Wrestlemania
Date: March 31, 1985
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 19,121
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura
National Anthem: Gene Okerlund

We’re at forty years since the show first took place and that is more than worth another look. In case you don’t know your history (and you should), this is the apex of the Rock N Wrestling Connection that launched the company into the stratosphere in the 1980s. The huge main event is Hulk Hogan and Mr. T. teaming up to face Roddy Piper and Paul Orndorff. This is the definition of an all time spectacle show, even if it’s really little more than a huge house show for its day. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence, which is more like opening credits to a movie, showing the upcoming matches.

Gene Okerlund sings the National Anthem, which was reportedly a replacement for a more well known (yet unnamed) singer who pulled out at the last minute.

Tito Santana is ready to face the Executioner, even though he doesn’t know much about him. No one is going to stop him from achieving his goals, whatever those might be.

The Executioner gives a rambling promo about how he’s going after Santana’s leg, which had been banged up in recent weeks. That’s ALL he’ll be doing as he proves that he’s a big leaguer. This was pretty terrible, but Executioner was hardly some revolutionary or deep gimmick.

Tito Santana vs. The Executioner

Monsoon doesn’t know anything about the Executioner, other than he’s undefeated. He’s also Buddy Rose under a mask but that’s not exactly something you bring up here. They run the ropes to start and Santana sends him to the floor as commentary talks about how amazed they are by this whole show. All six minutes of it so far! Back in and Santana works on the arm but gets sent into the corner, followed by a headbutt, which Monsoon speculates could be one of Executioner’s signature moves. Not that they can tell anyway, though that doesn’t sound like ONLY going after the leg.

Thankfully Executioner does start in on said leg but Santana kicks him away. Executioner goes up and gets slammed down, only to get his knees up to block a splash. Santana kicks him over the top though and hits the flying forearm back inside. The Figure Four makes Executioner give up at 5:39, with the timekeeper taking forever to ring the bell for some reason.

Rating: C-. And that’s how Wrestlemania starts, with a glorified squash. Santana talked about being mad at Vince McMahon over starting the show when he had headlined Madison Square Garden before, but Vince said that was the point: yeah you’re a headliner, but this show is big enough that you’re just the opening match. I’m not sure how realistic that is based on the show we’ll be getting, but DANG that’s a great response.

SD Jones is ready to get down with King Kong Bundy.

Bundy, with Jimmy Hart, thinks it makes sense that the biggest man on wrestling is on the biggest show in history.

SD Jones vs. King Kong Bundy

Bundy drives him in the corner, hits the Avalanche splash, drops another splash and wins at 24 seconds. For reasons of “wrestling likes to hype things up to a ridiculous degree”, they call it 9 seconds. Monsoon even says the previous record was 23 seconds, but instead of dropping 2 seconds off to say 22 seconds, they had to go ridiculous and look silly.

Matt Borne is ready for Ricky Steamboat.

Ricky Steamboat is ready for Matt Borne.

Ricky Steamboat vs. Matt Borne

Borne is better known as the original Doink The Clown and was a noted head case. They lock up to start until Steamboat starts chopping away to take over. An atomic drop gives us the classic 80s sell job, with Steamboat even mocking Borne a bit. Borne gets in a running knee to take over but Steamboat kicks his way out of the corner without much effort. Back up and Borne grabs some suplexes, only for Steamboat to come back with a belly to back suplex of his own. A neckbreaker and knee drop set up the high crossbody to finish for Steamboat at 4:39.

Rating: C. Not a bad match at all with Borne feeling a bit better than the usual jobbers trotted out here. Steamboat was clearly still establishing himself but the talent and look were more than enough to make it work. The crossbody at the end was quite the leap and Steamboat looked good all the way through.

David Sammartino is ready to shut Brutus Beefcake up. Bruno Sammartino threatens Luscious Johnny Valiant with violence.

Johnny Valiant isn’t going to be threatened and Beefcake says nothing, by design.

David Sammartino vs. Brutus Beefcake

Bruno Sammartino and Luscious Johnny Valiant are here too. The bell rings but we have to wait for the sake of Valiant disrobing Beefcake. After over a minute of stalling, they lock up with Beefcake shoving him into the corner. David’s attempt at a lockup only meets Beefcake’s strut as commentary suggests that a loss here could set either of their careers back up to two years. That’s uh, quite the stretch.

Anyway, David wins a wrestle off and Johnny swears the David is too oiled up. David armdrags his way out of a slam and gets some advice from Bruno. That advice: “Find a new line of work. You’re not very good at this.” Beefcake comes back with a headlock, with David having to power out before working on the legs. The leg cranking continues, with David working on a spinning toehold to keep things on the mat.

A rake to the eyes gets Beefcake out of trouble and he hammers away, slowly of course, as we wouldn’t want this to be interesting. David fights up but gets tossed outside, where Johnny gets in a slam on the floor. Bruno comes over for the save and everyone brawls inside for the double DQ at 11:43.

Rating: D+. There’s really no way around it: David was not very good. There was nothing that made him stand out in the slightest, other than his last name of course, and that’s all he was running on. It’s great to see Bruno on the show, but he was only there because of his son, with vice versa being true as well.

Post match the Sammartinos clear the ring, followed by a rare botch from Fink, who says both teams were disqualified.

Greg Valentine is ready to show how great he really is.

Junkyard Dog thinks he could buy a lot of bones when he wins the Intercontinental Title. Uh yeah. Bones.

Intercontinental Title: Junkyard Dog vs. Greg Valentine

Valentine, with Jimmy Hart, is defending. They circle each other a bit to start before Dog starts working on the arm. A shot to the face drops Valentine, who misses a forearm to keep him in trouble. Dog does the all fours headbutts, which have Valentine on the apron for a needed breather.

Back in and Valentine starts in on the arm before switching over to the leg, which is more his style. Dog fights up and punches his way out of the corner, setting up even more headbutts (which work rather well for him). Valentine does the big face first fall and the fans are rather pleased.

Hart gets up on the apron but accidentally gets dropped by Valentine….who rolls Dog up and puts his feet on the ropes to retain at 6:00. Hold on though as here is Tito Santana to tell the referee what happened, which is apparently enough to restart the match. Not that it matters as Valentine just stays on the floor for the countout at 6:55.

Rating: C-. Dog’s all fours headbutts are always amusing for some reason but that’s about all there was here. The match wasn’t very long and that’s probably because leaving the Dog out there for much longer wasn’t going to be a good idea. It didn’t help that Valentine’s big feud at the time was with Tito Santana, so this didn’t feel like an important title defense anyway.

The Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff are ready to win the Tag Team Titles.

Captain Lou Albano hopes the US Express can retain the titles. How lame does that sound?

Tag Team Titles: Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff vs. US Express

The Express, with Captain Lou Albano (as canceled out by Classy Freddie Blassie), is defending. Rotunda and the Sheik start things off with Rotunda wasting no time in taking him over off a headlock. Windham comes in with a top rope elbow before avoiding Sheik’s running boot, which hits Volkoff by mistake. Volkoff is fine enough to come in, where he gets headlocked just as fast.

The Express start taking turns on Volkoff’s arm but Sheik gets a boot up in the corner to cut Rotunda off. Sheik’s gutwrench suplex (that needs to be used more often) connects but Rotunda is right back with a suplex of his own. The abdominal stretch goes on, allowing Monsoon to get in his first ever Wrestlemania complaint about the execution. That’s broken up and it’s back to Windham to clean house, including a nice dropkick to Volkoff. The bulldog connects but Sheik makes the save as everything breaks down. In the melee, Windham gets hit with Blassie’s cane and Volkoff gets the pin and the titles at 6:56.

Rating: C. This was the “let’s get a title change on the show to make it feel historic” and that’s fine. Volkoff and the Sheik were a rather nice foreign heel team, with Sheik being a former WWF Champion giving them a bit more legitimacy. They didn’t hold the titles long, but they lasted another two years as a team, which isn’t half bad.

In the back, the new champions are happy and Blassie has no idea about any cane. Never seen it at all.

Big John Studd, with Bobby Heenan, is ready to prove that he is a real giant by retiring Andre The Giant. It’s Andre’s career against Studd’s $15,000 in a Bodyslam Match. The only thing I can think of: dang that is a nice WWF duffle bag.

Big John Studd vs. Andre The Giant

Bobby Heenan (wearing a different suit than in the interview from earlier in the day) is here with Studd, you win by slamming your opponent and it’s $15,000 vs. Andre’s career. Studd jumps him to start and hammers away in the corner but a single headbutt sends him to the floor. Back in and Andre backs him into the corner for the big hips to the ribs.

They grapple against the ropes, which starts a SLAM chant as things slow WAY down. Andre grabs a bearhug and then a headlock as Monsoon thinks you need to absolutely destroy Andre to end his career. Or just slam him. For some reason Andre works on the arm before kicking away at the leg. Then Andre just slams him for the win at 5:54.

Rating: D-. Yeah this was pretty terrible, with the pop for the slam being the only thing of note. The problem here, in addition to the two of them not doing much, is how do you build up a match like this? A slam is such a basic move so there isn’t much that can be done to set it up. The fans loved Andre, but dang this didn’t work.

Post match Andre grabs the bag and gives away some of the money, but Heenan steals the bag back and runs off with it. Monsoon: “He absconded with the funds!”

In the back, Andre is happy with his win and we fade away with him still talking. Well that’s rude.

Wendi Richter, with Cyndi Lauper, is ready to win the Women’s Title back. Lauper knows how to be a manager now!

Women’s Champion Lelani Kai, with the Fabulous Moolah, is ready to retain.

Women’s Title: Lelani Kai vs. Wendi Richter

Kai, with the Fabulous Moolah, is defending and Cyndi Lauper is here with Richter. This might not seem like much but this is the fallout from the angle that led to the whole show starting in the first place. Lauper helps Richter beat Moolah for the title but Kai cheated to take it away, meaning it’s time for the rematch. After a semi-famous shot of Lauper and Richter running from the back to the ring, down that famous blue hallway, we’re ready to go.

They fight over a lockup to start and Kai powers her into the corner, only to get forearmed straight back down. A fight over arm control goes to Richter and Kai taps over and over, which isn’t going to mean anything for about eight more years. Back up and Kai grabs her own armbar, allowing her to crank away for a long time. Back up and Richter drives her into the corner, where Moolah and Lauper get into it on the floor. Richter grabs a fireman’s carry slam but runs into some knees in the corner. Kai goes up for a high crossbody but Richter rolls through for the pin and the title at 6:11.

Rating: D. The pop at the end was great but that was the end of the positives. I know women’s wrestling was in a VERY different place at this point, but this one didn’t have much in the way of positives. Even the ending wasn’t well done and Richter looked more like she stole the title rather than beating Kai.

Post match the heroes celebrate in a big moment.

In the back, Richter and company are happy with the win. Richter may have been a star, but dang she isn’t much of a talker.

It’s main event time so Billy Martin (former New York Yankees manager on a number of occasions) is brought in as the guest ring announcer. We get guest timekeeper Liberace, who comes to the ring with the Rockettes for the kicks. If that’s not enough, Muhammad Ali is the guest referee to quite the hero’s welcome. Well the guest outside referee but that’s fine enough.

Hulk Hogan/Mr. T. vs. Roddy Piper/Paul Orndorff

Piper and Orndorff are played to the ring by a pipe and rum band because they’re the biggest villains in the world. We don’t get any recap here, but in short, Piper went after Cyndi Lauper, she got Hogan to help her, Orndorff helped Piper, Mr. T. jumped the barricade, they needed a special show for the blowoff, Wrestlemania is born. Jimmy Snuka and Bob Orton are the seconds to make it an even bigger spectacle.

The place just goes nuts for Hogan, and we get another famous shot as the good guys walk through the back for their entrance. Hogan and Orndorff start things off but Piper comes in and T. wants to join him. They come in and slap it out until Piper wrestles him to the mat without much trouble. T. kind of wrestles out and they stare at each other again. A fireman’s carry slam puts Piper in the corner and everything breaks down, with Ali, Orton and Snuka all coming in, with Ali swinging at Piper and Orton.

The villains tease leaving but they come back in for a double noggin knocker. An atomic drop puts Piper down and Hogan bounces his head off the mat. Back up and a rake to the eye gives Piper a breather and Hogan is sent outside for a slam on the floor. A chair to the back has Hogan in real trouble and a double atomic drop back inside makes it worse. Orndorff misses a top rope elbow though and the hot tag brings in T. as everything breaks down.

Piper front facelocks T. down again as he’s making sure to show that T. can’t wrestle at all. That’s broken up and Hogan comes back in, only to get caught with a suplex. Orton comes in so Snuka decks him and is immediately taken out. Orndorff grabs Hogan and Orton goes up but the top rope cast shot hits Orndorff by mistake to give Hogan the pin at 13:34.

Rating: C+. It’s the definition of a spectacle match and that’s all it needed to be. This was about having Hogan and T. getting their hands raised in way or another and they made that happen. T. was pretty much nothing and didn’t do anything important but stand there, which is probably best for everyone. The ending wasn’t in any serious doubt and that’s not a bad thing in a spot like this.

Post match Piper decks referee Pat Patterson and leaves, with Orndorff being left alone in the ring with everyone else. Orndorff finally leaves and posing/awkward standing around ensues.

The celebration continues in the back with T. talking about how he was training for weeks but this was still hard. Hogan praises T. and Snuka and says they all reign supreme. Snuka calls it a pleasure for him to have been in their corner.

The arena empties out and commentary wraps things up.

A stills package and the credits finish the night.

Overall Rating: C. Here’s the thing: this show is not about the wrestling, which was ok at best with a lot of matches that weren’t particularly good. The point of this show was that it happened and was presented as a major event, especially the star studded main event. This show was supposed to be the biggest event ever in wrestling and while it might not have actually been that big, it FELT that big and that’s what matters more than anything else. It’s the definition of a show that you should probably see at least once, even if it’s mediocre at best. Middle of the road show, but all time wrestling event.

 

 

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The Big Event
Date: August 28, 1986
Location: Exhibition Stadium, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 61,470
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Johnny Valiant, Ernie Ladd

So in March 1987, Wrestlemania III completely redefined the idea of a major wrestling show. However, less than a year earlier, there was this show, which is often forgotten by comparison. It is headlined by a major showdown between Hulk Hogan and Paul Orndorff, which is an absolutely red hot feud. Let’s get to it.

Note that this is the Coliseum Video version of the show, which features a bunch of cuts to get it under two hours.

Gene Okerlund is in a helicopter over Toronto and we get some random short clips from the show. This is described as “the WWF and Hulkamania come to Toronto” in case you didn’t know what this was really about. We also hear about some of the card, which is always nice.

Funks vs. Killer Bees

Jimmy Hart is here with the Funks (Jimmy Jack/Hoss, the latter being better known as Dory Jr.). Hoss and Blair start things off with Blair taking over off some early slams. The Funks already need a breather on the floor before getting back inside for a double noggin knocker. Jack headlocks Brunzell and is promptly slammed down as well. Back in again and a crossbody gets two on Hoss before Blair cranks on the arm.

Hoss finally gets in an elbow and hands it back to Jack, who is taken into the wrong corner again. A sleeper has Jack in more trouble as Monsoon gets on Johnny V for cheering for the Funks. Hoss comes back in and sends Blair outside to FINALLY take over. Then the Bees do their mask deal and change spot, with Brunzell coming in for a clothesline to Hoss. Jack breaks up an abdominal stretch and the Bees switch again, with a small package finishing Jack at 6:43.

Rating: C. Nothing to see here, with the Bees’ cheating continuing to be a weird way to go. It’s a total heel move but for some reason it was supposed to be cheered. I’ve never gotten that as it never felt right. Just a basic opener, though the fans didn’t seem thrilled with seeing the Bees cheat multiple times to win.

Magnificent Muraco vs. King Tonga

Mr. Fuji is here with Muraco. We’re clipped into somewhere in the match with Tonga grabbing a hiptoss and a slam to send Muraco scurrying (yes scurrying) outside. We get a shot of a young fan as Muraco comes back in for some stalling. A dropkick sends Muraco outside again before Tonga starts in on the arm. Muraco’s monkey flip doesn’t work (Johnny: “Oopsie doopsie doo!”) and the arm cranking continues.

Fuji trips Tonga/Haku (as commentary keeps switching between the names) down to take over before Muraco sends him outside for a cane shot. Back in and we hit the nerve hold as we might as well be counting down to the time limit draw. About five arm drops don’t go anywhere so Tonga fights up and wins a strike off.

Muraco avoids a charge into the corner though and the leg is wrapped around the post. Back in and Muraco stays on the leg, setting up the Figure Four. With that broken up, Muraco goes up but gets slammed down. Tonga strikes away and hits a clothesline, followed by a high crossbody, only for time to expire at 11:24 shown of 20:00.

Rating: C-. It’s not exactly the most interesting match in the first place and I can’t imagine what it was like to have it go on almost twice at long. Throw in the fact that they were pretty clearly just filling time until the ending and it was even weaker. They did a nice job of hiding the clips, but it wasn’t an entertaining match in the first place.

Ted Arcidi vs. Tony Garea

Arcidi, a power guy, shoves Garea around without much trouble to start. Garea’s running shoulders don’t work as Arcidi is mainly just standing there. An elbow drops Garea but he kicks Arcidi in the face. The dropkick puts Arcidi down but he’s right back with a bearhug for the win at 2:40. Arcidi was horrible and this showed it even more.

Jimmy Hart has Adrian Adonis ready to face the Junkyard Dog and Hart is ready to get his revenge.

Adrian Adonis vs. Junkyard Dog

Jimmy Hart is here with Adonis, who jumps Dog before the bell. Dog fights back with the chain and Adonis is busted open for some headbutts to leave him rocked early. Adonis is headbutted to the floor, where another headbutt staggers him again. Dog headbutts him on the apron and then shoves the referee, allowing Hart to spray Dog in the face with the atomizer. A middle rope elbow gives Adonis two as I guess the bell did indeed ring off camera. Adonis knocks him outside where Hart jumps on the Dog, only for Dog to pull Adonis down. They slug it out on the floor and only Dog beats the count for the win at 4:12.

Rating: D. This didn’t work so well and that shouldn’t be the biggest surprise. Adonis was still able to bump rather well but there was only so much that he could do with someone as slow as Dog. This was mainly Dog doing headbutts and then getting beaten up until the finish. In other words, a pretty usual Dog match for the time.

Dick Slater vs. Iron Mike Sharpe

A hammerlock sends Sharpe outside, which makes sense as he doesn’t want that bad arm to get even worse. Back in and Slater sends him right back to the floor as Monsoon calls out Sharpe on having a VERY slow healing injury, with the brace being on for eight years. Monsoon: “Why doesn’t he take the brace off and let it heal?” Johnny: “I DON’T KNOW! WHY DON’T YOU TAKE HIM OUT TO DINNER TONIGHT AND ASK HIM???”

Back in again and Sharpe gets in a shot but we’re clipped to Slater fighting back. Slater knocks him into the corner, followed by a swinging neckbreaker. The elbow misses so Slater goes with a middle rope elbow into a jackknife rollup for the pin at 2:29 shown. Nothing to this one, again, though Johnny snapping on Monsoon was funny.

Bobby Heenan promises to get the masks off the Machines tonight. Oh and Paul Orndorff is going to win the WWF Title. He also hates the crowd calling him WEASEL.

Bobby Heenan/King Kong Bundy/Big John Studd vs. The Machines/Captain Lou Albano

Ah the Machines. This would be Big Machine (Blackjack Mulligan) and Super Machine (Bill Eadie, better known as Ax) with Giant Machine (guess) in their corner. Studd and Super start things off but it’s too early for Super to get in a slam, as Studd’s thing was no one could slam him. The fans chant about a WEASEL as Studd knocks Super down to take over. Back up and Super knocks Studd to the floor, where the Giant sends him back inside. Bundy comes in to face Big and a collision goes nowhere.

