Royal Rumble Count-Up – 1992 (Original): The Classic

IMG Credit: WWE

Royal Rumble 1992
Date: January 19, 1992
Location: Knickerbocker Arena, Albany, New York
Attendance: 17,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

Oh yes. OH YES. This right here is in mine and several other people’s opinion, the best Rumble of all time, and there is one man to thank for that: Ric Flair. Yes, the Nature Boy himself has arrived to save the company after WCW did the absolute dumbest thing of all time and allowed him to just walk into the open arms of Vince. Without going into the whole rant which is in my Survivor Series 1991 review, Flair was more or less told that he would become a completely new character or be fired.

Flair actually had a brain and realized he could be a main event star in WWF at a moment’s notice and that’s exactly what he did. The icing on the pizza (delicious, you should try it someday) was that he had legal possession of the NWA World Title belt, the one that is currently known as the World Heavyweight Championship. This led to Heenan showing up on WWF Television with the NWA Title.

The look on Gorilla and Neidhart’s faces were so priceless I don’t even know where to start. That would be like John Cena showing up on Impact. To say it was huge was an understatement as it rocked the wrestling world. Anyway, Flair claimed that he was the real world’s champion and helped Taker steal the world title at Survivor Series. Hogan threw the urn’s ashes at Taker and rolled him up to steal the title back.

Based on all that insanity, Jack Tunney vacated the title. We’ve had no champion in about two months here, and there just happens to be a huge battle royal coming up. So therefore, in one of the only things that Tunney EVER got right, he makes the 1992 Royal Rumble for the WWF Title. OH YES! Tell me that doesn’t sound completely awesome. For the entire build up to this, Heenan kept saying this is Flair’s chance to show that he’s the best.

Remember that, as it’s one of the most important things to the show. The only bad thing about this is that we have to put up with the rest of the card before we get to the Rumble. Dang I’m looking forward to this. Let’s go.

Naturally we go over half the entrants to the Rumble first. I like being surprised better though, but whatever. We hear that the Mountie took the IC Title from Hart over the weekend, which was simply done so we could save Hart vs. Piper for Mania.

Orient Express vs. New Foundation

The New Foundation is comprised of Owen and Neidhart. We get our first WILL YOU BE SERIOUS from Gorilla so I’m happy. This is the era of the baggy pants which were just flat out odd in my eyes. We hear about the substitutions. Brian Knobbs has a bad shoulder so he’s replaced by Haku. Jannetty is out as well. Something about a bad haircut I believe, and he’s replaced by Nikolai Volkoff. My goodness what a terrifying concept of a match that is.

Something tells me that this isn’t going to be as good as the other version of this match that had the Rockers in it last year. So far I’m right. We’re already doing far too much mat work here. In something you don’t see that often, the faces dominate the at least opening half of this thing. Ok, they’ve dominated most of this. The ending must be coming soon right? I mean it hasn’t been a bad match but they’ve had ten minutes already.

With guys like the Rockers going a long time is fine, but Anvil? Something doesn’t connect there. Tanaka is wearing a black shirt in here for no apparent reason. Naturally the commentators won’t shut up about the Rumble, which at least makes sense here. It does guarantee a new world champion, so at least there’s a reason to talk about it nonstop. After some interference (shocking I say, SHOCKING!) from Fuji, the Express take over.

This match is running long, and they’re in the deadly territory of being long for the sake of being long. That is never a good thing. The match is ok, but I don’t think it needs this much time. Finally we have the hot tag to Anvil, and the Rocket Launcher ends this one.

Rating: C+. This was a decent match, but there was no way this should have gone on this long. Last year’s stuff was great as they just went out there and went insane, but here it was Owen against two other guys and then a hot tag to Anvil. That’s fine for something like a ten minute match, but this didn’t do it for me. Again, not a bad match by any means, but it just didn’t work, at least in my eyes.

Alfred Hayes talks about Bret’s loss at a house show where he (kayfabe) had a 100+ degree fever. This was I think two or three days prior to the Rumble. Somehow this sets up Piper against Mountie. We get a long clip from the show. They really need to show more stuff from house shows as they’re a great way to save some TV time and still advance the shows. Oh apparently Piper came in for the save for Hart and Mountie beat him up, setting the match up. That makes sense at least.

Mountie says he’ll win.

Piper says he’ll win, but in a much funnier way.

Intercontinental Title: Mountie vs. Roddy Piper

The idea here is that Piper has never won a title, but can win two tonight. This is really just a formality as I don’t think anyone believed there was a chance in Mountie retaining. This is more or less the height of Piper’s face run as he’s been feuding with Flair for awhile. He’s living proof that you don’t need a title to be a major star. The pop is great here as he’s just massively over. Piper stars off hot here, beating Mountie up with relative ease.

Heenan is hilarious, plain and simple. He’s panicking over what number Flair has and is desparate to get to the back and find out, coming up with great ways to have to go check. He offers to go get a diet drink for Monsoon. It’s a lot funnier than it sounds. Why do I love the jumping back elbow so much? It just looks awesome. Hart interferes but Piper is FAR too smart for that. He hooks a sleeper about as casually as you can imagine and gets his first title.

He uses the shock stick afterwards which still sounds like a doorbell. The celebration is great here, as Piper really was over to say the least. He didn’t win another belt until a few years ago with Flair, but this was great. He deserved a belt, even though he didn’t need one. It’s a cool moment though.

Rating: B. The match was a complete squash but it was never about the match. This was giving Piper something for his years of work and that’s just fine. He would go on to have a great match with Bret at Mania, so there we go. This was a cool moment and that’s all it was supposed to be.

Hayes completely barges into Hogan’s locker room and asks for an interview. To be fair, at least he gives him one. He says he has no friends in the Rumble today. He’s off steroids here as his look is completely changing.

The Bushwackers say they have a surprise for the Beverly Sisters. Apparently they’re going to feed them to Jameson. Jameson was this nerd character that was just bad.

Beverly Brothers vs. Bushwackers

Still I wonder how these guys had jobs. My guess for this is a comedy match. That scares me to death. The Genius is managing the Beverlies here. Gorilla says that the Bushwackers have been licking their way through the competition. That line speaks for itself. The match gets going as Jameson has a sandwich. No one has ever gotten the point of this guy, so naturally he kept going on and on. This just goes on and on.

It wouldn’t be so bad if Luke and Butch actually did something. All they’re doing is going to the ropes after some bare bones offense and shouting to the crowd. The heels aren’t much help either as they’re just not that good. We are LIVE! I guess even the camera guy couldn’t take watching this for such a long time. I can’t say I blame him. This is just going on FAR too long here and nothing at all of note is happening.

It’s just generic stuff that isn’t interesting at all. They’re just beating on each other with no rhyme or reason. Oh and Jameson is nervous. That’s all there is here but it just keeps going. The fans are more or less dead here too. After literally almost 15 minutes, the Beverlies win it. Oh but wait! Jameson has to do something stupid! Apparently he doesn’t like the Genius so he kicks him in the shin. Yep, that’s about it.

Rating: F-. Do I even need to explain this?

Gene is with the LOD, who are the tag champions here. They just say they’re not afraid of the Natural Disasters. Hawk does have a good line where he says the Disasters want to throw their weight around. That’s ok, because the LOD want to throw the Natural Disasters’ weight around too.

Tag Titles: Legion of Doom vs. Natural Disasters

This is tag match #3 out of 4 matches. The Rumble is next, thank goodness. This undercard has been crap in every sense of the word. The matches aren’t interesting and other than Piper vs. Mountie, nothing of note has happened. I mean really, Owen and Neidhart vs. two jobbers and jobbers fighting jobbers. How interesting does that sound? At least this should be kind of fun at least. LOD’s pop is great.

Naturally this is mainly just a strength contest to begin with. Dang it with the stupid formula stuff all night long. I can almost call out the match as it goes. It’s just generic stuff that power guys do with the Disasters taking control for most of the match. Why should I be interested in this? In short, I’m not, and I like these teams. Here’s the comeback. Yeah, I really don’t care about this. That’s the problem with a huge match like the Rumble for the title closing the show.

Also the talent is all in the main event so no one is interested in something like this. The good thing is that the Rumble should be pretty star studded. Oh come on. A freaking COUNT OUT??? That’s how we end this? We don’t event get a solid ending after having to sit through that? I’m already annoyed and that’s what I get for it? Freaking bad booking there and it got no reaction at all. When the LOD get no reaction, you can tell there’s no interest at all. The Disasters won by the way.

Rating: D. This just feels like a bad house show so far. I mean really, the IC Title changing hands is the only thing on the whole show so far worth mentioning and that was a five minute squash. As for this match, it was just boring. This was like a trailer for a future match. It didn’t work at all and I wasn’t interested in it. Factor in that I’m a big fan of the LOD and the Disasters so this was a great sounding match to me, yet it falls flat. This show has sucked so far, and it has sucked HARD.

Sean is with the Natural Disasters. He must have been wearing Eau de Twinkie or something to get them back there that fast. They say they should be champions because they won. That’s actually a good argument: they beat the champions in a title match. That sounds to me like a title change. All it means is the feud continues. Thanks for that.

Piper is FIRED UP over winning the IC Title. He’s even more insane than usual. If you don’t believe that wrestlers use cocaine, find a copy of this interview and I guarantee your view will change. He dedicates it to Colt, without saying who that is. It’s his son. I like that. It was really quick and didn’t come off as cheesy at all. Roddy Piper being quick and simple. You’ll never hear that again.

Sean is with Shawn Michaels who is freshly heel turned. It’s a week after the Barber Shop, which we recap so this is the first televised Shawn appearance as a heel. We get a replay of it, and Heenan saying that Shawn doesn’t need Jannetty is awesome. Shawn is about the level of Chris Masters if he’s lucky here, so this is the epitome of filler.

Back then, the implication that Shawn could win the world title was absurd. Now it’s a legit possibility if he’s every wrestling for it. He’s a textbook example of someone rising through the ranks, so keep an eye on people you see. You’ll never know what they could become.

Hayes is with Flair in what must be an intermission. That makes sense. With the Rumble coming up, you want to give the people a chance to get popcorn or a burger or a Coke or something like that. For once, I agree with that idea. Flair says he was #3. This was for the home video release as no one ever said what number they had.

Flair cuts a generic promo with a chipped tooth. That looks odd. You can tell he is excited though despite how calm he looks. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise: Flair in his prime was as good as anyone else, plain and simple.

Savage says that he’s won the title before and he can do it again.

Sid, who was rapidly becoming a major force in the company a la Batista in 2005, says that he’ll be champion.

Repo “Smash” Man says that he could take the title. If you ever want to see someone that has gone from one gimmick to another with such smoothness, look right here.

British Bulldog, who was the real dark horse for the title here, won a battle royal in London so he’s got some recent experience in these matches. It sucks that he never got the title because I think he could have been a solid transitional guy. He certainly had the power for it and that powerslam could beat anyone.

As Jake and I discussed once though, there was never really a time for him to do that, other than maybe beating Diesel at Great White North, but even then I don’t know if it would have worked. He was really awesome though.

Jake says he’ll get what he wants. He would be gone by Spring.

Flair and Perfect say Flair will win. Perfect comes off like a television pitch man here and it works really well in a weird way. Flair’s promo here is in his over the top style and it works like an absolute charm. This was a combination that was so awesome it’s unreal.

The just about to turn face Undertaker says he’ll win the title again atop a pile of carnage.

Hogan says that today he gets to prove a point. Amazingly, there are the slightest heel tones here. That could never happen, could it? More on that later.

And now it’s FINALLY time for the Rumble. Heenan is nearly hyperventilating. This has me hyped despite how bad the earlier stuff was. Shut up Howard! I want my Rumble! Oh there we go. OH BLAST IT it’s freaking Jack Tunney. The booing is about as audible as you could imagine. This guy is just annoying.

I think he forgets the name of the match. He tries to say it and then calls it this event. Even Heenan is shouting to get this going. Tunney was annoying as hall. After another request for Heenan to be serious, it’s time to get going at last.

Royal Rumble

Bulldog is in at #1. Heenan is absolutely hilarious here with how worried he is. DiBiase is in second and someone actually has a Sherri shirt. I didn’t know they even made those. This isn’t a bad way to start: a pair of guys that should be in the Hall of Fame. DiBiase hits the ring and we’re off immediately. The beauty of the format they have this year is that there’s automatically a story in there with the title on the line.

Gorilla says that DiBiase has been very successful in Rumbles as of late. As of late? There’s one a year, so as of late equals the last two years I guess. Not to mention DiBiase didn’t even wrestle in the 91 Rumble but rather in a tag match. So in other words, doing well as of late now means that two years ago he got about two thirds of the way through. Heenan points out that someone should just hit the floor and kill time, which is actually a very smart thing to do and perfectly legal.

They establish early on that Martel holds the Iron Man record, so that more or less guarantees that it’ll be broken or heavily challenged. They mention that Luke has the record for shortest time, which is incorrect as he was in there nearly twice as long as Warlord. My goodness I’m a geek. DiBiase is out in less than two minutes as Bulldog hits a dropkick to be all alone. Flair is third and I have to rewind it a few times to get Bobby’s reaction again. He PANICS.

Gorilla says Brain can kiss it goodbye. This sets the stage for the rest of the match as we all know that it’s going to be the Flair Show here, so let’s see what we’ve got. For one thing he’s rocking the black robe that’s always been my favorite. He’s strutting early so you know this is going to be good. The atmosphere here is off the charts. Heenan and Gorilla are stealing the show though with their commentary as Heenan is panicking and Monsoon is needling him for all he’s worth.

Smith gets Flair to the apron but doesn’t watch him hit the floor. Dang he’s got to stop doing that. Jerry Sags of the Nasty Boys is 4. Sags jumps Smith, and in the words of Dusty Rhodes, “HE BE CLUBBERIN! AND HE’S GOT A BICYCLE!” Smith puts Sags out with the same move he used on DiBiase so we’re back down to Flair and Smith. Gorilla says that all’s fair in the Rumble. I need to mark that down as I’m sure he’ll contradict that later on.

Out fifth is Haku, Heenan’s old client. He goes right for Smith, which leads to a brief double team. Flair goes for Haku and gets chased to the floor. You can see Flair planning everything he does as he’s being the sneaky master and playing it to the hilt. He goes to Haku’s head with a knee drop which as I’m coming up with a joke Heenan points out that it won’t hurt Haku. He’s a very proud Samoan stereotype.

After Haku beats on Flair even more, Smith dumps him with relative ease. HBK is in at 6, as Gorilla gets in another great line with “Some guys hate Flair more than others.” HBK has connections with both guys in there so that’s actually rather interesting. Michaels hits a crescent kick to Flair as it’s years away from having a name yet. Flair pops up almost, but to be fair it looked like he got his hands up.

Smith puts Shawn to the apron and DOESN’T MAKE SURE HE HITS THE FLOOR! My goodness you would think he would have learned his lesson for three years later. Shawn goes for the kick on Smith but it literally doesn’t make contact with his head at all. The way the camera is set up couldn’t have been worse as you can clearly see the foot going over Smith’s shoulder.

He sells it more than Flair did though so there we are. Heenan is looking for a drink with a kick. He’s really the highlight of this match not named Flair. Shawn gets crotched on the top rope in a spot that never gets old. Santana is in at seven in his El Matador gimmick.

He goes for Flair as Bobby is screaming for Perfect to get out here. So far, seven guys and seven champions. That’s pretty awesome actually. Actually, all seven guys were at one time in their WWF/E careers, tag team champions. That’s quite impressive I’d say.

Flair gets his first low blow in of the match on Smith which Heenan doesn’t even deny. You know this is a big match based on that alone. Heenan says he’d do that to his grandmother if he had to. That’s just hilarious. The Flying Jalapeno puts Flair down as Barbarian comes in to break the tag champions streak. How did he still have a job at this point? Gorilla points out in a near creepy tone that Barbarian doesn’t like Flair either. He’s the jobber I guess.

Texas Tornado, who beat Flair for the world title back in I think 84 is in at number 9. Flair goes right after him to renew their rivalry. Von Erich was pure jobber here as he hadn’t meant a thing in about a year and a half at this point. Heenan points out his old strategy of bringing in a big wrench and beating people with it to win. That’s either brilliant or cause for a citizen’s arrest. At number ten, stealing the single digit monopoly is the Repo Man. WOW that joke sucked.

His comedy here is impressive, especially considering at one time he eliminated Andre the Freaking Giant from the Rumble. Heenan points out an interesting thing: why should Repo run to the ring? Why not avoid some punishment? That’s actually really smart. I’d do it. Slide in the ring then slide back out and go out into the crowd or something then climb in at the end. Stupid kayfabe messing stuff up.

Greg the Jobber Valentine is in at 11. He and Flair know each other pretty well too. It amazes me how many people Flair has interacted with over the years. That’s very impressive. Think of it like this: Taker has been around forever right? He needs another ten years to be around as long as Flair, and he’ll likely be gone in five years. Michaels is literally holding on by a single foot which would become his trademark.

In at 12 is the 320lb Lithuanian Nikolai Volkoff! For some reason that’s a popular line that I’ve just never gotten but it originated here. Still, only Barbarian has never been WWF/E tag champion of the entrants so far. For no reason whatsoever, Valentine puts Flair in the Figure Four as Volkoff is thrown out. Gee thanks for coming Nicky. Boss Man, rapidly approaching jobberville, breaks the Rumble into its teen angst years by being number 13.

He just punches the tar out of everyone, namely Flair. Valentine is tossed pretty easily. Repo is thrown with ease as Boss Man is clearing the ring which was desperately needed. Flair surprisingly back drops both Smith and Von Erich out with relative ease. Those came out of nowhere. That leaves us with Flair, Santana, Shawn, Boss Man and Barbarian in case you were wondering.

Shawn and Santana eliminate each other to set up their forgettable Mania match as Hercules is in at 14 and hammers on Flair. Flair high fives Barbarian and then chops him to send Heenan to his 10th heart attack of the match. Barbarian tries to dump Flair, but Hercules dumps Barbarian and gets dumped by Boss Man, leaving us with the cop and Flair. Well I’ll give them this: there haven’t been any dead spots.

Flair hits nearly 30 minutes as Boss Man does some weird martial arts thing. Flair throws him out with ease again as Heenan says that’s enough and Flair should be world champion. We get to the end of the first half with Roddy freaking Piper! The fans are freaking here as they hit the floor through the middle rope. Piper is hammering him. Flair hits an atomic drop but gets the Three Stooges eye poke for his troubles.

Piper goes WAY old school with the Airplane Spin, the finisher of Gorilla Monsoon himself to set up a sleeper. Now this strikes me as odd. Piper beat Mountie with a sleeper after beating on him for about four minutes and Mountie was out like a light. Flair has been out there for about 30 minutes and he can stand a longer sleeper than Mountie who was 5 minutes removed from being fresh? Does that just sound odd to you?

In another weird looking thing, Piper knocks Flair out with it and then picks him up and puts it back on him. Well ok then. Jake is in at 16 but wisely just sits back and lets Piper beat on Flair. That’s really smart when you think about it. Why should he risk getting thrown out or use any energy? That’s what people mean when they talk about wrestling psychology. Anyway he jumps Piper from behind as Heenan is all of a sudden a Jake fan. I love Heenan.

Jake starts the DDT sequence on Flair and Heenan actually thanks Piper for the save. Literally seconds later, he’s calling Piper a no good skirt wearing freak. Bobby really is cracking me up here. Seventeenth is Jim Duggan who gets a pop and a half. What is the appeal of this guy? I’ve yet to see him not get a huge ovation. Gorilla admits that he’s impressed by Flair.

With Flair on his stomach, Heenan says he’s on his feet. I guess you can’t always be awesome. IRS is in at 18th as this match is going really fast for some reason. He more or less beats on everyone and gets his tie pulled. Now that’s just not that neighborly. Nineteenth is Snuka who is about as much of a jobber as you could ask for at this point. He just had been passed by and it’s a shame considering how innovative he really was.

Also he needs to wear the short tights as they just work better for him. Gorilla and Heenan go over the big names remaining and Heenan panics some more to give me yet another great laugh. Gorilla slips up though and says that the big names get preferential treatment. Oh that’s not going to go over well with Vince at all. I can picture the screaming he’ll be doing. Granted I’d need to turn up the volume to hear but the visual is awesome.

We crack the top 20 with the Deadman who is just about to go face as I mentioned above. He’s also got Paul Bearer now so things look as normal as they can with him. There goes Snuka and he’s on Flair now. Heenan is just gone at this point, screaming that it’s over and he has nothing left. Taker actually goes low to stop Duggan. That’s not something you see very often at all. The twenty first guy is Savage to a solid pop.

There is some amazing talent in there. Jake runs for his life of course as he continues to has such a mastery of the psychology. A high knee from Savage takes him out though and in a moment of insanity he jumps over the top and takes out Roberts. They make a last second save though and say that he jumped himself so he’s still in, which contradicts everything they’ve ever said as far as rules go so there we go.

I’ve always wondered what would happen if someone screwed up that was supposed to win and got thrown out by mistake. It would be interesting if nothing else. Taker and Savage are going at it. That’s a very interesting match indeed. Piper and Duggan are kind of hard to tell apart. It’s annoying. Gorilla is surprised that Flair is fighting, which means low blows and punches but whatever.

Berserker is in at 22 as we’re really getting close to the ending here. You can tell Heenan is nervous as he says that Flair should weasel his way out. That’s amusing on many levels. 23 is…Virgil. Well I guess they had to have a few jobbers in there. We get the old standard of jokes as Brain says that Virgil took the gold belt and had it bronzed. Granted that’s a smart idea considering it would be very rare.

Taker is choking Flair. There’s really not a lot going on here as it’s just a lot of basic stuff. However they’re managing to keep it interesting which is hard to do. Piper beats on Virgil, his former student. Twenty four is Colonel Mustafa, who has a job despite the war having been over for a year now.

Vince, learn how to drop a gimmick when you need to. That’s a very important life lesson. For some reason Monsoon calls Flair Martel twice in a row and isn’t corrected. WE ARE LIVE! To make things even more confusing, Martel is #25. He’s naturally a heel here and goes right for Flair for no apparent reason other than logic. Savage throws Mustafa out to no reaction at all.

