ECW on Sci Fi
Date: October 10, 2006
Location: Kansas Coliseum, Wichita, Kansas
Attendance: 5,585
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re coming off a good show last week as Test beat Rob Van Dam in a pretty good Extreme Rules match. That being said, I’m not entirely sure where things are supposed to go. This show is dying for some top faces and I’m not sure how many of them are available. As for tonight though, it’s an Attitude Era flashback with Extreme Strip Poker. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

This one is rated TV-MA and we get a special disclaimer.

We go straight to the poker room, with Balls Mahoney as our dealer. The women introduce themselves and talk about how nice their underwear is. Mahoney gets to the rules: everyone is dealt a card, lowest card loses clothing. Dang it I was looking forward to seeing the poker. Ashley loses first and hands Mahoney her shirt.

Opening sequence.

CM Punk vs. Rene Dupree

Punk takes him down for an early two as we go split screen to see Kelly Kelly taking off her shoes. Dupree gets in a right hand to knock Punk off the apron and into the announcers’ table as we see Trinity lose part of her top. Back in the arena, Punk fights out of a chinlock and hits a running leg lariat. A powerslam sets up the Anaconda Vice to make Dupree tap.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing more than an excuse to have the poker deal going on at the same time, which is likely going to be a theme tonight. Punk winning is the right move of course and while Dupree losing so soon is a bit strange, how far was he going to go around here in the first place? Dupree isn’t someone with much of a future and I think that’s been known since the day he showed up around here.

Maria takes off her stockings and Candice loses her skirt.

Post break and it’s Dealer’s Choice, meaning Mahoney gets to pick what the loser loses. Krystal loses her skirt. Ashley spanks her and a brawl is teased.

Kevin Thorn vs. Tommy Dreamer

Ariel is here with Thorn. Dreamer is sent shoulder first into the post as we see Ashley losing her shoes. The arm is bent around the ropes and the armbar goes on as Ashley helps Candice remove her top. Dreamer gets a boot up in the corner and hits a suplex for two. A middle rope elbow misses though and a sitout Rock Bottom into a spinebuster gives Thorn two of his own. Dreamer gets knocked to the apron but manages a neck snap across the top, setting up the DDT for the pin.

Rating: D+. Another nothing match and that’s not surprising given the main theme of the show. In the opposite of the opener, I’m not sure I get the idea of having Thorn lose here as even though the vampire gimmick is hardly something with the best long term hope, Thorn has enough of a presence to him that you could see him becoming something. This is hardly a death sentence, but it’s kind of a weird choice.

Kristal loses her shoes and Mahoney is rather happy.

Video on Hardcore Holly’s injury against Rob Van Dam two weeks ago, plus Test attacking him last week.

The women talk about men they find attractive. This turns into a Marine discussion, plus talking about Batista. Kelly is asked about CM Punk but Mahoney cuts it off to deal another hand. Kelly loses her skirt but throws in the top and bra for bonuses.

Video on the Marine premiere at Camp Pendleton.

Rob Van Dam/Sabu/Sandman vs. Test/Big Show/Matt Striker

During the entrances, Ashley loses her skirt and Kristal loses her top as the camera avoids the now topless Kelly. Test and Van Dam start things off with Van Dam being stomped down in the corner. The middle rope spinning crossbody and a kick to the face drop Test and it’s a Rolling Thunder/slingshot legdrop combination to give Sabu two. Sandman comes in and gets dropped in a hurry, meaning it’s off to Striker to hammer away.

Maria loses her skirt and we come back with Show coming in for the showdown with Sandman. Trinity loses her skirt as well and Test gets in a cheap shot from the apron to slow Sabu down. We take a break and come back with Test hitting a series of backbreakers for two on Sabu. It’s off to Striker for two off a neckbreaker and a running knee sends Sabu outside.

Van Dam has to save Sabu from Test and it’s back inside for Striker’s clothesline. Show runs Sabu over and Maria loses her top (Tazz: “I guess she lost a hand or something there.”). Test stomps on Sabu and we hit the bearhug. Striker dives into a kick to the face and the hot tag brings in Van Dam to clean house. Everything breaks down and the Five Star hits Striker, setting up Sandman’s Rolling Rock for the pin.

Rating: C-. It was strange seeing Sabu and Sandman wrestle a normal match and I think I can see why it didn’t happen very often. The match was hardly terrible but it was slow and boring without varying from the standard formula in the slightest. It was nice to see someone other than Van Dam get the win and Test continues to be fine as the monster, but it felt like a house show main event on TV.

We go back to the poker with Kelly covering herself and Candice losing and accusing Maria of cheating. The catfight is on and they lose the rest of their clothes so censored nudity (Mahoney: “ECW! I LOVE THIS JOB! ECW!”) ends the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This show was about one thing and one thing only and that worked about as well as you could have expected it to. What else was going to happen here? The women wore their outfits, then wore smaller outfits, then there was a segment at the end to appeal to 12-13 year olds. It was a ratings ploy that felt straight out of the Attitude Era and while not exactly interesting, it served its purpose well enough. In other words, stupid, not exactly thrilling, and as expected.

Then there was everything else and that wasn’t much. This show didn’t exactly offer anything of note in the realm of groundbreaking material, but the women were the focus anyway. It isn’t a good sign that we’re four months into the show and they already need ratings ploys, but Renee Dupree, Tommy Dreamer and Matt Striker aren’t going to draw in the biggest audiences. I got what they were going for here and fair enough, but a totally skippable show this week.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 9, 2006
Location: Columbia Coliseum, Columbia, South Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s a special three hour show this week with Raw Family Reunion. A bunch of people who have not appeared in a long time will be back and that could make for some interesting moments. We are also in for the start of some new stories as John Cena finally vanquished Edge for good last week inside a cage. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

New opening sequence, featuring To Be Loved by Papa Roach. I always liked that one.

All of the commentators welcome us to the show, which does give it the pay per view feeling.

Here’s John Cena to get things going. He’s hyped up to be here on this special edition of the show, which is also the 698^th episode. Before he gets going though, he has a message for Edge, after the chairs, the cages, the violence and the carnage, the champ is still here. Cue King Booker and Queen Sharmell from Smackdown with Booker bragging about how he retained the title in a four way last night at No Mercy. He also brings up his last appearance on Raw, when he made Cena kiss his feet.

Cena does a better British accent and talks about coming to Smackdown where he beat Booker’s team in a six man. The fight is almost on but here’s Big Show to say he’s the Champion Of Champions. Show: “You’ve got a white guy who talks like he’s black.” Show: “What you talking about Willis?” Show says Booker is a black guy who talks like Prince Charles so Cena calls him the Michelin Man. Cena doesn’t think much of Show calling himself the most dominant giant ever. Cena: “There’s another giant. Andre, The. Look it up.”

Show says he’s heard that before and if Andre was here, Show would beat him up too (that sounds so wrong). Booker asks what the point is and then they argue over whose movie was best, with Show bringing up the Waterboy. Booker talks about being in Ready to Rumble and….the other two crack up laughing (I mean…..ok yeah it was that bad). Cena thinks they should figure out who the best is and hammers on Show, who clears the ring in a hurry.

