IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 26, 2006
Location: Crown Coliseum, Fayetteville, North Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after Vengeance and a grand total of pretty much nothing happened on the show. Other than Johnny Nitro winning the Intercontinental Title, it was one of the least important shows that WWE has put on in a very long time. We do have something important tonight though, as John Cena gets his rematch against Rob Van Dam for the WWE Title. Let’s get to it.

Here is Vengeance if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

JR and King run down the card.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James

Trish is challenging in her first match since Backlash when she badly injured her shoulder. Mickie goes right for the shoulder to start but Trish is out in a hurry. The threat of a hammerlock is countered into some right hands to the head and a spinebuster gives Trish two. A hurricanrana gives Trish two but Mickie kicks her in the face. The MickieDT retains the title in a hurry. Mickie spent almost as much time adjusting her top as she did fighting.

Post match here are Johnny Nitro and Melina, with Lawler being VERY glad to see Melina. Mickie leaves and Melina gives some insincere praise for the comeback match. Nitro is the only man holding singles gold on Raw and Trish is looking at the new top Diva in WWE. Trish goes after her but Nitro grabs Trish, drawing out Carlito for the save.

Post break, Carlito is ranting about Nitro when Trish comes up to thank him. Carlito rants in Spanish, which Trish agrees with in the form of “right, right.” Anyway she thanks him again and, in regards to the question on his short (spit or swallow), she whispers something in his ear, which he enthusiastically declares cool. Lawler is rather pleased by that result.

We look at DX tormenting Vince McMahon last week.

The Spirit Squad is ranting to Vince and Shane McMahon, but the latter tells them to watch tonight as the McMahons take care of DX.

We get some fan picks for Cena vs. Van Dam tonight.

Umaga vs. Kamala

This was set up after Umaga beat Eugene and had a staredown with Umaga. Armando Alejandro Estrada and Kim Chee are here too. Kamala chops away to start but gets knocked down, setting up the running hip attack in the corner to crush Kim Cheer for a bonus. The middle rope headbutt sets up the Samoan Spike to end the complete squash.

We go to the Diva Search casting special, featuring the Miz as emcee and Ashley Massaro as the big speaker. The Divas dance a lot and we see Brooke Adams, Layla El, Rosa Mendes and Maryse, none of whom are named. The finalists are out here tonight.

Here’s Torrie Wilson to unveil the summer Divas magazine. Believe it or not, the cover to the swimsuit magazine with Torrie Wilson is Torrie Wilson in a swimsuit. Cue Edge and Lita to interrupt and throw Torrie out in a hurry. Edge says he should be the star of the show and on the cover of magazines (the swimsuit may be implied). He should be the star around here and the fact that Rob Van Dam is defending against John Cena tonight is a joke.

If Edge doesn’t get a rematch, they’re leaving Raw. The fans think they suck so Edge and Lita leave through the crowd. Hold on though as they do stop by the merchandise stand where Edge takes his shirt (which should be in the center). They’re out the door, shirts in hand.

Here’s a banged up John Cena to talk about how One Night Stand wasn’t his finest hour. He could just storm through off with shirts under his arm or he could fight and earn a rematch. Tonight, he takes care of business.

Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Viscera/Val Venis

It’s the return of Cade/Murdoch, who were a decent team while they originally lasted. Cade hammers Venis down to start but Venis gets in a right hand to the face. It’s off to Murdoch via a hot tag and an atomic drop into a big boot has Venis down again. Cue Charlie Haas to talk to Lilian Garcia and that’s not cool with Viscera. The hot tag brings in Viscera and house is cleaned in a hurry but Charlie kisses Lilian, allowing Cade and Murdoch to finish with a High/Low (which we only see on the replay).

Rating: D. The match was just there for the sake of the angle, as you might be trying to find out why Viscera, Lilian Garcia and Charlie Haas are getting a story. Points enough for trying something out of an accident if nothing else, though I’m not sure how many miles they can get out of something like this.

We see Brooke Hogan’s music video for About Us.

Randy Orton liked what he saw in said video.

Shane McMahon is so excites for the match against DX that he hits some furniture with a baseball bat.

Here’s HHH, as Vince McMahon, for a chat. HHH says he’s going to come out here and ramble incoherently before DX takes him the McMahons tonight. It will be more embarrassing than having his pants taken down, than losing to Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania, or even than the XFL (that gets a gasp). Last week, DX sent him a rooster, suggesting that he loves cocks. In reality, he loves great men like Dick Ebersol, Dick Chaney and Dick Clark. He loves them of any size, shape and color. HHH: “I’ll even do an Asian!”

Cue Shane McMahon, as played by Shawn Michaels, meaning it’s a lot of dancing as HHH does the Vince ear pull. Shawn says he is the product of Vince’s semen. He even has it on his business card. He brings up Vince’s eventual death, which sets off another round of dancing. HHH: “Son, are you mildly retarded?” HHH says Shane must be mistaken because Stephanie is getting all of Vince’s money. HHH: “Stephanie and that guy who knocked her up.”

After hearing about what a stud that guy must be, Shawn talks about how he just needs one more shot and he’s so excited that he has to dance. HHH yells in his face to stop, sending Shawn straight down. Actually dancing doesn’t sound like a bad idea, so hit that STAND BACK. This goes on for a long time but the Hulk Hogan bass solo is enough to bring out the real Vince and Shane.

Cue the Spirit Squad to join the McMahons for the beatdown, but never mind because DX drops a bunch of human waste on them (apparently it smells bad). HHH: “Don’t worry: because of Shawn, it’s holy s***.” JR: “It’s indescribable what DX has done to the McMahons!” You mean when they imitated them and then dropped fake human waste on them? The parody was funny for a bit but went on too long. Then the other stuff…..just wasn’t, as always.

We look at Mick Foley vs. Ric Flair from Vengeance, with Flair being left beaten and bloody.

Flair, from is home in Charlotte, says that everything Foley did last night was proof that everything Flair wrote about him was true. Vengeance is sworn and Flair was all fired up here.

Paul Heyman talks to Rob Van Dam because he’s worried about the title match against Cena. Tonight it’s under WWE rules in a WWE ring with a WWE referee. Rob says it’s cool and he’s got this.

More fans give their Cena vs. Van Dam picks.

Kane vs. Randy Orton

Kane powers him into the corner to start but Orton gets in a shot to the face and two off a dropkick. A big boot and running clothesline in the corner rock Orton, setting up the top rope clothesline. Kane loads up the chokeslam but here’s Costume Kane, who Kane jumps in the aisle and knocks down. The distraction lets Orton hit the RKO for the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match that was more about the angle than anything else. Orton continues to be on a roll but there is only so much you can do with Kane vs. a fake Kane. The pay per view match wasn’t good in the first place so keeping the thing going doesn’t exactly sound great. Though at least it isn’t more See No Evil.

Post match Kane is back up and chokeslams Costume Kane twice in the ring and one more time on the stage. Kane drags him to the back and then to the back. Post break, Kane unmasks him (showing the bald head of Luke Gallows, though we don’t see the face) and throws him outside. If I remember right, the original plan was to say that Costume Kane was the real version and the one we had seen was a fake, but thankfully they realized that would have been even dumber than what we got so take the small wins where you can.

We see the Tough Enough finalists being selected (including a quick look at the Bella Twins). Brooke Adams is cut but Maryse makes it (there’s something awesome about Miz meeting his future wife being shown like this).

We look at Rob Van Dam winning the WWE Title from John Cena at One Night Stand under less than fair circumstances.

The Highlanders use a public restroom. Hilarity ensues and they debut next week.

Raw World Title: Rob Van Dam vs. John Cena

Cena is challenging and slugs away to start. Rob gets in a kick and heads up top, only to be shoved down hard in a crash as we take a break. Back with Rob fighting out of a chinlock and starting the slugout. That goes to Cena as well but this time Rob kicks him off the top instead. There’s the flip to the floor to drop Cena again and Rob hits a legdrop for two back inside. It’s time for a chair but Cena scores with the hard clothesline into the running shoulders.

The ProtoBomb into the Five Knuckle Shuffle looks to set up the FU but Rob slips out and hits a kick to the head. They slug it out again with Rob hitting another kick to the face, setting up a German suplex for two on Cena. The split legged moonsault gets the same and there’s the top rope kick to the face. Cena rolls away before the Five Star can launch and then gets his knees up to block Rolling Thunder. The FU sets up the STFU but Edge runs in for the DQ.

Rating: C+. They did what they could here and Cena was showing the fire that made him feel like a bigger star. The ending was a good way out if they weren’t going to change the title, but it didn’t exactly help Van Dam look like a star. Then again, just being champion doesn’t make Van Dam a bigger star than Cena and being beaten until Edge comes in is hardly some death sentence.

Post match Edge says he’ll see Van Dam tomorrow and leaves through the crowd.

Overall Rating: C. This was good enough but there are some things that aren’t exactly making me look forward to the future. Above all else, there is the Diva Search, which is going to be around for the next two months and bring the show to a grinding halt. I guess they need new models though. Other than that, Cena was showing fire and they are starting to plant seeds for Summerslam, but some of these things are not exactly making me interested in seeing where things are going. Not terrible, but the future isn’t looking bright.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Vengeance 2006
Date: June 25, 2006
Location: Charlotte Bobcats Arena, Charlotte, North Carolina
Attendance: 6,800
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s time for another Raw pay per view but this time around we have ECW invading as WWE continues to try to turn it into something again. This time around that means Edge challenging ECW/WWE Champion Rob Van Dam and John Cena vs. Sabu in an EXTREME Lumberjack match. I’m not sure how EXTREME you can make a lumberjack match but maybe Cena can make it work. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about vengeance meaning retaliation for an injustice and looks at all three of the big matches tonight, including the reunited DX vs. the Spirit Squad. I think you know what is getting the focus tonight.

