IMG Credit: WWE

Starrcade 2018
Date: November 25, 2018
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton

This is something that could range from interesting to head scratching. Last night, WWE held a big house show featuring stars from both shows under the name of Starrcade. The show ran about three and a half hours and tonight we’re seeing a one hour version with some special moments and matches selected. Let’s get to it.

Note that I was in the arena for the show so this will be my second time seeing it. You can check out a full set of results right here.

We open with Elias playing a little song. He knows it can’t get better than having him here but he’s willing to try with a special guest. That would be Ric Flair, who puts Elias over as a big deal. Elias thinks they need to sing a son off his album and asks people to silence their cell phones, but here are Nia Jax, Mickie James, Tamina and Alicia Fox to cut them off. Nia says they want to walk with him and Flair is rather pleased.

Flair calls them all beautiful and Elias sings some of Elias’ Words. Even Flair gets in a few lines and dances a bit until Nia screeches out a line, much to the fans’ annoyance. Fox starts dancing but Elias calms them down. Elias tells Nia to shut her mouth, but he’s got some friends to do it for him. This was HEAVILY edited as the full version ran nearly twenty minutes as opposed to the ten it got here.

Nia Jax/Tamina/Mickie James/Alicia Fox vs. Bayley/Sasha Banks/Ember Moon/Dana Brooke

Ember and Mickie start things off with both going for the arm until Ember hits the spinning middle rope crossbody for two. Brooke comes in for the handspring elbow and the cartwheel moonsault for a near fall of her own. It’s off to Bayley to a nice reaction, sending Mickie over to Tamina for some hiding. Tamina comes in properly and crushes Bayley in the corner before sending her to the apron. That earns Tamina a Stunner over the middle rope but Nia sneaks in to run Bayley over for two.

The rapid fire tags in the corner allow Fox to grab a chinlock before Jax does the same. Bayley sends Jax into her partners though and that’s enough for the hot tag to Banks. Everything breaks down and Moon hits the Eclipse on Tamina, followed by Brooke’s high crossbody to Mickie’s knees. Jax gets taken down and Bayley drops a top rope elbow to the back, leaving Fox to get caught in the Bank Statement for the tap at 6:53.

Rating: C-. Perfectly fine opener here that didn’t overstay its welcome and played off a fun opening segment. Banks and Bayley were very over with the live crowd and anything that involved Jax taking a beating was getting a strong reaction. Now if only Bayley and Banks were allowed to do anything interesting, or even different, from week to week.

Samoa Joe says the definition of insanity is trying the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Some might say Joe has been insane, but others might think AJ has been because AJ has taken beating after beating. The real definition of insanity is walking into a cage with Joe and expecting to walk out at all.

Here’s Miz for MizTV, starting off with a discussion of some great Starrcade matches from years gone by. One such match was for the US Title, which will be on the line tonight. That includes Rey Mysterio, who comes out in a neck brace thanks to Randy Orton on Smackdown and Shinsuke Nakamura, who looks weird in all blue. Miz asks Rey what it means for Rey to be here and we hear some Starrcade legends name dropping.

Rey wants to take a piece of history with him, like the US Title. Nakamura doesn’t quite get the idea of Starrcade but eventually clarifies that he doesn’t care about the show or Rey. He loved watching Orton go evil on Rey and Miz agrees, so Rey tells him to shut up. Rey invites Nakamura to get evil right now but Miz runs his mouth again, this time for a distraction so Nakamura can jump Rey to start us off.

US Title: Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Rey Mysterio

Nakamura is defending and rips the neck brace off to start fast with the knees to the neck. Kinshasa is countered into a rollup for two but Nakamura blasts him down again. Rey is put on the corner for the running knee to the ribs but kicks Nakamura down. That sets up a missed dive which takes out Miz instead and I think you know where this is going. The springboard seated senton drops Nakamura, only to have Miz come in for the DQ at 2:11.

Post match the beatdown is on until Rusev makes the save. Lana is out with him and wants a tag match right now.

Rusev/Rey Mysterio vs. Shinsuke Nakamura/The Miz

The villains tease leaving to start but get thrown back in so we can start properly. Nakamura breaks up an early 619 to Miz and cranks on a cravate to Rey’s bad neck. Rey gets sent outside for some cheap shots from Miz and it’s right back to the neck cranking. A kick to the face finally gets Rey out of trouble and an enziguri is enough for the hot tag to Rusev.

Everything breaks down in a hurry and there’s the Machka Kick for two on Miz with Nakamura making the save. Another distraction lets Miz hit the Skull Crushing Finale for two but Rey is right back up with a double 619. The jumping superkick is enough to put Miz away at 6:05.

Rating: C. All it was missing was Alfred Hayes and Sean Mooney calling it a Coliseum Video exclusive. This was a rather random tag match that worked just fine, even though it didn’t get a ton of time. There’s nothing wrong with that of course and the wrestling worked perfectly fine for what it was. I don’t need to see either of them team together again, but at least it was fun.

Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles

In a cage. Joe goes right at him to start and drives AJ into the corner but some kicks to the leg have Joe in trouble. AJ starts driving him into the corner as well, this time for some shoulders to the ribs. Back up and Joe faceplants him before starting the whips into the cage, which you had to know were coming. A running forearm drives AJ into the cage and a back elbow gets two.

It’s too early for Joe to leave so Joe slams him out of the corner instead. The corner enziguri rocks AJ again for two but Joe misses a charge into the cage to give AJ a shot. AJ’s moonsault out of the corner into the reverse DDT gets two, even with Joe’s foot on the ropes because that doesn’t matter in a cage match. Well not in this one at least as that rule changes depending on how the referee is feeling at the time.

Joe ducks the Phenomenal Forearm and plants AJ again for a double knockdown. It’s time to fight next to the door but Joe misses another charge and gets caught with a tornado DDT. That’s good for two and AJ is sent face first into the cage again, setting up the backsplash for two. AJ charges into a Rock Bottom out of the corner but Joe takes too much time going for the door, allowing AJ to get in a chop block. The Calf Crusher makes Joe tap at 11:54.

Rating: B-. Good match here, but were you expecting anything else from these two? They could have a good match in their sleep so having them do it inside a cage isn’t exactly shocking. AJ winning makes complete sense as it’s not like this match means much in the first place and he’s won almost everything in the whole feud now anyway. As solid as these two are against each other, Joe really needs to move on to someone else, just to avoid losing any more.

Overall Rating: C+. Well it was fun while it lasted, but the whole thing ran three and a half hours as opposed to this one only getting fifty seven minutes. Given that it’s the WWE Network, you would think they could just air the full show, especially since they were already filming the thing anyway. What we got was good, but there was a lot of other rather entertaining stuff that was left out for reasons I still don’t quite get. Anyway, fun little show, but nothing worth going out of your way to see.

Results

Bayley/Sasha Banks/Dana Brooke/Ember Moon b. Tamina/Nia Jax/Alicia Fox/Mickie James – Bank Statement to Fox

Rey Mysterio b. Shinsuke Nakamura via DQ when Miz interfered

Rusev/Rey Mysterio b. Shinsuke Nakamura/The Miz – Jumping superkick to Miz

AJ Styles b. Samoa Joe – Calf Crusher

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Sure why not. Last year, WWE brought back Starrcade in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, marking the first edition of the show in about seventeen years. Now it seems to be a tradition over Thanksgiving weekend (the show’s original time, at least in general) and I took in this year’s edition in the US Bank Arena in Cincinnati, Ohio. The show ran over three and a half hours, including a fifteen minute intermission.

Before the show, they aired an ad for the Wednesday night lineup, including the Mae Young Classic. The show that ended a month ago.

The crowd was hot all night and attendance was strong, with some sections blocked off. I didn’t see a hard camera so I’m not sure how this was shot, though there were regular cameramen around all night.

The show opened with a tribute video to Dusty Rhodes, who created the idea for Starrcade. This was well received and you could tell the fans were slightly older here, with a lot of Ric Flair and Dusty fans all night long.

After a Welcome to Starrcade (not THIS IS STARRCADE but close enough) from hometown boy Greg Hamilton, we opened with Elias playing a little guitar and bringing out Ric Flair to a huge ovation. Flair was in fine form tonight, hitting on various women and saying that Elias would be at the Hyatt hotel tonight waiting for them. Flair wanted to walk with Elias and said Elias could have any woman he wanted….except Charlotte of course. They started to sing one of the songs off of Elias’ album but were interrupted by Mickie James, Tamina, Alicia Fox and Nia Jax (who uh, wasn’t popular). After Flair hit on Mickie, this happened:

After the song was over, Elias said that Nia’s singing was almost as painful as her hitting Becky in the face. That didn’t sit well but we had some more visitors to set up a match.

Bayley/Sasha Banks/Dana Brooke/Ember Moon b. Nia Jax/Tamina/Mickie James/Alicia Fox – Bank Statement to Fox (6:50, C).

This was a really good choice for an opener with the fans going coconuts for Bayley and Banks while booing Jax out of the building anytime she was even looked at. With Bayley in trouble, Jax came in and loaded up the right hand before smiling and putting on a chinlock. I’m not wild on her getting such a push after all of her errors, but she knows how to milk things. Brooke managed to botch two moves in about thirty seconds of ring time, including a slam (she nearly dropped whoever she was picking up) and trying a high crossbody that hit James in the legs. Banks got the hot tag and everything broke down with Banks making Fox tap.

Drew McIntyre b. Finn Balor – Claymore (7:06, C+).

The hot crowd continued here with the fans being very pleased by Balor. Dolph Ziggler was out with McIntyre in street clothes and interfered a few times, suggesting that his foot injury isn’t going to keep him out of action for that long. Balor fought back and hit his usual stuff but a Ziggler distraction let McIntyre avoid the Coup de Grace and hit the Claymore for the pin.

B Team b. Revival – Sunset flip to Dawson (5:32, D).

There’s not much to say here as Axel did his dancing and annoyed the Revival, who said they were here to wrestler and not make people laugh. The B Team’s entrance was over, which isn’t a surprise given how catchy it is. This really could have been cut and I’m still not sure how to handle the B Team being former Tag Team Champions and the Revival never winning the belts.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: The Bar(c) b. New Day – Brogue Kick to Big E. (8:37, C).

This was another fun one as the crowd was WAY into New Day’s antics. Before the match, Kofi LAUNCHED some pancakes into the crowd but had some left to throw at the Bar. They actually threw them back at New Day in a fun segment. The cool spot of the match saw Big E. get kicked in the face and nearly fall down but wave his arms to keep his balance and then clapping while in the Trish Stratus Matrix pose. It was really impressive and another example of what an athletic freak he is.

There was a funny spot in the middle where the spike White Noise got two and Sheamus yelled at the referee in the corner. The referee yelled right back at him and Sheamus backed off in a hurry, even cowering in the corner. Cesaro got in on it too and almost got yelled off the apron. Earl Hebner used to do that with HHH but I haven’t seen it in years. It’s still very funny though. Anyway Kofi got beaten down but made the hot tag and hit a big dive (with trombone accompaniment) but Big E. walked into the Brogue for the pin. Fun match.

Bray Wyatt b. Baron Corbin – Rollup (7:08, C-)

Corbin came out gloating over injuring Braun Strowman on Raw and issued an open challenge. This was Bray’s first match since September 15 and the time away seems to have done him some good. He was a full on face here, even slapping hands on his way to the ring. There was definitely an extra energy to him and it showed a lot. Wyatt didn’t hit Sister Abigail, but did almost every other signature spot. Corbin tried the slide under the ropes clothesline once too often and got rolled up for the pin.

Post match, Corbin said that didn’t count because of various reasons so they restarted it as a No DQ match. This brought out Ziggler and McIntyre to beat Wyatt down but Balor and Elias ran in for the save. The good guys eventually took over and Sister Abigail finished Corbin at 4:15. Call the whole thing a C, with Wyatt’s return being a very nice surprise.

Intermission.

Charlotte b. Asuka – Rollup (10:08 B).

Easily the match of the night so far, though the fans weren’t sure what to make of Charlotte. She slapped hands on the way to the ring but then bragged about injuring Ronda Rousey, which didn’t sit well with the crowd at all. But hey, I guess the whole crowd is antiquated and stupid for not understanding WWE’s brilliant moves. Asuka’s offense still looked crisp but her aura is long gone and she’s just one of the women on the roster now. Charlotte hit a hard spear for two but had to keep rolling out of arm holds, including three Asuka Locks. One more rollup gave her the pin and they posed together after.

MizTV with Rey Mysterio, in a neck brace, and Shinsuke Nakamura. Rey namedropped some Starrcade legends, including Eddie Guerrero to a very positive reaction. Nakamura was pleased with what he saw Randy Orton do to Rey on Tuesday and wanted in on it. The fight was on in a hurry.

US Title: Rey Mysterio b. Shinsuke Nakamura(c) via DQ when Miz interfered (2:11)

This was just a quick one with Rey doing what he could but taking Miz out by mistake. Rey did get a good near fall on a cradle to counter Kinshasa. You could see the finish from the Miz landing, but I don’t think you saw what was coming next.

Rusev/Rey Mysterio b. The Miz/Shinsuke Nakamura – Jumping superkick to Miz (6:20, C-).

What in the name of Coliseum Video exclusives is this? The double beatdown was on after the previous match but Rusev ran out and Lana challenged the villains for the tag match. Amazingly enough, Lana is really, really good in the cheerleader role. This was quite the mess but the whole visual of these oddball teams worked well enough. Not bad or anything, and Rey hitting a double 619 made up for a lot of it.

Brief pause to set up the cage, with highlights of Flair vs. Sting from Starrcade 1989 playing to fill in time.

AJ Styles b. Samoa Joe – Calf Crusher (12:35, B-).

Picture every match these two have had and put it in a cage. That’s about what they did here and while it wasn’t great, it’s virtually impossible for these two to screw something up. AJ worked the leg and Joe sent him into the cage a bunch but since AJ couldn’t springboard, he settled for the submission win. Of note, Joe grabbed for the rope and the referee told AJ to break before realizing that wasn’t the case and letting the hold continue. That’s good, as the fans were yelling at him over the flaw in logic.

Intercontinental Title: Seth Rollins(c) b. Dean Ambrose – Rollins escaped the cage (18:53, B).

Both got great reactions but the hometown Ambrose’s was a little bit better, despite him playing a full on heel and sneering at the crowd. They beat each other up rather well with the only weapon being a kendo stick brought in before the match started. There was a long slugout which got the fans even more into the match and some good near escapes. That being said, there were multiple instances of both guys doing slow climbs when there was nothing stopping them from going through the door, including when Dean had him tied up in the Tree of Woe. They eventually fought on top but Ambrose came down and went for the door, which Rollins kicked into his head to escape and retain.

Overall, it was a very fun show that was a combination tribute to Flair and Rhodes and a really strong house show. Other than the B Team vs. Revival, this all felt important and big and I was half expecting a title change with Mysterio vs. Nakamura. It was a cool moment and the Starrcade graphic was very nice to see again. I’m not sure why they aren’t airing the full thing on the Network, but the one hour version should be fun.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 1992
Date: November 25, 1992
Location: Richfield Coliseum, Richfield, Ohio
Attendance: 17,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

This really is a different era in the WWF as we’re moving more towards a child friendly product with more over the top and at times cartoonish characters. It’s not the most interesting all the time, but with the way business was going at the time, it was clear that something had to change. Luckily that gives us a twenty six minute Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels main event. Let’s get to it.

Slick is behind a pulpit in the interview area to start and talks about how great this show was. He goes into preacher mode and talks about spreading joy and peace. I have no idea what this has to do with wrestling and I don’t think he does either.

Vince and Bobby run down the card. There are multiple gimmick matches tonight.

Headshrinkers vs. High Energy

High Energy is Owen Hart and Koko B. Ware in really ugly pants. The Headshrinkers (Samu and Fatu, more famous as Rikishi) don’t get an entrance. Samu and Owen start things off with Owen being thrown around pretty easily. Things speed up a bit and Owen avoids a big clothesline and hits a cross body for two. The fans are getting fired up.

Off to Koko who makes Samu miss a right hand which hits Fatu. Koko stomps on Samu’s bare feet but he tries to ram the Headshrinkers’ heads together but due to racial stereotypes, there’s no effect whatsoever. Afa, the Headshrinker’s manager, CRACKS Koko in the back with his staff and Koko is in trouble immediately. Owen is draw into the ring by some Samoan bragging, only causing Koko to get beaten down even more.

