SuperBrawl Revenge
Date: February 18, 2001
Location: Nashville Municipal Auditorium, Nashville, Tennessee
Attendance: 4,395
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson

I’m still not sure what the REVENGE subtitle is referring to but it might be due to the fact that we’ve seen several of these matches on TV in recent weeks. The main event is Kevin Nash challenging Scott Steiner for the World Title in a match we saw just six days ago on Nitro. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks like something out of a serial killer movie with someone cutting out pictures of Ric Flair and cutting words like PSYCHO and GREED out of magazines and newspapers. No idea what it meant but at least it looked cool.

Jamie Knoble vs. Evan Karagias vs. Kaz Hayashi vs. Yang vs. Shannon Moore vs. Shane Helms

Elimination match for the #1 contendership. Helms is a replacement after Animal attacked Kidman so we can have these six opening ANOTHER pay per view. Thankfully there are tags here so it won’t be as insane to keep track of. Well at least to start because there’s no way the tags last. Jamie and Shannon start things off but Shane comes in with Shannon tossing Jamie into a powerbomb for two.

Even sends 3 Count to the floor with the Dragons hitting stereo Asai Moonsaults (which the camera mostly misses). Back in and the Dragons double team Jamie, followed by Kaz headscissoring him into the middle turnbuckle. Jamie fights back and it’s off to Evan to beat on Yang. I know it’s not exactly a surprise but it would have been nice to not have a three way tag for a change.

Karagias plants Yang with a full nelson slam and then almost completely misses a springboard dive. Shane tags himself in and goes nuts on Evan before getting spun around into a rollup by Yang. Things are starting to speed up a bit with the Samoan Drop/neckbreaker combination getting two on Yang as Kaz makes the save. Tony says anyone could have made a save and Hudson talks about how anyone should have because he doesn’t know the rules of this thing.

The tags start getting much faster until Kaz starts cleaning house, only to have Evan drive him into the corner. Shane pops up with a top rope superplex to drop Kaz, followed by FIVE straight missed top rope moves to put all six down. Hudson: “The first man to his feet has to be the legal man.” No Scott, that’s not how wrestling works.

Kaz springboards into a kick to Evan’s head, only to get kicked into an X Plex from Shane. Evan hits a good looking springboard dive to take out Shane and Yang on the floor. We get the parade of dives with Jamie going last and being the only man standing. Back in and Evan gorilla presses Kaz into a spinebuster for two, followed by a powerbomb/missile dropkick combo but Jamie and Evan fight over who gets to cover. Guys don’t listen to Scott Hudson. It just destroys your career. In the melee, Yang grabs an over the back piledriver on Evan for the first elimination.

Jamie slips back in and grabs a tombstone to get rid of Yang to get us down to four. 3 Count’s double team doesn’t work as Jamie dropkicks Shannon into the barricade, only to have Shannon come back in with a super Bottoms Up for the pin on Noble. So we’re down to Shannon, Shane and Kaz with the team looking down at Hayashi. Hudson tries to say there are no teams here because he thinks we might believe him. In a fairly scary looking spot, Shannon backslides Kaz and Shane adds a guillotine legdrop at the same time.

Shane calls for the Vertebreaker but Shannon gives him the Bottoms Up in a quick turn. We get a ref bump on the save (STOP DOING THAT!) so Shane can kick out but Shannon low blows him right back down. Kaz and Shannon double team him for a bit before Kaz throws Moore outside. Shane gets back up and hits the Nightmare on Helm Street to eliminate Shannon and we’re down to two. Kaz rolls through a top rope sunset flip and kicks Shane in the face for two, only to get caught in the Vertebreaker to give Shane the title shot.

Rating: B. The match was the fun you would expect from these six but it’s getting really tiresome to see WCW putting them against each other over and over again. It’s cool to see them get some time like this (over seventeen minutes, the longest match on the show) but of course it’s the opener and the match is likely to be forgotten in about an hour because that’s where these guys belong.

Earlier today Chavo Guerrero was with Animal and Ric Flair but we can’t hear what was said. Chavo was upset though.

Hugh Morrus says General Rection did a lot of good things for the Wall in WCW but then Rection (he’s speaking like Rection is a different person) felt Wall’s betrayal. Tonight it’s Hugh Morrus, who has nothing but hatred in his heart.

Ric gives Scott Steiner an envelope that contains Kevin Nash’s future. Scott is very pleased by this.

Commissioner Lance Storm tells Kronik (arriving half an hour into the show) that Clark has to be seen by the company doctor before he can wrestle tonight. The Brian/Bryan’s don’t seem to mind.

Hugh Morrus vs. The Wall

Grudge match following the split of the Misfits in Action. Wall hammers away to start and gets an impressive looking shoulder to knock Morrus outside. Morrus comes back with a hard shot of his own and sends Wall into the steps, which he uses to crush Wall’s head up against the post. They get back in after a few minutes on the floor with Hugh dropping a top rope elbow for no cover.

Wall comes back with some big chops, followed by headbutts in the corner. Morrus avoids a top rope legdrop and both guys are down again. A spinebuster plants Morrus and keeps up the string of hard hitting moves. Back up and Wall gets flapjacked so we can have another double breather. They slug it out from their knees, which Hudson describes as not wrestling of any type. Then why exactly am I watching? Morrus gets up first and hits a German suplex to set up No Laughing Matter for the pin.

Rating: D. This started off well with them beating on each other with heavy shots that looked like they did a lot of damage but then the ridiculous amount of laying around after big spots got annoying in a hurry. Cut this match down by about two or three minutes and it’s actually a fun power brawl but it was clear that they were out there too long. Wall didn’t look as horrible here, which is high praise in his case.

Konnan goes after Animal for what he did to Kidman.

We recap the battle of the Thrillers, which is basically about who has the Tag Team Titles, which set up a rivalry over who were the stars of the team.

Tag Team Titles: Sean O’Haire/Chuck Palumbo vs. Mark Jindrak/Shawn Stasiak

O’Haire and Palumbo are defending. Before the match, both teams say they’re awesome and promise a win. A quick brawl breaks out at the bell before Stasiak clotheslines O’Haire to start. Sean sends Jindrak throat first into the ropes though, allowing Palumbo to get in a dropkick to the face. The champs take over with Palumbo jumping over his partner to land on Mark’s ribs before grabbing a sleeper.

Stasiak actually does something right for a change as he distracts Palumbo so Mark can get in a clothesline to take over. A double clothesline into a double nipup into a double elbow drop let the challengers show off a bit, only to have Palumbo hit that insanely hard right hand on Stasiak’s jaw. It’s not enough for the tag though as Jindrak takes him back into the corner for more stomping.

Mark grabs the chinlock on Palumbo as they’re doing the smart thing here by waiting on the hot tag to O’Haire, who is by far the most interesting of these four. Back to Stasiak for an armbar before Jindrak grabs a tilt-a-whirl slam for two. They’re certainly giving Stasiak and Jindrak a bunch of offense.

Shawn misses a top rope splash (which would have overshot Palumbo by three feet anyway) and the hot tag finally brings in O’Haire to a moderate pop. That’s not bad considering there’s no reason to cheer the champs, who never have done anything to turn face. Everything breaks down and Stasiak has to pull his partner away before the Seanton Bomb can launch. Not that it matters as Palumbo Jungle Kicks Shawn down, setting up the Seanton to retain.

Rating: B-. Not bad at all here and the clean finish did a lot of good here. Sometimes you just need one side to come off as the better team and that’s what happened in this match. O’Haire looks like a star and I’m really surprised he didn’t become a bigger deal in wrestling due to his look and athleticism alone. The other three were average at best (Palumbo) and a warm body at worst (Stasiak) with all four of them really needing personalities and/or characters.

Dustin Rhodes blames Ric Flair for keeping him out of WCW. Tonight he’s drawing first blood on his team. After that, you will never forget the name of Dustin Rhodes.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Chavo is defending after Rey won a gauntlet match earlier in the month. Rey starts fast with a running clothesline as you can see far too many empty seats in the upper deck. The champ sends him to the apron for an attempted sunset bomb which is countered into a hurricanrana to send Chavo flying. Back in and Chavo drapes him ribs first across the top rope.

Going after Rey’s ribs has worked for years so there’s no reason to not go for it again. Rey gets tied up in the Tree of Woe to work on the knee but Chavo stays on the ribs. Now that’s just versatility. It’s time for the Gory Special for a bit with Chavo teasing the Gory Bomb (not Gory Buster, no matter how many times the announcers try to refer to it as such). Rey escapes and tries a springboard, only to dive into a dropkick to the ribs. This has been all Chavo as he keeps countering everything Rey throws at him.

There’s an STF of all things before Chavo sends him outside. Rey comes up holding his knee which is quickly sent into the steps. Chavo steals a fan’s Mysterio mask and puts it on Rey before grabbing a chinlock. Back up and Rey crotches him on the turnbuckle, setting up a hurricanrana as the mask comes off. Chavo takes a breather outside so Rey flip dives over the top to take him out as he FINALLY starts acting like himself. Another springboard goes badly for Rey though as he bangs up his knee, also just like himself.

It’s time for a chair because….well I have no idea actually. Rey sends Chavo into the buckle and tries a hurricanrana, which finally sends Chavo outside after two botches. Hudson praises Rey’s execution, which Tony says is appropriate since he almost killed Chavo. That was far too close to being amusing. Cut it out Schiavone. Back in and the Bronco Buster hits Guerrero as Rey is way too healthy in a hurry. Rey goes for a chair so Chavo finds another one to crack Rey in the head, setting up the brainbuster to retain the title.

Rating: B+. What is with this show tonight? We’re almost halfway in and there has been one bad (and not even that bad) match so far. Chavo was basically wrestling himself for most of this match, which you really don’t expect out of Rey. To be fair though there’s a good chance that Mysterio is injured or at least banged up as he was so often. Chavo on the other hand is looking like the best champion in years and his matches are getting better and better every time.

Commissioner Storm moves up Kronik’s match, meaning Clark might not be tested in time.

We recap Dustin Rhodes vs. Rick Steiner, which is basically “Dustin is back and was here ten years ago so therefore he’s awesome” and Rick Steiner is here because he has to be.

US Title: Rick Steiner vs. Dustin Rhodes

Steiner is defending after Dustin pinned him on Nitro. Dustin starts fast with a DDT and clothesline as we hear about the Rhodes vs. Flair feud. A missed crossbody sends Dustin outside and it’s time for the brawling. Rick slowly pounds away and rakes the eyes, making sure he has as little wrestling involved as possible.

We hit the chinlock for a bit before it’s off to a half crab. It’s off to another chinlock until Dustin gets a jawbreaker (more like a Diamond Cutter) to escape. A clothesline puts Rick down again but he won’t sell a faceplant. Dustin’s bulldog sends the champ outside but the referee takes a chair away from Rhodes. During the argument, Rick takes the turnbuckle pad off and a hotshot onto the steel retains the title.

Rating: D. Rick Steiner sucks and I’m not sure I need to go much further than that. It doesn’t help that Dustin is such an uninteresting character with his clotheslines and bulldogs as we wait on the latest chapter in Dusty vs. Ric. This is probably the best example of WCW’s biggest problem: old guys hogging spots with no one else ever getting a chance. I’m no fan of his but Shane Douglas has been tossed aside in this whole thing for the sake of Steiner and that’s a downgrade at this point. At least Shane can cut a good heel promo.

Post match Rick beats on him even more but Dustin fights back and hits Shattered Dreams.

Ric tells Storm that everyone not on their team needs to be out of the building after their match. Also, Kronik vs. Totally Buff is now a #1 contenders match. Storm says consider it done. This has been your most recent plot advancement.

Diamond Dallas Page gives Cat a pep talk.

Totally Buff vs. Kronik

Before the match, Totally Buff has to laugh that Goldberg is gone. After getting through that, Buff says Clark hasn’t been medically released so this is a handicap match. Clark comes out but gets blasted in the head by a Buff chair shot to really make this two on one. Bagwell keeps moving to break up a full nelson slam and it’s an early double teaming to keep Adams in trouble. A double back elbow gets two and it’s off to Luger to stay on the back.

Adams makes a big comeback with some clotheslines and throws Bagwell at Luger. The super Blockbuster is broken up and here’s Clark into the ring as…..Bryan Clark comes out to the stage. IT’S A SWERVE as the Clark who was laid out earlier (when Kronik’s mood lighting was still on) was actually Mike Awesome in disguise. Mike lays out Adams with a German suplex, setting up the Blockbuster for the pin and the title shot at Greed.

Rating: D-. When I have to sit and try to figure out how many parts there were to a swerve, it might be a bit too complicated. It also doesn’t help that this is a match we’ve seen so many times already in recent weeks that all the novelty or interest in it has gone away. Bad on so many levels, not the least of which is Luger getting a title shot at the next pay per view.

The announcers talk about the swerve with Hudson pointing out that Storm must have been in on it, not realizing that Tony JUST SAID THAT. Bobby Heenan used to do that as a gag with Monsoon. Hudson does it because he’s not that bright.

Storm ejects Kronik from the building but they beat up security.

Lance Storm vs. The Cat

Winner is Commissioner, though if Cat wins it doesn’t take effect until midnight. Before the match we get a quick fan poll to decide who the people want as commissioner. Storm rides him to the mat to start and slaps him in the back of the head for fun. A spinning kick to the face sends Lance outside but he sends Cat into the barricade. Cat’s leg is bent around the ropes to start the build towards the Mapleleaf. Hudson says Cat won’t give up that easily because he wants that corner office back.

Storm kicks the leg out to break up a comeback bid but he takes too long going up and gets slammed back down. The leg is wrapped around the post though and Cat is down again. That lasts all of ten seconds before he comes back with his dancing offense, including the elbow drop. There’s a kick to the head but cue Mike Sanders, who is quickly taken down by Miss Jones (who is looking great tonight). The Feliner puts Storm away and makes Cat Commissioner again.

Rating: D. Thank goodness our six day international crisis is over. This could have been a lot worse but the key thing here was keeping it short. Cat is only going to be able to do so much in the ring, even with a technician like Storm out there doing most of the work for him. This was more of a spectacle, but Storm really should have been out of power longer.

Quick recap of Jeff Jarrett vs. Diamond Dallas Page, which is mainly over Jarrett having Page arrested (went nowhere) before bringing Page’s old enemy Kanyon back to feud with Page again.

Cat is the new Commissioner but Ric has thrown him out of the building.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Not so fast because Jeff brings up Page saying he would fight Kanyon anywhere anytime.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Kanyon

Kanyon sneaks in from behind but Page is ready for him with the discus lariat. They head outside with Kanyon going into the barricade a few times. Kanyon sends him in as well though, followed by a Fameasser from the apron onto the steps. Page has some blood on his eye as Kanyon suplexes him from the bottom rope back in for two. Another Fameasser (which Tony calls innovative) gets two more for Kanyon and we hit an innovative chinlock.

Back up and Kanyon uses Page’s swinging neckbreaker for two as there is a lot more blood in a hurry. Page fights back with a swinging Rock Bottom, only to eat a sitout Alabama Slam for another near fall. Kanyon hits the Cutter but the referee goes down, allowing Jarrett to come in with the Stroke. A Flatliner puts Page away.

Rating: C+. These are two guys who are going to have a good match with almost anyone you put out there and that’s what we got here. The Kanyon Cutter should have finished the match but at least the right person won here. Kanyon should have been a big deal but all the heel turns and time off really held him back.

Post match Kanyon introduces Jarrett for the original match.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Jeff Jarrett

Tony is saying Page just went “Ten, fifteen, twelve minutes” against Kanyon because just over eight minutes is close enough to twelve or fifteen. They fight into the crowd with Jarrett rocking the staggered Page with right hands. Back to ringside with Page sending him into the announcers’ table, only to be hit in the ribs with a few chair shots. Jeff drops some slow shots to the head but gets caught by the discus lariat. Sleeper, counter sleeper, jumping DDT from Page for a change of pace instead of the belly to back.

Back up and Page keeps slugging away with Jarrett going face first into the buckle over and over. Cue Kanyon, who Tony wants knocked out with a ball bat. Now come on Tony. You know it’s the ball bat that sets up the finisher which knocks people out around here. Jeff chairs Page down for two but the guitar hits Kanyon by mistake, setting up the Diamond Cutter for the pin. Hudson: “THAT IS A PERFORMANCE FOR THE HISTORY BOOKS!” For having back to back long TV matches?

Rating: C+. Despite a lot of the flack Page gets, he’s always going to give you a good match if he’s allowed the chance. It probably won’t be the best thing in the world but at least you’re guaranteed something totally watchable at worst, which is something WCW is severely lacking at this point.

We recap Scott Steiner vs. Kevin Nash. Basically Nash is standing up for WCW but Steiner hit him in the knee with a pipe on Nitro.

Ric Flair comes out for commentary on the main event.

WCW World Title: Kevin Nash vs. Scott Steiner

Steiner is defending but before we have the match, let’s look at the Sid Vicious injury to show how bad Scott can be to people. Ric has an announcement to make: the loser has to retire, which apparently was the ruling in the envelope. Nash is wheeled out with some good looking nurses and the leg in a cast. It looks like a countout but Nash stands up and we’re ready to go. A belt shot to Steiner’s head pins him in 12 seconds.

Of course that’s not it as Flair says it’s 2/3 falls and no DQ. We cut to the back to see Totally Buff lay out Page in the back as Nash beats on Steiner at ringside. Nash slowly hammers away before clotheslining him out to the floor. Midajah offers a distraction so Steiner can hit Nash in the head with a pipe. Flair makes it falls count anywhere so Steiner pins him on the floor for the second fall.

Some brass knuckles shots have Nash in even more trouble as the crowd is groaning as they’re far from impressed here. Both guys are bleeding and Steiner keeps hammering away at the cut on Nash’s head. The push-ups elbow gets two followed by the t-bone suplex for the same. Another knuckles shot is blocked with Nash hitting a side slam to put both guys down.

Midajah pulls the knuckles away from Nash but Flair sends in a chair so Nash can be knocked out (Tony: “He’s dead!”). The Recliner is broken up (with Tony acting like Nash is the new Goldberg as a result) and Nash gets two off a chokeslam with Midajah making the save. The Jackknife connects but Midajah interferes AGAIN, earning herself a side slam. Flair pulls the referee out and punches him in the jaw, allowing Steiner to get in a low blow, knuckles shot, chair shot and the Recliner to retain.

Rating: F. Nash isn’t exactly the new Goldberg because it didn’t take this much to put Goldberg down. You could see what they were going for as soon as Nash pinned him off the belt shot and it was just a bunch of Tony treating Nash like the greatest thing that ever lived for the rest of the match. Nash actually wouldn’t wrestle in WCW again so for once they did something right, though I’d be surprised if he wasn’t on Nitro tomorrow.

Overall Rating: C+. This is a good example of a show where you knew exactly what you were going to get out of each match. Six man cruiserweight elimination? Good stuff. Lance Storm vs. The Cat? Waste of time. Kevin Nash vs. Scott Steiner? Oh please. The big surprise though was how much good stuff there actually was and the show was very nice as a result. I can’t imagine anything else they’ll have will top this but at least it was nice to have one more easy show to sit through.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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As is always the case I’ll be doing last year’s show but you can pick the show I redo this year.  1998 was done last year so that’s out of the running as well.  This will be a fresh redo and not just a reposting of one I did years ago.  Vote in the comments.

Sin
Date: January 18, 2001
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Attendance: 6,617
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson

We’re down to three WCW pay per views to go and the build to this one hasn’t exactly instilled me with confidence. The main event is a four way for the World Title with a mystery man included. Based on everything else WCW has done with their attempts at surprises in recent years, I really can’t imagine this going well. Let’s get to it.

The opening video lists off the seven deadly sins with shots of people in the major matches. I’d think WCW has had far more than seven sins, such as bringing in Russo, keeping Russo, David Arquette and I could probably go on for a long time.

Cruiserweight Title: Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Shane Helms

Chavo is defending and Shane asks his partner Shannon Moore to let him do this on his own. They hit the mat to start with Shane grabbing a Fujiwara armbar to send Chavo over to the ropes. A hammerlock does the same and it’s time for Chavo to fire off some chops. That earns him an armdrag down, followed by a fireman’s carry into a facebuster on the knee.

It’s off to the floor with Chavo being sent into the barricade as this has been almost all Shane so far. As expected I spoke too soon as Chavo comes back with an Alabama Slam for two which Tony says is part of Chavo’s new attitude. We hit the chinlock for all of three seconds before Shane fights up and grabs a running neckbreaker. The X Plex (not a dragon suplex Tony) gets two on the champ but Chavo sends him outside for a big dive off the top.

Shane is right back up and sends Chavo outside for something like a frog splash cross body to drop Guerrero. A Samoan drop gets two for Shane but the Vertebreaker is countered. Shane settles for the Nightmare on Helm Street for a very close two. Back up and Shane tries it again, only to be reversed into a tornado DDT attempt. That’s countered as well but Shane still can’t hit the Nightmare, allowing Chavo to grab a brainbuster to retain.

Rating: B+. I really dug this one as they were just hitting each other with one big spot after another until Chavo won a wrestling sequence because that’s his bread and butter. Shane is clearly a star in the making though and the division is really looking up with all the other names around to have great matches with Chavo or whoever has the title in the near future.

The announcers talk for a bit because the opener was entertaining so we need to slow things down before the crowd has too much fun.

Earlier today, Ric Flair arrived but still won’t reveal the Mystery Man.

Big Vito and Johnny the Bull are ready for Reno because this is what Vito stands for.

Reno vs. Big Vito

They’re brothers who are fighting over Reno picking the Thrillers over family though this feud hasn’t been talked about much in recent weeks. Johnny has disappeared between the backstage segment and coming to the ring with no explanation of why he’s not here. Just have Vito say “I’m handling this one myself” or don’t have Johnny, who didn’t say anything, there for the promo.

