Monday Night Raw – March 19, 2007: The Slow Down Period

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 19, 2007
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We are less than two weeks away from Wrestlemania and that means it is time to really hammer things home. This time though it means that WWE is in a bit of a weird place as they have actually nailed the setup. Raw and Smackdown have both been feeling it as of late and they need to be careful not to screw up with four shows left. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In Memory of Arnold Skaaland. The hits just keep on coming at the moment.

Shawn Michaels vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

This is part of Wrestlemania Reversal, as Shawn and John Cena will face the other’s former Wrestlemania opponent. Hold on though as JBL comes to the ring in a suit after just flying in from New York City. No one tells him what to do or when to come out of retirement. If he does it, he will do it in his town by his rules. This match isn’t happening, which is good for Shawn because he already has more problems with Cena.

Shawn is an egotistical ***** but he knows how to play mind games. This time though, Shawn is doubting what he can do because he knows he can’t beat John Cena. Shawn has Everest right in front of him but he won’t climb the mountain. But since Shawn has found religion and is such a nice guy, people won’t boo him when he won’t even try.

Shawn takes the mic and says he is here to fight, but he isn’t worried about getting respect from everyone because he has already earned it. At Wrestlemania, he can and will defeat Cena to become WWE Champion. Nobody tells him what to do and when to deliver Sweet Chin Music. He’ll do it when he wants and he’ll do it when you least expect it….like he does right now to JBL. Shawn takes JBL’s hat and leaves.

We get an updated Vince McMahon vs. Donald Trump tale of the tape, now featuring:

Family Ties
Children
Matches Fought Against Children
Phallic Symbol
Women Issues

Randy Orton comes in to yell at Edge over selling him out on ECW. They argue over the last chance battle royal for a Money in the Bank ladder match, because Edge has lost his spot over the two of them not taking out Bobby Lashley. Blows are about to be struck but Orton leaves and Edge yells a lot.

It’s time for the Masterlock Challenge with Bobby Lashley accepting this time. For some reason Masters slaps Lashley in the back of the head, earning himself a slap in the face. The Masterlock goes on and, after some struggling, Lashley officially breaks the hold to win the challenge for the first time. Masters grabs a chair but things better of it. Lashley rubs his bald head as a nod to Vince McMahon.

Ashley’s Playboy photographer had a good time with the set.

In the back, Bobby Lashley runs into Vince McMahon, flanked by Coach and a bunch of celebrities. Vince promises to have Umaga break Lashley and then he will break Donald Trump’s spirit. As for tonight, these security guards are escorting Lashley out of the building. Vince and Coach run into Maria and seem to be impressed. They then run into Eugene, who spills his drink on Vince’s suit. A match with Umaga ensues and here is Ron Simmons for a low key catchphrase.

Tribute video to Arnold Skaaland, featuring some great old school footage and a bunch of people praising him.

Steve Austin is All Grown Up.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Battle Royal

Ric Flair, Carlito, Edge, Viscera, Super Crazy, Val Venis, Shelton Benjamin, Charlie Haas, Johnny Nitro, Kenny Dykstra

It’s a brawl to start and everyone gets together to toss Viscera in a hurry. Things slow way down as a result until Edge is sent outside (under the ropes) and comes up favoring his knee. The usual brawling continues until Haas and Benjamin pull Crazy out of the air and toss him out. We take a break and come back with Venis and Haas having been eliminated and Edge still down at ringside. Carlito saves himself on top but Shelton goes up to meet him. That takes too long though and Flair tosses Benjamin out.

Flair crotches Dykstra on top and chops him out as Carlito gets rid of Nitro. That leaves us with Carlito vs. Flair and they go straight at it, with Carlito not being able to toss him. Carlito hits the springboard back elbow and a running….I think knee lift to put Flair down again. Flair survives another toss attempt and gets in a poke to the eye. Carlito elbows him down out of the corner but charges into a backdrop for the elimination. Then Edge comes back in to toss Flair for the win.

Rating: D+. I still can’t stand that finish but at least this was before it became a cliché. At the same time, this was quite the waste of time as Edge was in the ladder match last week and now is again after this show is over. It wasn’t overly long but there were only a few potential winners here and it made for a bit of a lengthy path to the finish.

Here are Vince McMahon and Coach, plus a bunch of people bringing out a barber’s chair and tools. Those things are going to be sitting at ringside though because it’s destruction time.

Umaga vs. Eugene

Non-title and Vince sits at ringside as Umaga runs Eugene over and stomps away. The running hip attack in the corner crushes Eugene and the Samoan Spike is good for the fast pin.

Post match Vince says keep it up and has Eugene strapped into the chair. Umaga chokes him out and Vince cuts Eugene’s hair. Vince is way too happy with this and we even get a Billionaire B**** Slap! They’ll finish the shaving in the back, with Vince promising to shave everyone in the arena.

Here is Candice Michelle for a chat. She has been reading Melina’s WWE.com blogs about how the Playboy cover girls can’t make it in the ring so Melina can come out here and do something about it. Cue Melina, who says Michelle has her job because she can take her clothes off. Melina does her own version of the Go Daddy dance and goes on a rant about how none of the Playboy women have any talent. She has turned Playboy down over and over because it is beneath her. Candice says Melina doesn’t turn anyone down and has been underneath everyone in that locker room. If Melina won’t take off her clothes, Candice will.

Candice Michelle vs. Melina

Non-title bra and panties match and we’re joined in progress with Candice, minus her shirt, ripping off Melina’s pants. Melina headscissors her down and they go into a rather suggestive roll around the ring. That’s enough for Melina to get rid of Candice’s pants for the fast win.

Post match, here is Ashley to yell at Melina and rip off her top. Cue Great Khali of all people to go after Ashley so Jerry Lawler goes in for the failed save attempt.

More celebrities offer Trump vs. McMahon picks.

Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy

Toddy Grisham has replaced Lawler on commentary. Jeff avoids some right hands in the corner to start and snaps off some armdrags into an armbar. That’s broken up and Orton grabs his backbreaker and we hit the Liontamer to put Hardy in trouble. A rope is grabbed so Hardy comes back with more right hands into the Twist of Fate. Cue Edge to throw in a ladder though and Orton blasts Hardy for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Not time here and the match was little more than a way to set up Money in the Bank. Hardy and Orton are capable of doing a lot more than this but you can only get so far given these circumstances. Rated-RKO’s days seem to be numbered if they aren’t already out, but at least they are going to be in a big match on the way out.

Post match Edge yells at Orton so Hardy gives Orton the Twist of Fate. The legdrop over the ladder crushes Orton as Edge is rather pleased.

Here’s a look at Steve Austin’s new movie, the Condemned.

Wrestlemania rundown.

Vince McMahon is on the phone with someone who is going to drop a bomb tonight. He has a bomb of his own: he is facing Bobby Lashley next week. Coach isn’t sure about this but Vince guarantees a win.

Eugene, now bad, cries WHY ME into a mirror.

John Cena vs. Chris Benoit

Non-title and Shawn Michaels is on commentary. They go with the hard lockup to start until Benoit takes him into the corner for the knees to the ribs. The fight goes outside with Benoit not being able to hit a German suplex. Cena almost clotheslines Shawn but pulls back in time, allowing Benoit to jump him from behind.

Back in and Benoit hits a running elbow for two before it’s time start in on Cena’s leg. A dragon screw legwhip sets up the Sharpshooter but Cena crawls over to the rope. Benoit rolls the German suplexes (to quite the positive reaction) but the Swan Dive misses. The comeback is on and Cena hits the Shuffle, setting up the FU into the STFU for the tap.

Rating: C+. Another match where it was good while it lasted but it didn’t get to last very long. Cena beating Benoit clean in about six minutes is a bit hard to take but at least Benoit lost to someone a little higher up on the food chain. Shawn wasn’t much of a factor here, but most of the good stuff has already happened in their buildup and it is time to get to Wrestlemania for everyone involved.

Post match, Shawn gets inside and teases the superkick but smiles at Cena. They point at the sign and Cena loads up the AA but puts him down instead. Cue JBL to say that next week, Cena and Michaels will face Undertaker and Batista.

Overall Rating: C. You can tell that they have moved into the final push towards Wrestlemania, meaning you aren’t like to get big names in longer matches. It might be a little annoying, but it makes sense to keep things as safe as possible on the way to Detroit. Not a great show, but it did its job of staying the course for one more week as Wrestlemania gets closer and closer.

 

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – March 12, 2007: Hey It’s The Rock

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 12, 2007
Location: Verizon Center, Washington DC
Attendance: 14,740
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We are less than three weeks away from Wrestlemania and it’s another Donald Trump show as the contract has to be signed. Other than that, the World Title situation has been picking up as you can feel the tension building between Shawn Michaels and John Cena. The shows have actually been working well as of late and that might be the case again this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In Memory of Ernie Ladd.

We open with a recap of Shawn Michaels and John Cena not needing the other to save them, with Shawn barely saving Cena to end the show.

Here is John Cena to get things going. Cena knows there is tension in the air because he doesn’t know if he can trust Shawn Michaels. When is Shawn going to betray him and get it over with? If Shawn wants to turn on his tag partner then fine, but if Shawn wants to kick his teeth down his throat, come out here and do it right now.

Cue Shawn, but Cena cuts him off to say this is all about the title. Shawn says he isn’t going to win Good Samaritan this year because all he cares about is being WWE Champion. People have been asking when he is going to turn on Cena, but why aren’t people asking when Cena is going to turn on him? Cena will do anything to be champion and that’s what Shawn likes about him. As much as Cena wants to be champion, Shawn wants one more day in the sun that much more.

Violence is teased but here is Coach to interrupt. All this talk about the WWE Title has taken focus off of the Tag Team Titles and there are a lot of teams ready to take their heads off. That’s why tonight, it’s a gauntlet match against three teams. It seems to be three straight title matches, and the third is going to take place inside a steel cage.

Celebrities pick who they want to see bald.

Donald Trump arrives.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Randy Orton vs. Carlito vs. Ric Flair

Elimination rules so Orton has to fight off a double team out of the corner. Back to back dropkicks put Carlito and Flair down but Flair is back up with the chops. Carlito does the same in the corner and gets two off a back elbow to the face. Flair takes out the knee and Carlito hits the springboard elbow. For reasons of good guys in wrestling are idiots, Carlito wants to put on the RKO so a fight breaks out with Flair. The Backstabber to Flair sets up the RKO for the elimination and we take a break.

Back with Carlito crawling to the ropes to get out of a Boston crab. That’s fine with Orton, as he gets in the Garvin Stomp into the jumping knee for two. Orton punches him down in the corner and we hit the chinlock. Carlito, eventually, fights up and snaps off a hurricanrana into a flapjack for two. The springboard spinning Swanton gets two but Orton crotches him on top. The RKO sends Orton to Wrestlemania.

Rating: C-. The elimination rule was little more than a way for Carlito to look like a moron, which he tends to do on his own. The Carlito/Flair stuff makes sense on paper, but then falls apart when you realize that it’s a story about Carlito. Orton going on makes sense as he needs something to do at Wrestlemania and he looked pretty dominant on the way there.

Video on Bobby Lashley vs. Vince McMahon.

It’s time for a Masterlock Challenge but no one comes out. Chris Masters offers Lilian Garcia a chance but here is Super Crazy for the save. Crazy gets in a few shots but gets Masterlocked down. This was every Masterlock Challenge for months now.

Vince McMahon arrives and tells Donald Trump’s driver to tell Trump that his is bigger than Trump’s. The limo that is.

Video on Ernie Ladd, who I like more and more every time I see something from him.

Edge and Randy Orton are getting ready in the back but stop to bicker about winning Money in the Bank. Edge is undefeated, but the only reason is he never faced Randy Orton.

Lilian Garcia asks us to look at the Titantron for a public service announcement. Someone is reading the Los Angeles Times and talking about the Battle of the Billionaires. The paper is folded down…..and it’s the Rock. Well that wakes the crowd up. Rock talks about being Samoan himself and knows that Umaga is Samoan for shriveled up monkey censored. How is Vince going to win with a shriveled up monkey censored? Rock hits some catchphrases and we’re done in a hurry. This was as fast paced of a cameo as you’re going to get.

Ashley had a Playboy signing in New York City.

Tag Team Titles: Gauntlet Match

John Cena and Shawn Michaels are defending in three straight matches. First up is the World’s Greatest Tag Team so Cena hiptosses and elbows Benjamin down to start. The release fisherman’s suplex gets two but Benjamin gets him into the corner for the tag to Haas. Some right hands and a slam set up more right hands but Cena runs him over. The hot(ish) tag brings in Michaels to clean house until Cena tags himself back in. The STFU, with a glare at Michaels, makes Haas tap.

Trevor Murdoch and Lance Cade are in next with an atomic drop/big boot combination to take over on Michaels. Murdoch’s slingshot knee gives Cade two and a jumping clothesline is good for the same. The bearhug doesn’t last long as Michaels punches his way out and hits an enziguri. Cena gets the tag and starts to wreck things, including the FU to Murdoch….at least in theory, as Shawn superkicks Murdoch for the pin instead. The cage is lowered and it’s MNM as the third challengers.

We’re joined in progress with Nitro getting two on Cena before grabbing the chinlock. That doesn’t last long as Cena is up in a hurry for another tag back to Michaels. Nitro takes Michaels down as well and it’s time for some choking. A neckbreaker gives Nitro two but the yet to be named Starship Pain misses.

Despite Mercury getting in a cheap shot on Cena, Michaels gets over for the tag anyway and it’s time to clean house. Everything breaks down and it turns into a contest to see who can abuse Mercury worse. Mercury is busted open but Michaels and Cena get into it again, this time over which finisher to use. Nitro gets dropped so it’s a superkick to send Mercury into the FU to retain.

Rating: C. This was little more than a workout for Cena and Michaels, as the other three teams just aren’t close to them. It took about six minutes to beat the first two and then not much more than that to take out MNM. The feud has been doing good things for Cena and Michaels but it has shown how weak the tag division is. Then again, that has been pretty clear for a long time now.

Post match the cage is raised and the other teams come in to go after Michaels and Cena. That’s fine with Cena, who grabs a chair to wreck everyone. Cena teases hitting Michaels but everything is cool and the champs leave everyone laying.

Jeff Hardy vs. Edge

Hold on though as Edge is in street clothes. He would love to come down and beat up Jeff Hardy but he isn’t wrestling in a city with a football team named after a racial slur. Replacement time, as Edge has a friend of Indian descent.

Jeff Hardy vs. Great Khali

Hardy isn’t sure about this but hammers away to no avail. Khali throws him down without much trouble, hits him in the head, and yells a lot. Cue Kane though…..and he has some meat hooks on a chain (his See No Evil weapon) so we’ll call it from here.

Post match Khali runs away from the threat of likely death so Kane uses the hooks to destroy the announcers’ table instead.

Donald Trump wants to know if Vince McMahon’s hair is fake.

Mr. Fuji is going into the Hall of Fame. Other than Billy Gunn and Kofi Kingston, he held a Tag Team Title longer than any man in company history so yeah, he belongs in there.

Mick Foley is proud of his new book, the Hardcore Diaries, and talks about some things he discusses, including Vince McMahon’s lack of creative genius and ECW. Cue Ashley, who offers a copy of Playboy for the book. Foley says he won’t look at the pictures because he can’t look at Ashley that way. As luck would have it, Foley has a page marked in his book about his thoughts on his co-workers in Playboy. He turns around to the open magazine and Ron Simmons comes in for his catchphrase.

We get a Battle of the Billionaires tale of the tape.

Vince is getting his hair ready and reminds the hairdresser that he is bigger than Trump. Coach comes in to praise Vince’s hair but Vince goes on a rant about how Coach’s bald head reminds him too much of Trump.

Melina vs. Torrie Wilson

Non-title. Torrie gets two off a bridging rollup, which has commentary rather approving. Another rollup gets another two as commentary talks about various magazines. Melina fights up but gets knocked down, allowing JR to mention that Torrie is from the potato state of Idaho. That’s enough for Melina, who grabs a rollup with trunks for the pin.

Post match the beatdown stays on until Mickie James runs in for the save, with Victoria right behind her. Melina is left alone so here is Ashley to beat her down instead.

Edge comes up to Vince McMahon in the back and offers to have Rated-RKO take care of Bobby Lashley on ECW. How about tomorrow, Lashley faces Randy Orton? If Orton can’t go though, he should be thrown out of Money in the Bank. Vince is good with that.

Here is Vince McMahon for the contract signing, though first he has to slip on the way into the ring. Vince talks about how Donald Trump won’t be able to get out of this one and brings out Umaga, with Armando Alejandro Estrada of course. There is no Trump though and Vince thinks it is due to cowardice.

The threat of a Billionaire B**** Slap brings out Trump, flanked by Maria and Candice Michelle. Trump: “Vince, your grapefruits are no match for my Trump towers.” He brings out Bobby Lashley (Trump: “Love you Bobby. Do we love Bobby? Do we love Bobby?”) and says these people seem to like him. Vince doesn’t care what the people or celebrities think and they both sign.

Cue Steve Austin to keep the star power and Vince’s panicking going. Austin asks the fans about their picks for the match before telling Trump that he is in his ring. Trump does nothing but tell people they’re fired, but don’t get on Austin’s bad side or he’ll take him out. Trump smirks it off so Austin goes over to Vince to ask about his problem with bald people (as we cut to Lashley and then back to Austin).

Vince isn’t happy so Austin grabs him by the tie and threatens various acts of violence. Austin leaves so Vince recaps everything again before leaving. Hold on though as Trump has something of his own: FAKE PHOTOS OF A BALD VINCE!!! Trump wants to fight Vince right now so Vince gets back in, only to be shoved over the table to end the show. This was the big angle of the night and while things are a bit different in hindsight, they knew what they had here and the money they made on Wrestlemania showed how right they were.

Overall Rating: C. This one is going to depend on how you look at it. While the wrestling itself was nothing memorable whatsoever, they’re in a bit of a unique spot. Wrestlemania is set and there is nothing else that really needs to be added. That means the rest of the time is going to be spent firming things up, hence the 20+ minute main event segment. The show isn’t very good on its own, but as part of the build to Wrestlemania, it worked rather well.

 

 

 

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Summerslam Count-Up – Summerslam 2006 (2013 Redo): A Lot Of Things Put Together

Summerslam 2006
Date: August 20, 2006
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 16,168
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, Joey Styles, John Bradshaw Layfield

This is an interesting show as a lot has changed since last year but WWE is still in the same kind of situation: the shows are coming and going and not a lot is changing. The shows aren’t bad, but there’s nothing that feels like required viewing. This year we have DX vs. the McMahons, Edge defending the Raw Title against Cena, Batista challenging King Booker for the Smackdown Title, Flair vs. Foley in an I Quit match, Hogan vs. Randy Orton and the first ECW Title match in WWE PPV history. The card is stacked but nothing on here feels must see. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about DX taking over the company with their sophomoric jokes. The other matches get some lip service as well.

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

Guerrero claimed that Rey was leeching off the Guerrero name, which he totally was but Guerrero is still playing the heel here. We get videos on Eddie’s relationships with both Rey and Chavo, conveniently ignoring Rey vs. Eddie from last year. Apparently Chavo is coming out of retirement for one night only. The brawl is on fast and JBL is WAY into it already. Chavo hits a quick uppercut and catches a standing Lionsault into a powerslam position, only to have Rey armdrag him out to the floor.

Mysterio misses a plancha to the floor and Chavo hits a big dive of his own to take over. Chavo shouts that it’s his blood instead of Rey’s as JBL calls this the biggest comeback since the resurrection. Rey charges into the corner but Chavo drops him face first onto the buckle to put him down again. Chavo does the Eddie dance, drawing the crowd into the Eddie chant. The masked dude is knocked to the floor and then face first into the buckle to keep him on defense.

Chavo puts him on the top rope and tries to powerbomb Rey to the floor but Rey fights out to avoid death. They facejam each other down to the mat and both guys are in trouble. Back up and Rey gets two off a springboard cross body. A hard kick to the head gets the same for Rey before he hurricanranas Chavo into the 619. The seated senton misses and Mysterio hurricanranas both guys out to the floor.