Randy Orton vs. Kurt Angle

Lawler: “Tonight is about vengeance for Orton!” JR: “Touche.” They also mention that Orton’s Smackdown contract expired while he was recovering from his broken ankle, which is why he’s on Raw. I don’t think that has been mentioned before but I do appreciate closing a minor plot hole. Angle chases him into the ropes to start and then does it again for a bonus. A hammerlock into a rollup gives Angle two but the threat of the ankle lock sends Orton to the ropes again.

Angle again teases the German suplex to the floor before settling for a belly to back suplex on the floor instead. Back in and Angle smacks him in the back of the head over and over but Orton pokes him in the eye. A dropkick lets Orton throw him outside, followed by a whip into the barricade. The chinlock goes on back inside with Orton throwing his feet on the ropes like a true villain should. A pair of knee drops set up another chinlock as the crowd goes almost eerily silent.

Orton goes up top for no apparent reason other than to let Angle run the ropes for the belly to belly superplex (and dang did he get up there fast). The Angle Slam is countered into the backbreaker so Orton goes to unhook the turnbuckle pad. That takes too long though as Angle rolls eight straight German suplexes for his own near fall. The ankle lock is broken up and Orton gets the rest of the pad off. Now Angle picks the ankle but Orton rolls him into the buckle, setting up the RKO for the pin.

Rating: C+. It was a good enough match but you would have expected something else. Instead it was a pretty run of the mill match that would have been good as the feature match on Raw, making it an acceptable enough pay per view match. The ending should set up a trilogy match but it wasn’t exactly an instant classic.

Vince McMahon is on the phone and promises that the Spirit Squad will have their vengeance. A fan in a wheelchair comes in…..but he’s wearing a DX shirt so Vince thinks he’s a spy. Vince shoves him out the door and we hear a rather loud crash. Cue Coach with the special pump from Monday but he also asks if Vince can say hello to a family friend of his. He’s a kid in a wheelchair and he’ll probably be in it for the rest of his life. Vince gulps in an obvious yet funny payoff.

Umaga vs. Eugene

Before the match, Armando Alejandro Estrada says you can call all of the heroes you want, even AQUAMAN, and they won’t be able to stop Umaga. Jim Duggan, Doink the Clown and Umaga are here with Eugene. The USA chant starts and Doink sprays Umaga with a squirt gun so Eugene can hammer away. That’s it for the offense as Umaga kicks him down, hits the running hip attack, and finishes with the Spike in a hurry.

Post match Umaga wrecks the legends but Estrada says no to a fight with Kamala. Save it for Raw I guess.

Mick Foley cuts off Tod Grisham from stealing his cheap pop and has a quick public reading from Ric Flair’s novel. By that he means autobiography, but this all has to be fiction. Foley reads the section about himself, with Flair saying the hardcore stuff doesn’t make Foley a great wrestler, but rather a glorified stuntman. Tonight, Foley promises to add a new chapter to Flair’s novel: “How I Was Outwrestled By Mick Foley!”

Mick Foley vs. Ric Flair

2/3 falls. The fans are all over Foley, as you knew they would be. They trade arm work to start with Flair getting the better of it, as you would have probably expected. Back up and Foley unloads with right hands in the corner, followed by the double arm DDT. It’s time for the Ric Flair inspired Mr. Socko (it has feathers) but Flair grabs him low for the break. Flair even hits the top rope ax handle to the back but wrenches the knee on the way down. The leg is wrapped around the ropes and Foley tries a Figure Four but gets small packaged for the first fall.

Flair tries it again to start the second fall but they head outside instead, with Foley going knees first into the steps. A quick trip into the crowd goes badly for Flair and Foley rakes the eyes. Foley whips out a trashcan but gets caught in the Figure Four. The trashcan to the head breaks the hold but draws the DQ to give Flair the win in two straight falls.

Rating: D. I’ve never really liked this feud and this match didn’t change that opinion very much. This was rushed and mostly one sided, though the more confusing part was Foley talking about how he was going to try and have the worst match of his career and then being all serious and wrestling straight to start. It’s like they just dropped what they mentioned on Raw and that made things a little weird. The match wasn’t going to be good either way given the circumstances, but it should have been better than this.

Post match Foley finds the barbed wire baseball bat and busts Flair open badly.

Maria asks Carlito why people who try to be cool are the ones who aren’t cool and the ones who don’t try to be cool wind up being cool. Carlito: “I don’t know what you just said.” Then Torrie Wilson shows up in a swimsuit and Maria rubs oil on her for obvious reasons. Torrie reciprocates and Carlito is annoyed at his music playing.

Intercontinental Title: Carlito vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Johnny Nitro

Benjamin is defending and Carlito is rather flustered during his entrance. Melina is here with Nitro and accidentally distracts him at the bell, allowing Carlito to throw Nitro outside. Shelton is right on Carlito with a clothesline for two but Carlito rolls him up for the same. A headbutt has Shelton on the mat as Nitro comes back in, only to be sent outside again just as fast. Nitro gets back in again and hammers on Shelton but a catapult from Carlito sends him outside for a third time.

Carlito’s dive has to be abandoned and Nitro trips the leg to send him face first into the apron. With Nitro and Shelton fighting on the floor, Carlito hits a double springboard flip dive to take both of them out in a big crash. Back in and Nitro spins into a Russian legsweep for two on Carlito but he grabs a hurricanrana to put Nitro down. Shelton is back with a pop up faceplant to Carlito and there’s a Samoan drop for two, with Nitro making the save. Nitro gets dropped face first onto the top turnbuckle for two but he’s right back with a monkey flip to send Shelton into Carlito’s dropkick for two.

Carlito gets crotched on top and Shelton crotches Nitro into the Tree of Woe. Shelton jumps to the top for a superplex but Nitro pulls himself up for a German superplex out of the Tree of Woe for a Tower of Doom. Lawler doesn’t know what to call that, but he does know that he would have called it better than Tazz. Carlito hits a springboard double back elbow for two each and Nitro is sent outside. The Backstabber hits Shelton but Nitro pulls Carlito outside to steal the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. I can’t blame them for putting the title on Nitro as he is about all you could ask for in a midcard star. Throw in how much better Melina makes him and this was a pretty easy choice over Shelton, who has been stuck in limbo for a long time and Carlito, who only shows flashes of star power. Pretty good match too, with everyone moving at a fast pace.

The Spirit Squad is ready to destroy DX and here’s Vince to say no one makes a fool out of them. Tonight, they’re going to rid the world of DX like bird flu. With the Squad gone, Vince takes the pump from earlier and goes into the bathroom. He comes out a few seconds later with green paint on his face. Lawler: “We just witness a booby trapped penis pump!”

We recap Rob Van Dam becoming Mr. Money in the Bank at Wrestlemania and winning the title at One Night Stand, thanks to Edge. Tonight, Edge gets his shot.

Raw World Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Edge

Edge is challenging and has Lita with him. Before the match, Edge insults the Carolina Hurricanes hockey team for needing Canadians to win it for them. Edge goes with a quick takedown to start and even mocks the finger point. Van Dam tries a monkey flip out of the corner but Edge sticks the landing. Some kicks miss as well so Rob rolls him up for two instead. Another takedown sets up a standing moonsault for two and Edge pauses for a second.

The threat of Rolling Thunder sends Edge bailing to the floor so Van Dam hits a moonsault off the barricade. Lita offers a distraction though, allowing Edge to hit a sunset bomb to the floor (THUD, off a nasty landing). Back in and Lawler can’t shut up about Lita, sending JR into one of his great “is that all you think about” rants. Edge cranks on both arms at once but gets kicked to the apron, setting up a running crossbody to the floor.

The spinning kick to the back only hits barricade though and Edge powerbombs him into the barricade to make it much worse. Edge says on the back like a good villain and hits a big boot for two. Van Dam kicks away as well to get a breather though and a German suplex gives the champ two. Edge gets the same off a powerslam but Rob kicks him down again.

The split legged moonsault gives Van Dam two but he kicks the referee down by mistake. With no referee, Edge calls for the belt, which is kicked into his face. Van Dam gets crotched on top though, and the slightly busted open Edge hits a hanging DDT for a very delayed two. The spear is loaded up so Lita holds up a chair behind Rob for no logical reason. Edge spears it by mistake and Van Dam hits the Five Star to retain.

Rating: B-. Another good but not exactly memorable match here. These two can have a solid match together and they did so here, but the ending wasn’t great as there was little reason or Lita to put that chair up. The story was fine with Edge working the back throughout and it was good to give Van Dam his first major title defense, but not exactly an instant classic.

The ECW guys celebrate but here’s Paul Heyman to say there is one match to go. Tonight it’s the EXTREME lumberjack match but Vince McMahon has ruled that there will be an equal number of Raw lumberjacks. Heyman gives them the big pep talk and chanting ensues.

Kane vs. Impostor Kane

Real Kane slugs away to start and a clothesline puts Fake Kane over the top, where he lands on his feet. Back in and Fake chokes away in the corner but Real hits a shoulder and goes for the mask. The side slam gets Fake out of trouble and he hammers away, followed by a forearm to the chest for two. A powerslam gets the same and it’s already off to the chinlock.

