Monday Nitro #200
Date: August 9, 1999
Location: Idaho Center, Boise, Idaho
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

We’re at a milestone show here and there’s a pretty well known main event. At the moment we have the battle of the old guys with feuds ranging from Kevin Nash vs. Hollywood Hogan, Rick Steiner vs. Goldberg and Sting vs. Sid Vicious. That sounds like a reason to mix those guys up in a big match. Oh and we have country music with Chad Brock. Yeah I don’t remember him either. This is also the go home show for Road Wild. Let’s get to it.

Quick recap of the end of last week’s show.

Tony is back on commentary with no reason given for his absence. He does however have an announcement: Dusty Rhodes is now head of the WCW Championship Committee. Wasn’t he last seen as part of the NWO?

Norman Smiley/Lash Leroux/Prince Iaukea vs. Vampiro/Insane Clown Posse

Uh…yay. Raven is in the corner and has officially named the team the Dead Pool. Do they like chimichangas? Vampiro and Lash get things going with some chops back and forth. Tony is back to his old standard by randomly talking about Nash vs. Hogan. Off to the Prince for his selection of right hands but Vampiro hits a kind of throwing powerbomb. You would think Norman or Lash would have done something given that he powerbombed Iaukea out of their corner, but my guess is they’re trying to figure out why the Insane Clown Posse is wrestling a match in Idaho.

Violent J. (called Jack Jeckyl by Tony. To be fair that’s what it says on his jersey) hits a decent suplex before playing Neidhart to Vampiro’s Hart in a Hart Attack. Shaggy comes in for a bad looking DDT but Prince sweeps the legs to take over. To make things worse, Shaggy’s shorts are falling down. Norman tries to come in to help Iaukea but it just allows Vampiro to hit him low.

J. drops a leg to the chest but hurts his head with a headbutt to the Prince. At least he knows his stereotypes. They head outside with Vampiro throwing Iaukea into the steps. Back in and Shaggy misses a guillotine legdrop, allowing the hot tag to Norman. A big old spinning slam drops Shaggy and everything breaks down. The fans are actually WAY into this one. Vampiro suplexes Lash down and J. adds a moonsault for the pin.

Rating: C-. The Clowns are an interesting case as they actually have some training so it’s WAY better than when celebrities have matches on Raw, but I’d still be hard pressed to call them good. They can do some very basic stuff like suplexes and the moonsault was acceptable, but they’d be lost trying to do more than a four minute match without people there to help them. Case in point, this match worked for the most part because the Clowns weren’t in a good chunk of it and the wrestlers carried it. The crowd helped a lot too as they were into the match, but the wrestling was nothing great.

Nitro Girls.

The Revolution is in the back with Dusty and ask him when things are going to change around here. Dusty says in due time but gets cut off by David Flair and Torrie Wilson. Dusty is called an old man so Benoit slaps the Crossface on David. Apparently the way to make things change is through violence because that earned Benoit a US Title shot. It’s about time someone realized David and his dad had no authority anymore and they could get the US Title off of him in about 10 seconds.

Curt Hennig/Barry Windham vs. Public Enemy

The Rednecks have a new song called Good Old Boys, which is nowhere near as catchy. Tony starts talking about Chad Brock and actually gives us a reason for him to be here: he used to train at the Power Plant and actually was in an eight man tag on Saturday Night back in 1996. That still doesn’t make me want to see him but WCW never really cared what fans thought. Hennig throws Rocco around the ring to start but eats a boot in the corner.

Off to Grunge who has the same luck as Hennig when Windham blasts him with a lariat. Kendall actually does something by tripping up Grunge to keep the Rednecks in control. We hear about Brock even more as Johnny and Curt double clothesline each other. It’s a double tag as Public Enemy takes over with their usual brawling before a flip dive puts Barry through the table. Not that it matters though as Curt nails Grunge with the cowbell for the pin.

Rating: D. The Rednecks seem to be in decline as there isn’t much for them to do anymore. If the best they can come up with is having Curt feud with the country singer coming in to perform, they need to just disband the team now or let Hennig and Windham be a regular tag team. It was a fun idea while it lasted but there’s nothing for the team to do right now.

Little Jeanie vs. Mona

Tony tries to tell us how easy it is to order a WCW PPV as this is sounding more and more desperate every week. Jeanie never did anything that I can find. Apparently Mona was a powerlifter in her younger days, which isn’t something you would expect out of someone her size. They hit the mat to start and trade some hammerlocks and armbars. Jeanie isn’t half bad out there and takes a decent monkey flip to send her outside.

The match stalls for a bit as they trade places, only to have Jeanie choke a bit on the way back in. Mona gets two off a sunset flip and the fans give her a good reaction. Granted it likely has something to do with the short skirt flipping over but a pop is better than nothing. Back up and a dropkick to the head sends Jeanie into the corner. For a sweet ending, Mona puts on an Indian deathlock but grabs Jeanie’s shoulders and rolls her over, bridging the legs into the air for a pin.

Rating: C+. Shockingly good match here and I’m surprised Jeanie never did anything else. She needed some work but with more experience and some polish she could have been something decent. Mona of course would have her success in the near future and it’s easy to see why off this match. This was a big, nice surprise.

Brandi Alexander, a chick that Mona beat up before, comes in but takes a clothesline from Mona.

Video on Hogan vs. Nash.

Hogan is in the back when his son Nick comes in. Hogan is in the NWO gear and Nick wants to know why his dad didn’t wear the red and yellow that Nick packed for him. We hear a noise though and Hulk runs out of the room, only to get laid out by Nash, Sid and Steiner. They beat him out to the ring but Sting and Goldberg make a quick save.

This is apparently enough for Hogan to put his career on the line on Saturday and makes a challenge for a six man tag. Nash says it’s on, but Sting wants Nash’s career on the line too. That’s cool as well, but Goldberg tops them all. He says Steiner doesn’t have anything to put on the line at Road Wild so he’ll just have to beat Steiner up.

Is there any question why the title was retired soon after this? I mean good grief it’s one thing to not acknowledge that someone is a champion but to flat out say that the belt is worthless? The worst part: you know Goldberg never got any flack for that backstage. Why would he anyway? The title has been dying a brutal death since Steiner became champion and just brutalized everyone he’s fought in meaningless matches.

That belt could be used for people like the Revolution, Booker T., Bagwell, even Disco Inferno or Cat. But instead it’s being held by a guy no one cares about while Goldberg says the belt doesn’t matter. Stupid decisions like this are among the biggest reasons WCW went under: they didn’t care about anyone but the old guys and they think people care about guys like Rick Steiner because he was a big deal nine years ago. I really can’t get over that stupid line. I agree Goldberg is above the TV Title, but did he have to point out that it’s worthless in general?

US Title: David Flair vs. Chris Benoit

Maybe this can make me feel better. Heenan’s tongue is falling out of his mouth over Torrie’s outfit. Little Naitch is ejected as referee and Nick Patrick will be taking over. Isn’t he almost just as corrupt? Flair immediately bails to the floor and tries to leave, only to be thrown back in by Malenko and Saturn. Douglas was there too but he was too busy reminding us of how great he was in ECW to actually help.

David bails again but is surrounded on the floor. A snap suplex sends the champ flying and Benoit slaps him a few times. Benoit is just toying with him here. Kanyon tries to do a hilarious looking run in (the look on his face was priceless as he looked like he was trying to save a baby from a burning building) but gets stopped by Saturn, allowing Benoit to drop the Swan Dive for the pin and the title.

Rating: B. This is a hard one to grade as it’s clearly not about the wrestling but they did exactly what they were supposed to out there. Benoit FINALLY wins a singles title and gives David exactly what he deserves. Granted it’s about three months too late for it to have the impact they were going for but at least it finally happened.

Page comes in and Rock Bottoms Benoit but thankfully the Revolution runs in for the save before Page can ruin the moment. Benoit issues a challenge for Saturday in a No DQ match.

Nitro Girls.

Here’s Savage to reveal who is going to guard George on Saturday, who also drove the Hummer. Gene introduces George as being with him but Savage is alone. After a quick President plug, he promises to kill Rodman on Saturday. Gene gets to the point by asking about the Hummer driver…..and Savage ignores him. One more line about Saturday and we’re done. As I ask myself every week, why do I even bother watching Thunder if they’re going to tease stuff like this and then never follow up?

Chris Adams/Dave Taylor vs. Eddie Guerrero/Rey Mysterio Jr.

It’s Eddie and Taylor to get things going, but first they have to see who the fans are behind. The stalling continues as we’re nearly two minutes into the match with barely any contact. Taylor actually snaps off a headscissors and dropkick to send Eddie to the floor, drawing some solid booing. You would have thought Eddie would start that way but instead he headscissors Taylor down to take over.

Off to Rey, who is in an orange prison uniform because for some reason in the 90s, that was considered cool. Adams runs him over with a shoulder and a powerslam gets two. He misses a top rope splash though and Rey hits a Lionsault, on the same night that Chris Jericho was debuting on Monday Night Raw. Adams pops back up with that sweet superkick of his for two before catapulting him into the wrong corner.

Dave finally charges into a boot in the corner and the prison enthusiast rolls over for the hot tag to Eddie. Everything breaks down and Eddie dives through the ropes to take out Taylor. Adams is all alone, setting up a Mysterio top rope hurricanrana, followed by the Frog Splash for the pin.

Rating: C+. What is with this show tonight? They’ve been nailing the wrestling all night with everyone clicking in the ring. Mysterio and Guerrero being a good tag team isn’t a surprise given how much they’ve worked together in the past. Adams and Taylor were fine in this role as two guys that can work well with anyone. If this was what Nitro was like until a big main event, I’d have far fewer complaints.

Speaking of complaints, cue the Dead Pool to jump Mysterio and Guerrero, only to have Kidman make the save. Six man on Saturday it seems.

Gene brings out the Rednecks, who imply they were with the Dixie Chicks and Shania Twain last night. Apparently they were scheduled to perform Good Old Boys live but Chad Brock has replaced them. Seriously, this is the best thing they can come up with? Ignore the fact that the fans booed Brock’s name in general but cheered when Hennig promised to beat him up. Why do I have a feeling this was translated as “See??? THE FANS RESPONDED TO HIS NAME! MORE CELEBRITIES!”

Kidman vs. Disco Inferno

Over halfway through the show, Tony sends out get well wishes to Scott Hudson. Gee that’s nice of him. Did we ever get a reason why Tony was gone in the first place though? Kidman starts fast with a dropkick and the slingshot headscissors, potentially causing lethal hair damage. Disco pops back up and throws him over the top before grabbing a Russian legsweep back inside.

The chinlock is broken in about five seconds and Kidman nails a quick clothesline. Disco continues his hot pace (maybe he has a fever?) with a swinging neckbreaker and a hot (I’ve got something here!) shot for two. Kidman comes back with a Sky High, which is a move I really would like to see someone use as a finisher full time. And I mean someone that matters, not Titus O’Neil.

Kidman ducks his head though and eats the AWESOME jumping piledriver. I know he was a comedy guy but he always had one of the best piledrivers I’ve ever seen. It’s only good for two though so, in another recurring theme tonight, he tries it again, only to have Kidman faceplant him. The Shooting Star is ready but Vampiro runs in for the DQ.

Rating: C. Disco looked great here and continues to be one of the most underrated WCW guys in the ring. Vampiro coming in makes sense and keeps setting up their match on Saturday, though they could have spaced the matches out better on the card. By having them back to back, it runs the risk of overloading people on one feud, and you know there’s a big crowd to see wrestling clowns.

Vampiro plants Kidman with a super Nail in the Coffin. I’m not a Vampiro fan but that looked GREAT, especially Kidman’s head flying up after impact and falling back onto the mat. Disco actually tries to make the save but eats a superkick, drawing out Eddie and Rey for the real save. Disco offers Rey a handshake but Rey is a hugger, sending Disco running away in fear. If a small man in a prison uniform tried to hug me, I’d be a bit nervous too.

The announcers chat about Saturday’s main event.

Scott Norton vs. Buff Bagwell

Vicious runs Delicious over to start and shoulders him to the floor. A clothesline misses though and Buff hits some dropkicks (clearly inspired by his match with Riggs on Thursday) to knock Norton outside. Back in and Bagwell actually uses a dragon screw leg whip. Well that’s some psychology at least.

Norton shrugs it off though and hits his shoulder breaker as we see Cat putting on the red shoes up on the ramp. Bagwell fights out of a neck crank and a cross body actually works. Cue Cat to distract the referee so Onoo can nail Bagwell with the briefcase, giving Norton two. That’s enough to make Miller call his Mama, or come into the ring for a DQ. Ignore the lack of actual contact of course.

Rating: D. Well the good match streak had to die somewhere. This was about as bad as you would have expected as Bagwell just isn’t there in the ring. It makes sense that he was great as a tag guy because he can talk well enough to get on people’s nerves and then hit the Blockbuster for a good looking finish.

Speaking of the Blockbuster, Onoo takes one as Norton chases Cat to the back.

Now for the REAL main event in any event in the country (except whatever the Rosemont Horizon was called at this point because they’re smart enough not to have this nonsense over in that company), here’s…..A SINGER THAT DOESN’T EVEN GET AN INTRODUCTION! Yeah we come back from a break and the song is starting. You know those musical acts that are said to not need an introduction anywhere in the world but for some reason they’re introduced anyway? As in like Elvis, the Rolling Stones, Bruce Springsteen etc? Well apparently Chad Brock is important enough to not actually introduce whatsoever.

He sings, people don’t care, Hennig comes out and jaws with him, the Rednecks and the Revolution come out for a staredown, I’ll never got those seven minutes of my life back.

As if that’s not enough, KISS is coming in two weeks.

Nitro Girls. They haven’t been around as much lately. You know who has been though? Chad Brock.

Kanyon vs. Booker T.

For history’s sake, the Millennium Clock ended right about now. All respective partners are out here with them. It’s Booker in control to start with a back elbow to knock Kanyon to the floor so Stevie can get in some cheap shots of his own. He doesn’t have this whole face thing down yet.

Back in and Kanyon extinguishes half of the Heat with a knee to the ribs and we hit the chinlock. Booker fights up with the usual as they’re clearly flying through this. The barrage of kicks set up the 110^th Street Slam but Kanyon pulls the referee in front of a clothesline. The rest of the Triad stops Stevie, allowing Kanyon to nail Booker with the belt, setting up the Flatliner for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match went so fast that there was only so much they could do out there. I’ll let you make your own complaint about Brock taking up their time. This was little more than another way to set up the Tag Team Title match on Saturday, which is about all you can do for a match like that. I’ve seen worse though.

Here’s Rodman to Voodoo Child, so maybe we’ll find out who was driving the Hummer here. Rodman says that this Saturday, George is going to learn that she’s his BEEP. You mean the woman that Rodman, in theory the face in this feud, as in the guy that has kidnapped George and attacked from behind, kidnapped and may have raped? Savage runs out and Rodman, your hero and mine, runs away in fear.

Sting/Goldberg/Hollywood Hogan vs. Rick Steiner/Sid Vicious/Kevin Nash

Nash’s team comes out to the Wolfpack theme but Nash has a Black and White logo on his shirt. I’M SO CONFUSED! Remember that if Nash’s team loses, his career is on the line Saturday. Goldberg comes out to Crush Em, which I like but it doesn’t have the same impact as his old music.

Now we get the big, famous moment here though as Hogan returns to the red and yellow for the first time in over three years. Tony loses his mind as you would expect him to. To their credit, the fans go NUTS in one of the final legitimate shows of emotion you’ll ever find in WCW. I take no shame in admitting that it gave me a big smile too as I grew up a Hulkamaniac and he belongs in the red and yellow. Also, has there ever been a better three man face team in WCW?

Hogan and Steiner get things going and the worthless champion is shoved down. The big boot connects about a minute in and even Heenan is fired up to see Hogan. Some more right hands drop Steiner and the giants take punches of their own. Hogan beats up all three villains on his own and they take a breather on the floor. With Hogan dominating, the fans chant for Goldberg. You know, the guy in a match with someone that has nothing to put up on Saturday.

Goldberg gets the tag and the pop of the night as Nash comes in to face him. Nash hammers away but eats a superkick and suplex as the fans get even louder. You can see Hogan saying “Yeah they popped louder for me brother. I heard them chanting HO-GAN too.” Sid walks into a powerslam and it’s off to Sting, who seems almost out of his league for once. He lays Sid on the top rope for the Stinger Splash but the top rope version gets two to stop the crowd dead.

The referee gets in the way of Nash’s Snake Eyes as someone has exposed the buckle. That earns him a ref bump and Sting hits a pair of Stinger Splashes into the exposed buckle and a third into a more modest buckle. Steiner comes in with a chair but there’s the spear. Hogan takes the chair and cleans house, including knocking Nash willy. Another referee comes out to say Nash is out for the win, putting his career on the line Saturday.

Rating: B-. It’s a very fun match and Hogan coming back in the red and yellow is a big moment. We had a top level WCW face team against the three top heels (since Flair has disappeared) and the crowd went nuts. That brings me to my one big issue with the match: wouldn’t this have made more sense next week?