Teddy Long, Paul Heyman and Jonathan Coachman (the bosses) argue in the back over what we just saw. Three matches are made for later: Show vs. Jeff Hardy, Booker vs. Rob Van Dam and Cena vs. Undertaker. Well that just escalated.

Umaga vs. Kane

Armando Alejandro Estrada (carrying a long wooden stick) is here with Umaga and the loser leaves Raw. Kane slugs away to start but Umaga hammers him into the corner. Umaga misses a charge into the corner though and eats an elbow, only to knock Kane outside in a hurry. We take a break and come back with the running hip attack being cut off with a grab of the throat.

The chokeslam is broken up though as Umaga knocks him down and hits a top rope splash. The Samoan Spike is blocked as well and now the chokeslam connects. There’s the top rope clothesline but Estrada hits Kane with the board, setting up the Samoan Spike to give Umaga the pin.

Rating: D+. I wouldn’t expect any long matches tonight and that is not the worst thing in the world. This was all about wrapping up their rivalry (at least for now) and it worked out well enough. Beating Kane is almost a required merit badge for a monster so at least they got it out of the way again here. Kane really needs a change of scenery anyway.

Post match Kane gets the big sendoff round of applause.

South Carolina football coach Steve Spurrier is here and gets an introduction from Lilian Garcia.

Kane goes to leave but the Highlanders stop him to say it was an honor to be here with him. The beating doesn’t take long and Kane walks out.

DX has to give a formal apology for everything they did last week when they ran the show, which apparently they weren’t allowed to do. HHH doesn’t let Shawn finish any of them though because none of them were their fault. Shawn apologizes for beating Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch in a street fight, but that isn’t until later this evening. They realize they’re live so it’s time for a quick merchandise plug. These things are horribly corny but they make me chuckle.

Big Show vs. Jeff Hardy

Non-title. Hardy hammers away to start as Tazz actually mentions that Show is from South Carolina in the kind of trivia that most commentators wouldn’t think to include. Show shrugs everything off and slams Hardy down, only to miss the Vader Bomb elbow. The Twist of Fate is countered but Jeff manages to snap Show’s throat across the top rope.

The Whisper in the Wind sets up the Swanton for two, only to have Show grab the cobra clutch backbreaker (dubbed the Big Sleep). Now it’s the chokeslam for the pin. Too short to rate, but Joey citing the Hardcore Title as proof that Hardy was extreme was funny. They really didn’t have anyone from Raw other than the new Intercontinental Champion though? Like, Carlito wasn’t available?

Post match Johnny Nitro runs in to beat on Hardy but gets laid out by Show as well.

The Marine trailer.

D-Generation X vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

Street fight, but first, HHH has to say Vince isn’t here because he can’t find one big enough in South Carolina. HHH mentions Cocky, the University of South Carolina mascot, who appears on the screen. He isn’t here though, because apparently he has representation. Fans: “GAME! COCKS!” HHH: “No no. I’m the Game, he’s the cock.” HHH makes every joke about the name you can imagine and Shawn looks ready to bite through his lip.

Anyway, the match starts fast with HHH being sent outside, where he sends Cade face first into the announcers’ table. A double whip sends HHH into the steps and an atomic drop into a running big boot to the face drops Shawn. The whipping is on, which makes things a lot more difficult as Shawn and Cade look a good bit alike here. HHH comes back with the chair and Cade is busted open off a shot to the head. The table is set up at ringside and Shawn elbows Murdoch through it in a hurry. Back in and the superkick into the Pedigree finishes Cade.

Rating: C+. This was short and the ending wasn’t exactly in doubt but it was intense while it lasted. DX needed to break a bit of a sweat and while Cade and Murdoch aren’t the biggest opponents, so this was a nice little surprise. At least they got violent in a street fight, which isn’t the case often enough in these things.

In the back, Edge blames DX for costing him the World Title last week. Tonight, it’s the Cutting Edge.

We look back at Kane losing.

Here’s Shelton Benjamin to say this is almost his hometown so he isn’t leaving without some competition from any brand.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit takes him into the corner to start but Benjamin manages a quick shot to escape. A drop onto the ropes sets up the chinlock but Benoit fights up with the running forearm to the head. The German suplex connects on Benjamin, though the Swan Dive only connects with the mat. Not that it matters as Benoit grabs the Crossface for the fast win.

Paul Heyman tries to give ECW credit for Benoit but Teddy Long isn’t having it. Coach brings in Super Crazy and asks which brand is the best. All three try to get Crazy to say their brand is the best but the only thing Crazy can do is say all three brands are great. Long: “YOU SPEAK ENGLISH???” Crazy: “Si.” The bosses are all stunned.

Chavo Guerrero/William Regal/Finlay vs. Batista/Bobby Lashley/Rey Mysterio

Chavo starts with Rey and is quickly hurricanranaed out to the floor. Finlay and Regal have to bail to the floor to avoid a double 619 and the big brawl is on as we take a fast break. Back with Cole telling us not to adjust our sets because this is indeed Raw. Has anyone in the world ever thought they were on the wrong channel (or night in this case) and actually adjusted their set? Maybe turning the sharpness up and the contrast down makes it ECW?

Anyway, we’re back with Finlay hitting a shoulderbreaker on Rey so Chavo can hammer away in the corner. A big kick to the head allows Rey to bring tag Batista….but the referee doesn’t see it. The sitout bulldog plants Chavo and allows the real tag to Batista for the house cleaning. The Jackhammer gets two on Chavo as everything breaks down. Rey hits the top rope hurricanrana into the 619 into the spinebuster into the frog splash for the pin (as Lashley just gets to look on for some reason).

Rating: C. Nothing but a showcase match here and that’s all it needed to be. There is something nice about taking six of the best a show has and throwing them out there for a pretty easy night’s work and that’s all they did here. They had some star power and it keeps Chavo vs. Rey going (assuming they want to) and the fans had some fun. Not too bad.

Eric Bischoff has a book.

Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young get to come out to the stage for a quick wave. Nothing wrong with that.

John Cena trained with Marines at Paris Island, South Carolina.

Booker doesn’t think much of Cena and promises to dominate RVD tonight.

Women’s Title Tournament First Round: Melina vs. Torrie Wilson

Melina walks up the steps and Lawler is livid about the lack of splits entrance. Actually we’ll make this a lumberjack match, with the Extreme Strip Poker participants at ringside. They both get sent outside to start and then get sent back inside because yes, this is a lumberjack match. Back in and they slug it out until Torrie gets two off a suplex. A Kristal distraction lets Melina grab a rollup with trunks to win.

Post match Torrie gives Kristal a Stink Face.

Clips of the Wrestlemania press conference. Edge is WWE Champion here so this is a bit out of date.

King Booker vs. Rob Van Dam

Non-title. Booker misses a kick to the face to start and gets rolled up for two as JBL and Tazz bicker about announcing prowess. Van Dam gets sent shoulder first into the post and Booker hits the hook kick to the face as the arguing continues. Cole: “I’M BEGGING ANYBODY TO LET ME CALL A NEAR FALL!” Van Dam fights up and elbows Booker in the face but Sharmell crotches him on top, allowing Booker to hit a spinning kick for the pin.

