ECW on Sci Fi
Date: August 22, 2006
Location: Wachovia Arena, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

Summerslam has come and gone and that means it is time for Big Show to find a new challenger. Sabu gave him a run for at least a few dollars before falling to the giant, like so many others have so far. Hopefully they can find someone new to come after the title, though Kurt Angle is no longer an option. Let’s get to it.

Here is Summerslam if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

We open with an Extreme Bikini Contest between Torrie Wilson and Kelly Kelly. Torrie goes first but here are Mike Knox and Test to tell Kelly she can’t do this. Sandman and Tommy Dreamer run in to chase them off and let’s have a six person tag.

Torrie Wilson/Sandman/Tommy Dreamer vs. Kelly Kelly/Test/Mike Knox

The brawl is on to start with Torrie sending Kelly into the corner for an early Stink Face. Test comes in to pound on Dreamer and Knox follows to add the stomping. Dreamer is sent into the corner and, after knocking Sandman off the apron, Test grabs a quickly broken bearhug. A neckbreaker gets Dreamer out of trouble and the hot tag brings in Sandman. House is cleaned and Sandman hits the Rolling Rock for two on Knox. Sandman gets shoved off the ropes but Knox misses the middle rope legdrop, allowing Dreamer to grab the DDT for the pin.

Rating: D. This was all about Torrie standing on the apron in a swimsuit with her back facing the camera. I get the idea, though it’s not like they were hiding the idea. The match came and went, but it’s nice to see the ECW Originals getting a win for a change, because they haven’t done a thing of note against anyone but themselves in weeks.

Big Show tells Heyman not to worry about Sabu because he has a plan.

Matt Striker knows that fans are not smart enough to understand him but what matters is that he’s smarter than you and his brains are coming to ECW.

Kevin Thorn vs. Balls Mahoney

Extreme Rules and Ariel is here with Thorn. Mahoney strikes away to start and kicks Thorn to the floor, where the slugout is on again. Back in and Thorn gets in a few cane shots, including one to the throat. Mahoney grabs a sitout spinebuster but Ariel bites his leg, allowing Thorn to kick a chair into Mahoney’s face. The hanging Stunner finishes Mahoney in a hurry.

Shannon Moore says the system is impressive.

CM Punk vs. Christopher W. Anderson

Anderson drives him into the corner to start and nails a left to the ribs, sending commentary into a quick Abbott and Costello routine. Punk is back with something like an Octopus over the ropes, setting up a sunset flip for two. The running knee in the corner rocks Anderson but he’s back with a spinebuster for two. Not that it matters as Punk slaps on the Anaconda Vice for the fast tap.

Sabu promises to beat Big Show tonight.

Marine trailer.

Paul Heyman gives the newest ECW star a pep talk about how they have been held back for his entire career. There are enemies around here but he can make it if he makes an impact. It’s Hardcore Holly, as ECW continues to not exactly look strong. That being said, Holly’s bull, hard hitting stuff does seem like it could fit here.

Rob Van Dam vs. Danny Doring

The grappling doesn’t go very far to start so Van Dam kicks him down in a hurry. Doring takes him to the mat, only to get kicked in the face again. The top rope kick to the face into Rolling Thunder sets up the Five Star for the fast pin.

Post match here’s Hardcore Holly to beat both of them down with a chair. Van Dam gets an Alabama Slam for a bonus, just to make sure you didn’t think you were getting a Holly vs. Doring feud.

Rene Dupree is still coming.

ECW World Title: Big Show vs. Sabu

Show is defending and this isn’t Extreme Rules. After the Big Match Intros, Show headbutts him down and hammers away as the destruction is on early. Sabu gets dropped ribs first onto the top rope and we take a break. Back with Show hitting a clothesline into the bearhug but the referee gets bumped.

A fall away slam sends Sabu flying so he grabs a chair and blasts Show to limited avail. Sabu’s middle rope chair to the head drops Show and it’s the Triple Jump Moonsault into an Arabian Facebuster for two. The referee is up but Sabu grabs the bell anyway and unloads on Show for the DQ (minus the bell ringing because it’s in use).

Rating: D. I’m not sure what they were going for here, as we have established that Big Show can beat Sabu with the weapons, but now we need to prove that Sabu can’t do anything without them? This seemed to be more of a way to take the night off from finding anything new, while also keeping Sabu hot. Given the talent depth at the moment, that isn’t the worst idea.

Post match Sabu knocks Show off an apron and through a table at ringside to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. The shows still aren’t goo, but at least this one went by fast and felt quick. It can take a lot out of a show to have it feel like it’s never going to end but the short matches in the middle helped a lot. If you ignore the bad quality, boring stars being brought in and lack of good stories, the show might get close to not being awful most weeks.

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ECW on Sci Fi
Date: August 15, 2006
Location: Verizon Center, Washington DC
Attendance: 8,500
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Summerslam and that means we need a title match set. In this case that is likely to mean something involving Sabu, Kurt Angle and Rob Van Dam, the latter of whom returned last week to interfere and break up a #1 contenders match between the others. Other than that, expect the ECW Originals to look really pathetic. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at Van Dam returning last week and taking out Sabu and Angle.

Paul Heyman, with Big Show, announces that Angle has suffered a torn groin muscle and will not be wrestling in tonight’s triple threat #1 contenders ladder match. Instead it will be Sabu vs. Van Dam and it will be EXTREME. And that, unless he has an interview or pre-taped segment, is the last we’ll see of Angle in WWE for over ten years.

Opening sequence.

Here is Mick Foley as our designated guest star of the week. Foley talks about Ric Flair being invited to come here tonight but Flair seems to have turned down the offer. With Flair not here, Foley has the chance to talk about Flair’s accusations that Foley was nothing until he fell off the Cell. Foley remembers it differently, because he was thrown off and put on a stretcher but he wasn’t quitting because he would have thought less of himself.

What Flair has never understood, Foley’s career is built around being able to look in the mirror. Foley is doing that on Monday morning and as busted open as he will be, he is going to like what he sees. Foley may be a bestselling author, but the words I-Q-U-I-T are not in his vocabulary. Since there is no Flair here though, Foley has some guests tonight.

First up is Kelly Kelly, followed by Melina. It’s time to do something Foley has never done before: a three way dance! This goes as well as you would expect, including Flair running in to go after Foley and send him into the steps. Foley is bleeding from his mouth as Flair chokes him with his belt. Flair swears the Foley will quit at Summerslam before walking away. They were both feeling it here.

Shannon Moore tells us to question authority.

CM Punk vs. Justin Credible

Credible actually gets an inset promo, promising to prove that Punk’s debut win was just a fluke. The fans are WAY into Punk and he strikes Credible down in a hurry to start. A running clothesline in the corner connects, followed by a running knee. Credible counters a spinning high crossbody into a gutbuster but Punk slips out of a suplex. The running knee in the corner sets up the Rock Bottom into the Anaconda Vice for the pin. This would be it for Credible, as the Originals lose another, meaning nothing is really going to change.

Video on Rob Van Dam.

Rob Van Dam is sitting on a ladder, where he talks about wanting the ECW Title back. Nothing is going to stop him, no matter how homicidal, suicidal or genocidal. Then he’s going on to Summerslam to take the ECW Title from Big Show.

Rene Dupree says he’s a beautiful man, but now he is going to prove that he’s hardcore.

FBI vs. Mike Knox/Test

Kelly Kelly is here with the non-Italians. Knox takes Nunzio into the corner and slams him down without much effort. The stomping is on and it’s off to Test for a backbreaker into a side slam. Mamaluke comes in so Test kicks Guido in the face and TKOs Mamaluke for the pin. Total squash.

Post match Tommy Dreamer and Sandman run in to clear the ring. Knox hides behind Kelly that’s what he does.

Video on Sabu.

Sabu is ready for Big Show and will sacrifice anything to win.

Heyman is giving Big Show a pep talk when Kurt Angle runs in to go after both of them. Security takes him down and Angle is handcuffed and arrested. Show wants to press charges. So I’m guessing that’s it for him.

Sabu vs. Rob Van Dam

Ladder match with the winner facing Big Show for the title on Sunday. Sabu doesn’t look thrilled with the fans grabbing at him on the way in but he dives at Van Dam’s leg to start. We get a wide shot of the contract and the lights in the arena are really low despite a decent crowd. Either they’re focusing on the ring more so than usual or no one showed up for ECW. Rob kicks away but gets crotched on top.

In something that makes sense for Van Dam, he tried to jump from the top to grab the contract. It doesn’t work of course, but points for trying something different. Sabu clotheslines him to the floor but Rob is right back with a baseball slide to drive the ladder into his face. Back from a break with Sabu sending him face first into the ladder and driving him into the ladder again with the Arabian facebuster. Rob shoves the ladder over though and then drops Sabu onto it, setting up the spinning legdrop.

The ladder is monkey flipped onto Sabu to put them both down but Rolling Thunder only hits ladder. There’s the Triple Jump Moonsault but the Atomic Arabian Facebuster only hits ladder. Rob gets pulled off the ladder but he kicks Sabu down and hits a quick Five Star. That means Van Dam can go up but here’s Big Show to put him through a table. Show orders the contract down so Sabu dives onto show and pulls it down for the win.

Rating: C. The ending wasn’t exactly in doubt here as they had built up Sabu for weeks, but Van Dam is the kind of person who could get into a major title match at the drop of a hat. They also did a nice job of throwing in a fresh ending, which is so rare in a ladder match. It was smart to put Sabu in a match like this to protect him and I’d assume that is going to be the same on Sunday.

