Wrestlemania XIV
Date: March 29, 1998
Location: Fleetcenter, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 19,028
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross
America the Beautiful: Chris Warren

This is the first of the annual redos and it’s a show that is incredibly historic but doesn’t get the most attention. As you might remember, the main event is Steve Austin getting his shot against Shawn Michaels for the WWF Title, along with Kane vs. Undertaker for the first time ever. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at the history of Wrestlemania and how tradition has been taken hostage by a new generation. These people are here to be the top stars and fight for the same title held by Andre, Hogan and Bruno. This year is destined to become a part of the history and somewhere, the father of Wrestlemania will revel in it as well.

Tag Team Battle Royal

Faarooq/Kama Mustafa, Savio Vega/Miguel Perez Jr., Jose Estrada Jr./Jesus Castillo, Truth Commission, Bradshaw/Chainz, New Midnight Express, Mark Henry/D’Lo Brown, Quebecers, LOD 2000, Rock N Roll Express, Headbangers, Too Much, Disciples Of Apocalypse, Steve Blackman/Flash Funk, Godwinns

For a future Tag Team Title shot and LOD 2000, with Sunny, are surprise entrants. If one member is eliminated, the entire team is gone. It’s a huge brawl to start (as it has to be) as JR tries to keep track of everyone involved. Vega is out, with Perez having to be helped to the back. Jim Cornette and Sunny argue on the floor as Kurrgan comes out to help eliminate the Truth Commission.

Cue Barry Windham (not in the match) to toss Chainz out and sure we’ll count that. Brown is eliminated and the Quebecers follow as the ring is clearing out a good bit. The Rock N Roll Express are out and Estrada/Castillo follow. The Headbangers are tossed as well, with JR wondering why Mark Henry is still in there despite his partner being tossed. Henry gets the message and leaves as Animal gets rid of Too Much.

We’re down to the Midnights, the LOD, the Disciples and the Godwinns as they didn’t waste time here. Things slow down a bit with Hawk shoulders Henry but Phineas is back up to get rid of the Disciples. Hold on though as the Disciples come back in to throw the Godwinns out, leaving us with two. Then the Godwinns get back in again and hit the LOD with their buckets. Animal is sent outside through the ropes but comes back in to make the save. Hawk hits a clothesline to get rid of Holly for the win at 8:21.

Rating: C-. This was nothing but a way for the LOD to come in with their new look and Sunny then run through some people for a win. There was almost no drama to this one and the stuff with the Godwinns seemed to be setting up something for the LOD going forward. Having the LOD come out for the return pop worked but a thirty man battle royal which took awhile to get through didn’t help.

We look at various media events to promote the show, including the DX public workout which almost went very badly due to Shawn Michaels being in quite the bad place.

Light Heavyweight Title: Taka Michinoku vs. Aguila

Michinoku is defending and Aguila would go on to be better known as Essa Rios. Aguila snaps off a headscissors and a spinwheel kick to send Taka outside. That means a baseball slide into a top rope moonsault (which JR calls an Asai moonsault) to take Taka out again. Back in and Taka dropkicks him to the floor for a change, setting up the always great looking top rope dive to the floor.

Back in again and Aguila sends him outside again, only to have Taka go up top. That’s fine with Aguila, who runs the corner and hits a top rope armdrag. A springboard armdrag and a very spinning wristdrag have Taka on the floor again, setting up the big corkscrew dive. JR is trying to keep up with this while Lawler has more or less given up.

Taka misses a moonsault back inside and gets planted for two before being sat up top. Aguila gets knocked down but Taka’s splash hits knees, allowing Aguila to hit a middle rope hurricanrana. A missile dropkick gets Taka out of trouble though and the sit out powerbomb plants Aguila again. Taka misses a middle rope moonsault, only to dropkick him out of the air. The Michinoku Driver retains the title at 5:59.

Rating: B-. It was a total popcorn match as they were all over the place with the high spots and as a result, it was rather entertaining. That being said, this felt like someone saw the cruiserweights in WCW and decided to do their own lower level version. That’s more or less exactly what this was, which is one of the reasons the division didn’t stick. Fun match, but it could have been on any given edition on Raw.

Gennifer Flowers interviewed the Rock earlier today, and asked how he would handle the homeless situation if he was leader. Rock prefers ruler, but the reality is that if those people stay off his lawn and in their boxes, he’s happy. As for the judicial system, as long as you realize he’s the judge and jury, everything is fine. Just remember that he would be a hung jury. Finally, he’s fine with running the White House as long as the interns underneath him do their, ahem, jobs. This was basically a celebrity serving Rock up some batting practice.

European Title: HHH vs. Owen Hart

HHH, with Chyna, is defending in one of the last bits of fallout from Montreal. Hart has a bad ankle coming in and Chyna is handcuffed to Commissioner Sgt. Slaughter. Hart slugs away to start and snaps off a hurricanrana for two, only to get elbowed in the jaw for his efforts. With Hart out on the floor, Chyna tries a right hand but gets pulled back by Slaughter, meaning HHH’s cheap shot doesn’t work either.

It’s way too early for a Sharpshooter back inside and HHH grabs the facebuster to take over. The jumping knee gets two and Lawler is literally screaming at HHH to go after the ankle. A DDT gets two before it’s FINALLY time to go after the ankle. HHH goes old school (yes even back then) with the spinning toehold, followed by an elbow onto the leg. More cranking on the leg in the corner has Owen in trouble but he’s able to come back with a belly to belly.

A spinwheel kick gives Hart two and he hits the enziguri, only to hurt the bad ankle again. The hurricanrana is countered with a hard powerbomb to give HHH two more as things slow down a bit. HHH puts him up top but gets shoved away, setting up a high crossbody for two. Owen falls head first into a low blow ala Sting (always works), sending Lawler into hysterics over the referee not calling a DQ. The Sharpshooter goes on but HHH makes the ropes. With the referee distracted, Chyna throws powder in Slaughter’s eyes and hits Hart low. That and the Pedigree are enough to retain the title at 11:28.

Rating: C+. This was good enough, though it’s far from the HHH that he would later become. The ending didn’t exactly keep Owen looking strong and that was pretty much the point of the match. Slaughter was barely a factor here, but that is the summation of his time as Commissioner: a grand total of nothing and it was nice to see him go away.

Post match Chyna beats up Slaughter.

We recap Sable/Marc Mero vs. Luna Vachon/The Artist Formerly Known As Goldust. In short, Sable is a star, Mero doesn’t like it, Luna and Goldust tried to do something about it and Mero came to her defense. Or the more realistic version: Sable, Sable, Sable, Sable, Sable, Sable and Sable. Er wait, putting “and” in front of her might suggest that Sable isn’t important and we can’t have that.

Marc Mero/Sable vs. Luna Vachon/The Artist Formerly Known As Goldust

Goldust takes Mero into the corner to start but gets caught with a running headscissors. The women come in but Luna immediately tags back out, leaving Sable to superkick (ok not so super) Goldust. Mero comes back in and is quickly clotheslined down as Lawler wants to know why Luna won’t fight Sable.

The villains take over on Mero, who manages a boot in the corner to put Goldust down. Luna gets the tag and so does Sable, which seems rather unnecessary due to the rules. Sable cleans house in the traditional catfighting style but does throw in some kicks in the corner. A clothesline puts Luna on the floor and it’s back to Goldust, who gets sent into the steps. Back in and the TKO is countered into a DDT to give Goldust two as things slow down again.

Mero knee lifts his way to freedom and a springboard moonsault press (which BARELY rotates enough) gives him two. This time it’s Goldust going up top but getting crotched right back down. A super hurricanrana sets up the TKO for two, with Luna making the save. Sable tags herself in and covers Goldust (as the rules are all over the place here) but has to avoid Luna’s top rope splash. Sable powerbombs Luna for two before avoiding a charge against the ropes. The TKO gives Sable the pin at 9:08.

Rating: C-. I know it’s been said to death, but simply put, Sable just wasn’t very good. She was there because of how she looked in gear and she knew how to sell a shirt, but those are the high points of her talent. The other three were trying, but this was all about Sable and everyone could tell from the second the match was announced.

Tennessee Lee (better known as Robert Fuller/Colonel Robert Parker) brings out Jeff Jarrett with Gennifer Flowers, the latter of whom is guest ring announcer for the next match.

Intercontinental Title: The Rock vs. Ken Shamrock

The Rock, with the Nation of Domination, is defending. Shamrock has been wanting the title and Rock gave him one heck of a scary chair shot to the face. Rock also accidentally hit Nation leader Faarooq, which seems to bode badly for him. They start fast as JR says this is for the European Title. Shamrock kicks him in the chest to start and they go to the floor, with Rock staggering near the technical equipment.

Back in and Shamrock strikes him down again before bouncing Rock’s head against the mat. They go back outside with Rock managing a whip into the steps for a much needed breather. That sets up the not quite People’s Elbow for two but Shamrock sends him outside again. The chair is loaded up but the referee grabs it, earning him a shove from Shamrock. Rock grabs said chair for a shot to the head for a near fall as the referee is back up. Shamrock unloads on Rock and belly to belly suplexes him into the ankle lock for the tap/the title at 4:49.

Rating: C. They kept this one moving as it wasn’t even five minutes long, with Rock only getting in a few shots here and there. Shamrock ore or less mauled him, with that chair shot barely doing any damage. This almost felt like a TV match instead of some big pay per view (let alone Wrestlemania) title match, but it also made Shamrock look like a monster by running through the champ that fast.

Post match Shamrock stays on the Rock so here are the Nation and some referees. That doesn’t work at all as Shamrock beats everyone up, which is enough for the referee to reverse the decision, meaning Rock retains. Shamrock blows off some more steam by beating up Rock on the stretcher. This really doesn’t feel like a Wrestlemania title match, but it was a rather different time. Again though: Shamrock looked like a killer and that worked well.

We get the still awesome “we are real athletes” promo, with wrestlers talking about their backgrounds and the injuries they had to deal with over their careers.

We recap the New Age Outlaws defending the Tag Team Titles against Chainsaw Charlie/Cactus Jack. The Outlaws don’t like old guys and put the two of them in a dumpster for a ride off the stage. Now it’s time for the appropriate choice of a dumpster match.

Tag Team Titles: Cactus Jack/Chainsaw Charlie vs. New Age Outlaws

The Outlaws are defending in a dumpster match (same rules as a casket match). It’s a brawl to start with Cactus trying to put Dogg in the dumpster early. That’s broken up and a metal sheet to the head slows Cactus down. Cactus’ flip dive off the apron only hits dumpster (you knew that was coming) and Gunn backdrops Charlie (or Funk as JR calls him) into the dumpster.

The Outlaws slam the dumpster lids onto Cactus and Charlie’s heads as JR thinks the old guys like this a bit. Cactus blocks the slamming of the lid though and it’s time to bring out some more weapons to crank up the violence. An elbow off the apron with a cookie sheet hits Gunn and of course it’s time for the ladder. Cactus and Gunn go up, only to be sent crashing into the dumpster for the big spot.

With Cactus getting out, Charlie gets powerbombed into the dumpster, leaving the Outlaws to take Cactus up to the entrance, which doesn’t feel overly logical. They go to the back so we look at some highlights, which would feel so bizarre these days. Cactus is sent into various catering things, including big Surge and Powerade displays. Gunn gets double armed DDT’ed onto a forklift and here is Charlie to pick both Outlaws up and drop them into a dumpster. Cactus closes the lid for the win and the titles at 10:17.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t exactly your traditional match but what mattered the most was Cactus and Charlie getting their revenge after taking a huge beating. The fans wanted to see them win the titles and that is what they got. Granted it was on the Titantron, but that is better than not getting the belts at all. It makes sense to not put the Outlaws in a more traditional match as that was never really their thing, so thankfully this was a case of playing to their strengths.

We recap Kane vs. Undertaker and…yeah this is a deep one. So Paul Bearer turned on Undertaker, who wanted revenge. Eventually Bearer revealed that Undertaker had a brother named Kane, who was believed to be killed in a fire as a child. In reality, Kane was still alive and had apparently been kept hidden by Bearer for years. Then Kane appeared and wanted revenge on Undertaker, attacking every wrestler he could until Undertaker agreed to fight.

Undertaker never would, so eventually Kane put Undertaker in a casket and burned him alive (after teasing joining Undertaker in a pretty cool moment). That violates one of the most important rules in wrestling, which says “don’t tick off a giant monster who may or may not have evil powers”. This included Undertaker appearing on top of the Titantron and lighting a casket on fire, revealing a burning Kane inside for one of the most amazing things I had ever seen at 10 years old. Now it’s time for their first fight and this is huge.

Here is Pete Rose as a special guest and he is all over the Boston Red Sox fans, instantly getting every single thing about being a heel in wrestling. Rose halfway introduces Kane, who makes his full entrance….and promptly annihilates Rose with a Tombstone. This makes Kane the most popular man in Boston for at least a good thirty seconds.

Undertaker vs. Kane

Kane has Paul Bearer with him but Undertaker comes out with the tunnel made of torch carrying druids for one of the all time awesome entrances. They go nose to nose for an awesome visual before Undertaker starts striking away (I believe the first time he has ever attacked Kane). That’s enough to knock Kane into the corner, where he launches Undertaker in instead. Kane strikes away and puts him in the Tree of Woe to continue said striking.

Undertaker is sent outside for a second before the beating continues back inside. For some reason Undertaker tries to jump onto Kane’s shoulders, earning him a quick crash back down. Kane hits him with the steps and even Bearer gets in some cheap shots from behind. Back in and Undertaker starts running the ropes rather hard (that always looks cool), only to charge into a chokeslam, with Kane pulling him up at two.

We hit the chinlock, which is where the match grinds to a halt. Kane is a monster who has basically become a horror movie villain, but he knows how to grab a chinlock and lay on the mat for a bit? There is something that completely misses there and it kills the match dead. That’s broken up and Kane drops an elbow before grabbing another chinlock. Undertaker finally powers his way out and sends Kane outside, where the Taker Dive is sent crashing through the announcers’ table in a great visual.

Back in and the top rope clothesline gives Kane two but Undertaker is back with a Tombstone…which is reversed into one from Kane for two. That wakes the fans way back up and Undertaker starts striking away as Kane is starting to stagger. A running clothesline puts Kane down and there’s the chokeslam into a Tombstone for two on Kane. Another Tombstone gets another two, with Kane kind of twitching his shoulder for the kickout. The top rope clothesline into a third Tombstone (with a regular cover instead of the hands over the chest) finish Kane off at 16:59, though Kane kicks at about 3.1.

Rating: B-. This is a match that started and ended well, but there is a long stretch in the middle and it really hurt things. That chinlock segment and a bunch of the basic wrestling they did felt like it was out of a completely different match, which dragged things way down. This really needed to have about five minutes cut out, because the opening staredown and brawl worked, along with the last portion. Instead, it’s a rather long match that didn’t work as well as it should have.

At the same time, Undertaker winning didn’t exactly feel right, as Kane had been built up as this monster who should have been a different kind of opponent. In this situation, it would have made sense for him to win and beat Undertaker to set up some big, and much more violent, rematch. What we got was ok, but it should have been that much better.

Post match Bearer comes in to stomp on Undertaker, who fights up and hits Bearer in the face. Kane is back up and wrecks Undertaker with the chair, setting up a Tombstone onto it to leave Undertaker laying. Kane and Bearer leave, with Undertaker getting up and kind of falling out to the floor.

We get a vignette featuring various legends, who talk about how they had their day but can never do this kind of thing today. Now, they cheer for these new people. This is an all timer from the company and shows how everything has changed. Awesome indeed.

We recap Steve Austin vs. Shawn Michaels for the WWF Title. Austin is on an all time roll and is ready to claim his destiny, but he has to deal with not only Shawn, but the rest of DX, including Mike Tyson, who has joined the team and is a special referee. To call this huge would be an understatement as even Eric Bischoff said “oooh, that’s pretty good.”

WWF Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Steve Austin

Michaels, with HHH and Chyna, is defending and Mike Tyson is guest enforcer referee. We get the long tracking shots from the back, which are still some of the best things WWF ever did and make things feel that much bigger. The DX Band plays Shawn to the ring for something that should be cool but they don’t quite have that epic feeling.

Austin flips him off to start and gets punched in the face, which does not sit well. The chase is on outside, followed by Austin hitting him in the head on the way back in. Shawn’s attempt to escape results in his tights being pulled down before Austin backdrops him onto HHH. That doesn’t work for HHH, who whips Austin into the barricade. HHH and Chyna are ejected and things are a lot more even.

Never one to lose a chance to beat someone up, Austin sends HHH into the DX Band set, earning himself a cymbal to the head from Shawn. Back in and Austin hammers away before flipping Shawn over in the corner. An atomic drop of all things gets two and the Stun Gun gets the same. Austin knocks him off the apron and into the announcers’ table, followed by the chinlock back inside.

Shawn fights up but gets sent hard into the post. The fight heads back to the floor, where Austin is sent over the barricade and Shawn clocks him with the ring bell. Back in and Shawn slowly hammers away until Austin fights up with right hands. Shawn is sent over the top for the crash but he’s fine enough to wrap Austin’s knee around the post. They get back inside again with Shawn slowly starting in on the leg but Austin fights back up.

That’s enough for Tyson to offer a distraction though, with Shawn getting in a chop block. The Figure Four has Austin in more trouble be fore finally breaks it up. Austin fights up again and makes another comeback, with the referee getting bumped, leaving Shawn to hit a not so great forearm. There’s the nip up into into the top rope elbow and Shawn loads up the superkick. That doesn’t work as Austin ducks and grabs the Stunner, with Tyson coming in to count the pin for the title at 20:06.

Rating: B. This is one of those matches that has so many details that make things all the more interesting. While it is Austin’s big crowning moment and the start of a new era, there was only so much that could have been done because of Michaels’ injuries. It would have been interesting to see what they could have done at full strength, but the match did the one thing that it needed: Austin hitting the Stunner to win the WWF Title for the first time.

Post match the celebration is on, with JR getting in the all time line of “the Austin Era has begun.” Austin throws Tyson an Austin shirt but Shawn gets up and isn’t happy. He takes the shirt away and tries a right hand, with Tyson easily blocking it and dropping Shawn with a right hand of his own. Tyson and Austin celebrate, confetti falls and the highlight package wraps us up.

Overall Rating: B. This show is rather weird in a lot of ways, as it might not be the best show in the way of quality, but it was one of the most important shows the company has ever had. First of course there is Austin, whose win took the company into an entirely new era. It’s the definition of a Wrestlemania Moment and it is still played in highlight reels decades later for a reason.

At the same time you have the focus on a much more in your face style, with stuff like the dumpster match and Kane vs. Undertaker being a weird sci-fi soap opera. The last three matches (and the Intercontinental Title to a lesser extent) felt big and that is what they were supposed to do. The first half of the show is only so good, but once this show kicks in, it kicks in hard and the company was off to the races soon after.

Ratings Comparison

Tag Team Battle Royal

Original: D-
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D+
2024 Redo: C-

Taka Michinoku vs. Aguila

Original: D+
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B-
2024 Redo: B-

HHH vs. Owen Hart

Original: B-
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: B
2024 Redo: C+

Marc Mero/Sable vs. The Artist Formerly Known As Goldust/Luna Vachon

Original: C
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C
2024 Redo: C-

The Rock vs. Ken Shamrock

Original: C+
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: D+
2024 Redo: C

New Age Outlaws vs. Cactus Jack/Chainsaw Charlie

Original: C+
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: B
2024 Redo: C+

Kane vs. Undertaker

Original: D+
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: D+
2024 Redo: B-

Steve Austin vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B+
2013 Redo: B+
2015 Redo: A-
2024 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B+
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B
2024 Redo: B

The match ratings are all over the place compared to the previous editions and the overall rating is the same. Yep that’s one of my reviews.

 

 

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Wrestlemania X
Date: March 20, 1994
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 18,065
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

If there is one thing that WWE does well, it is big milestone episodes where they are able to look back on what they have done before and praise themselves for it. The good thing is that this show has a lot going for it on its own, including the legendary ladder match and the two World Title matches, along with a second instant classic. Let’s get to it.

We open with a look back at the first Wrestlemania (egads it’s amazing how far they have come, even in nine years), with some awesome old school clips.

The opening sequence is just a look at the World Title participants without so much as a voiceover.

Little Richard and the Harlem Boys Choir sing America the Beautiful in a great performance.

Vince and Lawler explain the WWF Title situation, which is going to require some backstory. Lex Luger and Bret Hart were co-winners of the Royal Rumble, so both of them are getting title shots (since the triple threat wasn’t a big thing yet). Luger won a coin toss, meaning he will face Yokozuna for the WWF Title first, while Bret will face his brother Owen Hart (had Bret won the coin toss, Luger would have faced Crush). Bret will then face the winner of Luger vs. Yokozuna, no matter what happens in Bret vs. Owen.

We recap Bret vs. Owen, which is all about Owen wanting to get out from his brother’s shadow. Bret is one of the top stars in the WWF but Owen feels he is even better. They tried to win the Tag Team Titles together but the injured Bret wouldn’t tag out, costing them the titles. Owen turned on him as a result, which felt completely justified as Bret wouldn’t listen and tried to do everything himself. This is Owen’s big chance to prove that he’s a star in his own right and back up everything he has said about Bret for months now.

Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart

Dig that entrance where the X in the Wrestlemania logo slides apart, plus the entrance being opposite the hard camera as only MSG can make work. They go straight to the lockup, with Owen celebrating almost immediately. Bret wrestles him down and this time Owen has to go to the ropes for a break. Back up and Owen takes him down but this time Bret sends him outside to escape.

Owen slaps him in the face and then grabs a headlock, only to get reversed into a hammerlock. A rollup out of the corner gives Bret two and he armdrags Owen into an armbar. That’s broken up as well so Bret grabs a monkey flip, followed by a clothesline to the floor as things pick up for the first time. Owen teases leaving so Bret throws him back inside and hits a slap of his own, setting up another arm crank.

That’s broken up as well and Owen hits a spinwheel kick as neither can keep an advantage for that long. They head outside with Owen ramming him back first into the post. A backbreaker stays on the back and we hit a camel clutch as Owen plays Iron Sheik. Bret gets out (I knew he was better than Backlund) but charges into a belly to belly for two. Owen’s middle rope spinning crossbody connects and it’s off to the reverse chinlock with a knee in Bret’s back.

With that not working well enough, Owen tosses him to the floor, followed by a bridging German suplex for two back inside. It’s time to crank things up with a jumping Tombstone but instead of covering, Owen goes up to miss a top rope headbutt. Bret fights up and hits a clothesline, followed by a Russian legsweep for two. The middle rope elbow gets the same but Owen comes back with the enziguri.

Owen tries his own Sharpshooter but Bret counters, only to have his own version countered as well. A cradle gives Owen two with the kickout sending him outside. Lawler freaks out again, as he is glorious in praising Owen while yelling about Bret. A dive to the floor drops Owen again but Bret bangs up his knee on the landing. Back in and Owen goes right for the knee rather than letting Bret have a chance to sucker him in, including wrapping the leg around the post over and over.

Something like an Indian Deathlock has Bret down again so we hit the LET’S GO BRET chant. There’s something so simple about a chant like that but it just feels like wrestling. Owen goes a bit more classic with the Figure Four but Bret turns it over, sending Owen straight to the ropes. Back up and Bret whips him chest first into the buckle, setting up a bulldog for two.

A heck of a piledriver gives Bret two more, though it seems to tweak his knee a bit. Said knee is fine enough to hit a top rope superplex (Bret always made those look good) for another near fall as Bret is getting frustrated. Bret grabs a sleeper so Owen goes for the ropes and kicks him low to escape. Owen slaps on the Sharpshooter, which is reversed into Bret’s version, which sends Owen straight to the ropes. Back up and Bret gets whipped into the corner but gets up a boot to stop a charge. Bret tries a victory roll but Owen sits down on him for the clean pin at 20:22.

Rating: A. Absolute classic here and still probably the best opening match ever. What made this work so well, in addition to the great wrestling, is the story that they were telling. Bret was going as hard as he could but he couldn’t beat the motivated Owen, who had everything riding on this. If Owen lost here, he had nowhere to go and would go even nuttier, which was enough to get him past his brother. I’ve seen this one a ton of times and it is still great every time. Check this out again in case you haven’t seen it in awhile.

In the back, Owen is VERY happy with his win and says he told us all. This is more pride than anything else as Owen is finally validated. He even praises Bret a bit because while he still loves his brother, he had to win. That’s a great little detail and something you don’t see in a lot of matches and stories.

Wrestlemania II was in three cities and had celebrities!

Sy Sperling, the President of the Hair Club for Men, presents Howard Finkel in a toupee.

Doink The Clown/Dink The Clown vs. Luna Vachon/Bam Bam Bigelow

Makes sense to put this here as nothing serious should be following the opener. Bigelow wastes no time in dropkicking Doink down to start but misses a backsplash. Doink avoids a charge and works on an armbar, which lasts as long as you would expect. It’s off to Luna vs. Dink, the latter of whom starts with a quick spank. Luna chokes him on the middle rope, only to miss a charge on the ropes. Dink’s elbow drop gets two so Luna kicks him in the stomach. Dink drives her into the corner but misses something off the top for a crash.

This time it’s Luna going up, where she misses a splash (which got some height) of her own. The double tag brings in Bigelow and Doink, with Bigelow clotheslining him out to the floor in a heap. For some reason Dink is able to knock Bigelow down to his knees but Luna chases him back outside. Back in and Doink tries a sunset flip on Bigelow, which goes about as well as you would expect. Doink is fine enough to hit a jumping DDT on Bigelow, setting a missed top rope Whoopee Cushion. Bigelow knocks Dink off the apron and the top rope headbutt finishes Doink at 6:07.

