Summerslam 1992
Date: August 31, 1992
Location: Wembley Stadium, London, England
Attendance: 80,355
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

Most of the older editions are in need of an update so we’ll knock out this one. This is one of the biggest crowds in wrestling history and they’re in for a pretty major show. We have a double main event of Randy Savage defending the WWF Title against the Ultimate Warrior and the instant classic of Bret Hart vs. British Bulldog for the Intercontinental Title. Guess what’s headlining. Let’s get to it.

Nasty Boys/Mountie vs. Jim Duggan/Bushwhackers

This is a bonus dark match (at least on the American broadcast, though all three on the card aired on the European broadcasts). Jimmy Hart is in the villains’ corner. The fans get their chance to boo/cheer the various teams until the villains jump them from behind. This goes as well as you would expect and the ring is cleared in a hurry. Back in and the Nasty Boys are whipped into each other in the corner, followed by some double clotheslines for a bonus.

Sags beats on Butch for a bit before everything breaks down again. The villains finally get in a cheap shot to take over on Luke and a double boot to the ribs puts him down again. The chinlock goes on and it’s back to Mountie for more stomping. Sags grabs a reverse chinlock, which draws a USA chant as the British fans cheer for a New Zealander.

There’s a knee drop as Heenan goes over the specifics for the WWF rule book (I’d pay money to see that). Luke gets a boot up to knock Sags out of the air though and it’s the hot tag to Duggan to clean house. Everything breaks down and Sags elbows Mountie by mistake, allowing Duggan to get the pin at 12:34.

Rating: C. This is a good example of a case where you need to consider the spot. They weren’t going for anything important here and it wasn’t a match with any story. You had three popular wrestlers facing three villains in an easy match. The fans liked it though and that’s entirely what they were shooting for here. It would have made a fine house show opener and it worked perfectly well here.

Papa Shango vs. El Matador

Another bonus match. Shango jumps him from behind and we’re starting in a hurry. A running crossbody connects in the corner but another charge misses, allowing Matador to hit a clothesline. They head outside with Shango getting posted as Heenan thinks Matador should just give up now.

A top rope clothesline gives Matador two and there’s the flying forearm. Matador’s sleeper is broken up in a hurry and it’s time to choke in the corner. Shango drops an elbow and hits a side slam, only to miss a middle rope elbow. Another flying forearm gives Matador two but he misses a charge into the corner. The shoulder breaker finishes Matador at 6:12.

Rating: C-. Another perfectly watchable match and that’s fine for the spot they were in. Matador was always good for something like this and he could make an up and coming villain like Shango look good. It wasn’t a good match or anything, but they kept it quick and Shango didn’t quite squash him, so it worked out well enough.

Brought to you by ICO PRO. I hope they kept the receipt.

The British fans are VERY happy to have Summerslam here. This includes a kid who says that British Bulldog is going to win, whether he wants to or not. Kid sounds like he has mob connections.

Bobby Heenan has a crown. My day is complete.

Money Inc. vs. Legion of Doom

Money Inc. has Jimmy Hart in their corner but the LOD comes out on their motorcycles in a pretty famous entrance. Now granted that might be because Paul Ellering is with them and he has Rocco the Dummy on the front of his bike. In one of my favorite lines ever, Vince says that the Legion of Doom are known for their psychology in the ring. The jet lag must have gotten to him. DiBiase in white trunks still feels wrong but it isn’t as evil as I remember.

Hawk threatens him to the floor to start and then clotheslines him outside again, this time for another clothesline from Animal. It’s off to Animal for a powerslam and Hawk comes back in with a top rope shot to the arm. Now the fact that Hawk looks like he’s somewhere around Saturn makes that one a little more impressive than it sounds. IRS grabs a sleeper on Hawk but it’s broken up with a drive into the corner. The top rope clothesline misses though and Hawk falls all the way out to the floor. That’s quite the flying leap.

DiBiase comes in for a few shots and it’s already back to IRS for two off an elbow. The chinlock goes on and the villains make some changes without tags (they really should be setting a better example for the foreign fans). Back up and a double clothesline puts both of them down but IRS comes in to choke with the tag rope in the corner. Hawk powers over to the corner but the referee misses the tag (that nitwit).

As tends to be the case, the hot tag goes through a few seconds later and it’s Animal coming in to clean house. It’s a bunch of shoulders and clotheslines as everything breaks down. IRS breaks up the Doomsday Device so Animal goes with a powerslam to finish DiBiase (it wouldn’t surprise me if that was due to being scared of Hawk coming off the top) at 12:00.

Rating: C-. The crowd helped but you could tell that there was something off with the LOD. That being said, it isn’t exactly surprising that Hawk stayed in England and more or less ended the team for the time being. Hawk was a time bomb for a good while and as bad as things went, it could have been a heck of a lot worse.

Ric Flair isn’t happy that he isn’t getting his rematch for the WWF Title because he should be in the ring in the bright lights of London, England. Gene wants to know where Mr. Perfect, Flair’s crony, is, especially with the rumors of Perfect being in the corner of either Randy Savage or the Ultimate Warrior. Flair says Perfect is in the dressing room. Gene: “Whose dressing room???” Flair: “The dressing room of the winner. WOO!” I’ve always liked that one.

Virgil is ready to fight Nailz to avenge his buddy the Big Boss Man. If Virgil is your the best friend you have, getting beaten half to death with a nightstick doesn’t sound too bad.

Nailz vs. Virgil

Nailz gets a jobber entrance for some reason. Probably protecting Virgil’s star power. Nailz takes him into the corner to start and chokes a bit until Virgil hits a dropkick. That doesn’t even put Nailz down (Heenan: “He’s tough as nails!”) and it’s time for more choking. Virgil is sent outside and rammed into the apron. Back in and the standing choke finishes Virgil at 3:19.

Rating: D. This made Summerslam? It felt like something that would be a featured match on Wrestling Challenge at best and that’s hardly the kind of thing that you need to see on one of the biggest (if not the biggest) show of the year. Nothing to see here as Nailz didn’t exactly have the longest shelf life in the world.

Post match Nailz beats Virgil up even more.

Lord Alfred Hayes can’t get into Randy Savage’s dressing room but thinks Mr. Perfect is in there. He’ll keep being annoying until he finds something out.

Sherri doesn’t like the idea of Shawn Michaels and Rick Martel fighting, even though Shawn cost Martel an Intercontinental Title shot. Sherri has been with Shawn for a good while now but has been flirting with Martel. Tonight neither of them are allowed to hit each other in the face, because they’re both too handsome you see. She’ll be standing by her man, which seems to be Shawn as he calls her to go to the ring.

Rick Martel vs. Shawn Michaels

Martel is in tennis gear because it’s what models do. Sherri is with Michaels and brings out a full length mirror as Vince can’t get over the no hitting in the face thing. Vince: “This isn’t the sixth grade!” Indeed. Hitting in the face is a fourth grade thing. Vince also panics over Sherri’s outfit, which is uh, kind of incomplete in certain areas. Sherri takes some extra time disrobing Shawn because….I’m not sure really.

Feeling out process to start with Shawn trying a monkey flip, allowing Martel to cartwheel into some jumping jacks. A dropkick to the face has Sherri nervous but Martel jumps Shawn from behind. The fans seem to be behind Martel, which is rather strange to see. Martel misses a crossbody out of the corner though and the fans calm down a bit. Back up and Martel teases a right hand but stops himself and throws Shawn over the top instead. Martel takes him back inside for a backdrop and more jumping jacks but Shawn reverses an O’Connor roll for two.

After both guys pull their gear back up (with Vince and Bobby making the usual jokes), it’s Shawn getting a knee up to stop a charge in the corner. Now they trade rollups again and it’s time to get serious. They slap each other in the face, drawing Sherri to the apron for a lot of screaming….and some fainting. Shawn goes to check on her and Sherri falls out to the floor, where Martel knocks Shawn away. He gives her CPR but Shawn starts the fist fight for the double countout at 8:09, which draws Sherri back to life.

Rating: C. This was a lot different than most matches you’ll see and it worked out pretty well. It was certainly a unique way to go and given who was in there, it is hardly a surprise that they had a decent match. The Sherri stuff was interesting, though given that Shawn was supposed to headline the show, it is a bit of a downgrade.

Post match Sherri faints again so Shawn comes back to carry her away. Martel breaks that up as well, and Sherri falls down in a heap. Shawn jumps Martel again and Sherri crashes again, allowing Shawn to get her….most of the way back, until Martel finds a bucket of water and throws it on Sherri, who storms off on her own.

The Nasty Boys laugh at what happened to Sherri but are more interested in watching Savage and Warrior destroy each other. Now where is their title shot? Jimmy Hart sounds rather nervous about that question.

Tag Team Titles: Beverly Brothers vs. Natural Disasters

The Brothers are challenging and have the Genius in their corner. They jump the massive champs to start and are quickly sent into each other for a quick crash. We settle down to Typhoon missing a legdrop on Blake as everything breaks down again. Earthquake splashes typhoon in the corner by mistake, but Typhoon launches Beau to the floor on a kickout. After finding out that SHAWN MICHAELS HAS LEFT WEMBLEY STADIUM, the Beverly Blast keeps Typhoon in trouble.

A headbutt gets two as it’s strange to see someone this big taking a longer form beating. Typhoon drives over for the tag but of course the referee doesn’t see it. How do referees not get fired more often for being so inept? Typhoon gets in a double clothesline but Beau distracts Earthquake, allowing Blake to get in a shot with the metal scroll. Since Earthquake is about 28% smarter than anyone in the match, he decks Blake before the cover, allowing the hot tag to Typhoon. A belly to belly suplex plants Beau and a double shoulder puts the Brothers down. The powerslam sets up the Earthquake to retain at 10:25.

Rating: D. This was as good as the Natural Disasters vs. the Beverly Brothers for ten minutes was going to be. The Brothers were just such worthless goofs and no one bought them as a threat to the champs. The Disasters on the other hand actually felt like a team who could destroy almost anyone and it was going to take more than a couple of goofs like these two to beat them.

The Bushwhackers don’t know anything about a dentist selling them a London Bridge, but they are going to a meal at Buckingham Palace. Royal sardines are on the menu and they might get to sit on the throne. These two are just goofy fun, even though they outlived their usefulness.

Hayes thinks Perfect is in Ultimate Warrior’s dressing room but still can’t get in.

Crush vs. Repo Man

This was when Crush was on the verge of becoming the company’s breakout star but it never quite got there. Or anywhere close for that matter. Repo jumps him from behind to start but gets gorilla pressed without much effort. A backbreaker puts Repo on the floor and then Crush adds a one handed backbreaker just to show off.

As commentary talks about the WWF Title match coming up next (and nearly apologizing for making us wait so long), Crush misses a top rope knee. A faceplant gives Repo two but the kickout puts Repo on the floor. Back in and Repo dives into a powerslam, setting up the head vice for the win at 4:03.

Rating: D+. Another fast match that feels like a way to extend the show longer than it needs to be. That’s what happens when you have a two match card, but Crush was a popular guy at this point and it makes sense to feature him on a show like this. Repo Man was always good for a job and it was a quick enough squash that it wasn’t exactly worthless.

Gene throws us to a package on Savage vs. Warrior. The match was signed with Savage summing up the issue rather well: “I’M THE WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION CHAMPION AND YOU’RE NOT!” Then Ric Flair and Mr. Perfect made it clear that they weren’t happy with Flair not being in the title match and teased that they were working with both of them. The mind games were on hard and the question was who be joining forces with Perfect and Flair here. That’s quite the intriguing question, and a good way to go for something like this.

Heenan insists that he doesn’t know who sold out but Vince doesn’t believe him.

WWF Title: Ultimate Warrior vs. Randy Savage

Savage is defending and there is no sign of Flair and/or Perfect. Warrior always looked really weird in that singlet. They go nose to nose to start and shove each other away as the fans are WAY into this. Warrior shoves him down without much effort but Savage is back with a pair of clotheslines for one. Savage goes up top in a hurry but gets punched out of the air just as fast. A pair of delayed atomic drops have Savage in more trouble and a clothesline gets two.

Savage isn’t having that and punches him down, setting up a quickly broken sleeper. Warrior unloads with right hands in the corner and stomps Savage down, followed by another hard clothesline. A pull of the tights sends Warrior into the buckle though and a clothesline puts Warrior on the floor. The fans don’t like that one but Savage doesn’t seem to mind.

Back in and a pair of top rope ax handles to Warrior’s head gets two but the third is pulled out of the air for a backbreaker. The hard whips into the corner set up a bearhug for all of two seconds. Savage gets two off a small package and a swinging neckbreaker gives him a breather. Savage’s back gives out on a suplex attempt and even Warrior is smart enough to know what to do here.

A suplex makes the back worse and gets another two as they’re a little more spent than they should be after less than thirteen minutes. Warrior misses a clothesline and gets low bridged to the floor, allowing Savage to hit a top rope ax handle. There’s a ram into the steps and another into the post but Savage can’t hit a piledriver back inside.

Cue Perfect and Flair as NOW things are going to get interesting. Warrior hits a slam to damage the back again, but the splash hits knees. There’s the required double clothesline and they’re both down again. Savage is up first and glares down at Perfect and Flair, allowing Warrior to lift him up for some choking. The ref gets bumped (SHOCKING!) and it’s Warrior going up for his own ax handle.

That’s good for a very delayed two and Warrior is annoyed at the count. Warrior getting annoyed at things isn’t exactly surprising. Savage hits a piledriver but has to get the referee off the floor. During the delay, which takes quite a bit of time, Perfect comes in and holds Warrior for an illegal object shot from Flair. Somehow Savage doesn’t see that and hits the elbow, but the referee is STILL groggy so the two is delayed again. Sweet goodness get tougher referees.

Warrior starts shaking the ropes and Heenan knows what that means for Savage. There’s the flying shoulder but Perfect distracts the referee, allowing Flair to hit Warrior in the back with a chair. Savage gets that something is up and doesn’t want it that way so he kicks at Perfect. He goes up anyway and then dives at Flair, who uses the chair to blast Savage’s knee, which is enough for the countout at 26:16.

Rating: B+. This was like an amazing setup to a joke but then they forgot the punchline at the end. Allegedly the original plan called for Warrior to turn but he wouldn’t go for it, which I can understand in a way. What we got was really good, though the ending was lacking just enough to pull things down. Flair and Perfect offered some great drama though, and that’s most of what they needed to do.

Post match Flair and Perfect stay on Savage’s knee, including the Figure Four. Warrior makes the save with the chair. Warrior helps Savage up and everything is cool. The knee injury would wind up costing Savage the title, with Flair winning it a few days later.

Perfect and Flair have a plan B and they’ll get the title back.

Undertaker vs. Kamala

Dr. Harvey Wippleman introduces Kamala, who also has Kim Cheer with him. The double manager thing is completely outclassed by Paul Bearer, who leads a hearse with Undertaker standing in the back to the ring. Not quite as awesome as some he would hit later, but good for early Undertaker. We get a little change of pace here as Undertaker chokes him into the corner to start and hits Old School (assuming it’s old less than two years into his run).

Another attempt is broken up thanks to a Wippleman distraction and Kamala clotheslines him to the floor, with undertaker landing on his feet. A ram into the steps doesn’t do much damage so it’s back inside for more chopping. Undertaker is fine enough for a chokeslam, but Kim Chee comes in with the pith helmet (get a chair dude) for the DQ at 3:40.

Rating: D-. I’m thinking this got cut short on time or something because what in the world is the point of a big entrance like that for a three and a half minute match? Then again, was anyone buying Kamala as a major threat? Maybe back in 1986 but against Undertaker? It really was a weird time for Undertaker as he was one of the bigger stars around but there was no one for him to fight. That would wind up being the case for years until Mankind showed up in 1996 as a totally different kind of threat.

Post match Kamala hits a bunch of splashes, including one from the top. Undertaker sits up anyway. But yeah, Kamala was a total threat here.

British Bulldog is ready to fight for the title, even though he is worried about what the whole ordeal has done to his family. He hopes the families reunite after the match, but it’s a dream to be here with no pressure.

Bret Hart knows how to wrestle under pressure and wants Bulldog to look him in the face and say he doesn’t know him. Bulldog doesn’t seem to remember Bret introducing him to his sister. Maybe Bulldog’s dream will wind up being a nightmare.

A Scottish band called the Balboa Highlanders performs Scotland the Brave and here’s Roddy Piper to play with them in a surprise cameo. Heenan is disappointed with the lack of break dancing.

Tatanka vs. Berzerker

Final bonus match and Berzerker has Mr. Fuji with him. They go with the test of strength to start and Tatanka shoves him over the top in a surprise power display. Back in and they chop it out until Berzerker misses a dropkick. Tatanka charges into a boot in the corner though and Berzerker grabs a World’s Strongest Slam.

They head outside with Tatanka being slammed on the floor and it’s back inside. Make that outside again as Tatanka clotheslines him over the top and hits his own slam on the floor. Serves the Minnesota viking (….hey) right. Back in and some chops set up a top rope chop into the Papoose To Go to finish Berzerker at 5:03.

Rating: D+. This was the weakest of the three bonus matches and I can see why it was cut from the pay per view. Granted they probably needed something for some breathing room between the show’s three big matches. These two were as stereotypical as you could get, but they weren’t out there long and the ending was clean so it’s hard to complain that much.

Sean Mooney talks to Diana Smith at ringside and she sounds as emotional as….I’ve heard more intense grilled cheese orders. She wants everything to work out but she’s on the front line with both her brother and husband.

Intercontinental Title: Bret Hart vs. British Bulldog

Bret is defending and you might have heard of this one before. Bulldog has British boxing champion Lennox Lewis carrying the flag to the ring. Bret gets quite the reaction as well but I think you know who the face is here. The bell rings and after the handing out of the sunglasses, we’re ready to go. They go nose to nose to start and Bret shoves him away, so Bulldog shoves him a little bit harder. A hard shoulder puts Bret on the floor and it’s time to rethink things a bit.

Back in and Bret headlock takeovers him down before hitting an uppercut (Heenan: “Right in the old fish and chips.”). Bulldog reverses an armbar into one of his own and then catapults Bret face first into the corner. A lifting armbar doesn’t quite work so it’s a crucifix for two on Hart instead. We’re right back to the armbar as Heenan does his old “the crowd is so loud I can’t hear commentary” deal.

Back up and Bret knees him in the ribs, much to the fans’ disapproval. The chinlock doesn’t last long either so Bret hits a backbreaker and grabs it again. That’s broken up and Bulldog hits a monkey flip, only to charge into a boot in the corner. The bulldog hits the Bulldog and Bret goes up, earning himself a slam back down (How do you make that mistake on a show with Flair?). Bret sends him outside and hits a slingshot dive, landing on a completely unprepared Bulldog, nearly breaking his back in the process.

The Russian legsweep gives Bret two and he hammers away with right hands. We’re back to the chinlock (with Bret’s back to the camera, showing he doesn’t understand wrestling), followed by the snap suplex and another chinlock. Bulldog grabs a quick backslide for two in the hope spot but Bret is right back with the middle rope elbow. We’re back to the chinlock, which is switched into a sleeper to put Bulldog in even more trouble. Bulldog grabs the rope and Bret grabs the sleeper again as things go right back down.

That’s broken up and they slug it out, with Bulldog trying a gorilla press and dropping Bret HARD onto the ropes for a scary crash. Three clotheslines give Bulldog two and it’s a gorilla press into the delayed suplex for the same. Bret is back with a German suplex for the same, as Bobby insists that Ric Flair could kick out of all of this of course.

Bulldog crotches him on top and hits a top rope superplex (without much elevation, which isn’t a good thing) for the next near fall. There’s a double clothesline and they’re both down, but Bret ties the legs together into the Sharpshooter (always cool). The rope is grabbed so Bret tries a sunset flip, only to have Bulldog sit down on it for the pin, the title, and one of the all time loud roars at 25:14.

Rating: A+. Yeah what else is there to say here? It’s a masterpiece, and mainly because of Hart. Bulldog was infamously out of it throughout the match and had to be told what to do every step of the way. It is an amazing match and probably Bret’s all time performance, which is probably why he was WWF Champion before the end of the year. Great stuff here and I’m sure you know that already.

Post match Bret isn’t happy but eventually shakes his hand. Diana comes in to join them to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. There’s a lot of bad on the show but the bad matches are mostly short and the two great ones are both rather long. Those are more than enough to carry the show and the huge atmosphere are more than enough to carry to a high level. It’s an excellent show and easily the biggest Summerslam ever. Now go back to England again for another big pay per view already. It’s not like it’s hard to make it work these days.

Ratings Comparison

Jim Duggan/Bushwhackers vs. Mountie/Nasty Boys

Original: B

2013 Redo: C+

2020 Redo: C

Papa Shango vs. Tito Santana

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2020 Redo: C-

Tatanka vs. Berzerker

Original: C

2013 Redo: D

2020 Redo: D+

Legion of Doom vs. Money Inc.

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C-

2020 Redo: C-

Nailz vs. Virgil

Original: C

2013 Redo: F

2020 Redo: D

Shawn Michaels vs. Rick Martel

Original: B

2013 Redo: D+

2020 Redo: C

Beverly Brothers vs. Natural Disasters

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2020 Redo: D

Repo Man vs. Crush

Original: C+

2013 Redo: D

2020 Redo: D+

Ultimate Warrior vs. Randy Savage

Original: A

2013 Redo: B+

2020 Redo: B+

Kamala vs. Undertaker

Original: C

2013 Redo: D

2020 Redo: D-

British Bulldog vs. Bret Hart

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2020 Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: A+

2013 Redo: B+

2020 Redo: B

Close enough.

Here is the original review if you are interested:

And the 2013 Redo:

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Summerslam 1989
Date: August 28, 1989
Location: Meadowlands Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 20,000
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jesse Ventura

It’s the second edition of the show and again the main event is a tag match featuring Hulk Hogan and his best friend of the moment. In this case it’s Brutus Beefcake, teaming with Hogan against Zeus and Randy Savage. Other than that, the big story is Ultimate Warrior challenging Rick Rude for the Intercontinental Title. Let’s get to it.

Commentary welcomes us to the show and hypes up the main event.

Opening video, which might as well be any weekly TV show, albeit with some people doing….I guess you could call them Summery things.

