WWE Vault Grab Bag II
Commentators: Dean Hill, Kenny Bolin, Lenny Leonard, Bryce Remsburg, Chris Cruise, Mike Tenay, Jim Cornette

So this is one of my favorite things to do, as the WWE Vault releases a bunch of matches on a regular basis. In this case, there are enough that I can do a few collections, as I’m basically making my own playlists. There is no running theme for these matches and they’re just whatever I happen to pick. Let’s get to it.

From August 22, 2008, a dark match before Smackdown/ECW.

Takeshi Morishima vs. Jamie Noble

Tony Atlas is here to introduce Morishima, who is a power guy and former Ring Of Honor World Champion. Morishima runs him over to start and knocks Noble into the corner. Noble tries to fight back with a few shots to the head, including an enziguri to stagger Morishima. That just earns Noble a Boss Man Slam into a neck crank, followed by a big leg for two. Morishima picks him up at two and adds a big Saito suplex for the pin at 3:03 (with the announcer naming him “Orishimo”).

Rating: C. This wasn’t quite a squash for Morishima but it was close enough, as he looked dominant. You don’t get to see someone with his size and athleticism very often and it makes sense that WWE would be interested. Morishima looked good out there and it would be nice to see more of him in WWE, if nothing else due to him using the old Orient Express theme. Because of course.

From August 18, 2008, a dark match before Raw (I have no idea why they went out of order).

Takeshi Morishima vs. Charlie Haas

Haas yells at the fans to start and gets sent face first into the buckle for his efforts. The big leg connects but Haas manages to snap his arm over the top rope. That doesn’t seem to matter as it’s a Boss Man Slam to drop Haas, followed by a missile dropkick for the pin at 2:36.

From July 29, 1995, a dark match at a Superstars taping.

Bret Hart vs. Hakushi

In a cage. Hakushi jumps him to start fast and strikes away, only to get knocked back down. Hart goes for the climb out but gets pulled back down rather quickly. That lets Hakushi go up but Hart pulls him down and climbs as well. Hakushi cuts that off just as fast and strikes away on the top. They get back down and Hart whips him into the corner, followed by a bulldog.

It’s too early for Hart to get through the door though and Hakushi starts in on his leg. A ram into the cage lets Hakushi make a rather slow climb, which Hart cuts off with a DDT. Hart still can’t get out and Hakushi goes for the leg again, only to get pulled back inside as well. That lets Hart climb up a lot faster than before but Hakushi grabs him by the hair for a rather painful looking stop.

A backbreaker drops Hakushi but the middle rope elbow misses (you don’t see that very often). Hakushi’s top rope headbutt misses just as well so Hart turns him inside out with a clothesline. They take turns pulling the other down again and there’s a hard whip to send Hart chest first into the buckle. He’s right back up though and it’s a superplex off the cage for the big crash, leaving them both down. With Hakushi barely able to move, Hart manages to escape for the win at 12:31.

Rating: B-. For a dark match, this turned into something pretty good and the superplex was a nice surprise. They started slowly but eventually it picked up with more intensity and hard hitting. These two always had good chemistry together and it was on display again, which is cool for a less than readily available match.

From OVW TV, June 23, 2007.

CM Punk/Cody Runnels vs. Shawn Spears/Jay Bradley

Runnels (Rhodes of course) is distracted by Spears to start and gets hiptossed by Bradley. That’s broken up and Runnels goes after Spears again, only to kick Bradley in the face. A fall away slam sends Runnels flying into the corner for the tag to Punk, meaning trash can be talked. Punk strikes away to knock him into the corner and Spears realizes the tag means he’s in trouble.

Runnels gets the tag as well and Spears runs straight to the floor (apparently they kind of hate each other). Spears crawls back inside and hands it off to Bradley, who sends Punk into the corner. Now Spears is willing to come in and gets knocked down, allowing Runnels to come in and chase Spears to the floor. Punk cuts that off but Bradley comes in to jump Runnels from behind.

We take a break and come back with Bradley hammering on Runnels, which is enough for Spears to come in and stomp away. Runnels fights up so it’s immediately back to Bradley for a chinlock. Spears comes back in and goes after Punk, drawing him in so Runnels can be double teamed in a perfectly logical cheating sequence. The drop down shot to the face allows the tag off to Punk, who is in to clean house.

The running knees in the corner set up a bulldog/clothesline combination, followed by the springboard clothesline for two on Bradley. Cue Michael W. Kruel to pull the referee out, allowing Spears to get in a cheap shot on Punk. Runnels is back in with a strap to Spears’ back (before their strap match in a few days) so here are Spears’ goons to be dispatched. Runnels straps Spears to the back, leaving Punk to Anaconda Vice Bradley for the tap at 11:26 (earning Punk a shot at Bradley’s OVW Title in the process).

Rating: B-. Perfectly nice match here, with the all star team overcoming the odds to get some revenge and a title shot at the same time. That’s a case where simple storytelling works out well and I liked what we got here. Punk was red hot in OVW but he was already up on the main roster at this point, so he was pretty much just visiting here. The results worked out though as he and Rhodes always work well together.

From Evolve 17.

Sami Zayn gives us a quick introduction, as he got to pick the match. This just happens to involve someone he has been compared to a lot over the years.

El Generico vs. Samuray del Sol

Sol is better known as Kalisto. They fight over arm control to start and go to the mat, meaning it’s time to exchange flip ups. Generico grabs a headlock into a chinlock before working on the arm. A wristdrag takes Sol down but he flips out of a hurricanrana and Generico isn’t sure what to do. Generico’s running shoulder drops So and he springboards over Sol into some more armdrags.

Some chops in the corner seem to wake Sol up as he walks on his hands into a headscissors. A slingshot 450 gives Sol two and he bends Generico over his back for quite the painful visual. That’s broken up and Generico hits a clothesline but Sol is back with another headscissors. A rather springboardy wristdrag sends Generico outside and there’s the step up corkscrew dive to drop him again.

Back in and Generico exploders him into the corner, where the Helluva Kick is cut off. What would become known as the Salida del Sol gives Sol two but Generico is back with the Blue Thunder Bomb for two more. Generico’s Michinoku Driver gets two more so Sol steps onto his back for a Code Red. The Rising Sun (poisonrana) gives Sol two but a super version is countered with a facebuster onto the turnbuckle. The Helluva Kick into the turnbuckle brainbuster gives Generico the pin at 14:08.

Rating: B+. I can see why Zayn picked this, as Generico and Sol were both working rather hard out there and put on a heck of a match. That’s the point of something like this as it was not only the show’s main event but also a rubber match. It made things feel that much bigger and they lived up to the hype. Pretty awesome match here and a sign of what they would be able to do on the big stage.

From AAA When Worlds Collide.

Fuerza Guerrera/Madonna’s Boyfriend/Psicosis vs. Rey Mysterio/Heavy Metal/Latin Lover

Mysterio is only 19 here and this is described as his Breakout Match. Guerrera and company (the rudos here) clear the ring to start before we can even get the introductions. Guerrera and Metal start things off with an exchange of armdrags before Psicosis comes in to clothesline Mysterio. The top rope hurricanrana sends Psicosis bailing up the aisle and it’s Boyfriend (Louie Spicolli, who towers over Mysterio) comes in and picks Mysterio up.

That doesn’t last long and it’s off to Lover for an exchange of running shoulders. A superkick drops Boyfriend and it’s back to Psicosis for a clothesline to Metal. They grab stereo faceplants for a double down and Mysterio comes in, only to get hit in the face by Guerrera. Mysterio sends Guerrera outside for a dive, leaving Lover to send Psicosis into the corner.

Back in and Guerrera hits Lover low, only for Metal to come in with a low blow of his own. That doesn’t work for Boyfriend, who gorilla presses Mysterio over the barricade for a crash into the crowd. The villains get to double team Lover but Mysterio comes back in to give Psicosis a faceplant. Guerrera gets powerbombed out of the corner but Lover misses a top rope splash. Everything breaks down and we get a parade of dropkicks to the floor but Metal misses a Swanton to Guerrera. A seated armbar makes Metal tap at 13:40.

Rating: B. It’s much more in the lucha libre style, which wasn’t a thing in America at this point. That was the entire point of this show and it absolutely worked, as they were displaying something that had fans rather impressed. I can definitely see why Mysterio’s performance was so well received, as he looked like a star in the making, which is absolutely what he would be in just a few more years.

From May 13, 2003, a dark match before Smackdown/Velocity.

CM Punk introduces this one, talking about how he had wrestled a dark match the previous night and been unofficially banned from WWE for being unsafe. He showed up anyway and was asked if he wanted to face the Road Warriors. Apparently that was quite the affirmative.

CM Punk/Doug Delicious vs. Legion Of Doom

We’re joined in progress with Hawk throwing Delicious around and handing it off to Punk, who jumps Animal for some reason. This goes as well as expected, with Animal hitting a hard clothesline and a powerslam. Hawk misses a running charge into the post though, allowing Punk to get two off a snap suplex. We’re clipped (in a dark match) to Hawk hitting a double clothesline as everything breaks down. The Doomsday Device finishes Delicious at 2:44 shown (possibly out of 4:14 total). Actually not a squash and LOD looked decent enough.

From OVW TV, January 19, 2002.

Prototype vs. Randy Orton

As you probably know, the Prototype (with Kenny Bolin) is an early (and evil) John Cena. Orton sends him into the corner to start and gets two off a crossbody. A powerslam gives Orton two more as Cornette gives the hard sell for the Last Dance later this month. Prototype sends him hard into the corner for two and a sidewalk slam gets two more.

A pair of snap suplexes give Prototype two but Orton catches him on top. The ensuing superplex gives Orton two so Bolin gets on the apron. Some powder only hits the referee though so here is Rico Constantino to jump Orton as well. Bobby Eaton of all people comes in to go after Constantino and then jumps Prototype for the DQ at 6:32.

Rating: C. The match was pretty much just there, but it’s more of an historical curiosity than anything else. Cena and Orton have one of the most legendary rivalries in WWE history and seeing them both at such a young age is rather odd to see. They would get a lot better, but this was hardly a bad match, especially for developmental television.

From Dragon Gate USA Open The Ultimate Gate 2013 (the Wrestlemania XXIX weekend show).

Johnny Gargano introduces this one and it’s a bit different.

Open The Freedom Gate Title: Johnny Gargano vs. Shingo

Gargano is defending. They stare each other down to start as the fans want Shingo (better known as Shingo Takagi) to do bad things to Gargano. A battle of arm control takes them to the mat with Shingo working on the leg to limited avail. Gargano goes to the arm so Shingo gets to the ropes, allowing him to start another arm control battle. Gargano’s chops don’t work but Shingo’s certainly does, allowing Shingo to grab a headlock. A suplex puts Gargano down and it’s a backsplash for two, setting up a neck crank.

Back up and they slug it out, with Gargano not being able to get the Gargano Escape. Shingo sends him into the corner but gets caught with a quick hurricanrana. Gargano grabs a double arm crank and leans back onto the arm for a rather painful visual. A neckbreaker gives Gargano two and he actually wins a strike exchange by elbowing Shingo down in the corner. It’s back to working on the arm to keep Shingo in trouble, with a cradle even getting two.

The Gargano Escape is broken up with pure power and a clothesline sends Gargano outside. Shingo strikes away against the barricade and boots Gargano into the crowd, which is never a good idea. A superkick gets Gargano out of trouble and he runs back inside for quite the suicide dive. It works so well that Gargano does it again, only to charge into a Death Valley Driver on the floor (which probably won’t have the effect that it should).

Naturally Gargano beats the count back in, where a neckbreaker and sliding lariat give Shingo two. A slingshot DDT plants Shingo for two more and the fans are a lot more split. One heck of a clothesline puts Gargano down again and another pop up Death Valley Driver gives us a double breather. More clotheslines don’t even put Gargano down so he pulls on the Gargano Escape.

That’s broken up again and they go up top, where Shingo’s superbomb is countered into a super hurricanrana for two. The lawn dart gives Gargano another near fall and he can’t believe the kickout. They slug it out from their knees and then their feet until Shingo hits a Saito suplex and a hard clothesline for another double down. Shingo is up first with a super Death Valley Driver for two but Made In Japan is countered into the Hurts Donut (spinning full nelson faceplant).

The Gargano Escape sends Shingo over to the rope as we get a PLEASE DON’T STOP chant. Shouldn’t it be PLEASE DON’T GET PINNED OR SUBMIT TO CAUSE THE MATCH TO END? Made In Japan gives Shingo two more and the hue running clothesline gets an even nearer fall. Another Death Valley Driver gets another two and the referee gets bumped. That means it’s a low blow to drop Shingo and Gargano whips out a rope to choke him into the Gargano Escape to retain at 33:27.

Rating: B+. It’s an excellent back and forth match, but dang I was having some trouble buying that Gargano was surviving all of this. That’s been an issue of his for longer than I can remember and it was certainly true again here. Shingo definitely had the skill to back up his reputation and he felt like a big get for a show of this magnitude.

From February 7, 1993 at a WCW house show. This isn’t a complete match but it’s certainly some awesome sounding footage.

Dustin Rhodes/Ricky Steamboat/Shane Douglas vs. Steve Austin/Brian Pillman/Barry Windham

This is an elimination match and we’re joined in progress with Austin working on Steamboat. A suplex gives Austin one and he drops Steamboat with a clothesline to cut off a comeback attempt. Austin hits a side slam as I don’t see any partners anywhere around. Some slams stay on the back and Austin grabs a bearhug, which isn’t something you see him do very often.

With that broken up, Austin makes the mistake of spitting on Steamboat, which triggers the comeback you’re probably expecting. A top rope superplex sends Austin crashing down hard for a rather delayed two but he reverses a Tombstone into one of his own for two more. Austin goes up (this can’t end well) and Steamboat rolls through a high crossbody for the pin at 4:37 shown. Not enough shown to rate as the whole match is about 25 minutes, but these two always worked well together.

Post match Pillman runs in for the beatdown, with Windham making the save. The big brawl goes outside, with Douglas coming back in to drop Pillman onto the barricade. More wrestlers (including 2 Cold Scorpio in a Ribera shirt) can’t break it up either and the brawl continues. Johnny B. Badd and I think William (Lord Steven at the time) Regal are in there but can’t get very far either. Things finally settle down but Pillman chop blocks Douglas in the aisle and the pain is real to end things. Good match, very hot post match brawl.

From December 15, 1996, a dark match after In Your House: It’s Time.

Shawn Michaels vs. Mankind

We’re a few months after their famous match at Mind Games and Paul Bearer is here with Mankind. Michaels jumps Mankind to start on the floor and then takes him inside to hammer away. The discus lariat puts Michaels down and some right hands drop him in the corner. Michaels is sent into the steps and choked on the ropes as Mankind gets in the creepy “COME ON SEXY BOY!”.