Next week’s main event would be Hogan vs. Sid for the title, so couldn’t they have swapped that to this week and had the six man after the PPV? With this, whatever they do on Saturday is going to feel like a letdown from this and you get Hogan putting on the red and yellow again after he defeats his “biggest challenge” (work with me here) thanks to the power of the Hulkamaniacs. This took away the drama because you know Hulk Hogan isn’t losing to Nash in this kind of a match. Still though, good moment and a really fun main event.

Overall Rating: B-. Easily the best Nitro in months, but this company is clearly running on borrowed time. The main event scene is dying for some fresh blood and putting Hogan in the old colors is only going to keep him going for so long. Benoit getting the title is a bright spot and at least a sign of hope, but I’m still stuck on that TV Title line. It’s going to take some time to get that back to credibility and Rick Steiner holding it isn’t going to help that. Midcard title problems aside, this show was solid action (mostly) in front of a red hot crowd. They still need to cut back to two hours, but not being horrible is a good start.

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Today we’re looking at the man who might have been the inspiration for Heath Slater: Dick Slater. That might not be inaccurate actually as they were both from the south/country, both guys were known for their punching (Slater was a Golden Gloves Champion) and….well they’re both named Slater.

Slater got started back in the early 1970s in Georgia. We’ll start things off in All Japan in 1981.

Dick Slater vs. Tiger Jeet Singh

Singh destroys a bunch of seats on the way to the ring so Slater throws a chair at him. He brings a chair inside but Tiger jumps him from behind and chokes with a scarf. Slater is pulled up against the post as the choke continues. The referee can’t break it up and for some reason it’s not a DQ yet. He finally lets go and the brawl is on with Slater in big trouble. Now Slater starts choking him with something as they head inside. Singh starts wrapping the leg around the post before throwing in a small table.

Dick takes it away though and hammers away in the corner before throwing Singh at the table. Back to the floor with Singh hitting him in the jaw with what appeared to be a bottle. They get back in to slug it out with Slater getting the better of it and dropping some elbows to the chest. He cranks on a spinning toe hold but Tiger’s manager Bobby Heenan throws a SWORD in. Singh nails Dick in the head a few times with the heel of the sword to finally throw the match out.

Rating: C-. Quite the wild brawl here with a freaking SWORD being used to end things. Singh is a guy I’ve heard a lot about and the few times I’ve seen him have impressed me well enough. This wasn’t much of a match but it was an entertaining enough brawl to carry things on.

It’s off to the States now with Slater at the first Starrcade.

Wahoo McDaniel/Mark Youngblood vs. Dick Slater/Bob Orton

Slater and Orton put Flair out with a broken neck and McDaniel and Youngblood are Flair’s friends, here for revenge. Youngblood and McDaniel are both Native Americans so they come to the ring in big headdresses. Before the bell Dusty Rhodes is introduced to the live crowd for no apparent reason. Wahoo and Slater start things off with McDaniel quickly throwing him over the top and out onto the apron.

Back in and Wahoo works on the arm before it’s off to Mark for some arm work of his own. We cut to an overhead camera view which is pretty disorienting. Slater is slammed down but comes back with a quick rollup for two. Mark puts on a hammerlock as we go back to the overhead view. Slater is kicked to the apron again but comes back in with a Russian legsweep for two. Orton comes in with a knee to the back and it’s Youngblood in trouble.

A gorilla press backbreaker has Youngblood down again but Bob misses an elbow. After a quick chase on the floor, Orton brings Slater back in after only a brief rest on the apron. Actually scratch that again as the tag doesn’t count for some reason. It’s very clear that the tag team formula hasn’t been invented yet. A crisscross results in a backbreaker to Youngblood and a tag off to Slater. There’s a gutwrench suplex for two on Mark and he falls to the floor for some stomping by Orton.

Youngblood breaks the count by a second but the punishment to the back continues with a reverse chinlock. Orton lets go on the hold and stomps him in the face for good measure. Slater comes in and breaks up a tag before suplexing Mark down for two. Back up and they bang heads, allowing for the hot tag to Wahoo. He cleans house with an atomic drop on Orton and a big chop for good measure.

Everything breaks down and it’s Wahoo getting double teamed for a change. A belly to back suplex gets several two counts for Dick before it’s back to Orton. Bob misses a headbutt and it’s off to Mark who speeds things up almost immediately. Wahoo is sent to the floor and Youngblood has to fight off both villains on his own. After a quick double beating, Orton hits Youngblood with the superplex for the pin.

Rating: C. Not a terrible match here but the majority of it was Slater and Orton toying with Youngblood and McDaniel which doesn’t make for very entertaining action. I’m not sure what sort of revenge this gets for Flair and it makes the Native Americans look pretty lame. Also this is the fourth straight loss for the good guys here.

And again at the second Starrcade in 1984.

Mid-Atlantic Title: Ron Bass vs. Dick Slater

This is the other fallout match from the attack on Steamboat as it was Bass helping and Slater who was tied up in the corner. Bass is defending and is also half of the Mid-Atlantic tag champions with Black Bart. Slater knocks Bass to the floor to start and it’s time to stand around. Slater chases Dillon into the ring and out to the floor as we’re still waiting on any significant contact.

Back in and Slater suckers Bass into the corner before putting on the move of the night with a headlock. Back up and we go right back into the headlock as we wouldn’t want this to get too exciting. Bass bails tot he floor but gets pulled back inside very quickly. Back in and Bass rams Slater into the buckle and caught in the ropes where Bass punches him back and forth like….something that pops right back up when it goes down.

Slater comes back with some right hands and a boot over the face. After Slater is sent to the floor, Bass pounds him down but Slater starts Hulking Up. It’s short lived though as during the comeback, Slater hits the referee. Dillon comes in and gets beaten up as well but after a slam and legdrop to Bass we get the DQ.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t as horrible as some of the other matches, but again this was nine minutes of punching and headlocks. That’s one of the major problems with this show: everything is so basic and low level that it’s almost impossible to get interested in anything. Also great job here of having Slater get revenge: by losing.

Off to the WWF with Slater at The Big Event in 1986.

Iron Mike Sharpe vs. Dick Slater

Oh yeah Slater is the rebel. No one cares. Sharpe is up there with Horowitz and Brawler in the jobbing hall of fame. Mike likes to talk a lot. The announcers talk about how great Sharpe is. Really? From what I’ve read he was completely OCD so having this many people in the audience must have driven him insane. There really isn’t much here as it’s really a glorified squash for Slater who would never mean much in national wrestling, at least not in this company. He was ok in other companies but he’s at his best in ring stuff here, which isn’t saying much at all.

Monsoon wants to know why Sharpe has had his arm in a cast kind of thing for over 8 years and Valiant just starts screaming at him that he should go out to dinner with Sharpe and ask him because Valiant doesn’t know. That came out of nowhere. Anyway, Slater hits an elbow from the top and jackknifes (it’s a king of rollup, not the powerbomb) him for the win.

Rating: D. Did we really need six minutes of these two guys? I certainly wouldn’t think so. This wasn’t interesting or particularly good but a jobber got beat up so there we are.

Slater was on Saturday Night’s Main Event VIII.

Don Muraco vs. Dick Slater

Slater, a southern mainstay, was the Rebel (meaning he wore Confederate attire) for a cup of coffee around this time. Muraco hammers away to start and grabs an airplane spin, only to have Slater slip down the back and hammer away. A top rope elbow to the head gets two with Fuji making the save. Fuji keeps cheating by tripping up Slater, setting up a clothesline from Muraco for the pin (with feet on the ropes). This was about it for Slater and it’s easy to see why.

Back to WCW at Clash VIII where Slater actually got a decent push.

Sting/Ric Flair vs. Great Muta/Dick Slater

Funk is nowhere in sight and Slater has an arm injury of his own coming in. Sting and Muta get us going with Sting avoiding some kicks to the face and taking Muta down with a clothesline. Muta bails to the floor for a meeting with Gary Hart as Ross is looking around for Funk. Back in and Sting armdrags Muta down but the Japanese villain takes him into the corner for some quick kicks to the ribs. Sting grabs the arm again and brings in Flair to a nice reaction.

Slater comes in and gets chopped in the corner before Flair kicks him onto the ropes. Ric runs Muta off the apron and goes up top for an elbow to the top of Slater’s head. Muta comes in without a tag and kicks Flair to the floor, following up with a big plancha. All four guys brawl on the floor until Flair and Sting get back in the ring for a breather. Back in with Flair chopping on Slater’s chest as Gary Hart is seen with the branding iron that hurt Funk’s arm.

Sting gets the tag and goes to work on Slater’s bad arm before it’s back to the Flair for the same. The heroes tag again and Sting gets two off a suplex. Back to Muta who walks into a gorilla press from Sting and a belly to back from Flair. Muta gets in a shot to Flair’s back followed by the handspring elbow to put the Nature Boy in trouble. Slater comes in with right hands and chops before ramming Flair face first into Muta’s feet.

Muta sends Ric to the floor where Slater hammers away before throwing him back in for kicks to the chest. Flair gets caught in a nerve hold but comes back with a suplex, allowing for the hot tag off to Sting. Everything breaks down and Muta takes a quick Stinger Splash to set up the Scorpion Deathlock but Gary Hart comes in with a roll of coins to knock Sting silly behind the referee’s back.

Muta can only get two off that though so he powerbombs Sting for another near fall. Back to Slater who catapults Sting’s throat into the bottom rope and stomps away. Sting gets sent to the floor and into the barricade for good measure. Slater tries a sleeper but Sting quickly jawbreaks his way to freedom. A backdrop is finally enough for the tag to Flair as everything breaks down again. Muta sprays yellow mist in Sting’s face and Slater comes in to hit Flair in the face with his cast, busting the world champion open and finally drawing the DQ.

Rating: B. This was a heck of a tag match with Flair and Sting working together due to a nice combination of power and technical abilities. Slater wasn’t the best replacement for Funk but there had to be a way to keep the tag match for the pay per view. The ending was there to keep the feud alive which is what TV is best used for at times.

We’ll jump ahead again to Worldwide on August 10, 1991.

Dick Slater/Dick Murdoch vs. Sting/Rick Steiner

Slater and Murdoch are the Hardliners and are doing a collectors’ agency gimmick. They’ve recently injured Scott Steiner so Sting is standing in to avenge his buddy. Rick and Slater get things going with Steiner going after the arm, just like the Hardliners did to Scott. It’s off to Sting to work on the arm some more with the good guys in full control.

Murdoch comes in to walk into an armdrag as well but he goes to Rick’s eyes to escape. Now the Hardliners start in on the arm as we’ve got a theme going here. Steiner backdrops Slater and makes the hot tag to Sting as everything breaks down. The Hardliners double team Sting so Rick brings in a chair to clean house for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This was mainly backstory and angle advancement as Rick was out for revenge for his brother. It’s not a very good match but at least it didn’t last long and had a logical ending that would keep things going in the feud. Believe it or not, the Hardliners never went anywhere.

As usual, Slater would stick to tag team matches, including at Clash of the Champions XX.

Dick Slater/Greg Valentine vs. Bobby Eaton/Arn Anderson

This is an odd match as everyone is a heel. Slater and Valentine have Larry Zbyszko (with a broken arm) in their corner. Arn and Valentine get things going but everything quickly breaks down with Anderson and Eaton being sent to the floor. Back in and Slater gets in a cheap shot from the apron to take Arn down and things start to break down again. Bobby gets caught in a swinging neckbreaker from Slater followed by a Russian legsweep for two.

Back to Anderson for a spinning arm lock on Dick but it’s quickly back to Valentine. Anderson and Eaton take him into the corner but Greg fights out with some chops. Valentine takes him into the corner with Arn being put down on the mat for a stomping. Eaton comes around the ring and jacks Slater’s jaw before breaking up Valentine’s Figure Four. Anderson scores with the spinebuster for two as everything breaks down again. Zbyszko accidentally hits Valentine with the cast, allowing Eaton to drop a middle rope Alabama Jam for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t bad but it’s some incredibly strange booking. The fans didn’t have anyone to cheer for in the match and the whole thing was kind of bizarre as a result. It’s not a terrible match but it’s a good explanation for why heels and faces need to be balanced out.

We’ll switch things up a bit at Clash of the Champions XXIII.

Ron Simmons vs. Dick Slater

Slater is a replacement for an injured Paul Orndorff, who was supposed to defend his newly won TV Title against Simmons tonight. Orndorff is at ringside and immediately draws Paula chants from the crowd. Simmons jumps Slater to start and hits a quick atomic drop to send Slater into the corner. A hard slam and shoulder give Ron a two count and Slater bails to the floor.

Slater comes back in for a test of strength and actually holds his own before breaking up a sunset flip. Ron loads up a three point shoulder block but Orndorff trips him up to give Dick control. Slater clotheslines him down and mistakenly thinks he gets the pin, allowing Simmons to get up and powerslam Dick for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match didn’t have time to get going and it was clear that they didn’t have a chance to set up anything important. This was just a placeholder until Simmons could get his hands on Orndorff for his title shot and everyone knew it. Slater wasn’t bad but he could have been any warm body for the match.

A few years later, Slater would hook up with Bunkhouse Buck to win the Tag Team Titles. Here’s one of their few defenses from Fall Brawl 1995.

WCW Tag Titles: Bunkhouse Buck/Dick Slater vs. Harlem Heat

The talented tag team is challenging here. The idea here is more about the managers though as apparently they like each other. The match is going to suck though. Oh and along with this, we only have Arn/Flair and War Games. We’re an hour and five minutes into the show. That simply can’t be a good sign. I also have issues with a guy names Dirty Dick. Also, they gave THESE TWO the tag titles after like 5 months of Heat vs. Nasty Boys?

I don’t like the Nasties, but they’re light years ahead of these morons. Booker and Slater start so at least the one good wrestler in the match is starting us off. Slater is one of those good old southern boys that allegedly was really talented but never shook either the southern stigma or the lack of talent to get over. Crowd is deader than Booker’s career at this point. Again I love how two hicks like this are supposed to be trained wrestlers.

There’s something amusing about that. Yeah the idea here is that Sherri has a bump on the head and isn’t herself. Somehow this was put on national TV as a mainstream wrestling company with angles like that. Wow indeed. Apparently Dick Slater is one of the best wrestlers in the history of the sport. I can barely laugh at how stupid that is.

On the floor the managers are playing this messed up cat and mouse game that is just rather creepy. The fans prove they’re still alive with a short and incomprehensible chant. It’s weird hearing them talk about Booker as a power guy. That’s most odd indeed. Heenan seems like he wants to talk about Buck being undressed. Ok then. The heels are controlling most of the match here.

You can tell the match itself is pretty awful as I’ve barely talked about it. I’m trying very hard to think of anything else to talk about so that I don’t have to actually pay attention. Fact: I used to have this tape and this match cured my insomnia over a summer. I didn’t sleep regularly for a month but this match put me to sleep in five minutes. That’s saying something. We talk about WarGames to kill some time.

This match needs to end BADLY. And trust me, since this is WCW< I’m sure that will mean both possible things. Stevie gets the I guess you could say hot tag to get the crowd to do nothing at all. And here is that finish as Parker and Sherri get into the other ring and kiss. At the same time the Nasty Boys are here and rip Slater’s boot off to smack him in the head with it to give the Heat the titles. While this is happening, Sherri and Parker are still kissing. I hate this show.

Rating: F+. This was just terrible. The ending sucked and the match was worse. Who thought that Buck and Slater were the best options? Seriously, the American Males were on the preshow. They’re not the best in the world by any stretch of the imagination but they’re better than Buck and Slater. It’s stuff like this that is freaking idiotic and gave WCW the bad name it had.

We’ll stick with the tag team theme as Slater entered the Lord of the Ring (Battlebowl) competition at Slamboree 1996.

Battlebowl First Round: Dick Slater/Bobby Eaton vs. Alex Wright/Disco Inferno

Yes they’re future tag champions but that wasn’t until later so that’s excusable. Oh look: people that are complete opposites of each other. WHO WOULD GUESS THAT??? Everyone in theory, as the same idea happened about four times in this show. At least Eaton is a good wrestler so that’s a perk.

You know, Disco Inferno is really impressive. To have a pure comedy gimmick and put together a fairly decent resume (Cruiserweight Champion, TV Champion, Tag Champion) is saying a lot about him. He made a horrible gimmick into something which says a lot about him. We talk about Flair and Savage for the most part here. When Disco Inferno gets the hot tag, you know we have a problem. Disco starts dancing and gets blasted in the head with a boot. Yep that’s it.

Rating: N/A. At least it was fast. Seriously, someone thought this was a good idea? Why? What kind of drugs were they on? I want some of them.

Battlebowl Round Two: Dick Slater/Bobby Eaton vs. VK Wallstreet/Jim Duggan

Duggan and Wallstreet start fighting before the match so of course the others go and break it up. My headache is now even worse. This is like some abortion of a comedy match and it’s just bad. Duggan randomly yells and he and Slater ram into each other and sell it like death. Duggan punches Wallstreet and Eaton rolls him up to make the finals. Thank goodness it’s over. I guess this was just building to the epic Duggan vs. Wallstreet showdown.