Rating: D+. What else were you expecting here? There is only so much that you can get out of having a match mostly played for comedy, though having Bigelow and Luna win in such dominant fashion was a bit weird. At least they didn’t give it too much time though and it’s hard to get that annoyed at a match that is pure filler.

Post match Dink goes after Bigelow but gets taken down by Luna. The splash misses though and the clowns stand tall enough.

A Bill Clinton impersonator is here, complete with Jack Tunney next to him and IRS behind him.

Wrestlemania III was a huge show.

Randy Savage vs. Crush

This is billed as Falls Count Anywhere, which is true, but it has a twist to it, in that you get a fall but then your opponent has sixty seconds to get back in the ring. Yokozuna destroyed Crush a few months ago and Crush accused Savage, his former friend, of not checking on him. As a result, Crush beat the heck out of him, sending Savage into a rage, costing him a broadcasting job.

Now it’s time for revenge, so Savage charges at him in the aisle. That earns Savage a throat first drop onto the barricade for a fall on the floor less than a minute after the bell. Savage falls down at ringside but makes it back in with two seconds left. Crush ties him in the Tree of Woe and hammers away before going over to manager Mr. Fuji to get some salt. As you might expect, Savage gets out and knocks it into Crush’s face, setting up a top rope ax handle to the back.

The top rope elbow connects but Savage is smart enough to throw Crush outside for the pin, meaning the sixty second countdown is on again. Crush makes it back in with a second to go (and Fuji pouring water on his face/pushing him inside), meaning that was the most incredible elbow Savage ever hit.

Back in and Crush starts hammering on the back as they go to the floor again. They fight into the back with Crush being sent face first into a door, where they find some scaffolding. Savage gets the pin, but stops to tie Crush upside down in the scaffolding. Apparently never a Boy Scout, the rope slips and Crush falls down on the floor, but Savage gets the win anyway at 9:03.

Rating: C. This was a weird one as they mixed up a couple of stipulations, leaving us with a match that didn’t really work. Waiting for almost a minute after each fall made things drag a lot and that isn’t how such a grudge match should have gone. Savage out for vengeance in a wild weapons brawl should have been easy, but they twisted things around a bit here and it only kind of worked, mainly when they weren’t in the long rest periods. This would be Savage’s last match for the WWE, and it wasn’t a great way to go out.

Todd Pettengill is with the Clinton impersonator, who talks about how he has loved wrestling for years. IRS pops in for some tax jokes.

Video on Fan Fest, the ancestor of Axxess.

Randy Savage celebrates with the fans.

Randy Savage won the WWF Title in a tournament at Wrestlemania IV.

Women’s Title: Lelani Kai vs. Alundra Blayze

Kai, who challenged for the title at the first Wrestlemania, is challenging here as the company decided it cared about the Women’s Title again. The camera stays rather zoomed in to start before zooming out to show Kai running her over. Kai picks Blayze up for some choking and throws her down as Lawler talks about how much better Kai is at everything.

The yet to be named hurricanrana gives Blayze two but Kai tosses her outside. Back in and a butterfly suplex gives Kai two as this is one sided so far. Blayze fights back with some kicks and a snap suplex is good for two. Lawler suggests that Blayze looks like a horse before the German suplex retains the title at 3:27.

Rating: C-. Nothing to see here, though Kai getting in that much offense was quite the surprise. The problem is that the division was Blayze, Bull Nakano and maybe one or two other women, which didn’t leave many options. Blayze was good, but there was only so much they could do in about three minutes with a cold challenger.

The Fabulous Moolah and Nikolai Volkoff are watching.

Roddy Piper used a fire extinguisher at Wrestlemania V.

Shawn Michaels interrupts an interview with Rhonda Shear, a USA TV host, but Burt Reynolds interrupts and gets the girl. Reynolds seems to have no idea why he’s here.

Tag Team Titles: Men on a Mission vs. Quebecers

The Quebecers, with Johnny Polo (better known for his bird themes such as Scotty Flamingo and Raven), are defending but rapping Oscar is here with Men on a Mission. The champs jump the rather large challengers before the bell to start fast. Mo gets knocked outside but Mable runs the champs over with a double clothesline.

We settle down to Mo crossbodying Pierre for two and Mable drops the leg to make it worse. It’s back to Mo, who gets taken into the corner this time so the stomping can begin. Mo gets sent outside for a dive from Pierre for two back inside. A double hot shot gets the same as Lawler thinks Mabel has gone off to find food. Mo finally scores with a running flip attack but the referee doesn’t see the tag to Mabel.

Pierre misses a top rope legdrop though and the hot tag brings in Mabel to wreck the normal sized humans. A missed charge slows him down and the Quebecers manage a double suplex (Polo approves) to drop the giant. The Cannonball gets two but Mabel is back up with a spinwheel…well leg as his foot didn’t come close to Jacques’ face. An assisted splash crushes Jacques so Polo distracts the referee. Oscar breaks that up as Pierre hits Jacques by mistake. Another assisted splash hits Pierre on the floor and that’s a countout at 7:45.

Rating: C. This wasn’t the best match as Mabel is so big that you can only do so much with him and Mo just wasn’t very good. The Quebecers were a good team but they weren’t exactly miracle workers. Men on a Mission was a fun team just because of how bright and colorful they were, but you’re only able to get so far with this kind of a matchup.

Wrestlemania VI was the Ultimate Challenge, which proved that no one was unbeatable. In other words, pay no attention to that loser about to sign with WCW.

Donnie Wahlberg (of New Kids on the Block) and Rhonda Shear are the ring announcer and timekeeper.

WWF Title: Yokozuna vs. Lex Luger

Luger is challenging and Mr. Perfect is the surprise guest referee (in a referee shirt and matching pants for a different, yet still perfect, look). Yokozuna has Jim Cornette and Mr. Fuji with him for quite the numbers advantage. Vince is doing everything that he can to make fans care about Luger, even calling him the embodiment of the spirit of America. Maybe calling him the embodiment of the spirit of someone who won the WWF Title at some point might help.

They glare at each other to start until Luger starts hammering away. The right hands put Yokozuna on the floor but Luger tosses him back inside, actually having learned his lesson from Summerslam. Back in and Luger goes up (Huh?) for a high crossbody (HUH?) for two, setting up the jumping elbow (which actually connects for a change) for two more. Luger tries a slam but Yokozuna falls onto him for the crash, meaning it’s time to start the slow beatdown.

Yokozuna pulls off the turnbuckle pad and we hit the nerve hold, which means putting his hand on Luger’s neck and not even pretending to squeeze. Luger starts fighting up and elbows his way out, only to get knocked down again. Some hard chops to the neck set up another nerve hold, which goes on for another minute plus before Luger is sent outside. Back in and we hit the nerve hold AGAIN, with Luger giving a look of boredom rather than pain, as this match is so far beyond dead that it’s actively turning into a zombie so it can die again.

Luger fights up and gets knocked down again, setting up the fourth nerve hold in a match that is just over eleven minutes long so far. That one is broken up as well but Yokozuna hits a belly to belly suplex. A missed charge sends Yokozuna into the exposed buckle though and Luger makes the clothesline comeback to put Yokozuna down.

Now the slam works (Lawler: “THAT WAS A HIPTOSS! THAT WAS A HIPTOSS!”) and Luger hits the loaded forearm. Mr. Fuji and Cornette come in but get decked, only to have Mr. Perfect not count with the two of them still in the ring. Luger yells at Perfect and shoves him, which is enough for the DQ at 14:38.

Rating: D-. This was absolutely dreadful and one of the worst major Wrestlemania matches of all time. Yokozuna could barely move and had to go to the same lazy hold four times in less than fifteen minutes. I know he’s huge and can’t move much, but maybe that means it is time for him to figure out something else. That didn’t help things, but it also exposed the other issue with Luger’s big push.

In addition to Yokozuna being terrible, Luger looked AWFUL here, as he did almost nothing but right hands and clotheslines. There are things you can do with an opponent the size of Yokozuna but Luger went as basic as possible, just like he did at Summerslam. At the same time, Luger looked bored out there with almost no charisma or anything close to it. Neither guy was putting in much effort here and it showed badly, as the fans calling the whole thing BS at the end being rather telling.

We go to the back where Mr. Perfect says you can’t touch a referee or you get disqualified. Luger comes in to yell at him but referees separate them. This was supposed to be a long term followup on Luger knocking Perfect out cold last year at Wrestlemania but Perfect left the company before it could go anywhere.

Vince and Lawler talk about the match, with Vince having to acknowledge the BS chants.

There was a blindfold match at Wrestlemania VII. THAT’S the match you pick from that show?

Harvey Wippleman yells at Howard Finkel about being a stupid New Yorker who has big ears and fake hair. He doesn’t like Fink’s suit either and rips it up, so Fink fights back. Cue Adam Bomb to go after Fink, but Earthquake of all people makes the save.

Earthquake vs. Adam Bomb

Powerslam and the Earthquake finishes Bomb at 34 seconds. I’m going to assume this was a time issue.

Jim Cornette isn’t happy with how the match with Luger went but all that matters is who has the belt. He loved Mr. Perfect’s officiating and remember that BOTH PARTIES agreed on the referee choice. As for Bret Hart, what matters is whether he makes it through the match with his career intact. Bret already lost to his brother and has a bad knee but he still has to face this monster. Cornette knew how to hype someone up like few others could.

Wrestlemania VIII had an Undertaker….something. No match or opponent is mentioned, but he sure was there.

Intercontinental Title: Razor Ramon vs. Shawn Michaels

Ramon is defending and the title is hanging above the ring, because this is the ladder match. Ring announcer: “There are NO RULES.” He then explains how you win the title, which sounds a lot like rules. This is fallout from Shawn being suspended while still champion and being stripped of the title. Ramon won it, but then Shawn came back and said he was the real champion. Therefore, hang them both above the ring and see who can pull them down. Diesel is here with Shawn, meaning Razor has to keep glancing down at him.

Ramon blocks an early hiptoss attempt and hits a hard chokeslam (Razor was one of the first to really use that around here and it’s never remembered). Shawn comes right back with a running neckbreaker and starts hammering away as the cameraman has to avoid a referee. A charging Razor is sent outside where Diesel gets in a clothesline, which earns him an ejection. The camera stays on Diesel all the way to the entrance and we come back to Shawn getting flipped upside down in the corner.

A hard clothesline puts Shawn on the floor and it’s time to pull back the ring mats. That takes too long though and Shawn is back in with some stomping. Razor isn’t having that and punches him in the face, but the Razor’s Edge over the top is countered with a backdrop to the floor onto the exposed concrete. With Ramon down holding his arm, Shawn goes to get the first ladder, which is baseball slidden into Razor’s ribs.

Back in and Shawn drives the ladder into the ribs and then slams it onto Ramon’s back to keep him in trouble. Shawn makes the first climb so razor pulls his tights down on the way up for the save. Since that’s a bit embarrassing, Shawn kicks him down and drops the elbow to put Ramon back down. Shawn goes up the ladder and dives off with a splash for one of the most famous shots in company history.

Another climb is broken up as Razor goes simple by shoving it over. Back up and they collide for a double knockdown and a much needed breather (at least for Shawn, as Razor has mainly just been getting beaten up). Razor is fine enough to throw Shawn into the ladder in the corner for a crash to the floor, but instead of climbing, Razor drives the ladder into Shawn into the post. It works so well that he does it again and then catapults Shawn into the ladder, sending it crashing back down onto Michaels for a good looking bump.

Back in and Razor BLASTS HIM in the face with the ladder, knocking Michaels outside again. Shawn breaks that up as well but this time the ladder falls down onto him, which is quite the punishment. They both go up so Razor backdrops him over the top, only to fall as well, with the ladder bending underneath him. Shawn dropkicks the ladder to make another save and then gets smart by shoving the ladder onto Razor.

Back up again and Shawn hits a superkick, setting up another hard piledriver. Shawn heads to the top and rides the ladder down onto Razor’s in another famous shot before setting the ladder up again. That takes too long though and Razor shoves it over, with Shawn’s leg getting tied in the ropes. That’s enough for Razor to go up and pull down the titles for the win at 18:51.

Rating: A+. I could go with “it’s the ladder match” as the explanation here and it would be completely covered, but this is again almost all about Shawn, as it should be. When you look back at the whole thing, there are only a few big Razor bumps or spots at all. The rest is Shawn doing things to Razor, who is mainly laying there. Razor got the title, but Shawn got the glory and fame here, which is how it should be. This is the match that really put Shawn on the map and my goodness it is easy to see why, as he was a human pinball who made this look flawless. I would tell you it’s great, but again, it’s the ladder match.

IRS, the Headshrinkers, Rick Martel and Adam Bomb argue about who the captain is going to be in their ten man tag. Somehow, this results in the match being postponed to Raw in a few weeks.

Ted DiBiase meets the Clinton impersonator but Clinton doesn’t want to talk politics.

Wrestlemania IX was outside and Yokozuna cheated to win the WWF Title. And nothing else happened after that.

Video on Bret Hart, set to Making Some Noise by Tom Petty.

Video on Yokozuna.

It’s time for the main event so Jenny Garth is timekeeper and a seemingly hammered Burt Reynolds is guest ring announcer.

WWF Title: Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna

Yokozuna, again with Jim Cornette and Mr. Fuji, is defending and the guest referee this time is….Roddy Piper. Bret even sells the leg from earlier in the night on his way to the ring, with Yokozuna jumping him on the way in. The slow beating is on, with Yokozuna hammering him down and then standing around for a bit. Yokozuna cuts off the comeback attempt and chokes in the ropes, earning a tongue lashing from Piper.

Bret fights back again with a headbutt, which actually puts Yokozuna down, albeit after some staggering. Cornette pulls Piper out at two so Piper drops him with as much effort as you would expect. The delay lets Yokozuna knock Bret over again and the legdrop lands right on his face. Back up and Yokozuna very, very slowly hammers on Bret in the corner, only to miss the big charge.

Bret slugs away and drops the middle rope elbow, setting up the running clothesline for two. A middle rope….something is pulled out of the air to set up the belly to belly and it’s time for the Banzai Drop. That takes a good while to set up though and Yokozuna loses his balance, falling backwards in a big crash. Bret covers and Piper counts rather quickly (so quickly that he doesn’t see Yokozuna’s shoulder being off the mat) for the pin and the title at 10:33.

Rating: C-. It was better than the Luger match because it didn’t go as long, but this was another match where Yokozuna looked like he was gassed after every move. That is the reason you get the title off of him because there isn’t much that can be done with e champion who is virtually immobile after two minutes. Bret didn’t so much win the title as much as he escaped with it, but sometimes that’s all you need to do.

Post match Yokozuna goes after Piper so here is Lex Luger to shake Bret’s hands. Piper comes back as well and here is the locker room, plus the celebrities, to join them. Even Vince and Gorilla Monsoon get in there. Bret is carried on their shoulders….and here is Owen to come out and look at him, with a shake of the head to end the show. That’s great storytelling and something so simple because so many people can relate to it, plus it isn’t some long ago call back that requires some big explanation. Nice job.

Overall Rating: B. This show is kind of fascinating really. the show is beloved and considered a classic, but outside of the opener and the ladder match, the wrestling is ok at best and terrible at worst. It’s a two match show and those two matches are both all timers, but the rest of the show is around a D+. There are some long stretches without anything good going on and that makes this a bit of a chore at times.

Then there is the other part of the show that makes it so well regarded: the show felt important. This felt like a celebration of the history of the biggest WWF show and that was something worth bragging about. At the same time, look at how they celebrated it: a quick look at each of the previous editions and Vince hyping up how important the show is. That’s it. No stadium, no LOOK AT US LOOK AT US LOOK AT US and no ridiculous scripted speeches from commentary with words no one would use. It felt natural but still big, which is something that has been completely lost on WWE over the years.

Overall, this is a special show and something that every fan needs to see at least once, just for the two major matches. Both of them are Wrestlemania moments, but they are about all that is worth watching on the show. I don’t know why Lelani Kai and Earthquake are on a major show in 1994, but that isn’t what people remember. Either way, check this one out if you have the chance, because it still feels special.

Ratings Comparison

Owen Hart vs. Bret Hart

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A+
2015 Redo: A+
2022 Redo: A

Bam Bam Bigelow/Luna Vachon vs. Doink the Clown/Dink

Original: F
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D-
2022 Redo: D+

Randy Savage vs. Crush

Original: C+
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C+
2022 Redo: C

Alundra Blayze vs. Lelani Kai

Original: D-
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D-
2022 Redo: C-

Men on a Mission vs. Quebecers

Original: F
2013 Redo: F+
2015 Redo: D
2022 Redo: C

Yokozuna vs. Lex Luger

Original: F
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: F
2022 Redo: D-

Earthquake vs. Adam Bomb

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2022 Redo: N/A

Razor Ramon vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A+
2015 Redo: A+
2022 Redo: A+

Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna

Original: C+
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: D+
2022 Redo: C-

Overall Rating

Original: A
2013 Redo: A-
2015 Redo: B+
2022 Redo: B

This one has actually gone down a bit over the years as the nostalgia might be wearing off a bit.

 

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Great American Bash 2008
Date: July 20, 2008
Location: Nassau Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Attendance: 12,454
Commentators: Jim Ross, Mick Foley, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Mike Adamle

We’re wrapping up the period before the Summerslam build here and the card is one sided to put it mildly. The Smackdown side is pretty much Edge challenging HHH for the Smackdown World Title, plus a four way Tag Team Title match. On the other side, Raw has John Cena vs. JBL in a parking lot fight, CM Punk defending the Raw World Title against Batista and Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho in a grudge match. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at Vickie Guerrero and Edge’s wedding, plus HHH revealing that Edge cheated on her the night before to end Smackdown. The other big matches get some attention of their own.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Edgeheads vs. Miz/John Morrison vs. Finlay/Hornswoggle vs. Jesse and Festus

Miz and Morrison are defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Festus clears the ring as tends to be his custom before Hornswoggle comes in for a stare…uh, up. Hornswoggle rolls up his sleeves but opts to dive onto Miz and Morrison instead. We settle down to Jesse monkey flipping Miz and knocking him down again for two. Festus beats on Miz as well before handing it off to Finlay. Morrison comes in and actually takes over on Finlay before bringing Miz back in for a chinlock.

It’s back to Morrison for his own chinlock as JR continues his Morrison to Rick Rude comparisons. Finlay fights up and double legs Miz down before doing the same thing to beat on Morrison. They collide in the corner so Ryder tags himself in to hammer Finlay down. The neck crank doesn’t last long on Finlay so Hawkins comes in to keep Finlay in trouble.

The Celtic Cross hits Hawkins and a shillelagh shot gets two, with Miz and Morrison making the save. Hawkins grabs a chinlock but Finlay is back up again, this time getting over to Hornswoggle to pick up the pace. Jesse tags himself in just as fast though and the fans are not pleased with the lack of Hornswoggle. Hawkins comes back in for a cheap shot on Hornswoggle but it’s back to Festus to really clean house. Miz and Morrison are sent outside and Hawkins breaks up the Rocket Launcher to pin Jesse and win the titles.

Rating: C+. It was a fast paced opener with a bunch of moving parts but they managed to keep the focus on just a few people at a time until the ending. Hawkins and Ryder winning the titles is the right way to go as Miz and Morrison have gotten everything they can out of them and La Familia is still the biggest thing on Smackdown. Give the team some more gold, as it’s not like Jesse and Festus or Hornswoggle/Finlay are worth anything.

US Title: Matt Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin

Hardy is defending and is quickly taken to the mat to start. A small package gives Hardy two as well as a breather but Benjamin is right back with a headlock. That’s reversed into an armbar as they’re certainly starting slowly. Benjamin sends him to the apron for a ram into the post, setting up the armbar back inside. A gutbuster sets up the seated abdominal stretch as commentary talks about Benjamin’s aggression, despite there being nothing to suggest it exists here.

Hardy fights up and tries a Side Effect but gets planted with something like an STO. Back up and Hardy blocks Paydirt to start the comeback and hits the bulldog out of the corner. Hardy’s middle rope hurricanrana is countered into a heck of a buckle bomb and they’re both down. A Side Effect gives Hardy two but the moonsault…I think it was supposed to hit knees but Hardy overshot it anyway. Paydirt gives Benjamin the pin and the title.

Rating: C. The match was far from bad, but it wasn’t exactly thrilling, as it came off as more of a house show match. The ending didn’t help things either as commentary had to scramble to cover Hardy missing. It’s not like hardy was doing anything with the title anyway so switching it over to Benjamin works as well as anything else.

We see an interview from Monday, with CM Punk talking about how he’s always been the underdog. It’s not about your size or muscle and he’s in the business of proving everyone wrong, which is what he’s always done.

We look at HHH revealing that Edge cheated on Vickie Guerrero the day before their wedding.

ECW Title: Mark Henry vs. Tommy Dreamer

Henry is defending and has Tony Atlas in his corner while Dreamer has Colin Delaney. Dreamer charges at him and is quickly shoved into the corner, with Henry throwing him around again for a bonus. A hard clothesline puts Dreamer down again and Henry steps on his head as a few BORING chants start up.

Henry works on the arm (which is code for he leans over and grabs the wrist), Dreamer fights up, Henry takes him down and works on the arm again. The splash misses though and Dreamer hits the basement dropkick but has to escape the World’s Strongest Slam. The DDT puts Henry down and Dreamer goes up for no apparent reason, allowing Delaney to pull him down. Henry hits the World’s Strongest Slam to retain.

Rating: D+. This was a good example of everything that is wrong with ECW. First of all, there was no reason to believe Dreamer was going to take the title. He hasn’t been nearly that important for a long time now and it wasn’t going to change here. Second, the Delaney turn doesn’t mean much as he’s a loser who didn’t exactly become a star when he was with Dreamer. Third, the match was really boring, which is quite ECW in a lot of ways. Rather dull stuff here and by far the worst thing on the show.

We recap Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels, and thank goodness as the show needs it. Jericho claimed Michaels is a hypocrite (and was kind of right) and then took out his eye. Now Michaels is back for revenge and to prove that no matter what Jericho does, Michaels will always be better.

Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho

They lock up to start and thankfully drop that in all of two seconds to start hitting each other in the face. Shawn gets the better of things with some chops and knocks Jericho into the corner before going after the leg. The reverse Figure Four has Jericho in early trouble but he’s in the ropes pretty quickly. Shawn stays on the leg and the referee stops things for a second to check on Jericho in the corner.

Jericho is fine enough to send Shawn over the corner and out to the apron, with Shawn favoring his back. The knee is fine enough to hit a triangle dropkick out to the floor before Jericho takes him inside for a double arm crank. With that broken up, Jericho dives into an atomic drop and Shawn drops him with the flying forearm. Shawn nips up but Jericho pulls him straight into the Walls, which is counter you don’t see very often.

This time Shawn makes the rope so Jericho loads up the bulldog, only to get dropped with a clothesline for two. The top rope elbow is broken up but Shawn wins a fight on top and now the elbow connects. Cue Lance Cade to break up the superkick but Shawn blocks the Codebreaker. They slug it out again until Shawn hiptosses him out onto Cade for the big crash. Naturally Shawn is right there with a moonsault onto the two of them and everyone is down again.

Back in and Shawn’s bad eye is busted open, with commentary not being sure when it was cut. Naturally Jericho goes right after the eye and knocks him into the ropes, where Cade gets in the cheap shot. The very bloody Shawn manages to pull him into a crossface but Jericho pulls him into the buckle for the violent escape. The referee wants to stop it but Shawn begs him not to, meaning Jericho is right back on the eye. Shawn is COVERED in blood and does the “pull myself up on the other guy’s tights” spot, only to have Jericho punch him down again and hammer away….until the referee finally stops it.

Rating: B+. This took some time to get going but there is almost no one better than Shawn at making you think he was dying in front of your eyes. Shawn was trying to fight and was still in there until the injury flared up again, along with Cade offering the distraction. This felt like the big middle piece in a bigger story and they pulled me in with the emotion and hatred. Awesome match and we’re almost certainly not done yet.

We get the emotional exit for Shawn, who has to be helped out.

Edge is really not pleased with HHH for violating his privacy and taking away his personal life. All Edge has left is his professional life and tonight, he will be extra dangerous.

Divas Title: Michelle McCool vs. Natalya

For the inaugural title but commentary is to busy talking about Edge/Vickie Guerrero. They grapple to the mat to start as commentary compares McCool to softball star Jennie Finch. Natalya wheelbarrow drops her throat first over the top to take over and we hit the surfboard to stay on McCool’s….well various parts. McCool powers out so Natalya switches to the Sharpshooter. That’s broken up as well and this time McCool pulls her into the heel hook for the title.

Rating: C-. These two were in the death slot as there was almost no way they were going to be able to follow the previous match. It doesn’t help that the match was almost a Natalya squash until McCool got in her one hold for the win. It’s rather nice for the women on Smackdown to have something to do, but they could use some more blood in the division or it is going to turn old fast.

Post match here is Chris Jericho to interrupt, saying you need to save your ticket stubs because this is the night of Shawn Michaels’ last match. Shawn has a detached retina and that means his career is over. It shows that the good guys win and the wicked are punished and the worst has finally come for Shawn. Jericho was feeling the evil here and it worked.

We recap CM Punk defending the World Title against Batista. Punk won Money In The Bank and used it to become champion, meaning he needs to prove himself worthy. Batista doesn’t seem to be overly intimidated so Punk is extra motivated.

