ECW on TNN
Date: August 18, 2000
Location: ECW Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 1,400
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles

The big story continues to be the upcoming Tag Team Title tournament which is taking place a week from this show. You would think they could schedule it sooner but the belts have already been vacant for four months so it’s not like it really makes much of a difference at this point. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Joel and Joey are doing their thing when we cut to Rhino, who grabs Francine by the hair to show us her broken nose. Justin Credible gets in his face so Rhino says he’d be champion if he had the chance. Injuries are promised and we get no explanation for who hurt Francine, though it’s treated like something we’re supposed to know.

Jerry Lynn vs. Bilvis Wesley

Lynn is suddenly #1 contender. Actually hang on a second as the referee grabs the mic. Apparently he’s not happy with Lynn for running into him every single time he referees Jerry’s matches. There’s a bounty on Jerry so the referee might want to claim it. The referee gets dropped so here’s Rhino to Gore Jerry Lynn through a table and then leave. Jerry fights off Tom Marquez before the cradle piledriver knocks Bilvis silly. The original referee gets up though and calls a DQ for Jerry hitting him again.

The Prodigette tries to interfere and gets a piledriver of her own. I have no idea what the point of any of this was.

Tajiri vs. Psicosis

This is from Hardcore TV for reasons that aren’t entirely clear. They’re quickly on the mat with Tajiri putting on a Brock Lock but getting flipped into a cover for two. The match is clipped (Why is this happening?) to a fast sequence and a bunch of one counts. Another clip takes us to a sweet pinfall reversal sequence and a third takes us to Psicosis crashing out to the floor thanks to a missed dive.

Another clip means we see Psicosis diving over the top to take Tajiri out again. Clipped, yet again, to a baseball slide into Psicosis’ face as he’s caught in the Tree of Woe. Tajiri hits a Stunner for two and….well you know what happens by this point. Clipped again to a Psicosis getting two off a guillotine legdrop, setting up some kicks to give Tajiri the pin. WAY too much clipping here for it to be rated but what we saw was fun.

Tajiri is in Sinister Minister’s clothes as Minister talks about crossing a line. Mikey Whipwreck comes in with balloons on his hands and sounding like Chris Farley. This show makes my head hurt very badly. Thankfully Tajiri and the Minister are confused as well.

More Hardcore TV clips of Roadkill/Danny Doring/Tommy Dreamer vs. CW Anderson/Simon and Swinger. There’s more clipping here but less action as the match was cut off for a posedown, including Roadkill doing Hogan’s poses. A wild brawl broke out and the Buggy Bang puts Swinger away.

Justin Credible/Rhino vs. Kid Kash/Rob Van Dam

Apparently Francine’s nose was broken last night at a house show. Well that’s more of an explanation than I was expecting. Kash and Credible start things off and a headscissors sends the champ off to a tag to Rhino. That means it’s time for Kash’s first hurricanrana which staggers Rhino far more than it should. Rob gets the tag and fires off some kicks before Kash has to save him from a gorilla press.

Back to back dives to the floor take the villains out again and everyone is down. Justin gets in his one non-finishing move, the superkick, to take over on Kash before handing it off to Rhino to do the work. Kash finally moonsaults onto Justin to put them both down and slides over for the tag to Van Dam. That means it’s time for a chair as everything breaks down, only to have Rhino clean house again.

Van Dam kicks Rhino in the face and drops Kash into a legdrop for two. A low blow breaks up Justin’s superplex on Kash and sets up a HORRIBLY botched super hurricanrana as Justin is dropped onto his head. The Five Star gets no cover as Rob goes up again, only to get caned by Justin. The Moneymaker plants Justin and there goes the referee. Rhino piledrives Kash through a table and of course here’s Sandman because this feud just won’t end. Sandman canes Rhino a few times until Justin canes Sandman from behind. Now it’s Steve Corino coming in to superkick Rhino, setting up the Van Terminator for the pin.

Rating: D. So the big deal is that Van Dam finally pinned Rhino and it only took four people to do it. If this is the best thing ECW can come up with, then they’re in more trouble than I was thinking coming in. It’s also going to be even harder to care about Van Dam vs. Rhino on pay per view as we’ve seen it twice on free TV already but that doesn’t seem to matter to the company.

Overall Rating: D-. I’m really not sure what this show was supposed to be. We had a weird angle at the beginning, two clipped matches from another TV show and a long main event with an angle that doesn’t really mean much. We’ve got about six weeks before Anarchy Rulz and I’m really not sure what I’m supposed to be excited about. Jerry Lynn getting a World Title shot in his home state? That’s the best they’ve got? Is there any reason we’re not getting Rob Van Dam as World Champion already? Bad show this week as they’re getting more bizarre than better.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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ECW on TNN
Date: August 18, 2000
Location: War Memorial, Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

We’re coming up on the Tag Team Title tournament and it’s actually making for an interesting story. Almost everyone is involved in the tournament, setting up a bunch of mini feuds as we head into the big night. On top of that the Network seems to have split up, which means we’re ACTUALLY DOING SOMETHING. Let’s get to it.

We see Simon and Swinger helping CW Anderson beat Tommy Dreamer on Hardcore TV, setting up Danny Doring and Roadkill to make the save. The heels beat them down though and planted Jazz with a Problem Solver.

Rob Van Dam says he’s fighting Rhino tonight for the first time since he broke his ankle (no) and it’s time for a beating.

Opening sequence.

Lou E. Dangerously is in the ring with Cyrus as his guest. Cyrus rants about Steve Corino turning his back on the Network and here are Corino and Anton to interrupt. Corino doesn’t get to say anything as Cyrus says Corino was just an opening match comedy act and a mark for the business.

Then Corino got over with the people (I know ECW isn’t your normal wrestling promotion but I can’t stand it when that kind of lingo is used on TV.) and thought it was all because of the blood he’s shed. Corino swears a bit as Gertner talks about sperm. This sets up a match between Corino/Anton vs. Cyrus/Lou E. And never mind as Anton turns on Corino for a SWERVE that everyone could see coming because they’re not stupid.

FBI vs. Psicosis/Tajiri/Mikey Whipwreck

Tony and Mikey start things off and this is already starting to look like another wrestling show. It’s already off to Guido for an inverted Fujiwara armbar (Would that hurt?) as the heels (who seem to be popular) take over. The tag brings in Psicosis to face Big Sal, who is immediately taken down because he’s a big fat tub of goo.

Some kicks to the head knock him silly and a bunch of dives take down the Italians. Back in and some kicks to the head get two on Tony but he comes right back with a DDT. Guido scores with a clothesline but eats a Whippersnapper as this match is dying. Everything breaks down and Tajiri mists Psicosis by mistake. Guido hits a quick Kiss of Death for the pin on Tajiri.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t so much a bad match as much as it was really dull. I get that it’s designed to set up something later on but the FBI isn’t interesting as they’re no longer comedy instead of just kind of there. That’s a major problem around here: people who don’t have a purpose and are only around for the sake of being around.

ECW World Title: Justin Credible vs. Kid Kash

Justin is defending in a rematch from last week. Kash gets a quick two off a spinning sunset flip to send Justin outside for an early breather. That means a lot of swearing and censoring of something that probably isn’t worthy of swearing and censoring. Justin throws a chair at Kash who sits down in the middle of the ring. A double springboard hurricanrana sends Justin outside again, setting up a huge dive off the top. Standard Kid Kash so far.

Back in and a good looking superkick (That’s our Justin!) drops Kash. A chinlock doesn’t go anywhere so Joel asks if Joey is gay for not wanting to sleep with Francine. Kash DDT’s the champ on the chair for two and there’s the ref bump. Before I can say “get Rhino out here so Van Dam can make the save”, Rhino comes out for the beatdown on Kash and Van Dam makes the save.

That’s Incredible is broken up and Kash hits the Moneymaker but the referee is still down and likely in a coma at this point. There’s a Gore for Kash so here’s Rob for the second save, only to have Justin kick out at a very close two. Francine blasts Kash with the kendo stick and a super That’s Incredible retains the title.

Rating: D+. Who thought this needed a rematch? I’m really not a fan of either guy and all the overbooking didn’t help things. At least I can finally keep track of who wants to fight who and why they want to do it but that doesn’t mean the wrestling is anything worth seeing. The ending never being in doubt didn’t help either.

TV Title: Rhino vs. Rob Van Dam

Rhino is defending and jumps Van Dam during his long entrance. They’re quickly in the crowd with Rhino in control as Bill Alfonso won’t stop with the stupid whistle. The Gore against the barricade makes things even worse for Van Dam as this is one sided so far. They get inside for the first time with a wicked powerbomb planting Van Dam again for no cover.

