Smackdown
Date: July 27, 2007
Location: Save Mart Center, Fresno, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re done with the Great American Bash and we’re still living in the Great Khali’s world. Khali survived against Kane and Batista in a triple threat match and now we need a new challenger. By that it probably means one of the two, and since Kane got pinned, Batista would seem to be a likely option. Let’s get to it.

Here is the Great American Bash if you need a recap.

We open with a triple threat recap as Khali retains the title.

Opening sequence.

Batista vs. Deuce

Domino and Cherry are here with Deuce. Batista powers him down with as much effort as you would expect him to need and then does it again. Domino offers a distraction though and Batista gets kicked out to the floor. Back in and Deuce scores with a kick to the head before avoiding a charge to send Batista into the post. The armbar goes on for a bit but Deuce spends too much time trash talking, allowing Batista to hit a spear. Some clotheslines set up the shoulders in the corner and there’s the spinebuster. The Batista Bomb finishes Deuce off.

Rating: C. This was a heck of a lot more competitive than I would have bet on and that’s not the worst thing. Batista should have to break a sweat to beat a champion, even if it is Deuce. It might not have been a great match, but it makes sense to get Batista out there in front of the fans.

We look at Hornswoggle winning the Cruiserweight Title.

Jamie Noble is sick of people laughing at him for losing to Hornswoggle so tonight it is time for him to get the title back.

Michelle McCool likes to swim.

Cruiserweight Title: Hornswoggle vs. Jamie Noble

Noble is challenging but there is no Hornswoggle to start. With no champ, Noble checks underneath the ring but Hornswoggle pops up in the ring because of course he does. Noble gets back in so Hornswoggle can bite/kick his leg for some early annoyance. They head outside and Noble kicks the steps by mistake. Hornswoggle tricks him into missing a charge and it’s a dropkick for two on Noble. Back up and Hornswoggle gets tossed outside, where the chase is on. Noble manages to rib off Hornswoggle’s shoe…but falls and gets counted out. Somehow, Cole interprets this as a pin.

Rating: D. Somehow, this might make the title feel a bit more important than it has in months. Yes it was comedy and the champ made Noble look like an idiot, but I’ll almost take this over the lifeless matches that we had for such a long time. Hornswoggle is little more than a joke as champion but it’s not like the title has meant anything in a long time anyway.

Video on Rey Mysterio, who is on his way back.

We look at the Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero I Quit match where Chavo destroyed Rey’s knee to put him on the shelf.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Eugene

Apparently Eugene and Cole had a nice chat earlier today. Chavo goes after the knee to start and we hit the half crab to make it worse. That’s broken up and the bad knee means Eugene can’t get the airplane spin. Instead, Chavo can belly to back suplex him down and it’s back to the knee. The leg cranking is on and Chavo bends the knee around the rope. Chavo sends him face first into the corner and Eugene’s comeback is on, meaning the airplane spin can work this time. That’s enough for Chavo, who hits a quick brainbuster and the frog splash for the pin.

Rating: C-. It was about all you could get out of Chavo vs. Eugene with Chavo working on the knee to show he’s ready for the return of Rey Mysterio. Other than that though, it was little more than a squash with Guerrero never being in any serious danger. Fine enough to build Chavo back up though, assuming you can get invested in a Chavo Guerrero feud.

Ric Flair and Matt Hardy are ready for their tag match.

Jesse and Festus really love America.

MVP/Chris Masters vs. Matt Hardy/Ric Flair

Hardy starts with MVP but it’s off to Masters before anything gets going. Masters fights out of an early headlock and powers Hardy into the corner for a shot to the face. MVP comes in and stomps away in the corner but it’s quickly off to Flair for a bunch of chops. The villains are knocked outside for a breather and we take an early break.

Back with Flair working on MVP’s leg but a rope is grabbed in a hurry. Hardy comes in for a few shots and it’s right back to Flair for more chops. One of them knocks MVP over for the tag to Masters, who unloads in the corner. MVP’s running boot in the corner knocks Flair silly and it’s off to a hammerlock. Masters comes back in for a powerslam and an armbar but Flair fights up in a hurry. A kick to the face allows the hot tag to Hardy so house can be cleaned. The Side Effect gets two with MVP making a fast save. Not that it matters as the Twist of Fate finishes Masters (with MVP not bothering to make another save).

Rating: C+. Hardy gets a win back to start his rebuilding and that is a good idea. Ultimately, Hardy is probably not done with MVP and the title so it makes a lot of sense to put him in in a spot like this. Flair and Masters were just kind of there, but at least they did something to keep the match fresh.

Post match MVP says that doesn’t matter because he’s still the US Champion. Hardy brought everything he had at the Great American Bash and lost, because he can’t beat MVP at anything. Matt tells him to put his money where his mouth is and give him another title shot. MVP says the title is off the table but Matt can’t beat him at anything, from baseball to running to chess or anything else. That’s fine with Matt, who says he’ll pick a bunch of games and beat MVP every single time. Then MVP will have no choice but to give Matt a US Title shot. I think Matt’s logic might be a bit off there.

Chuck Palumbo loves motorcycles.

Mark Henry vs. Joey Blaylock

Henry runs him over without much trouble to start and adds a big boot. A powerslam and splash get two, with Henry picking him up. The bearhug finishes Blaylock in a hurry.

Post match, Henry says no man or beast can beat him and tosses Blaylock outside. That was such a bad beating that Henry beat the Blaylock out of him and turned the guy into Joey Ryan.

Raw Rebound.

Teddy Long and Kristal are talking wedding plans when Ron Simmons comes in. Long asks him to be the best man, which is good for a catchphrase and an emotional hug. The guys are off for some cigars and reminiscing.

Here’s the same video on the Great American Bash triple threat from earlier.

Edge had his torn pectoral muscle fixed and he still blames Kane.

Kane vs. Dave Taylor

Taylor isn’t scared and slugs away to start, earning himself a toss across the ring. Kane unloads in the corner and drops an elbow, only to get uppercutted some more. An armbar actually has Kane in a bit more trouble and Taylor pounds him into the corner again. Kane isn’t having that though and scores with a running clothesline, setting up the sidewalk slam. There’s the top rope clothesline and Kane hits the chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: C. Who would have thought that Taylor would give Kane a bit of a fight here? Taylor is someone who certainly does put in the effort every time he is out there and it gives you a match that is far better than you would expect. Kane seems primed for a big enough match at Summerslam, though I’m not sure who he could face.

Torrie Wilson has gone cowgirl for her mixed tag with Jimmy Wang Yang against Victoria and Kenny Dykstra. And no, apparently the shorts aren’t too short.

Torrie Wilson/Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Kenny Dykstra/Victoria

Victoria goes after Torrie before the bell but it’s Dykstra clotheslining Yang a few times to start instead. We hit the chinlock with a knee in Yang’s back as commentary talks about how Torrie looks. Yang fights up and hits a spinwheel kick, allowing the double tag to the women. Some clotheslines have Victoria in trouble but she comes right back with the spinning side slam for two. The double arm crank goes on but Torrie is back up with a swinging neckbreaker. Torrie has to crawl away from Dykstra though…and it’s off to Yang a few seconds later anyway. The moonsault press finishes Dykstra without much trouble.

Rating: D. They had a short and bad match as commentary talked about how great Torrie looked throughout. That’s about all you can expect here and I can’t say I’m surprised. It isn’t like there is anything else for them to do and Torrie wearing the outfit was there to be more fun and silly than anything else, which didn’t help the match that much.

It’s time for Great Khali’s World Championship celebration, complete with a bunch of dancers and music setting up his entrance. Khali and Runjin Singh come out, with Khali holding the title upside down again. Singh translates Khali’s yelling, which is bragging about all of his accomplishments. Now he is one of the greatest Indians of all time, like M. Night Shyamalan and Mother Teresa! It is time for Punjabi dancing but, after a good while, Batista interrupts. The challenge for a title match is on and a spear drops Khali to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This wasn’t a very good show and I’m not sure I can see it getting better anytime in the near future. There was very little worth seeing on here and I don’t know how good things are going to be on the way to Summerslam. Edge being gone hurt things but it wasn’t like it was a great weekly show before his injury. It wasn’t a very good show, but it was more uninteresting than anything else.

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Smackdown
Date: July 6, 2007
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Attendance: 13,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re on the way to the Great American Bash and that could go in a few different directions after last week. Batista beat Edge but isn’t allowed to challenge for the title. Therefore we are going to need a new challenger, but I’m not sure who that is going to be. Maybe we can have a wacky competition to crown a new #1 contender. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

MVP vs. Matt Hardy

Non-title and before the match, MVP says that the title means he is better than anyone here but Matt’s music cuts him off. They lock up to start with MVP grabbing a headlock to take over. Matt gets sent into the corner and MVP is already looking cocky. A slam drops Matt again and MVP gives him the Ballin pose. Matt flips out of a test of strength and but MVP spins over into a backslide for two.

This time it’s Matt working on a headlock of his own, setting up a bulldog out of the corner. Back up and MVP kicks away at the leg before pulling up the pant leg to get at the brace. We take a break and come back with MVP kicking him in the back and grabbing an armbar. Matt fights out of that in a hurry and hits the middle rope elbow to the back for two more. MVP catches him on the apron though and knocks him into the barricade for the big crash to take over.

We hit the seated abdominal stretch on Matt on the mat, followed by a waistlock to mix it up a bit. Matt gets up again and hits back to back Side Effects for two each but catches him on top with a superplex for two of his own. A fireman’s carry drop bangs up Matt’s ribs even worse and MVP kicks him in the head for another near fall. MVP’s running boot to the chest in the corner gets two but Matt is right back with a Twist of Fate for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: B-. This got some time and Matt continues to be the underrated gem of the roster as he is having one long and pretty good match after another. I liked this one well enough, though some of the ribs work could have been cut out in the middle. I’m not wild on the champ losing twice in a row though, and hopefully that isn’t the start of a trend. It probably is, but hopefully not.

Michelle McCool goes shopping.

Kristal and Teddy Long are discussing wedding plans when Edge comes in. He wants to know what he’s doing tonight so Long says go have the Cutting Edge. Long will even send in the biggest guest the show has ever had.

Chris Masters vs. Jimmy Wang Yang

Masters sends him into the corner to start and runs him over without much trouble. A clothesline knocks him silly as JBL says this is what happens when cruiserweights face heavyweights. Yang fights up and kicks away, including a dropkick, but a high crossbody is pulled out of the air. The Masterlock finishes in a hurry.

Post match here is Great Khali, so Masters bails in a hurry. Yang is picked up and chokeslammed without much effort. Through the translator, Khali issues an open challenge for the Great American Bash, promising to destroy more people until someone accepts.

Jesse and Festus are coming to Smackdown. Apparently Festus is a navigational wizard.

Major Brothers vs. Jeremy Young/Mike Fox

Brian cranks on Fox’s arm to start and it’s off to Brett to work on an armbar. A double hiptoss gets two with Young making the save but Brett knocks him off the apron. That leaves Fox to get caught in a Russian legsweep/STO combination for a fast pin. The Majors didn’t look bad here.

Rey Mysterio is coming back.

Finlay vs. Ric Flair

Somehow this is their first singles match ever. They start slowly as we hear about their various bar activities. A hard shoulder puts Flair into the corner but he takes Finlay down by the leg. Back up and Finlay knocks him into the corner before grabbing the nerve hold. Flair fights up and goes with a thumb to the eye, only to get clotheslined back down for two. Now it’s Finlay starting in on the leg, including a half crab into the Celtic Knot.

Flair makes the rope so Finlay hits a Vader Bomb onto the leg to stay on the target. A cannonball down onto the leg is cut off though and Finlay crashes outside. Back in and Flair grabs the Figure Four, sending Finlay to the ropes this time. A belly to back suplex drops Finlay again but here is Hornswoggle for a distraction, allowing Finlay to hit Flair in the knee with the Shillelagh. The Celtic Knot finishes Flair in a hurry.

Rating: C+. These are the kind of guys who could have a good match with each other just due to pure talent so I’m not at all surprised that this worked out. The ending was an easy way for Finlay to cheat and win so Flair gets to save a bit of face. Not exactly a great match, but it was nice to see for the sake of a curiosity.

Victoria interrupts Torrie Wilson’s Summerslam photo shoot and says Torrie isn’t taking over Smackdown like she did on Raw. Torrie calls her crazy and the fight is on.

Great Khali beats up a stagehand, who had been accused of wanting to face him at Great American Bash.

Chuck Palumbo vs. Kenny Dykstra

This is Palumbo’s return after several years away and he has become a biker in his absence. Palumbo sends him into the corner to start but Dykstra is back with a dropkick. Dykstra sends him arm first into the post and a DDT on the arm gets two. We hit the armbar for a bit but Palumbo fights up and hits a slam spun into a Rock Bottom (Full Throttle) for the pin.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here, but what were you expecting from these two? Palumbo as a biker is about as lower card of a gimmick as you can get but he could be fine to fill in some time for a few weeks. Dykstra continues to be someone who is fine as a heel that you want to see get punched in the face and he filled in that role well enough this time too.

Raw Rebound.

Mark Henry is ready to hurt the new wrestlers around here.

Deuce vs. Eugene

What an odd match, though it might have something to do with Domino having a broken nose. Eugene is distracted by Cherry’s skates so Deuce sends him into the corner to start. Deuce stops for a kiss from Cherry so Eugene Hulks Up…and here is Great Khali to beat both guys up.

Post no contest (which should have been a DQ), Khali issues the open challenge again and here is Batista to accept. The staredown is on with Khali leaving.

Rey Mysterio is still coming back. Nothing has changed in the last hour.

Here is Edge for the Cutting Edge but he doesn’t know the guest. He would love to tell us about the guest but he can’t do that tonight. Edge is ready to ask the tough questions so here is…..Kane (giving us a great face from Edge, who seems to gulp a bit). Edge: “Like the kids say today, it’s all good.” Edge talks about how Kane debuted in WWE ten years ago this October and brings up Kane introducing the Inferno match.

We hear about See No Evil, but that doesn’t Edge talks about his own accomplishments, which are a bit better than Kane’s. Edge goes to leave but Kane grabs him by the throat, saying he doesn’t like Edge very much. That’s enough for Edge, who says he’ll never be in the ring with Kane again. Cue Teddy Long to say not so fast, because Edge is defending the World Title against Kane at the Great American Bash. It might not be the biggest match in the world, but Kane is as good as anyone else available at the moment.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a nice show with some good action and the main event set for the pay per view. They still need some bigger names around here and hopefully the returning Mysterio can help in that area. The stars they have are good enough at the moment, but they don’t have much of a bench and that could become a problem in a hurry. For now though, they had a pretty good show, even with Deuce vs. Eugene getting the final match slot.

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Smackdown
Date: June 29, 2007
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re officially back on track around here as the entire weekend situation came and went without having much of an impact on Smackdown. Therefore, it is time to get going on the way to Great American Bash and Edge is going to need a new challenger. I’m not sure who that could be at the moment, but maybe they can surprise us. Let’s get to it.

Here is Vengeance if you need a recap.

We open with the same Vince McMahon video from ECW, saying there will be no further mentions of Chris Benoit on this show.

Opening sequence.