Raw World Title: Batista vs. CM Punk

Punk is defending and we go old school with a weapons check. Batista powers him around to start and Punk realizes he might need another plan. Some kicks to the legs slow Batista down but he elbows Punk in the face to cut him off. An enziguri knocks Batista outside and Punk follows him outside with a suicide dive.

Back in and Punk strikes away, only to be run over to give Batista two. The camel clutch goes on to keep Punk in trouble, which is broken up as camel clutches tend to be. Punk gets up a shot to the face in the corner and hits a high crossbody for two. The Batista Bomb is countered but a powerslam isn’t, meaning Punk has to counter the Bomb again.

Punk hits the running knee in the corner but can’t hit the GTS, instead settling for the springboard clothesline. The Anaconda Vice (been a minute since Punk used that) is broken up and Batista hits a heck of a clothesline. Batista’s charge hits the post and he falls outside, where he is able to catch a diving Punk with a spinebuster. Cue Kane to jump Batista for the DQ.

Rating: C+. They were starting to get somewhere but then just stopped for the DQ ending. This is either setting up a triple threat (erg) or Punk vs. Batista II, but Punk needs to win something on a big stage. It was bad enough that he got the title via Money In The Bank, but he’s lucky to crack the top five stars on Raw. This didn’t help things, though I guess Batista needed to be kept strong. Granted that makes me wonder why he was in the match in the first place, but I can picture Vince’s “oh it’s fine” face from here so we’ll move o.

Post match Kane lays out Punk, Batista, and a production worker. With Kane gone, Batista hits the Batista Bomb on Punk to make things even worse for the champ. Somehow this is a double DQ, despite Kane not touching Punk before the bell.

We recap John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield. With Vince McMahon gone, JBL has declared martial law but Cena isn’t having it. Now they’re going to fight in a parking lot.

John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

This is taking place in the parking lot in a circle of cars and JBL shows up in his limo, fighting in most of a suit. There’s no Cena to start so JBL gets on a hood, only to have Cena pop up in another car and ram into him. Cena chokes him with a cord and then slams a car hood onto JBL’s back. Some jumper cables to the crotch set up some electrocution and JBL screams a lot.

JBL is put on another hood and Cena throws a well placed keg, only to hit windshield. With JBL trying to drive away, Cena grabs him for some rams into the horn. JBL fights back to little avail but manages to whip Cena through a car door, knocking it off the hinges. Cena gets punched off a car for two and then sent through the windshield of another for the big crash.

A crowbar shot misses for JBL and Cena slugs away but JBL sends him through a window. With nothing else working, JBL goes to grab some gasoline (with his limo rolling away) and douses one of the cars (with Cena inside). The car is lit on fire and promptly extinguished, with an annoyed looking Cena getting out. JBL goes over to a forklift but Cena is there to send him into another car.

Now Cena gets in the forklift and gores said car, only to lift it up and carry it into the arena. Commentary kicks in as Cena knocks JBL around and plants him with the ProtoBomb onto the stage. Cena loads up the FU but walks JBL over to the edge of the stage, only to take too long as JBL slips off. JBL sends him off the stage and through a windshield for the upset win.

Rating: C-. This was quite the situation and I wasn’t wild on most of it. They had a bunch of slow brawling in the back with car stuff before coming to the arena for a few minutes. JBL had to get a win of some sort but egads this means we’re going to have to hear him talk even more, which is about as painful of a thought as I can imagine. Not exactly great here, but what are you expecting from JBL?

We recap Edge vs. HHH for the latter’s Smackdown World Title. Vickie Guerrero gave Edge the title shot before their wedding but then Edge cheated on her the day before said wedding, with HHH revealing Edge’s, uh, indiscretion. Now it’s about the title, though Edge is more than a bit distracted.

HHH has no regrets over what he did.

Smackdown World Title: HHH vs. Edge

HHH is defending and we get the Big Match Intros with a weapons check. Edge charges right at him and hammers away but gets sent outside. HHH sends him outside and grabs a neck snap across the top. A ram int the buckle has Edge on the floor again but he knocks a diving HHH out of the air. Back in and Edge hits the running shoulder in the corner before sending him outside for a whip into the steps.

A drop onto the announcers’ table keeps HHH’s ribs in trouble and Edge grabs a bodyscissors back inside. HHH fights up but gets dropkicked to the apron, where he sidesteps a spear to send Edge crashing to the floor. Back in and HHH slugs away before they go outside (again) with Edge going into the post. Edge is right back up though and grabs the Impaler on the floor, which means a rather delayed cover gets two.

HHH hits his own DDT for his own two but the Pedigree is countered into the Edge-O-Matic. The spear only hits buckle but Edge’s big boot only hits HHH’s jaw, leaving them both down again. Back up and the spear is countered into the spinebuster to give HHH a much needed breather. The Pedigree is countered again, this time with a ram into the corner. Edge takes him up top for a superplex but here is wedding planner Alicia Fox to send in the title. Cue Vickie Guerrero to take Alicia down and the catfight is on in the ring. The spear hits Vickie by mistake, allowing HHH to grab the Pedigree for the pin to retain.

Rating: B. It was good but they never came close to hitting that really high level. At the same time, it didn’t help that this was more about the Vickie/Edge stuff, with the title just kind of being there on the side. These two feel like they should have had their first big match on a more important show, but at least what they got to do here did work. It just could have been a pretty good bit better.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a perfectly fine show that should have been better than it was. There were some big matches on the card and those matches worked, but the lower card stuff is completely forgettable, even with three new champions being crowned. It’s a show where things happened, but it’s not a show that felt important. Instead, it came off like a “the big one is next time”, which doesn’t make for the most enjoyable event.

 

 

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Wrestlemania VII
Date: March 24, 1991
Location: Los Angeles Sports Arena, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 16,158
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

It’s the Gulf War show, as Hulk Hogan is fighting to get the WWF Title back from former American hero turned Iraqi sympathizer Sgt. Slaughter. If that sounds like one of the worst ideas for a Wrestlemania main event ever, you have quite the memory for these things. Other than that we have Randy Savage vs. Ultimate Warrior in a match that actually belongs in a big spot at Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is all about the stars and stripes with only Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter being shown.

Willie Nelson sings America The Beautiful.

Jim Duggan joins commentary for the first match, while saying that Hulk Hogan going after Sgt. Slaughter is like the military going after Saddam Hussein.

The Rockers know they’re ready for Haku and the Barbarian, whether they are part of the Heenan Family or not.

Rockers vs. Haku/Barbarian

Haku and Barbarian, with Bobby Heenan, are already in the ring in a move that could cut down on so much Wrestlemania time these days. Shawn and Haku start things off as the fans are already yelling about Heenan. Haku whips him into the corner a few times but a shoulder and some right hands get Shawn out of trouble. Marty comes in for the double elbow but Barbarian clotheslines both Rockers inside out.

Back up and a double superkick drops Barbarian and it’s time for pointers with the Brain (jot that down for a talk show idea). We settle back down to Marty sunset flipping Barbarian for two before working over the arm. Haku comes back in for a double headbutt and an assisted hot shot has Marty in even more trouble. The gorilla press plants Marty again and Barbarian even draws Shawn in so double choking can ensue.

A hard whip into the corner gives Barbarian two more and we hit the required bearhug (What took them so long?). Marty tries to fight back but gets caught in a heck of a powerslam to cut him off again. Barbarian misses the top rope headbutt though and there’s the tag to Shawn. House is quickly cleaned, including a middle rope crossbody to Barbarian. Everything breaks down and it’s a double clothesline to Barbarian. Marty missile Barbarian and Shawn adds a high crossbody for the pin at 10:33.

Rating: C+. The middle felt a little bit long but this was a perfectly fine power vs. speed tag match. The Rockers are one of the better speed teams from around this time and they were a great choice for an opener. Haku and Barbarian on the other hand were perfectly acceptable monsters, making this a rather nice way to get the crowd fired up. It would have been a heck of a house show match (and probably was more than once) and that worked well in this spot.

We get our celebrity interviews with Regis Philbin (scared of Earthquake), Marla Maples (future wife of Donald Trump and tonight’s guest timekeeper) and Alex Trebek (Jeopardy jokes abound). I love Jeopardy and Regis can be funny, but these are about as cringe as you can get.

Dino Bravo vs. Texas Tornado

Jimmy Hart is here with Bravo, who jumps Tornado at the bell and clotheslines him out to the floor in an early heap. Back in and Tornado slugs away but can’t get the Claw. Bravo knocks him down again and drops an elbow for two, setting up the side slam. The delayed cover gets two and there’s a middle rope elbow to the back of Tornado’s head. Bravo goes up but dives into the Claw, setting up the Tornado Punch for the pin at 3:11.

Rating: D. This is the match that I cite for why I don’t redo every Wrestlemania (or any show) very often. There are only so many ways you can talk about a nothing match like this with no build and almost no time. Tornado was past his expiration date and Bravo would be gone, save for mostly house shows, after this, so what were they supposed to do here?

Slick and the Warlord are ready to beat British Bulldog. Sweet goodness I was scared of Warlord’s half mask back then and it’s still an awesome look to this day.

Bulldog says he can powerslam Warlord.

British Bulldog vs. Warlord

Slick is here with Warlord but Bulldog has his mascot Winston (he’s no Matilda). This is power vs. power so Warlord starts with the clubbing forearm to the back. Bulldog runs him over with some shoulders and Warlord is already on the floor for a breather. Back in and Warlord counters the crucifix into something like a Samoan drop as things slow way back down. The bearhug goes on for a bit before Bulldog charges into a hot shot to cut the comeback right back off.

We hit the chinlock, with Heenan even complaining about how sloppy Warlord has it on. With that broken up, Bulldog dropkicks him into the corner and hammers away, setting up a crossbody for two. The piledriver is blocked so Bulldog settles for two off a sunset flip instead. Bulldog misses a charge though and Warlord gets most of the full nelson, minus the fingers being locked. The incomplete version is broken up and Bulldog hits the powerslam for the pin at 8:10.

Rating: C. This was another house show style match as Bulldog gets an impressive win, with that powerslam still looking great. Warlord is up there with the most generic monster villains you can get but he looked good enough that beating him still felt like something of a big deal. These two could have some nice power matches though and they made a basic story work well here.

The Nasty Boys, with Jimmy Hart, are ready to win the Tag Team Titles, even if it means beating the Hart Foundation. They destroy Gene handkerchief to warm up.

The Hart Foundation are ready for a fight but say the Nastys can’t crack, move or break the foundation.

Tag Team Titles: Hart Foundation vs. Nasty Boys

The Nastys, with Jimmy Hart (in a helmet), are challenging and Macaulay Culkin is in the audience, with Monsoon thankfully recognizing him. Sags punches away at Bret to start but Bret is back with a Thesz press and right hands (….hey). Bret cuts off a kick to the ribs and stomps Sags in the abdomen (or bread basket, whichever you prefer). Knobbs comes in to hammer on Neidhart in the corner, which of course is just fine with Neidhart.

The hard shoulders send Knobbs to the floor before it’s time to work on the arm back inside. It’s back to Sags, who gets taken down again by Neidhart, allowing Bret to hammer away as well. The Russian legsweep into the middle rope elbow connects but Bret has to cut off an interfering Knobbs. That’s enough for Sags to get in a cheap shot so the Nastys can actually take over for a change.

Bret is knocked to the floor for a breather, followed by a hard whip into the corner back inside as the pace stays slow. The reverse chinlock goes on for a good while before Knobbs comes in for one of his own. Sags grabs a third reverse chinlock, followed by Knobbs dropping elbows to the bad back.

Make that four reverse chinlocks until Bret finally avoids a charge in the corner. The tag to Neidhart isn’t seen but Knobbs runs into Sags by mistake, allowing Neidhart to come in legally. House is cleaned and a powerslam gets two on Knobbs. The Nastys collide again and the Hart Attack hits Knobbs. There’s no referee though, allowing Sags to get in a shot with Jimmy’s helmet to give Knobbs the pin and the titles at 12:00.

Rating: C. There were good sections, but how in the world can four straight reverse chinlocks be the best you have? Mixing it up at least a little big really shouldn’t be too much to ask but apparently that wasn’t going to happen here. This was a way to get some fresh blood in the tag division, which would be needed as the Harts were more or less done after this, with Bret moving into his singles career.

We recap Rick Martel vs. Jake Roberts. Martel went to spray Jake’s snake bag with cologne (because reasons) but sprayed Jake in the eyes. Roberts was blinded as a result, though he managed to DDT Brother Love at one point. His eyes were messed up for months but now he’s back for a blindfold match.

Roberts says snakes have five senses but they always do it better in the dark.

Jake Roberts vs. Rick Martel

They’re both in hoods and if you ignore being able to see the eye hole when Jake puts his on, it makes for a good visual. Roberts goes smart early on by having the crowd help him find Martel. There’s no contact for the first minute until both of them stumble over the other a bit. Jake gets two off a rollup and then steps around Martel’s backdrop attempt (because that’s the kind of thing you do when you can’t see).

The pointing thing results in a collision and a pair of missed charges. Then to mix it up a bit, they miss each other again. Martel finally catches him with a slam but misses the elbow drop as Gorilla and Bobby suddenly can’t hear each other. Martel corners the referee in the corner as Jake is in another corner to start the pointing. With that not working, Jake starts clapping to get Martel to come over. This one actually works, but they crash into the ropes. Heenan: “Why doesn’t Martel lift the hood up and peak?” Gorilla: “That’s cheating!” Heenan: “SO WHAT???”

A headlock doesn’t work for Jake as Martel sends him outside. Heenan: “Excuse me. MARTEL! HE’S ON THE FLOOR!” Martel follows him out and pokes around with a chair, with the swing only hitting the post. Back in and Martel hits a backbreaker to set up the Boston crab. With that broken up in a hurry (so much for Martel’s finisher), Jake grabs the DDT for the pin at 8:31.

Rating: D. This match isn’t something that works well on second viewings, as there are so many instances where it is clear that they can see each other. Roberts getting the win is the feel good moment, but it took its sweet time getting there. Not as completely horrible as I remember it, but it doesn’t work very well if you’re paying attention.

Post match Jake busts up the Arrogance atomizer and puts Damien on Martel.

Marla Maples is in the locker room where the Nasty Boys, Jimmy Hart and the Mountie are celebrating the Tag Team Title win. Dino Bravo and Earthquake come in with more champagne and Marla is surrounded. That’s it for her, as this isn’t exactly a great celebrity cameo. What exactly was nasty about a big celebration anyway?

Jimmy Snuka vs. The Undertaker

Paul Bearer is here with Undertaker of course. Snuka stares at Undertaker as we cut to Bearer looking….well weird to everyone else, normal for him. Undertaker sends him into the corner a few times before knocking Snuka outside in a heap. A suplex brings Snuka back in but he manages a few strikes for a breather. Snuka’s missed charge only hits ropes though and it’s another crash to the floor, followed by the Tombstone to make Undertaker 1-0 at Wrestlemania at 4:20.

Rating: D+. It’s always kind of interesting that one of the most important things in the company’s history started off as such a nothing match. This was little more than a squash as Snuka had absolutely nothing. The Tombstone alone was worth a look, though Undertaker was still figuring a lot of things out at this point.

We recap Randy Savage vs. Ultimate Warrior in a career threatening match. Savage wanted a shot at Warrior’s WWF Title but got turned down (despite Sherri’s suggestive advances). As a result, Savage cheated like crazy to cost Warrior the title to Sgt. Slaughter. Warrior wants revenge, and their careers are on the line. This is FAR more interesting than the real main event as it has a more personal story and could go either way.

Randy Savage vs. Ultimate Warrior

Before the match, Heenan spots Miss Elizabeth in the crowd, looking a bit distraught. Savage, with Queen Sherri, gets his big throne entrance and Warrior makes it weird by walking to the ring. They take their time to get going until Warrior powers him away. Savage bounces off of him and it’s time for a breather on the floor. Back in and Warrior chokes away before hitting an atomic drop, though things are still moving fairly slowly.

Sherri’s interference fails and Warrior punches Savage down again. Savage finally comes back with that running clothesline but Warrior pulls a high crossbody out of the air (that’s always impressive). Instead of slamming Savage down though, Warrior sits him down to start up the mind games. Said games cause Savage to throw in a chair but Warrior punches him down again. Warrior finally misses a charge into the corner though and Sherri stomps away on the floor.

Savage’s top rope ax handle has a bit more impact but Warrior shoves Sherri down anyway. A posting drops Warrior and Sherri, not taking this lying down, kicks away at Warrior. As Gorilla says this is officially the largest pay per view audience in the history of pay per view, Warrior gets two off a backslide for a breather. Warrior hits the clothesline and runs the ropes a bunch, only to miss the shoulder.

Savage grabs the chinlock for a bit before Warrior fights up. A double clothesline gives us a double knockdown and they’re both rather winded. Back up and Warrior actually grabs a small package but Sherri has the referee. Savage knees Warrior in the back to send him into the referee and now things are getting going. Sherri comes in off the top with her shoe but hits Savage by mistake, meaning it’s time for Warrior to go a-stalking.

A rollup (seemingly with trunks) gives Savage two and he sends Warrior hard into the corner. Savage clotheslines him in the back of the head and drops the top rope elbow. Then he drops the top rope elbow. Then he drops the top rope elbow. Then he drops the top rope elbow. Then he drops the top rope elbow….for two, just in case you didn’t know who was winning here.

Warrior Warriors Up and hits the shoulders into the gorilla press drop. The Warrior Splash connects for two and now Warrior is stunned. Warrior looks up, then looks at his hands, and starts walking up the aisle. Instead of taking the countout, Savage jumps him from behind and goes up top, only to miss his dive onto the barricade. Back in and Warrior’s flying shoulder sends Savage outside again. They get back in and do it again, as Savage’s bumps off the shoulder here are awesome. A third running shoulder sends Savage outside again and Warrior throws him back inside. Savage is DONE and Warrior gets the pin at 20:47.

Rating: A-. This felt like an epic showdown between two top stars and that is what it was supposed to be. You don’t get this kind of a match very often around the WWF and they made it work on every front. The ending scene of Savage being completely defeated made it look like the better man won, even with Savage and Sherri cheating every chance they could. Outstanding match here and it still more than holds up.

Post match Warrior leaves and Sherri berates Savage as he still can’t get up. She even kicks him over and over….until Elizabeth jumps the barricade and chases Sherri off (the ultra rare instance of her getting physical). Savage finally gets up and sees Elizabeth, leaving him very confused. Elizabeth stretches out her arms and Savage finally hugs her to a huge roar. Savage puts her on his shoulder and then holds the ropes open for her, because things have finally changed before them.

This is the moment that can still bring a bit of a tear to the eye of fans of my generation because it was YEARS in the making and the fans were begging Savage to take her back by the end. It’s Savage FINALLY being at peace and getting his happy ending after leaving it all in the ring. This is still one of the best things that WWE has ever done and it still gets to me, even if I’ve seen it dozens of times.

And now, a debate on instant replay in wrestling, with Vince McMahon moderating the discussion between New York Yankees owner George Steinbrenner and NFL analyst Paul Maguire. Steinbrenner wants instant replay but if it takes more than a minute to get the call right, fire them. Vince: “What do you mean fire him? Like, from his job?” Maguire doesn’t like the idea and insults Steinbrenner over his comments. We get an instant replay, as looked at by the Bushwhackers, which results in the tape being ruined. Their ruling: the tape is inconclusive, therefore the play stands. This was bizarre to put it mildly, which might be why it isn’t on the Peacock version.

We run down what is left on the show as this feels like an intermission. Gorilla and Bobby talk about what has gone on so far, with Heenan saying if he was Savage, he would rather have some money than a skirt.

Regis Philbin interviews Undertaker and Paul Bearer, with Undertaker taking measurements for….reasons. Puns about being alive ensue.

Alex Trebek interviews Demolition, with Mr. Fuji, who yell a lot and scare Trebek a bit. Trebek tries to turn it into something Jeopardy-ish and the yelling gets has him throwing it back to Regis.

Regis tries to talk to Genichiro Tenryu and Koji Kitao about their match but can only use Japanese company names. They want to know where Kathy Lee (the co-host of his talk show) is and it doesn’t go well.

Jake Roberts and Damien scare Trebek off. Roberts tells Damien that he’ll have to settle for the home version of Jeopardy.

Those four segments? They were really, really bad.

Genichiro Tenryu/Koji Kitao vs. Demolition

This is Crush/Smash, with Mr. Fuji, in the very last try to push the team as meaning anything. Tenryu and Kitao are here as part of a partnership with Tenryu’s SWS promotion. Demolition jumps Kitao to start but Kitao knees Crush against the ropes. A distraction lets Smash get in a shot from behind though and Demolition takes over. Crush hits a top rope ax handle to the back as the fans aren’t exactly interested here. Kitao gets over for the tag off to Tenryu, who misses a top rope elbow. The Demolition Decapitator is loaded up but Kitao makes a save. Tenryu enziguris Smash and a powerbomb gives Tenryu the pin at 4:40.

Rating: D. Call it a style clash, call it Demolition being worthless at this point or call it the WWF not getting why this would be a bad idea, but this really did not work in any sense. The Ax/Smash version of Demolition was great, but the Crush/Smash version was Demolition in name only. This was more or less it for Demolition and based on this, that is the best thing for everyone involved.

Big Boss Man is tired of Bobby Heenan talking about his mama and has run through the Heenan Family. Now Mr. Perfect, and the Intercontinental Title, are all that’s left.

Bobby Heenan references the Rodney King beating and promises you’ll see something similar when Mr. Perfect beats up the Big Boss Man.

Intercontinental Title: Big Boss Man vs. Mr. Perfect

Boss Man is challenging after spending months beating up the rest of the Heenan Family (Rick Rude was originally going to be included but he left the company in the fall). Alfred Hayes is joining commentary to replace Heenan, who is in Perfect’s corner. Boss Man catches Perfect’s towel and cleans himself off with it, much to Perfect’s annoyance. Perfect gets knocked around as the beating is on, including Perfect charging into a boot in the corner.

There’s the big toss over the top and you know Perfect is going to take a huge bump off that one. Back in and Boss Man takes off his belt, only to have Perfect take him away and start hammering him down. Some shots to the back keep Boss Man in trouble and we hit the abdominal stretch. With that broken up, a good looking dropkick gives Perfect two and the neck snap makes it worse.

The PerfectPlex is countered into a small package for two but Perfect knocks him down again. Perfect goes up and dives onto a raised boot, setting up the ram into the buckle for another huge Perfect bump. Boss Man crotches him against the post but a Heenan distraction lets Perfect send him into the steps.

With the numbers advantage causing issues, Andre the Giant (oh boy) comes out to….well it’s not exactly even but it definitely changes things. As you might expect, Heenan panics so Perfect goes after Andre, who smacks him in the face with the Intercontinental Title. A VERY delayed cover gets two and here are Haku and Barbarian to jump Boss Man for the DQ at 10:46.

Rating: C. There was a lot going on here but I still don’t get why Boss Man didn’t win the title. That would seem to be the most obvious ending but instead it just goes nowhere, with Boss Man getting the “feel good” win. Perfect very easily could have wont he title back a month or so later, but at least we got one more Andre appearance where he looked somewhat mobile.

Gene Okerlund interviews……Donald Trump, who hopes to have Wrestlemania back in Atlantic City. Chuck Norris is here too, and thinks the wrestlers are great athletes, even name dropping Argentina Rocca of all people. Henry Winkler is happy the Ultimate Warrior won. Lou Ferrigno finds this really entertaining. I need a Christmas special where those four get together and save Santa Claus.

Earthquake vs. Greg Valentine

Jimmy Hart is here with Earthquake. This is my regular chance to ask what the heck the WWF was thinking by making Valentine a good guy around this time. Earthquake starts fast and hits an early powerslam for two as the dominance seems to be on. Valentine avoids a charge in the corner and slowly hammers away. A running elbow to the head actually puts Earthquake down on one knee and a middle rope version actually knocks him down. The Figure Four is blocked and Hart offers a distraction, allowing Earthquake to drop the elbow. The Earthquake finishes Valentine at 3:17.

Rating: D+. The match was fine enough and Valentine got in some offense, but there is only so much that you can get out of this situation. Earthquake cleaned Valentine out and beat him without much effort. I’m still not sure who saw Valentine as a good guy but to call it a flop would be too kind.

The Legion of Doom promise to make Power And Glory sour and gory. That’s a heck of a line.

Legion of Doom vs. Power And Glory

Slick is here with Power And Glory. The Doomsday Device finishes Roma at 58 seconds and the LOD wants the Tag Team Titles.

We recap Virgil vs. Ted DiBiase. Virgil had been mistreated for years and FINALLY snapped at the Royal Rumble after a tag match with DiBiase. Roddy Piper has been supporting Virgil, despite Piper being in a horrible motorcycle accident that has left him barely able to walk at the moment.

Virgil vs. Ted DiBiase

Roddy Piper is here with Virgil, who punches DiBiase outside to start. With DiBiase back inside, Virgil punches him right back to the floor. Back in again and DiBiase gets clotheslined to the floor as the frustrations continue. A slower DiBiase gets back inside and this time a few shots slow Virgil down.

The beating is on, including a piledriver for two as commentary talks about how big of a show this has been. A suplex drops Virgil again and DiBiase heads outside to deck Piper. Back in and a powerslam gives DiBiase two but Piper uses his crutch to low bridge DiBiase to the floor. DiBiase goes after Piper but gets counted out at 7:42.