Big slugs away and avoids a charge in the corner before knocking Bundy down so Studd comes back in. Studd stomps Big down and NOW it’s off to Heenan, who goes after the mask. A single shot from Super cuts him off but it’s Big being taken back into the corner. Studd’s cheap shot from the apron cuts Big down for two so it’s back to Heenan, only for Albano to get the tag. Heenan backs up (as only he can) before Albano whips him upside down in the corner. Everything breaks down and the Giant comes in for the DQ at 7:48.

Rating: D+. This was the usual slow motion match from the Machines and Bundy/Studd, though Heenan was there to make it better. It’s not a good match or really anything close to it, but what matters is they got something out of the crowd. The Machines were the definition of goofy fun, but it would be nice if they had something to back it up in the ring.

Jake Roberts vs. Ricky Steamboat

Snake Pit Match, which basically means street fight. Roberts jumps him on the way in but Steamboat gets in a backdrop to send Roberts outside. That lets them get their entrance gear off before Steamboat chops away back inside. Steamboat starts in on the arm as Monsoon says that we were originally supposed to have a real snake and a real dragon in the corners but the whole safety thing prevented it.

The hammerlock keeps Roberts down as Johnny can’t remember the lake near the stadium. Steamboat chops him to the floor but Roberts takes over and drops some knees, with Steamboat hanging over the ring’s platform. Roberts takes too long to get a chair though and Steamboat takes it away for a hard shot of his own.

Back in and the top rope chop to the head gives Steamboat two as the fans are staying with this. The armbar goes on again but Roberts manages to whip him over the top for a big crash to the floor. A catapult sends Steamboat into the post and we’ve got some blood. Back in and Roberts hammers away, with the short arm clothesline putting Steamboat down. The DDT is blocked so Roberts grabs a backbreaker for two, only to pose too much, allowing Steamboat to get a sunset flip for the pin at 10:18.

Rating: B. Easily the match of the night here so far, with the fans being in there the whole time. Steamboat is someone who could make a comeback as well as anyone else and having him steal the win at the end was the perfect way to go. It was a good most, with Roberts feeling like he was out to hurt Steamboat, who was wrestling at a higher level and picked up the win in the end.

Billy Jack Haynes vs. Hercules

It’s a Wrestlemania preview, with Monsoon on commentary alone for some reason and clearly doing a voiceover later. Haynes grabs a headlock and they trade leapfrogs until Hercules knocks him down. We’re clipped to Hercules grabbing a bearhug but Haynes headclaps his way out. They collide for a double down before Haynes elbows him in the face. A backbreaker looks to set up the full nelson but Hercules throws him outside instead. Hercules suplexes him back in and gets two off a clothesline. Haynes comes back with a quick backslide for the pin at 6:08.

Rating: C-. It’s not bad, but at the same time there is only so much you can get out of these two having such similar styles. Their bigger match at Wrestlemania wasn’t that much better and it’s mainly due to the clash of styles. You rarely see two people with the same style having a good match and that was on display here.

Fabulous Rougeaus vs. Dream Team

Another Wrestlemania preview and commentary (including Johnny, the Dream Team’s manager) is back. The villains jump them to start but the Rougeaus come back with a slingshot sunset flip for two on Valentine. Jacques drops a knee on Valentine and we hit the abdominal stretch (yes Monsoon complains).

With that broken up, Beefcake comes in for a powerslam and his own two. Raymond gets taken into the corner for a middle rope shot to the head. Raymond gets in a crossbody for two and it’s back to Jacques for a double dropkick. An atomic drop cuts Jacques off (and gives him a rather high pitched scream) so Beefcake can take him into the corner. Everything breaks down and the Rougeaus ram them into each other, setting up the Cannonball for two. Valentine sends Jacques into the apron as we go to a wide shot to show the crowd.

Jacques gets rammed into the apron again before Beefcake hits a big backbreaker on Raymond. A suplex gives Beefcake two and Valentine grabs a bearhug, with a tag to Jacques not counting. Raymond gets whipped hard into the corner but Valentine misses the big elbow. The hot tag brings in Jacques to clean house, including a double dropkick as Johnny is losing his mind. Jacques misses his middle rope elbow so Valentine slaps on the Figure Four. Raymond makes the save as everything breaks down and a sunset flip pins Valentine at 14:55.

Rating: B-. Another good match here, with the extra time helping a bit. They built things up with the heat on both Rougeaus and Johnny going absolutely nuts on commentary helped a lot. It made for a good match as the glory days of the tag division were coming soon, with the Rougeaus being a forgotten part of the lineup.

Johnny has to be held back in the commentary booth. To make things even worse, Monsoon points out that the wrong Rougeau got the pin, which has Johnny’s eyes bugging out in a funny bit.

Harley Race vs. Pedro Morales

This would have been a fascinating match a mere ten years earlier. We’re joined in progress with Morales throwing those big lefts to send Race to the floor. Race trips him down and sends him over the timekeeper’s table. The falling headbutt hits Morales again and a posting makes it worse. Back in and Morales hits a suplex and gets two off a small package. A sunset flip out of the corner gives Morales two but Race rolls him up and puts his feet on the ropes for the pin at 3:23.

Rating: C. Morales was great in his day but it just wasn’t working at this point. You could see that it wasn’t there anymore, even in a short match like this one. Race was able to make anyone look better though and he pulled it off again here, at least as much as you could given the circumstances.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Paul Orndorff

Orndorff, with Bobby Heenan, is challenging and has the stolen Real American theme music. Since Hogan uses the same thing, they just let the song keep playing for both entrances. Orndorff jumps him before the bell and they roll around on the mat as the crowd is on fire. Hogan hammers away but the referee PULLS HOGAN’S HAIR to get him away. Dang it why can’t Jesse Ventura be on commentary here?

Back up and Hogan knocks him to the floor so Orndorff pulls Hogan outside for an exchange of rams into the apron. They get back inside where Hogan drops an elbow and an atomic drop sends Heenan into the corner. We pause for Hogan to go after Heenan, which is enough of a distraction for Orndorff to catch Hogan coming back inside. A big clothesline sends Hogan to the floor and there’s a suplex to drop him again.

Hogan starts to get back in, which Monsoon calls “guts personified”. We’re just over four minutes into a match where Hogan has been in control for a good chunk. Monsoon has a low standard for “guts personified”. Some elbows to the chest have Hogan in trouble on the apron and a rather hard one sends him to the apron.

Back in and Hogan gets dropped again so he reaches out to the crowd in one of those things that will always work. Orndorff hits a top rope right hand to the jaw but the piledriver is broken up. That earns Hogan a bite to the face and a belly to back suplex triggers the Hulk Up. A jumping knee sends Orndorff into the referee in the corner and Hogan holds up Orndorff’s arm for a clotheslines (how Orndorff turned on him). Hogan loads up a piledriver, which draws in Heenan with a stool to the back of the head. The VERY delayed cover gets….nothing as the referee calls for the DQ at 11:07.

Rating: B-. Another perfectly acceptable match here, with the ending designed to set up the rematches, which was one of the best house show runs the company has ever seen. Orndorff was a great change of pace heel for Hogan, who was best known for fighting the monsters. It was more in the Roddy Piper mold and that was certainly something Hogan could do very well. Not a great match, but the fans were eating it up.

Post match Orndorff puts the belt on and then freaks out at the announcement (as the referee appears near death in the corner). Orndorff stomps away but Hogan fights up and cleans house.

Slow motion replays and the credits take us out.

Overall Rating: C. The good matches are strong enough to carry this one to another level, but it’s still only so strong of a show. The problem is the bad matches really drag things down, as you’re not going to get much out of the midcard stuff here. What matters the most here is the massive crowd, which really is worth a look. Not a great show, but if you’re wanting to see what the company was doing in an era that is often forgotten, it’s worth a quick look.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Wrestlemania III
Date: March 29, 1987
Location: Pontiac Silverdome, Pontiac, Michigan
Attendance: 93,173
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura
America The Beautiful: Aretha Franklin

Well if you insist. This might be the show that I’ve seen more than any other in history as I regularly put it on to go to sleep, as it’s just such pleasant viewing. It’s one of the biggest shows of all time with the biggest main event in history. Throw in…oh come on. It’s Wrestlemania III. You know what this is all about so let’s get to it.

And in case it needs to be addressed again, the exact attendance of the show is A WHOLE LOT OF PEOPLE. Be it 78,000 or 93,173 or whatever it is in the middle, the WWF packed an NFL stadium and it’s a show that is still talked about going on forty years later. If you’re trying to argue that the attendance being ONLY pushing 80,000, you’re probably reading the wrong thing right now.

We open with the first (of a bunch) iconic shot of the show, with the camera near the top of the stadium and panning across to show all of the people. That’s one of those famous shots in the company’s history and it’s no wonder that it’s been played so many times.

Vince McMahon introduces Aretha Franklin to sing America The Beautiful, with just a hint of the Mr. McMahon voice coming out.

We meet commentary, plus special guests Mary Hart (from Entertainment Tonight) and Bob Uecker (famously not very good baseball player who wound up being a great TV personality and broadcaster).

Can-Am Connection vs. Bob Orton/Magnificent Muraco

Mr. Fuji is here with the villains and the Connection (Tom Zenk/Rick Martel) are basically the prototype for Strike force. Muraco shoves Zenk away to start and actually gets shouldered down. It’s off to Martel, who blind tags his way out of a headlock, setting up a double monkey flip. A double hiptoss drops Orton as well as they’re off to a fast start.

Back up and Orton gets slammed into an armbar from Zenk as Monsoon says Orton has “excellence of execution”. Orton gets a full nelson but Muraco’s cheap shot hits Orton by mistake to give Zenk two. Zenk comes in to work on the arm as well but a quick knee cuts Zenk down. Back up and a collision gives us a double knockdown, allowing the tag back to Martel. Everything breaks down and the villains are sent into each other, with Muraco backdropping Orton. A double dropkick sets up a crossbody (with a trip) to pin Muraco at 5:38.

Rating: C+. This would have been a dark match in more modern times but for this era, it was a great way to start things off. They didn’t waste time and got out of there pretty quickly with the young, pretty boy team beating the villains. Orton and Muraco were never really in control for any extended period of time and it was just shy of a squash. Fun opener here, even if it doesn’t mean much of anything.

We recap Hercules vs. Billy Jack Haynes, which is a battle of the full nelson between two strong guys.

Hercules, with Bobby Heenan, is ready to use his strength to show Haynes that he is the true master of the full nelson. Heenan insists that it is actually Billy “Jerk” Haynes.

Billy Jack Haynes vs. Hercules

Bobby Heenan is here with Hercules and since the teams were in the ring to start the opener, we get the first glimpse of the ring carts here. They go nose to nose to start and Haynes backs him into the corner, where the referee gets between them in something you don’t often see. A cheap shot cuts Haynes off but Hercules has to bail from the threat of a full nelson.

One heck of a clothesline drops Haynes and things slow down. A backdrop and hard whip into the corner have Haynes’ back in more trouble, though Monsoon wonders why he isn’t working on the neck to set up the full nelson. Hercules covers him off a suplex but pulls up at two, which has Gorilla and Ventura mildly freaking out.

Back up and the full nelson, or at least something close to it (the fingers aren’t locked) goes on, with Haynes going down anyway. Two arm drops trigger the comeback so Hercules decks him from behind in a smart move. A double clothesline leaves both of them down before Haynes makes the clothesline comeback. The full nelson goes on but Hercules pulls them through the ropes for a crash outside. Haynes gets the full nelson on again but it’s a double countout at 7:53.

Rating: C-. Not much to this one as it was a fairly slow power match with the result not really giving us anything. It’s still strange to see something like this at Wrestlemania but it’s a rather different era. The good thing though is that they didn’t stay out there very long, which takes away a lot of the issues. Haynes is a guy who had a great look but never went very far in the WWF before bailing (as he did multiple times in various companies).

Post match Heenan knees Haynes in the back so the chase is on, allowing Hercules to get in a chain shot and bust Hayes open (notice Haynes blading on camera). The full nelson goes on as well, likely setting up house show rematches.

King Kong Bundy, with his midgets (that’s what they’re called on this show so we’ll stay with that for now) threatens to crush various people.

Hillbilly Jim promises to protect his smaller friends, who he picks up for a beard pull.

Hillbilly Jim/Little Beaver/Haiti Kid vs. King Kong Bundy/Lord Littlebrook/Little Tokyo

Bob Uecker is on commentary and actually treats it seriously, clarifying that the sizes have to match (not so much the age, as Beaver was 53 here while Tokyo was 58, compared to the 35 year old Jim and the 32 year old Bundy). Tokyo headlocks Kid over to start and it’s a four way criss cross until Beaver and Kid do their rowboat spot. We settle down to Tokyo vs. Beaver as Uecker seems rather happy to be here.

Littlebrook comes in as Ventura wants to see Bundy crush one of the midgets. Beaver runs over to get in a cheap shot on Bundy, who is tagged in from the apron, which isn’t exactly legal. Beaver’s dropkick doesn’t do much to Bundy so it’s off to Jim for a clothesline and jumping elbow. The group pin gets two and Bundy grabs a front facelock on Jim, with Beaver coming in for the save. That’s enough for Bundy, who slams Beaver down and drops the big elbow, which is enough for the DQ at 3:24.

Rating: C. This is one of those matches where there isn’t much to get. It’s designed to be comedy or for the kids in the audience, which is fine when they just do something goofy. At the same time, it’s hard to fathom how far Bundy fell after headlining the show the previous year. In something a lot more serious, unfortunately the big elbow to Beaver led to the end of his in-ring career, as he never wrestled again.

Randy Savage isn’t going to let Elizabeth be interviewed by Mary Hart and offers to take any questions Hart may have. Hart to Elizabeth: “Is it always this way?” Savage rushes Elizabeth out of there but tells Hart that his phone number is on his license plate. Hart: “You are a real charmer.” And an incredible star, as the charisma here was incredible.

We recap Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog. Race is the King of the WWF and wants the Dog to bow to him but Dog wasn’t interested. Instead, Race, with Bobby Heenan, tried to force him to bow. That’s enough to set up a match, but I’d be more annoyed at the crown having a string to help hold it on. They can’t get something a bit more customized?

Race promises to make Dog bow and the Queen (Fabulous Moolah) is told to keep the crown.

The Dog thinks Race has been on the throne too long.

Junkyard Dog vs. Harley Race

Bob Uecker runs off commentary because he is apparently in love with Moolah. As….someone must have been. Dog slugs away to start and knocks him outside, followed by a headbutt back inside. Race hits a headbutt to the ribs and they go outside, where Race misses a falling headbutt.

A clothesline sends Race over the top and back inside, followed by another to put him outside again, with Race’s face landing on the apron. Back in again and Race fights out of an abdominal stretch and hits a falling headbutt, which huts himself again. Dog whips him over the corner and hits some headbutts on all fours. Heenan offers a distraction though and Race grabs a belly to belly for the pin at 3:19.

Rating: C. This was another short one and somehow might have set a record for the most headbutts attempted in any match. The interesting thing here is that it felt like Race was doing something beneath him, but you could still see how graceful he was with some of his bumping. It made Dog, who wasn’t exactly great on his best day, look that much better here, which is quite the feat.

Post match Race puts on the robe and sits in his chair, which is quite the visual. Dog does bow, then hits Race with the chair and steals the robe and crown, because he’s a sore loser.

Hulk Hogan is not happy with people suggesting that he is ready to take his last ride. At some point you have to face the truth, which is what Andre The Giant will do today. Andre is going to have to face every Hulkamaniac. Hogan: “They say if the dirty air doesn’t get you, the politicians will.” After that line that I have not understood for over thirty seven years, Hogan promises to win.

The Dream Team says don’t worry about Dino Bravo being in their corner.

Rougeau Brothers vs. Dream Team

The Dream Team, with Luscious Johnny V and Dino Bravo, gets an entrance while the Rougeaus are already in the ring. Ventura praises Greg Valentine’s new robe. To be fair, that is a rather snazzy robe. As usual, Ventura can’t remember which Rougeau is which and asks Monsoon in an exchange that illustrates why they sounded like normal people from time to time. Ventura can’t remember which Rougeau he’s seeing, Monsoon says it’s Raymond (the one with the mustache) and Ventura sounds grateful. How often do you see that in wrestling?

Anyway, Raymond takes over on Valentine to start and hands it off to Jacques, who misses a spinning middle rope crossbody, allowing Valentine to drop some elbows, as he is known to do. Beefcake comes in to stomp away and a top rope forearm to the head/backbreaker combination hits Jacques.

Bobby Heenan joins commentary and says he is 2/2 today as Valentine gets the Figure Four, sending Jacques to the rope. Monsoon calls out Heenan for King Kong Bundy’s loss, but Heenan doesn’t “deal with midgets”. Jacques gets over to Raymond for the tag and Le Bombe de Rougeau connects but Bravo gets in a cheap shot, allowing Valentine to steal the pin at 4:05.

Rating: C. Another short match which didn’t mean much but hearing Monsoon and Heenan arguing is always worth a look. It’s another match where they don’t have much of a story and it’s just two teams doing things, which is acceptable enough. Anytime you can get Le Bombe de Rougeau, it’s a pretty good day. Well maybe not for the Rougeaus, but at least it was entertaining while it lasted.

Post match Beefcake gets left in the ring for some reason with the other villains leaving. No one exactly gets what’s going on with Beefcake and…yeah it doesn’t make a ton of sense. Unless he’s just having a sudden crisis of conscience, it comes out of nowhere, at least with what we’re seeing here.

We recap Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis in Piper’s farewell match, which is hair vs. hair. Adonis had paid off Piper’s bodyguard Bob Orton and Piper was livid, even more so when Piper’s Pit was turned into the Flower Shop when Piper was gone making a movie. Piper came back and wrecked the place, earning a beating from Adonis and Orton. On top of that, Adonis sprayed perfume in Piper’s face, with Ventura thinking it was due to a bad case of halitosis. This was a heck of a hot feud, as Piper looked like he wanted to kill Adonis.

Piper says he’s not going out like a coward. No defeat and no surrender. Piper was bringing the fire here.

Adonis, with Jimmy Hart, is ready to cut Piper’s hair.

Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis

Adonis has Jimmy Hart with him. Piper has to walk to the ring (as his cart stalled), which just feels appropriate. They start fast with Piper whipping him with a belt but Adonis takes it away and unloads on Piper as well. A clothesline sends Adonis to the floor so Piper drags him, and Hart, inside for a double noggin knocker. Hart gets whipped into Adonis for a crash out to the floor. Ventura: “THIS IS TERRIBLE! THIS IS HORRIBLE!”

Back in and Piper unloads on Adonis before throwing Hart onto him again. Adonis rakes away at the chest and drops him with a shot to the face as Hart is barely able to stand on the floor. An elbow sends Piper to the floor and Adonis sends him into a table so Hart gets in a cheap shot of his own. Adonis hammers away so Piper tells him to bring it, only for Hart to spray him with perfume.

Good Night Irene (sleeper) goes on and Piper can’t shake it off or break it with some rams into the corner. The arm drops twice and Adonis just lets go, with the arm not going down yet. Cue Brutus Beefcake (whose hair Adonis had accidentally cut earlier in the year) to wake Piper up so Adonis swings his hedge clippers, which bounce off the ropes and hit himself in the head. Piper grabs his own sleeper for the win at 6:55.

Rating: B. No it might not be good, but this is an absolute blast of a match with Piper being so over the top and having such a good time with Hart and Adonis that it’s just so much fun. Piper was on his way out and gets to do one more entertaining match because he earned the whole thing. It would have been interesting to see him as a good guy for a longer time in his prime but going out on a high note like this is good too.

Post match Beefcake cuts a bunch of Adonis’ hair, with Piper throwing it around. Adonis wakes up and is shown his haircut, which sends Adonis into a frenzy. It doesn’t really get him very far as Piper keeps skipping away, leaving Adonis to crash out to the floor. Piper celebrates and a fan runs into the ring, gets a hug, and is promptly handcuffed while Piper leaves in a funny moment. Of note: the hedge clippers that Adonis used would become Beefcake’s trademark as he became the Barber after the match. Throw in Adonis being the one to give Piper his trademark leather jacket and it’s quite the influential feud.

Jesse Ventura has left commentary to be presented to the crowd, with Bob Uecker accusing him of going to be with Fabulous Moolah.