It’s Hogan in at 26 to set the arena on fire. He grabs Taker and Flair so there we go. Hogan takes out Taker with a clothesline and then backdrops Berserker out about three seconds later to clear the ring out a bit. That’s good too as it was really needed at that point. Virgil and Duggan eliminate each other so we’re four men lighter than we were a second ago.

Make that three as Skinner is here at 27. Hogan has Flair up and Bobby starts crying in perhaps the funniest part of the match yet which is saying a lot. He starts praying which has me cracking up despite having watched this match at least 10 times. He again pleads for a drink as he sounds like an AA dropout. Quick recap: Flair, Hogan, Skinner, Piper, Martel, IRS and Savage and they’re joined by Sgt. Slaughter.

That means there are ten guys possible that can win. Martel puts Skinner out to a yawn from most people. Hogan and Piper go at it and all things are right with the world again. Flair has set the Iron Man record, which Bobby says is good enough to make him champion. 29th is Sid Justice who is a major face at this time. That means that thirty will be Warlord for no reason at all. Flair is still on offense which is pretty cool.

There’s Warlord and for some bad reason, Flair goes to the top. I wish Heenan noticed it too as it would be great. He and Hogan are on the floor now and Flair takes a suplex. Ok, so the final guys are Flair, Hogan, Piper, Martel, IRS, Savage, Slaughter, Sid and Warlord. There goes Slaughter so we’re doing to 8. Since I just reviewed Wrestling Classic an hour or so ago, I smell a bad tournament! In a very funny moment, Piper is in trouble from IRS but he grabs the tie and eliminates him with it.

That’s great stuff. Hogan Hulks Up after a chop and Flair is scared to death. Hogan and Sid easily dump Warlord, which for some reason surprises Gorilla. Ok then. Sid dumps Martel and Piper to get us down to Hogan, Flair, Sid and Savage. That’s a pretty good final four. Savage is gone and we’re at three. Hulk Hulks Up again. Flair can’t do the Flair Flip which is impressive since he’s worked this long.

Hogan is dumped from out of nowhere by Sid and the ending is clear now. Hogan screams that Sid stole his belt and grabs his arm. Flair sneaks up behind him and throws him out to win the title. Bobby’s orgasm could flood the whole state of New York. Hogan keeps going after Sid on the floor to make sure that no one but him gets the spotlight. Heenan says yes 32 times inside of a minute. That’s impressive.

Rating: A+. This is the greatest Rumble of all time, hands down. The emotion, the action, the ending, and the talent were all top level and it worked perfectly. Watch this Rumble right now as it’s worth every minute of it.

Now for the interesting part. As Flair and Perfect leave, we have Sid and Hogan fighting in the ring, and you can hear the fans booing Hogan and cheering for Sid. This of course had NOTHING to do with Hogan thinking it was time to retire and it was all his idea.

In the back, Tunney presents the title to Flair in front of the “press”. Flair cuts one of my all time favorite promos as he talks about what it means to be a champion. He’s just dripping with emotion here and he gets a nice little jab in at the NWA and WCW by saying that it’s just the WWF Title that means anything in wrestling.

This was a very novel idea at the time as other than the inaugural Survivor Series, no heel had ever won the main event on PPV before in the WWF (Taker vs. Hogan wasn’t the main event technically). That’s simply amazing and Flair says that it’s his time now and he just proved it. He’s absolutely right.

Overall Rating: B. That’s how good the Rumble is. Other than that and the moment of Piper winning, this show is horrible. Look at it. It’s just random stuff thrown on there with zero rhyme or reason. That’s the problem with having such a great Rumble: you take away the rest of the card.

Now to be fair, they were really betting the farm on the main event working and to say it paid off is an understatement. The main event is incredible stuff that will not get old to me no matter how many times I see it. I think the recommendation here is pretty easy: watch the Rumble and then watch it again. That’s more interesting than the first half of the show.

 

 

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Starrcade 2019: Thanks I Guess?

IMG Credit: WWE

Starrcade 2019
Date: December 1, 2019
Location: Infinite Energy Arena, Duluth, Georgia
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton

I mean, it has been a whole week since their last big event. This is another one of those house shows that is airing on the Network in a shortened form. It isn’t exactly something interesting though last year’s show was pretty good. The two matches announced aren’t exactly breaking new ground but they could be good. Let’s get to it.

The announcers talk about the history of Starrcade and run down the matches announced.

Here is Kevin Owens for the Kevin Owens Show. He doesn’t waste any time and brings out Ric Flair to make it feel like Starrcade. Flair talks about how he’s a fan of Owens and, after switching to a microphone that works, he talks about how proud he is of Charlotte. On Smackdown, Roman Reigns talked about family, and that’s what everyone in WWE is.

The first Starrcade was thirty six years ago and back then all Flair wanted to do was be the best wrestler in the world. That’s what everyone wants to do here tonight and it’s going to be a good one. Owens has heard a lot of WOOing so he wants to let Flair have one of his own. They count it down….and here are the Good Brothers to cut them off.

Anderson and Gallows aren’t happy with hearing about the past when we could be talking about their present. They are the best tag team in the world but Owens brings up their lack of hair. Anderson thinks we should see a bunch of OC highlights for the rest of the show. Gallows: “Maybe some Botched Club!” Owens: “You want to see highlights of your last match?” Cue the Street Profits as Flair goes out to the floor. I think you know where this is going.

Good Brothers vs. Street Profits

Anderson punches Ford into the corner as we hear about a tag match opening the first Starrcade. Ford flips away though and it’s off to Dawkins for a headlock. Dawkins talks a lot and brings him over to the corner so Ford can come back in with a dropkick (it looked like Ford had to lower his legs because he was going to get too high).

Gallows comes in and superkicks Ford to the floor to take over. The pummeling starts in the corner and there’s a big kick to Ford’s head for a bonus. The chinlock goes on again for a few seconds before a fall away slam sends Ford back into the corner. Gallows runs him over and elbows him into another chinlock.

Ford gets up and backflips out of a suplex, setting up the enziguri to put Gallows down. There’s the hot tag to Dawkins and it’s time to clean house. Everything breaks down and Anderson cuts off the hot streak with a spinebuster for two. The belly to back suplex/neckbreaker combination gets two but Dawkins hits his own spinebuster. Ford’s frog splash is good for the pin on Anderson at 8:46.

Rating: C-. Total and complete house show match here and that’s all it needed to be. This was just about giving the fans something to cheer for and they did it well enough. The Profits are a team who can get fans interested through pure charisma and it isn’t like the Good Brothers are going to be hurt by a loss.

Post match the Profits bring Flair into the ring and do the elbow/knee onto the invisible coat in tribute.

Bayley and Sasha Banks don’t like being around here and talk about winning the Women’s Tag Team Titles tonight.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Becky Lynch/Charlotte vs. Alexa Bliss/Nikki Cross vs. Sasha Banks/Bayley vs. Kabuki Warriors

The Warriors are defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Sane and Cross start things off but it’s Asuka and Charlotte coming in before anything happens. Charlotte shoulders her down but gets kicked in the ribs when trying to flip backwards. She’s fine enough to hit a fall away slam but Sasha tags herself in to frustrate Charlotte a bit. Sasha’s yelling at the crowd allows Cross to come in and bring Sasha into the corner.

Bliss hits her running slap and tags out for a bow. It’s quickly off to Bayley vs. Becky for a slugout until Bayley actually gets the better of it. Becky kicks her away though and brings in Bliss to clean house. Sane comes in to pull Bliss’ hair though and a dropkick to the back has Bliss in trouble. It’s back to Bayley but she gets small packaged for two, meaning Asuka tags herself back in.

That means a few kicks until Bliss punches her down, setting up the double tag to Lynch and Sane. Bexploders abound and it’s a double DDT to the Warriors. Sane is back up but Cross tags herself in for a high crossbody. The Purge gets two on Asuka with Banks making the save. The Insane Elbow hits Becky so Charlotte spears both Warriors down. Cross rolls Asuka up but gets pulled into the Asuka Lock for the tap at 13:26.

Rating: C+. This was the kind of fun insanity that these matches thrive on, though there is only so much you can do with so many people. It’s really just about keeping people moving the whole time and that is what we got here. There is a pretty firm limit on what they can do with something like this aside from a special occasion and this was as good as it was getting.

Bobby Lashley vs. Rusev

Last Man Standing and Lana is with Lashley, who is fine after Monday’s beatdown. Before the match, Lana talks about her hot boyfriend but there is some bad news: no Last Man Standing match tonight because the restraining order is still in effect. They’ll take that forfeit though. The referee raises Lashley’s hand and rings the bell but hang on a second.

Cue Kevin Owens to say that’s not how this is ending. Owens: “NO ONE CARES ABOUT THE TWO OF YOU AND YOUR STUPID RELATIONSHIP!” Lana wants everyone to ignore Owens right now. Owens: “Like you’ve been ignoring that stupid Russian accent for the last five years?” Lashley lets Owens take Rusev’s place and the match is on.

Bobby Lashley vs. Kevin Owens

Regular match instead of Last Man Standing. Owens hits two superkicks into the Cannonball but Lashley bails from the threat of a Stunner. Another Cannonball off the apron takes Lashley down again but he fights back to send Owens into the announcers’ table. They get back inside with Lashley’s shirt coming off to reveal the taped up ribs and shoulder. Lashley starts hammering away but Owens hits him in the ribs for a breather. A Downward Spiral gives Lashley two and he grabs a Crossface of all things.

That’s broken up with a quick grab of the rope so Lashley throws him outside. Back in and Lashley’s superplex is broken up, allowing Owens to Swanton onto the bad ribs. The frog splash gets two so Owens hits the Stunner, only to have Lana distract the referee. Lashley runs Owens over and grabs a chair, which draws in Rusev, in a Bob Ross shirt, through the crowd for the DQ at 9:29.

Rating: C. This was less of a match and more of a countdown to the obvious ending. That isn’t a bad thing but it wasn’t exactly a thrilling match. Owens could have been just about anyone here as we continue this Rusev vs. Lashley feud that has only started to pick up some steam over a month into the thing. It wasn’t a bad match but there wasn’t exactly a secret to where it was going.

Post match the beating is on with Rusev taking it into the crowd as Lana shouts about Rusev breaking the law. They head back into the ring with Lashley hitting him with some kendo stick shots. Rusev blocks the big shot though and grabs a chair to hammer away. The jumping superkick into the chair sends Lashley and Lana bailing. Rusev runs through the crowd to avoid being arrested to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Much like every single one of these things, this was a show that existed and little more. There is nothing on here that you need to see and nothing on here that is worth your time, though the women’s match was pretty good. You would be better off watching a host of other things though as it’s just a house show with a bigger set than usual. The Starrcade name is fine though and it’s better than just leaving the things dormant for AEW to pick off. Completely acceptable use of an hour, but nothing you’ll regret missing.

Results

Street Profits b. Good Brothers – Frog splash to Anderson

Kabuki Warriors b. Nikki Cross/Alexa Bliss, Charlotte/Becky Lynch and Sasha Banks/Bayley – Asuka Lock to Cross

Bobby Lashley b. Kevin Owens via DQ when Rusev interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – June 27, 2005: One Match And One Surprise Do Not A Show Make

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 27, 2005
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 15,449
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

It’s the night after Vengeance and that means it’s time to reset things for the long road to Summerslam. Batista and John Cena retained their World Titles and we should be in for a new set of challengers. Other than that, it’s going to be a big Diva Search night because we’re just that lucky. Let’s get to it.

Here are Sunday’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Kurt Angle to get things going. Angle talks about the series with Shawn Michaels being tied and how much the fans here would love to see round three tonight. Well that isn’t going to happen because Angle wants to face Batista. Instead here’s Ric Flair to cut him off, saying that he is a mark (his word) for Angle. Kurt has gotten so great so fast that it’s unbelievable, but Angle saying he’s the man is a step too far.

Flair still sees HHH as the man, but Angle sees three losses to Batista and three strikes you’re out. Last night, Batista and HHH proved that they are great. Kurt: “You’re looking at great.” Flair goes into a crazed rant about how if Angle tries to shoot on him, he’ll poke an eye, bite a finger or grab a rather sensitive area and pull. Angle sets up a match for the two of them instead. A WOO off ensues with Flair leaving.

We get an exclusive clip from last night with Bischoff making Chris Jericho/Christian/Tyson Tomko vs. Cena/two mystery partners.

Edge and Snitsky come out for a tag match against Kane/one of the two Draft picks tonight but Kane attacks Edge before the partner comes out. They fight into the crowd so Bischoff says we’ll be having a singles match instead.

Big Show vs. Snitsky

Show stomps away in the corner to start and then sends him into the other corner for a bonus. A suplex sets up more corner stomping and the chokeslam finishes Snitsky in a hurry. Just a squash to remind you that Big Show is a monster.

Maria is interviewing John Cena but can’t remember her questions. She leaves to go think of them and Cena is a little flabbergasted. Cena talks about overcoming the odds last night and has one of his two partners for the night in the form of….Shawn Michaels. The other partner is on the way. Maria comes back in and remembers her question: did Cena find a partner? Shawn: “You’re doing spectacular.”

Edge and Lita try to leave but Kane is in the dressing room to choke Lita. A lot of threats are made with Kane promising that this is just the beginning. Shouldn’t Edge realize that Lita has taken a long time to pick up a bag?

Masterlock Challenge, $14,000, Tajiri jumps Masters but loses anyway, mist to Masters.

It’s time for Carlito’s Cabana. Carlito is making changes around here, including replacing the Highlight Reel as the new big show. However, he can’t do all good things because his guest tonight is the final Draft pick: Rob Van Dam, who is still injured. Carlito calls him a lemon but Van Dam yells about Carlito being beaten down in the ring by the ECW locker room.

Van Dam liked giving a piece of his mind back at One Night Stand so he’s going to keep doing it here. He is one of the most influential names in wrestling and Carlito needs to get ready for Raw to be taken to the extreme. His knee is getting better, so Carlito kicks him in the leg crushes it against a table. We get some apple spitting for a bonus.

Kurt Angle vs. Ric Flair

Angle headlocks him down to start but it’s an early standoff. Flair is back up with some strutting and WOOing before sending Angle over the top. That means a chop against the barricade, followed by some fish hooking of all things back inside. Angle takes him down so Flair goes for the eye to drive him back into the corner.

They head back outside with Angle going head first into the steps but coming right back with an overhead belly to belly. Back from a break with Angle working on the arm and knocking him back to the floor. Flair goes more carnal and bites the thumb a few times so Angle punches him in the face. An elbow to the face puts Angle down and Flair goes up because he’s not all that bright.

Angle knocks him to the floor and grabs the ankle lock back inside, only to have Flair grab his crotch. That’s enough for the break and a chop block puts Angle down. The Figure Four has Angle in trouble until the roll to the ropes gets him out of trouble. The leg is fine enough for a German suplex but Flair kicks him low again. Angle isn’t having any more of this and picks the ankle for the ankle lock with the grapevine being enough to make Flair tap.

Rating: B. This was rather entertaining with Flair doing everything he could to stop Angle and eventually sending Angle into his top level stuff to finish him off. Flair cheating like crazy to hang with him was impressive and the way he should be doing things at this point. Above all else though, it was nice to see Flair getting to show how great he is without having everything be about HHH for once.

Smackdown Rebound.

Here are Coach and Christy Hemme to introduce the Diva Search finalists. The eight women (Ashley, Leyla, Summer, Krystal, Elizabeth, Simona, Cameron, Alexis) and Christy talks about how awesome it is to be a Diva. Coach is ready to explain tonight’s competition but here’s Viscera to interrupt. He talks about how they all have work to do and gyrates his hips.

The challenge tonight: thirty seconds to tell us about yourselves in your underwear. It’s exactly what it sounds like, though Leyla isn’t wearing anything under her dress so she can’t really participate. Alexis on the other hand, carrying a purse, sounds rather angry and pours a beer over herself. The fans boo this whole thing rather soundly. Dancing with Viscera ensues but here’s Sgt. Slaughter to say that next week, on the 4th of July, there is going to be a bikini boot camp, including an obstacle course. This went on FAR too long and is setting a lower bar than last year.

Batista talks about how the Cell took something from him that he may never get back. It was worth it though.

Christian, Jericho and Tomko aren’t sure who the partner could be. Marty Jannetty is in jail and Kevin Nash would tear a hamstring reaching for the phone, but they are close to Hollywood and….nah.

Christian/Tyson Tomko/Chris Jericho vs. John Cena/Shawn Michaels/Hulk Hogan

Yeah that works. Shawn handles Hogan’s entrance and Cena drops to his knees in shock. I’d say Hogan has earned that level of respect. Joined in progress with Jericho charging into a boot in the corner and getting his head knocked off with a clothesline. It’s off to Shawn for the chops and the forearm into the nip up. A cheap shot from the apron slows him down though and we’re into the full on house show formula with the villains taking over, including the rotating stomps.

Jericho grabs the chinlock before kneeing Shawn in the ribs as the fans want Hogan. The Lionsault misses though and there’s your hot tag so Hogan can clean house. Jericho’s shot from behind puts Hogan down so Cena takes Jericho to the floor. It’s Hulk Up time with Shawn superkicking Christian, leaving Tomko to take the most famous two move sequence of all time (or second only to the kick to the gut/Stunner) for the pin.

Rating: D+. That is what Hogan is made for at this point in his career: get a big reaction for his entrance, stand on the apron and play cheerleader, get the hot tag and do his signature stuff. Cena’s reaction when Hogan was revealed was great and they had a perfectly watchable house show style main event. Now that might be out of place on Raw, but it’s Hogan and he can get away with anything for me.

A lot of posing closes the show.

Overall Rating: D. What was that? This was a one match and one surprise show with nothing else going on. There was barely any fallout from Vengeance and nothing remotely mentioned for Summerslam (fair enough), with the two Draft picks being as midcard as you can get. Then there’s the Diva Search, which was as lame as you can get. Terrible waste of time here, though Flair vs. Angle is good and I can always go for a Hogan cameo.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – June 13, 2005: Sheriff Austin Rides Again

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 13, 2005
Location: Broome County Arena, Binghamton, New York
Attendance: 3,300
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after One Night Stand and that likely means no Eric Bischoff tonight due to ECW giving him an all time beating. We’re less than two weeks away from Vengeance and that means it’s time for the hard push towards HHH vs. Batista inside the Cell. Steve Austin is here as the guest star tonight to deal with Muhammad Hassan and Daivari so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Austin to get things going. Austin thanks the fan for their welcome but gets right to the point. There is a man who feels like he has been failed by the system and has been given the shaft over and over. Therefore, Austin is here for his unbiased opinion so let’s get the defendant out here right now. The USA chants are on in a hurry and Austin calls Hassan and Daivari sand people. Austin doesn’t like the two of them, which Hassan says makes them like everyone else. Hassan is here because he demands justice, though Austin thinks he’s a little too close.

We see a package of Hassan being discriminated against and….the guy kind of has a point on this one. Hassan says that is all the proof he needs so Austin uses Hassan’s head scarf to wipe the spit off his face. Austin: “I think you are a piece of garbage.” However, Hassan has been wronged by the system so tonight, he’s getting an Intercontinental Title shot. Shelton Benjamin is ready in the back and Austin is going to be the enforcer. Hassan is rather pleased with this one.

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Muhammad Hassan

Shelton is defending and we’re joined in progress with Hassan driving him into the corner and the fans chanting for Austin. Shelton is right back with right hands in the corner but gets dropped face first onto the buckle. A snap suplex drops Shelton again and Hassan strikes the pose. The chinlock goes on for a few seconds before Hassan takes him outside for a posting.

Hassan’s chair is taken away though, meaning it’s an abdominal stretch instead of rather extreme violence. That’s broken up so Shelton flips out of a suplex and grabs a neckbreaker. The slugout goes to the champ and a backdrop gets two but Hassan is right back with a reverse Eye of the Hurricane for two of his own. Shelton comes back again so Daivari comes in, only to get dropped down again. Hassan gets in a low blow and grabs the camel clutch…but Austin breaks it up for the DQ.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t great but the ending made sense. They don’t need to put the title on Hassan yet and he can have his rematch at Vengeance as the complaining continues. Austin breaking up the cheating finish was the kind of thing he should have done and it isn’t something that needs to be continued. Hassan is finally getting somewhere, though it still isn’t exactly great stuff.

Post match Austin announces Hassan as the winner and has some beer with Shelton.

Coach and Eric Bischoff are in the office (WHY IS BISCHOFF HERE AFTER THAT KIND OF A BEATING??? And he’s not even looking hurt!) with Bischoff not wanting to hear about ECW. Coach leaves and Chris Jericho comes in to complain about Christian getting the World Title shot at Vengeance. Tonight, he’ll beat up Christian to prove his point. HHH comes in and has a staredown with Jericho, who doesn’t seem impressed.

With Jericho gone, HHH wants to know who the Draft pick is tonight. Whoever the new pick is, they get to go face to face with Batista tonight. Whatever is going to be said, it better not interfere with the match at Vengeance. HHH yells a lot about how no one is stopping him from getting the title back and that’s about it. Even Bischoff seems sick of the never ending HHH stuff.

Here’s Chris Masters for the Masterlock Challenge. This week it’s $11,000 so here’s Sgt. Slaughter to lose after the traditional, insults, Cobra Clutch and cheating.

Long video video on Batista vs. HHH.

We look back at John Cena debuting and setting up tonight’s tag match.

Tyson Tomko/Christian vs. John Cena/Chris Jericho

The fans are WAY behind Cena here as the Canadians slug it out to start. Jericho gets the better of that without much effort and it’s off to Tomko. That means a kick to the head and it’s off to Cena for the first time to a big reaction. An elbow to the face and a suplex give Cena two and it’s Tomko and Christian being sent outside as we take a break. Back with Christian shouldering Cena down for two but Jericho tags himself in to keep things fresh.

Tomko comes in for a spinwheel kick that misses so badly that even the camera cut can’t save it. Some powerful clubbering puts Jericho down but he sweeps Christian’s legs and hammers away. The reverse DDT gives Christian two but an enziguri gets Jericho out of trouble and over to Cena for the hot tag. Tomko gets hiptossed and Christian gets punched out of the air, followed by the ProtoBomb and FU to put Tomko away.

