NXT
Date: April 18, 2012
Location: 02 Arena, London, England
Commentators: William Regal, Josh Matthews

We’re in Regal country tonight and after a good show last week, hopefully this time things pick up even more. We’ve had some stories on the show lately and they’ve been done well with the long backstage segments. For the first time in a long time I’m actually looking forward to this show. Let’s get to it.

The opening video now has a recap which is the exact same format of Glee. I think that’s Bateman narrating. It covers the whole Stolen Striker story. This even has the bell and the title in lower case letters.

Percy Watson vs. Johnny Curtis

Regal gives us a quick story about hang gliding without any clothes on and being in jail for two days, getting here just in time. The announcers are talking about Glee now as Maxine sits in on commentary. Watson hits a leg lariat for a quick two. Maxine blames Curtis for being the mastermind for the whole Striker caper. There’s no relationship between Curtis and Maxine. Curtis makes his comeback but walks into an armdrag.

That gets Watson nowhere so it’s right back to Curtis choking away. The majority of this match is about Maxine and the plot which she denies connection to, meaning the camera is on her for most of the time as well. Regal talks about going to the Himalayas and how they can pick up a mountain gazelle for its hair and how it was made into something he’s wearing today. That’s a bigger lie than anything Maxine has said today.

Curtis hooks a chinlock as this is getting more time than it probably should given the guys that are in there. A jawbreaker gets Watson out of the hold and he speeds things up. A dropkick puts Curtis down as does the jumping clothesline. Heisman gets two and the Persecution gets the pin at 8:19.

Rating: C-. I’m really hoping this commentary with Maxine/Regal is leading to SOMETHING with Watson as he’s having the same match every week and there’s nothing coming out of it that I can see. Watson is athletic but he needs some reason for us to care about him which he doesn’t have at all right now.

Post match Regal calls Curtis to the back. Curtis has to sit in on commentary with Regal during Maxine’s match, which is next.

Maxine vs. Kaitlyn

Kaitlyn has new music. She grabs two quick rollups for two and a backbreaker for the same. Maxine comes back with a neck crank and some chest slaps. Curtis talks about playing as Regal in WCW/NWO Revenge which is a cool thing to hear. Kaitlyn breaks out of it and hits a cross body for two. Maxine sends her into the buckle and a dragon sleeper with a body scissors gets the submission at 3:33.

Rating: D+. They look good and that’s about it. Maxine is one of the few Divas with an actual personality and it helps her a lot. That and she’s not just another blonde. The match was nothing that good but it was better than most of the 40 second matches that I’ve gotten used to lately from the girls.

Post match Regal says he doesn’t believe either of them about Striker, so Maxine is required to be his manager or they’re fired. He has a contract to make it official. They go to sign it and Regal handcuffs them together. That’s from the arrest story he told to start the show.

Titus and Young are in the back and…..THEY’RE GOING TO SMACKDOWN???? AS IN PEOPLE ARE LEAVING THE SHOW???? SOMETHING IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING ON THIS SHOW??? They do a stupid dance.

Striker is looking in a mirror and has Hawkins’ cane. There’s a showdown tonight.

Raw ReBound is about Punk vs. Jericho.

Reks and Hawkins are yelling at each other in the back and say they’re done. Maxine and Curtis come in and yell at each other as well because they’re stuck together. Watson comes up and laughs at them. Bateman comes up and finds it hilarious. Kaitlyn thinks Maxine should be used to handcuffs. Comedy ensues.

Here are Hawkins and Reks who say that Regal doctored the footage which said it was them that kidnapped Striker. Striker pops up and says that he’s not 6’3 and 300lbs but he’s been accepted. He calls the two guys chavs which will make sense if you’re from England but the name fits. Striker talks about being chloroformed and beaten. The people don’t believe the lies and everyone knows it was them. Hawkins says so what so Striker swings the cane at both of them. Regal stops them and says right now it’s Reks vs. Hawkins, loser gets fired.

Curt Hawkins vs. Tyler Reks

Oh and Striker is guest referee. He just happened to be wearing a referee shirt under his jacket. Reks says they’re friends but in the middle of it Hawkins decks him. We take a break with Hawkins on the floor. The bell rings when we come back and Hawkins is sent to the floor again. Reks pounds on him as Regal talks about throwing a ferret in a bucket with a rat. Reks misses a top rope shoulder and Hawkins takes control.

Off to a chinlock as the fans make Reks the face by default. A kind of suplex gets two and Hawkins guillotines him on the top rope. He spends too much time yelling at the people though and Reks hits a pescado to take him out. Downward Spiral gets two in the ring for Tyler. Hawkins tries what looked to be a suplex of some sort but Reks gets behind him and a rollup pins Hawkins at 5:30.

Rating: D+. I’m glad one of them is gone as this isn’t an interesting pairing at all. The heel team of them didn’t work either and I don’t know of a single instance where I cared about these two at all. Not a good match either although Hawkins isn’t terrible I guess. At least the match was short though. Striker didn’t mean anything at all in this match.

Striker punches Hawkins post match.

Regal fires Reks post match as well because he wants to.

Overall Rating: C. Hokey smoke FOUR PEOPLE left the show tonight. Considering there hasn’t been anyone gone in months, this is catching up for lost time to say the least. I’m very glad that they’re actually changing some things for once as now the only rookie left is Bateman, assuming Titus and Young don’t stick around anyway. I can’t imagine them hanging out on Smackdown that much, but at least we might get some fresh blood here. That’s a huge step in the right direction for this show and that’s a good thing.

Results
Percy Watson b. Johnny Curtis – Persecution
Maxine b. Kaitlyn – Dragon Sleeper
Tyler Reks b. Curt Hawkins – Rollup

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Results

Percy Watson b. Johnny Curtis – Persecution

Maxine b. Kaitlyn – Dragon Sleeper

Tyler Reks b. Curt Hawkins – Rollup

NXT
Date: April 11, 2012
Location: Hampton Coliseum, Hampton, Virginia
Commentators: William Regal, Josh Matthews

It’s that time of the week again. After last week’s disappointing ending to the Who Stole Striker story, it’s time for more Regal vs. Hawkins/Reks, because that hasn’t been done to death yet around here. We’ll also see Maxine trying to get her hooks into Regal, which is probably an idea they came up with in FCW and are using here. Let’s get to it.

Percy Watson vs. Johnny Curtis

Maxine comes out with Curtis and Watson isn’t pleased. He thought they weren’t together anymore but Regal cuts off his complaints and tells Maxine to stay away from the ring. Maxine sits next to Regal and he can’t speak as well all of a sudden. Watson speeds things up after a slow start with a one footed dropkick where he lands on his feet. That was pretty cool. They fight over a top wristlock and Watson takes over with an atomic drop and a legdrop for two.