Ventura is indeed presented to the crowd before the next match, which he would do for the next two Wrestlemanias for some reason.

The Hart Foundation and Jimmy Hart are ready for war with DANNY DAVIS as their new member.

Hart Foundation/Danny Davis vs. British Bulldogs/Tito Santana

Bob Uecker and Mary Hart are on commentary. So this is ALL about Davis, who was a referee who cost the Bulldogs and Santana their titles through being all evil. He was promptly suspended “for life plus ten years” (he refereed again later on because wrestling) so Jimmy Hart has turned him into a wrestler, making his debut here.

The fans are desperate to see Davis get absolutely massacred here and he has absolutely insane heat. The good guys get to do their entrance and Uecker AGAIN does a great job of setting up Monsoon to recap the story, treating this totally seriously (in his own fun way) and being as good of a celebrity broadcaster as you’ll ever find in wrestling. Matilda (the bulldog mascot) chases the villains to the floor and Santana jumps Neidhart before we officially get going.

Ventura takes Matilda to the back as Bret is dropped face first out of the corner. Neidhart comes in as Mary Hart goes on a rather annoying rant about how she is NOT related to Jimmy. Santana leapfrogs Neidhart and hands it off to Smith to hammer away. Smith avoids Bret’s elbow and hands it off to Dynamite, who gets headbutted down. Dynamite gets punched in the corner and Neidhart adds a cheap shot as Monsoon says that Bret, just like Bob Orton, has Excellence Of Execution.

Something close to a Demolition Decapitator hits Dynamite and it’s off to Davis for a few stomps. He immediately hands it off to Bret with the biggest grin, because he knows how to be a heel. Unfortunately Mary is asking what Dynamite has to do to get out of the ring in this TAG match. Davis comes back in for two more stomps and gets out again with his big grin. Bret tries a slingshot but Davis lands on raised knees, allowing Santana to come in and hammer on Davis, with the fans going NUTS.

A backdrop sets up the flying forearm before Santana just unloads on him with some right hands. Neidhart breaks up the Figure Four so Smith comes in for a heck of a clothesline and a jumping Tombstone. That’s not enough for the cover so Smith grabs a suplex to drop Davis again. The running powerslam gets two with Neidhart making the save. Everything breaks down and Jimmy slips in the megaphone so Davis can knock Smith out for the win at 8:53.

Rating: B. While it might be stretching the idea of having Davis escape one more time, sweet goodness the crowd reactions here were incredible. Davis was getting absolutely molten heat here and the fans were dying to see him get crushed. I could have gone for seeing the good guys win, but stretching it out wasn’t the worst idea.

Bobby Heenan (now in the famous white tuxedo) promises that Hulkamania is over tonight because Andre The Giant will be the new World Champion. Heenan’s confidence here is even higher than usual as he really feels like this is the be all and end all for him.

Koko B. Ware vs. Butch Reed

Slick is here with Reed as we have a bit of a Mid-South reunion here. Ware tries to pick up the pace to start by running over Reed and then dropkicks him out to the floor. Back in and Reed drops Ware to take over and we look at Frankie the parrot trying to eat the camera. Ware comes back with some right hands and a dropkick before a small package gets two. Back up and Ware tries a crossbody but Reed rolls through and grabs the tights for the pin at 3:38.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here with the two of them just having a quick match without going very far. Reed felt like he could have been something bigger in the company but it never quite panned out. Having him around here was fine, but there is only so much you can do in a match this short with nothing going on.

Post match Slick goes after Ware but Tito Santana pops up to rip off Slick’s suit as he and Ware have been having issues lately. Santana and Ware clear out Reed too.

We recap Ricky Steamboat vs. Randy Savage for the Intercontinental Title. Savage injured Steamboat with an ax handle to send Steamboat throat first into the barricade and then crushed his throat with the ring bell. Steamboat returned anyway and wanted revenge while teaming up with George Steele, who had been feuding with Savage for several months.

Savage is ready to beat Steamboat and get him out of the ring because he is the lord and master. “History beckons the Macho Man.” What an amazing line.

Steamboat says they are going to meet like titans and the Dragon is going to scorch Savage’s back.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat

Steamboat, with George Steele, is challenging and Miss Elizabeth is with Savage, who gets a face pop so big that even commentary has to acknowledge it. They lock up to start and Steamboat shoves him to the floor as Ventura says Steamboat was able to come back because he has a lot of throat. The armdrags have Savage in trouble and Steamboat lifts him up with a choke.

Back in and Savage gets in a kick of his own as even Monsoon has to admit that Savage is pretty incredible. Steamboat comes back with a crank on the arm and snaps it over the top but Savage elbows him in the face. Savage drops a knee for two but gets sent face first into the buckle. A crossbody gives Steamboat two and it’s another armdrag into some shoulder blocks. Savage comes back with a jumping knee to the back but Steamboat is fine enough to skin the cat.

That just earns him a clothesline over the top because as good as Steamboat is, Savage is incredibly smart in his own right. Another running knee sends Steamboat crashing over the barricade, with Steele having to help him back over while the referee yells at Savage. Ventura gets on Monsoon, who wanted managers to be less hands on. Monsoon: “That’s not a manager. That’s a friend.” I feel terrible for this one but screw off with that nonsense Monsoon.

The top rope ax handle drills Steamboat and an atomic drop gets two back inside. Steamboat flips out of a belly to back suplex and backdrops Savage over the top for a heck of a bump to the floor. Back in and Steamboat dives off the top and over the referee to chop Savage in the head (I love that shot). Steamboat starts firing off the chops and Savage is knocked outside again. A sunset flip and some rollups get two each on Savage as even Ventura has to admit that this match is incredible.

Steamboat catapults him face first into the post for two but Savage pulls the tights to send Steamboat shoulder first into the post. Back up and a reversed whip takes out the referee and Savage hits his signature clothesline (where he lands on his back for some reason). The top rope elbow connects….and there’s no referee. Savage goes to grab the bell but Steele shoves him off the top, with Savage crashing down onto said bell (close enough). Back up and Steamboat small packages him for the pin and the title at 14:31 in one of the most famous finishes in history.

Rating: A+. I mean…what do you want me to say? Yeah it might be a cliche to say this is one of the best matches ever but that’s exactly what it is. You have two of the best of all time in a match that was way ahead of its time with the fast pace and near falls. There’s nothing close to bad in the whole thing and it feels like it is one of the biggest showdowns you’ll ever see. In short, this is a classic for a reason, or in this case, multiple reasons.

Savage goes back in the card with his head in his hands, completely destroyed.

Jake Roberts, with Alice Cooper, is ready to get revenge on Honky Tonk Man for hitting him with a guitar.

Honky Tonk Man thinks the fans want to hear his song rather than something by Alice Cooper.

Honky Tonk Man vs. Jake Roberts

Jimmy Hart and Alice Cooper are here too. Roberts jumps him to start and knocks him outside before the Elvis suit can come off. The beating goes to the floor, with Roberts getting in a slam as the beating is on in a hurry. Back in and Roberts charges into a knee in the corner but he’s right back with the short arm clothesline. The threat of a DDT sends Honky Tonk bailing to the floor, where he manages to post Roberts for a breather.

Back in and the middle rope fist drop hits Roberts, followed by an elbow to the face (by “Honk” according to Monsoon). The Shake Rattle And Roll (he couldn’t get past the Shake) is broken up and Roberts is back with an atomic drop. There’s a backdrop to Honky Tonk and he gets tied in the ropes for some right hands. The DDT is teased but Hart grabs the leg, allowing Honky Tonk to get a rollup (with a grab of the rope) for the pin at 7:05.

Rating: C. There was only so much to get out of this one as Honky Tonk wasn’t going to have the best matches and this was more about Roberts’ revenge. That’s not what he got anyway, but it’s not like Roberts was ever going to win many big matches. Honky Tonk Man had something much bigger coming, but you wouldn’t have bet on it here…which is kind of the entire point.

Post match Hart and Cooper get in the ring, with Roberts holding Hart back so Cooper can throw Damien on him. This show has been very full of sore losers.

Gene Okerlund announces the attendance record.

Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff vs. Killer Bees

Slick is with the villains and is still in his torn suit. Volkoff sings the Soviet national anthem, which draws out newcomer Jim Duggan (yes the 2×4 has an American flag) to break it up because THIS IS AMERICA. The villains jump them from behind to get started but are sent into the corners to cut them off. Blair comes in to work on Sheik’s arm and the Bees take turns working on said arm. Everything breaks down as the ring is full of trash from the anthem.

Sheik elbows Brunzell down and it’s back to Volkoff for a bearhug (which has Brunzell looking like he’s being tortured to death). A suplex (almost a Jackhammer) gives Sheik two but Brunzell knees him down. The referee misses the tag thanks to a distraction though and everything breaks down. Sheik camel clutches Brunzell so Duggan blasts him in the back with the 2×4 for the DQ at 5:51.

Rating: D. This is a good example of a match that did not need to be here and served little more than to stretch things out until the main event was ready to go. It really didn’t need to happen and it’s not like there was much going on anyway. If nothing else, it continues to amaze me that Sheik and Volkoff were a team for so long. They won the Tag Team Titles two years ago at the first Wrestlemania and they’re still here.

Post match Duggan says he’ll do that every time Volkoff tries to disgrace America. As Ventura puts it: why are the Bees ok with Duggan costing them a match? Shouldn’t they be mad?

Andre The Giant is ready to be the World Champion and Bobby Heenan agrees.

We recap Hulk Hogan vs. Andre The Giant. They had been friends for years but then Bobby Heenan got in Andre’s head and asked why he never got a title shot from Hogan. Andre snapped (well as much as he’s ever going to snap) and tore the shirt off of Hogan’s back (ripping his cross off by mistake in the process), challenging him for the title at “the Wrestlemania.” Hogan agreed and it’s time for the biggest match of all time.

Hogan is ready and poses.

Bob Uecker, the guest ring announcer and Mary Hart, the guest timekeeper, are brought out.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Andre The Giant

Andre, with Bobby Heenan, is challenging. Hogan’s entrance is rather incredible, with him getting the big spotlight and walking all the way to the ring as Ventura does the tale of the tape (and even admits that Hogan’s biceps are “phenomenal”). Ventura: “This is the biggest match in the history of professional wrestling.” That’s pretty accurate, yep. The bell rings and we get the staredown, which is your next iconic shot of the show.

Hogan wastes no time in Hulking Up before hammering away and trying a slam, only for Andre to fall onto him. This gives us a VERY close two, which was controversial enough that it enough for the feud to continue for another year. Andre slowly starts in on the back and hits a pair of slams before stepping over Hogan to keep him down. Some whips into the corner make it worse as Andre is barely having to do much here, mainly because he couldn’t. Andre misses a headbutt and hits the corner, allowing Hogan to hammer away for the hope spot.

Ten straight rams into the buckle have Andre staggered but he gets the boot up to cut off the charge. The bearhug goes on for awhile (I still don’t get the criticism that this kills the match as it’s really not that long) but Hogan slugs away for the break. A running shoulder has Andre staggered again until he hits a big chop. Andre boots him out to the floor but accidentally headbutts the post.

Hogan, ever the hero, pulls back the floor mats and tries a piledriver, which is easily blocked with a backdrop. Back in (I can give you the commentary word for word from here on) and Andre misses a big boot, allowing Hogan to drop him with a clothesline. Heenan is beside himself as Hogan Hulks Up and slams Andre (there’s your other iconic shot) to drop the leg and retain the title at 11:32. Ventura: “UNBELIEVABLE!” If you could sway Jesse, you could get anyone.

Rating: B-. No it isn’t particularly good, no it isn’t anything that hasn’t been done better and no it was never going to much better than that. What mattered here was giving Hogan the win against the biggest (non-Sammartino) name of the previous generation. It’s a VERY simple story (Hogan gets hurt, he gets beaten down, he survives long enough to Hulk Up and uses the power of Hulkamania to slay the Giant) but it was a good enough stadium match to get by. That and the whole “it’s the biggest match ever” kind of helps.

Andre and Heenan leave in the card, with Heenan’s head in his hands as he realizes he’s lost everything. Hogan poses a lot and gets in his cat, which is elevated so more people can see him in a smart move.

Ventura and Gorilla wrap up the show and we get a stills package to end the show, set to Aretha Franklin.

Overall Rating: B. I’ve watched this show more times than I can count for over thirty years and that’s because it just works. It’s a perfect example of a show that flows so well, with only a few spots that drag. The show has twelve matches and two of them break nine minutes. Even the worst matches on the card are out of there quickly enough that they don’t do much damage, which is part of the reason why the show is just over three hours.

At the same time, this was the show that set the standard for what Wrestlemania would become. Rather than a big house show or whatever the second edition was, it was “here’s a huge main event with enough on the undercard to fill a stadium”. That would become the standard for Wrestlemania down the line and it started here, making it one of the most important shows of all time.

Overall, Wrestlemania III is a show that changed the way the wrestling world worked and it still works to this day. You could tell that everyone was wanting it to go as well as it could and for once they actually pulled it off. No the matches aren’t all great, but it has that huge feeling that you cannot fake. It’s a show that will always work and I was enjoying it all over again here, which isn’t something you see very often. Check it out again if you haven’t in awhile, or even if you have really, as it’s always worth the time.

Ratings Comparison

Can-Am Connection vs. Bob Orton/Don Muraco

Original: B+
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: C+

Billy Jack Haynes vs. Hercules

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: C
2025 Redo: C-

Hillbilly Jim/Haiti Kid/Little Beaver vs. King Kong Bundy/Little Tokyo/Lord Littlebrook

Original: F
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C

Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C

Rougeau Brothers vs. Dream Team

Original: D+
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: C

Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis

Original: C+
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: B

Hart Foundation/Danny Davis vs. British Bulldogs/Tito Santana

Original: C
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: B

Koko B. Ware vs. Butch Reed

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: D+

Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A+
2015 Redo: A+
2025 Redo: A+

Jake Roberts vs. Honky Tonk Man

Original: C
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C-
2025 Redo: C

Killer Bees vs. Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff

Original: D
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: D

Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant

Original: A
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: B+
2013 Redo: A+
2015 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: B

Sweet goodness I’ve been all over the place with this show over the years.

 

 

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WWF Rampage 1991
Hosts: Sean Mooney, Gene Okerlund, Bobby Heenan
Commentators: Lord Alfred Hayes, Sean Mooney, Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan, Jim Neidhart, Vince McMahon, Roddy Piper

We’re still on the WWE Vault with another Coliseum Video, which should make for a bit of fun. These things are the definition of hit and miss but we can often see something good in there somewhere. Then again there can also be some drek to get through as this isn’t the best time for the company. Let’s get to it.

We’re on a golf course with Gene Okerlund and Bobby Heenan giving us some tips. Gene says his handicap is Heenan, who almost looks like a clown and thinks they’re about to play tennis.

From Fresno, California, June 18, 1991.

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. British Bulldog

Perfect, with Coach (gah that didn’t work), is defending. Bulldog wastes no time in shoving him down and easily wins an exchange of shoulders. After a breather on the floor, Perfect is smart enough to not go for a test of strength. Bulldog accuses him of being a chicken, which Hayes does not think is the British way. For some reason Perfect tries a test of strength and immediately screams “AH YOU SON OF A B****!”

Even commentary has to cover for that one, thankfully with Bulldog getting two off a rollup. They trade sunset flips for two each and Bulldog gets in a bunch of rams into the corner on various turnbuckles. Perfect is back up with a shot of his own though and we slow back down for a breather. A Boston crab, with a grab of a rope, has Bulldog’s back in trouble but he powers out anyway. Perfect’s nice dropkick sends Bulldog outside, where Coach gets in some rather lame stomps.

Cue Bret Hart to chase Coach off so Perfect hits the Hennig necksnap but the referee almost gets bumped. After a bit of chastisement, Perfect goes with the sleeper and gets a pair of arm drops. That’s enough to make Bulldog fight up and he crotches Perfect on top, naturally with a hilarious sell. The referee gets bumped though and Bulldog can’t get a count off a small package. Coach comes in so Hart cuts him off and counts the pin because he’s a bit nuts at the moment. Hart and Perfect get in a fight and the referee sees it for the DQ at 9:32.

Rating: C+. Nice enough stuff here and that shouldn’t be surprising given who was in there. These two are talented stars who can have a good match with anyone and they had a bit of time here. That being said, the ending felt like a bit of an escape hatch and having Hart counting the pin was just kind of nuts.

Post match Hart beats up Perfect even more but Bulldog isn’t overly happy.

Gene hits a shot which seems to be good, though there is nothing in the way of tips. Well other than where to send a postcard to request a fan favorite match.

From New York City, April 22, 1991.

Warlord vs. Texas Tornado

Commentary argues over which of these two is smarter and….yeah all hail the Warlord. They take their time to lock up and then stop to pose some more, with Warlord not being happy at not being so popular. We get the test of strength and Tornado goes down for a two count, which you don’t see very often. Tornado fights up and blocks a big boot, setting up the Tornado Punch.

For some reason Warlord doesn’t even go down, instead grabbing a bearhug. That’s finally broken up so Warlord knocks him to the floor, which Monsoon says is Tornado taking a break. Warlord drives him back first into the post and they come back in, with Tornado not being able to make a sunset flip work. The slow forearms to the back have Tornado in trouble, to the point where he can’t pick Warlord up.

Warlord misses….we’ll call it a splash so Tornado is up with the clothesline comeback. The Tornado Punch gets two with Warlord getting a foot on the rope. Tornado gets a sleeper but they crash out to the floor for the double countout at 9:18. Ignore Tornado being back in before the ten count, to the point where even Heenan thinks he made it.

Rating: D. Oh heck no as this was rather horrible with Tornado being pretty much useless. It’s a bad sign when Warlord is carrying the whole thing and then they had the lame finish on top of that. This was one of the worst matches I’ve seen in a good while and it somehow just kept getting worse.

Post match Tornado argues with the referee, probably asking where he parked his chicken.

From New York City, June 3, 1991.

Animal vs. Paul Roma

Before the match, Roma and Hercules have a coin toss to determine which one will face Animal, which might be slightly interesting if Mooney’s voiceover hadn’t said it would be Roma. Hercules just stays in the ring at the bell and distracts Animal so Roma can hammer away. They actually trade leapfrogs until Animal catches Roma with an atomic drop. A headbutt between the legs keeps Roma in trouble but he knocks Animal off the top to the floor.

Back in and Roma hammers away, setting up a rather high dropkick. Three straight backbreakers set up a top rope shot to Animal’s head as this is more one sided than you might think. Animal fights up and they trade reversals until the referee gets bumped. A flying shoulder hits Roma for no count so Hercules gets in a cheap shot. Roma accidentally missile dropkicks Hercules though, allowing Animal to grab a powerslam for the pin at 5:00.

Rating: C-. This was in the weird non-Hawk period for the Legion Of Doom and that isn’t the most memorable stretch of time for a reason. There wasn’t much to see here other than Animal winning a glorified handicap match, which thankfully didn’t last long. Roma’s dropkicks looked good at least.

It’s back to the golf course, where Gene explains the importance of a chip shot. Gene’s shot goes fairly well while Heenan’s club goes flying. They move on to a shot from a bunker, with Heenan advocating cheating while Gene hits a nice shot. Heenan cheats anyway and Gene is aghast. Finally we move on to putting, with Heenan cheating again to succeed, which has Gene stunned.

From Fresno, California, June 18, 1991.

Big Boss Man/Rockers vs. Nasty Boys/Mountie

In case you wanted the most 1991 match possible. Jimmy Hart is here with the villains and the Nastys are the Tag Team Champions. Knobbs holds up one of the titles in an early Ric Flair impression. Shawn, with his backwards neon green hat (again, 1991) starts with the Mountie but Shawn tags in Boss Man, who gets taken into the corner by Sags (for the first contact over two minutes in).

A fairly delayed powerslam plants Sags right back down Mountie comes in and gets spinebustered, with the villains being cleared out for a needed breather. Back in and Boss Man enziguris Knobbs so Jannetty can come in with a middle rope faceplant. A sunset flip gives Jannetty two and it’s back to Shawn for the superkick. Boss Man adds an elbow to the face and does that weird bouncing headlock of his.