Show destroys Sabu again to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was a bit better show than in recent weeks, mainly because one of the ECW people actually won something for a change. You can see the writing on the wall (it’s in REALLY big letters) around here though as ECW is going under in a hurry. Van Dam, Sabu and maybe Dreamer are about all the original brand has to offer and I’m not sure how much longer they are going to matter anyway. Not a terrible show here, but that feels like a rarity instead of a good sign for the future.

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IMG Credit: WWE

ECW On Sci Fi
Date: July 4, 2006
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Joey Styles, Taz

Things are not looking up for ECW at the moment as Rob Van Dam lost the WWE Championship the previous night on Raw. That’s one heck of a loss for ECW but they still have their own championship around Van Dam’s waist. What more could go wrong on back to back nights? Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Paul Heyman welcomes us to the show and talks about Van Dam losing last night. That’s because Van Dam has been putting himself through a rough schedule as a double champion (indeed, for all three weeks of his reign). Big Show storms in and demands a title shot tonight. Oh here we go.

Opening sequence.

We open with Kelly’s Expose: Salute To America, meaning she strips off American flag gear this time. As usual, Mike Knox cuts it off just in time.

Mike Knox vs. Guido

Before the match, Knox says he’s sorry but only he gets to look at Kelly. Guido jumps him from behind but gets hit in the face for his efforts. A backbreaker gets two as the fans give us a YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chant. Some knees to the neck give Knox two and he hits four straight slams. Knox misses a running knee, only to come back with a big boot. The spinning Downward Spiral finishes Guido without much effort.

Rating: D. And yeah you can really see ECW slipping away. Bless those ECW fans for trying, but this isn’t the same as the old deal and I don’t think they have accepted that yet. This is going to be the world of the interchangeable big men who fit the WWE style destroying the ECW Originals and we just got a good illustration of that style.

We look at Van Dam losing the title last night.

Van Dam comes in to see Heyman and demands to defend against Big Show tonight. He isn’t letting the big guys run them over and he’s fighting tonight. If he loses then so be it, but he’s not backing down.

Video on Test.

A bald man jumps the barricade and grabs the mic to complain about all of the filth that he is seeing around here. This program should not be on TV and you should all be ashamed of yourselves. If you enjoy ECW, you are a sinner who will burn in h***. Security tells him to go back over the barricade. Sandman, cane, same as always.

Van Dam comes into Big Show’s locker room and slaps him in the face to accept the challenge.

Post break, Van Dam yells at Heyman for asking where his head is. Van Dam is here because they are ECW and stick to their guns. He has to beat Big Show to be a real champion, which Heyman says is right. The title match is on and it’s Extreme Rules.

Test vs. Al Snow

Test is jacked and comes out to silence. The fans do pop for Snow, but are quickly quieted down as Test runs him over in the corner. A TKO ends Snow in a hurry.

Post match Test kicks Head into the crowd.

Video on Sabu (who talks, which should not be the case like, ever).

The Vampire is outside and spits blood at the camera.

And now, we meet a guy with a bunch of tattoos who is addicted to competition. His name is CM Punk.

ECW World Title: Big Show vs. Rob Van Dam

Van Dam is defending and it’s Extreme Rules, meaning we do get a weapons check before the bell (granted that might have been to fill time during the break). Rob slugs away to little avail as Show runs him over with a shoulder. A headbutt puts Van Dam on the floor and the fans let Show know he can’t wrestle. Show clotheslines him over the barricade and they walk in front of the fans in the front row. There is no random swearing or violence so you can tell that this isn’t a real ECW crowd. Rob manages to jump onto the barricade for a kick to the head and we take a break.

Back with Rob hitting a springboard kick to the face but Show catches him on top with a superplex. Show kicks him in the head to keep him down and then stands on Van Dam’s chest in the corner. The fans chant for marijuana as Show drops some elbows for two. A bearhug doesn’t last long so Show switches to a backbreaker and bends Van Dam’s back over his knee. Van Dam knees his way to freedom and kicks the knee out, followed by a basement crossbody.

Rolling Thunder gets two and there’s a running spinwheel kick in the corner. Show catches him in the air though and tosses Van Dam outside. The steps are picked up but Van Dam gets in a drop toehold to send Show face first into them. Van Dam goes up top but Show pulls the dive out of the air in an impressive catch. Rob’s chair is swatted away and there’s a chokeslam for two.

Show knocks the referee away and grabs a powerbomb, only to have Van Dam chair him in the head. There’s the Van Daminator into the Five Star but there’s no referee. Cue Heyman to count two….and stop before three because we’ve got a screwjob. Show hits a nasty chair to the head and a chokeslam onto the chair gives Show the pin and the title with Heyman counting the pin.

Rating: C-. Ignoring all of the shenanigans and the necessity of the title change, the match was only ok at best, with Show doing his power stuff and Van Dam bouncing off of him over and over. Then you got to the ending, which was telegraphed but again, they didn’t have much of a choice. Van Dam had to drop the title to someone and other than Kurt Angle, who he beat last week, who else was there but Big Show? Sure it was about as close to the Survivor Series 2002 story with Van Dam in Brock Lesnar’s place, but they didn’t have much of an option otherwise.

Overall Rating: D. We’re four weeks into this and you can see the writing on the wall for ECW. This show was dominated by big men who would have never been a focal point in the original ECW and the wrestling was bad on top of that. I don’t think anyone was realistically thinking that ECW was going to be like the old days again but they didn’t waste time in making the ECW guys look like Barry and the Horowitzes. Not a good show, but you kind of had to expect something like this to happen sooner or later. It’s just the third WWE brand now, and it’s probably better to cut off the false hope before it gets sad.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 3, 2006
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 15,993
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Then Rob Van Dam and Sabu got pulled over and the police found a bunch of drugs, meaning they had to be punished. This is quite the problem when you’re the WWE Champion and have a title defense coming up in a few weeks. Tonight will probably deal with the fallout so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last week’s DX’s parody and their most recent humiliation of the McMahons.

DX arrives in the parking lot and is greeted by Jonathan Coachman and a bunch of security guards. Vince McMahon has barred them from appearing on the show tonight and Shawn Michaels wants to know what they’re supposed to do tonight. HHH has an idea and the team walks away. I have a bad feeling about this.

Opening sequence.

Here are Edge and Lita for an opening chat. Edge promises that he is going to own the summer and tomorrow night, he is getting his shot against Rob Van Dam. Then it’s on to Saturday Night’s Main Event where he will defend against Van Dam and John Cena. Those two are like the Philadelphia Phillies and the Philadelphia Eagles, with various insults ensuing. For tonight though, Lita is going to show Torrie Wilson what a cover girl is supposed to look like and Edge is in a triple threat tag team match.

Edge is about to announce his partner but here’s Cena to beat him up. Cue Van Dam, who has heard about how close he was to tapping out. He’s a fighting champion, so Cena can have a title shot tonight. Edge says that’s not fair because he would lose his title shot tomorrow night if Cena wins. That’s cool with Van Dam, so let’s do Saturday Night’s Main Event tonight with a triple threat title match. Edge promises that the next WWE Champion will be Rated R, but Van Dam says the next champion will be Rated RVD. Maybe he does need the suspension to clear his head a bit.

Vince McMahon arrives in the back with Coach greeting him. DX is indeed gone, much to Vince’s approval. The two of them walk inside….and DX drives up in a convertible with women in the back. Where did they get the car?

Batista is back this Friday.

Lita vs. Torrie Wilson

Lita suplexes her down for two to start and gets the same off a Russian legsweep. A knee to the back lets Lita mock her a bit so Torrie slaps her in the face. The comeback is on with some clotheslines but the referee takes the Stink Face by mistake. Lita DDTs her to end the annoyance.

Vince yells at Coach about making sure DX is gone. It feels like a ghost town around here and Vince wants to know what is going on.

Spirit Squad vs. Eugene/Jim Duggan/Viscera/Val Venis/Gene Snitsky

What a horrible assortment of losers, but at least they have the matching cheerleader uniforms. Nicky and Venis start things off and some cheap shots from the apron have Val in early trouble. A suplex allows Venis to make the tag off to Eugene but Johnny comes in off the blind tag to kick him down.

It’s off to Kenny for a jumping back elbow and Mitch comes in for the cover. The rotating beatdown ensues until Kenny misses a splash in the corner. The hot tag brings in Snitsky to clean house as everything breaks down. Duggan gets a rather strong reaction but is sent outside in a hurry. A top rope legdrop/Swanton combination finishes Snitsky.

Rating: D. There’s only so much you can get out of this but it’s the kind of thing that the Squad needed after so many bad losses. The menagerie of numskulls getting to lose to the Squad doesn’t have anything else going on so this wasn’t quite the devastating defeat. It’s going to give the Squad a bit of a push to their next loss to DX though so this is as good as it’s going to get for them at the moment.

We go back to the parking lot where DX is having a 4^th of July bash with Shawn working the grill and the women nearby. We get various hot dog jokes about McMahon and DX, but HHH sees Mr. Fuji over there. Shawn: “I LOVE MR. FUJI!” Shawn goes over to see him so HHH has some women come up and flash a WWE bus driver (with the camera not doing the best job of covering things up as the girls walk off). Shawn comes back and is disappointed by the lack of Mr. Fuji. As for the Spirit Squad, they can come out here and take their beating whenever they like.

