Royal Rumble 1994
Date: January 22, 1994
Location: Providence Civic Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Attendance: 14,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Ted DiBiase

We’re in the New Generation and that means we could be in for something interesting. In theory it means we’ll be seeing some rather good in-ring action, though the star power is hit and miss at best. In addition to the Royal Rumble itself, we also have the Undertaker challenging Yokozuna for the WWF Title in a casket match. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is your usual look at some of the bigger names, with the videos seemingly being displayed on the side of buildings. Kind of an odd odd.

Ted DiBiase is brought out as the other half of the commentary team, which seems to surprise McMahon. Well dude you hired him.

Tatanka vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Bigelow, with Luna Vachon, is replacing an injured Ludvig Borga (he would never wrestle for the WWF again). Tatanka strikes away to start and takes Bigelow down with an armbar. That’s broken up and Tatanka misses a high crossbody so he tries a top rope sunset flip. That doesn’t go well either as Bigelow sits on his chest for two, followed by a bearhug. Tatanka fights out and hits a quick powerslam but they both try crossbodies to leave them both down. Back up and Tatanka hits the war path but misses a charge and goes down. The moonsault misses for Bigelow though and a high crossbody gives Tatanka the pin at 8:21.

Rating: C. Perfectly decent opener here as the match was designed to be about Tatanka trying to get revenge on Borga but they didn’t have a better choice. This worked as well as it could have, with Tatanka still being a completely serviceable midcard star. It wasn’t great, but it was acceptable enough for their situation.

We recap the Hart Brothers challenging the Quebecers for the Tag Team Titles. Owen is feeling forgotten by Bret, mainly after being eliminated from their match at the Survivor Series. Owen said he was tired of living in Bret’s shadow and wanted a match between the two of them. Bret refused but had a better idea: they win the Tag Team Titles. This worked for Owen (even though he said he was going to take off with Bret right behind him) and we’re ready to go.

We look at the Quebecers losing and regaining the Tag Team Titles in a series with Marty Jannetty and the 1-2-3 Kid.

Bret (standing in front of Owen) are ready to face any challengers.

IMG Credit: WWE

Tag Team Titles: Bret Hart/Owen Hart vs. Quebecers

The Quebecers, with Johnny Polo, are defending. Bret and Pierre start things off with Bret taking over and working on a wristlock. Owen comes in for his spinning wristlock escape and it’s off to Jacques, who offers a handshake. A suplex puts Jacques down and he bails over to the corner for a hug from Pierre. And a mini version from Polo, who doesn’t want to feel left out. An enziguri puts Jacques down and something like a Demolition Decapitator gets two. Pierre comes in to take over on Owen in the corner but Owen dives over Bret for a rollup and near fall.

The champs bail out to the floor (likely for more hugging) before Pierre comes in and gets clotheslined. It’s back to Bret, who gets caught in a powerslam to let the Quebecers take over. Bret gets choked on the ropes and some running knees to the back give Jacques two. Pierre dives into a raised boot though and it’s Owen coming in to clean house. Everything breaks down and Owen grabs a quick Sharpshooter, which is broken up with a bulldog.

A hot shot rocks Owens again but he’s back with a double running dropkick. The tag brings in Bret and Pierre is sent outside, though Polo low bridges Bret to the floor. Bret comes up clutching his knee and that’s never a good sign. Naturally the champions are smart enough to start in on the knee, including a chair shot from Jacques.

More shots to the knee keep Bret down and Owen sends Pierre into the steps, which doesn’t really do much good. Back in and a middle rope legdrop to the back of the head gets two and Pierre goes after the leg again. The Cannonball misses….but Bret won’t tag, instead trying the Sharpshooter on Pierre. The knee gives out though and the referee says Bret can’t continue at 16:47.

Rating: B-. I remember seeing this match when I was a kid and thinking Bret was completely wrong, which is still the case here. There was zero reason for Bret to not tag out and let Owen come in other than he didn’t think Owen was good enough. It was just a straight up heel move and Owen was totally justified, especially after everything else he had done. The match was all about telling the story of Bret going too far, though he and Owen did work very well together.

Post match Owen screams at Bret and kicks his leg out (amen). With a bunch of agents out there helping Bret, Ray Rougeau comes out to check on Bret’s status, even wanting to talk to Bret himself. Dude he’s getting help from Pat Patterson and Rene Goulet. He’s already in enough trouble.

Anyway Bret is carried out on a stretcher with Owen popping up on screen to rant about Bret being selfish (yep). They even stop the stretcher in front of the screen so Bret can watch (GEEZ PEOPLE) as Owen says he kicked the leg out from his….leg. Yeah Owen screwed the line up, but this was a heck of a heel turn, even though he was pretty much totally justified.

Ted DiBiase applauds Owen for what he did. Owen as part of the Million Dollar Corporation could have worked well.

Jim Ross and Gorilla Monsoon, of Radio WWF, step in for the next match. And yes, Radio WWF is exactly what it sounds like and no it didn’t work.

IMG Credit: WWE

Intercontinental Title: IRS vs. Razor Ramon

Ramon is defending and IRS accuses everyone here of being a tax cheat. Ramon slugs him down to start and even more right hands send IRS outside for a breather. Back in and an atomic drop into a clothesline drops IRS again, only to have him send Ramon outside. A posting has Ramon down again so IRS goes up top. The boot is raised but IRS sees it coming like a bad sweat attack and drops an elbow instead.

The chinlock doesn’t last long so it’s a legdrop into…well another chinlock. Ramon fights up and punches away, setting up a fall away slam. The referee gets bumped in the corner though but the briefcase is taken away. A shot to the face drops IRS but there’s no referee. The Razor’s Edge is loaded up but Shawn Michaels runs in with the other Intercontinental Title to knock Ramon silly. That’s enough to give IRS the pin and the title…but another referee comes out to say what happened. Ramon grabs a Razor’s Edge for the pin at 11:45.

Rating: C-. Yeah you know what you’re getting here, as IRS is technically sound but he’s just not that much to watch in the ring. His stuff is so dry and it can make a rough sit, though he’s kind of perfect for the spot. Ramon got a nice title defense and that’s all it needed to be. Fine enough use of Ramon, but not a very good match, even with the false finish.

We recap Undertaker vs. Yokozuna for the latter’s WWF Title. Undertaker wants the title and has built an extra large casket, naturally with Yokozuna being terrified of a casket. Well yeah, a lot of people are. We get various scenes of the casket being built and then taken away in a cart (though Undertaker standing there after it is taken away is a cool visual). They also did the “Yokozuna opens the casket and Undertaker is inside” deal, which scared him all over again. This went on for a good while and it got almost silly instead of a serious title match.

IMG Credit: WWE

WWF Title: Undertaker vs. Yokozuna

Yokozuna (with Jim Cornette and. Mr. Fuji) is defending in a casket match and Paul Bearer is here with Undertaker. The uppercuts have Yokozuna in trouble to start and a running shot knocks him out to the floor. Back in and Old School connects but Undertaker misses the big jumping clothesline. Undertaker knocks him outside and they trade chair shots to the head with Yokozuna getting the better of things.

Back in and a headbutt knocks Undertaker silly but it’s too early to put him in the casket. Undertaker fights up and hits a kind of choke shove (no elevation due to gravity), followed by the running DDT. It’s time to put Yokozuna in the casket but cue Crush to go after Undertaker, who takes him down anyway. Now it’s Kabuki and Tenryu to slow Undertaker down, with Bam Bam Bigelow coming in as well.

Fuji steals the urn from Bearer, who kicks Fuji in the ribs and steals the urn back, allowing him to bash the other managers. The power of the urn brings Undertaker back so here is Jeff Jarrett to help the villains. Adam Bomb comes in as well and here are the Headshrinkers to finally put Undertaker down.

The casket is opened and he’s put inside but fights out AGAIN (the place is losing it for the comeback and…well yeah understandably so). Diesel comes in as well as Yokozuna steals the urn and actually opens it, revealing a bunch of green smoke. The beatdown is on again and everyone unloads on him with all kinds of stuff to FINALLY get him in the casket to retain the title at 14:22.

Rating: C. I’m really not sure what to think of this as it sound up being 10 (12 counting the managers) on 2 at the end (ok 2.5 if you count Bearer) and the comebacks had the people going nuts. That being said, the match itself was pretty slow and sluggish, with the regular action being little more than a setup for the big stuff at the end. Either way, it’s certainly memorable and that’s what matters the most.

Post match the casket is wheeled out and the gong sounds. We go to Casket Cam, with undertaker looking up and saying that you will soon see his rebirth and he will never rest in peace. Then his body raises up through the top of the video screen (just go with it, and no it wasn’t Marty Jannetty) and disappears. This is interesting, as when I was a kid, I couldn’t actually see the body, so I thought Undertaker just disappeared. Seeing it on a better TV, you can still only kind of see the silhouette (ignore where the hat came from), but at least it makes some more sense.

It’s time for the rapid fire “I’m going to win the Royal Rumble” comments from Randy Savage, Jeff Jarrett, Tatanka, Diesel, Doink, Shawn Michaels and Lex Luger.

IMG Credit: WWE

Royal Rumble

90 second intervals with Scott Steiner in at #1 and Samu in at #2. Shockingly enough, they hit each other rather hard with Samu getting the better of things until Rick Steiner is in at #3. DiBiase wants to see the Steiners fight but they need a voice of reason to say “yeah, or the Steiners could then beat up everyone else and fight at the end”. A belly to belly and Steiner Line have Samu in trouble and he misses a charge to get his head caught in the ropes.

Samu is knocked out and it’s Kwang in at #4, meaning it’s some green mist to Rick. Kwang beats on both of them and it’s Owen Hart in at #5. The villains pair off and Owen actually gets rid of Rick. Bart Gunn is in at #6 and they pair off again as we’re told that something has happened backstage. Well I would hope that they’re not just all standing there like statues. Kwang hits a good superkick on Bart and it’s Diesel in at #7 to toss everyone with ease. The ring is cleared out and it’s Bob Backlund in at #8.

Backlund is smart enough to stay low to the mat and go for the legs, to the point where he almost gets Diesel over. Diesel fights that off and throws him out, before Billy Gunn is in at #9. And there goes Billy, as we go to the back where Tenryu and Kabuki have jumped Lex Luger. Virgil is in at #10 (DiBiase: “WHERE DID HE COME FROM? Ok I’m going to enjoy this McMahon.”) as an alternate for Kamala and tries some jabs, only to get hit in the face and dumped out.

Randy Savage is in at #11 to give Diesel some real competition as he hammers away to start. The shots to the face and some choking in the corner even have DiBiase impressed. Diesel gets knocked down in the corner and it’s Jeff Jarrett in at #12. Jarrett knocks Savage down and throws him over, only for Savage to skin the cat. Savage tosses Jarrett and it’s Crush (whom Savage absolutely hates) in at #13.

Savage is of course all over him with right hands and ax handles but Savage switches to Diesel, allowing Crush to get in a shot from behind. Doink The Clown is in at #14 as Savage is tossed out. Doink sprays water at Diesel and steps on their feet, which is about as long as the good lasts. Bam Bam Bigelow is in at #15 as Doink is out, leaving us with the three monsters to fight each other. Mabel is in at #16 (as Doink is being helped out) and it’s a four way monster fight as the clock seems to be getting shorter.

Sparky Plugg (replacing an injured 1-2-3 Kid) is in at #17 and everyone gets together on the ropes but no one is out. Shawn Michaels is in at #18 and has a staredown with Diesel (his bodyguard) but a bunch of people get together and toss Diesel (Michaels might have shoved but it’s not clear). Mo is in at #19 to help Mabel a bit and things slow down. It’s Greg Valentine (he has to be an alternate) in at #20, giving us Crush, Bigelow, Mabel, Plugg, Michaels, Mo and Valentine at the two thirds mark.

Bigelow and Mo (what a team) beat on Valentine and Mabel and Plugg team up (part of why I love the Rumble). Tatanka is in at #21 as the ring is getting too full. Great Kabuki is in at #22 and a bunch of people get together to toss Mabel. Lex Luger is in at #23 and throws his variety of punches before getting rid of Kabuki. Things slow back down and it’s Tenryu in at #24.

Tenryu chops away at Luger and kicks him in the face as….no one is here at #25. Commentary thinks it was supposed to be Bret Hart as the fairly listless brawling continues. Rick Martel is in at #26 as there are some rather fillery people in here. Luger and Tatanka slug it out until Michaels cuts Luger off. A very limping Bret Hart is in at #27, with commentary being stunned. He takes his time getting to the ring and knocks Crush down as Fatu is in at #28.

A bunch of people get together and throw Crush out as March Jannetty is in at #29 as we’re told the missing entrant was a sick Bastion Booger. Jannetty goes right at it with Michaels in quite the heated brawl but Tenryu breaks it up. Jannetty’s superkick staggers Michaels and he grabs a sleeper as Adam Bomb is in at #30. That gives us a final grouping of Bigelow, Plugg, Michaels, Mo, Valentine, Tatanka, Luger, Tenryu, Martel, Hart, Fatu, Jannetty and Bomb.

That’s FAR too many so Michaels gets rid of Plugg, leaving Hart to beat on Mo in one of those Only In The Royal Rumble pairings. Michaels starts in on Hart’s bad knee but gets kicked into the post for his efforts. Martel gets rid of Valentine (who might have slipped out, though it doesn’t really matter) and then gets tossed himself, with Bomb following him for another quick elimination. Mo and Tatanka are out too, followed by Bigelow and Jannetty as we get rid of some people in a hurry.

We’re down to Luger, Michaels, Tenryu, Fatu and Hart. Tenryu sends Fatu and Michaels head to head, with the expected result. Fatu and Michaels are whipped into each other so Tenryu goes after Luger, who tosses him as well. That leaves us with four so Michaels goes after Hart (it seems so appropriate) and Luger faceplants Fatu. Since NO ONE CAN EVER LEARN IN THESE THINGS, Fatu superkicks him down and hits a middle rope fist drop. Fatu and Michaels are tossed out, leaving Hart and Luger to slug it out. They both go over the top at the same time and that’s….apparently it at 55:04.

Rating: B-. This is a tricky Rumble, as there are certainly good parts, including Diesel’s monster run (which the company and fans both noticed), the ending and Hart’s performance in general, but there are also some dead spots that drag it down. While it isn’t quite an all time Rumble, it’s certainly a good enough one and that’s an acceptable result. It did a good job of selling the drama of not knowing who was winning and there were some interesting “every man for themselves” moment. Solid Rumble, though it could have been better with some tweaks.