Rating: G. This was an insult to my intelligence as a human being. This might be the worst WCW show ever. And it’s not like you can make fun of it like Uncensored. This is just terrible.

Battlebowl

DDP, Barbarian, Dick Slater, Bobby Eaton, Rocco Rock, Johnny Grunge, Ice Train, Scott Norton

And yes, one of those guys gets a world title shot next month. Let that sink in for a bit. Just a regular battle royal here with the winner being Lord of the Ring. Almost immediately we see the problem here: there is no feuding at all. Think of any battle royal you’ve seen. You have people with feuds or angles or whatever to pair off and a lot of random fighting. Here it’s just the random fighting with 8 midcard guys.

Scratch that. You have DDP, two tag teams and three jobbers. DDP hits the floor but the referee misses it so he goes back in. We actually go split screen for a one ring battle royal. Wow. Rocco is out. Ice Train yells at the crowd. No one cares. Eaton is out and he punches the tar out of Parker. Nice shot. Slater is out too. I hate this show. Norton is out. DDP, Ice Train, Johnny Grunge and Barbarian are the final four.

Diamond Cutter to Barbarian. And to Ice Train. And to Grunge. Page pins Grunge…because you can do that. And he pins Ice Train. He gets two on Barbarian. Oh I hate this show. Diamond Dallas Page vs. Barbarian is the co-main event of a PPV. Barbarian hits a SICK tombstone on DDP. That looked as bad as the jumping one at Mania this past year. Oh look it’s a sleeper. The flying headbutt misses and a Diamond Cutter ends it. Wow that was uninteresting stuff.

Rating: F. The second biggest star was Barbarian. Let that sink in. I don’t need to say anything else. The title shot was revoked tomorrow night due to one foot hitting the floor, making this whole show entirely pointless. Apparently being gone about 2 months is now being on the shelf for six months. Wow.

We’ll wrap it up on Nitro, August 12, 1996 with Slater as half of Rough and Ready.

Dungeon of Doom vs. High Voltage/Rough & Ready

The Dungeon is Morrus/Sullivan/Faces of Fear. The other team is comprised of four guys that aren’t important enough to list off. Sullivan is in street clothes. Morrus starts vs. Kaos and High Voltage double teams him to take over. The Faces of Fear run over Rage (part of High Voltage) and this breaks down quickly. Very rarely in this are there only two people in the ring at once. Sullivan hits a running knee to Rage while he’s in the Tree of Woe and it breaks down again. Meng kicks Rage’s head off for the pin. This was just a squash.

Slater is a guy that needed the right circumstances to really make things work. He was out of his element at the end of his career and it showed really badly. By the time the 90s rolled around, he was really just a veteran that could work a watchable match. Back in the territory days though, the guy was a beast with one heck of a right hand. As usual, the 80s get it better than the 90s.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Nitro #198
Date: July 26, 1999
Location: Mid-South Coliseum, Memphis, Tennessee
Attendance: 7,201
Commentators: Scott Hudson, Bobby Heenan

We’re less than three weeks away from Road Wild and the top of the card is starting to come into focus. Nash took a very sharp heel turn last week, seemingly for no reason other than Hogan vs. Nash needed to be face vs. heel. On top of that, Thunder actually set some stuff up for tonight, such as Nash/a mystery partner vs. Hogan/whomever he can find, plus Hennig vs. Goldberg. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of last week’s major events, including Sting winning control back and Rodman attacking Savage.

Recap of Hennig challenging Goldberg from Thunder.

Video on Goldberg.

Gene brings out Hogan for an opening chat and brings up Nash’s challenge for the tag match tonight. Hogan doesn’t have a partner, but he does have the title. Cue Nash, Steiner and Sid to beat Hogan down until Sting makes the save.

Back from a break with a recap of what we just saw.

Psychosis/Juventud Guerrera vs.Kendall Windham/Bobby Duncum Jr.

Juvy wants to start and springboards in, only to dive into Bobby’s boot. The Rednecks take over to start with their slow Texas pummeling until Duncum charges into a boot to the face. A missile dropkick sends Bobby into the corner for the tag off to Kendall, who knocks Guerrera into the corner. Juvy doesn’t tag for some reason, allowing the Rednecks to beat him down even more. Bobby misses an elbow to the jaw and Juvy finally tags out.

It’s Psychosis in with some fast kicks to the face followed by a springboard missile dropkick from Guerrera. Kendall comes back with a hot shot and BIG lariat to take Psychosis down as the Rednecks regain control. Duncum gets two off a shoulder breaker, setting up a Windham belly to back superplex for two on Psychosis. An attempted tag to Juvy goes nowhere and a double bulldog is enough for the pin.

Rating: C. The ending here was kind of awkward but the luchadors put on a decent effort. This is the weaker half of the Rednecks and it’s getting a bit annoying to see the team out there getting cheered when we’re supposed to be booing them because WCW doesn’t understand its own fans. Nice little match though and that’s a step up for WCW.

Country singer Chad Brock will be performing live in two weeks.

Madusa and Miss Madness will be having a match at Road Wild but they can still insult Gorgeous George. Ignore the phone ringing during this segment.

Vampiro vs. Rey Mysteiro Jr.

Non-title because the Cruiserweight Title means nothing anymore. The Insane Clown Posse is in Vampiro’s corner because they think they’re wrestlers. Vampiro easily shoves Rey down to start and nails him with a clothesline. Rey finally gets up and dropkicks the knee out before a regular dropkick puts Vampiro on the floor. The Clowns have a quick meeting with Vampiro outside before he heads inside for a Rock Bottom to plant Mysterio again.

Rey ducks a spinwheel kick though and nails a Fameasser in the ropes. The Clowns offer a distraction though and the Nail in the Coffin knocks Rey silly. Vampiro goes up though, only to get crotched. We’re not done with the Clowns though, as Jay holds Vampiro’s legs to prevent a super hurricanrana, allowing Vampiro to powerbomb Rey off the ropes for the pin.

Rating: C. Again the match was fine and it’s nice to see someone new getting a bit of a push, even though it has to be thanks to the Clowns. That being said, this was a nice change of pace as the underdog good guy was fighting big odds and lost to cheating heels. That’s wrestling 101 and it’s going to work every time. Granted it helps that these wrestlers aren’t my grandparents’ age.

Eddie runs out to save Rey from a beatdown.

Vincent vs. Stevie Ray

Well you knew the good stuff wasn’t going to last forever. Vincent, with Horace in his corner, rips on Stevie for having a heart about his brother before jumping Ray on the way into the ring. Ray shrugs him off and nails a hard elbow to the face, setting up a Flair Flop. A powerslam puts Vincent down again but he comes back with a low blow, which is totally legal anymore in WCW. Horace tries to interfere but Ray whips Vincent into him to knock Sergeant Nepotism (David Flair would be the Captain of course). Ray loads up the Slap Jack as Booker comes out to cut off Adams. The Slap Jack (move) is enough to end Vincent.

Rating: D. If this is what it takes to finally end the NWO, I guess I can survive it. It’s still not a good match or anything, but at least they kept this under four minutes. Unfortunately it means we have to see Booker T. get dropped back into the tag team scene instead of moving up the card like he should be. Granted, that’s probably a good thing at this point.

Sting goes into Hogan’s dressing room.

Post match here’s President Sting to say that he’s made his first decision as boss: he’s going to be Hogan’s partner tonight. Hogan comes out and says he’s not Hollywood anymore and promises not to stab Sting in the back. Sting says that’s fine, but if Hogan does screw him, Sting will “getcha”.

Jason freaking Hervey joins the broadcast booth to make up for the bad taste Arliss left on him last week.

Prince Iaukea vs. Lash Leroux

Iaukea grabs a quick armdrag to take Lash down but slaps him in the face. Not that it matters as Savage and George come out to beat up both guys for the no contest less than a minute in.

Savage babbles about running for President until Madusa and the former Miss Madness come out to insult George. Madusa is on Savage’s side in this, but George is the real problem. In the distraction, Dennis Rodman sneaks in and kidnaps George.

KISS is coming.

Savage is looking for George.

Goldberg comes out, says he’s going to hurt Hennig, and that’s about it.

The Cat vs. Evan Karagias

Miller makes his usual offer as Hervey plugs some movie he’s in with DDP. Of course he doesn’t mention the name of the movie or when/where we can see it but he does mention it. Cat takes Evan down with a clothesline to start and we appear to be in squash mode, which makes me think there’s a swerve coming. Kicks abound, broken up by a dancing elbow from Miller.

A sunset flip doesn’t get Evan anywhere so Ernest dances and kicks him in the face. Evan comes back with a forearm and a nice springboard cross body. Cue Onoo for a distraction so Miller can get the shoes, but he finds bunny slippers instead of the ruby slippers. Bagwell pops up on stage with the red shoes, allowing Evan to get a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D+. Somehow this was tolerable as Miller is starting to get the hang of being a heel. He’s still nothing to see in the ring but at least he’s starting to find something other than just kicking all the time. This is a waste of Bagwell, but at least he might get a win out of the thing.

Mikey Whipwreck vs. Steven Regal

The announcers explain that Finlay has injured his leg in a hardcore match last night and may never wrestle again. During Regal’s entrance, a fan jumps the barricade but is quickly taken down by security. As you would expect, Regal takes it to the mat to start and easily rides Whipwreck. Back up and Mikey tries to quicken the pace with some armdrags and a headscissors, sending Regal over to the warm cuddling arms of Dave Taylor.

Regal gets back in and takes Whipwreck down again before cranking on the arm. That goes nowhere though because Hart’s First Family (about as over as anyone all night) comes out to say the Brits can get the Hardcore Trophy back at Road Wild. We get an Andy Kaufman reference, allowing Hervey to try to sound intelligent, making him all the ore annoying.

The distraction lets Whipwreck grab a quick rollup for two and a nice pinfall reversal sequence doesn’t get anyone anywhere. Regal drops a leg for two but gets rolled up for the same. Now it’s Mikey taking him into the corner for the top rope hurricanrana, only to have Taylor blast him with the Union Jack, setting up the Regal Stretch for the submission.

Rating: C. They’re actually bringing some decent wrestling tonight, perhaps due to letting talented people get a few minutes in there. The match wasn’t anything great, but it was nice to see some wrestling going on. You know, in between the various interference that this match just had to have. I’m still not quite sure why Mikey was hired, unless it was so that he couldn’t work for ECW.

Mike gets covered by the Union Jack.

Here are David Flair and Torrie for a chat. David does all his dad’s catchphrases (including saying to be IN the man) and has Torrie say he looks good. Short version of this is David will be champion as long as he wants.

Savage swears a lot and storms into Rodman’s trailer with the censor missing an F bomb.

Shane Douglas is here to help his friends and cut out the cancer called Ric Flair. I really don’t like it when you hear wrestling angles called cancer.

Goldberg vs. Curt Hennig

Hervey brags about having access to WCW clips and how great a job Goldberg does. Hudson: “I don’t think Goldberg does jobs at all!” I chuckled a bit. Anyway Goldberg throws Hennig around with ease and slams him out to the floor. The Rednecks offer a distraction so Hennig can nail Goldberg with a cowbell for no cover. Goldberg pops back up and powerslams Hennig down, drawing in the Rednecks to be quickly dispatched. Curt grabs a chair but backs down instead, giving Goldberg a DQ win due to the interference. They couldn’t have Hennig get pinned by GOLDBERG?

Goldberg spits on Hennig post match to draw him back in, only to knock Curt right back to the floor.

Video on Hogan vs. Nash, featuring a big backstory on the NWO. I’ll give them points for making it feel like a big deal, but making it face Hogan vs. heel Nash has really hurt my interest in the match.

Patty Stone Grinder vs. Madusa

Stone Grinder is former WWF Women’s Champion Lelani Kai as a biker. Hervey spends the entrances bragging about being a network actor, making him better than Arliss. Patty jumps Madusa as she gets in the ring and chokes her with a chain. Some bad looking knees have Madusa in trouble as Hudson runs down upcoming Nitro dates. Patty drops her with a butterfly suplex but Madusa comes back with a clothesline to knock Grinder to the floor for a big dive. Back in and the German suplex ends Patty to end the Wrestlemania X rematch.

Rating: D. You know, I had a big rant set up about how this is the best WCW can do to compete with the WWF’s women’s division, but then I realized that Fabulous Moolah was about three months away from winning the title again. However, that at least had some nostalgia and charm to it. This was Madusa beating up whatever relic WCW could find who could work a passable match. It’s really all the proof you need that they didn’t care about this division and just put it together for the sake of saying they had one. To be fair though, that’s basically what WWF did with the light heavyweight division around this time.

Shane Douglas vs. Scott Putski

Scott actually gets the first blows in with some clotheslines and a snap suplex for two. A backdrop has Shane in even more trouble but he finally grabs a neckbreaker to take over. We actually get a reference to Shane’s WCW tenure back in 1992. Shane piledrives Putski for two and we hit a chinlock. Way to show WCW that fire you’re bringing with you Douglas. Putski fights up like a jobber should and walks into the Pittsburgh Plunge (fisherman’s buster) for the pin.

Rating: D+. So to recap, Shane Doulgas is back from ECW to cut out the cancer known as Ric Flair for holding Shane down in ways he never has the time to explain and he starts by having issues beating Scott Putski. I’ve never been a Douglas fan and this is yet another reason of why I feel justified in that thinking.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. David Flair

Little Naitch is refereeing and Benoit is challenging of course. Benoit easily takes him down to start and rips David’s chest off with chops to send the champ to the floor. David tries to leave but Robinson tells him to keep going. Back in and more chops have David screaming, followed by a backbreaker and Liontamer. The champ taps but Robinson just lets him suffer. The Swan Dive sets up the Crossface, only to have DDP come in with a belt shot to give David the pin.

Rating: D. Do I need to explain this one? Again, I actually like the idea behind Flair as they’re openly acknowledging that he’s horrible and only there because his dad was the boss but…..wait why can they still get away with this cheating with Sting in charge now? Shouldn’t that have stopped immediately?

Malenko, Saturn, Douglas and the rest of the Triad run in for a big brawl.

TV Title: Chase Tatum vs. Rick Steiner

Tatum, a No Limit Soldier, comes out to heavy metal. Steiner just mauls him in the corner with right hands and knees to the back. A shoulder drops Rick for a few seconds but another suplex sets up the Steiner Bulldog to retain.

Hollywood Hogan/Sting vs. Kevin Nash/Sid

Of course it’s Sid, because that’s the least logical option outside of Randy Savage. Somehow that means this could be worse if you can actually believe that. Hogan doesn’t bring the belt with him for no apparent reason. Speaking of no apparent reason, there is no reason for either of these teams to trust each other given their recent and distant histories. Again, Sid tried to MURDER Nash a few months back and it’s just forgotten here. By the way, average age of the people in this match: 43, with Sid as the young pup of the group at 38.

Sid tries to take Hogan into the corner to start but Hollywood takes him in instead with a series of right hands. An atomic drop puts Hogan down but Sid is nice enough to help him up. Hogan and Sting get Sid caught between them for a barrage of right hands but Sid blocks a slam. It’s Sid slamming Hogan though, only to miss an elbow drop. Everything breaks down and the good guys clean house.

Back in and Nash slows things down but misses the framed elbow. Sting tries to jump over Nash in the corner but gets caught in Snake Eyes. It’s back to Sid who rakes the eyes to stop Sting’s comeback and we hit the chinlock. Sting fights back again but his splash hits knees and it’s back to Nash. Another comeback is quickly stopped though as Nash knocks Hogan to the floor, leaving no one for Sting to tag.

Nash sends him into the corner and Sting tries another jump, only to have Nash stay in the middle, leaving Sting to just crash into him. Now we get the hot tag to Hogan as everything breaks down again. The referee takes the Stinger Splash by mistake so here’s Rick Steiner to blast Sting with a chair. Hogan cuts his forehead, starts bleeding, and then gets hit in the head to bust him open, giving Nash the easy pin.

Rating: D. Were you expecting anything else here? This was your standard main event tag but the things like Sting just crashing into Nash or Hogan clearly blading in the middle of the ring and bleeding before anyone hit him in the head took away any fun this match could have had. Also, anytime Rick Steiner gets closer to the main event, the match loses more of its value.

Goldberg comes out for the save but gets beaten down as well to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This show wasn’t horrible actually as the wrestling and story advancement carried it to a decent enough performance. Things have actually settled down over the last few weeks and a lot of the insanity has gone away. Unfortunately a lot of the ability to remember plot points from week to week has gone away as well, making a lot of the story developments mean absolutely nothing. At least the wrestling helped things out here though, which is better than what you get most of the time anymore.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Nitro #197
Date: July 19, 1999
Location: Metrocentre, Rockford, Illinois
Attendance: 7,558
Commentators: Scott Hudson, Bobby Heenan

We’re inching closer to Road Wild and we have a main event of World Champion Hollywood Hogan defending against Kevin Nash, who may or may not be a heel now. The main story for tonight though is Sting facing Ric Flair for control of the company, which is a more interesting match as I really don’t remember where these stories go. Let’s get to it.

