I won’t list all of them, but just look at #50 and you’ll see why this is WWE trolling again. In case you’re wondering, I’m fine with the top 10.

http://www.wwe.com/classics/wcw/50-greatest-wcw-stars

Monday Nitro #183
Date: April 5, 1999
Location: MGM Grand Garden Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

It’s a new era (kind of) for WCW as tonight they’re unveiling a new set and logo, making a change for the first time in several years. The main story coming into tonight is some announcement by Sting, who will be making his first scheduled appearance on the show since the fall of last year. Let’s get to it.

We open with a Sting video from the build to Starrcade 1997 to hype up his announcement tonight.

A new opening sequence (heavily featuring the Nitro Girls) shows off the new logo.

Goldberg is walking through the back with a tumbler full of what appears to be names to be drawn.

The announcers are now at ringside. Tony, now wearing a leather jacket and with his hair a little messier, talks about Spring Stampede coming this weekend. I must have had the dates wrong then as I thought we had another week after this. Good grief they need to hurry then.

Gene brings out Goldberg for a chat. Goldberg still has the tumbler and talks about how he’s been getting screwed over ever since losing the title. He wasn’t at Uncensored and if it’s up to Flair, he won’t be a Spring Stampede. Gene says we must be having the lottery that they’ve been talking about. I’m not sure what lottery this is but I doubt Gene knows either. The name Goldberg pulls out is going to be his victim on Sunday but here’s Nash to interrupt.

Kevin comes out in a hockey jersey and warns Goldberg not to spear him. Nash says that he’s been doing this for ten years and people will be talking about him in another ten years because he stopped the Streak. Goldberg tells him not to live in the past, so Nash makes the match between the two of them at Spring Stampede. Goldberg says Merry Christmas.

Arn Anderson is on the phone in Flair’s office but can’t get someone on the phone. Flair is upset and Arn leaves.

Nitro Girls.

Ricky Rachman hypes the Hotline.

Hardcore Hak vs. Kendall Windham

This is a Singapore Cane match for no apparent reason. They duel to start until Kendall gets in a few shots to the leg to take over. Hak’s chuck Chastity nails Windham with a cane and Hak takes over. Windham grabs a swinging neckbreaker for two but Hak puts him down with a backdrop. For some reason he goes outside to yell at someone, allowing Kendall to take over back inside. Some elbows have Kendall in trouble and a big cane shot to the head drops him. The White Russian legsweep gives Hak the pin.

Rating: D. Well that happened. This hardcore stuff is getting boring already and I can see why they switched over to the comedy stuff soon enough. Windham was only like his brother in name only and I’m still not convinced Hak is a wrestler. Thankfully they kept this on the first hour and short. The canes didn’t mean much either.

Video on Meng.

Goldberg goes in to see Flair and Anderson but they didn’t send for him. He isn’t happy that Luger and Liz are in Flair’s office. Flair has a big presidential seal on the wall now.

Anderson goes up to Nash at catering because Flair wants to see Nash.

Video on Konnan vs. Disco Inferno.

Konnan vs. Lizmark Jr.

They go to the mat to start with Konnan rolling him by the arm into a sunset flip for two. Lizmark trips him up in the corner and nails a spinwheel kick for a near fall of his own. A seated dropkick gets two for Lizmark as Tony continues his heel schtick that he started on Thursday. This time he claims that he’s the only announcer that puts in any effort instead of just going home. Lizmark takes him to the floor for an ax handle to the back. He’s getting in a lot more offense than I expected here. Konnan avoids a top rope splash and they trade rollups for two each. The X-Factor sets up the Tequila Sunrise to make Lizmark tap.

Rating: C-. It’s always nice to see some actual effort in a match like this. Konnan vs. Disco isn’t the hottest feud in the world but at least it’s something that has been given a story. Lizmark didn’t do much in WCW but he got to show off a little bit here. This was a nice little surprise instead of the usual.

Anderson and Flair get back to Flair’s office.

Scott Steiner video.

Nash and Flair are walking through the office area but go their separate ways. Hogan sees Nash and asks what he was doing with Flair. Apparently it was just business. Hollywood says it better be.

Now Nash is with Charles Robinson (in a suit), who apparently has 4Flair license plates. Robinson leaves before anything can be said. Hogan pops up again and asks what that was about. Apparently they’re having issues over what Samantha said last week. In case you forgot, it was over where or not the Fingerpoke of Doom was “real.” So they’re fighting over whether or not a poke to the chest was a real victory or staged? Am I understanding this right?

Gene brings out Flair for a chat. Ric talks about Goldberg wanting to be where the champ is now. Nash made a match with Goldberg for Sunday like a man should. As for tonight, Flair is in a good mood and is going to face Hogan tonight for the World Title. This brings out a fired up Hogan who says he’d love to beat up Flair right here tonight. Ric threatens to cancel the match if Hogan touches him but Hollywood is more than willing to let Flair go to the back and get ready.

They yell at each other a lot until DDP comes out to interrupt. Page doesn’t care for either of them but this is obviously a main event match worthy of the MGM Grand. He has an idea though: let’s make it a three way dance. Hogan is willing to make it a handicap match but here’s Goldberg before anything can be made official. He wants in the match and grabs Flair but the shirt but Ric gets away and shouts that Goldberg is in trouble. Apparently it’s a four way later tonight. Hogan and Goldberg seem to make a deal, saying they’ll take out Flair and Page respectfully and then go one on one.

US Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Scott Steiner vs. Meng

This could be interesting. Steiner rips on DDP a bit before the match because that feud just won’t die. If Page wanted a piece of him, why didn’t he enter the US Tag Title tournament (that’s what he said) for the US Title? Steiner brings up the 30 days stipulation from SuperBrawl before talking about a rollercoaster of love. He only needs one night with Kimberly to have her for the rest of her life. If Page wants revenge, he has to give up Kimberly for one night.

Steiner pounds away in the corner but Meng nails him with a superkick to send him outside. Back in and Meng superkicks him again, knocking Steiner back into the corner. Scott asks for time out but comes back with a belly to belly. Both guys head outside with Meng going face first into the barricade. Back in and a slow motion backbreaker gets two on Meng but he fights out of a superplex and nails a middle rope clothesline. More clotheslines and a dropkick get two on Steiner. There’s the Tongan Death Grip but Steiner goes to the eyes. A low blow and belly to belly suplex are good for the pin (the feet on the ropes didn’t hurt either).

Rating: C. Again I liked this better than I was expecting with both guys getting in some good looking power stuff. Steiner’s push to the stars continues, even though he’s been the same worker for months now. Meng did his stuff here and went a little bit above and beyond with that middle rope clothesline and dropkick looking good.

Hour #2 begins.

Nitro Girls.

We see a man in a trenchcoat in the rafters but it’s just a worker.

Same Sting video that opened the show.

Flair yells at the cameraman for filming him.

Video on Jim Duggan returning from cancer.

Jim Duggan vs. Lenny Lane

Lane hides in the corner to start but gets in a cheap shot to the ribs. Duggan slugs him down and head outside with Lane being sent into the post and announcers’ table. More slugging ensues back inside and Duggan nails a suplex for two. Duggan finally drops a big knee to end this.

Rating: D-. This went on far longer than it should have and wasn’t entertaining. Duggan coming back is a good story but that doesn’t mean he’s someone interesting to see in the ring anymore. At least it was someone worthless like Lane taking the loss instead of a bigger name.

Rachman talks about the Hotline again.

Video of Hogan making the battle royal for control of the Black and White.

Battle Royal

Vincent, Brian Adams, Stevie Ray, Horace

Yep it’s a four man battle royal and we have to sit through full entrances for everyone. Norton is left out for no apparent reason. It’s a brawl to start with everyone hitting everyone else. The crowd is silent and it’s not hard to see why. There’s nothing but bunching and kicking to go with the lame elimination attempts so far. Vincent is finally thrown out after nearly four minutes of brawling.

Adams suplexes Stevie down and stops to look at Horace. Stevie knocks both of them down and hammers away as this just keeps going. Horace clips Stevie from behind and Adams nails Ray with a clothesline. Adams and Horace get in an argument over who eliminates Ray so Adams nails his former friend with a backbreaker. Adams takes too long trying to slam Horace out, allowing Stevie to clothesline him to the floor. Horace charges into a backdrop to give Stevie the win.

Rating: F. A four man battle royal that took seven minutes to get through. I think you can figure out why this is a failure.

Clip of Saturn and Raven costing the Horsemen the tag belts last week.

Tag Team Titles: Rey Mysterio Jr./Kidman vs. Raven/Saturn

The champions are now in matching undershirts. Saturn shoves Rey into the corner to start but gets taken down by a hurricanrana. Raven comes in without a tag and helps his partner with a Doomsday Device with Saturn hitting a cross body instead of a clothesline. There’s no cover though so Saturn hits a middle rope legdrop for two. Mysterio avoids a top rope legdrop and the hot tag brings in Kidman. A sitout Pedigree drops Saturn and a bulldog puts Raven down for good measure. The champions hit stereo top rope splashes for two on Saturn and we take a break.

Back with Saturn in control of Kidman and hitting a wicked overhead release belly to belly to send Kidman to the floor. Raven brings in a chair for the drop toehold and two. A gordbuster from Raven sets up a top rope splash from Saturn as the challengers are dominating. Raven misses an elbow drop and it’s off to Rey for the springboard seated senton.

A spinwheel kick puts Raven in the corner and it’s a Bronco Buster for Saturn. Raven blocks his with a raised boot. Kidman’s lifting powerbomb gets two on Saturn as everything breaks down. Mysterio dropkicks Saturn into the referee as Kidman takes Raven outside. Saturn catches a springboarding Raven in the Death Valley Driver but here are the Horsemen to lay out Raven and Saturn. Dean puts Rey on top of Saturn for the pin.

Rating: B. This was getting really good near the ending, which doesn’t make perfect sense. I get why Benoit and Malenko would want to cost Raven and Saturn a match, but wouldn’t they want them to have the belts going into their match on Sunday? Either way, this was the best match on Nitro in a few weeks and a much needed pick up after the battle royal mess.

US Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Chris Jericho vs. Booker T.

Jericho is back in due to Curt Hennig being injured. They trade arm work to start with Tony talking about how sharp Jericho looks tonight. As he says that, Booker dropkicks his head off and takes over. Another kick to the face sends Jericho down but Booker misses a side kick and gets crotched on the ropes.

Jericho’s springboard dropkick has Booker reeling but Chris makes the mistake of slapping him in the face. The Lionsault hits feet though and there’s the ax kick. Booker nails the 110th Street Slam for two and Booker Spinaroonis up. Scott Steiner comes in with a chair but gets it kicked back into his face. Booker backdrops Jericho WAY over the top as the bell rings for a DQ due to Steiner’s interference.

Rating: C-. And that’s it for Jericho in WCW. Unless he has some promos coming up, he won’t be appearing for them again. I can’t say I blame him either as he was a prop here to set up Steiner vs. Booker in another title match on PPV. Jericho is another case of a guy with talent that never got to rise past the midcard scene because that’s how WCW worked.

Buff Bagwell vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Now that’s alliteration! Buff poses at him to start and is sent into the buckle for his efforts. Some clotheslines and kicks to the ribs have Bigelow in trouble and a big clothesline sends him out to the floor. Back in and Bam Bam chokes in the corner but charges into a boot. Buff faceplants him, only to get headbutted in the ribs to put him down again. A slam drops Bagwell again but Bigelow misses what looked like a Swanton. Buff nails a running clothesline but the referee gets bumped. This brings out Hak and Chastity to nail Bigelow with a Singapore cane and blast him with a fire extinguisher. Buff hits the Blockbuster for a pin.

Rating: C-. I knew Bagwell would work as a face. This wasn’t a bad match until the more complicated than necessary finish. This sets up Bigelow vs. Hak on Sunday, but shouldn’t Bagwell have a match set up? There isn’t much of a midcard act set for Sunday save for Konnan vs. Disco and a Bagwell match would fill that in nicely.

Video on Nash vs. Goldberg. Very impressive of them to get that ready in two hours.

WCW World Title: Ric Flair vs. Goldberg vs. Hollywood Hogan vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Flair is defending, Nash is on commentary and Goldberg comes out last. Everyone is in the ring at the same time but Goldberg and Page fight to the floor to start. That leaves Hogan to run over Flair with a bunch of clotheslines as he’s wrestling like a hero early on. Hogan gets two off one of those clotheslines with Page making the save. Now it’s Goldberg beating Flair up on the floor but all four are quickly back inside.

That lasts all of eight seconds as Hogan and Goldberg fight up the aisle and Page clotheslines Flair off the apron. They trade off again and Hogan slams Flair from the top to keep up tradition. The weightlifting belt comes off for some whipping to the champ’s back. Ric low blows Hollywood as the fans chant for Sting. Everyone gets back inside again and Hogan clotheslines Goldberg for two. They trade small packages of all things for two each as Flair puts Page in the Figure Four.

Another trade sees Hogan and Page going to the floor as Goldberg press slams Flair. Hogan comes back in to save the champion but gets to fight Goldberg for his efforts. Page can’t quite crotch Flair against the post as Goldberg is choking Hogan on the mat. All four head outside and Flair is thrown over the announcers’ table. Page and Goldberg head back inside and it’s not quite Halloween Havoc.

Goldberg powerslams him down as Hogan suplexes Flair on the floor. All four are back in again but Flair quickly falls back out. Page follows him out as Goldberg suplexes Hollywood. Both guys no sell a bit and Goldberg superkicks him down. DDP comes back in with a discus lariat for two on Goldberg, earning him a Jackhammer.

Hogan breaks it up but Flair goes after his knee. There’s the spear to Page and one for Flair as well. A third spear takes Hogan down but he kicks out at two. Goldberg hits the Jackhammer on Hogan but Nash misses his cue to break it up so Hogan kicks out at two. That wasn’t Hogan’s fault and thankfully the announcers didn’t acknowledge it. Nash comes in and that’s a no contest, just as Sting repels from the ceiling.

Rating: C+. This was very energetic but the miscues at the end hurt it. They needed someone else in there to help map the match out though and it became a problem near the end. I get why they couldn’t have someone get a clean pin but the no contest is such an annoyance when it happens so often.

Sting points around the arena and we get a video with Randy Savage’s voice announcing another fourway at Spring Stampede with Flair defending against Hogan, Sting and Page with Savage as the referee. Because WCW.

Overall Rating: C. This is a show that would have been one of the best ever had they not had the third hour. If you cut out stuff like Kendall Windham vs. Hak, the NWO battle royal (that could have been solved in about a dozen different ways, such as the match they already had last month) and a bunch of the filler stuff, this is a really good show. The Tag Team and World Title matches were both good to very good and that’s enough to carry it, though not to greatness. I’m also not wild on Spring Stampede yet but this show did help.

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Today we’re going with someone that I’ve been a fan of for years: Rico.

After just a handful of matches on the independent circuit, Rico was signed to WWF and went to OVW. We’ll start at Christmas Chaos 2001, held in January of that year due to the original show being postponed due to snow. Keep in mind that this is different from the Rico you’re familiar with. Here he’s an athletic freak that can wrestle with anyone and totally serious.

Flash/Trailer Park Trash vs. Rico Constantino/Mr. Black

This is hardcore. Flash Flanagan is a guy that was supposed to be one of the breakout stars of OVW but a bad injury kept him off the WWF roster just after he was going to be called up. Rico made it of course but is freshly heel here. Black is a big security guard and Trailer Park Trash is a guy I have no idea about. Constantino and Black are part of Bolin Services, the top heel stable in OVW. Oh and Black is Hardcore Champion.

Apparently Rico isn’t in Bolin Services yet but if Bolin can get him the OVW Title he’ll join the team. Cornette: “Bolin is the kind of a guy that if he tells you the sun is coming up tomorrow you better go buy a flashlight. He’s the second most dishonest person I know after that promoter in Philadelphia.” There is some real bad blood there which is 100% legit.

Flash and Trash (just a big guy in jeans and a shirt) bring the weapons. Rico and Black bust out garbage can lids which means they take them to the head. Flash accidentally hurt Rico about a year ago to start their feud. This is Trash’s return after about a four month absence. I think you have to be in the ring to get a fall but I’m not sure.

It’s really hard to tell who is who here. Rico has long hair here so you can’t really tell which guy he is. Trash pulls out a bowling ball and it collides with Black’s balls. Flash sets up a table on the floor and Rico goes onto it. Springboard spinning legdrop half kills Rico but Flash is down too. Trash doesn’t look like much of a technician to put it mildly.

Trash gets a door from somewhere (Perry Saturn’s factory maybe?) and lays it between the ring and the railing like a bridge. He wants to suplex Black through it but of course gets shoved through it himself. Flash and Rico are back up and Flash misses a big moonsault. We clip it a bit to see Trash getting hanged by Black. Rico has a broom and everyone is down for the most part.

Black gets a suplex to Flash and we bring in frying pans and tires. Rico puts the tire around Trash’s neck and superkicks the tire. That was different. We throw in a toilet seat and a mailbox to really make this out there. More clipping as Flash takes a Bossman Slam from Black.

The beating has been going on for a good while now. I guess morale hasn’t improved enough yet. Black goes for a top rope splash but Trash makes the stop and slams him down. We hit ten minutes and Flash hits what looks like a middle rope neckbreaker/Blockbuster on Black onto a chair to end this, again very abruptly.

Rating: C-. This was a long match, running over ten minutes. I’m not sure if a hardcore tag match was the best choice to do that with but apparently Trash is a big fan favorite here so they’re giving them what they want in that sense. Pretty dull match and like I said another abrupt ending which came out of nowhere.

Here’s a match from late March/early April 2001 with Rico as OVW Champion.

Rico Constantino vs. Flash Flanagan

Rico is OVW Champion and Flash is Hardcore Champion but this is non-title. A clothesline puts Rico on the floor and Flash rams his head into Rico’s manager Kenny Bolin. Back in and Rico kicks him in the face to take over but Flash superkicks Rico down. A spinning springboard legdrop gets two as Cornette is freaking out on commentary. Rico comes back with a side slam and more kicks in the corner. They clothesline each other down and Bolin gets on the apron for a distraction. Rico gets Bolin’s briefcase but Flash kicks it into his face for the big upset.

Rating: C-. The match didn’t have time to be anything special but it wasn’t supposed to be. The win kept Flash in an upcoming triple threat (where he won the title) so it actually had some storyline stuff behind it. Rico was a solid heel at this point and Bolin was still the top heel manager of the promotion.

We’re going to look at a series of dark matches now, starting on April 15, 2001.

Rico Constantino vs. Randy Orton

Orton doesn’t mean anything at this point either. They trade shots in the corner to start and Orton beals him across the ring. A backflip dropkick gets two on Rico but he avoids a charge in the corner for two of his own. More stomping ensues in the corner and Rico suplexes him down for another near fall. Rico stomps even more and hits a nice spinning kick to the face. He takes too long going up but knocks Orton off the top. Orton avoids a moonsault and hammers away before nailing a wheelbarrow suplex for the pin.

Rating: D. Orton looked far more polished here than Rico, which isn’t what I was expecting at this point. Rico didn’t look horrible but he didn’t have anything left to do after the first minute or two of the match. Orton carried most of the match here and did a better job at playing to the crowd on top of that. Nothing to see here but Orton was clearly going to be a big star.

Another dark match from December 4, 2001.

Rico Constantino vs. Brock Lesnar

Brock drives him into the corner to start and puts Rico on the turnbuckle because he can. Rico avoids a charge and kicks away but Brock misses him up into a gorilla press. An elbow to the jaw drops Rico again and Brock busts out a dropkick just because he can. Rico nails a spinwheel kick but Brock shrugs it off and plants him with a powerslam for the pin.

Rating: C-. Oh come on you knew Lesnar wasn’t going to lose here. Rico looked better out there, though the match was significantly shorter. Brock continues to be awesome though and there’s no way you can top a genetic freak like him. The match looked far tighter than the Orton match though and that’s a good sign.

One more dark match from January 22, 2002.

