Wrestlemania XXIV
Date: March 30, 2008
Location: Citrus Bowl, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 74,365
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman, Joey Styles, Tazz

So this was going to be Wrestlemania XXX but then I remembered I did that show last year so I picked one I remember being a lot of fun. It’s from one of the forgotten periods of the company’s history as things were mostly good, but this era really runs together for me. This show is well received and kind of a hidden gem though so let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

Jim Duggan, Shannon Moore, Jimmy Wang Yang, Val Venis, Cody Rhodes, Hardcore Holly, Jesse, Festus, Stevie Richards, Jamie Noble, Tommy Dreamer, Kofi Kingston, Brian Kendrick, Kane, Great Khali, Miz, Mark Henry, Deuce, Domino, Elijah Burke, Lance Cade, Trevor Murdoch, Chuck Palumbo, Snitsky

This show is so old it pre-dates Kickoff Shows. This is your usual get everyone on the card match, which would go completely off the rails years later. There is actually a prize as the winner gets an ECW Title shot later tonight. The brawl is on to start (as it should be) with Festus (Luke Gallows) throwing out Deuce N Domino without much trouble. Khali gets rid of Duggan (to a lot of booing) and Burke knocks out Richards.

Burke makes the eternal mistake of celebrating too much though and gets shoved out by Kane. You would think people would learn at some point. It’s Miz out next and the announcers talk about how cool it would be for young Kofi Kingston to get a title shot at Wrestlemania. Henry eliminates Moore and Yang and it’s Jesse following them out.

Festus is put out, meaning I don’t have to get him confused with Snitsky anymore. Kofi gets rid of Cade and Kendrick as the ring is clearing out a lot. Henry tosses Kofi onto the pile and Palumbo (He made it to 2008?) kicks Noble out. Actually Noble hangs on so Palumbo throws him out again, though this time Noble climbs onto the pile and stays on. I’m sure Kofi Kingston was watching that one.

Not that it matters as Khali gets rid of Noble and Palumbo but everyone gangs up to get rid of Khali. Snitsky gets rid of Holly and we’re down to Kane, Snitsky and Henry, meaning there were quite a few eliminations off camera. Henry eliminates Snitsky and we’re down to two. Kane has to escape a gorilla press and a big boot gets rid of Henry to give Kane the win.

Rating: D. They got in, they did their thing, they had the right winner and they got out in less than seven minutes. It’s not a good match or anything more than what it was supposed to be and that’s fine. Believe it or not you don’t need three matches before the show starts to warm the fans up. Something like this is a perfect choice and it worked just fine.

We get the big airplane flyover, which will nearly knock you off your feet in person.

John Legend sings America the Beautiful.

The opening video features wrestlers talking about how big Wrestlemania is and how much they want to steal the show. Remember when wrestling was about how you didn’t like someone or wanted the title and not to just get on a show or steal said show? It shifts into a talk about everything that can happen in a year, including title changes, injuries, or your boss saying your career was over the next time you lost. Tonight, everyone is going to steal the show.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Finlay

This is a Belfast Brawl, meaning street fight. It’s also part of a VERY long and complicated story as Vince McMahon was told that Hornswoggle was his son, which didn’t sit well with Finlay. JBL beat Hornswoggle up one night until it was eventually revealed that Finlay was really Hornswoggle’s dad. This is Finlay’s chance for revenge. Hornswoggle is here with Finlay because….well why wouldn’t he be?

Some forearms knock Finlay off the apron to start but he whips JBL into the steps and takes it inside for the opening bell. Finlay throws in the standard assortment of weapons, with JBL getting in a trashcan to the head. The alternating trashcan lid/cookie sheet shots to the head keep Finlay in trouble and it’s time for some steps. The piledriver onto said steps is blocked and this time it’s JBL taking the metal sheet shots. Hornswoggle comes in for a kendo stick shot, allowing Finlay to grab the club for a few swings to the jaw.

Since Finlay would rather have revenge (makes sense), he puts a trashcan on JBL’s face and grabs a table. You know, because we need tables. JBL gets back up so it’s a hard clothesline to knock him right back down. Since Finlay isn’t working so well for him, JBL goes outside and slaps Hornswoggle around, earning himself a beating from Finlay.

For some reason Finlay tries a suicide dive, which is knocked out of the air with a trashcan lid shot. JBL PELTS a trashcan at Hornswoggle but the Clothesline is broken up with another can. There’s the Regal Roll and JBL gets thrown through the table in the corner for two. Finlay takes a little too long picking up the steps though and gets them sent into his head. The Clothesline From JBL is good for the pin at 8:37.

Rating: C+. This was a perfectly watchable brawl and that’s all it needed to be. There was no need to put this on later in the night either as JBL winning was a bit deflating and you don’t want to kill the crowd off later in the show. Get it out of the way and let the fans have a fun garbage match. Smart opener and a good little warmup.

We go to host Kim Kardashian (just go with it) for an explanation about Money in the Bank. Mr. Kennedy comes in and gets in her face, which I’m sure is completely beneath her stellar career.

John Morrison vs. Carlito vs. Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. MVP

Money in the Bank with Kennedy technically defending, though that’s not really a thing in a match like this. Morrison is a Smackdown Tag Team Champion (with Miz), Shelton is in his awful Gold Rush period, MVP is US Champion and Jericho is Intercontinental Champion because of course he is.

Everyone but MVP goes to the floor for an early ladder with MVP being smart enough for one to be thrown in and then kick Morrison off the apron. MVP picks up the ladder and starts using it as a weapon but Jericho brings in his own and knocks MVP’s away. Morrison throws a smaller ladder at Jericho’s before taking it up top for a moonsault with the ladder to the floor. It’s rather early for something that insane but it looked great. Everyone but Jericho is down on the floor until Kennedy runs back in and sets a ladder up.

That’s broken up by Jericho, who for some reason catapults Kennedy onto the ladder so Morrison has to ride a ladder out of the corner to get up top for a save. Benjamin is back in with his own ladder and it’s a superplex from Kennedy to Morrison with Benjamin adding a sunset bomb for your second crazy spot of the match. Carlito shoves Shelton’s ladder over….so Shelton lands on the top rope and jumps right back, though the ladder breaks. Punk goes up with Kennedy making another save so Punk gives Shelton a GTS.

Carlito cleans house next and crushes MVP’s leg in a ladder. That earns Carlito a Dragon Whip so Shelton can climb but Carlito and Kennedy turn the ladder over, sending Shelton down through a ladder bridged between the apron and the ring. The stunned looks on Carlito and Kennedy’s faces make up for the clearly wooden ladder being broken. MVP shoves Kennedy, Carlito and Jericho down and it’s Morrison going up, with Jericho being right there for the Walls on top of the ladder (that always looks cool).

Jericho has to let go to stop Kennedy though, allowing Punk and Carlito to springboard in from either side. Punk and Kennedy go down so Carlito hits the Backstabber off the ladder to bring Jericho down. JR: “A WRESTLEMANIA BACKSTABBER!” MVP is all alone so he goes up, only to have Matt Hardy run in as a surprise for a Twist of Fate off the ladder. Jericho gets back up and knocks Morrison into the corner where he interlocks two ladders upside down into a V shape.

Carlito gets sent into one side, meaning a ladder is instantly stood up. Morrison climbs up but gets it shoved back down, crotching Morrison on the top with Punk taking a ladder to the head. Jericho climbs up and gets Carlito’s apple spit in his face. Kennedy shoves Carlito into a ladder in the corner with Punk making another save. There’s a Codebreaker with a ladder to Punk, who is up fast enough to shove Jericho off the ladder and pull down the briefcase for the win at 13:54.

Rating: A-. They didn’t go with drama here and instead went with the wild series of spots, one after another. One very smart thing they did here was to get rid of someone so they only had six. That seems to be the magic number for these things and it worked well here. Punk winning the briefcase was the smart move as he’s hot at the moment and someone who could use this as a springboard to the main event scene. Heck of a match and the spectacle that belongs on Wrestlemania.

Video on the Hall of Fame ceremony. This is way better than having everyone come out and get a big presentation. If nothing else for the sake of time.

Here’s Howard Finkel to introduce the Hall of Fame class:

Jack and Gerry Brisco (Jack should have been in years ago)

Gordon Solie (perfect choice in Florida)

Rocky Johnson

Peter Maivia

Eddie Graham (represented by Mike Graham, who probably invented Wrestlemania)

Mae Young (who has to be kept from stripping)

Ric Flair (Charlotte has short hair here and it’s REALLY weird to see her like that)

And yes, there were just seven inductees and no one lame. It’s like this can be well done without any jokes.

Snoop Dogg, the emcee of the Playboy match tonight, is a big Festus fan. Santino Marella comes in to interrupt and doesn’t like the idea of the Playboy match. Snoop rings a bell and sends Festus running after Santino. Mick Foley shows up and apparently is cool with Snoop.

Batista vs. Umaga

Smackdown vs. Raw with Teddy Long and William Regal (show bosses) at ringside. No story here other than a battle of brand supremacy and a few brawls. Some right hands to the head have little effect on Umaga so Batista shoulders him out to the floor for some more success. Back in and Umaga goes kind of aerial with a spinwheel kick and Batista is knocked outside this time. Some hard whips into the corner have Batista in trouble and an uppercut makes things worse.

The nerve hold goes on as the fans certainly seem to approve of Umaga. The middle rope headbutt misses but Batista’s back gives out on a slam attempt. We’re right back to the nerve hold before a Samoan drop gets two. Batista fights back with right hands and is loudly booed. He’s fine enough to block the Samoan Spike and Umaga’s charge goes into the post. The spinebuster sets up a Batista Bomb (with Batista falling down) for the pin at 7:07.

Rating: D. Well that certainly clears up which show is better. This was a lame power match that didn’t get much time, which might be the best solution in this case. Batista was in need of a freshening up at this point and Umaga was just the resident monster. It’s this year’s version of “get them on the show somehow” and they didn’t exactly click.

Tale of the Tape for Floyd Mayweather Jr. vs. Big Show.

ECW Title: Kane vs. Chavo Guerrero

ECW GM Armando Alejandro Estrada handles the introductions. Kane won a battle royal on the pre-show to earn this shot and comes in from the crowd to win here with a chokeslam in twelve seconds. Exactly what it needed to be, but please tell me Joey Styles and Tazz didn’t have to sit at ringside for everything before or after this match.

And now, Maria and Carlito with an ad about…..Wrestlemania?

Raven Symone is here because of a disabled kids’ charity.

We recap Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels with Flair’s career on the line. Late last year, Vince McMahon decided that Flair would have to retire the next time he lost (partially because Vince is Vince and partially because Flair said that he would never retire). Flair went on a long winning streak but asked to face Shawn at Wrestlemania. Shawn made it clear that he didn’t want to finish Flair’s career but would do what he had to do, even if it meant putting Flair down like Old Yeller. There was little hiding the fact that this was going to be Flair’s last match, but it was his chance to go out with one more classic.

Ric’s plan for tonight: to be the man.

Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels

Flair has the blue robe one more time and while I’m still a fan of the black and white one, I can’t help but smile at seeing the classic look again. Shawn shoulders him down to start and it’s clear that they’re going to have all the time they want here. They trade some hammerlocks with Shawn getting the better of it on the mat. That’s broken up as well and we get the first WOO.

The chops in the corner let Flair yell about Old Yeller but Shawn slaps him in the face and asks if that’s all he has. An exchange of chops in the corner goes to Flair (as it should) but Shawn elbows him in the jaw and goes up. This time Flair slams him off the top and goes up…..for a crossbody into a near fall! You would think that would get more of a reaction but he has to fail at an early Figure Four attempt.

Shawn kicks him to the floor and tries an Asai moonsault, which only hits the announcers’ table, with his ribs landing on the edge which doesn’t break (I’ve seen that many times and it draws a very real cringe). That’s only good for a nine count and Shawn can barely move because of the ribs. A belly to back suplex gives Flair two and he manages a delayed vertical for the same. Note: Charles Robinson (Little Naitch) is referee here and for some reason he’s in a Smackdown shirt. Yeah he’s a Smackdown referee, but you can’t just throw him in a Raw shirt for the occasion?

Flair’s neckbreaker gets two more but Shawn sends him outside. That means a moonsault to the floor which takes Flair out and bangs up the ribs even more. They chop it out back inside and it’s Shawn’s forearm into the nipup as the pace picks up a bit. A slam drops Flair and Shawn’s top rope elbow connects, meaning it’s time to Tune of the Band. Shawn can’t bring himself to do it though and Flair grabs the legs and slaps on the Figure Four in the middle of the ring.

The hold is turned over and they load up the bridge into the backslide….but Flair just can’t do it anymore so they go into a rollup instead. It’s time for the chop block and NOW the Figure Four is on for real. Shawn crawls to the rope so Flair stomps away some more until the referee drags him away. That’s enough of a delay for Shawn to hit Sweet Chin Music for a very close two and the fans go nuts on the kickout.

Shawn loads it up again but stops to tell Flair to get up. That means a low blow (again, you knew he was getting that in somehow) for two more and the fans really bought the near fall. To mix things up a bit, Shawn sweeps the legs and tries a reverse Figure Four (thank goodness it wasn’t a Sharpshooter) to send Flair bailing to the ropes this time.

A rollup with tights gets two and they chop it out from their knees. The chops bring them to their feet and Shawn hits another superkick to put Flair down. There’s no cover though as Shawn goes into the corner and Flair slowly gets up. Shawn says the now legendary I’m Sorry, I Love You and superkicks Flair one more time, this time for the pin at 20:34.

Rating: B+. I don’t remember truly liking this one before and that’s because there are different ways to look at it. It’s hard not to look at a match like this through the emotional lens but if you take that away (which you kind of have to given that Flair wound up wrestling again), it’s actually a heck of a match with all of the old Flair tropes thrown in. Those worked for so long because it’s a great formula that can work against anyone. When you add in Shawn’s second to none abilities, there was no way this wouldn’t be outstanding.

The problem though is that Flair just can’t do a lot of this stuff anymore. He’s trying as hard as he can and what he could still do was good, but seeing him not be able to bridge up anymore was rather sad because it’s something he’s done for so many years before. I don’t remember liking this match that much but it really is a strong one, even ignoring all the other things added to it.

Post match Shawn leaves the ring and a crying Flair gets to his feet for one of the best standing ovations you’ll ever see. This is more than deserved and while he should have retired a long time ago (you could argue all the way back in the 90s), he was far from embarrassing himself and someone as influential, successful and downright talented as he was should absolutely get this kind of a sendoff. And for those who are wondering why, this was originally going to close the show but Flair refused and insisted it go in the middle.

Smackdown World Champion Edge talks about sitting in the crowd at Wrestlemania VI as the biggest Hulkamaniac in Canada. Then Hulk Hogan lost, and Edge lost his innocence with it. Undertaker has been the conscience of WWE for years but tonight Edge is bringing a cold hard dose of reality to the fans. There’s probably a kid in the audience who believes that anything can happen, even 16-0. Tonight, Edge is taking that kid’s innocence and walking out as the new Phenom and still World Heavyweight Champion.

Pyro signals the start of the second half of the show.

Beth Phoenix/Melina vs. Maria/Ashley Massaro

This is the Playboy match with the rest of the women’s division as lumberjacks. Snoop Dogg is the master of ceremonies and of course he comes to the ring in a leopard print Mercedes golf cart. Snoop handles the introductions, but first throws in a couple of WOO’s in Flair’s honor. Santino is here with Beth and Melina as he doesn’t like Maria posing.

Ashley hurricanranas Beth to start and the fans are rather quiet. Some double teaming has Beth in more trouble but it’s off to Melina, who gets kneed by Maria. A lot of spinning around and screaming sets up a Bronco Buster (without the running start) to Melina. Ashley hits a middle rope X Factor but gets sent outside for a beating from the lumberjacks. We settle down to a bearhug from Beth before she puts Melina in an electric chair and flips her backwards into a moonsault.

Ashley kicks out at two and Maria dives in for the save a full second later, making things look even worse. And then the lights go out because everyone is sick of this match. A spotlight lets us see Maria kicking Beth in the head and reversing the Glam Slam into a bulldog for two. Everything breaks down and Maria dives onto Beth for two with Santino making the save. That brings Lawler to his feet to knock Santino down, leaving Beth to hit a fisherman’s buster to pin Maria at 5:59.

Rating: D-. Yeah what else were you expecting here? The wrestling was terrible and the villains had to tone it WAY down for this not to be a disaster. The fans didn’t care and they couldn’t even see parts of the match, though I don’t think they particularly cared. It just wasn’t good but it served its purposes of eye candy and a breather from the emotional moment.

Post match Santino poses with Melina and Beth but gets laid out by Snoop.

We recap the Raw World Title match. Randy Orton is champion, HHH is feuding with him for the title, and John Cena, who never lost the title, won the Royal Rumble in a shocking return after being stripped of the title due to injury.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton vs. HHH

Orton is defending. Cena’s big introduction this year is via a high school marching band, which is a pretty cool idea. After Cena’s entrance, we get a poll on who will win with Cena getting 52% and Orton finishing dead last at 8%. HHH gets a regular entrance, though it includes one of my favorite Wrestlemania shots: the closeup and the camera swinging around to show the sheer size of the stadium with all the people. Orton belts HHH in the face to start so Cena bulldogs the champ and grabs a release fisherman’s suplex.

HHH is right back in with a sleeper to Orton, allowing Cena to try a double FU, though it’s way too early and they both slip off. Orton takes both of them down and alternates with the stomping a they’re certainly starting fast. A jumping knee to each gets two each for the sake of symmetry as the fans are actually into this, meaning they are in fact alive after the women’s match. Cena is up and puts Orton on top but gets caught in a Doomsday crossbody…which he rolls through anyway with HHH having to break up an FU.

A pair of clotheslines leave Orton as the only one on his feet so he grabs a hanging DDT to both of them at once for another pair of twos. The RKO to Cena is countered with Orton being knocked onto HHH and it’s a top rope Fameasser to the champ. It’s too early for the STFU (yes U) though as Orton bails to the floor and posts Cena to take over again. That’s enough for HHH to start in on Orton’s leg but he has to deal with Cena, allowing Orton to nail a quick RKO.

Cena is back up with the STFU and Orton has the hand up to tap, only to have HHH guide the hand down onto the rope instead. HHH sends Cena into the steps and continues the torture of Orton continues with an Indian Deathlock. Cena makes the save and sends HHH outside this time, setting up another STFU on Orton.

Back in and HHH can’t pull Cena off of Orton so he puts Cena in a Crossface for the break instead. That’s broken up as well and it’s a big time slugout between HHH and Cena. HHH walks into the flying shoulder and the Shuffle but the STFU is kicked away. The spinebuster plants Cena and HHH cuts Orton off before hitting the Pedigree on Cena….but Orton Punts HHH and pins Cena to retain at 14:09.

Rating: B. This was a tale of two matches with HHH and Cena having a Wrestlemania match and Orton running in and out as much as he could to mess with things. Orton just does not feel like he’s on this level (which has often been the case) and it was the case again here.

You could feel the crowd deflate when he won the match, which makes sense as a heel and it does make him feel more definitive as a champion, but it came off like we were waiting on some big moment and instead got Orton. Again. These title matches and reigns completely run together over the years and this is just another (good) match in a very long series.

Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather Jr.

Big Show returned at No Way Out after over a year off. Mayweather was at No Way Out as well and came over the barricade to hit some crazy fast punches to a kneeling Show, one of which broke his nose. Now we’re having the freakshow match, which could be highly entertaining. However, with that out of the way, eleven years after the angle, I still have no earthly idea who I’m supposed to cheer for. Is it the wrestler? Is is the loudmouthed guy who is in way over his head from a physical standpoint? Is it the guy who was attacked and wants revenge? Is it the guy who is one of the best fighters of all time? Why is this so complicated?

Anything goes here and you can win by pinfall, submission or knockout. Money rains down for Mayweather’s entrance and he has seven people with him. Mayweather is smart enough to dodge around to start and he peppers Show with some fast shows to the ribs. A right to the jaw makes Show mad and Mayweather punches him a few more times to make it even worse. Hang on though as we need to stop so Mayweather can have a drink from…..a jewel chalice?

Show beats on the entourage as the smoke and mirrors begin. Mayweather looks on as Show chops a bodyguard and starts dancing around again. A right hand is caught and Mayweather slips away before Show can stomp on it. Show sits him on top but that just lets Mayweather get in a much better right hand, setting up the required sleeper/choke on the back. Show finally realizes that Mayweather is the size of a teenager and throws him off, setting up the stomp on the hand. Mayweather’s manager: “YOU CAN’T BE DOING THAT!”

Mayweather takes the SHH chop in the corner and the pain is intense. Apparently Show can’t do that either and a side slam (which brings the fans to their feet) probably isn’t approved either. Show legdrops the arm and stands on the stomach and it’s time for the entourage to pull Mayweather out, saying they’re done because this isn’t what they signed up for.

They head back to the ring where one of the bodyguards chairs Show in the back. Mayweather gets in a few more shots and a low blow, followed by more chair shots to the head. One of the gloves comes off and Mayweather steals some brass knuckles from the down handler for the knockout win at 11:34.

Rating: B. Yeah this is still a blast. Confusing as I have no idea who to cheer for (seriously, try to figure that out), but it’s so much fun with all the wackiness that only makes sense in wrestling. Mayweather would be a much bigger heel today (and someone that WWE couldn’t afford) but what we got here was all kinds of entertaining and one of the most fun things on the show.

Wrestlemania ad, featuring Batista.

Kim Kardashian announces the attendance and sounds miserable again.

We recap Edge vs. Undertaker. The video starts with a look at the Streak, which morphs into a video of Edge costing Undertaker the title multiple times, including by cashing in Money in the Bank. Edge is going to make it 15-1 and it turns into the standard “I’ll break the Streak/the Streak will live on” video. In other words, another well done package.

Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. Edge

Undertaker is challenging and we’ve got druids with torches. Teddy Long wheels out Edge’s fiance Vickie Guerrero, who kisses him for luck in a story that felt like it would never die. Some early clotheslines put Edge on the floor and Undertaker gets in his Stunner over the top rope. The jumping clothesline (more like a shove here) gets two and it’s time for Old School, with Edge pulling him down, only to have Undertaker armdrag Edge down instead. I’ve never seen that otherwise and it’s rather out of place for Undertaker.

Edge avoids a charge though and Undertaker goes outside, with Edge knocking him into the barricade for a bonus. A swinging neckbreaker across the top rope has Undertaker in more trouble and a running shoulder in the corner makes it even worse. Edge goes up and gets knocked off the top, setting up a Taker Dive that doesn’t get as much of a reaction as you would expect.

There’s the apron legdrop (Coach calls it a dropkick) but Undertaker’s back is bothering him. It’s bad enough that he can’t hit the Last Ride, allowing Edge to boot him back to the floor. Back in and it’s a half crab to work on the weakened back, followed by Edge laying next to Undertaker and pulling on both legs at once. A rope is grabbed and that means it’s time to slug it out, which you don’t do against undertaker. Snake Eyes connects but the big boot is cut off by a dropkick for another near fall.