Quick recap from last week and the opening sequence.

Here’s Sid for an intellectual chat. He can feel the same thing the fans feel in his blood and wants Hogan’s World Title. We get the usual catchphrases and I’m assuming that’s our main event.

Nitro Girls.

Jerry Flynn vs. Fit Finlay

Before the match Jimmy Hart pops up on screen to challenge Finlay for Road Wild, giving him a chance to get the trophy back. Finlay takes over to start and hammers on Jerry in the middle of the ring. Then he hammers him against the ropes and in the corner for good measure. A snapmare and elbow get two on Jerry but he pops up with his spinwheel kick to get a breather. The fans actually cheer for Jerry as he nails a top rope clothesline for two, only to walk into a jawbreaker.

They head outside for some shots into the barricade but the referee takes Finlay’s chair away. We hit the chinlock back inside as Jimmy pops up on screen to cheer for Jerry again. Flynn comes back with his usual jobber offense and chokes against the ropes. He avoids a charging Finlay but walks into the rolling fireman’s carry. Not that it matters though as Finlay leaves to go after Hart, only to get jumped by the First Family, including Flynn. I’m assuming it’s a no contest.

Rating: D-. This is the match that’s supposed to get people to stick with the show? Seriously? This is the best they can come up with? When you have Road Dogg, Bob Holly and Al Snow doing actually entertaining hardcore stuff, at least try to counter with actual hardcore stuff instead of two guys having a bad match. It might actually work. Ok not likely but it could.

JJ Dillon is in the back with Lenny and Lodi. Their contracts have been renewed by something went wrong. Apparently they’re really brothers and should have signed as such. This story just reached a new level of creepy and stupid, which I didn’t think was possible.

Hogan comes out, says he’s going back to his old ways of listening to the fans and accepts Sid’s challenge. Somehow this took five minutes.

Video on Flair vs. Sting.

Norman Smiley vs. Lodi

Lenny and Lodi hug before we get going. Lodi rakes the eyes to take over early on, only to get armdragged down. The spinning slam sends Lodi running to the floor though and it’s time for another embrace. Smiley sends him into the barricade to keep Lodi in trouble though and it’s time for the BIG WIGGLE.

Lenny seems to like the idea and does it too, allowing Lodi to get in a cheap shot to take over. Lodi rolls some suplexes for two with Smiley getting a foot on the ropes. Norman fights up but runs into an elbow to the jaw. We pause for a bit for a consultation between the brothers, only to have Lodi run into a boot in the corner. The Norman’s Conquest goes on and Norman rolls Lodi up for the fast pin.

Rating: D. So we have brothers who…..you know what? I can’t get through this sentence without feeling very wrong. It’s a shock value story and isn’t making me care about either guy any more than I did before. I can’t picture it ending well either as it’s going to get into some uncomfortable areas.

The brothers try the Big Wiggle post match.

DJ Ran.

Eric Bischoff jumps in on commentary. Yay.

Video hyping Sting vs. Flair. Basically Sting says Flair is corrupt (he is) and now Sting wants a match for control of the company.

Sting vs. Ric Flair

Bischoff goes on another rant about what he did wrong. I really don’t know what they’re trying to accomplish with these talks but it comes off like trying to make me care about Bischoff, which would work better if he actually DID something. Sting plants Robinson with a Scorpion Death Drop before the bell, meaning Mickie Jay will come out to referee. Flair looks terrified as reality begins to set in.

The gorilla press plants Flair to start and the chops have no effect. You would think ten years would have taught Flair a lesson already. Sting sends him into the corner but Ric nails a quick low blow to take over. He tries a suplex from the apron to the floor and I’m assuming you know how that turns out. Ric rolls outside and pulls Sting with him, only to eat a hard clothesline.

Back in and Sting nails a big superplex for two as Anderson makes the save. Sting nails Arn but here’s Sid to attack Sting and give us a mini Horsemen reunion. Flair slowly stomps away on Sting and puts on the Figure Four. The ropes are grabbed and Sting gets back up to no sell some more chops. He charges into an elbow though, allowing Flair to go up top. After the required slam off the top, Sting nails some clotheslines but Ric pulls the referee in front of the Stinger Splash. Anderson and Asya come in but are quickly dispatched, allowing Sting to put on the Scorpion. Bischoff comes in and accepts Flair’s submission.

Rating: C+. This was just the greatest hits from Sting vs. Flair, which is fine given that they almost always have a good match. That being said, this felt more about Bischoff’s redemption, even though no one was really interested in seeing him be redeemed anyway. The fact that these two have had what is likely to be the match of the night tells you all about the match selection on this show.

Post match Sid comes in and nails Sting before powerbombing Bischoff. Hogan runs in for the save.

TV Title: Horace vs. Rick Steiner

Let’s get this over with. Steiner hammers away on Horace to start with his usual array of brutally bad offense. Horace pulls him out to the floor but misses a splash on the barricade ala Sting. Back in and Steiner slugs Horace down again with hard shots to the face before putting on a chinlock. Horace fights up with a big boot to knock the champ outside. The referee doesn’t seem to mind the chair shots to Steiner’s back. Kevin Nash seems to mind though as he comes out to send Horace into the steps. The Steiner Bulldog retains the title.

Rating: D. Someone lock Steiner in a room so he can’t hurt any more matches. This was the usual dreadful mess with Rick in there beating up whomever he’s against and barely selling a thing. Horace isn’t much but he’s light years ahead of Rick, who somehow used to be a good hand in the ring.

Nash and Steiner touch fists post match, drawing out Hogan to ask what’s going on. Kevin says it’s personal and that’s that.

Nitro Girls.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Psychosis

We continue the search for Eddie’s wallet. Psychosis misses a charge to start and crashes into the corner, allowing Eddie to baseball slide him out to the floor. Back in and Eddie nails a quick slingshot hilo, only to eat a clothesline from Psychosis. A headscissors and tilt-a-whirl backbreaker get two Eddie and we head outside again.

Eddie is sent into the barricade to work on the ribs so Psychosis throws him back in for a waistlock. A top rope spinwheel kick drops Eddie for two and a top rope hurricanrana gets the same. Eddie blocks a tornado DDT though and grabs a quick neckbreaker, followed by the Frog Splash for the fast pin.

Rating: C-. Psychosis doesn’t get the respect he deserves as he’s actually better than people remember. He may not have been as good as the elite members of the division but he’s still more than able to hold his own in the ring. Eddie continues to look sharp since his return, but this wallet thing needs to wrap up soon so he can go somewhere else.

Villano V and La Parka run in to beat down Eddie post match until Rey Mysterio comes out for the save. Naturally former issues are forgotten and they shake hands.

In the back, Stevie Ray asks Vincent and Brian Adams to watch his back against the Triad. Adams isn’t interested because Ray should be worried about NWO business. He has a point there. Squashing Prince Iaukea on weekend C shows is serious business.

Kanyon vs. Stevie Ray

The Triad does their usual stuff but throws in some Your Mama jokes about Stevie. Ray storms the ring and destroys Kanyon with a big shoulder followed by a gorilla press and big boot. He’s wrestling like a total face so far. Kanyon ducks a corner clothesline though and hammers away, only to be thrown to the floor with ease. Stevie continues to defend his mama’s honor by sending Kanyon into the barricade and then the steps as this has been almost one sided.

Back in and Kanyon grabs a quick slam, followed by a middle rope legdrop for two. A swan dive misses though and Stevie plants Kanyon with a powerslam. The rest of the Triad comes in but Stevie fights them off with relative ease. Stevie totally botches the Slapjack, nearly falling onto Kanyon instead of jumping. Not that it matters as Page comes in for the DQ. Actually scratch that as the referee says it was a pin, even though Page hit him before the three. Ok then.

Rating: D+. Stevie looked like a monster out there but at the end of the day, there’s only so much he can do in the ring. That Slapjack was just horrible, especially when it doesn’t fit Stevie’s style. He’s a power guy but it’s really not a power move. If the skinny version of HHH can hit it, how powerful can it be?

The Triad beats Stevie down until Booker makes the save. To be fair they made fun of his mama too.

Robert Wuhl of Arli$$ joins commentary. I’ve never seen the show so I’m assuming he’s in character and doesn’t really sound this annoying.

Randy Savage vs. Kidman

There’s no Madusa with Savage for some reason. Before the match, Savage says he wants his title back and that he’s running for President in 2000. Sure why not. They trade wristlocks to start with Savage looking a bit frustrated. Savage kicks him in the ribs as Arliss is already getting on my nerves, talking about how amazing Dennis Rodman is. A headscissors and dropkick send Savage to the floor where he grabs a chair and blasts the announcers’ table.

Back in and Savage hammers away, only to get backdropped out to the floor for a big crash. That’s fine with Savage as he pulls Kidman out to the floor and chokes on the table……WITH A SLIM JIM! Ok that made up for a lot of the problems in this show. Back in again and Kidman eats an elbow to the jaw as Arliss STILL won’t shut up about Rodman. Miss Madness accidentally dropkicks Savage (at least it wasn’t the Molly Go Round) to give Kidman two. Savage pops up and piledrives Kidman into next year, setting up the big elbow.

He pulls up at two though and decks the referee, only to drop another referee. Cue Rodman in semi-drag to hit Savage in the back with his hat, sending Savage to the floor and Arliss into the ring to celebrate. I’m assuming the match was thrown out but the fans eat Rodman up because this is Chicago Bulls country.

Rating: C-. This summed up a lot of WCW’s issues in a nutshell. We had a watchable match going on, but between Arliss on commentary, Rodman coming in and the girls brawling afterwards, it was almost impossible to care about the match. On top of that, this was all to set up Randy Savage vs. Dennis Rodman? That’s the best idea they can come up with for a pay per view? Decent match ruined by WCW being unable to stop messing with things.

Security (and Tony Schiavone for some reason) comes in to break it up as Arliss makes a challenge for Savage vs. Rodman at Road Wild. Madusa comes out and brawls with Miss Madness

Clip of Vampiro beating up Konnan last week.

Konnan vs. Vampiro

Konnan babbles about cheddar before the match and slaps Vampiro in the face before the bell. Vampiro quickly takes over and suplexes him down for two before stomping away on Konnan. A spinwheel kick drops Konnan as Heenan sounds bombed. The kick to the ribs and X Factor set up a clothesline to knock Vampiro outside. Back in and a horrible looking takedown called a bulldog sets up the rolling lariat, only to have the Insane Clown Posse come in to stomp on Konnan for the DQ.

Shaggy 2 Dope drops a terrible looking “legdrop” on Konnan which seems to hurt him way more than it should. Raven is out with the clowns too. Rey tries to come in but gets laid out for a moonsault from Violent J. Let’s see: NWO, Team Savage, Rednecks, Triad, No Limit Solders, First Family, Vampiro and company and you could argue Regal/Finlay/Taylor. When you’re reaching enough factions to hold a factions tournament, it’s time to cut things down a few dozen notches.

Nitro Girls with DJ Ran.

Clip of Hogan winning the title last week.

Here’s Buff Bagwell dressed as the Cat to continue this stupid feud. I’ll gloss over the small guy with him in an Asian face mask and the fact that Buff has brown makeup on. His impression is good at least and he rips on fans for being fat. Buff promises to whip all of the Jacksons and wants to click his red shoes together three times to get out of Rockford. Eh point for a funny line. This brings out Cat and Onoo for a red shoe to the head and a Moonwalk elbow. So long Buff. It was nice having you in credability land while it lasted.

Road Wild ad.

Chris Benoit/Perry Saturn vs. Curt Hennig/Barry Windham

This could be good. Hennig takes Benoit into the corner to start but has his whip reversed so Benoit can hammer away. A dropkick to the knee puts Curt down and it’s off to Saturn for a double suplex. Back to Benoit very quickly for a double clothesline before the Crippler goes back to the knee. Kendall finally trips Benoit up to give Hennig a breather, allowing Curt to nail a clothesline and tag in Barry.

Windham hits a clothesline of his own and we take a break. Back with Barry superplexing Benoit for two as Saturn makes the save. Off to Curt for his usual, only to miss a charge in the corner. The hot tag brings in Saturn but he has to fight off all four Rednecks. Hennig rakes the eyes to get out of the Death Valley Driver but gets caught in the Crossface, drawing in the Rednecks for the DQ.

Rating: C. The match was ok while it lasted but I’m getting tired of these heel groups that keep interfering to end matches. We had it for years with the NWO and now we have it with the Triad and the Rednecks. I’m glad that they’re giving so many people something to do, but come up with something fresh. Also, did a six and a half minute match really need a commercial?

Malenko tries to make the save but gets beaten down as well. Instead SHANE DOUGLAS makes his return and cleans house. He grabs the mic and says these guys are the backbone of the company and won’t be held down like he was for years. Where he comes from, if someone is trying to stop your career, you bash them in the head with a stop sign. He’s going to take the cancer out of WCW starting tonight. Hopefully this lights a fire in the old vs. new story even though it’s already dying of frostbite from being so cold. Also, when Shane Douglas is your best hope, you might want to just pack it in now.

Nitro Girls.

Clip of Hogan winning the title last week.

Road Wild ad.

WCW World Title: Sid Vicious vs. Hollywood Hogan

Hogan is defending of course. Heenan doesn’t think these two have ever had a match before. Even Hudson corrects him, saying they may have but not in a WCW ring. They circle each other for a bit before Sid drops outside. Back in and Sid shoves the champion down before Hogan does something similar, though Sid doesn’t go off his feet. A test of strength goes nowhere and Sid is sent outside again.

We’re almost four minutes into the match already and a LOUD boring chant starts up. Back in and Sid kicks at the recently injured knee but Hogan blocks a weak ram into the buckle. A bunch of right hands have Sid reeling and Hogan rains down ten punches in the corner. Hogan rakes the eyes but can’t slam him with the bad knee giving out. Sid grabs a chinlock before wrapping the knee around the post, but the TNT feed goes out for ten seconds for no apparent reason.

We come back without the announcers acknowledging the break so I can’t imagine it was intentional. Back in and Sid puts on a cobra clutch of all things but lets it go and boots Hogan down, only to miss a legdrop. Hulk Up time and he slams Vicious, only to have Nash come in for the DQ.

Rating: D. Here’s the current dilemma for WCW: their options range from trying something “new” with Nash vs. Savage and having the matches be disasters or trying something old with Hogan vs. a monster, which will be more tolerable due to Hogan being able to do that match in his sleep, but still nothing we haven’t seen a thousand times. Yes those are our only two options, because we’re not getting anyone new in the main event anytime soon.

Sting comes in for the save until Rick Steiner comes in to beat Sting down. Goldberg FINALLY returns and cleans house, sending the villains to the floor for a big staredown to end the show. Of course Nash is totally cool with Sid, who was involved in attempting to murder him about a month ago.

Overall Rating: D. I know I said they needed to get back to something more basic, but could they move past 1988? We’re really sitting through Hogan vs. tall monsters and Sting vs. Flair in 1999. That’s in addition to all the lame celebrity appearances and the ridiculous amount of factions. This wouldn’t be so bad if there wasn’t an army of young talented guys that are just spinning their wheels in nothing feuds while the old guys do whatever they feel like doing because no one is going to tell them no.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Thunder
Date: July 8, 1999
Location: Jefferson County Civic Center, Birmingham, Alabama
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko

It’s the last show before Bash at the Beach and things have gone from boring to completely insane. Thankfully this is one of the live shows which are usually far better, especially than next week’s episode where it will have been taped before the PPV, meaning they can’t spoil anything. Let’s get to it.

The announcers recap Sunday’s main event tag match.

Clips of the main event stuff from Monday which is still disturbing.

Here’s Big Kev with something to say. He’s been looking at the video from Nitro and is now sure that Sting was in on it. Therefore, using his power as champ, he’s making Sunday’s tag match a title match, meaning anyone, including Sting, can pin him for the title. Why they don’t just make it a four way is beyond me but seeing how much they can screw this up should be interesting.

Dean Malenko comes into the Oval Office and yells at Flair for breaking up their PPV match due to a bad back. Flair says it’s from carrying this company for the last twelve years. Anderson and Malenko bicker for a bit before Flair says that Dean may be the Man of 1000 Holds, but he’s not Ric Flair. Point to the Nature Boy.

Clip from Nitro of Eddie’s hunt for a thief.

Lenny Lane vs. Eddie Guerrero

Lodi’s sign: “If you can read this, you ARE NOT from Alabama.” They lock up to start and Lenny bails to the corner for a hug. Back in and Eddie fires off punches and uppercuts followed by a pair of dropkicks. Eddie throws him into the corner but gets backdropped to the apron, kicking the referee down in the process. With the referee down, the luchadors Eddie forced to unmask on Monday come out to beat Eddie down, giving Lenny the fluke pin.