Rob FINALLY scores with a stepover kick and both guys are down. Van Dam skateboards a chair into Rhino’s face and a middle rope moonsault gets two. The Van Daminator sets up the Five Star but here’s Justin to break up the cover and throw the match out because you knew this wasn’t going to end clean.

Rating: C-. Again, WHY IS THIS NOT ON PAY PER VIEW??? This should be a major showdown but instead of drawing money, we’ve seen it twice in a row for the sake of popping a rating (by ECW standards of course) and this is what we’re stuck with as a result. Oh and more Justin because we haven’t seen enough of him lately.

Kid Kash fails at a save attempt so Sandman makes the real one to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. I stand by my stance that Justin Credible is just crippling this show every single week. What in the world is supposed to be interesting about him? Someone taking the title off of him? That’s fine in theory, but don’t you need someone to be interesting before beating them matters? Justin continues to be the worst part of the show and unfortunately he’s also one of the focal points. No wonder I’m so sick of this show.

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ECW on TNN
Date: August 4, 2000
Location: Astro Arena Pavilion, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 2,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

We’re getting close to the end here with just ten episodes left in the series. Unfortunately things were picking up a little bit around this point as some of the stories FINALLY started moving forward. There are still about two months to go before Anarchy Rulz so we’re still weeks away from setting up the show’s card. Let’s get to it.

We open with the last thirty seconds of Rhino Goring Nova to retain the TV Title. Ok then.

Opening sequence.

After Joel talks about being with a stripper named Alexis in his Lexus here in Houston, Texas, here’s Cyrus to do the same thing these two always do. Cyrus brings up the attack at Heat Wave which was an assault because Cyrus isn’t a wrestler. Tonight though, he has a wrestling license and is ready to fight Gertner one on one. This brings out Spike Dudley in a suit jacket but Cyrus isn’t impressed. The announcers leave as Spike says Heyman isn’t here tonight because he’s busy in Los Angeles. Therefore, Spike is the booker tonight and he has an idea. Here’s our opening match.

Cyrus vs. Sandman

A single cane shot brings in Rhino and yeah this isn’t a match.

Justin Credible comes in and Tombstones Sandman, drawing Spike back in to take a beating of his own. Spike takes a piledriver off the apron and through a table, leaving Sandman to take a double beating. Chilly Willy comes out for the save and gives Cyrus a falcon arrow.

Little Guido vs. Mikey Whipwreck

They trade chops in the corner to start with Mikey hammering away in the corner before slamming Guido’s head onto the mat. Mikey has to avoid Sal to send him into the post before getting two off a superplex. Another distraction lets Tony Mamaluke come in for a double Russian legsweep from the middle rope for two on Mikey. At least he can competently cheat. Mikey’s running DDT changes momentum again and there’s the Whippersnapper, only to have Sal distract the referee. Mamaluke drops a top rope leg to break up the cover and chairs Mikey in the head. The Kiss of Death puts Mikey away.

Rating: C. Not the worst here as Mikey is still very underrated despite being a Triple Crown Champion. It’s nice to see them actually doing something with Mikey after all these vignettes but the FBI are only so interesting. At least they’re letting the talented one do the wrestling instead of Sal and his freak show “abilities.”

Post match the FBI goes after Mikey, only to have Tajiri of all people come out for the save.

Earlier tonight, Kid Kash gave Rob Van Dam something close to a sweat. As in as close as you can get with hurricanrana after hurricanrana with an occasional dive thrown in.

This episode is dedicated to Gordon Solie. Nothing wrong with that.

Tajiri vs. Steve Corino vs. Jerry Lynn

Corino is sent to the floor early and we get a very fast near fall sequence from Corino and Lynn. A Tarantula has Lynn in even more trouble until Corino makes the save. Tajiri is sent outside for some double teaming from Victory and Corino, only to have Lynn dive onto both of them for the huge crash. Back in and Corino takes the mist, only to have Lynn cradle piledrive Tajiri for the elimination. Thanks to Victory washing his eyes out, Corino does Dusty Rhodes’ Bionic Elbow dance and gets two off a sitout powerbomb.

Jerry starts the one on one portion with a belly to back before a few rollups get a few near falls each. Corino gets crotched on the top but Lou E. Dangerously (He manages Corino right?) slips in the phone so Steve can knock Lynn silly for two. Cue Scotty Anton to snap Jerry’s neck across the top rope so Corino can hit the Old School Expulsion (reverse Twist of Fate) for the pin.

Rating: C. Not the worst match in the world here as they let the wrestlers wrestle. That being said, I’m still not a fan of having the third man get eliminated in the first few minutes so they can do a singles match without doing a singles match. It doesn’t help that I’ve lost track of who is on who’s side in this huge stable war. You know, assuming ECW is considered a stable of course.

The beatdown is on but Tommy Dreamer comes out and we’ve got a main event.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Scotty Anton

Well kind of as Victory beats on Jazz in the ring as Dreamer and Anton fight in the crowd. The people actually in the match come back to ringside with Dreamer beating on Anton until Scotty sends him into a ladder. Why is there a ladder there? Not important of course. Dreamer is busted open but is still able to send Anton into the ladder in the corner.

A superplex off the ladder (which was laid over the middle rope so that didn’t add much) drops Anton and it’s time to bridge the ladder over two chairs. Naturally it’s Dreamer being suplexed onto the ladder, which is horribly bent. The Clapper goes on so Jazz chairs Anton in the head. Dreamer drops an elbow onto a chair onto Anton’s face for the pin.

Rating: D+. Remember all those times I’ve told you that Scotty Anton isn’t very good and has no business being on these shows? That’s still the case, as this really wasn’t much to see. Dreamer doing tremendous harm to his body is entertaining enough but how many times can I see it before it loses its interest?

Cyrus makes Rhino/Justin Credible vs. Sandman/Chilly Willy for the first round of the Tag Team Title tournament. Justin says no way but Rhino promises to make him do it. Francine drags him away and Rhino rants a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Some stuff happened, the wrestling wasn’t great, the angles didn’t really change and we have a single match announced for next week. In other words, it’s your run of the mill ECW on TNN and that’s not the most interesting show in the world. This could have been much worse but the same problems are still here: nothing happens. When is the last time you remember something interesting happening on this show? I can’t remember it and that’s a big reason why this show didn’t last long.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Smackdown
Date: August 30, 2016
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga

Much like last night, this show has a lot of potential to be something big but instead of one big match, this show is built around a few individual issues. First and foremost, we’ll see the fallout from Miz’s awesome shoot promo on Daniel Bryan, which some people didn’t expect to see referenced on TV. There’s also more of the Tag Team Title tournament and Dean Ambrose vs. Baron Corbin. Let’s get to it.

We open with the full Miz vs. Daniel Bryan interview from last week’s Talking Smack with Bryan calling Miz soft but Miz saying his style means he doesn’t get injured and leave for six months to a year at a time. Bryan walked off and Miz went on a tirade about how the Intercontinental Title is the most important one on Smackdown because he’s the one out there every night. This was GREAT and more emotion than Miz has ever shown, which makes me think his days as champion are numbered.

Shane tells Bryan that he can’t do that to the talent and Bryan agrees. However, Bryan finds this ironic coming from the person having issues with Brock Lesnar.

Opening sequence.

Here’s a ticked off Miz with something to say. Miz doesn’t want to hear any booing because it’s taken 148 days (the length of his title reign) to get the fans’ attention. He’s bringing prestige back to this title but people think he’s soft. Yeah he wrestles a different style but it’s because he’s smart enough to see the big picture.

What the fans don’t understand is what goes on backstage. Who do you think they call when they need someone to do a red carpet premiere or a commercial or main event Wrestlemania and then dress up as a chicken? Miz didn’t spend the first twelve years of his career wrestling in front of 50 people and people booing him for that makes them cowards. Cue Dolph Ziggler and I’m done. This was getting really interesting and it’s about Dolph “RESPECT ME WHEN I’M SERIOUS AND THEN LOSE EVERY BIG MATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN” Ziggler all over again.

Dolph says no one is going to buy what Miz says because he’s never proven a thing. If Miz wants to show how tough he is, fight right now with no referees or titles on the line. Just the two of them right now. As expected, Miz teases fighting but walks off. Ziggler says Bryan was right and calls him a soft, safe coward but that’s not enough to get him to fight either.

I actually felt the air go out of me when Ziggler came out. This story had the potential to actually be something fresh but instead it’s the same old Ziggler that we’ve seen for months and have no reason to believe it’s going to be anything different this time around. Ziggler is just a played out character and I wanted something fresh this time from Miz. Instead it’s another Battle of Cleveland because that’s what WWE thinks new and different means.

Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Hype Bros vs. Vaudevillains

The villains takes over to start and send Ryder outside for a neckbreaker on the floor. The double teaming only lasts for a few moments before the tag brings in Rawley for his splashes. A running fist in the corner sets up the Hype Ryder to pin English at 2:53. This was exactly the kind of energetic match these two needed, even though they’re likely losing in the next round.

To my shock, JBL seems to love the Hype Ryders. You would expect him to hate a team like this.

Post match the Hype Bros say they’re hyped enough to win the titles.

We finally see the tournament brackets and the Usos vs. American Alpha is actually a semifinal match. That makes things a lot more interesting.

AJ Styles runs into Apollo Crews and introduces himself as the face who runs this place.

Here’s AJ Styles for a chat. AJ, in the Cena headband, says he’s already beaten up John Cena and now he’s going to win the World Title. This brings out Apollo Crews to say Daniel Bryan has granted him a match against AJ right now. I love the fact that they just got to the point here. It was clear we were getting this match the second they ran into each other so there’s no reason to waste time setting it up.

AJ Styles vs. Apollo Crews

Crews leapfrogs AJ to start and sends it outside but Crews stops to brag about a right hand. Back with AJ holding a chinlock because that’s how you come back from breaks in WWE. Crews sends him into the corner and backdrops AJ outside for a moonsault from the apron. Back in and AJ’s high cross body is countered into a Samoan drop (that’s kind of insane) for another near fall. Not that it matters as AJ stuns him across the ropes and the Phenomenal Forearm puts Crews away at 8:15.

Rating: C+. Crews is still fun to watch but he loses a lot more often than not and really doesn’t have a character to speak of. Really all I know about him is that he’s an athletic freak and that’s not exactly enough to carry you far. It only worked so well for Shelton Benjamin and Crews isn’t that far along yet.

Earlier this week, Renee Young went to Heath Slater’s trailer and met his wife for some redneck humor. As Rhino eats cheese whiz and crackers, Slater calls not being drafted an oversight. More redneck jokes ensue and Slater talks about how he’s earned a contract several times now. When they win the titles, it’s time to upgrade to a double wide. There’s talk of the kids (outside picking up bottles and cans) but a car screeching sends the Slaters outside. Rhino just keeps calmly eating crackers. I get what they were going for here but this just isn’t my kind of humor.

Here’s Bray Wyatt with a message for Randy Orton. Bray isn’t scared of snakes or monsters because he doesn’t see Orton as anything more than a man. If Orton really hears voices, Bray hopes they’re telling him to run but here’s Randy in person. Randy says that a bunch of staples in his head aren’t going to change anything because being damaged is what he does. Bray calls himself the new predator and promises to cut the serpent’s head off at Backlash. Orton talks about Bray seeing the scars on his body but needing to worry about the scars inside. He agrees to the match and goes inside but Bray vanishes.

Natalya/Alexa Bliss vs. Becky Lynch/Naomi

Nikki Bella is on commentary to do a commercial for Total Bellas. Naomi hurricanranas Natalya to the floor and we take an early break. Back with Naomi in trouble until a jawbreaker allows the tag off to Becky. House is cleaned and everything breaks down as Carmella comes out to brawl with Nikki. In the melee, Bliss rolls Becky up and grabs the trunks for the pin at 7:21.

Rating: D+. This division really needs some promo time. I know all of their basic characters (or what they have for characters) but I really don’t know much about most of them. Almost all of them need a chance to give us a reason to care, even if it’s just a quick promo during their entrances.

Video on the Headbangers. For the life of me I don’t get why they were picked to come back. It’s like when Greg Valentine would show up on Nitro for a one off match.

Video on Curt Hawkins.

Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Headbangers vs. Rhino/Heath Slater

Mosh and Thrasher look exactly the same as they did in 1999. Slater gets beaten down to start and the springboard clothesline puts him on the floor. Some stomping sets up a chinlock as Otunga calls the Headbangers the last two Marilyn Manson fans. The Stage Dive (powerbomb/guillotine legdrop combo) gets two as Rhino makes the save. Rhino (with what looks like some blood on the left side of his face) drags Slater over for the tag and the Gore ends Mosh at 2:53. It might be time for Thrasher to go back to training wrestlers like he did with Big Show.

A guy in a suit named Derrick Milliman has been granted a match tonight and issues an open challenge. Kane comes out for a chokeslam and leaves. Were they just running short on time or something? As Kane leaves, Baron Corbin comes out for the main event. Maybe that’s what they’re trying to set up?

Baron Corbin vs. Dean Ambrose

Non-title and AJ is on commentary. Ambrose knocks Baron to the floor to start and hits a running clothesline from the apron. Back in and Dean’s bulldog is broken up and Baron pounds away with right hands. We come back from a break with Corbin holding a chinlock and getting two off a choke legsweep. Dean fights up and gets two off his clothesline before hitting the suicide dive on the floor. Back in and the Deep Six plants Dean but AJ gets in Baron’s face and tells him to stay on it. Dean knocks Baron into Styles so AJ kicks Baron in the face for the DQ at 12:12.

Rating: C. Odd ending aside, this was a nice showcase for Corbin and it’s a good sign to not have him get pinned here. It would be nice if they gave Corbin something to do other than torture Kalisto (Did that go anywhere yet?). It’s not like they’re overflowing with options at the moment and building up a big man isn’t going to hurt anything.

Post match the main eventers fight until Dean hits Corbin with Dirty Deeds. AJ gets crotched and Dean seems to sympathize before bouncing the ropes up and down. Dean takes his belt and leaves AJ sitting on the top rope to end the show. I really don’t like having AJ look silly like that, especially after he did something good earlier tonight.

Overall Rating: B-. This felt like an older episode of Smackdown but thankfully it was one where they actually got some stuff done. Nothing major was set up (save for making Bray vs. Orton official) but they did a good job of advancing a few angles and building towards the matches later on. That’s the kind of show they needed with less than two weeks before Backlash, but I’m still not sold on this being a full on three hour pay per view.

Results

Hype Bros b. Vaudevillains – Hype Ryder to English

AJ Styles b. Apollo Crews – Phenomenal Forearm

Alexa Bliss/Natalya b. Naomi/Becky Lynch – Rollup with a handful of trunks

Rhino/Heath Slater b. Headbangers – Gore to Mosh

Baron Corbin b. Dean Ambrose via DQ when AJ Styles interfered

Heat Wave 2000
Date: July 16, 2000
Location: Grand Olympic Auditorium, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 5,700
Commentators: Joey Styles, Cyrus

ECW is in trouble at this point and Justin Credible isn’t making things any easier. He’s been champion for three months now and he’s really not that interesting. With Storm out of the way, the match with Dreamer is the next logical step for him as he basically stole the belt from Tommy, but that still doesn’t make him interesting on top of the company, especially with Van Dam sitting there in a meaningless match against Anton. Let’s get to it.

We open with Jasmin St. Claire on the beach in a very small swimsuit with the Blue Boy (formerly the Blue Meanie but now about 100lbs lighter) talking about how fat people are. They run into a guy in good shape who Blue Boy calls fat. A fight nearly breaks out but Jasmin hits him low.

They make out on the beach but we pan over to Sinister Minister. Apparently Blue Boy sold his soul to be thin and have Jasmin. The Minister talks about how we’re in Los Angeles where things happen when it gets hot. He references a lot of WWF pay per views before talking about the main event. We pan over again to see Mikey Whipwreck buried up to his neck in sane. Minister laughs a lot and we go to the arena.

Joel and Joey are in the ring to open things up. The ramp is gone again. Styles is glad to be on the west coast, though it was ECW’s lone appearance here. Joel’s rhyme is especially filthy this time so here’s Cyrus to cut him off. Gertner gets on the apron but comes back inside as Cyrus is asking the people if they know who he is. He brags about deporting Super Crazy (he’ll be back) and taking the TV Title from Tajiri. Cyrus used the ECW on TNN budget to promote Rollerjam (a roller derby show) and stripped Rob Van Dam of the TV Title. Joel cuts him off and says he doesn’t want to be on TNN.

Cyrus says he’s canceled ECW and threatens to turn out Gertner’s lights. He says Joel delivers the fat gay demographic so Gertner makes gay jokes about Cyrus. They argue some more with Joel saying he helps Cyrus but Cyrus counters by saying Joel never paid a due in wrestling. Joey says he has an IQ over 140 and went to an Ivy League college so he doesn’t need to put up with Cyrus. It’s been a pleasure working with Joey, but Joel is done. Cyrus gloats but Gertner sneaks up on him and gets in a few good shots before security drags him away.

