IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: January 20, 2005
Location: Bell Centre, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s time to get ready for the Royal Rumble and so far that means focusing on the Smackdown World Title match. JBL, Kurt Angle and Big Show have been playing mind games with each other and I don’t see that ending well. Other than that, John Cena is still looking for anything to fill his time before he can get to the World Title scene. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last week’s issues between everyone involved in Joy Giovanni’s disappearance, which was one of the most entertaining things they’ve done in a good while. Kurt Angle and company were behind the whole thing and that is likely going to have some repercussions this week.

Theodore Long is in the ring to open things up. He talks about what Angle did last week and promises that Angle will face the music tonight. Angle isn’t here yet, but when he arrives, it’s time for an official apology to Joy Giovanni, all by himself. Otherwise, he is out of the title shot at the Royal Rumble and won’t get another title shot this year. Now holla holla holla.

Tag Team Titles: Bashams vs. Eddie Guerrero/Booker T.

The Bashams are defending and has Orlando Jordan here with them. Doug takes Booker into the corner to start so Booker clotheslines him right back. Eddie comes in to a rather nice reaction and stomps away in the corner. The slingshot hilo hits and it’s time to start on the arm. Booker’s spinning kick to the face gets one and Eddie goes very old school with an airplane spin. Eddie is so dizzy that he staggers into the corner for a poke to Danny’s eyes.

Back to back planchas to the floor keep the champs down and we take a break. Back with Doug STILL in trouble to continue the rather long beatdown segment. A suplex finally gets Doug a breather and it’s off to Danny for some fresh Basham. Booker comes in and the champs do a very fast twin switch, which would seem to be a rather bad idea. The cheap shot lets Doug take Booker down and it’s back to Danny for some choking on the apron.

Danny grabs a seated full nelson and then gets two off a powerslam. The hold goes back on and Eddie gets yelled at for not holding the tag rope. In a rather brilliant move, Eddie unties the rope and holds onto it as he walks down the apron, though it doesn’t matter as Danny puts on the third full nelson in the span of a few minutes. A regular chinlock changes the pace a bit and that’s enough to trigger the comeback, including a spinebuster to drop Danny.

It’s Eddie coming back in and hitting the rope walk wristdrag/headscissors combination to the champs. Three Amigos have Doug in trouble so Eddie brings Orlando in for a bonus. The distraction lets Doug bring in a title but Eddie knocks it away and hits Doug with it….as the referee turns around. He SWEARS that he didn’t do it but that’s a DQ anyway.

Rating: C-. The long stretch of holds in the middle hurt it a lot but this got some time and was allowed to develop a bit. The Bashams are fine champions at the moment and a team can be built up to take them away in time. Eddie vs. Booker seems to be building as well and that could be a rather nice feud.

Post match Booker yells at Eddie, who walks out on him instead. Danny and Jordan jump Booker and Eddie makes a somewhat delayed save. A scissors kick into the frog splash takes care of Orlando.

JBL is upset over Jordan but Amy reminds him that the Bashams retained the title. Josh Matthews comes in so JBL can talk about some things he’s done in his life. Those things were a matter of doing business though and what Angle did crossed the line. Tonight, Angle will pay. I hope he gets a receipt.

Big Show and an upset Joy Giovanni are waiting on Angle. Show doesn’t think this is the place for her so she leaves.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Akio vs. Scotty 2 Hotty

This is Scotty’s return after having a benign tumor removed. Akio gets aggressive to start and stomps away but Scotty armdrags him into an armbar. They head outside with Akio sending him back first into the apron and grabbing his own armbar. A suplex gets two as the cameras stay close to avoid showing the large number of empty seats during this match. The abdominal stretch has Scotty in more trouble and a belly to back plants him again. Akio Time (corkscrew moonsault) misses and the Worm gives Scotty the pin.

Rating: D+. They were trying but there’s nothing you can do with two cruiserweight job guys fighting to be cannon fodder in the Rumble. The Worm still gets a reaction but other than some dancing, Scotty doesn’t have much more than that. Akio was aggressive here and it was one of his better performances.

John Cena is all fired up for the Royal Rumble because it’s about the movement. If you want some, come get some. Not much to say this week.

Steve Austin had a press conference on Wednesday. This show is airing on Thursday so tune in Monday to find out what he said!

Theodore Long tells Big Show that he can’t attack Angle until the apology takes place. Show isn’t convinced.

Here’s Carlito with his petition and he gets some signatures on the way to the ring. He promises to keep collecting signatures but here’s Heidenreich of all people to interrupt. Heidenreich actually signs as well because Long is forcing him into a casket match. He’s not scared of Undertaker but he doesn’t like caskets, so he’ll do anything to get out of that match. The lights go out and Undertaker appears on screen, promising to introduce Heidenreich to a casket. There’s a casket in front of him and Heidenreich is inside. This story can gladly end anytime. Like, say before we have to watch them fight again.

Lauren and Rochelle arrive and Show nearly hits them with a chair.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: John Cena vs. Rene Dupree

Non-title. Rene shoulders him down to start and throws in his own You Can’t See Me. A much harder shoulder puts Rene on the floor and the fans are rather pleased. Cena spends a bit too much time high fiving a fan and walks into a dropkick. Back in and a clothesline connects as the announcers try to figure out what Rene’s trunks say.

The chinlock goes on for a bit as Tazz is confused why Rene isn’t the hometown favorite. Cena comes back with clotheslines and elbows for two, followed by the ProtoBomb for the same. The Shuffle actually misses, so Cena hits a DDT and then the Shuffle connects. The FU sends Cena tot he Rumble.

Rating: D+. I know I say this every week but Cena has nothing to do at the moment until we get to the Rumble because no one in the midcard can touch him. We’re just waiting to get him to the main event scene where he belongs, and having him beat up Rene one week and Kenzo Suzuki the next isn’t the most interesting thing in the world.

Post match here’s Kenzo to jump Cena, likely setting up one more match between the two of them next week.

Royal Rumble rundown.

JBL comes up to Big Show and offers to help him deal with Angle tonight. After the apology, they can beat him up. Show doesn’t say no.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Chavo Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

They lock hands to start with Chavo monkey flipping him over, leading to a standoff. A reverse powerbomb plants Rey and Chavo gets to talk a little trash. Rey sends him to the apron though and it’s a springboard Stunner to put Chavo on the floor as we take a break. Back with Rey getting caught in the chinlock, which is a little better than coming back to the chinlock. Chavo starts kicking at the knee but Rey kicks him in the chest, followed by a springboard moonsault.

It’s right back to Rey’s knee though but Chavo switches to an armbar for some reason. Chavo dives into raised boots and falls into 619 position but thankfully stands up so Rey can get two off a basement dropkick. A faceplant gives Chavo two of his own with Rey putting his foot on the rope. Rey tries a running headscissors but gets planted with a reverse powerbomb for two as the fans are VERY impressed. Another headscissors works better for Rey though, meaning it’s the 619 into the springboard splash for the pin.

Rating: B-. Well of course these two are capable of having a good match. That almost always seems to be the case and I’m not surprised in the slightest. Rey winning was the mostly obvious ending but Chavo was trying here, giving us one of the better Smackdown matches in recent memory.

Raw Rebound.

Next week: Kenzo gets another US Title shot.

Here’s a scared looking Kurt Angle coming through the crowd. After a break, he calls out Joy for the apology. Joy comes out and Angle reads an apology, blaming last week on his overly competitive spirit. Any pain and suffering was unintentional….and here’s Big Show. Once Show is in the ring, Angle bails to the floor because they can settle this at the Rumble. Cue JBL and the Cabinet to threaten Angle, followed by a handshake. Angle calls out Jindrak and Reigns so Show is down 7-1. Cole, after the handshake and smile: “Have JBL and Angle joined forces here?”

It’s the classic villain strategy of sending one or two people at a time before the villains wake up and rush Show at the same time. Show fights them off and even no sells a low blow from Jordan. The Angle Slam takes him down though and JBL chairs him in the head. JBL and Angle take turns hitting Show in his busted head and a great looking shot with the steps put Show on the floor to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The transitional phase continues as we slowly crawl towards Cena getting into the main event picture and having no one to touch him until then. At the same time though, Big Show, Angle and JBL are giving it all they have in the title feud and it’s working far better than I would have expected. The women are adding in enough of a difference that the story is working and I’m wanting to see the title match. The wrestling tonight wasn’t very good, but I’m digging the show enough at the moment. Things are building towards Cena at the Rumble though and there’s no need to try and hide it.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: January 13, 2005
Location: St. Pete Times Forum, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

The road to the Royal Rumble and John Cena’s obvious coronation continues and this time around he has to beat up Kenzo Suzuki again. Other than that, we have to build towards JBL defending against both Kurt Angle and Big Show in a match that doesn’t sound too great on paper. They’ve surprised me before though so maybe that’s the case again here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of last week’s issues with Amy Weber, Kurt Angle, Joy Giovanni and Big Show where shenanigans ensued thanks to Weber outsmarting everyone else involved.

Angle tries to apologize for walking in on Joy in the shower last week but can’t get around Big Show. He finally steps aside so Angle can apologize and she says thank you. Show doesn’t like Angle but that took guts. Now they need to make JBL apologize.

Opening sequence.

Tag Team Titles: Rey Mysterio/Rob Van Dam vs. Basham Brothers vs. Luther Reigns/Mark Jindrak vs. Eddie Guerrero/Booker T.

Van Dam and Mysterio are defending and this is under elimination rules. Ignore Van Dam having a full leg cast on his left leg and his inability to walk with any kind of speed. Thanks to a pre-show coin toss, Eddie and Jindrak start things off. That means some Jindrak hip swiveling but the fans are behind Eddie anyway. Eddie has to counter a headlock with a top wristlock but Jindrak pretty easily powers him right back into it.

In a smart move, Eddie gets Jindrak over to Booker so the double teaming can begin. The hook kick to the face puts Jindrak out as Cole has an actual good idea: why not tag in the injured Van Dam and get an easier elimination? I knew if I listened to him talk for twenty years he’d say something smart eventually. Eddie dropkicks Jindrak down again and tags Doug in for a change of pace. Both teams come in for a brawl but Mysterio trips Doug and hits a 619 on Jindrak.

Eddie puts Doug on top and we’re down to three. Back from a break with Mysterio armdragging Doug down but Eddie gets tagged in to face Rey. Eddie is hesitant here so Rey tries a flying mare, only to slip off (though replays showed that it might have been Eddie pushing him off but not shoving him far enough) and nearly land on his head. Thankfully Eddie turns it into something like a powerslam to keep Rey from a bad case of paralysis. It’s back to Booker for a spinebuster and Eddie chokes with the tag rope in the corner.

