Smackdown – March 9, 2012: We’re Three Weeks From Wrestlemania. Do They Know That?

Smackdown
Date: March 9, 2012
Location: Mohegan Sun Casion, Uncasville, Connecticut
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Booker T, Michael Cole

Johnny Ace is in charge tonight and if it’s the same as when Teddy ran Raw on Monday, then we’re in for a very uneventful night indeed. Other than that I don’t think we have much else announced for tonight. Hopefully we get anything on the story for Sheamus vs. Bryan as we need any reason to care about them. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Ace hosting tonight and implying he’s out to steal the job permanently.

We open with a cage being lowered. Otunga and Ace are in the ring. Tonight we’re starting with a championship match in a cage because Teddy has never done that.

US Title: Santino Marella vs. Jack Swagger

Swagger throws him into the corner and pounds Santino down followed by a modified powerslam for two. Clothesline gets two. This has been all Swagger in the first two minutes. Santino tries to escape but Swagger launches him face first into the steel. Santino comes back with some punches and his signature stuff. Headbutt gets two and here comes the Cobra. Ziggler tries to climb in so his hands get hit by the Cobra to knock him to the floor.

Swagger grabs Marella in a belly to back suplex but Santino hits the Cobra to escape and both guys are down. Ziggler is ejected and we take a break. Back with Santino taking a knee to the ribs to put him down. Swagger takes the Cobra glove off and throws it to the floor. Rollup gets one for Santino and a sunset flip gets two. Swagger throws him down and hits a Vader Bomb for two.

He tries to climb but gets crotched and covered for two. Santino gets most of the way over but Swagger saves and they’re both back inside now. Santino comes back with a tornado DDT and crawls for the door. Santino kicks Swagger off and dives again but Swagger grabs the ankle lock. Vickie tries to slam the door on Santino’s head but hits Swagger instead, allowing Santino to crawl out to retain at 7:33 shown of 11:03.

Rating: C. This was fine all things considered. Why this was in a cage is beyond me, but I guess it’s to further the Ace vs. Long feud somehow. The match was just ok as neither is particularly great in the ring but the crowd was way into Santino. It’s better than Swagger having the title as he actually gets on TV too. I guess this is Ryder’s push too.

Teddy comes out to celebrate with Santino.

Teddy comes to see Ace/Otunga and doesn’t want Aksana to have to face Kane. Ace enjoys seeing Teddy squirm and Teddy begs a bit. Ace proposes a match between himself and Teddy. If Ace loses, Aksana will face Kane. Ok then.

Shawn will confront Undertaker on Monday.

Here’s Drew McIntyre in his gear. Is anyone surprised by this? Drew says that Ace will rehired him if he wins a match against a mystery opponent.

Drew McIntyre vs. Great Khali

And never mind as Otunga says Khali isn’t in the match, so here’s the real opponent.

Drew McIntyre vs. Hornswoggle

So why did Khali come out there at all? Horny is terrified despite regularly beating full sized guys before. Drew dominates him and keeps pulling him up after slams. The referee stops it at 1:39.

Khali chops Drew post match.

Aksana is scared for Teddy but he says it’s ok.

Ace is warming up in a track suit.

Ezekiel Jackson vs. Mark Henry

So the word on the street is that Henry is in hot water for not being tough enough for working through his injuries, despite being out there almost every week working through his injuries. There’s your lesson guys: don’t work hard, don’t enhance your character, don’t work through injuries, or you might be in danger of being released. Slugout to start but Zeke gets beaten down quickly. Zeke comes back with the clotheslines in the corner but Henry runs him over again. World’s Strongest Slam for the pin at 1:41. Well Jackson is moving up. Now he’s getting squashed by bigger names.

John Laurinitis vs. Teddy Long

Remember if Teddy wins, it’s Aksana vs. Kane. This gets big match intros. Ace grabs a mic after the bell rings and tries to talk Teddy out of this. Ace yells at Teddy to do the right thing and lay down, but Teddy won’t do it. Aksana freaks so Ace waves down Kane. Orton runs through the crowd and RKOs Kane, allowing Teddy to roll Ace up at about 2:30. Is this company aware the Wrestlemania is in three weeks? So to clarify, as soon as Kane gets up, he has to face Aksana right? Right?

According to the announcers, Teddy did that because Kane has been taken out so there won’t be a match. I’m as shocked as you are. Teddy and Aksana leave to have a nice dinner.

Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. Primo/Epico

Uh oh. Kofi was starting to get over as a legit guy again so we better put him in the black tag team of the month. Now the Kane vs. Aksana match isn’t happening because Teddy and Aksana left. So why didn’t Teddy just send Aksana away earlier in the night? Epico and Kofi start with Epico being monkey flipped to the corner. Off to Truth who dances around and hits a spinning legdrop for two.

Back to Kofi and Primo hooks the rope to send Kofi to the floor. Booker praises the cheating for being the right move. See, that’s what most commentators are horrible at: being subtle. Things settle down a bit and it’s Kofi in trouble against Primo. Kofi comes back with a knee to the head and there’s the hot tag to Truth. Everything breaks down and the Little Jimmy gets the pin on Primo at 5:11.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much but the tag champions get to job AGAIN to these two that have teamed together what, three times now? Why did Bourne have to get all drugged up when the division was actually getting some stability to it? This wasn’t a particularly good match, mainly because you knew the champions weren’t going to win.

Three minutes on Cena vs. Rock from Monday.

Here’s Cole in the ring to talk to Sheamus and Bryan. Yes, they’re actually talking about this match. Cole’s first question is to Bryan, asking how much of a role luck has played in his title reign. Bryan says you don’t need to be lucky when you’re good like he is. Nothing has been luck in any of his accomplishments, which he lists off. It’s been living a vegan lifestyle and scientific skill that has given him the title. That and charisma and sex appeal.

Sheamus says everyone needs a bit of luck. He’s lucky to be from Ireland and to be in WWE and in America and in front of all these people here. You make your own luck however and Sheamus has fought his way here. He also hasn’t hid behind a 99lb girl who looks like she should be in a Catholic schoolgirl uniform. AJ: “Well from my point of view…” Bryan: “AJ shut up.” Sheamus says Bryan should be wearing the skirt. At Wrestlemania, Bryan’s luck runs out.

Sheamus/Randy Orton/Big Show vs. Cody Rhodes/Daniel Bryan/The Miz

The staredown got cut short for Cody’s entrance, meaning once again this match gets like 3 minutes a week if it’s lucky. Sheamus vs. Cody gets things going. Quickly off to Randy as we hear again about Legacy and their history together. Orton stomps him down but Cody gets in a dropkick and the tag to Bryan. Cole says he’s starting to respect Bryan. Off to Big Show who throws the champion around a little bit more.

Bryan finally gets away and tags in his former NXT Pro. You know, in ancient history when NXT actually had a structure to it. Show throws Miz around too so Miz tags out to Cody. Cody comes in and tags out to Miz immediately. Show doesn’t care and brings Miz back in as we take a break. Back with Sheamus pounding on Miz. Miz comes back with some lefts in the corner but Sheamus comes back with a rolling fireman’s carry slam.

Off to Cody who gets the ten clubbing forearms in ropes. Miz finally gets in a shot to send him to the floor and Bryan adds the knee off the apron. Bryan vs. Sheamus now and Sheamus towers over him. Bryan keeps taking him down and strikes away with the knees and feet. Off to Miz who hits a running boot to the chest for two. Cody comes in as the heels are moving in and out well.

Back to Daniel who shouts YES with every kick in a funny bit. Miz hooks the chinlock and the knee to the back gets two. Here’s Cody again (see how fast they’re tagging?) as Cole makes fun of GI Bro. Celtic Cross out of nowhere is countered into a Russian legsweep for two. Irish Curse takes Cody down and there’s the hot tag to Randy. Everything breaks down and Show stalks Cody up the ramp. Elevated DDT takes Miz down but Bryan avoids it. Sheamus LAUNCHES Bryan into the barricade and they fight into the crowd. The Finale is countered into an RKO for the pin at 10:39 shown of 14:09.

Rating: C+. This was a good main event tag, but I’m really not sure why Miz was involved. Was Kane that injured off a single RKO? At least we got some in ring time for the two matches, although I’m worried that they’re going to give the title to Big Show which is one of the last people that they need to put a title on. Good match overall though.

Kane comes out post match and pulls Orton out to the floor. Kane knocks him into the crowd (called the Universe by Cole to make me roll my eyes) and they fight up the steps to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. I REALLY didn’t like this show. It’s like the main matches are being pushed back for the sake of the Teddy Long and Johnny Ace and Aksana. As I said earlier, do they realize that there are three weeks before Wrestlemania? I know Ace vs. Teddy is going to be lead to a match at Mania but the rest of the show felt thrown together. We have an unneeded gimmick match, Drew being rehired again, meaning that weeks of losses add up to nothing, a Henry squash, and the tag champions losing again. This show had no focus at all and it was a pain to sit through as a result. Bad show.

Results
Santino Marella b. Jack Swagger – Marella escaped the cage
Drew McIntyre b. Hornswoggle due to referee stoppage
Mark Henry b. Ezekiel Jackson – World’s Strongest Slam
Teddy Long b. John Laurinitis – Rollup
Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Primo/Epico – Little Jimmy to Primo
Randy Orton/Sheamus/Big Show b. The Miz/Cody Rhodes/Daniel Bryan – RKO to Miz

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Monday Night Raw – February 27, 2012 – Cena Wins Again Because Rock Can’t Be Serious

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 27, 2012
Location: Rose Garden, Portland, Oregon
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

The main thing to see tonight is that Rock is back (again). We’re scheduled to get his response to Cena’s promo from last week. This should be the start of the serious part of their feud as opposed to the stupid comments that Rock has made over the past year which have been based on comedy rather than the desire to see a fight. Let’s get to it.

Daniel Bryan vs. CM Punk

Nice to see another match getting the proper build. Saving something for PPV? What does that mean? Punk comes out first but Jericho comes out instead of Bryan. He says Punk is one of his favorites but Punk isn’t as good as he is. Jericho never had to say he was the best in the world because everyone else said it for him. He talks about how he didn’t care what people said backstage because he knew he’d have the best match on the card.

Punk yells at Jericho, talking about how Jericho didn’t invent everything in wrestling. Did he invent being from Canada? Jericho says Punk doesn’t take anything seriously but he needs to do it with Jericho, because he’s something different. Punk goes off on Jericho again, talking about he’s been here talking about he knows he’s the best and has been here swimming with sharks while Jericho was off Dancing With The Stars. Jericho says he’s still the best and while he was off doing all that stuff, all he was thinking about was Punk and proving that he’s the best in the world.

Oh yeah we’ve got a match to get to. Bryan comes out and jumps Punk. Ace, Otunga, Long and Santino are all at ringside. The bell will officially ring after a break. Back with Brian firing off kicks in the corner but Punk hits a cross body out of the corner for two. Teddy and Ace are on commentary here so Cole sucks up to Ace. Punk comes back with knees to the back for two. He backdrops Bryan to the floor and sets to dive, but Bryan calls AJ over to tend to him.

The distraction lets Bryan take Punk’s knee out and send him into the steps. We take another break (pretty fast no?) and come back with Bryan holding an abdominal stretch. We missed the ending from last week with Punk almost winning off a superplex with the interlocking legs. Punk hits the knee in the corner but he bulldog is countered. He slams Bryan down and hits the top rope elbow but his ribs are too hurt to cover.

Otunga tries to interfere but Punk kicks him down. LeBell Lock is countered and Otunga gets up again. The wrestlers hit stereo cross bodies as Santino knocks Otunga down. Ace pulls Santino down as Bryan is walking out. Sheamus throws him back in and Punk hits the GTS. Ace says that’s a DQ and the bell rings at 10:20.

Rating: C+. This didn’t have the time to be anything good and was more about setting up Smackdown vs. Raw at Wrestlemania than the match itself. Clearly they needed to use the world titles against each other to accomplish this too right? The match again didn’t have a clean ending which is good, but it’s having these potential main event matches for free on TV that makes PPV matches less important.

Punk poses on the stage when Jericho runs out and beats him up. He slams Punk on the stage and puts him in the Liontamer.

We get a video on HHH vs. Undertaker from last year with testimonials from big names and The Miz saying how amazing it was. IT WASN’T THAT GOOD!

Kelly Kelly vs. Nikki Bella

Nikki slams her into the mat to start and does a Hennig neck snap. Kelly does her screaming headscissors and kicks the other Bella down. She reverses a rollup to pin Nikki at 1:30. Your usual Divas stuff.

John Cena vs. The Miz

Miz says that no one works harder than he does and how he’s flown 16 hours to do PR in Russia. For some reason though he isn’t even on the card for Wrestlemania yet. What better way to show why he should be on it than by beating the guy that he beat in the main event last year? Miz escapes a quick AA attempt and hits his usual stuff to take over. Cena hits a backdrop and some clotheslines but walks into Miz’s short DDT for two. The corner clothesline hits and Miz goes up, but misses his top rope ax handle. Cena starts up his finishing sequence and hits the Shuffle. AA and STF end this at 4:04.