Big Sal comes in and beats up some security and referees before his match.

Balls Mahoney vs. Big Sal E. Graziano

Balls has to beat up the newest member of the FBI Tony Mamaluke but gets decked by Sal. Mahoney hammers away and kicks Sal low before nailing him with a chair. Sal won’t go down and chokeslams Balls, followed by a belly to belly suplex for the pin.

Rob Van Dam has something new tonight: the Van Terminator. He’s teased that move for a few weeks now but no one knows what it is.

We see Bobby Eaton (a very talented wrestler from the 1980s who was still better than most of ECW’s roster at this point) appearing at the ECW Arena to go after C.W. Anderson for disrespecting the Anderson Family.

Simon Diamond/Swinger/C.W. Anderon vs. Roadkill/Danny Doring/Kid Kash

Diamond has dropped most of his entourage and is part of a tag team with Swinger (a muscular guy with long hair and that’s about the extent of things that differentiates him from others). Anderson is on his own now as well and recently broke Kash’s four month undefeated streak. The other four guys are decent teams but the Tag Team Titles remain vacant.

Simon and Kash get things going with a technical sequence and the fans already declare it boring. Kash nails a hard chop in the corner before they kick each other away to give us a standoff. Anderson comes in but is quickly taken down and nailed with a middle rope elbow drop. Doring and Roadkill crush Swinger and Diamond in the corner before clearing the ring. Kash nails a slingshot hurricanrana over the top to the floor to take Anderson down.

Back in and Kash hits a springboard clothesline to Anderson before another hurricanrana sends Simon back to the floor. The numbers finally catch up to Kash and Swinger takes over. Anderson comes in but charges into an elbow in the corner, followed by a moonsault press to put him down. It’s off to Doring vs. Swinger with Danny cleaning house with jawbreakers.

Simon comes back with a cobra clutch legsweep to drop Doring before Diamond plants him for two. Anderson blasts him in the jaw with the left hand but Doring slams him face first into the mat. The fans are going NUTS for Roadkill here and they get exactly what they want. Roadkill comes in and cleans house, sending all three villains to the floor for a big dive from Doring.

Kash hits an even bigger one but Roadkill tops them all by taking out all five guys. Back in and Roadkill gets crotched on the top, allowing Simon and Swinger to double team Doring with a backbreaker/reverse DDT combination. The Anderson spinebuster plants Kash for two but Roadkill breaks it up with a legdrop to the back of the head. Kash breaks up the Problem Solver (double team elevated DDT) to Doring, who nails the double arm DDT on Diamond. The Money Maker (double underhook piledriver) gives Kash the pin over Swinger.

Rating: B-. Nice six man tag here but the booking is a little confusing. If Simon and Swinger is supposed to be the new big team, why would you have them lose here? It’s a shame that the tag team division is starting to pick up some steam, just as there are no belts for anyone to win.

Rhino likes putting Sandman’s wife in the hospital and Sandman’s kids watching her.

Jerry Lynn vs. Steve Corino

Corino is still Network and has Victory with him. Lynn chops away in the corner to start and scores with a middle rope bulldog. A clothesline sends Steve to the floor and Lynn’s big dive takes both of them out. Back in and Jerry is sent to the apron but he sends Steve down onto the floor to take over again. A tornado DDT onto the floor has Corino busted open already. Jerry gouges at the cut and hammers away back inside.

Corino gets punched in the corner but he’s still able to come out with an atomic drop. The blond hair is already half covered in blood. Some left hands and the Bionic Elbow put Lynn down for two and a powerslam gets the same. They head back to the floor with Corino making sexual remarks about some fans’ mothers before whipping Lynn into the barricade.

Back in and a t-bone suplex stops Lynn’s offense for two. Victory throws in a chair but Jerry dropkicks it into Corino’s face to put both guys down. Lynn hammers away and the blood is just flowing from Corino’s head. Another chair is brought in and Lynn DDTs Corino off the top rope onto the steel for two. Jerry is all ticked off and rubs Steve’s blood on his own face before writing DIE on his stomach. Corino comes back with a superkick for two but goes up, only to get taken down in an awkward looking attempt at a reverse DDT. It was closer to a Russian legsweep than anything else and gives Jerry a two count.

Corino hits the Old School Expulsion (a reverse Twist of Fate) for two of his own but Victory tries to bring in some powder. The referee gets blinded instead so there’s no one to count. Corino takes his boot off and lays Jerry out again but there’s no referee. Victory hits Lynn in the head with the cowbell for two and Jack is stunned. They trade rollups for two each until Lynn counters a backslide into a cradle piledriver for the pin.

Rating: B-. This was a solid brawl but as usual, I don’t get the booking. If you want Corino to look like a big deal, why have him lose? Jerry winning makes sense, but you would think there’s a better opponent for him. I say you would think that, because the roster is so thin at this point that there really isn’t anyone else for him to face. More great blood from Corino though.

We see almost half of Sandman vs. Rhino from Hardcore Heaven. This is more pay per view filler which they really shouldn’t need at this point.

Sandman, with Lori next to him, rants about what Rhino did and making him go see her in the hospital every day. Rhino sneaks in and nails Sandman in the head with a Singapore cane before taking Lori to a toilet to try to drown her. Sandman gets up for the save as security drags them off.

Dawn Marie comes out to do commentary for no apparent reason.

Here’s New Jack with a broken leg, only to get jumped by Da Baldies (Angel and DeVito, the only two left). Nova and Chris Chetti run in for the save and we have a tag match.

Da Baldies vs. Chris Chetti/Nova

Nova is dressed as the Flash now and Chetti has bleach blond hair. Angel gets beaten up to start and Da Baldies are quickly knocked to the floor. Chetti and Nova both hit big dives to take out a Baldie each before Chetti tries to fight them both off on his own. Angel hits a nice jawbreaker to put Chris down but Nova misses a Swanton Bomb. DeVito hits a sitout Rock Bottom but misses a moonsault instead of covering. Nova pops back up and hits rolling piledrivers into a helicopter bomb for two on DeVito, followed by the Amityville Horror and the Tidal Wave gets the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match here with Da Baldies basically getting squashed. Nova and Chetti really need something to do at this point as they’re bored beating all these teams. If only there were some belts for them to win or something like that. They’re barely breaking a sweat with these matches anymore and there’s nothing for them to win. It’s a big waste of a good act.

Tommy Dreamer talks about working at a pizzeria but never making enough money. Then he got into the wrestling business looking for the big payoff. He’s lost money, friends and jobs because of this and he wouldn’t change a thing. Francine and Justin Credible are all that stand in his way of the big payoff tonight and he wants to do things the hard way.

Dreamer nearly has a breakdown in front of the camera, ranting about how tired he is of being on a network that doesn’t respect them and everyone taking away what they created. He bangs his head into a locker and pulls at the cut….as we hear the ring announcer saying this is a three way dance because the production values aren’t very high.

Psicosis vs. Little Guido vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri

Psicosis is a former ECW and WCW wrestler, making his return after about five years away. During the entrances, Mikey Whipwreck and the Sinister Minister hit the ring and we’re making it a four way.

Psicosis vs. Little Guido vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. Mikey Whipwreck

Mikey, in a suit jacket, plants Psicosis to start and Tajiri kicks him to the floor. Whipwreck nails a quick Whippersnapper on Guido and throws him outside, setting up a huge dive. Tony Mamaluke (the other FBI member) comes in but gets dropped by Mikey. That’s the end of Mikey’s early success though as he dives on Big Sal, only to get rammed into the post. Back inside and Psicosis drops a guillotine legdrop on Mikey for the elimination less than two minutes in. Why in the world was he even added? If nothing else, it’s one more paycheck Heyman had to hand out.

Psicosis kicks Tajiri in the leg but gets armdragged down. A standing hurricanrana drops him as well as Guido is nowhere in sight. Tajiri gets his throat snapped across the top rope before Guido returns to fight Psicosis in the aisle. That’s fine with Tajiri who takes them both out with an Asai Moonsault. A hard kick to the head stuns Guido and a superplex plants him. Psicosis adds a moonsault legdrop for two before walking into the Kiss of Death (Tomikaze). Tajiri kicks Guido in the head and hits a German suplex on Psicosis for the elimination.

We’re down to Tajiri vs. Guido with the latter getting chopped in the corner. Tajiri tries to take him down in a powerbomb style pin but Guido keeps bridging up in a nice series of counters. The Tarantula has some more success for Tajiri and the fans are way behind him. The handspring elbow drops Guido again and it’s chair time.