Highlanders vs. Rob Conway/Matt Striker

Rory headbutts Striker down to start and hammers away in the corner, complete with putting his kilt over Striker’s face. Robbie come in for a Junkyard Dog style headbutt to Conway, who has to suplex his way to freedom. Striker is good without coming back in though, leaving Conway to take the Scot Drop (double fireman’s carry into a faceplant) for the pin. Short and inoffensive as a way to get the team’s feet wet.

Candice Michelle comes up to HHH as Shawn is off in the TV production truck. HHH seems to have some issues standing and then Candice has the same problem. Various issues ensue, complete with Candice shouting YES over and over. They both seem rather relieved and two women pop up from underneath the table. That’s rather risque for this era.

Post break, Shawn tells HHH to come into the control truck, with Candice and the other two girls going with them. There are cameras all over the arena and after having the women get to know one of the production guys over there, Shawn sits down and starts pushing buttons. The feed goes out but they’re still on the air.

Vince goes to the restroom and of course there is a camera in there, which of course WWE has access to. Vince gives commentary (Andre the Giant is mentioned) but Coach comes in to say that Vince is on camera (with Coach’s leg being moistened), freaking the boss out.

Post break here is Vince in the ring to talk about how humiliating last week is. DX is out there in the parking lot with their barbecue but now they are humiliating him and that’s too much. The mic cuts out and we get some noises, as Vince isn’t happy again.

Vince’s voice is suddenly very high pitched before going to the other direction, with Vince saying he sounds like Darth Vader. Then we get a picture of a rooster drawn on screen, with a word balloon saying “I LOVE COCKS”. HHH’s voice comes over the loud speaker and he says DX can humiliate him even further….so we see last week’s human waste drop again. Vince tells Coach to go deal with this so we see Shawn knocking Coach down with the door of the production truck.

The livid Vince makes DX vs. the Spirit Squad in an elimination tag. That sounds like a very bad idea and the laughter sound effects seem to agree. Then we get crickets instead of Vince’s music, which starts up a few seconds later….and is soon replaced by Stand Back. As funny as this kind of thing is going to get and was a long way around to set up a match that sounds like it should be a Raw main event.

Intercontinental Title: Johnny Nitro vs. Carlito

Nitro is defending and we get some extensive replays of Melina’s entrance. Carlito is taken into the corner to start and Nitro claims a poke to the eye before getting in a cheap shot. The dancing legdrop sets up the chinlock as Lawler talks about Melina’s maracas. Carlito fights up without much trouble with a clothesline and the springboard back elbow. The Backstabber connects but Melina comes in for the DQ.

Post match here’s Trish to start the catfight with Carlito standing back and watching. More replays, this time of Trish running to the ring and the brawl, ensue.

Paul Heyman isn’t sure about Rob Van Dam doing this but Van Dam believes in himself and ECW. Van Dam leaves and Heyman gives him that Brock Lesnar/Big Show Survivor Series 2002 look.

We meet the Diva Search finalists, including Maryse, Layla, Milena (Rosa Mendes) and various others.

Vince doesn’t care about Coach being banged up because he’s leaving and wants Coach to get the limo ready.

Umaga vs. Scott Wright

DX interrupts Armando Alejandro Estrada’s promo with a merchandise plug. Umaga would be a better enforcer for Vince than the Spirit Squad. The Samoan Spike finishes Wright in a little over a minute.

Post match, DX interrupts Estrada’s promo again, this time with various sound effects.

Vince gets in the limo….and a bunch of fireworks go off from it, complete with green smoke. After the driver pulls Vince, covered in smoke and green paint, DX pops up with American flags and sparklers. Happy Fourth of July.

This Week In Wrestling: the NWO debuts.

Here’s Randy Orton for a chat. He was inspired by the NWO video, but not as excited as he was by Brooke Hogan’s music video last week. That would be Hulk Hogan’s 18 year old daughter mind you. Hulk is going to pick Brooke’s date on an upcoming episode of Hogan Knows Best, and if Orton gets to be the pick, he’ll show Brooke why he’s a legend. Oh dear.

Edge says he’s going to win a title, unlike Philadelphia.

Raw World Title: Edge vs. John Cena vs. Rob Van Dam

Van Dam is defending and Edge gets double teamed in the corner to start. Rob and Cena start taking turns, with Van Dam hitting a running spinwheel kick in the corner. Edge gets tossed outside and we take an early break. Back with Edge breaking up Van Dam’s superplex attempt on Cena, who crashes out to the floor. The cartwheel moonsault gives Van Dam two on Edge but Cena pulls Edge outside for a whip into the steps. Rob is right there with a dive onto Cena but Edge is back in to break up the FU on Van Dam.

Cena loads up Edge in a suplex until Van Dam takes both of them down. A double clothesline puts all three down and it’s a three way slugout from their knees. Rob is sent outside and Cena initiates the finishing sequence on Edge. The FU puts Edge on the floor so Lita brings in a chair, earning herself an FU of her own. Van Dam is back in with the Van Daminator to Cena but the Five Star misses. There’s the FU to Van Dam but Edge is in with a belt shot to Cena for the pin on Van Dam and the title.

Rating: B. They kept things moving here and the match was better than I would have bet on as a result. Above all else they weren’t out there too long with the match only running about eleven minutes. Edge winning is quite the big moment and it’s the first time the title has changed hands on Raw since 2001. Good match here, as Van Dam’s main event push loses a leg in a single night.

Cut to a STUNNED Cena fan for a great visual as Edge celebrates (with Lita still down) to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Aside from the main event, which I liked quite a bit, this was a one note show with the entire night being about DX vs. Vince. That doesn’t exactly make for the best night, though there were at least some funny jokes. It isn’t a good feud because DX feels like they’re toying with Vince and the Spirit Squad, but it hasn’t gone on long enough to completely overstay its welcome. This week used up a lot of that mileage though, as this was a pretty rough show.

As for the title change, I’m not sure how much longer Van Dam was going to be champion anyway, as his title reign seemed to be little more than a way to warm up the debuting ECW. I can’t imagine him making it all the way to Summerslam as champion so there is a good chance that the title change would have gone the same way at Saturday Night’s Main Event. Either way, Van Dam looks like a moron for screwing up the biggest push of his career and it’s pretty hard to feel sorry for him.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

ECW On Sci Fi
Date: June 27, 2006
Location: Roanoke Civic Center, Roanoke, Virginia
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re back for round three and with Vengeance and the following Raw out of the way, Rob Van Dam has completely dispatched Edge and John Cena, meaning he will never have to deal with them again. I’m sure that won’t be a problem whatsoever, so tonight Van Dam gets to face Kurt Angle instead. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Sabu vs. Roadkill

No intro here as we go straight to the ring. Sabu knocks him down to start but it’s way too early for the camel clutch. It’s already time for the Triple Jump Moonsault but Roadkill knocks the chair out of his hand. The Barn Burner and an avalanche give Roadkill two each but he takes too much time getting out a table. Sabu hits the big dive off the chair to the floor but the Dirt Road Slam gives Roadkill two back inside.

The Vader Bomb gets the same but Roadkill takes too much time setting up the table (you may be noticing a pattern emerging). Sabu throws the chair at him for a low blow and hits a super hurricanrana. The Atomic Arabian Facebuster through the table sets up the camel clutch with the chair wrapped around Roadkill for the tap.

Rating: D+. They were moving as fast as they could here and that’s what they should have done. Sabu has been one of the major focal points of ECW so far and that’s a good idea. He has a reputation and the fans care about him so it makes a lot of sense to have him slay a monster like this. Even if the monster is an Amish farmer for some reason.

The Vampire is still outside.

Tommy Dreamer calls out Big Show for another beating. Cue Big Show, so Dreamer slugs away to start, only to get slammed four straight times. The cobra clutch backbreaker leaves Dreamer laying again. Short and sweet for the second week in a row.

Kelly shows her boyfriend various things, then pulls up her bra and goes to the ring with him.

Kurt Angle talks about being a failure since April 2 because he hasn’t been a champion since then. His wife and daughter love him but he hates himself. Now he needs to make Rob Van Dam hurt so badly that he goes back in time and chooses a new job.

Mike Knox vs. Danny Doring

Kelly is here at ringside so Joey makes fun of Tazz for not being able to say exhibitionist. Knox runs Doring over but hang on as Kelly goes over to offer a special shot to some fan. That’s broken up so Kelly heads to the back, leaving Knox to shrug off Doring’s offense and hit what would become known as Sister Abigail for the fast pin. Knox won, but Kelly is what matters here and that is very obvious.

Test is coming. I know this because there is a graphic which says “TEST IS COMING”.

Post break Kelly has her Expose and just like last week, Knox breaks it up at the last second.

And now, a rather large man in a Ric Flair style robe comes out to strip. Sandman gets in his weekly cameo….and the guy strips even more, revealing the gyrating g-string. The beating ensues, as usual.

Paul Heyman hypes up Rob Van Dam for the upcoming triple threat title match at Saturday Night’s Main Event against Edge and John Cena. The catch though is Kurt Angle is in if he wins tonight and it’s a four way. Van Dam says it’s cool because he’s been smoking lately.

Edge and Lita take some seats in the front row. Post break, Tazz asks Edge what he’s doing here so Edge takes the mic and says he’s here to watch Angle vs. Van Dam. Then he’ll see who he’s fighting because he’s the whole f’ing show.

Kurt Angle vs. Rob Van Dam

Non-title. Angle drives him up against the rope to start and then takes it to the mat with no effort. A front facelock sends Van Dam straight to the ropes and this time he’s out with a monkey flip. Angle is fine with being on the mat again and starts working on the arm. Back up and Van Dam manages a kick to the face but gets shoved off the top and into the barricade for the crash.