Rating: D+. Thank goodness this is for a story, but you can see that Guerrero isn’t going to get any higher up the card than being the big star who is stuck in the Cruiserweight division. The story is interesting and ties back into the LWO stuff (in a way), but Eddie should be higher up the card than he is and that’s just not happening.

Jimmy Hart is in the back and invites La Parka and Silver King to join the Hardcore Invitational on Sunday.

Disco is in the ring with Gene and talks about his match on Sunday with Ernest Miller. Why they’re fighting isn’t made clear but Disco makes Mr. Miyagi and Tae-Bo jokes before promising a Brooklyn, New York beating.

Van Hammer vs. Al Green

They fight into the corner to start until Green grabs a slap to take over. Hammer throws him across the ring in response and clotheslines him out to the floor. That goes nowhere so Hammer kicks him in the face for two. The Alabama Slam and cobra clutch slam is good for the pin on Green. This was nothing.

Rick Steiner runs in and beats Hammer down post match.

Jimmy Hart tries to get Horace into the junkyard as well.

We get the Bret video from Monday.

Most of Bret’s promo from Monday.

Brian Knobbs vs. Fit Finlay

Finlay jumps him to start but is quickly sent to the floor and into the steps. Jimmy Hart (he’s a busy guy tonight) gets in a few cheap shots of his own but Finlay is able to reverse a whip into the barricade. He sends Brian into the post and goes for a table, drawing in Hugh Morrus and Jerry Flynn for the DQ.

Regal, La Parka, Silver King, Horace and Dave Taylor all come out to brawl. Remember people, this is to preview a match in a junkyard. Like, a real junkyard.

Gene is in the ring with Flair and all of his associates. Piper talks about Peter McNeley (a guy Mike Tyson knocked out in 30 seconds) making Bagwell look good this coming Sunday. Buff asked for the match (no he didn’t) because Piper would kill him in a wrestling match. Flair talks about his match with Dean being canceled (despite it never being announced on the main shows) so instead, Dean gets a US Title shot. That’s quite the punishment. If Dean loses on Sunday, Gene gets a night with Asya. Ok then.

Rap Is Crap video.

This Week in WCW Motorsports, now with Ricky Rachman.

Disco Inferno vs. Kidman

Kidman scores with a quick dropkick and clothesline. His Fameasser is countered though and Disco nails a clothesline of his own. A wristlock goes nowhere so they head outside as we hear that Regal is now in the junkyard match. That match sounds like it could be so bad that it’s amazing.

Kidman scores with a dive but Disco grabs an atomic drop back inside, only to charge into a boot. You know you would think a match with these two would be a bit more entertaining. Kidman hits a high cross body and the Low Down for two. Cue Sonny and the Cat as Kidman gets two off a top rope bulldog. Not that it matters as Cat kicks Kidman with the red shoe for the disqualification.

Rating: D+. Every time they get close to giving me something to care about, we get something like Sonny Onoo to screw it up. What happened to Kidman anyway? Oh that’s right: this company is more about screaming HOOTY HOO than having Rey and Kidman tear the house down every night. Also, can we get a match to break five minutes tonight?

Disco lays out Cat post match.

The Triad comes out and says they’ll win on Sunday because Benoit and Saturn have never come close to beating them.

Chris Benoit vs. Kanyon

This HAS to be better. Kanyon goes after him in the corner but gets taken down with chops. Benoit runs him over again but Kanyon rakes him in the eyes. That’s fine with Benoit who snaps off a suplex to send Kanyon rolling out to the floor. We get a chase around the ring with Kanyon getting in first and stomping on the Canadian, only to eat more chops as a result.

They head outside again but WAIT A MINUTE. Jimmy Hart has gotten Mikey Whipwreck into the junkyard match. We’re still not done with anything but the match as Tenay talks about Team Madness going insane in the back because they can’t be on camera. Kanyon suplexes Benoit on the floor and takes him back inside, only for Benoit to fire off more chops.

Back up and Kanyon headbutts him down, setting up a middle rope Fameasser for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Benoit fights up, only to have his powerbomb countered into a sitout version from Kanyon for another near fall. Kanyon heads up top, only to get caught in a superplex to put both guys down. Back up and Benoit starts rolling Germans, only to get drilled in the face with an elbow.

Cue Bigelow with a title belt but Benoit whips Kanyon into the big guy to knock him off the apron. Chris loads up the Swan Dive but gets shoved off by Bam Bam. Now Saturn comes out to even things up but gets whipped into the barricade. Benoit hooks the Crossface but has to avoid Bigelow’s flying headbutt. A dropkick puts the big man outside again and the Crossface makes Kanyon tap.

Rating: B-. The interference was a bit much but they let two talented guys have a good match for about ten minutes. It’s not the best match in the world or anything but after the hour and a half that I had to sit through put this just a step below Steamboat vs. Flair. Kanyon hasn’t been busting out much new stuff lately but he’s still different enough to stand out in the sea of brawlers in WCW.

Page comes out and the Triad lays out Benoit and Saturn to make sure they don’t lose any heat.

Here’s Megadeth’s performance from Monday to waste about five minutes.

Curt Hennig vs. Konnan

Konnan has to chase Bobby off the apron to start before kicking Curt in the ribs to break up a test of strength. A bulldog and dropkick put Hennig down as well, meaning we at least get some great selling. The less famous Windham interferes to give Curt control with all of his usual. Konnan comes back with the rolling clothesline and X Factor, only to have Hennig throw him outside. A huge brawl breaks out on the floor as Konnan hooks the Tequila Sunrise, only to have Barry come in with the cowbell to give Hennig a cheap win.

Overall Rating: D-. Well let’s see. Eddie loses to Lenny Lane, one match broke five minutes, the show long story was Jimmy Hart adding people to the junkyard match, despite no affiliation with the guy running it, multiple matches for Sunday were either added or changed, and about a fourth of the show was spent on videos from Nitro. Someone remind me why this show exists.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Thunder
Date: July 1, 1999
Location: Cajundome, Lafayette, Louisiana
Commentators: Larry Zbyszko, Mike Tenay

We’re into the second half of the year now and hopefully things are going to pick up. After Monday, we have Kevin Nash with Torrie and Gorgeous George and having beaten up eight or so men at once to close Nitro. However, Sting was seen behind the wheel of the Hummer to end the show, but Sting is a weird dude so it could mean a lot of things. Let’s get to it.

We open with the ending of Nitro.

Megadeath will be performing Crush Em live on Nitro.

Bret Hart will be on Nitro for his first comments in months.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Perry Saturn

Saturn jumps Kanyon on the floor before the bell as we hear about Savage and Sid leaving with the belt itself to close Nitro. Page tries to jump Saturn but gets caught in an overhead belly to belly. A Kanyon distraction sends everyone out to the floor and Saturn keeps his control. Back in and Saturn dropkicks knocks Kanyon off the apron, only to get knocked off the apron from behind. Kanyon gets in some cheap shots and things slow down again.

We take a break (and see part of the Crush Em video) and come back with absolutely nothing different. A powerslam plants Saturn but Page takes his sweet time following up. It’s off to an abdominal stretch with Kanyon helping in an old classic sequence. After a hiptoss breaks the hold, Saturn ducks the discus lariat and superkicks Page down for two.

Back up and a Batista Bomb gets the same on Saturn but he breaks up the Diamond Cutter, only to bump the referee at the same time. Kanyon comes in and wraps a title belt around the turnbuckle. Saturn goes after him but gets dropped onto the title, giving Page a very close two count. Cue Benoit for a Swan Dive on Page but Kanyon pulls the referee out at two for the DQ.

Rating: C+. Gah I was getting into that one before the ending. That’s pretty much the only thing they could do though as you want to keep both teams strong going into the title match at the PPV. It’s frustrating but I’d rather have them do this than have a challenger lose his momentum or a title made weak.

Benoit takes out Kanyon with a suicide dive but Bigelow comes out to make it 3-2. Benoit and Saturn get destroyed, which doesn’t bode well for their title match.

No Limit Solders vs. Disorderly Conduct

That would be B.A. (Brad Armstrong) and Swoll (picture an even bigger Ahmed Johnson with even less talent) vs. Mean Mike and Tough Tom. Swoll shoves Mike down with ease to start and we get some standard “I’m a big guy with huge muscles” offense including move shoves and slams for both Conducts. Off to Armstrong for a dropkick but Mike pokes him in the eye to take over.

That’s still not enough though as Armstrong dropkicks Tom and cranks on a headlock, only to be whipped into a knee from Mike to really change control. An ax handle to the back and a jawbreaker have Brad reeling and a neckbreaker is good for two. Disorderly Conduct starts some fast tags before Mike goes up and misses a knee drop. Swoll comes in off the hot tag and cleans more house as everything breaks down. Armstrong is whipped into Tom in the corner, setting up a palm strike to the chest to give Swoll the pin. Yeah the guy is about 6’6 and 340lbs and his finishing move is a palm strike.

Rating: D. Basic tag match here but I’m not sure how to feel for Armstrong. He was a talented guy but the only way he could get out there is to carry this guy due to the powers of nepotism (Swoll was Master P.’s cousin). On the other hand, it’s better than sitting at home and never getting on TV.

La Parka vs. Eddie Guerrero

The camera makes sure to get a shot of a guy in an LWO shirt. They’re actually trying for some continuity on this story and I’m digging it for a change. La Parka goes after him in the corner to start but Eddie is too quick for him. They send each other into the corner before Eddie tosses Parka out to the floor, following him out with a big dive. The announcers finally stop talking about Megadeath and Bret Hart for a second but the dive only has so much power.

La Parka is sent into various metal objects before going back inside. Eddie misses the slingshot hilo but nails La Parka in the back of the head before slingshotting onto him for two. We take a break and come back with La Parka firing off some hard kicks to Eddie’s back. He shouts into the camera that the LWO is dead, which I thought was a foregone conclusion. A chinlock goes nowhere so Eddie nails his tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to send La Parka rolling to the floor, where he picks up the chair.

Eddie follows him out and takes a chair shot to the ribs, which the referee doesn’t seem to mind. Back in and we hit a variety of chinlocks and chokes, followed by a belly to belly to put Guerrero down. He’s not down enough for La Parka’s corkscrew moonsault though and the crash lets Eddie run to the top for the Frog Splash and the pin.

Rating: C+. Eddie has been on a roll since he got back and this was no exception. This is what was always fun about the cruiserweight division: even the second and third string guys were capable of having a good match when they were given the chance. It’s a nice little TV match and that’s more than you usually get out of this show.

Savage is freaking out when his phone rings. We cut to Kevin Nash on the other end, getting a massage. Savage wants Gorgeous George back so Nash tells him to go to 16^th and Norfield in 14 minutes and wait by the pay phones. The look on Savage’s face is priceless as he’s just stunned that this is happening.

This Week In WCW Motorsports.

I Hate Rap video.

Silver King/Villano V/El Dandy/Damien vs. West Texas Rednecks

Barry quickly sends Silver King into the corner to start but misses a charge and eats a missile dropkick followed by a superkick. The Undoubtable El Dandy and Kendall come in with the less famous Windham hammering away and getting two off a backslide. Villano comes in with a clothesline to Kendall, sending him over to tag in Bobby.

Duncum takes a quick beating but it’s off to Damien vs. Hennig as the fast tags continue. Curt chops away in the corner and nails the knee lift. Damien tags Dandy back in for a jam up right hand to Hennig to take over. The luchadors start quadruple teaming Hennig until everything breaks down and Kendall grabs a bulldog on Damien for a pin.

Rating: C-. Not as bad as I was expecting here as they kept this moving. I’m glad they went with this formula too as there was no real need to have the Rednecks beat up a luchador for awhile or waste a lot of time in trouble when the ending is totally obvious. Nothing match but it could have been much worse.

Savage gets to the payphones and tries to figure out which one is ringing until he realizes it’s his own cell phone. Nash gives him a bunch of directions to tell Savage where to find him (two blocks down from Quick Pick in whatever city this is taking place in). Savage trying to remember all this is amusing.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Blitzkrieg

It’s a rare defense for Mysterio. We get the usual catchphrases from the No Limit Soldiers, including Armstrong in a bizarre moment. Feeling out process to start until Blitzkrieg runs into two boots in the corner and gets backdropped out to the apron. He misses a springboard spinwheel kick but catches Rey in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for a near fall. A headscissors puts Blitzkrieg on the floor for a baseball slide, only to have him catch a diving Mysterio in a powerbomb on the floor.

We head back inside for some moonsaults and chinlocks from the challenger before Rey catches him in another tilt-a-whirl backbreaker (far too popular a move in this company). Blitzkrieg comes back with a clothesline but misses a springboard knee. Rey hits a kind of Stinger Splash in the corner but runs into a second clothesline. A dropkick knocks Blitzkrieg out of the air and the top rope hurricanrana retains the title.

Rating: C. This was back to the old “I do a spot then you do a spot then we both do a spot” formula that dominated the division for so long. It also furthers the idea that Blitzkrieg really wasn’t anything special in the ring and was much more flash than substance. Mysterio needs to drop the title already though as he’s completely outgrown the thing and it could be used to elevate someone else.

Savage’s Hummer pulls up on a street corner and Nash’s limo arrives a few seconds later. Nash gets out and talks about how sweet George is. Sid and Savage jump Nash until a clearly fake Sting breaks a ball bat over Nash’s back. Sid takes the girl in the back seat (clearly Torrie) and puts her in the Hummer as Nash is left laying.

TV Title: Rick Steiner vs. Buff Bagwell

We get the usual catchphrases from both until Steiner nails him in the back with a dog collar. They head outside with Rick piledriveing on the concrete and hot shotting him onto the barricade. Back in and Buff nails a dropkick and neckbreaker because being dropped head and throat first onto concrete and steel don’t have any real effect on him. Buff gets knocked to the floor as we take a break and get to see the rest of the Crush Em video. Yeah remember that from an hour and a half ago?

Back with the champ choking with his chain and then putting on a chinlock. Again, why do we even bother with referees in this company anymore? Rick punches him in the neck a few times and we’re right back to the chinlock. After a minute or so of that, we switch to a reverse chinlock to keep things fresh. Buff fights up after two arm drops but Rick stops the comeback after about eight seconds. He puts Bagwell on top but gets kicked away as Buff loads up the Blockbuster. Not that it matters though as David Flair comes out to tase Buff (again, WCW referees are WORTHLESS), giving Rick an easy pin.

Rating: D. Again, why in the world is Rick Steiner getting this kind of a push? He doesn’t do anything other than punches and hard rest holds but for some reason he’s spent months as the TV Champion. Speaking of Steiners as champions, has Scott been seen since he beat Buff at the PPV a few months back? Also, this drops Buff to 1-3 since he pinned Flair in the eight man tag, with the one win coming via DQ and being followed by a beatdown from Sid and Savage.

Savage opens the car door and finds Torrie because Nash is not only able to beat up eight guys at once and leave with the girls, but he’s SMART too!

Overall Rating: C-. The wrestling, save for the main event which was barely wrestling, was tolerable here and it brings the show up a bit. The Nash and Savage stuff is straight out of a low budget movie, which could be a good or bad thing based on your taste. However, at the end of the day we’re looking at yet another horrible main event match at Bash at the Beach because no one EVER breaks into the main event around here. The old vs. new story looks to be dead at this point with the new generation shoved back down the card to where they have been forever now. At least Piper and Flair can draw though and that’s what matters.

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Great American Bash 1999
Date: June 13, 1999
Location: Baltimore Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 11,672
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay

To say this show doesn’t sound thrilling is an understatement. We’ve spent weeks getting ready for Nash vs. Savage with antics ranging from makeup to human waste to attempted murder. Other than that we have Rick Steiner no selling against Sting for the TV Title and more of the mess that is the Tag Team Title scene. Let’s get to it.

Master P. and the No Limit Soldiers arrive. Curt Hennig pops up and says how much he loves him and asks how much he loves him. P. signs a CD for him (which one of his guys just had in his pocket) and Hennig breaks it. The Soldiers all start jumping up and down and shoulding what sounds like “Hoody who” in high pitched voices. This is a southern promotion for a show in a southern city and they expect Hennig to be booed here?

The opening recap video shows us a stupid Savage vs. Nash feud.

Tony and the announcers explain who Master P. is and call him the biggest entertainer of our time. We hear about the main event as well.

We recap most of the matches on the card. Well at least it cuts into the main event time. They even go back and cover the hardcore match twice.

Hak vs. Brian Knobs

I sit corrected: this is a kendo stick match and Knobs is officially part of the First Family. So why did he say he had to think about it? Tony calls this a kendo stick hardcore match because they can’t even keep their stupid gimmicks straight through a single entrance. Brian has promised Mrs. Nasty a birthday win today so let’s get rid of the sticks and have a real hardcore match. So in the span of 90 seconds we’ve gone from kendo stick to kendo stick hardcore to hardcore. I know it doesn’t matter but it sounds like WCW has no idea what they’re doing.

Brian wants to throw away the weapons but Jimmy throws him a trashcan for a cheap shot. Knobs hits him in the head with a trashcan lid and there’s the Pit Stop. Hak stops a charge with two boots to the face and blasts Knobs with the trashcan. It’s ladder time but Knobs comes back with a trashcan shot of his own. He gets decked by the ladder though and Hak hits a slingshot….something onto the ladder onto Knobs.