Post match one referee says it was Luger and another says it was Bret. The replays show that they landed at pretty much the exact same time and it couldn’t have gone much better. Eventually Jack Tunney comes out to say they’re co winners, which set up the unofficial tournament at Wrestlemania X.

Respect is shown and we get some quick stills to wrap up the show.

Overall Rating: B-. The Rumble is such a unique show as one match eats up so much of the card. That was the case here and I liked the Rumble well enough. The problem is almost nothing else really stands out, save for maybe Owen Hart going completely nuts in his turn. Well that and Undertaker being….whatever he was supposed to be. It certainly has some memorable moments and the ending to the Rumble is a classic, so we’ll call it a good enough show with some weak parts.

Results
Tatanka b. Bam Bam Bigelow – High crossbody
Quebecers b. Bret Hart/Owen Hart via referee stoppage
Razor Ramon b. IRS – Razor’s Edge
Yokozuna b. Undertaker – Yokozuna put Undertaker in the casket
Lex Luger and Bret Hart co-won the Royal Rumble last eliminating each other

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: June 7, 1993
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage, Bobby Heenan

We’re on the way to the King Of The Ring, with the show taking place this coming Sunday. That should be more than enough of a focus, and now we get to see if Yokozuna is ready to face Hulk Hogan. Other than that, there is a good chance that we get a look at the tournament so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Russ Greenberg

Michaels, the brand new champion (having won the title at a house show last night), has a brand new unnamed bodyguard is defending here (in case there was any confusion). A hammerlock takes Greenberg down to start and Michaels gives him a slam. Michaels grabs a chinlock until Greenberg fights up, which is cut off just as fast. The middle rope elbow and piledriver finish for Michaels at 3:48.

Rating: C. This was exactly what you would have expected as Michaels smashed through a jobber shortly after winning the title. The good thing is that they kept it short enough to not be dull but let it go on long enough so Michaels could look good. That being said, Michaels using a piledriver still doesn’t feel right and that’s going to need to change.

It’s the King Of The Ring Report, which runs down the card, including the first round of the tournament. Also announced: Shawn Michaels vs. Crush is now an Intercontinental Title match.

Michaels, with the bodyguard, storms down to ringside where he is livid over having to defend the title.

Adam Bomb vs. El Matador

Johnny Polo is here with Bomb. Matador works on the arm to start and Bomb is already bailing over to the ropes. The quick breather seems to work as Bomb is back with a powerslam but Matador grabs another armbar. Bomb powers out again and kicks away before ramming Matador face first into the buckle. Matador fights back and the fans seem into it but Bomb cuts off an O’Connor roll attempt. A slingshot clothesline to the back of the head finishes for Bomb at 5:32.

Rating: C+. Better than I was expecting here though I’ve long since been a fan of both guys. Matador is someone who had been established as a good hand for a very long time and thankfully that continued after things changed from years as just Tito Santana. On the other hand you have Bomb, who always felt like he had potential but never got the chance to really do anything important.

Tatanka vs. Peter Weeks

They fight over arm control to start until a hiptoss puts Weeks on the floor. Back in and a big jumping elbow hits Weeks but he actually fights back with some forearms. Tatanka goes on the warpath for the quick comeback, with the top rope chop connecting for the pin at 3:15.

Rating: C. Another squash here, but not quite as entertaining as the Michaels version, though that might be due to the other one featuring Shawn Michaels. Tatanka was someone who basically give you just about everything he was going to be able to do in any given match. That’s not giving him much of a ceiling, though there were far worse options for a short outing.

Here is Jerry Lawler (in pink) for the King’s Court. He’s sick of being in the Rotten Apple and insults various people who live here. After a break (yes in an interview segment), Lawler says he’s not talking about the King Of The Ring tournament because the winner is nothing but an imitation of the real king. Instead he brings out Mr. Fuji and Yokozuna, who are ready for Hulk Hogan. Lawler insults Hogan and Fuji brags about Yokozuna’s weight. Even Yokozuna is ready to win.

Rick Steiner/Billy Gunn vs. Fatu/IRS

Their partners are all here too. Afa is here too…and he’s having a WWF ice cream bar. Those Samoans have all the luck. Afa isn’t sure what to make of the $50 that IRS hands him but gets distracted by the good guys taking over on Fatu. IRS comes in and gets caught in the wrong corner, allowing Rick and Billy to work on the arm. That’s broken up and IRS accidentally decks Fatu, with the big fight being teased as we take a break.

We come back with the villains having calmed down, mainly thanks to DiBiase paying them off (the Headshrinkers ate the money). Back in and IRS sends Rick crashing out to the floor, with DiBiase and Samu sending him into the steps. Fatu drops Rick with a clothesline but Rick Steiner Lines his way out of trouble. The tag brings in Billy as everything breaks down, with DiBiase offering a distraction. That’s enough for IRS to hit a clothesline to the back of the head for the pin at 11:35.

Rating: C-. What exactly were you expecting out of this? It’s a mixed up tag match to preview a King Of The Ring eight man tag which wound up being a heck of a lot shorter than this one. The match was rather long and nothing of note happened, which made for a pretty lengthy stretch of TV time.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

Here is Razor Ramon to offer the 1-2-3 Kid $7,500 for a rematch. As for King Of The Ring, he’s ready to make Bret Hart a Nutter Loser.

Overall Rating: D+. Well, King Of The Ring can’t get here fast enough, as a tournament show doesn’t exactly give you much to talk about on television. It doesn’t help that a bunch of big names are in the tournament and that leaves stuff like Hulk Hogan (not here), an eight man tag and Shawn Michaels vs. Crush. I’m going to need more to get hyped about than that and we didn’t see it happen here.

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Halloween Havoc 1998
Date: October 25, 1998
Location: MGM Grand Garden Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 10,663
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan

So this popped up on the WWE Vault channel and I might as well look at it again. This show is more infamous than famous, with an all time terrible match, a pretty great main event, and one massive headache for WCW as the show went off the air late, resulting in a bunch of people not even seeing the ending. Let’s get to it.

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The opening video is rather serious and looks at a bunch of the bigger matches. Of all the things WCW spent money on, this wasn’t one of them.

Dang that pumpkin set is awesome.

Commentary talks about the show, with Heenan throwing on a mask to annoy Schiavone as only he can.

The Nitro Girls are here for the first time and are promised to be back. I get the appeal of having cheerleaders out there, but are they doing anything more than filling time?

Here is Rick Steiner to talk about how he’s looking at Scott Steiner as just another opponent. Cue Buff Bagwell to say everyone is sick of Scott so he’ll have Rick’s back. And yes, Rick falls for this, showing that the University of Michigan isn’t much in the academic department. Also, this could have been done on any given Nitro or Thunder rather than being on the show.

TV Title: Raven vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho is defending in what appears to be a bonus match. Before the match, Raven sits in the corner and says his recent losing streak is NOT his fault. He doesn’t feel like wrestling tonight and he wasn’t told in advance so he’s not going to do it. Jericho says not so fast because he is buyrates, people in the seats and rock and roll. Calling Raven a loser is enough to draw him back in for the bell, with Jericho stomping away and swinging Raven’s jacket.

Back up and Raven sends him outside for a dive, meaning it’s time for a whip into the steps. A dropkick has Jericho in more trouble but Raven is back with a quick hot shot to take over. They go outside again with Jericho’s dive only hitting the barricade. Back in and Jericho suplexes his way out of a sleeper before taking off a turnbuckle pad. Naturally Jericho goes head first into it and a clothesline gives Raven two.

The Liontamer goes on but Raven makes the rope (rather than tapping out in a hurry as he has been doing lately) and hits a quick Even Flow for two. Jericho low blows him into a bridging German suplex but cue Kanyon for and attempted distraction. Instead Jericho reverses the Even Flow into another Liontamer for the tap at 7:42.

Rating: B. It’s nice to see Raven getting to have a good match as he could certainly go in the ring when he had the chance. It helped that he was in there with Jericho, who was really starting to come into his own around this time. You could see the star power and it made him someone you wanted to see, which is quite the valuable thing to have.

Jericho’s over the top celebration is great.

Here are Hollywood Hogan and Eric Bischoff for a chat. Hogan says he’ll keep it short and then goes into a long rant about laying out his nephew Horace, because he wanted to prove you needed to be in the NWO. As for tonight, he’ll beat up the Warrior, for life. There was absolutely no need or this to be on the show.

Meng vs. Wrath

Hoss fight time and they go straight to the floor to start with Meng being sent into the barricade. They get inside, where Meng rams his own head into the buckle over and over. Wrath hits a middle rope clothesline but the Meltdown (pumphandle powerslam) is escaped, allowing Meng to hit a kick to the face. Meng strikes away in the corner and hits a running clothesline but the Tongan Death Grip is countered into a Rock Bottom for two. The Meltdown finishes for Wrath at 4:23.

Rating: C+. Not much time for this one but they hit each other rather hard for few minutes that they had. It made Wrath look good too, which was a bit of a mini project at the time. They certainly needed to build someone up for Kevin Nash to beat later, because beating someone on a winning streak set him up to beat someone else on a winning streak. I mean, it’s not like WCW could have used someone like Wrath, who was getting over around this point with wins like this one.

Billy Kidman is down to face either challenger to his Cruiserweight Title.

Disco Inferno vs. Juventud Guerrera

For a Cruiserweight Title shot later tonight. Disco takes him into the corner to start and stomps away, setting up a side slam for two. Juventud snaps off a headscissors and, after messing something up, sends Disco crashing out to the floor. An anklescissors takes Disco down again but he’s right back with a running clothesline. The not very tight chinlock goes on before Juventud fights out and sends him to the floor for the big dive.

Back in and the Juvy Driver is countered into a neckbreaker for a very delayed near fall. The Macarena (yes it is 1998) takes too long and Juventud rolls him up for two, only for Disco to fall down into low blow. Disco goes up and gets crotched down, setting up a super hurricanrana. Juventud’s top rope flip dive connects but Disco is back with a quick piledriver for the pin at 9:40. Ignore Juventud’s shoulder being on Disco’s leg rather than the mat.

Rating: C. This is another good example of a match that could have taken place on Thunder instead of here as it was hardly anything pay per view worthy. Disco did his basic stuff until the piledriver while Juventud was flying around as well as he could have, albeit to limited results. And we even get more Disco later!

More Nitro Girls.

Here is Scott Steiner for a chat. He’s been with his freaks so coming to Vegas is a breather. Scott heard Rick Steiner and Buff Bagwell getting together, so tonight he and the Giant will make it a Tag Team Title match (ignore that Scott HALL and the Giant are the champions right now, hence neither of them having a belt at the moment, even if Giant should have one). Giant comes out to agree so here is JJ Dillon to say that if the champs lose the titles, Scott will face Rick one on one immediately after.

So that’s another bonus match being added. And we’re having a tag match instead of a singles match because the tag team knows they would win a tag match but if they don’t, then it’s the planned singles match, even if the non-champions have already lost the titles. Yes this is 1998 WCW and somehow, it would get far, far worse.

Fit Finlay vs. Alex Wright

We hear about Finlay breaking Wright’s dad’s leg years ago as Finlay takes over on the wrist to start. An elbow to the face has Wright in more trouble but he knocks Finlay down and stomps away. Back up and Finlay hits him in the face for a knock out to the floor. Wright gets dropped face first onto the barricade and they head back inside, where a running crossbody sends both of them crashing back to the floor. Back in again and Finlay misses a charge into the corner, allowing Wright to grab a neckbreaker for the pin at 5:10.

Rating: C. This was mostly Finlay beating Wright up for about 90% of the match until Wright caught him with one move at the end. The match was something that felt like it belonged on Saturday Night more than a pay per view yet here it is, adding another match to this marathon show. Commentary didn’t even pretend like this was anything important either, making it feel even less important.

Note that we’re over an hour into this show and pretty much NOTHING has happened. We’ve had one good match, which wasn’t advertised, a match to set up a title match later, and two pretty much nothing matches. Yeah there’s other stuff coming, but feel free to GET ON WITH IT.

Ernest Miller is on WCW.com and brags about his greatness.

Saturn vs. Lodi

This isn’t what I meant by “GET ON WITH IT”. Saturn works on the arm to start so Lodi bails outside and grabs his signs (they’re his thing), only for Saturn to sweep his leg out. A suplex drops Lodi again and a whip into the corner makes it worse. Saturn hits some suplexes and the Death Valley Driver completes the squash at 3:49.

Rating: C-. Saturn got to massacre Lodi, though I’m not sure why this match actually needed to take place on the pay per view. Saturn smashing the Flock’s mascot isn’t a pay per view match but rather something that should be in the second hour of Thunder. That’s the theme of this whole show so far and that isn’t good to see, even if I’ve always liked Saturn.

We look at Buff Bagwell rejecting the NWO. Totally. For real.

Nitro Girls.

Cruiserweight Title: Disco Inferno vs. Billy Kidman

Kidman is defending and grabs a headlock to start with limited avail. An exchange of wristlocks doesn’t go very far either so Kidman grabs a slingshot armdrag. Disco drop toeholds him throat first into the ropes but Kidman sens him outside for a crash. Back in and Kidman misses a top rope splash though and we hit the chinlock.

Disco lets go and dances, followed by a belly to back suplex for two. The dancing middle rope elbow misses but Disco is right back with the piledriver for two more. A gordbuster gets another near fall so Kidman calmly faceplants him. The shooting star press retains the title at 10:50.

Rating: C. Again, the problem is Disco doesn’t do anything beyond simple stuff and that didn’t leave Kidman in any real danger. Other than maybe the piledriver, this was just waiting around for Kidman to win. It doesn’t help that this was the second Disco match of the night, again making things feel rather extended for no apparent reason.

Tag Team Titles: Rick Steiner/Buff Bagwell vs. Scott Steiner/Buff Bagwell

Rick and Buff are challenging and if they win the titles, Rick gets to face Scott “for fifteen minutes”. Scott distracts Rick to start and Giant slugs away to take over. An atomic drop puts Rick in more trouble and it’s off to Scott for some shots from behind. Rick fights up with right hands in the corner and an elbow connects. Buff wants the tag though and OF COURSE he turns on Rick with a low blow, because that’s something WCW loves to do.