Chavo takes control and sends Rey back in but here’s Vickie to yell at him. Rey dives off the apron with something the camera misses to take out Chavo and we head back inside. Chavo hits two of the Three Amigos as Vickie is screeching at them to stop fighting. Rey hits the Three Amigos and goes up top but Vickie keeps shouting at him to stop before accidentally crotching him down. Chavo hits a brainbuster and the frog splash for the pin.

Rating: C+. The match was entertaining enough but the bleeding dry of Eddie’s corpse is well beyond old here. Seriously, they were fighting over who was really defending Eddie’s honor. It was fun stuff but the Vickie screeching is getting already getting annoying. She’s been around seven years. How is that possible?

Booker is holding the title with a maniacal look in his eyes. He rants in a British accent for a bit and says he and Sharmell are the most powerful couple in wrestling. This brings in Edge and Lita who just happened to be standing off camera when Booker said that. They debate how important they are and make a wager: if Booker loses he has to be Edge’s servant but if Edge loses he has to kiss Booker’s feet.

This is a good example of what I mean when I talk about the show looking too structured. Why were Edge and Lita right there to respond to those comments? It comes off as so fake and set up in advance that it kills whatever air of realism the show has. Have Booker say they’re the powerful couple, then have Edge and Lita come in later in the show. Same amount of time spent, same result, doesn’t look forced. Why is this so complicated?

ECW Title: Big Show vs. Sabu

Big Show is defending after Sabu beat Van Dam in a ladder match this past week. It’s extreme rules, which is a rarity for these title matches anymore. Sabu starts fast by swinging a chair and gets a quick one count off the Arabian Facebuster. The chair is set up in the middle of the ring but Big Show drops Sabu face first onto the steel. Big Show crushes the chair with his boot and chops Sabu down with ease.

We hit an early bearhug but Sabu pokes the eyes to escape. A springboard is caught in a fallaway slam from Big Show to send Sabu to the outside. The small one grabs a chair to blast Show in the face before dropkicking it into Show’s face. Sabu it too banged up to immediately cover so it’s only a one count. With nothing else working, Sabu loads up a table in the corner and hits a tornado DDT for no cover.

Sabu finally knocks him through the table off a springboard from the chair but Show pops up and electric chairs Sabu down. A Vader Bomb crushes Sabu and Show brings in two sets of steps. He bridges a table across them but his chokeslam is countered into a DDT through the table. Sabu sets up another table but charges into a chokeslam through it for the pin.

Rating: D. I don’t care. Seriously that’s the first thing that came to my head. This was less than nine minutes and the ending was never in double at all. At least a third of the match was spent setting up the next spot, especially near the end. The early days of WWECW with the old ECW guys were just torture to get through as it was clearly trying to recreate magic and it wasn’t anything of note. Dull match here and it would be several months before ECW picked up.

Layla won the Diva Search earlier this week.

The Divas welcome Layla to the company. These stupid girl power segments got old fast. Everyone gets on her and then say they’re all kidding. Layla is dragged into the shower and spanked for her initiation. Everyone is clothed so this goes nowhere.

We recap Hogan vs. Orton. Hogan is a legend, Orton is the legend killer, I think you can do the math. There was a stupid bit with Orton hitting on Brooke thrown in which went nowhere.

Randy Orton vs. Hulk Hogan

Hogan has a bad leg coming in, meaning he’s perfectly normal. Hulk easily shoves Orton down out of lockup to start before running him down with a shoulder block. The bandana goes into Orton’s face before Randy grabs a headlock. Hogan fights out with a top wristlock as we’re still going very slowly so far, much to Hogan’s liking. Randy finally gets in some shots to the face to put Hogan down, thereby making him the biggest heel in the world.

Hogan fights Orton off in the corner and sends him into the buckle. Almost all Hogan so far which continues as Hogan pounds down right hands in the corner. He bites Randy’s forehead and pokes him in the eye to keep us firmly in the mid-80s. Hogan rakes his back and pounds away on the mat before threatening the referee with a right hand. Orton holds the ropes on an Irish whip and pulls Hogan to the mat to work on the knee.

Back in and Orton cannonballs down on the leg before doing a short form of the circle stomp. A chop block puts Hulk down again but he ducks/collapses to avoid a high cross body. Hogan pounds away but misses the big boot, allowing Orton to dropkick him down. The RKO connects for three but Hogan’s foot was on the ropes. Orton argues with the referee, Hulk Hulks Up and the legdrop ends it.

Rating: D. Well let’s see: the booking was out of the 80s, Hogan broke a sweat for maybe a minute, and Orton was pinned clean by a 50+ year old man in about eleven minutes. This is the opposite of last year with Shawn as Michaels didn’t have much to gain from a win. Orton on the other hand could have ridden this win for months, but instead we get Hogan’s last WWE match (which you couldn’t have known at the time) as a tribute to him, complete with the 1985 formula all over again. Not a fan of this but you had to know it was coming.

We look at a big party yesterday which is exactly what you would think it was. This was also the announcement for WWE 24/7, which was nowhere near as cool as it sounded.

Melina isn’t sure if Foley can beat Flair but he freaks out on her, saying he’ll do it. This was an awkward on screen relationship.

Ric Flair vs. Mick Foley

In something else that was kind of awkward, these two traded shots at each other in their books with Foley saying Flair wrestled the same match for years and Flair calling Foley a glorified stunt man. Tonight is an I Quit match and it’s all about respect. Foley jumps Flair in the corner and pounds away before hitting the running knee to the head. A running trashcan shot to the head has Flair in early trouble and it’s already Socko time. Flair won’t give up so Foley says he’ll suffer.

Foley wraps barbed wire around the sock but Flair grabs Mick’s crotch to block it. We’re not even two minutes into this and we’ve already had a crotch grab. A low blow puts Mick down and Flair wraps the barbed wire sock around his hand for some chops. Ric sends Foley knees first into the steps but Foley rams him into the announce table to get a breather. Foley pulls out a barbed wire board and blasts Flair in the back with it to make Naitch scream.

We head inside again and the fans want fire. Flair is busted open (duh) so Foley rubs the barbed wire over the cut for good measure. A barbed wire board to the head and the shoulder have Flair in even more trouble but he tells Foley to kiss something instead of quitting. Foley spreads out the thumbtacks and slams Ric down onto them in a scary looking but perfectly safe spot. Think about it: the tacks are what, half an inch long? All they’re going to go into is fat so while it’ll hurt, there’s no real danger to the spot. It’s like being stung by a bunch of bees.

Anyway Flair still won’t quit so Foley brings in the barbed wire ball bat to cut at Flair’s head even more. Flair hits his second low blow to escape before sending him shoulder first into the post. The ball bat to the shoulder has Foley in big trouble as Ric goes into old school brawler mode. Foley won’t quit so Flair threatens to kill him by cutting out his heart.

A third low blow has Foley on the apron, allowing for Ric to knock him off the apron and onto the concrete. Foley is apparently out cold so medics and Melina come out to check on him. The trainer says it’s over and the bell rings. That’s not good enough for Flair though and he sends Foley back in to rub the ball bat over Foley’s face again. He runs the barbed wire over Mick’s unconscious eyes and Melina throws in the towel to end it. Wait that’s STILL not good enough for Flair because Foley has to say it. Ric threatens Melina with the ball bat and Foley quits to save her.

Rating: B. This was one heck of a bloodbath until Melina had to get involved. I get that they didn’t want either guy to quit but dang man, did we really need Melina out there? Like I said it never was a good fit on screen and would end with Melina screwing over Foley for no apparent reason. Good match, but Flair flat out doesn’t need to be doing this at his age.

Vince, Shane and Armando Alejandro Estrada (Umaga’s manager) make fun of Foley until Vince asks if they have Umaga’s support tonight. Armando says si.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. King Booker

Booker is defending and Batista never lost the title, only being stripped due to injury. This is his first major match since December/January. Booker’s wife Sharmell reaches Vickie levels of annoying by saying ALL HAIL KING BOOKER about 18 times on the way to the ring. Feeling out process to start with Booker taking him into the corner and slapping him across the face. Batista easily shoves him across the ring to prove a point as things are starting slowly.

The champion grabs a headlock but completely misses a spin kick, allowing Batista to counter into a powerslam for two. Booker tries to bail with Sharmell but Batista doesn’t even let him get close. Back in and Booker blocks a Batista Bomb by snapping Batista’s neck across the ropes to take over. We hit a chinlock less than four minutes in and the fans aren’t pleased. Back up and Batista hits a sloppy belly to belly suplex for two but Sharmell sends in the scepter for a cheap shot, giving Booker more control.

Booker goes after the arm, which is the injury that kept Batista on the shelf for so long. That makes too much sense though so it’s off to a regular chinlock. Batista finally gets up and crotches Booker on the top before hitting some weak clotheslines. They head to the floor with Booker sending him into the barricade to take over. A missile dropkick gets two on Big Dave but the ax kick misses. Batista Jackhammers him down for two and busts out a full nelson slam of all things. He loads up the Batista Bomb and Sharmell comes in for the lame DQ.

Rating: D. Well at least it wasn’t that long. These two had horrible chemistry together so of course they had two more PPV matches until Batista finally took the title at Survivor Series. The ending sucked, the match sucked, Batista looked as slow as Hogan out there, and the fans were bored by the match. Sounds like it needs a sequel to me.

Post match Batista “destroys” Booker, which translates to him not being able to get him up for a Batista Bomb until Booker clearly pulls himself up. Again, this feud went on for three more months.

Jeff Hardy is coming back tomorrow. Why bother announcing it when you can have a big surprise like that?

DX talks to someone we can’t see. They tell him how much Vince praised Umaga, calling him the REAL monster in WWE. They leave and whoever was in there bangs on the door.

We recap DX vs. the McMahons. This feud started with Shawn vs. Vince but HBK recruited HHH to help him out. DX destroyed a bunch of Vince’s stuff and made fun of him, basically getting on the nerves of everyone over 17 years old. Vince and Shane brought in everyone imaginable to help them but DX dispatched them easily because they’re both Hall of Famers and they were fighting jobbers to the stars. Umaga was the only one who could beat them one on one, making those matches the only interesting parts of the entire feud.

D-Generation X vs. Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon

Vince and Shane head back to the entrance and send out the Spirit Squad as the first line of defense. Superkicks, backdrops and Pedigrees abound, getting rid of the Raw Tag Champions (the cheerleaders) in less than fifteen seconds. DX beat the Spirit Squad about five times in this whole thing but never won the tag titles. I never quite got why.

Next up are Kennedy, Finlay and Regal who do a bit better thanks to Finlay’s club but only last about 40 seconds. Now it’s Big Show to really challenge DX. Why all nine guys didn’t come out at once is never really addressed. The three midcarders take down HHH on the floor, leaving Shawn alone with Show. A cobra clutch backbreaker and the Log Roll knock Shawn silly as HHH is destroyed. Now the McMahons come to the ring and there’s the opening bell.

Vince slams Shawn down to start and it’s off to Shane for some dancing. He peppers Shawn with left jabs and hits a big right cross to puts him down. HHH is still down from a chokeslam through the announce table. Vince comes back in for something like a clothesline to the ribs and fires off elbows in the corner. A double back elbow puts Shawn down and HHH is finally remembering what planet he’s on. Shane of course slides to the floor to knock him down again, which is pretty smart.

Shane hits a backbreaker on Michaels and it’s back to Papa McMahon. There’s a double elbow but HHH is on his feet. Shane, again, wisely baseball slides him onto the other announce table. The McMahons bust out the Demolition Decapitation and the Hart Attack of all things, complete with signature Bret pose. They even hit a bad looking Doomsday Device but Shawn pops up at two and fires off right hands. Vince sneaks in with a shot to the back and down goes HBK again. Shawn scores with a double clothesline and everyone is down.

HHH is back up on the apron and actually takes the hot tag. Adrenaline kicks in and house is cleaned with a high knee and a neckbreaker to Shane. Clotheslines take both McMahons down and there’s a spinebuster for the young one. Shawn drops the elbow on Vince and hits a Cactus Clothesline to take Shane out.

Here’s Umaga to superkick Shawn and hit a quick Samoan Spike to HHH. This brings out Kane as the guy DX was talking to so he can fight Umaga to the back. Shane can only get two on the Game so Vince punches the referee. Shane loads up a Coast to Coast but Shawn superkicks him out of the air. A trashcan shot to Vince sets up Sweet Chin Music and the Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: B-. That’s about as high as they can get and there’s nothing wrong with that. The booking was as smart as you could get since there might not be two guys in the company that could be a legitimate threat to DX in a straight match so making it eleven on two to start was all they could do. The rest of the match is your usual tag team formula match and that’s all they could do here. The fans popped for the ending too so I can’t complain much.

Wrestlemania 23 is in Detroit.

We recap Edge vs. Cena. Edge won MITB last year at Wrestlemania and cashed in on Cena at New Year’s Revolution nine months later. After some title trading with Van Dam and Cena, Edge wound up with the belt on Raw, setting up the one on one showdown here tonight.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Edge

Cena is the hometown boy tonight. If Edge gets disqualified he loses the title. Cena charges him into the corner and the booing begins. John pounds away and gets one off a back elbow and a belly to belly suplex. Edge avoids a charge to send Cena shoulder first into the post and out to the floor. It’s kind of early for that spot. Back in and Edge beats on Cena with basic strikes before knocking him off the apron and into the barricade.

Cena makes it back in at nine but Edge immediately drops an elbow on his back for two more. John makes a comeback with right hands as the fans are booing even louder now. A quick fisherman’s suplex gets two on Edge but he sends Cena over the top and out to the floor for the third time. Back in again and Cena misses a cross body to put him down again. Why it puts Edge down as well isn’t clear.

We hit the chinlock for a good while until Cena breaks the hold with pure power. Cena hits a knee to the chest but walks into a big boot for two. Edge goes up top and fights off Cena so he can hit a top rope clothesline for two. Off to a camel clutch but Cena again powers out of it. Both guys are down so Lita sends in a chair. Edge picks it up before throwing it down out of fear in a cute bit. Cena initiates his finishing sequence but the FU is countered into the Impaler for two.

Edge goes up again but has to escape the FU off the ropes into an electric chair but Cena gets two off a victory roll. A middle rope cross body is rolled through into the FU but a Lita distraction makes Cena drop Edge. The champion is sent into his chick and Cena gets a close two off a rollup. A double clothesline puts both guys down until Edge rolls over for two.

The Canadian is up first but the spear is countered into the STFU. Lita tries to come in with the belt but Edge waves her off and gets the rope. The referee has to drag Cena off, allowing Lita to load up brass knuckles on Edge’s hand. Cena grabs the FU anyway but Lita comes in, only to be thrown on top of Edge in a double FU. How that isn’t a DQ isn’t clear but Cena flips her to the mat, allowing Edge to knock him out with the knuckles to retain the title.

Rating: B-. This took some time to get going but the ending was great. Edge winning is an interesting concept and they would go with the same idea next month when Cena beat Edge in Edge’s signature match in his hometown. The match wasn’t all that good though as it felt like they were just killing time until the end, which makes for a dull match.

Overall Rating: C. Right in the middle is about perfect here as there are almost equal amounts of good and bad. The interesting things about this show are the match lengths. Usually there are some very short matches and one or two longer ones. Here there’s only one match under nine minutes and the longest is the main event which isn’t even sixteen. That makes for a show where there’s nothing huge to save the bad stuff and everything is almost equal in length, meaning you can weigh almost everything the same. The show is definitely watchable but skip Booker vs. Batista.

Ratings Comparison

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Big Show vs. Sabu

Original: C

Redo: D

Hulk Hogan vs. Randy Orton

Original: B

Redo: D

Mick Foley vs. Ric Flair

Original: B-

Redo: B

Batista vs. King Booker

Original: D

Redo: D

Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon vs. D-Generation X

Original: C-

Redo: B-

Edge vs. John Cena

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: C+

Redo: C

Other than Hogan, not a lot changes here. This show pretty much is what it is.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/09/history-of-summerslam-count-up-2006-hogan-and-dx-are-in-charge-are-we-in-1998/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Summerslam Count-Up – Summerslam 2006 (Original): But Just Ok

Summerslam 2006
Date: August 20, 2006
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 16,168
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, Joey Styles, JBL

So a few things have happened since last year, but a lot of the show is the same. DX is back, feuding with the McMahons, Edge has risen to prominence and is the WWE Champion, and Booker is now a British guy. Your main events are Booker vs. Batista and Cena vs. Edge, along with the DX vs. McMahon tag match. The other major difference is the return of ECW, which as usual has one match. This is far different than the ECW you see today, as the title match is Big Show vs. Sabu.

Hogan is here again, this time against Orton, while Flair and Foley are having an I Quit match, which would be Foley’s last big angle as he would leave for awhile very shortly after this, returning in about 9 months for a few appearances here and there before becoming commentator for about a month before leaving for TNA. That’s enough recap from me, so let’s do this. Oh one last thing. Angle would be released 5 days after this show and would debut for TNA about 5 weeks after this.

The opening video is generic to say the least. It’s just promos and clips from the three major feuds. I’m really disappointed in this.

The 6 announcers welcome us to the show which takes a few minutes. Lawler says that he’s the WWE’s original party animal which just amuses me.

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

Remember how I said I was disappointed? That’s nothing compared to this. This contest is being held because these two have been fighting over who was closer to Eddie. This is nothing short of disgusting to me. Eddie passed away less than a year ago, and this isn’t even the first angle that was because of him. I get that he was a huge star, but you don’t need to use him to further storylines.

Chavo says that Rey is living off of Eddie’s legacy, which in reality he likely was as he got the world title at Mania, but that’s a different argument for a different time. They show video packages of both men’s relationships with Eddie as I feel like I’m in 5th grade. Seriously, this is like two 8 year old girls arguing over who someone’s real best friend is. However, the other friend just happens to be dead. See? No matter how you say that it’s not respectful or paying tribute. IT’S CREEPY.

Also, the whole Dominick storyline is completely omitted. In other words, thanks to the magic of WWE, the whole angle about Eddie trying to destroy Rey’s family and steal his son has been completely forgiven. And people wonder why WWE is criticized so much. Apparently Chavo is retired or something but this is a one night only event. If only that were true. As much as I can’t stand JBL in the ring, he’s pretty good on commentary.

It’s nice to have him out there as he was a wrestler far more recently than Tazz was. Chavo cost Rey the title. Thanks for mentioning that 3 minutes into the match. JBL makes an Arturo Gatti reference which is just weird to hear at this point. Chavo is complaining that Rey is trying to make a name off of Eddie. Yeah, I don’t need to criticize that. JBL calls Chavo’s comeback the biggest one since the resurrection. Again, don’t even need to make fun of that.

JBL goes on to say that these are two of Smackdown’s best. If this is one night only, wouldn’t that mean he’s not on Smackdown at the moment? Rey is having mask issues so we take a short break. Ok I like JBL. He’s actually really good at this. They both stand on the top rope and…just kind of jump off. Yeah that spot looked really stupid. Bradshaw keeps calling him Shavo which is getting annoying.

Yeah JBL is already getting annoying. If he says “He’s a Guerrero!” one more time I’m going to scream. Eddie was a groomsman at JBL’s wedding? How much do they want to break down the walls between reality and kayfabe? 619 but Chavo avoids the senton and they go to the floor. Vickie, now with about another 50 pounds on her and in full annoying mode heads to the ring and goes after Chavo for no apparent reason, slapping him.

The three amigos get Chavo booed out of the building. Cole calls a hurricanrana a headscisscors. Since Chavo got booed out of the building for the triple suplexes, Rey does them as well as everyone is being booed now. Rey goes up for a frog splash and Vickie tries to stop him, resulting him in him getting crotched. Chavo hits a suplex which is called a brainbuster, leading to the frog splash as Vickie screams to win it. Post match, they still won’t shut up about how it’s about family etc.

Rating: C+. The match was fine, but the rating is hurt a lot as this storyline is just flat out horrid. It’s completely disrespectful, and while it got both of the Guerreros jobs, it just wasn’t needed. There were about a dozen other ways to do this that wouldn’t be disrespectful at all, nor would they have ticked off the crowd. I hated this, but the wrestling was ok I guess. It would have been better if I had watched it muted.

Booker and Sharmell are in the back with Booker still being British, which is oddly a far better gimmick for him. He was completely generic as Booker T, but this is quite memorable. Edge and Lita come in and they argue about who the most powerful couple in wrestling is. That would be Vince and Linda.