The Mandible Claw is blocked and Michaels manages a belly to back suplex. The flying forearm lets Michaels nip up…and go right into the Mandible Claw. Well that didn’t work. They crash out to the floor, where a nasty ram into the steps is enough to get Michaels free. Mankind’s hand is sent into the steps and the top rope elbow connects inside. Bearer’s distraction lets Mankind get the urn but Michaels superkicks him down for the win at 6:56.

Rating: C+. It’s a dark match so you’re only going to get so much out of it, but it could have been far worse. These two could have a good match in their sleep and while this wasn’t quite that, it was hardly some great match that tore the house down. It doesn’t help that they had such a classic the previous time so the expectations were probably high, even though it wound up being the Cliffnotes version.

From May 5, 1993, a dark match at a Wrestling Challenge taping.

Harlem Knights vs. Tony DeVito/Mike Bell

The Knights are better known as Men On A Mission and this is their tryout match. They’re already doing the wave as Bobby (Mo) backs DeVito into the corner to start. That means more waving and an armdrag before it’s off to Nelson (Mabel), who trades hammerlocks with DeVito. Thankfully Nelson finally wakes up and realizes HE’S A GIANT AND SHOULDN’T BE DOING HAMMERLOCKS and grabs a chokebomb.

Bobby comes back in for a double elbow and we’re clipped ahead about six seconds (I’m guessing something a fan said/did) to Bell kicking Nelson low to escape another hammerlock. Nelson no sells some forearms and hits a World’s Strongest Slam, setting up the double splash for the pin at 4:49.

Rating: D. How in the world did this get them hired? Bobby barely did anything other than the waving deal and Nelson was trading hammerlocks with and selling punches from someone half his size. I could see how the team could be fun, but they completely missed the point…and then got signed anyway. Of course they did.

Overall Rating: B-. This is exactly the kind of thing I love doing with the WWE Vault, as you never know what kind of awesome stuff you might find. I just picked a bunch of matches here and watched them mostly straight through in a kind of do it yourself playlist. It’s by no means a regular playlist or anything close, but there is some stuff in there that is worth a look. I’ll definitely be doing this again, as just seeing what they had next was more than worth the time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Survivor Series 2002
Date: November 17, 2002
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 17,930
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

This is a show with one heck of a main event as the Elimination Chamber makes its debut. The idea is that Raw wants to one up Smackdown’s Cell match the previous month and a major tradition was born. On the Smackdown side, Brock Lesnar is defending the World Title against the Big Show. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at the two World Title matches, with Eric Bischoff introducing the Elimination Chamber.

Bubba Ray Dudley/Spike Dudley/Spike Dudley vs. 3 Minute Warning/Rico

This is an elimination tables match, with JR bringing up TLC matches taking place in this building. That has never happened, but odds are he’s thinking of the tables match between the Hardys and the Dudleys at Royal Rumble 2000. The villains are sent outside to start so Bubba throws Spike onto them. Spike gets pulled out of the air, naturally setting up a dive from Jeff to take everyone down.

Back in and Rico hammers on Bubba in the corner, which doesn’t last long as Bubba chops him away. Spike is back in with a What’s Up to Jamal and Jeff hits a top rope legdrop version. The tables are brought in, allowing Rosey to run Bubba over with a clothesline. One heck of a backdrop sends Jeff to the floor but Rosey’s charge into the corner only hits table. That’s not an elimination because it didn’t come from the other team’s offense so Rosey is right back up with a splash to Jeff.

Spike gets sent hard through a table (you can tell it was bad as Lawler wants to see it again) so 3 Minute Warning goes up, only to have both of them get crotched. Poetry In Motion is cut off so Rosey and Hardy fight into the crowd. Back in and Rico kicks away at Bubba, who pulls Rico into the way of Jamal’s charge. Ray goes up to save Hardy, setting up a heck of a Swanton off the balcony through a table to get rid of Rosey.

Back in and Jamal puts Bubba onto a table but Hardy takes FOREVER to make the save (giving us an infamous moment of Rico screaming for Jeff to get over here already). Hardy cleans house but slips while trying to run the barricade, leaving Jamal to shove a table at Jeff’s head instead for a nasty crash.

A giant top rope splash puts Jeff through the table, leaving us with Bubba vs. Jamal/Rico. Back in and Jamal takes too long loading up a hurricanrana, allowing Ray to powerbomb him through a table. Jamal and Rosey are back up to go after Bubba but D-Von Dudley runs in for the big save and one heck of a reaction. The 3D puts Rico through the table for the win at 14:22.

Rating: B-. And that’s how they brought the Dudleys back together to end the split up runs, which really weren’t working that well. The two of them just work better together and it was the right move to make. It’s also a good way to give the match a happy ending, though it was a good, hard hitting fight until then. I’m not wild on the match being that long, but it gave us a nice ending so it works out well enough.

Stacy Keibler is at the World and introduces Saliva to play Always to look at the rest of the card.

Cruiserweight Title: Billy Kidman vs. Jamie Noble

Kidman is challenging and debuts his awesome theme music (the one with “you can run if you want to”), which should counter Nidia in Noble’s corner. An early running hurricanrana takes Noble down to start but he’s back in with a shot to take over. Kidman fights up and hits a quick backbreaker for a breather, followed by a running elbow. The fireman’s carry backbreaker gets two but Noble is right back with a Falcon Arrow for two of his own.

Back up and Kidman takes him down to load up the shooting star press, with Nidia breaking it up. The big dive drops Noble again and the slingshot legdrop gets two back inside. Noble slips out of a powerbomb (make your own jokes) and hits a tiger bomb for a rather near fall. They both go up top so Kidman can hit a heck of a top rope DDT for two, only for Noble to put him on top for a hanging DDT and his own near fall. Kidman shrugs that off, knocks Noble down, shrugs off Nidia’s distraction, and hits the shooting star press for the pin at 7:31.

Rating: B. Maybe it was due to the title feeling unimportant, but dang they were working out there and it wound up being a heck of a back and forth match. That’s what you should have done for something like this and I was digging what we got. Really hard hitting match here and Kidman gets a definitive win after surviving everything Noble threw at him.

Kurt Angle thinks he and Chris Benoit can win the Tag Team Titles. Benoit wants to fight but Angle talks about their partnership to calm him down. A handshake is offered, but Angle would rather hug. Goofy Angle continues to be hysterical.

Victoria beats up her mirror for thinking Trish Stratus is prettier.

We recap Victoria challenging Trish Stratus for the Women’s Title. They had worked together as fitness models until WWE wanted them both. Victoria implied that Stratus held her back so now Victoria is here to make up for lost time. And revenge. And the title.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Victoria

Victoria is challenging in a hardcore match and jumps Stratus from behind before she can even take the belt off. Some choking with Stratus’ jacket has her in more trouble and Victoria grabs a broom. That takes too long though and Stratus monkey flips her over, only for Victoria to choke with the broom instead. Stratus throws her off the top with the boom though and grabs a trashcan lid, which is knocked back into her face with the same broom (that’s not a winner for Stratus so far).

The slingshot flipping legdrop gives Victoria two but it takes too long to set up a trashcan in the corner. Stratus uses said delay to catapult her face first into the trashcan and then grab an ironing board. Victoria is whipped through the board and Stratus uses a trashcan lid to smash Stratus in the face. A powerbomb gives Victoria two and she grabs a big mirror. That takes too long so Victoria sprays her with a fire extinguisher and grabs a suplex of all things for the pin and the title at 7:02.

Rating: B-. They beat the fire out of each other here and it felt like they were trying to win a fight. The ending wasn’t exactly great, but the weapon shots were the focal point here rather than the suplex. This was a solid way to make Victoria feel like a big deal right out of the gate and that is what they were trying to do.

Eric Bischoff brags about one upping Smackdown with the Elimination Chamber when Big Show comes in. Show promises to make Bischoff regret letting him go to Smackdown. By taking out Smackdown’s top star? That’s quite the weird way to g.

Lesnar is ready, with Paul Heyman being worried about what is going to happen.

We recap Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar. Show has debuted on Smackdown and injured Lesnar, with Paul Heyman not being sure if Lesnar is strong enough to deal with someone Show’s size. Lesnar wants to fight and is definitely leaning towards the good side for the first time.

Smackdown World Title; Brock Lesnar vs. Big Show

Lesnar, with Paul Heyman, is defending. They shove each other around to start as the fans are pretty firmly behind Lesnar. Show, who has a banged up arm, gets smart by going after the ribs and sending Lesnar flying out of the corner. Lesnar is right back with a spear and sends Show outside to hammer away.

Back in and Lesnar manages a belly to back suplex before busting out the expected German suplex. The referee gets bumped and Lesnar muscles Show up for a belly to belly. Heyman throws in a chair, which Lesnar smashes onto Show’s head. The F5 connects and another referee runs out…but Heyman breaks up the count. Lesnar realizes what happened and chases Heyman, right into a chair to the ribs from Show. A chokeslam onto the chair is enough to pin Lesnar for the first time at 4:18.

Rating: C. I’ve never been much of a fan of his, but time and the longer term storytelling with it (as Show would be little more than a transitional champion to Kurt Angle) have softened me on it a bit. They got in and out with a quick match as Lesnar gets screwed out of the title in a variety of ways. Show has been a monster like few others around this point so having him steal the title makes sense. It’s not good, but it’s also not as bad as I remember.

Post match Show and Heyman run off with the title and leave in a waiting car.

We recap the Smackdown Tag Team Title match. Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle wn the inaugural titles but keep arguing, with Edge and Rey Mysterio winning the titles in a classic. Los Guerreros are involved too and so it’s Smackdown Six time for the titles.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit vs. Edge/Rey Mysterio vs. Los Guerreros

Edge and Mysterio are defending under elimination rules. They glare at each other to start until Benoit and Mysterio get things going. One heck of a chop rocks Mysterio and then a second one does it again. Mysterio manages a flapjack of all things and drops a leg on Benoit’s neck, allowing the tag off to Edge to keep the pace up. Angle comes in and gets punched in the face so he forcibly brings Chavo in instead.

Mysterio is right back in with the springboard splash for two but Chavo drops him on his face. Eddie comes in to stomp away, only to get dropped with an anklescissors. Another one sends Angle into the corner, where Benoit swings at Mysterio because he’s smart enough to do a little thing like that. Mysterio goes up but slips off the top, allowing Angle to stomp away. Benoit comes in with a neckbreaker and drops him with a belly to back for two.

We settle down a bit with Angle and Benoit taking turns beating on Mysterio, with Angle grabbing a front facelock. That goes on for a good while, until Mysterio slips out of a suplex and scores with a nice spinwheel kick to the face. Los Guerreros bail from Angle’s tag attempt so it’s Benoit vs. Edge instead, with the latter taking out everyone. Edge gets caught in the ankle lock and Crossface at the same time but Mysterio makes the save with a seated senton.

Eddie comes back in but gets suplexed to the floor, followed by Edge getting suplexed to the mat with the rolling German suplexes. The frog splash hits Edge but the Swan Dive hits Eddie, setting up the double submissions. Angle isn’t legal though so the referee breaks it up, allowing Chavo to hit Benoit with the belt. Chavo throws said belt to Angle, which Benoit sees, meaning the argument is on. Mysterio takes out Chavo and Edge spears Benoit for the elimination at 13:10.

Angle and Benoit beat up Edge and Mysterio before leaving, only to argue in the aisle because that’s what they do. Eddie snaps off a suplex to Edge and a baseball slide gives Chavo two. The sleeper goes on but Edge is right out, only to get dropkicked by Chavo. Eddie hits another suplex and the front facelock goes on again. That’s broken up and Edge hits a double flapjack, which is enough to bring Mysterio in to clean house. Everything breaks down and Mysterio hits the 619, only to have Chavo hit him with a belt. Edge is taken out and the Lasso From El Paso gives Los Guerreros the titles at 19:24.

Rating: A-. Yeah of course this was great and I don’t know what else should have been expected. These people know how to work well together and they were allowed to do their thing for about twenty minutes here. WWE knew what they had with these guys and just let them go, which is why this era is so fondly remembered. Awesome stuff here, as was the case every time they were out there together.

Here is Christopher Nowinski to say that intelligence is different than street smarts. You either have intelligence or you don’t and the people here clearly don’t. Cue Matt Hardy, who keeps the room temperature at a toasty 75 degrees and only drinks lowfat chocolate milk, to say that he is happy to see this building overflowing with Mattitude.

These stupid people are sucking the Mattitude out of the arena though and he is choking worse than the Knicks (JR: “I don’t know about that.”). This just keeps going for far too long until Scott Steiner debuts and takes them both out. Steiner gets in the catchphrase to wrap it up. WAY too long, as I’m wondering if Steiner’s cue was late or something, as you could tell Hardy and Nowinski were out of things to say.

The Chamber is lowered.

Shawn Michaels talks about his chances in the Chamber but we get an RNN BREAKING NEWS. He came all the way to Survivor Series, but don’t worry, because a flight attendant gave him an extra pillow and his shoulder was protected. He’ll be back in no time.

We recap the Elimination Chamber, with HHH having issues with everyone involved and all of them wanting the title. Eric Bischoff introduced the idea to one up Smackdown using the Cell and everyone always wants to go after HHH. This gets the music video treatment with Always by Saliva.

HHH is ready for the Chamber because he’s the best. He has a first class ticket to H*** and he wants t know who’s coming with him.

Here is Eric Bischoff to walk through the Chamber and explain the whole thing concept. The fact that his rather long speech is summed up by a graphic running down the rules, and JR explaining it in far less time, makes this feel unnecessary.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Booker T. vs. Rob Van Dam vs .Kane vs. Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels

HHH, with Ric Flair, is defending and it’s HHH in at #1 and Van Dam in at #2 (And Jericho gets played to the ring by Saliva…who is in concert at the World, which is certainly unique. Maybe not good, but unique.). HHH drives him into the corner to start but Van Dam, who is rather popular, kicks him in the face and then again in the chest. The facebuster connects for HHH as commentary goes over the rules (and does a much better job than Bischoff).

They go outside for some whips to send HHH into the wall over and over, with the door popping open. A monkey flip sends the already bleeding HHH onto the Chamber floor and there’s Rolling Thunder from inside to outside. Van Dam goes up onto a pod but Jericho pulls him down, though Van Dam is able to crotch HHH on top anyway. More kicks have HHH down and it’s Jericho in at #3.

That’s fine with Van Dam, who jumps from the top to the Chamber wall, where he holds on and then dives onto Jericho with a crossbody. HHH is back up and hits the jumping knee to Van Dam before the villains take him outside again. Some hard whips send Van Dam into the wall before a DDT cuts off the comeback. Booker T. comes at #4 and cleans house, including the Spinarooni.