Ric Flair vs. Carlito

Commentary explains that Vickie Guerrero is in charge tonight and has made a bunch of interpromotional matches (which apparently she can just do). Carlito drives him into the corner to start but gets chopped back. A backdrop puts Flair down for two and Carlito hits a weird running dropkick in the corner (as he got a running start, paused, and then hit the dropkick).

Another, more traditional dropkick gets two on Flair and Carlito pounds him back into the corner. We hit the armbar on the mat with Carlito throwing in some shots to the ribs for a bonus. Carlito switches to a bodyscissors but Flair gets to his feet and hits him in the head to escape. Flair elbows, WOO’s, backdrops, struts, and grabs the Figure Four. That’s broken up so Flair drops some elbows on the knee and puts it back on for the win.

Rating: C-. This is a feud that has been kind of beaten into the ground but it was a fine enough way to burn through the first ten minutes of the show. Flair might not be what he once was but he is certainly capable of having an eight minute match against someone as competent as Carlito. One other thing here: I would like to see more wrestlers take some lessons from Flair after he wins a match. He always looks like he accomplished something and there’s something nice about it.

Matt Hardy vs. Lance Cade

No seconds here for a change. Matt grabs a headlock to start and then elbows Cade down. Back up and a dropkick puts Hardy down as well, sending Cade into a rather enthusiastic celebration. They trade hammerlocks until Hardy sends him out to the floor for a breather. Back in and the threat of a Twist of Fate sends Cade bailing to the apron (Cole: “What the h*** was that?” It was pretty obvious Cole.).

Cade comes back in and hits a sitout spinebuster, followed by a heck of a back elbow to the jaw for two. An abdominal stretch keeps Hardy in trouble until he slips out and scores with an enziguri. Matt’s bulldog gets two but Cade blasts him with a clothesline. Cade puts him on the top but Matt spins around him and grabs the Twist of Fate for the fast pin.

Rating: C. The house show nature feel of this show is continuing and that’s not a bad thing. Hardy is someone else who can have a good match with just about anyone. Cade has a lot of potential and that clothesline was a heck of a shot to Hardy. I don’t think this is going to be anything more than another one off match, and if nothing else, Cade and Murdoch need some fresh challengers.

Michelle McCool runs on the beach.

Cruiserweight Title: Chavo Guerrero vs. Funaki vs. Jamie Noble

Chavo is defending. Noble takes Funaki into the corner to start but Chavo breaks it up and beats on Funaki instead. Funaki sends Chavo to the apron but he’s right back in with a sunset flip to Noble, which sends Funaki flying in a release German suplex. This time it’s Noble knocking Chavo outside and sleepering Funaki. Noble is sent outside and Funaki hits a huge dive off the top onto the other two. Back in and Noble loads up the tiger driver but gets sent outside. That leaves Chavo to run back in with the Gory Bomb to finish Funaki and retain.

Rating: C. This was the definition of a quick cruiserweight match with everyone getting in a few near falls but not hitting another gear. The match was good enough to get by, though they’re not exactly hiding how much of a low level house show feeling this whole night is having. It makes sense in this case though, and after Monday, it’s easy to feel a bit for Chavo.

Edge comes in to Vickie Guerrero’s office to find Teddy Long but is told he isn’t here tonight. He isn’t happy with having to face Batista after winning their match at Vengeance, but it’s non-title so everything is cool. Edge isn’t happy, but tonight he’s competing UNDER PROTEST.

Jesse, with Festus, is happy about coming to Smackdown. That look on Festus’ face is that of a happy man too. Festus looks….we’ll go with confused here.

Deuce N Domino vs. Cryme Tyme

Non-title. Cole says to not adjust your set during Cryme Tyme’s entrance, because this isn’t Raw. What kind of adjustment did he think people were making? JTG starts with Domino but Shad comes in off a blind tag to clothesline Domino down. It’s such a clothesline that Domino’s nose is busted as JTG comes back in. Deuce kicks him down and hands it back to Domino for a cobra clutch. That’s broken up in a hurry and the hot tag brings in Shad to clean house. Everything breaks down and JTG is low bridged to the floor, allowing Domino to roll Shad up for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was short and I wonder if that nose injury had something to do with the time. They didn’t have much time to get anywhere but this match sounds a bit intriguing if it was allowed to get some more time. As usual, there aren’t enough teams for two divisions, but one big one could work out well.

Post break, Deuce N Domino are still in the ring for some reason when Cryme Tyme pops up on screen. They’re with Deuce N Domino’s car, which is on its way to the Brisco Brothers Chop Shop. We hear about how much the parts could be worth and they drive away.

Here is MVP to brag about how great he is, including being better than all of the San Antonio Spurs.

MVP vs. Kane

Non-title. MVP grabs an armbar to start and is tossed outside in a hurry. Back in and MVP bails right back to the floor, where he calls for a time out. This time he gets back in and takes out Kane’s knee to no avail so it’s back to the armbar. Cole thinks MVP’s target is the arm, as MVP hammers away on said arm. Kane is right back with some running clotheslines in the corner and the side slam. The top rope clothesline gets two and the chokeslam gives Kane the fast pin.

Rating: C-. These two have fought about a dozen times and it would have been nice to see another of those countouts or DQ’s to keep MVP from getting pinned. This wasn’t the most thrilling match with MVP working on the arm until Kane fought up and did his usual stuff for the win. If nothing else, we might be in for a future title match between the two of them so it could build somewhere.

Quick look at Edge beating Batista to retain the World Title at Vengeance.

Vengeance highlight video.

Eugene, now a superhero, is happy about being here when Great Khali interrupts. Violence is promised for later.

Mickie James is warming up when Victoria comes up. They’re fighting later and Mickie insists that she’s wilder and better than her. Victoria says she’s so wild that she’s going to kiss the next guy who walks through the door. Cue Howard Finkel (no) and Jim Duggan (no) so Victoria tells Mickie to do it. Big Dick Johnson almost comes through but has to tie his shoe. Instead Ron Simmons comes in, gets kissed, and says his catchphrase to Johnson.

Mickie James vs. Victoria

Victoria takes her over with a headlock to start but gets backslided for two. Back up and Mickie hits a running crossbody but gets crotched on top. That lets Victoria tie her in the Tree of Woe for some pulling from the floor before hurting her hand on a slap. The spinning side slam gets two and Mickie gets choked on the rope. Back up and Mickie grabs a hurricanrana out of the corner but the MickieDT is blocked. Victoria misses a moonsault though and Mickie rolls her up for the pin.

Rating: C. Another totally run of the mill match here as they keep things moving on the night. It’s another match between two talented people who can work well together and Mickie winning gives the fans a smile. Much like the tag division, it would make sense to merge the women’s division, but that isn’t happening anytime soon.

Eugene vs. Great Khali

Chop and chokeslam in about forty seconds.

Batista is ready to punish Edge.

Batista vs. Edge

Non-title and Edge bails into the corner to start, allowing him to yell at some fans. Edge kicks away at the knee to take Edge down but gets shoved hard out of the corner for his efforts. There’s a Stretch Muffler to put Edge’s leg in trouble for a change, setting up a half crab. Batista tries the Batista Bomb but has to block a low blow. Edge is sent outside in a heap and we take a break.

Back with Edge hitting a swinging neckbreaker from the ropes and sending Batista outside. Batista gets back inside but gets stomped back to the floor for his efforts. He gets back in again and Edge grabs a cravate to keep him in trouble. That’s broken up so Batista nails him with a spear to put both of them down. Edge’s spear is countered into a spinebuster, with Edge bailing straight to the floor. For some reason Batista goes up top, earning himself a dropkick out of the air. Edge loads up another spear but gets countered into the Batista Bomb for the pin.

Rating: C+. These two work well together, if nothing else out of familiarity, and it worked well for a main event. They had a main event style match with Edge trying everything he could but ultimately falling to the Batista Bomb. It isn’t going to be able to go anywhere because of the Vengeance stipulation but for a glorified house show main event, it worked.

Overall Rating: C. Now this felt like a show that was designed to be filler, which feels a bit strange after an ECW that had a pretty big story development. This was the polar opposite, as you could see this being a regular house show. The matches were all fine as they played it safe, which is fine in this situation. Things can get back to normal next week, but for a complete punt of a show, it could have been a lot worse.

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Vengeance 2007
Date: June 24, 2007
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 15,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Joey Styles, Tazz, John Layfield

It’s time for a Night of Champions (that has a ring to it) as this whole show is about title matches. We have nine title matches and that is almost a guarantee for a couple of changes. One of which will be the ECW World Title, which is vacant coming into the show. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at how everything is about the titles, with all of the titles on the line. As usual, the biggest matches get their own focuses.

Before the first match, Barry Windham and Mike Rotundo are presented at ringside, complete with some clips of their US Express days. That would be a nice touch throughout the night.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Hardys

The Hardys are challenging and Cade starts with Matt. Cade powers Matt into the corner to start but Matt isn’t falling for the offer of a handshake this time around. They run the ropes until Matt hits a crossbody for an early two. Jeff comes in but Murdoch makes a blind tag and grabs a swinging neckbreaker. Back up and the Hardys start taking over on Murdoch’s arm, allowing Jeff to hit the slingshot dropkick in the corner.

The champs are cleared out to the floor but the Hardys aren’t about to let them walk out. Matt chases Murdoch but Cade makes a blind tag and takes out Matt’s knee. Cade and Murdoch start taking turns on said knee (which was banged up pretty badly on Smackdown), including Murdoch’s half crab. That’s finally broken up and Matt gets over to Jeff to pick the pace way up. The sitout gordbuster plants Cade but Murdoch breaks up the Swanton. With the referee getting Matt out of the ring, Cade hits the sitout Rock Bottom spinebuster to retain.

Rating: C. They didn’t exactly tear the house down here as this was more of a house show style match to warm the crowd up. That’s all it needed to be too as you don’t want to wear the crowd out at the start of a show. This is a feud that probably needs to wrap up already, as Cade and Murdoch have beaten them pretty definitively more than once.

King Booker tells Queen Sharmell that this is his night.

Jackass is coming to Summerslam. Do they really have to?

We look at Eddie Guerrero winning the WWE Title, with JBL declaring him the greatest Latino champion ever.

Cruiserweight Title: Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Chavo Guerrero

Chavo is defending and we get a video on Dean Malenko, who is in the back instead of ringside, during his entrance. Yang grabs a quick rollup for one as JBL runs down the history of the Guerrero family. The armbar doesn’t last long for Yang as Chavo sends him outside for a crash.

Back in and Yang kicks Chavo off the top but he’s right back up with a hiptoss into the corner. Chavo starts cranking on both arms but Yang fights up and hits a middle rope dropkick. The high crossbody gets two, only to have Chavo come back with the Three Amigos. Yang shrugs that off and hits a spinwheel kick but misses the moonsault, allowing Chavo to load up the Gory Bomb. That’s countered into a sunset flip for two so Chavo crotches him on top and hits the frog splash to retain.

Rating: C. The match was fairly good as you probably expected but the title is so worthless these days that it doesn’t matter. Yang was a good choice for a challenger as his gimmick makes him stand out, but the build was the usual lame, back and forth stuff that doesn’t make the champion or challenger look good. Again: find a better use for the title or get rid of it.

Commentary talks about Vince McMahon’s limo exploding with JR and King trying to figure out Vince’s mindset, including how he had a bad feeling something was going to happen to him.

Bobby Lashley wishes Vince was here to see him win the WWE Title.

We see some clips of Tazz in the original ECW.

ECW World Title: CM Punk vs. Johnny Nitro

The title is vacant coming in and Nitro is replacing Chris Benoit, who is missing the show due to personal reasons. The Peacock version changes the intro from “CM Punk’s opponent, the man who will be replacing Chris Benoit” to “CM Punk’s opponent” and commentary is muted during Nitro’s entrance. What isn’t edited out is the WE WANT BENOIT chants as they circle each other to start. Punk wastes no time in kicking him out to the floor and it’s time for a chase on the floor.

Back in and Nitro hits the Flying Chuck to take over and some right hands are rained down. We hit the armbar as the fans still want Benoit. A flying armbar takes Punk down again and Nitro grabs a cobra clutch to keep him in trouble. Punk fights up and hits an enziguri, setting up the slugout. Nitro gets up an elbow in the corner and puts his feet on the ropes for two, with the referee catching him. Back up and Punk hits the running knee in the corner into the bulldog for two. Nitro avoids the springboard clothesline though, setting up the hanging flip neckbreaker for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. Nitro has come a long way and is actually feeling like a serious threat to win some fairly big matches. That being said, this was still an upset and Nitro looking surprised was a nice touch. It came out of nowhere and this wasn’t quite the original match, but at least they did rather well with what they had.

We look at Shawn Michaels beating Bret Hart in the Iron Man match to win the WWF Title.

Randy Orton comes up to Mick Foley and threatens to end his career with another concussion. Foley says he had that look on his face and remembers the same look on Orton’s face the last time they fought. Orton points out that he won that match and glaring ensues.

Ricky Steamboat is the feature former Intercontinental Champion.

Intercontinental Title: Umaga vs. Santino Marella

Marella is defending and avoids a charge in the corner to hammer away. That earns him a hard toss down but Umaga misses a headbutt. It doesn’t seem to bother him that much as he kicks Marella’s head off, setting up the nerve hold. Umaga unloads in the corner…and that’s a DQ to retain Santino’s title.

Umaga wrecks Marella, likely setting up a rematch to win the title.

Jackass is coming to Summerslam.

We look at the Vince McMahon investigator saying there was DNA from another well known personality. Possibly more no this tomorrow.

Magnum TA is the special former US Champion.

US Title: Ric Flair vs. MVP

MVP is defending and gets in TA’s face like a true heel should. Flair tries to go over to Magnum but MVP gets in his face. Cole says there’s no respect, but JBL asks if Flair wouldn’t have done the same thing. Point, JBL. They talk trash to start, or at least MVP does, while Flair goes with the WOO. A chop sends MVP outside and Flair gets to strut a bit. Back in and Flair takes him down by the leg and cranks away, setting up some knees to the leg.

MVP’s leg is fine enough to drape Flair over the top and a big boot knocks him outside. Flair gets back in and we hit the chinlock to keep him in trouble. MVP: “GO TO SLEEP! TAKE A NAP!” The rope gets Flair out of trouble and he chops his way out of trouble. Cole talks about great wrestlers who won the US Title and then moved on to become World Champion. JBL is incensed that he is not mentioned on that list, though the fact that he won the World Title first might have something to do with the omission.

Flair chops him so hard that MVP has to look at his chest as Cole (incorrectly) corrects himself by saying JBL belongs on the list as well. MVP takes him down into another chinlock before a fireman’s carry faceplant drops Flair again. Now it’s a reverse chinlock to keep Flair in trouble but he fights up for more chops. The comeback includes a backdrop and right hands in the corner before it’s time to go after the knee. The Figure Four goes on but MVP grabs the rope. Back up and MVP distracts the referee, allowing him to get in a thumb to the eye. That’s enough to set up the Playmaker to retain the title.

Rating: C+. Flair’s formula was on full display here and that’s what it needed to be. Flair can make anything work and he had someone talented in MVP here. While the title change would have been a stretch, Flair is in just the right spot to make it seem like a long shot chance. MVP was rather good here as well, with the trash talk and antics before the match making it better.

