Starrcade 1988
Date: December 26, 1988
Location: Norfolk Scope, Norfolk, Virginia
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Bob Caudle

We’re firmly in the Horsemen era here with the main event being Luger vs. Flair for the title in what is considered their best match of their seemingly never ending series. There’s an interesting story to that which I’ll get to at the end of the review. Since this is NWA time there are only seven matches and 6 of them get over ten minutes and 5 of them get over 15 minutes.

That was one thing you could count on in this era: nice long matches. The only other thing you need to know about here is the Varsity Club, a group of guys that were “amateur stars” (most of them were but not all of them. Picture a Jack Swagger stable) who are the upper midcard heel group. They’re around a lot here. Let’s get to it.

Kevin Sullivan and Mike Rotunda (members of the Varsity Club) say they’ll beat Rick Steiner (former member of the Club) and Rotunda will keep the TV Title. Rotunda cannot talk that well. Oh this is actually part of the preshow.

Steiner apparently got electrocuted and can’t remember how to talk that well. Yeah this was a weird time. He has a face painted on his hand named Alex. Ok every gimmick can’t be a Horseman. This show is on a Monday actually, but the Sunday was Christmas Day so the thinking is correct here I guess.

Standing highlight package of the matches tonight opens us up, with the highlight being Dusty, who had his eye stabbed by the heel turning Road Warriors, says “make sure you take both eyes, both limbs, both hearts, both ears etc.” See an issue there?

Tony Schiavone is the host and has a true mustache going on. Magnum TA is with him and isn’t even 30 years old at this point. Such a shame.

US Tag Titles: Varsity Club vs. Fantastics

Kevin Sullivan and Steve Williams here. Williams is an absolute monster who is far more famous in Japan than he is here. Sullivan is listed as being from Singapore. Ok then. Rogers and Fulton (the Fantastics) are an incredibly underrated team as this era was dominated by teams like the Road Warriors, the Horsemen, the Rock N Roll Express and the Midnight Express. This is a shame as they really were good.

Sullivan and Fulton start us off and Fulton hits a Thesz Press off the top for a fast two. Williams comes in and things slow way down. And Jason Hervey is here to just tick me off. Why did he have to ALWAYS get some quick camera time? The champions use their speed and tandem offense to work on Williams’ arm. Nice double monkey flip by the champions but Fulton gets caught in a gorilla press where Williams literally throws Fulton in the air about 6 times in a row. He had SCARY power.

Williams is 27 here which is scary. Fulton gets a headlock on him and Williams is just like screw that and hits a suplex to counter. He’s almost the Brock Lesnar of his era actually. Sullivan comes back in to give the champions a chance. Williams comes back in and just ends the Fantastics before tagging back out. Ok so he didn’t as Sullivan was just being a jerk.

Rogers gets a sunset flip for two on Williams and that’s about it. Back to Fulton who locks in a big old bearhug that the heel has to resort to the thumb to the eye to get out of. Both guys tag but the face one isn’t seen. Who cares about that though? We go from five minutes gone by to ten in less than 4 minutes so I’m betting on a clip in there somewhere. Actually it’s been about 10 minutes since the match started so maybe the five minute call was late.

Sullivan misses something from the top and Williams is tagged and just MAULS Rogers. This guy is awesome. The heels are tagging incredibly fast in this match. In about 12 minutes we’ve seen at least 8 or 9 tags from them so far which is a tonw hen you think about it. It’s also a ton when you don’t think about it but you get what I mean. Rogers gets a dropkick to send Williams reeling but Sullivan stops the tag.

A pair of double stomps to the ribs of Rogers gets two. Rogers jumps over Sullivan to get the tag to Fulton. We hit fifteen minutes (the ring announcer says this and I figure it helps give an idea of how much we’ve gotten through) and the champions both get sleepers on. Fulton goes for the Thesz Press but Williams catches him in a Hot Shot for the pin and the titles.

Rating: B-. Good match here with Williams being shown off as an absolute ANIMAL. The Fantastics, who were a very good if not great tag team had nothing to stop him with and lost the titles because of him. Sullivan might as well have been a ham and bacon sandwich on the side here as it was so much a one man team out there. Nice opener and the fans seemed into it.

Tony and Magnum run down the rest of the card and we get their predictions.

Midnight Express vs. Midnight Express

No that’s not a typo. Over the years there have been a LOT of people in the Midnight Express but originally they were a tag team comprised of Randy Rose and Dennis Condrey. This evolved into a team of Condrey and Bobby Eaton. In one of the strangest stories in wrestling history, Condrey disappeared for a year. I don’t mean storyline disappeared. I mean no one from his boss to his friends to his wife knew where he was for 12 months. Then one day he popped up in the AWA and reformed the original Midnight Express with Rose. To this day he’s never explained what happened.

Anyway, Eaton had gotten a new partner, Stan Lane, and made the new Midnight Express. Rose and Condrey came to the NWA to jump the new Express during a squash. Their manager: Paul E. Dangerously (Heyman). The new team is managed by longtime manager Jim Cornette and amazingly are faces which is very rare for them. They jump the originals (remember: Rose and Condrey are the originals and Lane and Eaton are the new ones in case you get confused) and clear the ring to start us off. This should be awesome.

Cornette wants Dangerously and of course grabs the mic to say he wants him. Oh hey let’s introduce the teams. Both teams are billed from the Dark Side which is kind of awesome. The new guys clear the ring one more time just to get their point across. Cornette is WAY fired up here. He points at Heyman and dances like a chicken. The fans are eating this up to put it mildly.

Rose and Lane start us off. Rose goes to the floor and Cornette BLASTS him with the tennis racket. He’s absolutely stealing the show here. Teddy Long is the referee and has hair. We FINALLY get the regular stuff going and it’s all new guys. Cornette pops Rose with the racket one more time and the fans are eating it up. Heyman, in his pink shirt, is losing his mind.

Lane comes in and throws his kicks which were always awesome. The originals haven’t been on offense whatsoever here. Condrey gets in like four punches and then gets his head kicked some more. Rose gets in a bit of offense and so much for that. Even jobbers get better offense in than this. Caudle is having audio difficulties. The heels FINALLY take over on Eaton.

Dangerously sneaks in a shot and Cornette SPRINTS after him in a funny bit. We hit the chinlock and get a Bear Bryant reference of all things. Heel dominance ensues for awhile as this is pure 80s formula stuff. While that sounds bad, given the people in there, as in the teams that partially invented it, this is solid stuff. Rocket Launcher misses and Cornette is “tapping like a drunk man”. We hit fifteen minutes and Lane gets the hot tag to a nice pop.

Enziguri puts Condrey down but Heyman gets a shot with his phone. Cornette FINALLY gets his hands on Heyman and lands a decent punch on him. Condrey goes for the cover but Long sees the phone and won’t count it. Lane gets behind Rose and Eaton hits a clothesline (Ross shouts DOUBLE GOOZLE, which is a nickname for a chokeslam and makes no sense at all) to send Rose over Lane for the pin.

Rating: B. More solid tag stuff here with the fans loving all of it. This feud would continue until Condrey just left and Rose was fired also because no one cared about him without Condrey. This was a solid match as expected with classic 80s tag wrestling at its finest. Why would I have expected anything different? Fun stuff and a very good match.

Post match the originals beat up everyone, mainly Cornette. Eaton gets up and gets the racket for the save. Crowd was INSANE for this whole thing.

Magnum talks to the new US Champions and points out the obvious: Williams made the difference. The Club complains about Steiner for later.

Russian Assassins vs. Junkyard Dog/Ivan Koloff

Well you knew it couldn’t be good the whole time. Also notice the INSANE emphasis on tag wrestling with a total of four out of seven matches here being tag matches. The Assassins are just numbered 1 and 2 with 2 being ECW’s Jack Victory. If the non Russians win then Paul Jones, their manager, has to leave the NWA. Koloff is only famous for stopping Sammartino’s legendary world title reign that lasted over seven years.

No real way to tell the Assassins apart so I’m not going to really try to. Dog with a cradle gets zero to start. Ah ok that’s #1 in there. #2 appears to be fatter. That helps a little. Ah and the other stipulation is that the Russians have to unmask. Is there any benefit for them winning here? Koloff sends #2 in and grabs him by the throat to take him down in what could be called the chokeslam’s half uncle by marriage once removed I guess.

Clothesline from the middle rope puts #2 down. Ah apparently that was a Russian Sickle. How could I be so stupid? He curled his arm up slightly. The Dog comes in to cheers so loud you can barely understand the audio. For the life of me I’ve never gotten his appeal. The heels take over on JYD and one of them kicks him in his boneyard. Some double team move misses and both guys are down.

Ivan vs. #1 now. Jones is on the apron and the heels are slammed into each other. Big old brawl now that is boring. There’s the Sickle again which of course is a clothesline but one of the Assassins puts something in his mask and rams his head into Ivan’s for the pin.

Rating: D. Well at least it was short. Total nothing match here with nothing special about it. Other than the JYD’s hot tag there was nothing the crowd got into at all. With that many stipulations in there it was very unlikely for the faces to win which was expected too. This more or less went nowhere at all and had one good thing going for it: it’s the match on the show that didn’t break 10 minutes.