Reno powerslams him down to start and stomps away for two. It’s time to go outside with Vito being sent into various metal objects until he comes back with a clothesline to get his first offense. There’s a superplex for two on Reno but he stays on his feet after an enziguri. Instead Reno sends him shoulder first into the post so the pounding can continue. Vito finally comes back with a Mafia kick and a top rope elbow for two. The inverted DDT is broken up though as Reno throws him down with a t-bone. Back up and Reno reverses a backdrop for Roll of the Dice and the pin.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but nothing I’m interested in watching. Vito has gone from someone showing promise to being just another guy on the roster who loses most of the time. Reno is someone who looks like he has potential but there doesn’t seem to be anything under the surface.

Mike Sanders talks to Brian Adams like he’s an idiot but pays him off anyway. Bryan Clark comes up with money of his own for a better job.

Jung Dragons vs. Noble and Karagias

Bonus match. Evan and Kaz slug it out to start until Kaz lifts him up for a German suplex. Everything breaks down and a double dropkick lets the Dragons clear the ring, followed by a double moonsault as a bonus. Back in and Kaz throws Evan off the top to break up a superplex, only to be dropkicked out of the air (mostly at least as Evan wasn’t quite on target).

Karagias side slams Kaz so Jamie can add a top rope legdrop for two, followed by a hard cross body for two more. Evan loads up Kaz for a gorilla press but gets countered into an attempted tornado DDT, only to have that reversed into a spinebuster to plant Kaz. Jamie comes in and blasts Yang off the apron to prevent the tag so Kaz kicks him in the head to put Noble down.

Now the hot tag brings in Yang to speed things WAY up, which is quite surprising given how fast it already was. Evan springboards down onto Kaz and Yang counters Noble’s hurricanrana into a super Batista Bomb for two of his own. A 450 gets another near fall on Yang but Kaz springboards in with a DDT. Yang COMPLETELY misses Yang Time (as in Jamie didn’t even need to move) so he has to grab a small package to pin Noble instead.

Rating: B+. Sweet goodness they’re working hard tonight. This was an excellent cruiserweight tag match but do you really expect anything else from any combination of these two and 3 Count? They just know how to put on entertaining matches with high spot after high spot. Really fun match here that didn’t overstay its welcome, which is so important in a match like this.

Totally Buff arrives in an old purple car. Their backup plan with Goldberg is to have someone run in to get him disqualified so he’ll be fired. Why has no one else ever thought of that?

Mike Sanders vs. The Cat

This is for the commissionership and the services of Ms. Jones, who is supposed to be with Sanders here but comes out with Cat. Sanders says he wants to keep the job for the money and nothing else. Cat is bald for a change of pace. Yeah Sanders is here for the money but Cat is here for the people. We actually get a fan poll to waste a few seconds until Sanders jumps him from behind to take over. Mike is now in trunks with his Thrillers muscle shirt for a really weird look. Cat chases him to the floor for a bit but Sanders keeps pounding away as this is going nowhere to start.

Some right hands in the corner have Mike in trouble so he low blows Cat for a break. A high sunset flip doesn’t work on Cat as he crotches chops and then hits Sanders in the head. Mike tries a chair but Jones takes it away and kicks him in the back. Cue the Thrillers to beat up Cat as the referee is yelling at Jones, only to have Kronik come out and save him, revealing who paid the higher amount. Clark shoves the money in Sanders’ mouth (Why?) and Cat gives him the Feliner to become Commissioner again, basically guaranteeing that Flair goes evil soon. Somehow the referee didn’t see or hear ANY of that because of course.

Rating: D. Yeah it’s the worst match of the night but it’s not even six minutes long and was entertaining enough. Neither guy is worth much in the ring so it’s a good idea to have one of them being a talker instead of a full time wrestler. Cat is a fun enough guy so this was fine for what it was, which to be fair wasn’t much.

Flair and Goldberg see Totally Buff arriving and talking about the DQ. Ric makes it No DQ and then introduces Goldberg to a friend of his whose son is a fan. Goldberg signs an autograph and takes a picture……which seems to lead nowhere. Ok then.

Jeff Jarrett says Scott Steiner can trust him but no one else. Oh and Gene will be back in the retirement home if he doesn’t stop spreading these rumors. The announcers make sure to point out that Jarrett sounded defensive.

Team Canada vs. Filthy Animals

This is a six man tag with a penalty box, meaning if you break a rule you’re out for a designated time period. Jim Duggan is guest referee. Team Canada (Lance Storm, Mike Awesome and Elix Skipper with Major Gunns) come out in the Team Canada bus. Storm accuses Duggan of being in the Animals’ back pocket. Duggan reads off the list of things that could draw a penalty to really drag things out.

Storm and Mysterio start with Rey (with Kidman and Konnan here) headscissoring Lance into the corner. Rey gets crotched though so Storm brings in Skipper but the referee says that wasn’t enough of a tag. Awesome complains too and bumps Duggan, meaning he’s in the box for one minute. So Storm gets triple teamed for a bit with Konnan powerbombing Rey on top of him for no cover.

Skipper gets back in and gets planted by a Kidman suplex. Awesome pulls Kidman down from the apron and gets penalized with storm being thrown in for a pull of the hair a few seconds later. Konnan scores with a rolling lariat on Skipper before putting on something like a Koji Clutch crossed with a Kimura on the mat (actually called a Mr. Salty).

That goes nowhere so Rey drops a leg as the other Canadians come in. I mean, it’s not like the penalties have meant anything here but they’ve been happening. Skipper tries to Matrix up but gets taken down with a reverse DDT for two. A missile dropkick puts Konnan down but Elix lands on his feet like Koko B. Ware used to do.

Konnan headscissors and Rey tries a Bronco Buster, only to be sent to the box because Awesome is on the ropes. Kidman is sent with him for no apparent reason, allowing the women to get into it over a water bottle. That means both of them are sent into the box as Skipper puts on a chinlock, much to Storm’s chagrin. Konnan finally puts Storm down and the hot tag brings in Kidman to clean house. A powerbomb plants Storm again and the now legal Rey backdrops Kidman over the top to take Lance out again.

Everything breaks down and Skipper is thrown in the box somewhere in there. Awesome tries to cut Kidman’s hair for some reason and goes to the box as well. Tygress adds a Bronco Buster to Storm and gets boxed as well. The Kid Crusher gets two on Storm with Awesome making the save. An Awesome Bomb plants Rey and Kidman taps to the Maple Leaf for the win.

Rating: D. What a freaking mess. Not only was there no sense of logic in the penalties (yes they were called straight but that’s not how something like this is supposed to go) but the match was all messy with the penalties not really meaning anything since the wrestlers in trouble wouldn’t have been able to tag out anyway. There’s too much going on here and having the heels in the box most of the time defeats the point of the match.

Sanders says the Thrillers are ready to get the Tag Team Titles back.

The Insiders are getting ready.

We recap the Hardcore Title match which saw Terry Funk coming back and destroying Crowbar at Starrcade to take the title. Crowbar decided he wasn’t being serious enough and went back to his roots, only to have Meng come in and beat both of them of to make it a three way feud.

Hardcore Title: Meng vs. Terry Funk vs. Crowbar

Funk is defending but Meng comes in with the title. Daffney is in the aisle so Funk grabs her by the hair to draw Crowbar out for some chair shots to the champ’s head. They fight into the back and we get the women’s restroom raid. Meng finally joins them and puts Funk in a trashcan for a quick beating. They leave the restroom with Funk throwing a trashcan at Meng’s head to little avail.

Funk has his head rammed into a metal door and starts punching at the air before helping Crowbar throw a pile of tables on top of Meng. They go back into the arena with Crowbar putting Funk on a table and climbing up onto some tarped off seats (Tony: “Those are reserved seats.” Reserved for who? Elvis?) for a double legdrop.

Meng comes back and hammers on Crowbar before kicking him down the ramp. Funk is back up and hits Meng in the head with a snow shovel (thankfully sold) before slamming Crowbar through a piece of barricade (which just happened to be standing in front of the regular barricade).

Crowbar comes back (of course) and starts in on Funk’s knees as Tony makes vague references to Beyond the Mat. A Figure Four on Funk is broken up as Meng comes in off the top (!) with a splash. Funk and Crowbar take turns beating on Meng with chairs until he goes down. That’s it for them working together though as Crowbar chairs Funk, allowing Meng to blast Crowbar in the face. The Tongan Death Grip gives Meng the title.

Rating: D+. This was entertaining enough and that’s exactly what it needed to be. Having someone like Meng as champion was probably the best idea they could have gone with as the person who finally knocked him off would look like a much bigger deal as a result. The weapon stuff was fine here but more than anything else it helped to have someone so different in there. You can only watch people hit each other with chairs for so long before it loses all appeal.

Flair gives Cat and Miss Jones the rest of the night off.

Sid, still in street clothes with less than an hour and a half in the show, is ready to win the title that belongs to him.

We recap the Tag Team Titles. The Insiders won the belts twice but the Thrillers won a tag team battle royal so tonight it’s a match with any two Thrillers getting the show.

Tag Team Titles: Sean O’Haire/Chuck Palumbo vs. Insiders

Nash/Page are defending. Sanders comes out to say this isn’t going to be so easy but cue Flair to say everyone else is out so this is two on two. Page and Palumbo get things going with a slugout from the old man, followed by a clothesline. A spinning Rock Bottom gets two and a Cactus Clothesline puts them both on the floor.

Back in and a double tag brings in Nash to stare down at O’Haire, who moonsaults over Nash and superkicks him to take over for the first time. Palumbo comes in and takes clotheslines from both champs, only to have O’Haire nail Page from behind so Chuck can get in the Jungle Kick to drop Page. A double slingshot suplex (cool) gets two for the Thrillers as we hear about the RAGE building up in Kevin Nash.

Page reverses Palumbo’s tombstone into one of his own and both guys are down. O’Haire is tagged first but accidentally punches Page into the tag to Nash as everything breaks down. Cue the Thrillers as Nash powerbombs Palumbo. The referee goes after the thrillers as Lex Luger comes out to distract Page for no logical reason. This allows Buff Bagwell, dressed as a plumber, to come in and hit Nash with a wrench. The Seanton Bomb gives the Thrillers the titles. Tony: “Why Buff why?” Because he’s a heel you dingbat.

Rating: D+. Not the worst match here but WAY overbooked near the end. At least Nash took the fall, after a bunch of interference and a wrench to the back of the head of course. There’s something to be said about the fact that the Insiders got two title runs out of being transitional champions from one set of Thrillers to another. The match was what you would have expected of course.

The announcers talk about the Goldberg tag match.

Sanders says the Thrillers have plenty to celebrate tonight and Buff was acting on his own.

Flair, who apparently saw NONE of that, is off to get the Mystery Man. “It’s SHOWTIME!”

We recap Shane Douglas vs. General Rection. The General accidentally squashed Torrie Wilson to write her off TV but Shane wanted revenge in the form of that US Title. Rection kept the title at Starrcade so it’s time for a rematch with First Blood rules.

US Title: General Rection vs. Shane Douglas

Rection is defending and this is First Blood. That’s not enough though as there’s a chain hanging above the ring to make the bloodletting a bit easier. Rection wants Shane checked for a chain, which would be perfectly legal in a match like this. The referee finds one and takes it away because even the referees don’t understand the rules of the match. Since it’s a first blood match, Rection starts with a wristlock and armdrag into an armbar. Rection: “ASK HIM!” Ask him what exactly?

Tony tries to cover by saying it’s going to wear Shane down so Rection can use the heavy offense to make him bleed. Makes enough sense, marking a first in this match. Rection gets smart and punches at the forehead before blasting Shane with a top rope clothesline. No Laughing Matter gets Rection crotched and Shane starts in on the leg. This would be a much better match if it didn’t have the First Blood rule making a lot of this offense look questionable.

We hit the Figure Four on the champ (it’s horrible) for a few moments before they head outside for some play time. Shane hammers away with right hands in the crowd before wrapping the bad leg around the post. Back in and we hit the chinlock for a bit before Rection gets free and grabs a ladder. The chain is pulled down but the referee gets bumped. Shane finds the chain the referee took away from him and blasts Rection for the blood and the title.

Rating: D. Really lame First Blood match but a decent regular match. Unfortunately this was billed as something with a special gimmick and that’s not what we got here. The chain and ladder aspects didn’t need to be here and really dragged this one down but I’d rather have someone like Shane with the title than a guy named General Rection. There was just no way around that name.

Scott Steiner doesn’t care what Ric Flair puts in front of him.

Rection says it’s not worth it anymore.

We recap Totally Buff vs. Goldberg/Dewayne Bruce which is going on because WCW insisted on the feud continuing after Goldberg beat Luger twice. Luger went after Goldberg’s trainer and set up this match with the idea that they can beat Bruce and get rid of Goldberg by ending the Streak.

Totally Buff vs. Goldberg/Sgt. Dewayne Bruce

No DQ and Bruce is coming in with a broken arm. Goldberg and Luger start but the threat of a superkick sends Bagwell bailing out to the floor. A big old shoulder drops Luger to start and a butterfly suplex sends him over into the corner to Buff. Bagwell: “ME?” Goldberg: “Yeah you!”

Bagwell comes in and gets gorilla pressed into a spinebuster before it’s off to Bruce for the first time. A middle rope elbow gets two on Bagwell but Sarge runs into a double back elbow to start the obvious beating. Buff gets one off the double arm DDT with Goldberg in for the save before the referee even went down for the count. Luger’s forearm gets two and Goldberg’s kick for the save clearly didn’t make contact.

Sarge reverses a suplex to take Buff down and it’s off to Goldberg to clean house. Goldberg throws Luger to the floor where he lands right in front of the kid that Goldberg signed an autograph for earlier. The kid maces Goldberg, allowing Luger to hit him with a chair while the kid stands at ringside with security just letting him hang around. A super Blockbuster lets Luger get the pin to retire Goldberg and shock the crowd.

Rating: D-. You know who should have gotten that pin? Sean O’Haire, Mark Jindrak, or one of the other Thrillers not named Stasiak. Instead though, it’s Lex Luger, because HE needed a rub. You think this is leading anywhere for Luger? Of course not, because it’s LEX LUGER. Swap Totally Buff out for the Thrillers and let them have the meaningless Tag Team Titles while the Thrillers get to have the win that actually matters. I get that Goldberg had to leave (due to needing shoulder surgery) but they really had nothing better to do than have Lex Luger fight him for three straight pay per views? This company deserves to die.

Goldberg has his eyes washed out as the announcers talk about what a tragedy this is.

We recap the World Title match which is basically Steiner vs. the World with the question of who is Ric Flair’s Mystery Man.

WCW World Title: Scott Steiner vs. Sid Vicious vs. Jeff Jarrett vs. Mystery Man

Steiner is defending and this is one fall to a finish. There’s no Mystery Man to start so it’s a triple threat, as was advertised for a good while leading up to this show. Steiner goes after Flair so Jarrett has to bring him back to the ring where Sid is waiting on both of them. Sid gets double teamed and Jarrett is actually ok with letting Steiner go for the covers. The Push Up elbow gets two on Sid and Steiner hits him with the belt for good measure.

Jeff covers for two and this time Steiner is fine with it. Hudson: “Something is going on between Jeff Jarrett and Scott Steiner.” Sid suplexes both guys (well kind of a DDT to Steiner but close enough) and starts clotheslining. A chokeslam gets two on Jarrett and Steiner is planted with a cobra clutch slam. Jeff is whipped over the barricade and we cut to Flair getting the Mystery Man out of the limo.

We come back….and Sid’s leg is bent like a pretzel after coming off the middle rope (off camera), basically ending his full time career. Steiner does push-ups to stall while we wait on the Mystery Man before choking with his boot. Now the Mystery Man comes out (to Flair’s music) as Hudson realizes that Sid has a broken leg. The Mystery Man is in, hits Sid once, and lets Steiner pin Sid to retain.

Rating: D-. You have to forgive them for the ending as Sid’s injury took away whatever else they had planned. I’m sure the result would have been the same but it’s not fair to criticize them for having it fall this flat when Sid couldn’t move. Unfortunately you can blame them for the rest of the match with all the standing around waiting on anything interesting to happen. This wasn’t even eight minutes long and the stuff before the leg injury was barely six of that. There was no way this was going to be good and it’s made even worse with all the nonsense they packed into it.

The Mystery Man is Road Warrior Animal. Yeah, as in the guy they said was as big of a star as The Rock and Steve Austin. I’m really not sure if Tony is shooting or not as he freaks out that it’s actually Animal.

Overall Rating: D. Dang it they really can’t get out of their own way sometimes. If this show had just been altered slightly with the cruiserweight tag coming later on the show and say Cat vs. Sanders opening things up, the show would have been much easier to sit through. Unfortunately WCW has way more problems than the order of the matches though as there was just no way to get around all the horrible stuff they had to throw out there to protect the top names. It’s a bit of an upgrade but still has so many of the same problems that got them in trouble in the first place.

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Wrestlemania XXI
Date: April 3, 2005
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 20,193
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

If last year’s show was about change, this one is ten times stronger. This year is about introducing the newest generation of mega stars into the top of the card and it couldn’t happen sooner. JBL and HHH had been very boring champions with HHH cutting the wings off nearly everyone (including Orton, who turned face after taking the title from Benoit, only to drop it back to HHH a month later). With no one left, it’s time for someone new. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

Raw: William Regal, Tajiri, Rhyno, Hurricane, Rosey, Simon Dean, Snitsky, Chris Masters, Val Venis, Maven, Sylvan Grenier, Rob Conway, Tyson Tomko, Viscera

Smackdown: Hardcore Holly, Charlie Haas, Luther Reigns, Scotty 2 Hotty, Funaki, Spike Dudley, Billy Kidman, Doug Basham, Danny Basham, Orlando Jordan, Paul London, Heidenreich, Mark Jindrak, Booker T., Nunzio, Akio

This would become a tradition and a way to get a lot more people on the show and therefore a Wrestlemania payday. This is also interpromotional so everyone is in a red Raw shirt or a blue Smackdown shirt. Regal and Tajiri are Raw Tag Team Champions, Dean is a fitness guru, Snitsky is a freaky guy, Masters is strong, Tomko is Christian’s enforcer, Reigns is another big power guy, Jordan is a JBL lackey and US Champion, London is Cruiserweight Champion and Heidenreich is just weird. I’m not sure why Smackdown has one more name than Raw but it doesn’t really matter. General managers Eric Bischoff and Teddy Long are at ringside.

The rosters stare each other down to start and Hurricane gives Heidenreich a mask. Ever the nice guy, Heidenreich hits him in the face to start the fighting. Spike hides on the apron and we’re firmly in the part of the battle royal where you can’t tell anything that’s going on. Reigns pulls Hurricane off the top and dumps him out but a bunch of guys get rid of Reigns just as quickly.

A bunch of people go after Viscera and knock him down because they’re not that bright. Four guys hold him down and Scotty adds the Worm, only to have Masters throw out Scotty, Funaki, Spike and Kidman in a row. Well at least the ring is a little bit clearer. Haas is eliminated and a quick Regal chant goes nowhere. Nunzio is thrown under the bottom rope as the match slows a bit. Maven was eliminated somewhere in there.

Heidenreich, still in the Hurricane mask, rips the turnbuckle pad off for no apparent reason. I told you he was strange. Venis is clotheslined out by Heidenreich and Simon is out a few seconds later. Grenier follows and so does Rosey. Rhyno Gores Snitsky but Holly puts Rhyno out shortly thereafter. There goes Conway followed by both Bashams as the match is now a lot easier to keep track of. Raw and Smackdown square off again and it’s Holly planting Regal with the Alabama Slam.

Jordan eliminates Tomko and Viscera sends Akio over the top and face first onto the steps. Masters eliminates Holly who is followed by Regal. Tajiri sprays the mist into Heidenreich’s face and he eliminates London by mistake. By mistake because they’re both on Smackdown and the idea here is brand vs. brand, even though it’s every man for themselves. Tajiri and Heidenreich go to the apron and both guys are out a few seconds later. We’re down to Masters, Viscera, Snitsky, Jindrak and Booker.

Jindrak catapults Snitsky out and absolutely levels Viscera with a left hand. Masters dumps Jindrak from behind and we’re down to three but Nunzio comes back in because he was never eliminated. He actually makes it a full ten seconds before being eliminated for real and it’s Viscera, Masters and Booker to go. Booker fights out of the double team but the side kick lands on the ropes. Viscera misses a charge and gets low bridged out, leaving Booker to superkick Masters out for the win at 11:36.

Rating: D+. Not the worst battle royal here as they had a bunch of people in there but it was clearly just a way to get them on the DVD for the royalty payment. Still though, Booker winning was a good idea and it’s hard to complain about a bonus match that doesn’t hurt anything and wasn’t part of the main show.

Lillian Garcia sings America the Beautiful.

We get one of my favorite parts of this show: the trailers. The theme of this show was Wrestlemania Goes Hollywood, meaning there were several parody movie scenes with wrestlers in place of the actors. We have Eugene as Forrest Gump, Booker T. as Samuel L. Jackson from Pulp Fiction, HHH as Braveheart, John Cena and JBL as Tom Cruise and Jack Nicholson from A Few Good Men, Undertaker as Dirty Harry, Christy Hemme as Meg Ryan from When Harry Met Sally, Christian, Chris Benoit and Stacy Keibler in the interrogation scene from Basic Instinct and most of the roster as Robert De Niro from Taxi Driver.

Now we get the debut of the final trailer from Gladiator. The emperor comes down to congratulate the gladiator whose face we can’t see. The voice sounds very familiar though and he takes off the helmet to reveal Steve Austin, who describes himself as a beer drinker among beer drinkers and the master of the middle finger. He promises to create havoc at Wrestlemania tonight because that’s what he does. Good stuff here, as were all of these.