Edge interrupts a John Cena promo and says Cena is in trouble tonight. They accuse each other of wanting to take out Vince McMahon. Cue the investigator with some questions for Edge.

Tony Garea and Rick Martel of all people are here as former champions, despite having nothing to do with the titles about to be defended.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Deuce N Domino vs. Sgt. Slaughter/Jimmy Snuka

Slaughter and Snuka are challenging because WWE’s tag divisions really are that weak. Snuka pounds on Domino’s head to start and hands it off to Slaughter for some elbows to the head. A snapmare gets two and a backdrop is good for the same as it’s all old guys to start. The Cobra Clutch goes on until Domino makes the rope so it’s the Slaughter Cannon to drop Domino again.

Slaughter grabs another Cobra Clutch but Deuce gets in a cheap shot to break it up. Deuce comes in and points at Snuka (his dad, not mentioned) before missing a Superfly Splash. Snuka comes in and gets to clean house, including a high crossbody….which Deuce rolls through to retain.

Rating: D+. All things considered, this wasn’t too bad. You’re only going to get so much out of two retired wrestlers in a short match with no heat and they got about as much as they could out of it here. It was a bizarre match, but the Deuce vs. Snuka stuff was at least a cool enough moment.

We recap Edge vs. Batista, in Batista’s last chance to win the World Title. Edge has cheated to beat him twice so now Batista is getting his final shot.

Harley Race is here. I don’t think that needs any further explanation.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Batista

Edge is defending. Batista takes him into the corner to start and hammers away, setting up a shoulder for two. A front facelock slows Edge down until Batista switches to an armbar. Edge fights up with right hands but walks into a powerslam for two. That’s enough to make Edge bail to the floor but he catches Batista with some kicks to the floor on the way back in.

Batista gets sent shoulder first into the post and there’s a baseball slide to put him on the floor again. Back up again and Batista misses a charge to go shoulder first into the post again so Edge grabs the armbar. That’s not enough so Edge turns it into a crucifix to work on both arms at once. Batista fights up but charges into a boot in the corner, only to come back with a heck of a clothesline.

Edge slips out of the Batista Bomb and hits the Impaler for two of his own. A powerslam is countered into the Edge-O-Matic and they’re both down. Back up and Batista cuts off the spear with one of his own…but Edge hits him low for the DQ. Hold on though as here is Teddy Long to say restart the match, and if Edge gets himself disqualified again, he loses the title. Edge hammers away and hits a quick spear for two but Batista clotheslines him outside. Batista follows and hits the Batista Bomb on the floor but takes too long throwing Edge back inside for the countout.

Rating: B-. This felt like a big match and that is how it should have been, though they had a weird ending as they didn’t want Batista to get pinned again so this was about all they could have done. Edge retaining the title is the right call as Batista doesn’t need to get it back anytime soon. Probably the best match on the show so far, but that’s not the biggest accomplishment.

Batista is furious post match and Batista Bombs Edge again.

We look at the Fabulous Moolah, as the Spider Lady, taking the Women’s Title from Wendi Richter in the Original Screwjob.

Women’s Title: Melina vs. Candice Michelle

Candice is challenging and gets kneed in the face for trying a test of strength to start. Melina breaks up a triangle choke over the ropes and sends her outside for the big crash. Back in and Melina rakes the face in the corner, setting up a running knee to the ribs. There’s a faceplant to rock Candice again and we hit the bow and arrow.

Candice fights up and drops her ribs first across the top, setting up a powerslam. A running hair takedown gets two but Melina grabs a neckbreaker for two of her own. Back up and Candice hits a spinning….body attack we’ll say, though I think it was supposed to be a kick, for the pin and the title out of nowhere.

Rating: D+. It was pretty sloppy, but at least they finally had a title change on the show. Candice has been built up for months and while this wasn’t a great match, it was well built up over time. WWE has needed a new singles star in the division and Candice is about as good of a choice as they have.

JBL is recognized, and yes he has his own prepared statement about his greatness, both in and out of the ring.

We recap the Raw World Title match, which is John Cena vs. any former World Champion on the Raw roster. That’s about as easy of an idea as you can get and that’s not a bad thing.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Mick Foley vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Randy Orton vs. King Booker

Cena is defending and it’s one fall to a finish with no countouts/DQ’s. Booker heads to the floor to start for a shoulder rub from Queen Sharmell so Foley hits the Cactus Clothesline to Orton, leaving us with Lashley vs. Cena. That’s broken up by Booker but everyone winds up on the floor, leaving Lashley to hit a big dive (that was scary). Back in and Lashley hits a Rack Attack on Booker but Cena makes the save, setting up the big showdown.

A spinebuster drops Cena and Lashley sends him outside for a ram into the steps. Everyone brawls on the floor, with Booker whipping Foley knees first into the steps. An FU puts Lashley through the announcers’ table (which exploded) but Booker kicks Cena in the face for two. The ax kick gets the same but Cena quickly dispatches an invading Orton and beats up Booker.

Cena loads up the FU, which is cut off by an RKO out of nowhere. Foley is back in to go after Orton, including the double arm DDT for no cover. Instead Foley busts out Mr. Socko, only to get kicked down by Booker. Foley grabs a chair but hits Lashley by mistake, followed by more shots to Cena and Booker. Orton jumps Foley from behind and Punts Foley but gets speared by Lashley. Everyone else fights to the floor and it’s the FU to Foley to retain Cena’s title.

Rating: C. This wasn’t designed to be a classic or anything, but rather having five people out there flying through everything they could to get us to the ending. Cena retaining works of course, as his title reign has gone on so long now that you don’t have him lose in a spot like this. Lashley vs. Cena was set up here too so we might already have a title match for the Great American Bash.

Cena poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. It wasn’t the worst show or anything close to it, but this was also one of the most middle of the road and mediocre collections of matches I’ve seen in a long time. There was one title change (not counting a vacant title win) and almost nothing felt like it was going to matter beyond the next show each. Certainly not a bad show, but nothing is necessary viewing either. At least they have a concept with the Night of Champions though and that’s an easy way to go in the future.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: June 22, 2007
Location: Bobcats Arena, Charlotte, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the go home show for Vengeance: Night Of Champions and the card is set. It isn’t a show that needs a lot of setup, so it’s a good thing that we have one of the biggest storylines in years to help pad things out. Other than that, we likely have Batista/Ric Flair vs. MVP/Edge. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open fast with the Cutting Edge, with Edge saying he had Vince McMahon’s final interview on this very show. There will be a special tribute to Vince on Raw, even if Vince made him face Batista in a Last Chance match at Vengeance. For now though, let’s bring out someone brand new to the show, and someone you wouldn’t expect as a suspect: Torrie Wilson.

Torrie isn’t sure what Edge is talking about, but Edge accuses her of being scored by Vince and put into a match with Carlito. Edge sees one liar in the ring but here is MVP to cut them off. MVP doesn’t think Torrie should have to go through this…because she should be going through a lie detector test! Cue Ric Flair to go after both of them but the beatdown is on. Batista runs in for the save, setting up a likely tag team main event.

Post break, Teddy Long and Vickie Guerrero have made the tag match.

Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore vs. Chavo Guerrero/Jamie Noble

Not this tag match. Noble headscissors Moore down to start and grabs a rather early chinlock. That’s broken up so Noble hits a running shoulder before it’s off to Chavo. A dropkick gives Moore two and it’s off to Yang, who gets a bit of a response (which may be canned but it’s better than nothing). Noble comes back in and gets caught in a jumping hurricanrana, only to stomp Yang down without much trouble.

Chavo comes in and stomps away before it’s right back to Noble to work on the arm. Yang fights up but Chavo avoids a charge to send Yang’s shoulder into the post. That doesn’t stop Yang from hitting a dropkick though and the hot tag brings in Moore. House is cleaned in a hurry and Chavo is dropped face first onto the buckle. Yang hits a big dive onto Noble but Chavo Gory Bombs Moore for the pin.

Rating: C. It’s the least valuable title this side of the Texas Hardcore Title but there is something about putting four high fliers out there and letting them go for a few minutes. Chavo needed the win to get him back on track before the title match so at least there is a bit more set up for Sunday. Now just do something with the title already.

Maryse welcomes us back to the show.

Mark Henry vs. Funaki

Henry throws him around a few times to start as commentary raves over the power. The bearhug goes on and Funaki is out in a hurry.

We see more of the same clips of Vince’s explosion and people talking about it that we’ve seen for a week and a half now.

Vickie Guerrero comes in to see Teddy Long because she has set up all of the travel for everyone to go to Raw next week. Long is happy but seems to have some special plans for himself and Kristal. Cue Kristal, and Long seems nervous about something he has planned in public tonight, with Kristal joining him in the ring.

Finlay vs. Matt Hardy

They take turns powering the other into the corner to start until Finlay hits him in the face. Matt sweeps the leg and grabs a headlock on the mat so Finlay rips at his face. A belly to back suplex has some more success at getting Finlay out of trouble and we hit the chinlock. That’s eventually broken up and Matt sends him face first into the corner over and over.

They head outside where Finlay is sent into the barricade, which draws out Hornswoggle from under the ring. The distraction lets Finlay run Matt over and we take a break. Back with Finlay pulling him down by the hair and going back to the chinlock. With that broken up, Finlay’s Vader Bomb hits raised boot but Finlay goes after the knee. Some kicks to the knee set up a leglock, followed by a kneeling half crab.

Hardy makes the rope so Finlay takes him outside and drops him knee first onto the steps. Back in and Finlay rips the knee brace off and sits on the leg again. Finlay grabs the leg but gets caught with an enziguri to start the comeback. The Side Effect gives Matt two and he manages the middle rope elbow to the back. Hornswoggle offers a distraction but Matt shrugs off the Shillelagh shot and hits the Twist of Fate for the pin.

Rating: B-. This got some serious time and it’s a good sign to see Matt pick up this kind of a win. Matt fought through an injury and interference to win clean. That’s the kind of a win that can help build someone up and it came over someone with enough credibility. It helps to have people like this who can eat up a lot of time and have a rather effective match and they did so here.

We look at Stephanie McMahon’s appearance on Raw, where she remembered her dad and swore vengeance for whoever blew him up.

Here are Teddy Long and Kristal for a chat in the ring. Long says he didn’t know what it meant to be happy before he met her. He has a question for her and proposes, but she starts crying and walks away without saying anything.

Chris Masters vs. Danny Shanley

We get a Masterlock highlight reel before the match, which is pretty much all of Masters’ career. Shanley can’t Irish whip him to start so Masters hits a hard clothesline. Masters snaps him throat first across the top and starts pulling on Shanley’s head. A slam plants Shanley again and we hit the neck crank. Masters switches up to the Masterlock for the easy win.

Rating: D. Yeah it was a squash and yeah it played to Masters’ strengths, but it was the same Masters that we have seen since he debuted. That’s why his career stalled: he looked great and had a good full nelson, but what else did he have? There was little more than a physique and eventually you need something more than that to have a successful career.

In Memory of Sherri Martel. How nice of them to get to this almost three fourths of the way through the show.

Teddy Long finds Kristal in the back and she’s still in tears. He apologizes and she puts the ring on to accept. Well that was anti-climatic.

We run down the Vengeance card.

We get a press conference from the lead investigator in the Vince McMahon case. They have found DNA from Vince, the limo driver and one more well known (and unnamed) personality. This apparently warranted a full press conference (minus press).

Michelle McCool…plays tennis? She gets to take her aggression out on tennis balls and wear these cute outfits (her words). Not their most subtle work here.

Ric Flair/Batista vs. MVP/Edge

Flair gets the big hometown entrance, which is rather well received, and Little Naitch gets to hold the ropes for him. Edge’s pyro leaves the arena a bit smoky to start so Flair chops him in the corner for lowering the air quality. JBL says you don’t want to wrestle someone in their hometown, showing that JBL has no idea how WWE works. Flair cranks on the arm so it’s off to Batista, who gets to run over MVP.

With MVP down, Flair comes in to drop the elbow for two and it’s right back to Batista. MVP kicks Batista in the face and gets plowed over for his efforts as we take a break. Back with Edge stomping on Batista and grabbing a waistlock. MVP’s crossface forearms get two but Batista catches him in the swinging Boss Man Slam. The tag brings in Flair (POP) and house is cleaned, only to have Edge come in with a quick spear to cut him down. Batista makes the save and it’s Flair getting stomped this time.

MVP grabs a seated abdominal stretch but Flair fights up and hits a chop. JBL: “That’s like getting hit with a frying pan.” How many times has he been hit with a frying pan? MVP kicks Flair in the head to cut him off and Edge comes back in to talk a lot of trash. A backdrop gets two as Batista is pacing on the apron. MVP misses a big running boot in the corner though and Flair goes for the leg, allowing the hot tag to Batista. Everything breaks down and Batista counters Edge’s spear into a spinebuster. The Batista Bomb finishes Edge off.

Rating: B. This was good and egads it was nice to not see the hometown star get crushed to end a show. Flair didn’t need to get the fall here because having him get to celebrate to end the show was more than enough. Batista gets some momentum before the title match and Flair gets to pose. That’s how this should have gone and it was a good match too.

Overall Rating: B. Rather strong show here, with the only thing close to bad being a Chris Masters squash. Other than that, it was a pair of good, long matches and a way to make me want to see both Vengeance and Monday’s big show. I liked this one a lot and it’s one of the better TV shows WWE has had in a long time. Nice job.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: June 15, 2007
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the first Smackdown after the Draft, but more importantly it is the first one after Vince McMahon lost to a car bomb. That was the dominant story on ECW and it is likely going to be the case again this week. There are some new wrestlers to get to meet though and that needs to be done well. Let’s get to it.

Here is the Draft if you need a recap.

We get a parental discretion advised notice due to issues involving Vince McMahon’s death. That’s a very specific reason.

Opening sequence.

We open with a long recap of Vince McMahon’s bad Monday, though the explosion isn’t shown. Yet.

The Smackdown roster (or at least most of it) is on the stage for the ten bell salute.

Earlier this week, a lawyer gave a statement at WWE Headquarters, saying federal officials are investigating what happened, but the show will go on.

Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Deuce N Domino

Non-title and it’s always a good idea to start a NEW era with a match that has been done to death. Kendrick and Domino lock up to start but London comes in for a double dropkick. Kendrick gets in a few shots to the face but gets low bridged to the floor as commentary talks about the greatness that was Vince McMahon. Back in and Deuce cranks on Kendrick’s arms but Kendrick enziguris his way to freedom. London comes back in for some kicks to the face as everything breaks down. With Kendrick and Domino on the floor, Crack Em In Da Mouth finishes London.

Rating: C. Yes, again. I’m not sure how they have no fresh tag matches after the Draft but somehow here we are again with these same teams with the same results. Not a bad match of course as these teams know each other well, but can we please never see these teams fight again? You need more than two teams for a division, and you wouldn’t guess that at the moment.

We get some sitdown interviews about Vince, starting with William Regal talking about how much he enjoyed being inducted into Vince’s special club. And something about Al Snow and clowns.