Commentary tries to sound shocked because that’s what they have to do as Buff runs off. Scott chokes and knees away on the ropes before Giant comes in to pull Rick up at two. It’s back to Scott so Rick fights up, only to get cut off with a low blow. For some reason Giant goes up and accidentally missile dropkicks Scott, leaving him hung up in the ropes for a funny visual. Rick gets up, Steiner Bulldogs Giant, and wins the Tag Team Titles at 8:23.

Rating: D. Other than the Giant hitting that dropkick, this was the point where the good in-ring side mostly falls off, as there is only so much you can get out of another SWERVE from Bagwell and the slow hammering offense from the Steiners. And of course Rick and Buff are the new champions, which would somehow lead to Rick teaming with Buff’s mother Judy Bagwell, say it with me, because WCW.

Rick Steiner vs. Scott Steiner

Scott tries to leave with the Giant but Rick goes after him for a ram into the steps. They get back in and Scott charges into a boot in the corner before being sent outside again. Another low blow (four on the night between all of the brawling) drops Rick again and Scott hits a running crotch attack against the ropes.

Rick grabs a belly to belly…and a guy in a Bill Clinton mask (and a suit) jumps the barricade, beats up security, and is handed a slap jack by an interfering Stevie Ray to knock Rick and the referee cold for the DQ at 3:32. And of course it’s Bagwell. Hold on though as Scott covers Rick and Buff makes the referee count, with Rick kicking out. The Frankensteiner gets two but Rick fights back and hits the Steiner Bulldog for the pin at 5:02.

Rating: D-. So Bagwell wore jeans for the tag match, ran to the back, put on a suit and mask so he could interfere in the ensuing singles match before unveiling himself. This would be after Buff and Rick won the Tag Team Titles from a team who weren’t he actual champions to set up a match which was already scheduled but was technically canceled before being put back in, despite not being “for fifteen minutes” as advertised. I have no idea how any of this was supposed to work, but it certainly didn’t.

We recap Scott Hall vs. Kevin Nash. They were best friends, but their loyalty to Hollywood Hogan and the NWO (and money) have split them up so they’re finally having a match.

Scott Hall vs. Kevin Nash

Hall throws his drink into Nash’s face and hammers away to start. They go out to the floor where Hall gets in a microphone shot and chokes with a camera cord. We pause for the referees to check on Nash’s eyes so Hall mocks him before dropping Nash with more right hands. Hall mocks being drunk as the fans chant for the Wolfpac, which is cut off by Hall’s slam.

Some right hands in the corner have Nash in trouble but he says bring it on, setting up the big side slam. Hall fights up with more right hands but has to bail from the threat of a Jackknife. Back in and things reset a bit, with Nash shoving him down without much trouble. Hall grabs an armbar but Nash shrugs it off and stomps him down.

Nash’s running crotch attack against the ropes keeps Hall in trouble and some knees in the corner (Nash: “How about a double? Would you like a double?”) makes it worse. The straps come down and Nash hits the Jackknife (or Jackhammer according to Schiavone), followed by a second. The crotch chop is enough to let Hall walk out for the countout at 14:21.

Rating: C. This was a storyline match instead of a more traditional version and in this case, that’s the right idea. Hall got in his usual stuff here but Nash gets the big dominant performance, with the actual result not mattering. At least it felt like this mattered in the slightest though and even made sense, which is a chance of pace from most o the rest of the show.

US Title: Sting vs. Bret Hart

Hart is defending and bails to the floor to start as commentary talks about the personal issues that are more important than the title. They don’t bother saying WHAT THOSE ISSUES ARE but that’s WCW for you. Hart gets back inside, the bell rings, and Hart bails to the floor again. Sting follows him outside and throws Hart back inside to hammer away in the corner. A head first ramp into the mat gives Sting two but Hart goes after the eyes to take over.

Hart drops a leg for two and we hit the chinlock, which is broken up even faster than usual. Sting’s comeback is cut off with a bulldog out of the corner but the middle rope elbow is countered into a failed Scorpion Deathlock attempt. Back up and Hart tries a leapfrog but grabs his knee, with even Heenan saying the fans are tired of being lied to all night. Hart gets in a cheap shot and drops the middle rope elbow for two as things slow back own. A drop onto the barricade has Sting in more trouble and Hart decks the referee.

With the referee down, Sting starts the comeback, with both of them jumping over the referee in a funny bit. Hart gets crotched on top and a top rope superplex somewhat lands on the referee to leave everyone down for awhile. The Stinger Splash hits the post so Hart hits him with the baseball bat over and over. A middle rope bat shot lets Hart finish what used to be Sting with the Sharpshooter to retain at 15:06.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t great but I’ll take a match between two stars with a definitive ending. Hart basically destroyed Sting here and the ending was a way to write Sting off for a bit. It’s good to see him get a win after the incredibly messy start to his WCW run and it worked well enough here, even if Hart was clearly not anywhere near what he was back in the WWF.

Sting does a stretcher job as commentary wonders what is wrong with him.

Hollywood Hogan vs. Warrior

Warrior beat him eight and a half years ago, then showed up to say that he can do it again. Hogan panicked and here we are for a showdown, which has the potential to be a disaster. Naturally Hogan stalls on the floor before the bell before a big right hand knocks him into the corner to start. Warrior cranks on the arm and Hogan is already bailing out to the floor again.

We get the tease of the test of strength but Hogan goes with a cheap shot to take over. Now they do the test and Warrior goes down as the attempt to recreate an iconic moment falls flatter than expected. Back up and they do the criss cross until Warrior shrugs off a slam and clotheslines him to the floor. They slowly brawl around ringside before Hogan gets back inside and decks the referee.

Cue the Giant, who hits Hogan by mistake (as he falls apart just before leaving the promotion), allowing Warrior to clothesline him out to the floor. There’s no referee to count, so Hogan grabs a belly to back suplex (see, because that happened in 1990 too) for a delayed two. Hogan whips him with the weightlifting belt bu misses some elbows as Warrior rolls away. This includes rolling towards Hogan, because left and right is too complicated here.

Warrior misses the splash but comes back with Hogan’s weightlifting belt to whip away. The referee breaks it up so hogan grabs some flash paper, which sets off a fireball…which doesn’t go anywhere near Warrior’s face. Warrior hammers away, including some ax handles to the head. A low blow cuts Warrior off and Hogan drops leg but Warrior fights up. Cue Horace Hogan to chair Warrior in the back so Hogan can grab the trunks for the win at 14:33.

Rating: F. Normally I would say something like “this was sad” but in this case, it was just pathetic, almost all of which has to be put on Hogan. As there is pretty much no way that this was Warrior’s plan for the match, instead we had far worse versions of the spots from their legendary match with both of them older and Hogan not being the kind of character who fits in this match at all. This really was one of the worst matches I’ve ever seen and it was all about making Hogan feel better after putting Warrior over almost nine years earlier. Lucky us.

Post match Hogan loads up lighter fluid but security breaks it up, not wanting to see any more of this either.

The WWE Vault version cuts out the entrances for the next match and we go straight to the ring.

So this is where the show gets infamous. As you’ve probably noticed, I’ve mentioned the timing issues that the show has had throughout the whole night. That is because the show was pretty much entirely out of time here, with the pay per view window of 11pm (or whatever it was) having about three minutes left as the World Title match was still left to go. As a result, a bunch of people lost the feed for the show and didn’t get to see the main event, forcing WCW to show it for free on Nitro.

It’s one thing to have a show go a little bit long, but this was asking for almost fifteen extra minutes and all because of a bunch of bonus matches, completely unnecessary promos and stuff like the Nitro Girls. It came off like WCW didn’t care what they did and just thought everyone would go along with them and that isn’t how things worked. While this wasn’t some death blow, it was a really big own goal and that’s not something the company could afford around this time. Things would get worse in a hurry, but this one is infamous for reasons of “WCW screwed up big.”

WCW World Title: Goldberg vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Goldberg is defending after Page earned the title shot by winning WarGames. Page charges at him a few times to start but gets shoved into the corner over and over by the raw power. They lock up and crash out to the floor as there is some rather strong electricity going here. Back in and Page tries a legsweep so Goldberg does a standing moonsault to avoid, only to get swept down instead for a quick staredown.

An armbar sends Page to the ropes but the threat of a Diamond Cutter gets him shoved outside again. Back in and Goldberg shoulders him right back outside but Page grabs a neckbreaker for a needed breather. Page’s front facelock is countered into Goldberg’s neckbreaker for a change and a side slam gets two. Goldberg kicks him into the corner but the spear hits the post, with the fans getting back into it as Page has an opening.

The top rope clothesline gives Page two and a spinning DDT connects but Goldberg pops back up with a heck of a spear. The shoulder is too damaged to hit the Jackhammer though and Page grabs the Diamond Cutter, which has the fans going rather nuts. The rather delayed cover gets two so Page tries a suplex, which is reversed into a not great Jackhammer (which is kind of the point) to retain the title at 10:29.

Rating: B. This was the first time Goldberg had what would be considered a full match, with Page not being able to hang with him throughout, but having the one big move that could actually threaten Goldberg. The pop from the Diamond Cutter was great and it’s a very good match and Page clearly walked through it, though it was more just a really solid showing rather than a classic. Still though, Goldberg’s best WCW match by a mile and Page’s road to the world title continues.

Goldberg shows respect to end the show in a hurry.

Overall Rating: D+. The interesting thing here is that there are some good matches on here (main event, opener, Sting vs. Hart, a few other ok ones) but e pluribus gads the bad parts are horrible. Hogan vs. Warrior is an all time bad example of what happens when one person gets everything they want, the Tag Team Title/Steiners stuff is a terrible mess and pretty much the entire first hour is a waste of time and a ridiculous waste of the fans’ money. Throw in the whole total disaster with the pay per view slot and this really is an elite level disaster.

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NWA-TNA Weekly PPV #1
Date: June 19, 2002
Location: Von Braun Center, Huntsville, Alabama
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West, Ed Ferrara

I’ve tried to do this series more than once and it has never quite worked but I might as well try it again. I’ve done the first 18 before but since it’s been so many years and I can’t even remember what happened, we’ll just start from the beginning. This is of course the new Jerry Jarrett promotion that was designed to fill in the gap left by WCW and it went…well yeah. Let’s get to it.

Commentary gets their entrances and we get an intro to the company, as well as the rules for tonight’s Gauntlet For The Gold (basically a Royal Rumble with a singles match at the end) for the World Title.

We open with an in-ring legends ceremony, with some big names included:

Harley Race
Dory Funk Jr.
Jackie Fargo
Bob Armstrong
Corsica Joe
Bill Behrens
Ricky Steamboat

Steamboat has the World Title and talks about how important the belt is to him and everyone else in the ring. Tonight you will see the Gauntlet For The Gold for the title and Steamboat will be the guest referee when it gets down to two. Cue Jeff Jarrett to interrupt and he hates the whole idea. Fargo doesn’t want to hear it and puts Jarrett in the Gauntlet at #1. Cue Ken Shamrock to say he doesn’t like this either, but Jarrett isn’t beating him up. Cue Scott Hall through the crowd (fresh off being thrown out of WWE) to say quit crying about the match because that’s how it’s going to go.

Puppet the Psycho Dwarf thinks his match should start the show because he’s the real star.

AJ Styles/Low Ki/Jerry Lynn vs. Flying Elvises

The Elvises would be Sonny Siaki/Jorge Estrada/Jimmy Yang and they jump the other three to start. Lynn is right up for a dive onto Siaki as Styles powerslams Yang. Lynn comes in with a backbreaker for two on Yang as this is all action to start. Back up and Yang sends Lynn into the corner for the step up moonsault kick too the chest. It’s off to Siaki, who gets sent into the corner so Ki can come in to strike away. An over the shoulder backbreaker plants Ki before a Samoan drop into a moonsault gets two.

A neckbreaker out of the corner into a running shooting star press gets two on Ki but he’s back with a heck of a kick to the head. It’s back to Styles for the springboard moonsault into the reverse DDT for two as everything breaks down. Lynn Cradle Piledrives Estrada but walks into a fisherman’s neckbreaker from Siaki. Ki kicks Styles by mistake though and Yang Time (twisting moonsault) is good for the pin on Styles at 6:27.

Rating: B-. And that’s how TNA starts. They weren’t kidding with the “total nonstop action” part as they had all six people going nuts out there and cramming in as much stuff as they could in about six and a half minutes. That isn’t much time to work with but Styles looked like a star and Lynn looked like the established veteran while Ki was the hard striker. Throw in a kind of awesome gimmick like the Flying Elvises and how can you go wrong?

Teo vs. Hollywood

It’s a midget match and Teo, the World’s Smallest Extreme Athlete, jumps him to start and hammers away in the corner. Tenay talks about how Rey Mysterio was asked to be a midget wrestler when he started. Ferrara: “And what happened?” Tenay: “Obviously he didn’t.” Thanks for that Mike. They trade rollups for two each until Hollywood knocks him down and hits a top rope splash for two. Teo comes back with a Russian legsweep into a top rope twisting Swanton for the pin at 2:49. Short and pretty much what you would expect here.

Apparently Teo stands for Totally (Totally E) Outstanding.  That’s….eh it’s kind of clever.

Ferrara gets in the ring and announces next week’s lingerie battle royal, with Ferrara and West bringing out various women who will be included, such as Francine, Shannon (Daphne), Alexis Laree (Mickie James), Elektra (from ECW) and more. Francine says none of these women can compare to her but Elektra doesn’t want to hear about extreme. The brawl is on and clothes are ripped off.  This was what you would think it would be.

Mortimer Plumtree, a rather nerdy manager who carries a paddle, brags about the force of his rather obedient tag team: the Johnsons.

Johnsons vs. Psicosis/James Storm

That’s quite a team to face off against the guys in flesh colored outfits meant to resemble a certain body part. Storm is a cowboy of course but looks more like a flasher in a cowboy hat. He does at least have some cap guns to make it more authentic. Richard sends Psicosis hard into the corner to start and snaps off a suplex for two. The Johnsons are sent into each other though and Storm dropkicks Rod down.

Cue Alicia (Ryan Shamrock) to watch, with commentary being glad for the camera to pan out and show the rest of her. Psicosis comes back in for a basement dropkick but the Johnsons plant him with a double flapjack. A t-bone suplex drops Psicosis again as commentary makes rather lame jokes. Psicosis faceplants his way out of a powerbomb attempt but the Johnsons snap off stereo suplexes. Everything breaks down and a sloppy TKO finishes Storm at 4:54.