Hak gets thrown into the ladder in the corner and a few more ladder shots put him down. The advantage only lasts a few seconds as you would expect but Hak’s Swanton only hits ladder. Jimmy holds up a chair but Hak sends him face first into the steel, setting up a kendo stick shot for the pin.

Rating: F. We waited thirteen minutes for the matches to start and this is the best they can give us? The only positive about this is the match wasn’t even six minutes long, which is way better than the usual lengths that we have to sit through. It’s still bad though and I’m tired of seeing these disasters.

Hugh Morrus comes out and helps beat down Knobs.

Piper is in the back when Buff comes up to thank him for giving him the ball. He has a big match tonight (against Disco Inferno) and promises to have Piper’s back tonight against Flair. Buff leaves and Piper mutters about stupid kids. Lines like that defeat the purpose of Piper as the mentor to the young guys. He should be thrilled with where the future is going instead of being annoyed with them for saying they’ll have his back. Also, is a match with Disco Inferno “getting the ball” when you had a US Title match last month?

Mikey Whipwreck vs. Van Hammer

Bonus match. Mikey gets shoved down a few times but comes back with some armdrags. Hammer chokes him to take over and drives a knee into Mikey’s ribs. A middle rope slam sends Mikey flying as the fans think this is boring. Hammer gets two off a delayed vertical suplex and a legdrop before we hit the abdominal stretch. Nick Patrick finally catches him holding the ropes so Hammer throws Mikey to the floor. Mikey goes throat first over the barricade but he comes back with a legdrop to the back of the head and a plancha. Back in and Hammer catches him in a spinebuster, setting up a cobra clutch slam for the pin.

Rating: D-. Somehow that was eight and a half minutes long. To recap, we can’t get Booker T. on this show but there’s time for Mikey Whipwreck vs. Van Hammer. Mikey is one of those hires that never made sense. He won like two matches in his six months with the company, even though WCW knew he was banged up when they got him. Eh whatever you can do to screw with ECW I guess.

Disco Inferno vs. Buff Bagwell

In case you didn’t get enough of it on Nitro I guess. They start fast for a change by trading kicks to the ribs until Disco grabs a neckbreaker to send him outside. Back in and Buff kicks him in the ribs a few times, setting up a swinging neckbreaker of his own. Buff cranks on an armbar and starts a DISCO SUCKS chant. An early Blockbuster attempt sends Disco running to the floor and Buff says it was that close.

Back in and Bagwell flips him off (some hero) so Disco nails him with a Stun Gun to take over. Disco chokes on the ropes so Tony congratulates all the recent high school graduates in the country. Ok then. More slow stomping in the corner from Inferno followed by a dancing middle rope elbow for two. Disco goes up for the same spot but Buff moves (that might have been some miscommunication as Tony made a big deal about Bagwell not moving the first time) and starts his comeback.

Some right hands look to set up the Blockbuster but Buff takes too long and gets crotched. They head outside and Disco hits the Last Dance, only to take too long dancing to allow Bagwell to beat the count. Back in and the Macarena Driver (exactly what it sounds like) is countered with a backdrop. Buff hits some really basic stuff and goes up for the Blockbuster. Disco ducks away but Bagwell doesn’t bite and hits the Blockbuster for the pin. Nice little callback there.

Rating: D+. Of all the guys that WCW never pulled the trigger on, Bagwell might surprise me more than anyone else. He was young (29 here), an eight year veteran, had a great look and a good finisher, yet he never won a singles title in WCW. That’s not even factoring in the whole broken neck story. He’s a good example of a guy that could have been something but instead we’re stuck with the Steiners as the midcard champions and Nash vs. Savage for the World Title. Bagwell never would have carried the company or anything, but there’s no reason he couldn’t have gotten the US or TV Titles a few times.

We recap the battle of the musics. Again, WCW was stupid enough to think that the country boys would be the heels in this story.

DJ Ran wastes our time and brings in Master P. and the No Limit Soldiers.

Curt Hennig/Bobby Duncum Jr. vs. Rey Mysterio Jr./Konnan

Tenay actually picks rap. We also get the debut of Rap Is Crap as the cowboys’ theme song. I have no idea why A, Mysterio is Cruiserweight Champion is he never defends the thing and B, why he and Konnan come out wearing gas masks. Tenay tries and fails at getting me to care about Master P. The rappers jump Hennig for talking trash about Master P. and the cowboys are quickly dispatched. P. gets in a cheap shot to the back of Curt’s head because that’s what good guys down.

We get down to an actual match with Mysterio dropkicking Hennig to the floor and nailing a plancha but diving into a backbreaker from Duncum. A big powerbomb plants Rey again and Hennig slams him down as well. Rey takes the Bret Hart chest bump into the corner and the cowboys keep things slow. The referee misses the hot tag to Konnan and takes him to the floor, allowing Bobby to send Mysterio hard into the barricade.

Back in and Curt hits a perfect dropkick to Rey’s jaw and spits at Konnan to draw him in. Bobby crotches him against the post and Rey is in big trouble. Hennig does a Rude hip swivel and it’s quickly back to Duncum. Rey crawls through the legs and tags Konnan which the referee sees but “he didn’t see it” so it doesn’t count.

Hennig gets two off a suplex but Rey moonsaults over him and scores with a dropkick. Now the hot tag brings in Konnan as everything breaks down. There’s the Bronco Buster to Curt and he fights with Konnan on the floor. Cue Barry Windham to nail Konnan but Master P.’s bodyguard Swoll jumps the barricade and nails Duncum, setting up a slingshot legdrop for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was pretty dull and the ending was messier than it needed to be. The idea doesn’t work either as the country boys are far more popular with WCW’s fan base but we’re supposed to cheer for rappers who jump up and down and shout HOODY WHO for some reason. But hey, at least Master P. is on the show right?

The cowboys destroy the rappers post match.

The announcers talk about what we just saw and we look at a replay of it to waste even more time.

Cat vs. Scott Norton

Sonny has a briefcase with him. Actually scratch Norton as Horace comes out to complain about getting hit with the crowbar on Thursday. Time for a replacement.

Cat vs. Horace Hogan

Horace says Miller couldn’t even beat himself and the fight is on. Cat gets beaten down in the corner and choked with a boot before they head outside. That goes nowhere so Miller kicks him in the face back inside. Miller slams him down and throws Horace outside for some kicks from Sonny. Back in and Horace hits a slam of his own and drops an elbow for two. A splash gets two more but Sonny gets up on the apron for a distraction. Horace sees through it and backdrops Miller to the floor. In the confusion, Miller gets his sparkly red shoe from the briefcase and kicks Horace senseless for the pin.

Rating: D-. Oh come on man I already had to sit through this on Thunder. Isn’t that enough for WCW? I knew things were going to get bad around this time but no one told me I was going to have to sit through this match twice in four days. Miller needs to turn face soon and Horace needs to turn to another career.

We recap Piper vs. Flair. Piper is old, Flair is crazy (actually just more evil than anything else) and they’re fighting for control of the company.

Roddy Piper vs. Ric Flair

Flair has Asya and Arn with him. They trade chops to start and Piper takes over with some lefts to the face. We get a delayed Flair Flop and Ric begs off in the corner. The slowest backslide this side of the last Piper match gets two and Flair gets punched to the floor. Back in and Piper bites Flair’s nose, followed by even more of his weird punches. Ric finally gets in a low blow to get a breather and things slow down even more. Anderson gets in a shot on the floor and Asya adds a rake of the eyes.

There’s another low blow from Flair but a sunset flip sends his trunks down as usual. Ric gets slammed off the top and Piper nails Anderson for bad measure. I can’t say there’s anything good, even a measure, in this match. Back in and Roddy puts on a sleeper but Flair quickly breaks it. Anderson trips up Roddy so Flair can nail Piper with a foreign object. Piper is up at two but there’s the Figure Four. Bagwell comes out to break up Anderson’s interference and goes in, drawing the DQ.

Rating: F. Gah. Seriously just gah. This was another mess with Flair having to work down to Piper’s level and Piper just being awful. I have no idea why WCW insists on keeping Piper out there when the fans don’t care and the stories go on and on. Piper and Flair had a great feud seventeen years ago. We really don’t need to see it again here and this match is good proof of why.

Post match Piper nails Bagwell, making this whole feud TOTALLY POINTLESS. Bagwell gets whipped with a belt for good measure. So yeah, Piper is in league with Flair and Anderson, presumably for daring to challenge the status quo.

DJ Ran. Again.

We recap Sting vs. Rick Steiner who are fighting…..actually I have no idea why they’re fighting. My best guess is Goldberg is out making a movie though.

Sting vs. Rick Steiner

This is hardcore and non-title for no apparent reason. Sting scores with an early clothesline and they head outside to start brawling. That’s a bit too boring though so they head inside where Rick nails some forearms to the back. A pair of atomic drops don’t have much effect on Steiner and they head outside again. Tony says there must be a winner.

Steiner hits Sting with a chair and then a beer. Sting comes back but the Stinger Splash hits the barricade. A piledriver on the exposed concrete gets two and somehow doesn’t break Sting’s neck. Back in and Rick gets two more off a release German suplex, followed by the chinlock. Rick cannonballs down onto Sting’s back and gets two off an elbow drop. Sting finally gets his knees up to crotch Rick and some Vader Bombs actually keep him down.

The top rope splash connects for two and Sting is all fired up. He nails the Stinger Splash and puts on the Deathlock but Rick crawls under the ropes. They fight to the internet location and into the back where Tank Abbot is waiting…..with two dobermans and a rottweiler who attack Sting. They take Sting down as security runs in like a bad shot from an action movie. Rick is declared the winner as the fans just rip this apart.

Rating: F-. Three dogs. Three dogs. THREE DOGS. Next. Please.

The Steiners say Rick pinned Sting off camera because WCW was too scared to air it. They own WCW, Baltimore sucks, etc.

We recap the Triad against Saturn/Benoit. The easiest version: Kanyon was in league with the Jersey boys the whole time but Benoit and Saturn beat Kanyon and Page for the titles on Thunder.

Tag Team Titles: Chris Benoit/Saturn vs. Kanyon/Diamond Dallas Page

The announcers are joking about pyro after Sting WAS NEARLY MAULED BY DOGS. That’s a long running problem with commentators: they have the attention span of drunken gnats. Someone must get in their ear as they start talking about how terrifying a moment it was but assure us that Sting was dragged away from the dogs. Benoit runs Kanyon over to start and Page isn’t pleased. The champs clear the ring with clotheslines and Benoit stands…..well not very tall actually.

It’s off to Page vs. Saturn with DDP taking a few slams. Everything breaks down again and the champions easily dispatch the Jersey boys. That’s not enough for them though as they go outside to beat up Bigelow before snapping off overhead belly to bellies on Page and Kanyon. Bigelow trips Benoit to the floor and sends him into the barricade to get the first advantage. Kanyon gets two off a middle rope Fameasser and Benoit is in trouble. Back to Page whose powerbomb is countered into a sunset flip but Benoit gets kicked right back down.

The helicopter bomb gets two on Benoit and it’s back to Kanyon, but he misses a moonsault. The hot tag brings in Saturn for a frog splash on Page. Saturn hammers on Page in the corner but Kanyon takes him down with an electric chair faceplant for two. Things settle back down with the challengers hitting a nice sequence into a Russian legsweep from Kanyon and an elbow drop from Page. Saturn grabs a sunset flip but Kanyon tags out on the way down and holds Saturn’s head so Page can come in off the top for the save.

Back to Kanyon for a front facelock into a swinging neckbreaker. A sitout Dominator from Kanyon gives Page two but he misses a charge into the corner. It’s finally enough for the second hot tag to bring in Benoit for some much needed house cleaning. Kanyon takes the Rolling Germans for two but Page makes the save.

We get the old school dragon suplex for a VERY close two and Benoit hits the Swan Dive, only to have Saturn dive into the Diamond Cutter. Cue Dean Malenko to try and help Saturn back in but the distraction lets Bigelow come in to lift Benoit up for a super Diamond Cutter. Kanyon’s unconscious body is put on top for the pin and the titles.

Rating: B-. I’m so glad they gave us that three day reign before the Triad got the belts back. As usual the (mostly) old guys get the win and the titles while the (mostly) young generation is laid out. In theory this sets up a six man at least which should be good, but knowing WCW it leads to Benoit, Saturn and Malenko jobbing for months.

Dean gets laid out too.

We recap Savage vs. Nash. Savage wanted a title shot so he put lipstick on Nash’s face, called him a stupid person and tried to have him crushed with a Hummer. Don’t you see the logical progression of events?

WCW World Title: Kevin Nash vs. Randy Savage

Nash is defending and powers Savage into the corner to start, showing absolutely no injuries from being crushed by a Hummer six days earlier. Wait scratch that as he winces a bit after a clothesline in the corner. The impact is kind of lost though when he picks Savage up for a side slam three seconds later.

Randy starts going after the ribs and knocks Nash to the floor so the girls can get in shots of their own. Back in and Savage drops the big elbow for two. Nash comes back with Snake Eyes followed by a big boot and the strap comes down. The girls all interfere and get dispatched but SID VICIOUS runs in and attacks Nash for the DQ.

Rating: F. The main event of a pay per view didn’t even make it seven and a half minutes. Actually that’s a bit better than the alternative of watching these two fight any longer as it’s clear that Savage has nothing left in the ring. Sid interfering was a big surprise as he hadn’t been seen in a major wrestling company (unless you count ECW) since 1997. Nash not selling the ribs for the opening part of the match brought it down but you can’t expect Nash to sell and toss his hair at the same time.

Overall Rating: F. If I’ve ever seen a less interesting or worse show, I can’t recall it off the top of my head. There was one good match, three matches that should have been on Nitro or Thunder (one of which was) and Sting being attacked by dogs. Say that out loud and see if you think it’s stupid. Couple that with the horrible main event and there isn’t much to feel good about.

The problem here is much more than the wrestling being bad. This show died because there’s nothing interesting going on. Nothing on here makes me want to tune in to see what’s coming. It’s all the old guys dominating and the young guys getting beaten down. In theory that should set up a good story, but I have no faith in WCW to pull that off. Hogan’s return looms over everything too and that might make things even worse. I’m not sure how, but it could. This was one of the worst shows I’ve ever seen and I didn’t see much hope.

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Monday Nitro #190
Date: May 31, 1999
Location: Astrodome, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

We’re two weeks away from the Great American Bash and the main event is still dominating the card. Thankfully we’re getting some development on the rest of the card and hopefully the rise of Benoit and Malenko up the card as the new young stars of the company. Well Malenko is pushing 40 at this point so he can only be so young but you get the idea. Let’s get to it.

We open with Raven arriving at the arena but getting attacked by Bigelow and Page in the parking lot. They throw him into a dumpster and slam the lid on his head.

Recap of last week with Piper beating up Flair and the Horsemen turning on their leader.

We see Tank Abbott getting into it with Rick Steiner on Thunder.

The announcers do their thing.

DJ Ran.

Here’s Eddie Guerrero for the first time this year after a horrible car wreck. The announcers welcome him back and show us some photos of Eddie’s totaled car. Eddie lists off his injuries and hopes to be back soon. He’ll be doing some commentary to start things off.

Hak vs. Kidman

Hak has to lose the weapons to start and Kidman actually tries to make it a wrestling match. I can’t imagine it staying that way but it’s nice to pretend for a bit. They stay on the mat for a bit with Kidman holding a headscissors…and now let’s hear from Tank Abbott and his goons about how being in a cage is hardcore. He has history being in a cage you see, and he’s going to referee the TV Title match tonight.

We cut back to the match with Kidman taking over again with a dropkick. Chastity gets on the apron with a chair, allowing Hak to send Kidman face first into the steel. It’s weapons time now as I guess this was a hardcore match the whole time. Kidman is whipped into the ladder but avoids a Swanton through the table. He loads up the Shooting Star but here’s Hugh Morrus to shove him off, somehow drawing a no contest in a hardcore match.

Rating: D. There was some decent wrestling to start but then we went to the hardcore stuff and a Tank Abbott promo because we can’t do that at some other point. I don’t know why they insist on wasting Kidman on something like this when he’s capable of having good matches with any talented guy you throw at him.

Brian Knobs comes out to beat up Hak.

Flair is in his office and orders eight women to his room tonight. JJ Dillon says Savage’s elbow is officially banned. So what else can he actually do?

Clip of Steiner and Abbott on Thunder.

Eddie thanks the fans and Bischoff for believing in him.

Here are Bigelow and Page with something to say. Page rips on the fans and says he knew it was wrong to put Hogan out with a knee injury. He tried to apologize but last week Hogan knocked him out with a crutch as he was leaving. Bigelow and Page threaten to put Hogan on the permanent injured list before turning their attention to Raven and Saturn. They took the trash out earlier and now don’t want to wait for the Great American Bash for their title shot.

Kanyon is going to take Raven’s place in the Tag Team Title match tonight.