Rating: D+. Miz gets crushed. Again. This is the problem with most upper midcard guys anymore: there’s no way to get them taken seriously because they’re always against a big star on TV and half the time they have to lose. Maybe they shouldn’t have these matches on free TV? Nah that’s crazy talk.

Rock pops up on screen and does the You Can’t See Me sign.

Tag Titles: Epico/Primo vs. R-Truth/Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler

Ok then. This is actually more like the WCW Triangle matches where you have three people in the ring at once. You can only tag your partner though. Kofi, Dolph and Primo start us off but Ziggler chills on the floor. Things break down quickly and now there’s no one in the ring. Kofi and Swagger fall to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Primo, Swagger and Truth in the ring and Swagger breaking up a Truth sunset flip. Swagger and Primo get in an argument and it’s off to Ziggler. A great dropkick by Ziggler puts Truth down but Primo tries to steal the pin. Truth comes back and hits a combination Downward Spiral/DDT to both guys. A double tag prevents the tag to Kofi but Swagger gets in a fight with Epico, allowing the hot tag to Kofi.

He cleans house with his high flying stuff and gets two off the cross body. A double Boom Drop to one of each opponents but Ziggler hits the Zig Zag to break up the Trouble in Paradise. Swagger gets two off that and then grabs the ankle lock on Epico. Trouble in Paradise takes Swagger down and Primo hits a Backstabber on Kofi, allowing Epico to steal the pin to retain at 8:21.

Rating: C. Why in the world would you keep the titles on these guys? No one cares about them, they’re not particularly good and their matches are nothing special. Is this supposed to prove that they’re better than these two teams? Not having them lose clean to Kofi/Truth last week would have done the same thing.

Post match Kane comes out to clear the ring and beat up everyone in sight.

Ace and Otunga are in the back talking about the Oscars when Teddy comes in. Nothing to see here.

We recap the Eve heel turn and her wanting to use Cena.

Here’s Eve in the arena with new EVIL music. She says she doesn’t care that she uses people because it’s not her fault that men can’t resist her. The men should blame themselves for their weaknesses. And that’s it.

We see Eve in the back and Kelly messes up the whole thing with her awful acting. Alicia is next to Kelly for no apparent reason. Eve leaves them there.

Trailer for Edge’s new movie. Oh great. It’s a buddy comedy.

Orton is back on Smackdown to face Bryan.

Big Show/Sheamus vs. Cody Rhodes/Mark Henry

Henry isn’t allowed time off to heal is he? Cody shows us a clip from Mania where Show lost to Floyd Mayweather. Cody immediately tags Henry in and Show stomps him down to start. Show spears him down and glares at Cody who is on the ramp. Sheamus tags himself in and Brogue Kicks Henry down for the pin at 59 seconds.

The Board of Directors are going to announce something at 10am tomorrow and it might involve potential leadership changes on both shows.

We get a recap of Cena’s promo last week and Rock is up next.

Shawn will be on Raw next week.

Here’s Rock for the big response. The fans chant for him and he seems legit taken back by it. Rock says look at his arm which is real. He’s covered in goosebumps because this feels good. He says this might surprise some people, but he’s not here every week. Him saying he’d never leave didn’t mean that he’d be at Raw and Smackdown every week. The fans chant Fruity Pebbles.

Rock says he was born and raised in this business and is here for no reason other than because he loves the WWE. He’ll always be a part of it and it’ll always be a part of him. He finally says Cena’s name and the people boo. For years, Rock thought Cena was a phony. He didn’t think that someone who graduated from a private school could become the Doctor of Thuganomics. But then Rock realized that Cena really is that guy.

Cena said that it took forever to get to Rock but why, when he has Rock’s cell phone number. Instead of talking on the phone or in person though, Rock would rather slap him in the face with a piece of kung pow chicken. Last week Cena said that he’ll fight at Wrestlemania for all of the people in the back that love to be a professional wrestler. Rock grew up as one and he was always taught that no one was going to fight for himself but himself.

When he was climbing the ladders (he climbed ladders?) do you think anyone fought for him? Do you think anyone fought for Austin, Savage or Piper? Rock fights for the people, not the boys in the back. He says kung pow is now trending world wide. That made my eyes roll. Rock says the people aren’t tired of being entertained. That’s what he does: he entertains.

Rock says he mentioned Cena eating Fruity Pebbles and then a few months later, Cena was on a cereal box. He said lady parts and it was chanted. Now Rock leads them in chants of Rocky and lady parts. That’s what Rock does: he entertains. The most interesting thing Cena has done all year is change the kind of shorts he wears to camouflage. That’s been effective because we can’t find his balls anywhere. And cue Rock telling us that Cena’s missing balls is trending.

Cue Cena thank goodness. Cena says that only Rock could come up with calling someone kung pow chicken. He is the guy that talks Rock down because Rock isn’t here. However, Rock is only half right because Cena will run Rock down when Rock is here too. Cena used to love Rock too until he met Dwayne Johnson. Dwayne is self-centered and egotistical and Cena doesn’t need words trending on Twitter, or his promo printed on his wrist (which Rock apparently had).

At Wrestlemania, Cena is going to be looking into the eyes of Dwayne Johnson, not The Rock like everyone else will see. Cena says carry on and continue trending and leaves. Rock says that’s just like Cena to walk away before the right. Rock and Dwayne Johnson are the same person and he’ll be kicking Cena all over Wrestlemania, if you smell what he’s cooking. Rock sounded REALLY desperate after Cena left.

Overall Rating: C+. This was ALL about Rock’s response to Cena and the rest of the show meant nothing. That being said, the rest of the show did nothing for me at all. It wasn’t a bad show or anything but nothing on it made me any more interested in the show than I already am. Punk and Jericho are going to have a good match but it’s going to mean nothing in the long run by comparison.

Results
Daniel Bryan b. CM Punk via DQ when Sheamus interfered
Kelly Kelly b. Nikki Bella – Rollup
John Cena b. The Miz – STF
Epico/Primo b. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler and Kofi Kingston/R-Truth – Epico pinned Swagger after Trouble in Paradise
Sheamus/Big Show b. Mark Henry/Cody Rhodes – Brogue Kick to Henry

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Clash of the Champions Count-Up – #29: That’s One High Quality Sleeper

Clash of the Champions 29
Date: November 16, 1994
Location: Jacksonville Memorial Coliseum, Jacksonville, Florida
Attendance: 4,000
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

We’re in 1994 here and almost a year before Nitro. Hogan is of course world champion and has recently retired Flair. We’re also in the days of the 3 Faces of Fear which would evolve into the Dungeon of Doom soon which was rather successful if you think about it from an odd angle. Either way this wasn’t a great year for the company so let’s get to it.

The opening video is of course about Hogan vs. the Faces of Fear. He recently unmasked Brutus Beefcake, revealing him to be the Butcher in name change #85 or so. The main event is a six man tag with Mr. T. as guest referee for no apparent reason.

Heenan says that Hogan is done and is booed out of the building.

After running down the card we’re ready to go to….Gene who talks about the Hotline for a bit before Meng and Colonel Parker come out. Apparently he has a tag title shot lined up for Bunkhouse Buck and Arn Anderson which they lost.

Tag Titles: Stars N Stripes vs. Pretty Wonderful

Stars N Stripes are Bagwell and the Patriot, Pretty Wonderful are Paul Roma and Paul Orndorff (holy Yoda line Batman and holy combination of two awesome geek series) and this is mask (Patriot’s) vs. title (Pretty Wonderful’s). The camera is a bit low so you can’t see over all of the fans. These teams traded the titles over the last two months or so. After a lot of stalling it’s Bagwell vs. Orndorff to start.

Roma comes in quickly and ever the genius, wrestles like a face. By that I mean he’s climbing the ropes and flipping off of them, jumping over Bagwell, using cross bodies and dropkicks. How many heels do you know that wrestle like that regularly? Anyway the challengers clear the ring quickly. Heenan thinks Patriot is Al Gore.

Paul vs. Patriot at the moment. Blast it this is one of those teams that I have to specify with. Orndorff vs. Patriot at the moment. How in the world was Roma a Horseman but not Orndorff? Patriot takes him down with an armbar and Orndorff isn’t sure what to do. Off to Roma who shows off again with three backbreakers without putting Patriot down. Thesz Press gets two for the masked dude.

The champions try a double hot shot but the cameraman falls over so we don’t see what happens. I know it’s just an accident but when do you ever see that? Orndorff drops an elbow on Bagwell as they’re legal at the moment. The fans chant USA for four American wrestlers. Off to Roma who has a REALLY high dropkick. Powerslam gets two. Sunset flip by Bagwell gets two on Orndorff.

Roma and Patriot hit the floor as this match is needing to end rather soon. Thankfully it does but even a simple pin doesn’t go right for them. Orndorff suplexes Bagwell and lays there with him, but doesn’t let him go. Roma goes up for a splash off the top ala the Powerplex but Patriot makes the save. Orndorff just stayed in the position and gets pinned, but Tony screws up the count, making it seem like the titles change on a two count and generally confusing the TV audience. Either way, new champions.

Rating: D+. Orndorff got a push at this point for some reason which I’m SURE wasn’t because he was one of Hogan’s buddies but whatever. The tag title situation never really was interesting at all at this point but they were trying….I think. Harlem Heat would rise up soon to half save the division but they tried at least.

TV Title: Johnny B. Badd vs. Honky Tonk Man

I know I know, just go with it. Badd is champion here. Honky, ever the Memphis man, stalls to start us off. He works on the arm of Badd as we talk about Honky’s hair. Now Badd works on his arm for a change of pace. This is a rematch from Halloween Havoc where someone thought them having a draw was a good idea for no apparent reason.

Badd catches a kick and Honky hops around so Badd messes up the hair. Why is this airing? For the life of me I don’t understand. Honky takes over with the falling fist for two so we hit the chinlock. That lasts only a few seconds and it’s time for the Shake Rattle and Roll. That goes nowhere as Badd gets him into the corner for multiple punches. Million dollar kneelift gets two. Down goes the referee and Honky pops Johnny with the guitar, only to get caught and we’re done.

Rating: F+. Honky Tonk Man is one of the worst investments in the history of this company. For the life of me I don’t get the point of having him around as he hadn’t meant anything in about 6 years at this point. Badd wasn’t any good yet but in a few months he would get awesome in a hurry. Terrible match here though.

The 3 Faces of Fear (Brutus Beefcake called Butcher, Earthquake called Shark and Kevin Sullivan who is rarely called) say that they’re Hogan’s worst nightmares. This is the least intimidating group I’ve seen in years. Avalanche has a brother named Tropical Storm Gordon. How do you even respond to that?

Harlem Heat vs. Nasty Boys

These two fought at about 5 PPVs in 1995, which says a lot more when there were only 9 or 10 PPVs that year. This is a street fight. The Nasties are faces here……I think. Ok maybe it’s not an official street fight but one in name only. Booker vs. Knobbs starts us off. The Nasties clear the ring and the fans get in the face of Stevie on the floor. Off to Stevie who gets shoved around by Sags. This is another boring match already.

Knobbs works on Booker’s knee as this is a ridiculously boring match. THANK GOODNESS we take a break as even Bobby wants to take one. Back with….a shot of the video screen. Heenan is gone apparently. Booker gets a big kick to Knobbs and Bobby is back. Stevie pounds away as Tony says this is everything they expected. They had really low expectations then.

Booker, by far the most talented guy in the match, comes in and misses an elbow off the middle rope and Sags comes in to hammer away a bit. Everything breaks down as there’s a phone involved somehow. Booker tries to call someone on it as Stevie is beaten within an inch of his life. Apparently it’s Sister Sherri who has been their boss all along and her distraction allows Booker to get the Harlem Hangover on Sags to end this.

Rating: F+. Other than Sherri looking surprisingly good in leather, this was a total mess. The Nasties were another team that existed because they were buddies with Hogan and that’s about it. Anyway, weak match here as expected although it at least had a major storyline development in it.

Ad for Starrcade on a Tuesday. Well Sunday was Christmas Day so their backs were to the wall on that one.

Dustin Rhodes vs. Vader

This is a pretty big match actually as Vader is #1 contender and Rhodes is about the level of Kofi Kingston at the moment. At the same time though Dustin has one of the worst theme songs of all time. Look up a song with the line “They call him the natural” in it and you’ll see what I’m talking about. Naturally we talk about Dusty Rhodes because we have to do that once a show to meet a quota I guess.

Vader shoves him around with ease to start as anyone would expect him to do. Dustin spears him down and hammers away to a BIG pop. Vader was hated at this point and was easily the best heel since Flair but Hogan beat him at two straight PPVs with ease. Dustin rips the mask off and gets a cross body for two. All of this is high impact and fast paced with the crowd getting louder with every move.