Sags finally gets in a cheap shot from the apron and Boss Man crashes out to the floor so the villains can finally get control. Sags drops some elbows and Mountie’s elbow to the jaw gets two. To avoid being left out, Knobbs drops an elbow of his own for two more before taking Boss Man into the corner. The Rockers are drawn in, which is enough for the triple teaming to continue.

Mountie confirms his identity by shouting “I AM THE MOUNTIE!”, which is enough for Boss Man to fight up. Shawn comes in to clean house as everything breaks down. In the melee, Shawn intercepts the megaphone and knocks Knobs out, only to get shocked by Mountie’s shock stick. Not that it matters as Jannetty steals the pin at 10:12.

Rating: C+. This got better near the end but the heat segment didn’t last very long, meaning there was a lot of other stuff to cover the rest of the time. What helps here is the lineup was interesting enough that it gave for some nice options, which is the point of a six man tag. It’s not a great match but it’s perfectly fun for this kind of a spot.

From New York City, New York, June 3, 1991.

The Dragon vs. Smash

Sure why not. Demolition was done at this point and Smash was waiting for a new gimmick. The Dragon was Ricky Steamboat without being able to call him Ricky Steamboat because his divorce was really nasty (and ridiculous). Smash works on the arm to start but you know Steamboat is fine with doing something just like that. Back up and Steamboat has to skin the cat (of course) before sending Smash over the top.

Smash gets back in and is quickly armdragged into an armbar as Steamboat is quickly checking his boxes here. Some chops to the head (or about four inches in front of his head) have Smash in more trouble and we’re right back to the armdrag into the armbar. Back up and Smash gets something like a chokeslam to cut Steamboat down and a belly to back suplex gets two, with Monsoon really not being pleased with the technique.

The neck crank goes on for a bit before Smash sends him outside again, this time for a ram into the post. A slam on the floor and a backbreaker back inside sets up another neck crank, which he switches into a sleeper to keep Steamboat in trouble. Steamboat finally fights up and strikes away, setting up a dropkick to the floor. A middle rope dive to the floor takes Smash down again but he suplexes Steamboat back inside. Smash misses a charge though and the high crossbody gives Steamboat the win at 10:17.

Rating: D+. Oh come on what else were you expecting here? Steamboat can do something good with just about anyone but he needs something more than a bored Smash, who is barely a singles star in the first place. This did not work and was boring on top of going longer than it needed. If you have someone as talented as Steamboat, find a better way to use him.

From Green Bay, Wisconsin, May 7, 1991.

Jake Roberts vs. Barbarian

Barbarian, with Bobby Heenan, stalks him around to start and Jake’s left hands don’t do much good. An armbar doesn’t get Jake very far so Barbarian hammers away, at least until a knee lift takes him down. The threat of the DDT sends Barbarian bailing to the floor and we stall for a bit.

Back in and Barbarian pounds him down again, with Heenan getting in some choking. A backbreaker gives Barbarian two and he seems to rip at Jake’s face for a change. Jake’s short arm clothesline misses and Barbarian kicks him in the face, only for Jake to bounce back with a DDT. Cue Earthquake for a distraction so Jake busts out Damien and chases him off….for the countout at 7:27.

Rating: C-. Well, at least it was a bit shorter. This tape has hit a wall with the last two matches and I’m not sure I can see that getting much better. Barbarian is a prime example of someone who played a role perfectly well despite not being a big star. He was doing it again here, but Jake Roberts can’t beat the Barbarian in a match like this? That’s quite the stretch.

Bobby and Gene are seemingly off the course in an attempt to find a ball. Naturally, Bobby cheats again because that is his nature.

From London, England, April 24, 1991.

Greg Valentine vs. Haku

Oh come on. This is from the dreadful Valentine face run and he grabs a headlock to start. An atomic drop into a running elbow to the head sends Haku outside for a needed breather. Back in and Haku kind of bobs and weaves a bit before chopping away in the corner. Some backbreakers give Haku two and we hit the reverse chinlock.

Valentine fights up but gets caught in it again, only to fight up again (it worked the first time). Some rams into the buckle have Haku staggered, which has Vince a bit surprised on commentary. Piper: “Go after him Gregory!” The big elbow misses though and Haku strikes away again, only to get headbutted between the legs. The Figure Four attempt is blocked but Valentine grabs a sunset flip for the pin at 8:42.

Rating: C. This is a good example of a match that was technically fine but….who in the world was wanting to cheer Valentine? It’s just a weird idea and something that never exactly worked. That was on display here and while the match was ok because both of them are talented stars, it’s hard to get behind eternal heel Valentine, even against someone like Haku.

From Tuscon, Arizona, May 28, 1991.

Power & Glory vs. Orient Express

Slick and Mr. Fuji are here for a rather rare heel vs. heel match. We get a fairly long staredown to start until Hercules shoves Kato down to start. It works so well that Hercules does it again but Kato chops away in the corner. Hercules isn’t having that and blocks a whip out of the corner, only to miss an elbow. A gorilla press works a bit better on Tanaka as it’s weird to see the fans cheering for Power & Glory (at least more than they’re cheering for the Express).

Roma reminds the fans that the team is evil too and by coming in for a double clothesline. After some nice leapfrogs, Roma drops Tanaka again and hits a nice top rope elbow for two. Kato gets in a cheap shot though and comes in with an elbow to the face as things slow back down. Roma fights out of a chinlock but gets tripped by Fuji, giving us the threat of a manager brawl (actually….Slick vs. Fuji could be awesome).

Hercules gets drawn in so Tanaka can jump over Kato and onto Roma’s back for two. Roman jumps over a double clothesline and Hercules comes back in for his own double clothesline despite the lack of a tag. A heck of a dropkick to Kato gives Roma two and Tanaka’s sunset flip gets two more. Slick low bridges Kato down to the floor though and everyone goes outside for the double countout at 8:28.

Rating: C-. Not the worst match here, but dang it was more weird than anything else. Power & Glory fit into the good guys slot (albeit by default) pretty easily here and I could go for seeing them do it a bit more. That being said, I still want to see Slick vs. Fuji, as that just sounds fun. As in what a lot of this tape has not exactly been.

Back to the course, with Heenan lying to another player about where his ball went.

And now, At Home With Paul Bearer. After taking a very long time to get inside, Bearer is messing with a body in a casket, because he had to bring some of his work home. He apologizes for not tidying up and then sits down in something of a throne. Bearer offers us a drink, which might be made of human remains. He looks at some knickknacks, such as the Urn, a dead plant and a skull, plus a guillotine. This was pretty much little more than The WWF Addams Family and it wasn’t any good.

From Toronto, Ontario, Canada, June 2, 1991.

Undertaker vs. Ultimate Warrior

Paul Bearer is here with Undertaker. Warrior cleans house to start and hammers away, only to get his neck snapped over the top rope. Back in and Undertaker grabs Warrior by the face, which was a big thing for him back in the day. This goes on for far too long, with Warrior powering out after nearly three minutes of Undertaker just holding his face. Warrior fights up but gets knocked down again, only to avoid the big running elbow. Another comeback is cut off and Undertaker hits a quick Tombstone but Warrior pops up. Then Undertaker hits him with the Urn for the DQ at 7:44.

Rating: D-. Warrior did pretty much nothing here other than surviving the Tombstone but then the match just ended before anything else could happen. It isn’t a good sign when so much of the match was spent with the Undertaker just standing there with his hand over Warrior’s face. Pretty horrible match here, and probably the only reason this tape was uploaded in the first place.

Post match Undertaker and Bearer load up a body bag but Warrior fights out and clears the ring.

Heenan and Gene argue over who is paying for the golf and a golf cart chase takes us out.

Overall Rating: D+. There are a few passable matches early on in the tap to carry things but this just falls apart after the six man tag. It’s a pretty sad day when you have Greg Valentine vs. Haku as a high point for the second half of a nearly two hour tape. While there are worse tapes out there and this did have a nice variety (with no Hogan anywhere to be seen), but dang the match quality is just not there to back it up. Find something else to watch.

 

 

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NWA TNA Weekly PPV #8
Date: August 7, 2002
Location: Tennessee State Fairgrounds, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Ed Ferrara, Don West

I keep thinking that these shows might get a bit better and that seems to be my problem. Most of the time, wrestling companies start to figure things out and the booking gets better, but this is Vince Russo’s TNA and things don’t get better around here. The big story this week is Ron Killings getting a World Title shot against Ken Shamrock so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Apollo and the Dupps are outside Ricky Steamboat’s office.

Amazing Red/Spanish Announce Team vs. Flying Elvises

It’s a brawl to start until Siaki is left alone to clothesline Red. Jose Maximo (brother of Joel) gets triple powerbombed and the Elvises get to pose and dance. For some reason Yang and Estrada go to commentary, leaving Siaki to get triple teamed in the corner. Then they sing a little Elvis as a surfboard/dragon sleeper combination sets up a top rope double stomp for two on Siaki.

Back up and Siaki fights back but he doesn’t want a tag from Yang. Red kicks Siaki down on top and it’s a double super Spanish Fly for two. Yang and Estrada come back in and take out the Maximos but Estrada gets caught in Code Red for two more. Estrada counters a double super Spanish Fly into a double super DDT to the Maximos. A top rope legdrop/splash combination hits Red but the other Elvises pose, allowing Siaki to steal the pin at 11:46.

Rating: B-. Oh that’s a Russo trait if I’ve ever seen one. You have the team who doesn’t get along but wins anyway, making the other team look that much worse. If Red and the SAT’s can’t beat Siaki when they have him 3-1, why should I believe they can beat pretty much anyone? It’s a bad idea and something that Russo absolutely loved, which shouldn’t be all that surprising.

We run down tonight’s card.

Apollo is mad at being left out of the World Title picture because it’s a show of disrespect. Why is Ron Killings getting the shot over him? Apollo accuses Ricky Steamboat of being corrupt (Mike Tenay is STUNNED) and promises to do something about it.

AJ Styles leaves Steamboat’s office and Apollo confronts Steamboat, who will talk to him on his own time. With that done, Jerry Lynn jumps Styles and a big fight breaks out before their match tonight.

Steamboat comes to the ring but the Dupps interrupt him. Steamboat isn’t having this and sends them to the back, telling them to do whatever they wanted. Oh that does not sound smart Dragon.

NWA World Title: Ron Killings vs. Ken Shamrock

Shamrock is defending and Steamboat is on commentary. Shamrock goes for the leg and Killings goes straight to the rope. A kick to the chest takes Killings down again as Steamboat talks about “them” holding him away from the WWF Title in 1987. Killings takes him down into a chinlock but gets pulled into a quickly broken kneebar. Back up and they collide for a double knockdown before Shamrock grabs a slow motion hurricanrana.

The ankle lock is broken up again as the Disciples Of The New Church are watching from the stage. Monty Brown comes out to watch as well as Shamrock hammers away and grabs a cross armbreaker (with Killings just laying there). They fight to the floor and (deep breath), Apollo, the Disciples Of The New Church, Don Harris, Monty Brown and Ricky Steamboat get into it with them. Apollo superkicks Shamrock by mistake and Steamboat throws him inside, where Killings hits a cutter for the pin and the title at 9:20.

Rating: D+. The match was a mess (believe it or not with that many people interfering) but it’s also the right move. Killings has at least been featured somewhat regularly while Shamrock has been this guy kind of off to the side who happened to be World Champion. Shifting the title to someone who is a lot more active and important is a good thing, even if it was as messy of a way to get the title off of him as possible. It didn’t help that the match was bad too, with the two of them having completely different styles which did not click whatsoever.

Post match Steamboat gets in the ring to call out Apollo, because THE WORLD TITLE CHANGING HANDS (and Killings becoming the first Black man to win the title) isn’t important enough to warrant a few moments to breathe. Steamboat grants Apollo a title shot, but, say it with me, Jeff Jarrett comes out to complain. Jarrett says he’s not getting the title shot because he’s white, because a Black man is champion and a Puerto Rican is getting the title shot (oh dear). Steamboat is tired of this (preach it) and makes a #1 contenders match with himself as guest referee for tonight.

And now, Jive Talkin with Disco Inferno but someone has stolen his set. Cue the Dupps to announce the Dupp Cup Invitational, which is for a family cup that they have used for moonshine over the years. This is the new hardcore division and they’re doing it because Ricky Steamboat said do whatever they want. They bring out a chalkboard with rules on it, saying you have to score ten points to win the match (this is going to be really, really stupid). We even have scoring options (and yes, they go over EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM):

Put an opponent through a table: 2.5 points
Put an opponent through a burning “tabel” (that’s how it’s spelled: 5 points
Put an opponent’s head in a toilet: 2.5 points
Put an opponent’s head in a toilet with waste in it: 3.5 points
Goose a woman: 2.5 points
Goose a man: 3.5 points
Hit Jeremy Borash: 2.5 points
Hit the ticket lady: 2.5 points
Use a farm animal of any kind in any way: 2.5 points

Note that at this point we cut to a fan with her hand over her mouth and a horrified look on her face. This is about as appropriate as anything you will ever see in wrestling.

Spank an opponent’s bare a** with “Horsey Poo” (a stick horse): 2.5 points
If the opponent likes it: -2.5 points
Introduce an opponent to Jai: 2.5 points (no, they do not specify who or what Jai is)
Cry like a pu**y: – 5 points
Put your opponent’s head in a cotton candy machine for one full rotation: 10 points, automatic win

In case that’s not enough, Disco starts suggesting his own scoring idea, such as using a weapon from a fan for 5 points, but the Dupps say that’s just 1. We’re going to even have the first match, with Bo Dupp defending the honor of his “girlfriend” Goldilocks. They offer 64 cents but then add in a night with Fluff Dupp…which is enough for Ed Ferrara to accept. He even gets a 2 point head start by decking Jeremy Borash. Then he jumps West and gets in a fight with Borash, which somehow makes it 6-0 as I guess this is a match.

Dupp Cup: Bo Dupp vs. Ed Ferrara

First to ten points wins and Ferrara is up 6-0. The Dupps chair him down a few times to make it 6-2 and more weapon shots make it 6-5 in a hurry. A blowup doll is brought in as this somehow gets dumber. Stan goes after the ticket lady, who comes out of her office with a broom to beat him up.

Paulina From Tough Enough (yes that is her official name) uses the chalk board to beat up Stan as Ferrara spears Bo at ringside. Somehow it’s 8 to 6.5 so Ferrara uses Horsey Poo…which Bo likes so it’s tied (I think, as this is somehow even dumber and messier than it sounds). The table is brought in but Bo chokeslams Ferrara through it to win at 6:45.

Rating: N/A. This wasn’t wrestling.

By the way: this whole thing, from the start of Disco’s segment to moving on to the next thing was over seventeen minutes. That’s longer than the main events of multiple Wrestlemanias. On this mess. The next time you’re at some low level, badly paying job, just remember that someone was paid to come up with this. See how much worse that makes you feel. Absolutely horrible and one of the dumbest things I have ever sat through in wrestling.

Earlier today, Mike Tenay sat down with Monty Brown. We hear about his career in football as part of the Buffalo Bills and now he’s wrestling. He had to fight to get a contract as an undrafted free agent so he knows about the politics that he’ll have to face in wrestling. As for Ron Killings, he’s tired of hearing about about “them” holding him back. Cue Elix Skipper with a bunch of yellow paint to cover Brown.

Don Harris vs. Malice

First Blood. They brawl around ringside to start as James Mitchell is on commentary. The fight goes into the crowd as we hear about the weird symbolism of the blood from last week. It’s BLOOD. This doesn’t require an explanation. Harris hits him with a chair and they walk around the building with Malice taking over.

They go to the ramp where Harris reverses a powerbomb into a backdrop but here is Slash to jump him as well. Harris takes a spike from Slash and busts him open but Malice jumps him again. Mitchell gets the ceremonial blood poured on him, followed by Harris hitting a Boss Man Slam. Somehow this busts Harris open (yep) and Malice wins at 6:28.

Rating: D. Somehow, this was miles better than the previous match and it was a terrible brawl. The first blood thing is something that fits into what they did last week, but Malice won while Harris, as in one of the HARRIS TWINS, was beating him up. You can’t have one of the Harris Twins take a pinfall against the person who was supposed to be the big monster? It’s no wonder this promotion is such a mess if that’s their mentality out here.

Post match the Disciples beat him up and leave him laying.

Sonny Siaki is looking for Ricky Steamboat. Taylor Vaughn comes in to jump Bruce (who is here too) and challenges him for tonight. Bruce is in, for an evening gown match. Then AJ Styles and Low Ki start brawling.

Apollo vs. Jeff Jarrett

#1 contenders match with Ricky Steamboat as guest referee. Apollo hammers away to start but Steamboat cuts him off, allowing Jarrett to get in a shot of his own. The fight heads outside but Apollo grabs a sitout powerbomb for two back inside. They go back outside where Apollo (already bleeding) is dropped onto the announcers’ table but Steamboat cuts off a chair shot.

Back in and Jarrett knocks him down for two before tying him in the Tree of Woe. Steamboat breaks that up so Jarrett goes with the Figure Four instead. Apollo is up at two arm drops and the comeback is on, including a DDT for a double down. The right hands in the corner have Jarrett in more trouble and the superkick connects but Jarrett gets a foot on the rope. Apollo grabs a German suplex but Jarrett gets his shoulder up for the (delayed) three count at 10:05.

Rating: C+. Yeah Jarrett won, but my goodness it was nice to see a match actually go clean around here. It wasn’t a great match or even a particularly good one, but what matters is that it was actually wrestling. After everything else tonight, I’ll absolutely take this, even if it was just ok for the most part.

Post match Apollo yells at Steamboat, who says he has no problem with Apollo but Jarrett won. With Apollo gone, Steamboat says Jarrett gets Killings….just not in a World Title match. Instead, it’s Jarrett and Killings against AJ Styles and Jerry Lynn in a Tag Team Title match. So yeah, there’s the screwy twist that they just have to do. The fans even boo, because not only were they screwed out of a title shot, but Jarrett is screwed over as well as he won that match 100% clean and is getting ripped off. Again: this booking is horrible.

Miss TNA: Bruce vs. Taylor Vaughn

Bruce is defending in an Evening Gown match so Bruce is indeed in a dress. Bruce immediately takes her down and hits a suplex before adding a faceplant. Then he takes Vaughn’s dress off for the win in a total squash. This stuff is still so dumb.

Post match Bruce strips to make the fans happy and we get a lot of pixelation.

Don West gives us a preview of next week’s show and shills merchandise. To be fair, this is his specialty and he’s awesome at this kind of thing.

X-Division Title: Low Ki vs. AJ Styles vs. Jerry Lynn

Styles is defending and gets double teamed to start, including a faceplant. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gives Lynn two on Ki but Styles is back up with a powerslam. Ki is back up with a dropkick and elbows but Styles pulls the referee in and kicks Ki low (there’s a joke there somewhere). Ki and Lynn strike it out until Lynn sends him to the apron for a legdrop over the rope.

The dragon sleeper has Styles and Lynn in trouble but Lynn takes Ki down. A top rope hanging DDT gets two on Styles with Ki making the save. Ki butterfly suplexes Styles for two and Styles puts Ki down for the same with Lynn making the save. Styles and Ki go up top and it’s a super sunset bomb to turn it into a Tower Of Doom. Ki gets back to back dragon sleepers for back to back saves.

Styles brainbusters Lynn for two but Lynn is back with a Ki Crusher 99 for two on Ki. Back up and Ki accidentally takes out the referee (ERG) but gets launched out to the floor. Styles chairs Lynn down so Ki covers for two, only for Styles to hit the Styles Clash to break it up….but Ki falls back on Lynn for the three (as in the third count, with the break apparently not mattering, which isn’t how it works in wrestling) for the title at 16:18.

Rating: A-. Rough ending aside, this was great. They were all going nuts and doing their thing as fast as they could and it made for an awesome match. As usual, the X-Division stuff is stealing the show and that shouldn’t be a surprise given what else we’re seeing. Excellent match here as they were doing everything they could for all of the time they had.