With that broken up, the chokeslam attempt is countered with a rake to the face and Real hits a running DDT. Real unloads in the corner into some running clotheslines and a side slam as the fans want the mask removed. Real’s chokeslam is countered so he kicks Fake in the mask and goes up. The clothesline is countered into the chokeslam though to give Fake the pin.

Rating: D. Well that happened. I’m still not sure what the point of this is and I’m still not sure WWE does either, but the visual should have caught your eye. I know Kane needed a freshening up at this point but you would think they might have had something better than “here’s another Kane”. It was a fine enough power match, but the story itself has been rather lacking.

We recap John Cena vs. Sabu. Cena is hated by the ECW fans and Sabu attacked him to show what ECW is all about. Cena likes this new style so let’s have a lumberjack match.

Sabu vs. John Cena

EXTREME lumberjack match. Sabu jumps him to start as Cena is transfixed by the thought of Roadkill vs. Val Venis. Cena gets in a few shots to knock Sabu outside but this time it’s Sabu sending him outside so the lumberjacks can get in their shots. Sandman even canes Cena in the head and the triple jump moonsault gives Sabu two. The camel clutch is broken up in a hurry and Sabu kicks him low.

The triple jump legdrop gives Sabu two, followed by the Arabian Facebuster for the same. Air Sabu only hits corner though and it’s time for the lumberjacks to get in their big fight. Cena goes outside to join them until a chair shot takes him down. They can’t keep Cena on a table though as he grabs the kendo stick to knock Sabu silly. Cena pelts the chair at Sabu’s head and there’s the FU through the table at ringside. The STFU makes Sabu tap.

Rating: D+. The crowd helped this one a lot and Cena did what he could with what he was given. Sabu is an ECW legend but there is only so much value to him outside of ECW in 2006. You can’t have Cena lose to Sabu in this spot and that never felt like a possibility, making this about as good as it was going to get all things considered.

Post match Cena goes to the back and runs into Rob Van Dam, who acknowledges Cena’s guts. Van Dam says Cena can have his rematch for the spinner belt on Raw. Cena says the title is his life so he’ll see Van Dam tomorrow.

We recap DX vs. the Spirit Squad. It started with Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon back in December when Shawn told Vince to let Montreal go already. Vince swore vengeance and eventually brought in the Squad to take care of things. This included getting HHH to help, eventually leading to DX reuniting to fight off the Squad and torment Vince with some HILARIOUS jokes. Tonight is the showdown.

D-Generation X vs. Spirit Squad

Non-title. Mitch and Shawn start things off with Shawn easily taking him down and walking over Mitch’s back. A few right hands put Shawn into the corner but he reverses Mitch and chops away some more. Shawn has to fight out of the Squad’s corner so HHH comes in to start cleaning house without much trouble. Johnny is busted open so he comes in anyway and does a karate pose. HHH punches him down anyway and hits the crotch chop knee drop.

There’s a hard Irish whip into the corner and Shawn crotches Mikey against the post. The legs are wrapped around the post as well (JR: “His knees are broken, his package is bruised.”) The Squad finally gets HHH outside though and there’s a group whip into the steps to take over. A neckbreaker gets HHH out of trouble though and it’s back to Shawn to clean house.

Johnny manages a spinning kick to the face though and the numbers game starts putting Shawn in trouble. There’s a chair to the face to put Shawn down again and a trampoline bulldog gives Mikey two. Kenny comes in to hammer away and then launches Nicky into the corner for two more off a splash. A double flapjack gets another two and we hit a chinlock from Kenny.

The nearly required double clothesline puts them both down but it’s way too early for the hot tag to HHH. A double DDT gets Shawn out of trouble and NOW it’s back to HHH to start cleaning house. Right hands and spinebusters abound but Nicky saves Kenny from the Pedigree. Mikey’s trampoline flip dive takes out his partners by mistake and it’s a Pedigree/superkick for the stereo pins.

Rating: C-. What else were you expecting? I’m really not sure what else to say here and how could you have had any other expectations coming in? You have the pretty good Kenny and four other guys against two legends who work well together. What else could this have been given the circumstances? The Spirit Squad is little more than an annoyance and DX treated them as just that here. Why would I need to see something like this again?

Post match DX beats up the rest of the Squad and Mitch gets to join HHH’s club (what a visual). Vince comes out to say he’ll see DX tomorrow night to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. And now you probably never have to think about this show again. This is by no means a bad show or anywhere close to one, but it is the kind of show where it felt like it took place because they were required to put one on. That doesn’t make for the most thrilling of events and while there are some nice matches, nothing on here is worth going out of your way to see and nothing is even very good. Totally skippable show and one of the more forgettable WWE has put on in a long time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

ECW On Sci Fi
Date: June 20, 2006
Location: Pepsi Arena, Albany, New York
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

Well after last week’s mess, they don’t have the highest bar to clear. It would be nice to have something that actually feels like ECW, which is why we have Edge and Randy Orton here tonight. It’s the go home show for Vengeance so expect a lot of talk about the matches there. We might even get some ECW stuff in here if we have time. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with an unnamed witch (Medium? Fortune teller?) turning Tarot cards as we hear about ECW invading Raw, causing Raw to come back here tonight.

Opening sequence.

Sabu vs. Tony Mamaluke

Trinity (now named) is here with Mamaluke as Tazz starts trying to get “Vixens” over for the ECW women. Sabu takes him down by the leg to start but Mamaluke is back with a knee to the head. A kick to the head gets two and Mamaluke starts in on the arm. That earns him a kick to the face and a slingshot legdrop to give Sabu two. With Mamaluke on the floor, Sabu uses a chair for a springboard dive to take him down again. Sabu whips out the table but gets chaired down. Mamaluke’s dive off the top is knocked out of the air by a chair being thrown into his face, setting up the camel clutch to give Sabu the win.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much but it already felt more like ECW than anything we saw last week. It was a polished, cleaned up WWE version of ECW, but it did feel more like ECW. Sabu gets a win to help warm him up for John Cena on Sunday, but other than that it was a bunch of dives and weapons shots until the finish.

Kelly promises to strip more than she did last week.

Rob Van Dam is ready to team with Kurt Angle against Edge and Randy Orton in a preview for Sunday. He needs to get rolling, but does come back for one more finger point.

Here’s an annoyed looking Big Show for a chat but Tommy Dreamer cuts him off. Dreamer says if Show wants to make a name for himself around here, he’ll have to go through Dreamer to do so. Dreamer slaps him in the face and the destruction is on in a hurry. The cobra clutch backbreaker into the regular cobra clutch leaves Dreamer laying as Show walks away. Dreamer smiles a lot because he’s kind of loopy. It’s good to see that nothing has changed.

The vampire is outside again.

And now, Macho Libre. Before his match, Libre gives us a luchador style Randy Savage ECW and says he’s looking for a fight. SNAP INTO IT! I think you know where this is going.

Sandman vs. Macho Libre

Macho offers to tell him something (something, something, something, something OH YEAH) and gets caned down for about twenty seconds for the pin. This was funnier than the Zombie, but not by much.

John Cena arrives in the back and is surrounded by ECW. As Paul Heyman holds Sabu back, Cena says he knows all of the extreme things they have planned for him on Sunday. He knows they don’t like him, but Heyman can bring everyone he has on Sunday. Let’s make it an Extreme Lumberjack match because all he wants on Sunday is a chance to go down swinging. Cena glares at Rob Van Dam, turns around, and leaves.

Kelly comes out for her Expose. After a lot of dancing, she manages to get her bra off this time but here’s a guy with a towel to cover her up and take her away. A lot of booing ensues.

Test is coming. A lot of booing should ensue, as he’s one of the least ECW guys you could bring back.

Edge/Randy Orton vs. Kurt Angle/Rob Van Dam

Lita is here with the Raw guys. Before the match, Edge makes it very clear: he thinks ECW and it’s fans SUCK. Angle goes straight for Edge’s leg to start and then throws him down with ease. It’s quickly off to Orton vs. Van Dam with Rob kicking his way out of trouble. Orton gets crotched on the top and a top rope kick knocks him to the floor. There’s the moonsault to take him down again but it’s quickly off to Edge, meaning Lita can low bridge Van Dam to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Angle breaking up Orton’s cover so Edge sends Van Dam outside in a heap. A whip sends Van Dam hard into the steps and Orton hits the good looking dropkick for two. Van Dam rolls over and makes the hot tag to Angle though and it’s time to roll the German suplexes. Edge is sent outside so Angle locks Orton’s ankle but Edge makes the save. Orton uses the distraction to chop block Angle down and it’s time to start working the knee.

Angle pulls Edge down into the choke so Lita rakes the eyes to break it up. A raised boot in the corner lets Angle snap off another German suplex and it’s Van Dam coming in to clean house. Everything breaks down and there’s an Angle Slam to Lita for daring to try a running belt shot. The RKO takes Angle down but Van Dam kicks Orton in the face again. Van Dam cuts off the spear with a belt shot to the face though and the Five Star is good for the pin.

Rating: C+. Pretty good main event tag match here and that’s what the show needed. What mattered here was making ECW look like they could hang with the best of Raw and it didn’t go too far off the deep end to do so. Van Dam and Angle are full fledged WWE main eventers so giving them this win isn’t a big jump up for them, but it makes ECW look better.

