Monday Night Raw – March 24, 2003: Overtime with Recaps
Monday Night Raw Date: March 24, 2003 Location: ARCO Arena, Sacramento, California Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
It’s the go home show for Wrestlemania but more importantly we’ll be seeing the first ever Rock Concert with Rock giving us a performance for the ages. Other than that though it’s time for the final push towards Seattle, which likely means we won’t be seeing a lot of wrestling around here for the sake of avoiding a last minute injury. Let’s get to it.
Lillian Garcia sings the National Anthem. That’s quite the celebration for the twelve year anniversary of Wrestlemania VII: Stars and Strikes Forever.
Opening sequence.
Here’s the unscheduled Steve Austin with something to say. He’s really not cool with Rock coming out here last week and giving him a Stone Cold Stunner and a Rock Bottom. Austin isn’t going anywhere until the Rock comes out here (down an aisle as there’s no ramp this week) for a beating. Cue Test and Stacy Keibler with the former saying he just wants to have a match tonight. It’s a Stunner for Test and Stacy runs off as Austin has a seat at ringside.
Lance Storm, who is scheduled to face Test tonight, comes in and covers with Austin counting the two. That means a Stunner for Storm so here’s Eric Bischoff, flanked by cops, to issue a restraining order. After a fairly long time and threats of being shot, Austin finally leaves so Bischoff can plug the Rock Concert.
Jeff Hardy/Trish Stratus vs. Victoria/Steven Richards
The genders have to match. The guys start things off with Richards taking him into the corner, only to get shoved right back out for the legdrop between Steven’s legs. Jeff’s slingshot dropkick sends Richards over to Victoria, meaning it’s off to Trish for the first time. Jeff dives onto Richards, leaving Victoria to hit her spinning side slam. The Stratusphere sets up the Stratusfaction off Richards’ chest for the pin.
Jeff and Trish are about to kiss again when Jazz jumps her from behind.
Coach tells Bischoff that there’s a security issue that needs to be taken care of right now.
Goldust is ready to fight in the tag match tonight and says HHH sounds like a dic….dic….dic….dictator! This STILL isn’t funny.
The security issue is that Austin is still in the parking lot because the restraining order only covers the arena. Bischoff has plans for Austin and threatens to fire Coach if he doesn’t go deal with this.
Scott Steiner vs. Christian
Christian’s gear is extra neon green here, meaning it shines rather brightly when Steiner throws him outside. Back in and it’s the clothesline into the push-ups, followed by multiple reps on a gorilla press. A reverse DDT puts Steiner down for two with the kickout sending Christian flying. Christian gets in a neckbreaker and some choking until Steiner hits the first suplex. Steiner catches him on top with something like a super Angle Slam for the pin.
Rating: D. It’s amazing that Steiner has nothing to do at Wrestlemania but it’s really not surprising. Steiner has become as generic and slow of a power wrestler as you’ll ever find and now he’s going over perfectly acceptable wrestlers like Christian. Thankfully Christian has settled into a fine role as an upscale lackey like Jericho.
Coach tells Austin about Bischoff’s threats but Austin doesn’t say a word. I’m sure the fans who were waiting for Austin to come back are thrilled by watching him sit there stoically.
Wrestlemania Moment: Shawn wins the title.
Morely says that William Regal can’t wrestle at the moment so Morely and Storm are the new champions. It’s about time. WWE officially recognizes this as two reigns for Storm, which is yet another stretch for the titles’ history. Kane and Rob Van Dam come up and want a title shot at Wrestlemania. Morely backs away but agrees to make Van Dam and Kane vs. the Dudleys in a #1 contenders match for later tonight.
Remember when Austin was sitting outside doing nothing? Well now he’s sitting outside and playing with his windshield wipers.
HHH/Ric Flair vs. Goldust/Booker T.
All four get their own entrances to really stretch things out. Goldust, still with the bad arm, start things off and we get the traditional exchange of WOO’s. Some right hands puts Flair down as JR and Lawler go over the history of the Rhodes Family. HHH comes in but Booker does the same, meaning it’s time to slow things way down. A leapfrog into a hiptoss sends HHH into the corner and Lawler is panicking.
Booker kicks him into the other corner so it’s off to Flair, whose chops have no effect again. HHH offers a distraction though and it’s a chop block to put Booker down. Back from a break with Booker reversing Flair’s Figure Four and hitting a few chops to set up the hot tag. Goldust fires away, only to have the bad arm flare up again.
A missed crossbody sends Goldust outside so HHH can send him into the steps and the fresh heat segment begins. HHH offers a distraction so Flair can get in a good low blow and choking as only Ric can do. A neckbreaker gives HHH two and it’s back to Flair, who allows the tag. The referee doesn’t see it of course so HHH has to charge into a boot in the corner for the real hot tag.
Booker comes in to take over, including the hard whip to send HHH sailing over the corner to the floor. Goldust and Flair fight into the crowd as Booker busts HHH open. Flair comes back in and gets caught with a spinebuster for no count as the referee actually remembers who was legal. Get that man a raise! The Pedigree is broken up and it’s a catapult into the post, followed by the scissors kick for the pin.
Rating: C+. The match was long but had the right ending. Unfortunately it’s also the WWE way of saying HHH is going to retain on Sunday, which would be the dumbest idea that WWE could possibly have. I’m sure this now qualifies as HHH putting someone over though, and that’s all he needs to do to be the best of all time right?
Post break HHH is staring at the title while Flair gives him a pep talk.
Here’s Chris Jericho for a chat. Jericho is ready to face Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania but needs to say something to his face right now. This brings out Shawn, with Jericho saying he modeled himself after Michaels for years. Jericho has a video of the two of them side by side, showing how similar they are due to Jericho imitating him.
After all those years of being talked up as the next Shawn Michaels, he wanted to be the first Chris Jericho because he was better than Shawn. Then Shawn left in 1998 and Jericho became the workhorse and backbone of the company. Jericho is ready for Wrestlemania and slaps Shawn in the face. Shawn slaps him back and….that’s it as we cut to a break.
Rock comes in to see Bischoff and has an idea for tonight: put speakers in the parking lot so he can listed to the Rock Concert.
We run down the Wrestlemania card. For some reason this isn’t on the Network version.
Rob Van Dam/Kane vs. Dudley Boyz
The winners get Storm/Morely at Wrestlemania. It’s a brawl to start with Kane taking Bubba into the corner for some right hands. A German suplex puts Kane down and D-Von adds a jumping clothesline, which only seems to annoy the monster. It’s off to Van Dam for Rolling Thunder but D-Von comes right back with a neckbreaker to put both of them down.
The spinning kick to the head drops Bubba and it’s back to Kane and D-Von. Everything breaks down and Bubba hiptosses Van Dam into a neckbreaker (cool spot). Cue Storm to kick D-Von by mistake before being chased off by Bubba. The chokeslam and Five Star send Kane and Van Dam to Wrestlemania.
Rating: D. Nothing match here but they went with the logical ending which should have been obvious the whole time. The ending just makes you think that Bubba and D-Von are about to be back to normal almost immediately, making the last few weeks even more uninteresting and a waste of time than I had previously thought. At least they got to the right ending though.
The speakers are set up next to Austin’s truck.
Here’s Rock for the Concert. Rock has a chair, a music stand and some fancy looking bottled water on a table next to him. He’s glad to be in Sacramento because it means he can be out of here in about an hour. Rock sings about how hideous the women here are and how bad it is to live here. Eh I think I prefer Elias. We see Austin sitting in his truck and shaking his head as Rock makes jokes about the Sacramento Kings.
Now it’s time to sing an Austin version of Hound Dog before suggesting that Austin smokes something funny to go with the beer. Next up it’s a Willie Nelson song about beating Austin up before finishing off with some Frank Sinatra about how much pie he can get. Outside, an ambulance drives in and Austin drives the truck in to follow. Rock panics and demands the security come to the ring, followed by Austin’s truck.
It’s driven by Hurricane though, with Austin hiding in the back of the truck. Rock goes back to singing, allowing Austin to come in and beat up Rock as you knew he was going to do. Austin destroys the guitar as security just stands around watching. This is edited WAY down on the Network, cutting out the better part of five minutes (meaning every time Rock sang anything).
And now, here’s Vince to show us the whole contract signing from Smackdown.
Since this show hasn’t gone on long enough (and it’s already in overtime), we go back to Smackdown to see the Angle brothers demand an apology from Brock Lesnar, resulting in Kurt injuring Brock’s ribs to FINALLY end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. There’s not much to talk about here save for the extra stuff at the end, which was just a commercial for the Smackdown side of things. The few matches we got were nothing special though at least one match was added to the card. As has been the case throughout the build to the pay per view, there’s nothing going on to make me want to see the show. It’s just not good TV building stories that aren’t great either. It could be worse but the HHH vs. Booker stuff has been a horrible second level story for the red show. Another weak show here but that’s normal around here anymore.
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Monday Night Raw – March 17, 2003 (2017 Redo): The Bad Road
Monday Night Raw Date: March 17, 2003 Location: Savvis Center, St. Louis, Missouri Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
We’re less than two weeks away from Wrestlemania and….yeah I’m not really caring that much yet. The show just isn’t looking interesting and I’m not sure how much tonight is going to help. This week’s big attraction is Steve Austin vs. Eric Bischoff II for no apparent reason, though a lack of logic has never stopped WWE before. Let’s get to it.
This show is dedicated to the United States military, who would be heading into Iraq later in the week.
Here’s Bischoff under a spotlight to start things off. He gets straight to the point: tonight’s match with Austin is now a lumberjack match.
Opening sequence.
Chief Morely/Lance Storm vs. Kane/Rob Van Dam
If the Dudleys interfere, they’re fired. Kane shoulders him down to start and hammers away in the corner as JR wants William Regal to get back so they can lose the Tag Team Titles. Rob comes in for his stepover kick to the face and the cartwheel moonsault gets two. A shot shot cuts Rob off and Storm adds a hot shot for good measure. Morely’s spinebuster doesn’t do him much good as Van Dam comes back with an enziguri. There’s the hot tag to Kane to clean house with the top rope clothesline taking Storm down. Morely comes back in for a double DDT but Rob kicks him in the chest. The chokeslam ends Storm.
Rating: D+. Not enough time to mean much here but JR is right: they need to just make Storm and Morely the official champions already as Regal is nowhere to be seen at the moment due to his injury. I’d assume Van Dam and Kane would win the titles at Wrestlemania, or at least that would make the most sense.
Post match here are the Dudleys….to turn heel and put Kane through a table with a 3D.
Back from a break with Morely and the Dudleys in the back. Apparently they sided with Morely and Bischoff because they have families to feed and can’t do that while they’re suspended. They’re not happy with it but they don’t have a choice. That’s shockingly logical and I’m not sure how to handle that.
Here are HHH and Ric Flair with the champ running down Booker T. for attacking him last week. HHH wants Booker out here right now but gets Goldust instead. Lawler: “Booker T. is probably in jail somewhere.” Goldust stands up for his friend….and the whole thing is immediately ruined as Goldust talks about HHH not having it down in the “cock…..cock….cock….COCKLES of his heart.”
HHH and Flair bust out laughing at the whole thing with Goldust’s stutter getting worse and worse. The beatdown is finally on until Booker T. comes in for the save. Booker can’t quite hit the ax kick on Flair as HHH makes the save. This likely sets up a tag match later, but that would be in a place that made sense. I’m betting on HHH squashing Goldust instead.
Post break, HHH is livid and demands to face Goldust later tonight. And there it is.
Maven vs. Rico
Maven grabs an armdrag to start….and let’s cut to the back to see Rock arriving. Back in the ring (Can we go back to watching Rock walk?), Rico hits a kick to the back of the head. Jamal gets in a cheap shot from behind because people need help against Maven. Rico keeps kicking and stomping away as he doesn’t have the most varied offense at this point. We hit the neck crank for a bit but Rico misses a middle rope backdrop. That means a Maven comeback with a middle rope bulldog getting two. Rosey grabs Maven from the floor, which has no effect as Maven gets a backslide for the pin.
Rating: D-. 3 Minute Warning has fallen to the point where they can’t even manage to put Maven away. I’ve seen grub worms that could give Maven a run for his money and now two monstrous Samoans can’t beat him? Rico deserves WAY better than this, though it still might be an upgrade from the stylist stuff. Terrible match of course.
Shawn Michaels goes in to see Austin and tells him that Bischoff has made him a lumberjack tonight. Austin doesn’t really care, nor does he mind that Rock will be a lumberjack too. Every time he and Rock get in the ring together at Wrestlemania, Rock winds up losing. Why should this year be any different?
Rock is walking through the back when he runs into Teddy Long, who hides a WWE Magazine. Rock takes it away and finds…..Hurricane on the cover. Teddy says not to worry because Rodney Mack is dealing with Hurricane tonight. Oh and don’t worry about losing to Hurricane last week because it was just a conspiracy by the man. Rock isn’t pleased and looks kind of surprised when Mack comes up. They’re seeming to have a lot of these filler scenes tonight and that doesn’t bode well.
Wrestlemania Moment: Andre the Giant beats Big John Studd in the Bodyslam Match and throws his winnings to the crowd.
Hurricane vs. Rodney Mack
JR talks about how great Mack has been since he came under Teddy’s guidance, including being undefeated. He had one match a month ago Jim. Hurricane bounces off of him with a shoulder and Mack follows up with a hard shoulder off the middle rope. Mack misses a charge in the corner though and gets caught with a neckbreaker. A high crossbody sets up the Blockbuster but here’s Rock for the DQ because Rodney Mack can’t get pinned.