Van Dam slugs it out with Booker T. with the step over kick to the face giving Van Dam two. The side kick gives Booker the same but HHH is back up. Van Dam kicks him down and goes up to the top of a pod for the Five Star, with his knee landing on HHH’s throat (that was a nasty injury). Instead of covering, Booker hits a missile dropkick to get rid of Van Dam at 13:40. Booker covers HHH for two but Jericho is back up with the bulldog. An Alabama Slam gives Booker one and it’s Kane in at #5 to change things up a bit.

House is quickly cleaned again, including Jericho being sent into various things, such as through the Plexiglas. Jericho is busted open as well but he’s fine enough to hit Booker low, allowing Kane to hit a chokeslam. The Lionsault gets rid of Booker at 17:45 and we’re down to four. Jericho and HHH start double teaming Kane a bit, only for Kane to break that up without much effort. HHH gets slammed off the top but Jericho is back with the middle rope dropkick to leave everyone down.

Shawn is in at #6 to complete the field (with the entrance times being pretty close) and is quickly dropped by Kane. The running forearm cuts Kane down but he’s right back up so chokeslams can abound. Shawn is able to hit a superkick but Kane sits up, so it’s a Pedigree into a Lionsault to get rid of Kane at 22:35.

Jericho sends Shawn over the top and into the steel again and the double teaming is on. This time it’s HHH throwing Shawn over so he can rake Shawn’s face into the wall. Shawn, also bleeding, tries to fight back but gets backdropped onto the floor for a nasty crash. Back in and Shawn hits the forearm on HHH but Jericho hits the bulldog into the Lionsault…for two. And now we’re into the stretching portion, as Shawn can suddenly survive things that have beaten Booker and Kane. Shawn gets the Walls on Jericho until HHH breaks it up with a DDT.

Jericho going for the pin doesn’t please HHH so the villains get into it, with HHH hitting a hard clothesline. The facebuster gives HHH two but the Pedigree is countered into the Walls. Shawn breaks it up with the superkick and pins Jericho at 30:41, leaving us one on one. They slowly slug it out until HHH’s spinebuster gets two and they’re both slow to get up.

A backdrop sends Shawn onto the steel floor, where his own Pedigree attempt is countered into a catapult through more Plexiglas. Since it’s Shawn, he fights back again and sends HHH int the steel again, followed by a clothesline back into the ring. For some reason Shawn goes all the way to the top of the pod to drop the elbow. Instead of covering, Shawn tunes up the band but it gets reversed into the Pedigree for a rather delayed two. Another Pedigree is loaded up and Shawn hits the superkick to win the title at 39:40.

Rating: B. I’ve seen this match a bunch of times now and I’m still not sure what I think of the thing. It tells a good story, the action is there, it might be a bit longer than it needs to be, but what we get is quite good. On paper, I should like it rather well, but as usual, there is one thing that bugs me about the whole thing, and that is Shawn himself.

As many times as I’ve seen this, it always feels a bit ridiculous that Shawn could survive all of these things. He’s getting up from multiple finishers and one heck of a beating. I know the fans went nuts on the ending and all that and it does feel like a special moment, but dang it never comes off as right. Maybe this works better as a one fall match, but I can never get my head around him beating five of the best on Raw at the time.

Confetti falls for the big celebration to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. I hadn’t realized how good of a show this really is, as you have one awesome match, a good main event and enough other strong stuff throughout to make it work very well. Lesnar vs. Show is only ok, but it barely breaks four minutes and was certainly memorable. My issues with the main event aside, this is definitely worth a look and it’s a heck of a show overall.

Ratings Comparison

Dudley Boyz/Jeff Hardy vs. Rico/3 Minute Warning

Original: B
2012 Redo: B-
2017 Redo: C+
2024 Redo: B-

Billy Kidman vs. Jamie Noble

Original: C+
2012 Redo: B-
2017 Redo: C+
2024 Redo: B

Victoria vs. Trish Stratus

Original: C-
2012 Redo: B
2017 Redo: B-
2024 Redo: B-

Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: D-
2012 Redo: D+
2017 Redo: C-
2024 Redo: C

Los Guerreros vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit vs. Edge/Rey Mysterio

Original: B
2012 Redo: B+
2017 Redo: B
2024 Redo: A-

Shawn Michaels vs. HHH vs. Booker T vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Kane vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B
2012 Redo: D+
2017 Redo: B
2024 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B-
2012 Redo: C+
2017 Redo: C+
2024 Redo: B+

That one main event rating is bizarre enough but the overall ratings over the years are ridiculous. The show is a near classic rather than the good at best I gave it before.

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Brock Lesnar: Before He Was A Superstar
Commentators: Dean Hill, Les Thatcher

So Lesnar is back after a long hiatus from WWE and that means he is in the company’s good graces again. Therefore, WWE is looking back at his career and apparently that includes his time before making it on the big stage. That’s what we’re going to be looking at here, which could have some interesting selections. Let’s get to it.

Dark match from before Raw, June 4, 2001.

Minnesota Stretching Crew vs. Scotty Zappa/Magnus Maximus

The Crew would be Lesnar and Shelton Benjamin, and since we’re in Minneapolis, JESSE VENTURA is managing them. Well dang there’s something I never thought I’d see. The fans are way into Ventura as Benjamin takes Zappa down and works on the arm. Lesnar comes in to stay on the arm and it’s off to Maximus, whose arm is cranked as well.

Lesnar and Maximus have a big man staredown, with Maximus hitting some left hands, only for Lesnar to turn him inside out with a clothesline. Fans: “LET’S GO GOPHERS!” (Lesnar and Benjamin both went to the University of Minnesota, whose mascot is the Golden Gopher). Maximus finally gets something going with a reverse Twist Of Fate for two on Benjamin, followed by a legdrop for the same.

Maximus’ charge in the corner misses but Zappa is right there with a clothesline from the apron. Benjamin fights up and brings in Lesnar as everything breaks down. Maximus is sent outside and it’s a backbreaker to set up Benjamin’s 450 for the….near fall as Maximus makes the save. Zappa and Maximus collide, with Benjamin superkicking the latter down. Lesnar hits an INSANE shooting star press (Maximus was over halfway across the ring) for the pin at 7:46.

Rating: C+. The match itself was pretty dry but WOW that shooting star was insane. Simply put, a big powerhouse like Lesnar should not be able to do that and he made it look easy. It’s a level of athletic ability you do not get to see from almost anyone else and that was incredible. Benjamin looked good as well, but there was no topping that finish. Of note: Maximus would go on to some success of his own as Bam Neely.

Dark match from before Raw, January 28, 2002.

Brock Lesnar vs. Mr. Perfect

Rare blue trunks for Lesnar here. Lesnar powers him into the corner and poses, followed by a shove over the ropes for more posing, including a chest pop. Back in and Perfect threatens to slap the s*** out of him before Lesnar muscles him up for a backdrop. Lesnar’s posing has Perfect jumping over the top for another breather on the floor as this isn’t working so far.

The shoulders in the corner have Perfect in trouble and he loses a chop battle to make it worse. Lesnar charges into a raised boot though and Perfect finally hits a clothesline for a needed breather. Perfect throws him hard into the corner and grabs the PerfectPlex for the pin at 3:50.

Rating: C. This was bordering on a squash for Lesnar until the finish and that shouldn’t be a big surprise. These two were incredibly close behind the scenes and Perfect was absolutely going to go out of his way to make Lesnar feel like a star. Perfect’s bumping was of course great and it was a fun match, even if Lesnar got beaten down rather quickly.

From OVW’s The Last Dance.

OVW Tag Team Titles: Brock Lesnar/Brian Keck vs. Dean Malenko/Perry Saturn

Lesnar and Keck (the latter of whom is substituting for Shelton Benjamin, who is at ringside with his arm in a cast/brace) are defending and get jumped from behind to start fast. It’s a brawl to start and Saturn/Malenko are quickly sent outside. They tease running back in but drop to the floor for another breather. Back in and Malenko and Saturn get headbutted down, only to pull Keck into the wrong corner.

Malenko’s front facelock has Keck in trouble and it’s off to Saturn, who gets sunset flipped for two. Saturn stomps away near the ropes but Keck suplexes his way to freedom. That’s enough for the tag off to Lesnar and house s quickly cleaned, including a Samoan driver for two on Saturn with Malenko pulling the referee. The Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza gets two on Lesnar with Keck making a save, allowing Lesnar to grab a northern lights suplex to retain at 9:02.

Rating: C. This was pretty clearly designed to be a way for the Minnesota Stretching Crew to show what they could do against a pair of veterans but it wound up being a Lesnar showcase instead. That’s not a bad thing, but Keck being in there instead of Benjamin is quite the letdown. Malenko and Saturn did their thing and looked fine, though they weren’t the story here.

From OVW TV, July 28, 2001.

Brock Lesnar vs. Leviathan

Leviathan, with Synn and (I think) Connie, is the Guardian Of The Gates Of Hell and would later be known as Batista. Leviathan powers Lesnar around to start but gets hiptossed down. Back up and a spinebuster plants Lesnar, who is right back with a middle rope crossbody. Lesnar gets sent into the corner though for some choking from Leviathan, who hits a belly to back slam for two.

The chinlock with a knee in the back has Lesnar in more trouble and a DDT sets up…well the same chinlock actually. Commentary talks about “ring psychology”, which comes after a discussion of people from “New York” scouting OVW talent. Lesnar fights up and hits an overhead belly to belly. The Samoan driver puts Leviathan down but Connie (apparently Connie Swail for a Dragnet reference of all things) offers a distraction, allowing Synn to spray something in Lesnar’s eyes. The spear give Leviathan the pin at 6:22.

Rating: C. This was basically a “hey did you know these guys had a match?” and that’s a perfectly fine way to go. That’s the kind of thing you want in a collection like this, as Lesnar vs. Batista would have easily headlined a pay per view had Lesnar stuck around. For now though, not much of a match, but neither of them was much to see at this point and there was a lot going on.

Dark match before Raw, January 7, 2002.

Brock Lesnar vs. Rico Constantino

Yes that Rico, but when he was playing it completely normal and felt like he was miles ahead of just about everyone in OVW. Rico starts fast with the kicks (those always looked good) but Lesnar (in white boots for a WEIRD look) takes him down with the straight power. Lesnar drops him again and hits a backbreaker, followed by a chinlock, which feels so off coming from him. Rico fights up for a superkick and a shoulder, but the high crossbody is pulled out of the air. A running powerslam gives Lesnar (pronounced “Less-nar” by the Fink) the pin at 5:30.

Rating: C+. It’s still bizarre to see Rico as a run of the mill wrestler who could do this kind of stuff. As good as he was though, his age was going to be too big of a deal to overcome and it’s part of why Lesnar was pushed this way. Rico made Lesnar look good out there though and that’s not the biggest surprise.

Dark match before Raw, March 11, 2002.

Brock Lesnar vs. Spike Dudley

Much more standard look for “Less-nar” (Fink did it again) save for a goatee which thankfully didn’t last. Lesnar starts fast with a gorilla press and some backbreakers as this kind of match is tailor made for him. A hard whip into the corner has Spike in more trouble and one heck of a powerbomb sends him crawling to the floor. For some reason Spike gets back inside and manages to knock Lesnar off the top. A top rope double stomp connects but Spike charges into the F5 for the pin at 5:04.

Rating: C. Yeah you knew what you were going to get here and it’s why Spike had a job as long as he did. It’s so easy to cheer for a smaller guy like him and having a force like Lesnar on the other side of the ring made it that much better. Not a particularly good match, but Lesnar was becoming more or less TV ready at this point.

Dark match before Raw, February 4, 2002.

Brock Lesnar/Ron Waterman vs. Randy Orton/Rico Constantino

Waterman is a former UFC guy who never went anywhere. He drives Rico into the corner to start but Orton comes in for a double elbow. It’s off to Lesnar, who gets taken down with a basement dropkick, allowing Orton to start in on his arm. Lesnar fights back with the power until Rico manages a double down. Waterman and Orton come in and everything breaks down, with Orton high crossbodying Waterman for the pin at 4:03.

Rating: C+. You can put this on the same list as the Batista match, as this was about getting Orton onto the set, which is fine as he came up with Lesnar in OVW. Waterman is someone who had a good look but was never going to go very far, though the other three were showing potential. It’s weird to think that neither Orton nor Lesnar wouldn’t even be the most successful member of the rookie class, but they did pretty well for second and third.

Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling itself is ok at best (and again, expectations of wrestlers still in developmental are different) but this would have been a perfect choice for something like a modern day Coliseum Video. It gives you exactly what it says it will be and it made for an interesting look at what Lesnar was before he became a force in WWE. It would get repetitive after awhile, but there is something interesting about watching Lesnar fine tune what made him a star.

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Survivor Series 2002
Date: November 17, 2002
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 17,930
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

For those of you who have read my old reviews of this show, you might remember that the main event has sent me into various rantings and ravings over the years. It might have ticked me off more than any match ever at one point, though it’s since been topped multiple times. I’m kind of curious to see how I react to it this time around so let’s get to it.

The opening video focuses on Big Show vs. Lesnar, which is built around the idea that Lesnar is banged up and can’t throw Big Show around like he can with everyone else. The Elimination Chamber actually takes second billing here.

Dudley Boyz/Jeff Hardy vs. Rico/3 Minute Warning

Elimination tables match and that would still be Bubba and Spike. The villains are quickly sent outside with Spike being thrown at the Samoans. He’s easily caught and 3 Minute Warning is nice enough to stand there while Bubba drops down for Poetry in Motion from Jeff. Back in and Jamal takes a hurricanrana out of the corner, followed by Jeff playing D-Von in What’s Up.

The first table is set up in the corner and Jeff is backdropped over the top for one heck of a crash. Rosey drives himself through a table (not an elimination) but stands up, allowing Jeff to hit a high crossbody….which just bounces off the big man. The Dudley Dog is countered and Spike is tossed through a table for the first elimination. Bubba and Jeff fight back but can’t get around the monsters.

Rosey takes Jeff outside and loads up a table but Bubba makes the save. A few forearms to the back allow Jeff to climb onto an exit tunnel for the Swanton to get rid of Rosey. Back in and Rico loads Bubba onto a table before setting up a moonsault. In a fairly infamous moment, there’s no Jeff to make the save so Rico stands there for about ten seconds and even Bubba can be seen looking around for Jeff. Rico very clearly shouts “COME ON JEFF” before Hardy crotches him for the save.

Jamal moves the table so Rico only has to take a regular belly to back superplex. That’s so much better you see. Jeff takes Jamal to the floor and tries to run the barricade (as in he climbs onto it and then runs instead of a running jump and then running across) but falls anyway, sending himself head first through a table. That would be twice in a week that he’s blown that spot and for some reason I don’t picture him being punished anytime soon. Thankfully Jamal hits one heck of a top rope splash to put Jeff through a table to get us down to 2-1.

