Wrestlemania XXVII
Date: April 3, 2011
Location: Georgia Dome, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 71,617
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Josh Matthews
America The Beautiful: Keri Hilson
Host: The Rock

So the big story here is the return of the Rock, who is back for the first time in a good many years and serving as the show’s host. That is already bleeding into the main event, which features John Cena challenging the Miz for the Raw World Title. Other than that, we have the worst Wrestlemania match of all time so let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: US Title: Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan is challenging in a lumberjack match and I think you know where this is going. Also, this wasn’t your traditional pre-show match, but rather a DVD extra. Sheamus starts fast and knocks him into the corner but Bryan gets in the moonsault into the running clothesline. Bryan fires off the kicks to the chest and Sheamus is sent outside, with Mark Henry throwing him back inside.

Back in and Sheamus hits a hard clothesline before knocking Bryan outside. Bryan is sent back inside and we hit a crossface chickenwing of all things. The comeback is cut off with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two but Bryan slips out of the High Cross. Sheamus is low bridged to the floor and the lumberjacks have to be dispatched. The big brawl is on and the referee throws it out at 4:19.

Rating: C+. This was pretty clearly designed to set up the pretty obvious Wrestlemania battle royal, which is something that happens almost every year. At the same time, that doesn’t exactly make the people in the match feel overly important, which isn’t a great way to go. I like that the title is involved in some way, but dang this wasn’t the best use of the US Title.

Post match the brawl is on and here is Teddy Long to…well dance a bit, and then make the battle royal

Battle Royal

Daniel Bryan, Sheamus, Yoshi Tatsu, Evan Bourne, Ted DiBiase, Drew McIntyre, William Regal, Tyler Reks, Curt Hawkins, R-Truth, Zack Ryder, Chavo Guerrero, Jey Uso, Great Khali, Jimmy Uso, David Hart Smith, JTG, Trent Beretta, Tyson Kidd, Johnny Curtis, Chris Masters, Mark Henry, Primo

Non-title. Sheamus isn’t even in the ring to start and Khali throws out Reks and Hawkins in a hurry. Tatsu is out and things slow down a bit as the brawling on the ropes ensues. Khali chops Masters down in the middle of the ring and R-Truth is low bridged out. Henry gets rid of the Usos so a bunch of people get together to toss him. Khali tosses Primo and Ryder is out after him. McIntyre and Guerrero go to the apron with McIntyre eliminating him and Hart Smith being chopped out after him.

JTG gets the same treatment and Sheamus kicks Khali down, which doesn’t seem that smart. Bryan eliminates Kidd and McIntyre does the same to Beretta. Curtis is gone as well and for some reason Masters grabs the Masterlock on the apron. Naturally he’s knocked out and it’s Bourne hitting Air Bourne on McIntyre. Regal unloads on DiBiase but misses a charge and gets eliminated. McIntyre kicks DiBiase out and gets thrown out by Bryan. That leaves Bryan, Sheamus and Khali, with the non-Khali guys going to the apron. Sheamus knocks Bryan out and goes after Khali, who clotheslines him out for the win at 8:28.

Rating: D+. As you can guess, this is the “get everyone on the show” match and that’s not a bad thing. Unfortunately it was a mostly bad match, with the string of people being eliminated that almost always happens in these things. Khali winning is fine, but the US Title being used to set up this less than important match isn’t a great sign of where the title was at this point.

Keri Hilson sings America The Beautiful.

Here’s the Rock to get things going, naturally with a big over the top introduction. This is a pretty big deal as he hasn’t really don anything important in WWE since around 2004. Rock hits his catchphrases and says we’re making history with all kinds of things tonight. He has the fans say MANIA when he says WRESTLE and then mocks John Cena with the Fruity Pebbles stuff.

Then he pauses for a bit and has some of the people’s water as this is not exactly going well. He has the fans get involved with a YABBA DABBA chant then hits some rhymes about how big this show is going to be. It’s bigger than Christmas, though there’s no offense to Santa. The big catchphrase wraps everything up after….pretty much nothing.

The opening video mostly looks at the history of Wrestlemania and hypes up the Rock’s return, plus the biggest matches.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Alberto Del Rio

Del Rio is challenging (after winning the Royal Rumble) and has Ricardo Rodriguez doing his custom entrance, as usual, plus bodyguard Brodus Clay. Edge has Christian with him to even things out a bit so there are quite a few people here. There is also a giant cube that comes down over the ring and plays Edge’s logo (plus I’m assuming others later throughout the night, otherwise it’s kind of odd).

They lock up into the corner to start before Del Rio starts in on the (previously injured) arm. A backdrop sends Del Rio outside for the big crash but he sends Edge arm first into the barricade. Back in and we hit the armbar before Del Rio bends the arm around the rope. Another armbar is broken up and Del Rio misses a charge, sending him crashing out to the floor. Del Rio is fine enough to grab a super armdrag for two, followed by some basic right hands to the head.

Edge manages a spinwheel kick to leave them both down until Edge is able to grab the flapjack. The Edge-O-Matic gets two but Del Rio manages to get the cross armbreaker. Edge is right into the ropes and goes up, where it’s a jumping enziguri to bring him down for two. Clay and Cage get into it on the floor, with Edge grabbing a rollup for two of his own. The spear doesn’t work and Clay sends the bad arm into the post. The cross armbreaker goes on again but Edge switches into the Edgecator as Christian tornado DDTs Clay on the floor. Del Rio goes to the arm for the escape but Edge spears him down to retain at 11:08.

Rating: C+. It’s a fine enough way to go, though Del Rio winning the Royal Rumble and then just losing the title match feels like quite the downgrade. Edge was doing well enough but it felt like a setup for a tag match, which is kind of a weird way to go for the Wrestlemania World Title match. It’s not bad, but felt more like a big Smackdown main event and that’s about all.