Rating: C-. Another short match but they did what they were supposed to do. Just let them get in and out while keeping Van Dam protected. It’s not like the champions are likely to lose here and they didn’t waste time trying to make us believe otherwise. These two can have a better match if they are given the chance, but that wasn’t the point here.

Cryme Tyme debuts next week.

The Spirit Squad’s Mitch admits that he sucks but he’ll beat Ric Flair tonight because Flair has no friends.

Vince McMahon returns to interrupt the bosses and has an idea: a triple threat Champion vs. Champion vs. Champion match at Cyber Sunday with the fans voting on who gets to defend their title. Yeah they like the plan.

Clip of the Marine premiere at Camp Pendleton.

Mitch vs. Ric Flair

The Spirit Squad is here so Ric brings out Roddy Piper, Arn Anderson, Ted DiBiase and IRS. That’s a collection of great legends and IRS! If nothing else the Horsemen theme is great to hear every time. The Squad runs off in fear and Flair shrugs off the forearms to the back, setting up the Figure Four for the win in less than a minute.

Here are Edge and Lita for the Cutting Edge. They don’t waste time and bring out Randy Orton in the guest. Edge talks about how Orton impressed him two years ago when he won the World Title but since then, he has done absolutely nothing. Orton doesn’t like that and it’s even worse when Edge talks about all of Orton’s big losses. We see a clip of HHH throwing Orton out of Evolution and beating him down and Edge says it was all HHH ruining his career. Now history is repeating itself and HHH cost him the title last week. Someone has to stand up to DX and it should be the two of them. Hands are shaken and we have an alliance.

John Cena vs. Undertaker

Non-title again. They circle each other to start until Cena hammers away in the corner, only to get tossed into the corner so Undertaker can show him how it’s done. Old School is countered though and it’s a superplex to give Cena two. Undertaker grabs the bearhug but Cena is out in a hurry for the flying shoulder. A running DDT gives Cena two and the sit up freaks him out. The FU is countered and Undertaker hits the chokeslam but here are Big Show and Booker to jump Undertaker.

Rating: C. Another match that didn’t matter much but the atmosphere was certainly there. You don’t see two actual titans of WWE going at it very often and while Cena was still climbing, he was the top star in the company here and putting him in the ring with Undertaker feels important. There was no one anyone was taking a pin here so for once, the run in was the perfect call.

Post match Mr. Kennedy comes in after Undertaker as well and the two of them go up the ramp. The champs are left alone and Cena drops Booker, setting up the STFU on Show. An FU plants Booker to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. As you can probably guess, this wasn’t about the wrestling itself and for once it wasn’t even about the legends. This was about making people care about all three brands on one night and putting a new coat of paint on Raw (or at least giving it a new theme song). That worked out well and it felt like an important show without anything that dragged the show down. It’s not a masterpiece but it felt energized and I had fun, which is the point of a big special like this. Nice show and they did well when they were trying to.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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ECW on Sci Fi
Date: October 3, 2006
Location: Landon Arena, Topeka, Kansas
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

Things have gotten a bit more interesting around here in recent weeks after Hardcore Holly ripped his back apart in a match with Rob Van Dam last week. That is the kind of moment that made this place actually feel extreme and if they can do something like that (without horribly injuring someone) they might be onto something. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Paul Heyman and Hardcore Holly look at the injury last week with Heyman saying Holly can’t wrestle Rob Van Dam tonight, no matter how much he wants to. Heyman is worried about a lawsuit but Holly grabs him by the coat (Heyman: “BOB!”) and shoves him into a locker. Cue Test with a chair to the back to put Holly down in agony. Test will get to face Rob Van Dam tonight instead.

Opening sequence.

Sandman/Sabu vs. Matt Striker/Big Show

That is one of the oddest tag matches I have ever seen. Sabu and Show start things off with the right hands not having any effect on the giant. A headbutt drops Sabu and it’s off to Striker to slowly stomp away. The springboard leg lariat puts Striker down but Show low bridges Sabu out to the floor.

We take a break and come back with Show suplexing Sabu so Striker can get two. Striker sends Sabu face first into Show’s raised boot and then takes him down by the hair. Sabu gets in a shot of his own though and the hot tag brings in Sandman (to a heck of a pop). Everything breaks down and Show breaks up the White Russian legsweep. A splash from Show lets Striker steal the pin.

Rating: D+. As weird as that was, including the loud pop for Sandman’s hot tag, this wasn’t much of a match. I’m not sure what you would have expected from something like this though, as you have Show and almost no one else, which doesn’t make for the strongest setup. I do like them trying something fresh though as they have to bring in someone new at some point.

We look at Holly being attacked again. Turning Holly face off of that injury would be….I’m not sure how that would work actually.

Kelly Kelly and Trinity promote next week’s Extreme Strip Poker with Kelly opening her top to reveal a pair of strategically placed aces.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Kevin Thorn

Ariel is here with Thorn, who shoves Dreamer off the middle rope to start and hammers away. A missed charge in the corner lets Dreamer grab a neckbreaker for two and there’s a swinging neckbreaker for the same. The Dreamer DDT gets two as Ariel puts the foot on the rope. The referee yells at her, allowing Thorn to get in the walking stick shot for the pin.

Rating: D+. Another lame match here, mainly due to the time. Thorn still feels like a token supernatural character and that isn’t the most appealing idea. Dreamer is still fine enough for a midcard spot around here and it would be weird to not have him as part of ECW. Not very good here, but what else were they supposed to do?

The Marine still exists.

Maria and Candice Michelle want to play poker.

CM Punk vs. Danny Doring

Butterfly backbreaker into the kick to the head and Anaconda Vice for the tap in just over a minute.

Post match Kelly Kelly comes out and dances for Punk but Mike Knox cuts her off. Knox tells him to stay away from Kelly, but Punk says she won’t stay away from him. The brawl is teased but doesn’t happen.

Ashley and Kristal have more poker trash talk, because that’s a thing.

Rob Van Dam vs. Test

Extreme Rules. Van Dam kicks away to start but gets sent outside in a heap. The choking on the barricade doesn’t work but neither does Rob’s spinning kick to the back. That’s enough for a banged up knee so Test grabs the steps, which bounce off the post and fall back onto his face instead. Despite the bad knee, Van Dam hits Rolling Thunder onto Test onto the steps.

The table is set up at ringside but Test blasts him with a clothesline back inside. A chair is kicked into Rob’s face and Test puts another one in the corner. Rob is able to grab a chair and throw it at Test’s face, setting up a heck of a sunset powerbomb to send Test through the table (in a nice call back to Holly’s injury). We take a break and come back with Paul Heyman coming out to the ring. Test kicks Van Dam low and then sends him outside, where the security guards beat up Van Dam even more.

Back in and Van Dam is sent head first into the chair in the corner for two. The bearhug goes on so Rob escapes in a hurry, only to get chaired in the face again. The turnbuckle pad was taken off somewhere in there but Van Dam kicks him down for a save. Rob skateboards the chair into Test’s face in the corner but Rolling Thunder only hits chair.

Test goes up top with a chair and drives it onto the chair onto Van Dam’s face (that looked good) for two. Another table is set up inside, where Van Dam counters a powerbomb into a sunset flip for two of his own. Test goes into the exposed buckle and is then sat on the table, but Van Dam has to go after the security guards. Cue Show to send Van Dam through the table and Test’s TKO is good for the pin.

