Royal Rumble Count-Up – 1999 (2016 Redo): It Never Gets Easy

Royal Rumble 1999
Date: January 24, 1999
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 14,816
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

As much as last year’s show was a necessary evil, this show is just evil in general. The company is firing on all cylinders right now but it’s much more about drama than anything else. Mankind won the world title in a shocker 20 days before this, beating the Rock in an impromptu match on Raw. Tonight is the rematch in an I Quit match, which is the only match Mankind knows he can’t lose to Rock. It turns out to be one of the most disturbing things I’ve ever seen in wrestling. Also the Rumble is nothing but a backdrop for Austin vs. Vince, which isn’t a good thing either. Let’s get to it.

Luckily for me, I’ve been reviewing the Raw’s leading up to this show, so the stories will actually be fresh in my mind for a change.

This version opens with some interviews by guys in the Rumble, talking about how the bounty on Austin (Vince has offered $100,000 to whoever knocks Austin out) has them extra fired up. Chyna getting #30 is also discussed.

Opening video is what you would expect. Also the theme song for this show is No Chance, which would become Vince’s theme song after tonight. The idea is that Austin is #1 in the Rumble and Vince is #2, meaning if Austin wants to go to Wrestlemania, he has to run the gauntlet.

Big Boss Man vs. Road Dogg

Roadie is Hardcore Champion but this is non-title and a regular match. Dang it I forgot Boss Man is a tag champion here so I can’t call one of them a champion. Boss Man runs the ropes to start so Roadie tells him to suck it. The fans get on Boss Man so he shoves Road Dogg into the corner and pounds away. The Big guy misses a splash in the corner and Dogg pounds away. The announcers ask a very good question: why isn’t this for the title? Vince could make it for the title if he wanted, but instead he makes it non-title? Why?

Anyway, Road Dogg crotches Boss Man on the post to take over but gets knocked to the floor by an elbow. Back in and Boss Man pounds away but Dogg steps on his foot to escape. That lasts for about five seconds as Boss Man kicks him in the face to take over again. We hit the bearhug and Boss Man thrusts his hips into Dogg’s crotch. There’s an image I certainly didn’t need.

Dogg bites his way out of the hold but gets kneed right back down. The buckle pad is taken off and Boss Man gets two off a spinebuster. Boss Man wins a brief slugout and chokes away again. Lawler cheers for Boss Man but Dogg grabs a sleeper to get himself a breather. Boss Man goes up for some reason and is slammed down almost immediately. Dogg comes back with his usual and gets two off the shaky knee, but the Boss Man Slam ends this out of nowhere.

Rating: C-. Meh. That’s the only word that came to my head after watching this. At the end of the day, when the Outlaws play things seriously, they get pretty dull. Boss Man was fine in this role and he played it as he always did, but that doesn’t mean he should be having twelve minute matches with the Road Dogg. Not a bad match at all, but I don’t quite get why it existed.

We get a quick recap of Billy Gunn vs. Shamrock. Gunn hit on Ryan Shamrock (Ken’s sister) and Ken snapped, giving Billy a title shot for some reason as a result.

Intercontinental Title: Billy Gunn vs. Ken Shamrock

Surprisingly enough Gunn is the aggressor to start but Ken is a bit of a better ground fighter, giving himself control. Billy comes back with a clothesline on the double (tag/IC) champion as things slow down. A suplex gets two for Gunn but he misses a charge into the corner, allowing Ken to fire off some kicks. Ken fires off more kicks to the chest and back of Gunn and gets two off a spinwheel kick.

Billy comes back out of nowhere with the yet to be named Fameasser to buy himself a breather. He pounds away in the corner but Shamrock dumps him to the floor before pounding Billy into the barricade. The beating continues as Gunn is sent into a chair to keep Shamrock in control. They fight to the apron where Gunn makes a quick comeback, hitting a kind of Stroke into the announce table.

Back in and Shamrock goes right for the knee to take over. No ankle lock yet though as Ken busts out a Robinsdale Crunch of all things. Well if nothing else he has good taste in leg moves. For those of you younger people, it’s basically Shamrock wrapping his legs around Billy’s leg and crushing it between his own knees/legs. A HARD kick to the head puts Billy down again and we hear about Billy’s bad ankle from Raw. Not that he has tape on it or has been limping for the first ten minutes of the match or anything, but apparently he has a bad ankle.

Billy comes back with a clothesline but the referee is bumped. Cue Val Venis who also has issues with Shamrock to DDT the champion, giving Billy a two count. Gunn pounds away but goes up (with a bad ankle because he’s an idiot) and crashes on the ankle. Ankle lock and we’re done.

Rating: D+. Too long here and the Venis thing didn’t change anything at all. Billy’s ankle injury was pretty stupid because you didn’t really need the stuff from Raw to set up what happened here. Shamrock got a solid midcard push around this time and even had some cups of upper midcard coffee (only $5.95 at Starbucks!). The Corporation and DX would keep feuding for a few more months.

Shane fires Vince up in the back.

European Title: Gangrel vs. X-Pac

The vampire is challenging. This is another of those matches that is there so they can have another title match on the card, meaning there’s no story that I can think of. Road Dogg might have gotten a blood bath recently but that’s about it. They hit the ropes very quickly to start with Pac grabbing an armdrag to take over. Gangrel grabs a headlock but they speed things up almost immediately again.

Pac hits a quick legdrop but misses a kick in the corner to shift momentum again. We hit the chinlock to give the guys an earned breather. The champ fights up and gets thrown into the air for two. Gangrel misses a top rope elbow and Pac gets two off his jumping clothesline. A big spinwheel kick takes Gangrel down again and X-Pac hits the Bronco Buster.

The third spinwheel kick in about four minutes takes Gangrel down, but Pac gets crotched on the top, continuing a theme tonight. Pac tries a cross body but Gangrel rolls him through for a botched near fall by referee Teddy Long (he countered three but Pac’s shoulder was up). Not that it matters as the X Factor retains the title a few seconds later.

Rating: C+. Referee’s botch aside, this was a nice surprise. Gangrel is hardly known for his in ring abilities but he looked pretty good out there tonight. Pac was better here against a smaller guy as usual, and we got a good match out of it. After the two longer and not great matches earlier, this was a nice pick up.

DX says they’re united tonight but the $100,000 bounty makes it every man (Chyna: “And woman”) for themselves. Billy was nowhere to be seen here for some reason.

Here’s Shane to be ring announcer for the next match for no apparent reason.

Women’s Title: Luna Vachon vs. Sable

Scratch that ring announcer line as apparently he’s here to accept Sable’s forfeiture of the title. This was supposed to be a strap match which had a total of 18 seconds of build on Raw. That’s not an exaggeration either. They came out during another match and that was the only mention. Luna attacked Sable on Heat before the show tonight and injured the champ’s back, but Sable wants to fight anyway.

This is the four corners variety so Sable can look TOUGH here. Sable shoves her into the corner and whips Luna to the floor. She keeps whipping Luna and gets three corners but Luna makes the stop. We get more choking and whipping before Luna drags Sable around with both of them getting the buckles at the same time. You know, like in every other strap match EVER. Shane gets up on the apron before Sable gets the buckle, but Sable’s psycho fan Tori uses the distraction to deck Luna, giving sable the win.

Rating: D. Sable was insanely over back in 98, but at this point it was starting to wear thin. I always felt sorry for Luna who never got to win the Women’s Title. She really would have been a good choice for an evil chick for some blonde heroine to beat, but instead we got worthless lumps like Jackie. Nothing to see here but it could have been worse.

The Corporation says it’s everyone for themselves.

We recap Rock vs. Mankind, which we’ve covered already. Rock lost the title on January 4 on Raw so he wanted a rematch. Mankind kept saying no until Rock said he’d quit trying, which Mankind immediately accepted. The idea is that Mankind has never quit and has been through so much punishment that there’s nothing Rock can do to beat him.

Rock says that he isn’t just some other guy to Mankind, and he’s going to be the first man to make Mankind give up. If you’ve never seen it and have a stomach for blood, I can highly recommend the documentary Beyond the Mat, which is about the behind the scenes world in the WWF and this match is a focus of the film. This promo was being filmed by the documentary cameras and Mankind was about three feet from Rock here. More on this later.

WWF World Title: The Rock vs. Mankind

I Quit rules here. Rock is in his workout gear, which means his male breast enlargement surgery scars haven’t quite healed yet. There isn’t a single bit of sarcasm or humor in that statement. Mankind is defending and had to fight on Heat against the 500lb Mabel. Also the champ has recently gotten his most well known theme song, but it’s still the original version here which doesn’t have the clapping in it yet.

Mankind takes over early and hits his running knee to Rock’s head in the corner. He pounds away on Rock but Rock isn’t ready to quit yet. Some mic shots to the head keep Rock down but he still won’t say it. The Cactus Clothesline puts both guys on the floor but Rock gets in a shot to take over. They head to the commentary desk where Rock talks some trash to King before getting hit in the back by a chair.

Back in and there’s the double arm DDT from the champ. Mr. Socko makes an appearance to put the Claw on Rock. King: “But you can’t talk with your mouth full!” The hold puts Rock out, meaning he can’t say he quits. Not the smartest move in the world there Mick. We brawl into the crowd but Rock hits a kind of suplex to take them back to ringside. There’s the bell ringing spot (Rock puts the bell on Mankind’s head and rings said bell) before singing a bit as only Rock can pull off in the middle of a match.

Rock loads up the Rock Bottom on the table but it gives way, crashing them to the floor. They slug it out some more and head up the aisle where Mankind clotheslines Rock down. Up to the tech area now and Rock hits the snap DDT onto the concrete. It’s ladder time (almost kind of foreshadowing in a way) but Rock gets crushed underneath it before he can use it. Mankind misses an elbow drop onto the ladder and both guys are down again.

Rock sets up the ladder next to the tech area and they climb up to a ledge in front of a balcony. The slugout ensues and Mankind is knocked off the ledge and onto the electrical stuff which shoots sparks and knocks out the arena lights for a few seconds. Mankind is mostly dead on the floor so here’s Shane to come out and ask Rock to chill a bit. Rock says he’s going to make Mankind say he quits, but he won’t ask him. You know, because Mankind isn’t going to say it and Rock knows this. Cole of course doesn’t get it and whines for about five minutes about it.

We head back into the ring where Mankind is basically out on the mat. Cole: “How is Mick Foley standing?” HE’S FREAKING LAY…..never mind. It’s not worth trying to get through Cole’s thick head. Anyway, Rock finds some handcuffs and this is about to get bad. Rock starts pounding away at Mankind’s unprotected head. Somewhere in there the champ was busted open.

Mankind comes back with a pair of low blows and headbutts (remember his arms are handcuffed behind his back). Rock clotheslines him down….and grabs a chair. We get the Corporate Elbow on the chair on Mankind’s head, but that’s just the beginning. Mick won’t quit, so Rocky hits him in the head (remember, unprotected) twice with HARD chair shots. Here are three more to finally knock Mankind down and out to the floor.

Even Lawler says that’s enough, but Rock hits Mankind in the back and side of the head with the chair. There is blood EVERYWHERE. Rock has a clear shot at Mankind’s back but instead waits for him to stand up and hit him in the head again. ANOTHER shot (we’re up to about 12 now) to the head puts Foley down and Mankind SCREAMS that he quits. Note that Mankind isn’t moving an inch and there’s a noticeable echo to his voice which there hasn’t been all night. That would come into play on Raw the next night.

Rating: B. This is a REALLY hard one to grade because the last five minutes are nothing but disturbing. We saw a guy completely defenseless and having his head smashed in with a piece of metal by a world class athlete. Pre Benoit or post Benoit, that’s a completely unnecessary risk and a terrifying thing to see. I love these two fighting, but this was legitimately disturbing.

Again, if you’ve never seen it, check out Beyond the Mat. It shows Mankind’s wife and family in the audience in terror watching this, but you can only hear the sound of the chair shots. If it was a horror movie it would be absolutely chilling. Also it shows Foley in the back looking at himself after the beating and the first time he looks in a mirror he stops almost cold. This went WAY too far.

We recap the Rumble, which is literally all about Vince vs. Austin and Austin’s path back to the title which begins tonight. Vince keeps screwing Austin out of the title but he’s kept coming back to get another shot. That’s most of the year in a nutshell actually.

Earlier tonight Austin came in on a monster truck limo for no apparent reason. He got in Vince’s face earlier as well, resulting in the Stooges getting beaten up.

Royal Rumble

There’s a $100,000 bounty on Austin’s head and we have Austin at #1 and Vince at #2. I think you can see what’s coming from here. The intervals are 90 seconds here. Howard goes into a REALLY long winded explanation of the rules, causing Lawler to freak out on him. Vince of course takes the chance to show off his impressive physique. Austin immediately pounds away as Cole sums up Vince vs. Austin: “How often do you get to see an employee rip the CEO of a Fortune 500 company apart?”

Austin destroys Vince for a few moments with basic stuff until Golga is #3. There’s the Thesz Press and Golga slides in but Austin knocks him out in 15 seconds. Vince rolls to the floor and heads into the crowd with Austin chasing after him. They brawl (read as Austin punches him and Vince staggers away) up the crowd as there’s no one in the ring. Droz comes in at #4 with no one to fight. See, why did Golga have to be eliminated? It doesn’t sound great but having Droz vs. Golga is better than nothing.

Anyway, Vince and Austin brawl into the back and into a ladies’ room where the Corporation jumps Austin. Naturally the camera feed is lost so we don’t see what actually happens. We come back to the arena to see Droz just standing there. The years away from meaning anything Edge is #5 to actually give us some action. After about 45 seconds, Gillberg is #6. The hilarious entrance takes forever and Edge dumps him in about five seconds.

We cut back to the bathroom and Austin is out cold on the floor. Steve Blackman is #7 as the low level stuff continues. I mean, at the end of the day NO ONE in the ring at the moment is going to be bought as a serious contender here. Austin is being treated by EMTs as Blackman fires off kicks to Edge. Dan Severn and his wet t-shirt are #8. He and Blackman have the WWF style MMA fight as we see Austin on a stretcher. That’s about the fourth time we’ve cut to Austin and away from the ring.

Tiger Ali Singh (think an Indian Ted DiBiase with ZERO charisma) is #9 as we see the ambulance drive away. The five nothings in the ring continue to waste our time until Blue Meanie is #10. Again in way less than 90 seconds, there’s no #11. We cut to the back (running theme tonight) and see Mabel beating up Mosh to take his place in the match. He immediately dumps Severn and Blackman plus Singh. There go Meanie and Droz, leaving us with Edge, Mabel and Road Dogg who is #12. Road Dogg dumps Edge and there go the lights.

Taker’s music hits and we have the Acolytes and Mideon in the ring beating up Mabel. They dump him out, yet AGAIN leaving us with just one person standing there. Taker and Bearer pop up and stare down Mabel, apparently hypnotizing him, which would lead to Mabel becoming Viscera. Gangrel is #13 with his rocking entrance music. There goes Gangrel so we stand around a bit more.

Kurrgan is #14 and destroys Dogg with power stuff. Psycho Al Snow is #15 and helps double team Kurrgan. Snow tries to get on the ropes for more leverage and is immediately dumped by Dogg. Goldust is #16 and Kurrgan gets double teamed again. With the big man down, Roadie tries Shattered Dreames on Goldie. Kurrgan saves Goldust for no apparent reason and it’s Dogg that goes down instead.

Godfather is #17 but the Ho’s leave, ticking off the fans. After about 30 seconds of Godfather being in the ring, here’s Kane at #18 to FINALLY give us some star power. The ring is cleared in about 30 seconds and the place goes nuts for Kane. Since having Kane as a dominant monster to set up a showdown with another big name would be interesting, the people from the insane asylum come out to try to institutionalize Kane (just go with it), so he eliminates himself.

Shamrock is #19 with no one to fight. Vince comes back out to do commentary. Billy Gunn limps to the ring at #20 and is immediately taken down with a leg shot. The beating goes on for awhile until Test is #21. We cut to the back (AGAIN) to see Mabel being beaten into a hearse. An ambulance pulls up and it’s being drive by a certain bald headed Rattlesnake. Because clearly a guy can be beaten down, wake up less than 20 minutes later, get out of an ambulance bed, take over the ambulance, and get back to the arena in under half an hour.

Austin comes back to the ring as Boss Man is #22. Austin chases Vince around and into the ring but gets jumped by Shamrock. That’s it for Kenny so here’s HHH at #23, giving us three tall guys with long blonde hair. Billy goes after Austin for the sake of the money as Vince plays cheerleader. Vince tries not to slip into commentator mode as he talks about people wanting the money.

Val Venis is #24 and Austin dumps Billy. X-Pac is #25 and Val pounds on Austin. He kicks Steve to the floor as we’re just waiting on the Austin and Vince interaction. A spinwheel kick from Pac puts Austin down as Mark Henry is #26. Henry swings for Austin but decks Boss Man instead. Jeff Jarrett is #27 and nothing happens again. Pac kicks at a lot of people and hits the Bronco Buster on Boss Man.

In a somewhat famous bit, HHH is clearly heard asking Val if he can hang on if HHH throws him over the ropes. After that punch to kayfabe’s stomach, D’Lo Brown is #28. Austin dumps Test and X-Pac to give us some more mat space. Boss Man and Jarrett team up to try to eliminate Austin but he fights them off again. There goes Jarrett as Owen Hart is #29. Austin spits at Vince as the ring is way too full.

Chyna is #30, giving us a final group of Chyna, Austin, Vince, Boss Man, HHH, Venis, Henry, Brown, Hart and Chyna. Chyna manages to dump Henry but is knocked out almost immediately by Austin. HHH throws Val out to get us down to five. There’s a Stunner to dump HHH and get us down to five guys. Austin avoids a dropkick from Brown and they fight in the corner a bit.

Owen hits the enziguri on Austin and is backdropped out just a few seconds later. Boss Man takes Austin down and Brown hits the Low Down. Brown poses too long though and Boss Man tosses him, only to get tossed by Austin. We’re down to Austin vs. McMahon and the beating is on. Austin destroys Vince with a chair shot and the boss is in big trouble. We head back inside and Vince hits a quick low blow to give himself a breather. Austin comes back with the Stunner and beats on Vince until Rock comes out. Rock and Austin have their staredown, allowing Vince to dump Austin and win the Rumble.

Rating: F. No. This was a failure on every level. The premise was stupid, the execution was TERRIBLE, and Vince winning makes the whole thing a big joke. We had THREE part where the booking resulted in the ring being empty. Who in the world thought that was a goo….oh yeah this is still Russo Time. Absolutely horrible here and the worst Rumble of all time, pretty much by far.

Vince has a BIG celebration to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. The Rumble SUCKED, the title match was decent, and the rest of the show was either bad or forgettable. That’s more or less 1999 in a nutshell. On top of that, this would all mean NOTHING by the next week, as we had Halftime Heat coming up to give Mankind the title back, as well as Vince forfeiting his title shot at Mania, resulting in Austin going anyway. Just awful overall.

Ratings Comparison

Big Boss Man vs. Road Dogg

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Ken Shamrock vs. Billy Gunn

Original: D+

Redo: C+

X-Pac vs. Gangrel

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Sable vs. Luna Vachon

Original: F

Redo: D

The Rock vs. Mankind

Original: B

Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: F

Redo: F

Overall Rating

Original: D-

Redo: D

It still sucks.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/18/royal-rumble-count-up-1999-please-make-it-stop/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Royal Rumble Count-Up – 1994 (2025 Edition): Double Shot

Royal Rumble 1994
Date: January 22, 1994
Location: Providence Civic Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Attendance: 14,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Ted DiBiase

We’re in the New Generation and that means we could be in for something interesting. In theory it means we’ll be seeing some rather good in-ring action, though the star power is hit and miss at best. In addition to the Royal Rumble itself, we also have the Undertaker challenging Yokozuna for the WWF Title in a casket match. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is your usual look at some of the bigger names, with the videos seemingly being displayed on the side of buildings. Kind of an odd odd.

Ted DiBiase is brought out as the other half of the commentary team, which seems to surprise McMahon. Well dude you hired him.

Tatanka vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Bigelow, with Luna Vachon, is replacing an injured Ludvig Borga (he would never wrestle for the WWF again). Tatanka strikes away to start and takes Bigelow down with an armbar. That’s broken up and Tatanka misses a high crossbody so he tries a top rope sunset flip. That doesn’t go well either as Bigelow sits on his chest for two, followed by a bearhug. Tatanka fights out and hits a quick powerslam but they both try crossbodies to leave them both down. Back up and Tatanka hits the war path but misses a charge and goes down. The moonsault misses for Bigelow though and a high crossbody gives Tatanka the pin at 8:21.