Post match Edge and Christian destroy Del Rio’s Rolls Royce. Del Rio cries a lot and the Canadians celebrate as Cole wants them arrested. Then Edge would retire eight days later and vacate the title, because that’s the right way to go rather than putting Del Rio over here.

Cole taunts Lawler before their match later tonight. Oh….can we just not?

Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio

Rhodes is in his Dr. Doom phase here, as Mysterio injured his Dashing face and left him with emotional scars after the facial surgery. This was an outstanding character run for Rhodes and the first time I saw the star power and potential in him. Mysterio’s awesome superhero outfit this year is Captain America, sending Cole into a big rant (as usual around this time). Mysterio strikes away to start and hits a quick top rope hurricanrana.

Rhodes headbutts him down though and puts Mysterio in the ropes for a running headbutt. A running kick to the head sets up the one armed camel clutch but Mysterio is back up with something like a Black Widow. That’s reversed into a Hardcore Holly kick to the rather low stomach, followed by the Alabama Slam for two. Rhodes peels up Mysterio’s tights to expose the knee brace (how Rhodes was injured in the first place) before grabbing a nerve hold.

Mysterio fights up and sends him outside for a dropkick through the ropes. Rhodes is sent into the apron, followed by the top rope seated senton back inside. A wheelbarrow suplex drops Mysterio again but he’s right back with a headscissors. The 619 is blocked though and a catapult sends Mysterio throat first into the ropes.

Mysterio is back up with a 619 and pulls Rhodes’ mask off, which he puts on over his own mask. Some running headbutts put Rhodes down and a top rope headbutt gets two. The mask is removed so the referee takes it away, leaving Rhodes to hit Mysterio with his own knee brace (which was taken off somewhere in there). Cross Rhodes finishes Mysterio at 11:58.

Rating: B. These guys worked well together, and I still love the Dr. Doom period for Rhodes. It might not have had the longest legs, but this was the big win that he was needing. This felt like Rhodes getting his revenge and winning one of his biggest matches to date, which I’ll certainly take from both of them. Good stuff here and a nice way to have some hope for Rhodes’ future.

Big Show/Kane/Kofi Kingston/Santino Marella vs. Corre

Kingston is replacing an injured Vladimir Kozlov, who was taken out by the Corre. Marella goes after Slater to start but gets taken down, allowing Show and Kane to come in and clean house. Everything breaks down and we get the parade of knockdowns, including a great looking Trouble In Paradise to Barrett. The Cobra and WMD finish Slater at 1:33. Just a “get these people on the show” match.

The Rock meets Eve Torres and lets her feel his arm. Rock talks about the magic of Wrestlemania and offers to create magic with whomever comes around the corner next. It’s Mae Young, who wants the People’s Strudel. Rock makes some jokes about Young being old and Eve escorts her out (with Mae pinching Rock as she leaves). Rock says it couldn’t have been anyone else….and Steve Austin pops in. The fans get quiet as they know this one is important and they seem to show some respect while saying they remember each other at Wrestlemania. Austin coming in was pretty obvious but these two together is always special.

We recap Randy Orton vs. CM Punk. Orton was challenging for the World Title when Punk and his New Nexus interfered to cost him. As it turns out, Punk was mad at Orton for costing him the World Title TWO YEARS EARLIER and was finally getting around to going for revenge. Orton was fine with getting violent and we’re ready to go.

Randy Orton vs. CM Punk

New Nexus is barred from ringside. Punk goes for Orton’s injured (at Punk’s hands) knee to start but Orton knocks him outside. A dropkick to the steps knocks them into Orton’s knee though and Punk takes over, with a high crossbody getting two back inside. Punk gets cocky and hits a kind of Stunner onto the knee out of the corner, followed by a drop down onto the knee for two.

A top rope double stomp knocks Orton out of the Tree Of Woe for two but the GTS is countered. The RKO is countered as well though as Punk kicks him in the face for two. Punk gets caught up top though and it’s a superplex to bring him back down. Punk is fine enough to wrap the bad knee around the post, followed by the Hartbreaker for a bonus. Back in and Punk ties up the leg again and starts ripping at the bandage, only for Orton to punch him in the face for the break.

Orton starts the comeback but Punk goes right back to the leg and grabs the Anaconda Vice. They finally roll over to the ropes for the break and Punk heads to the apron, where Punk sends him into the post. The hanging DDT drops Punk and Orton gets all angry, only for the leg to give out on the Punt attempt. A desperation RKO attempt is shoved away so Punk tries a springboard…and dives into the RKO (that looked AWESOME) for the pin at 14:45.

Rating: B. This was a perfectly acceptable match with Punk working on the leg for a long time but getting a bit too cocky and walking (or diving) into the RKO. The ending looked outstanding, as Orton’s Wrestlemania RKO’s tend to do, and it came at the end of a good match. Sometimes you need a match between two good hands with some time and that was the situation here. Nice job.

Gene Okerlund is with the Rock and praises him for going well so far. Rock says John Cena’s #1 fan is here and….it’s Peewee Herman. Rock insults him and the payoff is Okerlund in Cena gear. This is as funny as you would expect.

We get the Hall Of Fame Class Of 2007:

Abdullah The Butcher (makes sense in Atlanta)
Sunny (yeah about that….)
The Road Warriors (nonsense that they weren’t in already)
Drew Carey (sure why not)
Bob Armstrong (perfectly fine in Georgia)
Jim Duggan (yes his 2×4 has a bowtie)
Shawn Michaels (eh he’s ok)

Oddly no highlight package this year.

We recap Jerry Lawler taking out Jack Swagger and going after Michael Cole, who threw a drink in his face to make Lawler hate him even more.

Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole

Let’s get this over with. Booker T. and Jim Ross come out to join commentary, Jack Swagger is with Cole and Steve Austin is guest referee. Cole has been a full on heel for months now and has tormented Lawler for a good while, including costing Lawler the WWE Title. Therefore, it’s time for revenge. Ross comes to the ring but Cole cuts his entrance off to talk about how Ross and Lawler are overrated and over the hill.

Cole says this is his first Wrestlemania match too and after he gets rid of Lawler, Ross will be back to making bad barbecue sauce and Cole will be the new Mr. Wrestlemania. Austin rides out on his ATV and almost runs Swagger down, as only Austin could get away with doing. After the entrances alone take the better part of ever (including Cole hiding in his Cole Mine), we’re FINALLY ready to go. Lawler jumps Swagger to start and sends him into the barricade before going after Cole in the Cole Mine.

Cole immediately begs off and apologizes, with Lawler accepting a handshake. Lawler then pulls the arm through the hole, with Cole’s face getting stuck against the wall in an actually funny moment. Lawler climbs into the box and pounds on Cole before throwing him inside. Swagger gets in a cheap shot and Cole baseball slides Lawler down. The ankle lock has Lawler tapping on the floor, and we begin the meat of the match: Cole badly working on Lawler’s ankle.

Cole tries to stand on the ankle while leaning on the ropes but can only get his toes to reach it. A punt to the ankle is a bit better but Cole can’t get a Vader Bomb to work. Instead he does a bottom rope version for two as JR can’t believe it was a near fall. Cole takes the straps down and puts on the ankle lock but Lawler kicks him away. Lawler stomps him in the corner so Swagger throws in the towel, which Austin doesn’t seem to like.

Austin towels himself off and throws it back before giving Swagger a Stunner. Cole begs Austin for mercy but Lawler punches Cole down and hits the dropkick. The middle rope punch connects but Lawler pulls him up and grabs the ankle lock. Cole taps and Austin makes VERY certain that he’s giving up, slowly asking a few times before FINALLY calling for the bell at a mind numbing 13:48.

Post match beer is consumed, with Booker T. getting in for a Spinarooni and getting Stunned as well. Everyone is happy…..and we get an email from the Anonymous Raw General Manager. Since the Raw GM has authority over Wrestlemania, the GM says that Austin overstepped his bounds and Cole wins by DQ. Josh Matthews, who read the email, gets a Stunner of his own. A ticked off Austin rids away on his ATV and Lawler joins JR on commentary.

Rating: -F. Hokey smoke it’s worse than I remember. This is, without a doubt, the worst Wrestlemania match of all time. Where do you even start? Well first of all, the match ran the better part of thirty minutes when you add in the before and after. This should have been “Swagger distracts Lawler, Cole gets in some shots, Lawler Hulks Up, punches, dropkick, piledriver (if Cole would take it) or a flying fist drop, Lawler wins in about four minutes and we celebrate.

Instead, it’s Cole working on the ankle (which is a weird enough thing to do) in a “funny” way for far too long as the joke is run into the ground. That’s in addition to Lawler already tapping on the floor (fair enough as it’s to someone like Swagger, but it didn’t need to be there at all) and making him look like a loser right out of the blocks. The match itself is abysmal, but somehow that’s nowhere close to the biggest problem.

At the end of the day, all of those problems can be weakened a bit with Lawler getting the win in his first Wrestlemania match and wrapping up the Cole arc for good. That wouldn’t be a good way to go, but it would have at least been something position. BUT WAIT! Why do that when we can have Cole not only win, but win again at the next pay per view before Lawler FINALLY got his revenge at the end of May by beating Cole in about three minutes.

But why do that when you can kill the crowd instead? That stupid email sound going off guaranteed that things were about to go from bad to worse and there was no way around it. You could practically see Vince McMahon in an otherwise silent Gorilla Position cackling about how “THAT’S GOOD S*** PAL!” while everyone around him realizes that this was the dumbest thing they could have done. This was the dumbest finish to a Wrestlemania match ever and it’s in the running for worst finish to any match anywhere in history.

We look at Wrestlemania Week. All the charity stuff they do is cool.

We recap Undertaker vs. HHH. Undertaker beat Shawn Michaels last year and ended his career, so HHH is out for revenge and to end the Streak. That’s about all you need here, plus a Johnny Cash song of course.

Undertaker vs. HHH

No Holds Barred. HHH gets the big entrance behind a wall of shields and has Metallica’s For Whom The Bell Tolls, while Undertaker goes with Johnny Cash’s Ain’t No Grave. The bell rings and HHH pounds him into the corner, only to be thrown over the top for the early crash out to the floor. Undertaker sends him into the steps and then loads up the announcers’ table.

That takes too long so HHH spears him through the Cole Mine and goes back inside, where Undertaker comes back in for the slugout. The jumping clothesline drops HHH but Old School is broken up. They crash out to the floor and Undertaker is whipped into the barricade to bust it (and him) up a bit. HHH loads up the announcers’ table this time but the Pedigree is countered into a backdrop onto the floor. The slow stand up allows Undertaker to hit the big dive and they’re both down for a bit.

Undertaker loads up something onto the steps but gets spinebustered through the other announcers’ table instead. Back in and Undertaker hits a quick chokeslam for two but HHH rams him into the corner. For some reason HHH hammers down right hands and gets caught in the Last Ride. Thankfully he knows what will happen because Undertaker did it to him about ten years ago and slips out.

Another spinebuster gives HHH two and it’s time for the chair. One heck of a chair shots to the back has HHH in trouble, only for him to come back with a sudden Pedigree for two more. For some reason HHH tries to rain down right hands in the corner AGAIN, this time getting caught in the Last Ride for two and leaving Undertaker ticked off in the process. The Tombstone, complete with tongue, gets two and Undertaker grabs the chair.

Another Tombstone onto the chair is broken up and HHH hits a DDT onto the chair to leave them both down. They very slowly pull themselves up and it’s another Pedigree for another near fall. Another Pedigree gets another two and they’re both down again. Back up and HHH hits eight straight chair shots to the back but doesn’t cover, seemingly out of exhaustion. Or dramatic intensity.