Rating: C-. As has been said, the problem with Virgil is that there just wasn’t anything there in the ring. His punches were his best weapon, as other than that, he was as generic as you could get. Getting the win over DiBiase was a nice moment, but they didn’t exactly make it feel like a big deal. It would have been too much to see Virgil pin him, but this wasn’t exactly thrilling.

Post match DiBiase goes after Piper’s knee again, with Sherri running in to help with the beating. Some crutch shots to the knee have Piper in trouble but Virgil gets up for the save. Piper is in agony but Virgil tells him to get up. Then Piper gets up with Virgil’s help.

Sean Mooney sends us to a recap of Sgt. Slaughter vs. Hulk Hogan. Slaughter has been playing by a new set of rules, including burning a Hulk Rules shirt. Adnan and Slaughter come in, with Adnan ranting a lot before we look at Slaughter jumping Hogan recently. Slaughter threatens to get himself disqualified or counted out in the main event. It doesn’t help that Slaughter getting disqualified or counted out was his best chance to retain the title.

Mountie vs. Tito Santana

Just in case the show hasn’t gone on long enough yet. Santana knocks him outside to start and hammers away back inside but Jimmy Hart slips Mountie the shock stick. One electrocution (and a joke about bad Mexican food from Heenan) and Santana is done at 1:21. This might be the all time definition of needless filler.

Hulk Hogan promises to use secret weapons to win the WWF Title. And no, a beating from Sgt. Slaughter isn’t slowing him down.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Slaughter, with General Adnan, is defending, Marla Maples is the guest timekeeper, Alex Trebek is the guest ring announcer and Regis Philbin is on commentary. Hogan chases Adnan and Slaughter around to start before Slaughter even takes the belt off. We then pause for Slaughter to get ready before hitting the stall button for a bit longer. They lock up (accidentally knocking the referee down) and slaughter is sent into the corner.

Back up and Hogan runs him over with a shoulder, sending the champ outside. Slaughter grabs a chair but Hogan is waiting for him. Instead they head back inside, where Slaughter pokes him in the eye to take over. Heenan has to explain some of the backstory to Regis as Hogan slugs away to put Slaughter in the corner. Some rams into the buckle keep Slaughter in trouble as this isn’t exactly thrilling so far.

There’s a backdrop to Slaughter and a running knee sends him into the corner again. A catapult into the corner sets up the raining down right hands but Slaughter knocks a diving Hogan out of the air. Hogan shrugs that off and drops a bunch of elbows before going to the top (oh dear) where Adnan’s distraction lets Slaughter slam him down. Now a chair to the back can keep Hogan down on the floor, followed by the slow beating back inside.

Slaughter complains about the speed of a two count and the referee yells right back. The Boston crab goes on, all of four inches from the rope, so Hogan tries to power out anyway. With that not working, Hogan grabs the rope to escape, which feels pretty out of character. Some knees to the back set up a top rope knee to the back but for some reason Adnan distracts the referee, allowing Hogan to kick out.

A chair to the head busts Hogan open so Slaughter pounds away on the head and grabs the camel clutch. Hogan powers up again and escapes but Slaughter sends him into the corner. Slaughter puts the Iraqi flag onto Hogan and that’s enough for the Hulk Up. Said flag is destroyed and Hogan throws the punches, setting up the big boot and leg to get the title back at 20:22. Monsoon: “The war is now officially over.”

Rating: C+. The problem here is that it isn’t a bad match, but it might be the most obvious result in the history of….well perhaps human kind. Desert Storm was already over so this was just a formality, as Slaughter was a short form champion from the second he won the belt. Hogan did his normal match here, albeit a bit longer than usual, and the Hulk Up was short even by his standards. It’s completely fine, but with the war already over, it was nowhere near the feel good, special moment they were hoping it would be.

Hogan poses and waves the American flag to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This is a show that has good pieces but DESPERATELY needed to be trimmed down. Would anyone have missed Earthquake vs. Valentine, Santana vs. Mountie or Von Erich vs. Bravo? The main event is on the lower end of Wrestlemania main events and the celebrity stuff is horrid. At the same time, Warrior vs. Savage is a classic and there is some other good stuff in there, but they really needed to cut this down by at least thirty minutes to get rid of some of the drag.

 

Ratings Comparison

Rockers vs. Haku/Barbarian

Original: B
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B
2023 Redo: C+

Texas Tornado vs. Dino Bravo

Original: F
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D-
2023 Redo: D

British Bulldog vs. Warlord

Original: B-
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: C-
2023 Redo: C

Nasty Boys vs. Hart Foundation

Original: C-
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: C+
2023 Redo: C

Jake Roberts vs. Rick Martel

Original: F
2013 Redo: F
2015 Redo: F-
2023 Redo: D

Undertaker vs. Jimmy Snuka

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D
2023 Redo: D+

Ultimate Warrior vs. Randy Savage

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A
2015 Redo: A
2023 Redo: A-

Genichiro Tenryu/Koji Kitao vs. Demolition

Original: W (For What were they thinking)
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D-
2023 Redo: D

Big Boss Man vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: C-
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C+
2023 Redo: C

Earthquake vs. Greg Valentine

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: F+
2015 Redo: D
2023 Redo: D+

Legion of Doom vs. Power and Glory

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2023 Redo: N/A

Virgil vs. Ted DiBiase

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D+
2023 Redo: C-

The Mountie vs. Tito Santana

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2023 Redo: N/A

Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Original: C+
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C+
2023 Redo: C-

Overall Rating

Original: C
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: B-
2023 Redo: C-

I’ve really come down on this one over the years and other than maybe boosting up Savage vs. Warrior a bit more, I’m not sure how I had some of those earlier ratings.

Here is the original if you’re interested:

The 2013 Edition:

And the 2015 Edition:http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/16/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-vii-no-that-isnt-a-tear-in-my-eye/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Royal Rumble 2023
Date: January 28, 2023
Location: Alamodome, San Antonio, Texas
Attendance: 51,338
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Pat McAfee

As usual, it’s hard to believe that a year has passed since this show and now we get to see how it holds up. There are of course two Royal Rumble matches, plus Kevin Owens getting another title shot against Roman Reigns. The bigger story though is Sami Zayn, who has been having some issues with Reigns, his Bloodline boss, coming into the show. Let’s get to it.

Musician Hardy talks about knowing what it takes to become someone. We get some previews of the show’s big matches. Well as many big ones as you can on a card with five matches. Hardy says when you get the chance, kick the door down.

The announcers welcome us to the show….and Pat McAfee is here as a surprise commentator. Graves is FURIOUS and Cole sounds shocked that he’s here. Cole isn’t sure how McAfee could be here when he talked to him on Face Time earlier today. McAfee: “Yeah I lied straight to your face.” Graves’ reaction alone is worth a listen as he won’t stop yelling.

Men’s Royal Rumble

90 second intervals with Gunther in at #1 and Sheamus is in at #2. Believe it or not, they go straight to slugging it out with a collision not getting anywhere. Gunther tries to toss him out so Sheamus rakes the eyes for the break. The Irish Curse isn’t enough to get rid of Gunther and it’s the Miz in at #3. Since it takes about thirty seconds to get to the ring, Gunther is back up and trying to toss Sheamus before Miz can even get inside. Miz finally runs inside and gets chopped down by Gunther, leaving Sheamus to hammer Gunther in the corner. Sheamus and Gunther try to toss each other until Kofi Kingston is in at #4.

Kingston high crossbodies Miz and Gunther and kicks Sheamus in the face for a bonus. Back up and Sheamus sends him to the apron but can’t get rid of him just yet. No one can get rid of anyone else so Johnny Gargano is in at #5. The slingshot spear hits Kofi and there’s an enziguri to Miz. For some reason Gargano loads up some forearms to Miz’s chest, only to have Sheamus glare him away. Some kicks to the face put Miz out, leaving a bunch of people to go after Gunther.

Xavier Woods is in at #6 and New Day starts to clean house on everyone else. Kofi and Woods tease fighting each other but do a….we’ll call it a dance I guess. Karrion Kross is in at #7 and goes after Woods (after another rather slow entrance, which is starting to become an issue as it takes time for anything to happen). Gunther BLASTS Kross with a clothesline but he’s right back up, meaning it’s time for a slugout with Sheamus. Chad Gable is in at #8, who gets into an amateur match with Woods, who for some reason thinks this is a good idea.

Gable German suplexes Woods down but gets decked by Kofi as Drew McIntyre is in at #9. The reverse Alabama Slam sends Gargano down onto Gable as commentary mocks Sheamus and McIntyre’s team name, which may or may not be an adult film company. McIntyre Claymores Kross out and gets to trade chops with Gunther. Santos Escobar is in at #10, giving us Gunther, Sheamus, Kingston, Gargano, Woods, Gable, McIntyre and Escobar at the one third mark. Escobar goes after Gable but has to slip out of Sheamus’ forearms to the chest.

Angelo Dawkins is in at #11 and McAfee seems rather intrigued. Gunther kicks Woods out but Escobar saves Gunther from Kingston for some reason. Kingston hits a pop up double stomp to Gunther’s chest, only to be sent outside and onto a chair. The idea is for one foot to stay on said chair…but yeah he’s out anyway. Not that it matters as Brock Lesnar is in at #12 and smashing is likely to ensue. The suplexes start fast and there go Escobar, Dawkins and Escobar.

We get the Lesnar vs. Gunther staredown and the fans REALLY like that one. Since we don’t have enough power in there at the moment, Bobby Lashley is in at #13. Lesnar suplexes Gunther but walks into a spear from Lashley, who takes down almost everyone else. A clothesline gets rid of Lesnar, which somehow didn’t set up a Wrestlemania rematch. Baron Corbin is in at #14 as Lesnar wrecks ringside.

Lesnar also wrecks Corbin, including an F5 on the floor. Things slow down in the ring and it’s Seth Rollins in at #15. Rollins throws Corbin inside and quickly eliminates him, which has McAfee very happy. Sheamus and Rollins slug it out as Otis is in at #16. Otis gets to run some people over as commentary makes sumo references. Rey Mysterio is in at #17…or not as he doesn’t show up. Rollins gets rid of Lashley in a bit of a surprise and here is Dominik Mysterio, with Rey’s mask (suggesting an attack) in at #18.

Otis is tossed during the entrance as commentary yells about how much they can’t stand Dominik. After Dominik finally gets in, Elias is in at #19 (McAfee is a big an) and goes after a variety of people. This includes breaking a guitar over Gunther, because that is a good idea. A simultaneous Claymore and Brogue Kick put Elias down and what’s left of him is eliminated.

Finn Balor is in at #20, giving us Gunther, Sheamus, Gargano, McIntyre, Rollins, Dominik and Balor. Dominik and Balor get together to dump Gargano but get stared down by Sheamus and McIntyre. Booker T. is in as a surprise at #21 and fires of some kicks into the Spinarooni. Then Gunther eliminates him without much trouble. Sheamus and McIntyre beat on Gunther (who has a cut on his back) as Damian Priest is in at #22.

That doesn’t go anywhere so it’s Montez Ford in at #23 and taking his time to get to the ring. Ford goes after the Judgment Day and is quickly tossed by Priest. Edge is in at #24 and yeah that gets a big reaction. Judgment Day gets speared down and Edge tosses Priest and Balor without much trouble. Dominik breaks up a Rollins vs. Edge showdown, allowing Judgment Day to pull Edge out as well.

Austin Theory is in at #25 but he pauses to get in as Edge has to beat up Judgment Day near the entrance. Cue Rhea Ripley to jump Edge but Beth Phoenix pops up to spear her down. Theory finally gets in and Omos is also in at #26. Sheamus and McIntyre are waiting on him but they get dropped without much effort. Gunther is the only one left to go after Omos but the chops only have so much effect. With Omos as the only one standing, Braun Strowman is in at #27.

Strowman staggers Omos with a right hand and puts him out with a running clothesline for the big elimination. Theory is sent flying into the corner and it’s Ricochet (Strowman’s partner) in at #28. Strowman uses Ricochet as a projectile but gets pummeled but Sheamus and McIntyre. The two of them get together and forearm him in the chest, with Gunther making a weird save. Gunther can’t get rid of McIntyre or McIntyre….but he can eliminate both of them at once. Wrestling is weird for you.

Logan Paul is in at #29 (big reaction) and gets jumped by almost everyone left in the ring. Paul gets away and hits a heck of a Buckshot Lariat on Ricochet but Gunther gutwrenches Paul to the apron. That’s broken up so Paul has to slug away at Strowman, who powerslams him down. Ricochet adds the shooting star but Paul is sent through the ropes instead of over.

Cody Rhodes is in at #30, giving us a final grouping of Gunther, Rollins, Dominik, Theory, Strowman, Ricochet, Paul and Rhodes (that’s a nice number for a final grouping). The pace picks up and Rhodes hits the Cody Cutter on Theory. After firing the weight belt into the crowd, Rhodes has to counter Three Amigos into Cross Rhodes. Dominik is out and Ricochet cuts Gunther off. Ricochet and Paul wind up on opposite aprons and springboard in at the same time for a heck of a mid air collision.

Cody and Ricochet get rid of Strowman but Theory dumps Ricochet to get us down to five (Rhodes, Theory, Rollins, Gunther and Paul, with the latter on the floor). The Stomp hits Theory and Rollins gets rid of him, giving us the Rhodes vs. Rollins vs. Rhodes staredown. Gunther breaks that up and gets double teamed, including a pair of Pedigrees. Rather than dumping Gunther, they fight each other but both miss finishers.

Then Paul comes back in and dumps Rollins as we’re down to three. Rhodes ducks the big right hand and hits Cross Rhodes on Paul for the elimination, leaving us with Rhodes vs. Gunther. Rhodes strikes away but the Disaster Kick is clotheslined out of the air. Gunther puts him on the top to stand on his throat and put him on the apron. Rhodes goes up top and gets toss superplexed right back down.

That’s enough to start Rhodes’ comeback and the Cody Cutter connects, setting up a running clothesline to put Gunther on the apron. Rhodes goes after the leg ad hits Shattered Dreams but Gunther is back with the running dropkick. The powerbomb plants Rhodes again as Gunther looks to be on fumes. The sleeper on the apron has Rhodes in more trouble, only to have Rhodes pull him outside as well. Back in and Rhodes is chopped out of the air but he’s fine enough to hit Cross Rhodes. A running clothesline finally gives Rhodes the win at 1:11:40.

Rating: A-. This was a pretty awesome Rumble with Gunther having the career making (because his career wasn’t made yet) performance. He was virtually unstoppable and only went down when someone who was in the match for almost an hour less took him out. Other than that, you had Sheamus and McIntyre as the monster pairing who kept fighting with everyone. The star power was strong and the action was very good, making this a great match with an excellent final sequence to boot. Heck of a Rumble.

We recap Bray Wyatt vs. LA Knight. Wyatt was back after a long hiatus and wants to be respected. Knight isn’t impressed and violence has ensued.

LA Knight vs. Bray Wyatt

This is the Mountain Dew Pitch Black match, which means neon lights and anything goes. Knight charges at him to start and gets hammers down, setting up the big toss into the corner. It works so well that Wyatt throws him out of another corner, meaning it’s time for a breather on the floor. Knight manages a whip into the steps but Wyatt sends him over the barricade.

Wyatt loads up a suplex off the steps but Knight drives him through the announcers’ table, with all of the neon stuff popping up or a weird visual. With Knight bailing into the ring, Wyatt throws a toolbox inside as well, seemingly hinting at violence. Back in and the BFT is blocked so Knight hits him with a kendo stick. Not that it matters as Knight charges into Sister Abigail for the pin at 5:04.

Rating: D. To say things have changed in the last year is a major understatement but there isn’t much of a way around the fact that this match wasn’t very good. It was a bunch of slow motion fighting and then the finish came pretty much out of nowhere. The lights were a different way to go and I’m sure WWE liked the check it brought, but the match was rather nothing.

Post match Bray puts on another mask and Knight runs away, with some kendo stick shots not having any impact. Wyatt catches him near the production area and gives him the Mandible Claw. Then Uncle Howdy pops up on top of a platform and dives onto Knight, with flames coming out of the hole. Then full size versions of the Firefly Funhouse characters look down from the platform.

Tonight’s attendance: 51,338.

Raw Women’s Title: Alexa Bliss vs. Bianca Belair

Bliss, who has been more evil as o late, is challenging. Belair powers her around to start and hits a running shoulder in the corner, followed by the right hands in said corner. Back up and Bliss gets in a few kicks of her own, setting up a backbreaker with feet into Belair’s back for the extra pain. The chinlock slows Belair down and it works so well that Bliss grabs it again.

This time Bliss says “you couldn’t just leave it alone could you”, which apparently wakes Belair up to hammer away in the corner. The handspring moonsault gives Belair two and some frustration is starting to set in. Bliss gets in another shot and slowly hammers away, setting up the jumping knees to the chest. A backsplash gives Bliss two but Belair has had enough of this and KOD’s her for the pin to retain at 7:34.

Rating: C. This version of Bliss was only going to go so far as the original “SHE’S EVIL” stuff wasn’t quite interesting. Asking fans to care for the warmed up leftovers didn’t help and it was on display here. Then you have Belair, who has cleared out the women’s division and needs a big name to come after the title. Not a terrible match, but it could have been on Raw without missing much.

Post match Belair leaves and Bliss is left in the ring, where a video of her evil days plays, complete with Uncle Howdy asking if she feels in charge. Then she would to on maternity leave and none of that would go anywhere, thank goodness.

Women’s Royal Rumble

90 second intervals and Rhea Ripley is in at #1 and Liv Morgan is in at #2. They stare each other down to start until Ripley hammers her down. A running boot drops Morgan and a delayed suplex puts her down again. Dana Brooke is in at #3 (naturally looking Barbieish) and missile dropkicks both of them down. A hiptoss into a basement dropkick hits Morgan and Brooke manages a superplex.

With Ripley down in the corner, Emma is in at #4 and grabs a neckbreaker to put Ripley down again. Everyone goes after Ripley and Shayna Baszler is in at #5 as the entrants seem to be going rather quickly here. Baszler goes after Ripley before beating up Morgan and Brooke. The arm stomp has Brooke in more trouble and it’s Bayley, who rips up a sign on the way to the ring, in at #6. Morgan is right there with Oblivion to Bayley but can’t get rid of her. More brawling is on and it’s B Fab in at #7.

Some stomping doesn’t do much for B Fab as Ripley easily tosses her out. NXT Women’s Champion Roxanne Perez is in at #8 and gets to clean some house, even taking Ripley down with a spinning headscissors. Dakota Kai is in at #9 and poses with Bayley, but a bunch of women beat him down. Iyo Sky is in at #10, giving us all of Damage CTRL, with a lineup of Ripley, Morgan, Brooke,, Baszler, Bayley, Perez, Kai and Sky.

The rest of Damage CTRL has to be saved and Sky flips around a lot. Brooke helps Emma get back in but it’s Damage CTRL tossing Brooke out. Damage CTRL kick out Emma and Perez and it’s the returning Natalya in at #11. Bayley cuts Natalya off before she can get revenge on Baszler (who put her on the shelf) and we slow down a good bit. Candice LeRae is in at #12 and hits a step up backsplash on Bayley. Baszler hammers on LeRae in the corner before getting slapped by Natalya.

The running boot misses or Baszler and Natalya sends her to the apron, only to have Baszler come back with the Kirifuda Clutch. Damage CTRL gets rid of both Baszler and Natalya as NXT’s Zoey Stark is in at #13. Stark strikes away, including a nasty looking kick to Ripley’s face. A springboard corkscrew splash hits Ripley but it’s way too early for Stark to put her out. Xia Li is in at #14 and cleans house as well, only to have Damage CTRL cut her off. LeRae fights back but Sky shoves her off the top for an elimination.

Becky Lynch is in at #15 and wants revenge on Damage CTRL for taking her out in a cage on Raw. House is quickly cleaned but Bayley sends Becky outside (not eliminated). The rest of Damage CTRL gets on Becky and throw her into the barricade/over the announcers’ table. Tegan Nox is in at #16 and gets to clean house again. Nox and Morgan beat on Stark but can’t get rid of her as Asuka, to a big reaction, is in at #17.

She unmasks as the evil clown and everyone is scared, allowing Asuka to rapidly clean house. Bayley and Asuka have a big staredown, with Asuka unloading with a variety of strikes. Bayley is sent to the apron but manages a neck snap for a breather. Asuka kicks Nox out and Piper Niven is in at #18, meaning it’s likely time to wreck some people. A running seated crossbody hits Morgan and Bayley as Tamina is in at #19.

That means a Tamina vs. Niven staredown and slugout but Lynch is back in to clean house. The returning Chelsea Green is in at #20, giving us Ripley, Morgan, Bayley, Kai, Sky, Stark, Li, Lynch, Asuka, Niven, Tamina and Green. Ripley tosses Green in about three seconds and Becky eliminates Kai and Sky, only to be eliminated by Bayley (the fans REALLY react to that). Morgan dumps Bayley right at Becky’s feet and the fight is on again. Damage CTRL and Becky brawl into the crowd and Zelina Vega is in at #21 (cosplaying as a character from Street Fighter 6 in a promotional deal).

Li and Vega strike it out on the apron until Vega kicks her to the floor. Vega’s middle rope Codebreaker hits Piper and Raquel Rodriguez is in at #22. A quick clothesline drops Ripley and a spinning slam hits Asuka. Vega is back up to kick away at Rodriguez, who puts her on the top. Michin is in at #23 and gets to fire off a bunch of kicks as a trend continues. Niven fights off a bunch of people trying to eliminate her and Lacey Evans is in at #24.

Evans’ slingshot Bronco Buster hits Morgan in the corner and a legsweep takes Stark down. Michelle McCool, in the front row, is in at #25 and gets to beat everyone up at once, including the Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) to Vega. McCool gets rid of Tamina and Indi Hartwell is in at #26. That goes nowhere so Sonya Deville is in at #7 and gets rid of Stark. Asuka and Deville kick away at each other until Evans cobra clutches Vega out. Shotzi is in at #28 with a high crossbody to Rodriguez and Niven. Deville eliminates Hartwell and Nikki Cross is in at #29.

Cross gets to beat up various people and she throws her jacket down for a bonus. With the ten second countdown not even starting, Nia Jax is in at #30, giving us a final grouping of Ripley, Morgan, Asuka, Niven, Rodriguez, Michin, Evans, McCool, Deville, Shotzi, Cross and Jax. Everyone stops to wait for Jax, who, believe it or not, runs her mouth and fights everyone but Rodriguez off. Rodriguez gets thrown down but a bunch of people go after her, with Ripley….managing something close to the Riptide.

Everyone gets together to toss Jax and Rodriguez clotheslines Evans out. Asuka pulls Rodriguez into the armbar but Asuka moves on to kicking Deville off the apron for an elimination. Ripley gets rid of McCool and Michin eliminates Shotzi. Niven LAUNCHES Michin onto Shotzi to get us down to six, with Niven belly to back suplexing Rodriguez. For some reason Niven goes up, allowing Rodriguez to kick her out as Ripley gets the Iron Woman record.

The Tejana Bomb to Ripley is countered, with Ripley tossing Rodriguez and then sending both Asuka and Cross to the apron. Morgan knocks out Cross and we’re down to Ripley, Morgan and Asuka. Ripley is sent to the apron but headbutts Morgan and pulls her out to the apron with her. Asuka joins them and mists Morgan, allowing Ripley to kick Asuka out. Morgan Codebreakers Ripley down but she hangs on and pulls Morgan out for the win at 1:01:08 (earning the Stick Stickly seal of approval).

Rating: C. I ran out of ways to say “and then this wrestler came in and they beat a bunch of people up and then nothing happened and then someone else came in.” The double Iron Women thing didn’t do much as Ripley was doing her thing here and there while Morgan was barely around. The Women’s Rumble has a tendency to be rather top heavy and that was the case here, with the Damage CTRL run, along with Becky and Ripley, being the only interesting part. It was the Ripley show and she was kind of laying around (as you tend to do in an hour long run) and that didn’t make for a good Rumble.

Hardy performs to kill some time.

We recap Kevin Owens challenging Roman Reigns for the World Title. This is much more about whether or not Sami Zayn is really part of the Bloodline or just their lackey. On the other hand, Reigns is sick and tired of Kevin Owens so it’s time to get rid of him once and for all. Zayn has insisted that he’s in the Bloodline, and even Jey Us, who never believed him, isn’t sure about Zayn anymore. Reigns has told Zayn’s final test is at the Royal Rumble, where he has to show whose side he is really on.

WWE Universal Title: Kevin Owens vs. Roman Reigns

Reigns, with Paul Heyman and Sami Zayn, is defending. They circle each other to start until Reigns hits a quick clothesline. Back up and Owens scores with an elbow to the face before stomping away at Reigns in the corner. There’s the Cannonball as Zayn is starting to look worried at ringside. Reigns rolls outside and there’s the backsplash to crush him again. Back in and Reigns hits a release Rock Bottom for two, followed by the apron boot to the face for the same.

The chinlock goes on for a bit but Owens fights up and drops Reigns again. The frog splash gives Reigns two but he’s back with a sitout powerbomb. Back up and the Superman Punch gives Reigns two more, only to have Owens send the spear into the post. Owens hits the Swanton for another near fall but botches a springboard moonsault attempt. The second attempt misses, allowing Reigns to hit a spear for another near fall.

Naturally the referee gets bumped and more naturally, there is no one to count as Owens hits the Pop Up Powerbomb. Reigns goes low to cut Owens off again and tells Zayn to throw in a chair. That goes rather slowly, allowing Owens to come back with a Stunner or a rather near fall. Zayn is breathing a sigh of relief as Heyman glares at him and the two inside slowly get up.