Teddy Long talks about how he had been around wrestling for fourteen years before he came to WWE and Vince gave him his first real chance to show him what he can do. The photos on his office wall are of Vince McMahon and Martin Luther King. Vince made it happen and King made it possible.

Matt Hardy vs. William Regal

The rather popular Hardy headlock takeovers him to start and grinds away for a bit. They fight over a top wristlock as JBL goes on about Torrie Wilson coming to Smackdown in the Draft. It’s too early for the Twist of Fate though and Regal hits Hardy in the face to take over. They head outside where Regal gets in a few shots to take over, meaning it’s time to stomp away back inside.

Regal starts tying up the limbs in the middle of the ring before switching to a simple kick to the back. Hardy flips out of a double arm crank and the Side Effect connects for two. Regal is right back with a belly to back suplex into a tiger driver for two. Not that it matters as Hardy gets a boot up in the corner and hits the Twist of Fate for the pin.

Rating: C+. This isn’t a match you see very often and they had a pretty solid match. I’m still not sure why we’re watching two people who were on Smackdown before the Draft rather than showcasing some of their new acquisitions, but at least it was a fresh pairing. Matt continues to seem to be someone WWE wants to push on his own, though beating Regal isn’t the fast track to the main event.

Jillian Hall is devastated at being there in person to see Vince’s final moments.

We see footage from after Raw, with firemen putting out the limo fire.

JBL and Cole talk about what could have caused the explosion, which is under investigation.

Chavo Guerrero talks about how Vince was a jerk but that is what you have to do to be successful in wrestling.

MVP vs. Batista

Non-title. In the back, Ric Flair, who is challenging MVP at Vengeance, wishes Batista luck in a reunion. MVP has to dodge a few leg dives to start but Batista blocks MVP’s own attempt. A big shove sends MVP outside where he wants a twenty second timeout. Back in and Batista hits some Razor Ramon shoulder blocks while holding MVP’s arm, sending MVP straight to the ropes. They talk trash to each other until MVP hits him in the face to take over.

MVP gets knocked outside again but this time Batista follows, only to miss a charge into the steps. A posting and whip into the barricade rock Batista again and we hit the chinlock back inside. Batista powers up and blasts MVP with a clothesline for a breather. Cole: “Can you imagine what it feels like to be hit by a cannonball?” JBL: “I know what it’s like to be hit by Batista!” A side slam gives Batista two but MVP gets in a shot of his own. The spear cuts MVP off though and the Batista Bomb gives Batista the pin.

Rating: B-. There’s a double shot for the show: a champion gets pinned clean and it’s a match we saw last week, before the Draft. It’s kind of amazing to see how inconsequential the Draft has been, as you would think this was any given episode without something special going on. I know the Vince angle changed things, but can they at least play with some of their new toys?

Sgt. Slaughter talks about how the WWE has lost its commanding officer. Vince was no ordinary general because he was on the battlefield with them and jumped in the foxhole with them. Everyone owes Vince a thank you and Slaughter promises to keep fighting for WWE and Vince’s American way.

We see some footage of the charred and destroyed limo.

Lead investigator Daniel Beck isn’t answering questions at this time.

Edge isn’t sure where he goes from here after everything has changed. He isn’t sure who becomes the rudder or the foundation around here and maybe it’s him.

Kristal talks about how her last interaction with Vince was a little strange as he went off the deep end. He’ll be missed.

Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Daivari vs. Jamie Noble vs. Shannon Moore

For the Cruiserweight Title shot at Vengeance, champion Chavo Guerrero is at ringside and Moore is looking normal. The four of them pair off to start until Noble and Yang are left alone in the ring. Yang is sent outside though and it’s Noble coming in to beat on Moore. Noble dives onto Daivari but Yang dives onto all of them for the big crash. Back in and the Tower of Doom puts everyone but Daivari down so he comes in for some near falls. Moore and Noble are sent outside, leaving Yang to moonsault press Daivari for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: C. They kept this fast and that’s all they needed to do. Yang had more or less become the #1 contender weeks ago and now he is officially getting the title shot. There was little need to do more than that and they got in and out in a hurry. Yang vs. Guerrero isn’t going to light the world on fire but at least they have a bit of a history set up.

Edge vs. Ric Flair

Non-title. Feeling out process to start and Flair slicks the hair back with a WOO. Edge grabs a headlock takeover but gets rolled up, sending him bailing to the ropes. Back up and Edge slaps him in the face in the corner, meaning it’s time to get serious. There’s a hiptoss to send Edge outside as commentary goes into a discussion of the New York Yankees. Flair chops him down but the threat of the Figure Four sends Edge bailing to the rope.

Some more chops set up a half crab of all things, with Flair eventually laying back onto the mat to pull on it even more. Another Figure Four attempt is broken up and they head outside, where Edge scores with a backdrop. We take a break and come back with Edge unloading in the corner, setting up a suplex for two. Edge chokes away but Flair kicks him in the knee, which only just annoys Flair more. An enziguri cuts Flair off again so Edge goes up, only to get chopped out of the air. Now it’s time to go after the knee again and this time the Figure Four has Edge in more trouble…and here is MVP for the DQ.

Rating: C+. This was a perfectly good Flair formula match as he went after the leg, got in trouble, then went back after the leg again before we got to the ending. I can go with MVP interfering to cost Flair the match as Edge can escape while keeping some dignity. Good enough main event and at least they finally had one of the new stars included.

Post match the double beatdown is on but Batista runs in for the save. Batista gets rid of MVP but Edge hits the spear down and runs to end the show. There’s your tag match for next week.

Overall Rating: C. The Vince stuff is the kind of a story that is going to change everything but it made this show more of a skippable week than anything else. That’s kind of annoying when they had such a huge story on Monday, but I’m not sure how else they could have done this. The biggest change they needed to make was having more of the new Smackdown stars included, but for some reason we only had Flair around, which made for a bit of a less than inspiring show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: June 4, 2007
Location: St. Pete Times Forum, Tampa, Florida
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with One Night Stand and on the way to the Draft, followed by Vengeance. That could make for an interesting few weeks, but I don’t think it’s going to make for a great time this week. This very well could be a lame duck show, which is not something WWE tends to do well. Let’s get to it.

Here is One Night Stand if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s John Cena to get things going. Cena listens to the mixed reaction and says this is what he loves about WWE. He thanks everyone who came to the show tonight, from the fat guy booing up there to the hot chick in the top two sizes too small (Cena: “THANK YOU FOR COMING TONIGHT!”). Cena thinks it’s a little bit louder this week though because after six weeks of getting beaten up, the 7’5 giant has been told FU.

It’s more of the same around here, because he thinks he’s in the clear and now they’re springing the Draft on him. He has been drafted before so this might be the last time he is in the ring as part of Raw. If that’s the case, then he’s going to take all of this in one more time and say THE CHAMP IS….being cut off by Vince McMahon, who is rather banged up.

Vince can barely stand up or talk but he thinks Cena is out here to embarrass him for no longer being a World Champion. That’s not going to happen because Vince isn’t going to bend, bow or break. His name is Vincent Kennedy….and Cena turns his back on him. Cena says he’s going to tell himself that Vince is just beat up and delusional. Vince tries to say his name again but Cena turns his back again, saying the only thing keeping Vince alive is his patience.

Cena tells Vince to get it out of his system because he is out of his frigging mind. Vince: “YOU’RE A LIAR!” He explains that he hasn’t lost a thing…except for a World Title. That’s what Cena is going to do tonight when he defends the title against Umaga and Great Khali. Cena looks crushed as Vince is nearly beaming. This was a weird segment as Vince went fully nuts almost overnight and Cena got fed up with him in a hurry. It feels like something that should have come after a few weeks, not a day after Vince lost the title.

Candice Michelle/Cryme Tyme vs. Johnny Nitro/Kenny Dykstra/Melina

Michelle is in full Cryme Tyme gear and Lawler isn’t sure what to think about this one. Dykstra is now carrying a mirror but Melina seems to get more use out of it. The women almost get in a fight before the bell but it’s JTG punching Dykstra in the face to start. Nitro gets in a shot so Dykstra can take over, allowing Nitro to flip JTG into the corner for two. The chinlock goes on for a bit but JTG fights up and brings in Shad to clean house. Everything breaks down and the G9 finishes Nitro.

Rating: D+. Pretty standard six person tag here, which seemed to be more about getting Candice in a different outfit. I’m glad to see Cryme Tyme getting another chance though as they definitely stand out and their push just stopped a few months ago. The division needs some fresh blood so maybe they can get another shot.

Maria likes the Intercontinental Title, because it’s shiny like her dress. Vince McMahon (still smiling weirdly) comes up and says he used to have one of those titles. Maria starts to say something but gets told to shut up. Santino says you can’t talk to a woman like that so Vince makes a title match right now. He throws in a slap to the face and tells Santino to “get” about ten times.

Intercontinental Title: Santino Marella vs. Chris Masters

Santino is defending and kicks at the leg to start. Masters grabs the rope to avoid a dropkick though and it’s time to talk about the Draft. A running leg shot to the back of the neck against the ropes vies Masters two and we hit the neck crank. That’s broken up and an STO gives Marella two. The Masterlock is blocked and Santino flips him over, setting up something close to an Oklahoma roll for the pin.

Rating: D+. These two have fought a few times now and I don’t know why there is no one else for Santino to face. The matches aren’t exactly good, but that is partially because every Masters match is about trying the Masterlock and nothing else. Nothing to see here, but at least they kept it short.

The Hardys are banged up when Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch come in to ask for a title shot, albeit when the Hardys are healthy. That’s cool with the Hardys, but Vince McMahon comes up, mocks them for being southern, and makes the title match for tonight. Cade and Murdoch don’t look happy with the news.

Vince keeps walking and runs into Ric Flair and Torrie Wilson. Torrie looks scared, so Vince says he can’t stand a degenerate hanging out with a woman half his age. For some reason, Torrie thinks it’s a good time to bring up the time Linda McMahon caught Vince with Torrie and his pants around his ankles. That earns Torrie a match with Carlito. Torrie leaves and Flair tells Vince to get over a single loss. Vince is sick of hearing the WOOing, but it makes Flair a legend, so he can face the Legend Killer Randy Orton. This was much more deranged crazy Vince and that’s a good thing.

Randy Orton vs. Ric Flair

Flair (in the weird black boots/red trunks combination) strikes away to start and unloads with right hands in the corner. Orton is back with a powerslam and loads up the RKO but we take a break. Back with Flair putting on the Figure Four but Orton makes the rope in a hurry. The backbreaker drops Flair and Orton gets in the circle stomp. Orton drops the knee but it bangs up his knee again so we hit the chinlock to let him rest it a bit. The comeback doesn’t last long as Flair walks into a dropkick.

We hit the chinlock again but this time Flair suplexes his way to freedom. Apparently Orton doesn’t like being suplexed so he punches Flair down in the corner, earning a poke to the eye. Orton hits a running corner clothesline to give us a Flair Flop but Flair is back up with an elbow to the face. A suplex drops Flair on the floor this time and JR quotes Foreigner to talk about how cold Orton is. Back in and Orton hits the Punt but Flair pulls himself up again…so the RKO can finish him off.

Rating: B-. If you want to get a villain over, there are few better choices that having him destroy Flair. Orton is feeling more and more like a predator every time he is in the ring as of late and adding another body to the list is going to make things even better. You can feel the huge match with Cena coming and they’re making Orton feel special on the way there.

Post match Orton loads up another Punk but the referee threatens him away.

Carlito vs. Torrie Wilson

Torrie has a bad leg so Carlito offers to let her walk away. Torrie tries and gets caught with the Backstabber for the pin in less than a minute. That’s all it needed to be.

Tag Team Titles: Hardys vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

The banged up Hardys are defending and we get a handshake to start. Matt and Cade go to the mat to start for an exchange of arm cranking. Cade elbows him in the face for two and it’s off to Murdoch to stay on the arm. Matt gets over for the tag to Jeff to pick up the pace, including Poetry In Motion with Cade having to make the save. Jeff dives over the top onto Murdoch but bangs up his knee in the process.

We take a break and come back with Cade slamming Matt down and dropping a knee to the back. The sitout spinebuster gives Cade two more and it’s Murdoch grabbing a waistlock. Somehow Matt twists that around and grabs a reverse DDT, allowing the tag off to Jeff, who can barely walk. Jeff cleans house anyway but gets caught going up top. Matt catches Cade with the Twist of Fate but Jeff misses the Swanton, allowing Cade to get the pin. Ignore Murdoch shoving Jeff’s foot off the rope.

Rating: C+. The ending leaves a door open for later if that’s where they want to go, but at least they finally changed the titles. There wasn’t much left for these guys to do and they have an out with the Hardys being injured. Cade and Murdoch getting another run with the belts is not a bad thing either, as the Hardys never felt like anything more than transitional champions.

Post match Matt asks if Cade saw the foot on the ropes….and the Hardys get laid out with belt shots to the face. As they should have.

Coach is in Vince McMahon’s office but Vince isn’t happy. Vince has an ominous feeling, but he also has an idea for next week. Coach seems to already know what that is and Vince tells him to go inform the people.

Post break here is Coach to say that next week will be the Draft, but also Vince McMahon Appreciation Night.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Umaga vs. Great Khali

Cena is defending and charges right into a clothesline from Khali. Umaga heads outside to grab a chair as Khali chokes Cena in the corner and kicks him to the floor. A hard whip sends Cena into the steps but Umaga throws the steps at Khali’s face (DANG) for a knockdown. Back in and Umaga blasts Cena with a clothesline of his own but Cena avoids a sitdown splash.

Umaga knocks him down again and hits a springboard sitdown splash to the chest. Another only lands on raised knees but Umaga is fine enough to plant Cena again. Khali comes back in though and we get the battle of the monsters for quite the visual. I’m not sure what quite, but quite.

They slug it out until Khali hits something resembling a spinning kick to the face and then elbows Cena as he tries to come back in. There’s the legdrop for two on Cena and the big chop follows but Umaga breaks up the double arm chokeslam. Khali loads up the chokeslam on Umaga but gets Samoan Spiked. Cena manages to knock Umaga outside and hit the FU on Khali to retain out of nowhere.

Rating: C. They did what they could here but this was all about having Cena survive against impossible odds. That’s kind of what Cena does every time, though you don’t often see Khali have steps thrown at his face. That alone was good enough to catch your attention and the rest of the match went as well as it could have gone given the circumstances.

Cena poses to end the show, though commentary knows that Vince is going to be angry.

Overall Rating: C. I liked the show well enough, even with how fast Vince went nuts over losing the title. It seemed like a vanity deal for him and now he’s acting like it meant more than the World Title did to HHH five years ago. The good thing is that tied the show together and what we got worked out fairly well. The show takes awhile to get going but it took off a lot more by the end. Now forget about almost all of that, because it’s time for the Draft.

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Survivor Series 1992
Date: November 25, 1992
Location: Richfield Coliseum, Richfield, Ohio
Attendance: 17,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

Ok so for once we really do have a ton of changes here. For one thing, this is far closer to a standard PPV. There’s one Survivor Series match which is kind of one I guess, but it’s two tag teams and if one member is eliminated both members are gone so it’s kind of a Survivor Series match but not really. The other huge difference here is that there’s no Hogan or Warrior. Warrior is on the box of the tape, but he wasn’t on the show.