Maxine is whispering into Regal’s ear as Curtis takes over with right hands. He sends Percy’s shoulder into the corner and out to the floor as we take a break. Regal is now off commentary and talking to Maxine. Curtis controls with a wristlock but Watson comes back and rams some shoulders into Curtis’ ribs. Regal is frustrated that he isn’t focused on his job as Curtis hits a cool move by dropping a leg on the arm of a standing Watson for two.

Back to the arm hold and Watson can’t break out of it. Elbow to the arm gets two. Josh doesn’t seem to get what’s wrong with Regal. Regal tries to focus and talks about Curtis a bit but still isn’t all there. I’d assume this is connected to whatever the list of stuff Regal is into that Maxine and Curtis were supposed to get their hands on last week or the week before. Watson starts his comeback with his usual strikes and the dropkicks as Regal leaves with Maxine. Belly to belly puts Curtis down and Watson is distracted by Regal leaving, allowing Curtis to roll him up for the pin at 8:13.

Rating: C-. This was ok but Curtis is just such an uninteresting character, as is Watson. Watson’s character basically is that he’s an athlete while Curtis is weird. The weird part is fine when he’s talking, but in the ring it doesn’t really do anything at all. The match was more about Regal and Maxine, which is ok because it gives us some intrigue. He looked distracted when they left so something is up.

Hawkins and Reks talk to Maxine in the back who is minus Regal now. She talks to them and asks if they did that thing. Reks isn’t sure what they she means but apparently Regal is going to be talking to them soon. She doesn’t get Striker back until they know she didn’t screw them over. Why does she want Striker back? They leave and Maxine pretends to cry when Bateman and Kaitlyn pop up. Maxine cries on Bateman’s shoulder and asks for help with Reks/Hawkins. He says he’ll do it because she’s the worst thing that ever happened to him. He and Kaitlyn leave and Maxine smiles. This is a confusing story.

Tamina comes out of a dressing room and runs into Titus. She yells at him for leaving Young last week but Titus has a peace offering: a coconut tree. She seems legitimately pleased and kisses him on the cheek. Tamina walks off and runs into Young who doesn’t seem happy with Titus giving her a gift. Young walks up to Titus and Titus says he was just proving he was better than Young again. Titus leaves and Young is mad.

Back to Kaitlyn and Bateman with the one with better legs saying that she misses the old days of NXT. Bateman disagrees but they hear screams from a closet. They open it up to find Striker bound and gagged holding Hawkins’ cane. Bateman wants to get him to the doctor but Striker says he’ll handle this. He leaves while Bateman and Kaitlyn shrug.

Raw ReBound is about Cena and Lesnar.

Regal comes up to Reks and Hawkins, saying he’s underestimated them. He squeezes their necks and wants to know where Striker is. They don’t know and Regal says if anything is wrong with Striker, there will be serious consequences. Regal leaves and they go to find Striker. They open the closet and find that he’s gone. Are we supposed to believe that a guy that was kidnapped in whatever city has been in the same closet for a month now? Anyway Maxine comes with Curtis to laugh at them.

Michael McGillicutty vs. Tyson Kidd

Regal is back on commentary and is all messed up still. We get a quick recap which is based around Kidd not being a Hart and this is the rubber match in the feud. Regal seems back into it once the bell rings. Kidd works on the arm to start and arm drags him to a stalemate. He keeps making McGillicutty miss by using his speed, including sliding between his legs to clothesline him to the floor. Kidd dives over the top but crotches himself on the ring skirt. McGillicutty sends him onto the announce table as we take a break.

Back with McGillicutty holding a chinlock as Regal talks about leopards. Kidd gets up quickly but a shot to the back of the head puts him right back down. As he did earlier, Kidd speeds things up and has better success. An armdrag puts McGillicutty down and then fires off the strikes. A dropkick to the side of the head gets two. A Sharpshooter is countered but Kidd comes back with a Blockbuster for two. I could go for seeing that move becoming someone’s finisher again. Kidd kicks him in the head and tries his springboard cross body but Michael dropkicks him out of the air for two.

McGillicutter is countered into a backslide for two. Saito Suplex puts Kidd down and McGillicutty hooks a Sharpshooter on Kidd. Tyson makes the rope so McGillicutty tries the PerfectPlex, which should have been his finisher since the day he debuted. Kidd reverses it though and sets for the Sharpshooter. Instead of that though, he puts his foot above McGillicutty’s shoulder and leans forward, wrapping his feet around Michael’s head and pulling back on his arm as he leans back. It’s like a triangle choke but with their legs intertwined and it gets the tap out at 9:24.

Rating: B. This was an entertaining match with a cool finish as Kidd goes up a level to beat McGillicutty. Regal talks about Kidd doing submission training with Bret every day off he has which plays into this as well. This was a very solid ending to this feud and hopefully Kidd can get actual TV time soon instead of being the best wrestler on NXT.

Overall Rating: C+. I certainly got my wish about this show: Tonight’s episode was certainly not boring. I’m not completely sure it made sense, but it definitely was not boring. However, we got a very good main event (by NXT standards) and some plot twists that have me wondering what’s coming next. That alone is good enough to make this a good show and I’m curious as to where this is going.

Results
Johnny Curtis b. Percy Watson – Rollup
Tyson Kidd b. Michael McGillicutty – Leg Trap Triangle Choke

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NXT
Date: March 21, 2012
Location: Prudential Center, Newark, New Jersey
Commentators: William Regal, Josh Matthews

Back to NXT Land with another episode. I barely remember anything about last week’s show and that can’t be a good sign. I believe Kaitlyn and Bateman finally hooked up, much to Maxine’s dismay. I’ve basically given up on the idea of Regal doing anything to change the show around, putting the GM change into the column that most of this show would fall under: totally pointless. Let’s get to it.

The opening video that they’ve added the last few weeks is actually pretty good.

Striker is in the ring to open the show and talks about how Regal has made four matches with McGillicutty vs. Kidd capping it off.

Curt Hawkins vs. Justin Gabriel

Justin chops him into the corner to start but misses what looked to be a springboard clothesline. Hawkins takes over after the crash, getting two off a slam. Off to a chinlock which implies this is going to be a very short match. Justin comes back with a jumping back kick off the middle rope, setting up a quick 450 for the pin at 2:23. Not a bad match and not quite a squash, but if Hawkins is going to be one of the top heels on this show he really needs to be fixed up a lot.

Bateman and Kaitlyn hold hands are in the back and are all happy. Tamina comes up to talk about how termites mate for life. She wants to find her termite. Bateman and Kaitlyn leave so Young and Titus come up to hit on her. They make fun of the Usos and Darren starts to ask her out. The Usos come up and Tamina isn’t happy with them I don’t think. So JTG is just gone I’m guessing? I can’t complain about that. There’s a singles match later and the Usos leave her with the two of them.

Darren Young vs. Jimmy Uso

Jey sits in on commentary. Jimmy starts off with chops in the corner and knocks Young to the floor. Back inside and they slug it out and Jimmy is sent to the floor. Jey really isn’t that great on commentary. We take a break with Jimmy on the floor and come back with Young pounding away from a mounted position. Jimmy manages to send him into the corner but he charges into two boots. Regal talks about his brother being in the biology department at Oxford University. Apparently he’s in a jar and has two heads.