Rating: C-. For a match that was all about making various awful jokes over one idea as many times as possible, this was surprisingly dull. Psicosis and Storm are as thrown together as you can find and while the Johnsons were a decent power team, they couldn’t be more one joke if they tried. It’s designed to make the writers laugh and if they have to go for a joke on the first show, so it be I guess.

Post match Alicia talks to the referee, who pays her.

The Dupps (Stan, better known as Trevor Murdoch, and Bo) go to have beers with their cousin Fluff but they aren’t allowed to wrestle.

Here are NASCAR drivers Hermie Sadler and Sterling Marlin for a chat. Marlin is the current season points leader and is ready to go race in California this week. Cue K-Krush (R-Truth) who is sick of hearing about race car drivers. He’s a real athlete instead of someone who drives around in a circle.

Sadler mocks Krush’s look and says this place is full of NASCAR fans. Krush isn’t interested but Brian Lawler (Grandmaster Sexay) runs in for the save. The drivers get to beat Krush up and Lawler issues the challenge for next week. Seems to be on. Commentary going back and forth between Brian Christopher and Brian Lawler isn’t a good sign.

Jeff Jarrett is choking Jackie Fargo.

Christian York/Joey Matthews vs. Dupps

The Dupps, with Fluff (the cousin AND girlfriend), are as stereotypical of a hillbilly team as you could get. York gets dropped to start but Matthews comes in with a double springboard dropkick. Bo strikes away on Matthews and hits a standing splash for two. Back up and Matthews clotheslines his way to freedom, allowing York to come in and clean house. Everything breaks down and York hits a tornado DDT but Fluff breaks up something off the top, allowing Stan to get the pin at 3:42.

Rating: C. York and Matthews are a good team for a pair of young, athletic stars but there is only so much you can get when you have a one note comedy act. The Dupps are about as dumb of a team as you can get, save for the team that we saw in the previous match. One team showed potential while the other was awful, so guess which team won.

Here’s the video for Toby Keith’s How Do You Like Me Now. He’s no Hardcore Holly.

Here is Keith to sing Courtesy Of The Red White And Blue live and, after quite a lengthy performance, Jeff Jarrett interrupts. Jarrett: “How do you like ME now?” Keith is held back.

NWA World Title: Gauntlet For The Gold

The title is vacant coming in (as Dan Severn was stripped of the title due to not defending it here), there are twenty entrants with ninety second intervals and it’s a battle royal until the final two entrants. Jeff Jarrett is in at #1 and Buff Bagwell is in at #2 to slug away and hit the running neckbreaker. The Blockbuster connects but a charging Bagwell is sent out with a backdrop. Lash Leroux is in at #3 And they both head outside (not eliminated) to slug it out.

Back in and the Stroke connects, with Leroux being easily tossed. Norman Smiley is in at #4 as the remaining time is skipped if there is only one person in the ring. Good for fans, totally unfair to the lone wrestler. Jarrett blocks the Big Wiggle and tosses Smiley without much trouble. Apollo (a rather big and muscular wrestler from Puerto Rico) is in at #5 and manages to send Jarrett to the apron for some stomping but can’t get him out. K-Krush is in at #6 and saves Jarrett from a gorilla press, setting up an ax kick to Apollo. Slash, with James Mitchell, is in at #7 as Apollo fights up.

Jarrett saves Slash for no logical reason and the villains hammer on Apollo again. Del Rios is in at #8 as the ring is starting to fill up. The rather large Justice (soon to be known as Abyss) is in at #9 and hits the yet to be named Black Hole Slam on Del Rios. Slash adds a reverse DDT to Del Rios and it’s Konnan in at #10 to pick up the pace.

That gives us a grouping of Jarrett, Apollo, K-Krush, Slash, Del Rios, Justice and Konnan, which is quite the collection. Here is Joel Gertner to limerick Bruce (better known as Kwee Wee in WCW) at #11. The entrance takes so long that almost nothing can happen before Rick Steiner is in at #12. Slash is eliminated and Justice follows him as Rick clears some of the ring. Malice (formerly known as The Wall in WCW and Slash’s partner in the Disciples Of The New Church) is in at #13 and throws out Bruce, K-Krush, Del Rios and Konnan before low bridging Steiner out. Apollo skins the cat to stay alive and it’s Scott Hall in at #14.

A superkick drops Malice and Hall hits the Razor’s Edge to plant Jarrett. Toby Keith is in at #15 (oh dear) and suplexes Jarrett (who can’t hide that he’s doing the work) before tossing him out. Keith walks out, seemingly eliminating himself, leaving us with Hall, Apollo and Malice. Chris Harris is in at #16 to pick up the pace but the Vampire Warrior (Gangrel) follows him and seems to be in as well. Devon Storm (formerly known as Crowbar) is in at #17 (I think?) and gets to hit some people but no one is tossed.

Steve Corino is in at #18 and seems rather happy to be here. Mitchell gets in a cheap shot to cut Corino off as Ken Shamrock is in at #19. Some rather hard striking abounds until Malice catches him with a chokeslam. Harris is sent to the apron but comes back in to hammer on the Warrior. Brian Christopher is in at #20, giving us a final grouping of Hall, Apollo, Malice, Harris, Warrior, Storm, Corino, Shamrock and Christopher.

Harris, Storm and the Warrior are out in a hurry and Christopher knocks Corino out as well. Shamrock kicks Christopher down and throws him out before Malice does the same to Apollo. Hall is tossed as well and it’s Shamrock vs. Malice for the title, with Ricky Steamboat as referee.

Malice puts him down rather quickly and gets two off a side slam. Shamrock’s sunset flip is blocked but the chokeslam is countered into a cross armbreaker. Malice grabs the rope so Shamrock grabs the ankle lock, with Malice going to the rope again. For some reason Shamrock just pulls him back and doesn’t let go, so another rope has to be grabbed for the real break. Shamrock even yells at Steamboat (no one yells at Ricky Steamboat) before countering a chokeslam into a belly to belly suplex for the pin and the title at 37:37.

Rating: C+. There were definitely names involved here and it made the match feel more prestigious. A match like this is about setting the standard for the main event scene going forward and Shamrock is a good choice to start things off. Malice felt like a monster but there is only so much you can get out of that monsterness when Shamrock beats him in a few minutes. For now though, this is the right call and you know that Jarrett is going to have something to complain about.

Commentary talks about the night but here is Jeff Jarrett to yell at Dory Funk Jr., Harley Race and Bob Armstrong over how a World Title shouldn’t be decided in a battle royal. Jarrett drops Funk and Armstrong so here are Jackie Fargo and Toby Keith to yell. Fargo says he’ll get Scott Hall to fight Jarrett next week. Hall runs in and brawls with Jarrett to end the show. They’re the biggest stars in the company but it’s not a great idea to put them out there just after crowning a new World Champion.

Overall Rating: C-. Oh this was a rough start, with only a few bright spots. The main event was good enough and the opener worked, but the obsession with the country/southern stuff and the dumb “comedy” tag teams were just bad. It’s not a show I’d want to keep watching, but in theory they were going for the idea of having no alternatives to WWE. Call it a case of anything being better than nothing, but egads they have a lot of work to do.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 20, 1993
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 1,200
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage, Bobby Heenan

Last week saw the Quebecers win/steal the Tag Team Titles from the Steiner Brothers. You aren’t going to get the Steiners to go away that easily and now Scott gets a chance to beat Pierre to get another shot. Other than that, we don’t really have much going on as Survivor Series is two months away, so get ready for some squashes. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of the Quebecers winning the Tag Team Titles last week via DQ, as it was under Province Of Quebec (meaning complicated) Rules.

Opening sequence.

It’s a rough week for Bobby Heenan, who has a bad case of the sniffles after Doink threw water on him last week.

Pierre vs. Scott Steiner

Johnny Polo is the only second here. Scott starts fast and clotheslines Pierre down before sending him outside, with Polo already panicking. The piledriver, which would have been illegal last week, crushes Pierre again as Scott covers everything that would have lost them the titles (nice). We get a Muta Lock of all things, which feels so out of place in 1993….well America really.

Scott knocks him down again and Pierre needs a hug on the floor. Polo gets chased to the back and Scott steals his hockey stick as we take a break. Back with Scott holding Pierre at bay with said stick, but here is Jacques to uneven things up. Rick Steiner comes out to stare Jacques down, allowing Pierre to get in the cheap shot to take over for the first time. Polo gets in a cheap shot of his own and we hit the chinlock.

Like a true villain, Pierre doesn’t crank on it very hard but does put his feet on the ropes. Naturally Vince talks about Rush Limbaugh, because that’s what fans were wanting to hear. The Vader Bomb gets two on Scott and a middle rope legdrop is good for the same. A backslide gives Scott a breather and it’s a double knockdown for the extended breather. Back up and the Frankensteiner gives Scott the fast pin at 16:06.

Rating: C. This went on for a good while but I’ll take something like this over the endless parade of squash matches that you usually get around here. At the same time, you have to keep the Steiners strong and as was shown last week, the Quebecers can only win with the screwy rules. They did what they needed to do here, even if it dragged in the middle.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Laverne Magille

What a name for Bigelow’s victim. Bigelow misses a dropkick to start and gets dropkicked into the corner. That doesn’t last long as Bigelow suplex slams him down as Crush calls him. The recovery is going well but, again, Crush doesn’t want to talk to Randy Savage, hanging up on him for the second week in a row.

Bigelow hits some weird jumping kick and the chinlock goes on. The clubbing forearms set up the choking on the rope, with Magille being thrown over said rope to the floor. Back in and Magille avoids a charge but dives into a ram into the corner. Another suplex slam sets up the backsplash to give Bigelow the pin at 5:17.

Rating: C-. This was long and not exactly good, as Bigelow was looking sloppy at times and they felt like they were filling in time more than once. Then again that is exactly what they should have been doing, as there is only so much you can get out of a five minute squash. Bigelow was always good for some impressive looking stuff, but he didn’t get to do much here.

We look back at Doink The Clown throwing water on Bobby Heenan last week.

Heenan, claiming a 113 degree fever, is found to be at about 97 degrees.

Here is Bret Hart for a chat. Vince McMahon talks about the things that Bret has dealt with in this building, mainly involving Jerry Lawler. Bret tortured Lawler at Summerslam but the decision was overturned because he wouldn’t let go of the Sharpshooter. This gets a rather long recap, with Vince making it sound like an explanation to a jury.

Therefore, Lawler is the undisputed King of the WWF, but Bret (who finally gets to talk) isn’t so sure. It’s a great honor to be King of the Ring but Bret cares about his family honor more than anything else. Maybe Bret should have let the Sharpshooter go at Summerslam. Or not, as he should have held onto it longer. Lawler will have to step in the ring with him again one day and Bret will take away the head that wears the crown. Well that escalated quickly.

Mr. Perfect vs. Mike Bell

Perfect takes the arm to start and then slaps Bell in the face. The headlock works a bit better for Perfect and he runs Bell over with a shoulder. There’s the running dropkick and they head outside as this is one sided so far. Chops against the post and in the corner back inside ensue, setting up the necksnap to keep Bell in trouble. The knee lift and dropkick set up the PerfectPlex for the pin at 3:51.

Rating: C. Now that was more like it, as Perfect barely broke a sweat here and won with absolutely no trouble. Perfect could make things look so smooth out there and that was on full display here. This was a good year for Perfect, who got to show that he could still do it as well as he did before, but with a bit more of a veteran style to it. Nice stuff here, which shouldn’t be a surprise.

Ludvig Borga doesn’t like trash or Lex Luger, who STANDS UP for trash.

Bobby Heenan talks to a man who proposed to his girlfriend, but Heenan makes the woman hold his Kleenex. Then he steals her popcorn.

IRS vs. PJ Walker

Walker is better known as Justin Credible but IRS declares him a tax cheat. IRS takes him outside for an early whip into the steps as Razor Ramon comes out to watch. That’s enough of a distraction for Walker to grab a rollup for the big upset at 1:19.

The Quebecers know the Steiners have earned a title shot….but there are more deserving teams so the Quebecers will defend against them instead. The Steiners being suspended around this time is just a coincidence I assure you.

The preview (including JIMMY SNUKA of all people, complete with the famous cage splash footage) wraps us up.

Overall Rating: C. The opener got the time to make things a bit better and the upset in the end was a nice surprise. This was much more to the formula for the early days of Raw and it wasn’t a half bad show. There is good stuff around this time and if you can get through some of the boring, it can be pretty entertaining to watch week to week.

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Monday Nitro #282
Date: March 19, 2001
Location: O’Connell Center, Gainesville, Florida
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson

Greed has come and gone and it should be interesting to see where things go with this final real show before next week’s grand (work with me here) finale. Scott Steiner is still World Champion after demolishing Diamond Dallas Page because that’s what Scott Steiner does, though it does raise the question of who is left for him to beat. In theory that would be Booker T., who became US Champion for the first time last night. Let’s get to it.

We open with an In Memorium tribute to Diamond Dallas Page, complete with Taps and a shot of a flag at half mast over video of a trailer park.

Quick look at last night’s main event.

Here’s the Magnificent Seven (well four, counting Midajah) to open things up. As they’re on the way to the ring, we’re told that Eric Bischoff will be calling in later. That should be interesting for a change. Scott says Page is now on the same list as Sting, Kevin Nash, Sid Vicious and Goldberg and demands that the fans pay homage to him.

Ric brags about beating Dusty and Dustin around Jacksonville last night and says Dusty isn’t here tonight. Dusty and Dustin pop up on screen to say Flair is going to kiss something tonight. After a challenge from Steiner, Dusty says someone is here to fight Steiner instead. Cue Booker T., who Scott says he beat so bad that Booker forgot where the barbershop is. Booker promises to get his hands on Steiner tonight.

Buff Bagwell and Animal are in the back with Buff accusing Lex Luger of being the attacker. The cameraman is told to follow Luger around all night.

Jason Jett vs. Disco Inferno

Hudson talks about Jason Jett’s win last night as we see his win on Thunder. Of course they can’t get it right with three shows left. Disco has Mike Sanders with him. Jason spins him him down with a headlock and a sitout powerbomb for two. Sanders offers a distraction though and it’s time for dancing.