Jim and Bob talk about the show so far for any viewers that missed the first third of the show I suppose.

TV Title: Mike Rotunda vs. Rick Steiner

This is a big old grudge match. Sullivan is in the cage above the ring. Rotunda has held the title for about a year now and is considered to be unbeatable in 20 minutes, which is the max a TV Title match can go. Steiner was thrown out of the Varsity Club where he was more or less considered too stupid to mean anything. They treated him as their lackey for months until he went nuts and hit one of the best belly to belly suplexes ever to just kill Rotunda. He would bring in some dude named Scott to help him in this war. Pretty sure they never went anywhere.

They slug it out early on and Rotunda is out of his game there so he hits the floor. Steiner goes off with some basic wrestling moves and Rotunda has nothing. Long headlock sequence follows with Rick dominating. Rick has dedicated this match to his mother. I think we know what’s coming here. All Steiner so far as Rotunda runs and hides. He keeps pulling Rick’s hair to no avail. We go to the mat and once again Rick controls.

Rick bites his tights in a hammerlock just to be funny I guess. The next PPV is in February. What’s it called? Where is it? Who cares apparently. Rotunda FINALLY gets a suplex to….never mind he’s back on defense already. We’re over seven minutes into this and Rotunda has hit a total of a suplex, a headlock and a drop toehold. He hits the floor to stall and nothing of note is going on here.

The crowd thinks Syracuse (Rotunda’s school) sucks. Steiner goes for a big old clothesline but hits the floor at the ten minute mark. Rotunda gets a long chinlock and uses the ropes to cheat, drawing solid heat. Little things like those can go a long way. And we have no commentary now. After a brief Steiner comeback we hit that chinlock again. Sunset flip a few seconds later gets two.

We hit the fifteen minute mark meaning there are five to go, drawing loud boos. Rick starts the comeback with a Steinerline. Ah there’s Ross again. Steiner beats the heck out of Rotunda and here comes Steve Williams. Belly to belly connects but Williams rings the bell. Teddy Long thinks the time is up but here comes senior referee Tommy Young because Rotunda has done this to steal a win before.

The referees talk and Sullivan is let down. He argues with Young and Rotunda punches Steiner. Steiner shoves Rotunda into Sullivan and they bang heads. Steiner jumps on Rotunda and both referees count three to absolutely blow the roof off the place. This would be like Virgil beating DiBiase as Steiner FINALLY shuts up Rotunda and beats him at his own game after being told he was too stupid to do anything right. Steiner’s celebration is awesome beyond belief. Look it up as it’s incredible.

Rating: C-. Match was pretty meh but the ending is just straight up awesome. Steiner would lose the title back in February but this was the moment that EVERYONE wanted to see and they delivered perfectly on it as Steiner had him twice and actually got the pin on the second time. Just an awesome moment that is reminiscent of Foley winning the title. I loved this and it worked very well.

Tony and Magnum talk some more.

US Title: Barry Windham vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Windham is champion and a Horseman. Bigelow had left WWF shortly after Mania so he’s wildly popular here. Bigelow shoves him around to start and is just MAD over. He gets Windham in a Fireman’s Carry and drops to his knees for a modified gutbuster. This is back when Bigelow could still go very well and Windham was one of the best in the world so this is far better than it sounds.

We get into a power match and Bigelow starts no selling shots. BIG old gorilla press and Windham is rocked. The fans are really into Bigelow here, even at a rate that surprises me. He gets a dropkick that sends Windham to the floor, making JJ want a DQ. See that’s what a manager is supposed to do. He did something so simple like that but it got heat on both him and his man and at the same time didn’t take anything away from the match because Barry was still down. It also keeps the fans from being taken out of the match by giving them a little something to tide them over. It’s so simple yet so effective.

Windham makes a small comeback and thrown Bigelow to the floor, hurting the big man’s knee. We hit the ten minute mark and it’s a back and forth match. Bigelow hits the slingshot splash, one of his finishers, and lets Windham up. He goes up top and misses the splash completely. Windham takes his head off with a BIG old lariat and Bigelow is in trouble.

Very nice belly to back suplex takes Bigelow down again. Dillon wants the Claw (Windham’s finisher) and there it is. After that is broken by the ropes we get a slam by the champion at the 15 minute mark. Windham misses a top rope elbow and the fans are WAY into this. Bigelow makes his big overblown comeback with the big wild swings. Bigelow goes for a back drop over the top but his knee gives out and we’re both on the floor. Windham sends him into the post and it’s a countout.

Rating: B-. FAR better than I expected here with a white hot crowd. Bigelow could go back in the day and this was no exception. This was a solid match and the countout finish is probably the only thing holding it down. The match isn’t a classic or anything but it’s a lot of fun with Bigelow being over dramatic about everything (in a good way mind you) and Windham being himself. Solid and fun match.

Steiner talks about winning the TV Title and is very confused about a lot of things. He was still a comedy character at the time but a very lovable one. Magnum says a lot of people are going to be coming after Steiner for the title and Rick seems shocked by this idea. After almost freaking out over the concept that people will be coming after his title, Rick calms down instantly and says “eh I’ll beat them.” Much funnier than it sounds.

World Tag Titles: Sting/Dusty Rhodes vs. Road Warriors

BIG blood feud here. The Warriors turned heel and destroyed both of these guys recently (prompting Dusty to botch a blade job and nearly cut his head off, getting fired) before winning the tag titles for the first time ever in a glorified squash over the Midnight Express. The problem was they were so insanely popular and such tough guys that they were turned face again anyway, much like Orton recently.

It’s weird seeing no name graphics for these guys. Something you just get used to in the modern product I guess. Ok so the Road Warriors get them but not the challengers. Ok then. They’re called the Legion of Doom: the Road Warriors here, which is a common thing back in the 80s. Sting and Animal start us off. Dusty is allegedly a power guy. What power? The power of hunger? Sting goes after Animal’s arm and Dusty gets a nice pop when he comes in.

Ah the soon to be named Chi-Town Rumble has a date now. Rhodes’ fat is a sight to behold, although certainly not in a positive way. Hawk in now and he just beats Sting up to a solid pop, doing what we would call stomping a mudhole. It’s weird seeing Sting treated like a jobber like this. A gorilla press into a hot shot is no sold which is weird indeed but it sets up a HUGE dive from the top to the aisle onto Animal. That was SWEET.

Five minutes in now. Dusty of course, rather than going after the arm that Sting spent three minutes working on, goes for the knee because he’s a fat slob that WILL use his stupid figure four. Test of strength between Hawk and Dusty but Dusty suckers him in and of course, goes for the figure four. Hawk wants the eye that he almost put out of Dusty because he’s EVIL.

Dusty starts his fat man dancing stuff as I wonder what Dashing Cody Rhodes would think of his fatness. Dusty goes for a “dropkick” and does indeed drop when he tries it. Dusty plays Ricky Morton in a weird bit and we get a sleeper. Hot tag to Sting and house is rapidly cleaned. Scorpion on Animal but Hawk kicks him in the head. He sends Sting over the top and I can see the finish coming. Top rope cross body by Sting but Ellering pulls the referee out for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Pretty boring match here but the crowd helped it out a lot. These were four very popular guys and that aspect carried the match. Dusty was gone soon thereafter due to his initial booking of the main event and the blade job, sending him into polka dot world. This was a basic super team tag match that didn’t go anywhere but I’ve seen far worse ones.

NWA World Title: Ric Flair vs. Lex Luger

If Flair gets disqualified he loses the title. Ok before I get into this match, here’s the original booking for this show. The idea was to have the Varsity Club jump Luger before the show and injure him. Luger would give his title shot to Rick Steiner of all people, because you know, wrestlers can decide title shots at the biggest show of the year. Steiner would proceed to beat Flair to win the world title IN FIVE MINUTES. Imagine say Eric Young beating AJ Styles in five minutes for the world title completely clean. This match goes over 30 minutes and is borderline classic, so it’s pretty clear that Flair, the new booker, got it right. His next idea was to sign this guy named Steamboat. I think you know the rest.

Luger is the insanely popular young gun and Flair is the evil veteran. You can’t beat that really. It didn’t hurt that other than Sting, Luger might have had the best chemistry with Flair in big matches. Luger has dropped a few pounds for speed and endurance. We get a WOO to start and Flair plays mind games. Flair starts the chops and Luger just drills him with a clothesline to send him to the floor.

Lou Thesz is here. In a surprising spot, Luger gets knocked down by a shoulder block. Gorilla press sends Flair to the floor and another one has Flair in trouble. Luger works on the back which makes sense here as his finisher is a backbreaker. Five minutes in and Luger controls firmly. Luger works on the arm and is apparently hard as a rock at this point for some reason. Chop is no sold and Flair runs.

Flair Flop as Luger has shifted to the arm. He’s working on it for awhile at least though so I can’t complain as much. Flair taps but it doesn’t mean anything for about another 5 or 6 years. The eternally awesome thumb to the eye takes Luger down though and Flair goes into his routine. The chops just tick Luger off though and Luger chases him to the floor where he works on the arm by wrapping it around the railing.