Rating: C. Perfectly decent opener here as the match was designed to be about Tatanka trying to get revenge on Borga but they didn’t have a better choice. This worked as well as it could have, with Tatanka still being a completely serviceable midcard star. It wasn’t great, but it was acceptable enough for their situation.

We recap the Hart Brothers challenging the Quebecers for the Tag Team Titles. Owen is feeling forgotten by Bret, mainly after being eliminated from their match at the Survivor Series. Owen said he was tired of living in Bret’s shadow and wanted a match between the two of them. Bret refused but had a better idea: they win the Tag Team Titles. This worked for Owen (even though he said he was going to take off with Bret right behind him) and we’re ready to go.

We look at the Quebecers losing and regaining the Tag Team Titles in a series with Marty Jannetty and the 1-2-3 Kid.

Bret (standing in front of Owen) are ready to face any challengers.

WWF, Royal Rumble, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Quebecers

IMG Credit: WWE

Tag Team Titles: Bret Hart/Owen Hart vs. Quebecers

The Quebecers, with Johnny Polo, are defending. Bret and Pierre start things off with Bret taking over and working on a wristlock. Owen comes in for his spinning wristlock escape and it’s off to Jacques, who offers a handshake. A suplex puts Jacques down and he bails over to the corner for a hug from Pierre. And a mini version from Polo, who doesn’t want to feel left out. An enziguri puts Jacques down and something like a Demolition Decapitator gets two. Pierre comes in to take over on Owen in the corner but Owen dives over Bret for a rollup and near fall.

The champs bail out to the floor (likely for more hugging) before Pierre comes in and gets clotheslined. It’s back to Bret, who gets caught in a powerslam to let the Quebecers take over. Bret gets choked on the ropes and some running knees to the back give Jacques two. Pierre dives into a raised boot though and it’s Owen coming in to clean house. Everything breaks down and Owen grabs a quick Sharpshooter, which is broken up with a bulldog.

A hot shot rocks Owens again but he’s back with a double running dropkick. The tag brings in Bret and Pierre is sent outside, though Polo low bridges Bret to the floor. Bret comes up clutching his knee and that’s never a good sign. Naturally the champions are smart enough to start in on the knee, including a chair shot from Jacques.

More shots to the knee keep Bret down and Owen sends Pierre into the steps, which doesn’t really do much good. Back in and a middle rope legdrop to the back of the head gets two and Pierre goes after the leg again. The Cannonball misses….but Bret won’t tag, instead trying the Sharpshooter on Pierre. The knee gives out though and the referee says Bret can’t continue at 16:47.

Rating: B-. I remember seeing this match when I was a kid and thinking Bret was completely wrong, which is still the case here. There was zero reason for Bret to not tag out and let Owen come in other than he didn’t think Owen was good enough. It was just a straight up heel move and Owen was totally justified, especially after everything else he had done. The match was all about telling the story of Bret going too far, though he and Owen did work very well together.

Post match Owen screams at Bret and kicks his leg out (amen). With a bunch of agents out there helping Bret, Ray Rougeau comes out to check on Bret’s status, even wanting to talk to Bret himself. Dude he’s getting help from Pat Patterson and Rene Goulet. He’s already in enough trouble.

Anyway Bret is carried out on a stretcher with Owen popping up on screen to rant about Bret being selfish (yep). They even stop the stretcher in front of the screen so Bret can watch (GEEZ PEOPLE) as Owen says he kicked the leg out from his….leg. Yeah Owen screwed the line up, but this was a heck of a heel turn, even though he was pretty much totally justified.

Ted DiBiase applauds Owen for what he did. Owen as part of the Million Dollar Corporation could have worked well.

Jim Ross and Gorilla Monsoon, of Radio WWF, step in for the next match. And yes, Radio WWF is exactly what it sounds like and no it didn’t work.

WWF, Royal Rumble, IRS, Razor Ramon

IMG Credit: WWE

Intercontinental Title: IRS vs. Razor Ramon

Ramon is defending and IRS accuses everyone here of being a tax cheat. Ramon slugs him down to start and even more right hands send IRS outside for a breather. Back in and an atomic drop into a clothesline drops IRS again, only to have him send Ramon outside. A posting has Ramon down again so IRS goes up top. The boot is raised but IRS sees it coming like a bad sweat attack and drops an elbow instead.

The chinlock doesn’t last long so it’s a legdrop into…well another chinlock. Ramon fights up and punches away, setting up a fall away slam. The referee gets bumped in the corner though but the briefcase is taken away. A shot to the face drops IRS but there’s no referee. The Razor’s Edge is loaded up but Shawn Michaels runs in with the other Intercontinental Title to knock Ramon silly. That’s enough to give IRS the pin and the title…but another referee comes out to say what happened. Ramon grabs a Razor’s Edge for the pin at 11:45.

Rating: C-. Yeah you know what you’re getting here, as IRS is technically sound but he’s just not that much to watch in the ring. His stuff is so dry and it can make a rough sit, though he’s kind of perfect for the spot. Ramon got a nice title defense and that’s all it needed to be. Fine enough use of Ramon, but not a very good match, even with the false finish.

We recap Undertaker vs. Yokozuna for the latter’s WWF Title. Undertaker wants the title and has built an extra large casket, naturally with Yokozuna being terrified of a casket. Well yeah, a lot of people are. We get various scenes of the casket being built and then taken away in a cart (though Undertaker standing there after it is taken away is a cool visual). They also did the “Yokozuna opens the casket and Undertaker is inside” deal, which scared him all over again. This went on for a good while and it got almost silly instead of a serious title match.

Royal Rumble, Undertaker, Mr. Fuji, Yokozuna, WWF

IMG Credit: WWE

WWF Title: Undertaker vs. Yokozuna

Yokozuna (with Jim Cornette and. Mr. Fuji) is defending in a casket match and Paul Bearer is here with Undertaker. The uppercuts have Yokozuna in trouble to start and a running shot knocks him out to the floor. Back in and Old School connects but Undertaker misses the big jumping clothesline. Undertaker knocks him outside and they trade chair shots to the head with Yokozuna getting the better of things.

Back in and a headbutt knocks Undertaker silly but it’s too early to put him in the casket. Undertaker fights up and hits a kind of choke shove (no elevation due to gravity), followed by the running DDT. It’s time to put Yokozuna in the casket but cue Crush to go after Undertaker, who takes him down anyway. Now it’s Kabuki and Tenryu to slow Undertaker down, with Bam Bam Bigelow coming in as well.

Fuji steals the urn from Bearer, who kicks Fuji in the ribs and steals the urn back, allowing him to bash the other managers. The power of the urn brings Undertaker back so here is Jeff Jarrett to help the villains. Adam Bomb comes in as well and here are the Headshrinkers to finally put Undertaker down.

The casket is opened and he’s put inside but fights out AGAIN (the place is losing it for the comeback and…well yeah understandably so). Diesel comes in as well as Yokozuna steals the urn and actually opens it, revealing a bunch of green smoke. The beatdown is on again and everyone unloads on him with all kinds of stuff to FINALLY get him in the casket to retain the title at 14:22.

Rating: C. I’m really not sure what to think of this as it sound up being 10 (12 counting the managers) on 2 at the end (ok 2.5 if you count Bearer) and the comebacks had the people going nuts. That being said, the match itself was pretty slow and sluggish, with the regular action being little more than a setup for the big stuff at the end. Either way, it’s certainly memorable and that’s what matters the most.

Post match the casket is wheeled out and the gong sounds. We go to Casket Cam, with undertaker looking up and saying that you will soon see his rebirth and he will never rest in peace. Then his body raises up through the top of the video screen (just go with it, and no it wasn’t Marty Jannetty) and disappears. This is interesting, as when I was a kid, I couldn’t actually see the body, so I thought Undertaker just disappeared. Seeing it on a better TV, you can still only kind of see the silhouette (ignore where the hat came from), but at least it makes some more sense.

It’s time for the rapid fire “I’m going to win the Royal Rumble” comments from Randy Savage, Jeff Jarrett, Tatanka, Diesel, Doink, Shawn Michaels and Lex Luger.

Royal Rumble, Shawn Michaels, Greg Valentine, Tatanka, Bam Bam Bigelow, Bret Hart, Lex Luger

IMG Credit: WWE

Royal Rumble

90 second intervals with Scott Steiner in at #1 and Samu in at #2. Shockingly enough, they hit each other rather hard with Samu getting the better of things until Rick Steiner is in at #3. DiBiase wants to see the Steiners fight but they need a voice of reason to say “yeah, or the Steiners could then beat up everyone else and fight at the end”. A belly to belly and Steiner Line have Samu in trouble and he misses a charge to get his head caught in the ropes.

Samu is knocked out and it’s Kwang in at #4, meaning it’s some green mist to Rick. Kwang beats on both of them and it’s Owen Hart in at #5. The villains pair off and Owen actually gets rid of Rick. Bart Gunn is in at #6 and they pair off again as we’re told that something has happened backstage. Well I would hope that they’re not just all standing there like statues. Kwang hits a good superkick on Bart and it’s Diesel in at #7 to toss everyone with ease. The ring is cleared out and it’s Bob Backlund in at #8.

Backlund is smart enough to stay low to the mat and go for the legs, to the point where he almost gets Diesel over. Diesel fights that off and throws him out, before Billy Gunn is in at #9. And there goes Billy, as we go to the back where Tenryu and Kabuki have jumped Lex Luger. Virgil is in at #10 (DiBiase: “WHERE DID HE COME FROM? Ok I’m going to enjoy this McMahon.”) as an alternate for Kamala and tries some jabs, only to get hit in the face and dumped out.

Randy Savage is in at #11 to give Diesel some real competition as he hammers away to start. The shots to the face and some choking in the corner even have DiBiase impressed. Diesel gets knocked down in the corner and it’s Jeff Jarrett in at #12. Jarrett knocks Savage down and throws him over, only for Savage to skin the cat. Savage tosses Jarrett and it’s Crush (whom Savage absolutely hates) in at #13.

Savage is of course all over him with right hands and ax handles but Savage switches to Diesel, allowing Crush to get in a shot from behind. Doink The Clown is in at #14 as Savage is tossed out. Doink sprays water at Diesel and steps on their feet, which is about as long as the good lasts. Bam Bam Bigelow is in at #15 as Doink is out, leaving us with the three monsters to fight each other. Mabel is in at #16 (as Doink is being helped out) and it’s a four way monster fight as the clock seems to be getting shorter.

Sparky Plugg (replacing an injured 1-2-3 Kid) is in at #17 and everyone gets together on the ropes but no one is out. Shawn Michaels is in at #18 and has a staredown with Diesel (his bodyguard) but a bunch of people get together and toss Diesel (Michaels might have shoved but it’s not clear). Mo is in at #19 to help Mabel a bit and things slow down. It’s Greg Valentine (he has to be an alternate) in at #20, giving us Crush, Bigelow, Mabel, Plugg, Michaels, Mo and Valentine at the two thirds mark.

Bigelow and Mo (what a team) beat on Valentine and Mabel and Plugg team up (part of why I love the Rumble). Tatanka is in at #21 as the ring is getting too full. Great Kabuki is in at #22 and a bunch of people get together to toss Mabel. Lex Luger is in at #23 and throws his variety of punches before getting rid of Kabuki. Things slow back down and it’s Tenryu in at #24.

Tenryu chops away at Luger and kicks him in the face as….no one is here at #25. Commentary thinks it was supposed to be Bret Hart as the fairly listless brawling continues. Rick Martel is in at #26 as there are some rather fillery people in here. Luger and Tatanka slug it out until Michaels cuts Luger off. A very limping Bret Hart is in at #27, with commentary being stunned. He takes his time getting to the ring and knocks Crush down as Fatu is in at #28.

A bunch of people get together and throw Crush out as March Jannetty is in at #29 as we’re told the missing entrant was a sick Bastion Booger. Jannetty goes right at it with Michaels in quite the heated brawl but Tenryu breaks it up. Jannetty’s superkick staggers Michaels and he grabs a sleeper as Adam Bomb is in at #30. That gives us a final grouping of Bigelow, Plugg, Michaels, Mo, Valentine, Tatanka, Luger, Tenryu, Martel, Hart, Fatu, Jannetty and Bomb.

That’s FAR too many so Michaels gets rid of Plugg, leaving Hart to beat on Mo in one of those Only In The Royal Rumble pairings. Michaels starts in on Hart’s bad knee but gets kicked into the post for his efforts. Martel gets rid of Valentine (who might have slipped out, though it doesn’t really matter) and then gets tossed himself, with Bomb following him for another quick elimination. Mo and Tatanka are out too, followed by Bigelow and Jannetty as we get rid of some people in a hurry.

We’re down to Luger, Michaels, Tenryu, Fatu and Hart. Tenryu sends Fatu and Michaels head to head, with the expected result. Fatu and Michaels are whipped into each other so Tenryu goes after Luger, who tosses him as well. That leaves us with four so Michaels goes after Hart (it seems so appropriate) and Luger faceplants Fatu. Since NO ONE CAN EVER LEARN IN THESE THINGS, Fatu superkicks him down and hits a middle rope fist drop. Fatu and Michaels are tossed out, leaving Hart and Luger to slug it out. They both go over the top at the same time and that’s….apparently it at 55:04.

Rating: B-. This is a tricky Rumble, as there are certainly good parts, including Diesel’s monster run (which the company and fans both noticed), the ending and Hart’s performance in general, but there are also some dead spots that drag it down. While it isn’t quite an all time Rumble, it’s certainly a good enough one and that’s an acceptable result. It did a good job of selling the drama of not knowing who was winning and there were some interesting “every man for themselves” moment. Solid Rumble, though it could have been better with some tweaks.

Post match one referee says it was Luger and another says it was Bret. The replays show that they landed at pretty much the exact same time and it couldn’t have gone much better. Eventually Jack Tunney comes out to say they’re co winners, which set up the unofficial tournament at Wrestlemania X.

Respect is shown and we get some quick stills to wrap up the show.

Overall Rating: B-. The Rumble is such a unique show as one match eats up so much of the card. That was the case here and I liked the Rumble well enough. The problem is almost nothing else really stands out, save for maybe Owen Hart going completely nuts in his turn. Well that and Undertaker being….whatever he was supposed to be. It certainly has some memorable moments and the ending to the Rumble is a classic, so we’ll call it a good enough show with some weak parts.

Results
Tatanka b. Bam Bam Bigelow – High crossbody
Quebecers b. Bret Hart/Owen Hart via referee stoppage
Razor Ramon b. IRS – Razor’s Edge
Yokozuna b. Undertaker – Yokozuna put Undertaker in the casket
Lex Luger and Bret Hart co-won the Royal Rumble last eliminating each other

 

 

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Royal Rumble Count-Up – 1992 (2023 Redo): Yeah This One

Royal Rumble 1992
Date: January 19, 1992
Location: Knickerbocker Arena, Albany, New York
Attendance: 17,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

It’s time to get back to one of the classics as this one comes up on the request list pretty regularly. Since this is going to be my fourth time looking at it, odds are this is going to be the last time I look at it for a very good while. You probably know the big attraction by heart at this point and that should be more than enough to carry the whole thing. Let’s get to it.

We open with Vince McMahon narrating a list of Royal Rumble entrants, which does have a certain charm as he is SO into it.

Commentary runs down most of the card. There are only five matches, so a full list wouldn’t be too much to ask.

Orient Express vs. New Foundation

The Express (Kato/Tanaka) has Mr. Fuji with them. Owen and Kato start things off as Heenan ignores everything else to talk about Ric Flair in the Royal Rumble (fair enough in this case). Kato’s O’Connor roll is countered into an armbar, followed by a running hurricanrana to give Owen two. Neidhart comes in for an armbar of his own before it’s off to Tanaka for another showdown.

Tanaka bounces off of Neidhart as commentary talks about Neidhart’s questionable sanity. A spinebuster sets up Owen’s middle rope elbow as commentary finally starts talking about the match in front of them. That lasts all of ten seconds as we switch over to the Mountie winning the Intercontinental Title from a rather sick Bret Hart (not quite) at a recent house show. Heenan: “He had a 104 degree temperature. I’ve wrestled with an 113 degree temperature! It’s not that big of a deal!”

Neidhart hits a double clothesline to set up Owen’s high crossbody, followed by a spinwheel kick for two on Kato. Tanaka gets in a kick from the apron though and a Fuji cane shot lets the villains take over. Kato is back up with a jumping back elbow for two as Heenan tries to leave to consult with Flair before the Rumble. We get our first “fair to Flair” of the day as Owen does Breth’s chest first into the buckle bump. A superkick gives Tanaka two so he does it again, setting up a headbutt to the, ahem, lower abdomen (even commentary isn’t sure on that one).

Owen fights up and gets over for the tag but the referee doesn’t see it thanks to a well timed distraction (because the classics always work). Instead a belly to belly plants Tanaka for two, leaving them both down. Neidhart gets drawn in again, allowing a double clothesline for two on Owen. Another superkick drops Owen again but he gets back up with a double dropkick. The hot tag brings in Neidhart to clean house as everything breaks down. Owen hits a heck of a suicide dive on Kato, setting up the Rocket Launcher for the pin (Monsoon: “Sayonara baby!”) at 17:19.

Rating: C+. This is the kind of match that I miss in modern wrestling: take some talented people and put them in the ring together for a good while with little on the line. I get why it wouldn’t go over well today, but dang it is a nice flashback to a different era. The New Foundation wasn’t exactly as good as the Harts, but they were good enough to put in a nice effort like this one here.

We look at the Mountie defeating the sick Bret Hart to win the Intercontinental Title. Mountie kept the beatdown going after the match until Roddy Piper made the save. Another sneak attack from Mountie didn’t work, but now we have a title match.

Jimmy Hart is ECSTATIC over the Mountie winning the title. Mountie promises to beat Roddy Piper up, while taking his manhood AND his skirt.

Roddy Piper says we’re looking at one of the original Village People in the Mountie. First, Mountie wants to take Piper’s integrity, but Piper doesn’t have any! Then he’s coming for Piper’s manhood. Piper is here to wrestle, but he doesn’t know what Mountie is here to do. Tonight, Piper can win two titles and now he has to go win the first one.

Intercontinental Title: Roddy Piper vs. The Mountie

Mountie is defending and has Jimmy Hart in his corner. Piper unloads to start and Mountie bails outside fast. A Hart distraction lets Mountie get in a few shots, followed by some leapfrogs back inside. You can only do that to Piper for so long though as he sends Mountie into the buckle a few times. There’s a bulldog out of the corner as commentary bickers about how many rights Heenan has.

Hart’s distraction lets Mountie get in a few shots, including some face first rams into the buckle. A sunset flip gives Piper two as Heenan again claims the 113 degree temperature, which he survived thanks to half of a children’s Aspirin. Back up and Piper sends him over the top, only to have Mountie skin the cat. Piper sends him into an interfering Hart though, grabs the sleeper, and wins the title at 5:20.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing, but was anyone buying the Mountie as having a chance against Piper? The whole thing was a way to transition the title off of Bret to set up the eventual showdown with Piper at Wrestlemania. Piper winning a title after all those years as a star is great to see though and that was the other major point. Bad match, but a good result.

Post match Hart tries to come in with Mountie’s shock stick, which Piper takes and uses on the Mountie instead. We do get a classic Fink AND NEEEEW moment, with Piper getting to hold the title for a great moment.

Hulk Hogan is ready to win the Royal Rumble, where he won’t have any friends because he wants the WWF Title back.

The Bushwhackers and Jamison (a disturbingly nerdy guy with a bad suit and a sock sitting out of his pocket) are ready for the Beverly Sisters’ final fling. They’ll beat up the Genius too.

Bushwhackers vs. Beverly Brothers

Jamison and the Genius are here too. We hit the stall button to start, with two and a half minutes passing before the Brothers jump Luke to start the physicality. Luke fights up and bites the back of Blake’s tights, setting up a double forearm to put the Brothers outside. We settle down to Beau vs. Butch as commentary talks about Jack Tunney actually doing something lately.

Beau gets in a cheap shot to take over as commentary talks about 20,000 fans here (17,000 official, so at least it’s not that far off). Everything breaks down again and the Bushwhackers clear the ring for the second time as we are somehow almost seven minutes into this. The Beverlies both try sneaking up from behind to even less avail but this time Butch goes outside to beat up Beau. A cheap shot to Luke finally gets us into a more traditional match, with the Beverlys taking turns with the elbows. Jamison: “Stop cheating!”