Rating: C. Just a match really but you can almost guarantee something coming up from Jericho and Cena. Jericho has needed a heel turn for a long time now and that would probably be best for everyone. If nothing else, a triple threat might be a better way to protect Cena in the big match atmosphere, as he hasn’t shown that breakthrough regular singles match just yet.

Post match Jericho jumps Cena and lays him out to officially turn heel, as he should be doing. Cena gets sent into various steel objects and the fans are not happy.

The Diva Search auditions have taken place. Coach and Christy Hemme were there to explain how important this really is. Various shots of various parts of swimsuits are shown. Ashley Massaro pops up in a few cameos. This goes on for a very long time and the finalists are here next week.

Jericho asks Bischoff if that was good enough and the Vengeance title match is….still Christian’s, who pops up to yell. Make it a triple threat instead. Cue Cena to run in and go after Jericho, showing the good fire as he tends to do.

Maven vs. Viscera

A VERY happy Lilian Garcia is here with Viscera. Maven starts fast and manages two off of a missile dropkick but it’s a swinging Boss Man Slam and a splash to crush Maven flat. The newly named Visagara….is something we’re moving on from as fast as possible. The chokebomb finishes Maven quick.

HHH and Ric Flair aren’t worried about the Draft pick.

Kane vs. Sylvain Grenier

Kane hammers away in the corner to start as it’s time to let off some of that Edge/Lita steam. A boot in the corner keeps Grenier in trouble but he pokes Kane in the eye and gets in a dropkick. Kane sits up though and the beating is on, capped off by the chokeslam. Two more chokeslams finish Grenier in the way it should.

Post match Kane loads up the pyro but here’s Lita to interrupt. She says Kane should be used to people not being satisfied in the lack of a bang. Lita brings out Snitsky and says the whole lost baby is forgotten. She even thanks Snitsky for getting rid of the demon spawn and offers a thank you while stroking his beard. Snitsky: “MY PLEASURE!” That’s it for Snitsky so Lita brings out Edge, now her fiance. The wedding is going to be next week and Lita will get to see the real one eyed monster.

Here are HHH and Flair to deal with the Draft pick, with JR not understanding why HHH needs to be here. HHH talks about how he’s going to win the title back at Vengeance because he’s in charge, so get the new pick out here. That would be…..Kurt Angle, and hopefully we can forget the whole Sharmell/Booker T. deal. HHH doesn’t look happy as Angle talks about how what HHH said would apply to anyone coming over from Smackdown.

Well almost anyone that is, because HHH is no longer #1 around here. Angle and Flair get in a WOO off and HHH nearly loses it over “gimmick infringement.” HHH says he calls the shots around here but Angle brings up making Shawn Michaels tap out the same night HHH lost to Batista.

There goes HHH’s jacket (showing off a drenched shirt) so he can say that at least he was a champion at Wrestlemania. While HHH was off flying around the world, Angle was getting beaten up by Booker T.’s wife. Angle: “Let’s just say I have a thing for other people’s wives.” He brings up his affair with Stephanie McMahon, with HHH saying that everyone did something with her so it doesn’t matter.

Back to the point, Angle wants to face Batista the night after Vengeance…so here’s Batista to respond. Batista didn’t like Angle suggesting that he would choke, and after last night, Angle shouldn’t talk about anyone choking. HHH immediately starts playing them against each other and tries to get the match set up next week. Batista sees what’s going on but agrees anyway. We seem done but here’s Shawn Michaels for the first time since Wrestlemania. Vengeance, rematch set, brawl, show over.

Overall Rating: D+. The ending segment was pretty good but by the time this show was done, I couldn’t remember what else had happened. I don’t know if the whole thing was rushed because of the ECW show, but Vengeance, which has a decent looking card, isn’t really sparking yet. That’s what happens when HHH vs. Batista was the only thing getting any attention until tonight and that’s not a great way of going about things. Hopefully that gets taken care of next week, but it looks like they have their work cut out for them. Not a very good show overall, but the good moments were strong.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 2005 (2015 Redo): The Early War

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2005
Date: November 27, 2005
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 15,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman, Michael Cole, Tazz

This show is all about brand vs. brand, which really isn’t an interesting story because they would interact pretty regularly but of course WWE doesn’t get this. Therefore, the main event is a five on five Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown Survivor Series elimination tag for pure bragging rights. At least they didn’t have a full pay per view about it yet. Let’s get to it.

As you would expect, the opening video is about fighting to survive. The theme is still mostly about Raw vs. Smackdown, which really only matters in WWE’s eyes. Still though, a well built feud for bragging rights is better than building up a match for a lame story so I’ll take what I can get.

Booker T. vs. Chris Benoit

Here’s an idea they blatantly copied from WCW as this is the first match in a best of seven series for the US Title. Booker had been defending and we had a double pin in a match against Benoit, meaning we need to have seven matches instead of one. At least both guys are good. Benoit glares out at Sharmell and goes right at Booker in the corner to start. Feeling out process in the early going as Booker gets in a quick slam for two. Booker gets sent to the floor and it sounds like something falls near the entrance.

As Benoit takes Booker to the mat, Cole unintentionally buries the WCW TV Title (the first series was for a shot) by saying this series is actually important. Either Cole doesn’t know what the original was for or Vince fed him that line and then cackled a bit. Back up and Booker kicks him in the face, followed by an elbow to the same general area for two.

A raised boot in the corner and a side slam breaks it up and we hit an armbar. Yeah after the shots to the head and a slam where Benoit lands on his back, it’s a hold on the arm. Come on Booker you’re smarter than this. Thankfully Booker wakes up and goes to an abdominal stretch instead. Benoit fights out again so Booker knocks his block off with a spinwheel kick. Tazz starts talking about Cole looking mints and having a funny face as a result.

WHAT IS WITH HIM??? Every single show he goes on these insane tangents that make NO sense and barely talks about the match. Why did he keep doing commentary for the better part of ten years? Occasionally he’ll say something insightful (like AVOID THE HOLE in the Buried Alive match in 2003) but most of the time it’s just random babbling. Anyway, there’s a neckbreaker for two from Booker and we hit the chinlock.

Benoit fights up and starts the Germans, only to eat another kick to the face. A quick dragon screw leg whip looks to set up the Sharpshooter but Booker rolls him up for two. More rolling Germans look to set up the Swan Dive but Sharmell offers a distraction, only to have Benoit headbutt Booker down. The Swan Dive misses anyway and Booker grabs a rollup with his feet on the ropes (and Sharmell holding them there) to win the first match in the series.

Rating: B+. This is a heck of a match and a really good opener. They’re a case of two people who work really well together and this is what they can do with time. After Booker realized that the armbar was stupid (which it was) and he started cutting Benoit off every time, the match fell into a good story that ended with Sharmell’s interferences playing in to the finish. Really good stuff. Booker would win the series in January.

Eric Bischoff is warming up for his match with Teddy Long. Oh geez it’s this show. Vince comes up to wish him luck and Bischoff brings up Montreal. Bischoff promises to bring him up to date though because the fix is in with Kurt Angle vs. John Cena for the Raw World Title. Cena pops up and oh geez it’s THIS show. After a quick gay joke from Cena, Vince says “keep it up my nigga” and then does his strut past Booker and Sharmell. If you’ll excuse me, I’m off to go sing Real American for no reason in particular.

Women’s Title: Melina vs. Trish Stratus

Joey Styles of Raw and Tazz of Smackdown are on commentary as this is interpromotional. Trish is defending after Melina had MNM kidnap her on Raw and demand a title shot. Melina has MNM with her and the ticked off Trish has the recently debuted psycho Mickie James in her corner. Trish attacks to start and sends Melina to the floor for a big dive off the top. I could really get used to this psycho and angry Trish. It’s shall we say, rather attractive in a purely innocent way of course.

The headstand into a headscissors puts Melina down but she forearms Trish in the back to get a breather. Joey talks about Melina being inexperienced on paper, sending Tazz into an actually funny rant about “WHAT PAPER ARE YOU COMMENTATORS ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT???” Melina kicks her square in the face but has to deal with Mickie, leaving MNM to load up a Snapshot on Trish, only to get caught just in time. Instead of that being the logical DQ, it’s just an ejection. So you can come in, pick someone up and throw them down and not get disqualified? Good to know.

Melina puts on a surfboard as the announcers debate which of Trish’s laces are more valuable at the moment. A hair takedown gets two on Melina and we hit the screeching. Tazz: “I’m kind of cool with that.” The Stratusphere (that headstand headscissors out of the corner) sets up a spinebuster of all things for two. After Mickie pulls Trish away from a charge, some kicks to the face set up a top rope bulldog to retain Trish’s title.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much but it’s amazing how good Trish got in just a few years. She looked like she knew more about what she was doing out there than almost any Diva going today, which is probably why she’s considered the best ever. Melina would get way better when she became a wrestler instead of mainly being a valet. Not a great match but good lord Trish knew how to dress.

Detroit Tiger Dmitri Young is here.

We recap HHH vs. Ric Flair. HHH returned from some time off and turned on Flair, making Ric a face in the process. This led to a great match inside a cage at Taboo Tuesday where Flair turned on the magic one more time and won. You know HHH isn’t letting it end that way though so we’re having a last man standing match.

Ric Flair vs. HHH

Last man standing. HHH jumps him in the aisle before Flair can even get his robe off. They get inside with Flair in big trouble, made even worse by HHH grabbing a chair. Flair comes back with a kendo stick, which really looks weird in his hands. They brawl to the hockey boards with HHH taking over again and bringing it back to ringside. Flair is up at seven after a backdrop on the floor and an elbow to the back makes Flair swear a lot.

Ric’s strikes have little effect (WAY too early for that) and they head outside again. You can tell they have a long time to go here and I’m not sure if that’s a good thing. Flair goes into the post so HHH pulls out a toolbox and picks a screwdriver to bust Ric open BAD. If it wasn’t opened up enough, Ric makes sure to blade (on camera by mistake) to make it even worse.

Back in and we get more screwdriving (I would have pictured Flair being a big fan of screwdrivers), followed by two knee drops that clearly miss by a good eight inches each. I know they almost never hit but get it together production guys. They go back outside to load up the announcers’ table but first of all HHH grabs a spinebuster on the floor. HHH yells a bunch of trash on the mic so Flair grabs him by the crotch.

That’s not cool with HHH because Stephanie is the ball ripper in this company so it’s a Pedigree through the announcers’ table, only to have Flair backdrop HHH through the other table. It’s only good for nine though because HHH isn’t losing to a backdrop, even if it’s from Flair. A bunch of chops get a six for Flair but HHH can’t bring himself to use a chair. Instead HHH pounds on him even more, only to take a low blow. A chair off the head drops HHH for eight more so Flair bites the forehead.

HHH gets crotched against the post FOUR TIMES IN A ROW before Flair bites him on the back of the leg. There’s a Garvin Stomp of all things followed by a chop block but the Figure Four is broken up. Well, says, Flair, if that doesn’t work, why not a chair to crush the leg against the post? Now the Figure Four goes on and he can grab the ropes all he pleases.

HHH taps for no meaning so Flair lets go, only to have HHH beat the count at nine. He’s still able to drop Flair with a clothesline and bring in some steps. As so many people have done, HHH makes the mistake of holding them over his head, allowing Flair to score with a drop toehold to send HHH face first into the steps. HHH is up again and two Pedigrees get eight each so HHH gives him a third. Flair is STILL getting up so it’s a sledgehammer to the general area a few inches above Flair’s back to give HHH the win.

Rating: B. Long but good here with a ridiculous amount of blood to really make this feel like an old school brawl. HHH was always good at being especially evil and look how evil he was here as he beat up a guy in his late 50s. I’m not sure how bright it was to give Flair this kind of a rub when you could build up someone new, but you know HHH wasn’t going to sell like this for anyone but Flair or Shawn. Still though, good, violent brawl.

Flair goes out on a stretcher.

Trish and Mickie are online.

Orton is giving Team Smackdown a pep talk about why he should be the leader since Batista is injured. Cue Batista who thinks he’s in charge. JBL disagrees and gets stared down in a funny bit.

Here are Edge and Lita (good lord) with something to say. Edge has an announcement to make…..and it’s not him cashing in his Money in the Bank contract. No actually he and Lita are going to have their own talk show soon, called the Cutting Edge. That’s enough of that now though so let’s go annoy Dmitri Young. Edge goes with the basic jabs at the Tigers and Young looks stunned that a heel would insult him.

After some steroids jokes, Edge runs down the Detroit sports teams (ignoring the LET’S GO REDWINGS chants). Young lists off the sports championships Detroit has won but can’t see one on Edge (who would wind up with as many World Championships as the Redwings as of 2015).

We recap the Raw World Title match which is built around trying to make Cena vs. Bischoff into Austin vs. McMahon again. Bischoff doesn’t like Cena as champion so he’s gotten Kurt Angle: Wrestling Machine to take the title. Angle has beaten him before but Kurt now has his own personal referee in Daivari to really stack the deck.

Raw World Title: Kurt Angle vs. John Cena

Cena is defending, Daivari is referee and Angle’s YOU SUCKS are censored due to Bischoff thinking it’s unfair. Kurt takes him down by the leg to start and drops elbows on the knee, followed by an early leg crank. Back up and the threat of a right hand sends Angle to the floor but Daivari keeps Cena in the ring. So much like Bill Alfonso in ECW, Daivari is a heel for doing his job.

The fans are red hot for this one as Lawler talks about all the countries watching this show live. Apparently Coach thinks the Gaza Strip is a topless bar. The release fisherman’s suplex drops Angle for no count. That earns Cena the ankle lock for way longer than anyone should be able to survive the hold. Cena gets the rope but Daivari kicks his hand away. The hold is reversed and Cena’s ankle is FINE, allowing him to slam Angle and slap Daivari. Kurt makes sure Daivari doesn’t call for the DQ so Cena rams them together to get a breather.

Cena gets sent into the steps and a second referee comes in to count two. Well you knew there was going to be a way around Daivari. Kurt grabs a waistlock before throwing Cena hard into the corner to keep him in trouble. The fans are ALL OVER Cena and another suplex gives Kurt two. Off to something like an STF on Cena but Kurt goes to a regular chinlock instead. Cena fights up and grab a DDT without selling the ankle injury one bit. The champ wins a slugout and initiates his finishing sequence, including pumping up the shoes.

Kurt clotheslines the referee down and there’s a low blow for Cena. Here’s a third referee as you would think Daivari would have risen from the dead by now. The Angle Slam gets two, followed by a superplex for the same. The moonsault misses because of course it does so Kurt uppercuts the third referee. Daivari is finally up so Cena DDTs him back down, only to have a Smackdown referee come out to take over. He’s got a quick night though as Cena hits the FU to retain.

Rating: B-. WAY too overbooked here but they had to protect Cena here, even if he wouldn’t sell being in the ankle lock for thirty seconds. You could see Cena’s inexperience in matches at this level coming through, which is so bizarre when you know what he would become. Angle was so hot at this point that they had to do something with him but what can you do when you don’t want to give him the Raw World Title? Well in this case you wait for Batista to get hurt and give him the Smackdown World Title until he leaves for TNA in less than a year.

Eric Bischoff vs. Teddy Long

Let’s get this over with because neither is a wrestler and this is happening because EVERYONE LOVES BRAND WARFARE! Teddy has network adviser Palmer Cannon in his corner and we have two referees to make sure this is fair. Eric throws some kicks and Teddy does his bouncy dancing. Bischoff finally chokes him down as we’re waiting on a match to break out.

The fans think this is boring and that’s being too kind. A sleeper takes Teddy down but a shoe to the head breaks it up. Bischoff’s karate shot to the throat….and here’s the Boogeyman. Eric looks to the entrance but Boogeyman is behind him with a choke and a pumphandle powerslam. Teddy wins and it’s time for more dancing.

Rating: I. I’ve had infections that were more pleasant than this. Moving on.

The Raw and Smackdown teams are cheered on by their respective rosters.

We recap the main event. Back in October at Raw Homecoming, Bischoff turned the lights out on a Smackdown six man tag. This triggered a war between the shows as they kept invading each other to try one more time to get this brand warfare thing to matter, even though no one outside of WWE cared. You over there. You say you cared? Stop lying, because you know you didn’t. Why? Because no one cared.

Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown

Raw: Big Show, Kane, Shawn Michaels, Carlito, Chris Masters

Smackdown: Rey Mysterio, Bobby Lashley, Batista, Randy Orton, John Bradshaw Layfield

Batista is Smackdown World Champion but has a bad upper body due to an attack by Kane and Big Show. JBL has his publicist Jillian Hall, who still has a mole on her face. Lashley is still pretty new here but considered a can’t miss prospect. Orton (with his dad) is replacing Eddie Guerrero who passed away just a few weeks before this show. Kane and Big Show are Raw Tag Team Champions. The announcers bicker throughout the nearly ten minutes of entrances which makes me think we’re in for a long match. This really is one sided on paper.

Shawn and Orton get things going after Batista wasn’t allowed to start due to his injuries. Randy backs him into the corner and slaps the taste out of Shawn’s mouth, only to have Shawn slap him down to one knee. Three times in a row Shawn headlocks him to the mat but gets caught in a headscissors. With that not working, Shawn slaps him even harder but Orton grabs a slam.

The announcers talk even more than they do now with Tazz being a jerk. Like, moreso than usual. Masters comes in but takes a dropkick from Orton. It’s off to Lashley for the big power showdown. Lashley tells him to try his luck and Masters charges into a powerslam for two. A cheap shot from the apron lets Masters try the Masterlock but you know that’s not working. Lashley sends him flying with a belly to belly and it’s off to Carlito who has to be dragged in.

Some clotheslines set up a running powerslam for two (on Carlito in case you’re a bit slow today) and it’s off to Michaels. That’s fine with Lashley who slams him off the top, followed by an overhead belly to belly. I told you Lashley was a can’t miss prospect. I wonder how he wound up missing so badly in WWE. The Dominator plants Carlito but Kane chokeslams Lashley from the apron to give Shawn the pin for the first advantage.

Mysterio comes in for some kicks to Shawn’s legs but Kane interferes again with a knee to the back. It’s back to Masters who might be able to do something with Rey this banged up. A gorilla press drop sets up the tag to Kane (Tazz: “This isn’t good.”) who is quickly chopped down by some kicks to the head and a standing moonsault for two.

Rey charges right into a boot to the face though as the announcers are now talking about qualifying matches and Coach not being funny. A bearhug puts Rey in trouble as the argument turns to ratings. Tazz: “Joey I beg of you shut up.” Mysterio finally escapes and it’s off to Batista to really get Smackdown going. Kane gets in a shot to the bad ribs but Batista spears him down with ease. The rest of the Raw guys are dispatched and it’s a 619 to Kane, followed by a spinebuster for the elimination.

Batista walks into a Big Show chokeslam for two, followed by a double chokeslam from Kane and Show behind the two referees’ back. They didn’t notice that three of the nine people still at ringside weren’t around? We settle down to JBL vs. Big Show but the giant throws Rey around a bit first. Orton snaps Show’s throat across the top and the Clothesline From JBL, the 619, the RKO, another Clothesline From JBL and a springboard seated senton from Rey finally ties it up.

We’re down to Mysterio/JBL/Orton vs. Shawn/Carlito/Masters, which again is pretty one sided. Everything breaks down again and JBL throws Shawn on the floor with a fall away slam. Masters plants Rey down and it’s off to Carlito for a chinlock as Shawn is still down. Rey fights up and JBL gets in a blind tag, setting up another Clothesline From JBL to get rid of Carlito, who has to be helped from the ring. Masters suplexes JBL for two as Shawn STILL hasn’t moved.

Back to Mysterio who avoids a charge in the corner and hits the 619, followed by Dropping the Dime (Springboard legdrop. Tazz: “HE DROPPED THE WHOLE DOLLAR ON HIM!”) to make it 3-1. JBL throws Shawn back inside and it’s off to Rey for another 619. As Joey Styles points out that Smackdown could have won on a countout, Shawn superkicks Rey and JBL for back to back pins in 15 seconds to get it down to Orton vs. Michaels.

Orton is quickly sent to the floor for a big dive as things speed up. Back in and some clotheslines set up the top rope elbow as the fans want Undertaker (who was advertised for the show). JBL tries to come in with a chair but eats a superkick, setting up the RKO to give Smackdown the pin.

Rating: B+. That’s how you do an elimination tag. This was great stuff (save for the commentary, though it was actually entertaining at times) with the eliminations coming fast enough that they didn’t get ridiculous and Shawn doing his best to make you believe he was dead before his comeback. They kept people looking strong too and the whole thing worked well. Good match and a really good main event to make the Survivor Series match feel important again.

The Smackdown roster hits the ring and here’s Undertaker. Well scratch that as first we have the druids bringing a casket. After a lot of chanting, the casket lights on fire (as Orton had done to Undertaker about a month and a half back) and Undertaker walks out. Undertaker stalks to the ring to clean house and a throat slit has Orton terrified to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. For a show that almost no one remembers, this is a heck of a good card. The main event is good, there’s a lot of other solid stuff around, Trish looks about as good as she ever has……..and dang it Teddy Long’s dancing makes me smile. I don’t think I can call this a classic but there’s a lot of really good stuff on it to carry it a lot higher than I thought it was going to be. They’re in a transitional period here but this was a great show.

Ratings Comparison

Booker T vs. Chris Benoit

Original: B

2012 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B+

Trish Stratus vs. Melina

Original: B

2012 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

HHH vs. Ric Flair

Original: B-

2012 Redo: B+

2015 Redo: B

John Cena vs. Kurt Angle

Original: B+

2012 Redo: C

2015 Redo: B-

Theodore Long vs. Eric Bischoff

Original: O (For Oh I can’t think about this anymore)

2012 Redo: S (For Six Minutes)

2015 Redo: I (For Infections I’ve had that were more entertaining)

Team Smackdown vs. Team Raw

Original: B

2012 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: B

2012 Redo: B

2015 Redo: A-

I’m surprised by how much more I liked the girls and Cena vs. Angle. They’re good but they’re not that good. Still a solid show though.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/14/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2005-a-forgotten-almost-classic/

And the redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/11/11/survivor-series-count-up-2012-edition-2005-raw-vs-smackdown/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 2005 (2012 Redo): Cena vs. The Machine

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2005
Date: November 27, 2005
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 15,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman, Michael Cole, Tazz

The main change here is that we’ve seen the rise of Batista and Cena, with the latter defending against Angle and a crooked referee tonight. On top of that we’ve got Raw vs. Smackdown in a major Survivor Series match which actually feels kind of big for once. Other than that there’s HHH vs. Flair in a Last Man Standing match which should be good. Let’s get to it.