Brainbusters vs. Hart Foundation

The Busters’ (with Bobby Heenan) Tag Team Titles aren’t on the line because they won the titles after the contract was signed, which is kind of a stretch to put it mildly. Hart and Tully start things off and Ventura acknowledges how good these two are in the ring. Anderson comes in with a drop toehold but Hart is right back on the arm. A hammerlock slam has Anderson in more trouble and it’s off to Neidhart.

The Harts take turns working on the arm but Anderson gets over for the tag…which doesn’t count as Blanchard’s foot was on the bottom rope. That’s not something you see very often. Anderson kicks Hart away and brings Blanchard back in, only for Hart to catch his kick to the ribs. The Harts start in on Blanchard’s arm for a change and even change behind the referee’s back as the referee is arguing with Anderson.

Blanchard’s chops have no effect and it’s back to Hart to work on the arm as Ventura can’t believe how one sided this has been so far. Blanchard reverses into a top wristlock but Hart bridges up (that’s impressive) and then flips away when Anderson grabs a double top wristlock (that’s impressive too). The Busters are double armdragged to the floor and Heenan wants a conference.

That doesn’t work for Neidhart, who throws Blanchard back in for a slugout with Hart. Blanchard manages to make a blind tag to Anderson and Hart is knocked down, but a Vader Bomb misses. Everything breaks down and the Busters are knocked outside again. Back in and Blanchard is sent face first into Neidhart’s boot and everything breaks down again. Neidhart is sent chest first into the buckle and Anderson gets to talk some trash. Blanchard grabs a reverse chinlock until Neidhart powers up, only for Anderson to come back in off another blind tag.

Back up and Anderson and Neidhart collide for a double down. That’s enough for Neidhart to bring Hart back in to hammer on Blanchard in the corner. Everything breaks down and Hart collides with Blanchard. Neidhart powerslams Hart onto Blanchard but Heenan has the referee. Anderson hits a middle rope ax handle and covers (while covering his head so the referee can’t tell he’s the illegal man in a brilliant move) for the pin at 15:57.

Rating: B+. Awesome match to start the show here with two all time great teams having an excellent match. The idea here was that the Harts were the better team, at least on this night, but Heenan (and then Anderson) cheating at the end was enough to turn things around. This was about two teams who knew what they were doing getting the chance to showcase themselves and believe it or not, it worked great.

Dusty Rhodes, in a snazzy hat, is ready for his match against the Honky Tonk Man. He hasn’t been this excited since his first date with Sally Good. Honky Tonk Man has been saying that Rhodes can’t wrestle and it’s time to prove that wrong. Rhodes was clearly having a blast here.

Dusty Rhodes vs. Honky Tonk Man

Jimmy Hart is here with Honky Tonk Man. Believe it or not, there is some stalling to start with both of them dancing a bit. Rhodes backs him into the corner about a minute in and hits a backdrop but it’s way too early for the big elbow. Back in and Rhodes works on the arm before messing with Honky Tonk Man’s hair. The atomic drop sets up an elbow to the head as it’s all Rhodes thus far.

Rhodes cranks on the leg a bit but Honky Tonk Man gets out and fires off some right hands. That’s broken up so Hart tries a distraction, which fails miserably as Rhodes chases him off. The distraction does let Hart slip Honky Tonk Man the megaphone for a shot to the ribs and the villain takes over. Hart gets in a bit of choking (Ventura: “Don’t you just love him Tony?”) and we’re off to the chinlock.

This stays on for a LONG time, with Ventura getting in a rant about how Rhodes is one of those annoying wrestlers who gets inspiration from the fans. Rhodes finally fights up and slugs away, looking a good bit like Apollo Creed in the process. Honky Tonk Man sends him into the referee so he calls for the guitar. Hart hits Honky Tonk Man by mistake though and Rhodes drops the big elbow for the pin at 9:42.

Rating: C+. I remember not liking this match very much before but, aside from the LONG chinlock, it really is a lot of fun. Rhodes knows exactly how to play to the crowd and make something like this goofy fun. The dancing turned it into a funny enough comedy match and I liked it more than I did in previous viewings. Fun stuff.

Post match Honky Tonk Man talks about Priscilla and Lisa Marie. He has a concert to do so someone help him find the stage. Yeah he’s fine.

Demolition and Jim Duggan (who is the King, meaning he has an American flag, the crown, a Demolition mask and an American flag 2×4 with a crown of its own) are ready for the Twin Towers and Andre The Giant. They’ve been flipping cars over and now it’s King Demolition, because Duggan wants to break things. Duggan’s look was so insane that I had fun with this.

Red Rooster vs. Mr. Perfect

They shove each other to start until Rooster right hands him back. Rooster’s slam falls backwards though and Perfect hits a heck of a dropkick. Back up and Taylor sends him outside for the slugout. Back in and Perfect grabs a PerfectPlex for the win out of nowhere at 3:25. Rooster hurt his ankle/knee or something in there, hence the short match.

Rating: C. Yeah there’s only so much you can do here with so little time and Rooster getting hurt in the middle. They didn’t have a choice but to go home in a hurry and that’s the best option they had. At the same time, Perfect was on the ascension around this time and you would be seeing even more of him in the coming months.

Rick Rude promises to make Ultimate Warrior into the Ultimate Liar. Bobby Heenan promises to do whatever it takes to retain the title. This wasn’t the original version that aired, as the Summerslam sign originally fell down, causing Gene Okerlund to swear. The wrong tape was played live and Tony and Jesse were caught completely off guard. Instead, it’s just a generic heel promo.

Rockers/Tito Santana vs. Rick Martel/Rougeaus

Slick and Jimmy Hart are here with the villains and there is a lot of talent in this one. Santana wants to start with Martel but gets Jacques instead. Everything breaks down in a hurry, with Santana and the Rockers hitting dropkicks to send the other three outside. Back in and Jannetty punches Jacques out of the air but a superkick cuts him off. Jannetty fights back up and brings Santana in to face Martel, who bails outside (for some hair rubbing from Jacques).

They get back in and a shot to the knee takes Santana down. A double back elbow has Santana in more trouble, with Martel firing off some shoulders in the corner. Santana gets two off a quick sunset flip but Martel chokes him back down. It’s back to Raymond for the Boston crab before Jacques adds an abdominal stretch. The villains take turns switching without a tag and Ventura, of course, loves it. The chinlock goes on but Jacques eventually misses a running knee to Raymond.

Michaels comes in off the tag and the fans go NUTS as he cleans house. Jannetty gets backdropped onto Martel and Jacques elbows Martel by mistake. Everything breaks down and Santana forearms Martel out to the floor. The Rockers and Rougeaus brawl on the floor and Hart offers a distraction, allowing Jacques to knee Jannetty in the back. Jannetty reverses that as well but Martel gets in a cheap shot and steals the pin on Jannetty at 14:58.

Rating: B+. This was an absolute hidden gem, with everyone involved working hard with a hot finish. The fact that I’ve seen the match multiple times and was genuinely expecting Jannetty to get the pin before the last second save tells you a lot about how good this was. You had some outstanding talent in there and they had a killer match here.

Long recap of Ultimate Warrior vs. Rick Rude. Warrior lost the Intercontinental Title to Rude at Wrestlemania thanks to some cheating from Bobby Heenan so Warrior wants revenge. Rude attacked him early, with Andre the Giant playing security but not realizing that Warrior fought back. Later on, Warrior jumped Rude and beat him up for a change, only for Rude and Andre to beat Warrior up a few weeks later in quite the scary visual.

Warrior shouts a lot about the eighth wonder of the world and eating Rick Rude alive.

Intercontinental Title: Rick Rude vs. Ultimate Warrior

Rude, with Bobby Heenan, is defending. They circle each other to start with Rude realizing that he might be in trouble. Rude slugs away to no avail so Warrior clotheslines him out to the apron. Warrior knocks him to the floor, sending Ventura into a rant about how none of this is legal and how Schiavone is dumber than Gorilla Monsoon. Back in and Warrior hits a top rope ax handle for two.

The atomic drop gives us the required funny sell from Rude, with Warrior doing his own hip swivel. Rude gets in a cheap shot to the back and starts hammering away, setting up a suplex for two. We hit the reverse chinlock to stay on the bad ribs but Warrior is fine enough to block the Rude Awakening. Rude tries a sleeper instead, with Warrior countering but taking out the referee by mistake. Warrior hammers away and hits a powerslam but there is still no referee.

A piledriver gets a VERY delayed two thanks to the foot on the ropes. Warrior hits another running powerslam but the splash hits raised knees. Rude is back up with a piledriver of his own (though he knees forward like a Tombstone for a weird twist) for two of his own and he drops a top rope fist for the same.

Cue Roddy Piper (already having issues with Rude) as Rude hits another piledriver for two more (geez and I thought AEW killed that move)…and Piper distracts Rude by lifting up his kilt. Warrior German suplexes him off the middle rope and hits a flying shoulder into the gorilla press and Warrior Splash for the title at 16:03.

Rating: B-. While it’s not quite as good as the Wrestlemania version, this was another good match from two guys who certainly worked well together. That’s all it needed to be, with Warrior getting the title back on the way to his main event push. Rude didn’t feel like a flash in the pan and got a lout out of being champion, with what feels like an awesome feud against Piper coming up.

Sean Mooney is in the crowd and thinks this is awesome, even as Ventura rants about Piper.

Mr. Perfect calls the Red Rooster a stepping stone.

Roddy Piper laughs at Bobby Heenan’s loss and blows his nose before praising the Ultimate Warrior. OF COURSE he cost Rude the title. Why would you have expected anything else?

Ronnie Garvin, in a tuxedo, says he has a special assignment tonight but Bobby Heenan comes in to rant about how Piper had NO REASON to be at ringside. Rick Rude comes in and does NOT like being called the former champion. Rude rants about Piper and promises to be the champion again. Heenan wants the match started again and can’t even speak from being so upset.

We get a five minute intermission, thankfully cut out on Peacock.

We get a recap of Hulk Hogan vs. Zeus, which started back in May when Zeus beat him down before a cage match on Saturday Night’s Main Event. The idea was that Zeus was the villain in the movie No Holds Barred but wants a real life fight. Naturally he’s called Zeus (the character’s name) rather than anything else, because Hogan, real person, is fighting Zeus, the movie character. Maybe it’s better if you don’t think about it too much. Anyway Hogan hit Zeus with a chair to no effect but maybe he can make it work in a tag match.

Demolition/Jim Duggan vs. Twin Towers/Andre The Giant

Bobby Heenan and Slick are here with the heels (Big Boss Man and Akeem as the Towers if you’re not familiar). Duggan even has the American flag face paint in case the other four things weren’t enough. Demolition work on Akeem’s arm to start and pound him down as they are known to do. Ax elbows Akeem down but it’s quickly off to the Boss Man, who gets chopped in the head.

It’s back to Ax to hammer away but Boss Man manages a few shots of his own in the corner. Duggan comes in to start on the arm but Ax allows the tag to Andre, meaning it’s time for the real beating to begin. That’s broken up rather quickly and it’s off to Smash, who (rather easily) slams Akeem, only to get dropped by a single shot from Andre. The splash connects but Duggan blasts Akeem with the 2×4 to give Smash the pin at 7:29.

Rating: B-. I’ve long since been a Demolition fan and this was a good example of why. There was something so fun about watching them hammer people down, as they lived up to the idea of demolishing them. Good effort here, even if it was clear that Andre’s body was breaking down in a hurry.

Ted DiBiase, with Virgil, is ready to beat Jimmy Snuka.

Greg Valentine vs. Hercules

Ronnie Garvin is guest ring announcer, having been suspended as a wrestler and referee, and doesn’t think much of Valentine. Garvin introduces Valentine as “his so called opponent” with a pipsqueak of a manager named Jimmy Hart, who claims to be from Seattle, Washington and who Garvin thinks is overweight by about 30lbs. Oh and his robe is covered with cheap rhinestones and you can’t tell if he’s coming or going.

Hercules slugs away to start and knocks Valentine to the floor, including a beating in the timekeeper’s area. Back in and Valentine slugs him down but the figure four is broken up. A suplex goes to Hercules and he hammers away in the corner, only for Valentine to sweep the legs and get a cheating rollup for the pin at 3:04.

Rating: C. Despite my eternal dislike of Garvin, the feud with Valentine was funny and if he could have done a better series of insults to start, it would have been even better. The match itself was nothing, but dang it was funny watching Valentine getting angrier and angrier at Garvin. Fun stuff here, with the match being an afterthought.

And hang on as Garvin calls Hercules the winner, and after some consultation, Hercules is indeed named the winner by DQ. Valentine decks Garvin and slugs it out with Hercules but Garvin gets up and drops Valentine with the big right hand.

Randy Savage, Sherri and Zeus are around a cauldron and promise to destroy Hulk Hogan and Brutus Beefcake. Sherri sees Hogan and Beefcake defeated and Savage sees…uh, the same thing. Oh and Elizabeth will be destroyed too. This is still one of the weirdest promos I’ve ever seen.

Ted DiBiase vs. Jimmy Snuka

Virgil is here with DiBiase, who brags about ending Jake Roberts’ career. DiBiase jumps him to start but Snuka fights back for a knock out tot he floor. Virgil gets decked as well and an atomic drop sends DiBiase over the floor (with one of his always great bumps). Back in and DiBiase shrugs off a ram into the buckle and hammers Snuka into the corner.

Snuka fights back until he charges into a hot shot, followed by a backbreaker. The falling elbow misses though and Snuka hits a top rope headbutt. Instead of covering he goes up though, allowing Virgil to offer a distraction. DiBiase is back up with a posting for the countout at 6:26.

Rating: C. Not much to this one, as it was little more than a midcard match between two guys who weren’t as big as they used to be. It seemed like more of a filler match to get us to the main event, which isn’t a great sign for someone who headlined this show last year. Not bad, but you could cut this from the card and not lose a thing.

Post match Snuka jumps both villains and hits the Superfly Splash on Virgil.

Sean Mooney is still in the crowd and still doesn’t have much to say.

Hulk hogan and Brutus Beefcake talk about….Moses and the parting of the Red Sea? Brutus talks about the sharpness of his blades and Hogan talks about some sexy legs wrapped around his motorcycle. Somehow, less weird than the cauldron. Not much less, but less.

The Genius reads a poem about Hogan and Beefcake losing because they don’t have the cards.

Randy Savage/Zeus vs. Hulk Hogan/Brutus Beefcake

Sherri is here with Savage and Zeus so Hogan has Miss Elizabeth introduced, freaking Savage out all over again. With that out of the way, Zeus chokes Hogan down to start and grabs the bearhug, with Savage adding a top rope ax handle to the back. Savage grabs a sleeper before it’s back to Zeus for the bearhug.

That stays on for a good while until it’s back to Savage, who gets suplexed down. It’s finally off to Beefcake for the running knee and a sleeper but Savage sends him into the buckle. Zeus comes back in so beefcake rakes his eyes and grabs the sleeper again. Sherri slips in the loaded purse though and Savage gets in the big cheap shot. The slow beating ensues with both villains getting in some choking.

Beefcake finally gets in a shot of his own though and it’s back to Hogan, who boots Savage to the floor. Zeus drops Hogan again so Savage comes in for the elbow….and Hogan pops up. Hogan slugs away on Zeus and a clothesline finally puts him down on one knee. Sherri tries to come in but Elizabeth shoves her in. Beefcake shoves Savage, with the purse, off the top. The loaded purse to the face rocks Zeus and Hogan slam him down. The legdrop finishes for Hogan at 15:12.

Rating: C. Maybe it’s the lack of Jesse Ventura as the referee, or a monster who knew what he was doing in the ring (not Zeus’ fault) but this falls pretty far from last year’s similar main event. I kept losing interest in this one and that’s not a good sign for the main event. If nothing else, it didn’t feel like some big blowoff, even with Hogan getting the pin on Zeus. Not much of a main event here, but to be fair they only had three wrestlers doing the work of four.

Post match Hogan and Beefcake hold them off with the sheers and CUT SHERRI’S HAIR. Posing ends the show.

Overall Rating: B. This show starts off great and then kind of sputters out near the end, but I had a lot more fun this time around than I was expecting. That was a nice surprise and at just over two and a half hours, it certainly doesn’t overstay its welcome. That first six man is more than worth a look and the opener is a genuine dream match from this era. It’s not an all timer, but it would have been very close with a better main event.

Ratings Comparison

Original: B+
2013 Redo: B
2025 Redo: B+

Honky Tonk Man vs. Dusty Rhodes

Original: F
2013 Redo: D-
2025 Redo: C+

Mr. Perfect vs. Red Rooster

Original: C+
2013 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C

Rick Martel/Fabulous Rougeaus vs. Tito Santana/Rockers

Original: B+
2013 Redo: B
2025 Redo: B+

Ultimate Warrior vs. Rick Rude

Original: A-
2013 Redo: B
2025 Redo: B-

Jim Duggan/Demolition vs. Andre the Giant/Twin Towers

Original: C+
2013 Redo: C
2025 Redo: B-

Hercules vs. Greg Valentine

Original: F-
2013 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C

Ted DiBiase vs. Jimmy Snuka

Original: D
2013 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C

Hulk Hogan/Brutus Beefcake vs. Randy Savage/Zeus

Original: B-
2013 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: C

Overall Rating

Original: B-
2013 Redo: C+
2025 Redo B

Yeah it’s better than I said, especially Rhodes vs. Honky Tonk Man.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Crunch Classic
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan, Lord Alfred Hayes, Sean Mooney
Host: Roddy Piper

It’s a Coliseum Video and I’m curious to see what it includes. These things can go all over the place and that’s what makes them so much fun. Hopefully they focus on some of the more talented stars, as you can get some great matches, but you can also get some of the weirdest choices you’ll ever see. I’m not sure what to expect here and that makes it fun so let’s get to it.

This seems to be from 1992.

Host Roddy Piper welcomes us to the show and goes over some of his most famous moments (Cyndi Lauper, Mr. T., Jimmy Snuka), but he never won a title…until he met the Mountie.

From the 1992 Royal Rumble.

Intercontinental Title: Roddy Piper vs. The Mountie

The Mountie, with Jimmy Hart, is defending after winning the title from Bret Hart a few days earlier. Piper throws a jacket over Mountie’s face to start and hammers away, with Mountie bailing out to the floor. Back in and Mountie chokes on the rope but tries a monkey flip, only to get punched in the head.

A bulldog out of the corner drops Mountie as the fans are going nuts here as they realize Piper has a real chance. Mountie sends him into the corner to take over and the jumping elbow connects for two. Piper pops back up and hammers away, followed by a backdrop to send Mountie flying. The atomic drop sends Mountie over the top but he skins the cat, only to be sent into an interfering Hart. The sleeper gives Piper the title at 5:21.

Rating: C+. This was a case where it was all about the moment, as the Mountie was never going to be a major threat to beating Piper. The fans were with this the entire way and it was awesome to see Piper FINALLY get a title. No it wasn’t much of a match, but it doesn’t need to be but the point was the big moment and it more than worked.

Post match Piper gives Mountie the shock stick and gets the big AND NEW moment to an eruption. You can tell the fans are behind this and that’s awesome to see.

Piper loved that moment and it was the best day of his life….except maybe today.

From Dayton Ohio, October 22, 1991.

Money Inc. vs. Virgil/Big Boss Man

IRS and DiBiase get separate entrances (with Sensational Sherri coming to the ring with DiBiase) but Mooney calls the Money Inc. Virgil is the Million Dollar Champion. Boss Man shoves IRS around to start and Sherri is ticked off as Virgil and DiBiase come in. DiBiase doesn’t like the threat of fisticuffs and IRS offers a distraction to draw in the Boss Man

That’s enough for some evil double teaming and Virgil is in trouble (some things never change). DiBiase gets two off a suplex and IRS’ legdrop gets the same. Virgil fights up with a shot of his own and it’s back to Boss Man to hit a splash. It’s already back to Virgil for a top rope ax handle as everything breaks down. Sherri tries a shoe shot but hits IRS by mistake, allowing Virgil to get the rollup pin at 7:03.

Rating: C. It’s a perfectly decent tag match, though it also felt like it was something that belonged on a tape like this. Money Inc. would obviously get a lot better and were still figuring things out. Oddly the lack of Sherri helped them, as she didn’t really fit in here and would be much better off when she switched to Shawn Michaels not long after this.

Post match IRS yells at Sherri, who has to calm things down before DiBiase and IRS come to blows.

We get a day in the life of Jimmy Hart. He arrives in a rental car because the airline screwed up his limo. He goes into his hotel in Indianapolis and has to check all of his guys in. Most of his wrestlers have already arrived but his room won’t be ready for three hours. There is however a room ready in the basement, which he’ll take over nothing. We go to said basement, where Mountie needs help getting his shock stick working. IRS has also called, saying his plane was late and Mountie needs to just trust him.

Later, Money Inc. interrupt Hart when he is on the phone and ask about IRS’ briefcase. Hart gives him his newly initialed Tag Team Title and everyone is happy. After Hart asks someone about the Arsenio Hall Show and a movie, we cut to Hart asleep in his hotel room. The phone rings (Hart picks up a banana by mistake) and apparently DiBiase’s belt isn’t ready yet. And apparently the Nasty Boys have done…something.

Later, the Nasty Boys are warming up in the bathroom when Hart comes in, saying the bell rang and they need to go to the ring. Again later, Hart FINALLY goes to his hotel room while talking about how hard it is to manage this many wrestlers. And then his room key doesn’t work. I liked this, as it wasn’t exactly funny, but it was the kind of behind the scenes stuff you don’t often get. Of course managers have been a thing forever in wrestling and it’s kind of interesting to see what they do outside of the ring. It’s not some brilliant idea or classic moment, but it was nice for a five minute segment that went in a unique direction.

From Austin, Texas, December 4, 1991.

Nasty Boys vs. New Foundation

Jimmy Hart is here with the Boys and gets chased off by Neidhart to start. Knobbs knocks him into the corner but Neidhart isn’t having that and sends both Boys outside. Hart hits a heck of a dive and moonsaults back inside as the Boys need a breather. Knobbs comes back inside and gets his arm cranked but goes to the eyes. Sags comes in and gets armbarred as well, with Hart driving a knee into the arm.