The chokeslam is countered into the Edgecution for two but another chokeslam connects just fine. Old School is broken up again with a crotching and it’s a top rope superplex for a delayed two. For some reason Edge hammers away in the corner so it’s the Last Ride…with Edge slipping out because he’s still several steps ahead of Undertaker. Another Last Ride attempt works this time (with Edge almost landing on his head) for two more as they’re trading bombs now.

The Tombstone is broken up and the Edge-O-Matic drops Undertaker. He’s fine enough to pop back up and FINALLY connect with Old School but Undertaker kicks the referee down by mistake. That means a spear to put Undertaker down but, like many great ones before him, Edge takes too long running his mouth and gets grabbed by the throat. Unlike many other great ones before him, Edge gets in a low blow and steals a camera (which he used at Survivor Series).

The running shot to the head connects but the referee falls to the floor. The camera cuts away from the situp for no apparent reason, followed by the Tombstone to Edge. Charles Robinson sprints down the crazy long ramp to count two after a funny sprint. Cue the Edgeheads (Zack Ryder/Curt Hawkins) for a distraction but Undertaker gets rid of them, only to walk into a spear for two. The second spear connects but this time Undertaker pulls him into Hell’s Gate for the tap at 23:49.

Rating: A-. This is a forgotten classic that almost never gets the respect it deserves. Edge having all of the counters and making you believe that he could have just enough tricks up his sleeves to pull off the upset was a great story and the action more than lived up to the hype. This match never gets old, but it also never gets remembered, which is quite the shame as it’s awesome.

Undertaker poses and the long highlight package ends the show.

Overall Rating: A. Why don’t more people talk about this one? The only two bad matches are Batista vs. Umaga and the women’s tag and those don’t even combine for fifteen minutes. This is another well paced show (clocking in at less than three hours and fifty minutes) with one great match after another. I always have a good time with this one and if you tweak it just a bit, it’s on the all time list. Excellent show and worth another look if you haven’t checked it out lately.

Ratings Comparison

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Finlay

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: C+

2019 Redo: C+

Shelton Benjamin vs. CM Punk vs. Carlito vs. Chris Jericho vs. MVP vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. John Morrison

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B-

2019 Redo: A-

Batista vs. Umaga

Original: F+

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: D-

2019 Redo: D

Kane vs. Chavo Guerrero

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

2019 Redo: N/A

Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B-

2019 Redo: B+

Beth Phoenix/Melina vs. Maria/Ashley

Original: F

2013 Redo: F+

2015 Redo: D-

2019 Redo: D

John Cena vs. HHH vs. Randy Orton

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B

2019 Redo: B

Floyd Mayweather vs. Big Show

Original: D-

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: B

2019 Redo: B

Edge vs. Undertaker

Original: A-

2013 Redo: A

2015 Redo: A-

2019 Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: C-

2013 Redo: A-

2015 Redo: A-

2019 Redo: A

Was I just in a really good mood or something this time?

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/31/583/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/04/02/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xxiv-the-underrated-classic/

And the 2015 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/04/03/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xxiv-2015-redo-one-woo-for-the-road/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania XXII
Date: April 2, 2006
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 17,159
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

It’s time for the biggest night of the year and this time around it has been rather fun. The Raw side has been a heck of a build while the Smackdown side has been hit and miss at best. This is one of the more forgotten Wrestlemanias (given that the image on the poster was of John Cena vs. Booker T., a match which hadn’t taken place in over a year at this point, you can kind of tell that they aren’t caring all that much) and it’s also the last one to date in a regular arena. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

Eugene, Viscera, Goldust, Snitsky, Rob Conway, Tyson Tomko, Lance Cade, Trevor Murdoch, Matt Striker, Super Crazy, Psicosis, Funaki, Steven Richards, Joey Mercury, Johnny Nitro, Animal, William Regal, Simon Dean

Half from Raw and half from Smackdown, so yes they are wearing the designated shirts. Dean tries to do his intro and gets kicked in the face for the immediate elimination. Richards gets rid of Conway and Funaki goes out as well. There goes Cade, followed by Goldust getting rid of Richards. Striker is out too and there go Crazy and Goldust as the ring is cleared out in a hurry. Snitsky gets rid of Regal and MNM dumps Eugene after a Snapshot.

We get the Raw vs. Smackdown showdown and Murdoch and Psicosis go out back to back. We’re down to Viscera, MNM, Snitsky, Tomko and Animal with Viscera and Animal being the targets for the other four. Viscera misses a charge in the corner but beats up MNM without much trouble. That means a double Visagra (Cole: “Melts in your mouth, not in your hand!” What in the world could that possibly mean in this context?) and Melina is nearly sick. It gets even worse as Viscera tosses MNM to get us down to four.

Snitsky kicks Tomko out by mistake and the LOD chants start back up. A big boot to Animal lets Viscera get rid of him, much to the crowd’s annoyance. Snitsky misses a running big boot though and Viscera wins without touching Snitsky at all. Cole: “I was hoping that would go on for another 15-20 minutes!” Tazz: “One of the best battle royals I’ve ever been a part of!” They’re bringing the Wrestlemania level snark this year.

Rating: D. Yeah this was horrible but the whole point was to get the undercard on the roster. I’m not sure on the logic of having the Chicago guy get all the way to the final three and then have him lose for the sake of Viscera, but I guess they don’t want a heel winning to open the show. Not that it would have mattered as it would have been one of the pops of the night, but it’s not worth getting annoyed about in the first place as it was a six minute battle royal before the feature presentation begins.

Post match Viscera kisses Lilian, who doesn’t seem thrilled.

Michelle Williams of Destiny’s Child sings America the Beautiful. You know they’re getting in those American visuals every year and this is no exception.

The opening video looks at some great Wrestlemania moments over I Dare You by Shinedown. I like the song so this is a pretty good combination. They switch over to another song and the matches for this year’s show. That’s a nice mix that they tend to do well most years.

The posters of wrestlers around the top of the arena are a nice touch.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Carlito/Chris Masters vs. Big Show/Kane

Show/Kane are defending and we get the always awesome visual of the city set being on fire during Kane’s entrance. Masters shoulders Kane down to start as JR says this is the first tradition two on two tag match for these titles since Wrestlemania XV. How do you go that long without doing the normal version? Kane is back up with a leapfrog into a dropkick and it’s off to Show for the loud chops in the corner. A poke to the eye allows the tag off to Carlito, who gets a HECK of a reception (one of the loudest reactions I’ve ever seen for him), though Show throws both he and Masters around with ease.

Carlito gets gorilla pressed over the top onto Masters (seemingly elbowing him in the face on the way down) and Kane hits the top rope clothesline onto both of them. Back in and a double flapjack actually gets two on Show, with the replay showing a ram into an exposed buckle had something to do with it. Kane gets the tag so Show has to break up the Masterlock. Everything breaks down and Masters saves Carlito from the chokeslam. Masters hits Carlito by mistake when trying to save him again, meaning Kane can boot Masters to the floor. Not the chokeslam can hit Carlito to retain the titles.

Rating: C-. It was basically a more energetic Raw match and that works well enough for a Wrestlemania opener. I tend to like something like this more than some white hot match to open the show as it means you can go up from here. Carlito and Masters hadn’t been treated as threats to the title coming into the show so it makes sense for them to be little more than an annoyance here.

Post match, Carlito and Masters argue, with the fans being entirely behind Carlito. No violence ensues though.

Shawn Michaels, with a bandage on his head, says he doesn’t regret saying that Vince McMahon needed to grow up. Last year he and Kurt Angle tore the house down and the year before that, he did the same thing with Chris Benoit and HHH. Tonight, Shawn is going to be a different version of himself. Tonight, Vince McMahon needs to bow down and pray because Shawn is taking him to his own personal h***.

Matt Hardy vs. Finlay vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Ric Flair vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Rob Van Dam

Money in the Bank, allowing Cole to get in his first (to be fair in this case, minor) slip up of the night by saying Edge cashed in after John Cena’s Armageddon match. It’s a big brawl to start and the fans are behind Van Dam early on. Hardy goes for the first ladder but Van Dam takes him down with a slingshot dive onto the ladder onto Hardy for the crash. A ladder is bridged against the ropes so Shelton gets a running start for a huge flip dive to take down all of the young people.

Flair and Finlay fight in the ring (go on) but Matt comes in for the save with a superplex to bring Flair off the ladder (egads man). So Flair screams a lot and gets the X treatment (thanks to his knee), meaning we’re going to be down a person after about two and a half minutes. Lashley goes up top but Shelton grabs a sunset bomb. He can’t get Lashley down though so Finlay and Hardy go into the hurt business to bring Lashley crashing to the mat. Hardy crushes Finlay with the ladder in the corner until Finlay throws it back at him.

Finlay loads up the ladder but here’s Flair (after about three minutes away) to cut him off. Chops abound and Flair goes up again until Finlay makes the save with the Shillelagh, making Flair take another bump he shouldn’t be taking. The briefcase is swinging back and forth so Finlay can’t pull it down, allowing Shelton to go up as well. Lashley breaks that up and hits the Dominator on Benjamin, so Van Dam has to dropkick a chair into Lashley for the save.

Matt’s screaming legdrop from the ladder hits Lashley but he has to Side Effect Finlay off the ladder. Finlay gets knocked down as well though and Rob hits a splash off the very top of the ladder for the big crash. Van Dam goes up so Shelton does the always insane springboard onto the top of the ladder (because he can just do that) and hammers away. Matt brings in another ladder and climbs up to slug away at Shelton, who steps over to the other ladder. Rob shoves them both over for the big crash to the floor (always looks great) though and pulls down the briefcase to win.

Rating: B. This was good but not quite up to the standard that the big ladder matches have. It wasn’t all that long either and they didn’t have time to build much up. Shelton got in the big, impressive spots but there were enough high level bumps to go around. Van Dam and Flair were the only realistic winners here too so they picked one of the best options. Not as good as the others, but it still did what it was supposed to do.

New Hall of Famer Gene Okerlund is interrupted by Randy Orton, who doesn’t think much of someone who held a microphone for thirty five years. He promises to win the Smackdown World Title tonight but here’s Batista to say whoever leaves as champion is just holding it for him. Next year, he’s going to be champion at Wrestlemania XXIII.

It’s time for the Hall of Fame class, minus Bret Hart, who was not comfortable with appearing.

Gene Okerlund (No one did it better.)

Sensational Sherri (How was she not in already?)

Tony Atlas (He always seems happy to be around.)

Verne Gagne (Doesn’t mean anything directly to WWE, but you don’t have a wrestling Hall of Fame without him.)

William Perry (Sure, but he couldn’t get a suit? Or a tie? Or a shirt that tucked in?)

The Blackjacks (Again, how were they not in already?)

Eddie Guerrero (Yep.)

Vickie Guerrero looks rather overcome by the reception in a touching moment.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

JBL, with Jillian Hall, is challenging and the ramp raises up so the limo can drive in. After commentary can manage to stop talking about Jillian’s cowgirl look, they bring up JBL wanting to prove that he can beat another great technical wrestler after Eddie Guerrero. They go straight to the slugout to start until Benoit drop toeholds him to try the Crossface. JBL is able to block it so Benoit headbutts him in the back of the head, which is a rather intense next step.

Some forearms to the neck keep JBL in trouble and a chop takes him down again. It’s too early for the Sharpshooter though and JBL bails to the floor to hide behind Jillian. Back in and JBL hammers him down in the corner until he misses a charge, allowing Benoit to roll the German suplexes. JBL crotches him on top though and hits the Eddie dance for some good mocking. The superplex brings Benoit down in a crash, allowing JBL to dance some more. He even hits two Amigos before having to boot Benoit in the face to cut off the comeback.

We hit the chinlock but Benoit fights up with more suplexes. The Swan Dive gets a close two but JBL blocks another Crossface attempt. He also blocks a German suplex with a grab of the rope and the referee, allowing him to….actually not cheat. Instead the Clothesline From JBL is countered into the Crossface, which is countered into a cradle (with a grab of the rope) to give JBL the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. This has always been a bit of a weird one for me as JBL wasn’t exactly a hot challenger coming in but he did pick up the title, which reheated him in a hurry. He wasn’t going to make it back to the World Title anytime soon (or ever, as he didn’t need it), but he needed to win something instead of losing over and over again. This was good enough though and it’s hardly a stretch to see JBL win a match over Benoit.

We recap Edge vs. Mick Foley. Edge accused Foley of costing him the Raw World Title and wanted to beat him down, so Foley agreed to a fight. Foley wanted that one Wrestlemania moment and Edge is starting to realize that he might be in over his head.

Edge vs. Mick Foley

Hardcore match, Joey Styles joins commentary, Lita is here with Edge and Foley’s flannel shirt is buttoned up for a change. Edge has a bat to start but the early swings miss and Edge drops it to the floor. Foley slugs away in the corner and puts Edge in the Tree of Woe for the running elbow to the face. Lita throws in a metal sign though and it goes upside Foley’s head over and over. The spear hits early….and Edge is in a lot of pain, as Foley opens up the shirt to reveal a band of barbed wire wrapped around his stomach.

Foley cuts himself free and ties Edge in the ropes, meaning it’s time to grab the barbed wire bat. Lita tries for the save so it’s the Cactus Clothesline to Edge, sending all three outside in the process. Foley is certainly bringing it early on. A neckbreaker on the floor drops Edge and Foley pounds him down but his charge is hiptossed into the steps for a REALLY painful looking crash. There go Foley’s knees into the steps and it’s time for a chair. Edge loads up a table on the floor but Foley rolls off before Edge can come off the top.

Instead Edge slams him head first into the steel ramp (for a SICK thud)….and it’s time for the lighter fluid. Edge covers Foley in the fluid but gets piledriven for two. Foley grabs the chair but a Lita distraction lets Edge hit a DDT. Foley is busted and the barbed wire bat to the head makes it even worse. It’s time for the thumbtacks but Foley slams Edge (with no shirt) down onto them for the really big reaction.

A barbed wire Mandible Claw goes on and now it’s Edge being hit with the barbed wire bat over and over. Now it’s time for Foley to spray the table with lighter fluid but Lita hits Foley in the knee with the barbed wire bat. The table is set on fire and Edge hits the spear through the ropes and through the fire for the pin.

Rating: A. What is there to say about this? They massacred each other and Foley bled all over the place before taking a huge bump to end the match. This was a different side of Edge and it’s the side that needed to be shown to make him feel like more than a flash in the pan. This felt like two people wanting to hurt each other and then getting to do so, as Foley continues to know how to make someone into a much bigger star than almost anyone else.

Edge and Lita looking like they’re in physical shock after the match makes it a lot better.

With that out of the way, it’s time for Booker T. and Sharmell to be scared of the Boogeyman. Booker insists that he isn’t a freak magnet and runs into Paul Burchill, Ted DiBiase not letting Eugene dribble a basketball to win money, Snitsky doing…something to Mae Young’s foot as Moolah watches, and Goldust dressed as Oprah. Goldust says they’re all freaks and the only way to beat the Boogeyman is to put the worms in his…and it’s whispered in Booker’s ear. A ticked off Booker leaves with Sharmell.

Some fans won tickets to the show from Snickers.

Booker T./Sharmell vs. Boogeyman

Booker makes Sharmell start, jumps Boogeyman from behind, and then comes in to hammer on Boogeyman. The comeback doesn’t take long and Booker is sent into the post. Boogeyman eats some worms and stares at Sharmell for trying a staff shot to the back. Sharmell gets kissed with the worms and runs off, leaving Boogeyman to chokebomb Booker for the pin.

Rating: F. Of course this is a failure as there isn’t anything to be praised here. It was the three of them doing a short, bad match and the big deal was Sharmell getting a mouth full of worms. There isn’t much else to it than that and the fact that this aired at Wrestlemania at any point after about 1991 tells you why it’s a failure.

We recap Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James for the Women’s Title. Mickie is a psycho who was obsessed with Trish (they never said the word lesbian but that’s what they were going for) but Trish wasn’t interested. Once Mickie was flat out turned down, she completely snapped and decided to take the Women’s Title instead. This feels like a big fight and that’s a good thing around here.

Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Trish Stratus

Trish is defending. They fight over a lockup to start as JR tries to diagnose Mickie’s mental state. The Thesz press (JR: “Maybe the Louise Thesz press.”) puts Mickie down but she comes back with a kick, only to be thrown into the splits. A baseball slide puts Mickie on the floor but Trish kicks the post by mistake. Mickie wraps the leg around the post in a smart move and there’s a dropkick to the knee to make it worse.

The fans get behind Mickie and she wraps the leg around the ropes. The half crab goes on before it’s time to stomp on the leg in the corner. Mickie stops to soak in the cheers and bends the leg some more. This time Trish reverses into the spinning anklescissors but the fans aren’t happy with the comeback. The Stratusphere is countered with another slam of the leg to the mat as Lawler notices that Mickie’s skirt isn’t the most functional in a match.

Trish comes back with a Stratusfaction attempt but Mickie grabs her between the legs (on the Network) and licks her own hand (not on the Network) as JR loses it. Mickie tries the Stratusfaction but she either leaves it short or Trish can’t hold her on the knee, meaning they botch it horribly (also not on the Network). Mickie settles for the Chick Kick for the pin and the title. JR: “THE NUT JOB HAS WON THE TITLE!”

Rating: B-. This was getting really good near the end but then the botch happened and it stopped everything cold. The leg stuff was good and while it would have made more sense to have Trish’s knee give out when she was trying the Stratusfaction, it worked for a story in the match as Mickie knew how to break the thing down. More importantly though, Mickie FINALLY ends Trish’s year long plus reign and becomes the new star, which is long overdue. They needed to have the title change here as Trish had run out of gas a long time ago but it wasn’t like she had anyone good enough to drop it to.

Vince McMahons has the rest of the family drop to their knees in prayer before his match with Shawn. Vince: “God, let’s face it. I don’t like you, and you don’t like me.” Vince praises his own physique and promises to end Shawn.

Mark Henry vs. Undertaker

Casket match and the druids take their time wheeling the casket to ringside. Undertaker does the full entrance and Henry manages to keep glaring at him before jumping him to start things off. Some running clotheslines don’t do much to Henry so he runs Undertaker over with a single shot. They head outside with both guys going head first into the steps. The fans are in am ore traditional role here with the Undertaker cheers, which are cut off when Henry blocks Old School.

A low blow saves Undertaker from going into the casket and now it’s time to go after the arm. Old School connects this time but he still can’t get Henry down. Henry runs him over again but misses the running crotch attack and gets dropped into the casket. Undertaker follows him in and the lid closes before opening up with Undertaker’s hand around Henry’ throat.

They get back inside with Henry hitting the World’s Strongest Slam and covering because he isn’t that bright. Speaking of not that bright, Henry hammers away in the corner but gets planted with the Last Ride. Undertaker throws him onto and over the casket, setting up the Taker Dive (which barely clears the casket). Back in and a pretty impressive Tombstone lets Undertaker put him in the casket for the win.

Rating: D. Another one which didn’t work so well, mainly because there was no drama. Who was believing that Mark Henry was going to be the one to break the Streak? The Taker Dive and Tombstone both looked great but there isn’t much of a way around the fact that it was Mark Henry trying to break the Streak. It had no drama and wasn’t even that long, leaving this near the bottom end of the Streak (at least once it became a big deal).

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon. Shawn told Vince that it was time to get over the Montreal Screwjob and grow up so Vince decided to destroy Shawn once and for all. He has done a great job of making Shawn miserable and now it is time for Shawn to FINALLY get his hands on Vince in a no holds barred match.

Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon

No Holds Barred and there is a big framed copy of Vince’s Muscle and Fitness Magazine at ringside. Shawn jumps him to start and sends him into JR as the WE WANT BRET chants begin. The framed magazine goes around Vince’s head and Shawn is all ticked off. Cue the Spirit Squad to beat Shawn down though and hit the five man toss into the air. JR: “Someone get the hook!” Shawn gets their megaphone (which is smoking/powdery for some reason) and beats them down though, which sends them off for some reason.

Vince, now bleeding above the eye, gets in a clothesline to take over and it’s time to choke in the corner. The leather belt rips Shawn’s back up and it’s time to choke. Vince actually tunes up the band but Shawn blocks the kick (which had height but was nowhere near the right form) and hammers away. JR: “How are your stock dividends now???” The top rope elbow connects but here’s Shane with a kendo stick to take Shawn down. Always one to rub it in, Vince drops his pants but Shawn puts Shane’s face into it instead, followed by a low blow to Vince.

A clothesline puts Shane on the floor but that’s not enough, as Shawn handcuffs Shane to the rope. The Shane dance sets up a bunch of kendo stick shots to Shane and there’s a heck of a chair shot to Vince’s head. Lawler: “CUBS WIN! CUBS WIN!” Vince is busted open and Shawn tunes up the band….before stopping cold. Instead he goes outside and grabs a ladder, which goes straight into Vince’s forehead.

Shawn still won’t cover as he grabs some trashcans and a table instead, even shoving Shane away to get to them. The trashcan to the head drops Vince again and Shawn goes up the ladder. Then he climbs back down and pulls out the BIG ladder. Shawn climbs again, does the suck it sign, and elbows Vince through the table for the huge crash. Medics bring a stretcher out but Shawn scares them off, stands Vince up, yells a lot, and finishes with the superkick.

Rating: C+. Of course it’s junk as an actual match, but this was exactly what they set it up to be. There is no reason to believe that Vince can hang with Shawn in a regular match so he didn’t really come close. Vince brought in a bunch of people, Shawn beat them up and then the beating began. Shawn destroyed him completely (or at least until the next night on Raw, or maybe a week later if they’re feeling generous) and it made sense. Might have gone a little long, but it was the logical way to go.

Post match Vince is taken out on a stretcher and still flips Shawn off. Cole talks about how Shawn promised to never go back to his old self but did it here. Not exactly, as it was just Shawn being violent and aggressive, which isn’t quite what they were talking about on the way here.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle for the Smackdown World Title. Rey won the Royal Rumble to earn the title shot but Orton talked enough trash to get him to put the shot on the line at No Way Out. Orton cheated to win, but Teddy Long put Rey in the match too, making it a triple threat.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Randy Orton vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is defending and POD plays Rey, in an Aztec warrior costume this year, to the ring. Orton jumps Angle with the belt before the bell to start but Angle is right back in with a German suplex to Orton, plus a double German to both of them at once (with Rey flying through the air). An overhead belly to belly takes Orton over as well but Rey sends Angle face first into Orton’s crotch.

Angle is fine enough to send Rey up for a super hurricanrana to Orton before throwing Rey outside. Rey breaks up the ankle lock attempt and kicks Angle in the head for two as the fans are split between Rey and Kurt. The 619 is countered into the ankle lock and Rey taps (less than four minutes in) but the referee is with Orton. The German suplexes take down both challengers and an Angle Slam to the floor drops Rey in a heap. That means an ankle lock to Orton but this time Rey grabs the referee so he can’t see a tap.