The announcers talk about the main event and bragging rights to start things off.

Booker T vs. Chris Benoit

This is the first match in a best of seven series for the US Title, which would go on until January and saw Randy Orton wrestling four of the matches in Booker’s place. Benoit gets in Booker’s face in the corner and they tie up for a bit. Booker hits an awkward kind of slam but Benoit pops right back up. Benoit sends him to the floor and that goes absolutely nowhere. Back in and Chris takes him to the mat with a leg hold.

After Booker grabs a rope, it’s time for a test of strength with Booker (the heel here) kicking Benoit in the face to take over. When all else fails, kick the guy in the face. A suplex puts Booker down as does an elbow to the face. Booker hits a side slam for two and it’s off to an arm hold followed by an abdominal stretch. After Benoit escapes, Booker kicks his head off for two. This is moving somewhat slowly so far but it’s not bad.

Booker hits an arm trap neckbreker (like Sandow’s Terminus) for two and it’s off to a reverse chinlock. Benoit escapes a vertical suplex and it’s time to roll some Germans, but Booker escapes the third and kicks Benoit in the face again. Another attempt at a kick is caught in a legdrag but the Sharpshooter that follows it up doesn’t quite work, giving Booker a cradle for two.

A snap suplex gets two for Chris and we roll some more Germans. Benoit loads up the Swan Dive but Sharmell’s distraction lets Booker load up a superplex. Benoit goes psycho though and headbutts Booker to the mat, but the Swan Dive misses, allowing Booker to get a rollup with Sharmell holding Booker’s feet on the ropes for the pin.

Rating: B-. These two are awesome together and both series they had (they did this in WCW for the TV Title) were entertaining stuff. At the end of the day, sometimes there’s nothing wrong with throwing two people out there and letting them have a good match. This was a solid choice for an opener too as both guys got to show off and the fans were getting into it near the end.

Vince wishes Bischoff luck tonight and Montreal is referenced. Of course. Eric says he’ll screw Cena. Cena pops up and says “so Eric Bischoff screws guys. Good luck with that.” Vince then says to Cena, and I 100% quote, “keep it up my nigga.” Booker and Sharmell don’t seem pleased.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Melina

Trish is defending and Melina has MNM, the Smackdown tag champions, with him. This is interpromotional apparently. Melina and MNM had kidnapped Trish and held her captive until the match was agreed to. Well that’s one way to do it. Trish and her psycho fan (the brand new Mickie James) come out fast with Trish sending Melina to the floor and diving on all three members of MNM. Trish is looking great here.

Melina gets thrown around by her hair, sending those furry boots flying. Trish headscissors her down and I think they botch a headscissors out of the corner with Trish kicking Melina in the face instead of getting the ankles around her head. Melina uses her basic abilities (meaning stretching to freakish angles to choke and kick a lot) before going to the floor for a cat fight with Mickie.

As the brawl is going on, MNM tries the Snapshot (elevated double team DDT) on Trish, only to get caught and ejected. Things calm down a bit and Melina puts on a surfboard, which may or may not be an excuse to have Trish’s chest shoved out while wearing tight leather. Trish fights back but Stratusfaction is countered into a face plant for two, drawing the primal screams from Melina.

Stratus comes back with some forearms but runs into a boot in the corner. The Stratusphere puts Melina down and there’s a spinebuster of all things for two for Trish. Chick Kick and Stratusfaction miss and Trish is sent to the apron, but Mickie pulls her out of the way of a charging Melina. Trish goes up and misses about 95% of a top rope bulldog but it’s good enough for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was much better than I was expecting given what level Melina was at here. Trish looked fine (and her wrestling was even good too) but she needed more to work with here. This would lead up to Mickie going totally psycho and evil, setting up an excellent match (other than the ending) at Mania between the two of them.

Watch Jake’s DVD! It’s full of lies but watch it!

Dmitri Young, a baseball payer, is here.

We recap HHH vs. Flair. HHH came back from injury and turned on Flair in their first match together. They fought in a cage match at Taboo Tuesday with Flair somehow pulling out one of the biggest upsets of his career. Tonight it’s a rematch in a last man standing match.

Ric Flair vs. HHH

Last man standing. Oh and Flair is IC Champion but this is non-title. Like HHH would ever actively go after a midcard title. HHH jumps Flair as he comes to the ring and beats on him in the aisle for a bit before we head inside. It’s chair time very quickly but Flair pokes HHH in the ribs with a kendo stick to block the shot. They head into the crowd with Flair chopping HHH through the fans. He swings one time too many though and HHH backdrops him back to ringside.

A suplex puts Flair’s back on the concrete and draws some loud swearing. HHH suplexes him back into the ring and Flair is in trouble. Some quick punches don’t do much good for Flair and we head back to the outside. Flair gets posted, but if that’s not enough to cut him open, HHH carves up his forehead with a freaking SCREWDRIVER. There is blood everywhere in just a matter of seconds, so HHH digs it in even more back in the ring.

HHH takes him down and the knee drop misses by about eight inches. The shot of the second one is even worse and they slug it out in the corner. We head outside again and Flair sends him into the steps to give Flair a breather. Flair pokes HHH in the eye but HHH hits a spinebuster to take him right back down on the concrete. HHH talks trash on the mic and Flair is like “boy Jack Brisco’s tights were tougher than you” and he grabs HHH by the balls. Well when there’s nothing else I guess that’s all you can do. HHH blasts him with the mic to break the grip. I guess that’s Stephanie only territory.

Flair is set for a Pedigree through the announce table but he backdrops HHH through the other table, drawing our first count of the match. That gets a nine and HHH grabs another chair. Back in and HHH has Flair dead to rights but instead of swinging the chair, HHH pounds away with punches instead. HHH pounds away in the corner, so Flair kicks him low again, followed by a chair shot for five. Flair is like YUM and bites at the cut on HHH’s forehead. Flair is kind of a weird dude sometimes.

Ric wraps HHH’s balls around the post and does the same to the leg, which is a smart move in a last man standing match. Then he crushes the balls FOUR MORE TIMES. DUDE FOR THE LOVE OF STEPHANIE GIVE IT A BREAK! Back in and Flair chop blocks HHH, before biting the guy’s thigh. Flair is a pretty sick guy at times no? He goes back to the knee (with kicks this time instead of teeth) but the Figure Four is blocked twice, the second time having Flair knocked to the outside.

For the first time, Flair pulls out a weapon of his own and whacks the knee with a chair. Now the Figure Four goes on and Flair is perfectly allowed to grab the ropes. HHH taps but it doesn’t mean anything here. That draws an 8 with a shaky call from the referee that HHH was up at one point. A double clothesline puts both guys down and HHH rolls to the floor. The Game throws in some steps and clocks Flair in the face with them. Flair needs to scream less. Sometimes you should just be stunned and dazed you know?

HHH charges with the steps again but Flair hits a drop toehold to send HHH into the steps face first. That only gets a nine so they slug it out. Flair sends him into the ropes but ducks his head like an idiot, allowing HHH to hit the Pedigree……which only gets eight. HHH Pedigrees him AGAIN, but Flair is up at 8 and flips off HHH. A THIRD Pedigree gets nine, so HHH “hits” (Get better directors already. This is ridiculous) him in the back with the sledgehammer to finally keep Flair down for ten.

Rating: B+. Bad direction and cuts aside, this was a very solid brawl. They beat the tar out of each other with Flair trying as hard as he could to have one last great moment, but not being evil enough anymore to hang with the new guy in HHH. This was good stuff and thankfully it more or less ended HHH and Flair’s time on camera together.

Flair is taken out on a stretcher.

Buy the Bret Hart DVD! No really, this one is awesome.

Trish and Mickie do an online interview.

Orton gives Team Smackdown a pep talk but talks about Batista as the weak link. Batista shows up and the tune changes. He thinks that since he’s world champion, he should be leader. JBL says it should be him. Batista glares at him and JBL stammers a lot.

Here are Edge and Lita with something to say. Edge is Mr. MITB at this point but doesn’t have a match tonight. Edge talks about how his own talk show, called The Cutting Edge, is debuting soon. Now that we’ve got that covered, let’s talk to Dmitri Young. Edge makes fun of the Tigers for not being able to win the World Series and calls everyone here fat. He makes fun of the Detroit sports teams and now they give Dmitri Young (“Come here Mark Henry. Oh wait…”) a live mic. Young talks about Edge’s balls and lists off all of Detroit’s titles before saying Edge has none. This took seven minutes somehow.

We recap Angle vs. Cena. Basically it’s “I’m Kurt Angle and therefore better than you. NOW LET ME SHOUT EXACTLY WHAT I JUST SAID AGAIN!” Cena is like bring it man and whatever rhymes with man!

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Kurt Angle

Daivari, Angle’s crony, is the guest referee. The YOU SUCKS from the crowd are censored because of some Bischoff ruling. Daivari is rubbing Angle’s shoulders during the intros. Oh and Cena is defending. The champ is here….right on the mat with Angle working on the leg. Cena comes back with an armdrag into an armbar and some shoulder blocks to send Kurt to the floor. Daivari won’t let Cena go after Angle and Joey is way more excited about it than anyone else. Isn’t Daivari doing what a referee is supposed to do anyway?

Back in and Cena hits some elbows and a release fisherman’s suplex for no count from Daivari. Cena goes to yell at him and is immediately caught in the ankle lock. Cena finally gets to the rope but Daivari kicks his hand off. The hold is broken and Cena spinebusts Angle before slapping Daivari a few times. Angle won’t let Daivari DQ Cena, so Cena knocks them both to the floor.

Kurt gets all fired up and slams Cena into the steps and hits an overhead belly to belly on the outside. A second referee comes out as Daivari is still down. Daivari would be a wrestler one day, so how did he get so much better at being able to take punishment? I’ve never gotten that. Anyway, Cena puts on a reverse waistlock but Cena comes back with a cross body for two. Angle comes back with a knee lift and Cena is in trouble.

The fans are ALL OVER Cena all of a sudden, with a huge Cena Sucks chant. Off to a chinlock with Angle holding the leg back as well. Cena finally comes back with a jawbreaker and a DDT to put both guys down. They slug it out with Cena taking over via some clotheslines. Cena initiates his finishing sequence and is set for the FU, but Angle clotheslines the replacement referee.

A low blow puts Cena down and Angle calls in another referee to count two on the Angle Slam. Angle superplexes Cena down for two but the moonsault misses. Cena loads up another FU but Angle grabs the referee to escape. An uppercut puts the referee down AGAIN and Kurt throws Daivari back in, who is apparently STILL out cold after about ten minutes, breaking Davey Boy Smith’s record from 1994. A Smackdown referee comes down but Angle yells at him, allowing Cena to DDT Daivari. Kurt comes in and walks into the FU for the pin.

Rating: C. This was WAY overbooked and Cena was in over his head with Angle, but it wasn’t bad or anything. Angle vs. Cena was supposed to be a huge feud but it never felt like anything all that special. Cena wasn’t ready for a real showdown with Angle yet but he would get a lot better over the next year or so though. The referee stuff was kind of stupid though, especially with Daivari being out cold for so long.

Eric Bischoff vs. Teddy Long

Yes this is real, yes it’s happening on PPV, yes we’re supposed to ignore Bischoff being a martial arts expert from WCW and thing Teddy might have a chance in a straight fight, and yes this is going to SUCK. Teddy has some network consultant with him named Palmer Cannon who never lasted long. They’re both GM’s if that wasn’t clear. Teddy poses a lot on the corner and we haven’t had any contact after a minute. Teddy dances a bit and Eric misses a kick. There’s more dancing and no contact still.

We do the exact same thing AGAIN before Eric chokes Teddy with his sash. There are two referees in there for no apparent reason. Eric chokes away but Teddy takes off his shoe and whacks Eric in the head. Bischoff goes to the throat to stop Teddy again…..and here’s the Boogeyman. If you’ve never seen him, picture Darth Maul from the first Star Wars prequel if he ate worms. He sneaks up on Eric and lays him out with a pumphandle slam, giving Teddy the pin.

Rating: S. Six minutes. This match took SIX MINUTES. The WWE owes me six minutes of my life back. John Cena vs. Kurt Angle for the WWE Championship can only get thirteen minutes but this gets SIX? Who in the world thought this was a good idea? At least it went by….no actually it didn’t go by fast. This won worst match of the year and I can’t argue at all.

Team Smackdown is coming to the ring and the Smackdown D-list guys cheer them on.

The Raw guys do the same thing.

We recap Raw vs. Smackdown. At a 3 hour special Raw called WWE Homecoming, there was going to be a Smackdown six man tag but Bischoff turned the lights out on them because he said they were inferior to Raw. This prompted a multiple PPV running feud where they kept invading each others’ shows, setting up a battle for supremacy here.

Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown

Shawn Michaels, Carlito, Chris Masters, Kane, Big Show,

Batista, Randy Orton, Rey Mysterio, Bobby Lashley, John Bradshaw Layfield

Show and Kane are tag champions, Batista is world champion but is injured due to Big Show and Kane attacking him over and over, and Lashley is undefeated at this point. This hasn’t been mentioned yet on the commentary for pretty obvious reasons, but Orton is replacing Eddie Guerrero who died about ten days before this. Shawn vs. Randy gets things going and it’s a very slow opening with both guys feeling the other out.

Orton gets thing going by slapping Shawn so Shawn literally slaps Orton down to the mat. Three times in about 30 seconds, Shawn takes Orton to the mat with a headlock, Orton grabs a headscissors to counter, and Shawn escapes. Randy charges into a boot in the corner but slams Shawn down to take over again. The match is starting slow but the bickering from the commentators is funny stuff, as they’re taking this rivalry personally.

Off to Masters who gets his eyes raked by Orton but the power game of Masters takes over. Lashley comes in to a reaction from the fans and they do the two power guys collide with each other. Bobby takes over with a slam but Masters clotheslines him down. Masters tries the Masterlock but Bobby easily blocks it. Carlito is pulled in and thrown around as well, culminating with a powerslam for two.

Off to Shawn to see what he can do with this monster, but Lashley slams him off the top. A suplex puts Shawn down so Carlito comes in sans tag and takes the Dominator. Shawn is about to take one as well, but Kane breaks it up and chokeslams Lashley to give Shawn the pin. Rey comes in next and Kane hits him in the back as well to give Shawn another advantage. Masters drops some elbows on Rey to keep him on the mat which is the right move.

A gorilla press drop puts Rey down again and here’s Kane who misses an elbow. Mysterio starts speeding things up and gets two off a standing moonsault. Kane comes up with a very easy counter by kicking a charging Rey in the face. Off to a bearhug as this is the longest segment of the match so far. Rey fights out of it and slides between Kane’s legs to make the tag to Batista.

Big Dave gets in some shots but the bandages all over his arm and chest are a target for Kane. Kane gets in a shot and everything breaks down, allowing Batista to hit a spinebuster on Kane for the elimination. Big Show chokeslams Batista for a very close two but Kane and Big Show double chokeslam Batista to put him out. JBL immediately tries the Clothesline on Show but gets grabbed by the throat. JBL kicks Show low, but gets caught jumping off the middle rope. That’s freaking SCARY power by Show. Show superkicks Orton down and LAUNCHES Rey into the corner.

Orton guillotines Show into the Clothesline from JBL who tags….Mysterio? The 619 sets up the RKO which sets up another Clothesline which sets up a seated senton from Rey for the elimination. Cool sequence here as the team all went after Show to get rid of him. Show would DESTROY Rey on a special Smackdown to get revenge. Shawn goes after JBL on the floor and gets thrown away in a fallaway slam.

To recap, it’s Mysterio, JBL and Orton vs. Shawn, Carlito and Masters. It’s Masters vs. Rey now with Masters getting two after sending Mysterio into the corner. Off to Carlito for a legdrop and chinlock for a few moments. Mysterio fights up and makes a blind tag to JBL who ENDS Carlito with a Clothesline to make it 3-2. Masters and JBL slug it out a bit but Rey tags himself in. JBL kicks Chris in the face to give his teammate an advantage, setting up a 619 and the springboard legdrop to take out Masters.

So it’s Shawn vs. Rey/Orton/JBL and Shawn is STILL down on the floor from the fallaway slam. Mysterio starts with Shawn and things go faster. Rey hits the 619 to send Shawn across the ring, but the West Coast Pop jumps right into the superkick ala Shelton Benjamin for the elimination. JBL comes in and tries the Clothesline but gets superkicked down AGAIN to make it Orton vs. Shawn. There were about fifteen seconds between the two pins.

The RKO and superkick both miss so Shawn dives on Orton on the floor to take him out. The fans want Taker who was promised to be here tonight. There are the forearm and superkick followed by some clotheslines. The top rope elbow hits Randy but Shawn can’t cover. JBL is still at ringside for some reason and he grabs a chair. Shawn loads up the superkick again but JBL shoves down the outside referee and misses a chair shot. The distraction lets Orton hit the RKO for the final pin.

Rating: B. This was a direct copy of Team Austin vs. Team Bischoff from two years ago, even down to the final participants, but the results were a bit inverted. Here, the part before the solo Shawn part was better but Shawn’s solo part wasn’t as good. Also, Batista running in was better than JBL’s chair stuff here. It’s still probably a better match overall, mainly due to the better opening part.

The low level Smackdown guys come out to put Orton on their shoulders…..and there’s a gong. We’ve got lights, we’ve got chanting, we’ve got druids carrying a casket, and a Dead Man coming out of said casket. Taker walks into the ring and beats up some jobbers as the roster bails. Orton is scared to death to end the show. Hell in a Cell for these two next month.

Overall Rating: B. This show is pretty much never talked about other than occasionally the main event and that’s a shame. This is an entertaining and solid show all around with the only bad match being a battle of the GM’s, and even that only runs six minutes. You have a bloodbath in HHH vs. Flair, a fun main event with entertaining commentary and some solid wrestling all around. Nothing is great, but if you’ve got two hours and forty five minutes to spare, check this out as it’s quality stuff.

Ratings Comparison

Booker T vs. Chris Benoit

Original: B

Redo: B-

Trish Stratus vs. Melina

Original: B

Redo: C-

HHH vs. Ric Flair

Original: B-

Redo: B+

John Cena vs. Kurt Angle

Original: B+

Redo: C

Theodore Long vs. Eric Bischoff

Original: O (For Oh I can’t think about this anymore)

Redo: S (For Six Minutes)

Team Smackdown vs. Team Raw

Original: B

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: B

I’m surprised by how much more I liked the girls and Cena vs. Angle. They’re good but they’re not that good. Still a solid show though.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/14/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2005-a-forgotten-almost-classic/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 2005 (Original): When This Was New

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2005
Date: November 27, 2005
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 15,000
Commentators: Jonathan Coachman, Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles, Tazz, Michael Cole

It’s all about brand supremacy here as the main event and the only match with a good build this year is Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown. What does that actually gain us? Absolutely nothing, but it’s the best we can come up with so there we are. Continuing that theme we also have Teddy Long vs. Eric Bischoff. Oh that’s going to be awful isn’t it. In some real wrestling we have in the Raw main event John Cena vs. Kurt Angle. Now we’re getting somewhere.

This was a weird time for the company as there’s just not a lot going on right now and they’re just kind of going through the motions. Cena and Batista are the top dogs on their respective shows but there’s just nothing that’s a spark for the company right now which is a trend that would continue for a few more years after this.

TNA is starting to get its footing but it’s far from a major deal in case you three TNA fans were wondering. That was random I know but this opening paragraph was way too short.

Don’t you just hate it when you run out of things to say and you just have to ramble on and on about absolutely nothing at all when it’s clear that the person talking is some moron that has nothing else to say but beating around the bush and trying to fill up space in a page because he’s not intelligent enough to have anything else to say about something he’s reviewing on a website like WrestleZone which should be about wrestling but isn’t always? Yeah I hate that too. Let’s do this.

There is one major thing that happened recently as Eddie Guerrero passed away two weeks before this show. I’ve always thought he was both overrated and gets far to much hype, but he was certainly a great talent and could wrestle with anyone and it was sad to lose him, especially when he was allegedly going to win the world title again before this show.

Again, the video is just painfully generic. It’s just a voiceover guy talking about survival and clips of the feuds. The only highlight is a single shot of taker who was returning tonight. Once we’re in the arena we find that it’s Styles on commentary which is a nice change of pace. Not saying he’s better or worse than Ross, but when you do so many of these in a row it’s nice to hear a different voice.

This was a time when for whatever reason we had three announcers for Raw which is of course overkill. Lawler either slips up or makes a sex joke by saying return your flight attendants to their upright positions. No one laughed but they didn’t react either so they either didn’t get it or didn’t notice.

They talk about how Raw will beat Smackdown which is fine. We go to the Spanish guys and then over to Cole and Tazz. For some reason this made me laugh. It was like the Spanish guys were just randomly thrown in there with no rhyme or reason. Stuff like that amuses me.

Chris Benoit vs. Booker T

This is match 1 in a best of 7 series for the US Title which was vacant due to a double pin between these two. The series wound up being Benoit vs. Orton because Booker got hurt so once Orton won the last match Booker got the title because that makes perfect sense right? These two traded the title back and forth like four times in about eight months which was just kind of stupid but whatever.

The whole idea of a series is stupid as well for one simple reason: why should we care about the first few matches? These don’t mean anything and nothing is going to be decided here, so why should we watch? Sharmell gets her own entrance and she is just painful to listen to. Something feels different about this show from last year which is a good thing. It feels bigger I guess you could say.

We start with a weird looking spot where Booker tries for a slam but can’t do it and it turns into a half suplex half powerslam. That was just odd. They mention that the second match will be on Tuesday at the Smackdown Special. That show was a disgrace for two reasons. First of all it was just flat out awful from a wrestling standpoint.

Second, there was a big spot where Eddie’s lowrider was blown with I think Big Show in it. This was sixteen days after Eddie died. Seriously? If you just have to use that for an angle, wait awhile would you?