Neidhart gets to stay on the arm before handing it right back to Hart, who gets choked on the ropes for a change. Sags’ chinlock with a knee in the back doesn’t really do much good so Knobbs drops some elbows to keep Hart down. The reverse chinlock does on but Hart is right back up to slingshot Neidhart in with a double shoulder. Neidhart shoulders Knobbs for two but Sags throws the referee out for the DQ at 7:28.

Rating: C. There were some nice moments in there but you could only get so much out of a match with so many chinlocks in not very much time. That’s where a lot of these matches tend to go and to be fair, it’s better to have the Nastys keeping it basic here if they can’t do a brawl. The New Foundation is a better team than they get credit for, as they’re always going to be compared to the original Harts, which just isn’t fair. They were good at their own style though, even with those amazing pants.

Roddy Piper talks about beating Adrian Adonis at Wrestlemania III in front of 92,000 fans, with Jimmy Hart getting beaten up there too. And let’s look at the match!

From Wrestlemania III.

Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis

Hair vs. hair. This is weird as Gorilla Monsoon and Lord Alfred Hayes have redone the commentary, which just sounds so wrong after seeing Wrestlemania so many times. They go straight to the fight and Piper pulls out a belt to unload on Adonis. Hart tries to come in and gets sent into Adonis, allowing Piper to hammer away in the corner. Hart’s cheap shot from the floor takes Piper out though and Adonis hits a big clothesline.

Piper gets knocked outside and even Hart gets in a cheap shot. Back in and Piper tells him to bring it so Adonis slugs away, followed by the sleeper. Piper sends him into the corner but can’t escape and goes down, meaning it’s two arm drops…and Adonis lets go before the third, meaning Piper is still in it. Hart gets inside to celebrate but Piper is back up and avoids a big swing of the hedge clippers, which hit Adonis in his own face. Piper’s sleeper gets the win at 6:34.

Rating: B-. It’s always fun to see this match, but dang it makes me want to watch the original as the lack of Jesse Ventura takes something away. I do like that they threw in a classic match here, as it’s certainly more memorable than having the same midcard stuff that regularly populates these things. This was a nice flashback and ties in well with the Piper theme of the tape, but it does kind of make the rest of the lame stuff stand out.

Post match Brutus Beefcake comes in to give Adonis the haircut, with Piper loving the whole thing.

From Dayton, Ohio, October 23, 1991.

Undertaker vs. British Bulldog

This is a Fan Favorite request and Paul Bearer is here with Undertaker. Bulldog gets knocked into the corner to start, with Bulldog doing the slow look at him. Back up and a clothesline puts Undertaker on the floor, though of course he sticks the landing. A Stunner over the top rope drops Bulldog and Undertaker chokes away back inside.

Bulldog is knocked outside again but is quickly back inside to avoid an elbow. Undertaker goes with that annoying smother thing he did at this point and then falls on Bulldog to counter a slam attempt. The delayed vertical suplex (ok that’s not bad) connects, as does the powerslam, which draws Bearer up for the distraction. Undertaker gets in an urn shot for the pin at 7:10.

Rating: C. This is a match that could have worked a lot better with some more time and a bit less of the smother hold. Bulldog could make a heck of a comeback if he was given the chance but Undertaker hadn’t figured out a lot of his stuff just yet. The match was picking up near the end and that suplex was rather impressive.

Post match Bulldog clotheslines him outside for daring to try the body bag.

From Austin, Texas, December 4, 1991.

Texas Tornado vs. Rick Martel

This would have been a way different match about five years earlier. Martel poses to start and then hides behind the referee. The kick to the ribs is cut off though and Tornado sends him straight into the corner. A running clothesline sends Martel outside and Tornado rams the arm into the post. Back in and Tornado starts cranking on the arm but misses a charge to post his own shoulder. Martel goes up and dives right into the Claw, which is broken up in the ropes. That’s enough for Martel, who sprays Arrogance in Tornado’s eyes for the DQ at 6:00.

Rating: D+. The Tornado just did not have it anymore at this point and that was becoming more and more obvious every time he was in the ring. Martel is an incredibly talented star but there is only so much he can do when Tornado was basically sleep walking through the whole thing. It’s kind of amazing that Tornado lasted so long, because this wasn’t working in the slightest and pretty much never did after his initial appearances.

Roddy Piper doesn’t like snakes so let’s go to Jake Roberts, who thinks snakes should be your pets. They’ll eat anything and you don’t have to feed them every day. We look at the famous cobra biting Randy Savage segment before Roberts shows us a bunch of snakes. And that’s it.

From Cornwall, Ontario, Canada, September 10, 1991.

Skinner vs. Jim Neidhart

Neidhart chases him up the aisle to start and they go back inside for a hearty shove. Skinner is right back with a running shoulder and a hiptoss before they’re back up for a standoff. A headlock works a bit better, only for Neidhart to send him crashing out to the floor again. That works so well that Neidhart does it again with a clothesline, meaning it’s time for the long for stalling.

Back in and Neidhart gets his own headlock, which does on for a little while until Skinner heads outside again. This time Skinner finds his alligator claw to hit Neidhart in the throat, setting up a reverse chinlock. That’s broken up so Skinner…grabs the same thing again. Neidhart fights up again and hits a flying shoulder, followed by some rams into the turnbuckle. They brawl out to the floor and that’s a time limit draw at 13:20. No time is given but just be grateful for what you get.

Rating: D+. They were making it pretty clear that it was there to get to the time limit and nothing else, which is something that makes sense in some matches. This however, was Skinner vs. Jim Neidhart and not one of those matches. Skinner wasn’t a big star but he would get the occasional Intercontinental Title shot, so you would think he could go over a tag guy like Neidhart in a singles match, but why do that when you can have a bizarre time limit instead?

From Lubbock, Texas, January 27, 1992.

Jim Duggan/Sgt. Slaughter vs. Natural Disasters

Jimmy Hart is here with the Disasters. Duggan and Typhoon start things off with Typhoon shoving him away. Three straight clotheslines put Typhoon down and it’s off to Slaughter, who actually backs him into the corner. It’s already back to Duggan, with Earthquake grabbing him from the apron so Typhoon can take over. Earthquake drives Duggan into the corner and drops the jumping elbow for two.

Typhoon chokes on the ropes and grabs a bearhug, followed by Earthquake’s backbreaker. Earthquake gets his own bearhug and then Typhoon comes back in…for a third bearhug. Since that has to be broken up rather quickly, Earthquake misses a charge into the corner and it’s Slaughter coming back in to clean house. Everything breaks down and a double splash in the corner crushes Slaughter. Earthquake brings in the megaphone so Duggan grabs the 2×4 and wrecks everyone for the DQ at 9:20.

Rating: D. You really shouldn’t be getting to a third bearhug in a match that doesn’t even make it to ten minutes (or most matches for that matter). That’s on top of a lame DQ ending, as again, neither Duggan nor Slaughter could take a pin from a pair of monsters. It’s another bad match to end the tape on a rough note, making me question the “classic” moniker.

Piper wraps us up and a Piper montage ends things.

Overall Rating: D+. This started off ok and then fell apart fast. It’s a bad sign when you have to go back to the previous decade to get what is probably the best thing on the whole tape. The matches were just kind of dull and the last few were pretty terrible. Piper is fun due to energy and charisma alone, but he can only do so much, even when he’s the biggest name on the whole thing. Find something else. Like Wrestlemania III. Or the 1992 Royal Rumble.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Best Of Haku
Commentators: Lord Alfred Hayes, Gorilla Monsoon, Duke Doherty, Jim Duggan, Sean Mooney, Tony Schiavone, Larry Zbyszko, Bobby Heenan, Scott Hudson

I’ve got a huge list of things from the WWE Vault to look at so I might as well do one of the scariest people in wrestling history. Haku is the definition of a solid career midcard guy and that is something you don’t see enough of today. I’m curious about what is going to be included here and that’s a nice feeling to have. Let’s get to it.

We get the usual quick opening video.

From New York City, New York, June 14, 1986.

King Tonga vs. Big John Studd

Bobby Heenan is here with Studd and Tonga wants his $15,000 for recently slamming Studd (a running thing for him) but gets knocked away instead. Studd slams him at the bell and stomps away but Tonga is back up rather quickly. Some slam attempts are blocked and Studd drops him again for an elbow. The chinlock goes on as commentary praises the camera looking at Heenan. Tonga fights up and kicks away, including a dropkick to stagger Studd. Another slam attempt sees them both crash out to the floor for the double countout at 3:49.

Rating: C. Not the best start to the collection, but Tonga oddly worked as a good guy. They did have a nice story going with the battle over the slam and Tonga was right there to fight against the monster. Studd wasn’t the most active in the ring but he knew how to wrestle like a big man, which is a difficult skill to use. Better than I was expecting here.

Post match they brawl on the floor for a few minutes, with Heenan not being sure what to do. Tonga gets in the ring and dances at Studd to try and get him back, with Studd getting inside to go at it again. A big headbutt drops Studd and the villains bail.

From New York City, New York, August 22, 1987.

Haku vs. Rick Martel

Off to the better known name now, with Tama (Rikishi’s brother, Usos/Solo Sikoa’s uncle, Jacob Fatu’s father) here in Haku’s corner and no partner for Martel. Apparently he realizes that’s a problem though and runs to the back to get Tito Santana, with the team being dubbed Strike Force.

Actually hold on as the referee ejects Tama and Santana so this can be a singles match. Haku jumps him to start so they run the ropes, with Martel hitting a crossbody. A headknocker knocks Haku’s head but he’s back with a cheap shot to drop Martel for a change. Martel hits a dropkick into a flying headscissors for two and a snapmare brings Haku down again.

Back up and Haku knocks him back down, followed by the slam (a theme with him) and a reverse chinlock. Martel fights up and hits the spinning middle rope crossbody for two, only to get launched out to the floor. Back in and Martel sends him into the corner and starts striking away. A monkey flip sends Haku flying again but he knocks Martel right back down. Cue Tama with a chair to Martel to give Haku the easy pin at 8:18.

Rating: C+. The more I see of Martel, the better he seems. He was so talented in pretty much every aspect of wrestling and that was on display here, as he made a heck of a fired up comeback. The teams would wind up having some rather nice matches (shocking I know) but this worked well as a singles match for a change.

Post match the Islanders beat Martel down but Santana runs in for the save.

From New York City, New York, September 21, 1987.

Islanders vs. Strike Force

Bobby Heenan is here with the Islanders and Strike Force, now with matching gear and Girls In Cars, run in for the brawl to start fast and the fans are rather pleased as the Islanders are knocked outside. A dropkick sends Tama outside and it’s time to hide in the ropes rather than go for the fight.

Back in and Santana works on Tama’s arm, followed by a clothesline as Heenan is panicking at ringside. The armdrag sets up an armbar, which goes on for a good while. Santana’s armdrag means it’s another armbar but Haku knocks him up against the ropes for a change. That allows Tama to come back in for an elbow to the face, followed by Haku’s front facelock. Tama’s nerve hold does about the same but Santana fights up and gets over for the tag to Martel, meaning the comeback can quickly ensue.

A crossbody hits Tama and everything breaks down, with the Islanders being sent into each other. Haku gets in a cheap shot on Martel though and gets to come back in and stomp on the ropes. Well on Martel on the ropes but close enough. Tama misses a middle rope headbutt though and the tag brings in Santana…but the referee doesn’t see it. That lets Haku drop a headbutt and steal the pin at 13:59.

Rating: B. Yeah this worked, with Strike Force both knowing how to do the big comeback, which had the fans more than behind them. At the same time, the Islanders were a good heel team who knew how to work this style. The cheating ending makes it even better and I could go for a rematch.

From Wrestlemania VII.

Haku/Barbarian vs. Rockers

Well we’re only skipping three and a half years and Bobby Heenan is outside. Michaels and Haku start things off with Haku powering him into the corner. An attempted jump over the top doesn’t really work so Michaels has him run the ropes until a flying shoulder can put Haku down for a change. Jannetty comes in for the double elbow but the Barbarian clotheslines both of them down.

That earns him a double superkick (serves him right for coming in without a tag) and Heenan wants to talk for a bit. We settle down to Jannetty trying a sunset flip on Barbarian, who misses a right hand to the mat instead. Back up and Michaels adds a dropkick to the back to knock Barbarian into a hurricanrana.

That just earns Jannetty a double headbutt and another hurricanrana attempt is countered into an assisted hot shot (that looked great). The gorilla press drops Jannetty again and Haku gets in a cheap shot from the apron. Barbarian knocks him down again and grabs a bearhug, leaving Michaels to play cheerleader.

Jannetty fights out and is promptly powerslammed, only for Barbarian’s top rope headbutt to miss. That’s enough for the tag off to Michaels, who gets to clean house in a hurry. A sunset flip gets two on Haku as everything breaks down. Barbarian gets superkicked/dropkicked to the floor, leaving Jannetty to missile dropkick Haku. Michaels adds a high crossbody (and a nice one at that) for the pin at 10:33.

Rating: B-. The heat on Jannetty went on a bit too long but the Rockers could work that fast paced style comeback as well as anyone. You put an easy to like speed team against an imposing power team. That’s about as basic of a wrestling style as you can get and it worked rather well here with a fast paced opener. Nice stuff, shockingly enough for a match involving four skilled pros.

From WrestleFest 91.

Haku vs. British Bulldog

They take turns backing each other into the ropes to start and then Bulldog flips out of a wristlock. Haku goes to the face and hits a running shoulder, only to get dropkicked out to the floor. This gives us the odd visual of Haku requesting time out before coming back inside, where he is knocked down again.

Bulldog grabs a sleeper of all things before drop toeholding him into an armbar. That’s broken up as well and Haku knocks him down, followed by a piledriver for two. The chinlock goes on for a bit, with Bulldog fighting up and hitting a crossbody for two of his own. Haku knocks him right back into the chinlock, with Bulldog breaking out even faster this time. An elbow to the face gives Bulldog two but he’s right back with a crucifix for the pin at 7:52.

Rating: C+. I’m not sure why this needed to be on there but at least another singles match got included here. This was the kind of match that kept Haku employed for such a long time, as he was able to feel like enough of a threat to Bulldog, who got a win over a tough opponent. It wasn’t the greatest match, but it was basically Haku’s bread and butter kind of match.

From Great American Bash 1995.

US Title: Meng vs. Sting

And we skip another three and a half years. For the vacant title and kind of the finals (originally a semifinal, but the other semifinal didn’t have a winner and triple threats weren’t a big deal yet (thank goodness) so the semifinal is now a final. Meng (who has Colonel Robert Parker in his corner) backs him into the corner to start and unloads with some clubberin.

Sting gets choked down but comes back with a jumping kick to the chest (likely a mistimed dropkick) and a dropkick to send him into the corner for a change. Parker gets Meng outside for a chat, with the advice seemingly being “beat him up some more”, with Meng striking away in the corner.

Sting gets knocked out to the floor and sent into the barricade, followed by a sitout powerbomb for two back inside. The nerve hold goes on for a bit before Meng blocks a sunset flip by simply kicking Sting in the head. That means another nerve hold, which brings Sting up for a comeback. That’s cut off as well, with Meng hitting a middle rope headbutt for two.

Some running clotheslines put Meng down and the hair grab bulldog does it again. A Cactus Clothesline sends them outside, with Sting going after Parker. The angered Meng misses a charge into the post and it’s the Scorpion Deathlock back inside. Meng breaks it up so Sting goes up top for a clothesline. One heck of a top rope splash gives Sting two and a jumping DDT (never seen him use that before) finishes Meng for the title at 13:36.

Rating: B-. This was, again, the exact kind of match that Meng specialized in and probably his most high profile singles match ever. While it would have made more sense as a semifinal before Sting could face a bigger name, it was Sting surviving against a monster and coming from behind to win. It might not have been Vader but it was the Vader formula and that worked well.

From Monday Nitro, February 24, 1997.

Faces Of Fear vs. Eddie Guerrero/Chris Jericho

That would be Meng/Barbarian again (with Jimmy Hart (wearing a Jimmy Hart tie)), as they’re kind of a natural pairing. Barbarian chokes Jericho into the corner to start but misses the Kick Of Fear (big boot). Jericho kicks the knee out and brings in Guerrero, who is launched into the air for a nasty looking crash back down. Meng (who is looking a good bit bigger) comes in and gets taken down with a headscissors.

A double backdrop puts Meng down and Jericho hits a backsplash for two. That’s fine with Meng, who belly to back suplexes Jericho silly, allowing Barbarian to hit a release overhead belly to belly. Jericho hits a spinning high crossbody to put Meng down and we hit the choking. Meng backdrops Jericho into Barbarian’s powerbomb (that always looked great) for two more and the beating continues.

Jericho finally gets in a poisonrana and it’s back to Guerrero to pick up the pace. A pop up dropkick hits Barbarian and a double suplex puts him down again. Jericho tries a Lionsault but gets pulled outside. That leaves Guerrero to go up top but cue Dean Malenko to shove him into Barbarian’s big boot for the pin at 7:42 (a big deal as Guerrero is US Champion).

Rating: B. I for one am shocked that Guerrero and Jericho could get together and have a good match against a regular team. The Faces Of Fear were a great choice for a pair of monsters, which is why they were put in this spot in both major promotions. It worked well here and while the opponents helped, those power moves were rather awesome.

From Monday Nitro, March 15, 1999.

Meng vs. Jerry Flynn

Meng jumps him to start but misses a charge into the corner. Flynn strikes away and a clothesline…just makes Meng mad. A powerslam puts Flynn down but he grabs a quickly broken ankle lock (Meng grabbing the ropes doesn’t feel right). Back up and Meng knocks him down again but Flynn pulls on a cross armbreaker. That’s broken up as well and they strike it out again, with Flynn hitting a Thesz press of all things. The spinning kick misses for Flynn though and the Tongan Death Grip finishes for Meng at 4:10.

Rating: C+. As usual, I was disappointed when I read the name wrong as Flynn is…I have no idea why he was around so often. This was more about Meng being the big bulldozer kind of unstoppable monster and it fit him rather well. Having him shrug off everything else and win with the Tongan Death Grip was fine, but it just wasn’t that thrilling of a match.

From Sin.

Hardcore Title: Meng vs. Crowbar vs. Terry Funk

Funk is defending. We’re joined in progress (I think) with Funk knocking Crowbar through the backstage hallways and into the women’s room (of course). Funk hits him with every stall door and Daffney screams a lot, only for Meng to pop up and wreck Funk with a trashcan. They go back into the arena, where Funk and Crowbar get smart and double team Meng.

They take turns ramming each other into a metal door until a bunch of tables are knocked onto Meng. Funk throws a chair at Crowbar’s head and gets blasted with a fire extinguisher. Crowbar rams him into a table and climbs a balcony to legdrop him through said table. Meng is back with trashcan shots so Crowbar bails up to the stage. A chop off goes badly for Crowbar, who gets knocked down the ramp, only for Funk to blast Meng in the back with a shovel.

Funk sets up a piece of barricade on the regular barricade and then hits Meng with the shovel again. Funk slams Crowbar through the barricade but Crowbar is right back up to Pillmanize Funk’s legs. A running dropkick takes out Funk’s leg and Crowbar puts on a Figure Four, even with Meng hammering on him at the time. Meng goes up top with a splash to Crowbar for the save, followed by a piledriver.

Funk makes the save (that can’t be smart), earning himself a middle rope splash from Meng. Crowbar makes the save and he and Funk unload on Meng with chair shots to FINALLY put him down for two. A DDT puts Meng down again and Crowbar chairs Funk in the head. Meng knocks Crowbar silly and Tongan Death Grips Funk for the win at 11:24.

Rating: B-. The point here was “Meng is an unstoppable monster and can’t be hurt”, with the other two there to be all over the top and insane. It worked, as usual, as this was kind of the final evolution of Meng. He had a reputation of being the toughest wrestler ever and then he was turned into an even more unstoppable monster. It would take something special to screws him up and…yeah of course WCW managed to do so.

How? Well just after this he would jump back to the WWF, with the title, because why make sure you have an active champion under contract?

Overall Rating: B-. Haku is not someone who was going to have all kinds of classic matches or memorable moments or all that jazz. He was never a main eventer or really anything more than a midcard monster. What he was though is a great example of a role player. You know EXACTLY what you’re getting with Meng and he does that kind of work very, very well. That was on full display here, as he mainly stayed around the same area of the card (save for the hardcore stuff) and was incredibly consistent. That’s a hard thing to find in wrestling and Haku did it rather well.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania VII
Date: March 24, 1991
Location: Los Angeles Sports Arena, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 16,158
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

It’s the Gulf War show, as Hulk Hogan is fighting to get the WWF Title back from former American hero turned Iraqi sympathizer Sgt. Slaughter. If that sounds like one of the worst ideas for a Wrestlemania main event ever, you have quite the memory for these things. Other than that we have Randy Savage vs. Ultimate Warrior in a match that actually belongs in a big spot at Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is all about the stars and stripes with only Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter being shown.

Willie Nelson sings America The Beautiful.

Jim Duggan joins commentary for the first match, while saying that Hulk Hogan going after Sgt. Slaughter is like the military going after Saddam Hussein.

The Rockers know they’re ready for Haku and the Barbarian, whether they are part of the Heenan Family or not.

Rockers vs. Haku/Barbarian

Haku and Barbarian, with Bobby Heenan, are already in the ring in a move that could cut down on so much Wrestlemania time these days. Shawn and Haku start things off as the fans are already yelling about Heenan. Haku whips him into the corner a few times but a shoulder and some right hands get Shawn out of trouble. Marty comes in for the double elbow but Barbarian clotheslines both Rockers inside out.

Back up and a double superkick drops Barbarian and it’s time for pointers with the Brain (jot that down for a talk show idea). We settle back down to Marty sunset flipping Barbarian for two before working over the arm. Haku comes back in for a double headbutt and an assisted hot shot has Marty in even more trouble. The gorilla press plants Marty again and Barbarian even draws Shawn in so double choking can ensue.