Rey Drops the Dime on Angle but gets knocked outside again. The RKO connects for a delayed two on Angle and Randy goes up top, earning himself the running belly to belly superplex. Rey is back in with the springboard seated senton for two more on Angle and Orton is back in to kick Angle to the floor. The powerbomb neckbreaker gets two on Rey but the RKO takes too long, allowing Angle to come back in with the Angle Slam on Orton. Rey slips out of the Angle Slam and armdrags Angle to the floor. That leaves Orton to be dropkicked into the ropes for the 619 into the West Coast Pop for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. This is still one of the more perplexing big matches in Wrestlemania history as it had no real structure other than them doing moves to each other. Nothing was built up, nothing set up the finish and Rey just pinned Orton to win. It was fine as it was, but I was expecting a lot more, including more time as it didn’t even last ten minutes.

Post match the Guerreros come out to celebrate with Rey.

JR and the King talk about HHH and John Cena being ready for tonight. They needed two minutes for this instead of the other World Title match? Ah right: they needed to put a bed and pillows in the ring. Great way to use the Wrestlemania time.

Torrie Wilson vs. Candice Michelle

It’s the annual Playboy match pillow fight so JR talks about Frank Gotch gate records in Chicago during the entrances. They to to the bed to start and then hit the catfighting. Torrie turns the bed over on her and then puts her dog on Candice’s face. Candice loses her dress and then puts on a headscissors over the ropes while bending backwards over the ropes. A middle rope elbow hits Torrie on the bed and it’s time to cut Torrie out of her dress. Candice pulls out her Playboy but gets rolled up for the pin.

Rating: D-. Yeah this happened and that’s about all there is to say about it. They were there to promote Playboy and it worked well enough, even though the Playboy Diva is usually a face and someone who wins but not quite this time around. It wasn’t exactly a match of course, but why would you expect anything else?

We see clips of the Wrestlemania press conference, with HHH saying the match against John Cena will be easy and Cena saying not so fast. HHH won a tournament to get the shot so there isn’t much of a story.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. John Cena

Cena is defending and HHH, sitting on a throne in a Thor/Conan motif (the announcers say Conan but he had a big hammer), rises out from the stage. Cena on the other hand comes out after a gangster video and following an old car, complete with CM Punk as a machine gun toting gangster in one of the more well known Before They Were Famous cameos. Still as close as he ever got to the Wrestlemania main event. We get an old school weapons check as JR puts over the idea of the grunt vs. the seasons, trained professional to give us a good story to the match.

They fight over the arm control to start and Cena is sent into the corner for some frustration. The fans are almost entirely behind HHH here, or at least the loud ones are. The FU doesn’t work and they stare each other down again. Cena is sent outside for a big cheer but he comes back in to slug away. A backdrop gives Cena two and the fisherman’s suplex gets the same.

We’re already into the chinlock as the fans tell Cena that he can’t wrestle. There’s the big whip over the corner to send HHH to the floor and another backdrop puts him on the ramp. Back in and HHH hits the jumping knee for a positive reaction as commentary keeps talking about the crowd reactions. HHH whips him hard into the steps and the fans even pop for him breaking the count.

Back in again and the facebuster into a running clothesline gets two on Cena, with JR calling it a slobberknocker. A pair of neckbreakers gets two more and we hit the neck crank. HHH switches to a sleeper and then a chinlock as JR gets the World Title wrong and has to apologize to Rey Mysterio. Cena fights up and hits his own clothesline before winning the slugout. There’s a powerslam and Cena initiates the finishing sequence but the Shuffle is countered with a spinebuster for two more. Another sleeper is countered into a belly to back suplex and it’s the Shuffle into the STFU.

HHH finally makes the rope and escapes the FU before sending Cena into the referee in the corner. That means a low blow to both of them, meaning HHH can give us the crotch chop. It’s sledgehammer time and Cena is knocked silly for a delayed two. The FU gets the same and the fans are popping hard on these near falls. Cena misses a high crossbody so HHH tries the Pedigree but Cena pulls him into the STFU, even trapping the arm so HHH can’t make the rope. It takes some time but HHH finally taps and Cena retains.

Rating: A-. That’s the ultimate achievement on Raw and the win that Cena really needed to become THE guy. He had been champion for almost a year straight but still felt somewhat like someone who hadn’t made it all the way to the top yet. Cena had been the guy, but he wasn’t THE guy until this one and that’s a big change.

The match itself was great as you would expect from these two on the big stage. They played up the idea that Cena was in over his head but ground out another win as he tends to do. Cena was getting better at the big matches around this point and of course that would become one of his calling cards down the line. This worked well and felt like a Wrestlemania main event as the company is now Cena’s, which is what matters most.

The celebration and five minute highlight package wraps us up.

Overall Rating: B-. Just like it did in the buildup, Raw annihilated Smackdown here with the two matches that made the show and a lot of other good stuff in between (plus winning Money in the Bank). Edge vs. Foley and the main event certainly deliver, but the rest of the show isn’t anything great. There are some really bad parts on here but the rest is good enough. That may sound good, but I’d like a little more than “good enough” for Wrestlemania.

The biggest problem here is that there really aren’t many blow away moments. Cena winning was more of a long term deal, Rey winning the title felt more like Eddie’s big farewell, Money in the Bank is all about the future and Trish finally losing is hardly top tier stuff. Shawn getting the win against Vince was nice to see, but that middle finger after the match doesn’t make it seem like a blowoff. The problem here is Smackdown, as there wasn’t much of note other than Rey’s title win. It was a one sided show between the two brands and when the show is built around both, it doesn’t work so well, Good, but forgettable.

 

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Wrestlemania XVIII
Date: March 17, 2002
Location: SkyDome, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 68,237
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

I say advertised because there’s a match on the card that really is the main event. Back in February, the New World Order debuted in the WWF, meaning Kevin Nash (Diesel), Scott Hall (Razor Ramon) and Hulk Hogan himself made their returns. Hogan got right to the point as well, accepting a Wrestlemania showdown with the Rock. Let’s get to it.

Sunday Night Heat: Scotty 2 Hotty/Albert/Rikishi vs. Mr. Perfect/Test/Lance Storm

Storm is a serious Canadian wrestler and Albert now enjoys dancing under the nickname the Hip Hop Hippo. Perfect returned at the Royal Rumble and had a short but nice run. Jacqueline is guest referee here. Albert quickly charges into raised boots in the corner but comes back with a quick powerbomb for two.

It’s off to Test for some hard right hands to Scotty in the corner but Storm comes in and gives up the hot tag to Rikishi. Everything breaks down and Rikishi cleans house, eventually crushing Perfect in the corner. Perfect is ready though and blocks the Stink Face with his towel. That’s not cool with Rikishi so he sits on Perfect’s chest for the pin at 3:06.

Rating: D+. Another nothing match here but the popular team won and gave the people something to cheer for. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and again that’s probably the right idea for a warmup match. The dancing guys were over and a fun act so why not let them beat up three guys with nothing else going on?

Dancing ensues post match.

Instead of O Canada, Saliva opens the show with the theme song Superstar. This eats up four minutes of the show, which is likely time that other matches could use later on. At least it wasn’t a rock version of America the Beautiful.

The opening video, narrated by Undertaker of all people to start, talks about how this is the biggest night of the year. Other names talk about how big this show is and they treat it like the only thing that matters all year. This fits well with the tagline of the show “The One And Only.” The only matches discussed are Hogan vs. Rock and HHH vs. Jericho, which are the only ones that really deserve attention.

Just like last year, it’s a sea of people that just keeps going. That never gets old.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. William Regal

Regal is defending and Van Dam debuted last year during the Invasion. Rob starts with a quick spinning kick to the face so Regal already loads up his trademark brass knuckles. Van Dam is ready though and kicks them off his hand, only to miss an early Five Star Frog Splash attempt. A suplex and the Regal Cutter (arm trap neckbreaker) get two each for the champ and we hit the chinlock.

That goes nowhere other than to show that Regal has a bloody lip so he tiger bombs Rob for two. Rob fights back and (on the second try after some mistiming) monkey flips Regal out of the corner. A hard half nelson suplex sends Rob out to the floor. The referee checks to make sure that Rob isn’t dead so Regal pulls out the knuckles, only to get kicked in the face, setting up the Five Star to give Rob the pin and the title at 6:20.

Rating: C. This went fine and was a nice way to get the show going. Rob was a fun act and one of the more popular guys on the roster at this point so giving him a title win in a quick match made sense. Regal is still a great choice for a midcard heel who can lose, get built up again in no time, and be evil all over again.

We recap Christian attacking Diamond Dallas Page (former WCW World Champion) after Page helped him win a match. Page had helped Christian get over a losing streak and now Christian doesn’t need him. Christian says he’s over his temper tantrums, just like he’s over this stupid city and now lives in Florida. He’s ready to get his European Title back and that’s not a good thing for Page.

European Title: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Christian

Page is defending and is a really happy motivational speaker with shiny teeth. Christian is finally free from Edge or any other partners, giving us this awesome opening to his theme song, sung in an operatic style: “CHRISTIAN! CHRISTIAN! AT LAST YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN!” Christian goes after the champ to start but Page comes back with a gutwrench gutbuster. Some right hands are in the corner are broken up by a Christian low blow. For some reason the referee didn’t think much of Page’s face going from normal to looking like someone had hit him low very hard in a split second.

Page pays him back by trying to crotch him against the post but Christian pulls him into the steel instead. A reverse DDT into a backbreaker gets two for Christian so he goes up top, only to have Page climb to the bottom rope for a press slam. Page can’t hit the Diamond Cutter though so Christian grabs a backbreaker for two. That almost drives him to a fit but he doesn’t have time as the Diamond Cutter retains Page’s title at 6:10.

Rating: D. Not much to see here as Page really didn’t have a following in the WWF because he was such a homegrown WCW star. Christian was in a weird place here as he wasn’t rising up the card like Edge and was really just one half of a tag team without a partner. The match didn’t do anything for me but the Diamond Cutter always works. Page would lose the title to Regal later in the week.

Post match Page laughs at Christian but says he’s proud that there was no tantrum in front of SIXTY SEVEN THOUSAND PEOPLE. Christian of course snaps in a funny moment.

Rock talks about this being a huge match and he wants Hulkamania at its peak tonight. He asks interviewer Jonathan Coachman (Coach) if he took his vitamins this morning. Coach did, but he didn’t say his prayers. That’s not good enough for Rock so he wants Coach to say his prayers right now. Rock demands that Coach put his hands together and get on his knees to pray.

Coach: “What up G? It’s Coach here. I just wanted to give you a quick shout out.” Rock: “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???” He literally kicks Coach out and asks what Hogan is going to do when the Rock runs wild on him. Hogan is going to hear the people, he’s going to feel the People’s Elbow and good God almighty he will smell what the Rock is cooking. This was pure Rock charisma and it never gets old, just like Rock picking on Coach.

Hardcore Title: Goldust vs. Maven

Maven, defending here, won Tough Enough eliminated Undertaker from the 2002 Royal Rumble. Goldust quickly knocks Maven to the floor to start and drops an elbow from the apron. Back in and Maven dropkicks a gold trashcan into Goldust’s face for two but a neckbreaker gets the same on the champion. Now it’s time for a golden shovel to Maven’s throat but both guys connect with a trashcan lid to the head. Cue Spike Dudley with his own referee to pin Maven and win the Hardcore Title via the 24/7 rule.

Rating: D-. This is what people are talking about when they say the division was a mess at this point. They would do this same idea for months but it gave people laughable numbers of title reigns with three people having the title over twenty times each. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and wasn’t going to be good anyway.

Crash chases Spike off.

Drowning Pool plays a song called Tear Away which “tells the story” of Jericho vs. HHH. In other words it’s a music video on the Titantron set to the song. Again: time that could have gone to something else. Well not the Hardcore Title match. Anything but that.

Crash and Spike fight in the back when Al Snow speeds in on a golf cart with his own referee, only to crash through cardboard boxes. The Hurricane (a superhero) swings in on a rope and pins Spike to win the title.

JR and Lawler talk about what just happened and then show it again. IT WAS THIRTY SECONDS AGO!

Kurt Angle vs. Kane

Angle has his black singlet on this year and goes on a rant about how much he hates Canada for whining until they won an Olympic medal (reference to a controversy over figure skating) in his usual funny stuff. There isn’t much of a story here but Angle caused Kane some head trauma and Kane wants revenge.

Kane does the fire from the posts but Angle decks him in the head with the bell, which the referee doesn’t see as a DQ because of reasons. Kurt drops him with a German suplex but Kane comes back with your standard choking. A belly to belly sends Kane flying again though and Kurt is right back on him.

Some Olympic style choking has Kane in trouble and it’s a belly to back suplex for two. JR calls Angle the high potentate of the suplexes. You would be better with alliteration Jim. Three rolling Germans get two on Kane so Angle goes aerial, only to get clotheslined out of the air. A tilt-a-whirl powerslam gets two on Kurt but the chokeslam puts him into the ropes.

Kurt shows his intelligence (one of the three I’s, along with intensity and integrity) by going for the mask, setting up the Angle Slam for two. That means it’s ankle lock time but Kane kicks him away and goes up, only to have Kurt run the buckles and superplex Kane back down. Kane comes right back with a chokeslam attempt but Angle rolls through into a cradle with his feet on the ropes and Kane’s shoulder WAY off the mat for the pin at 10:43.

Rating: C. Well that happened. This was a match that was just kind of there and didn’t go anywhere for the most part. The head trauma was forgotten a few minutes into the match, which just left them having a decent wrestling match. That’s fine in theory but it’s not the most interesting thing in the world when there’s no story.

Hurricane hides in a women’s locker room as the girls talk about their implants. Godfather chases him off after some unfunny jokes involving a rising broomstick.

We recap Undertaker (evil again and with short hair) vs. Ric Flair (co-owner of the company due to the fallout of the Invasion). Flair attacked Undertaker to prevent him from cheating at No Way Out so Undertaker wanted a match at Wrestlemania. Ric didn’t want to do it so Undertaker attacked Ric’s friend Arn Anderson and Ric’s son David to get the match made. Flair’s authority was stripped through Wrestlemania so Vince made the match No DQ.

Ric Flair vs. Undertaker

No DQ. Undertaker gets to do another long entrance on the motorcycle. They go straight to the floor with Flair tackling Undertaker over the announcers’ table. Undertaker comes right back by driving Flair into the post as things start getting a lot more violent. Flair’s punches have as little effect as ever so Undertaker throws him into the corner for the Flair Flip and a big boot to put Ric on the floor again. There’s something so entertaining about watching Undertaker punch people in the face, especially when it busts the other guy open like it’s done to Flair here.

The blood starts flowing so Undertaker kicks him in the head but Ric’s chops make Undertaker scream. There’s even blood on the camera lens. A top rope superplex makes the flashbulbs go off but Undertaker (bleeding from the cheek) picks him up at two. Undertaker slowly punches him in the face but Old School is broken up to continue a Wrestlemania tradition.

Some chops put Undertaker on the floor and it’s time for a lead pipe to the big man’s head. That’s not enough to make him sell though so Ric tries the thin metal signs instead. Those work better than a lead pipe for reasons of “wrestling is cooky” and a low blow has Undertaker in even more trouble. The Figure Four goes on but Undertaker remembers that he’s 7′ tall so he does the sit up and grabs Flair by the throat to break the hold.

The referee gets beaten down and now it’s time for Undertaker to have the pipe. Cue Arn Anderson with the spinebuster to save Ric but Undertaker is up at two. Arn gets busted open as well so Ric has to make the save with a chair. That’s fine with Undertaker as he kicks the chair into Ric’s face but for some reason he can’t get the Last Ride. Instead it’s a Tombstone to make Undertaker 10-0 at 18:47.

Rating: B. I liked this better than I remember as you had Flair going into his old school style and making the match last longer than you would normally see here. Undertaker beating him down slowly but surely worked as well with Flair getting his his hope spots where he could. Undertaker had to win here though and that worked very well.

Booker T. is insulted that Edge thinks he isn’t intelligent. He even won an award for his thesis on Einstein’s Theory of Relatives. They’re also fighting over Edge stealing a Japanese shampoo commercial from Booker. That’s one of those stories that you never see again but it was certainly different. I’d love to see more feuds like that. WWE can mix stories up because it creates the universe they live in. Why stick with the same ideas over and over again when you can do almost anything you want?

Edge vs. Booker T.

Edge, the hometown boy here, is on his own as well and rising up the singles ranks. An early dropkick puts Booker down but a hot shot gets him out of trouble. A clothesline puts Edge on the floor (But doesn’t mess up his hair. That shampoo must be working.) and a missile dropkick gets two for Booker. Edge crotches him on top though and scores with a hurricanrana.

It really is interesting to see Edge’s different style before he hurt his neck and became another main event brawler. Take this top rope spinwheel kick for two here. Can you imagine him doing that later in his career? It sounds like a completely different wrestler. Edge’s spear (that sounds more like him) hits the buckle so Booker has time to get in a Wrestlemania Spinarooni. JR: “I tried that last week on my porch.” Now the spear connects for two and Edge does a Spinarooni of his own, followed by the Edgecution (elevated DDT) for the pin at 6:33.

Rating: C-. Standard Raw match here and only on the show because of Edge’s hometown. There was a sign in the crowd that said “THEY’RE FIGHTING OVER SHAMPOO!” I know it sounds goofy but again: would you prefer them fighting over the same old stuff that doesn’t inspire anyone? Nothing match here, but what can you do in less than seven minutes at Wrestlemania?

Mighty Molly (Molly Holly as a superhero) hits Hurricane with a frying pan and steals the title.

We recap Steve Austin vs. Scott Hall. The NWO targeted Austin and cost him his WWF World Title shot at No Way Out so Austin kidnapped Hall and tied him up. The NWO responded by breaking a cinder block over his right knee. For reasons that still aren’t clear, Austin started selling the left knee.

Steve Austin vs. Scott Hall

Austin doesn’t even get to come out first. My goodness that’s quite the fall. Hall brings out the injured (shocking) Kevin Nash but Austin punches away to start. Some rams into the buckle draw the WHAT chants (still going strong nearly fourteen years later). A quick shot to Nash distracts Austin and Hall starts hammering away as Nash takes a buckle pad off. Austin is whipped hard into the exposed steel, followed by a big clothesline for two. Even Nash gets in a shot from the floor as this really would have been better as a handicap match.

Austin grabs a spinebuster to buy himself some time and follows up with a quick Stunner but Nash pulls the referee to the floor. Hall brings in a chair but Austin kicks and Stuns them both. Nash beats up the second referee so Austin backdrops Hall to the floor. A team of referees come out to eject Nash (you don’t mess with a referee posse) as Hall sends Austin into the exposed buckle. Scott gets in a Stunner of his own (more similar to the pre-superstar Austin version) for two but Austin comes back with two more Stunners for the pin at 9:53.

Rating: C-. I wasn’t feeling this one as Austin was clearly missing a major spark. By his own admission he wasn’t in a good place at this point and would walk out on the company for nearly a year just a few months after this. It doesn’t help that Hall vs. Austin really isn’t a very compelling match, though Hall might have set a record for taking the most Stunners in one match.

Axxess video. A girl meets Undertaker and breaks into tears. Even as a heel, you can see that Undertaker is touched.

Tag Team Titles: Billy and Chuck vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz vs. APA

Elimination rules. Billy and Chuck (Billy Gunn and Chuck Palumbo (a young WCW guy) as a very, shall we say, close team) are defending. Saliva plays the Dudleyz to the ring and their manager Stacy Keibler dances with the band. The APA jumps the champs to start and Bradshaw throws both of them with fall away slams. Chuck finally gets in a clothesline to Faarooq and the champs stomp him down in the corner.

It’s quickly back to Bradshaw and the APA brawls with Billy and Chuck as the other two teams just let them fight. D-Von finally gets tagged in as the fans are really not interested in this one. Bradshaw turns Billy inside out with his clothesline but turns around into 3D to eliminate the APA at 3:25. The Hardys come in and clean house on the champs as the Dudleyz load up a table on the floor.

Jeff drops Bubba with a Whisper in the Wind but Stacy comes up onto the apron and hikes up her shorts for a distraction. All that earns her are a spank and a kiss from Jeff but he walks into a Bubba Bomb. A big backdrop sets up a chinlock on Jeff as the match is already dragging. Off to D-Von for a hard clothesline before Bubba puts Jeff in the Tree of Woe and stands on his crotch (just like Matt got last year). Jeff finally scores with a clothesline and it’s a double tag to Bubba and Matt.

Bubba quickly runs Matt over but misses the middle rope backsplash (JR: “Has he ever hit that move?”). Chuck, who is still in the match despite not doing anything for about eight minutes, shoves D-Von off the top and through the table, leaving Bubba to get caught in a Twist of Fate and Swanton for the elimination at 11:49. The Hardys take over on the champions and it’s the Twist and Swanton to Chuck but Billy hits a quick Fameasser on Jeff to give Chuck two. Not that it matters as Billy comes in with the title belt to knock Jeff out and retain at 13:51.

Rating: D+. WAY too long here and the division continues to die for want of something fresh. We’ve been having the Dudleys vs. the Hardys for years and the next solution was to split up the titles in the fall, which wound up being an even worse idea. Billy and Chuck were fine but this match needed something a lot better than nearly a ten minute Hardys vs. Dudleys match that had been done a hundred times and then two bookend segments.

Hall and Nash say Austin got lucky and plan an attack on Rock tonight. Hogan comes up and calls it off because he needs to do this one himself.

Christian slams a door into Molly’s face for the pin and the title.

We recap Hogan vs. Rock. It was a very simple build: Hogan talked about being a legend but said the fans turned on him. Rock came out and said that Hogan was the one that changed before challenging him to a match at Wrestlemania. Hogan agreed, then hit Rock in the head with a hammer and crushed him with a semi truck. Rock didn’t bother selling the injuries though so it’s really just a battle of the generations.

The Rock vs. Hollywood Hogan

Make no mistake about it: this is the main event. Hogan is here alone and instantly the biggest face on the roster because Toronto is an old WWF town. Rock is nearly booed out of the building for the second year in a row. They stare each other down and you can feel the energy. The bell rings and we get the big lockup with Hogan shoving him down and posing for a standing ovation. Hogan is only the heel in name only here and everyone knows it.

A shoulder puts Rock down and it’s 1987 all over again as Hogan plays to the crowd. Hogan even calls him a meatball as a callback to Rocky III. Now it’s Rock shoving him down and telling Hulk to just bring it. The Rock Bottom doesn’t work and it’s Hogan punching even more. A clothesline sets up an abdominal stretch on the Rock as they’re keeping it very simple so far with big moves to fit the stadium style.

The fans boo Rock out of the building for some chops in the corner so Hogan comes back with a chokeslam of all things. They head outside with Hogan hitting him in the back with a chair. Back in and we’ve got a ref bump which really isn’t needed here. Rock hooks a Sharpshooter and Hogan makes the ropes, only to tap when Rock drags him back to the middle.

A loud ROCKY SUCKS chant breaks out but Hogan turns it into cheers with a low blow and a Rock Bottom of his own. It’s weightlifting belt time but Rock grabs a DDT, allowing him to do some whipping. The Rock Bottom connects…..and he Hulks Up. Hulk kicks out at two and 68,000 people are suddenly five years old again and Hogan is their hero. It’s as if he apologizes for every bad thing he’s done in just a few seconds and the fans accept him with open arms.