This would lead to the triple threat challenge at Cyber Sunday which was all three championships on the line at the same time and was ended by Kevin freaking Federline. They make a bet about their title matches that didn’t mean anything at all in the end.

Ad for the best managers DVD. That’s a lost art in wrestling anymore.

It’s time for the ECW title match. The story is pretty simple: Big Show is ECW Champion and Sabu wants to be. Sabu won a ladder match against Van Dam on ECW to get this match, albeit with help from Show. Styles screams that this was VINTAGE ECW. Is this a running joke that we just never caught on to?

ECW Title: Sabu vs. Big Show

This is extreme rules, and for the ECW WORLD Title. Yes it was called a world title back then. For those of you that haven’t seen Sabu before, consider yourself lucky. He’s the epitome of everything that’s wrong with hardcore wrestling as his skills were limited at best and dangerous at worst. However, he was an extreme icon, so it’s all good. The ECW belt looks like a toy on Show. Within 5 seconds of the bell, Sabu has hit Show 4 times with a chair. That’s a good way of foreshadowing the match.

Show steps on it and crushes the chair which looks cool. This is more or less just Sabu using weapons and Show beating him up. It’s a simple formula but it’s working to an extent. The chair shots sounds SICK. If you think Hardy botches moves, he’s Bret Hart compared to Sabu. It’s table time, as Sabu is the guy that made them famous, far more so than the Dudleys who are more known for them.

Sabu gets him through the table which the more I think about it the more I think that it is nowhere near as great of a spot as it’s built up to be. A Vader Bomb pretty much kills the Arabian. Big Show brings in a table and stairs which is a cheap indy show name if I’ve ever heard one. Show sets up a tiny bridge with a table over two sets of stairs.

Sabu climbs on it and of course it falls over, so he sets it again as Show just looks at him. Naturally, he’s booed for it. Chokeslam through the table ends this, even though Sabu is on the table and therefore his shoulders are technically up, but why am I trying to use logic on a match like this?

Rating: C. It was a hardcore match with good chair shots. What are you really expecting here? It was fine for what it was, but it’s nothing special. Sabu as usual was just flat out horrid and Show didn’t have to do much. It was ok, as long as you don’t take it too seriously.

We see Layla winning the Diva Search. Yeah I don’t care either. In the divas locker room, Layla shows off her horrible acting skills while Trish yells at her for saying she doesn’t belong here. Truer words have never been spoken. Three years have passed and Layla still can’t do crap. Of course, in the end Trish is fine with it and everything is cool. They take her into the shower and spray her down with water. Yeah, it’s stupider than it sounds.

A band called the Teddybears did the theme song. Is there a point to these things that I’m missing?

We get a recap of Hogan vs. Orton, which is billed perfectly as legend vs. legend killer. These Hogan highlight packages are always cool. More or less all this happened for was to get Hogan’s reality show pushed and to promote Brooke. Orton hit on her and Hogan stopped him, resulting in Hogan getting RKOed on a car.

We also get highlights of all the legends that Orton hit with the RKO, which is a decent list I guess. We even got a parody complete with impersonators. More or less, this is Orton replacing Shawn, but lower on the card, as it should be.

Hulk Hogan vs. Randy Orton

Wow Hogan goes on third? That’s very surprising. Unless I’m overlooking something, this is Hogan’s last match to date in WWE. He appeared once other than this at the 15th anniversary where he fought off Khali, but other than that he’s been gone. You know it’s a good thing Vince is rich. He has to pay a lot of money for roofs. Hogan of course gets the legendary pop that he deserves. Ross of course mentions that Hogan has a bad knee. Hulk Hogan doesn’t get hurt you idiot.

Hogan definitely is looking smaller here, but he’s still muscular. The reaction for Hogan really is awesome. I love the old school merchandise like the towel and shirts. The entrance goes on forever just like the old school ones did. This is always fun and this is no exception. This is a much better reaction than he got last year and I think it’s because they got the formula right: Hogan vs. evil. That was the problem with Shawn.

He was still a face so why would we want to see Hogan beat him up? The fans didn’t buy it so while it worked, it wasn’t great. It’s weird seeing someone being taller than Orton. In a head scratcher, Hogan gets put in a headlock and goes down to one knee in just a few seconds. Everyone goes a bit blind as the headband goes off. They use an overhand wristlock and it looks decent. I’m quite surprised. Other than shoving Orton at the beginning, it’s been all Orton.

Dang it why is it that every time I say that the comeback begins? Hogan gets on the second rope and punches him, which for some reason surprises JR. It’s not like this is a new thing for him. He hits a clothesline with authority, which is another term that’s never made sense. How can a clothesline have authority? Can it give you an infraction while you try to start a resistance? The bias for Hogan and his rule breaking will never cease to amuse me.

In a weird time, they mention that the fans from the old AWA days remember the times when he refused to obey the rules. Why not just go with the time he was a heel in the far more famous WCW? Maybe there’s something to that theory of WWE never mentioning WCW because they know it’s better. Orton finally goes for the knee which is what makes sense all along, as given away by the massive knee braces on both legs.

They finally mention that Hogan was the main event of Summerslam 90, which I’ve long since theorized. Apparently Orton is craving to be loved. Thank you Sigmund Ross. Orton slides under the big boot just like Shawn did last year and hits the picture perfect dropkick. Screw Bob Holly. Orton’s dropkick is perfect. Now here we have something that makes me change my mind about a lot of the criticisms that Hogan gets.

Randy hits the RKO and covers, and Hogan doesn’t kick out. He puts his foot on the rope. That’s very subtle but when you think about it, that’s a huge show of respect to Orton. Of all of the big finishers that Hogan has been hit with over the years, I’ve never seen him not kick out of it with that big power move. He didn’t power out of the RKO. He had to use the weaker kickout. That’s a huge show of support for the young kid and it makes him look dominant.

The thing is they never mentioned it as a big deal, despite it being one of the biggest rubs that Hogan has ever given anyone. Anyway, Orton celebrates because he thinks that he’s beaten the legend himself and maybe he has a right to, but Hogan’s foot didn’t go unnoticed by the referee despite the announcers being completely oblivious to it.

Hogan staggers to his feet and limps around in a circle shaking his head which is a truly sad sight to see in my eyes as he just doesn’t have the physical strength anymore to do it the way he used to. We all know how this is going to go. Hogan circles Orton, shakes a finger in his face, kicks him in the head and after about 15 seconds, drops the leg for the pin.

I love how nonchalant Hogan is after the legdrop, as if to say yeah I know he’s not getting up for a month. Lawler marks out like an 8 year old for this and I love that. If this were anyone else I’d hate it but in this case it’s fine as this is Hulk Hogan. He’s the greatest ever and he should be treated as such. As Hogan celebrates we see a guy with a tattoo of Hogan all over his entire back. That’s either creepy or awesome.

Rating: B. This is exactly what a modern Hogan match is supposed to be. You have a young guy that is kind of proven but not quite and he just can’t beat Hogan despite getting close. Now some of you again might say that Hogan didn’t give Randy the rub here, but on a closer look he did.

That lack of a kickout of the RKO was in reality was huge. It made Orton look like a monster because it was enough to stop the super kickout from Hogan, which no other move has ever done in history. That’s about as big of a rub as you could give.

We see a big party that was held yesterday announcing the debut of 24/7. Kennedy is there, which amuses me.

Foley is in the back and Melina comes up and hugs him. Now this was a very interesting storyline that I wish had been given more time to develop. Flair had run down Foley in his book and Foley did the same. There was a real life feud between these two but they’ve since patched things up. Melina was a real life friend of Foley who was stuck in the middle of this for some reason. They had agreed to an I Quit match here after having a pretty bad one at Vengeance.

Ric Flair vs. Mick Foley

Sweet goodness Lillian is amazing looking. Foley brings in some weapons with him. It’s weird seeing Foley more or less as the heel and Flair as the face. There is legit animosity between these two which always helps things get better. Foley jumps him and it’s on. Running knee to the face in the first ten seconds from Foley. And then he does it again with the garbage can.

Mandible Claw goes on and Flair is down. This is more or less a squash almost but Foley grabs the mic and says make it easy on yourself and say it’s over. Naturally it’s not over and Foley gets barbed wire. On his alternate commentary from his DVD, Foley says he felt he didn’t have aggression here and he felt bad about it. Flair wraps barbed wire around his hand and CHOPS FOLEY. This left a HUGE scar on his chest that he shows on the DVD and it’s awful looking.

Barbed wire board is rammed into the face of Flair and he slides under the ring to blade I think. Oh yeah he’s busted open. The fans want tables. Something I’d like to do here is time how long between that chant starting and the amount of time before they’re introduced. Teasing them like that is a great idea as we have to wait for awhile instead of instant gratification.

Barbed wire board dropped on Flair results in him shouting obscenities to Foley. Foley busts out the tacks as there hasn’t been much of anything from Flair here. Flair is slammed onto the tacks for the second time in about two weeks after Show did it to him on ECW recently. Dang there are a ton of tacks in Flair’s arms.

Time for the barbed wire bat here. Flair is bleeding like crazy at this point. And now Flair sends him into the post and beats his arm with the bat. Foley is apparently wearing a Japanese Cactus Jack t-shirt. BIG bump as Foley is on the apron and Flair gets a running start with the bat and sends Foley to the floor and he bangs his head on the concrete. Cue Melina down to the ring to check on Foley who is out and the referee stops it.

Ok never mind as Flair decides that’s not enough so we’re going to keep going. Flair says he didn’t say I Quit so we keep going. He beats on Foley even more until Melina throws the towel in for him and says he quits. Foley still didn’t say I Quit so I don’t get why Flair would accept that either. Oh ok he didn’t. Foley quits seconds later I think after Flair threatens to hit Melina.

Rating: B-. On Foley’s DVD he does commentary for this match and he says that it wasn’t a very good match despite having a massive scar on his chest from the barb wire spot. He said that he never really took this as far as he could have to make it a truly bloody classic, but he thought it was ok. I would have to disagree with him to an extent though as it was at least decent.

Having Melina play into the equation at the end was a great move, despite her turning on Foley and having him fired less than a week later. I also really like the false ending as it makes you wonder how far they’re going to take this one.

Vince and Shane are in the back with Estrada. They more or less say that Umaga will be backing them up tonight. JBL gets in one of the best secretive lines you’ll ever hear as he calls him Armando Ali Baba Estrada. Back in OVW, Estrada played an Iranian character named Osama. That’s a very nice little inside joke.

Smackdown World Title: Booker T vs. Batista

There’s no buildup here other than Booker is champion and Batista never actually lost the title but had to drop it due to injury. Booker’s wife just does nothing but shout “All hail King Booker!” over and over. JBL’s sucking up is quite humorous. She’s at 11 times already. After 15 of them, we finally get Booker’s entrance. Isn’t that in essence a jobber entrance? He’s already in the ring when his announcement is made. Yep, Booker gets no respect.

Batista gets a solid pop but nothing mind blowing. This was one of three consecutive Smackdown PPV main events involving these two, so you really don’t have to think that hard about why there were jokes about how repetitive these shows were. If I remember right these two had a legit fight backstage at some point and Booker beat up Batista with relative ease.

They botch a spinkick spot but I’m not sure who is to blame. Booker throws the kick but Batista wasn’t there so they had to have him keep spinning. It didn’t look that good. We get a loud and long boring chant as the first 2-3 minutes of this is primarily Booker having Batista in a chinlock. Batista is quite rusty here which is certainly playing a role here. Booker hits him with the scepter on the floor, which means Batista is moving even slower than he was before and that’s saying a lot.

Back in to an arm hold, which is the same thing as a chinlock in essence. The crowd chants she’s got herpes at Sharmell. This is just amusing. Booker gets crotched by missing a kick, so Batista, ever the strategist and in ring general, picks him up and drops him the same way over another rope. What’s the point of that? Couldn’t he do something more original than that?

Booker hits a missile dropkick which used to be his finishing move in WCW, yet here is just a run of the mill move and the same thing happens with the Book End. JBL makes a bowling analogy which makes me shake my head. Batista hits a jackhammer which Booker pops up from. I love how neither of these guys have an original move to save their life.

Batista hits a bad full nelson slam to set up the power bomb. Sharmell runs in and slaps Batista for the DQ. Yes that’s actually the finish they went with. Post match Batista beats up Booker and BADLY botches the Batista Bomb. He barely got him up and it looked like he was trying to use it on Khali.

Rating: D. For the second year in a row Batista has the worst match of the night. It was barely over 10 minutes long, it was about 4 and a half minutes of rest holds, and the finish was completely stupid. Batista botches so much out there that it was just horrid. If you want to know where the stigma of Batista sucks comes from, I present to you Exhibit A. This was just flat out awful all around and felt like it belonged on Smackdown.

Jeff Hardy is coming to Raw.

DX is talking to someone who we can’t see and they tell him that Vince said Umaga is the biggest monster in the company.

Recap of DX vs. the McMahons and the feud that Satan is afraid of. This feud went on ALL summer and produced only a handful of decently funny moments. It was way too long and was stupid, primarily as it was DX vs. the Spirit Squad, who were tag champions at the time.

Despite beating them about 5 times, DX never won the tag titles. Why that’s the case is beyond me. It might be because they couldn’t have two major stars as champions. That couldn’t happen. We need our male cheerleaders blast it!

Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon vs. DX

In case you’ve forgotten it, Shawn made his Summerslam debut in a 6 man tag in 1989. Just thought I’d remind you because JR has only said it at the last three Summerslams. We get the traditionally way too long DX intro. Good night Lillian looks great. HHH says that we need to get ready to suck it. Shawn says if you’re not down with that, they’re going to tell you to suck it. Well I’m glad we’ve got so many choices to pick from.

To say JR doesn’t like Vince is an understatement. Apparently one day Vince will run a hostile takeover of the afterlife. Spirit Squad runs out and uses their trampoline to come in. Two backdrops, a toss over the ropes, Sweet Chin Music and a Pedigree later they’re gone and HHH has a new sweatband. Finlay, Regal and Kennedy run out to beat on DX. The McMahons haven’t even left the stage yet in case you were wondering.

While the club from Finlay would usually drop Khali, since it’s used on DX, it has little effect at all. Big Show is here now and as they try to fight him, we finally have some logic as the other EIGHT GUYS that DX beat up finally wake up and help out, so it’s 9 on 2 here with the McMahons still to come. See, this is the first time ever that I can recall where Vince finally had a brain and realized he owned an army of guys to beat up whomever he was feuding with at the time.

He’d always send one at a time. You own the company Vince. Send out 10 guys at once or something to beat the other dude up. See how effective it can be? I really feel sorry for Styles and Tazz as they’ve been sitting there all night doing nothing after calling a single match. That’s just stupid. Why not have them sit up near the entrance so they can at least go sit in the back after their match? HHH goes through the ECW table as Vince and Shane finally are in the ring.

JR is really getting annoying with this running Vince down. We finally have a bell. It’s Vince against Shawn to start. Ross calls the heels the money maniacs. That’s like the main event of Summerslam 88 from my nightmares. HHH is still on the floor from the chokeslam through the table. HHH tries to get up but Shane hits a baseball slide to knock him onto JR and King. Ross flips HHH over as he’s ticked off about being covered by a big sweaty man.

The way it looked was just quite funny. Demolition Decapitator or whatever that move was called lands on Shawn. The McMahons hit a Hart Attack which is just appropriate being used on HBK. This is followed up by a Doomsday Device. This is actually kind of cool. Of course HBK kicks out though and this isn’t even surprising to the announcers. You have to love the power of kayfabe don’t you? Shawn finally gets a tag and HHH looks perfectly fresh.

Even Hulk Hogan thinks a comeback like this is stupid. JR says it’s adrenaline. I say it’s nonsense. As if 9 run ins weren’t enough, we make it a perfect ten as Umaga comes out. Oh wait it’s 11 since Estrada is with him. We now have 15 people in this match, not counting the referee and 4 announcers, all of which have been involved in this match. Counting Lillian, that’s 21 people that have been at ringside that we know the names of and have been involved in this match somehow.

Anyone else think that’s a lot? It turns out that the person DX was talking to was Kane who chases Umaga off to start their feud which, shockingly enough, Kane jobbed in. Shane sets up for Coast to Coast but Shawn…knees him in the leg I guess, to stop it. Of course it’s called Sweet Chin Music. It’s probably good that he did that as Shane would have been about a foot short. Vince takes both finishers to end this mess.

The recaps and celebration goes on for about two and a half minutes just to make sure we know that this was really a huge win for our triumphant heroes. Somewhere around JR’s 8th sports analogy for how amazing DX’s win is, the faces are finally about to leave the arena. Oh wait, we have MORE replays for you. To begin with, they set for their double pose but I think Shawn’s elbow is hurt as he can’t do the double bicep. He was holding it earlier after going ove the top rope with Shane.

They do a very good job of changing the camera angle for the Shane kick as it’s from behind Shawn now and therefore looks like he actually got the kick. That’s very smart and well done so points for that. Some big fat guy comes out about a foot and Shawn sort of acknowledges him, which I’d assume is someone saying to wrap this up as it’s over. I don’t think he was supposed to be on camera.

Rating: C-. This was a very hard one to grade as it’s just a mess. With more than ten people running in that aren’t involved in the match at all, it’s a hard one to grade. However, I’ll give them credit for FINALLY getting the idea behind Vince as the evil owner right. However, at the end of the day, there was too much going on here for it to be taken seriously. The flaw with this feud is simple: DX are former world champions, and Vince and Shane are businessmen.

There’s no reason to believe that the McMahons would have a chance at all here. Granted they got the theory correct by adding in a lot of people that know what they’re doing to make the feud more interesting. It was better than I’m making it sound, but it wasn’t great.

Kane actually helped out a lot here as he took away some of the ridiculous odds for DX. JR needs to shut up though, as for about 20 minutes he did nothing but talk about how great DX was and how evil the McMahons were. It’s one thing to mention it a few times, but he must have cracked the 20s in times he complained about it. It was completely annoying and WAY overdone.

Wrestlemania 23 is in Detroit.

Time for the final recap of the night as we look at Cena vs. Edge. They tried as hard as they could to make this an epic feud and they got as close as possible without actually getting there. Edge won MITB in 2005 and shocked the world by stealing the title in January after an Elimination Chamber win by Cena. I remember watching that match and texting a former friend of mine that was a diehard Cena mark. I told her the next day that Cena lost the title to Edge and she almost fell over.

The reaction was great. Cena got the title back soon enough but Edge won it from RVD on Raw in July. Edge beat up Cena’s father 6 days prior to this, and Cena is the hometown boy here. We cut to the theme song of the show to get more clips from this feud, including the live sex celebration that as I’ve said a dozen times, was nothing special. It truly wasn’t. It was them moving around under a blanket and nothing more. Big freaking deal.

Raw World Title: Edge vs. John Cena

Apparently if Edge gets disqualified he loses the title. Cena gets a VERY mixed reaction. The main selling point here is Cena’s father, which makes a lot of sense actually. Lita needs to freaking cut her bangs. You have a hot face. Show it off. She’s Women’s Champion here which was her final reign I believe. Correction it’s her next to last reign as she would lose to Trish next month in Toronto so Trish could retire as champion.

Lita was gone in November, leaving the whole division completely destroyed, the issues of which are still being felt to this day. This is more or less standard stuff with Edge getting close to a bunch of count out wins. On one of these, Edge knocks Cena to the floor and Cena’s eyes are just hilarious. They’re bugged out all over the place as he looks like he just remembered that Christmas is tomorrow or some other cliché from a bad movie.

For some reason I have My Immortal by Evanescence stuck in my head. As you can tell, this match isn’t holding my attention that well. Fans are solidly behind Edge it would seem. You have to love that in Cena’s hometown he’s still not popular. This was the era that Cena was beginning to be truly despised by a lot of fans in, as he was just constantly shoved down our throats, and it would only get worse as the year long title reign was coming.

However, I think those criticisms are unfair for one simple reason: who else was the title going to go on? HHH would be injured in just a few months, HBK lost to Cena at Mania before feuding with Orton and would leave for knee surgery (which had to be legit. It’s an HBK knee injury after all), and Cena was feuding with Edge right here. In short, who was there left to put the belt on, Umaga? See what I mean? There were no other choices other than for Cena to hold the title.