The aisle has a red carpet and there’s a movie marquee that advertises Wrestlemania XXI. It’s one of their better sets ever actually.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

This is face vs. face as they’re the reigning Smackdown Tag Team Champions. Eddie however is a bit frustrated because he thinks Rey has been showing him up a bit lately. No superhero gear this time as Rey is in a combination Mexican/USA flag costume instead. The bell rings and Rey is already adjusting his mask. Rey flips out of a fireman’s carry and shoulders Eddie down until Guerrero armdrags him down.

A headscissors puts Eddie on the floor and it’s time to adjust the mask again. It has a Velcro hook instead of the usual buttons and that’s not going to work very well. Back in and Eddie takes him down with a wristlock until a monkey flip sends Eddie flying. A right hand knocks Rey off the apron though as the aggression is starting. Back in and Eddie gets two off a belly to back before slapping on a surfboard (which takes a good while to finally apply). Eddie has to let go and Rey fixes the mask again.

We hit an STF on Rey but Eddie doesn’t pull back on it very well. Mysterio armdrags out of an armbar and Eddie is looking frustrated. More mask adjustment sets up a flip dive from Rey, followed by more time spent fixing the thing. Mysterio tries to speed things up but Eddie drops him with an elbow to the jaw. Three Amigos are broken up but Rey gets caught in a backbreaker. Two more Amigos connect but Rey counters (adjusting the mask in the process) into the 619, only to have that countered into another backbreaker.

The Three Amigos finally work but the frog splash misses. 619 connects and Rey is bleeding from the mouth. The West Coast Pop is countered into a sweet powerbomb for two as the fans are behind Eddie. Back up and a quick hurricanrana gives Rey the pin (with one final mask fix) at 12:36.

Rating: B. Good stuff here but I think they were expecting something even better. This is what happens when you have a masterpiece like these two had at Halloween Havoc 1997: it sets a virtually unbreakable precedent and puts way too much pressure on them to top it every time they square off again. This kicked off a four month long feud between the two which produced some excellent matches, which was tragically followed up by Eddie’s death in November.

Eddie shakes Rey’s hand.

JBL and company run into HHH and Flair. They compare legacies and HHH laughs at the idea of anyone believing JBL is as good as he thinks. A future showdown is teased but thankfully this never went anywhere. Flair gets in a WOO just because.

Adam Sandler and Rob Schneider are here.

Chris Jericho vs. Chris Benoit vs. Christian vs. Edge vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Kane

Money in the Bank, which means a ladder match for a briefcase which guarantees them a World Title shot at any time in the next year. Jericho came up with this one night on Raw and others signed up over the next few weeks. This and the battle royal were a much better idea than the multi-team tag matches we sat through last year. Christian has Tomko with him. Shelton is the Intercontinental Champion and has become one heck of a singles star in recent months. Kane’s entrance is again cool as the set has flames all over it, including the ladders set up near the entrance.

Kane starts fighting in the aisle and beats up all four Canadians plus Shelton. Benjamin and Benoit suplex him at ringside but Jericho smacks Edge in the face with a ladder as the bell rings. Jericho beats Shelton up to start but stops to dive on Benoit. Christian dives on all three of his fellow Canadians but Benjamin dives onto all of them plus Tomko. Kane takes out all five of them with a clothesline from the top before hitting Edge with a fresh ladder.

Jericho dropkicks the ladder into Kane but comes up holding his leg. Shelton and Edge take ladders to the face and Edge gets a second dose. Benoit comes back in to German Jericho and the ladder at the same time but Kane breaks up the first climb. That’s fine with Benoit as he grabs the Crossface on Kane. Edge gets the same treatment until Kane hits Benoit in the face with the ladder for the save. Kane isn’t done with him as he crushes Benoit’s arm between the ladder, only to turn into a spear from Edge.

We get a quick Edge and Christian reunion as they crush Kane with ladders, much to the delight of the crowd. Shelton gets back in and kicks a ladder into Christian’s face and flapjacks Edge into the ladder for good measure. Jericho and Benjamin fight on top of the ladder but Christian sets up his own and joins them. Benoit climbs up with one arm but here’s Edge on a third ladder. Lawler: “It’s like open house at Home Depot!”

Christian takes Benoit down by the arm, Jericho gets shoved off and Shelton hits his t-bone exploder suplex to take Edge down. The ladder falls on the two of them to make it even worse. Christian bridges a ladder up against another one to make a ramp but Jericho puts him down and climbs, only to have Shelton run up the ramp and clothesline him down. Kane comes back in and cleans house until Tomko kicks him in the face. Tomko lifts Christian up ala Rhyno at Wrestlemania XVII but Kane makes a save.

Kane sends the ladder over to send Christian crashing to the floor and onto Tomko. Well it’s better than those insane crashes Christian used to take. Jericho and Kane both fall off the ladder with Kane crashing in the middle of the ring. Benoit drops a Swan Dive off the ladder to bust himself open. The bloody Canadian climbs up but Kane does the Undertaker situp, only to get headbutted back down to the mat. Benoit is alone up there but Edge BLASTS him in the bad arm with a chair, allowing him to climb up (JR: “Somebody stop him! Anyone! Even Christian!”) and win at 15:20.

Rating: A-. It’s amazing how much better these things are when you have a more reasonable number of people. Six seems to be the magic number but the later versions would have seven or eight and the whole thing would get too crowded and watered down. This was awesome fun though with some great spots that would be built on in future years. Edge getting the win is the biggest moment of his career and it felt like a huge moment. Really good way to introduce the concept.

Here’s Eugene (Eric Bischoff’s, shall we say, slow nephew) with something to say. This is his second favorite Wrestlemania moment after King Kong Bundy squashed one of the midgets at Wrestlemania III and the rest of the midgets got together like an army. This brings out Muhammad Hassan and manager Daivari, a pair of Arab American wrestlers who claimed racism was the only thing holding them back.

Hassan: “Do you know why I’m angry?” Eugene: “You don’t like midgets?” Hassan rants about all the fake people here in Hollywood and the prejudice and bigotry in the city’s history. In his way over the top voice, Hassan goes off about taking a backseat to a loser like Eugene. He could not, would not and will not stand for this so he’s going to create a Wrestlemania moment of his own. Hassan decks the injured Eugene and puts him in the camel clutch…..which brings out Hulk Hogan in the red and yellow.

Hulk cleans house with ease and the fans eat this up with a fork and spoon. Daivari’s chair shot goes very badly for him and it’s time to pose. This set up a tag match at Backlash with Hogan teaming up with Shawn Michaels. It’s a great moment and a great surprise with Hogan bringing the crowd to his feet doing as he can do better than almost anyone else. The American flag drops, just in case you didn’t know who you were supposed to cheer for. Keep in mind though: Hassan is from New York and Daivari is from Minnesota.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Undertaker. Orton had lost the Raw World Title to HHH and then lost a long feud to him, meaning it was time to give him something fresh. To get back on track, Orton turned heel again (he pretty much had to after the face turn was ruined so badly) and decided to end the Streak. Even Randy’s dad Cowboy Bob thought Randy is crazy for trying this until the RKO put Undertaker down one night on Smackdown.

Undertaker vs. Randy Orton

The druids and torches are back this year. Undertaker, with his hair past his shoulders again, glides to the ring without taking a single step. No Cowboy Bob with Orton here. Orton starts with a slap and nails a nice dropkick for one. That earns him a stiff right hand to the jaw and the RKO is easily countered as Undertaker throws him to the floor.

Old School actually connects but Orton hits another dropkick and punches him in the face. Undertaker comes right back with a side slam for two. Snake Eyes looks to set up a big boot but Orton elbows him in the face to take over. The fans are all over Orton as he pounds away with forearms and right hands. A dragon sleeper (a hold Undertaker used for a bit until it became clear that it didn’t fit him) has Orton in trouble spins around and counters with a DDT.

We hit the chinlock but Undertaker would rather not bore the fans so he suplexes Orton down instead. A powerslam gets two on Undertaker and Orton is stunned. I’m not sure why as he never won anything major with that move but that’s a young heel for you. He follows that up by being a young stupid heel as he pounds down right hands in the corner, only to get caught in the Last Ride. Orton slips out and tries an RKO but gets sent into the referee for a horrible ref bump. I mean Orton’s forearm grazed the referee’s chest and it looked like he died.

After Undertaker falls down trying another Last Ride, here’s Cowboy Bob (who might have missed his cue to force the second failed powerbomb) to knock Undertaker out with the cast (He had a very slow healing arm injury. Going on twenty years at this point.) but there’s still no referee. Undertaker gets up and tries a chokeslam, only to have Orton counter into an RKO in midair. That’s one of my all time favorite spots. Orton is stupid enough to try a Tombstone but Undertaker reverses into the real thing to put Orton away at 14:16.

Rating: B-. This show is on fire to start with the third straight good match, which is somehow a step down after a pair of really good matches. Orton looked like a star out there and began the tradition of someone wanting to break the Streak instead of someone having a personal issue with Undertaker. This would become something like another World Title match over the years as the matches would (eventually) become bigger and bigger over time.

We recap evil Trish vs. Christy Hemme. Christy was in Playboy and Trish didn’t like not being in the spotlight, setting up a title defense for Trish here. Lita tore her ACL in January to prevent another showdown with Trish and is training Christy to make us think she has a chance. The problem is Hemme is just a model and is making her debut against the best female wrestler of the generation.

Women’s Title: Christy Hemme vs. Trish Stratus

Trish is defending of course and easily kicks Christy to the floor to start. Christy is sent into the steps and this is already looking one sided. Back in and the Chick Kick is blocked, followed by Christy kicking Trish low to take over. It’s clear that she has NO idea what she’s doing though and Lawler keeps the focus on her very short skirt. Christy sunset flips her out of the corner for two and makes her comeback with some lame kicks, followed by a reverse Twist of Fate. That’s it though as the Chick Kick puts Christy out of her misery at 4:11.

Rating: D. This was about Christy looking good and Lita being there for a completely token appearance. At the end of the day, this was going to be the future of the Divas division no matter how many people were disappointed. Your wrestling ability stopped mattering because the only important thing was how good you looked in skin tight shorts. Bad match but they kept it short as they should have.

We recap Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels. Angle was dominating the Royal Rumble when Shawn came in and eliminated him with a quick superkick. This wasn’t cool with Kurt and he wanted a one on one match with Shawn at Wrestlemania. You don’t have to ask Shawn twice about a chance to show off at the biggest show of the year.

Shawn Michaels vs. Kurt Angle

If this is anything less than a classic, it’s going to be a disappointment. They stare each other down to start until Shawn slaps her in the face. That earns him a takedown but Shawn makes it to the ropes. A headlock slows Kurt down and the fans seem to be on Angle’s side. Back up and Shawn takes him right back down into a headlock. A hiptoss takes Angle down again and we hit a short armscissors.

Angle comes up with the customary lifting counter but Shawn rolls into a sunset flip. Back to the headlock as they’re doing a nice job of recreating the Bret vs. Shawn story of Shawn wrestling technical when his opponents wouldn’t have expected him to go that route. A quick ankle lock attempt is countered and the Cactus Clothesline puts both guys outside.

Shawn is ticked off for some reason and loads up the announcers’ table, rolls inside to break the count (a forgotten move) and gets caught in an Angle Slam into the post. Well not really the Slam itself I don’t know how else you would call that. Kurt starts in on the back and puts on a body scissors. The fans are split as it’s time to trade some chops. Enough of that though as Kurt grabs a belly to belly and it’s time for a reverse chinlock with a knee in the back. Shawn fights up but slaps Angle for some reason, earning himself a big clothesline for two.

Kurt loads up a belly to belly superplex but gets shoved down instead. The top rope elbow misses though and Shawn crashes back first onto the mat. There go the straps but Kurt gets backdropped out to the floor and Shawn, always the crazy one, follows him out with a high cross body. Back up and the German suplex to the floor is teased again but as always, Kurt can’t quite pull it off. Mainly because of the whole death thing. Shawn kicks him low for the save instead and puts Angle on the table for a spinning splash from the apron, which DOESN’T break the table in a sick landing.

Both guys are very slow to get back in as you would expect but it’s Shawn with the forearm into the nipup to get the fans right back on his side. The elbow connects this time around but the superkick is countered into the ankle lock again. Shawn can’t roll out of it but he finally makes the rope. The Angle Slam is countered so Kurt grabs the ankle as a consolation prize. That counter is countered into a cradle for two but now the Slam connects for two.

In another awesome moment, Kurt puts the straps back up so he can pull them right back down, only to miss the moonsault. Might be time for a new strategy Kurt. Shawn loads up another elbow but this time Angle runs the ropes for a super Angle Slam. It still only gets two so Kurt yells at him, allowing Shawn to shove him away and nail Sweet Chin Music for another near fall. Both guys are very slow to get up and Shawn leaves his foot too close to Kurt, setting up the ankle lock with the grapevine for the (very) eventual tap at 27:27.

Rating: A. Outstanding match here with the athletic slugfest at its best. There’s something so great about two masters out there showing everything they could do. Shawn is at his best when he gives it everything he has but just isn’t good enough, though he would win the rematch later in the year. Great stuff here and I really don’t see anything else topping this tonight.

The guys get a well deserved standing ovation.

We get the full Basic Instinct trailer again with Stacy implying there’s something between herself and Trish.

Mae Young and Fabulous Moolah are here.

It’s time for Piper’s Pit with special guest Steve Austin. Piper thanks us for the Hall of Fame induction but wants to make some history. He’s been told that Austin is the toughest man in the WWE and he calls that bull. This brings out Austin, who Piper says is supposed to be some rebel. Piper slaps him in the face so Austin swears at him and slaps him right back. Piper: “I kind of like you!”

The WHAT chants get on Piper’s nerves quick but he learns how to talk at the right cadence. There’s a point Piper wants to differ on but the WHAT chants cut him off again. Piper says he was here when Wrestlemania didn’t have a number and was ticking Vince off when Austin was in diapers. For some reason JR thinks that’s quite the insult. Austin and James Dean have nothing on Piper when it comes to being a rebel.

It’s Austin’s turn now and he rips on Piper a bit, in time with the WHAT chants. Piper says this is failure to communicate and here’s Carlito if all people to interrupt. Carlito thinks these arguments are stupid because neither of them are cool enough for him (that’s and spitting apples at people are pretty much his entire gimmick). Austin invites him into the ring but Piper has no idea who Carlito is.

Carlito wants them both to leave and can we just get to the Stunners already? Piper steals the apple and spits some of it at Carlito. That earns him some left hands to the head as Austin just watches. Austin finally beats Carlito up, throws him to Piper for a thumb to the eye and gives him the Stunner. It’s time to drink for a good while until Austin finally Stuns Piper too. This went on WAY too long and I have no idea what they were going for but it completely missed. None of them looked like they wanted to be there and Carlito didn’t get anything out of it.

Backlash ad.

Here’s the full Taxi Driver trailer which was voted the best by the fans. The highlight is Batista turning it into a Who’s On First routine.

Akebono vs. Big Show

Why not have some sumo wrestling on the show? You win by pushing your opponent outside the circle or by knocking him off his feet. Akebono is a sumo champion and would become a full time professional wrestler in Japan soon after this. Cole and Tazz treat this as something serious but the fans clearly don’t care. After they go through all the rituals, Akebono wins with relative ease in 1:02. This really, really didn’t need to be here and was lost on the fans, which really isn’t surprising as it wasn’t exactly what they signed up for.

We recap John Cena vs. JBL which is entirely built around a culture clash. Cena won a #1 contenders tournament to earn this shot by beating Angle at No Way Out 2004. JBL is old school and rich while Cena is a brash, in your face rapper who wears throwback jerseys and hats. He had turned the US Title into a spinner belt so JBL helped his lackey Orlando Jordan take the title and then burned it (ok so JBL wasn’t all bad).

JBL got in Cena’s face and said the only way Cena’s family could pay the bills was to have his mama on her back all the time. Since they weren’t allowed to touch each other, Cena ruined JBL’s car, clothes and limousine to try to get JBL to punch him. Naturally this got Cena arrested and JBL hit him while he was defenseless. The build was good, but there’s no question that this is the second biggest match on the show.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. John Cena

JBL is defending and comes to the ring in a limo with a police escort. To make it even better, JBL dollars fall from the ceiling. I always liked the way JBL held the belt (clasped together but in his hand instead of around his waist). He even sends the Cabinet to the back so this is one on one. Feeling out process to start with Cena getting the better of it until he runs into a boot to the jaw to stagger him.

They trade shoulders with JBL getting the better of it by running Cena over. A big chop staggers Cena again and the champ chokes him on the middle rope. Cena’s comeback is stopped with a spinebuster and punching him in the head. A short arm clothesline (ala Jake Roberts) sets up a sleeper but Cena finally escapes with a belly to back suplex.

There’s a double clothesline to put both guys down again and it’s JBL up first. Cena takes a neckbreaker on the floor and a superplex keeps him in trouble but JBL can’t follow up. JBL eventually gets two and goes to the middle rope, diving right into a powerslam (not a scoop slam Cole) to give Cena an opening. The running shoulders and a hiptoss draw some trash talk and the fans are trying to wake up. The Shuffle connects and Cena ducks the Clothesline, setting up the FU for the pin and the title at 11:27.

Rating: D+. For what was supposed to be a changing of the guard, this was really boring stuff. JBL just could not do it in the ring again at this point and it was clear for months now. Cena winning the first title at Wrestlemania is a big deal and he did what he could but you need a better opponent. JBL had a long run and this was a pretty weak way to end it. Not that I expected anything else though. Their really violent rematch was MILES better and what this match should have been.

Cena celebrates in the crowd.

We look at last night’s Hall of Fame inductions, headlined by Piper and Hogan. They had to go in together.

Gene Okerlund introduces the Class of 2005: Nikolai Volkoff, Iron Sheik, Paul Orndorff (who points to Miss Jackie as she escorts him), Bob Orton, Jimmy Hart, Roddy Piper and Hulk Hogan. In other words: pretty much Wrestlemania I as a whole.

Wrestlemania XXII is in Chicago.

We recap the main event. Batista had been Evolution’s animal but he was slowly getting better and smarter. This scared HHH, who thought the whole thing was about him. He and Flair put together a plan to manipulate Batista into fighting JBL at Wrestlemania but Batista overheard them, leading to him beating HHH up. Now HHH has to fight the monster on his own and no one, including Cena, is hotter than Batista.

Raw World Title: Batista vs. HHH

Motorhead plays HHH to the ring and seem to forget the words as it’s a horrible rendition. HHH is also coming out first and rises up through the stage because his entrance needs to be much cooler than Batista’s. They circle each other to start and we get the big power lockup. HHH’s headlock doesn’t get him anywhere and Batista takes over with something like a powerslam.

The champ gets thrown into the corner for some right hands but HHH finally sends him out to the floor for a breather. Flair gets caught trying to sneak in a shot, which isn’t enough for an ejection but whatever. Back in and it’s time for choking and stomping, including some extra from Flair. HHH starts in on the back as this is kind of an awkward way to start. An elbow to the back clearly doesn’t make contact so HHH drops some knees instead. A backbreaker keeps up the focus and Flair gets in even more choking.

Some right hands stagger HHH but it’s a spinebuster (because that doesn’t weaken Batista’s spinebuster whatsoever) for a few two counts in a row. The Pedigree is broken up with a backdrop but HHH cuts him off AGAIN with a facebuster. HHH goes up top and dives into a clothesline followed by a side slam for two. That’s enough offense for now as Batista charges into a raised boot in the corner.

Batista comes right back with a hard whip to send HHH out to the floor but the champ sends him hard into the steps to regain control. The Pedigree onto the steps is countered into a slingshot into the post, drawing blood from HHH’s head. Back in and Batista goes after the cut with some big forearms before driving the shoulders in the corner.

The fans are trying to get behind Batista again but that HHH dominance killed a lot of the match. Flair tries a distraction so HHH can get a chair but the referee takes it away. Ric takes out the referee and tries a belt shot, only to walk into a spinebuster instead. HHH gets in the belt shot for two. Now the Batista spinebuster connects but a low blow stops the fans AGAIN. The Pedigree is blocked and Sheamus’ White Noise sets up the Batista Bomb to give us a new champion at 21:40.

Rating: C-. Screw off with HHH and his ridiculous ego. Batista won in the end but this was ALL about HHH and making sure he looked as strong as possible in defeat. The fans wanted to cheer here but it felt like every other HHH match in this era but with Batista finally surviving to win the title. The fifteen minutes of dominance here really hurt the match and that’s mainly because of HHH not letting Batista get in enough offense until the end. Couple that with HHH’s awesome entrance and this felt more like a farewell to HHH than the coronation of a new star.

Batista holds up the title to HHH and poses to take us to the highlight package.

Overall Rating: B. This is a very lopsided show as the last hour and a half is a BIG drop from the first two hours and fifteen minutes. The World Title matches just aren’t very good (much more boring than bad though) and some of the other stuff like Piper’s Pit and the sumo match was just plain awful. I’m really not sure what the point of the Pit was unless they were going for a rub for Carlito, but you would think that him beating Cena in his debut match in the fall would have accomplished that just fine.

On the other hand though, four of the five first matches range from good to excellent with only Trish vs. Christy (a four minute match with three gorgeous women) falling short. If you could cut out a good chunk of the last third, this is a MUCH stronger show and one of the better ones of all time. Considering that’s similar to what I said last year, it’s pretty easy to see that pushing four hours (or five last year) is too long for a wrestling show. Obviously you can’t expect everything to be great, but cut some of it down or improve it a lot. Still though, the really good more than outweighs the bad here and that’s always a positive.