Vince tries to talk about the main events and Heenan says stick to the subject. That’s a new one. Samu hooks a nerve hold on Koko but he’s too dumb to feel pain so it’s a clothesline instead and Ware is still in trouble. A chop gets two and Samu chokes a bit. Samu misses a corner splash and there’s the hot tag to Owen. Owen dropkicks both guys down and hits a top rope cross body on Samu for two. A spinwheel kick takes Fatu down, only to get caught in a powerslam. Fatu hits a GREAT looking top rope splash to crush Owen and get the easy pin.

Rating: C+. I liked this match a lot more than I should have but I love the Headshrinkers. That top rope splash looked great and Owen sold it like the master that he was. Other than that this was a very basic match with power vs. speed and that’s the right choice for an opener. Good stuff here and I liked it a lot.

Boss Man is getting ready in the back. He says Nailz is a bad man and that he’s committed a lot of crimes and has to be punished for them.

Sean Mooney issues us a warning about how violent the upcoming match is going to be. I don’t think that’s going to be necessary. Nailz comes in and says he’s been waiting for this for a long time and now he’s out of prison. The story was that Nailz was an allegedly innocent convict that was abused by Boss Man in prison and now he’s here for revenge. It’s corny but it’s as good as anything else.

Boss Man (in his second promo in about two and a half minutes) says he’ll take out Nailz tonight. He sees Nailz in the ring and runs out to the arena.

Big Boss Man vs. Nailz

This is a nightstick on a pole match, which means you can get it down and use the stick on the other guy. Is it a DQ if the person that doesn’t pull it down uses it? That’s how the rules sound at least. Nailz tries to get to the stick but Boss Man runs out for the save. Nailz isn’t a wrestler so him using nothing but chokes and punches makes perfect sense. He chokes Boss Man down but still can’t get the stick.

A right hand puts Nailz down and Boss Man gets his hand on the stick but he gets slammed down off the top. Nailz works on Boss Man’s back a bit and chokes away some more but Boss Man shoulders him down. A splash misses and Nailz goes for the corner again, only to get crotched as this is already getting slow. A double clothesline puts both guys down and Boss Man quickly gets to the corner to get the stick. Nailz barely sells a stick shot to the face but Boss Man no sells one to the ribs and hits the Boss Man Slam for the pin.

Rating: D. This was terrible with the no selling looking awful. I mean, it’s a nightstick to the head. There are only so many ways you can get hit with that and be up twenty seconds later. Nailz never did anything other than this although he was scheduled to feud with Undertaker. Boss Man would be gone after the Royal Rumble and wouldn’t be back for years.

Nailz chokes Mooney and says that was injustice.

Tatanka, a Native American, is chanting to get ready for his match with Martel, which is over some stolen feathers. It was a different time.

Flair and Ramon are with Gene. This is a pairing that came out of nowhere but they’re in one of the main events tonight. Ultimate Warrior was supposed to team up with Savage to face these guys but Warrior went nuts and bailed on the company again, leaving Savage without a partner.

Savage was on Prime Time Wrestling (the forerunner to Raw, even though they’re very different shows) and offered the spot on his team to Flair’s manager Mr. Perfect. Heenan, Flair’s other manager, immediately said no and Perfect snapped on him and accepted the offer, causing Heenan to slap him. Bobby begs for Perfect to stay and gets water poured on him for being pathetic.

After the clip is over, Flair is all fired up and wants to know what Perfect is thinking. Perfect basked in Flair’s glory but it was only because Flair allowed it. Now Perfect has made a decision and stepped to the other side and it’s time to pay to the Nature Boy and Razor. Flair looked all kinds of fired up here and it was awesome.

Razor, still in his original persona of Al Pacino from Scarface (funny story about that: Vince is known for not seeing almost any big time movies. When Ramon was interviewing with Vince, McMahon asked him to come up with a character on the spot. Ramon went into a Tony Montana imitation from the movie Scarface without knowing Vince had never seen the move. Vince immediately thought Ramon was a genius and push him), makes generic threats. Flair was AWESOME here.

Tatanka vs. Rick Martel

Tatanka is undefeated at this point and remember this is over stolen feathers. They trade chops in the corner with Tatanka taking over via a backdrop. Martel bails to the floor and I have a feeling this is going to be a long one. Rick gets knocked to the floor again and the fans don’t seem to be that interested. Martel is incorrectly called a former Intercontinental Champion. Nice job Vince.

Back inside and Martel pounds away a bit before hitting a hot shot to take over. Off to a front facelock as the fans are distracted by a fight in the crowd. Tatanka suplexes out of the hold but gets put right back in it. The yet to be named Doink the Clown pops up in the aisle making balloon animals. It’s as random of a cameo as it sounds. Another suplex puts Martel down but Rick hits Tatanka in the throat to take him down. It’s back to the stupid facelock as Doink keeps making animals. Tatanka escapes and clotheslines him down before avoiding a charging Martel in the corner.

This is going nowhere at all. Tatanka works on the arm and gets two off a backslide. Back to the arm although it’s fairly late in the match to do so. Doink is tormenting fans now. Martel sends Tatanka over the top to the floor and things somehow get even more dull. Back in and Tatanka goes on the war path and hits a top rope chop. Because he’s an Indian you see. The Papoose To Go (Samoan Drop) finally pins Martel.

Rating: D. This was a long match that wasn’t bad. It was worse than bad: it was BORING. That’s the problem with Tatanka: he only had so far that he could go and they pushed that limit WAY farther than they should have. He wasn’t anything interesting and his in ring stuff wasn’t that great. Martel was kind of hanging around at this point and he would be gone soon.

Doink pops the animals he made. That’s not nice.

Perfect talks about being in Flair’s shadow, which he finds laughable. He says Flair has wanted to be like Mr. Perfect since Flair got here, but there can only be one Mr. Perfect. Perfect says he can beat Flair and Ramon with no trouble. Savage says he knows more about surviving than anyone else. Ten days ago he had no partner but now he has Mr. Perfect. He doesn’t trust Perfect, but he thinks they could be the perfect tag team. This did a very good job of hyping up the match in short order.

Razor Ramon/Ric Flair vs. Randy Savage/Mr. Perfect

Perfect comes out separately to give Heenan momentary hope that he bailed. He comes through the curtain and Heenan ERUPTS, going on a rant that lasts through Perfect and Savage’s very slow walks down the aisle. Perfect and Ramon start things off in an AWA reunion. This is one of Perfect’s first matches in over a year so he may be a bit rusty. Perfect takes Razor to the mat and slaps him in the back of the head, sending Flair into a fit.

Ramon takes him into the corner and gets slapped in the face, which brings in Flair for the big showdown we’ve been wanting for. Perfect beats him into the corner almost immediately and pounds away. We get a Flair Flip out of the corner and Flair runs right into Savage who gets a tag a second later. Savage slaps Flair in the face to tick him off even more. Then he does it AGAIN.

Ramon and Flair both come in and get punched in the face. A couple of clotheslines take Flair down until FINALLY Ramon gets a knee in the back of Savage to slow him down. Razor tries to go for the leg but Randy kicks him off both times. When all else fails, Ramon chokes away to keep Savage in the ring. Off to Flair for more stomping and it’s Ramon in again to work on Savage’s back.

We get Ramon’s signature abdominal stretch with help from his partner spot. Vince tries to imitate Monsoon by saying Ramon needs to hook the toe but it’s just not the same. Savage hip tosses out of it but gets stomped right back down. Flair throws him over the top and tot he floor where Ramon rams Savage into the steps. Back to Ramon for a half crab and Perfect goes for a walk up the aisle. Heenan is ESTATIC.

Never mind though as he turns around and comes back. Well it was a cool moment while it lasted. Randy is busted open and Ramon pounds away on the face even faster. Flair starts covering a lot faster as he’s getting frustrated. Razor comes in and drops an elbow for two and a chokeslam gets the same. With the heels completely in control, Flair goes up top. The man may be a master in the ring, but he NEVER LEARNS.

Savage superplexes him down and Ric is suddenly in trouble. There’s a tag to Ramon and one to Perfect as well. Perfect hits the Hennig neck snap and a knee lift to both guys. Everything breaks down and Flair hits Savage with a chair to make it two on one. Perfect gets knocked into the official but he flips out of the Razor’s Edge and hits the PerfectPlex on Ramon for a delayed two as Flair makes the save. The PerfectPlex to Flair gets the same result and we have two referees in there. One of them calls the match for a DQ, much to the annoyance of the crowd. Savage and Perfect win to calm things down a bit.

Rating: B-. This was a good match that was bordering on great until the lame ending. I wouldn’t see a problem with Flair getting pinned by the PerfectPlex here. They would have a great match on Raw that would send Flair packing soon enough, but for now this was a great return to the ring for Perfect who hadn’t wrestled in quite a while.

Post match Flair puts Hennig in the Figure Four and Razor gets a chair, but Savage makes a save and chases both guys off.

Flair and Ramon rant in the back.

Yokozuna vs. Virgil

Yokozuna is listed as being from the Polynesian Islands here. This is when Yokozuna is only 505lbs and he had padding in his outfit to make him look fatter. Yokozuna immediately shoves Virgil away and chops him down. Some dropkicks do some good for Virgil but Yokozuna superkicks him (and gets his foot higher than Virgil did on his dropkicks) to take over.

Virgil pounds away a bit but a Rock Bottom takes him down. Some more shots stagger Yokozuna but a sidewalk slam and a legdrop make things all better again. Yokozuna misses a charge and like an IDIOT, Virgil tries a rollup. The big man falls on him and it’s BANZAI (middle rope seated senton) for the pin.

Rating: C-. For a big time debut, this could have been better but it’s clear that no one is going to stop this guy for a long time. Yokozuna would get the rocket to the stars push soon, winning the Royal Rumble in two months and the World Title at Wrestlemania in another two months. Virgil was a jobber to the stars here and nothing more, which is all he should have been. Somehow he would keep a job until 1994.

Savage and Perfect brag a lot.

Nasty Boys/Natural Disasters vs. Beverly Brothers/Money Inc

The Natural Disasters are Earthquake and Typhoon, formerly known as Tugboat. Money Inc. (IRS and Ted DiBiase) has the Tag Team Titles and are about to fight the Nasty Boys. This is one of those “when one guy gets pinned, both team members are out” deals, so it’s a max of three falls to end this match. We start with Typhoon vs. Blake Beverly and it’s a strut off. Typhoon starts throwing Blake around and puts him in an over the shoulder backbreaker so he can hand him off to Earthquake for a bearhug.

Beau tries to cheat to help his brother but it only results in a double splash from both Disasters in the corner. Off to Knobbs as the fans aren’t interested in this match in the slightest. Knobbs runs Blake over with clotheslines and brings in Jerry who finally allows a tag to Beau. A pumphandle slam puts Beau down but he no sells it for some reason. Off to DiBiase who can’t suplex Sags, so Sags suplexes him.

Off to IRS who Jerry hiptosses down. The limited selling continues as IRS gets up and brings in Beau for a powerslam and it’s off to Beau again. Off to a chinlock from Blake as the Beverlies keep tagging in and out very quickly. Jerry tries a quick sleeper but they wind up slamming heads to put both guys down. There’s the tag to Earthquake and Blake is in trouble. Earthquake takes out all four of them and everything breaks down. For some reason Beau tries a crucifix on Typhoon and gets crushed for his efforts. The Earthquake from Earthquake eliminates the Beverlies and it’s 4-2.

DiBiase comes in to face Earthquake but gets beaten up by all four opponents in short order. Back to Earthquake who misses a splash in the corner and Money Inc double suplexes the fatter man down. IRS gets two off the suplex and picks him up to freak Bobby out again. Back to DiBiase as the fans are all over IRS. IRS chokes away on Earthquake some more and it’s back to DiBiase for some chops.

A middle rope double ax by Ted gets two so here’s IRS again. The champs do tag in and out quite well. Quake clotheslines IRS down and finally makes the hot tag to Typhoon. House is cleaned and a splash crushes IRS. DiBiase trips up Typhoon and IRS gets the easy pin to tie it up, but Jerry runs in and rolls up IRS for the fast pin to win.

Rating: C. Not bad here but the ending kind of sucked. What was the point in having the Nasty Boys beat Money Inc that fast when the majority of the match was about the Disasters vs. Money Inc? The Nasty Boys were basically there to fill in a spot instead of being the focus of the match for their team. Odd indeed but it was entertaining enough.

Virgil warns Bret Hart about Yokozuna. Of course Bret wasn’t in the same room.

We recap Kamala vs. Undertaker. Undertaker beat him at Summerslam so Kamala crushed him with a bunch of splashes to a very limited effect. This set up the Coffin Match tonight, which is a regular match but the winner gets to put the loser in a coffin.

Undertaker is building a special coffin.

Undertaker vs. Kamala

Kamala immediately runs from Undertaker and they head to the floor for more not fighting. Back in and Kamala pounds away with almost no effect. Undertaker hits the yet to be named Old School and Kamala is in trouble again. A clothesline sets up some choking by the Dead Man but Kamala chops him to the floor. This is really dull so far. Kamala rams Undertaker head first into the steps and hits him in the back before we head inside. A kick to the chest puts Undertaker down for all of a second. Kamala slams him a bunch of times and three splashes. The urn is knocked into the ring and Undertaker sits up, followed by an urn shot to the head for the pin.

Rating: F. Seriously, that’s it. That’s IT? This is one of the biggest matches on the show and this is all we get? Just a dull match with nothing more than a few shots to the back and a quick ending. This didn’t even make six minutes and Undertaker didn’t even break a sweat in crushing Kamala. Nothing to see here and it was completely worthless, much like Kamala.

Undertaker nails the coffin shut.

Shawn brags about winning the Intercontinental Title a few weeks ago and says he doesn’t need Sherri. Shawn says he beat Davey and Davey beat Bret so Shawn can beat Bret.

Kamala’s managers Harvey Wippleman and Kim Chee get Kamala out of the coffin and he’s catatonic. This would lead to the arrival of Giant Gonzalez.

Bret is ready for Shawn. Gene lists off all of the micarders Bret has defended the title against with the idea being that Bret will fight anyone.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn still has the original version of his music as sung by Sherri and this is champion vs. champion, but only one title is on the line. For the sake of clarity, only Bret will be referred to as champion. Feeling out process to start and they hit the mat with Shawn getting in way over his head. Shawn works on the arm and pulls Bret to the mat but Bret nips up. So that’s where Shawn got it from. Bret cranks on the arm and Shawn cranks on the hair. Things speed up and Shawn trips Bret up but it’s right back to the arm. This technical stuff isn’t working for Shawn so far.

Michaels gets to the arm but Bret easily sends him to the floor to escape. Hart takes over on the arm again and Shawn can’t get anything going in the first five minutes or so. A cross body gets two for Bret as does a sunset flip. It’s back to the arm and Shawn is getting frustrated. They hit the ropes and Shawn catches Bret in a hot shot to finally get in some offense. A thumb to the eye puts Bret back in trouble and he charges into the post to make it even worse.

Shawn DDTs the arm as the roles have completely reversed now, although it’s due to evil ways now instead of technical and good ones. See how good psychology can be when it’s done right? Bret’s chest to the buckle spot gets two for Shawn and it’s chinlock time. They fight over a top wristlock but Shawn uses the hair again to pull Bret back to the mat. Bret fights out of the chinlock but gets dropkicked right back down for two. Shawn is one step ahead of Bret in everything the champion is trying right now.

A backbreaker gets another two for Shawn and let’s hit that chinlock again. Shawn ducks his head and a swinging neckbreaker puts him down. It doesn’t last though as cheating by means of a shot to the throat stops Bret again. A front facelock goes on and Bret rams Shawn into the corner with some shoulders to counter. Shawn charges into a boot and a bulldog puts him down. Bret misses a middle rope elbow and both guys are down again.

Michaels connects with a jumping back elbow to the face for two and it’s back to the front facelock. After two arm drops for Bret, he pulls off the fastest small package you’ll see in a long time for two. A suplex by Hart puts both guys down but things start speeding up anyway. Shawn gets sling shotted into the corner and hits the post as is his custom. Bret launches him into the corner and kicks Shawn so hard that Shawn gets crotched on the top rope.

A BIG back body drop gets two on Shawn and Bret is surprised at the kickout. Russian legsweep gets two for the champ and a backbreaker sets up the middle rope elbow for the same. Bret superplexes Shawn down but he can’t cover immediately and it only gets two. There’s a sleeper from Hart and the referee gets bumped. That goes absolutely nowhere and he’s up a few seconds later.

Bret tries another sleeper but Shawn sends him to the floor in the exact same way that Bret sent Shawn to the floor earlier in a nice bit of storytelling. Bret gets posted and we head back inside for a whip to the corner for two. The problem here for Shawn is that he doesn’t have a big time finisher as his only big move was a lame suplex. Just as I type that, Shawn superkicks Bret down. It’s not a finisher yet though so he doesn’t even cover.