AJ Styles vs. Rico Constantino

AJ spins out of a wristlock to start before backflipping out of a German suplex. A knee to the back puts Rico in control and a kick to the head gets two. We hit the chinlock on Styles before a spinwheel kick gets two more on AJ. Rico misses a great looking moonsault and walks into a brainbuster for two. A spinning cross body off the top mostly hits Rico’s legs but AJ backdrops him to the floor. AJ follows him out with a shooting star dive to really wake the crowd up. Back in and AJ gets knocked throat first onto the top rope, setting up a kind of northern lights suplex for the pin.

Rating: C. This was actually really entertaining stuff and was enough to get AJ a developmental deal with the company. He didn’t want to move to Louisville though so it was off to TNA instead. Good match though and that springboard shooting star looked awesome. Rico was a great talent but the stylist gimmick killed him.

Rico would debut as Billy and Chuck’s stylist because that’s what you do with an atheltic guy like him. Here’s one of his first matches from Judgment Day 2002.

Tag Titles: Rikishi/??? vs. Billy/Chuck

The partner for Rikishi will be announced in a bit. To the shock of no one, the partner is Billy and Chuck’s manager/stylist Rico. Billy vs. Rikishi to start us off here. DDT does nothing of course and Rikishi takes over. This is when there was only one set of titles at the time. Chuck comes in and hammers away which gets him nowhere for the most part. Suplex gets two.

The idea here is that Rico will lay down for his buddies so they can keep the titles so Rikishi is more or less in a handicap match. Belly to belly by Rikishi gets two. Billy comes in and gets beaten up by Rikishi too. Rico is just chilling on the apron at the moment. Dropkick by Chuck puts Rikishi down. Rico tries to help Chuck and accidentally drops Chuck, giving him and Rikishi the titles.

Rating: D. Was there any point to this other than to give the crowd a breather? No? I didn’t think so. Moving on here as there’s nothing to say here. The title reign meant nothing if you didn’t guess. As usual this would be the idea of the wacky tag team partners who of course are able to win the titles with relative ease.

Here’s a slightly better opponent. From Raw on September 16, 2002.

Ric Flair vs. Rico

Flair quickly takes him down with ease and drops a knee to the head. A few headlock takeovers keep Rico in trouble but he comes back with some fast kicks. Rico kicks him in the head for a Flair Flop but Ric stops him with an elbow to the jaw. Flair doesn’t let Rico bring a chair in and takes him over with a vertical suplex for two. Ric goes over and kicks the chair out of the corner, allowing Rico to kick him in the face for the (mostly) clean pin. Flair’s hand seemed to be touching the ropes but it wasn’t mentioned.

Rating: C-. That’s quite the rub for Rico as the pin was as clean as it was going to be for something like this. Flair was destroying him for the most part here with basic stuff which is something I enjoy seeing. Yeah a lot of the time it’s better to see something flashy or intricate, but it’s nice to see basic leverage moves every now and then.

Here’s another fairly big name opponent, from Raw on October 14, 2002.

Jeff Hardy vs. Rico

Rico throws a shirt at him in the corner and hammers away but Jeff scores with a Cactus Clothesline to put both of them on the floor. Jeff runs the barricade for another clothesline to drop Rico and they head back inside. Back in and Rico fires off kicks in the corner before putting on a bodyscissors. Jeff comes right back with a Whisper in the Wind for two, followed by the Twist and Swanton for the pin.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and Jeff didn’t do much besides high spots. To be fair that’s the case with almost any match like this as you have to get your stuff in and then do the finish. What else can you do in a match that only lasts a few minutes? Jeff would be gone a few months later.

Rico would be in a six man tag at Survivor Series 2002.

Dudley Boys/Jeff Hardy vs. 3 Minute Warning/Rico

This is an elimination tables match. Oh and that’s Bubba and Spike, not D-Von. Spike and Bubba got put through the same table on Raw Monday to set this up. The Dudleys and Jeff clear the ring to start and Spike is thrown into the arms of the Samoans. It’s Bubba vs. Rico in the ring at the moment, because putting Spike and Jeff against Umaga and Rosey is a great idea right? Bubba chops Rico HARD in the corner before things settle down.

What’s Up hits Jamal and we get to the tagging section of the match before everything breaks down again. Bubba tells Jeff to get the tables but Rosey runs over Bubba after Bubba sets up a table in the corner. A BIG backdrop puts Jeff on the floor and Rosey rams Spike’s head into a table. Rosey misses a charge and drives himself through a table in the corner but that doesn’t count because it wasn’t someone else putting him through.

Jeff tries a top rope dive at Rosey but literally bounces off. Rico brings in another table and gets caught in a Dudley Dog, but 3 Minute Warning catches him in a double powerbomb to put Spike through the table instead. Jeff and Bubba get slammed down but Bubba knocks Rosey off the top and Jeff sends Rico flying into a cameraman. Bubba pounds away but Rico hits a spinwheel kick to take his head off. Rico could go in the ring make no mistake.

Rosey and Jeff go out into the crowd and there’s a table out there with them. Jeff is put on said table as Bubba gets kicked in the face by Rico. Jamal misses a splash and crushes Rico, allowing Bubba to Bubba Bomb Jamal and go to save Jeff. With Bubba’s help, Jeff goes up to the top of an entrance and hits a BIG Swanton through Rosey through the table to make it 2-2.

Back in the ring Jamal has Bubba on a table ready for a Rico moonsault, but he looks hesitant to launch. He looks over his shoulder, shouts “C’MON JEFF!” before staggering. THEN Jeff shakes the ropes and Rico crotches himself. Not the best response but that’s on Jeff more than Rico. Bubba tries a belly to back superplex through the table but Jamal moves it away. Jeff hits Whisper in the Wind to Jamal and follows it with a dropkick.

Hardy goes to the floor to get another table which he throws at Jamal. Jeff tries to run the railing but Jamal throws the table at Jeff, who goes flying through it. That doesn’t count which I can kind of agree with. Jamal puts Jeff on another table and hits a HUGE splash off the top to eliminate Jeff. That looks awesome. Bubba beats on Rico in the ring but Jamal saves his sideburned buddy. Jamal goes up to try a top rope rana (I guess) on Bubba, only to get caught in a HUGE powerbomb through the table to get us down to one on one.

It’s Rico vs. Bubba with the former pounding away and pulling in another table. Rosey comes back in but Bubba pounds away on him too. Now Jamal is in there too and it’s D-VON to the rescue! He’s on Smackdown at this point so this is a big deal. 3D puts Rico through the table to end this.

Rating: B-. That’s likely high but this was what you want to open a show. It helps a lot that this was a fifteen minute match instead of like six minutes like they are on Raw. This was fun and the pop for the reunion of the Dudleys (which would be permanent) was a feel good moment. Good stuff here and a good choice to open things up, especially in New York City.

Time for another handicap match! From Raw on January 6, 2003.

3 Minute Warning/Rico/Batista vs. Dudley Boys

Flair is with Batista too so it’s basically 5-2. Jamal gets backdropped to the floor as Batista hangs out on the floor. I wonder if D-Von and Batista’s past will be mentioned. There’s a fast 3D to Rico but the stupid Dudleys don’t cover him, allowing Batista to come in and clean house. Bubba gets sent to the floor and Chief Morely gets in some shots of his own. Everyone not named Batista beats on Bubba on the floor and there’s a spinebuster to D-Von.

Bischoff and Morely come into the ring and demand that the referee counts D-Von, but Batista pulls him up at two. Bubba gets back in but walks into a suplex from Rosey. Now Flair gets in and puts Bubba in the Figure Four as Jamal hits a top rope splash for good measure. D-Von takes a Samoan Drop and the Batista Bomb finally ends this.

Rating: D+. This was an angle which is fine, but it doesn’t really exactly make for an interesting segment. Batista was just midcard muscle with Flair as a manager at this point, but Evolution was coming soon. The Bischoff regime got old in a hurry and here he came off as just another corrupt boss. Not much here but it was a good beating.

One more singles match from Heat on February 9, 2003.

Bryan Danielson vs. Rico

Danielson quickly takes him down and puts on a kind of dragon sleeper. Rico blocks an O’Connor Roll but gets caught by a dropkick. Some kicks drop Bryan for two and Rico puts on a weak Gory Stretch. Bryan flips out for two but gets kicked in the face for the same. After an arm hold goes nowhere, Danielson enziguris him down but can’t follow up. Some European uppercuts put Rico down and a snap suplex gets two for Danielson. Back up and Bryan hits the ropes but charges into the spinning kick to the face for the pin.

Rating: C-. I love seeing guys like Bryan when he means nothing. He got to showcase some talents here though and it was clear that he was going to be a big deal somewhere down the road. Much to my surprise this wasn’t a glorified squash with Danielson actually controlling about half of the match.

Back to the handicaps on Raw, February 17, 2003.

Spike Dudley vs. 3 Minute Warning/Rico

There’s nothing to say here. The three dominate Spike for about three and a half minutes and Rico pins Spike after a top rope splash from Jamal. There was nothing to talk about in between.

Rico did have some singles matches, including this one at Insurrextion 2003.

Goldust vs. Rico

And on Pay Per View too! Hebner is in there, you know the chant. Rico keeps hiding from Goldust as we have to stall in this match of all things. Rico really was underrated in the ring as his gimmick always gets looked down on which isn’t fair to him. He definitely wasn’t that bad in the ring and was clearly always working hard out there which is all I can ask for.

Naturally this is a rather boring match but it’s not entirely fair to blame that on the wrestlers here. These two had no business being out there as long as they’re being given so they can only do so much in there. We talk about Sean Connery and James Bond to fill in time. Picture perfect moonsault by Rico misses. That was freaking pretty looking. Bulldog gets two for Goldust.

Shattered Dreams is blocked and Goldust goes insane, hitting all kinds of stuff on Rico. Ok so mainly nothing more than punches which apparently are the results of his mental issue. I never liked that angle. Not due to what it was about but because it never really made sense. And there’s a powerslam out of nowhere (Ross’ description) to end it. Oh Goldust won.

Rating: D+. That’s higher than this deserves, but the problem here is that there was FAR too much time given to this match. This got eleven minutes and to their credit it never really got boring. Like I said, Rico was a guy that would always work in the ring which is something you have to give him points for. They were trying out there but this just had no business going this long.

From Raw, September 8, 2003.

Lance Storm vs. Rico

If nothing else we get to look at Jackie Gayda in a barely there outfit. The idea here is that Storm is boring and trying to find a personality. Rico starts the boring chant before the match so Lance punches him down. Goldust in turn starts a Rico Sucks chant and we’re ready to go. A quick suplex gets two for Lance but Rico comes back with a kick to the face and a clothesline before ripping at Storm’s face. Off to a chinlock for a bit until Storm fights up and starts firing off clotheslines. Jackie tries to get involved and gets kissed by Storm who quickly finishes Rico with a springboard missile dropkick. Short and not terrible here.

Rico would hook up with Charlie Haas to form another oddball tag team. Since this is the Ruthless Aggression Era, they would win the Smackdown Tag Team Titles soon after forming. Here’s a title defense from Judgment Day 2004.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Charlie Haas/Rico vs. Billy Gunn/Hardcore Holly

Charlie/Rico are the champions here and it’s another oddball team. Rico is fully embracing his gay side here and the only good thing is Jackie Gayda looking incredible. However, Billy Gunn and Hardcore Holly? Bart Gunn wasn’t available to reform the New Midnight Express? The challengers argue over who starts first so Rico slaps/grabs their rumps. Wouldn’t Billy be used to that?

Ok officially we start with Haas vs. Holly. After a brief feeling out process Holly grabs a headlock and it’s technician vs. power brawler to start us off. Off to Rico who slaps Haas’ chest to come in. Rico touches the redneck Holly and it’s off to the former groom as Rico does a cancan. Rico kisses his hand and puts it on Billy’s face to really mess with Gunn. We have butt slapping and some rodeo before Rico kicks Billy who falls onto his knees in front of Rico. Yep we’re in a comedy match.

Gunn finally gets ticked off and drills Rico, and by that I mean he punches him you sick freaks. Holly vs. Haas now with Holly getting a suplex for two. We hit the chinlock before Gunn comes in and hammers away. Rico: “Don’t you hurt my Charlie!” Holly’s kick between the legs (to the stomach) gets two. I missed a Rico likes hardcore joke in there somewhere.

Holly goes to the middle rope and does the jump into the boot of a guy in a move where the only reason I went to the top was to jump into the boot because a double clothesline is beyond my intelligence spot. Haas gets the tag (moderate temperature) and Rico cleans house (no French Maid outfit?) but gets caught in a Fameasser. There was a blind tag to Haas though so no cover. Alabama Slam is caught by a superkick from Rico lets Haas get a sunset flip on Holly to retain.

Rating: C-. Just a tag match based in comedy here. Nothing worth seeing at all as Jackie looking good was a regular occurrence. Not a bad match or anything mind you, but when the biggest star is Billy Gunn and he’s a glorified jobber who would be gone in six months, the same week as Rico actually. Nothing terrible, but just there for the most part.

We’ll wrap it up with one more six person tag from No Mercy 2004.

Dudley Boys/Dawn Marie vs. Rico/Charlie Hass/Miss Jackie

I miss Dawn. She was gorgeous. Jackie is no slouch either. Bubba and Haas start us off but D-Von jumps him to give them the early advantage. D-Von beats on Charlie but Dawn tags herself in to hit on Charlie. Jackie comes in and there goes Dawn’s top. Bubba pulls Jackie’s hair to give Dawn the advantage then comes in to kiss her. Bubba makes the mistake of closing his eyes though and gets a kiss from Rico instead.

Out to the floor and Bubba is about to be sick. It’s such a shame that Rico got this gimmick as he was AWESOME in OVW, regularly outworking guys like Orton and Cena. Bubba walks out and Rico gets a bunch of (fruit) rollups on D-Von. Bubba comes back to crotch Rico and then officially comes in to give Rico a heterosexual beating. Rico grabs a DDT out of nowhere and double tags bring in the other guys.

Haas cleans house and causes some heel miscommunication. A German takes down Bubba but Dawn distracts him, allowing D-Von to get in some offense. Rico makes a blind tag and hits a cross body for two as everything breaks down. The Dudleys load up What’s Up but Rico is WAY too excited for it, rubbing his crotch and begging D-Von to jump. D-Von won’t do it so we get a catfight instead. Charlie takes down D-Von and Rico finishes him with a moonsault.

Rating: C+. It was a comedy tag match, but every time I watch Rico I love him more and more. This guy was doing everything he could to get this dead end gimmick over and it worked. Rico cracked me up which was the whole point of the character. It’s a shame he wasn’t allowed to just be himself and awesome. Fun match.

Rico is a guy where the gimmick crippled him. There’s nowhere to go but comedy with something like he had and it’s a shame given how awesome he is. Yeah I like him more than is probably healthy, but the guy had a ton of talent and then got wasted for the kind of gimmick that he got stuck with. Still though, he was entertaining and that’s all he needed to be.

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Thunder
Date: April 1, 1999
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone

We’re closing in on Spring Stampede and the card is starting to come into focus. It’s pretty clear that Hogan will be involved in the title match but nothing has been made official yet. This is a live episode of Thunder, meaning the levels of suck shouldn’t be as high. Granted they’ve surprised me before. Let’s get to it.

Opening video.

The annoucers do their welcome and tell us that Sting has a message for us this coming Monday.

Gene brings out Raven and Saturn who will face Benoit/Malenko at the PPV. Raven questions Gene for saying he and Saturn broke up. Apparently they fought with each other for years, even back at summer camp over a girl named Beaulah. Saturn: “THAT WAS TOMMY!” Saturn thinks they deserve a title shot for helping Mysterio/Kidman win the titles. Nothing was said here.

We recap Disco vs. Konnan’s battle of the music videos.

Erik Watts vs. Norman Smiley

Norman is a good guy now. The announcers talk about how controversial the Big Wiggle has been and go into their usual pronunciation argument in a Smiley match. Watts does a dance of his own and gets nailed by a clothesline. They trade headlocks until Erik drop toeholds Norman into the ropes. Back up and Norman hits the swinging slam but gets shoved out of the corner for two. A nice belly to belly plants Norman and a buckle bomb has him in big trouble. Erik doesn’t cover though and gets pulled into the Norman’s Conquest for the submission.

Rating: D. I’ve always felt sorry for Watts. He was laughed at back in 1992 for being in a position he didn’t ask for and only held because of his dad. He was ok here but nothing more than a generic tall villain. At the end of the day, the guy just wasn’t very good and shouldn’t have been on national TV. Bad match but not laughably bad.

Chris Jericho cites the Silent Brian McNee (a deaf mute Canadian wrestler from the early 80s) clause, which states that he should be able to replace an injured Curt Hennig in the US Title tournament. JJ Dillon wants to see the rule book.

Mike Enos/Bobby Duncum Jr. vs. Raven/Perry Saturn

Saturn quickly takes Bobby down to start so it’s off to Enos. Mike takes a beating as well and the bizarre combo starts some fast tagging. Raven kicks Enos into a superkick from Saturn but Enos pops back up and nails Raven again. Duncum comes back in but Saturn punches him into a sunset flip for two. A big boot knocks Raven down and Enos chokes him with a bullrope.

Saturn has to break up a superplex attempt, allowing Raven to make the hot tag. Belly to belly suplexes abound and everything breaks down. Saturn uses a very nice takedown to hook the Rings of Saturn on Bobby but Enos makes a save. Mike nails Saturn with a chair on the floor but it doesn’t have much of an effect. Back in and the hot tag brings in Raven to clean house as everything breaks down again. Duncum accidentally knocks Enos into the Evenflow for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: C+. This was shockingly good for a six minute match on Thunder. They barely stopped moving the entire time with everyone getting to show off a bit. Raven and Saturn work well together and this was the best Duncum has looked since he debuted. This was a very nice surprise.

Benoit and Malenko come in to destroy Raven and Saturn post match. The bell keeps ringing even after they’ve left the ring.

JJ and Flair are in the back when Jericho comes in and asks about the tournament again. Jericho gets his request after a lot of sucking up. He leaves and Flair thinks Jericho wanted to be like him.

Chris Adams vs. Chris Jericho

Tony: “Still to come, Bobby Heenan will read the movie copy. That’ll be in segment 10 and then, later on, Mike Tenay will plug the Hotline again.” Feeling out process to start with Jericho running him over off a shoulder block. The Canadian wins a top wristlock and stuns Adams with a hot shot.

We hit the chinlock for a bit before Adams comes back with a swinging neckbreaker. The announcers argue over a point system as Adams spins out of a Liontamer and enziguris Jericho to the floor. There’s the superkick on the floor and Adams gets two off a high cross body. A catapult sends Jericho into the corner and a belly to back gives Adams another near fall. Jericho quickly takes him down into the Liontamer for the submission.

Rating: C-. This took awhile to get going but Adams’ comeback had some energy to it and the match wasn’t bad after it started rolling. Jericho wasn’t long for WCW but it was nice to see him having some effort here. Adams continues to have a nice role as a jobber making people look good.

Ed Leslie comes in to talk to Flair about a new contract. He doesn’t have much of a plan after wrestling is over. Flair brings up his friendship with Hogan and Ed says they’re very close. The boss makes a match tonight between Hogan and Leslie and if Ed wins, he gets a three more extension for double the pay. If he loses, he’s gone.

Meng/Jerry Flynn vs. Barbarian/Hugh Morrus

Flynn gets double teamed in the back and laid out with a piledriver on the concrete. Meng goes back to help his partner before coming to the ring to start a handicap match. Barbarian and Morrus are easily knocked to the floor but they get their act together and pound Meng down. The announcers get a note about the Hogan vs. Leslie match tonight. Again, would letting them see the videos in the back be such a problem? I never got Bischoff’s fascination with keeping them in the dark.

Anyway, Meng fights both of them off again until we get down to Morrus starting the regular tagging portion. Meng kicks his head off with ease and it’s off to Barbarian for the big showdown. We take a break and come back with Meng being sent into the barricade. They head back inside with the team in control and Morrus dropping an elbow for two.