The three punches, the big boot and legdrop (JR: “HE BEAT ANDRE THE GIANT WITH THAT MOVE!”) get two so Hogan loads up another leg but it’s Wrestlemania VI all over again. There’s a second Rock Bottom, followed by a third and Rock nips up. The People’s Elbow puts Hogan away at 16:23.

Rating: B. This is ALL about the crowd as the in ring action was ok at best. The fans carry this to an epic encounter though and the ending was the only option they had. Hogan is the biggest name ever but this isn’t WCW and a guy ten years past his prime doesn’t beat the biggest star in the business at the time. That Hulk Up spot is one for the ages and it was done so perfectly that it’s the part of this show people remember more than anything else. Not a great match but an incredible performance and spectacle.

Post match Hogan gets to his feet and stares Rock down again before weakly extending his hand. Rock shakes it and leaves but here are Hall and Nash to beat Hogan down for reasons that aren’t entirely clear. Rock comes back in for the save and it’s posing a go-go. They knew they had something with Hogan here but they had a short time window. He was World Champion in April and lost it a month later, but the idea worked at the time.

Big Show is at WWF New York.

The new attendance record is announced.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Jazz vs. Lita

Jazz is a tough fighter from ECW and defending here. Lawler is in pure lust over Trish in her Maple Leaf (remember she’s from Toronto) shorts. Jazz easily throws them around to start with a double chicken wing and butterfly suplex to Lita. Trish saves Lita from a superplex but kicks her in the head for two. A reverse DDT gets two on Jazz with Lita making the save. Now it’s Lita vs. Trish but Lita has to give Jazz a Twist of Fate. The moonsault hits Trish’s knees and Jazz is sent out to the floor. Stratusfaction is broken up and Jazz grabs the Jazz Stinger (fisherman’s superplex) to pin Lita at 6:16.

Rating: D+. This one didn’t work but they were in the death slot out there. Jazz retaining isn’t the best idea as she had the in ring abilities but no charisma. Trish and Lita were both over but they hadn’t quite become the stars that they would be later on. The good thing here is that the fans were still getting over Rock vs. Hogan and were ready for the main event so the result isn’t the worst thing in the world. Things would get even worse for Lita as she would break her neck a few weeks later and be out nearly a year and a half.

Maven rolls Christian up to get the title back and then steals Christian’s cab to escape. Yeah the whole thing is a big waste of time.

No recap of the main event this year (if only there had been about nine minutes that could have been spent on it instead of two completely worthless musical performances). Jericho won the Undisputed Title by beating the Rock and Steve Austin in the same night (in case you hadn’t heard that before) while HHH was out. HHH returned in January to win the Royal Rumble and earn this spot, but he’s also split up with Stephanie, who has aligned herself with Jericho. In other words, it’s a tacked on way to have her involved here and try to make you think that HHH isn’t winning by a mile.

WWF World Title: HHH vs. Chris Jericho

Drowning Pool plays HHH to the ring with a different song and it really doesn’t work. Jericho still has both belts here as the Undisputed Title would debut soon after this show. HHH has a big bandage on his thigh from the torn muscle. The bell rings and you can already hear Stephanie yelling because she’s very loud and can’t be quiet for ten seconds. HHH starts firing off right hands but makes the mistake of using the flying knee and injures himself.

Chris goes up top instead of staying on the leg but HHH shoves him out to the floor. Back in and Jericho wakes up by finally kicking HHH in the leg. That’s not cool with HHH though as he starts working on Jericho’s leg and even gets a Figure Four until Stephanie rakes the eyes for the break. HHH pulls her to the apron and Jericho accidentally drives a shoulder into Stephanie’s ribs.

The Pedigree to Stephanie is broken up with a missile dropkick and it’s back to the bad leg again. We get the Figure Four around the leg and a lot of yelling at Stephanie. Jericho’s spinning toehold draws a HOGAN chant until HHH kicks him shoulder first into the post. The spinebuster gets two on the champ but he sends HHH hard over the corner and out to the floor on the bad leg. Jericho tries to put on the Walls while HHH is on the table (a move he used after HHH tore his muscle in the first place) but has to settle for a backdrop through the table instead.

The Lionsault gets two back inside and now we hit the Walls. HHH FINALLY makes the rope for the save so it’s time for a chair. Stephanie’s distraction backfires though as HHH DDTs him onto the chair, drawing Stephanie into the ring. We get the big Pedigree but the crowd is spent at this point. Jericho hits him in the back with a chair (uh Chris, notice the BIG BANDAGE ON THE LEG YOU’VE BEEN WORKING ON FOR TEN MINUTES) and then tries a Pedigree like an idiot. HHH shows him how to do it properly and wins the title at 18:41.

Rating: B-. It’s good but anti-climactic. This was eighteen minutes of people working over the leg, which can only go on for so long. The Stephanie stuff was fine but the whole match was just waiting around for the big Pedigree to give HHH the title back. That was the only option they could go with of course and it worked to a degree. The problem is this wasn’t so much of a match as much as it was a countdown to HHH winning the title. It’s an idea that can work, but if you’re just sitting there waiting for something you only kind of want to see, it gets dull in a hurry. Good match, predictable story.

HHH celebrates a lot.

The now traditional four minute highlight package closes us out.

Overall Rating: B-. This show is really just kind of there. Other than Rock vs. Hogan, it’s a VERY forgettable Wrestlemania, at least partially because HHH would only hold the title until Backlash where he dropped it to Hogan. It’s definitely not a bad show but there’s stuff on here that could have been cut (the Hardcore Title, the musical performances, a lot of the Tag Team Title match) to get this down to a much more manageable show. It’s much more forgettable than bad, but sometimes that’s even worse.

Ratings Comparison

Rob Van Dam vs. William Regal

Original: C

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: C

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Christian

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: D

Maven vs. Goldust

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: D-

Kurt Angle vs. Kane

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: C

Undertaker vs. Ric Flair

Original: B

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: B

Edge vs. Booker T

Original: C

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: C-

Steve Austin vs. Scott Hall

Original: D

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: C-

Billy and Chuck vs. APA vs. Dudley Boys vs. Hardy Boys

Original: F

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D+

Rock vs. Hollywood Hogan

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B

Jazz vs. Trish Stratus vs. Lita

Original: F+

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: D+

HHH vs. Chris Jericho

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: C

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: B-

I went back and forth a lot on that one but it still came out about the same. That’s interesting.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/25/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-18-should-have-been-hogan-vs-austin/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/27/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xviii-an-actual-dream-match/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania VIII
Date: April 5, 1992
Location: Hoosier Dome, Indianapolis, Indiana
Attendance: 62,167
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

This was one of the names mentioned for a possible redo so I’ll throw it in as a bonus. On his podcast, Bruce Prichard mentioned this as one of the worst Wrestlemanias ever and I’m really not sure why. The show features a double main event with Ric Flair defending the WWF World Title against Randy Savage and Hulk Hogan’s possible retirement match against Sid Justice. Let’s get to it.

Vince McMahon gives us the big over the top introduction as only he can do. It only talks about the double main event but really, nothing else is worth talking about.

Gorilla and Bobby (with a VERY visible section of empty seats between their heads, which will be a recurring problem tonight) intro the show with Heenan looking for the pictures. Those would be promised “centerfolds” of Elizabeth, which Ric Flair has promised. More on this later.

Reba McIntyre singes the Star Spangled Banner. It’s odd to hear anything but America the Beautiful.

Tito Santana vs. Shawn Michaels

Tito is a bullfighter (it didn’t work then either) and Heenan says he’s McIntyre’s sister. Heenan: “That’s arriba McIntyre!” Shawn has Sherri with him and we get a cool shot from behind with Shawn looking up at the huge stadium. This is his first singles Wrestlemania so it’s quite the big moment for his career. Heenan thinks Shawn is a future Intercontinental Champion. He’s a few months early but he certainly can call things.

We get a long stretch of Sherri leaving and some trash talk before we actually do anything because stalling is a thing on stadium shows too. They start fast (once they start that is) with Tito getting two off a crossbody and headlocking him to the mat. Shawn gets sent outside in a heap and that means it’s time for the over the top selling. We hit the headlock again and MY GOODNESS there are some half empty sections very visible in the upper deck. If that happened today, the production staff would all be fired.

Tito pops him in the jaw and Sherri is panicking at the thought of Shawn’s face being damaged. It’s back to the headlock and Shawn can’t even throw him off with a lift into the air. Heenan swears that he’s won a match with a headlock and that someone even gave up during instructions.

Back up and Shawn finally throws him over the top for a huge crash to take over. A backbreaker keeps Tito in trouble as Sherri is taking her glove off for some reason. We hit the chinlock and even more of those empty sections are shown. There’s almost no angle you can show here that doesn’t display them and it’s really distracting. Tito fights up but charges into the superkick (not yet a finisher) and Heenan declares no more tacos tonight.

The Teardrop Suplex is broken up and Tito scores with his flying forearm (Heenan: “That’s the Flying Jalapeno!”) to send Shawn outside. Back in and Tito slugs away, allowing Shawn to do the overblown Wrestlemania selling for the first time. El Paso Del Muerte (jumping forearm to the back) sends Shawn to the floor and Tito tries a suplex, only to have Shawn grab the rope and fall on top for the pin at 10:38.

Rating: B-. Good opener here as Tito is one of those guys who is always good for a solid performance. Shawn’s star was clearly on the rise here (give someone Sherri if you need them to get a rocket attached to their back) and a win in a competitive match was a good start. Solid match here and that’s all it needed to be.

Gene Okerlund is on the platform and brings out the Legion of Doom for an interview, including manager Paul Ellering. Paul talks about the need to put the team together in the first place and now revenge has brought them back together. He’s not here to get rich but to get even. Animal talks about facing and defeating adversity and now it’s time to get revenge on everyone, including Jimmy Hart and Money Inc.

Hawk says they’re a runaway train and now, look who’s driving the train. Paul wraps it up by saying they’re going to earn their money the old fashioned way: beating people for it. They want the titles back and don’t care who they have to beat to get them back. Ellering was good for the team in the NWA but I have no idea why he was needed here. Or why he’s somehow back in WWE twenty six years later.

Jake Roberts isn’t bringing a snake back to the ring but he will recap his feud with Undertaker. He’s gone full evil to go after Ultimate Warrior but since Warrior left the company, Undertaker turned face on Jake, setting up the match. Jake trapped Undertaker’s hand in the casket on the Funeral Parlor and laid Bearer out with a DDT, followed by a chair shot to Undertaker. Evil Jake was awesome but this was a bit of a different kind of animal.

Jake Roberts vs. Undertaker

I love that pulling himself up from the corner thing that Jake does. Diamond Dallas Page borrowed it from him and it’s not all that surprising. Jake slugs away to start and reality sets in very quickly. A running right hand puts Undertaker on the floor but Jake gets pulled outside as well. The beating is on and the fans are WAY into a fired up Undertaker.

Back in and Jake’s right hands still don’t have much effect so Bobby starts making Munsters references. Better than the Addams Family at least. Undertaker starts choking but Jake grabs a quick DDT and you can feel the fans react. Then Undertaker sits up and it’s very clear that this is something different. Another DDT drops Undertaker again but this time Jake goes after Bearer….as Undertaker gets up again. That means a Tombstone on the floor and Jake is DEAD for the pin at 6:41.

Rating: D. This was around the time where the Undertaker would start to be the kind of attraction that the company wanted him to be. It’s clear that there’s something very different about him and beating a big name like Roberts was a great way to push him towards that goal. I mean, beating Hogan less than six months ago did it even more so but still, awesome booking here. This was Jake’s last match with the company until 1996 as he was turned down for Pat Patterson’s job and left as a result.

Roddy Piper and Bret Hart are in the back with Roddy talking about growing up together when Bret was a bit dumb. Apparently Mrs. Hart would make them sandwiches but Bret finally cuts him off. They’re supposed to have a nice contest for the Intercontinental Title but Bret wants to be serious. That’s fine with Roddy and the match is on. Bret lost the title due to wrestling with a high fever and Piper won it almost immediately. This is Bret’s big rematch and one of the most intriguing matches on the show.

Intercontinental Title: Bret Hart vs. Roddy Piper

Piper is defending. The first minute is spent with Piper taking off his kilt and some instructions from the referee. Never let it be said that Wrestlemania doesn’t know how to waste time. Piper armdrags him down to start as Monsoon actually analyzes the match, which isn’t something you get from most other announcers. Heenan’s idea: waffle the other guy with a tire iron.

Piper tries some amateur wrestling and is quickly sent outside in a huff. Back in and Piper spits at Bret and Heenan wants an apology right now. Bret wins a battle of the wristlocks and Piper can’t chop his way to freedom. Monsoon says thirty countries are watching the show live, lists off three of them, and then stops for a good fifteen seconds of silence. A running dropkick drops Piper but Bret comes up holding his shoulder. Heenan sees right through it (Bobby: “WHAT A GREAT MOVE!”) and Roddy is REALLY not happy.

Bret comes back with a running crossbody and they fall out to the floor at the same time. Piper is up first and holds the ropes for Bret but naturally gets in a cheap shot to take over. Well you know he’s the most natural heel ever so it’s not exactly a surprise. A bulldog gives Piper two and Bret is busted open (which he lied about, claiming that it was a hardway cut to save his job) somewhere in there.

Bret is fine enough to get two off a sunset flip and Heenan is begging for some more violence. A slugout goes to Piper so Bret hits a running forearm to knock him outside. Back in and a double clothesline puts them both down with Piper’s head landing on Bret. Heenan wants a count but Monsoon accurately says all four shoulders are down so there can’t be a pin. So much for the Brain.

Bret is up first with the Five Moves of Doom but Piper blocks the Sharpshooter. The middle rope elbow hits a raised boot and Piper has an opening. The referee gets bumped though and Bret is sent face first into the steps. Piper grabs the bell but can’t bring himself to do it (Heenan: “GIVE IT TO ME! I’LL HIT HIM!”), instead grabbing a sleeper. Bret climbs the corner and flips backwards onto Piper for the pin and the title at 13:52.

Rating: A-. This is the match that you point at when you need to prove that Piper can put on a good match when he’s given the chance. Bret winning the title back here was all that this should have been and the classic made it an even better moment. That ending would be used several times over the years and is rather famous in its own right, which is rather fitting when it comes from a classic wrestler like Bret. Great match here and another example of how talented both of them really are.

They shake hands to make it clear that Piper is still on the good side.

Heenan sends us to Atlanta, Georgia and the home of future WBF Bodystars Champion Lex Luger. Lex is his usual smug self and praises Bobby while calling Gorilla fat. Luger takes off his shirt to reveal a muscle shirt and Heenan is WAY too excited. He has some milk to wrap this up with Monsoon not exactly being impressed. Monsoon: “You found someone even more conceited than you are!”

The Mountie, the Nasty Boys and Repo Man are excited for the eight man tag.

Sgt. Slaughter, Jim Duggan, Virgil and Big Boss Man are excited for the eight man tag. Remember that Slaughter was main eventing the show last year.

Comedian Ray Combs is guest ring announcer for said eight man tag and of course he has some jokes. Since we can’t survey who will be good or evil (yeah you can), he’s asked 100 people (the gimmick of his Family Feud game show) about some of the people in the match. The Mountie is dumb like the Three Stooges, Repo Man is ugly and looks like a girl and the Nasty Boys are only successful because they’re lucky. With that he’s chased off and we’re ready to go.

The Mountie/Nasty Boys/Repo Man vs. Sgt. Slaughter/Jim Duggan/Big Boss Man/Virgil

The good guys clean house with elbows and clotheslines as Heenan plugs some WWF names being on Family Feud. So there’s your cross promotion. Hang on though: SHAWN MICHAELS HAS LEFT THE BUILDING! Monsoon: “WHO CARES?” Well Shawn might. Anyway we settle down to Sags vs. Duggan with Jim firing off some clotheslines. I mean, as much fire as Duggan is going to have.

Slaughter comes in for some clotheslines of his own to Knobbs before dropping to his knees for an elbow to the ribs. What an odd visual. It’s off to Boss Man for a wind up uppercut but he misses a splash on Repo Man. Repo jumps onto Boss Man’s back, shouts ONE MORE TIME, and jumps right into a low blow.

Virgil, with a broken nose, comes in and gets taken down without much effort. Even Heenan is running out of ways to make fun of the people in this match because Virgil is such a joke in the first place. Sags hits a pumphandle slam but Boss Man comes in with a spinebuster as everything breaks down. Some heel miscommunication sees Sags hit Knobbs to give Virgil the pin at 6:28.

Rating: D. Wrestlemania was different back then, which might be the biggest understatement of the wrestling year. This was a house show match to pop the crowd but here it served as a way to let them cool down a bit after the title change. At least it served a purpose, but it feels so out of place on here.

Flair and his executive consultant Mr. Perfect look at the blown up picture of Liz (we can’t see it of course) with Flair swearing it’s real. Ric talks about the bright lights and the big city where Savage will try to reclaim the biggest trophy of them all. After Savage takes the beating of his life, Savage can look up and see the pictures just like everyone else. Then Liz has one more shot at Space Mountain. Perfect: “Can I come along with you this time champ?”

Savage won’t grant interviews.

Since the company doesn’t feel the need to explain the story, the idea here is Flair claimed to have been with Liz before she met Savage. As Savage is completely crazy most days and even worse when it comes to her, this sent him into the rage of all rages and set up the angle after the match was made, which is always odd. Anyway, Flair has promised to show some rather private pictures of Liz, which have only been referenced about a hundred times in the first hour and ten minutes of the show.

WWF World Title: Randy Savage vs. Ric Flair

Flair is defending and wearing red, meaning he’s likely losing (Look it up. He almost never wins a big match when he’s wearing red.). Heenan instantly says that to be fair to Flair, you have to say that’s a great robe, giving Monsoon one of his best ever WILL YOU STOP’s. Savage jumps Flair in the aisle until Perfect drags him off the champ. Heenan sums things up very well: Savage wants to hurt Flair rather than win the title so things should be going fine for Flair (and Heenan, who was in full on Flair fanboy mode here).

Flair tries an atomic drop and gets his head taken off with a clothesline. A backdrop sends Savage to the floor with one of his trademark great bumps. Savage is already favoring his back so Flair stomps away as Heenan goes into one of the best, longest rants I’ve ever heard him give on Flair not losing. Flair gets two off a suplex (Heenan: “An eighty year old woman could have counted faster than Hebner!”) and the belly to back version is good for the same. A chop takes Savage right back down and Flair drops him back first onto the apron.

Another suplex gets another two as they’ve moved to a rather slow pace. Savage manages to get in a neckbreaker and Heenan needs a drink. The required slam off the top keeps Flair in trouble and Heenan is begging for Flair to do something. I know I’m talking about Heenan a lot in this match but he’s absolutely amazing here. The Flair Flip sends Ric to the top but he dives into a clothesline for two and Heenan….well I think you can figure this one out from here.

Savage sends him outside and hits an ax handle to drive Flair into the barricade. With Flair falling down, we get one of the most obvious blade jobs you’ll ever see (nearly getting him fired in the process). Back in and Savage hammers away with another ax handle getting two. The big elbow connects but Perfect pulls Savage out at two. Thank goodness that wasn’t a DQ or they might have burned the dome down.

Perfect gets dragged in and the referee gets bumped for a few seconds, allowing Perfect to throw Flair an object. That’s only good for two as well so Perfect nails Savage in the leg with a chair. Cue Liz with a host of suits (including Shane McMahon in one of his first on-screen appearances) trying to stop her. Flair goes into his usual leg work routine and the Figure Four goes on. Heenan: “SHOW ME THE PICTURES!”

Perfect grabs the hand so the referee kicks it away, allowing Savage to turn it over and break the hold. A small package gives Savage two (and a GREAT false near fall with the crowd gasping) but Flair goes back to the knee. Savage blocks a right hand though and a rollup (with trunks) gives Randy the title back at 17:58.

Rating: A. I got WAY into this match watching it back and was having a great time with everything. The crowd completely bought into Savage’s quest for revenge with the title just being a bonus prize. All the cheating was great stuff with Savage overcoming all odds, partially due to the inspiration from Liz. The match was even different from the usual stuff with Savage having long stretches of control, which you almost never see in a match like this. Really great stuff here and an underrated classic. If nothing else just listen to Heenan’s commentary.

Post match Heenan bails from the booth and Flair tries to kiss Liz. That earns him a bunch of slaps to the face as everything goes crazy. Perfect takes Savage down and Flair goes after the knee as all the suits are powerless to stop anything. Savage fights up and cleans house before finally being announced as the new champion.

Perfect claims a handful of trunks (accurate) and says that’s not how a macho man would act. Heenan comes in and says there’s nothing to worry about because it’s all on tape. Flair says tonight, a man is going to walk around Indianapolis claiming to be the real World’s Champion and to have the love of Liz. Perfect talks about Savage taking a shortcut, which Flair has NEVER done. Perfect: “Just like his old lady! A cheater!” Ric promises to get the title back and kiss Liz whenever he sees her.

Savage can barely walk and says this isn’t done. Today was just a piece of what Flair has coming to him because he hasn’t been beaten up properly. Flair has somehow made him even madder than he was so it doesn’t matter where it is, but Ric is getting the beating he deserves. Liz isn’t allowed to say if she’s been vindicated as Savage gives her the belt, saying it’s hers. Savage if Flairs though and this is just a piece. GREAT stuff here from Savage who can play the crazed man like few others (and I use the term “play” loosely).

We recap Sid Justice vs. Hulk Hogan. Hulk had been named #1 contender and Sid wasn’t happy. Therefore he turned on Hogan during a tag match and went on a major rampage, including destroying the Barber Shop set. That was enough to change Wrestlemania as Hogan wanted to fight Sid instead. Hogan has also teased that this might be his last match, which translates to “steroids are becoming a big issue and Hogan isn’t the cleanest looking guy in the world”.

Intermission keeps going with some members of Tatanka’s tribe dancing in the ring.

Rick Martel has some reservations about Tatanka because he’s still outside scalping tickets.

Rick Martel vs. Tatanka

Yes this is on Wrestlemania as it’s just a different time. Martel knees him in the ribs to start as Heenan issues a statement on it being a matter of time until they get the title back. He lists off all of his jobs in the Flair organization with Monsoon only responding with “YOU’RE A LIAR!” Heenan offers to put em up and Monsoon laughs it off.

Tatanka elbows his way out of trouble and sends Martel shoulder first into the post. A choke takedown drops Tatanka as we’re still waiting on the announcers to acknowledge the match going on. Martel sends him hard to the floor as Monsoon says “Ric Flair” is giving a wrestling lesson right now. Rick heads up but gets crotched, setting up the comeback and a crossbody to pin Martel at 4:31.

Rating: D. Just a filler match here and there’s nothing wrong with that. Today it would be a quick comedy match or something so it’s hard to argue with something being in this spot on the card. Martel feels out of place here, though there’s nothing wrong with having a solid hand like him on the roster. You’re going to get least a watchable match out of him and this did its job, albeit not in the most entertaining way.