A facebuster sets up more dancing and a delayed near fall before Disco starts in on the knee. Yet another distraction allows Sanders to come in and be quickly dispatched so Jett can slam Disco down, setting up a standing moonsault for two. Sanders tries to come in but hits Disco by mistake, allowing Jett to hit the Crash Landing for the pin.

Rating: D+. Jett continues to be interesting but this is pretty much it for him unless he’s got a final match on Thunder. Disco losing because of a stupid blunder is the perfect way for him to go out, but he deserves some credit for being around as long as he was. He debuted on one of the very first shows and made it all the way to the end on a glorified comedy character. There wasn’t any real future for him in the WWF or anything but Disco is someone who deserves more credit than he gets.

Ric Flair and Jeff Jarrett are having a chat as the documentary cameraman (whose identity isn’t entirely clear actually) sneaks in a shot through the crack of a door.

Here’s Shane Helms to challenge Kidman to a rubber match for the Cruiserweight Title.

Cruiserweight Title: Shane Helms vs. Kidman

Kidman is challenging. They run the ropes to start with Helms sending him outside and following with a big flip dive. A good looking high cross body gets two for the champ but Kidman gets the same off a belly to back. They’re moving out there so far. A BK Bomb plants Helms for two as we’re told that next week is the season finale. Helms stops a charge by raising a boot and ducks a clothesline to grab the Vertebreaker and retain the title.

Rating: C+. This was too short to be really good but they were flying around at high speed for the few minutes they had. Kidman looked good as always but it was clear that Helms was just flat out better than anyone else in the division at this point. He’s a great option for the final champion and I’m glad he had a long career after WCW went under.

Post match Chavo Guerrero Jr. comes out for the brawl until Kid Romeo and Elix Skipper run down to help Guerrero. Rey Mysterio makes the save and the good guys (including Helms) clear the ring.

Lex Luger has been laid out so the cameraman goes to find Buff or Animal to help.

Bam Bam Bigelow has been granted a rematch with Shawn Stasiak. For the love of all things good and made of pickle flavored ice cream, WHY?

Buff and Animal ask if Luger saw anything. Animal freaks out because this needs to stop and Rick Steiner is the next suspect.

Shawn Stasiak vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Stacy is now just Stacy instead of Stacy Keibler and despite the Miss Hancock outfit. Before the match we get a quick Shawn and Stacy Show with Shawn saying he’s ready to beat Bigelow up again so he and Stacy can get down to the real business. Bigelow throws him around to start but gets pounded in the corner. Who knew Shawn had that in him? A clothesline actually drops Bigelow but he intercepts Stacy’s hairspray. Ever the nice guy though, Bigelow doesn’t use it and opts for the Greetings From Asbury Park for the pin.

The replays shows a virtually empty upper deck, which is only the fourth section away from the ring.

Post match Stasiak says he wants one more match but Bigelow wants the pot sweetened a bit: if he wins, Stasiak has to get a tattoo. Shawn agrees, despite thinking it was going to be Stacy at the time. Wouldn’t Stacy getting one be a bigger draw? Well to be fair they’re going out of business so that’s hardly their biggest problem.

Here are Scott Steiner, Flair and Midajah to the ring where a table has been set. Terry Taylor is there also but Scott throws the chairs out and grabs him by the shirt. Cue Booker T. to the stage so he’s clearly not a Red Rooster fan. Booker introduces the phone call from Eric Bischoff, which can be heard in the arena.

Bischoff has been trying to acquire WCW but they’ve hit some roadblocks that may be brick walls. Next week might be the last night of wrestling on the Turner networks so next week will be a Night of Champions, meaning every title will be on the line. That includes Booker T. vs. Scott Steiner in a title vs. title match. Also, any former World Heavyweight Champions are invited to the show next week and please bring your boots with them. As for Ric Flair, he will be giving Dusty that kiss tonight no matter what. Bischoff will be there next week and hangs up.

Steiner signs the contract for next week as Booker has made it to the ring. Scott jumps him before Booker can sign and beats him down with the pipe. Security comes in and gets laid out as well but Booker pops up and hits the ax kick on Scott. Booker gets the pipe but Steiner bails with Flair and Midajah, leaving Booker to say his catchphrase, which is then played again at the start of his theme song.

Buff, Animal and Luger go to see Ric (who obviously hasn’t been out to the ring yet when this was filmed) and Jeff. Ric says they’re going to regroup but there will be no kissing.

M.I. Smooth vs. Kanyon

Kanyon jumps Smooth (in wrestling gear here) during his entrance but gets powerslammed down. Smooth has to keep pulling his straps up as they head outside with Kanyon getting chopped around the ring. Back in and Smooth splashes him in the corner but Kanyon gets a Russian legsweep for two.

Kanyon goes Flair by asking for the time and dropping a low blow behind the referee’s back. A slingshot elbow gets two on Smooth as Kanyon looks bored. Maybe it’s the whole psycho character but he needs to find a better way to show emotion. Smooth powerbombs him but misses a charge into the post, allowing Kanyon to go grab a chair. Animal runs in and DDT’s Smooth with the Cat coming in for a save after the pin.

Rating: D-. What the heck was that? Kanyon looked bored out of his mind and after Smooth no sold all those chair shots last week but now he loses in five minutes to a DDT from Animal? I always liked Ice Train back in the day so it was cool to see him get a mild push over the last few weeks but that’s not quite how I was hoping he would wrap up his career.

Cat makes a tag match for Thunder.

Dusty Rhodes eats more burritos.

Rick Steiner vs. Konnan

Steiner really doesn’t seem to mind that he lost the US Title. They’re on the floor in less than ten seconds and for some reason Rick is in bright blue. They trade whips into the barricade before Rick runs him over back inside. We’re firmly in the Rick Steiner formula now with Steiner slowly walking around and occasionally hitting Konnan before staring out at the crowd.

Konnan comes back with a faceplant but Rick completely misses a clothesline. It’s sold anyway and Konnan looks like a moron as a result, despite the clothesline being about a foot above his head. Rick stands over him again before putting Konnan’s arm between Rick’s legs and laying down, which apparently is an armbar. As the fans try to get their head around how Rick can actually be that lazy, Shane Douglas comes in for the DQ with a cast shot to Steiner’s head.

Rating: F. For that armbar alone. Of all the people who wouldn’t be seen again for years anywhere outside of a reunion show or some bad TNA pay per view, I think I’ll miss Rick Steiner the least. The guy was part of a great team at one point but ever since he’s become a singles wrestler, he’s turned into one of the biggest embarrassments I’ve ever seen in a wrestling ring.

Rick is back up ten seconds later to be knocked outside by Hugh Morrus.

Bagwell, Luger and Animal accuse Rick of being the attacker and are thrown out after an argument.

Team Canada is ready to win a non-title match and earn a Tag Team Title shot.

Ric assures Jarrett that he’ll make the right decision.

Sean O’Haire/Chuck Palumbo vs. Team Canada

Non-title. Storm and Palumbo start to some USA chants. Chuck fires off some great right hands and dropkicks Storm out to the floor. Back in and it’s off to Sean vs. Mike with O’Haire ducking a clothesline and hitting a perfect spinning kick to the face for two. Lance comes in for some right hands and a suplex to set up Awesome’s slingshot splash for two more.

Awesome clotheslines Storm by mistake but Storm comes off the top to stop a tag attempt. Back up and Sean hits a fireman’s carry throw on Storm, allowing the hot tag off to Chuck to clean house. It’s a shame that the crowd isn’t reacting to most of this as they’re having a good match.

Everything breaks down and Awesome eats the Jungle Kick but Storm breaks up the Seanton Bomb. Storm gets a chair kicked into his face but Awesome cracks Palumbo in the head with another chair. The shot was so close to Nick Patrick’s head that even Tony has to ask how Patrick didn’t hear it. The Awesome Bomb gives Mike the pin on Palumbo. That’s your Tag Team Title match next week.

Rating: B. I liked this a lot better than I was expecting to as O’Haire and Palumbo have turned into a good team here in the final few weeks. Team Canada isn’t bad either as Storm and Awesome have good chemistry together and the rematch should be fun next week, even if it barely means anything. You need a good wrestling match like this to boost a show and this one did just that.

Here are Jarrett and Flair for the big closing segment. Flair tells Dusty to come out here right now but it’s Dustin instead. Ric wants the old version so Dustin introduces his dad who comes out with a donkey and I think you get the joke. In case it’s not clear, the back of the donkey says “Dusty’s A**”. Apparently the donkey, named Old Silver Dollar, has had about 300 burritos today, which I can’t imagine is healthy for him.

Flair sends Jeff to do it instead but Jarrett says no way. Dustin gets beaten down but here’s daddy for the save. The villains send Dusty into the barricade and go over towards the donkey. Dustin makes another save and Flair does indeed kiss Silver Dollar to end the show. I get the idea here but wouldn’t Flair being made to do what was implied all night be more embarrassing? This was funny enough but it was a downgrade in a way.

Overall Rating: C+. You have to keep in mind that this show is basically part one of a series finale. On that front, it wrapped up several stories though I’m still curious to see if they tell us who the attacker was. The wrestling here was up and down as has become the standard in WCW with a lot of the problem still being Rick Steiner putting on another horrible match and dragging the show down with him. Overall though, this was an easy night to sit through as they’re just flat out saying they’re done after next week.

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Greed
Date: March 18, 2001
Location: Jacksonville Municipal Coliseum, Jacksonville, Florida
Attendance: 5,030
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson

After all that, we’ve come down to this. Seventeen years ago, the first WCW (NWA at the time) super show aired and it was called Starrcade. The main event of that show saw Ric Flair win the NWA World Title from Harley Race in a changing of the guard, only to be challenged by Dusty Rhodes before the show ended as part of a legendary feud that would headline the next two Starrcades. Now it’s a show called Greed and Ric Flair and Dusty Rhodes will be facing off in a featured match with stipulations involving the loser kissing a certain part of the winner. Sometimes wrestling is funny but this is sad. Let’s get to it.

The opening video focuses on Diamond Dallas Page, who is still standing after everything Scott Steiner has thrown at him.

Tony: “If it’s professional wrestling, it must be greed!”

Jason Jett vs. Kwee Wee

Bonus match. Kwee Wee jumps him during his entrance though to be fair Jason was taking his sweet time going around the ring high fiving fans. Jett comes right back and goes to the top to dive onto Kwee Wee and take over. They head inside with Jason grabbing a reverse Boston crab but also pulling Kwee Wee up by the arm. Tony says he’s never seen anything like it but it’s been seen in WCW before, from Konnan I believe.

Kwee Wee gets out and throws Jason to the floor by the hair. That’s a new one, or at least a painful one. Jett charges at him and gets backdropped onto the apron for something like a Tajiri handspring into a DDT onto the floor. Cool spot. Totally contrived looking, but cool. Back in and Jett is backdropped out to the floor for a big crash and it’s time to choke with a cord. As is always the case, Kwee Wee continues to be so far beyond this gimmick that it’s kind of sad.

Kwee Wee covers on the floor, prompting Hudson to mention that the main event is falls count anywhere. I don’t remember that being mentioned anywhere leading up to this show and unfortunately that’s probably the first time it was announced. We hit the chinlock to slow things down a bit (well earned at this point) and we’re told that the falls count anywhere stipulation was indeed added to the main event on the pre-show. Actually make that the END of the pre-show.

I’d be more mad about that if the company had ten days left, or if Jett wasn’t on top for a superbomb that was countered into a super hurricanrana for two. Kwee Wee calls for the piledriver but Jett reverses and hits the Tajiri elbow. The Crash Landing is escaped (I wonder if Kwee Wee’s hair can be used as a flotation device) and Kwee Wee gets two off a northern lights suplex. Jett sends him outside and lays down to play possum, causing Kwee Wee to miss a top rope legdrop. Serves him right to get hurt after not actually doing anything to put Jason down. The Crash Landing gives Jason the pin.

Rating: B+. I don’t know if it’s the low expectations or just being happy that I don’t have another WCW pay per view after this but I dug the heck out of this match. These two were all over the place with big spot after big spot and I wanted to see what they were going to do next. It’s a shame that both guys were basically done after this (save for Kwee Wee wrestling women in TNA) due to not arriving soon enough and having a horrible gimmick.

We recap the Cruiserweight Tag Team Title tournament.

Cruiserweight Tag Team Titles: Elix Skipper/Kid Romeo vs. Kidman/Rey Mysterio

The titles are vacant coming in and Kidman throws a curveball by wearing a gray shirt for a change. That’s WCW’s version of mind games I suppose. Kidman and Romeo start things off with Romeo hitting an Alley Oop of all things to take over. Skipper comes in and slams his partner onto Kidman for two but it’s quickly off to Rey for a springboard legdrop to take over.

They fight up the ramp with Mysterio and Kidman hitting stereo dives off the stage for a good looking spot. Back in and Skipper knees Kidman out to the floor in a crash. Romeo spends too much time chopping though and gets beaten up in the corner, only to have Romeo back with Mysterio’s sitout bulldog. We hit the chinlock for a bit before it’s back to Skipper to choke on the ropes.

Elix takes him to the top until Kidman takes him down with a sitout powerbomb and a round of applause. The hot tag brings in Rey to clean house and send Elix shoulder first into the post. Kidman hits a top rope shooting star to the floor to take out both Romeo and Skipper. Back in and a reverse suplex gets two on Romeo with Skipper making the save. Skipper dragon suplexes Rey into a guillotine legdrop from Romeo with Kidman diving in for a save.

The good guys one up them with a powerbomb into a top rope splash for two on Skipper, followed by the Bronco Buster. It’s nonstop action at this point. Kidman and Skipper head to the floor, leaving Rey to moonsault into the Last Kiss to give Romeo and Skipper the inaugural titles.

Rating: A-. Sweet goodness this show is on fire to start. This was the kind of match you would expect from the previous generation of cruiserweights which didn’t seem to be possible until a few months ago. Outstanding stuff here with four guys flying all over the place to show off for the crowd and make the titles look like something special.

More documentary stuff Buff saying he’s doing this so he can get his face on TV. Basically Flair says they’ll all win tonight. Animal actually talks a bit here, only showing how worthless of a signing he was. Can anyone explain to me why Mike Awesome couldn’t have played the exact same role? Other than giving Animal a payday of course.

We recap Shawn Stasiak vs. Bam Bam Bigelow which has had all of six days’ build. Basically Shawn doesn’t like bald tattooed people and you can figure out the rest for yourself.