Bret blocks the tear drop suplex (Shawn’s finisher, basically a high angle belly to back suplex) but the second attempt connects for two. Bret uppercuts Shawn into the ropes but Hart misses a charge and crotches himself on the top. Shawn goes up to the middle rope but he jumps right into the Sharpshooter (in the EXACT same sequence that ended regulation of the Iron Man Match at Wrestlemania XII) for the submission to keep the title on Bret.

Rating: A. It’s Bret vs. Shawn with almost 27 minutes. Were you expecting anything but a scientific war? If you make the superkick a finisher instead of a regular move, there’s no way this isn’t even better. Great match here with both guys trading great psychology the whole way through. Really good main event and a great way to show that Hulk isn’t needed to fire up a crowd as they were all kinds of into this match.

Post match here’s…..Santa Claus? He puts a hat on Bret and it starts snowing in the arena.

Post ending of the show, Bret asks Santa for better competition. Ok then.

Overall Rating: B-. This isn’t a great show but if you have about two hours to kill and a good fast forward button on whatever device you’re using, there are far worse shows you could watch. The main event is great stuff and the tag match isn’t bad either, but it’s better if you know the backstory and watch the build. This was a good show and considering there was no Hogan or Warrior on it, it was a pretty bold yet necessary step for WWF at the time. Good stuff.

Ratings Comparison

Headshrinkers vs. High Energy

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Big Boss Man vs. Nailz

Original: D+

Redo: D

Tatanka vs. Rick Martel

Original: C-

Redo: D

Randy Savage/Mr. Perfect vs. Razor Ramon/Ric Flair

Original: B

Redo: B-

Yokozuna vs. Virgil

Original: C
Redo: C-

Nasty Boys/Natural Disasters vs. Money Inc./Beverly Brothers

Original: D

Redo: C

Undertaker vs. Kamala

Original: C+

Redo: F

Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels:

Original: A-

Redo: A

Overall Rating:

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Dang I must have really grown to hate Kamala since then. Overall it’s roughly the same though.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/11/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-1992-bret-vs-shawn-at-survivor-series/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Starrcade 1987
Date: November 26, 1987
Location: UIC Pavilion, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jim Ross

The main event here is a cage match between NWA World Champion Ronnie Garvin and Ric Flair.  Garvin won the title a few weeks back with the sole purpose of losing it to Flair here.  In a logic that I’ll never understand, everyone else said no except for Garvin because no one else wanted to be a lame duck World Champion.  Other than the Garvin vs. Flair title match, the other major match is the Road Warriors facing the Horsemen (Arn and Tully) for the tag titles in the Warriors’ hometown of Chicago. Let’s get to it.

We open with an intro sequence that looks like it’s out of a bad 1980s sitcom. It’s a bunch of headshots of the wrestlers with bad music in the background.

The arena looks huge but very smoky.

Sting/Jimmy Garvin/Michael Hayes vs. Eddie Gilbert/Larry Zbyszko/Rick Steiner

This is right after Jim Crockett acquired the UWF, so a lot of these guys are making their big time debuts. Gilbert was a big deal back there, as was Hayes. Sting didn’t mean anything at this point, but he would have his day very soon. He had recently left Gilbert’s stable in the UWF so they have a built in feud already. Steiner jumps Sting to start but misses a charge and falls to the floor. Sting dives out onto him as the lighting is really bad here. It looks like the lights haven’t been turned all the way on.

As they head back in, Sting hits a missile dropkick as everything breaks down. Sting’s team clears the ring until we get down to Hayes vs. Steiner. Michael pounds on the arm for a bit and it’s off to Garvin. Michael and Jimmy would wind up as a tag team in a few years but here’s they’re just randomly paired together. Off to Larry to fight Garvin and it’s time to stall already. Larry was legendary for stalling and it drove a lot of people crazy, myself included.

Back to Hayes who grabs Larry by the nose and pounds away. Michael struts and moon walks to get the crowd fired up as it’s off to Gilbert. Hayes avoids a right hand and struts some more before sending Eddie into the corner. Back to Sting as things speed up a bit, but at this point he’s not capable of carrying a match on his own. Sting grabs an armbar on Steiner and it’s off to Garvin for more basic offense on Rick.

Steiner takes him into the heel corner and it’s off to Larry for a spinning kick to Garvin’s ribs. A powerslam gets two for Rick and it’s off to Gilbert for an atomic drop. Gilbert stays on the back for a bit but misses an elbow drop. It’s not enough for the tag out though as Steiner comes in for the save. Off to a bearhug to further the punishment on Garvin’s back but Jimmy fights out. Larry saves another hot tag and puts on an abdominal stretch. Garvin finally hiptosses his way out of it and it’s off to Sting to pick up the pace.

Everything breaks down but Gilbert comes in with a cheap shot to the back to take Sting down. Eddie sends him out to the floor for a bit before throwing him back in for some triple teaming. It doesn’t seem to do much good as Sting counters a Zbyzsko suplex, only to be stopped by Steiner.

Sting avoids a charge from Larry and it’s off to Hayes with less than two minutes to go in the time limit. Everything breaks down and the good guys all pound away on a bad guy in a different corner. The DDT gets two for Hayes on Larry but he’s in the ropes. One minute to go as Steiner breaks up a sleeper on Larry. Steiner comes in legally for a bearhug of all things before turning it into a belly to belly suplex. Everything breaks down again and the time runs out with no winner.

Rating: C. This was probably the best opener the series has had yet and it’s very obvious that that’s not saying much. The main idea here was to introduce most of these people to the Jim Crockett audience and it only worked to a degree. Steiner actually came off looking the most polished here, but Hayes would have the immediate success. Sting would be several months away from his big break.

UWF Title: Steve Williams vs. Barry Windham

As mentioned, this is the final days of the title as it would be retired the next month. Williams is defending and is basically the Brock Lesnar of the 1980s: an All-American football player and a top level collegiate wrestler who looked and wrestled like a monster. If nothing else he has an awesome nickname of Dr. Death. Windham was considered the future of the company and potentially the business at this point, regularly tearing the house down with Flair everywhere they went. He’s also the Western States Heritage Champion, which might be the most worthless title in wrestling history.

We start with a crisscross before Williams throws Windham down and presses him over his head with ease. Considering Windham is 6’6, that’s rather impressive. Jim Ross LOVES Oklahoma so he’s a big time fanboy for Williams here. Windham tries to take it to the mat but can’t do anything with a wrestler the quality of Williams. Instead they take it to the floor and it’s a standoff. Back in and Williams easily suplexes out of a headlock, so Windham muscles him over with a gutwrench suplex of his own.

Williams puts on a headlock and Barry suplexes him down but this time the hold isn’t broken. It shifts into a chinlock but Barry shakes him off. They’re still in first gear here. They trade go behinds and Williams tries a leapfrog but Barry accidentally headbutts him very low. Barry stands around instead of going in for the kill and even stops the referee from counting Williams down.

Steve walks around holding his groin as the stalling continues. Windham finally takes him down with a headlock so Williams counters into a headscissors. That’s good for another standoff followed by a missed flying something from Barry, sending him over the top and onto the announce table. Back in and Williams grabs a quick rolling cradle to retain.

Rating: D. This was nothing and you can’t really blame the injury for it. They were looking terrible before the accidental headbutt and after that it somehow fell apart even more. I’m not sure what was going on here as these two are WAY too talented to have such a horrible match. To this day I’m confused by this match.

Rock N Roll Express vs. Midnight Express

This is another Skywalkers (scaffold) match which is an odd choice for these guys. These two teams redefined tag team wrestling with their incredible series of matches, so the company decides to put them in a match with no wrestling involved in it at all? The Midnights are the now Bobby Eaton and Stan Lane and they’re the US Tag Team Champions but this is non-title. They also have Cornette and Bubba with them.

Both teams are skeptical to go up but after over a minute and a half of waiting, everyone goes up top. Actually scratch that as Bubba pulls Morton down as he’s climbing and spikes him down onto the mat to give the Midnights a two on one advantage. Bubba tries to climb up as well but Morton gets up and steals Cornette’s tennis racket. A few shots to the back keeps Bubba down and Morton climbs up, still holding the racket. Eaton gets whacked a few times as well as the fighting really gets going.

Morton knocks Eaton around with the racket as Gibson pounds on Lane on the other end of the scaffold. Eaton busts out his trusty powder to blind Ricky and now Gibson is double teamed. Ricky gets the tennis racket back to stagger Bobby with as all four guys head back to the ends of the scaffold. Eaton drops the racket to the mat as Lane climbs under the scaffold.

Cornette throws the racket up to Eaton again so he can pound on Robert’s back. Morton heads under the scaffold to get at Stan, eventually kicking him down to the mat. Eaton and Gibson are up top still though until Ricky goes up too. The Rock N Roll finally knocks him down over the edge and down to the mat for the win. I know the ending sounds sudden but there really isn’t much else to it than that.

Rating: D+. Just like last year, what can you really expect from a match like this? They can’t do much without risking a very serious injury but you don’t want the fans to be bored out of their minds either. These guys had some of the best tag team matches ever when they were on the ground floor and I have no idea why they were given this gimmick of all things.

Post match Bubba goes up to fight Morton on the top, but, I kid you not, Morton points off in the distance to distract Bubba, allowing Morton to kick him in the groin and climb down. Ricky steals Bubba’s hat and coat for good measure.

NWA TV Title/UWF TV Title: Nikita Koloff vs. Terry Taylor

This is a unification match between the two Television Titles. Taylor has Eddie Gilbert with him as backup. Taylor grabs a headlock to start but is easily run over by a shoulder block. They head to the corner and amazingly enough we get a clean break. We go to another corner and Taylor tries a cheap shot, only to get punched in the face by Nikita. Taylor cranks on the arm so Nikita sticks his tongue out at him and puts on an armbar of his own.

Terry headbutts out of the hold but Nikita rams him shoulder first into the buckle. More right hands have no effect at all and Nikita cranks away on the wristlock into a hammerlock. Koloff muscles him down into a cover but Taylor makes the ropes and heads outside. Back in and Taylor talks some trash, earning himself a slap in the face. A backdrop gets two on Terry and its time for more stalling on the floor.

Nikita gets tired of waiting and pulls Taylor back in so he can put the hammerlock right back on. After a rope breaks saves Taylor, he pounds on Nikita in the corner but misses an elbow drop. Back to the armbar which has dominated this match so far. They get back up again and Taylor pounds away, only to be choked to the mat. The Russian Sickle misses though and Nikita charges into the buckle. They head outside with Taylor ramming Nikita’s shoulder into the post to take over.

The match slows down a lot as Taylor’s offense isn’t exactly suited to beat on someone like Koloff. He stays on the arm but can’t bring Nikita down into a sunset flip. Koloff blocks a suplex and takes the smaller guy down with a suplex of his own. Nikita has enough of the pounding and fights back with a bunch of right hands in the corner. Taylor comes out with an atomic drop to get two of his own and Koloff’s momentum is stopped cold.

A rollup gets two for Nikita as the fans are finally starting to get into the match. Terry loads up a piledriver but gets backdropped down and punched in the face. They head to the floor again but Gilbert hits Koloff in the knee to give Nikita control again. Off to a figure four on the Russian which gets a few near falls (the figure four can be used as a pin if the guy in the hold doesn’t raise his arms). Koloff finally gets the ropes and beats up Gilbert before hitting the Sickle on Taylor for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D+. This didn’t work for me. It was nearly twenty minutes long and way too much of that was spent in a hammerlock. I’ve never been a fan of Taylor but at least Koloff was there with the hard hitting stuff to make things somewhat interesting. This wasn’t terrible but it was too long and dull for what it was worth.

Tag Titles: Arn Anderson/Tully Blanchard vs. Road Warriors

The Warriors are challenging in their hometown of Chicago. Arn and Hawk start things off with Hawk taking him down via a top wristlock. Anderson is sent to the floor for a staredown with the Warriors’ manager Paul Ellering. Off to Tully who is almost immediately sent to the floor. Animal will have none of this stalling though and sends him right back inside. Hawk pounds away even more and hits a dropkick for a quick near fall.

Off to Animal who catches Blanchard coming in off the top in a powerslam for another two count. Arn comes back in and manages to avoid a charge in the corner, only to have his head taken off by a clothesline from Animal. Blanchard tries to come in but gets punched right in the jaw as well. Both Horsemen try to go after Hawk, only to get clotheslined down for a near fall on Blanchard. Total dominance by the Warriors so far.

Back to Animal for a bearhug plus a right hand from Hawk. Animal drops Tully down and Blanchard goes bailing to the corner. A dropkick to the ribs puts Blanchard down again so he tags in Anderson. Animal has to chase Arn on the floor before coming back inside to gorilla press him down. A press slam on Tully by Hawk is broken up by Arn hitting Hawk in the knee and the Horsemen FINALLY take over.

Tully adds in a chair shot to Hawk’s knee on the floor and a DDT gets two for Arn back in the ring. Blanchard’s figure four is countered into a small package so Tully pounds on the knee a bit more instead. Arn’s spinning toehold is broken up but here’s Tully again for the figure four. For some reason he tags in Anderson with Hawk still in the hold, and it’s Anderson who gets crotched to allow the hot tag to Animal. Everything breaks down and Tully accidentally knocks the referee to the floor before Hawk throws Anderson the floor. Back in and there’s the Doomsday Device on Arn for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C. This took awhile to get going but once the Road Warriors got rolling it got awesome in a hurry. They’re such a physical and dominant team that it’s almost impossible to not get fired up watching them. The leg work here by the Horsemen was much more interesting than say the arm work by Taylor, as they have the size and ability to make you believe the Warriors were in trouble.

Oh and scratch that title change because Anderson was thrown over the top, meaning the Warriors are disqualified and the Horsemen keep the belts. Say it with me: Dusty Finish. The fans boo this out of the building and with good reason. Who does this help? The Warriors look inept because they didn’t get the win, the Horsemen look like weak champions because they got pinned, and the fans are mad because at STARRCADE we can’t change the belts. Just a dumb idea all around.

US Title: Lex Luger vs. Dusty Rhodes

Luger is defending and if he wins, Dusty is suspended for ninety days. This is also inside of a cage. Luger had recently turned on Dusty to join the Horsemen, angering the fat man. Legend Johnny Weaver has the key at ringside. They circle each other as Dusty pretends to have a physique to match Luger, who would be a guest performer on some bodybuilding shows a few years after this. Both guys seem tentative to start things off here. Luger pounds away to start but misses his big jumping elbow. Dusty goes to an armbar and pounds an elbow into the shoulder. The armbar stays on for a LONG time, as per Dusty’s custom.

Luger finally pushes him into the corner….but it’s right back to the armbar. Rhodes pounds on the arm in the shoulder but takes a knee to the fat stomach to put him down. Dusty goes face first into the cage and we’ve got some blood on the challenger’s head. A clothesline gets two for Luger and the beating begins. The big jumping elbow gets two on Dusty but Luger takes too long, allowing Dusty to hit a HORRIBLE dropkick to put both guys down.

Lex can’t quite Rack (his finisher is the Human Torture Rack, meaning he puts Dusty over his shoulders and bends Dusty’s back around Luger’s own neck) Dusty so he pounds away instead. Now it’s off to an armbar on Dusty to take him down, despite Luger spending the entire match working on the back so far. They get back up and a pull of Dusty’s hair takes him right back down. Luger pounds away in the corner and Dusty just stands there without reacting at all.

Instead he flips Luger off and pounds away before hitting a bad DDT to put both guys down again. Off to a sleeper by Rhodes with him jumping on Luger’s back for good measure. JJ Dillon, Luger’s manager, blasts Weaver with a chair before throwing said chair into the cage. Lex escapes the hold and spends a LONG time bending over to pick up the chair, allowing Dusty to “DDT” him onto the chair for the pin and the title.

Rating: D. This sucked for the most part, as Dusty spent WAY too much time laying around on the mat before we had that really lame ending. There’s no reason for Dusty to win this title other than he was the booker and decided he wanted it, especially given how Luger was the future of the company at this point. Terrible match with a bad looking finish to top it off here.

NWA World Title: Ric Flair vs. Ron Garvin

This is also in a cage with Garvin defending, having won the world title in September and then basically disappearing for two months because no one wanted to job to a guy who was going to lose the title in a few months anyway. Flair gets a tremendous ovation while Garvin is pretty much booed out of the midwest. They chop it out to start with Flair losing as it’s early in the match. We get the Flair Flop followed by a backdrop by the champion into an armbar.