Off to a chinlock by Young as the fans are behind the Usos. The fans always seem to react to them, unlike the tag champions where no one seems to care. That being said, I’d be stunned if the Usos get a title run in the next four months. Jimmy makes his comeback and takes Young down out of the corner. Jey gets off commentary to lead cheers. Jimmy comes back with a Samoan drop and some dancing, followed by the Umaga hip attack in the corner for two. He goes up but Darren gets in some forearms and rams Jimmy shoulder first into the post. The double knee gutbuster gets the pin at 6:25.

Rating: C. This was ok, but as usual the problem with Young is how boring he is. The No Days Off sounds like something a face would call himself. Wouldn’t a heel be about finding a shortcut to winning instead of working hard? Either way, nothing significant to see here other than the Usos losing again to people far less interesting than them.

Titus brags to Tamina in the back.

Josh Matthews gets a message on his phone that his car has been stolen and goes to look into it.

We cut to the back where Curtis and Maxine talk about how they faked the message in an effort to get Matthews off commentary, so that Maxine can get on commentary with Regal and talk her way off this show. Insert your THIS IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF A CAMERA line here. Curtis pulls out a chloroform soaked rag (Maxine: WHY DO YOU HAVE CHLOROFORM??? Curtis: Why don’t I have chloroform?) and knocks out…..Striker. They throw him in a crate and Maxine seems ok with it. Fox comes up after Maxine leaves and is disgusted by Curtis in a totally pointless scene.

Here’s Maxine coming out for commentary. She comes out with a box of gifts: oils and lotions etc.

Percy Watson vs. Tyler Reks

Maxine is flirting with Regal and probably will be for the rest of the show. Watson tries to get the crowd clapping and it works for about three seconds. Maxine is massaging Regal’s feet as Watson takes over and sends Reks to the floor. Reks yells at Watson as Watson dives over the top to take out Reks. We take a break to tell you to check out WWE’s new website which you have to be on if you’re watching this show in America, and come back with Reks in control.

Regal talks about I think his brother being a professional doughnut stealer. Reks works over the arm and Regal compliments Maxine on her foot massaging abilities. Watson comes back by ramming Reks into the corner. Maxine is rubbing Regal’s scalp as Watson hits a dropkick. Heisman gets two. A top rope cross body is rolled through for two for Reks. Persecution ends this at 6:24.

Rating: D+. I wasn’t into this one and again it’s the lack of any reason to care about Watson or Reks. Reks is a boring heel and Watson is a face that we have no real reason to care about. Both guys are ok in the ring but there’s nothing that makes me want to care about them. I wonder if they’re hoping that it’s just because they’re on NXT and the fans (all 15 of them) would be familiar with them and care about them. I’ve never missed an episode and it isn’t working for me.

Matthews is back on commentary.

Raw ReBound thankfully doesn’t recap the whole closing segment of Raw. I couldn’t sit through that again.

Curtis opens the crate in the back but Striker is gone. Maxine comes up and says let him out but Curtis won’t let her open it. Maxine: “You killed him didn’t you?” He opens the crate and there’s a note saying “we know what you did, we have Striker, we’ll come to you with demands.” Bateman and Kaitlyn pop up and Maxine accuses them of having something to do with it. They leave and Maxine knocks him into the crate. So we have someone using chloroform and an apparent kidnapping. Do the words CALL THE COPS mean anything around here?

We recap McGillicutty vs. Kidd which is being treated like a huge match. It wasn’t that great of a match in the first place but for NXT, this is a well built feud. McGillicutty beat him, Kidd wanted a rematch, McGillicutty said no, they yelled at each other and McGillicutty said yes.

Michael McGillicutty vs. Tyson Kidd

Kidd starts off with two dropkicks and headscissors McGillicutty to the floor. He hits a slow motion rana to send McGillicutty into the barricade and we take a break. Back in the ring with McGillicutty ducking his head so Kidd can break the momentum with a kick. Kidd misses a charge though and crashes into the ropes and out to the floor. McGillicutty rams him into the table which gets two in the ring.

Off to a chinlock as Regal says these two will be huge stars over the next twenty years. Kidd grabs a quick rollup for two but a clothesline takes him right back down. McGillicutty shouts that Kidd isn’t a Hart and it’s off to a chinlock again. Kidd comes back with some kicks and a dropkick to the side of the head for two. A dropkick to the ribs puts McGillicutty into 619 position but on the bottom rope.

Kidd hits a slingshot legdrop to the back of McGillicutty’s head for two. Michael comes back with a Saito Suplex for two and Kidd is in trouble. Kidd tries an O’Connor Roll but it gets reversed for two. McGillicutty reverses the reversal into a rollup for two. Kidd takes Snake Eyes into the corner but avoids the McGillicutter. Sharpshooter is countered as Kidd is kicked to the apron but he comes back in with a slingshot reverse victory roll (best way I can describe it) for the pin at 8:17.

Rating: B-. Good match and I get that they’re going for a big showdown here, but at the same time it wasn’t able to reach the level they were going for. A big part of that is due to McGillicutty not being all that great, and the build to the rematch being pretty rushed. Also, the first match wasn’t anything incredible so I don’t think people were really begging for a rematch.

McGillicutty says Kidd is going to regret that and he’ll go after Kidd where it hurts the most: his heart.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a more interesting show than usual and I think a lot of that is due to the focus being off Bateman. He had more or less been the star of the show for awhile and that wasn’t doing anything for anyone. An actual story with Striker being kidnapped is interesting at least, although it’ll probably wind up being disappointed. That and some pretty good matches made this a good show.

Results
Justin Gabriel b. Curt Hawkins – 450 Splash
Darren Young b. Jimmy Uso – Double Knee Gutbuster
Percy Watson b. Tyler Reks – Persecution
Tyson Kidd b. Michael McGillicutty – Slingshot Rollup

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NXT
Date: March 7, 2012
Location: Mohegan Sun Casion, Uncasville, Connecticut
Commentators: Josh Matthews, William Regal

This is the real anniversary show as the season debuted on March 8, but as you know something like counting eludes WWE. Anyway, Regal is now in charge as the boss and Striker will continue on as host. The only confirmed match is Titus vs. Watson, which is a match we’ve seen and means that another character’s story is going around in circles. Let’s get to it.

We open with Striker in the ring to remind us that Regal has chosen the matches tonight. Regal gets in the ring to talk about tonight’s show. He confirms the main event we already knew and here’s Maxine. She keeps flirting with him and says she’s looking forward to working underneath him. However Teddy makes Aksana vs….oh sorry wrong show. Anyway it’s Maxine vs. Tamina next.

Maxine vs. Tamina Snuka

Maxine grabs what appears to be an octopus hold but Tamina drops back into a rollup. Tamina chases Maxine to the floor as Josh quotes Spider-Man. Regal goes into another long rant/song/poem that I don’t recognize. He got stuck halfway through it which is understandable. Anyway, Maxine misses a charge and the Samoan Drop sets up the Superfly Splash for the pin at 3:00. Usual Divas match but a bit longer and not as annoying.