Rating: B-. That has to be Test’s best match ever and while it was hidden behind a bunch of smoke and mirrors, it worked out rather well in the end. Test gets the big win and Van Dam’s punishment continues, but they need to give him something sooner or later. Heck of a main event though and I had a lot of fun with the whole thing.

Overall Rating: C+. The main event helped a lot but next week’s show does not sound like their best offering. It’s good that they are setting up stories for later, but there are still a bunch of things that are not exactly interesting. The strip poker deal might be the biggest ratings ploy ever and feels like it belongs on Raw in 1999, though it should do its job well enough. I liked enough stuff on here and given where some of the previous shows had been, this worked fine.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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ECW on Sci Fi
Date: September 26, 2006
Location: Convention Center, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Commentators: Tazz, Joey Styles

Things are starting to round into form around here, but the question is whether or not that is a good thing. There are some parts of the show that work well enough, but there are so many that don’t and it is showing badly. As usual, this is likely going to depend on the guest star so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Jim Ross as the special guest. JR is glad to be here and talks about how he got his start in this very building. He says ECW reminds him of Mid-South and here’s Matt Striker to interrupt. Striker is out here on Paul Heyman’s behalf because he knows JR is uneducated. JR is wearing a blue shirt because he is blue collar and probably enjoys drinking ALCOHOL! Just like Sandman! Striker criticizes the cowboy hat (fair) so here’s Sandman to clean house, with JR getting a cane shot to Striker’s back. JR toasts Sandman, who is getting a title shot against Big Show tonight.

Hardcore Holly is ready to show Rob Van Dam what extreme is.

Hardcore Holly vs. Rob Van Dam

Extreme Rules. Van Dam throws him hard into the corner for a running elbow and a superkick puts Holly on the floor. That lets Rob hit the spinning kick to the back over the barricade and it’s table time. As usual, that takes too long and Holly jumps him from behind and stomps away in the corner. We hit the reverse chinlock, with some EXTREME closeups of Van Dam’s face.

Van Dam makes it to the ropes so Holly runs him over again. Holly goes out to the apron to suplex him through the table and we take a break. Back with Holly’s back sliced to shreds with a HORRIBLE looking gash near his side. The fans even chant for him as he drops Van Dam’s throat across an open chair. A middle rope legdrop onto a chair onto Van Dam’s face has Holly writhing in pain as there is so much blood on Holly’s back. Van Dam is back with a suplex onto the chair, making the blood flow even harder.

There’s a monkey flip out of the corner as Holly is probably ready to kill Van Dam for every one of these moves. The chair is skateboarded into Holly’s face but he counters another monkey flip into a powerbomb onto the chair for two. Van Dam kicks him down again and tries the Five Star, only to get the chair thrown into his face. The Alabama Slam is broken up so Holly punches him in the face but staggers a bit. Back up and the Van Daminator sets up the Five Star for a delayed pin, allowing Holly to head off for a transfusion.

Rating: B. Holly deserves all the credit in the world for this one as no one would have held it against him for stopping the match. That was one of the more gruesome injuries I have seen in a very long time and it was hard to watch this more than once. Heck of an effort, but it probably should have been stopped for his own good.

Medics are IMMEDIATELY in the ring to cover the wound and Holly gets a big and well deserved standing ovation.

CM Punk explains straightedge and wants tougher competition. Kelly Kelly comes in and mentions EXTREME Strip Poker in two weeks. She swoons over his tattoos and mentions being 19 but here’s Mike Knox to take her away. Threats are made and Punk says he’s ready whenever.

John Cena has a wife in the Marine.

Ariel vs. Francine

Extreme Catfight. Before the match, Ariel talks about how horrible Francine’s life is and how much she’ll wish to be with Kevin Thorn. The fight is on with Ariel losing some clothes until Thorn comes in to pull Francine off. Balls Mahoney come sin for the save and we’re done in about a minute.

Video on Sandman.

Paul Heyman and Big Show talk about the Singapore cane being legal in the main event.

Rene Dupree gets out of the show in an extreme manner.

ECW World Title: Big Show vs. Sandman

Sandman is challenging and the Singapore cane is legal. Joined in progress with Sandman caning away as we hear about Holly needing 24 stitches to sew up the gash (which went down to the fatty tissue). Show, bleeding, gets up from the cane shots and knocks Sandman around. A headbutt and heavy clothesline take Sandman down but he throws the left hands. Sandman counters the chokeslam into a DDT and more cane shots give Sandman two. Cue Matt Striker to take the cane away though and the cobra clutch backbreaker has Sandman mostly done. The big leg retains the title.

Rating: D. This was much more of a match than I would have expected but you’re only going to get so much out of Sandman throwing punches and cane shots. Sandman was working harder than usual here and while he was trying, there is a pretty firm limit to what he can do. For a one off though, it was a nice way to give Show someone else to beat up.

Overall Rating: C. That opener carried everything about the show and there wasn’t much else they could have done on the show. Above all else, Holly vs. Van Dam felt extreme rather than just violent. We’re long past the point of this show being like ECW, but it is nice to pay some lip service to that occasionally, even if it is just by mistake in one match. Not a very good show, but that wound on Holly has stayed in my head since I saw this show when it first aired for a reason.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

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ECW on Sci Fi
Date: September 19, 2006
Location: DCU Arena, Worcester, Massachusetts
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re continuing with the guest stars this week as King Booker is here. There are worse ideas than having him around, though I can’t imagine it being some big game changer. Other than that, we’ll likely get more of the ECW Originals vs. new guys, which should have some legs just for how many people are involved. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

King Booker and Queen Sharmell arrive, with Paul Heyman literally rolling out the red carpet. Heyman is going to introduce them to his locker room.

Opening sequence.

Sabu/Tommy Dreamer/Sandman vs. Mike Knox/Test/Matt Striker

This is Striker’s first match on the show. Dreamer and Knox circle each other for a bit to start before it’s off to Striker, who runs away from Sandman in a hurry. Knox comes in and gets neckbreakered by Dreamer, followed by a Cactus Clothesline. Test drives Dreamer into the post and Striker knocks Sandman into the barricade….so hard that Sandman is taken out as we go to a break.

Back with the match in handicap form and Test elbowing Dreamer in the face in the corner. The running corner clothesline lets Test stand on his back and it’s off to Striker for a quickly broken chinlock. Instead, Striker hammers away with right hands before handing it back to Test for another whip into the corner.

The bearhug lets Knox take his turn at hurting Dreamer but he misses a middle rope legdrop. A reverse DDT plants Knox and the hot tag brings in Sabu to a big reaction. House is cleaned, including the springboard spinning legdrop to Knox, plus Air Sabu. Test saves Striker from the camel clutch and then shoves the referee into the ropes to crotch Sabu on top….which is the ultra rare ECW DQ, which does not have the fans in the best mood.

Rating: D+. As usual, one of the biggest problems continues to be the lack of anything outside of basic power moves from Test and Knox. They aren’t interesting and having them as some of the higher profile heels on the show isn’t doing ECW any favors. The ECW Originals are fine as a unit with nothing else to do, but it’s not like Sandman being out of the match caused any major changes.