Garvin pounds away in the corner with ten punches and Flair is in trouble. With Flair down we get the Garvin Stomp, meaning Garvin stomps in a circle, hitting every limb and culminating with the head. Flair wins a slugout but hits Garvin low to take him down. An atomic drop has flair in even more trouble and a big knee drop gets two on the champion. It’s time to go after the leg and just a few seconds later it’s off to the Figure Four. Flair cheats by using the ropes but Garvin finally turns the hold over, leading to a break.

Back up and the champion blocks a shot into the cage. He blocks a second one and manages to send Flair into the cage a few times in a row. Flair has his forehead raked across the cage before tasting the steel again. Garvin bites Flair’s head to bust him open as they go to the top rope. Flair falls down before getting some hard chops in the corner from Garvin. After an elbow to the head, Ric goes up but gets slammed down as per his custom. Garvin puts on his own figure four but Flair makes the ropes pretty quickly.

Ron rams him into the cage and gets two off a top rope cross body and the same off a backslide. The fans are starting to get into this a bit. More chops have Flair in trouble and they go up top again. Ric gets crotched on the top rope and Garvin tries the top rope sunset flip which won him the title a few months ago. This time though Flair falls forward and grabs the ropes for two. Garvin pounds away in the corner but Flair shoves him off and crushes the referee. Ron hits his big right hand for two and sends Garvin into the cage for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. It’s not a bad match, but at the end of the day no one bought Garvin as having a change to hold the title here. Flair winning the title back isn’t really a big moment but the reaction from the fans was odd, given that Ric was the big face here. Garvin would never come close to this point again, which he likely shouldn’t have.

Overall Rating: D. This just didn’t work. It’s not a horrible show, but at the same time there’s nothing on here worth looking at whatsoever. The best match is probably the main event and that’s just ok at best. There’s just nothing to see here at all and the fans didn’t care either. The WWF dominated this night by having almost every cable provider air their far better show. Just not a good show, although it’s still better than 1984 by far.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 2006
Date: August 20, 2006
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 16,168
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, Joey Styles, John Bradshaw Layfield

This is an interesting show as a lot has changed since last year but WWE is still in the same kind of situation: the shows are coming and going and not a lot is changing. The shows aren’t bad, but there’s nothing that feels like required viewing. This year we have DX vs. the McMahons, Edge defending the Raw Title against Cena, Batista challenging King Booker for the Smackdown Title, Flair vs. Foley in an I Quit match, Hogan vs. Randy Orton and the first ECW Title match in WWE PPV history. The card is stacked but nothing on here feels must see. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about DX taking over the company with their sophomoric jokes. The other matches get some lip service as well.

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

Guerrero claimed that Rey was leeching off the Guerrero name, which he totally was but Guerrero is still playing the heel here. We get videos on Eddie’s relationships with both Rey and Chavo, conveniently ignoring Rey vs. Eddie from last year. Apparently Chavo is coming out of retirement for one night only. The brawl is on fast and JBL is WAY into it already. Chavo hits a quick uppercut and catches a standing Lionsault into a powerslam position, only to have Rey armdrag him out to the floor.

Mysterio misses a plancha to the floor and Chavo hits a big dive of his own to take over. Chavo shouts that it’s his blood instead of Rey’s as JBL calls this the biggest comeback since the resurrection. Rey charges into the corner but Chavo drops him face first onto the buckle to put him down again. Chavo does the Eddie dance, drawing the crowd into the Eddie chant. The masked dude is knocked to the floor and then face first into the buckle to keep him on defense.

Chavo puts him on the top rope and tries to powerbomb Rey to the floor but Rey fights out to avoid death. They facejam each other down to the mat and both guys are in trouble. Back up and Rey gets two off a springboard cross body. A hard kick to the head gets the same for Rey before he hurricanranas Chavo into the 619. The seated senton misses and Mysterio hurricanranas both guys out to the floor.

Chavo takes control and sends Rey back in but here’s Vickie to yell at him. Rey dives off the apron with something the camera misses to take out Chavo and we head back inside. Chavo hits two of the Three Amigos as Vickie is screeching at them to stop fighting. Rey hits the Three Amigos and goes up top but Vickie keeps shouting at him to stop before accidentally crotching him down. Chavo hits a brainbuster and the frog splash for the pin.

Rating: C+. The match was entertaining enough but the bleeding dry of Eddie’s corpse is well beyond old here. Seriously, they were fighting over who was really defending Eddie’s honor. It was fun stuff but the Vickie screeching is getting already getting annoying. She’s been around seven years. How is that possible?

Booker is holding the title with a maniacal look in his eyes. He rants in a British accent for a bit and says he and Sharmell are the most powerful couple in wrestling. This brings in Edge and Lita who just happened to be standing off camera when Booker said that. They debate how important they are and make a wager: if Booker loses he has to be Edge’s servant but if Edge loses he has to kiss Booker’s feet.

This is a good example of what I mean when I talk about the show looking too structured. Why were Edge and Lita right there to respond to those comments? It comes off as so fake and set up in advance that it kills whatever air of realism the show has. Have Booker say they’re the powerful couple, then have Edge and Lita come in later in the show. Same amount of time spent, same result, doesn’t look forced. Why is this so complicated?

ECW Title: Big Show vs. Sabu

Big Show is defending after Sabu beat Van Dam in a ladder match this past week. It’s extreme rules, which is a rarity for these title matches anymore. Sabu starts fast by swinging a chair and gets a quick one count off the Arabian Facebuster. The chair is set up in the middle of the ring but Big Show drops Sabu face first onto the steel. Big Show crushes the chair with his boot and chops Sabu down with ease.

We hit an early bearhug but Sabu pokes the eyes to escape. A springboard is caught in a fallaway slam from Big Show to send Sabu to the outside. The small one grabs a chair to blast Show in the face before dropkicking it into Show’s face. Sabu it too banged up to immediately cover so it’s only a one count. With nothing else working, Sabu loads up a table in the corner and hits a tornado DDT for no cover.

Sabu finally knocks him through the table off a springboard from the chair but Show pops up and electric chairs Sabu down. A Vader Bomb crushes Sabu and Show brings in two sets of steps. He bridges a table across them but his chokeslam is countered into a DDT through the table. Sabu sets up another table but charges into a chokeslam through it for the pin.

Rating: D. I don’t care. Seriously that’s the first thing that came to my head. This was less than nine minutes and the ending was never in double at all. At least a third of the match was spent setting up the next spot, especially near the end. The early days of WWECW with the old ECW guys were just torture to get through as it was clearly trying to recreate magic and it wasn’t anything of note. Dull match here and it would be several months before ECW picked up.

Layla won the Diva Search earlier this week.

The Divas welcome Layla to the company. These stupid girl power segments got old fast. Everyone gets on her and then say they’re all kidding. Layla is dragged into the shower and spanked for her initiation. Everyone is clothed so this goes nowhere.

We recap Hogan vs. Orton. Hogan is a legend, Orton is the legend killer, I think you can do the math. There was a stupid bit with Orton hitting on Brooke thrown in which went nowhere.

Randy Orton vs. Hulk Hogan

Hogan has a bad leg coming in, meaning he’s perfectly normal. Hulk easily shoves Orton down out of lockup to start before running him down with a shoulder block. The bandana goes into Orton’s face before Randy grabs a headlock. Hogan fights out with a top wristlock as we’re still going very slowly so far, much to Hogan’s liking. Randy finally gets in some shots to the face to put Hogan down, thereby making him the biggest heel in the world.

Hogan fights Orton off in the corner and sends him into the buckle. Almost all Hogan so far which continues as Hogan pounds down right hands in the corner. He bites Randy’s forehead and pokes him in the eye to keep us firmly in the mid-80s. Hogan rakes his back and pounds away on the mat before threatening the referee with a right hand. Orton holds the ropes on an Irish whip and pulls Hogan to the mat to work on the knee.

Back in and Orton cannonballs down on the leg before doing a short form of the circle stomp. A chop block puts Hulk down again but he ducks/collapses to avoid a high cross body. Hogan pounds away but misses the big boot, allowing Orton to dropkick him down. The RKO connects for three but Hogan’s foot was on the ropes. Orton argues with the referee, Hulk Hulks Up and the legdrop ends it.

Rating: D. Well let’s see: the booking was out of the 80s, Hogan broke a sweat for maybe a minute, and Orton was pinned clean by a 50+ year old man in about eleven minutes. This is the opposite of last year with Shawn as Michaels didn’t have much to gain from a win. Orton on the other hand could have ridden this win for months, but instead we get Hogan’s last WWE match (which you couldn’t have known at the time) as a tribute to him, complete with the 1985 formula all over again. Not a fan of this but you had to know it was coming.

We look at a big party yesterday which is exactly what you would think it was. This was also the announcement for WWE 24/7, which was nowhere near as cool as it sounded.

Melina isn’t sure if Foley can beat Flair but he freaks out on her, saying he’ll do it. This was an awkward on screen relationship.

Ric Flair vs. Mick Foley

In something else that was kind of awkward, these two traded shots at each other in their books with Foley saying Flair wrestled the same match for years and Flair calling Foley a glorified stunt man. Tonight is an I Quit match and it’s all about respect. Foley jumps Flair in the corner and pounds away before hitting the running knee to the head. A running trashcan shot to the head has Flair in early trouble and it’s already Socko time. Flair won’t give up so Foley says he’ll suffer.

Foley wraps barbed wire around the sock but Flair grabs Mick’s crotch to block it. We’re not even two minutes into this and we’ve already had a crotch grab. A low blow puts Mick down and Flair wraps the barbed wire sock around his hand for some chops. Ric sends Foley knees first into the steps but Foley rams him into the announce table to get a breather. Foley pulls out a barbed wire board and blasts Flair in the back with it to make Naitch scream.

We head inside again and the fans want fire. Flair is busted open (duh) so Foley rubs the barbed wire over the cut for good measure. A barbed wire board to the head and the shoulder have Flair in even more trouble but he tells Foley to kiss something instead of quitting. Foley spreads out the thumbtacks and slams Ric down onto them in a scary looking but perfectly safe spot. Think about it: the tacks are what, half an inch long? All they’re going to go into is fat so while it’ll hurt, there’s no real danger to the spot. It’s like being stung by a bunch of bees.

Anyway Flair still won’t quit so Foley brings in the barbed wire ball bat to cut at Flair’s head even more. Flair hits his second low blow to escape before sending him shoulder first into the post. The ball bat to the shoulder has Foley in big trouble as Ric goes into old school brawler mode. Foley won’t quit so Flair threatens to kill him by cutting out his heart.

A third low blow has Foley on the apron, allowing for Ric to knock him off the apron and onto the concrete. Foley is apparently out cold so medics and Melina come out to check on him. The trainer says it’s over and the bell rings. That’s not good enough for Flair though and he sends Foley back in to rub the ball bat over Foley’s face again. He runs the barbed wire over Mick’s unconscious eyes and Melina throws in the towel to end it. Wait that’s STILL not good enough for Flair because Foley has to say it. Ric threatens Melina with the ball bat and Foley quits to save her.

Rating: B. This was one heck of a bloodbath until Melina had to get involved. I get that they didn’t want either guy to quit but dang man, did we really need Melina out there? Like I said it never was a good fit on screen and would end with Melina screwing over Foley for no apparent reason. Good match, but Flair flat out doesn’t need to be doing this at his age.

Vince, Shane and Armando Alejandro Estrada (Umaga’s manager) make fun of Foley until Vince asks if they have Umaga’s support tonight. Armando says si.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. King Booker

Booker is defending and Batista never lost the title, only being stripped due to injury. This is his first major match since December/January. Booker’s wife Sharmell reaches Vickie levels of annoying by saying ALL HAIL KING BOOKER about 18 times on the way to the ring. Feeling out process to start with Booker taking him into the corner and slapping him across the face. Batista easily shoves him across the ring to prove a point as things are starting slowly.

The champion grabs a headlock but completely misses a spin kick, allowing Batista to counter into a powerslam for two. Booker tries to bail with Sharmell but Batista doesn’t even let him get close. Back in and Booker blocks a Batista Bomb by snapping Batista’s neck across the ropes to take over. We hit a chinlock less than four minutes in and the fans aren’t pleased. Back up and Batista hits a sloppy belly to belly suplex for two but Sharmell sends in the scepter for a cheap shot, giving Booker more control.

Booker goes after the arm, which is the injury that kept Batista on the shelf for so long. That makes too much sense though so it’s off to a regular chinlock. Batista finally gets up and crotches Booker on the top before hitting some weak clotheslines. They head to the floor with Booker sending him into the barricade to take over. A missile dropkick gets two on Big Dave but the ax kick misses. Batista Jackhammers him down for two and busts out a full nelson slam of all things. He loads up the Batista Bomb and Sharmell comes in for the lame DQ.

Rating: D. Well at least it wasn’t that long. These two had horrible chemistry together so of course they had two more PPV matches until Batista finally took the title at Survivor Series. The ending sucked, the match sucked, Batista looked as slow as Hogan out there, and the fans were bored by the match. Sounds like it needs a sequel to me.

Post match Batista “destroys” Booker, which translates to him not being able to get him up for a Batista Bomb until Booker clearly pulls himself up. Again, this feud went on for three more months.

Jeff Hardy is coming back tomorrow. Why bother announcing it when you can have a big surprise like that?

DX talks to someone we can’t see. They tell him how much Vince praised Umaga, calling him the REAL monster in WWE. They leave and whoever was in there bangs on the door.

We recap DX vs. the McMahons. This feud started with Shawn vs. Vince but HBK recruited HHH to help him out. DX destroyed a bunch of Vince’s stuff and made fun of him, basically getting on the nerves of everyone over 17 years old. Vince and Shane brought in everyone imaginable to help them but DX dispatched them easily because they’re both Hall of Famers and they were fighting jobbers to the stars. Umaga was the only one who could beat them one on one, making those matches the only interesting parts of the entire feud.

D-Generation X vs. Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon

Vince and Shane head back to the entrance and send out the Spirit Squad as the first line of defense. Superkicks, backdrops and Pedigrees abound, getting rid of the Raw Tag Champions (the cheerleaders) in less than fifteen seconds. DX beat the Spirit Squad about five times in this whole thing but never won the tag titles. I never quite got why.

Next up are Kennedy, Finlay and Regal who do a bit better thanks to Finlay’s club but only last about 40 seconds. Now it’s Big Show to really challenge DX. Why all nine guys didn’t come out at once is never really addressed. The three midcarders take down HHH on the floor, leaving Shawn alone with Show. A cobra clutch backbreaker and the Log Roll knock Shawn silly as HHH is destroyed. Now the McMahons come to the ring and there’s the opening bell.

Vince slams Shawn down to start and it’s off to Shane for some dancing. He peppers Shawn with left jabs and hits a big right cross to puts him down. HHH is still down from a chokeslam through the announce table. Vince comes back in for something like a clothesline to the ribs and fires off elbows in the corner. A double back elbow puts Shawn down and HHH is finally remembering what planet he’s on. Shane of course slides to the floor to knock him down again, which is pretty smart.

Shane hits a backbreaker on Michaels and it’s back to Papa McMahon. There’s a double elbow but HHH is on his feet. Shane, again, wisely baseball slides him onto the other announce table. The McMahons bust out the Demolition Decapitation and the Hart Attack of all things, complete with signature Bret pose. They even hit a bad looking Doomsday Device but Shawn pops up at two and fires off right hands. Vince sneaks in with a shot to the back and down goes HBK again. Shawn scores with a double clothesline and everyone is down.

HHH is back up on the apron and actually takes the hot tag. Adrenaline kicks in and house is cleaned with a high knee and a neckbreaker to Shane. Clotheslines take both McMahons down and there’s a spinebuster for the young one. Shawn drops the elbow on Vince and hits a Cactus Clothesline to take Shane out.

Here’s Umaga to superkick Shawn and hit a quick Samoan Spike to HHH. This brings out Kane as the guy DX was talking to so he can fight Umaga to the back. Shane can only get two on the Game so Vince punches the referee. Shane loads up a Coast to Coast but Shawn superkicks him out of the air. A trashcan shot to Vince sets up Sweet Chin Music and the Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: B-. That’s about as high as they can get and there’s nothing wrong with that. The booking was as smart as you could get since there might not be two guys in the company that could be a legitimate threat to DX in a straight match so making it eleven on two to start was all they could do. The rest of the match is your usual tag team formula match and that’s all they could do here. The fans popped for the ending too so I can’t complain much.

Wrestlemania 23 is in Detroit.