Ratings Comparison

Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C+

2016 Redo: B

Money in the Bank

Original: A

2013 Redo: B+

2016 Redo: A-

Undertaker vs. Randy Orton

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C+

2016 Redo: B-

Christy Hemme vs. Trish Stratus

Original: F+

2013 Redo: F

2016 Redo: D

Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2016 Redo: A

Big Show vs. Akebono

Original: F

2013 Redo: N/A

2016 Redo: N/A

John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2016 Redo: D+

Batista vs. HHH

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2016 Redo: C-

Overall Rating

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2016 Redo: B

This show continues to be something that is better than all of its individual parts.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/29/history-of-wrestlemania-wrestlemania-21-best-ad-campaign-ever/

Here’s the 2013 Redo if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/30/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xxi-another-new-generation/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01D4D3EGQ

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Halloween Havoc 2000
Date: October 29, 2000
Location: MGM Grand Garden Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 7,582
Commentators: Stevie Ray, Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden

It’s at least a double main event tonight and you could argue a triple with Kronik vs. Goldberg, Sting vs. Jeff Jarrett and Booker T. defending the World Title against Scott Steiner. After that though the card falls off a cliff and hits every single rock on the way down. Let’s get to it.

We open with the fans being polled about the handicap match. Well to be fair that’s cheaper and safer than asking the announcers what they think.

The regular opening video focuses on how everyone needs to overcome their fears.

Tony: “This is sports entertainment!”

Tag Team Titles: Boogie Knights vs. Rey Mysterio/Kidman vs. Sean O’Haire/Mark Jindrak

O’Haire and Jindrak are defending after losing to both teams in recent weeks. The Thrillers come out second for no logical reason but I’m sure it’s supposed to draw money or humble them or something. The ring has the Backstage Assault (WCW video game sponsoring the show) logos in each corner. Konnan is on commentary as Alex, Mark and Kidman are in to start. I’ve always liked that three men in at once rule in WCW.

Kidman headscissors Mark down and hits a nice dropkick before it’s off to Rey, whose Bronco Buster hits a raised boot. Disco comes in and dances but Jindrak springboards in so high that Disco has to take a step back before Jindrak hits him. O’Haire throws Rey into the air for a powerslam (cool spot) so Disco helps double team him down, only to start fighting with Rey over the cover. Kidman comes in and elbows Disco instead of O’Haire, only to have Wright dropkick Kidman for two.

The fans stay on Disco as Wright knees Jindrak in the arm for two (well done camera guys). The yet to be named Tower of Doom freaks Stevie out as Wright is planted for a double two count. Konnan is already getting on my nerves with his Natural Born Cranberries line and we get a triple tag to bring in Rey, Disco and O’Haire. Everything breaks down and Kidman takes the double beal over the top from the floor.

O’Haire throws Rey over the top into a belly to belly from Wright for two. The Animals take over for a bit and Wright takes a Kid Crusher but the champs make a save. Wright runs into Rey and falls over the top anyway, leaving Disco to Last Dance Jindrak. Stevie sounds like he’s doing a JR impression for reasons that aren’t clear, only to have O’Haire hit the Seanton Bomb for the pin on Disco to retain.

Rating: B-. This was a lot of fun as they just let all six of them go nuts for ten minutes to fire up the crowd. I like the idea of a hot opener and given that they probably don’t have much left on the show worth much until the last three matches, this was a good choice to have early on the card.

Post match Wright beats down the Animals with a chair so Konnan comes in, drawing in Sgt. AWOL for the save for absolutely no logical reason. Konnan looks hurt and comes up limping.

Hardcore Title: Reno vs. Sgt. AWOL

AWOL is challenging so he sets up a table in between matches. Reno hits him with a kendo stick but takes a boot to the face (totally missed), only to flapjack AWOL through the table for two. Madden says old school hardcore rules are in effect: pinfalls count anywhere and anything goes. That would be different than the new rules of start in the back and end in the ring. So there are two eras for a title not even a year old?

A trashcan shot to the head gets two on AWOL as I have flashbacks to him being invincible just about a year ago. AWOL comes back by putting a trashcan over Reno’s head before kicking the can rather hard. Not the part with Reno inside of course because that might mean something looks good in this match.

AWOL and Stevie Ray do a Too Sweet for some reason before the guys walk up the aisle. A Roll of the Dice on the ramp knocks AWOL silly but let’s set up two tables instead of covering. As expected, AWOL gets up and throws Reno through both tables (or at least most of them). That’s not enough for a cover either so they head backstage with AWOL throwing a computer monitor at Reno’s head. Ignore the picture on the monitor that isn’t plugged in because this is OLD SCHOOL HARDCORE, meaning technology doesn’t have to make sense.

The champ blasts him with a fire extinguisher and throws AWOL through another table, only to have AWOL throw him onto another table. Madden makes jokes about the internet ruining wrestling as AWOL hits him with the monitor again. AWOL hits agent Fit Finlay and Madden gets in what sounds like an inside joke that makes no sense unless you were probably in catering that day. Back to ringside and AWOL loads up another table, only to walk into Roll of the Dice to retain Reno’s title.

Rating: D-. WAY too long here as I was begging for this to be over nearly halfway through. This gimmick is so beyond dead and now the match is getting nearly eleven minutes (third longest match of the night) on a card with ten other matches. Who is this supposed to appeal to? I hit you with some object, we do a table spot, repeat five times? That’s the best they’ve got?

Post match the Perfect Event comes out and beats on AWOL, drawing out Lieutenant Loco and Corporal Cajun to give us a very lame reaction.

Shane Douglas talks to the Thrillers and tells them that Nash has put him in charge of the team tonight. Nash can’t even show up on pay per views now?

Apparently Goldberg was injured when he hit the post on Thunder. He isn’t here yet but that’s commonplace in WCW.

Kronik talks to the Nevada State Wrestling Commission and mentions Goldberg having a head/neck injury.

Lieutenant Loco/Corporal Cajun vs. Perfect Event

This is an impromptu match but luckily the Thrillers were already in their gear. Why Loco and Cajun had to go to the back and come back out isn’t clear. Stasiak gets beaten down to start and you can see people getting out of their chairs. It’s also clear that the cameras aren’t panning over to the side because there are A LOT of empty seats that keep sneaking into view.

Things settle down to Stasiak beating on Loco before it’s off to Palumbo. The announcers argue over how together the Perfect Event is, despite the fact that they’re not even the best team in their own stable. Palumbo charges into Cajun’s raised boot as I have no idea why this match is taking place on pay per view. Was a ten match card really not enough? A double flapjack puts Loco down as Stevie thinks Madden called Loco “Chubby Toes.”

Stasiak gets two off a sitout powerbomb (Tony: “Out of the Coach Kevin Nash playbook!”) as the announcers talk about how many saves you’re allowed to make in tag team wrestling. Apparently there used to be a limit on that. You would think that some company like Ring of Honor might have brought that back over the years. Loco somehow spins out of a press slam and it’s off to Cajun with the hot tag.

Palumbo makes the save so Stasiak can get two and the fans are put right back in their seats. Well the fans that are still in the arena at least. A sleeper makes things even worse but Cajun fights out….and is put in another sleeper. Well Palumbo’s hand is over Cajun’s eyes so it’s more like a one man game of Peek-A-Boo. Cajun escapes again and runs him over for the tag to Loco but the fans aren’t bothering to get fired up this time. Everything breaks down and Loco gives Stasiak a quick tornado DDT for the pin.

Rating: C-. Well that happened. It was a watchable match that I’m going to forget about inside of the next ten minutes and really only served to further the “Stasiak is a screwup” story, which isn’t interesting in the first place because IT’S SHAWN STASIAK. You could have easily cut this from the show and given the time to other matches and given how fast the fans were leaving, there’s probably something to that idea.

Konnan is hurt but is willing to go fight anyway.

Torrie Wilson/Shane Douglas vs. Konnan/Tygress

You can see Stasiak and Palumbo leaving the ring as Shane’s entrance comes on. Torrie is in a Wonder Woman swimsuit and the announcers trip over each others tongues to oogle her. Before the match, Shane laughs at Konnan’s injuries and offers Tygress a chance to come out here and get beaten up. Or sexually assaulted if you pay attention to what he says.

Tygress fights on her own to start by kicking Shane low, setting up a HORRIBLE sequence between the women. Shane breaks up the Bronco Buster as the announcers talk about Torrie’s stockings. A double Franchiser is loaded up but Konnan comes in through the crowd for no apparent reason for the save. His back is fine enough to clothesline both of them down and we get a horrible looking double baseball slide as everything heads outside.

It settles down into a regular match and Tony freaks out when Tygress grabs a wristlock on Shane. Torrie tries to make a save and has no idea what to do (makes sense) so Shane takes over on Tygress to save himself. It’s off to Torrie for a really awkward looking run across the ring (with no complaints from the announcers), followed by a camel clutch from Shane.

Off to a crossface chickenwing with Shane putting her hand near his crotch (and shouting something about “make me feel good baby”) until Tygress escapes and crawls over for a hot tag to Konnan. Everything breaks down and Torrie pulls the referee into the path of a Bronco Buster for the comedy spot of the match. Torrie gives Konnan a decent Franchiser for two but the good team gives Shane a double facebuster for the pin.

Rating: D-. Other than Torrie in that outfit, this did not need to be on pay per view. This needed to be about five minutes shorter and on Nitro, mainly because I have no idea why this match even took place. Something about who is the best couple, but isn’t Tygress with Rey? They made it clear that this was all about looking at Torrie but there are other ways to do that without wasting over ten minutes of pay per view time.

Again the camera immediately cuts away to the next interview. What’s up with them wanting to get away from Tygress and Torrie so fast? Anyway David Flair and his doctors (they have stethoscopes and stuff) are ready to prove that Buff is a lying piece of garbage.

Buff Bagwell vs. David Flair

This is a DNA match and we’re still waiting on a definition of what that is. Madden: “Tony what are the rules of a DNA match?” Hey thanks Mark. It means First Blood, though I don’t think the fans have actually been told that otherwise. Before the match, Buff promises that he’ll win. You can add that to the long list of things that could have been cut from this show.

Buff punches David down to start and scores with a swinging neckbreaker. All Buff so far as this is a total squash since David still isn’t much of a wrestler. David does the Flair Flip in the corner but gets slammed down just like his daddy. Buff rips the shirt off and makes him do a double bicep pose, allowing David to kick him low for his first advantage. Outside they go but Buff can’t get a piledriver on the exposed concrete because that might kill him.

Your comment of the show that sums up how stupid this whole thing is: Tony: “David trying to bust Buff open and get a DNA sample!” Just imagine a non-fan hearing that one line and see how they react. Anyway they get back in and David tries a chair, only to get hit low and hit with the chair instead. David is busted open so the match is over but since the wrestlers don’t seem to know how the match works, Buff gives him a Blockbuster anyway.

Rating: D-. This was a squash and another match that didn’t need to be on a pay per view. The DNA story is interesting enough but does anyone really care about David Flair? Buff would be a better person in this role, especially since Ric has barely been a factor in it most of the time. At least we got to see David beat up his mailman though. That’s something right?

Post match Lex Luger of all people comes out to celebrate with Buff and turn on him a full two seconds later. Luger posts Buff and busts open his lip, allowing David to get a sample. Boy that’s convenient.

Goldberg, looking a bit shaky, arrives. Thank goodness they made sure to fix that cliffhanger that started half an hour ago.

Scott Steiner and Midajah aren’t worried about Goldberg. Steiner promises to win the title.

The Cat vs. Mike Sanders

This is a kickboxing match for the Commissionership with three rounds lasting two minutes each. Both guys get to run their mouths to start and still nothing of note is said. Palumbo and Stasiak (fine again) are in Sanders’ corner as Madden thinks this is a karate match. They feel each other out for a bit until Cat kicks him in the head for an eight count. A legsweep drops Sanders and they lock up with about ten seconds to go to end the round.

Cat beats on him with ease for a knockdown and Sanders barely beats the count. Another punch drops Mike again but the Perfect Event argues over whether or not to throw in the towel. Mike says throw it in but somehow beats the count to end the round. This has been completely one sided so far and Cat has barely broken a sweat.

Stasiak and Palumbo get in a fight during the break but here’s Shane Douglas for some reason. The referee is outside yelling at the Thrillers as Cat beats up Sanders even more. Cat gets in a good looking cartwheel kick and Sanders doesn’t want to get up. With Mike kind of on his feet, Cat hammers away even more. To his credit though, he’s able to shout “GET THE CHAIN MAN!” to Douglas, who knocks Cat out with a chain a few seconds later.

The slowest ten count ever (the referee is at five with twenty seconds left and gets to nine with three seconds left) allows the Cat to get up just in time and the match continues. Cat knocks Sanders out again but goes to the floor to fight Shane, giving Mike a countout win. In overtime. In a kickboxing match. To be a wrestling commissioner. Which he already was.

Rating: F. There’s a difference between this kind of stuff and the kind of stuff you would see under full Russo control. While that stuff was really more about shock value and being as stupid as possible, this was a match where you knew everything that was going to happen from the second Shane came out (save for maybe the stupid countout ending). It’s still really bad either way but at least this had some great facial expressions from Sanders. Of course this was horrible but it’s not like the two of them could have a much better wrestling match.

Goldberg talks to the wrestling commissioners and says he’s fine from Monday. The injury was on Wednesday’s show but it was taped on Monday so I’m not sure if I can call that a botch or not.

Kronik gives Goldberg until the end of the night because they get paid either way.

Mike Awesome vs. Vampiro

Add this to the list of things that doesn’t really need to be on pay per view. Not the match that is but Mike as That 70s Guy. This is over Awesome beating Vampiro down a few weeks back so Vampiro is here for revenge. Odd heel motivation but whatever. Vampiro wants to put Awesome’s title shot on the line as well. Now that’s more like a heel. Mike says groovy. Well actually he says that’s fine but he should have said groovy.

Vampiro is knocked to the floor to start and a big plancha takes him down again. That never stops looking awesome. The brawl heads into the crowd despite there being regular rules for this one. Vampiro grabs a cane from someone and beats on Awesome, only to have the guy hit Awesome, who beats him down as a result. Well that was a bad moment.

Back in and they duel with chairs like samurai warriors according to Tony. I’d love to meet Tony’s history teacher if he thinks samurai’s fought with folding metal chairs. Vampiro gets the better of it and takes over with a release belly to belly superplex that almost had a horrible landing. Back in and Vampiro tries a top rope seated senton but Mike seems to counter into a sitout powerbomb. Well I think so at least because it looked kind of like a counter and kind of like Awesome fell backwards. Mike covered for two so we’ll go with horribly executed counter.

Instead it’s time for a table and even Stevie thinks there’s something wrong with this. The Nail in the Coffin gets no cover so let’s bring in another table. Madden: “There’s always room for jello and there’s always room for another table.” I saw Ghostbusters II first so I smiled at that line more than I should have. They head outside for an Awesome Bomb on the floor…for two? Are we having a second match where they don’t know the rules? Vampiro is up fast enough to break up the Awesome Splash. Instead it’s a Super Awesome Bomb to give Mike the pin and give us that sweet 70s music.

Rating: D. They had something there with the big spots but that doesn’t really work if the spots don’t actually work. Awesome and Vampiro were trying but there’s only so much you can do when the match is barely looking like a match and turns more into a trainwreck. It also didn’t help that they beat up a fan in the crowd. You know that whole assault thing.

General Rection gives a fired up promo talking about how he’s lost so much over the last few months but he’s here for one more fight.

Vampiro is being checked on by the trainers and gets a round of applause when he sits up. Tony shows us a replay and calls it one of the most amazing spots you’ll ever see. Who in the world is going to care if you call it a move? As usual it comes off like WCW trying to make themselves look smarter and forgetting that a lot of fans don’t care.

US Title: General Rection vs. Lance Storm/Jim Duggan

Storm is defending in a handicap match and goes on a rant about how Rection won’t just accept that he’s been beaten. Duggan argues with the referee over who gets to keep the board before locking up with Rection and brawling around the ring. Rection clears the ring with clotheslines before no selling Storm’s chops in the corner.

There’s a backdrop to send Lance outside but Duggan knocks Rection outside as well to take over for the first time. Stevie: “Tony, why do they call her Major Gunns?” The bad guys take over with Duggan elbowing him down to give Storm two. A superkick gets another delayed near fall but Duggan’s Three Point Clothesline is turned into a double clothesline to put both guys down.

Storm slaps on a sleeper and Stevie actually compares it to the one from the Perfect Event match. Who would have thought Stevie would be the best analyst between Tony and Mar…..this isn’t all that surprising actually. Canadian miscommunication gives Rection an opening and he powerslams Storm for one.

Duggan hits his partner by mistake again before the referee drops down as Lance runs the ropes. He does it a second time and then we get the ref bump because we needed a ref bump. Duggan piledrives Rection for no count so here’s Elix Skipper, who is quickly taken down by a flag shot from Gunns. Back in and a Russian legsweep to Duggan with the 2×4 (clearly not making any contact) is enough to set up the No Laughing Matter to give Rection the title.

Rating: D. I appreciate them trying to keep Storm strong but was this really the best idea they could come up with? Rection isn’t really the most interesting guy in the world but at least it fits the story they’ve built up for months. In a good company this would free Storm up for a main event run but you know WCW isn’t bright enough to pull that off.

Mayhem ad centered entirely around Scott Steiner.

Jarrett is ready for Sting.

We recap Jarrett vs. Sting which is over Jarrett claiming Sting has no heart. For some reason this resulted in him dressing up as Sting and mimicking him, which only served to tick Sting off and set up a big fight here. On paper, this should be a layup.

Sting vs. Jeff Jarrett

Jeff goes around the ring running his mouth so Sting jumps him from behind to start things fast. They get inside with Sting hitting an atomic drop….and here comes Surfer Sting. The real Sting (Sting Prime?) beats him up as Madden wonders if you can get disqualified for beating yourself up. Fair question….I think? Sting and Jarrett fight by the stage and then into the crowd so here’s 1990 Sting to get beaten up as well. The real Sting gives him a Death Drop on the stage as Jarrett stands in the ring.

Back in and here’s Wolfpac Sting (possibly played by Chris Harris) as we skip eight years or so. For some reason Sting takes him up to the stage for some bat shots and another Death Drop. Jeff hits him in the neck/shoulder with the bat as the referee checks on Wolfpac Sting. Back in and Jeff puts on a sleeper, probably giving us the highlight of the match. Sting fights up and makes his comeback as Crow Sting breaks through the mat and pulls Sting under.

That earns Crow another beatdown but the lights go out and Crow Sting II repels from the ceiling. Sting gives him a Death Drop through the table to knock the wig off and reveal a bald spot. Back in and Sting puts on the Scorpion, only to have Crow Sting I hit him with the guitar. That’s no sold (why not at this point) and Crow I gets a Death Drop, followed by the guitar shot from Jeff for the pin.

Rating: T. For There it is. I had heard about how horrible this show was going to be. This match started roughly two hours in and while it was bad, there have been worse. Then there it was. There’s the big moment that turns this into horrible. WCW spent weeks building up a three match show and one of them involved Sting fighting the demons of his past because Jarrett apparently hired a bunch of guys to dress up like Sting and interfere at timed intervals.

Normally I would go into a big rant about why this is stupid but it’s up there with Mae Young giving birth to a hand or David Flair beating up a mailman on the list of things that speak for themselves. With WCW in the position they’re in, they have no business screwing over the fans on one of the only matches that was almost guaranteed to be well done. I mean, it wasn’t going to be a classic or anything but if you have Sting and Jarrett doing a mostly straight match, it’s going to be fine.

Instead of a match though, which is something the fans might be interested in based on how Russo’s TV ratings died over the summer, the company did some insane spectacle that might have made sense to three people in the building. The story of Sting needing to show heart is fine and Sting is the kind of guy who can pull that off but instead we get this mess with everyone being confused and annoyed. How this benefits anyone is beyond me but at least I have a reason to hate this show even more now.

Stevie Ray doesn’t help things here by talking about how Sting came up short after fighting off all those odds. As in an army of Sting clones is the same as Jimmy Hart distracting a referee.

Booker T. is ready for Steiner.

We recap Steiner vs. Booker T., which is basically Steiner going insane and attacking Booker.

WCW World Title: Booker T. vs. Scott Steiner

Steiner is challenging after beating Goldberg last month. Booker comes out first and Tony talks about the World Title not being on last tonight. Before he comes out, Steiner chokes an agent for the title match not going on last. I can get behind that. Booker gets the fans clapping to start things off so Steiner backs him into the corner and gets in an elbow to the jaw. Booker’s forearm sends Steiner out to the floor, allowing Scott to jump the barricade and yell at a fan.

Back in and Booker gets beaten down, only to come back with a clothesline for two. They head into the crowd because Steiner and Booker T. won’t wrestle for some reason. Steiner throws Booker through the second announcers’ table and chokes the referee for only counting to two. There’s the top rope Samoan drop to set up some push-ups but Booker leapfrogs over Scott to take it back outside. That goes nowhere so Booker starts with the kicks, including a missile dropkick and ax kick for two each. It’s time for the pipe though as Steiner beats down Booker and the referee, drawing the lame DQ.

Rating: D. The match wasn’t even that good before the lame ending which made things even worse. We’re 0-2 on the three main events and this was the best of them so far. There’s an idea here with Steiner being too hot headed to win the title but it would have helped if they had done a good match before getting here. Booker’s comeback was nice but they needed something better than this after all the other stuff they’ve done tonight.

Jeff Jarrett has to come out and help calm Steiner down.

We recap the main event which is basically Goldberg is dominant and Kronik are big and strong. Go have a four minute match to wrap up this pay per view.

Goldberg vs. Kronik

Before the match (because giving it more time would be stupid), Adams says Goldberg is too hurt to wrestle so the referee needs to count. We cut to the back where the Wrestling Commission guys announce that Goldberg is cleared. Goldberg’s music hits with six minutes left in the show and the bell rings with just over four to go. They brawl to the floor because this is nothing resembling a wrestling match. Kronik takes over but loads up a table, only to have Goldberg knock Adams away and spear Clark through the table for a pin. Adams gets two off a full nelson slam and it’s the spear and Jackhammer to keep Goldberg around.