A hard whip into the corner gives Barbarian two more and we hit the required bearhug (What took them so long?). Marty tries to fight back but gets caught in a heck of a powerslam to cut him off again. Barbarian misses the top rope headbutt though and there’s the tag to Shawn. House is quickly cleaned, including a middle rope crossbody to Barbarian. Everything breaks down and it’s a double clothesline to Barbarian. Marty missile Barbarian and Shawn adds a high crossbody for the pin at 10:33.

Rating: C+. The middle felt a little bit long but this was a perfectly fine power vs. speed tag match. The Rockers are one of the better speed teams from around this time and they were a great choice for an opener. Haku and Barbarian on the other hand were perfectly acceptable monsters, making this a rather nice way to get the crowd fired up. It would have been a heck of a house show match (and probably was more than once) and that worked well in this spot.

We get our celebrity interviews with Regis Philbin (scared of Earthquake), Marla Maples (future wife of Donald Trump and tonight’s guest timekeeper) and Alex Trebek (Jeopardy jokes abound). I love Jeopardy and Regis can be funny, but these are about as cringe as you can get.

Dino Bravo vs. Texas Tornado

Jimmy Hart is here with Bravo, who jumps Tornado at the bell and clotheslines him out to the floor in an early heap. Back in and Tornado slugs away but can’t get the Claw. Bravo knocks him down again and drops an elbow for two, setting up the side slam. The delayed cover gets two and there’s a middle rope elbow to the back of Tornado’s head. Bravo goes up but dives into the Claw, setting up the Tornado Punch for the pin at 3:11.

Rating: D. This is the match that I cite for why I don’t redo every Wrestlemania (or any show) very often. There are only so many ways you can talk about a nothing match like this with no build and almost no time. Tornado was past his expiration date and Bravo would be gone, save for mostly house shows, after this, so what were they supposed to do here?

Slick and the Warlord are ready to beat British Bulldog. Sweet goodness I was scared of Warlord’s half mask back then and it’s still an awesome look to this day.

Bulldog says he can powerslam Warlord.

British Bulldog vs. Warlord

Slick is here with Warlord but Bulldog has his mascot Winston (he’s no Matilda). This is power vs. power so Warlord starts with the clubbing forearm to the back. Bulldog runs him over with some shoulders and Warlord is already on the floor for a breather. Back in and Warlord counters the crucifix into something like a Samoan drop as things slow way back down. The bearhug goes on for a bit before Bulldog charges into a hot shot to cut the comeback right back off.

We hit the chinlock, with Heenan even complaining about how sloppy Warlord has it on. With that broken up, Bulldog dropkicks him into the corner and hammers away, setting up a crossbody for two. The piledriver is blocked so Bulldog settles for two off a sunset flip instead. Bulldog misses a charge though and Warlord gets most of the full nelson, minus the fingers being locked. The incomplete version is broken up and Bulldog hits the powerslam for the pin at 8:10.

Rating: C. This was another house show style match as Bulldog gets an impressive win, with that powerslam still looking great. Warlord is up there with the most generic monster villains you can get but he looked good enough that beating him still felt like something of a big deal. These two could have some nice power matches though and they made a basic story work well here.

The Nasty Boys, with Jimmy Hart, are ready to win the Tag Team Titles, even if it means beating the Hart Foundation. They destroy Gene handkerchief to warm up.

The Hart Foundation are ready for a fight but say the Nastys can’t crack, move or break the foundation.

Tag Team Titles: Hart Foundation vs. Nasty Boys

The Nastys, with Jimmy Hart (in a helmet), are challenging and Macaulay Culkin is in the audience, with Monsoon thankfully recognizing him. Sags punches away at Bret to start but Bret is back with a Thesz press and right hands (….hey). Bret cuts off a kick to the ribs and stomps Sags in the abdomen (or bread basket, whichever you prefer). Knobbs comes in to hammer on Neidhart in the corner, which of course is just fine with Neidhart.

The hard shoulders send Knobbs to the floor before it’s time to work on the arm back inside. It’s back to Sags, who gets taken down again by Neidhart, allowing Bret to hammer away as well. The Russian legsweep into the middle rope elbow connects but Bret has to cut off an interfering Knobbs. That’s enough for Sags to get in a cheap shot so the Nastys can actually take over for a change.

Bret is knocked to the floor for a breather, followed by a hard whip into the corner back inside as the pace stays slow. The reverse chinlock goes on for a good while before Knobbs comes in for one of his own. Sags grabs a third reverse chinlock, followed by Knobbs dropping elbows to the bad back.

Make that four reverse chinlocks until Bret finally avoids a charge in the corner. The tag to Neidhart isn’t seen but Knobbs runs into Sags by mistake, allowing Neidhart to come in legally. House is cleaned and a powerslam gets two on Knobbs. The Nastys collide again and the Hart Attack hits Knobbs. There’s no referee though, allowing Sags to get in a shot with Jimmy’s helmet to give Knobbs the pin and the titles at 12:00.

Rating: C. There were good sections, but how in the world can four straight reverse chinlocks be the best you have? Mixing it up at least a little big really shouldn’t be too much to ask but apparently that wasn’t going to happen here. This was a way to get some fresh blood in the tag division, which would be needed as the Harts were more or less done after this, with Bret moving into his singles career.

We recap Rick Martel vs. Jake Roberts. Martel went to spray Jake’s snake bag with cologne (because reasons) but sprayed Jake in the eyes. Roberts was blinded as a result, though he managed to DDT Brother Love at one point. His eyes were messed up for months but now he’s back for a blindfold match.

Roberts says snakes have five senses but they always do it better in the dark.

Jake Roberts vs. Rick Martel

They’re both in hoods and if you ignore being able to see the eye hole when Jake puts his on, it makes for a good visual. Roberts goes smart early on by having the crowd help him find Martel. There’s no contact for the first minute until both of them stumble over the other a bit. Jake gets two off a rollup and then steps around Martel’s backdrop attempt (because that’s the kind of thing you do when you can’t see).

The pointing thing results in a collision and a pair of missed charges. Then to mix it up a bit, they miss each other again. Martel finally catches him with a slam but misses the elbow drop as Gorilla and Bobby suddenly can’t hear each other. Martel corners the referee in the corner as Jake is in another corner to start the pointing. With that not working, Jake starts clapping to get Martel to come over. This one actually works, but they crash into the ropes. Heenan: “Why doesn’t Martel lift the hood up and peak?” Gorilla: “That’s cheating!” Heenan: “SO WHAT???”

A headlock doesn’t work for Jake as Martel sends him outside. Heenan: “Excuse me. MARTEL! HE’S ON THE FLOOR!” Martel follows him out and pokes around with a chair, with the swing only hitting the post. Back in and Martel hits a backbreaker to set up the Boston crab. With that broken up in a hurry (so much for Martel’s finisher), Jake grabs the DDT for the pin at 8:31.

Rating: D. This match isn’t something that works well on second viewings, as there are so many instances where it is clear that they can see each other. Roberts getting the win is the feel good moment, but it took its sweet time getting there. Not as completely horrible as I remember it, but it doesn’t work very well if you’re paying attention.

Post match Jake busts up the Arrogance atomizer and puts Damien on Martel.

Marla Maples is in the locker room where the Nasty Boys, Jimmy Hart and the Mountie are celebrating the Tag Team Title win. Dino Bravo and Earthquake come in with more champagne and Marla is surrounded. That’s it for her, as this isn’t exactly a great celebrity cameo. What exactly was nasty about a big celebration anyway?

Jimmy Snuka vs. The Undertaker

Paul Bearer is here with Undertaker of course. Snuka stares at Undertaker as we cut to Bearer looking….well weird to everyone else, normal for him. Undertaker sends him into the corner a few times before knocking Snuka outside in a heap. A suplex brings Snuka back in but he manages a few strikes for a breather. Snuka’s missed charge only hits ropes though and it’s another crash to the floor, followed by the Tombstone to make Undertaker 1-0 at Wrestlemania at 4:20.

Rating: D+. It’s always kind of interesting that one of the most important things in the company’s history started off as such a nothing match. This was little more than a squash as Snuka had absolutely nothing. The Tombstone alone was worth a look, though Undertaker was still figuring a lot of things out at this point.

We recap Randy Savage vs. Ultimate Warrior in a career threatening match. Savage wanted a shot at Warrior’s WWF Title but got turned down (despite Sherri’s suggestive advances). As a result, Savage cheated like crazy to cost Warrior the title to Sgt. Slaughter. Warrior wants revenge, and their careers are on the line. This is FAR more interesting than the real main event as it has a more personal story and could go either way.

Randy Savage vs. Ultimate Warrior

Before the match, Heenan spots Miss Elizabeth in the crowd, looking a bit distraught. Savage, with Queen Sherri, gets his big throne entrance and Warrior makes it weird by walking to the ring. They take their time to get going until Warrior powers him away. Savage bounces off of him and it’s time for a breather on the floor. Back in and Warrior chokes away before hitting an atomic drop, though things are still moving fairly slowly.

Sherri’s interference fails and Warrior punches Savage down again. Savage finally comes back with that running clothesline but Warrior pulls a high crossbody out of the air (that’s always impressive). Instead of slamming Savage down though, Warrior sits him down to start up the mind games. Said games cause Savage to throw in a chair but Warrior punches him down again. Warrior finally misses a charge into the corner though and Sherri stomps away on the floor.

Savage’s top rope ax handle has a bit more impact but Warrior shoves Sherri down anyway. A posting drops Warrior and Sherri, not taking this lying down, kicks away at Warrior. As Gorilla says this is officially the largest pay per view audience in the history of pay per view, Warrior gets two off a backslide for a breather. Warrior hits the clothesline and runs the ropes a bunch, only to miss the shoulder.

Savage grabs the chinlock for a bit before Warrior fights up. A double clothesline gives us a double knockdown and they’re both rather winded. Back up and Warrior actually grabs a small package but Sherri has the referee. Savage knees Warrior in the back to send him into the referee and now things are getting going. Sherri comes in off the top with her shoe but hits Savage by mistake, meaning it’s time for Warrior to go a-stalking.

A rollup (seemingly with trunks) gives Savage two and he sends Warrior hard into the corner. Savage clotheslines him in the back of the head and drops the top rope elbow. Then he drops the top rope elbow. Then he drops the top rope elbow. Then he drops the top rope elbow. Then he drops the top rope elbow….for two, just in case you didn’t know who was winning here.

Warrior Warriors Up and hits the shoulders into the gorilla press drop. The Warrior Splash connects for two and now Warrior is stunned. Warrior looks up, then looks at his hands, and starts walking up the aisle. Instead of taking the countout, Savage jumps him from behind and goes up top, only to miss his dive onto the barricade. Back in and Warrior’s flying shoulder sends Savage outside again. They get back in and do it again, as Savage’s bumps off the shoulder here are awesome. A third running shoulder sends Savage outside again and Warrior throws him back inside. Savage is DONE and Warrior gets the pin at 20:47.

Rating: A-. This felt like an epic showdown between two top stars and that is what it was supposed to be. You don’t get this kind of a match very often around the WWF and they made it work on every front. The ending scene of Savage being completely defeated made it look like the better man won, even with Savage and Sherri cheating every chance they could. Outstanding match here and it still more than holds up.

Post match Warrior leaves and Sherri berates Savage as he still can’t get up. She even kicks him over and over….until Elizabeth jumps the barricade and chases Sherri off (the ultra rare instance of her getting physical). Savage finally gets up and sees Elizabeth, leaving him very confused. Elizabeth stretches out her arms and Savage finally hugs her to a huge roar. Savage puts her on his shoulder and then holds the ropes open for her, because things have finally changed before them.

This is the moment that can still bring a bit of a tear to the eye of fans of my generation because it was YEARS in the making and the fans were begging Savage to take her back by the end. It’s Savage FINALLY being at peace and getting his happy ending after leaving it all in the ring. This is still one of the best things that WWE has ever done and it still gets to me, even if I’ve seen it dozens of times.

And now, a debate on instant replay in wrestling, with Vince McMahon moderating the discussion between New York Yankees owner George Steinbrenner and NFL analyst Paul Maguire. Steinbrenner wants instant replay but if it takes more than a minute to get the call right, fire them. Vince: “What do you mean fire him? Like, from his job?” Maguire doesn’t like the idea and insults Steinbrenner over his comments. We get an instant replay, as looked at by the Bushwhackers, which results in the tape being ruined. Their ruling: the tape is inconclusive, therefore the play stands. This was bizarre to put it mildly, which might be why it isn’t on the Peacock version.

We run down what is left on the show as this feels like an intermission. Gorilla and Bobby talk about what has gone on so far, with Heenan saying if he was Savage, he would rather have some money than a skirt.

Regis Philbin interviews Undertaker and Paul Bearer, with Undertaker taking measurements for….reasons. Puns about being alive ensue.

Alex Trebek interviews Demolition, with Mr. Fuji, who yell a lot and scare Trebek a bit. Trebek tries to turn it into something Jeopardy-ish and the yelling gets has him throwing it back to Regis.

Regis tries to talk to Genichiro Tenryu and Koji Kitao about their match but can only use Japanese company names. They want to know where Kathy Lee (the co-host of his talk show) is and it doesn’t go well.

Jake Roberts and Damien scare Trebek off. Roberts tells Damien that he’ll have to settle for the home version of Jeopardy.

Those four segments? They were really, really bad.

Genichiro Tenryu/Koji Kitao vs. Demolition

This is Crush/Smash, with Mr. Fuji, in the very last try to push the team as meaning anything. Tenryu and Kitao are here as part of a partnership with Tenryu’s SWS promotion. Demolition jumps Kitao to start but Kitao knees Crush against the ropes. A distraction lets Smash get in a shot from behind though and Demolition takes over. Crush hits a top rope ax handle to the back as the fans aren’t exactly interested here. Kitao gets over for the tag off to Tenryu, who misses a top rope elbow. The Demolition Decapitator is loaded up but Kitao makes a save. Tenryu enziguris Smash and a powerbomb gives Tenryu the pin at 4:40.

Rating: D. Call it a style clash, call it Demolition being worthless at this point or call it the WWF not getting why this would be a bad idea, but this really did not work in any sense. The Ax/Smash version of Demolition was great, but the Crush/Smash version was Demolition in name only. This was more or less it for Demolition and based on this, that is the best thing for everyone involved.

Big Boss Man is tired of Bobby Heenan talking about his mama and has run through the Heenan Family. Now Mr. Perfect, and the Intercontinental Title, are all that’s left.

Bobby Heenan references the Rodney King beating and promises you’ll see something similar when Mr. Perfect beats up the Big Boss Man.

Intercontinental Title: Big Boss Man vs. Mr. Perfect

Boss Man is challenging after spending months beating up the rest of the Heenan Family (Rick Rude was originally going to be included but he left the company in the fall). Alfred Hayes is joining commentary to replace Heenan, who is in Perfect’s corner. Boss Man catches Perfect’s towel and cleans himself off with it, much to Perfect’s annoyance. Perfect gets knocked around as the beating is on, including Perfect charging into a boot in the corner.

There’s the big toss over the top and you know Perfect is going to take a huge bump off that one. Back in and Boss Man takes off his belt, only to have Perfect take him away and start hammering him down. Some shots to the back keep Boss Man in trouble and we hit the abdominal stretch. With that broken up, a good looking dropkick gives Perfect two and the neck snap makes it worse.

The PerfectPlex is countered into a small package for two but Perfect knocks him down again. Perfect goes up and dives onto a raised boot, setting up the ram into the buckle for another huge Perfect bump. Boss Man crotches him against the post but a Heenan distraction lets Perfect send him into the steps.

With the numbers advantage causing issues, Andre the Giant (oh boy) comes out to….well it’s not exactly even but it definitely changes things. As you might expect, Heenan panics so Perfect goes after Andre, who smacks him in the face with the Intercontinental Title. A VERY delayed cover gets two and here are Haku and Barbarian to jump Boss Man for the DQ at 10:46.

Rating: C. There was a lot going on here but I still don’t get why Boss Man didn’t win the title. That would seem to be the most obvious ending but instead it just goes nowhere, with Boss Man getting the “feel good” win. Perfect very easily could have wont he title back a month or so later, but at least we got one more Andre appearance where he looked somewhat mobile.

Gene Okerlund interviews……Donald Trump, who hopes to have Wrestlemania back in Atlantic City. Chuck Norris is here too, and thinks the wrestlers are great athletes, even name dropping Argentina Rocca of all people. Henry Winkler is happy the Ultimate Warrior won. Lou Ferrigno finds this really entertaining. I need a Christmas special where those four get together and save Santa Claus.

Earthquake vs. Greg Valentine

Jimmy Hart is here with Earthquake. This is my regular chance to ask what the heck the WWF was thinking by making Valentine a good guy around this time. Earthquake starts fast and hits an early powerslam for two as the dominance seems to be on. Valentine avoids a charge in the corner and slowly hammers away. A running elbow to the head actually puts Earthquake down on one knee and a middle rope version actually knocks him down. The Figure Four is blocked and Hart offers a distraction, allowing Earthquake to drop the elbow. The Earthquake finishes Valentine at 3:17.

Rating: D+. The match was fine enough and Valentine got in some offense, but there is only so much that you can get out of this situation. Earthquake cleaned Valentine out and beat him without much effort. I’m still not sure who saw Valentine as a good guy but to call it a flop would be too kind.

The Legion of Doom promise to make Power And Glory sour and gory. That’s a heck of a line.

Legion of Doom vs. Power And Glory

Slick is here with Power And Glory. The Doomsday Device finishes Roma at 58 seconds and the LOD wants the Tag Team Titles.

We recap Virgil vs. Ted DiBiase. Virgil had been mistreated for years and FINALLY snapped at the Royal Rumble after a tag match with DiBiase. Roddy Piper has been supporting Virgil, despite Piper being in a horrible motorcycle accident that has left him barely able to walk at the moment.

Virgil vs. Ted DiBiase

Roddy Piper is here with Virgil, who punches DiBiase outside to start. With DiBiase back inside, Virgil punches him right back to the floor. Back in again and DiBiase gets clotheslined to the floor as the frustrations continue. A slower DiBiase gets back inside and this time a few shots slow Virgil down.

The beating is on, including a piledriver for two as commentary talks about how big of a show this has been. A suplex drops Virgil again and DiBiase heads outside to deck Piper. Back in and a powerslam gives DiBiase two but Piper uses his crutch to low bridge DiBiase to the floor. DiBiase goes after Piper but gets counted out at 7:42.

Rating: C-. As has been said, the problem with Virgil is that there just wasn’t anything there in the ring. His punches were his best weapon, as other than that, he was as generic as you could get. Getting the win over DiBiase was a nice moment, but they didn’t exactly make it feel like a big deal. It would have been too much to see Virgil pin him, but this wasn’t exactly thrilling.

Post match DiBiase goes after Piper’s knee again, with Sherri running in to help with the beating. Some crutch shots to the knee have Piper in trouble but Virgil gets up for the save. Piper is in agony but Virgil tells him to get up. Then Piper gets up with Virgil’s help.

Sean Mooney sends us to a recap of Sgt. Slaughter vs. Hulk Hogan. Slaughter has been playing by a new set of rules, including burning a Hulk Rules shirt. Adnan and Slaughter come in, with Adnan ranting a lot before we look at Slaughter jumping Hogan recently. Slaughter threatens to get himself disqualified or counted out in the main event. It doesn’t help that Slaughter getting disqualified or counted out was his best chance to retain the title.

Mountie vs. Tito Santana

Just in case the show hasn’t gone on long enough yet. Santana knocks him outside to start and hammers away back inside but Jimmy Hart slips Mountie the shock stick. One electrocution (and a joke about bad Mexican food from Heenan) and Santana is done at 1:21. This might be the all time definition of needless filler.

Hulk Hogan promises to use secret weapons to win the WWF Title. And no, a beating from Sgt. Slaughter isn’t slowing him down.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Slaughter, with General Adnan, is defending, Marla Maples is the guest timekeeper, Alex Trebek is the guest ring announcer and Regis Philbin is on commentary. Hogan chases Adnan and Slaughter around to start before Slaughter even takes the belt off. We then pause for Slaughter to get ready before hitting the stall button for a bit longer. They lock up (accidentally knocking the referee down) and slaughter is sent into the corner.

Back up and Hogan runs him over with a shoulder, sending the champ outside. Slaughter grabs a chair but Hogan is waiting for him. Instead they head back inside, where Slaughter pokes him in the eye to take over. Heenan has to explain some of the backstory to Regis as Hogan slugs away to put Slaughter in the corner. Some rams into the buckle keep Slaughter in trouble as this isn’t exactly thrilling so far.

There’s a backdrop to Slaughter and a running knee sends him into the corner again. A catapult into the corner sets up the raining down right hands but Slaughter knocks a diving Hogan out of the air. Hogan shrugs that off and drops a bunch of elbows before going to the top (oh dear) where Adnan’s distraction lets Slaughter slam him down. Now a chair to the back can keep Hogan down on the floor, followed by the slow beating back inside.

Slaughter complains about the speed of a two count and the referee yells right back. The Boston crab goes on, all of four inches from the rope, so Hogan tries to power out anyway. With that not working, Hogan grabs the rope to escape, which feels pretty out of character. Some knees to the back set up a top rope knee to the back but for some reason Adnan distracts the referee, allowing Hogan to kick out.

A chair to the head busts Hogan open so Slaughter pounds away on the head and grabs the camel clutch. Hogan powers up again and escapes but Slaughter sends him into the corner. Slaughter puts the Iraqi flag onto Hogan and that’s enough for the Hulk Up. Said flag is destroyed and Hogan throws the punches, setting up the big boot and leg to get the title back at 20:22. Monsoon: “The war is now officially over.”

Rating: C+. The problem here is that it isn’t a bad match, but it might be the most obvious result in the history of….well perhaps human kind. Desert Storm was already over so this was just a formality, as Slaughter was a short form champion from the second he won the belt. Hogan did his normal match here, albeit a bit longer than usual, and the Hulk Up was short even by his standards. It’s completely fine, but with the war already over, it was nowhere near the feel good, special moment they were hoping it would be.

Hogan poses and waves the American flag to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This is a show that has good pieces but DESPERATELY needed to be trimmed down. Would anyone have missed Earthquake vs. Valentine, Santana vs. Mountie or Von Erich vs. Bravo? The main event is on the lower end of Wrestlemania main events and the celebrity stuff is horrid. At the same time, Warrior vs. Savage is a classic and there is some other good stuff in there, but they really needed to cut this down by at least thirty minutes to get rid of some of the drag.