We get a Cena chant that is a lot stronger than I think it actually was if that makes sense. Cena starts his huge comeback of all his standard stuff, complete with an STFU. Lita sets up with the belt to hit Cena but Edge says no as it would cost him the title. She slips him some brass knucks after he makes the ropes though. FU is countered and Edge nails him in the back of the head with the brass which sounds awesome to end it and the show.

Rating: C+. This was fine, but just fine. It’s nothing epic at all despite what the announcers would like you to believe. There really wasn’t a solid main event this year and it showed bad. This would probably be the best choice for it though, as there’s not a lot that would have topped this.

Either way, the match was just ok, but it felt like the title should have changed here. It would change the next month in Toronto as Cena was booed out of the building, so why wait? Why not have Cena get the big win here in his own hometown? Either way, this was ok but nothing great.

Overall Rating: C+. This show is the epitome of slightly above average. Everything on it is just ok. There isn’t a big moment or a big match that makes it jump off the page at you, as Flair and Foley or Cena/Edge is probably the match of the night by pure default. It’s an ok show and watchable, but it’s nothing great at all.

DX vs. McMahons was ok, but just ok. That’s the only thing I can think of to describe any of the matches on here: ok, but just ok. It’s nothing special at all and because of that, it’s right in the middle of recommended and not recommended. Some might like it but others will be bored out of their minds.

 

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Hidden Gem: Jack’s Last Shot

You might have heard of these two.

NWA World Title Ric Flair vs. Jack Brisco
Date: April 7, 1984
Location: Baltimore Civic Center, Baltimore, Maryland

Flair is defending and this is from Georgia Championship Wrestling. Before the match we hear from some fans who love the show and want to see some matches. We also see Ole Anderson talking to promoter Gary Jester, though at first he messes up and asks “what the f*** is his name”. With that out of the way, we’re joined in progress with Flair not being able to power out of a headlock. Brisco shoulders him down and grabs the headlock again but this time Flair takes him into the corner.

That doesn’t exactly work well as Brisco snapmares him down and puts on a chinlock. More headlock grinding ensues before Briso flips him over by the wrist to start in on the arm. Some armdrags into a short armscissors have Flair n more trouble and Brisco rolls him around the ring for an impressive spot. The hold stays on a bit until Flair finally makes the rope for the break. Brisco’s sunset flip gets two and Flair bails out to the floor for a breather.

Back in and Brisco pounds away with right hands but Flair knocks him away. There’s the knee drop for two and Flair dumps him out to the floor. Back in and Flair’s atomic drop gets two more but Brisco counters the suplex into a sleeper. That’s good for two arm drops but Flair gets back to his feet and belly to back suplexes his way to freedom. Brisco gets in his own suplex and tries his own Figure Four, sending Flair to the rope before it can go on in full. Back up and Brisco blocks a headlock takeover so Flair sticks with the standing version.

A snapmare gives Flair two with his foot on the rope but Brisco is back up with right hands to the face. The Figure Four goes on but Flair is way too close to the rope. Flair is back with the shinbreaker and the Figure Four goes on, only to have Brisco turn it over. That’s escapes as well so Flair heads up top and gets slammed right back down. Brisco loads up a hiptoss but Flair reverses into a cradle (that was sweet) for the pin to retain at 21:14 shown.

Rating: B. The star power alone is enough to make this good but what matters here is how good both of them really are. Brisco may have been way past his prime here but you can believe the possibility that he could pull it off here because it’s Jack Brisco going after the title. Flair could have a classic with anyone at this point and when you put him in there with someone who was also great, the result shouldn’t be a surprise.




Monday Night Raw – March 5, 2007: He Had A Good Reason

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 5, 2007
Location: US Airways Center, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We are less than a month away from Wrestlemania and for once, the build is actually clicking really well. There is a lot of focus on the Battle of the Billionaires, which is hardly the most thrilling story due to the people involved, but just about everything else has my interest. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

John Cena comes up to Shawn Michaels in the back (to a THUNDEROUS CENA chant) and asks what is up with Shawn. Michaels says he isn’t going to turn on him, but Cena wants some more reassurance. What makes this one so different? Shawn: “I don’t know. Maybe it’s not.” Cena has Shawn’s back tonight, but Shawn says he doesn’t need it. That’s not cool with Cena, who will have Shawn’s back. Shawn says he doesn’t want or need Cena’s help and walks off.

Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton

Edge is here with Orton, who punches Shawn down to start. That doesn’t last long, as Shawn is back up with a clothesline out to the floor. Back in and Orton punches him down a few more times, followed by a rather evil rake to the eyes. Orton sends him crashing out to the floor and we take a break. Back with Orton holding a pretty bad Boston crab and Shawn teasing the tap until he makes it over to the rope.

Shawn is back up with a crossbody for two but Orton drops him hard with the hanging DDT. A dropkick sets up the chinlock, which draws Shawn back to his feet for the chops. The atomic drop into the slam sets up the top rope elbow but Sweet Chin Music is countered into the RKO attempt, which is countered with a shove into the referee. Orton hits a clothesline and Edge throws in a title, but the referee intercepts the belt. That’s enough for Shawn to grab a rollup for the fast pin.

Rating: B-. It’s two main eventers getting some time and having a story to set up the match. That’s going to work every time and it was one of the better Raw matches in recent memory as a result. I liked what we got here and you know something else is going to happen after the match to make things that much better. Rather good opener here, which shouldn’t be a surprise.

Post match Edge throws in a chair, with Orton laying Shawn out with an RKO. Cue John Cena for the late save.

We recap Bobby Lashley destroying the cage to crush Umaga on ECW.

Vince McMahon asks Armando Alejandro Estrada what kind of mood Umaga is in tonight against Jeff Hardy. Estrada has something planned and leaves. Coach thinks Vince is worried about the guest referee being named for the Battle of the Millionaires. Vince of course isn’t, because he has made a suggestion, as Chairman of the Board: Shane McMahon.

Intercontinental Title: Umaga vs. Jeff Hardy

Umaga, with Armando Alejandro Estrada, is defending. Hardy avoids an early charge in the corner and they sent outside where Umaga gets dropkicked off the steps. Back in and Umaga blasts him with a clothesline before cannonballing down onto Hardy’s chest. Hardy tries to fight up and gets clotheslined down again, meaning it’s time to go into the Tree of Woe. The running headbutt knocks Hardy silly and it’s the running hip attack into the Samoan Spike to retain the title.

Rating: C-. Total squash here for the most part and that’s what it should have been. Umaga has jumped up the ladder and he should be squashing Hardy at the moment. It did what it was supposed to do and is going to make Bobby Lashley look that much better when he can go toe to toe with Umaga.

We recap Bobby Lashley’s week: brawling with Umaga on Raw, beating Hardcore Holly on ECW and turning down Vince McMahon’s offer to jump on Smackdown.

Some low level celebrities and John Travolta give their picks on the Battle of the Billionaires. Travolta does not seem to have any idea what he is being asked about.

Ric Flair and Carlito are in a Money in the Bank qualifying match tonight and Flair is very confident that he’s winning tonight and at Wrestlemania. Flair: “Why? Because I can. WOO!”

Shane McMahon calls Vince McMahon and thinks the Board of Directors votes how Vince wants. More later.

Here is Jim Duggan to take the Masterlock Challenge. The hold goes on, Duggan is in trouble, the fans chant USA, Duggan can’t fight out, Masters wins. This is about two minutes of the show.

We recap Shawn Michaels getting beaten down until John Cena made the late save.

Shawn isn’t happy with Cena, but will still have his back tonight. Cena doesn’t seem impressed.

Here is Vince McMahon for the announcement about the guest referee. Before we get to that though, Vince has an announcement: next week, Donald Trump will be here to sign the contract for Wrestlemania. If Trump gets out of line, it is going to be the McMahon B**** Slap. As for the guest referee…..here is Eric Bischoff. Don’t worry though because he isn’t the guest referee, but he does live in Phoenix. We hear about the garbage truck firing and Bischoff can’t wait to see Vince bald.

Bischoff leaves and Vince wants the guest referee….so here is Mick Foley in a referee shirt. Vince: “How are the kids?” Vince is clearly nervous and seems to hint at a bribe, but Mick would rather have his old job back. That’s granted, but Mick also wants unlimited access to pop in and plug his new book, the Hardcore Diaries. Oh and could Vince pick up his room service bill, including an adult double feature? Sure on that too, but Foley isn’t the referee for Wrestlemania. He’s the referee for a rib eating contest between Charles Barkley and the Phoenix Suns Gorilla.

Cue the Gorilla so Vince throws them both out as Shane McMahon comes out to replace them. Vince is thrilled, but Shane says they lost. Vince: “If you’re not the guest referee…..” And cue the glass shatter, giving us an all time Vince Face with the Wrestlemania sign behind him. Steve Austin comes out, hits the buckles, won’t shake Vince’s hand, and drinks a lot. He does throw some beer on Vince for old times’ sake and the fans are very pleased. As usual, Austin knows when he doesn’t have to do anything more than the classics without saying a word. The fake referees were great too, with Austin being a perfect payoff.

Post break, Foley leaves with the Gorilla, giving Ron Simmons something to swear about.

Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Melina

Melina is defending, Falls Count Anywhere, and Ashley is guest ring announcer. As luck would have it, Lawler has Ashley’s Playboy, with the expected reactions. They waste no time in brawling to the back with Mickie tossing her over a makeup table. Now it’s time to go into the women’s locker room, with Lawler demanding wider camera angles. Victoria goes after Mickie but Torrie Wilson hairsprays Melina in the face. Candice Michelle pops up in a towel, which is ripped off in a hurry.

They head back into the arena and the ring with Mickie throwing her around by the hair over and over. Melina is sat on top for a super hurricanrana but holds on, leaving Mickie to crash ONTO HER HEAD, allowing Melina to get the pin. That was terrifying and I would hope not how it was planned.

Rating: D+. Well that was completely terrifying and not something I ever need to see again. Mickie crashed down hard and thankfully they got straight to the pin after that. The Falls Count Anywhere stuff was little more than a way to feature some of the other women and Ashley’s Playboy gets another plug. I don’t know how much the match mattered, but that is often the case with the title.

Post match Melina goes to yell at Ashley, who shoves her down. Ashley helps Mickie to her feet, which is quite the relief.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Carlito vs. Ric Flair

Torrie Wilson is here with Carlito. Flair gets backed into the corner to start and stomps away until Flair chops his way to freedom. Carlito knocks him down again though and stomps away, setting up a snap suplex for two. The left hands are rained down so Flair chops away even more. The knee drop gets two and Flair grabs a chinlock. That’s broken up as well, allowing Carlito to hit the springboard back elbow….and here is Great Khali to jump them both. There is no bell so we’ll call that a no contest, meaning no winner.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have time to do much but it wasn’t going to be very good in the first place. The story works well enough but it isn’t like this is a great idea. Flair as a mentor to Carlito is still a little weird, but so is barely having Carlito ever win anything. I’d assume one turns on the other in the end, though that could take some time.

Post match Khali says he wants Kane.

Here’s the Steve Austin appearance again.

Austin will be on ECW.

The newest Hall of Fame inductee is…..Nick Bockwinkel. That would be this year’s “how is he not in already” entrant.

Randy Orton makes it very clear to Edge: he does NOT have his back tonight.

John Cena vs. Edge

Non-title….and non-Edge at first as MNM comes out instead. Cue Edge to say he is a civil rights activist (yes) and since Arizona was one of the last states to recognize Martin Luther King Jr. Day, something needs to be done. Johnny Nitro’s great great grandmother was Black so he’s getting to face Cena instead. I really was not expecting that one so well done….maybe?

John Cena vs. Johnny Nitro

Non-title with the rest of MNM and Edge at ringside. Nitro kicks him down to start and sends him outside, where Mercury gets in a posting. Cena goes into the steps and it’s a chinlock to keep him down back inside. That’s broken up with raw power and Cena starts the clothesline comeback. The ProtoBomb into the Shuffle means Cena has to knock Edge off the apron. The AA is broken up by Mercury for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Another match that didn’t have time to go anywhere and was only there to set something up going forward. Edge’s line to get out of the match was completely out there, but it worked well for the kind of coward that he can be. Barely a match of course, but Nitro isn’t feeling like a complete accident in these roles anymore.

Post match the beatdown, including the Snapshot, is on. Cue Shawn Michaels, who teases running in for the save but turns around….only to run in and save Cena. Now it’s Cena’s change to be confused to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The wrestling wasn’t very good here outside of the opener but the Steve Austin surprise worked well. They have the card set and now it is time to hammer things home. There are still a few weeks to go until Wrestlemania so hopefully the feuds have been mapped out well. Otherwise you run out of ideas in a hurry and the last few weeks are awful. Not a great show here, but Wrestlemania is looking strong.

 

 

 

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Summerslam Count-Up – Summerslam 2002 (2013 Redo): The Next (Really) Big Thing

Summerslam 2002
Date: August 25, 2002
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial, Uniondale, New York
Attendance: 14,797
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Jim Ross

The main story coming into this show would be the Brand Split but that’s not really an issue here as the main four PPVs weren’t brand exclusive. As for the show itself it’s another double main event with Rock defending his WWE (yeah E) Title against a beast named Brock Lesnar and the returning Shawn Michaels fighting his best friend HHH in a street fight. This is considered one of the best shows of all time so hopefully it holds up. Let’s get to it.

There’s no opening video this year for some reason.

Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio

Rey beat Angle in a tag match and has been an annoyance for him lately. This is right after Mysterio debuted as part of probably the best year for new talent in company history. In 2002 WWE got Mysterio, Brock Lesnar, Batista, Randy Orton and a guy named Cena. This is when Rey’s knees weren’t held together by glue so it should be awesome. Rey comes in from behind and takes Angle down with a quick springboard dropkick but he has to go to the ropes to escape the ankle lock. An early 619 attempt misses and Angle pulls him to the floor. Very fast start.

Angle kicks at the leg as they come back in. An uppercut staggers Rey and a wheelbarrow suplex puts him down. Rey grabs the rope to avoid a German and gets a quick two off a rollup. Kurt gets two off a backbreaker and bends Rey’s back around the ropes. The fans are all over Angle but he shrugs off some forearms and catches a headscissors into a side slam for two.

Off to a wicked half crab on Rey but he somehow sneaks out and gets two off a rollup. Kurt takes his head off with a clothesline, only to get caught in a jawbreaker. Rey tries to speed things up but walks into the overhead belly to belly. There go the straps but Rey armdrags out of the Angle Slam and sends Angle to the floor. Rey loads up a dive but the referee stops him, drawing the most heat of the night. Mysterio will have none of that and dives OVER THE REFEREE to take Angle out.

Back in and a springboard legdrop gets two as the crowd is on fire. Rey tries a victory roll but gets caught in the ankle lock. Mysterio rolls out and send Angle to the ropes for the 619. The West Coast Pop gets a VERY close two and a spinwheel kick puts Angle down again. Mysterio goes up top but Angle runs the ropes for the suplex, only to have Rey flip over him but he tweaks the ankle on the landing. He’s fine enough to pop back up and dropkick Angle on the corner though and he loads up a hurricanrana. Angle falls forward on it though and the ankle lock is good for the submission.

Rating: A-. EXCELLENT opener here with Mysterio showing he could hang with anyone in the company. He really was amazing to watch when he wasn’t banged up and bloated like he is today and this might be his best match ever. This was a great choice for an opener and both guys looked amazing.

Eric Bischoff (Raw) and Stephanie McMahon (Smackdown) agree to share the GM’s office tonight.

Chris Jericho vs. Ric Flair

Flair is a legend, Jericho is a young punk. This led to Jericho running down Flair over and over again so Flair destroyed a bunch of Jericho’s band Fozzy’s equipment as they were performing on Raw. Jericho takes him into the corner so Flair slaps him in the face. Feeling out process to start as Flair looks to be in a dancing mood tonight. A backdrop puts Flair down and a belly to back suplex does the same.

Back up and Flair hits some LOUD chops to take over. They head to the corner and it’s Jericho firing off some chops of his own to set up a Flair Flip in the corner. A clothesline puts Flair on the floor and Jericho hits an elbow off the top to crush him against the barricade. Back in and Jericho fires off punches before doing a little dance. The Canadian gets two off a middle rope missile dropkick and chokes Flair with some tape. Flair fires off some chops but gets dropped by a single right hand.

Jericho goes up top but Flair pulls a page out of every opponent he’s ever had to slam him down. Chris misses a charge into the corner and Flair backdrops him down. NOW we go to school but Jericho escapes a suplex and tries the Walls. Flair rolls out but Jericho hits an enziguri to put Naitch down again.

The Lionsault misses and Flair goes back to the chops to take over. Flair tries a half crab but Jericho escapes and puts Flair in the Figure Four. Ric makes the rope but taps out anyway, which isn’t a submission apparently. There’s a rule clarification if you ever need one. The referee goes to tell the timekeeper that the match is still going, allowing Flair to hit a low blow and put on the Figure Four for the submission. Don’t bother setting up the move or anything Ric.

Rating: C. I’m sorry for not having much of note to say but it’s almost impossible to add stuff to good matches. Nice match here as Flair gets to be the dirtiest player in the game again but it wasn’t anything spectacular. Jericho was still awesome as a heel and it felt good to see Flair make a comeback and beat him in the middle of the ring. This was at a point when Flair could still look decent in a pair of trunks so it wasn’t an embarrassment at all.

Heyman gives Brock a pep talk for the main event tonight. Brock is in Rock’s head and the next big thing arrives tonight. This is when Brock was the unstoppable monster instead of being HHH cannon fodder for a year. I still can’t get over that it lasted that long.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Edge

Edge is still finding his footing as a singles guy and the potential is through the roof, so the solution is the same as it was with DDP back in 97: put him with really talented people who can make him look awesome. This resulted in Edge vs. Regal, Angle and Guerrero for about six months, making everyone love Edge like few thought possible. Apparently Eddie is jealous of Edge’s popularity and his status as a sex symbol. Cole’s words, not mine.

Technical stuff to start until Edge suplexes Eddie to the apron but gets his neck snapped across the top rope. Edge comes back with a hot shot and a standing powerslam for two before tying Eddie up in the ropes. There’s the spear to Eddie’s ribs but Eddie avoids the second attempt to send the Canadian to the floor. Edge is holding his shoulder (the spear arm) and Eddie has something to focus on. The bad shoulder goes into the steps and Edge is in trouble.

Back in and Eddie DDTs the arm before driving some elbows into the shoulder. A jumping DDT to the arm off the top gets two and it’s off to a keylock. Edge finally gets to a rope so Eddie stomps even harder on the shoulder. Now it’s a cross face chickenwing of all moves shifted into a Fujiwara Armbar. Back up and Eddie belly to back suplexes him down but stays on the arm with a top wristlock. Edge finally slams him down to get a breather and fires off some clotheslines.

The half nelson faceplant gets two and Edge suplexes Eddie to the floor. A cross body off the top to the floor puts Guerrero down but Edge injures the shoulder again. Back in and Edge goes up but has to counter a superplex into a front superplex for two on Eddie. Edge loads up the spear but Eddie dropkicks him in the shoulder to put him down.

The frog splash hits knees and there’s the Edgecution for two. Another Edgecution is countered into a northern lights and Eddie hits the frog splash onto the bad shoulder for two. Some IDIOTS are chanting boring at this. Eddie goes up again but gets slammed down allowing Edge to hit the spear (with the bad shoulder with no problem) for the pin.

Rating: B-. This was chugging right along until the STUPID ending. You cannot have Eddie working over on the arm for ten minutes and then hit the finisher like it’s nothing. What’s the point in even working on the arm if that’s how you end the match? It was going fine until that point but the ending just stopped it cold, much like the spear should have done for Edge.

The Un-Americans are ready to beat Booker T and Goldust to prove that America sucks. The only bad part though is they have to do it here in Long Island. This is a classic gimmick and would work at almost any point in history.

Raw Tag Titles: Goldust/Booker T vs. Un-Americans

The Un-Americans are Lance Storm and Christian (with Test) and they have the gold coming in. Goldust and Christian start with the Canadian being run over and uppercutted down for two. Off to Storm who gets caught in an atomic drop and it’s Booker T in to fire off right hands. Booker drops a big knee for two and brings in Goldust, only to have Storm poke him in the eye to take over.