Clothesline takes Vader to the floor and the beating continues. Dustin drills Race (Vader’s manager) because he can. Back in the ring and Vader hammers away even more, drilling him down in the corner. Other than a few shots in the opening this has been ALL Dustin. Dustin gets a pretty freaking nice snap suplex on Vader who bails to the floor to try to get a breather.

And then it all comes crashing down as Vader just rams into Dustin to shift momentum again. Vader hammers him down and pounds away. A missed splash in the corner lets Dustin get a rollup for two and so ends Dustin’s offense at the moment. Dustin manages to avoid another splash and gets a powerslam out of nowhere for two. Another Thesz Press kind of move puts Vader down but the referee is bumped.

Bulldog is countered as Vader throws Dustin over the ropes. No DQ though since the referee was down. Vader Bomb gets two as Dustin gets his foot on the ropes. Another Vader Bomb gets the same result as Race curses more than a fleet of sailors. Dustin is more or less dead here. Vader slams him down and tries a shoulder off the middle rope but Dustin pops up with a powerslam out of nowhere.

They slug it out and Dustin HAMMERS away but he can’t put him down. Ok maybe he can with a top rope clothesline. Dustin puts Vader on the top rope and wants a superplex. Realizing that simply isn’t going to happen he DDTs Vader for two off the middle rope instead.

Bulldog hits but Race gets in for the distraction. A splash to the back sets up a wheelbarrow drop (picture a German suplex but grabbing the legs instead of around the waste and slamming Dustin down face first instead of suplexing him back. Look up a wheelbarrow suplex and instead of doing the suplex slamming him forward) Dustin is dead and it’s finally over.

Rating: B+. WHERE IN THE WORLD DID THIS COME FROM??? This was an awesome match to say the least which got me totally into the concept that Dustin could pull this off when this should have been a squash. Vader could sell far better than he’s given credit for and Dustin took advantage for every bit of it. I was ready to say “and that does it” at least five times and had to keep erasing it. Find this match and check it out as it’s very good and a total surprise. Absolutely brutal fight with Dustin going move for move with Vader for about twelve minutes.

Vader sets to beat up Dustin even more until Duggan comes out for the save. Vader would take the US Title from Duggan at Starrcade

Hogan, Sting and Dave Sullivan (cue Pretender joke) say they’re not afraid of the 3 Faces of Fear. We get more references to the tropical storm, which is ok to make fun of I guess. It only killed 1150 people and caused over a billion dollars of damage in 2011 dollars. Nothing you can’t work into a bunch of references to it in a wrestling show right?

US Title: Jim Duggan vs. Steve Austin

Duggan beat Austin for the title in 35 seconds at Fall Brawl because the writing was clearly on the wall that DUGGAN was the future of the business, not this guy named Austin that had recently started fighting authority and legends and was swearing a bit while wearing black. Yeah some people are still stunned (get it?) to this day that this company ever made a dime. Duggan goes after Austin who stalls a lot. And never mind as here’s Vader to return the favor from earlier and end this with Duggan winning by DQ in less than a minute. Duggan saves himself with the board.

3 Faces of Fear vs. Hulk Hogan/Sting/Dave Sullivan

Mr. T is referee here for no apparent reason at all. He’s in something like a nightcap as my head hurts again. The Faces of Fear come out to what would become Eddie Guerrero’s music which is way too perky for them. All three non-Faces of Fear are in yellow and red because they want to eat this week or something. We even get a reference to Hogan retiring Flair in the intro by Buffer. That’s rather amusing.

Hogan jumps Taskmaster (Sullivan) to start us off. Off to Sting who actually hits that big jumping elbow of his. Everything breaks down as shocking no one, Sullivan can’t do anything. Actually there is one thing he can do: get injured, which he does here. His arm gets messed up and he has to leave, making it a handicap match. Hogan vs. Avalanche at the moment and Hogan can’t slam him for now.

Off to Hogan vs. Beefcake which wound up being the main event of Starrcade for no reason involving intelligence. Avalanche comes back in again and Hogan still can’t slam him. Sullivan comes in and hammers away which gets him nowhere as Hogan fights off the Boston Midget. Earthquake throws on the bearhug as Sting hasn’t been in for a very long time now.

We get the usual Hogan vs. Quake match that we got a few thousand times around 1990. Powerslam sets up the missing elbow and there’s your hot tag to Sting. Sting has to fight three guys off and ultimately gets caught in a splash in the corner as it’s apparent Hogan is going to get the big save at the end. Avalanche drops a big leg on Sting to be funny.

Off to Sullivan vs. Sting now and that sounds so lopsided it’s unreal. Hot tag to Hogan so he can fight Butcher. The Megaphone gets involved in there somehow and Hogan pins the wrong guy (Sullivan) to finally end this. Mr. T goes down and it’s a big fight. T would fight Sullivan at Starrcade. This also set up Sting vs. Avalanche and Randy Savage got involved somehow also.

Rating: D+. Just a main event tag match here but the problem is that at the end of the day, the top heel is Brutus Beefcake on a team of three. How excited am I supposed to get about this match? No one wanted to see it other than Beefcake and Hogan, which would become a running theme with various people being substituted in for Beefcake for like a year.

The 3 Faces of Fear beat down Hogan with a sleeper going on him for like 2 minutes. The announcers play it up like Beefcake shot him in the head with a shotgun or something because NO ONE has ever been in a sleeper for over a minute right? Various faces come out to try and help but it takes security and cops to break it up. Hogan is “in serious condition” to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. The only thing keeping this from being a failure is the shockingly awesome Rhodes vs. Vader match. Other than that, it’s WCW in 1994 and that simply wasn’t very good. At the end of the day, Hulk Hogan vs. a heel Brutus Beefcake does not work. They wanted this to be something epic but it just wasn’t there. Hogan booked this company into a lot of trouble around this time and 1995 made things even worse. Thankfully I’m mostly done with that era though, as I don’t think I could take much more of it.

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NWA World Championship Wrestling – February 15, 1986 – Magnum TA Is Awesome

NWA World Championship Wrestling
Date: February 15, 1986
Location: WTBS Studios, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentator: Tony Schiavone

This is the flagship show for the NWA. Their TV show was called World Championship Wrestling so when Turner took over in about two years, he just named the company after the TV show. Anyway, there are going to be a lot of squashes tonight and a lot of talk about this new group that formed last month (unofficially): the Four Horsemen. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip of Tully vs. Dusty and Tully giving up, then getting piledriven. JJ gives Tully Dusty’s National Championship Belt.

Tony runs down the card.

Jimmy Valiant vs. Ron Rossi

Valiant is the dancing guy with a big beard. For you Chicago guys out there, he’s not here to start no trouble, he’s just here to do the Boogie Man Shuffle. Valiant murders him for a minute or two, knocks him to the floor, brings him back in, murders him some more and drops his big elbow to win. Don’t expect very many grades in this show.

JJ and Tully yell at Tony about Ron Rossi. JJ says that Tully can beat Rossi faster than Valiant did. Tully says he works better under pressure so he’s going to give himself four weeks to win Dusty’s National Heavyweight Title.

Cornette says that he’s been fined $5000 but mama has already sent in the check. As for the Rock N Roll Express, they do get fan mail from girls but they’re girls like these. He unfolds a picture of a fat woman in a swimsuit and says this is all they can get. The Midnights defend later.

Baron Von Raschke vs. Kent Glover

Raschke is an East German monster that was around forever. He’s managed by Paul Jones and is destroying the jobber here. Glover gets in a few shots but Baron pounds him down with clubbing forearms. Raschke hooks the Claw and we’re done.

Rating: D. Not much here as it was just a long squash. The Baron was nothing of note at all but he was fine for an old school evil foreign heel. I don’t recall him ever going past the midcard but by this point and he was later in his career, having been around nearly twenty years at this point. Then again if you were in Jones’ Army, it didn’t matter much anyway.

Jones introduces his newest man: Teijho Khan. He’s the stereotypical white guy playing an Asian.

The Barbarian vs. Paul Garner

Barbarian would join Jones’ Army eventually. Oh ok he’s already with him here. Garner is thrown around by the powerhouse of Barbarian. Garner tries to work on the arm but a headbutt sends him to the floor. Jones adds in a cane shot. I’m skipping over a lot of stuff here because there’s nothing interesting to it. It’s Barbarian beating on Garner with power moves and headbutts. BIG boot puts Garner down, setting up a powerslam and swan dive for the pin.

Rating: D-. This was a nearly 6 minute squash. Didn’t the point pretty much get proven after about two? That’s one of the other things that’ll happen on these shows: matches going FAR longer than the really need to. Squashes are somewhat entertaining but they lose steam quickly, which is why they rarely go long.

Jimmy Valiant says he’s behind Dusty and is ready for Tully. He’ll fight Paul Jones’ Army too.

Tully Blanchard vs. Ray Traylor

Yes, that’s Big Bossman as a jobber. He’s in a singlet here which looks like an S&M outfit on him. JJ is on commentary and sounds a little worried about Traylor’s size. Tully goes amateur on him but Traylor gets up and muscles him back into the corner. Traylor keeps using his weight to get him into the corner. Tully sweeps the leg and takes it to the mat again. He manages to get Traylor up and hit the slingshot suplex for the pin.

Rating: C+. Considering Traylor’s size (over 350lbs) that suplex at the end was awesome. Dusty was so impressed by the fact that Traylor could take it and make it look good that Traylor got a full time job out of this. He was kept off TV for three months and came back as Cornette’s unstoppable and unhurtable bodyguard Big Bubba Rogers and would jump to the WWF in about two years.

Tony talks about the inaugural Jim Crockett Senior Memorial Tag Team Tournament. What a mess that show was. Here’s Jim Crockett Jr. who thinks the tournament will be in Greensboro. There’s also mention of a new belt for Flair. That would be the Big Gold Belt, or the World Heavyweight Championship as it’s known today.

Ron Garvin vs. Art Pritts

What a name for the jobber. Garvin takes him to the mat very quickly and grabs a neck crank. Side roll gets two and Garvin lays on him. A forearm and knee lift put Pritts down and the fans seem to like Ronnie. I guess there was a radon leak or something in Atlanta. Garvin hits headbutts to what appeared to be Pritts’ hand. Ronnie hooks various stretches on Pritts and the Hands of Stone (big punch) ends this.

Rating: F. Any match with Ronnie Garvin in it is a failure by definition, but this one was boring on top of that. The squash went on too long again, which is becoming a recurring theme tonight. Maybe that’s an NWA WCW thing but it’s getting kind of dull. Two hours for this show might have been too long but this was their version of Raw.

Garvin says he and Flair will collide like two trains and he’s not going off the tracks. He respects Flair as a wrestler, not as a man. They’ll meet somewhere and that’s all that matters.

Cornette says Crockett won’t take away the tennis racket because it’s the security blanket that his mama gave him when she’s not there.

Tag Titles: Midnight Express vs. Ron Bass/Don Kernodle

This is Condrey/Eaton. Bass and Condrey start things off. Cornette sits in on commentary to make my day better. Bass sends him to the floor as Cornette says they’re just feeling the challengers out which is why they’re starting slow. Bass works on the arm and it’s off to Eaton. Eaton is slammed and it’s off to Kernodle. Scratch that as it was a high five and not a tag. Whatever.

Ok now it’s Kernodle. Condrey pounds on him as does Bobby. Kernodle hits a clothesline and we take a break. Back with the champs in control of Bass but he kicks both of them off at the same time. A double noggin knocker sends the champs into the corner again. Condrey tries a test of strength. Bass is in a competition with Barbarian for who the strongest guy in the company is at this point, so guess who wins.

Condrey cheats to take Bass down and Eaton hits the top rope legdrop for one. Cornette is at ringside now and is panicking. Bass suplexes Eaton down and tags in Don. Kernodle takes Condrey down and hits a neckbreaker for two. Off to Bass who works on a backbreaker. The Midnights double team to escape and it’s Condrey hooking a chinlock. Eaton goes up again and misses a top rope elbow this time. Bass comes back in with a pair of elbows for two. There’s the Claw but Cornette hits him with the racket for the DQ to save the titles.

Rating: D-. This didn’t work at all. The Midnights never looked like they had any momentum here and the challengers’ style totally clashed with theirs’. It’s probably the worst Midnights match I’ve ever seen and I’ve seen quite a few of them. Maybe it was just an off night?

The Rock N Roll Express clears the ring.

The Rock N Roll complains about Cornette and the racket when Dusty comes in. He has a present for them: a small cage that Cornette will be locked in during matches from now on. Dusty says he found it in a place that was kinky in San Francisco. I REALLY don’t want to know that story. This would be a staple of the Express matches.

Dusty and Baby Doll talk about Tully. I have no idea what they’re saying.

Rock N Roll Express vs. Larry Clarke/Bob Owens

The Express controls to start and take I think Clarke to the mat. Gibson comes in to elbow him down and hooks a headscissors. Total squash again here and there’s not much to talk about. They make a wish with Clarke’s legs and beat on both guys. Double dropkick puts Owens down for the pin.