Booker does some sweet looking stuff to get out of a test of strength. His in ring stuff really is overlooked. Booker gets an abdominal stretch and Benoit starts shaking his hips for some reason which looks very odd indeed. Benoit is getting dominated for the most part here, which is fine because he’s great at selling.

I’ll never get the point in announcers mentioning necks being surgically repaired. Wouldn’t that imply that they’re stronger than before? Are we really supposed to believe that a wrestler’s neck is still that weak even a year or so after they came back from the injury? Benoit gets a short comeback with one of those awesome Germans but Booker takes him down with a kick that was sweet looking. This has been a solid match.

Booker gets caught in an insane looking leg drag but avoids the Sharpshooter. After the triple Germans, Benoit goes for the headbutt but Booker stops him on the top. In a sequence that is very short but that I like, Benoit knocks him back down and goes for the headbutt anyway. See, while it seems pointless, it adds a bit more action to the match and got the fans into it just a tiny bit more. That’s what makes a match even better: adding that little extra bit.

Benoit could have just come off with the heabutt and missed to set up the finish, but instead we get an extra ten to fifteen seconds of action which got the crowd going a bit more. The more you can draw the fans in, the better the match is going to seem. If a match is weak (this one isn’t) that can be covered up by the crowd being into it. If a match is good (like this one) the crowd being into it means that the thing is a success on both levels.

Anyway, Benoit misses the headbutt and Booker gets a roll up with his feet on the bottom rope for the pin. Now wait a minute. How would the bottom rope help you? Isn’t the point of using the ropes to add more leverage to the pin by making you have to shove up a slope? With the bottom rope it’s just balanced out evenly.

Why am I wasting my time thinking about this? That ending was kind of weak but whatever. To further the stupidity, Sharmell grabs his feet and pulls down. Wouldn’t that pull Booker away from Benoit?

Rating: B. This was very solid. It’s not great but it’s very good. It was intense throughout other than the submission holds in the middle and it had time to develop. I’m not wild on the ending, but other than that I had no problems here. These two can work very well together when given the time as they were here, so who am I to complain? This was good but can someone shoot Sharmell for me please?

Bischoff is in the back warming up and Vince walks up. He wishes him luck and Bischoff says tonight he’s going to screw Cena, thereby making it about as obvious as possible that Cena will retain. Why do they insist on making so many Montreal references? They did it in WCW and the company died because they couldn’t let it go. Even after the mess that was Starrcade 97 they did it over and over again and it just never worked at all.

Also, they tried so hard to make Cena vs. Bischoff the next Austin vs. McMahon and it just failed. Actually failed isn’t the right word. It just didn’t live up to what it was supposed to be, which is fine because they’re inferior talents to what came before them. Also, since it had been done already there was no real reason to think this would be better which aren’t Cena and Bischoff’s faults at all. Anyway, Cena walks up and makes a gay joke to get Bischoff to leave.

Vince and Cena talk for a bit which when you think about it isn’t a pairing you see together that often. Vince actually says what’s up my nigger to Cena. WOW. Even Cena looks taken aback by this as do Booker and Sharmell. That was just out there to say the least.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Melina

Melina is part of MNM here along with Mercury and Nitro (now known as John Morrison). They’re the Smackdown tag champions and did the thing where they hung the belts from their belts so they hung between their legs. That’s original at least. This is inter promotional so Tazz and Styles are the commentators. ECW would be back in June with these two being the commentators.

Despite the fact that Melina looks better with all black hair instead of the blonde she has going here, she looks good in her signature entrance. Melina had MNM kidnap Trish on Raw so she could ask for a title shot because that makes perfect sense. Melina more or less is wrestling in a tiny bikini so this match has gone up in ratings for me. Mickie James, the newcomer, is with Trish.

Very soon she would go into the sexy crazy stalker mode with Trish, leading to her heel turn which was awesome. Trish starts with a spear and some punches that land squarely on the mat. Melina hits the floor but Trish hits a cross body from the top to the floor to take out all three heels. When did Lita get bigger and dye her hair red? Melina is a complete rookie here. Wow has she really been around for four years?

They botch a spot but if nothing else they make it work. It was supposed to be a headscissors but it turned into a kick to the face. It still worked though. Joey says Trish wins on paper. Tazz wants to see the paper. That’s actually kind of funny. Melina and Mickie fight on the floor while MNM goes for the Snapshot which was an elevated DDT on Trish. They get ejected for it though so that sucks. The belts are just making me laugh. This is intense if nothing else.

DANG Melina can hit the high notes. This is a quite good match actually. Melina actually counters Stratusfaction twice which isn’t bad. Mickie interferes to help Trish, leading to a kick and a top rope bulldog that missed but again they improvise slightly with Trish grabbing Melina’s hair on the way down.

It looked bad but it could have been worse, but it ends the match. On the replay they do a great job of covering the botch at the end by showing it from the back where you can’t tell how bad it was. That’s well done.

Rating: B. This was quite good. They beat the heck out of each other and on the two noticeable botches they improvised, especially the earlier one. Melina was clearly talented and not just another pretty face that thought she would try wrestling for a paycheck. Trish was her usual solid self here, so I have few complaints.

It was one of the better Diva matches that I can remember so that’s a perk. The looks didn’t hurt things either. This is what the Divas need to shoot for: hot women but good wrestling to back it up. I’d watch more of this.

Buy this PPV of the DVD of Jake Roberts.

We recap HHH vs. Flair which was a good feud I thought. More or less HHH decided that Flair was too far gone to mean anything anymore so he beat him up. Flair wound up winning the Intercontinental Title of all things which I actually liked as it made the belt seem prestigious. They had a cage match at Taboo Tuesday for the belt and Flair won clean in a great old school style match. That leads us to here which is last man standing.

Ric Flair vs. HHH

Like I said Flair is IC champion here but it’s non title. Trips jumps him in the aisle to start us off. Flair is beaten on pretty badly at first since his robs is still on. He comes back though as the old man powers will never die. They haven’t actually been in the ring at this point. Scratch that they have but it was for about twenty seconds. I’ll give Flair this: he can sell as well as anyone in history even at this age.

That’s why he was so great for so long: he could tell a story as well as anyone in the world. HHH works over his back which is fine. He needs to lose the mustache though. It just flat out doesn’t work on him. We go hardcore as HHH pulls out a screwdriver. Dang Flair is bleeding badly. Granted I think that happens is someone stares at him for more than four seconds. Has anyone been in as many last man standing matches as HHH?

He’s been in a ton of them over the years with at least three that I can remember against Orton alone. I’ve always loved that red blonde hair on Flair. They finally mention that it’s HHH’s lifelong goal to break Flair’s record, which depending on what you look at should be around 22 or 23. If TNA has their way Angle will pass that in about a week. Edge is likely going to get close to it as well, but I’d take almost any of Flair’s runs over any two or three of Edge’s combined.

They’re out on the floor again with Flair finally taking some control. I have a feeling we’re in for a long one here, which should be fine. Coach offers commentary simply saying what number the referee is up to. Good to see why he’s paid the big money. HHH gets on the mic because three commentators in one match just aren’t enough. He yells at Flair to get up and in the next breath says to stay down if he knows what’s good for him.

No wonder Flair never would retire. He was too confused from hanging out with HHH all those years. Flair grabs the ball of HHH for no apparent reason. Is he competing with Stephanie or something now? HHH gets control back because I guess he likes being the dominant one.

I’ll be pausing for a few seconds here to get the image of a submissive Stephanie out of my mind. Ok I think I’m good now. We hit the tables and HHH gets countered through the table as he always is. Both guys are more or less dead at this point. The table practically exploded too and it looked great. Both guys are up though and we keep going.

We’re back in the ring for likely the longest stretch of the match which is a nice change of pace. For some reason we have to get another replay of HHH going through the table. We get it already people. A chair comes into play and both men are down, or at least that’s what Styles says. Call me cracy, but Flair looks up to me. Flair continues making sense by going for the legs. He pulls the balls of HHH into the post as he seems slightly obsessed with them.

Lawler mentions that he hopes HHH isn’t planning on going out tonight. I certainly wouldn’t. If I had a wife like Stephanie I wouldn’t be going to work either so there we are. Flair bites HHH for the second time in the match, this time on the leg. Style infers that the biting could mess up the quad again. Oh come on now. Flair goes to town on the legs in a very slow old school style plus weapons. That’s not a bad idea actually.

The figure four makes HHH tap but it means nothing here. I love how he’ll give up in a match where it means nothing, but that’s a different story. They’re both back up now with HHH knocking Flair back down. HHH brings the steps in and for some reason that only Flair knows, he runs right at HHH and rams his head into the steps. That’s just stupid. This time HHH runs and Flair hits a drop toe hold to slam HHH into the steps. This is like a cartoon or something.

I know there’s not a lot being said here but a lot of this is either one or both guys laying there for a ten count which somehow takes about 30 seconds each. HHH gets a Pedigree to a big pop which means either the people are tired of this match or they like HHH. My guess is the former, because HHH is such a masterful heel that no one can hate him. I mean he’s the best of all time at everything right?

Flair of course gets up and takes another Pedigree but of course he gets up, this time throwing out a double bird to HHH. This just gets him beaten up more so he’s obviously the face. You very rarely see a heel being defiant and getting his beating because of it. The third Pedigree connects as this is complete overkill.

We get it: Flair is tough. There’s no need to kill the credibility of the Pedigree to prove this. A sledgehammer shot to I think the shoulder or something like that ends this. The fans are actually into this which is a good sign. I guess the reactions earlier on were for greatness, even though this wasn’t that great. It was good, but not great.

Rating: B-. This was very old school in nature so if you don’t like slower paced stuff, you’ll hate this. Both guys bring in a lot of psychology here which is exactly what they were supposed to do. The leg stuff worked quite well despite HHH not selling them at all at the end of the match. This was good at times but there were parts that just kind of sucked too.

The three Pedigrees were WAY too much and the fact that it took nearly half an hour to get rid of Flair is a bit of a stretch despite how great Flair is. Some people would love this while others will hate it, which to me is a good thing. It means that it’s not just a run of the mill match but rather something that gets an opinion out of people, which to me is always good.

After about three minutes of replays we see Flair being stretchered out of the arena.

Buy the Bret Hart DVD, which was quite good actually.

Team Smackdown says they have to make up for Batista’s injury while Bradshaw sounds stupid. This was a waste of three minutes of my life.

Edge and Lita come out to say that the Cutting Edge will be debuting soon. He was hurt at the moment so this was their way to keep him on camera which really is a great idea. Edge goes after Dmitri Young who is a hometown baseball guy in the front row. He and Lita insult Young for about five minutes with nothing of note to say about it. Yep, that was a waste of time.

We recap Kurt vs. Cena which was something like this: Angle wants a title show and has his own referee that’s going to cheat to make him win. That’s all you’ve got to know here.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Kurt Angle

This both has the big match feeling and doesn’t have it. I’m leaning towards no because of the spinner belt and Daivari as the referee. Angle looks far better in the darker colored singlet. The same can be said of Cena if you change the word singlet for long shorts. Angle naturally immediately starts on the leg as we have LOUD dueling chants. They’re out of sync though so it takes a trained ear to get what’s being said.

It’s nice hearing Styles speaking with an interest in the product. Ross and Lawler rarely sounded interested in matches and while Styles isn’t as great as he’s built up to be by any means, he’s awesome at times. Dang we’ve been going for about three minutes and those chants literally haven’t stopped. They’re quieting a bit but by no means are they stopping. If this was in front of a Wrestlemania sized crowd with these kinds of fans….good night that would be amazing.

These two could main event a Mania as well, and given Angle it’s not completely out of the question to have that happen. This is one of the hottest crowds I’ve ever seen. Cena gets a cover and Daivari just stands there and we have a story. Ankle lock is hooked, finally called the Angle Lock like it should have been many times before, and the referee is all over it. He finally gets the ropes and of course the hold isn’t broken.

He gets out himself and slaps the referee (I’ll be referring to him as that because Daivari requires that I think as I type) and Angle makes the diving save to stop the disqualification. Oh for those fans that might be new, Daivari is now known as Sheik Abdul Bashir in TNA. The referee gets bumped by Cena and we go to the floor. Angle pops his hips on a sweet belly to belly overhead suplex to Cena. That was always an awesome move.

A real referee comes down and we now have a far more normal match. They go to the mat for awhile and it occurs to me that Angle can get away with far more boring moves on the mat such as just basic grapples because of his background. When he uses something like a front facelock I buy it a lot more because he’s an Olympian. That just goes to show you what a real background can do for someone. Cena can do a great job of fighting back.

There’s just something about him that makes you want to watch him which is something that very few people can accomplish. There go those chants again. Cena starts the comeback as I’m starting to wonder where Daivari is. He didn’t get hit by anything huge. Cena just knocked Angle into him and he’s been down at least five minutes. Angle apparently needs glasses because he can’t see Cena. Man maybe he really does as he clotheslines the heck out of the referee and low blows Cena.

A third referee comes out and for some reason has NO problem with Angle laying out his colleague. Now wait a minute. As they mentioned earlier, it’s standard operating procedure for a new referee to run out in case the regular one gets knocked out. That means that someone, and I’d assume the referee that ran down, has to be watching the match in the back right? If not how would he know that he was needed in the ring? If that’s the case, why couldn’t he disqualify Angle?

This is what overbooking a match does to it: it brings up a lot of loopholes that aren’t needed. After a few minutes of good stuff, Angle misses a picture perfect moonsault. I mean that was lucha libre quality. Angle gets out of the FU and then hits the third referee and rolls Daivari, who is still out cold, back in.

A fourth referee, this one from Smackdown, comes out as Cena DDTs Daivari for no apparent reason as he was already out cold. With four people laying in the ring (Cena and three referees), Cena plays possum and Angle walks into the FU for the pin. I want more of this!

Rating: B+. This is a great example of a situation where the extra booking was 100% not needed. I was completely buying into this match which is something that very rarely happens to me. There’s a natural connection here that is very clear and it worked incredibly well. I don’t get why there needed to be the gimmick with the referees and things like that. A lot of the times less is more and this is certainly one of those times. I’d love to see these guys go at it even more.

Watch this really bad show that we’re calling a special!

Eric Bischoff vs. Teddy Long

Eric is of course dressed in his karate stuff, because anyone that follows tournament karate knows that Eric Bischoff is a great fighter. I will never get over Schiavone saying that at Starrcade 97. Teddy is with Palmer Cannon, who was a very short term character that was a representative of the network. He served absolutely zero purpose and I’ve never been sure what the point of having him was.

Granted to be fair I missed about a year and a half of Smackdown due to not having the station and just not being interested in it. I would always catch the spoilers though so I at least knew what was going on. The words to describe how I feel going into this match haven’t been invented yet. No good can come from this at all. It’s like the book in Hocus Pocus. To top it off, Cole and Coach are your commentators. I just had to stop the video for the sake of laughter.

Coach: “Eric Bischoff is a mixed martial artist.” I don’t care or know if that’s true or not but it’s the funniest image I can think of. Can you imagine him against Brock or GSP? Cole starts the Did You Know tradition with a stat that I’m not going to remember in a few seconds. Yep it’s gone. The bell rang 45 seconds ago. In that time they’ve avoided contact with each other, Teddy has posed on the ropes and then he danced a bit. This is riveting stuff!

Cole calls Bischoff Mr. Miyagi. The one liners for this match are going to take up a full page. After about a minute and a half I think we made contact but I’m not sure. Teddy dances more than Shawn Michaels imitating Shane. Cannon gets on the apron for no apparent reason and imitates the things that Long has been doing as Bischoff chokes Long with his belt. Why am I watching this? Oh there’s two referees, one from Raw one from Smackdown because this needs more people.

We have our second boring chant as we’re still doing the choking thing. Bischoff changes the pace a bit by using the world’s worst sleeper. Cannon gets up again and Long uses the distraction of both referees (since a guy named Palmer Cannon is obviously a major threat) to take his shoe off and hit Eric with it to break up the “hold”. Wouldn’t the shoe be legal? It’s not a foreign object unless it was made in Japan or something like that so I don’t get it.

Eric takes over again with a Kung Fu YEAH and a Karate Chop! Give me a break I have to make jokes like those to keep myself awake during this mess. We’re on boring chant number four and the Boogeyman’s music hits. He had only been around for a few weeks at this point and nothing was known about him.

The referees go up the ramp to stop him and naturally he’s behind Eric. I love how a guy like Boogeyman used a freaking pumphandle slam. Papa Shango used a shoulderbreak. I’m not sure which is dumber. Teddy gets the pin with ease and dances a bit more. He really is a tiny man. Ok so he dances a lot.

Rating: O, as in oh I can’t think about this anymore. Give me anything else please!

Armageddon proimo.

Team Smackdown is coming to the ring as the Smackdown guys cheer them on. The Raw guys do the same thing. The backstory here is simple. There was a special called WWE Homecoming where there was a Smackdown match scheduled but Bischoff canceled it because it wasn’t up to his standards. The feud sprang from there. Other than that, the only thing you need to know is that Eddie has just passed away and Orton is his replacement and Batista was injured by Show and Kane.

Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown

Raw: Shawn Michaels, Carlito, Chris Masters, Kane, Big Show
Smackdown: Batista, Rey Mysterio, Lashley, Randy Orton, JBL

All ten guys get their own entrances because we need to kill about ten minutes or so. To further the stupidity of this we’re having all five commentators here. HBK and Orton start us off. On both shows everyone has been attacking everyone so I’ll be withholding the so and so attacked so and so on so and so show. Even Styles and Tazz are arguing. They point out that Orton has been the sole survivor in the previous two Survivor Series.

Again, this is what announcers are supposed to do. Rey just looks out of place on the apron with all of these big guys. Orton and HBK do nothing but punch/chop each other for a few minutes as Tazz and the rest of the announcers have their stupid fights. For some reason Chris Masters is in the main event here in something that I just don’t get. Lashley comes in and gets a great pop. Lashley is about as green as possible here with next to zero experience.

He has the amateur background to fall back on though along with insane power so he can use both of those to avoid any actual wrestling. Is there a reason why amateur guys use a ton of suplexes? Angle, Lesnar and the Steiners were all suplex machines as well as all American wrestlers. Why is that? They all use belly to belly overhead suplexes. I’ve never gotten that. Is that supposed to be something that’s used in amateur wrestling, because I’ve never seen that done in the Olympics.

After he dominates Carlito (he hit him with the Dominator so he literally did), he goes for it on Shawn but Kane grabs him from the apron and hits a chokeslam to allow HBK to pin him. I guess that’s a smart move as it keeps Lashley from looking weak because cheating beat him. That’s about as good as you could have done there I suppose. Rey comes in after Lashley as HBK is still in there.

Kane comes in for Raw and Rey of course dominates him because Kane can’t look good in a big match ever. Kane and Show are Raw tag champions at the time too which I forgot to mention. Kane just about kills Rey with a boot. That was awesome looking. Tazz is just ripping into Coach on commentary.

It’s funny but it’s distracting as all five guys are fighting and not a thing is being said about the match. I’ve always found that to be incredibly disrespectful. It shouldn’t be about the announcers but about the wrestlers, period.

Batista comes in and after more double teaming he takes out Kane with a spinebuster. He gets up and walks into a Big Show chokeslam which doesn’t take him out. The double one from Kane and Big Show does though so we’re down to 4-3. JBL comes in next and in a flat out SCARY show of strength, Big Show catches him coming off the top rope. That’s ridiculous.

Soon thereafter, the whole Smackdown team attacks Show, beginning with a Clothesline From JBL, a 619, an RKO (Massive pop for that), a second Clothesline From JBL and all of that doesn’t keep him down, but Rey jumps on him and that’s enough for a 3. This is why I hate Rey. He’s one of my all time favorites but at times he makes me want to rip my hair out. Why should that pin Big Show when he was almost up from all of those finishers?

That just doesn’t make any sense. JBL destroys his future employee on the floor while we try to figure out who Rey is supposed to be fighting and it’s Masters. Carlito comes in and slows down everything with a chinlock that goes on far too long. HBK is still down on the floor from the fall away slam that JBL hit him with. Rey finally gets up and makes a blind tag to JBL. With Rey distracting him, Bradshaw hits one of the best Clotheslines From JBL I’ve ever seen.

He half kills Carlito and gets the easy pin. He proceeds to beat the holy tar out of Masters, thus continuing to prove his worth. It’s Rey in now as HBK is still down meaning that the hopes of Raw rest on the shoulders of Chris Masters. I don’t even need to make fun of that one. Rey Drops the Dime on him and makes it 3-1. Styles has barely talked the whole match.

Shawn is thrown back in and Rey hits the 619. He goes for something that wasn’t clear but takes a less great looking version of the ending Shawn and Shelton did to take him out. Here comes JBL and there goes JBL with another kick. Bradshaw was in there less than ten seconds. We’re down to Orton and Michaels. We hit the floor but Shawn launches himself over the ropes as we’re doing the same thing we did back in 2003 which had far better drama and emotion to it but whatever.

The fans chant WE WANT TAKER who had been promised for the show and we have less than ten minutes to go. Shawn initiates his ending sequence to a rather weak pop if that’s what you want to call it. The elbow hits but gets two. JBL is still here and swings at Shawn with a chair. Michaels kicks it in him face but turns around to set up the RKO for the pin. The Smackdown locker room hits the ring and have Orton on their collective shoulders and there’s the inevitable gong.

This was the fall after Orton had feuded with Taker. It’s the expensive Taker return, complete with druids and a casket. A HUGE lightning bolt hits the casket which has been set up and it’s lit on fire. Taker eventually kicks it open as this is seeing vaguely familiar.

Cole then points out that Orton had Taker in a coffin and lit it on fire, which is the same story that was done seven years prior with Kane. I remember that angle and the first was light years better. Taker come to the ring and beats up the Smackdown jobbers before staring down Orton to end the show. They would have a Hell in a Cell match at Armageddon to end their feud.

Rating: B. This was good enough, but Masters and Carlito being there just didn’t work for me. Lashley was a rookie and the ending was a rip off of a far better one a few years earlier. Shawn was the only one on his team worth having so putting him in the end was the best idea. This show lost a lot with Eddie not being there and the week of buildup that they lost but that was an issue for the whole show.