Post match the big beatdown is on until Sandman staggers out for the save with the Singapore cane.

Heyman introduces King Booker and Queen Sharmell to CW Anderson and Stevie Richards, but they are both disturbed by Balls Mahoney.

Kevin Thorn vs. Balls Mahoney

Ariel is here with Thorn so Mahoney brings out Francine in her debut. The women almost get in a fight before the match so Thorn knocks Mahoney outside. Back in and the beating continues until Mahoney grabs a quick kind of powerbomb for two. Ariel trips him down though, meaning the catfight is on (ok go ahead Joey). Mahoney gets distracted and a Razor’s Edge out of the corner gives Thorn the pin.

Booker and Sharmell meet the FBI and Trinity, who does not please Sharmell. Next up is CM Punk, who explains straightedge. Punk likes the idea of a World Title shot against Booker so Heyman hurries the royals out.

Shannon Moore vs. CM Punk

Yes again, though this time Kelly Kelly comes out to watch. Punk hammers away to start and hits a leg lariat, followed by the surfboard to put Moore in more trouble. That’s broken up and Moore gets in some shots of his own as Mike Knox comes out to take Kelly to the back. Punk fights out of a chinlock and kicks away but Moore counters the bulldog out of the corner. A spinwheel kick sets up a Whisper in the Wind but Punk sidesteps the flying man with the neon mohawk without much effort. The high kick sets up the Rock Bottom into the Anaconda Vice for the tap.

Rating: C-. Punk is always fun to watch and moving him up to face Knox over Kelly is certain better than having him beat up ECW Originals and Shannon Moore over and over. The match was nothing of course, but the whole point was to have Kelly out there and set up something with Knox. It’s not overly interesting, but it’s a good step for Punk, which is a good idea.

King Booker and Queen Sharmell run into Rob Van Dam. The non-title Extreme Rules match is set up for tonight.

Rene Dupree brags about beating Balls Mahoney last week.

Video on John Cena in the Marine. Again.

Rob Van Dam vs. King Booker

Non-title and Extreme Rules. Rob strikes away in the corner to start but gets shoved off the top and into the barricade to put him down early. Booker whips him hard into the steps, meaning it’s time to bring in a chair. A kick to the face misses but Booker grabs the Book End, setting up the Spinarooni (Extreme Royal version). That takes too long though so Rob knocks him into the corner, setting up the skatedboarded chair to the face. Rolling Thunder onto the chair onto Booker connects but it’s a rather delayed two.

The fans want tables but settle for Rob wedging a chair into the corner instead. Since Rob set it up though, he gets catapulted head first into the chair for a nasty crash. The spinebuster onto the chair makes it worse but the Houston Hangover only hits chair. The Five Star connects but here’s Hardcore Holly to chair Van Dam in the back. Holly hits the Alabama Slam and Booker adds the ax kick for the pin.

Rating: C. The match was about as paint by numbers as you can get but they are talented people having a paint by numbers match so it worked out just fine. Holly interfering is a good way to get out of things while keeping Van Dam strong and that’s about as important of a thing as they can do at the moment. The match felt like it belonged on a house show but around here, that’s all it needed to be.

Overall Rating: C-. The lack of star power continues to shine through rather hard around here with Booker being the latest name they have to bring in to help things out. There are only two main event level stars around here in Big Show and Van Dam, but how many times can they use those two? That’s why CM Punk could be the next best hope, because you can see the star power in him. Odds are that is a long way off though so for now, this was another not so great show.

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ECW on Sci Fi
Date: September 12, 2006
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 17,298
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

Oh yeah I’d say this is a special one. I know that this isn’t the original ECW and it is pretty much the same in name only, but it has to be an especially cool moment for these guys to make it to the World’s Most Famous Arena. We’re still setting up Hardcore Holly as Paul Heyman’s newest enforcer against the combined powers of Rob Van Dam and Sabu. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Paul Heyman, now billed as the Father Of Extreme Championship Wrestling, and with his bodyguards, to open the show. He talks about how everyone is here to witness something special because this is the center of the universe. Heyman talks about how important this building is to a kid who grew up in New York and he thanks….himself for making this happen.

Who else is he supposed to thank? Five years ago, he listened to the people and ECW went out of business. Now he is listening to Vince McMahon on how to grow ECW and it has gone from the Bingo Hall to the Garden. Cue Sabu to take out the bodyguards and get in a few shots on Heyman until the guards get up to pull him off. The guards get Heyman out so Heyman makes Sabu vs. Big Show in an Extreme Rules match for the title. Sabu dives onto the guards. You could hear how special this was to Heyman and that’s pretty cool.

Rob Van Dam vs. Hardcore Holly

It’s a brawl to start with Holly backdropping him to the floor and hitting a dive of his own. Rob kicks away but misses the spinning kick from the apron for the big crash. Back in and Holly chokes away on the ropes but a middle rope elbow….well it wasn’t supposed to connect as Van Dam raised his boot but it did connect with Van Dam’s face anyway so it was kind of a weird landing. Rob kicks him down and hits the monkey flip out of the corner, only to get crotched on top. The top rope superplex is broken up though and Van Dam loads up the Five Star but here are Test, Stevie Richards and Mike Knox for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Holly may not be much of a threat to Van Dam but he’s fine as a hard hitting villain who could make him break a sweat. That’s all he needs to be, but ECW could use an imposing or at least threatening heel wrestler outside of Big Show. Test and Knox aren’t exactly people who are going to be top level villains and that can only go so far.

Post match the big beatdown is on until Sandman and Tommy Dreamer make the save. Richards takes the beating. The Old vs. New feud may not be the most original idea but what else are they supposed to do with these guys?

Video on the Marine.

CM Punk vs. Shannon Moore

Fallout from Punk calling him a poser last week. Moore slaps him in the face to start but Punk grabs the Vice in the corner. Some knees set up the strikes to the face into the Rock Bottom. The Anaconda Vice makes Moore tap in a hurry. Thank goodness, as I don’t think I could handle Moore as someone supposed to be taken seriously.

Post break, Kelly Kelly comes up to rub CM Punk’s chest and say what a big fan she is. She would love to go to one of those wild and crazy nightclubs with Punk but she’s only 19. Mike Knox comes in to get rid of her.

Rene Dupree vs. Balls Mahoney

Kevin Thorn and Ariel are at ringside. Dupree gets sent into the corner for the snap jabs to start but Dupree hits him in the face. A middle rope elbow gets two and the French Tickler makes its return (with Tazz not wanting to sing). Back up and they slug it out with Mahoney’s sitout spinebuster getting two. A Cactus Clothesline puts both of them on the floor so it’s chair time, with the referee taking it away from Mahoney. Ariel offers a distraction and Thorn sends Mahoney off the apron and head first into the steps to give Dupree the pin.

Rating: D+. Much like Moore, am I supposed to take Dupree seriously? It wouldn’t seem to be the case, but it also doesn’t make ECW look all that important. These guys weren’t being featured on WWE TV for a reasons and they feel like people who are there because WWE has nowhere else to put them. The repackaging can only do so much, but at least they’re trying. Kind of.

Matt Striker doesn’t like the fans drinking giggle water and watching Sandman. That isn’t good, so the choice is yours: cheer Sandman or come to class and learn.