Somehow Undertaker gets back up and it’s a chair to the head to knock him back down. That’s only good for a two so HHH hits his own Tombstone for two. This is treated like the biggest kickout ever and…yeah I still don’t buy it. I remember watching this live and actually saying out loud “you’re not Kane, that won’t work” and not being surprised at all by the kickout. With nothing else working, HHH grabs the sledgehammer but gets pulled into Hell’s Gate. The hold stays on for a good while and HHH drops the hammer before wearily tapping out at 29:24.

Rating: B+. Here’s the thing: it might not have the drama of the Michaels matches (it doesn’t) and it might not have the action of the Michaels matches (it doesn’t) but it’s still a heck of a fight. They didn’t bother with the wrestling side of things here and instead just beat the living daylights out of each other.

The problem here though is that despite everything that Undertaker went through, I never really bought the Streak being in jeopardy. It was more “how much is he going to survive” rather than “how much can he survive” and that brings it down a notch. Still though, it’s quite the fight and set up the much better rematch the following year.

Post match HHH is able to get out on his own and Undertaker slowly follows…but falls down on the way out of the ring. A golf cart has to come out and take Undertaker to the back, which is quite the exit for the winner while HHH walks out. Undertaker wouldn’t be back until January to set up the rematch.

John Morrison/Trish Stratus/Snooki vs. Dolph Ziggler/Laycool

Vickie Guerrero is here with the villains. While it isn’t mentioned anywhere here, this is the result of Snooki gust appearing on Raw and arguing with Guerrero, who helped Laycool beat Stratus that night. Snooki helped Stratus fight and the men were added shortly thereafter, setting this up.

It’s a brawl before the bell with Ziggler and Morrison having to break it up, with Ziggler earning a slap from Snooki. Stratus chops at McCool to start but she’s right back with a knockdown. The Faithbreaker is countered into a faceplant and Stratus slugs away some more. The Stratusphere is blocked and they crash to the floor, where Stratus has to cut off an invading Layla.

Stratus hits a Chick Kick on McCool and Morrison knocks Ziggler outside, setting up the Starship Pain to the floor. Snooki comes in for a handspring elbow and cartwheels over for a falling splash and the pin on McCool at 3:17. Snooki might have been in the ring for thirty seconds, which I believe is about thirty seconds more than Layla was legal.

Rating: D+. This was designed to have Snooki and WWE appear on various Hollywood shows and TMZ. That’s all it was going to be and while Snooki seemed to be putting in the effort, it wasn’t exactly much to see. Then again they were only out there for a few minutes so it couldn’t get that bad. Just not something that held much interest outside of the celebrity involvement, which is acceptable enough.

Tonight’s entertainment record for the building: 71,617. This is about 9,000 lower than a college football game, which isn’t entertainment and WWE isn’t a sport, at least for the sake of their record this time around.

We recap the Raw World Title match, which is one of the better videos WWE has ever done. Miz is standing with his back to the camera watching a bunch of monitors, showing videos jumping between clips of classic main eventers and Miz’s slow rise up WWE. Eventually he won the World Title (hi Miz Girl) and we see his face, with the song kicking in to say that he can’t stop now and you can keep hating him.

Miz talks about how you can hate him for what he is, which he’d rather be over something he isn’t. Like him or not, he’s the face of the WWE and he’s not stopping. Here’s the thing: no, Miz isn’t an all time star in the ring. No, he isn’t the best heel ever. No, he doesn’t feel like he belongs in the main event of Wrestlemania. The problem with that? He made it here, after starting with the wrestling equivalent of American Idol.

Miz put in the work and got SO MUCH FURTHER than anyone would have ever believed possible. That deserves all kinds of praise and while he’s a third wheel here, he’s defending the World Title in the main event of Wrestlemania. Not bad for a guy who wasn’t a wrestler or whatever the insults are about him this week.

Raw World Title: The Miz vs. John Cena

Miz, with Alex Riley, is defending and Cena got his shot by winning the Elimination Chamber. As a bonus, Miz and Riley walk through a series of balloons that spell out AWESOME and you can tell Miz is fired up. Cena’s Wrestlemania entrance is being sung out by a gospel choir, complete with a prayer over clips of Cena growing up and eventually becoming the huge star.

After the Big Match Intros, Cena shoves him down and grabs a hiptoss before we calm down a bit. Miz is able to knock him into the corner and stomp away, followed by the running corner clothesline. Cena grabs a gutwrench suplex and the top rope Fameasser for two each, only to miss a charge into the corner. Miz kicks him down for two and avoids the flying shoulder to send Cena outside.

Back in and Cena fires off the shoulders, which actually connect this time, followed by the Shuffle. It’s too early for the AA though and Miz’s short DDT gets two. A turnbuckle pad is pulled off so the referee replaces it, meaning a Cena small package doesn’t get a count. The pad is still not on but Cena blocks a ram into the buckle and grabs the STF. Miz makes the rope so Riley sends Cena into the buckle, setting up the Skull Crushing Finale for two.

The referee gets bumped, just before Cena hits the AA, meaning there’s still no count. Riley comes in with a briefcase (he has a briefcase) shot to give Miz two so Miz grabs the briefcase, only to hit Riley by mistake. They go outside and Cena clotheslines Miz over the barricade. That’s not enough as Cena tackles Miz over another barricade, with Miz’s head bouncing off the concrete (yes he had a concussion and no he doesn’t remember anything about the match). They’re both down and it’s a double countout at 14:40.