Here are Hawkins and Reks with something to say. Hawkins says he should have been made in charge of NXT but it’s Regal instead. Reks says that Regal hasn’t done anything and since he can’t get it done in the ring anymore (just like Striker), they run their mouths and make matches. Regal says if they want to get back in the ring next week, he’s got a job for them. He pulls out some brooms and says that after how they’ve treated the roster, they’ll be whatever Regal wants them to be. Either do it, or they won’t be getting matches. The fans chant at him to do the job. Hasn’t he been doing that for years?

Yoshi Tatsu vs. Johnny Curtis

Yoshi sends him to the floor to start and we take a break with Curtis down on the outside. Back with Yoshi controlling in the ring. They go to the mat and Curtis takes over on the arm. Back up and Curtis suplexes him for two. Josh thinks Maxine likes Regal, because most people in this company don’t get women that are evil anymore. They slug it out to give Curtis a small advantage, but Yoshi avoids a charge and chops away. A hard kick to the chest gets two. A big kick misses and Curtis rams Yoshi’s arm into the buckle. They go to the corner where nothing happens, so Curtis hits a Falcon’s Arrow for the pin at 6:17.

Rating: C-. Not a bad match but Curtis continues to reach new levels of uninteresting. Regal graded Curtis’ performance as an A. I’m not sure I’d agree with that, as Curtis isn’t anything of note in the ring or on the mic. Naturally that makes him perfect to keep on TV right?

Speaking of things that aren’t perfect, McGillicutty is looking at the tape of his win over Kidd last week with Striker. He’s watched it multiple times and Kidd comes up. Kidd has been tweeting his rematch requests and tells McGillicutty to man up. Michael goes after him but takes a knee to the ribs to stop him.

Curtis rubs lotion on himself when Maxine comes up. She says she hates him but play along. Maxine kisses his ear when Bateman comes in. He wants to know where Kaitlyn is but they won’t tell him. There’s a mixed tag next week. Bateman is left alone when Curtis/Reks come up. Bateman leaves so Percy comes up to make unfunny janitor jokes.

Raw ReBound.

Jey Uso vs. Darren Young

All hail the new regime? Jimmy sits in on commentary. Jey controls early on but Young takes over with a powerslam. Backbreaker sets up the slingshot into the bottom rope for two. There’s a body scissors and then Young really gets the crowd going with a reverse chinlock. Jimmy talks about how Samoans love to eat because it’s how their culture celebrates. Regal wants to know if it winds up being a big Samoan fight and of course it does. See, FINALLY someone gets their racial stereotypes right. Jey makes his comeback but the running hip attack misses and Young rolls him up for the pin at 4:41.

Rating: D+. I would love an explanation from a higher up in the WWE as to what they see in Darren Young. There’s nothing about him that makes me want to watch him. His matches aren’t anything of note, his talking basically consists of the same thing 80% of heels say today, and his look is nothing we haven’t seen on a bunch of others. I don’t get it at all.

Percy Watson vs. Titus O’Neil

Percy speeds things up to start but he tries to jump over Titus in the corner but lands on a boot. Titus yells about how he knows the rules and controls with power. Off to an abdominal stretch and then a chinlock. Watson makes his comeback with his usual stuff. The dropkick and backdrop set up the Heisman for two. Clash of the Titus is countered into the Persecution for the pin at 5:13.

Rating: D+. As you could say with all of the matches tonight, it’s not bad but who cares? Josh certainly didn’t. This is the first loss for Titus since his change in attitude and Josh sounded like he was watching an old rerun of Cheers. This is another feud that has lost whatever story it had, so why should I care?

Hawkins and Reks clear the ring and tell Regal that they’re just getting started. Regal is mad to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. How foolish I was to think that something was actually going to change on this show. Regal has done nothing but take the place of Striker. We still have the same boring stories and nothing ever changes. Would a big named guest star once in awhile kill them? They have a huge roster and it wouldn’t hurt to have someone pop in, say they’re fans of NXT and have a match would it? Apparently so, because this show is the ugly step child of WWE. Another bad show, which I really should have expected.

Results
Tamina Snuka b. Maxine – Superfly Splash
Johnny Curtis b. Yoshi Tatsu – Falcon’s Arrow
Darren Young b. Jey Uso – Rollup
Percy Watson b. Titus O’Neil – Persecution

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NXT
Date: February 29, 2012
Location: Key Arena, Seattle, Washington
Commentators: Josh Matthews, William Regal

It’s the one year anniversary show, despite the season not being on the air for a year yet but again, counting is probably too complicated for WWE. Striker has promised us a major announcement tonight which probably won’t wind up meaning much of anything because this is NXT, the land of crushed and broken dreams. Let’s get to it.

Alex Riley/Percy Watson vs. Darren Young/Titus O’Neil

Titus starts with Riley and the beating begins. Riley gets in a dropkick and it’s off to Young. Alex takes him down but goes up and is kicked down to give Young the advantage. Things slow down a lot with Titus taking over and saying that he has five. Riley tries to dive for a tag but Titus carries him back to the corner to bring in Young again.

Atomic drop gets two and it’s off to a chinlock with a body scissors. Riley manages to get a kick into the face of a bent over Young and tags in Watson. Watson speeds things up and hits the Heisman Splash for two. Watson goes after Titus though and walks into the double knee gutbuster from Young for the pin at 5:46.

Rating: D+. Technically this was fine but this feud has been going on forever. While they’ve done a good job of having it evolve over the months with logical step after logical step, it’s still not an interesting feud. Again, this would be so much better if they had something to fight for other than just pride.

Titus says Percy gets his rematch next week.

Back from a break and we have Alicia, Kaitlyn and Justin Gabriel in the ring in chairs. It’s supposed to be Bateman vs. Slater at this point. Apparently this is an intervention. Oh dear. They’re intervening about 5’5 of pure evil. Bateman: “You mean Trent Barretta?” They talk about how crazy Maxine is and how she beats up random rew members and makes everyone miserable. Kaitlyn set this up. This is being booed out of the building.

We get a highlight package of Maxine and Bateman’s relationship, including the whole engagement and the Johnny Curtis stuff. Bateman says she’s a lot better at home and he doesn’t want to die alone. Kaitlyn says that constantly getting slapped in the face is weird, not love. He asks Kaitlyn what love is then, so she bends him back and kisses him. Maxine runs out and gets in a fight with Kaitlyn which is quickly broken up. Maxine beats on Bateman and the girls are in the main event tonight.

Tyson and Natalya run into each other in the back. McGillicutty comes up and says something smells around here but it’s not Natalya. They’re up next.