Rating: D. Another boring squash. The Rock N Roll could feud with anyone but they were building up towards another Express showdown which was probably a classic. This was another boring squash though and it didn’t go anywhere at all. At least the show is almost over though.

The Russians warn the Americans that they’re coming for them. Not a specific American. Just any of them and they’re coming for the US Title. Magnum is watching from the ring. Ivan says there will be no Nikita matches after today until Magnum faces Nikita on this show for the US Title. Nikita speaks Russian about Magnum.

Magnum TA vs. Lee Peek

Here’s Magnum’s gimmick: he beats everyone in thirty seconds. Therefore he’s the match: headlock, shoulder, hip toss, dropkick, belly to belly, pin.

Magnum says he’ll do wrestling a favor and keep Nikita out of wrestling. He goes on a long rant against the Russian team as well.

TV Title: Arn Anderson vs. Sam Houston

Houston is Mid-Atlantic Champion here but it’s just Arn’s title on the line. Anderson headlocks him down and there’s a lot of stalling. Arn stalls on the floor a few times so Houston holds open the ropes for him to get outside easier. Houston speeds things up with dropkicks and Anderson slows things down. Down to the mat and Houston hooks a headlock. Anderson hits him in the ribs to slow things down again.

Arn goes to the arm which is his biggest tradition. He stomps away on it and Houston has a bad arm coming in anyway. Here’s an armbar and we take a break. Sam hammers away but ducks his head and Arn elbows him in the back to take him down again. There’s the hammerlock slam and a shortarm scissors. Anderson cranks on the arm for a few minutes and there’s not much to talk about in between.

Houston gets up and comes back with right hands. He monkey flips Arn out of the corner but a second results in an atomic drop. That only gets two so it’s arm time again. Houston fires off right hands and backdrops Anderson. A cross body misses and Houston crashes into the ropes and Anderson gets the pin.

Rating: C-. Not a great match as the match was mainly Anderson working on the arm. Sam Houston was never a guy that was interesting for me. He was so small and never got any interesting offense at all. Also being a guy from Texas and using the bulldog as a cowboy can only carry you so far.

Anderson says he’s champion and no one is going to take it from him.

Jim Cornette doesn’t like the idea of the cage. He HATES the idea of being 80 feet in the air. It was more like 20 but you get the idea.

Nikita Koloff vs. Josh Stroud

Nikita kills him deader than dead. Josh fires off some right hands which just tick Nikita off a little more. The Sickle ends this.

Magnum runs out to help the jobber but the Russians beat him down. Dusty makes the save to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a chore to sit through. The problem is that there are a lot of squashes which doesn’t mean that it’s interesting to sit through for the most part. It’s not a bad show and when you consider this was the flagship show back in the day, that makes it a lot more bearable. It doesn’t hold up well, but if this is what you grew up on it probably would help a lot.

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Smackdown – February 10, 2012 – Can Orton Have A Bad Match?

Smackdown
Date: February 10, 2012
Location: BOK Center, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

Tonight’s main event is Orton vs. Bryan in a non title match. That means the match should be a lot better as we have one of the best in ring workers in the world today in there and on the other side we have the world champion. It’ll be nice to see him against someone who isn’t a giant and someone who might be effected by Bryan’s offense. Let’s get to it.

Do you know your enemy? Mine is a snow storm that might slow down the airport.

Here’s Sheamus to open the show who talks about how he has to pick which champion to face at Mania. When he was a kid he was bullied but he started fighting back. He got better with each fight until he was good enough that he got here. Sheamus says he isn’t going to change his ways because they’ve gotten him this far. Cue Barrett who says that he respects Sheamusa bit but Sheamus needs to go for the Raw title. Sheamus says he was thinking about Orton beating Barrett all over the ring last week.

Cue Cody who says he knows what it’s like to be a champion. The Chamber is a tax on the mind and he’s the strongest mentally of all of them. He’ll be a double champion as well. Here’s Big Show who says he won’t tell Sheamus what to do. He will however tell Cody to shut up. Show won’t make promises about the Chamber but asks Sheamus to think about facing him at Mania for the title.

Barrett cuts Show off and calls him a Wrestlemania punchline because Snooki has a better record at Wrestlemania than Big Show. Cody calls him the reverse Undertaker. Show takes him down and a brawl erupts. Sheamus and Show clear the ring. Gee, I wonder if we’ll have a tag match for later?

Great Khali vs. Jinder Mahal

Mahal does a ceremonial headware removal thing. Total domination by Khali as he wins with the Punjabi Plunge in 2:05. See, this is what they should have been doing to build to the Chamber: have the participants beat up jobbers. As in, you know, having jobbers do what they’re supposed to do.

We get a video of Teddy indefinitely suspending Henry last week.

In the back, Aksana and Teddy do their usual thing with Aksana kissing Teddy on the cheek. Bryan comes in and doesn’t like what he sees. Aksana leaves and Bryan goes on a rant about the barbecue that Teddy held earlier. He talks about how it was dead animal flesh and charred meat. Teddy: “I put some of JR’s barbecue sauce on it. Tasted fine to me.” Bryan says that makes him sick so Teddy says stop trying to get out of facing Orton tonight.

Beth Phoenix vs. Alicia Fox

Beth sits on the ropes and tells Alicia to get out of her ring. Fox takes her to the corner but Beth shoves her away. Alicia tries a Matrix move but gets sledged down. Glam Slam pins her at 1:17.

Phoenix loads up another Glam Slam but Tamina runs out and stares at her for the save. Beth seems happy to finally have a challenger.

Another way too long video about how awesome Rock is.

More of the very stupid Natalya gimmick. I’m not going to bother going into what it is because it’s that awful.

Big Show/Sheamus vs. Wade Barrett/Cody Rhodes

The entrances are out of order for some reason, as it goes Show, Rhodes, Barrett, Sheamus. Show vs. Rhodes gets us going and Show barks him into tagging. Barrett gets tossed in and chopped to the floor so it’s back to Cody. Show loads up the right hand so Cody bails to the corner. Off to Barrett vs. Sheamus with Sheamus running him over very easily.

Barrett gets in a knee and tags Cody back in. The IC Champion has as much success as he did before as Sheamus throws him outside. We take a break and come back with Cody getting beaten up again. The rolling fireman’s carry slam gets two. The heels finally double team Show down with some High/Low action. A missile dropkick gets two for Cody. A chinlock is easily broken but Barrett chop blocks Show to break up the tag.

Barrett chinlocks him but Show just stands up and breaks it up with a ram into the corner. Cody comes in with the Beautiful Disaster for two before Show can make the tag. Show breaks up a chinlock and makes the tag to Sheamus. A pair of Brogue Kicks later and Sheamus gets the pin on Barrett at 9:24 shown of 12:54.

Rating: C. Not bad for a main event style tag match, but it sums up the problem with Big Show: there aren’t very many ways to make an attack on him believable. It’s the same problem that Bryan has had: no matter what he does, Show can shrug it off and hit one big punch to end a match. He works better as a heel in that regard, as most monsters do because it means you can see someone slay the giant.

Here’s AJ who says she should be back in a few weeks and competing in the spring. She thanks people who supported her….and Cole goes into jerk mode, talking about how no one knows who she is. Cole asks about Monday where Big Show almost ran her over again. AJ says it was an accident, but it’s been Cole that has made things worse than anyone else. He’s never believed in Bryan and he’s stirred things up.

AJ rips into Cole and says that the WWE would be a better place if he would just shut his mouth. Cole argues back and says everyone is saying that Bryan set AJ up to get hurt. Cole will be in his glory when Bryan loses. Cue Bryan who yells at Cole and then says that on Sunday, he took a nature walk instead of eating a bunch of meat and beer. After so many people did that, how many of them recycled? He cares about future generations and he cares about AJ. Due to the people being so mean to her, Bryan is leaving the arena to take AJ home. They’ll be leaving in a Prius as well.

They leave and Cole goes on a rant about Bryan. Is Cole supposed to be a face or a heel? I really don’t think they have any idea anymore either. Booker defends Bryan….I think?

Bryan and AJ are in the back and start to leave when Teddy comes up. He says he’ll be glad to find transportation for AJ, but if Bryan leaves he’ll be stripped of the title.

Ted DiBiase vs. Hunico

DiBiase still has a cast on his wrist which is now a hard cast instead of the soft one he had two weeks ago. DiBiase fights with the right arm and knocks Hunico to the floor with a clothesline. Camacho distracts Ted a bit and Hunico gets him to the floor and rams the bad wrist into the post. Hunico throws on a few submissions but DiBiase rolls him up as he tries a cross armbreaker for the pin at 2:42.

Don’t be a bully.

Video on the Chamber and how it leads to Wrestlemania.

We get an interview with Johnny Ace from Abu Dhabi where he says WWE is awesome and that’s about it.

Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton

Big Show is on commentary for this. This is their first meeting according to Cole. They jockey for position to start and Randy controls with an armbar. Bryan comes back with some offense of his own but no one can get a clear advantage. Randy heads to the floor and shoots a glare at Big Show. Bryan hits a baseball slide and the running knee off the apron to take Randy down and we take a break.

Back with Bryan working on the arm but Randy countering into the backbreaker to cause the separation. Bryan gets another shot into the arm but as he goes up, Randy crotches him. A superplex is broken up but Bryan’s top rope splash misses. Orton comes back with his powerslam but the elevated DDT is countered by a high kick. Bryan goes up and is crotched again and this time the superplex works, getting two.

Orton starts the Stomp as Cole asks Big Show how many Wrestlemania matches he’s won. Booker: “Will you just hit him in the mouth please?” Bryan comes back and hits a running dropkick in the corner. A bunch of kicks hit but Bryan gets rolled up for two. The rollup is countered into a LeBell Lock attempt but Randy counters that into a slingshot to send Bryan to the apron. Elevated DDT looks to set up the RKO but Bryan heads to the apron. He rolls to the floor and shoves Big Show, drawing the DQ at 10:05 shown of 13:35.

Rating: B. I was really getting into this match by the end. Orton seemingly can’t have a bad match anymore and Bryan is really getting better when he’s against normal sized guys like Orton here and Punk from a few weeks ago on Raw. The ending is fine because Bryan is afraid to get beaten or fight himself, but it’s getting old to see that every week.

Orton gets in Show’s face and Show shoves him. A big brawl ends the show as Bryan smiles. Cole gets the famous line of “it’s breaking loose in Tulsa” wrong by saying “it’s breaking down in Tulsa.” I’ve never heard the second of those but maybe it’s a correct one.

Overall Rating: B-. They’re in buildup mode for the Chamber and that’s what they needed to do. Everyone in the chamber was in action tonight and we have Bryan looking like a puppet master out there, which is something that he needs to be rather than the plucky babyface that escapes with the title. Good show, but not as good as Smackdown is capable of.

Results
Great Khali b. Jinder Mahal – Punjabi Plunge
Beth Phoenix b. Alicia Fox – Glam Slam
Big Show/Sheamus b. Cody Rhodes/Wade Barrett – Brogue Kick to Sheamus
Ted DiBiase b. Hunico – Rollup
Daniel Bryan b. Randy Orton via DQ when Big Show interfered

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Clash of the Champions Count-Up – #3: My Goodness Barry Windham Was Awesome In The 80s

Clash of the Champions 3: Fall Brawl
Date: September 7, 1988
Location: Albany Civic Center, Albany, Georgia
Attendance: 3,700
Commentators: Jim Ross, Bob Caudle

This is roughly the 837th show called Fall Brawl out of about 3847 of them. It’s late 88 and therefore this is a tricky show to call. The main event is Sting vs. Windham which should be awesome. This is one of the odd 90 minutes shows, making it about 75 minutes on the commercial free version. There isn’t anything special coming up as Starrcade was in December. This is just a show and on paper it could go either way. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Sting being so close before but losing at the very last moment. Oh and he’s fighting Windham, a Horseman, in the main event. That’s about all there is here.

TV Title: Mike Rotunda vs. Brad Armstrong

Rotunda was a mega heel at this point and the champion. He’s considered unbeatable in 20 minutes. He’s the leader of the Varsity Club at this point. We take a break and come back for the opening bell. I think this was broadcast live. Rotunda takes him to the mat early and stalls a lot. Armstrong wakes up and sends Rotunda to the floor where he wants time out.

He speeds things up and gets a dropkick to Rotunda for two. That was a nice flurry for him and it’s another great moment of Armstrong that you don’t often get to see. We take a break with Rotunda getting back in. Back with Rotunda getting a knee to the ribs and taking over. Sullivan adds some cheating on the floor as Rotunda stalls. For once though that makes sense as he wants to burn off as much of that time limit as he could.