Overall Rating: D+. While I would still hesitate to call this show good, this was miles ahead of the disaster that we got last week. The main event was good, the Sandman thing could be turned into a funny weekly deal, and Sabu got some momentum heading into his big match against Cena. The big problems are still really obvious though: this is a WWE show in an ECW costume and there is almost nothing to the ECW roster outside of Van Dam and two WWE guys on loan. It’s not good, but it made last week feel like some opening night jitters and that’s a big sigh of relief.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 19, 2006
Location: Blue Cross Arena, Rochester, New York
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for Vengeance but at the same time, it is still a show about building up ECW, which only debuted last week. I’m not sure how well that is going to go, but ECW is angry at Raw for invading their debut. An angry ECW could reach the level of moderately annoying so Raw might be slightly irritated. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Vince McMahon is in his office to open things up and says that there will be no DX reunion because tonight is the DX destruction. As he goes to leave, a delivery man brings him a chicken, because word on the street is he locks cocks. Vince tells him to go choke his chicken because he isn’t in the mood tonight. Now Vince leaves his office, runs into an alien who mimics his walk, and stares him down to make the alien leave.

Then he runs into some male strippers, including (I believe, as he is slimmer here) Big Dick Johnson for some oily dancing. With that out of the way, Vince runs into Dusty Rhodes, who plugs his DVD. Maybe the strippers want to buy one! Dusty goes off to see if they have any change and a deliveryman comes up to ask Vince to sign for a package. It’s a penis enlarger pump (the Pistol Pump), but Vince storms off, swearing to destroy DX. So what would have happened if Vince had gone the other way when he came out of his office? Or just not left?

Anyway, Vince comes out to the ring and promises to put his shoe in a certain part of HHH and use the same shoe to kick Shawn Michaels in the head. Cue Shane McMahon, who says Vince needs to leave because Stephanie McMahon is in labor. That’s enough to get Vince to leave, though he doesn’t seem happy. We follow them to the back, where Vince puts Coach in charge. Vince: “My daughter Stephanie has always had the worst timing of anyone I know. Now she’s in labor. THAT B****!” Vince and Shane leave in the limo as Lawler cracks up a bit.

Torrie Wilson had a swimsuit photo shoot for WWE Magazine. JR: “I’m subscribing.”

Torrie Wilson/Maria vs. Mickie James/Candice Michelle

Bra and panties match. Candice slams Torrie down by the head to start but a sunset flip lets Torrie rip her shirt off. Mickie comes in and takes off Torrie’s pants before doing the same to Maria. The tops come off as well to give Mickie the win almost by herself.

Post match Mickie decks Candice and rips off her shorts as well. Mickie throws in her own version of the Go Daddy dance. Then she goes too far by stealing JR’s hat (JR: “That’s going on eBay.” Mickie even rips the shirt off of a fan for a bonus.

Charlie Haas vs. Viscera

Before the match, Viscera gives Haas one more chance to apologize for hurting Lilian Garcia. For some reason Haas thinks it’s a good idea to say that he and Lilian went to dinner for the apology last week, which she accepted over some pillow talk. Lilian doesn’t seem to agree and neither does Viscera as he knocks Haas outside with one shot. Back in and Viscera wants details on the pillow talk (JR: “I don’t think you want to know that Charlie.”). There’s the corner splash….and here’s the Spirit Squad to jump both of them for the surprise no contest.

Post match the beatdown is on, with the Squad managing an Upsa Daisy on Viscera. The Squad says they know DX is back, but they want to get them out here right now for the fight. DX pops up on screen with Shawn Michaels freaking out about being down five to two (Shawn: “THEY’RE GONNA MURDERIZE US!”) but HHH says they’re just cheerleaders. DX will be out there tonight, but it’s on their terms. For now, HHH has two words for them: look up. Slime falls down onto the Squad, meaning a lot of slipping and laughter ensues. Shawn paints DX on the camera lens because he doesn’t value company property.

Post break, the Squad tells Coach to take care of DX. Vince’s plan will still be enacted so they can go clean up. Coach goes into Vince’s office and finds Paul Heyman waiting for him. Heyman says tonight could go worse because ECW is in a bus in the parking lot ready to tear Raw apart.

Heyman is here with an offer though: since ECW on Sci Fi was the highest rated show on cable last Tuesday, he wants to share the love with Raw. So tomorrow night, how about a dream tag match? How about Edge/Randy Orton vs. Kurt Angle/Rob Van Dam? Coach makes the match but Heyman isn’t done. For tonight, how about John Cena vs. Balls Mahoney? That’s on too.

With the slime being cleaned up, we go to Kane, who knows who the Costumed Kane is. He has known this guy since he was a kid and the guy is even more screwed up than he is. Kane won’t say what he did but he seems worried. This is going to be stupid isn’t it?

Umaga vs. John McChesney

Umaga kicks him into the corner before Armando Alejandro Estrada gets out of the ring. There’s the Tree of Woe headbutt into the running Umaga attack and the Samoan Spike finishes in about a minute. JR barely had time to announce Eugene vs. Umaga at Vengeance.

Post match Umaga sends him outside and Estrada grabs the mic but the fans say his name with him, making Estrada give up.

John Cena vs. Balls Mahoney

Paul Heyman is here with Mahoney, who has his chair with him. They go right for the slugout to start and Cena hits his release fisherman’s suplex for two. The fans are all over Cena as he hammers away in the corner, until Mahoney gets in a poke to the eye. Mahoney hits the snap jabs (without the chants) and a kick to the face gets two. Cena fights back with shoulders into the finishing sequence but Heyman slips in the chair. That doesn’t seem to matter as Cena ducks the shot and pulls Mahoney into the STFU for the tap.

Post match here’s Sabu for a lot of swearing and a beatdown on Cena, including a top rope legdrop through the announcers’ table. JR: “GOD D*** IT GET THAT TRASH OUT OF HERE!” Cena is busted open as the ECW guys leave. He stands up and has that look in his eye, so of course you know this means war.

Post break, JR is REALLY mad about Cena being attacked. Or maybe it’s the table being broken.

Randy Orton vs. Snitsky

I had forgotten Snitsky was still employed. Orton pokes him in the eye to start and adds the backbreaker. A knee drop gets two and we’re already in the chinlock. The fans seem to approve of Orton, even as Snitsky starts his comeback. There’s a side slam to plant Orton and a running shoulder drops him again. The pumphandle slam is countered though and it’s the RKO for the fast pin.

Post match Lawler talks to Orton, who is ready to take care of Kurt Angle at Vengeance. On Sunday, Vengeance will be his.

Here’s Carlito, who thinks what happened to the Spirit Squad was funny. Coach didn’t like it though and that means Carlito has a handicap match. That’s not cool, but Carlito winning the Intercontinental Title on Sunday sure would be.

Johnny Nitro/Shelton Benjamin vs. Carlito

Non-title and Melina is here with Nitro and Benjamin. Lawler rather likes Melina’s entrance, prompting JR to demand that he hand over the Cialis. Nitro starts with the team and hits an early shoulder block, making Melina squeal. Carlito ducks a right hand and hits a dropkick as Lawler wonders if Carlito’s hair slows him down.

Shelton comes in and gets caught with a belly to back suplex before losing a slugout. A knee lift into a clothesline gives Carlito two but Shelton kicks him down. Nitro makes a blind tag and gets in a fight with Benjamin. Carlito grabs a rollup but Nitro reverses and grabs the trunks for the pin. Another short match but it did make you think Nitro could steal a win in a triple threat.

Post match Carlito gives Shelton a Backstabber for his own building moment.

Coach goes into Vince’s office and finds a lot of DX graffiti, including on the Muscle and Fitness cover. DX comes in and points out the fact that the pictures have been replaced by some more anti-Vince shots. They’re going to sit back and watch the rest of the show with Coach. Lawler: “Let’s watch it too.” JR: “We are.”

Eugene didn’t recognize Maria with her clothes on but he’s ready to get revenge on Umaga for taking out Jim Duggan and Kamala. Rob Conway comes in to laugh at Eugene and gets destroyed for his efforts.

Vengeance rundown.

DX annoys Coach some more so he tells them not to do anything else tonight. Messing with him is like messing with Vince….so they throw him through the wall, take his pants down (Shawn: “What kind of a man wears a thong?”) and spray paint DX on….yeah you get the idea.

The Highlanders are still coming but have to break down the door to their hotel room. They do like the TV though, because it has adult titles. Rory: “We’re adults and we want the World Tag Team Titles!” They see something on TV and declare their love for America.

Edge vs. Ric Flair

Lita is here with Edge and Mick Foley is on commentary, promising to have a horrible match at Vengeance. Foley: “I can steal any pay per view show anytime I want. I’m just not going to do it at Vengeance.” Edge knocks Flair down to start but gets chopped out of the air and sent outside. Edge brings in a chair but neither that nor Lita’s distraction works. Instead, Foley grabs the Mandible Claw on Flair, allowing Edge to hit the spear for the win.

Post match here’s Rob Van Dam to take Edge and Foley out before bailing through the crowd.

The Spirit Squad rallies the locker room to destroy DX. I’d be scared of Matt Striker too.

Here’s DX for their official reunion, which does feel like a big deal after a long time away. HHH thinks he knows the answer but are you ready? They get in their catchphrases but Shawn is guilt ridden. Vince and Shane are on their way back to Connecticut….where Stephanie is in labor. HHH: “LIAR!” Apparently Stephanie is fine, but what idiot got her pregnant? HHH isn’t sure but the guy must be hung like a…..Shawn: “I think it’s time to veer into a cheap pay per view plug!”