Jeff Jarrett and Ron Killings argue in the back as Styles beats up Lynn. Jarrett comes out to yell because OF COURSE he’s the last thing we see.

Overall Rating: C-. I’m not sure what it says when a show with that awesome of a main event, plus a good opener and a fine Apollo vs. Jarrett match is still so weak. The bad parts on this are just so bad that they drag down the good things. As usual with a Russo booked show, everything is just so all over the place and at times idiotic that you forget how good some of the wrestling really is. It’s an improvement over last week, and that’s all because of the X-Division carrying everything they can.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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NWA TNA Weekly PPV #7
Date: July 31, 2002
Location: Tennessee State Fairgrounds, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Ed Ferrara, Don West

While there are some interesting parts to this show, there are far more things where I either don’t know what is going on or even worse, I don’t care. Since security has given up around here, Ricky Steamboat of all people is going to be in charge this week. I’m sure he’ll set everyone right. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

X-Division Title: AJ Styles vs. Elix Skipper

Styles is defending and Jerry Lynn is on commentary. Skipper jumps him to start but Styles fights up with some right hands in the corner. A legdrop gets two on Skipper and a leg lariat puts him down again. Skipper is back up with a running forearm and a belly to back suplex cuts off Styles’ kicks to the ribs. A hard slam gives Skipper two and he knocks Styles down rather hard again.

Skipper kicks him in the back of the head and we hit a front facelock. That’s broken up and Styles tries a hurricanrana, which is countered into a powerbomb for two. Back up and Skipper tries a northern lights suplex but gets reversed into a guillotine for a smart counter. Styles leverages him out to the floor but Skipper switches places and hits a slingshot dive. Back in and Styles breaks up a springboard, setting up the Spiral Tap to retain at 12:40.

Rating: B-. This was a way for Styles to get a title defense against someone the fans are going to know. That’s the point of using people from WCW, as they are useful to boost up the new stars. Styles isn’t overly well known six weeks into the company’s history, but now they know he can beat a star from WCW. Build Styles up that way and let him go from here.

Ricky Steamboat has returned the NWA World Title to Ken Shamrock and lifted Jeff Jarrett’s suspension so Jarrett can face Scott Hall tonight. I mean, we don’t get to SEE these things but apparently they happened. And Malice stealing the title is just leading to….nothing? Sure.

As Elix Skipper is leaving, Monty Brown runs out to beat him up as payback from last week. The Alpha Bomb leaves Skipper laying. What a hero.

Here is Jeff Jarrett, carrying a big burlap sack over his shoulder, which appears to contain a person. Jarrett has to start from the bottom and work his way up to the top so he’ll start against….this kidnapped midget. Jarrett calls out anyone for a fight and gets Puppet, who pulls out a GUN. Security distracts him though, allowing Jarrett to drop Puppet with a chair. Cue Ricky Steamboat, with a Harris Twin and Bob Armstrong. Jarrett challenges Steamboat for a fight but Scott Hall sneaks in to chase Jarrett off before anything happens.

Sonny Siaki is fine with wrestling on his own tonight. And stop staring at his a**.

Slash vs. Sonny Siaki

James Mitchell is on commentary as Slash sends Siaki out to the apron. That earns Slash a hurricanrana to the floor but he sends Siaki into the barricade. Back in and an Eye Of The Storm plants Siaki again and Slash grabs the cobra clutch. They both go up and wind up crotching each other for a double down. Siaki fights up with some shots to the face and a pumphandle suplex gets two. Mitchell gets up on the apron for a distraction though and Slash puts a hood over Siaki, setting up a neckbreaker for the pin at 7:41.

Rating: C. It needed more Elvises. The match wasn’t much more than Siaki acting too much like Elvis as played by the Rock. Slash is just kind of a generic heel as well so there wasn’t much to be seen here. The New Church feels like a situation of “we need a weird heel stable” and that was the extent of the thinking behind it, which isn’t exactly inspiring.

Post match Slash ties him up in the ropes and Mitchell rubs blood on Siaki’s head. Don Harris, the head of security, comes in for the save.

Ricky Steamboat is here to lay down the law and he is not Bill Behrens.

Ron Killings comes out to complain about one of the cage dancers being exploited as a Black woman. She might claim to be a dancer, but she is nothing but a “$2 ho.” Violence is teased but Monty Brown comes in for the save, only to get hit in the head with something made of wood.

Cue Ricky Steamboat to say Killings has his attention, so have the guts to come say it to his face. Killings gets in his face but Steamboat doesn’t get his problem. Killings brings up Steamboat’s time in the WWF and says he was a fan. Steamboat was the Intercontinental Champion, but then it stopped. Why was that? It’s because the Intercontinental Title was always for second class citizens, which is just what is happening to him today. Steamboat actually agrees and gives Killings a World Title shot next week. Killings raps a bit. So did Steamboat just accuse the WWF of racism and side with the heel? Did I get that right?

Apollo vs. Malice

James Mitchell is here with Malice. Apollo jumps him to start but gets knocked into the corner without much effort. Something like a top rope leg lariat gives Apollo two and he knocks Malice outside to hammer away. They trade whips into the barricade until Malice takes him back inside for a powerbomb. A superplex gives Malice two and a middle rope legdrop connects for the same. Apollo was busted open somewhere in there but comes back with a DDT into a superkick for the pin at 6:34.

Rating: C+. This was mainly a brawl on the floor but that worked as you had two bigger guys here. Malice is a fairly generic monster but that’s the kind of thing you need to have on a show. On the other hand you have Apollo, who still feels like someone who could be something, with his look alone being a nice appeal.

Post match Malice chokeslams a referee so Don Harris runs in for the save. Slash comes in and helps tie up Don, who gets the blood treatment as well.

Don West brings out Taylor Vaughn for a chat about being Miss TNA but Bruce interrupts. Bruce wants a match for the Miss TNA title and gets kicked low, with the referee coming in.

Miss TNA: Taylor Vaughn vs. Bruce

A suplex gives Vaughn two but Bruce runs her over. The abdominal stretch has Vaughn in trouble and a spinning faceplant gives Bruce the win at 2:06. This is, in fact, stupid.

Post match Bruce cries after being given the tiara and sash.

Low Ki is ready to prove himself in the ring.

Low Ki vs. Jerry Lynn

AJ Styles is on commentary. Ki grabs a hammerlock to start but gets reversed into a headscissors. The grappling on the mat goes to a standoff so they fight over wrist control. Ki takes him down by the leg but gets reversed into an armbar and kicked in the head. Lynn’s tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two but Ki kicks him in the face for two.

It’s too early for the Ki Krusher 99 so Ki goes with a dragon sleeper in the ropes instead. Back in and Lynn gets in a facebuster but the cradle piledriver is countered into a triangle choke. That’s broken up (Styles approves) and Lynn hammers away. Ki’s dropkick into a jackknife rollup gets two and a springboard kick to the face knocks Lynn silly.

Another kick to the head gets two but Lynn catches him with a helicopter bomb for two. The dragon sleeper is countered into a tornado DDT to give Lynn two more but Ki kicks him in the head. Ki loads up the Ki Krusher 99, only for Styles to kick Lynn in the back for the DQ at 14:11.

Rating: B. These guys were rolling by the end and then it fell down a few pegs because of the lame ending. Other than that it was good stuff with both of them working hard and trying to steal the show, which they pretty much did again. Styles getting involved might make sense, but dang it would be nice to see a match end without something screwy happening.

Post match Ki plants Lynn as the match is a no contest, because a DQ apparently means something very different around here.

Don Harris wants a first blood match with Malice.

And now, it’s Jive Talkin, with Disco teasing that he’s going to replace Oprah Winfrey. He’s tired of the lack of skin around here so he introduces a “dumb b****” who is going to take her top off. The guest is Goldilocks and we talk about her music career a bit before he tells her to take off her shirt. That’s not happening so she slaps him and gets in a low blow but a woman from Tough Enough comes in to choke Goldilocks out. This show continues to go 100mph and it’s all about bringing in anyone who might have been around wrestling in any way.

Don West gives his usual overly hyped preview for next week and it’s awesome.

Scott Hall vs. Jeff Jarrett

Stretcher match. Hall brawls with Jarrett on the ramp to start and drops him face first onto the announcers’ table. They go up the ramp and into the back, almost going outside in the process. Hall uses various things to knock him back into the arena and Jarrett staggers into the crowd.

The stretcher (which is the kind that folds up rather than the traditional wrestling version) is pulled out and Jarrett hits him in the ribs but Hall whips him into it a few times. Hall drops him throat first onto the stretcher and then hits the Razor’s Edge…for two, as that’s what happens in a stretcher match. Anyway Ron Killings runs in for the save and gives Hall an ax kick so Jarrett can get two.

Monty Brown goes after Killings and Jerry Lynn goes after Jarrett so AJ Styles (who has pretty much NOTHING to do with ANY of this) comes in, only to get cut off by Don Harris. The Disciples Of The New Church take out Harris and we need a double count, with both of them getting up. They slug it out and Jarrett grabs a chair but Ricky Steamboat (the ninth person to get involved in the match) comes out to take it away. Steamboat takes it from Hall as well, but Jarrett hits the Stroke on Hall onto the chair for the win at 12:05.

Rating: D-. When you have enough people to present a decent battle royal involved in a singles match, you’re doing something wrong. Throw in the stretcher thing not making a ton of sense (at least not by the traditional definition) and this was, as usual, a Russo mess. Oh hey and Jarrett gets to stand tall again, because of course he does.

Hall is laid on the stretcher to end the show. Not moved, but just laid on it.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a show where the good parts are few and far between, because everything in between is so terrible and it kills the rest of the show. This show was built around Ricky Steamboat being in charge and we didn’t even get to see most of what he did. Other than that, you had Jeff Jarrett being brought back after a suspension (where he was threatened with another suspension, which doesn’t have much of a threat) and the rest of the dumb stuff filling it in.

This show is a mixture of some good action, which usually involves wrestlers who are able to avoid the storylines, and the worst of Vince Russo, who is getting to be his over the top worst here with no one to call him off. And odds are it’s only going to get worst as he loses whatever is left of his mind.

 

 

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Randy Savage Mixtape
Date: November 15, 2024
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bruno Sammartino, Tony Schiavone, Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan, Eric Bischoff, Steve McMichael, Larry Zbyszko

All hail the WWE Vault channel. So this is something unique as it’s a three hour mash up of matches, promos and various things from throughout Savage’s career. There is going to be some fascinating stuff in here to go with some classics and that should make for a very interesting watch. If nothing else, it’s always nice to see something from one of the best ever. Let’s get to it.

We open with an undated Randy Savage promo talking about how he’s been turning around a lot lately, so of course he turns around as he talks. Honky Tonk Man hasn’t been speaking very highly about Savage lately (putting this around 1987) and while he can’t sing or dance, he can make romance. If Elizabeth is going right, he’s going left. OH YEAH. As usual, I have no idea what he was talking about but it made sense.

We go to what looks like an empty building where Savage, billed as the World Heavyweight Champion, meaning we’re in the ICW out of Lexington, Kentucky, is beating up what I’d assume is a job guy. The middle rope elbow (more like a regular elbow drop without a jump as it was a work in progress) connects and Savage goes to the floor. Savage talks about WKYT Channel 27 (that’s the Lexington CBS station) is going to love him. It had no audience but you could absolutely feel the charisma dripping from him and he had to wind up on the big stage sooner than later.

Here’s something a bit more familiar. From Wrestlemania VIII.

WWF Title: Randy Savage vs. Ric Flair

Flair, with Mr. Perfect, is defending. This is the co-main event of the show, with Savage coming after the title and revenge for Flair suggesting that he had a relationship with Elizabeth back in the day, sending Savage even more out of his mind. Savage jumps him on the floor to start fast with Perfect having to make a save. They get inside with Savage hitting a clothesline and hammering away in the corner as Heenan is going nuts on commentary. Flair gets in a backdrop to send Savage outside (in a great bump) and a ram into the apron makes it worse.

A delayed suplex gives Flair two and a belly to back gets the same as Heenan wants to see the alleged centerfolds of Elizabeth, as promised by Flair. The knee drop connects as Gorilla isn’t having any of Heenan’s chattering. Another suplex drops Savage and Flair stomps away as the slow pace continues. Savage tries to punch his way out of the corner and the fans go nuts, setting up a neckbreaker for a double down.

Heenan needs a drink as Flair goes to the top, only to get slammed down (with Savage on the bottom rope). Flair gets flipped in the corner and goes up, with Savage clotheslining him out of the floor. A clothesline puts Flair on the floor and Savage ax handles him into the barricade, with Flair clearly blading and getting in a good bit of trouble as a result.

The bloody head is sent into various metal objects and there’s a Flair Flop. Savage suplexes him on the floor as Heenan is BEGGING for the match to be stopped. Back in and a top rope ax handle sets up the big elbow but Perfect breaks up the count. The referee lets it go and gets bumped as Savage goes after Perfect, who throws Flair an object. A big right hand gives Flair two and Perfect gets in a chair shot to the knee.

That gives Flair a target but here is Elizabeth at ringside (with a bunch of people, including a young Shane McMahon, failing to stop her). Flair gets the Figure Four, with Perfect assisting, and the referee breaking it up when Savage turns it over. Flair chops away and says this one is for Elizabeth, but Savage gets in a right hand and rolls Flair up (with trunks) to get the title back at 18:02, sending Heenan into hysterics.

Rating: B+. Yeah it’s still great, with the fans absolutely going nuts at every single thing in the match. You don’t see that kind of heat ever and it was carrying an already good match that much higher. The place came unglued when Savage won and it’s still a pretty awesome feel good moment. This was one of the last true high points for Savage in the WWF but he could more than still go, which makes his move to commentary all the more ridiculous. Anyway, awesome match even after I’ve probably seen it a hundred times.

Post match Flair goes after Elizabeth so she slaps him, sending Savage right back into the frenzy. Perfect gets back in as well and the beating is on (with blood on the back of one of the agents’ suits for a slightly disturbing visual). Flair and Perfect are sent to the floor and Fink gets to announce Savage as ONCE AGAIN the WWF Champion (no NEEEEEWWWWW but good enough). Pyro goes off and dang this would have made a great Night One main event if that was a thing back in the day.

And now, a Randy Savage music video, talking about how Savage gets the party jumping, looking (and feeling) probably from around 1993.

From WCW Worldwide, January 31, 1998.

Randy Savage vs. Ultimo Dragon

Elizabeth is here with (NWO) Savage and my goodness this is the kind of rarities I love from WWE. Savage teases a handshake and then kicks him in the ribs as commentary talks about how there aren’t as many old wrestling venues anymore. Dragon hits a dropkick but misses a second, only for Dragon to do his corner headstand. Some rapid fire kicks have Savage in trouble but he knocks Dragon back down. Elizabeth gets in some choking and Savage drops him throat first on the top. The big elbow finishes at 2:30. Not a squash, but Savage was never in any danger.

From what sounds like 1995, Savage says he beat the Zodiac and is ready for Hulk Hogan. Oh and Gene Okerlund’s mustache is crooked. Gene isn’t sure about that one and they’re out.

From 1985, with Savage in the ring with all of the heel managers who had been recruiting him. Savage thanks them for everything they taught him, only to introduce his new manage: Elizabeth. Bruno Sammartino on commentary asking if she’s a movie star is a bit creepy but it put over the idea well.

From a Superstars dark match, January 5, 1987.

Randy Savage/Honky Tonk Man vs. Hulk Hogan/Ricky Steamboat

Well that’s about the facest team that ever faced (and apparently they only teamed six times, mainly on house shows). Jimmy Hart and Elizabeth are here too. Savage throws in a chair and hits the referee by mistake and we start (minus a bell) with Honky Tonk being sent into a boot in the corner. Savage won’t tag in so Steamboat hits a crossbody for two.

Hogan comes in and Savage goes to yell at Elizabeth for some reason, with Hogan throwing him back in for a tag to Honky Tonk. Steamboat chinlocks Honky Tonk and hands it back to Hogan, with Honky Tonk bailing as fast as he can. An atomic drop out of the corner cuts off Honky Tonk’s comeback and it’s back to Steamboat for a sleeper. Savage finally gets in a cheap shot from the apron and now he’s willing to come in with a top rope ax handle.

Honky Tonk’s middle rope fist drop connects and he sends Steamboat outside for a slam on the floor while Savage offers a distraction. Back in and they ram heads, allowing Steamboat to get over for the tag off to Hogan. House is quickly cleaned and Steamboat hits the top rope chop but Honky Tonk shoves him off the top. Savage tries to bring in the bell and throws the referee down for cutting him off, which is enough for Steamboat to grab the bell instead. Savage and Elizabeth run off so Hogan and Steamboat beat up Hart as the match is thrown out at around 11:00.

Rating: C+. Oh like this wasn’t going to be a blast. It’s a match that they could have fun at a hundred house shows as the story is pretty much built in. Hogan could do anything and get cheered to the moon here while Savage and Honky Tonk Man had all of the heat. The match was exactly what you would expect and it didn’t need to be anything else.

From Tuesday Night Titans (Savage is Intercontinental Champion so this is probably 1986) with Gene Okerlund hosting for some reason. There is a doctor here who has been researching great macho stars and now he has done a study on Savage. We get a video of Savage on a psychiatrist’s couch for a word association game. After making sure it’s non-title, we’re ready to go (with the word and then Savage’s response):

Macho – “The Macho Man Randy Savage.”

Interesting – “Oh yes I am!” Then Savage realizes that’s not one of the words and accepts the doctor’s apology.

Pump – “Pumping iron.”

Gun – “Fastest gun in the east, west, south and north.” Why he points down on “north” isn’t clear.

Muscle – “Don’t help me, don’t help me, no problem.”

Belt: “Yeah that’s what I’m going to do to Hulk Hogan when I see him.”

Sweat – “Blood sweat and tears all rolled into one. That’s why I’ve got this.” as he holds up the title.

Kitten – “What women turn into when I look at them.”

Female – “The race of people that admire and lust after the Macho Man. Ask Elizabeth.”

Stud – “You’re looking at him right now in vivid living color.”

Sucker – “Hulk Hogan. That was a good one.”

Animal – “What do you mean animal???” Savage goes nuts at the mention of George Steele and storms off.

Total insanity as usual and I cannot imagine this was scripted in any way. It felt like they just told Savage to go nuts and that doesn’t seem too difficult.

From Monday Nitro, May 6, 1996.

Hugh Morrus vs. Randy Savage

Morrus jumps him on the floor to start and drops him onto the barricade as commentary talks about Ric Flair making Savage nuts. Morrus sends him into various things on the floor and PUTS ON SAVAGE’S HAT, which is enough to start the comeback. Savage chokes him with the shirt over the ropes and the match is thrown out at 2:58. More of an angle than a match, and oddly one of three matches these two had on Nitro over the years.

Post match Savage keeps up the beating and drops the elbow before beating up the referee as lair has driven him this crazy. The cops come in and Doug Dillinger says Savage needs to “check yourself into an institution.” The bell ringing over and over probably isn’t helping his mental state.

Savage kisses an Easter Bunny. Ok then.

From July 30, 1991, a dark match from a Wrestling Challenge taping. Ignore that Savage lost his career back in March at Wrestlemania and wouldn’t be reinstated until November.

Randy Savage vs. Undertaker

From what I can find, their only non-house show match ever. Savage strikes away in the corner to start and hits the big clothesline out to the floor. Undertaker lands on his feet and hits a Stunner over the ropes, with Paul Bearer declaring it all over. Undertaker chokes on the ropes and chokes some more in the air as Bearer says there will be no wedding at Summerslam.

We’ll go back to choking on the ropes and then onto the mat as Undertaker is really varying it up here. Savage fights up but charges into a knee in the corner, setting up Old School. A big running elbow misses though and Savage knees him out to the floor for the ax handle….and we don’t have the end of the match filmed. We saw about 7:00 and Savage eventually won by pin.

Rating: N/A. I won’t rate an incomplete match but it wasn’t anything great. It’s disappointing to not see the ending but I’ll take what I can get. This is the definition of a rarity and something that is rather cool to see, as those two could have done some good things together. Savage was still a few months away from coming back full time and he didn’t get to do much here, but the fans were still with him all the way.