Suplex back in over the ropes gets two for the champion. The kickout gets a nice pop too. People were dying to see Rotunda lose and when he finally did the explosion is great. Chinlock goes on but Armstrong hangs on. Armstrong Georgias Up but gets knocked right back down. There’s a “That’s the Night That They Drove Old Dixie Down” joke somewhere in there.

Back to the chinlock as we’re wasting time, which like I said makes sense in this case. Here comes Armstrong who gets some shots in but runs into a clothesline for a long two. The crowd is eating this up with a spoon mind you. Just after the kickout we take another break. They do those very abruptly on this show.

Back with another chinlock and now Steve Williams, former member of the Varsity Club, playing cheerleader at ringside. Rotunda goes way old school with an airplane spin but he goes down too. Two minutes left as the ending is very clear here. Armstrong gets the left shoulder up and the fans are literally standing. To his credit Rotunda goes for the pins still with a small package at one minute to go. There seems to be an incentive to Armstrong lasting here. Naturally he does and for some reason it’s a huge deal. Apparently this is a huge underdog story or something. Williams comes in to celebrate.

Rating: D+. This is a fine example of a match where long does not mean good. This was mainly chinlock which is never a recipe for something good. Armstrong would get a lot better and Rotunda would lose very soon. This wasn’t much, but Armstrong is a guy I could watch for days so I can’t complain here. Still though, kind of weak. Ok maybe I can complain a little.

We see Jimmy Garvin getting a cinderblock dropped on his leg to end the Garvins vs. Varsity Club feud. Garvin would be gone for months.

Nikita Koloff/Steve Williams vs. The Sheepherders

The sheep dudes are of course the Bushwhackers and are absolutely insane here. This is a challenge match of some sort. Koloff is over here as is Williams. Williams gets taken to the corner and fights them off so Koloff and Williams have a standoff with the evildoers and are like BRING IT ON. It’s a shame Williams turned face. As a heel he was more or less the Brock Lesnar of his day.

Doc (Williams’ nickname, short for Dr. Death) runs over both guys like they’re not even there. We talk about the Midnight Express vs. the Horsemen. This was the top tag feud at the time and would be done in less than ten days with the titles changing hands at a house show and never being mentioned again as the Horsemen went to the WWF and wouldn’t be seen for 2-3 years and Blanchard more or less never wrestling again other than once a year at legends shows. Great thing to push no? This was when Crockett was selling to Turner so everything was completely up in the air if you couldn’t tell that.

Koloff runs them out of the ring with ease as well. It should be noted that the Sheepherders have a flag bearer named Rip Morgan who is more or less just a lackey. Williams hits a clothesline to send Luke to the floor. This has been domination. Doc crushes Luke (who is called Luke Williams here so it’s a bit confusing. If I say Williams I only mean Steve) with a top rope cross body for two.

Koloff in now and then back to Williams. This has to shift control soon here. Doc works on Luke’s arm and then it’s back off to Koloff who works on it as well. Ah there’s a thumb to the eye to break the momentum which lasts about 3 seconds as it’s back to Doc. Williams gets a running charge but his shoulder hits the post as I think we have our face in peril as we take a break.

Back with Williams no selling punches from Luke. Butch comes in from behind to take Doc down again as we hit the chinlock. Now let’s talk about the tag titles again. Williams causes some heel miscommunication and it’s off to Koloff. The flag bearer hits Koloff in the back and the heels take over one more time. Luke hits a middle rope headbutt for two. Butch spits at Williams, allowing double teaming to occur.

Koloff kicks out of an elbow. The crowd is white hot here which is a good sign for later on in the night. Koloff stands up and uses the power of Communism or something to…get beaten down by a punch from Luke. There’s a sleeper by Luke to fill some time. Ross really likes reminding us that the Sheepherders have been partners for ten years. We hit the fifteen minute mark as Koloff breaks the hold.

Luke keeps hammering away on him as the rest that Koloff got didn’t last very long. Koloff is like screw it and punches the heck out of Luke. The flag bearer hits Williams in the back with the flag so there’s no Doc for Nikita to tag. Luke misses a top rope headbutt and there’s Doc for a tag and a ROAR. Morgan, the flag dude, is in there now too. Doc gets chop blocked when setting for a slam. Back to Koloff who ENDS Butch with a Russian Sickle (clothesline with the arm hooked at an angle) for the pin. Sick clothesline.

Rating: B-. Better match than the first here which worked rather well. This was a formula tag match but the crowd carried this to a higher grade than it probably should get. The big power guys were awesome at their job of being the monsters that the crowd was going to pop for. Also that clothesline was great. I usually don’t like simple moves like those as finishers but this was one of those times where if he had kicked out it would have been awful. This was Nikita’s last match for almost three years as his wife was very sick and he stopped to be with her.

Dusty Rhodes vs. Kevin Sullivan

This is a grudge match for no apparent reason. Dusty’s booking around this time was uh….bad. Basically he made Russo in 2000 look like Jim Cornette with whatever roster and money he wanted complete with mind control powers to keep people from arguing. Sullivan is completely insane at this point and more or less turning into a demonic character. This became very fun when the Road Warriors took turns beating the living heck out of him. I’d assume this is for JUSTICE or something like that.

Dusty hammers away to start and we hit the floor almost immediately where Dusty hammers him towards the announce table. All Dusty to start here. He rams Kevin into the table a bunch of times then throws him into Gary Hart, Sullivan’s manager. Sullivan has something made of metal in the ring so Dusty chills on the floor. My guess is he’s looking for a taco.

Kevin slaps away at Dusty’s chest but the power of fat jiggling stops any pain. Dusty hammers him out to the floor and then does the same in the corner. A bunch of elbows follow but Sullivan gets a shot to the throat which sends Dusty spiraling out of control. Out to the floor goes the fat boy and Hart hits him in the head with his shoe.

Back in and it’s a chinlock. Hart distracts the referee so Sullivan can use a spike that he’s been known to use in the past. Hey look it’s more chinlock! We talk about Jimmy Garvin getting hurt by Sullivan and the feud with the Garvins vs. Sullivan. Dusty gets a low blow to break the hold and here comes Dusty.

Sullivan tries the spike again but Dusty steals it to drill him in the head. The referee is like whatever man and counts anyway but Hart makes the save. Dusty goes after Hart but Al Perez runs out with a chain and drills Dusty which isn’t a DQ and the double team is on. Dusty gets a stupid spot as they try to double clothesline him with the chain so he dives on it and pulls them into each other. Then he pins Hart for the win. I give up.

Rating: D-. Yeah this was bad. The match made no sense, there might have been one wrestling move in there somewhere and no one could tell what was going on. Not to mention there were multiple interferences and Dusty pinned the manager to win. See what I meant about his booking being out there? Case in point, this next match.

Ah wait as we have to have a football player here. He’s refereeing an upcoming Flair vs. Luger title match. Flair comes out and humiliates him by just outthinking him in a funny bit that wasn’t supposed to be funny.

Ricky Morton vs. Ivan Koloff

It’s a chain match here as in the touch all four corners type. Yes this is another one of those matches/angles that made zero sense. It’s supposed to lead to a face turn for Ivan but no one cared and the whole point to it, his nephew Nikita saving him, meant nothing as Nikita had already left the arena so there was no one to help and get the angle over. Koloff overpowers him to start of course and uses the chain to clothesline him.

The announcers talk about how Jones (manager) had said Koloff was the weak link in the chain (get it?) and has to win here. Yeah think they’re giving it away easily enough? Koloff uses power to start as this is HIS match. And now we talk about the football player (John Ayers) and how he earned his reputation on a field, not by talking. Morton heads to the floor and pulls Ivan down to the mat.

Back in the ring now with Ricky in control. And never mind as it’s back to Ivan again. He gets two corners but Ricky hits him in the knee to break that up. Morton tries to drag him but Ivan is like “In Soviet Russia, opponent pulls you” and breaks that up. Ivan goes up but gets pulled down by the chain as we take a break. It never ceases to amaze me that Koloff is a former WWF Champion. That’s always odd to see. Back with Morton getting three but Jones holding out his riding crop for more leverage. Then he loses his grip and Ricky wins. Ok then.

Rating: D. Another weak match here and the only point was to set up the post match face turn by force. Jones and Koloff were completely worthless and some of the weakest heels of all time. This went nowhere at all and is a gimmick that I can’t stand anymore. It doesn’t prove anything and this was no exception. Bad match.

Koloff hits Jones post match but the Russian Assassin makes the save. Another runs out for the double beatdown as there’s no Nikita to save. They hang Koloff over the ropes so we take a break.

US Title: Sting vs. Barry Windham

This should be good. Ayers, the aforementioned football player, is doing commentary for this. Sting can wear yellow and be manly doing it. Sting gets some armdrags to frustrate Windham to start. Ayers hasn’t said a word yet. Wait is he on commentary or just at ringside? They speed things up and of course Sting wins that portion. Windham hids on the floor with JJ.

Back in and Windham gets a belly to back suplex which is no sold and Sting hits a pair of sweet dropkicks to send Windham back to the floor. Test of strength goes on and Windham kicks him in the gut to take over. Punches in the corner of course result in an atomic drop as this has been about 95% Sting. Sting gets the punches in the corner as I guess Windham didn’t learn a thing from moments ago.

Sting misses his big elbow as always and Windham takes over for real. Barry sends him to the floor where Windham hammers away. We talk about the Claw Hold of Windham’s which is something I’ve never been a fan of. Not Windham’s per se but the hold in general. Back in and Sting gets a sunset flip for two but that’s the end of his offense here.

Powerslam by Windham gets no cover. A falling punch gets two as Windham is in control. We’re ten minutes in now and Windham misses a splash in the corner so Sting shoves him over the top to the floor. Shouldn’t that be a DQ? We adjust the rules again because that’s not the finish. Sting rams Windham into various metal objects to bust him open. Into the table now as Windham looks gone.

Sting gets a dropkick but Windham is in the ropes. Sleeper by Sting and the champion is in trouble. Naturally it isn’t the finish but Sting holds it for a good while. Barry goes after the knee to escape and it’s a Figure Four. Barry shifted Sting’s torso to the middle of the ring before putting it on which is the sign of a great worker. Sting taps but that would mean waiting about six years before it meant anything in America.

Windham gets caught cheating and the hold has to be broken. Barry shifts over to a delayed belly to back suplex but here comes Sting on one leg. He manages a suplex but holds the knee afterwards. I can live with that I guess. Barry cops a feel of Sting’s chest. Oh wait it’s the claw. On Sting’s chest. Well sure why not. Sting hammers away to break it up. I guess he’s just not that kind of wrestler to let someone feel him up in their first match.

Sting slingshots Barry back in after he knocked him out to the floor a second ago. Since this is a major match we get a ref bump. See? It wasn’t just an Attitude Era thing. Stinger Splash hits and here comes the Scorpion but JJ brings in a chair which Barry drills Sting with. That gets two as John Ayers, the football player, comes in and stops the count, telling the referee what happened. Sting and Ayers pose to end the show.

Rating: B+. If this had anything resembling a good ending it’s pushing an A. These two had a 20 minute war out there with neither guybeing able to take over for the most part and it was very back and forth. Sting was awesome at this point and had it not been for Dusty losing his mind, Barry could have been the biggest star not named Hogan in the world. Anyway, this was a great match with a bad ending, which would become one of WCW’s trademarks.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a hard one to grade. It’s definitely more good than bad and the commercials hurt it a lot. The first match is certainly watchable and the tag is good. The two “special” matches more or less suck, but a great main event makes up for a lot of that. It’s one of the better shows in this series, but that’s not saying much. Anyway, decent show but other than the main event there’s nothing worth going out of your way to see. See the main event though.

 

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Clash of the Champions Count-Up – #2: How Can Sting/Rhodes vs. The Horsemen Be So Boring?

Clash of the Champions 2: Miami Mayhem
Date: June 8, 1988
Location: James L. Knight Center, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 2,400
Commentators: Bob Caudle, Tony Schiavone

It’s the second show in this series and the main event, while still a big match, isn’t quite Sting vs. Flair for the title. Instead Sting and Dusty are teaming up to take on Arn and Tully for the tag titles. They really didn’t know what they were doing yet with this stuff so it’s kind of hard to know what to expect. We’re building to Bash 88 here so there’s that to look forward to. Let’s get to it.

Various people are here, namely being “celebrities” that aren’t really celebrities.

Ah let’s make sure to talk about the NWA promoters because the NWA actually thinks that either they mean something or that anyone other than them cares.

It’s going to be really hard to take Tony seriously with that mustache. He and Bob run down the card.

US Title: Barry Windham vs. Brad Armstrong

Barry is champion here of course and would hold the title for about 9 months and is a Horseman here. Feeling out process to start as we look at a random sign in the audience instead of an armdrag by Brad. Now let’s look at Dillon in the middle of a move. Are these guys following the TNA playbook for camera cuts? Brad gets a slam and Barry chills on the floor a bit.