Rey monkey flips Eddie down though and hits a springboard hurricanrana for the pin and the elimination. Eddie is very, very frustrated as they leave so Doug gets in a cheap shot on Mysterio to take over. Van Dam gets knocked off the apron so it’s Rey getting choked in the corner. A steps shot to the knee has Van Dam writhing in pain on the floor but Rey avoids a charge to send Doug into the post.

Mysterio heads outside to check on Van Dam and the delay lets Danny beat on Rey even more. A stretcher comes out for Van Dam and Mysterio goes outside AGAIN to ask what’s going on. WHAT DO YOU THINK IS GOING ON REY??? Danny gets two off a suplex and we hit the chinlock. Rey manages the sitout bulldog for two but Doug makes the save. A 619 hits Danny but it’s a switch so Doug’s chokebomb can connect for the pin and the titles.

Post match the Cabinet comes out to celebrate and Cole is sick because we’ll have to listen to them. The irony is strong with this one.

Hiroko says Kenzo Suzuki loves America and thinks John Cena is everything wrong with America. Tonight, Kenzo wins the US Title because God bless America. Hit that cheese grin.

JBL and the Cabinet are celebrating when they run into Big Show and Joy. They didn’t like what JBL and company did last week so it’s time for JBL to apologize. He apologizes immediately but Show wants something more sincere. Amy needs to apologize as well but she says Joy just wanted to be the center of attention last week. That makes her nothing more than a CENSORED and the catfight is on. Theodore Long makes the most well timed appearance in recent memory and makes a match between the women tonight.

Raw and Smackdown are coming to Tokyo next month.

Here’s Kurt Angle for the Invitational but first, he promises to take JBL’s title at the Rumble. You might have heard of this week’s opponent.

Kurt Angle vs. Roderick Strong

I love surprise cameos like this. Strong is very excited to be here and slaps Angle in the face. The bell rings so Strong runs away because he just has to beat the clock. Angle catches him though but Strong gets two off a rollup. A double chickenwing has Strong in trouble and Angle punches him in the face again. There’s the release German suplex and the ankle lock makes Strong tap in a hurry.

Wrestlemania Recall: Morton Downey Jr. in Piper’s Pit.

US Title: John Cena vs. Kenzo Suzuki

Cena is defending but first, he makes fun of Kenzo for thinking that he’s going to become more American tonight. If you want to know what America is about, look out into the crowd. America is why he wears these colors (an orange Tampa Bay Buccaneers jersey at the moment) and tonight, they’re going to whip Kenzo together. Suzuki slugs Cena down in the corner to start but Cena spears him down and hammers away. A bulldog drops Kenzo and there’s the Five Knuckle Shuffle (complete with bow). The shoes get pumped up and it’s the FU to retain the title in a hurry. The Cena roll continues.

Cena leaves through the crowd to celebrate.

Video on the weekend house show tour.

Amy is freaking out because she isn’t a wrestler and everyone has been banned from ringside.

Joy rubs baby oil on herself and gets a kiss for luck from Big Show.

Video on Heidenreich being scared of caskets and losing a match last week to keep the Rumble match a casket match.

Amy Weber vs. Joy Giovanni

Or not as there is no Joy. The music plays twice and no one is here so Amy wins via forfeit.

Show wants Long to find Joy and threatens violence if it doesn’t happen. Finlay and Steve Keirn are on the case. Everyone leaves so Heidenreich comes in to complain about the casket match again. The match is still on so get over it. Heidenreich leaves and JBL comes in but denies knowing anything about Joy’s disappearance.

Post break, JBL has given his alibi but Long says if he’s lying, the title is stripped next week.

Cruiserweight Title: Funaki vs. Nunzio

Funaki is defending and gets a jobber entrance. Nunzio goes right at him to start but gets kicked in the ribs. An armdrag sets up an early armbar on Nunzio, who gets up without too much effort. Back up and Nunzio dropkicks him out of the air, setting up his own chinlock. Funaki fights up again and hits a kick to the arm, followed by a high crossbody with Nunzio rolling through for his own near fall. Not that it matters as Funaki hits a sloppy tornado DDT to retain.

Rating: C-. This was a rather nice little match for such a short amount of time. The ending didn’t look great but given how little time they had, they were probably going faster than they should have. Funaki isn’t the long term champion but at least they’re getting the champion on TV more than once a month or so.

Long accuses Carlito of having something to do with Joy’s disappearance. Carlito says no but that does sound like another bad mark against Long’s status as General Manager. Long throws Carlito out but here are Jackie Gayda and Torrie Wilson to take his place. They saw Orlando Jordan following Joy on her way to the ring. Long sends for Jordan and says he should have known.

Post break Jordan has given his alibi as well….and then says he admits it. He told Joy Amy was going to hurt her but that was it. Show comes in and chokes Jordan, who says JBL was in a photo shoot when Joy disappeared. That better be true, or bones will be broken.

Raw Rebound.

The Chairman of the Florida Agricultural Society is here to honor JBL as their Man of the Year. We get the full entrance and the Chairman talks about JBL helping to replant orange trees after the hurricane season and supplying a bunch of fertilizer. JBL gets a plaque and we get a photo op before the required speech. He talks about helping the people of Florida live and prosper but he did it for that kid who goes to the breakfast table and wants orange juice. Or for the family who starts off on the right foot with a JBL chant to start their morning.

As JBL allows the fans to cheer him, Angle interrupts and accuses JBL of abducting Joy. Angle wants to know his plan but JBL keeps denying it. That’s not good enough for Angle, who hears noises coming from the trunk of JBL’s limo. Joy is indeed in there, drawing out medics to tend to her. Cue Show to cry over Joy and then turn back to JBL. The fight is on with Show cleaning house and beating the fire out of Jordan. A bunch of chair shots leave Jordan laying and Show glares at JBL in the crowd.

We cut to the back where Angle, Reigns and Jindrak talk about loving it when a plan comes together. They smile and walk off to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This is a very interesting show as while a lot happened, a good chunk of it was wrapped up by the end of the show or didn’t change that much. What it did do though was entertain me, which is so often lacking in wrestling. They did a bunch of stuff here and it was a fun show where I was wanting to see where things went. That’s a better way to spend two hours than doing the same stuff over and over, making this a rather nice surprise. I know you can’t have some big angle every week, but it was cool to have something different for a week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: January 6, 2005
Location: Mohegan Sun, Uncasville, Connecticut
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re in a new year and it’s time to start building towards the Royal Rumble, featuring another Undertaker vs. Heidenreich match. I’m not sure why anyone would be looking forward to that but hopefully it wraps up their feud once and for all. Other than that, John Cena is looking like the star of stars and I’m thinking that has some potential. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

Fallout from last week’s Tag Team Title match. Rey brings out the 619 Cam but Eddie steals it for some filming of guest timekeeper Joy Giovanni. We get started with Rey snapping off a headscissors but getting caught in a test of strength. That’s broken up with Rey climbing onto Eddie’s back for two off a sunset flip, meaning it’s an early standoff. Back up and it’s another headscissors to rattle Eddie some more.

Rey charges again but this time he gets faceplanted down, setting up an armbar on the right (not left Cole) arm. The hammerlock goes on for a good bit until Rey makes the rope, with Eddie not letting go immediately. Rey tries a moonsault but gets caught in the Tree of Woe for a dropkick to the ribs. Eddie misses a charge though and crotches himself against the post as we take a break.

Back with Rey holding something like an abdominal stretch on the mat before switching to an armbar. An exchange of sleepers goes to Rey, followed by a springboard armdrag. Rey gets two off a Lionsault and we hit the chinlock. That’s broken up so Rey dropkicks him into the ropes, only to miss the 619. Eddie chills in the corner so Rey tries a Bronco Buster, which is blocked with a raised boot.

It was NOT a low blow though (Eddie promises) so Rey takes him up top but the hurricanrana is countered into a powerbomb. A missed charge bumps the referee though and Eddie has an idea. It’s the old grab the title spot so he throws it to Rey….who throws it right back and drops down as the referee gets up.

Eddie crawls around on his stomach to hide the title and INSISTS that he did not use the belt. He tries to crawl over and throw it away but gets caught, giving us a hilarious look on his face. Rey cracks up and Eddie tries to convince the referee that it means Rey did it. That’s almost a double DQ but Eddie’s begging keeps the match going….and lets Rey small package him for the pin.

Rating: B-. Well of course these two had a fun match, but the ending was hysterical with Eddie going so over the top when he had no idea what to do in the situation. His NO and HE’S LAUGHING got some actual laughter and they did it for the right reason. How often do you get that in wrestling?

Post match Rey shakes an unenthusiastic Eddie’s hand.

Heidenreich thanks Paul Heyman for coming to help him with the casket stipulation. For some reason, Heyman is treated like a big reveal here and isn’t shown until a little bit into Heidenreich’s speech. Heyman promises to fix things.

Cruiserweight Title: Funaki vs. Akio

Funaki is defending and Carlito, with his petition, is on commentary. Hang on actually as Carlito gets a signature from the cameraman and some fans. Funaki starts fast with an armdrag to send Akio outside, followed by some rollups for two each. Carlito isn’t done though and even gets inside, asking the referee and wrestlers for signatures.

With Carlito sent outside (sans signatures), it’s time to get some security guards to sign. Akio’s enziguri gets two and it’s off to a quickly broken armbar. Funaki hits a bulldog for two as Carlito is asking more fans for signatures. Akio misses a corkscrew moonsault and gets DDTed off the middle rope for the pin.

Rating: D. What were you expecting here? This was all about Carlito’s deal and does very little to make me want to see the cruiserweights for the time being. You can’t put a squash match in there instead of a title match? Hopefully they don’t do any more of this stuff, or at least not in a match that should matter.

Post match Joy won’t sign so Carlito spits apple on her. I do not find this to be cool.

Heyman and Heidenreich try to talk Long out of the casket match at the Royal Rumble. Violence seems to be threatened so Long gives Heidenreich an offer: If he can beat Undertaker tonight, he gets to pick a new stipulation. Oh and we’ll make it a handicap match with Heyman involved. Heyman: “ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND???”

Kurt Angle meets with Luther Reigns and Mark Jindrak but Amy Weber comes in and wants to talk to him in private. She offers him her services, which Angle sees as her hedging her bets. Personal relations are implied and Angle seems rather happy.

Here’s Angle for the Kurt Angle Invitational and he’s feeling like he’s up for a gamble tonight. By that he means doing the same thing he’s done every week.