We look back at HHH vs. Vince McMahon from last night, including Big Show coming in to help the McMahons beat down DX.

ECW World Title: Big Show vs. Sabu

Show, with Paul Heyman and security, is defending and it’s Extreme Rules. Sabu whips out a table and chair and after a break, Show swats the chair out of the air. Show knocks him down and sends Sabu to the floor for the beatdown from security. Back in and some headbutts put Sabu down and a running clothesline does it again. Sabu gets smart by kicking him low and now the thrown chair works a bit better.

Show is crotched on the ropes and a jumping kick to the face puts him on the floor. The fans want tables but have to settle for Show running Sabu over again. The chokeslam through the table is countered into a DDT through the table for two instead and some more chair shots put Show through a table at ringside. Show gets posted and Sabu sets up another table but Sabu’s dive is countered into a chokeslam through said table. Back in and the cobra clutch backbreaker retains the title.

Rating: C-. The matches are fine enough for what they are but how many times can we see these two do the same thing? Sabu isn’t going to win the title and we established that a pretty long time ago. Show needs a new challenger, but other than Rob Van Dam, who is there to do that right now? I get why they needed to do a title match in MSG but they need something different to do going forward. I’m just not sure what that is.

Overall Rating: D+. While the Garden is the big point here, and it’s really cool that ECW got to do something there, it’s also not a good show or a good sign for their future. ECW really, really needs to upgrade their roster and I’m not sure how important it is for WWE to send more talent over here. The old vs. new stuff is fine enough and Show works as a champion, but he needs challengers and a lot of the card is pretty weak. I’m not expecting WWE to make that better though and that’s why ECW keeps feeling like it’s in big trouble long term.

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: September 5, 2006
Location: Civic Center, Columbus, Georgia
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s time for more guest stars as a ticked off DX is here to face Big Show in a handicap match. For once this is actually part of a story as DX will be facing Show and the McMahons in the Cell at Unforgiven. Hopefully this serves as a good setup for the match, but you never can tell what you are going to get around here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of DX surviving against the McMahons and company at Summerslam.

DX arrives and confirms that this is the right place (HHH: “Bingo.”). Good thing their travel arrangements were properly made.

Opening sequence.

Sabu/Rob Van Dam vs. Test/Mike Knox

Extreme Rules and Kelly Kelly is here with the monsters. Since it’s Extreme Rules, we start with Sabu vs. Knox because WWE doesn’t understand their own rules. Sabu gets in a shot to Knox and quickly brings in Van Dam, which is probably the best idea in the “extreme” portion. The first table is loaded up at ringside and Sabu grabs a chair for a bonus. Rob manages a spinwheel kick in the corner and Rolling Thunder gets two on Test. Sabu comes in for his half of a double springboard leg lariat for two on Knox.

Everything breaks down (at least they didn’t waste time) and Van Dam has to kick Test in the face to save Sabu from a gorilla press. Everyone but Sabu fight on the apron in front of the table so Sabu uses the chair as a launchpad to drive through all through said table. We take a break and come back with Test breaking up the Triple Jump Moonsault but getting chaired into the corner.

Van Dam skateboards the chair into Test’s face but Knox chairs him down to break up the Five Star. There’s a superplex to Van Dam, only to have Sabu hit Knox with a chair for two. Another chair shot gets one with Test making the save but Air Sabu hits him in the corner. The Triple Jump Moonsault connects for a rather delayed two and it’s time for a fresh table. Rob starts throwing the chairs and it’s the guillotine legdrop/Five Star to drive Knox through the table for the pin.

Rating: C+. The dumb tagging part aside, this actually felt like something involving ECW, which is one of the only times that has been the case so far. If nothing else, it would be a lot to take to see Sabu and Van Dam lose to these two goons. At least they seem to be starting to move in a slightly better direction, but it might already be too late.

Kevin Thorn and Ariel do their tarot card thing and decide it means something sexual.

It’s time for Striker’s Classroom with Striker telling everyone that they’re stupid. These people need to stop learning about Michael Vick and read more books by Rush Limbaugh. He’s too smart to be stupid though and as a result, he won’t swim in the ocean with stingrays (it was earlier in the week). Cue Sandman through the crowd (Striker: “You’re a little bit inebriated! Come on!”) to chase Striker off and write SUX under Striker’s name on the chalkboard. Striker says that just proved his point before leaving.

Video on the Marine.

Stevie Richards vs. Balls Mahoney

Before the match, Kevin Thorn and Ariel come to the commentary booth, where Ariel climbs onto Joey for a lap dance. Richards takes Mahoney down inside as Joey is sounding a little more nervous than usual. Mahoney fights out of a chinlock in a hurry but is right back down in it a few seconds later. This time the comeback actually works with Mahoney getting a rollup for two. Thorn and Ariel get on the apron for a distraction though and Richards hits a low blow for the fast pin.

Shannon Moore says he’s bringing sexy back. CM Punk comes up to call him a poser and slaps him in the face. Punk leaves and Moore starts crying.

Big Show vs. D-Generation X

Non-title and Paul Heyman and his security are here. Before the match, Heyman says he has made a mistake and this will NOT be under Extreme Rules. There are no tags here so HHH slugs away and helps Shawn get in a DDT. Show isn’t having any of this double suplex stuff though and sends DX into various corners.

The Vader Bomb misses but it’s time for the security guards to go after HHH. That leaves Shawn alone with Show in the ring, where a gorilla press cuts off the LET’S GO DX chant. We hit the bearhug on Shawn so he gets smart by going to the eye in a hurry. HHH comes back in for the facebuster and the spinebuster but Hardcore Holly comes in for the DQ.

Rating: C. This was as glorified of a cameo as you could have had from DX but you have three main event stars in a match so it’s not like they were going to be too bad. Holly coming in for the DQ at the end was a lame way to go but it made the most sense given the circumstances. It was as good as it was going to be here and everyone carried their part well enough.

Post match the brawl is on with the security guards helping put Shawn down. HHH comes in with the sledgehammer (including swinging it down onto one of the heads of one of the helmeted guards) and the villains run to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was one of the better ECWs so far and a lot of that is because it wasn’t the villains running roughshod over everyone. At some point you have to have the good guys give you some hope spots and that is what they did here. The show still isn’t great, but after everything they have been doing so far, the last few weeks have been a nice breath of air. Who knew Hardcore Holly might have been the secret all along?

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: August 29, 2006
Location: Sovereign Center, Reading, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

Believe it or not, this week’s show is about Paul Heyman, who is the big evil around here and therefore has to deal with Sabu. I’m not the biggest Sabu fan, but if they want this show to have anything to do with the original ECW, Sabu is one of their best options. Granted I have no reason to believe WWE is going to have him do anything but challenge for the title so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Big Show beating Sabu again last week but getting put through a table after the match.

Paul Heyman talks about how this is his ECW and now, for the first time ever, he is wrestling in an ECW ring. Like Dr. Frankenstein, he has to destroy his old creation by pinning Sabu 1-2-3.

Opening sequence.