The fans chant USA like the true xenophobes they are. We get some classic heel cheating as the Canadians double team until Christian gets two off a backbreaker. Back to Storm who walks into a kind of Boss Man Slam but Christian distracts the referee so the hot tag doesn’t count. The beating continues but Goldust catapults Christian into Storm to buy himself some time.

Goldust slaps the mat to try to fire up the crowd but Storm takes out Booker again so there’s no one for Goldie to tag. The champions miss a Conchairto and NOW the hot tag goes through. Booker cleans house and lays in the chops to Christian. A missile dropkick gets two but Booker accidentally superkicks the referee. Booker hits a double ax kick to take out both champions and there’s the Spinarooni. Christian is kicked down but here’s Test with a big boot to lay out Booker, giving Christian the pin.

Rating: D+. This was a BIG step down from what we’ve had so far tonight. The match was just dull and nothing we haven’t seen done better a hundred times. Booker and Goldust had chemistry and fan support so we had to wait four months for them to get the titles. The Un-Americans were a find midcard heel act but the titles should have changed here.

Nidia is at The World (WWF New York) and makes out with a fan for some reason.

Bischoff and Stephanie continue their stupid back and forth.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit is defending and a Smackdown guy in this brand vs. brand match. Van Dam hits some quick kicks to send Benoit to the outside but Benoit takes him down back inside. Van Dam spins away from a kick in the corner and hits a spinning cross body out of the corner for two. Benoit ducks another kick and hits a great release German suplex to take over. An elbow to the face gets two more for Benoit and it’s time to work on the back.

Benoit gets another near fall off a backbreaker and a snap suplex gets the same. Off to an armbar as Benoit wants the shoulder now. Rob gets some quick twos off rollups but Benoit runs him over with another elbow to the face. Benoit runs into a boot in the corner but the split legged moonsault hits knees. The Swan Dive misses but Benoit rolls away from the Five Star as well.

Now the Crossface goes on for a good while but Van Dam makes the ropes. The challenger goes up but Benoit shoves him off the top and shoulder first into the barricade. Back in and Benoit hits a shoulder breaker (see that people? It’s called psychology. LEARN IT!) for two as the fans are distracted by something. Benoit wisely puts on a rest hold until their attention is back again.

They trade cross arm chokes with Benoit taking over again. Van Dam kicks his leg out but misses Rolling Thunder, allowing Benoit to put on the Crossface again. Rob elbows out but gets rolled up for two. Benoit goes back to the arm and sends him shoulder first into the post. A northern lights suplex onto the arm has Van Dam….looking confused and two more don’t really change that.

Back to the Crossface and Van Dam looks more annoyed than anything else. Rob (with his hair down for maybe the only time I ever remember) makes the rope and puts a Crossface on Benoit for a few seconds. A jumping kick to the face puts Benoit down for two and now Rolling Thunder connects.

Van Dam hits a shoulder to the ribs but injures the shoulder again (thanks for selling Rob). Not that it matters though as he kicks Benoit in the face for two. Rob gets crotched on the top but counters a belly to back superplex into a cross body to put both guys down. Van Dam pops up and hits the Five Star for the pin and the title. Extra points for Rob doing the finger point from the mat when he’s announced as the new champion.

Rating: B. This bad shoulder selling is getting on my nerves. Benoit had RVD in one of the best submissions ever three different times and Van Dam looked like he had a five year old child on his leg. The rest of the match however was very solid with Rob hanging in there with Benoit who was his usual awesome self.

Stephanie, having just lost the IC Title to Raw (giving them all the belts I believe) laughs. This story continued to not make sense until they just gave up.

Video on the Un-Americans who hate American. Undertaker wasn’t going to stand for this and turned face to deal with them. Well among other reasons but this was his first major feud as a face.

Undertaker vs. Test

Feeling out process to start with Taker sending Test into the corner and cranking on the arm. A big clothesline takes Test down for two but he shoves the referee into the ropes to break up Old School. Test sends him into the steps and into the turnbuckle to keep Taker in trouble. A running clothesline in the corner staggers Taker and it’s off to an armbar. Taker suplexes out but misses an elbow drop as this continues to drag.

Test misses an elbow as well and now Old School connects. Snake Eyes connects but Test ducks the big boot. Taker shoves him off and hits the chokeslam for two. Christian and Storm come in as a distraction but take a chokeslam each, allowing Test to hit his big boot for two. Test tries a chair shot but hits the ropes, sending it back into his own face. The Tombstone finishes this.

Rating: D. This wasn’t horrible but come on. It’s Undertaker vs. Test at the second biggest show of the year with Test being as an Un-American. Did you really expect ANY other result here? The match was passable enough but it’s definitely the lame match on the show. To be fair though it’s not even nine minutes long and it’s not a disaster.

Now let’s get to the real reason this show rocks.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. HHH. They were best friends back in the late 90s but Shawn broke his back and had to retire. Over the next four years, HHH rose to the top of the company and a higher level than Shawn ever achieved. Shawn came back to Raw and offered to reform DX, but HHH laid him out, saying they were never friends and he just used Shawn.

Then someone rammed Shawn through a windshield and HHH vowed to find out who it was. Shawn found security video revealing it was HHH, who said he did it to prove Shawn is vulnerable. Shawn’s doctors said he’d make a full recovery. Say by, Summerslam? The match isn’t sanctioned and is a street fight because it couldn’t be anything else. This is a great example of a feud based on hatred instead of some convoluted idea and it made the match much better.

Shawn Michaels vs. HHH

Shawn is in jeans tonight to hide the knee braces. Michaels comes out with right hands but HHH sends him to the outside. Not that it matters as Shawn is right back inside with more right hands. HHH is tossed to the floor and Shawn hits a nice dive to take him out. Remember that this is Shawn’s first match since March of 1998, or four and a half years ago.

A clothesline puts HHH down again and it’s garbage can time. HHH gets in a shot to the ribs and drops Shawn face first onto the barricade to get a breather. Shawn comes back in and is tossed over the top again but he skins the cat to a big pop. A trashcan shot caves in HHH’s head and a top rope fist to the head puts him down again. Shawn tunes up the band but HHH counters into a backbreaker to get to the meat of the match.

Another backbreaker has Shawn in agony and flopping like a fish as only he can. HHH gives a crotch chop and kicks Shawn down with ease. It’s chair time but a shot to the back only gets two. Shawn escapes a suplex into an O’Connor Roll for two but walks into a facebuster. A DDT onto the chair is only good for two but Shawn is busted open. HHH takes off Shawn’s belt and whips him in the back as the screaming continues.

And now it’s sledgehammer time. Shawn gets in some shots to the ribs to escape and HHH drops the hammer. The fans are behind HBK but he gets whipped into the corner and it’s off to the abdominal stretch. HHH gets caught holding the ropes and Hebner physically breaks the hold before yelling HHH into the corner. They slug it out again and HHH loads up a superplex but Shawn shoves him off, only to get crotched. HHH blasts Shawn’s wide open back with the chair and the crowd is somber.

A backbreaker onto the chair has Shawn lying motionless but HHH only gets two. He covers a few more times and HHH is very frustrated. A side slam onto the chair gets another two as JR screams for a fast count. Shawn counters a Pedigree onto the chair with a low blow and both guys are down. The HBK chant starts up again and HHH has the chair superkicked into his face. Now HHH is busted open too and Shawn slugs away before hitting the forearm and the nipup to blow the roof off the place.

Shawn backdrops him down and cracks HHH in the head with the chair. HHH is whipped over the corner and out to the floor where Shawn gets to beat on him with the belt. Shawn knocks him onto the announce table and hits him in the head with Hugo Savinovich’s shoe (Lawler: “A heel for a heel!”). HHH is sent into the steps and here’s a ladder being slammed into HHH’s face.

Some shots to the ribs have HHH screaming and the ladder is placed against the post with HHH being catapulted face first into the steel. That’s only good for two so Shawn heads outside again to get the ladder. HHH baseball slides the ladder into Michaels and pounds away at the cut head. For some reason HHH tries to come in off the top and gets caught in a superplex for two.

The crowd is losing their minds off these kickouts. A sunset flip gets two for Shawn but he gets caught by the knee to the face for two. HHH brings in the steps but Shawn drop toeholds him face first into the steel. A clothesline puts HHH on the floor and Shawn pulls out a table. Well why not since we’ve used everything else.

Shawn puts him on the table and splashes him from the top rope in the big spot of the match. Both guys are DONE and the fans are in awe. Shawn sends the ladder back inside, says he loves us all, and drops the elbow from the top. Michaels has that look in his eye and tunes up the band but HHH catches the kick coming in. He loads up the Pedigree but Shawn sweeps the legs and rolls HHH up for the pin to blow the roof off the place again.

Rating: A+. Anyone who has read my stuff over the years knows I do not like a lot of things about HHH. For tonight, forget all that because this is one of the best matches of all time. I’ve seen this match several times and it still had me smiling to see Shawn make comeback after comeback and give HHH every single thing he deserved. It goes to show how great Shawn is as he came in after being gone nearly FIVE YEARS and does this. That’s remarkable when you think about it and is one of the greatest performances of all time.

Let’s talk about the match a little bit. It’s an excellent example of how to book a comeback, which is probably Shawn’s greatest strength. Shawn had the people believing that he was DEAD but he kept hanging in there time after time and made the huge comeback just like the crowd wanted. The other thing that works so well is the ending which a lot of people overlook.

The crux of this match was the destruction of both guys and seeing how far they could take it. At the end though, Shawn uses a basic wrestling counter and a cradle to win, totally shifting gears and beating HHH, the Cerebral Assassin, by thinking. That’s INCREDIBLE psychology and the perfect way to end this match. All in all, it’s a masterpiece and arguably the best performance of all time, all things considered.

Post match HHH becomes the universal evil by hitting Shawn square in the back with the sledgehammer and leaving him laying. Shawn is taken out on a stretcher.

Now that we’ve had that amazing match, it’s time for something completely stupid. Howard Finkel of all people has something to say. He’s been here forever and while Major League Baseball may be going on strike, he’ll be here forever. This brings out Trish Stratus who slapped him in the face recently. Howard insults Long Island women and Trish says he has a sexy voice. He makes penis references and they hug but it’s a ruse to have Lillian Garcia come in and kick Howard low.

We recap Rock vs. Lesnar. Brock is the new monster and Rock is the warrior champion and there isn’t much more to it than that. The videos of Rocky going through special training (actually for The Rundown) were pretty awesome.

WWF World Title: The Rock vs. Brock Lesnar

Lesnar has his agent Paul Heyman with him. Rock charges into the ring and walks into a belly to belly suplex for two. Lesnar hits a pair of backbreakers for two and we head to the floor with Brock clotheslining him into the crowd. Apparently Rock has bad ribs coming into this match. Back in and Brock hits another overhead belly to belly suplex for two before dropping some elbows. A powerslam puts Rock down for two as this is one sided so far. Brock fires off some shoulder in the corner but misses a charge and hits the post.

Rock hits a belly to back suplex of his own and both guys are down. Both guys nip up at the same time and Rock isn’t sure what to think. Rock hits some clotheslines but it takes three of them to finally drop Brock. The champion hooks a Sharpshooter and Brock is in trouble. Heyman throws in a chair which distracts Rocky, allowing Lesnar to to get out and blast Rock in the ribs with the chair. Off to the bearhug which ended Hogan and takes Rock down to the mat here.

The fans are entirely behind Lesnar here which is very strange to hear. Rock doesn’t let his arm drop a third time and now we get a Rocky chant. The champion finally escapes the hold but gets a hard shoulder into the ribs to slow him down again. Rock comes out of the corner with a running clothesline and the crowd reaction is mixed at best. A series of right hands knocks Lesnar out to the floor and Rock loads up the announce table. After scaring Heyman to death, Rock launches Lesnar face first into the post.

There’s a Rock Bottom through the table for Heyman and the announcers couldn’t be happier. Back in and the Rock Bottom hits Lesnar for a VERY close two. The fans shift affiliation again, now cheering for Brock. Their current hero hits a Rock Bottom of his own for two and both guys stagger to their feet. Rock hits the spinebuster but as he loads up the Elbow, Brock pops up and hits a HUGE clothesline. Here comes the F5 but Rock escapes and tries the Rock Bottom. That and another attempt at the same move are both countered and the F5 gives Lesnar the title.

Rating: B-. The match was just ok until the very hot finish, but the last two minutes or so made up for a lot of the earlier problems. This was a great example of how to make a guy like Lesnar look like a monster. Rock left to film The Rundown immediately after this so Lesnar was the only one left standing. Great way to put Brock over here and a pretty solid match overall.

Lesnar celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: A+. As I said this is considered one of the best shows of all time and it’s easy to see why. The main event was the start of a new era in the company, there’s a masterpiece of a match, the upper half of the card is stacked and the worst match is passable. I can’t put it as high as Wrestlemania X7 on the all time scale but the fact that it’s even in the conversations speaks volumes. This is absolutely worth seeing though and HHH vs. Shawn is must see.

Ratings Comparison

Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: A+

Redo: A-

Chris Jericho vs. Ric Flair

Original: B

Redo: C

Eddie Guerrero vs. Edge

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Un-Americans vs. Booker T/Goldust

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Benoit

Original: B

Redo: B

Undertaker vs. Test

Original: D

Redo: D

Shawn Michaels vs. HHH

Original: A+

Redo: A+

The Rock vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Still a masterpiece.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/05/history-of-summerslam-count-up-summerslam-2002-best-summerslam-ever/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Summerslam Count-Up – Summerslam 2002 (Original): It’s Worth Talking About

Summerslam 2002
Date: August 25, 2002
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial, Uniondale, New York
Attendance: 14,797
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Jim Ross

Another year and more changes have occurred. The main one is simple: the Brand Split. Yes, Raw and Smackdown are now two separate shows etc. However, there is an Undisputed World Champion and his name is the Rock. He’s defending tonight against the greatest rookie sensation of all time: Brock Lesnar. No one had EVER seen anything like Brock and they likely never will. He took the company and the business by storm, winning the shot by beating RVD in the KOTR final.

There were even rumblings that he could actually win the title tonight but that could never happen. What a silly idea. Your other main event is the return of HBK, facing HHH in what is considered a classic. This show is considered to be a rival to Wrestlemania 17 as the greatest WWF PPV of all time, or at least of the new millennium. Now I watched this show a few months after it aired and I remember it being good but not great. Let’s see if this is as good as it’s built up to be.

Oh also, two months prior to this, a new branch of the National Wrestling Alliance debuted: NWA: TNA.

Oh it’s also WWE now.

No opening video this year. That kind of sucks.

Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio

No real buildup here other than they don’t like each other. Given the amount of matches that they have to put together now, that’s the sacrifice that they had to make I suppose. Angle is wearing red and white stripes with a blue star, making him look like a barber pole. This was back when Rey’s knees weren’t falling apart yet and was close to what he was in WCW, which is to say, amazing. This is about as perfect of a pairing as you could want.

Rey is fast enough to wrestle with heavyweights, while Kurt is small enough and versatile enough to keep up with him. Going for Rey’s ankle makes sense as it could ground him and take away his best asset, so what’s not to like? My answer: nothing. This has been a very  good match so far. The fans are very hot for this too so that’s always a perk. Rey keeps getting closer and closer here but Angle keeps getting up.

What you have to keep in mine here is that at the time, Rey wasn’t a huge star like he is now. He was a rookie that only had a handful of experience outside of the cruiserweight ranks. Think of him like a better Evan Bourne and think of Angle like Jericho. Imagine Bourne and Jericho opening a PPV and Bourne getting so close every time but just not being able to put Jericho away, but Jericho can’t win either. That’s where you get this match.

These guys are killing each other out there and it’s great, as neither can put the other away. Rey gets Angle on the floor but the referee won’t let him dive. Rey says screw it and jumps over the referee and lands on Angle in a sweet looking front flip (Do a barrel roll!).

619 (which in WCW wasn’t an attack but rather a fake out) and West Coast Pop get two as Rey doesn’t know what to do. Rey goes up top and flips forward to avoid Kurt and goes for a hurricanrana. Angle more or less jumps forward and grabs the ankle. He goes to the middle and just cranks on it until Rey taps.

Rating: A+. Awesome match. That’s the only way to describe this. These two just went out there and did it. This was back when Rey was relatively healthy before his knees just got destroyed. He’s still good now, but back then he was insane. Rey in WCW was the most fun I’ve ever had watching a wrestler.

If you think Bourne is good, Rey from back then would run circles around him. This was as close as Rey ever got to that in WWE, and it was great. Find this match and watch it as it’s absolutely great. Screw it, this gets an A+.

Stephanie is mad that Bischoff is in her office but she agrees to share it with him for the night, as she proves she just can’t act.

Ross and Lawler are talking about the show, but for some reason they had them really far away from the ring back then. It made no sense to me and just looked odd.

Chris Jericho vs. Ric Flair

Again, no backstory. We get a clip from them fighting on Raw, including Flair breaking all of Fozzy’s equipment, but it’s never explained why they’re fighting in the first place. This was when Flair was still fairly mobile and not all old and disturbing looking. He was only 52 and still could be decent in the ring. Being in there with Jericho is going to help as Jericho can wrestle Flair’s style, and is smart enough to know how to wrestle a Flair match.

See, Flair is considered one of the best of all time because he knew what he did best and it worked with anyone. Flair had a formula, and all he had to do was plug his opponent into that formula for the majority of the match and then have the finish. This was exactly what he did throughout his career in WCW and it hardly ever failed. Yes, Flair’s matches are pretty standard, but they’re also pretty good. I mean his stuff from when he was in his prime mind you.

Go back and watch some of that stuff from the NWA in the mid to late 80s and tell me if you can find a truly bad match. Now not everything is going to be a classic of course, but he hardly ever had a truly bad match. On the rare occasions that he did, it was because the other guy wanted to run the style of the match, which traditionally meant Dusty Rhodes. Rhodes was notorious for insisting on having his style of match, which worked for him and him alone.

Go watch their Starrcade matches and you’ll see what I mean. It’s just not looking like a normal Flair match and it just isn’t that good. Granted, this could be because Dusty just was awful in the ring as he couldn’t go for more than 5 minutes without resting. He was lazy on a snapmare in that match. It’s one of the most basic moves in wrestling and he’s lazy with it.

Anyway, the point of this rant was that at the end of the day, the reason Flair’s stuff was bad near the end of his career was the matches stopped playing to his strengths and became based on what the other guy could do. Flair made a career out of taking a guy that was good and making him great by making him look great.

Look at Sting. He was a good wrestler, but his rivalry with Flair is where he got noticed, because Flair made him look great. In WWE, Vince didn’t let this happen and it caused Flair to look bad and the guys that were against Flair didn’t look as good as they could have.

Ok, rant over at least for now. Once I get going in those things I just can’t stop. For some reason we don’t have Flair’s normal music. It’s the weird imitation that he had back in 92. We’re a minute into this match and they’re already talking about how he beat Rock and Austin in one night. My goodness that is never going to leave. It’s a huge deal but good grief let it die. The WOOS are loud tonight.

This is a stat that blew me away. Jericho has been around for a LONG time right? He was 2 when Flair debuted. That’s just ridiculous. Flair has been wrestling almost as long as Jericho, a veteran at this point, had been alive. Jericho calls a spot to Flair in fairly obvious fashion. He just leans over and whispers it to him. It’s scary to think that Flair, at 52, has miles better cardio than most of the roster in their 20s and 30s. This match has been very physical to say the least.

There are so many little things that Flair does that show why he’s great. It’s not a bunch of big impressive moves with a few botches here or there. It’s a simple, basic style that has practically zero mistakes in it. In other words, it’s not about what he’s doing well. It’s about what he’s not doing wrong. Then the little things like getting the referee looking somewhere else to use a bunch of punches. He plays to the crowd well too.

How sad is it that so many people today would be clueless about how to do this? We get a cool sequence where Flair goes for the Boston Crab and Jericho gets a figure four, showing how fairly stupid it is to have finishers like that which almost anyone can do. That’s why I like the liontamer, the one with the knee in the back, more. No one else uses it. Apparently over time the amount of points that the figure four puts pressure on has gone from 5 in Gordon Solie’s days to 7 now.