The match was good, but the ending leaves a bit to be desired. Smackdown won, but so what? It means nothing really, and that’s where this match falls apart for me. The wrestling is good and it feels like a big match when you’re watching it, but at the end you realize that nothing happened at all.

Overall Rating: B. This was actually a really good show. When I’m giving the overall grade I go back and look at the card and the grades I gave them but that’s not the main thing I go on. This is a great example of why that’s the case. The matches individually other than the GM match were all very good with nothing at all not above watchable. However, there’s just something about this show that I can’t put my finger on. Something keeps this show from being great.

Maybe it’s the lack of build which wasn’t anything they could help due to Eddie, but it still takes away from the show. The wrestling here is great but the emotion isn’t there. Maybe their thoughts were on Eddie or something like that, but there’s just something missing from this show and it keeps it from being excellent. Certainly recommended, but that X factor isn’t there.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

 




Crown Jewel 2019: I’ll Admit It

IMG Credit: WWE

Crown Jewel 2019
Date: October 31, 2019
Location: King Fahd International Stadium
Commentators: Corey Graves, Michael Cole

This is one of those things that we just have to get through. The wrestling isn’t the problem here as the action will likely be acceptable enough. The problem is going to be some of the decisions that are made, as WWE tends to lose their minds around here. Couple that with the fact that this is going to be built around part time wrestlers and mainstream athletes. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Battle Royal

Sunil Singh, Mojo Rawley, Erick Rowan, R-Truth, Sin Cara, The Brian Kendrick, Titus O’Neil, Tony Nese, Akira Tozawa, Shelton Benjamin, Apollo Crews, Buddy Murphy, Andrade, Drake Maverick, Eric Young, Luke Harper, Cedric Alexander, Heath Slater, Humberto Carrillo, No Way Jose

The winner gets a US Title shot at AJ Styles on the main show. Thankfully we do get a point made about the 24/7 Title being suspended during the match. It’s the usual brawl to start until Rowan tosses Maverick out first. Rowan gets sent to the apron but holds on to eliminate Slater and Nese.

Harper gets rid of Kendrick and Young, followed by Rawley and Cara going out as well. Crews gets rid of Titus and we take a break. Back with Harper and Rowan having a staredown but Jose recommends dancing. Harper gets in on it before blasting him with the discus lariat. That’s it for Jose, so Tozawa goes after Rowan by asking for a fight. Harper looks down at him and reality sets in, followed by the quick elimination. There goes Crews and Rowan shoves Murphy out as well.

Truth and Andrade follow them out and we’re down to Harper, Rowan, Singh, Carrillo and Alexander. Singh is out as well and we’re down to four. The fans like Harper so he and Rowan get rid of Alexander. Singh goes to leave but Truth steals the pin and the title (because the title was only being protected until Singh was eliminated instead of the whole match). The Mob chases Truth off and the double teaming continues. Carrillo shrugs them off though and gets rid of both monsters for the win at 12:24.

Rating: D+. Keeping these matches short(ish) is the best thing that can be done as they just aren’t going to work very well more often than not. Carrillo winning is perfectly fine and I’m sure the match with Styles is going to be fine. That’s all it needs to be as there aren’t exactly high expectations going into a match like this.

The opening video looks at the main events and little more. It’s a really standard, generic video.

The set does look awesome, as it usually does.

WWE Championship: Brock Lesnar vs. Cain Velasquez

Lesnar is defending and gets a monster pop. Rey Mysterio is here with Velasquez, who does look a little better in ring gear than he has recently (emphasis on a little). They start slowly as Lesnar has learned from what got him in trouble against Cain the first time. Lesnar takes him into the corner for some clinch fighting but Cain gets in a kick to the head to drop the champ. Ground and pound ensues but Brock grabs the Kimura for the win at 2:07.

Post match Lesnar won’t let go so Rey hits him with a chair, earning himself a toss to the floor. Brock chairs Cain down and hits the F5 onto the chair. Rey comes back in with another chair and swings it quite well for someone with one good arm. Enough shots connect to send Lesnar outside and we would have a fresh challenge if the Brand Split didn’t exist. I mean, I’m sure that’s going to last of course, right?

The Revival is ready to be named best in the world.

The Viking Raiders are ready to fight and beat everyone up.

Tag Team Turmoil

Non-title and there are nine teams with the winners getting a big trophy. Robert Roode/Dolph Ziggler and the Lucha House Party start things off with Kalisto as the odd man out. Ziggler takes Dorado into the corner to start and hits a dropkick to really take over. Roode comes in and gets caught with the Golden Rewind, allowing the House Party to take over on the arm. A gordbuster gets Roode out of trouble though and Ziggler comes back in for a Fameasser into a crossface of all things.

That’s broken up and Dorado gets up top for a high crossbody to Ziggler, allowing the diving tag (with his head) to bring in Metalik. There’s the rope walk dropkick to Roode and everything breaks down. Roode shoves Dorado off the top into a superkick from Ziggler, followed by another superkick to Metalik. The Glorious DDT gets rid of House Party at 5:45.

Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder are in third and it’s a quick Samoan drop/Blockbuster combination (with Ryder completely missing the Blockbuster part) for two on Roode. Not that it matters as the Zig Zag/spinebuster combination finishes Ryder at 6:53. Heavy Machinery is in fourth and Tucker wrestles Ziggler to the mat without much effort. Roode comes back in and Ziggler hits a cheap shot to take over though and the big guys are in trouble.

We hit the chinlock for a bit before Tucker gets taken outside for a ram into the barricade. Back in and Tucker drops Roode, allowing the tag off to Otis to start cleaning house. Otis’ shirt comes off and the jiggling starts fast. Ziggler pulls Roode to the floor before the Caterpillar, so Heavy Machinery settles for the Compactor to get rid of Roode at 13:24.

New Day is in fifth and Big E. starts fast with a battle over an abdominal stretch with Tucker. Big E. manages to stay on his feet while bending backwards and even applauds himself to show off. A double clothesline puts them both down so it’s off to Kofi vs. Otis. Kofi gets knocked down this time and the Caterpillar connects this time, meaning it’s another double tag. Tucker suplexes Big E. for two but misses a middle rope crossbody.

Kofi comes back in and there’s the Midnight Hour to get rid of Heavy Machinery at 17:32. The B Team is in sixth with Axel hitting a quick clothesline to the back of Big E.’s head to take over. Dallas grabs the chinlock but Big E. isn’t having that and pops up for the Big Ending and the elimination at 19:34.

The Revival is in seventh and Dawson takes Kofi into the corner to start but Kofi hits a dropkick to Wilder. That just earns him a powerslam for two and it’s back to Dawson, who gets dropped onto Kofi with a legdrop for two. An armbar doesn’t last long though as Kofi hits the SOS, only to have Dawson break up the hot tag. A top rope knee to the face gets two on Kofi…who counters a suplex into a small package to finish Dawson at 25:22. Post fall the Revival isn’t done though and lay out New Day, including a Shatter Machine.

The OC is in eighth but Kofi hits a double stomp on Anderson. Gallows pulls Big E. off the apron though and it’s the Magic Killer to finish New Day at 27:00. The Viking Raiders are the final team and it’s Gallows kneeing Erik in the ribs to start. Erik gets knocked off the apron and a snap suplex gives Gallows two back inside. The chinlock is broken up though and it’s back to Ivar to pick up the pace, including a cartwheel to show off. Erik slams Ivar onto Anderson but Gallows is back in to kick Erik down. The Magic Killer gets the pin at 32:16, marking the Raiders’ first pinfall loss in WWE.

Rating: C-. It wasn’t even that bad of a match but it was a lot of completely average stuff until a stupid ending. You spend two and a half years setting up the Raiders as these unstoppable monsters and then the OC, who weren’t even fresh, just pin them? The OC? Really? As in the team who was ready to leave earlier this year? Really not a fan of this, as the Vikings shouldn’t have lost heading into the hoss fight against the AOP.

We recap Lesnar vs. Velasquez and Mysterio cleaning house after the match.

Rey promises revenge on Lesnar.

Cesaro vs. Mansoor

Cesaro slaps him in the face and Mansoor isn’t having that so he’ll take a wristlock from Cesaro instead. Mansoor knocks him down and gets two off a standing moonsault, followed by the armdrag into the armbar. A dropkick puts Cesaro on the floor and it’s a dropkick through the ropes to keep him down. The dive through the ropes is cut off with an uppercut and it’s Mansoor being sent into the barricade.

Back in and the chinlock is broken up in a hurry so Cesaro pulls him off the middle rope for two instead. Now the chinlock can stay on for a bit and a belly to back suplex gets two more. Cesaro gets dropkicked out of the air though and the comeback is on, including an enziguri. The tornado DDT gives Mansoor two so Cesaro uppercuts him down.

Mansoor is back with a slingshot neckbreaker for another near fall but Cesaro nails Swiss Death into the Crossface. That’s broken up as well and Mansoor hits a superkick for a close two. Cesaro gets ticked off and tries a gutwrench superplex but Mansoor counters into a sunset bomb. A moonsault gives Mansoor the clean pin at 12:38.

Rating: B-. This was actually quite the fun match and Mansoor is more than good enough to hang in a regular match. He isn’t ready for the main roster or anything but being a regular on NXT wouldn’t be out of the question. This was the least surprising result on the show and there’s nothing wrong with that here. Nice match and the fans were WAY into this.

Post match Mansoor talks about waking up and knowing that this was the match of his life. He was nervous but then he came into the stadium and the fans made him ready. Now he cannot wait to see what they do next. He speaks some Arabic and the fans seem rather pleased.

Seth Rollins says the Fiend has taken him to some dark places but a little part of him likes it. No matter what happens tonight, he didn’t start the fight but he’s going to finish it.

Survivor Series will be Raw vs. Smackdown vs. NXT. I’m so thrilled.

We recap Tyson Fury vs. Braun Strowman. Fury was at the premiere of Smackdown and got into it with Strowman. Now they’re having a battle of the sports.

Tyson Fury vs. Braun Strowman

Fury comes out to It’s Your Thing by the Isley Brothers (or at least a cover of it) and is in the traditional Saudi robes. Strowman powers him into the corner to start and there’s the hard shove. Some shots to the body don’t do much to Strowman so Fury nips up (kind of) out of a wristlock. A big boot drops Fury though and reality seems to set in. Strowman hits the post, as usual, and falls to the floor, only to drop Fury with a right hand.

Fury gets some boots up to drop Strowman right back though and it’s a big boot of his own for two (he didn’t seem to know how to cover, though he did hook a leg). Strowman is right back with a sledge to the chest so Fury does the Undertaker sit up. A World’s Strongest Slam plants Fury so he bails to the floor, where Strowman hits the running shoulders. Back in and Fury nails the right hand to knock Strowman off the apron and that’s a countout at 7:59.

Rating: D. Fury tried but this really didn’t work. Other than the big right hand at the end, Fury didn’t show anything of note here, though it’s just not his sport and he’s been training for what, a few weeks at most? Fury wasn’t a disaster or anything, but it was something that felt a lot longer than it was. Strowman losing by countout is a bit of a relief though and I’ll take a small victory where I can.

Post match Strowman hits the running powerslam and Fury pops up to shout at him some more.

We recap R-Truth regaining the 24/7 Title.

Truth runs again but runs into the Singh Brothers, who steal the title back.

US Title: AJ Styles vs. Humberto Carrillo

AJ is defending and has the OC, with trophy, in his corner. Styles goes right for him and the fight is on in a hurry with a knee to the ribs taking Carrillo down. A dropkick puts AJ on the floor but he’s ready to avoid the big dive. Back in and AJ hits another knee to set up the chinlock as things settle down a bit. Carrillo gets up again but the springboard armdrag is shoved away.

A brainbuster gives AJ two but Carrillo comes right back with the handspring armdrag and a high crossbody for two. An exchange of jumping kicks to the head leaves them both down and we get a breather. They go the apron with AJ flipping him over the post, only to get caught with a dropkick.

There’s the dive to the floor to drop Styles again and Carrillo grabs a sunset flip for two back inside. The Phenomenal Blitz takes Carrillo down again and the Calf Crusher goes on. Carrillo gets to the ropes and the leg is fine enough for a jumping kick to the head. An attempted moonsault tweaks the knee though and the Phenomenal Forearm retains the title at 12:38.

Rating: C+. The completely acceptable wrestling (for the wrestlers at least) continues in a match without that shocking of a finish. There are a lot of people who could take the title from AJ but you can tell who are just the challengers of the month. It was Alexander last week and now it’s Carrillo. The OC being dominant is a good idea for the short term though as you can have someone knock them off later and wins like this will make that one mean more down the line.

Hulk Hogan dubs Byron Saxton Beautiful Byron before promising to destroy Ric Flair once and for all. Team Hogan has been training day and night with Hogan making them drink sand.

Natalya vs. Lacey Evans

I never thought I would see the day. Natalya is in her regular gear with a t-shirt over it and Lacey is in long pants, a long sleeved shirt and a Lacey shirt. The fans seem rather into this one, second only to the Mansoor match so far. They shake hands to start and Lacey spins out of a wristlock but gets rolled up for two. That gets another round of applause and a second handshake before a headlock takeover puts Lacey down. That’s broken up so Natalya sends Lacey outside and strikes her pose.

Lacey knocks the leg out though and nails the slingshot dropkick, followed by the chinlock. A slingshot elbow gives Lacey two and it’s time to work on the arm. That’s broken up and Lacey takes the belly to back drop into the stepover dropkick. It’s too early for the Sharpshooter so Lacey grabs a suplex to set up the double jump moonsault for two more. Lacey loads it up again but gets pulled off the ropes this time, allowing Natalya to nail the discus lariat. Now the Sharpshooter goes on for the tap at 7:19.

Rating: C. The match was pretty paint by numbers and could have been on any given house show. That’s completely not the point though as this is one of those things that seemed impossible and yet they managed to make it happen. I have no idea if it is going to lead anywhere or make any real difference, but they did something and that’s more than you would have expected possible. Well done and it actually is historic for a change.

Post match we see a bunch of young girls cheering and there is a lot of emotion from both women.

Team Hogan vs. Team Flair

Hogan: Roman Reigns, Shorty G., Ali, Rusev, Ricochet

Flair: Randy Orton, Shinsuke Nakamura, Bobby Lashley, King Corbin, Drew McIntyre

One fall to a finish and Ricochet is in full body gear due to tattoos. Nakamura and Gable start things off with Gable going straight for the ankle but getting kneed down for his efforts. Corbin comes in for a few shots before handing it off to Lashley. Gable gets over for the tag to Rusev and Lashley brings McIntyre in as fast as he can. A spinwheel kick puts McIntyre down and it’s Ali coming in to work on McIntyre’s arm.

McIntyre takes over with the power and shoves him hard onto the apron to really put him in trouble. Orton gets in some shots to the face on the floor and Nakamura/McIntyre add in their own kicks to the ribs. Ali is fine enough to dive over for the hot tag to Ricochet so the pace can pick up. A few rooms of the house are cleaned but Corbin gets in a cheap shot so McIntyre can hit the reverse Alabama slam.

The beating is on, including Corbin’s required chinlock. The chokeslam is countered into a sunset flip to give Ricochet two so Corbin blasts him with a clothesline. Flair busts out the strut to a big reaction but Ricochet gets a boot up in the corner, followed by a spinning kick to Orton’s jaw. The hot tag brings in Reigns to clean house with right hands, clotheslines and a big boot/legdrop to Corbin. Everything breaks down and the RKO is blocked, setting up the Superman Punch for two.

Reigns gets taken to the floor so Rusev makes the save, leaving him to beat up Lashley. That earns Rusev a low bridge but Reigns is back in with a Superman Punch to Lashley. The big dive over the top takes everyone down and another Superman Punch is countered into the RKO for a close two. You don’t see that one kicked out of very often. The Punt is loaded up but Gable grabs the boot. Ali and Ricochet take Orton down and hit stereo dives to the floor. Reigns spears Orton for the pin at 19:49.

Rating: B-. Obvious ending aside (it was only about who was going to get the pin on whom), this was a perfectly enjoyable and at times even good, tag match. I was expecting this to headline the show for the sake of star power but it’s not like Hogan beating Flair was any secret. At least Flair didn’t get physical, which is the best choice for everyone involved.

Team Hogan celebrates.

The announcers talk about Survivor Series.

We recap Seth Rollins vs. the Fiend. Rollins defeated him in the Cell in one of the dumbest things that WWE has done in years and now they’re having a Falls Count Anywhere rematch which can’t be stopped for any reason. On Halloween. With a supernatural character. There is no way they can screw this up, so let’s see how they manage to screw this up.

Universal Title: Seth Rollins vs. The Fiend

Rollins is defending and it’s Falls Count Anywhere. They’re doing the red light deal again too, because that worked so well last time. Fiend is still in his jacket to start and hits Rollins in the throat. A headbutt puts Rollins down and the jacket comes off. The Sling Blade connects but Fiend is right back with the running crossbody. They fight outside with Fiend being sent into an LED screen, followed by the fighting around ringside.

Rollins loads up some tables on top of each other but opts to grab a chair and sledgehammer. Fiend avoids getting his skull caved in and loads up the Arabic announce table. The running backsplash only hits table though and Rollins gets one. Rollins goes up but gets shoved through both tables for the big crash. Fiend takes forever to go over and get him but opts to pull back the floor mats instead.

That of course means a Stomp onto the concrete for no cover as they fight onto a platform. Sister Abigail onto the platform gives Fiend two so they go up to the stage. Another Stomp is no sold so Rollins hits a pair of superkicks. Another two Stomps slow Fiend down and it’s another to keep him down for a few seconds.

There’s another two of them and a series of superkicks sends Wyatt into the tech area for the explosions. Some fire extinguishers are brought out and more pyro goes off, with Rollins getting caught in the eye. Fiend pops up like a monster and grabs the Mandible Claw, setting up Sister Abigail on the floor for the pin and the title at 21:26.

Rating: B-. I’m actually shocked here. They can figure out the Raw/Smackdown situation later but what matters here is they changed the title as they should have here. This should have taken place in the Cell but at least WWE figured out that something needed to be done. It was also a heck of a fight, even if they had the ridiculous spamming of finishers from Rollins. What matters here though is the title change and they got that right, so maybe they’re not completely insane.

The lights go out and come back on so Fiend can pose with the title.

A lot of pyro ends the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I’ll gladly admit I was wrong about this one as they realized they screwed up in the Cell and switched gears while also delivering a pretty good show. There were a few historical points on the card and nothing was terrible (Fury vs. Strowman was bad but there’s a big asterisk with it), but more importantly it feels like something mattered here, which is one of the biggest problems with this show most of the time. It’s no classic and isn’t worth watching, but they addressed some of the bigger problems and had an entertaining enough show, making this a miracle by comparison to the rest of the shows.

Results

Brock Lesnar b. Cain Velasquez – Kimura

OC won Tag Team Turmoil last eliminating the Viking Raiders

Mansoor b. Cesaro – Moonsault

Tyson Fury b. Braun Strowman via countout

AJ Styles b. Humberto Carrillo – Phenomenal Forearm

Natalya b. Lacey Evans – Sharpshooter

Team Hogan b. Team Flair – Spear to Orton

The Fiend b. Seth Rollins – Sister Abigail onto the floor

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 1991 (2012 Redo): This Still Gets On My Nerves

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 1991
Date: November 27, 1991
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 17,500
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

This show marks a change of pace from the Survivor Series formula and it was for the better. The fans saw little to no reason to buy a pay per view with nothing on the line, so giving them a traditional main event to look forward to. The rest of the show follows the normal formula though, and thankfully there are no eggs here. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from Superstars with Savage being tied up in the ropes as Jake made the cobra bite Savage’s arm. Piper immediately ran down from the broadcast booth to try to help. Liz came out screaming as well. This is when Savage was a commentator and retired but looking for reinstatement.

The key thing is he had been scheduled to be on the PPV as a captain against Jake’s team, but because of this, both captains were pulled off the show with three days’ notice as mentioned above. The actual match between the two of them would be a week later on a different PPV called Tuesday in Texas, which was another $20. It felt like a total ripoff because that’s exactly what it was.

Anyway back on Superstars, Savage can’t stand up because of the snake bite but he keeps trying to fight Jake. They finally get Savage on a stretcher and start wheeling him away but he falls off. Now we get to the unintentional comedy. Savage falls off the stretcher and Vince is freaking out on commentary. The camera cuts to a crying child in the crowd and Vince loses it, audibly cracking up on air and trying to talk about “complete chaos” while clearly laughing.

We get the announcement from WWF President Jack Tunney that Savage and Roberts won’t be allowed to wrestle at Survivor Series. This is translated as “HAHA WE GOT YOUR MONEY ALREADY!”

Gorilla and Bobby talk for a bit.

Team Ric Flair vs. Team Roddy Piper

Ric Flair, Ted DiBiase, The Mountie, The Warlord

Roddy Piper, Bret Hart, Davey Boy Smith, Virgil

It’s also back to the simple team names this year. Roddy was Flair’s first feud in the company and not only did you know the matches would be good, but the promos would be awesome too. Bret was feuding with Mountie over the Intercontinental Title, Smith was feuding with Warlord over who was stronger and Virgil was feuding with DiBiase because who else was he going to feud with?

Flair has the REAL World Title with him here, which is censored but if you know your titles, you can see a WWF Tag Team Title, which looks really weird if you’re in the arena (for clarification, the short version is Flair was NWA Champion, left the NWA, wasn’t paid back for the deposit he put down on the belt, brought it to the WWF, got sued, and couldn’t use the title in the angle they were doing anymore so they would substitute in another belt which was censored in storyline.)

Big reaction for Bret, who has finally split from Neidhart and is Intercontinental Champion as of Summerslam. DiBiase starts for his team against Piper, which is a pretty awesome match by itself. No managers are allowed at ringside this year but Sherri is there anyway. Flair sneaks in and blasts Piper in the back to give Ted an early advantage. Piper atomic drops Ted and Sherri comes in to choke him, which somehow isn’t a DQ. Piper kisses her and punches DiBiase to take over.

Sherri is sent to the back and Roddy brings in Smith. The good guys work over the arm of DiBiase with Virgil of all people getting the biggest pop. After all four go in they start going around again with all four getting in another set of shots on the arm. Bret stays in but misses a knee in the corner to put himself in trouble. They trade near falls before Bret takes Ted right back down by the arm.