Kurt Angle vs. Brian Black

Black looks a bit like Chris Nowinski with shorter hair. Angle makes him tap in less than thirty seconds.

Torrie Wilson and Jackie Gayda meet Daniel Puder, who doesn’t seem entirely impressed. Puder brings up Jackie cheating on Charlie Haas and wishes her better luck with men in the future. They can leave now, with Puder saying they’re just after his money.

And now, a battle rap between John Cena and Kenzo Suzuki before their US Title match next week. Kenzo, now clean shaven, is dressed like Uncle Sam. It’s Kenzo going first and talking about how much he loves America with the usual lame jokes. Cena on the other hand goes with a bunch of gay jokes about him and sex jokes about Hiroko. Kenzo says something about Cena sucking so Cena brings out Rochelle, Michelle and Lauren.

They get Kenzo’s attention and he flirts with them a bit. Cena: “I swear, he’s got some game.” The women seem more disturbed than anything else so Hiroko jumps on Michelle’s back. That’s broken up and Cena cleans house. They’re just biding time until Cena goes after the World Title because everyone else feels beneath him.

Next week: the Tag Team Titles are on the line in a four way.

Rob Van Dam vs. Doug Basham

Danny Basham and Orlando Jordan are in Doug’s corner. Rob takes him to the mat without much effort as Mysterio has come out to even the score a bit. The threat of a kick to the face sends Doug outside, where he shoves Rey and gets punched down. That’s an ejection for Rey so Van Dam moonsaults down onto Doug for two back inside. They slug it out on the floor with Van Dam going back first into the apron so Doug can start in on the spine.

The bow and arrow hold doesn’t last long so Doug tries a Vader Bomb, which hits raised feet. Rob hits the middle rope boot to the face and Rolling Thunder keeps Doug in trouble. A distraction lets Orlando give Doug a foreign object but the referee catches him, allowing Danny to change places. Danny’s chokebomb is good for the pin.

Rating: D+. Nothing special to see here though it does give the Bashams a little momentum as we head into next week’s title match. The tag division isn’t exactly strong right now but Van Dam and Mysterio have felt like filler champions since they won the belts. That’s not a bad thing but I’m not sure who is going to work well as champions.

Angle lets himself into Amy’s dressing room but she’s in the shower. The suit comes off and, after Angle rubs his nipples, it’s Joy in the shower and a lot of screaming ensues. Angle pulls her towel off and smiles again as Joy runs off. Angle gets his pants on and chases after her, but finds Big Show holding her, meaning panic sets in as Angle tries to explain things. The chase is on and they wind up in the ring as the announcers try to figure out the locker room situation. Reigns and Jindrak try to help and get destroyed but Angle grabs a chair. This goes badly as well and Angle is dispatched.

Post break, here’s the same thing you just saw.

JBL, Amy and Jordan are very happy about what happened and of course Amy has put a sign up on Joy’s locker room to mess with Angle. Yeah it was telegraphed but it worked fine.

Raw Rebound.

Heidenreich punches a wall to warm up as Heyman tries to calm him down about the casket. He was totally going to volunteer to be on Heidenreich’s team if Long didn’t order him to do it.

Heidenreich/Paul Heyman vs. Undertaker

If Heidenreich/Heyman win, they can pick a different stipulation for the Rumble match. Heyman is in a suit here. Heidenreich starts for the team and shoulders Undertaker down, which is more success than you would usually expect against undertaker. An armdrag of all things takes Heidenreich down but he sends Undertaker into the corner and hammers away.

The chinlock doesn’t do anything so Heidenreich knocks him down for two more. Undertaker is right back with his usual series of strikes and the jumping clothesline puts Heidenreich back down. Snake Eyes into the big boot sends Heidenreich to the floor….and we’ve got druids.

They bring two caskets to the ring (Cole: “Perhaps one casket is for Heidenreich and the other is for Heyman!”) and Heidenreich panics. He tags Heyman and runs out into the crowd as Undertaker’s head snaps to Heyman. A lot of screaming is cut off by the Tombstone and Heyman is sent into the casket for the win. To be fair the casket is outside so I guess it would be a countout. Then again there’s no bell so I guess it’s just assumed.

Rating: D. This was exactly what it should have been as Undertaker vs. Heidenreich in a long match is nothing I ever need to see again. Since WWE seems to think they MUST finish this feud though, keeping it short is the best idea possible. Now just let Undertaker crush him at the Rumble (in another short match) and be done with it.

Overall Rating: D+. The opener carries a lot of the show and the Angle/Joy thing was fine, though the Undertaker vs. Heidenreich stuff just isn’t working. They need to get to the Royal Rumble build already so Cena can become the main event star he’s destined to be. You can feel the energy when he’s on screen and there’s no one even close to that right now.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: December 30, 2004
Location: Lakefront Arena, New Orleans, Louisiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’ll wrap up the year here as we’re back stateside after Tribute to the Troops. With that out of the way, it’s time to head towards the Royal Rumble, which hasn’t really been set up yet. It’s hard to say what we’re going to be getting tonight as Smackdown can go anywhere from one extreme to the other. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

General Manager Theodore Long announces that tonight will be the Night of Champions with every champion defending their title against an opponent of their choosing. I think you know where this is going.

Opening sequence.

Here’s John Cena to get things going. Cena talks about the calendar changing but the champ is still here. His New Year’s Resolution is to start a revolution, meaning that from now on there is no such thing as a John Cena fan. From now on, you’re a part of the chain gang and the same of him. They all fight and ride together and since they’re so close, Cena goes out into the crowd. Back in the ring, it’s time for the US Title match so come get a shot.

US Title: John Cena vs. Rene Dupree

Cena is defending and say if you want some, come get some, making this the first ever US Open Challenge. Dupree comes charging in and gets caught in a fisherman’s buster, allowing Cena to put on his robe. That means a funny little dance before the Shuffle and it’s time for Dupree to bail. Cena won’t have that though and catches Dupree with some headbutts. Back in and Dupree manages to whip him into the corner and then avoid a high crossbody, setting up the French Tickler. Cena is fine enough to drop him throat first across the top rope and the FU is good for the pin.

Rating: D. This was pretty much a squash with Cena barely breaking a sweat. The important thing here though is that Cena looked like a star and a main eventer, though there has been no mention of him going after the World Title yet. You can see the confidence in his eyes and that’s a great sign for the future.

JBL and Amy Weber have some great idea when they run into Joy Giovanni. Amy calls her fat and Joy asks what is up with the weird skin hanging from Amy’s neck. JBL yells at Joy but Big Show interrupts. Show wants the title shot tonight, which JBL will take into consideration. Amy and Joy are acceptable in these roles, assuming you ignore that the roles don’t need to exist.

Here’s Kurt Angle for his open challenge. He wants the shot at JBL as well, because Angle made him tap out two weeks ago. First though, let’s get on with the challenge.

Kurt Angle vs. Matt Stryker

Not the well known Striker. Angle wrestles him to the mat and hits a few shots to the head. The ankle lock is good for the tap in less than a minute.

Rob Van Dam and Rey Mysterio go over possible opponents for tonight. Van Dam suggests Moolah and Mae Young when Eddie Guerrero and Booker T. come in. The challenge is thrown out and I think you know where this is going. Eddie and Booker get in an argument over what the team name should be, with Booker thinking his name should be first because it’s alphabetical. Eddie: “What alphabet is that? The ebonics alphabet???”

We look back at Undertaker vs. Heidenreich last week with Heidenreich walking out. They’ll meet again at the Royal Rumble and Undertaker gets to pick the stipulation. We really need to build to that?

Daniel Puder introduces himself to the locker room but knocks someone’s bag off the bench. That would be Hardcore Holly, who doesn’t want to hear about Puder training for eight weeks. Puder apologizes for Holly taking eleven years to get here but wonders why Holly has never been in the main event of Wrestlemania. That’s where Puder is going to go after he wins the Royal Rumble. Holly thinks Puder has a lot to learn.

Long has another random woman in his office when JBL, Weber and Orlando Jordan come in. JBL is glad about getting to choose his opponent and has everyone’s name in a fish bowl. He draws a name and wants to go again but Long says it’s whoever is on that paper. JBL reluctantly agrees.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Shannon Moore

Moore is challenging and takes the Clothesline From JBL for the pin in about twenty seconds.

Post match Long comes out because he knows something is up. He wants to see what’s in the fish bowl, which Amy tries to hide. JBL yells a lot and Amy tries to leave but Joy jumps her from behind and the papers fall on the floor. As luck would have it, Long finds every paper has Moore’s name. Since JBL got to pick tonight, Long will pick for the Royal Rumble. That would be Kurt Angle, who comes out and calls JBL a liar, along with BUCKO. Angle calls him out for beating up someone small, with JBL saying Angle does that every week. Long cuts it off with a surprise: it’s going to be a triples threat match, also including Big Show.

Carlito doesn’t like Long and has a New Year’s Resolution of his own: to get rid of Long as GM. You can feel the petition coming from here. Josh Matthews can also feel the apple landing on his face from the spit.

Here’s Heidenreich for a chat because it seems that they’re giving us a break from the wrestling this week. Heidenreich insists that he is NOT scared of the Undertaker and even tried to give Undertaker a way out last week. Now Undertaker wants more? The Royal Rumble will be his final resting place because Heidenreich does not fear him.

Undertaker’s voice is heard and he promises to make Heidenreich rest in peace. Cue the druids with the casket, which of course has Undertaker inside. Heidenreich freaks as Cole speculates that we could be having a casket match. This would be your weekly example of “we don’t need commentary here”.

Mark Jindrak and Luther Reigns say they should be getting the Tag Team Title shot tonight because they’re awesome. The Basham Brothers come in to say they’re the real competition because they’re former champions. Eddie and Booker come in to say they’re winning the titles.

Cruiserweight Title: Funaki vs. Spike Dudley

Funaki is defending in an Armageddon rematch. Spike starts fast with some slams to start but the top rope double stomp misses. That’s not good enough for Funaki to get away so Spike wraps the ribs around the post. Tazz starts singing Auld Lang Syne as Spike stomps away in the corner. Commentary switches to a discussion about Dick Clark as the audio is clearly being dubbed over something else. Funaki gets in an enziguri and a bulldog for two, followed by a sunset flip (with a pretty fast count) to retain.

Rating: D+. They barely had time to do anything here and I had almost forgotten that Funaki was champion. The Cruiserweight division is already looking like it could go away with nothing changing and that’s not a good sign so soon after a new champion. There are talented cruiserweights around, but if they’re never going to be featured, it doesn’t really matter.

Long video on Tribute To The Troops.