The fans are not pleased but here is the Rock…who is cut off by an email from the Raw General Manager. JR and Lawler both offer to read the email but Rock has them sit down. Rock reads the email, which starts with “I think” but Rock doesn’t seem to care. As the host of this show, Rock is restarting this match, No DQ (Lawler should be ticked off as Rock didn’t get involved earlier but we can just add that to the dumb things about that mess). The bell rings, Cena throws Miz back inside, Rock gives Cena a Rock Bottom, Miz retains at 19:40 total.

Rating: D-. And no. They were trying with some of the shenanigans to get Miz in there, but it was a stupid finish, despite the legitimate concussion. Have Miz get disqualified for cheating or something, but come up with something a bit better than this. The ending didn’t help either, as having Rock just come out and restart the match came out of nowhere, though I guess it’s better than the GM overturning a match. Miz was trying but the chemistry wasn’t there and the ending was awful, so there was only so much they could do, which didn’t wind up working.

Post match Miz is clearly somewhere over Pluto but Rock goes in to beat him up anyway. The spinebuster sets up the People’s Elbow and Rock celebrates to end the show. Cena wouldn’t be happy and the next night, Rock vs. Cena would be set up for a year later, which they actually stuck to, much to my shock, and yeah the build was incredible, despite a not so great start.

The long highlight package wraps us up.

Overall Rating: C-. There are parts of this show that work, with Mysterio vs. Rhodes, Punk vs. Orton and of course the HHH vs. Undertaker match, but that’s not enough to overcome the gaping holes that are the main event and Lawler vs. Cole. Rock didn’t do much here, save for the stuff at the end and that’s not exactly enough. The show isn’t the worst Wrestlemania ever, but it has two really big problems and those are enough to bring it down. Just watch some selected matches here and move on, because it’s not a great Wrestlemania.

Ratings Comparison

Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2026 Redo: C+

Battle Royal

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2026 Redo: D+

Edge vs. Alberto Del Rio

Original: C+
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: C+
2026 Redo: C+

Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: B
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: B
2026 Redo: B

Corre vs. Kane/Santino Marella/Kofi Kingston/Big Show

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2026 Red: N/A

CM Punk vs. Randy Orton

Original: B-
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B-
2026 Redo: B

Michael Cole vs. Jerry Lawler

Original: C
2013 Redo: D-
2015 Redo: D
2026 Redo: -F

Undertaker vs. HHH

Original: B
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: A-
2025 Redo: B+

Snooki/Trish Stratus/John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler/Laycool

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D
2026 Redo: D+

Miz vs. John Cena

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D-
2015 Redo: D-
2026 Redo: D-

Overall Rating

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: C-
2026 Redo: C-

Yeah pretty much the same as last time, which is a rarity.

 

 

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Summerslam 2012
Date: August 19, 2013
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 14,205
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

So Brock Lesnar is back and someone has to stop him. Naturally in this case that means HHH, who is still one of the most important people in the company. Lesnar broke HHH’s arm so HHH is back in the ring to get some revenge. That is pretty much the entire focus of the show, along with the required World Title matches. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Santino Marella vs. Antonio Cesaro

Cesaro (and yes, Antonio Cesaro), with Aksana, is challenging and gets to say “greatest” in five languages before his match (and yes, we were supposed to be surprised when this didn’t get over). They grapple to the mat to start and Marella can actually hang with him down there, followed by a judo throw to bring Cesaro down.

Cesaro breaks out of an armbar without much trouble but Marella is already loading up the Cobra. That’s not happening either so Cesaro takes him to the mat for a chinlock with a knee in Marella’s back. Marella gets up and suplexes Cesaro down but the Cobra is ripped up. Marella fights back and pulls out another Cobra, only for Aksana to offer a distraction. The Neutralizer gives Cesaro the pin and the title at 5:09.

Rating: C. That’s all it should have been as Cesaro wasn’t going to be in any danger against a joke like Marella. The point in putting the title on Marella was to have him lose it in dominant fashion against a big threat and that’s what we got here. The match was nothing of note but that wasn’t the point, as Cesaro basically mauled him in the end.

The opening video looks at the history of Summerslam before shifting to Lesnar vs. HHH. The other matches are basically ignored, as this is all that matters.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Chris Jericho

Ziggler is Mr. Money In The Bank and has Vickie Guerrero with him while Jericho only has bad ribs (thanks to Ziggler on Smackdown). Ziggler bails out to the floor to start so Jericho gives chase, setting up a running elbow to the jaw back inside. With the running stuff not working, Ziggler gets smart by going after the ribs to take over. An ax handle to the ribs gets two but Jericho is back up with a backdrop to the floor (with a heck of a bump from Ziggler).

Jericho does the Hogan hand to the ear but misses the triangle…well it wasn’t going to be a dropkick even if it hit. Back in and Ziggler takes him down into some kind of a rib stretch, followed by a Stinger Splash for two. A neckbreaker lets Ziggler mock the arrogant cover for two more but another Stinger Splash misses. Jericho hits the middle rope ax handle but gets sent into the corner again, allowing Ziggler to hit the Fameasser for two.

The enziguri gives Jericho two of his own but Ziggler is right back with a rather messy looking sleeper. That’s broken up (because it’s a sleeper) so Jericho catches him on top with a super hurricanrana and they both crash down. The running DDT gives Ziggler two and the Zig Zag gets the same, leaving Vickie screaming on the floor.

Back up and Jericho hits a quick Codebreaker but Ziggler rolls out to the floor. Vickie grabs the leg so Jericho can get two off a small package, leaving her screaming again. The Liontamer makes Ziggler tap at 13:04. This is described as Jericho “winning the big one” at Summerslam and….really? He’s won matches at Summerslam before but THIS is the big one?

Rating: B-. The match was fine as you would expect, but I’m not buying this being Jericho winning “the big one” at Summerslam. Jericho is a former multiple time World Champion and has main evented Wrestlemania. Having him win an opener against someone like Ziggler doesn’t feel like a major accomplishment, but rather just something he happens to be doing here.