Michael McGillicutty vs. Tyson Kidd

They go tot he mat and Michael controls with a quick headlock. Regal talks about Tiger Mask as Tyson hooks a hammerlock. Michael works on the wrist but Kidd reverses into a cradle for two. McGillicutty sends him into the corner and out to the floor for the first big advantage. Off to a chinlock with McGillicutty having a way too excited look on his face. Back up and Kidd gets up a boot in the corner and they clothesline each other.

Kidd starts firing off some hard strikes and a jumping spin kick gets two. Rolling cradle gets two. Kidd goes up but gets crotched. He knocks McGillicutty off and hits a moonsault press for two. Kidd loads up the Sharpshooter but McGillicutty kicks him away and the McGillicutter gets the pin at 6:22. McGillicutty’s face looks like it belongs in a Will Ferrell movie.

Rating: C. Why did that just happen? They’ve been pushing Kidd very strong the last few weeks and now he loses clean to Michael McGillicutty? For what? Was Kidd getting too over or something? I really don’t get this, especially after the last few weeks where they’ve had Kidd being Bret-esque with the Sharpshooter combinations. Then again it’s NXT so it’s not like anyone is paying attention.

Raw ReBound is about Rock and Cena of course.

Maxine is freaking out in the back and runs into Aksana. Maxine says everyone is plotting against her and she thinks even Aksana is in on it. Anyone that crosses Maxine will regret it.

Striker is in the ring for his major announcement, drawing a Regal chant. He talks about all the ring announcers and commentators and the thirty new superstars they’ve added. He does know that NXT has been around two years and that this season has been a year right? However there’s only been one host. He’s got this job because he loves this stuff. NXT was supposed to be about exposing the unseen because the guys in that locker room are carrying the business into the future. Yep the business is dead.

Anyway, lately NXT has been missing its point and that’s because of Striker. Tonight that changes….and here are Hawkins and Reks to interrupt. They have a surprise for Striker and they pull out chairs and drinks because they want to see this. Striker finally yells at Curt to shut up. He tells Hawkins to come try him if he wants to. Someone with veteran experience needs to take over. Someone that has worked his entire career so that Curt Hawkins and Tyler Reks can be called wrestlers. Striker will still be host but the matchmaker is now Sir William Regal.

Regal gets in the ring and says that there are going to be some new people coming to NXT to face Hawkins and Reks. As for them, why are they wearing sunglasses inside? This is the beginning of the new NXT and their first surprise is next week.

Kaitlyn vs. Maxine

Bateman and Curtis are on commentary for this. Curtis rubs lotion on his chest. He says that Maxine is in his back pocket for whenever he wants to pull her out. Brawl to start and Regal says he’s very open to bribes. Kaitlyn books a body scissors for a bit but Maxine takes over with basic stuff. A running double ax gets two. Maxine beats on her a little more until Kaitlyn hits a Bubba Bomb and a rollup for the pin at 3:21.

Rating: D. As usual this was boring. These girls hate each other but always have coherent wrestling matches instead of wild brawls. That’s one of those wrestling things I’ve never quite gotten. Anyway, dull match and the ending came out of nowhere. It is nice to see something other than a mat slam of some sort for a new finisher though.

Maxine gets in Regal’s face and says she looks forward to working closely with him.

Overall Rating: C-. I wasn’t all that thrilled with this show but it wasn’t terrible. Regal taking over could be a good thing but if he just does the same things Striker did, this isn’t going anywhere. I’ve been saying it for months but this show is desperately in need of some fresh blood or at least some fresh faces. Also, end the whole Bateman/Curtis/Maxine stuff. It’s been going on for months now and it’s still going around in circles. Not a bad show tonight but this glimmer of hope needs to go somewhere.

Results
Darren Young/Titus O’Neil b. Alex Riley/Percy Watson – Double Knee Gutbuster To Watson
Michael McGillicutty b. Tyson Kidd – McGillicutter
Kaitlyn b. Maxine – Bubba Bomb

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Clash of the Champions #28
Date: August 28, 1994
Location: Five Seasons Center, Cedar Rapids, Iowa
Attendance: 4,200
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

We continue our march through the final Clashes with the final one I have to go chronologically. The main event here is what else: Hogan vs. Flair for the title. Hogan had come in back during the summer and everything they had going had been thrown out for the sake of pushing Hogan (and his friends soon after) to the freaking moon. Also for no apparent reason, Antonio Inoki is on the card here. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video from Bash at the Beach where Hogan won the title in his first match. Heenan: “Tell me it’s a nightmare!”

The opening video is all Hogan vs. Flair and it’s one of those weird remixes where they say a word like five times in a row before continuing the sentence. Flair has a surprise tonight.

Austin and Steamboat are arguing in the back. Call the Hotline to see why! I’m not kidding: that’s what they say.

Here’s the National Anthem. The guy gets the words wrong. He’s a country singer because that’s all WCW knows about.

Nasty Boys vs. Pretty Wonderful

Pretty Wonderful are tag champions and Orndorff/Roma. This is non-title though. This is a grudge match as a result of a big brawl where Pretty Wonderful hit Knobbs with a crutch. Pretty Wonderful stalls and the fans like the Nasties a lot better. Tony says a lot of big stars aren’t here tonight for some reason. Gee that makes me want to watch more of this show. Brian and Paul start but it’s off to Sags quickly.

Roma tries a top rope cross body but is easily caught in a slam. They be clubberin Tony! Out to the floor and Orndorff chokes away a bit on Jerry to take over. Tony goes into a big thing about how WCW listens to the fans and Heenan says wrestling is cool again because WCW is number one. Yeah when I see Paul Orndorff and Paul Roma as tag team champions in 1994 and hear about the debuting Honky Tonk Man, I think it’s cool.

Sags is knocked to the floor and holds his eye for awhile. I guess this show is so cool it burns his retinas. Orndorff hooks a chinlock and this match sucks. Knobbs tries to come in without a tag and the champs double team. Orndorff calls for a piledriver but Sags is too fat. Off to Knobbs and everything breaks down. Roma hits a top rope splash on Knobbs and Sags hits a top rope elbow on Orndorff and the Nasties (with the illegal man getting the pin) win.

Rating: D-. Pretty Wonderful was just AWFUL so they kept the titles for about half of the year. The Nasties were just kind of there until we got to a better team really late in the year in the form of Harlem Heat thank goodness. The match was junk, but did you really expect anything else?

Hulk says to call Hulk’s Hotline.

Here’s Hogan but a guy pops up behind him with a pipe and hits him in the knee before anything is said. Hogan uses the Mr. Nanny acting skills to say his knee is really hurt. It takes awhile to get him out. Eric is there too and we hear that he’s Executive VP. I didn’t know they had revealed that this early.

US Title: Ricky Steamboat vs. Steve Austin

Austin is champion and he already beat Steamboat via some circumstances (Austin got DQ’d, Steamboat insisted they keep going, Austin pinned him) at Bash at the Beach so this is the second match. We go split screen to see Hogan leave in the ambulance. Ricky takes him to the mat quickly and Austin complains of a hair pull. That brings a smile to my face due to the future.