Tag Team Champions Money Inc. (Ted DiBiase and IRS with new manager Jimmy Hart) is ready to take care of the Natural Disasters. Hart jumped from the Disasters to Money Inc. and has told them all of the Disasters’ secrets. It’s not a bad idea and it’s not like it’s hard to boo Money Inc.

The Disasters (Earthquake and Typhoon) are ready for revenge and the titles.

Tag Team Titles: Money Inc. vs. Natural Disasters

Money Inc. is defending. IRS starts with Earthquake but bails in very short order as Heenan complains about all the noise here. Some hard shoves send DiBiase into the corner before the champs are rocked with some big clotheslines. After a meeting with Jimmy, it’s IRS getting his arm hammered by Earthquake.

Typhoon comes in for a hiptoss and it’s his turn to get tossed into the corner. Completely one sided so far as Gorilla keeps mocking Heenan over Flair’s loss. Typhoon finally misses a splash in the corner and it’s off to DiBiase. We get an awkward looking sequence where DiBiase doesn’t seem ready to low bridge Typhoon to the floor. No worries though as they do it again a few seconds later (erg) and this time Typhoon goes over.

A double clothesline (somehow to the back of the head as Typhoon can’t even run the ropes properly) sets up a front facelock as this is dying before my eyes. Back up and Typhoon gets in a clothesline for his own for the ice cold tag to Earthquake. Everything breaks down and DiBiase is clotheslined to the floor. Earthquake loads up the Earthquake but IRS is pulled to the floor and it’s an intentional countout to retain the titles at 8:37.

Rating: F. WOW this was terrible and the fans clearly didn’t care. Can you blame them though? Not only was it boring but on top of that it was full of botches and had a house shoe level finish. Just horrible stuff here and in the running for worst Wrestlemania match ever. That’s some rather elite company and I have no idea why they thought this was a good idea.

Brutus Beefcake is here to support Hulk Hogan because Hulkamania will live forever.

Owen Hart vs. Skinner

Oh come on GET TO THE MAIN EVENT ALREADY! Skinner jumps him from behind to start and hits a quick shoulder breaker. The reverse DDT gets two on Owen but he skins the cat and grabs an O’Connor Roll to pin Skinner at 1:08. Absolute filler.

Sid cuts off Gene Okerlund, calling him a short, bald headed little oaf. He’s going to destroy Hulkamania once and for all. We go to a sitdown interview with Hogan where he says he’s just not sure if this is his final match or not. Vince, conducting the interview, shakes his hand and thanks him for everything. Sid promises to destroy every Hulkamaniac because he rules the world.

Sid Justice vs. Hulk Hogan

Sid has Harvey Whippleman in his corner. Hogan gets the big entrance and the fans are as into it as they’ve been in a good while but Sid jumps him from behind. In one of the most underrated Hogan sequences ever, he does a mini Hulk Up, punches Sid to the floor, and clotheslines him off the apron to send Sid outside. You can feel the power of Hulkamania and my goodness it works so freaking well all over again.

We settle down to Sid choking and hammering in the corner but Hulk is right back with more right hands. The fans are ALL OVER this and Sid bails to the floor for a minute. Back in and we hit the test of strength with Hogan going down. As the fans all reconsider their place in life, Hogan fights up but gets knocked into the corner. Hogan is in trouble again and gets sent to the floor for some shots to the back from Harvey’s medical bag.

Sid grabs a nerve hold and it looks like Hogan is taking a nap. Sid’s powerbomb sets up Hogan’s fish out of water selling and it’s time for the Hulk Up. Heenan: “THEY’RE BOTH NUTS!” The big boot and a slam (not exactly impressive on Sid) set up the legdrop….for two, as the scheduled run-in was mistimed (on purpose, as the company decided to make Hogan look bad in case it was his last match). Instead Harvey comes in for the DQ at 12:37.

Rating: D-. I know the wrestling is pretty terrible but my goodness some of those Hogan comebacks felt like the old days. The fans helped this one a lot and the opening was just too much to call this a failure. It felt like a house show match and that’s completely unacceptable for a Wrestlemania main event, but at least it had some great moments.

Post match Papa Shango (the scheduled run-in) comes out for the double beatdown but the Ultimate Warrior makes his return after about eight months away for the save. A lot of posing ends the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This is all over the place as it goes from very good to horrible all night long. The ending with Warrior returning is more than enough of a combination with the two great matches to make the show work though and really, some of the bad matches are short enough that they don’t mean much. It doesn’t mean much in the long term as this was a VERY weak time for the company, but better times were coming in the forms of Bret and Shawn. For one last hurrah for the old guard though, it worked as a fun show, albeit one that needed a very powerful fast forward button.

Ratings Comparison

Shawn Michaels vs. El Matador

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C

2018 Redo: B-

Jake Roberts vs. Undertaker

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C-

2018 Redo: D

Bret Hart vs. Roddy Piper

Original: A

2013 Redo: B+

2018 Redo: A-

Mountie/Nasty Boys/Repo Man vs. Jim Duggan/Virgil/Sgt. Slaughter/Big Boss Man

Original: F

2013 Redo: D

2018 Redo: D

Ric Flair vs. Randy Savage

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A

2018 Redo: A

Rick Martel vs. Tatanka

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2018 Redo: D

Natural Disasters vs. Money Inc.

Original: D-

2013 Redo: D-

2018 Redo: F

Skinner vs. Owen Hart

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2018 Redo: N/A

Hulk Hogan vs. Sid Justice

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2018 Redo: D-

Overall Rating

Original: B-

2013 Redo: B-

2018 Redo: B-

Nothing really out of the norm there and I’ve liked the show every time.

Here’s the original review:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/15/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-8-hogan-who-needs-the-bald-man/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/17/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-viii-show-me-the-pictures/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Royal Rumble 2012
Date: January 29, 2012
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 18,121
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

We wrap things up here with last year’s show. The Rumble is back to the thirty entrant variety which is probably the best move all around. The odds on favorite is Jericho who returned very recently before this show. Other than that we’ve got Daniel Bryan defending his newly won world title against Big Show and Henry in a cage, along with Punk defending against Ziggler. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is of course about going to Wrestlemania.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Mark Henry

Bryan is champion and beat Show at TLC by cashing in his MITB case in 45 seconds. Show beat Henry at the same show and ran over Bryan’s girlfriend AJ on Raw to set all this up. This is one fall to a finish and it’s pin/submission/escape. Bryan immediately goes for the corner but Henry pulls him down and Show runs Bryan over for two. Show crushes Henry against the cage wall but has to stop to pull Bryan back inside. Rey tries to run up again but Show catches him by the ankle and slams him back in.

Show loads up the WMD but hits the cage wall instead. The champion fires off some kicks but gets headbutted right back down. Bryan kicks the knee out even harder and fires off some kicks to Henry to keep the other monster down. He goes for the door but you know this isn’t ending that quickly. Henry makes the stop and demands that the referee CLOSE THAT DOOR. Show superkicks Henry down and it’s his turn to take over for awhile.

Bryan gets slammed down but Henry is back up again. A few punches put Show down because a dozen chair shots usually can’t, but a few punches can. Actually that’s a great way to keep Henry looking strong. The fans are cheering for Bryan as Henry and Show collide to put all three guys down. Show gets back up and clotheslines Bryan down a few times before superkicking him in the face. The chokeslam is countered and Bryan hits a tornado DDT on Show for two.

The LeBell (NO!) Lock is put on Show but Henry breaks it up in about a second. The WMD gets two on Henry but Bryan makes the save, which ticks Show off. Bryan SPRINTS up the cage but Show chases after him and grabs Bryan before he can get out. Bryan sits on the top of the cage and pounds away, only to be caught again. The champion is literally hanging from Show’s wrist before finally letting go and falling to the floor to retain the title.

Rating: D+. This really wasn’t all that great. At the end of the day, it was a lot of the same sequence over and over again with Show and Henry not having a ton of interaction at all. The ending didn’t look great either and I’m not sure why Show would just hold him out over the floor like that. This falls under the category of “…..really?” as it’s hard to buy Bryan keeping the belt here.

Long video on Cena and all the stuff he does for WWE. The man is insanely committed to that company.

Divas of Doom/Bella Twins vs. Eve Torres/Alicia Fox/Tamina/Kelly Kelly

The Divas of Doom are Beth and Natalya. Natalya and Tamina start things off and they collide a few times. Tamina slaps her in the face before chopping Nattie down for two. Off to Eve for that bouncing moonsault for two. Since that’s a pretty lame move, Natalya charges her into the corner and brings in Beth who blocks a rolling splash with knees to Eve’s back.

Off to let’s say Nikki for some basic stomps to the back and a quickly broken chinlock. Jerry is asked what he likes about the Bellas and he can’t even get an answer out. Not hot tag brings in Alicia who is immediately sent into the corner and chinlocked as well. Alicia finally counters by flipping Nikki forward and makes the actual hot tag to Kelly. There’s the screaming headscissors and a faceplant for two. Everything breaks down and almost everyone heads to the floor, where Kelly hits a HUGE dive to take everyone out. Back in and Beth SLAPS herself in to hit the Glam Slam on Kelly for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was your usual Divas match: they did their “sexy” spots, they had barely there outfits, Kelly screamed a lot, Beth beat up Kelly to end things. One interesting note from a year later: would they even be able to put together an eight Divas tag now? I’m thinking through the roster and I don’t know if I can name eight girls on the main shows right now.

We recap Ryder getting hurt at the hands of Kane. This was during the period where Ryder went from one of the hottest things in the company and US Champion to a rag doll that Kane destroyed over and over and over in the span of a few weeks until his push was completely destroyed. Eve blamed Cena for Ryder having his back broken for some reason.

Ryder is wheeled in and patronized by Johnny Ace (remember him?). Ace has a private room set up for Ryder but Eve comes up to yell at Ace first. Not much here but it’s setting up stuff later on tonight.

Kane vs. John Cena

This is when Kane had the welder’s mask look. Brawl to start with Kane beating Cena down into the corner as the fans are split on Johnny. A clothesline puts them both on the floor where Kane is sent knees first into the steps. Back in and Cena can’t hit the AA on Kane. That makes sense as after all, Kane is probably 175lbs lighter than Show who Cena throws around with near ease most of the time.

Kane kicks Cena down and gets two off an uppercut. A suplex gets the same and it’s off to a chinlock. Cena fights up and is sent into the buckle for his efforts followed by Kane’s stupid smother hold. John tries to counter into a Crossface but Kane comes out with a side slam. The idea here is that Cena can’t get anything going at all. The top rope clothesline takes Cena’s head off but Cena pops up and hits his shoulder block.

The Shuffle is countered by a grab of Cena’s throat and a big boot gets two. Cena blocks a superplex and hits the Shuffle off the top. That’s certainly a new one. The AA is countered by an elbow to the face and Kane kicks Cena out to the floor. Booker talks about how Cena is a good kid. I don’t think I ever recall Cena being called a kid since like 2004. Kane pounds on Cena in the aisle and that’s a double countout so we can do this match again next month.

Rating: D+. I know that’s a common theme tonight but it fits here again. These two didn’t work all that well together and the story was even worse. Then again, this was nothing more than giving Cena something to do for a few months until he could get ready for the biggest match of his career. This didn’t work for the most part.

The fight continues into the back where Kane finds a chair to lay to lay out Cena. To the shock of no one paying attention, Kane finds the door to Ryder’s private room and kicks the door in. Ryder is taken to the ring and tombstoned as Eve screams. Cena comes out to try to save Eve but gets chokeslammed by Kane who walks away. Ryder does a stretcher job, but somehow it would get even worse for him in the coming weeks.

BE A STAR!

Zack is wheeled out and Cena is booed for it. That’s the part of this story that never held up for me: why is this Cena’s responsibility? Ryder was the United States Champion. He should be able to defend himself.

We get a video on the Rock just like Cena got earlier. It’s shot in the back of Rock’s car and is more like a mini documentary. It focuses on how insane Rock’s life is and all of the stuff he does around the world.

Drew McIntyre vs. Brodus Clay

This is right after Brodus redebuted as the Funkasaurus so he was still a new character at this point. Brodus dances a lot, Drew punches him in the corner, Brodus headbutts him and hits the cross body (called WHAT THE FUNK) for the pin in about a minute.

Buy Slim Jims! For the troops!

We recap Cena vs. Ziggler who is challenging Punk on Ace’s behalf. This is during the “Ace is boring” phase where Punk made fun of him no matter what he did, so Ace helped Ziggler get a win over Punk to earn a title shot. Ace is also guest referee tonight just because. He’s openly admitted he’s going to screw Punk out of the title tonight, so HHH is going to evaluate his job status the next night on Raw, meaning Ace has to play nice.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler

Punk is defending and Ace is referee. Johnny Ace is John Laurinitis but that’s a hard name to spell. Before the match, Ace says he’ll be the outside referee. Ok then. Wait we’re still not ready to go as Ace throws Vickie out as well. We finally get going and Ziggler tries a quick Fameasser which is countered into a failed GTS attempt. Punk tells Dolph it was that close. They feel each other out a bit longer until Ziggler starts strutting.

Punk finally gets his hands on Ziggler and puts on an abdominal stretch, complete with a wrapped toe and slicking back his hair ala Ziggler. Dolph heads to the floor and gets taken out by a suicide dive but shoves Punk off the top rope once they get back inside. Ziggler drops about eight elbows in a row and a jumping version gets two. We hit the chinlock with Ziggler cranking on the head way more than necessary.

The champ starts firing off chops and strikes before getting caught in the sleeper. That goes nowhere but neither does Punk’s Anaconda Vice attempt. Back to the sleeper but Dolph can’t get it on all the way. Instead there’s a perfect dropkick for two on Punk but the Fameasser is countered into a helicopter bomb for two. A swinging neckbreaker by the champ puts Dolph into the corner where the knee/bulldog combination actually works.

The GTS is countered into a slingshot but Punk lands on the middle rope. He comes off with a spinning cross body but Ziggler rolls through for a near fall in a cool sequence. The high kick gets two for Punk as does the Macho Elbow, drawing a Randy Savage chant. The GTS is countered again and the referee goes down as per the requirement in a world title mach. Punk hooks the Vice but Ace is checking on the down referee. Then Punk gets a rollup and there’s STILL no referee.

Ace sends the referee back in as Punk loads up the GTS, but Ziggler’s legs knock Ace to the floor. Ace sees the pin but refuses to count because he thinks Punk did it on purpose. Ziggler counters another GTS attempt into the Fameasser for two before pounding away a bit. The champ comes back with a slingshot and the GTS gets a pin from both referees to retain the title.

Rating: B+. This took awhile to get going as we were all waiting on the Ace stuff. The feud would go on for weeks until Jericho finally showed up to give Punk someone with charisma to feud with. The near falls at the end were a lot better than Ace, but it occurs to me that this was pretty much the same match he had last year. Good stuff though.

Rumble by the Numbers:

30 Superstars
1 winner
31 Hall of Famers in the Rumble
21 main events those Hall of Famers have been in at Wrestlemania
695 entrants who have been eliminated
39 entrants eliminated by Michaels, a record (Kane is second at 35)
13 consecutive Rumbles for Kane
11 eliminations for Kane in 2001
194,107lbs that have been in the Rumble, or over 97 tons, or 430 Big Show
421,883 people who have attended the Rumble
62:12 Rey Mysterio spent in the Rumble in 2006, a record
3 wins for Austin
1 second that Santino lasted in 2009
2 women who have competed in the Rumble
1, the entrant that has produced the same amount of winners as #30 at two each
27, the entrant with more winners than any other at four
55 percent of winners that have won the title at Wrestlemania

Royal Rumble

The Miz is #1 and talks about how he’s going back to the main event of Wrestlemania this year. His former apprentice Alex Riley is #2 which isn’t really surprising given how RANDOM these draws are. I always liked Riley and he always got a good reaction, which is clearly why he doesn’t get on TV more. Riley pounds away to start and runs Miz over with a forearm but walks into a big boot. Maybe it’s the old school fan in me but I don’t like a 6’0 guy using a big boot. Miz talks trash and low bridges Riley out with ease.

R-Truth, Miz’s former partner, is #3. Truth fires off some kicks and avoids the Finale before hitting a kind of powerslam. Miz gets sent to the apron for the second time but Truth turns his back to watch Cody come out at #4. A quick Disaster Kick puts Truth down (Cole says it hits Miz because those two are so hard to tell apart) and Truth gets double teamed for awhile. He manages to send Cody to the apron but gets caught in the Reality Check as the clock seems to be speeding up.

Justin Gabriel is #5 and things speed WAY up. A big spinwheel kick puts Miz down before Cody goes nuts on Gabriel in the corner. Primo is #6 to keep things low key to start. Actually he speeds things up as well and hits a sweet headscissors out of the corner to take Gabriel down. Truth hits the spinning forearm on Cody, only to be dumped out by Miz a second later. Since he’s still crazy, Truth pulls Miz to the floor and lays him out on the outside.

Mick Foley is #7 to fire up the crowd a little bit. He dumps Primo almost immediately before getting beaten on by Cody. Foley looks really old and slow here but to be fair, he is in fact old and slow. In a HILARIOUS bit, Ricardo Rodriguez is #8 but comes out in an old banged up, rusted out rental car. He’s even got the Del Rio scarf to hide some of his hideous pale body. We get a HUGE Ricardo chant as Foley and Gabriel have no idea what to do here.

Ricardo takes Cody down and pounds away before proposing an alliance with Foley of all people. They actually do team up and toss Gabriel, allowing Ricardo to do a CM Punk knee slide. We keep the comedy going with Santino at #9 and Ricardo runs from the Cobra. Santino beats on Ricardo and literally rolls him around the ring before pulling his trunks up and tossing Rodriguez.

Now we get my favorite spot of the match as Santino puts on the Cobra and Mick puts on Socko and it’s TIME FOR A DUEL!!! Before they can collide though it’s Epico at #10 but he falls to the powers of the socks and is out almost immediately. The socks COLLIDE until Miz and Cody pop back in (neither was eliminated) and dump Santino. Miz gets Socko but Cody dumps Mick. Fun comedy bit here to give us a good first act to the match.

Kofi Kingston is #11 and hits a double springboard clothesline before hitting a double Boom Drop. In at #12 is Jerry Lawler (Cole: “WHAT ARE YOU DOING???”) and he causes Miz to hit Cody by mistake. Lawler speeds things up and hits the middle rope punch with the lowered strap, only to be put out by Cody. Ezekiel Jackson is #13 and gets to do the usual power moves on each guy while the others lay around.

Jinder Mahal is #14 and the fans start chanting USA, even though the only two Americans in this match are Rhodes and Miz. Great Khali comes in at #15 and Mahal panics. Everyone gets chops and Mahal is out in just a few seconds. Jackson tries to pound away and is put out almost immediately as well. Hunico is #16 on that stupid bicycle of his and hits a spinning cross body on Miz and his Angle Slam on Cody.

Khali chops Hunico down as the ring is staying relatively empty. Booker T is #17 to surprise Cole. You would think he would have noticed that the man sitting next to him for over two hours wasn’t wearing pants but he never was considered that bright. Now we get the spot of the match as Miz shoves Kofi to the floor but Kofi holds himself up by his hands. Miz shoves Kofi into a handstand but Kingston WALKS ON HIS HANDS ACROSS THE FLOOR TO THE STEPS to get back in. FREAKING AWESOME MAN!

Dolph Ziggler is #18 as the ring is starting to get full. Hacksaw Jim Duggan makes his annual return at #19 to pop the crowd huge. He cleans house for a bit and we get a DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER on Miz and Rhodes. Cody avoids a charge in the corner though and dumps Duggan in less than a minute. That’s the best idea at the end of the day. Miz and Cody team up to put out Booker and Khali at the same time.

We complete the trio with Michael Cole at #20. At the moment we’ve got Cole, Miz, Rhodes, Kingston, Hunico and Ziggler in the ring. Kharma returns at #21 in her only WWE match ever. She hits Cole so hard she knocks his headgear off so Cole eliminates himself. Well he gets to the apron where Cole and Booker eliminate him. Ziggler tells Kharma to get out so she DRILLS him. Kharma dumps Hunico but Ziggler sneaks up and eliminates her (Booker calls this doing the impossible. Not really Book.) to a ton of heat.

Sheamus is #22 to give us some A level star power. Well maybe B+ level. Things speed up with Sheamus destroying everyone and tossing Kofi out. There are the ten forearms in the ropes to Cody and ten to Miz as well. The Zig Zag is countered and Road Dogg is another surprise return at #23. He gets to clean house for a bit and earns a “you still got it” chant. In far less than 90 seconds, Jey Uso is #24.

Everyone pairs off until Jack Swagger is #25. After a few suplexes everything settles down into its usual brawling phase until Barrett is #26. He throws out Roadie and stomps away on a lot of people. David Otunga gets the lucky spot at #27 and poses a lot before he comes out. Not a lot happens so Orton comes in at #28 to pick things up a bit. Remember we’re in his hometown so everyone goes nuts.

Cody breaks up the RKO on Barrett so Randy hits the Elevated DDT on both Cody and Ziggler at the same time because he can. There’s an RKO to Barrett and he’s out. Chris Jericho, complete with a blackout of the arena, makes his return at #29. He’s still a face at this point and dumps Otunga to a good reaction. Big Show is #30 which was considered a letdown at the time. Dude, he was world champion a month ago. That’s hardly Darren Young coming out.

As Show comes in he pulls Swagger out from the floor, giving us a final grouping of Miz, Rhodes, Ziggler, Sheamus, Orton, Jericho and Big Show. That’s a pretty solid grouping. Show dumps Cody and Miz at the same time to get us down to five. Show tosses Ziggler as well to get us down to four. The big man cleans house but walks into an RKO, allowing Orton and Sheamus to pick him up and Randy clotheslines him out. Jericho dumps Orton immediately thereafter and we’re down to two.

The fans are entirely behind Jericho here so Sheamus runs him over a few times. Jericho’s bulldog is countered but Sheamus can’t throw him over the corner. Jericho charges into the Irish Curse but Sheamus can’t hit the High Cross. We get a great false finish with Jericho clotheslining Sheamus to the apron and then knocking him down to the point where Sheamus is hanging on by his leg. Sheamus comes back in with the slingshot shoulder but the Brogue Kick is countered into the Walls.

After the hold is broken Jericho gets knocked to the apron where he BARELY hangs on. They go to the top rope and both fall to the apron, meaning if they hit the floor they’re out. Both guys get back in and there’s the Codebreaker to Sheamus. Jericho gets Sheamus upside down but can’t get him out. A shot to the face ticks Sheamus off and he catches a Codebreaker attempt to put Jericho on the apron. The Brogue Kick sends Sheamus to Wrestlemania.

Rating: A-. This is one of those Rumbles that is great fun as you watch it live but it loses some steam on a second viewing. They spent a bit too much time on nostalgia and funny ideas here but they were still really good ideas. The ending with Sheamus and Jericho ROCKED and I have no idea why they never got to have a long PPV match. This is a really good Rumble but it never reaches that excellent level that some of them get to.

Sheamus celebrates a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. The Rumble is a unique show as it has a way to save itself from a bad first half. That’s what happened here as the last two matches were certainly good enough to save it from the horrible first few matches. As usual the last two guys would both get world title shots with the winner getting the opening match instead of the real main event, but going on before Rock vs. Cena is hardly torture.