Rating: F. That’s you main event people: Goldberg doing the same old thing he’s done for over three years now over a team who was losing the titles to Vampiro and Great Muta a few months back. There’s nothing to talk about here and the fact that this went on last due to some injury angle that started and ended in the same night sums up this horrible show.

Overall Rating: F. Oh yeah this failed and it failed bad. There’s a good opening match where they let the wrestlers go out and do something fun but the rest is one failed idea after another. However, the key word there is idea and that’s what keeps this show above some of Russo’s disasters: you can see the thinking behind a lot of these matches. Notice that I said thinking behind and not that they actually worked.

That’s the problem here: they were trying something in most of the matches and then each of those ideas came crashing down, mainly because the wrestlers just aren’t all that good these days. I mean, Cat and Sanders are good talkers for WCW but it’s really hard to watch them do something goofy when I can flip on Raw and watch Austin, Rock and Jericho talk to people and then tear the house down with almost anyone they get in the ring with.

WCW is in a bad place right now and so much of that is due to all the turmoil from the last few months. They’re in a better place with some storylines starting to make sense and some promising young talent but you can’t come off one of the worst stretches in wrestling history and then bounce back to life like nothing ever happened. The fans, at least the ones that are left, aren’t buying it and I can’t blame them.

Look at the build for this show. WCW made it clear that this was going to be a three match card with everything else filling in the gaps. Goldberg vs. Kronik would have been lame as a Thunder main event and it closed the show. Booker vs. Steiner was the most acceptable of the three despite it being nothing more than sequel bait. The less said about Sting vs. Jarrett the better.

If I’m one of the few fans still watching and paying for WCW, why in the world am I going to keep going after this show, save for pure habit? Three big matches were promised and the best one under delivered. If that’s the best they can do at this point then they can’t close the doors fast enough. The worst part for me though is that this was somehow still better than a lot of what Russo had done earlier in the year. Those lats summer and early fall shows really were that bad, though this was getting close to their level.

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Aside from XXXI of course.  The count-up starts March 3.

Fall Brawl 2000
Date: September 17, 2000
Location: HSBC Arena, Buffalo, New York
Attendance: 8,638
Commentators: Scott Hudson, Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden

This should be an interesting show as I can barely remember what’s going on with the card. However, I can remember that Vince Russo had a huge gimmick match built around him with a big SWERVE that no one (NO ONE) saw coming in a one off show. Other than that we have Kevin Nash defending against Booker T. in a cage, which certainly doesn’t feel like a step down after the big cage match about two weeks ago. Let’s get to it.

We open with a look at the double main event, as partially reenacted by action figures. Well that’s certainly different. I’m not sure it’s a good idea but it’s definitely a different one.

Cruiserweight Title: Kwee Wee vs. Elix Skipper

Kwee Wee is defending after winning a match a few weeks back, despite having no interaction with Skipper that I’ve seen in the ensuing shows. Skipper tries to dance with Gunns during the entrance as Hudson drools over her in the maple leaf top. Kwee Wee loads him up for a slam but drops Skipper face first instead in a unique move. An armbar has Skipper in trouble and a USA chant starts up. No wonder Buffalo sends the Bills to Toronto every once in awhile.

Back up and Skipper forearms Kwee Wee in the back of the head as we can see the ridiculous amount of glitter all over Gunns’ back. Skipper flips over Kwee Wee and gets two off a dragon suplex. Gunns plays cheerleader as Kwee Wee fights out of a chinlock, causing Madden to go on another tirade.

In one of the worst spots I’ve seen in a long time, Kwee Wee hits a cross body but Skipper stays on his feet and drops Kwee Wee out to the floor, only to get his balance and then fall out as well because he forgot to fall at the same time. Skipper makes up for it with a top rope Asai Moonsault which knocks out a cameraman for that always cool looking crash. Back in and Kwee Wee counters the Overdrive into a layout powerbomb for two of his own.

Cue the Thrillers, who really have no reason to be involved in this match. Skipper is thrown over the top and out to the floor with his knee crashing into the barricade. As the referee checks on him, Mike Sanders sneaks in and blasts Kwee Wee in the leg with a stick ball bat for no logical reason. Back in and a chop block sets up the Overdrive to retain Skipper’s title.

Rating: C. Illogical ending aside, this wasn’t the worst opener in the world. Kwee Wee is now a face just because, but someone with his charisma probably deserves to be in a higher spot on the card. Skipper is an athletic freak but there’s only so much of a character for him. Not much to see here though as the Cruiserweight Title has just died in recent months.

The announcers run down the card with Madden saying Goldberg vs. Steiner is going to go off like a prom dress. There is WAY too much emphasis on teenage sex in 2000 WCW.

3 Count vs. Misfits in Action

Cajun/Loco/A-Wall here. We get a little I Can’t Get You Out Of My Heart before the match, which I believe is a bonus. Hudson: “Helen Keller, big 3 Count fan.” Loco and Shannon get things going and this actually has potential. Loco chops him up against the ropes before grabbing a good looking wheelbarrow suplex. It’s off to Cajun for a flapjack on Karagias before it’s off to Wall, who presses Helms into a spinebuster (cool move) for two.

Karagias trips Cajun up though, allowing a fireman’s carry/neckbreaker combination to get two more as the heels take over. It’s Cajun as the face in peril with Shannon getting two off a Fameasser. A cross body/suplex gets the same and Evan drops a top rope elbow for another near fall. Shannon gets two off a top rope splash but misses another splash in the corner, allowing the hot tag off to Wall for some house cleaning.

Everything breaks down and Shannon takes Cajun out with a springboard flip dive. Karagias drops Loco and Cajun with a dive of his own but A-Wall breaks up a dive, only to get dropkicked through the table. Shane superkicks Evan by mistake and Shannon dives into a powerbomb for two. A double DDT gets two more on Loco but Wall makes the save, allowing Cajun to hit the Whiplash for the pin on Shane.

Rating: B. I know this really should be obvious but it’s amazing how much fun it is to watch a good wrestling match between talented guys. There’s no big angle here or some crazy story. Instead it’s just three heels and three heroes having a wrestling match and entertaining the fans. In other words, it’s the best thing this company has done in months. Just let the talented guys wrestle and it’s going to work.

Earlier today, Nash wouldn’t sign an autograph for a kid. Why this kid was backstage when the wrestlers arrived isn’t explained of course, but I’m thinking his parents should be punished for letting him see such a horror show.

There are more and more empty seats opposite the hard camera after every match. That’s sad to see. Understandable, but sad.

Harris Brothers vs. Kronik

It’s a chain match but Adams wants to make it first blood because Heaven forbid either team takes a fall. It’s a brawl to start (duh) with Adams working over Don inside. The guys are chained together here, which is probably better than watching them try to work a regular tag match. Everyone heads into the crowd as Tony asks how the referee is supposed to know who bleeds first. Well, he could watch on the big screen like most of the fans have to, but maybe he gets some special privilege because he works here.

Adams and Don come back to ringside with the latter going face first into the steps. Their partners are back a few seconds later, including Don screaming at some fans for some of the only heel action you’ll see around here. The referee gets bumped because A FIRST BLOOD CHAIN MATCH NEEDS A FREAKING REF BUMP.

Adams beats on Don (as the announcers change which Harris is with which Kronik guy, though it’s about as important as which Uso is which) and busts him open. Madden: “THAT’S GRAPE JUICE!” Hudson: “Did he get his period for Pete’s sake???” Ron gets the ball bat with a chain wrapped around it to bust Adams open as the referee wakes up, giving the Twins the win.

Rating: D. I’d like to emphasize that these four can’t even have a clean finish in a first blood chain match. Do you really need to protect one of the most dominant tag teams in years with two gimmicks in one match? It’s really that bad in WCW these days? Nothing to see here, but at least it was short.

Rection promises to win the title back for America today. This match is dedicated to Jim Duggan, who just happens to be here as guest enforcer. Just turn him heel already.

US Title: General Rection vs. Lance Storm

Storm is defending, Major Gunns is on the line as a bonus and Duggan is guest enforcer. Before the match, Storm says he’s so close yet so far from home. After tonight, everyone is welcome to join him in Ontario for Nitro tonight night. Duggan finally comes out and you can see the second shirt underneath his referee shirt so just get to the screwjob already so Tony can call it unthinkable.

Rection’s Samoan Drop gets no cover but Storm sends him into the corner for a breather. A nice superkick gets two for the champ and they head outside where Duggan mimes shooting Storm with the 2×4. Back in and Rection shrugs off the attacks on the knee before sending Storm flying off a German suplex. It’s time for No Laughing Matter but of course Duggan hits Rection with the board, setting up the Maple Leaf to retain the title.

Rating: D. Mike Tenay, Gene Okerlund, Miss Elizabeth and now Jim Duggan. In other words, take whatever characters have worked so well over the years and turn them all around because Vince Russo and company have decided that this is the way things really should go. Again, there was no shock here when you had Duggan as the guest enforcer for no logical reason and introduced him on Monday for the sake of this one match.

The Thrillers almost get in a fight with Gene (who did threaten to have “people” break O’Haire’s kneecaps) and promises to beat up something made of Cheese-Whiz.

Natural Born Thrillers vs. Filthy Animals/Paul Orndorff/Big Vito

It’s….uh….honestly I’m not sure who all is in this match. There are a bunch of people standing on the floor because the aprons are full. Konnan was too injured to wrestle on Thunder but he’s in the ring here while Stasiak is on the floor. Orndorff is a mystery partner to freak the Thrillers out in an idea that always works.

Jindrak slams Rey around to start as Hudson talks about Disqo costing the Animals the Tag Team Titles. I can’t think of a joke to cover up the fact that Thunder was non-title and the Animals have the title belts and were flashing them all over the place during the entrances. Hudson really is just that dumb. Juvy comes in and gets beaten down by Jindrak and O’Haire before it’s off to Disqo for the sake kind of beating. Konnan gets the tag and punches Sean a few times until O’Haire takes over again. We get some miscommunication from the Animals that leads to Disqo Stunning Konnan for the first elimination.

It’s off to Johnny the Bull vs. Disqo with Johnny jumping from the mat to the apron with no hands, only to miss a legdrop. Amazing athleticism but not the smartest guy. Disqo’s partners won’t tag in though, allowing Reno to Roll the Dice for the elimination. Vito comes in and Mafia Kicks Reno before hitting the Vito Special (spinning lifting DDT) for two on Palumbo.

We get back to Vito vs. Reno with the former grabbing the stick ball bat, only to get blasted with a kendo stick from the apron. Another Roll the Dice gets rid of Vito and we’re down to the full Thrillers vs. Orndorff/Juvy/Rey/Tygress. Ok so it was seven on seven? Tony: “It’s six on two! If you count Orndorff, six on three!” Well three Animals have been eliminated and the Animals are at full strength so the match started at six on six? Juvy and Reno are in now with the champ (yes Hudson, he’s still a champion) getting in a dropkick to take over. The Juvy Driver on Reno sets up the Nutcracker Sweet to get rid of Reno.

Jindrak/O’Haire get in to fight Rey/Juvy with the champs in trouble as Rey is sent outside. Juvy tries to dive on the Thrillers on the floor, only to get caught in midair and sent thrown back inside. The Seanton Bomb eliminates Juvy and the announcers say that Orndorff is left, despite Rey not being eliminated and Tygress getting on the apron. Orndorff finally comes in and cleans house until Johnny hits him in the back with the kendo stick. That goes nowhere though as Orndorff grabs the piledriver to get rid of Johnny.

Jindrak misses a charge in the corner and Orndorff drops Sean with a knee lift. Another piledriver plants Mark….and Orndorff isn’t moving. Sean gets a quick cover for the pin as we’ve clearly got an injury here. Tygress gives Jindrak a Bronco Buster as Orndorff hasn’t moved. Rey and Tygress beat up the Thrillers like the goons they are as Orndorff is at least moving his arms. The match is FINALLY thrown out because of Orndorff.

Rating: D+. The ending hut it a lot but at the same time I really had no idea who was in the match at any given time. The Thrillers cleaned house at times but it’s a bad sign when you forget who is still in the match and who isn’t. Orndorff was the highlight of the match as he knew how to get around the Thrillers because he trained them, even if the announcers never actually brought it up.

Orndorff is put in a neck brace as the show basically stops.

Kidman and Madusa call Torrie a lot of bad names and promise to send her and Shane flying off the scaffold. Madusa is WAY more fired up than she should be here.

Madusa/Kidman vs. Torrie Wilson/Shane Douglas

The scaffold is on the stage and rises up to save some time. Shane runs his mouth to fill in some time before hand, only to remind us of his promise to refund everyone’s money if his team loses. The rules here are you have to crawl across and get down the other side to win. Not send your opponents flying as everyone talked about, but just crawl across and climb down. Thankfully the scaffold is significantly wider than most instances with probably five to six feet from side to side. Tony to Madden: “Get your jokes out now so I can hype this up a bit.”

Shane and Kidman argue over how high the scaffold goes as you might expect them to do. The women fight at one end and for some reason Madusa doesn’t just bunch Torrie in the face and climb down to win. Instead Madusa goes after Shane and tries to kick him over the middle, only to be pulled into the STF. Kidman makes the save but gets powerslammed, allowing the women to go to different ends of the scaffold. Shane hits the Franchiser as Madusa’s leg gets caught in the ladder. Well of course she does.

Shane goes over and kicks her in the head for the crash onto the VERY soft pad to end this mess. Wait that’s not it? So you still have to climb down? What happens if everyone falls off? Does the match continue until they get out of traction and climb up and down again? Torrie hits Kidman low and Shane throws him down through another crash pad We’re STILL not done as they have to climb down to win. What a stupid set of rules.

Rating: F. What more do you want me to say here? They gave away the ending and the whole thing was on a scaffold. At least they had a setup where the fans could see what was going on, but this was so stupid on almost every level. It’s a bad gimmick that has worked all of once ever (maybe) and now we have this mess, which comes ten minutes after a legitimate injury.

The “match” goes on for about a minute and a half extra as they climb down.

Jeff Jarrett, in a Buffalo Bills jersey to tick off the local crowd, jumps Sting from behind because he’s getting the title shot on Nitro.

And now, a segment with Mike Tenay going to David Flair’s house for an interview. Tenay says he’s all alone, minus the cameraman and probably a producer of course. David’s house is a disaster with pizza, beer and newspapers everywhere. Tenay brings up the father of the baby so David freaks out because it might be his eleven year old brother Reid. That goes nowhere so Tenay suggests Ric, only to have David freak out and attack his mailman. Thankfully there was a cameraman waiting by David’s mailbox to see David put him in the Figure Four. David then runs down the street.

Vampiro vs. Great Muta vs. Sting

PLEASE let this be the grand finale. The Clowns take over commentary for what should be hilarious. Vampiro and Sting fight in the aisle until the Grand Poobah comes out to attack Chickenwing (oh yeah they’re on fire tonight). They head into the crowd for a bit with the Clowns switching between Gray Tuna and talking about Sting’s spandex pants. Shaggy: “The Winger was trained by a speckled belly octopus.”.

They get back inside with Muta standing around and watching as Sting beats on Vampiro. Some spinning kicks from Muta set up a top rope clothesline from Vampiro as the announcers want to see the patented Pickle Pinch. The moonsault gets two on Sting but the Clowns have to break up a fight between Muta and Vampiro. Sting cleans house with a ball bat (Hudson: “That’s clown abuse”) and Death Drops Muta for the pin.

Rating: F. Other than the commentary, this was another disaster as this feud has gone nowhere but just continues for whatever reason. Sting has no character at this point other than “he’s Sting” and that’s nowhere near enough for an old veteran who is supposed to be some kind of a big prize for Vampiro to beat. This was Muta’s last TV match and I don’t think he’s going to be missed. That’s not a knock on him as his in ring work has been fine enough, but sweet goodness this story has been horrible.

Sting saves Muta from a post match beatdown.

Earlier tonight, Mike Awesome offered to make whoopee (his words) with Pamela. Awesome’s surprise for Jarrett tonight: Gary Coleman.

Mike Awesome vs. Jeff Jarrett

Bunkhouse Brawl, meaning hardcore. Jarrett yells at some of the Buffalo Bills on his way to the ring where the weapons are already set up. Jeff rants about the Bills losing to the Titans last year in the NFL playoffs, which took place about nine months before this show. Now we get on to Awesome, who Jeff guarantees a beating. Hudson: “NOT WITH GARY COLEMAN YOU’RE NOT!”

Thankfully Awesome comes out in regular gear but somehow doesn’t see the professional wrestler in a football jersey coming after him. Mike chokes him with a noose so Jeff beats on him with a broom. A chair duel goes badly for Jarrett and Awesome blasts him over the back a few times. Hudson talks about making Mike the Career Killing 70s Fat Chick Thriller to put all three gimmicks in one. Back in and the Super Awesome Bomb is countered with a backdrop through a table as this is getting more and more like ECW every day.

Awesome whips him into the barbed wire board twice in a row and a pop up sitout powerbomb gets two on Jarrett. Of course he pops right back up and taunts the Bills even more, drawing them over the barricade to get on the apron. The Bills get in a few shots and the Awesome Bomb gets two. The referee FINALLY gets the Bills off the apron so the fans can see, only to have Gary Coleman run in to break up a guitar shot with a low blow. That earns Coleman a guitar shot but now Sting runs in for a Death Drop to give Awesome the pin.

Rating: D. It took the Buffalo Bills, Gary Coleman and Sting to allow Awesome to get the pin. This is the definition of a match where the writers just threw together whatever nonsense they could come up with and had fun instead of trying to entertain people. The thing makes sense (if you have enough hard booze handy) but it’s WAY overdone to accomplish anything. At least Awesome won though.

We recap Scott Steiner vs. Goldberg which started when Goldberg walked out on the match at New Blood Rising, only to have Steiner beat up Goldberg’s girlfriend. None of this was mentioned for the two weeks before the match because the story stopped mattering once the match was set up, as is so often the case around here.

Steiner shouts that he’ll win.

Goldberg vs. Scott Steiner

No DQ of course. Steiner puts on a black mask and stalls a bit at the bell. Back in and Goldberg scores with a flying shoulder, followed by a gorilla press into a powerslam for two. It’s time to start the heavy brawling as the announcers say this has been going for five minutes (we’re approaching two). Back in and Goldberg runs him over again but the banged up arm slows Goldberg down.

The spear mostly hits the buckle but he’s still able to catch Steiner diving off the top in a powerslam, complete with a pause where Goldberg pulls him out of the air before slamming him. Cue the returning Midajah with a pipe but Steiner is fine enough to tie Goldberg in the Tree of Woe for some chairs to the ribs. The bloody Goldberg is thrown down with a suplex as Hudson can’t remember what Goldberg did to put Midajah through a table. As in he can’t remember THE ONE MOVE that Goldberg uses to finish people.

The pipe is knocked away with a spear but here’s Russo to break up the Jackhammer with a baseball bat shot. Steiner slams Goldberg through a table and Russo celebrates like he did it himself. There’s the Recliner but Goldberg does the slow crawl to the ropes, even though there was almost no pull on the hold.

An electric chair really breaks the hold but Midajah and Russo hit Goldberg with their objects, setting up a belly to belly superplex from Steiner. Back to the Recliner and the thing looks SO bad with Steiner really just putting his hands on Goldberg’s chin and not touching the arms. That swinging neckbreaker puts Scott down but he hits Goldberg with the pipe and puts the Recliner on for the third time for the knockout.

Rating: B-. This was fun (horrible finishing move aside) and it kept Goldberg looking strong while also making Steiner look like the killer they needed him to be. It was all about two guys beating the heck out of each other for about thirteen minutes, though I really could have gone without Russo being in there to screw things up, though to be fair it’s his company and vanity project at this point so it’s understandable.

The villains celebrate and Russo takes his shirt off to really make it special.

We recap Booker vs. Nash, with the latter turning heel to steal the title, which he decided he wanted for a change. Russo rigged things and decided that HIS Kevin Nash was going to take the title. The evil plan actually worked and tonight it’s the rematch inside a cage.

Booker says he’s here for revenge because if you don’t start none, there won’t be none.

WCW World Title: Booker T. vs. Kevin Nash

Nash is defending inside a regular cage. Madden asks if it’s harder to win a title the first time or get it back. Hudson: “I’ve never held a World Championship.” Given that it’s Hudson, I take that to mean he’s won at least six of them. Booker goes after the arm to start without any real success as the announcers talk about switching from the big cage to the regular version. That’s really not something you hear very often. Nash clotheslines him down as we’re told that Orndorff has a stinger but he’s talking and has feeling in all limbs.

A turnbuckle gets ripped off but Booker slams him down to take over again. The Bookend is broken up though and Nash plants him with a chokeslam for a delayed two. Booker sends the champ face first into the exposed buckle to draw some blood, followed by the missile dropkick getting two more. A low blow puts Booker down and there’s the big boot to the face. The Jackknife is broken up and the Bookend gives Booker the title back.

Rating: D. This is the definition of “well that happened.” There was zero need for this to be in the cage as it didn’t change anything and felt like a dark match instead of something that you needed to see. Booker getting the title back is fine and the pin was clean so it’s much better than some insane fall that takes a million angles to achieve. Not a good match or anything close to one, but a good result.

Overall Rating: C-. The key to this show is simple: they’re slowing down on some things and not having a million angles in every match. The main event was clean, a lot of the midcard stuff was clean and most of the interference made sense. That’s the big difference here: you don’t want to have interference for the sake of interference because it takes away from the moments where it’s needed. Goldberg vs. Steiner for instance had interference that made sense and it was more effective as a result.