We hear the details on Vengeance (Shawn: “You can call your local cable provider and order it, only on pay per view.”) before Shawn calls out the Spirit Squad. Cue the Spirit Squad, or at least the mini versions of them. They’re shoved down and HHH even hits a mini superkick before saying this is Shawn’s handiwork. HHH: “It came up just a little short.”

HHH has been thinking of cheerleaders as well so Shawn puts on a blindfold. Four cheerleaders come out to talk about how Vince is scared of DX and then reveal DX bras. HHH suggests they’re removed as well but here is the Spirit Squad, flanked by the locker room. Only Johnny and Nicky get in though as everyone else leaves, meaning the big beatdown is on. The mini Spirit Squad gets in and drops their pants, revealing SUCK IT painted in certain areas. Posing wraps it up.

Overall Rating: D+. Aside from some special shows, I don’t ever remember a two hour Raw where there was nothing to rate. The longest match was the handicap match at a whopping 2:50. Now that being said, you don’t have to have a bunch of long matches to make a good show, but this wasn’t a good show in the first place. Not only was everything jammed in, but nothing was really all that high quality anyway.

The problem here is they’re trying to do WAY too much at once and as a result, nothing is really working. This show tried to focus on ECW (which is doing a bunch of individual things), DX’s reunion, DX messing with Vince/Coach and the regular Vengeance build. That’s a very busy two hours and the show didn’t exactly work because nothing had the time to work.

Vengeance is feeling very rushed (because it is very rushed) and as a result, nothing is really registering. Edge vs. Van Dam is feeling like a match that has to be there rather than being there because it should be, Cena vs. Sabu could be moderately interesting and is anyone buying the Spirit Squad against a reunited DX? Foley trying to have a bad match against Flair sounds good, but the rest of the show is being built so fast that nothing is having an impact. Maybe the pay per view will work, but this was one of the most packed go home shows I can ever remember.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

ECW On Sci Fi
Date: June 13, 2006
Location: Sovereign Bank Arena, Trenton, New Jersey
Attendance: 5,100
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s a big night as ECW makes its official return after a five year absence, but this time around they’re officially under the WWE banner. They had a heck of a show at One Night Stand, but other than Big Show, Rob Van Dam and Kurt Angle, I’m not sure what to expect on a regular basis. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of One Night Stand, headlined by Rob Van Dam winning the WWE Championship from John Cena under some less than logical circumstances and thanks to Edge’s help. Cena and Edge are here tonight.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Paul Heyman with something in his arms to introduce Rob Van Dam. Rob is rather pleased to have won and holds up the title, which now has no name plate at all (that’s better than the Cena one from Raw). As for Cena, Van Dam hopes he’s here to help them all celebrate. Heyman hopes so too, because he has a gift for Van Dam: the ECW World Title, which he always hoped he would hold (they why….never mind). Van Dam calls it a great honor for his career but wants to keep the WWE Title too. Rob: “It spins.”

Cue Edge and Lita, with Edge thanking Heyman for letting him be here and saying he respects Van Dam. They both won Money in the Bank and now they’ll tear the house down at Vengeance. Then he spears Van Dam in half and leaves through the crowd with Lita. As luck would have it, John Cena is there too and he knocks Edge back to ringside.

Cena and Van Dam take turns beating on Edge but get in an argument of their own, allowing Edge to leave. That earns Heyman a right hand and Cena goes after Edge, with the ECW locker room showing up quite a bit late. This felt like a Raw opening with an ECW sticker slapped on and that doesn’t bode well. It felt like WWE instead of ECW and little good can come of that for this show.

Post break Heyman gives the locker room the big pep talk and promises that they’re coming to Raw on Monday.

The Zombie vs. Sandman

And here’s your infamous moment of the show, as we have a zombie because the show is on the Sci Fi network. Commentary buries the idea as Zombie gurgles into a microphone. Sandman comes through the crowd (no cigarettes of course but he does drink the beer). A bunch of cane shots and a White Russian legsweep finishes Zombie in less than a minute. Barely a match, but it shows you that this show is in trouble.

We meet Kelly, who is an exhibitionist. That means she is going to take off all of her clothes tonight. So now we’re channeling Vince Russo on ECW?

We see the entire Jerry Lawler vs. Tazz segment from One Night Stand (minus Tazz’s entrance), which to be fair isn’t all that long.

Kurt Angle vs. Justin Credible

Angle takes him to the mat in a hurry and hits him in the face before pulling back on the neck. There’s a German suplex and Credible is sent outside. Back in and Angle grounds him again for some slaps to the back of the head. A rear naked choke finishes Credible in a hurry. Total destruction.

Post match Angle accepts Randy Orton’s challenge for Vengeance.

Heyman says he’s throwing out the rest of the show and making a ten man EXTREME battle royal. All weapons are legal and the winner gets to face John Cena at Vengeance.

Kelly promises to show us all of her assets next.

We see the marquee outside of the arena and we have a vampire.

We look back at the opening segment.

Here’s Kelly to go onto a platform and dance. Some of her clothes come off but she can’t unhook her bra. Instead she pulls it up and puts her hands over her chest before…just walking away.

Battle Royal

Tommy Dreamer, Sabu, Balls Mahoney, Little Guido, Al Snow, Danny Doring, Roadkill, Stevie Richards, Tony Mamaluke, Big Show, Big Guido

Weapons are provided, the winner gets John Cena at Vengeance and the FBI debuts a rather scantily clad manager who doesn’t get a name yet. Show clears the ring to star but doesn’t actually eliminate anyone, which is kind of impressive in a battle royal. We take a break and come back with no eliminations and the weapons being brought in. Tazz: “This is what makes us better than them.” Sabu sets up a table at ringside as a bunch of people get in some weapon shots on Show.

The big Head shot doesn’t work as Show tosses Snow out before doing the same to Doring. There go Richards, Roadkill and Mahoney but Dreamer slows Show down with cookie sheet shots. Show catches Air Sabu and sends him to the apron before tossing Dreamer out and through the table. Big Show chokeslams Little Guido onto Mamaluke and dumps both of them. We’re down to Big Guido, Show and Sabu with Show dumping Guido in a hurry. Guido holds the arm though and a running chair shot knocks Show out to give Sabu the win.

Rating: D. I can’t say I’m surprised as this was the WWE definition of an extreme/weapons match all the way. You had your usual trashcans, chairs, cookie sheets and a table and nothing more, because this was all about Big Show with Sabu coming in to steal the win. It also doesn’t help that outside of Sabu, the ECW originals were treated like small obstacles who were there for Big Show to hurt.

Overall Rating: F. No, in every sense of the word. I wasn’t an ECW fan (too young, didn’t get to see it, not the right demographic, not my style) and I wasn’t wild on it being brought back in the first place, but this had almost nothing to do with ECW. This show felt like they put together a supplemental show for Raw, remembered they needed to have ECW involved, and then added in a zombie and a vampire to have something sci fi included.

This was a terrible show and had nothing to do with ECW other than three letters. The Raw segment and the Raw wrestlers were treated as the stars around here while ECW were a bunch of people who happened to be on the secondary Raw show. Absolutely awful here and if this is what they’re doing, just change the name to WWE Super Duper Show or something close to it because that’s what we’re getting.

You can’t recreate the original ECW. It was the right product for the right time in front of the right audience. That was ten years ago though and now, especially with these resources available, you can’t have the same feeling, or really anything close to it. Having people like Big Show and Van Dam and Angle gives it star power, but two of those three people are WWE stars who feel like they are being loaned out to ECW. I completely get why they used the ECW name, but other than those three letters, this is not going to be ECW, nor is it going to be close. Now I get why that might be appealing to some, but this was awful.

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2006
Date: November 26, 2006
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 15,400
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Another match of note on the show is Mickie James challenging Lita for the Women’s Championship in what would be Lita’s final match. Combining this with Trish Stratus leaving just a few months earlier, the Divas division was in a huge state of flux with the two biggest stars it ever had leaving in the span of a few months. Let’s get to it.

This is the 20^th show so we talk about tradition and all that jazz. Then it turns into a regular video about a PPV, but a good one.

Team Legends vs. Spirit Squad

Legends: Ric Flair, Sgt. Slaughter, Ron Simmons, Dusty Rhodes

Spirit Squad: Kenny, Johnny, Nicky, Mikey

Slaughter is replacing a cancer ridden Roddy Piper. Actually he got very lucky as he got a concussion because of a Conchairto from Edge, and on the tests the cancer was found. Arn Anderson is here with the Legends and we get the awesome Horsemen music. The only member of the Squad (a group of male cheerleaders) still around is Nicky, more famous as Dolph Ziggler, so I’ll spare you from an explanation. Kenny is the only other one that stuck around after the team split up anyway.

Simmons and Mikey start things off and guess who wins the slugout. Ron beats up all of them but Mitch, the fifth member of the squad not in the match, interferes and gets Ron on the floor. Mitch’s distraction leads to Simmons getting counted out. Mitch (the other cheerleader) gets ejected but Simmons beats him up first. Anderson gets ejected as well for no apparent reason. The Philly fans are TICKED. Nicky comes in to face Sarge and he mocks the salute. Fan: “PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE!”

Sarge beats him up with ease and it’s off to Dusty for some gyrating and elbows to the arm. It’s Flair time and you know the Philly fans are all for that one. A chop later and it’s right back to Slaughter who hooks the Cobra Clutch, but Dusty and Kenny come in to fight, allowing Johnny to kick Sarge in the head to give Nicky a pin. Off to Dusty who hits the bionic elbow on Nicky for the immediate elimination, making it 3-2. Dusty gets caught in the corner but he gyrates it off.

