Summerslam 2021: They Went Big

Summerslam 2021
Date: August 21, 2021
Location: Allegiant Stadium, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Pat McAfee, Michael Cole, Jimmy Smith, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves

We’re back in front of a full stadium and that could make things interesting. Throw in the fact that this is on a Saturday for once and there is a different energy to the whole thing. We have a full on dream match main event as John Cena is challenging Roman Reigns for the Universal Title so at least the big match at the end should be good. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Big E. vs. Baron Corbin

A contest winner gets to read the introductions. Corbin has stolen Big E.’s Money in the Bank briefcase but doesn’t own it. Big E. suplexes him down to start and then does it again for a bonus. The apron splash misses though and Corbin sends him shoulder first into the post twice in a row. Corbin’s chokeslam is countered into a Stretch Muffler of all things but Corbin slips out. Corbin grabs the briefcase and tries to run off again but gets speared through the ropes instead. Back in and the Big Ending finishes Corbin at 6:31.

Rating: C. This was a quick way to get the briefcase back in Big E.’s hands and possibly tease a cash in for later. I’m not sold on Big E. cashing in on Roman Reigns but maybe on a downed Bobby Lashley? Corbin’s downward spiral continues and I’m kind of curious to see how far they can go with this whole thing.

The opening video has a poker/gambling theme and looks at the biggest matches on the card.

Raw Tag Team Titles: RKBro vs. Omos/AJ Styles

RKBro is challenging after officially reuniting on Raw. Riddle goes after Omos to start and gets tossed down in a hurry as the strikes don’t work. The sleeper doesn’t do much either as Omos isn’t playing around here. AJ comes in and it’s time to kick away at Riddle. That doesn’t last long either as Riddle dives over and makes the tag.

Orton unloads on Styles and even kicks Omos off the apron to the floor. The hanging DDT is broken up though and Omos chokeslams Riddle onto the apron. That’s enough of a distraction for AJ to snap Orton’s throat across the ropes. A moonsault takes Riddle down on the floor but the Phenomenal Forearm doesn’t work. Orton ducks and grabs the RKO for the pin and the titles at 6:31.

Rating: C+. They didn’t bother doing anything but try to have a feel good moment here and that worked out well. Omos and Styles have done everything they need to do with the titles and it is a good move to switch things over. RKBro is the best thing going on Raw so give them the good moment and let things move on.

We recap Alexa Bliss and Lillie putting Doudrop in a trance and Eva Marie slapping her out of it.

Alexa Bliss vs. Eva Marie

Doudrop is here with Marie. Bliss drops to the mat to freak Marie out but she gets knocked down anyway. Hold on though as Marie has to go and slap Lillie, which sends Bliss into a panic. Lillie is put back in her place but Bliss misses Twisted Bliss, allowing Marie to get some near falls. Bliss grabs a quick Sister Abigail DDT for the pin at 3:49.

Rating: F. It’s still the worst thing going in WWE today and I don’t see that changing anytime soon. The Lillie doll alone is one thing but the powers are taking it to a new low. It didn’t help that the match was horrible because neither of these two are very good in the ring. This is probably the low point of the night and I don’t think that’s any surprise.

Post match Doudrop announces Marie as the loser and steals her robe.

RKBro is ready to defend the titles no matter what. Orton still isn’t thrilled though.

US Title: Sheamus vs. Damian Priest

Sheamus is defending and headlocks Priest down to start. Back up and Priest rocks him with a shot to the face, followed by a kick to the chest. Sheamus gets knocked to the floor and the big flip dive mostly connects to drop him again. A spinning kick t to the face is countered into a powerbomb into the post to put Priest down for a change. Back in and we hit the chinlock to keep Priest down as he seems a bit shaken up from the flip dive. Sheamus’ powerbomb is countered into a hurricanrana but Priest gets knocked back to the apron.

The ten forearms are broken up and Priest snaps off a running tornado DDT. The top rope spinwheel kick gives Priest two (that looked good) but Sheamus counters the Reckoning. Sheamus goes up but has to counter a chokeslam attempt into a neck snap across the rope. A top rope clothesline sets up the Alabama Slam for two and Sheamus hits a headbutt. The Brogue Kick takes too long though and Priest grabs South Of Heaven for two.

Priest tries a springboard but dives into a jumping knee to give Sheamus a near fall and the annoyed reaction. A rollup is countered into a kneebar to put Priest in trouble but he does the angry zombie situp. Sheamus’ mask is ripped off and Priest nails another spinwheel kick. The Reckoning gives us a new champion at 13:45.

Rating: B-. There were some sloppy parts in there but this was about taking two big people and having them beat each other up for a while. Sheamus’ reign is similar to AJ Styles/Omos’, as he was never going to be the next big thing, but he was going to be able to make someone look good in defeat. Priest gets his first big singles win and Sheamus can keep making people look better.

Rey Mysterio gives Dominik Mysterio a pep talk and tells him to stay focused.

Tag Team Titles: Rey Mysterio/Dominik Mysterio vs. Usos

The Usos are defending. Jimmy gets sent outside and Jey is sent on top of him, with Dominik nearly slipping off a dive back inside. The Three Amigos connect but Jey tags himself in and shoves Dominik off the top. A hard posting rocks Dominik again and it’s something like a Demolition Decapitator connecting back inside.

Jey hits a right hand, which is nowhere near as loud as commentary thinks it was. Dominik finally manages to grab a suplex into a neckbreaker and the hot tag brings in Rey. House is cleaned, including a tornado DDT to Jey but Jimmy nails a superkick. The Superfly Splash misses but it’s a double superkick to drop Rey again. Now the Superfly Splash can retain the titles at 10:05.

Rating: C-. So that happened and I’m not sure if there is anything else to say about it. The Smackdown tag division is a complete waste of time at the moment and it’s another example of why it would be great to have one set of Tag Team Titles. That won’t happen, but it certainly should given how things are going at the moment.

Actress Tiffany Haddish brings in the first time “National” Champion Damian Priest, who liked getting to beat a bully.

Here is Rick Boogs to introduce King Nakamura, meaning it’s time for Pat McAfee to jump up onto the announcers’ table. That’s it.

We recap the Smackdown Women’s Title match as Bianca Belair defends against Sasha Banks in a Wrestlemania rematch. Banks returned, joined with Belair and then turned on her in the span of an hour, setting up this one. This one is much more about hatred than the title to give it a little twist off the Wrestlemania match.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Bianca Belair vs. Sasha Banks

Belair is defending…..but not against Banks, who isn’t cleared, despite being advertised all the way through the Kickoff Show. We have a replacement.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Bianca Belair vs. Carmella

Belair isn’t impressed, but hang on another replacement.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Bianca Belair vs. Becky Lynch

Yeah that works and Lynch is challenging, after taking Carmella out that is. We get the big Belair vs. Lynch staredown and Becky officially challenges so the match is on. Bell, right hand, Manhandle Slam, new champion in 23 seconds. I would really hope that there is more to it than what we just saw, as beating Belair, who has been on fire in recent months, like that is a bad idea. There is nothing wrong with pushing Lynch, but don’t sacrifice someone as awesome as Belair to do it.

Belair is crushed by the loss.

WWE is going back to Saudi Arabia in October.

Here are two Olympic Gold Medal winning wrestlers, though I see no broken freaking necks.

Jinder Mahal vs. Drew McIntyre

Veer and Shanky are barred from ringside. McIntyre starts fast and knocks Mahal outside, meaning Mahal is already begging off. Mahal talks about how they used to be like brothers and then kicks McIntyre in the face for two. The stomping is on but McIntyre is back up with a series of overhead belly to belly suplexes. The Claymore finishes Mahal at 4:36.

Rating: D+. That’s all this should have been as there was no reason to believe that Mahal was going to be a threat to McIntyre. Mahal got in some stomping here and then lost like he should be doing. I’m sure we’ll get rematches because a match like this is not good enough to prove a point.

Post match Veer and Shanky come in but McIntyre chases all three of them off with Angela the sword.

We recap the Raw Women’s Title match. Nikki Ash is out to prove herself, Charlotte is there because she is the former champion and Rhea Ripley is there because WWE likes triple threats.

Raw Women’s Title: Nikki Ash vs. Charlotte vs. Rhea Ripley

Ash is defending. Ripley gets sent outside to start and it’s Nikki grabbing a rollup for two. Back in and Ripley gets rolled up for the same but Charlotte sends Nikki outside. The big fight is on with Ripley and Charlotte slugging it out until Ash comes back in with a rollup for two. That earns her another toss to the floor and Ripley grabs a northern lights suplex for two on Charlotte.

A big boot knocks Ripley off the apron but Nikki is back in with a tornado DDT for two. Charlotte picks Nikki up but Ripley is back in to German suplex both of them at once. The missile dropkick gets two on Charlotte so she and Ripley fight to the floor. They stand in place and look up at Nikki as she gets ready before diving onto the two of them. Back in and Charlotte suplexes both of them, followed by a double DDT.

The chops have Ripley and Nikki rocked but they double team their way out of trouble. Charlotte sends both of them outside and goes up for the corkscrew moonsault, which lands straight on Nikki and drives her HARD into the barricade. That was terrifying and thankfully Nikki is up so Ripley can put her into the Prism Trap.

Charlotte breaks that up and it’s the Prism Trap to Charlotte, who reverses into the Figure Eight. Nikki comes in off the top to break it up and the swinging neckbreaker gets two on Charlotte, with Ripley making the save this time. Ripley is sent outside and Charlotte avoids Nikki’s high crossbody, setting up the Figure Eight for the tap to make Charlotte champion again at 13:12.

Rating: B-. I think I’ve run out of ways to talk about how many title wins Charlotte has these days but it’s better to just pull the plug on Nikki as a champion at the moment. This has been a complete nightmare since she won the title and if they just want to get it back on Charlotte, go for it. Ripley seems to be a lost cause as well though, as she has been flattened by the Charlotte train. The match itself was quite good with some awesome near falls, but there is a certain deflating value when Charlotte gets the title back.

We recap Seth Rollins vs. Edge. Rollins cost Edge the Universal Title at Money in the Bank and Edge is out for revenge. Rollins keeps saying he is just better than Edge at everything and that Edge can’t get to that level anymore. This led to a Broodbath (yes Broodbath) on Smackdown as Edge is reaching his old self again.

Edge vs. Seth Rollins

Edge comes out to the Brood theme, complete with the still amazing ring of fire, but switches to the current theme in the aisle. That was awesome and well done on making this feel special. Rollins wastes no time in going for the neck but Edge knocks him outside. It takes some time for Rollins to start getting back in so Edge knocks him off the apron and starts the walking around the ring.

Rollins manages to post him and sends the head into the steps over and over. Back in and Rollins cuts off the comeback with the Sling Blade and a kick to the face for two. Rollins’ neckbreaker is countered into a backslide for two but he kicks Edge down again. The frog splash gets two on Edge so they head up top, with Edge grabbing a super swinging neckbreaker for a breather.

The Edgecution gets two and Edge is looking frustrated at the near falls. Edge goes up so it’s Rollins going after him, setting up the superplex into the Falcon Arrow for two. The Stomp is countered so Rollins tries a Pedigree, which is reversed into a Glam Slam (ala his wife) to give Edge two more. Edge is sent into the ropes and has to avoid another Stomp onto the apron. A heck of a spear through the ropes thankfully doesn’t break either of them in half.

Back in and Rollins takes him down again but misses the Phoenix splash. The spear gives Edge two but Rollins hits a hard forearm to the back of the neck. A superkick to the side of the head sets up the Stomp…with Edge grabbing the boot on the way down. We get another flashback with the Edgecator, which Edge lets go when Rollins gets too close to the rope. Instead it’s a Crossface to put Rollins in trouble, with Edge ramming Rollins’ head into the mat over and over. Something like a Crossface sleeper makes Rollins tap at 21:21.

Rating: B+. Ever since Edge has come back, I haven’t been able to bring myself to care about any of his matches. I like the idea of setting them up, but the thought of actually seeing them happen doesn’t work. Then almost every time, Edge winds up making it work and that was the case again here. I’m really not sure why he needed to win here, but it was a heck of a match and the best one on the show so far.

Money in the Bank is coming to Allegiant Stadium over the 4th of July weekend next year.

Official attendance: 51,326.

Here are Miz and John Morrison to talk about how dry everyone must be here. They are here to make everyone all moist with the Drip Stick 2000 but neither of them have it. Instead, here is Xavier Woods, with a water tank on his back and a water gun attached. After doing a Scott Hall style survey (complete with toothpick and “one more for the good guys”, Woods sprays them and the two of them leave. If there is a point to this thing, it went sailing over my head.

We recap Goldberg vs. Bobby Lashley. Goldberg is back and wants the title, time for a showdown. There isn’t much else to it than that in this case.

Raw World Title: Goldberg vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley, with MVP, is defending. They circle each other to start and we get the big power lockup. Lashley gets backed into the corner and shoves Goldberg back. A shoulder doesn’t stagger Goldberg but his flying shoulder drops Lashley. A powerslam into a World’s Strongest Slam crushes Lashley and a clothesline takes him down again. Neither of them can hit the Jackhammer so Lashley knocks him down for the forearms to the back of the neck.

Goldberg sends him flying but MVP pulls Lashley outside to avoid the spear. That’s fine with Goldberg, who hits the spear on the floor instead. Back in and Lashley bails outside to avoid another spear. MVP hits Goldberg in the knee with his cane so Lashley takes out the leg. The Hurt Lock is blocked and the fans aren’t pleased. Another shot to the knee puts Goldberg down and he rolls outside. The knee is sent into the post hard twice in a row and Goldberg collapses before Lashley can try the spear. That’s enough and the referee stops it at 7:12.

Rating: D+. Goldberg’s stuff was looking better than usual at the start and then it turned into WWE trying something emotional. They’re probably setting up a rematch or something, because Goldberg is the most overly pushed legend in WWE history. I have no idea what this was supposed to accomplish other than to make Lashley look like someone who can’t get the job done almost six months into his reign. It was an acceptable power brawl for a bit and then it was the leg stuff over and over until the finish.

Post match Lashley unloads on Goldberg with chair shots to the knee and Goldberg is done. Goldberg’s son Gage tries to run in and jumps on Lashley’s back so Lashley puts him in the Hurt Lock. MVP grabs the mic and says Lashley didn’t know who it was as Goldberg crawls onto his son. MVP and Lashley bail as Goldberg swears vengeance and Gage looks bored. They had this much time to set things up and their big idea is to make it about Goldberg’s kid? There is NO ONE ELSE who can get a spot like this than Goldberg? WWE is dying for fresh stars and they use an emotional angle on Goldberg?

We recap John Cena vs. Roman Reigns. Cena returned to challenge Reigns for the Universal Title, both to break the record for the most World Titles as well as bring Reigns back down to earth.

Smackdown World Title: Roman Reigns vs. John Cena

Reigns is defending and will leave WWE if he loses. Granted Cena has already won because of the Super Mario 3 style shirt. They start slowly with Reigns hitting a running shoulder to scare Cena back a bit. A small package gives Cena two he mocks Reigns with the two count. Cena’s rollup gets two so Reigns elbows him in the face. A snap suplex sets up a chinlock before Reigns throws him outside. Cena is sent into the steps a few times, allowing Reigns to hold up the title.

Back in and Cena grabs a small package for two, setting up an AA attempt. That’s countered into a DDT for two as Reigns is a lot more serious. Reigns: “Movie executives I apologize, but I’m going to hurt this man.” Another comeback is cut off with a right hand but Cena gets another quick rollup. That just makes Reigns grab a sleeper and jump onto Cena’s back to make it worse. Cena fights up again and hits a heck of a clothesline (that clothesline that he hits when he’s in trouble) and they’re both down.

The comeback is on but the Shuffle is countered into the guillotine choke. Cena flips forward for two to counter but it’s the Superman Punch to cut him off again. Back up and Reigns charges into a big boot to set up the AA and the near fall. The STFU sends Cena crawling over to the ropes for the break and he is fine enough to catch Cena with the apron boot. Reigns loads up the spear but charges into another AA, this time through the announcers’ table.

Cena tosses him back inside for the very near fall and the shocked face is strong. The top rope Fameasser is countered into a powerbomb for two more and they’re both down. The Superman Punch connects for two on Cena but the spear hits the post, meaning it’s the super AA for a VERY good false finish. Cena’ does Reigns’ roar but charge into a right hand. The slugout is on until Reigns hits the Superman Punch. Reigns declares that he is WWE and the spear retains the title at 23:00.

Rating: A-. Yeah that worked and I don’t think anyone is surprised. Cena can still bring it on the big stage and Reigns has shown he can work well with just about anyone during this run. They had me buying some of the near falls and I wasn’t convinced the spear was it, so well done on having me totally confused and wondering when it was ending. This was the heavyweight slugfest and it worked out great.

And then Brock Lesnar comes back. Paul Heyman cowers in the corner and Reigns looks scared. Lesnar gets in the ring and Reigns and Heyman slowly back away. Lesnar, as a good guy for the first time in what feels like forever, poses to end the show. That’s about all there was left for Reigns at this point as Edge beat Seth Rollins, so well done on a big surprise.

Overall Rating: C+. The overall thoughts on this one are going to be all over the place, just like the show. It was FAR from perfect as there were some really bad matches and questionable decisions (I’m still trying to get my head around Lynch beating Belair like that) but there were some very good matches and a few legitimate surprises. I liked more than I didn’t, but it’s a show that is going to get a lot of dislike and I completely understand why.

What mattered here for me is that this show felt important. There were major matches and moments, with Lynch and Lesnar’s returns feeling huge. Throw in some title changes (not all good ones) and there is no denying that stuff happened here. The problem is that Monday is coming and any good will this show had is likely going away as they load up the rematches at Extreme Rules. What matters is that the show felt big and they had a lot of people in the house, so I’ll call it a just slightly good show which is going to have several people annoyed.

Results
RKBro b. AJ Styles/Omos – RKO to Styles
Alexa Bliss b. Eva Marie – Sister Abigail DDT
Damian Priest b. Sheamus – Reckoning
Usos b. Dominik Mysterio/Rey Mysterio – Superfly Splash to Rey
Becky Lynch b. Bianca Belair – Manhandle Slam
Drew McIntyre b. Jinder Mahal – Claymore
Charlotte b. Nikki Ash and Rhea Ripley – Figure Eight to Ash
Edge b. Seth Rollins – Crossface sleeper
Bobby Lashley b. Goldberg via referee stoppage
Roman Reigns b. John Cena – Spear

 

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Summerslam Count-Up – Summerslam 2020 (Original): I Didn’t See It Coming

Summerslam 2020
Date: August 23, 2020
Location: Amway Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips, Samoa Joe

It’s finally time to try this out and yes it’s another Thunder Dome show, which may or may not mean anything to you if you’re reading this in 2273. Basically there are no fans live in the arena, but there are pictures of several of them scared to move because of all of the conditions WWE has included to allow them to be shown on screen. Other than that, we have two World Title matches and something we’ll never see coming, which kind of negates the idea of a surprise. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: US Title: MVP vs. Apollo Crews

Crews is defending and the rest of the Hurt Business is banned from ringside. A quick sunset flip gives Crews two and MVP wants a breather on the floor. Back in and MVP uses a distracted referee to get in a cheap shot but Crews is right back with a dropkick. MVP is ready for a charge in the corner though and sends Crews over the top and face first onto the steps for a nasty crash.