However, there’s still a lot wrong here. There are WAY too many gimmick matches or matches where the gimmicks take away from what’s going on otherwise. For instance, look at the elimination tag. Did you really need to have EVERYONE in there or could it have been cut down to say, four on four? The biggest thing that WCW can’t understand is that sometimes, less is more. It’s ok to have a wrestling match for the sake of having a wrestling match and to just let it go where it goes without five plot devices along the way.

Overall, this is the best pay per view they’ve done in a long time because they’re getting closer to having a balance between the insanity and an actual show. The show is still far from actually good, but at least they’re not making me spend an hour going on about how horrible the show was or how it broke the rules of wrestling. Somehow, that’s a major step forward for them, which is really sad to think about.

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Royal Rumble 2000
Date: January 23, 2000
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 19,231
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

After sitting through 1998 and 1999, this is my reward. What we have here might be the best Rumble show of them all with one of the best matches ever and a great Rumble on top of it. 2000 is the best in ring year the company ever had and this was a great way to kick that year off. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Cactus Jack challenging HHH for the world title in a street fight. This is that “one of the best matches ever” that I was talking about. The idea is simple: Cactus wants the title back and he’s facing HHH in a street fight, which means HHH is in WAY over his head. We’re in Foley’s hometown in Foley’s match with Foley’s most hardcore character. How can this not be a masterpiece?

Kurt Angle vs. ???

Angle is undefeated at this point. Kurt says he’s a real winner here, unlike the New York Knicks. This is goofy Kurt, which means he’s hilarious. He says that the mystery opponent must be scared to come face him, but the opponent needs to take a deep breath, come out here, and face Angle like a man. The self-help thing here is hilarious. The fans chant WE WANT TAZ….and here he is!

Kurt Angle vs. Tazz

Tazz pounds away on Angle and hits a HUGE backdrop to send him to the floor. Angle escapes a suplex in the aisle (painted like a street with a big cab hanging above the entrance, which looks like an alley. It’s really cool) and takes over. Back in and Kurt hits a forearm for two and chokes away in the corner. A belly to belly puts Tazz down but Angle goes up and gets crotched. Tazz hits a super Tazplex for two before getting rolled up for two. Angle gets two more off a bridging German before walking into a release German from Tazz. We unleash the suplexes on Kurt before the Tazmission ends Angle’s undefeated streak.

Rating: C+. This was short, but to say it was an effective debut is an understatement. The place ERUPTED when Tazz won which is exactly the point of the opening match. See, this is what you call LISTENING to the audience. WWF knew they had to appeal to the ECW fans and what better way than to have Tazz debut here? Today, Tazz would be in some comedy match and would likely lose, because Heaven forbid that the fans get what they want in one city for one night.

Angle does a stretcher job.

We go to the Hardys in the back and get a clip of them and the Dudleys putting each other through tables. Terri, the Hardys’ manager here, is told to stay in the back. She would be gone from the team soon, thank goodness.

Tazz says Angle is just the first victim.

Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz

I believe match #1 or #2 in a series of roughly 8000 and it’s an elimination tables match. Bubba praises John Rocker of the Braves who had recently gone on a massive anti-New York rant in Sports Illustrated. The Hardys hit the ring and the match starts fast with Bubba hitting the Bubba Bomb on Jeff. No tags here thank goodness. Bubba sets up a table in the ring but before he can get another one, Jeff takes him out with a HUGE flip dive.

Jeff gets sent into the steps as Matt escapes a powerbomb through the table. D-Von suplexes Matt as Jeff CRACKS Bubba in the head with a chair. In a SICK spot, Jeff tries to run the railing but Bubba throws the table at Jeff, knocking him out of the air. That sounded GREAT. The pairings trade off and Bubba loads up the backsplash through the table, only for Jeff to come back and try a double superplex. D-Von moves the table but doesn’t stop the suplex.

Matt brings in a ladder because this might as well be a TLC style match. We head to the floor where the ladder is set up in front of a table with Bubba on it. Matt dives through Bubba through the table just as Jeff dives in from off camera with a splash, sending Bubba through the table in another awesome looking spot. So it’s 2-1 now with Jeff leaning a table up against the barricade. The steps are set up on their end and a table is set up like a bridge between the steps and the apron.

D-Von is placed on the bridged table but moves before Matt dives through him. He moves AGAIN to avoid a diving Jeff, sending him through the leaning table. Cool sequence there by Ninja D-Von. Apparently Bubba doesn’t have to leave. Ok that makes things more interesting. The Dudleys set up two steps in the ring and put a table across them before hitting a HUGE powerbomb on Matt to eliminate (in a sense) him. The tables are LOUD tonight too. Jeff gets beaten into the aisle but Matt quickly follows, only to get WHACKED in the head with a chair.

The Dudleys stack up four tables in front of the entrance (it’s the MSG setup where the entrance is opposite the cameras). Matt gets put on the tables and Jeff is CRACKED in the head again to break up the save attempt. Bubba climbs onto the taxi over the aisle to splash Matt, but remember that wouldn’t win the match. Jeff climbs up after him (I’m not sure where D-Von went) and blasts him with a chair, knocking him through two of the tables (still doesn’t win). Matt puts D-Von on the table and Jeff dives off the taxi with the Swanton through D-Von through the table for the win.

Rating: B+. This was AWESOME with all four guys being young and hungry here. The Dudleys were out to prove themselves and the Hardys were out to show they could hang in a fight. They had already proven they could fight in a violent match like the ladder match, but this was a brawl instead of a high flying match. REALLY fun stuff here though and well worth a look if you haven’t seen it. The Dudleys would get the titles next month, setting up the first triangle ladder match at Mania.

Angle gets a concussion test and complains that being choked out is illegal.

It’s time for the Miss Rumble Bikini contest with Sgt. Slaughter, Tony Garea, Moolah, Johnny V, FREDDY FREAKING BLASSIE and Andy Richter from Late Night with Conan O’Brien as judges. Jerry gets to emcee of course. The contestants are Ivory, Terri, Kat, Jackie, BB (You shouldn’t remember her) and Luna. The idea here is that Kat legitimately took her top off (full exposure too, the only intentional female nudity in WWF history) at Armageddon and more nudity was promised here.

Ivory doesn’t want to do it but eventually does. Terri does her usual skin colored one which we’ve seen before. Lawler freaks out over her bending over the ropes. Jackie…no one cares. BB isn’t bad but again, the whole point of this is for Kat to win. Luna won’t show. Kat is in a bikini made of bubble wrap. Creative if nothing else. The judges start tallying their scores but here’s Mae Young to enter as well. She takes off her robe, and THERE is the nudity (it was fake). Mae wins to complete the joke. Lawler’s reaction of “OH MY GOD I SAW THEM” is priceless. Mark Henry comes in to save our collective retinas.

The recently hired Coach doesn’t have much to say from WWF New York.

Chyna and Jericho, the co-IC Champions, argue over who gets to wear the belt to the ring. There was a double pin in a title match and they became co-champions as a result, which is a pretty creative idea.

Angle says he’s still undefeated. Rock would pin him on Smackdown a few weeks later.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Chyna vs. Hardcore Holly

You know Jericho is fired up to be in MSG. He talks about how awesome his championship celebration will be, as it will make the millennium celebration look like his sister’s seventh birthday party. Holly piefaces Chyna down to start before getting in a slap fight with Jericho. Chyna gets sent to the floor for the Slaughter fall, leaving the blondes to fight for a bit. Holly hits that perfect dropkick of his but Jericho comes back with the forearm.

They slug it out until Holly tries a rana (huh?), only to get caught in the Walls. Chyna makes the save, basically turning heel at the same time. Chyna sends Holly to the floor and gets drilled by Jericho. Holly and Chyna go to the floor where Jericho tries a dive but slips and only hits Holly. Back in and there’s the handspring elbow and DDT from Chyna to the Canadian for two. Everyone heads to the floor where Jericho saves Chyna from a chair shot. Back in and both champions go up for a kind of double splash for two.

They both tried for a cover and a fight breaks out as a result. Chyna escapes a belly to back suplex and hits Jericho low, followed by a Pedigree for two on Holly. Chyna goes up but gets caught in a modified Doomsday Device (cross body instead of a clothesline) for a very close two. That probably should have been the finish. Now Jericho loads up a superplex but gets crotched for his efforts. Holly gets superplexed by Chyna but gets two on her off the bounce. Chyna chairs Holly in the head and puts on the Walls, only to have Jericho break it up and hit the Lionsault for the undisputed title and a BIG pop.

Rating: C+. This was pretty good and too short to get bad. It could have been on Raw but see, back in 2000, there was this crazy idea of finishing angles on PPV. I know that’s insane now and everything ends in a big match on Raw or rather just stops happening one day, but back in the old days, they ended like this. Match was fine.

Rock is worried about two and only two men in the Rumble: Crash Holly and Headbanger Mosh. Cole (minus facial hair) suggests maybe Rock should be worried about, say, Big Show. Rock says go make a glass of shut up juice (not one of his better catchphrases) and tells Big Show he doesn’t care what he thinks. He guarantees to win the Rumble right here in New York City and the place eats it up. I want one of those jerseys he’s wearing.

Jericho says he said he’d win and he’ll lead the Jerichoholics like a pied piper.

Tag Titles: Acolytes vs. New Age Outlaws

The Outlaws are defending and there’s a backstory that doesn’t deserve to be listed. Who would have thought that THIRTEEN YEARS LATER the Outlaws would be on house shows for the WWE again? The Outlaws are heels here but they’re over like free beer in a frat house here in New York. The APA storms the ring and the beating is on quickly. Bradshaw and Billy officially get us started with Billy taking a fast beating. Both guys tag as the referee is adjusting his ear piece.

Faarooq imitates Dogg’s dance before getting double teamed a bit. Bradshaw breaks up the shaky knee drop and everything breaks down. The Clothesline kills Billy and there’s the spinebuster to Roadie….but Billy pulls the referee out. The ref is bumped and Road Dogg is hit with a double powerbomb. X-Pac runs in and kicks Bradshaw’s head off. The Fameasser to the future JBL retains the titles in like two and a half minutes. This had to be cut for time. The Outlaws would lose the titles to the Dudleys next month and that would be the end of the team.

Dogg rhymes about keeping the titles.

We recap HHH vs. Cactus Jack. HHH won the title the night after Summerslam from Mankind via cheating. Big Show got the title at Survivor Series but lost it back to HHH in January. Mankind stood up to the newly formed McMahon-Helmsley Era and got beaten down for his efforts. Foley got fired and we had a fake Mankind get humiliated. Rock then said that every single wrestler would walk out and form the Rock Wrestling Federation if Foley wasn’t rehired. See how different storylines could be back then? Mankind got HHH to agree to a street fight at the Rumble but got beaten up for his efforts.

This led to an AWESOME promo on Smackdown, where Mankind said he wasn’t ready to face HHH in a street fight, but he knew someone who did. He took off his mask and ripped open his shirt to reveal Cactus Jack, scaring HHH to death. These two, as in Cactus Jack and HHH, had fought in 1997 in the match that basically brought hardcore to the WWF and they did it in MSG, with Cactus winning clean. This was an excellent story and there was a VERY real feeling that Cactus could pull this off, because HHH was in WAY over his head. Check out the build to this match as it’s some of the best stuff you’ll EVER see.

WWF World Title: Cactus Jack vs. HHH

Street fight. It should also be noted that Foley lost about 30 pounds inside of a month and a half and is by far the slimmest you’ll ever see him look here. HHH does the long slow walk to the ring which makes things feel even more epic. Stephanie heads to the back which is probably a good thing. Dang I miss that big title. It’s SO much better looking than the stupid spinner version. Even now when it doesn’t spin it doesn’t look like something special but rather something like a toy. The belt on HHH looks classy.

Cactus looks like and animal and HHH looks terrified. Jack wins a quick slugout and pounds HHH down into the corner. We head to the floor for a swinging neckbreaker on HHH and a legdrop onto the apron knocks the Game back to the floor. HHH is rammed into various metal objects but comes back with a bell shot to take over. NOW we get to the fun part as the first chair is brought in.

Back in and Jack charges right into a chair shot like an idiot. Granted for him, that’s playing the character right. HHH goes to unhook the buckle instead of covering for some reason and Jack pops up to clothesline the champ down. There’s a legdrop onto a chair onto HHH’s head for two and we head outside again. HHH gets backdropped into the crowd and the beating begins again. JR: “They’re out in the sea of humanity.” Jerry: “Humanity? JR we’re in New York.”

HHH gets rammed into something made of metal that we can’t see and they head into the aisle. Cactus sets up a wooden pallet and suplexes HHH onto it before screaming in his face. This isn’t falls count anywhere mind you. There’s a trashcan to the head and HHH gets rammed into the steel doors. The fans chant for Foley as he gets suplexed onto the trashcan. The crowd is just RUTHLESS against HHH here as they head back to the ring. The aisle is really short so it’s not a long walk.

Jack rams a knee into HHH’s head to drive it into the steps and it’s back inside now. This is almost all Jack so far. There’s the 2×4 in barbed wire but HHH hits him low to get the board away. Some shots to Cactus’ ribs and back have him in trouble and HHH looks at the board as if to say “did I just do that?” Cactus blocks a shot to the head and hits HHH in the balls with the board. The double arm DDT puts HHH down as the referee takes the board out of the ring, drawing the loudest booing of the ngiht.

Cactus wants the board back and beats up the Spanish announce team who the board was left with. He gets a board (clearly not the same one but that’s likely for safety reasons) and after the referee is crushed, HHH gets hit in the forehead with the wire. The board is driven into HHH’s forehead and he’s busted something fierce now. The referee is back up now and we get the most famous spot of the match with Jack ripping the wire across HHH’s cut to make him scream.

Cactus tries to piledrive HHH through the announce table (same thing he won the 97 match with) but HHH counters with a backdrop. JR: “The champion is bleeding like a horse.” When does a horse bleed? HHH is bleeding from his leg which is a rare sight to see. The place LOUDLY cheers for Foley and we head back inside. The Pedigree is countered into a slingshot into the post and a bulldog on the wire gets two.

HHH has a spot called to him about the steps before the Cactus Clothesline takes them both to the floor. Cactus charges but gets hiptossed into the steps, banging his knee in the process. You know a Flair disciple like HHH knows how to work on a knee. Back inside and HHH clips him down before picking up the barbed wire for another shot to the knee. HHH pulls out some handcuffs in a flashback to last year.

Cactus fights back and hits HHH in the head with the cuffs in a smart move. The cuffs are locked up a few seconds later though and HHH starts pounding away. The steps are brought in but Foley comes out of nowhere with a drop toehold to send HHH face first into the steel. A low blow keeps HHH down and Cactus bites away. HHH gets back up and grabs a chair which he literally BREAKS over the back of Cactus. They head outside again and Cactus takes some shots to the head from the chair.

Cactus says hit me again but before HHH can crush the skull, Rock pops out of nowhere and blasts HHH in the head with a chair of his own. A cop comes in and unlocks the cuffs, freeing Cactus. HHH starts backpedaling fast but gets caught on the Spanish Announce Table. The piledriver hits this time but the table DOESN’T BREAK.

We haven’t gotten violent enough yet, so here’s a bag of thumbtacks. Stephanie comes out (complete with snakeskin choker in a nod to Cactus) and HHH comes back with a backdrop onto the tacks. There’s the Pedigree but Cactus kicks out at two to blow the roof off the place. It doesn’t last long though as a Pedigree ONTO THE TACKS finally ends Cactus.

Overall Rating: A+. FREAKING OW MAN! If there’s a match that made a guy into a legitimate force better than this one made HHH, I’d love to see it. This was an absolute war with both guys destroying each other for about 27 minutes. The place never gave up on Foley and it’s easily one of his best matches ever. This is one of the best brawls ever and yet again it’s well worth checking out.

HHH is taken out on a stretcher but Cactus pulls him back into the arena. There’s a barbed wire shot to the head and the place cheers like crazy for Mick some more.

Linda is at WWF New York to talk about HHH’s title reign. Wait no she’s not. She would NEVER be involved with something involving bloodshed. And Stephanie is oh so precious and does SO much work for charity don’t you know.

Royal Rumble

The intervals are “two minutes or less” according to the Fink. We get a quick look at Shawn’s miracle save in 95 which would play a role in the coming weeks. D’Lo Brown is #1 and Grandmaster Sexay is #2. Feeling out process to start with Sexay countering Brown’s running powerbomb into a rana. A middle rope missile dropkick puts Brown down and Mosh, complete with cones on his chest, is #3.

Kai En Tai, two guys ticked off about not being in the Rumble, runs in and are immediately thrown out. Nothing else happens for a minute or so until Christian (with his AWESOME solo theme called Blood Brother. Look it up) is #4. Nothing happens again so here’s Rikishi to a POP at #5. Mosh, Christian and Brown are quickly dispatched, leaving Grandmaster and Rikishi.

Scotty 2 Hotty is #6 to complete the trio…..and it’s time to DANCE! The place absolutely loses it over this until Rikishi clotheslines and eliminates them both. Note that it is NOT a heel turn and just business, which Too Cool is ok with. Rikishi dances a bit more on his own and the place is still erupting.

The company took notice of those eruptions too, and the three of them wound up feuding with the Radicalz for the next four months or so, resulting in Too Cool getting the tag titles and Rikishi getting the IC Title. In other words, they were given a stupid gimmick, got it over, and were rewarded. Today, you get to lose the US Title to Jack Swagger and become a jobber to the stars if you get yourselves over. As I typed that, Steve Blackman came in at #7 and was eliminated.

Viscera is #8 and you know New York loves itself a fat boy battle. Big Visc rams into him a few times but misses a charge and three straight superkicks put him him. Big Boss Man is #9 and won’t get in, drawing some good heel heat. He stays out on the floor until Test is #10. Test pounds away on Boss Man to finally get all three guys in there. Boss Man hits Test low but Rikishi hits Test low to put both guys down.

British Bulldog is #11 as things slow down a bit. There’s a low blow for Rikishi as well and Bulldog tries to get him out until Gangrel is #12. Kai En Tai comes out again and Taka is thrown over the top into a 360, landing face first on the floor. FREAKING OW MAN. This would be played multiple times over the rest of the match, much to Lawler’s amusement. Edge (starting to mean something and over in New York) is #13.

Boss Man takes a Banzai Drop and Bob freaking Backlund is #14. He comes out to Hail to the Chief as he’s legitimately running for Congress in Connecticut at this point. You would think that would have been a tip for Linda’s future but alas no. Everyone goes after Rikishi and dumps him out to get us to the second part of the match. To recap, we’ve got Boss Man, Bulldog, Test, Gangrel, Backlund and Edge in there at the moment. Jericho is #15 to his third or fourth big pop of the night.

Jericho goes right for Edge in a match that would be for the world title eventually. That doesn’t last long though as Jericho dumps Backlund, who yells at some fans before leaving. Actually he goes into the crowd to look for Connecticut registered voters. For a guy as bland as he was back in the day, Crazy Backlund is one of the best performances I’ve ever seen.

Crash is #16 and gets a double spanking from Edge and Bulldog. Ok then. Edge is sent to the apron by Bulldog so he punches the British Boy in the balls. Chyna is #17 in the far less remembered Rumble appearance. She goes right for Jericho and suplexes him out in about 30 seconds but gets knocked out by Boss Man almost immediately. Faarooq is #18 and here’s the Mean Street Posse who is also out of the Rumble. Those three and Kai En Tai were all thrown out of the Rumble on Heat so five more guys could be added in.

Anyway Faarooq is quickly dumped and Road Dogg is #19. The crowd does his entrance for him but he runs right into a low blow. The fans want Puppies, a term Road Dogg invented. Crash survives an elimination and Al Snow is #20. Roadie throws out the Bulldog and Val Venis is #21. Funaki runs in on his own and is thrown out almost immediately again. Prince Albert (Tensai) is #22 and there goes Edge.

The ring is getting too full now with Boss Man, Test, Gangrel, Crash, Road Dogg, Snow, Venis and Albert. Dogg continues his strategy: hide in the corner and wrap all four limbs around the bottom rope. I’ve heard worse ideas. Hardcore Holly is #23 and we’re getting down to almost only big names left. Crash gets knocked to the apron but gets back in AGAIN.

Now we get to the final part of the match as The Rock is #24 to bring everyone to their feet. Boss Man is the first victim, being eliminated by a spit punch. Venis and Test double team him but Rock hangs on in the corner. He beats up Hardcore for a bit as Billy Gunn is #25. He goes right for Rocky but since no one believes Billy Gunn is going to eliminate Rock, the Great One throws out Crash to give himself something to do instead. Dogg has shifted over to another corner now.

Big Show, Rock’s opponent for this match, is #26. Rocky pounds on him immediately but Albert sticks his fat head in Rock’s business. Show dumps Gangrel and Test before going to stomp on Rocky. Bradshaw is #27 and is out in about 30 seconds at the hands of the Outlaws and the Mean Street Posse. Kane is #28 complete with the still sexy Tori. Venis gets thrown out almost immediately and Show stupidly gorilla presses Gunn down instead of out. Kane knocks Albert out as Godfather is #29. The Ho’s are especially good looking tonight.

Funaki comes out for the fourth time. JR: “For the love of Pete.” Jerry: “No that’s Funaki.” X-Pac is #30 which was announced in advance. The final group is Road Dogg, Al Snow, Hardcore Holly, Rock, Gunn, Show, Kane, Godfather and X-Pac. Snow dumps Holly and Show puts Godfather out. Rock dumps Snow to get us to six. Billy dumps a talking too much Roadie just before getting dumped by Show.

We’ve got X-Pac, Kane, Big Show and Rock as the final four. I’ve seen far worse. Rock throws out X-Pac but the referee is with Kane who is fighting the Outlaws on the floor. Pac gets back in and the guys pair off. Show sends Rock into Kane for a big boot as the giants choke each other. Pac kicks Rock down and Kane hits a pretty good enziguri and an even better slam on Big Show. Pac kicks Kane out and a Bronco Buster on Big Show.