We look at Brock Lesnar breaking Shawn Michaels’ arm on Raw, which even Paul Heyman thinks might be too far.

Heyman announces that HHH has talked the referee into letting them go a bit further tonight. Lesnar says HHH is in a fight he can’t win, with Heyman saying the two words are “tap out”.

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane

So they’re both having trouble dealing with anger, including Bryan being VERY angry that the fans are cheering for him, even if it’s more mocking this time. Bryan kicks away at the ribs to start before moonsaulting over Kane, who plants him with a slam. The basement dropkick gets one and Kane throws him hard out to the floor. Bryan gets in a shot on the floor though and the missle dropkick gets two back inside.

The fans get to Bryan again but he fires off the YES Kicks anyway. The big kick to the head misses (as it almost always does) though and Kane drops him with a hard clothesline. Kane’s side slam gets two as the loose string on his boot is driving me crazy. There’s the top rope clothesline for two but Bryan escapes the chokeslam and bails outside.

Back in and Bryan hits him in the face, which goes about as well as you probably expect. Bryan goes for the arm though and now the big kick to the head connects. The top rope headbutt is countered into a chokeslam but the Tombstone is countered into a small package (ignore Kane’s shoulder being up) for the pin at 8:03.

Rating: C+. This was another fun one, as Bryan gets to work in his small package, which has been a near trademark for him over the years. The double anger management thing was a good touch and the two of them worked well together in any capacity. If nothing else, this was a lot better than the rumored deal with Charlie Sheen for Bryan, as he and Kane would wind up having a heck of a run together as a team shortly after this.

Post match Kane stalks Bryan to the back, shouting WHERE IS HE and breaking various things (including Josh Matthews).

Intercontinental Title: Rey Mysterio vs. The Miz

Mysterio, as Batman, is challenging but Miz tops him by bringing back the awesome AWESOME balloons for his own entrance. Miz gets in an early knockdown to start so Mysterio grabs a rollup for two, sending him outside. They trade spots a few times, allowing Mysterio to dropkick him through the ropes.

Back in and Miz fires off some kicks, setting up a torture rack dropped into a backbreaker for two. A kick to the head gives Miz two and we hit the cravate. Miz hits a clothesline from his knees for another near fall but Mysterio catches him up top. The top rope seated senton starts the comeback but Miz is right there with a snazzy slingshot sitout powerbomb. Mysterio is back up with a 619 so he tries to Drop The Dime, which is pulled out of the air. That’s reversed into a cradle for two but Miz is right back with the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin to retain at 9:09.

Rating: C+. This was a match that could have been on any given Raw and again that’s not exactly Summerslam worthy. I can always go for the Miz, but this was just he and Mysterio having a match which came and went without doing much of anything. Totally fine and watchable stuff, but for a Monday night in the middle of May, not at the Staples Center at Summerslam.

Eve Torres and Teddy Long think Raw GM AJ Lee is a bit nuts. They leave and CM Punk goes in to see Lee, saying that he doesn’t like being in a triple threat for his title. Punk thinks it’s because he turned down her proposal (Lee was….something at this point), though Lee won’t say anything. He says that’s rather disrespectful, but promises to defend the title tonight. Then tomorrow on Raw, she’ll be forced to show him respect. Lee continues to look off into space and not say a word as Punk leaves.

We recap Alberto Del Rio challenging Sheamus for the Smackdown World Title. Del Rio said Sheamus was beneath him and wanted the title, which is the entire point of the feud. Sheamus stole Del Rio’s car and drove it around San Antonio before leaving the car a mess. Del Rio teased getting Sheamus arrested but had fake cops beat Sheamus up instead. The match was still on for Summerslam.

Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus

Sheamus is defending and Ricardo Rodriguez is here with Del Rio (ok I had forgotten how good the personalized ring announcing can be). They start fast and go to the floor, with both of them being sent into a hard object. Back in and Del Rio kicks him in the head, followed by another one to the bad arm to put Sheamus in trouble. The cross armbreaker is easily countered into the Regal Roll for two but Del Rio kicks him in the arm again.

Another cross armbreaker attempt is cut off but the Brogue Kick misses as well. Del Rio knocks him outside, followed by a top rope chop to the head for two back inside. More kicks have Sheamus in trouble but he fights up with the raw power. Del Rio goes right back to the arm to knock him out of the air though and the cross armbreaker finally goes on.

That’s broken up with quite the powerbomb, followed by White Noise for two. The Brogue Kick is blocked so Sheamus hits the ten forearms to the chest. Del Rio kicks him in the head for two so Rodriguez throws in a shoe. That’s intercepted and Sheamus hits the Irish Curse for the pin, but Del Rio’s foot is on the rope…and it doesn’t matter as Sheamus knocks it off and gets the win at 11:23.

Rating: B-. This is a basic story that makes perfect sense, but that doesn’t make it interesting. I remember watching this feud as it played out and there was never a moment where I felt invested in the story. It’s just Sheamus having matches with someone who felt beneath him and that wasn’t going to work. The stuff with the car was fine, but Del Rio didn’t feel like a threat to win the title, which sums up a lot of the issues he had after around 2011 or so.

Sheamus’ “oh well” shrug and smile are great. Del Rio blames Rodriguez for the loss and walks out.

Earlier today, HHH told the referee to let he and Brock Lesnar fight tonight.

Tag Team Titles: Prime Time Players vs. Kofi Kingston/R-Truth

Kingston and R-Truth are defending. The serious R-Truth jumps Young to start and hammers away. Young drives him into the corner though and hands it off to O’Neil for some barking. A front facelock slows R-Truth down but he’s back up with a kick to the face. Kingston comes in to clean house, including the Boom Drop to O’Neil.