Headlock takeover by Brad as we hit the mat. After a solid sequence on the mat, Barry heads into the corner to hide as this is taking its sweet time. Windham starts using his power but can’t hit a big elbow. Crowd is red hot here. Off to the headlock to waste some time and QUIT CUTTING TO THE FREAKING CROWD!!! It’s like this show has ADD or something.

Big slam hits as this is almost all Armstrong. Off to another chinlock as they keep getting going and then stopping which is rather annoying. Windham gets out of the way and the Horseman takes over. Powerslam gets two. Figure four goes on because when you have a monster like Windham, the right thing is to have him use a submission hold on a body part he hasn’t touched all match. This is what we mean by bad psychology.

You know Teddy, if you actually watched the wrestlers you might see something happen. I guess he looks at Dillon’s hair and gets jealous or something. This hold goes on longer than should be humanly possible but that’s wrestling for you I guess. This hold has been on for over two minutes now. Windham is either really bad at this hold or Armstrong has legs of steel.

JJ tries to cheat for about the tenth time so the referee finally breaks it. Slam sets up Barry to go up top, only to miss a big elbow. Brad fires off and the fans are loving this. Top rope cross body gets two. Brad tries a second one but Barry rolls through it and grabs the Claw, his EVIL finisher, for the pin. That was a pretty sweet ending actually.

Rating: C+. Not bad here overall with the fans making this a lot better. The figure four in the middle kills it but the times where they were moving out there were really good. The ending helped it a lot as they needed a good ending to carry it through. Not a great match or anything but Armstrong rarely was bad and this was no exception.

Now it’s time for the show to grind to a screeching halt as we plug a sitcom about wrestling with a football player that will air this fall. It’s called Learning the Ropes which is about a teacher that moonlights as a wrestler and the NWA guys were on the show also. Now here are some of the issues: first of all the football player playing the main character stood about 6’7 and had a dark complexion (white, but with darker skin). He was played by the nearly pale and 6’1 Dr. Death Steve Williams for his matches as he wrestled in a mask as a jobber to the stars. Somehow, this lasted a whole season. The 80s never stop amazing me.

Anyway we’re told that the wrestlers are great athletes and how some of them are better athletes than the football players. We get a clip of the show which is more like a promo for it than a clip. This couldn’t be more 80s if they tried. Naturally this needs to be shown for so much time on Clash of the Champions right?

The Rock N Roll Express return to the company and will be at the Bash. They say they’re awesome.

We see Luger and Flair signing their contract for the title match on a yacht. There are a bunch of NWA guys in there and a bunch of business people that own the Chicago Blackhawks apparently. The NWA never quite got the idea of TV did they? The signing is nothing and they both say nothing of note. Total waste of time here.

The Horsemen arrive, 40 minutes into the show. Granted we’re just told this because we don’t need to see it right?

Back and the Horsemen haven’t arrived yet. Oh ok the Horsemen are but Flair is just getting here. THEN WHY ARE THEY ALL IN FLAIR’S LIMO??? Geez people figure out the basic stuff here. Flair says the Horsemen will keep the titles tonight.

US Tag Titles: Sheepherders vs. Fantastics

The Fantastics are champions here and are Bobby Fulton and Tommy Rogers. The Sheepherders would soon jump to the WWF and change their names to the Bushwhackers. Here though they’re insane heels and rather brutal. They have a flag bearer named Rip Morgan. Luger is just getting here so let’s cut to that before the match starts. The Horsemen jump him and annihilate him, ramming his head into the car and busting him open, which would play a big role in their title match.

Oh hey it’s time for the match. So were the wrestlers just chilling there? I’d bet on a tiddlywinks tournament. Rogers and Butch start us off. Off to Luke almost immediately who gets cross bodied for two. Off to Fulton and the beating begins. We get a weird moment where the Sheepherders can’t figure out who is legal so Fulton just stands there. Out to the floor and everything breaks down. Morgan gets a flag shot in so Fulton drills him.

Fulton vs. Luke in the ring now and Luke takes him down. In theory that is because the camera cut to the crowd to show us that there are in fact people still in the building. Rogers and Luke botch something completely and make what I think was supposed to be a crucifix almost a rollup. Rogers flips through a backdrop and lands on his feet. Everything breaks down again and the Fantastics clear the ring.

Butch vs. Rogers now with Butch taking over. It’s so weird to see him as an evil guy. Off to the chinlock which doesn’t last long. We hit an abdominal stretch as the Sheepherders cheat a lot. Rogers runs into a knee for two. The official time is all over the place as they go from start to five minutes in about four and from five to ten in about three. Fulton comes in and gets stomped down IMMEDIATELY.

Luke hammers away on Fulton as this has been one extreme to the other which is kind of a weird thing to see. Fulton fires back and takes Luke down a few times and knocks Butch down as well but it’s not enough for a tag yet. Here’s another weird part of the match as Fulton takes both Sheepherders down with a cross body and covers both guys. Rogers comes back in and covers both at once again with the referee seeming all cool with it. Both of the Fantastics keep covering both Sheepherders and everyone is cool with this. Weird indeed.

The Sheepherders bail for a bit as this has been more or less a mess. We get an actual tag by the Fantastics and Rogers works on Luke’s arm. Rogers gets knocked to the floor and might have hit his head. Butch throws him into the railing and Tommy takes a belt shot to the back. Where in the world is the referee during all this? After about 12 minutes of wrestling we’re told we’re 15 minutes in.

Chair to the back of Rogers with the referee like a foot away is missed as Rogers has been on the floor for like two minutes now. Back in and there’s STILL no referee for the cover. Heel miscommunication sees Butch hit Luke with a middle rope double axe handle. That goes nowhere because the Sheepherders won’t sell anything. Rogers gets a clothesline and that gets him nowhere at all AGAIN. Rogers rams their heads together and it’s off to Fulton. A rollup to Luke gets the pin that Butch probably broke it up anyway because they needed to end this I guess.

Rating: D. This was weird to say the least. They seemed rather confused out there and the Sheepherders wouldn’t sell a single thing. This would have been far better if they cut this down by about ten minutes but they have to have about 15 minutes a match in the NWA in this era. Not a good match at all which is rare for the Fantastics who I’m a fan of.

Dr. Death sits in on commentary for the next match. He rambles about Luger being awesome and sounds drunk.

Ronnie Garvin/Jimmy Garvin vs. Mike Rotundo/Rick Steiner

It’s Varsity Club time and the Gamesmaster Kevin Sullivan will be in a cage at ringside. There’s a big ordeal going on with the Garvin’s manager Precious and Sullivan which was never really resolved but was getting rather weird indeed. Just a grudge match here. Oh and Rotundo/a is the TV Champion. Steiner is the Florida champion which means nothing. He’s also a clueless putz.

Once again before the match we stop to talk about Luger and cut to Ross because that’s the guy we go to for a big moment I guess. And let’s just reair the thing because no one wants to see this tag match right? Back from a break and it’s a huge brawl. The Garvins hit a double sleeper on both guys before they get sent to the floor. The Varsity guys that is. Sullivan keeps looking at Precious and has something in his coat for her. They’re papers apparently. From what I understand this was supposed to result in an abortion storyline and that was WAY too hardcore for the 80s so it was dropped.

Ronnie gets two on Rick in the ring. Jimmy gets a hammerlock on Rick as we talk about Luger even more. There’s talk of the Tower of Doom which was one of if not the biggest mess you’ll ever see. Sullivan keeps pulling out papers that he wants to show Precious who keeps staring her down and she agrees to something or other. Oh and there’s a tag match going on too.

She has the key to the cage apparently. Rotundo works on Ronnie’s arm as Williams says he’s going to wrestle Rotundo later. Jimmy keeps running off to fight Sullivan even though he’s in a cage. The Varsity guys keep working on Ronnie’s arm as the match means nothing at all. Jimmy finally comes in and beats on Rick for a bit but that might be too interesting so let’s go with a front facelock for awhile.

This is an incredibly boring match as just like almost every match so far tonight they’ve been given way too much time. This is a two hour show and there are five matches. Since there are very few entrances and more or less no long term promos, there’s way too much time in these matches. Ronnie rolls up Rick for two. Off to Rotundo and since Garvin is the worst former world champion ever, Rotundo takes over with relative ease.

The Varsity Club works over Ron as we see Sullivan with the paper again. This needs to end and it needs to end very soon. The tag rope is used to choke Ron and he gets sent to the floor. Everything breaks down again and it’s Rick vs. Jimmy in the ring. Precious goes over to Sullivan who steals the key. Jimmy hits a brainbuster to win over Rick and Precious goes for the papers. Sullivan goes after her and Steve Williams makes the save.

Rating: D. Another match that is boring and way too long, although to be fair with the story being Precious and Sullivan there’s only so much that they can do. Not an interesting match as if you’re going to have a match as a backdrop for a story, don’t have the match be nearly 15 minutes long. Didn’t work at all.

Post match Precious pushes Jimmy away and leaves on her own. To say this was a mess was an understatement.

Road Warriors vs. Powers of Pain in a scaffold match is announced. This would never happen as the Powers jumped to the WWF because they didn’t want to have a scaffold match due to fear of that pesky death thing.

We talk about the Tower of Doom now because we need to waste more time I guess.

Al Perez vs. Nikita Koloff

Koloff you’ve probably heard of. Perez is a heel that is of no consequence for the most part. This is a challenge/grudge match or something like that. They stare each other down for awhile and Nikita shoves him around a lot. Nikita dominates here in one of the least interesting matches I’ve ever seen. The announcers just talk about the Horsemen to fill in time.

Gary Hart, Perez’s manager, interferes and Perez takes over for a bit. This is one of those matches that just keeps going and going with no one caring in the slightest. Hart interferes again and this keeps staying in first gear at best. After Nikita stays on the floor for a bit we hit the chinlock back in the ring. Camel clutch goes on and Koloff gets an electric chair drop to escape.

Koloff is knocked to the floor again because we haven’t been out there long enough in this never ending match yet right? Perez can’t suplex him so Nikita gets one of his own. Nikita makes his comeback and hammers away in the corner before he sends Perez to the floor. And here’s Larry Zbyszko to run in for the DQ and triple beatdown.

Rating: F. End this show already. Another boring match here with a stupid ending that was given about 8 minutes too long which makes the wrestling really boring in the process. This feud of course went nowhere and no one cared, but that’s the NWA for you. No wonder they went out of business.

World Tag Titles: Tully Blanchard/Arn Anderson vs. Sting/Dusty Rhodes

No entrance for the champions. Sting and Arn to start with Sting frustrating him badly. Sting works on the arm as we praise Dusty for no apparent reason. Off to Tully and Sting abuses him a bit too. Dusty, the STAR here I guess, comes in and beats on Tully a bit also. Tully does his usual great selling and it’s time for a figure four by Dusty who of course butchers the thing.

Arn gets a shot in and the Horsemen take over. Clothesline takes Tully down. Oh wait he’s from Texas so it’s a lariat. Off to Sting who cleans a few rooms. He tries the Scorpion on Blanchard but the Horsemen fight him off and send him into the post on the floor. Arn misses a Vader Bomb but Tully stops the tag.

Time to work on the arm which is pure Horsemen to put it mildly. Arn DDTs him on the floor which should kill Sting but JJ throws him back in. Nice guy that JJ. In an unintentionally funny spot, a DDT on the floor gets a one count. That’s just amusing. Backslide gets two for Sting and it’s a collision with him and Tully. Tag off to Dusty and everything breaks down. Dusty shoves the referee and the whole thing is thrown out as Windham, Rhodes’ future opponent, runs in to put the Claw on Dusty. The Horsemen beat down everyone and stand tall to end the show.

Rating: D+. This was just there and another thrown out ending makes my eyes roll a lot. Sting wouldn’t do much for the rest of the year and Dusty would of course get a title somehow. Flair would hold the title forever and this whole feud with Luger would drag on for years with Luger never getting the pin over Flair. Almost a token main event here which isn’t a good thing at all.

Overall Rating: D-. Oh jeez this got bad in a hurry. The last hour is just mind numbingly uninteresting. Nothing really happens here and there are no long term implications of anything really. The Bash had nothing of note happening on it either as the champions were all the same by Starrcade. Weak show and a bad followup to the great first edition of this. The same problem runs through this whole show: WAY too long matches because the NWA thought long meant good, which was rarely the case.

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NWA World Wide – January 15, 1985 – I’m Very Impressed

NWA World Wide
Date: January 15, 1985
Location: Memorial Auditorium, Spartanburg, South Carolina
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, David Crockett

This is another one of those shows that I’ll have some random but some regular reviews up of. The NWA had probably about 4-5 different shows at a time and this was one of the lower level ones. We’re in the mid 80s here so I’d bet on a lot of Dusty and a lot of Flair, plus a lot of squashes. The Horsemen aren’t around yet. Let’s get to it.

A plane lands and a guy in a Rolls Royce is happy to see it. That might be Tully Blanchard but I’m not sure.

Here’s the opening which has some very perky music.