Tajiri puts him in the Tree of Woe and baseball slides the chair into Guido’s face. Back up and Guido kicks the chair into Tajiri’s face and hits a bad looking middle rope Fameasser to send Tajiri outside. The fans inquire about their pizza before they slug it out in the corner. They chop it out until Tajiri blows the green mist in his eyes and hits a brainbuster for the pin.

Rating: D+. Well that happened. I’m not sure what else you want me to say about it. We’ve seen almost this same match about seven or eight times now and whoever wins is only going to be elevated for a little while before being dropped back down the card in favor of Sandman getting title matches despite giving wrestling a bad name every time he has one of his disasters. The match was decent enough but it’s not going to mean anything.

Justin Credible says tonight, ECW introduces barbed wire to pay per view. It’s going to be hanging above the ring in the Stairway to Hell match. Ignore the fact that there was barbed wire at Barely Legal.

TV Title: Sandman vs. Rhino

Sandman, the challenger, takes another five minutes to get to the ring. They jaw at each other to start until Sandman literally breaks the cane over Rhino’s head. The champion doesn’t go down and nails Sandman with a clothesline to take over. Sandman comes back with left hands and the fight is already on the floor. We get a piece of barricade thrown into the ring and Sandman throws the monster into the steel.

A top rope hurricanrana puts Rhino onto the barricade for two and Sandman follows it up with a powerslam. The barricade is laid on top of Rhino again and a Swanton Bomb gets two. Now Rhino is sent into the barricade in the corner and the steel is bent in half, drawing out the Network to beat up Sandman.

Spike Dudley returns on a broken leg (injured by Rhino) and Corino takes a 3D with Spike playing Bubba. Rhino Gores Spike down and piledrives him off the apron and through a table. Back in and Sandman blasts Rhino in the head with another Singapore cane but Rhino breaks up his Russian legsweep by sending him into the bent barricade. A piledriver on the barricade is enough to retain Rhino’s title.

Rating: D. This was the best match of their series but only because they kept it contained. It’s still barely wrestling and Rhino deserves far better than this, but that’s Sandman dragging down a match for you. He’s far better when he keeps things simple and away from ladders, and that’s why this worked better.

We go back to the commentary booth where we’re reminded Dawn Marie is still there. She hasn’t been heard in nearly an hour. Joey gets in another argument with Cyrus.

Rob Van Dam vs. Scotty Anton

Anton is Network and has a gimmick of clapping over his head. His finishing move: the Clapper (Sharpshooter). Even his song is about giving people the Clap. A quick kick to the face drops Anton and a quick Rolling Thunder gets two. Anton bails to the floor but Rob follows him out and nails a moonsault off the barricade. The spinning kick from the apron drives a chair into Anton’s back before taking him back inside for a delayed gorilla press.

A middle rope moonsault gets two for Rob as this has been one sided so far. Van Dam goes up for a Van Daminator but Anton takes the chair away and pelts it at Rob’s head to take over. Another chair shot has Rob in trouble and Anton bulldogs him off the apron and throat first onto the barricade. Back in and Rob gets tied in the Tree of Woe before he gets planted with a belly to back superplex for two. Scotty takes him down and makes Van Dam do the Clap, only to tick Rob off again.

They head outside again with Anton sending him face first into the barricade. Back to the Tree of Woe but Rob gets his foot free for a very weak kick to send a chair into Scotty’s face. Alfonso’s chair is intercepted but Rob kicks Anton in the face to put both guys down. The chair is skateboarded into Scotty’s face for two and the split legged moonsault gets the same. Alfonso puts the chair onto Anton for Rolling Thunder but Anton gets in a chair shot to the knee.

The Clapper (and a bad one) goes on but Scotty lets go and puts the hold on Alfonso. One of the most telegraphed Van Daminators yet makes the save and there’s the Five Star but Rob doesn’t cover. Instead Scotty crawls into the corner as the fans chant Terminator. Rob climbs the ropes as Alfonso puts a chair in Anton’s face. Van Dam gets a huge springboard and dropkicks the chair into Scotty’s face for the pin. So the big move was basically a springboard Van Daminator.

Rating: D+. This match’s problem can be boiled down to one idea: Scotty Anton is not very good. Back in WCW he never could do anything beyond basic moves and that’s still the case here. It’s nothing special to see and the match was really dull as a result. This was yet another waste of Van Dam, though he’s still the most over guy in the company.

We recap Justin Credible vs. Tommy Dreamer, which is fallout from Cyberslam where Credible took the title from Dreamer twenty minutes after Tommy won it, as well as Hardcore Heaven where Dreamer had to give up his chance to prevent Credible from throwing the belt in the trash.

ECW World Title: Tommy Dreamer vs. Justin Credible

This is Stairway to Hell with barbed wire over the ring and ladders used to climb it, though you win by pinfall. Dreamer brings out Jazz to equalize Francine, but then brings out George, a former valet in WCW where she was known as Gorgeous George. An interesting note from just after the match starts is a group of XPW wrestlers (a local hardcore promotion) sitting at ringside causes a big commotion and allegedly touch Francine, though she would say there was no contact at all. Security and some of the locker room come get rid of them.

After about two minutes of waiting for things to calm down, we’re ready to go. They start with a technical sequence and Joey’s reaction is great: “A wrestling match has broken out!” Justin superkicks Dreamer in the face to take over as we’re just waiting on the weapons to come in. They’re quickly outside with Dreamer hitting Credible with a beer.

Alleged brawling takes place in the crowd but thankfully they stop walking around and get back to ringside. Never mind as they head back into the crowd with Justin already busted open. Dreamer brings out a ladder up near the announcers’ area but gets shoved off the ladder and down near the merchandise stand. Back to ringside with Dreamer getting in a shot to take over and putting the ladder on the corner in the ring. Dreamer gets whipped face first into the end of the ladder as Joey and Cyrus argue again.

Justin replaces the ladder with an open chair on the corner but puts the ladder over the bottom rope. Tommy catapults him hands first into the ladder (the camera shot ruined the spot) and goes up the ladder, onto to have Francine hit him low for the save. Dreamer falls but lands on Francine in a big crash, drawing in Jazz and George.

To the shock of no one with a brain, George turns on Jazz and helps Francine up. Francine misses a Bronco Buster to George and gets beaten up by Jazz, including ripping off her top to reveal tape. Jazz takes That’s Incredible but Dreamer hits the Tommyhawk (a reverse Outsider’s Edge but Dreamer pulls him down into a cutter) for two.

Dreamer climbs the ladder to bring down the barbed wire which he wraps around the top rope. Justin goes up top but gets crotched on the wire, only to be fine five seconds later as he pulls Tommy into That’s Incredible on the wire for two. Tommy hits a DDT onto the wire but Justin hits another That’s Incredible on the barbed wire to retain.

Rating: D. The ending was so obvious that it made the rest of the match feel like a bit waste of time. Justin gets to keep the belt for another few months and this match doesn’t take away any of the criticisms about him. He doesn’t come off as interesting or skilled, but rather a two move guy with a very generic cocky heel character to him. The barbed wire only came into play for the last minute and a half, making the rest of the match just a regular dull ECW brawl that we’ve seen about a dozen times before. Dreamer felt like he was a lame duck challenger coming in and that’s exactly what he came off looking like in the match.

Justin celebrates and Cyrus is thrilled to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This company is very quickly reaching a point where nothing seems to matter. It felt like I’ve seen these same matches on previous shows and this was just a big mixture of whatever ideas they’ve run with before. Rob Van Dam continued to be the most wasted piece of talent you’ll find in this era as he’s having a nearly twenty minute match with career dead weight Scotty Anton while Rhino beats up Sandman for what feels like six months and the midcard guys are still midcard guys because so few people get elevated in this company.

Why should a fan get behind most of the people in this company? Guys like Tajiri and Roadkill get some of the biggest reactions of the night but are stuck in the same three ways or meaningless tag matches (because who needs tag belts right?) for months on end with no way out in sight. It’s so frustrating to watch guys with talent working very hard to get over but getting stuck because the booking isn’t thought out or creative. The show tried, but it’s running around in circles.

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ECW on TNN
Date: July 14, 2000
Location: ECW Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

It’s the go home show for Heat Wave and it can’t get here soon enough. I’m not sure what to expect when ECW wants to put on a go home show but they’re on a bit of a roll with advancing stories. Unfortunately there’s only so much advancement you can have here, though a few matches to Sunday’s card might help as I can only think of three matches at the moment. Let’s get to it.

Joey and Joel do their thing and Joel actually gets through his very dirty tennis rhyme. Instead of Cyrus for a change, here’s Raven to interrupt. So the rumors are that Raven is leaving so we hit the PLEASE DON’T GO chants. He thanks the fans and hugs the announcers, only to have Cyrus and Scotty Anton (of course) cut him off.