A backbreaker puts Luke down again and there’s a headbutt to the back for two. Heenan rants about his tax money going to Jamison as this match just keeps going. Luke gets beaten up again as genius slaps Jamison. One shot is finally enough for Luke to get over for the tag to Butch so house can be cleaned. The Battering Ram hits Blake and a running headbutt gets two on Beau. The referee has to get Luke out though and Blake hits a top rope ax handle to pin Butch at 14:56.

Rating: D-. Yowza this was a horrible match, with nothing good in the way of wrestling, a bunch of repetitive stalling and a lame ending. This was one of the worst pay per view matches I’ve ever seen from the WWF and the time would have been better used by airing an old pinball tournament. Awful in every sense.

Post match the Bushwhackers clean house and hold Genius back so Jamison can kick him in the shin. Good for him I’m sure.

The Legion Of Doom is ready for the Natural Disasters because they’ll fight anyone. Hawk wants the Disasters’ tongues hanging out like dead deers’.

Tag Team Titles: Natural Disasters vs. Legion Of Doom

The Disasters, with Jimmy Hart, are challenging. Hawk wastes no time in swinging away at Typhoon and everything breaks down quickly. Earthquake comes in and shrugs off Hawk’s dropkick, only to miss a (decent actually) dropkick attempt of his own. Gorilla: “He wouldn’t have hit Sky Low Low with that one!” Well no, as it would have been two feet above Low Low’s head. Think Monsoon.

It’s off to Animal for a double clothesline and knockdown, followed by Animal’s failed slam attempt to put him in trouble again. That lasts all of three seconds as Typhoon comes back in and gets his arm cranked, allowing the tag back to Hawk. A backbreaker cuts Hawk down and Typhoon adds a running crotch attack to the back. The required bearhug goes on before Earthquake steps on Hawk’s ribs.

Another bearhug goes on as Heenan is trying to pay someone to go to the back to get Flair information. This one is broken up just as quickly as the other, leaving Earthquake to miss a splash in the corner. Hawk manages a middle rope elbow to the head and it’s finally off to Animal to pick up the pace. Everything breaks down and they fight to the floor, with only Typhoon beating the count back in for the win at 9:24.

Rating: D+. While it wasn’t good, this is just slightly better than the other tag match and that is what matters here. At the end of the day, the match was about setting up something in the future, even if that didn’t quite happen. The match wasn’t exactly fun to watch, as Earthquake and Typhoon are only going to be able to do so much in the ring. Throw in the LOD being a bit limited in their own right and this was about as good as it was going to get.

Post match the brawl is on and the Disasters are cleared out.

In the back, Jimmy Hart and the Disasters rant a lot.

Roddy Piper is very happy with his win and dedicates it to his son Colt.

After a clip of the famous Barber Shop split, Shawn Michaels doesn’t care that Marty Jannetty is out of the Rumble because Shawn is going to win it anyway.

Ric Flair has drawn #3 and doesn’t care, because he’s Ric Flair.

Randy Savage is ready to get back to the top of the mountain.

Sid Justice is ready to win the Royal Rumble.

Repo Man is ready to repossess the WWF Title.

British Bulldog is ready to win another battle royal, just like he won another one last year at Royal Albert Hall in London.

Jake Roberts is ready to get what he needs and beat up Randy Savage at the same time. Trust him.

Mr. Perfect and Ric Flair are ready for the latter to prove that he is the REAL World’s Champion.

Paul Bearer is ready for 29 caskets as the Undertaker is WWF Champion again.

Hulk Hogan is ready for it to be every man for himself in the Royal Rumble so he can get the title back. Hogan was sounding rather whiny and a bit paranoid here.

Jack Tunney gives us a brief welcome and says may the best man win.

WWF Title: Royal Rumble

For the vacant title (after Hulk Hogan cheated to take it back from Undertaker) with two minute intervals. British Bulldog is in at #1 and Ted DiBiase is in at #2 as Heenan is already calculating odds on Flair’s ring time. Bulldog hammers away but charges into an elbow in the corner. DiBiase grabs some suplexes as Heenan suggests going through the ropes and hiding to kill time.

Bulldog gets thrown over the top but hangs on and runs back in to toss DiBiase, leaving Heenan upset. Ric Flair is in at #3 (Heenan: “NO!” Monsoon: “YES!”), sending Monsoon into a statement about how no one from entrants #1-5 has ever made it to the end. Heenan apologizes for not being able to be objective as Bulldog grabs the gorilla press. Flair gets in a poke to the eye for a breather as Jerry Sags is in at #4.

Bulldog gets double teamed as Heenan wants Flair to go rest in the corner. A double clothesline gets Bulldog out of trouble and there’s a dropkick to get rid of Sags (Heenan: “OH NO!”). Haku is in at #5 and goes after Flair (Heenan: “WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING HAKU??? HAVE YOU GONE NUTS???” You know, because HAKU is most well known for his calm, rational demeanor), who actually takes him down and drops a knee to the head. Bulldog gets rid of Flair and Shawn Michaels is in at #6.

A superkick drops Flair fast (not yet the big time finisher) and another….lands in the general vicinity of Bulldog’s head as Heenan wants a stiff drink. We also start the weird timing as Heenan says Flair has been in over ten minutes despite the match not even going for ten minutes yet. Tito Santana is in at #7 and has Flair upside down in the corner (Heenan: “PERFECT! GET OUT HERE!”).

Flair slips out and gives Santana a belly to back suplex, followed by a low blow to Bulldog (Heenan: “I’d do that to my grandmother if I had to!”). The Barbarian is in at #8 (Heenan: “When I managed him, he barely liked me!”) and everyone brawls around without much going on. The Texas Tornado is in at #9 and goes right after Flair as Heenan is sounding increasingly desperate. Things slow down even more (fair enough) as the Repo Man is in at #10, giving us Bulldog, Flair, Michaels, Santana Barbarian, Tornado and Repo Man.

Barbarian and Flair double team Tornado and it’s Greg Valentine (in his bizarre face run) at #11. Naturally he goes right for Flair as Heenan talks about how the Perfect Plan called for Flair to go no more than 30 minutes. Flair kicks Repo Man low and it’s Nikolai Volkoff (Heenan: “300 pound Lithuanian!”) in at #11. Valentine grabs the Figure Four on Flair (Heenan….well you can just imagine) as Volkoff is tossed out to clear some of the ring. The Big Boss Man is in at #12 to pick up the energy a bit.

There goes Valentine, with Repo Man and Bulldog following him. Tornado is out as well as Heenan is begging Flair to get away from Boss Man. Santana and Michaels are both out and it’s Hercules at #13. Flair chops at Barbarian (Heenan: “NO RIC!”) and gets gorilla pressed for his efforts. Hercules dumps Barbarian (saving Flair in the process) but gets tossed as well. Boss Man clotheslines Flair but misses a charge and gets low bridged out, leaving Flair alone in the ring.

It’s Roddy Piper in at #14 and Heenan is beside himself as Flair is in even bigger trouble. Piper beats him up and takes it to the floor to keep up the beating. Back in and it’s an airplane spin into the sleeper to knock Flair mostly out. Jake Roberts is in at #15 to sit in the corner as the sleeper continues. Roberts goes after Piper (Heenan: “Thank you Jake!”) before hitting the short arm clothesline (Heenan: “You no good….”). Piper makes the save (Heenan: “It’s not a skirt! It’s a kilt!”) and Flair puts the Figure Four on Roberts. That’s broken up by Piper (Heenan: “You no good skirt wearing…..”) and it’s Jim Duggan in at #16.

Even Monsoon is praising Flair’s conditioning at this point as Heenan thinks Hulk Hogan is behind the order of entrants. Duggan punches Flair into the corner as Roberts does the same to Piper. It’s IRS in at #17 and it’s a double noggin knocker from Duggan to Roberts/Flair, giving us a Flair Flop. Jimmy Snuka is in at #18 and he still looks weird in those long tights. Heenan: “He’s wasting time!” Monsoon: “He is not!” Heenan: “I don’t know what I’m saying anymore.”

Piper chops on Flair in the corner but hands him off to Roberts, who can’t get rid of him. The Undertaker is in at #20 and Heenan is….oddly kind of calm about it. That gives us Flair, Piper, Roberts, Duggan, IRS, Snuka and Undertaker, with Snuka being tossed almost immediately. Undertaker grabs Flair by the throat, with Heenan declaring that everything is over. Duggan saves Flair and gets kicked low by Undertaker (that’s a weird visual) as Randy Savage is in at #21, meaning Roberts bails straight to the floor (not out).

Undertaker jumps Savage from behind so Piper comes back in, only to get kneed over the top by Savage. Hold on though as Savage dives over the top to go after Roberts again….but Undertaker throws Savage back inside, apparently because he wasn’t THROWN over the top. Ignore that this goes against previously established rules, but since when has that mattered? Flair stomps on Savage in the corner and hits Undertaker low, the latter of which doesn’t seem to matter.

Berzerker is in at #22 and hammers on various people as Heenan panics at Flair going after Savage. Undertaker and Piper choke Flair until Virgil is in at #23. Flair survives an Undertaker elimination attempt and it’s Colonel Mustafa in at #24. Monsoon refers to Flair as “Martel” twice, even as Duggan punches Flair in the face. Piper beats on Flair in the corner and it’s Rick Martel in at #25.

Heenan thinks some of the bigger names have gotten some great luck in the drawing, again forgetting an announcement on Superstars that some of the bigger names were guaranteed later numbers. Mustafa is out and everyone brawls….until Hulk Hogan is in at #26 (Heenan: “OH MY GOD NO!”). The brawl is on again as Heenan starts bargaining with God to let Heenan win. Hogan gets rid of Undertaker and Berzerker back to back with Virgil and Duggan going out at the same time.

Skinner is in at #27 as Heenan thinks Flair should be the Real World’s Champion no matter what. Sgt. Slaughter is in at #28 as Skinner is out. Hogan and Piper go at it, with Monsoon sounding almost surprised because they’re friends, despite having one of the most famous rivalries in wrestling history. Flair officially sets the all time record as Sid Justice is in at #29 to quite the reaction.

More brawling ensues as Warlord is in at #30, giving us a final grouping of Flair, Piper, IRS, Savage, Martel, Hogan, Slaughter, Sid and Warlord. Hogan slams Flair at the top and they both roll outside (not eliminated) to fight some more outside. Sid dumps Slaughter as Monsoon can’t believe that Flair is still here. Granted he also thinks Flair has been here for an hour when we’re still coming up on an hour into the match.

Piper pulls IRS out by the tie and Sid dumps Warlord to get us down to six. Sid gets rid of Martel and Piper, leaving us with Savage, Sid, Hogan and Flair, which makes me want to play Super Wrestlemania. There goes Savage as well, leaving Hogan to punch Flair over the top. Hogan goes to dump him but Sid tosses Hogan instead. Ever the nice guy, Hogan grabs Sid’s arm because “you stole my belt”, allowing Flair to dump Sid (with Hogan’s help) for the win and the title at 1:02:02. Heenan: “YESx50!”

Rating: A. Yes it’s still great and it still works as well as probably any Rumble would for almost ten more years. Flair has a great performance in setting the record and never once seeming like he was laying around for any extended period of time. You also have a star studded lineup with all kinds of people feeling like dark horse candidates, meaning there was little down time. Then of course there’s Heenan, who has the call of a lifetime as you can picture him losing his mind at everything falling apart. Monsoon laughing at Heenan when Flair comes out early but then respecting Flair by the end is great too, making this a masterpiece.

Post match Hogan and Sid bicker a lot, setting up Wrestlemania. I remember watching this at around four years old and wondering why Hogan was upset when he was eliminated without breaking any rules. There was no reason for him to be angry over this and he was just whining.

In the back, Jack Tunney presents Ric Flair with the title, allowing Flair to give the incredible “with a tear in my eye” speech, talking about how this is the title that matters the most in the world. Flair, Perfect and Heenan all WOO in celebration. Perfect: “We’re not the kind of guys to say we told you so but….we told you so!” After Flair cracks up at that one (and Gene gets in the infamous “PUT THAT CIGARETTE OUT!”), Gene signs off and sends us to the highlight package to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. This is a weird show as the main event is the ONLY thing that matters (though the Piper title win was a very nice moment) and everything else is pretty minor. The problem is one of those two matches is horrible and another is pretty bad, bringing the overall rating down a bit. That being said, this is the definition of a one match show and there is little reason to watch anything but the Intercontinental Title match and the main event. One is a feel good moment and the other is an all time classic, so we’ll call this quite the success.

WWF, 2022, 1992, Redo, Royal Rumble, New Foundation, Orient Express, Mountie, Roddy Piper, Jimmy Hart, Hulk Hogan, Bushwhackers, Beverly Brothers, Jamison, The Genius, Natural Disasters, Legion Of Doom, Ric Flair, Hulk Hogan, Sid Justice, Randy Savage, Undertaker

Ratings Comparison

New Foundation vs. Orient Express

Original: C+
2013 Redo: B-
2018 Redo: C
2023 Redo: C+

The Mountie vs. Roddy Piper

Original: B
2013 Redo: D
2018 Redo: D
2023 Redo: D+

Beverly Brothers vs. Bushwhackers

Original: F+
2013 Redo: T (The Worst Match In Royal Rumble History)
2018 Redo: F
2023 Redo: D-

Legion of Doom vs. Natural Disasters

Original: D
2013 Redo: D
2018 Redo: D
2023 Redo: D+

Royal Rumble

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A
2018 Redo: A-
2023 Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: B
2013 Redo: B
2018 Redo: B
2023 Redo: A-

I’m pretty much done with this show after this one, though it’s still rather great.




No Mercy 2008 (2025 Edition): Those Guys Are Really Good

No Mercy 2008
Date: October 5, 2008
Location: Rose Garden, Portland, Oregon
Attendance: 9,527
Commentators: Todd Grisham, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Jim Ross

This is a rather top heavy show with a double main event of Shawn Michaels challenging Chris Jericho for the Raw World Title in a ladder match and HHH defending the Smackdown World Title against Jeff Hardy. While there is quite the gap between those matches as Jericho vs. Michaels is the undisputed real main event, there is also quite the gap down to the next big match, which is….I guess Big Show vs. Undertaker? Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at a family in a stereotypical 1950s house where they’re said to have no problems and no worries, but also no mercy. That’s quite the stretch for an opening video theme but it switches into the usual opening montage. Then it cuts back to the family watching the show. Yeah that’s not their best work.

Special treat: Matt Striker isn’t here and Jerry Lawler is taking his place. Things are looking up! Well sounding up!

Mark Henry, Matt Hardy, Tony Atlas

IMG Credit: WWE

ECW Title: Matt Hardy vs. Mark Henry

Henry, with Tony Atlas, is challenging after losing the title in a Championship Scramble last month and wanting his one on one rematch. Hardy gets powered into the corner to start and realizes he needs another idea. A headlock doesn’t work and Henry drops him with a shoulder. Henry backs Hardy into the corner for a knee to the ribs, followed by a rather hard clothesline.

Hardy goes after the knee and grabs a Robinsdale Crunch, followed by a cannonball down onto said leg. They go outside where Henry gets simple with Henry just shoving him down in a heap. A big boot drops Hardy for two and Henry drops down onto him for the same. The neck crank goes on for a bit, followed by a bearhug as Henry keeps going with the basic stuff (as he should).

Hardy fights out and tries a sunset flip for some reason, only to avoid a sitdown splash, banging up the knee again. The middle rope elbow to the back of the head into the Side Effect gets two but Henry runs him over again. The splash connects but Henry’s knee is in bad shape. Henry’s World’s Strongest Slam is broken up with a few shots to the leg and the Twist Of Fate retains the title at 8:02.

Rating: B-. It was a nice story with Hardy fighting through the monster and winning in the end after cutting Henry down. If Hardy was going to become the top star in ECW, he had to beat Henry one on one at some point and they made it work here. It was a good David vs. Goliath story, which still works if it’s done right and that was the case.

HHH and Jeff Hardy meet in the back but HHH is more interested in the mobile poll about who will win their match. Hardy wants some respect so HHH says he wants Hardy at his best. That way when HHH beats him tonight, he beats the best Hardy possible. Hardy promises to take the title.

Raw Women’s Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Candice Michelle

Phoenix is defending and has Santino Marella with him. Michelle kicks the leg out to start and hits a quick Fameasser, followed by a rollup for two. An enziguri staggers Phoenix again but she powers Michelle into the corner. Phoenix starts in on the arm and sends it into the buckle, setting up an arm crank. Michelle manages to slip out and slugs away, including a spinwheel kick (which didn’t seem to connect) for two.

Phoenix is right back with a DDT on the arm before going up (you don’t see that every day), where Michelle crotches her down just as fast. Marella has to make the save, allowing Phoenix to drop Michelle with a clothesline on the floor. Back in and Michelle is in trouble but Marella accidentally trips Phoenix for two. The Candy Wrapper is loaded up but Phoenix reverses into the Glam Slam to retain at 4:41.

Rating: C+. They didn’t have time, but there was something to Michelle giving Phoenix everything she could until the ending. At the end of the day though, Phoenix is likely going to smash through someone like Michelle, who was still figuring out a lot of stuff in the ring. Phoenix winning makes a lot more sense and it came after a better match than I was expecting.

Kane is ready to take Rey Mysterio’s mask and the facade that it represents. Then Mysterio and all of the people will see themselves as the monsters they really are.

Kane vs. Rey Mysterio

Kane has been going after Mysterio because he doesn’t like him wearing a mask. Thanks to a favor from Mike Adamle, Mysterio has to unmask if he loses. Mysterio goes with the kicks to start and knocks Kane outside, only to get booted in the face without much trouble. A dropkick looks to set up the 619 so Kane drops him with a hard clothesline. Mysterio is able to slip off Kane’s shoulder for a headscissors out to the floor. That’s fine with Kane, who sends him crashing into the barricade.

The chinlock goes on back inside, followed by a backbreaker with Mysterio being bent over Kane’s knee. With that broken up, Mysterio manages a spinning reverse DDT, plus a top rope standing moonsault press for two. Dropping The Time gives Mysterio two but he walks into a side slam. Another spinning DDT gives Mysterio a desperation two and he avoids a big boot in the corner. The 619 to the back puts Kane on the floor and Mysterio goes up, only to dive into a chair shot for the DQ (that looked GREAT) at 10:10.

Rating: B. The ending fits as Kane more about the violence and pain than anything else so having him do something that got him disqualified makes perfect sense. It helps that Mysterio got knocked absolutely silly by that chair shot and Kane looked happy with hurting him more than anything else. Good stuff here as Mysterio was trying to survive, though I could go with something other than a smaller hero fighting a powerhouse after seeing it three straight times.

MVP is annoyed at not having a match tonight and goes to knock on the Smackdown GM’s door. Instead of Vickie Guerrero, he finds Big Show, who isn’t interested in MVP’s problems. MVP keeps complaining but Show threatens to switch his focus from Undertaker to him. Guerrero calls Show into the office and MVP leaves.

Here is MVP in the arena for a chat. MVP doesn’t get why he’s being left on the sidelines for such a big event. Maybe being dropped on her head has messed with Vickie Guerrero’s mind…and here is Randy Orton to interrupt. Orton introduces himself and says he is what MVP believes himself to be. This seems to happen to MVP every month but MVP says he didn’t recognize Orton without his shoulder in a sling.

MVP says he never gets the ball, though Orton says if MVP ever got the ball, he would just drop it. Violence is teased but here are Ted DiBiase, Cody Rhodes and Manu to interrupt. Rhodes tries to talk to Orton, only to be cut off by a BORING chant. Rhodes sees Orton as the guy who was a big deal in high school but didn’t get into college and just stays around town, trying to be cool.

Orton brings up attacking CM Punk, which Manu says only happened after they did the hard work. Orton says that he’ll listen to them as soon as they’ve done half of what he does. MVP mocks Orton for walking out and praises the trio’s style. If he ever winds up on Raw, maybe they could do something. DiBiase doesn’t buy this because MVP’s dad wasn’t a star. MVP says he makes more money than all of them. DiBiase: “Hey genius. My father is the Million Dollar Man.”

Violence is teased again and MVP just leaves…but here are CM Punk and Kofi Kingston to interrupt. They talk to MVP, who seems interested in teaming up with them to go after the trio. The three of them charge the ring…but Punk and Kingston stay outside and let MVP get triple teamed. Then Punk and Kingston get in and make the save, leaving commentary a bit confused.