Ten minute mark now. Delayed vertical suplex and Flair is rocked. Luger’s big elbow misses though as it tended to do every single time. We hit the floor with Flair in control for a change. Flair and Young (referee) get into it in the ring which was always a semi-feud which was rather cool. Fifteen minutes in and Flair is finally waking up a bit. Big knee drop “hits” Luger. That move was one of the moves that clearly missed more often than ever before.

The chops tick Luger off once again and here we go again. Flair keeps chopping like an idiot and gets caught in a sleeper to a ROAR. Flair escapes with a belly to back and goes up top. Rather than your typical slam off there he gets a suplex instead for two. And now Luger puts Flair in the figure four just to mess with his mind even though he’s worked on Flair arm and back the whole time so this is really just to be a jerk. We hit 20 minutes.

Luger accidentally hits Young and Flair fires him over the top which should give Luger the title. Luger comes back with a cross body of all things off the top for two because JJ had the referee. Ten punches in the corner and Luger takes over. Another suplex and Luger calls for the Rack. More softening up first and NOW we set for the Rack. JJ distracts the referee though and Flair gets a chair shot into the knee of Luger.

Flair goes for the knee and we get to see some of Luger’s awesome selling. This is the part where both guys are basically awesome. Twenty five minutes in now. Figure Four goes on (the wrong leg of course as was Flair’s trademark) and Luger begins his best orgasm impression. The fans get way behind Luger which is saying a lot as we’re in Flair country here. Luger Hulks Up and shows off his arms which are supposed to scare Flair I guess.

Reversal and the hold is broken. More knee work and Flair goes up again. There’s the slam and Flair is rocked again. It’s Superman comeback time and here comes Luger. Sunset flip gets two. Luger’s selling of the knee is awesome here. We hit the thirty minute mark and a clothesline gets two for the challenger. Crisp powerslam hits and Luger calls for the Rack. There is finally is but Luger’s knee buckles underneath him and Flair falls on top, throwing his feet on the rope for the pin.

Rating: A. This was a GREAT match with both guys controlling for long periods of time. These two were always good for a very solid match and this was no exception. Flair was great here as the heel that simply would not lose while Luger played the Superman role perfectly. The knee being the deciding factor in the end was a very nice touch as no matter how hard he tried Luger just couldn’t get to the finish line. Excellent match with a very good story being told and well worthy of a major show’s main event.

The announcers all talk about the match and how awesome Flair is. They talk about how great Luger is and how great he could wind up being and he’s right. We can hear the announcer talking about a Bunkhouse Stampede Battle Royal which was a dark match won by Junkyard Dog.

Magnum is with Flair. I wonder if he’s thinking that belt should be mine. Flair goes on a long rant about how awesome he is but is drowned out by the announcement for the battle royal. That was Luger’s LAST shot of course.

Tony talks about how great the NWA is as we fill in time. Literally he says stuff and then Ross and Caudle just say how great the company is. A highlight package ends the show.

Overall Rating: B+. Rather good show here with everything working rather well. There’s only about one bad match on the whole show and it’s like 7 minutes long. The main event is well worth seeing and the crowd is a traditional white hot NWA 80s crowd. This is completely different from the stuff you would be seeing in WWF at the time and really does work as an alternative to it. I had a good time with this show, but unfortunately it’s the last good Starrcade in the traditional sense for a LONG time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

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Date: May 7, 1989
Location: Nashville Municipal Auditorium, Nashville, Tennessee
Attendance: 5,200
Commentators: Jim Ross Bob Caudle

Well this is here because of one main reason and a few unimportant minor ones. The main one of course is the World Title match between Flair and Steamboat. Flair had dropped the title to Steamboat back in February at Chi-Town Rumble. There was a rematch at the sixth Clash where there was a one hour time limit in a 2/3 falls match.

They split the first two and Steamboat got a suplex for the pin to end it but Flair’s foot had been under the rope, resulting in this final blowoff match that is called the greatest match ever. I think that’s good enough reasoning to do this don’t you? Other than that there’s nothing at all special going on here. Let’s get to it.

I was lucky enough to find a recording of the original PPV meaning no clipping and I get the FULL preshow. For the sake of time I’ll skip that here but there are some interviews and basically just people talking about the matches. Free bonus material so I can’t complain here.

The opening is a very fast montage of people in matches tonight and then a picture of the logo with a banjo. Oh great.

Oddly enough when Jim and Bob are doing the intros they don’t put a graphic up for Jim. Most odd.

The Oak Ridge Boys sing the National Anthem.

Ross tells us that there will NOT be a hair vs. hair stipulation in the US Tag Title match. The NWA has decided against this as apparently WE WRESTLE in the NWA so gimmicks can’t be used. This would of course be just over one year before the Robocop show and about 30 minutes before the bullrope match.

We run down the card in order that it will air.

Doug Gilbert vs. Great Muta

Gilbert is a substitute for Junkyard Dog who likely found a larger group of people to annoy. This is back when Muta was blowing the minds of everyone on the planet as no one had ever seen anything like him. Muta Mist to the face to start and let the pain begin. Gilbert is rather sloppy to put it mildly. He’s from Tennessee so he’s the hometown boy here. Handspring elbow connects and this is more or less a squash. Moonsault misses, pescado hits, moonsault hits perfectly to end this. Nearly total squash.

Rating: N/A. Total dominance here with nothing from Gilbert that gave Muta anything to worry about. Muta was flat out amazing and his feud with Sting was coming soon which would be absolutely epic.

Lance Russell talks to Ric Flair which causes the 80s to explode. Flair says Steamboat is the best wrestler in the world, but to be the man you got to beat the man, and the man is Flair. So basic yet so effective.

Butch Reed vs. Ranger Ross

Oh what are you expecting here? Ross more or less is just a run of the mill soldier character. Ross does Rude’s hip swivel for no apparent reason. Ross takes him down to start as we may be in for a more competitive match than I thought. They look a lot alike so it’s a bit hard to tell them apart other than their tights. Reed finally takes over as he’s far from popular.

Long is here even though he didn’t have any guys at this point. Doom was on the way I guess. Reed uses a knee lift that literally does not hit Ross but who cares about that? We hit the chinlock which isn’t around the chin or actually locked but why nitpick I guess. They botch the heck out of something and go with a headlock as Ross uses various strikes to send Reed to the floor.

They punch on the floor a bit so Reed kicks him in the head as he’s coming back in. All Reed here as they mess up a suplex back in. A top rope shoulder block where Ross was too close so he more or less got destroyed to end it. Not much at all here.

Rating: F. No point, dull match, ton of botches, what else do you expect?

Luger says he’ll beat Michael Hayes.

Dick Murdoch vs. Bob Orton

This is a bullrope match and Murdoch is Captain Redneck. I give up. You can win by pin here. This is boring already and we’re not a minute into it. Nothing but punching for the most part. The story is that Gary Hart, Orton’s manager, did some evil business deals and Murdoch went after him, resulting in him getting his head kicked in by Orton. Here you go.

Orton controls then Murdoch punches him in the balls just to be a jerk. Murdoch hits him with the boot as this is rather boring to put it mildly. A few more boot shots get two. Murdoch finally hogties him and drops an elbow for the pin. For the love of crap SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT THE POINT OF THESE MATCHES ARE!

Rating: F. It was like 4 minutes long and I have no idea who the face was supposed to be. I can’t stand these southern boys matches where there’s some idiot cowboy dude out there and he wants to treat the other guy like a cow. HATE these things.

Orton hangs Murdoch afterwards and no one cares.

Hayes says he’ll beat Luger. Hayes is a glorified jobber and Luger is more or less the next guy to challenge Flair for the world title. This should be a total squash which was common back then on PPV in midcard title matches.

Samoan Swat Team vs. Dynamic Dudes

This is the Dudes’ debut I think. They’re skateboarders and no one could stand them. Both guys deny being part of the team today as even they get how stupid it was. The Swat Team are the Headshrinkers. The announcers keep talking about how awesome the Dues are. Dangerously manages the Samoans here and we start with Johnny Ace vs. Rikishi. What a great sounding match.

Shane comes in and Fatu drops down to avoid something but Shane dives behind him anyway. Was there a point to that? Nice dropkick by the ECW Dude. They double team Fatu and nothing much is going on here. And then Samu kicks the heck out of Johnny to take over. Ross says they’re like caged animals. You know I don’t think caged animals often wear tights and pound on professional wrestlers named Johnny.

Samu uses a leg whip. What kind of wild savage uses a leg whip? Johnny gets beaten down for a good while as we hit five minutes. We get heel miscommunication but Johnny still can’t make the tag. You can tell he’s in trouble when he can’t get a tag even with that. We hear again about how amazing the Dudes are from Caudle as I think he has a shrine to them somewhere.