Ratings Comparison

Daniel Bryan vs. Mark Henry vs. Big Show

Original: C-
Redo: D+

Bella Twins/Divas of Doom vs. Alicia Fox/Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres/Tamina

Original: D+
Redo: D+

Kane vs. John Cena

Original: D+
Redo: D+

Brodus Clay vs. Drew McIntyre

Original: N/A
Redo: N/A

CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler

Original: B
Redo: B+

Royal Rumble

Original: B+
Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: B-
Redo: B

Just like last year, not much difference here.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Royal Rumble 2008
Date: January 27, 2008
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City New York
Attendance: 20,798
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole Jonathan Coachman, Joey Styles, Tazz

This show is special for a few reasons, not the least of which is the fact that we are in the Garden. That alone is enough to get excited, but the other big story here is the Raw World Title match between Jeff Hardy and Randy Orton, which is so intriguing that it seems to have raised the buys of the show to its highest in a few years. I’m curious to see how well it holds up so let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at the Garden and the history of the Royal Rumble. You can’t ask for much more than that.

Ric Flair vs. MVP

MVP’s US Title isn’t on the line but Flair’s career is, which is hardly a fair trade. Before the match, Flair talks about his history in this building and thanks the fans for all of the respect they have given him since his first match here in March 1976. Then MVP’s music cuts him off because WWE knows how to disrespect legends.

Feeling out process to start with Flair working on the arm so MVP shoves him away. That just gets on Flair’s nerves so he hammers away in the corner, earning himself a kick to the face. The chinlock goes on as the fans let MVP know that he sucks. That’s broken up and Flair goes for the leg, only to get stomped down in the corner again.

A running boot in the corner gets three on Flair, but the foot is on the rope for the heart stopping moment. MVP suplexes him for two and superplexes him for the same. Flair gets in a double clothesline for a double knockdown and some rollups get two each. MVP is back with a shot to the throat but the Playmaker is reversed into the Figure Four for the tap.

Rating: C. I’m not wild on the US Champion losing but there is nothing wrong with giving Flair one more win in Madison Square Garden. The Flair retirement tour was a good thing to see as he earned a lot of the respect and farewells, so MVP losing isn’t the worst thing. I can’t imagine MVP minded putting Flair over in this situation either so it isn’t quite worth getting mad about.

Vince McMahon thinks Flair is rather lucky and explains the idea of the luck of the Irish to Hornswoggle, his illegitimate son at the moment. We hear a bit about the McMahon’s history here in the Garden until Finlay comes in to get Hornswoggle out of there before Vince can…..whatever Vince would do with a bearded leprechaun.

We meet the newest member of the Raw announce team: Mike Adamle. Oh boy here we go.

We recap Chris Jericho vs. John Bradshaw Layfield. Jericho returned with the SAVE US deal but JBL didn’t like the idea and cost him the WWE Title. Now it’s time to come out of retirement for the fight, with JBL even bringing Jericho’s children into the trash talk to make it personal.

Chris Jericho vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

If nothing else, it’s weird to see Jericho with the short hair and long tights. Jericho backs him into the ropes to start but JBL gets in a cheap shot as the referee pulls him away. That earns him a running forearm as Jericho is all ticked off here. The Clothesline From JBL misses so Jericho grabs the Walls, sending JBL straight to the rope. They head outside with JBL getting the better of things, meaning it’s time to catapult Jericho throat first into the bottom rope.

The choking ensues, followed by the sleeper to go old school. That’s broken up and Jericho hits his own running clothesline to put them both down. There’s a big boot to drop Jericho again and JBL sends him shoulder first into the post. Jericho comes up bleeding so JBL stomps away at the head in the corner. That earns him some running forearms to the head and the Lionsault connects. A Cactus Clothesline puts them both on the floor, where Jericho BLASTS him with a chair to the head for the DQ.

Rating: B-. This was as intense and emotional as I’ve seen from Jericho in a long time and it was actually a good brawl. JBL is much better suited for something like this and the ending sets up a rematch at No Way Out. Jericho needed this kind of performance to reestablish himself and the blood looked good too.

Post match Jericho beats JBL up even more and chokes him with a camera cord in a similar version of what JBL did to him a few weeks ago.

Ashley Massaro tries to talk to Maria but gets Maria’s boyfriend Santino Marella again. NO, Maria is NOT posing for Playboy!

We recap Edge vs. Rey Mysterio. Edge has hooked up with Vickie Guerrero and has the Edgeheads behind him, making him all the more invincible. Rey Mysterio won a Beat The Clock Challenge to earn the show.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Rey Mysterio

Edge, is defending and has the wheelchair bound Vickie Guerrero and the Edgeheads with him. Edge goes after the arm to start so Rey forearms him in the face for the break (the simple exits often work best). Rey dropkicks him down for an early two and Edge is looking frustrated. A toss to the floor sets up a baseball slide to Rey, meaning the Edgeheads can get in their cheap shots.

Back in and Edge kicks the leg out to knock Rey off the middle rope. That’s enough to give Edge a target and we hit the half crab. Rey limps up for an enziguri before limping into a powerslam to give Edge two. Another leg crank goes on before Edge tries to expose the knee, allowing Rey to come back with the wheelbarrow bulldog.

The good leg kicks Edge in the face for two more and a seated senton gets two more. A top rope double stomp gets another two so Edge kicks him in the face. The spear misses though and it’s a 619 into the frog splash, but Vickie gets up and pulls the referee. Rey tries another 619 but hits Vickie by mistake. That’s enough to distract Rey so the spear can retain the title.

Rating: C+. There wasn’t much drama here but that’s where the Royal Rumble title shot stereotype comes from. Rey did what he does best here by fighting from underneath and giving you some hope spots but Vickie interfering was the big surprise. She’s a great heat machine and Edge surviving as champion as a result is about as good of a way as you could go here.

Mr. Kennedy comes up to a towel clad Ric Flair in the back. Kennedy suggests a match with Flair but here’s Shawn Michaels to glare him off. Shawn: “Imagine a loud mouthed bleach blonde guy with a catchphrase. That’ll never work. These kids today.” Flair knows Shawn will win so here are Batista and HHH, the latter of whom tells Flair to put his pants on (HHH: “I know I’ve said this a million times before.”). Anyway Shawn says the best man will win tonight, and he’ll be wearing the brand new HBK t-shirt, available now at Shop WWE!

Here’s Maria for the Kiss Cam, because that happens at the Royal Rumble. Cue Ashley to say Playboy wants Maria. Cue Santino Marella with someone wearing a sheet over their head. Santino says it’s not happening and makes fun of the New York sports teams. With the LET’S GO GIANTS chant out of the way, Maria asks the fans if they want her to pose. Santino say no again, and brings the sheeted person in. Naturally it’s Big Dick Johnson, in a New England Patriots jersey. Ashley beats him up anyway.

Mike Adamle throws us to a video on Randy Orton vs. Jeff Harvey.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy for the Raw World Title. Orton was born to be a star and has every natural gift there is. He breathes wrestling and was destined to be the best. Then there is Jeff Hardy, who is more of a free spirit and rose to this level because he lives for the moment. There are some great old clips of both of them plus the rest of the Orton family. Hardy beat him in a tag match and keeps diving off of one thing after another, which has made fans believe he has a chance. I was right there with them because this was an excellent build.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy

Hardy, the Intercontinental Champion (not on the line) is challenging and yes, he could win. A headlock takeover puts Orton down for a quick two and Hardy pulls back hard on the head. That’s reversed into a headscissors but Jeff escapes and hits a basement dropkick for two more. A clothesline puts Orton on the floor and a slingshot dropkick sends him hard into the barricade.

Hardy hits a dive so Orton chills for a bit, only to have Hardy head outside to win a slugout. Back in and Hardy’s springboard attempt is cut off with a dropkick to send him crashing back to the floor. Orton suplexes him on the floor as you can feel the pace slow in a hurry. The stomping and choking ensue back inside but Hardy knocks him outside again. There’s the clothesline from the apron but Hardy misses a charge into the post. The chinlock with the bodyscissors goes on for a good while until Hardy fights up again.

Some running shot to the face set up the Whisper in the Wind for two on Orton and the slingshot dropkick connects in the corner. Orton rolls to the apron before the Swanton can launch and a missile dropkick puts him on the floor again. Hardy isn’t waiting around and moonsaults down onto him for another double knockdown. Back in and Hardy tries the Twist of Fate but Orton reverses into the RKO for the fast pin to retain.

Rating: B. The more I see this match, the more I like it. Hardy was rolling with the high flying and risk taking but the ending made sense: Hardy tried to go with the wrestling and got caught because that’s Orton’s wheelhouse. This gave you the impression that Hardy could win and that was all they needed to do here. Nice job and you could tell that Hardy was more than just a challenger of the month at this point.

Jeff gets a kind of lukewarm standing ovation, but the Garden isn’t the best indication of the masses.

Rumble By The Numbers time!

Rumble By The Numbers:

21 Winners

569 Wrestlers Eliminated

36 Eliminations for Steve Austin, the most ever

11 Royal Rumbles for Shawn Michaels, the most ever

11 Eliminations for Kane, the most in one match

10 Consecutive Royal Rumbles for Kane

3 Times Mick Foley entered in 1998

2 Feet that need to hit the ground for an elimination

1 Woman to have entered, with Chyna

62:12 for Rey Mysterio in 2006, the most ever

:02 For Warlord in 1990, the least ever

3 Wins for Steve Austin, the most ever

#1 Spot, which has produced more winners than #30

1 Winner from #30, the Undertaker in 2007

4 Winners from #27, the most of all time

73% Success rate for winners at Wrestlemania

1 Road to Wrestlemania

Dang I love that thing.

Royal Rumble

Ninety second intervals this year and Michael Buffer is the special ring announcer in one of (if not the) his only appearances for the company. Undertaker is in at #1 and Shawn Michaels is in at #2 because they’re starting big this year (and with the final two from last year’s Rumble). Granted Buffer doesn’t actually say “Shawn Michaels”, instead introducing him as the Heartbreak Kid. Shawn chops away to start but gets sent flying upside down into the corner. A shot to the face puts Undertaker on the apron but he shoves Michaels away.

Santino Marella is in at #3 and lasts as long as you would expect for the first elimination. Shawn chops away even more and hits an atomic drop as Great Khali is in at #4. Undertaker goes straight for him but gets chopped down as the fans give Khali a YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chant. They fight over a chokeslam and Undertaker shoves him out to get us back to two. Hardcore Holly is in at #5 to stomp away at Undertaker in the corner. For some reason Undertaker can’t eliminate Holly and it’s John Morrison in at #6.

Undertaker and Shawn form the Texas Mega Powers but Morrison counters Sweet Chin Music to kick Shawn in the head. Tommy Dreamer is in at #7 and the fans are VERY happy to see him. Dreamer goes after Undertaker but Shawn takes his place to stomp the big man down. Batista is in at #8 to pick things up again, plus toss Dreamer for daring to break up a showdown with the Undertaker.

It’s Hornswoggle in at #9 and he goes straight underneath the ring in a smart move. Everyone brawls around the ring and it’s Chuck Palumbo, as a biker, in at #10. That gives us Undertaker, Shawn, Holly, Morrison, Batista, Hornswoggle and Palumbo for a rather eclectic group. Jamie Noble, currently feuding with Palumbo, is in at #11 and gets knocked out in less than thirty seconds.

Noble’s banged up ribs need some help getting to the back and it’s CM Punk in at #12. The pace picks up until Undertaker clotheslines Punk’s head off. Palumbo and Morrison go after Punk until he tosses Palumbo to clear things out a bit. Cody Rhodes is in at #13 and saves Holly (his partner) and Batista backdrops Shawn. Umaga is in at #14 and tosses Holly in a hurry. Snitsky is in at #15 as they’re flying through these entrants.

Everyone fights by the ropes and it’s the Miz in at #16, meaning we have Miz and Morrison working together. Undertaker and Umaga kick each other on the mat as Shelton Benjamin is in at #17 to snap Miz and Morrison’s throats on top. That earns him Sweet Chin Music for the elimination and it’s Jimmy Snuka in at #18 for the nostalgia pop. Undertaker hurts himself trying the headbutt and it’s Roddy Piper in at #19 for the REAL nostalgia pop. Snuka looks stunned as everyone stops to watch the old guys fight.

Kane is in at #20, giving us Undertaker, Michaels, Morrison, Batista, Hornswoggle (still under the ring), Punk, Rhodes, Umaga, Snitsky, Miz, Snuka, Piper and Kane, which has to be one of the best collections of talent ever in a ring. Kane wastes no time in eliminating Piper and Snuka (they were just there for the one pop anyway so that was all they should have done), much to the fans’ annoyance. Umaga saves Shawn from Undertaker’s chokeslam for some reason and Carlito is in at #21. A Backstabber drops Punk but Cody bulldogs Carlito down.

Mick Foley is in at #22 (big pop) and Undertaker hits a Last Ride on Batista, which isn’t even acknowledged. Mr. Kennedy is in at #23 to a big reaction and some house cleaning. A bit too much trash talk earns him a chokeslam from Undertaker and it’s Big Daddy V in at #24. Undertaker eliminates Snitsky but gets superkicked out by Shawn. Kennedy dumps Shawn and the ring is cleared out in a hurry. Undertaker drives Snitsky through the announcers’ table (or mostly through it) to blow off some steam as Cody and Kennedy tease eliminating each other.

Mark Henry is in at #25 as Hornswoggle comes out to eliminates Miz (still without getting inside). ECW Champion Chavo Guerrero is in at #26 as Kane kicks Morrison out. It’s nice to see the one in one out (or close to it) as it keeps things from getting too clogged up. Henry pulls Hornswoggle in so here’s Finlay, presumably in at #27, for the save. Finlay and Hornswoggle leave without being sent over the top but Finlay is officially disqualified for using the Shillelagh.

Elijah Burke is in at #28 as Batista falls out to the floor without being eliminated. Chavo gets rid of Punk and it’s HHH in at #29. Cody is gone, Big Daddy V is gone and Foley and Burke all go out together as HHH’s hands. HHH punches at everyone he can find, including a Pedigree to Umaga.

The clock is on and……JOHN CENA is in at #30 to blow the roof off the place because he was out with a torn pectoral muscle was wasn’t even certain for Wrestlemania. The Garden is stunned for about ten seconds before realizing that they’re supposed to hate Cena (this really is one of the best surprises the Rumble has ever seen and I smile at it every time). That gives us a final group of Batista, Umaga, Kane, Carlito, Kennedy, Henry, Guerrero, HHH and Cena, which is not too shabby.

Cena goes after Henry and the fans are actually buzzing for a change. Carlito and Henry get tossed by Cena, who goes nose to (large) nose with HHH. The slugout goes to Cena until HHH catches him with a spinebuster. Batista is back in to get rid of Kennedy and Umaga. Kane is tossed out by Batista and HHH, leaving us with Batista, HHH and Cena. HHH tells both of them to suck it and the fight is on. Cena backdrops his way out of a Batista Bomb attempt and Batista is clotheslined out, leaving us with two.

The BOO/YAY slugout it on with Cena getting the better of it and initiating the finishing sequence. The AA is escaped and there’s a double clothesline to put both of them down. Back up and HHH escapes another AA before grabbing a DDT for two. The Pedigree is countered so Cena tries the AA again. That’s broken up as well so Cena grabs it one more time and finally tosses HHH to win.

Rating: B+. I like this one more every time I see it with the Cena return being one of the best things the Rumble has ever done. The rest of the match was very well booked with the big star, the great nostalgia for Piper/Snuka/Foley and enough top names throughout to keep anything from getting dull. They had the right balance here and I had a really good time with the whole thing.

Cena celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. I’ve seen this one a few times now and I don’t remember liking it this much. Maybe it’s how bad the modern stuff would get but this was a show where they did their thing each time, had everything working as it should have and then finished it up with a really good Rumble. It set up an underrated Wrestlemania too and after this, I can’t say I’m surprised. Very good show here and worth a look if you haven’t seen it in a bit.

Ratings Comparison

Ric Flair vs. MVP

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C

2018 Redo: C

2021 Redo: C

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Jericho

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2018 Redo: D+

2021 Redo: B-

Edge vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: A-

2013 Redo: C+

2018 Redo: B

2021 Redo: C+

Jeff Hardy vs. Randy Orton

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C+

2018 Redo: B-

2021 Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C+

2018 Redo: C+

2021 Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C-

2018 Redo: C

2021 Redo: B+

Well dang man. Was I in a really good mood today or something? And this is the first time I’ve ever liked JBL vs. Jericho? Really?

Here is the original if you are interested:

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2021/01/18/royal-rumble-count-up-2008-original-the-big-surprise/

And the 2013 Redo:

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2021/01/18/royal-rumble-count-up-2008-2013-redo-it-keeps-getting-better/

And the 2019 Redo:

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2021/01/18/royal-rumble-count-up-2008-2019-redo-thats-a-trio/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Smackdown
Date: August 10, 2007
Location: Chevrolet Center, Youngstown, Ohio
Attendance: 3,700
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re closing in on Summerslam and the main event is set, with Batista challenging Great Khali for the World Title. That may be a problem for Batista, as Khali debuted a Claw hold, which could cause quite the damage. The rest of the card could use some attention though so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Batista vs. Domino

They’re starting fast this week and Deuce and Cherry are here with Domino. Batista knees him in the ribs as the smoke from Batista’s pyro is still filling the arena. A suplex gives Batista two but it’s too early for the Batista Bomb. Back up Cherry’s distraction does absolutely nothing as Batista takes Deuce N Domino out with ease. The spear into the Batista Bomb is good for the easy pin. On Domino.

Rating: C-. Total squash and that’s what it should have been. It would have been nice to not see a champion lose this way, but it isn’t like there are any other tag teams worth beating up around here. Batista didn’t break a sweat here and that made for an entertaining enough destruction.

Post match Deuce tries to jump Batista and gets wrecked as well. Great Khali pops up on screen to yell at Batista, who won’t be celebrating at Summerslam. We see a clip of Khali Clawing Ric Flair last week to knock him out.

Here is the returning Rey Mysterio, whose knee surgery must have been a success as he is about four inches taller now. Whoever it is seems to be a big Chavo Guerrero fan because he doesn’t know if Rey can beat Chavo at Summerslam. Or if he can even face Chavo, because Chavo is that amazing. He gets on his knees to beg Chavo to avoid that kind of a beating again but here is Eugene to interrupt.

Eugene vs. “Rey Mysterio”

The fans think Chavo sucks and it’s a headscissors to take Eugene down to start. The 619 misses and believe it or not, it’s Chavo under the mask. Eugene is so offended by the deception that he starts hammering away and hits a Gory Bomb, followed by Three Amigos. The frog splash takes too long though and Chavo moves, allowing him to hit his own for the pin.

Rating: D+. They didn’t bother trying to take this one too far as there is only so much you can get out of this kind of a match. It was also a match where the copying moves made sense, but Eugene is so far beyond meaning anything that it is hard to believe that he was kind of a big thing at one point. Chavo is on his way to the big showdown with Rey and that should work out well for both of them.

Kenny Dykstra kisses Victoria as she is getting her makeup done when Michelle McCool comes in to tell them to get a room. Violence is teased.

Raw Rebound.

Mark Henry vs. Sterling Keenan

Keenan is better known as Corey Graves. Bearhug finishes for Henry in about a minute.

Post match Henry says no one will mess with him because of this, sending us to a video of him attacking Undertaker. As the beating is on, we cut to an Undertaker vignette, with the word “Unforgiven” being heard. Back in the arena, a man in black walks away from the ring and his footprints are rather prominent.

Torrie Wilson vs. Victoria

Jimmy Wang Yang and Kenny Dykstra are here. Victoria jumps her to start and takes it to the floor. That means Yang has to dropkick Dykstra down as Torrie is scared. Back in and the Widow’s Peak finishes Torrie in a hurry.

Post match the beating stays on but Michelle McCool runs in for the save.

We recap Matt Hardy beating MVP in arm wrestling and regular wrestling last week.

Commentary tells us that thanks to the Wellness Policy, MVP found out that he had a heart condition and has had surgery, but will be back in a week.

MVP complains about how his heart was messed up last week but Matt Hardy cheated to beat him anyway. It would usually take someone a year to return but he’ll do it in a week because he is half man and half amazing.

Matt Hardy vs. Finlay

Finlay points a finger in his face to start and they take their time to start. A headlock and shoulder have Matt in early trouble so he grabs a headlock of his own. Commentary talks about Mr. McMahon’s illegitimate child (ok fair enough) as Matt hits Finlay in the face for two. Hold on though as Finlay complains of an eye poke, which naturally is a way to sucker Matt in for some uppercuts.

Back up and Finlay charges into a boot in the corner but manages to send Matt hard to the floor. They fight over a ram into the apron so Matt gets posted as we take a break. We come back with Finlay staying on the arm that went into the post, including kicking away at the shoulder. The cranking begins on the arm but the referee is smart enough to see the feet in the ropes. Good of him for doing his job for once.

Back up and Matt hits an elbow to the face, only to get taken down into another armbar. The arm is slammed onto the apron before Finlay goes with the armbar again. Back up and Finlay forearms away in the corner but Matt slugs him down. The middle rope elbow to the back connects and the Side Effect gets two. Finlay fights back but here is Hornswoggle at ringside. Finlay brings him inside but Jamie Noble comes out to chase Hornswoggle off. Finlay goes to rescue Hornswoggle….and it’s a countout.

Rating: C+. This felt like they had set up a joke for seventeen minutes and then forgot the punchline. They set up everything with Hardy’s arm being banged up and then just let it end in the middle of his comeback? Instead of managing to beat Finlay with one arm, it was like they were saying “close enough, we’re done”. This had me really confused and disappointed, even though the rest of it was rather good.

In the back, Jamie Noble asks Kid Kash and Funaki where Hornswoggle is. Finlay comes in and grabs Noble, telling him to stay away from Hornswoggle. Noble says this is three on one….but Kane pops up behind them and beats up Finlay.

Kane vs. Sylvan

Sylvan rants in French until the fire cuts him off. Kane sends him flying into the corner and hammers away without much trouble. The chinlock goes on for a bit but Sylvan cuts off a charge in the corner. Kane hits a big boot though and the top rope clothesline sets up the chokeslam for the easy win.

Post match Finlay runs in and beats Kane down with the shillelagh.

Teddy Long and Vickie Guerrero talk about Teddy’s wedding and gives him some Viagra as a wedding present.

Here is Chris Masters for the Masterlock Challenge to anyone in the crowd. A rather large fan is goaded into it, but says he has played football, wrestled…..and just got out of prison for manslaughter. With that, Masters picks another fan, who he easily beats. I’m still not sure why this is supposed to be interesting, especially after someone already broke the hold.

Batista tells Ric Flair to be careful against Great Khali, but Flair is mad over being rag dolled last week. He’s felt the Claw from other people before and now it is time for a Figure Four on Khali.