Michelle McCool, Rochelle and Lauren are in the back and hit on Cena as he gets coffee. He doesn’t like being interrupted but changes his tune very quickly when he sees who they are. Lauren: “Can we see it?” Michelle: “Can we touch it?” Rochelle: “Can we play with it?” They mean the spinner belt. Cena seems pleased.

Raw Rebound.

RVD thinks Dawn Marie and Torrie Wilson should get the shot. Rey goes with the actual pick of Booker and Eddie (with Cole being shocked, as you knew he would be). Rey: “THEN we’ll face Dawn Marie and Torrie Wilson.”

Tag Team Titles: Eddie Guerrero/Booker T. vs. Rob Van Dam/Rey Mysterio

Eddie and Booker are challenging and during their entrances, we hear about how awesome last week was. Rey and Eddie start things off with Rey hitting a quick headscissors for an early standoff. We’ll switch things up a bit as Eddie grabs a hammerlock but that’s broken up as well, meaning the second standoff. Booker comes in and muscles Rey into the corner until Rey pops up with a dropkick.

It’s off to Van Dam and the fans are rather pleased with the change of pace. A headlock slows Booker down so he suplexes his way out, only to have Rob grab it again on the mat. Rob slams him down and it’s the 4:20 for two more. Everything breaks down for a bit with Rey being sent outside so the champs can take a breather. Back from a break with Rey missing a charge into the post to put him in trouble.

Eddie comes in for some right hands and sends Rey into a spinning kick to the face from Booker. Rey fights back with forearms to Eddie and a tornado DDT to put both of them down. Van Dam comes in for some shots to the face which don’t appear to have the most effort behind them. A monkey flip sets up the Five Star to Eddie so Booker makes a save. This time it’s Van Dam going shoulder first into the post and Booker clotheslines him down to break up a tag attempt.

Eddie hits Three Amigos for two on Van Dam with Rey making his own save. Booker grabs the chinlock as things settle down a bit. Rey has to break up a cover off a Book End, this time allowing Rob to kick Booker in the face. It’s back to Rey for a super hurricanrana on Booker but the ref gets bumped.

The 619 hits Booker but Eddie breaks up the springboard. Booker kicks Rey and Rob kicks Booker, followed by a hurricanrana to take both of them to the floor. With no referee, Eddie is tempted to go after a title, which he throws to Rey for the old playing possum spot. The referee actually catches on this time and Rey grabs a victory roll to retain.

Rating: B. This felt like a match where they were getting ready to launch into a great one but they just never got to that other level. Either way, it’s very nice to end the year on a rather good match with four people who can go for a long time. Counting commercials, this was over twenty minutes, which you don’t see to often.

Eddie and Booker aren’t happy but seem to agree that it was fair to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The main event helped but it felt like a lot of the people were taking the last week of the year off. Aside from the main event, nothing got any serious time with two of the matches adding up to less than a minute and a half. That being said, it makes a lot of sense to have a lighter show like this as they can start the build to the Royal Rumble next week. This was basically a week off and that’s ok given that it wasn’t likely to be a show many people were going to be watching in the first place.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: December 23, 2004
Location: Camp Speicher, Tikrit, Iraq
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It worked the first time so let’s do it again. This is the second annual Tribute to the Troops and since this is in the earlier years, it means they’re actually going to put in a little more effort. The show is outside in Iraq, meaning it’s going to be a bit warm. We even have a big match announced this time around with Undertaker vs. Heidenreich. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Vince McMahon to get things going. Vince talks about how the wrestlers have volunteered to come back for the volunteer military because they want to say thank you. They’ve come over here to boost the military’s spirit but it’s been the opposite because the soldiers are that inspiring.

Back home all you hear are all the negatives from Iraq and all the progress they’ve made around here. When he gets back to America, he’ll be telling some of those negative media personalities where they can go. For now though, on with the show, including Lilian Garcia as the attractive Mrs. Claus style ring announcer. Vince: “TEN HUT! I’ve always wanted to say that.”

Lilian sings the National Anthem, which she knocks out of the park as always.

Video on the roster arriving.

Rene Dupree vs. Booker T.

Expect to see a lot of America vs. foreigner matches tonight. The announcers are all over Dupree with the anti-French jokes because if you disagree with anything the military does, you’re a horrible stupid person. Feeling out process to start as the announcers list off a bunch of military personnel who made this possible.

Booker hits some hiptosses and a clothesline to take over as the fans are very into the raise the roof pose. I mean, that’s a few years old but points for trying at least. Dupree avoids a charge in the corner and drops an elbow setting up the French Tickler (Tazz: “IN IRAQ???”). The chinlock goes on for a few seconds with Booker popping up and hitting the flapjack. A Spinarooni into the ax kick gives Booker the pin.

Rating: D+. These matches are going to be on a sliding scale here as there is no point to suggest that the wrestling is what matters. Having the American beat the foreigner is as old hat as you can get on a show like this and that’s perfectly fine. Booker is someone who can fire up a crowd so this was a good choice for the opener.

A solider talks about getting to go home to see her husband.

Wrestlers meet troops and think Iraq isn’t as bad as it seems. They were even under fire at one point and we see a piece of a mortar that hit them. That’s enough to make them honorary Steel Tigers and they get a coin.

Here’s Santa Claus, who seems to be looking a little hardcore legendish this year. It might not be Christmas yet but he’s making a special trip here. As luck would have it, he brings out some WWE Divas to help him. That would be Torrie Wilson, Dawn Marie and Jackie Gayda, who seem to be rather popular. Lilian joins them in the ring and they throw out presents to the crowd.

They include in some hugs as a bonus but Santa invites them back inside. He has a gift for all of them in the bag, which of course would be lingerie. Well actually Dawn gets a half empty bottle of Gatorade. Santa: “Santa developed quite a thirst and felt the need to quench it.” The catfight is on and Dawn is sent outside. Torrie thinks something is up and realizes that Santa is in fact Mick Foley. The voice, the hunched walk, the being 6’4 and BEING SANTA CLAUS didn’t give that away?

We see a soldier reenlisting.

A soldier misses her family.

Undertaker vs. Heidenreich

No Heyman here with Heidenreich and no hat/coat/slowness for Undertaker. The smoke does come up though, which is kind of a weird visual without everything else. Undertaker slugs away to start and takes over without too much trouble. Could it be because he’s facing Heidenreich? Old School into a reverse DDT gives Undertaker two and it’s already time for a breather. A slugout on the floor goes to Undertaker and there’s the apron legdrop.

Back in and Snake Eyes connects but the big boot is countered with a swinging Boss Man Slam to give Heidenreich his own two. Heidenreich hammers away so Undertaker does the same, followed by the jumping clothesline for two more. Now Snake Eyes into the big boot connects and it’s a legdrop to make things even worse for Heidenreich. The soldiers want a Tombstone but settle for a broken up chokeslam so Heidenreich can bail to the floor and take the countout.

Rating: D. Good grief how is this feud continuing??? Does WWE really think that much of Heidenreich that they need to keep going with him here? His matches are terrible and his promos are far from anything special, but we get to see these two fight AGAIN because WWE can’t just let something go.

A soldier misses his newborn son. He gets to come home n Christmas Day though, which is a surprise to his wife.

Wrestlers talk about how awesome the trip has been.

More clips of the wrestlers doing military stuff. There isn’t much to say on these things as they’re just meeting troops and shots of events and equipment. The wrestlers want to come back.

Booker T. and some soldiers wish us a five time Merry Christmas.

Before the show, a General thanked the troops.

The same General thanked the wrestlers and gave them a special coin. Seeing Undertaker in street clothes is still bizarre.

Hardcore Holly vs. Kenzo Suzuki

I can’t complain about the repetitive formula here. Suzuki is wrestling barefoot here and hits an early hiptoss. Holly isn’t having that and chops Suzuki in the corner until a hot shot puts Holly in trouble. The chinlock doesn’t last long as Holly fights up and hits the dropkick. Holly’s top rope clothesline sets up the Alabama Slam for the fast pin.

Another soldier says hi and misses his family.

Video on the arena being set up. Some of the soldiers got to mess around in the ring for a bonus.

Here’s JBL in the Hummer, now with longhorns. JBL however is in a hazmat suit because….well because he’s a hard guy to figure out. After popping up the mask on the suit, he complains about the conditions here, including saying that the food has no exit strategy and the toilet paper is rather abrasive. JBL talks about how good things happens when he comes over here but he’s getting tired of bringing the good luck. Oh and where is the booze? We could call this place Rehabistan.

He’s happy to be our American hero and knows the fans want to chant his name. This time though, just whisper it so the enemy doesn’t know where they are. JBL leaves, promising to see us when the next war starts somewhere else. Cue Big Show to say he doesn’t like JBL making this all about himself. Show makes fun of the suit and knocks JBL to the floor with a right hand. As usual, when JBL is being over the top and goofy, he’s all kinds of fun.

Video on last year’s Tribute to the Troops and the thought process in setting this up.

Wrestlers, troops, troops, wrestlers.

Kurt Angle/Luther Reigns vs. Eddie Guerrero/Rey Mysterio

Call me crazy, but having Kurt Angle, the American hero, as the face might not work on this show. Angle tries to explain why he doesn’t such but Eddie cuts him off. Eddie and Rey drive out in a Hummer, with Tazz thinking Eddie stole it. Rey even has a camouflage mask. Rey and Angle start things off with Kurt easily taking him down and working on the arm. An armdrag into an armbar keeps Rey down for a bit and it’s Reigns coming in for a backbreaker.

Angle’s snap suplex gets two and Reigns hits another backbreaker for two of his own. Rey finally spins out and hits a tornado DDT to drop Reigns, setting up the hot tag to Eddie. The rope walk headscissors/wristdrag take the villains down but Angle reverses Three Amigos into the ankle lock. That’s broken up in a hurry but Reigns breaks up the 619. Eddie takes Angle down and now the 619 hits Reigns. The frog splash gets two with Angle making the save so Eddie sends him outside. Rey Drops The Dime to finish Reigns.

Rating: C+. Not a bad main event here with the three best guys doing everything they could and Reigns getting in his stuff at the right times. Much like the rest of the show, the wrestling wasn’t the point here but at least we got a good match out of it. That’s pretty impressive when they only had six minutes.

One more video of the wrestlers with the troops wraps us up.