Ever the genius, Jamal tries a hurricanrana with a table right behind him. After the most obvious powerbomb this side of an Undertaker match, we’re down to Bubba vs. Rico. 3 Minute Warning comes back in to beat on Bubba but D-Von comes out to FINALLY reunite with his brother to one heck of a reaction. A quick 3D puts Rico through a table for the win.

Rating: C+. They really didn’t have another option here as the Dudleys belong together. It would take about twelve years before Bubba was able to strike out on his own and even that only kind of worked. The tag division is dying for some better talent and while not the freshest thing in the world, the Dudleys are certainly better than most other options.

The rest of the match was entertaining but my goodness Jeff was embarrassing out there. He can barely do any of his signature stuff without messing something up anymore and yet he’s still out there every single week doing the same spots over and over. Get him some help already before this becomes an even bigger problem than it already is.

Stacy Keibler introduces Saliva to perform Always live at the World. At least we get some highlights for the show as a bonus.

Cruiserweight Title: Billy Kidman vs. Jamie Noble

Kidman is challenging after defeating Noble twice in the last two weeks. Noble tries a rollup for the fast pin before stomping Kidman down to really take over. A neckbreaker sets up a bow and arrow as Nidia is her usual VERY excited self. Jamie dives into a dropkick as the announcers talk about the tables match. A Hoshi Geroshi (or however you spell the fireman’s carry into a backbreaker) gets two on the champ, followed by a good looking placha to the floor.

Back in and Noble reverses a backslide into the tiger bomb for two but makes the mistake of putting Kidman on the top. A good looking super DDT plants Noble but since DDTs mean nothing, Jamie is right back up for a hanging DDT off the top for his own near fall. An enziguri drops Noble again and, after a failed Nidia distraction, the shooting star gives us a new champion.

Rating: C+. Some selling issues aside, this was a good, back and forth match with both guys looking strong. The problem is the division has fallen into the same pattern it always has: the champion and one challenger comprise the entire thing and that doesn’t exactly have staying power. The match was good though and Kidman winning the title is fine.

Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit get into it again but Angle insists that they’re amigos. Another long form hug ensues.

Victoria is getting ready but apparently her mirror thinks Trish Stratus is prettier.

We recap Victoria vs. Trish. Victoria claims that Trish slept her way into a job after WWE wanted to sign both of them. Now Victoria is here to get revenge on her former friend. The music sounds like the shower scene from Psycho for a nice touch.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Victoria

Trish is defending and this is a hardcore match. Victoria wastes no time and puller her down by the coat before grabbing a broom. JR asks if she’s going to fly it and suggests Victoria is un-Divaesque. That’s probably an unintentional compliment. A trashcan lid gets knocked into the champ’s face and Victoria sends her into the steps. Victoria sets up a trashcan in the corner (with the hole facing the ring), only to have Trish catapult her hands first into said can (that looked horrible and no camera edit was going to save it).

A kick to the head gives Trish two and one heck of a trashcan lid shot knocks Victoria (and her bloody nose) to the floor. The Chick Kick gets two and a HORRIBLE bulldog out of the corner (Victoria’s head hit Trish’s ribs) is good for the same. Victoria blinds her with a fire extinguisher though and a snap suplex of all things gives us a new champion.

Rating: B-. Botches aside, this is a situation where the energy carries the match. They were beating the heck out of each other and you could feel the intensity. The botches and the ending really hold it down but it’s still one of the best women’s matches you’ll see around this time. I know there are still some major issues with the women of this era but this was miles ahead of most things you would see from them at this time.

Eric Bischoff is bragging about the Chamber when Big Show comes up. He’s going to prove Eric wrong for trading him.

Paul Heyman is nervous but says Brock needs to put it all behind him. Tonight they’re in MSG and Heyman is going to do whatever it takes to make sure his client leaves as champion.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Lesnar is defending and the fans are entirely behind him. Brock gets right in his face but gets tossed into the corner. That earns show a double leg takedown and there’s a belly to back suplex on Show. A German suplex follows and Heyman looks nervous. The ref gets bumped but Lesnar belly to bellies Show anyway. Heyman slides in a chair and Brock cracks Show in the head with it, setting up the F5. Another referee comes down but Heyman pulls him out at two. Reality sets in as the chase is on but Show chairs Lesnar in the bad ribs. A chokeslam onto the chair gives Lesnar his first pinfall loss.

Rating: C-. They did everything they could here and thankfully it was really short. Aside from the obvious, I still have a major problem with the story: why did Heyman go through with the screwjob? Lesnar proved him wrong by suplexing and F5ing Big Show but Heyman turned on him anyway. Wouldn’t it make more sense to stick with the more dominant force when you still have Lesnar to protect you? I’d assume it’s because of Heyman and Lesnar’s issues but Heyman has been able to talk Lesnar down before. It’s far from the worst stretch ever but I’m still not sure it makes the most sense.

Heyman and Show run to the parking lot and drive away.

We recap the Smackdown Tag Team Title match. All three teams have traded the titles for over a month now with one classic match after another. The only possible option was a triple threat match and Stephanie McMahon has made it an elimination match for even more fun. This is the real Smackdown main event and they’ve certainly earned that honor with everything they’ve done so far.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Chris Benoit/Kurt Angle vs. Los Guerreros vs. Edge/Rey Mysterio

Edge and Mysterio are defending and Angle/Benoit still can’t get along. Benoit and Mysterio start things off with Chris going head first into the buckle. Edge, in some shiny tights, comes in to drop Angle with a forearm. It’s back to Rey for a springboard splash on Chavo as they’re tagging very quickly here. Eddie comes in to a very noticeable pop and keeps Rey in trouble with some forearms to the back.

The fast tags continue as Angle comes in and goes shoulder first into the post. He’s still able to knock Rey off the top though and the champs stay in trouble. Benoit stays on Mysterio with some rapid fire suplexes as Los Guerreros are (wisely) content with staying on the floor. The Angle Slam doesn’t work so Kurt clotheslines Rey’s head off for two instead. We hit a long front facelock until Rey fights up for a spinwheel kick to the jaw. That’s enough for the hot tag to Edge as everything breaks down.

Rey hurricanranas Eddie to the floor, leaving Edge to get caught in an ankle lock/Crossface combination. Somehow he doesn’t tap out immediately so it’s Rey making the save, followed by a running corkscrew dive onto Chavo and Angle. Benoit grabs the German suplex on Edge, only to have Eddie come in off the top with a sunset flip to send both guys flying. Everyone gets up so Benoit sends Eddie outside, followed by the rolling German suplexes on Edge. Those things always look great.

Eddie gives Edge the frog splash but Benoit breaks it up with a Swan Dive for no apparent reason. Angle comes back in with the ankle lock on Eddie while Benoit Crossfaces Edge, only to have Chavo save Edge with the title. Kurt picks up the title so Benoit thinks it was him, leaving Edge to spear Benoit for the first elimination. That leaves us with two but Benoit and Angle wreck everyone before heading to the back. What poor sportsmanship.

We settle down to Eddie grabbing a sleeper on Edge, followed by a front facelock in case that’s too intense for you. Edge flapjacks both Guerreros and brings Rey back in as this isn’t exactly the break neck pace you would expect. Everything breaks down again and the pop up hurricanrana gets two on Eddie. That sets up the West Coast Pop but Chavo gets in a belt shot, knocking Rey into the Lasso From El Paso for the submission and the titles.

Rating: B. This wasn’t as good as I remember but I think that’s because I just recently watched all the TV matches, which were almost all better. This had too much to live up to and there’s only so much you can do when you’re asked to go out and have a masterpiece. The belt shots didn’t do much to help either as they’re hardly anything interesting and you expect more from these guys.

It’s still a good match and the best thing on the show by far though and it deserves a bit more than just criticism. Some of the sequences were excellent and showed some creativity, along with Benoit and Angle suplexing everything in sight. If this was one of the matches that took place on TV, it would be considered a classic. Some more time would have helped as well.

Here’s Christopher Nowinski to say he’s smarter than the rest of the crowd. After some lame New York Yankees jokes, Matt Hardy (who keeps the temperature at a toasty 75 degrees and only drinks low fat chocolate milk) comes out to say this place is sucking the Mattitude out of him. The payoff is Scott Steiner, who shows up and destroys both guys because we haven’t seen Matt get beaten up recently.

Shawn Michaels is ready to talk about why he believes he can win but RNN BREAKING NEWS tells us that Randy came here to watch. Luckily a sexy flight attendant gave him an extra pillow so there was no further damage to his shoulder.

Long video on the Elimination Chamber which doesn’t really tell us anything. Granted that’s because there isn’t a story here. Basically Bischoff wanted to top Stephanie’s pay per view and invented the Chamber. They’ve made no secret of the fact that this is ALL about HHH vs. Shawn Michaels.

HHH says he’s gone through everyone so he’ll go through everyone tonight too.

Bischoff comes out to walk through the Chamber and explain the rules. This time really couldn’t have gone to the Tag Team Title match? Just put it on a graphic or something…..which they do while Bischoff is still talking.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Booker T. vs. Kane vs. Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Rob Van Dam

HHH is defending. Saliva, at the World, plays Jericho’s music for a cool bit. As the entrances go on forever, it occurs to me how much Shawn’s hair looks like AJ Styles’ soccer mom look. HHH and Van Dam start things off with Rob going straight to the kicks. A backdrop puts HHH onto the steel floor and he hits the cage wall three times in a row. The champ is busted open and Van Dam monkey flips him onto the cage again.

Rolling Thunder over the top makes things even worse as it’s all Van Dam so far. Rob climbs up on top of Jericho’s chamber and gets his legs pulled down into it. Somehow that’s still not enough for HHH to do anything as Rob flips down onto HHH. See? He’s giving Van Dam a rub right now!

Jericho is in third but gets kicked down almost immediately as Rob stays on a roll. In your first ever Chamber highlight reel moment, Jericho catapults Van Dam at the cage wall and Rob just hangs onto it instead of crashing. HHH gets back up and knees Van Dam in the head, meaning it’s time for the double teaming to begin. Rob kicks them both down again and it’s Booker T in fourth to even things up, despite Van Dam doing just fine on his own.

Jericho and HHH are sent to the floor so we can get a Spinarooni, followed by a slugout with Van Dam. The good guys clean house again and it’s HHH getting knocked down, allowing Rob to climb an individual chamber. That means a Five Star, with his knee going right into HHH’s throat which put him out of action for a few weeks. Van Dam seems to have hurt his knee as well, allowing Booker to eliminate him with a missile dropkick. HHH can barely move so here’s Kane to get us back to four.

Jericho is launched through the bulletproof (yes bulletproof) glass to draw some more blood. Chris is fine enough to hit Booker low, followed by a chokeslam and the Lionsault to get rid of Booker. Now that the two guys who have been more over than the entire roster for the last three months are gone, let’s get on with the REAL entertainment.

Jericho and Kane slowly fight until HHH is slammed off the top. Shawn, looking like he’s wrestled one match in four and a half years and in hideous brown tights for some reason, comes in and gets to clean house for a bit. Kane chokeslams everyone but eats a superkick, Pedigree and Lionsault to get us down to three. Jericho and HHH team up on Shawn with HHH rubbing his head against the steel to bust Shawn open. A ram into the wall gives Shawn an opening and he forearms HHH, only to get bulldogged down.

The Lionsault gets two and Jericho is so frustrated that he gets caught in the Walls. HHH makes the save with a DDT but gets in a fight with Jericho over who can pin Shawn. Jericho grabs the Walls on HHH but gets superkicked for the elimination. As anyone paying attention expected, we’re down to HHH vs. Shawn with a spinebuster going straight for the bad back.

Shawn gets thrown through the glass as we really crank up the emotions. The slow beating continues with Shawn being thrown outside again, only to catapult HHH into the wall. Shawn’s top rope elbow gets no cover and HHH grabs the Pedigree for a delayed two. Another Pedigree attempt is countered and Sweet Chin Music gives Shawn the pin and the title.

Rating: B. I’m still not sure what to think of this match. Above all else, it’s long, far longer than it needed to be. The Chamber itself did help and was interesting to see but they need to tweak things a bit (lower the time to four minutes or so). It’s still good but there’s the other problem that it’s kind of hard to overcome: the whole thing felt like a big waste of time until we got to the ending.

That ending of course is Shawn vs. HHH and they might as well have just put up a big clock counting down until we got there. No one else mattered in this match and WWE did nothing to hide it. That makes for an ending similar to Wrestlemania XXXII with Roman Reigns vs. HHH: there’s no drama and it makes for a boring match because you’re just waiting to get to the part that matters.

While I still have issues about guys like Booker, Kane, Van Dam and Jericho being treated as second class citizens so HHH and Shawn can do it one more time (as in the second one more time), it’s not as bad as it once was. After watching the TV shows building up to this, it’s not like this was exactly shocking and the four of them were hardly made to look like real threats to take the title. That doesn’t make it any better but it does make things a bit easier to take.

Overall Rating: C+. This show is pretty much all over the place with good action (there really isn’t a bad match on the card) but sweet goodness some of the choices make your head spin. We really are watching a show in 2002 where Big Show and Shawn Michaels walked out with the World Titles. On top of that we had a less than mind blowing Tag Team Title match which was probably the highlight.

The big problem is that aside from the Chamber itself debuting, there really isn’t anything on here that feels big. Big Show winning was more groan inducing than anything else and Shawn winning felt like we were seeing the inevitable, though the celebration felt big. There’s nothing on here that’s going to really stick with you and that’s not good as the show is worth seeing for the action alone. Overall it’s good but really not remarkable, which is kind of an odd way to compliment a show.

Ratings Comparison

Dudley Boyz/Jeff Hardy vs. Rico/3 Minute Warning

Original: B

2012 Redo: B-

2017 Redo: C+

Billy Kidman vs. Jamie Noble

Original: C+

2012 Redo: B-

2017 Redo: C+

Victoria vs. Trish Stratus

Original: C-

2012 Redo: B

2017 Redo: B-

Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: D-

2012 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: C-

Los Guerreros vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit vs. Edge/Rey Mysterio

Original: B

2012 Redo: B+

2017 Redo: B

Shawn Michaels vs. HHH vs. Booker T vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Kane vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

2012 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B-

2012 Redo: C+

2017 Redo: C+

I must have been in a REALLY bad mood when I watched the main event for the second time.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/02/20/survivor-series-2002-the-longest-rant-about-anything-ive-ever-done/

And the 2012 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/11/10/survivor-series-count-up-2002/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

It was a special event (and a good one too).

From January 31, 2001 in Ohio Valley Wrestling.