From the ICW or maybe Memphis days, Savage drops an elbow into a pool.

We see some bloopers from the filming of the earlier music video.

From WCW Saturday Night, January 28, 1995.

TV Title: Randy Savage vs. Arn Anderson

Savage is challenging and Anderson has Colonel Robert Parker and Meng with him. An armdrag into an armbar has Anderson down to start and he has to roll his way out of a sleeper. Anderson shoulders him down for two but Savage drops a knee to send Anderson bailing to the floor. Meng’s distraction doesn’t work as Savage elbows Anderson in the face, only to get taken down back inside.

The chinlock has the fans bringing Savage back up but a running elbow drops him again. Back up and they ram heads for a double down before Anderson has to break up another sleeper. They slug it out from their knees as even Heenan is praising Savage for doing anything to win. The fight heads outside with Anderson being posted as we have five minutes left in the fifteen minute time limit.

Back in and Parker gets in a cheap shot, allowing Anderson to grab a chinlock. Savage jawbreaks his way to freedom and knocks Anderson to the floor with two minutes left. Anderson rolls through a high crossbody for two but Savage’s running clothesline gets the same. We have a minute left as Anderson can’t hit the DDT. Parker’s distraction lets Anderson hit a quick suplex but Savage drops him again. The top rope elbow gives Savage the pin at 15:15, meaning that he wins the match but not the title (as the title was only on the line for the first fifteen minutes, an old rule that allowed such finishes).

Rating: B. This got really good near the end as the time limit was becoming a big factor. I was wondering how they were going to get out of this one and I’ll take this over some lame DQ. These two worked well together, which isn’t surprising given how good they were, but you didn’t see them in the ring very often. Good match, especially on free TV.

Post match the Stud Stable comes in to beat Savage down but Dustin Rhodes and Sting make the save.

We get the famous Cream Rises To The Top/Cream Of The Crop promo, with Savage holding up a cup of cream and blames Jack Tunney for Ricky Steamboat being the Intercontinental Champion. He’s coming for the WWF Title.

A quick vignette shows Savage picking up a woman from a bench. The screen behind theme is white so I’m guessing it was part of some bigger video.

From a Superstars dark match, December 4, 1991.

Randy Savage/Jim Duggan/Roddy Piper vs. Ric Flair/Jake Roberts/Undertaker

Well ok then. Piper takes Flair into the corner to start but Flair leapfrogs (!) him and gets knocked to the floor for a breather. Roberts comes in to face Piper (that’s a weird one) but wants Savage. Piper: “You want him? You’re stupid!” It’s off to Savage, who clears Roberts out in a hurry before Undertaker comes in to choke Duggan. The big right hands get Duggan out of trouble (and actually look good on someone as big as Undertaker) but the neck snap over the top cuts off the comeback.

Duggan gets beaten into the corner but again slugs his way out, allowing the tag back to Piper. Flair’s poke to the eye lets Undertaker come back in for some choking, followed by some good old taunting from Roberts. The fans chant USA (for the Canadian born Scottish star) but oddly enough it works, allowing Savage to come in for a really fast comeback. Savage plants Flair and drops the big elbow for the pin at 8:48.

Rating: C+. Another fun match here and that’s what it needed to be. It was an easy way to send the fans home happy with Savage pinning Flair, who was still pretty new at this point. Duggan slugging away was good enough, even if he was pretty low down on the totem pole. This was the kind of random match I want from something like this and it worked well.

NWO Savage is in a parade and references Harvard, which might be him being named Hasty Pudding’s Man Of The Year (it’s a Harvard theatrical group).

Elizabeth brings Gene Okerlund to the pool for a sitdown interview with Savage. He’s very good at wrestling and no he didn’t get rich by “stealing” the Intercontinental Title. Now he wants the WWF Title and hey look there’s an airplane going by and he’s not on it because there’s no title defense up there (that was as random of a Savage moment as you’ll get).

Savage is still ready to come after Hulk Hogan and Gene asks Elizabeth about her recent activities, like golf, tennis and swimming. That lack of attention doesn’t work for Savage,, but Elizabeth gets a phone call, with a “national women’s publication” offering Savage half a million dollars for a centerfold. That’s a no and the publication can wait awhile.

Another call is from Japan, with a promoter offering $400,000 for Savage to wrestle three men. That’s a no as well but he’ll beat all three of them right here for nothing. This was on a Coliseum Video before (probably one about Savage) and it’s still good, with Savage being totally insane and making it work.

From Championship Wrestling, September 28, 1985.

Randy Savage/Jesse Ventura vs. Mike Rice/Mario Mancini

Elizabeth is here too and Savage orders her into the corner. Ventura takes Mancini into the corner for some shots from Savage and a kick to the back of the head. Rice comes in and Ventura drops a leg, setting up the elbow to complete the squash at 1:43.

Post match Ventura gets in a shouting match with broadcaster Bruno Sammartino.

WWF Champion Randy Savage and Elizabeth are in Paris. That’s it.

From Monday Nitro, January 20, 1997.

Savage storms the ring and throws a chair inside, saying he’s been blackballed and isn’t leaving until someone talks to him. He has a seat and shouts that HE’S WAITING so here is Chavo Guerrero Jr., who is scheduled for the opening match. Chavo begs Savage to leave but Savage isn’t budging, eventually taking Chavo out with ease. Chavo’s opponent, Maxx Muscle, comes in and gets laid out as well.

The referee gets beaten up, as does head of security Doug Dillinger. Alex Wright is the next victim so here are the Steiners and the Amazing French Canadians, none of whom are willing to get in. Sting lowers from the rafters (in front of the Chicago Bulls’ championship banners for a great visual) and gets in but Savage still isn’t getting out of the chair.

Sting hits the chair with the bat and then hands it to Savage, turning his back on him for the offer of a free shot. With Savage not swinging, they get out and leave through the crowd. I remember watching this life and it made Savage look like a killer. Then he turned on Sting and joined the NWO, which did make sense but was kind of disappointing as everyone was doing it.

We get a sitdown interview with Savage (looks 1993ish) where he talks about getting the Macho Man nickname during his baseball career.

Savage was in a WWF softball game and, believe it or not, hits a home run.

Gene Okerlund is cut off by Savage talking a million miles an hour, speaking about sprinkling magic dust and never worrying about the future. Savage: “Doing the thing and bang bang!”

From Superstars in 1991, Savage talks about returning to the ring at Summerslam…and then he proposes to Elizabeth. Piper: “GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES!” Elizabeth isn’t sure what to say, but then goes with the only possible answer: “OH YEAH!” This is still one of the best long form stories in WWF history and while it peaked at Wrestlemania, this was a great next step.

From (I’m assuming) Smoky Mountain Wrestling, Savage and Jim Cornette have a go-kart race. Savage destroys him as Cornette screams a lot. Cornette gets out and gets lapped before Savage chases him off the course. More goofy fun.

From….I have no idea actually but it appears to be a rematch from Wrestlemania III, putting it in the spring/early summer of 1987.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat

Savage, with Elizabeth of course, is challenging (I think). A lockup doesn’t go anywhere so Savage armdrags him down and points. Back up and Steamboat knocks him to the floor, with Savage needing a breather. Savage comes back in and elbows him in the head, meaning Steamboat goes to the floor for a change. Back in and Savage stomps away, sending him right back outside.

Steamboat gets back in and grabs the small package for the hope spot but Savage is out this time. A high crossbody is rolled through and Steamboat’s head gets tied in the ropes for a….well not really a breather in this case. With that broken up, Steamboat fights back but gets kicked in the face to cut that off in a hurry. Another shot to the face gives Steamboat three but Savage’s foot is in the ropes.

Some rollups give Steamboat two more, with a kickout sending the throat into the ropes. Savage misses a running crotch attack, allowing Steamboat to hit the top rope chop for two. They hit heads for a double down so Savage grabs the belt…which only hits turnbuckle, bouncing back into his face. Steamboat steals the pin to retain at 10:52.

Rating: B. I was worried coming into this one as I’ve seen rematches between them before and they really weren’t very good. This was quite different from what they did at Wrestlemania and that’s a heck of a trick, as it’s a rematch of one of the best matches ever. It was almost weird to see them doing something that wasn’t their classic match, but this was a nice, different direction.

Savage is ready to win the Intercontinental Title from Tito Santana, who is nothing but garbage compared to him. And yes, of course he has a trashcan with him, because Savage is good enough to realize that something that small was memorable. Santana is like a grain of sand in the Sahara desert and Savage is the entire desert.

From Monday Nitro, March 25, 1996.

Randy Savage vs. Belfast Bruiser

Bruiser is better known as Finlay. Savage shoves him away to start but gets caught in an early chinlock. Bruiser’s rough uppercut forearms just wake Savage up and he knocks Bruiser hard to the floor. That’s fine with Bruiser, who drops him onto the barricade and sends him over said barricade for a bonus. Back in and Savage avoids a charge into the post, setting up the big elbow for the pin at 5:06.

Rating: C+. This is a match that would have been rather different once Finlay developed his reputation but for now, it was mostly Savage getting beaten up and then hitting the elbow for a miracle win. In other words, just about all he did around this time. Savage could only do so much with his bad arm and while this wasn’t bad, it never really got going.

We get a quick (as in like ten seconds) rehearsal of Savage’s entrance from Wrestlemania IX with the arena empty for a weird visual.

From UK Rampage 1992.

WWF Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Savage

Savage is defending and has Elizabeth to counter Sensational Sherri. Heenan thinks Savage is either brave or stupid for coming in here on a bad leg. They fight over a lockup to start before Shawn sends him into the corner. Savage gets up a knee to cut off the charge though and Shawn needs a breather. The delay doesn’t work for Savage, who throws in a chair so we can reset things a bit. Some shoulders drop Savage but he’s right back with a clothesline to the floor, setting up a top rope ax handle.

With Savage occupied, Sherri goes after Elizabeth, which is broken up in short order. Shawn is right there for the save and sends Savage into the post to take over. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gives Shawn two and a swinging neckbreaker is good for the same. Savage is back with a shot to the face for two and Sherri is already panicking.

A big knee sends Shawn to the floor for a top rope ax handle, followed by another for two back inside. Savage tries it again but gets punched out of the air, setting up a hard clothesline for two. The superkick (not yet a big deal) gives Shawn two and the top rope fist drop sends Savage back to the floor. Back in and Shawn throws him over the top again, with Sherri getting in a hard kick of her own.

Savage gets back in and accidentally runs the referee over, meaning the top rope elbow gets no count. The referee is pulled back in for a VERY delayed two so Sherri gets on the apron, with Elizabeth shoving her down. Savage hits a high crossbody for two, followed by Shawn grabbing a top rope sunset flip for two. Back up and Savage hits another high crossbody for the pin to retain at 16:15, making me wonder if they didn’t get the right finish on the first one.

Rating: B. I’ve seen this one a few times before and it’s easy to see why Savage wanted to do something big with Shawn. You could see flashes of what Shawn would become later on and Savage was wise to want to be in on that. The match was good and let Shawn get a chance to rub elbows with the legend, which made for a rather nice showcase for both of them.

Post match Shawn jumps Savage again but Sherri’s boot shot misses, allowing Savage to clear the ring.

Overall Rating: A. Oh of course this was great as it’s exactly what I wanted out of something like WWE Vault. It’s a great mixture of stuff I’ve seen before and a bunch of rare/unreleased stuff without going with a bunch of stuff we’ve seen before (Wrestlemania III or IV). This was excellent and a real treat that had me wanting to see what was next, which isn’t a feeling I get very often. Definitely worth a look if you want to see one of the best ever.

 

 

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Survivor Series 1987
Date: November 26, 1987
Location: Richfield Coliseum, Richfield, Ohio
Attendance: 21,300
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura

This is the requested redo so we’ll go all the way back to the beginning of the series, which was quite the mess in its own right. The WWF had tried some elimination tags at house shows and they got over huge so it was time to run a full event of the things. If they could happen to screw over the NWA with its first pay per view on the same day, Starrcade 1987, so be it of course. Let’s get to it.

The Fink welcomes us to the show and introduces Jesse and Gorilla for commentary, which is a weird thing to see. I’m not sure I can ever remember WWF doing it otherwise. Monsoon’s first line of the show: “What are you doing Jess?” They intro the show and send us to the intro video, which could be on just about any weekend show.

Commentary goes over all of the matches in their always good conversational style. It’s fine that they disagree at times, but there are times where it feels like they are two people who respect each other and are even friends. That is so badly missing from commentary today.

We go over the rules of a Survivor Series match. It’s so weird having a time where that wasn’t commonly known.

The Honky Tonk Man is ready to go because he has an amazing team put together, even down to the managers. As for tonight, he might even SHAKE RATTLE AND ROLL ELIZABETH! Well that’s just not very nice. I love these group shots of the wrestlers, as not only do you get what most of them are, but it also screams 1980s so hard. Throw in Hercules looking like his head is about to explode and it’s even better.

Team Randy Savage wants to destroy everyone, with Hacksaw Jim Duggan especially wanting to take out Harley Race for hitting him with his own 2×4. Savage being all over the top is….well very Savage really.

Team Honky Tonk Man vs. Team Randy Savage

Honky Tonk Man, Ron Bass, Danny Davis, Harley Race, Hercules
Randy Savage, Ricky Steamboat, Jake Roberts, Jim Duggan, Brutus Beefcake

Entrances take forever, as we have ten people coming to the ring, with Jesse being in awe of Randy Savage’s entrance (fair enough, and Jesse was always a big Savage guy). Beefcake and Hercules get to make history as the first people ever to start a Survivor Series match, apparently as per the captains’ choice (which didn’t last long). A lockup goes nowhere so Beefcake tries strutting as Gorilla says the possible combinations of numbers are endless. Actually if my math is right it’s about 30 but I don’t question Gorilla.

A shoulder drops Beefcake but he’s right back with a quickly broken sleeper. Davis comes in and Beefcake cleans house without much trouble before pulling Davis back in. It’s off to Roberts to work on the arm and the good guys get to take turns on Davis. For some reason Roberts and Duggan tell Savage to hand it off to Steamboat instead of one of them, leaving Steamboat to miss a charge into the corner. Race comes in and gets in a few shots, only for Steamboat to chop him in the head.

Back to back skinnings of the cat leave Race frustrated so Steamboat throws him over the top instead. Steamboat brings Duggan in to slug Race outside and it’s a double countout for the first eliminations at 4:39. Back in and it’s Bass slamming Roberts but missing an elbow, allowing Savage to give him a running knee. Savage makes the mistake of going after Honky Tonk Man though, allowing the villains to get in a cheap shot. Bass comes back in and since it’s Ron Bass, Savage escapes with no trouble and brings in Beefcake for the high knee and the pin on Bass at 7:01.

Hercules comes in and takes over on Beefcake’s arm, allowing Honky Tonk Man to do the same. Beefcake punches his way to freedom, including a weird double punch that you would think someone else would have used before. Davis gets in a cheap shot from the apron though and Shake Rattle and Roll finishes Beefcake at 10:51.

As we get the world’s first and still only STEVE LOMBARDI RULES sign in the crowd, Savage comes in to chase after Honky Tonk Man but gets jumped by the legal Hercules instead. Dang man pay attention. For some reason Davis is allowed to come in and hammer on Savage, who elbows him in the head. It’s off to Roberts who can’t DDT Honky Tonk Man but can charge into a raised knee in the corner (which always looks painful). Davis comes back in (oh boy) for some shots to the ribs but Roberts shrugs it off and hits the short arm clothesline, setting up the DDT for the pin at 15:11.

Hercules is right there to take over on Roberts though, with Honky Tonk Man drawing in Savage, who is a bit too obsessed with revenge at this point (shocking I know). The chinlock goes on as commentary debates the merits of having the crowd on your side. Roberts fights up and knee lifts Honky Tonk Man away but Hercules is right there for his own chinlock. A jawbreaker gets Roberts out of trouble and the hot tag brings in Steamboat to clean house. The top rope chop to the head sets up the tag to Savage (Jesse: “Uh oh.”) for the top rope elbow and the pin at 21:04.

So it’s Honky Tonk Man vs. Savage/Roberts/Steamboat, with Savage missing a charge into the corner to give Honky Tonk Man a breather. Steamboat comes right back in and chops away before handing it off to Roberts to keep up the rotating beating. An atomic drop sends Honky Tonk Man over the top and that’s enough for him as he takes the countout (smartest thing he’s ever done) to wrap it up at 23:43.

Rating: B-. This is how you open a new concept show as you had stars that people cared about with a wide variety of eliminations and situations. It’s a good way to get the fans into what they’re seeing, with Savage doing everything he could to get his hands on Honky Tonk Man. Very fun match and a great choice to get things going.

Team Andre the Giant is ready to crush Hulk Hogan and friends tonight, with Slick being VERY over the top and Bobby Heenan being incredibly confident. One Man Gang, who is a huge man in his own right, being absolutely dwarfed by Andre is an amazing visual. Granted the closeup of Andre’s face as he says he’s coming for Hogan’s soul with his eyes bugging out is even worse.

Team Fabulous Moolah vs. Team Sensational Sherri

Fabulous Moolah, Rockin Robin, Velvet McIntyre, Jumping Bomb Angels
Sensational Sherri, Donna Christianello, Dawn Marie, Glamour Girls

It’s so weird to see a women’s match in this era but there is more than enough talent to make this work. For some reason Moolah is announced at 160lbs, which can’t be correct and certainly seems to offend her. Sherri jumps McIntyre to start fast and drops her with a running clothesline. Moolah comes in to beat on Sherri so Christianello comes in to get dropkicked by McIntyre. A victory roll gets rid of Christianello at 1:59 so it’s Robin coming in to dropkick Martin (Judy Martin of the Glamour Girls).

Sherri comes in for her own dropkick and hands it off to Marie (not THAT Dawn Marie, in a joke that no one has ever made before I’m sure), who is crossbodied for the pin at 4:11. Itsuki (of the Angels) comes in blows Jesse’s mind (you can tell he’s actually impressed) with her rollups and kicks to Kai. Sherri comes in and gets suplexed by Tateno, with Jesse being amazed that the champ is getting beaten up like this. Robin monkey flips Kai but gets pulled into the wrong corner so the beating can be on. Sherri hits a suplex to get rid of Robin at 6:56.

Tateno takes Robin’s place and is thrown around by the hair (OUCH) to put her in the corner. McIntyre comes in for a spinning crossbody (cool) and Moolah follows up with a dropkick. It’s off to Itsuki, who slams Kai off the top but misses a dropkick (popular move in this one). Moolah gets to hammer away a bit more but a blind tag lets Martin hit a clothesline for the pin at 8:57.

As commentary DOESN’T panic at the idea of the captain being eliminated, McIntyre comes in to Boston crab Martin. With that falling apart, McIntyre wisely switches to a bow and arrow, which doesn’t last long either. Sherri grabs a suplex, which leaves McIntyre landing kind of awkwardly on her neck/shoulders and she’s almost immediately over for a tag to Tateno. Martin suplexes Tateno for two and a bell in a rare timekeeper’s botch, with commentary IMMEDIATELY saying not so fast (take notes Michael Cole).

McIntyre’s back is fine enough to come in for a giant swing on Sherri, followed by another victory roll (which clearly in a lot of pain) and the pin at 14:56. Tateno comes back in as McIntyre can barely get out of the ring and has to almost lay on the apron. Kai blocks a suplex so it’s back to McIntyre, who tries another victory roll but gets slingshotted into an electric chair (that looked good) for the pin at 17:23. That would be McIntyre’s last match for over a month so there was something wrong.

We’re down to the Angels vs. the Girls with Tateno wasting no time in hitting a high crossbody to get rid of Kai at 18:43. Martin is on her own and starts with a fireman’s carry drop for two on Tateno. Itsuki comes back in for a top rope knee, Tateno dropkicks Jimmy Hart off the apron, and Itsuki adds a top rope clothesline for the pin at 20:18.

Rating: C. The wrestling wasn’t the best for the most part, but what is impressive here is that they had ten women who could put together a completely watchable match like this one. Women’s wrestling in the 80s gets a bad reputation but they were a genuine part of the card and had good matches in the right circumstances. This didn’t feel out of place whatsoever and the Angels were a total highlight so this was quite the fine use of 20+ minutes.