Overall Rating: C+. I’m not sure what to say on this one. The whole point was about making the troops feel important with some wrestling included. They did that to the letter but the wrestling was just there for the most part. To be fair though, that’s exactly what you knew was coming. It’s exactly what it’s supposed to be and while it might not mean much, it was a cool thing to do and the show flew by.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: December 9, 2004
Location: Bi-LO Center, Greenville, South Carolina
Attendance: 2,300
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Armageddon and thank goodness for that. The last few weeks of shows have been nothing short of dreadful and I can’t wait to get this pay per view out of the way so we can move on to the Royal Rumble build. Tonight is likely going to feature a lot of Tough Enough and the other two stories that matter around here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look at JBL and the Cabinet beating down Undertaker last week.

The Cabinet is in the ring to open the show. JBL demands respect and talks about all the other former WWE Champions that aren’t as great as he is now. His three challengers on Sunday couldn’t beat him one on one and now they get a chance at the same time. It is a sick, sick joke and all Theodore Long’s fault. The lights go out and it’s Undertaker appearing to beat up the Cabinet, who run away in a hurry.

We recap Torrie Wilson vs. Hiroko, which is all because Kenzo Suzuki wants Torrie.

Battle Royal

Funaki, Chavo Guerrero, Billy Kidman, Nunzio, Paul London, Shannon Moore, Akio

The winner gets a Cruiserweight Title shot on Sunday. It’s the standard brawl to start with teased eliminations that don’t get very far. Nunzio takes a rather stupid trip to the top and gets kicked in the head for the first elimination. London hits a top rope double stomp to Akio’s back but gets dumped by Kidman. Funaki crotches Akio on top and Shannon dropkicks him out to get us down to four.

Kidman’s pop up powerbomb to Chavo is countered by a hurricanrana and Shannon grabs a swinging neckbreaker on Funaki. The announcers aren’t sure who to pick here as Funaki backdrops Shannon out. A Gory Bomb doesn’t get rid of Kidman so Funaki eliminates Kidman and Chavo at the same time for the win.

Rating: D. Pretty run of the mill battle royal with far too few people to make sense for a match like this and a rather uninspiring winner. The Cruiserweight division is back to its old standard of a champion and a random challenger with nothing in between. There’s nothing to see here and the division needs a change in a hurry.

Jackie Gayda begs Charlie Haas not to fight tonight as his eyes are bloody and his ribs are banged up. He’s going to do it anyway so here’s Josh to ask annoying questions about him being guest referee on Sunday. Of course he’s going to be partial. Well I certainly appreciate the honesty.

Mizanin wants Justice Smith and Daniel Puder to step into his reality on Sunday. He needs a lot of practice but you can see the talent there.

Jesus vs. Charlie Haas

Anything goes and falls count anywhere but we can’t say hardcore anymore. Carlito gets ejected before the match so he spits apple at Charles Robinson. Charlie starts fast and gets in a chair shot but Carlito brings out Dawn Marie, allowing Jesus to get in a chain shot to the head for the knockout in about 45 seconds.

Post match, Jackie and Dawn run in to check on Charlie and glare at each other.

Justice Smith doesn’t care who he knocks out on Sunday.

Luther Reigns sneaks up on Joy Giovanni and asks her to tell her boyfriend the Big Show that Reigns is looking for him. Bad acting ensues.

JBL and the Cabinet are leaving before tonight’s handicap match. Long says the Cabinet is a joke and says JBL is wrestling on his own on Sunday and if anyone comes out to help him, he is stripped of the title. Just cue up his victory music already. The Bashams come in to say there has been a security breach, meaning someone has stolen the tires from the limo and put it up on blocks. We cut to the arena where Eddie rolls out a tire. Eddie says he knows a guy who can get JBL a good deal on some tires but to save the tears for Sunday.

Daniel Puder rambles about how great a fighter he is. Mizanin really did outclass the other two by a long way.

Torrie Wilson is at a photo shoot when Michelle McCool delivers some flowers to her. They’re from Kenzo Suzuki and Torrie isn’t happy. Hiroko comes up and doesn’t like Torrie calling him a jerk so the catfight is on with Torrie being stripped to her underwear. The chase is on and Torrie strips her as well so they can run into the arena. Kenzo and Rene Dupree come in for the save so here are Rob Van Dam and Rey Mysterio for the real save. Cue Long to say let’s have Sunday’s title match right now.

Tag Team Titles: Rob Van Dam/Rey Mysterio vs. Kenzo Suzuki/Rene Dupree

Kenzo and Dupree are defending and we’re joined in progress with Rey getting chopped down. For some reason that means the hip swivel from Suzuki so Rey kicks him in the face and hands it off to Rob for the slingshot legdrop. Rene comes in and gets kicked down as well to give Rob two more. The illegal Rey adds a springboard seated senton to let Rob get another two off a sunset flip.

A Bronco Buster in the corner keeps Rene in trouble and it’s a split legged moonsault from Rob, with Kenzo hitting his partner in a botched save. 420 (with Cole quickly explaining the name as a combination of legs and shoe sizes) looks to set up the Five Star but Kenzo crotches Rob for the save. The chinlock slows things down a bit and Rene drops Rob on the back of his head for two.

Cole says that suddenly the champs are in control, despite them being on offense for the last minute plus since Cole said they took control in the first place. Kenzo comes in to add his own chinlock and it’s back to Rene for the French Tickler, with Tazz adding a lot through the singing. The dancing takes a bit too long though (well duh) and Rob scores with a kick to the face (like it would be anything else) to get a breather.

Rob finally kicks Kenzo down though and now the hot tag brings in Rey. A top rope seated senton and the spinning DDT get two on Kenzo, setting up another springboard seated senton (Rob is less subtle with his kicks to the face). Rolling Thunder from Rob gives Rey two with Rene making the save. There’s the 619 but Rene busts Rey’s spine before the cover. Hiroko puts Kenzo on top for two with the raised shoulder drawing a scream. Back up and Rey grabs a rollup with Rob pulling on his arm for the pin and the titles. Thankfully Cole points out how Kenzo and Rene cheated to keep the titles at No Mercy.

Rating: D+. It was rather dull when the champs were on offense and it that is a surprise, then you haven’t been paying attention lately. Rob and Rey’s offense wasn’t much better as they were doing the same stuff over and over again. That being said, I’ll take the title change over anything else as Kenzo and Rene have sucked the life out of the titles every time they’re in the ring.

Video on the house show tour.

Video on HHH beating up Ryan Reynolds in Blade: Trinity.

Armageddon rundown. My already low interest falls even further.

It’s Tough Enough time and Justice Smith is eliminated. That leaves Puder and Mizanin to face off in a boxing match on Sunday. That’s not enough though as we have to have the American Gladiators style joust first. It’s 2/3 falls and Puder wins 2-0 with ease. This was FAR shorter than usual as they weren’t even out there for five minutes total and it helped a lot.

Raw Rebound.

Booker T. stretches with Michelle McCool and reveals that he stole JBL’s hat. Now though, it has a hole in the top for his hair.

Here’s Kurt Angle for the Kurt Angle Invitational, though he looks to be limping a bit. This week’s hometown hero: the Big Show. Well at least it isn’t Moolah. Angle grabs a mic though and says this isn’t happening because Show isn’t getting it down to 2-1 on Sunday. Instead, Show can face….Mark Jindrak, as introduced by Luther Reigns, who doesn’t seem interested in the spot.

Big Show vs. Mark Jindrak

Show tosses Jindrak, in street clothes, into the corner for the early stomping and a headbutt to make it even worse. The overhand chops and step on the chest continue Big Show’s Greatest Hits. Jindrak’s dropkick earns him a big boot but Angle’s distraction lets Jindrak chop block Show. It doesn’t seem to matter that much though, as Show grabs the chokeslam, earning himself a chair shot from Angle for the DQ.

Post match Angle hits Show in the back with the steps for a good shot.

Heidenreich lays in a small room and watches a clock. The ticking gets very loud until Paul Heyman comes in with medication. He takes it, and thanks Heyman for visiting him again. Heyman even has a surprise: Heidenreich’s therapy is complete and he can come back to Smackdown. Heidenreich is happy there though and won’t leave. He does thank Heyman for visiting him though, so at least he’s polite.

Booker T./Eddie Guerrero/Undertaker vs. The Cabinet

Amy Weber is here with the Cabinet though there’s no limo. Eddie has the low rider though, complete with JBL’s tires on the back. It’s a brawl to start with JBL hanging back instead of getting involved. The Cabinet is sent outside without much effort and we take an early break. Back with the smoke still in the ring from Undertaker’s entrance and Booker kicking Danny in the face.

Eddie comes in and stomps in the corner, followed by a poke to the eye to slow Danny down. It’s back to Booker as they’re saving Undertaker for the big tag at the end. Danny finally clotheslines Eddie, allowing the first tag off to JBL. A glare from the Undertaker is enough to hand it off to Danny, but Undertaker chases JBL into the crowd. We settle back down to Eddie in trouble with Doug dropping a leg and grabbing a seated full nelson. Eddie fights up so JBL gets in a cheap shot from the apron to cut him off again.

JBL comes in and puts on a sleeper until it’s a suplex to freedom. The fall away slam is countered into a DDT and NOW it’s Undertaker time, with Orlando Jordan getting to be the first victim. The legdrop hits the side of the head for a change of pace and everything breaks down. Eddie ducks a belt shot from JBL and the champ is surrounded. Jordan makes the save and gets chokeslammed, leaving Eddie and Booker to beat up the Bashams. Eddie hits a frog splash and it’s the Tombstone to give Undertaker the pin.

Rating: C-. Not too bad here with Undertaker being the big ending, but my goodness they’re not even trying to hide how much they’re telegraphing JBL retaining on Sunday. The more they stack up the odds, the more obvious it is that he’s keeping the title again and that’s going to be really annoying when Sunday is over.

JBL is terrified to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. It wasn’t a good show, but this was miles better than what they’ve been doing recently. Maybe it was Tough Enough being so short or maybe it was giving something other than the World Title match some focus, but this wasn’t as bad as the rest of the shows from the last few weeks. The problem is that it still wasn’t very good as they’re firmly in the holiday break season.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: December 2, 2004
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re finally into December and things have been a near nightmare around here as of late. With a combination of the Tough Enough stuff taking over the show and very limited wrestling, I’m not sure what is supposed to make me want to keep watching the thing. That has never stopped WWE before though so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

JBL and the Cabinet (complete with the Bashams being named the Co-Secretaries of Defense) arrive late with Theodore Long not being happy. Tonight the Bashams can face Booker T. and Eddie Guerrero while JBL and Orlando Jordan can face the Undertaker. Two matches made in less than two minutes. Not too shabby.

Opening sequence.