Johnny tries to face plant Fatu like an idiot but for some reason it works. He can’t make the tag though as he’s a foot away but just misses it. Fatu uses a Boston Crab, allowing Paul E to grab the mic and say that Johnny is as useless as a Nashville woman. Shane finally comes in and that doesn’t get him anywhere. Fatu goes to slam Shane but Johnny gets a dropkick off the top for Shane to fall on top and get the pin.

Rating: C-. It’s about as formula based as you could get here but at the same time there was absolutely nothing special going on here at all. The Dudes were just annoying and the Samoans were just generic big men. This was ok at best but compared to the other tag teams going on at the time, this was nothing. Not a horrible match though.

Video about Steamboat vs. Flair set to Final Countdown. The highlights are cool if nothing else. It’s a music video set to Europe singing Final Countdown, but pretty cool.

The Oak Ridge Boys perform for FIFTEEN MINUTES. Dang Kid Rock has nothing on them. Ok so he does but this was still a waste of time.

Lance Russell is with Lou Thesz, Pat O’Connor and Terry Funk, the three judges for the world title match tonight. I’ve never heard Pat or Lou talk. Funk is young looking here. This is before his hardcore days started. They give their criteria to the winner.

US Title: Lex Luger vs. Michael Hayes

This would be like Cena vs. Miz two years ago. Hayes is the career tag team guy that says he can do it without help. Luger is the hottest thing in the world not named Sting. Both guys in blue here which is kind of a weird look. Hayes stalls a lot to open the match as he tries to frustrate Lex. Hayes was Luger’s partner for no apparent reason and then turned on him because he’s a natural heel.

Teddy Long is here again for no adequately explained reason. Hayes gets slapped and stalls again. He comes back in, gets slammed and hits the floor again. Five minutes gone and Hayes has stalled more than a broken down truck. Hiro Matsuda, a big time heel manager, is here too. Luger works on the arm to take away the DDT which makes sense.

The idea here is Hayes does basic stuff, it doesn’t work, Luger pounds on him for a bit, Hayes stalls and cheats then we start again. Ten minutes in and Hayes has a chinlock. Hayes gets in a nice left hand and a bulldog for two. Matsuda sends Luger into the railing as Luger is in trouble. Bulldog is blocked by Luger and the crowd pops big.

Luger goes nuts again with a bunch of slams and clotheslines. The Rack is reversed though and Hayes gets the DDT to shock the crowd. No cover though so we slug it out. They hit heads and the referee goes down. One of the Freebirds comes down and puts Hayes on Luger and shoves Luger’s foot off the ropes to allow Hayes to win the title as the crowd is SILENT. This was legitimately a shock, up there with Sheamus beating Cena for the title at TLC.

Rating: D+. The match sucked but the ending brings it up a good bit. This was far too long at over 16 minutes but it wasn’t completely worthless. Luger would get the title back in just over two weeks and hold it for about a year and a half so it’s not like this meant anything long term. Pretty weak match but the ending helped it a lot.

Sting is all fired up.

TV Title: The Iron Sheik vs. Sting

Sheik doesn’t even get an intro. Sting’s pop is just ridiculous. He had a cool entrance where this army of kids would run through the curtain before he came out. He’s the hottest thing in the world and would be for a very long time. Sheik’s other dude hits Sting with a flag pole and Sheik pounds on him a bit. Take a guess how long this works. The match ends in maybe two minutes with Sheik tapping. This was the norm for Sting for a long time as he wasn’t ready for Flair yet but he was way bigger than anyone else so it was all they had for him.

Steamboat talks about how great this is going to be and that no matter if he wins or loses he’ll shake Flair’s hand and good luck. Very classy here as this was far more about respect than hatred which helped it a great deal I think.

NWA World Heavyweight Championship: Ric Flair vs. Ricky Steamboat

Flair brings out FORTY women with him. That’s not an exaggeration either. No one can say he can’t make an entrance. Steamboat brings his wife and his son on a freaking pony. Dude, he got his son a pony. How awesome is that? The judges are introduced which is a really great idea. Thesz is a six time world champion which back then was a seemingly unbreakable record although Flair is a five time one here.

Basically everyone knows this is going to absolutely amazing but the question is will it be the best match ever as most people have made it out to be. It’s considered the best match ever, so let’s get to it. They feel each other out a lot as it’s a chess match so far. Big armdrag by Steamboat as the cameraman is filming the fans. We’re going to get updates from the judges every fifteen minutes.

Flair chops the tar out of Steamboat so Steamboat chops the tar out of Flair. The challenger goes to the floor after some SICK chops from both guys. Steamboat works the arm to set up his double chickenwing that he made Flair submit to back in April. I love those armdrags. In an impressive moment, Flair is getting his arm cranked and managed to tell a fan to keep their mouth shut.

And that is why Flair was able to stay where he did for so long. He played to the crowd so well. Little things like those are what separates great people from ok ones. By doing things like those or putting his feet on the ropes for a pin he ticks people off just a little bit more so that you want to see him lose just a little bit more. It may not sound like much but it adds up.

More arm work from the Dragon as Flair is in trouble. They chop it out again and Flair is rocked. Back to the arm as you have the pure psychology there. Steamboat knows he can get Flair to submit to an arm hold so why would you go away from that? Flair uses the good arm to get a fireman’s carry and put Steamboat on the top which fails for some reason. Flair is dropkicked to the floor and doesn’t want to get back in.

An elbow misses by Flair so it’s right back to the armbar. We’re about fifteen minutes in and we’re getting the first scores from the judges: Steamboat is definitely ahead and it’s unanimous. Steamboat goes insane again and chops Flair half to death. He sends him to the corner and we get a Flair flip but he gets caught in the Tree of Woe. Steamboat, ever the gentleman, pounds away at the ribs and chest.

Mostly Steamboat here as Flair is just trying to stay in there. We hit the fifteen minute mark and Flair sends Steamboat to the floor but it was momentum so it’s NOT a DQ. I can’t stand that rule but WCW kept it for years. On the floor and they chop it out again with Flair trying to get away. Steamboat climbs the ropes (not in the corner mind you) and comes off with a big chop. Flair Flip gets chopped down as well as it’s all Steamboat.

Back to the arm one more time as Flair’s arm is killing him here. Steamboat misses a charge and goes over the top as well. Flair drops a knee as you get a shot of a BIG tarped off section in the back. The referee goes down by accident as Flair controls now. Belly to back gets two. About twenty minutes in now. Another knee drop and a butterfly suplex get two each.

Flair keeps cradling the head on covers for some reason. That’s not something he tends to do but he’s doing it for every cover here. Suplex on the floor has Steamboat rocking. We get some new results from the judges as it’s 2-1 for Flair which is kind of stupid as Flair has controlled for about 15 minutes and Flair for about 8. Steamboat has 4 total votes to Flair’s 2 which Ross says puts him ahead. Was there supposed to be a total or something?

Steamboat gets a rollup for two but both guys go to the floor and everyone is down. On a countout we go to the judges which apparently would go to Steamboat at 4-2. Ok so apparently these points do indeed count. Flair goes up and of course gets slammed down and here comes Steamboat. Crowd is way into this if you didn’t guess that part.

Suplex off the middle rope rocks Flair again and here comes Steamboat. He goes for the chickenwing but Flair gets his feet in the ropes before it goes on. He hits a top rope chop but Flair hits the ropes the second time to send Steamboat to the floor and Ricky has a bad knee now. After some basic knee stuff, there’s the Figure Four to a big pop.

We’re thirty minutes in and Steamboat is in big trouble. Rope is grabbed though and Flair stays on the leg. BIG chop in the corner has Steamboat in big trouble. Steamboat throws chops and Flair pounds the knee. Enziguri connects and here comes Steamboat again. He goes for a slam, and in a GREAT nod to Steamboat, Flair rolls him up into a small package for the pin and the title.

Rating: A+. It’s a great match indeed. I’m not entirely sold on it being the greatest match of all time, but this was indeed great and worked all the way through the thirty minutes. This was two guys being allowed to perform out there and it worked as well as it could have. Excellent match and definitely one of the best ever, but I’m not sure if it’s the greatest. Doesn’t matter though obviously as it’s great.

Steamboat shakes his hand and Flair says Steamboat is the greatest champions he’s ever faced. Funk comes in and congratulates him on being the best champion, saying that if it had gone 60 minutes he would have voted Flair. Funk won’t leave and challenges Flair for the first title shot but Flair says no because he’s not an active contender.

As long as Flair has been around, apparently he’s stupid enough to tell Terry Funk that he’s not good enough. Funk says he was kidding and they hug. Naturally Funk DRILLS him and beats the living crap out of him. And then, in something that back then was huge, piledrives him on the judges’ table, which doesn’t break. Flair wouldn’t wrestle again for nearly three months, returning at the Great American Bash to face Funk, which is the next show I’m doing.

Something to note here: look at how basic this was. Flair has a great match, Funk wants a shot, Flair says no, Funk doesn’t like it and injures Flair, big match is made. WHY IS THIS SO HARD TO GET???

We go to Nikita Koloff who will be refereeing the world tag title match. Yeah there are two tag title matches left to go. The booking wasn’t your normal formula stuff back then. Nikita won’t be intimidated.