Back in and MVP misses a big running boot in the corner but he’s fine enough to crotch Crews on top. A superplex brings Crews back down with MVP slipping a bit on the fall before getting two. Crews is fine enough to clothesline MVP to the floor and that means a big running flip dive, which seems to hurt Crews’ back again. Back in and Crews wins a slugout before ripping off MVP’s nasal strip. That sets MVP off enough that he tries the Playmaker but Crews reverses into the Toss Powerbomb to retain at 6:35.

Rating: C. This could have been on any given Raw and that isn’t the most surprising thing. The bigger story here would seem to be Crews vs. Bobby Lashley down the line and letting Crews get the Summerslam win on the way there is a nice boost for him. Other than that, there isn’t much to see here, but it was just a Kickoff Show match.

Post match Lashley and Shelton Benjamin run out for the beatdown but Crews slips away.

The opening video presents Summerslam as a huge production, including the lights, camera action line. Each match gets a quick look as well.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Asuka vs. Bayley

Bayley is defending and has Sasha Banks in her corner. Asuka forearms Bayley in the shoulder to start and hits a running dropkick. The sliding dropkick misses but Asuka can get a seated Octopus hold. Thankfully this cuts off Cole’s explanation that the big difference between their careers is Asuka has won the Women’s Royal Rumble. Not that Asuka has never lost a singles match to Bayley, including beating her twice in the last month and a half, but their Women’s Royal Rumble record.

The hip attack sends Bayley to the floor and Asuka hits a jumping DDT from the steps to knock Bayley silly again. Back in and Bayley grabs a quick suplex for a breather and the stomping is on in the ropes. The Bayley to Belly gets two more so Asuka kicks Bayley in the head for the double knockdown. Another hip attack rocks Bayley and there’s the release German suplex to send Bayley flying. They head to the apron with Bayley dropping Asuka knees first, much to Banks’ delight.

Back in and Bayley gets two off a chop block, followed by something like an Indian Deathlock. That’s broken up so Bayley grabs another leglock with Asuka going to the ropes this time. Bayley goes up for the top rope elbow but Asuka pulls her into the cross armbreaker instead. Asuka lets go to kick at the screaming Banks though and they head outside with Asuka hitting Bayley in the face. Back in and Bayley grabs a rollup for a close two but Asuka’s running hip attack hits Banks by mistake. That’s enough for Bayley to small package Asuka to retain at 11:21.

Rating: B-. It was good for Bayley to win, even if it has no bearing on her Royal Rumble history. Bayley retaining again is interesting, though that would give you more of a reason to believe that Asuka is taking the other title later. Either way, they had a solid match here as they tend to do, as Asuka can have good matches with almost anyone. It was a good effort here and they even helped set up the other title match later.

Post match Bayley and Banks lay out Asuka again.

Dominik Mysterio asks Rey Mysterio to let him do this himself against Seth Rollins and not get involved. Rey agrees and they hug.

Recap of Retribution’s carnage.

Kevin Owens comes out for commentary, complete with a red tie.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Angel Garza/Andrade vs. Street Profits

The Profits are defending and Zelina Vega is here with the challengers. Ford flips over Andrade to start and hits a jumping clothesline. A jumping hurricanrana off the top freaks Vega out and Andrade is sent outside. Dawkins comes in for a double flapjack to Garza but Ford’s running flip dive to the floor is countered into a double powerbomb. Back in and Ford gets sent into the corner, allowing Garza to TAKE OFF HIS PANTS!

Andrade armbars Ford over the ropes, setting up the Alberto double stomp for two more. Ford avoids a charge and brings in Dawkins to clean house, including a spear to Andrade. It’s back to Ford, who is grazed by the basement dropkick to the head for two. Zelina gets on the apron but is knocked down in a hurry, leaving Ford to escape the Wing Clipper. The Cash Out into the (spinning) frog splash pins Garza to retain the titles at 7:49.

Rating: C. Another Raw level match here, though maybe a little bit better than that. I doubt this is over between the teams, because it’s not like there is anyone else for the Profits to defend against at the moment. The Owens inclusion was a little odd but he has enough of a story history with Vega and company to make it work.

Post match Owens congratulates the champs and announces the return of the KO Show tomorrow night, with Aleister Black as his guest.

Bayley and Sasha Banks don’t like Kayla Braxton’s questions. Banks knows she can beat Asuka, and Bayley knows it too. Tonight Asuka is tapping out and then next week they’re retaining the Tag Team Titles.

We recap Mandy Rose vs. Sonya Deville. They used to be best friends and then Sonya got sick of Mandy getting all of the attention and turned on her. Then Sonya cut her hair and challenged her to a hair vs. hair match, which was seemingly derailed by someone wanting to actually murder Sonya, so instead it’s No DQ, Loser Leaves WWE.

Mandy Rose vs. Sonya Deville

No DQ, Loser Leaves WWE. Mandy punches her in the face for an early knockdown and they head outside with Sonya being whipped into various things. A suplex onto the ramp drops Sonya again and Mandy dives off the announcers’ table with a clothesline. Mandy grabs a table but Sonya gets in a shot and takes it inside. Back in and Mandy misses a running knee, allowing Sonya to slap on a dragon sleeper.

Sonya grabs a triangle choke but Mandy is smart enough to stack her up for two to force the break. The trash talk is on but only causes Mandy to slap away. Now the knee gives Mandy two and they head back outside, with Mandy shouting about being the soccer mom. Mandy throws the chairs at Sonya’s head but walks into a pump kick instead. Back in and Mandy hits a pair of knees, followed by a third as she goes half Kenny Omega. Angel’s Wings plants Sonya and a fourth knee to the face finishes her off at 10:00.

Rating: D+. Yeah believe it or not, I’m not exactly getting behind the idea of a blonde bombshell who got all of the attention being called out for getting all of the attention. Sonya stole the show in the entire feud and while things got turned upside down this week (completely fair enough), I was really wanting to see how far Sonya can go after everything she has been doing lately. Or to see Mandy bald for some reason. The No DQ stuff changed almost nothing here.

Post match Sonya is devastated as Otis comes out to celebrate. He does the Caterpillar and Mandy fails completely in her attempt.

We recap Dominik Mysterio vs. Seth Rollins, which is fallout from Rollins going after Rey Mysterio, including taking his eye out twice. Dominik is here to fight for his dad’s honor in his debut. They’re making it a street fight to help Dominik out a little bit.

Seth Rollins vs. Dominik Mysterio

Street fight and Rollins, with Murphy, is in Rey Mysterio WCW inspired ring gear. Rey is here with Dominik to even things out. Dominik looks nervous to start and Rollins seems more interested in toying with him. Rollins even sticks his head out so Dominik can grab a headlock. Instead of punching Rollins in the face, Dominik grabs a headlock and is shoved down almost immediately. Some armdrags into a front flip have Rollins a little staggered so he slams Dominik down.

Rollins demands and receives a kendo stick from Murphy but Dominik is up with a dropkick. That means Rollins has to run from the kendo stick until Rollins catches him with some stomping back inside. The neck cranking goes on but Rollins lets go to yell at Rey. Dominik’s feeble comeback is cut off with the Sling Blade and Rollins puts the knee on his face. The chair is set up inside and Rollins tells “Papa” to come on. Dominik reverses the buckle bomb and grabs a tornado DDT for two.

The kendo stick shots have Rollins in trouble for a change but he crotches Dominik on top. That means the superplex into the Falcon Arrow for two and Rollins wants his own stick. Dominik gets beaten down and Rollins calls for a table from Murphy. Rollins loads up said table in the corner but takes too long going up, allowing Dominik to hit a super Russian legsweep through the table for two. Dominik’s frog slash gets the same, plus a million versions of the same jokes about Eddie being his dad.

Dominik takes too long getting a chair and walks into a superkick, followed by a powerbomb. A bunch of kendo stick shots have Rey clutching his own chest and now we go old school with handcuffs. Before they go on, cue Rey’s wife to try to call this off but Rey stops her. Murphy comes in for the knee to Dominik and tries to take the eye out, finally drawing Rey in for the save.

Rollins and Murphy double team Rey and handcuff him to the middle rope. They both grab kendo sticks but turn to look at Rey’s wife instead. Since she’s on the stage and Rollins is at ringside (and since she can’t MOVE), Dominik makes the save. Something like a 619 sends Rollins into the barricade and there’s the regular version. Another frog splash hits knees though and Rollins makes Rey watch as he….just kind of holds Dominik. The Stomp finishes Dominik at 22:35.

Rating: D+. I’m not sure what to think here, other than it went WAY too long. The match itself was ok enough as Dominik has some skill and has clearly been trained well, but that doesn’t mean I want to watch this for twenty two minutes. It felt like a lot more of the same, with Rollins trying to be vicious but coming off as a heel wrestler instead of anything especially violent. This feud has gone on way too long and odds are we get a tag match next so they can keep trying to get the big emotional moment which hasn’t come yet. Dominik looked pretty good (all things considered), but not ready for Summerslam good.

Post match Rollins leaves the keys with Dominik and watches as he has to crawl over and free Mysterio.

Raw Women’s Title: Asuka vs. Sasha Banks

Banks, with Bayley in her corner, is defending. Asuka has a bad knee coming in and Banks goes straight for it in a smart move. Back up and Asuka hits a weakened version of the sliding forearm to put Banks on the floor. That means a leglock on the floor to even up the knees a bit, followed by a kick to the back for two on the champ. Asuka heads to the apron and Banks grabs a spinning powerbomb to the floor, freaking Bayley out in the process.

That’s good for nine so Banks kicks her in the chest for two more. Asuka pulls her down into an ankle lock but Banks rolls out in a hurry, sending Asuka onto the middle rope. That’s fine with Asuka, who hits a middle rope DDT for the slightly delayed two. The missile dropkick gets the same and Banks falls into the corner. Asuka tries to pull her out but Banks grabs a Codebreaker for two in a cool counter.

Banks misses her own frog splash and the Asuka Lock goes on but Banks flips backwards for two. Asuka has to let go and Banks gets the Bank Statement. She tries to flip into the center and gets switched into the Asuka Lock, which is broken again. Bayley gets on the apron and gets elbowed down, allowing Banks to try a rollup ala Bayley earlier. This time Asuka reverses into the Asuka Lock for the title at 11:31.

Rating: B. Better than the first match and I can always go with someone who learns from an earlier match. This made good sense after earlier and they had to do something to get some of the gold away from Bayley and Banks. The action was pretty hard hitting here and Banks works with Asuka better than Bayley, so this was a nice improvement over the opener and the best match of the night so far.

Banks is distraught post match and Bayley doesn’t know what to do.

We recap Drew McIntyre vs. Randy Orton for the Raw World Title. McIntyre won the title back at Wrestlemania and Orton has been on a roll in the last few months. This of course meant we needed Ric Flair to be involved because he has to be in on a big story a year. Anyway, McIntyre has worked his way to the top and doesn’t think much of Orton skating by on talent over the years. Orton on the other hand doesn’t think much of McIntyre at all and is taking the title because he can. Oh and he Punted Flair because it’s Flair.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Drew McIntyre

Drew is defending and Orton bails to the floor at the bell. After the stalling ensues, Orton goes back in, gets punched once, and heads outside again. The chase is on this time and Orton stomps away as Drew gets back in. Orton misses a pair of RKO attempts but the second one sends Drew outside for a breather. The champ gets back in again and unloads on Orton in the corner. Orton can’t hit the RKO for a third time but he can avoid a charge to send McIntyre shoulder first into the post.

McIntyre falls outside and Orton drops him hard onto the announcers’ table for a big crash. He does it again to make McIntyre’s back even worse and there’s a suplex off the table. That’s good for one back inside and we hit the chinlock. Orton starts stomping away at the ankle and leg but McIntyre gets in something like a Stunner to Orton’s knee. As a fan holding up a Twitter sign is replaced, Drew puts on a Figure Four in the middle of the ring.

Orton is in trouble but gets smart by pulling the referee in and poking McIntyre’s eye for the break. They get back up and slug it out with Orton still not being able to hit the RKO. McIntyre snaps off an overhead belly to belly and then does it a second time. A top rope clothesline drops Orton and McIntyre is fired up. McIntyre loads up a top rope superplex but gets dropped down into the Tree of Woe.

That doesn’t slow McIntyre down that much as he pulls himself up for a choke throw to put Orton back down. The Futureshock gets two and Orton’s head is busted open. McIntyre goes up top but misses a shot to the head, allowing Orton to hit the powerslam for two. The hanging DDT is countered and McIntyre hits the Glasgow Kiss.

They fall out to the floor together and Orton hits the hanging DDT on the way back in. Orton loads up the Punt but walks into a powerbomb. The Claymore is loaded up but Orton ducks, only to miss the RKO again. McIntyre grabs a backslide for the pin to retain at 24:38. Phillips: “Orton never saw it coming!”

Rating: B+. They took their time here and I got into it pretty quickly. I like the idea of having McIntyre win without some kind of a screwy ending and if that’s the only thing we didn’t see coming, it might be quite the upgrade. It was a very nice back and forth match and Summerslam main event worthy, so well done on living up to the hype.

Tomorrow: Keith Lee is on Raw.

We recap Braun Strowman vs. the Fiend. They have been feuding for months now with the Fiend reemerging from the swamp at Extreme Rules. During their fight, Alexa Bliss appeared and tried to convince Strowman to join Bray Wyatt again. Strowman said no, but it became clear that Strowman still thought something of Bliss, and maybe vice versa. Strowman said she meant nothing to him though and he even gorilla press slammed her on Smackdown. Strowman has had it with Wyatt and the Fiend so it is time to fight.

Smackdown World Title: The Fiend vs. Braun Strowman

Strowman is defending and falls count anywhere. Fiend is knocked down to start but comes right back with a release Rock Bottom. They head outside with Fiend sending him into various things and hitting Strowman in the ribs with a toolbox. Fiend loads up the announcers’ table but gets chokeslammed onto it for his efforts. A spear sends Fiend through the barricade and a shot with the steps makes it worse.

Back in and the running powerslam gives Strowman two, meaning it’s time to fight up the ramp. They go into the gorilla position with Fiend hitting Sister Abigail for two. Fiend pokes the eyes and takes it back to the stage, where he slithers over to Strowman. The Mandible Claw goes on near ringside but Strowman shoves him into the LED ring skirt.

Another running powerslam gives Strowman two back inside and frustration is setting in. Strowman goes to the toolbox and pulls out a box cutter so he can cut up the mat. Some of the wood is exposed but Fiend gets up and hits another Rock Bottom. Two Sister Abigails onto the wood makes Fiend champion again at 12:01.

Rating: C+. This was feeling big to start and then wound up being Strowman losing because he was stupid and took forever to set up….something while the supernatural monster was left laying there. Fiend winning was the only possible outcome here as there was nothing left for Strowman to do as the failed champion. Either way, it was better than I was expecting, but it still wasn’t great.

Post match ROMAN REIGNS returns and hits a spear to take Fiend down and hammer away. Reigns spears Strowman down too and shouts that Strowman isn’t a monster without him. He unloads on Strowman with chair shots and spears Fiend down again before shouting that the title was always his. I know supervillains are supposed to have weaknesses, but football players who played college ball in Georgia and use spears is as specific as I’ve ever heard. Also, Reigns was WAY more aggressive than usual here and felt as close to a heel as he’s been since the original Shield run. He might not have turned, but it wasn’t far off.

Overall Rating: C. This show was looking outright dreadful until Banks vs. Asuka (though I could see people liking Rollins vs. Mysterio) and the rest of the show bailed the first half out as much as it could have. Reigns being back is a great thing as Smackdown (and Raw for that matter) needs all of the star power it can get. It’s not a great show, but it jumps up in quality in the second half and that saved it from being a nightmare.

 

 

 

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Summerslam 2021 Preview

You actually can’t say that we’re back to normal with this Summerslam as this is anything but normal. In addition to being in an NFL stadium for the first time ever, the show is also on a Saturday, which is really throwing me off. At the same time, this is probably the biggest Summerslam of all time and they have the main event to match. I’m interested in this one so let’s get to it.

United States Title: Sheamus(c) vs. Damian Priest

It’s a relief just to see Priest in this spot. I wasn’t sure what he was going to do once he got put into the zombie match earlier this year, but at least he is getting something more important on the major show. At the same time you have Sheamus, who has more than earned this spot as he is still one of the more dependable midcarders in the company over the last few years.

I’ll go with Priest winning the title, though I can’t shake the idea that Sheamus retains here. Sheamus has held the title for a good, long reign now (which has actually taken him into the eighth longest total days as champion in the history of the title (including the NWA/WCW version)) and it has been leading to someone getting a nice rub by winning the title. I’m not completely sure if that is Priest, but I’m sure enough.

Drew McIntyre vs. Jinder Mahal

Let’s just get this one out of the way. This has been one of the lamer feuds on Monday Night Raw in the last few months as McIntyre is now the Highlander or something with the giant sword (Forgive me if that’s wrong as I’ve never actually watched the….show? Movie? High school interpretive dance recital?). McIntyre has also run through Mahal’s lackeys with no trouble, and you know what that means.

Yes of course it means Mahal wins here because this feud is dying for some rematches. They might even be able to take it all the way to TLC with a ladder match for the sword! Mahal continues to be the bland heel that he always has been and now we are on the way to seeing these two fight over and over. McIntyre deserves better, but he seems to be having fun with it so…..good? Well not good but good for him maybe?

Alexa Bliss vs. Eva Marie

Let’s get THIS out of the way too because dang man. I have no idea how this story has fallen so far but…..ok I get why it has but it’s hard to fathom. This is going to be the Lillie match of the show because after all the things WWE has gotten rid of, the evil doll must be a winner. That’s where we are somehow, and now it is time for Bliss to carry Marie in a stadium match.

Give me Bliss to win here, likely thanks to Doudrop costing Marie the match. This has the potential to be one of the worst matches of the entire year and it would not surprise me to see it bring the show to a screeching halt. I’m not sure if anything else is topping this for the worst thing going in WWE today and that is covering a lot of ground. Bliss wins, and the rest of us lose because this is a thing that is happening.

Raw Tag Team Titles: AJ Styles/Omos(c) vs. RKBro

Now this has my attention because it has been the best thing going on Monday Night Raw for a long time now. What matters here is that I want to see Riddle succeed. Him getting Randy Orton to be his friend and tag partner again was great, but now the fun part is seeing them win the titles. Assuming that is what actually happens rather than yet another swerve for the sake of building up more heat on someone.

I’ll go with the title change here, on the grounds of there is no reason to keep the titles on Styles/Omos. They have made their point as champions and Styles can easily move back into a singles run. RKBro winning the titles would be a great moment, though I’m not completely sure that is what they are doing. There is always the chance that there could be a swerve, but I’ll go with new champions here, as it would be a better move.

SmackDown Women’s Title: Bianca Belair(c) vs. Sasha Banks

This is of course assuming that the match takes place, as there is a real chance that we won’t be seeing it due to….whatever is causing Banks to be missing in action as of late. Belair was on SmackDown so there is a good chance we get a title match of some sort, even if it is not against Banks. If nothing else, I hear Asuka is sitting around with nothing to do so they might have a backup on hand.

Assuming the match takes place, I’ll go with Belair to win and retain (and I’ll go with the same if Banks is replaced too). Belair has turned into a big deal and there isn’t a good reason to take the title off of her yet. Build up someone big to take the title from here and see what you have. There is no need to put it back on Banks after all of the reigns that she has already had. They need to build up someone other than the Horsewomen, so see if Belair can be that.

Raw Women’s Title: Nikki Ash(c) vs. Charlotte vs. Rhea Ripley

This is firmly in the “if we have to” pile and not in a good way. The Raw women’s division has come crashing down in recent months and I’m almost scared to see what they are going to do with it next. Ash, despite being rather talented and charismatic, has been stuck in a downward spiral since winning the title, because the company is treating her like an absolute goof. So now, it’s a Summerslam title match.