 

Ratings Comparison

Rockers vs. Haku/Barbarian

Original: B
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B
2023 Redo: C+

Texas Tornado vs. Dino Bravo

Original: F
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D-
2023 Redo: D

British Bulldog vs. Warlord

Original: B-
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: C-
2023 Redo: C

Nasty Boys vs. Hart Foundation

Original: C-
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: C+
2023 Redo: C

Jake Roberts vs. Rick Martel

Original: F
2013 Redo: F
2015 Redo: F-
2023 Redo: D

Undertaker vs. Jimmy Snuka

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D
2023 Redo: D+

Ultimate Warrior vs. Randy Savage

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A
2015 Redo: A
2023 Redo: A-

Genichiro Tenryu/Koji Kitao vs. Demolition

Original: W (For What were they thinking)
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D-
2023 Redo: D

Big Boss Man vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: C-
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C+
2023 Redo: C

Earthquake vs. Greg Valentine

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: F+
2015 Redo: D
2023 Redo: D+

Legion of Doom vs. Power and Glory

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2023 Redo: N/A

Virgil vs. Ted DiBiase

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D+
2023 Redo: C-

The Mountie vs. Tito Santana

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2023 Redo: N/A

Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Original: C+
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C+
2023 Redo: C-

Overall Rating

Original: C
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: B-
2023 Redo: C-

I’ve really come down on this one over the years and other than maybe boosting up Savage vs. Warrior a bit more, I’m not sure how I had some of those earlier ratings.

Here is the original if you’re interested:

The 2013 Edition:

And the 2015 Edition:http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/16/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-vii-no-that-isnt-a-tear-in-my-eye/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania VI
Date: April 1, 1990
Location: SkyDome, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 67,678
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura
O Canada: Robert Goulet

We’ll look at one more Wrestlemania after this year’s season ends thanks to the WWE Vault. This is one of the most famous Wrestlemania main events of all time with The Ultimate Challenge as Hulk Hogan vs. the Ultimate Warrior, title for title. That’s about all you have on the show but…well what else do you need? Let’s get to it.

The opening video is one of the all time best, with Vince McMahon showing various constellations in space, eventually stopping on Hulk Hogan and the Ultimate Warrior, because this is ALL Wrestlemania was built around.

Robert Goulet sings O Canada.

Koko B. Ware vs. Rick Martel

The ring carts are back! Martel jumps him during the weapons check and hammers away but Ware is back with a middle rope crossbody. Some dropkicks have Martel in trouble and a backdrop makes it worse. Ware gets low bridged out to the floor and it’s a suplex for two back inside. The Boston crab is blocked (in the Coliseum Video, that was clipped to the finish, assuming you ignore Ware being nowhere near where he was for the submission when the hold was put on) and Ware fights up but the comeback is cut off as Ware misses a crossbody. Now the Boston crab can finish Ware off at 5:30.

Rating: C. Not much to see here but a Canadian heel gets to win so the fans won’t be overly annoyed. It’s still strange to see a cold match on Wrestlemania but there’s nothing wrong with what we got here. Ware is a perfectly serviceable star and Martel is still criminally underrated, so it’s not like this was going to be bad. Uneventful maybe, but not bad.

Gene Okerlund is with the Colossal Connection (Haku/Andre The Giant) but calls them the Colostomy Connection. This leads to a series of puns but the gist is they’ll beat Demolition.

Demolition is ready to chop down the Colossal Connection. Threats of shouting TIMBER are issued, while Smash would rather put the champs in the back of a truck and throw them off a cliff. Dude it’s a wrestling match. Stop threatening to murder them.

Tag Team Titles: Colossal Connection vs. Demolition

The Connection, with Bobby Heenan, is defending and don’t get an entrance. It’s almost like that’s just not a big deal and is a nice way to shave off a bit of time. The champs jumps them before the start and it’s Haku officially starting with Smash. They slug it out with Smash taking over and grabbing an early neck crank. Ax comes in for some shots of his own before it’s back to Smash for a battle over a backslide.

With that going nowhere, it’s back to Ax, who gets hit in the throat and caught in a backbreaker for two. Some chops have Ax in more trouble, to the point where he staggers over to Andre, who decks him as well. Haku strikes him down again and then sends him into Andre’s head, which is quite the smart move. Another comeback is cut off with a poke to the eyes and we go to a wide shot of the stadium and dang it looks awesome.

The nerve hold goes on to keep Ax in trouble but he fights up, only to get choked down by Andre again. Ax manages to fight up and gets in a knockdown, which is FINALLY enough for the tag off to Smash. Everything breaks down and Andre gets double teamed into the corner. Haku superkicks Andre by mistake though and he gets tied up in the ropes. A double clothesline and the Demolition Decapitator gives us new champions at 9:10. Andre never tagged in.

Rating: C+. This was a glorified handicap match, with Haku literally wrestling the entire match with Andre only coming in at the beginning and end. It was clear that Andre was at the end of his run but there was still something to be said about having a giant like that standing around. Demolition getting the titles back got a heck of a reaction too, as it was quite the moment.

Post match Andre is still staggered but Heenan LOSES HIS EVER LOVING MIND by yelling at Andre and slapping him in the face. Andre punches Heenan in the face, beats up Haku for daring to defending Heenan and then knocks both of them out of the ring cart (I’ve always loved that), allowing him to ride away to one final hero’s sendoff.

Jimmy Hart thinks there is going to be an earthquake in Toronto. I mean, there already is one next to him but I get the idea.

Hercules vs. Earthquake

Jimmy Hart is here with Earthquake. Hercules hammers away but can only knock Earthquake into the corner. A test of strength has Hercules down on his knees and Earthquake drops him again. Back up and some running shoulders and clotheslines stagger Earthquake but ever the moron, Hercules tries a torture rack. The ensuing collapse sets up an elbow into the Earthquake to finish Hercules at 4:56.

Rating: C. This was about all you could have expected from this match and it went completely ok. At the end of the day, there is only so much Hercules can do with a monster, especially with Hulk Hogan being up next for Earthquake. You don’t want to see Hercules throw him around and Earthquake looks all the more dominant. The key thing here was to keep it short, and it worked better as a result. Hercules would turn heel and form Power & Glory pretty soon.

Rona Barrett (celebrity interviewer) talks to Miss Elizabeth, who says she’ll be back around more frequently in the near future. Not really, no.

Brutus Beefcake looks at Mr. Perfect’s record and is impressed, but he’s ready to trim it down.

Brutus Beefcake vs. Mr. Perfect

The Genius is here with Perfect. They slug it out in the corner to start with Beefcake knocking him out to the floor. Perfect needs a breather before coming back in to hammer away and take over. Beefcake sends him into the corner and comes back with a slam, followed by another whip into the corner. Naturally Perfect does a big bump, because that’s just what he does. With nothing else working, Genius slips Perfect the scroll for a cheap shot to take over. The Hennig necksnap gets two and Perfect slaps him a few times but Beefcake catapults him into the post for the pin out of absolutely nowhere at 7:48.

Rating: C+. This was a good match for Beefcake, who gets the big feather in his cap by giving Perfect his first loss. Beefcake really was crazy over at this point and was getting better in the ring. Then his face was destroyed in a few months and he just never recovered, which is a shame when you can see what he was doing here.

Post match Beefcake goes after the Genius (Perfect doesn’t seem to notice and leaves), setting up the sleeper and a haircut. The thing is Genius apparently wasn’t told this was going to happen (as apparently Pat Patterson only told Beefcake about the idea) so his flailing around and trying to get away was legitimate. It almost led to a fight backstage between Beefcake and Randy Savage before things calmed down.

We recap Roddy Piper vs. Bad News Brown. They eliminated each other from the Royal Rumble and had a big fight to the back. Then Brown called it a skirt and of course it meant war.

Now we get to the reason why this match isn’t on Peacock, as Piper, in half Black face, calls himself Hot Rod and Hot Scot (complete with a bit of Billie Jean). Piper mocks Brown’s eyes, ears and nose (with the long hairs sticking out) before moving on to the biggest problem, which is Brown’s mouth. Piper is ready to shut it for Brown, but will it be Hot Rod or Hot Scot who does it? I have no idea how this was seen as a good idea but it’s as terrible as it sounds.

Roddy Piper vs. Bad News Brown

Brown doesn’t seem to understand what is up with the dual skin color thing and I’m not quite getting it either. They slug it out to start and the referee breaks it up, allowing Piper to hit a crossbody. Piper hammers away in the corner but gets staggered by a big headbutt. Some right hands put Piper down and we hit the nerve hold.

An elbow gives Brown two, with commentary getting on him about the lackadaisical cover. The turnbuckle pad is taken off but Piper sends him into it instead. It’s time to load up a glove and Piper knocks him down a few times, with the referee being fine with the whole thing. Brown bails to the floor and pulls Piper with him and it’s a double countout at 6:50.

Rating: C. The match wasn’t exactly good, but it’s remembered for reasons of WHAT WAS PIPER THINKING. I have no idea how this was approved and while I know things were a bit different back in 1990, it was just such a terrible idea. It doesn’t help that they didn’t have time to do anything, with the match wrapping up when it was just getting going. I mean, assuming the glove deal was something getting going.

The brawl continues and referees break it up as they go to the back.

Steve Allen (former Tonight Show host) is in a bathroom with a piano, where he can’t quite manage to play the Soviet national anthem. This is what we get for celebrities these days. And now did they get that piano in there?

Hart Foundation vs. Bolsheviks

The Bolsheviks do their singing and get jumped by the Harts to start fast. Volkoff is knocked to the floor and the Hart Attack finishes Zhukov at 19 seconds. Hart counting to three at the camera was a great touch. And now it’s time for the Harts to go after the Tag Team Titles.

Wrestlemania VII is coming to the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. Well maybe if they can get tickets to a game on their way to the Sports Arena.

Tito Santana is ready for the Barbarian.

Tito Santana vs. The Barbarian

Bobby Heenan is here with Barbarian, who Santana can’t drop to start. Barbarian runs him over instead and tries a powerbomb, only for Santana to punch his way out. Barbarian’s middle rope elbow misses though and Santana comes back with the flying forearm. Heenan puts the foot on the ropes like a good manager should, allowing Barbarian to get in a throat snap across the top. The top rope clothesline absolutely destroys Santana (in an awesome sell) for the pin at 4:20.

Rating: C+. Santana was trying here and Barbarian was perfectly capable of having this kind of a match. Barbarian got in his power stuff and looked impressive, but that clothesline is all people remember from the match. That’s for good reason too, as Santana sold the thing like death.

We recap Dusty Rhodes/Sapphire vs. Randy Savage/Queen Sherri. It’s basically the men were feuding and the women got involved. Simple and to the point here.

Dusty Rhodes and Sapphire are ready to prove that they are better than royalty and promise the Crown Jewel. Great. Now we’re going to Saudi Arabia.

Dusty Rhodes/Sapphire vs. Randy Savage/Queen Sherri

Ventura has a big problem believing that Rhodes and Sapphire combine to weigh 465lbs, as Sapphire is at least 250. Rhodes and Sapphire do indeed have the Crown Jewel in the form of Miss Elizabeth, who comes to the ring as Savage loses his mind. The men start things off as commentary explains the rules, as this is a first time ever match in the WWF.

Sherri tries a cheap shot on Rhodes and gets pulled into the corner by Sapphire, leaving Ventura panicking over a camera shot from behind Sapphire. Rhodes pulls a diving Savage out of the air and it’s off to the women. Sapphire sends the villains into each other and airplane spins Sherri. Savage comes back in and gets his arms tied up, allowing Sapphire to get in a slap.

Back up and Savage sends him outside for a top rope ax handle, setting up Sherri for a knee to the gut. Sapphire comes over and gets thrown down, with Ventura being far too pleased. Back in and Savage hits a suplex, allowing Sherri to hit a top rope splash for two, already going against the rules of the match. Rhodes comes back in and elbows away at Savage before Sapphire comes back in to suplex Sherri. Elizabeth throws her back in and even gets in a shot to Sherri. Sapphire gets a rollup for the pin at 7:38.

Rating: C. They were very smart to keep Sapphire out of the ring save for a few fun spots and that’s the right way to go. At the end of the day, she wasn’t much of a wrestler but she wasn’t being presented as one so it’s not some big stretch. The match might not have been good, but it was certainly fun and that’s all you need at times.

Post match Savage tries a scepter shot but Rhodes takes it away. Savage manages to get his crown on as he runs off because he’s awesome that way. Dancing ensues.

Gene Okerlund asks Bobby Heenan where he has the “ba….the nerve” to hit Andre in the face. Heenan makes various threats and actually loses his train of thought, leaving him with a blank stare. Gene brings him back to reality and Heenan goes on a rant about starting a new Family (true actually). Ignore Heenan being all sweaty and disheveled due to the Andre thing, but looking perfectly fine for the Barbarian match in between them.

Rona Barrett suggests that Jesse Ventura has done an adult movie. Gorilla Monsoon is WAY too interested in this.

Randy Savage rants about mind games.

Demolition, who haven’t had a shower despite winning the titles an hour ago, are happy with their title win and they’re ready for the Hart Foundation.

Hulk Hogan says the power lies in his hand. Then when he gets Ultimate Warrior on his knees, he’ll ask if Warrior wants to live forever. The Hulkamaniacs can save him and bring him from the darkness into the light. Hogan says it doesn’t matter whether he wins or loses (there’s your red flag) because it’s about being a good winner or loser. Hopefully Warrior is a good loser.

Ultimate Warrior throws Sean Mooney out, saying he doesn’t deserve to breathe the same air as Warrior and Hogan. Warrior then goes on some rant about how no one can live forever but he wants to merge the Little Warriors and the Hulkamaniacs. Then he wants to bring Hogan to a new place where he has never been before. Dubuque, Iowa?

Orient Express vs. Rockers

Mr. Fuji is here with the Express. Jannetty knocks Tanaka down to start but Tanaka hits a superkick (close enough). The Rockers clear the ring and hit stereo dives (a big spot for 1990), with Fuji not being pleased in the slightest. Back in and the Express stomps away in the corner before Tanaka gives Michaels a gutbuster.

A spinning forearm cuts Michaels off again before Sato grabs a quickly broken nerve hold. Michaels fights up and brings in Jannetty as everything breaks down. Fuji offers a distraction though and Sato gets in some salt to Jannetty’s eyes. Jannetty even stumbles over the barricade (sounds like a normal night for Marty) and it’s a countout at 7:43.

Rating: C+. This is a match that should have been awesome but it was just mostly ok. Allegedly the Rockers were VERY hung over for the match and that’s probably the reason for a lot of the issues. That being said, it’s still a good match and they would have a much better match the following year at the Royal Rumble (subbing in Kato for Saito helped).

Steve Allen introduces Rhythm & Blues. Allen: “They have been called one of the greatest bands to come along in quite a long time. Unfortunately they are not here tonight so here are Rhythm & Blues.” Allen suggests that the Honky Tonk Man is similar to Elvis. As in Costello. More jokes ensue, including Valentine saying they’re going to the Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame. Allen: “I’ll call them and warn them you’re coming.” Yeah it’s corny but Allen is funny enough.

Jim Duggan vs. Dino Bravo

Duggan is waving the American flag (which is wrapped up to the point where you can’t see the stars at first) and Ventura points out how dumb that might be in Canada. Bravo has Earthquake and Jimmy Hart with him so this isn’t likely to go well. Duggan slugs away to start and Bravo is knocked outside.

Back in and Duggan hits an atomic drop before slugging away in the corner. Bravo fights back and drops a big elbow before sending Duggan face first into the buckle. Since there’s nothing there to hurt, it fires Duggan up but Bravo kicks him down again. Duggan fights up and makes the comeback so Earthquake offers a distraction. The 2×4 shot to the back gives Duggan the pin at 4:38.

Rating: C-. Good example of “what else were you expecting”, even with Earthquake out there for the likely post match beatdown. Duggan is such a goofy fun star and that was always his thing. It was certainly on display here and the match wasn’t any good, but it’s almost impossible to boo Duggan. Even with his flag issues aside of course.

Post match Earthquake drops Duggan and gives him two Earthquakes.

We recap Jake Roberts vs. Ted DiBiase, which is a long running feud over Roberts stealing DiBiase’s money and the belt. Now the belt is on the line.

Roberts talks about how there are people who could use DiBiase’s money but he mocks and humiliates them. Now it’s time for DiBiase to be mocked and humiliated, a victim of his own greed.

Million Dollar Title: Jake Roberts vs. Ted DiBiase

DiBiase is defending and has Virgil with him. They slug it out to start and Roberts tries an early DDT, sending DiBiase bailing out to the floor. They both miss elbows and DiBiase has to run from another pair of DDT attempts. Back in and Roberts works on a hammerlock, even managing to send DiBiase bailing out to the floor. DiBiase slowly gets back in and walks into a knee, only to avoid a running knee in the corner to leave Roberts down for a change.

The front facelock goes on as the fans do the Wave before they go outside, with Roberts getting posted. A piledriver gets a VERY delayed two, with even Ventura getting on DiBiase for taking so much time. The Million Dollar Dream goes on and Roberts finally falls into the ropes for the break.

DiBiase goes up but gets punched out of the air, allowing Roberts to start the comeback. Virgil offers a distraction though and Roberts goes outside to take care of him. The Million Dollar Dream goes on again outside, with Roberts sending him into the post. Virgil earns his pay though by sending DiBiase back inside to beat the count out 11:49.

Rating: C. For some reason, these two just could not have a good match if they tried. They’re a pair that should have made for solid matches up and down the circuit and it just never happened. That was the case again here, with the countout making things even worse than usual.

Post match DiBiase gets some money out so Roberts beats him up. Virgil bails with the belt but Roberts plants DiBiase with the DDT. Roberts gives away the money, including $100 to Mary Tyler Moore. Damien is loaded up but Virgil runs back in for a distraction and escapes.

Slick and Akeem (who can’t stop dancing) are ready for some revenge on the Big Boss Man.

The freshly turned Big Boss Man talks about how he isn’t going to take money from Ted DiBiase. He may be poor, but he’s proud.

Akeem vs. Big Boss Man

Boss Man’s sneer as he rides the ring cart to the ring is borderline terrifying. Hold on though as Ted DiBiase is still at ringside and jumps the Boss Man on the floor. So the match officially begins with Akeem hitting a splash, with Gorilla and Ventura arguing over interference. Apparently this is TOTALLY DIFFERENT than Elizabeth interfering earlier. Akeem hammers away in the corner but Boss Man knocks him out of the corner and makes the comeback. Some whips into the corner have Akeem in trouble and a clothesline puts him down. Boss Man hammers away and hits the Boss Man Slam for the pin at 1:51.

Sean Mooney talks to various fans about Rhythm & Blues sing. One fan: “I DON’T CARE!” He also talks to Mary Tyler Moore, who clearly has no idea what is going on and doesn’t care. Mooney: “She’ll always be Mary Richards to me.”

We get a rare production gaffe as the bell rings before Rhythm & Blues come to the ring to play their new song live. They come out in a pink Cadillac, complete with a totally unknown Diamond Dallas Page driving (it was his car). Monsoon dubs the girls in the car the Honkettes and Jesse LOSES IT for some reason. Anyway, they do indeed play Hunka Hunka Hunka Honky Love…until the Bushwhackers come out and wreck everything. Honky Tonk Man felt so useless after losing the Intercontinental Title (which was kind of the point) but Valentine trying so hard with this completely out of nowhere gimmick change is still amusing.

The official attendance: 67,678. Not bad.

Rick Rude vs. Jimmy Snuka

Bobby Heenan is here with Rude and Steve Allen is on commentary. Rude jumps him from behind and starts the big forearms to the back, only to miss a dropkick (not his most common move). Snuka gets in a few shots to the ribs and mocks Rude, only for Rude to slug him right back down. A poke to the eye cuts Snuka off again but he comes back with a flying headbutt. Snuka’s middle rope headbutt misses though and the Rude Awakening is good for the pin at 3:49.

Rating: C. Yeah this is something that probably should have been cut due to time, but this was important enough for the future. Rude’s hair was slicked back here to get rid of his goofy looking style and he won clean in the end. It wasn’t a memorable match in any way, but what mattered here was Rude feeling like a more serious star and they made it work well enough.

We recap Hulk Hogan vs. the Ultimate Warrior. They went face to face in the Royal Rumble and it was the most amazing thing ever, as it was hard to imagine the match actually happening. The match was set up, Hogan saved Warrior from Earthquake, Warrior saved Hogan from Earthquake, and they had a mini feud with Mr. Perfect and the Genius. None of that stuff mattered though, because Hogan vs. Warrior was going to happen.

WWF Title/Intercontinental Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Ultimate Warrior

Title for title so they’re both defending. Warrior gets to run to the ring and that’s not likely to go well. Hogan walks (being the only two to not use the ring carts) and that imagine of Warrior doing his pose on the buckle is one of the first wrestling imagines I can ever remember. You don’t get to say this and actually mean it very often, but this is the definition of a split crowd. Both of them are cheered and the fans are giving no sign that one is more popular than the other. They take their belts off and do the staredown and my goodness you can feel the intensity.

They shove each other and pose before going to the test of strength with even Jesse saying this is totally even. Warrior gets him down to his knees and that is a game changer (Ventura: “WHO WOULD HAVE EVER THOUGHT!”) as the idea of a good guy being able to do that to Hogan was unthinkable. Hogan powers up to set the universe right and Warrior goes down for one of your famous shots from the match. Warrior starts to get up so Hogan trips him down and drops a leg for two.

They do the criss cross until Hogan hits a slam, with Warrior popping back up to scare Hogan to death. Back up and Warrior hits his own slam, with a bit more effect. A clothesline puts Hogan on the floor and he comes up holding up his knee. Warrior is smart to kick at the knee but Hogan tells the referee he’s getting back in, where Hogan suddenly forgets about the knee (it’s never brought up again) to make the quick comeback.