Another Pop Up Powerbomb is countered into a Superman Punch (that was cool) and another spear gets another two. Owens rolls outside where Zayn tells him to stay down, only to have Reigns spear Owens through the barricade. Rather than covering though, Reigns sends him head first into the steps, followed by another spear to retain at 19:13.

Rating: B-. It was a good, hard hitting fight but there was absolutely no drama as to the winner because we have been flat out told that this is all about Sami Zayn. Owens was trying, but he was just the designated challenger here and there was no way around it. Reigns could only make you believe he was in so much danger and it showed pretty badly. Not a bad match whatsoever, but the opening bell started the countdown to the spear.

Post match Reigns holds on on Zayn getting his lei, as instead he has the Usos destroy an already out of it Owens. The beating continues, including a chair being wrapped around Owens’ neck for the running Umaga attack from Solo Sikoa. Owens gets handcuffed to the ropes for some superkicks as the fans chant for Sami. Reigns grabs the chair and yells at Owens, but Zayn gets in between them, saying Owens is done.

Reigns thinks about it and then holds the chair out to Zayn, who doesn’t want to do it. Zayn: “I don’t want to.” Reigns: “I think you should.” Zayn takes the chair as Reigns shouts about how he loves Zayn while Owens keeps trying to hold him back. Does Zayn want to go do the Jackass stuff again? Zayn stands behind Reigns and slowly holds up the chair, with Reigns turning around and saying PULL THE TRIGGER. Reigns calls out Zayn for crying and shoves him in the face a few times, shouting that THIS IS MY WHOLE LIFE.

With that, Reigns turns to look at Owens again, and with the fans chanting for him, Zayn blasts Reigns in the back with the chair to one of the loudest pops you will ever hear. Jey Uso looks at Zayn and can’t believe what is going on but never touches him. Instead Jimmy superkicks Zayn down and destroys him, with Sikoa adding the Spike. Reigns tells Jey to get in on this but a broken Jey rolls to the floor and leaves without touching anyone. Reigns destroys Zayn with the chair and forearms tot he head, ripping the Honorary Uce shirt off of him to end the show.

I didn’t catch it live but as has been pointed out: that was the same way Seth Rollins turned on Reigns to end the Shield, which ties the whole story together. Reigns was so betrayed by the Shield that he turned to the only people he could trust, his family, to avoid it happening again but then the one person who wasn’t blood, turned on him. That is some top level storytelling and the fans reacted to it as a result. For wrestling, this was Shakespeare, and the tag match at Wrestlemania and then Jey siding with Jimmy was incredible, but they just couldn’t find a way to wrap it all up, at least within the next year.

Overall Rating: B-. As usual, the Royal Ruble is one of the most unique shows of the year as it is built around two matches. The first Rumble was great and the second was…well not, but this year had a special bonus. The post main event angle was an instant classic and set things off for the next several months. The show is not great and the women’s Rumble is weak, along with the other non-Rumble matches, but the two good parts carry the show far enough.

Results
Cody Rhodes won the men’s Royal Rumble last eliminating Gunther
Bray Wyatt b. LA Knight – Sister Abigail
Bianca Belair b. Alexa Bliss – KOD
Rhea Ripley won the women’s Royal Rumble last eliminating Liv Morgan
Roman Reigns b. Kevin Owens – Spear

 

Ratings Comparison

Men’s Royal Rumble:

Original: A-
2024 Redo: A-

LA Knight vs. Bray Wyatt

Original: D+
2024 Redo: D

Bianca Belair vs. Alexa Bliss

Original: C-
2024 Redo: C

Women’s Royal Ruble

Original: C
2024 Redo: C

Kevin Owens vs. Roman Reigns

Original: B-
2024 Redo: B-

Overall Rating:

Original: B
2024 Redo: B-

Yep, more or less the same as the original.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Royal Rumble 2022
Date: January 29, 2022
Location: The Dome At America’s Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 44,390
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

Somehow this show was a year ago and that might be better for everyone involved. This show was absolutely not well received and I am almost scared to see just how badly this falls down. Hopefully time has been a bit kinder to it, but you never can tell. In addition to the Royal Rumbles, we have Seth Rollins challenging Roman Reigns for the Undisputed Title and Brock Lesnar defending the WWE Title against Bobby Lashley. Let’s get to it.

I was in the stadium for this show, sitting in the upper deck with the Titantron on my right.

The opening video looks at how the Road To Wrestlemania begins here. As usual we get the Royal Rumble highlight reel and dang there have been some great moments over the years. The rest of the matches, which don’t mean nearly as much (as usual), get some attention as well.

Smackdown World Title: Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins

Reigns is defending and is currently by himself, as Paul Heyman has jumped back to Brock Lesnar and the Usos are barred from ringside. In the name of mind games, Rollins comes to the ring to the old Shield music, complete with the through the crowd entrance and gear (Of note: McAfee talks about the Shield days and says it was “Mox”, Seth and Roman”.).

Rollins goes with the grappling to start and Reigns is frustrated early. The corner clotheslines miss for Reigns and Rollins clotheslines him to the floor. Back to back suicide dives don’t do Rollins much good as Reigns knocks him out of the air back inside. They fight to the floor again though and Rollins is fine enough to hit a quick powerbomb through the announcers’ table.

Back in and the frog splash gets two but Rollins misses the Phoenix splash. Reigns’ spear is cut off by a boot to the face though and a buckle bomb into the Stomp gets a close two. Another Stomp is loaded up but Reigns blasts him with a clothesline to cut that off. Reigns’ powerbomb gets two so Rollins laughs at him, earning the big forearms to the face. The laughter is enough to let Rollins pull him into a triangle choke, which is broken up with another hard powerbomb.

They head back outside with Rollins being sent into various things, followed by a Superman Punch for two back inside. They head outside again and the spear cuts Rollins in half. Back in and another spear is countered into the Pedigree (how Rollins beat him for the title in 2016) for a rather close two.

Rollins has to elbow his way out of a Rock Bottom attempt and kicks Reigns in the face. Another spear cuts Rollins down again….but he’s still laughing at Reigns. Rollins holds out the Shield fist so Reigns pulls him into the guillotine. The referee checks the arm, with the hand falling onto the rope for the break. Well in theory at least, as Reigns doesn’t let go and it’s a DQ at 14:23.

Rating: B. This was a good match and that shouldn’t be a shock given who was in there. Any combination of the Shield guys are going to work well together and that was on display here. They tied the history of the team in well and Rollins broke Reigns down mentally, which should set up a huge rematch down the line. Granted it didn’t and this was a one off match, but it should have set something up.

Post match Reigns is all upset and slowly grabs a chair. The big beatdown leaves Rollins laying.

Women’s Royal Rumble

90 second intervals and Sasha Banks (in Sailor Moon gear) is in at #1 and Melina is in at #2. They pose at each other to start before Banks dumps her in less than a minute. That leaves Banks do to Melina’s splits pose until Tamina is in at #3. Banks dropkicks her through the ropes before Tamina can get inside, setting up the Meteora from the apron. Tamina saves herself back inside but gets caught with a quick Rey Mysterio bulldog. Running knees have Tamina in trouble in the corner but she headbutts her way to freedom.

Kelly Kelly is in at #4 and it’s strange to see her as anything but the blonde. Kelly comes in for the short form screaming headscissors but stops to dance, allowing Tamina to run her over. For some reason Kelly tries the triangle choke over the ropes on Banks and gets dumped for not thinking that through. Aliyah is in at #5 and hits a weird looking standing Thesz press to hammer on Banks. Tamina slaps Aliyah and they grapple against the ropes as Liv Morgan is in at #6.

Morgan knocks everyone down and stops for a bow, allowing Banks to hit Three Amigos. Queen Zelina is in at #7 and kicks Banks out in a pretty big upset. Tamina can’t eliminate Aliyah as Bianca Belair is in at #8. A kick to the head rocks Tamina and Belair muscles Vega up for a suplex. Belair’s handspring kick to the face can’t get rid of Morgan but she does hit Vega with a moonsault. Dana Brooke, with Reggie, is in at #9 but she does say she’ll go in on her own. Tamina saves Zelina for some reason so Brooke gives Belair a handspring elbow in the corner.

Michelle McCool is in at #10, giving us Tamina, Aliyah, Morgan, Zelina, Belair, Brooke and McCool. House is cleaned and McCool knocks Brooke….right into Reggie’s arms. The Faithbreaker hits Vega and Brooke gets tossed for good this time. Sonya Deville is in at #11 and goes over to join commentary rather than getting inside. The slow elimination attempts continue until Natalya is in at #12.

Morgan goes right at Natalya, who puts her on the apron without much trouble. It’s not quite enough for an elimination so Natalya dumps Tamina instead. More teased eliminations continue until Cameron is in at #13. Cameron cleans some of the house as Deville gets up and slides in, where she takes out Cameron without much trouble. Natalya and Deville are the only ones left standing until Naomi, who hates Deville, is in at #14.

A springboard spinning kick to the face rocks Deville and Naomi kicks her out. Carmella is in at #15 and Corey Graves certainly approves. Carmella walks around the ring as a good chunk of the other women bunched up on one side of the ring for some reason. Rhea Ripley is in at #16 and throws Carmella inside, only to get triple teamed down. Ripley shrugs that off and knocks out Carmella and Vega without much trouble.

Charlotte is in at #17 as a bunch of people go after Natalya. Aliyah is tossed out after about 23 minutes, followed by Naomi being kicked to the floor. She hangs on by her feet….but Sonya Deville is still here to pull Naomi out for the elimination anyway. Ivory, as part of the Right To Censor, is in at #18 and says nothing has changed since she was last here. It is hard for her to look at these girls and, as she gets in the ring, she says she sees a lot of wayward, lost little girls. As she is talking, Ripley picks her up and, as she is still talking, Ripley tosses her out. Ivory: “HOW DARE YOU???”

With that rather funny bit out of the way, Brie Bella is in at #19 and starts the YES chant but can’t get rid of Natalya. Ripley and Belair can’t get rid of Charlotte as Mickie James, reigning Impact Wrestling Knockouts (or Women’s, as the graphic says) Champion is in at #20. That gives us Morgan, Belair, McCool, Natalya, Ripley, Charlotte, Brie Bella and James, the latter of whom goes right after McCool. A headscissors gets rid of McCool and it’s Alicia Fox (with the brown hair instead of the blonde hair) in at #21.

Fox gets to clean some house and the referee checks on Natalya. Nikki Ash is in at #22 and we pause for her to sneak up on Ripley but, of course, she can’t eliminate her. Everyone pairs off until WWE Legend Summer Rae (AND HER SONG THAT IS SO FREAKING CATCHY) is in at #23. A slap off with Natalya goes to Rae, but Charlotte runs her over before anything can get interesting. Natalya dumps Rae and it’s Nikki Bella in at #24. House is cleaned again and the Bellas get to reunite, with Nikki knocking out Fox. Sarah Logan returns at #25, gets in a few shots, and is tossed by the Bellas.

They toss Liv as well, after a pretty ridiculous 37 minutes without an elimination. Liv and Logan get their reunion on the floor as Lita is in at #26. Mickie goes after Lita and gets DDTed, allowing Lita to get the easy elimination. Charlotte and Lita slug it out until Mighty Molly is in at #27…and gets jumped by Ash on the floor. Molly is tossed in and then eliminated by Ash, who gets in a rather long pose and stare. Ronda Rousey makes her big return at #28 and yeah this feels like a huge deal, especially with almost everyone in the ring stopping to look at her.

Ash is out fast and Nikki Bella is sent to the apron…where Brie punches her out. Shotzi is in at #29 as Rousey gets rid of Brie. Rousey goes after Belair and Natalya powerbombs Charlotte as Shayna Baszler completes the field at #30. That gives us a final grouping of Belair, Natalya, Ripley, Charlotte, Lita, Rousey, Shotzi and Baszler. Rousey and Baszler start wrecking people before squaring off instead. Charlotte interrupts that as well so Rousey kicks out Shotzi.

Belair gets rid of Natalya but Natalya comes back in, only to be tossed by Rousey as well. Lita cleans house, including a middle rope hurricanrana on Ripley. The Litasault is loaded up but Ripley breaks it up and, say it with me, Charlotte gets rid of Lita. Ripley and Rousey fight to the apron and Charlotte kicks Ripley out. Belair kicks Charlotte on the apron and spinebusters Baszler but Baszler catches her in the Kirifuda Clutch. That’s reversed into a KOD attempt but Charlotte dumps both of them. We’re down to Rousey vs. Charlotte and they square off, until Charlotte missed a boot in the corner and gets dumped at 59:45.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t exactly great and showed just how little depth there was to the women’s division at this point. Of the thirty women involved, HALF of them were legends or returning names. I know why there is a Women’s Royal Rumble, but if you need to import half of the lineup, it might be time to put it on the shelf. With six of the entrants not even making it a minute each, this was a bunch of nothing until Rousey came in and won, because part timers and returning stars rule.

Titus O’Neil and company did their local charity stuff.

Raw Women’s Title: Doudrop vs. Becky Lynch

Doudrop is challenging and attacked Lynch leading up to the title match. After the Big Match Intros, Doudrop goes with the power to send Becky outside for a breather. Back in and Becky has to bail from a Vader Bomb, leaving Doudrop to get Cannonball the steps by mistake. Becky kicks away but what looks to be a tornado DDT is blocked. The sleeper puts Doudrop down to one knee but she powers out without much effort. Doudrop’s charge goes into the post and Becky hits the missile dropkick for two.

Becky gets run over again though and a backsplash connects for two. The triangle choke has Becky in some trouble but the sitout powerbomb breaks that up fast. The Cannonball gets two but Becky is back up with a Molly Go Round for two of her own. Doudrop’s throat is snapped across the top and a top rope Fameasser gets two more. Back up and Doudrop plants her for two more, only to have another Vader Bomb countered into a super Manhandle Slam to retain the title at 12:55.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t so much bad as much as it was a lot of standing around waiting on the finish. Doudrop wasn’t about to dethrone the biggest women’s star ever, even if this is a downgraded Becky. This was Becky being given a mountain to climb and I can absolutely give them points for running a fresh challenger out there. That’s a good thing, but you need to have an entertaining match to back it up and that wasn’t the case here. When the most exciting thing in a match is the Wrestlemania sign catching on fire, you’re in big trouble.

The announced attendance is 44,390.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Bobby Lashley. They’re very similar, they’re monsters, they were amateur wrestlers, the were mixed martial artists, now they’re having a title match.

Raw World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Bobby Lashley

Lesnar is defending and has Paul Heyman with him while Lashley has MVP. They fight over a lockup to start until Lesnar snaps off a German suplex. Lashley is right back with one of his own but Lesnar hits two in a row. The F5 is countered though and Lashley hits a pair of spears to send Lesnar outside. Another spear sends Lashley through the barricade in the required big crash and Lesnar is rather smiley.

Lashley is back up to post Lesnar and they head back inside. Back in and Lesnar grabs more German suplexes but Lashley slaps on a quick Hurt Lock. Lesnar rams him into the corner for the break and the F5 hits Lashley, only to bump the referee at the same time. Cue Roman Reigns to spear Lesnar down before telling Heyman to hand over the title. Heyman does just that and a belt shot knocks Lesnar silly. Lashley gets the cover and the title at 10:14.

Rating: C+. That’s by far the match of the night so far as it felt like something actually happened. Lesnar vs. Lashley is a genuine dream match and something different for Lesnar, though he wrestled it similar to how he wrestles everything else. The Heyman twist was a good way to go and it’s nice to see Lashley get his title back, but this could have been something special and instead it was just ok. Granted Lashley injured his shoulder during the match so take it with a grain of salt.

Heyman leaves with Reigns as Lashley celebrates.

We recap Edge/Beth Phoenix vs. Maryse/Miz. Edge came back, Miz didn’t like it, the wives got involved, mixed tag.

Edge/Beth Phoenix vs. Miz/Maryse

Miz is knocked outside to start and Maryse is sent on top of him, allowing Edge to forearm Miz back inside. A cheap shot lets Miz take over on Edge and cannonball down onto his back. Maryse chokes a bit from the floor so Beth goes a stalking, for some reason thinking she needs a chair. Edge manages a quick implant DDT and Maryse can’t cut off the tag.

Beth comes in to beat up Maryse, including a spinning side slam for two. Miz goes after Beth and gets hammered down in the corner for his efforts. Maryse gets in a cheap shot with the loaded purse for two, setting up a camel clutch of all things. That’s broken up and Beth hits a clothesline for the double knockdown.

It’s back to Edge for the Edge-O-Matic on Miz, with Beth adding a powerbomb. Edge’s top rope elbow gets two but he spears the corner for the mishap. Maryse snaps off a top rope hurricanrana (that’s a new one for her) and there’s the French Kiss for Beth. The Skull Crushing Finale gets two on Edge and Miz gives us a shocked face. Beth is back up though and a double spear cuts Miz down. Mostly stereo Glam Slams give Edge the pin at 12:28.

Rating: C. Here is another match where it could have used some chicanery with Miz and Maryse cheating as much as they could have to win the thing and instead they played it pretty straight. The idea of battling couples works, but Edge and Beth aren’t going to lose to Miz and Maryse without all kinds of cheating and everyone knew it. Not an awful match, but another boring one on a show full of them.

A recipient of the Congressional Medal of Honor is here so we hear his story.

Men’s Royal Rumble

90 second intervals with AJ Styles in at #1 (and strikes a Shawn Michaels pose for some reason) and Shinsuke Nakamura (Intercontinental Champion) in at #2, meaning Pat McAfee gets to dance on the announcers’ table. A strike off goes to Nakamura, who hits the spinwheel kick to the head but can’t exploder Styles out. Styles knocks him into the corner and it’s Austin Theory in at #3. The rolling dropkick hits Styles to start but Nakamura goes for Theory.

Robert Roode is in at #4 and hits some spinebusters but Styles cuts him off. Styles reverses a whip and sends Roode outside for the quick elimination. Ridge Holland, with face guard, is in at #5 to run some people over. Styles gets rid of Nakamura and goes after Theory as Montez Ford is in at #6. Ford throws Theory to the apron but can’t get rid of him. Instead Ford kicks away at Holland to little effect and US Champion Damien Priest is in at #7.

A bunch of stomping ensues until Sami Zayn is in at #8. More nothing ensues and it’s Johnny Knoxville in at #9. Knoxville takes Sami down and hammers away before going after Styles. The Phenomenal Blitz drops Knoxville fast and Ford adds the frog splash. Sami Helluva Kicks Knoxville out but Styles dumps Zayn for a bonus. Angelo Dawkins is in at #10, giving us Styles, Theory, Holland, Ford, Priest, and Dawkins. Omos is in at #11 and he should get to clear some of the ring. There goes Dawkins and Ford follows him rather quickly.

Ricochet is in at #12 and get chopped by Omos as NOTHING continues to happen. Chad Gable is in at #13 and rallies the troops to go after Omos, which means sending Priest after him alone. With Priest gone, the rest of the group, plus Dominik Mysterio in at #14, gets rid of Omos. Happy Corbin is in at #15 and dumps Ricochet pretty fast. Dolph Ziggler is in at #16 as this is reaching some incredible levels of boring. Deep Six plants Dominik and Corbin gets rid of him, followed by Styles getting rid of Theory.

Sheamus is in at #17, with Holland being tossed before Sheamus can get inside. Rick Boogs is in at #18 and McAfee is excited, as compared to the eerily still crowd. Boogs tosses Gable and Madcap Moss is in at #19. Corbin tosses Styles, ending a nearly thirty minute run with….nothing (that’s the story of the match so far: nothing happens, and we’re just sitting around waiting as more people come in and go out).

It’s Riddle in at #20, giving us Corbin, Ziggler, Sheamus, Boogs, Moss and Riddle as this drones on. Corbin and Moss get rid of Boogs and Drew McIntyre returns from injury at #21. McIntyre wastes no time in getting rid of Moss and Corbin, which would somehow carry on through Wrestlemania. That’s not enough though as Drew follows them outside and unloads on them with steps to the head. Kevin Owens is in at #22 and Pop Up Powerbombs McIntyre.

Rey Mysterio is in at #23 and the fans are barely reacting to a string of big, popular names. Kofi Kingston is in at #24 and gets tossed to the apron fast. Owens breaks up a springboard attempt and Kofi lands on the barricade….but his feet hit the floor as Kofi finally botches his big save spot. It’s Otis in at #25 and hits some elbows as the mindless brawling continues.

Big E. is in at #26 and oh yeah, he’s a former WWE Champion. Belly to belly suplexes abound and the Warrior Splash hits Owens. Bad Bunny gets lucky #27 and gets to clean house, including a high crossbody, followed by a Canadian Destroyer to Riddle. Bunny ducks the Brogue Kick and ducks Sheamus before teaming up with Rey to get rid of Ziggler. Mysterio turns his back on Bunny and almost gets tossed, leaving Owens to Stun Bunny instead. Otis dumps Mysterio and Shane McMahon is in at #28.

Shane wastes no time in getting rid of Owens before slugging it out with McIntyre. Randy Orton, the hometown boy, is in at #29 and the RKO gets rid of Big E. Another RKO hits Otis and Riddle hits a running RKO to McIntyre. Otis is out….and Brock Lesnar is in at #30, meaning everyone knows exactly where this is going. Lesnar gets to clean house, including a bunch of suplexes before dumping Orton and Bunny. Riddle is tossed, Shane follows him, and it’s down to Lesnar vs. McIntyre. Some right hands look to set up the Claymore but Lesnar reversed into the F5 to win at 51:11.

Rating: D-. This was HORRIBLE and is absolutely in the running for worst Royal Rumble of all time. There was no drama until the end, but the bigger problem is there was nothing set up throughout the match. This is the third time I’ve seen this match and I still have no idea what is supposed to be interesting until the end. People come in, they brawl, they get eliminated, more people come in. It’s about 50 minutes of absolute nothing and then “oh well, here’s Brock to get ANOTHER Wrestlemania title match after two minutes of work”. This felt like they didn’t try and just said “Lesnar wins, move on”. Absolutely horrendous.

Overall Rating: D-. I’ve heard this show called the lowest of the low for WWE creative in this era and that very well may be true. The ONLY decent thing on the entire show was Rollins vs. Reigns, and that ended in a screwy finish. You also have Lesnar vs. Lashley and that doesn’t even require creative to work. Instead, we had two terrible Rumbles, one of which is an all time miss, plus some nothing midcard matches. The Rumbles are always going to define these shows though and these were all time terrible. Horrific show and it gets worse every time I watch it.

 

Ratings Comparison

Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins

Original: B-
Redo: B

Women’s Royal Rumble:

Original: C-
Redo: D+.

Becky Lynch vs. Doudrop

Original: D+
Redo: C-

Brock Lesnar vs. Bobby Lashley

Original: B-
Redo: C+

Edge/Beth Phoenix vs. Miz/Maryse

Original: C
Redo: C

Men’s Royal Rumble

Original: C+
Redo: D-

Overall Rating

Original: C-
Redo: D-

WOW I have no idea what I was thinking on that Men’s Royal Rumble. That has to be up there on my all time list of stupid ratings.

 

Here is the original review if you need a recap.

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2022/01/30/royal-rumble-2022-at-least-something-caught-fire/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Royal Rumble 2020
Date: January 26, 2020
Location: Minute Maid Park, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 42,715
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jerry Lawler, Tom Phillips

Remember when we had crowds? It’s almost weird to see something like this but it’s a nice flashback to a show that feels like it was years ago. I remember the higher points of the show but given how many things have changed since then, it could be rather interesting to look back. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Shorty G. vs. Sheamus

Small guy with a ridiculous name vs. a monster, with Sheamus returning and pretending to save G. but then attacking him for being short. Sheamus shrugs off a single leg attempt to start and pulls G. down by the hair. A shoulder puts him down again but G. sends him outside in front of Green Shirt Guy. Back in and it’s way too early for G.’s ankle lock as Sheamus sends him into the post. There’s the shoulder breaker before Sheamus starts stepping on the fingers.

The armbar goes on and we take a break. Back with the armbar continuing, followed by Sheamus ax handling him in the face. Sheamus sends him to the apron for the forearms to the chest and asks the fans IF THEY ARE NOT ENTERTAINED. Eh it’s been a little slow so far so only kind of. G. slips out of a belly to back though and dropkicks the knee out, allowing him to stomp away on the leg in the corner.

The tornado DDT sets up the moonsault for two on Sheamus and the rolling Chaos Theory out of the corner is good for the same. Sheamus shoves him away and goes up, only to dive into the ankle lock. That’s broken up with a grab of the rope so Sheamus kicks him in the bad arm. The Brogue Kick is good for the pin at 12:37.

Rating: C-. This took some time to get going but the arm played into the finish and Sheamus needed the win to build himself up since he hasn’t even been back for a month so far. It was a slightly longer than usual TV match and unfortunately it saw G. lose again. I know it keeps happening, but that doesn’t make it any easier.

Kickoff Show: US Title: Andrade vs. Humberto Carrillo

Andrade, with Zelina Vega, is defending in another of about 35 matches between these two. Humberto had been injured by Andrade but came back to save Rey Mysterio on Raw, setting this up. They go to the mat to start for a standoff but Carrillo sends him outside, only to glide over Andrade on the baseball slide again. Carrillo hits the Tranquilo pose on the apron and you just don’t do that, as Andrade gets in a cheap shot to take over.

We take a break and come back with Andrade hitting a basement dropkick to the side of the head. The armbreaker over the ropes has Carrillo’s arm being broken, at least until just before the DQ. The Fujiwara armbar goes on to keep Carrillo in trouble but he fights to his feet. That’s about it for the good though as his high angle springboard armdrag is countered with a faceplant. Carrillo is back up with a spinning springboard crossbody but a moonsault hits knees.