Jim Ross brings out Steve Austin, fresh off winning the Royal Rumble, for a chat. The place (the Louisville Gardens as this is a special show) goes coconuts of course and Austin hits all four buckles as only he can. JR thinks Austin is going to beat whoever is the WWF Champion at Wrestlemania and Austin talks about the Mexican food he has been having today. Austin wants to know if the fans are ready to see him at Wrestlemania and that would be an affirmative.

Beer is consumed and Austin badmouths Vince McMahon a bit. Cue Kenny Bolin and Rico Constantino (his ace) with Austin telling them to get out. Rico gets in Austin’s face and Austin isn’t impressed. Rico says he’s coming to the WWF to go after Austin because he’s a role model here in Louisville. Austin thinks that’s a threat and goes to have more beer but Rico says “don’t you turn your back on me son.” Stunning and drinking ensue. I still want to see what Rico could have done with a serious gimmick.

Smackdown
Date: September 12, 2002
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

TIME FOR A WEDDING! Er, a commitment ceremony! So this time around, WWE has decided to try and run a gay wedding for the sake of publicity, which is exactly what they got from it. Billy and Chuck are becoming “tag team partners for life” here and I’ll give you three guesses how legitimate this is. Let’s get to it.

We open with a wedding invitation because of course we do. Oh and this is the season premiere. So last week’s average show was a season finale? They need to work on this stuff.

Video on Brock Lesnar vs. Undertaker’s confrontation last week.

Opening sequence.

Brock Lesnar vs. Hardcore Holly

Non-title. They slug it out to start with Holly hanging in there until it’s an overhead belly to belly suplex to make things right with the world. A front facelock only seems to annoy Holly and he takes Lesnar outside to turn it into another brawl. Raw power gets Lesnar out of trouble again though as he sends Holly back first into the post and grabs another suplex. The LESNAR chants start up with the announcers mentioning his connections to the state. That’s a simple little save but very helpful to keeping Lesnar looking like a heel.

A delayed vertical suplex sets up a bearhug but Brock charges into some boots in the corner. That earns him a completely botched powerbomb with Holly handing on his head, putting him out of action for over a year. Holly somehow gets in a dropkick and the kick to the ribs, only to eat the F5 for the pin.

Rating: D. Really dull stuff here and that’s not the most surprising thing in the world. What is surprising is seeing Holly popping up and finishing the match despite his neck being destroyed like that. I know he might not be the most popular guy in the world but he’s certainly one of the toughest, which means a lot on its own.

Undertaker and his wife arrive. Uh, didn’t that go badly for Undertaker last time?

Eddie Guerrero/Chavo Guerrero vs. John Cena/Edge

Cena is in Minnesota Vikings colors and it’s a brawl to start with the cousins jumping the makeshift team to start. That earns Eddie a pull of the mullet before Cena spins out of a double top wristlock. Eddie and Chavo beat him down on the floor though and Chavo gets in a very hard clothesline.

Back to back gorilla press slams have Eddie in trouble so he calmly dropkicks the knee out because Cena isn’t ready to take Eddie on yet. The tag brings in Edge to clean house until Chavo crotches him against the post. Eddie runs up the corner for a hurricanrana but the half nelson faceplant is enough for the hot tag to Cena (Fan’s sign: “HOT TAG!”. Eh better than “the guy behind me can’t see”.). Everything breaks down and Edge goes shoulder first into the post. Cena is left all alone to take the brainbuster and frog splash for the pin.

Rating: C+. This worked like you would expect it to but I continue to be confused by Cena. He came in white hot and hit the ground running but then he was losing to D-Von and getting pinned clean in tag matches. As is so often the case, you need more than just a wrestling match to get someone over and the lack of any development is really hurting Cena.

Post match Eddie loads up a Stinkface with Chavo playing Rikishi but Edge breaks it up and puts Eddie’s face in there instead.

As expected, Eddie goes nuts on Chavo post break.

Undertaker says Sara is here because she has family in Minneapolis. Matt Hardy comes in and says he’ll have a kid one day with all his Mattributes. That earns Matt a shove into a wall, earning Undertaker the promise of a Mattitude Adjustment.

Rico can’t get the right figures on top of a cake but needs to talk to Stephanie. She can’t go because she has bad luck at weddings (ok I chuckled at that) but Rico gets close to having a meltdown and talks her into it.

Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio

Kurt thinks it’s funny that we’re in “Mini” and he’s facing Mysterio again. Angle: “You know, mini? He’s short. Oh come on that’s funny.” Angle doesn’t want to hear Chris Benoit laughing at him anymore either but jumps back to Mysterio, who is a boy in a man’s world. Kurt: “And I’m a man who loves to play with boys. Wait! I meant to say you’re a boy and I’m a man and tonight I’m going to manhandle you!” If that’s not enough comedy for you, the announcers spend Mysterio’s entrance talking about how the wedding isn’t for ratings and Bischoff used HLA to catch up with Smackdown’s quality.

Some early suplexes have Rey in trouble so he speeds things up (makes sense) with a headscissors. Angle goes shoulder first into the post and a springboard moonsault gets two. A frustrated Kurt flips Rey upside down with a release German suplex and things get more into Kurt’s pace.

We hit the bodyscissors to keep Rey down, followed by some rolling German suplexes to make things even worse. Rey fights right back with a moonsault press and a crossbody to put Angle on the floor. The 619 looks to set up the West Coast Pop but Kurt has to settle for a regular hurricanrana for a close two. Rey takes a bit too long going up though and the corner running Angle Slam puts him away.

Rating: B+. For a TV match, this was absolutely great stuff. These two always have chemistry together, but to be fair that’s the case with almost anyone Angle faces. He’s the kind of guy who can have a good match against anyone and it made for an entertaining match here. Really strong match and that shouldn’t be a surprise in the slightest.

Someone from the wedding party arrives in a long black limousine.

Chris Benoit vs. Rikishi

Rikishi slugs away to start and grabs a sitout spinebuster for no cover. Instead Rikishi gets kicked low and chopped down but the Crossface can’t go on full. Rikishi fights up and tries the Rump Shaker, only to get caught in a rather impressive electric chair drop. The Swan Dive is loaded up but here’s Angle to shove Benoit off the top for the DQ.

Rating: D. So you remember how I said Angle can work well with anyone? Well that’s not the case with Rikishi, who just has no place at this level and everyone knows it. I really have no idea why he’s here, especially when there are a lot of people ready to be raised up to get a shot like this. Orton and Cena are reduced to jobbing roles but Rikishi can be pushed this hard?

Post match Angle holds Benoit in place for the Stinkface.

The wedding ceremony is being set up so Benoit spends the time getting a match with Angle at Unforgiven. Stephanie agrees as Matt comes in and gets a match with Undertaker tonight.

Here’s Rico to complain about how the ceremony isn’t what he ordered, including a very old Justice of the Peace. The singers belt out It’s Raining Men to bring Billy and Chuck to the ring (edited off the Network of course, making for a very awkward transition) and the old man dances. With the Justice’s hands shaking, Chuck talks about how he didn’t know much about Billy when they met.

Billy might have captured a lot of tag team gold but now he’s captured Chuck’s heart. Billy: “That was corny! Even for you!” Rings are exchanged and Rico is all aglow. Rico presents a video called Our Love Story with various comedic/romantic moments between the two of them which is so cheesy it almost works in a way.

We get the speak now line and here’s Godfather with the ladies. Godfather knows Billy has some pimp in him and Chuck was a great skirt chaser, especially with the heftier ladies. Rico will have none of this and dismisses the “Good Time Girls” so the ceremony can continue. Anyway, Billy says yes and Chuck does the same, albeit with some cold feet.

The Justice of the Peace almost pronounces them as married but Chuck says hang on because this was a publicity stunt that got WAY out of hand. Billy flat out says they’re not gay but they have no problem with gay people. Rico loses it but the Justice of the Peace says this is the kind of love that can go on for fifty years, sixteen months…..or three minutes.

The shaking stops and the voice changes with the old man ripping off the prosthetic makeup to reveal Eric Bischoff. I know you can tell it a lot better now with the voice but this COMPLETELY got me back in the day and was one of the best surprises I had ever seen. 3 Minute Warning comes in for the beatdown with Bischoff holding Stephanie back.

Stephanie takes a Samoan drop (BIG pop for that) and I’m sure that’s going to warrant another year of her glorious presence on TV. Edge, Cena and Mysterio come in for the save. The rest of the locker room comes out as well because WE ALL LOVE STEPHANIE and Smackdown is awesome and such.

This one deserves a few notes. First of all, we come back from a break with a listen to the Unforgiven theme song: Adrenaline by Gavin Rossdale, featuring the line “Nobody said this stuff makes any sense.” Well of course it doesn’t. It’s a wrestling angle mainly focusing on the bosses.

That’s the next important note: the recap focuses almost ENTIRELY on Bischoff and Stephanie with the whole wedding, Billy and Chuck, Rico and 3 Minute Warning and anything else being forgotten because we need a long look at how stunned Stephanie was. I know it was shocking, but there were more people there than just Stephanie.

Third, this whole “WE’RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER” stuff didn’t work for WCW and it didn’t work in the Invasion so it’s not going to work here. We just watched Edge shove Eddie’s face into a rather unpleasant area of Chavo’s body but OH NO STEPHANIE IS IN TROUBLE so they’ll band together to help save her? Get out of here with that nonsense. It’s way too much to accept and it’s all for the sake of pushing Raw vs. Smackdown which wasn’t interesting in the first place and still isn’t here.

Finally, I have to mention GLAAD (a gay rights group) completely buying into the story and actually sending a wedding present (it was a gravy boat). After it was revealed to be a ruse, GLAAD ripped WWE apart, all while people were laughing at them for somehow trusting a PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING ANGLE to be on the up and up. That always gave me a good chuckle and I really don’t feel a bit sorry for them looking stupid. Think this stuff through.

Nidia vs. Torrie Wilson

It’s a brawl on the floor to start with Torrie getting in a few chops to take over. The announcers talk about the wedding shenanigans and for once it’s acceptable given how big (albeit stupid) that angle was. Nidia charge into the buckle and gets caught with a neckbreaker for the fast pin.

Undertaker tells Sara this won’t take long.

Matt recruits Brock to be at ringside with him.

Undertaker vs. Matt Hardy

Lesnar and Heyman are at ringside too. Heyman immediately starts running around the ring and throws a chair in with Tazz blaming Stacker 2 (sponsor) for all the energy. Undertaker will have none of this and grabs a powerslam to plant Hardy. Heyman gets ejected and the distraction lets Hardy get in a low blow.

A quick clothesline from Brock puts Undertaker down again and that’s a second ejection. As you probably guessed, Undertaker shrugs it off and beats the heck out of Matt but Heyman shows up in Sara’s locker room. Undertaker runs off for the save (thankfully without an awkward stare at the screen) and the no contest.

Rating: D. This was an excuse to get to the ending and there’s nothing wrong with that. They didn’t exactly hide what they were going for with Sara being shown right before the match and that’s how it should have gone. I’ll even give them points for Hardy not losing, which really is kind of a surprise.

Undertaker charges to the back and chokes Heyman but takes a chair to the head from Lesnar. Brock puts his hand on Sara’s pregnant stomach to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The wedding sent this one flying off a cliff and there wasn’t enough time to recover. That twenty minute segment sucked the life out of the place and that’s not good considering how big of a deal this was supposed to be. I really don’t know how much longer they can keep up this Stephanie vs. Eric stuff but knowing WWE, I’d put a low estimate at about six months minimum with the audience’s level of interest having no impact whatsoever.

The rest of the show was up and down as well but that Angle vs. Mysterio match is worth checking out. I had a good time with some of it but so much of the show was built around one really bad idea that it’s hard to give it the benefit of the doubt. Unforgiven is getting one of the worst builds to a pay per view I’ve seen in a long time and that’s not good, especially after a classic like Summerslam.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

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Smackdown
Date: June 6, 2002
Location: Cox Convention Center, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re two and a half weeks away from King of the Ring and it looks like we’re coming up on Hulk Hogan vs. Kurt Angle and HHH challenging the Undertaker for the WWE World Title. Neither of those are exactly interesting but I’ll take it over Hogan being in the main event again. We also get to find out where Edge goes from here after getting a pretty decisive win in his feud with Kurt. Let’s get to it.

Most of the roster is in the ring. Vince comes out and says the winner gets a title shot at King of the Ring. Just in case the next challenger wasn’t clear when Undertaker beat HHH up last week. This is another segment that didn’t need to air. Just have the ring announcer say this is for a title shot and then the announcers can repeat it. Vince: “The battle royal begins NOW!” So they’re not waiting until later and bringing everyone back out?

Battle Royal

D-Von, Lance Storm, Test, Val Venis, Albert, Faarooq, Kidman, Randy Orton, Hardcore Holly, Chavo Guerrero, Christian, Hurricane, Godfather, Al Snow, Mark Henry, HHH, Hulk Hogan, Chris Jericho, Hugh Morrus, Kurt Angle

Godfather, in his final match with the company, and Faarooq are thrown out early on to clear some space. D-Von follows them out and that’s got to be racist somehow. Test gets rid of Kidman to avoid an Affirmative Action issue and Christian throws Venis out. Christian is eliminated, followed by HHH being thrown through the ropes for a double beating by Test and Storm, neither of whom have been eliminated either.

Orton and Jericho go out next with Henry eliminating Storm and Chavo a few seconds later. A chokeslam to Angle is quickly countered and there go Hurricane and Hugh Morrus. Angle stays hot by getting rid of Albert and throwing Holly through the ropes. Henry is tossed as well and we’re down to Holly, Test, Angle, Jericho, HHH and Hogan. HHH knees Angle in the face and Holly actually throws Kurt out. So Holly is the latest veteran getting a push? Maybe, but he certainly does get a big boot from Test to get us down to four.

The evil Canadians double team our resident superheroes for all of five seconds before Jericho and Test are thrown out, leaving us with the big showdown. We get the staredown and Hogan rips off the shirt. Wouldn’t HHH benefit from kicking him while his arms are busy? Instead HHH hits a Cactus Clothesline and we’ve got two winners.

Rating: D-. This was bad even by battle royal standards with little doubt about who was winning. Why Hogan is still anywhere near the main event scene is beyond me as this run has been one of the biggest disasters in a long time. I get why they wouldn’t want to announce Hogan vs. HHH all over again but was there no better way to do this?

Post break Vince comes on screen to say he’s called Undertaker, who doesn’t care who he faces at King of the Ring. Therefore, there’s going to be a regular #1 contenders match later tonight, making that whole battle royal entirely pointless.

Angle thinks it’s Screw Kurt Angle Month and wants to fight Holly tonight. I get the idea of elevating people, but they’re elevating the same characters who have been around for years. Val Venis is still Val Venis, Test is still Test and Hardcore Holly is still Hardcore Holly. You can’t just throw these same tired acts out there and expect it to go anywhere. At least Storm has only been around for about a year and is still relatively fresh, but almost everyone else feels like a lost cause.