Rock hits Hurricane low twice and beats him down with a chair.
Trish Stratus/Jazz vs. Victoria/Steven Richards
King gets in two bad lines by saying you can’t see Trish and not have any hard feelings and also referring to Jazz as James Earl Jones Jr. Jazz and Victoria start things off as the announcers aren’t sure why this match is happening, but seem to blame Bischoff’s booking. They take turns whipping each other into the corner before Jazz gets in a dropkick to the back. It’s off to Trish for some forearms and a Chick Kick for two as Richards hasn’t been a factor yet.
An electric chair is broken up and Trish goes face first as King says he’d always hook Trish’s leg. JR: “I’m sure you would tiger.” Richards finally comes in and gets hit low, setting up a hurricanrana out of the corner. Trish avoids the flip legdrop and Richards crotches himself, only to have Jazz walk away from the tag attempt. Richards adds a Sky High and the Widow’s Peak ends this.
Rating: D. I really didn’t like this one but the story has been a mess which has gone on far too long. Victoria is a good heel champion but the lack of depth in the division has caused the story to drag on to the point where it stops meaning anything. They’re also finally fighting over the title at Wrestlemania, but that doesn’t make up for the weeks of trading wins that didn’t advance anything.
Stevie loads up the DDT on Trish but Jeff Hardy runs in for the save. The villains leave and Jeff kisses Trish, who seems both confused and disgusted.
Video on Shawn Michaels putting in the best possible effort at every Wrestlemania. Like at Wrestlemania V, when he was completely hung over.
Chris Jericho says he used to believe in Shawn but now his dream is to end Shawn at Wrestlemania. Christian comes up to say they have a match against Test and a surprise partner next.
Stacy Keibler comes up to Test as he’s reading Raw Magazine. She’ll see him out there for the tag match and leaves. Test is actually looking at Torrie’s Playboy. He has good taste.
Test/Scott Steiner vs. Christian/Chris Jericho
Test charges straight at Jericho to start and elbows him in the jaw. Jericho gets thrown onto Christian and it’s off to Steiner for an Oklahoma Stampede. It’s back to Test who gets taken down by some Canadian double teaming as Lawler makes sex jokes about Stacy. Test shrugs it off without too much effort though and Steiner comes back in for the suplexes. Christian grabs the referee though, allowing Jericho to hit Steiner low.
Scott is fine enough for a belly to belly on Jericho, allowing the tag back to Test. The pumphandle slam gets two on Jericho with Christian making the save. A powerbomb is good for the same sequence and Stacy gets on the apron for no logical reason. Jericho knocks her right into Steiner’s arms, meaning Lawler gets to make jokes about seeing her underwear. The distraction lets Jericho roll Test up for the pin.
Rating: D. The fall of Scott Steiner amazes me. To go from where he was to working with Test in less than a month is remarkable but also completely deserved after how bad those two matches were. The match itself was as good as Jericho and Christian slowing down to Test and Steiner’s level was going to be, though at least the right team won.
HHH vs. Goldust
Non-title with Flair and Booker as the seconds. A right hand to the jaw annoys Goldust and more jabs make it even worse. Goldust’s bad arm (another electrocution casualty) flares up and HHH sends it into the post. It’s time to work on an armbar for a bit before the spinebuster plants Goldust again.
The Pedigree is countered into a rollup for two and Goldust makes his comeback with his usual. HHH sends him outside and Flair gets in some cheap shots until Booker makes the save. Cue Randy Orton through the crowd to break a crutch over Booker’s head, leaving Goldust to load up Shattered Dreams. The affliction cuts him off though, allowing the jumping knee and Pedigree to put him away.
Rating: D. So now Goldust losing to HHH because he was electrocuted is the best thing they have for a rub from HHH? I’ve never been a fan of these two facing off (their Royal Rumble 1997 match is one of my least favorite matches ever) and this was no exception. This wasn’t any good but it was also overbooked and built around a bad story. That’s not a good combination.
Limp Bizkit is excited to perform at Wrestlemania.
Rock is with Bischoff as he warms up and thinks we should have a Rock Concert next week. Bischoff loves the idea and tells Rock he’ll see him out there as a lumberjack. Actually Rock has another idea though: drop the lumberjacks and just make it No DQ so he can interfere freely. So they book a stipulation earlier tonight and then cut it out later in the night? That’s WCW style and that’s about as bad as it gets.
Pay per view rundown. It still doesn’t excite me based on the last few weeks.
Steve Austin vs. Eric Bischoff
No DQ. Bischoff bails to the floor to start and hides behind Chief Morely, who gets taken down with a clothesline. Austin takes him inside and stomps away before grabbing a Boston crab of all things. A low blow from Morely finally gives Bischoff a breather and he chokes on the ropes a bit. Not that it matters as Austin hits a Stunner on Bischoff and tosses Morely, only to walk into Rock’s Stunner. That only gives Bischoff two so Rock comes back and misses the People’s Elbow. A clothesline puts Rock on the floor and the second Stunner ends Bischoff.
Rating: D-. How else can I really rate this? It’s barely a match and they flat out said that there’s only having the match for the sake of Rock interfering to attack Austin. I’m not completely sure why Bischoff set this up for himself in the first place but why bother with logic when you can get to a big ending?
Rock gives Austin the Rock Bottom and steals a beer to end the show.
Overall Rating: F+. I don’t remember a single good thing about this show. Between setting up a stipulation and then canceling it later in the night, the still dull Women’s Title situation, complete with Richards and Hardy being added in for no apparent reason and Goldust being one of the dumbest characters I can remember in a good while, this is completely missing the point as we head towards Wrestlemania. Rock is on the verge of carrying the Raw half of the pay per view on his back but it seems to be too much even for the Great One. Awful show this week as things are actually getting worse.
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This is the biggest news on a very busy news day. I don’t think there’s anything I can say here other than I hope this gets a lot better. Flair has a heart issue brought on by excessive drinking over the years. He’s also currently in a medically induced coma. I’ve had issues with Flair in the past but sweet goodness this doesn’t sound promising.
Summerslam Count-Up – 2006: Why Does This Not Work?
Summerslam 2006 Date: August 20, 2006
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 16,168
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, Joey Styles, John Bradshaw Layfield
This is an interesting show as a lot has changed since last year but WWE is still in the same kind of situation: the shows are coming and going and not a lot is changing. The shows aren’t bad, but there’s nothing that feels like required viewing. This year we have DX vs. the McMahons, Edge defending the Raw Title against Cena, Batista challenging King Booker for the Smackdown Title, Flair vs. Foley in an I Quit match, Hogan vs. Randy Orton and the first ECW Title match in WWE PPV history. The card is stacked but nothing on here feels must see. Let’s get to it.
The opening video is about DX taking over the company with their sophomoric jokes. The other matches get some lip service as well.
Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero
Guerrero claimed that Rey was leeching off the Guerrero name, which he totally was but Guerrero is still playing the heel here. We get videos on Eddie’s relationships with both Rey and Chavo, conveniently ignoring Rey vs. Eddie from last year. Apparently Chavo is coming out of retirement for one night only. The brawl is on fast and JBL is WAY into it already. Chavo hits a quick uppercut and catches a standing Lionsault into a powerslam position, only to have Rey armdrag him out to the floor.
Mysterio misses a plancha to the floor and Chavo hits a big dive of his own to take over. Chavo shouts that it’s his blood instead of Rey’s as JBL calls this the biggest comeback since the resurrection. Rey charges into the corner but Chavo drops him face first onto the buckle to put him down again. Chavo does the Eddie dance, drawing the crowd into the Eddie chant. The masked dude is knocked to the floor and then face first into the buckle to keep him on defense.
Chavo puts him on the top rope and tries to powerbomb Rey to the floor but Rey fights out to avoid death. They facejam each other down to the mat and both guys are in trouble. Back up and Rey gets two off a springboard cross body. A hard kick to the head gets the same for Rey before he hurricanranas Chavo into the 619. The seated senton misses and Mysterio hurricanranas both guys out to the floor.
Chavo takes control and sends Rey back in but here’s Vickie to yell at him. Rey dives off the apron with something the camera misses to take out Chavo and we head back inside. Chavo hits two of the Three Amigos as Vickie is screeching at them to stop fighting. Rey hits the Three Amigos and goes up top but Vickie keeps shouting at him to stop before accidentally crotching him down. Chavo hits a brainbuster and the frog splash for the pin.
Rating: C+. The match was entertaining enough but the bleeding dry of Eddie’s corpse is well beyond old here. Seriously, they were fighting over who was really defending Eddie’s honor. It was fun stuff but the Vickie screeching is getting already getting annoying. She’s been around seven years. How is that possible?
Booker is holding the title with a maniacal look in his eyes. He rants in a British accent for a bit and says he and Sharmell are the most powerful couple in wrestling. This brings in Edge and Lita who just happened to be standing off camera when Booker said that. They debate how important they are and make a wager: if Booker loses he has to be Edge’s servant but if Edge loses he has to kiss Booker’s feet.
This is a good example of what I mean when I talk about the show looking too structured. Why were Edge and Lita right there to respond to those comments? It comes off as so fake and set up in advance that it kills whatever air of realism the show has. Have Booker say they’re the powerful couple, then have Edge and Lita come in later in the show. Same amount of time spent, same result, doesn’t look forced. Why is this so complicated?
ECW Title: Big Show vs. Sabu
Big Show is defending after Sabu beat Van Dam in a ladder match this past week. It’s extreme rules, which is a rarity for these title matches anymore. Sabu starts fast by swinging a chair and gets a quick one count off the Arabian Facebuster. The chair is set up in the middle of the ring but Big Show drops Sabu face first onto the steel. Big Show crushes the chair with his boot and chops Sabu down with ease.
We hit an early bearhug but Sabu pokes the eyes to escape. A springboard is caught in a fallaway slam from Big Show to send Sabu to the outside. The small one grabs a chair to blast Show in the face before dropkicking it into Show’s face. Sabu it too banged up to immediately cover so it’s only a one count. With nothing else working, Sabu loads up a table in the corner and hits a tornado DDT for no cover.
Sabu finally knocks him through the table off a springboard from the chair but Show pops up and electric chairs Sabu down. A Vader Bomb crushes Sabu and Show brings in two sets of steps. He bridges a table across them but his chokeslam is countered into a DDT through the table. Sabu sets up another table but charges into a chokeslam through it for the pin.
Rating: D. I don’t care. Seriously that’s the first thing that came to my head. This was less than nine minutes and the ending was never in double at all. At least a third of the match was spent setting up the next spot, especially near the end. The early days of WWECW with the old ECW guys were just torture to get through as it was clearly trying to recreate magic and it wasn’t anything of note. Dull match here and it would be several months before ECW picked up.
Layla won the Diva Search earlier this week.
The Divas welcome Layla to the company. These stupid girl power segments got old fast. Everyone gets on her and then say they’re all kidding. Layla is dragged into the shower and spanked for her initiation. Everyone is clothed so this goes nowhere.
We recap Hogan vs. Orton. Hogan is a legend, Orton is the legend killer, I think you can do the math. There was a stupid bit with Orton hitting on Brooke thrown in which went nowhere.
Randy Orton vs. Hulk Hogan
Hogan has a bad leg coming in, meaning he’s perfectly normal. Hulk easily shoves Orton down out of lockup to start before running him down with a shoulder block. The bandana goes into Orton’s face before Randy grabs a headlock. Hogan fights out with a top wristlock as we’re still going very slowly so far, much to Hogan’s liking. Randy finally gets in some shots to the face to put Hogan down, thereby making him the biggest heel in the world.
Hogan fights Orton off in the corner and sends him into the buckle. Almost all Hogan so far which continues as Hogan pounds down right hands in the corner. He bites Randy’s forehead and pokes him in the eye to keep us firmly in the mid-80s. Hogan rakes his back and pounds away on the mat before threatening the referee with a right hand. Orton holds the ropes on an Irish whip and pulls Hogan to the mat to work on the knee.
Back in and Orton cannonballs down on the leg before doing a short form of the circle stomp. A chop block puts Hulk down again but he ducks/collapses to avoid a high cross body. Hogan pounds away but misses the big boot, allowing Orton to dropkick him down. The RKO connects for three but Hogan’s foot was on the ropes. Orton argues with the referee, Hulk Hulks Up and the legdrop ends it.
Rating: D. Well let’s see: the booking was out of the 80s, Hogan broke a sweat for maybe a minute, and Orton was pinned clean by a 50+ year old man in about eleven minutes. This is the opposite of last year with Shawn as Michaels didn’t have much to gain from a win. Orton on the other hand could have ridden this win for months, but instead we get Hogan’s last WWE match (which you couldn’t have known at the time) as a tribute to him, complete with the 1985 formula all over again. Not a fan of this but you had to know it was coming.
We look at a big party yesterday which is exactly what you would think it was. This was also the announcement for WWE 24/7, which was nowhere near as cool as it sounded.
Melina isn’t sure if Foley can beat Flair but he freaks out on her, saying he’ll do it. This was an awkward on screen relationship.
Ric Flair vs. Mick Foley
In something else that was kind of awkward, these two traded shots at each other in their books with Foley saying Flair wrestled the same match for years and Flair calling Foley a glorified stunt man. Tonight is an I Quit match and it’s all about respect. Foley jumps Flair in the corner and pounds away before hitting the running knee to the head. A running trashcan shot to the head has Flair in early trouble and it’s already Socko time. Flair won’t give up so Foley says he’ll suffer.