World Tag Titles: Varsity Club vs. Road Warriors

The Club is Rotunda and Williams this time. The Warriors coming out to Iron Man is still awesome stuff. It’s on while their pyro is still going off as this is a big old feud. Big boot to Rotunda and he’s in real trouble already. Koloff throws Sullivan out. The Warriors lost the titles to the Club in April at the same show as Flair vs. Steamboat II with the fastest count ever by Teddy Long which is why he was fired.

Hawk and Williams start properly here and it’s just a big brawl. Williams is completely awesome as he manhandles Hawk which isn’t something you see very often. Hawk’s arm hits the post. Double clothesline back in the ring and both guys are down. Animal comes in and destroys everyone in sight but only gets two as Williams saves.

Big old brawl but Rotunda goes to the floor. The Road Warriors do their big power stuff and it’s Doomsday Device time for Williams. Dan Spivey and Kevin Sullivan run out and take out Nikita as the champions beat up Animal. It gets thrown out as a DQ for the Warriors of course.

Rating: D. Total nothing match here but this wasn’t supposed to be anything special. The fans pop big for the win but no titles. They would never get those titles back.

US Tag Titles: Dan Spivey/Kevin Sullivan vs. Eddie Gilbert/Rick Steiner

Gilbert and Steiner are the champions here. They’re the First Family apparently despite not being related. Sullivan almost immediately goes after Hyatt as he had a thing for blondes I guess. Other than his own wife you know. Spivey sends Steiner’s shoulder into the post twice and adds a shoulderbreaker so it’s more or less 2-1 now.

Apparently Steiner was legit hurt so that explains the injury thing. It’s a glorified handicap match with Steiner not even able to get his jacket off due to how bad his arm is. Gilbert gets massacred by Spivey who throws in what we would call a Punjabi Plunge. Spivey was decent but Diesel more or less ended his career off a powerbomb. Steiner gets onto the apron.

Sullivan comes in for a second but here’s Spivey again. Gilbert gets a tag out of nowhere but the referee didn’t see it. Everything breaks down anyway though and Steiner hits a Steiner Line to Sullivan and Gilbert falls on top to keep the belts and pop the crowd like crazy. The Varsity Club beats on him some more afterwards. Gilbert saves Hyatt from Sullivan afterwards.

Rating: D. Another pointless match here other than to give the fans something to send them home happy. Nothing more than that. The titles would be stripped later in the month, I’d assume due to the injury and they would be gone for about 9 months and would be gone in less than a year and a half.

Ross says that the Varsity Club have been stripped of the world tag titles. The Freebirds would win a tournament at the next Clash to get them which I’ve already reviewed.

We replay the Funk/Flair thing to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This is the epitome of a one match show. Only the world title match is worth anything but that was how this era went for the most part. The next show would more than make up for it though as it’s considered the best WCW/NWA show of all time. That’s also the next review I’m doing. Anyway, the show isn’t worth seeing, but the Flair/Steamboat match is. That’s about it though. Get the two hour version if you really want to watch it as the full one drags A LOT.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|skbkb|var|u0026u|referrer|atdzh||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) StarCage 1985
Date: April 21, 1985
Location: St. Paul Civic Center, St. Paul, Minnesota
Commentators: Doug Cameron, Ken Resnick

We open with Verne Gagne talking about someone being behind him.

Tom Zenk/Steve Olsonoski vs. The Alaskans

Buck Zumhofe/Baron Von Raschke vs. Jimmy Garvin/Steve Regal

Not that Regal. Raschke was injured by Garvin and Zumhofe and Regal feuded over the Light Heavyweight Title for the better part of eternity. Regal has the belt here and is called Mr. Electricity. Apparently we have some tree loving hippies in the crowd as he gets booed out of the building here. Zumhofe tries to start a dance which looks more like the Tomahawk Chop. Regal argues with some fan who is apparently a regular and is rolled up for two.

Zumhofe clears the ring and the fan is the most over person on the show so far. Zumhofe and Regal officially get us going with Mr. Electricity being sent HARD into the corner. He crawls over to Garvin for a tag as things continue to be slow paced bursts of speed to start if that makes sense. Baron comes in to face Garvin and goes after the eye, which is what Garvin injured on Baron in the first place. The fans are WAY into this now so I guess this is a real blood feud.

Brad Rheingans/Bob Backlund vs. Billy Robinson/Bobby Duncum

Apparently the commentator had no idea what he was talking about and this is the real match.

Brad Rheingans/Bob Backlund vs. Larry Zbyszko/Butch Reed

Both teams say they want more.

Tonga Kid/Jim Brunzell vs. Billy Robinson/Bobby Duncum

Verne Gagne/Greg Gagne vs. Nick Bockwinkel/Masa Saito

Rating: C-. The crowd reaction for Verne really was impressive here but that seemed to be the case on every big show that he came out of retirement on. The same problems are here as they have been all match long, but at least with this one there seemed to be a real feud that people cared about. Still though, decent enough here.

Verne gets beaten down post match until Greg makes the save.

Tag Titles: Road Warriors vs. Larry Hennig/Curt Hennig

Another music video.

Sgt. Slaughter/Jerry Blackwell vs. Sheik Adnan Al-Kassie/King Tonga/Masked Superstar

Masked Superstar is Ax of Demolition, King Tonga is Haku and this is in a cage. The reason for the match? EVIL NON AMERICAN SCUM!!! Blackwell and Superstar start things off but Jerry wants the Sheik. That would be a feud that went on for almost half of the 80s. Anyway he gets King Tonga instead and the King immediately tries to escape. That gets him nowhere as Blackwell (who weighs nearly 500lbs) kills him with a clothesline.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Wrestlerock 1986
Date: April 20, 1986
Location: Metrodome, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Attendance: 23,000
Commentator: Ron Trongard

I hate you. I hate you all. This is another request because SOME IDIOT had to put the Wrestlerock Rumble video up on WrestleZone. This is the show that it was advertising. It’s another of the AWA’s stadium supershows which usually wound up sucking but why would that stop them from keeping them up? There are three cage matches to close the show so you know it’s going to be….different. Let’s get to it.

No real intro here, as is the custom on these big shows.

Brad Rheingans vs. Boris Zhukov

Boris is the same character from WWF and Brad is a former Olympian power lifter. This is going to be a power match and probably not a very good one. They exchange tests of strength to start with neither guy being able to get much of an advantage. Ok scratch that as Brad does pretty easily. Before I forget again: WHERE ARE THE PEOPLE??? There are allegedly over 20,000 people there but my goodness they did a bad job of putting them on the camera side. There might be more empty seats visible that full ones.

This is your standard power match: Brad shoves him around, Boris runs, Brad shoves him around some more, Boris runs some more. Zhukov heads to the floor and comes back to get in a knee and RUSSIA POWER takes over. That more or less concludes the interesting part of the match because Boris Zhukov is a very boring wrestler. He’s slow, he’s bald, he’s Russian. That sums up about half the heels in America at this point. Naturally since this is a big show’s opening match, Brad makes his comeback and hits his fisherman’s suplex for the pretty easy pin.

Rating: D+. The American winning over the EVIL Soviet is always a surefire way to get a crowd going and this did so for the most part. Not a good match by any means, but for about five minutes long and an opening match, what exactly were you looking for? For a power guy though, a fisherman’s suplex is a strange pick for a finisher.

Little Tokyo/Lord Littlebrook vs. Little Mr. T./Cowboy Lang

Great. Midgets. Tokyo and Lang start us off and it’s time for a headlock. Off to Littlebrooke and it’s time for an armbar. They go to a wide shot and oh my goodness that’s a stupid idea. Back to Tokyo as Lang is getting beaten down even more. Here’s a chinlock for rest hold #3 in less than 150 seconds. Lang escapes and it’s off to Little Mr. T. This is a few weeks after WM 2 and I’m sure Mr. T. being on that show is just a coincidence right?

T. does something and Trongard says look at that. Naturally that’s as we go wide to which you can only see shapes in the ring instead of what they’re doing. There goes the referee because this is a midget match. Things calm down and we have Littlebrook vs. T. There’s ANOTHER chinlock as this is going way too long. The midgets argue and this is going nowhere.

Tokyo accidentally hits Littlebrook as people are going off to get food and drinks. Lang is in and we get a crisscross. Back to T. vs. Littlebrook for another headlock. It’s clear they have no idea what to do here to fill in time because MIDGET MATCHES SHOULDN’T GO TEN MINUTES. There’s an airplane spin for both heels and the rowboat spot. Oh and the referee pile on. Lang hooks a rollup on Littlebrook for the pin, thank goodness.

Rating: F. A midget tag team match ran ten minutes and had at least 5 rest holds. What kind of a grade did you expect me to give this? Not a good match at all and the usual midget spots that you’ve seen a dozen times, none of which have made people laugh in years. Moving on.

There are a lot of “local celebrities” introduced here, usually between each match. I’m not going to bother listing them because I don’t know who they are, most likely you don’t know who they are, and I don’t really care. For instance, this one is a local horse owner. See what I mean? Almost all of them get to be guest ring announcers. That’s the show’s gimmick.