I’m really not sure which way to go here but I’ll take Ash. You could make a case for all three, as Ash winning could be WWE’s attempt to make up for all of her losses, Ripley could sneak in and steal the title back, or Charlotte could win due to the nature of being Charlotte. Ripley winning (and FINALLY pinning Charlotte) is the most appealing, but we can’t be happy around this show so we’ll go with Ash because it is less good but not as bad as it could be.

SmackDown Tag Team Titles: Usos(c) vs. Dominik Mysterio/Rey Mysterio

Man alive there are a lot of matches that I just want to get done with already. This is a good example of a match where they would have been better off just waiting to do the big title change here, though it isn’t like the Mysterios were interesting enough to hold onto the titles. Since there is no one left to go after the titles, we’re stuck with Rey telling Dominik to focus for weeks on end.

In what should be the layup of the night, this is all about the Usos and they should absolutely retain here. I have no idea who would think that it is a good idea to put the titles back on the Mysterios and I don’t see any chance of a title change. Instead we are probably heading for Mysterio vs. Mysterio because….well actually that could be kind of interesting. But yeah, the Usos keep the titles here, as they should.

Edge vs. Seth Rollins

This is a pretty classic story, as one wrestler got something, the other wanted it and cost him, setting up a match. That’s what we’re getting here and it should work out well. Edge has been able to make the in-ring part work as well, and they even have a bonus story built in with the Stomp from 2014 (even if I don’t think it meant quite as much as WWE seems to think).

The more I think about this, the more sure I am that Rollins wins here. At this point I must be at a full on 51% sure, as Edge has already been far more successful than he needs to be in 2021. Rollins could be on his way to a Universal Title shot in the near future so giving him the win over a legend like Edge could give him a nice boost. It isn’t like Edge has to do anything to be ready for whatever he is going to do next, so let Rollins have the win here.

WWE Title: Bobby Lashley(c) vs. Goldberg

What is with WWE’s obsession with the spear vs. spear deal? I really don’t get the appeal here but WWE certainly likes running matches between people who use the thing. This is the semi-annual Goldberg World Title match, as just getting the shot at the Royal Rumble wasn’t enough. The feud has been lackluster at best and I can’t imagine the match itself winds up being the big turning point.

This should be all Lashley, who shrugs off a few finishers and then knocks Goldberg out with the Hurt Lock. I’m sure Goldberg will be back next year for another World Title match but for now, we can get rid of him for a bit and find another legend from the 90s to push. I really don’t need to see Goldberg in this spot and I don’t think I’m alone, but I think Lashley’s title is safe here.

Universal Title: Roman Reigns(c) vs. John Cena

Last week on SmackDown, Cena talked about how all he had to do was wait for a mistake and get a 1-2-3. That wasn’t exactly a stunning promo, but it was the kind of thing that makes you believe a surprise could happen. That right there is what this match needed, as it has been “Reigns vs. Cena, Reigns wins” for months now. Just giving it the slightest bit of doubt makes all the difference and we should be in for a heck of a fight.

Then Reigns announced that he would leave WWE if he loses. While there is always the chance that we might get a surprise Cena win, I think they go with the logical choice here and have Reigns retain the title. Cena breaking Ric Flair’s record in a short form reign could happen, but Reigns really should be holding that title for a lot longer with what might be waiting for him at WrestleMania. This is a war, but Reigns retains.

Overall Thoughts

I’ve been saying it for months now but WWE really has a Raw problem instead of a company wide problem. Going through this card, the SmackDown side is interesting and has my interest (or at least most of it does) but the Monday Night Raw side sounds as appealing as having my tongue stapled to a rampaging wildebeest. Summerslam is almost always based on the wrestling itself and hopefully they can make it work here. I think they need to this time.

 

 

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Smackdown – August 20, 2021: The Rehearsal

Smackdown
Date: August 20, 2021
Location: Footprint Center, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: Pat McAfee, Michael Cole

It’s the go home show for Summerslam and for once, the show is actually tomorrow night. I wouldn’t expect much in the way of wrestling tonight, but the talking should be more than enough to make something interesting. John Cena and Roman Reigns are here and that should be about all you need. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is Edge to get things going. After a video on Edge vs. Seth Rollins, Edge is sitting in a chair to talk about how Rolling teased stomping him back in 2014. Edge knows that the stomp could end his career and his way of life. It’s true that Rollins is an all time talent, but Rollins has driven him to a place where his blood runs black. Edge can see clearly on this day, and he knows that he has to break and humble Rollins. At Summerslam, Edge is going to burn him down. This is where Edge shines and I bought what he was saying.

Dominik Mysterio is all fired up but Rey Mysterio wants him to calm down and stay focused. That’s cool with Dominik.

Jey Uso vs. Rey Mysterio

Jimmy Uso and Dominik Mysterio are at ringside. Feeling out process to start until Rey gets him into the corner for some right hands to the face. Jey comes back with an uppercut to drop Rey and the chinlock goes on. Rey fights up and hammers away with a long string of right hands to put Jey on the floor. The dive takes both Usos out and we take a break.

Back with Jey hitting a Samoan drop for two as the pace slows down. Rey manages a quick hurricanrana for two and the springboard crossbody connects for the same. Jey drives him hard into the corner though and a pop up neckbreaker gets two more. Back up and Jey tries a powerslam but gets reversed into a tornado DDT. Rey tries a sunset flip but Jey grabs the rope, meaning Dominik tries to cheat like last week. This time he’s caught for an ejection so Jey gets in a cheap shot. The Superfly Splash finishes Rey at 11:27.

Rating: C. The “a member of one team fights a member of the other team, swap and repeat next week” is one of my least favorite booking tropes as it has been done to death. The fact that there are no other teams for these four to face to set up Summerslam is rather telling, but it would be nice to have anything else. It was a good enough match, but come up with something fresh.

We look back at Baron Corbin stealing Big E.’s Money in the Bank briefcase last week.

Kevin Owens vs. Baron Corbin

Corbin still has the briefcase. It’s a brawl to start with Owens punching him down and hitting the quick backsplash. That’s too much being down for Corbin, who pops up with a right hand and the slide under the ropes clothesline. Owens is right back by superkicking him to the floor for the Swanton off the apron but Corbin snaps his throat across the top. The chokeslam and Stunner are both countered and here is Big E. go to after the contract. First he goes after Corbin though and that’s a DQ at 4:09.

Rating: C. The Big E. interference makes sense here as it would be the logical thing for him to do. Corbin is still doing everything well and I’m curious to see where he goes from here. Owens is kind of floating around though, which has been the case for him since the feud with Sami Zayn ended. This was little more than a way to advance Corbin stealing the case though and it worked as such.

Post match, Corbin gets away with the briefcase again.

Bianca Belair looks at a clip of last week’s beatdown and is ready to beat up Carmella and Zelina Vega tonight. Sasha Banks is next.

Nox/Shotzi vs. Natalya/Tamina

It’s another Champion’s Contenders match because beating the champs twice in a row doesn’t mean a thing without it being a designated match. Tamina knocks Shotzi into the corner to start and it’s off to Natalya to hammer away. A hair takedown into a suplex gives Natalya two and we hit the chinlock. That’s broken up and everything breaks down with Nox diving onto Tamina. Natalya tries the Sharpshooter but Shotzi reverses into a small package for the pin at 2:59. To recap: we are probably looking at a fourth match between these teams. How much more proof do you need that this company is creatively bankrupt?

Here is Seth Rollins, in a white suit and tie, to respond to Edge. Rollins mocks what Edge said earlier and wants Edge to listen to him: there is no shame in being a family man and there is no shame in not being able to find the darkness that once guided you. Without that darkness, Edge cannot get on Rollins’ level. The lights go out…..and the BROOD theme song starts playing (though it never goes beyond the intro and into the good stuff). Edge pops up on screen to say Rollins will never see it coming, followed by black goo falling from the ceiling to cover Rollins’ suit. The lack of most of the Brood music holds it back.

Summerslam rundown.

Otis vs. Montez Ford

Remember when we did this two matches again??? Ford is in new gear here and looks more like a boxer. A shot to the face gets on Otis’ nerves so he knocks Ford HARD to the floor to take over. Back in and Ford gets in another quick right hand and a high crossbody gets two. Otis blasts him with another clothesline and the Vader Bomb finishes Ford at 2:47.

Apollo Crews/Commander Azeez vs. Rick Boogs/King Nakamura

This is Boogs’ in-ring debut. Boogs takes Crews down to start and uses his leg as a guitar. Back up and Boogs gets sent shoulder first into the post to give Crews two. It’s off to Azeez (who jumps over the top) and Nakamura, who kicks him in the face. A side slam drops Nakamura though and it’s back to Crews. That’s a kick to Crews’ head and it’s Boogs coming back in for pumphandle slam and the pin at 3:42.

Rating: C-. This was certainly a thing that happened and Azeez would make for an interesting first challenger for Nakamura. I’d say it’s pretty clear that the Crews deal is done for the moment as he’s losing to Nakamura’s guitar guy, so at least we’re on to something fresh. The monster getting the upper hand is nothing new so let’s see what he can do here.

Bianca Belair vs. Zelina Vega

Non-title and Carmella is at ringside. Belair runs through her to start but a quick backslide gives Vega two. You don’t do that as Belair muscles her up and then drops her, setting up the KOD for the pin at 1:26.

Post match Carmella superkicks Belair, setting up their scheduled match.

Bianca Belair vs. Carmella

Non-title. Carmella goes after the downed Belair and talks a lot of trash. The abdominal stretch goes on….until Belair powers her way out and muscles her up into the delayed vertical suplex (geez) for two. The standing moonsault gets two more and it’s a spinebuster into the KOD to finish Carmella at 3:55.

Rating: D+. This was Belair being in a bit of trouble, shrugging it off and running through Carmella like she wasn’t even there. That’s why you have lackeys and the match went fine with both of them offering Belair next to no challenge. I’m not sure where Banks was, but hopefully she is cleared after missing last weekend’s shows.

Here are John Cena and Roman Reigns, with Paul Heyman, for the big ending. The place goes coconuts for Cena and Reigns says he knows the fans care. Reigns: “Go ahead, pop.” Reigns can’t believe that Cena believes he can beat him 1-2-3. Heyman says that no one has ever beaten this version of Reigns and Reigns says Cena isn’t doing it either. Cena isn’t letting it go this way and grabs the mic, saying that a month ago, everyone said Cena is going to make a movie after Reigns beats him.

The movie is real but Cena losing isn’t. It’s the Summer of Cena and he is here to demote Reigns. Everyone wants Cena to acknowledge him but it’s been the same for twenty years: Never Give Up. All it takes is Reigns to make a mistake and it’s 1-2-3. If Reigns isn’t perfect it’s 1-2-3 and that means #17 for Cena. Tomorrow the impossible becomes possible thanks to Roman Reigns and all it takes is 1-2-3.

Reigns thinks Cena doesn’t get it because he should have smartened himself up. When people get in the ring with Reigns, he smashes them so hard that they can’t do it again. Reigns can go to Hollywood and do the whole nine out there. It’s getting a bit too emotional for Reigns though and says we should raise the stakes: either Reigns leaves the stadium as Universal Champion or he’s leaving WWE. The handshake….allows Reigns to lift him up for an AA but Cena reverses into a rollup for the 1-2-3 to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a letdown, but it was an understandable letdown. You’re only going to be able to do so much with the bigger names with 24 hours to go before one of the biggest shows of the year. That left us with a bunch of quick matches to serve as commercials for tomorrow, plus low level tag stuff. Not terrible, but it was a pretty skippable two hours.

Results
Jey Uso b. Rey Mysterio – Superfly Splash
Baron Corbin b. Kevin Owens via DQ when Big E. interfered
Nox/Shotzi b. Natalya/Tamina – Small package to Natalya
Otis b. Montez Ford – Vader Bomb
Rick Boogs/Shinsuke Nakamura b. Apollo Crews/Commander Azeez – Pumphandle slam to Crews
Bianca Belair b. Zelina Vega – KOD
Bianca Belair b. Carmella – KOD

 

 

 

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Summerslam Count-Up – Summerslam 2012 (Original) Perfect Storm

Summerslam 2012
Date: August 19, 2012
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s that time of the year again and I can’t say I particularly care about most of the show. The main events here are HHH vs. Lesnar in a match that has taken WAY too long to get to, Sheamus defending against Del Rio in a match we saw last month with Sheamus winning, and Cena vs. Punk vs. Big Show in a match that Show flat out does not need to be in. I’m not that fired up about this show again but hopefully they pull something off. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: US Title: Santino Marella vs. Antonio Cesaro

Antonio is challenging and has beaten Santino twice I believe in the past few weeks. Santino takes him to the mat to start and works over the arm with an armbar. Cesaro misses a charge and it’s Cobra time but Antonio knocks Santino down and kicks the Cobra to the corner.

We hit the chinlock for awhile and the idea is now that the Cobra is in the corner and Santino needs to get to it. This isn’t exactly Jake Roberts but they’re trying at least. Cesaro rips the Cobra up and Santino gets all fired up. He fires off his usual stuff but misses the headbutt. The Neutralizer is countered and Santino has another Cobra. He loads it up but Aksana’s distraction allows Cesaro to hit him in the ribs and the Neutralizer gives Cesaro the title at 5:05.

Rating: D+. This was about what it should have been, stupid sock thing aside. There was only so much you could do at this point with Santino as champion so having him lose to Cesaro here was the right move. With all these new stars they’re pushing, they have to actually give a title to someone and Cesaro is as good as anyone else. Decent opener, but it kind of deflates the crowd before a show.

The opening video is about the 25 years of this show (even though there have only been 24 editions of it and WWE still can’t count) and the main events, mainly focusing on Lesnar vs. HHH of course.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Chris Jericho

Ziggler has pink sunglasses to go with the shirt now. Jericho is injured coming in and word on the street is that this is his last night or next to last night so that’ll likely come into play. The idea is that Jericho can’t win the big one anymore which is an interesting way to go. Ziggler runs to start but the old man chases him down and speeds thing up. Jericho slips on what I think was supposed to be a spinning crossbody coming out of the corner but it only gets two.

Ziggler gets knocked down again but he reverses a suplex and goes for the bad legs. Dolph tries to speed things up but gets backdropped to the floor for his efforts. Jericho loads up the springboard dropkick but Ziggler moves, sending Jericho crashing into the floor. Back in and Ziggler works on the ribs as you would expect him to do. After knocking Jericho down again he uses Jericho’s arrogant cover for two. That’s awesome stuff there.

A corner splash misses and Jericho dropkicks Ziggler to the floor. Back in and Ziggler charges into a boot followed by a double ax from the middle rope from Jericho for two. The Fameasser out of nowhere gets the same for Dolph and Vickie is freaking out. The Walls are countered but Jericho hits an enziguri for two. Jericho doesn’t seem like he’s selling the ribs at all here. The sleeper goes on out of nowhere but the Canadian escapes and puts Ziggler on the top.

In a cool spot, Jericho punches him in the head ten times while standing on the top rope before snapping off a top rope rana for a very delayed two. A jumping DDT out of nowhere gets two for Ziggler and now it’s Jericho in trouble. Jericho bulldogs Ziggler down but the Lionsault hits knees. Zig Zag gets two and the fans are getting into this. Ziggler goes to pick him up but walks into a Codebreaker, sending him to the floor. Vickie grabs Jericho’s foot as he throws Ziggler back in, giving Ziggler a small package for two. There are the Walls and Ziggler taps at 13:08.

Rating: B-. The selling in this was really getting on my nerves as Jericho didn’t seem like he wanted to sell at all. Based on this, I really hope Ziggler doesn’t cash in later to erase this match because it’s happened already. The match got better near the end but it wasn’t a masterpiece or anything. If the rumors of Jericho leaving soon are true, I don’t really get the idea of him beating Ziggler clean at all.

Time for a recap of Lesnar vs. HHH, this time being from Monday with Shawn getting his arm broken.

Heyman and Lesnar are in the back and Heyman says that tonight, it’s a fight to the finish, meaning the referee shouldn’t stop the match for anything. No word on if that’s the official rule or not.

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane

This is based off Bryan, Kane and Punk vying for AJ’s affections a few months ago. There was a month or so off in between there so the story didn’t quite follow up that well. Bryan tries to run from the monster to start but after the moonsault out of the corner, Kane slams him down and hits the low dropkick for two. There’s a big Daniel Bryan chant just before he gets his head kicked off for two. Bryan goes after the knee and kicks Kane to the floor where he hits the suicide shove, but Bryan might have hurt his shoulder. It seems to be ok though as Bryan hits a missile dropkick for one as he comes back in.

Kane starts his comeback with some corner clotheslines and a side slam for two before going up. Bryan escapes the chokeslam but gets uppercutted right down. For no apparent reason, Bryan punches Kane in the face and gets beaten down in the corner. It’s almost a DQ but Kane lets off because he’s mellow now. A kick to the arm looks to set up the NO Lock but Kane is too big and fried and freaky. The fans start driving Bryan crazy so his top rope headbutt is caught in the chokeslam for no cover. The tombstone is countered into a small package for the pin at 8:03 despite Kane’s arm clearly being off the mat.

Rating: C-. The match was ok but when you push the idea of this being a big deal of Bryan beating Kane, it might be better if they had had move than FOUR total matches (that’s ever, including a match on Raw like 3 months ago that Bryan won. This could have been the first hour main event on any given Smackdown.

Kane chases Bryan into the back and destroys Josh Matthews for talking to him.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Rey Mysterio

Miz is defending because Rey beat him once on Smackdown ten days ago, which is all you need for an IC Title match at Summerslam. Rey is dressed as Batman for some reason. The blowup AWESOME balloons are back on the stage. Mysterio immediately grabs a rollup for two so Miz bails to the floor. AJ has tweeted that she’ll deal with Kane tomorrow night. Rey gets sent to the floor but he rolls through it to land safely. That was kind of cool.

An attempt at the sitout bulldog on the floor is countered by Miz throwing Rey into the barricade. Back in and Rey escapes a belly to back suplex into a cross body for two. Miz hits a kind of Abyss Shock Treatment for two which was a good looking move for him. Off to a cravate from the champion followed by the corner clothesline. Miz loads up his top rope ax handle but Mysterio crotches him to get a breather.

Rey heads up and hits the seated senton, only to get caught in a sitout powerbomb when he tries a rana. Rey kicks him in the head for two before countering a slam into a spinning DDT for the same. Rey ranas him off the top into the 619 but the top rope splash misses. The Finale is countered into a rollup for a very close two. And never mind as the Skull Crushing Finale retains the title for Miz at 9:13.

Rating: C. This was another decent match but it’s nothing that jumps off the page at you. Mysterio didn’t need to win the title here and Miz winning another match over a big name is certainly a good thing, but sweet goodness I did not care at all. The match came and went and most people didn’t care because there was almost no build at all. Nothing to see here although it wasn’t bad.

We’re roughly an hour into this and there’s nothing of note at all so far. It’s been the epitome of a meh show.

Eve and Teddy say nothing of note outside AJ’s office so Punk heads in to see AJ. After some exposition, Punk gets annoyed that AJ won’t respond to anything he says. He says he’ll retain the title tonight and AJ says nothing at all, nor does she move at all.

We recap Sheamus vs. Del Rio. Del Rio injured Sheamus’ arm before their match last month which Sheamus won clean. This month, Del Rio injured Sheamus’ arm before their match and then Sheamus stole his car. There’s nothing to this feud and no one seems interested at all in seeing it.