Team Hart Foundation, minus the national anthem singing Bolsheviks, are ready to win. A disheveled Jimmy Hart comes in and wants revenge.

Team Strike Force, not minus singing Russians, are ready to win.

Team Strike Force vs. Team Hart Foundation

Strike Force, Fabulous Rougeau Brothers, Killer Bees, British Bulldogs, Young Stallions
Hart Foundation, Demolition, New Dream Team, Bolsheviks, Islanders

If someone is eliminated, their partner is gone too. Volkoff jumps Martel to start and shrugs off a rollup without much trouble. Zhukov comes in and misses an elbow so it’s off to Santana for the flying forearm and the pin at 1:45. It’s off to Ax for the standard Demolition forearms to the back before Jacques gets to work on Bravo’s arm. The rapid fire tags leave us with Dynamite being dragged into the corner for a chop off with Haku.

Dynamite gets Haku over so the Bees can start in on his hamstrings and it’s off to Roma. Neidhart slams him down and Haku drops him with a clothesline. Smash’s slam sends Roma into the corner for the tag to Jacques, who is quickly dropped and pinned by Smash at 5:50.

Powers comes in and gets put on Neidhart’s shoulder for a top rope forearm from Haku (that’s a cool move and could have been a decent finisher for a team) and two. It’s back to Roma, who gets shouldered breakered and suplexed by Valentine. Smash misses a charge though and it’s Dynamite coming in to get kicked in the face. The beating continues but Smash throws the referee down and that’s a DQ at 9:22.

Powers sends Tama into the corner and gets clotheslined for his efforts as neither Gorilla nor Jesse can get Tama’s (Haku/Toma) name right. Martel comes in to dropkick Tama but he’s WAY too close to the ropes for the Boston crab. Neidhart makes the save so Santana comes in with the flying forearm, meaning Hart has to make a save. It’s such a save that Neidhart pins Santana at 12:05 as the field has thinned quite a bit (as it needed to).

As Jesse talks about his great great great grandfather Ephraim the Body coming over on the Mayflower, Bret hits a backbreaker on Powers and Tama adds a top rope knee for two. Oddly enough, Hart allows powers to get over for a tag to Roma, which felt rather out of the norm for him. It’s right back to Powers as Jesse wonders why the beaten up Stallions wouldn’t tag in a fresh Bee or Bulldog. Roma gets knocked into the corner for the tag to Dynamite, who suplexes Hart for a fast two.

Bulldog headbutts Haku over and over and somehow doesn’t knock himself silly. Powers misses a charge and gets taken into the wrong corner but it’s right back to Bulldog. The gorilla press gets two on Bret and the running powerslam gets the same on Haku. Dynamite adds the flying headbutt and knocks himself silly on Haku’s head, with Jesse going right into the rant about how stupid that was. A superkick gets rid of the Bulldogs at 19:59 and we’re down to Harts/Islanders/Dream Team vs. Bees/Stallions.

The Dream Team takes over on Powers as commentary talks about how the villains don’t really like each other anyway. The side slam drops Powers, who kicks away Valentine’s Figure Four attempt. That’s enough for Roma to come in off the top with a sunset flip to pin Valentine at 23:29.

Blair comes in for a jumping knee for two on Neidhart so Hart gets to try his luck. A headlock drags Roma over for the tag to Tama, who kicks Roma down without much effort. Haku misses a legdrop though, allowing Blair to hit his own legdrop for two. Roma comes back in and gets suplexed so Tama can rip at Roma’s eyes.

Haku hits a dropkick and Gorilla says he’d like to see Neidhart try that. Before the words are out of his mouth, Neidhart hits his own dropkick in a spot so perfectly timed that it had to have been a coincidence. Brunzell comes in and tries to slam Hart but Tama kicks him down…with Brunzell rolling through to pin Hart at 29:29.

So it’s the Islanders vs. the Bees/Stallions, with Tama going right to the nerve hold. Haku comes in for a nerve hold of his own before it’s back to Tama for the third nerve hold. A suplex mixes things up a bit for two but Brunzell manages to knock his way to freedom. Roma comes back in for two off a powerslam but Haku takes him down again. Jesse praises the Islanders for being saucy with hard heads as Haku misses an elbow, allowing the diving tag back to Brunzell. Gorilla isn’t sure what’s up with that as a masked Killer Bee (their method of cheating) slingshots in with a sunset flip to pin Tama for the win at 37:16.

Rating: A-. This was all about the talent involved as you had one great combination after another. The Stallions and Bees getting the glory in the end was a little weird but points for trying to put someone else over. Good stuff here and all the proof you need that this was the golden age for tag team wrestling, as there were all kinds of good to great teams in there and it doesn’t feel anywhere near the forty minutes that it runs.

Ted DiBiase talks about how great Thanksgiving is and we see a montage of him doing horrible things to people. Of note: a boy who gets a basketball kicked away from him is one Rob Van Dam. Then DiBiase has a catered dinner because he is one of the best villains in the history of wrestling.

Commentary talks about the show so far, with Jesse thinking that Honky Tonk Man did the right thing by walking away instead of risking an injury. This is the friendly chat that made their commentary feel real as compared to the constant yelling and insulting exchanges that you see too often with modern heel commentators.

Jesse is also REALLY impressed by the Jumping Bomb Angels, saying that the Glamour Girls (Women’s Tag Team Champions) are in trouble. He compares the Angels to a Dynamite Kid, a Ricky Steamboat or a Randy Savage, saying “that was fantastic, I enjoyed it”. That is how you put a team over. On the other hand, Jesse isn’t happy with the Killer Bees using their mask trick and wants an investigation. They’re both really looking forward to the main event though, because Hulk Hogan is getting back in the ring with Andre the Giant.

Honky Tonk Man insists that he is the real survivor and will face Hulk Hogan any time. This is pretty clearly intermission as they wait around on the main event, which makes sense on a four match show.

Team Hulk Hogan is VERY fired up with Hogan talking about how hungry the team is. That bandanna with the tassels hanging down over Hogan’s eyes is always a weird look.

Team Hulk Hogan vs. Team Andre The Giant

Hulk Hogan, Don Muraco, Ken Patera, Paul Orndorff, Bam Bam Bigelow
Andre The Giant, Rick Rude, One Man Gang, Butch Reed, King Kong Bundy

Bobby Heenan handles Andre’s introduction, which is a very Heenan thing of him to do. Hogan of course gets his own entrance, which is a very Hogan thing to do….but egads you can hear the reaction when he comes out with that American flag. Jesse: “I’m not even going to try to talk over this.” Gorilla: “Good thinking.” Muraco and Rude start things off with Rude hammering away in the corner. Orndorff comes in and knocks Rude into the corner so Hogan can come in for a very rare meeting with Rude (they didn’t like each other).

It’s off to Bigelow for the running headbutt and a gorilla press as they’re certainly starting fast. Patera screws up (shocking) by knocking Rude into the corner for the tag to Reed, who gets dropkicked down by Muraco. Orndorff hits some dropkicks of his own as even Jesse says Andre’s team isn’t doing so well so far. Hogan drops the leg and that’s it for Reed at 3:04….and it’s Andre time.

Some high fives to Patera count as a tag though and Jesse is ALL OVER Joey Marella for calling that a tag and trying to save Hogan again. Hogan protests too but doesn’t think about, you know, tagging right back in, leaving Andre to say the heck with Patera and hand it off to Bundy.

Some forearms don’t go anywhere so it’s off to Gang, who gets knocked into the corner by Orndorff. Rude comes back in and gets elbowed and slammed, with Jesse saying Rude just isn’t having a good night. Patera manages to crossbody Gang down for two but gets taken into the wrong corner so the beating can ensue. Gang and Patera hit double clotheslines but Gang falls on him for the pin at 8:44.

Hogan comes in to hammer on Gang (that’s his bread and butter), setting up a double big boot with Bigelow. Gang gets over to tag in Rude, who gets beaten down again by Orndorff. A cheap shot from Bundy breaks up the piledriver though and Rude grabs a rollup with trunks for the pin at 10:22.

Save for a house show feud with Rude, that was it for Orndorff in the WWF. Muraco comes in to powerslam Rude for the pin at 11:10, leaving us with Muraco/Hogan Bigelow vs. Gang/Bundy/Andre. Bundy misses a knee drop and Muraco is smart enough to go right after that leg. It’s already back to Gang, who falls on top of Muraco during a slam attempt. The big splash is enough to finish Muraco at 12:54.

Bigelow comes in and gets clotheslined right back down by Bundy. Hogan has to make a save, with Gorilla immediately saying that he has a five count to get out. Jesse doesn’t stand for that (good for him) as Bundy comes in to hammer on Bigelow. Jesse: “You won’t see any hair pulling here.”. It’s off to Andre but Bigelow rolls over for the tag to Hogan and OH YEAH the fans are into this. Hogan wins a chop/slug out but gets pulled to the floor. Hogan slams Gang and Bundy….but gets counted out at 18:13, leaving even Jesse stunned. Since it’s Hogan, he refuses to leave until he is threatened with a forfeit.

So it’s Bigelow vs. Andre/Bundy/Gang as Jesse praises Gang and Bundy for being glorified pawns to get rid of Hogan. Bigelow stretches a bit before jumping on Bundy to start fast. A clothesline sets up a falling headbutt for two but a dropkick doesn’t drop Bundy. Instead Bigelow takes him down by the leg and a slingshot splash gets rid of Bundy at 20:48. It’s off to Gang, with Jesse saying he can pick which of Bigelow’s tattoos he wants to hit.

Bigelow charges into a boot in the corner so Gang goes up top (uh oh) and misses a splash, allowing Bigelow to get the pin at 23:05. That means it’s Andre vs. Bigelow and I think you know where this is going. A big right hand knocks Bigelow into the ropes but he holds on to avoid a big boot. Bigelow rolls away a few times but gets caught in the corner for the shoulders. A butterfly suplex/hiptoss finishes Bigelow at 24:21.

Rating: C+. This was more or less the semi-sequel to Hogan vs. Andre at Wrestlemania III and Andre wins to help rebuild him. The big rematch was coming later of course, but for now, Andre wins and that is enough to keep things going. The rest of the match was only so good, but what matters here is getting Andre back to being a force and making Bigelow look like the next big thing, even if he was all but done in about six months.

Post match Hogan IMMEDIATELY runs out and beats up Andre to clear the ring. Andre wants to come back in but Bobby Heenan holds him off and says not until Hogan signs on the totted line. Hogan poses a lot and yeah there’s no defending how much of a sore loser he’s being here.

In the back, Heenan and Andre say if Hogan wants Andre, sign the contract for another title match.

Hogan is STILL posing and Gorilla is STILL defending him as Jesse is thrilled at the idea of getting out of Cleveland.

A highlight package wraps us up.

Overall Rating: B. The word here is fun. This is a show that had a concept and they RAN with it, giving us a very entertaining night. No it wasn’t anything that really mattered for the most part, but some of the falls and results could be spun off for months on the house show circuit. The big there here though is that they put a bunch of people (fifty wrestlers in four matches is nuts) on the show so you were almost guaranteed to see someone you liked and it would be hard to not have a good time. I’ve seen this show more often than I can count and it absolutely holds up as a hidden gem of the Golden Era. Check this out if you can.

 

Ratings Comparison

Team Randy Savage vs. Team Honky Tonk Man

Original: B+
2012 Redo: B
2022 Redo: B-

Team Sherri Martel vs. Team Fabulous Moolah

Original: C+
2012 Redo: C+
2022 Redo: C

Team Hart Foundation vs. Team Strike Force

Original: B
2012 Redo: C-
2022 Redo: A-

Team Hogan vs. Team Andre the Giant

Original: B
2012 Redo: B-
2022 Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: A-
2012 Redo: B+
2022 Redo: B

It’s still a good show but WHAT WAS I THINKING ON THAT TAG MATCH???

Here is the original if you’re interested:

And the 2012 Redo:

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

WCW Saturday Night
Date: August 27, 1994
Location: Center Stage, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

So this was posted live on the incredible WWE Vault YouTube channel and we might as well take a look at it. There doesn’t seem to be anything significant to the show other than the star power and I’ve heard worse excuses to watch the show. We’re just done with Clash Of The Champions XXVIII, meaning Hulk Hogan has been attacked and injured by a masked man. Let’s get to it.

Dig that old school robotics intro. Dang this is a strong flashback right out of the box.

We open with a long Clash recap.

Commentary welcomes us to the show, with Bobby Heenan being fine with being in a neck brace because Hulk Hogan is hurt even worse.

Ricky Steamboat vs. Tom Burton

Steamboat’s US Title isn’t on the line and the Blacktop Bully (Barry Darsow as a mean truck driver, because WCW) yells at Steamboat from the crowd before the match. Burton headlocks him to the mat to start but Steamboa-t drop toeholds him into an armbar. That’s reversed into a suplex to give Burton two and he even cuts off Steamboat’s chops. Steamboat chops him down anyway and, after waiting for Burton to get up, hits the high crossbody for the pin at 2:46. Burton got a good bit in here, mainly because it’s Steamboat and that means a lot of selling.

Gene Okerlund shills the Hotline, as tends to be his custom.

Stud Stable vs. Joey Maggs/Todd Morton

That would be Bunkhouse Buck/Terry Funk with Colonel Parker and Meng. It’s a brawl to start and the Stable is whipped into each other, resulting in quite the pratfall. Back up and Morton, who looks a lot like a smaller Bobby Eaton, monkey flips Buck to no avail. Funk comes in and hammers away but Morton, who even has Eaton style tights, flips out of Buck’s backdrop and hands it off to Maggs. That’s fine with Funk, who plants Maggs with a piledriver so Buck can finish with a left hand at 3:36.

Rating: C. I’m convinced that Funk could make a trip to the dentist fun, as he turned this into an entertaining match. Buck was good in his own right, making this a far more engaging match than it should have been. Maggs was around for a long time and Morton…well he certainly looked like Eaton.

Post match the Stud Stable looks at a clip from the Clash, where Meng no sold Dusty Rhodes breaking a wooden chair over his head. This was a complete redo of Rhodes’ angle with Big Bubba Rogers, which turned him into a star. Back in the arena, the Stable, including Cowboy Arn Anderson, is ready for Dusty and Dustin in WarGames at Fall Brawl. Terry Funk even feels sorry for Dusty!

TV Title: Johnny B. Badd vs. Lord Steven Regal

Regal, with Sir William, is defending and there is a ten minute time limit. They lock up to start and Regal gets backed into the corner a few times. That’s reversed into a battle over arm control, meaning Regal needs to bail over to the ropes. The exchange of arm cranking continues until Regal needs a breather (complete with seething) on the floor.

Back in and Regal avoids a charge to send Badd crashing into the ropes, meaning Regal can grab a cobra clutch. Badd fights up but gets elbowed in the face to put him back down. We have less than two minutes left as Regal knocks him back down for two more. Badd fights up with a backdrop and a suplex but time expires at 9:36 (called 10:00) for the draw.

Rating: C. Not the most thrilling match but they weren’t hiding the impending draw most of the way through. It just wasn’t that interesting though, which isn’t exactly out of the norm for Regal around this time. That is only going to get them so far, but I remember BEGGING someone to take the title from Regal so he was certainly doing something right.

Post match Badd jumps Regal and William so Regal says he wants a rematch at Fall Brawl.

Steve Austin vs. Chris Michaels

Michaels works on the arm to start but gets snapmared down. Austin misses an elbow so Michaels grabs a headlock, only to get taken down for a knee to the back. Austin starts in on the leg before That’s A Wrap (standing reverse figure four) makes Michaels tap at 2:31.

Sting vs. John Faulkner

Sting shoulders him down to start and slaps the turnbuckle a few times but Faulkner kicks away in the corner. That’s shrugged off and the Stinger Splash into the Scorpion Deathlock finishes Faulkner at 1:29. Squash.

Cactus Jack says he and Kevin Sullivan are done. Jack talks about how Sullivan started making Jack’s career work but now they’re through because it’s time to become a singles wrestler. Sullivan’s dyslexic brother Evad (just go with it) tries to calm things down and gets DDTed for his efforts. It’s weird seeing Jack use a one armed version.

Commentary isn’t sure who Dusty and Dustin Rhodes could find as partners in WarGames but we see a video of Dusty going to a rather tough bar. Inside he finds the Nasty Boys, who, after having their nastiness questioned, are talked into joining Dusty and Dustin. This was such a weird choice for WarGames.

Harlem Heat vs. Buddy Wayne/Barry Houston

As has been their custom lately, Harlem Heat gets orders from their mysterious manager over their (brick sized) phone. Booker and Houston start things off as Heenan thinks Harlem Heat is on their way to becoming champions. Houston gets two off a rollup so it’s off to Wayne, who gets kicked in the face. An assisted Stun Gun drops Wayne again and the spinning forearm puts him down for a third time. Ray comes in for a running powerslam and the Heat Bomb (powerbomb/top rope elbow combination) finishes at 4;01.

Rating: C. You could see Harlem Heat starting to come into their own as a team and it was a lot of fun to watch them putting things together. The talent was there and it would eventually turn into one of the best tag team runs in a long time. Not uch of a match here but the phone thing was intriguing at the time.

Post match Harlem Heat gets what seems to be a rather positive phone call. They go over to Gene and say they’re here to stay and want the Tag Team Titles. Their manager will get them to the top and you do not need to know who it is. That would wind up being Sister Sherri.

We look back at Hulk Hogan being attacked by a masked man at Clash Of The Champions, which was WCW copying the Tonya Harding/Nancy Kerrigan story. Later in the night, Ric Flair wanted to be named World Champion but Hogan limped back to the arena and lost the title match…via countout. After the match, the Masked Man (clearly Arn Anderson) came in and wrecked Hogan’s knee. The masked man would lead to Brutus Beefcake headlining Starrcade, again, because WCW, when Mr. Perfect fell through.

Nick Bockwinkel announces that Ric Flair is suspended from wrestling throughout North America. He also bans Sherri Martel for being Flair’s associate. Since it’s Nick Bockwinkel, this takes FAR longer than it needs to.

Vader vs. Chris Nelson

Vader has Harley Race with him and slugs Nelson down, followed by more slugging in the corner. The powerbomb is enough for…well not a pin as Vader doesn’t cover but he insists the referee count Nelson out at 2:03.

We go to the Fall Brawl Control Center, with Ric Flair suspended and Ricky Steamboat st to defend the US Title against Steve Austin (not quite). Speaking of Austin, he talks about how Steamboat has inspired him to wan the title back. Steamboat doesn’t care for Austin’s comments and is ready to give Austin a rematch.

CALL THE HOTLINE!

Tag Team Titles: Nasty Boys vs. Pretty Wonderful

Pretty Wonderful is defending. Sags and Orndorff start things off with some circling until Orndorff stomps him down in the corner. Everything breaks down and some clubberin sends the champs outside. Back in and Knobbs cleans house before Sags grabs a headlock. Roma gets in a cheap shot though and Sags is (illegally) thrown over the top.

Roma’s top rope elbow gets two and he sends Sags face first into the mat to keep him in trouble. Sags fights back and grabs a sleeper before slamming Roma down. That doesn’t last long as Roma goes up, only to dive into a slam. Knobbs comes in and cleans house but throws Roma over the top for the DQ at 9:00.

Rating: C. I never got the appeal of Pretty Wonderful but they were fine enough as a team. That was on full display here as they were mostly trying to have a run of the mill match with the less than traditional Nasty Boys. As usual, the over the top rule is dumb, but that was a thing in WCW forever.

Post match the Stud Stable runs in to beat the Nastys down and post break, the team promises to win WarGames. Terry Funk barks a lot because Dusty is an EGG SUCKING DOG to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The matches were all run of the mill at best but the main thing here is they built up the big match for Fall Brawl while also addressing the big Hogan/Flair story. WCW doesn’t have the best reputation around this time but my goodness there is a lot of talent on here. It was a breath of fresh air to watch and it would be great to see more random shows, either from this era or anywhere else. WWE has such a huge archive and it’s great to see something like this every so often. Lot of fun here, and I could go for more.