It’s a full THANK YOU RAVEN chant now but Cyrus says none of that matters to the network. He doesn’t care about Raven’s revolutionary gimmick either because Raven stole it from the Jackyl. Raven asks if this is going anywhere because he wanted to say goodbye and leave. Cyrus says Raven is going to have to bend over for the network, just like Paul Heyman. And now a match!

Raven vs. Scotty Anton

Anton takes a quick Even Flow but Rhino saves Cyrus from the same treatment. Raven gets driven through a table but Sandman (with one heck of a tan) comes in with the cane. Lori Fullington (Sandman’s wife) comes in and jumps on Cyrus’ back until security breaks it up. During the melee, Anton has Raven in the Clapper on the floor.

Rob Van Dam promises to debut the Van Terminator.

We go to the bathroom (of course) where Gary Wolfe says he’s back. Blue Meanie, now skinny and with adult star Jasmine St. Clair, comes out of a stall. Apparently his name is now the Blue Boy and he makes a bunch of fat jokes about Wolfe. Gary doesn’t take kindly to this but gets beaten down anyway. By the former Blue Meanie.

Tajiri vs. Mikey Whipwreck

Circling to start until Tajiri just blasts him with a superkick. Another kick sends Mikey off the apron for a crash into the barricade but Tajiri doesn’t know how to use a ring wrench. Instead Mikey takes over with a slingshot legdrop, only to get kicked in the face again. An inverted tornado DDT sets up an Octopus to make Mikey tap.

Rating: C. They kept this moving but I’m not sure what the point is in squashing Mike, who is doing stuff backstage to set up his new character. Tajiri can beat up anyone else to set up this big heel push but at least it was a good match with Mikey being able to work well with anyone. Tajiri wasn’t really a heel here though and that makes the turn a bit questionable so far.

Francine teases flashing us but it turns into Justin Credible talking about Sunday’s match against Tommy Dreamer.

Here are Simon and Swinger and their wacky band of misfits (great examples of people who could be let go to cut some costs) with something to say. They’re sick and tired of being a comedy act but here’s CW Anderson to get in Simon’s face. Anderson cleans house and even punches the Prodigette in the face. The Problem Solver lays out the Prodigy as the misfits seem to be gone as Anderson has joined Simon and Swinger.

CW issues an open challenge for a tag match, quick is quickly answered by Danny Doring and Roadkill. The numbers game gets the better of them but…..my goodness Bobby Eaton of all people comes out for the real save. Eaton is eventually superkicked down and the new alliance stands tall.

We run down the top of Sunday’s card.

Anderson, Swinger and Simon make jokes about Doring and Roadkill. A six man is announced with Doring and Roadkill plus Kid Kash fighting the trio.

Steve Corino/??? vs. Jerry Lynn/???

Another dream partner tag match with Corino picking Rhino and Lynn picking….well we’ll get to that in a second as Lynn gets Gored before anyone can come out. Jerry reaches over to the towel he brought in and pulls out a beer. Well that’s good for Jerry as he just happened to pick the guy Corino’s mystery partner was feuding with.

Sandman hits the ring and immediately eats a superkick from Corino. Well so much for that one. Everything heads outside with Lynn diving onto Corino despite there being almost no space between the ring and the barricade. Rhino and Sandman fight in the ring as Jerry blasts Corino in the head with a chair. All four get back inside for more brawling as they might as well have just had this be a brawl. I don’t know why they refer to this as a tag match as I don’t remember the last time there were actual tags in an ECW match.

Rhino piledrives Lynn for two, followed by a White Russian legsweep to give Sandman the same. Cyrus comes in to break up the cradle piledriver and Corino elbows Lynn through a table at ringside. This brings in Little Spike Dudley to play Bubba in a 3D to give Sandman the pin on Rhino.

Rating: D. Yeah whatever. I know this is the ECW standard but that doesn’t mean it holds up or is anything that I’d want to see again. The ending does help set up Sunday’s title match and I guess helps with Lynn vs. Corino but there was no better way than having this mess? I’m just not a fan of these things and they really show how horrible Sandman is at “wrestling”.

A long pay per view ad takes us out.

Overall Rating: D+. This was another example of ECW being all over the place with a few matches being added to Sunday’s show. That helps a few things but doesn’t make this the best use of less than forty one minutes I’ve ever seen. Heat Wave really needs to change some things up for the sake of keeping the show fresh, but I have a feeling we won’t exactly be seeing that on Sunday.

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ECW on TNN
Date: July 7, 2000
Location: The Odeum, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 3,500
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles

For once ECW actually has built up a big match for this show as Sandman is challenging Justin Credible for the ECW World Title. We’re also nine days away from Heat Wave, meaning it’s almost time to start something fresh, assuming that’s actually done in this promotion anymore. Let’s get to it.

We open with a look at the matches taped for Hardcore TV before this show went on the air.

Gorgeous George (just George here in ECW) is in the ring to start but Francine runs out and blasts her with a cane. See, it’s her house and she’s the Queen of Extreme and all that jazz. Not Jazz but jazz.

Opening sequence.

Joel and Joey are in the ring and IT’S CYRUS COMING OUT TO YELL AT JOEL AGAIN! Cyrus does his thing so Joel brings out Spike Dudley (remember he used to manage the Dudleys) despite Spike’s knee being horrible at the moment. Spike blames Cyrus for deporting Super Crazy, stripping Rob Van Dam of the TV Title (I’m sure Van Dam could have fought on a destroyed leg/ankle) and having Rhino break Spike’s leg. Cue Rhino to prevent Cyrus’ death and here’s Pitbull Gary Wolfe to fight for Spike.

TV Title: Gary Wolfe vs. Rhino

I’m assuming this is a title match but Wolfe spends too much time setting up a table in the corner, allowing Rhino to hit the Gore. A piledriver through the table retains Rhino’s title. I actually like them making this a match instead of just a quick beatdown. It’s not like it hurts anything.

Raven is upset and Styles is shocked that he’s here. He works here Joey.

Recap of Tajiri vs. Jerry Lynn, the latter of whom may or may not be part of the Network.

Tajiri vs. Jerry Lynn

Lynn baseball slides him into the barricade and they’re brawling in a hurry. Back in and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Tajiri down and sends us to a break. We come back with Tajiri grabbing a hammerlock with his leg wrapped around Lynn’s neck. Cue Cyrus dressed as Jerry’s trainer (because reasons) as Lynn comes back with a great looking German suplex.

A tornado DDT gets two on Tajiri and a superplex makes things even worse. As you might expect, Tajiri comes back with a kick (a missile dropkick in this case) but Jerry sends him outside. Jerry claims an elbow injury so Tajiri puts him in an octopus hold. A little mist gets rid of Cyrus but Tajiri puts him in the Tarantula just in case. Cue Steve Corino to kick Lynn in the face, allowing Tajiri to kick him in the face for the pin.

Rating: C+. The ending was pretty badly telegraphed as everyone was so sure that it was going to be Lynn and then DUN DUN DUN, it’s actually Tajiri. I’ve heard worse ideas but they didn’t do the best job of hiding this. At least the match was hard hitting and entertaining though and that’s an improvement.

Justin and Francine are in the back and Credible is drooling over his belt. Sandman won’t take it from him tonight.

We see a clip of Simon and Swinger beating down the new Dangerous Alliance last week on Hardcore TV.

Simon and Swinger vs. Chris Chetti/Nova vs. Roadkill/Danny Doring

It’s a brawl to start (duh) with Doring and Roadkill taking over on both teams. Nova and Chetti start firing off the kicks to the much bigger Roadkill, only to have to deal with Simon and Swinger. Roadkill hits the always cool double clothesline off the top but here’s CW Anderson (of the Dangerous Alliance) to clean house. A quick Simonizer (reverse DDT) eliminates Nova and we’re down to two teams. Doring and Roadkill clean house until Doring takes WAY too long on the top, allowing Chetti to shove him down. Swinger adds an implant DDT for the pin.

Rating: D+. I like all three of these teams but sweet goodness they were flying through this so fast that nothing had the chance to sink in. All three teams have a lot of potential and it would be nice if they had something to fight over, but for reasons that I’ll never comprehend, Heyman decided that the titles could be vacated on April 22 and new champions wouldn’t be crowned for four months. But at least the matches are good, when they have time that is.

ECW World Title: Justin Credible vs. Sandman

Justin is defending and Dawn Marie is referee for reasons of “well, we advertised her so she has to do something.” Oh and she hates Justin to make it even screwier. Dawn and Francine start the catfight but Justin canes Dawn in the head to get rid of her. Sandman starts on the floor and sends Justin into the barricade to avoid the whole wrestling thing.