He was supposed to be in half of the double main event, a tag match with Savage against Razor Ramon and Flair. However, he bailed a week before the show and the WWF had to use Mr. Perfect in what I thought was a great angle that I’ll get to later. Other than that, your main event is Bret vs. Shawn. This was a real gamble for Vince as we had never tried having two standard wrestlers go at it in a major show’s main event.

There’s no big muscle head to go out and have a match, but Vince put his faith in what he had left and to me, it worked. Other than that, this isn’t going to look like the Survivor Series. With what’s been happening lately at this show, it can’t be worse, so let’s see how this is.

We open with the Reverend Slick saying…ummm…I have no idea what he’s talking about. I think it was something about spreading light. Yeah this was a strange character but he was very energetic so I can’t complain. Vince and Bobby go over the double main event and we’re ready to go.

Headshrinkers vs. High Energy

High Energy is Koko B. Ware and Owen Hart in really bright and baggy neon pants and suspenders. Headshrinkers are two Samoans that are monsters. Guess what this is. Yep, it’s a squash, however, oddly enough the Headshrinkers are in the ring before High Energy is introduced so they look like the jobbers. That’s just odd. I’ve always been a mark for the Headshrinkers so if nothing else I’ll probably like this match.

Fatu is more commonly known as Rikishi. Vince is needling Bobby about Perfect’s face turn which is just great. How in the world is Koko a Hall of Fame member? That just boggles my mind every time I think about it. Vince says that High Energy has been very successful so far. That’s nonsense but oh well. Heenan asks Vince if the Headshrinkers will be at his house for Thanksgiving. That’s an amusing thought and oddly enough I think Vince would have fun with it.

After Koko gets the tar beaten out of him for a good while, he makes the hot tag to the most talented guy in the match, Owen. Owen comes in and beats up the Headshrinkers for a bit, but the overall mass of the fat one is too much for Owen and he’s pinned after a big splash from the top.

This was fairly long at about seven and a half minutes but it was really just an extended squash. Post match Heenan uses his Brain Scan, a telestrator, the white pen thing on the screen, to show how Owen is a turkey. In other words, he draws pictures with it.

Rating: C+. It wasn’t bad, but it was a nice breath of air compared to most Survivor Series matches. It was a standard tag team squash, which isn’t something that you see very often anymore, mainly because the tag team division sucks. Anyway, this was at least ok. It’s not great but it’s not bad. It’s certainly acceptable and a fine choice to open the show.

Alfred Hayes is with Boss Man who says he’s going to beat Nailz.

Sean Mooney says that viewer discretion is advised for the following match. Now there’s something you don’t see every day. Nailz implies Boss Man was abusive and that he’s been waiting for this. He says he’s a good climber, so does that mean he’s an escaped convict? Yeah that’s just kind of stupid.

Boss Man cuts a promo…again. He says the exact same thing. I think only one was shown on the live broadcast, but I really don’t get why they did two in a row like this. The second is better.

Nightstick on a Pole: Big Boss Man vs. Nailz

During that second promo, Boss Man runs off mid sentence to catch Nailz who is trying to get the stick early. That at least makes sense. Yep it’s a big brawl. That’s all this was supposed to be. Boss Man was more or less worthless at this point, but Nailz was going to be given the Undertaker of all people next, as he had several house show matches followed by being on the cover of the WWF Magazine. However, after nearly murdering Vince McMahon (literally) he was fired.

As you would expect, both guys go for the post but neither can get it. The pole is too short though and all you have to do is stand on the top rope. Of course since this is a pole match and all they have to do is standard climbing, it takes 20 seconds to get up there. Nailz at least has the psychology of it right as he uses mainly chokes and punches. He’s not supposed to be a polished wrestler and he’s not wrestling like one.

He’s a street fighter and he’s acting like one. At least he’s smart enough to do that. This is just a sloppy match all around. They’re worn out after about three minutes with no big bumps yet. The way Bobby and Vince are talking about it you would think this was a Hell in a Cell match or something. See, if I were in this match, I’d let the other guy get the stick and then jump him on the way down, but then again I’m not a professional.

Boss Man gets the stick and beats Nailz with it, but a shot to the head isn’t enough to keep him down apparently. Nailz gets it and hits Boss Man in the side with it. He then waits for him to get up, misses a shot, gets punched twice, whipped in and the Boss Man Slam ends it. Yep that’s it. This was a waste of time.

Rating: D+. This was just awful. There was no point at all to it and it should have been a standard match instead of this mess. The nightstick served next to no purpose but of course it looked like it was awesome. It just wasn’t entertaining at all and ended without the stick being a factor. Just make it a one on one next time people.

Nailz, while choking Mooney, says that was more injustice.

Tatanka is in the back with Alfred Hayes. He says that tonight he’ll get back his eagle feathers and honor his people. Well at least it’s borderline original.

Gene is with Flair and Razor. Gene talks about how there was a big swerve going on and how Perfect is the new partner. We go to the tape of Prime Time Wrestling where Perfect turned. This was just after Warrior had left and Savage was on satellite from Florida. He says that his partner could be perfect for him.

The design of the show was a round table with Vince, Hillbilly Jim, Jim Duggan, Heenan and Perfect there discussing various things in the company and talking about matches that were shown. That’s actually a pretty cool idea when you think about it. Anyway, Vince says do you mean Mr. Perfect and Savage says he does. Heenan speaks for Perfect, saying that they both take orders from Flair and that Perfect isn’t wrestling anywhere.

Perfect takes offense to this and says that he’s tired of being ordered around before accepting. Heenan slaps him which causes Perfect to grab him by the tie and pour water over him, saying that Flair is afraid of him. We cut back to Flair, who is TICKED over this. He talks to Perfect, saying that he had it all and is throwing it away.

There’s a hint of fear in his voice which is just great as this is a heck of a promo. Ramon says that his team will win. He really wasn’t that good yet and it showed in his promos. He would get a lot better. The partnership here was always kind of a weird one as it was never really explained.

Tatanka vs. Rick Martel

This is happening because Martel stole some feathers from Tatanka which were important. Well it’s better than nothing I guess. This is a bit of a departure from the Survivor Series idea wouldn’t you say? Heenan goes on a huge rant about life in general, mainly focused on Perfect. Martel chokes and Heenan shouts out that HE HAS TIL FIVE!

Sgt. Slaughter is now an enforcer of rules or something like that. A front facelock by Martel gets him nowhere. Scratch that as it gets him suplexed. Ok so it failed him once so now we go right back to it. Doink is here now as he has only been here for about five weeks now. Amazingly enough the facelock leads to ANOTHER suplex. That’s just appropriate.

Doink makes a balloon animal for a kid and steals it. That’s straight up awesome. Martel uses the hold AGAIN. Dude three times with the same hold in 3 minutes? Seriously? Are you that bored? A cop shows up in the front row and takes a sign as we cut away. It probably said WCW or something like that, making that person EVIL!

Martel hits the post with his shoulder so the stereotype goes after it, showing some intelligence. Backslide gets two which of course Vince swears is a pin. Doink continues to be a big focus here but I don’t think anything ever came of his involvement here. How weird is it to think that Vince has been WWF Champion but neither of these guys were?

Martel works on the back now as Tatanka is in trouble. Decent little match so far if nothing else. Double axe off the middle rope eats fist though and here comes the warpath thing. Top rope chop hits Martel and he’s in big trouble. Samoan drop ends it and Tatanka gets the feathers back. Doink pops the kids’ balloons just to be evil.

Rating: C-. This was fine for what it was: a midcard match that nothing ever really came of. It was the end to this mini-feud and nothing else ever came of it. Both guys were at least ok in the ring and it went fine I guess. Nothing ever came of the Doink thing though, which means it was indeed, completely pointless, for him to be out there at the end.

We go to Mooney who is with Savage and Perfect, who say that they’re a strange team but they respect each other. In some weird way, this match actually looks decent enough I guess. Perfect gives a WOO at the end which ticks Bobby off during the intros.

Razor Ramon/Ric Flair vs. Mr. Perfect/Randy Savage

The faces get a HUGE pop, especially Savage. How in the world did Vince not push him as top face once Hulk left? I’ll never get that for the life of me. He had everything: the look, the ability, the resume, yet for no apparent reason he was put behind the announce desk. That just doesn’t make sense to me. Heenan is so angry about this match that it’s hilarious. We start with Perfect against Ramon which gets yet another pop.

This AWA reunion begins with Perfect being all over the place and outmaneuvering Razor. The forgotten aspect is that these two are former AWA World Tag Team Champions. Perfect nails Flair and we get the big showdown. Savage and Flair is one of the best feuds ever. Both guys can go in the ring and it offered proof that the company could work without the big orange man to help them out. The heels take over now as Ramon puts on an abdominal stretch.

Vince has apparently been hanging out with Monsoon too much as he criticizes it for a lack of the hook of the toe. Has anyone ever done that hold properly? The heels are dominating Savage now, which makes sense as Perfect hasn’t been around for about a year now so it makes sense that he’s on the apron for a lot of the match. As Savage is being beaten on, Perfect turns to walk away. This makes limited sense as there’s no point to it really.

The heels do the smart thing and point Savage’s face at Perfect leaving, which would I guess work to break his spirit a bit. See, that’s why Flair is better than most wrestlers: he had the mental aspect of wrestling down. That’s a critical key to a wrestler that most people don’t have. Heenan ranting about Perfect is flat out awesome. This has been a pretty good match so far. It’s not great, but it’s what you would expect from a main event level tag match I suppose.

Razor hits a chokeslam which doesn’t have a name yet. Heenan says that he’s seen Ramon do that to the people on the streets of Miami. What area of Miami is Ramon from? I’ve never been there but apparently 6’6 men chokeslam you on the cement there. That’s fairly cool. Also, as Ramon goes for the cover and Perfect looks for the save, Bobby yells “GET OUT OF THE RING YOU LOWLIFE!”

That’s just an awesome line if there ever was one. He sounds so ticked off which is all you can ask for here. Flair goes to the top, and I’ll give you two guesses as to what happens. Actually you would be wrong because Savage does something different here. He climbs to the middle rope before going back to the bottom rope to slam him. That wouldn’t really add anything to the move I don’t think, but whatever, it looked cool.

This lets Savage get the hot tag to Perfect who proceeds to clean house. It’s chair time as Savage gets taken out by a shot from Flair. The referee gets bumped and apparently the other one was just behind the curtain because he’s out there in like 4 seconds. Perfect and Ramon are going at it and Razor sets for the Edge. Perfect gets a sweet counter by kicking off the top rope and backdropping Ramon.

He hits the Perfectplex but only gets two because of Flair. He hits another on Flair but no pin again with Razor making the save. Since both guys are in the ring forever, we get the DQ in a cheap ending. Flair puts him in the figure four and eventually Savage makes the save with a chair as the faces win. The face celebration takes way too long as they’re channeling Hogan I guess.

Rating: B. The ending hurts it a bit, but this was solid. It was a good tag match and while it didn’t have a definitive ending, it might be better that it didn’t here. Perfect looked good while Ramon looked pretty good as well. This was what you would expect from these four in this kind of a match. It went fine though, and I can’t really complain about anything other than the ending I guess. Bobby’s rants are great here.

Flair and Ramon are angry of course and they vow revenge.

Yokozuna vs. Virgil

This was the not incredibly fat Yoko, as he’s only 505 at this point and the monster that we know him as. He’s billed from Polynesia here which is just odd in all respects. We get a segment from earlier in the day where Hayes goes to Yoko’s room for an interview but Yoko is getting a massage. Fuji offers to let Alfred get a massage. He’s liking it as Fuji throws him out. Vince tries to make this match sound good. That’s just funny.

Despite being Polynesian apparently, Fuji has the Japanese flag. Vince says he hasn’t been tested yet. Apparently that’s going to be the case after this match too. Naturally, Virgil really can’t do much here. It’s basic jobber offense with punches and dropkicks that fail more and more every time. Yoko hits a sweet kick to the face that knocks him down with ease. He crushes him with a sweet spinning rock bottom suplex.

The squashing continues as Virgil tries to out move him. Vince says he’s trying to stay away from him as he’s running right at him. I love that classic Vince commentary. In a spot I’ve always wanted to see, Virgil goes for a school boy and Yoko just sits on him. That’s as simple as you could get and it worked perfectly. Within a few seconds the Banzai ends this one.

Rating: C. It’s a squash so I guess we’ll call it average. Virgil of course stood no chance here and it was nothing more than a way to get Yoko over and there’s nothing at all wrong with doing that here. It gave him a win over a somewhat big name and Virgil gets to eat tonight, so things are fine here. It was short, under four minutes that is, so what can I really complain about?

We go to the back with Savage and Perfect who say that was great. They say Ramon and Flair are the turkeys.

Nasty Boys/Natural Disasters vs. Money Inc./Beverly Brothers

This is the elimination tag I was talking about earlier. Money Inc. are the tag champions here and are in the middle of a feud with the Nastys that I don’t remember in the slightest. DiBiase is wearing the stupid white attire again which if you’ve read my thoughts on Summerslam 92, you know my take on. The other two teams had fought at Summerslam so I guess that constitutes a feud, despite it being a squash. Yeah that makes sense.

The Nastys are WAY over. That’s quite surprising to me. Again, this is a very boring match indeed. I don’t get the point in having these kinds of things, although I guess in this case only having one works fine. This is even a switch from the normal stuff and it’s still rather pointless. Vince asks if Heenan will be on an upcoming European tour. Heenan says he might but it’s really none of Vince’s business.

I love lines like that where given what we know now the meanings are far different. Yep, this match sucks as well. Why can’t there just be interesting matches on a show? I don’t get how hard that is to accomplish. Anyway, after about five minutes of people just beating on each other with the freaking Nasty Boys being the most over out there (I will never get wrestling fans at times), we get to what we knew was coming: the wild brawl.

Out of this, the Beverlies go down to the Earthquake from Earthquake. He really needed a better name for that move. My goodness Typhoon was worthless. Actually that’s not true. He was good for comedy, as he’s more commonly known as the legendary Shockmaster. Good grief this will just not end.

The heels dominate for a few minutes until Typhoon comes in to clean house a bit. This works for awhile until IRS rolls him up to eliminate the Disasters. Within five seconds, Knobbs rolls him up for the win. I kind of like that ending I think.

Rating: D. Oy this was another horrible match. There’s just no point to this match other than to further Nasties vs. Money Inc., which begs the question of why not just have them go at it by themselves? Wouldn’t that make things a lot easier? I’d certainly think so. Either way, this was nothing special and for the most part was just flat out boring. That seems to be a trend here.

We recap Taker vs. Kamala with the main thing being Kamala is scared of caskets. Why does that not surprise me? We see Taker building a massive casket before we go to the arena for the match.

Undertaker vs. Kamala

This is different than the traditional casket match with the rules here being that you have to get the pinfall and THEN put them in the box. Yeah that’s just redundant. The intros here are long but not modern day Taker long as it only takes about five minutes for both guys to come out. Taker and Bearer have the massive coffin with them which is always cool looking, but this one is way too bright for my liking.