We take a break and come back with Van Dam caught in a chinlock, which is another item on the list of reasons this feels like WWE instead of ECW. Rob jawbreaks his way to freedom but Angle snaps off the belly to belly to take over again. The bodyscissors goes on with Angle driving forearms into Van Dam’s head. Van Dam gets up so Angle German suplexes him back and it’s a reverse chinlock to keep Rob down. Back up again and Rob hits a spinwheel kick for his first breather in a few moments.

The comeback is on with a springboard kick to the face and some clotheslines, only to have Angle suplex him again. The Angle Slam and ankle lock are countered so Angle grabs the German suplex for two more. A kick to the face gives Rob two but Angle snatches the ankle to put him in serious trouble. Van Dam sends him to the floor for the break and hits a kick to the head back inside. The split legged moonsault gets two on Angle but he runs the corner for the belly to belly superplex. The straps go down but Rob reverses the Angle Slam into a DDT for two. Now the Five Star can retain the title.

Rating: B. Take Rob Van Dam and Kurt Angle, give them about eighteen minutes and let them have a good match. That’s one of those ideas that doesn’t need a lot of planning and it didn’t seem to here. Van Dam winning clean continues to make him look like the top star around here and doesn’t make it feel like a stretch in the process. That’s a tricky line to follow and they made it work well here.

Post match Edge applauds….and then runs in to spear Van Dam down. A display of affection with Lita ensues to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The main event is what matters here but when you add in Mike Knox, the Dreamer/Big Show deal, and the opener, there wasn’t much to see elsewhere. It’s also the third show in a row featuring a Raw guest star and given who else is on this show, that’s the best thing that the show could do. You’re only getting so far with Roadkill, Justin Credible and Balls Mahoney and I think that is becoming very clear in a hurry.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 26, 2006
Location: Crown Coliseum, Fayetteville, North Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after Vengeance and a grand total of pretty much nothing happened on the show. Other than Johnny Nitro winning the Intercontinental Title, it was one of the least important shows that WWE has put on in a very long time. We do have something important tonight though, as John Cena gets his rematch against Rob Van Dam for the WWE Title. Let’s get to it.

Here is Vengeance if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

JR and King run down the card.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James

Trish is challenging in her first match since Backlash when she badly injured her shoulder. Mickie goes right for the shoulder to start but Trish is out in a hurry. The threat of a hammerlock is countered into some right hands to the head and a spinebuster gives Trish two. A hurricanrana gives Trish two but Mickie kicks her in the face. The MickieDT retains the title in a hurry. Mickie spent almost as much time adjusting her top as she did fighting.

Post match here are Johnny Nitro and Melina, with Lawler being VERY glad to see Melina. Mickie leaves and Melina gives some insincere praise for the comeback match. Nitro is the only man holding singles gold on Raw and Trish is looking at the new top Diva in WWE. Trish goes after her but Nitro grabs Trish, drawing out Carlito for the save.

Post break, Carlito is ranting about Nitro when Trish comes up to thank him. Carlito rants in Spanish, which Trish agrees with in the form of “right, right.” Anyway she thanks him again and, in regards to the question on his short (spit or swallow), she whispers something in his ear, which he enthusiastically declares cool. Lawler is rather pleased by that result.

We look at DX tormenting Vince McMahon last week.

The Spirit Squad is ranting to Vince and Shane McMahon, but the latter tells them to watch tonight as the McMahons take care of DX.

We get some fan picks for Cena vs. Van Dam tonight.

Umaga vs. Kamala

This was set up after Umaga beat Eugene and had a staredown with Umaga. Armando Alejandro Estrada and Kim Chee are here too. Kamala chops away to start but gets knocked down, setting up the running hip attack in the corner to crush Kim Cheer for a bonus. The middle rope headbutt sets up the Samoan Spike to end the complete squash.

We go to the Diva Search casting special, featuring the Miz as emcee and Ashley Massaro as the big speaker. The Divas dance a lot and we see Brooke Adams, Layla El, Rosa Mendes and Maryse, none of whom are named. The finalists are out here tonight.

Here’s Torrie Wilson to unveil the summer Divas magazine. Believe it or not, the cover to the swimsuit magazine with Torrie Wilson is Torrie Wilson in a swimsuit. Cue Edge and Lita to interrupt and throw Torrie out in a hurry. Edge says he should be the star of the show and on the cover of magazines (the swimsuit may be implied). He should be the star around here and the fact that Rob Van Dam is defending against John Cena tonight is a joke.

If Edge doesn’t get a rematch, they’re leaving Raw. The fans think they suck so Edge and Lita leave through the crowd. Hold on though as they do stop by the merchandise stand where Edge takes his shirt (which should be in the center). They’re out the door, shirts in hand.

Here’s a banged up John Cena to talk about how One Night Stand wasn’t his finest hour. He could just storm through off with shirts under his arm or he could fight and earn a rematch. Tonight, he takes care of business.

Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Viscera/Val Venis

It’s the return of Cade/Murdoch, who were a decent team while they originally lasted. Cade hammers Venis down to start but Venis gets in a right hand to the face. It’s off to Murdoch via a hot tag and an atomic drop into a big boot has Venis down again. Cue Charlie Haas to talk to Lilian Garcia and that’s not cool with Viscera. The hot tag brings in Viscera and house is cleaned in a hurry but Charlie kisses Lilian, allowing Cade and Murdoch to finish with a High/Low (which we only see on the replay).

Rating: D. The match was just there for the sake of the angle, as you might be trying to find out why Viscera, Lilian Garcia and Charlie Haas are getting a story. Points enough for trying something out of an accident if nothing else, though I’m not sure how many miles they can get out of something like this.

We see Brooke Hogan’s music video for About Us.

Randy Orton liked what he saw in said video.

Shane McMahon is so excites for the match against DX that he hits some furniture with a baseball bat.

Here’s HHH, as Vince McMahon, for a chat. HHH says he’s going to come out here and ramble incoherently before DX takes him the McMahons tonight. It will be more embarrassing than having his pants taken down, than losing to Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania, or even than the XFL (that gets a gasp). Last week, DX sent him a rooster, suggesting that he loves cocks. In reality, he loves great men like Dick Ebersol, Dick Chaney and Dick Clark. He loves them of any size, shape and color. HHH: “I’ll even do an Asian!”

Cue Shane McMahon, as played by Shawn Michaels, meaning it’s a lot of dancing as HHH does the Vince ear pull. Shawn says he is the product of Vince’s semen. He even has it on his business card. He brings up Vince’s eventual death, which sets off another round of dancing. HHH: “Son, are you mildly retarded?” HHH says Shane must be mistaken because Stephanie is getting all of Vince’s money. HHH: “Stephanie and that guy who knocked her up.”

After hearing about what a stud that guy must be, Shawn talks about how he just needs one more shot and he’s so excited that he has to dance. HHH yells in his face to stop, sending Shawn straight down. Actually dancing doesn’t sound like a bad idea, so hit that STAND BACK. This goes on for a long time but the Hulk Hogan bass solo is enough to bring out the real Vince and Shane.

Cue the Spirit Squad to join the McMahons for the beatdown, but never mind because DX drops a bunch of human waste on them (apparently it smells bad). HHH: “Don’t worry: because of Shawn, it’s holy s***.” JR: “It’s indescribable what DX has done to the McMahons!” You mean when they imitated them and then dropped fake human waste on them? The parody was funny for a bit but went on too long. Then the other stuff…..just wasn’t, as always.

We look at Mick Foley vs. Ric Flair from Vengeance, with Flair being left beaten and bloody.

Flair, from is home in Charlotte, says that everything Foley did last night was proof that everything Flair wrote about him was true. Vengeance is sworn and Flair was all fired up here.

Paul Heyman talks to Rob Van Dam because he’s worried about the title match against Cena. Tonight it’s under WWE rules in a WWE ring with a WWE referee. Rob says it’s cool and he’s got this.

More fans give their Cena vs. Van Dam picks.

Kane vs. Randy Orton

Kane powers him into the corner to start but Orton gets in a shot to the face and two off a dropkick. A big boot and running clothesline in the corner rock Orton, setting up the top rope clothesline. Kane loads up the chokeslam but here’s Costume Kane, who Kane jumps in the aisle and knocks down. The distraction lets Orton hit the RKO for the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match that was more about the angle than anything else. Orton continues to be on a roll but there is only so much you can do with Kane vs. a fake Kane. The pay per view match wasn’t good in the first place so keeping the thing going doesn’t exactly sound great. Though at least it isn’t more See No Evil.

Post match Kane is back up and chokeslams Costume Kane twice in the ring and one more time on the stage. Kane drags him to the back and then to the back. Post break, Kane unmasks him (showing the bald head of Luke Gallows, though we don’t see the face) and throws him outside. If I remember right, the original plan was to say that Costume Kane was the real version and the one we had seen was a fake, but thankfully they realized that would have been even dumber than what we got so take the small wins where you can.

We see the Tough Enough finalists being selected (including a quick look at the Bella Twins). Brooke Adams is cut but Maryse makes it (there’s something awesome about Miz meeting his future wife being shown like this).

We look at Rob Van Dam winning the WWE Title from John Cena at One Night Stand under less than fair circumstances.

The Highlanders use a public restroom. Hilarity ensues and they debut next week.