We recap Edge vs. Cena. Edge won MITB last year at Wrestlemania and cashed in on Cena at New Year’s Revolution nine months later. After some title trading with Van Dam and Cena, Edge wound up with the belt on Raw, setting up the one on one showdown here tonight.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Edge

Cena is the hometown boy tonight. If Edge gets disqualified he loses the title. Cena charges him into the corner and the booing begins. John pounds away and gets one off a back elbow and a belly to belly suplex. Edge avoids a charge to send Cena shoulder first into the post and out to the floor. It’s kind of early for that spot. Back in and Edge beats on Cena with basic strikes before knocking him off the apron and into the barricade.

Cena makes it back in at nine but Edge immediately drops an elbow on his back for two more. John makes a comeback with right hands as the fans are booing even louder now. A quick fisherman’s suplex gets two on Edge but he sends Cena over the top and out to the floor for the third time. Back in again and Cena misses a cross body to put him down again. Why it puts Edge down as well isn’t clear.

We hit the chinlock for a good while until Cena breaks the hold with pure power. Cena hits a knee to the chest but walks into a big boot for two. Edge goes up top and fights off Cena so he can hit a top rope clothesline for two. Off to a camel clutch but Cena again powers out of it. Both guys are down so Lita sends in a chair. Edge picks it up before throwing it down out of fear in a cute bit. Cena initiates his finishing sequence but the FU is countered into the Impaler for two.

Edge goes up again but has to escape the FU off the ropes into an electric chair but Cena gets two off a victory roll. A middle rope cross body is rolled through into the FU but a Lita distraction makes Cena drop Edge. The champion is sent into his chick and Cena gets a close two off a rollup. A double clothesline puts both guys down until Edge rolls over for two.

The Canadian is up first but the spear is countered into the STFU. Lita tries to come in with the belt but Edge waves her off and gets the rope. The referee has to drag Cena off, allowing Lita to load up brass knuckles on Edge’s hand. Cena grabs the FU anyway but Lita comes in, only to be thrown on top of Edge in a double FU. How that isn’t a DQ isn’t clear but Cena flips her to the mat, allowing Edge to knock him out with the knuckles to retain the title.

Rating: B-. This took some time to get going but the ending was great. Edge winning is an interesting concept and they would go with the same idea next month when Cena beat Edge in Edge’s signature match in his hometown. The match wasn’t all that good though as it felt like they were just killing time until the end, which makes for a dull match.

Overall Rating: C. Right in the middle is about perfect here as there are almost equal amounts of good and bad. The interesting things about this show are the match lengths. Usually there are some very short matches and one or two longer ones. Here there’s only one match under nine minutes and the longest is the main event which isn’t even sixteen. That makes for a show where there’s nothing huge to save the bad stuff and everything is almost equal in length, meaning you can weigh almost everything the same. The show is definitely watchable but skip Booker vs. Batista.

Ratings Comparison

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Big Show vs. Sabu

Original: C

Redo: D

Hulk Hogan vs. Randy Orton

Original: B

Redo: D

Mick Foley vs. Ric Flair

Original: B-

Redo: B

Batista vs. King Booker

Original: D

Redo: D

Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon vs. D-Generation X

Original: C-

Redo: B-

Edge vs. John Cena

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: C+

Redo: C

Other than Hogan, not a lot changes here. This show pretty much is what it is.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/09/history-of-summerslam-count-up-2006-hogan-and-dx-are-in-charge-are-we-in-1998/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Invasion of the Bodyslammers
Hosts: Lord Alfred Hayes, Slick
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Jim Ross, Randy Savage

Oh how I love the WWE Network. Back in the day, I had this on tape and watched it so many times that I can probably tell you the commentary from memory. I’ve always wanted to review it but it’s kind of hard to find. Well either that or I’m too lazy to actually look it up. This is from early 1993 so don’t expect the best action in the world. Let’s get to it.

Hayes and Slick are in a bowling alley where Slick is teaching Kamala how to bowl (As part of teaching Kamala how to be a man. I never said these things were the most interesting in the world.). First up: Slick has bowling shoes for him but Kamala is scared to put them on so let’s go to a match.

From January 25, 1993 in San Jose, California. Note that Jim Ross is doing commentary on all matches, despite most of them taking place before he debuted at Wrestlemania IX.

Yokozuna vs. Earthquake

Yokozuna goes to the sumo pose and we get some Thigh Master jokes. There’s no contact until over a minute and a half in, which is probably the best idea given the cardio issues here. Earthquake gets in some jumping kicks to the ribs but a shoulder exchange goes nowhere. Some clotheslines put Yokozuna down to a knee but he elbows Earthquake down just as easily. The big fat leg crushes Earthquake again and a running splash in the corner sets up the Banzai Drop for the pin at 3:45.

Rating: D. They were right to keep this short and when you take out the staring at each other early on, there’s not much else to do. Yokozuna won the Royal Rumble the day before this was taped so he was well on his way to the top of the company. A win over a former top heel like Earthquake, especially one this big, was the right way to go. The length helped and while they didn’t do much, they did it right.

From December 14, 1992 in Green Bay, Wisconsin.

Nasty Boys vs. Beverly Brothers

Egads what was wrong with me as a kid? Sags shoves Beau into the corner to start and gets punched in the face. The announcers talk about how this is going to be a fight, just after talking about how the Beverlies are such great wrestlers. JR: “Now Brain which one is Beau and which one is Blake?” Brain: “Well now the guy with the long hair and the tooth missing, that’s one of the Nasties so forget him. Now the one with the long pants and the bowtie is the referee. This guy coming into the ring right now with blond hair is another one of the Nasties. The one in the blue is one of the Beverlies.”

Beau, the one with the mustache for you non-Beverly Brothers experts, gets beaten up by both Nasties for a bit until Knobbs misses a charge in the corner. The World’s Greatest Tag Team jump over your partner onto the opponent’s back (first popularized by the Beverlies) keeps Knobbs in trouble but Beau misses a middle rope headbutt. That’s not enough for the tag though as Blake comes in for a low blow with the announcers wondering how that could be allowed. I’m guessing it’s not the finish to the match. An elbow to the face allows the hot tag to Sags and everything breaks down for the double DQ at 6:48.

Rating: D. Heenan’s commentary helped this one along but it was only going to get so far. The Nasties didn’t fit as faces but they were going to get cheered at this point so it was the only choice the company had. The Beverlies were perfectly fine for a low level heel tag team and they put on some good performances when they were given the chance. Just a bad ending to a bad match here though.

Kamala doesn’t have shoes on yet but Hayes has got him a bowling ball with the same paintings that are on Kamala’s stomach. This works a bit better, but Kamala is still a little scared. Let’s go to a match instead.

From November 24, 1992 in Dayton, Ohio.

Razor Ramon vs. Undertaker

JR makes bowling references and Heenan loses it when he says they bowl in Oklahoma every Saturday night. If that’s not enough, Heenan tells a story about trying to get an Undertaker autograph but signing it himself and selling it to a kid. Ramon bails to the floor to start and the slow chase/walk is on. Back in and Razor hammers away but Undertaker just stares at him. The uppercuts set up New School (with JR selling the heck out of how awesome that is) so Razor clotheslines him to the floor.

That means a Stunner over the rope, which Undertaker has done far longer than I thought he had. Heenan: “What do you call him: an athlete or a monster?” Savage: “An athletic monster.” Heenan: “Thank you very much!” Back in and a side slam drops Undertaker, followed by five elbow drops. That’s not enough though as Razor steals the Urn and knocks Undertaker out. That’s only good for two and Undertaker makes the comeback, including a chokeslam to send Razor bailing for the countout at 5:03.

Rating: C-. I can go for two bigger guys hitting each other hard, even if the ending was lame. Undertaker was rapidly becoming a featured player at this point with the unstoppable monster thing working very well for him. Razor was still a newcomer here so it made sense to not have him lose the match clean here. I liked this more than I should have and that’s all you can ask for here.

From January 5, 1993 in San Antonio, Texas.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Typhoon

Just…why? JR is still on about the bowling thing and even Heenan has given up on the jokes. Typhoon powers out of a waistlock and a shoulder goes badly for Bigelow. For a change of pace, Bigelow tries a crossbody and gets planted with a World’s Strongest Slam to the shock of the announcers. Fair enough actually. Back in and Typhoon gets sent chest first into the buckle and they’re both down.

We hit the front facelock and some ax handles to the back put Typhoon down again. Bigelow scores with a suplex to even things out from earlier and it’s off to a chinlock. A headbutt gives Bigelow two but he can’t hold Typhoon up for a slam. Typhoon loads up the splash but picks him up for no apparent reason instead of even hitting said splash. Now the top rope headbutt is enough to put Typhoon away at 7:28.

Rating: D. The slams were impressive but Typhoon got less and less useful every single day. He’s a big fat guy who can’t do anything other than big fat guy offense, which doesn’t help him much when he pulls Bigelow up instead of even trying his finisher. Bigelow wasn’t much around this time either but at least he had some charisma and could do something a little more interesting.

Slick demonstrates a strike but Kamala is fascinated by his new ball. Therefore, let’s go to the Repo Cam.

We start with Repo Man harassing a family who has bought a new camper but is late on the payment for his camera.

Instead, Repo Man allows him to film the day’s activities to let him keep the camera. First up: a guy behind on the payments for his Cadillac. Repo Man sneaks up on him (in broad daylight and outside the Selland Arena in Fresno, with a WWF production truck in the parking lot) and takes the car, revealing the driver to be Bill Alfonso (not named but that voice is easy to recognize). Thankfully Repo Man is smart enough to remember his cameraman.

Next up: Repo Man steals a kid’s bike for because his dad is late picking him up from school. It’s quite a sight to see Smash riding down the street on a child’s bike, shouting over his shoulder that the kid’s dad owes him big money and for the cameraman to hurry up.

It’s time to move on to something bigger now as Repo Man goes into a video store (full of Coliseum Videos of course) and promises to take it soon. The cashier says she can get out of trouble if she plays the Repo Man’s Greatest Hits.

So now we’re on a tape in a segment, this time with Repo Man kicking a car window in and stealing it too.

Repo Man steals another car. We get the idea!

Back in the video store, he takes the guy’s camera to wrap things up. It went on too long but Repo Man talking to the camera was funny.

From April 29, 1992 in Syracuse, New York.

Intercontinental Title: Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels

Bret is defending. Feeling out process to start with Shawn’s armdrag annoying Bret a bit. Savage: “Michaels can wrestle.” Just not against Savage on the big stage after a long rivalry. Shawn takes him down by the hair into an armbar but Bret sends him outside, frustrating Shawn to no end. Back in and Bret tries his own armbar as these two have a long history of mirroring each other.

In what might not be the brightest move in the world, Bret tries to run the ropes and gets cut off by a knee to the ribs, as Shawn is just better when things speed up. Sherri even gets in a forearm from the floor, as is her custom. An elbow sets up the chinlock on Bret as you can hear the fans getting behind Bret.

It works for a few seconds but Bret charges into the superkick (not yet the finisher) for no cover and only a reaction from Savage. A clothesline out of the corner gets Bret out of trouble again and the middle rope elbow gets two. Shawn bails to the floor in a smart move and they slug it out but Shawn knocks him off the apron into the barricade for the countout at 8:52.

Rating: C+. This was a slow motion version of what these two are capable of doing and while it might not be the brightest idea in the world to have Bret defending a title that he hadn’t held in a good eight months by the time this came out, at least they got these two big names in there. These two might get together again a few times in the future.

Post match Shawn takes the title from the referee and shoves him down, only to get hit by the belt from a returning Bret.

Slick bowls another strike but Kamala doesn’t stop looking at the ball. The solution is to give him another ball but it’s easier said than done.

From February 16, 1993 in Dayton, Ohio.

Doink the Clown vs. Kamala

This is still evil Doink with a gift box. Hang on a second as Doink wants to give Kamala the present, which Heenan thinks is a bowling ball. Heenan doesn’t think that’s necessary though: “What you could do is just shave Kamala’s beard, cut off his head, stick a finger in each ear and roll him down the alley. Same thing!” Kamala gets distracted by the box and gets taken down by a double leg. Another takedown has Kamala in trouble as Heenan sings Doink’s praises. A superkick and some chops have Doink out on the floor but he offers Kamala the present. That’s enough for a countout to end Kamala at 3:20.

Rating: D. I suddenly feel like I’m watching a bad episode of Raw. The box thing was an idea where you could probably guess what was coming as soon as Doink brought it to the ring but what else were they supposed to do here? There’s not much you’re going to get out of a three minute match with these two, but it does make me realize how awesome heel Doink could have been with some more time.

And of course there’s nothing in the box. Kamala beats him down to blow off some steam.

From December 14, 1992 in Green Bay, Wisconsin.

Undertaker vs. Papa Shango

They stare each other down (which Savage LOVES) and Shango grabs him by the throat for a drive into the corner. An uppercut sets up Old School and a slam but since a slam isn’t exactly devastating, Shango knocks him to the floor with a clothesline. For some reason Paul Bearer distracts the referee and Shango uses his voodoo stick to spray sparks in Undertaker’s face. Savage: “We may be about to see the Undertaker’s first defeat!” Savage does remember that Undertaker is a former WWF World Champion right? A chair to the back keeps Undertaker in trouble but three straight slams mean three straight situps. With Shango running out of ideas, he copies Ramon from earlier in the tape with a series of elbows and that’s just not right. Undertaker pops up and hits the chokeslam for a fast pin at 6:30.

Rating: D. Other than the blast of sparks, there wasn’t much else to talk about here. Then again, this isn’t the kind of a tape where you’re supposed to get some big match with big storyline advancement or a major showdown. At the same time, Undertaker vs. Shango is the kind of match that writes itself. I know Undertaker would go on to have a fine career but he was in there with a Hall of Famer. You would expect a slightly better performance, no?

Slick has finally explained the concept of the game to Kamala and even gotten him another ball. Kamala then runs down the alley to knock the pins down, meaning we need another explanation. How bad is it that these are kind of amusing?

From February 1, 1993 in New York City New York.

Battle Royal

Owen Hart, Koko B. Ware, Kamala, Kim Chee, Shawn Michaels, Iron Mike Sharpe, Bob Backlund, Typhoon, Razor Ramon, Damien Demento, Berzerker, Terry Taylor, Skinner, Tito Santana, Tatanka,

From a Raw taping in the Manhattan Center. It’s the usual fighting to start as I’m trying to figure out who the final entrant is. Sharpe is out in short order with Kim Chee running around on the floor. Shawn gets rid of Koko with a heck of a backdrop and it’s back to the brawling as the announcers discuss pillow fluffing. Various people are bent around the corners and Typhoon gets rid of Skinner.

Savage picks Typhoon and JR goes with Kamala while Heenan picks Razor and a few others. Demento is gone with Owen following him a few seconds later. Shawn snaps off some left hands on Santana in the corner and Berzerker is out as well, earning a loud HUSS chant in the process. In a rather dumb move, Chee gets rid of Kamala (his former boss/whatever else you would call Kamala to Kim Chee), who gets back in and beats the heck out of Chee, eliminating him in the process.

Chee runs away into the crowd and the chase is on, eventually heading into the balcony after some more brawling in the ring. Taylor and Backlund were eliminated off camera and Shawn backdrops Typhoon over the corner to get us down to Santana, Michaels, Ramon and Tatanka. Shawn and Tatanka trade lefts and rights in the corner as Santana and Ramon can’t eliminate each other.

The pairs switch off until Michaels gets double teamed to keep him in trouble. A double kick to the ribs gets rid of Michaels so we’re down to three (four if you remember how to count to sixteen) and here’s the Giant Gonzalez, who seems to be the sixteenth entrant. Razor goes underneath the bottom rope and Tatanka and Santana are tossed by the monster. Gonzalez leaves over the top so Ramon can crawl back in to win at 13:18. Heenan: “I WIN AGAIN! I WIN AGAIN!” Savage: “You gotta be ribbin!”

Rating: D-. Aside from Kamala running around the balcony for a funny visual, there’s only so much you can get out of a match like this, especially with such a screwy finish. Ramon was still a relative newcomer at this point so it was a good idea to let him win a match like this. If nothing else, the announcers were hilarious with Heenan changing picks and then claiming the win like only he could do.

From October 26, 1992 in Springfield, Illinois.

Tatanka vs. Repo Man

They start fast with some rope running with Tatanka taking over, even sending him out to the floor. Back in and a top wristlock puts Repo Man down as Heenan explains why it’s a big deal to give Tatanka his first loss. That’s the kind of simple thing that is completely lost on most commentary today and I’d love to see it come back.

Repo Man screams HE’S BREAKING IT during an armbar, with Heenan again explaining that Repo Man might be trying to just get a breather if the referee yells at Tatanka. A legdrop on the arm keeps Repo Man in trouble but he ducks a middle rope crossbody. So he’s repossessing control. Tatanka fights out of a weaker armbar and goes on the war path with the chops. A top rope chop sets up the Papoose To Go for the pin at 7:42.