Smackdown World Title: Sheamus vs. Alberto Del Rio

Feeling out process to start with both guys going for finishers early on. Sheamus misses the Brogue Kick, allowing Del Rio to kick Sheamus to the floor. Oh and Sheamus is defending. Del Rio sends him into the steps and it’s back inside for a chinlock. A neckbreaker is countered by Alberto into some kicks to the face for two. We’re only a few minutes into this and it’s already dull.

Del Rio pounds his own chest and shouts BROGUE but charges into a double ax from the champ. A charge into the corner hits post though and Del Rio takes over for all of a second. The shoulder missile from Sheamus is broken up and a Codebreaker to the arm from the top gets two. The armbreaker goes on out of nowhere but Sheamus powers out of it into a kind of powerbomb. White Noise gets two and it’s Brogue Kick time, but Del Rio hides in the corner.

That’s fine for Sheamus as he hits the ten forearms to the chest followed by some punches in the corner. Del Rio drops Sheamus face first into the buckle and the running enziguri gets two. Ricardo comes in for no apparent reason and loses a shoe as Alberto yells at him. Sheamus blasts him with it and hits an Irish Curse for the pin at 11:21 but Alberto had his foot on the ropes. Geez we have to sit through this AGAIN next month?

Rating: D. STOP PUSHING DEL RIO BECAUSE NO ONE FREAKING CARES ABOUT HIM! I like Sheamus but my goodness no one cares about this feud and now it’s going to go on ANOTHER month because WE WILL CARE ABOUT ALBERTO WHETHER WE WANT TO OR NOT. I’m so bored of seeing these two fight when it’ll be another arm injury for Sheamus before Del Rio finally gets the title you know he has to get. The wrestling was fine and the rating is probably low but dang man, give Sheamus ANYONE else to feud with.

Some soldiers are here.

HHH told the referee earlier to only end it on a pin or submission. Let them fight apparently.

We’re looking at Tweets from Shawn throughout the night.

Tag Titles: Prime Time Players vs. Kofi Kingston/R-Truth

The Players are challenging despite losing clean to the champs on TV a few weeks ago. Truth is also injured coming in because that’s a running theme tonight. Truth and Young start things off and I guess Truth is ok after the emphasis they gave to him getting beaten down on Raw. Off to Titus who has a bit better luck, slamming Truth down and putting him in a front facelock. There’s the tag to Kofi and NO ONE reacts when he springboards in to attack O’Neal. Boom Drop hits but Young’s distraction breaks up Trouble in Paradise.

The challengers make Kofi chase them around the ring, which lets Titus clothesline Kofi down to take over. Darren puts on a chinlock followed by a powerslam for two. Titus hooks a quickly broken abdominal stretch but as he tries a spinning Rock Bottom, Kofi counters into a DDT. Off to Young vs. Truth and the fans don’t react again. Everything breaks down and Kofi dives onto Titus on the floor. Young gets two on a rollup on Truth before the Little Jimmy retains the titles at 7:07.

Rating: C. Why? Why in the world would you keep the titles on Kofi and Truth, who haven’t done jack with the belts in months. My only guess is because of AW, because clearly the Prime Time Players, a decent team in their own right, need to be punished for something their manager said. This show is getting worse and worse as it goes on and that’s not good.

We recap the events in LA before the PPV. Basically, BE A STAR!

HHH vs. Lesnar is main eventing. Is anyone really surprised by that?

We recap the triple threat match which is Cena vs. Punk vs. Show. Cena is there because Punk is tired of being overshaddowed by him and Show is there because we can’t just have Cena vs. Punk which is an interesting match and because we potentially need a fall guy for Cena to win the title without beating Punk.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. John Cena vs. Big Show

Cole gives the dreaded stats of Punk’s title reign, which are usually the kiss of death. Punk has pink trunks tonight which is a different look for him. Cole points out that Punk hasn’t main evented a PPV since December. Way to push your champion as a big deal there Cole/Vince. Then again that’s the idea of the angle but it doesn’t help much. Show takes them both down to start with his big man power offense and does the SHH chops.

Punk and Cena team up to beat on Show but he runs them over. Cole calls Punk and Cena an unlikely alliance. You know, because two guys against Big Show NEVER team up on him. The small guys finally put Show down but Punk can’t GTS him. Cena tries an AA but Punk breaks it up. Show takes over again and as you would guess, things slow back down. Cena gets knocked to the floor but Show misses a splash on Punk. The springboard clothesline is caught by Show and a slam gets no cover.

Show loads up the WMD but Cena goes after Show to break it up. Show spears Cena down for two and the small guys are down again. The Vader Bomb aimed at both only hits Cena but Punk saves the pin. Show and Cena go to the floor and the Big Bald catches Punk in mid suicide dive. He throws Punk into the ropes and heads back inside. Cena loads up his finishing sequence on Show to huge boos, only to get taken down by Punk.

Punk drops the elbow on Show for two. A kick to the head puts Show down and Punk throws on a Kofi Clutch but Show powers out again. Cena puts Show in the STF but more power escapes it for Big show. Cena’s middle rope cross body doesn’t work but the springboard clothesline from Punk puts him down. The running knee in the corner staggers Show but the bulldog is countered. Top rope Fameasser puts Show down and it’s a Koji Clutch and the STF at the same time for the tap.

Cue AJ who says restart the match. Show chokeslams both guys and gets two on both. Cena pops up and hits the AA on Show, but Punk throws him to the floor and pins Show to retain at 12:38 total.

Rating: C-. Nothing to see here for the most part, but I’m glad Punk retained….I think. One thing: what in the world was the point in the restart? If you want to go with Punk stealing the pin then that’s fine, but why in the world do the whole AJ thing? Anyway, this probably leads to Cena vs. Punk in Boston at Night of Champions, which is what this show should have been. Still though, the match was just ok at best, just like every other match tonight other than the opener.

Fred Durst, Piers Morgan, Rick Rubin (music producer), David Arquette and Maria Menounos are here.

There was a WWE Film premiere last night. It’s called The Day, which is another in the long line of great titles from WWE Films.

We recap the pre-show match.

Time for the annual Summerslam concert as Kevin Rudolph performs Be A Star. I have never heard so much silence when a musician takes the stage Some Divas come out and dance with him. The announcers dance too. This just came and went.

Time for the BIG recap of Lesnar vs. HHH.

HHH vs. Brock Lesnar

Brock charges to start ala vs. Cena but HHH punches his way out of the arm. Brock gets the arm hold on and even jumps onto a standing HHH with it but HHH punches out of it again. A clothesline puts Lesnar on the floor and a jumping knee puts Lesnar down again. Lesnar gets sent to the floor for the second time and this has been almost all HHH in the first two minutes.

Lesnar gets back in and takes his gloves off. He takes HHH down with ease and blasts him in the back of the head, which is illegal in UFC. Out to the floor and Lesnar hits a hammerlock slam on the table. Back in and another hammerlock slam hurts the arm even more. Lesnar wraps the arm around the ropes as this is basically a regular match so far. The F5 is countered but Lesnar hits a big German suplex to take him down again. HHH grabs a DDT to slow Lesnar down but it’s right back to the arm hold.

That doesn’t last so it’s hammerlock slam #3 followed by HHH being sent into the steps arm first. They head to the announce table and Brock jumps off of it with a forearm to the back of the head/neck. Back in and Brock uses a freaking small package of all things for two. Lesnar clotheslines him down and the match slows down again. The Game grabs a suplex to finally get himself a breather and both guys are down.

The Pedigree is countered and HHH gets to do his fly over the corner bump. Out to the floor again and HHH sends Lesnar into the table to slow him down. Lesnar looks hurt, like legit hurt. It looks like his groin or ribs. Lesnar shouts about his stomach and things slow WAY down. Oh never mind he was apparently playing possum. If so that’s the best selling Brock has ever done.

HHH knees him in the ribs to escape the arm lock and does it again a few times for good measure. Spinebuster puts Lesnar down but the Pedigree is countered into an also countered F5. Pedigree hits on the second attempt but it only gets two. Lesnar hits HHH low but Armstrong (referee) won’t call the DQ as per HHH’s orders.

The F5 hits but only gets two, which only shocks about half the audience. The kimura (arm lock) finally goes on in full but HHH makes the rope….which means nothing here. HHH pounds out of the hold because that’s how tough he is or something. Out of nowhere HHH hits a second Pedigree but Lesnar no sells into the kimura. Lesnar cranks on it and HHH taps at 18:45.

Rating: B. Well, it’s safe to say they’ve lost the point of Lesnar already. This was a standard WWE main event style match with HHH getting in more offense in about 80 seconds than Cena got in through his entire 20+ minute match with Lesnar. Brock trying the arm hold about 10 times before getting it in good doesn’t make him look awesome or anything. It makes him look like someone with one move and no game plan at all aside from that. The match was good but when you go from Cena and Lesnar having a potential match of the year to this, it’s a pretty big letdown.

HHH gets to do the whole big “I don’t need medical help” stand up and walk out but the fans tell him he tapped out. They play it up like it’s his last match. Right.

Overall Rating: D+. This show wasn’t bad. It was the thing that’s far worse than bad: it was dull. The matches were all fine, but at the end of the day, pretty much nothing happened here. The only title change was on the preshow and it looks like we’re gearing up for more Sheamus vs. Del Rio next month, which is boring me to tears. Cena vs. Punk will be awesome but it could have been awesome here. The show wasn’t bad, but it was underwhelming. It’s a weak ending to a pretty good summer for WWE.

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Summerslam Count-Up – Summerslam 2011 (2013 Redo): The Power Of Texting

Summerslam 2011
Date: August 14, 2011
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 17.404
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

This year has been all about the rise of CM Punk. In June he sat on the stage and ripped into John Cena and the WWE in general, leading up to the world title match at Money in the Bank in Chicago. Punk won the title in a masterpiece and then left the company as champion. Cena won the title from Rey Mysterio on Raw, but Punk came back with his title. Tonight it’s champion vs. champion for the undisputed title. Oh and Christian vs. Orton in the blowoff to the underrated feud of the year. Let’s get to it.

Adam Jones, some guitarist from Tool, plays the Star Spangled Banner. WE WANT MAN MOUNTAIN ROCK!

The opening video is about how Summerslam being where dreams are made. We shift to a shot of dominoes falling over. Punk talks about being the first domino being knocked over and starting a revolution. HHH is guest referee tonight because what would a major match be without him?

The theme song this year is Bright Lights Bigger City by Cee Lo Green. I usually don’t care for him but it fits the show well.

The Miz/Alberto Del Rio/R-Truth vs. Kofi Kingston/John Morrison/Rey Mysterio

Cole IMMEDIATELY freaks out over Miz being on Summerslam. Miz keeps talking about how awesome he is until Truth cuts him off. This was when Truth was insane so he complains about things that start with the letter S, like spiders, Summerslam, Cee Loo Green and Conspiracy. Del Rio is the Raw MITB winner. The fans are WAY into Del Rio here for some reason. Mysterio gets a title shot at Punk or Cena tomorrow on Raw. Miz and Kofi get things going and the fans are actually behind Miz as well. Kofi hits a nice monkey flip followed by a dropkick before bringing in Morrison.

A double clothesline puts Miz down and the good guys do stereo nipups in a nice visual. Off to Truth who is tackled by Morrison but comes back with right hands to the face. Truth sends Morrison to the floor as the announcers talk about wigs. Thankfully Booker is there to get us back to the action by shouting BACK TO THE ACTION! Miz comes in with a kick to the head and puts on a chinlock, only to have Morrison kick him in the head to escape.

Kofi comes flying in off the hot tag and cleans house with his barrage of high flying offense including a cross body to Miz for two. The Boom Drop gets two and everything breaks down. Kofi gets two off the SOS but Del Rio breaks up the pin. Miz hits a kind of Diamond Cutter face plant for two and it’s Kofi in trouble from the boots of R-Truth. Del Rio comes in with a belly to back suplex and mocks Kofi’s Trouble in Paradise hand slap.

Kofi kicks him away but Miz breaks up a hot tag bid. Cole lists off Miz’s high school accomplishments as Kofi flips out of a sunset flip and stomps on Miz’s ribs to put him down. Hot tag brings in Rey to face Truth who does his usual backflip/splits sequence, only to have Rey kick him in the head. Del Rio breaks up a double 619 so only Truth takes the kick. Kofi dives on Miz and Rey hits a top rope splash on Truth for the pin.

Rating: B-. Take six guys, give them ten minutes and let them have fun. It’s an idea as old as time and it’s still used to this day because it still works. The good guys can fire up any crowd with their high spots and the fans were into the match as a result. As mentioned earlier, Summerslam is great at having good openers and this was no exception.

Johnny Ace wants an apology from Punk over a kick to the head on Monday. Punk gives an over the top apology and Ace walks away. Punk turns around to see Stephanie who wishes him good luck. He makes fun of Vince and she wishes both Cena and Punk good luck. “But I’m just Vince’s clueless daughter right?” Punk: “Yeah pretty much.” She offers him a handshake but he knows where it’s been.

We recap Sheamus vs. Mark Henry. Henry is just starting the Hall of Pain run and has been destroying everyone in sight and breaking a lot of limbs. He stood tall in the ring until Sheamus came out and said three simple words: I’ll fight him. It turned Sheamus face and made him very popular due to the simple idea of standing up to a bully. THIS is how you book Sheamus: have him in there against some monster and taking a good fight to him, not slumming it with Damien Sandow and winning each match with ease.

Mark Henry vs. Sheamus

Henry takes him down with a clothesline to start but Sheamus comes right back with right hands. The pale one pounds away and actually knocks Henry down to his knees, only to be thrown to the floor. Henry EASILY throws Sheamus through the ropes and hits a splash for two. A running crotch attack crushes Sheamus’ neck but he’s in the ropes before the count starts.

A backbreaker puts Sheamus down and it’s off to an Argentinean backbreaker to complete the set. Sheamus powers out, only to be sent chest first into the corner. Henry misses a Vader Bomb though and Sheamus has a breather. A series of ax handles to the chest and head put Henry down followed by the forearms in the ropes. They clothesline each other down and we get a breather.

Back up and Mark runs into a boot in the corner, allowing Sheamus to go up for the top rope shoulder, good for two. The Brogue Kick misses though and a clothesline puts Sheamus down. Sheamus slips out of the World’s Strongest Slam and there’s the Brogue Kick to knock Henry to the outside. Sheamus follows him to the floor but Henry drives him into the post and through the barricade in a great crash, allowing Mark to beat the count for a countout win.

Rating: C+. This was another simple formula: take two big power brawlers and let them beat the tar out of each other for nearly the minutes. It’s also a smart ending as Sheamus gets to stay strong but Henry gets another win. Sheamus would get a countout win I believe at the next PPV so it evened out. Good, fun brawl here.

World Heavyweight Champion Christian says his match with Orton will be an epic summer blockbuster. He’ll be like Harry Potter, making magic at every turn. Orton will be like Cowboys and Aliens: a flashy flop. That movie was good though.

Trailer for Killer Elite which is probably sponsoring the show or something.

Here’s Cee Lo Green for the mini concert. He looks like he’s in big sparkly pajamas but the song isn’t bad so I’m not complaining much. The fans aren’t moving at all for this but the vocals are pretty bad so I can barely hear a word he’s saying. Now he throws in his bigger hit Forget You, complete with Divas in red dancing behind him.

Now here’s a Slim Jim ad. I’m sure the fans are LOVING this stuff.

Now a 7-11 commercial. My goodness get to something else.

Divas Title: Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix

I could go for a Slurpee. Back to 7-11 it is! Kelly is defending. Beth and Natalya are the Divas of Doom here and don’t like the Barbies like Eve and Kelly. Kelly and those AWESOME little shorts of hers go after Beth and we get the screaming headscissors. Beth is knocked off the apron and Kelly dives off the middle rope to knock her to the floor. Back in and Kelly flips out of the corner and Beth clotheslines her down.

Kelly gets dropped throat first on the top rope for two Eve plays cheerleader. This is a lot of standing around with Beth glaring down at Kelly before hitting a running Umaga shot in the corner. We hit the chinlock followed by the second over the shoulder backbreaker of the night. Kelly finally slips out and hits a quick neckbreaker to put both of them down.

Beth sends her into the Tree of Woe for no follow up before getting two off a side slam. Kelly gets in a knee to the face and goes nuts on Beth, only to have the handspring elbow countered. The Glam Slam is countered into a victory roll for the pin, just like every time Kelly beat Phoenix.

Rating: D+. All things considered, this was something resembling a miracle. The match was nothing of note but Kelly actually didn’t embarrass herself out there. She got WAY better over the years, but at the end of the day she was out there because of how good she looked in those tiny shorts. It also says a lot that less than two years later only Natalya is left from this match.

Stephanie leaves Cena’s locker room for some reason.

Truth and….Jimmy Hart of all people talk about a c-o-n-spiarcy. Jimmy offers to manage him and Truth seems interested before he realizes that Hart is…..LITTLE JIMMY! Truth looks over to see Ron Artest (Metta World Peace) and his daughter in a worthless cameo.

BUY TWIX!

Wade Barrett vs. Daniel Bryan

I like Barret’s End of Days theme a lot better than the God Save the Queen one now. This is MITB fallout as Bryan knocked Barrett off to win the case. Bryan has some slow music which isn’t all that bad, but soon he would go to Flight of the Valkyries which works far better for him. Bryan is rocking the white trunks with red trim here which are pretty awesome. Feeling out process to start with Barrett punching Bryan down to stop the wrestling part of the match.

Daniel takes it to the mat and spins out of a wristlock before dropkicking Wade down. Cole says Barrett is a submission master as Bryan does the AJ Styles drop down into a dropkick, right down to the same overblown drop down. Back up and Bryan hooks a dragon screw leg whip and a running dropkick in the corner for two. Another kick to the chest gets two and Bryan backflips over Barrett, only to charge into the Winds of Change for two. A slingshot belly to back backbreaker gets two for Wade and we hit a reverse chinlock.

Back up and Bryan hits a running clothesline but Wade comes back with a big running forearm to the face. Wade puts Bryan in the ropes and kicks him out to the floor before hooking a chinlock. The hold doesn’t last long again but Bryan ducks a boot and crotches Barrett on the top. A dropkick puts him on the floor and there’s the flying knee off the apron. Back in again and the missile dropkick gets a close two for the American.

Bryan escapes a pumphandle slam and fires off more kicks to the chest for two. Wade ducks a clothesline and hits a big boot to the face for two but Wasteland is countered into the guillotine choke. Barrett goes down and there’s the LeBell Lock but Wade gets into the ropes for the break. Daniel loads up a superplex but Barrett crotches him on the top rope. A middle rope clothesline takes Bryan off the ropes and Wasteland is good for the 100% clean pin.

Rating: B+. I REALLY liked this for one reason: it was a good wrestling match. It’s a basic story of one guy wanting revenge for a loss in a big match, it had a good story in the ring with a striker against a technical guy and the action was good. Wade Barrett is a guy who can go in the ring but he’s the ultimate jobber to the stars and I have no idea why when he can do this.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Christian. Christian won the title at Extreme Rules but Orton came over to Smackdown to replace Edge as the top guy. Orton won the title on his first night on the show, ending Christian’s title reign in less than a week. Christian wanted one more match, turning heel in the process.

Orton beat him again, but Christian some how got one more match and if Orton got disqualified, he would lose the title. For once, that actually worked and Christian won the title. Tonight, it’s the final match with no holds barred. These matches kept getting better and better and if Punk vs. Cena hadn’t happened it would have run away with feud of the year.

Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Randy Orton

Before the match, Christian brings out Edge to be in his corner to a HUGE ovation. After a full entrance, Edge says that he’ll never be cleared to wrestle again. When he first left, that made him happy because he was able to pass the torch to Christian. Edge didn’t think it was fair that Christian had to defend the title five days after a ladder match and Christian complained too.

Then he complained more and more and more and more. Then he wanted rematch after rematch and FINALLY he won the title back…..but he did it by disqualification. Yeah Edge did some bad things, but he did it with style. He didn’t hide behind lawyers and clipboards. Somewhere along the line Christian became a parody of himself. Edge didn’t know Christian would ever be like this, and that’s not good. Edge drops the mic, walks out, Christian freaks, and here’s Randy.

Remember this is no holds barred. Orton takes him into the corner and stomps him down before hitting a quick clothesline. Christian rakes the eyes and gets a quick one count off a middle rope elbow to the face. A backdrop puts Christian down and Randy stomps away but the champion chokes away on the ropes. Orton loads up the Elevated DDT but gets backdropped to the floor. Really back and forth so far.

Orton sends him head first into the barricade and loads up the announce table. The RKO is blocked and Christian grabs the belt before sprinting into the crowd. Randy catches up with him and stomps Christian down onto the concrete before heading back to ringside. Back in and Orton rains down right hands in the corner. Christian avoids a charge and sends Orton’s famously bad shoulder into the post to take over. The champion brings in a kendo stick to choke away before getting two off a back elbow.

Christian busts out a spinebuster for two and goes to the middle rope, only to be dropkicked out of the air. The powerslam puts Christian down again and now Randy gets the kendo stick. Instead of swinging though he catches Christian’s dropkick into a jackknife cover for two followed by the Thesz Press. Christian escapes the Elevated DDT into a Killswitch attempt but Orton counters into the backbreaker for two. The idea of this feud was that they knew each other so well and they would add another move to the string of counters every match. It was awesome.

Orton can’t hit the Punt but has to send Christian face first into the post to avoid getting crotched against the steel. Randy pulls out a pair of tables and slides one into the ring, only to have Christian drive him into the apron. Christian sets up the other table on the floor and they head inside where Orton superplexes him onto (not through as the table hasn’t been set up yet) the table for two. The table is set up in the corner but Christian counters the whip into the reverse DDT for no cover. Instead he loads up the spear but Orton jumps over and tries the RKO, only to be sent over the top and out to the floor.

Christian goes after him but is sent knees first into the steps to put him down again. Orton takes forever to set up the steps but gets sent face first into the steel again. Christian loads up the other announce table and blasts Orton in the head with the announce table. The champion tries an RKO through the table but gets caught in the real thing to destroy the table instead. Back in and Christian hits a quick Killswitch for two and Christian is furious.

The champion brings in a pair of chairs for the Conchairto but spits on Orton, causing Randy to move away. Now it’s Randy with the chair, cracking it over Christian’s back and knocking him off the apron through the table. Orton throws in some steps and trashcans before catching a charging Christian in a powerslam through the table in the corner.

Some HARD kendo stick shots to the back have Christian in even more trouble and the Elevated DDT crushes a trashcan. Christian tries one more rush but his sunset flip out of the corner is countered into the RKO (same move that gave Orton the title in the first place) onto the steps for the pin and the title.

Rating: A-. Much like the Undertaker vs. Edge Cell match a few years earlier, this was the perfect way to blow off a feud with Orton being the definitive winner. This feud did a great job of building upon itself with the extended sequences carrying over from match to match and building a deep psychology. Great match here and the whole feud is worth checking out.

Video on Axxess.

We recap Punk vs. Cena. As mentioned, Punk left with the title at Money in the Bank so there was a tournament held to crown a new champion. Mysterio won but lost the title to Cena the same night. Punk came out and held up his own belt, meaning we had two champions. This all happened in two weeks when it could have went on for months. The entire match is summed up with one idea: Cena doesn’t know if he can beat Punk. HHH is the new boss and is the guest referee tonight for no reason anyone not named HHH can figure out.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. CM Punk

Punk has more or less been turned face by the will of the crowd alone. Feeling out process to start with Punk grabbing a headlock and SHOUTING spots into Cena’s ear. Cena easily takes him down to the mat and slaps on a headlock. That gets him nowhere so Punk gets up and we have a quick staredown. Cena grabs a single leg and slaps on an armbar followed by a chinlock. Back up and Punk hits a quick leg lariat before hooking a chinlock of his own with a bodyscissors.

Cena powers out and hooks a quick fisherman’s suplex before hooking another chinlock. The fans chant Fruity Pebbles and WE WANT ICE CREAM as Punk gets up a quick big boot to the jaw. HHH hasn’t been a factor so far. A few knees to the ribs and a headbutt to the shoulder set up another bodyscissors from Punk as we’re barely in second gear nearly eight minutes into the match. Cena escapes again and they fight over a suplex off the apron. Neither guy can go anywhere so Punk kicks Cena in the head to knock him outside.

Back in again and Punk cranks on a neck lock but Cena stands up and suplexes out of it. Cena tries to speed things up but the shoulder block is caught by a knee to the head for two. The running knee in the corner misses and now Cena can initiate the finishing sequence, only to have Punk hit a knee to break up the Shuffle. CM tries a kick but gets caught in the STF, only to get to the ropes and counter the ProtoBomb into a downward spiral and a Koji Clutch.

Cena rolls out and puts on the STF but Punk slips in an arm to block most of the pressure before countering into the Anaconda Vice. Cena rolls out of THAT and tries the STF again but Punk crawls out before it goes on full. AWESOME sequence there as the gear has shifted hard. Punk backdrops him to the floor and hits the suicide dive but he bumps his own head in the process. HHH starts counting and gets to nine before going to the floor and throwing both guys back inside.

They slug it out back in the ring but Cena can’t hit the AA. Instead he busts out a GREAT dropkick and hits the Shuffle. The AA is countered again into a sunset flip for two followed by the high kick for two more. Cena escapes the GTS and hits a corner splash (?!?) and a sitout powerslam (that’s more like it) for two. The top rope Fameasser doesn’t get to launch as Punk hits the running knee to the head and the bulldog off the top for two.

Punk loads up another springboard but gets caught in the STF to put him in real trouble. He finally gets to the rope and pops up for a GTS attempt, only to be countered into the AA for a close two. The top rope Fameasser misses again and Punk grabs a quick GTS for two more. HHH still hasn’t been a major factor other than throwing both guys in. The Macho Elbow gets two and Cena goes into straight brawling mode but gets caught by another knee to the chin. GTS #2 connects and the three goes down but Cena’s foot was on the ropes before two.

Rating: B+. The match is good with that sequence in the middle being a big highlight but there’s one major problem for this match: it’s the sequel to Money in the Bank. That’s doomed so many matches over the years and while it didn’t sink this one, it certainly slowed it down a lot. Still though, good stuff here and definitely worthy of a major PPV main event.

Punk takes a victory lap around the ring but won’t shake HHH’s hand. The Game doesn’t seem too mad about it and raises Punk’s hand as the winner. HHH leaves, CM Punk poses, and KEVIN NASH comes in through the crowd and lays out Punk with a Jackknife. Cue Alberto Del Rio, briefcase in hand.

Raw World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. CM Punk

Kick to the head, Del Rio wins the title to end the show. This would turn into one of the stupidest and most ridiculous stories ever with Nash showing a text asking him to lay out Punk but it turned out he sent it to himself for one more moment in the limelight after a big fan reaction at the Royal Rumble. The end result of all this: HHH beating Nash and Punk.

Overall Rating: A. This is a GREAT show with some awesome matches and some great drama at the end. Now to be fair no one knew what the drama would lead to, but it blew my mind when I watched it at first. The rest of the show is awesome though with the worst match being the Divas. If the biggest torture I have to go through all night is looking at Kelly in those shorts and Eve looking gorgeous all dressed up, so be it. Great show here and well worth seeing.

Ratings Comparison

Kofi Kingston/John Morrison/Rey Mysterio vs. Alberto Del Rio/The Miz/R-Truth

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Sheamus vs. Mark Henry

Original: C

Redo: C+

Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Wade Barrett vs. Daniel Bryan

Original: B

Redo: B+

Randy Orton vs. Christian

Original: B+

Redo: A-

CM Punk vs. John Cena

Original: A+

Redo: B+

CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Overall Rating

Original: A+

Redo: A

Ok the main event isn’t THAT good. I think we’re firmly at the point where my ratings are about the same for most matches.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/14/summerslam-2011-that-was-i-need-a-cigarette/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Summerslam Count-Up – Summerslam 2011 (Original): Take Two

Summerslam 2011
Date: August 14, 2011
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

It’s the biggest party of the summer. Wait that was another ad campaign. It’s Summerfest! No wait that’s a Piven botch. It’s Punk vs. Cena II. Well actually more like their 8th match but the second PPV main event. Seriously that’s the extent of the hype for this show. There’s also Christian vs. Orton V or whatever but that’s really minor by comparison. There’s also a mini concert because those have worked oh so well before right? Let’s get to it.

The guitarist from Tool plays a rock version of the Star Spangled Banner. He’s no Man Mountain Rock.

The opening video is about how we’re in LA and LA is awesome. This is like the 4th year in a row it’s been in LA. Might be three but still that’s a ton. There’s another video about how there’s a domino effect in the Punk vs. Cena war. That Bright Lights Bigger City song is growing on me a bit.

Here’s Miz to open the show and he’ll be in a six man tag. He first has something to say. Why am I not surprised? He says he’s returned to Summerslam and wants to thank the fans for insisting he competes tonight. Miz is cut off by Truth who talks about spiders. They start with the letter S, as does Summerslam. Singing also starts with an S and Cee Lo Green is singing tonight. You know what else starts with a C? CONSPIRACY!!! Del Rio cuts him off to save our sanity.

The Miz/Alberto Del Rio/R-Truth vs. Kofi Kingston/Rey Mysterio/John Morrison

Well they had to fill in the card with something. Del Rio gets a face reaction from the Hispanic heavy crowd. Kofi has white shorts now. Morrison, the hometown boy, gets NOTHING. We get a recap of Rey getting jumped by Miz on Monday. The rest of the feuds I think you know. The bell rings almost 15 minutes into the show. Miz vs. Kofi to start us off. There’s a Miz is Awesome chant.

Big monkey flip and a dropkick put Miz down. Off to Morrison and we get double flapjacks/double nipups. Nice fast paced stuff to start so far. Off to Truth vs. Morrison and Truth isn’t afraid anymore. There’s the springboard spin kick (Moonlight Drive I think? It’s the same one Cody uses for the most part) but it only gets two. The heels cheat (EVIL!) and send Morrison to the floor to shift momentum.

Off to Miz who hooks a chinlock which eats up some time. Morrison fights out of it with something resembling a Pele kick (ala AJ) and it’s warm tag Kofi. That cross body is SWEET. Miz takes him down and every heel not named Alberto works him over. Time for Kofi to imitate a long haired blonde guy from the 80s who thought he could sing named Morton for a good while.

We’re just waiting on the hot tag to Rey at this point. And yep there it is. The seated kick to Truth gets two. 619 is broken up and a second is as well. Rey makes up for that by hitting one to Truth and Miz at the same time. Everything breaks down and the faces all start diving like a broke boxer in Vegas. The ring is cleared and Rey hits the top rope splash on Truth for the pin at 9:30.

Rating: B-. Solid opener here which was very fast paced. That’s exactly what the opening match is supposed to be. You had to get a bunch of these guys on the show somehow and this is as good a way as any. I like these random tag matches because you combine feuds and manage to get a fun match too. Not everything needs to have some epic backstory to it to be a good match and this is proof of it. Good stuff.

Johnny Ace demands a public apology from Punk for getting kicked in the head. Well Ace is certainly annoying already so he’s doing his job. Punk mockingly apologizes and Ace leaves. Punk turns around and there’s the still hot Stephanie. She says HHH, Cena and Vince have all wished him good luck. He kind of says she’s brainless and she offers him a handshake anyway. “I would but I know where that hand has been.”

Recap of Henry vs. Sheamus which is basically about Sheamus being the only guy willing to fight Henry. That’s still a cool moment.

Sheamus vs. Mark Henry

I can’t imagine this going long. Sheamus gets in a few shots early on but then the beating begins. Henry hammers on Sheamus and we head to the floor where Henry gorilla presses Sheamus into the ring through the top and middle ropes. That was kind of awesome. Splash gets two. There’s a backbreaker and now an over the shoulder body vice.

The pale one fights out of it and manages to take Henry down for a moment. Emphasis on the moment aspect though as Henry takes him down again. The Vader Bomb misses though and Sheamus starts his comeback. A flying axehandle puts him on the mat and Sheamus starts dropping some knees. He fires off the forearms to the chest when Henry is caught in the ropes.

Sheamus hits the ropes and they collide, sending both guys down for a few seconds. The Irishman hits a top rope shoulder block for two. The cord is of course hot here because it’s LA and it’s a wrestling town. Sheamus pounds his chest but the Brogue Kick misses. Henry tries the World’s Strongest Slam but Sheamus counters and the Brogue Kick sends Henry to the floor. He’s out cold and dead weight now. Naturally since Sheamus is a face now he goes after him and is rammed back first into the post and then through the barricade which explodes. It’s a countout win by Henry at 9:20.

Rating: C. Well it’s Sheamus vs. Mark Henry. What were you expecting here other than power vs. power? This could probably lead to a gimmick match down the line which I wouldn’t be opposed to seeing. They backed themselves into a corner with the booking here though and it was pretty obvious that they weren’t going to do a clean ending here, which is understandable.

Christian is in the back with a big smile on his face. He has an insurance policy and the entire WWE is the beneficiary. Anything goes and we’re in LA, which means the match is going to be like a summer blockbuster like Harry Potter. Well that’s better than a Buff Blockbuster I guess. Oh Christian is Potter while Orton is Cowboys and Alience. I haven’t seen that yet so I can’t make a joke there.

Ad for some movie.

Time to kill off any momentum we had built up in the first 45 minutes with a performance by Cee Lo Green. Since one song wasn’t enough, here’s another with some dancing Divas. Well we’ve just lost 5 minutes of my life.

Divas Title: Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix

Eve and Nattie are here as seconds. Kelly looking good in the tiny shite shorts and Beth in the blue skirt thing. Kelly uses speed to take over and does her gymnastics stuff. I can’t complain about an upskirt shot of Beth. Kelly dives off the middle rope to the floor. That looked decent. Beth remembers that she’s Beth Phoenix and she’s fighting Kelly Kelly so she gets a gorilla hot shot for two. Booker and Jerry as for a wardrobe malfunction. Off to a chinlock as Cole says he’s turned off by Kelly over some photoshopping thing.

Beth hooks an over the shoulder backbreaker but Kelly escapes into a neckbreaker for two. Kelly gets put in the Tree of Woe but escapes via gymnastics. This is kind of stop and go match. Kelly gets all fired up and slams Beth’s head into the mat a few times to come back. She looks spent though. Handspring elbow is caught into the Glam Slam and Kelly rolls through for the pin at 6:20. Yes, that just happened totally clean.

Rating: C+. Given what I was expecting, this was a miracle. It’s nothing great or anything but they tried out there. It’s pretty easily Kelly’s best match ever and that’s not covering a lot but they worked hard and it came off pretty well. I totally don’t get the ending but the plastic chick going over in Hollywood makes sense.

Stephanie comes out of Cena’s locker room.

Jimmy freaking Hart of all people is with R-Truth and says he needs a manager. Truth realizes something: JIMMY IS LITTLE! HE’S LITTLE JIMMY!!! Truth scares him off and talks about the conspiracy, yelling at Ron Artest and his daughter who are just chilling in the back for no apparent reason.

Wade Barrett vs. Daniel Bryan

Mat stuff to start with Barrett in control. Booker talks about Bryan having his lunch today. We had breakfast talk on Friday and now this? Jerry calls Barrett a carnivore which is a decent enough line. SICK looking arm hold into a pin attempt by Bryan. Cole is way off tonight, calling Barrett the submission specialist and thinking Bryan was the carnivore Jerry was talking about.

Cross body gets two for Bryan. There’s a dragon screw legwhip which has Dusty Rhodes freaking out I’m sure. Running dropkick in the corner gets two and it’s surfboard time. Here come the kicks as Bryan channels his inner Rockette. Barrett gets a shot in and takes over again. This has been a match of varying streaks which is usually a formula for good stuff.

Barrett gets a slingshot (thing Blanchard) backbreaker for two and it’s off to a chinlock. The British dude keeps expanding his arsenal with a flying forearm for two. Oh and Bryan has a much shorter haircut now. Barrett gets sent to the floor with a dropkick and a running knee square to the head. That looked SICK. Back inside now and the pumphandle slam is countered into more kicks. Bryan is speeding things up and taking over now.

HARD kicks to the chest but Barrett won’t go down. Ok a big one to the head puts him down. I think he kicked the British out of him. Now Barrett takes over again and loads up Wasteland but Bryan elbows out of it and throws on the guillotine. That doesn’t work and it’s off to the LeBell Lock but Barrett makes the rope. I thought that was the end. This is getting some time too. They go up to the corner and Bryan gets crotched. Barrett gets a middle rope lariat to the crotched Bryan and now he loads Wasteland, which is enough for the clean pin at 11:45.

Rating: B. Match of the night here by far and it was good stuff. They went back and forth hard here and it let both guys showcase themselves really well. Bryan losing here is ok because he didn’t look bad at all. You can lose and not look bad and this is a great example of that. Good match here and I was way into it near the end.

The California National Guard is here.

We recap Christian vs. Orton. Basically Christian played up Orton’s anger management and got him to snap long enough to lose the title at Money in the Bank. Tonight it’s no holds barred. And remember Christian has promised a surprise insurance policy.

The champ comes out first which is odd. He has a mic and says he’s a man of his words. The insurance policy…..IS EDGE???? His haircut is a little weird but he looks about the same. A bit skinnier though which is expected. If I didn’t have to hit the gym every day I certainly wouldn’t.

Edge says that he’ll never be able to wrestle again but he was happy when he left because he was able to pass the torch to Christian. He thought the first defense against Orton was unfair but then Christian started complaining a lot. Christian did win the title back but he did it by disqualification. Edge did a lot of weak things but he did it with style and was never boring.

He didn’t hide behind suits and clipboards. No Edge you hid behind Vickie. Somewhere along the lines Christian became a disgrace to himself. Christian knows he’s better than that but now he’s just a whiner. With that, Edge leaves to a nice ovation. And heeeeeeeeere’s Randy!

Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Randy Orton

No holds barred remember. After some big match intros we’re ready to go. Opening slugout is won by Orton and he hammers the Canadian down in the corner. Christian gets that reverse guillotine thing of his and a jumping back elbow (love that move) gets two. Back body drop sets up the Garvin Stomp and a knee drop for two. They have a ton of time here.

The psychology is working here because they’ve had like 5 matches beforehand to get each others’ moves down, meaning the counters make a lot more sense. Elevated DDT is blocked into a backdrop to the floor. Orton loads up the table but the RKO is counter. Christian grabs the belt and heads into the crowd. The GM computer is there but it hasn’t been used in weeks.

Orton catches him in the crowd and hammers away. Back to ringside now and Christian finds a kendo stick to pound on Orton. He chokes away and shouts a lot and gets two. Christian charges at him in the corner and gets rolled up into a VERY close two count. Spinebuster gets two for the champion. Orton fires off a dropkick to block a kendo stick shot from the middle rope.

Randy is bleeding from the mouth a bit. He starts his finishing sequence and there’s the powerslam. Now he’s got the stick but Christian gets his feet up to break that up. Middle rope dropkick is countered into a jackknife cover for two for Randy. Thesz Press takes Christian down but Christian counters into the Killswitch. That is countered into the backbreaker for two.