Raw World Title: Rob Van Dam vs. John Cena

Cena is challenging and slugs away to start. Rob gets in a kick and heads up top, only to be shoved down hard in a crash as we take a break. Back with Rob fighting out of a chinlock and starting the slugout. That goes to Cena as well but this time Rob kicks him off the top instead. There’s the flip to the floor to drop Cena again and Rob hits a legdrop for two back inside. It’s time for a chair but Cena scores with the hard clothesline into the running shoulders.

The ProtoBomb into the Five Knuckle Shuffle looks to set up the FU but Rob slips out and hits a kick to the head. They slug it out again with Rob hitting another kick to the face, setting up a German suplex for two on Cena. The split legged moonsault gets the same and there’s the top rope kick to the face. Cena rolls away before the Five Star can launch and then gets his knees up to block Rolling Thunder. The FU sets up the STFU but Edge runs in for the DQ.

Rating: C+. They did what they could here and Cena was showing the fire that made him feel like a bigger star. The ending was a good way out if they weren’t going to change the title, but it didn’t exactly help Van Dam look like a star. Then again, just being champion doesn’t make Van Dam a bigger star than Cena and being beaten until Edge comes in is hardly some death sentence.

Post match Edge says he’ll see Van Dam tomorrow and leaves through the crowd.

Overall Rating: C. This was good enough but there are some things that aren’t exactly making me look forward to the future. Above all else, there is the Diva Search, which is going to be around for the next two months and bring the show to a grinding halt. I guess they need new models though. Other than that, Cena was showing fire and they are starting to plant seeds for Summerslam, but some of these things are not exactly making me interested in seeing where things are going. Not terrible, but the future isn’t looking bright.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Vengeance 2006
Date: June 25, 2006
Location: Charlotte Bobcats Arena, Charlotte, North Carolina
Attendance: 6,800
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s time for another Raw pay per view but this time around we have ECW invading as WWE continues to try to turn it into something again. This time around that means Edge challenging ECW/WWE Champion Rob Van Dam and John Cena vs. Sabu in an EXTREME Lumberjack match. I’m not sure how EXTREME you can make a lumberjack match but maybe Cena can make it work. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about vengeance meaning retaliation for an injustice and looks at all three of the big matches tonight, including the reunited DX vs. the Spirit Squad. I think you know what is getting the focus tonight.

Randy Orton vs. Kurt Angle

Lawler: “Tonight is about vengeance for Orton!” JR: “Touche.” They also mention that Orton’s Smackdown contract expired while he was recovering from his broken ankle, which is why he’s on Raw. I don’t think that has been mentioned before but I do appreciate closing a minor plot hole. Angle chases him into the ropes to start and then does it again for a bonus. A hammerlock into a rollup gives Angle two but the threat of the ankle lock sends Orton to the ropes again.

Angle again teases the German suplex to the floor before settling for a belly to back suplex on the floor instead. Back in and Angle smacks him in the back of the head over and over but Orton pokes him in the eye. A dropkick lets Orton throw him outside, followed by a whip into the barricade. The chinlock goes on back inside with Orton throwing his feet on the ropes like a true villain should. A pair of knee drops set up another chinlock as the crowd goes almost eerily silent.

Orton goes up top for no apparent reason other than to let Angle run the ropes for the belly to belly superplex (and dang did he get up there fast). The Angle Slam is countered into the backbreaker so Orton goes to unhook the turnbuckle pad. That takes too long though as Angle rolls eight straight German suplexes for his own near fall. The ankle lock is broken up and Orton gets the rest of the pad off. Now Angle picks the ankle but Orton rolls him into the buckle, setting up the RKO for the pin.

Rating: C+. It was a good enough match but you would have expected something else. Instead it was a pretty run of the mill match that would have been good as the feature match on Raw, making it an acceptable enough pay per view match. The ending should set up a trilogy match but it wasn’t exactly an instant classic.

Vince McMahon is on the phone and promises that the Spirit Squad will have their vengeance. A fan in a wheelchair comes in…..but he’s wearing a DX shirt so Vince thinks he’s a spy. Vince shoves him out the door and we hear a rather loud crash. Cue Coach with the special pump from Monday but he also asks if Vince can say hello to a family friend of his. He’s a kid in a wheelchair and he’ll probably be in it for the rest of his life. Vince gulps in an obvious yet funny payoff.

Umaga vs. Eugene

Before the match, Armando Alejandro Estrada says you can call all of the heroes you want, even AQUAMAN, and they won’t be able to stop Umaga. Jim Duggan, Doink the Clown and Umaga are here with Eugene. The USA chant starts and Doink sprays Umaga with a squirt gun so Eugene can hammer away. That’s it for the offense as Umaga kicks him down, hits the running hip attack, and finishes with the Spike in a hurry.

Post match Umaga wrecks the legends but Estrada says no to a fight with Kamala. Save it for Raw I guess.

Mick Foley cuts off Tod Grisham from stealing his cheap pop and has a quick public reading from Ric Flair’s novel. By that he means autobiography, but this all has to be fiction. Foley reads the section about himself, with Flair saying the hardcore stuff doesn’t make Foley a great wrestler, but rather a glorified stuntman. Tonight, Foley promises to add a new chapter to Flair’s novel: “How I Was Outwrestled By Mick Foley!”

Mick Foley vs. Ric Flair

2/3 falls. The fans are all over Foley, as you knew they would be. They trade arm work to start with Flair getting the better of it, as you would have probably expected. Back up and Foley unloads with right hands in the corner, followed by the double arm DDT. It’s time for the Ric Flair inspired Mr. Socko (it has feathers) but Flair grabs him low for the break. Flair even hits the top rope ax handle to the back but wrenches the knee on the way down. The leg is wrapped around the ropes and Foley tries a Figure Four but gets small packaged for the first fall.

Flair tries it again to start the second fall but they head outside instead, with Foley going knees first into the steps. A quick trip into the crowd goes badly for Flair and Foley rakes the eyes. Foley whips out a trashcan but gets caught in the Figure Four. The trashcan to the head breaks the hold but draws the DQ to give Flair the win in two straight falls.

Rating: D. I’ve never really liked this feud and this match didn’t change that opinion very much. This was rushed and mostly one sided, though the more confusing part was Foley talking about how he was going to try and have the worst match of his career and then being all serious and wrestling straight to start. It’s like they just dropped what they mentioned on Raw and that made things a little weird. The match wasn’t going to be good either way given the circumstances, but it should have been better than this.

Post match Foley finds the barbed wire baseball bat and busts Flair open badly.

Maria asks Carlito why people who try to be cool are the ones who aren’t cool and the ones who don’t try to be cool wind up being cool. Carlito: “I don’t know what you just said.” Then Torrie Wilson shows up in a swimsuit and Maria rubs oil on her for obvious reasons. Torrie reciprocates and Carlito is annoyed at his music playing.

Intercontinental Title: Carlito vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Johnny Nitro

Benjamin is defending and Carlito is rather flustered during his entrance. Melina is here with Nitro and accidentally distracts him at the bell, allowing Carlito to throw Nitro outside. Shelton is right on Carlito with a clothesline for two but Carlito rolls him up for the same. A headbutt has Shelton on the mat as Nitro comes back in, only to be sent outside again just as fast. Nitro gets back in again and hammers on Shelton but a catapult from Carlito sends him outside for a third time.

Carlito’s dive has to be abandoned and Nitro trips the leg to send him face first into the apron. With Nitro and Shelton fighting on the floor, Carlito hits a double springboard flip dive to take both of them out in a big crash. Back in and Nitro spins into a Russian legsweep for two on Carlito but he grabs a hurricanrana to put Nitro down. Shelton is back with a pop up faceplant to Carlito and there’s a Samoan drop for two, with Nitro making the save. Nitro gets dropped face first onto the top turnbuckle for two but he’s right back with a monkey flip to send Shelton into Carlito’s dropkick for two.

Carlito gets crotched on top and Shelton crotches Nitro into the Tree of Woe. Shelton jumps to the top for a superplex but Nitro pulls himself up for a German superplex out of the Tree of Woe for a Tower of Doom. Lawler doesn’t know what to call that, but he does know that he would have called it better than Tazz. Carlito hits a springboard double back elbow for two each and Nitro is sent outside. The Backstabber hits Shelton but Nitro pulls Carlito outside to steal the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. I can’t blame them for putting the title on Nitro as he is about all you could ask for in a midcard star. Throw in how much better Melina makes him and this was a pretty easy choice over Shelton, who has been stuck in limbo for a long time and Carlito, who only shows flashes of star power. Pretty good match too, with everyone moving at a fast pace.

The Spirit Squad is ready to destroy DX and here’s Vince to say no one makes a fool out of them. Tonight, they’re going to rid the world of DX like bird flu. With the Squad gone, Vince takes the pump from earlier and goes into the bathroom. He comes out a few seconds later with green paint on his face. Lawler: “We just witness a booby trapped penis pump!”

We recap Rob Van Dam becoming Mr. Money in the Bank at Wrestlemania and winning the title at One Night Stand, thanks to Edge. Tonight, Edge gets his shot.

Raw World Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Edge

Edge is challenging and has Lita with him. Before the match, Edge insults the Carolina Hurricanes hockey team for needing Canadians to win it for them. Edge goes with a quick takedown to start and even mocks the finger point. Van Dam tries a monkey flip out of the corner but Edge sticks the landing. Some kicks miss as well so Rob rolls him up for two instead. Another takedown sets up a standing moonsault for two and Edge pauses for a second.