Hogan drops some elbows and we hit the front facelock as Warrior is blown up and needs a breather. A small package sets up a chinlock before Hogan hits a clothesline for two. The chinlock goes on again as they are barely able to hide that Warrior is in trouble. Some knees to the back (Monsoon: “Cervical vertebrae!” Ventura: “No Monsoon, IT’S THE BACK!”) set up another chinlock as we’re firmly in the middle of the match, though the crowd is still right there with them.

Back up and they hit a double clothesline, with Ventura accurately saying that Hogan should be in control still because he had done so much more damage. Warrior starts to shake the ropes for the comeback as he now has some more oxygen, meaning it’s time to whip Hogan into various corners. A bearhug has Hogan in trouble and we get two arm drops. Hogan punches his way to freedom and Warrior accidentally runs the referee over.

Back to back top rope ax handles stagger Hogan but he avoids the flying should to spike Warrior into the mat. That’s good for no count so Hogan gets up, with Warrior belly to back suplexing him to even the match at a visual pinfall apiece. The referee gets back up (if this had been modern wrestling, there would have been a ridiculous heel turn or interference and it would have been awful) to count some very delayed twos.

Warrior gets sent outside and Hogan gets sent into the post. The gorilla press into the Warrior Splash gets two as it’s time to Hulk Up. The comeback is on and the big boot connects but the legdrop misses (GASP!). Warrior hits another quick splash for the pin and the title at 22:45, with Hogan kicking out at 3.01, because Warrior was just a hair better, but that’s all he needed to be.

Rating: A. This very well may be the greatest example of a match being elevated by the crowd. The match itself is good and a back and forth match which told a story, but the crowd turned it from a match to an event. Just watching these two go face to face felt special and it came off like the dawning of a new era. That era didn’t go so well, but the start of it was incredible. It’s not an all time classic wrestling match, but it’s professional wrestling at an incredibly high level and that is more than noteworthy.

Post match the referee gives Warrior the titles but we go tight on the Warrior so the referee can hand the WWF Title back to the Fink. That lets Hogan pick up the title and hand it over for the big hero moment. Hogan gets to leave and salutes Warrior as the pyro goes off and posing ensues. Even Ventura praises Hogan for the big sendoff in a moment you don’t often see.

Overall Rating: B. This show is really kind of astounding as it’s fondly remembered, but there is NOTHING on here but the main event. You have a few nice moments, but so many of the matches are completely forgettable if not downright skippable. They banked everything on Hogan vs. Warrior and luckily those two hit it so far out of the park that the ball wound up back in America. It’s a one match show, but my goodness what a match that is.

Results
Rick Martel b. Koko B. Ware – Boston crab
Demolition b. Colossal Connection – Demolition Decapitator to Haku
Earthquake b. Hercules – Earthquake
Brutus Beefcake b. Mr. Perfect – Slingshot into the post
Hart Foundation b. Bolsheviks – Hart Attack to Zhukov
The Barbarian b. Tito Santana – Top rope clothesline
Dusty Rhodes/Sapphire b. Randy Savage/Queen Sherri – Rollup to Sherri
Orient Express b. Rockers via countout
Ted DiBiase b. Jake Roberts via countout
Ultimate Warrior b. Hulk Hogan – Warrior Splash

Ratings Comparison

Rick Martel vs. Koko B. Ware

Original: D
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: C

Demolition vs. Colossal Connection

Original: C-
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: C+

Earthquake vs. Hercules

Original: D-
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C

Brutus Beefcake vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: C
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: C
2025 Redo: C+

Roddy Piper vs. Bad News Brown

Original: A
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: C
2025 Redo: C

Hart Foundation vs. Bolsheviks

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2025 Redo: N/A

Barbarian vs. Tito Santana

Original: D
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: C+

Dusty Rhodes/Sapphire vs. Randy Savage/Sensational Sherri

Original: D-
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: C-
2025 Redo: C

Orient Express vs. Rockers

Original: C
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: C+

Jim Duggan vs. Dino Bravo

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D-
2025 Redo: C-

Ted DiBiase vs. Jake Roberts

Original: C
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: C
2025 Redo: C

Big Boss Man vs. Akeem

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2025 Redo: N/A

Rick Rude vs. Jimmy Snuka

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C

Ultimate Warrior vs. Hulk Hogan

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A
2015 Redo: A
2025 Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: C+
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: C
2025 Redo: B

Geez it’s better than those previous reviews would have you believe. It’s not even a bad show and the main event is more than good enough to carry it.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble 1991
Date: January 19, 1991
Location: Miami Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 16,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Roddy Piper

It’s been a minute (or about eleven years) since I’ve done this show so we might as well take advantage of it being uploaded. It’s the height of the WWF using the Gulf War as a top story, which is why the evil Sgt. Slaughter is getting the WWF Title shot against the Ultimate Warrior. And there’s that whole Royal Rumble thing. Let’s get to it.

We open with a shot of a massive American flag because it’s going to be one of those shows. This takes us to the Star Spangled Banner.

The opening video hypes up some potential Royal Rumble winner, though thankfully we do hear about the rest of the card.

Roddy Piper gives quite the promo about how much he cares for the military.

Orient Express vs. Rockers

Mr. Fuji is here with the Express (Tanaka/Kato version), who jump the Rockers to start but are quickly cleared out. The Rockers go up so Kato pulls Tanaka to the floor, meaning it’s time for stereo suicide dives (a really big spot back in the day). We settle down to Jannetty headlocking Kato down, which doesn’t last long.

Instead Kato takes him into the corner, where Jannetty’s leapfrog leaves the Express crashing into each other. Michaels comes in to start on the arm but Tanaka is back up with a leg lariat. The chinlock keeps Michaels down, which doesn’t last long either as he’s on his feet for the jumping knee. Now it’s Michaels grabbing his own chinlock, followed by a sleeper to mix it up a bit.

That doesn’t last very long and everything breaks down, with the Express actually getting the better of a do-see-do. The Rockers backflip out though and stereo dropkicks have the Express on the floor. The big planchas take them out again and it’s a double back elbow for two on Kato. Jannetty slaps on the chinlock for a bit before handing it back to Michaels, who is taken into the wrong corner.

The nerve hold goes on for a good while before a double clothesline gives Tanaka two. Michaels kicks Tanaka down so the Express tries to use their belt…which Michaels dives onto sent them into each other. See he’s not just good, but he’s smart. Jannetty comes in to clean house, even with some not great dropkicks.

Everything breaks down and Tanaka kicks Jannetty into a backslide for two as we slow back down. Michaels trips Kato down for two but Jannetty gets catapulted into a chop. Back up and the catapult is loaded up again but Michaels makes a save, allowing Jannetty to sunset flip Tanaka for the pin at 19:13.

Rating: B. Good stuff here, with the Rockers getting to show just how talented they really were. Their eventual split is what gets the attention but they could do some great stuff in the ring as well. It’s nice to see a match like this getting some time and it made for an awesome opener. Throw in the underrated Express getting their chance to showcase themselves and it made for a heck of an opener.

Randy Savage says he’s the best WWF Champion of all time and it’s time for Queen Sherri to bait the Ultimate Warrior into giving Savage a title shot.

We go to the arena where Gene Okerlund is on the platform with Sherri, who wants to challenge the Ultimate Warrior. She knows Sgt. Slaughter would give Randy Savage a title shot because he’s brave, but she’s not sure in Warrior’s case. Sherri calls Warrior out for a chat but he won’t say anything about the challenge. She then talks about his lips, chest and hair while walking around him.

With that not working, she opens his jacket and kneels before him, asking if Warrior will be honorable and a great champion by giving Savage a title shot. Warrior starts shaking and screams NO in her face and we cut to the back where Savage is livid and swears revenge. He runs into the arena but Warrior is gone. This segment has always been kind of cringey and that was the feeling again here.

Big Boss Man vs. Barbarian

This is part of Boss Man’s march through the Heenan Family (meaning Bobby Heenan is here too) to get revenge on Heenan himself. Barbarian bails to the floor to start and walks around a bit, getting inside for the lockup about 1:45 in. Boss Man boots him in the face and hits an elbow which has Barbarian out on the floor and Boss Man spinning in circles. You can criticize Boss Man about a few things, but in this era, he was never phoning it in.

Back in and Barbarian gets in a shot to go up top, only for Boss Man to knock him out of the air. A Cactus Clothesline sends Barbarian outside for another breather, with Boss Man rather fired up (shocking I know). Back in and Barbarian muscles him up with a suplex and hits a clothesline as commentary talks about how strong these two really are. Well, yeah, they’re power wrestlers.

They head outside, with Boss Man’s back being sent into the post to leave him down for a bit. Even Heenan can get in a few shots before Boss Man is sent inside for a bearhug. The comeback doesn’t last long as the bearhug goes right back on. Boss Man fights out again and manages a knockdown to get a bit of a break.

A clothesline gives Boss Man two as the foot is on the rope, meaning it’s a collision to leave them both down again. Barbarian gets up top for the clothesline but walks into the Boss Man Slam….for two, as he gets a hand on the rope. Boss Man is knocked back again so Barbarian goes up for a high crossbody, with Boss Man rolling through for the pin at 14:15.

Rating: C+. Boss Man was doing some of his best work around this point and it was interesting to see him face someone who could match him with power. This was just another step in the Heenan Family story for Boss Man and that’s not a bad way to go. The fans were behind him here and that isn’t a surprise given the effort he was putting in every time he was out there.

Sgt. Slaughter and General Adnan promise to create even more turmoil. The people here need a leader and he will provide that, as Ultimate Warrior’s time as champion is no longer even measured in hours.

Ultimate Warrior isn’t so convinced.

WWF Title: Sgt. Slaughter vs. Ultimate Warrior

Slaughter, with General Adnan, is challenging and Piper goes off about the love of the military again. A cheap shot with the flag pole doesn’t work as Warrior knocks Slaughter outside and rips up the Iraqi flag, sending Piper into overdrive. The flag is shoved into Slaughter’s mouth (that isn’t sanitary) and there’s his big bump over the corner.

Cue Sherri to watch at ringside as Warrior sends him back inside for the running shoulders. Sherri trips the leg so the chase is on, with Savage jumping Warrior near the entrance. A shot with a light stand leaves Warrior down and he takes his sweet time getting back to the ring. Thankfully Slaughter is smart enough to keep breaking up the count, as otherwise he can’t win the title.

Back in and Slaughter hits a backbreaker and spits on him before sending Warrior face first into the curled boot. A double clothesline gives them a double breather, with Slaughter popping up first…and falling right back down. Warrior gets up as well and walks right into a bearhug. That’s broken up so Slaughter drops him again, this time for the camel clutch. The feet are underneath the ropes though and Warrior starts another comeback, only to have to pull in the invading Sherri. Cue Savage with the scepter to shatter it over the Warrior’s head (because this referee is blind), giving Slaughter the pin and the title at 12:45.

Rating: C. They had to do it. Slaughter was the top heel in the company, but more importantly, Warrior just wasn’t clicking as champion. It was clear that there was nothing going on there and while you could put part of that on things beyond Warrior’s control (Hogan still being around), he wasn’t working in the spot. Yeah the result is there to set up Hogan triumphing for America, but what choice did they have?

Warrior chases after Savage and Slaughter is announced as champion, sending Monsoon and Piper into some awesome rants about how he didn’t earn it.

The Mountie vs. Koko B. Ware

Jimmy Hart is here with Mountie. They start slowly with Ware chasing him out to the floor, meaning it’s time to hit the stall button. Back in and Ware takes him down by the arm and cranks away, earning himself a right hand. Mountie avoids a charge and sends him out to the floor, followed by what looks like a claw back inside. Naturally Hart goes over to mock Frankie the bird, because Hart is amazing.

The piledriver is loaded up but Ware backdrops his way to freedom. Ware fights back and hits the missile dropkick (sticking the landing of course) but he makes the mistake of going after Hart. The distraction lets Mountie grab something like a chokeslam (uh, ok then) for the pin at 9:12.

Rating: C-. This was the filleriest of filler matches you could ask for, with pretty much nothing of note happening, saves for Ware’s always awesome dropkick. That being said, Hart yelling at Frankie was one of the best things I’ve seen in a long time, as Hart was always fine with looking goofy. Somehow, Mountie would be Intercontinental Champion a year later. The biggest surprise? The gimmick lasted for A YEAR.

Randy Savage isn’t sorry for costing Ultimate Warrior the title. Then he and Sherri run away at the sound of someone at the door.

Sgt. Slaughter and General Adnan are proud of their victory because they told you so. Unlike the rest of the military, he has no boundaries. We must be in intermission.

Piper goes on another rant about Slaughter. If there was a February PPV, Piper getting a title shot would have been ALL the money.

Jake Roberts, Earthquake, Greg Valentine, the Texas Tornado, the Legion Of Doom, Undertaker (with Brother Love), Jim Duggan, Rick Martel, Mr. Perfect and Tugboat are ready for the Royal Rumble.

Roddy Piper doesn’t think much of Virgil being Ted DiBiase’s servant.

DiBiase says Virgil does everything for him for the almighty dollar. Virgil looks ready to kill him.

Ted DiBiase/Virgil vs. Dusty Rhodes/Dustin Rhodes

No polka dots for Dusty here. The villains are cleared out to start and DiBiase tells Virgil to go take them out. Back in and Dustin takes over on Virgil without much trouble, followed by a clothesline out to the floor. Virgil gets sent outside again and now DiBiase is willing to do it himself. That means taking over on Dustin, so it’s quickly off to Dusty for the elbows in the corner.

The sleeper has DiBiase in more trouble so Virgil has to make a save. Dustin comes back in and gets his knee taken out, allowing Virgil to actually take over for once. DiBiase wraps the knee around the post and it’s time for some double teaming…but Virgil clotheslines DiBiase by mistake. That’s too much for DiBiase, who beats Virgil up and sends him outside, only for Dusty to miss a charge and get rolled up (with trunks) for the pin at 9:58.

Rating: C. The match was pretty much just a backdrop for Virgil finally having enough of DiBiase, to the point where it got physical between them. They had a great run but you had to do the turn at some point and this made sense. At the same time, this was pretty much it for Dusty and Dustin, with the former heading back to (kind of) run WCW, where he was much better suited.

Post match DiBiase berates Virgil again and orders him to put the Million Dollar Title around his waist. Instead, Virgil throws it down, with DiBiase telling him to pick it up. Virgil does so, and blasts him with the belt for the big turn and monster pop. And then after Wrestlemania, they never could follow up on it.

Hulk Hogan promises to win the Royal Rumble for the troops. We’re told that Sgt. Slaughter is planning to deface the American flag and you might as well just make Wrestlemania right now. Then Hogan forgets Sadaam Hussein’s name and the whole thing goes off the rails.

Royal Rumble

Two minute intervals and Bret Hart is in at #1 (second time in four years) and Dino Bravo is in at #2. Piper does his job as a commentator and makes sure to go over the rules (remember that this is only the third time with the 30 man variety so it was still pretty new) as Hart takes over with an early atomic drop. Bravo knocks him down and starts stomping away but misses the elbow as Greg Valentine is in at #3. Valentine goes after Bravo as we’re still in his bizarre face run. That works as well as…well as well as Valentine’s face turn, though he does toss Bravo out.

Hart goes to toss Valentine out but it’s Paul Roma in at #4 (with Slick running after him for a weird visual) to break it up. The three slug it out until Kerry Von Erich is in at #5, giving us a tag match which would leave Hart wondering what in the world he’s supposed to do. They pair off for a bit until Rick Martel is in at #6. That means more general brawling until Saba Simba is in at #7 to add some muscle.

Even more brawling ensues with no one even getting close to an elimination until Butch is in at #8. Martel dumps Simba to clear the ring out a bit and it’s Jake Roberts (who cannot stand Martel) in at #9 to go right after him to a huge reaction. The short arm clothesline sends Martel under the ropes to the floor, with Valentine cutting Roberts off on the way back inside. Roberts can’t quite knock Martel off the apron and it’s Hercules in at #10. That gives us Hart, Valentine, Roma, Von Erich, Martel, Butch, Roberts and Hercules for rather unique midcard lineup.

That means more standing around on the ropes and brawling until Tito Santana is in at #11. Roma misses a charge and crashes out to the floor and Von Erich grabs a Claw on I believe Hercules. Undertaker is in at #12 and immediately gets rid of Hart before doing the scary faced choking. Jimmy Snuka (with his crazy afro) is in at #13 and Undertaker tosses Butch as they’re doing a better job of keeping things moving. Davey Boy Smith is in at #14 and the ring is starting to get full.

There’s nothing else going on at the moment so we’ll stop to look at fans who realize they can get on TV near the front row, leaving the security guard to clear them out. There’s nothing in particular about these fans, but it’s talking about them or talking about Hercules and Von Erich in the Royal Rumble. Smash is in at #15 and the nothing continues. Roberts is tossed out and Hawk is in at #16, with a bunch of people going after him.

That’s broken up and it’s Shane Douglas (looking like Brian Pillman) in at #17. Von Erich and Snuka are out back to back and #18….is no one, as nobody comes through the curtain. More on this later so we’ll go with Undertaker hitting Smith low without doing much damage. The person who didn’t enter is officially eliminated and Animal is in at #19. The LOD gets rid of Undertaker but Hawk is thrown out as well, with Crush coming in at #20.

That gives us Valentine, Martel, Hercules, Santana, Bulldog, Smash, Douglas, Animal and Crush. Demolition double teams the Bulldog and Jim Duggan is in at #21. Animal’s bearhug on Martel doesn’t last long and it’s Earthquake in at #22. Animal fires off some running clotheslines but misses a charge and gets dumped. Mr. Perfect is in at #23 and takes a heck of a bump off Duggan’s whip into the corner. It might not make sense from a physics standpoint but it looked good. Duggan’s missed charge puts him out as well and none of that matters as Hulk Hogan is in at #24.

A bunch of people jump him but Smash is the first one out. Some right hands rock Earthquake but Perfect comes over to cut Hogan off. Smith makes a save of his own and it’s Haku in at #25. Hogan tosses Valentine to little fanfare after almost 45 minutes and Jim Neidhart is in at #26. Santana is out and Luke it in at #27, lasting a then record 4 seconds before marching right back to the back (and it’s still funny).

Brian Knobbs is in at #28 and things are slowing down a big. Hogan sends Perfect into the corner, likely jealous over Perfect wearing the yellow singlet. Knobbs actually tosses Hercules and it’s Warlord in at #29. Hogan tosses Crush and gets pummeled by Knobbs, with Perfect coming over to help. Perfect chops Warlord by mistake so Hogan is back over to go after Warlord as well. A clothesline gets rid of Warlord and it’s Tugboat to complete the field (meaning Randy Savage was #18 who didn’t show up, likely out of fear of the Ultimate Warrior).

We have a final grouping of Martel, Bulldog, Douglas, Earthquake, Perfect, Hogan, Haku, Neidhart, Knobbs and Tugboat, which isn’t exactly great. Douglas is tossed and Tugboat actually splashes Hogan in the corner, which is good for a toss to the apron. Back up and Hogan dumps Tugboat, which is actually deserved for once. Bulldog dropkicks Perfect out and Martel actually dumps Neidhart.

Bulldog backdrops Haku out as the ring is clearing in a hurry. That leaves us with five, as Martel goes up, which just seems dump. Bulldog crotches him on top and hits a clothesline, leaving us with Bulldog, Hogan, Earthquake and Knobbs. Earthquake and Knobbs get rid of Bulldog and Earthquake splashes Hogan, which means it’s time to celebrate.

The Earthquake crushes Hogan, who pops up and kicks Knobbs out without much trouble. The big boot drops Earthquake and Jimmy Hart’s interference is easily cut off. Hogan tries a slam but Earthquake falls on top of him and the big elbow crushes Hogan again. Earthquake powerslams Hogan, which triggers the Hulk Up. Hogan hits the slam and knocks him out to win at 1:05:18.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t exactly a thrilling Rumble, but it was best known as the one where Brian Knobbs was there at the end. What else do you really need to know about it? The last two years have ended with Hogan facing a pair of villains. Last year it was Rick Rude and Mr. Perfect, while this year it was Earthquake and Knobbs. There were a few ok parts to the match, but Hogan had to win after the big soul crushing loss from Warrior. They were still figuring out the Rumble formula here and this didn’t work very well.

Hogan poses a lot, including holding a bunch of signs to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. It was not a good time for the WWF and this show was a good illustration of why. You had a good opener, but the rest of the show is just totally mediocre, with something of a transition from the Golden Era taking place. Things wouldn’t get much better anytime soon, though Savage vs. Warrior would be rather excellent. Unfortunately that didn’t happen here, as instead we got a bunch of matches which were just kind of there, plus the good opener. Skip this one, as you probably have.

Ratings Comparison

The Rockers vs. The Orient Express

Original: A
2013 Redo: B+
2026 Redo: B

Big Boss Man vs. Barbarian

Original: B
2013 Redo: C
2026 Redo: C+

Sgt. Slaughter vs. Ultimate Warrior

Original: D
2013 Redo: D+
2026 Redo: C

The Mountie vs. Koko B. Ware

Original: D
2013 Redo: D
2026 Redo: C-

Ted DiBiase/Virgil vs. Dustin Rhodes/Dusty Rhodes

Original: B
2013 Redo: D+
2026 Redo: C

Royal Rumble

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D
2026 Redo: C-

Overall Rating

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D+
2026 Redo: C-

Geez and I thought I was being harsh on the show this time.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

WrestleFest 1994
Commentators: Stan Lane, Gorilla Monsoon, Johnny Polo
Host: Randy Savage

This is another entry in a series of Coliseum Videos with a bunch of allegedly awesome matches from the time period. That isn’t the most likely situation, as these things are absolutely hit and miss, though the matches teased could be much worse. Hopefully it’s on the good end here so let’s get to it.

The opening sequence likely previews what we’ll be seeing.

Randy Savage is our host and is going to give us fashion tips. Oh this could be fun.

From January 12, 1994 in Florence, South Carolina (though it also might be January 11, 1994 in Fayetteville, North Carolina as sources vary).

Rick Martel vs. Randy Savage

Savage backs him up to start but Martel does the same, including a slap to the face. That doesn’t seem to be the best idea against a noted psycho like Savage, who chases him to the floor. Back in and Martel does some jumping jacks, followed by even more on the outside. Martel has to jump over him back inside so Savage starts slugging him in the face. That’s enough for Martel to bail out to the floor for a bit, followed by a headlock so Savage can grind away.