Foley wraps barbed wire around the sock but Flair grabs Mick’s crotch to block it. We’re not even two minutes into this and we’ve already had a crotch grab. A low blow puts Mick down and Flair wraps the barbed wire sock around his hand for some chops. Ric sends Foley knees first into the steps but Foley rams him into the announce table to get a breather. Foley pulls out a barbed wire board and blasts Flair in the back with it to make Naitch scream.
We head inside again and the fans want fire. Flair is busted open (duh) so Foley rubs the barbed wire over the cut for good measure. A barbed wire board to the head and the shoulder have Flair in even more trouble but he tells Foley to kiss something instead of quitting. Foley spreads out the thumbtacks and slams Ric down onto them in a scary looking but perfectly safe spot. Think about it: the tacks are what, half an inch long? All they’re going to go into is fat so while it’ll hurt, there’s no real danger to the spot. It’s like being stung by a bunch of bees.
Anyway Flair still won’t quit so Foley brings in the barbed wire ball bat to cut at Flair’s head even more. Flair hits his second low blow to escape before sending him shoulder first into the post. The ball bat to the shoulder has Foley in big trouble as Ric goes into old school brawler mode. Foley won’t quit so Flair threatens to kill him by cutting out his heart.
A third low blow has Foley on the apron, allowing for Ric to knock him off the apron and onto the concrete. Foley is apparently out cold so medics and Melina come out to check on him. The trainer says it’s over and the bell rings. That’s not good enough for Flair though and he sends Foley back in to rub the ball bat over Foley’s face again. He runs the barbed wire over Mick’s unconscious eyes and Melina throws in the towel to end it. Wait that’s STILL not good enough for Flair because Foley has to say it. Ric threatens Melina with the ball bat and Foley quits to save her.
Rating: B. This was one heck of a bloodbath until Melina had to get involved. I get that they didn’t want either guy to quit but dang man, did we really need Melina out there? Like I said it never was a good fit on screen and would end with Melina screwing over Foley for no apparent reason. Good match, but Flair flat out doesn’t need to be doing this at his age.
Vince, Shane and Armando Alejandro Estrada (Umaga’s manager) make fun of Foley until Vince asks if they have Umaga’s support tonight. Armando says si.
Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. King Booker
Booker is defending and Batista never lost the title, only being stripped due to injury. This is his first major match since December/January. Booker’s wife Sharmell reaches Vickie levels of annoying by saying ALL HAIL KING BOOKER about 18 times on the way to the ring. Feeling out process to start with Booker taking him into the corner and slapping him across the face. Batista easily shoves him across the ring to prove a point as things are starting slowly.
The champion grabs a headlock but completely misses a spin kick, allowing Batista to counter into a powerslam for two. Booker tries to bail with Sharmell but Batista doesn’t even let him get close. Back in and Booker blocks a Batista Bomb by snapping Batista’s neck across the ropes to take over. We hit a chinlock less than four minutes in and the fans aren’t pleased. Back up and Batista hits a sloppy belly to belly suplex for two but Sharmell sends in the scepter for a cheap shot, giving Booker more control.
Booker goes after the arm, which is the injury that kept Batista on the shelf for so long. That makes too much sense though so it’s off to a regular chinlock. Batista finally gets up and crotches Booker on the top before hitting some weak clotheslines. They head to the floor with Booker sending him into the barricade to take over. A missile dropkick gets two on Big Dave but the ax kick misses. Batista Jackhammers him down for two and busts out a full nelson slam of all things. He loads up the Batista Bomb and Sharmell comes in for the lame DQ.
Rating: D. Well at least it wasn’t that long. These two had horrible chemistry together so of course they had two more PPV matches until Batista finally took the title at Survivor Series. The ending sucked, the match sucked, Batista looked as slow as Hogan out there, and the fans were bored by the match. Sounds like it needs a sequel to me.
Post match Batista “destroys” Booker, which translates to him not being able to get him up for a Batista Bomb until Booker clearly pulls himself up. Again, this feud went on for three more months.
Jeff Hardy is coming back tomorrow. Why bother announcing it when you can have a big surprise like that?
DX talks to someone we can’t see. They tell him how much Vince praised Umaga, calling him the REAL monster in WWE. They leave and whoever was in there bangs on the door.
We recap DX vs. the McMahons. This feud started with Shawn vs. Vince but HBK recruited HHH to help him out. DX destroyed a bunch of Vince’s stuff and made fun of him, basically getting on the nerves of everyone over 17 years old.Vince and Shane brought in everyone imaginable to help them but DX dispatched them easily because they’re both Hall of Famers and they were fighting jobbers to the stars. Umaga was the only one who could beat them one on one, making those matches the only interesting parts of the entire feud.
D-Generation X vs. Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon
Vince and Shane head back to the entrance and send out the Spirit Squad as the first line of defense. Superkicks, backdrops and Pedigrees abound, getting rid of the Raw Tag Champions (the cheerleaders) in less than fifteen seconds. DX beat the Spirit Squad about five times in this whole thing but never won the tag titles. I never quite got why.
Next up are Kennedy, Finlay and Regal who do a bit better thanks to Finlay’s club but only last about 40 seconds. Now it’s Big Show to really challenge DX. Why all nine guys didn’t come out at once is never really addressed. The three midcarders take down HHH on the floor, leaving Shawn alone with Show. A cobra clutch backbreaker and the Log Roll knock Shawn silly as HHH is destroyed. Now the McMahons come to the ring and there’s the opening bell.
Vince slams Shawn down to start and it’s off to Shane for some dancing. He peppers Shawn with left jabs and hits a big right cross to puts him down. HHH is still down from a chokeslam through the announce table. Vince comes back in for something like a clothesline to the ribs and fires off elbows in the corner. A double back elbow puts Shawn down and HHH is finally remembering what planet he’s on. Shane of course slides to the floor to knock him down again, which is pretty smart.
Shane hits a backbreaker on Michaels and it’s back to Papa McMahon. There’s a double elbow but HHH is on his feet. Shane, again, wisely baseball slides him onto the other announce table. The McMahons bust out the Demolition Decapitation and the Hart Attack of all things, complete with signature Bret pose. They even hit a bad looking Doomsday Device but Shawn pops up at two and fires off right hands. Vince sneaks in with a shot to the back and down goes HBK again. Shawn scores with a double clothesline and everyone is down.
HHH is back up on the apron and actually takes the hot tag. Adrenaline kicks in and house is cleaned with a high knee and a neckbreaker to Shane. Clotheslines take both McMahons down and there’s a spinebuster for the young one. Shawn drops the elbow on Vince and hits a Cactus Clothesline to take Shane out.
Here’s Umaga to superkick Shawn and hit a quick Samoan Spike to HHH. This brings out Kane as the guy DX was talking to so he can fight Umaga to the back. Shane can only get two on the Game so Vince punches the referee. Shane loads up a Coast to Coast but Shawn superkicks him out of the air. A trashcan shot to Vince sets up Sweet Chin Music and the Pedigree for the pin.
Rating: B-. That’s about as high as they can get and there’s nothing wrong with that. The booking was as smart as you could get since there might not be two guys in the company that could be a legitimate threat to DX in a straight match so making it eleven on two to start was all they could do. The rest of the match is your usual tag team formula match and that’s all they could do here. The fans popped for the ending too so I can’t complain much.
Wrestlemania 23 is in Detroit.
We recap Edge vs. Cena. Edge won MITB last year at Wrestlemania and cashed in on Cena at New Year’s Revolution nine months later. After some title trading with Van Dam and Cena, Edge wound up with the belt on Raw, setting up the one on one showdown here tonight.
Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Edge
Cena is the hometown boy tonight. If Edge gets disqualified he loses the title. Cena charges him into the corner and the booing begins. John pounds away and gets one off a back elbow and a belly to belly suplex. Edge avoids a charge to send Cena shoulder first into the post and out to the floor. It’s kind of early for that spot. Back in and Edge beats on Cena with basic strikes before knocking him off the apron and into the barricade.
Cena makes it back in at nine but Edge immediately drops an elbow on his back for two more. John makes a comeback with right hands as the fans are booing even louder now. A quick fisherman’s suplex gets two on Edge but he sends Cena over the top and out to the floor for the third time. Back in again and Cena misses a cross body to put him down again. Why it puts Edge down as well isn’t clear.
We hit the chinlock for a good while until Cena breaks the hold with pure power. Cena hits a knee to the chest but walks into a big boot for two. Edge goes up top and fights off Cena so he can hit a top rope clothesline for two. Off to a camel clutch but Cena again powers out of it. Both guys are down so Lita sends in a chair. Edge picks it up before throwing it down out of fear in a cute bit. Cena initiates his finishing sequence but the FU is countered into the Impaler for two.
Edge goes up again but has to escape the FU off the ropes into an electric chair but Cena gets two off a victory roll. A middle rope cross body is rolled through into the FU but a Lita distraction makes Cena drop Edge. The champion is sent into his chick and Cena gets a close two off a rollup. A double clothesline puts both guys down until Edge rolls over for two.
The Canadian is up first but the spear is countered into the STFU. Lita tries to come in with the belt but Edge waves her off and gets the rope. The referee has to drag Cena off, allowing Lita to load up brass knuckles on Edge’s hand. Cena grabs the FU anyway but Lita comes in, only to be thrown on top of Edge in a double FU. How that isn’t a DQ isn’t clear but Cena flips her to the mat, allowing Edge to knock him out with the knuckles to retain the title.
Rating: B-. This took some time to get going but the ending was great. Edge winning is an interesting concept and they would go with the same idea next month when Cena beat Edge in Edge’s signature match in his hometown. The match wasn’t all that good though as it felt like they were just killing time until the end, which makes for a dull match.
Overall Rating: C. Right in the middle is about perfect here as there are almost equal amounts of good and bad. The interesting things about this show are the match lengths. Usually there are some very short matches and one or two longer ones. Here there’s only one match under nine minutes and the longest is the main event which isn’t even sixteen. That makes for a show where there’s nothing huge to save the bad stuff and everything is almost equal in length, meaning you can weigh almost everything the same. The show is definitely watchable but skip Booker vs. Batista.
Ratings Comparison
Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero
Original: C+
Redo: C+
Big Show vs. Sabu
Original: C
Redo: D
Hulk Hogan vs. Randy Orton
Original: B
Redo: D
Mick Foley vs. Ric Flair
Original: B-
Redo: B
Batista vs. King Booker
Original: D
Redo: D
Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon vs. D-Generation X
Original: C-
Redo: B-
Edge vs. John Cena
Original: C+
Redo: B-
Overall Rating
Original: C+
Redo: C
Other than Hogan, not a lot changes here. This show pretty much is what it is.
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Monday Night Raw – January 27, 2003 (2017 Redo): The Steiner Shadow
Monday Night Raw Date: January 27, 2003 Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
Eric Bischoff’s time to fix Raw continues to count down but he has a secret weapon: magazine interviews! Yeah that was his big announcement last week: Steve Austin can tell his side of the story in Raw Magazine. I’m going to assume that it leads to an on-screen return but at least it gives us something to talk about other than HHH vs. Scott Steiner, which is still going for some reason as well. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of the end of last week’s show with Scott Steiner getting the first group beatdown at the hands of HHH, Ric Flair, Randy Orton and Batista. I’m sure a name will be coming soon.
Opening sequence.
Booker T. vs. Jeff Hardy
Jeff has been, shall we say, more aggressive and angry lately but he hasn’t pulled the trigger just yet. Feeling out process to start with Booker missing the side kick but scoring with some big chops. Jeff knees him down though and grabs a chinlock as the announcers talk about Bischoff’s potential firing.
I’ve been watching some old 80s stuff lately and this makes me miss the old commentary so much more. Back then the announcers would talk about the match going on like it was the only thing that mattered at the moment while here, it could be anything else other than the match going on in front of them. Booker gets back up and avoids the Whisper in the Wind. The ax kick misses and Jeff drops the legs between Booker’s legs. Now the Whisper connects but Booker grabs the spinning sunset flip out of the corner for the quick pin.
Rating: C-. Not a bad little match here as Booker/Goldust doesn’t seem to be getting the most focus at this point. As much as I wanted to see them get a better push with the Tag Team Titles, HHH is desperately in need of a challenger who can have a competent match and Booker would fill that role very well. It’s also nice to open the show with a match instead of some segment, which isn’t the best way to get a show going on a good note.
Jeff attacks Booker but gets beaten down. That’s quite the heel turn.
Nathan Jones video.
Here’s Steiner for a chat. He thinks HHH orchestrated that whole thing last week so get out here right now. This brings out the champ, with the long blond hair, sunglasses and suit for a look that says “I don’t know how to be Ric Flair”. HHH brags about how awesome he is and agrees to come to the ring….but here are the reinforcements. The team comes after him but Steiner pulls out a pipe and chases them off. Simple idea, but I’m not sure you want to have your new heel stable being chased off in their second appearance together.
Terri interviews D’Lo Brown before his match with Hurricane. Terri: “Now you’ve never been in the ring with a superhero before have you?” Teddy Long goes on a rant about the lack of black superheroes. The only one he knows of is Black Lightning, suggesting that Long doesn’t know much about superheroes.