Orton grabs some tables from under the ring but Christian spears him into the railing. Cole recaps the show in case someone is flipping through the PPV channels and wants to see if they’re watching the right show they bought I suppose. There’s a table set up at ringside and one in the ring not set up. Orton superplexes Christian onto the unset table but might have hut his tailbone. It only gets two anyway.

The table is already broken but Orton puts it in the corner anyway. Yes slap a cracked table with some of the legs already broken. Nothing could go wrong with that idea. Christian counters the toss into it and hits the reverse DDT. He loads up the spear but Orton jumps over him. RKO is countered and we go back to the floor. Christian goes into the steps and does a nice flip over them.

Now Christian puts Orton’s head into the steps so Randy is going to take a little nap now. Edge’s former brother but now his best friend for life because kayfabe is more powerful than blood drills him with the monitor and I think he says RKO. Christian tries an RKO but Randy has fought the Undertaker a few times so he counters into the RKO of his own and both guys are down.

The fans say this is awesome and they’re getting there. Back in the ring and Orton tries another RKO but Christian counters into the Killswitch for a LONG two. The fans thought it was over. The Spanish announcers are trying to get back on the air which is a funny visual. Christian has a chair now and make it a pair of them. It’s Conchairto time but Christian spits on Orton and takes FOREVER, allowing Orton to get up and crack Christian with the chair. The Canadian goes to the apron and a running shot to the head sends Christian through the table.

Orton still isn’t done as he throws everything he’s got under the ring. There are steps, kendo sticks, garbage cans and the table that is still up in the corner. Christian is on the steps trying to get a breather. Orton puts his foot on the champ’s head and tries a stomp but Christian moves. Powerslam puts Christian through the very end of the table, meaning the rest of it is still standing.

Now it’s stick time and Christian’s back takes a shot. The stick is already bent after two shots. There’s an elevated DDT onto the can. It feels like they’re just killing time for some reason. Orton goes into RKO mode onto the steps but Christian finds a kendo stick from somewhere. He tries to go off the ropes but jumps into an RKO on the steps, giving Orton his 9th world title at 24:36.

Rating: B+. Definitely a good match but they’ve had a better one, probably at Over the Limit. The beating was really good and the ending was SICK. Christian was defeated here and that’s what he needed to have done. They’ll probably have one more blowoff match, hopefully in the Cell which is where this feud could go. After that one though, I don’t know if there’s a point. Still though, very good match that didn’t feel like it was 25 minutes, which is a good thing.

Video about Axxeess while they clear out the ring. There’s a lot of anti-bullying stuff there too. There are some uh….celebrities here I guess they’re called.

Stephanie is talking to HHH but we can’t hear what’s being said.

We recap Punk vs. Cena in the same video we’ve seen three or four times already. I think you get the idea of this already.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. CM Punk

HHH is guest referee and it’s champion vs. champion. This show has been very good so far but if this match is as good as it could be, it hits great. Cult of Personality is a sweet song. We go way old school with a weapons check. Punk is far more popular than Cena. Feeling out process to start. The jean shorts are officially classic. The dueling chants begin and it’s totally domianted by Cena Sucks.

The feeling out process continues and John takes Punk to the mat almost in an amateur style. Now the fans think someone can’t wrestle. This has nearly 40 minutes if need be so they can build very slowly. Cena grabs a chinlock but Punk grabs one of his own including a body vice. Booker is complaining about the technical stuff. Release fisherman’s suplex gets two for John.

We’re seven minutes into this and there hasn’t been anything big yet. Then again it’s not even 10:30 so it’s not like they have to get going immediately. Punk in control and he drops a headbutt and it’s back to the bodyvice. HHH has been pretty inconsequential so far. Cena tries the STF but Punk kicks him off. The crowd is all over Cena tonight. Dropkick knocks Cena off the apron.

Back inside and Punk gets in some kicks to the ribs. There’s an Earthquake for two. Cena fights up but gets caught with a running knee to the head with him against the ropes. He falls onto the mat and fights up into You Can’t See Me. Cena tries the STF but Punk counters into the hold called the Anaconda Vice (Koji Clutch) which is countered into a modified STF. Cole sounds bored out of his mind on the hold.

Punk counters into the real Anaconda Vice (called a keylock) but Cena counters into a Crossface (called a front facelock or something) but Punk gets a rope. Suicide dive takes both guys out. HHH starts the count and both guys are down at 9. Thankfully he stops the count and goes to get them, drawing a round of applause. He throws both guys back in and says let’s go.

Both guys get up and it’s time for the slugout. Cena grabs an AA attempt but Punk escapes, only to get taken down by a SWEET dropkick. There’s the Shuffle but the AA is countered into a sunset flip which is countered into a jackknife cover which is countered into a backslide which is countered into a bridge and a kick to the head for two. AWESOME sequence!

GTS is countered and Cena hits a corner splash. Sitout powerslam gets two as this is getting awesome very quickly. Punk breaks up the top rope Fameasser with a running knee to the head (very popular move anymore) and a bulldog gets two. Punk tries the springboard clothesline but Cena counters into the STF but Punk grabs a rope. The fans are into it but they’re waiting on the HHH stuff I think.

AA is countered into the GTS which is countered into the AA for two. Cena complains to HHH but HHH says it was two. Cena goes up and gets HUGE air on the Fameasser but misses, crashing into the mat and possibly hurting his leg. GTS gets two and Punk is stunned. Punk goes up but is very tired. With a point to the air he drops an elbow for two. That made me smile. Punk’s face is great as he’s shocked.

There’s a Randy Savage chant which is the right idea. Cena grabs a rollup for two and Cena is all fired up. He punches away but Punk grabs a kick to the ribs and another knee to the head. GTS (hit the arm) gets three but Cena’s foot is on the rope. Chant with me: DUSTY FINISH! The pin went down at 24:30.

Rating: A+. It’s not as good as MITB but to call this less than a perfect grade would be unfair. They beat the tar out of each other and had some incredible chemistry as always. These two just have it and there’s no way to teach that. It worked perfectly and the whole thing was great. Cena was all over the place here, trying to prove how well he could work and that’s what he did here. Great match but great in a different way than last month, which is a good thing.

Punk is all happy post match but won’t shake HHH’s hand. HHH holds the arm up and leaves. Of all people KEVIN NASH is in the ring and beats up Punk, leaving him laying with a Jackknife. IT’S ALBERTO!!!

Raw World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. CM Punk

Running enziguri and Del Rio is champion!!!!!!! He celebrates and we’re done. WOW.

Overall Rating: A+. I liked it better than MITB I think and that’s saying a whole lot. There isn’t a single bad match on the whole card as even the Divas were impressive. Great show here with a great pair of main events to end it. This has been an AWESOME summer and a lot of it has been spearheaded by Punk and hopefully it’s not going to end. The ending is great as we have questions, a great match and a new champion. Definitely worth seeing and it’s great for different reasons than MITB, which is a great sign. Great show and the best two show streak for WWE in years.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Summerslam Count-Up – Summerslam 2010 (Original): I Might Have Been Wrong

Summerslam 2010
Date: August 15, 2010
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Matt Striker, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Well we’re back again for the *insert Summerfest joke here* show. This is the epitome of a one match show as EVERYTHING has been about the Nexus invasion. The theory is that Cena turns tonight but I’m not sold on it. Nexus more or less has to win tonight or the angle is worthless. I’m not sold on this card very well at all, but it’s starting now so let’s get to it.

The opening is of course all about Nexus, which makes sense. The arena and set look great as this really is a huge show.

Intercontinental Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston

Pretty clear that Dolph retains here. Vickie does her usual whining and catchphrase here just to be annoying. Nice pop for Kofi but nothing great. We’re in MALTA BABY! Kofi misses a dive to start and is in trouble early on. Apparently the tag titles either aren’t major titles or his win is forgotten into the Rocker Tag Title Book of History. King makes a joke about liking 11s or 12s. On a 1-10 scale you freaking perverts.

Dolph is mostly dominant here as he hooks a chinlock. Kofi can’t get the “controlled frenzy” going according to Cole. Does everything have to have a name now? Dolph gets two on a roll thru of a cross body. We get a Fameasser reference from Striker as it makes Kofi famous. Even Lawler chuckles at it. He’s more energetic tonight for some reason. Trouble in Paradise misses, which might be because OF THE MASSIVE CHANTING OF BOOM BOOM BOOM by Kofi.

Sleeper goes on….AND HERE THEY COME? Yes, Nexus hits the ring and beats them up before circling Kofi. The big beatdown follows as I have a bad feeling about where this show is going. Barrett says this is a preview of later tonight. Expect a Kofi run-in later. Nexus is united apparently.

Rating: C+. Not a bad match for what they had, but the ending is very strange. This wasn’t bad, but with no ending like this it really hurt things. I really do expect the Cena turn now for some reason, which is why it likely won’t happen. Anyway, this needed a finish to be good but even still it’s decent.

Jericho wants Miz on the team tonight and so does Edge. Edge eating a Slim Jim is epic for no reason at all. They say he could be a huge star but doesn’t say yes.

Alicia Fox vs. Melina

Well at least this should be short. Melina has a freaking headdress on and she looks like a freaking idiot. Fox is attractive with straight hair. Shame that’s not the case here. Melina is in the skin colored tights which are always weird looking. Melina is the hometown girl so she’s all awesome and such apparently. Yep this is boring. It’s not bad, but seriously does ANYONE care about this match?

Still waiting on something to happen here. Melina might have hurt her knee on a move from the ropes. Alicia of course does nothing about it. Nice superkick by Melina. This is just boring me to death but Melina’s gyrations are helping a bit. That girl could make a KILLING as a stripper. After FAR too long, Melina wins with more or less a weird snapmare. Apparently it’s called the Mind Trip. Ok then.

After the win, cue Laycool to annoy Melina. They say this is awesome and want to take a picture with “two champions” in it so hopefully this will lead to a unification thing soon. Brawl ensues and the worst kick every by Michelle misses by at least 8 inches. Laycool’s music continues to be awesome. Michelle does a knee into the tables to put down Melina for a good while.

Rating: D. This was pretty bad. The ending came out of nowhere but thankfully it ended a bad match. I’m very glad to see that there might be a unification soon, but will anyone care even after that? It’s definitely the right move but with people like Fox chasing it then the whole thing is in trouble. Not a good match.

After a quick recap of the SES vs. Show, we go to this.

Straightedge Society vs. Big Show

How appropriate to have this after that video package. It’s Mercury, Punk and Gallows. Show dominates Mercury and Gallows in about a minute to get us to Punk, who gets face cheers. Oh and Show’s hand is fine. Gallows and Mercury get back up and the 3-1 beatdown begins.

Show comes back of course as it occurs to me that Punk has the most hair of anyone out there. Punk goes for the springboard clothesline and gets caught by the throat. He kicks Show in the head which was cool looking. Cole calls a bulldog a DDT because he’s a stupid man. Punk does a bunch of strikes to the hand and it just ticks Show off. Punk gets knocked to the floor and leaves. Mercury gets chokeslammed and pinned while on top of Gallows. Here lies the SES.

Rating: D+. Pretty weak here as more or less we knew it was just going to be Show winning in the end due to his huge size advantage. This was an ok match and the ending advances the story, but dang man why do they have to crush the SES again? For once could they actually let something go on for more than a month without crippling it?

Kane talks to the casket and Sheamus of all people comes up, saying he’d like to borrow the casket to put Orton in. Kane says no. Sheamus says stay out of his way and Kane yells at him. Odd moment but cool potential.

And here’s Miz. The Raw title match is next so he has a reason to be here. He wants to know if he should be on the team. The fans cheer but he doesn’t care what they think. Allegedly Hart and Cena begged for him to be on the team. He talks about every person on the team and how they’ve all done things to get him on the team. Awesome promo but he wants the fans to admit it. After a HUGE delay, he says yes he’ll be on the team. Cole orgasms loudly.

We recap Orton vs. Sheamus, which isn’t much at all. Orton won a match and now he’s the number one contender. The hype for this has more or less not existed.

Raw World Title: Sheamus vs. Randy Orton

Orton is in purple and Sheamus is in green, making this just freaking weird looking. Sheamus powers him back to start which is odd since he’s kind of quietly powerful. Slow start here which should be a good sign but I’m not sure here. They tease a countout and Orton is dominating which is a weird formula for a match.

This is just boring as they’re going WAY too slow. Orton’s arm gets worked on and the elevated DDT is reversed into a backdrop. Sheamus is in control and not much is going on. He hits basic moves and covers. This is apparently the main event and it started about 5 minutes after 9. He gets technical with a drop toehold to put Orton down.

Sheamus likes to use a double axehandle which is kind of a cool move for him to use. More people should use it. When I say more I mean like one total. Sheamus at least works on the arm which is the right idea if nothing else. Orton gets the backbreaker as this is just DRAGGING. The boo/yay cheers start up for punching. Orton does his usual array of clotheslines as I fight off sleep due to this.

Middle rope suplex gets two for the guy with non-mayonnaise colored skin. Sheamus hits his backbreaker for two which of course Cole is surprised by when the kickout happens. Brogue Kick misses though and Sheamus hits the floor. There’s the DDT but the RKO is countered which surprised me. He shoved him off and it legit looks like he hit it from both angles. Clearly countered though which was cool.

High Cross and RKO are both countered but Orton walks into the Brogue Kick for two as the fans are into this now. That’s the issue with WWE Title matches: you don’t have to get into them for a long time and everyone knows it so for the first ten minutes no one cares. Sheamus gets a chair and shoves the referee out for the CHEAP DQ.

Rating: D+. Oh this was bad. The ending crippled the actually solid last 5 minutes or so as the rest of this was just flat out boring. The slow style of both guys crippled each other and the ending had me shaking my head at how freaking dumb it was. I don’t get this at all as if nothing else have Sheamus get the chair shot and win that way but dang man, this was freaking stupid.

Post match Orton snaps and hits the RKO on the table. Good for him. Table didn’t break so at least it looked good. Sheamus is announced as still champion which should make us wait for either HHH or Miz’s theme music. Naturally we get the Legendary trailer.

We recap the way overdone Rey vs. Kane issue, which comes down to one thing: how would Rey know who did it? This took almost five minutes.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Kane

Kane brings the casket with him. Striker even throws out a quick summary of the Taker/Kane childhood which you NEVER hear anymore. Kane goes right for him and gets kicked in the knee. They talk about the keys to victory and King says that Rey’s potential innocence should help him win. Uh, what? Striker thinks this is speed vs. power. You can’t buy commentary like this people!

Kane takes over and we slow it down again. He gets a baseball slide which is cool looking. Can you imagine Kane playing baseball? That’s just funny for some reason. 619 is blocked and Kane takes his head off with a clothesline. We’re clearly just filling in time until the finish. It’s been mostly Kane here and as soon as I say that Kane goes into the post. Rey hits a flying battering ram move but Kane takes over AGAIN with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, a cool move.

Cole likes to talk about people being in the box. Kane wants the referee to ASK HIM. He’s been chilling with Jericho I guess. Top rope rana is blocked and Rey’s knee might be hurt. Wait wasn’t his ankle hurt on Smackdown? Springboard Splash misses so Rey just kicks Kane in the head. Well that works if nothing else. After more uneventful stuff, the 619 is blocked and Rey gets thrown into the casket.

The casket is closed and you know Taker will be in it soon. Chokeslam is blocked and 619 hits. Rey gets two off a counter to a counter to the springboard splash as the end is clearly near. Chokeslam hits to retain THANK GOODNESS!

Rating: C-. Better than the last match as at least this had an ending. It was still boring but Kane winning clean is a nice perk. You know it’ll wind up being Kane vs. Taker but Kane getting a clean win like this is good for him because he flat out needs them for some credibility. Not horrible but I’ve seen worse.

Post match Kane says he’s going to put Rey in the casket and opens it, showing that it’s empty. Two chokeslams and a tombstone (sick one too) and of course Taker is in the casket. He goes for Rey and asks if he’s heard of an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth? Taker asks him why he did it but Rey insists it wasn’t him. Hand around throat and the throat slit sign but he turns to Kane. Kane breaks Taker’s grip and tombstones him, leaving him laying. These guys are on and off more than all the high school relationships in history. Yep Kane is the heel again.

Ad for Smackdown on Sci-Fi.

Clips of Summerslam Axxess which looks awesome.

Recap of Nexus vs. Cena’s Army. If you don’t know this by now, go read the Raw recaps since I’m sick of this story.

Nexus vs. R-Truth/Edge/Chris Jericho/Miz/John Cena/Bret Hart/John Morrison

Remember that this is elimination. This should go for a LONG time. New shirt for Cena. Miz comes out last and Cena has something to say. Cena has a replacement, and it’s DANIEL BRYAN. The really weird thing here is that there was an article up on WWE.com where it spoiled this half an hour before it happened. That’s very freaky and I can’t imagine the speech he got because of it.

Nexus vs. R-Truth/Edge/Chris Jericho/Daniel Bryan/John Cena/Bret Hart/John Morrison

BIG brawl to start as Cole runs down Bryan every second because he has to. The official starters are Bryan and Young. This should be quick. Hey I’m right as Bryan gets a crossface and Young is out in like 30 seconds. That evens things out since Hart is more or less worthless. Gabriel and Jericho are in now and don’t expect every tag to be mentioned since it’s going to be very fast paced.

Tarver comes in and throws a lot of punches. Morrison gets a nice pop as the hometown boy. Flash Kick and Starship Pain put Tarver down to make it 7-5. He landed on his back this time so we’ll call that a success. Barrett wants a huddle. Sheffield comes in and boxes with Morrison kind of as Nexus takes over. The fans want Bret as it’s all Sheffield. Morrison makes a comeback but walks into a kick by Gabriel and the clothesline from Sheffield to make it 6-5.

Sheffield hits Truth in like 30 seconds to tie it up. Jericho comes in and gets beaten down. Why do they keep calling them Team WWE? Nexus is in WWE officially right? Jericho vs. Barrett is an interesting match actually. Bret and Slater come in as Cena hasn’t been in yet, which is rather interesting. Bret does basic stuff and gets the Sharpshooter but there’s a chair in. Sheffield gets the tag and Bret pops him with the chair for reasons of basic stupidity. That’s the best way to get rid of him since he can’t take a power move due to his health so there isn’t another way to do it really.

As a recap it’s Cena/Edge/Jericho/Bryan vs. Sheffield/Barrett/Slater/Otunga/Gabriel. Sheffield gets up and walks into the Codebreaker. Spear ties us up at 4. Gabriel gets a SICK spin kick on Edge. The kick itself was just ok but the impact looked great. Barrett and Edge slow us down a bit. Edge gets a spinwheel kick which is one of his old moves. I haven’t seen him use that in forever.

Otunga comes in and is booed out of the building. Edge hits the Edgecution and gets a face pop for it. Not sure whether it’s for Edge or against Otunga but whatever. Edge gets the tag but STILL no Cena. This is certainly compelling. Lionsault hits and Striker says HE HIT IT! Jericho loses the Walls for a bit but Otunga eventually taps to get us to 4-3 Team Cena. Jericho is wrestling like Lionheart here and a BIG Y2J chant starts. I still want a Jericho face title run.

And he runs into Cena, resulting in Slater hitting his Zig Zag for the tie. Cena and Edge both want in and Edge yells while Bryan plays peacemaker. Slater runs Edge into Cena and rolls him up to get Jericho and Edge in less than a minute. Edge and Jericho beat up Cena before leaving. Jericho: YOU’RE A STUPID MAN! Cena/Bryan vs. Slater/Barrett/Gabriel. Cena is finally in now and gets his head kicked in.