DJ Ran doesn’t like Curt Hennig not liking hip hop. Oh geez they’re going to have him advance stories now?

Curt Hennig comes out to the commentary desk and insists that rap is crap. Hennig likes country music better and is going to go sing a country song at DJ Ran’s booth. Bobby Duncum Jr. comes out to sing with Curt and they belt out Blame It On Texas. It’s not really singing as much as it is rhythmic talking but they’re trying. Konnan and Mysterio come out in their Astros jerseys for the save. A tag match is made for later.

We look at Hennig and Konnan brawling last week. Wouldn’t this fit better before the previous segment?

Van Hammer vs. Evan Karagias

Evan gets hammered on to start and is quickly put in a Tree of Woe. He avoids a charge though and grabs a headlock, only to be shoved away and shouldered down. A headscissors takes Hammer over but he counters another attempt with a hot shot. Hammer plants him with a backbreaker and Vader clothesline for two before putting on an abdominal stretch. Evan actually hiptosses the big guy over, only to get caught in a delayed vertical suplex. Hammer gets taken down again and a high cross body gets two, but he grabs the cobra clutch slam for a quick pin.

Rating: D. Hammer really needs something besides the cobra clutch slam. That’s a move that almost anyone could do and while it’s decent for a power guy, he needs to do something that looks a lot more devastating. Or we could just not have Hammer on TV and see how well that works for us.

Here’s Piper to say God bless America and talk about the Horsemen breaking up last week. He calls Flair a gelding and asks Malenko to come out here for a chat. Piper praises Dean as the best cruiserweight of all time but Dean doesn’t say anything. He takes the mic and says that Flair walked out on the Horsemen and last week was just them responding.

This brings out Flair and Anderson but Dean cuts them off and says the Horsemen weren’t supposed to be about feeding Flair’s ego. WCW needs to be about passing the torch and letting the younger guys get their chance on top. Flair says he hasn’t met anyone worth passing the torch to yet. Dean goes to Arn and says last week he promised to have Arn’s back anywhere, but that was last week. Piper and Flair get in a fight and Flair runs away. Natrually that’s the focus instead of Anderson and Malenko because it’s Flair and Piper.

Nitro Girls.

Eric Bischoff joins commentary for no apparent reason.

Konnan/Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Curt Hennig/Bobby Duncum Jr.

So much for Rey defending against Kidman, at least for now it seems. Konnan and Rey wear what appear to be prison uniforms. The cowboys try to sing a little bit but get dropkicked in the back to start fast. Mysterio dropkicks Curt’s leg and shouts WEST SIDE on the middle rope. Hennig and Duncum are knocked out to the floor for a breather as Bischoff praises Rey. Back in and Hennig nails Mysterio in the ribs with a right hand before it’s off to Duncum for a shoulder breaker.

Back to Hennig who whips Rey across for the Bret Hart chest first bump to the buckle. The cowboys keep up the fast tagging with Bobby throwing Mysterio around like a rag doll. Mysterio nails a quick dropkick to Hennig and slides between Curt’s legs for the hot tag to Konnan and a genuine eruption from the crowd. There’s the Tequila Sunrise on Hennig but Duncum breaks it up with the cowbell for the DQ.

Rating: D+. It’s another culture clash feud but at least most of the guys in it are worth watching. Duncum had potential to be good but the cowboy thing was only going to take him so far at this point. It’s not a bad match but I groaned at the cowbell ending. WCW was so obsessed with getting rid of the southern identity but they have that around?

Konnan gets hogtied post match.

Here’s Savage on his own with something to say. He talks about Nash being on his way to the arena when Madusa comes out to say Nash is here. Savage calls Nash out for later in another segment that didn’t need to be in the arena.

Page and Bigelow are in the back, standing over an unconscious Kanyon.

David Flair vs. Erik Watts

Holy sweet mother of goodness they can’t be serious. Bischoff just buries both guys, saying Erik got his push because of his dad and that David absolutely sucks. Well he had to be right at some point. He even says that his son would have a winning record if he was in charge. There were warning signs of Garrett Bischoff coming and no one stopped him??? Erik hammers away to start and clotheslines Flair out to the floor. He rams David into the buckle a few times and yells at Papa Flair.

David manages to avoid a dropkick and tries the Figure Four, only to get kicked out to the floor. A suplex brings him back in for two and Watts starts picking him up every time. David is tortured with a Rock Bottom, pumphandle slam and chinlock slam. He loads up another Rock Bottom but Anderson sneaks in for a spinebuster to give David the pin.

Rating: N/A. I can’t rate this because I can’t help but laugh. This is the kind of match that you see on lists of the worst possible matches you could imagine. Like, you say this as a joke instead of something that could actually happen. That’s what we’re dealing with here because WCW actually did it. Raw could be airing a midget Brawl For All against this and it might not be as stupid an idea.

Video on Nash vs. Savage.

Buff tells Flair he wants Savage again tonight but is given a suitable replacement: Bobby Eaton. Buff: “Does he even work here anymore?” Either way, Bagwell promises to hurt him tonight.

Ernest Miller comes out to call out Norton for a fight. Well at least that’s what I think he’s saying as Bischoff keeps talking about how the company in New York is beating them right now and he’s partially to blame. Anyway here’s Norton and we get a bell.

The Cat vs. Scott Norton

Norton immediately nails Cat with a headbutt and knocks him for a loop. He hammers away in the corner as we see the Black and White laughing in the locker room. With Cat down in the corner, Sonny slips him a crowbar to knock Norton silly for the surprise pin.

The Black and White runs out of the locker room.

Here are Savage and the girls again because we haven’t seen enough of them. Well ok that’s true in George’s case. Nothing is said before Nash’s music comes on and here’s…..a tall guy in drag wearing a replica belt. Savage says this is a match so we get a bell, allowing Savage and the girls to get in shots, such as a top rope hurricanrana from Miss Madness and a middle rope elbow from George. Savage drops the banned top rope elbow for a pin before celebrating with the belt. Again, is there a point to this or are we supposed to draw our own conclusions? For some reason Bischoff thinks Miss Madness is a man.

Nitro Girls.

Recap of Bagwell beating Savage by DQ on Thunder. That would be the second time Bagwell beat Savage by DQ on Thunder.

Buff Bagwell vs. Bobby Eaton

For some reason Bischoff goes on a rant about how worthless Jesse Ventura was on commentary. Eaton hammers away to start and goes after Bagwell’s face, only to get monkey flipped and dropkicked to slow him down. Two boots in the corner stop a charging Eaton and a clothesline drops him for two. Buff misses a charge and falls to the floor before taking a swinging neckbreaker in the ring. Bischoff keeps up his tirade by ripping on Bagwell for no apparent reason before switching over to Konnan. Buff comes back with a suplex and hiptoss followed by the Blockbuster for the pin.

We look at Raven getting taken out earlier.

Tag Team Titles: Saturn vs. Bam Bam Bigelow/Diamond Dallas Page

Bischoff calls Page one of the biggest mistake he’s made in WCW. Saturn grabs a mic and says he’ll keep the titles by himself tonight. Page calls Saturn stupider than he looks. Bigelow gets things going for the only team in the match and shoves Saturn down with ease. A shoulder block does the same as Bischoff hypes up Tank being in the cage tonight. Saturn comes back with a springboard cross body to Bigelow and a belly to belly to Page. Some clotheslines put the challengers on the floor and we take a break.

Back with Bigelow getting in a knee from the apron, allowing Page to clothesline Saturn down to take over. It’s back to Bigelow for a falling headbutt and a two count before the discus lariat gets two for Page. A Batista Bomb gets two more and things slow down a bit. Page comes back in with a top rope clothesline for another two and we hit the chinlock.

Bam Bam comes in off the top but misses the swan dive. Saturn superkicks both guys down and sends the challengers into each other. The Death Valley Driver gets two on Page and there’s one for Bigelow as well. Cue Kanyon to stand in the wrong corner and get the hot tag, but Page hits him once for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C. Well it’s clear that something is coming with the booking but again with the young and talented teams losing the belts so fast. Did they really have to change the titles in just a few weeks? They couldn’t have waited for the pay per view? Page and Bigelow aren’t even an interesting team as they’re just two guys from Jersey. You wouldn’t see Norton and Hennig as a team because they’re both from Minnesota would you? At least the match was decent though.

Savage and the girls are trying to leave in the limo but it’s blocked by a septic truck. You can see it coming from here. Nash is driving, gets out, puts a hose in the sunroof and the villains gets sprayed. Nash says something about this portion of Nitro has been brought to you by Septic Services, for all your savage septic needs. Ok funny line.

DJ Ran.

The cage is lowered.

TV Title: Rick Steiner vs. Sting

In a cage with a roof, Steiner defending and Tank Abbott as the guest referee. Sting sends Rick head first into the cage to start and stomps away with Steiner not all that interested in selling tonight. The champ comes back with a low blow and hard right hands followed by an elbow drop. A dropkick sends Rick through the ropes and Sting rakes his face on the cage before hitting a Stinger Splash, driving Steiner against the steel.

Rick comes right back with a suplex and a ram into the cage of his own. We hit the chinlock as Tank just kind of walks around and doesn’t do anything of note. Sting fights up again and nails another dropkick as there isn’t a lot of energy for this match. Some clotheslines look to set up a splash but Rick raises his knees.

Sting slips off Steiner’s shoulders but can’t get a backslide. Instead he tries a very modified Gory Stretch, only to have Rick get to the cage to escape. Sting sends him into the corner for the Splash but Abbott pulls Steiner out of the way. Rick tapes Sting to the ropes as Tank leaves, meaning in two weeks, they’ve now ended a cage match and a battle royal in no contests.

Rating: D-. Holy sweet Christmas they’ve managed to screw up a cage match. For one thing, it’s WAY too early in this feud for a big gimmick match. On top of that, the match lasted less than eight minutes and was there to push Tank Abbott than for the match itself. The fact that it’s Rick Steiner refusing to sell ANYTHING makes sitting through this even worse. Horrible match here and even worse storytelling and decision making.

Abbott and his goons walk out to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. So let me get this straight: we had two and a half hours of Bischoff’s out there commentary, Tank Abbott screwing over Sting for a no contest in a cage match, a no contest in a hardcore match, Curt Hennig singing, more Flair vs. Piper and one of the worst possible matches in the history of wrestling. I know I’ve said this before, but it can’t possibly get any worse than this.

Now to be fair there’s some decent stuff in here, such as the Tag Team Title match and most of the Horsemen segment, but the bad just cripples anything the good can do for the show. The big story needs to actually go somewhere and that doesn’t seem to be happening anytime soon. It’s far more old vs. old with talk of the old vs. new not going anywhere. There’s still time, but we need to get there and actually fire up the company a bit.

Monday Nitro #188
Date: May 17, 1999
Location: Five Seasons Center, Cedar Rapids, Iowa
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

After taking last week off, we’re ready to get the fallout from Slamboree. I’m sure people have been on the edge of their seats to see if Nash has given the title back yet or to see the return of Eric Bischoff so we better not waste much time. The other major story coming out of the pay per view is Flair losing control to Piper and then being fired after a screwy ending. Let’s get to it.

We open with Flair and company arriving at the building. They head to the office and Robinson replaces Piper’s name with Flair’s.

Here are Flair and the entourage to the ring as I feel we have a theme going here. Anderson starts things off, saying the Horsemen will get the Tag Team Titles back tonight. Flair tells us what everyone knew at Slamboree: Bischoff had no authority to change the decision so Ric is still the boss. If Ted Turner doesn’t get Bischoff out, Flair is going to let Jane Fonda (Turner’s wife) ride Space Mountain.

As for tonight, it’s Flair/Robinson vs. Savage/Gorgeous George and Nash is defending against DDP. This brings out Page to endorse Flair as President and accuse Nash of having Bischoff in his pocket. That’s a pretty empty pocket if you listen to what Flair just said. Page says he has his own backup (fans: “GOLDBERG! GOLDBERG!”): Bam Bam Bigelow. We’re having a new champion tonight because Flair says so.

DJ Ran.

We get a sitdown interview with Bischoff, who talks about WCW being #1 for 88 straight weeks. Now things are more competitive though so he needs to get back on track. He’s learned from his mistakes and won’t make them again.

We get a video on Kevin Nash challenging Bret Hart for a match on the Tonight Show. Meaning a ring would be set up in the Tonight Show studio and the match will air on NBC one night at 11:30.

More Eric, this time talking about him not being sure if he had authority at Slamboree, but knowing it was the right thing. Nick Patrick was right too.

We cut back to the announcers….who throw it back to the Bischoff interview. WCW gave him the big break he needed in 1993 and now it’s time to give back.

Piper and Bischoff arrive.

Tenay is now on commentary.

Bret Hart will be on the Tonight Show tomorrow night to respond to Nash. However, he will NOT be on WCW TV anytime soon.

Clips of Gorgeous George vs. Charles Robinson.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Evan Karagias

First match and it’s only forty minutes into the show. Rey is defending and the ring looks bigger than usual. They start off awkward with Rey sending him into the corner but stumbling, followed by Evan messing up a Flair Flip and having to jump to the apron instead. Evan misses a springboard spinwheel kick and gets covered for two before hitting a springboard cross body for two of his own. Rey knocks him into the corner for the Bronco Buster before a top rope hurricanrana retains the title. I waited 40 minutes for a two minute opener?

We go to Flair’s office and in walks…..Sgt. Buddy Lee Parker? Ric offers Parker an office and a secretary if Parker lays down for David tonight. See, every promoter has pushed their kids and Flair is going to push David down the fans’ throats until they’re sick of him. His words actually. Parker agrees and Ric brings in Torrie and David to explain his plan. Flirting with Torrie ensues of course.

Here’s Booker T. to talk about the TV Title situation at Slamboree. He doesn’t care about Stevie Ray, because he wants to fight Rick Steiner for the title tonight. Not much more to this one.

David Flair vs. Sgt. Buddy Lee Parker

Robinson is refereeing in Flair trunks and a regular shirt. For those of you that don’t remember him, Parker is a career jobber who later became an insane trainer in WCW. He’s the guy that told Batista he had no future in wrestling. Parker grabs a headlock to start and gets one off a clothesline. They head into the corner where Sarge can hammer away even more, drawing the Horsemen up to the apron. Flair misses a horrible elbow drop but Buddy misses a top rope knee drop. The Figure Four makes Parker give up. Well more like Charles rings the bell as soon as the hold goes on but whatever. Parker sells the heck out of the leg.

Charles Robinson/Ric Flair vs. Gorgeous George/Randy Savage

Why Flair and Robinson went to the back instead of just staying in the ring isn’t clear, though I’d assume it’s so there won’t be as much time to spend on wrestling. Flair grabs the mic and says he wants George out here at ringside for the next match. Apparently Madusa will be taking the place of an injured George. So why mention George in the first place?

Charles Robinson/Ric Flair vs. Madusa/Randy Savage

Savage says Flair and Robinson will pay for injuring George’s knee. Robinson struts a bit before locking up with Madusa. She easily takes over with an armdrag and leg sweep, drawing in the big guys to stare at each other. Robinson actually springboards off the middle rope into an armdrag to take her down but Madusa takes his head off with a forearm.

Off to Savage vs. Flair for the biggest reaction of the night so far. I mean it even beats Evan Karagias’s pop. Savage hammers away in the corner but Flair kicks him in the knee and tags in Robinson. This goes as well as you would expect with Robinson being thrown across the ring and then getting beaten up by Madusa. A kneeling piledriver (a tombstone but with Robinson facing the crowd) puts him down again and it’s off to Flair. Madusa takes him down and rides him around the ring, only to get belly to backed down.

Ric goes after the leg but gets small packaged for two. Another belly to back sets up the Figure Four but Savage comes in to break it up. The distraction lets Madusa hit Flair low and bring in Savage to clean house. Big and Little Naitch get slammed off the top rope and Madusa beats up Ric on the floor. Randy goes up and drops the elbow on Robinson, cracking some of Charles’ vertebrae and collapsing his lung in the process, for the pin.

Rating: D. Remember at Slamboree where George and Robinson tried really hard and had a watchable match? Well this was nothing like that. There were a lot of botches and near botches with Savage’s actually causing a bad injury. The springboard armdrag does make things a little bit better though. I mean, IT’S CHARLES ROBINSON DOING A SPRINGBOARD ARMDRAG.

DJ Ran.

Gene brings out Piper to talk about the whole presidency ordeal, which is all that seems to be happening on this show. After sucking up to the Iowa crowd, Piper has a top ten list for why Flair shouldn’t be President. Some of the highlights, read off a piece of paper:

5. Flair thinks Hilary Clinton is the Phantom Menace.

8. He made Dr. Kevorkian want to commit suicide.

10. The Nitro Girls say he’s now the 60 second scab.

Now Piper wants Bischoff to come out so he can yell about not buying Eric’s apology. Ignore that Eric was out before Piper even said his name. Gene says Bischoff is still an executive, even though he doesn’t seem to have any actual power. Eric apologizes for what he’s done over the years and vows to turn everything around. This brings out Savage who demands Bischoff give him a title shot tonight.