Hurricane vs. D’Lo Brown
Going back to the complaints about commentary, the announcers talk about black superheroes, which turns into a discussion about Shaft. Brown starts fast with the leg lariat (Is that a super power?) and follows with an abdominal stretch (I’m assuming rest holds are like his yellow sun?). Hurricane grabs a hurricanrana and something like an Edge-o-Matic for two before sending Brown outside. A flip dive seems to hurt Hurricane’s back though and he can’t get a suplex back inside. The Sky High is enough to put Hurricane away.
Rating: D+. The ending with the bad back was a nice touch but the commentary hurt things a lot. Brown and Hurricane are fine enough for a low level heel act but I don’t know how far they’re going to go with the thing. You can also add Hurricane to the list of people who were given titles last year and seemingly gained nothing as a result.
Chief Morely is watching a tape of the end of last week’s Smackdown where Hulk Hogan returned and punched Vince out. Morely thinks that’s going to get Bischoff an extension on the thirty days, which Bischoff calls stupid, as he should be doing. Eric has an idea.
Chris Jericho, who will be facing Steiner next week in a #1 contenders match, is disturbed by hurting that ring post in front of Stacy Keibler last week. Somehow Stacy has a grade 2 concussion and Jericho needs to go address the situation.
Here’s Jericho, in black and white checker pants, to address said situation after a break. He’s concerned about what’s going to happen: he has to face Scott Steiner! While that’s a big deal, he does apologize to Stacy, only to be cut off by Christian. He doesn’t think much of what happened to Stacy because this is a wrestling ring and it was all her fault. JR is at his most offended here as Jericho says the blame should be on Test. If Test was a real man, he would have taken the shot himself. JR: “WHAT???”
Test deserved it after throwing Jericho out of the Royal Rumble but here’s Shawn Michaels to disagree. After making fun of Jericho’s pants, he says a real man would come down and fight Jericho face to face, which is exactly what he’s going to do. Christian helps with the beatdown but Shawn cleans house without too much effort.
Victoria beats on a trashcan with Trish Stratus’ picture on it to get ready for the street fight.
Women’s Title: Victoria vs. Trish Stratus
Victoria (looking especially good here in pink) is defending in a street fight and jumps Trish from behind with a pool cue. Trish is sent into the steps and Victoria stops to pose in the ring. A Chick Kick drops the champ and a clothesline gets two on the floor (street fights and hardcore matches aren’t the same thing but you can’t expect WWE to keep up with something like rules).
Back in and Victoria misses a charge into the post and gets two trashcan lids cracked around her head. Victoria is right back with a catapult into a trashcan in the corner but a Stratusphere gives Trish two. Steven Richards tries a fire extinguisher but hits Victoria by mistake. Richards comes in for the save so Trish kendo sticks him away. Stratusfaction is broken up and Trish is sent into the barricade…for the pin? What a lame ending.
Rating: C+. That ending really hurt things here as they were beating the heck out of each other and looking more polished as almost any hardcore match you would see from this company. It felt like they were actually trying to hurt each other, which is far more than you can say about these matches most of the time. Just find a new challenger though as the feud is really starting to look stale.
Victoria and Richards beat on Trish some more until Jazz returns to get in her own shots. A DDT and STF have Trish screaming and I’m sure we’ll be having a match at No Way Out as a result.
Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. William Regal/Lance Storm
Regal and Storm are defending in a tables match (ladder match according to JR). Bubba and D-Von jump the champs to start and get in some shots with flag poles. Storm gets speared down and send outside in a heap as JR lists off the Dudleys’ record in table matches with the titles on the line since 2000. Well how can you argue with general statistics like that?
The reverse 3D drops Regal and the regular version does the same to Storm but, instead of going for a table, here’s a What’s Up to Regal. It’s table time….but there are no tables present. You can find a small hardware store under there most of the time but we can’t find a single table? Also, ANNNOUNCER’S TABLE anyone?. Morely comes out with a table and says he’s not that stupid. The Dudleys go after him and here are Rico and 3 Minute Warning to lay them out. The beatdown is on and even Spike Dudley’s interference can’t stop D-Von from being powerbombed through the table to retain the titles.
Rating: D. This was a squash until the second half was all about the interference. The problem with the whole evil regime thing is you basically have Val Venis, two Samoans, the most boring Tag Team Champions ever and Rico vs. the Dudleys. Why in the world is that supposed to be interesting? I say supposed to because it certainly isn’t, but WWE is likely going to keep it out there as long as they can.
Video on the recent tour of Asia.
HHH and company come in to see Bischoff about the #1 contenders match but then changes his mind because he’s not worried.
Matt Cappotelli and John Hennigan (looking WEIRD with much shorter hair) are ready for an exhibition. Al Snow comes up to give them a pep talk but EVIL Christopher Nowinski is behind them with an evil smile.
Rob Van Dam is cool with Kane throwing him out of the Rumble. They’re ready to fight HHH and Batista tonight. Rob thinks the chokeslam is cool and then lists off all of his own moves. Kane does Rob’s thumb pose while calling himself the Big Red Machine. These two are a good choice for an upper midcard team, which tends to be the case with Kane more often than not. Not the worst role in the world to have actually.
We recap the Tough Enough 3 finale.
Matt Cappotelli vs. John Hennigan
They both look nervous, not to mention small. Matt headlocks him to the mat to start as Snow watches from ringside. John flips out of a hiptoss and hits a dropkick with a backflip for two. Cue Nowinski to post Snow and stop the match for a speech instead.
Nowinski rants about not winning Tough Enough but here’s Dreamer to chase him off, only to cane the rookies down for not earning the right to be here. I always liked Matt more than John and given that this is being written the day he announced that his brain cancer had returned, this was very bittersweet.
Sean O’Haire tells us not to worry about having a drink or a smoke.
Here’s Eric Bischoff to talk about Austin. We see a clip from Confidential back in June with everyone burying Austin for walking out on the company. There are two sides to every story though and Austin will be telling his side in Raw Magazine. This will includes talking about JR, Debra (recently divorced) and a host of various wrestlers, entirely uncensored. For now though, here’s the Austin Desire video.
Rob Van Dam/Kane vs. HHH/Batista
Kane and Batista start things off with JR already talking about the Austin article. Batista stops a charge with an elbow but eats a jumping clothesline. It’s off to Van Dam for the shoulders in the corner but the backflip lets Batista run him over. HHH comes in and gets kicked in the face as JR and King talk about horses in Oklahoma.
Batista takes Van Dam’s head off with a hard clothesline but Van Dam kicks HHH in the face (again), allowing the hot tag off to Kane. Side slams abound and the top rope clothesline drops Batista. The Five Star doesn’t quite work though, leaving Orton to post Kane. Batista rips the mask off (giving us a pretty clear shot of most of his face), sending Kane up the ramp in shame. The spinebuster and Batista Bomb end Van Dam.
Rating: D. Boring for the most part here with the mask stuff being the only thing of much note. Van Dam and Kane are good options for the jobbers here, though at the end of the day they need to build up SOMEONE other than Steiner for the future. I know Kane and Van Dam aren’t the most interesting people but having them lose in seven minutes isn’t the best way to give us people to fight against the heel faction.
Post match Van Dam gets beaten down until Steiner comes in. That earns him a beatdown from an invading Jericho and then the whole group, with Scott getting some color. HHH and company leave so Jericho slaps on the Walls to end the show.
Overall Rating: C-. They kept this show moving for the most part but the shadow of HHH vs. Steiner and Austin returning for Bischoff’s sake isn’t the best stuff to put on top of the card. Couple that with stuff like D’Lo Brown: Black Superhero and the never ending Tough Enough nonsense and it can make for a tedious show. They managed to make the best of some bad situations though and the show was as watchable as it’s going to get around this time.
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Monday Night Raw – January 20, 2003 (2017 Redo): THAT MAN HAD A DOCTOR’S NOTE!!!
Monday Night Raw Date: January 20, 2003 Location: Dunkin’ Donuts Center, Providence, Rhode Island Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
We’re past the Royal Rumble and, somehow, the big story still seems to be HHH vs. Scott Steiner for reasons of general torture. After Steiner showed why he shouldn’t be allowed to wrestle a watermelon farmer in front of a pair of chickens named Dolores and Walter, it’s pretty clear that he’s getting a rematch next month at No Way Out. Let’s get to it.
We open with the Martin Luther King Jr. Day video. Vince always gets this one in and maybe we can have a D’Lo Brown match to celebrate.
The opening recap looks at Vince McMahon telling Eric Bischoff that he has thirty days to turn the show around or he’ll be replaced by Shane McMahon.
Opening sequence.
Here are HHH and Ric Flair to open things up. The announcers immediately start talking about how awesome last night’s match was, likely with Vince screaming in their ears the whole time. JR even mentions the most terrifying word in the world: REMATCH. I mean, I thought/hoped I was imagining it when he said HHH had “no way out” last night but I probably need to see my therapist more. Granted when the match put me in therapy in the first place (Which CAN NOT be blamed on Steiner of course. That would just be lunacy.), it kind of defeats the purpose.
HHH talks about how physical the match was last night but at the end, Steiner had to use a sledgehammer to save himself. As they say in the movies, “there ain’t gonna be no rematch.” Apollo didn’t say “there” you nitwit. Get your Rocky quotes straight. Cue Steiner to say he wants his rematch tonight, despite taped ribs. Are those from carrying HHH last night? I mean, that WHOLE THING was HHH’s fault and nothing can be blamed on anyone else so we’ll go with that theory.
HHH has a note from his doctor (An apology for the match perhaps?) and can’t wrestle tonight so Flair says Batista can do it instead. As I desperately scramble to find that therapist’s number, Batista comes out for a distraction so HHH can jump Steiner to little avail. Scott cleans house, despite a minor misstep where they looked to be on the wrong page (HHH’S FAULT!!! HHH’S FAULT!!!).
Rob Van Dam vs. Jeff Hardy
Imagine the pre-match prep talk. I feel string would be discussed in thorough detail. Jeff starts with a jawbreaker and a running dropkick puts Rob on the floor. The barricade run doesn’t work as Rob kicks the leg out, followed by more kicks back inside. The announcers start talking about Chris Jericho in the Rumble for no apparent reason as Jeff gets two off the Whisper in the Wind. Van Dam grabs a Regal Roll and hits a middle rope moonsault, only to miss the Five Star. A Codebreaker of all things sets up the Swanton for two, followed by Rob grabbing a backslide for the pin.
Rating: C. The match had the noticeable slips that you would expect from these two but it worked well enough with Jeff not being able to win even with his best move. If nothing else it was cool to see what would become a famous move later on used as something basic here. It’s not like Jericho invented it but it’s still weird to see so long ago.
Post match Jeff snaps and grabs a chair but throws it down before the swing.
Christian and Christopher Nowinski offer Bischoff good luck with his remaining twenty one days to turn Raw around. I know WWE doesn’t think much of its fans, but I think they know that thirty minus seven isn’t twenty one. This always made me shake my head back in the day and I still don’t get it now. If they just had to set it up to end on Raw, just set it up as four weeks from tonight instead of thirty days, which made the whole thing confusing. Anyway, there’s going to be a bombshell announcement later tonight.
Steiner runs into Randy Orton, who talks about Steiner wanting to be World Champion. Steiner, ever the crazy man, attacks Orton, which threatens his 95% healed shoulder. Dude DON’T MESS WITH HIS MATH SKILLS! Some threats leave Orton shaken.
Chief Morely has Nick Patrick watch the ending to the Tag Team Title match. Patrick admits his mistake but Morely wants a public apology. As opposed to one on national television.
Here are Morely and Patrick for said apology. Patrick gladly does so, but Morely wants the decision reversed. In one of the most laugh inducing lines ever in WWE, Patrick says it’s company policy that all referee decisions are final. That’s bad even by WWE standards. Morely calls out the Dudley Boyz, who point out that Morely brought the knuckles into the ring in the first place. Morely demands the titles be handed over but Bubba won’t give them to a washed up ex-adult star. It’s almost table time but William Regal and Lance Storm run in for the save. Bubba gets flapjacked through the table and Morely says let’s have a title defense.
Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Lance Storm/William Regal
Storm and Regal are challenging and win the titles in less than fifteen seconds.
To clarify, Booker T. and Goldust can’t keep the titles for a month but we can do two title changes in twenty four hours. There’s no real reason to have Booker and Goldust lose the belts in the first place when you could have had them defend against Storm and Regal at the Rumble and then do this same angle tonight. Why do that though when you can get two more reigns out of it though, thereby making the titles seem even weaker than they already are?
Trish Stratus/Hurricane vs. Steven Richards/Victoria
The genders have to match. Hurricane armdrags Richards down to start but Victoria tags herself in and slaps Hurricane in the mask. The threat of a chokeslam brings Richards back in as the rules are thrown out less than a minute and a half in. Trish comes in and they botch what I think was going to be an electric chair but turned into Trish sitting on the back of Victoria’s head. Victoria misses the slingshot legdrop and it’s off to Hurricane but the referee didn’t see the tag. Trish almost takes the StevieDT but Hurricane makes a save. Stratusfaction ends Victoria, likely setting up another title match. This was a mess.
Bischoff talks to Vince’s secretary and again promises a big surprise so Vince should turn the show on. WWE just admitted that the boss, the owner of the company, and the most important man in the wrestling world ISN’T WATCHING HIS FLAGSHIP SHOW. That sums up so many problems in one line. Bischoff throws a dart at a picture of Shane McMahon on a dartboard to really emphasize the idea.