Billy and Chuck are annoyed at Rico for losing the titles. Rico comes in and says they’ve let themselves go, including Billy having a pimple on his cheek. Yes that cheek, which we get to see due to reasons of comedy.

Tag Team Titles: Rikishi/Rico vs. Billy and Chuck

Billy and Chuck are challenging and this is under elimination rules for no apparent reason. Rico and Chuck get things started and a wristlock makes Rico tap in five seconds. Tazz: “Looks like Rico has a limp wrist.” Cole thinks Rico did that on purpose. Rikishi cleans house on his own because the Brand Split has turned Rikishi into some kind of juggernaut who can beat up former Tag Team Champions. A Samoan drop gets rid of Billy so we’re down to Rikishi vs. Chuck for the Tag Team Titles in about two minutes.

The eliminated Billy sends Rikishi into the steps as Rico removes a turnbuckle pad. Something resembling Snake Eyes sends Rikishi into the buckle for two more. Billy’s interference fails so Rico kicks Rikishi in the face, setting up a superkick from Chuck to give Billy and Chuck the titles back, despite Rikishi’s foot being on the ropes.

Rating: F. I’m really not sure if this was an upgrade or another step down. To recap the last two weeks: Rico was thrown into this story by Vince (never involved again), won the Tag Team Titles, failed to screw his partner (and himself) over and then succeeded in screwing him over to give the titles back to Billy and Chuck. This story served no purpose other than to waste the teams’ time and devalue the titles without even offering any comedy. Oh and Rikishi is now a big deal for some reason.

I know the Dudleyz and the Hardyz are stale but they’re WAY better than this. Does Billy and Chuck vs. Matt and Jeff sound worse than this mess? Is there any reason why the titles aren’t on both shows? Raw doesn’t exactly have a ton of tag teams either but at least it opens up some more options. Do something with these things because they’re horrible right now.

Hurricane finds a note in catering saying whoever is leaving these notes is in his locker room. Wait…..wouldn’t he have JUST BEEN THERE? When was that note placed? Back from a break and Hurricane finds Nidia in his locker room. Apparently they hooked up once but Hurricane says it’s over. Cue Jamie Noble to jump him from behind because he’s with Nidia now. So there’s your next Cruiserweight Title feud and another vindictive woman because that’s one of the two ways WWE books women: vindictive or sleeping with anyone who can get them ahead.

Also, what was the point of the notes? The picture Nidia was cropped out of last week looked like any standard photo of a wrestler posing with a fan but it was supposed to be some relationship? Ok, fine, but what was gained by teasing notes if it was just “oh hi Hurricane, I’m Nidia. Remember when we used to sleep together, which doesn’t seem to cause any major issues?”? The division has all of four people at the moment. It’s ok to just introduce someone as a new challenger.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Christian vs. Big Valbowski

If officially renaming Val by one of his own nicknames is the best they can do for a repackaging, they’re in a lot of trouble. Christian jumps him at the bell (that’s getting way too common) and gets two off a suplex. Val comes back with a spinebuster and a reverse figure four of all things. He might not be the most interesting person in the ring but Val always seemed like he was trying and new holds like that are a reason why. The Unprettier is countered into the Blue Thunder Bomb to give Venis the pin.

Rating: C-. Not much here but I was always a bit of a Val fan. Neither is exactly an interesting option but Christian is much higher up on the totem pole than Venis. Like I said earlier: they’re trying to move some people up the roster but fans are going to see Val Venis and roll their eyes.

Linda and Jackie (the Tough Enough winners) come in to introduce themselves to Vince. The boss is of course impressed but here’s Ivory to yell about respect and etiquette. Vince makes a match….for Velocity. Their big draws so far have been a lingerie match and now this. And people wonder why Velocity never went anywhere.

Kurt Angle vs. Hardcore Holly

Holly ducks a right hand to start and scores with a hot shot. A sleeper slows Holly down and Cole calls Holly the toughest man in WWE today. Ok then. Holly reverses into a sleeper of his own which is reversed into a belly to back suplex to put both guys down. Angle goes shoulder first into the post and a powerslam give Hardcore two.

Things are picking up a bit so Angle picks Holly up off the top turnbuckle for the running belly to belly superplex. Holly comes right back with a powerbomb but the Alabama Slam is countered into an ankle lock. There’s no tap since Holly is tough so Angle rolls him up, while grabbing the rope, for the pin instead.

Rating: C+. Actually good here, which is the case for most of these veterans receiving renewed pushes. They’re certainly better than stuff like Tommy Dreamer’s vomit over on Raw but they’re not exactly interesting. That being said, I’ll definitely take veterans having watchable matches over gross out humor every single day.

Holly hits the Alabama Slam but can’t get the wig off as Kurt hits him low. Angle grabs a chair but gets it knocked into his own head. Why Holly doesn’t go for the wig again now that Angle is knocked out isn’t clear.

Torrie Wilson visits Maven in the hospital (broken leg) and a banana is involved. Maven tells the nurse he’s very elevated. The nurse (one of the worst actresses I’ve seen since Nidia) leaves and Torrie takes off her top. We cut to Tajiri at the nurse’s desk, trying to find Maven’s room. For some reason Tajiri grabs his side like he’s having an appendicitis but stands up and goes to Maven’s room.

We look back at the end of the battle royal and the announcers argue over Hogan vs. HHH.

Tajiri is now posing as a doctor and gets called away for an emergency. Shouldn’t the orderlies realize he’s an impostor? Also have we gotten an explanation for why this story is continuing if Maven is supposed to have a broken leg?

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Edge vs. Chris Jericho

And never mind as Edge has a shoulder injury from the cage match and can’t compete. He has to be out for awhile but he’s always willing to take the risk. When he comes back, his only goal is to win the Undisputed Title. He can’t wrestle tonight though, meaning Jericho advances. Jericho jumps him anyway and the beating is on until Venis makes the save.

Stacy Keibler and Dawn Marie get all catty over who gets Vince. I wonder who wrote this one.

Storm tells Kidman that the office thinks Kidman is boring but Kidman gets in a jab at Storm’s haircut.

Maven is all smiley as Torrie stands next to him. Cue Tajiri to mist her and kick him in the knee. So the medical emergency went nowhere and served to waste even more time on a show full of wasted time.

Lance Storm vs. Billy Kidman

Billy tries to fly early on but gets dropkicked off the top for his efforts. A springboard clothesline gives Storm two and a hard DDT is good for the same. The half crab is broken up but Storm crotches him to avoid the shooting star. Lance superkicks him for the pin to end this entertaining filler.

HHH doesn’t have anything to say about Undertaker beating him up or having to face Hogan.

We look back at Jericho attacking Edge.

Hulk Hogan vs. HHH

Hogan starts with his variety of clotheslines and punches, one of which sends HHH outside onto his bad elbow. What doesn’t kill HHH (which is nothing) makes him stronger though and he sends Hogan into the post to take over. Back in and we hit the sleeper on Hogan with the announcers asking how much damage that does to the elbow.

The answer seems to be “not much” as the hold stays on until we get two arm drops and a finger wave. It’s Hulk Up time with the big boot setting up a missed legdrop. The Pedigree is countered and the legdrop gets two. Hogan is shocked at the near fall and gets Pedigreed for the clean pin in less than seven minutes.

Rating: D. Well ok then. This could have been HHH vs. almost anyone but it happened to be the fastest clean job Hogan has ever done (I can’t imagine he’s ever done one faster and there aren’t many to pick from in the first place). HHH vs. Undertaker was obvious and I’d prefer they use Hogan for this instead of some up and coming name as there’s not much of a rub to be gotten from a short match with HHH going over clean.

Hogan shakes HHH’s hand but Angle and Undertaker (who Vince had been calling “at home” all night) come in for the beatdown to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This is a weird one as it’s very clear that Smackdown is suffering from a weak roster. There’s way too much down time and a lot of what they have comes off like filler. I get the idea of pushing the older veterans and I’ll take that over throwing out disasters which have no chance of going anywhere. It’s not a horrible show by any stretch but they’re really in need of some fresh talent around here. The big goal should be to develop some fresh talent and if that means sacrificing the Torrie loves Maven and Dawn and Stacy love Vince segments, so be it.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Smackdown
Date: May 30, 2002
Location: Saddledome, Calgary, Alberta, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re still in Canada and maybe we can find the next challenger to Undertaker for the WWE World Title. As much fun as it was to see him make Tommy Dreamer drink tobacco juice and then beat him up, I could go for an actual match with a challenger instead of just random attacks. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of Hulk Hogan’s retirement from last week to set up what is likely our show long story. Vince McMahon isn’t going to let Hogan retire as punishment for Hogan leaving him ten years ago. An explanation for what he means by that might be nice for the casual fans.

Tag Team Titles: Rikishi/Rico vs. Billy and Chuck

Rikishi and Rico are defending and Rico comes out to the challengers’ music. Chuck gets sent into the corner for an early Stinkface attempt but Rikishi has to deal with Rico. A double flapjack plants the big man but he comes right back with a double clothesline. Rico tags himself in as Rikishi sits on Chuck’s chest, leaving the Samoan to superkick his partner right into the cover to retain the titles. If this is the best they can do with the Tag Team Titles, drop them already because this is an embarrassment.

Hogan arrives.

Torrie Wilson kisses Maven and sexual escapades are implied. Tajiri watches from behind a door. So in other words, Torrie and Maven are Booker and the NWO while Tajiri is Goldust, even down to sneaking around behind them to eavesdrop.

Christian vs. Maven

Maven knocks him outside to start and scores with a dive as the announcers plug Tough Enough 2. Back in and Maven’s middle rope bulldog gets two but here’s Tajiri to kick Maven in the head, setting up the Unprettier for the fast pin.

Vince is on the phone for some exposition about how Benoit is allowed to go to either show because he’s injured. Since when was that written into the Draft charter? Dawn Marie Rinaldi (the last name was later dropped), a paralegal, comes in to give Vince something to sign. Chris Jericho interrupts them to complain about his match with Faarooq tonight. Vince doesn’t think much about that as HHH has to face Test tonight as well. This is your “Still To Come” segment. The Canadian leaves and Vince gets comfortable with Dawn. I guess Stacy is off this week.

GET THE F OUT!

Chris Jericho vs. Faarooq

We start with the power game, including a clothesline to put Jericho on the floor. A hot shot onto the barricade has Jericho in even more trouble and Faarooq drops a knee for two. Jericho realizes he’s only fighting Faarooq and gets in a middle rope dropkick to take over. With the wrestling not working, Jericho pulls off a turnbuckle pad followed by the bulldog. The Lionsault misses though and Faarooq hits that always good looking spinebuster. Not that it matters as Jericho sends him into the exposed buckle for the pin.

Rating: D-. Less than two weeks ago, Chris Jericho was inside the Cell in a major match with HHH. In the last two weeks, he’s had a match against Mark Henry and had to cheat against Faarooq. HHH fought Lance Storm and gets Test tonight, which isn’t much better but they’re almost guaranteed to be stronger matches. How does this stuff benefit anyone?

Lance Storm asks D-Von to take his confession…..in the men’s room. Storm’s sin: being from western Canada. D-Von forgives him but isn’t pleased with Storm’s small donation to the building fund.

Hogan is in the back for an interview but first let’s stop to soak in some cheers. Hulk was all ready to retire last week but Vince wants to treat him like an indentured servant. Vince can stick that contract in a rather uncomfortable place and Hogan will follow it with his size fifteen. After winning the title, Hogan only has one thing left to do: fight Vince McMahon, one on one. Vince comes in for a staredown but Angle jumps Hogan from behind with a steel exercise bar. There’s a big match at King of the Ring.

WWE Undisputed Title: Undertaker vs. Randy Orton

Here’s a major feud three years from now. Before the match, Undertaker actually sucks up to the Calgary fans for reasons unclear. Orton accepts a handshake to start and is actually granted a clean break in the corner. Undertaker walks into an armdrag and backdrop before a clothesline puts him on the floor. A big dive follows and I’m stunned at Undertaker actually selling here.

The Oklahoma roll gets two on the champ and a surprised Undertaker clotheslines him down. We get the second exposed buckle of the night but Orton gets caught with some dropkicks. That earns him a running DDT though and it’s time for Undertaker to get serious. Unfortunately serious means being sent into the exposed buckle, allowing Orton to hit the Overdrive (or whatever it’s called this week) for two.

I’m not sure why but there’s a major edit there as Orton grabs the near leg for the cover but a camera cut shows the far leg being held on the kickout. On top of that, Undertaker loses his bandana in between camera cuts. No idea what that’s about. That’s enough for Undertaker though as it’s Snake Eyes and a big boot for two, followed by Orton grabbing a rollup for his own near fall. A chokeslam retains the title.

Rating: C-. Not terrible here actually as Orton actually got in a lot instead of just getting squashed. I’m not sure what was up with Undertaker being nice at the beginning (just pure cockiness maybe) or the weird camera cut in the middle. At least Orton got a rub here because that’s what they need more than anything else: young guys getting to look good. Also, it makes sense to see Orton’s offense still being very basic. His big move is that Overdrive and the rest is all basic stuff. He’s adding more stuff though and that’s how he should be going.

Post match the rookie gets beaten up some more until HHH comes out to clean house. A challenge is issued but Undertaker is sent off by the Game’s music. I can’t imagine it was intentional, but you could look back at that as a sign that HHH thought something of Orton. Randy joined up with HHH in January so it’s not like there’s an unthinkable gap of time in there.

Hurricane/Kidman vs. Chavo Guerrero/Tajiri

Hurricane takes Tajiri to the floor to start and does the rocking horse move to send Tajiri’s head into the bottom buckle over and over. Tazz: “Just like Maven and Torrie!” A superkick gets two on Tajiri and it’s off to Kidman (who looks really weird in regular trunks) for the Sky High on Chavo.

Tajiri goes with the standard cheating by kicking Kidman from the apron and grabbing a Tarantula to take it a step further. That just makes him cocky though and it’s time for Kidman to counter a powerbomb with the X Factor. Hurricane comes back in to clean house with the Overcast getting two.

A flip dive takes Tajiri out again, followed by Kidman busting out a shooting star from the top to the floor onto both villains. Back in and Hurricane’s music hits as a message pops up on screen, saying the reveal is next week. As a bonus we see a woman’s hands on Hurricane’s chest, meaning this is likely going to be ANOTHER love triangle story. Tajiri kicks the distracted Hurricane for the pin.

Rating: B. This is what I’m looking for with the cruiserweights, minus the angle that is. These guys know how to fly around the ring and make the division look like a lot of fun. That shooting star from Kidman looked awesome and is the kind of thing I want out of this division. There’s no need for anything beyond basic characters because the action should be the driving force around here.