Austin has Dragon Slayer on his tights. If Austin gets disqualified, he loses the title. We stop commentary on the match while a stage manager gives Heenan a live report of what happened to Hogan. We’ll ignore the fact that everyone could see it and point out that WE CAN’T HEAR HIM! He’s whispering in Bobby’s ear (and I know because the camera went off the match to look at him doing so), making this totally pointless.

They chop it out and Steamboat takes over. He grabs the arm as Heenan rants about how he wouldn’t care if Hogan can ever wrestle again. We get a SWEET pinfall reversal sequence and Ricky grabs the arm once again. We finally see this loudmouthed fan that the announcers have been complaining about all night. It’s Barry “Smash” Darsow as the new character the Blacktop Bully. He was a truck driver and a bully. And people wonder why this company was always struggling.

Tony says Austin has held the title since December of 1983, or about 11 years at this point. It’s more like 9 months and December of 93 but you can’t expect him to be able to tell time or complicated things like that. After a quick chase on the floor, Steamboat hooks a sleeper but Austin kind of drops down and drives Steamboat’s chin into his shoulder. I’d jot that down if I was him.

We hear that Sting who was in Chicago, has chartered a plane and is on his way here and will wrestle in Hogan’s place if need be. Ricky stays on the arm and hits a top rope chop. Back to the Bully shouting as Austin apparently counters with something. We didn’t get to see it but why would we need to do that? They fight from their knees and Austin grabs a chinlock.

They chop it out again and Steamboat hits a double to take over. They chop it out for the third or fourth time and Austin hits a suplex. A second is blocked and Steamboat puts him on the ropes. The cameras glitch so we get a random shot of the entrance. Austin knocks him back to the mat but gets crotched. Ricky loads up a superplex but Austin hits a release forward suplex.

He comes off the top but gets caught and Steamboat makes his comeback. I’m not sure how much of a comeback it can be after such a short time on defense but whatever. Top rope crossbody gets canvas and here’s more Blacktop Bully. Steamboat Hulks Up and hammers away. A spinebuster gets two. Austin goes up but gets caught in an electric chair drop for another two.

This is getting really good. A few pinning combinations get two for Steamboat. Austin dumps him over but Steamboat holds the rope. If he had hit the floor it would have been a title change. Austin goes to slam him BUT YOU CAN’T SLAM RICKY STEAMBOAT!!! Ricky gets his small package and the US Title.

Rating: B. Very good match here which is even more impressive when you consider Steamboat destroyed his back in this match and had to retire before he defended the title. Austin was supposed to get a rematch at Fall Brawl but since Steamboat was hurt, Austin was awarded the title and Jim freaking Duggan of all people took the title from him in about 45 seconds. But Hogan never did anything bad for WCW and it was just a coincidence that a washed up guy like Duggan got the US Title over someone young and talented like Austin and that Duggan just happened to be a friend of Duggan right?

Eric doesn’t know anything at the hospital but Hogan said it felt like something tore. Heenan couldn’t be happier.

Here’s a music video for a guy arriving soon: the Honky Tonk Man. It would be guys like him and Duggan and Orndorff that were pushed instead of guys like Austin and Foley and Pillman and others like that. This song couldn’t be more of a ripoff of his old song if they tried. WWF song lyrics: “I pick a mean guitar, I wear the blue suede shoes, you ought to hear me sing the snakeskin blues.” WCW song lyrics: “I play a mean guitar, I play the rhythm and blues, you better not step on Honky’s blue suede shoes.” The music sounds almost EXACTLY the same too. Jimmy Hart wrote both too.

Nick Bockwinkle says Hogan will have to forfeit the title if he’s not here later.

We recap the Rhodes Family vs. the Stud Stable. The idea here is that Dustin has feuded with Colonel Parker’s stable forever and needs a partner. For some reason that no one has ever come up with a reason for other than Dustin is an idiot, he asked Arn Anderson. You know, the guy who is most famous for BREAKING DUSTIN’S DADDY’S LEG. As anybody with enough common sense to say that putting your face in a fire is a bad idea, Anderson turned on him and joined Parker after about 5 minutes.

So one night Dustin was talking about needing a partner and Dusty came out. They had a strained relationship because Dusty was never around because he was off being a famous wrestling cowboy. Dusty uses the same line of Dustin offering up his innocence and being paid back in scorn that he used when Sapphire turned on him. I don’t really know what it means but I don’t know what Dusty means most of the time. Dusty offered to be Dustin’s partner and Dustin hugged him to say yes. I’ll give Dusty this: the man could talk like few others ever could.

Dusty Rhodes/Dustin Rhodes vs. Bunkhouse Buck/Terry Funk

It’s a brawl to start of course and Funk brings in a chair. The younger guys, Dustin and Buck, start us off which is probably a good thing. Off to Funk who is quickly knocked to the floor. Off to Dusty who gets a big reaction. An elbow puts Buck down and Funk wants in. Back to Dustin and everything breaks down. Some heel miscommuncation puts the heels down but Dustin is knocked the to the floor. Here’s Anderson and Dusty is in trouble. That doesn’t last long as Dustin comes back in and hits clotheslines for everyone. Bulldog takes Buck down and Arn runs in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Pretty boring match here but this was more about setting up WarGames. Yes, THIS was what they used for WarGames. Not Flair and company vs. Hogan and company. Hogan didn’t even wrestle at the show. Dusty was there for nostalgia purposes and that’s about it. Nothing to see here and it was a really boring feud all around.

Post match Dusty cleans house but Parker’s bodyguard Meng comes in. Dusty thinks about hitting him then thinks about an elbow but then says wait a minute. He goes outside and gets a wooden chair which he breaks over Meng’s head. Meng doesn’t move and hooks a nerve hold as the Stud Stable leaves the Rhodes boys laying.

We go back to the hospital and Hogan’s lawyer has advised him to relinquish the title. He’ll get the first title shot in exchange. Hogan won’t listen of course so apparently he’ll try to wrestle. Hart and Brutus come up and say Hogan is going to do what he wants.

Flair does one of his usual ranting and screaming promos about how he wants the title handed to him by Hogan. Flair had been doing really well as the face champion but Hogan was here so they turned him into a psycho heel which made him look like an idiot, because Hogan can’t lose right?

Hogan is on his way back here. Oh joy. Heenan PANICS.

Steven Regal vs. Antonio Inoki

This is based on the idea that Inoki is having his Final Countdown retirement tour and got a plaque in WCW. Regal protested so here’s a match. I don’t think anyone really got the point of this. Inoki fires off kicks as Tony butchers the name of Rikidozan. They go to the corner and I don’t think anyone knows who Inoki is. This is a very technical/foreign style match which means it means nothing to most American fans.