Ric Flair vs. Great Khali

Non-title. Flair chops away to start and is tossed to the ground for his efforts. The nerve hold goes on for a good while, followed by the big chop and a big boot. Flair manages a low blow and chops away, with Khali going down to a knee. Then Khali grabs the Claw to finish Flair without much trouble.

Rating: D. This was as good as Khali nerve holding Flair for about a minute and a half was going to be. The Claw is a fine way for someone with Khali’s hands to go, but you need something other than that. The problem is he can’t do much more and this was a bad example of how limited he really is.

Post match the Claw stays on so Batista runs in for the save. Khali Claws Batista down to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. I don’t remember the last time Smackdown came up with such a bad show as this was rather awful. There was nothing on here that you would need to see and the best match, between Hardy and Finlay, has one of the more disappointing endings I have heard of in a long time. This didn’t make me want to see Summerslam and it was one of the weakest shows WWE has put on in a long time.

 

 

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Royal Rumble 2002
Date: January 20, 2002
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 12,915
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is the first step to things falling downhill, as we’re a few months away from the Brand Split and things falling through the floor in quality. The main event tonight aside from the Rumble is Jericho defending his newly won Undisputed Title (which he won by beating the Rock and Steve Austin IN THE SAME NIGHT in case you didn’t know that) against Rock. HHH is back in the ring tonight also (he may have fought on Smackdown before this but I don’t think he did) so let’s get to it.

The opening video has clips of various Rumble wins in a photo album kind of theme. The theme for this year’s show is 30 Men, 1 Winner. I’ve heard worse ideas which we’ll get too very soon.

Tag Titles: Spike Dudley/Tazz vs. Dudley Boys

Spike and Tazz are defending here in a reign that I don’t think anyone ever remembers. The Dudleys beat up Spike recently so he’s in a neck brace. The Dudleys attack to start and hit the belly to back neckbreaker on Tazz on the floor. It’s Bubba vs. Spike to start things off in a handicap match for all intents and purposes. Bubba rips the neck brace off and drops a big elbow.

Bubba shouts at Spike to get up as we get a very nice shot of Stacy. Tazz is back on the apron as D-Von hits a Hennig necksnap of all things. Bubba loads up a second brainbuster on Spike but gets countered into a Dudley Dog for no cover. The tag to Tazz is missed so Spike has to take a double flapjack instead. Spike avoids a headbutt from D-Von and makes the Dudleys clothesline each other. Hot tag brings in Tazz to clean house with suplexes. A big boot to Bubba’s head sets up a top rope cross body by Spike for two. Stacy interferes and gets put in the Tazmission. D-Von gets caught in the same hold and the champions retain.

Rating: D+. I have no idea what the point of this being on PPV was as it barely broke five minutes. Nothing with Stacy with the Dudleys can be bad, but this came about as close as you can get. Actually scratch that as it wasn’t so much bad but just short. I have no idea why this wasn’t on Raw or something like that. Tazz would be retired very soon after this due to a horrible neck.

We immediately go to a recap of Regal vs. Edge which is based on Regal using brass knuckles over and over again. Edge got fed up with it and beat up a lot of people with a chair.

Edge has a chair with him tonight to counter the knuckles. Apparently he broke Regal’s nose recently.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. William Regal

Edge is defending. The referee checks Regal over and over again for knuckles and finds them in his trunks. Well you can’t say he didn’t do his job. The referee stupidly puts them on the ring post instead of like, giving them to someone to take to the back or something. Edge pounds away to start and chokes with his boot in the corner. He goes after Regal’s bad nose as Lawler claims conspiracy.

Regal comes back with a clothesline but Edge kicks him in the back to put both guys down. Being the British dude that he is, Regal suplexes Edge down for two. Make that four. Uh six. Yet somehow that isn’t three. Off to an arm trap chinlock followed by a hard forearm to put the champion down again. A double arm powerbomb hits Edge for two and they head to the apron. Edge busts out a DDT onto said apron, further injuring Regal’s nose.

Back in and they ram heads to put both guys down as the match continues to drag at a slow pace. Edge wins a slugout and takes Regal down with a spinwheel kick and a suplex for two. Regal suplexes him down as well, only for Edge to hit a big old clothesline for two more. The Regal Stretch goes on out of nowhere but Edge reverses into a terrible version of his own to no avail. A top rope spinwheel kick puts Regal down but he finds another set of brass knuckles. Instead of swinging them though, he pulls the referee in the way of Edge’s spear. Regal clocks Edge and wins the title.

Rating: D+. This didn’t click at all. Regal didn’t seem interested in selling at all and Edge wasn’t ready to carry a match by himself yet. He was getting to the point where he could but it would take a summer of feuding with Eddie to get him up to that point. Regal wouldn’t really do anything with the belt other than lose it to RVD. Nothing to see here.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Jazz

Jacqueline is referee for absolutely no apparent reason and Trish is defending. Jazz is basically being a bully and has injured Trish’s hand coming into this. Jazz jumps Trish to start but misses a splash, giving Trish two off a rollup. A modified hot shot slows the champ down again and a legdrop gets two. Jazz works on the bad hand for a bit but Jackie pulls them out of the ropes. Jackie of course makes it all about herself and won’t count a cover on Trish. Stratusfaction hits out of nowhere for two and Jazz is up a few seconds later, basically no selling it. Trish hits a bad looking running bulldog to retain.

Rating: D. It was short, it was sloppy, the ending was stupid and Jackie was in it. What other kind of grade do you expect here? Stratus was starting to get better but it would take another year and Lita before she got amazing. Jazz was a pretty stupid pick to bring over to WWE as no one remembered her and she didn’t have the looks to back up any lack of hype. Bad match here.

Flair says he’ll win.

We recap Vince vs. Flair. Flair debuted after Survivor Series as the new co-owner of the company and has driven Vince crazy since. This led up to a street fight tonight between the two of them tonight which isn’t as big a deal as they were shooting for I don’t think. The highlight of it was Vince dressing up as Flair and saying destroying lives turned him on.

Ric Flair vs. Vince McMahon

Remember this is a street fight. Vince shoves him down to start and struts, so Flair punches him down and struts as well. Flair wins a chop battle in the corner (duh) so Vince goes to the eyes to escape. There’s the Flair Flop followed by a Flair Flip in the corner as Vince is in full control. We head to the floor and get our first weapon shot, with Vince pounding on Ric with a metal Keep Off sign.

There’s a trashcan shot to the head and Flair is busted open. How thin must the skin on his forehead be? Anyway, Vince steals a camera from someone to take a picture of Flair’s cut before we head back inside. Since he’s a jerk, Vince starts working over the knee in (less skilled) Flair fashion. The leg is wrapped around the post and Vince puts on a Figure Four that Dusty Rhodes would be jealous of.

Flair turns the hold over and Vince IMMEDIATELY lets go of the hold. So not only is he better at it than some wrestlers, he’s also smart. Never let it be said that Vince doesn’t know what he’s doing. Vince bails to the floor and grabs a lead pipe that he used to bust Flair open in the build up to the match. Flair catches him coming in with a low blow and pounds away on the floor.

Vince takes a monitor shot to the head and in a weird spot, we see a replay on the monitor on the table as the live match goes on. Vince is busted open now and we head back inside. Scratch that as we go back outside immediately where Flair’s family takes pictures of Vince’s cut. Set it up earlier, pay it off later. Good move. Back in and Flair kicks him low again just because he can, cracks him in the head with the pipe and ends it with the Figure Four.

Rating: C+. At the end of the day, this match makes as much sense as almost anything you’ll see. Vince controlled at the beginning, but at the end of the day he’s a boss and Flair is a veteran wrestler and athlete. It makes sense for him to be able to shrug that off and destroy Vince with relative ease once he got the upper hand. On top of that we got some good blood and Vince getting hit in the balls so how can this not be entertaining?

Stephanie talks trash about everyone else in the Rumble and runs down Debra as well. Austin walks up and WHAT’s her away. Cole gets a bit of it too. This is when the bit was brand new and still kind of funny, as opposed to now when it ruins almost every serious promo.

No highlight package for the world title match? For those of you not around in 2002 (LUCKY!), Jericho won the title in December, beating Rock along the way. It makes sense for Rock to get the first shot, especially since they feuded over the end of the year.

WWF World Title: The Rock vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho still has both titles because HHH wasn’t there to win the first Undisputed Title and get the new belt. Rock decks him immediately and the champ heads to the floor, only to run back in and get punched some more. Jericho misses a charge and hits the post but pulls off a hot shot out of nowhere to give himself a breather. They trade strikes in the corner before Jericho hits a spinwheel kick to Rocky’s arms for two.

A suplex gets two for Jericho and for some reason Rock’s left thumb is sticking out. The champ unhooks a buckle but can’t get the Walls. A missile dropkick gets two on Rock and it’s off to the chinlock. That goes on for a good while so Chris goes up again, only to get crotched and superplexed. A belly to belly suplex gets two for Rock but Jericho clotheslines him down and hits the Lionsault. Due to high reasons of arrogance, Jericho waits forever to cover and fights with the referee after getting two.

Another dropkick attempt by Jericho is caught in a Sharpshooter, but here’s Lance Storm for a distraction while Jericho taps. Christian comes in as well and is promptly punched out by Rock. Jericho hits a Rock Bottom on Rock for two and the frustration begins. The champ loads up a People’s Elbow but Rock nips up and sends Jericho out to the floor.

Both guys are rammed into both announce tables before Jericho’s Rock Bottom attempt is countered into an AWESOME looking Rock Bottom by Rock from one table through the other. That only gets two back inside before Jericho counters another Rock Bottom into the Liontamer (yes I said Liontamer instead of the Walls). Ok now it’s the Walls, which allows Rock to make the rope.

The jumping clothesline takes the referee down by mistake, allowing Jericho to blast Rock with the belt. Another referee slides in and gets two off that and Rock DDTs Jericho down. Rock covers….and Nick Patrick won’t count. There’s a Rock Bottom for his efforts and a People’s Elbow for Jericho but there’s no referee. Rock checks on Hebner, allowing Jericho to hit him low, send him into the Chekov’s Gun in the shape of an exposed turnbuckle. All that plus a rollup with his feet on the ropes is enough for Jericho to retain the title.

Rating: B. This took awhile to get going but once things picked up it turned into what you would expect from Rock vs. Jericho in a nearly 20 minute match. The overbooking worked here as Jericho needed something to boost him up to Rock’s level, which is what you’re supposed to do as a heel. Good stuff here and a very fine title match.

Shawn Michaels, in a really stupid looking Texas flag shirt, is at WWF New York. He picks Taker or Austin to win the Rumble.

Video on the Rumble. The main picks to win are Taker, HHH, Angle and Austin.

Royal Rumble

Rikishi and Goldust are #1 and #2 respectively and we’ve got two minute intervals. Goldie walks around Rikishi to start and gets punched in the face for his efforts. Rikishi knocks him around for a bit but can’t quite drop the big load on Goldie’s chest. A backdrop puts Goldust on the apron and Boss Man is #3, making it 2-1 against Rikishi. Goldust gets punched in the face but Boss Man pounds Rikishi into the corner. The heels explode after a long one minute partnership.

Bradshaw is #4 and hopefully he can pick things up a bit. He beats up everyone as Rikishi loads up the Stinkface on Boss Man. A superkick and a clothesline put Boss Man out and there’s a Samoan Drop to Bradshaw. Goldie pounds away on Bradshaw in the corner and gets powerbombed for his efforts. Lance Storm is #5 and absolutely nothing of note happens until Al Snow (on Tough Enough at this point) is #6. Bradshaw kills Storm with the Clothesline as the fans want Head.

Billy of Billy and Chuck is #7 and we’re still waiting on something to happen. The fans are still into this at least so it’s not a failure at this point. Storm and Snow fight to the apron with Snow superkicking Lance to an elimination. Billy dumps Bradshaw and Undertaker is finally #8 to pick things up a bit. A chokeslam kills Billy (the third in the series, not starring Uma Thurman) and another one puts out Goldust. Snow and Rikishi are dumped out and Billy follows them, leaving Undertaker alone to a big reaction. He’s evil here in case you’re not up on Taker history.

Matt Hardy is #9, which is interesting as Taker injured both Hardys and Lita. The redhead gets in along with Matt and helps him take the big man down via a low blow. Matt hits a Twist of Fate and stomps away but can’t get Taker out. Naturally Jeff Hardy is #10 because that’s how the TOTALLY RANDOM draw works in the Rumble.

Taker slugs down one of the best tag teams ever in just a few seconds, only to get caught in the Twist/Swanton combo. Again, why would you use moves that keep a giant on the mat? Not that it matters as Poetry in Motion is caught and Jeff is easily thrown out. The Last Ride kills Matt and he’s gone too, leaving Taker alone again. The clock during that segment was REALLY long too as they were roughly three minutes each to get the whole segment in.

Maven from Tough Enough is #11 but Lita is on the apron. Taker PUNCHES her down, drawing the Hardys back in. Taker dumps both of them again, but Maven dropkicks Undertaker in the back and eliminates him in arguably the biggest surprise elimination ever in the Rumble. The look on the Dead Man’s face is hilarious as he has absolutely no emotion at all. He calmly turns around, gets back in the ring, and mauls Maven, sending him through the ropes to the floor. A HUGE chair shot cracks Maven’s head and the beating continues until Scotty 2 Hotty is #12.

Taker punches Scotty down and throws Maven back in to eliminate him, which under old Rumble rules would count. The beating goes into the crowd as there’s nothing in the ring at the moment. Christian is #13 but has no one to fight because Scotty is still down. Instead we go to the back where Maven is rammed face first into a popcorn machine. Taker eats a handful of popcorn and finally leaves Maven alone.

Scotty gets in and walks into a DDT as DDP is #14. Nothing of note continues to happen until Scotty superkicks Page through the ropes to the floor and hits the Worm on Christian. Page sneaks back in and throws Scotty out as Chuck is #15. They all beat on each other for a bit with Christian and Chuck teaming up for a bit. Godfather, now the owner of an escort service in an attempt to salvage the gimmick, is #16 and brings out 12 good looking women with him. Page is eliminated off camera during this.

With Godfather in the ring after about 15 seconds due to dancing, Albert is #17. He’s the Hip Hop Hippo at this point and lasts about 45 seconds before being tossed by the villains. Godfather is dumped soon thereafter, and here’s Saturn at #18. Chuck and Perry slug it out as the fans cheer for the Ho’s leaving. Nothing happens again, until Austin is #19. Chuck is the first victim, getting stomped down in the corner. There goes Christian, Saturn gets a Stunner, Chuck is eliminated, Saturn is dumped, Christian gets thrown back in, Stunned and thrown out again, Chuck gets the same as Christian, and Austin takes a breather.

Val Venis is #20 (and also returning) and things go about as you would expect, although Val does get in some offense and survives until Test is #21. A double teaming lasts for a bit until Austin remembers who he’s fighting and dumps both guys in a few seconds. Austin does his watch bit when no one is in the ring with him. Notice the difference between the big stars and the regular guys: the big ones are CONSTANTLY trying to keep the audience entertained instead of letting them die.

Speaking of entertaining the crowd, HHH is #22. The entrance takes about a minute and a half, they stare at each other for about twenty more seconds, and the slugout only lasts for a few seconds until Hurricane is #23. Luckily for him, the legends knock each other down so Hurricane can tries a double chokeslam. The look on Austin’s face is hilarious as the two of them dump Hurricane with ease.

Austin and HHH chop each other in the corner until Faarooqq is #24 and lasts about that many seconds. Mr. Perfect makes a surprise return at #25 to a big surprise reaction from the audience. He looks a bit, shall we say, tipsy here. Perfect chills on the floor a bit as JR makes a mistake, saying Perfect debuted at the Rumble in 1993. In reality he was #4 in 1989. Austin and HHH double team Perfect to no avail so here’s Angle at #26, drawing the rare double chant of YOU SUCK WHAT.

HHH and Angle pair off as do the other two guys and the match slows down a bit. Kurt starts suplexing people but can’t dump HHH because Austin makes the save due to reasons of a big ego. Big Show is #27 in his one piece women’s swimsuit. Angle gets chokeslammed so Austin and HHH double team the big man to limited avail. HHH saves Angle, presumably because he wants Kurt’s help to get Show out. Makes sense I guess.

Show dominates everyone until Kane is #28. HHH gets chokeslammed so we can have our battle of the giants. Jerry: “They’re not getting any smaller are they JR?” Uh yeah Jerry, actually they are. They do the double chokeslam spot but Kane kicks Show low and picks him up, slamming him to the floor. AWESOME display of strength there, but Angle immediately dumps Kane to get us back down to four.

Van Dam is #29 and hits a Five Star on Angle who is down from something we didn’t see. Everyone but HHH gets kicked down so he hits a Pedigree to put Van Dam down. Booker T is #30, giving us a final group of Booker, RVD, Angle, Perfect, HHH and Austin. Booker throws out RVD without having to do anything else thanks to the Pedigree. We get a Spinarooni, followed by a Stunner and elimination to get us down to Austin, Angle, HHH and Perfect.

Austin hits a slingshot into the post on HHH who walks into an Angle Slam. Angle rolls some Germans on Austin and the C/Kurts try to dump Austin. Austin hits some HARD right hands to break that up but as he tries to dump Perfect, Angle runs up and dumps the Rattlesnake. Austin pulls Perfect to the floor but Kurt sends Austin into the steps to break it up. Steve still isn’t done as he comes back in with a chair for all three guys. Eh he’s Austin so he can get away with it.

Angle accidentally clothesline Hennig but doesn’t eliminate him. There’s the PerfectPlex (BIG pop for that) to Kurt but HHH dumps Perfect a second later. Angle and HHH stare each other down and the Game pounds away on him to take over. Kurt gets HHH to the apron but can’t get the win. HHH chokes away but charges into a backdrop, sending him to the apron. Kurt makes the classic mistake of not making sure the other guy is out and gets clotheslined to the floor, giving HHH the Rumble. For you trivia guys, this is the longest Rumble ever to date, even going 11 seconds longer than the 40 man version.

Rating: C+. This has some very bad spots in it but the rest of the stuff is solid all around. Once Austin gets in there things pick up a lot, but the 18 guys before him don’t do much. Taker’s elimination came too fast which hurt things here, as there was no one of note from #9 until Austin at #19. Still though, the good stuff here was good enough to check this out, but you might want to fast forward some parts of it.

Overall Rating: B-. This is a pretty good but certainly not great show. 2002 was a bad year for the company on Raw and things were clearly starting to look weak here. The main problem was the lack of elevation of anyone new to the main event in the year, as the main events for almost every PPV were people who had been there before. There’s nothing on here that’s required viewing but there’s also nothing terrible on here either. Check it out but don’t expect to be blown away.

Ratings Comparison

Spike Dudley/Tazz vs. Billy and Chuck

Original: C-
Redo: D+

William Regal vs. Edge

Original: C-
Redo: D+

Trish Stratus vs. Jazz

Original: D+
Redo: D

Ric Flair vs. Vince McMahon

Original: D+
Redo: C+

Chris Jericho vs. The Rock

Original: B+
Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: C-
Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: B-
Redo: B-

Yep, about the same for the most part here.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Smackdown
Date: August 3, 2007
Location: US Airways Center, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We are on the way to Summerslam and now we have a main event set for the show. Batista will be challenging the Great Khali for the World Heavyweight Title, which you probably could have seen coming. Other than that, we’re getting some kind of competition between Matt Hardy and MVP, which will NOT be wrestling, because that would be too appropriate. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Batista interrupting Great Khali’s celebration last week (kind of a jerk move really) and setting up the Summerslam title match.

Opening sequence.

Here are Teddy Long and Kristal for a chat. Kristal says Teddylicious (JBL is gone off that one) has an announcement: the wedding will take place on September 21 and everyone here is invited! All you would have to do is come to Atlanta! Cue the Great Khali with Runjin Singh to interrupt though and Long is a bit nervous. Khali speaks to Long and screams at Kristal, who runs off. Singh translates, as Khali wants Batista for what happened last week, but Long doesn’t like how Khali spoke to the two of them. The title match is on for Summerslam though.

Kane vs. Chris Masters

Masters grabs a headlock to start but gets shoved away without much trouble. Kane chokes away in the corner and cranks on the arm to take Masters down. Masters manages to snap him throat first across the top rope and the neck crank goes on. That’s broken up with a belly to back suplex though and Kane adds a regular one for a bonus. Kane hammers away in the corner and hits the running clothesline into the side slam. Masters tries the Masterlock again but gets reversed into a chokeslam for the fast pin.

Rating: C-. Basic power match here with Masters not being able to hook his one big move and getting chokeslammed instead. This was a fine way to keep Kane looking strong before he goes into whatever he’s doing at Summerslam. Masters…well he’s still employed and that’s impressive at this point.

Deuce N Domino are ready to take out Batista and Ric Flair. Deuce didn’t like Batista looking at Cherry….who is missing.

Chuck Palumbo still likes motorcycles.

Mark Henry vs. Nate Nickerson

Splash and bearhug finish for Henry in about a minute.

Henry says no one of consequence will take his challenge because of this, which sends us to a video on his dominance.

Jesse and Festus want to make sure they are well dressed, but only Jesse comes close.

We recap Matt Hardy vs. MVP, the latter of whom says he can beat Matt in anything.

It’s time for arm wrestling, with MVP taking his time like any heel in an arm wrestling contest. We go long form with the stalling so Matt finally grabs the hand and makes him start. Matt wins, sending MVP into a rant about how he can beat Matt in anything.

Matt Hardy vs. MVP

Non-title and joined in progress with Matt working on the arm. Matt sends the arm into the buckle and cranks away a bit before taking it down into an armbar. A Stunner on the arm gets two but MVP snaps Matt’s throat across the top. Now it’s MVP getting to crank on both arms at once but Matt throws him down and fires off right hands.

MVP is right back with the big boot, which sends Matt out to the floor to cut off the cover. The front facelock goes on back inside, because kicking Matt in the head again isn’t an option for some reason. Matt powers up and grabs a suplex to escape, followed by the clotheslines. A bulldog gives Matt two and a Side Effect is good for the same. The threat of the Twist of Fate sends MVP outside again and this time he takes the countout.

Rating: B-. These two worked well together and now the feud gets to continue. The good thing is they didn’t do something stupid here like have a surprise fall, as MVP bailing to talk more trash later is the right way to go. Hardy is actually on a heck of a roll at the moment and hopefully that leads somewhere good.

Domino is looking for Cherry and finds her coming out of Batista’s locker room. They leave with Deuce, but Ric Flair was inside. Batista pops up for some smiling as I have a lot of questions.

Jamie Noble runs into a laughing Funaki and Shannon Moore, who mock him for being short and losing to Hornswoggle. Noble gets frustrated as Hornswoggle pops out of a garbage can.

Rey Mysterio is back at Summerslam.

Chavo Guerrero comes in to see Vickie Guerrero and Kristal. The latter leaves so Chavo talks about putting Rey Mysterio out of action. Vickie gives him Rey at Summerslam.

Jamie Noble vs. Shannon Moore

Noble forearms him in the back of the head to start and some headbutts keep Moore in trouble. Moore fights up and hits Jeff Hardy’s Whisper in the Wind for two, only to walk into a gutbuster for the pin.