Dusty Rhodes is with David Crockett and Dusty has $10,000 in bags. He’s willing to put this up against Tully Blanchard anywhere anytime. This would actually result in a ladder match.

Manny Fernandez vs. Doug Vines

Manny is one half of the tag champions and comes out to Beat It by Michael Jackson. Yeah the music license issues were a little less insane back then. Manny fires off some dropkicks and drives knees into the ribs. Total domination and the flying forearm and a top rope knee drop ends this.

Buzz Tyler says he wants to look at a clip of Black Bart ripping up a shirt. The shirt had been a gift so this was a big deal. The evil is going to come out in him and it’s coming for Bart.

Dick Slater vs. Inferno

Inferno is a masked guy in a red bodysuit. Slater throws him to the floor and the fans want the mask off. Suplex back in gets no cover. Swinging neckbreaker puts Inferno down and Slater goes for the mask. JJ Dillon and I think Terry Funk get on commentary. Yeah it’s Funk and he wants to make sure the money is ready for whatever. Dillon says it’s for a job of some sort and JJ says there’s no time frame but time is money. It’s to get rid of Dick Slater apparently. Funk comes in and Slater throws Inferno to the floor for the DQ. Match was just here to get us to the post match stuff.

The Long Riders (Black Bart/Ron Bass) come in as well and it’s a three on one beating. Funk piledrives Slater and chokes him with a belt. A bunch of guys come in but get beaten down as well. Tyler, Fernandez, Rhodes and Magnum come in and that’s enough to clear the ring.

There’s a show in Greensboro so we hear about the people that are going to be there. We get that for a few other shows too. The Long Riders come in and talk about a match in Roanoke for the tag titles against Rhodes/Fernandez. The Koloffs say Nikita is too strong for Don Kernoodle.

We go back to the airport and that was Blanchard. The person on the plane was the woman he called his perfect 10 who is debuting here. It’s the debuting Baby Doll and they kiss. This is set to music.

Assassin #1/Steve Casey vs. Jeff Sword/Ben Alexander

Assassin starts and I have no idea which jobber is which. We’ll say that’s Sword. Off to Casey and Alexander with the jobbers being in trouble early. Sword in now and he does just about as well. Casey pins him with an airplane spin and a Samoan Drop. More squashification.

The Koloffs are happy about winning some World Cup or something. Krusher Khruschev is coming. Oh he’s already here and has attacked Steamboat.

Wahoo McDaniel is ready for Flair and is going to win the world title.

Time for Billy Graham (the Kung Fu Fighter) to try the full nelson challenge. He’ll be using the hold and Starship Eagle (Dan Spivey) will have thirty seconds to break it for $1,000. Graham can’t get it on full but Spivey can’t break it anyway. No brawl or anything, the time just ends.

Wahoo says he’ll be defending the US Title everywhere. He doesn’t have much to say here.

Long Riders vs. Denny Brown/Tommy Lane

Bart vs. Brown starts us off. Bart is the Mid-Atlantic Champion, Brown is the World Junior Heavyweight Champion and the Long Riders are Mid-Atlantic Tag Champions. Man that’s a lot of gold in one match. Bart powerslams him for the pin very quickly. This might have lasted a minute.

More house show ads and Kernoodle says he’ll win the flag match. Flair says Wahoo is great but when a guy like Wahoo has to sneak up on him, that says a lot. Flair will get just as mean as Wahoo if he has to.

JJ tells Funk that he doesn’t like him. Funk says he only wrestles for JJ and Crockett on occasion. He wrestles for himself. Terry only cares about making money. He didn’t like Rhodes coming in either.

TV Title: Tully Blanchard vs. Mike Davis

This is for the title and $10,000 of Tully’s money. Kernoodle jumps in on commentary and says he’ll win the flag match. He promises a surprise and Davis works on the arm to send Tully out to the floor. Tully goes to the floor to get a breather but he comes back in and the arm works continues. Davis slams him and the place is erupting. He ducks his head though and Tully grabs a DDT style move and the slingshot suplex keeps the belt on him.

Rating: C. Better match than I was expecting here and it did exactly what it needed to do. The fans were getting into this because they wanted to see Tully lose so badly. The money thing was a nice touch as I think Tully wins ten grand every time he wins also. Anyway, this was better than I expected.

Tully introduces Baby Doll who says there’s only one man.

Overall Rating: B. I’m starting to get why the NWA was so wildly popular around this time. This was an AWESOME show with a bunch of angles, promos and matches packed into a single hour. Nothing is bad, the matches go by fast, and you get a lot of stuff done in this amount of time. I’m very impressed.

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Clash of the Champions #28 – People Say Cena Is Superman?

Clash of the Champions #28
Date: August 28, 1994
Location: Five Seasons Center, Cedar Rapids, Iowa
Attendance: 4,200
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

We continue our march through the final Clashes with the final one I have to go chronologically. The main event here is what else: Hogan vs. Flair for the title. Hogan had come in back during the summer and everything they had going had been thrown out for the sake of pushing Hogan (and his friends soon after) to the freaking moon. Also for no apparent reason, Antonio Inoki is on the card here. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video from Bash at the Beach where Hogan won the title in his first match. Heenan: “Tell me it’s a nightmare!”

The opening video is all Hogan vs. Flair and it’s one of those weird remixes where they say a word like five times in a row before continuing the sentence. Flair has a surprise tonight.

Austin and Steamboat are arguing in the back. Call the Hotline to see why! I’m not kidding: that’s what they say.

Here’s the National Anthem. The guy gets the words wrong. He’s a country singer because that’s all WCW knows about.

Nasty Boys vs. Pretty Wonderful

Pretty Wonderful are tag champions and Orndorff/Roma. This is non-title though. This is a grudge match as a result of a big brawl where Pretty Wonderful hit Knobbs with a crutch. Pretty Wonderful stalls and the fans like the Nasties a lot better. Tony says a lot of big stars aren’t here tonight for some reason. Gee that makes me want to watch more of this show. Brian and Paul start but it’s off to Sags quickly.

Roma tries a top rope cross body but is easily caught in a slam. They be clubberin Tony! Out to the floor and Orndorff chokes away a bit on Jerry to take over. Tony goes into a big thing about how WCW listens to the fans and Heenan says wrestling is cool again because WCW is number one. Yeah when I see Paul Orndorff and Paul Roma as tag team champions in 1994 and hear about the debuting Honky Tonk Man, I think it’s cool.

Sags is knocked to the floor and holds his eye for awhile. I guess this show is so cool it burns his retinas. Orndorff hooks a chinlock and this match sucks. Knobbs tries to come in without a tag and the champs double team. Orndorff calls for a piledriver but Sags is too fat. Off to Knobbs and everything breaks down. Roma hits a top rope splash on Knobbs and Sags hits a top rope elbow on Orndorff and the Nasties (with the illegal man getting the pin) win.

Rating: D-. Pretty Wonderful was just AWFUL so they kept the titles for about half of the year. The Nasties were just kind of there until we got to a better team really late in the year in the form of Harlem Heat thank goodness. The match was junk, but did you really expect anything else?

Hulk says to call Hulk’s Hotline.

Here’s Hogan but a guy pops up behind him with a pipe and hits him in the knee before anything is said. Hogan uses the Mr. Nanny acting skills to say his knee is really hurt. It takes awhile to get him out. Eric is there too and we hear that he’s Executive VP. I didn’t know they had revealed that this early.

US Title: Ricky Steamboat vs. Steve Austin

Austin is champion and he already beat Steamboat via some circumstances (Austin got DQ’d, Steamboat insisted they keep going, Austin pinned him) at Bash at the Beach so this is the second match. We go split screen to see Hogan leave in the ambulance. Ricky takes him to the mat quickly and Austin complains of a hair pull. That brings a smile to my face due to the future.

Austin has Dragon Slayer on his tights. If Austin gets disqualified, he loses the title. We stop commentary on the match while a stage manager gives Heenan a live report of what happened to Hogan. We’ll ignore the fact that everyone could see it and point out that WE CAN’T HEAR HIM! He’s whispering in Bobby’s ear (and I know because the camera went off the match to look at him doing so), making this totally pointless.

They chop it out and Steamboat takes over. He grabs the arm as Heenan rants about how he wouldn’t care if Hogan can ever wrestle again. We get a SWEET pinfall reversal sequence and Ricky grabs the arm once again. We finally see this loudmouthed fan that the announcers have been complaining about all night. It’s Barry “Smash” Darsow as the new character the Blacktop Bully. He was a truck driver and a bully. And people wonder why this company was always struggling.

Tony says Austin has held the title since December of 1983, or about 11 years at this point. It’s more like 9 months and December of 93 but you can’t expect him to be able to tell time or complicated things like that. After a quick chase on the floor, Steamboat hooks a sleeper but Austin kind of drops down and drives Steamboat’s chin into his shoulder. I’d jot that down if I was him.

We hear that Sting who was in Chicago, has chartered a plane and is on his way here and will wrestle in Hogan’s place if need be. Ricky stays on the arm and hits a top rope chop. Back to the Bully shouting as Austin apparently counters with something. We didn’t get to see it but why would we need to do that? They fight from their knees and Austin grabs a chinlock.

They chop it out again and Steamboat hits a double to take over. They chop it out for the third or fourth time and Austin hits a suplex. A second is blocked and Steamboat puts him on the ropes. The cameras glitch so we get a random shot of the entrance. Austin knocks him back to the mat but gets crotched. Ricky loads up a superplex but Austin hits a release forward suplex.

He comes off the top but gets caught and Steamboat makes his comeback. I’m not sure how much of a comeback it can be after such a short time on defense but whatever. Top rope crossbody gets canvas and here’s more Blacktop Bully. Steamboat Hulks Up and hammers away. A spinebuster gets two. Austin goes up but gets caught in an electric chair drop for another two.

This is getting really good. A few pinning combinations get two for Steamboat. Austin dumps him over but Steamboat holds the rope. If he had hit the floor it would have been a title change. Austin goes to slam him BUT YOU CAN’T SLAM RICKY STEAMBOAT!!! Ricky gets his small package and the US Title.

Rating: B. Very good match here which is even more impressive when you consider Steamboat destroyed his back in this match and had to retire before he defended the title. Austin was supposed to get a rematch at Fall Brawl but since Steamboat was hurt, Austin was awarded the title and Jim freaking Duggan of all people took the title from him in about 45 seconds. But Hogan never did anything bad for WCW and it was just a coincidence that a washed up guy like Duggan got the US Title over someone young and talented like Austin and that Duggan just happened to be a friend of Duggan right?

Eric doesn’t know anything at the hospital but Hogan said it felt like something tore. Heenan couldn’t be happier.

Here’s a music video for a guy arriving soon: the Honky Tonk Man. It would be guys like him and Duggan and Orndorff that were pushed instead of guys like Austin and Foley and Pillman and others like that. This song couldn’t be more of a ripoff of his old song if they tried. WWF song lyrics: “I pick a mean guitar, I wear the blue suede shoes, you ought to hear me sing the snakeskin blues.” WCW song lyrics: “I play a mean guitar, I play the rhythm and blues, you better not step on Honky’s blue suede shoes.” The music sounds almost EXACTLY the same too. Jimmy Hart wrote both too.

Nick Bockwinkle says Hogan will have to forfeit the title if he’s not here later.

We recap the Rhodes Family vs. the Stud Stable. The idea here is that Dustin has feuded with Colonel Parker’s stable forever and needs a partner. For some reason that no one has ever come up with a reason for other than Dustin is an idiot, he asked Arn Anderson. You know, the guy who is most famous for BREAKING DUSTIN’S DADDY’S LEG. As anybody with enough common sense to say that putting your face in a fire is a bad idea, Anderson turned on him and joined Parker after about 5 minutes.

So one night Dustin was talking about needing a partner and Dusty came out. They had a strained relationship because Dusty was never around because he was off being a famous wrestling cowboy. Dusty uses the same line of Dustin offering up his innocence and being paid back in scorn that he used when Sapphire turned on him. I don’t really know what it means but I don’t know what Dusty means most of the time. Dusty offered to be Dustin’s partner and Dustin hugged him to say yes. I’ll give Dusty this: the man could talk like few others ever could.

Dusty Rhodes/Dustin Rhodes vs. Bunkhouse Buck/Terry Funk

It’s a brawl to start of course and Funk brings in a chair. The younger guys, Dustin and Buck, start us off which is probably a good thing. Off to Funk who is quickly knocked to the floor. Off to Dusty who gets a big reaction. An elbow puts Buck down and Funk wants in. Back to Dustin and everything breaks down. Some heel miscommuncation puts the heels down but Dustin is knocked the to the floor. Here’s Anderson and Dusty is in trouble. That doesn’t last long as Dustin comes back in and hits clotheslines for everyone. Bulldog takes Buck down and Arn runs in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Pretty boring match here but this was more about setting up WarGames. Yes, THIS was what they used for WarGames. Not Flair and company vs. Hogan and company. Hogan didn’t even wrestle at the show. Dusty was there for nostalgia purposes and that’s about it. Nothing to see here and it was a really boring feud all around.