That’s the perfect time to bring in a wooden pallet for an actually successful whip across the ring. Justin whips him into it for a change and the referee (not Dawn) is bumped. Sandman hits a hurricanrana (not without some pelvic thrusts into Justin’s face of course) and here’s Dusty Rhodes to count the two. Dusty fights off Corino and Victory and leaves, allowing Francine to just unload on Sandman with a cane.

That brings out Gorgeous George for the catfight, followed by Scotty Anton to beat on Sandman. Raven makes the save but gets a cane to the head. Those two fight to the back, leaving Sandman to toss Justin through a table in the corner. Now it’s Rhino coming in to blast Sandman, setting up That’s Incredible to retain Justin’s title.

Rating: C. Oh why not? There’s no indication that Sandman can actually wrestle and I haven’t seen any proof that Credible can do much besides swing a cane and Tombstone people so this is about as much as you can expect. It’s also ECW to a nutshell: violence, chaos and absolutely no wrestling in sight.

We’re still not done as Tommy Dreamer comes out with Jazz for a piledriver on some barbed wire to really bust Credible open to finally end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Some stupid stuff aside, it was so nice to actually get somewhere with any of the big stories, even if it was something that wasn’t much of a surprise. Heat Wave can’t get here soon enough though and the shows are getting just slightly better, though to be fair it wasn’t hard to improve over what they were doing just a few weeks ago.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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ECW on TNN
Date: June 30, 2000
Location: The Rave, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Attendance: 2,000
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles

The stupidly slow march towards Heat Wave continues as we keep waiting for anything new to happen. For a company built on the idea of being all energetic and insane, they certainly do know how to stay stuck in one place and never move out of it like few others I’ve ever seen. Let’s get to it.

Cyrus says the Whole F’ing Show might become the Dead F’ing Show when Rhino gets done with him.

Opening sequence.

The arena is really dimly lit, which suggests a bad house. If the 2,000 is accurate though, that’s hardly bad.

The FBI and Tajiri are in the ring with Joel and Joey for the opening but Jerry Lynn in a referee shirt cuts off Joel’s punchline (it involved hitting the ceiling). Jerry wants them out of the ring because he has this one under control. Last week was a mistake because Tajiri (Lynn: “This son of a b*$&@, but a very nice guy!”) blew mist in his eyes. The regular referee says he’s in charge but Jerry decides there are going to be two referees. That earns the regular referee a piledriver and we’re ready to go.

Tajiri vs. Little Guido

Tajiri is smart enough to give Tony Mamaluke a brainbuster before we’re ready to go. They speed things up very quickly for a few near falls each until Tajiri knees him in the head. Guido takes him down into a Fujiwara Armbar followed by some chops in the corner, only to have Tajiri grab his own Fujiwara Armbar for a nice touch. They head outside with Tajiri blasting him in the head with a kick, followed by the required chair shot.

Back in with Guido barely able to stand as Joey talks about a Nitro star defecting tonight. A bite to the head cuts Guido open and it’s time to kick at the cut. Back from a break with a table in the ring and Guido getting kicked even more. The Kiss of Death (Killswitch) gets two on Tajiri, who comes right back by kicking Lynn low. Cue Big Sal for a 600lb slam to crush Tajiri, giving Guido the pin.

Rating: C+. I like both of these guys and they were allowed to just wrestle for the most part, making this a much better match than most of what you get around here. The ending was your standard “well we don’t quite know yet” fare but you have to expect that. I mean, it’s only been like a month and a half of the same thing. That’s just getting warmed up in ECW.

Joey isn’t sure if Lynn saw anything because OF COURSE we don’t know anything for sure.

Van Dam wants his TV Title back tonight.

Mikey Whipwreck is freaking out over something to Sinister Minister. You can barely hear anything they’re talking about because of music playing in the background. Mikey says this is worth $1000 for two minutes but Minister isn’t convinced. They open the door and it’s WCW’s Gorgeous George dancing. Minister’s mind changes in a hurry. Mikey looks at the camera and says OH YEAH while doing the Randy Savage finger waves. Minister looks in again and I can’t say I blame him.

RVD is ready.

TNN actually airs a commercial for ECW. It’s for a show that aired earlier in the month but it’s a commercial nonetheless.

Francine vs. Jazz

Before the match, Francine says no way but here’s Jazz to cut her off. Jazz makes some threats but gets jumped by Justin Credible. Cue Tommy Dreamer for the save and let’s have a mixed tag.

Francine/Justin Credible vs. Jazz/Tommy Dreamer

Jazz headscissors Justin to start but he low blows Dreamer as things settle down. An enziguri puts Justin on the floor and the guys fight into the crowd. Justin actually gets the better of it and takes over inside as Joel makes sex jokes about Dreamer and Francine. Francine even gets in a few shots on Dreamer’s leg, only to have him claw her between the legs. A chair to the back puts Justin down and that means it’s time for a table.

Naturally Dreamer goes face first into said table (he brought it in after all) and everything breaks down with the heels being put in stereo Trees of Woe. That means double delayed dropkicks into chairs into their faces before the Tommyhawk (reverse Razor’s Edge into a cutter for a really cool looking move) gives Dreamer the pin on the champ.

Rating: D. Well that exists. I have no idea why Jazz vs. Francine is a thing but at least this helps set up Dreamer as a more credible (gah) challenger at the pay per view. I mean that’s a ladder match with barbed wire above the ring but at least it’s better than watching them try to have a regular match.

Jazz brings out barbed wire but the Network comes out to take care of Dreamer with Jack Victory kidnapping Jazz, leaving the rest to beat on Dreamer. Justin tombstones him on the barbed wire to make the blood flow even harder. Oh and Francine gets to pin Dreamer, making sure that he loses any heat he might have earned from the pin.

TV Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Rhino

Rhino is defending and they hammer on each other in the corner to start with Van Dam getting the better of it. A springboard kick to the face has Rhino in trouble but Rob poses instead of following up. Rhino gorilla presses him to take over but gets caught in a hurricanrana. The Gore hits way too early and Rob is up at two. You don’t often see finishers treated like middle of the road moves like that. We hit the chinlock for a bit followed by a spinebuster for two.

Rhino’s middle rope headbutt gets two more but gets caught by a stepover kick to the face. More kicks to the head have Rhino in trouble and there’s the Rolling Thunder onto a chair onto Rhino. Van Dam loads up the Five Star but here’s Scotty Anton to shove him off the top and that’s a DQ, which I didn’t even know existed in ECW.

Rating: C-. I know it didn’t have a finish and it was just an eight minute match, but these two should have been the main event of Heat Wave, not Rhino vs. Sandman (been done to death already) and Van Dam vs. Anton (kill me now). The match was fine enough and both guys looked good but this really shouldn’t have happened on TV when ECW is dying for money, which could have been brought in by a well publicized match between these two.

Van Dam has to fight off the entire Network but Credible gets in a Singapore cane shot to put him down. Sandman FINALLY comes out (after the fans chant for him for a good while) and beats Justin up to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. See, now this one I can get behind. For one thing, this show was all about the wrestling with three matches, all of which actually played a role in a story. More importantly than that though, the main event is building towards a big match next week as Sandman challenges Credible for the title. It doesn’t have to be some grand production. Just have the wrestling actually build somewhere and I’m much happier.

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ECW on TNN
Date: June 16, 2000
Location: Lawrence Convention Center, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles

We’re a month away from Heat Wave and a few matches have already been announced. That being said, it would be nice if we actually had something other than “ECW vs. Network brawl to end the show.” It doesn’t have to be anything great but they need to mix things up a little bit as things are really getting repetitive around here. Let’s get to it.

Sandman has been attacked and put in an ambulance.

Opening sequence.

Joey and Joel are cut off by Cyrus before Joel can get to his punchline about food. Cyrus wants to talk to Gertner but it takes a bit to get past the ECW/GERTNER chants. The problem is Gertner’s looks are killing the ratings so it’s time to get rid of him. Joel is tired of dealing with Cyrus using him to get over so it’s time to fight. Cyrus says there used to be a kid in his school that reminds him of Joel. Cyrus: “Do you know what I used to do to him?” Joel: “You used to suck his *#&$!” That earns Joel a slap to the face so he goes on a rant about how no one is here to see Cyrus so get to the point already.

The threat of being fired makes Joel apologize, but he means sorry that he has to take a blood test because Cyrus spat in his eye. Joel is ready to fight but Rhino runs in and Gores him. The usual suspects come in for the big brawl. We get the Van Dam vs. Anton showdown and you can hear people canceling their pay per view buys from here. This ate up the first fifteen minutes of the show after closing last week’s show. Well done.