A side slam gets the same for Barbarian and it’s back to Morrus as this slows WAY down. Meng finally nails a cross body for two on Barbarian but Morrus makes a save. Morrus backdrops Meng into a nice powerbomb from Barbarian as Flynn makes his big heroic return. He breaks up No Laughing Matter and Meng’s Tongan Deathgrip gets the pin on Barbarian.

Rating: D. I for one feel much better about the health and safety of our lord and master Jerry Flynn. Thankfully they keep this stuff on Thunder instead of PPV or Nitro but it doesn’t make Thunder any easier to sit through. The match wasn’t terrible, but it was a very long thirteen minutes to sit through.

Post match Morrus gets the Deathgrip as well.

Now we get a video on Meng. That’s some interesting timing.

Gene brings out Hollywood Hogan for a chat. Hogan is fine with jumping through every hoop Flair sets up for him because Flair is the prize at the end of the tunnel. Gene thinks Flair is scared of Hogan but the title match is official. Cue Ric to tell a fat boy to shut up. Flair calls himself the leader, the boss, and the World Champion. Tonight it’s going to be Hogan vs. Ed Leslie. This would be the third time this match has been announced and the fans are SILENT for Leslie coming out and promising to take Hogan down. Flair yells at some more fans and Hogan says tonight is strictly business.

Chavo Guerrero Jr./Kaz Hayashi vs. Dean Malenko/Chris Benoit

Dean cranks on Kaz’s arm to start but gets caught in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Tony goes into a bizarre heel style speech, threatening to throw Tenay off Nitro if he keeps disagreeing with Flair’s decisions. Off to Benoit vs. Chavo as Tenay threatens to get friends of his own to save his job. Chavo spins out of a powerbomb from Benoit and takes him down with a headscissors. Back to Malenko who gets suplexed as Tony makes fun of Zbyszko. Kaz comes back in and gets caught in a tiger bomb, setting up the Cloverleaf for the submission.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t terrible but what in the world was with the commentary? Tony just started going insane and then they spent the second half of the match ripping on Larry Zbyszko for whatever reason. The wrestling wasn’t terrible but it was little more than a squash, albeit a short one.

Raven and Saturn come out and destroy the Horsemen post match, including putting Benoit through a table.

Hogan talks to the NWO and tells Steiner to take care of Booker T. Stevie says his brother is off limits and the audio is pretty bad here. The Black and White gets in an argument over who is the leader so Hogan makes a battle royal for Monday for the leadership spot. Again. This takes way longer than it should have.

Horace vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Page quickly sends him into the corner and scores with a belly to back suplex. We hit the wristlock on Horace but he nails Page with a right hand to take over. He misses the splash and walks into a clothesline to send him outside. Page nails a plancha and they fight by the barricade as we take a break. Back with them slugging it out in the aisle. Horace sends him into the barricade to take over and chokes on the ropes back inside. A backbreaker gets two on Page but he sends Horace face first into the buckle. Page crotches him against the post and floats around Horace’s shoulders into the Diamond Cutter for the pin.

Rating: D+. Pretty dull match here as Page seems to have forgotten his heel turn. Horace was fine for a punching bag to put Page over and the Diamond Cutter looked fine, but Page wrestling like he always has was strange after what happened on Monday. Not much to see here but that’s to be expected in a glorified squash.

Ed Leslie vs. Hollywood Hogan

Leslie takes him into the corner to start but gets clotheslined for his efforts. Hogan hammers away and loads up the weightlifting belt but gets poked in the eyes. Now it’s Leslie whipping him until they head to the floor where Hogan takes over with right hands. They slug it out on the floor followed by a slugout in the ring with Leslie choking away. A clothesline gets two for Hogan but Leslie suplexes him down for the same. Hogan comes back with the big boot but Flair comes out and trips him up. The Apocalypse doesn’t even put Hogan on the mat so Flair comes in for the DQ.

Rating: D-. As dull as this was, it was still light years better than their messes in 1994. Granted it could be because that match was the main event of the biggest show of the year and this was a six minute Thunder main event. That being said, six minutes of punching and really basic wrestling isn’t enough to get me interested.

Post match Hogan beats up Flair and drops the leg before counting three. The Horsemen run in but Hogan beats up all four of them with ease. There wasn’t even miscommunication or anything where one Horsemen accidentally hit another. Hogan just punched them all down.

The announcers talk about Sting’s announcement to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This was one of the easier episodes to sit through but it follows the PPV formula of falling apart near the end of the show. The Sting announcement is somewhat intriguing, even though WCW has a pretty horrible track record on stuff like that. The wrestling wasn’t too bad and it made the show much easier to sit through, though almost nothing here meant anything.

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Monday Nitro #182
Date: March 29, 1999
Location: Air Canada Centre, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 16,195
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko

Nitro makes it’s Canadian debut here as we’re getting closer to Spring Stampede. We’re pretty much in the same place we were last week as Thunder meant nothing, though there was the development of Arn Anderson walking away from Ric Flair. I’m curious to see how far they can take this promotion down in the next few months. Let’s get to it.

David Flair and Samantha are in a hotel room in black and white with David talking about his dad ducking Hollywood Hogan. She tells him not to worry about Ric.

Tony hypes up a sweepstakes where you can win a Volkswagen Beetle.

The announcers try to talk over the WE WANT BRET chants.

We recap Bret saying he could beat Goldberg in five minutes last week.

Konnan music video. Again.

Konnan vs. Vincent

Konnan rants about Disco until Vincent interrupts him for the start of their match. Vincent gets rammed into the buckle to start and Konnan stomps away. The seated dropkick has Vincent in trouble but he low bridges Konnan to the floor to change control. Back in and we hit the chinlock on Konnan for a good while until he fights up with a belly to belly suplex. A jawbreaker staggers Konnan again but he nails Vincent again. Stevie Ray comes out to distract Vincent, setting up the X Factor and Tequila Sunrise for the submission.

Rating: D. Can we please just end this story already? It stopped being amusing a few weeks ago and I have no idea why it’s continuing. They clearly ran out of places to go with it a long time ago but it’s just kept going anyway. Stevie is the only interesting person in the whole thing but for some reason we keep hearing from Vincent.

Samantha and Hogan laugh about David wanting Hogan to be his dad. Hogan talks about the Fingerpoke of Doom like it was a huge battle because that’s still a thing.

Here’s Hogan to a BIG face pop. He talks about his history here in Toronto and wants to know where his title is. Hogan told the customs agents that he’s going to beat up Ric Flair tonight and wants a title shot. He keeps going for awhile and says the same thing over again. The only interesting point: one of the agents said they saw Sting in Toronto earlier today.

60 seconds with Goldberg.

The announcers talk a bit more.

Tenay had a sitdown interview with Diamond Dallas Page over the weekend. Page says Kimberly is doing fine but he has a herniated disc in his back that has been messing with his legs. He doesn’t care that he was double teamed at the pay per view. Tenay brings up the thirty day stipulation that Steiner mentioned and then was dropped after the match was over and Page says it didn’t count. Little things like that were telling signs about WCW being a mess backstage. Either have the stipulation or don’t bring it up in the first place. It was so confusing that they’re still clarifying it two months later. Page is coming for Steiner.

Kenny Kaos vs. Wrath

The announcers talk about the interview instead of the match and for once I’m fine with that. Feeling out process to start with Kaos taking Wrath down to the mat, sending Wrath crawling for the ropes. Back up and Kaos hits a nice delayed vertical suplex for two but Wrath nails him in the face with a bicycle kick. A dropkick puts Kaos on the floor and they do some weak brawling outside. They head inside again with Wrath choking away before nailing a clothesline.

Tony goes on a big rant about how he spent forever talking about tradition but, based on the crowd reaction, maybe the NWO had the right way of thinking. Somehow this doesn’t come off as a heel turn but rather WCW catching up to reality. We hit the chinlock on Kaos as Tony says that Monday Nitro will take the air at 9pm. They’ve said this before but there’s never been anything about a different name for the first hour. Kaos slams Wrath down for a top rope legdrop. Wrath shrugs it off and hits the Rock Bottom and Meltdown for the pin.

Rating: D. This was long and not all that great. The one thing that stands out to me here is that Kaos was the only one of these two guys to win a title in WCW. You have one half of a bad tag team and a guy that was built up as a possible challenger to Goldberg and the former got a title. In case you can’t tell, there really isn’t much to say about this match.

Samantha asks Nash if the Fingerpoke of Doom was real. Wrestling fans have been wondering about that for years now sweetheart. It sounds like they’re trying to cause a rift between Hogan and Nash, but this is what they’re going with? A blonde saying that the Fingerpoke was “real”? What does that even mean?

Gene brings out Ric Flair, who is promptly booed out of the building. Flair talks about wanting to beat up Tie Domi (Toronto Maple leafs’ enforcer) because he hates Canada. One of the biggest stars in wrestling is here tonight to make a presentation to the President. Flair brings out Page, making me wonder why they did that interview on tape instead of live.

Page wants to know why Flair is acting like Bischoff. Ric says he can do whatever he wants with Page because he has the book. They get in a mini argument over Flair having to call Page a superstar before Flair says Page wants a match with Scott Steiner. The fans boo when Page insults Steiner, sending Page into a rant about how horrible the Canandian fans are and how they support women being thrown out of cars. I really hope this is one night only because trying to turn Page heel after everything Steiner put him through is as dumb as turning Fla….they’re turning Page aren’t they?

Flair makes Page vs. Hogan tonight which draws out Hollywood to say he has a problem with both guys. Page doesn’t care what it takes to get to Steiner because he’ll go through Hogan and then take Flair’s belt. Hogan says he’ll jump through whatever hoops he has to in order to get his belt back. Flair says he’s going to manage Page tonight. Gene calls Page the People’s Champion but Page says don’t believe the hype. Page doesn’t need either guy but we cut to the rafters where Sting is looking down. Flair demands Sting come to the ring. The character development in this segment made my head hurt.

Regular show intro starts hour #2.

Nitro Girls.

Rick Steiner vs. Scott Norton

Norton takes him into the corner for some elbows to the jaw but they fire Steiner up. A hard Steiner Line staggers Norton and another sends him out to the floor. Back in and Rick hammers away in the corner but Norton drops him face first onto the buckle. Rick comes back with the release belly to belly and Scott bails again. We take a break and come back with both guys down. A big German suplex puts Norton down for two and they head outside again. Norton gets posted four times in a row to knock him silly and set up the Steiner Bulldog for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was a hard hitting power match but it was little more than a Rick squash. I’m not sure why they build up Norton like a monster at times but then have him lose this fast to a guy like Rick Steiner. Then again this is WCW, where having your soul crushed means it’s time for people to boo you so it must make sense to them.

Rey and Kidman team up for later.

TV Title: Chris Adams vs. Booker T

Booker is defending of course and grabs a headlock to start. Adams comes back with an armdrag and the champion is impressed. They trade hammerlocks until Booker nails a great looking dropkick to take over. Back up and they shake hands to a chorus of boos. A clothesline in the corner sets up the ax kick for two on Adams. Chris sends him out to the floor and nails a superkick, followed by a powerbomb inside for two. Booker comes back with a series of kicks, finishing Adams off with a missile dropkick to retain.

Rating: C. Adams got to show off here and the match was better as a result. That superkick always looks good and the powerbomb was a nice touch as well. I miss the matches like this one where a champion gets to show off a little bit and defend the title against a challenger that doesn’t have a real chance.

Nitro Girls.

We look back to last week at Mysterio giving Kidman another match at Spring Stampede.

Chris Jericho vs. Jerry Flynn

Jericho talks about growing up in Canada and learning everything he knows there. But now he’s so happy to live in the United States because Canada SUCKS! Flynn kicks him in the face and hits another one in the corner to drop Chris. Jericho comes back with a spinwheel kick of his own and the fans want Bret again. A suplex gets two for Jericho and we hit the chinlock. That goes nowhere so Flynn grabs a leg lock. Jericho quickly breaks it up and goes up top, only to dive into a kick to the ribs. They botch a rollup in the corner so Jericho trips Flynn up in the other corner and puts his feet on the ropes for the pin.

Rating: D. There was more energy to this one than last week but there’s only so much Jericho can do with someone like Jerry Flynn. The match wasn’t the worst ever but Jericho is clearly not caring as he’s about to leave. Then again, can you blame him when this is what he’s stuck with?

Gene hits on Nitro Girl Spice as they plug the Beetle sweepstakes.

Here’s Bret Hart with something to say. He talks about how people seem to be worried about the ratings, but instead of worrying, let’s sing O Canada. Well it’s more reciting but close enough. “Hey Bischoff, put that in your pipe and smoke it.” He’s been in WCW a little over a year and he’s a five time World Champion, but he can’t get a match with anyone. You have Flair and Hogan taking the top spots, even though Hogan is afraid of him. Bret came to WCW to prove a point so let’s cut to the chase. He calls out the big chicken named Goldberg and isn’t going anywhere until he comes out here to face him.

Bret brings up Goldberg’s challenge to Steve Austin (first mention on Nitro), but Bret beat up Austin every time they fought. He takes off his Calgary Hitmen jersey to show off a Maple Leafs jersey, saying this is hockey country. This brings out Goldberg for a spear….and he’s out cold. Bret slowly gets up while Goldberg isn’t moving. He turns Goldberg over and counts a three count before taking off the jersey to reveal a steel plate attached to his ribs. That’s still an awesome moment and showed off Bret’s intelligence. Bret grabs a mic and tells Bischoff he quits. Tony, of course, doesn’t seem interested.

During the break, Bischoff came out but Bret walked right past him. I believe this was a way to write Bret off for groin surgery.

Another video on Buff Bagwell and Scott Steiner splitting up.

Buff Bagwell vs. Norman Smiley

Buff says he and Steiner are no more and that he loves the fans just as much as they love him. Bagwell takes him down a few times and struts a lot. Heenan randomly starts talking about Page and Tony transitions into a discussion about Sting’s appearance. Smiley comes back with some shots in the corner and teases the Big Wiggle. A backdrop and dropkick send Norman outside before hitting some very basic stuff on him back inside.

Smiley blocks a splash with knees though and plants Bagwell with the swinging slam. He rips off Buff’s dance as the announcers get into about the 19th argument of the match over how to pronounce Norman’s name. We hit a chinlock on Bagwell but Norman switches to a neck crank to keep him down. Buff comes back with a sunset flip (including a pull of the trunks) for two. Bagwell makes his comeback with right hands and a dropkick followed by the Blockbuster for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t great but my goodness is Buff easy to like as a face. He’s got the look, he’s got the story, he’s got a flashy finisher. No he won’t light the world on fire but the fans like him based on his neck injury and the sympathy is right there. Why did it take so long for WCW to realize that?

The announcers talk for a bit.

Tag Team Titles: Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko vs. Rey Mysterio Jr./Kidman

Benoit runs Kidman over to start and chops him up against the ropes. Kidman makes the mistake of trying a German suplex so Benoit ducks behind him and punches Kidman in the back of the head. Something like a powerbomb gets two on Chris and it’s off to Malenko vs. Mysterio, wearing blue and gray camouflage overalls. The champions take over on Rey in the corner and the double teaming begins.

Benoit chops Mysterio so hard he breaks one of the suspenders. Rey counters what looked to be a powerbomb attempt but his hurricanrana is countered by Dean coming off the top with a clothesline, added to Benoit’s powerbomb. Rey is still able to kick Dean away though and tags in Kidman to keep things fast paced. Everything breaks down and Kidman gets crotched on top, setting up Dean’s super gutbuster (love that move) for two.

We take a break and come back with Kidman getting sent into the corner, followed by a delayed vertical suplex from Dean for two. Benoit comes back in and goes after Kidman’s sore ribs by draping them over the top rope. Kidman is sent outside so Dean can drive him into the apron. Back inside and Kidman nails a dropkick to take down both Horsemen at the same time and the hot tag brings in Rey.

Everything breaks down and Benoit is thrown to the floor. Rey throws Kidman over the top to take out Benoit and snaps Dean’s throat across the top rope. Here come Raven and Saturn as Dean counters a hurricanrana into the Cloverleaf. Raven comes in and Evenflows Malenko, giving Rey the pin. Wait this was a title match??? Nice job of pointing that out announcers. I had to rewind to see if the referee held them up and he did, but the camera was on a wide shot.

Rating: C+. It’s a good match but man alive what a waste of the Horsemen. They were on fire during the tournament but they’re yet another victim of the “eh let’s just turn them heel” booking. I’d assume it’s because they’re mindless followers of Flair, which is yet another reason to hate Ric’s heel turn. Benoit spent years getting ready to become a champion and he can’t even hold it for three weeks. I can’t blame either guy for leaving when they did.

Spring Break recap video.

Nitro Girls.

Hollywood Hogan vs. Diamond Dallas Page

The fact that these two never had a one on one match on PPV astounds me. Flair is managing Page against DDP’s will. The announcers play up Page dropping the People’s Champion moniker. They slug it out in the corner to start with Hogan taking over via a clothesline. Page tries to come back but gets clotheslined out to the floor as we take a break.

Back with them fighting at the announcers’ area and Page taking over. They head to the stage and Hogan being rammed face first into the big WCW letters, eventually knocking over the right set. Back to the ring and they whip each other with Hogan’s weightlifting belt. Flair tries to help Page and gets punched in the face by his client. Page gets two off a swinging neckbreaker as Flair is going to the top.

The distraction lets Page take over again and he gets two more off a suplex. Hogan pops up and drops elbows to a surprisingly calm reaction. We go submission for a bit with a cross armbreaker on Page, even though he’s face down which would take away a lot of the pain. That goes as far as you would expect and it’s Page coming back with a clothesline for two.

The referee gets bumped in the corner so Hogan hits the big boot but misses the legdrop. Charles Robinson comes in as a replacement but it’s Hulk Up time. Flair accidentally hits Page with one of the worse chair shots I’ve ever seen. Hogan no sells chops and kicks Flair to the floor. He drops the leg but Robinson won’t count. That earns him a beating as the other referee wakes up to count the pin on Page.

Rating: D+. Well that happened. It was a total mess and overbooked like you would expect it to be but it did in fact happen. The booking continues to confuse me and I have a feeling it’s not just because they’re in Canada. So Flair is a heel because he’s crazed with power, Hogan is a heel because he feels like it and Page is leaning towards being a heel…..why? Because he didn’t give up to Steiner? What sense does that make? So now we seem to be heading for Hogan vs. Flair III but Sting might be a factor as well, while Goldberg and Nash have just been dropped from the whole thing. It’s something, though a very confusing something.

Hogan says he’s got a title shot now and tells Big Kev that the Wolfpack is in the house to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Much like with the main event, they seem to be trying but it’s really not paying off. This is another show that really needed to have an hour cut out of it so we didn’t have to sit through whatever that was with Samantha (just have her stand around in revealing outfits and she’ll be fine), boring matches like Steiner vs. Norton and Wrath vs. Kaos, and whatever this overly complicated booking is. I’ll give them this though: this stuff may not make perfect sense, but I’ll take confusing over boring every day.

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Back to commentary with Jonathan Coachman. Yes he did wrestle.

Coach would start his in ring career in late 2003, including a match on Raw, September 1, 2003.

Jerry Lawler vs. Jonathan Coachman

We’re in Louisiana so Coach is wearing a University of Texas jersey. Lawler scores with an early right hand to stop a dancing Coach. Back up and Coach cranks on a headlock but is easily slammed down. Cue Coach’s Heat commentary partner Al Snow who says Coach is in over his head. Back in and Lawler puts on an armbar, so Snow offers to throw in the towel for him. Snow gets Jerry to let go but Coach gets in Snow’s face. Jerry goes outside and of course Snow is evil, sending Lawler into the post and giving Coach the easy pin. I won’t bother rating this due to the time outside, but it was nothing special and only setting stuff up.

Here’s Coach’s PPV debut at Unforgiven 2003. It’s the fallout from the previous match and for the right to call Monday Night Raw.