The threat of Rolling Thunder sends Edge bailing to the floor so Van Dam hits a moonsault off the barricade. Lita offers a distraction though, allowing Edge to hit a sunset bomb to the floor (THUD, off a nasty landing). Back in and Lawler can’t shut up about Lita, sending JR into one of his great “is that all you think about” rants. Edge cranks on both arms at once but gets kicked to the apron, setting up a running crossbody to the floor.

The spinning kick to the back only hits barricade though and Edge powerbombs him into the barricade to make it much worse. Edge says on the back like a good villain and hits a big boot for two. Van Dam kicks away as well to get a breather though and a German suplex gives the champ two. Edge gets the same off a powerslam but Rob kicks him down again.

The split legged moonsault gives Van Dam two but he kicks the referee down by mistake. With no referee, Edge calls for the belt, which is kicked into his face. Van Dam gets crotched on top though, and the slightly busted open Edge hits a hanging DDT for a very delayed two. The spear is loaded up so Lita holds up a chair behind Rob for no logical reason. Edge spears it by mistake and Van Dam hits the Five Star to retain.

Rating: B-. Another good but not exactly memorable match here. These two can have a solid match together and they did so here, but the ending wasn’t great as there was little reason or Lita to put that chair up. The story was fine with Edge working the back throughout and it was good to give Van Dam his first major title defense, but not exactly an instant classic.

The ECW guys celebrate but here’s Paul Heyman to say there is one match to go. Tonight it’s the EXTREME lumberjack match but Vince McMahon has ruled that there will be an equal number of Raw lumberjacks. Heyman gives them the big pep talk and chanting ensues.

Kane vs. Impostor Kane

Real Kane slugs away to start and a clothesline puts Fake Kane over the top, where he lands on his feet. Back in and Fake chokes away in the corner but Real hits a shoulder and goes for the mask. The side slam gets Fake out of trouble and he hammers away, followed by a forearm to the chest for two. A powerslam gets the same and it’s already off to the chinlock.

With that broken up, the chokeslam attempt is countered with a rake to the face and Real hits a running DDT. Real unloads in the corner into some running clotheslines and a side slam as the fans want the mask removed. Real’s chokeslam is countered so he kicks Fake in the mask and goes up. The clothesline is countered into the chokeslam though to give Fake the pin.

Rating: D. Well that happened. I’m still not sure what the point of this is and I’m still not sure WWE does either, but the visual should have caught your eye. I know Kane needed a freshening up at this point but you would think they might have had something better than “here’s another Kane”. It was a fine enough power match, but the story itself has been rather lacking.

We recap John Cena vs. Sabu. Cena is hated by the ECW fans and Sabu attacked him to show what ECW is all about. Cena likes this new style so let’s have a lumberjack match.

Sabu vs. John Cena

EXTREME lumberjack match. Sabu jumps him to start as Cena is transfixed by the thought of Roadkill vs. Val Venis. Cena gets in a few shots to knock Sabu outside but this time it’s Sabu sending him outside so the lumberjacks can get in their shots. Sandman even canes Cena in the head and the triple jump moonsault gives Sabu two. The camel clutch is broken up in a hurry and Sabu kicks him low.

The triple jump legdrop gives Sabu two, followed by the Arabian Facebuster for the same. Air Sabu only hits corner though and it’s time for the lumberjacks to get in their big fight. Cena goes outside to join them until a chair shot takes him down. They can’t keep Cena on a table though as he grabs the kendo stick to knock Sabu silly. Cena pelts the chair at Sabu’s head and there’s the FU through the table at ringside. The STFU makes Sabu tap.

Rating: D+. The crowd helped this one a lot and Cena did what he could with what he was given. Sabu is an ECW legend but there is only so much value to him outside of ECW in 2006. You can’t have Cena lose to Sabu in this spot and that never felt like a possibility, making this about as good as it was going to get all things considered.

Post match Cena goes to the back and runs into Rob Van Dam, who acknowledges Cena’s guts. Van Dam says Cena can have his rematch for the spinner belt on Raw. Cena says the title is his life so he’ll see Van Dam tomorrow.

We recap DX vs. the Spirit Squad. It started with Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon back in December when Shawn told Vince to let Montreal go already. Vince swore vengeance and eventually brought in the Squad to take care of things. This included getting HHH to help, eventually leading to DX reuniting to fight off the Squad and torment Vince with some HILARIOUS jokes. Tonight is the showdown.

D-Generation X vs. Spirit Squad

Non-title. Mitch and Shawn start things off with Shawn easily taking him down and walking over Mitch’s back. A few right hands put Shawn into the corner but he reverses Mitch and chops away some more. Shawn has to fight out of the Squad’s corner so HHH comes in to start cleaning house without much trouble. Johnny is busted open so he comes in anyway and does a karate pose. HHH punches him down anyway and hits the crotch chop knee drop.

There’s a hard Irish whip into the corner and Shawn crotches Mikey against the post. The legs are wrapped around the post as well (JR: “His knees are broken, his package is bruised.”) The Squad finally gets HHH outside though and there’s a group whip into the steps to take over. A neckbreaker gets HHH out of trouble though and it’s back to Shawn to clean house.

Johnny manages a spinning kick to the face though and the numbers game starts putting Shawn in trouble. There’s a chair to the face to put Shawn down again and a trampoline bulldog gives Mikey two. Kenny comes in to hammer away and then launches Nicky into the corner for two more off a splash. A double flapjack gets another two and we hit a chinlock from Kenny.

The nearly required double clothesline puts them both down but it’s way too early for the hot tag to HHH. A double DDT gets Shawn out of trouble and NOW it’s back to HHH to start cleaning house. Right hands and spinebusters abound but Nicky saves Kenny from the Pedigree. Mikey’s trampoline flip dive takes out his partners by mistake and it’s a Pedigree/superkick for the stereo pins.

Rating: C-. What else were you expecting? I’m really not sure what else to say here and how could you have had any other expectations coming in? You have the pretty good Kenny and four other guys against two legends who work well together. What else could this have been given the circumstances? The Spirit Squad is little more than an annoyance and DX treated them as just that here. Why would I need to see something like this again?

Post match DX beats up the rest of the Squad and Mitch gets to join HHH’s club (what a visual). Vince comes out to say he’ll see DX tomorrow night to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. And now you probably never have to think about this show again. This is by no means a bad show or anywhere close to one, but it is the kind of show where it felt like it took place because they were required to put one on. That doesn’t make for the most thrilling of events and while there are some nice matches, nothing on here is worth going out of your way to see and nothing is even very good. Totally skippable show and one of the more forgettable WWE has put on in a long time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

ECW On Sci Fi
Date: June 20, 2006
Location: Pepsi Arena, Albany, New York
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

Well after last week’s mess, they don’t have the highest bar to clear. It would be nice to have something that actually feels like ECW, which is why we have Edge and Randy Orton here tonight. It’s the go home show for Vengeance so expect a lot of talk about the matches there. We might even get some ECW stuff in here if we have time. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with an unnamed witch (Medium? Fortune teller?) turning Tarot cards as we hear about ECW invading Raw, causing Raw to come back here tonight.

Opening sequence.

Sabu vs. Tony Mamaluke

Trinity (now named) is here with Mamaluke as Tazz starts trying to get “Vixens” over for the ECW women. Sabu takes him down by the leg to start but Mamaluke is back with a knee to the head. A kick to the head gets two and Mamaluke starts in on the arm. That earns him a kick to the face and a slingshot legdrop to give Sabu two. With Mamaluke on the floor, Sabu uses a chair for a springboard dive to take him down again. Sabu whips out the table but gets chaired down. Mamaluke’s dive off the top is knocked out of the air by a chair being thrown into his face, setting up the camel clutch to give Sabu the win.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much but it already felt more like ECW than anything we saw last week. It was a polished, cleaned up WWE version of ECW, but it did feel more like ECW. Sabu gets a win to help warm him up for John Cena on Sunday, but other than that it was a bunch of dives and weapons shots until the finish.

Kelly promises to strip more than she did last week.

Rob Van Dam is ready to team with Kurt Angle against Edge and Randy Orton in a preview for Sunday. He needs to get rolling, but does come back for one more finger point.

Here’s an annoyed looking Big Show for a chat but Tommy Dreamer cuts him off. Dreamer says if Show wants to make a name for himself around here, he’ll have to go through Dreamer to do so. Dreamer slaps him in the face and the destruction is on in a hurry. The cobra clutch backbreaker into the regular cobra clutch leaves Dreamer laying as Show walks away. Dreamer smiles a lot because he’s kind of loopy. It’s good to see that nothing has changed.

The vampire is outside again.

And now, Macho Libre. Before his match, Libre gives us a luchador style Randy Savage ECW and says he’s looking for a fight. SNAP INTO IT! I think you know where this is going.

Sandman vs. Macho Libre

Macho offers to tell him something (something, something, something, something OH YEAH) and gets caned down for about twenty seconds for the pin. This was funnier than the Zombie, but not by much.

John Cena arrives in the back and is surrounded by ECW. As Paul Heyman holds Sabu back, Cena says he knows all of the extreme things they have planned for him on Sunday. He knows they don’t like him, but Heyman can bring everyone he has on Sunday. Let’s make it an Extreme Lumberjack match because all he wants on Sunday is a chance to go down swinging. Cena glares at Rob Van Dam, turns around, and leaves.

Kelly comes out for her Expose. After a lot of dancing, she manages to get her bra off this time but here’s a guy with a towel to cover her up and take her away. A lot of booing ensues.