Rating: C-. Nothing to see here, but it was a way to get Noble on the show, likely for what will be a goofy post match bit with Hornswoggle. That’s hardly the most thrilling deal, but at least they’re doing something with the title. Now granted they haven’t had a chance to turn it into a full on joke yet, but give them some time.

Post match here’s Hornswoggle for the chase, capped off with Noble getting hit with a pie (which he just happened to have laying around). Then Hornswoggle steps on him and runs away.

Kenny Dykstra vs. Jimmy Wang Yang

Victoria and cowgirl Torrie Wilson are here. Yang grabs a headlock to start and hits a hard clothesline to the floor. The ensuing dive takes Dykstra out again but he’s right back with a neckbreaker for two. The chinlock goes on, followed by a suplex and another chinlock. Dykstra ties him in the Tree of Woe, where Victoria gets in a few shots of her own.

Yang doesn’t seem to mind and comes back with a dropkick, followed by the running spinwheel kick in the corner. The high crossbody is knocked out of the air though, meaning Dykstra can go up as well. This time it’s Yang kicking him down, setting up the moonsault press for the pin.

Rating: C. The more I watch these shows, the more amazed I am by how how nothing a lot of these matches seem to be. Yang is just shy of being a comedy character (who can wrestle a nice enough match) and he’s having a match with another low level guy like Dykstra. It’s not bad action or anything, but there isn’t much to draw anyone in here.

Ric Flair/Batista vs. Deuce N Domino

Non-title and Cherry is here with Deuce N Domino. Batista punches away at Deuce to start and it’s off to Flair for a hiptoss. It’s back to Batista for an armbar, which doesn’t last very long. Instead Flair comes back in and is backdropped down to give Deuce N Domino a breather. Domino hits a jumping back elbow to the jaw for two and we take a break.

Back with Batista getting to clean house and handing it off to Flair for the Figure Four. Domino makes the fast save though and it’s an armbar to keep Flair down. Deuce punches away to set up the Flair Flop and the armbar goes on again. Flair is bleeding from the eye, meaning Domino can stay on the arm. An elbow to the face gets Flair out of trouble though and the hot tag brings in Batista to clean house. The spear and spinning Boss Man Slam connect…and here is Great Khali. The distraction lets Deuce N Domino jump Batista and that’s a DQ.

Rating: C+. Batista and Flair still work well together and it wouldn’t have been a terrible upset, but the champs can’t beat Flair in a tag match? With distraction included? I know their reign is all but dead but egads man. Pretty good for a low level main event though, and Khali vs. Batista is built up some more. The match is going to be ugly, but they’re doing something to set it up.

Post match Khali puts Flair in a claw hold and knocks him out to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Certainly not a bad show overall, but another show you didn’t need to see. That happens too frequently around Smackdown and it is never a good thing to see. They did add a few more matches to Summerslam, but another Rey vs. Chavo match is hardly the big drawing card for the show. Matt vs. MVP is good for a secondary feud though and if they can find a good angle, the title change should work out well. Overall pretty good, but they fall off after a certain point when it comes to feeling important.

 

 

 

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Royal Rumble 1992
Date: January 19, 1992
Location: Knickerbocker Arena, Albany, New York
Attendance: 17,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

I’m almost curious to look at this one again as I’ve seen it more times than I can count, but I’m wondering how well it really holds up. You always hear about 1992 being the gold standard for the match but it should be interesting to see where things go. It’s a really famous show and main event with the WWF World Title on the line in the Rumble. Let’s get to it.

We open with the roll call of the Rumble participants. I miss how simple this was: the show is all about the Rumble and nothing else.

The announcers intro the show with Heenan saying he’s banking on Flair. Gee you think?

Gorilla explains the Mountie winning the Intercontinental Title over the weekend and getting to defend against Roddy Piper tonight.

New Foundation vs. Orient Express

This would be Jim Neidhart/Owen Hart vs. Tanaka/Kato. Owen (my goodness I forgot about how stupid the big pants looked) and Kato start with some arm cranking as Gorilla asks Heenan about Flair’s number. An armdrag takes Kato down and we hear about Marty Jannetty and Brian Knobbs being out of the Rumble due to Nikolai Volkoff and Haku. Heenan: “Now that’s funny.”

Owen takes Kato down with a hurricanrana for a big high spot of this era. Neidhart comes in to stay on the arm before it’s off to Tanaka, who gets thrown down with relative ease. A spinebuster sets up a middle rope elbow for two but Tanaka finally gets in a few shots in the corner. That just earns him a backdrop, which gives us a quick break from Gorilla recapping the Mountie winning the Intercontinental Title. Apparently Bret wrestled with a 104 degree temperature (not exactly) but Heenan says he’s wrestled with an 113 degree temperature so Bret had it easy.

Owen crossbodies both of them down at once and a spinwheel kick gets two on Kato. It’s actually time to go for the mask but Kato bails to the floor in a bit of a weird scene as you don’t see faces tear at a mask that often. Tanaka finally gets in a cheap shot from the apron and Fuji adds a shot to the throat with the cane so the villains can take over. Another Fuji distraction lets Tanaka choke on the ropes as Heenan starts in on being fair to Flair.

Owen reverses a whip into the corner but charges into a superkick to keep him in trouble. The chinlock goes on until Tanaka comes in for one of his own. A hard whip into the corner gets Owen out of trouble but Kato distracts the referee so the tag to Neidhart doesn’t count (it worked back then and it works today). Fuji’s cane shot (Heenan: “My monitor must be dirty because I didn’t see anything!”) gets two and Tanaka starts in on the arm.

Seems a bit late for that so Owen belly to belly suplexes him for his bad timing. Kato comes back in and works on the arm as well before Tanaka comes in for the jump over the back onto Owen’s back, ala the Beverly Brothers. Owen finally takes Tanaka down and makes the hot tag off to Neidhart for the house cleaning. A hard whip sets up a suicide dive on Kato, followed by a Rocket Launcher to finish Tanaka at 17:24.

Rating: C. The match was long, but that’s what it’s supposed to be on a show like this. They need to fill in a lot of the show as the whole thing is less than two hours and forty minutes with five matches. I miss the days when you can have these simple matches without any backstory that are perfectly watchable and feature people as talented as Owen going out there to carry things. Good enough opener and it didn’t feel long, which is always a plus.

We recap the “sick” Bret losing the Intercontinental Title to the Mountie, which translates to Bret was about to walk and take the title to WCW but Vince talked him into dropping the title just in time. Roddy Piper made a post match save, setting up the title match here.

Mountie wants to know why he’s not winning this match by forfeit because Piper doesn’t have the win/loss record to earn a title shot. He’ll treat Piper like he treated Bret.

Piper isn’t worried about Mountie taking his integrity because he doesn’t have it. Tonight, Piper is here to win two titles and he has to win the first one first. Mountie must be dreaming, and it’s probably been all wet too.

Intercontinental Title: The Mountie vs. Roddy Piper

Mountie, with Jimmy Hart in his corner, is defending and Piper charges at him with the kilt for some early blinding. The beatdown is on with Mountie being knocked outside and Piper following to hammer away even more. Some Hart interference allows Mountie to take over for all of three seconds before Piper slugs away back inside.

There’s the bulldog and Piper does the double poke in the eye. A missed dropkick gives Mountie a delayed two and he rams Piper face first into the buckle a few times. Mountie throws him to the floor but gets caught with a sunset flip for two. The comeback is on with a right hand and backdrop with Mountie not being able to do a thing. An atomic drop puts Mountie over the top but he skins the cat, only to be sent into Hart. The sleeper gives Piper the title (his first in the company) at 5:22.

Rating: D. The match was little more than an extended workout for Piper, who wasn’t going to have any trouble against a goof like the Mountie. This was more about a feel good moment and giving the fans something to cheer, which worked very well. Piper should have been WWF Champion back in the 80s so this is as much of a consolation prize as he’s getting.

Post match the fans give Piper a standing ovation, calm down a bit when he shocks Mountie with the electric stick, and then go nuts again when he’s announced as the new champion. Heck of a moment there and crazy long overdue.

Hulk Hogan says he won’t have any friends in the Rumble because it’s all about becoming WWF Champion again.

The Bushwhackers and Jamison (a comedy guy who wasn’t that funny) are ready for the Beverly Brothers (or Sisters are they’re called here) and the Genius.

Beverly Brothers vs. Bushwhackers

Genius’ poem isn’t much here, just saying that Jamison isn’t a man. We spend over a minute on the Bushwhackers’ antics, including some head rubbing. We’ll make that two minutes as the Beverlies bail to the floor. They’re finally ready to go with Blake decking Luke from behind to take over, meaning Butch has to get into some early cheerleading. Some biting gets Luke out of trouble and double forearms allow for some marching around the ring.

Back in and Beau drops to a knee and offers a handshake as the gaga continues. Butch falls for this because he’s not that bright but still manages a bulldog as everything breaks down again. They just have no idea what to do here other than brawling do they? The Beverlies get sent outside again with Beau crawling underneath the ring….and let’s go to a wide shot to show the arena for the sake of something more interesting.

Both Beverlies fail at sneak attacks and get punched in the ribs before bailing AGAIN. A cheap shot finally lets Blake take over on Luke as we get down to something resembling a match. Some ax handles keep Luke down and a running headbutt to the back makes things even worse. Heenan goes into a weird tax rant about Jamison as the slow, uninteresting beatdown continues.

Beau gets rolled up for two to no reaction but we finally get to the point as Genius slaps Jamison down. Jamison: “HE HITTED ME!” I barely remember him from when I was a kid and looking back at him, he makes me want to pummel helpless woodland creatures. Luke finally avoids a charge and the hot tag brings in Butch to clean house. A running headbutt gets two but Blake trips Butch down so an elbow can get two. With Luke being sent outside, a top rope ax handle finishes Butch at 15:01. Yeah just a top rope ax handle. That’s how little this match meant.

Rating: F. I loved the Bushwhackers as a kid but egads this was torture. It wasn’t funny and just kept going between two nothing teams. This was more about the managers and I still have no idea why Jamison was supposed to be entertaining. Was it some weird Steve Urkel kind of thing where he’s a lovable nerd? Just awful here and I couldn’t wait for it to be over.

Post match the Bushwhackers clean house again and Jamison gets to kick Genius in the shin. Still stupid, though Genius’ selling is always fun.

The Legion of Doom is ready for the Natural Disasters. Good timing then.

Tag Team Titles: Legion of Doom vs. Natural Disasters

The Disasters are defending and have Jimmy Hart with them. Hawk goes straight at Typhoon to start and can’t do much with the big oaf. Everything breaks down until it’s off to Hawk vs. Earthquake for a battle of dropkicks straight out of the SNES Superstars of Wrestling (still good, though it’s as primitive as you can get for the time. Hawk’s isn’t bad while Earthquake’s is easily avoided, as a 6’4 468lb guy trying a dropkick is pretty easy to see.

Animal comes in and gets splashed by Earthquake, followed by the same thing from Typhoon. Since Typhoon isn’t very good though, he charges into a boot and gets clotheslined down. Hawk comes back in to try and work on the arm but gets caught in three straight backbreakers, plus a hard whip into the corner.

The bearhug (you knew that was coming) goes on with Hawk’s comeback being cut off in a hurry. Earthquake misses a splash in the corner and the hot tag brings in Animal, who has to backflip out of a belly to back suplex (going as well as you would guess). A double clothesline drops the Disasters and everything breaks down. The fight heads to the floor and Animal gets counted out at 9:25.

Rating: D. Not a good match by any means but it was a miracle after the previous mess. They had a story here with the champs not being used to being at a power disadvantage but that doesn’t mean it was an entertaining match. This was more of a styles clash than anything else, as Hawk and Animal weren’t able to do their big power moves and aren’t at their best trying to do other stuff. It could have been much worse though, like that disaster beforehand.

Post match the champs clean house with chairs.

Jimmy and the Disasters demand a rematch.

The announcers debate things for a bit with Monsoon not thinking much of Heenan’s complaints.

A very excited Roddy Piper says he has a dream for the Rumble and is keeping his eyes on the prize. The Intercontinental Title though is dedicated to his son Colt.

After looking at a clip of the legendary split with Marty Jannetty and the throw through the Barbershop window, Shawn Michaels says he was just saving Jannetty 29 other beatings (meaning Jannetty was going to beat himself). Tonight, Shawn is leaving with the WWF Title because he’s that awesome.

Ric Flair has drawn #3 in the Rumble but he’ll wrestle an hour if he has to, and that’s the bottom line. This is a Coliseum Video exclusive so the commentators don’t hear it, which explains why Heenan doesn’t know about this when the match starts.

Randy Savage loves the idea of this much competition. Oh and he wants to get his hands on Jake Roberts too.

Sid Justice, in that whisper of his, promises to win.

Repo Man says what’s everyone elses is his too, including the win.

British Bulldog won a battle royal in the Royal Albert Hall and this win is going to be even bigger.

Jake Roberts is ready for the Rumble and is going to leave just a little bit for Savage.

Ric Flair, with Mr. Perfect as the hype man, says today he’ll prove that he’s the REAL World’s Champion.

Paul Bearer says he and the Undertaker need 29 hearses and body bags. You could just throw them out of the ring you know.

Hulk Hogan promises to use the power of Hulkamania to win the Royal Rumble (it would be three in a row) because this is his cup of tea. Even if someone who calls themselves a friend stabs them in the back. Geez Hulk stop being so paranoid. Or stop being the kind of guy who everyone wants to stab in the back.

Jack Tunney gives a quick speech about how this is for the title. I’m not sure why this needed to happen but Tunney is still awesome.

WWF World Title: Royal Rumble

The title is vacant coming in and Heenan is instantly in his glory as the nervous manager for Flair. There are two minute intervals this year, which isn’t likely to mean much as we keep going. Also of note: on Superstars leading up to this, it was made clear that some of the bigger names (Hogan, Sid and Undertaker at least) were guaranteed to be in the final ten spots. As weird as that is, it’s nice to have an explanation for why things go so favorably for them. For some reason, this isn’t mentioned on the pay per view save for a very brief reference despite being public knowledge.

British Bulldog is #1 and Ted DiBiase is #2 as Heenan panics more and more each time. Bulldog hammers away to start but gets suplexed down for his efforts. That’s about it for DiBiase’s offense though as Bulldog clotheslines him out without much trouble. Flair is #3 and Heenan is beside himself while the other person beside him is thrilled, saying that Heenan can kiss it goodbye.

Bulldog hits a gorilla press and running shoulder as Flair is already begging off (as he should be). Jerry Sags is in at #4 and gets dropkicked out in short order, leaving Flair alone with Bulldog again. Heenan: “THIS ISN’T FAIR TO FLAIR!!!” Haku is in at #5 and pounds Bulldog down, until Flair goes after him for absolutely no logical reason. That means Haku beats Flair up but Bulldog gets rid of him, leaving us with the starters again.

Shawn Michaels is in at #6 and starts hammering away, followed by the (not yet important) superkick (which hits Flair in the hands) to put him down. Bulldog gets back up and throws Shawn over, meaning we get some skinning of the cat. The three way fight continues until Tito Santana is in at #7 with Heenan losing his mind (good thing he has two of them) at the talent in there.

Tito unloads on Flair with right hands and it’s a long beating until Barbarian is in at #8. Heenan: “He doesn’t like anybody! When I managed him he barely liked me!” Shawn gets a breather as the other four turn into a pretty weird tag match in another corner as I wonder how good a long Flair vs. Santana match could have been.

Texas Tornado is in at #9 and Flair goes right for him, possibly in flashbacks to Dallas (nearly ten years before, which is rather amazing when you think about it). Shawn gets slingshotted into the corner as Flair atomic drops Tornado out of the corner. Heenan thinks a crescent wrench would be a good idea here as things start to slow down.

Repo Man is in at #10, giving us Bulldog, Flair, Michaels, Santana, Barbarian, Tornado and Repo Man for a rather eclectic group. Tito hits a running crossbody on Barbarian for the “oh yeah this is a battle royal” spot. Barbarian and Flair double up on Tornado in the corner until Greg Valentine is in at #11 and goes after Flair for old times’ sake. We get to the expected slowdown period, which had to take place at some point.

Nikolai Volkoff is in at #12 as the ring is getting way too full. Valentine puts Flair in the Figure Four to freak Heenan out all over again as Repo Man eliminates Volkoff to clear things out a bit. Big Boss Man is in at #13 and starts those fast punches at everyone he can. Repo Man gets rid of Valentine but Boss Man tosses him as well, followed by Flair dumping Tornado and Bulldog as the ring clears out in a hurry.

Santana and Michaels eliminate each other as Hercules is in at #14. Boss Man gets rid of both him and Haku, leaving us with Boss Man vs. Flair as Heenan panics all over again. A running clothesline drops Flair but he low bridges Boss Man out and is left all alone. That means a Flair Flop for a breather until Roddy Piper is in at #15.

The rights and lefts start fast so Flair bails outside for a breather. Piper isn’t having that as he throws Flair back inside for more shots to the head. An atomic drop doesn’t get Flair out of trouble as Piper is right back with the poke to the eyes. Piper throws on an airplane spin to set up a sleeper as both the fans and Heenan are losing it over the beating. Jake Roberts is in at #16 and egads I’d love a three way feud between these guys for the promos alone.

The short clothesline to Flair looks to set up the DDT, which is enough to get the mega heel Jake cheered. Piper makes the save for some reason, causing Heenan to say that it’s a kilt instead of a skirt. The Figure Four goes on but Piper breaks it up. Heenan: “YOU NO GOOD SKIRT WEARING FREAK!” That gets me every time. Jim Duggan is in at #17 as the expected tag match breaks out.

IRS is in at #18 as the pace slows down again, which you knew was coming and isn’t a bad thing. Everyone punches at everyone else until Jimmy Snuka (looking very old as well as weird in tights) is in at #19 and goes after Flair. Heenan starts to calm down until Monsoon reminds him of everyone yet to come. The Undertaker is in at #20, giving us Flair, Piper, Roberts, Duggan, IRS, Snuka and Undertaker.

A single shot to the face gets rid of Snuka and Undertaker chokes Flair down in the corner. Duggan, ever the nitwit, comes over to go after Undertaker and gets kicked very low for his efforts (Heenan: “TWO POINTS!”). IRS and Undertaker team up (what a visual) to beat on Duggan and it’s Randy Savage at a full on sprint at #21, meaning Jake bails to the floor in a trademark smart move. Jake comes back in and gets kneed out by Savage, who follows him out with a top rope ax handle, eliminating himself in the process.

Savage actually goes back in because “he has to be propelled by someone else”, setting off years of continuity issues as people had eliminated themselves both before and after with no such issue. Heenan says Piper should be credited for winning the Intercontinental Title and still coming out to fight. It was a five minute match with Piper basically just warming up.

Flair hits Undertaker low (Heenan: “He just tried to lift the Undertaker!”) and it’s Berzerker in at #22. The brawling begins again with Undertaker choking Piper who chokes Flair as Monsoon talks about Flair surpassing forty five minutes. Not bad considering the match started less than forty four minutes ago (more on this later). Virgil is in at #23 because they would take anybody for this thing. People start ganging up on Undertaker in a smart move but he shrugs them off and tries to get rid of Flair.

Colonel Mustafa (Iron Sheik) is in at #24 as the ring is getting full again. Good thing a certain red and yellow guy is coming in any minute now. Rick Martel is in at #25 and a lot of choking and kicking ensues. Savage gets rid of Mustafa in short order, which is probably best for everyone. With that going nowhere, Hulk Hogan is in at #26 and it’s time to pick up the pace. He goes right after Undertaker and Flair before getting rid of Undertaker and Berzerker. Duggan and Virgil eliminate each other and Skinner is in at #27. Now that the ring is far less full, Martel and Flair can’t get rid of Piper.

Sgt Slaughter is in at #28 as Martel gets rid of Skinner. Flair is announced as the all time record holder for time in a single Rumble at 55 minutes, which is how long the match has lasted so far and not how long he’s been in the ring. Sid Justice is in at #29 but can’t get rid of IRS. Flair slugs away at Hogan before taking Sid down by the hair, only to have Sid nip up. The Warlord is in at #30, giving us a final field of Flair, Piper, IRS, Savage, Martel, Hogan, Slaughter, Justice and Warlord.

Flair and Hogan slug it out on the floor with Hogan suplexing him to freak Heenan out even more, if that’s possible. Sid gets rid of Slaughter and Piper gets rid of IRS as Flair chops Hogan with as much success as you would expect. Hogan and Sid clothesline Warlord out, which Monsoon calls a surprise. Sid dumps Piper and Martel at the same time and we’re down to Hogan, Sid, Savage and Flair for a heck of a final four.

Flair knees Savage out to get us down to three. Hogan picks Flair up but Sid dumps him, leaving Hogan grabbing at Sid’s arm for stealing his title. Since that’s as much of a jerk move as you can get, Hogan isn’t exactly well received and Flair dumps Sid out to win the title at 1:02:00. Heenan’s celebration is legendary as he shouts YES more than Daniel Bryan could ever hope to.

Rating: A-. It’s still a classic, though I’m not sure it’s the masterpiece that it’s made out to be. There are some possible winners, but Hogan, Flair and Sid are the only real options to win the whole thing. Some of the dead spots in the middle didn’t help things, though there are very few names who feel like they’re just there for the sake of filling in spots. The few who are don’t last long and that helps things a lot.

Now on the other hand, it’s considered this good for a reason. The fans are with this thing from beginning to end with Flair’s performance in particular stealing the show. He sells the exhaustion perfectly and the whole thing works very well when mixed with Heenan’s masterful performance on commentary. They told a great story with Flair overcoming the odds and winning completely clean while looking like the biggest villain in the world. This worked very well and, aside from Hogan being a huge jerk, it worked very close to perfection.

Post match Hogan still won’t shut up and shoves Sid with the fans booing this out of the building. Referees break it up as Hogan is just completely wrong here as he got eliminated clean and can’t handle not being the best.

Flair, Perfect and Heenan celebrate in the back with Flair saying this is the greatest moment in his life. This new title is the only one that makes you the best in the world and he told them all that it was going to be true. One big group WOO and some goodbyes from Gene Okerlund wrap things up.

Overall Rating: B. This is a show where the main event is all that matters and there’s nothing wrong with that. The previous four matches are of varying quality (that’s an understatement) but the opener is fine and the title change is a feel good moment. It’s no secret that this is all about the Rumble itself though and that’s been the case several other times. It’s a good show and the Rumble is great, which is all you need on a show like this.

Ratings Comparison

New Foundation vs. Orient Express

Original: C+
2013 Redo: B-
2018 Redo: C

The Mountie vs. Roddy Piper

Original: B
2013 Redo: D
2018 Redo: D

Beverly Brothers vs. Bushwhackers

Original: F+
2013 Redo: T (The Worst Match In Royal Rumble History)
2018 Redo: F

Legion of Doom vs. Natural Disasters

Original: D
2013 Redo: D
2018 Redo: D

Royal Rumble

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A
2018 Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: B
2013 Redo: B
2018 Redo: B

It’s interesting that the main event and opener keep going down while the overall rating stays the same. Still a very good show though.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

And the 2013 Redo:

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.