The Flip Flop and Fly takes Kenny down but another elbow misses, giving Kenny a rollup (with a handful of jeans) pin. It’s Kenny/Johnny/Mikey vs. Flair now with Mikey starting first. Flair chops him into the corner but Mikey starts punching away. Ric hits a quick atomic drop and gets a rollup with feet on the ropes (now THAT is vintage Flair) for the elimination. Kenny gets in some shots but ducks his head and gets cradled for the pin, leaving Flair vs. Johnny. Less than a minute later it’s a Figure Four to give Flair the win.

Rating: C-. This was exactly what it was expected to be and that’s all it should have been. The legends were there to have a feel good nostalgia moment and get eliminated so Flair, the only one who had been active in the last three years or so, could knock out all of the Squad and give the fans a feel good moment. Also it’s only about ten minutes long so it’s not like this was anything major. It’s not a good technical match, but if that’s what you’re expecting here, you missed the point entirely. Besides, the Squad was gone literally the next night.

Post match the Squad beats down Flair and the Legends….are nowhere in sight. Kind of a downer.

We recap Benoit vs. Chavo. Benoit came back from an injury and won the US Title but Vickie and Chavo, his former friends, wanted nothing to do with him. Chavo and Vickie didn’t like Rey making his name off Eddie’s legacy, which is true but I don’t blame Rey for it. Chavo injured Rey’s knee (Mysterio needed time off for surgery) but when Benoit tried to make the save, the Guerreros weren’t happy. There was also some nonsense about Eddie’s estate which didn’t going anywhere.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero

Benoit, the champion, pounds away to start and hits a quick backbreaker for one. Some knees to the ribs set up a snap suplex for another two. Chavo comes back with a bunch of forearms and stomps in the corner, only to get caught in the Crossface. Vickie makes the save by putting Chavo’s boot on the rope. Chavo hits a pair of suplexes for two and it’s off to a chinlock.

Benoit comes out of it with a Samoan drop of all things but gets dropkicked right back down for two. Another suplex is countered and Benoit rolls some Germans to set up the swan dive. Vickie grabs Benoit’s foot and the distraction makes the dive miss, sending Chris’ head crashing into the mat again. Chavo suplexes him down (again) but the frog splash only gets two. Benoit loads up the Sharpshooter but gets kicked off into Vickie who is on the apron. There’s the Crossface and Chavo taps out.

Rating: D+. That’s likely a bit low but this was a dull match. Chavo came off as more of an annoyance than a challenge here and that never makes for an entertaining match. I still shudder whenever I see Benoit take a head shot like he did off the swan dive as I always wonder which shot was the point of no return for him.

Lita says that she’s done after tonight’s match (that’s actually true) and she’s glad it’s in front of these horrible fans in Philadelphia. Edge makes some Donovan McNabb jokes and says his team is going to take out Team DX. After he leaves, Cryme Tyme leaves Lita’s locker room with a box of her stuff.

Women’s Title: Lita vs. Mickie James

Lita is defending and slaps Mickie in the face to start, causing Mickie to choke away in the corner. The champ comes back by literally throwing Mickie around which is a bit less than what you would expect from someone as talented as Lita. Mickie goes up and gets slammed off the top as this is one sided so far. The fans think Lita is a crack w****. Their words, not mine.

A quick snap suplex gets two for Lita as this continues to be slow. Off to a sleeper from Lita which is the last thing this match needed. Mickie gets in the ropes and avoids a charge in the corner. She goes up and is immediately suplexed down for two. Now the fans think Lita has herpes. Again, their words not mine. Mickie hits a SWEET spinning kick to take Lita’s head off followed by a fisherman’s suplex for two. Moonsault gets two for Lita but the Edgecution is countered, giving Mickie two. They trade rollups and Mickie hits the jumping DDT to retire Lita and win the title.

Rating: D. Most of that is for the ending with Lita’s head bouncing off the mat. Other than that, this was some pretty uninspired stuff. Lita left when she should have as she had nothing left to accomplish and no one like Trish to work with. Pretty terrible match here but it passed the torch to Mickie who was indeed the future of the division.

Lita asks for a microphone and makes Lillian tell the crowd to cheer for her. She doesn’t like being booed and is glad to get to leave in front of Philly because its fans suck. Here’s Cryme Tyme with the box of Lita’s stuff they stole earlier. They’re having a HO Sale and it’s cash only. The first item sold: Lita’s yeast infection medicine for one dollar.

Cryme Tyme realizes JBL is at the announce table and offer the goods to him. He says he’s the only person in America who doesn’t have some of Lita’s underwear so he gives them $100. The next item: Lita’s massager. That goes for 25 bucks and there’s only one thing left. It’s cheap, it’s wide, you can put your head in it: it’s Lita’s box. That goes for 20 bucks to end a hilarious segment.

Batista has nothing to say about the title match tonight. Booker attacked Batista at the contract signing and hit him in the throat with a scepter. After seeing a clip of it, Batista says he’s leaving tonight with the title.

Team DX vs. Team Rated-RKO

Team DX: Shawn Michaels, HHH, Hardy Boys, CM Punk

Team Rated-RKO: Edge, Randy Orton, Johnny Nitro, Mike Knox, Gregory Helms

This is Punk’s first major match and Jeff is Intercontinental Champion. DX plays to the crowd for a LONG time before the heel entrances. The fans of course LOVE Punk, so he gets to ask if the fans are ready. Helms, the current Cruiserweight Champion, is feuding with Matt Hardy at this point. Knox, a big power guy with a beard, has a chick named Kelly Kelly with him at the moment and she’s an exhibitionist. Rated-RKO are the Raw Tag Team Champions too so most of the gold in the company is in this match.

HHH asks Kelly to flash him and has Shawn cover his eyes. Knox comes in to stop it but Shawn kicks him in the face to eliminate him. Shawn to HHH: “Who was that guy?” Points for a funny bit if nothing else. Nitro comes in to speed things up but Shawn slides to the floor and puts his arm around Melina. We’ve got a comedy match here people. Off to Jeff who works on Nitro’s arm to continue their recent feud.

Off to Matt so the Hardys can hit some nice double team stuff. Nitro finally gets in a shot to the face and it’s off to Helms. Matt is slammed off the top and it’s off to Edge to stomp on Matt. Well that’s appropriate. Back to Helms for a suplex and it’s immediately off to Orton. After some very basic stuff, here’s Nitro again so Melina can SCREECH. Matt hooks the Side Effect and there’s the tag to Punk. Punk immediately starts his strikes and hits the knee/bulldog in the corner.

Nitro blocks the Rock Bottom but the second attempt (with an assist from Matt) sets up the Vice for the tap out. Edge comes in to face Punk and the fans are very pleased. Punk pounds on him in the corner but Orton guillotines Punk on the top rope to give the heels their first advantage. Randy comes in and hits a dropkick for two before it’s back to Helms. After some knees to the face, Helms hits a one knee Codebreaker to put Punk down.

Back to Orton for a slugout with Punk, resulting in the RKO taking Punk down. Why Randy can’t cover immediately isn’t quite clear but Shawn makes the save anyway. Edge gets the tag but spears the buckle. JR: “That middle turnbuckle isn’t in the match!” Hot tag brings in HHH to face Helms and the beating is on fast. A facebuster puts Helms down but the Edge-O-Matic breaks up the Pedigree. Everything breaks down and Jeff and Shawn dive on Rated-RKO.

Matt comes in with the Twist on Helms followed by a Swanton to make it 5-2. The heels take their belts and walk but the Hardys will have none of that. Team DX take turns beating up both members and it’s Sweet Chin Music to eliminate Edge. So it’s Orton vs. five guys now and Randy tries to run, but the Hardys and Punk stop him. Back in and it’s Chin Music and the Pedigree to complete the sweep.

Rating: C-. This was entertaining but it’s kind of a questionable ending when you consider the captains were in a pretty big feud. The guy that gets the big rub here is Punk, as he goes from a guy on the C show to rubbing elbows with two of the biggest stars ever and one of the best tag teams ever. Fun match here but it didn’t really accomplish much.

We recap Kennedy vs. Undertaker. Kennedy is a very loud guy that likes to challenge legends and would become Mr. Anderson in TNA. Basically Kennedy wants to break the legend of Undertaker, or about the same thing as about half the feuds Undertaker has had in years. It’s a first blood match tonight because Kennedy busted Undertaker open on Smackdown recently. Kennedy got a blood bath from Undertaker’s magic powers.

Kennedy isn’t worried but MVP (think Deion Sanders) comes up and notices the Vaseline on Kennedy’s forehead. I guess the referee isn’t watching the interview.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker

Kennedy immediately drops to the floor to try to get an early advantage, but Undertaker punches him down as soon as they get back inside. We head back to the floor and Kennedy gets punched over the announcers’ table with Undertaker in total control. We head to the crowd and Undertaker hits a pair of headbutts. Back to ringside and Kennedy gets in his first big move by sending Undertaker into the steps.

Kennedy tries to dive off the apron but gets caught and rammed into the post. This has been almost all Undertaker so far. We head back in and Undertaker busts out a superplex to put Kennedy down. The offense looks good but shouldn’t Undertaker be going for the head? I don’t know if internal bleeding counts but it hasn’t been mentioned in any first blood match I’ve ever seen. Kennedy hits Undertaker low but Undertaker immediately comes back with a kick to the face.