Very good match so far as Nexus has looked STRONG. Cena can’t get anything going and Cole will not shut up about Bryan. Gabriel gets a DDT on Cena that looked good. Everyone beats on Cena and as I say that we get a double clothesline. Bryan comes in and cleans house, using a freaking big boot. Striker wants Cattle Mutilation. Where’s PETA when you need them?

Cena is down on the floor which makes me wonder where this is going. Cena as heel vs. Bryan as face? After a lot of GOOD stuff from Bryan he gets Slater to tap. And cue Miz with the briefcase to blast Bryan and make it 2-1 with Barrett/Gabriel vs. Cena. Cena is more or less dead though despite not being beaten down past anything overly special. He goes into the ending sequence though after a missed Gabriel splash in the corner.

FU doesn’t work as Gabriel makes the tag and Nexus takes over again. It’s a massive beatdown here as Cena has NOTHING. The two guys pull the mats on the floor back and Barrett hits a DDT on the exposed concrete. Gabriel gets tagged in and the 450 MISSES! Cena rolls up Gabriel and instantly gets the STFU on Barrett for the TAP AND THE WIN!

Rating: B+. This was very good. They booked it perfectly, including the ending. As I said in the LD, Cena moved, covered, did a drop toehold, laid on Barrett’s back and pulled. THAT’S IT. That’s how he beat them both. He wasn’t doing an FU to both guys after escaping their finishers and hitting 4 shoulder blocks each. He outmoved them and it worked fine. Nexus looked solid out there and the whole thing looked fine. This was a good match and well done. It certainly wasn’t bad and is nowhere near what people are making it out to be. I loved this and it made the show for the most part.

Overall Rating: B. This was a good show, but it’s a kind that would need a footnote. This is the definition of a one match show. I don’t mean one match is great and the rest suck. I mean this was built around one single match and nothing else on the card mattered at all. Other than the 7 on 7 match, what else was hyped at all?

Luckily, that match was very good and hit on all cylinders. The rest of the card is ok, but it could have been better. The Orton/Sheamus ending was just bad. Kane overpowering Taker is interesting as it actually gives us some intrigue. This was a good show overall, powered mainly by the main event’s success. Not worth seeing much other than the main, but that’s expected with a show like this.

 

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Smackdown – August 13, 2021: He Showed Up

Smackdown
Date: August 13, 2021
Location: BOK Center, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

We have two shows to go before Summerslam and John Cena is actually on TV this week. For some reason he has been around for the last few weeks working dark matches but hasn’t shown up on the actual shows. He’s here tonight to face Roman Reigns though and that needs to be great. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is John Cena to get things going. After we get a quick look at how Cena vs. Roman Reigns was set up, Cena says that since school is back in session, it is time to give Roman his report card. Reigns gets a D, because he is a D-head, a D-bag and a D-isappointment. At Summerslam Reigns is getting an F, but for now though, it is time to have a pop quiz. The fans are asked if they think Reigns will beat him up at Summerslam and they don’t quite buy it. Cena admits that he will take a beating at Summerslam but he’s also beating Reigns.

Cue Reigns and Paul Heyman for a chat after a break. Back with Reigns saying “let’s get to it” but Cena says he is going to wait for a week from tomorrow on the grandest stage of them all. Cena says he is back because Reigns is full of himself and Cena is the only one who can shut him up. Reigns has been a failure for a decade now despite how hard WWE has pushed him. No one has a chance with him not though and that’s why WWE asked him to come back.

Cena polls the fans about which team they’re on but Reigns says he was hoping for something fresh. Give him something to cut him already. Cena says Reigns is going to give him a bunch of spears and big punches while the slimy guy holds up the title in the corner. Reigns is going to beat him up but all Cena has to do is pin him. The reality is that Cena is here to help him, which Reigns finds funny.

Reigns doesn’t bury his opponent and then beat them because he does things differently. He knows Cena is on the Mt. Rushmore of WWE and balances Hollywood on top of that. Cena is good enough to verbally joust with anyone and main event Summerslam with the Tribal Chief. He’s good enough to win the WWE Title but not enough to win the Universal Title. Reigns: “Twenty plus years of missionary might have been good enough for you, but it wasn’t good enough for Nikki Bella.” You can hear the fans (and Cena) gasp on that one and Reigns promises to win at Summerslam.

Cena laughs back at him and says Reigns has been protected by the Shield but he even ran Dean Ambrose out of WWE. He has five Wrestlemania main events in ten years and everything behind him but he still needs to be embarrassed. Cena knows what he has to do at Summerslam because he already beat Suplex City.

All he has to do is hang in there and get the 1-2-3 and Reigns is done. If Cena pulls it off once, Reigns becomes the answer to a trivia question. At Summerslam, the champ is gone, 1-2-3. They cranked it up here and I want to see the match more than I did before, but the Nikki Bella line was the only bombshell and it doesn’t mean as much with Cena married to someone else. Adding in the idea that Reigns has something to prove was a good idea though, as that part hasn’t really been touched on enough.

Intercontinental Title: King Nakamura vs. Apollo Crews

Crews is defending and has Commander Azeez with him, as canceled out by Rick Boogs. Nakamura takes him down to start but an Azeez distraction lets Crews elbow him in the face. That just earns him the running knee to the ribs in the corner, which draws Azeez up. Boogs guitars him down so both of them are ejected as we take a break.

Back with Crews catching him on top for a superplex and following with a powerbomb for two. The frog splash misses but Crews catches him with a jumping enziguri for two more, with the referee catching the feet on the ropes. Back up and Nakamura grabs a suplex, followed by Kinshasa to give Nakamura the pin and the title at 10:11.

Rating: C. Nice back and forth match here and it’s a good idea to give Nakamura the title. He has been doing well with the Boogs stuff and the crown makes it a bonus. They could probably shift away from the crown now that he has the title, which would free things up for a new King of the Ring. Crews was fine as champion in the short term, but this is the better choice of the two options.

Nakamura, Boogs and McAfee celebrate.

Video on the Alpha Academy beating down the Street Profits and putting them on the shelf.

The Street Profits are ready for revenge.

Street Profits vs. Alpha Academy

Gable takes Ford down by the arm to start but gets headscissored for the escape. Otis comes in so Dawkins does the same, only to get caught in a fall away slam. It’s back to Gable for the shoulders in the corner before holding his towel up like a bullfighter. Dawkins gets over for the tag to Ford as everything breaks down. Ford knocks Otis outside for the big dive (which nearly landed in a faceplant as he almost over rotated). At the same time, Dawkins hits the double underhook swinging neckbreaker for the pin on Gable at 3:38.

Rating: C-. This was fine enough as a way for the Profits to get their revenge but it wouldn’t surprise me to see them do this again later. Why would they do that? Well because WWE doesn’t know how to end a feud and would rather keep things going with rematches that don’t change much of anything.

Here is Seth Rollins for a chat. He hates to be the bearer of bad news but Edge is not here tonight. It’s cool though because you get Edge-Lite, as Edge dubbed him last week. Edge cannot stand the fact that Rollins’ career has been a bit better and Rollins has a video to prove it.

We see some of Edge’s greatest moments, with each one followed by Rollins doing something similar. The video wraps up with the Rollins attack on Edge in 2014, which I don’t think I’ve thought of since it happened. Back in the arena, Rollins talks about how he did Edge a favor by not stomping him in 2014. Now Edge has a movie career and gets to push his daughters on the swings instead of them pushing a wheelchair. The fans want Edge, but Rollins gets in close to the camera to say he’ll Stomp Edge at Summerslam no matter what it does. The video worked well, as did actually showing the 2014 deal.

Rey Mysterio wants Dominik to stay hungry going into the Summerslam title match.

Bobby Roode/Dolph Ziggler vs. Rey Mysterio/Dominik Mysterio

Roode wastes no time with a spinebuster to Rey and hands it off to Ziggler, who gets taken down with a top rope seated senton. The hot tag brings in Dominik to clean house but the Usos pop up on the Titantron to cheer for Dominik. Rey tells him not to get distracted though and it’s a victory roll to pin Roode at 3:26.

Rating: C. Just a match here but the Usos are so far ahead of the Mysterios at the moment here and it will be nice to move on from this feud. I get why they changed the titles already but this is the most lame duck title match in a long time. Not a bad match, but we saw these teams fight so many times and it is hard to care about it again.

We look back at the Cena vs. Reigns summit earlier.

Here is Baron Corbin for one last bit of begging for money. He is at the end of his rope and almost has to file for bankruptcy, but he needs about $1000 from everyone here. Corbin even has a credit card swiping thing on his phone. Cue Kevin Owens, with Corbin saying he is willing to try a Canadian credit card.

That’s not why Owens is out here though, because he finds Corbin pathetic. Who asks someone for $100,000 like he did with Drew McIntyre on Smackdown. Owens is willing to give Corbin a thousand bucks if Corbin can beat him here tonight. Otherwise, Corbin has to shut up with this begging for money. Corbin calls Owens a cheapskate and gets Stunned.

Baron Corbin vs. Kevin Owens

At least Corbin gets a break before the match, allowing him to roll Owens up for two. Owens is back with a suplex into a backsplash for two of his own. The Cannonball gets the same but Corbin knocks him off the apron with the big right hand. Corbin stomps away but the suplex on the apron is blocked. Owens loads up a powerbomb, which is countered into a backdrop to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Owens breaking up a superplex and hitting a Swanton for two. The chokeslam and Deep Six give Corbin two each and he sends Owens into the post. The rollup with feet on the ropes gets two more and Corbin counters the Stunner. A sunset flip out of nowhere gives Owens the pin at 9:50.

Rating: C. This story continues to intrigue me as Corbin was willing to fight for his money but now can’t beg anymore. That means he might be able to do something like work for his money, which could get him cheered. That might not be a bad thing these days and it should be interesting to see where they go from here.

Post match, Owens throws in a bonus Stunner.

Post break, Corbin is asked what he is going to do…..so he steals Big E.’s Money in the Bank contract and runs off.

It’s time for the Bianca Belair/Sasha Banks contract signing with Sonya Deville running things. Belair talks about how great Banks is but Banks calls her out for the hair whip at Wrestlemania. The fight is almost on but Sonya says this isn’t happening. Banks wants some witnesses so here are Carmella and Zelina Vega. Both women sign and Belair starts the fight in a hurry. Belair does ok for a bit but the numbers game gets the better of her, allowing Banks to get in a cheap shot. The Bank Statement, using Belair’s hair, on the table lets Banks hold up the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was about the pushes towards Summerslam and that worked out rather well. I’m excited for the show, which is feeling like it could be something big. Now all they have to do is live up to that hype and we could be in for a heck of a show. That has been the case for a long time in WWE though and the pieces are there to make it work this time around. Good show this week, but not their best ever.

Results
King Nakamura b. Apollo Crews – Kinshasa
Street Profits b. Apollo Academy – Double underhook swinging neckbreaker to Gable
Rey Mysterio/Dominik Mysterio b. Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode – Victory roll to Roode
Kevin Owens b. Baron Corbin – Sunset flip

 

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Summerslam Count-Up – Summerslam 2009 (Original) They’re At It Again

Summerslam 2009
Date: August 23, 2009
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 17,129
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Josh Matthews

With another year under our belts since the previous Summerslam, our main feuds are Cena and Orton and Punk (woo!) and Hardy. As many of you may likely know, this very well could be Hardy’s last match with the company. Our other big deal is the return (again) of DX, this time facing Legacy.

While a lot of people have criticized this, the segment that they had on Raw was excellent in my eyes. Shawn is a guy that can just come from nowhere and have a great match. The card actually looks pretty freaking sweet tonight. That doesn’t mean it’ll be good, but let’s get to this.

I liked the Summerslam logo this year. It looked a bit old school. The intro is hijacked by DX doing shadow puppets, but they freeze it on Legacy. Apparently this was the kiss cam and Cody loves Ted. Ted says ditto. So he loves himself I guess?

Anyway, they have some shenanigans going on which are kind of funny. I like the DX comedy sometimes. It’s not going to be the 90s version, so why compare it to that? It was fairly funny, involving DX breaking the feed of the intro and Shawn trying to fix it. It’s better than it sounds.

JR does the opening alone. That’s just odd. I like Aerosmith though so I’m not complaining about the music. As has become the custom, no buildup for the first match.

Intercontinental Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Dolph Ziggler

I’m quite surprised this is opening. This is a rematch from NOC as well, which allegedly was brought on by Rey simply whining about not having a long enough reign yet. Based on that, I think the title change is coming here but odder things have happened before. They had a great match last month so I’m assuming this will be good too. Ziggler is growing on me, but I have a hard time getting on Kerwin White.

Rey comes out first. Why? He’s the champion. Now we get Grisham to talk so that’s an improvement I guess. I like the purple and gold on him. It’s almost reminiscent of his WCW days but not quite. I miss the big semi-circle video screen that they used to have for Summerslam. Ross forgot Ziggler’s first name. How dare he forget the real name of Ivan Drago? Ziggler’s music is awesome. How did Kerwin White actually keep a job this long?

Just goes to show you that you can’t make fun of wrestlers when they have horrible gimmicks. Other than Santino of course. He will always suck. The graphic of the belt looks very cool for some reason. Wow the IC belt is actually opening the show. That’s an odd thing to think of. Ziggler is freaking ripped. I’m getting close, dangerously close actually, to liking this guy.

Love that quick powerslam that’s done coming off of the ropes. It just looks awesome. Ok, that moonsault was SWEET. Rey doesn’t do his old style often, but when he does it’s freaking amazing. Ziggler has leopard print gloves. That’s either really stupid or really awesome. That was a pretty weak corner powerbomb. I guess Rey’s size makes up for it. This has been pretty hard hitting so far. What more can you ask for?

Apparently Rey makes a habit out of getting people in the corner and drop toe holding them. Yeah I’ve never seen him do that in the corner either. Thank you JR. Dolph just kills him with a clothesline afterwards. That looked awesome. He used a Stinger Splash. He has to be cool. Sick looking head bump on the post from it too. Rey goes for a springboard reverse crossbody but Dolph hits a perfect dropkick to the ribs. That was sweet.

This is a very good match. And there it is. We have our stupid way to get into position for the 619. My only criticism of Dolph is his offense is a bit basic. If he upgrades that he’ll be very good. He’s rocking the bad Mr. Perfect haircut though, so I’m not wild about that either. I kind of like the white ropes, but I’m not sure.

Ziggler finally avoids the springboard splash in the most basic way of all: he sits up. Why is that so complicated for some people? The fans are chanting for Ziggler here, which is surprising but also good I guess. Rey gets a hurricanrana from the top to win and keep the title in a very good match.

Rating: A-. This was a GREAT opener. It was fast paced, it was solid, and the face won. I’m hyped for the rest of the show and it’s 330 in the morning. That’s exactly what an opening match is supposed to be. See how effective the IC belt can be when it’s not being used in bad comedy angles? Ziggler looks awesome here which is all you can ask for. See what they do on Smackdown? They have the veterans make the young guys look good. That’s how you keep the future going people.

Josh is in the back with Swagger and MVP who say that tonight there’s a culture clash. Both are solid on the mic here, but Swagger impresses me a lot more. He’s got the heel character down to a T and the cockiness is perfect. MVP is good, but not as good. Also, he talks about how Swagger has this great background and was a rich kid. Ok, that’s fine, but he still won with athleticism in the NCAA. Swagger won this promo war with ease and he’s making the DDP two time two time thing better.

King and Lawler say nothing of importance.

Jack Swagger vs. MVP

My goodness…could it be? I mean, it’s impossible isn’t it? This couldn’t be…a regular non-title midcard match? I…I think it is! Now, can you find anyone that actually thinks MVP has a chance? His face turn has been a complete disaster as he’s just cut out to be the cocky heel. Go back to it already. After those promos, I’m looking forward to this. The opening 25 minutes to this has been pretty sweet so far.

MVP goes for the Ballin Elbow about 19 seconds into this, but because it takes longer than that to set it up, it doesn’t work. I don’t get why these two are having this match anyway, since Swagger pinned him clean already on Raw. This is a very slow paced match and the fans aren’t liking it that much. They’re way behind the face though as he’s in the Monsoon Special, which I’m sure Gorilla would find something wrong with.

Looking at it, it is pretty sloppy. Sick clothesline stops MVP’s comeback though. Into a half camel clutch which wouldn’t actually hurt but now it’s full. At least Swagger knows how to hurt people. Ok, Swagger gets knocked down and MVP sets up for the Ballin Elbow. I timed him on this: SIXTEEN SECONDS from the time that he got in position to the time it connected. That’s over 5 pins. Seriously, could you not just cover the guy in that amount of time?

They fight a bit more…and MVP wins clean with the playmaker? What the heck? MVP actually won this thing and he did it clean. How in the world did that happen? I’m genuinely surprised by that, and I don’t think it’s in a good way. AGAIN they mention the chick from The View. WE GET IT!

Rating: C. This was fine, but short and surprising. It certainly wasn’t bad, but at just 6 and a half minutes they didn’t have the time to get anything going. There were some bad spots in there too where it was just flat out boring, but luckily they were quick. Again, not bad, but it’s really nothing special. It felt like a Raw match.

Don’t try this at home. Good advice actually.

Luke Perry is here. I don’t care.

We get a recap of the guest hosting thing, which I think has gone well. ZZ Top was awful but other than that, I think it’s gone well. I still want to murder Dr. Ken though. It’s worked for one simple reason in my eyes: for the most part, they’ve gotten people that either have a ton of charisma or seem like legit WWE fans. That’s all you can ask for really.

Nancy O’Dell reads off a script about her charity. Yeah that’s fine. It’s for ALS, aka Lou Gehrig’s Disease. She talks to people like Freddie Prinze Jr…and that’s it. She’s apparently going to host Raw in the future. I’ll be reading something that night. She’s very annoying.

Tag Titles: Big Show/Jericho vs. Cryme Tyme

Speaking of annoying, I don’t like the champion’s new music. This has actually been built up pretty well I’d think, with Show being the partner to replace Edge when he got hurt. It seemed to me that was a last second decision, but whatever. Cryme Tyme is one of the oddest teams I can ever remember. They’ve never actually done anything, so maybe they will here. I’m not holding my breath though.

Actually, this match has gotten the third most build, which isn’t what I expected. However, I’m certainly glad to see a tag title match getting this kind of TV time. It’s what the belts really need. Again the champions come out first. Jericho runs down celebrities in general. Isn’t he a celebrity as well? Oh apparently he’s a superstar, which isn’t a celebrity. That…doesn’t make a lot of sense.

For the second time in 2 minutes we hear that they have over 40 titles between them. Show looks like he’s losing a bit of weight. That’s a good thing. Cryme Tyme interrupts Show’s promo. Remember what I said about the show being good so far? They just ruined it. They’re just freaking annoying to say the least. What have they ever actually accomplished? Oh yeah they got fired for being annoying.

JR makes another reference that no one gets. There’s no way that the faces are winning here, due to reasons of suck, but maybe at least we can get a decent match out of it. Yeah that’s not going to happen I don’t think. Jericho goes for the walls but instead goes for a slingshot. JTG just kind of jumps on him, which looks sloppy and stupid as usual. Grisham says that they’re trying to turn Hollywood into Holly-hood. Take me now.

JTG has to stay in there longer than he should simply because Shad sucks. He’s a beast as far as his look goes though, and he’s able to stand up to Show in the size department. Yeah he’s a lot better on defense. Show is freaking scary to say the least. Jericho whispers a spot to Shad which looks really bad. It’s never good when it’s on a major PPV and a veteran has to carry a team that’s been around as long as Cryme Tyme has been.