Jim Ross/Jerry Lawler vs. Al Snow/Jonathan Coachman

The winner to do the announcing for Raw. Yes, they asked people to pay $34.95 for this. There’s no commentary for this. I think I can get by without the extra jokes somehow. The wrestlers start and Lawler kind of botches a rollup. Ok then. The lack of commentary is weird here but then again I’m watching Ross and Coach on PPV. You can hear them shouting at each other a lot better which is weird to hear.

That might be Ross’ big mouth though so there we are. Snow “hits” a clothesline and I say that in the weakest sense of the word hit. Snow, being younger and better at this point, dominates as we’re just waiting on the other guys to come in and make it a comedy match. Coach is the team captain apparently. Oh dear. There’s the piledriver on Snow and JR does commentary from the apron. The foot gets to the ropes but Snow sold that like he had an anvil fall on his head so I can’t complain there.

And it’s Coach time, which has even Snow wondering what the heck he’s doing. As usual, Lawler’s offense is shall we say limited? The middle rope punch hits but Snow makes the save. Ross gets a blind tag and the referee is fine with it I guess. He beats up Coach for awhile and I see why he stayed in the booth for his career.

Coach keeps shouting not in the face which is funny. And here’s Jericho to kick Ross in the head and let Coach and Snow become the Raw announcers tomorrow. Ross would beat Coach in 8 days to get the sanity back. Jericho says this is to get back at Austin for no apparent reason.

Rating: F. Seriously, do I need to explain why this going on for 8 minutes was a bad idea? It was mainly Al Snow vs. Jerry Lawler and someone thought this was a good idea. Here’s the thing: no one really cares about announcers in a national company. Wait scratch that. They do care about them, but only the way they sound. We don’t want to see them in the ring other than a once a year match from Lawler in Memphis. That’s it. Now stop doing this nonsense.

Time for JR to try his luck in a Country Whipping match on Raw, September 29, 2003.

Jim Ross vs. Jonathan Coachman

Before the match, Chris Jericho comes out and joins Al Snow on commentary. Coach gets in an argument with a fan, allowing Ross to get in the first whip. Back in and Coach whips Ross for awhile as this just kind of keeps going. JR finally nails a low blow and whips Coach’s back. There goes the shirt so Jim can whip bare skin. Eric Bischoff tries to come in to no avail, allowing Ross to Stun Coach for the pin.

Rating: D. Even for a match between commentators, there was no way this was going to be good. That being said, at least the Stunner wasn’t terrible. I’m still not sure who thought a battle over who would call Raw was an interesting story, but 2003 never was the most well thought out year for wrestling.

We’ll jump ahead to January 26, 2004 on Raw for a handicap match.

Goldberg vs. Jonathan Coachman/Mark Henry

No DQ as per someone decision. Henry starts of course and shoves Goldberg down with relative ease. Back up and Goldberg fakes him out by offering to hit the ropes before just nailing Henry with a clothesline. Mark pops to his feet and crushes Goldberg in the corner with a splash. We hit the bearhug for a few moments before Goldberg easily breaks the hold and powerslams Henry down. Now it’s Coach’s turn for the two move combination and the easy pin.

Rating: D. Were you really expecting anything else here? You don’t need a story for something like this as it was all dominance by Goldberg with Henry just there as a hurdle for Goldberg to get over before he can rip into Coach. I’d assume Henry vs. Goldberg was coming in the next few weeks.

Coach would actually get a pay per view match at Backlash 2004.

Jonathan Coachman vs. Tajiri

You read that right. Tajiri misted Coach a few weeks ago, then Coach cost Tajiri a match against Christian. Coach armdrags him down to start and Tajiri isn’t sure what to make of that. Coach keeps trying to tie him up but Tajiri keeps firing away kicks. They go to the floor and Tajiri kicks the post to change the flow of the match. Back in and Coach cannonballs down onto the leg and Tajiri is in trouble. Coach hooks a leg bar but Tajiri reverses into a kind of half crab which is pretty quickly broken up.

The leg bar goes on again so Tajiri kicks him in the back. Another to the face and the hold is finally broken up. Coach goes up and gets crotched, allowing a baseball slide dropkick to the back of the head to connect. Handspring elbow sets up another dropkick and it’s rapid fire strike time. Coach grabs a cheating rollup for two. Like an idiot, Coach charges at Tajiri in the corner and is put in the Tarantula for his efforts. Garrison Cade comes out and distracts Tajiri for no apparent reason and Coach rolls him up for the pin.

Rating: D+. You know, this wasn’t half bad. There’s no reason for it to be on PPV, but the match wasn’t all that bad. Coach kept it simple by going after the legs which is the best thing to do against a martial artist so I can’t fault him there. The ending was stupid but this was such a big surprise that it wasn’t a big deal.

And another one at Bad Blood 2004.

Coach vs. Eugene

I think I smell a comedy match. Eugene’s song is so completely catchy that I’m going to have it in my head all night now. We get a massive Eugene chant. See what I mean? The guy was OVER. JR pushes home the idea that we all grew up wrestling fans and how cool it would be to get to wrestle someday on PPV. How can you not love that?

The fact that he really was a talented technical wrestler (in OVW he more or less wrestled the exact same style Benoit did and made it work perfectly well. The guy can go in the ring.) made it even better because it was actually believable that he was just imitating what he had seen over the years. Yes, I was a huge Eugene mark and still am for his old stuff.

In a funny spot Coach tries to shake his hand and gets brought to his knees by Eugene’s strength. In a unique spot, Eugene goes for a monkey flip and then locks his legs around his arms to make himself into a little ball. Coach rolls him around for a bit and then as he’s yelling at Eugene, Eugene pops his arm up, grabs Coach and flips him over with his legs for a rollup. It sounds stupid but that was awesome. I’m laughing my head off at this.

The fans start another Eugene chant to answer why he’s on this show. There’s nothing wrong with a comedy character. We get a criss cross and Eugene hits the floor and gets a teddy bear from the hot chick I mentioned earlier. Coach apparently doesn’t realize Eugene is gone for about 30 seconds.

Apparently he didn’t notice the overly large man at ringside in incredibly small electric blue tights hugging a stuffed bear, but then again I’m no coach. Anyone fighting Eugene had such an easy time getting heat. THEY’RE HITTING A DISABLED GUY. And a random hot chick in a bikini brings out a plate of cookies.

Coach, who called the girl out, slams Eugene into the cookies. Coach slams Eugene into the turnbuckle, and it’s time. Eugene Hulks Up, but here’s Garrison (Lance) Cade for the interference. He rips the bear from earlier in half and Coach jumps the distracted Eugene. It doesn’t work though and a Rock Bottom and People’s Elbow ends this. Cade gets an awful Stunner after it. Regal comes out to congratulate him and Coach takes a somewhat better but still terrible Stunner.

Rating: B+. If anyone agrees here I’ll be shocked. I know it’s stupid but I love this guy. When he stays in comedy territory, it’s just a fun character and it works every time for me. Like I said, few are going to agree and I don’t care. Then they had to screw everything up by making him serious because WWE.

One more from Vengeance 2004.

Tajiri/Rhyno vs. Jonathan Coachman/Garrison Cade

Uh…yeah. Seriously how do I even talk about this? This is like an opener on Heat, but a bad one. This was announced on Heat. Seriously, what was the thought osn this? To my great shock and awe, this has a backstory. For no apparent reason Eugene was made GM of Raw for a night and had a game of musical chairs for a title match. Tajiri was eliminated first and Coach got the last seat. This fell out of that.

Tajiri is actually popular. Coach wisely runs from Rhyno. I’ve never seen the appeal of Cade. The guy just isn’t that good and that’s all there is to it. Oh look: Rhyno vs. Garrison Cade on Pay Per View. Coach and Cade beat up Tajiri. Again, is there a reason this is happening? I mean was there NOTHING else to try?

After even more boring as all goodness stuff, we get green mist from Tajiri to Cade. Apparently the referee seeing green stuff on Cade’s formerly blonde hair is perfectly fine. This is making my head hurt and I’m not even fifteen minutes into it. Cade gets gored, Coach gets kicked and I need a stiff drink.

Rating: D. This was a glorified squash and it was just boring as heck. Tajiri was always good for some stuff, but Cade and Coach? Really? That’s the best you can come up with? This was one of the dumbest openers of all time and it’s also one of the least interesting. I mean just think about it: Tajiri and Rhyno vs. Garrison Cade and Jonathan Coachman. Think about that for a minute.

Back to Raw on August 30, 2004.

Rhyno/Tajiri vs. La Resistance/Coach

Rob Conway (who, as of this writing on December 17, 2013, is the NWA World Champion of all people) pounds on Rhyno to start before it’s off to Sylvan Grenier for some neck cranking. The French Canadian tag champions hold Rhyno for a slip from Coach for two as this is already boring. Back to Grenier for a chinlock until Rhyno fights up and makes his comeback with clotheslines. Tajiri keeps getting kicked off the apron to keep him out as Rhyno Gores Coach down. Rhyno walks into Au Revoir (spinning suplex/side slam combo) for the pin.

Rating: D-. Oh my goodness how bad was the tag division at this point? I’m assuming Tajiri was injured or something here as he never came in at all. The match was really dull stuff with La Resistance being one of the least interesting multiple time champions ever and having no opponents of note at all. Terribly uninteresting match.

Another Raw, this time on November 15, 2004.

Randy Orton vs. Jonathan Coachman

Coach immediately heads outside but Orton catches him in the crowd as the music is still playing. They head inside and the beating is already on with Coach getting crotched on the top rope. A bit right hand sets up the RKO for the easy pin.

One last pay per view, with Coach competing against a replacement at Taboo Tuesday 2005.

Batista vs. Jonathan Coachman

Vader and Goldust are just with Coach here and aren’t actual participants. Vader is embarrassingly fat here. The street fight breaks 90% which is relatively low all things considered. Batista is Smackdown Champion here as if we needed any more assurance of the destruction here. The lackeys are in the ring too but it’s not like it really matters. This is back when Batista is still one of the hottest things in the world and just a freaking machine.

Goldust gets a kendo stick and beats up Big Dave with it and coach grabs a belt from the timekeeper. Batista gets loose after being whipped and it’s whipping time all over again as Batista of course destroys everything in sight, even managing what was supposed to be a spinebuster on Vader but he’s just too fat. Batista gets him up the second time though and it’s decent considering the size of that fat. Batista Bomb kills Coach to end it.

Rating: N/A. Given one week to set this up, this was about as good as it was going to get. Batista is no Austin, but then again who is? At least they got a big star to fill in which is as nice as they could have done. This was all on Austin and WWE did what they could for once, which is a very rare sight for them.

Off to the Middle East for a match at Tribute to the Troops 2005.

Intercontinental Title: Ric Flair vs. Jonathan Coachman

Coach actually elbows him down and stomps away before choking with a shirt. Flair pops up and takes Coach over with a snapmare. He drops the knee and kicks Coach low before putting on the Figure Four for the fast pin.

DX was feuding with Vince McMahon in 2006 so here’s Coach as a sacrifice.

Shawn Michaels vs. Jonathan Coachman

Shawn puts on a HHH skull cap to start before slowly punching him in the corner. There go Coach’s pants and Shawn follows up with an atomic drop. Shawn drops the top rope elbow but the Spirit Squad comes in…not for the DQ. Instead there’s Sweet Chin Music to Coach but Umaga comes in for the real DQ. Not enough to rate but it was an angle instead of a match.

What would a Wrestler of the Day be without a Cena match? From September 24, 2007 on Raw.

John Cena vs. Jonathan Coachman

Tables match. Coach is in a suit after trying to get Cena to relinquish the WWE Title. Vince said not so fast and made a tables match. Cena punches him down and loads up an AA but changes his mind. Instead he puts Coach in the STF and then the AA through the table ends this.

One more time, from November 2, 2007 on Smackdown.

Mick Foley vs. Jonathan Coachman

There’s also a special referee in the form of Mr. McMahon. Hornswoggle sneaks into the ring for some reason…oh I get it. Mr. Hornswoggle McMahon is guest referee. The referee beats up Coach in the corner before Foley adds in some shots of his own. Socko knocks Coach out and the Tadpole Splash gives Foley the pin. Comedy stuff.

Coach falls into the category of “big mouth who is fun to beat up.” There’s nothing to the matches of course but there wasn’t supposed to be. He’s a comedy character and little more than that, so why try doing anything other than just having him get beaten up time after time?

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Thunder
Date: March 25, 1999
Location: Rupp Arena, Lexington, Kentucky
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

We’re still in my hometown for the taped version. After last week I don’t even want to imagine how bad this one could be but it can’t be worse than some of the stuff they’ve done before. As expected, WCW is coming off a pretty lame show earlier this week as almost nothing happened on Nitro. We’re a few weeks away from Spring Stampede and a lot of the card has already been set. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

The announcers welcome us to the show and promise us a World Title match tonight with Ric Flair defending against…….Barry Windham. Yes, in 1999 Barry Windham is getting a World Title shot. Ten years ago this would be must see TV, but why in the world are we seeing it now? Oh of course: it was awesome ten years ago and that means everyone today is going to love it. I’m sure the match will be decent at worst, but man alive it doesn’t make me want to sit through two hours to get there.

Scotty Riggs vs. Jerry Flynn

This is going to be a very long two hours. Scotty takes him down with an armdrag and does the Crane pose. Jerry comes back and Scotty bails to the floor as the stalling begins. Back in and Flynn scores with a chop followed by some of his martial arts stuff. Jerry misses a bicycle kick in the corner and Riggs goes after his legs. This goes on for a good while as he lays on Flynn’s leg before getting small packaged for two. More leg work eats up time as we hit an Indian deathlock on Jerry.

Flynn fights up with some punches, only to be dropkicked in the knee to get us right back where we were. Things stay slow with Riggs kicking at the knee and using his wide variety of clotheslines and punches. Flynn finally counters a clothesline into the cross armbreaker for the submission. Mike: “The winning streak lives on!” This would be a winning streak of zero, as he lost to Meng on Nitro in his last televised appearance.

Rating: D-. I know I sounded annoyed by Flair vs. Windham, but I at least get the thinking behind it. This was nine minutes where I could feel my brain melting away as I watched each boring moment. Riggs just isn’t any good and never has been, but Flynn is a guy whose employment I do not understand.

Video of Bagwell and Steiner splitting up.

Mike Enos vs. Wrath

Wrath feels like a relic of the past despite being on fire about three months ago. He takes Enos into the corner for some knees to the ribs but Enos grabs a quick armdrag. Wrath puts on a headlock before running Enos over with a shoulder block. Enos escapes a suplex and grabs a rollup for two before getting knocked out to the floor. We actually get something interesting as Wrath hits his cannonball off the apron and we take a break.

Back with Wrath scoring with a top rope clothesline for two before we hit the chinlock. Enos fights up and nails a superplex, giving him a target in Wrath’s back. He cannonballs down on it a few times and puts on a half crab. A rope grab forces the break before both guys try cross bodies. Enos scores with a neckbreaker but walks into a Rock Bottom followed by the Meltdown for the pin.

Rating: D+. Not a bad power match here but it was too long again. Wrath fell through the floor like few others you’ll ever seen and it’s kind of a shame. Enos on the other hand never went anywhere in WCW, but he wasn’t bad in the ring. He could wrestle a decent power match and didn’t screw up anything big. That’s more than you can say for a lot of jobbers.

Video on Lex Luger.

Fit Finlay vs. Chris Adams

Oh yeah we’re on a taped Thunder. Finlay hammers him down to start and drives in some elbows to the face. We hit an early chinlock but Adams avoids an elbow drop. Not that it matters as Finlay takes him down and cranks on the arms. Back up again and Adams scores with an armdrag to send Finlay out to the floor. An enziguri staggers Fit and we hit a sleeper from Adams.

Finlay escapes with a jawbreaker and we hit another chinlock. An elbow drop sets up a third chinlock as this show is putting everyone to sleep. Adams comes back with a belly to back suplex for two. He nails the superkick but it knocks Finlay out to the floor. Back in and Finlay backdrops him out to the floor before ducking a high cross body. Finlay plants him with the tombstone for the pin.

Rating: D+. It was a faster paced match but it’s the same problem with every match tonight: it’s so basic and slow paced that there’s nothing to get interested in. The superkick looked good but it was forgotten a few seconds later. This was the seconds glorified squash in a row, but it was slightly shorter to make things easier.

Video on Benoit/Malenko.

Blitzkreig vs. Kidman

Thank goodness for the cruiserweights. A dropkick puts Kidman down early but he comes back with a running clothesline. They fight over a wristlock until Blitzkreig is sent to the apron for a springboard missile dropkick. The fans are so bored that they don’t even respond. A corkscrew Asai moonsault takes Kidman down and finally gets a reaction, albeit a small one. Back in and Kidman hits a running layout powerbomb for two, followed by a slingshot legdrop.

We take a break and come back with a preview (Ringside Release) of a TBS original movie. Oh and make sure to get in the closing graphics before we see more of the match. Back with Kidman in control before Blitzkreig hits a very flippy kick to the back of the head. Off to a head scissors on the mat to keep Kidman in trouble. A standing twisting moonsault gets two for Blitzkreig but Kidman comes back with a sitout Pedigree.

Kidman nails a middle rope legdrop and we hit the chinlock. Back up and Blitzkreig nails a quick dropkick but tries a powerbomb. The obvious faceplant from Kidman gets two but Blitzkreig gets two off a spinning victory roll. Kidman gets crotched on the top and Blitzkreig slips a bit while trying a top rope huricanrana. A corkscrew moonsault misses and Kidman hits the Shooting Star for the pin.

Rating: C. It’s the best match of the night by about 500 miles but it’s nothing special. I can see why Blitzkreig was so revered at this point, but his stuff just doesn’t hold up. He’s the stereotypical flippy 90s cruiserweight who adds flips instead of doing good moves. For a comparison, look at someone like Kidman who does one flip move but consistently has better matches and gets bigger pushes. He may not be as flashy, but he’s a far more complete wrestler.

This Week In WCW Motorsports.

Horace vs. Kaz Hayashi

Hayashi is still doing the Glacier entrance and it still changes nothing about him. Horace takes him into the corner to start but can’t throw Kaz across the ring. Some dropkicks and a spinwheel kick get one on Horace but he nails Kaz with an elbow to the jaw. Hayashi is thrown outside and into the barricade a few times.

Back in and Horace tosses Kaz around a bit until he comes back with a bulldog. Kaz goes up but dives into a clothesline to put him back down. Horace loads up a powerbomb but gets hurricanranaed out to the floor. A suicide dive hits Horace’s knees but he’s able to hit a missile dropkick for two back inside. Horace comes back with an electric chair and the H Bomb (Samoan drop) for the pin.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t terrible actually, but as usual the stakes are just so low that it’s hard to get into the match. They did a decent enough power vs. speed formula and Kaz’s dropkicks were nice, but at the end of the day it’s a glorified Horace Hogan squash. That’s not the easiest thing in the world to get behind.

Recap of the US Title tournament so far.

US Title Tournament First Round: Saturn vs. Booker T.

This has to be more interesting. We stall to start with Saturn slowly taking off the top of his dress and then walking around for awhile. Booker takes him down for a nice sequence on the mat before a flying forearm puts Saturn down. A hook kick to the jaw does the same and of course we have to take a break. Back with Booker getting lowbridged to the floor and having to avoid some flying stairs. They head inside again with Saturn putting on a bearhug of all things.

A big superkick drops Booker and we hit the seated abdominal stretch. Back up and a t-bone suplex gets two on Mr. T. and Saturn puts on a sleeper. He lets go of the hold for no apparent reason and charges into Booker’s boot in the corner. Booker does the same thing to Saturn’s boot and gets taken over by a German suplex. Saturn misses a top rope splash and Booker hits all of his usual stuff, finishing Saturn with a rollup and a pretty fast count.

Rating: C-. Not bad again but the lack of energy was really glaring. Booker winning was of course the right choice, but it still doesn’t make for a good match. Neither guy looked all that interested in being out there and the finish made things look even worse. Saturn’s dress continues to make me scratch my head, even after hearing his explanation for it.

60 seconds with Goldberg.