Colonel DeBeers vs. Wahoo McDaniel

We have a white supremacist vs. an American Indian. This can’t end well. DeBeers actually TWIRLS HIS MUSTACHE. We have a real villain here people. The Colonel works on the arm, then Wahoo works on the arm. Now DeBeers works on the arm. I think out of boredom, Wahoo chops at him to break it up. Colonel comes back with a knee to the head and some kicks. Coming back in they slug it out with McDaniel on the apron. Back in Wahoo goes on the warpath and throws him to the floor. Back in again and Wahoo throws him over the top for the FREAKING LAME DQ.

Rating: F+. It was somehow better than the midget match. Think about that for a minute. This was five minutes of two old guys hitting each other after some arm work and then a stupid DQ ending to it. This was horrible and the show is off to a very bad start. When a basic American vs. Soviet match is by far the best match of the night after three of them, things aren’t starting well at all.

They brawl on the floor post match in a far better sequence than they had in the match.

Go buy stuff from the souvenir stand! You can get cassettes of the WrestleRock Rumble! For those unfamiliar, that’s a wrestling version of the Super Bowl Shuffle with wrestlers “rapping” lyrics. It’s horrible.

Doug Somers and Buddy Rose are going to beat those pests the Midnight Rockers and then get the tag titles.

Doug Somers/Buddy Rose vs. Midnight Rockers

This is on Shawn Michaels: My Journey. Somers/Rose have Sherri Martel with them. Rose does his traditional thing of “it’s 217lbs, not 271lbs.” Rose and Jannetty start us off with Rose doing push-ups. Wait, still not ready for the match as Rose does a front flip and wants Jannetty to do the same. Marty tags Shawn who moonsaults in and tells Rose to do that. Rose goes up….and comes back down. Naturally they’re wasting time on a match like this which is probably going to be the best match of the show. Rose tries it AGAIN and crotches himself.

Somers and Shawn FINALLY lock up to keep us from dying of boredom. Shawn controls with an armdrag and dropkicks Somers down and it’s off to Rose. Rose tries to speed things up and I think Shawn is all cool with that, as he armdrags him down with ease. Off to Marty who jumps in and hammers down onto the arm. Rose goes for the eyes and brings in Somers who is armdragged right back down. Marty avoids a charge and Doug’s arm goes into the post.

Back to Shawn and both of them grab an arm on Somers. Back to Rose vs. Shawn and Buddy cartwheels (impressive given that gut) to avoid a monkey flip. Marty comes in and does exactly what Buddy did. We’re five minutes into this somehow. Time for Shawn again and the arm work continues. He hooks an arm stretch but Buddy gets up onto his feet to escape the pressure. Marty smacks him in the head and Rose is down again. Not a good night for them so far.

Shawn flies around even more and it’s back to Marty to drop a knee on the arm. Knee lift gets two for Shawn. FINALLY Michaels gets caught in a slingshot into the corner and Somers belts him in the face to take over. Jumping back elbow gets two for Rose. Off to Somers who whips Shawn into the corner hard.

Shawn comes back with a suplex to put both guys down. There’s the hot tag to Marty who cleans house and gets his own two off his own jumping back elbow. Powerslam gets three but the foot was on the rope. Everything breaks down and the Rockers are in control. Marty goes up for something but Somers crotches him which lets Rose pin him. Sherri pushed his foot off the ropes too.

Rating: C+. Not a bad match at all here, despite the goofy stuff to start. The arm work probably went on too long but the match itself wasn’t half bad. The ending could have used a bit more but for a big house show and the fourth match on the card, this wasn’t that bad. Sherri screwing over Shawn is kind of interesting given their future.

Somers and Rose say they’re innocent.

More “celebrities”, this one being the AD for the University of Minnesota.

Buck Zumhofe says nothing of note. Granted that might be because of the REALLY BIG FREAKING BOOM BOX he’s carrying.

Buck Zumhofe vs. Tiger Mask

This should be….different. I think it’s Misawa at this point but I’m not sure. Trongard has never seen him before so his usual horrible commentary is going to be even worse here. They go to the mat quickly with Buck grabbing an armbar. That hold is used WAY too much in this company. They exchange control of the arm and we get a standoff. Zumhofe is your classic guy who wasn’t big enough to be a heavyweight but didn’t have the speed to be a typical cruiserweight. Tiger Mask on the other hand is a master at it.

They go back to grappling and it ends in a spinning toehold by Buck as he works on the leg. This goes on for awhile, because Heaven forbid they have fast guys go to the air. That might get people interested in the show. Off to a Boston Crab which works on the back after Zumhofe spent all the time working on the knee. Eh close enough I guess. That doesn’t last long and Tiger dropkicks him down for two.

Back to the arm (oh boy!) for Tiger as he controls with an armbar after a decent wrestling sequence. A cross body and suplex get four combined which is somehow less than three in wrestling. Zumhofe goes after the mask but can’t get it off because he’s Buck Zumhofe and going after Tiger Mask’s mask. Buck goes into control by ramming Tiger’s face into the mat twice. Well you can’t say he’s overdoing it. Abdominal stretch now to really crank this up. They go to the floor and Tiger hits a nice plancha to take Buck out. Back in Mask slams him down and hits something like a Swanton Bomb for the pin.

Rating: C-. It’s not bad but at the same time Zumhofe was really boring. This would be Tiger Mask toned WAY down which isn’t using his talents as well as they could and/or should be used. Pretty dull match but it could have been FAR worse. Again, somehow this is the second best match of the night thus far and that can’t be a good thing.

The Governor of Minnesota declares it Verne Gagne Day. Not AWA Day or anything, but Verne Gagne Day.

Barry Windham and Rotunda (acknowledged as former WWF Tag Champions) say they’re ready for the Fabulous Ones.

Fabulous Ones vs. Barry Windham/Mike Rotunda

The Fabulous Ones are Steve (Skinner) Keirn and Sweet Stan Lane. The guest announcer here is another radio guy which is the case with the vast majority of them. Windham vs. Lane starts things off. The crowd has filled in a lot and it looks much better. Feeling out process to start as Barry grabs a headlock. This is back when Windham was awesome and in shape so he’s fun to watch.

Off to Rotunda and the arm work (I’m as shocked as you are) begins. Lane tries to escape a hammerlock but gets kneed in the arm instead. Back to Barry who cranks on the arm some more. Off to Keirn who is armdragged right back down. Back to Mike who works a top wristlock. Barry comes in quickly for a chinlock. Keirn tries a leapfrog but gets punched in the face for his efforts. You can’t say Barry is over complicating things.

Windham/Rotunda hit a double dropkick and Keirn is in trouble. Mike misses a corner charge and the heels take over. Things break down quickly but Rotunda can’t make a tag. After a long beating by Lane it’s back to Keirn. Lane comes in for a neckbreaker but misses an elbow. There’s the tag to Barry after a short heat segment. Powerslam gets two on Stan.

The Ones cheat again and Barry gets caught in a chinlock. We’re ten minutes into this and it hasn’t really kicked into high gear yet, which is a shame given what you have to work with here. Barry grabs a small package on Lane for two. Off to Rotunda who speeds things up and gets two on Lane. There’s an airplane spin for two. Lane backdrops him and sets for a piledriver but Barry comes off the top with an elbow to the back of the head, giving Rotunda the pin.

Rating: C. Not a great match or anything here but it was ok I guess. They never cranked this up as high as they could and that really hurt it. Also the lack of any reason for these teams or wrestlers in any match for that matter to want to fight each other is really bringing things down. If they don’t care, why should I care?

The Attorney General of Minnesota is here. Even for a local politician, why would I care about that?

Bulldog Bob Brown vs. Giant Baba

Baba is a guy I’m sure you’ve heard of and Brown is a Central States mainstay who just isn’t that good but was popular in his territory. For some reason he’s billed as a former champion (with 18 total reigns) but based on what I can find, he was champion at this point. Brown hooks a headlock to start, which is really awkward because Brown is about 6’0 tall and Baba is about Kane’s height.

Baba works on the arm but Brown rakes the eye to get out of it. Brown goes for the leg which fails completely. Baba takes him to the mat with a headscissors and works on the arm. The fans don’t care at all here. Brown hammers on him but Baba comes back with some chops. This is REALLY slow paced as they’re stopping every few seconds. A big boot puts Brown on the mat and a chop sets up a Russian legsweep which looked awful. Another big boot gets the pin.

Rating: F. This was HORRIBLE. It was slow, it was awkward, Baba wrestles nothing like a giant, and the fans had no idea who these guys were. That was the big issue with this match: it’s a Japanese guy vs. a Central States guy in front of an AWA crowd. Why would the people care at all about this match? They didn’t, and I can’t blame them at all. The match sucked too.

The GM of a TV station is introduced. Not an on air personality mind you, but the boss that NO ONE EVER SEES.

Harley Race wants an AWA Title shot.