DiBiase hiptosses him down and wisely tags in Flair. Bret starts with some of his favorite moves before tagging in Davey Boy to slingshot Flair into the corner. Piper wants in but Flair stops the tag. There’s the gorilla press to Flair and the tag to Piper, drawing a BIG pop from the crowd. Piper goes nuts with punches, knocking Flair to the floor for a Flair Flop.

Back inside and it’s off to Warlord who Piper wants to try a test of strength against. Piper is just playing though and brings in Smith for the big power match. Smith hits some shoulder blocks but misses a charge and it’s off to Mountie. Bret tags in and Mountie immediately hits the floor like a cowardly heel should. Instead here’s DiBiase who gets elbowed off the middle rope for two. Ted and Bret hit head to head and both guys are down.

Mountie is willing to get in there now but it’s back to Davey instead. Smith gorilla presses Mountie and pumps him about three times before slamming him down for no cover. Off to Flair who chops away at the Bulldog which doesn’t work at all. DiBiase and Flair try a double team but get double clotheslined instead. There’s the powerslam to Mountie but he’s not legal. Flair comes off the top with a shot to the back of Smith’s head for the pin and the elimination. Both guys were legal too so well done on keeping order.

Piper immediately charges in but Flair tags DiBiase back instead. Flair comes in to face a downed Piper but Ric is put in the Figure Four almost immediately. That goes nowhere so it’s off to Mountie vs. Virgil and Mountie can’t get a tag out from anyone. You know, because everyone is afraid of Virgil. Flair comes in and has zero luck so it’s DiBiase vs. Virgil again. Ted powerslams him down and it’s immediately back to the Warlord.

Virgil gets sent to the floor and Flair whips him into the steps, with Virgil doing an awful job of pretending to slam into them. The Warlord’s full nelson goes on but everything breaks down and Bret comes off the top to take out Warlord, giving the illegal Piper the pin to tie us up at 3-3. It’s Piper vs. DiBiase now before Virgil is quickly tagged in. Virgil slaps the Million Dollar Dream on DiBiase but Ted sends him into the buckle to escape.

Here’s Flair again with a belly to back suplex before it’s back to Mountie. Every remaining heel takes their shots on Virgil in what is likely the best possible option. Flair covers him for two and puts his feet on the ropes because that’s what Flair does. DiBiase comes in and ducks his head, only to get caught by a swinging neckbreaker. There’s the hot tag to Piper who no sells everything Flair throws at him. Everything breaks down and Flair is sent to the floor. That’s important because the referee disqualifies EVERYONE in the ring, but Flair was outside and is the sole survivor.

Rating: B. Gah this was going AWESOME until the pretty lame ending. Having Flair be the sole survivor is a smart move though as it makes the fans hate him even more. This was a GREAT setup though and was on pace to be a classic before the ending. To be fair though, at the pace they were going the match would have been an hour long if they were going to do a full version. Still though, what we got was very good.

Gene is on the platform and brings out Savage to talk about Jake, because we can’t have the match on this show so let’s talk about it instead. Savage talks about being bitten by the snake and being able to see and hear Liz crying, which is the worst thing Jake could do. He promises to be all over Jake like melted butter. Oh man stuff just got REAL. Liz comes out in what is presented as a bigger deal than it should be. As usual, she has nothing to say.

Gorilla thinks Tuesday in Texas may be on TV! I think he might be wrong here.

Team Mustafa vs. Team Slaughter

Colonel Mustafa, Berzerker, Skinner, Hercules

Sgt. Slaughter, Tito Santana, Jim Duggan, Texas Tornado

Skinner is an alligator wrestler from the Everglades and Berzerker is a crazy viking who tried to stab Undertaker with a sword. A lot of these guys are on their way out. Hercules would be in WCW by May, Tornado would job to the stars until leaving in July, as would Mustafa (Iron Sheik). The rest of the guys would do nothing of note for the rest of their time in the company.

Kerry looks high as a kite and almost falls off the apron getting into the ring. This is pretty recently after Slaughter’s face turn as he was a heel at Summerslam. This isn’t exactly the most talent laden match ever and the only feud is Slaughter vs. Mustafa due to their recent split.

Tito and Skinner start with Santana taking over with a headlock. There’s the flying forearm out of nowhere and Skinner hits the floor without a cover. Off to Berzerker vs. Tornado, which would work a lot better down in Dallas. Berzerker misses a dropkick and it’s off to Mustafa. After some very brief offense, Kerry tumbles to his corner and brings in Duggan to face Hercules, which took place in the first ever match at Survivor Series.

Duggan gets taken down by double and triple teaming and it’s off to Mustafa. He loads up his curled boots and does nothing with them. Duggan pounds away and backdrops Mustafa down before the hot tag to Slaughter. The big showdown is an atomic drop and a clothesline to Mustafa for the elimination.

Berzerker comes in with some clotheslines and a kick to Slaughter’s fat gut. A boot to Slaughter’s face puts him down and it’s off to Hercules for some two counts. Back to the viking who gets crotched on the top rope and kicked in the legs. Off to Duggan who clotheslines Berzerker to the floor, only to have Berzerker come back in for a backdrop back out to the floor. Tornado comes in and pounds away on him before it’s off to Hercules again.

Tito gets a blind tag and hits a forearm to the back of the head (El Paso Del Muerte) for the pin and the elimination. Skinner comes in as it’s 4-2. I don’t see this going well for Mustafa’s team. A blind tag brings in Slaughter who rolls up Skinner for the elimination. Slaughter whips Berzerker into Duggan’s clothesline for the elimination and the win.

Rating: F. The match was awful, it was never in doubt, and the biggest deal on the heel team was Skinner, who would get an Intercontinental Title shot soon after this. What a horrible match and one of the most worthless ones in the history of the show so far, which is covering quite a bit of ground. Nothing to see here at all.

Here’s Jake to plug Tuesday in Texas some more. To be fair, Jake saying “trust me” in that evil voice of his was amazing. Jake swears he didn’t know that the snake had venom in it still but making Liz cry excited him. God has told Jake that God doesn’t like Okerlund, so let’s blame everyone but Jake. I said he was awesome, not that he made sense. No reptiles are allowed at the match between Savage and Roberts. He wants to kiss Liz and that’s about it.

We recap Hogan vs. Undertaker. Flair confronted Hogan in the Funeral Parlor (Undertaker’s interview segment) and went off on him about hearing about Hogan for years. Now Flair is here and wants to know what Hogan is going to do about it. Hogan pulled off the shirt and Undertaker came out of a standing casket behind Hulk and hit him with the urn. Piper and Savage ran out of the broadcast booth with chairs but Undertaker literally swatted away Savage’s swing. Undertaker rips Hogan’s cross off ala Andre in 87 and leaves.

WWF World Title: Undertaker vs. Hulk Hogan

Undertaker is “undefeated” here, which means overseas tours and house shows don’t count because Tito Santana beat him in Spain and Warrior beat him on a bunch of house shows. Feeling out process to start with no one being able to get a real advantage. Undertaker shoulders Hogan and Hulk regroups a bit while Undertaker reaches to the urn. Back in and Undertaker chokes away in the corner in a shot you see in a lot of his video packages.

Bearer chokes Hogan a bit and Undertaker slams him. A big elbow misses and the place cheers loudly. Hulk pounds away but he can’t put him down. A slam doesn’t work, nor does an elbow to the head. Hogan clotheslines UNdertaker to the floor where the Dead Man lands on his feet and pulls Hogan outside. Back in and Undertaker chokes away some more and Bearer does the same. Undertaker starts smothering him as you can see the Hogan super fan, a guy who dressed up like Hulk (including yellow trunks) sitting in the front row and freaking out.

This hold goes on for a good while, which is just Undertaker having his hand on Hogan’s face and doing nothing else. By long I mean like two and a half minutes. When the whole match is only thirteen minutes, that’s quite the stretch. Hogan comes back with some shoulder blocks that don’t do much, only to haveUndertaker clothesline him down again. There’s the Tombstone but Hogan is up before a cover. He pounds away on Undertaker and knocks him down to one knee which is a very rare sight.

Hogan gets a good slam as Flair is on his way to the ring in his spiffy black and white robs. Hogan takes out Flair with a right hand and big boots Undertaker, only to have Bearer grab his leg. Undertaker loads up the Tombstone as Flair slides in a chair. The piledriver on the chair gives us a new champion and a decisive face pop for the Dead Man. Undertaker holding the title like it’s a coupon for a free coffee at a gas station is a nice touch.

Rating: D. Yeah this match completely sucked but we have a new champion and a reason to watch Flair vs. Hogan, which never happened for various reason. Hogan would beat Undertaker for the title at Tuesday in Texas six days later, but the title would be held up and decided in the Rumble, where Flair would win it and set up Wrestlemania. Bad match, but a BIG moment.

People come out to check on Hogan as Gorilla rips into Flair. Hogan takes a while to leave, likely to let the fans get over some of their shock.

Roddy is in the back and goes on a big rant against Tunney and Flair andUndertaker.

Flair and Perfect say they told us this would happen and now they’ve been proven right. Flair is the REAL World Champion now.

Intermission, which means we see a graphic for fifteen minutes. Seriously, there’s nothing other than a graphic and a countdown clock.

Gene recaps what’s happened so far in case someone ordered the PPV halfway through for some reason.

The Natural Disasters and IRS are ready for the Legion of Doom and Boss Man. That’s the main event. They’re not even hiding the ripping off of the fans anymore.

Legion of Doom and the Boss Man are ready too. Seriously there’s nothing else to say here. They say exactly what you would expect them to say and nothing else. Hawk gets ready to do the WHAT A RUSH line but as he loads it up, Sean interrupts him to say Gene is with Jack Tunney. Hawk gives him a look that would stop a tank and says his catchphrase, then lets Sean throw it to Gene.

Tunney announces Hogan vs. Undertaker II at Tuesday in Texas. He’ll be at ringside as well, driving the boredom levels shoot through the roof, if that’s even possible.

Team Nasty Boys vs. Team Rockers

Nasty Boys, Beverly Brothers

Rockers, Bushwhackers

This is right before the Rockers split and they’re already having issues. This is regular rules, which means individual eliminations and not one loss means both team members are gone. Butch and Knobbs (Brian Knobbs of the Nasty Boys along with Jerry Sags) get things going as Gorilla and Bobby talk about Hogan vs. Undertaker II. Butch hits a running knee lift and it’s off to Luke. Luke and Butch take over on the Nasty Boys with a pair of double clotheslines.

The Beverly Brothers come in and do about as well as Knobbs and Sags with both Brothers taking a Battering Ram. The Rockers double dropkick the Nasty Boys and the good guys have cleared the ring. It’s Shawn vs. Beau Beverly (the other is Blake) now as the announcers debate which guy on either team is the brains. A backbreaker puts Shawn down and it’s back to Knobbs. Luke comes in and avoids a splash in the corner but whacks his arms too much, allowing Knobbs to hit a middle rope clothesline for the elimination.

Off to Shawn vs. Sags with Jerry suplexing him down. Gorilla talks about how tonight will culminate at Tuesday in Texas. Some annoying fan stands up and poses for the camera so the shots keep cutting away a lot. The Rockers work on Sags’ arm before it’s off to Blake. Gorilla somehow can’t tell the Rockers apart, even though they pretty much look nothing alike and have been together for years now.

A superkick puts Blake down but he comes back with knees in the corner. Marty comes off the middle rope and shoves the referee for no apparent reason. It doesn’t go anywhere so I guess it was a mistake. Off to Beau who doesn’t do much other than allow a tag to Butch who cleans house. The Beverlies double team him with a backdrop into a facejam for the pin and the elimination.

It’s Nasty Boys/Beverly Brothers vs. Rockers now with Marty coming in again. Marty monkey flips and hurricanranas Beau down for two as Heenan and Gorilla trade statements of excitement. An enziguri puts Beau down again and it’s off to an armbar. It’s also off to Shawn, who doesn’t do as well as you would expect against one of the Beverly Brothers. Off to Blake who jumps over Beau and lands on Shawn’s back in a move later used by the World’s Greatest Tag Team.

Out of nowhere Shawn grabs a backslide on Beau for the pin to make it 3-1. Sags is in next as Gorilla thinks Marty should reach further for a tag. Even though the Rockers would split less than a month later, it wasn’t clear yet who would have gotten the super push. The Nasty Boys head to the floor and Shawn clotheslines Sags off the apron and superkicks Knobbs down. Back in and Sags takes over again. Marty’s eyes are just gone and he looks awful.

Blake comes in again and gets kicked in the face, allowing for a falling tag to Marty. A big jumping back elbow takes Knobbs down and a snapmare gets two. Knobbs takes Jannetty down again and Heenan talks about Tuesday in Texas. Off to Sags with a powerslam and a belly to back suplex before it’s back to Knobbs. Marty gets his knees up to stop a middle rope splash and there’s the tag to Shawn. Everything breaks down and Marty swings Sags’ feet into Shawn’s face, resulting in Knobbs rolling Michaels up for the pin.

That leaves us with Marty vs. Blake and the Nastys. Shawn freaks out on him before he leaves too to even further tease the tension. Marty starts with Knobbs and hits a middle rope bulldog but Jerry takes him down almost immediately and knocks him to the floor. A powerslam from Blake puts Marty down and the Nastys head to the floor. Jannetty dives on both of them and slams Blake’s face into the mat. Marty hooks a terrible looking small package on Sags but Knobbs rolls them over to give Jerry the final eliminating pin.

Rating: D. Man alive this was a long match. That’s the problem the rest of this show has created: there’s nothing else worth watching for the rest of the night and now they’re just filling in time to say that you’re getting a PPV that means something, when really you need to see the sequel to get the full thing.

Gorilla and Bobby plug Tuesday in Texas again.

Legion of Doom/Big Boss Man vs. IRS/Natural Disasters

This is your main event people. Let that sink in for a minute. The LOD are the Tag Team Champions and IRS (Irwin R. Schyster, a tax auditor) and Boss Man are having a worthless midcard feud. Boss Man and IRS start things off with the tax man getting thrown all over the place. Off to Animal vs. Earthquake which wakes the crowd up a bit.

They collide and Animal’s cross body is caught in a backbreaker in an impressive display of strength from Earthquake. Back to IRS to face Hawk with the latter working on the arm. Typhoon gets the tag, only to have IRS thrown at him by Hawk. Off to Earthquake who carries Hawk to the heel corner. IRS and Boss Man come in again and it’s a briefcase shot to Boss Man’s head for the elimination.

It’s Typhoon vs. Animal now and the Disasters double team Animal in the corner. Earthquake suplexes him down as Monsoon talks about Bobo Brazil. IRS hits a top rope right hand for two and Typhoon puts on a bearhug. Animal escapes and hits a clothesline before tagging in Hawk. IRS misses a briefcase shot to the head and hits Typhoon by mistake, giving Hawk the easy pin.

Earthquake wants to fight IRS now but walks off with Typhoon instead, making it the LOD vs. IRS. Hawk powerslams IRS down but a charge goes shoulder first into the post. Hawk gets sent face first into the steps as we continue to fill time by having IRS look like he has a chance. We hit the chinlock as the announcers talk about Thanksgiving dinner. A not very hot tag brings in Animal who cleans whatever is left in the house. IRS tries to walk out but runs into Boss Man in the aisle. Back in and Hawk hits a top rope clothesline for the win.

Rating: D+. We go from Hogan vs. Andre II to this in five years? That should give you a good idea as to what you’ve got going on with this show. The match was nothing and there was no reason to get excited about it, because the whole reason the match was happening had been postponed to Tuesday. In Texas.

Hogan won’t talk to the cameras about what happened.

Gene is in the bowels of the building with Bearer and Undertaker. Hogan will rest in peace. In Texas. They look in a casket to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. Let’s take a look at what we had on this show: a really good opener, a horrible second match, a bad yet historic third match, a bad fourth match, and a worthless fifth match. This is all interspersed with a bunch of commercials for Tuesday in Texas, which is possibly the biggest bait and switch in company history. This show made me mad because it’s a big flip off to the fans, and that’s not acceptable. Watch the opener and that’s about it.

Ratings Comparison

Team Flair vs. Team Piper

Original: A-

Redo: B

Team Slaughter vs. Team Mustafa

Original: F

Redo: F

Undertaker vs. Hulk Hogan

Original: C-

Redo: D

Team Nasty Boys vs. Team Rockers

Original: D

Redo: D

Legion of Doom/Big Boss Man vs. IRS/Natural Disasters

Original: D

Redo: D+

Overall Rating:

Original: D+

Redo: D-

A little worse this time, but the same problems still plague this show. Screw you Vince.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/10/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-1991-here-lies-hogan/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 1991 (Original): The Dead Man Walks

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 1991
Date: November 27, 1991
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 17,500
Commenators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

Ok, so due to Microsoft and their annoying automatic updates that no one actually knows what they’re good for, I lost 91-94, so this is the second time I’ve reviewed these four shows. Therefore if I seem a bit ticked off, that’s why. Anyway, the main thing here is simple: Vince has more or less given up on the idea of having all Survivor Series matches and has given us a traditional main event match, in this case, Taker challenging Hogan for the world title.

Also, Flair has jumped ship to the WWF in a huge botch on WCW’s part. Finally, the hottest feud in the world right now is Jake Roberts vs. Randy Savage, but I’ll get to why I’m ticked off about that in just a few minutes. Other than that, the show is pretty much what you would expect.

The roster is changing a bit though; with it being more like the early 90s look than what we had seen for years before. It was a pretty bad show when I watched it two weeks ago, so maybe it’s somehow improved since then.

We get the logo and everything with a huge banner over it saying 5th Annual. Is it really something we need to know that badly? Within 30 seconds of the start of the show we’re hearing about the Roberts vs. Macho situation. So here’s the idea: Savage lost the career ending match at Mania and is officially retired. However, he’s trying to get reinstated since no one really stays retired (are you listening Ric Flair?).

Roberts had been supposed to feud with the Warrior for a huge program but Warrior was a jerk and got fired, which you can read about in my Summerslam 91 review. Anyway, they instead paired him with Savage for this. This past Sunday (this show is airing on Wednesday which was the tradition back in the day) Roberts got Savage into the ring and tied him up in the ropes before pulling out a cobra. Before I go on, does that sound like some latent sexual issues or is it just me?

Anyway, Savage get bit by the cobra and they can’t get it off of him. The crowd is so into this it’s unreal. Eventually they get him out of it and Savage tries to fight back but can’t stand up because of the “venom”. In one of the absolute funniest moments I can ever remember in wrestling, Vince is FREAKING over this and actually doing a great job on the mic which is a lot more than he usually does.

However, as Savage is being put on the stretcher, we cut to a kid in the audience crying and Vince absolutely loses it. He’s cracking up and since Piper ran to the ring to help Savage, there’s no one to bail him out here. It’s just great as he’s trying to stay serious but just can’t do it because he’s holding back laughter.

I guarantee that whoever did that cut was fired. I can’t imagine they weren’t. So anyway, after all that (they showed the entire segment which was about 4 minutes long), we go to Jack Tunney who says that this is his fault and he’s to blame for what Jake did.

Now we get to the big part: Savage will not be allowed to wrestle tonight, and Jake has been pulled from his match as well. HOWEVER, Savage is reinstated and will face Roberts at ANOTHER PPV called Tuesday in Texas, SIX FREAKING DAYS AFTER THIS SHOW. Remember, the incident that they’re referencing was three days prior to this. They’re changing the main event three days before the show so that they can hook in more PPV buys for ANOTHER show six days after it. That my friends is nonsense.

I’m sorry but that just doesn’t work. The fans are already paying 30 dollars for this show and they don’t get the real main event out of it? Hogwash. Instead Vince says for only 20 dollars more you can see the main event that you paid for here. I get that Vince was running low on money at this point, but there comes a point where you’re just screwing the fan too much. This is stupid on all levels. If you want to do this, give the people more than 72 hours notice.

How many people do you think might have missed Superstars and not known about this until after the show had started and their money had been paid? Again, that’s nonsense. I’m legit ticked off again over this, with the only thing that’s keeping me calm being Tunney’s licking of his lips in this promo. It’s just weird looking. He looks like he’s getting ready to eat an ice cream cone or something. This whole segment was just designed to tick  off fans.

But hey! In six days, you can pay us MORE money to see this match, so make sure you order the other show. Gorilla and Bobby plug the show even more before we start our first match, 6 minutes into the show. Ok make that 7.

Roddy Piper’s Team vs. Ric Flair’s Team

Piper: Bret Hart, Virgil, Davey Boy Smith
Flair: Ted DiBiase, Warlord, Mountie

The feuds actually match up here as Piper and Flair were feuding, DiBiase and Virgil had just finished feuding, Hart and the Mountie would clash over the IC belt in a few weeks and Smith and Warlord were arguing over who was stronger. Wow a match that actually works out well in that area. I don’t know what to say. Sherri is with DiBiase here.

Actually, all four heels have managers, with (going in order listed above) Mr. Perfect, Sherri, Harvey Whippleman and Jimmy Hart. They can’t stay at ringside though. Flair is out now with a censored belt. Ok so this deserves an in depth explanation as well I guess. Back in the 80s, wrestling was based on the territory system as you likely know. Most companies were part of the NWA but all had their own champions and talent (think of it like the NCAA with its conferences).

However, there was still an NWA world champion that went around the country defending his title everywhere. This you likely know or have at least heard of. Now like I said, there were all kinds of territories. One guy in the south started to buy a bunch of them and join them into a superterriory.

This man’s name was Jim Crockett who you’ve likely heard of. He turned it into what you now know as WCW, but it wasn’t known as that at the time. Anyway, he tried to go to war with Vince but just didn’t have the money to do it. He eventually sold to Ted Turner, who changed the name to World Championship Wrestling.

Turner slowly started to fade away from the NWA stuff as he and Crockett had realized the same thing: WCW was the NWA at this point. He owned all the talent and the NWA championship (the big gold belt was made by Crockett for Flair. Before that they had used a different one.) Now at the time, Flair was still the NWA champion, but was also the WCW champion.