The chase around the ring goes badly for Kingston though as a cheap shot lets the villains take over. O’Neil suplexes Young onto Kingston for two. Commentary discusses Little Jimmy’s parentage as O’Neil puts on an abdominal stretch. That’s broken up and it’s back to R-Truth as everything breaks down. Young grabs a rollup for two but walks into Little Jimmy for the pin to retain at 7:03.

Rating: C-. If there has been a recurring theme on this show, it’s “this doesn’t feel like it belongs on Summerslam” and this match is the poster child for those issues. This would have been dull on any given edition of Raw and it wasn’t any better here. I get that you need a bit of a breather between two of the bigger matches, but as usual, the Tag Team Titles do not feel remotely important. It’s not the wrestlers’ fault as they had a decent enough match, but dang this felt out of place.

We look at WWE taking over Los Angeles.

We recap CM Punk defending the Raw World Title against John Cena and Big Show. Punk got tired of the lack of respect despite being World Champion and turned evil by attacking Cena. In addition, Show has been knocking people out to keep himself involved as well. Rather kooky General Manager AJ Lee made it a triple threat to torment Punk, who is all about getting respect.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. John Cena vs. Big Show

Punk is defending. Show drops both of them to dominate early and hits the big chops. A double suplex sends Cena and Punk flying and Show knocks Cena outside. Back up and Punk gets smart by kicking the leg out as the fans are rather pro-Punk. Cena comes back in and gets kicked down for two, only for Show to stand on Punk’s back. Show sends Cena outside again and pulls a springboarding Punk out of the air to plant him down.

Back in and Cena gets speared down for two, setting up a Vader Bomb. Punk moves out of the way so Cena gets fully crushed, leaving Punk to be chokeslammed against the ropes. The side slam plants Cena as this has been almost all Show. Cena is back up with the ProtoBomb to drop Show but Punk is right there to break up the Shuffle. Punk drops a top rope elbow for two, with the kickout sending him flying.

Another kick to the head sets up a Koji Clutch, which is broken up in short order. Cena gets Show in the STF but it’s countered as well. Punk gets the Koji Clutch on Show again but Cena adds the STF and Show taps at 12:34. Punk and Cena both celebrate but there’s no ruling. Cue AJ Lee to say restart the match, so Show chokeslams both of them for two each. The KO Punch misses though and Cena gives Show the AA, only to be thrown outside so Punk can steal the pin to retain at 14:28.

Rating: B-. Show looked dominant, but the double submission took a lot of that away in a hurry. I didn’t even remember this match taking place here and that’s because, and I hate to sound like such a corrupted mp3 (because my goodness it’s time enough to get a new metaphor) but this isn’t something that felt worthy of being on Summerslam. It’s just another triple threat that feels like what you do when you don’t have a good enough idea. AJ being all crazy and messing with Punk is fine, but find a better way to do it.

Celebrities are here!

We look at the new WWE movie, the Day. It had no wrestlers in prominent roles, got bad reviews and made $20,000 in theaters.

We look at Cesaro winning the US Title on the pre-show.

Kevin Rudolph sings the theme song. Were we really short on time here or something? Various WWE women come out to dance, with Michael Cole doing the same on commentary.

We recap HHH vs. Brock Lesnar. Basically Lesnar had a bunch of demands, like a looser schedule, Vince McMahon’s private jet and more money, but HHH said no chance. Lesnar broke HHH’s arm and a few months later, the match was set for Summerslam. This led to an almost bizarre visual of Stephanie McMahon arguing with Paul Heyman, which might have been even more entertaining. Lesnar responded by breaking Shawn Michaels’ arm as well and the match was on.

HHH vs. Brock Lesnar

The rules are slightly relaxed here and Lesnar has Paul Heyman with him. Lesnar powers him into the corner to start but the Kimura is blocked. HHH clotheslines him to the floor and hits the running knee to put Lesnar down for a breather. Another clothesline puts Lesnar on the floor and Heyman tells him to slow it down. Back in and Lesnar takes the gloves off before knocking HHH outside.

The previously broken arm is dropped onto the announcers’ table as HHH is in trouble. Back in and HHH slugs away but gets cut off with a German suplex. They go back outside and the bad arm is sent into the steps. HHH gets sent over the announcers’ table, followed by a hard clothesline back inside.

HHH fights back and tries the Pedigree but gets sent back to the floor, with the arm getting banged up again. Lesnar goes after him but HHH sends him ribs first into the announcers’ table, leaving Lesnar in trouble. Back in and HHH fires off the knees to the ribs, followed by the spinebuster. The Pedigree gets two so Lesnar hits him low for a breather. The F5 gives Lesnar two (Heyman: “WHAT DOES IT TAKE?”) so the Kimura goes on. That’s broken up and HHH hits another Pedigree, only to get caught in the Kimura for the tap at 18:43.

Rating: B. I guess you can call this the match of the night, as it’s the only match on the show that was treated as a big deal. It wasn’t exactly in doubt as HHH isn’t going to beat Lesnar at Summerslam (he would of course save that for Wrestlemania), which left this as kind of an “ok, and then what?” feeling. The stuff with the arm worked as a story, but it was a question of how Lesnar would win rather than would he win.

Post match Lesnar and Heyman leave, with HHH doing the big dramatic stand as the fans cheer for him. HHH: “I’m sorry.” Somehow this feud would continue for about eight more months, with HHH winning at Wrestlemania (of course) and Lesnar beating him at Extreme Rules to wrap it up and finally move on to something new.

Overall Rating: C+. The show isn’t bad as a whole, but there is a reason I saw this on the list and could barely remember anything about it. Outside of the main event, this is as nothing of a Summerslam as you’ll ever find, with pretty much nothing important happening here. So much of this show feels like it’s setting up something else for later and that’s not what I’m wanting out of one of the biggest events of the year. I get the idea of building off of this, but there was just nothing going on here and it’s a totally forgettable show as a result.