Harley Race vs. Rick Martel

This is billed as former champion vs. former champion, which sounds SO exciting doesn’t it? Race grabs a headlock to start as is his custom but Martel whips him in and it’s time for an armbar. This is so common in this company I can’t believe it. That doesn’t last long as Race whips him in and RACE LEAPFROGS MARTEL. And I thought I had seen everything. Martel doesn’t know what to do so naturally, it’s an armdrag into an armbar.

Race takes him down again as neither guy can get a real advantage here. Headbutt sets up a chinlock which isn’t something the people seem all that interested in seeing at this point. Yep there are the boring chants. Martel gets up and there’s armbar #3 five minutes into the match. Race’s counter this time? Slam his head into Martel’s. Well you can’t say he’s not using his head. I’ll give you a minute to roll your eyes at how lame that joke was.

Powerslam gets two for Race but Martel escapes a suplex and throws on a sleeper. Does this guy know ANYTHING besides rest holds? Race rams him into the buckle and hits a neckbreaker to put Rick down. Harley goes up (not as bizarre as you would expect) but gets slammed off. Well his last major feud was with Flair so that probably has something to do with it. They slug it out a bit which should result in pain bruises and agony for Martel but instead he grabs a headlock. Martel hits a backbreaker and slingshot splash for two, which Trongard says Martel debuted five years ago in 1983. Check the date on the show.

Anyway after that warping of time and space, Race headbutts and piledrives him for two. Elbow drop gets two and it’s off to the chinlock. Race sends him into the corner and Martel tries a cross body out of the corner, but Race just casually steps to the side, ala Samoa Joe. After a brief slugout, Martel whips Race into the corner and out to the floor, but it’s not a DQ due to whatever alteration they want to make this time.

Suplex gets two for Rick back in. Shoulderbreaker and neckbreaker get two for Race. They collide and Race is knocked to the floor. He always was great at taking that backwards fall. Back in another piledriver is countered into a gutwrench suplex for two by Martel. Now Rick goes after the knee for some reason. After some knees to the leg it’s off to a leg hold but Race uses his head (as always) to escape. Race pounds on him in the corner but has his suplex countered. A splash by Martel eats knees and they go to the floor off a slam attempt. They brawl even more and it’s a double countout, two minutes before the time limit.

Rating: C+. Pretty decent match here but again the problem is that there’s no story to this. That being said, they were getting close to overcoming that with some solid back and forth stuff. At the end of the day, it’s Harley Race going 18 minutes so the match by default has to be pretty good. Martel was a WAY bigger deal in the AWA than in the WWF.

Women’s Battle Royal

There are ten girls in this and only three mean anything: Sherri Martel, Luna Vachon (didn’t mean anything yet) and Candi Divine, who was awful but was popular in the AWA. She’s also Women’s Champion here. I have no idea who most of these women are. They’re blondes in spandex. Someone is thrown out and I can’t hear Capetta, nor do I particularly care to know.

Trongard and Capetta keep calling Luna Leona by mistake. Or by lack of intelligence, I’m not sure which. Two more go out but they’re not important enough to announce. Somehow we got down to six. Luna (NOT LEONA) is gone. I think a Greek chick powerbombs Divine but it’s not important enough to talk about. The Greek chick is out and we’re down to Martel, Debbie Combs, Candi Divine and some chick that Trongard doesn’t bother naming. Divine misses a charge and we’re down to three. Her name is Joyce Grable. Ok then. Martel is knocked under the ropes, Combs throws out Grable and Martel sneaks in to steal the win.

Rating: F. I didn’t know half of the names in this. That should tell you everything you need to know.

Sherri gets fifty grand and Rose/Somers want the tag titles.

Ten minute intermission, because this show needs to be LONGER.

We’re only halfway through the card. See what I’m putting up with?

AWA America’s Title: Sgt. Slaughter vs. Kamala

Slaughter is champion and is WAY over. He’s pretty much the most popular guy in the company, which is why he never got the world title. I mean, Heaven forbid the fans decide who the top guy is. That’s one thing that needs to be remembered about the AWA: yes Vince took a lot of their talent, but it was Gagne that screwed up a lot of stuff. If he had just given the title to Hogan like the people were SCREAMING for, Hogan wouldn’t have left.

Oh yeah the match. As usual with Kamala matches, he uses REALLY boring offense like you would see from any fat guy, including but not limited to chops, something resembling punches, shots to the throat, and a stomach claw. Slaughter makes his comeback, Kamala hits him some more, Slaughter Cannon, Kim Chee runs in for the DQ. Short and nothing of note at all.

Hall and Hennig say they’ll keep the titles.

Tag Titles: Scott Hall/Curt Hennig vs. Long Riders

The Long Riders are a biker team who ride in on their motorcycles. Hall gets an award for being popular pre match. The champions won the titles in Albuquerque apparently, which is nowhere near the AWA territory, so I’m going to bet that match didn’t happen. Also the regular AWA ring announcer, Larry Nelson, is now sitting in on commentary with Trongard. The Long Riders are Scott “Hog” Irwin and Wild Bill Irwin.

Hall starts with Scott (for this match, Scott will only be used for Scott Irwin. Scott Hall will only be called Hall) as we hear about the Long Riders being made to wear wrestling gear. Apparently their biker gear has been used for EVIL and has therefore been banned. Nothing goes on here so the partners both tag off. Hennig hits a HUGE dropkick on the future Goon and we head to the floor for a chase scene. Back to Hall as the champions have been in total control the whole time so far.

Bill manages to take Hall to the mat for about two full seconds but the more famous one grabs an armbar to take over. Off to Hennig and the beating continues. Dropkick gets two as we’re five minutes in. Curt and Bill slug it out and Hennig superkicks him down for two. Bill misses a charge and an elbow drop so Hennig grabs a headlock. They get up and do a weird sequence where they’re both on their stomachs and Curt crawls at him as Bill backpedals to the floor.

Test of strength now and Hennig kind of suplexes him over for two. The Riders take over on Curt with some double teaming. They draw in Hall for some lame double teaming as we’re at ten minutes into this. More double teaming which is mainly just assisted choking. Curt avoids an elbow drop and it’s off to Hall. House is cleaned and noggins are knocked but it’s back to Hennig. Everything breaks down and Curt is sent to the floor. It doesn’t really matter though as Hall goes to the floor with Scott, allowing a missile dropkick from Hennig to retain the titles.

Rating: C-. Not bad here as there was a formula and an idea here, but the execution wasn’t that great. The Riders were a pretty weak team but it could have been far worse. Hennig was a huge deal in the AWA and would hold the world title for over a year starting in May of 87. Decent match but nothing all that great. It’s a big upgrade on the majority of the show though.

Scott hits Hennig with a boot post match. The champions complain about that for awhile.

Larry Zbyszko vs. Scott LeDoux

LeDoux was a legit boxer before becoming a referee and wrestler in the AWA. This is under “European” rules, which means they wear gloves and we have ten two minute rounds. Larry Hennig, Curt’s papa, is the referee for no apparent reason. It’s really closer to boxing than wrestling but it’s the AWA so I doubt they knew what it was supposed to be. They tease hitting each other for a bit until LeDoux grabs a full nelson. Larry escapes and Scott (what is with that name being so popular in this company?) unloads on him with punches, sending Larry to the floor.

This is actually closer to MMA (kind of almost sort of) than boxing or wrestling but whatever. Larry chills with his ninja (don’t ask) for a bit as we’re probably about halfway through the first round. LeDoux gets into a boxing stance so Larry bails to the apron. I’m shocked too. Larry picks the leg and goes to the mat which is smart. Round 1 ends with Larry in control.

Off to round 2 and Larry gets on one knee. He gets up and hits a spinning kick to the ribs. Larry climbs on his back which doesn’t work at all as LeDoux pounds on the ribs with elbows. Armdrag by Larry into an armbar but LeDoux punches him in the face. Larry pounds him in the corner and slams him for no cover. Zbyszko pounds on him to end the round.

Round 3 begins with Scott’s eye swelling shut. Larry takes him to the mat and hooks a front chancery. For the first time we’re told you win by pin or knockout. Decisions are still a gray area. Larry POUNDS HIM with punches and a kick to the ribs. Back to the mat and Larry is totally dominating him.

Round 4 starts with Larry missing a kick and LeDoux gets in a flurry to take over. For no apparent reason he grabs Larry and rams him into the corner. There’s a slam and Larry is reeling. The fans aren’t that thrilled but you can’t please everyone. They’re both getting gassed here but LeDoux clocks Larry to end the round but the bell saves him.

Larry starts round 5 bleeding and gets knocked to the floor….where he rams LeDoux into the post for the DQ 5 seconds into the round.

Rating: C-. I liked it but it wasn’t great. As usual with this show, I have no idea why they were fighting because the announcers are too busy telling us that the AWA is a national company to give us a simple story. The match was entertaining though which is really all you can ask for in something like this. Good stuff and thankfully they kept it fast paced. If this was just boxing, it would have been a disaster.

Post match LeDoux wants to kill Larry and the fans are into this for once. The Ninja jumps Scott and Larry (the referee, who did NOTHING in this match) makes the save.