Rating: D+. Nothing match of course but Heenan’s commentary was actually interesting. Maybe he got bored with the jokes and went with some actual analysis for a change. That stuff was worth listening to and that’s more than you get on most shows. Tatanka was going to become a bigger deal in the upcoming months so this wasn’t really in doubt, but Repo Man’s rantings were amusing.

Back in the alley, Kamala is standing in front of the lane and rocking the ball back and forth….but the ball goes backwards. We’ll go on to the main event for the sake of sanity.

From January 4, 1993 in Beaumont, Texas.

Mr. Perfect vs. Ric Flair

You know Heenan is going to go nuts over this one. They’re a bit slower to start and hopefully they have the time to do something here. Perfect busts out a strut of his own and slaps Flair in the face and there are far too many empty seats in the better seats. A drop toehold sets up another slap and Heenan is losing it. Flair is back up with a ram into the buckle for one of those great Perfect twisting bumps. He’s fine enough to clothesline Flair to the floor as Heenan is trying to convince himself that it’s still early.

Back in and a poke to the eye cuts Perfect off as Savage and Heenan debate Flair vs. Savage from Wrestlemania VIII. As expected though, Flair takes too long to go up top and gets slammed down for two (the classics never die). A shinbreaker sets up the Figure Four (the classics still never die) and Flair grabs the ropes as you would expect him to. The hold is turned over and a rope is grabbed so it’s time for Perfect to slug away on one leg. Right hands in the corner set up the Flair Flip and Flair bails to the floor. Back in and Flair ducks his head for some reason, setting up the PerfectPlex for the pin at 10:50.

Rating: B-. At least the last match on the show is the best, making it a good way to go out. These two always had great chemistry together and their Loser Leaves the WWF match a few days later would be even better. Flair was on his way out of the company at this point but he was still having good matches, which is a lot better than the people who just put it in neutral in their last few matches.

Slick is disappointed by failing with Kamala’s lack of bowling skills, only to have Kamala bowl a strike behind his back. Celebrating wraps us up.

Overall Rating: D+. So yeah nostalgia ruled the day with this one as it’s really not that good. Now at the same time, it’s really not that bad with mainly a bunch of matches that could have served as dark matches most of the time. Some of them were perfectly fine though and the bowling things were so goofy that they were fun. There are far worse Coliseum Videos out there so I’ll take what I can get in something like this.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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IMG Credit: WWE

Armageddon 2003
Date: December 14, 2003
Location: TD Waterhouse Centre, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 12,672
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’ll wrap up the pay per view schedule for the year here with another show that is hardly inspiring. The main event here is a triple threat match between Raw World Champion Goldberg, HHH and Kane, because why have one challenger who can’t bring out the best in Goldberg when you can have two? I’m almost scared of how lame this could be so let’s get to it.

Here’s the go home Raw if you need a recap.

The Fink opens us up. Fink: “Would you please rise TO HONOR THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA???” Lillian Garcia does her usual great rendition but I don’t have the urge to punch a French guy, meaning it’s kind of a failure on WWE’s part. This is the day after Saddam Hussein was caught so it’s not as random as it seems.

The opening video is your standard collection of Bible verses about Armageddon and as expected, it’s all about the triple threat.

Booker T. vs. Mark Henry

Booker goes aggressive to start with a long series of right hands and is shoved down just as fast. We even get a rare Booker T. chant until Henry clotheslines him to the floor to calm them right back down. A whip sends Booker into the steps but he’s right back up with a slingshot dive to take Henry out. Back in and the missile dropkick puts Henry down again as the fans are sticking with this one early on.

Teddy Long offers a distraction though and Henry runs Booker over to cut him off and the pace slows right back down. We hit a modified bow and arrow for a bit before a running crotch attack to Booker’s back has him in even more trouble. Back in and we hit the chinlock as Henry isn’t exactly known for his varied offense. He mixes things up (by his standards at least) with a bearhug. See now he’s squeezing a different part of Booker so it’s a completely different style.

A hard clothesline cuts off Booker’s comeback but the legdrop misses. Booker’s bicycle kick sets up an ax kick for two in what might have been his big shot. Henry grabs a spinebuster and nearly collapses when covering for two. Dude it’s eight minutes into the match. You shouldn’t be that tired. Now the legdrop is good for two and Henry hits a jackknife of all things, which looked more like Booker slipped than being intentional. Possibly out of fear of his safety, Booker hits another ax kick for the pin.

Rating: D+. Henry has been wrestling for going on eight years at this point and somehow he’s still not getting better. The power moves look good in spurts but the powerbomb looked horrible (not to mention dangerous) and you can only do so much squeezing in a nine minute match. At least Booker won though and Henry can drop back down to the midcard (at best) where he belongs.

Eric Bischoff is livid and gives Christian and Chris Jericho a pep talk for their mixed tag later tonight. Jericho looks hesitant but here’s Mick Foley in the arena to cut them off. Foley talks about how he’s here in Orlando to deliver his first pay per view as co-manager (I’m sure he’ll be yelled at for getting the title wrong.) of Raw. The Steve Austin petition has now broken one million signatures and that means it’s time for a celebration. Cue Stacy Keibler as a cheerleader for a series of cartwheels and the obvious visual appeal.

With Foley picking Stacy up, here are Randy Orton and Ric Flair to interrupt. Orton holds that Foley didn’t pull anything because he’ll need to be ready to count the pin in the Intercontinental Title match. Austin is gone because Orton got rid of him at Survivor Series so it’s time to crown a new champion. Foley says Orton wants to go so let’s have the title match right now.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Orton vs. Rob Van Dam

Orton is challenging and Foley is guest referee. Rob sweeps the leg to start and Orton is already taking a breather on the floor. Back in and they hit a technical sequence with Orton not being able to do anything and leading to a standoff. Rob goes with what he does best and kicks Orton down. Another kick sets up a running flip dive to the floor as Orton can’t get much going so far.

Rob gets caught on top and shoved into the barricade though, which happens to him far too often. Then again it’s not like wrestlers are people who learn very well in the first place. Flair gets in some choking from the floor and Foley yells at him, which just lets Orton hammer away even more. We hit the chinlock (requirement fulfilled) for a good while until Rob gets two off a rollup.

Orton throws him onto his shoulder for a powerbomb but takes a step forward into a neckbreaker for a cool move. That means another chinlock until Rob fights up with a spinwheel kick. Rob (with his ponytail nearly out in a rare look) slugs away in the corner and gets two off a northern lights suplex, sending Orton bailing to the floor again.

The breather works as Orton grabs the hanging DDT back inside and yells at Foley on the two count. As you might guess, Van Dam kicks him down again and hits Rolling Thunder but has to kick Flair away. There’s the stepover kick to set up the Five Star but another Flair distraction lets Orton crotch Rob. The RKO gives Orton the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. This is the perfect role for Rob: he can keep the title warm and give you a good match to make a bigger and better name champion. Orton had to win here as it’s high time to make him look like he has more than potential. Evolution looks better here too as the team has a second champion instead of HHH and three lackeys. Good match, even with Rob being his pretty usual self. Then again, it’s not like he cranked it up to another level most of the time in WWE.

Orton’s post match celebration makes the title seem like a huge deal as he seems blown away by winning it. You don’t see that often enough.

We recap the battle of the sexes with Jericho and Christian romancing Trish Stratus and Lita to some success. It turned out to be a bet between the guys though, which crushed both women and broke their hearts. Now though, Jericho seems to be having second thoughts, even as Bischoff has set up this mixed tag.

Chris Jericho/Christian vs. Trish Stratus/Lita

Jericho tries to talk his way out of trouble with Trish but gets slapped, setting up the forearms that you would expect from Sapphire instead of a multiple time Women’s Champion. That earns Trish a spanking so she kicks him away and slaps him in the head. Some bad dropkicks have Jericho in trouble so it’s off to Lita vs. Christian. Lita slaps him as well and then runs away, followed by some equally lame forearms.

A headscissors puts Christian down but Jericho gets in a cheap shot from the apron in a good heel move. It’s off to Jericho for some trash talking and some standing on Lita’s hair. A powerbomb is countered into a loose hurricanrana for two and Lita loses her top to the delight of both Lawler and the fans. Lita finally gets smart with a low blow, allowing the tag to Trish who thankfully throws the forearms that she would throw in matches instead of like she’s a terrified schoolgirl.

The Chick Kick rocks Christian and Jericho gets crotched on top. He’s fine enough to block the Stratusphere but Christian gets sent into Jericho. That’s enough for two off a rollup but a hard clothesline takes Trish’s head off. Lita comes back in with a hurricanrana, only to have Jericho make a save. Jericho checks on Trish and seems to show some sympathy until Christian rolls Trish up for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was two different matches in one as the first half felt like something out of Memphis in 1974 and the second felt like it could have been interesting. In other words, once Trish and Lita realized they were Trish Stratus and Lita rather than fans in over their heads, it got a lot better. If that was the case throughout, this could have been a fun underdog match but for what we got, it was too little two late.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Batista. Shawn was trying to survive for Team Austin at Survivor Series when Batista interfered and cost him the match. Batista wasn’t done though and beat Shawn up some more, setting up the match tonight. In other words, they’re hoping Shawn can pull off a good match to make Batista look better than he is. I mean, it’s not the worst idea in the world.

Shawn Michaels vs. Batista

Shawn goes with the speed to start and snaps off some rights and lefts in the corner to annoy Batista. More punches get the same result and a slide between Batista’s legs allows Shawn to punch Ric Flair out. Things reset a bit and this time Batista goes with power in the form of some knees in the corner.

Flair goes into cheerleader mode as Batista starts in on the back with a hard whip, followed by just driving an elbow into the side of Shawn’s head. Shawn blocks a belly to back superplex though and gets two off a moonsault press (which was a foot or so off center). There’s the nip up so Batista takes it outside for a whip into the steps to put Shawn down again. They’re doing well with the power vs. heart/experience idea here.

Some backbreakers get Batista back to where he was going before with Flair losing his mind that the referee hasn’t stopped it yet. Back up and Shawn hits the forearm into the nip up before countering a chokebomb into a DDT. The top rope elbow connects but Sweet Chin Music is countered into a spinebuster. That means it’s Batista Bomb time but Shawn slips out and nails Sweet Chin Music for the pin.

Rating: C. This was a shorter version of Orton vs. Michaels from a few months back and that’s the right way to go. I can live with Evolution not winning every match and Shaw using the experience and intelligence to win over a muscle head like Batista makes enough sense. If nothing else just have Batista power through some nitwit and he’ll be fine.

Post match Batista is so out of it that he thinks he won and here’s Maven for a match added on Heat. One beatdown later and Maven is done, meaning Matt Hardy (whose fingernails grow very quickly), his opponent for tonight, can get a forfeit win. That’s the fast track version of getting Batista back to normal.

In the back, a very sweaty Flair has to calm Batista down and say that Batista is better than Shawn. Everyone trips, but the good ones get back in the game. Flair has an idea and says they’re both leaving with titles. Thanks for the spoiler Naitch.

Tag Team Titles: Tag Team Turmoil

Gauntlet match for the titles with the Dudleys defending. La Resistance vs. Rosey/The Hurricane starts things off with Conway slugging at Hurricane to start. A low bridge puts Hurricane on the floor as the USA chants begin. As usual, the fact that two Americans are currently wrestling goes completely over their heads. Dupree comes in and now that the chants are more appropriate, they starts dying down.

Hurricane gets in an X Factor and tags in Rosey to as much of a reaction as a tag to Rosey is going to draw about two minutes into a match. Rosey splashes Conway and dumps Dupree over the top before getting on the middle rope. Hurricane gets on his shoulders for a big splash to pin Dupree. Mark Jindrak and Garrison Cade come in third and roll Hurricane up for the pin in about four seconds.

Lance Storm and Val Venis are in fourth with Venis and Jindrak starting things off. That goes nowhere so Garrison and Lance trade armdrags and headlocks. The BORING chants begin and you can see the empty seats from people hitting the concession stands. One heck of a left hand breaks up a springboard and Jindrak come in to crank on Storm’s arms. A missed charge allows the hot tag to Venis as everything breaks down. The Blue Thunder Bomb gets two on Jindrak so Venis tries a suplex but falls victim to the Rick Rude/Ultimate Warrior finish for the pin.

It’s the Dudley Boyz in fifth to clean house with Cade getting caught in the Tree of Woe and Bubba abusing his chest. Jindrak comes in for one heck of a clothesline on D-Von and it’s off to the chinlock. A top rope elbow hits D-Von but “misses” and the hot tag brings in Bubba. Everything breaks down and Jindrak rolls D-Von up for two, only to have the 3D send the Dudleys on. Cade decks both Dudleys as Scott Steiner and Test are in sixth. The villains come in with little resistance and Steiner’s push-up elbow gets two.

It’s off to a Fujiwara armbar of all things before Test comes in for some stomping. A regular armbar has as much effect so Bubba throws him down for a breather. The middle rope backsplash ACTUALLY connects for two on Test and it’s back to D-Von to pick things up a bit. A rollup gets two on Test but he’s right back with the full nelson slam for two. With the wrestling not working, Test does the old throw in the belt so you can use a chair spot for two on D-Von. The Bubba Bomb hits Test though and D-Von gets the pin to retain.

Well hang on a second as here’s Bischoff that we have a seventh team. In case you’re really slow, it’s Flair and Batista as evil bosses are still evil bosses. The beatdown is on with Flair putting Ray in the Figure Four and the Batista Bomb pinning D-Von. Evolution was in there for about thirty seconds.

Rating: D. This was long and uneventful until the screwy finish. The problem was the same as usual with most gauntlet matches: there’s nothing to the matches because they have to go so fast and in this case, most of the teams are so lame that it’s not exactly something worth watching. This could have been much worse with less time but still, just a screwy way to set up the ending of the show.

Video on the Tribute to the Troops announcement.

Women’s Title: Ivory vs. Molly Holly

Molly is defending in a match that I don’t think was even mentioned coming into the show. Ivory sends her out to the floor to start as the announcers debate sexual frustration. A dropkick to the leg knocks Ivory face first into the apron so the champ can take over. It’s off to an armbar and the discussion is off to Molly drinking prune juice. There’s a handspring elbow to Ivory as you can see even more empty seats now than during the tag match. Ivory sends her face first into the buckle for two but Molly reverses into a rollup with the tights for the pin to retain.

Rating: D. There’s no story and they had four minutes. What else can you expect from a match like this? It’s not their fault here as they were put in a match to fill in time and given nothing to work with, meaning the deck was entirely stacked against them. The division needs some fresh blood and Ivory isn’t the right person to challenge for the title.

We recap the World Title match. Goldberg is defending, HHH is HHH and Kane decided to attack Goldberg so HHH could say it was a different match when he gets the title back again.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Kane vs. Goldberg

One fall to a finish. The bell rings and they stand around staring at each other for a long time. After a minute of standing there, Goldberg walks to HHH and Kane walks to Goldberg, allowing HHH to jump the champ from behind. The double teaming is on as we’re waiting on who gets to cover Goldberg. A clothesline takes HHH down and a powerslam does the same to Kane as the fans are trying to get into this.

Kane sits up so Goldberg knocks him down again, followed by doing the same to HHH. Goldberg slams Kane off the top for a bonus and powerslams HHH for no cover. The distraction lets Kane get in a big boot and some right hands to Goldberg as I’m not expecting much of a story to break out here. A double suplex drops Goldberg and HHH covers for two, much to Kane’s annoyance.

Kane clotheslines HHH to the floor by mistake so HHH chairs him in the back, breaking up a chokeslam to Goldberg in the process. Goldberg takes the chair from HHH and wraps it around his ankle but Kane breaks up the Pillmanization. They head outside with Goldberg trying a Jackhammer through the table, only to be broken up with a chair to the ribs from HHH. You know, because why would you want Goldberg to get rid of Kane and then wear him out with the chair in your hands and a free shot?

HHH elbows Goldberg through the table but winds up in front of Kane while holding the chair that he used to put him down. Kane beats on HHH a bit as this just keeps going. They head inside with HHH getting beaten up some more, including the side slam for no cover. The chokeslam is blocked by a poke to the eye and a DDT plants Kane. That’s enough for the ring so they head up the ramp with Kane chokeslamming him there instead. Goldberg is finally back up and spearing Kane as they come back inside for two with HHH making the save.

It’s a three way slugout with Goldberg getting the better of it, including a double clothesline to take both guys down. There’s another spear to Kane and one to HHH, drawing in Evolution for a distraction. They’re quickly dispatched so Goldberg and Kane choke each other until HHH hits Goldberg low. Kane chokeslams the champ but Batista pulls him to the floor, allowing HHH to get the pin and the title. Merry Christmas to us.