Andrade’s running knees in the corner are broken up and he misses a charge to the floor, allowing Carrillo to nail an Asai moonsault. Back in and Andrade hits Two Amigos but the third is countered into a suplex from Carrillo. Andrade kicks him into the corner though and the running knees connect for two. The hammerlock DDT is countered into a small package for two on Andrade and it’s time for the slugout.

Carrillo scores with a superkick for two as Vega is panicking. Back up and Andrade misses some running elbows to the face but he’s able to catch Carrillo on top with a shot to the jaw. Carrillo is fine enough to snap off a super hurricanrana for two and Vega starts giving fast paced advice. Andrade slips out of a fireman’s carry so Carrillo tries another hurricanrana but Andrade reverses into a sunset flip to retain at 14:18.

Rating: C+. These two might not have been the most interesting but they could have some nice, fast paced matches. That’s what we got here on the bigger stage and the right person won, as usual. Carrillo can do all the moves but he’s a complete hole of charisma. Andrade and Vega worked well together, though the stupid deal with Angel Garza getting involved and fighting with Andrade brought them both way down. Still though, pretty good here.

The opening video features Steve Austin talking about the importance of the Royal Rumble, as everyone is out for one thing. It doesn’t matter if there is one person or thirty, because this is their shot at glory. The other matches, which aren’t quite as important, get a little bit of time as well.

King Corbin vs. Roman Reigns

Falls Count Anywhere, which is hardcore based on the introductions but the former sounds better. This is fallout from the rather good dog food angle, which was the only good part of their months long feud. Reigns doesn’t wait for Corbin to get off of his throne and beats up the handlers to start things off. The brawl is on outside with Corbin bailing over the barricade, only to get knocked back to ringside.

They head inside where Reigns gets two off a belly to back suplex. It’s way too early for the Superman Punch so Corbin grabs Deep Six for his own two. They’re back on the floor with Corbin hitting him in the face with the steps and loading up the announcers’ table. Reigns punches him in the face though and they head over the barricade with Reigns following for more right hands. It’s already back to ringside with Corbin getting in a bell shot to the ribs.

Reigns charges at him and gets chokeslammed through the announcers’ table. It’s back over the barricade now with Reigns being sent into some chairs and then into an anvil case. A Samoan drop through a table gives Reigns a breather and they’re both slow to get up. It works so well that Reigns does it again, this time for two. Back up and Corbin drives him into another anvil case (Neil’s Workbox according to the label) and here are Robert Roode and Dolph Ziggler to beat Reigns down.

Cue the Usos to even things up and we cut over to the tag teams fighting as Corbin and Reigns are gone. Roode sets up a barricade but Jey dives off the scaffold to make a save as the people actually in the match pop up again. Reigns throws him into some portable toilets (Cole: “Those structures.”) and then turns it over with Corbin inside. That doesn’t seem to mean much and they head back through the crowd. This time Corbin pulls a cover off of the dugout and hitting a few chair shots. Reigns comes back with a Superman Punch and the spear for the pin at 21:17.

Rating: C. These two just aren’t all that interesting together and Reigns is even harder to watch in this role after seeing what he could do later on in the year. The problem here was that they just walked around a lot and punched each other with some spots in the middle. The interference spiced things up a bit, but you shouldn’t need to spice up a violent gimmick match between two people who can’t stand each other. It’s not an awful match, but it wasn’t an interesting feud at the time and the version without seeing most of the build isn’t that much of an improvement.

Samoa Joe comes up to Kevin Owens, who is really excited about getting to beat up Seth Rollins. That sounds cool with Joe, who is more than willing to throw Owens out. Bickering ensues.

Sonya Deville says she’ll eliminate herself before eliminating Mandy Rose because they’re partners.

In Memory of Kobe Bryant, who died earlier in the day. That was quite the shock.

Women’s Royal Rumble

Ninety second intervals and Alexa Bliss is in at #1 and Bianca Belair, still in NXT at this point, is in at #2. Bliss doesn’t look impressed and they lock up to start. Belair starts fast by driving Bliss into the corner for a shoulder to the ribs. The standing moonsault connects and it’s Mighty Molly in at #3. The posing, complete with cape, draws the flashbacks and Molly hits a high crossbody onto both of them. We get some rather sped up intervals as Nikki Cross is in at #4.

Bliss and Cross have the big hug but get taken down, including the KOD from Belair to drive Cross onto Bliss in a crash. Everyone gets knocked down and it’s Lana in at #5. Lana, in the required Captain Marvel gear, brags about being a newlywed (oh man that nonsense) and finally gets in as Mercedes Martinez is in at #6 to clean house. Lana is almost put out and it’s Liv Morgan in at #7 to get rid of Lana in a hurry. Morgan makes the mistake of going up top though and Lana pulls her off. The catfight is on outside and Mandy Rose is in at #8.

Cross has to kick Rose away and gives her a crossbody as Candice LeRae is in at #9. A missile dropkick puts Martinez down and a Lionsault hits Cross. Molly gets tossed and Rose is sent over as well….but lands on Otis, who happens to be laying at ringside for your comedy bit. Sonya Deville is in at #10, giving us Bliss, Belair, Cross, Martinez, Rose, LeRae and Deville. Mandy and Sonya fail to get rid of Candice but they can get rid of Martinez. Kairi Sane is in at #11 and comes in with her umbrella because Sane is kind of weird. House is cleaned, including a Blockbuster into a top rope elbow on Rose. Mia Yim is in at #12 and Belair knocks Cross out.

Sonya tries to toss Mandy but Otis catches her again. That’s fine with Belair, who throws Sonya onto both of them for the double elimination. Dana Brooke is in at #13 and starts beating up Yim in a hurry. Belair tosses Candice out for her fifth elimination setting a women’s Royal Rumble record. Bliss gets rid of Sane and it’s Tamina in at #14 and she gets to fire off her superkicks. That’s fine with Belair, who avoids a charge to send Tamina out. NXT’s Dakota Kai is in at #15 and kicks Brooke in the face as Bliss knocks Yim out.

NXT’s Chelsea Green is in at #16 and tosses Kai but gets tossed by Bliss in about ten seconds. Belair gets rid of Brooke and we’re down to Belair vs. Bliss again. Twisted Bliss is blocked and they fight to the apron with Belair knocking her into the post for the elimination. Belair is alone and it’s Charlotte in at #17. Charlotte chops away at Belair and sends her flying with a quick suplex. That goes nowhere and it’s the returning Naomi in at #18.

Naomi starts sliding around to avoid some shots, setting up a staredown with Charlotte. Some chops in the corner have Naomi in trouble and it’s Beth Phoenix in at #19. Charlotte and Naomi and Beth and Belair pair off but it’s Toni Storm in at #20 to give us Charlotte, Naomi, Phoenix, Belair and Storm. Charlotte finally throws Belair out to a big reaction and it’s the returning Kelly Kelly in at #21.

Beth manages to send Charlotte over the top and stomp away but Charlotte manages to hang on. Sarah Logan is in at #22….and Charlotte kicks her out in about ten seconds. Charlotte knocks Kelly out and it’s Natalya in at #23. Clotheslines abound and Beth and Natalya powerbomb Charlotte out of the corner. NXT’s Xia Li is in at #24 and starts kicking various blondes. Zelina Vega is in at #25 as they’re flying through these entrants.

A tornado DDT plants Naomi but a bunch of people can’t get rid of Charlotte in the corner. NXT newcomer Shotzi Blackheart is in at #26 and Naomi is thrown over the top….but she manages to land on the steps and dive onto the barricade. Naomi pulls herself back up and crawls along the barricade so she can walk along the announcers’ table and try to figure things out. Carmella comes in at #27 and hits a very spinning headscissors, setting up a double Bronco Buster on Natalya and Beth (who is bleeding BADLY from the back of the head).

Charlotte gets sent shoulder first into the post and calls out to the floor as Tegan Nox is in at #28. Phoenix hits Nox with a Glam Slam….and Santina Marella is in at #29. Beth isn’t happy and glares Santina down, with Natalya joining her. With nothing else working, Santina whips out the Cobra, strikes herself, and is eliminations. NXT’s Shayna Baszler is in at #30, giving us a final field of Charlotte (on the floor), Naomi (still on the announcers’ table), Phoenix, Storm, Natalya, Li, Vega, Blackheart, Carmella, Nox and Baszler.

Shayna starts fast by posting Charlotte on the floor and dumps Li. Nox and Vega are out as well, with Shotzi joining all of them. Naomi has finally gotten the top of the announcers’ table off and uses it as a bridge to the ring for a big reaction (after about ten minutes to get back). Shayna gets rid of Carmella and Storm before dodging Naomi’s Rear View and tossing her as well.

Beth and Natalya grab a quick Hart Attack on Baszler but Beth throws Natalya out. Charlotte comes back in to send Baszler and Phoenix to the apron, setting up the Charlotte vs. Baszler showdown. Phoenix is back in but gets tossed by Baszler. Charlotte hang son and skins the cat into a headscissors to eliminate Baszler for the win at 54:17.

Rating: C+. They were flying through this and while it was nice to see the NXT stars popping in, there wasn’t a lot of interesting in the whole thing. The biggest problem is Charlotte winning, as she certainly didn’t need the win over a newcomer like Baszler. Charlotte was already one of the most successful women in WWE history. Did she really need something like this over a newcomer like Baszler? It makes even less sense when you consider where they both went at Wrestlemania, but again, Charlotte. It wasn’t a bad match at all, but just too fast and not overly interesting.

Post match Charlotte says nothing is stopping her from becoming champion again at Wrestlemania.

King Corbin promises to eliminate Roman Reigns from the Rumble tonight.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Bayley vs. Lacey Evans

Bayley is defending and gets shoved down to start. Some knee drops give Lacey an early two and a slingshot elbow has Bayley in more trouble. Hold on though as Bayley is favoring her knee, which is good enough goldbricking to let Bayley get in an elbow to the face for two. The chinlock sets up a suplex into another chinlock and the comeback attempt is countered into a third chinlock. Points for consistency? A clothesline gives Bayley two and she tells Lacey to “come on mommy.”.

The chinlock goes on again for a few seconds but Bayley misses a charge into the corner. Lacey grabs a slingshot rollup for two and nails a running knee. A slingshot dropkick almost sends Lacey falling out to the floor but she manages to hold on. The slingshot dive misses though and we see Lacey’s daughter and I’d assume husband in the front row. Back in and Lacey grabs a neckbreaker but the double jump moonsault hits knees (that’s what you get for stopping to salute). Bayley grabs a rollup with trunks to retain at 9:25.

Rating: C. Just slightly above a TV level match here but it was too early to take the title off of Bayley just yet. Bayley mocking Lacey was rather good but the amazing part is that Lacey still hasn’t won a title. You would just think she would have gotten one out of however many shots she has had over the years. It didn’t need to be here, but nothing since then? Really?

We recap Daniel Bryan vs. the Fiend. Bryan has brought back the YES Movement to fight against the Fiend and now it’s time to challenge for the title in a strap match. Bray Wyatt has brought up Bryan’s time as part of the Wyatt Family and wants some revenge.

Smackdown World Title: The Fiend vs. Daniel Bryan

The Fiend is defending in a strap match, but this time it’s pins/submissions instead of the four corners. I don’t miss the red lights but I do miss the severed head lantern (that’s one of those “only in wrestling” deals). As for the custom Fiend title…..eh not so much either. Bryan kicks away in the corner but gets powerbombed out for his efforts. It’s already time to start whipping Bryan in the back but a kick to the face has Fiend on the floor. The suicide dive is swatted away though and Fiend whips him again.

As Cole refers to the Fiend as Reigns, they head back inside with Bryan being sat on top for some more shots to the back. The bright red marks are already starting to appear on Bryan’s back so Fiend laughs a lot. Bryan scores with a quick kick though and the running knee gets two. Fiend gets low bridged to the floor for the big dive, only to send Bryan into the steps. Bryan pulls him into the post over and over though and Fiend is rocked. He’s fine enough to clothesline Bryan inside out and it’s time to load up the announcers’ table.

Bryan kicks him low a few times to save himself and there’s a DDT onto the table for a thud. Fiend gets whipped for a change and it’s back inside for the YES Kicks, followed by several whips to Fiend for a change. As you might expect, Fiend wants more kicking and whippings so Bryan obliges. The running knee is countered into Sister Abigail (sweet) for two though and Fiend isn’t sure what to do. The Mandible Claw goes on on the top so Bryan pulls him into a triangle choke over the ropes.

That doesn’t work so Bryan pulls him into the YES Lock to….well not much as Fiend escapes and hammers away again. Another Sister Abigail is countered into another running knee for another two so Bryan starts firing himself up. Fiend pops up to his feet and you can see the defeat in Bryan’s face. Bryan’s whips are shrugged off and the Mandible Claw goes on again to finish Bryan at 17:36.

Rating: B. This was the Royal Rumble title defense as there was little doubt about who was going to win and there is nothing wrong with that. It was going to take someone special (or old) to beat Fiend and as great as Bryan is, it wasn’t the right place for him to get the title here. They had a hard hitting match but in the end, Bryan wasn’t enough to stop Fiend and that makes Fiend look a heck of a lot better.

Post match, a very damaged Bryan has to be helped out.

There is a new attendance record of 42,715.

We recap the Raw Women’s Title match, with Becky Lynch defending against Asuka. Lynch has been champion since Wrestlemania but Asuka was the last woman to beat her. That has weighed on Lynch and it is time for a rematch one year after the loss to Asuka. Green mist was used so you know it’s serious.

Raw Women’s Title: Becky Lynch vs. Asuka

Asuka, with Kairi Sane, is challenging. Feeling out process to start with the grappling setting up Asuka’s rollup for two. They roll around a bit until Becky clotheslines her to the floor. The followup earns Becky a shot to the arm but the hip attack misses, allowing the Disarm-Her (in the ropes) to go on. Asuka is right back with a neckbreaker over the ropes to take over and it’s time to kick Lynch in the face a few times. A Shining Wizard connects for two but Lynch comes back with some kicks to the face.

They fight to the apron with neither being able to hit a suplex so Becky release suplexes her to the floor. Asuka is fine enough to hit a knee to the face back inside and a fisherman’s suplex drop (as in she drops Becky down onto the mat) gets two. Asuka takes her to the middle rope, where Becky is back with a super Rock Bottom for two more. Becky can’t follow up so Asuka goes with the cross armbreaker into the Asuka Lock (how she beat Becky last year) but Becky makes the rope.

The Kawada Kicks knock Becky silly so we pause for a bit for the referee to check on Lynch. She grabs the referee’s leg to beg him not to stop it so Asuka hits another big kick to the head. Another Asuka Lock attempt is countered into a failed Disarm-Her attempt so they trade kicks for a double knockdown. They slug it out with the referee almost getting bumped, so Asuka loads up the green mist. Lynch is smarter than that though and kicks it out of her mouth, setting up the Disarm-Her to retain at 16:35.

Rating: B. These two beat the heck out of each other with Asuka winning most of the match until she tried to cheat and Becky was ready for her. This felt like Becky surviving until the end and then beating Asuka at her own game because she knew she had to get her win back. I really liked this and they told a good enough story that I got into it without remembering a lot of the details. That’s hard to do but they pulled it off here.

Post match, Becky gives Asuka a knowing look.

Wrestlemania XXXVI is coming to Tampa. My how things change, but the awesomeness of that pirate theme isn’t one of them.

The Street Profits go over the men’s Royal Rumble favorites as only they can.

Men’s Royal Rumble

Non-title and Booker T. is a guest commentator but hang on as Bobby Lashley and Rusev are ruled out due to a huge brawl earlier in the day. 90 second intervals again and WWE Champion Brock Lesnar is in at #1 (he wanted a challenge) and Elias is in at #2. Hold on though as Elias needs to call Lesnar a gorilla and Paul Heyman a zookeeper. Elias’ song is about how he is a sacrificial lamb so Lesnar charges to start the beating in the aisle.

They get inside with Lesnar unloading with shoulders in the corner. There’s the German suplex and a guitar shot to the back keeps Elias down. That’s enough for the elimination, which is good as face Elias never worked. Erick Rowan is in at #3 and lasts less than ten seconds. Good because the caged animal deal never worked either. After Lesnar walks around for a bit, Robert Roode is in at #4 and wisely takes his time.

Roode gets a boot up in the corner but walks into the F5 and is gone. More walking around, this time while holding the title up, kills some time until John Morrison (who makes Lesnar laugh) is in at #5. He beats Rowan’s time, lasting a full nine seconds. Kofi Kingston is in at #6 to get his chance at retribution for Lesnar beating him for the title in about ten seconds (Yeah remember that?).

Kofi gets in a few shots but is driven into the corner for another German suplex. Rey Mysterio is in at #7 and that gets Lesnar’s attention. The pace picks up (as you may have guessed) but Lesnar clotheslines them both down and gets to pace a bit. The German suplexes keep both guys down on the floor (not out) until Big E. is in at #8. Big E. rallies the troops and it’s the parade of finishers to rock Lesnar….who tosses Rey, uses Big E. as a launchpad to drop Kofi, and then tosses Big E. with ease.

Kofi is out as well and Lesnar is alone in the ring as Cesaro is in at #9. Less than twenty seconds later and Lesnar is all alone again for Lesnar’s eighth elimination. Shelton Benjamin is in at #10 and Lesnar likes this one for a change. Shelton hugs Heyman at ringside and tells him to go reunite with Lesnar (Booker: “Don’t fall for that!”). They hug and Lesnar German suplexes him, setting up another elimination.

Intercontinental Champion Shinsuke Nakamura (with hype man Sami Zayn) is in at #11 and a spinning kick to the head rocks Lesnar. Then he throws Nakamura out, but he did get kicked down. MVP (in Black Panther gear) makes a surprise return at #12 (Lesnar likes his music) and is out in about 25 seconds. Keith Lee is in at #13 and that gets Brock’s attention (Lesnar: “Big boy!”) in a hurry. They stare each other down and Lee drops him with a shoulder (giving us a shocked Lesnar face), followed by a double knockdown. Braun Strowman is in at #14 and dropkicks Lee to the floor (not out).

Brock suplexes both of them twice in a row and they’re all down for a bit. Strowman and Lee start fighting….so Lesnar dumps them both to tie the eliminations record at 13. Ricochet (who Lesnar beat up on Raw) is in at #15 and gets knocked into the corner. There’s another German suplex to send Ricochet flying as Cole says he doesn’t want to hear anyone talking about how Lesnar doesn’t do anything. Drew McIntyre is in at #16 and there’s the next big staredown.

Lesnar takes the gloves off but Ricochet returns the low blow from Raw and McIntyre Claymores Lesnar out for a HUGE pop. Heyman isn’t sure what to do as the match starts the second half. McIntyre tosses Ricochet and stares down at Lesnar because that’s Wrestlemania. Miz is in at #17 and gets Future Shocked and Claymored for another elimination. McIntyre keeps staring down at Lesnar, who walks off through timekeeper’s area for some reason.

AJ Styles is in at #18 and starts kicking away at McIntyre’s leg. The Calf Crusher goes on for a bit but McIntyre drives AJ’s head into the mat for the break. Dolph Ziggler is in at #19 but would rather hit AJ than double team McIntyre. Karl Anderson is in at #20, giving us McIntyre, Styles, Ziggler and Anderson to tie the most people in the match at once. Anderson and Styles team up but Ziggler gets to make one of his signature Rumble saves (he does those A LOT).

In your shock of the night/show/year, EDGE is in at #21 and looks near tears to be in his first match in almost nine years. Spears abound and absolutely the fans are going nuts as Edge soaks in some cheers. AJ scores with a Pele kick to Edge but gets speared down as well. A banged up King Corbin is in at #22 as AJ seems to be hurt in the corner. Edge quickly eliminates AJ, who grabs his arm/shoulder on the floor.

NXT’s Matt Riddle is in at #23 and kicks away, only to get tossed by Corbin in about forty seconds. Luke Gallows is in at #24 and kicks away as well until McIntyre dumps Corbin (with Cole calling him Humpty Dumpty.). Randy Orton is in at #25 and it’s an RKO each for the Good Brothers. We get a quick Rated RKO reunion as Edge and Orton get rid of Gallows and Anderson and here’s Roman Reigns in at #26 (Cole actually gets in an interesting stat by saying it’s the latest entry to never have a winner).

Reigns goes after McIntyre and it’s Kevin Owens in at lucky #27 (even though the luck is more of cliché these days). Reigns can’t hit the Pop Up Powerbomb and Owens hits him with a Stunner. There’s another Stunner to Orton and it’s Aleister Black (I had forgotten his music) in at #28. Black Mass abounds but no one is tossed as Samoa Joe is in at #29. Owens and Joe, friends at the moment, slug it out until Seth Rollins is in at #30.

That gives us an outstanding final field of McIntyre, Edge, Orton, Reigns, Owens, Black, Joe and Rollins (Ziggler seems to have been eliminated off camera). This time though Rollins has Buddy Murphy and the AOP with him so Owens and Joe go outside to brawl with the team (sweet goodness with all the camera cuts). AOP starts wrecking people but doesn’t eliminate anyone. Murphy gets in a cheap shot on Black to save Rollins though and Black is gone.

Owens throws Rollins over the top but AOP catches him, allowing Rollins to toss Owens as well. Rollins gets caught in the Koquina Clutch but manages to toss Joe as well. Joe, Black and Owens brawl with AOP and Murphy to the back and we’re down to Rollins, McIntyre, Edge, Reigns and Orton (that’s a fine final five). Rollins tries to get on Reigns’ side but takes one finisher after another, setting up the easy elimination for McIntyre.

Edge and Orton agree to team up and the brawl is on again as the fans find this awesome. There’s an RKO to McIntyre and a spear takes him down again. A double RKO plants McIntyre again but Edge catches Orton waiting to turn on him. That lets Edge toss Orton (makes sense) and we’re down to three. The fans tell Edge that he still has it as he slugs it out with Reigns, who nails a Superman Punch. Reigns misses the spear so Edge hits his own and they go to the apron. Reigns gets the better of it and tosses Edge but heads back inside for the Claymore to give McIntyre the big win at 1:00:08.

Rating: B. And that’s how you make a new star, as McIntyre not only slayed the Beast but then won what was pretty much an all star second half to win the whole thing. You don’t see people get this kind of a rub in the Rumble often enough but man alive this worked very well. At least the second half though, which brings us to the 294lb gorilla in the Rumble.

Watching this Rumble back and knowing what is coming made it a bit easier, but the first half is still total overkill as Lesnar could have made the same point with, I don’t know, seven or eight people? I’d like to think that it’s not just to equal Strowman’s elimination record from the Greatest Royal Rumble, but WWE seems to consider that the same as this kind so maybe they are ridiculous enough to consider that a reason. Lesnar was a monster and some of the stuff he did was cool, but we got the point already.

Overall it’s a good enough Rumble and the positives outweigh the negatives, but the Lesnar stuff went on too long. I do like seeing Lesnar be treated like a monster instead of rushing through everything in three minutes, but how many villagers does the monster need to devour to prove his point? The McIntyre stuff made up for a lot of it, though I don’t need to see the two half Rumble structure again.

Overall Rating: B+. Overall, this is a heck of a show, but I can get why watching it with more knowledge of what it would mean would change things a lot. There are some weak parts to the show, but at the same time the big matches all delivered and that’s what you need in a show like this. They also kept it a little shorter than the huge shows and with nothing bad, I’m not sure what else you could want. Well less Lesnar dominance maybe but that might be nitpicking.

Ratings Comparison

Shorty G. vs. Sheamus

Original: C

Redo: C-

Andrade vs. Humberto Carrillo

Original: C

Redo: C+

King Corbin vs. Roman Reigns

Original: D+

Redo: C

Women’s Royal Rumble

Original: B

Redo: C+

Bayley vs. Lacey Evans

Original: C-

Redo: C

Daniel Bryan vs. The Fiend

Original: B

Redo: B

Asuka vs. Becky Lynch

Original: B

Redo: B

Men’s Royal Rumble

Original: B+

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: B+

Wait, I really liked the men’s Rumble better the first time? Reigns vs. Corbin being higher this time doesn’t surprise me though as that feud just destroyed me.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

 

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Royal Rumble 2019
Date: January 27, 2019
Location: Chase Field, Phoenix, Arizona
Attendance: 48,193
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Renee Young, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips

It’s time to go back to the stadium with another major show. The Royal Rumble has changed a good bit in recent years as it is now another extended show with a pair of Royal Rumble matches instead of just one. No one is exactly jumping off the page as a favorite in either of them, though Becky Lynch is currently the most popular person in the company. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Bobby Roode/Chad Gable vs. Scott Dawson/Rezar

Non-title but if Dawson and Rezar (regular partners injured) win, the regular teams get a title shot each. And yes, this match was completely necessary as a last minute addition. The match is so awesome that a cameraman falls down during Roode and Gable’s entrance for the always fun camera shot. Drake Maverick is with Dawson and Rezar. Dawson’s headlock on Roode doesn’t get very far as Roode takes him into the corner for a monkey flip from Gable. Wilder wouldn’t have let that happen.

An exchange of near falls doesn’t go very far so Gable hits a springboard spinning crossbody for two. Dawson takes him down though and catapults Gable into a chokeslam to put the champs in trouble. Rezar chokes on the rope and Dawson grabs a northern lights suplex for two. The chinlock doesn’t last long as it’s back to Rezar to keep knocking Gable around.