LeDoux wants a rematch.

AWA World Title: Stan Hansen vs. Nick Bockwinkel

Hansen is the champion and evil here. He runs over Nelson for no apparent reason. Hansen normally works for Baba in Japan but is here as champion to give the AWA a boost. They immediately go to the floor with Hansen pounding away. Nelson immediately turns into a super Bockwinkel fan as Nick makes a brief comeback. Hansen kicks him in the face and hooks a chinlock. This is looking wild so far.

Elbow drop gets two for the champion. Bockwinkel takes over on the arm and now Stan is in trouble. Nick tries to fight back with some right hands but they get him nowhere. A sunset flip gets two as the cameraman drops the camera. Off to an armbar as Trongard tells us how great the AWA is. I haven’t mentioned it that often but he says it more often than Cole plugs Twitter. They slug it out, naturally won by Stan, and it’s time for another chinlock.

Trongard spends the entire hold on a speech about how second best isn’t acceptable in the AWA and how they have the best. YOU JUST SAID THAT TEN SECONDS AGO!!! Nick tries to come back and grabs a sleeper, one of his finishers. Hansen gets to a rope though and they fall to the floor. They slug it out a bit out there but then go back inside to punch each other (HARD) some more.

Hansen outsmarts Nick (hard to do) by suckering him into a stun gun for two. Nick blocks a suplex into one of his own for two. It gets two so Nelson says almost only counts in drive-in movies. I think I get what he means there and I don’t think I want to know if I’m right. The referee gets bumped so Bockwinkel’s slam only gets no cover. Crossbody gets the same. Piledriver gets two…and then Hansen backdrops him over the top for the LAME DQ.

Rating: B-. Why am I not surprised? This match was starting to get good and then never mind, because we need to have a screwy finish. As usual, the idea here is simple: give them something to fight over in the form of the title and have two talented guys in there and you’ll get a good match. Bockwinkel would get the title later on when Hansen said screw this nonsense and went to Japan full time.

They brawl post match until Bockwinkel chases him off with a chair. Nick says he used to cheat to keep the title but it’s not fair here.

There’s another intermission to set up the cage.

Now the last three matches are in a cage, but for some reason on the tape they’re out of order. This is in the order that they air on the tape.

Nord the Barbarian/King Kong Brody vs. Jimmy Snuka/Greg Gagne

A few notes here: Snuka is a mystery partner subbing for Jerry Blackwell (that’s for the better, trust me), this match originally went on second of the three cage matches, King Kong Brody is Bruiser Brody because of some legit complaint from Dick the Bruiser, and if Snuka/Gagne win, Verne gets 10 minutes in the cage with Sheik Adnan-Al Kaissie. This is announced as the main event, even though there could be more stuff after it. Oh and Nord the Barbarian is just called Barbarian and is more famous as the Berzerker.

Snuka gets zero fanfare at all. Gagne looks like a 1996 version of Chavo Guerrero. They have to tag here so the match is automatically dropped a few notches. Gagne starts with Brody. Greg gets in a few punches but Brody kicks him in the face, making Gagne look like he got shot. Off to Barbarian who gets punched back into his own corner. Off to Snuka for a death defying chinlock.

The match slows way down as Brody comes in and knocks Snuka down. Then they stand around. Then they stand around some more. Snuka does his leapfrogs but Brody knocks him right back down. Off to Gagne and I can’t believe I’m saying this, but it makes the match way better. If nothing else he sells everything like death which is usually a cool thing to see.

Greg gets rammed into the cage to bust him open. Good piledriver by Brody gets two. Nelson turns into an annoying fanboy again but Gagne’s comeback is shortlived. He manages to send Nord into the cage and there’s the hot tag (with a pop) to Snuka. Off to Brody who is busted open. He yells a lot as Snuka hammers away on him.

Snuka gets in Superfly position but hits a headbutt instead. Nord interferes and Snuka is in trouble again. Everything breaks down and the heels get rammed into each other. Double dropkick puts Nord down and a double suplex does the same to Brody. Snuka rams into Gagne by mistake, but Snuka gets up and dropkicks Nord who trips over Gagne and gets pinned.

Rating: D. Oh boy did they screw this up. First of all, WHERE IS THE SUPERFLY SPLASH??? You bring in Jimmy Snuka and he doesn’t even hit the move he’s legendary for in the kind of match he’s legendary for hitting it in? Second, there was way too much heel control here. The idea is supposed to be faces control to start, Gagne opens, tag to Snuka for more dominance, back to Gagne, Gagne gets beaten down, hot tag, finish.

Instead it was faces control, heels control, faces comeback, faces screw up, faces steal a win. The problem is that it doesn’t allow the fans to build up momentum. This match had the pieces of a decent match, but they were all in the wrong order which is what made it hard to stay invested in. Also the lack of a splash hurt it a lot.

Verne Gagne vs. Sheik Adnan Al-Kaissie

This has a backstory actually. The Sheik and his men broke Verne’s ribs….two years ago. They go in and Sheik automatically tries to run. Gagne slams him and Sheik’s belt is taken off. Not that it matters because the referee throws it away. Verne rams him into the cage and Sheik is busted BAD. For someone that is in a revenge match, Verne is standing around a lot. Backdrop sets up a sleeper but the Sheik breaks it up quickly. Sheik takes over but his slam is countered into a small package for the pin.

Rating: D-. Uh……WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT??? This was like 4 minutes long which is fine, but A SMALL PACKAGE IN A MATCH BASED ON REVENGE??? This should have been Verne destroying him but instead it was like two cage shots, some punches and a small package. I don’t get this at all and it was boring on top of that. Terribly stupid match.

Gagne retires again post match.

Road Warriors vs. Freebirds

Thank goodness this is the last match. This actually took place before the other tag two cage matches, but Verne had to go on last on the real card. The tape version makes him seem more humble at least. This is Hayes/Garvin. Hawk and Hayes get things going. Hayes immediately hits a piledriver which is of course no sold. Let the pain begin. Hayes goes into the cage a few times and he’s busted quickly.

Gorilla press to Hayes and Hawk drops a right hand. Garvin runs away from a tag so Hayes tries to climb out. Hawk goes up top as well and Michael is knocked to the floor. Garvin finally gets the tag and he’s tentative at best. Why no Animal yet? Oh there he is, for a TEN REP gorilla press. Now Hayes runs from the tag.

And never mind as he comes in a few seconds alter. Hayes gets in a few shots but Hawk runs him over quickly. He bites the cut on Hayes’ head because Hawk is a little nuts. Garvin comes in to pound on him and it’s back to Hayes for a figure four. Hawk easily breaks it and it’s back to Garvin, whose offense is shrugged off. Not hot tag to Animal and everything breaks down. Hayes pulls out some brass knuckles but he hits Garvin by mistake so Animal gets the easy pin.

Rating: D. According to the announcer that gives the Warriors revenge for something, but again it’s not important enough to tell us about. This was about as dominant of a match as you can see without it being a squash. The Birds never had a chance but they were against the Road Warriors so that shouldn’t be a shock. The Warriors left the AWA after this match.

That ends the show, but because I have no regard for my own sanity, I’ll thrown in a look at the music video namesake of this show: the WrestleRock Rumble. The idea is a music video of the roster “rapping”, because that fits in so well with the them of WrestleROCK. It’s supposed to be in the vein of the SuperBowl Shuffle from the Chicago Bears. This is going to be painful so let’s get it over with.

We open with Hall and Hennig getting out of a pool wearing Speedos. This isn’t going to be pretty is it? They want the Long Riders and “rhyme” about it, then the girls shove them into the pool. An interviewer raps and some Playboy chick says nothing of note. I’m better at rapping than the Rockers I believe. The Sheik sounds as stereotypical as possible. Blackwell, a fat country boy, is shown crushing a board.

Greg Gagne sounds like he smoked five packs a day. We see the same Hennig/Hall segment that started this nightmare. Amazingly enough, Zbyszko’s and Bockwinkel’s are the least bad. They’re not good, but they could have been a lot worse. LeDoux looks like he wants to die. Verne reads his rap, which is kind of funny. And that’s it. It’s terribly corny but it could have been MUCH worse. Again though, why call it a rap when the show has the word ROCK in the name? On top of that, country singer Waylon Jennings had a mini concert after the show. Even the AWA had no idea what they were doing here.

Overall Rating: D-. I won’t call it a failure, because there are some parts of a watchable show in here. The problem is they needed A LOT of stuff fixed here. First of all, cut this down from the over FOUR HOUR run time this already had down to about two hours and forty five minutes. Shave out the midget match and two to three more and it’s a far less uninteresting show.

Second, give us some reasons to watch these matches. This was a recurring problem in the AWA: there were no stories to back up these matches. The only one mentioned was Verne having broken ribs from a few years ago, which is a stretch but it’s better than nothing. There’s no reason to watch this show as the AWA was flying off a cliff at this point, but the matches for the most part aren’t horrible. They’re very boring, but they’re not horrible. Overall it’s not the worst show I’ve ever seen and there are definitely much worse ones, but there’s no appeal here at all.

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