This has been your regularly scheduled fifteen minute detour from the regularly scheduled card.

Batista, JBL

IMG Credit: WWE

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Batista

For a future Raw World Title shot and JBL is all depressed because he’s lost a lot of money in the stock market this week. Batista clotheslines him down and hits a running boot for an early two. JBL fights back and is speared outside in a heap as his slow start continues. They fight outside with JBL getting in a few right hands, followed by an elbow back inside. We hit the chinlock for a bit but Batista suplexes his way to freedom. Some clotheslines stagger JBL again and it’s off to the shoulders in the corner. The spinebuster and Batista Bomb finish JBL at 5:18.

Rating: B-. You know, I’ll take this over what could have been. I’ve seen enough of JBL and Batista having long, drawn out matches before and it’s not a pleasant experience. It’s nice to see them do a near squash match as no one bought JBL having a chance in the match anyway. Just do the simpler version for a change.

Post match Batista leaves and JBL talks about how bad his week has been. The reality is his heart wasn’t in this one tonight because Wall Street has given him the worst week of his life. After everything else though, he is the happiest man alive because Congress has bailed out people like him.

People like Barney Frank and Nancy Pelosi (members of Congress) understand that people like him make the world go around. Sure it may cost families $10,000 per household, but now he gets to keep his penthouse apartment at Central Park. Now he’s going to get in his limo and go back to New York. God bless you, God bless America, and God bless him! Cue Cryme Tyme on the Titantron, saying they’re going to bail out the limo, complete with the Divas and….Sgt. Slaughter, who apparently is just kept in storage in Portland until he’s needed! This was hilarious, with JBL’s promo being absolutely great.

We recap Undertaker vs. Big Show. Undertaker has been going after Vickie Guerrero, who apparently has Show in her back pocket. Show attacked Undertaker, who wants revenge, setting up the match. The build for this has involved showing the video of Show knocking Undertaker out approximately 4123 times.

Undertaker vs. Big Show

Undertaker slugs away to start and gets knocked outside but comes back with a headbutt. The Stunner over the top rope staggers Show, who is right back up to take Undertaker outside. The big right hands have Undertaker in trouble and Show whips him hard into the barricade. Show gets posted though and it’s the apron legdrop as JR thinks Show is in a hopeless state. Oregon is hopeless?

Undertaker’s big boot doesn’t do much to Show, who runs Undertaker over with a rather hard clothesline. Show slowly hammers away but misses a Vader Bomb, allowing Undertaker to come back with the right hands. The jumping clothesline drops Show and a legdrop gets two.

Old School is countered into a good looking chokeslam for two but another chokeslam is countered into a DDT for a delayed near fall. The turnbuckle pad is ripped off and Show sends him into the exposed buckle, followed by the KO Punch. Another KO sets up a third to the back of the head and the referee stops it at 10:05.

Rating: B. This was a shockingly good brawl as they beat the living daylights out of each other until even Undertaker couldn’t survive Show. That’s a heck of a lot better than I was expecting after the really dull build. Odds are it sets up a big gimmick match next month and if it’s like this, I have heard far worse ideas. Very nice surprise here.

Jeff Hardy wins the text poll 72%-28%. That’s a heck of a landslide.

We recap HHH defending the Smackdown World Title against Jeff Hardy. The idea is very simple: Hardy feels like the unstoppable force on the way to the title but HHH is a heck of a champion. Hardy keeps getting closer and closer and it feels like when rather than if he wins the title.

Triple H, Jeff Hardy

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown World Title: HHH vs. Jeff Hardy

HHH is defending and we get a handshake before the bell, but HHH jumps him from behind. Hardy grabs a headlock but gets reversed into a headscissors, meaning it’s time to go back to the headlock. The grinding doesn’t keep HHH down long as he’s back up with an elbow to the face. Hardy sends him outside for an apron clothesline, followed by a slingshot legdrop and another headlock takeover.

HHH is back up and tries the Pedigree but gets backdropped out to the floor for the big crash. The big flip dive misses though and Hardy’s back is banged up. Back in and a backbreaker sets up some elbows to said back, followed by the abdominal stretch. The referee catches HHH holding the rope though and it’s off to the sleeper. That’s broken up as well and Hardy hits a running sleeper drop.

A basement dropkick gives Hardy two and he sends HHH outside for the big flip dive. Back in and the Twist Of Fate is countered into a heck of a clothesline to give HHH two of his own. For some reason HHH goes up, only to dive into a sitout gordbuster for two more as the fans are getting even more into this.

The spinning middle rope crossbody is slammed out of the air to give HHH two more but he gets catapulted into the corner. Hardy’s Whisper In The Wind gets two more as they’re going back and forth with the counts getting closer and closer. The Swanton misses but Hardy is right back with the Twist Of Fate. The Swanton connects…but Hardy lays back on him and gets rolled up for the pin to retain the title at 17:02.

Rating: B+. This was turning into a slugfest at the end as they were going move for move with each other until Hardy hit his big move. It’s Hardy somehow getting one step closer to the title but not being able to get there, even with the fans being along with him every step of the way. I was only kind of interested in this match coming in and they had me totally hooked by about the halfway point. Awesome match here, as these two had some very good chemistry.

Post match Hardy is devastated but they shake hands. HHH heads to the back, where he is congratulated by Arn Anderson and Vladimir Kozlov. One of these is interesting while the other is Russian.

We recap Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels for the Raw World Title. They had been having the feud of the year and then Jericho won the title, the same night Michaels had beat him. You put one and one together and throw in a ladder and you have a nearly guaranteed awesome match.

Shawn Michaels, Chris Jericho

IMG Credit: WWE

Raw World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho is defending in a ladder match. Michaels grabs a headlock to start fast before threatening a superkick. Jericho is back to cut Michaels off from getting the ladder and sends him into the post. The ladder is pulled towards the ring but Michaels hits a drop toehold into the ladder onto the floor. That earns Michaels a Walls Of Jericho on the floor and the ladder is brought inside, where it is teeter tottered into Jericho’s face.

Back in and Jericho tries the Walls again but winds up catapulting Michaels onto the ladder. Said ladder is turned over though and Michaels goes crashing into the rope. Jericho’s face is busted open as he hits Michaels in the ribs with a ladder. Another ladder is brought in but Michaels gets in a shot of his own. Jericho gets dropped knee first onto the ladder and the Figure Four goes on.

With that broken up, Jericho kicks a ladder around to send it into Michaels’ face for a nasty crash. Another catapult sends Michaels face first into the ladder and Jericho puts him in said ladder for something of a Ladderairto. The ladder is sat on the top rope but Jericho gets sent into it, sending him crashing out to the floor. Michaels throws the ladder down onto him, as he would rather hurt Jericho rather than win the title. It’s time for the big ladder (uh oh) on the floor and Michaels loads up the announcers’ table (uh oh again).

Michaels takes too long going up and Jericho catches him with a belly to back superplex…but Michaels turns on it for the crossbody through the table and the massive crash. They slowly get back up and Michaels heads up top with a ladder, which is dropkicked into him for the crotching. Michaels is able to knock it down onto him though and the top rope elbow onto the ladder onto Jericho leaves them both laying. Sweet Chin Music is blocked with a ladder shot to the face (OUCH) and Michaels is down, setting up the Lionsault onto the ladder onto Michaels.

Jericho pins Michaels underneath the ladder and goes up but Michaels shoves the ladder over, sending Jericho WAY down onto the floor for a crazy crash. The slow climb is on, only to Jericho to knock the ladder (and Michaels) over again for a massive crash into the ropes. They both go up but Jericho gets knocked down, with his leg hanging in the ladder.

Cue Lance Cade to cut Michaels off so Michaels snaps off the superkick. Jericho is back up so Michaels goes to meet him on top and they grab the belt. The title comes unhooked as it’s a tug of war in the air but the bigger part is on Jericho’s side. Jericho is holding on with just the belt holding him up but manages to hit Michaels in the head and retain at 22:21.

Rating: A. This match had all of the stakes and build coming in and then they completely exceeded expectations. This was an absolute war as they beat the living daylights out of each other. It was a perfect mixture of being about the title and revenge, which made things that much better. Michaels is as good as it gets with making you believe that he might pull something off and he more than did it again here. I got pulled all the way into this again, which says a lot as I’ve seen it a few times now. Definitely check this out if you get the chance.

Overall Rating: A-. The worst match on the show is a five minute match between Beth Phoenix and Candice Michelle, which wound up being completely fine. The last two matches (and you could add in Big Show vs. Undertaker) are absolutely great, with the main event being an instant classic. It’s one of the better WWE shows in a very long time and is more than worth a look if you’re looking for something from this era. Great show.

 

 

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Saturday Night’s Main Event #30 (2025 Edition): I Want To Punch Hulk Hogan In The Face (Includes Full Show)

Saturday Night’s Main Event #30
Date: February 8, 1992
Location: Lubbock Municipal Coliseum, Lubbock, Texas
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

This isn’t exactly a great time for the show but it’s certainly a star studded show. We’re coming up on Wrestlemania VIII and the big story is that Hulk Hogan is scheduled to get the WWF Title shot against Ric Flair. Sid Justice isn’t happy about Hogan getting the chance and they happen to be teaming up against Flair and Undertaker. Let’s get to it.

We get a rather generic opening sequence showing some of the bigger names on the show. This is very early 90s.

Intercontinental Title: Roddy Piper vs. The Mountie

Piper is defending, which isn’t something you often get to say and Jimmy Hart is here with Mountie. Hart steals the belt before the match so Piper (wrestling in a shirt) sends both of them outside for a double noggin knocker. Back in and Mountie ties him in the Tree of Woe to kick away as we get some comments from Bret Hart, who gets the winner at Wrestlemania (he doesn’t care who he faces).

The referee gets bumped and Mountie hits a piledriver, but Hart hands him some water. Mountie pours the water on Piper and then uses the shock stick…but Piper pops up. A right hand drops Mountie and Piper steals the shock stick to knock him out instead. As luck would have it, the referee is up and Piper retains at 3:31.

Rating: C. The match was nothing special but the point was in the surprise of Piper jumping up after the shock stick. Piper had already gotten his big moment of winning the title at the Royal Rumble so this was just a bit of a bonus. Mountie wasn’t going to a long term star around the title picture so having him lose to Piper twice in a row is fine.

Post match Piper takes off his shirt to reveal a vest labeled SHOCK PROOF. Yep, that’s rather fitting of someone as smart as Piper.

We look at the end of the Royal Rumble, with Sid Justice dumping Hulk Hogan but getting tossed by Ric Flair for the win. Note the VERY dubbed audio that has the fans chanting for Hogan, which was absolutely not the case in real time. Sid and Hogan got into it after the match and had to be held apart. Then Hogan got the title shot anyway because…well because Jack Tunney was kind of a goof. Sid was rightfully livid and thinks he’s getting cheated because he’s the newcomer.

But then earlier today, Sid apologized for going too far, especially against Hogan. Uh, right.

Hogan and Sid seem to be ok, but Sid doesn’t get to talk because Hogan wants to talk about going to Wrestlemania. Sid just leaves as Hogan talks and yeah, Hogan has earned whatever he has coming to him.

Ric Flair/Undertaker vs. Sid Justice/Hulk Hogan

Mr. Perfect and Paul Bearer are here with the villains and Hogan brings out Brutus Beefcake as a surprise. Flair and Sid start things off with Sid hitting a big backdrop into a hiptoss. That’s enough to send Flair outside where he seems to be limping a bit, which is made worse as Hogan backdrops and hiptosses him as well.

Undertaker gets hiptossed and it’s back to Sid, who slams him down. Hogan comes back in with a pair of slams as he keeps doing the same things Sid does, but more. Undertaker manages to get in a shot to Sid though and a double clothesline gets two. A double atomic drop puts Sid down again as the villains take over. Hogan makes another save as everything breaks down, with Hogan telling Sid what to do. A double big boot and a double clothesline clear the ring as we take a break.

We come back with Undertaker sneaking up on Sid to take over. Sid gets taken into the corner and Undertaker even gets in a top rope right hand. A double noggin knocker gets Sid out of trouble and Hogan comes in to clean house. Perfect grabs the leg though and Flair gets to start in on the knee.

The Figure Four goes on and Sid isn’t even looking at the ring. Hogan turns it over and escapes as Sid is looking bored on the apron. Undertaker comes back in for the jumping clothesline as Beefcake begs Sid to get in the ring and help. Flair comes in and chops away, which of course triggers the Hulk Up. Hogan knocks them both down and goes for the tag but Sid walks out. The double teaming continues until it’s a DQ at 11:35.

Rating: C. I’ve been a Hogan fan since before I can remember and he’s the reason I got into wrestling in the first place. Watching this match back made me want to see Sid punch him in the mouth. Hogan was an absolute jerk to Sid, both here and at the Rumble (plus in the pre-match promo) and deserved everything that happened to him. And he never even learns as this is eerily similar to what happened with Paul Orndorff six years earlier!

Post match Hogan beats both of them up as Beefcake gets in the ring to watch. Well of course Hogan can just do that.

In the back, Sid isn’t sorry for what happened because Hogan couldn’t beat Flair or himself on his best day.

Post break, Hogan says Sid turned his back on everyone, but thank goodness for Brutus Beefcake (who did….nothing), who was always there for him. Beefcake thanks Hogan for being there in the hospital with him and Hogan dedicates his title match at Wrestlemania (which didn’t happen) to Beefcake, who only had a quick cameo at the show. Of note: this was clearly taped before the match, as Hogan isn’t even sweating just a few minutes after a match.

Sgt. Slaughter/Jim Duggan vs. Beverly Brothers

Duggan backs Blake into the corner to start but gets whipped into…Slaughter, who blocks Duggan from hitting the buckle. The Genius gets in a cheap scroll shot to Duggan and Blake jumps over Beau onto Duggan’s back. Duggan fights out and hands it off to Slaughter, who grabs an abdominal stretch of all things. Everything breaks down and Duggan hits a clothesline for the pin (with the camera looking at Duggan rather than Slaughter’s cover) at 2:39. Nothing to this one.

Randy Savage talks about Jake Roberts making him inside. Oh Randy that ship sailed a long time ago.

Jake Roberts vs. Randy Savage

Savage jumps him from behind to start and sends Roberts into the post, possibly breaking Roberts’ nose. They get inside with Savage hammering away but a poke to the eye cuts him off. Savage is sent outside but comes back in, where Roberts sends him into the buckle. And then outside again. Roberts sends him into the barricade and we take a break. We come back with Savage crawling back inside, where Roberts punches him out of the air and hits the DDT. The short arm clothesline lets Roberts applaud a bit but the DDT is countered with a backdrop to the floor. Back in and the big elbow finishes Roberts at 5:25.

Rating: B-. These two always seemed like they were ready to kill each other but they never had that one huge match. The one at Tuesday In Texas was white hot but it only works so well with such a short amount of time. At least Savage got the pin and survived the DDT, which really should be the end of the feud.

Post match Savage grabs his trusty ring bell but referees and agents cut him off. Elizabeth comes out to celebrate with Savage…as Roberts is waiting on them behind the curtain after the show. While it wasn’t shown here (but later aired on Superstars), Roberts grabbed a chair and was going to smash one of them as they came through the curtain.

That would be Elizabeth, but Undertaker of all people grabbed the chair from him, allowing Elizabeth to escape and Savage to chair Roberts down. Commentary sold the heck out of this, with both of them swearing, as Vince even called Sid a son of a b****. And that’s how Undertaker turned face in an awesome segment that showed there was a point even he wouldn’t cross.

Overall Rating: C+. You could tell that the steam was WAY out of Saturday Night’s Main Event at this point but this one did at least set up a few things at Wrestlemania. The wrestling wasn’t much to see though and the Hogan praise was insufferable. The good thing is it only ran an hour, as this was all about the angles and that wasn’t going to last much longer. We got enough Hogan stuff just in this show, and thank goodness he was leaving soon after this because it was almost impossible to take. Not a great show, but it did serve a purpose.

 

 

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Backlash 2008 (2025 Edition): Sequels Can Be Good!

Backlash 2008
Date: April 27, 2008
Location: 1st Mariner Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 11,277
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Mick Foley, Tazz, Mike Adamle

It’s the show after Wrestlemania XXIV and that means it’s time to see where things have gone since the biggest show of the year. That should make for a good night, with Randy Orton defending the Raw World Title in a four way. That’s the kind of match that could go in a few directions but hopefully it lives up to what should be a safe amount of hype. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at Wrestlemania and everything that has happened since then. Beware the Backlash. That might not be the best tagline, as you probably shouldn’t be scared of the show you’re about to watch.

Commentary welcomes us to the show, including the debuting Mick Foley.

US Title: MVP vs. Matt Hardy

Hardy is challenging after a LONG story between the two, which involved a pizza eating concept. MVP dives after the leg to start fast but Hardy is right back with the threat of a right hand to send MVP outside. Back in and a hiptoss gives Hardy two, followed by an elbow drop for two (with commentary pointing out that it’s more about wearing MVP down than trying to get a win, which makes sense).

Hardy’s headlock doesn’t get him very far so he goes with a middle rope elbow to the back of the head for two instead. MVP hits him in the back though and grabs a belly to back suplex for two. Hardy is able to knock him off the top but a moonsault hits raised knees. A seated abdominal stretch has Hardy in more trouble and MVP pulls him down by the hair for a bonus.

The regular abdominal stretch (naturally holding the rope) stays on Hardy’s ribs, as do a series of elbow drops. A fireman’s carry faceplant only seems to wake Hardy up as he hits a clothesline. The Playmaker is countered into a Side Effect but MVP is able to crotch him on top. MVP goes up with him, with Hardy grabbing a super Side Effect for a delayed two. Back up and MVP catches him in the corner, followed by the running big boot to send Hardy outside. Hardy beats the count so MVP goes back to the ribs. The big boot in the corner misses though and Hardy grabs the Twist Of Fate for the pin at 11:26.

Rating: B. This was the culmination of a long story and what matters the most is that Hardy got the win, just as he should have. The whole point of the thing was that they finally had to have a match where Hardy got the belt. It worked well and was a good match on top of the story, so nice job all around.

Post ads, Matt Hardy talks about how this is the biggest win of his career because he worked so hard to get here. Now, all that matters is that he’s better than MVP.

ECW Title: Kane vs. Chavo Guerrero

Guerrero, with Bam Neely, is challenging after losing the title to Kane in eight seconds at Wrestlemania. Kane wastes no time in taking him into the corner for the big right hands. A basement dropkick connects but bangs up Kane’s recently tweaked (by Guerrero and company) knee. The knee is fine enough for a charge into the corner but Guerrero sends him face first into the buckle.

Guerrero hammers away and is quickly tossed outside in a heap. Kane sends him into the apron but the top rope clothesline is broken up, with Kane hurting his knee again. The knee is wrapped around the post, which the referee doesn’t seem to mind. Granted he doesn’t see it when Neely does it as well, though I can’t imagine he would approve. Guerrero goes up but gets caught in an electric chair for a heck of a crash to leave them both down.

Back up and one heck of a big boot drops Guerrero, followed by the side slam for two. Now the top rope clothesline (almost a top rope punch) drops Guerrero again but he manages a much needed tornado DDT for two of his own. Guerrero goes after the knee again and the frog splash connects…with Kane catching him by the throat for the chokeslam to retain at 8:49.

Rating: C+. They were working through quite the problem here, as there is only so much you can do with these two. It’s hard to imagine that Guerrero is going to be a major threat to Kane and since Neely was pretty much useless, there wasn’t much that Guerrero could do. Kane wins a straight up match despite having his knee injury and that should move him on towards someone new, as Guerrero has been vanquished.

Sidenote: dang Kane’s theme song was awesome.

Randy Orton knows the rules of the main event and says the Age Of Orton is a reality. Tonight’s reality will be the same when he walks out as the champion.

We get a tale of the tape of Big Show vs. Great Khali. Foley: “Cole what size shoe do you wear?” Cole: “Nine.” Foley: “That’s smaller than the shoe print of the shoes Coach left for me to fill!”

Great Khali vs. Big Show

The cameraman is smart enough to shoot up at them to make the staredown look even bigger. They shove each other to start and then slug it out with Show getting a slight advantage. Some headbutts rock Khali but he’s back with a clothesline to put Show down for the first time. Khali knocks him outside with another clothesline, followed by a boot to the head back inside. Something close to a crossface has Show in trouble and Cole can never remember him tapping out. Well…..other than probably to Cena, he might not have.