Same Sean O’Haire video from last night.
Here’s Bischoff for his big announcement. We see a clip of Steve Austin being named Raw Superstar of the Decade but not being invited to the ceremony. Bischoff says Austin wasn’t there because he walked out on Vince McMahon. We’ve heard Vince and JR’s sides of the story so maybe we should hear from Austin. Eric is going to give him the chance to tell his side…..IN RAW MAGAZINE!
That’s not the big announcement though (thank goodness). Instead, Bischoff is inviting Austin to return at No Way Out. How does that change Raw though? As in Bischoff’s whole assignment. Eh I’m sure it makes sense in WWE’s mind, which is all that matters. It’s not like the fans can make sense of all these brilliant ideas (Want to know what happened? GO BUY THE MAGAZINE!) so take what you can get.Oh and the pay per view is further than 21 days away. In theory he could be safe if he signs Austin back before then, but just say “you have until No Way Out” and this isn’t an issue.
3 Minute Warning vs. Goldust/Booker T.
JR calls them 3 Count and, while discussing Test vs. Chris Jericho (which is being treated as a major match for some reason), says Jericho eliminated Shawn Michers last night. Goldust and Jamal get things going but it’s off to Booker before anything goes anywhere. A very hard clothesline turns Booker inside out and all hope is lost.
Back up and Booker superkicks his way back into hope as the match is being ignored for the sake of talking about Austin (fair enough at this point and it’s not like Booker and Goldust seem to be going anywhere anytime soon). Jamal breaks up Shattered Dreams and runs Goldust over to hit the neck crank.
Back up and Jamal misses a charge into the corner so Booker can come in to clean house. A double DDT drops the Samoans and it’s time for the Spinarooni (With a crowd reaction shot. As in one. On the whole show. Not seventeen per match.) but Jamal superkicks Booker down. Jamal misses a top rope splash (his toes might have grazed Booker if he had “connected”) and the ax kick puts him away.
Rating: D+. This could have been a lot worse but they’re not even trying to hide the fact that Booker T. and Goldust are done with the title picture. I have no idea why the company felt the need to immediately move to the Dudleys, who have done this time after time before. It’s not like the upcoming HHH vs. Booker feud needed to be started this early so why not get a little more mileage out of the team?
Video on Chris Jericho’s Royal Rumble performance until Shawn Michaels ran back in, allowing Test to eliminate him.
Chris Jericho vs. Test
Jericho, with a heck of a knot on his head from a Tommy Dreamer cane shot, complains about having his dream stolen. Test sends him over the top for some cat skinning, only to follow up with a gorilla press drop. Jericho grabs a belly to back suplex and we hit the chinlock. Stacy plays cheerleader (playing to her natural skills) and gets Test to his feet for a side slam. The big boot misses so Test backdrops him to the floor. Test gets posted and Jericho grabs a chair, which he uses to hit the post, which Stacy was standing behind. Naturally this is equal to shooting Stacy dead and the match is thrown out.
Rating: D. Most of that is due to the horrible ending, which we’ll get to in a minute. The rest of the match was Test doing his really standard power offense and still having no reason to care about him because his big thing is a great looking manager who does lame jokes. This really isn’t interesting and that’s not the biggest surprise in the world.
Stacy gets taken out on a stretcher while Test shows off his acting skills. She didn’t get hit in the head and Jericho didn’t hit her. Unfortunately this is going to lead to the Owen Hart voices because this story needs to be all serious instead of something rather bad looking. I get what they’re going for, but it’s kind of hard to get interested in a story where someone hit a post and damaged the woman who does the Testicles jokes.
Al Snow plugs the Tough Enough finale.
Stacy is still being taken out. They show the worst replay imaginable, which shows the chair hitting the post, which Stacy’s HANDS are touching with her head at least six inches away.
Flair gives Batista a pep talk.
Tommy Dreamer vs. D’Lo Brown
Singapore Cane match. Before the match, Brown brings out Teddy Long to say that D’Lo isn’t going to be one of Dr. King’s followers because a lack of aggression never got him anywhere. Last night, Brown was held out of the Royal Rumble and tonight THE MAN has him in this violent match. Starting tonight, the WWE has to be down with the Brown. D’Lo: “Free at last, free at last, free to cane a white boy’s a**!”
Dreamer immediately starts caning away but hits the post by mistake. Brown was a few feet away but there’s no stretcher brought out. I smell racism. D’Lo canes him a few times, then Dreamer canes him a few times. Tommy hits D’Lo’s head shaking legdrop and a DDT, only to dive into a cane to the ribs. The Sky High (the Low Down according to the way off JR) gives D’Lo the pin.
Rating: F. This was as good as a suddenly racist D’Lo Brown and Tommy Dreamer caning each other for three and a half minutes was going to be. Long is a big improvement for the angle but there’s only so much he can do with something this stupid. There was no reason for this to be a cane match but at least Brown won.
Batista vs. Scott Steiner
It’s a power match to start (I’m as shocked as you are) with Steiner winning a battle of shoulders. Scott hammers away in the corner and actually uses a belly to belly. I’d have bet on that one being banned. It’s so offensive that Randy Orton runs in for the DQ.
Steiner beats up Flair but Batista breaks up the Recliner. HHH comes in as well and beats Scott down (JR: “WHAT ABOUT THE NOTE FROM THE DOCTOR???”) with the help of his new buddies. Steiner is busted open and Pedigreed, drawing a face pop. The new team (no name yet) poses to end the show.
Overall Rating: F+. This was horrible and it’s getting clearer and clearer every single week that something really needs to change around here. Above all else, bring back the Intercontinental Title. These matches are just coming and going because there’s nothing for most of them to fight over. They’re just filling in time with nothing feuds and stories (D’Lo Brown, Test, Hurricane vs. Richards, Booker T./Goldust and so on) because HHH can only fight one guy at a time.
Other than that though, you barely have any good wrestling and now we’re setting up for No Way Out which will feature a rematch of one of the worst matches ever and Steve Austin, who was a shell of himself eight or so months ago and could be even worse now. On top of that, you know it’s a bad time when your top face can’t be trusted to go two minutes in the main event of Raw. This show is in a massive need of a shot of blood or anything for that matter, but I don’t see it happening anytime soon.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Monday Night Raw – August 29, 2005: Believe It Or Not
Monday Night Raw Date: August 29, 2005
Location: St. Pete Times Forum, Tampa, Florida
Attendance: 8,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman
This is another request and I’m assuming it’s due to a certain grudge match. We’re eight days removed from Summerslam 2005, which means we’re dealing with WWE Champion John Cena (shocking I know) vs. evil boss Eric Bischoff. Cena is on a hot streak though, having vanquished Chris Jericho last week, sending Jericho off to fired land. Let’s get to it.
We recap Jericho’s loss last week, which is one thing WWE is great about: they get you up to date on the top story so no one comes in confused or lost. Anyway, after getting rid of Jericho, Bischoff brought out the fired up Kurt Angle as the next boss battle.
Opening sequence.
We’ll open up with Carlito’s (Intercontinental Champion) Cabana, which will be replacing the Highlight Reel. Carlito gets right to the point and brings out his guest Shawn Michaels, who is in a suit for some reason. We hear about how much Carlito respects Shawn, who isn’t sure if there’s that much to admire about him. Carlito looked up to Shawn and now Shawn can look up to him. Shawn: “EASY THERE!”
After everything he’s been through in the last month (dealing with Hulk Hogan), he can’t deal with any more ego. A HOGAN chant starts up but Shawn says “until he needs another payoff, he ain’t coming back.” I know he lost the match but score one for Shawn. As for Carlito, the reason people are still talking about Shawn’s matches is because Carlito hasn’t had any great ones. The man makes the title so when is the last time Carlito even defended the belt?
Carlito doesn’t want to hear it and talks about a pecking order around here with him way at the top and Shawn all the way at the bottom. Shawn gives a funny reaction as Carlito loads up the apple. Actually never mind as Carlito brings out Chris Masters for the Master Lock Challenge. Cue Masters as Shawn says he should know better than to get himself into these messes after twenty four years. Carlito grabs a DDT but here’s Ric Flair for the save.
Post break Bischoff postpones the Master Lock Challenge until next week and replaces it with a tag match.
Big Show vs. Buck Quartermain/Steve Madison
Show tosses them around, does the chops in the corner, throws them into the air a bit, suplexes both guys at once and finishes with a double chokeslam. This was what it was.
Post match Snitsky comes in and lays Show out with the bell.
Here are Torrie Wilson and Candace Michelle as full on eye candy. Last week they initiated Ashley Massaro so tonight they want to apologize to her. Cue Ashley, who is labeled a tomboy for some reason, and gets to hear Michelle’s amazing acting abilities. Ashley, the rookie and therefore stupid, accepts the apologies and gets a match as a reward.
Victoria vs. Ashley Massaro
Widow’s Peak, thirty seconds.
Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch are coming. They were the best team in another horrible stretch for the tag division. If nothing else, I miss these vignettes. They’re in a bar and Murdoch is angry, which Cade says is him having a good day. This took less than a minute and told you quite a bit about the characters: Cade is a smooth talker with Texas charm and Murdoch is a bar fighting redneck. You immediately know what you’re getting and have a bit of a connection to the guys when they debut instead of learning about them on the fly. Why can’t we get more of these, which have no budget and are really effective?
Edge is listening to Alter Bridge (sitting around him) when Todd Grisham interrupts. When asked about Lita’s whereabouts, Edge says she’s running an errand. Edge is ready to finish Matt Hardy in a street fight.
Matt is getting ready when Lita comes up and hits on him. She’s spent a long time warming Edge up and unzips the jacket to reveal basically a scarf covering her chest. Lita asks Matt how it feels to know he’ll never experience this again. Matt really doesn’t seem to care and promises to destroy Edge tonight. If that means he goes down too, so be it. Matt looked REALLY intense here and this worked.
Someone has attacked Flair (he’s COVERED in blood for a great visual) and he’s likely out of tonight’s main event. Shawn thinks it was Masters and Carlito and, believe it or not, this DIDN’T lead to Flair turning heel, but rather him beating Carlito for the Intercontinental Title.
Edge vs. Matt Hardy
Street fight as they continue the VERY hot feud based on Lita leaving Matt for Edge in real life, which set up one heck of a story when Matt returned to go after him. Edge is in jeans and Lita is in….well not much actually. They lock up to start and thankfully that’s the end of the wrestling as they fight out to the floor and into the crowd. Matt blasts him in the head with a trashcan lid as Lawler suggests that Lita is called the previously enjoyed companion.
Back from a break with Matt unloading with right hands and blocking a spear with a trashcan lid. The big legdrop (minus the required yodeling) off the ladder gets two but Edge is up (way too fast) with a kendo stick to the ribs and a flapjack into a ladder. Now it’s Edge’s turn to hammer away until Matt grabs a DDT onto the steps.
Lita finally offers a distraction so Edge can jump him from the back, only to have Hardy win another slugout. The moonsault hits ladder though and Edge hits him in the head over and over. They fight up the ramp with Matt taking over but not being able to powerbomb Lita off the stage. Instead it’s a Side Effect to Edge into the electrical equipment, meaning the big sparks display gives us a no contest.
Rating: B. It was a physical brawl but the ending hurts it a bit as we’re stuck waiting on the other big match between these two. The hard hitting helped a lot it’s pretty clear that Matt isn’t on Edge’s level for the long term and he needs to get in what he can while this lasts. It’s an entertaining fight but the ending really didn’t do either of them any favors. Instead of this really meaning anything, it’s just something they did for about twenty minutes before they have their next match. If you have this kind of a brawl, it should probably advance the story a bit instead of feeling like a pit stop.
And now we get all serious with Lawler and Coach going up to help on them as the medical stuff goes through a break. JR doing his Owen Hart voice doesn’t help either. We hit a bunch of recaps while Edge looks terrified about how injured he might be.
After another break, here’s Cena for a chat. Everything’s been going crazy with 50 Cent swearing at the VMA’s and then last week he got attacked by a red white and blue Tasmanian devil. That’s the bad news. The good news though is he just saved a bunch of money on his car insurance. Even Lawler admits that was a funny joke.
All that matters now though is that THE CHAMP IS HERE. Angle might be the #1 contender but Cena has never backed down from a fight in his life. This brings out Angle to say Cena doesn’t want any of him. We see a clip of last week’s attack but Angle says he’s not risking his title shot. Angle lists off his amateur credentials and says he wants the title more than anything else. He doesn’t care about anyone and tells Cena to shut up.
Cena starts to think he’s in over his head because Angle might be the baddest man alive. Eh screw it though because he’s still calling Angle out. Kurt won’t go so Cena brings up Angle attacking from behind. Therefore, Cena is willing to turn his back on Angle to get his hands on him and the fight is on. A quick ankle lock is broken up and Angle bails from a VERY fired up Cena.
Tyson Tomko vs. Rosey
Tomko’s big boot has been destroying jobbers on Heat. Rosey is one half of the Tag Team Champions….and gets knocked out by the big boot in less than a minute.
Hurricane is knocked out as well because WWE is really stupid about their champions. And no, Tomko wasn’t part of the team that took the belts from them.
We look back at Carlito’s Cabana and Flair being assaulted.
Shawn Michaels vs. Carlito/Chris Masters
Officially a handicap match. Carlito gets things going and the threat of a drive into the corner sends Shawn running. Shawn doesn’t seem to mind fighting them both as he chops away and punches Carlito out to the floor. Back in and Carlito gets in some left hands to the jaw as they’re still firmly in first gear.