HHH vs. Test

Fallout from Test attacking HHH last week and I’m having flashbacks to 1999 when this meant something. Triple H knocks him into the corner and out to the floor for a good posting. Cue Lance Storm for a distraction so Test can get in a quick legdrop as HHH gets back inside. A good looking side slam gets two and Storm gets in a better looking superkick on the floor. Back in and HHH gets the spinebuster so Storm jumps on the apron like a good evil Canadian. Storm is finally thrown at Test and eats a big boot from his buddy. Cue the Undertaker for a distraction though and Test kicks HHH in the face for the pin.

Rating: D. Here’s the thing: this really doesn’t do anything for Test because it was all about HHH being dragged down by the overwhelming odds. Test really could have been anyone here and that’s not doing anyone any good. Orton got in offense on Undertaker on his own and looked like he had potential. HHH beat the heck out of Test anytime it was one on one. That doesn’t help Test, which makes this little more than time filler until Undertaker got there.

The beatdown is on post match, including a chokeslam and a bunch of chair shots. Referees and suits finally break it up.

The cage is lowered.

Val Venis tells Edge to rip off Angle’s wig. So Venis has gone from an adult star to a censorship advocate to Edge’s buddy. That’s quite the character evolution.

Angle swears his hair is natural and threatens pain for anyone who tries to show footage of his haircut. Violence against Edge is promised.

The Hart Family, including Stu, is in the crowd.

Kurt Angle vs. Edge

They have a lot of time for this one and it’s inside a cage with pins/submissions or escape as winning options. For some reason Edge tries to take it to the mat early on before opting to send Angle flying into the cage. A spear attempt hits cage though and we hit a front facelock. The rolling German suplexes get two on Edge and he gets thrown into the cage a few times to draw some Canadian blood.

Edge’s half nelson faceplant has Angle staggered but it’s time for a ref bump. You can tell this is going to get stupid now. A belly to back superplex cuts off Angle’s escape attempt and Tazz is amazed that Kurt’s hair is still on. Edge goes up and gets low blowed back down, setting up one heck of a super Angle Slam. It’s always cool looking when someone goes flying through the air into a big crash.

Angle goes over the top and escapes but here’s Hogan for revenge from earlier. Back from a break with another Angle Slam getting two. Edge hits his own Slam but gets caught in the ankle lock. Angle is sent into the cage so Edge puts on his own ankle lock (Angle LOVED that stealing finishers spot).

That’s reversed as well and Angle goes over the top, only to have Edge kick the door open to crotch Angle back down. Back inside and Kurt tries to run the corner for a superplex but a top rope spear (more like a shoulder but the timing was hard to pull off) gives Edge the pin. So does that make it one fall apiece?

Rating: B+. Hogan really brings this one down as he feels so out of place. You have a match with Angle and Edge beating the heck out of each other but then you do a false finish (with Angle winning completely legally) for the sake of advancing Angle vs. Hogan. I don’t see a reason why you couldn’t wait until after the cage match and then start the new feud as it’s not like losing to Edge is going to take away all of Angle’s heat. Hogan didn’t help Edge get the win at the end but he was way too big of a factor in the match, which was excellent without him but just very, very good with him.

Post match Hogan goes after Angle but can’t get the wig off. Hogan’s music plays to end the show because that’s how things work around here.

Overall Rating: C+. The first hour or so was dreadful but once you get to the meat of the show, this turned around in a hurry with some hard work and good wrestling. The holes are still there with stuff like HHH vs. Undertaker for the title (though there isn’t another main eventer ready for the shot at the moment) and the mess that is the Tag Team Titles. The main event more than bails the show out though and is worth checking out if you have the time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: May 23, 2002
Location: BankcorpSouth Center, Tupelo, Mississippi
Attendance: 7,450
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We might be in for a major announcement this week as new WWE World Champion the Undertaker has suggested that Hulk Hogan will be retiring tonight. I know 2002 was a different time but does anyone believe that Hogan’s retirement is coming on a regular Smackdown in Mississippi? Let’s get to it.

We open with the same recap of the big pay per view matches from Raw.

Opening sequence.

Cole immediately tells us that Hogan will be retiring tonight and says this will be the resting place of Hulkamania.

HHH vs. Lance Storm

Cole thinks Vince, you know, the boss and lone authority figure on this show, had something to do with this match being made. In addition to that, the entrances are dedicated to talking about what Hogan has been telling his friends and family about tonight. Storm does his normal schtick and takes the running knee to the face for his efforts, which only hurts HHH’s bad leg. A good looking dropkick puts HHH down and Storm does that weird hopping stomp of his. HHH’s cut is opened up again and Storm gets two off a top rope clothesline.

Cole and Tazz get into their fifth discussion of Hogan’s retirement (not an exaggeration and we’re only ten minutes in) as HHH makes his comeback with right hands and a spinebuster. Storm’s superkick (looks awesome as always) sets up the half crab on the bad leg for the logical submission attempt. A rope is grabbed so Storm heads up, only to have HHH shove the referee into the ropes for the crotching, followed by a Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: B-. For a five minute match to open a Smackdown, this was actually very good stuff. Storm looked like a threat to HHH (as big of a threat as he could have been at least) and the half crab made perfect sense. HHH sold well too and made Storm seem like a bigger deal, which was exactly the point of this match.

Notice the different between Raw and Smackdown: Raw has been using pretty much the same cast of characters since the Brand Split. Smackdown has at least turned guys like Storm and Val Venis into perfectly competent jobbers to the stars who also keep things feeling fresh. It’s a small difference but very helpful.

Christian is talking to Kurt Angle (head not seen) about how Kurt is going to go out there and expose his bald head. For reasons of general stupidity, Christian starts a YOU’RE BALD chant.

Stacy Keibler comes up to Test and tells him Vince has given him Randy Orton tonight. Apparently Vince is mad that Stacy thinks Orton is good looking and wants Test to take him out. Test says ok and kisses Stacy, who doesn’t seem to disapprove.

Here’s Angle, now with a curly brown wig and amateur wrestling headgear. Angle: “It’s amazing what hair supplements can do!” We get the required reference to Hogan’s retirement but here’s Maven to interrupt. Maven makes bald jokes and says Mississippi wants to see the real Angle. Kurt: “Do you work here or something?” The fight starts and Angle beats Maven up because one of them is Kurt Angle and the other is Maven. Cue Edge for the save but Christian comes out before the wig can be pulled off.

Test vs. Randy Orton

Before Test comes out, Stacy is on the table in a short skirt for her weekly dance. In addition to that, you can see her challenge for the Women’s Title in a bra and panties match on the debut of Velocity. The current Superstars debuted with Undertaker vs. Matt Hardy and Main Event debuted with CM Punk vs. Sheamus (World Champion vs. World Champion). I’d say that’s a point in the future’s favor.

Test starts fast and hammers in the corner with the big power offense. The pumphandle powerslam gets two on Orton as it’s not clear who Stacy wants to win. Test misses the big boot though and crotches himself on the ropes. Again, Stacy seems to like both guys in a nice shade of gray. A few rollups get two for Orton but the Test Drive (pick whatever name you like for the rolling cutter) gives Test the win.

Rating: C. For a four minute match, this actually had a story. Test, the powerful veteran, manhandled the rookie, who could only hit and run while looking for a quick win. I liked this way more than I was expecting and when you throw in several shots of a smiling Stacy, this was one of the best things on the show.

Undertaker doesn’t think anyone is ready to face him and he shrugs off a package of his match with Rob Van Dam. Interviewer Mark Lloyd says some people say he lost the title due to getting pinned with his foot on the ropes. That’s like saying he got pinned despite kicking out, mainly because Lloyd isn’t that bright. Anyway, Undertaker wants to see Hogan retire because that’s all that matters tonight.

Rico is admiring his Tag Team Title when Billy and Chuck come in. Apparently the title doesn’t matter because it doesn’t go with his clothes. That’s what the Tag Team Titles now mean people.

Chris Jericho isn’t in a good mood when he runs into Faarooq. Jericho: “Just the man I wanted to see.” Faarooq: “Are you high? Or drunk?” Jericho wants to get out of his match but Faarooq turns down the offer of money because Jericho is facing Mark Henry.

Edge/Maven vs. Kurt Angle/Christian

Angle jumps Edge during his entrance (Canadians never pay attention.) but Edge gets in a quick sitout Edgecution. It’s too early to get the wig off though and you can hear Angle’s medals clanging together as he runs away. Was there ever a reason given for Angle having more than one medal when he only won one? It’s a very simple heel idea to say he deserved more than one but you would think that would have been a joke once or twice.

As this is still waiting to get going, Torrie and Trish are shown watching in the back. Torrie is dating Maven and Trish is watching because……I have no idea. WWE really had a thing for blondes around this point. Christian chops Maven in the corner but an Edge distraction lets the rookie get in a low blow. The hot tag brings in Edge to clean house and everything breaks down. The Angle Slam plants Edge but Maven gets in a missile dropkick for two on Christian. Angle and Edge fight to the floor and the Unprettier is countered into a rollup to give Maven the big upset pin.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much but again, they give someone a win for the sake of a rub. Christian giving up a fluke pin in a tag match isn’t going to hurt him long term but it could do a lot of good for Maven. It’s a case of throwing something against the wall and seeing if it sticks and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Rikishi vs. D-Von

D-Von now has the awesome “He’s Called My Name” gospel theme. Rikishi doesn’t think much of D-Von saying the thong is sinful but it’s too early to sit on D-Von’s chest. Cue Rico (with his title belt) as Rikshi gets in a belly to belly on D-Von. Now it’s Billy and Chuck coming out to see Batista trip Rikishi to give D-Von a breather.

A DDT has no effect on the Samoan (I love stereotypes shining through) as Tazz uses this match to talk about Hogan, who feuded with Rikishi’s cousin Yokozuna. That’s the kind of stuff they’ve been doing all night and it got old an hour ago. The Stinkface is loaded up but a Batista distraction lets Rico hit Rikishi with the belt to give D-Von the pin.

Rating: D. This match ran 3:08 and had Batista, Rico, Billy and Chuck interfering, plus a belt shot and a Hogan vs. Yokozuna reference. Oh and the Tag Team Champions hate each other the same week they won the belts and somehow the division is already pining for the days of Al Snow/Maven vs. Billy and Chuck.

Chavo Guerrero is watching Eddie Guerrero attack Steve Austin on Raw when Gregory Helms comes in. Gregory wants to know if Chavo knows anything about someone stalking Hurricane. Chavo says he’s going to take the Cruiserweight Title tonight and leaves. Before Helms leaves, he finds another clue: a bag of beef jerky. So wait: whoever is doing this is leaving notes and clues in someone else’s locker room on the off chance that Hurricane’s alter ego comes in and interviews them about who is leaving the notes?

HHH says there are no winners in the Cell but just survivors like him. Storm comes up to talk trash when Test jumps HHH from behind.

Cruiserweight Title: Hurricane vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Hurricane is defending and catches Chavo with an early powerslam. With this match already going nowhere, it’s time to talk about HULK HOGAN MOVIES. A dropkick knocks Hurricane off the top for two and it’s off to a discussion of great Hogan feuds, including King Kong Bundy and Kamala. An Emerald Flowsion of all things gets two on the champ but the Overcast (Blockbuster) retains the title. This was just background noise while the announcers squeezed in whatever new Hogan topic they could think of.

Vince isn’t concerned about Stacy kissing Test because tonight he’s getting rid of Hogan. Jericho comes in to yell about facing Henry but Vince tells him it’s an opportunity.

Chris Jericho vs. Mark Henry

Henry throws him around to start and Chris’ wounds are already opened up again. A Vader Bomb misses and Jericho dropkicks him in the face. Mark gets back up for a five rep gorilla press so Jericho grabs a chair. Henry has his own chair taken away so Jericho gets in a shot to the back for the pin.

Rating: D. So HHH has a match with a story of a bad leg and a leg submission hold while making Storm look good. Jericho has a match where Henry gets to do power stuff and there’s a screwy ending. We’ll chalk this up to a combination of Mark Henry not being very good and Jericho only being able to work a few miracles. Henry is so one dimensional that it’s almost painful and even WWE seems to have given up on his push.

Here’s Hogan for the big segment that they’ve been building to ALL NIGHT LONG. After a long HOGAN chant, Hulk gives his life history, including talking about being born Terry Bollea in Augusta, Georgia. He’s had the time of his life for the last twenty years and he’s sad that his father isn’t here to celebrate with the Hulkamaniacs.

One night he and his father were watching wrestling and his dad told him to go wrestle again and straighten out his career in the WWF. Hogan thanks his fans for having his back all these months (all three of them since he came back). However, Hogan has to know when it’s time to leave (About nine years ago?) and wants the fans to live forever. Posing ensues (with Voodoo Child making a rare appearance on the Network version) but here’s Vince to interrupt.

Vince finds it amusing that Hogan is retiring in a place like Tupelo (true) but Hulk isn’t going to retire anytime soon (well duh) because Vince isn’t letting 1993 happen all over again (he says ten years ago so 1993 is just an educated guess). If Hogan leaves, he’ll get sued for everything he’s got. Hogan isn’t retiring until Vince has gotten every cent that he can out of him and that’s that. Hulk punches him down but here’s Undertaker, only to be dispatched in short order.

Overall Rating: D+. The wrestling was better for the most part tonight but that main event segment did this show no favors. At the end of the day, this was ALL about Hogan and after setting up something on Monday and building it up all night, Vince basically just comes out and says “eh not really” and it looks like we’re setting up Undertaker vs. Hogan II. There’s a little good stuff here but the bad outweighs it and that’s not good. Get rid of Hogan and Vince (for the most part) and this show is much better in a hurry.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Judgment Day 2002
Date: May 19, 2002
Location: Gaylord Entertainment Center, Nashville, Tennessee
Attendance: 14,521
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

The company is ice cold coming into this show and I can’t imagine this is going to make things any warmer. Raw has turned into a mess with the old guys doing whatever they want while Smackdown is about Vince somehow failing to sleep with Stacy Keibler because he can’t just get a room somewhere. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is rather disturbing with a bunch of nooses and small children talking about death. What a great way to get me in a fun spirit for the show.

Intercontinental Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Rob Van Dam

Van Dam is challenging in a rematch from last month’s title change. They start fast as you would expect with Eddie being sent outside in early frustration. Back in and Eddie tries to duck a crossbody but gets head faked, allowing Van Dam to drop a split legged moonsault for two. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker keeps Eddie in trouble and we hit a surfboard. Lawler: “That looks more like my dating strategy.”

The announcers try their hands at Spanish as Eddie takes over with right hands in the corner. A monkey flip sends Eddie flying and stays on his back so Rolling Thunder can get two. It’s too early for a Five Star though as Eddie crotches him on the top. A powerbomb can’t set up Eddie’s frog splash though as Eddie spends a bit too long dancing on top.