 

 

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Beach Blast 1992
Date: June 20, 1992
Location: Mobile Civic Center, Mobile, Alabama
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jesse Ventura

This is one of those shows that is rather widely revered among WCW fans and I’ve raved about it myself for quite a long time. I haven’t looked at it in a very long time so it feels a redo is in order. The show has quite the stacked card, including Sting vs. Cactus Jack, Rick Rude vs. Ricky Steamboat in an Iron Man match and quite the different choice of main event. Let’s get to it.

The opening sequence is just a quick rundown of what’s coming. I remember loving that muscle made of water logo as a kid and it still looks pretty nice.

Tony Schiavone and Eric Bischoff welcome us to the show and bring in Bill Watts (the boss) for a chat. He’s glad to see what is happening tonight, starting with the Light Heavyweight Title and ended with the Tag Team Titles. Yeah the Tag Team Titles are main eventing because Watts is kind of a weird guy. He also explains the big stipulations for later, which isn’t a bad idea.

Jesse Ventura is on the stage with a variety of swimsuited women. The four of them escort him down to the ring, looking as thrilled as you would expect.

Light Heavyweight Title: Brian Pillman vs. Scotty Flamingo

Flamingo, who would stick with the bird theme by becoming Raven, is challenging. They fight over a lockup to start and go absolutely nowhere early on. The grappling goes to Pillman, who gets a hammerlock and then does it again for a bonus. Flamingo makes the rope for the break as Jesse goes on a rant about not being the emcee for the bikini contest between Missy Hyatt and Madusa. Pillman isn’t having any of Flamingo throwing punches and knocks him into the corner before going with the hammerlock again.

The short armscissors stays on the arm, which Jesse dubs a wear down hold. Back up and Pillman hiptosses him into the corner as Ross reminisces about Danny Hodge. The arm cranking is on again but Flamingo manages to fight up, only to get dropkicked and tied into the ropes. Pillman knocks him out to the floor, where there are no mats because Bill Watts is kind of nuts.

Back in and Pillman goes up but stops because coming off the top is a DQ (another weird Watts rule) so Flamingo sends him through the ropes for a dive (because throwing someone over the top is a DQ and coming off the top is a DQ, but throwing yourself over the top is fine). Back in and a middle rope shot to the back gives Flamingo two before he drives some forearms into the chest.

A quick sunset flip gives Pillman two of his own but Flamingo is right back with the chinlock. That includes some cheating and commentary actually breaks down how much it helps, which is a level of dedication you don’t see very often. Pillman fights up and avoids a charge in the corner, leaving Flamingo down for a change. Not that it matters as Pillman can’t fight up and Flamingo is right back with the chinlock.

That’s reversed into a sleeper but Flamingo escapes for a double down, leaving Jesse to yell about Pillman not wearing Flamingo down enough first. We get the fifteen minute call less than fourteen minutes in and Flamingo rakes the eyes to put him down again. Flamingo goes to the middle rope (you can hear Ross having to catch himself because he’s expecting the top) but gets dropkicked out of the air.

The comeback is on with Flamingo being sent into the buckles, at least until he comes back with a powerslam (with trunks) for two. Pillman’s leg seems to be in trouble but he’s fine enough to catch Flamingo with a belly to back superplex for two more. A clothesline to the back of the head drops Flamingo again and Pillman sends him onto the ramp. Air Pillman misses though and Pillman’s face hits the ramp HARD. Back in and Flamingo drops a middle rope knee for the pin and the title at 17:30.

Rating: B. Lack of being able to go up top aside (because Watts), it was a rather awesome opener, complete with Flamingo winning clean (that’s VERY Watts) and becoming a much bigger star as a result. That being said, the Light Heavyweight Title was little more than a belt for about three people, but it did give us some pretty awesome action around this time. Rather good stuff here and one of the best of Flamingo’s career.

Here is Johnny B. Badd to start the bikini contest, with Jesse questioning if Badd even likes girls. We have three rounds, stating with evening gowns (as you wear on the beach). They both come out, they walk the ramp, Madusa is in some weird wedding dress kind of deal with a veil, you can pay to vote on the Hotline, more on this later.

The Great American Bash is coming with Sting vs. Vader and A LOT of tag matches.

Ron Simmons vs. Taylor Made Man

Schiavone and Bischoff give us a bit of a preview for this match, which seems like some major overkill. That would of course be Terry Taylor, but now he’s dressed really nicely. We get an extended set of referee’s instructions as this match is getting WAY more focus than it requires. Jesse fills in time by asking what you Simmons can open with the key to the city that he received earlier today. Simmons powers him into the corner without much trouble to start and some three point shoulders have Taylor in more trouble.

They go to the ramp where Simmons atomic drops him (no funny sell, which seems appropriate here) into a gorilla press. That lets Simmons throw him over the top and back inside, which has Jesse questioning the DQ rules as well. Back in and Simmons grabs the bearhug for a bit, only to miss another of those running tackles to send himself outside again. The chinlock with a knee in the back has Simmons in trouble but he fights back up with a spinebuster. This lets Ross talk about college football, which granted isn’t a hard path to get him to take. Back up and a snap powerslam finishes for Simmons at 7:09.

Rating: C. This was the kind of match you would see filling in time on pay per views back in the day, meaning it was watchable enough and not much more. Simmons is on his way up and felt like a big star here, which makes his World Title win a few months later all the less surprising. As for Taylor….well his entire gimmick is built around how nicely he’s dressed, so you should know where he is here.

Post match Simmons says his goal is still to be the best that he can be. It doesn’t matter what color you are or what poverty level you’re at, you can be the best if you work at it every day. That’s downright wholesome.

Greg Valentine vs. Marcus Alexander Bagwell

As usual, Ross gets to name drop Sprayberry High School, which is the one thing that they hammered in about Bagwell for years. Valentine backs him into the corner to start but gets armdragged down, much to Valentine’s annoyance. Some elbows stagger Bagwell, who is back with an atomic drop into a dropkick to send Valentine outside.

Back in and the fans approve of Valentine’s clothesline, only for Bagwell to avoid a really slow middle rope elbow. Valentine is fine enough to go after the knee but it’s too early for the Figure Four. Some rollups give Bagwell two each and a suplex gets the same as this isn’t exactly taking off. A backdrop gives Bagwell another two but Valentine kicks the knee out. The shinbreaker sets up the Figure Four to give Valentine the win at 7:17.

Rating: C-. What in the world was this doing on pay per view? You have a long established veteran like Valentine beating a much younger and more marketable star like Bagwell clean? I really don’t get this one and it was one of the bigger headscratchers that I’ve seen in a good while, even from early 90s WCW. The match wasn’t even that good as it was slow (yes, in a valentine match) and felt like it was there to fill in time.

Commentary hypes up Sting vs. Cactus Jack, Falls Count Anywhere, without actually showing Sting, or saying WHY they’re fighting. Basically Jack was one of the people Lex Luger had sent after Sting and now that Luger is gone, Sting is tying up some loose ends before having the big title defense against Vader next month.

Sting vs. Cactus Jack

Falls Count Anywhere and Sting’s World Title isn’t on the line. They go at it on the ramp to start and Sting gets an early two off a backslide. A backdrop on the ramp and a bulldog have Jack in trouble (that ramp is LOUD) but he avoids the running splash to send Sting into the ropes (rather than the barricade for a change). The elbow off the apron crushes Sting again and a sunset flip off the apron (remember, no mats) gets two more. Back up and they trade rams into the barricade until Jack is sent out into the crowd, with Sting diving onto him.

A suplex onto the concrete gets two as Ross is losing his mind at this stuff. They get in the ring for the first time and Jack takes out the shoulder, leaving Jesse stunned that they’ve been in the ring this long. We hit the bodyscissors and Jesse calls it amazing because “HE’S ACTUALLY WRESTLING!” Back up and the Cactus Clothesline sends them outside again, where Jack dents a chair over Sting’s back for a nasty visual.

As Jesse tries to figure out why in the world Sting agreed to do this, Sting belly to back suplexes Jack onto the exposed concrete for two. They do a pinfall reversal sequence on the concrete until Jack hot shots him onto the barricade. A piledriver on the floor doesn’t work as Jack’s knee gives out (with commentary being smart enough to explain why Sting is ok) and Jack’s middle rope elbow only hits concrete.

Sting fights up and slams him on the ramp, where he gets a chair of his own. A series of chair shots look to set up the Scorpion Deathlock but Jack turns it over and they crash off the ramp. The double arm DDT connects back on the ramp for a delayed two but Sting pops up and hits a running clothesline. A top rope clothesline is enough to give Sting the pin on the ramp at 11:24.

Rating: A-. This worked because it was a fight instead of a match and that’s what it needed to be. Jack was a different kind of opponent (one who didn’t care about being champion) and it made Sting go in another direction, on we hadn’t seen before. It was the most amazing thing I had ever seen in 1992 and it holds up today, with Jack looking insane and Sting going right along with him. This would have fit in perfectly in the Attitude Era, making it not only great but also ahead of its time, which is not something you often see.

Tony and Eric preview the Iron Man match. I have no idea why we need them when we already have Ross and Jesse.

Rick Rude vs. Ricky Steamboat

30 minute Iron Man match and Rude’s US Title is not on the line. Steamboat starts fast and hits a gutbuster, which has Rude in early trouble. A running shoulder to the ribs in the corner has Rude cringing, with Jesse sounding rather worried. Steamboat strikes away at the ribs, with Ross saying Steamboat is “sensing” that Rude is injured. Jesse: “WHAT DO YOU MEAN SENSING???”

We hit the bearhug, which always looks weird from someone Steamboat’s size. Steamboat takes him into the corner and Rude finally gets in a knee to the ribs for a needed breather. The injury won’t let Rude follow up though and Steamboat grabs something like a bow and arrow. That’s switched into a Boston crab and Rude is in trouble all over again.

The rope is almost reached so Steamboat lets go and drives some knees into the ribs as Jesse is not pleased with the extra viciousness here. Some kicks to the ribs have Rude in even more trouble and a gordbuster makes it even worse. Back up and Steamboat charges into a knee in the corner, with Rude grabbing a rollup with tights for the first fall at 7:42.

Rude – 1
Steamboat – 0

Rude gets smart and grabs the Rude Awakening for the second fall at 8:40 total.

Rude – 2
Steamboat – 0

Rude goes up top with a knee for a DQ at 9:50 total.

Rude – 2
Steamboat – 1

Then Rude rolls him up for the pin at 10:13 total.

Rude – 3
Steamboat – 1

We hit the reverse chinlock, which has Ventura rather pleased as it makes a good bit of sense at this point. Some knees to the back have Steamboat in more trouble and we’re right back to the reverse chinlock. This time Steamboat powers out with an electric chair drop but a splash hits raised knees. A swinging neckbreaker gives Rude two and, after absorbing some chops, he grabs a chinlock with fifteen minutes left. Another comeback is cut off by a knee to the ribs and Rude hits a nice piledriver for two. Rude tries a Tombstone but Steamboat reverses into one of his own to get things closer at 17:41 total.

Rude – 3
Steamboat – 2

Rude goes up again but gets superplexed down, which isn’t a DQ because….well because these rules are stupid and make things far more complicated than they need to be. A very delayed cover gives Steamboat two and it’s a double clothesline to leave them both down. They bridge into a backslide and Steamboat ties it up at 20:23 total.

Rude – 3
Steamboat – 3

Steamboat is fired up and tries some more rollups until Rude cuts him off with a needed jawbreaker. Back up and Rude sends him face first into the mat a few times before shouting about how Steamboat is NOT an iron man. Steamboat chops away but gets hit in the eyes. Ross: “Every time Rude gets in trouble, he goes to the eyes!” Ventura: “That’s because it works.” Rude makes sure to pose (Ventura approves as you might expect) and we hit a lot of choking on the ropes.

The Rude Awakening is blocked though and Steamboat hits his own version for two with Rude putting his foot on the rope. We have five minutes left as Steamboat gets two off a suplex. A belly to back suplex gets two more but Rude is back up with a sleeper as we have four minutes left. Rude climbs on his back and Steamboat stays up for a good long while, leaving Rude to kick away at the arms to block a rope grab (that’s smart).

Steamboat finally falls down with two minutes left but his arm stays up like a good hero’s should. The referee actually checks Steamboat’s eyes (that’s a new one) but the arm stays up again. Steamboat fights up and climbs the ropes to drop back on the bad ribs, giving him a quick pin at 29:26.

Steamboat – 4
Rude – 3

Rude is up with a clothesline for two, a shoulder for two, another clothesline for two, a small package for two and a slam for two, all in the last 34 seconds (geez), as time expires at 30:00.

Rating: A-. This was great and played into the Iron Man style perfectly well. There is almost nothing in wrestling that is as guaranteed to work as well as Steamboat making a comeback and that is what he was doing for most of this match. Rude was at his best here and felt like a killer, with that last burst having me wanting to see Steamboat hang on. Great stuff here and one of the better Iron Man matches I’ve seen.

It’s time for round two of the bikini contest, with Missy Hyatt wearing a bikini, despite the third round being the bikini round. Did no one think these rules through?

Dustin Rhodes/Barry Windham/Nikita Koloff vs. Dangerous Alliance

It’s Steve Austin/Arn Anderson/Bobby Eaton, with Paul E. Dangerously and Ole Anderson is special troubleshooting referee. Windham and Austin start things off with the former grabbing a hammerlock to take him down early on. Dustin comes in to stay on the arm before mixing it up with some dropkicks. An armbar sends Austin into the corner for the tag to Eaton as dang there is a lot of talent in here. Eaton knees him in the ribs and grabs a rollup for two before it’s off to Arn.

Koloff gets slapped in the face to bring him in and Arn quickly takes him down for a knee to the face. Back up and Koloff clotheslines Arn over the top, which leads to ANOTHER discussion about a rule involving the top rope. My goodness either make the rules clear or drop the stupid things. Arn gets back in but the Alliance is cleared out in a hurry, meaning it’s time for Dangerously to call for PLAN #2!

Back in and Windham atomic drops Arn but they ram heads for a double knockdown. It’s Arn up first and he charges into a boot in the corner, leading to another double down. Dustin comes back in to fire off some right hands, only for Arn to send him head first into Eaton (yes, Arn can be mean to his partners). Back up and Eaton is fine enough to wrap Dustin’s knee around the post before going after the arm. The villains get to take turns on Dustin, with Jesse yelling about Ole’s count being slow (as Jesse tended to do).

Eaton’s DDT on the arm sets up another hammerlock as this is not exactly thrilling stuff. It works so well that Arn comes back in to work on an armbar of his own. Dustin fights up and sends Arn head first into Eaton for a change (which is funny in a cruel way). Arn is right back up with a Stun Gun…but Dustin bounces over for the tag to Windham for the house cleaning. Everything breaks down and Windham hits the superplex on Austin but Arn makes the save…by coming off the top for the DQ at 15:31.

Rating: C+. You know, for a match with this kind of talent involved, you would expect that much more, but this only had some moments which were reaching the potential. The Alliance was not exactly in a good place at this point, but dang the people involved made it work to a certain extent. What did not work to an extent is the stupid top rope rule, which feels like WCW cutting things off before they get too fun, because we wouldn’t want that.

Post match the fight continues with the Alliance being cleaned out.

Ricky Steamboat is on the platform with Eric Bischoff and thanks the fans for standing by him in recent months. Tonight he showed that the Dangerous Alliance cannot dodge him anymore. Now he wants the US Title, but here is Paul E. Dangerously to say Steamboat has received his last title shot. Then Cactus Jack pulls Steamboat down and the fight is on, making me want to find their TV match because HOW COULD IT NOT BE GREAT?

Jesse Ventura joins Johnny B. Badd (now a sheriff) for the bikini round of the bikini contest, but stops to ask if Badd likes girls. Madusa goes first (not looking happy about it) and Missy….doesn’t go, because someone has stolen her bikini. Since she’s rather crafty, she steals Ventura’s scarf and turns it into a bikini.

Badd declares Missy the winner but Madusa slaps him into her own tent…and he comes out carrying her suit. Ventura goes into Madusa’s tent, then sticks his head out to declare Madusa the winner, hands down. Well that was creepy. Oh and we don’t get the OFFICIAL winner until tomorrow on Main Event, because WCW.

Tony Schiavone and Eric Bischoff hype up Cactus Jack vs. Ricky Steamboat and throw us to the main event.

Tag Team Titles: Steiner Brothers vs. Terry Gordy/Steve Williams

The Steiners are defending while Gordy and Williams are the new monsters from Japan. Gordy and Scott go to the mat to start and Gordy has to go to the rope immediately. Scott wrestles him down again and Gordy goes to the rope again as they’re taking their time to start. With the wrestling not working for Gordy, he switches to hitting Scott in the face, which goes as badly as you would expect.

Everything breaks down for a second but we settle back down before things get too exciting (just not the WCW way a lot of the time). Williams comes in and you just know Ross is right there with every college accolade he can throw in. Naturally they go with the amateur wrestling as we get the five minute all just under four minutes in. Williams misses a charge into the corner but blocks a suplex, leaving Scott to sunset lip him instead. Rick comes in and we actually get a rare Varsity Club reference.

They lock up in the corner as Ventura can’t believe the idea of Rick having a degree in education. Rick manages to get a suplex and Williams needs a breather on the floor. Back in and Williams runs him over with some football tackles, and yes Ross knows Williams’ football number from Oklahoma. A Steiner Line only gets Rick so far as it’s back to Gordy. Rick suplexes him as well but Williams comes back in and plows through Rick to send him outside. A sunset flip back in gives Rick two but Gordy is right back with a half crab as the slow pace continues.

They fight over the leglocks until Rick manages a suplex, allowing the tag back to Scott. Not to be outdone, Scott ties up Gordy’s leg and they roll around a bit. Williams comes back in but can’t send Scott head first into the buckle so they grapple against the ropes some more. Some double teaming slows Scott down and Williams kicks the knee out, which even Ventura admits was a bit rough.

Gordy and Williams take turns working on the leg, with Ventura almost sounding scared by the idea of Williams being nicknamed Dr. Death back in junior high. Scott starts fighting up but gets kicked in the knee, just in case the fans had something to care about. Gordy ties the legs up again before it’s back to Williams for some slaps to the face. The half crab keeps things slow and Williams hands it back to Gordy for a half crab of his own.

Williams comes back in for a full crab but this time Scott gets up and makes the tag to Rick. House is actually cleaned, with the middle rope bulldog dropping Williams. Gordy offers a distraction though and Williams hits a heck of a clothesline. The middle rope powerslam gets two on Rick as the fans get back into things. A shoulder gives Williams two more as we have less than five minutes.

Gordy’s suplex gets two as commentary tries to make this sound more interesting than what we’re seeing. Williams grabs a reverse chinlock, again stomping out that pesky excitement factor at all costs. The Doctor Bomb gives Williams two and the front facelock goes on again. The Oklahoma Stampede is broken up though and they’re both down. One heck of a Steiner Line drops Gordy and we have a minute left with both of them down again. Rick finally gets over to Scott to pick up the pace as everything breaks down. A butterfly powerbomb sets up the Frankensteiner but time expires at 30:00 (28:22 actually).

Rating: B-. I’ve seen this match a few times now and it still does not work. It feels like a match where they’re trying to keep things from being interesting and go with grappling and holds. That can be interesting in certain styles but this felt like they were going for dull for whatever reason. It doesn’t help that Gordy and Williams would win the titles a few weeks later, then win the NWA Tag Team Titles as well, because Bill Watts LOVED these guys. It’s certainly a style, but it’s not a style that was going to work in the 90s.

Eric and Tony wrap us up. I’m still not sure why they were here other than Eric’s job title.

Ross and Ventura wrap us up and the credits roll.

Overall Rating: B+. There is a great show in there, with the Iron Man match and Sting vs. Cactus Jack both being instant classics. Your mileage in the main event will vary pretty hard but it wasn’t the worst match. Throw in a good opener and some other decent enough matches and this was one of the best WCW shows in history. Just mix the show up so that the order makes some more sense and figure out that STUPID top rope stuff and it could be even better.

 

 

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