The double teaming takes over on Shawn, who makes things even worse by missing a charge into the post. A swinging neckbreaker puts Carlito down for a bit and Masters is backdropped to the floor as we take a break. Back with Shawn hitting the flying forearm (flying burrito according to JR) on Carlito and nipping up as only he can.
Masters breaks up the superkick though and the heels take over again. This is certainly getting some time, which isn’t the worst thing in the world. Carlito whips him into the corner for two (A cover off an Irish whip? Really?) and it’s off to Masters for a long form backbreaker.
Shawn’s arm actually falls twice with his back bent over Masters’ knee until he punches his way out. The Masterlock doesn’t work as Shawn grabs a DDT to put both guys down. Cue a bloody Flair to take the tag (because this is a tag match again) and house is cleaned until Carlito hits Ric low. The Masterlock finishes the bloody Flair.
Rating: C+. Not terrible actually but Ross treating this like some major, game changing win for Masters and Carlito doesn’t quite fit. It’s a big win but this isn’t going to turn them into the best heels in the world or anything. Is there a reason they’re not the Tag Team Champions? They’re beating Flair and Shawn while the champs are getting squashed by Tomko. That should be a layup idea but for some reason WWE doesn’t get it.
Overall Rating: D+. There were five matches on this show and three of them were too short to rate. The stories are starting to have some potential and I’d be curious to see what they have for Unforgiven but this was only a short step on the way there. Edge vs. Hardy is more flashy than good and while Lita is always a blast at this point, it’s still not enough to make this a great show.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Smackdown Date: June 29, 2007
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield
This is an interesting show as it’s just after Chris Benoit’s death but now the real story has come out and WWE looks kind of bad after Monday’s tribute show. I mean, of course they should have immediately assumed a man snapped and murdered his family because that’s the natural line of thought. It’s back to storylines tonight so let’s get to it.
We open with Vince McMahon talking about how they’ve found out what happened with Benoit and how there will be no mention of his name save for these comments. Instead, tonight is dedicated to the memories of everyone affected by this incident. And that’s the last you’ll hear of Benoit on WWE TV. It’s also edited off the Network but that has to be expected.
Opening sequence.
Ric Flair vs. Carlito
This is a mostly if not all interpromotional show as they were planning another Benoit tribute and then everything changed. Flair used to mentor Carlito but Carlito felt he was entitled to whatever he wanted. Chops and right hands have Carlito in trouble but he gets in an awkward looking dropkick in the corner. A better dropkick gets two and they head to the corner for more kicks and chops.
Carlito starts in on Flair’s damaged ribs and JBL actually talks about what it means to not be able to breathe in the ring. Six left hands in the corner (not ten for no apparent reason) give Carlito two and it’s off to a bodyscissors as the crowd is trying to stay in this one. Ric comes back with chops and JBL is already bowing down as much as he can. The Figure Four makes Carlito tap without too much effort.
Rating: C-. Just a match here with Carlito working on the injured body part to keep Flair in trouble but losing to the better man at the end. I never got the appeal of Carlito and Flair didn’t do much for me around this time but at least the was entertaining enough while it lasted. Above all else though it made sense and that’s arguably more important.
Lance Cade vs. Matt Hardy
Their teams are feuding over Cade’s (and Trevor Murdoch’s) Tag Team Titles. Feeling out process to start with Cade getting in an early dropkick before starting in on the arm. The announcers talk about how Cade is similar to JBL and how Matt has matured in the last year (pick which one you want to make fun of more) as Matt gets in a few shots to take over. A sitout spinebuster plants Matt though and gives the rather dull Cade two.
We hit an abdominal stretch (Cade: “ASK HIM!” No wonder Jericho mentored him later.) for a bit before Cade just BLASTS HIM with a clothesline. JBL says he won a World Title with a clothesline, which makes me believe that his title reign was so boring that even he doesn’t remember how he won the belt. Cade gets two more off a superplex but gets caught in a very quick Twist of Fate to give Matt the pin.
Rating: D+. It felt like they were ready to push Matt if they could find the right spot but it just never came together for a variety of reasons. He was about to start in on the US Title feud with MVP but it took WAY too long to get to the payoff. Hardy gave Cade a lot here though and that should be good for Lance going forward.
We look at Judgment Day 2007 with Edge beating Batista to retain the Smackdown World Title.
Michelle McCool likes frolicking on the beach in a bikini. She got SO much better as part of Laycool.
Cruiserweight Title: Chavo Guerrero vs. Jamie Noble vs. Funaki
Chavo is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Noble and Funaki are just kind of hanging around at this point but Jamie is more serious than usual for an upgrade. Jamie gets sent into the corner to start but pops back up to kick Funaki in the face. The slow pace picks up a bit with Chavo sunset flipping Jamie who sends Funaki flying with a release German suplex. Jamie and Chavo are sent outside for a big dive from Funaki, followed by a bulldog on Jamie for good measure. Not that it matters as Chavo comes back in and grabs the Gory Bomb to retain.
Rating: C-. Not terrible here but the match had no heat and was just kind of there for the sake of getting one of Benoit’s friends on the show (nothing wrong with that). Funaki and Jamie were WAY past their peaks as title contenders at this point though to be fair, WWE didn’t exactly try to hide it.
Edge storms into Vickie Guerrero’s (acting for Teddy Long, who is getting ready to get married) office looking for Teddy. He doesn’t want to face Batista tonight but calms down a bit when he finds out it’s non-title. Edge will compete under protest tonight. Vickie really hadn’t found her stride yet.
Jesse and Festus are happy to be coming to Smackdown.
Deuce N Domino vs. Cryme Tyme
Non-title and interpromotional again. Domino and JTG start things off with the latter scoring off a middle rope leg lariat. Shad slams JTG onto Domino (now with a very bloody nose) for two and it’s off to Deuce to take over. A cobra clutch goes nowhere so it’s back to Shad for the power displays. Cherry (Deuce’s cousin) offers a distraction though and Shad gets rolled up for the pin.
Rating: D. I liked Deuce N Domino but this was a really boring match with nothing interesting going on. There’s nothing to see here (save for Cherry) and that’s one of the major issues with this show: matches with no stories and no reason for them to be fighting isn’t the most intriguing stuff in the world.
Cryme Tyme is way too smiley after losing like that.
Post break Deuce N Domino are in the ring so Cryme Tyme steals their car and promises to take it to a chop shop.
MVP vs. Kane
Non-title (MVP is US Champion) again. Kane easily powers him out of the ring and you can see the fear on MVP’s face. Back in and MVP thinks better of it before bailing outside again. MVP goes for the arm and actually has some success before going after the leg. According to commentary, Kane’s entire career is built around the big boot. That’s one of those lines that makes so little sense that I don’t even want to try to figure it out. Kane makes his comeback with a running clothesline and the side slam, followed by the top rope clothesline. The chokeslam gives Kane the clean pin.
Rating: D. Not only was it boring, but Kane didn’t even use a big boot to win! I’VE NEVER SEEN THIS BEFORE! Nothing to see here, but that’s not the biggest surprise in the world here given that they only had a few minutes and the champion lost clean. Kane wouldn’t win the title so it’s not like this meant anything.
Video on Vengeance, which is a completely forgotten show for all the wrong reasons.
Eugene is glad to be on Smackdown but his debut match is against Great Khali.
Victoria and new Smackdown talent Mickie James get in an argument over who is wilder. To prove her wildness, Victoria promises to kiss whomever comes out of a door next. It’s Howard Finkel so we’ll skip him and move on to…..Jim Duggan. Jim leaves before any kissing can ensue so Mickie takes Victoria’s place. She ignores Big Dick Johnson until Ron Simmons comes up for the catchphrase. That was one of the dumbest segments I’ve ever seen, which covers a lot of ground.
Mickie James vs. Victoria
Mickie looks GREAT here. It’s a wrestling sequence to start until Mickie gets in a crossbody for the first major offense. Victoria crotches her on top though and ties Mickie up in the Tree of Woe for some hair pulling. The torture rack into the spinning side slam gets two but Mickie gets a hurricanrana out of the corner. Victoria breaks up the MickieDT but misses a moonsault. A quick rollup gives Mickie the pin in what felt like an audible.
Rating: C+. It’s amazing what happens when you have two talented women who are working hard, even in a short match. The Smackdown women were basically left alone and allowed to actually wrestle instead of all the nonsense going on over on Raw. It’s not a great match or anything but it was fun while it lasted, even with the odd ending.
Great Khali vs. Eugene
Tree slam for the pin in less than forty five seconds.
Batista says that he’ll settle for punishing Edge if he can’t have a title shot.
Edge vs. Batista
Non-title. Edge hides in the ropes for the first minute or so until he starts kicking at the knee. Batista switches things up with a single leg takedown of all things before throwing on a Brock Lock. A knee crusher sets up a half crab on the champ as Batista has an interesting definition of punishment. Edge tries a low blow but Batista grabs the hand so we keep going. Batista’s running forearm knocks Edge into the barricade and we take a break.
Back with Edge getting in a shot to the back and snapping the neck across the top rope. We hit the cravate as the announcers bicker about Edge never pinning Batista…..except for that one time, which makes Cole sound even dumber than usual. Batista comes back with a spear and side slam as we’re just waiting on what’s likely to be a clean fall over the champ. A spinebuster counters Edge’s spear and the Batista Bomb gives Batista (in case that wasn’t clear) the pin.
Rating: C+. As soon as this was announced as a non-title match, you pretty much knew the ending from there. Edge is the kind of guy who can bounce back with a promo or doing something sleazy so it’s not the biggest problem in the world, though it’s still rather annoying. Either that or he’ll just get hurt again and vacate the title, which wound up happening less than a month after this.
Overall Rating: D+. Totally nothing show here but that’s the case with something like this. There isn’t a really good match on the card and certainly nothing worth going out of your way to see. The real problem here is the lack of storylines (and the two singles champions losing clean) as that’s just not enough to carry a show. Skip this one as it’s not even worth the (incredibly limited) historical value.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Went to Axxess Again (And I Actually Used My Camera!)
This was my fourth Axxess and my first on Thursday night, which is the opening session. The layout is roughly the same every year and there’s really no difference in the way the rooms look in any given year save for where stages are. I only did General Admission this year after a VIP session last year and honestly, it’s not that big of a difference unless there’s someone you REALLY want to meet.
For the sake of simplicity, I’ll put all the pictures up at the end.
As is always the case, getting in was a nightmare as the doors were supposed to open at 6pm and the line didn’t start moving until around 6:15. From what I’ve heard, General Admissions were allowed in BEFORE VIP this year, which defeats a big purpose of buying VIP in the first place.
As usual, almost no one knew who was going to be where so you either pick a line and hope for the best or find one of the booths with a sign. The first line I saw had Eve Torres but since I’m meeting her at WrestleCon, I went with Eric Bischoff instead. The line took about 30 minutes, which is a near record for Axxess. Bischoff was a nice guy with a big smile on his face. I told him I wanted to punch him in the face every week he was on WCW and he said that was the whole point. The more I hear/read from Bischoff since he left the business, the more I like him. He really does seem to have mellowed since leaving and that’s great.
Now this was when things got a bit tricky. Word on the street was that HHH, Sting, Shawn Michaels and a host of others would be at this Axxess session unveiling a statue for Ric Flair (there’s one made every year with Bruno Sammartino, Andre the Giant and Dusty Rhodes as the previous names) in a special ceremony. However, no one had any idea about this and since I didn’t want to get in any other line, I kind of walked around and took in some of the other sights.
Aside from Bischoff and Torres, there were booths for Apollo Crews, Curtis Axel (I think)/Mojo Rawley, Ron Simmons/Teddy Long, Jacqueline (her line was almost non-existent), Booker T. (inside the Elimination Chamber), Miz/Maryse (possibly the longest line all night), Bobby Roode/Austin Aries (a close second in length), the Usos and Michael Hayes/Jimmy Garvin (FAR shorter than it should have been).
During the show there were also in-ring matches over at the mini NXT arena. These were mostly cruiserweight matches, though I could see some of Ruby Riot vs. Kimber Lee while waiting in the Bischoff line. Alundra Blayze also appeared and I believe did a Q&A though I couldn’t hear anything asked.
I took in the museum and MY GOODNESS I could spend hours in there. It’s basically a bunch of old photos and gear from wrestlers, mainly focusing on this year’s Hall of Fame inductees and a handful of others. Of course there’s also a section about Wrestlemania with a huge (as in over 6′ tall) poster of each event (these wrap around one wall and most of another).
One of the coolest parts was a collection of memorabilia from Wrestlemania III, including Harley Race’s robe, Andre’s singlet and chairs from the Silverdome. There was also an amazing collection of Ric Flair robes, as well as Charlotte’s from last year and Harley Race’s from Starrcade 1983. This is always one of my favorite parts of Axxess and it didn’t disappoint.
To wrap up the first half of the session, I took in Superstore. That thing is HUGE with probably 30-40 different t-shirt designs for Wrestlemania alone, almost any Funko Pop figure you could ask for and a ton of other stuff (JR’s BBQ products had their own table) for rather ridiculous prices (Wrestlemania shot glass: TEN DOLLARS). If I had the extra cash, I’d have to rent a small car to carry everything out of there.