Rock dumps X-Pac and we’re down to two. The spinebuster sets up the Elbow but since IT’S JUST A FREAKING ELBOW DROP, Show gets up and chokeslams Rock down. Show takes WAY too much time though and Rock holds onto the top rope, sending Big Show out to go to Wrestlemania. Awesome ending to an awesome match.

Rating: A. AWESOME Rumble here with the absolute right ending. This was the Rock’s Rumble and there was no other person who should have won it. The only part that was a little dull here was the middle but it’s certainly not bad. This followed the three part structure as all great Rumbles do and as usual, it worked like a charm. Great Rumble and one that might have a claim to best ever.

Rock says he’s going to Wrestlemania when Big Show comes in and knocks him to the floor. Show stands in the ring as Rock leaves to end the show.

Overall Rating: A+. This is one of the best shows the WWF has ever put on. Period. There isn’t a bad match on the whole card, the crowd is ON FIRE all night and you have two excellent matches to round out the show. I can’t imagine anything in the next 12 years surpassing this one and I can’t recommend it highly enough. Outstanding show.

Ratings Comparison

Tazz vs. Kurt Angle

Original: A-

Redo: C+

Hardy Boyz vs. Dudley Boyz

Original: A

Redo: B+

Chris Jericho vs. Chyna vs. Hardcore Holly

Original: C

Redo: C+

New Age Outlaws vs. Acolytes

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

HHH vs. Cactus Jack

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Royal Rumble

Original: A-

Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: A

Redo: A

Still great and still the best Rumble ever.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/19/royal-rumble-count-up-2000-match-of-the-decade-maybe-yeah/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble 1998
Date: January 18, 1998
Location: San Jose Arena, San Jose, California
Attendance: 18,542
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the year of Austin and for once, the WWF is looking good going forward as the debcale that was the main event of Starrcade has caused WCW to hit a brick wall. The main event tonight is Shawn defending the title against Taker because he didn’t want to face Owen Hart, the most logical opponent. Also there’s the Rumble, which is obvious of a winner as there’s been in years, but in this case that’s ok. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about the two main matches as you would expect. The rest of the card doesn’t mean much anyway.

Mike Tyson is in a skybox.

 

Vader vs. The Artist Formerly Known As Goldust

 

This is during Goldie’s midlife crisis/PAY ATTENTION TO ME phase. These two had a great match at Clash of the Champions so maybe this won’t suck. Goldust jumps him as Jerry is glad the gold one is in men’s clothing again. Vader shrugs off the shots to the back and chases Goldust to the floor. Vader rams him into Luna as we hear about Austin not being here yet. Goldust is sent into the steps as Vader keeps control.

 

Back in and Luna trips Vader up, finally allowing Goldie to get in a clothesline. Another clothesline puts him down and Goldust works on the leg a bit. Goldie drops a middle rope elbow to the ribs and we head back to the floor. Vader is sent into the steps so Luna can choke him a bit before we head back in. Goldust pounds away again but stops to kiss Vader. I may not be a pro wrestler, but I know better than to kiss a guy called the Rocky Mountain Monster.

 

Vader kills him with a clothesline and suplexes Goldust down before getting two off a splash. Vader loads up the Vader Bomb but a low blow stops him cold. Another clothesline puts Goldie down again and Vader sits on his chest. He loads up the Bomb again and despite Luna jumping in his back, Vader drops it anyway and crushes Goldust for the pin.

 

Rating: D. The place popped for the ending which did look cool, but other than that this was a messed up match. Goldust in this gimmick didn’t really work because at the end of the day, he’s still boring old Dustin Rhodes working the same standard style. It’s not horrible but it’s not a good choice to have on a PPV.

 

Austin gets here and tells Cole to park his truck. Southern Justice (the heel Godwinns) follow him, presumably to jump him.

 

Max Mini/Mosaic/Nova vs. Battalion/El Torito/Tarantula

 

Minis here with Sunny as the referee. Max Mini (more famous as Mascarita Sagrada) is by far the most famous of these guys as he’s about 4 and a half feet tall but can move around very quickly. Nova and Tarantula start things off with Tarantula (on the heel team) being way bigger. Nova takes him down with some headscissors before it’s quickly off to Batallion (military themed guy) vs. Max. Max armdrags him to the floor which brings in Torito, meaning we’re in lucha rules (meaning sending someone to the floor means another member of your team can come in without an actual tag).

 

Torito can actually get his head over the top rope, meaning he’s just under the size of Rey Mysterio. Mosaic comes in and gets caught in a gorilla press and a release flapjack. A second flapjack attempt is caught in a wrist drag to send Torito to the floor and it’s off to Tarantula. That goes nowhere so here’s Battalion again. The fast tags continue as here’s Nova vs. Torito already.

 

They both hit the floor so Mosaic speeds things up against Battalion again. Mosaic spins him around again a few times before it’s back to Mini vs. Tarantula. Max gets caught in a spinebuster but goes up top almost immediately for a delayed rana. Max sends him to the floor and Tarantula backs off. Back in and Torito hits a Mafia kick to the back of Max’s head and a chop puts him down again.

 

For no apparent reason Sunny picks Max up so he can dropkick the villains. I can only assume Sunny is there to give the fans anything to care about. Mosaic and Battalion go to the floor as does Torito so Max can hit his big dive. The others dive on them as well and it’s a big pile on the floor. Back in Max rolls up Torito for the pin.

 

Rating: C. I’m going with a C because I have no idea what else to go with. I don’t know who these people are, I have no idea why I should care, and I might have seen these guys twice other than this (aside from Max). These matches are really hard to get into because there’s nothing to them. Much like a lot of the luchador matches in WCW had the same issue: why should I care about these people?

 

The Nation goes to attack Austin but only find an Austin foam finger.

 

The McMahons are in Tyson’s sky box.

 

We recap Shamrock vs. Rock. Shamrock has charged through the Nation to get this shot at the unofficial leader of the team. Mark Henry joined the Nation to save Rock from Shamrock less than a week ago.

 

The Nation argues over which of them will win the Rumble. Rock says the fans of course want to know what he thinks of Clinton and Paula Jones, so he tells the President not to lie down with dogs or you might get fleas. This joke would be done way better over the next few weeks.

 

Intercontinental Title: The Rock vs. Ken Shamrock

 

Rock is defending of course. Feeling out process to start with Rocky trying to get a cheap shot in the corner. Both guys shove the other into the corner and Shamrock blocks a shot to the face before hitting one of his own. They run the ropes a bit until Shamrock kicks him in the chest and knocks the champion out to the floor. Back in and Rock pounds away a bit before hitting a corner clothesline. Ken comes back with some clotheslines of his own but the standing clothesline is countered into a hot shot for two.

 

They’re trying to get out of first gear here but it’s really not working that well. The champ pounds on him in the corner and but gets caught in a fisherman’s suplex for two. Back to the floor with Shamrock going into the steps and then back into the ring. The spinning DDT gets two for Rock and it’s off to the chinlock. Rock tries the spinning DDT again but gets caught in a northern lights suplex for two instead.

 

Shamrock pounds away some more and gets two off a powerslam. The Nation comes out and sneaks Rocky some knuckles whick go upside Ken’s head for two. Rock hides said knuckles in Shamrock’s trunks, just before getting belly to bellied for the pin and the title. Keep that in mind of course.

 

Rating: D+. Rock would get better, but at the end of the day this didn’t work that well. It was mainly punching with both guys trying to throw in a move here or there. This feud never quite worked as well as they were shooting for I don’t think and with Rocky holding the title forever, it didn’t do Shamrock much good either.

 

Post match the referee finds the knuckles and reverses the decision. The referee is beaten up very badly for his efforts.

 

A Coliseum Video Exclusive from “moments later” show a clean and dry Shamrock in jeans attacking the Rock.

 

Los Boricuas attack someone that they think is Austin but find one of the Disciples of Apocalypse. Brawling ensues.

 

We recap the LOD vs. the Outlaws, which is old school vs. new with the Outlaws defending the titles. The Outlaws put a big old beating on the LOD and tonight is their return.

 

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Legion of Doom

 

The Outlaws make fun of the 49ers who lost in the NFC Title game recently to the Packers. The LOD says that Animal’s back is fine and they’re putting the Outlaws on ice tonight. The Outlaws jump the challengers which goes badly in a hurry, as Animal powerbombs the Dogg. The champions try to walk out but get thrown back in so we can start with Hawk (who had one mohawk shaved off earlier in this feud) vs. Roadie.

 

Off to Animal as Road Dogg’s mouth is bleeding. The pounding continues so here’s Hawk for his one wrestling move in the neckbreaker. Gunn gets the tag and Hawk hits a freaking Lou Thesz Press of all things so he can pound away some more. Animal powerslams both Outlaws down and it’s off to a reverse chinlock on Gunn. Hawk comes in for his second surprise move of the match in an STF.

 

That goes nowhere so it’s back to Animal, who is tripped up by Roadie. They head outside where Animal is sent into the steps to finally switch the momentum. Hawk gets double teamed in the ring but clotheslines both Outlaws down (Animal is still legal) but charges into the post. Dogg finds some handcuffs and attaches Hawk to the post, making it a handicap match. Animal makes a comeback with a double clothesline, but Dogg hits him with a chair for the DQ.

 

Rating: D. So with an injury AND his partner tied up on the floor, Animal STILL couldn’t lay down for a pin? Seriously? This match sucked and would have been just slightly better on Raw with less time. The LOD was nothing at this point while the Outlaws were finally starting to turn some heads. Until this point though, they were two jobbers with the titles who kept escaping with them. Brighter days were coming.

The Outlaws destroy Animal until Hawk snaps the handcuffs to make the save.

Some fan wins the Austin truck.

We recap the build up to the Rumble. Basically, everyone knows Austin is going to win and EVERYONE else in the Rumble is trying to stop him but not one has been able to slow him down at all. The only difference here: the fans were eating this stuff up with a spoon.

Royal Rumble

Cactus Jack is #1 and Chainsaw Charlie (Terry Funk) is #2. The intervals are supposed to be two minutes again this year but they would wind up being closer to 90 seconds. Terry brings his chainsaw into the ring so Cactus throws in a bunch of chairs. The referee finally gets the saw out and they pound on each other with chairs. Cactus hits Funk in the head with one, then hands the chair to Funk so he can return the favor. These two aren’t exactly normal if you didn’t catch that.

Tom Brandi is #3 and lasts about ten seconds. Terry punches Jack down but can’t piledrive him on a chair. Cactus suplexes him through two chairs but can’t put him out. Rock is #4 and both hardcore guys are down. Rock pounds on Terry in the corner but Cactus blasts him with a trashcan and the double beating begins. Cactus puts the can over Rock’s head and they pound away on him, knocking him through through ropes and out to the floor. Funk hits Cactus low as Mosh is #5.

Mosh and Funk pair off as do the other two guys. Funk (the announcers are calling him that too) tries a moonsault but it winds up being more of a headbutt than a splash. Phineas Godwinn is #6 and helps Rock beat up Mosh. Not much happens for a bit until 8-Ball of the DOA is #7. Jack misses a charge and Funk backdrops him out to empty the ring out a bit. Apparently someone who might have been Ken Shamrock has attacked Austin.

Funk barely hangs onto the rope to avoid elimination until Blackjack Bradshaw (yes that Bradshaw) is #8 and looking as muscular as you’ll ever see him look. We talk about Mike Tyson while things slow down a bit until Owen Hart is #9. Jeff Jarrett, the NWA North American Champion at the time in a strange invasion angle, attacks Owen on his way in. Yeah this is what Owen gets for not bolting to WCW after the Montreal Screwjob. Yes I know he was under contract but you know Vince couldn’t hold him to it in that situation. Hart can’t get in the ring yet.

Steve Blackman is #10 and he has a hairy chest. 8-Ball piledrives Funk as there are way too many guys in the ring right now. Since people seem content to just tease eliminations on the ropes, no one is eliminated until D’Lo Brown is #11. Rock DESTROYS Blackman in the corner before getting in a fight with his Nation teammate D’Lo. Kurrgan, still a psycho monster at this point, is #12.

Thankfully he gets rid of some people like Mosh and….that’s about it for now. Dang it clear the ring out a little bit already. You’re a monster Kurrgan. Go destroy some villager. Marc Mero is #13, giving us a pop for Sable. Mero pounds away on Blackman in the corner but Kurrgan dumps Steve. Bradshaw pounds on Kurrgan as Rock teases not stomping his teammate before kicking away.

Ken Shamrock is #14 and he immediately kicks Kurrgan down. A big gang takes out Kurrgan as Rock hits the People’s Elbow (not yet named) on Funk. Thrasher is #15, giving us Funk, Rock, Phineas, 8-Ball, Bradshaw, Owen (not in the ring), Brown, Mero, Shamrock and Thrasher, or as they’re collectively known, WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE. Still nothing happens and Mankind is #16, confusing the announcers and immediately punching Funk out.

Shamrock finally gets his hands on the Rock as Mero asks Sable for praise. Goldust is #17 in a silver bodysuit with a thong painted on. A minute or so later he puts out Mankind but there are still way too many people out there. Jeff Jarrett is #18 and Owen runs in to beat him down. A spinwheel kick puts Jeff down, followed by Owen skinning the cat and dumping Jeff. Honky Tonk Man is #19 as HHH (on crutches) and Chyna come to the ring. Rock dumps Shamrock to complete Ken’s humilation tonight.

HHH gets on the apron and cracks Owen with his crutch to knock Hart out as well. Ahmed Johnson is #20, looking as bored as I can remember a wrestler looking in a long time. WAY too many people in the ring again. Mark Henry of the Nation is #21 and JR says Henry is “handling the big Johnson.” There’s no #22 which was supposed to be Skull, but he was jumped earlier remember.

Johnson is dumped out and he still doesn’t look like he cares. He would be gone next month anyway. Phineas is out after a ridiculous 28 minutes. On top of being in too long, he accidentally kicks a referee in the head on the way down, giving him a legit concussion. Kama Mustafa is #23 to give the Nation four members at the moment. We’re just waiting for Austin at this point.

FINALLY the glass shatters at #24 and the roof goes off the place. Austin comes in through the crowd because he’s got ten people waiting on him as he comes in. There go Mero and 8-Ball and things slow down AGAIN, because we need at least ten people in the match at all times for some reason. Henry Godwinn is #25 and nothing happens. Savio Vega is #26, but since we STILL don’t have enough people in the ring at the moment, he brings in the other three Boricuas to beat on Austin.

Thankfully Austin beats them out quickly but doesn’t eliminate anyone. Faarooq is #27 to give us the entire Nation in the ring. He goes right for the other Nation members though as his face turn continues. Not that anyone cares mind you but he is indeed turning. Austin and Rock tumble through the ropes through the floor to brawl a bit because that’s what those two guys do.

Dude Love is #28 to complete the running joke of the match. He immediately puts out Bradshaw as Goldust is on the floor but not eliminated. You can’t see most of the mat because of how many people are in the ring at the moment. Austin pounds on Rock even more with Rock falling to the floor again. Chainz of DOA is #29 as Faarooq puts Brown out. More brawling ensues until Vader completes the field at #30. This gives us a final group of….hang on I need a breath first…..Rock, Thrasher, Goldust, Honky Tonk Man, Mark Henry, Kama, Austin, Henry Godwinn, Vega, Faarooq, Dude Love, Chainz and Vader, or THIRTEEN PEOPLE.

Vader immediately pounds on Goldust and dumps Honky a few seconds later. Austin dumps Thrasher after an insanely too long 28 minutes. Austin puts out Kama to finally clear the ring out a bit. There goes Vega at Austin’s hands as well before Goldust dumps Vader. Godwinn goes out as well before Faarooq puts out Henry. We’re down to Rock, Austin, Love and Faarooq as Chainz was put out by Austin off camera.

The Nation members are thrown together and Rock gets hit by Sweet Shin Music and the double arm DDT. Austin hits Dude low and Faarooq throws Love out. Rock puts out Faarooq to give us Austin vs. Rock. They slug it out and Rock is thrown to the apron. Austin is fine with Stunning him and throwing him out to go on to Wrestlemania where he would claim his destiny.

Rating: D+. Austin was awesome as he always was in 1998, but the rest of this match pretty much sucked. As I said over and over, there were way too many people in there for the most part. Also you had WAY too many people getting time they didn’t deserve. I mean did anyone need to see Phineas, 8-Ball, Bradshaw, D’Lo Brown and Thrasher all getting over 28 minutes? Not much to see here other than Austin and Foley’s funny bit.

Tyson celebrates “Cole Stone” Steve Austin winning the Rumble.

We recap Shawn vs. Undertaker. Basically they feuded extensively in the fall but then after Montreal, Shawn didn’t want to face Owen for a fear of him trying to legit hurt him. Therefore they rehashed Undertaker vs. Shawn for the title here in a casket match. Most of the video here is about the first Cell match, which is still amazing stuff. Oh and one more thing: DX (still just three people at this point) attacked Taker on Raw but Kane had saved his brother, uniting with him for the first time ever. That was six days ago, and remember that a certain Vince Russo is booking.

WWF World Title: Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

Like I said, Shawn is defending and this is a casket match. Taker throwing the lights back on makes Shawn jump out of the ring. It’s a brawl to start and Taker immediately grabs Shawn by the throat. Shawn punches his way out of it but jumps into another choke by Taker. An attempt at putting Michaels in the casket doesn’t work, but a backdrop that put Michaels out of action for four and a half years by slamming his spine onto the casket does work.

Shawn slowly gets up and is kicked into the casket but he immediately bounces out. We head back in with Taker missing an elbow but hitting Old School. Shawn gets whipped into the corner for the Flair Flip to the floor, which is probably the last move he needed to do at this point. Back in and Shawn dives into a powerslam but Taker still can’t slam the lid shut. Shawn comes out throwing powder and manages to get a breather. Taker is sent knees first into the steps and Shawn smashes the challenger’s back with the steps.

A piledriver on the steps actually works for Shawn but he’s got a broken back and can’t follow up. HHH whacks Taker with the crutch (where is Owen if he’s so angry?) as Shawn stays in full control. Back in and a jumping back elbow puts Taker down but he fights out of the casket. Shawn neckbreakers Taker before putting on a sleeper which is eventually countered into a Saito Suplex.

The forearm from Shawn sets up the nipup which sets up the top rope elbow. He must be either high as a kite on painkillers or on a huge adrenaline rush to be able to have a match like this at this point. The superkick knocks Taker out cold but Shawn is Shawn and stops for a crotch chop. Taker grabs him by the balls and we head back inside for the beating Shawn deserves. Another Flair Flip sets up the big boot, but Taker misses a clothesline and lands in the casket.

Shawn drops an elbow into the casket, closing the lid on both guys. Cool spot actually. Shawn crawls out but in a semi famous shot, Taker pulls him back into the casket, closing it with both guys inside again. Back in and Undertaker hits one of the biggest chokeslams he’s ever hit followed by a JUMPING TOMBSTONE into the casket. The Outlaws and the Boricuas run in as we reenact Royal Rumble 1994, but here comes Kane to save the day. By save the day, naturally I mean turn on Undertaker and shut him in the casket to keep the title on Shawn and end the match.

Rating: B. Considering Shawn’s back was literally broken in half during the match, this is a pretty awesome fight. When Taker gets ticked off and wants to hurt somebody, he can lay a beating out like few others in the world. Shawn struggling through a match in this condition is nothing short of great, and the fact that he survived Wrestlemania like this as well is perhaps the greatest physical accomplishment of all time.

Post match Kane nails the casket shut and hacks at it with an ax. He pours gasoline inside and LIGHTS IT ON FIRE to end the show. Taker of course would disappear from the casket once it was opened up.

Overall Rating: D. Good main event aside, this was a REALLY dull show overall. 1998 would wind up being an awesome year, but this wasn’t the best start to it in the world. We saw a lot of the relics of the bad times here, but Austin was coming and there was absolutely nothing WCW could do to stop him. This wasn’t a good show at all, but it was a necessary evil to get us to the glory days.

Ratings Comparison

Vader vs. The Artist Formerly Known As Goldust

Original: B-

Redo: D

Max Mini/Mosaic/Nova vs. Battalion/El Torito/Tarantula

Original: B-

Redo: C

The Rock vs. Ken Shamrock

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Legion of Doom vs. New Age Outlaws

Original: D+

Redo: D

Royal Rumble

Original: D+

Redo: D

Shawn Michaels vs. Undertaker

Original: B

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D

….what in the world was I on back then?

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/18/royal-rumble-count-up-1998-austin-isnt-a-lock-to-win-please-believe-us/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

New Blood Rising
Date: August 13, 2000
Location: Pacific Coliseum, Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Attendance: 6,614
Commentators: Scott Hudson, Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden

I’m really not sure what to say about this one. It’s borderline legendary in how horrible it is due to the levels of Russo pumped into it with one match in particular. I’ve seen this show a few times before and every time I watch it I can’t believe what I’m seeing. There’s no way around this so let’s get to it.

First and foremost: is there a reason this show is named after the New Blood when they haven’t been a thing in about a month at least?

As I load this up on the Network, I keep expecting some warning to pop up telling me it’s not worth it.

The opening video shows Jeff Jarrett breaking a bunch of guitars over various people. Then we cover the real main event of Goldberg vs. Kevin Nash vs. Scott Steiner in what is being teased as a shoot. As opposed to all the other matches which are worked shoots you see. This one is going to be a REAL shoot.

In an odd camera shot, we see the New Blood Rising logo in the corner of the arena but it’s quickly covered by pyro from one of the ring corners. Who shoots from there?

3 Count vs. Jung Dragons

This is a double ladder match for 3 Count’s recording contract as well as their gold record. Tank Abbott is with 3 Count and has a shirt with the nipple areas cut out for no apparent reason. So 3 Count wants the record because it’s theirs and the Dragons want the contract so 3 Count can never record again. I’m not even going to try to make sense out of this mess. Oh and you have to tag in a ladder match.