Rey Mysterio/Rob Van Dam/Torrie Wilson vs. Kenzo Suzuki/Rene Dupree/Hiroko

Fallout from last week’s brawl which started over Kenzo oogling Torrie. Hiroko shoves Torrie before the bell and strikes the Crane Kick pose because we need more stereotypes in this one. Rob and Rene start things off but hang on as Dupree needs to bow to Suzuki first. We get what looks like one of the same sequences Van Dam used to do with Jerry Lynn until Rene is sent to the floor.

That leaves the women to come in and roll over Kenzo, who likes it so much that he swivels his hips. Rey loads up a 619 on Hiroko but walks into a spinebuster, followed by the French Tickler. Rey is back up and plants Rene, setting up a Five Star from Van Dam so Rey can grab a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D-. I have no idea what the point of this was other than stretching us out for another week before we get to what should be a layup of a title change at the pay per view. The match was barely a thing and focused way too much on the stupid Kenzo angle. He hasn’t been interesting since he debuted and that isn’t going to change with having a thing for Torrie.

After that waste of time, here are the Tough Enough guys for their weekly shindig. Ryan Reeves isn’t quitting due to his broken ribs so let’s look at who each person wants voted off.

Mizanin wants Puder gone because he’s a suckup and hasn’t actually fought in the UFC.

Reeves wants Puder gone for not wanting to be a wrestler and only being here to get himself over in MMA.

Smith wants Puder gone for being too overconfident.

Puder wants Smith off because he’s been on other shows before and doesn’t want to be a wrestler.

Ryan Reeves is voted off. That leaves us with three, and next week another will be voted off. The remaining two will box at Armageddon, but there’s another competition tonight. This week: they get to dress like women.

Hiroko doesn’t like Kenzo wanting Torrie and since her milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, she wants Torrie in a bra and panties match next week.

Charlie Haas vs. Jesus

Before the bell, Carlito gets in the ring and says he doesn’t like Charlie hogging up the women like Jackie and Dawn Marie. Carlito hits on Jackie and puts his hand on her shoulder so Charlie grabs him, meaning it’s a beatdown from Jesus. Haas gets posted and chained in the chest. No match.

Post match Long yells at Carlito and Jesus, the latter of whom gets to have a street fight against John Cena at Armageddon.

Raw Rebound.

Michelle McCool stretches with Eddie Guerrero and Booker T. She feels some negative energy though and the tensions seem ready to boil over. They argue over losing title shots but Michelle calms them down before their tag match later. At least she has a few perks.

Basham Brothers vs. Eddie Guerrero/Booker T.

JBL is out for commentary with Jordan at his side. After a quick argument over who gets to start, Booker knocks Doug into the corner and stomps him down. A running clothesline puts Doug on the floor and we take a break. Back with Eddie leg lariating Danny into the corner for some stomping of his own.

Some double teaming lets the Bashams take over so Eddie snaps off a hurricanrana to get himself out of trouble. Eddie feeds Doug into a side kick from Booker for two but the referee yells at Eddie, allowing the Bashams to take over again. We cut over to JBL ranting about how awesome of an athlete he is as the Bashams take turns on Booker.

The flapjack plants Doug and Eddie comes in as JBL threatens lawsuits over commentary criticizing him. Everything breaks down and Eddie low bridges Doug but sends Booker to the floor at the same time by mistake. The argument is on and Danny knocks Eddie into Booker from behind. We’ll get to the explosion later, but for now it’s a rollup with ropes to give Danny the pin.

Rating: C. The Bashams have had one match as part of the Cabinet and they’re already about 18485% better than Jordan. They look better, they’re actually effective in the ring and they didn’t need three chinlocks to get them through a nine minute match. This was all it needed to be and Eddie vs. Booker could be good once we’re done with the pay per view.

Post match JBL Clotheslines Eddie and Booker.

Kurt Angle Invitational: Kurt Angle vs. Sebastian McCauley

Angle Slam and ankle lock in less than a minute.

Post match Angle has Mark Jindrak and Luther Reigns join him in the ring because he wants to make something right. Now he wants Joy Giovanni in the ring because she was embarrassed last week. Reigns apologizes for last week with the Thanksgiving meal because he got carried away. As an apology, he offers her dinner tonight, his treat of course.

Joy accepts the apology but says she already has dinner plans with Big Show. Angle thinks that’s insulting to the three of them so Reigns gets more aggressive in asking about that dinner. Cue Big Show for the save and a challenge to fight all three of them at once but the bad guys bail.

We look back at last week’s Christmas in Iraq.

And now, the Tough Enough contestants in drag. Mizanin is in a Metallica shirt, Daisy Duke shorts and has a six pack of Miller Lite. As a bonus, he even does the slow lean into the ring ala Stacy Keibler. The other two are just guys in drag with little effort. Cue Hardcore Holly (Cole: “If anyone was homophobic, it would be Hardcore Holly.”) to say these are some ugly women.

They each have thirty seconds to prove that Holly is the object of their affections, which is too far for Holly. Snow: “Are you saying you’re not tough enough?”

Holly actually stays and Michelle Mizanin (just go with it) asks if he likes whips and chains. He leans over and asks if Hardcore can smack that and thankfully the time is up.

Justina Smith talks about speaking with Hardcore’s mama, who says he likes lobsters. For a present, he pulls out a bottle of “crunk juice”….and a live lobster. Snow: “GIVE ME THE MIC!”

Daniella Puder has a Puder Bear and admires the way Holly fills out his trunks.

Mizanin wins, ending one of the most embarrassing things I’ve ever seen as a wrestling fan. Thankfully Holly punches Snow out for putting him through all this.

Armageddon rundown.

Here’s Dawn Marie to say that her sexy Santa outfit is better than Jackie’s earlier tonight. Jackie runs out and the brawl is on. Long comes out and makes a match between the two of them at Armageddon with Haas as guest referee.

Undertaker vs. John Bradshaw Layfield/Orlando Jordan

The Bashams are banned from ringside but Amy Weber is given a chair. Jordan starts for the team as JBL chills on the floor, looking rather terrified. The threat of a right hand sends JBL bailing off the apron but Jordan’s kick to the face just annoys Undertaker again. A trip to the floor lets Undertaker beat up Jordan some more, followed by a Downward Spiral for two back inside.

JBL makes the save and gets Snake Eyes into a big boot and the bad guys are sent outside in a heap to end us to a break. Back with Undertaker hitting a side slam for two on Jordan with JBL making another save. The apron legdrop crushes JBL and the jumping clothesline drops Jordan. The Last Ride is broken up with a big boot so JBL is willing to come in, allowing Undertaker to grab a legbar. Jordan stomps away, making Cole think he could be champion one day. Thankfully a DDT cuts off that nonsense and it’s time for the double chokeslam, drawing a low blow from JBL for the DQ.

Rating: D. That’s only because it wasn’t as bad as the first match. This feud has been a disaster and this match didn’t do it any favors with a long, boring beatdown from Undertaker until HAHA LOW BLOW for the finish. You really can’t have Jordan take a chokeslam for the pin? His whole job is to take a beating and that can’t be the finish?

Post match Undertaker comes back and beats them up some more until the Bashams come in. The big beatdown leaves Undertaker laying to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. The Basham Brothers were the best thing about this show. The build to Armageddon is almost entirely based on the four way and the Tag Team Titles, meaning Kenzo and Dupree are one four of the pay per view build. Other than that, you have Angle vs. Show, which is fine but something we just recently covered. Dawn vs. Jackie is good for eye candy but I need something with a little more substance. The less said about Tough Enough the better.

Right now Smackdown feels like a classroom where the teacher put a movie on and hoped for the best. It might keep a few people quiet, but there is nothing for the majority of the people there. I’m sure it’s going to get better when the Rumble season starts, but until then we’re stuck with this no effort show and it’s making me long for the days of Maven being a focal point of Raw.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: November 25, 2004
Location: Blue Cross Arena, Rochester, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s Thanksgiving and that means we’re likely in for a heavily themed show. That’s rarely a good idea around here as WWE doesn’t have the best track record with these things. That being said, there are worse things they could do, like focus on Orlando Jordan vs. Josh Matthews again. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Vince McMahon narrates a video thanking the troops.

Opening sequence.

Joy Giovanni is setting the Thanksgiving table and happens to be leaning over quite a bit.

Here’s Torrie Wilson, tonight’s ring announcer, to wish us a happy Thanksgiving and hopes we saved room for dessert: Smackdown. With that bad line out of the way, she introduces the first match.

Rey Mysterio vs. Rene Dupree

Kenzo Suzuki and Rob Van Dam are barred from ringside. Dupree has a black eye coming in and the announcers try to figure where it came from. Maybe a match perhaps? Rey starts fast with the top rope wristdrag but the springboard crossbody is dropkicked out of the air. A guillotine legdrop misses, which is far better than jumping straight down with nothing in mind. Rey’s sitout bulldog gets two more but the 619 attempt is sidestepped for a crash to the floor. Rene’s bad luck continues with a posting and the springboard seated senton gets two. Now the 619 can connect, setting up the springboard legdrop for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was as generic of a match as you can get with both guys doing their regular stuff and getting out of there in a few minutes. You’re only going to get so much out of a match like this but since there are almost no other teams on the show, this is about all you can expect for a build towards the title match. They might as well bring out Van Dam and Suzuki for their match now.

In the back, Hiroko explains Thanksgiving to Kenzo Suzuki, who is too busy fawning over Torrie. Hiroko gets the point and leaves in a huff.

We recap last week’s Tough Enough competition.

Here are Al Snow and the Tough Enough competitors for this week’s shenanigans. Ryan Reeves has two broken ribs but he isn’t quitting. This week’s elimination: Daniel Rodimer, who would bounce around developmental for a long time as a Stephanie McMahon project that never worked out. Tonight it’s arm wrestling with Mizanin having to compete right handed to make it even less fair. Puder beats Mizanin in about a second and Reeves beats Smith, albeit with some more effort. After Smith and Mizanin give their predictions, Puder actually beats Reeves without much trouble.

Eddie and Booker T. are ready for their tag match tonight against JBL and Orlando Jordan. Amy Weber comes in and offers her services as an image consultant, which manages to drive a wedge between them over who will be winning the upcoming title match. Booker talks about Eddie already getting his rematch but Eddie explains why those weren’t fair. Eddie talks about Booker being a five time WCW World Champion and it turns into an argument over family. Amy breaks it up by saying they’re forgetting about Undertaker. Eddie says he doesn’t forget anything and leaves angry.

As we transition to the announcers, we get a CGI version of JBL’s entrance….with JBL as a turkey in the limo. These have been going on throughout the night and they’re as bizarre as they sound.

We recap John Cena winning the US Title from Carlito last week and getting attacked by Jesus after. His kidney is messed up pretty badly.