Immediately we see the two major issues in this match. First of all, Kamala sucks, badly. Even for a monster he sucks. Second, the coffin aspect is just stupid since it’s pinfall first. Due to that, there’s really no point to the box aspect. They should have made it one or the other, but granted this was a first so they were really in the dark at this point. So far this is your standard monster vs. monster match. Taker beats on both managers but gets chopped by Kamala. This was a very odd time in Taker’s career.

They knew that he was a huge asset and talent, but they had absolutely no clue what to do with him. Since they didn’t know all they did was throw him against monster after monster whom Taker would usually beat after losing an initial encounter. This feud in particular since after this at the Rumble, Whippleman would bring in Giant Gonzalez who would destroy Taker for a bit before Taker put him away at Summerslam.

About 12 years later, the feud was completely recycled but with Muhammad Hassan and Mark Henry combining to play the role of Kamala and Great Khali being Gonzalez. The IWC HATED this feud because we were literally calling every single thing that was going to happen and we were right. Now to be fair, they waited over 10 years so I guess it’s ok, but still it was a very boring 8 months as far as we were concerned when it came to Taker.

Kamala starts taking over and hits some of the worst splashes ever. Like I’ve said, unless it’s from the top rope, for the most part if you use a splash for a finisher, odds are you’re not a very good wrestler. With Taker down, Kim Chee and Kamala literally play hot potato with the urn. Taker sits up and nails Kamala with it for the pin. See, after that they ring the bell, which shows how stupid this is. They roll Kamala into the coffin and literally nail it shut. Yep that’s it.

Rating: C+. Eh, given what they had this was about as good as it was going to get I suppose. Taker winning was never in doubt at all, but it was ok. It certainly could have been worse but they kept it short and that was a big plus for these guys. There’s really not a lot that they’ll be able to do, so I’m happy with this overall. The gimmick was a bit stupid, but they didn’t know what they were doing, so this is slightly above average.

Shawn cuts a pretty bad promo, talking about how he beat Bulldog for the IC belt, who beat Hart for the belt at Summerslam. Apparently Bret has defended the title the most times in history, which is impressive since I think he won it about 6 weeks before this. He was brand new to the big time and you could see he was very nervous.

We get a pointless bit about Kim Chee and Harvey opening the casket and Kamala not being able to move. And that’s about it.

WWF Title: Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels

After Shawn’s intro, we go to the back for an interview with Bret. Since winning the belt he’s defended against Mountie, Berzerker, Rick Martel, Papa Shango and Virgil. And people have the nerve to ask why his first reign wasn’t taken seriously. Bret talks about how thankful he is for what he’s done and how he’s gotten this far. This had the potential to be a great promo, but Bret just wasn’t that good on the mic yet, which is understandable.

It fit his character really well as he was supposed to be the best pure wrestler in the world and while he couldn’t talk he could go in the ring. That’s what he did, and it worked very well. Like I said, this was a huge gamble for the company as they had no clue how to do a big show without Hogan or Warrior. This could have sunk the company for Vince, but thankfully he stuck to his guns and put two of his best young guys out there.

Bret gets a solid pop but not huge. Vince of course tries to make it sound bigger than Hogan ever got. Heenan gets in a great line. Vince says that Bret is likely the most scientific champion of all time. Heenan in his most condescending and annoyed voice says wrong. Vince asks who. Heenan: Flair. He sounds so snobby and annoyed here that it’s perfect. They start with a lengthy feeling out period, which makes sense here and works well since both of these guys can do just about anything.

Also, at this time Shawn doesn’t use the kick as his finisher, but rather a weird suplex move. The kick is in his arsenal but it’s just a run of the mill move. He’s kind of like a rookie MMA Brock Lesnar. He had everything else but he couldn’t finish people. Bret gets a hammerlock and Shawn actually taps but since it’s 1992 no one gets that. Dang maybe he’s more like Lesnar than I thought. Heenan mentions he gets paid a lot of money to do his job.

Vince’s “I’m sure you do” response is full of sarcasm which again is funnier now given that we know he signs Heenan’s checks. Given that this is a pretty long opening part of the match, the fans are staying into it which is a very good thing. Shawn uses that same rolling counter for a hip toss that he’s used before and it’s still completely awesome. Vince really likes talking about how Bret won the title.

How they evolved into what they became just five years later amazes me. We pick up the pace a bit which makes the match more interesting. Granted it was fine before but now it’s a bit better. Bret takes the standard momentum turning bump of having his shoulder hit the post at full speed.

Shawn shifts into a standard heel offense and this is working pretty well. These two have a natural chemistry between them and it’s never once failed to deliver at least a very good match. Even the Montreal match was at least good before the ending.

They continue the debate over who is stronger which never was answered I don’t think. Heenan, talking about Shawn, says this man is hot. Where’s Becca when I need her? I love how Vince orders the referees around. I wonder if he criticizes them about it later on. They kind of mention that Bret has won the Triple Crown but they don’t call it that. Pedro Morales had already done it so they can’t really say much about Bret.

Bobby goes to some classic insults about Bret’s family, which are likely what he was best at. We’ve been in this chinlock far too long now as Shawn just doesn’t have the variety in his offense to be able to pull off a nearly half hour match like this is. Given another year or two though he easily could, but he just wasn’t there yet. It seems that all he knows are rest holds, which I guess he’s using to just stall for time.

That’s fine I guess, but he needs to do some standard stuff in between them to prevent it from becoming boring. Heenan’s random talk of Razor and Flair is amusing. He played the role perfectly. You can tell Vince just can’t keep up with Heenan on the mic and it’s great to hear. Of course, Vince believed he was ten times the commentator that Gordon Solie was so who cares apparently.

Now that we’re out of the rest holds we’re turning it up a bit and now we’re getting good. Shawn of course gets hit with a sling shot which is one of his standard bumps that always works. Vince mentions that Bret has what a champion is made of. Vince, they’re both champions. Of course that’s not mentioned, so I guess even back then the IC Title was being buried. Dang I love that Russian Leg Sweep that Bret does.

For some reason Vince says what is going on. Well Vinny, it’s called a wrestling match. You might have seen one before but apparently not. The referee gets bumped in the corner but is up about 3 seconds later. I think that was unintentional. There’s just something missing from this match and I can’t put my finger on it. What I guess it is would be that neither of these guys are really huge stars yet.

Yes Bret is world champion, but he’s held it for such a short time that he’s still kind of viewed as a midcard guy. That’s what happened to Eddie during his run with the belt and it’s a hard thing to shake off. It’s a good match, but still there’s just an x factor that isn’t there. I think it’s a combination of Bret not going for the legs and Shawn having no finisher to end things with.

Today he would have the kick that he could hit from nowhere. He it looks like both guys are hoping to hit a rollup or something, and that’s what I think is missing. Shawn gets tied up in the ropes but is out in time for Bret to miss some big move and kind of get crotched. Apparently Bret is running himself too thin and whoever fights him next will beat him.

In the exact same ending to regulation time in the iron man match, Shawn misses a top rope dropkick and Bret gets the Sharpshooter to end this. That’s interesting that they would use the exact same ending sequence for regulation in the Iron Man match. And here comes…Santa Claus? What the heck? Yes, Santa is coming down the aisle, the night before Thanksgiving. What in the world? He puts a Santa hat on Bret’s head as it starts snowing in the arena.

I think I’m in one of X’s trips as this makes zero sense. Maybe it’s not snowing. Vince says it is but I don’t see any of it. Oh there it is. Vince says ho ho ho as we end it. After it ends, Bret is with Santa and he says he wants big and bad opponents for Christmas. That’s kind of cool I guess, but still, WHAT THE HECK?

Rating: A-. The lack of a Shawn finishing move here really hurt things. There was never a moment where you really felt that Shawn could pull it off because even though he sets for the suplex at one point, it’s a freaking belly to back suplex. Why should that be considered special?

It wasn’t and thankfully he changed to the kick…a few years later. Other than that, this was a good match. It’s not great, but it’s certainly worth seeing. These guys would go on to have classic after classic, but this one is really forgotten I think.

Overall Rating: C+. Well it’s better than anything that this show has done since the first one, so it gets a passing grade but not by much. This just flat out wasn’t that great. There’s two very good matches in the double main event, but the rest of the show is just above average at best. It was a gamble and it worked, but it didn’t feel like the Survivor Series at all. It worked, but not great like I said. It’s recommended though, but not very strongly at all.

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Survivor Series 1991
Date: November 27, 1991
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 17,500
Commenators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

The main thing here is simple: Vince has more or less given up on the idea of having all Survivor Series matches and has given us a traditional main event match, in this case, Taker challenging Hogan for the world title.  Also, Flair has jumped ship to the WWF in a huge botch on WCW’s part. Finally, the hottest feud in the world right now is Jake Roberts vs. Randy Savage, but I’ll get to why I’m pissed off about that in just a few minutes. Other than that, the show is pretty much what you would expect.

The roster is changing a bit though; with it being more like the early 90s look than what we had seen for years before. It was a pretty bad show when I watched it two weeks ago, so maybe it’s somehow improved since then.

We get the logo and everything with a huge banner over it saying 5th Annual. Is it really something we need to know that badly? Within 30 seconds of the start of the show we’re hearing about the Roberts vs. Macho situation. So here’s the idea: Savage lost the career ending match at Mania and is officially retired. However, he’s trying to get reinstated since no one really stays retired (are you listening Ric Flair?).

Roberts had been supposed to feud with the Warrior for a huge program but Warrior was a jerk and got fired, which you can read about in my Summerslam 91 review. Anyway, they instead paired him with Savage for this. This past Sunday (this show is airing on Wednesday which was the tradition back in the day) Roberts got Savage into the ring and tied him up in the ropes before pulling out a cobra. Before I go on, does that sound like some latent sexual issues or is it just me?

Anyway, Savage get bit by the cobra and they can’t get it off of him. The crowd is so into this it’s unreal. Eventually they get him out of it and Savage tries to fight back but can’t stand up because of the “venom”. In one of the absolute funniest moments I can ever remember in wrestling, Vince is FREAKING over this and actually doing a great job on the mic which is a lot more than he usually does.

However, as Savage is being put on the stretcher, we cut to a kid in the audience crying and Vince absolutely loses it. He’s cracking up and since Piper ran to the ring to help Savage, there’s no one to bail him out here. It’s just great as he’s trying to stay serious but just can’t do it because he’s holding back laughter.

I guarantee that whoever did that cut was fired. I can’t imagine they weren’t. So anyway, after all that (they showed the entire segment which was about 4 minutes long), we go to Jack Tunney who says that this is his fault and he’s to blame for what Jake did.

Now we get to the big part: Savage will not be allowed to wrestle tonight, and Jake has been pulled from his match as well. HOWEVER, Savage is reinstated and will face Roberts at ANOTHER PPV called Tuesday in Texas, SIX FREAKING DAYS AFTER THIS SHOW. Remember, the incident that they’re referencing was three days prior to this. They’re changing the main event three days before the show so that they can hook in more PPV buys for ANOTHER show six days after it. That my friends is nonsense.

I’m sorry but that just doesn’t work. The fans are already paying 30 dollars for this show and they don’t get the real main event out of it? Hogwash. Instead Vince says for only 20 dollars more you can see the main event that you paid for here. I get that Vince was running low on money at this point, but there comes a point where you’re just screwing the fan too much. This is stupid on all levels. If you want to do this, give the people more than 72 hours notice.

How many people do you think might have missed Superstars and not known about this until after the show had started and their money had been paid? Again, that’s nonsense. I’m legit pissed off again over this, with the only thing that’s keeping me calm being Tunney’s licking of his lips in this promo. It’s just weird looking. He looks like he’s getting ready to eat an ice cream cone or something. This whole segment was just designed to piss off fans.

But hey! In six days, you can pay us MORE money to see this match, so make sure you order the other show. Gorilla and Bobby plug the show even more before we start our first match, 6 minutes into the show. Ok make that 7.

Roddy Piper’s Team vs. Ric Flair’s Team

Piper: Bret Hart, Virgil, Davey Boy Smith

Flair: Ted DiBiase, Warlord, Mountie

The feuds actually match up here as Piper and Flair were feuding, DiBiase and Virgil had just finished feuding, Hart and the Mountie would clash over the IC belt in a few weeks and Smith and Warlord were arguing over who was stronger. Wow a match that actually works out well in that area. I don’t know what to say. Sherri is with DiBiase here.

Actually, all four heels have managers, with (going in order listed above) Mr. Perfect, Sherri, Harvey Whippleman and Jimmy Hart. They can’t stay at ringside though. Flair is out now with a censored belt. Ok so this deserves an in depth explanation as well I guess. Back in the 80s, wrestling was based on the territory system as you likely know. Most companies were part of the NWA but all had their own champions and talent (think of it like the NCAA with its conferences).

However, there was still an NWA world champion that went around the country defending his title everywhere. This you likely know or have at least heard of. Now like I said, there were all kinds of territories. One guy in the south started to buy a bunch of them and join them into a superterriory.

This man’s name was Jim Crockett who you’ve likely heard of. He turned it into what you now know as WCW, but it wasn’t known as that at the time. Anyway, he tried to go to war with Vince but just didn’t have the money to do it. He eventually sold to Ted Turner, who changed the name to World Championship Wrestling.

Turner slowly started to fade away from the NWA stuff as he and Crockett had realized the same thing: WCW was the NWA at this point. He owned all the talent and the NWA championship (the big gold belt was made by Crockett for Flair. Before that they had used a different one.) Now at the time, Flair was still the NWA champion, but was also the WCW champion.

This was represented by the same belt though, as more or less it was the same title but officially it wasn’t. It’s very complicated no matter how you look at it so if that doesn’t make sense to you, don’t be surprised. So Turner brought in a bunch of people that had no freaking clue how to run a wrestling company, with the main one being Jim Herd. Herd looked at Flair and thought that he was washed up and past his prime.

This was abdsurd as well since Flair was not only world champion but the top draw still. Herd thought the Nature Boy gimmick was stupid and wanted to change Flair into, and I’m not making this up, a bald gladiator. Yes, he wanted to drop one of the most famous gimmicks in history to make him a stupid character.

As Kevin Sullivan put it, “after we change Flair’s gimmick, let’s go change Babe Ruth’s number.” Flair, having a brain, told Herd that this wasn’t going to work. Herd, being the idiot that he was, decided he knew more wrestling than Flair and told him that Flair would do it or be fired.

Now this is where Flair had him. Since, like everyone that knew what they were talking about, Flair knew that he could walk straight into the WWF and be launched right to the top of the show, he didn’t back down. Herd fired him and Vince got a nice big present called Ric Flair just handed to him. Now let’s get to the interesting part. When he was fired, Flair was still WCW and NWA champion.

Yes, Herd was dumb enough to fire him BEFORE changing the title. See what kind of idiot he was? He was stripped of the WCW Title which was then put in a match between Luger and Barry Windham, which was booed out of the building with chants of WE WANT FLAIR! The winner didn’t matter, because no one was going to take them seriously as champion, and why should they have? They never beat Flair for the title so they were in essence fighting for the number one contender spot.

No one bought it and the title was hurt badly for the next year and a half since instead of watching fake champions, they turned the channel to USA to see how the real WCW champion did in the WWF. Now the REAL interesting part lies in the NWA title. Like I said, Flair held both titles which were represented by the same belt.