Rating: D+. Much like the whole show, this was much more dull and boring than bad. There was a grand total of zero doubt that HHH would win as you have the Evolution title dominance to go with HHH not being World Champion in a few months, which is completely unacceptable. This was as good as “you hit me, I hit him, he hits you, now we switch” for twenty minutes was going to be, which should tell you everything you need to know.

Evolution celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. There are worse shows, but this was 2003 Raw in a nutshell: a lot of Evolution, a good match here and there, but the whole thing is just so slow paced that nothing is really exciting. Also, much like a lot of the shows on the year, it barely broke two and a half hours, including the National Anthem. These one brand pay per views aren’t ready yet and that’s getting more and more obvious every single time they’re out there. These things need to be closer to two hours than three, but then they couldn’t charge as much and that wouldn’t be good, much like this show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

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IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 24, 2003
Location: E Center, Salt Lake City, Utah
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re coming up on Thanksgiving but more importantly tonight is a double shot with HHH challenging Goldberg for the Raw World Title and Raw Roulette all night long. It’s a night of Spin the Wheel Make the Deal, which used to be one of my favorite ideas when I was a kid. Now let’s see how WWE can screw it up. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

The roulette wheel is in the ring to start, accompanied by Eric Bischoff and a pair of showgirls. Bischoff reiterates that Raw Roulette is taking place because this is such a boring town and explains the concept. We get the first spin for a match to be announced but it’s Shawn Michaels with an interruption instead. Shawn says Bischoff interrupted him last week so this is his way of returning the favor. He’s spent the last week thinking back to Survivor Series and now it’s completely clear: he did the exact right thing. Shawn gave the fight of his life and didn’t cost Austin his job.

Cue Batista to say he cost Austin his job. Shawn wants the “jacked up nimrod” to come fight right now so he comes, only to have Bischoff cut them off. The match is made for Armageddon but tonight, as per the wheel, it’s Bischoff’s Choice. Tonight, we’ll do Batista/Ric Flair vs. Shawn/Chris Jericho.

Lita vs. Victoria

In a cage via a spin from Molly Holly and I believe the first women’s cage match in company history. Lita throws her her into the cage a few times to start and Lawler is panicking over Victoria’s thong being exposed. Victoria gets in her spinning side slam for two but Lita gets in a monkey flip and some right hands. A hurricanrana nearly drops Victoria on her head but she’s able to get in a slam off the top.

Lita goes up again….and falls off with no one touching her. That’s a really bad sign, as is Victoria ramming her into the cage again. A powerbomb pulls Victoria off the cage and there’s the moonsault. Lita goes for the door and here’s Matt Hardy to slam the door on her head to give Victoria the easy win.

Rating: D-. That fall off the cage looked so bad and there was no saving this thing. There was little drama and with only four minutes, you can’t get much done in there. It’s not a good match and there’s no real build to it, which is what’s going to cause problems with the show all night long.

Post match Matt goes after Lita but Christian runs in for the save.

Bischoff’s showgirls are huddled around Randy Orton, who promises to win the Intercontinental Title at Armageddon. He has a match tonight too and Bischoff has already spun the wheel for him (erg), setting up a Legend Killer match. Orton leaves and here are Hurricane and Rosey, who have a match tonight as well. They’ll be having a midget catching match and here’s a midget named Fernando, who runs off. Bischoff actually explains the match and Hurricane isn’t sure, so Bischoff says if they refuse, the loser gets fired. Hurricane: “I see. Rosey, wait here.” The chase is on.

Sgt. Slaughter vs. Randy Orton

Slaughter grabs a quickly broken Cobra Clutch as the fans chant USA. You know, in opposition to that foreigner from the far off city of St. Louis. Orton forearms him down and pounds away, setting up a sleeper. That’s reversed into a camel clutch which Slaughter reverses into another Cobra Clutch. Orton makes the rope and kicks him low, setting up the RKO for the pin. This was a thing that happened.

Post match Orton stomps away until Rob Van Dam makes the save.

Video on Goldberg vs. HHH from Survivor Series and the handicap match from last week.

Val Venis and Lance Storm are waiting for some women to arrive. These are a little more conservative than usual so they have to prove that they’re nicer guys. The ladies, looking pretty much the same as most of Venis’ women, show up and are ready to go out but are worried about wrestlers being too crazy. Cue Hurricane and Rosey, the former with a net, chasing Fernando. Storm: “They’re not with us.”

Ric Flair and Coach plug the Ultimate Ric Flair DVD set (Amen brother. That thing was awesome.) with Flair promising to take care of Shawn tonight.

Matt Hardy is ready to spin the wheel but first, insists that he’s slammed the door on Lita for good. Hang on though, as Bischoff has to gloat about firing Austin, though he does plug Austin’s upcoming UPN special. It’s a Strange Bedfellows match (Matt: “WHOA WHOA WHOA! Version 1 is straight!”), meaning a tag match with first time ever partners.

Lillian starts introducing the next match but hang on because we need to see Goldberg spearing HHH in video game form.

Bubba Ray Dudley/Garrison Cade vs. Matt Hardy/Christian

Sure why not. Matt and Bubba start with Hardy taking a heck of a chop to the chest. A takedown is enough for the tag to Christian (via a slap to the chest, which Matt may have learned from Bubba). Cade comes in with a headlock and the fans want tables. To be fair they’re more interesting than Cade’s headlock. A bulldog gets two on Christian and a middle rope shoulder is enough for the tag back to Bubba. The backsplash misses though…and Matt drops to the floor to walk out on Christian. The Bubba Bomb connects and Bubba yells at Matt, leaving Cade to tag himself in and drop a top rope elbow for the pin.

Rating: D. Angle instead of a match and that’s fine enough. Cade and Mark Jindrak have nothing going for them so giving the team a few wins isn’t the worst idea in the world. The gimmick allowed that to happen and it’s not quite as big of a deal as a cage match so this isn’t as annoying. Nothing match of course.

JR is aghast at Matt walking out on this nothing tag match. He wasn’t this annoyed at SLAMMING A METAL DOOR ON HER HEAD EARLIER. Cade hands Bubba the title but doesn’t let it go. Bubba yells a bit and Cade sneers as he leaves.

Shawn Michaels promises to beat the odds again tonight. He goes to leave but stops to point out the midget looking up Terri’s dress. A chase ensues.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Goldberg

HHH is challenging. They talk trash to start until a Flair distraction lets HHH deck him from behind. That earns HHH a hard clothesline and the fight heads outside with Goldberg’s ankle seeming fine so far. Goldberg gets sent hard into the steps and it’s time to start working over the shoulder. You know, instead of the ankle that was broken about a month ago.

A knee drop rocks Goldberg again but he’s still able to slam HHH off the top. For some reason Goldberg thinks ducking your head against HHH is a good idea and that means a facebuster. The gorilla press powerslam drops HHH again but Flair grabs the foot. Cue Orton to grab Goldberg, which should be a DQ, but seems to be nothing as HHH hits the Pedigree to draw out Kane. That just earns him a spear so Kane comes in and attacks Goldberg to FINALLY draw the DQ. I’m not sure if that was a missed spot or really bad officiating but it looked terrible more than once.

Rating: D+. The ending destroys any good stuff this could have been but the bigger problem is how these two just don’t work well together. They haven’t had a good match yet and this feud has been going on since before Summerslam. HHH works too much of a power style to make this work and it’s not getting better every time they fight. We’ll be getting it again too and that’s really annoying to hear, but it’s what HHH wants so who are we to complain?

Post break HHH and Kane storm into Bischoff’s office so a triple threat is made for Armageddon.

Fernando runs through the parking lot.

Booker T. vs. Mark Henry

Bischoff’s spin makes this a Salt Lake City street fight but Booker is waiting on Henry at the entrance. That means a stop sign to the head but Henry doesn’t even go down. Henry takes that away and bends it with ease so Booker tries a 2×4. That earns him a ram into the corner so Booker swings a metal skillet. Henry bends THAT and clotheslines Booker to the floor as this is more of a strongman demonstration than a match. The missile dropkick puts Henry down and the ax kick gets two. Booker goes for a trashcan but Henry takes it away and smashes him in the head for the pin.

Rating: D+. There’s something to be said about Henry wrecking the weapons and doing the scary power stuff. It’s not a good match of course but I was entertained and that’s as good as you can get here. The problem is it’s also bad booking as you don’t want Henry and Booker T. trading wins in short matches. That philosophy doesn’t work, no matter how much WWE likes to think it does.

Trish Stratus gets a bra and panties match but doesn’t seem to mind. She leaves and runs into Chris Jericho, who offers to use his Bischoff favor to get her out of it. Trish: “I’ve got this.” Jericho: “I know you’ve got it but I can go talk to him.” Trish talks about the Shawn tag match and Trish wants him to be the man that she knows he is. Maybe if he’s good with Shawn tonight, she’ll be good with him tonight. That gets Jericho’s attention.

JR plugs the Austin special. As he and Lawler are talking, Fernando runs up and sits on JR’s lap, making him the winner. JR puts his hat on Fernando, who has a mustache, and calls him a little fella.

Rob Van Dam vs. Scott Steiner/Test

The wheel comes up with a handicap match but Orton convinces Bischoff to spin it again for a bonus stipulation, which is a Singapore cane match. Rob knocks Steiner off the apron and dives onto Test, followed by a whip to send Steiner into the steps. Scott gets kicked down but Test scores with a cane shot to break up Rolling Thunder. A clothesline with the cane gets two but Rob is right back with the kicks. Rob canes Steiner by mistake and the Five Star hits Scott. Test’s second shot to the head puts Rob down for the pin.

Jericho tries to get Trish out of the match but Bischoff thinks he’s falling for her.

Jackie Gayda vs. Trish Stratus

Bra and panties of course. Jackie jumps her to start but gets her top pulled off early on. Trish gets put in the Tree of Woe and loses her top as well. Rico gets pulled in and loses his pants, which he seems to like. Jackie kicks Rico down by mistake and Trish takes her down for the win.

Post match Jackie freaks out and rips off Lillian Garcia’s jacket.

Trish tells Jericho that their evening activities depends on what he does. That’s quite the offer.

Chris Jericho/Shawn Michaels vs. Batista/Ric Flair

The arena is full of smoke from Shawn’s pyro. Shawn chops at Flair to start and Jericho comes in off the tag with no issues. A missile dropkick gets two on Flair and a few chops set up the Flair Flop. Batista comes in and spinebusts the heck out of Jericho. It’s back to Flair who goes up top and you know what’s next.

The tag brings Shawn back in as they’re certainly running through this one in a hurry. Batista gets knocked off the apron, leaving Shawn and Flair to punch it out. A poke to the eye blinds Shawn and he punches Jericho by mistake, followed by the superkick to Flair. Jericho superkicks Shawn, who falls onto Flair for the pin.

Rating: D. These four should be able to do better than this by definition. The time was killing them again though as there’s not much you can do with so little time and an angle involved in the finish. Shawn vs. Batista could be good with Shawn knowing how to handle someone like him, but the Jericho addition is a little odd.

Jericho bolts to the back as Shawn isn’t sure what happened. Batista and Flair lay Shawn out with Shawn bleeding from the mouth to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. I didn’t hate the show but there wasn’t much to see on there. The Raw Roulette thing helped a bit but having the chase scenes all night with JR as the payoff is a little beneath what I was hoping for. They set some stuff up for Armageddon though and that’s what helps most. However, when one of those things is ANOTHER Goldberg vs. HHH match, there’s only so much positive to be gathered. That story needs to change soon because it’s been out of steam for months now. There’s not much good to be found here, but I’ll take a gimmick show like this over a regular boring night.

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IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 20, 2003
Location: Casey Plaza, Wilkes Barre, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s still all about Goldberg and the bounty but this time he has a slightly better opponent with Shawn Michaels getting his shot. We’re also getting ready for Survivor Series in a few weeks, meaning things should be picking up in short order. Then again, that’s never stopped WWE before. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s show if you need a recap.

In Memory of Hawk.

We recap the bounty angle, which hopefully picks up speed tonight.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Steve Austin to get things going. Austin came here earlier today and found a note. Someone wants him in the ring at nine o’clock, which means there’s someone back there who wants to physically provoke him. This brings out Test, on crutches, with Stacy Keibler in toe. Test yells at her for taking too long to hold the door open and says he sent the note. He’d love to beat Austin up right now but can’t because of the broken foot. He wants an apology for the injury and another one for what happened to Stacy last week.

Austin gives both of them a middle finger instead and hopes Stacy learned a lesson: what Austin offers you a beer, you either decline with a smile or drink until you pass out. Stacy is about to respond but Test tells her not to speak unless he tells her to. Austin would love to beat up any kind of a man, including a crippled man. A fight is teased but Test won’t provoke him. Instead, Stacy shoves Test into Austin and you know what that means.

Before beer can be consumed, Eric Bischoff comes up on screen to mock Austin for not being able to hit anyone. Austin agrees, so Bischoff suggests they assemble teams for Survivor Series with that rule being gone vs. Austin being gone. The Board of Directors has already approved of this and Bischoff already has Chris Jericho and Scott Steiner signed up for his team. Jericho asks Austin if he’s in and of course the match is on. Stacy intercepts the beer and drinks it herself to Lawler’s delight.

Shane McMahon is waiting for Kane. Egads get us to Survivor Series already so this thing can be done.

Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. La Resistance

The Dudleys are defending and have dedicated the match to Hawk. D-Von and Conway start things off but a blind tag allows Dupree to come in with a dropkick to take over. The flying shoulder is mistimed and turns into a flying forearm instead but it still manages to send Dupree outside. Conway forearms D-Von down though and Dupree adds a Hennig necksnap. He throws in the dance too and of course Bubba is ready to kill him as a result. Bubba is likely more of a Saturday Night Fever fan.

It’s off to the chinlock for a bit until D-Von hits an enziguri (what an odd visual) to escape for the hot tag. That means a Flip Flop and Fly but D-Von gets crotched on top so the French guys can take over again. The double spinebuster gets two and there’s the USA chant. For some reason that doesn’t fire Conway up as he’s taken down with a reverse implant DDT. The Doomsday Device retains the titles.

Rating: D. The ending was a nice moment as you can imagine how big of an influence the Legion of Doom was on the Dudleys. La Resistance is better with Conway in the lineup but it’s still not like the team is anything more than a middle of the pack act at best. Thankfully they didn’t do another title change here and the Doomsday Device gave me a bit of a smile.

Bischoff gives Jericho and Steiner a pep talk before their tag match tonight. An argument breaks out over who is the leader. That’s the last thing Bischoff wants but Jericho says it’ll be fine.

Evolution promises that the bounty will be collected tonight. Booker T. comes in and says he’s ready to make a statement because the path to the Intercontinental Title begins right now. Randy Orton doesn’t buy it but Booker wants to fight right now.

Booker T. vs. Randy Orton

Joined in progress with Booker chopping Orton, in street clothes, up against the ropes. A hot shot and the backbreaker give Orton two and we hit the double arm crank. Booker is right back with a spinning kick to the face and the side kick but Orton takes the countout.

Rating: D+. This was more of an angle than a match though I could go for seeing more of these two together. Booker being back is a nice addition to the show but it’s not going to matter if he doesn’t have anyone to fight. That being said, he’d be a good choice for the Survivor Series team which is a fine way to get him back to speed.

Post match, Booker volunteers to be on Austin’s team. Makes perfect sense.

Raw World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Goldberg

Shawn is challenging. And never mind as Mark Henry jumps Goldberg during his big entrance. No match.

Post break, Austin finds out what happened (because I guess he was petting his dog) and is ready to go throw Henry out of the building. The match is uncertain.

Chris Jericho/Scott Steiner vs. Rob Van Dam/Lance Storm

Steiner and Van Dam start things off with Scott saying Rob’s arms “don’t have diddly squat”. Those are fighting words so Rob kicks away, followed by a crossbody for an early two. The cartwheel moonsault gets two more and it’s off to Storm for a leg lariat. Jericho comes in and the silence when Storm is on offense is very noticeable. Storm escapes a wristlock by standing on the ropes and backflipping out, meaning it’s time for some posing.

A Steiner distraction lets Jericho knock Storm into the barricade though, followed by a loud whip into the steps. We hit the chinlock as Steiner is already running out of offense. The announcers recap the show as Storm makes his comeback, only to get suplexed right back down. As usual it’s a good looking suplex from Steiner and far more effective when he only uses one. Jericho comes in and does some pushups, followed by the loud chops in the corner.