A buckle was taken off somewhere in there by Kennedy but Undertaker sends him into it twice in a row. Kennedy kicks Undertaker low again and Kennedy is bleeding from the mouth. He rolls to the floor before the referee can see it and here’s MVP with a towel to clean up the blood. They start to walk away, but MVP throws Kennedy back in the ring which is payback for Kennedy doing the same thing to MVP on Smackdown.

Undertaker pounds away in the corner but Kennedy drops him face first on the exposed buckle. Kennedy starts pounding away but MVP brings in a chair to hit….someone. It winds up hitting Undertaker and busts him open to give Kennedy the upset win. The fans boo that out of the building because Undertaker is such a legend at this point.

Rating: C. This was a decent brawl but the ending, which was to advance Undertaker/Kane vs. MVP/Kennedy, kind of sucks. The feud just never worked because at the end of the day, it’s two guys who are career midcarders at this point against two former World Champions who can beat up anyone. Kennedy never got to the point where they wanted him to be due to various reasons, but this is the fifth former World Champion he had beaten.

Kennedy beats up Undertaker post match but Undertaker snaps up and pounds him down as well. Undertaker WHACKS him with the chair to get a gasp from the crowd. JBL LOSES IT as Kennedy gets beaten up even more and tombstoned.

Sharmell tells Booker to be excited because tonight is Batista’s last chance.

Team Cena vs. Team Big Show

John Cena, Kane, Bobby Lashley, Sabu, Rob Van Dam

Big Show, Test, MVP, Finlay, Umaga

It’s Philadelphia and we’ve got Sabu and RVD on one team so I think you can guess the crowd reactions. Cena is Raw World Champion and Big Show is ECW Champion. Umaga, a Samoan and formerly Jamal of 3 Minute Warning is still undefeated and a monster. Finlay is an Irish brawler.

Naturally Cena is booed out of the building by the hardcore crowd. Cena and Umaga start things off with Cena getting knocked to the floor. Everything breaks down and Umaga gets a monitor to knock out RVD for a DQ. Umaga also destroys the rest of Team Cena because that’s what savages do.

We finally get down to Finlay vs. RVD but it’s quickly off to Test for some bland big man power stuff. Back to Irishman for some stomping and then to really mix things up, MVP comes in and stomps as well. Van Dam is bleeding from the mouth as MVP puts on a chinlock. Rob comes back with a cradle for two and a spin kick to take MVP down. Van Dam kicks all of the heels including a LOUD one to Finlay. Test tries to ram RVD into the post but since he’s big and dumb, Test’s head goes into it instead. Kane chokeslams MVP and the Five Star gets the pin for Rob.

While Van Dam is getting up, Test immediately comes in and kicks his head off to make it 4-3. Test gets sent to the floor and Lashley spears him down, followed by a tornado DDT from Sabu back inside for the pin. Show immediately chokeslams Sabu to make it 3-2 and it’s time for the giants to fight. They both grabs chokeslam grips but here’s Hornswoggle (the Little Bastard at the moment) for a distraction. Finlay clocks Kane with his club so Show can pin Kane after a chokeslam. Starting with MVP’s pin, those five eliminations all came within less than two minutes. I didn’t skip anything in between.

To recap, it’s Show/Finlay vs. Cena/Lashley. Cena comes in to face the monster but is immediately taken down. Off to Finlay for a clothesline and some good old fashioned cheating. Show sends Cena flying off a headbutt and it’s back to the heel corner. After more of a beating, Cena fights them both off and makes the hot tag to Lashley. Powerslam is escaped but a spear puts Finlay down for two.

A double clothesline from Show puts Cena and Lashley down and here’s Hornswoggle again. Cena loads him up in the FU and in the distraction, Lashley spears Finlay down to make it 2-1. Both good guys take their turns on Show including stuff like double DDTs and double suplexes. JR calls Cena cock strong and I don’t want to know what that one means. Lashley breaks up the chokeslam with a spear and the FU gets the final pin.

Rating: D. As I was writing that, it felt like I was just saying what was happening and nothing special was going on. The reason it felt like nothing was going on was because nothing was going on. This match was as paint by numbers as you could ever ask for and that makes for a VERY dull match. Cena hitting the FU on Show is always worth seeing, but this didn’t work at all.

JR says that Lashley is debuting at Survivor Series tonight which is flat out wrong. To be a bit fair though, JR wasn’t on commentary for that match last year.

The Extreme Elimination Chamber is coming.

We recap Booker T vs. Batista. Booker won the King of the Ring and became a king with a bad British accent before winning the title off Rey Mysterio. He kept cheating to beat Batista and tonight is Batista’s last shot at the title unless he wins. Batista never lost the title in the first place and had to drop it due to injury, so tonight is his last chance to regain what he believes is still his.

Before the match, Teddy comes out and says that if Booker gets counted out or DQ’ed, he loses the title.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Booker T

Booker is defending of course. Batista jumps him in the aisle and the referee says you have to get it in the ring. Why? Batista can win the title via DQ so no he doesn’t need to get it in the ring. Also the ruling said Booker loses if he gets counted out. It said nothing about him losing by countout so would a draw give Batista the title? Booker fires off some chops in the corner and is immediately punched in the face for his efforts. A suplex puts Booker down but he escapes an early Batista Bomb attempt.

After Booker gets back in, Batista hits a clothesline for two. This isn’t really working so far. Booker finally comes back with a hot shot to take over before sling shotting Batista’s throat into the bottom rope. Batista comes back with some right hands but Booker pokes him in the eye. We’re about five minutes into this and it’s not clicking at all. Big Dave comes out of nowhere with a side slam for two followed by a Jackhammer.

A Boss Man Slam gets two for Batista and they head to the apron to slug it out. Cole brings up a good question: what happens if there’s a double countout or double DQ? Egads now I’m thinking like Michael Cole. Presumably it would be a draw and Booker keeps the title but it’s not clear. A Sharmell distraction lets Booker take over as JBL goes on a tirade about Teddy Long being racist. Side kick puts Batista down for two. We hit a chinlock to fill in some time which is probably the last thing they should do right now. Batista comes back with some right hands and a belly to belly suplex for two.

Batista cranks things up and knocks Booker to the floor before sending him into the steps. Back in and a top rope shoulder gets two. The spinebuster gets the same but Booker grabs the Bookend for two. Batista comes back with the Batista Bomb but the champ grabs the rope. Sharmell gives Booker the title, Batista takes it from him and clocks Booker with it, new champion. That’s how the show ends: not with a Batista Bomb, but with Batista cheating.

Rating: D-. A horrible match to end a horrible show is always appropriate. Batista getting the title back was probably the right move as he was insanely over and hadn’t been champion since January. This match didn’t work at all though and it was the last time Booker would be near the World Title, which is probably a good thing if he’s as bad as he looked here.

Overall Rating: D-. When the second best match of your show is a group of guys in their late fifties or early sixties beating up male cheerleaders for ten minutes, your show is in trouble. There’s NOTHING worth seeing here at all and this show sucked. The other odd thing here is where the time went.

This show runs about two hours and forty minutes and the longest match (main event) doesn’t break fourteen minutes. There’s no big segment on it either so I have no idea where the time went. Other than the main event nothing is awful but there’s nothing worth watching. Either way, this is an awful show and probably the worst since the 90s.

Ratings Comparison

Team Legends vs. Spirit Squad

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero

Original: B

Redo: D+

Mickie James vs. Lita

Original: B

Redo: D

Team DX vs. Team Rated-RKO

Original: B

Redo: C-

Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker

Original: C+

Redo: C

Team Cena vs. Team Big Show

Original: D+

Redo: D

Batista vs. Booker T

Original: D-

Redo: D-

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D-

WHAT WAS I THINKING ON THOSE EARLIER MATCHES???

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/15/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2006-who-thought-batista-vs-booker-was-a-good-idea/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2006
Date: November 26, 2006
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 15,400
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, JBL, Michael Cole

It’s the 20th show in case you were wondering for some bizarre reason that I can’t comprehend. With the 2006 show, the only real difference is the induction of ECW into the company. It brings the third brand and at this point is still complete with the Originals and Heyman etc. Also there are some new faces such as Johnny Nitro (Morrison), Punk, MVP and Kennedy.

There are three Survivor Series matches here and the main event is Booker vs. Batista which had been done about a million times already but they figured what the heck we might as well do it again. Other than that, there’s not a lot here that jumps off the page at me.

Oh DX is here again as they’re feuding with Rated RKO, having just finished fighting Vince and Shane. Other than that, there’s just not a lot here. It looks kind of generic but sometimes cards like that are best. Here we go again as we’re very close to wrapping this series up.

The intro video is about as bland as you can get, but in this case it’s actually working. They talk very briefly about how this is the 20th Survivor Series and a new generation is here, followed by a quick build up for all seven matches. There’s not a lot here but it’s a nice change of pace from all of the stupid videos about Survival that we’ve heard for the last two or three years. After the four (ECW is left out) commentators talk about their show’s big matches, we’re ready to go.

Spirit Squad vs. Legends

The Spirit Squad is comprised of Kenny Dykstra, Johnny Jeter who was pretty awesome in OVW, a short guy named Mikey, and a guy named Nick, who would eventually be known as Dolph Ziggler. Spellcheck has never heard the name Dolph? Has it never seen Rocky 4? That’s just sad. Anyway, there’s also a 5th guy on the outside that never did anything. On the other side we have Arn Anderson on the floor with Dusty Rhodes, Sgt. Slaughter, Ron Simmons (really?) and Ric Flair in the ring.