Justin Credible gets in an argument with Rhino but Cyrus breaks things up.

Cyrus tells the medics that Gertner has an object lodged in his anus.

EZ Money vs. Kid Kash

Joined in progress as they speed things up early on. A headscissors from Kash gives us a stalemate but Money’s (who has bills hanging from his trunks) partner Chris Hamrick offers a distraction. Kash sends Money outside for a big flip dive and we take a break. Back (Joey: “On the Deliverance Channel.”) with Money hitting a modified piledriver, allowing Hamrick to add a guillotine legdrop. Kash’s moonsault press is countered into something like a reverse Razor’s Edge. A pinfall reversal sequence goes nowhere (likely because the pinfalls were reversed) and Kash hits a quick Moneymaker for the pin.

Rating: C. More cruiserweight style stuff here with Kash exchanging hurricanranas for actual wrestling or high flying skills. A win in a glorified handicap match makes Kash look good and that’s the best thing they can do when they’re trying to build up a new star. Not a good match or anything but it accomplished a goal, which is all it needed to do.

Kash gets beaten down until New Jack makes the save and does his usual insane stuff. He even hits Hamrick with an NES and uses a staple gun on Money for some blood. This goes on for a long time as we’re over halfway through the show. I get that the fans love New Jack and everything, but we’re half an hour in and we’ve seen an announcer get beaten down, a brawl we’ve seen over and over and an average match followed by a New Jack beatdown. If that’s the best they can do, maybe the show should be canceled.

Sinister Minister and his congregation (including Mikey Whipwreck, Balls Mahoney and a bunch of plants) rail against censorship. The Prodigette plays Monica Lewinsky underneath the podium and everyone starts laughing.

Credible and Rhino argue again with the same conclusion.

The Network wishes Jerry Lynn luck but he brushes them off. Joey, being an announcer, thinks this means a lot more than it seems. To be fair he’s probably right.

ECW World Title: Jerry Lynn vs. Justin Credible

Justin is defending. They chop it out to start with Justin getting the better of it but being sent outside for a whip into the barricade. The fight heads into the crowd and thankfully there’s a camera to see them fighting in an open space. I can’t stand it when the brawl is really just their heads moving through the crowd. Lynn wins a slugout over the bloody champion and drives his knuckles into the cut.

They get back in with Francine passing in a chair for a delayed dropkick in the corner. A jumping knee to the head (he did used to be part of the Kliq) and we hit the chinlock. The fans want tables because New Jack and these two brawling in the crowd isn’t enough violence. Jerry fights up and they chop it out with Lynn getting the better of it this time and sending Justin outside for a big dive. A super hurricanrana through a table satiates the fans’ blood lust for a bit. The possibly ruined knees can be forgiven of course.

That’s only good for two on the champ though so Lynn sets up another table in the corner. Francine throws in a chair but the DDT only gets two. The fans yell about wanting the table but have to settle for Jazz throwing Francine inside. Jazz’s X-Factor gets two on Justin and here’s the Network to make this even messier. That’s Incredible gets two on Jerry as the Network takes Francine to the back.

The referee gets bumped (LIKE IT MATTERS) so there’s no count off the cradle piledriver. Rhino comes in and Gores Lynn through the table though it’s not clear who it was meant for. Either way it’s enough for…..I think a pin as the video is sent into the corner while an Arena Football on TNN ad covers up most of the screen. Seriously.

Rating: D+. I know it’s the ECW style but these way over the top matches full of interference and weapons are getting ridiculous. Even worse though, we STILL haven’t advanced anything as it’s still not clear if Lynn is Network or not. I’ve seen worse matches but they should be able to go more than a minute straight without some kind of shenanigans.

Overall Rating: D. For DO SOMETHING ALREADY! Heat Wave is getting closer and ECW clearly has no idea hot to actually build to a pay per view. I’m barely even sure what matches are taking place on the show as ECW has done almost nothing to promote it so far. Instead it’s all about fighting TNN and Heyman airing his grievances on TV every single week. The show wasn’t the worst but my patience is wearing thin with this promotion.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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ECW on TNN
Date: June 9, 2000
Location: Alario Center, New Orleans, Louisiana
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

Maybe a trip down to New Orleans can speed things up a bit. As was the case coming into last week, the stories are interesting but they almost never go anywhere. Jerry Lynn as the wildcard in the big stable war has potential though, especially if he gets to be the one that goes after Rhino or Credible next. Scotty Anton continues to be death though and I think everyone knows it. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Joey and Joel do their entrance (the rhyme is about something going in a woman’s eye) and bring out hometown girl Jazz for a chat. She starts talking about how awesome she is until Justin Credible jumps her from behind with the Singapore cane. Justin has to drag Francine off of Jazz before saying he’s doing this because of Tommy Dreamer. If Tommy wants it to stop, come out here and fight. Cue Dreamer but everything is broken up.

Cyrus gives Scotty Anton a match with Raven, suggesting that he give Raven the Clap.

Paul Heyman has been banned from the show but he’s talking on ECW’s website.

Raven wants Anton to know that the world is filled with kings and queens.

Joey and Joel mock TNN’s response to the comments last week.

Scotty Anton vs. Raven

Before the match (and thankfully after a commercial), Cyrus offers Raven a spot in the Network because he used to be a ratings draw. Raven wants to know if he’s going to get some promo time. That’s not possible so Cyrus says he’s going to shake Anton’s hand and then Evenflow him. The match is on fast with Raven pounding away in the corner (Joey: “And the fans counting the viewers in Rollerjam after this show!”).

They head outside with Raven hitting him in the face but missing a middle rope elbow through a table. Back in and Anton slowly stomps away because he’s not talented enough to do anything more interesting. Anton works on the leg which he wraps around the post a few times. At least there’s an idea here. Raven comes back with a few shots to the face and a running knee lift, followed by the drop toehold into the chair. Anton gets out of a backslide though and puts on the Clapper for the surprise tap out.

Rating: C. This was actually better than I was expecting with Anton keeping things simple enough and letting Raven walk him through the match. There’s actually an interesting story with the Network deciding that someone who used to work in WCW had star power but there’s just NOTHING to back it up in the ring.

Da Baldies grew up on the streets and now they want to beat up New Jack. Again.

We get a WAY too long video on Justin Credible/Francine, as in over four minutes straight. I still do not get the appeal here.

The main event is a mystery partner tag match with Justin Credible and Tommy Dreamer both getting to pick a surprise partner. Cyrus comes out to offer Rhino’s services to Justin, who may be an annoying character but he’s not stupid. Dreamer has someone of his own though and this really shouldn’t be all that surprising.

Justin Credible/Rhino vs. Tommy Dreamer/Sandman

The brawl starts on the floor (duh) and it’s actually Rhino vs. Dreamer in the ring as I can’t imagine we see an actual tag match. A neckbreaker puts Rhino down and we’ve already got a ladder. Dreamer and Rhino fight into the crowd, leaving Sandman to be whipped into the ladder. Justin gets the same treatment as the other two come down the steps to get back inside.

A bulldog sends Justin into the ladder and all four are inside for the first time. Sandman drops Rhino with a super hurricanrana but here’s Steve Corino to break up a superplex on Justin. Tajiri comes out for the save, allowing Sandman to suplex Justin onto the ladder. Now it’s Anton to make it 4-3 as we’re waiting on Van Dam. That seems to happen a lot around here. Van Dam comes out a few seconds later and takes out Rhino with a really awkward looking Van Daminator with Rob bending down in front of him for a few seconds until someone throws Rhino a chair. A Five Star Frog Splash lets Sandman pin Rhino.

Rating: D+. Standard wild brawl here with the same people fighting to end the show that always end the show. That’s still the problem around here: it’s always “wait until next week” but next week is always more of the same. They need to actually get somewhere and hopefully that doesn’t mean waiting all the way until Heat Wave.

The Network beats the good guys down with a HORRIBLE Clapper on Van Dam ending the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Here’s the problem with the main event booking: all this happens every single week and it’s clear that Van Dam is gearing up for a huge match at Heat Wave. Who did he wind up getting? Scotty Anton. ECW is fighting for its life and their biggest star is facing Scotty Anton on a pay per view.

I get the idea of building something up but the title matches of Sandman vs. Rhino and Dreamer vs. Credible had been done before. At this point, they might as well have just put the World Title on Van Dam and built to their big title vs. title match. Wasting Van Dam on Anton was just another bad booking choice though and it’s caught up with ECW.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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