WCW World Title: Barry Windham vs. Ric Flair

Tenay briefly mentions the history between the two but doesn’t mention their classics from ten years earlier. The announcers aren’t sure why Hennig didn’t get a shot but Barry does. Barry quickly takes him down with a headlock but Flair asks for a mic. He says he’s going to take five women home and make women out of them tonight. Also there’s a fat boy yelling at him from the front row.

Back in and we hit another headlock before a basic sequence results in Flair getting knocked down by a shoulder. Windham cranks on an armbar before Flair chops him in the corner. We take a break and come back with Barry holding Flair in the Figure Four. Tony: “You can see the Figure Four on but I think Windham has Flair in the hold.” Good to know that Tony goes for popcorn during the breaks. Barry hits a running lariat and a backslide gets two. Flair breaks up a sunset flip with a right hand and they slug it out.

A clothesline puts Flair down for two and Ric gets in Charles Robinson’s face for some reason. The champ suplexes Windham down but Barry comes back with one of his own. Robinson counts very slowly and then does the same after the superplex. Windham gets up to yell some more despite Flair not moving. Robinson trips Barry up in the confusion and gets put in the Figure Four, only to have Arn Anderson pull Barry into the ropes. Arn whispers to Barry and Windham walks out to end the show.

Rating: C. It wasn’t bad but it was mainly kicking and punching until the ending picked up a bit. The angle at the end is somewhat interesting as you have Flair’s closest friend having enough of Ric’s cheating, despite doing about a hundred times worse back in his day. The match was nothing great but it could have been far worse. The audience didn’t get interested though.

Overall Rating: D. Believe it or not there were some things that were far better about this episode than the previous editions. Above all else, they cut WAY down on the video packages. It was common to have nearly half an hour spent on those packages so having them cut down to maybe five minutes was a very nice change of pace.

It spent a lot more time on the wrestling, but that brings us to the biggest problem: there was a lot of wrestling, and the majority of it was really boring. The key word there is boring, because most of it wasn’t bad. It’s just clear that this show doesn’t mean anything to WCW and it’s very dull to sit through.

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Monday Nitro #181
Date: March 22, 1999
Location: Club LeVela, Panama City, Florida
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko, Tony Schiavone

It’s Spring Break Out and things are kind of fresh for me as well. I did every show so far this month in the span of a week so this is my first WCW in weeks. That might be the best thing possible as WCW is getting harder and harder to take. However, it seems like we’re setting up a fourway between Flair, Goldberg, Hogan and Nash, which sounds pretty awesome actually. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Flair ranting about how awesome he is as champion and boss, affirming his heel turn and setting up the four way standoff from last week. It still doesn’t look like Flair walked out.

The pool setting is always cool.

We see clips of the threeway hardcore match at Uncensored. I have no idea why as it has nothing to do with the opening match.

Bull Payne vs. Van Hammer

Payne is a bald guy in leather and Hammer is a hippie. Hammer takes him into the corner to start and we’re already getting a BORING chant. A shoulder block and baseball slide put Bull on the floor and they try to throw each other in the water. Back in and Payne headbutts Hammer a few times as Tenay shills his Hotline. A double clothesline puts both guys down before Hammer is sent to the floor for another clothesline. Payne gets two off a frog splash but walks into a cobra clutch slam and the Flashback (whip spinebuster) for the pin.

Rating: D. Again, this is how they decided to use their hour advantage on Raw. The match was really dull stuff too as I have no idea who Payne was and I have almost no reason to care about Hammer. This was a Saturday Night match but instead it’s the opening contest on Nitro. It’s becoming more and more obvious why this company is falling through the floor.

Video of Mysterio winning the Cruiserweight Title last week in a great match.

Mysterio is here live and talks about how much he loves this party town. Kidman can have a rematch at Spring Stampede.

Clip of the Miss Nitro contest. Buff Bagwell and Saturn are judges.

Music video on the beach stuff.

Disco Inferno, in an intertube, doesn’t like this town because a girl in a wet t-shirt contest was heavier than he was. The interviewer (Ricky Rachman, the guy doing all the Spring Break stuff tonight) doesn’t care for Disco’s video so here it is again. A match is made for Spring Stampede.

Video on Scott Steiner and Buff Bagwell splitting up.

Finlay goes to see Rick Steiner and they want to fight tonight. This lasted eight seconds.

Video on the four way staredown and main event tag match from last week.

Goldberg did some stuff with NASCAR this week.

Hak interrupts the Goldberg package and wants to be known as “Hardcore Hak: the King of Extreme.” If the fans think Goldberg is extreme, he’ll show you extreme tonight.

60 seconds with Goldberg.

WCW is returning to QVC (home shopping network) with special guest Sting.

Psychosis/Silver King/El Dandy/La Cucharacha vs. La Parka/Damien/Lizmark Jr./Super Calo

Tenay isn’t sure who Cucharacha is, though he’s in a Konnan flannel shirt. I think you can figure it out from here. Cucharacaha starts with La Parka and everything breaks down just a few seconds in. Dandy and Silver King nail a double dropkick before it’s off to Psychosis for a guillotine legdrop and two. La Parka comes back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and everything breaks down again. We wind up with Damien throwing Dandy around until it’s a standoff.

Back to Cucharacha vs. Calo with the newcomer getting kicked in the face. Lizmark comes in and misses a splash in the corner, allowing King to chop him over and over. Lizmark misses a moonsault and gets superkicked as Tony says they’re missing a lot of their moves. King is knocked outside for a big plancha from Lizmark. La Parka and Psychosis throw themselves to the floor and Calo dives onto Psychosis for good measure. Back in and literally everyone but La Cucharacha misses a dive until La Cucharacha Stuns all of his opponents and pins Damien.

Rating: D+. This was odd indeed with the missing sequence being the big moment at the end. Why in the world would you have a bunch of guys look inept for the sake of a comedy angle? I’m sure you can guess who was under the mask but why do that when he’s already got a story going on?

It’s Disco Inferno if that wasn’t clear.

Video on the Mr. Nitro competition.

Regular opening for hour #2.

Nitro Girls.

Flair and JJ were outside earlier today and Flair wants to wrestle tonight. He’s going to challenge the entire company in a lottery style drawing. Ric whispers to JJ to put in a lot of cruiserweights.

Dusty Rhodes is now a consultant and doesn’t think much of Flair’s recent actions. After the issues with Bischoff, Flair promised to make Dusty Rhodes the Commissioner of WCW. Then it became him replacing Larry Zbyszko but that didn’t happen either. Maybe Dusty should have replaced Mike Tenay, but that was another oversight. Dusty calls himself a rap master and says Flair is eating off a table that Dusty set. Flair may be commissioner, but Dusty is still the bull of the woods.

Gene brings out Flair but before the champion can get anywhere, Raven of all people interrupts and asks for a title shot. Flair almost immediately grants a title shot, but makes it Raven/Kanyon vs. Benoit/Malenko for the Tag Team Titles. Kanyon isn’t here tonight so Raven says he’ll beat them himself. That was very abrupt. Flair keeps going and says he’ll put everyone’s name in a hat and draw out a name for a World Title shot.

The announcers recap the top stories.

Rick Steiner vs. Fit Finlay

I believe this was supposed to be hardcore but it isn’t announced as such. They fight up against the ropes to start with Finlay nailing him with some uppercuts. Steiner takes him down to the mat with ease and tries to wrap Finlay up, only to have Fit roll to the ropes. A nerve hold has Rick in trouble and we take a break. Back with a slow motion slugout until Finlay cranks on Rick’s arms. Rick is sent to the floor and pounded in the chest, followed by a top rope ax handle back in the ring. There’s almost no effect though as Rick comes back with a Steiner Line and a belly to belly, followed by the Steiner Bulldog for the pin.

Rating: C-. Better match than I was expecting here but nothing all that great. At the end of the day, this had the same problems that Nitro had with almost every show has at some point or another: why should I care? They built this up with both guys saying they were tougher and then we see them fight for four minutes in a nothing match. That’s the best they can do? I see no reason to care about this and the match was nothing all that special.

Nitro Girls.

Vampiro vs. Juventud Guerrera

Juvy chops away to start before nailing a nice headscissor takeover. Something like an AA takes Juvy down and a powerbomb out of the corner gets two. Guerrera sends him out to the floor and we take a break. Back to this very slow match with Vampiro chopping in the corner and backdropping him out to the floor. A belly to belly gets two on Juvy and Vampiro cranks on his leg for a bit to no effect.

Vampiro hits a nice helicopter bomb but misses a twisting moonsault instead of covering. Juvy misses a springboard legdrop but pops up and slams Vampiro down. Vampiro crotches him to break up the 450, setting up a gutwrench superplex for two. It doesn’t matter all that much as Juvy nails a wicked Juvy Driver for the pin.

Rating: D+. The more I see of Vampiro the more I wonder what I was thinking back in the day. He doesn’t hold up and seems to not care in the ring for the most part. It takes a lot to drag Guerrera down at this point but Vampiro did it. Maybe he’ll get better when he gets some mic time, but this really didn’t do it for me.

Rachman brings out the winner of Miss Nitro: Julie Williams, some college chick who isn’t all that great looking. She doesn’t know how to talk but the NWO comes out with its own army of women in swimsuits. They chase Rachman off and say it’s time for the NWO Miss Spring Break contest. There’s a woman missing so Hogan does some counting. The fans want tops removed, but Nash says he can’t because it’s too cold. He asks for the eighth woman to come out and here are David Flair and Samantha.

She takes off her dress and of course blows away every other girl in the ring. Rachman is brought back in and introduces Miss Nitro again, but Nash wants him to announce a Miss NWO. When he won’t Nash loads him up for the Jackknife but gives him one more chance. Rachman immediately picks Samantha (Nash: “Sable eat your heart out.”) and this finally ends.

Goldberg vs. Hardcore Hak

Hak hammers him out to the floor to start but Goldberg no sells left hands back inside. Another leverage move sends Goldberg outside again for more punching but Goldberg slaps on a cross armbreaker back in the ring. That goes nowhere so Hak brings in the weapons, which only seem to tick Goldberg off. The Russian legsweep is easily countered and it’s the spear and Jackhammer for the easy pin. This was typical Goldberg.

Gene brings out Bret Hart for a chat. Bret talks about being upset over losing his reputation. He’s been here over a year and he’s already sick and tired of people like Flair sticking his nose in Bret’s business. Okerlund brings up a possible match with Hogan but Bret doesn’t think it’s ever going to happen.

Gene tries Kevin Nash instead, but Bret says he’s proven he can beat Nash for years now. With those names going nowhere, Gene suggests Goldberg. Bret accuses Goldberg of never being in the ring with a real technical wrestler. He wants Goldberg to get in the ring with him one time and says he could beat Goldberg in five minutes. This is already more interesting than anything else Bret has done in WCW.

Nitro Girls, dressed as male wrestlers for some reason.

Horace vs. Vincent

From what I can tell, Raw was airing Rock vs. Mankind at this time. Vincent says Horace is just a nephew, earning him a forearm to the face. Horace hiptosses him out to the floor and a big boot puts him right back outside again. Back in and Vincent grabs a quick neckbreaker for two, only to walk into another big boot. Stevie Ray comes out as Vincent and Horace ram heads. Ray shoves Horace into a small package, giving Vincent the pin.

Rating: D-. This story was fun for awhile but now it’s just another boring string of matches that keeps going with no end in sight. Stevie won the bad match at Uncensored to become the boss and now that just doesn’t mean anything. This isn’t entertaining anymore. Now it’s just one more reason to change the channel to Raw.

Brian Adams comes out and yells at Ray post match.

It’s time for the drawing for the World Title shot later in the night. The wrestlers are around the pool with numbered cards. JJ pulls out #23 and it’s that jam up guy El Dandy. However, Dandy is hurt so he gives his card to Rey Mysterio Jr. Flair says Rey isn’t in this because he’s a champion and yells at JJ for screwing up. Rey won’t leave so Flair says this is at his own risk. Mysterio will get a shot later tonight.

Video on the Horsemen, set to the Hardcore Holly’s music. I’ve heard that in several packages before so it must be public domain.

Tag Team Titles: Raven vs. Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko

Raven is going this alone. Thankfully the Horsemen didn’t leave after being in the ring before the commercial and stomp Raven as he comes in. It’s officially Benoit starting but Malenko quickly comes in for a double spinebuster. Dean puts on the Cloverleaf in the middle of the ring but lets it go for no apparent reason. Benoit comes back in and hooks the Crossface but lets it go as well.

A powerbomb/top rope clothesline combo knocks Raven senseless but Saturn walks down to the ring and gets in the champions’ faces. He suplexes Benoit and Malenko but Benoit breaks up the Rings of Saturn. Things settle down with Dean nailing a leg lariat on Saturn before bringing Benoit in for some chops. The Horsemen keep control with a snap suplex from Benoit and a chinlock from Dean.

A double back elbow drops Saturn but Raven gets up and starts cleaning house. Everything breaks down and Saturn rolls through the Crossface into the Rings of Saturn, drawing in Dean with a belt, but Raven nails him with the other belt. The bell rings and the fans think it’s a submission but the referee says it’s a DQ for the belt shot.

Rating: C-. The match was entertaining but it really doesn’t make the new champions look all that great. Then again this is WCW where they turned the World Champion and Tag Team Champions heel about a month after they were the hottest acts in the company because….why did they do that again? Anyway this should set up a rematch at Spring Stampede.

We recap the Miss NWO contest earlier and I can’t complain about Samantha in a swimsuit.

Video of Flair stripping Scott Hall of the US Title and announcing a tournament. We also get clips of Meng beating Bam Bam Bigelow in the first match on Thunder.

US Title Tournament First Round: Scott Steiner vs. Chris Jericho

This has potential even though it’s heel vs. heel. Jericho comes out wearing a sash with Japanese writing on it. Steiner shoves him around with ease to start before dropping to his knees to pose. He takes too long though as Jericho pops up and springboard dropkicks Steiner out to the floor.

Jericho goes outside though and is sent into the steps for his efforts to give Steiner control again. Back in and another missile dropkick puts Steiner down for two. Jericho gets the same off a middle rope back elbow followed by the Lionsault for the third straight two. Steiner easily counters the Liontamer and hits Jericho low, setting up the Recliner for the submission.

Rating: C-. Much better match than I was expecting, even though it was clear Jericho’s soul died about two months ago. I can’t blame him for leaving when he did as WCW wasn’t going to do anything with him. Steiner didn’t seem particularly motivated here either, but the action wasn’t half bad.

WCW World Title: Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Ric Flair

I’ll only refer to Flair as champion. Rey offers a handshake but Flair tells him to get out of here. Feeling out process to start until Rey trips him up and nails a legdrop before sending Flair into the corner. There’s the Flair Flop but Ric throwing Rey out to the floor. That goes nowhere as Rey comes back in with a dropkick and a bad looking springboard seated senton for two.

We get a chase on the floor with Arn Anderson nailing a clothesline to give Flair control. A knee drop has Rey in trouble and Flair grabs a leg for two. Rey gets two of his own off a quick rollup but Flair stomps him down in the corner. A big elbow drop sets up some right hands to Rey’s unmasked face. Rey fights back again and hits a dropkick, followed by the top rope hurricanrana, only to have Anderson pull the referee out to the floor for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This was another nothing match with the guys going through the motions for about seven minutes before the lame ending. Mysterio clearly wasn’t going to win the title and Flair didn’t even go after the leg. It fits in perfectly with the theme of the night: a watchable match that meant nothing.

Flair is sent into the pool to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. The show was watchable in spite of itself. As I said in the main event, there was no effort or energy put in all night. Everything interesting that happened last week was absent here in favor of one off matches that didn’t set up anything. Goldberg vs. Hart coming sounds good, but the rest of the show was meaningless, although not horrible.

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Today is someone who could have been huge had it not been for some injuries and insanity: Scott Steiner.

This is going to be more Scott Steiner than the Steiner Brothers but I’m sure there’s going to be some crossover.

We’ll open things up with a rare match from before Scott came to WCW. This is from the WWA promotion out of Indianapolis and Scott is the WWA World Champion, putting this at some point between August of 1986 and March of 1987.

Scott Rextiener/Rex Bodie vs. Sheik Saad/Chris Carter

Steiner is the only one I know. Scott armdrags Carter down to start and it’s quickly off to Bodie for some arm work of his own. The evil foreigner Saad comes in and drops an ax handle to Bodie before putting on a nerve hold. The heel manager Dark Angel comes out for a distraction as Carter takes over on the nerve hold. Back to Saad for the third nerve hold in a row, only to have Rex tag in Steiner to clean house.

Everything breaks down and Scott powerslams Saad for no cover. The heels cheat again and Saad puts on yet another nerve hold. Scott pretty casually gets up and tags in Bodie, who is quickly sent to the floor. Steiner comes in sans tag and gets sent into the Dark Angel, drawing commentator Jerry Graham up to beat up the Angel. Graham lays out Saad and Steiner gets the pin.

Rating: D. This was pretty horrible as there was no flow or chemistry to be seen and the heels didn’t know anything but shoulders to the ribs and nerve holds. Steiner didn’t get to show off much here and I’m not really surprised that I haven’t seen much from this promotion, which actually dates back to the 60s.

It was soon off to the NWA where Scott joined his brother Rick to form the Steiner Brothers. This is one of their first major matches, from Clash of the Champions VII.

Mike Rotunda/Kevin Sullivan vs. Steiner Brothers

The Varsity Club name has been dropped by this point and the team would be split very soon. Rotunda is already being called Captain Mike which would be his next gimmick. This is also the first major appearance for the Steiners as a team, with Scott joining his older brother Rick. The Steiners are part of Eddie Gilbert’s stable, meaning they have Missy Hyatt in their corner.

Scott and Kevin get things going with the powerful Scott sending Sullivan into the corner and taking him down with a clothesline. Rick and Mike come in and Rotunda tastes some hard right hands. Things settle down and Scott scores with a powerslam, sending Sullivan to the corner for a tag to Rotunda. Rick comes in as well to the delight of the crowd and takes Mike’s head off with a clothesline. Back to the headlock but Mike grabs a few rollups for two each.

A suplex finally breaks the hold and it’s back to Sullivan who gets clotheslined as well. Rick drops to all fours and barks a lot before it’s back to Scott vs. Rotunda. Scott gets two off a cross body but the heels get a quick double team to drop Scott ribs first on the top rope. He falls out to the floor and cuts open his back, so Sullivan rams it into the post. Back in and Scott runs into a boot in the corner followed by a nice dropkick from Rotunda.

Sullivan comes in again as the back injury is being ignored for some reason. A butterfly suplex gets two for Mike so he takes Scott down with another hard clothesline. Scott powers out of a front facelock and makes the tag but the referee doesn’t see it due to a distraction by Sullivan. Mike misses another dropkick and now the hot tag to Rick counts, sending the crowd into a frenzy. Rick hammers away on Rotunda and everything breaks down. Sullivan brings in a chair but gets knocked to the floor by Rick, only to have Mike suplex Scott onto the chair for the pin.

Rating: B-. That’s a strange booking decision given that the Varsity Club was on its last legs and the Steiners would be pushed to the moon in just a few months. The most interesting and important story here though was Scott Steiner. For a guy who hadn’t been in the ring at this level for very long, he looked like a future star.

Here’s another big match for the team, from Halloween Havoc 1990.

US Tag Titles: Steiner Brothers vs. Nasty Boys

This is a BIG feud and the Steiners are defending. The Nasties had beaten down the Steiners and left them bloodied after the match was made, which was unheard of at this point. It’s a brawl to start and Scott gets hit with a chair. He and Sags go into the ring with Scott escaping the superplex. He runs up the corner and hits a belly to belly superplex to take Jerry down. The crowd is going NUTS for this whole thing.

Knobbs interferes and it’s Jerry in control as he starts with Scott. Scott comes back with a Tiger Driver and Rick comes in to clean the ring. The Steiner Bulldog KILLS Sags but Knobbs breaks it up with a chair shot as the referee is getting Rick out. Knobbs, the illegal man, gets two off that. A side slam puts Scott down and the Steiners are in trouble. Powerslam gets two.