Show fights up but can’t get a slam as Khali falls down on top of him. That means a nerve hold (no, you don’t have to ask Khali twice for that one) for a bit, followed by Khali’s big chop for two. Show fights up and now the slam connects for two. Khali knocks him against the rope and tries a chokebomb but Show powers out and hits the chokeslam for the win at 8:06.

Rating: C-. This was never going to be some kind of a mat classic, but at the same time, it also wasn’t a terrible match. Instead it was more just slow and plodding than anything else. The match existed for the sake of having two giants go at it and do their big person stuff. That worked well enough, though it could have been a few minutes shorter.

John Cena talks country music with Jimmy Wang Yang when Randy Orton interrupts. Orton promises that Cena will lose tonight and go home disappointed, just like at Wrestlemania. Cena promises to leave Orton a broken man.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Batista. Michaels retired Ric Flair at Wrestlemania and Batista is unhappy, with Michaels giving the logical response: he gave his best, just like Flair wanted him to. Batista was upset at Michaels for getting rid of Flair because Flair has to be the big focal point. At the same time you have special referee Chris Jericho, who is stirring up some issues, even accusing Michaels of wanting to get rid of Flair.

Shawn Michaels vs. Batista

Chris Jericho is guest referee. JR: “This match has global significance.” Nice try but….come on. Batista misses a shot in the corner and gets punched in the face but the threat of a Batista Bomb sends Michaels scurrying. Back in and Michaels starts kicking at the legs but has to duck a clothesline in the corner. Another ducking doesn’t go so well and Batista gets to stomp away, only for Michaels to use a Ric Flair chop block.

A short armscissors goes on and Michaels cranks away for a good while until Batista does the standard standing counter. Instead of slamming Michaels down though, they crash over the top and out to the floor in quite the heap. Michaels sends the banged up arm into the post and a hammerlock goes on back inside. Batista gets to the rope so Michaels is right back to the bad arm.

An armbar over the ropes keeps Batista in trouble, followed by something close to a Kimura. A Samoan drop breaks Batista out this time and he whips Michaels upside down in the corner. The big running clothesline turns Michaels inside out but he’s able to reverse a Batista Bomb into the crossface. Michaels is smart enough to take him back into the middle of the ring but Batista finally makes the rope. Jericho has to physically break the hold and that is not cool with the fans.

A side slam gives Batista two and Michaels nips up, only to get speared down for two more in a nice sequence. Michaels is able to knock him out of the air and hit the big elbow and Batista is in trouble again. The superkick is countered with a spinebuster and the Batista Bomb is loaded up…but Michaels hurts his knee on the counter. Batista is backed away but goes after Michaels anyway, walking right into the superkick to give Michaels the pin at 15:00.

Rating: B. This was a well put together, logical match as Michaels broke down the machine just enough to stay alive until the ending. The idea here was that Batista wanted to destroy Michaels to get revenge but Michaels is just a better wrestler and knew how to pick him apart by being patient. Well that and then cheating in the end, which is a rather Michaels/Flair thing to do. Michaels throwing in quite a few Flair bits made it even better, though this was just the start of a VERY long story, which would get a lot better. Jericho was only so much of a factor here, but that would change rather soon.

Post match Michaels needs Jericho and another referee to help him out.

Randy Orton comes in to see HHH, who will NOT succeed tonight. HHH says pride comes before the fall.

Beth Phoenix/Melina/Jillian/Victoria/Natalya/Layla vs. Ashley Massaro/Cherry/Kelly Kelly/Maria/Michelle McCool/Mickie James

Get them all on the card match. Phoenix shoves McCool down to start and blocks a belly to belly suplex attempt. Melina comes in for a faceplant into a Last Chancery before throwing her down again. McCool manages a basement dropkick and brings the screaming Melina to the corner for the tag off to James. A hurricanrana out of the corner drops Melina, as does a running clothesline. Natalya (in her pay per view debut) comes in and gets neckbreakered down for two as we go over her family tree.

Cherry is knocked off the apron before Victoria comes in for the dancing moonsault. Natalya gets pulled off the apron by Cherry and it’s time for the big brawl at ringside. We settle down to Massaro hurricanranaing Jillian for two before Phoenix comes in for a chinlock. The double chicken wing is broken up and James comes in with a tornado DDT. Victoria drops James with the Widow’s Peak and it’s time for the parade of knockdowns. Phoenix fisherman’s busters Massaro for the pin at 6:30.

Rating: D+. As is so often the case with a match like this, what are they supposed to do? They have about six and a half minutes for twelve women to get in there and do something. You can only get so far with that kind of a situation, especially when Phoenix is the focal point of one of the teams. In other words, cut down the lineup by about half and it’s a lot better.

We recap Edge vs. the Undertaker for the Smackdown World Title. Undertaker took the title from Edge in the main event of Wrestlemania and Edge wants it back. Therefore, he went to a spa with Vickie Guerrero and is promising to get the title back for her. In other words, it’s a pretty basic rematch.

Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. Edge

Undertaker is defending and dang that Big Gold Belt looks perfect on him. We get the Big Match Intros and Undertaker mouths “I’m going to hurt you”, which has Foley going through some flashbacks. Edge gets shoved to the floor to start and it’s already time for a breather. A shoulder drops Edge again and Undertaker slugs away in the corner. Edge tries to fight back and he is promptly launched into the corner for the right hands.

Undertaker starts in on the arm, which is sent into the corner to keep Edge in trouble. They head outside with Edge’s back being sent into various hard object, including Snake Eyes onto the steps. The boot to the head has Edge in more trouble and there’s the apron legdrop. That seems to damage Undertaker’s back though and Edge grabs a bodyscissors to hold him down. Undertaker’s solution, as tends to be his custom, is to punch Edge in the face but Edge is right back on the back.

A baseball slide to said back puts him on the floor and it’s a camel clutch back inside. Undertaker powers up but falls right back down, thankfully sending them to the ropes. Edge tries it again so Undertaker just drops down onto him, which is as effective as you would expect. They trade shots to the face until Undertaker punches him down, followed by Snake Eyes. The big boot and elbow get two but Old School is broken up. Edge goes up but is smart enough to avoid a super Last Ride.

Undertaker slams him down anyway, only to go up (oh dear) and miss a not great looking top rope elbow. Edge goes up again and gets chokeslammed back down for quite the crash. Back up and Edge manages to get a turnbuckle pad off and ram the bad back into the buckle…so here is Curt Hawkins with a belt shot to make it worse. The spear is countered into a DDT so here is Zack Ryder, who is knocked off the apron just as fast. The yet to be named Hell’s Gate retains the title at 18:25.

Rating: B. All of the cheating at the end brought it down a bit as there was only so much to be gained from Edge’s usual bag of tricks. At the same time, it didn’t have quite the same amount of drama as their Wrestlemania classic. As it is, it’s just good, which is still a solid result, even if it’s kind of a letdown. In other words, the first match was excellent and this one not so much.

Post match Undertaker won’t let go until Vickie Guerrero is wheeled out. Undertaker finally lets go and Edge has to be taken out on a stretcher. This would result in Vickie stripping Undertaker of the title the next week on Smackdown.

Randy Orton goes to JBL’s dressing room but runs into Mr. Money In The Bank, CM Punk, who wishes him good luck tonight.

We recap the Raw World Title, which is about Randy Orton trying to convince us that we’re in the Age Of Orton, which isn’t exactly clicking. Tonight, he’s facing three challengers in an attempt to make him feel more like a big deal.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. John Bradshaw Layfield vs. HHH vs. John Cena

Orton is defending under elimination rules and charges at JBL to start. JBL tries to hammer away but Cena is right back to knock him down. HHH sends Cena outside and Orton is whipped into him for a crash into the announcers’ table. Back in and the villains beat up HHH but he double clotheslines his way out of trouble. HHH sends JBL outside and into the steps but the Pedigree is broken up.

Cena is back in to take over on Orton and the fans are NOT pleased. The top rope Fameasser connects and the STFU goes on, with JBL…realizing that making a save would be kind of dumb so HHH grabs a crossface on JBL instead. Orton goes to the eye to break out and then yells at JBL, only for Cena to knock Orton into him for the break.

Orton actually goes up top and since it’s not 2004, he gets crotched right back down, setting up a Tower Of Doom for two each on Orton and JBL. The release fisherman’s suplex gives Cena two on HHH, who spinebusters him right back. HHH avoids an FU so Cena gives it to JBL instead. The STFU gets rid of JBL at 10:30.

Orton immediately Punts Cena though and we’re down to two at 10:42. So it’s HHH vs. Orton and they stare each other down until HHH grabs a suplex. The knee drop gets two and Orton is tossed outside for the required brawling. HHH is sent into the steps and a catapult sends him over the barricade in a big crash.

Back in and Orton slowly starts stomping away (shocking I know), including the knee drop to the back for two. The chinlock goes on for a good while until HHH fights up, only to get powerslammed back down. The RKO is shoved away though and they’re both down for a bit. They get back up and HHH’s jumping knee drops Orton again, followed by the facebuster for two.

HHH takes him outside and over the announcers’ table for the big crash. That’s not enough so Orton gets dropped onto the steps and they head back inside. The Pedigree is countered and an RKO connects but Orton can’t immediately cover. The VERY delayed cover gets two but a Punt and RKO are both blocked, setting up a Pedigree to give HHH the title back at 28:12.

Rating: B. They kind of followed the Wrestlemania 2000 main event formula here and that’s quite the odd choice as that match wasn’t exactly much to see. Cena and JBL were both knocked out in a hurry and then it was nearly twenty minutes of HHH vs. Orton. I’m fine with HHH getting the title back, but it would be better to have the match actually feel like a four way rather than a singles match with some window dressing. The action was good, but just cut out Cena and JBL if this is what you were going for here.

Overall Rating: B+. This was a solid show with the big matches delivering and only a few of them not being worthwhile. It’s a solid follow up to Wrestlemania as they’re continuing a bunch of the stories while also taking some things into another direction. I liked this more than I was expecting to and it held up on another viewing here so well done.

 

 

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Survivor Series Count-Up – 2024 (2025 Edition): That Man Took A Beating

Survivor Series 2024
Date: November 30, 2024
Location: Rogers Arena, Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Commentators: Corey Graves, Michael Cole

It’s time to put some people in a cage big enough to wrap around a pair of rings. That’s pretty much all you need to know here, as you have Roman Reigns and the Bloodline facing Solo Sikoa and his version of the same thing. Normally I would say what else is going on here, but it’s not like anything else really matters. Let’s get to it.

Since we’re going to have two of them, here are the WarGames rules:

Two wrestlers start and fight for five minutes.

After five minutes, the team with the advantage (as determined before the match) gets a three minute advantage.

The teams alternate until all ten are in and then it’s first pin/submission to win.

The opening video looks at WarGames, mainly focusing on the men’s version. Nothing outside of WarGames is even mentioned.

The cage is lowered.

Team Ripley vs. Team Morgan

Rhea Ripley, Bianca Belair, Naomi, Iyo Sky, Bayley
Liv Morgan, Raquel Rodriguez, Nia Jax, Tiffany Stratton, Candice LeRae

Bayley and Jax start things off with Bayley firing off the forearms. Jax charges into a boot in the corner and Bayley knocks her into the space between the rings. Some more forearms have Jax in trouble and Bayley gets smart by taking off part of her gear for some whipping. Unfortunately Jax takes it away and whips her right back to take over. The running hip attack rocks Bayley and Jax runs her over for a bonus.

Another hip attack crushes Bayley against the cage and it’s Naomi in….wearing a birthday hat and grabbing a colorful kendo stick…and a toilet seat. Oh here we go. Anyway Naomi strikes and kicks away at Jax and Bayley is back up as the fans chant HAPPY BIRTHDAY, which kind of takes away the violent thing. Jax is sent into the corner, where the toilet seat is put around her neck for the hips to the face from Naomi. Because of course.

Stratton is supposed to be in to even it up but LeRae comes in instead. She throws in a bunch of chairs before getting in herself, though thankfully everyone was standing around waiting on her anyway. That’s broken up rather quickly and the chairs are set up with another one bridged between them. Jax is back up and lays Bayley onto them for a very save moonsault from LeRae.

Belair is here to get the advantage back and she grabs a trashcan…and then gets a fire extinguisher. She’s STILL not in as she also finds a table, because we need about eight weapons in the double cage. That’s not enough either as she grabs another chair (because the five or so inside weren’t enough), which believe it or not somehow doesn’t let the villains take over. Instead Belair FINALLY gets in and helps beat Jax down, with the stomping slowly ensuing. Since it took Belair so long to get in, it’s already time for Stratton, who gets a trashcan and lid.

Belair gets clocked with the lid and Bayley is catapulted into Jax’s vicinity for a clothesline. Naomi gets crushed by the big legdrop and a middle rope G9 hits Belair. Some chair shots have Jax down and it’s Sky…running all the way over to the other side of the ring to find a purple trashcan. It comes with a rope attached so she can climb up with the can on her back, but LeRae is there to meet her.

Sky tries a sunset bomb but can’t make it work, eventually landing in the ring nearly two minutes after her entrance. A missile dropkick cuts LeRae down and it’s a flip off between Sky and Stratton (“I can do that too!”). The Bullet Train connects in the corners until Jax runs Sky over. Rodriguez is in to even things up again and she pulls out a table, which she leaves on the floor. Thankfully she gets in because NO ONE IS DOING ANYTHING.

Jax and Rodriguez powerbomb people into the cage and onto each other until it’s Ripley in to complete her team (with a horned facemask as a bonus). Ripley brings the table in and gets to clean house as her partners get up. Jax and Rodriguez are knocked into the corner with weapons, including the toilet seat and Bayley using Belair’s hair as a whip in a great spot. LeRae and Rodriguez get in a few shots, but it’s Ripley standing alone as Morgan is supposed to come in, only to be scared to death instead.

Morgan teases leaving but comes back with a baseball mat and gets inside, meaning the match is officially on and can end at any time. Ripley takes off the facemask and says bring it, before easily disarming Morgan. The Riptide is broken up though and Ripley is held for some baseball bat shots to the ribs. That’s broken up and we hit the parade of knockdowns until Jax Samoan drops Bayley for two.

Sky and Stratton both head up, with Sky putting on the trashcan, before they both flip dive onto a pile of people in different rings. There’s your big spot, and it allows Stratton to pull out…the Money In The Bank briefcase, as both Jax and Morgan (the reigning champions) are both down. Sky breaks that up with a blast from the fire extinguisher and Ripley handcuffs Rodriguez to a rope.

Jax cuts Ripley off though and drops a leg on Belair for two. Bayley vs. Sky is teased but quickly cut off by Jax, who doesn’t like the idea of fun. The Annihilator is loaded up but turned into a double powerbomb through a table. Riptide is broken up by the handcuffed Rodriguez and Morgan Codebreakers a chair into Ripley’s face. They go up top and Ripley fights back, with a super Riptide through a table finishing Morgan at 38:05.

Rating: C-. Yeah this hasn’t gotten any better in a year, as it was much more about getting in spots than anything else. There were so many sections that were little more than waiting around for someone to come in, which just made the match feel long. It had a few moments, but forgive me for not getting into stuff with a toilet seat and Belair taking so long to pick out various weapons. Cut out a lot of time and it’s better, which is rarely a good sign.

We recap LA Knight defending the US Title against Shinsuke Nakamura. Knight is the popular champion but Nakamura returned and attacked him, setting up the title match.

US Title: Shinsuke Nakamura vs. LA Knight

Knight is defending and backs away from some early kicks. Nakamura takes him down for a kick to the back but Knight is right back with the stomps in the corner. They go outside with Knight ramming him into the apron, followed by a ribs first drop over the top back inside. Nakamura goes simple by kicking him in the face for two and the slow kicks have Knight in more trouble.

Knight pops back up and blocks a spinning kick, setting up a Burning Hammer of all things for two. They go up top, where Knight slips a bit, allowing Nakamura to kick him back down. A belly to back superplex flipped into a faceplant gives Nakamura two but Knight knocks him right back down. The jumping top rope elbow connects but Nakamura bails from the threat of a BFT. They fight between the rings, where Nakamura manages a reverse DDT. Kinshasa gives Nakamura the title at 9:47.

Rating: C+. I couldn’t quite get into this one, as they never got out of the low gears. Knight losing is a bit weird as well, as he was on fire at this point and Nakamura just popped up and won the title. If nothing else, it does give Knight a fresh target, but it’s kind of a weird way to get there.

We recap the Intercontinental Title triple threat. Bron Breakker is the unstoppable monster, Sheamus is the old fighter wanting the title and Ludwig Kaiser is here to make it a triple threat.

Intercontinental Title: Bron Breakker vs. Sheamus vs. Ludwig Kaiser

Breakker is defending. Kaiser gets smart by heading outside, leaving the other two to slug it out. That doesn’t last long as Kaiser comes back in and gets planted so Sheamus Irish Curses Breakker. Kaiser breaks up a powerbomb and wedges a chair into the corner, earning himself a double beating. Breakker isn’t about to let Sheamus hit the ten forearms but Kaiser breaks up the running spear.

Sheamus is dropkicked into the steps and rammed into the announcers’ table, only for Breakker to suplex Kaiser on the floor. Back in and Breakker knocks Sheamus down again, meaning it’s time for the Scott Steiner pushups. Sheamus fights back so Kaiser makes the save and they all go outside. Sheamus and Kaiser fight on the announcers’ table, with Breakker diving off the apron for a double clothesline.

Kaiser breaks out of a gorilla press with a rake to the eyes….but Sheamus rises up (great visual) for the ten forearms to the chest. Breakker tries to cut it off and gets forearmed as well. Sheamus’ double clothesline off the barricade drops them both so Kaiser grabs the shillelagh. You never take another man’s shillelagh so Sheamus clotheslines him over the barricade and throws it down, leaving him to go after Breakker.

Sheamus gets the better of the brawl and hits a Celtic Cross for two but Breakker catches him on top with the super Frankensteiner. Back up and the Super Spear hits the chair in the corner, allowing Sheamus to hit the Brogue Kick. Kaiser pulls the referee though and Sheamus is not pleased. Back in and Sheamus knees Kaiser down but Breakker runs Kaiser over. The Super Spear to Sheamus retains the title at 14:25.

Rating: B+. I can always go for a match that is exactly as advertised and that’s what we got here. This was about three people beating the fire out of each other and they didn’t do anything else. Even Kaiser, who isn’t known for his power offense, was getting his stuff in against the monsters. It was a lot of fun and Breakker is thriving in this style.

We recap Gunther defending the World Title against Damian Priest. Gunther beat Priest for the title with an assist from Finn Balor at Summerslam. Now it’s a rematch, with Gunther calling Priest street trash, which doesn’t sit well with Priest, as you might expect. Gunther is also coming off a loss at Crown Jewel, with Priest suggesting that Gunther is losing his aura.

Raw World Title: Damian Priest vs. Gunther

Gunther is defending. They take their time looking at each other until Gunther’s early headlock takeover doesn’t get him very far. Priest’s armdrags into armbars have Gunther in trouble and the threat of a spinning kick to the head sends him bailing outside. Back in and Priest runs him over with a shoulder, followed by something like a flapjack. Priest comes up favoring his shoulder though and you know Gunther knows what to do with that.

Gunther rams the arm into various things, followed by a hammerlock for some knees into the arm. The first big chop drops Priest again and Gunther cranks on both arms at the same time. Priest fights up and they hit big shots at the same time for a double down. Priest gets up and hits a running elbow in the corner, followed by a lifting Downward Spiral for two. Gunther tries a crossface chickenwing but Priest pulls him into a triangle choke, using his still fine legs.

That’s broken up so Priest tries the Razor’s Edge, which is reversed into a sleeper. The powerbomb gets two and Gunther goes up top, only to get caught by Priest. A super hurricanrana brings Gunther back down and the Razor’s Edge gets two, as Priest can’t hook the leg. The chokeslam doesn’t work as the arm gives out and Gunther pulls him into a Kimura.

Back up and Priest hits a heck of a clothesline before going up top. Gunther knocks him down and Priest seems to have hurt his other arm. Cue Finn Balor with a Coup de Grace off the steps to Priest. Gunther kicks him down as well, followed by the powerbomb and an arm trap sleeper to retain at 19:30.

Rating: B. It was good, though it was hard to buy that Priest had any kind of a chance to win here. The idea here was to have Gunther get his win over Priest without the interference…and then it was basically the same thing as Summerslam. The arm work was good stuff and Gunther knows how to pick an injury apart, which was exactly what we got here. Good match, though the ending was a bit disappointing.