Shawn Stasiak vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Stacy is back in the Miss Hancock gear and I forgot how well that look worked. She introduces the Shawn and Stacy Show with Shawn doing the same horrible insults that didn’t get him over in the first place. Bigelow drives him into the corner to start but Shawn nips up. That is the extent of the comparisons that will be made between Shawn Stasiak and Shawn Michaels.

A shove sends Stasiak outside and that means we need a timeout. Bigelow knocks him to the floor again as this is already horrible. Shawn comes back in with a high cross body and some posing, only to have Bigelow destroy him again for the top rope headbutt. This brings Stacy to the apron for the hair down distraction, allowing Shawn to spray Bigelow in the eyes with some perfume. The neckbreaker puts Bigelow away.

Rating: F. We get two great matches to open the show and then have to sit through the latest attempt to make Shawn Stasiak mean something. It doesn’t help that Stasiak’s offense is move, pose, move, pose, cheat to win with a neckbreaker. We would have been much better off with just having Stacy stand in the ring reciting the alphabet for six minutes instead but that might be too complicated for WCW.

Shawn and Stacy kiss post match.

Cat tells Miss Jones to stay in the back but she won’t stand for it.

Romeo and Skipper put the belts on each other.

We recap Hugh Morrus/Konnan vs. Team Canada which is basically I hit you, you hit me.

Team Canada vs. Hugh Morrus/Konnan

There’s no Canadian national anthem for Storm so we get the dramatic head turn as Hugh Morrus’ music plays instead. It’s a brawl to start (duh) with Awesome and Morrus but it’s quickly off to Storm. Hudson brings up the fact that Storm and Morrus were supposed to have their final battle but “the heat was too great.” The double teaming continues on Morrus with Konnan punching Storm from the apron, only to knock him right into Hugh to prevent the hot tag.

The locker room leaders ladies and gentlemen. Konnan gets the tag a few seconds later but Awesome runs him over a few seconds in to keep the Canadians in control. Morrus gets to play cheerleader as Storm gets beaten down in the wrong corner. Awesome’s clothesline gets two and Konnan’s small package gets the same. A top rope shoulder knocks Konnan into his own corner but thankfully Awesome is smart enough to pull him right back. Storm’s dropkick hits Konnan in the hands so clearly that even the announcers have to acknowledge it.

We hit the chinlock for a bit, followed by the referee missing the hot tag. A piledriver from Awesome sends Konnan back first onto Awesome’s legs but Storm’s awkward looking top rope….something lands on Konnan’s raised boot. That was really weird looking as Storm seemed to be going for a swan dive (not exactly a standard move for him but had to move forward to hit Konnan’s foot. Either way it’s enough for the hot tag to Morrus, only to have Storm superkick him down. Konnan and Storm fight to the floor but Lance is able to break up No Laughing Matter, setting up the Awesome Bomb for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match was longer than it needed to be but this could have been a lot worse. That being said it’s also not any interesting match and I’m also not sure why these teams were fighting in the first place. It also doesn’t help that they weren’t exactly putting in the strongest effort, though it’s kind of hard to blame them at this point.

Dusty Rhodes orders 240 burritos to get ready for his match later. See, if Flair loses he has to kiss Dusty’s….yeah you get the idea.

Buff interviews Rick Steiner, who isn’t sure why Scott is so freaked out. It’s probably Midajah though.

Chuck Palumbo and Sean O’Haire look at something several feet away from the camera as they talk about how they’ll die to keep the Tag Team Titles.

Cruiserweight Tag Team Titles: Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Shane Helms

Chavo is def…..what’s that? Oh WCW put up the wrong graphic because they can’t go five minutes without screwing something up? Let’s try this again.

Cruiserweight Title: Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Shane Helms

Chavo is defending for reasons that the announcers can’t cover because they’re too busy talking about Dusty and his burritos. Ignore them saying the wrong number of burritos because they can’t remember something Dusty said five minutes ago. Chavo beat Shane back in January but Shane has gotten much better (and put on trunks instead of pants) since then and earned another title shot last month.

A headlock gives Chavo early control and a clothesline cuts off Shane’s attempt to increase the pace. Shane gets in a middle rope fist drop for two as the fans aren’t exactly thrilled by this. It’s almost like those two really boring matches killed the crowd’s enthusiasm or something. A high angle t-bone suplex gets two for the champ and it’s off to an STF. The idea they’re going for is Chavo taking away Shane’s rhythm and not letting him get anything going so at least there’s an idea here.

We hit a Muta Lock for a bit before they can’t bridge into a backslide. Shane comes back and sends Chavo outside, only to have the champ slide back in and hit a dive off the top. You don’t see Chavo fly often but he looks good when he does it. Back in and Shane grabs a swinging neckbreaker to put both guys down.

The Sugar Smack knocks Chavo off the apron but he comes right back with a sitout reverse inverted DDT. Helms grabs the Nightmare on Helms Street for two but Chavo crotches him on top, only to pick Shane up instead of cover. Ever the overconfident one, Chavo tries his own Vertebreaker and is promptly reversed into the real thing to give Shane the title.

Rating: B-. This was much more entertaining than good but the important part was the story they told to get here. Shane started off as the unpolished talent and then moved on to become the champion after honing his skills. Chavo was a great champion and more than made the title feel important again but his reign was over and it was Shane’s time. Not a great match but a really good story.

Flair and Jarrett say they’ll win.

Booker T. says he’s coming for the only title he’s never won.

We recap Sean O’Haire/Chuck Palumbo vs. Totally Buff which is your standard new school vs. old school feud. The champs have beaten Luger and Bagwell for weeks now so the signs point to new champions here.

Tag Team Title: Totally Buff vs. Sean O’Haire/Chuck Palumbo

Totally Buff, challenging here, have individual entrances. Before the match we need to hear about Luger and Bagwell getting rid of Goldberg all over again because that hasn’t been touched on enough. The champs come to the ring and it’s a superkick into the Seanton Bomb for the pin to retain in less than a minute. Hudson: “That was a Georgia Championship Wrestling squash!” I guess it takes the company dying to have Luger put someone over this strongly like he should have done two years ago. As glad as I’ll be to see WCW finally finish, I’d still really like to see what they did with O’Haire. That guy had it.

Scott Steiner yells about beating Page tonight.

We recap The Cat vs. Kanyon which started when over Kanyon laying out Miss Jones, attacking her in a hospital and then not being able to stop the angry limo driver, who came off as looking like the big star out of all this thing.

Buff is still down in the ring but gets up pointing at his neck.

The Cat vs. Kanyon

Kanyon goes after Jones again and is sent into the barricade a few times. Apparently Kanyon broke his hand on Monday night (not Tuesday Tony). They head inside for the first time with cat electric chair dropping Kanyon off the ropes but Kanyon starts hitting him with the cast.

That just earns him a powerbomb because a cast shot to the head merely annoys Cat. Kanyon gets two off a top rope clothesline, which Hudson says wasn’t worthy of a cover. The middle rope Fameasser gets the same and we hit the chinlock, followed by a swinging neckbreaker for two. Cat’s superplex gets two and it’s time for the dancing martial arts.

Kanyon can’t do his snap sitout Alabama Slam for some reason so he settles for a Boston crab instead. A Feliner out of nowhere gets two as Kanyon puts his foot on the rope because this match needs to keep going. Kanyon’s cast shot gets two more (that’s a horrible cast) and the referee goes down. Jones comes in and kicks Cat by mistake, only to kick Kanyon away, setting up the Feliner for the pin.

Rating: D. The ending was the only possible choice but that doesn’t mean it was the right way to get there. Kanyon clearly wasn’t trying and you don’t want to have the Cat be the one responsible for carrying a match. Boring match here but at least we got one more appearance from Miss Jones for the road.

Post match Kanyon gives Cat the Flatliner but Smooth comes out to save Jones.

Totally Buff argues over the loss.

Dusty has eaten a lot of burritos and promises it’s going to smell bad. This isn’t funny.

We recap Booker T. vs. Rick Steiner which is really just to give Booker something to do before he can fight Scott for the World Title.

US Title: Rick Steiner vs. Booker T.

Booker is challenging. Rick punches him to the floor to start and sends Booker into the crowd because this is about making Rick look strong. Back in and a Pearl River Plunge gets a delayed two for the champion but Booker grabs an Angle Slam of all things. That’s it for his offense at the moment though as Rick gets in a belly to belly for two. We hit the chinlock because Booker can’t be on offense for more than ten seconds in a row.

It’s also too much to ask for Rick to actually crank on the hold. Booker comes back again and hits the ax kick (now the Ghetto Blaster) but the referee gets kicked by mistake so Rick can take over AGAIN. Cue Shane Douglas to hit Rick with the cast but Rick is fine enough to miss a swing, setting up the Bookend to give Booker the title.

Rating: F. That’s entirely on Rick as Booker wasn’t even on offense for a minute in this whole thing. I don’t know what happened to Rick in the last few years but he has turned into the most selfish worker I’ve ever seen. Booker is one of the best of all time but you have to give him SOMETHING to work with other than a bunch of chinlocks and a beating.

Buff has been laid out and Lex accuses Animal.

We recap the Rhodes Family vs. Ric Flair/Jeff Jarrett. Dustin wouldn’t join the Magnificent Seven so Ric has gone after him. The only option was to bring in Dusty Rhodes because it’s not like there was anyone else they could have gone with here. It’s not like they could have gone with O’Haire, Palumbo, or any of the other young guys. No, they had to have a long feud with Lex Luger and Buff Bagwell remember. I mean, you get a nice nostalgia moment with Dusty and Ric but WCW needs to have people like Flair and Dustin giving what rubs they can to someone at this point, not being the focal points.

Jeff Jarrett/Ric Flair vs. Dustin Rhodes/Dusty Rhodes

Losers have to, shall we say, kiss up to the winners. Flair is wrestling in a Hawaiian shirt for reasons that aren’t quite clear. Actually Ric says he won’t wrestle, which results in Animal being ejected. Jeff jumps Dustin to start but gets punched in the corner several times. Dustin crotches him against the post with Tony saying “the Yellow Rose of Texas.” No real context to that one unless he’s changed Dustin into David Von Erich.

Flair comes in for some chops and it’s off to Dusty for some strutting. Dustin is back in but the Dust Buster is broken up to give the heels control again. Jeff does the sleeper and they go through the standard counter package. It’s time to work on Dustin’s knee but Flair get small packaged for two.

Jeff comes right back in and puts on the Figure Four. That goes nowhere as Dustin escapes and hits a belly to back for the tag to Dusty, who apparently is full of burritos and ready to go. Dusty drops the big elbow for two on Flair and it’s back to Dustin as everything breaks down. Double Figure Fours are broken up and Dustin rolls Flair up for the pin.

Rating: D. I’m not wild on Dustin and Jarrett as the young pups for this match but it was a one off match and fun enough match for what it was. The fans reacted to it and while they would have been better off giving someone young a rub here, it could have been much worse. Also the show needed something much more lighthearted after the string of lame matches that people didn’t want to see.

Ric bails so Jeff has to take a very weak Stinkface from Dusty.

We recap Scott Steiner vs. Diamond Dallas Page with the idea of Page being the last hero standing. Well save for Booker who came back after this match was made.

WCW World Title: Scott Steiner vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Page is challenging, anything goes, and this is falls count anywhere, which was announced less than three hours ago. Midajah is here with Steiner, making her attack on Monday seem a bit pointless. Steiner knocks him outside to start but Page comes back in with a top rope clothesline for two. The champ takes over on the floor and gets in some yelling at fans.

They fight over the Spanish announcers’ table (oh it’s so funny) with Scott breaking a kid’s crutch over Page’s back. The same kid throws Page his other crutch for a shot to Steiner’s back so Page can drive an elbow through a table for two. Back to ringside with Page hitting him in the head with a breakaway plate of some sort for another near fall. A t-bone suplex drops Page and it’s off to the bearhug.

Steiner puts his boot between Page’s shoulders and pulls back on the arms until a DDT plants the champ. Back up and Page gets the Diamond Cutter, only to have Rick Steiner pull out the referee. The bloody Page is put in the Recliner but makes sure to do the Austin in the Sharpshooter pose before reaching the ropes. Some shots to the ribs with a pipe set up another Recliner to knock Page out and retain the title.

Rating: C+. This was a match where they put too much stuff in at the end and it bogged the rest down. Page was as good as you would expect him to be as he’s one of two stable main eventers (the other being Booker T.) for months if not years now. The falls count anywhere stipulation didn’t need to happen but the bloody collapse near the end suited Page well. Shame they can’t follow up on it though.

A recap of the night’s events wrap up the show.

Overall Rating: C. I know the line is that the cruiserweights often carry a WCW show but I never remember it happening to this kind of an extreme. Main event aside, the cruiserweights were the only good things (save for a 54 second squash) on this entire show. The middle portion of this show was an absolute disaster and the best proof you’ll find of how understaffed WCW was around their final few shows. The Cat is treated as a big star, Booker T. gets squashed until he wins off a fluke, Ice Train is a conquering hero, and something about Dusty Rhodes eating burritos.

Now let’s talk about the good for a bit. That opening half hour with the two cruiserweight matches is as good a stretch as WCW has put on in a very, very long time. It’s fast paced, it’s high quality and it’s half of exactly what the show should have opened with. This is a standard problem with WCW: they load most of the exciting matches on the top of the show and then let things die throughout the middle. Swap Cat vs. Kanyon with the Cruiserweight Tag Team Title match and see how much better it feels, if nothing else due to having the titles seem more important.

No matter how you look at it though, that’s the final WCW pay per view and it’s still the same batch of problems that their shows had for a long time, mainly stemming from the talent near the top not being great. I know Dustin is still around today but that doesn’t mean he should be in the second biggest match on a pay per view. This show worked due to how hard the young guys worked but it was just far too little too late.

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Thunder
Date: March 14, 2001
Location: Knoxville Civic Coliseum, Knoxville, Tennessee
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay

The long nightmare is almost over as we only have two shows left, including this one. This is the final show before Greed and things aren’t exactly looking up. Monday’s show was full of old guys having bad matches and not enough build to anything other than Sunday’s main event. Let’s get to it.

Nitro montage.