They go to the floor and Sags drops a knee on Scott, who is in big trouble. Sags comes in legally and hits a pumphandle slam for no cover. Side salto gets two with Rick making the save. The Nasties switch without a tag again so it’s back to Knobbs for more beating. Abdominal stretch goes on and the cheating draws in Rick again so the Nasties can switch again. Sags puts on a bearhug to stay on the bad back.

Scott comes out of it with the natural counter: a belly to belly suplex. The tag brings in Rick who cleans house with the Steiner Line. Rick gets knocked over the top to the floor and the Nasties hit a spike piledriver on Scott. Rick is like screw that and pops Sags with the chair. The referee is really lax about these tags. Jerry is busted open but he brings in Brian to prevent the tag to Rick.

Knobbs puts the bearhug on again and rams Scott’s back into the buckle a few times. Sags puts on a Boston Crab but Scott does a pushup to break it up, but Knobbs breaks up the tag again. A reverse chinlock goes on but Scott breaks out of that too. The Nasties try to cheat again but Scott avoids a charge and hits the Steiner Line on Jerry. Hot tag to Rick and everything breaks down.

The Steiners start pounding on the Nasties but they both get thrown to the floor. Rick comes back in with a double top rope clothesline to send the Nasties to the floor, but it lets them beat up Scott while they’re out there. Scott pulls Sags to the floor again and Rick KILLS Knobbs with a Steiner Line. There’s the Frankensteiner and I don’t care who you are, in 1990 that means it’s over.

Rating: B. What a great brawl this was. If you cut about three minutes out of this it’s a classic. This is the match that made the Nasty Boys, but since this is WCW, the idea of signing them up was unheard of so they were in the Royal Rumble less than three months after this and winning the tag titles from the Hart Foundation in about six months. The match was good, but the Steiners were so far and away better than any other team in the world at this point that it didn’t matter who they were facing.

Scott would get his occasional singles match, such as a World Title shot at Clash XIV.

WCW World Title: Scott Steiner vs. Ric Flair

Scott is challenging of course. Hiro Matsuda is a guest at ringside and representing New Japan Pro Wrestling. The winner of this goes to Tokyo to face Tatsumi Fujinami. El Gigante is here for no apparent reason as well but Flair (having hacked off his hair to the look that he would mostly have for the rest of his career) won’t shake his hands. Scott easily wins a pose down before powering Flair into the corner and taking him down with a fireman’s carry.

A top wristlock puts Flair down and he tries to bail, only to run into Rick Steiner. Back in and a tilt-a-whirl slam gets two for the challenger and Flair is terrified of the strength. Ric takes him into the corner but gets caught in some armdrags and an armbar. Flair tries to take him to the mat with some amateur stuff but is easily flipped over by Steiner. The champion hides on the floor yet again but heads back in for a Steiner Line from Scott, sending Flair outside again.

Scott suplexes him back in and offers Flair a disturbing smile. Ric comes back with an atomic drop but has to punch his way out of a sunset flip. A rollup with feet on the ropes gets two for Flair and we take a break. Back with Scott putting Ric in the Figure Four but the champ quickly makes the ropes. Flair tries a cross body against the ropes but Scott doesn’t quite make it over so he stops, gets his balance, and then jumps over the ropes to crash to the floor.

Ric immediately goes after the leg and Scott is in trouble. A cannonball down onto Scott’s leg and it’s already time for the Figure Four. Rick Steiner knocks Flair’s hands off the ropes but the referee breaks the hold anyway. That’s fine with Flair as he suplexes Scott down and slaps the hold on again in the middle of the ring. Steiner turns it over but Ric quickly makes the ropes for the break. A neckbreaker puts Flair down and Scott whips him over the corner and out to the floor.

We’re suddenly under six minutes to go in the time limit and you can see the ending coming from here. A Steiner Line on the floor puts Ric down again and the other Steiner throws him back inside. Five minutes left now as Flair sends him into the corner but gets caught in a small package for a close two. Four minutes to go as Scott puts on a standing chinlock which is called a sleeper.

That goes nowhere so Scott Steiner Lines him out to the floor with three minutes left. Back in again and Flair snapmares him down and drops a knee for two. They hit the mat and Scott bridges up into a backslide but stops halfway and tiger bombs Flair down. Ric rolls outside again and Scott doesn’t follow up in a rookie mistake. There’s a minute left and Flair is back inside for a belly to belly but the bell rings at two and a half.

Rating: B. Good but not excellent match here as the time limit came up out of nowhere and really hurt the match at the end. The finish was clear with just six minutes to go and it’s very rare that they switch it up for a pin to end the match when time is expiring. This was supposed to set up Scott’s singles push but he didn’t want to break up the Steiners and declined the title change.

We’ll head forward to Wrestlewar 1992 for some more Steiner Brothers awesomeness.

Steiner Brothers vs. Tatsumi Fujiname/Takayuki Iizuka

The winners are #1 contenders to the IWGP Tag Titles, held by a team called Big Bad and Dangerous, more commonly known as IC’s wet dream: Vader and Bam Bam Bigelow. Why the WCW Tag Champions would want to get the New Japan Tag Titles is beyond me but soon enough the NWA would screw up everything by taking everyone in WCW that meant anything and some NJPW guys and putting them in a tag title tournament which just HAD to be held at Great American Bash.

Back in the day, WCW was all that the NWA had. They just didn’t want to admit that without WCW, the NWA was dead. The WCW tag titles meant more than the NWA Titles and everyone knew it except the NWA. So of course they hijacked the PPV for their own stuff and it bombed but whatever. That’s another review for another day.

For those of you that have never heard of him, Fujinami is absolutely awesome in every sense of the word. Iizuka didn’t mean anything at this point but he would becomes a fairly big deal in tag wrestling in Japan over the 90s. Nothing huge though. Jesse goes into a small rant about Japan taking all the jobs and you can hear the politics in his voice already. Scott breaks out the Blockbuster which is even rarer than the Screwdriver. It’s a fallaway slam with a floatover. It’s very hard to hit and he mostly botches the first. Second is great though.

Iizuka is a high flier that would be decent today but back then was insane. This is the Scott Steiner that was completely awesome and everyone knew it. He’s a one man wrecking crew here and takes down Iizuka with a combination powerbomb and elbow drop with help from Rick. Ok so maybe he’s a one and a second man wrecking crew. Rick does one of my favorite spots ever as the Japanese guys have him up for a Doomsday Device but Rick pulls Fujinami out of the air while he’s going for the clothesline and lands in a belly to belly suplex. It just looks amazing every time he did it which was rare.

They I guess heels work on Rick’s leg which doesn’t work that well at all. Basically this is the Steiners getting to show off and then let the other guys beat on them for a bit. Fujinami goes WAY old school by hooking an abdominal stretch and rolling back into a pin with it for two. The xenophobic crowd chants USA. Iizuka kicks the heck out of Scott who just tackles him and beats the tar out of him for his trouble.

Ok, I had to stop the tape for a second there because that might have been the coolest spot I’ve ever seen. The Japanese guys both have top wristlocks on Scott and he lifts himself up and does a standing backflip to slingshot them into the corner and then misses a double clothesline to send them into the corner where Rick comes off with a double clothesline from the top rope. Keep in mind that Scott weighs about 270 and he did that with ease. This is getting a higher grade for that spot alone.

Dragon Sleeper (Fujinami invented it) is kind of on but Scott gets the rope. Rick gets the hot tag and everything goes crazy for a bit. Crowd is way into this. Rick gets him up on top and hits one heck of a belly to belly for the pin. Iizuka was in free fall for a little bit and it looked awesome.

Rating: A-. Better than the previous match but not by much. This had some of the coolest spots I can ever remember as Scott was just absolutely amazing at this time and he was showing off here. That backflip spot was incredible to say the least. The Steiners were gone in November when they went to the WWF, but if this is their last great match it was a freaking awesome one to say the least. Great match but never really any doubt as to the winners, which hurts it a bit.

Now here’s one that you might not know exists. From Worldwide on October 17, 1992.

TV Title: Ricky Steamboat vs. Scott Steiner

Steamboat is defending and is quickly slammed down a few times to start. The champion comes right back with some dropkicks and we get a standoff. Steiner takes him down to the mat and Steamboat is in over his head. Back up and Ricky accidentally sends Scott out to the floor but doesn’t follow up, angering Jesse Ventura on commentary. They lock up again as this is still off to a slow but not boring start.

Now they get in each others’ faces with Steamboat claiming a hair pull. Ricky takes him to the mat for an armbar and Scott is a bit freaked out that the champion took him down that easily. Steiner fights up with a backdrop and puts on a weak looking half crab. That goes nowhere so it’s off to a bearhug instead with Steamboat in trouble. He fights out, only to miss a cross body and crash out to the floor. Back in and a quick small package gives Scott the title. That was a VERY sudden ending.

Rating: D+. The match was starting to heat up but I’m thinking they screwed up the time, leading to fast the finish. Literally, Steamboat came back in and got rolled up for the pin and the title. This is backed up as the show went off the air seconds after the match ended. That being said, the match wasn’t all that great anyway with neither guy being very emotional as they’re both faces, which makes for some lame matches at times.

Steiner didn’t hold the title long as he and his brother jumped to the WWF over a contract dispute. The Steiners would become big deals in a hurry with Scott getting a featured match on Raw, November 8, 1993.

Scott Steiner vs. Ludvig Borga

Borga jumps Scott during his entrance and Steiner is in early trouble. Steiner gets slammed down but comes back with a butterfly powerbomb to take over. A pumphandle slam sends Ludvig out to the floor and stalls for awhile as Randy Savage rants about Crush on commentary. Back in and an overhead belly to belly suplex gets two for Scott. Borga heads outside again as the Quebecers, Borga’s partner in the Survivor Series, come out to watch.

We take a break and come back with Steiner suplexing Borga over the ropes for no cover. Instead it’s off to a Boston crab as Rick Steiner comes out to bark at the Quebecers. Borga finally makes the ropes and gets put in a bad looking armbar. A few dropkicks get two for Scott but the Quebecers offer a distraction, drawing in Rick to suplex Borga. Everything breaks down and the match is thrown out.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here as Borga was much more about the character than the wrestling. Steiner really didn’t work that well as a singles guy because he felt like half of a team instead of a wrestler on his own. This was just setup for Survivor Series anyway and there’s nothing wrong with that.

We’ll skip over the brief Steiners run in ECW and hit Kollision in Korea on August 5, 1996.

Steiner Brothers vs. Kensuke Sasaki/Hiroshi Hase

The Steiners of course you know and Sasaki would actually win the US Title later in the year. Here the Steiners are actually NJPW guys. That’s a weird thing to see. These teams had a GREAT match at the first New Japan/WCW Supershow. We’ll get to that one soon. So far this is intense if nothing else. No one can accuse any of these guys of not working out there. Well they could but they would be incorrect.

Scott busts out an STF. And yes he knows more than 5 moves. I could watch this Scott Steiner throw suplexes all day. Oddly enough the Steiners are dominating here and are beating the tar out of Hase. Onoo of course says this isn’t important. Hase comes back and hooks a Giant Swing on Rick.

Apparently he’s famous for spinning people around a lot and his record is 44 spins. Ok then. Sasaki might have been in this for 30 seconds. He and Rick fight on the floor and in the ring, Scott hits the Steiner Screwdriver for the pin. For those of you that haven’t seen the Screwdriver, picture a vertical suplex but Scott turns the guy around in mid air so their chests are touching and drops him down into a sitout piledriver. You only see it a handful of times in history because it’s so insane.

Rating: B-. We got to see the Steiners look awesome, but this was almost a glorified squash. The Steiners as heels makes for a very odd showing but it pretty much works. The key thing to it is that they’re really good wrestlers and can bust out a lot of stuff when they want to. This is one of those moments. The lack of competition hurt it for me though.

Here’s Scott on Nitro from June 10, 1996.

Scott Steiner vs. Booker T

This would be huge about four years later. Basic anything you can do I can do greater match to start as I think this is face vs. heel but I’m not sure. Both escape belly to back suplexes but Scott gets a double underhook suplex for no cover. Booker manages to get a boot up in the corner kind of like a superkick to put Scott down. Scissors kick gets two.

Off to a front facelock and Booker controls. Spinning cross body off the top gets two. Larry Z giving wrestling advice to Booker is really weird for some reason. Scott gets something like a DDT to break the momentum though and here comes Steiner. We speed things up and Scott gets a belly to belly to put Booker down. Frankensteiner is avoided which gets two for Booker. A top rope splash misses and Scott hits another belly to belly to end it.

Rating: B-. Not bad at all here with two guys that were still (kind of) young and motivated and could give you a good match at this point. Also nice to see some young guys out there having some time to show off. Booker wouldn’t mean much of anything for like two years though and Steiner would be about 18 months away, so call this a very early preview.

And again at the 1997 Great American Bash.

Harlem Heat vs. Steiner Brothers

The winners are #1 contenders which makes me laugh. Stevie and Scott get us going and it’s power vs. power. They collide off the ropes and no one moves, so Scott hits him in the face with a forearm. When all else fails, HIT HIM IN THE HEAD. Stevie kicks him in the face to take over. Another boot misses so Scott throws him over in a suplex. The Steiners clear the ring for a bit and Stevie wants Rick.

Ray pounds him down and it’s off to Booker, but he wants Scott. Rick won’t leave so Booker doesn’t get what he wants. Ok now he does and Scott shoves him into the corner. Booker breaks up a test of strength and tries a headlock. That gets him nowhere so he tries a full nelson. Scott easily breaks it but takes a knee to the ribs to slow him right back down. Butterfuly powerbomb gets one for Steiner.

Off to Rick again who wants to brawl. The brawling doesn’t work so he goes to the Steiner bread and butter of a suplex. Scott comes in for a gorilla press but he jumps into a boot. Spinarooni sets up the Harlem Side Kick and Booker clotheslines Scott and himself to the floor. Scott sends him into the barricade to take over and they head back inside. Rick comes in again and goes outside also, but this time Stevie powerslams him on the floor to give Harlem Heat the advantage.

Rick is in trouble now as Harlem Heat lulls Scott in. They hit a modified Hart Attack (Harlem Side Kick instead of a clothesline) called the Big Apple for a delayed two. Rick catches a kick into a powerbomb/suplex kind of move to put both guys down. Hot tag brings in Scott and the ring is cleared quickly. A top rope Frankensteiner puts Stevie down…and here’s Vincent to hit Stevie so that the Steiners lose and the Outsiders don’t have to face them.

Rating: D+. This was pretty much a long TV match with a bad finish. It makes sense on paper, but there wouldn’t be a tag title match, at least not on PPV that I can remember. It was around this time that the titles became a prop as without anyone defending them, the Outsiders being called the best team made no sense. You had a bunch of teams that wanted them which helped, but with the titles never being defended they stopped meaning anything.

Back to Nitro on July 28, 1997.

Randy Savage vs. Scott Steiner

Savage slaps him in the face to start before shoving referee Randy Anderson into Scott to take him down. Steiner comes back with a gorilla press slam to send Savage to the floor. Savage throws a chair into the ring and we take a break. Back with Steiner hitting a belly to belly suplex, sending Savage to the floor. Just like old times, Randy hides behind Liz and sends Scott knees first into the steps.

They fight into the crowd with Scott in trouble. Back to ringside and Steiner is rammed into the barricade to keep Randy in control. We head back inside and Scott catches Savage off the top in another belly to belly. Rick and Liz get in an argument, allowing Steiner to backdrop Savage over the top and out to the floor, which should be a DQ. Now Steiner throws Savage into the crowd, possibly injuring Randy’s shoulder.

Back to ringside and they brawl a bit more with Scott maintaining control. Steiner gets two on a small package followed by a butterfly powerbomb for no cover. A Super Frankensteiner puts Savage down but Liz throws in her shoe. Cue the Outsiders for the SHOCKING, yes SHOCKING I SAY, run-in DQ.

Rating: C. This wasn’t bad but it was mainly brawling. Scott didn’t know how to wrestle a main event style match at this point but his singles push was coming. Granted it was years before it actually worked but they were trying at least. The ending was obvious because the announcers were so sure that the Outsiders weren’t there that they had to be there. As usual, not much to see here.

And another on April 6, 1998. By this point Scott had turned heel and joined the NWO.

Scott Steiner vs. Sick Boy

They had said Steiner was facing Giant later tonight. Vincent brings in a trophy for some reason. Steiner takes Sick Boy down with ease and chokes on the ropes a bit. Sick Boy is caught in the Tree of Woe for more choking followed by the elbow drop into the pushups. The Recliner ends this squash.

We finally got the showdown between the brothers at Fall Brawl 1998.

Rick Steiner vs. Scott Steiner

Scott stalls on the floor for a few minutes before coming back inside for a slugout with Rick getting the better of it. A right hand from Scott has no effect and he bails to the floor. Rick chases him into the crowd and drags him back into the ring but Scott hits him low to escape a belly to belly suplex.

After more stalling Rick blocks a butterfly suplex and hits a DDT before going up for the bulldog. Buff Bagwell interferes but gets rammed into the buckle, knocking him out cold and dropping him to the mat. Rick’s bad shoulder is sent into the post but he comes right back with right hands. The referee is with Bagwell and the match is stopped due to his injury, further ticking off the crowd.

Rating: D-. This was getting better but of course we have a false finish because waiting seven months for a full match just isn’t long enough. I can’t blame the crowd for getting even angrier after sitting through this as they were getting their first interesting match of the night but it didn’t even break six minutes.

Bagwell is awake and talking to Scott as the crowd shouts what they think of this nonsense. Trainers come out to check on Bagwell as the announcers talk about how serious this is. A stretcher is brought out as the show grinds to another halt. We go all the way to the back to see Bagwell loaded into a stretcher with Rick saying someone needs to call Buff’s mom. The ambulance doors are closed, Rick is distraught, and of course Scott and Buff come back out and beat him down. Nearly ten minutes were spent on this after the match ended.

Steiner would start his singles push in early 1999, including this match for the TV Title at SuperBrawl.

TV Title: Scott Steiner vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Scott is defending and has been after Page’s wife Kimberly, including throwing her out of a car. Assuming this stipulation isn’t dropped, it’s title vs. 30 days with Kimberly here. Scott, sans Buff here, brings a girl in from the audience and gently kisses her after talking trash about Page. It’s a serious Page this time and the champion stalls on the floor to start. Page will have none of that and sends him into the barricade before they head inside.

Punches and choking have Steiner in early trouble but the referee drags Page off of him, allowing Scott to get in a rake to the eyes. They head outside again and both guys are sent into the barricade. Back in and Page scores with a top rope clothesline and a neckbreaker sends Scott back to the floor. Buff Bagwell runs out to give Steiner a pep talk but Page tells them both to come on. Both guys get atomic drops but the numbers game catches up to him as Steiner nails a clothesline.

Steiner chokes on the ropes and Buff gets in a few chokes of his own. Page gets tied in the Tree of Woe for even more choking. The fans are far quieter than they were about an hour ago. Interesting how having heels win matches they didn’t need to win over underdogs will do that to you. More punching in the corner has Page in trouble but he comes back with right hands of his own. A belly to belly gets two for Steiner but Page pulls the champions trunks halfway down on a rollup for two.

Steiner nails a backbreaker as Buff has put a chair in the corner. A big chair shot to the back (even Tony says the referee should have heard that) puts Page down and Bagwell uses some wire cutters to unhook the turnbuckle pads. Page hits a very low headbutt to escape the Recliner but the referee ejects Buff. A discus lariat puts Steiner on the floor and Page follows him out with a plancha.

That’s fine with Scott as he whips Page into the steps but takes too long going after the steps, allowing Page to nail Steiner with a clothesline. Back in and Page gets crotched on the top, setting up a top rope Frankensteiner for two. The Diamond Dream (jumping spinning DDT) drops Steiner but Page can’t follow up. Instead Steiner sends Page into the exposed buckle and GOOD GRIEF WHY DO WE HAVE REFEREES IF THEY JUST WATCH PEOPLE CHEAT??? Robinson ejected Bagwell for taking off the pad, saw Steiner move the middle pad, and then saw Page go into the buckle and is totally fine with it. Of course he is.