An atomic drop can’t even get Martel out of trouble and he eventually sends Savage outside to quite the reaction. A suplex drops Savage for two and we’re off to the reverse chinlock to stay on the back. Savage is back up and knocks him outside for a top rope ax handle out to the floor for two back inside. Martel manages to whip him into the corner but the charge hits the post. The top rope elbow gives Savage the pin at 9:19.

Rating: C+. The more I watch Martel, the more impressed I am with him. He really was that good in the ring and if he had something to freshen him up a bit, he could have gone even further. Savage was just about done in the WWF ring at this point and that’s a shame, as he was still more than acceptable.

Randy Savage doesn’t think much of IRS’ fashion sense. Eh the tie works.

From January 12, 1994 in Florence, South Carolina (it’s definitely a different arena than Savage vs. Martel, so I’m assuming that was in Fayetteville).

Tag Team Titles: Marty Jannetty/1-2-3 Kid vs. Headshrinkers

Jannetty and the Kid are in a rare defense (as they only held the titles for seven days). After a minute plus of stalling from the Headshrinkers, Jannetty gets knocked away a few times but grabs an armbar to some more success. Kid comes in to stay on the arm but gets knocked down just as fast. Fatu hits a heck of a powerslam for two but Kid gets in a dropkick to send him outside.

The quick dive connects and it’s back to Jannetty, who faceplants Samu to no effect. A nice superkick works better but it’s Fatu coming back in with the big clothesline to take over. The Kid gets drawn in, allowing Fatu to choke away in the corner. Jannetty gets sent hard into the corner, which draws Kid in again, meaning Jannetty is sent into the steps. Samu goes face first into the steps, which he shrugs off for a superkick to Jannetty instead.

Three straight backbreakers give Fatu two, with Monsoon getting ALL OVER HIM for the lazy cover. Fatu tries to block a sunset flip but punches the mat by mistake, allowing the much needed tag to the Kid. An anklescissors out of the corner sends Fatu outside and a double dropkick does the same to Fatu. The moonsault press drops Fatu but he’s up before one. Instead Kid sends him into the ropes, with Samu’s neck getting tied up. Afa comes in with a Samoan drop to the Kid, to give Fatu the pin and the titles at 10:17. And never mind as here’s another referee to say what happened so we’ll call it a DQ to retain the titles instead.

Rating: B. They were rolling by the end here as the Kid and Jannetty were a great choice for the underdogs. At the same time, there was no way they were going to be long term champions so the idea of the Headshrinkers taking the titles here was realistic. Seeing Afa get physical was weird enough, and it came at the end of a good match.

Randy Savage likes his own gear and praises Men On A Mission. Well maybe he’s not worth listening to after all.

From April 28, 1994 in Springfield, Massachusetts, Men On A Mission and Oscar do the WrestleFest 94 Rap. Yes this was a thing and it goes on for a good while.

Randy Savage says black is a good color for Undertaker, but even if it wasn’t, he wouldn’t want Undertaker mad.

From September 28, 1993 in Worcester, Massachusetts.

Undertaker vs. Adam Bomb

Bomb chokes away in the corner to start and sends him outside, where Undertaker is sent into the apron. A hard whip sends Undertaker knees first into the steps but he’s able to slug away back inside. Bomb’s boot to the face doesn’t do much good as it’s a chokeslam to finish him off at 2:42. This was absolutely nothing.

Post match Undertaker chokeslams Johnny Polo for a bonus.

Savage doesn’t like Jeff Jarrett’s clothes either. This stuff isn’t exactly thrilling. Can we get something a bit better to pick up the pace a bit?

From January 12, 1994 in Florence, South Carolina.

Steiner Brothers vs. Bret Hart/Owen Hart

Oh. Ok. Bret and Scott start things off with Bret getting in a fireman’s carry. Scott gets taken over to the rope and it’s back to a standoff. A leg sweep puts Bret down and Scott can grind away at a headlock, followed by a hard shoulder to send Bret outside. Back in and Bret gets two off a rollup before working on an armbar. Owen comes in to go to the mat with Rick, followed by a heck of a spinwheel kick for two on Scott.

That doesn’t work for Scott, who muscles him up with a tiger bomb, with Bret having to make a save. Bret comes in to face Rick, who takes him down by the arm and commences cranking. A slam can’t get Bret out of trouble but a knee to the ribs breaks it up, allowing Bret to miss an elbow. Rick is right back on the armbar, with Bret finally fighting up to hit a dropkick.

A DDT and legdrop keep Rick in trouble, setting up the sleeper. Rick eventually falls forward into the ropes for the break, which earns him a suplex from Bret. With Rick down, Bret goes up but dives into a raised boot. The top rope bulldog gives Rick two (Monsoon doesn’t like the lack of leg hooking) and it’s back to Scott, who avoids a charge to send Bret into the post. Back up and Bret suplexes him over the top and out onto the floor for one heck of a crash.

Owen gives Scott a slam and hits a top rope headbutt to the back for a painful looking crash. The abdominal stretch goes on (Monsoon: “This is not going to work.”) and indeed Scott powers out rather quickly. Instead it’s a belly to belly suplex to give Owen two and it’s back to Bret for the Russian legsweep. Owen comes back in and Bret kicks Scott in the back from the apron, only for Owen to miss a charge. Rick’s tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two and something like a Tombstone powerslam connects for the same.

Scott comes back in for a dragon suplex and the STEINER SCREWDRIVER (that will never be anything less than awesome). Bret has to make the save as Owen is DONE, with Scott sending Owen outside but Owen catapults Scott outside as well. Back in and the diving tag brings Bret in to pick up the pace, with a running clothesline getting two on Scott.

Both Harts try the Sharpshooter with Rick making a save but the Steiner Bulldog is countered into a victory roll to give Owen two. Rick and Bret are both knocked to the floor so Scott drops a top rope ax handle to put Bret down again. That’s enough for the double countout at 24:57.

Rating: A-. Sweet goodness what a match, as you had four incredibly talented wrestlers in there and they all knew exactly what they were doing. The Harts were able to do their thing despite only having so much experience as a team. At the same time, the Steiners were one of the best teams in the world at this point and it was always fun to see them. Definitely check this out if you haven’t before, as it’s the only time it ever happened.

Post match the brawl stays on with referees having to break it up. Owen wants to keep going and Scott gets the mic, saying they’re here to win. The Harts get back in and the fight is on again, with referees and agents not being able to do much to stop them. Monsoon: “Is that Pat Patterson? Holy mackerel did he get fat!” It’s finally broken up but Bret grabs the mic to say they aren’t going anywhere and it’s on again. Eventually things calm down and everyone hugs as this is over thirty minutes from start to end, or nearly a quarter of the tape. That’s hardly a complaint for once.

Savage wonders where Yokozuna gets his gear made but thank Heavens for spandex.

From October 19, 1993 in Glens Falls, New York.

WWF Title: Yokozuna vs. Mr. Perfect

Yokozuna, with Mr. Fuji, is defending and misses a charge to start, allowing Perfect to hammer away. A crossbody literally bounces off of Yokozuna but he misses an elbow. Perfect dropkicks him outside, where Yokozuna staggers into the post in a funny bit. Yokozuna starts to get back in so Perfect uses the rope for a low blow to stagger him again. The dropkick misses though and it’s time to start the slow chops.

Naturally the nerve hold goes on (with Yokozuna’s back to the camera, which doesn’t make much of a difference) until Perfect is knocked outside in a heap. Back in and Perfect manages a ram into the buckle but Yokozuna fights back, with Fuji demanding MORE PUNISHMENT. Perfect avoids a splash in the corner and Perfect strikes away, allowing a middle rope clothesline to finally drop Yokozuna. Fuji grabs the foot though and Yokozuna hits the splash in the corner. The Banzai Drop retains the title at 7:49.

Rating: B-. They kept it moving out there as the worst thing you could do with Yokozuna was have him out there too long. He was the textbook example of someone who was better in shorter doses and Perfect knew how to get the most out of their limited time. It was a nice match, as Perfect mixed things up a bit rather than just doing the standard punches.

Savage counts his hats (with some issues) and praises Bam Bam Bigelow and Luna Vachon’s fashion abilities.

From September 1, 1993 in Saginaw, Michigan.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Razor Ramon

Michaels, with Diesel, is defending and talks a lot of trash to start, earning himself a toothpick to the face. Ramon isn’t having any of Michaels standing around and throws him into the corner, only for Michaels to get in a ram to the buckle. A middle rope spinning sunset flip is broken up and Ramon punches him outside to quite the positive reception. Back in and Michaels’ attempt at a dropkick is catapulted outside as Michaels gets to keep up the crazy bumping.

Ramon misses a charge into the buckle back inside though and a top rope clothesline takes him down. Diesel almost gets caught interfering and Michaels uses the distraction to get in a cheap shot. Michaels hammers away with the ax handles to the back, plus a knee drop to said back for two. The chinlock goes on to keep Ramon in trouble as the fans are staying right in there with him.

Ramon fights up and hits a quick chokeslam to leave them both down for a breather. The very delayed cover gives Ramon two and he knocks Michaels outside again. That’s enough for Michaels and Diesel to try the walk out so the referee does the “you leave and you lose the title” deal, making Michaels come back to the ring. One heck of a backdrop gives Ramon two but the belly to back superplex is broken up.

Ramon rolls through a spinning high crossbody for two more and there’s the fall away slam for…three, with Michaels’ foot on the rope. Another referee comes in to point it out (second time on the tape) so we’re continuing (at least it’s a bit different). Michaels hits a superkick for two but Ramon is back with the Razor’s Edge, only for Diesel to pull Michaels out for the DQ at 13:07.

Rating: B. These two could have a good match in their sleep as they always had incredible chemistry. It was another rather awesome match between the two of them, even with the slightly repetitive ending. It’s still a shame that Ramon never got a chance to do something bigger than the Intercontinental Title in the WWF, as he had more than enough fan support to give it a chance.

Post match Diesel’s distraction doesn’t work as Michaels’ cheap shot completely misses. Ramon uses the belt to knock Michaels silly.

From April 26, 1994 in Burlington, Vermont.

It’s the King’s Court with Jerry Lawler saying he begged and prayed for this guest to be on his show. This guest has had to sign a contract guaranteeing that there will be no physical contact. First though, Lawler announces that it’s Bret Hart, but he has something to say about Hart before he comes out. Lawler calls Hart out as a coward from a long line of cowards and mocks Hart’s parents. Hart’s mother Helen is the only woman he knows that has an autographed copy of the Bible. When Cain murdered Able, she was on the jury!

We hear about Bret’s issues with Owen before Lawler talks about how Bret was an ugly baby. Now it’s time for Bret to join Lawler in the ring, with Lawler mocking him for getting to stand next to the real king. Bret talks about agreeing to no violence…and then drops Lawler with a right hand. The beating is on and Lawler is sent flying. Bret even puts on the crown for a bonus. This was pretty long, but Bret messing with Lawler was always worth a look.

From February 22, 1994 in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania.

Diesel vs. Bret Hart

Shawn Michaels is here with Diesel, who slowly hammers away to start. Diesel sends him hard into the corner and gets in the boot choke as Polo and Monsoon argue over who should win (those two had some great chemistry together). Hart starts in on the leg and cranks away on the mat as Monsoon goes on a rant about Michaels chewing gum. Monsoon: “You could choke on it! Here I’ve got some gum. Do you want some?”

A spinning toehold keeps Diesel in trouble until he powers his way to freedom. Diesel sends him outside for a cheap shot from Michaels, sending Monsoon into another rant. The side slam (Polo: “Side something. Side order of fries. I’m getting hungry Gorilla.”) gets two off a very weak cover, sending Monsoon…oh you know by this point. Diesel grabs a bearhug, sending Polo into an explanation of his knowledge of Greco-Roman wrestling, which involves owning a Greek diner frequented by Romans.

Hart fights up and manages a knockdown as it’s already time for the comeback. The Five Moves Of Doom are on with Hart going after the leg, only to have Michaels get on the apron. That’s cut off and Hart gets the Sharpshooter but here is Owen Hart to knock Bret out. Diesel gets the pin at 10:39, sending Polo into a hilarious victory celebration for picking the right result.

Rating: B-. Diesel was still figuring out the singles stuff here so this wasn’t close to the stuff they would wind up doing later. The good thing is that Bret was able to walk him through it, even if it might not have been his most inspired effort. At usual though, Monsoon and Polo were the highlight here, as they were often hilarious together.

Savage praises Bret for being a future Hall Of Famer and the pink and black are the best colors he has, has ever had and ever will have. Savage knows that sounded goofy but you get the idea to wrap it up.

Join the WWF Fan Club! I would have at this point if I had seen that ad.

Overall Rating: B+. When Randy Savage is in one of the weaker matches, you know you’ve got something good. This was one of the better Coliseum Videos I remember seeing, with the Harts vs. Steiners match absolutely stealing the show (which the WWF had to know would happen). I had a great time with this and it’s a surprise effort from a bleak time in the company’s history.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Survivor Series 1992
Date: November 25, 1992
Location: Richfield Coliseum, Richfield, Ohio
Attendance: 17,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

This was one of the Redo’s picked for Survivor Series and in a way, that is rather odd. In this case, there is very little Survivor Seriesing going on, with just one elimination match, which happens to be a tag team edition. Other than that, we have a huge tag match as Randy Savage and Mr. Perfect face Razor Ramon and Ric Flair, plus Bret Hart defending the WWE Title against Shawn Michaels. Let’s get to it.

Vince and Bobby run down the card. Bobby is NOT happy about Mr. Perfect joining forces with Randy Savage.

High Energy vs. Headshrinkers

Afa is here with the Headshrinkers. Samu shoves Hart down without much trouble to start but misses a crossbody. Hart’s crossbody and dropkick work far better and it’s off to Ware to work on the arm. For some reason Ware tries ramming their heads together, which works as well as you would expect. Afa gets in a cheap shot from the floor and Fatu runs Ware over with a hard clotheslines as the fans are not pleased.

The nerve hold (you knew that one was coming) goes on and another clothesline drops Ware again. Ware tries to fight up and is casually superkicked right back down (Fatu always had a good superkick). Back up and Ware avoids a charge, with Samu going head first into the post. That’s enough for the tag off to Hart to pick the pace way up. A high crossbody gets two on Fatu but Samu plants him with a powerslam. Fatu’s Superfly Splash finishes Hart at 7:40.

Rating: C+. I’ve always been a Headshrinkers fan and this was a good example of why. They did some things rather well (Fatu’s superkick and splash looked awesome) but they are a team where what you see is what you get. While High Energy was out there flying around and doing what they could, the Headshrinkers were out there to hit you hard and do their second generation Wild Samoan stuff. It worked back in the day and it worked again here in a nice opener.

Nailz, with that still weird deep voice, has been looking forward to hurting the Big Boss Man for a long time. Tonight, he gets the chance, with Boss Man unable to handcuff him to a steel bunk bed. Boss Man and his feel guards know what kind of a good climber he is! He committed no crime but tonight he’s ready to do horrible things to Boss Man with that nightstick. How Sean Mooney doesn’t crack up at all of this is unclear.

Big Boss Man doesn’t buy Nailz saying he’s an innocent man because he’s seen the file. His job is to make sure Nails serves hard time…and then he literally runs off to the ring.

Big Boss Man vs. Nailz

Nightstick on a pole match with Boss Man charging to the ring as Nailz is already climbing. Boss Man slugs away but gets whipped hard into the corner. Nailz hammers away but it’s too early for him to get the stick. Back up and Boss Man goes simple by punching him in the face, only to get slammed off when going for the stick. The chinlock goes on (Heenan: “RIP IT OFF!”) but Boss Man fights out, only to miss a splash.

Boss Man knocks him down again and they both get a breather. They get up for a double clothesline and they’re both down again. That’s enough for Boss Man to get the stick and deck Nailz in the face but he shrugs it off. A right hand makes Boss Man drop the stick and Nailz gets in a few shots of his own. Not that it matters as the Boss Man Slam is enough to pin Nailz at 5:40.

Rating: D+. The nightstick doesn’t make much of a difference if it doesn’t make an impact and that was the case here. They traded nightstick shots and barely hurt each other so there wasn’t much of a point. Other than that, it was a slow brawl without anything important. Lame stuff here as Boss Man was rapidly running out of steam.

Ric Flair and Razor Ramon aren’t happy with Mr. Perfect turning on them to join Mr. Savage as Ultimate Warrior’s replacement. We see a clip of Savage picking Perfect and Bobby Heenan running his mouth to make Perfect switch sides. Heenan begging for mercy and for Perfect to reconsider is such a Heenan thing for him to do. Flair and Ramon swear vengeance on the now crazy Perfect.

Heenan goes on a great rant against Perfect as only he could.

Rick Martel vs. Tatanka

This is during Martel’s kind of sailing captain phase and he has some of Tatanka’s feathers to make this personal. Tatanka gets driven into the corner to start but he reverses and chops away. Some dropkicks have Martel on the floor, followed by an atomic drop to put him outside again. Back in and Martel grabs a hot shot (Heenan approves) to take over.

The front facelock goes on as we hear about Sgt. Slaughter being Jack Tunney’s official rule enforcer. Tatanka suplexes his way out of a front facelock but Martel puts it right back on. Cue Doink The Clown as Martel knocks Tatanka back down and grabs the same front facelock. Tatanka fights up and hits a clothesline before avoiding a charge to send Martel shoulder first into the post.

The arm cranking goes on as the fans are just silent here. An armdrag into an armbar cuts off the energy again as this just keeps going. Martel fights up and sends him to the floor, only to get punched out of the air back inside. Tatanka starts the comeback and hits the top rope chop to the head. The Papoose To Go finally finishes Martel at 11:07.

Rating: D+. This is a good example of a match that wasn’t awful, but instead really boring. Tatanka and Martel could probably have a good match that runs about seven minutes but there is nothing you can get out of that many front facelocks and then Tatanka working the arm late in the match. Not a terrible match, but it took me a long time to get through it as it was just that dull.

Mr. Perfect and Randy Savage know that Ric Flair hates them being a team. Perfect is ready to take out Flair and Razor Ramon, because Bobby Heenan knows Perfect can beat both of them. Savage says if the villains were mad before, they’re going to be even madder in a little while.

Ric Flair/Razor Ramon vs. Mr. Perfect/Randy Savage

Heenan is of course incredible here with his rants about what is coming to Perfect. Ramon and Perfect get things going with Ramon hitting a running shoulder. That doesn’t work for Perfect, who is back with a slap but Perfect bails from the threat of a double team. Flair comes in and is quickly taken down by Perfect, who chops away in the corner. There’s the Flair Flip to the apron, where Savage knocks him to the floor for a bonus.

It’s off to Savage for a top rope ax handle to the ribs, leaving a Flair fan (in robe) losing it in the crowd. Savage slugs away on Flair and the interfering Ramon, setting up that signature running clothesline on Flair. A cheap shot slows Savage down though and it’s Ramon coming in to slug away. Ramon can’t get anywhere with Savage’s leg so he goes with the choking instead.

Flair slugs away in the corner and it’s right back to Ramon for the abdominal stretch. With that broken up, Flair tosses Savage over the top for a crash, setting up the running knee. Ramon grabs a kind of weak half crab….and Perfect is walking up the aisle. He sees Savage bleeding on the screen though and that’s enough to draw him back, much to Heenan’s annoyance.

With order restored, Flair gets two off a chop but Savage manages a desperation backslide for the same. Ramon comes right back in and grabs a chokeslam for two more on Savage. There’s a clothesline to put him down again but for some reason Flair goes up, earning a slam off the bottom rope for an extra big crash. The double tag (diving on Savage’s end) brings in Perfect to face Ramon as everything breaks down.

Flair chairs Savage in the head with a chair on the floor and Perfect is whipped into the referee. Another referee comes out as Perfect flips out of a Razor’s Edge and grabs the PerfectPlex. The new referee counts two as Flair makes the save so it’s PerfectPlex to him as well. The first referee counts two with Ramon making a save, meaning the villains are finally DQ’d at 16:30.

Rating: B-. It was one of the featured matches on the show but it was only so interesting. The biggest problem here is that the heat on Savage was rather long and then the ending felt like it was designed to set something else down the line. Flair and Perfect would keep going but Savage and Ramon were pretty much done, making this a preview for something that didn’t happen.

Post match the beatdown is on until Savage makes the save with a chair. Perfect gets the chair and clean house (Heenan: “SOMEBODY GET DOWN THERE AND STOP HIM!”). The announcement of the DQ gives us a classic THAT’S NOT FAIR TO FLAIR! Respect is shown.

Flair and Ramon swear vengeance.

Yokozuna vs. Virgil

Yokozuna does his sumo stomps in the corner and knocks Virgil down without much trouble. Some dropkicks work for Virgil but he tries an O’Connor roll to limited avail. A superkick cuts Virgil down and Yokozuna slowly pounds away. Virgil’s comeback attempt is cut off by a side slam and the big legdrop makes it worse. The splash in the corner sets up the Banzai Drop to finish Virgil at 3:44.

Rating: C. Pretty much a total squash here and that’s all it needed to be. This version of Yokozuna was rather mobile and someone who felt like different kind of monster. It makes sense to put him out here to wreck a loser like Virgil and he looked rather dominant. Good stuff here, and the push is clearly coming.

Mr. Perfect has turkeys for Ric Flair and Razor Ramon. Bobby Heenan gets a little chicken.

Natural Disasters/Nasty Boys vs. Money Inc./Beverly Brothers

The villains have the Genius/Jimmy Hart in their corner and if one person is eliminated, their partner is as well. Typhoon backs Blake into the corner and then shoves him into the corner without much effort. An over the shoulder backbreaker has Blake in more trouble and Earthquake comes in for a bearhug. A powerslam puts Blake down again and Knobbs runs him over to make it worse.

It’s off to Sags, who finally gets caught in the wrong corner so Beau can come in for a change. Sags hits a pumphandle slam (Vince: “What a wrestling maneuver!”) but Beau grabs a butterfly suplex. DiBiase comes in for a change but gets suplexed down in a hurry. IRS comes in and elbows Sags down so Beau can drop an elbow for two. The chinlock goes on but Sags fights up for a double knockdown. The tag brings Earthquake back in to wreck everything, setting up the Earthquake to Beau for the elimination at 9:26.