Rob Van Dam vs. Hardcore Holly

Van Dam starts fast with a monkey flip to send Holly to the floor so Rob gets the chance to finger point. A slugout goes to Van Dam and he hits the spinning kick to the back with Holly over the barricade. Back in and some right hands in the corner have Holly staggered but he manages to toss Van Dam to the floor for the big crash. The chinlock goes on back inside but Rob fights up because it’s a chinlock, meaning we get the clothesline comeback. The standing moonsault into Rolling Thunder gets two but the Five Star misses. Holly goes to get a chair but Rob takes it away and draws the DQ.

Rating: C-. Holly does fit the smash mouth style of ECW, but he’s also not the kind of name who would have ever been allowed in the original ECW, which is where things start to go downhill. He’s been known as a low level guy for so long that suddenly presenting him as someone who might matter doesn’t work. Just having him beat up Van Dam for a few minutes doesn’t make him a star, and neither does being around for thirteen years and being best known as part of a mostly comedy division.

Post match Rob chairs him away again.

Rene Dupree likes to be in shape because he’s extreme.

Here’s Big Show to talk about how awesome and dominant he is, both here, at Summerslam, on Raw and at Unforgiven. He’s so confident that he challenges DX to face him in a handicap match next week.

Shannon Moore says fight the power.

CM Punk vs. Stevie Richards

Joey says Richards should be Punk’s toughest challenge in ECW to date. So is it not official ECW history that Justin Credible was a lame ECW Champion? Richards misses a charge to start and winds up on the floor, allowing Punk to take him down with a suicide dive. Back in and Richards strikes away with some knees to the ribs, followed by a kneeling bearhug of all things. Punk comes back with a leg lariat into a butterfly backbreaker for two. The Anaconda Vice finishes Richards in a hurry.

Rating: D+. The fans weren’t impressed with Punk here but it makes sense to give him win after win. It has worked as a way to establish new wrestlers for the better part of ever and it will work with him. You can see the star power in him as he looks and carries himself like a far bigger deal than almost anyone else around here. That’s one of the best things someone can do and Punk does it as well as almost anyone in ECW.

Video on Sabu.

Here’s Matt Striker for Striker’s Classroom. Striker thinks people should cheer for him but instead they cheer for the Sandman, who is ossified from his giggle water. See, Striker is an intellectual giant drowning in a cesspool of derelicts. Here’s Sandman for the brawl, with Striker hitting him in the head with a stapler. That’s enough to leave Sandman bloody so Striker can run off.

Kelly Kelly interrupts Balls Mahoney and lets him see what is underneath her robe. Mahoney heartily approves.

Commentary talks about Kurt Angle being released. That’s still a weird way to send him off.

Speaking far too calmly, Sabu promises to massacre Paul Heyman.

Sabu vs. Paul Heyman

Extreme Rules and Heyman’s security is here with him. The guards jump Sabu to start but he manages to get a chair and clean house. Heyman knows he is in trouble but Sabu dives onto the invading Big Show instead, though Show pulls him out of the air. A DDT on the floor drops Show but he’s right back up to beat Sabu down, albeit with the guards’ help. Sabu is beaten down and Heyman screams at Sabu about how he made him. The beatdown continues, with Heyman getting a right hand in on Sabu’s bloody head.

That’s enough to send Heyman running around in celebration because he has blood on his hand. Heyman talks trash but Sabu gets a hand on him so Heyman screams for Show. Sabu is almost thrown through the table but here’s Rob Van Dam to make the save. A Van Daminator puts Show down in the corner and Rob dives onto the guards.

Sabu uses the breather to get in a few shots on Heyman but Show cuts off the springboard dive to put Heyman through the table. Cue Hardcore Holly to Alabama Slam Van Dam through the table, leaving Show to hit the cobra clutch backbreaker on Sabu. A legdrop from Show lets Heyman steal the pin.

Rating: C-. The match was a huge mess of course but I don’t think anyone was buying this as being anything else from the start. It’s smart to have Van Dam get back into the main event scene because he’s easily the biggest name ECW has outside of (maybe) Big Show. If nothing else, he is a bigger name than Sabu and that Show needs a fresh challenger after being Sabu multiple times.

Post match Sabu is chokeslammed through a table so evil posing can end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The wrestling wasn’t very good this week but overall, the show was a leap and a bound better than what it has been doing lately. Above all else, it felt like something was happening for a change and that they had some goals in mind. That’s a lot better than having Show beat up some guest star, which he’ll likely get to do next week. It might not be a good show, but it’s at least a show that makes a bit more sense and that’s a big upgrade after the last few weeks.

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ECW on Sci Fi
Date: August 22, 2006
Location: Wachovia Arena, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

Summerslam has come and gone and that means it is time for Big Show to find a new challenger. Sabu gave him a run for at least a few dollars before falling to the giant, like so many others have so far. Hopefully they can find someone new to come after the title, though Kurt Angle is no longer an option. Let’s get to it.

Here is Summerslam if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

We open with an Extreme Bikini Contest between Torrie Wilson and Kelly Kelly. Torrie goes first but here are Mike Knox and Test to tell Kelly she can’t do this. Sandman and Tommy Dreamer run in to chase them off and let’s have a six person tag.

Torrie Wilson/Sandman/Tommy Dreamer vs. Kelly Kelly/Test/Mike Knox

The brawl is on to start with Torrie sending Kelly into the corner for an early Stink Face. Test comes in to pound on Dreamer and Knox follows to add the stomping. Dreamer is sent into the corner and, after knocking Sandman off the apron, Test grabs a quickly broken bearhug. A neckbreaker gets Dreamer out of trouble and the hot tag brings in Sandman. House is cleaned and Sandman hits the Rolling Rock for two on Knox. Sandman gets shoved off the ropes but Knox misses the middle rope legdrop, allowing Dreamer to grab the DDT for the pin.

Rating: D. This was all about Torrie standing on the apron in a swimsuit with her back facing the camera. I get the idea, though it’s not like they were hiding the idea. The match came and went, but it’s nice to see the ECW Originals getting a win for a change, because they haven’t done a thing of note against anyone but themselves in weeks.

Big Show tells Heyman not to worry about Sabu because he has a plan.

Matt Striker knows that fans are not smart enough to understand him but what matters is that he’s smarter than you and his brains are coming to ECW.

Kevin Thorn vs. Balls Mahoney

Extreme Rules and Ariel is here with Thorn. Mahoney strikes away to start and kicks Thorn to the floor, where the slugout is on again. Back in and Thorn gets in a few cane shots, including one to the throat. Mahoney grabs a sitout spinebuster but Ariel bites his leg, allowing Thorn to kick a chair into Mahoney’s face. The hanging Stunner finishes Mahoney in a hurry.

Shannon Moore says the system is impressive.

CM Punk vs. Christopher W. Anderson

Anderson drives him into the corner to start and nails a left to the ribs, sending commentary into a quick Abbott and Costello routine. Punk is back with something like an Octopus over the ropes, setting up a sunset flip for two. The running knee in the corner rocks Anderson but he’s back with a spinebuster for two. Not that it matters as Punk slaps on the Anaconda Vice for the fast tap.

Sabu promises to beat Big Show tonight.

Marine trailer.

Paul Heyman gives the newest ECW star a pep talk about how they have been held back for his entire career. There are enemies around here but he can make it if he makes an impact. It’s Hardcore Holly, as ECW continues to not exactly look strong. That being said, Holly’s bull, hard hitting stuff does seem like it could fit here.