The NWA had a policy for its world champions: you win the title, you pay 25,000 dollars as a deposit on it. The deal was done to prevent people from showing up in other companies with the title. In other words, you rented it. Once you lost the belt you got the money back with interest on it.

Now that’s fine and good. Flair paid the deposit and all was well and good. However, once he was fired from WCW he was stripped of the belt and was told to return it to the NWA. Flair said he’d be glad to do it as soon as he was given his money back. Problem: the NWA didn’t have it. Flair says well then you don’t have a belt either. He took it to Vince and used it in a gimmick, calling himself the REAL world’s champion.

The NWA panicked since there was no way they could let this happen. They took Flair to court over it and were laughed out of the room since they had absolutely no case. They made a deal with Flair and weren’t living up to their end of it. Therefore, there was nothing they could do to keep Flair from using the title on WWF TV. It was his property so he could do whatever he wanted with it.

Eventually Flair went back to WCW and let them use the belt after they paid him what he was owed. The big gold belt became the WCW Title and the rest is history. WCW left the NWA in about 1993 and the NWA tried to revive itself with a tournament in Philadelphia. I think you know what happened there.

Anyway, the point of this was that during this time, the NWA got a temporary injunction against Flair to keep him from using the big gold belt but the angle kept going anyway with other belts being used in its place. Tonight it’s a tag title, which is blacked out but at times you can see the edges of it. How weird would that have been? Flair is just standing there holding up one of the tag titles. Oh yeah we’ve got a match to do too. Let’s get to it.

Hart’s pop is INSANE. They knew what they had here and that would be made apparent as next year at this time he would be world champion. We start off with DiBiase vs. Piper. That’s a very interesting match that I don’t think ever had a big time feud. They of course have a great match here as my amazement never ends as to how DiBiase never got a title run. They of course have a great mini-match here since they’re both awesome.

Sherri comes in for interference but it of course backfires since Piper was practically a main eventer and such things don’t bother him at all. Now we get Virgil, who for some reason gets a pop. This is even more reason for me to hate what they’re pulling tonight. The crowd is white hot, so instead of giving them a big match, let’s give it to people in a week. Yeah that’s very good work there guys. Way to support your fans.

The face team spends about three minutes just killing DiBiase with all three guys getting in a lot of work on him. Finally he gets out and we get Flair vs. Hart. Even back then we knew it was something special. Bret was so on at this time that it’s unbelievable. The Heenan cheering for Flair is just funny stuff. Now the faces take their turns beating up on Flair. About 5 minutes straight is just faces beating on DiBiase and Flair.

Despite that, this is very entertaining either way as both guys are big time heels so the beatings work well and the crowd is WAY into this. Piper comes in to beat up Flair some and it’s so loud you can barely hear much. He finally gets out and we have Warlord and Bulldog in a test of strength. Due to some expected heel cheating, Bulldog is in trouble now as the Mountie continues to crack me up with how completely over the top he is with his gimmick. It’s so ridiculously insane that it’s greatness.

We get a funny bit as we see Jimmy in the back PANICKING since he can’t be out there with the Mountie. Managers really are a lost art indeed today. They’re something that can really enhance a character yet for some reason they’re never used anymore. I don’t get that. Being a manager requires two things: being able to talk and being able to take a beating once in awhile. Seriously, is that something that sounds next to impossible or next to that difficult even? I don’t get it.

It’s just not that hard to me, at least in theory. Instead we get people like Santino and Abraham Washington. Why not make one of them a manager? Nope, instead everything has to be about comedy instead of enhancing a character. Yep, you have to love that.

Bret comes in so Mountie bails as fast as he can, giving us Bret vs. DiBiase again so I can’t complain. Smith comes in after about 8 seconds of this as Mountie is tagged in. It’s brawl time and note: Gorilla says that the legal men are Flair and Smith, which would be wrong. Anyway, Smith hits the powerslam on Mountie but Flair goes to the tope and hits a double axe handle shot to the back of Davey’s head.

He rolls him over and pins him as Gorilla is freaking out about how Flair wasn’t legal, despite him saying that he was not 20 seconds before this. I love the confusion that is Gorilla Monsoon a lot of the time. Piper immediately runs in to beat on Flair, despite him not being legal in the match but who cares about something stupid like legality? All four people beat on Piper for a bit as the fans are still way into this match. That’s a good sign that after about eleven minutes we’re still this into a match.

Piper puts the figure four on Flair to a HUGE pop. Virgil comes in to fight Mountie who is terrified of him. For some reason, no one wants to fight Virgil. Why not? The guy just wasn’t that big of a deal. All that mattered in his career was that he beat DiBiase one time. That’s all anyone ever actually cared about and it was indeed a cool moment. However, once that angle ended, which it had by this point since DiBiase got the belt back, he was just Virgil, a bald guy that threw decent punches.

There’s just nothing really to market there and it turned into nothing at all because there was just nothing they could do with him at this point. It’s the quintessential difference between having a gimmick and being a character. A gimmick is something like Repo Man. He was something that you could throw in with anyone at all and the gimmick would work fine. John Cena is a character. He’s just a man that goes out there and wrestles really well.

There’s more depth to him, but it’s harder to put him with someone because you have to build something up with him. Also, it takes away from the creativity of the storylines with him as you can’t really do much other than have it be about respect or a challenge or so and so wants the title etc. It leads to some very boring and generic storylines.

There’s no right or wrong answer about what’s better, but for someone like Virgil with limited skills and charisma, a gimmick would have worked much better for him. The same holds true for Cena as a gimmick would be awful for him. It’s usually the bigger a star you are, the less you need a gimmick. He and Flair go at it for a bit and as usual, Flair loses at first only to make his comeback and look dominant.

A lot of people say that Flair’s style is boring. I disagree. Yes, he does the same stuff a lot of the time, but how many truly bad Flair matches can you remember, and I’m not talking about when he was all old and likely not legally considered alive. I’m talking about when he was in shape and not old. Think about it: the guy had good matches because he had a formula.

Flair gets beaten on, he makes a small comeback, gets beaten on again, makes a big comeback, goes for the leg, gets the figure four, the face gets to the ropes, and then the finish. The matches worked though and that’s all that mattered. Then you would get idiots like Dusty Rhodes who of course just couldn’t do things the intelligent way and had to have his style of match with Flair, which made them a lot worse.

Those aren’t Flair’s fault. Dusty is to be blamed for those since he’s the one that screwed them up by having to wrestle his horrible style. Dang I’m going on a lot of tangents here. Anyway, Hart does the nice thing and throws Virgil back in to get beaten on some more.

Full nelson goes on but Bret breaks it up to let Piper pin Warlord in the exact same thing that got rid of Bulldog. Well played Hitman. Everybody beats on DiBiase a bit more, with even Virgil getting in some solid stuff. Flair however just ends that as he becomes my hero. Heenan is singing Flair’s praises which never gets old as he even threatens to have Gorilla thrown out. The response of silence is just funny.

Virgil gets beaten on for about three minutes to set up the ending that I hate. He gets DiBiase down and heads for the corner. Both Piper and Flair come in for a big fight, but then the other four come in. Flair gets knocked to the floor and we have a big brawl. Then to end the match, 5 people are disqualified except for Flair because he was on the floor, making him the sole survivor. I get that they wanted to push Flair, but this match was so awesome up to this point that I wanted to see them go longer.

It’s not like they were short on time. Later on the tag team match gets twenty minutes. You could have given this another ten and it would have been fine, but then again, I’m no professional.

Rating: A-. This match was awesome. The crowd was way into it, the wrestlers were all on fire, the feuds made perfect sense, the pacing was good, and then the ending screwed all that up. Yeah here the main issue is the ending, which was just flat out bad. It put Flair over which was the point of the match, but I wish there was another way they could have done it. Either way, this was a very fun and entertaining match. Now if only the rest of the show is this good, which I doubt.

Savage and Liz say to buy Tuesday In Texas. Screw you both. Actually no, just screw Vince and his greed.

Team Slaughter vs. Team Mustafa

Slaughter, Duggan, Texas Tornado, Tito Santana

Colonel Mustafa, Berzerker, Skinner, Hercules

Oh this is going to be bad. It’s like the 80s died and this is the corpse. Basically, it’s America vs. not America here, with Mustafa being more commonly known as Iron Sheik. He had managed Slaughter during his heel run but now Slaughter is red white and blue again so all is fine and dandy. Duggan makes sense to be there, Tornado and Santana are midcard faces. Berzerker, Skinner and Hercules…eh they’re just there to fill in the dates their contracts say they have to work.

Yeah this is going to be pretty bad. Look at the face team. It’s a former world champion, a former NWA champion, a two time IC champion, and Duggan who was always in the upper midcard. They’re against a guy that used to be world champion but that’s not mentioned here and three career jobbers. Yeah this is going to go GREAT. I love how Slaughter can go so evil and then in just a few months he’s a beloved face again. Yeah it’s stupider than it sounds.

The most entertaining part about this match is Gorilla and Heenan arguing. You can tell they’re fairly bored out there and I can’t blame them at all. This match is just boring. There’s no point to it, there’s no reason to want to watch it, and there’s nothing of interest going on. You can tell this was just thrown together and that’s never a good thing. I don’t care about seeing these people fight because they’re just beating on each other with no particular rhyme or reason.

Heenan says some lines about Middle Eastern people that are borderline racist but not quite. Now we get to the best part of the match: the part where the bookers thought it was ok to have Sheik in there for over two minutes straight. Seriously, why? The guy can barely move and he’s going to carry the match? Yeah I think you’re getting why I hate this imbecile. They fill in the void by talking about the Taker vs. Hogan match which is fan better and more interesting.

Sheik gets pinned by a Slaughter clothesline that wasn’t anything special at all. Yeah, this might be the worst Survivor Series match of all time. It’s just flat out boring in all aspects. After about 5 minutes since Sheik got beaten, the other three heels are dispatched in less than two minutes total. Duggan dances around like this is a big deal. Apparently he was captain?

Rating: F. This was just awful. It wasn’t interesting, there was no story, the winners were never once in doubt, and it was just not any good. This was just completely pointless on all levels and was just there to fill in about 20 minutes counting the introductions. Egads what a horrible match.

The winning team walks down the hallway and says they can’t wait to see this match on video. Yeah that wasn’t pointless at all.

Jake Roberts says you should buy Tuesday in Texas. Somehow this takes five minutes to say.

We recap Hogan vs. Taker. They don’t mention how he got the title shot, but they make it obvious that Flair is going to be involved in this. On the Funeral Parlor, Taker’s segment, Flair confronted Hogan which led to Taker beating him down with the urn. Savage and Piper ran out to help him and couldn’t really do anything.

Savage hits Taker with the chair but Taker just knocks it away. That was awesome. Also, Taker rips the cross off the neck of Hogan, which is a direct homage to Andre 4 years prior to this. Taker was billed as undefeated here, despite having lost a bunch of matches to Warrior.

WWF Title: Undertaker vs. Hulk Hogan

So this is the first non Survivor Series match in the history of the show, which I think was what was needed. Since it’s the main event, of course it’s the shortest match on the show. We could have a problem here though as neither guy is going to sell crap here. Gorilla tries to convince us that they’re the same size. That’s just amusing. He goes on to say that Hogan has quickness and agility. I’m sorry but that’s just hilarious.

Hogan looks scared to death which is awesome. Bearer of course gets in his shots as Taker is in control. You have to remember that he’s only been around about a year at this point. This would be like Cena vs. Swagger in the main event of a major PPV for the title. Apparently it’s a big deal that Hogan can’t slam Taker despite him hitting Hogan as he goes up. Yeah that’s not a big deal at all. Taker gets clotheslined over the ropes and lands on his feet.

That’s always a cool looking spot and it makes it look like the move did nothing at all. The never ending debate about what’s in the urn continues. Was that ever answered? Taker’s tattoos interest me. Given his gimmick, what must that day in the tattoo place have been like?

Gorilla is of course freaking out over Bearer as Heenan says his monitor keeps kicking in and out. Monsoon says he’s going to start kicking Heenan in and out in a bit. Those two are just great together. There’s a Hogan lookalike at ringside who is leading cheers. It’s really quite amusing. Taker uses a smother on Hogan. That’s an interesting move as he just covers Hogan’s face with his hand.

That’s both good and bad as it looks a lot more effective than some moves do, while at the same time really being nothing at all. Heenan naturally can’t hear Monsoon, which is odd as he has that big headset on. Ok the smother doesn’t need to go on for two minutes. Taker does the eye roll that never gets old. Hogan makes his comeback but after more interference he takes a tombstone. Naturally he pops right up and starts his finishing sequence.

Bearer’s reaction to Hogan popping up is just great. As he goes for the legdrop, Flair comes out and touches his belt. Hogan, feeling a sense of animalistic pride, goes out and stops him. He puts Taker down again and goes for the leg but Bearer grabs him.

As he’s got the referee, Flair puts in a chair and Taker tombstones him on it for the title to more or less kill Hulkamania. Taker’s slow walk to the back with the belt is nothing short of greatness. Also, if Hogan isn’t legit hurt here, he needs an acting award. He looks completely gone.

Rating: C-. Again, this is a match where the historical aspect far outweighs the wrestling that you saw on display. Hogan losing at this point was a big deal, but he was getting very little reaction in this match. His time had simply gone by this point and it wasn’t working anymore.

That’s all fine and good, so Vince decided to take a BIG gamble and have him lose here. There would be a rematch in 6 days, but Hogan would only hold the title for a few days before it was declared vacant with the winner of the Rumble getting it. Hogan wouldn’t hold it again for over a year.

All the faces say they’re going to win.

All the heels say they’re going to win.

Tunney announces the rematch with Hogan and Taker for next Tuesday. Yep, it’s only 20 dollars and you get two main events, which you were supposed to get tonight, but screw that idea.

Nasty Boys/Beverly Brothers vs. Bushwackers/Rockers

The Rockers are on the verge of splitting up at this point with the Barber Shop happening in just under two months. As for the other three teams, they’re just there. Yes, this is the match that gets over 20 minutes and is the longest of the night. What in the world was Vince on tonight? This makes tonight even more of a slap in the face of the fans as we get 23 minutes of this and no Savage/Roberts.

Yeah that’s just great Vince, thanks for screwing over every person that pair their money to see this match. The Rockers are just ungodly over here, so of course they were being split up. We start off with Butch and Knobbs. Gorilla says no one knows more about surviving than the Bushwackers. Um, what? They do their comedy act as I can’t believe they still had jobs at this point. Somehow they would last until 1994.

Yep, no one cares about this match at all, but since the theme of the night seems to be how can we screw the audience over even more than we have earlier on in the night, it of course goes on and on and on. Luke, who once licked my at a house show, is gone fairly early due to a Brian Knobbs flying clothesline. Yep, that’s the kind of match that this is going to be: the kind where a flying clothesline that more or less sucked can get an elimination.

Can’t you tell how excited I am to be reviewing this match AGAIN? Oh I’m in heaven here people! Anyway, Marty comes in then and is looking either confused or stoned out of his mind. It’s likely both. Heenan, being as bored as ever, starts an argument with himself.