Carlito and Jesus brag about the injury with Carlito saying Jesus took care of Cena. They still have the chain that injured the kidney last week, which was like a drive by. Jesus says he showed Cena what it was like to be from the streets and if Cena ever comes back, he’ll do it again anywhere Cena wants. Carlito spits apple at the camera.

Rey and RVD alternate between Spanish and English about Rob vs. Suzuki.

Rob Van Dam vs. Kenzo Suzuki

Rey and Rene are barred this time. Rob starts fast with the kicks to the face but gets crotched on top to cut off the momentum. A running clothesline gives Kenzo two as the announcers talk about Japanese Thanksgiving. Kenzo drops a running knee, which Cole describes as “well that was a knee to the nose”, because he’s good at explaining the obvious. Rob fights up with a kick to the face, followed by a springboard kick to the face for good measure. Rolling Thunder connects to set up the Five Star but Hiroko gets in the way. She also hands over her sash, which Kenzo uses to choke Van Dam for the DQ.

Rating: D. So the solution to the boring Tag Team Champions is to have them wrestle two bad matches. They can’t drop the titles soon enough as this has been a terrible reign between two guys who couldn’t get a strong reaction if their lives depended on it. Kenzo going after Torrie isn’t going to work either, though at least it seems that they’re moving towards the team dropping the title.

Post match Hiroko goes after Torrie to set up a catfight with Kenzo breaking it up and gyrating in front of Torrie. Rob kicks him in the face.

Joy has put all the food in the ring with Josh Matthews hosting Big Show’s Thanksgiving. Show is happy to celebrate his favorite holiday and says he’s glad to celebrate with the greatest announce team of all time. Well he would if this was Monday and Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler were here. Show plugs the Rise and Fall of ECW DVD before asking Tazz not to have a flashback and suplex him through the pumpkin pie. Fans: “ECW! ECW!” Show: “You should buy the DVD!”

Show talks about eating a bunch of food when he was a kid, to the point where his dad put a lock on the refrigerator. Then one Thanksgiving his sister brought her boyfriend over. That wasn’t working for Show, so he waited until no one was looking, knocked him out with a turkey, tied him up and threw him into the neighbor’s yard. He told the sister that the boyfriend went home so she went after him, meaning more food for Show.

Now it’s on to all the food he liked to eat, including the cranberry sauce that better be shaped like a can. He calls Cole, Tazz, Tony Chimmel and the production staff to the ring to eat because it’s time to share the wealth. Everyone goes to eat but here’s Luther Reigns to interrupt. Reigns talks about never having a Thanksgiving because he was always in prison.

These people talk about not having enough to eat but he spent his time trying to stay alive. Reigns gets in the ring and makes Joy put him some food together, earning herself a pie to the face. Show sends him into the food and Reigns bails, leaving everyone else to get in a food fight. Joy pies Show to make things even.

I remember watching this live and the same thing stood out to me nearly fifteen years ago: Show sounded natural. This wasn’t scripted and was pretty obviously him being told “go talk about Thanksgiving for a few minutes.” Show is a good talker so it’s not like there was any danger there. Why that isn’t done today is one of the great mysteries of modern WWE.

The announcers are covered in food.

Here’s Kurt Angle, with armed security, for a chat. Angle is thankful for this holiday but not as thankful as the fans are for him starting the Kurt Angle Invitational. The security holds up the Gold Medal and tonight it’s time for someone else to get a shot at it.

Kurt Angle vs. Cody Steele

The fans chant what sounds like LIAR when Cody says he’s from Rochester. Angle even volunteers to drop down to all fours so Cody can have an early advantage. The reversal takes all of five seconds and Angle hits him in the face. That means a breather for Steele, who agrees to go down as well because he doesn’t seem that bright. Of course Angle kicks him in the face and it’s the Angle Slam into the ankle lock for the fast tap.

Angle gets in a little more ankle cranking for a bonus.

The remaining Tough Enough participants get twenty seconds each to tell us what they’re thankful for.

Mizanin is glad to be here, for the Mizfits who vote for him and for not being Daniel Puder.

Reeves is thankful for food and family. He does a survey asking who the people are here to see and Snow has to take the mic away from him for taking too long.

Smith thanks God, friends, family and the fans.

Puder says just about the same thing as Smith while promising to win. His three favorite words are Snap Crackle and Pop and he’ll show us what that means soon.

We look back at Heidenreich breaking down last week.

Paul Heyman talks about Heidenreich being under round the clock supervision and on medication. He knows a different side of Heidenreich, who is a very sensitive man. Heyman actually bows his head in prayer for him. I’ll give WWE this: they’re trying everything they can with Heidenreich, even if he’s that terrible.

Jackie Gayda and Michelle McCool are stretching for obvious reasons when Charlie Haas comes in. Michelle leaves and Charlie likes Jackie’s pilgrim outfit. Jackie is ready to rip Dawn Marie’s costume off and then her head is coming with it. That makes Charlie happy and he doesn’t like the rumors of him cheating on her with Dawn Marie. Kissing ensues. That’s better than Charlie talking again.

Dawn Marie vs. Jackie Gayda

Indian vs. Pilgrim. Catfight, referee shoved, done in thirty seconds.

Post match Charlie tries to break it up and pulls Dawn off. It says a lot when a story about two gorgeous women fighting in small outfits is this uninteresting.

Booker T./Eddie Guerrero vs. John Bradshaw Layfield/Orlando Jordan

JBL and Eddie start by throwing the towel at each other until Eddie snaps off some armdrags. Booker comes in and side slams Jordan for two because Jordan is really not very good. A JBL cheap shot from the apron lets Jordan take Booker down and we hit the chinlock. It’s back to JBL for an elbow to the face and some elbow drops get two.

Jordan grabs another chinlock as Cole thinks the fans are split on who they want as champion. As long as it’s not JBL that is. Booker gets up pretty easily and makes the hot tag off to Eddie so house can be cleaned. Three Amigos keep JBL in trouble and everything breaks down. JBL powerbombs Eddie out of the corner and boots Booker in the face.

Booker pops up for the ax kick but a fan in a Rey Mysterio mask decks Booker in the jaw. There’s something hilarious about the smartened up security guard sitting there with his arms crossed as a fake fan attacks a wrestler. So much for suspension of disbelief. It’s Danny Basham, followed by another “fan” (Cole: “Now who could this be?” I’m guessing the other fan helping Danny Basham is…..Funaki probably.) shoving Eddie off the top. That would be Doug Basham, who smiles as the Clothesline From JBL finishes Eddie.

Rating: D. Believe it or not, Jordan was in fact able to bring down a pair of Hall of Famers and JBL, who should be in there too. There’s no way to believe that he’s a threat to these two and yet he’s in there week after week for reasons I still don’t understand. It’s another bad match to close out the show, which really doesn’t surprise me.

Post match Undertaker comes out to crush JBL, leaving the Bashams as an afterthought to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. I’ve had to say this a lot lately but I feel so sorry for the fans who bought tickets to this. Quick matches from the Tag Team Title feud, an Angle squash, a thirty second match between Dawn and Jackie, a food fight and a thirty second long arm wrestling tournament from people fighting for a chance to train in developmental. Then their big main event: an Orlando Jordan match. If I paid money for this show, I wouldn’t be coming back and that’s been the case for a few weeks now.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 22, 2019
Location: Wells Fargo Arena, Des Moines, Iowa
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Renee Young

It’s kind of a new world around here as we have the first show with all the new talent brought over in the Superstar Shakeup. That could be a good or a bad thing, but given how many changes they’ve managed to make since the Shakeup took place, your guess is as good as mine about what they’re doing here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Tonight it’s a pair of triple threat matches with the winners facing off later in the night for the #1 contendership to the Universal Title.

Here’s HHH to open things up but before he can say anything, Universal Champion Seth Rollins (the hometown boy) joins him. We get a quick hug before Rollins gets to soak in the cheers. Rollins talks about everything he’s been through in recent weeks, including stomping Brock Lesnar’s bucket head three times at Wrestlemania. HHH seems impressed but we pause for a BURN IT DOWN chant.

The landscape has changed recently and that brings them to Money in the Bank. Rollins knows all about that because he’s cashed in and been cashed in on, but that’s not happening again. HHH says worry about the night of Money in the Bank rather than the briefcase, which Rollins thinks means Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar. Actually it means the two triple threats, which we heard about five minutes ago.

This brings out Samoa Joe, who likes the Becky Lynch plan of a belt on each shoulder. Rey Mysterio comes out to say he wants Seth at Money in the Bank. Now it’s Drew McIntyre saying that he would be the Universal Champion if he had gotten to Lesnar first. Miz is out next, saying that he’s been rebooted thanks to Shane McMahon. Nothing sounds better as a headliner for Money in the Bank than Miz vs. Rollins but now it’s Baron Corbin (with some loud booing) to interrupt.

Corbin should get the title shot because he’s the only person to retire a Gold Medalist at Wrestlemania. Just to complete the set, here’s AJ Styles to say Corbin’s face is almost as annoying as his voice. Styles says he’s ready to make Raw the house that he built by winning the Universal Title at Money in the Bank. Rollins is ready for all of them because he’s Seth Freaking Rollins and he’ll burn it down. This was WAY longer than it needed to be with six versions of “it’s my title shot”.

AJ Styles vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Samoa Joe

One fall to a finish. Rey gets knocked into the corner to start and AJ hits Joe with forearms. A pop up hurricanrana drops Joe as I try to figure out why Mysterio and Joe are on the same level after Joe annihilated him at Wrestlemania. With Joe on the floor, AJ snaps off a backbreaker and knees Joe through the ropes. That’s too much fun though and it’s Joe coming back in to run both of them over and hammer away on Rey in the corner. Mysterio is sent hard out to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Rey charging into the scoop powerslam with AJ making a save. Rey gets up and drops AJ but Joe is smart enough to roll to the floor to avoid the 619. That means a dive onto Joe so AJ and Rey can go up top at the same time. Joe comes back in and super backdrops both of them for the triple knockdown.

We take another break and come back again with Rey sending AJ to the floor and hitting a nasty crucifix bomb on Joe. There’s the tornado DDT to plant Joe again and everyone is down. The 619 is countered into the Koquina Clutch but AJ makes a save. That means a 619 to Joe but AJ comes in again and hits the Styles Clash to Rey onto Joe for the pin on Joe (of course) at 17:48.

Rating: B. I’m not even going to bother yelling about Joe taking the fall as it’s just not worth it anymore. AJ advancing on to the main event makes sense, though I’m scared about the idea of Corbin getting the title shot. The action was good here with three hard workers in there, though my hopes for Joe running through the roster is already looking unlikely.