Rob Van Dam vs. Danny Doring

The grappling doesn’t go very far to start so Van Dam kicks him down in a hurry. Doring takes him to the mat, only to get kicked in the face again. The top rope kick to the face into Rolling Thunder sets up the Five Star for the fast pin.

Post match here’s Hardcore Holly to beat both of them down with a chair. Van Dam gets an Alabama Slam for a bonus, just to make sure you didn’t think you were getting a Holly vs. Doring feud.

Rene Dupree is still coming.

ECW World Title: Big Show vs. Sabu

Show is defending and this isn’t Extreme Rules. After the Big Match Intros, Show headbutts him down and hammers away as the destruction is on early. Sabu gets dropped ribs first onto the top rope and we take a break. Back with Show hitting a clothesline into the bearhug but the referee gets bumped.

A fall away slam sends Sabu flying so he grabs a chair and blasts Show to limited avail. Sabu’s middle rope chair to the head drops Show and it’s the Triple Jump Moonsault into an Arabian Facebuster for two. The referee is up but Sabu grabs the bell anyway and unloads on Show for the DQ (minus the bell ringing because it’s in use).

Rating: D. I’m not sure what they were going for here, as we have established that Big Show can beat Sabu with the weapons, but now we need to prove that Sabu can’t do anything without them? This seemed to be more of a way to take the night off from finding anything new, while also keeping Sabu hot. Given the talent depth at the moment, that isn’t the worst idea.

Post match Sabu knocks Show off an apron and through a table at ringside to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. The shows still aren’t goo, but at least this one went by fast and felt quick. It can take a lot out of a show to have it feel like it’s never going to end but the short matches in the middle helped a lot. If you ignore the bad quality, boring stars being brought in and lack of good stories, the show might get close to not being awful most weeks.

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ECW on Sci Fi
Date: August 15, 2006
Location: Verizon Center, Washington DC
Attendance: 8,500
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Summerslam and that means we need a title match set. In this case that is likely to mean something involving Sabu, Kurt Angle and Rob Van Dam, the latter of whom returned last week to interfere and break up a #1 contenders match between the others. Other than that, expect the ECW Originals to look really pathetic. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at Van Dam returning last week and taking out Sabu and Angle.

Paul Heyman, with Big Show, announces that Angle has suffered a torn groin muscle and will not be wrestling in tonight’s triple threat #1 contenders ladder match. Instead it will be Sabu vs. Van Dam and it will be EXTREME. And that, unless he has an interview or pre-taped segment, is the last we’ll see of Angle in WWE for over ten years.

Opening sequence.

Here is Mick Foley as our designated guest star of the week. Foley talks about Ric Flair being invited to come here tonight but Flair seems to have turned down the offer. With Flair not here, Foley has the chance to talk about Flair’s accusations that Foley was nothing until he fell off the Cell. Foley remembers it differently, because he was thrown off and put on a stretcher but he wasn’t quitting because he would have thought less of himself.

What Flair has never understood, Foley’s career is built around being able to look in the mirror. Foley is doing that on Monday morning and as busted open as he will be, he is going to like what he sees. Foley may be a bestselling author, but the words I-Q-U-I-T are not in his vocabulary. Since there is no Flair here though, Foley has some guests tonight.

First up is Kelly Kelly, followed by Melina. It’s time to do something Foley has never done before: a three way dance! This goes as well as you would expect, including Flair running in to go after Foley and send him into the steps. Foley is bleeding from his mouth as Flair chokes him with his belt. Flair swears the Foley will quit at Summerslam before walking away. They were both feeling it here.

Shannon Moore tells us to question authority.

CM Punk vs. Justin Credible

Credible actually gets an inset promo, promising to prove that Punk’s debut win was just a fluke. The fans are WAY into Punk and he strikes Credible down in a hurry to start. A running clothesline in the corner connects, followed by a running knee. Credible counters a spinning high crossbody into a gutbuster but Punk slips out of a suplex. The running knee in the corner sets up the Rock Bottom into the Anaconda Vice for the pin. This would be it for Credible, as the Originals lose another, meaning nothing is really going to change.

Video on Rob Van Dam.

Rob Van Dam is sitting on a ladder, where he talks about wanting the ECW Title back. Nothing is going to stop him, no matter how homicidal, suicidal or genocidal. Then he’s going on to Summerslam to take the ECW Title from Big Show.

Rene Dupree says he’s a beautiful man, but now he is going to prove that he’s hardcore.

FBI vs. Mike Knox/Test

Kelly Kelly is here with the non-Italians. Knox takes Nunzio into the corner and slams him down without much effort. The stomping is on and it’s off to Test for a backbreaker into a side slam. Mamaluke comes in so Test kicks Guido in the face and TKOs Mamaluke for the pin. Total squash.

Post match Tommy Dreamer and Sandman run in to clear the ring. Knox hides behind Kelly that’s what he does.

Video on Sabu.

Sabu is ready for Big Show and will sacrifice anything to win.

Heyman is giving Big Show a pep talk when Kurt Angle runs in to go after both of them. Security takes him down and Angle is handcuffed and arrested. Show wants to press charges. So I’m guessing that’s it for him.

Sabu vs. Rob Van Dam

Ladder match with the winner facing Big Show for the title on Sunday. Sabu doesn’t look thrilled with the fans grabbing at him on the way in but he dives at Van Dam’s leg to start. We get a wide shot of the contract and the lights in the arena are really low despite a decent crowd. Either they’re focusing on the ring more so than usual or no one showed up for ECW. Rob kicks away but gets crotched on top.

In something that makes sense for Van Dam, he tried to jump from the top to grab the contract. It doesn’t work of course, but points for trying something different. Sabu clotheslines him to the floor but Rob is right back with a baseball slide to drive the ladder into his face. Back from a break with Sabu sending him face first into the ladder and driving him into the ladder again with the Arabian facebuster. Rob shoves the ladder over though and then drops Sabu onto it, setting up the spinning legdrop.

The ladder is monkey flipped onto Sabu to put them both down but Rolling Thunder only hits ladder. There’s the Triple Jump Moonsault but the Atomic Arabian Facebuster only hits ladder. Rob gets pulled off the ladder but he kicks Sabu down and hits a quick Five Star. That means Van Dam can go up but here’s Big Show to put him through a table. Show orders the contract down so Sabu dives onto show and pulls it down for the win.

Rating: C. The ending wasn’t exactly in doubt here as they had built up Sabu for weeks, but Van Dam is the kind of person who could get into a major title match at the drop of a hat. They also did a nice job of throwing in a fresh ending, which is so rare in a ladder match. It was smart to put Sabu in a match like this to protect him and I’d assume that is going to be the same on Sunday.

Show destroys Sabu again to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was a bit better show than in recent weeks, mainly because one of the ECW people actually won something for a change. You can see the writing on the wall (it’s in REALLY big letters) around here though as ECW is going under in a hurry. Van Dam, Sabu and maybe Dreamer are about all the original brand has to offer and I’m not sure how much longer they are going to matter anyway. Not a terrible show here, but that feels like a rarity instead of a good sign for the future.

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