Piper tells Savage to wait his turn so George hits him with the crutch and Savage piledrives him. Savage slams Bischoff and loads up the big elbow but Nash comes out to break it up. Randy throws out a challenge to Nash and thinks Nash should just hand the belt over. Nash implies that the girls are hookers and says handing the belt over before was a political move. He accepts the challenge for a title match at some point in the future.

Clips from the three main events at Slamboree.

Hardcore Hak vs. Fit Finlay

Somehow this sounds like a welcome change of pace. That’s how far I’ve sunk. This is set up by Hak babbling about being hardcore and Finlay popping up on the screen to challenge him. They hit each other with the mic and then a kendo stick before Hak brings in a ladder. Finlay nails him in the head with it a few times and we take a break.

Back with Finlay being bulldogged through a table before he hits Hak in the throat with some kendo stick shots. Finlay flipts him into the ladder in the corner and goes to hit him low but Nick Patrick won’t allow it. Wouldn’t that be within the rules of this match? Finlay beats on Hak even more and hits his low blow until Knobs comes out to send both guys through tables. Patrick throws it out and this feud MUST CONTINUE!

Rating: F. So hardcore means most stuff is legal but not everything, Brian Knobs is still getting a push, Hak is still getting paid to pretend he’s a “wrestler”, they’re still fighting each other in circles, and now we’re not even getting winners to these messes. This is what I sat through after an hour of Nash/Piper/Flair/Savage. I’ll take the Test vs. Meat match that was going on over on Raw at this point any day.

TV Title: Booker T. vs. Rick Steiner

This HAS to be better. Rick will suck like he has after 1995 or so but Booker is bound to be…..unconscious in the back. Steiner says Booker can’t beat anyone without his brother and issues an open challenge to the locker room. Cue Sting for a brawl around ringside with Steiner in early trouble. We actually get a bell so I guess we have a title match.

TV Title: Rick Steiner vs. Sting

Sting does his bulldog but misses the Stinger Splash. Rick pounds on him in the corner and on the mat but Sting just pops up. They fight to the floor, only to have Sting get sent into the post. The floor mats are peeled back and Rick loads up a suplex onto the concrete. As is almost always the case, Sting reverses to prevent a probably concussion and chokes Rick with the TV cable. They head back inside where Sting hammers away with clotheslines until Scott Steiner comes out to yell at Sting. Cue Lex Luger to save his buddy as the match is thrown out with no one actually interfering.

Rating: D-. This was much more of a brawl than a match but somehow this might have been the most entertaining thing all night. Why we need to set up Rick Steiner vs. Sting and old guys vs. old guys is something only WCW could answer, but hopefully Booker gets to do something interesting soon.

Luger and Sting send the Steiners running as we’re flashing back to SuperBrawl I.

Konnan vs. Curt Hennig

Feeling out process to start with Hennig doing a random cartwheel before getting bulldogged down. A basement dropkick does the same and Konnan hammers away in the corner. Curt comes back with chops in the corner but gets chopped down as well. Hennig goes to the floor, tells Heenan he’s wearing new boots, and pulls his singlet aside to seemingly check his nipple.

On that we go to a break and come back with Konnan hammering away in the corner. Curt takes him down and stomps at the head a bit which isn’t as interesting as examining his nipples. A VERY lout chop puts Konnan down in the corner and some choking gets two. Hennig starts working on the leg with an Indian deathlock as this continues to be all over the place. The referee breaks it up for Hennig putting his hands on him so Curt keeps stoming away.

Off to another leg lock but the referee breaks it because…..why did he break that hold? Konnan wasn’t in the ropes and there’s no hair to pull. Back to the corner for more chops but Konnan comes back with a catapult into the buckle. The referee goes down and here’s Savage AGAIN to go after Konnan because he’s Nash’s buddy. At least Savage explained this one on the way to the ring. Hennig knocks Konnan to the floor and Savage sends him into the steps, setting up the HennigPlex for the pin.

Rating: D. You know, I’m a pretty big Randy Savage fan and have been for years. He used to live in Lexington and my uncle worked out at the same gym that he and Lanny Poffo worked out at. I really like the guy, but I’m SICK of him on this show! The guy is taking over the show on this night and it’s getting really dull to watch. On top of that the match was a mess with the guys being on different pages and doing little more than chopping for most of the match.

Tag Team Titles: Raven/Saturn vs. Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko

Raven and Saturn are defending and have Kanyon with them. Dean and Saturn feel each other out to start until Malenko is sent out to the floor and Saturn superkicks an invading Benoit down. A big dive takes Chris out again and Malenko gets caught by something like Total Elimination but with a clothesline instead of a kick to the face. Back to Benoit who slugs it out with Raven, who actually gets the better of it. He puts Benoit on his shoulders for a cross body from Saturn for two as the fans are finally into something tonight.

Chris comes back with a hard clothesline and tags out to Malenko, who quickly walks into a t-bone suplex. The champions hammer away even more before Raven hooks a chinlock on Dean. Malenko fights up and brings in Benoit who unloads on Raven with chops. That’s fine with Raven who comes back with Three Amigos and a tag to Saturn for a guillotine legdrop.

Back from a break with Dean leg lariating Raven but getting rolled up for two. Benoit gets two off a snap suplex before hammering away in the corner. Raven just crawls over and makes the tag to Malenko as the announcers talk about the Steiners vs. Luger/Sting. Heaven forbid they talk about the Tag Team Title match right in front of them. Saturn gets sent to the floor for a brawl with Malenko but has to sidestep a baseball slide, sending it right into Dean instead.

Back inside and the Horsemen start in on Saturn’s knee as the fans are all over the challengers. Benoit cranks on the knee and Dean comes back in to stomp away at it. Now the fans think this is boring because their minds have been so numbed by Piper and Savage that they don’t recognize a good match in front of them. Saturn comes back with a release belly to belly suplex and makes the tag to Raven.

Kanyon hands him a chair but it’s quickly thrown to the floor as Raven front suplexes Dean for a top rope splash from Saturn. Everything breaks down and Benoit suplexes Raven but misses the Swan Dive. Kanyon gets on the apron, accidentally allowing Anderson to nail Raven with the tire iron. Dean goes up but Kanyon shoves him into the Death Valley Driver to retain the titles.

Rating: B-. It’s not a great match but this was pure gold after the disaster that I’ve had to sit through for the last two hours. Hopefully this moves Raven and Saturn off to some new challengers and the Horsemen off to a higher spot on the card so we can get some fresh blood up there. Good back and forth match here with all four guys hitting each other very hard.

We follow the champions all the way to the back where Bam Bam Bigelow is watching. He and Kanyon jaw a bit.

WCW’s graphics continue to suck as we see Nash with the title superimposed over his shoulder and his arms crossed. At least tuck the strap under the arms.

WCW World Title: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Kevin Nash

Another PPV title match you don’t have to pay for. They slug it out to start with Nash taking him into the corner for some elbows to the face. A big clothesline puts Page on the floor but he’s quickly back in to get forearmed in the face. Another clothesline gets two for Nash but Bam Bam Bigelow comes out for a distraction. Page hits a clothesline of his own for two and Nash is in trouble. He chokes the champion with some tape before going to the top for a flying clothesline. Popular move in this match.

Off to a nerve hold and a chinlock on Nash as the cameraman slips with no one near him. A swinging neckbreaker and Russian legsweep get two each for Page. Nash sends him into Bigelow on the apron and busts out a rollup for two. A big boot drops Page and here’s Bigelow into the ring to get beaten up as well. Savage runs out to jump Nash and that’s a DQ to retain the title.

Rating: D+. Ton of clotheslines aside, this was one of the more watchable matches of the night. Page is likely on his way out of the main event and into a tag team with Bigelow, which is about as random of a pairing as you could ask for at this point in WCW. Yeah they’re both from New Jersey but Bigelow has been in hardcore matches for months while Page has been World Champion. Bigelow is a decent enough choice for an enforcer so it’s not bad, just odd.

All three hammer on Nash and the girls hand Savage lipstick to put on Nash’s face. A fan runs in and gets beaten down. Savage drops the big elbow to end the show.

Overall Rating: F+. If not for that tag match, this would be one of the worst shows I’ve ever seen. Between the endless Savage vs. Nash stuff that we’re going to have another month of to the horrible Cruiserweight Title match to hardcore matches being thrown out and Booker being laid out in the back, this was a very long show to sit through. We’re firmly in the horrible period for WCW now, and the fact that it’s only going to get worse for a long time terrifies me.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Thunder
Date: May 6, 1999
Location: Bryce Jordan Center, State College, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko

It’s the go home show for Slamboree and things are getting bad around here. Between the nonsensical stories and the boring matches leading up to a show that has barely been hyped outside of the main event, I’m not really looking forward to a two hour taped Thunder. The fact that we only have five matches doesn’t make me feel much better. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Page winning the title back last week.

Video on Nash vs. Page.

Video on Piper vs. Flair.

Scotty Riggs/Mike Enos vs. Raven/Saturn

Raven’s Rules and Saturn has a taped up shoulder from Benoit’s attack on Monday. Raven does his usual WHAT ABOUT ME before the match and says they’ll be champions on Sunday. He starts with Mike and quickly takes over before bringing in Saturn. The bald one nails Enos in the head with a kick before bringing Raven back in for something like Ascension’s Fall of Man. In other words, a Total Elimination ripoff. They follow that up with the same move but with Saturn superkicking Enos down.

Mike finally goes after THE BIG BANDAGE on Saturn’s shoulder to take over. Off to Riggs who gets caught in a release belly to belly because he’s not that good. Saturn tags out but goes up top for a splash, only to hurt his shoulder even more. The heels take over and send Raven outside for a hot shot onto the barricade. Some chair shots have him in even more trouble and a legdrop gets two for Enos.

We take a break and come back with Riggs dropping a knee to Raven’s face and doing the Rude hip swivel. Riggs chokes a lot and tags out to Enos for some trash talk and not much else. Back to Riggs who sends Raven into the barricade a few more times and grabs a chair. Enos holds Raven up but winds up getting nailed by his worthless partner. Raven dropkicks the chair back into Riggs’ face and nails the drop toehold onto the chair for two. Back up and Raven grabs the Evenflow on Riggs but Enos makes the save. The hot tag brings in Saturn for the Death Valley Driver on Riggs for the pin.

Rating: D+. Sweet goodness Riggs was bad. The narcissist gimmick isn’t doing anything for him and the lack of skill really is showing. It says a lot when Buff Bagwell was the one carrying the team but it’s very clear that’s what happened with the American Males. Raven and Saturn shouldn’t have been in that much trouble three days before a title match.

Long video on Piper, leading to him making Page vs. Sting a week ago. We see a good chunk of the match too, which is a lot more interesting than anything else we’re likely to see tonight.

Rick Steiner vs. Erik Watts

Rick yells at Charles Robinson because he’s mean and evil I guess. After some pointless stalling from Watts, Rick quickly takes him down but Erik cranks on the arm. Back up and Rick nails him with a forearm before taking him back to the mat with an armdrag. Steiner finally wakes up and realizes it’s Erik Watts so he nails a belly to belly.

Rick takes him into the corner for a clean break, then takes him into the corner again and knees Watts in the ribs. Pick a side already dude. Watts is sent into the barricade and steps before a German supelx gets two. We hit the chinlock with some crossface shots before choking gets two for Rick. Back up again and a powerslam drops Watts before the Steiner Bulldog knocks him out. Rick puts on something like an STF if he was just bent over instead of laying down for the submission.

Rating: D. Remember back in 1992 when Watts was really bad but they put him in the ring with talented guys? Well he’s still really bad and now they’re putting him in the ring with washed up guys who aren’t interested in doing anything but hitting the other guy harder than he needs to. Naturally, this earns Rick a title shot on Sunday because why not.

Another long video from last week’s Nitro with a focus on the four corners match.

Video on Sting vs. Goldberg, mostly from the four corners match. They’re getting mileage out of that one.

Video on Robinson vs. George.

Disorderly Conduct vs. Brian Adams/Horace

Oh COME ON. Horace chops Mike in the corner to start and nails a Vader style clothesline. Mike tries an armdrag and a slam before cranking on the arm. Off to Tom who works on the arm as well, only to get caught by a clothesline. Adams comes in for a double elbow and some right hands. Riveting stuff here. The tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two on Tom and Mike charges in and earns a gorilla press. Mike and Tom bail to the floor and get beaten up out there as well because the Black and White is TOUGH.

Brian and Mike get back in so Tom can trip Adams from the floor to take over. Tom gets two off a jawbreaker but Adams breaks through a double clothesline and tags in Horace. We get an assortment of kicks, punches and choking from Horace before Mike gets beaten down in the corner even more. Back to Adams for a spinebuster for two on Mike with Tom making the save. Horace comes back in and misses a charge, allowing for the hot (?) tag to Tom. He fights as much as he can but crotches himself on the top. A spike piledriver is enough to pin Mike.

Rating: D. I’d make a joke here about how this is supposed to make me want to pay $30 for a pay per view, but these matches have drained me of any sarcasm I might be able to provide. This show feels like a dumping ground for wrestlers that WCW doesn’t want to keep on the payroll but they have to anyway due to contractual obligations. Why else would this be happening?

Kanyon vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

This HAS to be better. Or as least more interesting. This is Kanyon’s first match back in about three months due to making a movie. Rey declines a handshake. Does he think he’s better than Kanyon or something? Kanyon takes him into the corner but gets put down with an armdrag. Rey tries to speeds things up with a moonsault press but Kanyon catches him in midair. Instead it’s a headscissors to put Kanyon down and a dropkick sends him outside. Rey does the 619 taunt but Kanyon is busy posing in front of a WHO BETTER THAN KANYON sign.

Back in and Kanyon nails some forearms before countering a hurricanrana by sending Rey throat first onto the ropes. We take a break and come back with a headscissors putting Kanyon down. A springboard is caught in a nice backbreaker for two and we hit the chinlock. Rey gets sent outside and they trade whips into the barricade. That’s a very popular move tonight. Kanyon is busted open a bit so we stop the closeups.

A hurricanrana off the apron drops Kanyon again and they head back inside. Kanyon nails a boot to the face but misses a top rope splash. The Bronco Buster connects and the top rope legdrop to the back of the head gets two. Rey’s leapfrog is countered into a powerbomb followed by a kind of sitout Dominator. You knew Kanyon was going to have something new. Kanyon misses a moonsault and gets caught by the top rope seated senton. The Horsemen try to run in but Rey nails them both and grabs a victory roll for the pin.

Rating: C+. Way better than anything else we’ve sat through on this show, even though it wasn’t all that great. Kanyon is almost always entertaining and Rey was his usual self. Thankfully the announcers mentioned that Kidman was at a personal appearance so there’s a reason for him not being here.

Post match the Horsemen get in and crush Rey’s knee between the post and the steps.

Texas Hangmen vs. Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko

The Hangmen are in masks and look like Mike and Tom from earlier. Good chance it’s them actually. The masked men jump the Horsemen to start and send them out to the floor, which isn’t likely the best career move. Back in and the Hangmen are whipped into each other and it’s Dean starting with let’s say #1. Dean starts on the knee as is his custom before bringing in Benoit for a LOUD chop and more knee work.

They head outside with Benoit putting the knee over the barricade for a dropkick from Malenko. Back in for the dragon screw leg whip from Benoit and more kicks and basic holds from Dean. #1 is sent to the floor and the Hangmen try to switch but get caught by Robinson. Back in and #1 misses a clothesline, earning him some Rolling Germans. #1 tries a small package but Robinson wasn’t paying attention.

Back to Dean for some knee work and trash talk for Mysterio. This is a really good display of the Horsemen style with Benoit and Malenko just torturing the limb with every possible method of working over a knee. A knee crusher puts #1 down and the Horsemen quickly alternate and hammer on the knee. Something like an Indian Deathlock makes #1 scream so Dean mocks him from the apron. When did Malenko learn to be funny? Back to Dean who charges into a knee in the corner and it’s finally off to #2. He cleans a few rooms of the house but walks into a belly to belly, setting up the Cloverleaf for the submission.

Rating: C. I could watch the Horsemen pick apart a limb for days. I’m not sure why I’d do that, but it’s far more interesting than seeing the NWO vs. Disorderly Conduct. This was a good way of building up the Horsmen for Sunday, unlike the opener where Raven and Saturn were in way too much trouble.

Video on Page vs. Nash. I believe this is the same one from earlier.

Now for the main event (Tenay’s words): the big Savage/Flair/Robinson/George bit from Nitro followed by the entire Page vs. Flair match.

One more Slamboree ad and we’re out.

Overall Rating: F+. I know a modern criticism of Smackdown is it’s mostly replays from Raw, but this actually was mostly replays from Nitro. Taking out commercials, I believe over half of the TV time tonight was spent airing clips from Monday. I didn’t like the show the first time and I really didn’t like seeing it again on a bad show. This was a waste of time and Slamboree better be an improvement.

Remember there’s no Nitro or Thunder this week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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