Van Dam still can’t hit the Five Star though as Eddie moves away, leaving the announcers to wonder how to say RVD in Spanish. He can however hit a high crossbody for two (Lawler: “Mama Mia. Is that Spanish?”), followed by a backslide for the same. Ever the cheat though, Eddie grabs a backslide of his own and puts his feet on the ropes for the pin to retain.

Rating: B. Now why can’t these two get this kind of time on Raw? I know you can’t give a single match twenty minutes a week but would it kill them to have ten minutes on an episode of Raw and cut out one of the multiple matches that don’t even get three minutes because they don’t matter? Anyway, good stuff here, as you would expect from these two.

Reverend D-Von and Batista are with Vince and Stacy, the latter of whom they pray for before her match against Trish. Vince, who looks at Stacy while they’re praying and tells D-Von to wrap it up, asks if Bubba is going to be here. D-Von doesn’t think so, despite Vince saying Bubba would be here and Bubba being shown on the graphic.

GET THE F OUT! Did they only record that one gardening bit for the campaign?

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Stacy Keibler

Trish is defending and Lawler freaks out over her shorts. D-Von, Batista and Bubba come out after the entrances, leaving me time to wonder how we went from Trish vs. Molly to Trish vs. Stacy. Maybe because Stacy is more willing to wear leather shorts and a tied off leather top? Stacy kicks Trish in the head for two to start but gets pulled down into a Boston crab and they’re not even hiding what they’re going for with the visuals.

Trish gets in a kick of her own to knock Stacy outside, allowing her to slap Bubba in the face. Batista uses the distraction to slam Trish and give Stacy a two count. That’s finally enough for Trish as she baseball slides Stacy and hits a bulldog (more like the kind Jericho uses to set up the Lionsault) to retain. Stacy clearly had no business out there but to be fair they didn’t try to act like she did and got them out of there fast.

Bubba and D-Von get in a fight post match with Batista helping put Bubba through a table.

Vince comes in to see Ric Flair and Arn Anderson and the bosses share their hatred of Austin. Remember like two months ago when the company was split in half because of their feud?

Hardy Boyz vs. Brock Lesnar/Paul Heyman

Thankfully Heyman is in full body workout gear. The brothers are smart enough to take out the monster for all of ten seconds but don’t have Matt beat the tar out of Heyman or just roll him up while Jeff slows Lesnar down for reasons that aren’t clear. Brock saves his buddy and starts beating on Matt as the fans chant for Goldberg. Please, don’t make me think about that match.

The backbreaker has Matt reeling but he grabs a quick tornado DDT to scare Heyman half to death. Jeff gets the tag and everything breaks down with the brothers going after Heyman. Brock gets tired of these flies and throws Jeff into Matt, setting up the F5. Heyman comes in and grabs the pin like a chicken heel should.

Rating: D-. What were you expecting here? Lesnar really needs to move on to something else, though to be fair he squashed a great tag team more than once and they made him look like a monster. He needs to move way up the ladder in a hurry though because this sort of act is only going to work for so long.

Booker T. is now in an NWO shirt but cancels an interview to hit on a woman who just happens to be standing off camera. The woman has something in mind and gives Booker her hotel room key. I smell shenanigans.

We recap Steve Austin vs. Ric Flair/Big Show, which is just the latest Austin vs. McMahon clone. Flair and Austin have been fine on the talking but there’s just no heat to this feud because everyone knows it’s warmed over leftovers. They even show Austin vs. Vince clips in the build. Show is here because he’s mad about not being on Wrestlemania, which is of course Austin’s fault in wrestling logic.

Steve Austin vs. Ric Flair/Big Show

Based on the entrances, I’m pretty sure Flair isn’t in the NWO. I’m also fairly sure that Show’s low cut one piece women’s swimsuit attire is some of the dumbest gear of all time. Just have him in shorts and a Big Show shirt. Austin slugs away at both guys to start but decides to try a Figure Four on Show. Instead he has to knock Ric out of the air first and put him in the hold.

Show misses an elbow drop and Austin wisely grabs a chair. The referee takes that away so Austin gets another one and has a seat. We finally get started with Austin punching Flair out to the floor, meaning it’s time for beer. A tackle dropdown goes well for Austin and an exchange of chops give us a Flair Flop. Show comes in and because 2002 is a strange year, Austin isn’t sure what to do. His decision: push-ups. Not a fan of exercise, Show chops him down and throws Austin into the corner, allowing a tag to Flair for a low blow.

Flair goes up and is slammed right back down (JR: “From no man’s land to Parts Unknown!”) but Show comes back in with a powerslam. The team starts taking turns on the knee as this isn’t exactly thrilling. It’s not a bad match or anything but it’s just there. The idea of Flair taking someone’s knee apart has worked for years but I don’t buy the story behind the match and a match being just ok isn’t enough to make up for that kind of a downside.

Flair gets the Figure Four until Austin turns it over, only to have Show break that up as well. Austin’s back is fine enough for punches vs. chops, giving us WHAT vs. WOO in one of the more eye roll inducing chants. Austin starts in with the spinebusters as X-Pac comes out. Show no sells a Stunner for some reason but X-Pac’s missed superkick puts him down. Huh? The Stunner puts Flair away a few seconds later.

Rating: C+. The match was totally fine but it’s really hard to buy Austin in this midcard role. I know it’s one of the top stories on Raw but this is midcard level stuff at best. Austin vs. Flair isn’t interesting and Austin beating up the NWO week to week is even worse. Big Show and Booker T. are the big names in the division and there’s no reason either of them would be a real threat to Austin in the ring. What’s interesting about seeing Austin fighting midcarders like X-Pac? The feud was dead from the start and it feels like they’re wasting what Austin has left.

We recap Edge vs. Kurt Angle, which is over Edge messing with Angle’s new shirt. For some reason this set up a hair vs. hair match.

Kurt Angle vs. Edge

They start fast with Edge getting an early rollup and getting stomped in the ribs for his efforts. That’s fine with Edge who ties Angle up in the ropes for a spear, only to have Angle suplex him way over the top. Back in and a spinebuster gets two for Angle (not something you see him use that often) as the announcers discuss the shapes of the wrestlers’ heads.

We hit the chinlock for a bit before Angle pulls him down by the hair. That’s a nice little touch, albeit not the most subtle. Edge comes back with a belly to belly of his own (JR: “He ain’t wearing a hat!”) and an Edge-O-Matic gets the same. Angle is sent outside for a dive from Edge so it’s time for more suplexes. JR: “That suplex was finer than frog hair split four ways.”

An Edgecution gets no cover for no logical reason as Edge goes up top, allowing Angle to hit a great looking pop up superplex. Edge DDTs him out of the corner for two of his own but spears the referee by mistake. That means the spear only gets two on Kurt, who spears Edge right back. The Angle Slam looks to set up the ankle lock but Edge small packages him for the pin.

Rating: B. These two work really well together and it’s a great way to make Edge look like a star as he pinned a former World Champion clean to win the feud. The company really needs some fresh stars in the main event scene and Edge makes as much sense as anyone else. As usual, Angle can make people look great and that’s so valuable in wrestling.

Angle goes after Edge but gets an Edgecution. It takes too long to get him to the chair though and Kurt escapes.

We go to the Marriott where Booker is in bed. The woman joins him and the lights go out….so Goldust can say he wants Booker to leave the NWO and come back to him. The lights come back on and Goldust is in bed with them. Booker runs off with his underwear hanging down. Goldust: “I bought this nightgown for nothing!” They mentioned that Goldust planned the whole thing but I could go for him just randomly appearing in the room with them. It suits him that way.

The Cell is lowered.

We recap HHH vs. Chris Jericho. These two have feuded since Wrestlemania with HHH winning almost all of the matches. HHH then went after Vince, who set this match up as punishment.

HHH vs. Chris Jericho

Even with a lower level match like this, it’s cool to see the Cell in any form. HHH starts in with the knee and some right hands in the corner. They head outside so neither can be sent into the cage, followed by Jericho’s flying forearm to take over. Jericho misses a charge into the post though and HHH takes him outside for a whip into the cage wall. Neither can keep an advantage again though as Jericho whips HHH over the corner for another crash to the floor. HHH comes right back with a whip to send Jericho’s bloody arm into the steps. At least they’re bringing the violence early on.

The Pedigree onto the steps is countered into a catapult into the cage wall. Since the Cell isn’t enough, Jericho brings in a ladder to smash HHH in the face, drawing more blood. Jericho throws the ladder over the top at HHH in a spot that always looks good. I’m actually surprised by how much they’re giving Jericho here. I know it’s HHH in a big match against an opponent he owns but they’re doing a really good job of making Jericho look strong here.

HHH’s chair shot doesn’t get him out of trouble but the drop toehold to send Jericho into the steps works a bit better. To make it a bit worse, HHH just throws the steps at Jericho for a painful sounding thud. Now we get to the bad part of the match as HHH whips Jericho into referee Tim White, knocking White off the apron and into the Cell. The bump badly hurt White’s shoulder and basically ended his in ring career.

Jericho beats White up even more (if he wasn’t hurt before, he is now) and busts him open for a rare visual. Since White has the key, the other referees have to cut the door open to check on White. That’s enough for HHH and it’s time for a sledgehammer off Jericho’s head. No referee of course though so Jericho crawls out of the Cell, continuing the running joke of THE CELL DOESN’T WORK.

They head to the announcers’ table (of course) where Jericho loads up a Pedigree (of course) but HHH counters (of course) into a DDT through the table. HHH pulls out the barbed wire 2×4 and Jericho goes up the Cell wall with HHH following. For reasons of pure stupidity, HHH THROWS THE BARBED WIRE UP BOARD UP FIRST, allowing Jericho to take it away and hit HHH in the back.

With HHH’s back busted open, we hit the Walls of Jericho on the roof, meaning a referee has to climb up. You know, because now falls count on top of the Cell. HHH kicks away and hits Jericho low, followed by a barbed wire shot. A Pedigree onto the roof (that was scary) finally ends Jericho.

Rating: B. That’s probably the best HHH vs. Jericho match ever and it’s really not great. They did a much better job of making me believe Jericho could pull it off, which is something these two have never been able to do. I mean, would you believe that this Jericho could beat HHH in a major match? That being said, this still felt like it was missing a big chuck in the middle. They did the Jericho beatdown but then they were on the outside for the final act. It’s still good though and an acceptable blowoff, though it would have been fine as a regular cage match.

Angle runs from Edge in a goofy looking chase.

Get The F Out, set to Mark Henry’s Sexual Chocolate theme and taking place in the back of a steamy car. At least that answers my question.

Maven and Torrie go on a date at WWF New York.

Tag Team Titles: Billy and Chuck vs. Rikishi/???

Welcome to the death slot. Billy and Chuck are defending and Rikishi’s mystery partner is……Rico. This is officially Vince’s decision so he indeed likes the wacky partners. Billy’s DDT has no effect on Rikishi to start but Rikishi’s charges misses both champs. Rico won’t tag in though and the champs take over in the corner.

Chuck gets a rather impressive overhead belly to belly for two as the fans aren’t exactly caring, meaning the death slot is living up to its name. The big man fights back again with some Samoan drops before sitting on Chuck’s chest for two. A HORRIBLE looking one man 3D (which JR calls a headbutt in mid air, which is probably closer than what Rikishi was going for) gets two on Billy but Rico kicks Chuck by mistake. Rikishi kicks Chuck as well and gets the pin for the titles. No reaction or anything, but he got the titles.

Rating: F. The story is tired, the result is predictable and the match sucked. I’m really not sure what else you were expecting here as Rikishi is somehow the old veteran on Smackdown. Hopefully this isn’t a long reign and we can get ANYONE else as better champions sometime soon.

Angle attacks Edge (instead of LEAVING) and brings him back to the arena. Edge reverses into a sleeper and Angle gets the big haircut. Edge wants the new chant to be YOU’RE BALD and it sounds as bad as it seems.

We recap Hulk Hogan vs. Undertaker, which is a game of how bad can we really make this. Undertaker won a match last month to become #1 contender and they’ve messed with each others’ motorcycles since. The question tonight is how embarrassing can Hogan actually be with Undertaker having to carry the match.

Undisputed Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Undertaker

Undertaker is challenging and has Hogan’s weightlifting belt. As always, Hogan takes too long coming in and gets whipped over the back. Hogan no sells (duh) and hammers away before doing a little whipping of his own. We get the opening bell and it’s time for Hogan do do his stuff while Undertaker does most of the selling, which is both the right call and a major stretch on Undertaker’s part.

Undertaker is whipped into the steps and things are made even worse when Old School is broken up. I’ll give them this: they’re three minutes in and Hogan hasn’t horribly botched anything yet, meaning we’re going well so far. Hulk actually hits a superplex (biggest spot he’s done in YEARS) for two before settling back in for some right hands.

A chop block gives Undertaker a target though and it’s time to slowly work over the knee. That of course means a few kicks to the leg and laying on it in a leglock. Yeah it’s boring but it’s also one less thing they could horribly botch. Hogan fights up and hits the big boot but the legdrop is countered into a dreadful half crab. Some rights and lefts have Hogan in trouble, though I’m not sure what’s scintillating about them.

Undertaker grabs him by the throat and Hogan barely moves, leaving Undertaker to loudly shout JUMP before hitting one of the worst chokeslams you’ll ever see (This is COMPLETELY edited on the Network as Hogan not moving is edited out along with Undertaker shouting. It’s also a different camera angle.).

That’s enough for the Hulk Up and the usual gets two for the champ. The running DDT gets the same for Undertaker as this is actually picking up a bit. Cue Vince as Hogan kicks a chair into Undertaker’s face and drops another leg for no cover. Instead Vince is dragged in for a legdrop of his own but Undertaker cracks Hogan with the chair. The chokeslam (better but still bad) is enough for the pin and the title.

Rating: D. The best thing they could have done here was keep this pretty short (about twelve and a half minutes) instead of having either guy out there for the marathons they had back at Backlash. Undertaker is a shell of his glory days at this point but he’s WAY ahead of Hogan and isn’t as likely to embarrass himself in the ring. Boring and familiar is much better than the nightmare that was watching a Hogan match so this was the only possible call in the options they had.

Vince is happy and Undertaker gets in some more chair shots for revenge to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. There’s an important lesson to be learned here: as bad as WWE can be around this time, there is good stuff worth checking out. Van Dam vs. Guerrero, the Cell match, Austin vs. Flair/Show and Edge vs. Angle were all good to very good matches. That’s half the card and a big chunk of the show that can be considered entertaining. Unfortunately there’s everything else and that stuff starts at horrible and goes downhill from there. I don’t think this changes much about TV going forward but at least we had a good two hour and forty minute show to enjoy.

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