Steiner rams Page back first into the exposed buckle three times because there’s nothing wrong with that apparently. Page passes out in the Recliner. There’s no mention made of the 30 days with Kimberly, meaning that Thunder is even more useless now because the stipulations made on that show are completely forgotten three days later.

Rating: D. This would be the third straight match where the fan favorite and logical winner has been completely destroyed and at least the second match where the referee doesn’t seem to mind cheating at all. The fans are getting quieter and quieter every single match and I can’t blame them one bit.

Here’s a defense against Buff Bagwell, after the two split in the spring. From Slamboree 1999.

US Title: Buff Bagwell vs. Scott Steiner

Since Bagwell never won a singles title, I think you know who is champion coming in. Buff jumps him before the bell and Steiner still has the belt on. Swinging neckbreaker gets two. Scott hits him low and there’s the Push-Up elbow. Buff gets thrown to the floor and Steiner yells at some fans. Things slow WAY down with Steiner on offense. It was a running theme with the Steiners at this point.

Scott chokes away and yells at another fan. Much like in the Rick match, you may be noticing a pattern emerging here. They go to the mat and Steiner elbows him a lot. He runs to the floor and brings in a chair. If that shot had hit Steiner would have been facing 10-15 years. Bagwell fights back but there goes the referee. Buff gets the chair and here’s Rick to turn heel on Buff and whack him with the chair. The Recliner keeps the title on Scott.

Rating: D-. I can’t take many more of these bad matches. I mean the people in them are just SO lazy with them laying around and doing nothing of note. Scott and Rick are back together as the Steiners and both have singles titles. You know, because that’s what the people wanted to see and would light the world on fire. Benoit and Jericho and Malenko? Who are they?

Steiner would have to take the rest of the year off due to a back injury but he would be back in the title scene at Spring Stampede 2000.

US Title: Sting vs. Scott Steiner

Tournament final. Steiner hammers away to start but Sting gets a drop….he gets a kick…we’ll call it a leg attack to take over. They go to the floor for a bit but Sting gets caught coming in off the top rope. We get into a nice rhythm here: Steiner hits Sting to knock him down then yells at the fans then hits Sting to knock him down then yells at the fans. Repeat that for about 2 minutes and you have the middle of this match.

Sting starts his comeback and hits the Stinger Splash. The second one results in the referee getting crushed so Sting goes for two more of them. The first one hits but the second is stopped as Vampiro pulls him under the ring through the mat and Sting is gone. He comes back and is busted open and out cold. Steiner puts on the Recliner and wins the title by TKO.

Rating: D-. Well this was worthless. Sting was more or less waiting around for the Vampy thing which wasn’t needed as he beat Vampiro cleanly earlier on in the night. Steiner gets the title after beating three guys despite being a terror in the back at this point. Steiner would hold the title for a few months until getting suspended for using a banned hold. Not bad for about 12 minutes combined in three matches.

Steiner’s rise would conclude at Mayhem 2000.

WCW World Title: Scott Steiner vs. Booker T

This is a straightjacket cage match. I think the straightjacket is on the corner of the cage or something. It’s a Hell in a Cell style cage. Steiner jumps him as he gets into the cage and Buffer just keeps talking anyway. Booker is all aggressive to start and it gets him nowhere. I was right: it’s a straightjacket on a poll match in a cage. Russo lives!!! Steiner takes over and hammers away on Booker for a good while. Booker gets in some shots here and there but can’t get anything going long term.

Spinning belly to belly gets two. Steiner does more or less an Angle Slam from the middle rope and it also gets two. No movement towards the straightjacket yet or anything like that at all. We get a bearhug and Booker escapes to get a missile dropkick for two. And that’s the end of Booker’s offense at the moment. Steiner gets the straightjacket but Booker puts him down. Scott of course gets up first because he’s old.

Booker is able to get the jacket on for the most part. Stevie gets in the best line of his career: IF HE CAN PUT THE STRAIGHTJACKET ON HIM WHY CAN’T HE PIN HIM??? Because that would make sense Stevie. Booker gets the jacket on and doesn’t bother to tie it or anything so he’s really just insulated Steiner against some upper body offense at this point. Nice job champ. The champ hits the floor and grabs a chair. The lead pipe he passed up wasn’t to his liking I guess.

Steiner more or less no sells chair shots and then rips the arms off the jacket. There’s the Recliner which has about NO pressure on it as he’s on his knees and there’s no crank on it at all. Booker makes the ropes which breaks the hold in a cage match of course. Bookend gets two and there’s the end of Booker’s reign for all intents and purposes. Steiner pops up from EVERYTHING, including the Axe Kick. A chair shot sets up the passing out in the Recliner to make Steiner champion and end the show.

Rating: D+. Boring match for the most part with Steiner beating the living tar out of Booker and winning with a bad finisher and making the beginning of the title reign that was going on when the company was bought. Stevie yelling about Booker losing is kind of amusing as I type this. Decent enough match I guess but sweet goodness was he going to be uninteresting. The guy brought in to fight him next month: Sid. Well of course he is. At least the show is over.

Steiner would lose the title on the final episode of Nitro and spend a long time sitting out his contract. He would however appear with the WWA promotion and challenge for the World Title at Eruption.

WWA World Title: Nathan Jones vs. Scott Steiner

Scott is challenging here and punches Jones in the corner. Oh and Sid is outside enforcer. Jones beals Scott down and they collide a few times. Steiner flips Jones off which earns him another shoulder from the champion. Jones knocks Steiner to the floor so Steiner knocks Jones to the floor. The champion hits a slingshot clothesline back in for two before pounding away in the corner.

Steiner immediately comes back by shoving Jones over the top and out to the floor. Jones is whipped HARD through a barricade as we continue to hide the severe limitations of both guys. Back inside and Steiner hits a backbreaker to put Nathan down again. There are the pushups followed by some yelling at the fans by the challenger. Off to a lame bow and arrow hold by Steiner and a low blow to keep Jones down. A northern lights suplex (why is that so popular tonight?) keeps Jones in trouble so Steiner can put on…..a Sharpshooter? It’s horrible as you would expect but it’s more strange to see than bad.

We hit a bearhug from Steiner which he ends himself with an overhead belly to belly to put Jones down. Scott pounds away but Jones comes back with a side slam to get himself a breather. A clothesline sets up a very awkward looking elbow drop by the champion who follows that up by literally falling off the top rope on a clothesline attempt. Literally, he fell forward with no vertical leap at all. Jones loads up the chokeslam but Midajah jumps on his back.

Steiner stops to yell at Sid for a bit, causing Jones to try a pair of quick rollups for two. Scott pokes the champion in the eye and slams him down, only to jump into the chokeslam. Midajah makes the save so Sid loads up Midajah for the powerslam. Another referee stops him and in the melee Steiner hits Jones with a belt shot. The Steiner Recliner gives Scott via arm drops.

Rating: D. This wasn’t that good at all. At the end of the day, Jones was all look and almost no substance whatsoever. As bad as he looked beforehand, the falling off the top rope turned the whole thing into an even bigger joke than it already was. Sid was only there as a means to the end of the match and added nothing else. The whole match was a clash of styles and neither guy was good enough to carry the other to anything above terrible.

Steiner would finally make it to the WWE, for one of the most entertaining matches of all time at Royal Rumble 2003.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Scott Steiner

HHH has red trunks on here for some reason. He mixed them up every now and then and rarely did the other colors work. Stick with basic black Game. Hebner brings them to the middle for instructions which is ultra rare stuff. Steiner wins an early slugout and pounds on the champion in the corner. A gorilla press sends HHH to the floor and Steiner pounds away with those weird looking overhand punches of his.

Steiner suplexes him back in for two and works on the back some more. An elbow to the face puts HHH down and there’s an appropriate Boston Crab. HHH powers out of it and hits the facebuster but Steiner no sells it. There’s a bear hug which is quickly broken but Steiner snaps off an overhead belly to belly (1) for two. Flair saves HHH from being put in the Steiner Recliner and Steiner charges into a boot in the corner to finally change the momentum.

We head to the floor again where Scott goes into the steps. The fans aren’t exactly thrilled with this so far but they’ve still got time to crank it up a bit. Flair chokes away with his jacket and HHH hits his second neckbreaker in about 30 seconds for two. Since we didn’t allido it properly the first time, Flair chokes away even more. A Pedigree attempt is countered into a slingshot into the buckle. Steiner looks like he’s going through labor.

An overhead suplex (2) puts HHH down and I kid you not: Steiner FALLS DOWN due to exhaustion. He’s clearly sucking wind and HHH didn’t touch him at all. Speaking of HHH, he counters a tombstone attempt into a….I think it was supposed to be the third neckbreaker in about 90 seconds but Steiner took it wrong, causing it to look like a cutter where he fell backwards instead of forwards. That gets two and the fans are starting to boo.

HHH is loudly calling spots to try to salvage this before he hits a vertical suplex. For no apparent reason he goes up and jumps into a belly to belly (3). Steiner can barely punch so he settles for some clotheslines. There’s an overhead belly to belly (4) and an overhead belly to belly (5) and an overhead belly to belly (6). The fans are openly booing Steiner now. His response? To hold HHH’s hair while HHH rams his own head into the buckles (seriously, Steiner clearly isn’t even pushing) and to hit a spinning belly to belly (7) for two and even more booing.

Steiner tries a butterfly powerbomb and literally falls backwards as he does it, causing HHH to land on Steiner’s knees. The fans groan at the sight of this so HHH goes up top to get superplexed down. He’s handing these spots to Steiner. THANKFULLY HHH tries to walk out but Steiner won’t have it, because WE HAVE TO KEEP GOING. Steiner blasts HHH with the belt to bust him open to try to get the fans to care but the match is long past salvageable at this point.

Back in and Steiner hits ANOTHER belly to belly (8), causing the fans to get MAD. They’re not annoyed, they’re not wanting a new champion, they want Steiner to get out of their ring now. HHH tries to get counted out but Steiner goes after him AGAIN. Back in and Steiner does the pushups to tick off the fans even more as Flair is BEGGING the referee to stop the match.

Now HHH throws the referee to the floor but HEBNER WON’T STOP IT. I mean he pulls his arm up to ring the bell but stops and says keep it going. Steiner hits the NINTH belly to belly suplex (9) of the match for two so HHH hits him low and grabs a fast rollup for two. HHH finally gives up and hits Steiner with the sledgehammer for the DQ.

Rating: H. As in HHH, who I feel sorry for here. Now everyone knows I’m no fan of the guy in 2003, but he was in a HORRIBLE situation here. HHH was trying to keep this a coherent match, but Steiner was beyond worthless here, causing the match to sink to levels far below what any other main event “talent” would be capable of. After about seven minutes (out of eighteen), Steiner stopped doing anything resembling trying to have a match and was just doing suplexes.

Remember that back stuff he did at the beginning? Completely forgotten. Did you see him try his finisher? Not even once. He somehow managed a belly to belly suplex every two minutes, despite being on defense for a good third of the match. This was absolutely horrible and quite possibly the worst world title match I can EVER remember, which is covering a lot of ground.

Post match, Steiner beats up HHH and Flair with the hammer, which gets SYMPATHY from the fans. HHH is getting SYMPATHY from a crowd. Think about that for a minute. And what’s worse: THEY HAD A REMATCH! Oh and there’s the Steiner Recliner to absolutely nothing positive from the crowd at all. Bischoff has to come get Steiner off HHH.

I’ll skip the far better (yet still awful) rematch and jump ahead to 2006 as Steiner hit TNA after several years on the independent circuit/in Europe. From Victory Road 2006.

Samoa Joe vs. Christian Cage vs. Scott Steiner vs. Sting

#1 contender’s match. Steiner is Jarrett’s hired gun. Everyone gets the long walk to the ring from the back to waste even more time. Joe is undefeated here which would last until that bald Olympic dude got here. Cage has never been pinned or tapped in TNA either. I did like Christian’s entrance in TNA. That was always cool. Sting thinks Jarrett is a cancer because cancer is a word that it’s perfectly fine to throw around in wrestling.

The fans are completely behind Joe so Tenay says it’s Sting’s crowd. I think that’s what he said at least as the JOE’S GONNA KILL YOU chant is drowning it out. Steiner vs. Christian and Sting vs. Joe to start. Sting vs. Joe in the ring with Joe’s knee being Sting’s target. Scorpion goes on quickly but Steiner breaks it up. Belly to belly puts Sting on the floor. Something tells me we’re going to be going into the formula here quickly.

Joe vs. Christian in the ring which was a big rivalry for awhile. Sting and Steiner fight up around the entrance which we really don’t need to watch as the match can’t end there. See, why don’t they use a split screen here where it would actually make sense? Facewash by Joe and Sting cracks Steiner with a chair a few times. The pairs switch places and Sting remains in control of Steiner.

Steiner tries a backslide of all things but a cameraman pops in and sprays Sting in the eyes with alleged gasoline to blind him. I love how in a huge open area like this you can smell gasoline like 20 feet away according to West. Sting is taken out as the fans chant TNA. Oh the cameraman was Jarrett in disguise. I knew I forgot to mention something. Jarrett is thrown out in the back.

It’s a triple threat for all intents and purposes here as Christian gets two on Joe. Steiner is on the floor at the moment. Joe tries the Musclebuster which doesn’t connect and the Unprettier doesn’t either. Christian gets a facewash to Joe in a nice touch. He tries something else but Steiner pulls him to the floor. Joe dives through the ropes to take everyone down at once.

Joe busts out a table for no apparent reason at all. He tries to suplex Steiner onto it but Scott reverses into a DDT onto the apron. As per the laws of wrestling, Joe is put through it via an elbow drop from Steiner. Points to Steiner for trying something like that which most older guys wouldn’t do ever. Christian vs. Steiner in the ring at the moment with Steiner catching him in a powerslam.

Steiner gets something like an Angle Slam off the middle rope and Joe pops in for a pair of twos. Frog Splash by Christian misses and here comes Joe. He beats Christian down in the corner and knocks him into Steiner. Christian rolls Scotty up for two in a bit of a contrived spot. By contrived I mean that looked fake as all goodness. Belly to belly by Steiner gets no cover but does set up the Recliner. Oh my that hold is pathetic looking.

Joe grabs the Koquina Clutch and Christian has to make the save. Christian and Joe go up and Steiner drills both of them. Here’s Sting back with a bandage around his head of course. Frog Splash to Steiner by Christian gets two. Steiner dumps Joe and Christian so that the Death Drop and send Sting to Hard Justice.

Rating: C. Totally average main event here that is nothing to remember at all. The Sting injury seemed rather pointless as he was out there for a good while in the first place and then comes back later on so the injury wasn’t that serious it would seem. Not much of a match at all but it wasn’t that bad I guess.

When all else fails, put Scott in a tag team. From Sacrifice 2007.

Tag Titles: Team 3D vs. Scott Steiner/Tomko vs. LAX

So Tomko and Steiner don’t get along and are here….because I guess, and LAX are the guys Team 3D beat to get the titles. After almost a minute of arguing we get Homicide vs. Steiner to start us off. Power vs. speed obviously and Homicide can only run so long before he gets caught. Ray tags himself in and sneaks up on Steiner for a pretty awesome German release.

Homicide comes back in and hits half a dropkick to both Immortal members. He and Steiner team up to beat on Ray which is about as odd of a pairing as you’ll find this side of Alex Shelly and Abyss. Ray kicks Homicide’s head off and it’s off to D-Von vs. Tomko. D-Von powerslams him down and SuperMex comes in via the slingshot shoulder. A Thesz Press by D-Von gets the fans behind the champions.

And never mind as LAX double teams him right back down to take over again. Steiner comes in and drops the elbow and the push-ups. Ray breaks up the cover and does push-ups of his own in a funny bit. He and Homicide get into it as D-Von keeps getting beaten down, in this case by Hernandez. Henandez does that always cool backflip to the top rope and seemingly botches a top rope splash to D-Von for two. His leg kind of landed on D-Von’s head which has to freaking hurt.

In a smart move, Tomko breaks up the pin and pulls Hernandez, not D-Von, back to his corner so that Tomko can tag himself in and get a piece of the weakened D-Von. Man, when did Tomko get so smart? It doesn’t really work though as D-Von hits a tornado DDT to break the momentum. I see why Tomko rarely used logic. LAX comes in to stop the tag but D-Von rolls under then and tags Bubba in a nice move.

Ray throws Hernandez out and brings Homicide in. Go after the smaller guys I guess. That’s very bullyish of him. Everything breaks down as is customary in these matches. Steiner suplexes D-Von so Hernandez destroys Steiner with a backbreaker. Ray cleans house and What’s Up Homicide? The fans want tables but Hernandez dives over the top to take out D-Von. Steiner and Tomko beat up Homicide but Homicide rolls through a Doomsday Device for two. Tomko and Steiner get into it but beat up Bubba a bit. Double teaming fails though and a 3D from 3D beats Tomko.

Rating: C+. Pretty basic triple threat here but it worked well enough. The Dudleys needed a win to establish themselves (for some reason) so this did that well enough. The Steiner/Tomko issue will be made clear in a bit. Tomko I think would go on to team with AJ and hold the tag titles for about six months after this so he did well enough. Also they would be the TNA Tag Titles here before to long.

Steiner eventually got a protege in Petey Williams. Here’s their required showdown from Against All Odds 2008.

Petey Williams vs. Scott Steiner

Petey likes to copy Scott which he was told not to do pre-match. They pose for a bit which is a bit more disturbing than it should be. Steiner easily overpowers him of course so Petey tries to speed things up a bit which doesn’t work either. Some strikes work a bit for Petey but it’s hard to fight against a big overhead belly to belly. Elbow and pushups follow.

Another belly to belly off the top gets two but Steiner pulls him up. Steiner gets an Angle Slam off the top but again pulls Williams up. He goes to the floor and gets the two cases, wedging them between the ropes as you often see done with chairs. The referee stops him but Williams manages to shove Steiner into the case. Rana takes Steiner down for two. Canadian Destroyer is countered into an Alabama Slam for a long two.

Steiner Recliner can’t get on though as Williams rolls him up instead for two. Williams hits a dropkick and a slingshot Codebreaker to set up a top rope crossbody for two. Williams puts on the Steiner Recliner which is as miserable of a chinlock as I’ve ever seen. Tornado DDT gets two for Williams. Steiner gets sent into the other case and a missile dropkick puts down Steiner. Rhaka Khan debuts and distracts Petey so that a Last Ride can end Petey.

Rating: C-. Better match than you would expect but Steiner was never in any real danger here. I never got the appeal of mini Steiner in the form of Williams. Steiner never really went anywhere until the Mafia came up. This was watchable but at the same time it wasn’t anything great at all.

One more TNA match from Turning Point 2009.

Bobby Lashley vs. Scott Steiner

I was right about the Rude/Roberts thing as Scott has Krystal’s face on his tights ala Ravishing Rick. Hey he has alliteration in his name too. This is rather interesting. The fight starts in the middle of the aisle with Lashley throwing him all over the place. Into the ring now with Lashley in full control. A clothesline and shoulder in the corner has Scott in trouble. Suplex gets two.

Spinebuster gets no cover as Bobby sets for a spear. Steiner gets a boot up but walks into a T-Bone suplex for a long two. Clothesline puts Steiner right back onto the floor. Scott FINALLY breaks the momentum with a pair of shots to the Little Boss. Make that three of them. That set of them gets two as maybe Krystal will like Scott more now. Chair goes across the back of Bobby for two.

Back in and the spinning belly to belly by Steiner gets two. Overhead belly to belly nearly breaks Bobby’s neck as is Scott’s custom. A third suplex gets two. Steiner does what he now calls the Frankensteiner but for some reason Bobby drops down to the bottom rope so it looked a bit awkward. That gets two. Steiner goes up but gets caught. Lashley drops him onto the top rope instead of slamming him down. Nice change of pace there I guess.

To the floor again and Lashley throws him into the table and pounds away. Chair to the back of Steiner and they go into the back where it’s really dark. Like Boiler Room Brawl at Summerslam 96 dark. Also we don’t have a camera there. It does make it look a bit more realistic I guess though. Apparently the camera was off so Scott could blade as he’s busted open now.