We look at John Cena guest hosting the Ellen DeGeneres Show.

Naomi vs. Billie Kay

Before the match, the IIconics tell Naomi thank you next, but can’t remember who sings the song. After remembering who it is, they wonder who is backing the Glow. Billie takes her down into an armbar but Naomi is right back up with the sitout jawbreaker. After knocking Peyton off the apron, it’s a sunset flip to finish Billie at 1:11.

Creepy dollhouse vignette.

The Miz vs. Baron Corbin vs. Drew McIntyre

Again, one fall to a finish. McIntyre and Corbin double team Miz to start, knocking him to the floor and then bringing him back inside to keep up the beating. Corbin switches over to punching McIntyre in the face and going outside, where McIntyre sends him into the barricade. Back in and McIntyre suplexes Miz for two but Corbin’s distraction lets Miz get back up for the Daniel Bryan offense. McIntyre takes Miz up top for a super White Noise but Corbin adds a powerbomb for the Tower of Doom as we take a break.

Back with Miz diving onto the two of them on the outside. Miz throws McIntyre back inside for the Figure Four until a thumb to the eye breaks it up. Deep Six gives Corbin two on Miz but Corbin misses a charge into the steps to knock himself out. That leaves Miz and Corbin to trade pinfall attempts until a short DDT gets two on McIntyre. Another gets the same on Corbin so Drew sends Corbin outside. The Claymore drops Miz and Corbin comes back in to shove McIntyre to the floor and steal the pin at 15:01.

Rating: C+. You knew Corbin was winning, I knew Corbin was winning, the fans should have known Corbin was winning, and the world should have known Corbin was winning. Why? He’s the guy who wrestles in gear that makes him look like an assistant manager at Applebees, was the focal point of Raw when the show’s ratings tanked like never before, and has fewer great matches than I have terms as Governor of New Hampshire. And now we get to see him wrestle again tonight!

AJ Styles says he’s ready for Corbin and lists off the accolades, with AJ winning every one of them.

Here’s Sami Zayn to say he’s here to tell you the truth about yourself. No one likes to hear about how negative they are, which triggered the denial and deflection. The fans have created this false narrative of everything wrong with Sami, even though he understands what it’s like to be outside these walls. We see some photos of him in various nature locations and some historic locations.

Sami points out the huge smile on his face which goes away when he comes back here. There must be a problem and it’s all the fans here. It’s the toxic culture that the fans put on both him and themselves. It’s easier to blame him than accept the blame for all of this because the fans get in this mob mentality. That won’t keep them safe from him though because he’d rather be in any of those places than here. If the fans don’t like that, they can all take a trip to h***.

Video on Cedric Alexander.

Cesaro vs. Cedric Alexander

Cesaro is freshly on Raw as well. Alexander gets powered into the corner to start but an anklescissors sends Cesaro outside. Back in and Cesaro slams him down, setting up a neck crank to keep things slow. Cesaro forearms him in the back a few times before going back to the chinlock.

A boot to the face drops Cedric again but he fights back up with forearms and a spinning back elbow to the jaw. Cedric grabs a rather nice Michinoku Driver for two and the Neuralizer keeps Cesaro in trouble. The big running flip dive to the floor connects but Cesaro uppercuts him out of the air for the knockout pin at 6:25.

Rating: B-. Cedric looked great here and the more he can get in the awesome work he’s capable of the better. Just keep him away from longer promos as he really can’t talk well enough to survive on this level. Cesaro being back on his own and getting a win is a good sign, but I’m not believing anything about his push until I see some results.

The Usos are ready to fight everyone around here (including the Viking Raiders, as the name was so bad that even WWE buckled under the negative response). The Revival comes in and laughs off the idea of the Usos being great. That’s not cool with the Usos, who are ready to fight whenever.

Viking Raiders vs. Lucha House Party

The Raiders jump them from behind and the beatdown is on with the masked guys taking a beating. The pop up powerslam is now dubbed the Viking Experience because those WWE names MUST BE HEARD NO MATTER HOW MUCH EVERYONE HATED THEM!!! No match.

Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder aren’t worried about the new competition around here.

Here’s Becky Lynch for a chat. She talks about Lacey Evans being her first challenger around here and doesn’t mind being sucker punched. Becky has thrown a few punches of her own but it’s the person throwing her that bothers her. Lacey is another bleach blonde who uses certain skills to curry favors with management.

While Lacey is back there “furthering her career”, Lynch wants a fight right now. This brings out Lacey to say that it’s typical of a man to disrespect a lady, though maybe it’s just the Irish in her. At Money in the Bank, Becky will understand respect and those two titles (Two?) will belong to Lacey. Becky says she’s been on a journey and Lacey is on her last nerves. Do not confuse happiness with contentment because Becky is coming for her at Money in the Bank.

Becky Lynch vs. Alicia Fox

Non-title. Fox’s headlock doesn’t work and Becky sends her outside without much effort. Becky goes to the floor as well and gets driven hard into the barricade as we take a break. Back with Becky getting a sloppy headscissors but being sent outside before the Disarm-Her can go on. Becky drives her into the barricade this time and it’s the Disarm-Her to make Fox tap at 8:02.

Rating: D-. Yes they really brought back Fox for this horrid match which managed to bring Becky down. I tried to defend Fox for as long as I could because I liked her charisma but egads this was hard to sit through. It didn’t help that the match felt like eight hours instead of eight minutes. Terrible stuff and get rid of Fox already.

Post match Lacey punches Becky out twice in a row.

Corbin says he deserves to win the title and is ready to make Rollins pay for making his life miserable.

Ricochet vs. Robert Roode

Yes it’s Robert and he has a Rick Rude mustache to go with the new name. During his entrance (still with Glorious), Roode talks about losing 150lbs of dead weight with Chad Gable being gone. Now he can show why he’s glorious. Graves promises a spike in pregnancies after all the women see Roode’s mustache, which sends Renee off commentary in laughter.

A headlock slows Ricochet down to start but he’s right back with an anklescissors to send Roode into the ropes. Ricochet sends him outside and hits a picture perfect moonsault from the middle rope to the floor. Back from a break with Roode holding a chinlock and Graves continuing his pregnancy theories. A suplex gives gives Roode two more and we hit the reverse chinlock.

Ricochet fights up and hits a hurricanrana, followed by kicking the buckle into Roode’s head. The springboard clothesline sets up a standing shooting star press for two but Roode hits a spinebuster for two of his own. The Glorious DDT is countered into a swinging GTS but the 630 misses. Roode sends him into the buckle and hits the Glorious DDT for the pin at 11:18.

Rating: C-. They see more in Roode than in Ricochet? The Roode who is now ripping off Rick (and Silas Young in a way) Rude and hasn’t exactly been thrilling in his WWE run? I get the idea of trying to push someone while you can, but did this need to be Ricochet taking the fall? There’s no one else around whatsoever?

We go to the Firefly Fun House, which looks like a children’s program. Bray Wyatt (looking slim) in a longsleeved shirt comes in and introduces himself, saying he knew we would be together again. Offscreen children cheer and Bray can’t wait to show what he’s learned. He ducks his head and looks to come up evil but he’s just kidding. Bray introduces us to his special friends: Mercy the Buzzard and Peppy the Witch (the stars of the creepy vignettes). See, Bray used to be a bad man, which makes the children boo.

That part of him is dead now, but he always keeps a memory with him to prevent that from ever happening again. That would be a cardboard cutout of his old look…..and Bray whips out a chainsaw and cuts it in half. The fun is just getting started and remember that he’ll always light the way, so all you have to do is let him in. I have no idea what to think of this but it was disturbing in a lot of ways.

Next week: the Money in the Bank names are revealed.

Baron Corbin vs. AJ Styles

The winner gets Rollins at Money in the Bank. AJ seems to have an ankle or leg injury so it’s right hands instead of the dropkick. AJ’s springboard is blocked with a right hand to the face and Corbin sends him hard into the corner. They head outside with AJ being whipped in the barricade and getting dropped ribs first onto said barricade as we take a break. Back with AJ fighting out of a chinlock but getting slammed down onto his face for two.

Styles gets in some kicks to the leg but it’s too early for the Calf Crusher. Instead AJ goes with the running seated forearm and a spinning backfist to rock Corbin. A rollup into a Styles Clash attempt is broken up and it’s Deep Six for two. The Calf Crusher goes on this time though until Corbin slams him head first into the mat for the break. AJ gets sent into the corner but comes back with a kick to the head. The Phenomenal Forearm sends AJ to Money in the Bank at 13:05.

Rating: C-. I can’t remember the last time I felt such a relief, but there is no way that Corbin isn’t getting his title at some point. It’s clear that WWE sees the world in him for some reason and there doesn’t seem to be a way around it. At least we can have Rollins vs. Styles while it lasts though and that match should be awesome.

Post match Rollins comes out for the staredown. A handshake ends the show.

Overall Rating: D+. The ending helped, but this was a show where the matches don’t add up to the overall total. There was way too much Corbin, too many champions losing and that nonsense with Fox looking like she belonged in OVW. At the same time, there were things like Bray’s new character (WHAT WAS THAT?) and Cesaro getting a win, though the Corbin push continues to elude me, even if he lost here. Rollins vs. Styles should be more than enough to help for a long time though, even with Money in the Bank coming up.

Results

AJ Styles b. Samoa Joe and Rey Mysterio – Styles Clash to Mysterio onto Joe

Naomi b. Billie Kay – Sunset flip

Baron Corbin b. Drew McIntyre and the Miz – Claymore to Miz

Cesaro b. Cedric Alexander – Uppercut

Becky Lynch b. Alicia Fox – Disarm-Her

Robert Roode b. Ricochet – Glorious DDT

AJ Styles b. Baron Corbin – Phenomenal Forearm

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Or so it seems.

Now here’s one where I’m not sure because it’s not clear who’s going to be in the match. Mysterio is already injured and might not be able to make the match….and it just so happens that John Cena has been rumored for a match on the show, which has just so happened to have Cena vs. Samoa Joe for weeks. As much as I’d like to see Samoa Joe vs. Mysterio, I think you can tell where I’m going.

So yeah, I’m going with the theory that the injury is a work and Cena comes out to challenge Samoa Joe instead. I’ll go with the champ retaining in a surprise, which doesn’t feel right but would be a great way to push him. The problem with putting the title on Cena is that he’d have to lose it, and unless that takes place in the next two nights, I’m not sure I see that happening. Unless…..say to someone debuting on Monday Night Raw or SmackDown Live in a US Open Challenge? But what kind of a Freak would you have to be to do that?