Dawson sends him into the ropes but they bang heads for a double knockdown. Rezar comes back in and tries another chokeslam but Gable reverses into an armbar over the ropes. That’s enough for the hot tag off to Roode, who hits a spinebuster on Dawson. Back up and Dawson dropkicks Rezar by mistake, leaving Roode to take a neckbreaker/moonsault combination for the pin at 6:55.

Rating: D+. This would be a textbook definition of a match that did not need to be added to the show and did nothing more than fill in time. As usual, that’s not a good idea and yet it keeps happening around here almost every show. I’m not sure how much of a point there was to having the makeshift tag team thrown out there to lose when Akam wasn’t going to be back for months. Nothing good here and a match that didn’t need to happen.

Kickoff Show: United States Title: Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Rusev

Nakamura is challenging and Lana is here with Rusev. Nakamura gets driven into the corner for some shoulders to the ribs and a suplex brings him right back out. They head outside but Nakamura gets in a running kick to the face off the steps, setting up the running knee to the jaw. Back in and Bad Vibrations into the running knee to the ribs gets two and we hit the front facelock. Rusev fights up and punches away, setting up the spinwheel kick for two.

Rating: C-. Just a little better than the opener but not all that much. Nakamura taking the title from Rusev just over a month into the title reign doesn’t exactly mean much, but that’s the case with so many of the midcard title changes around here. The match was a watchable enough power exchange but it still feels like a title change for the sake of a title change.

Kickoff Show: Cruiserweight Title: Hideo Itami vs. Kalisto vs. Akira Tozawa vs. Buddy Murphy

Murphy is defending, one fall to a finish, and Ariya Daivari is here with Itami. They circle each other for a bit until Itami rolls to the floor. That leaves the other three to trade rollups for two each until Murphy hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to drop Tozawa. Kalisto’s very springboardy hurricanrana is broken up as everything breaks down again. Kalisto tries a Cannonball off the apron but gets caught in Murphy’s suplex instead.

Itami gets back in and poses, meaning it’s time for the showdown with Murphy. The champ gets struck down in the corner and Itami demands respect as we can see his future going down the drain in a hurry. Murphy goes outside and tries to powerbomb Kalisto into the barricade, only to have Tozawa hit a suicide dive into Kalisto, which sends Murphy into the barricade for a crash. Itami throws Kalisto and Tozawa back inside so he can get two on each of them.

A Murphy distraction lets Kalisto kick Itami in the head and it’s a monkey flip to send Tozawa onto Murphy on the floor. Murphy comes back in and gets missile dropkicked by Tozawa, only to have Itami break up the top rope backsplash. Itami gets knocked to the outside though and Tozawa hits a suicide headbutt. Kalisto and Murphy follow with dives of their own with the champ getting the best of it.

Back in and Kalisto hits a hurricanrana driver for two on Murphy, who is right back up with a Liger Bomb for his own near fall. Tozawa scores with a reverse hurricanrana on Murphy but it’s Itami breaking that up. The Salida Del Sol gets two on Itami and everyone is down. A series of kicks puts everyone down again for a bit so Murphy knees Kalisto and Tozawa. Murphy slips out of whatever Itami’s spinning knee deal was (I STILL don’t get that one) and knees him down as well, setting up Murphy’s Law to retain at 12:06.

Rating: B-. Now that’s more like it with an action packed twelve minute match that actually felt like it mattered for a change. Or at least it felt like a match that had been set up more than thirty seconds before they came to the ring. Murphy continues to look like a star and it’s easy to see why he’s a much bigger deal just a year later.

The opening video looks at how important the Rumble is, with some great historical footage included. It has more history than any show not named Wrestlemania so it’s a smart move to go into that well. This switches into your regular opening video, which does its usual good job at looking at the rest of the card.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Becky Lynch vs. Asuka

Asuka is defending after taking the title from Becky in a TLC match at TLC, with Charlotte being included as well. Becky is on fire at this point and it’s a matter of time before she gets the big hero moment. They go with the aggressive lockup to start and that goes absolutely nowhere. Becky’s running shoulder earns her a running dropkick and a lot of shouting from the champ. Neither of them can get the arm so Asuka kicks her in the leg for two instead.

Becky is right back up with shots to the face and a kick to the ribs, followed by a running clothesline to sent Asuka to the floor. They switches places and you just don’t do that to Asuka, who scores with the running hip attack. Asuka heads outside as well and gets sent into the apron, only to send Becky into the post. The Bexploder sends Asuka into the barricade though and Becky is starting to seethe.

That means the aggressive stomping in the corner and the next of what is likely to be a bunch of armbars. That’s broken up so Becky avoids another hip attack and hammers away in the ropes. Asuka isn’t about to get beaten up though and pulls Becky into the Asuka Lock while still in the ropes. With that broken up, Becky fights out of the corner and grabs a Disarm-Her in the corner. That doesn’t last long either so Asuka knees her out of the air. Asuka strikes away but misses a missile dropkick so Becky can hit a Rock Bottom for two.

Back up again and they fight to the apron with Asuka hitting a fisherman’s neckbreaker to the floor and they’re both down. Asuka is in first and Becky beats the count, earning herself a basement dropkick to the head. They slug it out until Asuka kicks her head off for two. Asuka goes up so Becky stops her with a kick of her own and a super Bexploder gets a rather near fall as the crowd is staying right with them.

The middle rope legdrop misses though and Asuka catches her in a Disarm-Her. To keep up the same line of thinking, Becky gets her own Asuka Lock before switching to the Disarm-Her. Becky is too weak to get it on in full so Asuka rolls out and grabs the Asuka Lock and flips forward Cattle Mutilation style for the tag at 17:09.

Rating: B+. These two beat the heck out of each other and that finisher was the mega death version of the Asuka Lock. It’s really weird to see Becky lose though and it was even more surprising watching this live as Becky was the hottest thing around. Having her tap is a bit much, but sweet goodness would they get mileage out of that loss. The counters and different styles were awesome here though and it’s a near instant classic.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Shane McMahon/The Miz vs. The Bar

The Bar is defending and Miz’s dad is in the front row. Miz and Shane are together because of the Best In The World tournament but Shane has agreed to be nice to him so they can succeed together. In other words, expect the Shane Show to continue. Shane spears Sheamus down at the bell and it’s time for an early breather. Miz comes in to roll Cesaro up for two but it’s way too early for the Skull Crushing Finale.

Sheamus grabs Miz from behind to hold him in the corner though and Cesaro scores with the running uppercut. A right hand knocks Shane to the floor so Miz kicks away to avenge his fallen partner. They all head outside with Miz having to be saved from a double powerbomb through the announcers’ table. It’s too early for the big elbow through the table so Shane hits a top rope clothesline on Sheamus instead.

Shane gets sent hard into the barricade and that should let him stay down and use up all the oxygen in the first three rows. Back in and Sheamus drops a knee on Miz before cranking on the arm. The ten forearms to the chest and a double suplex back in get two as Shane is back up onto the apron. Cesaro drops a middle rope ax handle for two and Sheamus comes back in to talk more trash.

Miz sends Sheamus to the floor though and a backdrop puts Cesaro down as well. That’s finally enough for the hot tag to Shane and it’s bad punches a go-go. A DDT gets two on Sheamus and Shane loads up Coast To Coast to both of them at once. Cesaro pulls him out of the air and into the Swing though and it’s a rather long one this time.

Since it was just a really long Swing, Shane is right back with a triangle choke. Sheamus makes a save and it’s the spike White Noise for two, with no one making the save. Well you knew he was going to kick out of at least one finisher. Miz is back in to save Shane from the Brogue Kick, which hits Cesaro by mistake. The shooting star press finishes Cesaro for the titles at 13:23.

Rating: C. It’s every complaint about a Shane match that you could find: he’s pushed too hard, he looks ready to explode from hyperventilating after about eighteen seconds and he kicks out of a big finisher. Oh and now he’s a champion, naturally getting the pin in the process. It had already gotten bad and it was only going to get worse from here.

Shane and Miz celebrate with Papa Mizanin as the announcers get to praise Shane a bit.

Cole announces the attendance and Meltzer has a correction out immediately.

We recap Ronda Rousey vs. Sasha Banks. Rousey wants to see Banks get fired up and is ready to show us the difference between a Boss and a champion. Sasha promised to prove how good she was and made Natalya tap in a tag match on Monday. Graves: “It’s one thing to make Natalya submit.” Nice little unintentional insult there.

Sasha isn’t concerned about keeping her emotions in check. Tonight, she’s proving that she’s the best in the world.

Raw Women’s Title: Sasha Banks vs. Ronda Rousey

Rousey is defending and goes straight for the armbar but Banks armdrags her right back down. A springboard armdrag doesn’t work that well and Rousey mocks Banks’ pose. Rousey tries her own Three Amigos but Banks blocks the third, only to have to go to the ropes to avoid an armbar. A kick to the ribs puts Banks on the floor but Rousey punches the post by mistake.

That lets Banks hit a suicide dive to put Rousey down for a change. The chinlock doesn’t last long so Banks hits the running knees in the corner instead. Back up and Rousey hits a running elbow to the face for two so Banks hits a running knee of her own for the same. Rousey shrugs it off and loads up Piper’s Pit but gets reversed into a nasty armbar, complete with some finger bending.

Banks switches over into the Bank Statement but it’s broken up in a hurry. Now Piper’s Pit can connect and Rousey armbars her over the ropes. Rousey goes up but gets superplexed right back down so Banks can go back to the armbar. You don’t do that to Rousey, who rolls Banks over with some judo throws. They go outside with Rousey grabbing the armbar in full to make Banks tap.

Back in and Rousey hammers away in the corner but Banks gets in a shot of her own for the double knockdown. The armbar is broken up again and another Piper’s Pit is countered into a crossbody. The Bank Statement goes on until Banks switches to a Fujiwara armbar. Rousey rolls out and gutwrench suplexes the heck out of her, setting up another Piper’s Pit for the pin at 13:49.

Rating: B. This took time to get going but they were rolling at the end. Rousey was such a freak of nature as she probably hadn’t had 25 matches by this point (certainly not 10 big ones) and was going back and forth with one of the best around on the big stage. The battle of the submissions attempts worked well here and I got way into this all over again.

Post match they do a left handed handshake since Banks’ arm is wrecked. Banks does hold up the Horsewomen sign though because she isn’t the nicest loser in the world.

We recap the Kickoff Show. We’re so lucky.

John Cena has been injured and won’t be participating in the Royal Rumble. He was totally and really here and everything though. Honest. Braun Strowman is replacing him.

Beth Phoenix joins commentary.

Women’s Royal Rumble

90 second intervals and Lacey Evans (making her main roster in-ring debut, save for a random Main Event match) is in at #1, meaning she needs to introduce herself. Natalya is in at #2 and Lacey runs the ropes to start. Neither can hit a dropkick and Lacey can’t quite do a nip up. A clothesline can’t get rid of Natalya and she reverses a powerbomb with a hurricanrana. Natalya hits the discus lariat as Mandy Rose is in at #3, sending Graves over the edge all over again.

Another discus lariat drops Mandy and it’s the double Sharpshooter, which Graves says is like the even more stuffed Oreos. Liv Morgan is in at #4 and is out in less than ten seconds. Lacey and Mandy start double teaming Natalya but Lacey sends Mandy into the corner for the double Bronco Buster. Mickie James is in at #5, giving us the first non-blonde. House is cleaned in a hurry until Mickie has to save herself from being tossed by Mandy. Ember Moon is in at #6 and gets to clean house as well. No one can eliminate anyone else and it’s Billie Kay in at #7.

She’s fine with staying on the floor though, saying she’s going to wait for Peyton Royce to go in. More non-eliminations continue and it’s Nikki Cross in at #8 (Graves: “Batten down the hatches.” I really need to find out what hatches are and what it means to batten something.). She runs over Billie at ringside and then dives onto everyone else inside. Mandy and Nikki have a weird showdown with Nikki getting the better of it. Billie is inside now and get beaten up as well because she isn’t great on her own. Peyton Royce is in at #9 and it’s IIconics time. The team beats down Nikki and it’s time to fight on the ropes some more.

Tamina is in at #10, giving us Lacey, Natalya, Mandy, Mickie, Ember, Billie, Nikki Peyton and Tamina, meaning the ring is too full. Tamina gets to wreck people until Nikki gets to have another not that interesting staredown. A dropkick and tackle put Tamina through the ropes but she’s right back in with a kick to Nikki’s face. Mickie low bridges Tamina to the apron but she comes back in with the Superfly Splash to Nikki. A superkick gets rid of Mickie and it’s Xia Li in at #11.

Li kicks away at a lot of people but gets knocked down by Tamina. Sarah Logan, in Braveheart paint, is in at #12 as the ring is full and the crowd is dead. Ember has to hang on by her feet but pulls herself back in (finally a reaction) and the IIconics get rid of Cross. Charlotte is in at #13 and PLEASE get rid of some people. She gets jumped on the way in but everyone is fought off in a hurry. Lacey eliminates both IIconics at once and Charlotte kicks Li out to finally clear the ring a bit. Charlotte and Tamina have a staredown (NO ONE CARES ABOUT TAMINA!!!) and Charlotte gets rocked by a superkick.

Kairi Sane is in at #14 and she runs to the ring while looking through a telescope because of course she does. Charlotte gets rid of Tamina as Sane dives in. Charlotte chops Sane down but she’s right back up with the Insane Elbow to Logan. That’s enough to get rid of Sarah and it’s Maria Kanellis in at #15. She breaks up a staredown between Charlotte and Lacey, including a double bulldog. Charlotte is back up with a spear to Maria, who apparently doesn’t belong in this ring.

Naomi is in at #16 and that wakes the crowd up a bit. Mandy sends Naomi to the apron but gets backdropped out, only to pull Naomi to the floor. The feet don’t touch so Naomi backflips onto the barricade, tightrope walks across, and does a crazy athletic jump from the barricade to the steps. And then Mandy pulls her off the steps for the elimination anyway in a great heel move. Charlotte kicks Lacey out and it’s Candice LeRae in at #17. Candice Black Widows Ember but it’s broken up in a hurry.

Natalya powerbombs Charlotte out of the corner and it’s Alicia Fox in at #18 (I had almost forgotten about her.). Maria wants to be friends with Alicia so they beat up Sane. Alicia puts her captain’s hat on Maria before stopping to dance. Maria throws it on the ground and stomps on it….sending Alicia into a fit. She’s back up to eliminate Maria though as Kacy Catanzaro is in at #19 and starts with the hurricanranas. A slingshot version puts Alicia on the apron but she skins the cat to come back in.

Zelina Vega is in at #20, giving us Natalya, Moon, Charlotte, Sane, Candice, Alicia, Catanzaro and Vega. Candice and Vega slug it out as fallout from Andrade vs. Johnny Gargano but they slow down, meaning it’s yet another lull. Ruby Riott is in at #21 and has Logan and Morgan with her so all three pull Charlotte to the floor for some triple teaming. Fox gets the same treatment and Vega rolls to the floor to hide underneath the ring.

Riott throws Fox back inside and then eliminates her, followed by a powerbomb into the barricade for LeRae and another elimination. Dana Brooke is in at #22 and hits a weird looking sitout powerbomb on Catanzaro. Now the Squad pulls Brooke to the floor (I really can’t stand this whole people being on the floor but not eliminated deal as it makes things more confusing than they need to be) and Riott eliminates Sane. Io Shirai is in at #23 and dropkicks the Squad down, setting up the big moonsault to the floor (she was never in so it’s not an elimination).

Shirai and Riott go over the top to the apron for a slugout but they both get back in. Rhea Ripley is in at #24 but the star power hasn’t started for her just yet. She wrecks things a bit until Moon takes her down with a wheelbarrow faceplant. Brooke kicks Catanzaro to the floor but she holds her legs up, hand walks to the post, flips up to it and climbs back in to blow away Naomi’s save. Ripley blocks Catanzaro’s spinning DDT though and tosses her out for real.

Sonya Deville is in at #25 and spears Moon down but Brooke hits her with a shoulder. Brooke enziguris Ripley but gets sent to the apron and dropkicked out. Vega leans from under the ring to laugh at Brooke….and here’s freaking Hornswoggle to chase Vega back inside. That doesn’t last long as Ripley throws her out, with Hornswoggle chasing Vega to the back. Alexa Bliss is in at #26 to a MAJOR pop in her first match since September. The moonsault knees to the ribs hit Moon but Sonya pounds Bliss down in the corner. Bliss is right back by sending her to the apron though and a right hand gets rid of Sonya.

Bayley is in at lucky #27 and gets her own house cleaning segment, including a clothesline to get rid of Riott. That’s not all though as she knocks Ripley out as well as Lana is in at #28. Well not in really as she can barely walk due to her ankle injury from earlier. The trainer comes out to check on her in the aisle as Shirai saves herself from an elimination. Lana is still being checked on as Nia Jax is in at #29, only to jump Lana in the aisle for a bonus.

Fit Finlay comes out to tell her to go to the ring and it’s time for the giant to wreck some people. Shirai makes the mistake of trying a moonsault and gets knocked out in a hurry. Natalya somehow gets Jax up for a fireman’s carry but can’t do anything else with it and gets eliminated after 56 minutes. Carmella is in at #30 (an honor she won in Mixed Match Challenge), giving us a final group of Moon, Charlotte, Bliss, Bayley, Lana, Jax and Carmella, though Lana hasn’t gotten anywhere near the ring.

Carmella gets in a dropkick on Moon but Jax runs her over. Hold on though as Lana is still down so here’s Becky Lynch to say she wants the spot instead. Finlay says do it and the fans are WAY into this again. Becky gets the long awaited showdown with Jax but Charlotte breaks it up and sends Becky to the apron. That doesn’t work either and it’s Becky coming back in with a missile dropkick to Jax. Bliss goes after Moon and pulls her to the apron by the hair (freaking ow man) and then chokeshoves her out after a rather ridiculous 53 minutes.

Carmella hits a Bronco Buster on Bliss and there’s a Buckle Bomb from Bayley. Carmella and Bayley team up to throw Bliss out so Jax clotheslines them both. Charlotte saves Becky from Jax’s facebreaker so Carmella gives Becky a Downward Spiral instead. For some reason Charlotte goes up top so Carmella tries a running headscissors, only to get sent to the apron.

That lasts all of two seconds but Charlotte puts her out there again and a big boot gets us down to four (Bayley, Jax, Charlotte and Becky). Bayley dropkicks Charlotte and Jax against the ropes but Jax is right back with a big boot to eliminate Bayley, leaving us with three. The three way showdown is on with Jax splashing both of them in the corner. That sends Becky to the floor (not out) and it’s a Charlotte vs. Jax showdown that is a little more interesting than it sounds.

Something like a slow motion AA has Jax in trouble but Charlotte can’t follow up. Charlotte gets her onto the apron and Becky pulls her out, leaving us with Charlotte vs. Becky in the rivalry that won’t end. Hold on though as Jax shoves Becky off the steps and we have a knee injury. Referees check on her but Becky pulls herself back in for the fight. Well kind of at least as Becky falls straight back down as soon as she’s inside.

Becky says it’s her time and Charlotte has already taken enough from her. Charlotte, obviously, goes right after the knee but Becky kicks her in the face. She sends Charlotte to the apron but another kick to the leg cuts off the rally. Charlotte misses a charge though and a forearm sends Becky to Wrestlemania at 1:11:23.

Rating: D+. The Becky parts made it better but WOW this was badly laid out. There were far too many instances of people just standing around and doing nothing with several people staying in there too long. Ember for 52 minutes? Natalya for 56? Mandy Rose for nearly 26? You don’t need everyone in there for that long and it’s ok to come up with something other than “everyone stays on the ropes while two people do something in the middle” over and over. They got the right winner but it was a heck of a chore to get there.

Becky can barely stand but is very pleased with the results. The celebration goes on for a LONG time.

We recap AJ Styles vs. Daniel Bryan for the Smackdown World Title. Bryan turned heel to steal the title and became the crazy environmentalist so, after losing to Brock Lesnar at Survivor Series, it’s time for a (second) rematch. AJ is out to show that he isn’t complacent, which included attacking Vince McMahon in a story that went nowhere.

Smackdown World Title: AJ Styles vs. Daniel Bryan

AJ is challenging. We get the Big Match Intros and AJ hammers him down in the corner so the champ bails for a bit. Back in and they fight on the mat for a bit with AJ’s wristlock not getting him very far. A headlock works a bit better as the first gear work continues. Bryan bails to the floor again but comes back in….to get punched in the face. An uppercut puts Styles in the corner and he gets dropped chest first onto the post to give Bryan a target.

Bryan starts in on the shoulder and cranks on a hammerlock on the mat with Styles having to use his foot to reach a rope. A cross armbreaker is broken up as well so Bryan punches him in the face to even the score. AJ scores with a dropkick and the pinfall reversal sequence gets some near falls each. Bryan tosses him hard into the corner and that means the running dropkick.

A dragon suplex has AJ (with his bloody nose) rocked again and Bryan kicks him off the top and out to the floor. Bryan goes out after him but it’s the moonsault off the barricade into the perfect reverse DDT (that’s one of the best he’s ever hit). Back in and the springboard 450 hits Bryan’s knees, meaning the LeBell Lock goes on. Not to be outdone, AJ escapes and reverses into the Calf Crusher to stay on the knee.

That’s broken up as well and they’re both down for a bit. Bryan gets up first and kicks away at the arm, setting up the big kick to the head for two. AJ catches him on top and they slug it out up there, with Styles backflipping out of a belly to back superplex. The Calf Crusher goes on again before AJ switches to a cradle for two instead. Neither can get a backslide so AJ grabs a brainbuster for two more.

Rating: B+. I’m not wild on the ending but you can’t have AJ lose a clean fall here. They were working a heck of a match here with both of them going with their own style and having the other broken down. I don’t particularly care for Rowan interfering, but he and Bryan would wind up being a nice enough team so well done, even if it wasn’t the best feeling at the time.

Post match Rowan holds AJ up for the running knee from Bryan so things can continue.

We recap Finn Balor vs. Brock Lesnar for the Raw World Title in a match hyped up as David vs. Goliath. Balor is small but can do extraordinary stuff so he wants to fight Lesnar. This isn’t the Demon for reasons of Balor wanting to do it himself, even though the Demon IS Balor, meaning the whole thing doesn’t make a lot of sense. Or they just don’t want Lesnar losing because that wouldn’t be very Lesnarish.

Raw World Title: Finn Balor vs. Brock Lesnar

Lesnar is defending and we get the Big Match Intros. Balor dropkicks him at the bell to start and another running dropkick sends him into the corner. The first belly to belly cuts him off in a hurry though and we settle down for the first time. Another belly to belly on the floor rocks Balor again and it’s time to load up the announcers’ table.

Balor sends him ribs first into the corner of said table though and he does it again for painful measure. Brock can barely stand up as he throws Balor back inside for the shoulders in the corner. Another belly to belly has Balor flying but Lesnar is wincing a bit. Lesnar gets in yet another suplex but this time Balor is up with a Sling Blade. That’s it for the offense though as Lesnar BLASTS him with a clothesline.

Lesnar can’t hit a German suplex though as the stomach gives out. The F5 is countered into a DDT and Balor gets smart by stomping at the ribs. The big flip dive to the floor puts Lesnar down again and Balor hits a second for good measure. A third flip dive takes Lesnar down again but Renee says we’re having a new champion to end Balor’s hopes. Back in and Balor kicks him in the face, setting up the Coup de Grace for two, with Lesnar spinning into the Kimura on the kickout, making Balor tap at 8:36.

Rating: C+. Well that was short. They had some moments in there but at the same time, Lesnar wasn’t exactly doing much for the first half of the match. It got better once he was selling but there are only so many things you can do in less than nine minutes. The stuff with Lesnar’s stomach being messed up was enough to go somewhere, but this was only so good.

Post match Lesnar beats Balor up a few more times. This is something else that went nowhere.

Jerry Lawler and JBL join commentary.

Men’s Royal Rumble

90 second intervals again and Elias is in at #1, meaning it’s time for a song. Well make that insulting Phoenix until he’s interrupted by Jeff Jarrett of all people at #2. Jeff gets to strut and say ain’t I great as Elias is rather pleased by being interrupted by someone who brings something to the table. For now though, they need to sing together. And yes, they really are doing this three hours and forty minutes into a show with an hour long match to go. Jeff goes to spell his name so Elias hits him in the face to get things going.

Elias hammers away on the ropes and hits a clothesline so he can get in another catchphrase. A guitar shot to the back is enough to get rid of Jeff. Shinsuke Nakamura, last year’s winner, is in at #3 and he wastes no time in kicking Elias down. For some reason Elias goes up top for Old School, though it’s just an armdrag instead of a shot to the back. Kurt Angle is in at #4 to a big reaction and he starts in with the suplexes. Elias gets him in the corner though and it’s Big E. in at #5, with his gear including Kofi’s best Rumble moments. That’s rather cool….I think.

The Warrior Splash hits Nakamura but an Angle Slam takes Big E. down. Nakamura is back up with the running knee to Angle’s ribs and another running knee gets rid of Kurt. Honestly, it’s better to have him out that fast before he hurts himself again. Johnny Gargano is in at #6 and gets to clean house on Nakamura and Big E. The slingshot spear cuts Elias down and it’s Jinder Mahal in at #7. After he knocks everyone down, Gargano knocks Mahal out in about thirty seconds. The Singh Brothers get beaten up for a bonus and now it’s back to something that actually matters.