In a brilliant move, Flair grabs the ropes and taps. The thing is, since the hold should be broken, the submission can’t count. That’s a very smart thing to do as it buys him a lot of time. Referee gets a thumb in the eye, or maybe a short knee (rep for the first person that gets what I’m talking about) allowing Flair to low blow Jericho and put on the figure four. Anyone think it’s a bit sexual looking when Flair bounces up and down while in it? Yeah I never thought that either. Jericho taps.

Rating: B. While not as good as the other match, this was still very solid. As good as Flair is though, I’m not sure I’m sold on him practically beating Jericho, who was world champion earlier in the year, clean. It was a very good match with Flair being the better of the two, but still, it just had me kind of wondering.

Promo for Hogan DVD.

Heyman is with Lesnar and talks about him ending Hogan’s career. Lesnar is a freaking tank.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Edge

Dang 3 matches and 6 world champions. Again, very limited backstory here as they just don’t have the time to do it. As awesome as Edge’s old music was, he desperately needs something more hardcore at this point. He’s rocking the glasses and the trench coat though so you can see the future Edge trying to get out. However, in less than 6 months he’d be out for over a year, so that kind of got put on hold.

Apparently Eddie is upset about Edge being popular and a sex symbol (really?). That’s almost creepy given who Edge would be married to on WWE TV. Just as I say that about Edge’s injury, he might have gotten hurt. He has a bit of a stinger according to Tazz, who would know something about having a Steve Borden. If he is hurt, Eddie doesn’t seem to care at all.

In case you didn’t know, Edge is a HUGE face here and way over with the crowd. Apparently it’s Edge’s shoulder….er neck…..maybe shoulder…..can the commentators make up their freaking minds?? Either way, Eddie is crushing him right now. Eddie is just going insane on Edge’s shoulder, so if nothing else we have a simple story going on that works really well. If nothing else, how can Edge spear someone if his shoulder is killing him without hurting himself really badly?

The main thing of this match is nothing more than Eddie working over the shoulder. Frog Splash misses but after a brief Edge comeback including the Impaler, Eddie hits a splash down onto the shoulder. Of course, because he’s the charismatic face though, Edge is able to spear Eddie without his arm falling off for the pin.

Rating: C+. The ending just ruined this for me. I got into Eddie’s shoulder work, but then when Edge more or less no sold it at the end, it was a total waste in my eyes. What’s the point in working an injury and taking away a guy’s finishing move if the other guy is just going to no sell it and use his move anyway? That was just bad and made me shake my head, which sucks as the match was pretty good.

Tag Titles: UnAmericans vs. Booker T/Goldust

Now this was a gimmick that I thought was very solid. Christian and Lance Storm represent the UnAmericans here, with Test being the third member of the trio. In short: they don’t like America. They were given the tag titles but very soon after this the gimmick was just completely dropped. I’ve never quite gotten why though. Either way, the odd thing here was that Booker and Goldust were also a team, yet they have absolutely nothing in common.

Hearing the announcers try to give them something in common really is quite funny. The fact that they’re both from Texas never really seemed to sink in. Either way, they were a fairly decent team, albeit they were far more comedic than serious, but Booker would be pushed towards the title picture soon and then put into a serious team with RVD, so all is good I suppose.

Anyway, on with the match. Hearing Lawler try desperately to make Booker and Goldust pro-America is rather interesting, as he compares them to the Great American Melting Pot without ever referring to it as such. The USA chants are really loud to say the least, so if nothing else the heels are drawing heat like they’re supposed to be. Ross’ repetition is nothing short of annoying.

Goldust hits a Bossman Slam as I try to come up with a connection between those two and it’s not working. We get a classic ref didn’t see the tag spot which needs to be done more often. It’s as simple of a way to draw heat as there is in a tag match. This crowd is HOT. Booker gets his own chant as he’s clearly the big star in this match. We knew he was a big deal, but they didn’t push him as such until March, when he was fed to HHH.

Oddly enough, HHH had everyone on the planet fed to him until tonight when he let Shawn, his old buddy, have a classic with him. It’s not like these jokes have no basis in reality, but I’ll save that rant for later…maybe. Anyway, Booker finally gets the hot tag to a huge pop. He throws chops at Christian so fast that the crowd can’t WOO fast enough. That’s actually pretty impressive.

Booker hits his missile dropkick which would have won him the world title in WCW but since this is the WWF and Christian is for some reason popular, he kicks out at two. It always amazes me how a finishing move can just lose its power over the course of a year. Booker spins up as Mark Madden gets another ego boost.

The faces dominate for a good while until Test runs out and kicks Booker’s head off to keep the titles for the heels. On replay, we see the referee looking right at Test leaving as Booker is left lying. Yeah that makes sense. The Smackdown tag titles would be debuted in about two months.

Rating: C-. This was about as cookie cutter of a match as you could have imagined. While it’s ok, it’s just ok. Booker and Goldust would eventually get the titles later on in January for all of two weeks. It wasn’t bad, but just not great.

Nidia does some stupid thing at the World, which is the new name for WWF New York.

Eric and Stephanie make some stupid sex jokes.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Benoit vs. RVD

This is cross promotional, so we have two announcers which is both kind of cool and kind of stupid. Benoit and Eddie have been jumping rosters lately, going from Raw where he won the title to Smackdown. The US Title on Smackdown was about a year away at this point, so there was only the midcard title on Smackdown. Van Dam kicks the freaking heck out of Benoit to start, so you know this is going to be physical to say the least.

This was a weird time for these two as Van Dam was kind of replacing Angle in the triad of the midcard. You always had Benoit and Jericho, but Angle was always a step ahead of those two, and eventually as he was phased up into the main event, Van Dam was thrown into the middle of the card more or less as an experiment and I’d say that it was a success. Frog splash misses and Benoit gets the crossface, which he locks on for about 30 seconds.

No tap though as we’re really just getting going. Over the course of the next 5 minutes or so, Benoit gets another two crossfaces on Van Dam who STILL doesn’t tap as we’re entering HBK at Mania 12 territories of not giving up. In a nice touch of comedy (in my eyes at least), Van Dam locks in the crossface, at least I think that’s what it is although he never was one for submission holds, on Benoit.

This lasts all of 4 seconds though as Benoit is the master of it so why wouldn’t he be able to get out of it? I’m not wild on the two matches with focus on the shoulder like this, but in this case it makes much more sense with Benoit’s finisher focusing on the shoulder. I guess with Eddie and Edge it made sense due to some psychology being thrown in, but I’m still not wild about it at all.

In something I never once remember seeing before, Van Dam’s hair tie comes undone and his hair is freely flowing. I’ve never seen that before and I really don’t like it. He looks almost like Tyler Reks with it like that, which works fine for the surfer, but it just doesn’t look right on Robbie V. I’m thinking I forgot a Ross joke here. That’s going to bother me now. The ending here is just not that great.

Benoit has a belly to back suplex countered as Van Dam rolls over onto him and lands in kind of a cross body/splash. In a very nice looking move, Van Dam looks down at Benoit from the top rope with Benoit’s feet pointing to him. He turns in the air and lands a Five Star for the pin and the title. Really not huge on that ending, as it’s just kind of there.

There’s not a lot of drama as Van Dam just jumps up and hits the splash and pins him. However, a guy winning a title clean is a very refreshing thing to see. There was no interference or anything. Van Dam simply countered and hit his finishing move to get the pin. That’s both good and bad I guess, but the rest of the match was good so I’ll take it.

Rating: B. This was very intense and well done. It’s probably Van Dam’s biggest win of his career up to that point and is probably one of the biggest of his career even to this day, with the world title obviously being ahead of it. He beat Benoit, one of the best ever, clean. If that’s not validation of his ability at least on one night, I don’t know what is. Very good match though and worth checking out.

Stephanie, before laughing for no apparent reason at Bischoff bragging. Not sure what this led to, but it might have been the US Title. Actually that’s not it, as the IC Title would soon be unified with the world title, in one of the biggest head scratchers of all time. It would be revived about 8 months later when everyone realized how truly stupid it was, and THAT would bring about the US Title.

We’re getting ready for Test and the Undertaker. JR says a lot of people want to know who the UnAmericans are, why they’re here, and why they’re doing this. In short: Lance Storm, Christian and Test, they’re professional wrestlers and TNA was a baby at this time and since Vince had more or less created a monopoly there was nowhere else to work, and they’re Canadians that don’t like Americans. Why is that such a complicated thing to figure out?

The UnAmericans carry around an upside down American flag to symbolize how messed up America is. That’s either brilliant or really stupid. They keep saying they hate America, so the American wants to beat up Test. On a side note, William Regal would join them later on. Taker’s punches were called soup bones for no apparent reason around this time, as JR continues to get further and further away from this lovely little thing called reality.

Oh yeah we’re in the Tough Enough era here and Tough Enough 3 was going on. The winner of that was one John Hennigan. You may know him as John Morrison. The other winner was named Matt Cappotelli, and while you may not have heard of him, I was lucky enough to see him in OVW.

He was absolutely awesome and I can guarantee you of this: he would have been either as big a star as Morrison or far bigger. The guy had that X factor to him and you knew he would have been something very special. His retirement speech almost had me in tears. I wish I could find a copy of it.

Undertaker vs. Test

You won’t hear this, but JR says that Test has been living on nothing but potential forever. How true that is of so many workers today. This is part of the UnAmericans vs. everyone else so Taker busts out a hiptoss of all things as he dominates early. The big clothesline hits but Old School is blocked to let Test take over.

Test’s fairly generic big man offense takes over. This is rather slow paced and not very interesting. Taker gets a belly to belly to get out of most of the trouble but an elbow misses. They slug it out which of course Taker wins which lets him get a running DDT for two. Old School connects and the bigger man is in control.

Test’s big boot misses and a chokeslam gets two which is probably the high point of Test’s career. Christian and Storm run in which gets them nowhere. It does however allow Test to get his big boot for two as Test PANICS since the one solid move he knows did nothing at all. He grabs a chair but it gets kicked into his own ugly face and a Tombstone ends it. That was a rarity at this point so it was cool to see. He celebrates with the flag afterwards.

Rating: D. This wasn’t that good. It was certainly more about the angle than the match, and while there are occasions that I’ll make exceptions for that such as Hogan vs. Andre, this isn’t one of those occasions. It’s just not good as their styles were too similar and while Taker is good enough, Test just didn’t care at this point and it shows. Solid angle, bad match, as Test just wasn’t in Taker’s league, ever.

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Taker is just now leaving, so that was an extended celebration I guess.

We start the build for what I think (and yes it’s very debatable) was your real main event. Shawn hasn’t wrestled in over 1600 days. That’s a lot of sleepless nights for Becca. Lawler says that a lot of these people have never seen Shawn wrestle, which means that a lot of people have never heard of home video obviously, or Lawler thinks it’s 1940 and there’s no such thing as taping a match.

In case you’ve never heard it, here’s the basic build for this match. Shawn and HHH were in DX together as you likely know. However, Shawn got hurt and HHH took over DX and became the star that he is today. Now, in the Summer of 2002, Shawn came back for a night, unbeknownst to us, healthy and sober. That night, it seemed to be all about Shawn again, which was unfair to HHH who had actually had a more successful career as far as title reigns and time on top than Shawn had.

That night, Shawn came up with the idea of reforming DX (I want that man shot) and HHH went along with it, or at least he did in the beginning. They do the two words line, but then HHH kicks him and pedigrees him. You can tell this is serious because it goes into slow motion. HHH hits a very weird pedigree as he jumps way too high and it looks like Shawn was countering it with a backdrop.

Anyway, HHH says that Shawn used HHH to get to the top, so now HHH used Shawn to get to the top, which makes even less sense but whatever. Now this is the part of the storyline that I never understood. HHH is cutting the promo in the ring where he says all of that stuff. Ok, that’s fine. A guy gets his attention and says that something happened.

HHH bolts from the ring and goes off to find a bunch of guys around Shawn who is laid out on the ground bleeding and there’s a hole in the window of a car. HHH says he’ll find who did it and when he does, that person is a marked man. Shawn comes back a few weeks later for a satellite interview, and he has the footage from the security camera, and naturally it’s HHH. As I’ve said many times, what’s the point?

For one thing, why wouldn’t it have been HHH? He’s cutting a promo about how he can’t stand Shawn, and since Shawn has been back for all of 2 weeks, why wouldn’t it have been him? Seriously, who else was it supposed to have been? Why wouldn’t they have just shown it being him, maybe ending the show like that, and THEN have the interview where Shawn challenges him for Summerslam? HHH says that he did it to prove a point, which was that Shawn is vulnerable.

Ok, that’s all well and good, but WHY WOULD HE GO ON A FREAKING MANHUNT IF HE DID IT? That makes no sense! What’s the point in turning him heel one week, turning him face for two weeks, and THEN revealing him to be the mastermind for lack of a better term, thus turning him heel all over again? It’s just pure overkill and was absurd. ANYWAY, Shawn says that he’ll be completely recovered by Summerslam. So let me get this straight.

Shawn couldn’t get better from a broken back, which is something that could have paralyzed him, in four and a half years, but if you cut him on the head he’ll recover in less than a month? Are you telling me that all Shawn had to do to completely be healed was cut himself shaving? If that’s the case, Becca might have a fit. This match is non-sanctioned, which Bischoff says means that it never happens. HHH says the logical thing: Oh Eric, but it will happen.

See, that’s my issue with matches that never happen. YES THEY DID! When you erase something from the record books, people still remember the matches themselves. That’s why taking down banners for basketball games or erasing wins is freaking stupid. The games were played, and therefore we’re going to remember who won, who lost, by how much, and what kind of shoes they were wearing.

The match not only happened, it happened in a WWE ring, on a WWE PPV, had WWE commentators and had a WWE referee, but people know who freaking won it! The match DID happen, so what’s the point in saying it’s non-sanctioned? If it was non-sanctioned, then this would be happening in a parking lot somewhere instead of in front of 14,000 people. Since it’s not an official match, why is HHH in wrestling gear?

Does he wear that in his everyday life? Is there constantly a referee following him around to check and see if he wants to go for a pin? Does he think he’s Nighthawk and that he’s competing to become Champion of Wrestling (OCW joke for those of you that have NO clue what I mean)? Are you starting to see how stupid this really is? Just call it what it is: a WWE street fight. It sounds better, it looks better, and above all else: IT MAKES SENSE!!!

They get a full music video before the match here, which actually does show off how great of a match this could be. HHH’s line of “YOU CAN’T WRESTLE ANYMORE!” while as corny as it sounds, actually tells the whole story here in just four words.

That’s the sign of a good promo: it sums up everything simply, without having to use a big elaborate bunch of words to fill in time. All that being said though, the buildup had you actually believing that something special was coming, and for those of you that have seen it, you know that it is. For those of you that haven’t, be ready to enjoy.

HHH vs. HBK

Before I begin, one note that I’m likely to forget. In an interview that HHH gave about Shawn and this match in particular, he says that this was a 45 minute match. From what I’ve seen, it clocks in at about 27-30. That’s a far cry from 45 if my math is correct, but I digress. To say the pop for HBK’s music is massive would be like saying Hogan was a little over.

The flashbulbs are going off all over the place as this is actually a very epic moment. It’s not like Shawn was doing nothing when he left. He was wrestling in the main event at a major show as the world champion and he retained. It’s fairly obvious that he would have gotten at least a rematch with Austin at Backlash and likely have been champion again somewhere down the road. However, it’s likely that his addictions would have caused major problems.

Geez I need to stop these tangents. He gets the mega star treatment which he deserves, including pyro, confetti, etc. He’s actually looking like it’s a non-sanctioned fight, wearing an undershirt and jeans. His shirt says Philippians 4:13, which for you football geeks is what Tim Tebow has on his eye black in every games. For those of you that don’t know who that is, watch some real football, not that nonsense they play in Europe and find out.

For those of you that have no idea what it means, it’s a Bible verse that reads “For I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” That makes a lot of sense for this match. Usually I want the face to come out last and get the big pop, but here I think it’s better that Shawn came out first. Also, Lawler says that no one in history has had more charisma than Shawn.

Not sure about that King. I’m thinking of a guy in red and yellow. He posed a lot, kind of made wrestling what it is today. In an odd fact that you may not know, the man who wears red and yellow, despite many tries, has never once beaten Jerry Lawler by pinfall. They fought dozens of times, but Lawler never lost cleanly to him. SCREW these tangents!

HHH gets the booing to end all booing. You have to keep in mind: HHH is at about the level here that he’s at today, so it’s not like Shawn was coming back to fight Dolph Ziggler or someone like that. He was taking on one of the very best. Shawn is all calm here, even doing the lay on the rope like a hammock thing. I really like that actually, as it plays to Shawn’s laid back persona that he had when he was at his peak.

If he was all serious and angry that would have made sense too, but I think this actually works a bit better. Shawn starts fast, throwing his PERFECT towel in HHH’s face and punching him. Apparently this is due to his Texas pride. What in the world does Texas pride have to do with this? He jumped him. Isn’t that being a bit cowardly actually? Why am I trying to make sense of something JR said?

Shawn starts by throwing punches for the most part, but within two minutes he launches over the top rope with a plancha, followed by more punches. That’s a very smart idea actually. Shawn has been out of the ring for four and a half years. It’s not like he’s going to be the Shawn that was wrestling just before the injury. He’s going to have a lot of ring rust, so punching makes sense.

Also, it’s a good safety advertisement for kids and adults. Since this isn’t an actual match, it’s not actual wrestling right? Therefore, Shawn not doing a lot of wrestling moves is showing that people shouldn’t try this at home. Now it’s ok to punch someone’s head in, but don’t try to slam them. We get weapons brought in, namely the trashcan of death, as JR talks about Shawn’s son watching at home.

There’s a great parenting lesson: if you’re ever possibly walking into a match where you have little to no chance of winning and could be paralyzed because your pride got in the way of your thinking, make sure your kids are watching, because it could be your only chance to look good for them. Sweet Chin Music misses and HHH lands a backbreaker, which Shawn sells like death, opening the main psychology of this match, which was to be expected.

You know, you’d think that after four and a half years his back would be a bit better. Oh, Lawler has used vintage four times inside of 5 minutes. I wonder if that’s where Cole got it. You can almost see the Harley Race coming out of HHH already as he looks just pure evil. Ross says that WWE has nothing to do with this match as I am fighting from rehashing what I said earlier.

Chair is brought in and cracked over Shawn’s back, but since he has HEART, he can kick out of what would pin others, despite it being his weakest point. JR says HHH is 6’4 and a half and weighs 260, despite him being listed as 272 just 8 minutes ago. I feel like I’m watching a Captain Planet parody with all these heart references. DDT on a chair which should have crippled someone but he kicks out with ease, but he’s bleeding.

Lawler says this match may have been the biggest mistake of Shawn’s career. He hung out with Luna, so that’s a big negative there King. HHH gets the sledgehammer as Shawn fights him off. HHH goes for an abdominal stretch which I’m sure has Gorilla Monsoon complaining in his grave. HHH grabs the rope, which I’m still trying to figure out how that actually adds anything to the hold.

Earl Hebner yells at HHH about it and you can tell he means business because he has a mic on him, but keep in mind: this IS NOT a real match. Shawn gets crotched on the top rope as a little bit of Becca’s soul dies. Another chair shot to the back would normally end anyone else’s career, but SHAWN HAS HEART! I know I’ve made fun of a lot of this, but this match really has been good.

I’m rarely a person that can pick out specific things a guy does in a match, but even I can tell that HHH is a master heel. They do a spot where HHH sets up a chair and Shawn is side slammed through it. If it broke then it hurts horribly, and if it doesn’t break then it hurts like the 7th circle of torment. We get probably the 5th spot that would kill anyone else, but Shawn has….screw it even I’m getting tired of that joke.

JR says Shawn is limp. I’m sure Becca could fix that. Ok I’ll try to keep the Becca jokes to a minimum now. Shawn starts his comeback in his comeback match by countering the pedigree. The fans are white hot here, even 15 minutes into this. From out of nowhere, Shawn gets Sweet Chin Music into a chair but Shawn is spent, which makes sense. The psychology is definitely here, as it’s always nice to have guys that actually know how to work the mental side of a match as these two do. HHH is busted.