Earthquake runs DiBiase over and it’s Typhoon coming in for a headbutt. A missed charge actually lets Money Inc. manage a double belly to back suplex, followed by a wishbone snap. The chinlock goes on for a bit, followed by DiBiase’s middle rope ax handle. DiBiase’s middle rope dive into a raised boot lands on a raised boot and it’s back to Typhoon to clean house. The big splash hits IRS but DiBiase makes the save, allowing IRS to drop an elbow for the pin at 15:55. Then Sags rolls IRS up for the pin at 16:03.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t exactly good but rather long with almost nothing worth seeing. There was a story o Hart losing Money Inc. and the Disasters as teams while the Nasty Boys wanted the Tag Team Titles but that wasn’t exactly thrilling here. This felt like lip service to having the Survivor Series concept and if that’s the best they’ve got, they might as well have just skipped it this year (which they seemed to want to do).

Randy Savage, Mr. Perfect and Tatanka are on the Superstar Line.

Heenan rants about Perfect again.

We recap Kamala beating up Undertaker at Summerslam, only to have Undertaker do the situp and scare him away. Undertaker wanted revenge and Kamala was terrified of a casket, so he built a really big casket. It was a simpler time.

Undertaker vs. Kamala

Coffin match (win by pin/submission, loser goes into the casket) with Paul Bearer, Kim Chee and Harvey Wippleman here as well. Undertaker chases him to the floor to start but Kamala chops away back inside. That’s fine with Undertaker, who strikes right back and hits Old School. Well not that old at this point.

Some shots to the face stagger Undertaker though and Kamala sends him outside for a ram into the steps. A chair to the back staggers Undertaker again but some chops don’t do much back inside. Three slams in a row set up a series of splashes but lets bring the Urn in. Kamala freaks out so Undertaker gets up and hits him in the head with it for the win at 5:28.

Rating: C-. Another not so great match as Kamala just wasn’t that interesting in the ring. It also doesn’t help that there was almost no way to imagine Kamala beating Undertaker, who was a major star and far out of Kamala’s league. The match was a way to wrap things up for Undertaker, who needed a new monster to slay. Much like the previous match, this was a way to get something (or someone) on the show and that didn’t make it interesting.

Post match Kamala nails the coffin shut and wheels it out.

Intercontinental Champion Shawn Michaels says he beat the British Bulldog for the title and since the Bulldog beat Bret Hart for the title, Michaels can beat Bret tonight.

Bret Hart says he’s ready to beat Shawn and add him to a list of recently defeated challengers (Berzerker! Rick Martel! VIRGIL!). We hear about how Bret rose through the ranks to get here and he isn’t ready to lose just yet, even to a great wrestler like Shawn.

WWF Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Bret Hart

Only Bret is defending. After the handing off of the sunglasses to a kid, Bret takes Shawn into the corner. They go to the mat with Bret easily taking control and sending Shawn bailing to the rope. Back up and Bret takes over on the arm, including some armbarring. We’ll make that some hammerlocking with some knees to the arm but Shawn is back up with a hammerlock of his own.

That’s reversed with a toss out to the floor, followed by another armbar back inside. Shawn slugs his way out of trouble, only to get clotheslined down for two. The armbar goes on again but Shawn drops him across the top to get a breather. Shawn sends him shoulder first into the post and hits a DDT onto the arm. We hit the chinlock for a good while, setting up a backbreaker into another chinlock.

Bret fights up and gets a neckbreaker but Shawn takes him right back down. Now it’s a front facelock to keep Bret down, though this time he’s back up with some shoulders in the corner. The bulldog out of the corner sets up the missed middle rope elbow and we’re back to the front facelock. Bret is up again and manages a belly to back suplex before sending him head first into the post.

There’s the backdrop (you know Bret can call that one) into the Russian legsweep for two, followed by the middle rope elbow for the same. A high impact superplex gives Bret a rather delayed near fall and they’re getting tired. The referee gets crushed in the corner…but is right back up. Shawn sends Bret outside and manages a posting, followed by his own backdrop for his own two back inside.

The superkick (not yet the finisher, or even named) doesn’t even warrant a cover so the teardrop suplex (almost an Angle Slam) gives Shawn two. Bret gets in a shot though and gets Shawn tied up in the ropes, only to miss a charge and crash hard. Shawn goes up but dives right into the Sharpshooter to retain Bret’s title at 26:39.

Rating: B. I’ve seen this match a few times now and while it is good, it really needed to be about eight minutes shorter. There is a lot of time spent just sitting there in either the armbar or the chinlock, which can get rather tedious. It got better near the end and Bret is a beatable enough champion to make this work, but it went longer than it needed to and that brought things down a bit.

And then Santa Claus comes out to celebrate with Bret to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The two big matches are good enough and they get more time than almost anything else on the show, but the biggest problem here is nothing really feels major. Bret vs. Shawn feels more like a really enhanced midcard match while the big tag match is….I’m not sure what it is but it didn’t feel important enough to be the featured match. It’s clear that the WWF is in a transitional period here and it’s really not clicking yet. Not an awful show, but nothing you need to see save for maybe some historical curiosity.

 

Ratings Comparison

Headshrinkers vs. High Energy

Original: C+

2012 Redo: C+

2023 Redo: C+

Big Boss Man vs. Nailz

Original: D+

2012 Redo: D

2023 Redo: D+

Tatanka vs. Rick Martel

Original: C-

2012 Redo: D

2023 Redo: D+

Randy Savage/Mr. Perfect vs. Razor Ramon/Ric Flair

Original: B

2012 Redo: B-

2023 Redo: B-

Yokozuna vs. Virgil

Original: C
2012 Redo: C-

2023 Redo: C

Nasty Boys/Natural Disasters vs. Money Inc./Beverly Brothers

Original: D

2012 Redo: C

2023 Redo: C-

Undertaker vs. Kamala

Original: C+

2012 Redo: F

2023 Redo: C-

Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels:

Original: A-

2012 Redo: A

2023 Redo: B

Overall Rating:

Original: C+

2012 Redo: B-

2023 Redo: C

Yeah Bret vs. Shawn just isn’t that great.

Survivor Series 1990
Date: November 22, 1990
Location: Hartford Civic Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Attendance: 16,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Roddy Piper

I haven’t looked at this one in a long time so we might as well do it here. This is a big one from a historical stance, with an all time debut and something that is much more infamous than anything else. Other than that, we have the usual Survivor Series matches, plus an idea that they never used again. Let’s get to it.

We get the rather cool squares intros, showing all of the matches tonight, including the team names, which always add a nice flavor to the whole thing.

So the other deal here is that we have the Grand Finale Match of Survival, where the winners will face off again in a final Survivor Series match. Yeah I don’t get the point either.

The Ultimate Warriors promise to win. Well in theory that’s what Warrior says, as he rambles on about sacrifice and forming a bond with no medicine being able to cure what they have. I think.

Ultimate Warriors vs. Perfect Team

Ultimate Warriors: Ultimate Warrior, Texas Tornado, Legion Of Doom
Perfect Team: Mr. Perfect, Demolition

Mr. Fuji and Bobby Heenan are here with the villains. They take their sweet time settling down until Animal tackles Smash to start fast. A shot to the ribs slows Animal down and it’s Perfect coming in to stay on said ribs. Animal powerslams his way out of trouble and gets in an atomic drop, allowing the double tag to Von Erich and Ax (whose hair isn’t slicked back and who pretty clearly doesn’t want to be anywhere near this show). The Claw has Ax in trouble and it’s off to Warrior for the shoulder and splash for the elimination at 3:24. That’s the last you would see of Ax in the WWF ever again, and he can’t get out of the ring fast enough.

Crush comes in to clothesline Warrior but it’s off to Hawk to choke Perfect. One heck of a missed charge hits the post though and Demolition gets to hammer on Hawk. That doesn’t last long as Hawk is back up with a top rope clothesline and everything breaks down. The referee isn’t playing with this one and disqualifies the Legion of Doom and Demolition at 7:45, leaving us with Perfect vs. Warrior/Tornado. Piper: “I’M WRITING IT DOWN!”

Warrior comes in but Perfect wants Tornado, who comes in and knocks Perfect over the top. Perfect needs a breather on the floor so Warrior sends him into Heenan. Back in and Perfect avoids a charge into the post before going to the eyes to really keep Tornado in trouble. A ram into an exposed buckle into the PerfectPlex finishes Tornado at 11:05 and we’re one on one.

Warrior comes in and gets PerfectPlexed for two, but because it’s a finisher, he’s down for a bit. A clothesline gets two, with Warrior’s kickout sending Perfect onto the referee. That doesn’t have an impact this time as Warrior fights up and starts the clothesline comeback. The shoulder and splash finish Perfect for the win at 14:21.

Rating: D+. This was just lame in every sense of the word, as they never bothered to put in any effort, the double DQ was just lazy, and the ending was never in doubt as the villains were fighting from behind for most of the match. It was clear that Warrior had nothing to do at the moment and Perfect wasn’t a serious challenger. Pretty awful match here and still one of the worst in the show’s history.

The Million Dollar Team is ready to win, even with their absent mystery partner.

Dream Team vs. Million Dollar Team

Dream Team: Dusty Rhodes, Hart Foundation, Koko B. Ware
Million Dollar Team: Ted DiBiase, Rhythm And Blues, ???

So this is a famous one as DiBiase (Virgil) brings out the mystery partner, complete with his own manager Brother Love, the Undertaker. And this is immediately a hit, with Piper getting in the famous line of “LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT HAMHOCK!” This is one of those cases where everyone collectively went “….whoa” as you don’t see something like this very often and the people knew it.

Hart and Undertaker start things off and the proto chokeslam takes Hart down. Neidhart comes in and is immediately slammed so it’s off to Ware, who is piledriven (Monsoon: “He just got hit with the Tombstone!”) for the elimination at 1:45, instantly making Undertaker look like an absolute monster. Hart comes in and hammers away, so Undertaker glares at him and tags out in an almost eerie moment. The good guys start taking over on Valentine’s arm but he gets a knee up in the corner to cut Hart off. Honky Tonk Man comes in and is promptly powerslammed to give Neidhart the elimination at 4:24.

It’s off to DiBiase to hammer on Neidhart (makes sense on an Anvil), who fights up for the tag to the (non polka-dotted) Dusty. Elbows and a dropkick have DiBiase in trouble so it’s back to Neidhart, who gets tripped by Virgil. That’s enough for DiBiase to hit a clothesline for the elimination at 5:57, because people get pinned by clotheslines at the Survivor Series.

Hart comes back in and stomps away in the corner before Rhodes comes in and gets dropped with a shot to the face. It’s back to Undertaker, who chokes Hart in the corner but hands it back to DiBiase, who gets atomic dropped. Rhodes comes back in and gets dropped again, with Undertaker hitting a top rope ax handle to pin Rhodes at 8:33. Undertaker throws Rhodes over the top so Love can stomp away. That earns him a stalking to the back, with Undertaker following and getting counted out at 9:26, as they had to do something to avoid him getting pinned in his debut.

So it’s Hart vs. Valentine/DiBiase, but Hart small packages Valentine for the pin at 10:02 to get us down to one on one. Hart wastes no time in knocking DiBiase outside for a slingshot dive and a posting. Back in and Hart hammers away in the corner but DiBiase is back up with some chops. Hart seems to hurt his leg running the ropes, but it’s the not yet standard goldbricking so he can roll DiBiase up for two. Hart gets two off the middle rope elbow and tries a crossbody, with DiBiase rolling through for the final pin at 14:02.

Rating: B. This was a tale of two star making performances as Hart (who was dedicating the match to his brother, who had passed away the day before) had another one of those showings that made you know he was going to be something special. That being said, there’s a reason the Undertaker’s debut is one of the best ever, as sweet goodness he looked like an absolute star and you knew it was something special. Granted I don’t think anyone could have guessed how special, but it’s still effective over thirty five years later, so they’re definitely onto something.

Hart yelling F*** into the camera after the fall is oddly missing here.

The Vipers are in the shower and ready for a bunch of individual battles in their team match.

Vipers vs. Visionaries

Vipers: Jake Roberts, Rockers, Jimmy Snuka
Visionaries: Rick Martel, Power and Glory, Warlord

This is built around Martel blinding Roberts with his arrogance cologne. Snuka is looking horrible here, with a huge afro and a not so great looking face. Jannetty and the Warlord start things off, meaning Piper can make I Am The Walrus jokes. Warlord misses a charge into the corner to start but is fine enough to shrug off some dropkicks. Jannetty picks up thee pace with some right hands and Shawn clotheslines Warlord into a sunset flip.

Martel comes in and gets hiptossed into a dropkick with Martel bailing out to the floor. Roberts grabs a wristlock on Roma and it’s quickly off to Hercules vs. Snuka. The rapid fire tags bring Jannetty back in to hammer on Warlord, who powerslams him out of the air (that looked great) for the pin at 5:19.

Michaels comes in with a hurricanrana before it’s back to Roberts for a clothesline to put Warlord down. One heck of a backdrop sends Michaels flying and Hercules drops him with a clothesline. A hard whip into the corner gets two on Michaels but he avoids a charge into the post. Snuka comes in to unload in the corner before firing off a middle rope crossbody, but Martel rolls through and grabs tights for the pin at 9:46.

Roberts comes in to go after Martel, who hands it off to Hercules, much to Roberts’ annoyance. The threat of a DDT sends Hercules bailing out to the floor and a cheap shot (as Roberts can barely see) takes Roberts down. Roma misses a top rope fist drop though and it’s back to Michaels (who was injured by Power & Glory). A middle rope elbow gets two on Roma but Hercules comes in off a blind tag to deck him from behind. Hercules drops him with a gorilla press and the PowerPlex makes it 4-1 at 15:17.

Warlord wastes no time with a bearhug but Roberts gets out. Since 4-1 isn’t enough, Roma offers a distraction so the referee doesn’t see the DDT….or Martel spraying Roberts with Arrogance. That’s enough for Roberts, so he grabs Damien and chases Martel (not legal, so not eliminated) to the back for the countout to wrap it up at 17:04.

Rating: C-. While not as bad as the opener, this was another boring match with pretty much nothing going on. Martel and company weren’t a good team but they were running through the Vipers like they weren’t even there. Michaels was his usual good self, but Snuka looked ancient, Jannetty wasn’t there long enough, and Roberts hit his one move. Another bad match as this show is remembered for one good thing for a reason.

The Hulkamaniacs have been surviving for a long time and now it’s time to do it again here. They also dedicate the match to the armed forces and are ready to go fight Saddam Hussein.

Hulkamaniacs vs. Natural Disasters

Hulkamaniacs: Hulk Hogan, Tugboat, Jim Duggan, Big Boss Man
Natural Disasters: Earthquake, Dino Bravo, Haku, Barbarian

Jimmy Hart and Bobby Heenan are here with the villains as commentary tries to figure out the lineup for the Grand Finale match. How do you know that Rick Martel is going to be a heel? Maybe he’s a Little Warrior. Big pop for Hogan too, as there was something left to this Hulkamania thing. Piper: “What are they chanting?” Gorilla: “Hogan!” Piper: “That might have been the dumbest question I’ve asked in 1990.”

Duggan and Haku slug it out to start until Haku misses a middle rope crossbody (oh geez he can fly too). Duggan’s elbow misses as well so it’s off to Bravo for an atomic drop. Boss Man comes in to slug away on Haku, who hits a dropkick to cut him off. That earns him the Boss Man Slam and Haku is out at 3:15. Boss Man kicks Barbarian in the face but goes after Heenan, allowing Barbarian to come back with a belly to back suplex. Duggan comes in but gets powered into the corner by Earthquake, who isn’t about to be slammed. Instead Duggan grabs the 2×4 to chase Hart but stops to hit Earthquake for the DQ at 6:12.

Hogan comes in to slam all three villains and hammers away at Earthquake in the corner. That’s broken up and Earthquake plants him down, allowing Bravo to drop an elbow. Hogan goes technical though and small packages Bravo for the pin at 8:00 as the villains are playing from behind again. Boss Man comes in to slug away at Earthquake….who catches a high crossbody in mid air. Sweet goodness that’s insane. Hogan breaks it up but Barbarian gets in a cheap shot from the apron. Some elbow drops get rid of Boss Man at 9:10 to get us down to 2-2, with even commentary forgetting that Tugboat was there.

Hogan hammers on Earthquake but can’t slam him this time. He can bring in Tugboat though and the brawl with Earthquake goes to the floor for the double countout at 11:34, making it Hogan vs. Barbarian. The slow beating is on and a not great piledriver gives Barbarian two. A double clothesline leaves both of them down and it’s Barbarian up first with his big clothesline. Hogan fights up and the big boot into the legdrop finishes at 14:50.

Rating: C. And that’s the second best match of the night. This was Hogan and his friends doing Hogan’s greatest hits against a pretty generic group of villains. You could see that the magic was wearing off with Hogan as he didn’t have a top opponent (after beating Earthquake at Summerslam) and the match was only so exciting. Beating Earthquake by countout on back to back pay per views didn’t help either.

Hogan beats up Heenan for fun.

Here is Randy Savage to be annoyed at being accused of….eating Thanksgiving dinner? Either way, he’s after the Ultimate Warrior and the WWF Title, because it is being held by the Ultimate Chicken. Queen Sherri did NOT do his fighting for him when he slapped the Warrior because he is the greatest Superstar of all time.

Alliance vs. Mercenaries

Alliance: Nikolai Volkoff, Tito Santana, Bushwhackers
Mercenaries: Sgt. Slaughter, Boris Zhukov, Orient Express

Before the match, Slaughter mocks the American troops in the Middle East for not having a good Thanksgiving dinner. Piper is TICKED over this, to the point where I’m surprised he and Slaughter never had a title match. Butch hammers on Zhukov to start and it’s off to Santana for the flying forearm and the pin at 50 seconds. As the heels are behind AGAIN. The Battering Ram gets rid of Sato at 1:51 as they’re making it pretty clear that this match doesn’t need to be a Survivor Series match because a bunch of people are going to be gone fast.

Tanaka kicks Butch down and misses a headbutt, meaning it’s another forearm to make it 4-1 at 2:11. Volkoff comes in to hammer away in the corner but gets dropped with a clothesline. Some elbow drops begin the slow beatdown, capped off with another elbow for the pin at 5:26. The Bushwhackers are in with a double clothesline but Luke’s top rope splash hits knees. A gutbuster gives Slaughter the pin at 6:32 and Butch is out to a clothesline at 6:55.

So it’s Santana vs. Slaughter with Santana coming in off the top with a forearm to take over. Slaughter is right back with a neckbreaker and a backbreaker gets two. A suplex gives Slaughter a delayed two but the referee gets bumped. Santana hits the forearm but General Adnan comes in with the flag shot for the DQ to end this at 10:35.

Rating: D+. This show is terrible and there isn’t much of a way to hide it. It was clear that this needed to be Santana vs. Slaughter, as the match would have been better and let us skip six eliminations in about seven minutes. At the same time, Slaughter wasn’t feeling like a top heel here and there wasn’t much of a way around it.

Ted DiBiase and the Visionaries are ready for Hulk Hogan, Ultimate Warrior and Tito Santana, because Warrior and Hogan had issues just a few months ago at Wrestlemania.

And now, it’s time for the egg to hatch. Yeah there has been a big egg for weeks and it finally hatches to reveal….a humanoid turkey thing which Gene Okerlund dubs the Gobbledy Gooker. He and Gene go to the ring to dance and the fans boo this out of the building, as it’s just a big waste of time that adds nothing. The idea was to make a fun mascot for kids but that could have been covered by someone like Jim Duggan in a costume. Also, when you’re expecting anything interesting and get…whatever this was. This is an all time disaster and it has become a running joke for almost forty years as a result.

Hulk Hogan, Ultimate Warrior and Tito Santana don’t think they’re behind because the Hulkamaniacs are in their corner.

Hulk Hogan/Tito Santana/Ultimate Warrior vs. Visionaries/Ted DiBiase

Santana forearms Warlord for the pin at 24 seconds. Roma powerslams Santana down and DiBiase comes in with a suplex for two. Santana misses the forearm and gets caught with a hot shot for the pin at 1:52. Hogan comes in to hammer on DiBiase but Hercules comes in to get a few shots of his own. The villains keep taking turns hammering on Hogan as even Piper is telling him to get it together already. DiBiase gets two off a fist drop but the PowerPlex triggers the Hulk Up.

The clothesline finishes Roma at 5:39 so Martel comes in for the ineffective hammering. Hogan kicks him down and hands it off to Warrior who slams Martel a few times, allowing Hogan to clothesline Martel to the floor for a countout at 7:23. It’s down to DiBiase/Hercules, which would be a lot more interesting about two years ago. Hogan powers DiBiase into the corner, hits the boot and drops the leg to make it 2-1 at 8:38. The powerslam lets Warrior come back in for a shoulder and the splash to win it all at 9:09.

Rating: D. Good grief they actually made it less interesting. I didn’t think this could get worse as the rest of the show had bee but they pulled it off. I’m not sure what the point of this was other than to get Hogan and Warrior out there again, but it doesn’t really make much of a difference when we saw them both in the last few hours. Nothing to see here, with Hogan and Warrior running through some midcard villains in short order.

Overall Rating: D. There is one good match in almost two and half hours here and that match is mostly memorable for one debut and nothing more. Other than that, it was a good illustration of how things needed to change. The 80s were over and Warrior wasn’t working on top, but Hogan’s act was fairly tired and not the long term solution.

That being said, the biggest problem is the lack of major villains. Warrior had Mr. Perfect, Hogan had already had his big match with Earthquake, and other than that you had Savage on the way up, but that’s not enough to fight two superpowers. Slaughter was getting a reaction but it absolutely did not have any kind of long term shelf life. Undertaker looked good, but it was his first night and he needed time to be turned into something big.

The whole thing didn’t work and it just kept getting worse. The Gooker stuff was the big, horrible icing on the whole thing as this was a bad show, with Undertaker and Bret Hart not being enough to come close to saving it. This show was pretty bad and the company was in need of a big overhaul, which would take a lot of time.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.