Test is coming. A lot of booing should ensue, as he’s one of the least ECW guys you could bring back.

Edge/Randy Orton vs. Kurt Angle/Rob Van Dam

Lita is here with the Raw guys. Before the match, Edge makes it very clear: he thinks ECW and it’s fans SUCK. Angle goes straight for Edge’s leg to start and then throws him down with ease. It’s quickly off to Orton vs. Van Dam with Rob kicking his way out of trouble. Orton gets crotched on the top and a top rope kick knocks him to the floor. There’s the moonsault to take him down again but it’s quickly off to Edge, meaning Lita can low bridge Van Dam to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Angle breaking up Orton’s cover so Edge sends Van Dam outside in a heap. A whip sends Van Dam hard into the steps and Orton hits the good looking dropkick for two. Van Dam rolls over and makes the hot tag to Angle though and it’s time to roll the German suplexes. Edge is sent outside so Angle locks Orton’s ankle but Edge makes the save. Orton uses the distraction to chop block Angle down and it’s time to start working the knee.

Angle pulls Edge down into the choke so Lita rakes the eyes to break it up. A raised boot in the corner lets Angle snap off another German suplex and it’s Van Dam coming in to clean house. Everything breaks down and there’s an Angle Slam to Lita for daring to try a running belt shot. The RKO takes Angle down but Van Dam kicks Orton in the face again. Van Dam cuts off the spear with a belt shot to the face though and the Five Star is good for the pin.

Rating: C+. Pretty good main event tag match here and that’s what the show needed. What mattered here was making ECW look like they could hang with the best of Raw and it didn’t go too far off the deep end to do so. Van Dam and Angle are full fledged WWE main eventers so giving them this win isn’t a big jump up for them, but it makes ECW look better.

Overall Rating: D+. While I would still hesitate to call this show good, this was miles ahead of the disaster that we got last week. The main event was good, the Sandman thing could be turned into a funny weekly deal, and Sabu got some momentum heading into his big match against Cena. The big problems are still really obvious though: this is a WWE show in an ECW costume and there is almost nothing to the ECW roster outside of Van Dam and two WWE guys on loan. It’s not good, but it made last week feel like some opening night jitters and that’s a big sigh of relief.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 19, 2006
Location: Blue Cross Arena, Rochester, New York
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for Vengeance but at the same time, it is still a show about building up ECW, which only debuted last week. I’m not sure how well that is going to go, but ECW is angry at Raw for invading their debut. An angry ECW could reach the level of moderately annoying so Raw might be slightly irritated. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Vince McMahon is in his office to open things up and says that there will be no DX reunion because tonight is the DX destruction. As he goes to leave, a delivery man brings him a chicken, because word on the street is he locks cocks. Vince tells him to go choke his chicken because he isn’t in the mood tonight. Now Vince leaves his office, runs into an alien who mimics his walk, and stares him down to make the alien leave.

Then he runs into some male strippers, including (I believe, as he is slimmer here) Big Dick Johnson for some oily dancing. With that out of the way, Vince runs into Dusty Rhodes, who plugs his DVD. Maybe the strippers want to buy one! Dusty goes off to see if they have any change and a deliveryman comes up to ask Vince to sign for a package. It’s a penis enlarger pump (the Pistol Pump), but Vince storms off, swearing to destroy DX. So what would have happened if Vince had gone the other way when he came out of his office? Or just not left?

Anyway, Vince comes out to the ring and promises to put his shoe in a certain part of HHH and use the same shoe to kick Shawn Michaels in the head. Cue Shane McMahon, who says Vince needs to leave because Stephanie McMahon is in labor. That’s enough to get Vince to leave, though he doesn’t seem happy. We follow them to the back, where Vince puts Coach in charge. Vince: “My daughter Stephanie has always had the worst timing of anyone I know. Now she’s in labor. THAT B****!” Vince and Shane leave in the limo as Lawler cracks up a bit.

Torrie Wilson had a swimsuit photo shoot for WWE Magazine. JR: “I’m subscribing.”

Torrie Wilson/Maria vs. Mickie James/Candice Michelle

Bra and panties match. Candice slams Torrie down by the head to start but a sunset flip lets Torrie rip her shirt off. Mickie comes in and takes off Torrie’s pants before doing the same to Maria. The tops come off as well to give Mickie the win almost by herself.

Post match Mickie decks Candice and rips off her shorts as well. Mickie throws in her own version of the Go Daddy dance. Then she goes too far by stealing JR’s hat (JR: “That’s going on eBay.” Mickie even rips the shirt off of a fan for a bonus.

Charlie Haas vs. Viscera

Before the match, Viscera gives Haas one more chance to apologize for hurting Lilian Garcia. For some reason Haas thinks it’s a good idea to say that he and Lilian went to dinner for the apology last week, which she accepted over some pillow talk. Lilian doesn’t seem to agree and neither does Viscera as he knocks Haas outside with one shot. Back in and Viscera wants details on the pillow talk (JR: “I don’t think you want to know that Charlie.”). There’s the corner splash….and here’s the Spirit Squad to jump both of them for the surprise no contest.

Post match the beatdown is on, with the Squad managing an Upsa Daisy on Viscera. The Squad says they know DX is back, but they want to get them out here right now for the fight. DX pops up on screen with Shawn Michaels freaking out about being down five to two (Shawn: “THEY’RE GONNA MURDERIZE US!”) but HHH says they’re just cheerleaders. DX will be out there tonight, but it’s on their terms. For now, HHH has two words for them: look up. Slime falls down onto the Squad, meaning a lot of slipping and laughter ensues. Shawn paints DX on the camera lens because he doesn’t value company property.

Post break, the Squad tells Coach to take care of DX. Vince’s plan will still be enacted so they can go clean up. Coach goes into Vince’s office and finds Paul Heyman waiting for him. Heyman says tonight could go worse because ECW is in a bus in the parking lot ready to tear Raw apart.

Heyman is here with an offer though: since ECW on Sci Fi was the highest rated show on cable last Tuesday, he wants to share the love with Raw. So tomorrow night, how about a dream tag match? How about Edge/Randy Orton vs. Kurt Angle/Rob Van Dam? Coach makes the match but Heyman isn’t done. For tonight, how about John Cena vs. Balls Mahoney? That’s on too.

With the slime being cleaned up, we go to Kane, who knows who the Costumed Kane is. He has known this guy since he was a kid and the guy is even more screwed up than he is. Kane won’t say what he did but he seems worried. This is going to be stupid isn’t it?

Umaga vs. John McChesney

Umaga kicks him into the corner before Armando Alejandro Estrada gets out of the ring. There’s the Tree of Woe headbutt into the running Umaga attack and the Samoan Spike finishes in about a minute. JR barely had time to announce Eugene vs. Umaga at Vengeance.

Post match Umaga sends him outside and Estrada grabs the mic but the fans say his name with him, making Estrada give up.

John Cena vs. Balls Mahoney

Paul Heyman is here with Mahoney, who has his chair with him. They go right for the slugout to start and Cena hits his release fisherman’s suplex for two. The fans are all over Cena as he hammers away in the corner, until Mahoney gets in a poke to the eye. Mahoney hits the snap jabs (without the chants) and a kick to the face gets two. Cena fights back with shoulders into the finishing sequence but Heyman slips in the chair. That doesn’t seem to matter as Cena ducks the shot and pulls Mahoney into the STFU for the tap.

Post match here’s Sabu for a lot of swearing and a beatdown on Cena, including a top rope legdrop through the announcers’ table. JR: “GOD D*** IT GET THAT TRASH OUT OF HERE!” Cena is busted open as the ECW guys leave. He stands up and has that look in his eye, so of course you know this means war.

Post break, JR is REALLY mad about Cena being attacked. Or maybe it’s the table being broken.

Randy Orton vs. Snitsky

I had forgotten Snitsky was still employed. Orton pokes him in the eye to start and adds the backbreaker. A knee drop gets two and we’re already in the chinlock. The fans seem to approve of Orton, even as Snitsky starts his comeback. There’s a side slam to plant Orton and a running shoulder drops him again. The pumphandle slam is countered though and it’s the RKO for the fast pin.

Post match Lawler talks to Orton, who is ready to take care of Kurt Angle at Vengeance. On Sunday, Vengeance will be his.

Here’s Carlito, who thinks what happened to the Spirit Squad was funny. Coach didn’t like it though and that means Carlito has a handicap match. That’s not cool, but Carlito winning the Intercontinental Title on Sunday sure would be.

Johnny Nitro/Shelton Benjamin vs. Carlito

Non-title and Melina is here with Nitro and Benjamin. Lawler rather likes Melina’s entrance, prompting JR to demand that he hand over the Cialis. Nitro starts with the team and hits an early shoulder block, making Melina squeal. Carlito ducks a right hand and hits a dropkick as Lawler wonders if Carlito’s hair slows him down.

Shelton comes in and gets caught with a belly to back suplex before losing a slugout. A knee lift into a clothesline gives Carlito two but Shelton kicks him down. Nitro makes a blind tag and gets in a fight with Benjamin. Carlito grabs a rollup but Nitro reverses and grabs the trunks for the pin. Another short match but it did make you think Nitro could steal a win in a triple threat.

Post match Carlito gives Shelton a Backstabber for his own building moment.

Coach goes into Vince’s office and finds a lot of DX graffiti, including on the Muscle and Fitness cover. DX comes in and points out the fact that the pictures have been replaced by some more anti-Vince shots. They’re going to sit back and watch the rest of the show with Coach. Lawler: “Let’s watch it too.” JR: “We are.”