Cruiserweight Tag Team Title Tournament Semifinals: 3 Count vs. Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman

The winners get Elix Skipper and Kid Romeo at Greed. Kidman and Moore start things off with a headscissors putting Kidman down. Moore misses a slingshot hilo though and it’s Rey getting two off a moonsault. Evan comes in and gets taken down with a springboard ankle scissors (or an ankle lock according to Tenay) but he plants Rey with a spinebuster for two.

The double teaming slows things down for a bit until Rey 619s around the ropes and tags in Kidman to speed things right back up. The villains get Kidman to the floor for a whip into the barricade followed by a suplex/high crossbody combo. It’s impressive when a team can do the high flying stuff and still be heels. Evan springboards into a dropkick to the ribs and the hot tag brings in Rey to clean house.

Karagias puts him down and a 450 gets two on Rey. Bottoms Up plants Kidman (illegal) for two with Mysterio making the save, followed by a Bronco Buster to Shannon. A middle rope seated senton (not Thesz Press Mike) drops Evan and Kidman dives onto everyone. Back in and Kidman holds Moore up in a wheelbarrow suplex for a springboard missile dropkick to give Rey the pin and the spot in the finals.

Rating: C+. Standard high flying tag match here but at least the ending was a unique move. They flew around for about ten minutes and popped the crowd to open the show and that’s really all you can ask for from the cruiserweights at this point. The downside to all this though: the tournament final won’t have any of the six cruiserweights who have broken their backs for months to get the cruiserweight tag matches over. Those matches were almost all for nothing, as is the case way too often in WCW.

Skipper and Romeo come out but are quickly dispatched.

Disco Inferno and Alex Wright are eating lunch with Disco stealing food off Alex’s plate. That’s enough for Wright and the team seems to be done.

Here’s Diamond Dallas Page to say he’s still standing and ready to take the title from Scott on Sunday. This brings out Dustin Rhodes, who says he’s here on Ric Flair’s orders. Cue Ric, Jeff Jarrett and Rick Steiner to the video screen to say Scott is off tonight (because who needs him to sell a pay per view on the go home show) and Cat/Booker T. are both gone. Therefore, the main event will be Paige/Dustin vs. Jeff/Rick, which we saw just a month ago. With the three of them on the screen, here are Rick and Jeff to attack Page and Dustin from behind. The heels are quickly cleared out.

Jason Jett vs. Alex Wright

Wright is ticked off and hammers away before getting two off a powerslam. Jett sends him into the corner and gets two of his own with an enziguri. A standing moonsault lets Jett show off even more but he misses a charge in the corner. Wright gets two of his own off a good looking spinwheel kick and a top rope superplex for the same.

Alex stays aggressive by knocking Jason outside with a forearm, only to have his suplex countered into a small package. Off to a modified abdominal stretch on the mat to keep Jason in trouble. Back up and Jason crotches him on the top before hitting a Tajiri handspring elbow. Jett’s release suplex slam (the Crash Landing) is enough for the upset pin.

Rating: C+. Jett had some potential and looked like a new star in the making but unfortunately time caught up with him. You would think he would have gotten some time in the WWF but for some reason it never went anywhere. At least someone like Wright is putting him over here so they were kind of trying.

We get some more from Buff’s “documentary” with Flair and Lex Luger wondering who attacked Midajah. Ric changes gears in a hurry and puts Buff, Luger, Palumbo and O’Haire in a four way elimination.

Video on Booker T. vs. Rick Steiner.

Here’s Shawn Stasiak for a match and he has Stacy with him. Before we get to his opponents, Stacy has to talk about how awesome Shawn is. Shawn on the other hand insults the fans for being fat and tattooed because he didn’t learn a thing on Monday. Cue Reno to say he’s bald and tattooed so let’s have a match.

Shawn Stasiak vs. Reno

Stasiak takes over to start which goes against the rules of a wrestler answering a challenge. A side slam and gutwrench suplex get two each for Shawn as we hear about Reno’s pit fighting career. Reno stops a charge in the corner and grabs a suplex for two of his own. They head outside with Stasiak taking over. I guess a pit isn’t as deadly as a padded section of floor next to the ring. A top rope clothesline gets two for Shawn and he quickly escapes a Roll of the Dice into a neckbreaker to put Reno away.

Rating: D-. So is there a reason why Stasiak got this push instead of Reno? Stacy couldn’t be into the bad guy with the ponytail and tattoos instead of the muscle guy? I’d love to hear that production meeting where this was the answer they decided on. Bad, bad match here as Stasiak continues to be horrible in the ring. He’s terrible on the mic too but one problem at a time.

Stacy dances to brighten things up a bit as Stasiak autographs a picture for Reno. Bam Bam Bigelow comes out to chase Stasiak off.

Chuck Palumbo vs. Sean O’Haire vs. Lex Luger vs. Buff Bagwell

Because we’ve seen these teams in singles matches so many times that this is the best we can get. Bagwell and Palumbo get things going which is arguably one of the best two combinations. Whatever keeps Luger out of the ring at this point. Just to show you how bad of an idea this is, we almost immediately cut to a shot of the crowd and come back to Buff on the mat, meaning someone botched the heck out of something.

Sean comes in and eats a jawbreaker so it’s off to Luger for an atomic drop, giving us another crowd shot. I know the match isn’t very good but they botched that badly twice in a row? Sean gets in a suplex on Luger and tags Buff in, which lasts all of no time as Luger hits Palumbo on the apron so Buff can tag out. A quick chop block brings Palumbo down and Buff grabs a rollup to get us down to a handicap match. Sean slams Luger for two with Lex’s foot on the rope but Palumbo shoves it off to make it a pin. So it’s one on one now and a quick clothesline into the Seanton Bomb puts Buff away in a hurry.

Rating: F. It’s never a good sign when you completely run out of ideas for a feud. It’s also not a good sign when you don’t have anyone else on the roster to feed into this match so the champs could have a quick squash etc. At least O’Haire got to look like the conquering hero as his push continues to seem like it could have gone somewhere if the company had stuck around.

Totally Buff gets chased to the back.

Disco tries to get Mike Sanders to team with him tonight. Sanders so no, until Flair comes up and asks Mike to go fix a toilet, because in WCW’s world the company fixes building issues. Mike decides to team with Disco instead, albeit after taking his time thinking about it.

Video on the Rhodes Family vs. Jarrett/Flair.

Flair tells Animal to go interrogate Page about Midajah’s attack. After Animal leaves, Flair accuses Animal of doing it.

Kwee Wee vs. Shane Helms

So Kwee Wee has gone from “I should be in the heel stable” to Sanders’ wacky partner to jobbing to the #1 contender to the Cruiserweight Title. Dang he’s on a roll. I mean it’s a roll down a hill but a roll is a roll. If nothing else there’s Shane’s really cool entrance. Unfortunately there’s also a shot that shows WAY too many empty seats.

They start slowly as the announcers keep referring to Kwee Wee as Kiwi. To be fair that would probably have extended his career. Kwee Wee slams him for two as you can tell they’re not exactly interested in trying tonight. Helms gets in an armdrag to send Kwee Wee to the floor for a baseball slide followed by a high crossbody.

Back in and another crossbody puts Kwee Wee down, followed by a northern lights suplex for two. The Vertebreaker is countered into a rollup for two and Kwee Wee goes back to the slam. He tries to go a bit too high though and a top rope legdrop only hits the mat, setting up the Vertebreaker to give Shane the pin.

Rating: C-. Shane is on a roll at this point and there’s no reason for him to not win the title on Sunday. Chavo has been great with the belt but Shane is clearly the top guy in the division at the moment. It’s a rare instance of a story being well put together to set up a big title change, which you almost never see around here.

We look back at the post match shenanigans from the four way.

Hugh Morrus/Konnan vs. Mike Sanders/Disco Inferno

I guess this is a warmup for Morrus/Konnan, who are described as locker room leaders. No wonder the company went under. The bad guys jump them from behind to take over but Disco stops to dance. Disco and Konnan fight on the floor (aftermath of that music video feud), leaving Morrus to clothesline Mike over the top. We settle back into a regular tag match with Sanders elbowing Morrus off the apron to keep Konnan in trouble.

Tenay actually brings up the Dungeon of Doom and Tony sounds stunned. A chinlock doesn’t get Sanders anywhere as Tony is still on the Dungeon reference. The hot tag brings in Morrus for running splashes in the corner and a Hart Attack with Konnan playing Bret (payback for teaching him the Sharpshooter perhaps). Konnan grabs a Last Dance (Stunner) on Disco to set up the No Laughing Matter and the Tequila Sunrise.

Rating: D. For Dungeon of Doom, the highlight of the match. I got a good chuckle out of hearing Konnan and Morrus as the locker room leaders but there’s nothing wrong with throwing them together for the sake of having another midcard team. It’s not like either of them had anything to do in the first place.

Team Canada attacks post match.

Buff Bagwell finds Animal laid out with the words IT WASN’T HIM and an arrow over his unconscious body.

Video on Scott Steiner vs. Diamond Dallas Page.

Diamond Dallas Page/Dustin Rhodes vs. Jeff Jarrett/Rick Steiner

All four get their own entrances to further illustrate how this is just two singles matches at the same time. The bad guys are cleared out in an opening brawl until it’s Page and Steiner to start. Rick has already sold enough before the match so he blasts Page with a Steinerline to take over and already hands it off to Jeff. That goes nowhere so it’s time for more Steiner because he’s the veteran here and therefore needs to get the ring time.

Rick and Jeff take turns beating on Page until a jawbreaker staggers Rick enough for the hot tag to Dustin…..which the referee doesn’t see. The hot tag works a few seconds later and Rick accidentally Steinerlines the referee. Steiner powerslams Dustin and here’s Ric Flair to count the cover with Page making the save. In the melee, Jeff guitars Dustin for the pin.

Rating: D. This was your run of the mill filler match to close out a taping with the audience completely not interested. To be fair though, how interested can you be in something like this? It’s a boring match with the #1 contender having no reason to be in the match other than “Booker isn’t here”. It’s fitting that the final Thunders end with main events like this one: the big stars are in the building but they don’t feel like working this show.

A bunch of people come out for the NWO style brawl. Page escapes to say he’s still standing to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. If you couldn’t tell before, this show has turned over and died. It’s very clear that they don’t care anymore and nothing is going to change that in the last few weeks. The big stars not being here (Save for Booker who had a storyline excuse. I mean, it was a completely unnecessary storyline excuse but it’s better than nothing.) is ridiculous, but then you realize that aside from Booker and Scott Steiner, the biggest names probably are the Cat, Page and Rick Steiner. I don’t think I need to offer much more of an explanation as to why WCW wasn’t around much longer after that.

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Monday Nitro #281
Date: March 12, 2001
Location: Knoxville Civic Coliseum, Knoxville, Tennessee
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson

It’s Greed week and that means we’ll likely hear more about Dusty Rhodes and his rather unfunny stipulation for Sunday’s tag match. Other than that it’s time for the final push towards the pay per view, which hopefully means more of the pretty good Scott Steiner vs. Diamond Dallas Page feud. Let’s get to it.

We open with the new Mr. Electricity Jeff Jarrett coming out for a chat but Dustin Rhodes sneaks up on him and we’re off in a hurry. Jeff comes back with some right hands of his own but stops to yell at some fans. Speaking of the fans, this is a really oddly designed arena as it has the lower level of seats, then what looks like an eight foot high black wall around the arena and then the upper levels. Dustin comes back with ten punches in the corner and then the Dustbuster (Shattered Dreams) to put Jeff down.

A security camera shows most of the Magnificent Seven arriving. Buff Bagwell has a camcorder to really hammer home the NWO overtones.

After a break we see Buff filming a documentary on the team, which Flair keeps calling the elite. Ric brags about the team and talks about how he’s been waiting for this moment for twenty years. He goes on about how awesome his career was and how he’s learned to be the greatest at everything he does. This turns into a speech about how much better he is than Hogan, Savage and Piper because he’s still here. The screen starts messing up as we hear about Scott Steiner’s hit list. Jarrett comes in to complain about them not having his back. The team tries to calm him down but Ric has a plan.

We look back at Dustin beating Jarrett down, all those minutes ago.

The announcers make sure to point out that Midajah is back with the Magnificent Seven.

Now we look back at Kanyon overturning M.I. Smooth’s limo.

The new owners might be at ringside tonight.

Recap of the first round of the Cruiserweight Tag Team Title tournament.

Tony tells us something has happened in the back and spends the next fifteen seconds asking if we have the video.

Midajah has been laid out. I really hope this becomes something soon enough as otherwise that would be yet another name brought back while people like Crowbar are rapidly released as cost cutting measures.

Cruiserweight Tag Team Title Tournament Semifinals: Jung Dragons vs. Elix Skipper/Kid Romeo

The Dragons get jumped to start with Skipper using the Matrix to avoid a cross body. That always looks cool. A springboard enziguri drops Romeo but it’s way too early for Yang Time. Instead Yang dives onto Romeo and Skipper with Kaz doing the exact same thing. Elix comes in and throws Kaz with a double underhook suplex.

A spinwheel kick to the hands puts Skipper down as that black wall is really getting distracting. Until the camera pans back you can’t see more than about four rows. Everything breaks down and a Liger Bomb into a neckbreaker gets two on Yang. Romeo’s Last Kiss (Snow Plow) gets the same, followed by Yang and Elix falling out to the floor. Back in and Yang Time misses, setting up the Play of the Day to send Romeo and Skipper to the finals.

Rating: C+. This didn’t last long enough to get sloppy and everyone flew around to make the match entertaining enough. Romeo really doesn’t seem like the big deal WCW thinks he is but putting him straight into a title picture like this is one of the best things they could do for him this early.

The Magnificent Seven blames each other for Midajah’s attack. Scott wants to see Buff’s video.

Lance Storm/Mike Awesome vs. Mamalukes

It’s a big brawl to start and they’re quickly on the floor with the Canadians taking over. Things settle down with Johnny dropkicking Storm out of the air and handing it off to Vito for some bad looking right hands. Storm comes back in with a springboard missile dropkick, followed by the Awesome Bomb for the pin.

Johnny gets beaten down until Hugh Morrus and Konnan make the save.

Here’s Stacy Keibler pushing a baby carriage. PLEASE don’t let this mean David Flair is coming out next. Her baby has taught her to be happy in her life and nothing makes her happier than her man: Shawn Stasiak. Well…..it’s better than David. I think. Stasiak poses while Stacy takes off her long gray dress to reveal little black one, meaning it’s time to dance. They pull out the baby and it’s a bunch of pictures of Stasiak. Shawn: “He looks just like me.” Stasiak insults the fans for being tattooed losers so here’s Bam Bam Bigelow to interrupt. Bigelow challenges him to a match on Sunday as Stasiak bails.