We recap the men’s WarGames match, which is basically original Bloodline vs. Solo Sikoa’s new Bloodline. Bronson Reed joined the villains, but Paul Heyman brought in CM Punk to even it up, though he owes Punk a favor as a result.

Team Reigns vs. Team Sikoa

Roman Reigns, Jimmy Uso, Jey Uso, Sami Zayn, CM Punk
Solo Sikoa, Bronson Reed, Jacob Fatu, Tama Tonga, Tonga Loa

Sikoa and company get in their cage so Punk reaches in for a shove, as he knows how to keep things interesting. Tama and Jey start things off after some rather lengthy introductions. The lengthy continues as they stare at each other for over a minute without making contact. Eventually Tama wins an early slugout and hits a quick slingshot splash for a cover, only to realize it doesn’t matter yet.

The fans tell him that he censored up, which seems a bit harsh. There’s no need to swear. Jey knocks him back into the corner for the running Umaga Attack and it’s Bronson Reed coming in for the evil advantage. Reed brings in chairs, which Jey throws at him, only for Reed to knock out of the air. Jey gets knocked down and crushed with a backsplash so the double teaming can ensue.

The fans want Jimmy and get him a few seconds later, with Jimmy being smart enough to run in and start slugging away instead of looking for weapons and allowing the villains to beat Jey down even more. Man, when JIMMY USO is the smart one, you’re in trouble. Something like an extra spinny Whisper In The Wind drops Reed and Tama as the Usos get to fight back. The stereo ten right hands in the corner have Reed and Tama staggered some more and Reed gets sent into the cage.

Loa is set to come in next but Sikoa sends in Fatu instead, as the fans know things just got serious. Fatu runs both Usos over, with Fatu hitting a handspring body block to send Jimmy into the cage, setting up a moonsault to Jey. Tama is back up to flip a lifted Jey down for a slam as the dominance is on. CM Punk is about to go in next, but Reigns cuts him off and sends Zayn in instead. You can imagine how well this goes with Punk, though thankfully Zayn is also smart enough to ignore the weapons (again, because they’re REALLY NOT NEEDED).

A clothesline drops Tama and Zayn punches Reed down in the corner as Punk is looking ticked off in the cage. Fatu pulls Zayn out of the air but Jimmy makes the save with a superkick. Reed is back up to start pounding away though and things even up a bit. Loa is in next and, since his team is mostly in control, he throws in some tables. The Usos and Zayn get caught in the corners for quite the beatings and Reigns is set to go in next, but Punk goes in front of him, which is pretty much in line for him.

Most of the other team is waiting on him so Punk steps back down and grabs a tool box, which is bounced off four straight heads. A bulldog sends Fatu onto the toolbox but he pops right back up and hits Punk with the pop up Samoan drop. The brawl heads towards the area between the rings and Sikoa is in to complete his team (albeit after saying something to Reigns).

Sikoa slams the door on Zayn’s head and then does it again to the Usos. With Sikoa inside, the Tongas lay out the Usos again and it’s a moonsault from Fatu into a Tsunami from Reed as the destruction continues. The clock is almost down so Sikoa uses a padlock and chain to lock the door. Reigns is freed from the cage and Sikoa and company stop to look at him, which doesn’t seem to be the best idea.

Reigns looks around the outside of the cage to find a way in and eventually realizes there’s no roof on the thing and goes up the side. Quite the collection of punches allows reigns to get in and a high crossbody off the top takes out all five of them at once. Reigns goes over to help his teammates up (not Punk) and gets in a big staredown with Punk, but here is Paul Heyman to cool things off. NOW we get the announcement that WarGames have officially begun, as apparently the last two minutes didn’t count.

We get the big ten way staredown and the ensuing fight as everyone pairs off. Sikoa’s Spike misses Reigns, who spears Punk (holding Fatu at the time) by mistake. Now the Spike connects with Reigns to give Sikoa two, leaving him looking stunned. Fatu and Reed go after Punk but Fatu seems to injure his knee on a moonsault attempt. Zayn and Jimmy are back up but get taken right back down, allowing a table to be set up. Reigns fights back but gets knocked onto the table…and Reed goes up.

Make that all the way up, as he climbs to the top of the cage for the Tsunami but Punk pulls Reigns out of the way. The crash results in Reed breaking his ankle, which would keep him out of action for a LONG time. Sikoa is back up with another Spike to Reigns but Jey makes the save with a superkick.

The 1D hits Fatu, which actually keeps him down for a change. Fatu is laid on a table but Jey gets sent into the cage. Zayn cuts Tama off with the Blue Thunder Bomb and Jimmy goes up to the top of the cage for a Superfly Splash to crush Fatu. With everyone else down, Sikoa is left alone against everyone else and it’s finishers a go-go, including a GTS into Reigns’ spear for the pin at 41:56.

Rating: B. The best thing I can say here is that it felt like a fight. This came off like two teams, even with one of them makeshift, going into a battleground and fighting until one of them was defeated. It did go too long, which you know is coming with one of these matches, but at least it wasn’t full of a bunch of weapons. They definitely needed to trim it down again as a lot of the early stuff feels worthless by the time you get to the huge brawl, though that’s all you get with modern WarGames matches. Good stuff here, though not without the usual issues.

Post match the winners get the big celebration and Punk and Reigns seem ok, though Punk doing the GTS pose while everyone else does the point is great. Punk hugs Heyman and Reigns looks at Heyman and they all go to the entrance to pose again, with Punk again doing a different gesture in a funny bit to wrap it up.

The long highlight package finishes things off.

Overall Rating: B. The thing with a show like this is that it is basically two matches with three others, including a nearly twenty minute World Title match, feeling like bonus features. The men’s version was pretty awesome but the women’s match was quite the misfire. Throw in three other matches which were good enough to bring the show up a bit and we’ll call the whole thing a solid enough event. Just fix the women’s match.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Survivor Series 2023 (2024 Edition): Two For One

Survivor Series 2023
Date: November 25, 2023
Location: Allstate Arena, Rosemont, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves

So believe it or not, the focus is going to be on WarGames and in this case it means the good guys need one more star to help fight off Judgment Day. In theory that is going to be Randy Orton, who has been gone for about a year and a half and isn’t quite back yet. Other than that, Damage CTRL is facing another ragtag group of women so let’s get to it.

It’s almost weird to see the old Then Now Together Forever intro after the change at Wrestlemania XL.

The opening video focuses on WarGames, because what else was it going to be?

The cage is lowered.

WarGames recap:

• Two wrestlers start and fight for five minutes.

• After five minutes, the team with the advantage (as determined before the match) gets a three minute advantage.

• The teams alternate until all ten are in and then it’s first pin/submission to win.

Women’s WarGames

Charlotte, Bianca Belair, Becky Lynch, Shotzi
Bayley, Iyo Sky, Asuka, Kairi Sane

Lynch and Bayley start things off with Lynch sending her into the cage, only to get sent into the buckle. Bayley catches Lynch going up top but Lynch rolls over her and they slug it out. Lynch’s exploder sends her flying but Bayley gets in a ram into the cage. They go between the rings so Bayley can get in a suplex as they’re certainly going with the violence to start. The fight goes into the other ring and Lynch sends her into the cage a few times.

The Disarm-Her goes on but here is Dakota Kai with a kendo stick through the cage to break it up. That’s enough for Bayley to take over and it’s Shotzi coming in, with a ram of the door onto Bayley’s head, to take over. Naturally that means a bunch of chairs and weapons are thrown in, because THE BIG DOUBLE CAGE isn’t enough. Shotzi sets up the chair and Bayley has to climb the cage to get away from some rather painful swings.

They all go up the cage and ram each other into the steel until Bayley crashes down. Stereo forearms from the to take her down again but it’s Iyo Sky coming in to tie it up, complete with a chain. For some reason Lynch and Shotzi don’t see her coming and get beaten down, as WarGames seems to make people a bit slow. A springboard double missile dropkick puts Lynch and Shotzi down again and Bayley is back up. Lynch gets double superplexed down for a crash but Shotzi fights out of the corner, allowing Belair to come in.

Belair whips with the hair and the fans rather approve. A spinebuster puts Bayley down but she and grab the braids, only to get suplexed down. Lynch and Shotzi are back in with a guillotine legdrop and top rope splash before Kairi Sane is in to even things up. Well eventually that is, as she takes her sweet time getting a trashcan lid and then headscissoring Belair anyway.

The sliding forearm against the cage sends Belair into the cage before it’s time to bury Shotzi under some chairs. The pop up elbow drop crushes Shotzi but Belair is back to throw Sane onto Bayley and Sky. Charlotte comes in to complete her team and Sky is sent crashing into the cage. Naturally the fans want tables but have to settle for a top rope double Natural Selection (which Graves has to point out to Cole, who realizes his mistake in a funny bit) to Bayley and Sane.

Charlotte starts climbing the cage but Sky, with a chain, gets o her shoulders and gets all the way to the top. Sky drops the chain to Kai, who ties it around a trashcan so Sky can pull it up (that was clever). Sky puts the trashcan over her head and dives onto the pile (she LOVES that spot), who were nice enough to stand there while Sky took forever to get ready (fair enough). Asuka is in to complete the field and she has some colored kendo sticks. And a table. And a fire extinguisher.

Therefore, a good minute after her clock ended, Asuka gets in and WarGames officially begins. Damage CTRL all grab weapons to hammer on the others, with Lynch and Belair being tied together with the chain like they’re in an old western. Shotzi is back up but gets misted by Asuka to cut her right back down. Lynch is put inside the trashcan and dropkicked down for two and it’s time to set up a table. Belair and Lynch come back with powerbombs out of the corner though and Charlotte goes all the way up top for the huge moonsault to wipe out everyone.

We get the big staredown between Lynch and Charlotte, who hug for the rather positive reaction. The Figure Eight and cross armbreaker go on but Sane is up for the save. Shotzi is back up to drop Asuka for two with Bayley making a save of her own. Bayley Rose Plants Lynch but gets caught with a Sliced Bread from Shotzi. Belair is up with the fire extinguisher and Charlotte spears Bayley. The KOD hits Bayley as well and the super Manhandle Slam through a table finishes her off at 33:37.

Rating: B. It had the carnage and violence with the weapons, but there is always a lack of intensity to these matches that hold them back. Part of it stems from the people coming to the ring but then pausing to get their weapons. Other than that, it was the usual WWE WarGames: a lot of brawling and hitting other people with weapons, with the cage mainly being there to jump off of rather than for violence, which is more than a bit odd.

The winners pose on top of the cage.

Chelsea Green, Piper Niven and the Alpha Academy are enjoying some Ruffles when Pretty Deadly come in to argue over whether they’re chips or crisps. R-Truth comes in to say they’re Ruffles.

Sami Zayn tells Jey Uso that Randy Orton, the last member of their team, isn’t here yet. Jey isn’t surprised and takes the blame because the Bloodline injured him two years ago. Sami says it’s not his fault and things seem to be ok.

We recap Miz challenging Gunther for the Intercontinental Title. Gunther is the longest reigning champion and doesn’t think much of Miz, who wants the title back. To say Miz has no chance here would be an understatement.

Intercontinental Title: Miz vs. Gunther

Gunther is defending and commentary spends his entrance talking about how he is almost unbeatable, even giving Miz’s long shot betting odds. Miz kicks at the leg to start and a chop just annoys Gunther. A much better chop puts Miz down but he’s back up with more chops and some left hands in the corner to actually take over. Gunther gives chase but gets his leg wrapped around the post to slow him down.

The Figure Four around the post stays on the leg, though it’s good enough to boot Miz out of the air back inside. Gunther slows things down a bit and chops away to drop Miz again. A release German suplex sends Miz flying and a big boot lets Gunther pose as the dominance is on. Back up and Miz strikes away at the knee again, with a shinbreaker slowing Gunther down. Some kicks to the chest stagger Gunther into the corner and a tornado DDT gets two.

The Skull Crushing Finale is blocked though and Gunther grabs his powerbomb for his own near fall. The sleeper goes on so Miz goes to the corner, pulling the turnbuckle off in the process. A low blow into the Skull Crushing Finale gets two (with Cole letting us know that “MIZ IS GONNA DO IT!” to ruin the moment) and Miz is shocked. The fans want to see it again but Miz gets caught in the sleeper. That’s reversed into a ram into the buckle so Miz can roll him up for two (with a Bret Hart vs. Roddy Piper reference), only to get blasted with a clothesline. The top rope splash into the Boston crab retains the title at 12:19.

Rating: B-. This was about as good as it was going to be as there was just no reason to believe that Miz was going to win. Even his big near fall was only so good, as pretty much no one was on Gunther’s level at this time. Miz going after the leg to slow Gunther down was a good story, as Miz can still wrestle a fine match given the chance. It was a good match, but there was just not much drama and that held it back.

Judgment Day is ready for WarGames and is rather pleased that Randy Orton doesn’t seem to be here. Even if he shows up, he might poison the other team and Judgment Day wins anyway.

We recap Dragon Lee vs. Santos Escobar. This stems from Escobar turning on Rey Mysterio and the LWO, so Lee is standing up for the team (replacing Carlito, who was also injured by Escobar). Pretty simple story here and that’s not a bad thing.

Santos Escobar vs. Dragon Lee

Escobar forearms away to start and stomps him down, setting up a quick backbreaker for two. Some running knees in the corner send Lee outside, where he has to escape having his leg crushed in the steps. A running hurricanrana off the apron sends Escobar outside and there’s the big running flip dive.

Back in and Escobar kicks him in the head, setting up a super hurricanrana for two. Like any good rudo, Escobar goes after the mask but Lee is fine enough to tie him in the tree of woe for thee double stomp. Back up and Escobar hits a heck of a superkick but Lee muscles him up into a sitout powerbomb for two. Escobar shrugs that off and his a Canadian Destroyer, followed by the Phantom Driver for the pin at 8:20.

Rating: C+. WWE was doing what they could to make Lee into a bigger deal around this time but it was only going to get so far when he kept losing. Escobar was running through the LWO on his way to a showdown with Rey Mysterio whenever Mysterio got back and he had to beat Lee on the way there. This wasn’t a great match, but it kept Escobar looking strong and it’s nice to have something other than a title or WarGames mach on the show.

New Day is here with a Slim Jim car.

We recap Zoey Stark challenging Rhea Ripley for the Raw Women’s Title. Stark is the new tough star and Ripley needs a fresh victim so the match is on.

Raw Women’s Title: Rhea Ripley vs. Zoey Stark

Ripley is defending and Stark actually double legs her down to hammer away to start. A dropkick sends Ripley outside and there’s the dive off the top to take her down again. Back in and a missile dropkick continues Stark’s hot start but Ripley headbutts her into the next county to cut that off in a hurry. Stark is right back with a DDT onto the apron and a springboard corkscrew senton gets two. They go outside again with Ripley dropping her onto the apron and then sending her into the post to really take over.

Ripley cranks on both arms back inside and then stomps her down before taking Stark up top. What looks to be a super chokeslam is countered into…I have no idea what Stark was doing there but she gets two and screams a lot. Ripley elbows and kicks her in the face, setting up a belly to back faceplant. Riptide is countered though and Stark hits a running knee for two. The Z360 is blocked as well and now Riptide can connect to retain the title at 9:16.

Rating: C. This got a bit sloppy after that whole thing off the top, as even commentary didn’t seem sure about what was going on. Other than that, it was Ripley against someone who only felt like so much of a threat. That’s part of the problem with someone becoming as big of a star as Ripley: you can only have so many realistic challengers to her and that is becoming an issue here.

Randy Orton still isn’t here and Jey Uso still blames himself.

We recap the men’s WarGames match. Judgment Day is the big monster heel stable on Raw and a bunch of people are sick of them, so violence ensued and the match is on. Drew McIntyre is in with Judgment Day for the sake of getting his hands on Jey Uso in a cage. It still isn’t clear if Randy Orton will be here, as he hasn’t been around in about a year and a half at this point.

Men’s WarGames

Cody Rhodes, Seth Rollins, Jey Uso, Sami Zayn, Randy Orton
Damian Priest, Finn Balor, Dominik Mysterio, JD McDonagh, Drew McIntyre

McIntyre and Priest stare each other down on the stage as Balor goes to start with Rollins (who doesn’t have a Randy Orton here yet). They start fast with Rollins diving over the ropes to jump Balor and hammer away. The fight is quickly on and Rollins sends him into the cage a few times and they change rings, where Balor escapes a buckle bomb. Balor sends him into the cage to take over and there’s a Sling Blade to drop Rollins again as a CM PUNK chant starts up.

A superkick gives Rollins a breather but Balor backdrops him onto the plate between the rings. The Coup de Grace misses though and Rollins grabs a quick Sling Blade. Rollins drops him again and it’s JD McDonagh to uneven things, albeit a good bit less than five minutes into the match. Rollins kicks him on the way in but gets hit with a kendo stick for his efforts.

Balor and McDonagh take turns choking with the kendo sticks but Rollins sends McDonagh into the other ring. That’s broken up in a hurry and a middle rope kendo stick to the back puts Rollins down again. Jey Uso is in next (McIntyre gives him a death stare) and chairs McDonagh down before firing off the YEET punches. The dancing spit punch puts Balor down but McDonagh is back up with a running Spanish Fly.

Rollins makes the save and hammers on Balor in the corner as the clock runs down. McIntyre is ready to get in and go after Uso but Priest cuts him off, saying they stick to the plan. Rollins and Uso jump him as he comes in but the other two make the save, allowing Priest to whip out a baton and take over. Priest hits some running shoulders in the corner, followed by a lifting Downward Spiral to Rollins.

A top rope flip dive takes out Rollins and Uso and Balor chairs Uso in the back. Sami Zayn comes in to even the sides, and takes his sweet time doing so. McDonagh, ever the nitwit, swings a kendo stick at Zayn, who takes it away and blasts him with it instead. The table is thrown in, which the fans find UCEY. Zayn is fired up as he stomps away, setting up a Blue Thunder Bomb to Balor. With the villains down, Zayn goes up and grabs a pipe, which is used on various opponents in rather painful ways.

A kendo stick to the back rocks Balor and Zayn throws the stick out of the cage, possibly by accident. McIntyre is in and throws Rollins and Zayn around without much effort. That leaves McIntyre to finally go into the other ring with Uso, who slugs away but gets dropped by a neckbreaker. The rest of Judgment Day is back up to hammer away, but McIntyre’s Claymore runs into a superkick from Uso.

A 1D puts McIntyre down and Cody Rhodes is in, with Cole immediately going into the Dusty Rhodes tribute. Cole: “Cody also invented a big event in this city as well!” And we move on. Rhodes cleans house and suplexes Balor onto McDonagh for a crash. It’s bullrope time (of course) and Rollins joins Rhodes in taking out Balor and McDonagh. Dominik Mysterio is in to complete the Judgment Day and gives Rhodes Two Amigos…and then realizes he’s surrounded.

The big group beatdown has the fans rather pleased and a table being set up in the corner makes them even happier. The rest of the villains save Mysterio and the fans chant for Orton. That’s switched to Punk, followed by silence as McIntyre and Priest hit a triple chokeslam (and a good one at that). McDonagh adds a moonsault, Balor hits the Coup de Grace and Mysterio drops the frog splash.

Priest Razor’s Edges Rollins through a table and the clock ends….but there’s no Orton. Instead here is Rhea Ripley with Priest’s Money In The Bank briefcase, which for some reason is enough to bring Orton out (no cash-in) and egads the fans are happy to see him. Orton gets in the cage (no weapons) and slams the door, which bounces back open in a funny bit. House is quickly cleaned, mainly because Judgment Day comes at him one at a time.

McIntyre gets in a shot on Orton and the big beatdown is on. Everyone else is back up for the save and Orton and company hit quintuple hanging DDTs. Orton teases an RKO to Uso but Uso superkicks Priest to save Orton instead. The RKO drops Mysterio and it’s a parade of finishers to the villains. Everyone goes after McDonagh, who tries to escape but Zayn and Rollins follow him up top. With Orton on the mat, Zayn and Rollins throw McDonagh into an RKO, leaving Rhodes to Cross Rhodes Priest for the pin at 34:22.

Rating: B+. I liked this one a bit more than the women’s version, mainly because it felt more like a fight rather than a big series of weapons spots. The pop when Orton came out was insane and it made things feel special. You don’t see that kind of thing very often and the whole thing was about as violent as this is going to get. Seeing Mysterio and Mysterio get beaten down was a good way to go and this felt like an all-star team coming together to take out a mostly unified opposition. Solid main event here, and while it wasn’t a classic WarGames match, it was good by WWE standards.