Eugene didn’t recognize Maria with her clothes on but he’s ready to get revenge on Umaga for taking out Jim Duggan and Kamala. Rob Conway comes in to laugh at Eugene and gets destroyed for his efforts.

Vengeance rundown.

DX annoys Coach some more so he tells them not to do anything else tonight. Messing with him is like messing with Vince….so they throw him through the wall, take his pants down (Shawn: “What kind of a man wears a thong?”) and spray paint DX on….yeah you get the idea.

The Highlanders are still coming but have to break down the door to their hotel room. They do like the TV though, because it has adult titles. Rory: “We’re adults and we want the World Tag Team Titles!” They see something on TV and declare their love for America.

Edge vs. Ric Flair

Lita is here with Edge and Mick Foley is on commentary, promising to have a horrible match at Vengeance. Foley: “I can steal any pay per view show anytime I want. I’m just not going to do it at Vengeance.” Edge knocks Flair down to start but gets chopped out of the air and sent outside. Edge brings in a chair but neither that nor Lita’s distraction works. Instead, Foley grabs the Mandible Claw on Flair, allowing Edge to hit the spear for the win.

Post match here’s Rob Van Dam to take Edge and Foley out before bailing through the crowd.

The Spirit Squad rallies the locker room to destroy DX. I’d be scared of Matt Striker too.

Here’s DX for their official reunion, which does feel like a big deal after a long time away. HHH thinks he knows the answer but are you ready? They get in their catchphrases but Shawn is guilt ridden. Vince and Shane are on their way back to Connecticut….where Stephanie is in labor. HHH: “LIAR!” Apparently Stephanie is fine, but what idiot got her pregnant? HHH isn’t sure but the guy must be hung like a…..Shawn: “I think it’s time to veer into a cheap pay per view plug!”

We hear the details on Vengeance (Shawn: “You can call your local cable provider and order it, only on pay per view.”) before Shawn calls out the Spirit Squad. Cue the Spirit Squad, or at least the mini versions of them. They’re shoved down and HHH even hits a mini superkick before saying this is Shawn’s handiwork. HHH: “It came up just a little short.”

HHH has been thinking of cheerleaders as well so Shawn puts on a blindfold. Four cheerleaders come out to talk about how Vince is scared of DX and then reveal DX bras. HHH suggests they’re removed as well but here is the Spirit Squad, flanked by the locker room. Only Johnny and Nicky get in though as everyone else leaves, meaning the big beatdown is on. The mini Spirit Squad gets in and drops their pants, revealing SUCK IT painted in certain areas. Posing wraps it up.

Overall Rating: D+. Aside from some special shows, I don’t ever remember a two hour Raw where there was nothing to rate. The longest match was the handicap match at a whopping 2:50. Now that being said, you don’t have to have a bunch of long matches to make a good show, but this wasn’t a good show in the first place. Not only was everything jammed in, but nothing was really all that high quality anyway.

The problem here is they’re trying to do WAY too much at once and as a result, nothing is really working. This show tried to focus on ECW (which is doing a bunch of individual things), DX’s reunion, DX messing with Vince/Coach and the regular Vengeance build. That’s a very busy two hours and the show didn’t exactly work because nothing had the time to work.

Vengeance is feeling very rushed (because it is very rushed) and as a result, nothing is really registering. Edge vs. Van Dam is feeling like a match that has to be there rather than being there because it should be, Cena vs. Sabu could be moderately interesting and is anyone buying the Spirit Squad against a reunited DX? Foley trying to have a bad match against Flair sounds good, but the rest of the show is being built so fast that nothing is having an impact. Maybe the pay per view will work, but this was one of the most packed go home shows I can ever remember.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

ECW On Sci Fi
Date: June 13, 2006
Location: Sovereign Bank Arena, Trenton, New Jersey
Attendance: 5,100
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s a big night as ECW makes its official return after a five year absence, but this time around they’re officially under the WWE banner. They had a heck of a show at One Night Stand, but other than Big Show, Rob Van Dam and Kurt Angle, I’m not sure what to expect on a regular basis. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of One Night Stand, headlined by Rob Van Dam winning the WWE Championship from John Cena under some less than logical circumstances and thanks to Edge’s help. Cena and Edge are here tonight.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Paul Heyman with something in his arms to introduce Rob Van Dam. Rob is rather pleased to have won and holds up the title, which now has no name plate at all (that’s better than the Cena one from Raw). As for Cena, Van Dam hopes he’s here to help them all celebrate. Heyman hopes so too, because he has a gift for Van Dam: the ECW World Title, which he always hoped he would hold (they why….never mind). Van Dam calls it a great honor for his career but wants to keep the WWE Title too. Rob: “It spins.”

Cue Edge and Lita, with Edge thanking Heyman for letting him be here and saying he respects Van Dam. They both won Money in the Bank and now they’ll tear the house down at Vengeance. Then he spears Van Dam in half and leaves through the crowd with Lita. As luck would have it, John Cena is there too and he knocks Edge back to ringside.

Cena and Van Dam take turns beating on Edge but get in an argument of their own, allowing Edge to leave. That earns Heyman a right hand and Cena goes after Edge, with the ECW locker room showing up quite a bit late. This felt like a Raw opening with an ECW sticker slapped on and that doesn’t bode well. It felt like WWE instead of ECW and little good can come of that for this show.

Post break Heyman gives the locker room the big pep talk and promises that they’re coming to Raw on Monday.

The Zombie vs. Sandman

And here’s your infamous moment of the show, as we have a zombie because the show is on the Sci Fi network. Commentary buries the idea as Zombie gurgles into a microphone. Sandman comes through the crowd (no cigarettes of course but he does drink the beer). A bunch of cane shots and a White Russian legsweep finishes Zombie in less than a minute. Barely a match, but it shows you that this show is in trouble.

We meet Kelly, who is an exhibitionist. That means she is going to take off all of her clothes tonight. So now we’re channeling Vince Russo on ECW?

We see the entire Jerry Lawler vs. Tazz segment from One Night Stand (minus Tazz’s entrance), which to be fair isn’t all that long.

Kurt Angle vs. Justin Credible

Angle takes him to the mat in a hurry and hits him in the face before pulling back on the neck. There’s a German suplex and Credible is sent outside. Back in and Angle grounds him again for some slaps to the back of the head. A rear naked choke finishes Credible in a hurry. Total destruction.

Post match Angle accepts Randy Orton’s challenge for Vengeance.

Heyman says he’s throwing out the rest of the show and making a ten man EXTREME battle royal. All weapons are legal and the winner gets to face John Cena at Vengeance.

Kelly promises to show us all of her assets next.

We see the marquee outside of the arena and we have a vampire.

We look back at the opening segment.

Here’s Kelly to go onto a platform and dance. Some of her clothes come off but she can’t unhook her bra. Instead she pulls it up and puts her hands over her chest before…just walking away.

Battle Royal

Tommy Dreamer, Sabu, Balls Mahoney, Little Guido, Al Snow, Danny Doring, Roadkill, Stevie Richards, Tony Mamaluke, Big Show, Big Guido

Weapons are provided, the winner gets John Cena at Vengeance and the FBI debuts a rather scantily clad manager who doesn’t get a name yet. Show clears the ring to star but doesn’t actually eliminate anyone, which is kind of impressive in a battle royal. We take a break and come back with no eliminations and the weapons being brought in. Tazz: “This is what makes us better than them.” Sabu sets up a table at ringside as a bunch of people get in some weapon shots on Show.

The big Head shot doesn’t work as Show tosses Snow out before doing the same to Doring. There go Richards, Roadkill and Mahoney but Dreamer slows Show down with cookie sheet shots. Show catches Air Sabu and sends him to the apron before tossing Dreamer out and through the table. Big Show chokeslams Little Guido onto Mamaluke and dumps both of them. We’re down to Big Guido, Show and Sabu with Show dumping Guido in a hurry. Guido holds the arm though and a running chair shot knocks Show out to give Sabu the win.

Rating: D. I can’t say I’m surprised as this was the WWE definition of an extreme/weapons match all the way. You had your usual trashcans, chairs, cookie sheets and a table and nothing more, because this was all about Big Show with Sabu coming in to steal the win. It also doesn’t help that outside of Sabu, the ECW originals were treated like small obstacles who were there for Big Show to hurt.

Overall Rating: F. No, in every sense of the word. I wasn’t an ECW fan (too young, didn’t get to see it, not the right demographic, not my style) and I wasn’t wild on it being brought back in the first place, but this had almost nothing to do with ECW. This show felt like they put together a supplemental show for Raw, remembered they needed to have ECW involved, and then added in a zombie and a vampire to have something sci fi included.

This was a terrible show and had nothing to do with ECW other than three letters. The Raw segment and the Raw wrestlers were treated as the stars around here while ECW were a bunch of people who happened to be on the secondary Raw show. Absolutely awful here and if this is what they’re doing, just change the name to WWE Super Duper Show or something close to it because that’s what we’re getting.

You can’t recreate the original ECW. It was the right product for the right time in front of the right audience. That was ten years ago though and now, especially with these resources available, you can’t have the same feeling, or really anything close to it. Having people like Big Show and Van Dam and Angle gives it star power, but two of those three people are WWE stars who feel like they are being loaned out to ECW. I completely get why they used the ECW name, but other than those three letters, this is not going to be ECW, nor is it going to be close. Now I get why that might be appealing to some, but this was awful.