This was represented by the same belt though, as more or less it was the same title but officially it wasn’t. It’s very complicated no matter how you look at it so if that doesn’t make sense to you, don’t be surprised. So Turner brought in a bunch of people that had no freaking clue how to run a wrestling company, with the main one being Jim Herd. Herd looked at Flair and thought that he was washed up and past his prime.

This was abdsurd as well since Flair was not only world champion but the top draw still. Herd thought the Nature Boy gimmick was stupid and wanted to change Flair into, and I’m not making this up, a bald gladiator. Yes, he wanted to drop one of the most famous gimmicks in history to make him a stupid character.

As Kevin Sullivan put it, “after we change Flair’s gimmick, let’s go change Babe Ruth’s number.” Flair, having a brain, told Herd that this wasn’t going to work. Herd, being the idiot that he was, decided he knew more wrestling than Flair and told him that Flair would do it or be fired.

Now this is where Flair had him. Since, like everyone that knew what they were talking about, Flair knew that he could walk straight into the WWF and be launched right to the top of the show, he didn’t back down. Herd fired him and Vince got a nice big present called Ric Flair just handed to him. Now let’s get to the interesting part. When he was fired, Flair was still WCW and NWA champion.

Yes, Herd was dumb enough to fire him BEFORE changing the title. See what kind of idiot he was? He was stripped of the WCW Title which was then put in a match between Luger and Barry Windham, which was booed out of the building with chants of WE WANT FLAIR! The winner didn’t matter, because no one was going to take them seriously as champion, and why should they have? They never beat Flair for the title so they were in essence fighting for the number one contender spot.

No one bought it and the title was hurt badly for the next year and a half since instead of watching fake champions, they turned the channel to USA to see how the real WCW champion did in the WWF. Now the REAL interesting part lies in the NWA title. Like I said, Flair held both titles which were represented by the same belt.

The NWA had a policy for its world champions: you win the title, you pay 25,000 dollars as a deposit on it. The deal was done to prevent people from showing up in other companies with the title. In other words, you rented it. Once you lost the belt you got the money back with interest on it.

Now that’s fine and good. Flair paid the deposit and all was well and good. However, once he was fired from WCW he was stripped of the belt and was told to return it to the NWA. Flair said he’d be glad to do it as soon as he was given his money back. Problem: the NWA didn’t have it. Flair says well then you don’t have a belt either. He took it to Vince and used it in a gimmick, calling himself the REAL world’s champion.

The NWA panicked since there was no way they could let this happen. They took Flair to court over it and were laughed out of the room since they had absolutely no case. They made a deal with Flair and weren’t living up to their end of it. Therefore, there was nothing they could do to keep Flair from using the title on WWF TV. It was his property so he could do whatever he wanted with it.

Eventually Flair went back to WCW and let them use the belt after they paid him what he was owed. The big gold belt became the WCW Title and the rest is history. WCW left the NWA in about 1993 and the NWA tried to revive itself with a tournament in Philadelphia. I think you know what happened there.

Anyway, the point of this was that during this time, the NWA got a temporary injunction against Flair to keep him from using the big gold belt but the angle kept going anyway with other belts being used in its place. Tonight it’s a tag title, which is blacked out but at times you can see the edges of it. How weird would that have been? Flair is just standing there holding up one of the tag titles. Oh yeah we’ve got a match to do too. Let’s get to it.

Hart’s pop is INSANE. They knew what they had here and that would be made apparent as next year at this time he would be world champion. We start off with DiBiase vs. Piper. That’s a very interesting match that I don’t think ever had a big time feud. They of course have a great match here as my amazement never ends as to how DiBiase never got a title run. They of course have a great mini-match here since they’re both awesome.

Sherri comes in for interference but it of course backfires since Piper was practically a main eventer and such things don’t bother him at all. Now we get Virgil, who for some reason gets a pop. This is even more reason for me to hate what they’re pulling tonight. The crowd is white hot, so instead of giving them a big match, let’s give it to people in a week. Yeah that’s very good work there guys. Way to support your fans.

The face team spends about three minutes just killing DiBiase with all three guys getting in a lot of work on him. Finally he gets out and we get Flair vs. Hart. Even back then we knew it was something special. Bret was so on at this time that it’s unbelievable. The Heenan cheering for Flair is just funny stuff. Now the faces take their turns beating up on Flair. About 5 minutes straight is just faces beating on DiBiase and Flair.

Despite that, this is very entertaining either way as both guys are big time heels so the beatings work well and the crowd is WAY into this. Piper comes in to beat up Flair some and it’s so loud you can barely hear much. He finally gets out and we have Warlord and Bulldog in a test of strength. Due to some expected heel cheating, Bulldog is in trouble now as the Mountie continues to crack me up with how completely over the top he is with his gimmick. It’s so ridiculously insane that it’s greatness.

We get a funny bit as we see Jimmy in the back PANICKING since he can’t be out there with the Mountie. Managers really are a lost art indeed today. They’re something that can really enhance a character yet for some reason they’re never used anymore. I don’t get that. Being a manager requires two things: being able to talk and being able to take a beating once in awhile. Seriously, is that something that sounds next to impossible or next to that difficult even? I don’t get it.

It’s just not that hard to me, at least in theory. Instead we get people like Santino and Abraham Washington. Why not make one of them a manager? Nope, instead everything has to be about comedy instead of enhancing a character. Yep, you have to love that.

Bret comes in so Mountie bails as fast as he can, giving us Bret vs. DiBiase again so I can’t complain. Smith comes in after about 8 seconds of this as Mountie is tagged in. It’s brawl time and note: Gorilla says that the legal men are Flair and Smith, which would be wrong. Anyway, Smith hits the powerslam on Mountie but Flair goes to the tope and hits a double axe handle shot to the back of Davey’s head.

He rolls him over and pins him as Gorilla is freaking out about how Flair wasn’t legal, despite him saying that he was not 20 seconds before this. I love the confusion that is Gorilla Monsoon a lot of the time. Piper immediately runs in to beat on Flair, despite him not being legal in the match but who cares about something stupid like legality? All four people beat on Piper for a bit as the fans are still way into this match. That’s a good sign that after about eleven minutes we’re still this into a match.

Piper puts the figure four on Flair to a HUGE pop. Virgil comes in to fight Mountie who is terrified of him. For some reason, no one wants to fight Virgil. Why not? The guy just wasn’t that big of a deal. All that mattered in his career was that he beat DiBiase one time. That’s all anyone ever actually cared about and it was indeed a cool moment. However, once that angle ended, which it had by this point since DiBiase got the belt back, he was just Virgil, a bald guy that threw decent punches.

There’s just nothing really to market there and it turned into nothing at all because there was just nothing they could do with him at this point. It’s the quintessential difference between having a gimmick and being a character. A gimmick is something like Repo Man. He was something that you could throw in with anyone at all and the gimmick would work fine. John Cena is a character. He’s just a man that goes out there and wrestles really well.

There’s more depth to him, but it’s harder to put him with someone because you have to build something up with him. Also, it takes away from the creativity of the storylines with him as you can’t really do much other than have it be about respect or a challenge or so and so wants the title etc. It leads to some very boring and generic storylines.

There’s no right or wrong answer about what’s better, but for someone like Virgil with limited skills and charisma, a gimmick would have worked much better for him. The same holds true for Cena as a gimmick would be awful for him. It’s usually the bigger a star you are, the less you need a gimmick. He and Flair go at it for a bit and as usual, Flair loses at first only to make his comeback and look dominant.

A lot of people say that Flair’s style is boring. I disagree. Yes, he does the same stuff a lot of the time, but how many truly bad Flair matches can you remember, and I’m not talking about when he was all old and likely not legally considered alive. I’m talking about when he was in shape and not old. Think about it: the guy had good matches because he had a formula.

Flair gets beaten on, he makes a small comeback, gets beaten on again, makes a big comeback, goes for the leg, gets the figure four, the face gets to the ropes, and then the finish. The matches worked though and that’s all that mattered. Then you would get idiots like Dusty Rhodes who of course just couldn’t do things the intelligent way and had to have his style of match with Flair, which made them a lot worse.

Those aren’t Flair’s fault. Dusty is to be blamed for those since he’s the one that screwed them up by having to wrestle his horrible style. Dang I’m going on a lot of tangents here. Anyway, Hart does the nice thing and throws Virgil back in to get beaten on some more.

Full nelson goes on but Bret breaks it up to let Piper pin Warlord in the exact same thing that got rid of Bulldog. Well played Hitman. Everybody beats on DiBiase a bit more, with even Virgil getting in some solid stuff. Flair however just ends that as he becomes my hero. Heenan is singing Flair’s praises which never gets old as he even threatens to have Gorilla thrown out. The response of silence is just funny.

Virgil gets beaten on for about three minutes to set up the ending that I hate. He gets DiBiase down and heads for the corner. Both Piper and Flair come in for a big fight, but then the other four come in. Flair gets knocked to the floor and we have a big brawl. Then to end the match, 5 people are disqualified except for Flair because he was on the floor, making him the sole survivor. I get that they wanted to push Flair, but this match was so awesome up to this point that I wanted to see them go longer.

It’s not like they were short on time. Later on the tag team match gets twenty minutes. You could have given this another ten and it would have been fine, but then again, I’m no professional.

Rating: A-. This match was awesome. The crowd was way into it, the wrestlers were all on fire, the feuds made perfect sense, the pacing was good, and then the ending screwed all that up. Yeah here the main issue is the ending, which was just flat out bad. It put Flair over which was the point of the match, but I wish there was another way they could have done it. Either way, this was a very fun and entertaining match. Now if only the rest of the show is this good, which I doubt.

Savage and Liz say to buy Tuesday In Texas. Screw you both. Actually no, just screw Vince and his greed.

Team Slaughter vs. Team Mustafa

Slaughter, Duggan, Texas Tornado, Tito Santana
Colonel Mustafa, Berzerker, Skinner, Hercules

Oh this is going to be bad. It’s like the 80s died and this is the corpse. Basically, it’s America vs. not America here, with Mustafa being more commonly known as Iron Sheik. He had managed Slaughter during his heel run but now Slaughter is red white and blue again so all is fine and dandy. Duggan makes sense to be there, Tornado and Santana are midcard faces. Berzerker, Skinner and Hercules…eh they’re just there to fill in the dates their contracts say they have to work.

Yeah this is going to be pretty bad. Look at the face team. It’s a former world champion, a former NWA champion, a two time IC champion, and Duggan who was always in the upper midcard. They’re against a guy that used to be world champion but that’s not mentioned here and three career jobbers. Yeah this is going to go GREAT. I love how Slaughter can go so evil and then in just a few months he’s a beloved face again. Yeah it’s stupider than it sounds.

The most entertaining part about this match is Gorilla and Heenan arguing. You can tell they’re fairly bored out there and I can’t blame them at all. This match is just boring. There’s no point to it, there’s no reason to want to watch it, and there’s nothing of interest going on. You can tell this was just thrown together and that’s never a good thing. I don’t care about seeing these people fight because they’re just beating on each other with no particular rhyme or reason.

Heenan says some lines about Middle Eastern people that are borderline racist but not quite. Now we get to the best part of the match: the part where the bookers thought it was ok to have Sheik in there for over two minutes straight. Seriously, why? The guy can barely move and he’s going to carry the match? Yeah I think you’re getting why I hate this imbecile. They fill in the void by talking about the Taker vs. Hogan match which is fan better and more interesting.

Sheik gets pinned by a Slaughter clothesline that wasn’t anything special at all. Yeah, this might be the worst Survivor Series match of all time. It’s just flat out boring in all aspects. After about 5 minutes since Sheik got beaten, the other three heels are dispatched in less than two minutes total. Duggan dances around like this is a big deal. Apparently he was captain?

Rating: F. This was just awful. It wasn’t interesting, there was no story, the winners were never once in doubt, and it was just not any good. This was just completely pointless on all levels and was just there to fill in about 20 minutes counting the introductions. Egads what a horrible match.

The winning team walks down the hallway and says they can’t wait to see this match on video. Yeah that wasn’t pointless at all.

Jake Roberts says you should buy Tuesday in Texas. Somehow this takes five minutes to say.

We recap Hogan vs. Taker. They don’t mention how he got the title shot, but they make it obvious that Flair is going to be involved in this. On the Funeral Parlor, Taker’s segment, Flair confronted Hogan which led to Taker beating him down with the urn. Savage and Piper ran out to help him and couldn’t really do anything.

Savage hits Taker with the chair but Taker just knocks it away. That was awesome. Also, Taker rips the cross off the neck of Hogan, which is a direct homage to Andre 4 years prior to this. Taker was billed as undefeated here, despite having lost a bunch of matches to Warrior.

WWF Title: Undertaker vs. Hulk Hogan

So this is the first non Survivor Series match in the history of the show, which I think was what was needed. Since it’s the main event, of course it’s the shortest match on the show. We could have a problem here though as neither guy is going to sell crap here. Gorilla tries to convince us that they’re the same size. That’s just amusing. He goes on to say that Hogan has quickness and agility. I’m sorry but that’s just hilarious.

Hogan looks scared to death which is awesome. Bearer of course gets in his shots as Taker is in control. You have to remember that he’s only been around about a year at this point. This would be like Cena vs. Swagger in the main event of a major PPV for the title. Apparently it’s a big deal that Hogan can’t slam Taker despite him hitting Hogan as he goes up. Yeah that’s not a big deal at all. Taker gets clotheslined over the ropes and lands on his feet.

That’s always a cool looking spot and it makes it look like the move did nothing at all. The never ending debate about what’s in the urn continues. Was that ever answered? Taker’s tattoos interest me. Given his gimmick, what must that day in the tattoo place have been like?

Gorilla is of course freaking out over Bearer as Heenan says his monitor keeps kicking in and out. Monsoon says he’s going to start kicking Heenan in and out in a bit. Those two are just great together. There’s a Hogan lookalike at ringside who is leading cheers. It’s really quite amusing. Taker uses a smother on Hogan. That’s an interesting move as he just covers Hogan’s face with his hand.

That’s both good and bad as it looks a lot more effective than some moves do, while at the same time really being nothing at all. Heenan naturally can’t hear Monsoon, which is odd as he has that big headset on. Ok the smother doesn’t need to go on for two minutes. Taker does the eye roll that never gets old. Hogan makes his comeback but after more interference he takes a tombstone. Naturally he pops right up and starts his finishing sequence.

Bearer’s reaction to Hogan popping up is just great. As he goes for the legdrop, Flair comes out and touches his belt. Hogan, feeling a sense of animalistic pride, goes out and stops him. He puts Taker down again and goes for the leg but Bearer grabs him.

As he’s got the referee, Flair puts in a chair and Taker tombstones him on it for the title to more or less kill Hulkamania. Taker’s slow walk to the back with the belt is nothing short of greatness. Also, if Hogan isn’t legit hurt here, he needs an acting award. He looks completely gone.

Rating: C-. Again, this is a match where the historical aspect far outweighs the wrestling that you saw on display. Hogan losing at this point was a big deal, but he was getting very little reaction in this match. His time had simply gone by this point and it wasn’t working anymore.

That’s all fine and good, so Vince decided to take a BIG gamble and have him lose here. There would be a rematch in 6 days, but Hogan would only hold the title for a few days before it was declared vacant with the winner of the Rumble getting it. Hogan wouldn’t hold it again for over a year.

All the faces say they’re going to win.

All the heels say they’re going to win.

Tunney announces the rematch with Hogan and Taker for next Tuesday. Yep, it’s only 20 dollars and you get two main events, which you were supposed to get tonight, but screw that idea.

Nasty Boys/Beverly Brothers vs. Bushwackers/Rockers

The Rockers are on the verge of splitting up at this point with the Barber Shop happening in just under two months. As for the other three teams, they’re just there. Yes, this is the match that gets over 20 minutes and is the longest of the night. What in the world was Vince on tonight? This makes tonight even more of a slap in the face of the fans as we get 23 minutes of this and no Savage/Roberts.

Yeah that’s just great Vince, thanks for screwing over every person that pair their money to see this match. The Rockers are just ungodly over here, so of course they were being split up. We start off with Butch and Knobbs. Gorilla says no one knows more about surviving than the Bushwackers. Um, what? They do their comedy act as I can’t believe they still had jobs at this point. Somehow they would last until 1994.

Yep, no one cares about this match at all, but since the theme of the night seems to be how can we screw the audience over even more than we have earlier on in the night, it of course goes on and on and on. Luke, who once licked my at a house show, is gone fairly early due to a Brian Knobbs flying clothesline. Yep, that’s the kind of match that this is going to be: the kind where a flying clothesline that more or less sucked can get an elimination.

Can’t you tell how excited I am to be reviewing this match AGAIN? Oh I’m in heaven here people! Anyway, Marty comes in then and is looking either confused or stoned out of his mind. It’s likely both. Heenan, being as bored as ever, starts an argument with himself.

Heenan goes on to say that had Hogan not gone after Flair he would have won, which is likely correct. After more bad offense from both teams, Butch is put out following a weird double team move. It was supposed to start with a backdrop and end with a facebuster, but instead it looked like a bad botch. It was kind of like a 3D but nowhere near as cool looking or effective.

I think the Beverlies were supposed to be rich guys but I’m not sure. We’re down to Rockers vs. all four. Shawn starts getting his head handed to him as I’m sure Becca would love to steal it but that’s a different story. After getting beaten on forever, Shawn hooks a quick backslide and pins Beau. So now it’s Marty’s turn to get beaten up on for a good while as still nothing happens. We’re nearly 20 minutes into this and Marty puts on an armbar.

Yeah and you wonder why Shawn was given the big push. Shawn gets the tag leading to all five guys being in there at once. During this, Marty slams Sags but his feet hit Shawn in the face to let him get rolled up for the pin. Shawn is MAD. He looks like he’s about to kill Marty but it doesn’t happen and Shawn goes to the back to leave it at three on one.

Jannetty fights as much as he can but even after some cool looking spots, he goes out to a bad small package. Seriously, it just looked awful. Marty’s shoulder was up and yet he got counted down anyway. It was just bad on all levels.

Rating: D. This was just BORING. Look at the opening match and then look at this one. The first one was a minute shorter yet I had FAR more to say about it. This was just boring and it’s a great example of how two matches can be completely different. The first one was interesting, sharp and fun. This was long, boring and sloppy. Granted it could be more about a lack of talent in this one but I digress.

This was just not good and there was absolutely NO need to give this nearly 25 minutes. You had a great match to open the show that would have been an A+ had it been given a few more minutes. The world title match could have used another 2-3 minutes. Yeah I know I say that a lot and in most cases there just isn’t enough time to go around. In this case, there should have been all kinds of time to go around but instead it got wasted here. That’s inexcusable.

With nothing else to say or do, it’s main event time.

Legion of Doom/Big Boss Man vs. IRS/Natural Disasters

Yep, this is the main event. Even at a house show this is a weak match, but here at the “Let’s screw the fans show”, it’s the main event. Apparently this was supposed to be Sid on the face team and Roberts on the heel team. Sid got hurt so they were going to put Savage in, but due to the move on Sunday, which means Vince’s greed, he got pulled and they took off Roberts too, since IRS is FAR ahead of Roberts on the company totem pole.

Anyway, IRS and Boss Man start, despite having no animosity at this point in time. LOD and the Disasters were feuding, but other than that, there’s little point to this. I really want this to end soon. Nope, apparently we’re in for the long match here as it’s generic offense all around to start. Yep, again, no one really cares about this match because we haven’t been given a reason to care.

The announcers clearly aren’t interested in the match at all as they bicker. Rule of thumb: the more bickering you hear between the announcers, the more bored they are. Finally after five minutes of people hitting each other and doing shoulder blocks, we get something interesting as Boss Man has IRS in trouble but he gets a metal briefcase to the head and is pinned. Unfortunately this messes up Gorilla’s rant about how Flair stole the title from Hogan.

Also, apparently there has to be something in the briefcase because it being made of metal isn’t enough to knock out Boss Man. Yeah that makes sense. So now it’s LOD against the three of them. Since they’re the tag champions at the moment, I doubt they’ll lose. As I say this, we get the fourth plug for Tuesday in Texas. We get it already guys.

Vince wants our money and if we want to see the big matches we were promised we have to pay another 20 dollars next week. As if we haven’t had enough excitement in this match, it’s time for a BEARHUG. Gorilla: I think he’s wasting time with this hold. I would agree if the last word was match. IRS goes for the briefcase again but it misses and hits Typhoon in the head and eliminates him. Quake is TICKED.

He’s mad enough that he leaves with Typhoon. So it’s IRS 1-2 with the tag team champions. What happens of course? It goes on for 6 minutes. My goodness give me a break. Finally the LOD wake up and hits a top rope clothesline to end this which Gorilla says was inevitable. See, even he knew this was how it was going to end. Hey let’s plug Texas again. Heenan says it’ll be better than tonight. It couldn’t be much worse.

Rating: D. Again, this was BORING. There was no point to this being a six man. If they wanted to just have the faces win to end the show, do the smart thing and just make this a tag team title match. A few things are accomplished by doing that. Number one, it makes the match at least seem important.

Sure the LOD would keep the belts, but at least it would have had a sense of meaning to it instead of just a random match like this. Second, it would have been far more logical than this. Anyway, this was just bad and boring, but the faces won and the fans went home happy, so that’s good I guess.

Gene is in the catacombs of the arena. Joe Louis Arena has catacombs? Cool? Anyway, Bearer says that Hulkamania died tonight and plugs Texas to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. And that’s being generous. The first match on this show was awesome. It goes downhill fast. I don’t know what the heck they were thinking on this show. Wait, yes I do. The fans will buy one PPV. That means they’ll but a second. Seriously, this was sickening to see from the WWF. There’s no call for pulling the big match three days before the show just to have a one on one match six days later. I’m sorry but that’s not right.

Also, it was a Survivor Series match tonight. How hard would it have been to have them in there but just have them do a double count out with Jake running away or a double DQ or something like that? You give the people what they paid to see, you tease them with the big match just a bit more, and THEN you put the big match on the card in six days. That’s fine with me, but don’t advertise this as being the big match between Randy and Jake and then not have it.

Let them have their quick thing here and then let them do the match Tuesday. That’s all well and good. Other than that, this historic moment with Taker winning his first title mixed with an awesome opening match isn’t enough to make this work anything though, so it’s not recommended at all. The first match is worth seeing though.

 

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