The good guys celebrate, the copyright notice comes up….and the impossible happens as CM Punk is back for the first time in almost ten years. The fans take over the IT’S CLOBBERIN TIME and Punk hugs a bunch of fans. This was an absolutely insane moment that I never thought I would see. Even after Punk left AEW, it was hard to fathom and yet here it was. Great way to end the show and dang it worked.

A long recap ends the show.

Overall Rating: B. This show was centered around two matches and those matches both delivered. The other three were just filler to get us from one big match to the next and that’s a fine way to go. The big stories here were the double returns at the end and those worked rather well. It helps that the show was less than three hours from start to finish so they didn’t waste any time. Good show here, with the special moment at the end being worth a look.

 

 

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Survivor Series Count-Up – 2022 (2023 Edition): It Happened

Survivor Series 2022
Date: November 26, 2022
Location: TD Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 15,609
Commentators: Kevin Patrick, Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Wade Barrett

It’s been a year since WWE had its first (main roster) WarGames match and believe it or not, the focus is on the Bloodline. This time around Sami Zayn has to prove his loyalty to the team, which is creating some drama. Other than that, we have Team Belair vs. Team Damage CTRL in the women’s version, which should be quite good as well. Let’s get to it.

The opening video, featuring Ozzy Osbourne, looks at WarGames because, well, what else would it look at?

Commentary welcomes us to the show and explains the rules of WarGames:

• Two wrestlers start and fight for five minutes.

• After five minutes, the team with the advantage (as determined before the match) gets a three minute advantage.

• The teams alternate until all ten are in and then it’s first pin/submission to win.

• No it isn’t the original WarGames rules. Let it go already.

Team Belair vs. Team Damage CTRL

Belair: Bianca Belair, Alexa Bliss, Asuka, Mia Yim, Becky Lynch
Damage CTRL: Bayley, Dakota Kai, Iyo Sky, Nikki Cross, Rhea Ripley

Kai and Belair start things off with the former running away to get it going. Belair wrestles her to the mat before hitting a running shoulder as the slow pace starts. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Kai down again and we talk about Belair’s recent interview with Sports Illustrated, which is as WARGAMES-y as you can get.

Kai gets in a shot of her own and they go into the second cage and try to make it all the way to first gear. A scorpion kick staggers Belair but she runs Kai over and sends her into the cage (as we now remember that they’re in a CAGE). Another toss into the cage leaves Kai down and it’s Sky unevening the odds. Sky and Belair take turns flipping around until Belair gets caught between the two of them in between the rings.

The villains take over on Belair in the corner until she double suplexes her way out of trouble. Asuka comes in to help Belair clean house and we get the big showdown with Sky. They both counter whips into the ropes until Asuka hits a running hip attack against said ropes. The running knee to the head puts Sky down again and Belair is back up with a gorilla press toss to Kai. Cross is in next but first it’s time for the weapons. Asuka gets the door slammed onto her head, leaving Cross to tornado DDT Belair.

With Belair and Asuka down, Cross whips them with her coat until Kai and Sky are up to get in their variety of choking. It’s Bliss coming in to even things up again and some dropkicks put Cross and Kai down. Belair gets back up and breaks a kendo stick but Kai and Sky use the full ones to cut her off. Cross sits on top of the cage as sticking and hair whipping ensue below. Naturally that means the big dive to take everyone out and yes Cross laughed the whole time.

Now it’s Bayley coming in so let’s grab some ladders. The fans want tables so Bayley obliges as the match has more or less stopped while she moves stuff around. Bayley sends Belair into the corner before putting her in between the rings again. A table shot to the ribs leaves Belair trapped until Yim is….released to grab more weapons. House is quickly cleaned, including Kai being rammed into the cage and kicked in the face over and over.

Cross chokes Yim and the people split off again as this really isn’t picking up. Some superplexes have everyone down and it’s Ripley coming in to complete Damage CTRL. House is quickly cleaned until everyone just kind of stands around (save for Ripley Prism Trapping Asuka) until Yim makes a random comeback on Ripley as the rest are in the other ring.

That’s broken up and it’s Lynch in to complete the field, meaning the match can officially be won. Lynch gets to clean house as the ans aren’t exactly on fire for this. That might be due to how slow everything is going since Lynch keeps messing with the trashcan instead of running around punching people or wrecking them all with a chair.

We get the big Lynch vs. Bayley showdown with Lynch easily getting the better of things. With Bayley stomped down, Lynch turns around to see Ripley for the really big showdown. A quick Riptide attempt is broken up but Bayley makes the save. Now Riptide can connect for two with Asuka making a save. The mist blinds Ripley but Bayley drops Asuka face first onto the turnbuckle.

Bayley beats Lynch down and declares herself as a role model more than The Man. The Rose Plant onto the steel between the rings gets two and it’s time for a bunch of people to go to the corner. Cross cuts Belair off to break up a seven person Tower Of Doom so a bunch of people crash down instead. Sky moonsaults off the top of the cage onto Yim and Belair (who is favoring her leg) to FINALLY wake up the crowd.

Everyone is down (cue the overhead camera shot) until Cross beats up Bliss. Cross shouts about how she hasn’t forgotten and handcuffs Bliss to…nothing as Bliss handcuffs herself to Cross instead. An electric chair onto a trashcan leaves them both down and we pause again. Ripley is back up to send Asuka into the cage but Yim is back up with a choke.

That means a big crash through the ladder and, say it with me, everyone is down again. Becky and Belair get the showdown Damage CTRL and Kai gets Manhandle Slammed. The KOD to Sky lets Belair put Kai on a table and send Bayley into the cage. Lynch drops a leg off the cage to put Kai through the table for the pin at 39:34.

Rating: C. Sweet goodness this was boring. As is the case with just about every modern incarnation of this match (in WWE, NXT or AEW) it went WAY too long as this was about 15-20 minutes longer than it needed to be. The longer time meant that there were far too many stretches where nothing went on as they were laying around waiting on someone to do something. There were good parts to it, but this needed to be WAY shorter with a lot more action than we got.

On Smackdown, with a hidden Jey Uso listening, Kevin Owens told Sami Zayn to turn on the Bloodline. With Owens gone, Jey asked if Sami had talked to anyone but Sami said he just got here. Then Sami cost Jey a match for the WarGames advantage, with commentary wondering if it was on purpose.

Roman Reigns makes sure Jey Uso is ready for WarGames. Jey is ready, but he doesn’t trust Sami after last night. He would take Sami out if Reigns gave the order, but Reigns tells him to be on the same page tonight. Reigns will know if Sami is telling the truth and wants Jey to focus. With Jey gone, Reigns looks worried and has Paul Heyman call Sami.

We recap Finn Balor vs. AJ Styles, which has been going on for a few months. Styles couldn’t deal with the Judgment Day’s numbers game, so he brought back the OC to even things up.

Finn Balor vs. AJ Styles

The rest of Judgment Day (minus Rhea Ripley) and the OC are here too. Of note: Cole talks about Dominik and Ripley invading Rey Mysterio’s home during Thanksgiving. Dominik better watch that or he’ll get arrested. They fight over arm control to start with Styles driving him up against the ropes for a clean break.

Back up and Balor takes him into the corner but his kick to the ribs is cut off. Styles starts going after the leg, including a shinbreaker which has Balor appealing to their past friendship. Balor manages to take him down though and stomp away, though he has to stop to favor the leg. A knee to the back gets two and we hit the abdominal stretch. Styles fights his way out and hits the running forearm, followed by the fireman’s carry backbreaker for two.

Another shot to the leg cuts Balor down but Dominik breaks up the Phenomenal Forearm. Everyone else brawls on the floor and fight into the crowd, leaving Balor to hit a Sling Blade on Styles. A charge is cut off though and Styles suplexes him into the corner. It’s too early for the Calf Crusher though as Balor manages a double stomp to leave Styles down. Balor’s back is all messed up from….something but he’s fine enough to try his own Styles Clash. That’s broken up, just like Styles’ Calf Crusher attempt.

Another double knockdown gives us a breather, followed by Balor’s own fireman’s carry backbreaker. 1916 is broken up though and Styles moonsaults into a Nightmare on Helms Street for two. Balor puts him back down but misses the Coup de Grace. Instead Styles grabs the Calf Crusher until Balor rams him head first into the mat to escape. Back up and they slug it out until Styles is sent to the apron, where the Phenomenal Forearm finishes Balor at 18:23.

Rating: B. There are matches where you know you’re going to see something good just based on who is out there. That was the case here and WWE was smart enough to give the two of them that much time. Styles hadn’t been doing so well in his battle against Judgment Day and you have to give him a win like this every so often to keep him looking strong. Good stuff here and a heck of a match between two talented stars.

Post match Styles yells at Balor a bit.

We recap Shotzi challenging Ronda Rousey for the SmackDown Women’s Title. Shotzi won a six way #1 contenders match but Rousey isn’t taking her incredibly seriously, though having Shayna Baszler help with a beatdown made it easier. Rousey and Baszler also injured Shotzi’s friend Raquel Rodriguez so things are personal.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Ronda Rousey vs. Shotzi

Rousey, with Baszler, is defending. Shotzi slugs away to start but gets flipped over. The ankle lock goes on until Shotzi sends her into the corner. Rousey is sent outside but Baszler takes Shotzi’s dive instead. Shotzi sends her into the steps and fires off some hard forearms back inside. A high crossbody is suplexed out of the air but Shotzi sweeps the leg. That doesn’t work for Rousey, who ties up the legs and they kind of lay around on the mat.

Back up and Shotzi nails a right hand to stun Rousey but gets sent outside. Shotzi takes out Baszler and sends her over the barricade, setting up a dive onto Rousey and Baszler at the same time. They beat the count back in and Shotzi goes up, only to get judo thrown down hard. Piper’s Pit and the armbar retain the title at 7:13.

Rating: C+. They were limited with what they could do here, as it’s hard to buy Shotzi as a threat to either the title or Rousey. Shotzi has all kinds of charisma but she hasn’t been presented as a major star, certainly not on Rousey’s level. For what we got here, things went well, though that was about as good as it was going to be.

Sami Zayn comes in to see Roman Reigns and admits that yes, he did talk to Kevin Owens. He didn’t tell Jey Uso about it because he didn’t want to put something extra on Jey’s plate before the WarGames advantage match. And Owens talked to him, saying he should turn on the Bloodline. Reigns gets that Owens and Zayn were friends but this is about his family, so whose side is Zayn on? Zayn says this is what he wants and he’s not turning on the Bloodline. That seems good enough for Reigns.

US Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Austin Theory vs. Seth Rollins

Rollins is defending. Lashley runs Theory over to start and Rollins sends Theory outside, leaving the other two to slug it out. Rollins slips away from a Hurt Lock attempt but Theory pulls Rollins outside for a ram into the barricade. Back in and Theory hammers away on Lashley, who fights up to beat on both of them. A DDT/Downward Spiral combination drops Rollins and Theory and the spinning Dominator hits Rollins as well.

Theory pulls the referee though and tries to grab a chair, which is easily blocked by Lashley. Rollins sends him into the steps though, allowing Theory to jump Rollins from behind. The steps hit Lashley as well and the rolling dropkick gets two on Rollins. A running elbow to the face gets the same and Theory talks a lot of trash. Rollins is back up with a Sling Blade, followed by a bunch of suicide dives to the other two.

That’s not enough as Rollins hits a big dive to take them both out again. Back in and Theory counters a dropkick into a powerbomb for two on Rollins and everyone is down. It’s Lashley up first to take over, meaning Theory uses a sleeper to…well attempt to break up the Hurt Lock. The save eventually works, leaving Rollins to Pedigree Lashley for two. The Phoenix splash misses though and Theory gives Lashley a running Blockbuster.

A Town Down is countered into the Hurt Lock but Theory flips backwards out of the corner. That’s broken up by Rollins’ frog splash so Lashley Hurt Locks both of them at once. With that broken up, Lashley’s spear misses in the corner so Rollins forearms Theory in the back of the head. Rollins uses Theory for a step up Stomp to Lashley and superplexes Theory. The Falcon Arrow is loaded up but Lashley spears Rollins, with Theory landing on him for the pin and the title at 14:50.

Rating: B. This got a good bit better by the end but it was only working so well for the most part. It needed to be about three minutes shorter to really work well. The whole feud was only so good in the first place and then the blowoff match, while good, hit a ceiling. Theory getting the win is nice to see, even if he had to steal the pin for the title.

Jey Uso tells Roman Reigns that he’s ready.

We recap the men’s WarGames match. Everyone hates the Bloodline, who isn’t sure if they can trust Sami Zayn. Now it’s time to see if he can prove himself.

Bloodline vs. Team Owens

Bloodline: Roman Reigns, Jimmy Uso, Jey Uso, Solo Sikoa, Sami Zayn
Owens: Kevin Owens, Drew McIntyre, Sheamus, Ridge Holland, Butch

Butch and Jey start things off and they shout at each other from different rings for a good while. Jey finally gets into the other ring after about a minute of standing around. Butch takes him down without much trouble and cranks on the fingers (as he is known to do), which he then ties into the cage wall. Back up and Jey manages to send him into the cage, followed by a pop up neckbreaker.

Jey goes after the arm and sends it into the cage, only to have Butch stomp on the arm again. Butch gets in something close to a Kimura and it’s Ridge Holland in to give the good guys an advantage. Holland crushes Jey in the corner over and over and a high/low takes him down again. The Brutes start in on Jey’s arms for a bit of a unique strategy, including stereo jumping stomps to said arms. The clock runs down and a sitting Reigns instructs Sami to even things up.

Sami takes more than a minute to get to the ring, allowing Jey to get up and take over on the Brutes. Holland gets stomped between the rings and the fans seem to approve of Zayn. Double teaming cuts off Holland’s comeback but Butch gets up the cage to moonsault onto Jey and Zayn. Now Holland is able to fight up and actually take over until he misses a charge into the cage (thanks to Zayn pulling Jey out of the way).

Drew McIntyre is in next and beats up both villains without much trouble. Jey is sent into the cage over and over before a belly to belly sends Zayn into the corner. Drew: “I’M FEELING PRETTY UCEY RIGHT NOW!” Jey manages to knock Drew into the Tree of Woe but he sits up to send Jey crashing back down. There’s the Futureshock to Zayn but Jimmy Uso comes in to tie it up. That means it’s time for some tables, though Jey doesn’t want Zayn to help set them up.

Jimmy has to break it up as even more time is burned off. The Brutes are beaten down again though, with Butch being sent into the cage so a table can be set up in the corner. McIntyre fights up and avoids being sent through it as Kevin Owens unties things again. Owens brings in some chairs and plants Jimmy onto one, setting up the Cannonball to Jey. A chair is thrown at Jey and we get the Owens vs. Zayn staredown.

Holland, continuing to be useless, breaks it up by jumping Zayn, allowing Jimmy to deck Owens. Jimmy is put through a table though as Cole can’t remember who has the advantage at the moment. Solo Sikoa makes it 4-4 and gets to clean house, as tends to be the villains’ custom. The Samoan drop hits Holland and it’s an Owens vs. Sikoa staredown. They slug it out between the rings until Sikoa shrugs off a ram into the cage.

Some superkicks have the same lack of effect and Sikoa backdrops his way out of a powerbomb attempt. Sikoa goes over to slug it out with McIntyre with Sikoa getting the better of things, only to have the Umaga attack cut off. Sheamus completes Team Owens but Zayn holds the door shut in a smart move. Not that it matters as Sheamus slams it onto Zayn’s head and starts to clean house.

A double clothesline takes down some villains as Reigns is getting ready. Zayn is sent into the cage and the Brutes go after Zayn and the Usos for the big beatdown. White Noise hits Sikoa but it’s Reigns time so the match can officially begin. Naturally this means everyone gets up and we get the five on five staredown, making the last 28 minutes or so pretty much a formality. The fight is on and Reigns cleans house without much effort.

Sheamus cuts off a spear though and we get the quintuple ten (or more in some cases) forearms to the villains’ chests. McIntyre and Sheamus beat on Reigns and the Brogue Kick hits Sikoa. The distraction lets Reigns spear Sheamus but Butch makes the save. Zayn is back up to beat on Butch but Jey superkicks Zayn, presumably by mistake. A super 1D hits Butch for two with Holland making the save this time. Reigns spears Holland through the table in the corner but McIntyre is back up.

Sikoa saves Reigns from a powerbomb and Spinning Solo puts McIntyre through a table. Owens Stuns Sikoa for two so Reigns makes the save for a change. Reigns and Owens slug it out with Reigns hitting a Superman Punch. Owens is back with a Pop Up Powerbomb into the Stunner but Zayn grabs the referee at two. That leaves Owens staring at Zayn (who the fans like) but a superkick is cut off by a low blow. Zayn seems to know he has sealed his fate and Reigns looks up at him, leaving Zayn to Helluva Kick Owens. Jey adds the Superfly Splash for the pin at 38:32.

Rating: B. It’s good fight and as usual this was about the storytelling with Zayn and the Bloodline, but the same problems were there again. There is just SO MUCH waiting around for the match to really get going and it doesn’t feel like hatred. Instead, it feels like “how can we get these weapons spots in” rather than just beating each other up. Cut the match down by about fifteen minutes and it’s much better, but for now it’s just good rather than great.

Zayn is officially accepted into the team, with Jey giving him the big hug. Replays and posing end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. There were some good parts, but WarGames continues to be more of an idea that sounds great on paper rather than in execution. Two matches took about an hour and forty minutes and that does not leave much for the rest of the show. What we got was good and having Zayn get the big definitive Bloodline acceptance (which will absolutely last forever) was nice, but dang it took time to get there. I know Survivor Series has evolved beyond the traditional elimination tag format, but it would be nice to have this new format tweaked a bit, as it could make the show that much better.

 

 

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Survivor Series Count-Up – 2021 (2022 Redo): Thank Goodness It’s Over

Survivor Series 2021
Date: November 21, 2021
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 15,120
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jimmy Smith, Byron Saxton, Pat McAfee

Since it’s Survivor Series and there are no other possible options for the show in the history of ever, it’s time for a Battle Of Brand Supremacy with wrestlers who have been on the roster for about a month. That means a battle of World Champions Roman Reigns and Big E., plus Survivor Series tag matches and….a Rock 25th Anniversary battle royal? Let’s get to it.

For the sake of simplicity, all matches involving champions are non-title.

Kickoff Show: Damian Priest (Raw) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura (Smackdown)

US Champion vs. Intercontinental Champion and Rick Boogs handles Nakamura’s entrance, much to Pat McAfee’s (now dancing on the announcers’ table) delight. Priest works on the arm to start but a Boogs guitar solo cuts that off, allowing Nakamura to grab a headlock. Nakamura takes him into the corner for Good Vibrations, with Boogs playing something that is in no way Good Vibrations.

Back up and Priest knocks him down and grabs a chinlock, meaning Boogs plays some more for a distraction. Some strikes to the head rock Priest and the sliding German suplex makes it worse (with McAfee jumping up to celebrate). Priest fights up and hits a running elbow in the corner, followed by a hard clothesline for two.

South Of Heaven is broken up though and Nakamura kicks him in the head again. Kinshasa is countered into South Of Heaven for two but the Reckoning is blocked. Priest counters an armbar into a triangle choke but Boogs guitars Nakamura to freedom AGAIN. Finally Priest goes outside and breaks the guitar (McAfee: “YOU SON OF A B****!”), with one of the pieces nailing Nakamura for the DQ at 9:24.

Rating: C. I was having fun with the back and forth as they had some chemistry together, but at the same time, there is only so much you can get with the constant Boogs interference. I do like that they didn’t have a champion get pinned here and instead went with Priest snapping to finish things up. Not a great match, but a fast paced one to start things off.

Smackdown – 1
Raw – 0

The opening video talks about how this is two sides battling….and we see a clip from Rock’s Netflix movie Red Notice. The voiceover talks about how many things the movie and show have in common before moving into the nonsense about this being the ONE NIGHT where Raw and Smackdown go head to head. Clips from the movie mock teamwork, which is what this show is all about. After more clips and more generic opening video statements about how important the show is, we’re ready to go.

We recap Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte. They were old friends but then both wanted to be the best, with Lynch getting there in a big way. Then Lynch left on maternity leave and Charlotte bragged about how great she (as in Charlotte) is so now that Lynch is back, it’s time to fight.