Ok, now this is just getting ridiculous. Shawn has had maybe 5 moves that would have ended any match with ease, including a DDT on a chair, and 5 minutes later he’s fine? Even Hulk Hogan thinks that’s a bit much to swallow from Shawn. Becca says…never mind. All of a sudden Shawn is limping around again, so I guess I can buy the adrenaline excuse. JR calls the chair shot a Jason Giambi like swing which makes me laugh. Of all the power hitters in history he picks him?

The commentators have a crazy idea: Shawn could win. I get that this is supposed to be his last hurrah, but is it that hard to believe? Ok yes it would have been at the time. The fans want tables, so HHH is put on the most famous one of all time: The Portuguese Announce Table! In a weird spot, Shawn pulls the shoe from one of the commentators, which Lawler says is a heel for a heel as I can’t believe he still has a job at this point.

You can say heel but you can’t say belt or strap? It’s ladder time. DAng why can’t it be wiggle time? HHH gets a solid shot right in the hand with it. In case you didn’t know, this is non-sanctioned. Did you know it’s non-sanctioned? I just want to make it clear that this is non-sanctioned. And last but not least, it’s non-sanctioned. HHH busts out a baseball slide as two things happen: he uses a new move so screw you HHH haters, and I am WAY past my record for talking about one match.

You can tell this is a big match as HHH goes up top. Shawn gets a weird float around sunset flip but he shoves himself off at two because the spot looks bad if HHH kicks out on his own. JR randomly throws in how evil HHH is. That is yet another example of why I love professional wrestling. Where else could someone try to cripple you but just a few years later you’re best friends again and fighting on PPV together?

That must have been one heck of a Christmas card that HHH sent him. “Hey man, sorry about that whole wanting you in a wheelchair thing and the attempted manslaughter. Next time we hit Waffle House, you can get a Coke on me.” Drop toehold into the stairs for HHH and we actually get a realistic looking impact. Why are tables such a big deal? It’s not like they’re that deadly.

Wouldn’t it actually break the fall a bit as you have less time in freefall? Shawn comes off with a splash from the top to the floor with a table, which is just cool looking no matter how long he’s been out. The holy crap chants have started, which is fine as this match is awesome. Correction: this match is greatness. There is a difference. The odd thing about that though is that this is really just an extended hardcore match with big names.

They’re hardly doing anything revolutionary, yet the match certainly is great. I think that goes to show just how awesome both of these guys are. They’re taking stuff that we’ve seen dozens of times before but by using storytelling and style, they’re making it look better than ever. Shawn lands the Screw You elbow and bounces up. The old school stomping on the mat clues HHH in to what’s coming and it’s countered into the Pedigree, but Shawn rolls him up to shock the world and win the match.

Normally I would have been for the Sweet Chin Music and the clean pin, but with that we can’t have what follows: HHH drilling him in the back with the hammer to become Satan incarnate. He then does it AGAIN to make Satan look like a baby bunny named Lucy.

Lawler is absolutely losing it in some of the best commentary I’ve ever seen. Ross sounds like any other heinous act, but Lawler is probably at his best ever here. The fans are chanting for HBK, but since he’s not Hulk Hogan, he can’t get up. Shawn is stretchered out as the fans are almost dead silent.

Rating: A+. Holy crap this was awesome. You have to remember, Shawn hadn’t done a freaking thing in nearly 5 years. This would be like Austin coming back and stealing the show and having one of the best matches of his life. Both guys were so on here that it’s not even funny.

Ok, now I have to bring this up because it was the talk of the IWC around this time. As you know, HHH gets a LOT of criticism for never putting people over and while today that’s complete nonsense, those complaints started around this time and I think that at this time they were completely true. “But KB, he JUST put Shawn over.” Yes he did, but you have to remember that at this time no one, not even Vince himself thought that Shawn was coming back full time.

This was a one off performance and that was it. It’s no different than when Hogan came back and beat Orton and HBK. He had nothing to lose but he didn’t put them over as they needed. It’s no different here. HBK didn’t need to win here, given the circumstances at the time. Yes, HHH put someone over, but he put someone over that didn’t need it. Less than a month after this HHH would be awarded the WHC and after a brief Shawn run HHH would hold it for over 9 months.

In that time he beat everyone and beat them soundly. That right there is where he got the reputation for never putting anyone over, and I think those are valid claims. Prior to this he had won the title at Mania 18 and lost it to Hogan, who was just another nostalgia run like HBK was right here. In other words, for over a year and a half, HHH put over HBK, his best friend, and Hogan, the biggest star of all time.

Starting with the creation of the Undisputed Title in December of 2001 and ending with Wrestlemania 21 almost three and a half years later, the longest HHH wert without being world champion: just under four and a half months. Once the second title was created in September of this year or about 2 weeks after this show until Mania 21 (Batista and Cena winning the world titles): 5 months.

Both of these times he was feuding with HBK for the majority of the time. Therefore, I think there certainly was something to those claims back then that he was either playing politics or hogging the title while refusing to put anyone over, as he was either champion or feuding with HBK.

Since we had an amazing moment, we follow it with a bit that is supposed to be funny. This was the Get The F Out campaign because of those panda lovers.

JR and Lawler don’t think HHH is a very nice person. No valentine’s day cards for them.

Howard Finkel has something to say as we have entered the Twilight Zone. He says that he’s dedicated to the business and while MLB may be going on strike (they didn’t), the fans will always have the Fink. For no reason at all, Trish comes out for this. Apparently….they’ve been feuding?

Like I said in my Smackdown review, it’s kind of awesome hearing Fink’s voice being pissed off. Trish hits on him for some reason. Howard references his penis as my scars are scarred for life. Lillian is behind them and she beats up Fink and leaves with Trish. This may have been the most pointless segment I’ve ever seen.

We see a promo package on the rise of Brock and how Rock has been training “specially” for this match, which means he’s getting in shape to film the Rundown.

WWF Title: Rock vs. Brock Lesnar

After all that, Tony Chimmel is announcing. Brock’s music is great and Heyman is in his element as the jerk agent. This match was Rock’s very last time being around any title period as he would make one last 3 month run in the spring, beating Hogan and Austin before putting Goldberg over and riding off into Hollywood, only appearing for Mania the next year.

Basically, this was to launch Brock as high up as they could in one match and I don’t think I’ve ever seen it done better. Rock was really just a trophy champion at this point, having no title matches and never really being the focus of the show at all. Since Austin was on hiatus at this point, Rock was all they had left as HHH was busy with HBK. They figured they would roll the dice on Brock and just see what happened.

There’s not a lot to say here other than Brock is destroying him. I mean this is almost an extended squash, with the fans all over Rock. It’s a smark crowd so I’m assuming they know Rock is gone after tonight. Either way, Rock is getting booed out of the building here and the fans LOVE Brock, who was turned face about three months later at Survivor Series. Actually it was a bit before, but it was official that night as Heyman turned on him, making Brock face by default.

Brock puts on a bearhug which I kid you not lasts nearly three minutes. Granted, it’s the hug that killed Hogan off, but DANG that’s a long time. After the nap I was taking ends with them finally doing something, they go to the floor and Lesnar is down. During this time, Heyman gets the worst Rock Bottom of all time through the table. Back in, Rock hits the Rock Bottom and Lesnar kicks out because that’s what monster heels do.

He hits his own Rock Bottom which Tazz calls, say it with me, the Brock Bottom, and yes, it is stupider than it sounds. They trade punches with Rock winning and going for the Elbow but Brock pops up to just take his head off with a clothesline. That was one of the hardest moves I’ve ever seen.

We get a great series of near finishers and counters, but Brock lands the F5 to completely shock the world and win the title as the fans go nuts. The ending is really fast with clichéd lines like the next big thing has arrived. I think they were pressed for time or something here because the show is over maybe 15 seconds after the pin without even a single replay.

Rating: C+. This again wasn’t about the wrestling but what it meant. As I said this was Brock’s big moment and they couldn’t have put him over any stronger if their lives depended on it. He dismantled Rock and made it look easy. Of course they would screw this up royally by putting him with Big Show who would injure him at a house show because he was too fat for Brock to throw around without hurting himself.

Scratch that. Brock could throw him around, but Show just sucked badly at this time. Either way they had no choice but to give Show the belt in an angle that was just horrid as it made Brock look pretty weak. Also, less than two weeks after this the Undisputed belt is made exclusive to Smackdown which I think is what Stephanie was laughing about earlier.

Anyway it leads to HHH being given (literally) the World Heavyweight Championship which Shawn would win at Survivor Series in the first Elimination Chamber. DAng I got off topic again. Anyway, Brock was awesome, Rock put him over and bailed, and Austin was long gone, so Brock is officially a big deal.

Overall Rating: A+. This show is awesome, but HHH/HBK should have gone on last, plain and simple. It was by far and away the bigger story and got more attention. Also, after that match, the fans weren’t spent but they weren’t as alive as they could have been for the title change.

Other than that, I don’t have any issue with this show. It’s solid all around with nothing bad on it at all. I’ve heard it compared to Mania 17 and while I don’t think it’s better or equal to it, it beats anything for second place at least off the top of my head. Highest recommendation all around here.

 

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Summerslam Count-Up – Summerslam 1992 (2013 Redo): Do This Again

Summerslam 1992
Date: August 31, 1992
Location: Wembley Stadium, London, England
Attendance: 80,355
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

This is probably the most famous of all the Summerslams even to this day as we’re not only outside but for the first and only time ever, a regular PPV is being held in England. It’s another double main event tonight with Savage vs. Warrior for Savage’s world title, along with Davey Boy Smith challenging Bret for the Intercontinental Title. This show was originally going to be held in Washington D.C. with Shawn winning the title from Bret in the first ladder match but the change was made very close to the date of the show. Let’s get to it.

Also note that this is on a two day tape delay, which you would NEVER see for a PPV today.

For reasons I’m not quite clear on, nearly every version of this show you can find online has the dark matches included, so you’re getting some bonus stuff tonight.

We open with kids arguing over whether Warrior or Savage sold out to Perfect and Flair. Another kid says British Bulldog is going to win whether he likes it or not.

Heenan puts on a crown and declares himself Sir Bobby, King of England.

Dark Match: Nasty Boys/Moutnie vs. Jim Duggan/Bushwhackers

The aisle to the ring is REALLY long so the entrances take extra time this year. Duggan is so beloved that he can get a USA chant going in London. Both teams take turns playing to the crowd before we get going. It’s a big brawl to start with the heels being rammed together in the middle of the ring before rolling to the outside. We finally start with Knobbs vs. Luke but everything breaks down almost immediately with the heels running away.

Things finally settle down with Sags clotheslining Butch down….and everything breaks down a third time in less than five minutes. Duggan sends the Bushwhackers into the corner with the battering ram to all three heels at once to fire up the crowd even more. The Nasties and Mountie are whipped into clotheslines from Duggan but a Jimmy Hart distraction finally lets the heels jump Luke from behind to take over.

The fans chant USA as Mountie hits a jumping back elbow to take down the New Zealander Luke. The Nasties choke away in the corner as Vince is freaking out over the rules being broken this badly. Sags and Mountie both hook reverse chinlocks as the classic six man tag formula is in full effect. Knobbs comes in for a hard whip into the corner but a middle rope splash hits boot. The hot tag brings in Duggan to clean house with clothesline after clothesline. Everything breaks down again and it’s a Battering Ram, the three point clothesline and a missed top rope elbow from Sags to Mountie for the pin by Duggan.

Rating: C+. This was an extended but nicely done tag match. The fans were WAY into Duggan and the pop for the win was a nice response for a dark match. I was surprised by how well this match worked. Most dark matches just drag along and are nothing but rest holds and punching/kicking but this went nearly thirteen minutes and never got dull.

Dark Match: Tito Santana vs. Papa Shango

Shango used to scare me to death. Tito is El Matador so he has the awesome gold jacket. Papa jumps him from behind to take over and hits a splash in the corner to have the bullfighter in trouble. Tito comes back with some clotheslines and a dropkick to send Shango out to the floor. They head back inside where Tito gets two each off a middle rope clothesline and a cross body before hooking a sleeper.

Shango sends him into the buckle to escape as Heenan makes bull jokes about Tito. The voodoo guy keeps up the generic power offense by headbutting Santana down and walking around the ring. Santana avoids a middle rope elbow and makes his comeback but the flying forearm only gets two. Shango pops up and hits a shoulder breaker for the pin.

Rating: D. Shango was all character and no substance in the ring. This is a good example of what most dark matches are like: short, dull and nothing that I’ll remember in about five minutes. Santana was good in this kind of role as he makes everyone look good, although there was only so much he could do with a guy like Shango. Who knew the answer was to make the voodoo guy a pimp?

Dark Match: Tatanka vs. Berzerker

This is the final dark match and is held right before the main event but I’m putting it here for the sake of simplicity. Berzerker wants a test of strength to start and easily takes the smaller Tatanka down. The Native American comes back by easily shoving Berzerker to the floor before they slug it out back inside. They collide after a crisscross but Berzerker misses a dropkick, allowing Tatanka to fire away on the leg.

A World’s Strongest Slam gets two on Tatanka before a regular slam puts him down outside the ring. Back in and Heenan makes Indian jokes as Berzerker kicks Tatanka in the ribs. A backdrop puts Berzerker on the floor before Tatanka starts his war dance back inside. The Papoose to Go is enough for the pin on the viking.

Rating: D. To give you an idea what this match was, think of nothing. Now take away any possible interest that nothing has and you’ll have this match. It was very dull and uninteresting and the fans clearly wanted to see the main event instead of more worthless wrestling. Tatanka would become a pretty big deal against Yokozuna in about a year.

Money Inc. vs. Legion of Doom

This is on the main card with no real fanfare at all. The LOD comes to the ring on motorcycles along with manager Paul Ellering and……dang it…….Rocco the Dummy. There’s nothing more to it than that: it’s a ventriloquist dummy named Rocco who was the team’s “inspiration.” DiBiase is in his white trunks which I couldn’t stand when I first did this show but for some reason they work for me now. Vince gets in one of my favorite lines ever: “The Legion of Doom is well known for their psychology in the ring.” I’ll pause for a minute to let that one sink in.

Hawk starts with DiBiase and it’s Ted sliding to the floor to avoid a right hand. Animal jumps DiBiase on the floor and sends him back inside, only for Hawk to clothesline him right back to the floor. The fans are WAY into the LOD here. Off to Animal vs. IRS with Animal whipping him into the corner and standing on the tie like a smart man would. A gorilla press gets two for Animal before it’s back to Hawk for some arm work.

Irwin comes back with a sleeper but it’s only good for two arm drops before Hawk rams him into the buckle. The top rope clothesline misses IRS though and Hawk falls out to the floor. IRS drops some elbows as for two the fans won’t stop chanting for LOD. Back to DiBiase for some knee drops followed by a chinlock. Jimmy Hart, one of the greatest managers of all time, is yelling at Rocco the dummy. Money Inc. changes off without tagging to send Vince into his usual hysteria.

Hawk finally fights up and rams Ted into the buckle but the hot tag is broken up. The place is going to go nuts when Animal gets in. Ted drops some knees on Hawk and puts on a front facelock but the bird man carries him over towards Animal. IRS breaks up ANOTHER hot tag attempt but gets caught in a double clothesline with Hawk. Animal FINALLY gets the hot tag and cleans house but IRS breaks up the Doomsday Device. Not that it matters much as Animal powerslams DiBiase down for the pin about three seconds later.

Rating: C-. The crowd was HOT for this but it wasn’t much of note. This was part of the three way tag team feud with the Natural Disasters over the fall which ultimately saw Money Inc. coming out with the titles. This was the last appearance for this incarnation of the LOD for years in the WWF because of Rocco. Seriously, Hawk snapped over the idea and didn’t go back to America (to be fair though everyone knew the snap was coming sooner or later).

Ric Flair, in ring gear despite not being in action tonight, is happy to be in London. Gene asks him whose dressing room Mr. Perfect is in. “He’s in the dressing room of the winner of course. WOO!” Touche.

Virgil is ready for Nailz tonight.

Virgil vs. Nailz

There isn’t much to Nailz. He was an escaped convict who wanted revenge on Big Boss Man for abusing him in prison and that’s about it. He attacked Boss Man with the nightstick and Virgil is standing up for his injured friend. Nailz immediately chokes Virgil into the corner but Virgil comes back with some jobber offense. A rollup gets no count on Nailz and it’s back to choking from the convict. We head to the floor and Virgil is rammed into the apron, sending him into a bad acting session. Back in and Nailz hooks a standing chinlock/choke for the win.

Rating: F. There isn’t much to say here. Neither guy was interesting and the match was little more than a way to set up the blowoff match against Boss Man. The problem with that is no one cared about Virgil so all we had was a Nailz squash. Nailz just wasn’t any good and after the Boss Man feud he didn’t have much, other than a horrible sounding feud with Undertaker. Then he went nuts and choked Vince in his office and said he wanted McMahon dead during the steroids trial, basically saving Vince from prison. That’s Nailz’s entire WWF career for all intents and purposes.

Nailz lays Virgil out with the nightstick post match.

Alfred Hayes can’t find Mr. Perfect, nor can he get into Macho Man’s dressing room.

We recap Shawn vs. Rick Martel. Shawn cost Martel an IC Title shot, so Martel started hitting on Shawn’s manager Sherri. Sherri then started coming out to support Martel, setting up the showdown tonight. However since Sherri thought both guys were handsome, she made the rule that there was to be no hitting in the face.

Shawn Michaels vs. Rick Martel

This is the rare heel vs. heel match. Rick is dressed for tennis for some reason I don’t quite grasp. The back of Sherri’s dress is missing, sending Vince into a frenzy over the sight of a thong. Martel grabs a headlock to start and avoids a right hand before doing some jumping jacks. Shawn slides between Martel’s legs and takes over with a dropkick. Apparently dropkicks to the face are legal.

Martel misses a cross body and Shawn cranks on the arm to take over. They trade nip ups but neither guy can bring themselves to throw a punch. Instead Martel, playing the face in the match, sends Shawn over the top to Sherri’s feet. Rick heads to the floor and hugs Sherri who seems very pleased with both men. Back in and they trade rollups with handful of tights each, resulting in Shawn’s tights barely staying on.

Sweet Chin Music to the chest gets two for Shawn and a knee to Martel’s face gets two. Martel rolls him up as well and now they’re ready to fight. They trade slaps to draw Sherri up to the apron…..and she faints. The guys get in a fight over who gets to give her CPR with the fisticuffs breaking out, resulting in a double countout. Sherri pokes her head up to reveal she’s playing possum.

Rating: D+. This didn’t do much for me but it was more of an angle than a match. Sherri would be gone soon after this which kept the story from going anywhere but the match here wasn’t terrible. Shawn would be launching through the roof soon after this by dominating the midcard for the next few years while Martel wouldn’t do much else in the company.

They fight up the aisle until suits break them up. Shawn carries Sherri out but Martel knocks him down, dropping Sherri to the floor in the process. Martel picks her up and carries her a few feet but Shawn decks Martel, knocking Sherri to the floor yet again. Martel finally runs out with a bucket of water to wake Sherri up.

The Nasty Boys talk about the world title match for some reason. They ask Jimmy about a title shot but Jimmy Hart, also the manager of Money Inc. is notably anxious, which is hinting at his face turn.

Tag Titles: Natural Disasters vs. Beverly Brothers

The Brothers are managed by the Genius and are challenging here. Genius messes up his poem by getting some dates wrong but the fans are already cheering for the fat champions anyway. The challengers try to jump the big guys early on but the champions take their heads off with clotheslines. Both Brothers (Beau and Blake) are crushed in a fat man sandwich, leaving us with Typhoon to start against Blake.

Typhoon pounds away on the smaller man but Blake manages to lift him up for a slam. He can’t turn it over but it was a nice try at least. Everything breaks down for a few seconds until we’re back to more Disaster dominance. Quake accidentally splashes Typhoon in the corner and the ocean themed guy is down. The Brothers double team Typhoon with a splash but he launches Beau to the floor on the kickout.

Hang on a second: Shawn Michaels has left Wembley Stadium!

Back to the match with Blake hitting a middle rope headbutt for a delayed two. Beau holds Typhoon on the ropes so Blake can jump on his back in a move later used by Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin. The Brothers take turns pounding on Typhoon and draw Earthquake in, allowing them to double team Typhoon even more. A headbutt gets two for Blake and it’s off to a front facelock.