 

 

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Lucha Estrellas
Date: March 9, 2015
Location: Puerto Rico
Commentator: Nelson Santano

This almost has to be better than the previous show I sat through, as I believe we’re still coming up on the big show that they spent half the hour hyping up. Carlito is still feuding with Mighty Ursus but also has to deal with the young guy from last time…..whoever that was. Let’s get to it.

We open with a shortened version of the same opening from last time, with Carlito destroying the convenience store and flashbacks to the cage match.

Clips of the end of yesterday’s main event with the young boy (wearing a mask) coming in and attacking Carlito until La Revolucion ran in to save Carlito. We also get the young guy talking to his brother.

The young guy was on the phone since yesterday.

Opening sequence.

Same Peter the Bad Romance promo from yesterday. Why don’t I just watch that show again?

Clip of the ending of Peter vs. Angel Cotto with Peter winning with a fisherman’s driver.

Same house show ad that I’ve seen like five times in an hour and a half.

And now, back to June 27, 1977 in Madison Square Garden for a WWWF match announced by Vince McMahon! Why you ask? Well likely because this is on the Network and more interesting than whatever nonsense I’ll have to sit through otherwise.

Chad Nelson vs. Jose Gonzalez

Joined in progress with Chad cranking on the arm. Jose fights up and sends him into the buckle with one of those firey Latin comebacks. This time it’s Jose starting in on the arm before four straight dropkicks put Nelson away.

Rating: F. Four dropkicks? Seriously, four straight versions of the same move? This went on nearly ten minutes in full and I can’t imagine wanting to ever see either of these guys again. Luckily neither guy ever did anything that I know of and it’s fairly easy to see why after a performance like this.

Same promos for the Tag Team Title match from yesterday.

Carlito and the guy on the phone, just like yesterday. They really don’t change these things do they?

Puerto Rican Title: Chicano vs. Ricardo Rodriguez

Yes that Rodriguez, who is challenging here. Chicano is very tattooed but has a good look for the most part. As you might expect, Ricardo is quickly knocked to the floor to start and Chicano sends him into the post. Back in and Rodriguez gets in a shot to take over and heads back outside to choke from the floor. We hit a reverse chinlock but Ricardo lets it go to yell at the fans as we go to a break for more promos and house show ads.

Back with Chicano kicking out at two and backdropping Ricardo to get a breather. A huge clothesline gets two for Chicano as the announcers are now doing house show ads. Ricardo hits a jumping knee to the face but misses a moonsault. He’s up fast enough to go up top, only to get shoved back down, setting up a Swanton to give Chicano the pin.

Rating: D+. Chicano looked good and thankfully Ricardo had a shirt on here. This wasn’t much of a match but at least Chicano got to show off and hit a good looking Swanton to end it. He would win the Universal Title less than a month after this show, so there was clearly something to him.

La Revolucion runs in to beat Chicano down post match. Apparently Chicano is challenging for the Puerto Rico Title, held by one of the nameless members of La Revolucion.

La Revolucion rants about Chicano.

Chicano rants about La Revolucion.

The young guy gets out of his car and goes to the house of some old guy, presumably for training.

Hey look: ads for a show.

William de la Vega and another guy yell about Superstar Ash.

The old guy talks to the young guy to end the show.

Overall Rating: F+. This show comes off like the old Memphis TV show: a glorified commercial for the upcoming arena shows, minus the interesting promos and the cool angles. Maybe the language barrier is messing things up for me, but this really isn’t a fun show to watch, even if you can cut out about forty percent of it with the ads and replays from last week.

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Confirmed on Twitter.  This could be the first of many names coming this weekend.  Stay tuned.

There isn’t much to say about Rodriguez. Without Del Rio, he was pretty expendable. I did like his comedy stuff though.

Yeah this match is happening too.This is such a dull feud after a very hot start.  There are multiple problems at the end of the day with the match, but the worst of all is fans aren’t getting behind Del Rio.  A lot of the fans agree with what Swagger and Colter are saying and that’s not a good sign when you’re looking for a new top face draw in Alberto.  This brings us to another problem: all the heat is on Colter.  Swagger basically just stands around and says WE THE PEOPLE before getting into the ring for the same matches he’s been having for months.  The real issue here seems to be between the managers instead of between the wrestlers in the match and that’s not a good sign.

Speaking of Swagger’s matches, they’re a big problem as well.  Swagger is still having the same matches that he’s been having for years now which while ok, don’t scream world champion at me.  The Patriot Lock is good enough, but as a rule you don’t see top faces tap in big matches.  Thankfully Jack has the gutwrench bomb to get a pin with as well as various cheating tactics.  That doesn’t mean the match is going to be good, but at least it could work better than other things they might try.

Another problem is this “feud” and character have only been around for a few months.  Swagger wasn’t ready to make the jump up from where he was when he came back to a world title match at Wrestlemania.  This is reminiscent of JBL back in 2004 as he went from an old character to a brand new one to a world title match in just a few months.  That isn’t a good idea as there are no roots for this new character.  We haven’t seen him do anything other than hound Del Rio, so it’s hard to get into this revenge feud.  Swagger hasn’t done enough to earn vengeance yet.

The last problem with this is also because of the build.  As I mentioned, the problem has really been between the managers.  The broken ankle helped things, but the money move in this feud was to have Colter get Ricardo deported so Rodriguez could return at Wrestlemania and destroy Colter for good.  The ankle….eh it happened and was a good moment but they haven’t really done anything with it since.  I’m sure the managers will get into it on the floor during the match as well.

As for the match…..I think Swagger takes it.  Yeah he’s got the DUI hanging over him, but I’m thinking WWE rolls the dice on him anyway.  The other factor is that on top of the card, there’s no other heel that looks likely to win.  Swagger is the only heel who you could put over to keep every good guy from winning which never happens.  The feud will of course continue at Extreme Rules, and hopefully Jack isn’t nearly as dull as champion as he was a few years back.