Post match Dusty cleans house but Parker’s bodyguard Meng comes in. Dusty thinks about hitting him then thinks about an elbow but then says wait a minute. He goes outside and gets a wooden chair which he breaks over Meng’s head. Meng doesn’t move and hooks a nerve hold as the Stud Stable leaves the Rhodes boys laying.

We go back to the hospital and Hogan’s lawyer has advised him to relinquish the title. He’ll get the first title shot in exchange. Hogan won’t listen of course so apparently he’ll try to wrestle. Hart and Brutus come up and say Hogan is going to do what he wants.

Flair does one of his usual ranting and screaming promos about how he wants the title handed to him by Hogan. Flair had been doing really well as the face champion but Hogan was here so they turned him into a psycho heel which made him look like an idiot, because Hogan can’t lose right?

Hogan is on his way back here. Oh joy. Heenan PANICS.

Steven Regal vs. Antonio Inoki

This is based on the idea that Inoki is having his Final Countdown retirement tour and got a plaque in WCW. Regal protested so here’s a match. I don’t think anyone really got the point of this. Inoki fires off kicks as Tony butchers the name of Rikidozan. They go to the corner and I don’t think anyone knows who Inoki is. This is a very technical/foreign style match which means it means nothing to most American fans.

Regal hits a headbutt and they go to the mat with Regal dominating. Inoki heads to the floor and Regal won’t let him back in. This is really not working at all. The fans are quiet so Tony plugs Fall Brawl a bit. Inoki grabs the arm and Hogan is back at the arena. They go to the mat for a leg lock and I really can’t tell who is in control. Bockwinkle comes out and Inoki uses a blatant choke to take over. Regal kicks away and the announcers are talking about Hogan. This has been about 90% strikes. Butterfly suplex gets two for Regal. Inoki throws on another choke and Regal is out as Heenan freaks again.

Rating: F. This isn’t wrestling. I don’t know why it happened or why Regal, the TV Champion, was choked out this fast. This didn’t work at all and no one knew who Inoki was. “But KB he’s a legend and you have to respect him.” Or I could watch people have entertaining matches and have a point to being here. Just a thought.

WCW World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Ric Flair

Flair says give me my title. Hogan takes awhile to get there and then charges right at Flair. Now before I get into this, remember that Hogan allegedly has a severe knee injury and is fighting RIC FLAIR. Hogan takes him down and shrugs off a chop. The shirt is shoved down Flair’s throat and Hogan bites the forehead. Heenan advises Flair to go for the knee so they go to the floor where Flair chops him.

Hogan is limping a bit but other than that looks fine. Back in the ring and Hogan keeps beating on him with what appears to be the robe. Flair pokes him in the eye, snapmares him down….and goes up. Like I said, Flair was made to look like an idiot at this point. Flair is knocked to the floor again as this is a total squash so far. Up the aisle now and Flair gets beaten down some more.

The champ misses a chair shot and Flair hits some knees to the back (instead of the knee) and suplexes Hogan. Hulk is up first and drops elbows to keep momentum going. Flair Flip in the corner and he gets clotheslined to the floor. A fan tries to hit Flair with a cane. This match runs about 15 minutes. Seventeen and a half minutes in, FLAIR HITS HIM IN THE KNEE!!!

An early Figure Four attempt is countered and Flair hits a chop block. To the floor for the fifth time in about 8 minutes and there go the bandages. There’s the Figure Four (wrong leg, even Tony points this out) and after about 55 seconds, Hogan grabs Flair’s leg and shoves it off of his own. He Hulks Up and hits the big boot and legdrop but his knee gives out. Another Figure Four goes on and Hogan Hulks Up again and makes the ropes. He rolls into the ropes and Sherri, Flair’s manager, hits him with a shoe. Hulk falls to the floor and loses via countout.

Rating: F. No. No. No. NO. Flair looked like an IDIOT here and for what? To show that Hogan can’t feel pain in his knee? This was ridiculous and was nothing more than a sign of things to come. Hogan wouldn’t lose the title for over a year and Flair would look stupider and stupider every time they fought. Just pathetic.

The Masked Man comes out and they double team the knee. Another Figure Four goes on but Sting runs out for the save. Flair leaves with the belt.

Hogan is taken back to the hospital to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. You could see the problems that would kill this company staring you right in the face here. I’ll go with this: the rumored main event for Starrcade was going to be Austin vs. Flair. Instead, we got Hogan vs. Brutus Beefcake. Foley was run off and Austin was fired for being too unpushable. Strange how that decision was arrived after Hogan got there no? 95 was just awful as it was basically the late 80s all over again and until they caught a miracle in Hall and Nash, this was a horrible long term idea. At the end of the day, WCW isn’t around anymore, so what does that tell you?

 

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Smackdown – November 18, 2011 – I Want To See That Elimination Match

Smackdown
Date: November 18, 2011
Location: Webster Bank Arena, Bridgeport, Connecticut
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

With two days to go before the PPV, most of the card is already set. Rock/Cena will probably be the focal point of the talking which is fine, as long as the rest of the show gets some talking too. Big Show vs. Henry should get a good solid push here and somehow I’m looking forward to that. If they keep it at about ten minutes max it could be ok. Let’s get to it.

We open with Henry in the back choking away at Bryan and beating the tar out of him. He yells about disrespect and carries him into the arena. They hit the ring and Bryan is destroyed with the Slam. Referees come out so Bryan takes another slam. He grabs a mic and says that either he or Big Show is leaving MSG on a stretcher, and it won’t be him.

Show isn’t scheduled to wrestle tonight.

The main event is Orton/Sheamus vs. Barrett/Orton.

Sin Cara vs. Dolph Ziggler

This is non-title. Pre-match, Vickie announces that Dolph is fighting twice at the PPV as he did I think last time. The opponent this time is Morrison. The lights are changed again. I wonder if that’s the case during the Survivor Series match as well. Ziggler stalls a bit then takes Cara to the mat with a fireman’s carry. Cara finally gets some speed going with the Tajiri elbow and a suicide dive to the floor to take out the champ.

Dolph gets a boot to Cara as he comes in and drops an elbow. He botches the nipup a bit but points for trying. Hashtag heel hooks something like a Fujiwara Armbar but Cara comes up with strikes and the spinning wrist drag out of the corner. An enziguri from the apron sets up a misses swanton. Cara tries to roll him up but Dolph reverses and uses the tights for the pin at 5:25.

Rating: C-. This match never got going. They started off slow and other than the dive to the floor, nothing exciting ever really happened. It’s good that Dolph didn’t lose again as he’s got enough people chasing him so far. Not a horrible match, but absolutely nothing past first gear in this one.

Ziggy talks some trash so Cara beats him up like a rudo. This draws out Swagger and Ryan in that order for the saves.

Mason Ryan vs. Jack Swagger

Here’s the rare joined in progress match. Swagger takes him to the mat as I don’t think this has been going on very long so far. Ryan tries a powerslam but Swagger reverses and takes him down with a Vader Bomb for two. Off to a double chickenwing as this is rapidly approaching Ryan’s limit as far as time goes. Here’s his comeback with a powerslam as Cole talks about all of the big moments in SS history. Full nelson doesn’t work but the second attempt does. The slam ends this clean at 6:18 shown.

Rating: D+. Just a power match here but Ryan getting all the ring time he can is the right thing for him now. It’s not like Swagger is worth anything as a win anymore but Ryan got some experience which he needs. He’s got a LONG way to go and ring time is all that’s going to help him at this point.

Alicia Fox hits on Gabriel in the back when Ryder comes up and asks for a signature in exchange for a shirt. Show comes up and signs also. Ryder and Gabriel aren’t cool with Show being here because he wasn’t around for the beatdown earlier. Show asks where Mark is but goes to find Daniel instead.

Here’s Christian who is all banged up with a neck injury as well as his legit bad ankle. Christian insists he fought Sheamus last week as well as all over Europe, during which he hurt his ankle. It may keep him out for a few months but he’ll be cheering on Team Barrett on Sunday. Normally he’d be asking for one more match for the world title, but instead here he’s wanting one more match period. The fans don’t care about his pain and he says he’s a man. The people make him sick though and he’s through with all of them.

Bryan is in the trainers’ room with AJ for some reason. Show comes in and says it’s his fault. He’ll go find Henry.

Ted DiBiase vs. Derrick Bateman

THEN WHY IS HE ON NXT??? Whatever, as it’s not worth thinking about. Maxine interferes a bit and allows Bateman to take over. This isn’t going to last long I don’t think. NXT is discussed a bit as Bateman hooks that half nelson which was in every match on NXT this past week. I was right as Dream Street ends this at 2:50.

Show searches for Henry but finds Tyson Kidd and Jinder Mahal, who says something in whatever language he speaks. “You want to repeat that in English?” “No.” PUNCH. Show was also told Henry left the building.

Here’s Show in the ring and he says that the match could have happened tonight. However if that happened, he would have beaten Henry down so badly it would have been a disqualification and no new champion. Show has a piece of his favorite footage which is where Show had his leg broken by Henry. He says it’ll be Henry that is carried out of Survivor Series and there will be a new champion. Show holds up his fist and says it’s coming for him. He yells at the camera as his music plays.

Kofi Kingston vs. Hunico

Hunico says something in Spanish before the bell. Kofi grabs the arm to start and we hit the ropes a bit. Kofi sets for a monkey flip but Hunico fires a dropkick into the ribs to take over. Hunico with a chinlock and Booker says Kofi might tap. Has anyone ever given up to one of those? These two aren’t really clicking so far. Off to something like an abdominal stretch on the mat. Kofi makes his comeback as we talk about the elimination match some more. There’s the Boom Drop but Trouble in Paradise misses. The top rope cross body is rolled through for two but SOS gets the pin at 5:00.

Rating: C. I kind of liked this for how basic it was: it was a heel vs. a face with the brawler vs. the high flier and the high flier hitting a speed move to win it. What more can you really ask for in five minutes? I liked it here and it worked pretty well given what they had. Setting up the PPV match is always a good thing, but why in the world is Hunico supposed to be viewed as a threat?

Video on Big Zeke.

Beth Phoenix/Natalya vs. AJ/Kaitlyn

Beth vs. Eve is a lumberjack match for no apparent reason. Kaitlyn vs. Beth to start and I don’t think this is going to last long. Beth and Natalya are called Pin-Up Strong. The team with three nicknames takes over quickly with Nattie hooking an abdominal stretch. Off to AJ who is caught in a Sharpshooter with Natalya bending all the way back to the mat as AJ taps at 2:57. Kaitlyn is all ticked off post match, teasing a heel turn.

The main event angle from Raw eats up ten minutes.

Randy Orton/Sheamus vs. Cody Rhodes/Wade Barrett

Cody has officially been relegated to just a guy in trunks instead of an interesting character. I mean, he was getting over as a heel in a character that was even slightly different so KILL HIM NOW!!! Cody vs. Sheamus starts us off but it’s off to Barrett less than a minute in. Sheamus takes over and hits the pounding forearms while Barrett is in the ropes. Barrett and the moving hair of death fires back with that bow and arrow hold of his.

A tag brings in Orton and the place pops. He hits the powerslam and elevated DDT very quickly and calls for the RKO already. Cody comes off the top to break it up but jumps into a boot and the over the shoulder neckbreaker. Barrett kicks Orton down and we take a break. Back with Orton vs. Rhodes as Christian has come down to ringside. The captains slug it out and Barrett wins it, as he should given his backstory. Nice to see that for a change.

Barrett breaks up an attempted tag in a nice move by coming in and drilling Sheamus before Orton can get to him. There’s the hot tag anyway as Sheamus cleans house. Sheamus loads up the Brogue Kick but Christian pokes him with the crutch for the DQ at 7:50 shown of 11:20.

Rating: C+. This was shaping up to be a pretty solid tag match but the ending and lack of time hurt it a lot. The ending not being definitive is a great thing as Barrett looks strong and Christian is added as a potential wild card to the match on Sunday. This match has been built up very well and it feels like an additional main event, which is all you can ask for.

Rhodes takes a beating post match with finishers a go-go. Barrett takes an RKO and the good guys stand tall.

Overall Rating: B+. For a go home show, this was good stuff. Almost every big match got at least some kind of discussion or advancement and the elimination match continues to be built strong where I’m looking forward to it more than Cena/Rock or any other match. Good stuff here and I’m pretty impressed by this show.

 

Results
Dolph Ziggler b. Sin Cara – Rollup with a handful of tights
Mason Ryan b. Jack Swagger – Full nelson slam
Ted DiBiase b. Derrick Bateman – Dream Street
Kofi Kingston b. Hunico – SOS
Beth Phoenix/Natalya b. AJ/Kaitlyn – Sharpshooter to AJ
Randy Orton/Sheamus b. Cody Rhodes/Wade Barrett via DQ when Christian interfered