Before we got there though, there was also the VERY awkward moment where Charlotte was supposed to hand over the Raw Women’s Title and dropped it instead, leading to ALL KINDS of problems/discussion. Oh and Charlotte’s REALLY annoying “UH-OH” promo. This does at least have a personal story rather than just doing the Raw vs. Smackdown deal.

Charlotte (Smackdown) vs. Becky Lynch (Raw)

For a bonus, they’re both dressed as characters from Wandavision, with Charlotte as the villain and Becky as the hero. Becky hits her in the face to start and the brawl is on early. Charlotte goes for the leg but has to escape a Disarm-Her attempt. Back up and Charlotte hits a spear but Becky hits a heck of a spinning kick to the face. They head outside for a hard posting to Charlotte but it’s too early for the Manhandle Slam.

Charlotte gets her down and rams Becky’s face into the mat over and over. Becky is sent outside so Charlotte loads up the moonsault, which is shoved HARD into the barricade for a great looking crash instead. Charlotte sends her into the barricade and they both get back in at the same time for the big staredown. Becky avoids a shot to the knee in the corner but an armbar is countered into a powerbomb for two.

Some stomps in the corner have Charlotte in trouble and the fans aren’t thrilled with Becky. A fall away slam sends Becky into the corner for a crash, followed by the Andrade double moonsault for two. Charlotte snaps her throat first across the top but Becky knocks her into the ropes. The Fameasser onto the ropes gives Becky two and Charlotte misses the big boot, only to ram her head into Becky’s for two instead. The second big boot gets two instead so Becky is right back with a Christian layout reverse DDT.

Back up and the Manhandle Slam gives Becky two more, setting up a cross between a Figure Four and a heel hook. Charlotte turns it over for the break anyway and they’re both down for a bit. I’m not sure why Becky is down but it does make things a bit more dramatic. Yet another big boot knocks Becky outside and the moonsault…well it comes close to her at least, with the replay not making it any better.

Back in and Charlotte grabs her own Disarm-Her but Becky slips out. They fight into the corner where Charlotte grabs a rollup with ropes for two, as the referee sees the cheating. Becky reverses into a rollup of her own and doesn’t get caught grabbing the ropes for the pin at 18:13.

Rating: B+. These two work well and they treated it as a huge match, especially at the start where they both came out swinging. The ending was more of a way to save Charlotte than to give us a definitive winner, but after Charlotte has gone over so many times, doing a tainted job to the biggest female star ever isn’t asking too much. Great opener, with all kinds of energy and the big fight feel.

Raw – 1
Smackdown – 1

Classic Rock Moment: Debuting at Survivor Series 1996.

Raw Men vs. Smackdown Men

Raw: Seth Rollins, Finn Balor, Kevin Owens, Austin Theory, Bobby Lashley
Smackdown: Drew McIntyre, Jeff Hardy, King Woods, Happy Corbin, Sheamus

Survivor Series match and MVP/Madcap Moss are the respective sixths. Lashley has his spot after taking it from Dominik Mysterio and also caused Rey Mysterio to lose his spot to Theory. On the other side, Sami Zayn lost to Hardy, costing himself a spot on the team. You know, in case you needed a recap on the five people per show being thrown together. Rollins, the self proclaimed Raw captain, lets Owens start, so Owens bails to the floor and leaves for the countout less than a minute in.

After Owens takes a bow, McIntyre jumps Rollins on the floor as Theory comes in to face Woods. Theory gets his arm cranked on and it’s McIntyre coming in to launch him into the corner. Sheamus and McIntyre take turns chopping at Theory (McAfee is rather giddy) and Corbin gets in on it with a pretty good right hand. Theory manages to punch his way to freedom though and the tag brings in Rollins, who is knocked right back into the Smackdown corner.

It’s Hardy coming in to start on the arm and a quick splash gets one. Rollins is able to grab Sheamus by the arm though and Balor comes in to work on that arm for a change. Again though, that doesn’t last long as Sheamus drags him right back over for the tag to Corbin. We continue to e parade of arm cranking between people who don’t really dislike each other, making this match feel all the less interesting. Deep Six gets two on Balor with Lashley making the save, meaning everything breaks down.

With almost everyone else being knocked down, Balor kicks Corbin in the head and drops the Coup de Grace for the elimination. Hardy comes in to face Balor and the fans are rather pleased. It’s Hardy taking over with the basement dropkick but Balor’s own dropkick gets his own two. Lashley comes in for a running shoulder in the corner to Hardy, which has McAfee worried on commentary.

Hardy fights out of Balor’s chinlock and hits Whisper in the Wind, leaving Lashley and McIntyre to fight on the floor. Lashley posts him (McAfee: “DREW ARE YOU OK???”), leaving Theory to cover Hardy for two as the fans are interested in….something. It’s back to Woods to clean house, including a discus forearm to Theory. Lashley crotches Woods on top though and the Hurt Lock is good for the elimination to make it 4-3 Raw.

Everything breaks down again and Balor’s slingshot dive is pulled out of the air by Sheamus. We get the big Lashley vs. McIntyre showdown with Lashley backing up for some reason. McIntyre jumps him instead but Lashley powers him into the corner. That earns him a clothesline out to the floor with McIntyre following to post Lashley for a change. They fight over the barricade and that’s a double countout to get rid of the big guys.

The fans are NOT happy, even as Lashley jumps McIntyre after the eliminations. A Claymore drops Lashley though and a Glasgow Kiss drops a laughing Rollins before both guys leave. We’re down to Sheamus/Hardy vs. Rollins/Theory/Balor with Sheamus charging into a boot in the corner. That’s enough for Rollins to dive over for the hot tag to Balor, who is quickly powerslammed for two.

Balor is back up with a Sling Blade but the Coup de Grace misses, setting up the Brogue Kick to give Sheamus the pin. Theory is right in for a heck of a dropkick and it’s Rollins coming back in for a chinlock. After a pretty good while, Sheamus powers up and brings Hardy in to clean house.

Everything breaks down with Sheamus playing Matt Hardy for a springboard splash to the other two in the corner. That’s enough for Sheamus and Hardy to hit stereo ten forearms to the chest, followed by White Noise to Rollins. Everything breaks down again and Rollins pulls Hardy off the apron, leaving Theory to roll Sheamus up for the elimination. That leaves us with Hardy vs. Rollins/Theory…but Sheamus decks Theory before he leaves….and then does it to Hardy too.

Rollins is fine enough to get the tag and hit a frog splash for two on Hardy as we settle in to the beating. Theory takes Hardy up top but gets knocked down, setting up the Swanton for the pin. Rollins isn’t happy and glares at Hardy, who grabs a rollup for two. A hard forearm to the back of the head gets two on Hardy but the Twist of Fate drops Rollins. The Swanton hits raised knees though and the Stomp gives Rollins the final pin at 29:55.

Rating: B. It was a fun, hard hitting match, but the Raw vs. Smackdown lineups continue to feel so worthless. They might as well do a Lethal Lottery format and you would get the same result. The good thing is that the talent is here and can make a match like this work, but the format desperately needs to change to make it more interesting.

Raw – 2
Smackdown – 1

WWE did some charity stuff in Harlem.

Vince McMahon arrived earlier and got a big reception from a bunch of the wrestlers. Then he pulled out a gold egg, because cross promotion.

Classic Rock Moment: recreating the Montreal Screwjob a year later at Survivor Series 1998.

Roman Reigns comes in to see Vince McMahon, who shows him the egg. That’s Cleopatra’s egg, which was given to him by the Rock. Apparently it’s worth $100 million dollars, which Reigns says is as much as his next contract. And that’s it.

The Rock 25th Anniversary Battle Royal

Shanky, Commander Azeez, T-Bar, Robert Roode, Angel, Humberto, Shelton Benjamin, Sami Zayn, R-Truth, Cedric Alexander, Montez Ford, Jinder Mahal, Dolph Ziggler, Cesaro, Otis, Mansoor, Drew Gulak, Erik, Chad Gable, Ivar, Apollo Crews, Omos, AJ Styles, Ricochet, Angelo Dawkins

The Street Profits come to the ring with a bunch of Pizza Hut. Nothing wrong with a sponsorship. Cole and Graves get pizza but Saxton is denied, as he should be. Styles bails to the floor and stands on the announcers’ table as everyone else fights for the smart move of the night. Gulak and Benjamin are out to start with Humberto following them. Truth heads outside to get some pizza, which he offers to Omos and Otis.

The latter takes it before throwing Truth out and going after Omos. Otis doesn’t last long and Gable armbars Cesaro over the rope. That’s broken up and Cesaro knocks Gable out and T-Bar is dropkicked to the floor by Ricochet. The fans want pizza but have to settle for Alexander and Garza being tossed out. There goes Erik and Ivar at the hands of Shanky, because the potential is in Shanky instead of the Viking Raiders. Omos gets rid of Shanky with ease and Roode catapults Mansoor out.

Roode and Ziggler go after Omos and the giant gets rid of Roode, leaving Styles to Phenomenal Forearm Ziggler for the elimination. Zayn tries to rally the remaining Smackdown names but yells at Ricochet, leaving Ford and Dawkins to toss him out. Omos gets rid of Azeez, who pulls Styles out despite Omos’ protests. Crews is out next and we’re down to Omos, Dawkins, Ford, Cesaro and Ricochet. Cesaro rallies the troops to go after Omos, earning himself an elimination. There go Dawkins and Ford, leaving us with Ricochet vs. Omos. That doesn’t last long either as Omos tosses him out for the win at 10:38.

Rating: C. This was ALL about Omos, who threw out about half of the field and dominated throughout. It worked for Andre and even if Omos isn’t quite there, it was a nice performance. Omos is someone who works well in this kind of a spot, even if this had absolutely NOTHING to do with the Rock.

Raw – 3
Smackdown – 1

Post match Styles goes for the pizza but Ford kicks him in the head and throws it into the crowd.

Classic Rock Moment: winning the 2000 Royal Rumble, even if Big Show really won.

We look at the pre-show match.

RKBro (Raw) vs. Usos (Smackdown)

Riddle starts fast with an armbar attempt on Jimmy but gets stacked up for two and the break. A headbutt just makes Riddle mad and he grabs a spinning gutwrench suplex to send Jey flying. Orton comes in and we hear about his hear in Ohio Valley Wrestling for a bit of a rarity. The threat of an RKO sends Jimmy bailing to the floor so it’s off to Jey, who stomps Orton down in the corner.

That just earns Jey a punch to the nose (simple, yet effective) and a trip to the floor, allowing Riddle to hit the springboard Floating Bro. A drop onto the barricade cuts Riddle off though and it’s back to Jimmy for the suicide dive. We slow things down a bit with Jey hammering away in the corner until Riddle manages a kick to the head. That’s way too soon for a hot tag to Orton though and Jimmy is back in with a chinlock.

Riddle fights up and manages a Bro To Sleep (which doesn’t make anything close to full contact), allowing Orton to come back in to clean house. Snap powerslams drop the Usos and Jey gets belly to back dropped onto the announcers’ table. Not to be outdone, Jimmy gets the same as McAfee is losing it even more than usual. Back in and the hanging DDT hits Jey but he’s fine enough to block the RKO.

Riddle is up again and kicks Jey in the head before nailing Jimmy with a running forearm. Jey manages to kick Riddle down for two and the pop up Samoan drop gets two. There’s a superkick to Riddle and a double superkick to Orton. The double superkick from either side gets two on Riddle, who kicks out and stays rigid for a weird moment. Riddle’s enziguri gets him out of trouble though and Orton gets a blind tag. Jimmy doesn’t notice though and his Superfly Splash is pulled into the RKO to give Orton the pin at 14:48.

Rating: B. Two of the best teams in WWE have a good match when they are given about fifteen minutes on a big stage. Sometimes these things write themselves and that was the case here, as Orton even managed to get in the cool RKO that he hits in these important matches. Another solid match on the show in what shouldn’t be a surprise at all. Now just do it again for the titles.

Raw – 4
Smackdown – 1

Classic Rock Moment: vs. John Cena at Wrestlemania XXVIII. I’d say that counts, though it’s still hard to believe Cena lost.

Sonya Deville and Adam Pearce wait for Vince McMahon in his office. Vince comes back…and the egg is gone. The middle management goons are sent to find out who did it, saying if they don’t find out tonight, Vince will find out himself on Raw.

Video on Xia Li, the Protector, in comic book form. Yeah this was too cool to work and it never went anywhere.

Raw Women vs. Smackdown Women

Raw: Bianca Belair, Rhea Ripley, Liv Morgan, Carmella, Queen Zelina
Smackdown: Sasha Banks, Shayna Baszler, Shotzi, Toni Storm, Natalya

Zelina is still a queen and Ripley is half of the Women’s Tag Team Titles with Nikki Ash, which mean a grand total of nothing (Zelina and Carmella would win them the next night on Raw). Toni Storm (as announced in a completely necessary tweet earlier in the day) starts with Carmella, who drops Storm with a right hand. Hold on though as Carmella hands it off to Zelina before heading outside to put on her protective mask. It takes forever to put the mask on so Carmella has Zelina do it, allowing Storm to grab a rollup for the pin.

Belair and Banks come in for a Wrestlemania rematch but Shotzi tags herself in. A quick backsplash gets two on Belair but she’s right back up to knock Shotzi silly. Belair’s jumping splash gets two so Morgan comes in for a middle rope….uh, something, and a near fall. Natalya comes in for two off a snap suplex and a pinfall reversal sequence gets some near falls each. The step over basement dropkick gives Natalya two more but it’s off to Ripley to freshen things up.

Natalya doesn’t seem to mind and brings Baszler in for a double suplex. The jumping stomp to Baszler’s arm is blocked though and the slugout is on. Ripley has to fight out of an armbar as well as the Kirifuda Clutch, allowing her to stomp on Baszler’s head. Shotzi saves Baszler from the Riptide though and everything breaks down. Ripley breaks out of another choke and it’s a double tag to give us Belair vs. Banks.

Belair tries the power but gets pulled straight into the Bank Statement. That’s broken up so Banks sends her face first into the middle buckle, setting up a tornado DDT for two on Belair. Back up and Zelina tags herself in so Belair launches her at Banks for two more. No one will tag Banks so she has to block Zelina’s Code Red. Banks tags herself in and flips Zelina over into a cutter for the pin. Morgan comes in for a pinfall reversal sequence of her own until Oblivion connects to get rid of Storm.

Baszler comes in to choke Morgan and even kicks Ripley off the apron to prevent a tag (that’s smart). It’s off to Shotzi for a weird looking splash, followed by Banks’ frog splash to eliminate Morgan. Ripley comes in and muscles Banks up for a delayed suplex and a near fall. A missile dropkick sends Banks flying into the corner but Shotzi comes in off a blind tag. Shotzi offers a distraction so Baszler can come in with a knee to the face to pin Ripley, leaving Belair vs. Natalya, Shotzi, Banks and Baszler.

Belair comes in and suplexes Natalya for two before firing off the shoulders in the corner. Baszler’s distraction lets Natalya hit a powerbomb out of the corner for two and it’s off to Banks. Shotzi gets into it with Banks and pulls her to the floor where Banks gets counted out to make it 3-1.

Natalya comes in and Sharpshooters Belair, who rolls Natalya into Baszler for the break. A rollup finishes Natalya to make it 2-1, with Baszler coming in next. The Kirifuda Clutch is countered into a release Glam Slam to get rid of Baszler and it’s Shotzi vs. Belair. Shotzi grabs a choke in the corner and a faceplant drops Belair again. The running hip attack in the ropes gets two on Belair, who sends Shotzi into the corner and hits the KOD for the pin/win at 23:46.

Rating: C-. Well that was ridiculous. The last five minutes of this was Belair doing her best Super Cena impression, as she ran through three people on her own (four if you count getting rid of Banks). The match wasn’t anything special otherwise, as the Belair vs. Banks segment was the only thing worth seeing. This felt long until the ending, when it became one head shaking moment after another. Storm was trying and got a bit of a run, but this was all about making Belair look strong and to say they went overboard would be an understatement.

Raw – 5
Smackdown – 1

Classic Rock Moment: The Rock is at the first Smackdown on FOX and rips on Baron Corbin/hangs out with Becky Lynch.

Paul Heyman knows nothing about the missing egg but thinks those people from BROOKLYN might have had something to do with it. That’s not what he is being asked about though: what about Brock Lesnar’s suspension being lifted soon? Uh, Heyman doesn’t want to talk about that either.

Video on Bobby Lashley.

We recap Roman Reigns vs. Big E. Last month, Big E. cashed in Money In The Bank to become the new Raw World Champion. The New Day celebrated because they’re a brotherhood, but Reigns said they were no Bloodline. Reigns broke Woods’ King Of The Ring crown and now it’s time for a clash between World Champions.

Big E. (Raw) vs. Roman Reigns (Smackdown)

Paul Heyman is here too as we hear about their time together in FCW. They fight over a lockup to start with neither getting anywhere, meaning it’s off to another staredown. Big E. shoves him a bit and Reigns bails to the floor, where Heyman lists off some Anoa’i family members at the table. Back in and Reigns hits the jumping clothesline for two before stomping away rather hard.

An elbow drops Reigns and Big E. gets to talk a bit of trash to set up the missed apron splash. Big E. comes up favoring his knee and you know Reigns is happy with that. Back in and the chinlock goes on for a bit until Big E. powers up for the break. You don’t do that to Reigns, who boots Big E. down for two more. Big E. is sent outside again as Reigns is getting frustrated and growling at the crowd. A reversed whip into the steps puts Reigns in trouble for a change and some belly to bellies make it worse back inside.

The Warrior Splash connects but Big E. charges into a Samoan drop for two. Reigns fires off the corner clotheslines until Big E. Rock Bottoms him out of said corner for two of his own. The Stretch Muffler has Reigns in trouble so he powers up into a sitout powerbomb to rock Big E. again. A Rock Bottom gets two more as they’re sticking with the big shots here. Two Superman Punches only keep Big E. down for a few seconds so Reigns hits a third…but Big E. is back up before the spear can even launch.

Reigns is sent to the apron for the spear out to the floor but comes right back in with his own spear (minus through the ropes) for a rather near fall. They take their time getting up, with Reigns talking about how Big E. doesn’t deserve to be here. The guillotine is broken up but Big E. tries another spear through the ropes and gets caught in the choke. Reigns gets it on again back inside, only to muscle Reigns up into the Big Ending for two.

They head outside again, with Big E. fired up this time as he sends Reigns face first into the announcers’ table. A posting and ram into the barricade have Reigns in more trouble but he’s fine enough to send Big E. knees first into the steps. A Superman Punch off the steps lets Reigns kick the knee out and hit a spear for the pin at 21:56.

Rating: B. It took some time to get going and could have had a few minutes cut out, but this was a heck of a fight. The problem here though was there was no reason to believe Reigns would lose. Big E. is great, but winning the title via Money in the Bank makes him feel a step beneath Reigns, in addition to the fact that Reigns already feels like a bigger star than anyone else at the moment. Big E. was trying here, but you know Reigns getting pinned is going to be a huge moment, not something in a stand alone show like this one.

Raw – 5
Smackdown – 2

Overall Rating: B-. This show is going to depend on how you look at it. While the wrestling was mostly good, with the main event and men’s Survivor Series match carrying it, the biggest problem is NOTHING HAPPENED. Raw dominated the head to head competition and there was nothing on here that I felt like I needed to see. Reigns is still the unstoppable force and whoever got the red shirts this year had a strong night. What else is there to say about the wrestling with non-existent stakes?

Then you have everything else and it was just sad. The Rock obsession was cool and made sense, but without him actually having anything to do with the show the impact kind of falls apart. I know he’s busy, but if he isn’t going to be there, maybe don’t focus on him so much. The egg stuff was stupid, though I can’t fault WWE for trying to make money and it was relatively short.

Overall, as has been the case for a long time, there was enough good to pretty good action to make the show a decent watch, but there is absolutely nothing from a storyline perspective. The Battle For Brand Supremacy stuff worked for a few years but now WWE has given up on it meaning anything, so why should I care about what they’re doing? Good enough show, but totally unimportant.

Ratings Comparison

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Damian Priest

Original: C+
Redo: C

Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte

Original: B+
Redo: B+

Raw Men vs. Smackdown Men

Original: B-
Redo: B

Battle Royal

Original: C
Redo: C

Usos vs. RKBro

Original: C+
Redo: B

Smackdown Women vs. Raw Women

Original: C-
Redo: C-

Big E. vs. Roman Reigns

Original: B
Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B-
Redo: B-

Oh yeah this is about as similar as it gets.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.