Lashley puts him through a table for two. He goes off and gets a 2×4, prompting the entire crowd to shout HO! Well they’re smart at least. Lashley charges into a well placed piece of wood. Taz asks why the wood was there and is promptly ignored. Scott chokes away with a cord and gets two off that. They fight back to what is apparently behind the set. Up to the Spanish Announce Table and Steiner rips the scaffolding apart. A piece of the pipe winds up going around the head of Lashley and we’re done. No idea what the point is of giving Steiner the win here but whatever.

Rating: C+. Pretty decent brawl here with both big monsters hammering away on each other pretty well. The ending doesn’t work for the most part as it says monster MMA fighter loses to implied attempted rapist. Not a classic or anything but it wasn’t supposed to be. Fine for what it was which I’ve been trying to cut back on saying but it fits here.

We’ll wrap things up in India, with Steiner participating in TNA’s Ring Ka King promotion in 2012.

Ring Ka King Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Scott Steiner vs. Mahabali Veera

From what I can tell, Steiner is a big time heel and a member of the heel stable. Veera is a good sized guy and we start with a posedown. The announcers crack up when Veera gets kicked in the ribs. Veera takes him down with some shoulders and a clothesline to send Scott outside. Back in and Steiner takes over with some kicks but charges into a boot in the corner. The fans get behind Veera as he botches a side slam for two. Back up and Steiner avoids a clothesline and they seem to mess up some communication before Steiner nails a Downward Spiral to advance to the finals.

Rating: D. It was clear that Veera didn’t know what he was doing out there. He knew some basics but their timing was WAY off with Steiner seeming to be fine for the most part. Veera would be the feel good story of the promotion and would win the title on the show’s final episode. Bad match but Steiner was trying.

Scott Steiner is a guy that has found out a formula that works and used it to give himself a very fine career. He’s far better known for his tag team work but he won the World Title and a bunch of other singles titles to give him a solid singles career of his own. That being said, when he got bad, it was VERY bad with the HHH match in particular being horrible. If you throw in his INSANE promos though, Steiner is more than worth a look, especially in the old days.

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Summerslam 2006
Date: August 20, 2006
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 16,168
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, Joey Styles, John Bradshaw Layfield

This is an interesting show as a lot has changed since last year but WWE is still in the same kind of situation: the shows are coming and going and not a lot is changing. The shows aren’t bad, but there’s nothing that feels like required viewing. This year we have DX vs. the McMahons, Edge defending the Raw Title against Cena, Batista challenging King Booker for the Smackdown Title, Flair vs. Foley in an I Quit match, Hogan vs. Randy Orton and the first ECW Title match in WWE PPV history. The card is stacked but nothing on here feels must see. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about DX taking over the company with their sophomoric jokes. The other matches get some lip service as well.

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

Guerrero claimed that Rey was leeching off the Guerrero name, which he totally was but Guerrero is still playing the heel here. We get videos on Eddie’s relationships with both Rey and Chavo, conveniently ignoring Rey vs. Eddie from last year. Apparently Chavo is coming out of retirement for one night only. The brawl is on fast and JBL is WAY into it already. Chavo hits a quick uppercut and catches a standing Lionsault into a powerslam position, only to have Rey armdrag him out to the floor.

Mysterio misses a plancha to the floor and Chavo hits a big dive of his own to take over. Chavo shouts that it’s his blood instead of Rey’s as JBL calls this the biggest comeback since the resurrection. Rey charges into the corner but Chavo drops him face first onto the buckle to put him down again. Chavo does the Eddie dance, drawing the crowd into the Eddie chant. The masked dude is knocked to the floor and then face first into the buckle to keep him on defense.

Chavo puts him on the top rope and tries to powerbomb Rey to the floor but Rey fights out to avoid death. They facejam each other down to the mat and both guys are in trouble. Back up and Rey gets two off a springboard cross body. A hard kick to the head gets the same for Rey before he hurricanranas Chavo into the 619. The seated senton misses and Mysterio hurricanranas both guys out to the floor.

Chavo takes control and sends Rey back in but here’s Vickie to yell at him. Rey dives off the apron with something the camera misses to take out Chavo and we head back inside. Chavo hits two of the Three Amigos as Vickie is screeching at them to stop fighting. Rey hits the Three Amigos and goes up top but Vickie keeps shouting at him to stop before accidentally crotching him down. Chavo hits a brainbuster and the frog splash for the pin.

Rating: C+. The match was entertaining enough but the bleeding dry of Eddie’s corpse is well beyond old here. Seriously, they were fighting over who was really defending Eddie’s honor. It was fun stuff but the Vickie screeching is getting already getting annoying. She’s been around seven years. How is that possible?

Booker is holding the title with a maniacal look in his eyes. He rants in a British accent for a bit and says he and Sharmell are the most powerful couple in wrestling. This brings in Edge and Lita who just happened to be standing off camera when Booker said that. They debate how important they are and make a wager: if Booker loses he has to be Edge’s servant but if Edge loses he has to kiss Booker’s feet.

This is a good example of what I mean when I talk about the show looking too structured. Why were Edge and Lita right there to respond to those comments? It comes off as so fake and set up in advance that it kills whatever air of realism the show has. Have Booker say they’re the powerful couple, then have Edge and Lita come in later in the show. Same amount of time spent, same result, doesn’t look forced. Why is this so complicated?

ECW Title: Big Show vs. Sabu

Big Show is defending after Sabu beat Van Dam in a ladder match this past week. It’s extreme rules, which is a rarity for these title matches anymore. Sabu starts fast by swinging a chair and gets a quick one count off the Arabian Facebuster. The chair is set up in the middle of the ring but Big Show drops Sabu face first onto the steel. Big Show crushes the chair with his boot and chops Sabu down with ease.

We hit an early bearhug but Sabu pokes the eyes to escape. A springboard is caught in a fallaway slam from Big Show to send Sabu to the outside. The small one grabs a chair to blast Show in the face before dropkicking it into Show’s face. Sabu it too banged up to immediately cover so it’s only a one count. With nothing else working, Sabu loads up a table in the corner and hits a tornado DDT for no cover.

Sabu finally knocks him through the table off a springboard from the chair but Show pops up and electric chairs Sabu down. A Vader Bomb crushes Sabu and Show brings in two sets of steps. He bridges a table across them but his chokeslam is countered into a DDT through the table. Sabu sets up another table but charges into a chokeslam through it for the pin.

Rating: D. I don’t care. Seriously that’s the first thing that came to my head. This was less than nine minutes and the ending was never in double at all. At least a third of the match was spent setting up the next spot, especially near the end. The early days of WWECW with the old ECW guys were just torture to get through as it was clearly trying to recreate magic and it wasn’t anything of note. Dull match here and it would be several months before ECW picked up.

Layla won the Diva Search earlier this week.

The Divas welcome Layla to the company. These stupid girl power segments got old fast. Everyone gets on her and then say they’re all kidding. Layla is dragged into the shower and spanked for her initiation. Everyone is clothed so this goes nowhere.

We recap Hogan vs. Orton. Hogan is a legend, Orton is the legend killer, I think you can do the math. There was a stupid bit with Orton hitting on Brooke thrown in which went nowhere.

Randy Orton vs. Hulk Hogan

Hogan has a bad leg coming in, meaning he’s perfectly normal. Hulk easily shoves Orton down out of lockup to start before running him down with a shoulder block. The bandana goes into Orton’s face before Randy grabs a headlock. Hogan fights out with a top wristlock as we’re still going very slowly so far, much to Hogan’s liking. Randy finally gets in some shots to the face to put Hogan down, thereby making him the biggest heel in the world.

Hogan fights Orton off in the corner and sends him into the buckle. Almost all Hogan so far which continues as Hogan pounds down right hands in the corner. He bites Randy’s forehead and pokes him in the eye to keep us firmly in the mid-80s. Hogan rakes his back and pounds away on the mat before threatening the referee with a right hand. Orton holds the ropes on an Irish whip and pulls Hogan to the mat to work on the knee.

Back in and Orton cannonballs down on the leg before doing a short form of the circle stomp. A chop block puts Hulk down again but he ducks/collapses to avoid a high cross body. Hogan pounds away but misses the big boot, allowing Orton to dropkick him down. The RKO connects for three but Hogan’s foot was on the ropes. Orton argues with the referee, Hulk Hulks Up and the legdrop ends it.

Rating: D. Well let’s see: the booking was out of the 80s, Hogan broke a sweat for maybe a minute, and Orton was pinned clean by a 50+ year old man in about eleven minutes. This is the opposite of last year with Shawn as Michaels didn’t have much to gain from a win. Orton on the other hand could have ridden this win for months, but instead we get Hogan’s last WWE match (which you couldn’t have known at the time) as a tribute to him, complete with the 1985 formula all over again. Not a fan of this but you had to know it was coming.

We look at a big party yesterday which is exactly what you would think it was. This was also the announcement for WWE 24/7, which was nowhere near as cool as it sounded.

Melina isn’t sure if Foley can beat Flair but he freaks out on her, saying he’ll do it. This was an awkward on screen relationship.

Ric Flair vs. Mick Foley

In something else that was kind of awkward, these two traded shots at each other in their books with Foley saying Flair wrestled the same match for years and Flair calling Foley a glorified stunt man. Tonight is an I Quit match and it’s all about respect. Foley jumps Flair in the corner and pounds away before hitting the running knee to the head. A running trashcan shot to the head has Flair in early trouble and it’s already Socko time. Flair won’t give up so Foley says he’ll suffer.

Foley wraps barbed wire around the sock but Flair grabs Mick’s crotch to block it. We’re not even two minutes into this and we’ve already had a crotch grab. A low blow puts Mick down and Flair wraps the barbed wire sock around his hand for some chops. Ric sends Foley knees first into the steps but Foley rams him into the announce table to get a breather. Foley pulls out a barbed wire board and blasts Flair in the back with it to make Naitch scream.

We head inside again and the fans want fire. Flair is busted open (duh) so Foley rubs the barbed wire over the cut for good measure. A barbed wire board to the head and the shoulder have Flair in even more trouble but he tells Foley to kiss something instead of quitting. Foley spreads out the thumbtacks and slams Ric down onto them in a scary looking but perfectly safe spot. Think about it: the tacks are what, half an inch long? All they’re going to go into is fat so while it’ll hurt, there’s no real danger to the spot. It’s like being stung by a bunch of bees.

Anyway Flair still won’t quit so Foley brings in the barbed wire ball bat to cut at Flair’s head even more. Flair hits his second low blow to escape before sending him shoulder first into the post. The ball bat to the shoulder has Foley in big trouble as Ric goes into old school brawler mode. Foley won’t quit so Flair threatens to kill him by cutting out his heart.

A third low blow has Foley on the apron, allowing for Ric to knock him off the apron and onto the concrete. Foley is apparently out cold so medics and Melina come out to check on him. The trainer says it’s over and the bell rings. That’s not good enough for Flair though and he sends Foley back in to rub the ball bat over Foley’s face again. He runs the barbed wire over Mick’s unconscious eyes and Melina throws in the towel to end it. Wait that’s STILL not good enough for Flair because Foley has to say it. Ric threatens Melina with the ball bat and Foley quits to save her.

Rating: B. This was one heck of a bloodbath until Melina had to get involved. I get that they didn’t want either guy to quit but dang man, did we really need Melina out there? Like I said it never was a good fit on screen and would end with Melina screwing over Foley for no apparent reason. Good match, but Flair flat out doesn’t need to be doing this at his age.

Vince, Shane and Armando Alejandro Estrada (Umaga’s manager) make fun of Foley until Vince asks if they have Umaga’s support tonight. Armando says si.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. King Booker

Booker is defending and Batista never lost the title, only being stripped due to injury. This is his first major match since December/January. Booker’s wife Sharmell reaches Vickie levels of annoying by saying ALL HAIL KING BOOKER about 18 times on the way to the ring. Feeling out process to start with Booker taking him into the corner and slapping him across the face. Batista easily shoves him across the ring to prove a point as things are starting slowly.

The champion grabs a headlock but completely misses a spin kick, allowing Batista to counter into a powerslam for two. Booker tries to bail with Sharmell but Batista doesn’t even let him get close. Back in and Booker blocks a Batista Bomb by snapping Batista’s neck across the ropes to take over. We hit a chinlock less than four minutes in and the fans aren’t pleased. Back up and Batista hits a sloppy belly to belly suplex for two but Sharmell sends in the scepter for a cheap shot, giving Booker more control.

Booker goes after the arm, which is the injury that kept Batista on the shelf for so long. That makes too much sense though so it’s off to a regular chinlock. Batista finally gets up and crotches Booker on the top before hitting some weak clotheslines. They head to the floor with Booker sending him into the barricade to take over. A missile dropkick gets two on Big Dave but the ax kick misses. Batista Jackhammers him down for two and busts out a full nelson slam of all things. He loads up the Batista Bomb and Sharmell comes in for the lame DQ.

Rating: D. Well at least it wasn’t that long. These two had horrible chemistry together so of course they had two more PPV matches until Batista finally took the title at Survivor Series. The ending sucked, the match sucked, Batista looked as slow as Hogan out there, and the fans were bored by the match. Sounds like it needs a sequel to me.

Post match Batista “destroys” Booker, which translates to him not being able to get him up for a Batista Bomb until Booker clearly pulls himself up. Again, this feud went on for three more months.

Jeff Hardy is coming back tomorrow. Why bother announcing it when you can have a big surprise like that?

DX talks to someone we can’t see. They tell him how much Vince praised Umaga, calling him the REAL monster in WWE. They leave and whoever was in there bangs on the door.

We recap DX vs. the McMahons. This feud started with Shawn vs. Vince but HBK recruited HHH to help him out. DX destroyed a bunch of Vince’s stuff and made fun of him, basically getting on the nerves of everyone over 17 years old. Vince and Shane brought in everyone imaginable to help them but DX dispatched them easily because they’re both Hall of Famers and they were fighting jobbers to the stars. Umaga was the only one who could beat them one on one, making those matches the only interesting parts of the entire feud.

D-Generation X vs. Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon

Vince and Shane head back to the entrance and send out the Spirit Squad as the first line of defense. Superkicks, backdrops and Pedigrees abound, getting rid of the Raw Tag Champions (the cheerleaders) in less than fifteen seconds. DX beat the Spirit Squad about five times in this whole thing but never won the tag titles. I never quite got why.

Next up are Kennedy, Finlay and Regal who do a bit better thanks to Finlay’s club but only last about 40 seconds. Now it’s Big Show to really challenge DX. Why all nine guys didn’t come out at once is never really addressed. The three midcarders take down HHH on the floor, leaving Shawn alone with Show. A cobra clutch backbreaker and the Log Roll knock Shawn silly as HHH is destroyed. Now the McMahons come to the ring and there’s the opening bell.

Vince slams Shawn down to start and it’s off to Shane for some dancing. He peppers Shawn with left jabs and hits a big right cross to puts him down. HHH is still down from a chokeslam through the announce table. Vince comes back in for something like a clothesline to the ribs and fires off elbows in the corner. A double back elbow puts Shawn down and HHH is finally remembering what planet he’s on. Shane of course slides to the floor to knock him down again, which is pretty smart.

Shane hits a backbreaker on Michaels and it’s back to Papa McMahon. There’s a double elbow but HHH is on his feet. Shane, again, wisely baseball slides him onto the other announce table. The McMahons bust out the Demolition Decapitation and the Hart Attack of all things, complete with signature Bret pose. They even hit a bad looking Doomsday Device but Shawn pops up at two and fires off right hands. Vince sneaks in with a shot to the back and down goes HBK again. Shawn scores with a double clothesline and everyone is down.

HHH is back up on the apron and actually takes the hot tag. Adrenaline kicks in and house is cleaned with a high knee and a neckbreaker to Shane. Clotheslines take both McMahons down and there’s a spinebuster for the young one. Shawn drops the elbow on Vince and hits a Cactus Clothesline to take Shane out.

Here’s Umaga to superkick Shawn and hit a quick Samoan Spike to HHH. This brings out Kane as the guy DX was talking to so he can fight Umaga to the back. Shane can only get two on the Game so Vince punches the referee. Shane loads up a Coast to Coast but Shawn superkicks him out of the air. A trashcan shot to Vince sets up Sweet Chin Music and the Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: B-. That’s about as high as they can get and there’s nothing wrong with that. The booking was as smart as you could get since there might not be two guys in the company that could be a legitimate threat to DX in a straight match so making it eleven on two to start was all they could do. The rest of the match is your usual tag team formula match and that’s all they could do here. The fans popped for the ending too so I can’t complain much.

Wrestlemania 23 is in Detroit.

We recap Edge vs. Cena. Edge won MITB last year at Wrestlemania and cashed in on Cena at New Year’s Revolution nine months later. After some title trading with Van Dam and Cena, Edge wound up with the belt on Raw, setting up the one on one showdown here tonight.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Edge

Cena is the hometown boy tonight. If Edge gets disqualified he loses the title. Cena charges him into the corner and the booing begins. John pounds away and gets one off a back elbow and a belly to belly suplex. Edge avoids a charge to send Cena shoulder first into the post and out to the floor. It’s kind of early for that spot. Back in and Edge beats on Cena with basic strikes before knocking him off the apron and into the barricade.

Cena makes it back in at nine but Edge immediately drops an elbow on his back for two more. John makes a comeback with right hands as the fans are booing even louder now. A quick fisherman’s suplex gets two on Edge but he sends Cena over the top and out to the floor for the third time. Back in again and Cena misses a cross body to put him down again. Why it puts Edge down as well isn’t clear.

We hit the chinlock for a good while until Cena breaks the hold with pure power. Cena hits a knee to the chest but walks into a big boot for two. Edge goes up top and fights off Cena so he can hit a top rope clothesline for two. Off to a camel clutch but Cena again powers out of it. Both guys are down so Lita sends in a chair. Edge picks it up before throwing it down out of fear in a cute bit. Cena initiates his finishing sequence but the FU is countered into the Impaler for two.

Edge goes up again but has to escape the FU off the ropes into an electric chair but Cena gets two off a victory roll. A middle rope cross body is rolled through into the FU but a Lita distraction makes Cena drop Edge. The champion is sent into his chick and Cena gets a close two off a rollup. A double clothesline puts both guys down until Edge rolls over for two.

The Canadian is up first but the spear is countered into the STFU. Lita tries to come in with the belt but Edge waves her off and gets the rope. The referee has to drag Cena off, allowing Lita to load up brass knuckles on Edge’s hand. Cena grabs the FU anyway but Lita comes in, only to be thrown on top of Edge in a double FU. How that isn’t a DQ isn’t clear but Cena flips her to the mat, allowing Edge to knock him out with the knuckles to retain the title.

Rating: B-. This took some time to get going but the ending was great. Edge winning is an interesting concept and they would go with the same idea next month when Cena beat Edge in Edge’s signature match in his hometown. The match wasn’t all that good though as it felt like they were just killing time until the end, which makes for a dull match.

Overall Rating: C. Right in the middle is about perfect here as there are almost equal amounts of good and bad. The interesting things about this show are the match lengths. Usually there are some very short matches and one or two longer ones. Here there’s only one match under nine minutes and the longest is the main event which isn’t even sixteen. That makes for a show where there’s nothing huge to save the bad stuff and everything is almost equal in length, meaning you can weigh almost everything the same. The show is definitely watchable but skip Booker vs. Batista.

Ratings Comparison

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Big Show vs. Sabu

Original: C

Redo: D

Hulk Hogan vs. Randy Orton

Original: B

Redo: D

Mick Foley vs. Ric Flair

Original: B-

Redo: B

Batista vs. King Booker

Original: D

Redo: D

Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon vs. D-Generation X

Original: C-

Redo: B-

Edge vs. John Cena

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: C+

Redo: C

Other than Hogan, not a lot changes here. This show pretty much is what it is.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/09/history-of-summerslam-count-up-2006-hogan-and-dx-are-in-charge-are-we-in-1998/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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