The Magnificent Seven look at the footage. The tape shows all the guys leaving for some reason and a hand moving the camera before Midajah screams. Scott is furious.

Here’s Booker T. with something to say. Booker has had a great time since getting back but the Magnificent Seven has been getting on his nerves. He wants one of them out here right now for a fight. This brings out Scott Steiner to answer on behalf of someone but he’s cut off by Diamond Dallas Page. Scott doesn’t want to hear it and says if Page interferes in this match, he loses his title shot on Sunday.

Booker T. vs. Lex Luger

Luger runs in through the crowd and attacks without a bell ringing. Such villany. There’s a torture rack as the referee comes in to call for the bell. That would be the OPENING bell though and Luger hasn’t won yet. Luger charges into a boot in the corner and a side slam gets two for Booker. They head outside with Luger whipping him into the barricade before getting two off a slam. A suplex keeps Luger’s offense at its high level and we hit a bow and arrow with Luger’s knee in Booker’s back. Booker fights up and grabs a rollup out of the corner for two, followed by the normal kicks. The Bookend gives Booker the clean pin.

Rating: D. Booker was trying here but when your opponent’s big move is a suplex, you’re kind of limited in what you can get out of a match. Luger is just so worthless right now and he can’t retire soon enough. At least he’s been putting people over lately, albeit years later than he should have been.

Post match Rick Steiner comes in for the beatdown, only to have the Cat make the save. That save is cut off by Kanyon and the good guys are beaten down until Page makes the real save with a chair. The post match stuff was more interesting than the match.

Evan Karagias vs. Shane Helms

Shane’s big entrance is still cool. They trade forearms to start until Helms counters a hurricanrana into a sitout powerbomb for the first two count. Evan is right back up and missing a top rope Lionsault, only to come back with a suplex for no cover. A good looking Sugar Smack gets two for Shane but Evan hits him with a DDT and a top rope corkscrew splash for two of his own. A quick Nightmare on Helm Street sets up the Vertebreaker to give Shane the pin.

Rating: C+. Fine match but it was “you do a spot, I do a spot” until the Vertebreaker ended it. To be fair though that’s part of the problem with having the same guys fight each other so many times. You’re going to run out of stories to tell and eventually it becomes just an exchange of moves instead of a flowing match.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. comes in to plant Shane with a brainbuster post match.

Smooth punches out Disco and takes his match with Kanyon.

We recap the Rhodes Family vs. Flair/Jarrett match.

Last week Dusty and Dustin talked about the match with Dusty clearly having no idea what to say. The difference though is he can keep going long enough until he finds a coherent thought and get to the point. For instance he starts babbling about how they’re going to Greed on Sunday but can’t connect that immediately.

He says things like “well let me tell you” and “the point is” until he eventually says greed is about money, which Jarrett and Flair have enough of so it’s time to take them down. It took a long time to get there but it made enough sense which sounds better than having someone write some stupid line for him. You can see that he’s thinking through it the entire time and can see the process as he goes.

Flair and Jarrett say they’ll win.

Kanyon vs. M.I. Smooth

Smooth is suddenly limping and barely able to walk after punching out Disco with ease earlier. Kanyon drops him with a single shot and this doesn’t seem to be a match. Tony: “We may see the end of a man’s career here.” Kanyon is going to beat him so badly he can’t drive anymore? The beating continues for a bit until Kanyon goes to leave but Smooth gets to his feet and says bring it. Kanyon blasts him in the head with a chair twice in a row so Smooth crawls over to him so it’s two more chairs to the head. Smooth STILL WON’T STAY DOWN so Kanyon finally leaves.

That’s one of the dumbest segments I’ve seen in a long time. So there was no match in the first place (fine) but four hard chair shots to the head can’t put this guy down? Screw Diamond Dallas Page getting the shot. Apparently the answer to conquering Scott Steiner is to put Smooth the Limo Driver in the title match instead. What does this accomplish though?

Kanyon vs. Cat is the match at Greed and there’s no reason to believe that Smooth will be involved so what did this change? Kanyon is a villain? We already know that. Was it to give Smooth a rub? Why not give it to a regular wrestler? Nothing was improved here and that’s one of the many problems WCW has had over the years: wasting segments on people who don’t need them. Oh and again: Crowbar was a cost cutting measure but Smooth can keep a job.

Rick Steiner vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Non-title but first of all we need Scott Steiner to call Page stupid several times. Then he talks about the Earth rotating on a 51 degree angle, meaning the sun will be on his right and the dark side of the moon on his left while he eclipses Page. I could listen to the inside of Steiner’s mind for days.

We’re ready to go after a break with Page sprinting to the ring and clotheslining Rick down. Another clothesline puts him on the floor and Page hits a much better looking plancha than someone his age should be able to hit. Back in and Page gets crotched as they’re flying through this match. That pace abruptly stops when Steiner takes over and sends Page into the barricade. A belly to belly gets two on Page but he crotches Rick against the post.

Page hits the Diamond Cutter but Steiner lands on his knees (kind of), which is more than enough justification for him to cover Page and completely no sell the #1 contender’s finisher. I think he was supposed to hold onto the ropes and send Page to the mat in a crash and it was just too much effort for Rick to put in. Instead Rick gets two off a bulldog as Scott Hudson runs to the back to cover some breaking story. The Steiner Driver is countered into the Diamond Cutter (sold this time) but Animal comes in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This is a great example of one guy not being able to carry a match. Page was trying to have a good match but Steiner was just there, doing his normal stuff and barking without even being able to get the Diamond Cutter spot right. It gets really annoying watching people like Rick (or Luger earlier) clinging to these spots because of their names and absolutely nothing more.

The Seven run in but we cut to the back to see Cat and Booker T. on stretchers. Back in the arena, Page is destroyed with a pipe shot to the back and the Recliner to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. For a regular show this was passable but for a go home show for a pay per view, this was just a step above a disaster. The only major story that got any real focus was Page vs. Scott Steiner. Booker and Rick only interacted in a big post match brawl, the Tag Team Champions didn’t even appear, Smooth isn’t in a match on Sunday, the cruiserweight stuff was its usual filler material and Team Canada vs. the Mamalukes was just there. It also doesn’t help that the last scene is Page getting beaten down by Steiner, which doesn’t exactly fill me with hope heading into the title match.

This show was a mess with the usual bad matches from people on top but it was made even worse by the lack of storylines being played out. The new owners showing up was mentioned once and then forgotten, Midjah’s attacker was teased for the first half of the show and then forgotten and then there’s Stacy and Stasiak which is best left forgotten. For all the good things WCW has going on at times, there are so many more things dragging it right back down.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Thunder
Date: March 7, 2001
Location: Bi-Lo Center, Greenville, South Carolina
Commentators: Tony Schaivone, Mike Tenay

The roll that WCW was on just a few weeks ago seems forever ago as they’re right back to the mostly uninteresting shows that aren’t getting anyone anywhere. Well save for the Steiner Brothers and the other old acts that is. They’re getting closer to Greed and the card isn’t looking great so far and I doubt that changes tonight. Let’s get to it.

We get some post show footage from Nitro with Scott Steiner beating down Diamond Dallas Page.

Cruiserweight Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Scotty O./Jason B. vs. 3 Count

Jason will become better known as Jason Jett in the next few weeks. Evan takes over on Jason to start and knocks him into the corner without much effort. A Tajiri handspring elbow drops Evan so it’s off to Moore for a headscissors. O and B double hiptoss Shannon before Scotty hits a springboard cross body for two.

Evan comes right back in with a powerslam to take over again and a big old dive to the floor takes Scotty down again. Shannon dives onto Jason so Scotty Asai moonsaults down onto everyone. Back in and Bottoms Up gets two on Scotty and Evan’s 450 gets the same with Jason making the save. 3 Count finally gets it together with a wheelbarrow slam and top rope Bottoms Up combo for the pin on Scotty to finally set up the second round.

Rating: C+. This was as good as two unknowns against a recently reformed team was going to be. I like the idea of adding in people to the division and they have to start somewhere. 3 Count is fine for a name team in this tournament though I can’t picture them getting the belts in the end.

Scott Steiner wants the Cat.

After a break here’s Scott to the ring with something to say. Scott is ready for the title defense at Greed where he’ll add Diamond Dallas Page to the list of people he’s hurt. That brings him to Nitro, where the Cat prevented Scott from finishing Page. That’s why tonight, Scott is giving Cat a chance to fight. Cat comes out and agrees, leading to some trash talk. Page comes out to have Cat’s back but here’s Rick Steiner to jump Dallas, only to have Hugh Morrus cut Rick off.

Shawn Stasiak vs. Norman Smiley

This takes a bit to get started as Shawn is busy signing autographs on the way to the ring. Norman isn’t interested as he kicks one of them away and grabs a sunset flip for an early near fall. It’s not enough to set up the Norman’s Conquest either so Shawn grabs a backbreaker.

We head outside as Tony lets us know that Shawn wants to be called the Mecca of Manhood. The beating slowly continues until Shawn dives into a boot back inside. A few atomic drops are about all Norman can do, save for the Big Wiggle of course. Stasiak comes right back with a neckbreaker and something like a chokeslam/spinebuster for the quick pin.

Rating: D. That would be it for Smiley unfortunately as he just ever had a chance outside of the hardcore stuff. On the other hand, Shawn Stasiak will be a regular for the next few weeks and had a more successful WCW career than Smiley, mainly due to his look and family connections. That’s wrestling for you, no matter how boring it can be for the fans as a result.

Post match Stasiak imitates Rick Rude and can’t even do that right.

Kanyon yells at Smooth the Limo Driver for messing up whatever he had planned with Miss Jones on Monday. Smooth gets out of an armbar of all things and gets in his limo….which is promptly flipped over by a forklift.

Elix Skipper vs. Shane Helms

They actually start with a wrestling sequence before Shane grabs a neckbreaker to take over. For really no logical reason, they head outside and fight into the crowd. Why are people with no personal issue fighting into the crowd like two people who hate each other? Just because you can do something like that doesn’t mean it’s the right idea.

Back in and Helms takes over with a backbreaker before tying Skipper in the ropes for a guillotine legdrop. Skipper comes right back with a pair of belly to belly suplexes (the Steiner madness is spreading) and a good looking missile dropkick. They trade some suplexes before Helms kicks him in the face and grabs the Nightmare on Helm Street and the Vertebreaker for the pin.

Rating: C. For some reason they went with a wrestling match here instead of the high flying showcase that these two should have had. They’re doing a really good job of setting up Helms as the next big thing in the division and that should be a good thing, though Skipper could have been more than he is at the moment.

Post match Kid Romeo runs out but Kidman and Mysterio make the save to set up a tournament match.

Rick Steiner vs. Hugh Morrus

Non-title. Steiner hides behind the referee so he can kick Morrus low. A lot of stalling sets up an elbow drop for two before going outside to yell at the fans. As much as I get on him for all his faults, Rick knows how to be really mean to a crowd. Steiner very slowly works the leg though, negating that whole thing with the crowd.

More crowd taunting (with Rick going to the floor again because he’s a professional) is followed by a DDT for two. Morrus finally comes back with some right hands and a clothesline but here’s Team Canada to make sure Rick is safe. Storm offers a distraction to the referee (who wouldn’t call a DQ anyway) and it’s the Steiner Driver to put Morrus away.

Rating: D-. Another night with Steiner going over someone else who would have been a better choice for the title (not a much better choice but a better choice). It also doesn’t help that Rick squashes almost everyone he faces with the victims getting in almost no offense. Even Scott is letting his opponents get in significant offense on him.

Konnan saves Morrus from the Team Canada beatdown.

Here’s Lex Luger to say he wants to spank Chuck Palumbo to make up for what happened on Monday.

Chuck Palumbo vs. Lex Luger

Palumbo starts fast but walks into a jawbreaker. It’s time to work Chuck’s back already so hopefully this won’t last long. A trip to the floor lets Luger whip him into the barricade before hitting the forearm back inside. The powerslam doesn’t even warrant a cover though as you can see Luger deteriorate every second. The Torture Rack is broken up and Palumbo grabs a rollup for the fast pin. Luger doing all these jobs scares me going into the pay per view.

Post break Luger is furious.

Konnan rants about being held back.

Long video on Greed.

Konnan vs. Lance Storm

Ever the nice guy, Konnan jumps Storm during O Canada and grabs a reverse DDT. A trip to the floor gives us even more mindless brawling, which really isn’t Storm’s forte. Back in and Storm drops some knees to the spine as this is more his style. Konnan gets a boot up to knock Storm out of the air though and it’s time for the rolling clothesline to start the usual. The Tequila Sunrise is broken up and the Mapleleaf ends Konnan in a hurry.

Rating: D+. This could have been worse and it’s good to see Storm win. Konnan wasn’t much for the last few years but he’s actually been better in the last month or two. Storm is still the same guy he’s been for a long time: talented in the ring but stuck on a hamster wheel because it’s almost impossible to be elevated around here.

Morrus saves Konnan from the beatdown. Post break we get a challenge for a tag match at Greed.

Booker T. is ready to go through Rick to get to Scott.

Scott Steiner vs. The Cat

Non-title. Scott pounds him into the corner to start but can’t hit an early Snake Eyes. Instead it’s a belly to belly for no cover and a clothesline with Cat falling down before contact was made. It’s already time for a chair to Cat’s arm and a backbreaker sets up some posing. Cat finally gets an elbow up in the corner and a kick to the face allows Cat to choke. It’s smarter than covering in vain I guess. More kicks only get Cat so far as it’s a second belly to belly to cut him off. Cue Rick Steiner but Booker cuts him off, leaving Scott to put on the Recliner to win.

Rating: D-. Standard Cat match here: he can’t get out of a big match to save his life and has no business being in spots like this. Thankfully Booker came back when he did or we might have been looking at Cat as the next World Title challenger. This was as bad as you would expect and that was all it could hope to be.

Page comes in for the brawl with the Steiners taking over to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Unfortunately that’s as high as I can go and it’s being fairly generous. This show just has the same boring stuff over and over with Tenay saying there’s unity in the locker room to go against the Magnificent Seven. The story had some fire to start but it really has no legs to stand on already and it’s getting less interesting every single week.

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