Heenan goes on to say that had Hogan not gone after Flair he would have won, which is likely correct. After more bad offense from both teams, Butch is put out following a weird double team move. It was supposed to start with a backdrop and end with a facebuster, but instead it looked like a bad botch. It was kind of like a 3D but nowhere near as cool looking or effective.

I think the Beverlies were supposed to be rich guys but I’m not sure. We’re down to Rockers vs. all four. Shawn starts getting his head handed to him as I’m sure Becca would love to steal it but that’s a different story. After getting beaten on forever, Shawn hooks a quick backslide and pins Beau. So now it’s Marty’s turn to get beaten up on for a good while as still nothing happens. We’re nearly 20 minutes into this and Marty puts on an armbar.

Yeah and you wonder why Shawn was given the big push. Shawn gets the tag leading to all five guys being in there at once. During this, Marty slams Sags but his feet hit Shawn in the face to let him get rolled up for the pin. Shawn is PISSED. He looks like he’s about to kill Marty but it doesn’t happen and Shawn goes to the back to leave it at three on one.

Jannetty fights as much as he can but even after some cool looking spots, he goes out to a bad small package. Seriously, it just looked awful. Marty’s shoulder was up and yet he got counted down anyway. It was just bad on all levels.

Rating: D. This was just BORING. Look at the opening match and then look at this one. The first one was a minute shorter yet I had FAR more to say about it. This was just boring and it’s a great example of how two matches can be completely different. The first one was interesting, sharp and fun. This was long, boring and sloppy. Granted it could be more about a lack of talent in this one but I digress.

This was just not good and there was absolutely NO need to give this nearly 25 minutes. You had a great match to open the show that would have been an A+ had it been given a few more minutes. The world title match could have used another 2-3 minutes. Yeah I know I say that a lot and in most cases there just isn’t enough time to go around. In this case, there should have been all kinds of time to go around but instead it got wasted here. That’s inexcusable.

With nothing else to say or do, it’s main event time.

Legion of Doom/Big Boss Man vs. IRS/Natural Disasters

Yep, this is the main event. Even at a house show this is a weak match, but here at the “Let’s screw the fans show”, it’s the main event. Apparently this was supposed to be Sid on the face team and Roberts on the heel team. Sid got hurt so they were going to put Savage in, but due to the move on Sunday, which means Vince’s greed, he got pulled and they took off Roberts too, since IRS is FAR ahead of Roberts on the company totem pole.

Anyway, IRS and Boss Man start, despite having no animosity at this point in time. LOD and the Disasters were feuding, but other than that, there’s little point to this. I really want this to end soon. Nope, apparently we’re in for the long match here as it’s generic offense all around to start. Yep, again, no one really cares about this match because we haven’t been given a reason to care.

The announcers clearly aren’t interested in the match at all as they bicker. Rule of thumb: the more bickering you hear between the announcers, the more bored they are. Finally after five minutes of people hitting each other and doing shoulder blocks, we get something interesting as Boss Man has IRS in trouble but he gets a metal briefcase to the head and is pinned. Unfortunately this messes up Gorilla’s rant about how Flair stole the title from Hogan.

Also, apparently there has to be something in the briefcase because it being made of metal isn’t enough to knock out Boss Man. Yeah that makes sense. So now it’s LOD against the three of them. Since they’re the tag champions at the moment, I doubt they’ll lose. As I say this, we get the fourth plug for Tuesday in Texas. We get it already guys.

Vince wants our money and if we want to see the big matches we were promised we have to pay another 20 dollars next week. As if we haven’t had enough excitement in this match, it’s time for a BEARHUG. Gorilla: I think he’s wasting time with this hold. I would agree if the last word was match. IRS goes for the briefcase again but it misses and hits Typhoon in the head and eliminates him. Quake is PISSED.

He’s pissed enough that he leaves with Typhoon. So it’s IRS 1-2 with the tag team champions. What happens of course? It goes on for 6 minutes. My goodness give me a break. Finally the LOD wake up and hits a top rope clothesline to end this which Gorilla says was inevitable. See, even he knew this was how it was going to end. Hey let’s plug Texas again. Heenan says it’ll be better than tonight. It couldn’t be much worse.

Rating: D. Again, this was BORING. There was no point to this being a six man. If they wanted to just have the faces win to end the show, do the smart thing and just make this a tag team title match. A few things are accomplished by doing that. Number one, it makes the match at least seem important.

Sure the LOD would keep the belts, but at least it would have had a sense of meaning to it instead of just a random match like this. Second, it would have been far more logical than this. Anyway, this was just bad and boring, but the faces won and the fans went home happy, so that’s good I guess.

Gene is in the catacombs of the arena. Joe Louis Arena has catacombs? Cool? Anyway, Bearer says that Hulkamania died tonight and plugs Texas to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. And that’s being generous. The first match on this show was awesome. It goes downhill fast. I don’t know what the heck they were thinking on this show. Wait, yes I do. The fans will buy one PPV. That means they’ll but a second. Seriously, this was sickening to see from the WWF. There’s no call for pulling the big match three days before the show just to have a one on one match six days later. I’m sorry but that’s not right.

Also, it was a Survivor Series match tonight. How hard would it have been to have them in there but just have them do a double count out with Jake running away or a double DQ or something like that? You give the people what they paid to see, you tease them with the big match just a bit more, and THEN you put the big match on the card in six days. That’s fine with me, but don’t advertise this as being the big match between Randy and Jake and then not have it.

Let them have their quick thing here and then let them do the match Tuesday. That’s all well and good. Other than that, this historic moment with Taker winning his first title mixed with an awesome opening match isn’t enough to make this work anything though, so it’s not recommended at all. The first match is worth seeing though.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: May 28, 2007
Location: Air Canada Centre, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 16,176
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the start of a big week in WWE as we have the three regular TV shows, plus a special Saturday Night’s Main Event and One Night Stand this weekend. That makes this show week the go home show for Sunday, which doesn’t need a lot more set up but maybe they have something good planned. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

It’s Memorial Day, so we get the tribute to the fallen soldiers, including Taps.

Opening sequence.

Battle Royal

Candice Michelle, Mickie James, Maria, Jillian Hall, Layla, Brooke, Kelly Kelly, Michelle McCool, Kristal, Melina

Non-title and it’s a Bikini Beach Blast battle royal, meaning they’re all in bikinis with water guns and pool toys. Melina gets attacked (with the water guns and pool toys) to start and then the water balloons are brought out. Kelly seems to have to adjust her top as the fans want puppies. Kristal is thrown out (through the ropes, because over the top is too much for this kind of match) and there goes Brooke as we slow down for various “weapon” shots. There goes Maria and it’s time to weakly hit each other with pool noodles. Layla is tossed as Lawler says he can’t stand up at the moment.

McCool pours a bucket of water over Kelly, who seems to like it, and then tosses her out. Melina and Jillian go after Mickie and hit her with a water gun for the elimination. Jillian dumps Candice and we’re down to Jillian, Melina and McCool. The villains put McCool on the mat and stretch her by the limbs but she gets back up and clotheslines them down (JR: “Now that’ll knock the barbecue sauce right off of you!”). McCool throws Jillian out and hits a dropkick, but since Melina can’t fall through the ropes, she drops down and rolls out to give McCool the win.

Rating: D. I get it, but my goodness this stuff is cringe. This match actually got about six minutes so Lawler could lose his mind about a thousand times, which got as annoying as you would imagine. There are obvious reasons to put this stuff on TV but egads it does not exactly hold up well.

Here is Shane McMahon to announce that this is the unofficial start of summer. That put some excitement in the air and that is the case in WWE as well. In two weeks, we will be having the first ever tri-branded WWE Draft, featuring Raw, Smackdown and ECW. Any superstar, champion, legend and even leprechaun can be drafted to any show.

Change is inevitable, save for the case of Vince McMahon. At One Night Stand, Vince is going to beat Bobby Lashley, so tonight Shane is going to do the same, as Lashley teams with John Cena against Shane, Umaga and the Great Khali. Tonight, Lashley is finding out what they call Shane the Money. Dancing ensues.

Hardys/Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team/Johnny Nitro/Kenny Dykstra

Nitro and Cade start things off with Cade elbowing him in the face to take over early. It’s off to Matt to take Shelton into the corner so Jeff can come in for the first cover. A dropkick to the back of the seated Benjamin lets Matt come back in for the middle rope elbow as this is one sided so far. Haas comes in for a change and gets thrown into the corner for some elbows from Cade and Murdoch.

As JR suggests that the Hardys, as in the champions, are the real World’s Greatest Tag Team, Haas and Benjamin are sent outside for a huge dive from Murdoch to blow Lawler’s mind (Lawler: “IT WAS LIKE A FLYING COW!”). We take a break and come back with Jeff hitting the Whisper in the Wind to Dykstra but Benjamin gets in a kick to the head to take over. Dykstra hits a heck of a clothesline for two, setting up a backbreaker. Nitro adds a slingshot elbow and Matt has to come in for the save.

Benjamin kicks Jeff in the face for two and we hit the chinlock with a bodyscissors. It’s back to Haas for a belly to belly suplex and a chinlock as we hear that One Night Stand will be all extreme rules matches. Dykstra grabs his own chinlock and bites Jeff in the head for a bonus. That’s enough to get Jeff to jawbreak his way to freedom and the diving tag brings Matt back in. A double DDT (one regular, one reverse) plants Nitro and Dykstra as everything breaks down. The Twist of Fate into the Swanton finishes Dykstra as Lawler can’t believe Cade and Murdoch didn’t turn on the Hardys.

Rating: B-. This was one of those matches that helps move things forward while keeping things fresh. You have so many people in the match that you can have a few pairings you don’t usually get while also solidifying Cade and Murdoch’s face turn (or at least what feels like one for the time being). Good stuff here, which shouldn’t be a surprise given the talent involved.

Post match Benjamin says the Hardys didn’t pin he and Haas, so the challenge is on for One Night Stand. Matt says it’s on, and we’ll make it a ladder match, because of course they will.

Wrestlemania is coming to Orlando.

John Cena reiterates that he is not scared of the Great Khali and would say…..some weird noises to the Punjabi Frankenstein. That’s translated to Cena still not being afraid but he is neither deaf nor invincible. While he isn’t scared, he isn’t sure if he can do the impossible. Yes he made Khali tap, but there was doubt over whether he won or lost.

You can throw out the submissions at One Night Stand because Cena is going to have to put Great Khali on his shoulders and throw him down for the three seconds. Cena isn’t sure if he can do that but he takes great pride in silencing his critics. At One Night Stand, Cena can and he will. This was classic Cena, as he mocked Khali at first, then told the story of the match and brought the fired up promo.

Santino Marella is excited for the Draft and Maria laughs at his accent, which yes, is Italian. He asks if Maria is ok from the battle royal and they seem interested in each other. With Santino gone, Randy Orton pops up to talk about Rob Van Dam. It seems that Van Dam is not happy with Orton injuring Shawn Michaels, but that was one of the highlights of Orton’s career. He felt bad about injuring Shawn, but he won’t about hurting Van Dam.

Randy Orton vs. Rob Van Dam

They go with the grappling to start as Orton grabs a headlock and blocks a top wristlock attempt. An armdrag frustrates Orton and Van Dam uses his legs to grab a rollup for two. A monkey flip sends Orton flying and there’s a kick to the head. They head outside with Orton getting the better of a slugout, setting up the big dropkick off the top and into the barricade.

We take a break and come back with Orton working on the chinlock. Orton pulls him down by the hair to cut off a comeback attempt and it’s time for the circle stomp. Another chinlock is broken up again and Van Dam hits the springboard kick to the face for the double knockdown. Van Dam is up first and kicks him down again, setting up Rolling Thunder.

Orton’s poke to the eye just earns him a step over kick to the face but Van Dam is a little shaky as he goes up top. Van Dam kicks him off the apron but comes back in with the hanging DDT for two. The referee stops to check on Van Dam, who can’t get up to his feet and looks gone. The Punt connects and the referee calls the match as Van Dam is out of it.

Rating: C+. This is the kind of violent Orton that can make for some good stuff as he can be absolutely lethal when he is given the chance. Taking out Michaels and Van Dam in short succession is pretty impressive and should set him up for something else later. Having Van Dam’s facials make it seem like he had been hit in the head with a boulder made this even better.

Post match Orton hits the RKO to make it worse.

Ric Flair/Torrie Wilson vs. Carlito/Victoria

Leave it to Flair to wind up with Torrie out of the whole thing. Flair takes Carlito into the corner to start the chopping but it’s off to Victoria to slap Flair in the face. Lawler: “Lay it on her! She wants it!” Flair takes her down and tries the Figure Four, with Carlito having to make the save. It’s back to Carlito to stomp away at the head and leg, setting up the half crab. Victoria hits Carlito by mistake though and Torrie gets to come in and take over. An X Factor gets two with Carlito making the save. Carlito comes in, kisses Torrie, and hits the Backstabber for the pin (JR: “I KNOW IT’S LEGAL BUT I DON’T LIKE IT!”).

Rating: D+. This feud is running out of gas in a hurry as Carlito has yet to make me believe he is a real threat to Flair. They have fought each other a few times now and it has yet to be anything better than just ok. Both guys need to move on already, as Flair can find something better to do and Carlito can find a good haircut.

Shane McMahon has to break up an argument between Great Khali and Umaga. Shane: “Worst prom couple ever.” He tells them to take out John Cena and Bobby Lashley, but make sure he gets the pin.

One Night Stand/Saturday Night’s Main Event rundowns, edited off of Peacock due to Puddle of Mud.

It’s time for the Kiss Cam with Maria but Chris Masters interrupts. He wants Santino Marella to take the Masterlock Challenge. Masters threatens Maria so cue Marella for the brawl, which ends in the Masterlock. This has been a very Maria frequent show.

Shane McMahon/Umaga/Great Khali vs. John Cena/Bobby Lashley

Umaga sends Cena into the corner to start but misses a charge. Cena scores with the Throwback for a fast two but he gets thrown into the corner to start the hammering. There are the LET’S GO CENA/CENA SUCKS chants as Khali kicks Cena in the head. Shane comes in to stomp away and it’s Umaga getting in some right hands. The Samoan drop gives Umaga a delayed two and Khali drops a leg.

Now Shane is willing to stick around for the bodyscissors and shots to the back of Cena’s head to make things worse. That’s broken up with the ProtoBomb and it’s Lashley coming in to pick up the pace. Lashley runs Umaga over but can’t slam Khali as everything breaks down. The Samoan Spike puts Cena down on the floor and there’s the chokeslam to Lashley. Shane’s top rope elbow hits Lashley for the pin.

Rating: C. Just a quick way to bring in as many people as you can for the main event, which went well enough. Shane getting to gloat works well, as Lashley can shut up either Shane or Vince McMahon to even things up. The match was pretty immaterial, but it isn’t like losing to Umaga and Khali is a big defeat. Lashley didn’t do much until the end but it worked out fine.

Vince McMahon comes out to celebrate with the villains to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. It was better than last week but not by much. This did a good enough job of making me want to see the Raw half of One Night Stand, as they are betting on the gimmicks and stipulations to make the show work. That’s about all you can do at this point in the cycle of feuds so at least they’re going with the smartest route possible.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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