Samoa Joe is in at #8, just as Nakamura is surrounded in the corner. Elias gets kicked down and Joe just walks away from Gargano’s middle rope dive (that will always be cool). Joe dumps Big E. and it’s Curt Hawkins in at #9, still in the middle of his horrible losing streak. Hawkins gets in a few shots but bails to the floor in what is probably a smart move. The fans get behind Hawkins, even as Joe grabs him in the Koquina Clutch. For some reason Elias breaks that up and Hawkins bails to the floor again, this time hiding underneath the ring.

Seth Rollins is in at #10, giving us Elias, Nakamura, Gargano, Samoa Joe, Hawkins and Rollins. The springboard clotheslines hits Elias and there’s the Falcon Arrow to Gargano. Elias gets sent to the apron and then into the post for the elimination. It’s Titus O’Neil in at #11 and he crosses himself before charging to the ring, only to stop himself before getting to the apron in a funny moment. Titus sees Hawkins hiding underneath the ring and chases him inside, only to be eliminated almost immediately. Joe throws Hawkins out a second later to end the harmless comedy segment.

With the ring a little more cleared out, Kofi Kingston is in at #12 and things settle down a bit. As everyone fights by the ropes, Mustafa Ali is in at #13. Joe is waiting on him so Ali scores with a dropkick, only to get grabbed by Nakamura. That’s fine with Ali, who slips over the back and tells Nakamura to COME ON. Nakamura does just that and gets tossed out by Ali in quite the upset. Ali isn’t done either as he hits a tornado DDT on Gargano, only to get planted by Joe. Dean Ambrose, still in his pretty disastrous heel run, is in at #14 and goes right at it with Rollins, as expected.

With that broken up, Dean sends Kofi over the top but Kofi keeps one foot off the ground and rolls over to the steps to save himself. That’s not as good as his others, but maybe he’s crashing underneath the expectations. Kingston comes back in with a DDT to Dean, who is right back up to get rid of Gargano. No Way Jose, with the Conga Line, is in at #15 and Joe literally eliminates him in two seconds. No worries though as he and the Conga Line dance to the back as that was quite the use of an entrance.

Drew McIntyre is in at #16 and headbutts Jose for dancing too close to him. After cleaning some house, Joe and McIntyre slug it out for the hoss fight. The Claymore drops Joe and there’s one for Rollins as well as Xavier Woods is in at #17. As he is coming in, Kofi is knocked off the apron but sunset flips Woods, allowing him to keep one foot up.

Woods stands up with Kofi on his back (Cole to JBL: “I remember when you and Ron used to do this.”) and walks over to the steps for the real save of the year. Then McIntyre eliminates Woods and Kingston a second later because this show doesn’t like fun to last too long (completely appropriate for McIntyre of course). Pete Dunne is in at #18 and that gets a nice reaction. Dunne goes after Joe and Graves is rather pleased with everything going on at the moment.

Ali hangs on after being thrown to the apron and it’s Andrade in at #19. Andrade goes after Dunne in a match that sounds rather interesting indeed. With no one close to an elimination, Apollo Crews is in at #20, giving us Joe, Rollins, Ali, Ambrose, McIntyre, Dunne, Andrew and Apollo. McIntyre is sent to the apron and it’s Aleister Black (without the riser) in at #21. He goes right after Dunne in another match that sounds awesome (it’s almost like Dunne is great or something) but switches to Ambrose, with Black Mass connecting for the elimination.

Shelton Benjamin is in at #22 and goes at it with Crews for the athletic freak off. Crews saves himself from being eliminated as Shelton gets Koquina Clutched. That’s broken up and Ali dumps Joe in an upset. Baron Corbin is in at #23, fresh from his shift at *insert restaurant joke of the day here*. Deep Six drops Ali but he hangs onto the rope so Corbin knocks out Crews instead. Black and McIntyre slug it out and it’s Jeff Hardy in at #24 to keep the talent field high.

Lashley pulls Rollins, who low bridged him out, to the floor and beats the heck out of him to let off some steam. Rollins is spinebustered through the announcers’ table and it’s Braun Strowman in at lucky #27 for a possible (though unlikely) winner. Strowman knocks Corbin out in a hurry and there goes Benjamin a few seconds later. McIntyre dumps Hardy as Dolph Ziggler, his recent rival, is in at #28. That means a superkick to get rid of McIntyre and it’s Randy Orton in at #29 for the slow walk to the ring.

Strowman is right there for the showdown and the RKO is blocked in a hurry. Andrade loads up a superplex on Ali, so Strowman puts them BOTH on his shoulders with Mysterio diving off the top to take them down in your HOW CAN HE DO THAT spot of the match. R-Truth (also here because of the Mixed Match Challenge) is in at #30….but hang on as Nia Jax of all people jumps him from behind to take his spot, continuing the near trolling levels of a push. That gives us a final group of Rollins, Ali, Andrade, Orton, Strowman, Ziggler, Orton and Jax.

Nia gets to wreck some people and Ali is out in a hurry after a surprising thirty plus minutes. Orton stares Jax down but can’t hit the surprise RKO attempt, earning himself a shoulder down. Jax tells Rey to go for the 619 on Orton but cuts him off, only to get superkicked by Ziggler. The 619 hits Jax and Orton connects with the RKO, setting up a baseball slide from Mysterio to get rid of her.

Orton tosses Mysterio and Andrade dumps Orton, leaving us with Ziggler, Andrade, and Rollins and Strowman on the floor. Strowman comes back in and splashes Andrade and Ziggler in the corners to send them outside again. Hold on though as Strowman needs to go to the floor again to run Rollins over.

Everyone goes after Strowman in a 2004 flashback but he gets rid of Andrade and Ziggler. Rollins uses the momentum to put him on the apron but charges into a chokeslam. Back in and Rollins grabs a guillotine to pull Strowman to the apron and sends him into the post. A kick to the ribs sets up the Stomp on the apron to get rid of Strowman to give Rollins the win at 57:34.

Rating: B. This was much more like it with a nice mix of brawling, comedy, action and an only somewhat guaranteed winner. I know you can’t really hide the fact that someone is a shoe in winner but it’s nice to see them at least giving it a little bit more drama. Rollins winning made sense here as he had been on fire for the last year and needed something like this. Good Rumble, though there have been a lot better.

SIGN POINTING, yes I said SIGN POINTING, ends the show.

Overall Rating: B-. I’m curious to see how this one holds up against the original rating as the length was driving me crazy this time around. There is a lot of good stuff on here but EGADS it’s a two hour Kickoff Show and then four hours and forty minutes of the main show. You really needed to have the weird Tag Team Title deal on the Kickoff Show and then put Miz and Shane on the main show? That, plus Bryan vs. Styles, could have been on a big Smackdown at worst and this show could have been trimmed down by 45 minutes.

The only bad thing on here is the women’s Royal Rumble, but when that one match is nearly an hour and fifteen minutes long, it has quite the negative impact on the rest of the show. The men’s match makes up for it and the card is much better than worse, but they really, really need to stop with these shows getting close to (or over in Wrestlemania’s case) seven hours. It doesn’t matter how good it is. If you’re going three hours over the length of Wrestlemania X7, the time is going to cause a lot of problems. Anyway, good show, which could have been great with a big editing job.

Ratings Comparison

Chad Gable/Bobby Roode vs. Scott Dawson/Rezar

Original: D+

2020 Redo: D+

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Rusev

Original: C

2020 Redo: C-

Buddy Murphy vs. Hideo Itami vs. Akira Tozawa vs. Kalisto

Original: C+

2020 Redo: B-

Asuka vs. Becky Lynch

Original: B+

2020 Redo: B+

The Bar vs. Shane McMahon/The Miz

Original: D

2020 Redo: C

Sasha Banks vs. Ronda Rousey

Original: B+

2020 Redo: B

Women’s Royal Rumble

Original: B

2020 Redo: D+

AJ Styles vs. Daniel Bryan

Original: C-

2020 Redo: B+

Brock Lesnar vs. Finn Balor

Original: C+

2020 Redo: C+

Men’s Royal Rumble

Original: D

2020 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: D+

2020 Redo: B-

WOW. I was actually shocked by the original ratings of those Rumbles and the Styles vs. Bryan match. I’ve mellowed a lot since then as the show really isn’t that bad.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/01/28/royal-rumble-2019-i-almost-had-a-birthday-watching-this-show/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble 2016
Date: January 24, 2016
Location: Amway Center, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 15,170
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

Pre-Show: Mark Henry/Jack Swagger vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Darren Young/Damien Sandow vs. Ascension

The opening video recaps the only thing that matters here with the tagline of One vs. All. I liked that last year and I still do.

Intercontinental Title: Kevin Owens vs. Dean Ambrose

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Usos

Rating: B-. This took some time to get rolling but once everything broke down, it was as good as you would expect from these teams. New Day is clearly the future of the division despite being champs for nearly five months at this point. Catching a top rope splash out of the air is really impressive as the champs continue to show that they have the ring work to back up their charisma.

We look back at Brock Lesnar beating up the League of Nations, followed by Reigns spearing Brock. The Wyatts then beat Reigns and Brock up to make themselves a threat for later tonight.

US Title: Kalisto vs. Alberto Del Rio

Pre-show recap.

Charlotte takes over and grabs a cravate as the fans are WAY behind Becky here. Like moreso than usual. Thankfully Charlotte mocks the chants before doing the headscissor faceplants followed by the Figure Four necklock. Becky gets out and starts firing off dropkicks to take over but a neckbreaker puts Charlotte right back in control.

Some fans went to the Performance Center under the ruse of being part of a focus group. The wound up getting to meet a full tour of the facility and met most of the NXT roster. Note to self: sign up for focus groups.

Rumble By the Numbers video, which is still one of my favorite annual traditions. This is tied in with the stats that Reigns, who is entering at #1, has to overcome to retain the title.

WWE World Title: Royal Rumble

This goes on so long that Stardust comes in at #14. Rusev splashes Reigns through the table as we have NO IDEA what is going on in the ring during all this. While we were gone, Jericho eliminated Kingston which was of course ignored by the announcers. Now for the stupid part: Vince and the Nation JUST LEAVES.

to eliminate Ziggler a few seconds later.

HHH and family celebrate as fireworks take us out.

Ratings Comparison

Mark Henry/Jack Swagger vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Darren Young/Damien Sandow vs. Ascension

Original: D+

Redo: D

Dean Ambrose vs. Kevin Owens

Original: B

Redo: B+

New Day vs. Usos

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Alberto Del Rio vs. Kalisto

Original: C

Redo: C+

Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch:

Original: C-

Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: A-

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: A

Redo: A

What was up with me hating the women like that?

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2016/01/24/royal-rumble-2016-this-rumble-game-thing/

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble 2014
Date: January 26, 2014
Location: Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 15,715
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

This is one of the Rumble I wanted to look at this year as it is one o the most influential of all time while also being one of the most infamous. There are some other matches on the card, but this is all about the Rumble itself, or at least someone who isn’t taking part this year. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Tag Team Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Goldust/Cody Rhodes

Rhodes and Goldust are defending in a match that is almost bizarre to see today. Cody takes Dogg down to start as commentary immediately ignores the match to hype up the Royal Rumble. Gunn comes in and gets clotheslined outside, setting up a dive from Cody as we take a break.

Back with the referee checking on Goldust as JBL notes that this is NOT a classic match but rather fresh content. I’m not sure that sounds as good as he thinks. Goldust fights out of the corner and hits a sunset bomb as commentary says Gunn never ages. A clothesline takes Gunn down and it’s Cody coming in to clean house. Cody scores with a springboard double missile dropkick (JBL: “Great move by Dusty’s other son!”) and Cross Rhodes gets two, with Gunn making the save. Gunn comes in off a blind tag and hits a Fameasser for the pin and the titles at 6:31

Rating: C. This was nothing of note from an in-ring perspective but they did something big here by having the titles change hands. The Outlaws winning again is a a big surprise and while it’s little more than nostalgia, it still felt kind of cool. Then again, it’s a shame to see the brothers lose, as they certainly had some potential to be a bigger deal down the line. Not much of a match, but the moment made up for it.

The opening video looks at how this night means everything, with the Royal Rumble being about becoming the one. Tonight, the Road To Wrestlemania begins.

Daniel Bryan vs. Bray Wyatt

Bryan is the hottest thing in the world right now but recently joined/turned on the Wyatt Family. That wasn’t cool with Bray (who has Erick Rowan and Luke Harper with him) so let’s have some revenge. Luke Harper and Erick Rowan are here with Wyatt. The bell rings and Wyatt yells about Bryan trying to make a fool out of him. The fans aren’t quite in sync with their YES/DANIEL BRYAN chants as Bryan hammers away to start.

Back in and Bryan ties up the leg for a stomp as we’re in Vicious Bryan mode here. They fight to the apron where Wyatt twists him down by the arm as commentary talks about how bizarre Wyatt really is. Back in and we hit the chinlock, followed another toss to send Bryan right back out to the floor.

Wyatt puts the head against the post and slugs away, with commentary pointing out Bryan’s recent concussion worries. The backsplash crushes Bryan, with Wyatt asking why the fans didn’t help Bryan. Back in and the chinlock goes on again, with looking bored yet eerie at the same time. Wyatt busts out the spider walk, leaving commentary cracking up about the Exorcist as they completely miss the point of a spot like that. The chinlock goes on again but Wyatt misses an elbow.

Bryan fires off the kicks and sends a charging Wyatt face first into the middle buckle. The super hurricanrana gives Bryan two and he moonsaults over Wyatt, who cuts him off hard with the running body block. Bryan manages to knock him back to the floor and there’s a heck of a diving tornado DDT. A running dropkick against the barricade sets up the YES Kicks back inside as Wyatt is in trouble.

Some running dropkicks in the corner connect but Wyatt has to go for one more, allowing Bray to hit one of the biggest clotheslines I’ve seen in a long time. The YES Lock goes but Wyatt is too close to the ropes. Instead Bryan kicks him out to to the floor, where Wyatt pulls the suicide dive out of the air. Sister Abigail to the barricade and another in the ring finish Bryan off at 21:34.

Rating: A-. These guys beat the fire out of each other and it was a heck of a match as a result. What matters is Wyatt getting the win, which was quite the rarity of him at this point. Bryan lost clean with the Family being sent out early, which gives Wyatt one of the biggest wins of his career. This was about two guys having a fight because they can’t stand each other and it made for a great one.

Paul Heyman wants Brock Lesnar to challenge the winner of Randy Orton vs. John Cena for the World Title, but Big Show is standing in his way. Not that it matters of course though, because Lesnar is going to conquer.

We go to the Kickoff Show panel (Ric Flair, Jim Duggan and Shawn Michaels), with Shawn saying Bray Wyatt and Daniel Bryan are the future of WWE. Shawn is putting his chips on Bryan in any match and when it turns, it’s turning big time. Flair on the other hand will pick Brock Lesnar over Roman Reigns any day. Duggan is just kind of there.

Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Show gets up so we ring the bell, with Show managing a KO Punch to send Lesnar outside. Some more shots knock Lesnar around at ringside before they get back inside, where Show drops him with a shot to the ribs. The KO Punch misses though and Lesnar muscles him up (almost dropping him but roaring until he gets it) for the F5 and the pin at 2:02. This was more of an angle than a match but screaming Lesnar is a terrifying human being.

Post match Lesnar unloads on Show with the chair for a rather good while. The chair actually breaks so Heyman tosses in another to keep up the beating.

Shield is ready to win the Royal Rumble but they won’t tell each other their numbers.

Randy Orton is ready to beat John Cena one more time and send him to the back of the line. Renee Young brings up the list of people who want the title but Orton shrugs all of it off.

We recap John Cena vs. Randy Orton. They unified the two World Titles last month at TLC with Orton taking them both, mainly due to a variety of weapons. Now Cena gets a clean rematch, so Orton attacked Cena’s dad to make it personal, because THESE TWO need a reason to fight.

WWE World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Cena is challenging and takes him down into a quickly broken headscissors. Orton grabs a headlock into a suplex, followed by some headbutts to keep Cena down. Another headlock is reversed into a Liontamer attempt of all things but Orton kicks him outside without much trouble. The chinlock goes on again and we hit the BORING chant about five minutes in. They go outside with Orton sending him into the barricade, followed by some posing back inside.

Orton takes too long posing though and it’s an electric chair off the top to cut him down. Cena initiates the finishing sequence but the AA is countered. Instead Cena grabs a nice neckbreaker and the top rope Fameasser, but the AA is countered again. This time Orton takes him outside for the hanging DDT onto the floor, which of course doesn’t finish a thing (as it’s just a DDT onto the floor).

Back in and Orton….eventually loads up the RKO but Cena pulls him into the ST. The rope is quickly grabbed so Cena tries the AA again, but this time the referee gets bumped. Cena gets the STF again and this time Orton taps, with no referee around. The delay lets Orton get in a belt shot and the delayed cover gets two. Orton again spends WAY too much time posing, allowing Cena to grab the AA for two more.

A quick RKO gives Orton two of his own as they’re firmly in the trading finishers portion. The fans chant what sounds like WE WANT DIVAS but Orton mixes it up with his own STF. Cena slips out and grabs a crossface, which is reversed into an AA from Orton for two more. As you might guess, Cena’s ensuing RKO gets two so he puts Orton up top. The super AA is blocked so Cena grabs a tornado DDT into the STF. Orton is in trouble….and we’ve got Wyatts. Cena fights them off and that’s enough of a distraction for Orton to grab the RKO for the pin at 20:55.

Rating: B. This feels like a match that is much better if you’re away from the feud. Orton and Cena feuded for so long that it stopped having any kind of interest and the fans were pretty clearly sick of them. I can’t say I blame them either, as Orton vs. Cena was done to death for a very long time. The worst part is they had a good match with the trading finishers being something different from them. The Wyatts’ interference was certainly a surprise, and you can pretty clearly see a Wrestlemania showdown coming from here. Good match though, even if the fans weren’t interested.

Post match the Wyatts wreck Cena again to lave him laying. The Wyatts leave, with a bewildered Cena following.

Mae Young tribute video and you better believe Stephanie McMahon is narrating.

The New Age Outlaws show Renee Young how to do their introduction. They have two words for her: new champs.

Miz is going to win the Royal Rumble because he’ll do whatever it takes.

The Usos are ready to go on to main event Wrestlemania.

Big E. Langston (when he had a last name) is winning because that’s where it’s at.

Fandango says his name rather breathily.

Batista: “Exactly.”

Damien Sandow isn’t going to make mistakes.

Ryback is a human wrecking ball in a match full of superstars.

Rey Mysterio is going to win the Royal Rumble again.

The pre-show panel give their picks:

Jim Duggan: Dolph Ziggler

Shawn Michaels: the Shield or CM Punk

Ric Flair: Batista

Royal Rumble

90 second intervals, CM Punk is in at #1 and Seth Rollins is in at #2. Punk slugs away to start and strikes away but they trade running shots in the corner. They’re both down and it’s Damien Sandow in at #3. Punk fights out of a double team with a DDT/neckbreaker combination but can’t get Rollins out. Cody Rhodes is in at #4 and goes right at it with Sandow (they don’t like each other), including Cross Rhodes. Punk tosses Sandow (who is shocked) and Kane (now corporate) is in at #5.

Swagger and Rusev have the big showdown until a bunch of people go after the latter. Kofi Kingston is in at #8 and goes after Punk, who is down on the apron. With no one getting anywhere, Jimmy Uso is in at #9. Uso headbutts and strikes away but can’t toss anyone either. Goldust is in at #10, giving us Punk, Rollins, Rhodes, Rusev, Swagger, Kingston, Uso and Goldust at the one third mark.

A bunch of people get together to toss Rusev, who pulls Kofi back out (not eliminated). Kofi is laid on the barricade….which he walks down and then dives onto the apron to get back in with a heck of a leaping save. With the collective gasp over, Dean Ambrose is in at #11. That doesn’t exactly go anywhere so it’s Dolph Ziggler in at #12 with a missile dropkick to Ambrose. The ring is getting full and R-Truth is in at #13 to make it even worse.

Ambrose wastes no time in getting rid of Truth and Uso is out as well to clear the ring a bit. Kofi is sent to the apron but hangs on by his feet, even pulling off Swagger’s boot in the process. A boot to the head lets Kofi pull himself back in and it’s Kevin Nash (oh dear) in at #14. Nash knocks Swagger out before going after the Shield, who gets even stronger with Roman Reigns in at #15.

The apron dropkick hits Rhodes and a spear takes him down as well. Reigns headbutts Nash in the chest and dumps Kofi, only to get DDTed by Ziggler. That earns Ziggler a spear and he’s out rather quickly. Reigns low bridges Nash out and it’s Great Khali in at #16. The Shield wastes no time in getting rid of Khali, followed by Reigns tossing Rhodes and Goldust back to back. The TripleBomb is loaded up on Punk but the returning Sheamus is in at #17.

The ten forearms to the chest have Ambrose in trouble and the Irish Curse hits Rollins. There’s the Brogue Kick to Reigns as Sheamus is the only one let standing. The numbers have Sheamus in trouble though and it’s Miz in at #18. That doesn’t go anywhere (much like Punk, who is down in the corner holding his head with a referee talking to him) and it’s Fandango in at #19. El Torito is in at #20, giving us Punk, Rollins, Ambrose, Reigns, Sheamus, Miz, Fandango and Torito at the 2/3 mark.

Torito goes after the once again standing Punk, wh grabs him by the head but gets headscissored. A springboard missile dropkick actually eliminates Fandango but Reigns throws Torito out without much trouble. Antonio Cesaro is in at #21 (with Zeb Colter, whose sign says “you could time it yourself but they stole your watch) and starts with the Swinging. Rollins gets the big extended version and it’s Luke Harper in at #22. Rollins survives an elimination attempt and Reigns spears Cesaro. Rollins and Cesaro slug it out until Jey Uso is in at #23.

Everyone brawls near the roles and it’s JBL in at #24, with Cole getting in the cringe worthy line of “the JBL character has never entered the Royal Rumble”. JBL tells Cole to come take his coat and is quickly tossed by Reigns. Erick Rowan is in at #25 as the fans are a bit quiet here. Harper gets rid of Miz and Uso quickly follows suit. We get the big Shield vs. Wyatts showdown as Ryback is in at #26.

The GOLDBERG chants begin as Sheamus and Cesaro trade forearms. JBL: “That wasn’t a move. That was I’M GOING TO THROW MY FIST INTO YOUR FACE!” Alberto del Rio is in at #27 and no one goes anywhere. Batista (there’s the reaction, albeit not the most positive) is in at #28 and gets rid of Rowan, setting up a showdown with Ryback. A charge into the corner goes badly for Ryback, who gets backdropped out.

Del Rio kicks Batista in the face and is eliminated or his efforts. Big E. Langston is in at #29 for a bunch of backbreakers to Sheamus, who manages to hang on. The brawling on the ropes continues until Rey Mysterio is in at #30. That gives us Punk, Rollins, Ambrose, Reigns, Sheamus, Cesaro, Harper, Batista, Langston and Mysterio.

Now this bring us to the important part of the match: Rey Mysterio is not Daniel Bryan. The fans were doing the YES pose before Mysterio came out, and then it just fell apart. You could see fans looking around, wondering why this was anyone but Bryan as it is clear that this is NOT the right spot. Mysterio is an all time legend, but the fans do not want to see him here right now and the DANIEL BRYAN chants are on.

Mysterio and Punk both have to hang on to get back in as the booing continues. Sheamus gets rid of Big E., leaving Harper and Cesaro to strike it out. The 619 hits Rollins and the fans are just openly booing now. Rollins is back up with an enziguri to get rid of Mysterio and for one of the only times ever, the fans are happy to see Mysterio eliminated. The fans are chanting for Bryan as Reigns Superman Punches Harper out….but Ambrose tries to toss Reigns.

That lets Cesaro almost eliminate Rollins and Ambrose but Reigns tosses all three of them at once in a pretty awesome visual. That ties the single match elimination record for Reigns, while leaving us with Reigns, Punk, Sheamus and Batista. Cue Kane to eliminate Punk though and unload on him next to the barricade. The beating is on and Kane chokeslams Punk through the announcers’ table, giving us what would wind up being Punk’s last appearance for almost ten years.

The fans are still chanting for Bryan as the other three pull themselves up. Batista powerslams Reigns and the fans chant NO as they know where this is going. Sheamus gives Batista a Regal Roll but misses the Brogue Kick as Batista falls down, with the ans booing even more. Batista backdrops Sheamus to the apron and Reigns gets the record as we’re one on one. The fans are suddenly WAY behind Reigns but Batista cuts him off with a spear. Batista tosses Reigns for the win at 55:08.

Rating: C+. Where do you start with this one? The match certainly has its moments and there is star power throughout, with Reigns feeling like the biggest monster in the world. While some of those eliminations might have felt a little cheap, Reigns did set the record and it was quite the impressive feat. Other than that, you had the Shield vs. the Wyatts and it was a good enough Rumble.

Except for that one big thing. I have never heard a crowd turn on a match like that and it was a fascinating thing to see. At the end of the day, this was the fans outright rejecting what WWE was presenting them and there is no way around it. The fans wanted Bryan and rejected everything else when they didn’t get him. It also doesn’t help that Batista was slotted into the spot no matter what the people wanted and this was the result. It would only get worse, leading to an all time Wrestlemania. At the time though, it was one of the most tone deaf moments WWE could have had and brought a pretty good Rumble WAY down.

Overall Rating: B-. This is a VERY weird show as the main event outweighs everything else, even though the rest of the show was rather good. The World Title match was better than average and the opener was a smash, with Lesnar wrecking Big Show stuck in the middle. Then there’s the Rumble, which is overshadowed by the last five or ten minutes. It’s a show, and main event, unlike any other and that is why I wanted to see it again.

 

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