Typhoon finally makes a tag but the referee doesn’t see it, likely due to being bored by the match so far. Beau drops an ax handle onto Typhoon’s back but the big man FINALLY clotheslines both Beverlies down but stops to slam Beau instead of tagging out. Blake dropkicks his brother into a cross body on Typhoon for two and Quake has had enough. His save attempt is broken up by Genius’ metal scroll to Typhoon’s back as this match just keeps going. Quake breaks up he cover and gets the hot tag to clean house. A powerslam and the Earthquake are enough to retain the titles.

Rating: D. This just wouldn’t stop as the Brothers got WAY too much offense in here. The problem is the same as it was last year: there was no doubt as to who was walking out with the belts and that makes for a rather boring match. Also, the Beverlies are pretty average size guys so there’s only so much they can do against people like the Disasters.

The Bushwhackers speculate on whose corner Perfect will be in. Gene Okerlund makes some very bad British jokes.

Hayes can’t get into the Warrior’s dressing room either. He tries to barge in and calls Warrior rude for locking the door. Even HEENAN points this out to him.

Repo Man vs. Crush

Repo tries to jump Crush but has no effect and earns himself a gorilla press slam. We head to the floor for a clothesline from Crush before heading back inside for some kicks to Repo’s ribs. Crush pounds on the ribs even more and hits a backbreaker, only to be poked in the eye to break the momentum. Repo hits a belly to back suplex but Crush no sells it and snaps off a belly to belly. A top rope knee drop misses and Repo goes after the knee with some very basic stuff. An elbow drop gets two and Crush easily fights up, catches Repo coming off the top in a powerslam and hooks the Head Vice for the submission.

Rating: D. This was a glorified squash to make Crush look good. They were this close to making Crush the next big thing in 1993 so seeing him look good here isn’t surprising at all. Repo Man is really impressive as he went from Smash to the new gimmick so smoothly that I didn’t realize it was the same guy until years later.

We recap the world title match which is summed up in one question: who sold out? This was THE story of the summer as everyone was wondering if Savage would sell out to be able to beat the man that ended his career a year earlier or if Warrior sold out to guarantee his second WWF Title. Why both guys would want a manager who wasn’t even managing the world champion is anyone’s guess. Savage’s line of “I’m the WWF Champion and you’re not!” is great stuff.

WWF World Title: Randy Savage vs. Ultimate Warrior

There’s no sign of Perfect or Flair with Warrior. Warrior is also in a singlet here instead of in his usual trunks. There’s no one with Savage either though, meaning we have to wait even longer to find out who sold out. Savage offers a handshake to start but Warrior accuses him of selling out and won’t shake. Scratch that as he does shake but they pull each other together and it’s on.

It’s a feeling out process to start with Savage shoving him away and hitting a knee to the ribs. A clothesline to the back of Warrior’s head puts him down as the fans are booing. Savage goes up top but Warrior punches him in the ribs to break up a double ax handle. A pair of atomic drops puts Randy down and some shoulder blocks do the same. Savage pounds away and hooks a chinlock, only for Warrior to break it up with a jawbreaker.

A bit right hand staggers the champion in the corner and Warrior stomps away for good measure. Warrior hits a clothesline but Savage ducks away, sending Warrior chest first into the buckle. The champion clotheslines him out to the floor for a bit before hitting the top rope ax handle back inside. It has no effect at all though as Warrior starts marching around the ring. Savage elbows him in the face to put him back down though and goes up again, only to dive into a backbreaker for two.

Warrior whips the champion hard into a corner a few times before putting on a bearhug. Instead of hanging onto it though he lets Savage go almost immediately and gets a two count. Another backbreaker gets two but Savage comes back with a small package for two of his own. A neckbreaker puts the challenger down but a delayed cover only gets two for Randy. Warrior comes back with a hard clothesline and starts pounding away on Savage’s weak back.

A suplex puts Savage down for a close two as the fans are getting into these near falls. Warrior charges at Savage but falls out to the floor by mistake. Randy goes up and drops yet another double ax onto Warrior’s back before sending him into the steps for good measure. Back in and a sunset flip gets two for Savage but Warrior slams him down. Here are Flair and Perfect to ringside as Warrior’s splash hits knees.

Savage and Warrior clothesline each other down which gets two each for both guys. Randy is up first but Perfect trips him down, signaling that Warrior is the sellout. Back up and Warrior punches him down before choking Savage into the corner. Warrior throws Savage into the corner again but the referee is bumped in the process. A slam puts Savage down and Warrior goes up top for a right hand to the head, although there’s no referee.

The referee finally comes over to count the two and Warrior is visibly frustrated. Back up and Savage hits a knee to send Warrior into the referee again before hitting a piledriver on the Ultimate one. There’s no referee again though so Savage goes to check on him. As Randy is out on the floor, Flair and Perfect take out Warrior behind Savage’s back. Randy drops the big elbow but the referee isn’t there in time for a count. Flair and Perfect are huddling on the floor.

Warrior starts his comeback with Savage pounding away on his back but to no effect. He runs over Savage with clotheslines and the flying shoulder block before loading up the gorilla press. Savage is in big trouble but as Warrior sets up the splash, Flair hits him in the back with a chair. Note that Savage didn’t see what Flair did.

Savage doesn’t know what to do now but he realizes Flair and Perfect did something. The champion goes up top but he isn’t sure. Instead of dropping the elbow though he dives at Flair, but gets knocked out of the air by a chair shot, injuring Savage’s knee in the process. Savage is counted out but retains the title.

Rating: B+. This was another really good match between the two and a great rematch from their first classic a year and a half earlier at Wrestlemania 7. The idea of having someone turn was a great incentive to watch the show, and having neither guy do the turn was the right move. The ending of the match is important soon after this.

Post match Flair puts Savage in the Figure Four with Perfect adding in more shots to the leg. Warrior finally saves Savage with a chair and helps him to his feet.

The official attendance is announced.

Undertaker vs. Kamala

Kamala was Undertaker’s Monster of the Month at this point and is managed by Harvey Whippelman. Undertaker rides to the ring on the back of a hearse to kill even more time. Taker fires off uppercuts to start and chokes away in the corner before avoiding a charging Ugandan. Harvey breaks up Old School but Kamala can’t hurt Taker at all. He clotheslines the dead man to the floor but Taker no sells everything Kamala throws at him. Back inside and Taker easily chokeslams him down and hits the Tombstone but Kamala’s other manager Kim Chee comes in for the DQ.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here as it was setting up the coffin match at Survivor Series. This was during the bad period for Undertaker as he fought a bunch of monsters with no particular rhyme or reason. Kamala was nothing special and spent most of his career trying to be intimidating but getting destroyed every time.

Post match Kim Chee helps Kamala lay Undertaker out and the big man hits a top rope splash to Undertaker, but the Dead Man pops up a few seconds later.

Tatanka vs. Berzerker happened here.

British Bulldog talks about fighting hard for two years to reach this point. Yes Bret is the Champion and his brother in law but when they get in the ring together, Bret is a stranger to him. He hopes the families reunite after the match but he’ll be the champion.

Bret says that Davey might not know him but he can look Bret in the eye and see the man that got Smith his start in the company. This is a total heel promo from Bret, which is the right move given where they are tonight. Tonight, Smith’s dream becomes a nightmare.

Here are some Highlanders playing the bagpipes. Their featured performer: Roddy Piper of course.

Diana Hart-Smith, Bret’s sister and Davey’s wife, will be neutral tonight. She just wants them to get along after the match.

Intercontinental Title: Bret Hart vs. Davey Boy Smith

Bulldog has British Commonwealth boxing champion Lennox Lewis leading him to the ring and carrying the Union Jack. The place comes unglued for Davey but Bret isn’t booed at all, as his style is perfect for a crowd like this. Bulldog shoves him into the corner to start before hitting a hard shoulder to send the champion to the floor. Back in and they head to the mat with Bret grabbing a headlock to take over. Bret gets a few near falls off some rollups and it’s right back to the headlock.

Back up again and Davey grabs a hammerlock but Bret hits a HARD elbow to the face to escape, drawing the ire of the fans. Davey takes him down with basic technique and cranks on the armbar. The hold stays on for a good while with the fans getting louder and louder the longer Smith has control. Bret finally sends him into the ropes to escape and drives a knee into Smith’s ribs. The fans boo Hart out of the stadium for a basic move like a knee and boo even louder for a chinlock.

An atomic drop (called a reverse piledriver by Vince) puts Smith down and Bret blocks a crucifix (which worked earlier) in a Samoan Drop for two. Another chinlock is quickly broken but Davey charges into a boot in the corner to put him down again. A bulldog puts Bulldog down but he slams Bret off the top a second later. Davey misses a top rope splash and is sent to the outside, drawing a ton of heat for Bret.

The champion tries a dive to the floor but lands on Davey’s back, nearly breaking several bones in the process. Bret sends him into the post before heading back inside pounding away with European uppercuts. Hart hooks a chinlock for a good while before loading up the Five Moves of Doom. He pulls Bulldog up by the hair to show how evil he is and it’s off to a sleeper. This stays on for a LONG time as well but Smith rams him into the corner to escape again.

They slug it out but Davey drops him out of a gorilla press into the ropes. Three straight clotheslines get two for Smith and a gorilla press gets the same. The delayed vertical and the chest first bump into the buckle get the same. Bulldog hits his powerslam finisher but Bret gets out at two, with far less of a reaction from the crowd than you would expect. Bret rolls through a suplex for two of his own, only to get superplexed down for a near fall.

Back up again and a double clothesline puts both guys down, giving the fans a needed breather. While laying on his back Bret hooks the Sharpshooter ala last year against Mr. Perfect, terrifying the fans. Smith gets the rope so Bret tries a suplex, but Davey drops to his knees and hooks both legs for the pin and the title. The place ERUPTS on the three count.

Rating: A+. This took awhile to get going but once those near falls started it turns into an instant classic. Davey had to win here and it was a perfectly clean pin in the middle of the ring. Bret, ever the critic, doesn’t like this match and basically blames the whole thing on Smith for being spent five minutes in. Those of us in the real world see it for what it is: a masterpiece.

Bret, Davey and Diana embrace to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. This is a show where the matches don’t add up to the whole rating. The thing to remember is this show is less than three hours (not counting dark matches which I don’t count towards the show’s rating) and nearly an hour of that is spent on two great matches. The rest of the bad stuff is pretty short and the two main events more than make up for it. This is easily the best Summerslam so far and one of the best ever. Check this out if you’ve somehow never seen it.

Ratings Comparison

Jim Duggan/Bushwhackers vs. Mountie/Nasty Boys

Original: B

Redo: C+

Papa Shango vs. Tito Santana

Original: D+

Redo: D

Tatanka vs. Berzerker

Original: C

Redo: D

Legion of Doom vs. Money Inc.

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Nailz vs. Virgil

Original: C

Redo: F

Shawn Michaels vs. Rick Martel

Original: B

Redo: D+

Beverly Brothers vs. Natural Disasters

Original: D+

Redo: D

Repo Man vs. Crush

Original: C+

Redo: D

Ultimate Warrior vs. Randy Savage

Original: A

Redo: B+

Kamala vs. Undertaker

Original: C

Redo: D

British Bulldog vs. Bret Hart

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: A+

Redo: B+

I was WAY too nice to this show the first time. It’s great but it’s not THAT great.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/07/26/history-of-summerslam-count-up-1992-a-tape-delayed-ppv-yes-really/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Monday Night Raw – February 19, 2007: On The Road. Again.

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 19, 2007
Location: Rabobank Arena, Bakersfield, California
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with No Way Out and that means we have less than six weeks to go before Wrestlemania XXIII. The main events are set but we still need a bit more of the card to come together. That means we could be in for something good tonight, which will likely not include another appearance from Donald Trump. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a barber’s chair and barber shop pole in the ring (which is thankfully minus any windows). Vince McMahon comes out to say the Battle of the Billionaires is ready on and he can’t believe it. Donald Trump is going to come into his most prized creation, where Vince’s representative is going to beat him. Then McMahon is going to go over and beat Trump up, so that he can tell Trump that it’s time to be bald.

The good thing is that being bald is en vogue right now, so we look at Brittney Spears with her shaved head. Vince talks about the various haircuts he might give Trump, which means we get a McMahon favorite: WACKY PHOTOSHOPPED PICTURES!!! Anyway, Vince wants us to meet his personal representative, so here is Umaga. Armando Alejandro Estrada talks about how Umaga is happy to be Vince’s representative, but Vince isn’t done. Right now, Umaga is going to become…..the Intercontinental Champion!

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga

Umaga is challenging and we are joined in progress with Hardy sending Umaga outside. The baseball slide through the ropes staggers Umaga but the slingshot dive is pulled out of the air. That’s escaped as well so Hardy runs the barricade, only to have his dive knocked away with ease.

They head back in where Umaga drops a leg and we hit the nerve hold as Lawler talks about how horrible it is to have your head shaved. Hardy manages to avoid the charge in the corner so Umaga’s head slams into the post. The Whisper in the Wind gets two but Umaga catches him with the Samoan drop. The running hip attack in the corner sets up the Samoan Spike to give Umaga the pin and the title.

Rating: C. Hardy was the sacrificial lamb here and that’s all he was supposed to be. They needed to make Umaga look like a bigger deal going into his huge Wrestlemania match so putting him over a popular star like Hardy makes sense. Umaga winning the title is hardly some big upset so go with the right move here and everyone wins. Well maybe not Hardy.

Ric Flair/Carlito vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

Torrie Wilson is here with Carlito and Flair, the latter of whom takes over on Cade’s arm to start. Carlito comes in for the springboard elbow to the face and the running knee lift. A distraction lets Cade hit a Side Effect though and Murdoch comes in to hammer away. The villains take turns stomping away and we hit the neck crank on Carlito.

A back elbow to the face puts him down again but Murdoch misses an elbow. It’s back to Flair for the rapid fire chops and right hands, setting up the chop block. The Figure Four is paused so Flair can punch Cade out of the air, allowing Carlito to come in for a double clothesline to the floor. Flair hits Murdoch low and the Backstabber gives Carlito the pin.

Rating: C-. Just a tag match here as Carlito and Flair are starting the mentor/mentee deal. Granted it might be a bit better if it was anyone but Carlito, though at least they have something going on here. I’m not sure how far this is going to go, but Flair in a midcard role to give Carlito a rub is going to work out well enough.

John Cena and Shawn Michaels are happy they won last night but Shawn’s goal is still to keep Cena safe until Wrestlemania. Violence is teased….but Shawn plugs the new DX DVD instead. Cena counters with the unrated version of the Marine DVD. They brag about their DVDs until Big Dick Johnson comes in to dance. Shawn superkicks him, earning a thank you from Cena.

Rated-RKO is getting a Tag Team Title shot next week and Randy Orton is ready to destroy John Cena tonight. Edge is more excited about Money in the Bank so he better go qualify.

We look at Edge winning Money in the Bank at Wrestlemania XXI.

We look at Rob Van Dam winning Money in the Bank at Wrestlemania XXII.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Edge vs. Rob Van Dam

Edge’s wristlock doesn’t get him very far to start as Van Dam slips away and hits the finger pointing. Some kicks put Edge into the corner for the monkey flip and it’s time to go to the floor for a break. Back with Van Dam working on an armbar and then cranking back on said arm for two. Rob knocks him outside and hits the spinning kick to the back over the barricade.

Edge is rocked but he is fine enough to come back with a hanging swinging neckbreaker. It’s Rob in trouble for the first time and Edge goes really evil by mocking the finger point. Dude, gimmick infringement is never cool. The chinlock goes on until Rob kicks him in the head for the break and there’s the running spinwheel kick in the corner. Rolling Thunder is loaded up but Edge reverses into a powerslam in a nice counter.

Edge crotches him on top but the superplex attempt is broken up with another crotching. Rob kicks him to the floor and follows with a nice dive. Back in and Edge dropkicks him out of the air for two, only to have the spear hit the corner. The split legged moonsault gives Van Dam two more and there’s the step over kick to the face. The Five Star is loaded up but Randy Orton comes out for the distraction, allowing Edge to hit the spear for the pin.

Rating: B-. These two were having a heck of a match and I was getting into the back and forth stuff to the point where the Orton interference surprised me. Edge winning is fine and it makes sense to push a Raw star over one of the only ECW stars, so go with what makes the most sense in a pretty big match. The fact that it was good made it even better.

Women’s Title: Melina vs. Mickie James

Melina is challenging and even JR is half drooling over the two of them. They fight over a lockup to start with neither being able to get very far. Mickie takes her down by the hair and hits a basement dropkick to send Melina outside. The baseball slide is cut off and Mickie is sent into the barricade for a crash.

Back in and Melina throws her down by the hair before tying up the legs. That goes nowhere as Mickie sweeps the legs and hammers away, followed by some hair tosses. The Thesz press lets Mickie hammer away even more but Melina grabs the ropes to counter a hurricanrana. Mickie lands HARD on her head, allowing Melina to grab a jackknife cover for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. That felt like an injury ending and if that is the case, good for them for wrapping up the match as soon as they did. It was a nasty landing and the medics checking on Mickie after the match was hardly surprising. Melina winning the title makes sense as she has been the biggest star in the division as of late so let her run with the thing.

Post match Mickie is checked on while the paparazzi swarm Melina.

Post break, Mickie doesn’t want to talk about what happened and slaps Todd Grisham for not getting it.

Great Khali vs. Highlanders

Khali knocks both of them around like he’s the Great Khali and they’re the Highlanders and the chop puts Rory on the floor. Robbie gets chokeslammed for the pin with a boot on the chest.

Some of the cast of Grindhouse is here.

We look back at the opening sequence and the HILARIOUS Trump photos. There was a Mr. T. and Hulk Hogan version for Wrestlemania flavor.

Kenny Dykstra is asking Coach for more competition but Great Khali comes in to scare Kenny off. Khali wants better competition and Coach agrees. That’s enough for Khali to leave, so here is Ron Simmons for a subdued catchphrase.

Ashley revealed her Playboy cover on Smackdown.

Melina is happy to have won the title but she wants to know why Ashley is getting all of the attention. Do you know how many times she has turned Playboy down?

Mr. Perfect is going into the Hall of Fame, as he should. We get a montage of Perfect being amazing at sports, which it turns out he could do, but not when the camera was on. The solution? Lie to him about the camera being on.

Wrestlemania Recall: Wrestlemania I.

Randy Orton vs. John Cena

Non-title. Orton drives him into the corner to start and stomps him down without much effort. Cena is right back with the release fisherman’s suplex for two, with JR connecting the bridges and calling it a near PerfectPlex. A slam and elbow get two on Orton but Cena misses a charge and gets clotheslined down for the same. It doesn’t seem to bother Cena, who is right back with a bulldog to send Orton outside. Back in and it’s a double clothesline to put both of them down for a breather. Orton rolls outside again and grabs a chair as we take a break.

Back with Cena missing the shoulder and Orton hits the hanging DDT. Orton hammers him down in the corner and it’s time for the circle stomp. The big knee drop gets two and we hit the rare standing chinlock. Make that the seated chinlock but Cena powers out, only to get punched in the face. Cena makes the clothesline comeback and it’s the Throwback into the Shuffle. Orton rakes his eyes to escape the FU and there’s a dropkick to put Cena down again. The high crossbody connects but Cena rolls through for two. Orton is back with the backbreaker but the RKO is shoved away. The FU is loaded up again, drawing in Edge for the DQ.

Rating: B-. It’s so weird to see this as a fresh match but these two do work well together. You can see them doing their things and setting up their big stuff but neither of them could get that far ahead. Edge running in for the DQ wasn’t the biggest surprise after Orton ran out earlier, but they were having another good match on the way there.

Post match the Conchairto is loaded up but Shawn Michaels runs in for the save. Shawn grabs the chair and teases hitting Cena but throws it down instead. Shawn: “Not this time.” A tease of a superkick ends the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show started slowly but picked up near the end, which is always nice to see. You can feel the Wrestlemania build coming and that is a nice feeling, as they are getting the big pieces in place early. Money in the Bank is going to give some other people something to do and the rest of the card can fill itself out. Good enough show here, as the Road to Wrestlemania is starting to come together.

 

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