Regal hits a headbutt and they go to the mat with Regal dominating. Inoki heads to the floor and Regal won’t let him back in. This is really not working at all. The fans are quiet so Tony plugs Fall Brawl a bit. Inoki grabs the arm and Hogan is back at the arena. They go to the mat for a leg lock and I really can’t tell who is in control. Bockwinkle comes out and Inoki uses a blatant choke to take over. Regal kicks away and the announcers are talking about Hogan. This has been about 90% strikes. Butterfly suplex gets two for Regal. Inoki throws on another choke and Regal is out as Heenan freaks again.

Rating: F. This isn’t wrestling. I don’t know why it happened or why Regal, the TV Champion, was choked out this fast. This didn’t work at all and no one knew who Inoki was. “But KB he’s a legend and you have to respect him.” Or I could watch people have entertaining matches and have a point to being here. Just a thought.

WCW World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Ric Flair

Flair says give me my title. Hogan takes awhile to get there and then charges right at Flair. Now before I get into this, remember that Hogan allegedly has a severe knee injury and is fighting RIC FLAIR. Hogan takes him down and shrugs off a chop. The shirt is shoved down Flair’s throat and Hogan bites the forehead. Heenan advises Flair to go for the knee so they go to the floor where Flair chops him.

Hogan is limping a bit but other than that looks fine. Back in the ring and Hogan keeps beating on him with what appears to be the robe. Flair pokes him in the eye, snapmares him down….and goes up. Like I said, Flair was made to look like an idiot at this point. Flair is knocked to the floor again as this is a total squash so far. Up the aisle now and Flair gets beaten down some more.

The champ misses a chair shot and Flair hits some knees to the back (instead of the knee) and suplexes Hogan. Hulk is up first and drops elbows to keep momentum going. Flair Flip in the corner and he gets clotheslined to the floor. A fan tries to hit Flair with a cane. This match runs about 15 minutes. Seventeen and a half minutes in, FLAIR HITS HIM IN THE KNEE!!!

An early Figure Four attempt is countered and Flair hits a chop block. To the floor for the fifth time in about 8 minutes and there go the bandages. There’s the Figure Four (wrong leg, even Tony points this out) and after about 55 seconds, Hogan grabs Flair’s leg and shoves it off of his own. He Hulks Up and hits the big boot and legdrop but his knee gives out. Another Figure Four goes on and Hogan Hulks Up again and makes the ropes. He rolls into the ropes and Sherri, Flair’s manager, hits him with a shoe. Hulk falls to the floor and loses via countout.

Rating: F. No. No. No. NO. Flair looked like an IDIOT here and for what? To show that Hogan can’t feel pain in his knee? This was ridiculous and was nothing more than a sign of things to come. Hogan wouldn’t lose the title for over a year and Flair would look stupider and stupider every time they fought. Just pathetic.

The Masked Man comes out and they double team the knee. Another Figure Four goes on but Sting runs out for the save. Flair leaves with the belt.

Hogan is taken back to the hospital to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. You could see the problems that would kill this company staring you right in the face here. I’ll go with this: the rumored main event for Starrcade was going to be Austin vs. Flair. Instead, we got Hogan vs. Brutus Beefcake. Foley was run off and Austin was fired for being too unpushable. Strange how that decision was arrived after Hogan got there no? 95 was just awful as it was basically the late 80s all over again and until they caught a miracle in Hall and Nash, this was a horrible long term idea. At the end of the day, WCW isn’t around anymore, so what does that tell you?

 

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ECW on SyFy
Date: November 17, 2009
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Byron Saxton

This isn’t a show I talk about all that much but it was requested so here it is. This is one of the very last ECW shows as it would be replaced by NXT in February of 2010. The main event tonight is Punk returning to the show to team with Regal against R-Truth/Christian in what should be a good match. Let’s get to it.

We open with a closeup of the ECW logo when Punk pops up. He says it all started for him here before he became a three time straightedge World Heavyweight Champion. It’s like Alexander the Great returning home.

Theme song opens us up.

This is the go home show for Survivor Series.

Here are Ryder and Rosa to open the show. He talks about getting messages on Twitter (why am I shocked?) but he’s here to introduce us to Rosa who he praises a lot. She says he almost won last week and it’s like going shoe shopping once. The fans boo this out of the building of course. He wants her here to be in his corner for his next rematch with Shelton.

Here’s Benjamin who accepts the challenge and hits on Rosa. Zach defends her and gets called a tool. Now he’s a power tool according to Shelton. Shelton wants to do it right now. Ryder says let’s wait which gets some solid heat. Shelton looks away and gets punched as Ryder runs off.

We recap Hurricane vs. Paul Burchill. Hurricane has been running around being a hero but Burchill swears it’s Gregory Helms. They’ve feuded for awhile and tonight it’s mask vs. career.

Paul Burchill vs. The Hurricane

Burchill has Katie Lea (Winter) with him. Feeling out process to start and Hurricane arm drags him to the floor. Hurricane sends him to the floor again and it’s time for a chinlock. Katie trips Hurricane so that Burchill can hit a Saito Suplex to take over. Back from a break with Burchill controlling via a chinlock. Burchill pounds on him in the corner but Hurricane avoids a charge. They slug it out with Hurricane taking over. A Hurri-press and clothesline take Burchill down for two.

Eye of the Hurricane is broken up though and a kick to the face gets two for Paul. Another Eye attempt is countered into a northern lights suplex for two. Hurricane hits a rana for two but Katie distracts him again and a powerslam gets two for Burchill. A suplex is reversed into the Eye of the Hurricane but it only gets two. Hurricane goes up again but gets crotched. Burchill tries to suplex him to the floor but Hurricane counters into a swining neckbreaker off the top for the pin. It was more exciting than it sounds here.

Rating: B-. This was a pretty fun match as Burchill kept getting frustrated but he never could put Hurricane away. The neckbreaker off the top was a big enough move to end things, but it felt kind of flat as it hit and that was it instead of building to a bigger climax for the pin. Still good though.

Burchill realizes he’s gone and gets upset.

Tiffany, the GM, is in the back when Punk comes in to remind her he’s straightedge. He’s looked into her personal life and says she likes to drink. Tiffany says she likes to have fun and Punk should try it sometime. She leaves and Punk looks at her like she suggested opening an elephant pants store.

Vance Archer vs. Johnny Andrews

Andrews is a local jobber. Reverse DDT ends this in about a minute.

Punk and Christian are in the back. Christian inquires about straightedge and wants to know if Punk has a curfew or if he can hold hands with a girl. Punk says he used to be ECW Champion. Christian says Punk is a nerd.

William Regal/CM Punk vs. R-Truth/Christian

Punk and Christian start but Christian wants Regal. Off to Truth quickly and the good guys hit stereo middle rope dropkicks to clear the ring. After a break it’s Regal vs. Truth but Regal is knocked into a tag. Punk gets kicked to the floor so Truth can dive on him. Regal pulls Truth off the apron, injuring his knee. These four will all be in a Survivor Series match on Sunday.