After getting frisked by the security (I had buttons in my pocket from various tables so CLEARLY I was some kind of a criminal), I kept asking about the Flair statue…..and then I heard the music. The statue unveiling was taking place at 7:50 for some reason and was over in the NXT arena.
Sting, Shawn Michaels, Charlotte, HHH, Ricky Steamboat, Arn Anderson and the Rock N Roll Express plus a few others with their backs to the camera were there. HHH actually cried while introducing Ric, which was amusing as apparently he and Shawn had a bet on whether or not HHH could make Flair cry (HHH: “It’s not really that big of a challenge!”). I managed to get into the stands and shot a video of it and it was actually an emotional moment.
I apologize for the video quality. I was shooting from an iPod and there were WAY too many people crammed into the space. People kept having to get by me and I bent my glasses so it was really hard to see.
After that (with Flair talking about how much he loved Orlando and thanking Shawn for wrestling himself in their match here nine years ago), I ran over to the Elimination Chamber as there were at least 100 people watching the segment in the ring. The new people inside this time: Hillbilly Jim (who I met last year) and Jimmy Hart (who I met yesterday). They’re both cool but WHAT THE HECK DO THEY HAVE TO DO WITH THE ELIMINATION CHAMBER???? Last year it was Ted DiBiase and now these two? Who thinks this stuff up?
Anyway, while I was in line, the Usos, Teddy Long, Bischoff, Luke Harper and Kalisto all walked by for the change to the next session. Randy Orton, flanked by event staffers, came out for his VIP session as well. After they all went, Curtis Axel came and I got a quick high five. I got back in line and Mojo Rawley came by as well.
This was noteworthy as he stopped and talked to, shook hands with, took pictures with or signed autographs for EVERY SINGLE PERSON on the railing (plus more who came up)for a stand he wasn’t even involved with. He even knelt down and talked to a kid for at least a minute. I don’t ever remember seeing someone taking that much time to just see the fans as it took the better part of five minutes for him to walk twenty feet. That gave me a new found respect for him as he really seemed to have a good time doing this and that’s so rare these days. Well done Mojo.
Then I got inside the Chamber and……yeah the wrestlers are right when they say it’s intimidating. You really do feel something change when you walk in and I didn’t even have the door slammed behind me. Hillbilly Jim said he remembered me from last year, which is a really cool thing to hear. I also got to go inside a pod and then touch a WWE rope and turnbuckle (always wanted to do that). Also, the new floor outside the ring is VERY padded, to the point where I stumbled out of surprise the first time I stepped on it.
Also of note, while I was in line, the Rock N Roll Express were doing a Q&A in the NXT ring. They were asked which current team they wanted to face and Ricky eventually said something about wanting to face Jeff Hardy. The DELETE chants immediately started up but more than that, I was surprised that he was allowed to be mentioned. Maybe Ricky didn’t get the memo, or maybe he knows something about a signing and impending debut.
The event was winding up so I walked around to see what other booths were around. That gave me Kalisto (short line), Nia Jax (Nee-Uh Jakes according to the attendant. Nia’s line was INCREDIBLY long, to the point where I thought it was Nikki Bella at first. That was quite the surprise.), Jim Cornette (not a bad line), Anderson and Gallows (long line), Mick Foley (REALLY long line, pretty easily the longest of the second session), Luke Harper, Heath Slater and Rhyno (longer than you would expect) and Ascension (short line, maybe the shortest all night).
That left one option for my final line of the night: the Revival. After nearly an hour in a rather short line, I got to meet both guys and was rather surprised at Wilder’s charisma. I told them that they had really grown on me (true) as I didn’t think much of them at first and then they turned into one of my favorite acts in NXT. Wilder’s response when I said I didn’t like them at first: “And then you realized you were crazy because WE’RE AWESOME!” I threw in that it was like watching the Andersons (Revival calls them huge inspirations, which is really easy to see) and Wilder said they were, but better. I’m not sure about that but they’re very good.
Overall, the event was a good deal of fun, mainly because of the MUCH smaller than usual crowd. Last year the event was so packed that it was almost impossible to really move around and enjoy the place. Save for the insane food prices (cheese steak and Gatorade: $15.50), I don’t have a ton of complaints. You’re never going to find a way around the long lines and issues over the entrances. I’d easily go again and likely will next year.
Big Austin. There’s a big Undertaker just around the corner of the entrance and…..nothing other than those two.
I think this means I’m the new WCW TV Champion with options to be powerbombed by Kevin Nash on an upcoming Nitro.
From left to right: Sting, Ricky Morton, Shawn Michaels (HHH behind Shawn), Ricky Steamboat (Arn Anderson behind Steamboat), Stephanie McMahon (you knew she would be there), Robert Gibson, Ric Flair with his back to the camera on the right of the statue. Charlotte was to Flair’s right.
The guy who was looking at my iPod while I took the picture told me this looked fine.
Old school. Like the Muppets.
So three Jim’s walk into a Chamber….
Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XXIV: WOO!
Wrestlemania XXIV Date: March 30, 2008
Location: Citrus Bowl, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 74,365
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman, Joey Styles, Tazz
We’re going outside for the first time in a long time for this one. It’s also the first time the show has been in Florida which is odd for some reason. Anyway the main events here are Undertaker challenging Edge for the title and Orton defending against HHH and Cena. As for HHH’s life mate Shawn, he’s facing Flair in what was pretty clearly going to be Flair’s last match. Let’s get to it.
John Legend sings America the Beautiful.
The set is awesome with palm trees everywhere and a big canopy.
As usual, the big names on tonight’s show talk about how important this night is to them. It’s a used formula, but it always works.
This transitions into a video about how so many things can change in a year. People can return, champions can fall and surprises can occur, but it all culminates here.
John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Finlay
This is a Belfast Brawl which means street fight. Finlay was revealed to be Hornswoggle’s dad and JBL beat up the tiny man as a favor to Vince. Tonight it’s about revenge. Horny comes out with Finlay to appeal to the kids. Finlay charges at the ring and gets drilled by a knee to the head. JBL pounds away on the floor but gets sent shoulder first into the steps. We head inside for the opening bell and Finlay slides right back out to find some trashcans.
As he gets back in though JBL CRACKS him with a can and picks up some cookie sheets. Now the steps are brought in but JBL can’t powerbomb Finlay onto them. Some cookie sheet shots to the head put JBL down for two but a big boot does the same to Finlay. JBL stops to yell at Horny, allowing for the shot with that Irish club that I can’t spell. Since this is a WWE hardcore style match, it’s table time.
The table is set up in the corner but Finlay picks up the steps instead. JBL bails to the floor and beats on Horny, only to be rammed into the announce table by Papa Horny for his efforts. A trashcan lid to the head stops Finlay and gets two back inside, allowing JBL to pick up a trashcan and LAUNCH IT at Horny. That looked great.
Speaking of trashcans, a shot to JBL breaks up the Clothesline and Finlay blasts him with a lid for good measure. JBL is sent through the table for two and the fans are pleased. Finlay picks up the steps but gets blasted in the knee by a kendo stick, allowing JBL to knock him out with the Clothesline for the pin.
Rating: C+. This was fine. The whole point of this was to have a power brawl with some basic weapons which is what we got. I’m really not sure on JBL winning as the fans were solidly behind Horny and Finlay, but at least the match was entertaining and there were some hard shots in there. Good stuff here.
Kim Kardashian is guest hostess. She wasn’t famous for the most part yet here. Kennedy pops in and says he’ll win MITB and Kardashian is a little disturbed. Well to be fair she disturbs a lot of people so everything is even.
CM Punk vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. John Morrison vs. Chris Jericho vs. MVP vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. Carlito
Morrison is a tag champion and MVP is US Champion, having held it for nearly a year. Jericho is also Intercontinental Champion because what else is he supposed to do? Everyone goes after a ladder to start other than MVP who stays in the ring. Someone slides one in and MVP uses it to knock everyone down. Jericho brings in a big ladder and it’s time for a duel. MVP goes down and here’s Morrison to use his own ladder to send Jericho down.
In an awesome move, Morrison goes up top with the ladder and moonsaults down onto a bunch of guys at once. Kennedy uses the distraction to go up but Jericho makes the save. He tries a catapult on Kennedy but sends him onto the ladder by mistake. Morrison dives onto the ladder to stop Kennedy but Shelton climbs his own ladder to make it a three way race. Kennedy loads up a superplex on Morrison but Shelton jumps over both of them with a sunset flip to make it a Tower of Doom. Cool spot.
Carlito tries to shove Shelton off the ladder but he lands on the top rope on his feet. Shelton shoves the ladder at Carlito and tries to dive onto said ladder but it gives way. Punk stops Shelton from going up and hits the GTS but Kennedy stops him with the rolling fireman’s carry onto a ladder. MVP is back in now to kick Kennedy in the head but gets sent into a ladder by Carlito.
Shelton’s dragon whip CRACKS Carlito in the head but as he goes up, Kennedy and Carlito shove the ladder forward, sending Shelton over the top and through a ladder which was bridged between the ring and the barricade. Carlito and Kennedy go up but MVP breaks that up, only to be broken up by Morrison. Jericho breaks up Morrison’s attempt by putting him in the Walls on top of the ladder. Again, awesome. Kennedy tries to use the opening but Jericho throws John down and starts brawling.
Punk and Carlito dive at the ladders to make it a fourway with only Jericho lasting on top. Carlito comes back with the Backstabber off the ladder and everyone is down again. MVP goes up the ladder but here’s the returning Matt Hardy to stop him with a Twist of Fate off the ladder. Everyone is back in again and Jericho beats on all of them with the ladder. In a cool visual one ladder is jammed into the bottom of another, so as Morrison climbs the vertical (and unfolded) one, Jericho shoves it back into the corner and onto Punk.
Carlito and Jericho go up but Carlito spits apple in the face to break it up. Kennedy shoves Carlito off but gets hit in the ribs with a ladder by Punk. Jericho hits a Codebreaker with a ladder onto Punk to put everyone not named Jericho down. Punk goes up to stop Jericho but gets hit in the face by the briefcase. Punk climbs up again and knocks Jericho into the Tree of Woe with a shot to the head, allowing Punk to climb up and win the briefcase.
Rating: B. Good MITB here but as usual the high amount of people hurt it. Nothing here really stood out other than the Walls and Matt’s return, as you can only get so much out of the same spots we’ve seen before. It’s certainly good but it’s a step below some of the other stuff, and this would only get worse until we got some fresh blood in there. A power guy wouldn’t hurt either.
Orton, HHH and Cena are ready.
We look at the Hall of Fame induction ceremony from last night. The big deal of this was having Rock back to induct Rocky Johnson and Peter Maivia, his father and grandfather. The headliner though was Ric Flair who of course had everyone in tears.
Fink comes out to do the live introductions of this year’s class. They include the Brisco Brothers, Gordon Solie (represented by his kids), Johnson and Maivia, Eddie Graham, Mae Young (who tries to strip) and Flair (represented by his children, including Reid who died about three days before this was written).
Snoop Dog is here to emcee the Playboy match later and apparently has a friend in Festus. Heel Santino Marella comes up to say that he’s going to be at the match later but Snoop rings the bell to send Festus into a rage. Mick Foley pops up for a cameo, complete with Snoop Sock.
Batista vs. Umaga
This is a Battle for Brand Supremacy with Batista on the blue team and Umaga on the red team. Seriously that’s the whole story here. Regal and Teddy are here as GM’s/motivators. Slugout to start followed by Umaga missing a charge into the corner. Batista sends him to the floor but once back inside Umaga takes Big Dave down with a spinwheel kick (decent one too). A big unbooted foot sends Batista to the floor and Umaga is in full control.
Umaga gets nowhere off a quick nerve hold and gets even worse off a missed swan dive. Batista can’t slam him down though and Umaga falls on top for two. A HARD kick to Batista’s back sets up another nerve hold to keep things slow. Back up and Batista walks into a Samoan Drop for another near fall. They fight up again and Batista gets up a boot in the corner to slow Umaga down. After blocking the Samoan Spike, Batista hits a spinebuster and the “Batista Bomb” (read as Batista picks him up and falls backwards to send Umaga to the mat) for the pin.
Rating: D-. This was AWFUL with Batista doing nothing and being booed for most of his comeback. I can’t say I blame the fans either as the match was just dull all around. How this makes Smackdown bigger than Raw is beyond me but that’s what WWE says so who am I to argue? Match sucked.
We look at the tale of the tape for Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather, the latter being about as tall as my grandmother.
We look at the battle royal from the preshow with Kane winning a shot at the ECW Title.
ECW Title: Kane vs. Chavo Guerrero
In less time than it takes to type “in less time than it takes to type”, Kane chokeslams Chavo and pins him for the title. Match ran about 6 seconds.
Actress Raven Symone is here for some charity thing and SHOUTS ABOUT IT A LOT.
We recap Shawn vs. Flair. This was an odd build up as Vince said that the next match Flair lost would mean his retirement. This basically started Flair’s retirement tour as he held onto the title in upset after upset until he was all of a sudden on a roll. This led to Flair challenging Mr. Wrestlemania Shawn Michaels to a showdown at Wrestlemania, because if Flair can’t beat him he doesn’t want to keep going.
Flair was inducted into the Hall of Fame and it was made as clear as possible that Flair was going down to Shawn in Orlando. This led to a tear jerking video set to Leave the Memories Alone with a highlight reel of Flair’s career. The idea is that Shawn doesn’t want to do this but Flair wants Shawn to bring it.
Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels
Feeling out process to start with neither guy being able to get the advantage. A hip toss puts Shawn down and Ric shouts about being Old Yeller, which Shawn referenced to set this up. Shawn chops him hard and Flair’s lip is bleeding. They slug it out in the corner with Shawn taking over and going up top, only to be slammed down. Now Flair goes up and hits a cross body for two. Jerry: “IT ACTUALLY WORKED!”
Ric goes after the knee but Shawn kicks him to the floor. Shawn loads up an Asai Moonsault and hits table, landing square on the edge ribs first. That looked HORRIBLE and Shawn is in big trouble. Back in and a belly to back suplex gets two for Flair. Naitch stays on the ribs and hits a good looking suplex for two. Shawn comes back with a backdrop to send Flair to the floor and follows up with a moonsault which mostly hits floor.
Both guys make it back inside at nine and they chop it out. The forearm and nipup connect and Shawn starts slugging away. A slam sets up Shawn’s top rope elbow but it hurts his ribs in the process. Michaels tunes up the band but can’t bring himself to do it, allowing Flair to grab the Figure Four which is quickly broken. They fight to the mat and try Flair’s bridge up out of a pinfall into the backslide but Ric is just too old.
Instead it’s a sunset flip for two for Shawn but Flair takes out the knee with a chop block. The Figure Four is countered into an inside cradle for two. NOW the Figure Four goes on in the middle of the ring but Shawn finally rolls it over into the ropes. Back up and Shawn hits the superkick out of nowhere but the cover only gets two. Shawn tunes up the band again but gets kicked low for two.
Michaels comes back with a reverse Figure Four but Flair manages to crawl to the ropes. A quick rollup with a handful of trunks gets two for Flair and he fires off chop after chop. Out of nowhere Shawn superkicks Flair down but Michaels can’t cover. Flair slowly gets up and says bring it. Shawn looks at him, says “I’m sorry. I love you.” and superkicks Flair into retirement.
Rating: B. This is a hard one to grade. The match itself was entertaining, but it wasn’t supposed to be a competitive spectacle. This was designed to give Flair a great match to go out on and they almost did that. They made no secret about who was winning and that’s ok, but at the same time it was like delaying the inevitable. It was a good match to send him out on and the fans were happy to see the famous spots one more time.
Flair gets a well deserved standing ovation. This match should have closed the show and was going to, but Flair said no because the title match should close the show. Usually I would agree but in this case, Flair should have ended the show. Ric takes the long walk up the ramp to nonstop applause.
Edge talks about being a Hulkamaniac at Wrestlemania 6 and watching his hero losing. His innocence was lost that day but it’s ok. His life has come full circle because people rely on Undertaker to win at Wrestlemania. Tonight he’s taking everyone innocence by breaking the streak.
Maria/Ashley vs. Beth Phoenix/Melina
This is a Playboy lumberjill match with Snoop Dogg as master of ceremonies in a golf cart. Snoop of course comes out with all of the lumberjills because that’s what Snoop would do. Ashley is her usual self and Maria looks great. Also, her theme song continues to be ridiculously catchy. Oh and Beth is Women’s Champion and has Santino with her. Melina has uh….wings.
Ashley tries to fight Beth and is immediately thrown around. Maria tries a double hip toss with Ashley which goes as well as you would expect two talentless models to be able to do. Melina is thrown to the floor and beaten up by the good Divas and takes a bad Bronco Buster from Maria. Ashley gets a running start to climb to the middle ropes to punch Melina as this mess continues. Melina takes over and catapults Ashley into a bearhug by Beth.
Melina hits a moonsault off of Beth’s shoulders for two before we get a stupid trip from Ashley. Off to Maria for some kicks as the lights go out. They finally get a spotlight on as this continues to fall apart. Maria tries to counter the Glam Slam into a bulldog but can’t even do that right. Melina breaks up the pin and we get heel miscommunication. Maria hits a kind of top rope bulldog but Santino breaks up the pin. Lawler punches out Santino but Beth hits a fisherman’s buster for the pin on Maria.
Rating: F+. That’s ALL for Maria looking great. I forgot this match was a lumberjill match after about a minute and the rest of the girls couldn’t even be seen after that long. Maria was TERRIBLE here and she was the better worker on her team. This didn’t work at all and was the disaster to end all disasters for Divas matches.
Post match Snoop lays out Santino with a clothesline and makes out with Maria. I’ll give him this: he seemed to be having a blast out there.
We recap Orton vs. HHH vs. Cena. Orton won the title by forfeit at No Mercy and Cena is back from injury to reclaim the title that he never lost. HHH won the Elimination Chamber to get a shot as well.
Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. HHH vs. John Cena
Cena has a drumline playing him to the ring which is pretty awesome. After some big match intros we’re ready to go. Orton immediately blasts HHH with the belt but Cena takes the champion down with a bulldog before Orton can do any more damage. HHH pops back up and throws both guys to the floor before sending Orton into the announce table. Orton and HHH head back in with the champion being put in a sleeper. Cena comes back in and picks them BOTH up at the same time for an FU but both guys slip off the back. Orton’s backbreaker puts HHH down as does a shot to Cena to give the champion control again.
Randy takes turns pounding away on both guys, getting two off a knee drop to the Game. Orton starts getting uncharacteristic for himself by going up top, only to be stopped by Cena. John loads up a superplex but HHH pulls Cena onto his own shoulders so Orton can hit a top rope cross body for two. Cena stands up to try the FU on Orton but Randy slides into a cradle for two. HHH clotheslines Cena down but Orton clotheslines HHH to put HHH down.
It’s Orton standing tall again as he sends both guys to the apron for a double Elevated DDT which gets two on both challengers. An RKO to Cena is countered but he shoves Orton into HHH to put both guys down. Cena hits the Throwback (a flipping face first mat slam) and the top rope Fameasser to keep Randy down. He isn’t down enough for the STFU though and the champion rolls to the floor. Cena follows him and is sent into the post to slow things down again.
Orton and HHH fight it out in the ring with HHH taking out the champion’s knee. Cena comes back in to distract HHH but after the Game puts him down, Orton catches him with an RKO to put him right next to Cena. Orton kicks HHH to the floor but walks into the STFU in the middle of the ring. HHH makes a save at the last second and sends Cena into the floor to put him down on the floor.
Back in and HHH puts on an Indian Deathlock to follow up on the knee work he started earlier. Now it’s Cena back in to break up the hold and send HHH into the corner and out to the floor. Back to the STFU but HHH comes in for the save. The problem is that the save didn’t work, so HHH puts Cena in a Crossface while Cena has Orton in the STFU. Cena lets go of his hold but manages to crawl over to the ropes to break up the hold.
Orton rolls to the floor so HHH and Cena can slug it out in the middle of the ring. The fans boo Cena’s punches and cheer HHH’s, continuing a trend for whomever Cena is facing. Cena slams HHH down and hits the Shuffle but Cena’s FU is countered into a Pedigree attempt which is countered into an STFU attempt this HHH escapes. The spinebuster puts John down and there’s the Pedigree, but Orton comes back in with the Punt to HHH to knock him silly and Orton pins Cena to retain.
Rating: B. This was a fast paced match with all three guys working hard out there in front of a huge crowd. The back and forth stuff worked very well and it wasn’t clear who was going to win until the match was over. Orton getting beaten up and winning while stealing HHH’s pin is perfect for him, as well as giving him the big win on the big stage that he needed.
We recap Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather which is the big celebrity match of the night. Big Show was a bully to the much smaller Mayweather at No Way Out where Floyd legitimately broke Show’s nose with a right hand, setting up tonight’s No DQ match. The big question was who do we cheer for in this match? The bully or the guy who keeps running his mouth and brags about how no one can beat him? That question was never answered even after the match was over. Mayweather allegedly got $20 million for this one match. He’s a world champion boxer if you’re not a fan of his.
Floyd Mayweather Jr. vs. Big Show
You can by pin, submission or knockout. Other than that anything goes. Floyd is in gloves which would seem to be a disadvantage for him but whatever. He bobs and weaves a lot before firing off some nice punches to Big Show. Mayweather stops for a drink from a chalice (seriously) and Show beats up Mayweather’s team a bit. Show grabs an incoming punch and tries to stomp on Floyd’s hand. Smart strategy.
Show lifts him up for a chokeslam but that lets Floyd get on even level with Show’s head. Some rights to the face stagger show but Mayweather tries to choke him out, which actually works for a bit. Show finally flips him over and steps on Floyd’s left hand. The guys on the floor FREAK and say that’s not allowed before Show chops Mayweather in the corner. Show stands on Floyd’s back before putting him down with a side slam.
A headbutt stops Floyd’s comeback bid and there’s an elbow drop for good measure. Mayweather tries to bail but Big Show chases the team down, beats them up, and throws Floyd back in the ring. Show loads up the chokeslam but a handler hits Show with a chair. He gets chokeslammed down but Mayweather gets the chair and blasts Show with it a few times. A low blow and three chair shots to the head sets up a brass knuckle right hand to Show’s jaw for the knockout (and Show was on his knees at 9).
Rating: C+. This is one of those matches where all you can say is “well what else were you expecting?” Again though, who was I supposed to cheer for? The giant bully, or the loud bragging guy who used chairs and brass knuckles to win? Like I said, the story was head scratch inducing, but this was tremendous fun.
Wrestlemania is coming back to Houston next year.
Kim Kardashian announces the new attendance record: 74,635.
We get a video on the Streak which is interrupted by Edge’s theme music. Edge already beat Undertaker once by cashing in MITB last year and then costing him the title at Survivor Series. They’re trying to play up Streak vs. streak here but Edge lost in MITB last year.
Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. Edge
Edge has Teddy wheel out Vickie who is in a wheelchair as always. The Canadian is defending here. The champ pounds away to start but gets clotheslined out to the floor. Back in and Taker comes back with a Stunner onto the top rope to put Edge down. Taker slugs away but charges into a boot in the corner, only to come back with the jumping clothesline for two. Old School is countered but Taker rolls forward and armdrags Edge down.
Edge sends Taker over the corner by avoiding a big boot, possibly injuring Taker’s arm in the process. A spear sends Taker off the apron and into the barricade to work over the ribs a bit. Edge hits a hard baseball slide to send Taker back into the barricade as the match slows down a bit. With Undertaker on the apron, Edge hits a running neckbreaker to snap Undertaker’s neck across the top rope.
Back in and Edge pounds away even more before hitting a spear into the corner for no cover. Instead it’s a dropkick to put Taker down again and Edge goes up, only to be shoved down to the floor with a sick thud. There’s the Taker Dive to continue the Wrestlemania tradition. Taker drops the apron legdrop and heads back inside for the Last Ride but his back won’t let him use it.
They head outside again and Edge drops Taker back first onto the barricade, sending the big man into the crowd. Off to a half crab by Edge followed by a very modified Indian Deathlock which Undertaker kicks away. Back up and they slug it out with Taker getting control and the cheers from Undertaker. The challenger gets the better of it and hits a running clothesline in the corner. Make it a pair of them followed by snake eyes but the big boot is blocked for two by Edge.
The chokeslam is countered into the Impaler DDT for two. The second chokeslam attempt works but it only gets a near fall as well. Old School is broken up again and Edge pounds away in the corner but has to counter the Last Ride out of the corner with a neckbreaker for two. These counters are getting awesome. The Last Ride (more of a regular powerbomb here) hits but it only gets two. Edge counters the Tombstone into the Edge-O-Matic for ANOTHER close two. The fans aren’t buying Edge’s near falls.
Back up and Taker’s big boot hits the referee before Edge takes down the Dead Man. A low blow breaks up a chokeslam bid and Edge blasts Taker in the head with a camera. Taker sits up and like a dolt, Edge tries a Tombstone. Taker reverses into one of his own and here’s another referee running a LONG way down the aisle to count two. Cue Hawkins and Ryder (as in Curt and Zack, the Edgeheads) to distract Taker and let Edge hit the spear for two. NOW the fans are fired up about the kickout. Another spear connects but Taker grabs the Hell’s Gate submission out of nowhere and Edge taps away the title to make it 15-0.
Rating: A. I kept hearing about how great this match was and while I remember it being good, I don’t remember it being this good. It’s pretty safe to say that this is Edge’s best non-gimmick match ever and it’s one of his best ever period. Great match here and it would set up a series of solid gimmick matches between the two over the summer.
A lot of fireworks end the show.
Overall Rating: A-. There’s some very good stuff on here along with some historic stuff to go with it. The bad stuff is mostly short and the main event was very solid and better than I remember. I don’t know if I’d say it’s one of the best ever but it’s in the running for that list. Really fun show here which was better than I was expecting it to be.
Ratings Comparison
John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Finlay
Original: C+
Redo: C+
Shelton Benjamin vs. CM Punk vs. Carlito vs. Chris Jericho vs. MVP vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. John Morrison
Original: B
Redo: B
Batista vs. Umaga
Original: F+
Redo: D-
Kane vs. Chavo Guerrero
Original: N/A
Redo: N/A
Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels
Original: A
Redo: B
Beth Phoenix/Melina vs. Maria/Ashley
Original: F
Redo: F+
John Cena vs. HHH vs. Randy Orton
Original: C+
Redo: B
Floyd Mayweather vs. Big Show
Original: D-
Redo: C+
Edge vs. Undertaker
Original: A-
Redo: A
Overall Rating
Original: C-
Redo: A-
WOW I totally shortchanged this last time. It’s a great show and I said a C-? What was I on?
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