Jamie and Shane get things going but everyone realizes that this is a ladder match so they sprint up to the entrance to make this interesting. Shannon makes a quick save on Yang as Tony thinks he’s going for the gold record because the ladder is hung underneath it. Ignore the fact that the contract is on top of the record so he’s under both of them. Yang gets crotched on a ladder in the corner as the fans are way more quiet than they should be for a six man ladder match.

Shannon splashes Yang and covers for a second because no one understands the rules of this mess. Three straight splashes crush Yang against a ladder in the corner as Scott asks the stupid question of what label is on the contract. Yang gets up again, only to be down onto the top rope. This hasn’t been his night so far.

3 Count goes outside so Jamie can hit a huge dive for a good reaction. We get a second ladder so Shannon can pull Yang off with a sleeper drop. Shane neckbreakers Jamie off as well, leaving Evan to suplex Kaz down to put all six on the mat in a heap. Yang gets a ladder superkicked into his face but the Dragons come back with a pair of spinwheel kicks to get one of their only advantages.

Kaz charges into a powerslam on the ladder as Evan seems to have a bad ankle. Shannon does a springboard over the top to catapult the end of the ladder into Jamie and Shane’s faces. That always looks sick. Shannon is thrown back in and gets splashed by two Dragons, allowing Jamie to grab the gold record. Not that it matters as Tank knocks him out and steals it back, earning himself some homophobic chants.

Evan gets crushed between a ladder as Tony yells at Madden for not understanding the logic behind this match. Jamie powerbombs Shannon off the ladder but Tank shoves over both ladders to take out a member of each team. Evan climbs up and gets the contract for the win (I guess?).

Rating: B. Enjoy this one people because it’s the last good match you’re going to see for about two hours. These six guys would give the fans everything they could and then be asked to do it again week after week because WCW didn’t care about any of them. I know Russo’s mantra continued to be about pushing the young guys, but giving them the same matches over and over again without letting them get anywhere isn’t a push. Still though, fun stuff here, even if it was nothing compared to what Edge and Christian and company were doing at the time.

Tank leaves with the record and the contract.

The Filthy Animals want to referee the Tag Team Title match. As in four referees in an eight man match. On top of that, they want a shot tomorrow night. Rey promises to make sure Cat beats Great Muta as an incentive.

Great Muta vs. The Cat

Cat talks some trash and hits Muta in the head with the mic to get things going. Some kicks set up a dancing elbow (I love Rock but good night I wish the People’s Elbow wasn’t copied so much) but Muta grabs the arm as Hudson talks about the “legitimate heat” between these two. Tony goes on about how lame “the marquee says wrestling” line is as the fans want Bret. Cat fires off some strikes but is mesmerized by the power of Muta’s bald spot, allowing Muta to kick him back down.

Cue Tygress (fans: “WE WANT PUPPIES!”) as Cat kicks Muta out to the floor. Back in and they hit each other a few more times until Muta snaps off a dragon screw leg whip to take over. Muta misses the moonsault but sprays green mist at Cat. This isn’t a DQ for whatever reason, allowing Tygress to hit Muta with a chair for two. Instead Cat fires off a bunch of kicks for the pin.

Rating: D-. Standard Nitro match here (yeah a D- is pretty standard these days) with Cat showing why he should almost never be in the ring. He’s a great talker but that doesn’t mean he’s anything more than a guy who kicks a lot. Muta continues to look bored and I still don’t know why they brought him back in.

So we’re just under half an hour into the show and it’s been quite watchable to this point. That’s about to fall apart.

Buff Bagwell can’t find his mom.

Buff Bagwell vs. Positively Kanyon

This is Judy Bagwell on a pole, which means Kanyon drives her in on a forklift. See because she’s a bit overweight. For reasons that I’ll never understand, Kanyon wanted Judy to be his Kimberly. Kanyon calls her a battleax a few times until Buff finally figures out that his mom is on a freaking forklift in the arena.

Buff runs out to throw Kanyon over the barricade to start the fight in the crowd. I’m assuming you win by pin here but I doubt Russo ever got past “so we put her on a forklift.” They get back to the ring for the opening bell and Kanyon grabs a middle rope Russian legsweep for two. Kanyon cuts off the turnbuckle pad because this doesn’t have enough going on yet.

Buff jumps into a sitout Alabama slam for two and we hit the chinlock. The Kanyon Cutter is broken up and Buff drops him forehead first onto the exposed buckle for two. Now the Kanyon Cutter connects for two…..and here’s David Arquette, who hits Buff with a hard hat for two. A double Blockbuster is enough for the pin on Kanyon, winning Judy back for Buff…..I think?

Rating: F. The match itself was watchable at times but they brought David Arquette back for a two minute cameo. This was like watching a movie with a gorilla in a top hat and tails standing in the corner doing nothing. Judy on the forklift was such a distraction and really didn’t change anything, making the match a combination of boring and WHAT AM I WATCHING. In other words, the Russo Special.

Arquette gets a Kanyon Cutter post match.

Lance Storm arrives with a police escort. You would expect Storm to arrive on time.

Goldberg isn’t here due to a motorcycle accident. And so it begins.

Tag Team Titles: Kronik vs. Perfect Event vs. Misfits in Action vs. Sean O’Haire/Mark Jindrak

Kronik is defending, Rection and Cajun are representing the Misfits and the Filthy Animals (as in Mysterio/Disqo/Tygress/Juvy are ALL guest referees). Konnan sits in on commentary to give us a ridiculous thirteen people involved with one match. Before the match Disqo threatens everyone, saying he has the authority to have them wrestling polar bears in Nome, Alaska if they step out of line.

Palumbo and Adams start things off as Disqo is the in ring referee. Chuck is quickly sent to the floor so it’s off to Stasiak, who walks into a full nelson slam. Cajun vs. Jindrak now with Mark taking over via some technical stomping as the fans loudly chant…..something. O’Haire comes in to punch Clark, followed by a nice spinning kick to the head for two. A hard slam drops O’Haire but Disqo counts slow.

Rection comes in and gets a slow count as well as there are far too many empty seats opposite the hard camera. Tygress gives Rection a Bronco Buster but the General raises his boot to block Rey’s attempt. We get the Sting falling headbutt/low blow spot on Stasiak before it’s back to Cajun for the dancing punches. That means another slow count as the announcers have no idea whose side the Animals are on.

Rection comes in and starts cleaning house as everything breaks down. Palumbo’s great right hands stagger Rection and it’s off to a sleeper. Disqo checks the arm twice and slaps Rection in the face to wake him up. Palumbo superkicks Rection back down as the fans want Bret again. It’s off to Cajun who is quickly sent outside as everything breaks down again.

The Seanton bomb nails Clark but here’s the Dark Carnival to break up High Times to Palumbo. Clark gives Palumbo the Meltdown for the slowest two count yet so he yells at Disqo. High Times plants Palumbo again but here’s Lieutenant Loco to steal Disqo’s shirt and count the pin, thereby screwing over the Misfits in the process to keep the titles on Kronik.

Rating: D-. What in the world did I just watch? Instead of anything resembling a regular match, this was a bunch of quick segments with Disqo tying everything together (work with me here) until Chavo ran in for the completely illogical ending. I get the idea that Disqo wanted to give the Animals the easiest match possible tomorrow night but this was just WAY too much for what they were going for.

Jeff Jarrett accuses Pamela of wearing Okerlund out last night. He’s been looking for Booker all day long and the champ better have eyes in the back of his head.

Shane Douglas vs. Kidman

Strap match with wins via pinfall. Before the match, Shane says Kidman isn’t man enough to keep up with Torrie all night long (which is nothing like the story of X-Pac vs. Kane with X-Pac using the exact same line about Kane and Tori in a storyline that aired earlier in the year). Kidman ties up the legs to start and Shane is rather irritated. A legdrop gets one for Kidman as Madden goes over the benefits of having a shirt on here.

In one of the funniest and at the same time saddest moments of the show, the announcers try to make fat jokes about Torrie based on that video from Monday. How do you even keep a straight face on a line like that? Shane crotches him with the strap and chokes a bit, followed by the reverse Hennig neck snap (which is actually a cool move). Torrie gets in some choking of his own and it’s off to a knuckle lock of all things.

Since it’s just a knuckle lock, Kidman comes back with a hurricanrana out of the corner and the Low Down gets two. Kidman finally gets smart and takes Shane’s shirt off, meaning they can actually start using the strap for a change. Torrie accidentally hits Shane in the face with a shoe for a near fall, followed by the Pittsburgh Plunge to Kidman for the same. A quick Kid Crusher (Killswitch) gives Kidman the pin.

Rating: D. Another match where there was no need for a gimmick because Russo doesn’t get how to actually run matches. Kidman getting the win was good but the Torrie factor is really starting to drag. The stuff where she used to be with Kidman was fine but I’m supposed to care that she used to be overweight? It doesn’t quite work when she’s a bombshell and one of the best looking women ever in wrestling.

Kidman spanks her with the strap so Shane hangs him in the corner, drawing Vito out for the save. Reno sneaks in from behind and gets beaten up by Vito as well.

Booker arrives and Jarrett attacks him by slamming Booker’s knee in the car door.

Miss Hancock vs. Major Gunns

Rip off the Camouflage and of course there’s mud. An early slap starts the catfight and Hancock does a Muta handspring elbow. Madden gets right to the point and says he wants to see these two lose their clothes. Gunns gets a jackknife cover for two in the ring because the rules are still all over the place. Hancock rips off the top to reveal more camouflage and I’m sure you get the idea here.

After a facebuster gives us the upskirt shot, Hancock loses the bottom half of her dress to reveal camouflage shorts. A cross body gets two for Hancock but she charges into a foot to the stomach. Hancock misses a cross body and goes to the floor holding her stomach. Oh here we go.

Gunns gets posted and Hancock rips off the shorts to reveal a swimsuit bottom. They head up the aisle with Hancock losing her top. Gunns gets sent into the mud and drags Hancock with her as Madden is calling himself daddy. Hancock gyrates a bit and goes down holding her stomach again, allowing Gunns to get an easy pin.

Rating: F. Do I really need to explain this one? The women looked good in their outfits but they’re horrible in the ring and the ending made it even worse. This stuff stopped being interesting a long time ago because EVERYTHING is an angle. You get numb to this stuff after a while and we passed that point nearly eight months ago with Russo.

David Flair dives into the mud to check on Hancock. To get this over with as quickly as we can: yes she was supposed to be pregnant and yes Russo was probably going to be revealed as the father because in Vince Russo’s WCW, he gets to sleep with Miss Hancock. Of course this is treated in the serious voices and made to be something real. Yes really real.

The Dark Carnival wants Demon to prove himself.

The announcers are all serious again and use Hancock’s real name to make sure this is as shooty as possible.

Sting vs. The Demon

Sting repels in from the ceiling and wins with the Death Drop in less than a minute, which included a brawl in the aisle.

Vampiro and Muta come in to beat down Sting. Kronik comes in for the save as Demon walks by the brawl. For no logical reason, Kronik offers to put the titles on the line tonight.

Booker’s knee is being worked on.

US Title: Mike Awesome vs. Lance Storm

Storm, with a bit of a mouse under his eye, is defending and gets the big Goldberg entrance. You can see that Storm is really proud to be here as he talks about getting to wrestle in the greatest country in the world tonight. The extra security is due to his hatred in America and he’s worried about a terrorist attack in the back. It’s not his fault that he threatens the American illusion and he defeats another American hero tonight. As for this match, he’s using rule 32B of the Canadian rule book to appoint a special referee: Jacques Rougeau! As in the Mountie! And not Bret Hart!

After a full rendition of O Canada (which is a big deal here and “not a work” according to Tony), we’re ready to go with Madden in tears. Rougeau will be the outside referee as Awesome hammers away, only to be sent shoulder first into the post. They head outside and Awesome loads up a table, drawing the required ECW chants.

Storm drives him into the barricade for a break but Awesome snaps off a belly to belly back inside. Mike slips off the top to a lot of jeering but quiets the fans down with a wicked sitout Awesome bomb for the pin and the title. That was a VERY close pin and Rougeau says no, which actually seems fair in this case.

We’re not done yet though as Rougeau has the Canadian rule book, which says you need a FIVE count. I didn’t know King Kong Bundy was Canadian. Tony: “Did this happen when we were in Toronto last year?” Awesome slams him for three before grabbing a dragon sleeper of all things for the tap out. I think you know where we’re going here.

The book says a title match is pinfall only so the match continues. Mike throws him down with a release German suplex and a slingshot shoulder gets four. You can imagine how screwy this must be for everyone involved. The Awesome splash gets give to give Awesome the pin (and Storm’s third job in about eight minutes) but this is Texas Death rules (in Canada?) so after a pin, Storm has until ten to get to his feet.

Mike throws a table in but gets chaired in the back for four. In theory wouldn’t you want the five count so you can have another eight or nine seconds to get up? Both guys go up and something like a belly to belly superplex puts both of them through the table. Rougeau rules that the first person to their feet by ten (huh?) wins. Mike is almost up first so Rougeau punches him out at seven to keep the title on Storm.

Rating: C-. I actually didn’t hate this as you could clearly see the idea they were going for. Now it was stupid to have Rougeau as the referee (Heidi would have actually made more sense) and to have the champ job that many times in one night, but there was at least an idea here. The bigger problem here of course is that Awesome didn’t cheat so Storm keeps losing over and over, but the live crowd was going to eat it up anyway. It’s over thinking as always, though it’s nowhere near as bad as it could have been. The action itself worked too so this was actually easy to watch.

Oh and here’s Bret Hart after the match for the Canadian pride moment. You know, because BRET HART would totally go for something like this. I’ve always thought that’s why he didn’t do the referee job here. Can you imagine Bret standing for something this stupid?

Nash doesn’t buy Goldberg’s motorcycle story and says he’s going over Steiner and getting the title back.

Tag Team Titles: Kronik vs. Dark Carnival

Kronik is defending in case you didn’t see them enough earlier tonight. Tony brings up Canadian rules and Madden slips up by saying Vampiro is from Canada, making the whole thing even screwier. Clark shoulders Vampiro for two to start and a big powerbomb gets the same. Muta gets choked in the corner and it’s back to Vampiro to get powerslammed for two.

It’s off to Adams and the villains start in on the leg….which goes nowhere as it’s quickly back to Clark for the Meltdown. For some reason there’s no cover so Muta mists the referee by mistake. Vampiro breaks up High Times but the Harris Twins of all people return to give Clark an H Bomb, setting up the moonsault for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D-. Good grief I can’t stand Vampiro. Every time I see him in a match, cutting a promo or just being there in general I can’t stand him. Now he gets a title, though given how insane this division has been lately, I can’t imagine him holding onto it for that long. The worst part here is the Harris Twins vs. Kronik, which could set a new standard for horrible.

Booker says Jarrett will have to kill him to take the title. Don’t hate the player, hate the game. As usual, this is a feud that is totally fine and has told a completely acceptable story of the old champion getting annoyed as the new star. The knee injury is find for a plot point to advance the story as well. However, almost no one remembers this because of how ridiculous the rest of this show is, which is really a shame.

Quick recap of the triple threat match, which is designed to look like a SHOOT. Not a “shoot”, but a SHOOT. They’ve been arguing over who has to do the job (using that term) and it’s going over the heads of 99% of the audience who just wants to see people fight.

Kevin Nash vs. Scott Steiner vs. Goldberg

The winner gets the title shot next month. No Goldberg to start due to the motorcycle accident. Tony tells us to pay extra attention to see if there’s anything out of the ordinary. Nash takes him outside to start and sends Steiner hard into the barricade. Here’s a taped up Goldberg about a minute in to go after Nash with a chair. With Nash down on the floor, Steiner clotheslines Goldberg and drops an elbow for two.

Goldberg comes back with a flying shoulder and the Bret Killer kick, drawing Nash up from the apron for a big staredown. Hudson tells stories about Starrcade 1988 (yes 1988) when Nash was on the booking committee and put himself over Goldberg. Steiner comes back in to save Goldberg and gets two off a belly to belly. Tony interprets Steiner yelling at the referee as him not being on the same page with everyone else.

Goldberg suplexes Steiner down but Nash clotheslines them both. A big boot drops Goldberg but the Jackknife is broken up. It looked like a simple counter but IT’S A SWERVE because it’s really him not following the script. Russo, in his MANLY sleeveless shirt, tells Goldberg to get back in but Goldberg walks to the back.

The announcers freak out that this is Goldberg not following the script, even though it looked like a pretty basic counter to the powerbomb. I love how we’re supposed to buy Kevin Nash and SCOTT STEINER as the professionals here. Tony: “What are they going to do now? Improvise?” This is just so bizarre to hear because it’s clear that they’re trying to sound like they’re shooting. There are shows where you can hear the raw audio and it sounds NOTHING like this, mainly because the announcers aren’t very good actors.

Midajah comes out as Steiner takes Snake Eyes. The referee goes down and Midajah hits Nash low to give Scott two. Nash fails at a DDT and goes after Midajah so Steiner grabs a sleeper. That goes nowhere so Nash kicks him in the face and the Jackknife is good for the pin. And that’s a shoot of course.

Rating: F. I can’t get mad at this. I’m trying and I just can’t do it. Stuff like the Hogan stuff last month and the Russo destroying Flair nonsense makes me angry but this was just……dumb. This felt like seeing a kid do something he wasn’t supposed to do and then listening to the ridiculous explanation that they come up with to try and get out of it. Instead of getting mad at them, it’s almost amusing to see them trying so hard to be clever and leaving so many holes in the story along the way.

I don’t think I have to explain why this was stupid and why it completely defeats the point of professional wrestling in the first place, but I really can’t get mad at it. Maybe it’s the shoot interviews that set it up or maybe I’ve just reached the point where Russo isn’t worth getting annoyed at anymore. It’s one thing to yell and rave about something stupid when it’s clearly for one person’s (namely Russo) benefit. Instead, this felt like Russo actually thought he had a good idea but he’s too stupid to realize how bad it was.

After sitting through the first two hours of this show, there are so many other things to get mad at. Like Judy Bagwell on a pole for instance. That felt much more cruel and low brow than this because it was all about Judy’s looks. The Hancock stuff is stupid because it’s not something I’m ever going to believe. This on the other hand felt like they were trying for something interesting and just failed, which is a lot harder to get mad about. It’s still stupid, but Judy Bagwell on a Pole is the far more infamous moment for a reason: that was lame and stupid whereas this was more a failure, which I can live with much easier.

Finally, this is a rare occasion where watching the TV leading up to it helps a lot. They basically said “yeah we’re going to do something stupid” for the last three weeks and then this is what we got. With the Hogan vs. Jarrett mess last month they treated it seriously and then did the stupid shoot. This time they basically advertised a screwy finish and you were watching to see how bad it was. On top of that, as lame as it was, you actually got a match. Steiner vs. Nash isn’t great but it’s better than “pin me, pay me.” It was a lame idea and didn’t work for most of the fans, but this could have been WAY worse.

Tony throws us to the recap video for the World Tag Team Title match, meaning Booker vs. Jarrett. I guess it’s the Andre the Giant coming out in him. We’ve covered this already: Booker won the title last month so Jeff is trying to get it back by injuring Booker’s knee in advance.

WCW World Title: Booker T. vs. Jeff Jarrett

Jarrett is challenging and Booker’s knee is in horrible shape coming in. Booker fights out of the corner to start and quickly takes it to the floor to send Jeff into the barricade. Back in and the champ crotches him against the post (Madden: “That’s a walk down Slapnuts Boulevard.”) but the missile dropkick hurts his knee again. You know you don’t have to ask Jeff to work on a limb twice so he wraps the knee around the post.

A chair shot crushes the knee even more and Booker gets caught in a half crab. That goes as far as a half crab is going to go so Booker grabs the spinning sunset flip out of the corner for two. A double clothesline puts both guys down and the knee is suddenly fine enough for an ax kick and Spinarooni. There goes the referee and Jeff blasts the knee with the guitar. Jeff grabs a bad looking Figure Four for WAY too long until Booker grabs the rope. The referee breaking the hold ticks Jeff off so we get a second ref bump.

Booker’s knee is fine again and they set up a table at ringside, only to have Booker do something like a Book End off the apron through said table. Jeff hits the new referee with a chair and then Strokes Booker onto the chair for two from a fresh ref. Booker tries a neckbreaker which turns into a Diamond Cutter (to be fair how often do you see a main event swinging neckbreaker?) onto the chair for two. The Book End retains the title.

Rating: C. This was fine, albeit overbooked. Booker vs. Jarrett is a good example of a pairing that really doesn’t need a lot of extras on the side and they would have been better just having a wrestling match. The ref bumps got annoying in a hurry but that’s the main event style of the time. Not a great match or anything, but it really needed to be something more simple.

The fans bail out immediately and pelt trash into the ring to end this mess.

Overall Rating: F+. I’ve heard this called one of the worst shows of all time, maybe even THE worst of all time and it just isn’t that bad. I wouldn’t even call it the worse show of the summer as Great American Bash offered NOTHING of value. This show had an entertaining opener and a totally fine main event which more than make this a better show than some of the others of this era.

Now that being said, this is another disaster on Russo’s watch because he can’t just leave well enough alone and let the show work. It’s not a good show but for the most part everything goes by fast enough (longest match is the main event at just under fifteen minutes) that it doesn’t really infuriate me. Stuff like the Judy Bagwell match and the Canadian Rules match (which at least got a really good reaction) are really more things you just roll your eyes at and move on to the next match.

The show is really bad, but its reputation is far worse than it actually is. At least with this one you have some entertaining matches and a feeling that they’re trying to do something positive instead of flipping the fans off and laughing at them for not getting behind the ideas. There are still WAY more problems here that need to be fixed and this show was horrible, but somehow it’s an improvement over some of the other stuff they’ve done this year.

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