I think that’s my real issue with them: they’ve been around for a good few years and they just never get any better. The full nelson is applied, and of course we have the eternal question: WHO WAS NELSON? Maybe Babyface Nelson? Anybody? Anybody? I’ll be here all night. Jericho puts another hold on him, which makes sense because it’s really all Shad can do: get put in holds and sit there. It’s a scary thing when JTG is the bright spot of the team. Yeah this team is awful.

Jericho gets him in the Walls, and amazingly, he doesn’t tap. Seriously, can they bury this move any more than they already have? It’s just stupid how it doesn’t work on anyone at all anymore. When’s the last time someone tapped to it? Anyway, Show hits the punch for the knockout and Jericho gets the glory.

I’m really starting to like this team dynamic as Jericho does all the talking but Show wins the matches for them. At the very end of the segment, Ross mentions Big Show is undefeated at Summerslam. See, that is an interesting stat, and it would have been a lot more interesting at the beginning of the match.

Rating: D+. Yeah this was boring. Shad is just flat out awful, and JTG is just ok. The only reason they get over is their gimmick and nothing more. That’s just flat out boring in all aspects and nothing good comes of it. I can’t stand them and there was just nothing they could do here to make this interesting at all.

Ad for Breaking Point. Interesting concept, but I’m not sold on it. The main events only thing makes me feel better though.

Josh is with Punk who says a movie script he found called the Jeff Hardy story. He runs down LA and the lifestyle there and elsewhere, which yet again, rings amazingly true on so many levels. Every single thing that Punk has said in his promos has been true, and it’s amazing to say the least.

Kane vs. Great Khali

Again, no transition at all. I like Kane’s music here. Once Kane is in the ring, we actually get a long recap, which could have gone…I don’t know, before his entrance so it’s not him just standing there in the ring? This is an intriguing match to me as they’ve had a fairly long build with no official match. That’s a nice plus for a change as it gives this a bit more of a build. Now, if they manage to have a passable match, then we have proof that HBK/God vs. the McMahons was indeed a tag team match.

The reveal of Singh as Khali’s brother was pretty boring but it gives it a bit of a reason for being around Khali so much. Hopefully, this will be short and painless, but I’m not betting on that. JR mentions that Kane is on a four match winning streak at Summerslam. See? That’s another interesting stat and it makes you wonder if he can extend it here tonight. It’s small, but it adds a tiny bit more to the match and might get people more interested in it.

That’s what a commentator is supposed to do: offer insight. When you watch a DVD and listen to a special commentary, you’re listening for insights, maybe some numbers or stories that you wouldn’t know otherwise. That’s what wrestling commentators are supposed to do, but it so rarely happens which is a shame. JR says it’s a bowling shoe match, meaning we’re sorry that this is going to suck so badly.

A lot of this is just Khali showing off how strong he is, which is fine I guess, but I’d like more action. Khali misses a bad looking legdrop and then just sits there. He doesn’t sell anything or anything like that, but just sits there for the low dropkick. Kane apparently sees evil and likes it. I guess that’s why See No Evil sucked: Kane just wasn’t motivated. They fight over their respective chokeslams but that goes nowhere. Oh this is bad. It’s just so freaking sloppy.

To be fair though, what do you expect from two monsters like these? Khali with a sick sounding chop. The top rope clothesline puts Khali down and gets two. He doesn’t really kick out but it’s implied his shoulder was up. JR brings up an interesting point: if Khali quit in his language, would the referee understand it? Amazingly, the Khali chop isn’t enough for a pin. Geez Khali’s hands are freaking massive.

Kane hits a running dropkick to the knee and a running DDT for the win. That finish was kind of awesome actually. I love that Kane didn’t use a bad chokeslam to win it. That’s what I want to see more of in the WWE today: wrestlers winning with moves other than their finishers. It’s not really that hard to do and it works very well I think. Do it more often.

Rating: D+. Oy this was bad indeed. It was very sloppy, but the ending made it a lot better. Also, it was less than 6 minutes. See, that’s intelligent booking. You know these two aren’t going to have a great match, so keep it short. That makes a lot of sense and it made things a lot better than they could have been.

Some hot woman from a talk show is here. Slash is here too, so it’s closer to making me care. Robert Patrick is here.

We hit the recap button on DX vs. Legacy. This one is pretty short. HHH kept getting his head kicked in by them so he said he’d make one phone call. It wound up being about three but he eventually found Shawn as a cook in a diner in San Antonio, in what I thought was a very funny segment. This was followed up by Legacy actually beating them down in a run in on Raw a few days prior to this which at least made this look possible.

Oddly, the stuff about him being a cook is completely omitted from the recap video. What we do get though is a bunch of clips from some of their old exploits which have absolutely nothing to do with this feud or match. For some reason people were hoping that X-Pac or someone like that would return. People, the old DX is dead. All you’re going to get is these two buffoons, so be happy with it and let go of the past already.

Also, this really isn’t as bad as people make it out to be. They’re going to have decent matches and it’s going to help Legacy look legit if they win a single match, which is a good thing. DX can do whatever they like out there and they’re going to get cheered. What else can you ask for out of them really? It’s HHH against someone not named Orton. Be happy.

DX vs. Legacy

Now this is for some reason considered one of the main events. Why? What makes this one of the big matches? Yes, Shawn is back, but when HHH returned against Booker in 2007 it was a midcard match and that was fine. I get that it’s the third biggest match by default, but that doesn’t mean it should be. I’d put the tag titles above this as they’ve had far more build, but whatever. Anyway, let’s get to this.

Ok, I’ve heard great things about the DX intro, and I’ll admit, it was awesome. Basically, it’s an army theme with a bunch of troops coming out in a jeep and firing off guns. Then the stage splits apart and DX comes out on a tank, launching of a bunch of fireworks. The fans are WAY into it and it’s cool. Everything is loud and big here and the crowd is screaming. That’s what you’re looking for here. The fans are the most important thing at the end of the day and they’re loving this.

Screw the people that think the return of DX was stupid. It’s cool and it’s working. The glow sticks are a cool idea too and I’m surprised it took this long for them to be invented. It takes about 5 minutes, but so what? The reaction was awesome, so rock on. Legacy is the evil opponent here, but they have some sweet music. It’s not as great as their 39th song, but it’s better than theme 341B. The announcers point out that this is a huge chance for Legacy and they’re absolutely right.

DX is a team of two hall of fame members, and Legacy are young guys. This is their chance, so hopefully they don’t get crushed. Naturally, HHH starts going strong which makes sense as he’s the face, so why wouldn’t he be in control at first? Oh apparently the right knee of HHH is his vintage knee. That’s good to know. Shawn gets tagged in to a big pop. Apparently the fans think something of this guy.

He does a cool spot where he fakes Cody out when Cody goes for a leapfrog but Shawn gets slapped. That was stupid don’t you think? There’s the return slap that you knew was coming. Legacy is controlling the match. That’s a lot more than I expected them to do actually. HHH is in now and not dominating. This is being worked slowly towards a big ending. That’s a truly lost art in tag team wrestling today.

I’m liking this: DX gets momentum and Legacy keeps stopping them. See, this is how you build a tag team: you let them look good. That’s what veterans are supposed to do: make young guys look good. DiBiase uses a chin lock. Good to see those Orton lessons paying off. It amuses me that as a tag team, Legacy is light years more successful than DX has been. Legacy is I think 3 time tag champions?

DX has definitely never won a tag title. What does that tell you? Lawler says this isn’t what DX had in mind. Yeah they were looking for some Chinese Checkers. Legacy is doing a great job here of keeping HHH in the ring. That’s very old school and it’s working quite well here. We get the boo yay punching sequence which I always kind of hate. Shawn gets the tag in. Cody goes for the Shawn elbow, which apparently is him stealing the move.

I love how they make no issue of Shawn stealing it from Savage who was winning world titles with it before Shawn debuted in the WWF. DX is actually in trouble here and the announcers are putting them over huge, which is all you can ask for. The crowd starts wooing as Shawn puts on a figure four. Cody hits Crossroads on Shawn, which is actually a pretty good name for his finishing move I guess. Rhodes takes a Pedigree as Shawn takes Dream Street.

Dang I actually couldn’t tell Legacy apart there. That’s not a good sign at all. In one of the fastest endings I’ve ever seen, Shawn hits Sweet at least 4 inches from Cody’s Chin Music for the pin. Yeah that wasn’t even close. Literally they were both just standing up and leaning on each other then Shawn took a step back and kicked. Yeah he missed but maybe the air knocked Cody down?

Rating: A. This was a great tag team match for many reasons, but the big one was that Legacy was made to look legit. This wasn’t like when DX dismantled the Spirit Squad week in and week out. Legacy had me believing that the upset was indeed possible. DX made them look good here in a very good 20 minute match. DX should have won, but they won the right way here. That was by far Legacy’s biggest and best match ever, and they brought their best. I’m impressed with both teams.

Ad for the WM 25 special on Saturday which is going to bomb.

ECW Title: Christian vs. William Regal

Not a ton of backstory here. One night on the Abraham Washington Show, a talk show segment on ECW, Regal was simply announced as the #1 contender. 5 days prior to this, he hooked up with Kozlov and Ezekiel Jackson to form a trio with the only real thing in common being that they’re heels. This should be ok I guess. I still have no clue what the massive appeal of Christian is, although he’s had some decent matches lately.

I feel so sorry for the ECW announcers. Literally, we haven’t heard their voices until now, an hour and 40 minutes into the show. Also, yet again the champion comes out first. That’s just odd. Regal comes out with his two big henchmen.

Jackson’s heel turn was just odd as he was a face for all of two weeks and he was never an actual face at that. All that being said, it’s a 10 second match. Regal gets hit with the Killswitch and is out. Jackson and Kozlov are you beaters tonight. I prefer the Weasleys, but that’s just me. They half kill him here as the name Regal’s Roundtable is used. I like that…kind of.

Rating: N/A. Regal doesn’t belong on a major show like this, so I have no issues here at all. I’ve heard a lot of people complaining about how this was a disgrace and what not like that. Bull, this was great. Number one, the exact same thing happened last year as the ECW Title match got 33 seconds. Number two, this got the people’s attention and it made them believe that a match could end at any time.

That’s one of the major evils in WWE right now: there’s no point to watch the first 10-15 minutes of a world title match as it’s always going to go longer than that. Here you have a match where if you turn around to pet your cat the match is over. That’s brilliant. Number three, there was no build at all here. This gives you something to further the angle so you can have a rematch next month. Number four, people are talking about this now.

Isn’t that the point of any match? Number five, EVERYONE knew Christian was retaining here. How awesome does this make him look as champion? He beat an established veteran that fast with one move. This was a stroke of genius, not a disgrace.

They air some video about some F list celebrities and a charity event the roster was at. I won’t make fun of charity events, ever.

Let’s thank Aerosmith for our pointless theme song.

We get something resembling a recap of last Monday where they were tag partners. Cole says that Orton showed his true colors by attacking Orton after the match. EXCUSE ME? HE IS A FREAKING HEEL! HE NEVER WANTED TO BE IN THE TEAM IN THE FIRST PLACE! How is he showing his true colors by doing what he’s done the whole time? My goodness Cole does it cost you money to think or something?

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Well, at least it’s not HHH again. Basically, it’s pretty simple. Cena won the beat the clock thing to get here, and no one is surprised at all. In a rematch from two years ago, let’s do this. Cena runs to the ring which is kind of odd indeed. He gives his hat to his Marine co-star. Great way to get over with the kids there Johnny Boy. Orton comes out to a chorus of mostly boos. Why does the title graphic spin when the belt itself doesn’t?

My goodness I love the big fight introductions. They just work on all levels. After those, we get our recaps. Yeah that’s actually a bit better. It doesn’t waste as much time. They start off on the mat which actually goes pretty well. That’s something you rarely see from these two and while they’re hardly Kurt Angle, that was pretty good. Orton puts Cena down for awhile and when Cena is trying to get back up, it really looks like he’s trying to give Orton head through the tights.

I know that’s said a lot, but this is the closest it’s ever gotten. Orton takes FOREVER to drop a knee which looks like he’s going for a splash. It’s a new move, so of course it’s vintage. I have no problem when it’s actually a vintage move: HBK’s forearm, the facebuster by HHH, Old School etc. However, a move by Orton that he’s bene using for a few months at most? Give me a break. It’s a misuse of the word and insulting to my intelligence.

Cena hits You Can’t See Me, even though I can see him the entire time. This match is FLYING by. It feels like there was no intro or build and we’re already in the middle of it. That’s not good. FU doesn’t go and Orton hits a powerslam, called a scoop slam by Cole, to get back in control. They flat out say the WWE Title is the more valuable title. At least they admit it. Orton goes for the same knee and this time Cena gets out of the way. At least he’s intelligent.

I really don’t like this referee. He has that hitch in his count and it’s just aggravating. Orton hits that elevated DDT which I love as it’s a move that the ropes actually make better. Orton’s eyes really are great when he’s setting for the RKO. Facial expressions can make or break a match. Edge, Orton and Punk are some of the best there are at it. Punt misses and Cena hits the throwback. He hits the top rope legdrop about as well as he ever has, which is to say he actually connected with it.

Apparently Cena throwing his hands up and jumping up and down means FU now. It’s double clothesline time to make this a bit boring. Why is it only on a double clothesline that they’re devastating moves and not something that the guy pops up from? The fans seem confused as to who to cheer for. Orton shoves the referee, rolls to the floor and grabs his belt and leaves.

I say that as Lillian is on screen making me think I should rephrase that, but at the same time maybe I shouldn’t. Within seconds, she’s received word from Vince…but she trails off. She then announces Orton as the new champion, when she was supposed to say still champion. That’s a major mistake and I think it’s because they blew the spot and tried to do too much at once.

Cole tries to cover as fast as he can, and NOW we get the orders right as Vince has said that if Orton gets disqualified Cena wins the belt. More on that later. So the match is restarted and Cena is dominating. Orton goes to the floor and asks for the belt, which is dropped at first, and then he walks to the back saying that he’s done.

Ok, now we’re restarting it AGAIN, and now if he gets counted out we have a new champion. Ok, how in the HECK did she get word that fast? Both finishers are teased but Orton gets a roll up with his feet on the ropes to steal it.

OR DOES HE?

Another referee comes out and says that Orton has his feet on the ropes, so the original referee says this doesn’t count. Ok wait, back up. What about all the times when it’s said that the referee’s decision is final? If that’s the case, then one of two things should happen. #1, no match can end until the referee has had a chance to go back and rewatch the match, or #2, no decision is ever final since if the referee’s decision is final, then he could in theory go back and reverse it at anytime.

In other words, if the referee can reverse his own final decision, then couldn’t a referee go back and reverse something from years ago? If he has final say I don’t see why not. Guess what? It’s another restart. Best sign of the year: This is Why I Watch Smackdown. Preach it brother. STFU is put on and we get the rapidly becoming infamous moment as a “fan” (it’s Ted DiBiase’s brother Brett but that’s not revealed until tomorrow night) jumps into the ring.

Ok, reasons why this is clearly fake. #1, everything stops. In a real situation like this they just keep going. #2, they put the camera on the guy. That makes it fake as whenever this happens, the cameras go off and you can see the fans all watching the guy. #3, they talk about it. That NEVER happens.

#4, and most important of all, given the fact that the match has been restarted 3 times now, do you really expect this to be real? That was my biggest reason. It’s too unrealistic (and that’s saying a lot given this match) for it to have not been planned. Orton hits a quick RKO for the pin.

Rating: B-. For this rating, I’m factoring out all the insanity and I’ll explain why in just a second. Without all that stuff, this was a bad match. It was boring, it was very rushed, and it just wasn’t entertaining. However, I blame a lot of that on the booking, which is what killed this for me. The rating is fairly up there because a lot of the rhythm was taken away by stupid booking. Lillian messed up her lines, and that’s fine.

She had three freaking sets of them. This match suffered horribly from being overbooked. Why do you need the three restarts if you’re going to do the fan thing? Do one or the other, not four things. It’s too confusing, it takes too long, and it’s just stupid by the end. The fan run in thing would have been fine and actually pretty creative if not for the other three restarts.

Why do you need to have so much stuff in the world title match? It makes things look silly to me and it just makes thing far more complicated than they need to be. The match was bad, but the grade will be high because I think a lot of what was bad was based on the booking of the match and not what the wrestlers were doing. In essence, they had to remember four finishes. That’s asking too much of any wrestler and I think it had a lot to do with them not being that on here.

We recap the Punk/Hardy feud, which has been AWESOME.

Smackdown World Title: CM Punk vs. Jeff Hardy

This has been one of the best feuds in recent memory for a few reasons. One, it’s Punk at his best. Two, the clash is so natural that it’s great. Three, the matches have been great. It’s possible Hardy is done after this, so I’d expect a new champion. Punk lost the title to Hardy at Night of Champions in what I would call an odd choice after Punk delivered one of the best promos I’ve ever heard that had me cheering in my room.

Anyway, this is a TLC match, which actually plays into the two time MITB winner’s hands I’d think. Thankfully this has gone on last. Other than some lines from Ross about how Hardy is addicted to adrenaline, it’s a standard hard hitting spotfest that you’ve grown to know and accept in these places. Hardy has some mixed reactions here as I think it’s gotten out that he’s gone. Do announcers not pay attention?

Why are all ladders the biggest they’ve ever seen? Did you know Jeff is like smoke being poured through a keyhole? I’m not sure if you caught it the first 10,000 times Ross has said it. Yep and there it is the major spot, as Hardy, for about the fourth time in his career, goes to the huge ladder and hits the super swanton. Yeah it looks cool, but dang we’ve seen it way too many times. Why didn’t Punk move either?

He wasn’t tied down and it took Hardy longer than it takes him to smoke a bowl to get up there. More commentary problems as this is going on too. Hey, in case you didn’t see it, here’s 15 replays. Hardy is being taken out on a stretcher. I guess that’s how they’re ending him? Yeah that’s…different I guess. While this is happening, Punk starts climbing. Hardy pops up to go after him though.

I love the powers of recuperation that wrestlers have. Punk is hopping up the ladder and it’s just hysterical looking. He looks like a rabbit. Hardy takes a straight fall down off the ladder as Punk takes the belt to end the show. Sweetness indeed. The announcers of course try to make this out to be completely epic. JR sounds like he’s ordering dinner. Way to show emotion there buddy. No wonder you’re in the Hall of Fame.

Before we go though, the gong rings. Taker pops up from under the ring and chokeslams Punk, who is somehow STILL not being respected as champion. Yeah I don’t like this. Match was good though. Post match, a gong strikes. Taker pops up from under the ring and chokeslams the new champion to end the show.

Rating: A. This was a great match and a great way to end the show. It wasn’t complicated like the last show and to me shows why Smackdown is way ahead of Raw right now. This wasn’t all drama and over the top stuff. Sure it was a gimmick match, but it was about the match and not some big screwjob.

At the end of the day, the best way to get over and have a good match/feud is to have good action, not good stories. The last two matches are a classic example of that, and Smackdown did it right while Raw failed.

Overall Rating: A-. This was a VERY good show. It’s not great, but it’s close. The worst match of the night is Kane/Khali, but it’s at least watchable. They kept it short which was smart. The tag title wasn’t much but they kept JTG in there for the majority of the time which is certainly the right thing to do.

Other than that and the STUPID booking for the Raw title match, I really liked this show for one reason: it was about the in ring stuff. That’s the solution to any wrestling company’s problem. At the end of the day, have good matches and the fans will be happy. The matches were good and I’m very pleased with this show and it gets a big recommendation.

 

 

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