That’s fine with Storm, who jumps from the mat to the top rope for a back elbow to the jaw. That kind of thing never stops impressing me. Van Dam comes in for the kicks and a northern lights suplex for two on Jericho. The bouncing kick is left short so Jericho grabs a rollup with feet on the ropes for two of his own. Everything breaks down with Storm diving onto Steiner and Van Dam flipping out of a Walls attempt. Steiner gets in a chair to Van Dam’s back though and the Lionsault is good for the pin.

Rating: C. I’m still a big fan of Storm (that athleticism is very impressive) but having a gimmick of “I’m not boring anymore” isn’t going to work. He’s just not charismatic (which he himself will admit) and I’m not sure how to turn him into a star that fans want to see. I’m not sure how good of a fit he would be on the Survivor Series team, though that’s definitely where the story seems to be going.

The trainer tells Bischoff that Goldberg might not be able to defend the title. Bischoff thinks it’s an act but Goldberg says it’s on.

JR and King pay tribute to Hawk and Stu Hart.

Video on Stu, with Vince narrating.

Flair is on the phone with someone (presumably Teddy Long) and says no money because Goldberg is still up. There’s a backup option though.

Jericho comes up to Trish Stratus in the back and says there’s no need to thank him for last week. Trish says he doesn’t have to be Chris Jericho here and sincerely thanks him for what he did. Last week wasn’t about Austin though, because Jericho really respects her. Things get a little awkward and they leave. I’m really glad we’re finally to this story as it’s always been a personal favorite.

Mark Jindrak and Garrison Cade come in to see Orton about collecting the bounty. They had another idea in mind: beating Orton down and stealing the money. A left hand staggers Orton and the briefcase is stolen.

Post break Orton is panicking when he runs into Flair. Orton doesn’t tell him the truth and says he’ll hang in the back instead of going out there with Flair. Ric wants Orton to show Shawn the money one more time before the title match.

Trish Stratus/Lita vs. Molly Holly/Victoria

Lawler is now referring to Molly as “Molly Hottie”, ignoring those times where he thought she was fat and rather unattractive. Good to see that he found some strong glasses. Trish and Victoria start things off but Molly comes in after just a few seconds. Apparently Trish isn’t a fan of fast tags as she chops Molly in the corner but a Stevie Richards distraction lets the villains take over.

The always cool looking spinning side slam gets two and it’s back to Molly for the same off a swinging neckbreaker. The Molly Go Round misses and that’s enough to bring Lita in. Everything breaks down and Molly gets hiptossed but Stevie sneaks in with a powerbomb to give Victoria the cheap pin on Trish.

Rating: D+. The matches aren’t terrible but it would be nice if someone actually remembered that there’s a title to fight over in this division. I can’t remember the last time Molly defended the thing and I can’t remember the last time she wasn’t considered one of the lower level names in the division, which defeats the point of being a champion. At least there’s a story though, and that’s a lot better than what the division has seen in a long time.

Post match the beatdown stays on with Victoria putting the Women’s Title over Lita’s face. The slingshot legdrop is loaded up but Christian runs in for the save. And the plot thickens.

We look back at Henry attacking Goldberg.

Maven vs. Ric Flair

Maven isn’t waiting for the WOOing and decks Flair in the jaw to start us off. A backdrop on the floor keeps Flair in trouble but the referee grabs Maven’s punch. You know, which is done so consistently. Flair gets in a cheap shot to take over and it’s time to rip the skin off of Maven’s chest in the corner. We hit the chinlock as JR says Cade and Jindrak took advantage of an opportunity. There’s the knee drop but Maven pops up and wins a slugout to near silence. Flair is of course one step ahead though and grabs a rollup with trunks for the fast pin.

Rating: D. Now can we drop the Maven experiment please? There’s no upside to Maven here and he’s nothing more than a jobber to the stars with big eyebrows. The wrestling isn’t any good and losing to Flair in about four minutes isn’t going to make the fans care about his lame offense and low level charisma.

In the back, Orton finally tells Flair what happened but they know they can figure it out before HHH kills them. Cops come running up and we follow them to Kane.

Here’s a cut up Kane in the arena with the cops guarding the entrance. This whole thing with Shane started with Linda, who thought she could stop the monster. Everyone has thought they can control her but Linda found out differently. Linda was squirming for her very life and screaming no, but Kane learned a long time ago that no means yes. Kane likes hurting people and it felt so good.

Now Shane thinks he can stop Kane, but throwing him into a burning dumpster didn’t stop him, just like crashing a limo didn’t do it either. Kane will do anything he wants to Shane and there is no line that he won’t cross. Shane is done at Survivor Series but his pain has just begun.

Jindrak and Cade try to leave but get attacked by HHH with a 2×4.

Post break, HHH comes in to yell at Flair and Orton but Ric blames it all on Orton in a funny bit. HHH actually hands Orton the briefcase again and says don’t let it happen again. They’ll be watching the match in the back and HHH guarantees that the bounty is collected tonight.

Raw World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Goldberg

Shawn is challenging. Goldberg shoves him down with ease to start so Shawn starts sticking and moving. Some kicks to the knees and a dropkick to the side of the head have Goldberg in trouble but he’s right back with a gorilla press. Shawn takes a breather on the floor and he manages to shove Goldberg over the top in a surprising bit of power. Back in and Goldberg launches him into the corner but gets forearmed down. The power vs. speed stuff is working so far.

A powerslam cuts Shawn off but Goldberg is too banged up from the Henry attack. Goldberg scores with a military press but the spear hit the referee because of course it does. The superkick connects (see my previous because of course it does) to put everyone down. We get a replacement referee for the double count, despite Shawn only having been slammed a few times. Cue the returning Batista to send Shawn into the steps as the match is thrown out.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and that’s a shame as Shawn would seem to be someone capable of getting the best out of Goldberg. Batista returning is a great thing though as the three man Evolution really wasn’t working. Hopefully he’s gotten better in his time away, as the look is only going to take him so far.

The Batista Bomb plants Goldberg and Batista Pillmanizes Goldberg’s ankle. Evolution comes out and hands Batista the money to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Much better show than in recent weeks, though that’s not the hardest goal to achieve. The big thing here was they moved things forward towards Survivor Series with Batista returning to injure Goldberg and the announcement of the big elimination match. The wrestling was really pretty lame here but the storytelling was good, which is what matters a lot more in this case. Not a good show, but a step in the right direction.

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IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 13, 2003
Location: Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s all about HHH at the moment, despite him not actually being on the show. The big story is a $100,000 bounty that HHH has placed on Goldberg’s head, giving us great villains such as Mark Henry and La Resistance trying to collect. I’m sure we’ll hit the thrilling part soon enough. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s show if you need a recap.

Randy Orton, with the bounty money in a briefcase and Ric Flair, on crutches, are in the back with Flair saying the right person to claim the bounty hasn’t come around yet. Flair is too injured to wrestle Maven tonight but here’s Shawn Michaels to get their attention. Ric says he’s called Shawn and HHH the greatest of all time and last week he had to see Shawn beaten up by Mark Henry.

The fire is still burning in Shawn so he needs to go show everyone that he still has it. Blow the roof off the place and be HBK all over again by taking out Goldberg. If that’s not enough incentive, there’s $100,000 to be won. Shawn walks away without saying anything. Heck of a promo from Flair, who knows how to do this better than almost anyone else.

Opening sequence.

We open with a recap of Kane being destroyed last week but Chris Jericho, in the ring with Christian, says cut it off. Jericho calls this proof that Steve Austin needs to be removed from his position. This never happened under Eric Bischoff and now everyone in the back is following Austin, including Shane McMahon. Then on Friday, Shane broke Test’s foot at a match in Louisville, Kentucky. How long do people have to suffer because of these two maniacs?

This brings out Shane to say that Austin wasn’t responsible for what happened last week and breaking Test’s foot. Maybe Jericho and Christian will need an ambulance of their own this week. Cue La Resistance of all people to say this is a typical American response. The four on one beatdown is on but here are the Dudleys for the save. The villains refuse to fight and I’m assuming we have a main event.

Goldberg arrives and has to avoid being run over. That’s twice in less than a year.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Scott Steiner

Scott is challenging as his horrible misfortune continues after losing to Test. Seriously, how can he handle being in a title match? Steiner has Stacy Keibler sit in a chair at ringside and takes Rob into the corner for an early beating. More chops keep Rob in trouble until he gets a boot up in the corner. The split legged moonsault connects but Steiner is back with a suplex. Now he wants Stacy’s chair but gets turned down, allowing Rob to hit a spinning kick to the face. Rolling Thunder sends Scott outside where he grabs the chair himself for a stupid DQ.

Rating: D. Well at least it was short. Steiner is little more than a pretty weak midcard villain who can only get anywhere when he yells at Stacy. The match didn’t have a chance to go anywhere but that’s the right call here as Steiner continues to get more and more useless by the week.

Post match Steiner loads up the chair to hit Stacy but here’s Austin to interrupt. Austin tells Steiner to hit him instead and Scott actually does so, meaning the beatdown is on. Scott finally shoves Stacy into him to escape so it’s time to drink beer. Stacy doesn’t like it though, earning herself a Stunner. That’s probably not the best use of Austin in the world.

Maven vs. Rico

Flair is on commentary. Right wastes no time in kneeing Maven in the ribs as Lawler drools over Miss Jackie. A kick to the face gives Rico two but he misses a second, allowing Maven to hit an atomic drop. For some reason we don’t get the over the top selling from Rico so Maven hits a spinwheel kick instead. Maven’s spinning bulldog gets the pin.

Post match Flair is fine and runs down to hit Maven with the crutch. Gee I’m stunned.

Rosey, in civilian photographer attire, runs into Lance Storm who is reading Lita’s book. Storm agrees to have his picture taken when Hurricane comes in. There has been an accident at the Pittsburgh orphanage: someone has put caffeine in the babies’ milk and superheroes are needed! Rosey goes into a phone booth to change. Comedy ensues.

We look at the limo incident again.

The Dudleys come in to see Shane and tonight it’s an eight man tables match with the three of them and someone else against La Resistance/Jericho/Christian.

Goldberg tells….I’m guessing the parking lot attendant to look for the Cadillac that tried to run him over. Someone shoves a bunch of stuff off a high shelf but misses Goldberg.

Here’s Goldberg in the arena to say if someone wants the bounty, come get it. This brings out Shawn, who says the money isn’t a factor for him. Goldberg has forgotten the spear to Shawn last week and that’s not cool. Shawn: “When I make mistakes Goldberg, I own up to them.” Uh….yeah.

As you laugh at that statement, Goldberg and Shawn go nose to nose but here’s Tommy Dreamer with a kendo stick to….well to do very little as it’s a spear to cut him down. Shawn picks up the stick and Flair comes out, ranting and raving for Shawn to hit Goldberg. Now it’s Teddy Long and Mark Henry coming out saying they want the bounty. Bischoff shows up and makes Goldberg/Shawn vs. Flair/Orton/Henry for tonight.

Chris Jericho/Christian/La Resistance vs. Shane McMahon/Dudley Boyz/???

Tables match with one fall to a finish. The mystery partner is….the returning Booker T. Christian bails from Booker to start so we’ll go with Jericho instead. A kick to the face and a chop to the chest have Jericho in trouble before Bubba comes in for the big right hands. It’s off to Dupree who gets beaten up by both Dudleys. Jericho smacks D-Von in the back of the head though and the pace slows quite a bit.

We get into the standard alternating heel beatdowns as we’re still waiting on anything resembling to a tables match. Jericho scares the partners away but gets caught with a flying forearm. It’s off to Bubba to hammer away but Shane has to catch Jericho and Christian from walking up the ramp. You know, because they can’t beat up SHANE MCMAHON even when they’re up two to one.

Back in and ring and Shane punches away at Jericho, which of course works just fine. La Resistance crotches Shane against the post as this is already running longer than it needs. Thankfully the first table is set up at ringside but Booker scares the French guys off. Back from a break (WHY?) with Shane avoiding a charge to crotch Jericho on the ropes.

Conway is right there to keep Shane in trouble with a whip into Dupree’s elbow. The sleeper drop keeps Shane down and we hit the chinlock as I sit in awe of this show’s efforts to make Shane look like a big deal. Shane scores with a DDT for the hot tag off to Booker as everything breaks down.

Christian gets in a low blow to cut Booker down so Bubba hits the Bubba Bomb. Things finally start to pick up as Bubba brings in a trashcan to knock Bubba silly. D-Von makes the save this time though and Shane hits Coast to Coast. Well that escalated quickly. It’s table time but Jericho breaks it up with the Canadian flag. Cue Spike Dudley to go after Jericho, leaving Christian to take the 3D. Booker puts Conway through the table for the win.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t even that bad but this was nearly twenty minutes long with most of it being pretty basic tag wrestling before everything went nuts in the last few minutes. Shane wasn’t exactly pushed down your throat here but he was the featured performer in the match. Do we really need to push him this hard? His match with Kane is obvious and someone else could get a rub here. It wasn’t bad but it could have been cut in half, which isn’t a good sign.

Video on the recent house shows. You don’t see that outside of an international tour very often.

Rosey still can’t get out of the phone booth.

Back in the arena, the winning team is putting on a Spinarooni exhibition when Jonathan Coachman interrupts. He shows us the limo incident again but Shane takes the mic away. The Dudleys and Booker get rid of Coach so we can go live to Kane’s hospital via satellite. The doctor says Kane has been in and out of consciousness all week. Shane challenges him to one more match and Kane’s heart rate monitor picks WAY up. He heard Kane crying and that’s enough to wake Kane up so he can attack the doctors.

Lita/Trish Stratus/Ivory vs. Victoria/Gail Kim/Molly Holly

It’s a brawl to start with Ivory flapjacking Gail and getting two off a bulldog. Lita comes in and gets taken down by Molly as Jerry compliments Victoria’s gear. For some reason this turns into a discussion of JR wearing a backwards leather thong. Molly gets crotched on top though and it’s quickly off to Trish. The Stratusphere brings Molly back down and Lita adds a Twist of Fate. Steven Richards takes Lita out but Trish gets a sunset flip for the pin on Victoria.

Rating: D. Adding Victoria and Ivory helped a little bit but there’s only so much you can do in a six person tag with four minutes and interference. The main story of the division seems to be Trish vs. Victoria, which isn’t the best idea in the world when you have the title just sitting on Molly and going nowhere. I’ll take a story over no story though and this is already better than a lot of the other stretches we’ve seen from the women’s division over the years.

Post match Stevie and Victoria go after Trish but Chris Jericho of all people makes the save and checks on her. That’s quite the sudden change of pace but I’m rather pleased.

We recap Austin beating up Steiner and Stunning Stacy earlier.

Jericho comes up to Austin in the back and calls him a disgrace. Chris leaves and Jon Heidenreich comes in with a highlight tape put together by Little Johnny. Austin actually agrees to watch it but Heidenreich panics when Austin asks who Little Johnny is. Now, Austin goes to find a bar but runs into Rosey in the phone booth. Austin decides to forgo the bar because he needs to drink now.

Flair and Orton are ready for the tag match when Henry and Long come in. They’ll go after Goldberg but they’re doing it to his face.

Goldberg/Shawn Michaels vs. Mark Henry/Randy Orton/Ric Flair

Orton and Shawn get things going but Michaels bails to the floor to slug away at Henry. Back in and Shawn takes out both Orton and Flair with the latter wanting Goldberg. Ric gets what he wants, has no luck on offense, and gets to face Michaels again. Orton has some better luck until he tries a forward dropkick which I don’t think was supposed to connect. Shawn didn’t look ready for it and Orton sold it like he crashed off a miss.

Anyway it’s off to Henry to throw Shawn around before Flair comes in for the chop off. A double clothesline allows the hot tag to Goldberg, who slams Henry with ease. The top rope elbow and a dive over the top leave Goldberg alone to spear Henry in half. A really sloppy looking Jackhammer (understandable) is enough for the pin on Mark.

Rating: D. Well at least this one was shorter. Between the Orton dropkick and Goldberg not being able to hit the Jackhammer properly (again, not the biggest criticism), the match was kind of a mess. At least Goldberg got to pin Henry and get us out of that story though and now we can move on to more serious threats. Like Shawn maybe.

Post match Shawn superkicks Goldberg and here’s Bischoff to make Goldberg vs. Shawn for next week.

Overall Rating: D. I think the lack of a pay per view is getting to this show in a hurry. With HHH out, there’s not much for most of these people to do, save for setting up Shane McMahon of all people as the second biggest face on the show. Then there’s Austin attacking Scott Steiner almost out of nowhere and I’m really not sure what the goal is right now, other than getting to Survivor Series. Some of the stuff is ok but so much of it feels like they’re just throwing stuff at the wall to fill in time. It’s certainly not the worst but a lot of this felt like a house show with a budget.

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