Punk comes in to work on the bad leg with a basic leg lock. He also manages to yell at Christian a bit which is a nice touch. Back to Regal as the beating continues. Punk misses a legdrop but still prevents the tag with a shot to the leg. Truth manages an enziguri ti Regal and it’s a double tag to bring in Christian and Punk. Tornado DDT gets two for the Canadian. GTS and Killswitch are countered and everything breaks down. Christian loads up the Killswitch but Regal hits his running knee so that the GTS can pin Christian.

Rating: C. Not a bad match here as it set up the match on Sunday which is the whole idea of this show. Punk had just come off the world title run and would be about to form the Straight Edge Society in January. Other than that the match was just ok. Christian’s team would win on Sunday.

Overall Rating: C+. The dying days of ECW were a shame as the show was really starting to get better. With the new guys being brought in and the storylines being simplified, there wasn’t much to complain about at all. Then NXT started and the first season was awesome so I can’t complain much. Good show here, especially for a one off show. I’ll likely be starting to do ECW on SyFy from the beginning soon.

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NXT
Date: November 2, 2011
Location: BI-LO Center, Greenville, South Carolina
Commentators: William Regal, Jack Korpela

We’re approaching a full term pregnancy here as we’re in I think week 35 or so. Darren Young can come back from suspension next week but I don’t think he’ll be returning. The show seems like it’s trying to come back to the way things used to be but it’s really not working. It was a lot better when there were random matches going on instead of ones like there used to be. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about the proposal and acceptance from last week with Bateman and Maxine. It’s as stupid as it sounds, complete with a bad love song playing in the background.

Here’s JTG to open the show. He brings out Bateman and Maxine, who wears a lot of REALLY not-PG outfits. Maxine insists the name is BetaMax. I give up. Bateman says he wants to do this right, so he drops to his knee and gives her a ring which is “what 38 weeks of being an NXT Rookie can buy.” He hasn’t been here 38 weeks but whatever.

This brings out Watson, O’Neil and AJ. They really do look good in the suits. Maxine is fishless, whatever that means. Now we’re talking about Fraggle Rock. No one gets the joke, myself included. Bateman sends them away because this is an engagement party and they’re not invited. The girls get into a “you’re uglier than me” contest so O’Neil implies that Maxine’s father is here to make this formal. Titus pulls out a fish. Regal: “He’s doing that just for the halibut.” There are a ton of fish jokes and that’s the best of them all. Titus starts singing Under the Sea when Striker comes out and makes the six man tag main event.

Usos vs. Tyson Kidd/Johnny Curtis

Hawkins is suspended so Curtis is back on NXT as the sub. The winners of those shows can’t catch a break. Kidd vs. let’s say Jey starts us off. The twins take over on Kidd and Jimmy gets two off an elbow. Jey gets the same off a chop. No Curtis in yet, meaning the collective snoring hasn’t started. Oh there he is. For the life of me I don’t get what they saw in him. He’s so bland and cookie-cutter looking I don’t know how he could get more uninteresting.

Back to Kidd as apparently Curtis isn’t even going to grace us with his presence. Thank goodness for that. If I sound a bit incoherent here, you can blame the slight cold I have or Curtis’ ability to suck all the charisma out of a match. The Usos go up but heel double teaming takes them right back down. We take a break and come back with Curtis working on Jey’s knee which may have been hurt coming off the top.

Kidd comes in again as I guess even Curtis is bored by his own work. Back to Boring Man who hits a slingshot legdrop to Jey’s knee. Here’s a leg lock as this match has somehow only been going about 7 minutes including the break. Jey finally sends Kidd to the floor as as we talk about Killer Kowalski. There’s the tag and everything breaks down. The Usos head to the floor where they launch Kidd into the barricade in a cool looking move. Back inside a Samoan Drop followed by a Superfly Splash ends Curtis at 8:47.

Rating: C-. The tag matches here used to be good but I guess they’re just getting boring to me now. The Curtis factor didn’t help things out here either. The problem at the end of the day is the that the Usos are flat out better than any other team and we can only see these guys fight for the sake of fighting so many times before it loses all meaning. I think we hit that six weeks ago.

Raw ReBound. The Sheamus/Beaker thing still makes me smile. There are some deleted scenes in this.

Kaitlyn and AJ chat about the wedding. Can we just look at Kaitlyn for 50 minutes instead?

Kaitlyn vs. Tamina

Rematch from last week, which isn’t nearly as competitive was Korpela wants you to think it was. Regal makes jokes about having an affair with a dwarf. I don’t have any idea what it has to do with this match but it’s funny. Kaitlyn gets more offense in the first 30 seconds than she had all last week. Korpela calls Tamina’s dad (Jimmy Snuka) a Hall of Flamer. The crowd is dead for this. Tamina hammers away and it’s off to a chinlock.

At least we can look at Kaitlyn in those shorts of hers. Jack tries to say that the Divas Division is awesome right now and I begin to chuckle at him. Kaitlyn hits that old classic attack known as WHAT A MANEUVER (modified Side Effect) for the pin at 5:10. Again, can we just look at her for the rest of the show?

Rating: D+. These matches suck. That’s really all there is to say about it. I know Kaitlyn looks good, but is there really any need to have her wrestle? That’s one of the things that suck the time out of a Raw or Smackdown: the Divas matches. They’re not entertaining and most of the time they suck, yet they get a few minutes a week.

AJ/Percy Watson/Titus O’Neil vs. Derrick Bateman/JTG/Maxine

The Fascinating Fact this week: the black sheep of Maxine’s family is an unsavory bishop from the island of Butte, who owns a combined toilet factory who in his spare time sends full tapes of Shetland ponies to people. I think that was a play on words joke but I’m not sure. The girls start us off and Maxine is ticked off. AJ hits a jumping armdrag and things speed up. Maxine rolls to the floor after a spinwheel kick.

Off to JTG vs. Watson now and the good guys take over. Titus gets two off a clothesline and it’s back to Watson. Regal asks a good question: why do you need to dance about when you can hit someone in the mouth? Bateman hits a dropkick thanks to a Maxine distraction as we’re running out of time in a hurry. Jimmy the Gimmick hooks on a chinlock and then hooks a Regal Cutter of all things. Even Regal points that one out.

The announcers talk about how long this season has been. Even they don’t know when it’s ending. Somehow Regal turns this into a metaphor involving a hamster on a skateboard. You can’t say he’s typical. Off to O’Neil and everything breaks down. Clash of the Titus ends Bateman at 6:35.

Rating: C-. Not a bad match or anything, but this match sums up the problem with this season of NXT: Titus can beat Bateman. I looked it up and in this season, that is the 6th time O’Neil or O’Neil’s team has beaten Bateman or Bateman’s team. What in the world is there left for these two to prove? Nothing, but they keep the season going anyway.

Overall Rating: D+. I just don’t care anymore. When things were all going insane it was fun, but we’re going in circles on this show. Titus and the Usos dominate whoever they face, Bateman does nothing of interest and AJ still doesn’t like Maxine. That’s all we’ve seen for the last two months, but it never goes anywhere at all. I don’t get it, but I’m not WWE I guess. It’s not horrible, but it’s more boring than bad.

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