Apparently Simmons was supposed to be Roddy Piper but he had been diagnosed with cancer so naturally he couldn’t wrestle. Ok in that case it’s a bit better. Naturally this is over the respect for the old timers thing which is about as basic of a storyline that will almost always work as you could ask for. Dusty comes out to his American Dream music so I’m happy. Simmons is rocking the catchphrase shirt and the APA music.

Anderson comes out to the Horsemen theme, so this is officially a cool show. Dang that music is awesome. I really love kayfabe as Flair and Anderson have tried to cripple Dusty at least half a dozen times over the years yet now they’re his partners. That could only work in wrestling. The Spirit Squad were a bunch of male cheerleaders. Yep, that’s about all that needs to be said. It amuses me greatly to see Ziggler in there looking like that.

We start out with Simmons against Mikey, because that’s a great way to open up a PPV. Ross says there’s an unlimited amount of combinations that could occur. Actually there are sixteen combinations that could happen while the match is still going on, but who am I to question the great mathematician known as Jim Ross? Ron beats down the whole heel team but gets tripped and goes after Kenny.

After he and Arn beat up Mikey, he’s counted out despite the referee never actually saying ten. Well I guess that’s as good of a way to get rid of him as any other, but I would have liked it to have lasted longer than two minutes. Mitch the manager gets thrown out too so there we go. Arn gets the same and I want to massacre that referee. This is kind of overkill here and even the fans are chanting bull.

When you can get a Philly crowd to cheer for you, you have officially won. On a replay we see that Anderson beat up Mitch. So wait, he can get thrown out for beating on someone not even in the match? What sense does that even begin to make? If your answer is none at all, YOU’RE RIGHT! Think about it: he’s getting in trouble for beating someone up that isn’t officially involved in the match. So could he be thrown out of the match for getting into a bar fight? See, it makes no sense.

Anyway, we’re up to Slaughter against Mikey now. Dusty gets a solid pop when he comes in, thankfully wearing a shirt. Flair gets less of a pop, but the chops make up for it. The heels are getting destroyed here which is just what shouldn’t have happened. I get that they’re legends, but isn’t the job of guys like these to put over young talent? I guess not as Sarge has the Cobra Clutch on Nicky. Man these guys are hard to tell apart other than Kenny.

I love how in today’s company, this would be so one sided the other way that it’s not even funny. With the referee distracted, Johnny comes in and kicks Slaughter in the back of the head and Nicky gets the easy pin to make it 4-2. In one of the stupidest looking things I’ve ever seen, with Nicky still down from the cover, Dusty casually walks in, measures him, and drops a very slow elbow on him to get the pin.

Seriously? That’s all it takes? A single elbow drop to beat someone? I get that Dusty was limited at best in the ring but he couldn’t pick him up and throw some punches and slam him or something? A freaking elbow drop gets the pin? Come on now. For the life of me I don’t get what the big deal about Kenny was. He was ok at best and that’s about all. After the really stupid (and insanely slow) Flip Flop and Fly, Dusty gets rolled up and Kenny pins him.

So now we have Flair vs. Kenny, Mikey and Johnny. Which of the jobbers is Flair going to take out first? It’s Mikey who gets taken out by a roll up with Flair’s feet on the ropes for a nice old school cheating pin. Flair truly was a master at taking something as simple as that and making it look cool and so completely evil when he was a heel. Sometimes less is more and Flair was the best there ever was in that area.

Ross points out that the Legends team had 21 world title reigns between them, but Flair has 16 of those. That’s just amusing. Flair hooks a quick inside cradle to make this Johnny vs. Ric Flair. Hmm, I’m not sure how this is going to go. I have to go with the guy in green. No way some old guy beats him is there? Oh never mind.

Even I can’t make this sound funny. The figure four gets the old guys the win about 45 seconds later. The Squad beats up Flair afterwards and surprisingly no help comes out for Flair.

Rating: C+. Eh this was what it was. They only had about ten minutes which is what it should have been. Other than Simmons, who wasn’t supposed to be in there anyway, all of the eliminations kind of made sense. Having Flair be the winner is ok I guess as he was at least an active wrestler at the time. His picking apart of the team at the end was great stuff as nothing he did was flashy or anything like that as he beat all three guys using very basic stuff.

That’s something that a lot of guys now could learn actually. The Figure Four was appropriate as he shouldn’t have gone for that with others around and he didn’t. When he was outnumbered he used fast stuff but once things were even he used his best. That’s terrific thinking there and it worked quite well. This wasn’t really about anything but nostalgia, but sometimes there’s nothing wrong with that, and this is a great example of one of those times.

Cole says that Philly is one of three cities to host all of the Big Four, with the others being New York City and Boston. That’s actually pretty cool.

Recap of Benoit vs. Chavo, which goes like this. Chavo and Vickie had allegedly been doing jack with Eddie’s estate or something like that which was never elaborated on. Benoit comes back from a hiatus and wins the US Title. Chavo also says that Rey is trying to steal the Guerrero name because that would be something evil.

We’ll of course ignore that Chavo and Vickie have been doing that for their whole careers but whatever. Anyway, Chavo injured Rey’s knee and put him out, so Benoit came to his rescue. That brings us here.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Chave Guerrero

Vickie actually has some pretty awesome cleavage. Since this is Benoit, it’s naturally an intense match. There’s not a lot to say here. It’s really just a lot of strikes from both guys mixed with the occasional attempt at the Crossface. I know that’s not a lot to go on but I really have nothing to say here. It’s insane to think that Benoit would be gone in less than a year. This is where Chavo is at his best: in there with another guy of about his size and just letting it go.

Both guys can wrestle as well as anyone else and Chavo, or Shavo as JBL refers to him as because he can’t pronounce his name for some reason, really is better than he’s given credit for. Vickie interferes about a dozen times here and it’s rather annoying. JBL compares it to cheating on your wife with some hot chick on the road. Dang what must his wife have thought of that line? Benoit misses the headbutt because of Vickie leading to Guerrero hitting the Frog Splash for two.

A massive Eddie chant breaks out because of that. Benoit goes for the Sharpshooter and gets shoved off, slamming into Vickie THANK GOODNESS. Chavo goes to check on her and the Crossface ends this. It was short but quite intense which was where Benoit shined.

Rating: B. Like I said, this was short but intense. Benoit could fight with the best of them but he could also wrestle better than the best of them which is what made him so successful. Chavo certainly can go too and it’s a shame that he’s a comedy jobber to this day. I really do feel bad for him, but he’s getting on TV so you can’t blame him for that. Solid match that was just long enough to not feel short.

The Elimination Chamber is coming back at December 2 Dismember. Oh dear this was awful in every sense of the word. Also, it’s A WEEK LATER. There’s a rant coming one day on that show as it’s about as much of a debacle as humanly possible, but I’ll save that for later.

Edge and Lita are with Todd Grisham. Tonight is Lita’s last match despite the fact that she’s the Women’s Champion. Edge offers some weak Philly jokes before doing the smarter thing and kissing Lita. He rants a bit more while Cryme Tyme is behind them sneaking into her locker room and stealing her stuff.

Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Lita

Like I said, this is Lita’s last night with the company. Mickie is at this point the queen of the short skirts which gave us some AWESOME visuals for a long time. For the life of me I don’t get how people don’t think she’s hot. Mickie is flat out gorgeous on so many levels. Granted Lita is somehow hotter which defies logic. Lita’s music truly does rock. This likely is going to go quick as it’s about as obvious as possible that Mickie walks out with the belt here.

Allegedly Lita is leaving due to the fans hating her, which is actually pretty creative. The fans boo people all the time yet this time the fans are actually getting rid of someone they can’t stand. Trish had left two months prior to this, so this is more or less the ending of the Women’s Division’s best years. More or less they’re just going through the motions here and it’s not that interesting.

To be fair, at least Lita isn’t being a witch like Goldberg and Lesnar were when they left and having a horrible match more or less on purpose. She’s not exactly lighting the world on fire or anything, but she’s certainly out there trying and that’s all I can ask of her. Mickie surprisingly kicks out of both the Litarana and the moonsault to a decent pop. My goodness Mickie has a nice figure.

After some back and forth reversals, Mickie hits the jumping DDT to get the pin and the division is officially in big trouble. That’s not a knock on Mickie by any means, but other than her around this time there was absolutely no one that could carry a decent match. She and Melina traded the belt a bit before Candice arrived and took the division over despite a rather severe lack of talent at the time.

Lita wants a mic as the fans are singing to her a familiar song. Actually she’s demanding that Lillian calls her the best Women’s Champion ever, which of course gets her booed again. It’s a shame she left because she was awesome as a heel. Anyway, after she whines a lot, Cryme Tyme, who was the hottest team on the planet around this time, comes out with the box, and it’s time for a HO SALE! Everything must go so have your money ready.

This really is hilarious as JTG has charisma to burn. He’s actually a lot better on the mic than he’s given credit for. They sell mainly underwear and bras with JBL offering $100 for some panties. They take the money and toss them into the crowd of course. Lita is freaking out over this as they pull out her vibrator. I love how the cops aren’t here as it’s clearly Lita’s stuff and she’s upset about this. The last item: it’s big, it’s wide, it’s cheap and you can fit your head in it.

It’s Lita’s box. As Cryme Tyme is leaving, you can hear some very profane in their song. That’s most interesting. You kind of have to feel bad for Lita that on her last night this is her sendoff, but dang that was great. It’s a shame that they never win jack in the ring, but geez they need to go back to doing stuff like this as it was hilarious.

Rating: B. Well, they made Mickie look strong and Lita looked fine on her way out so those two missions were certainly accomplished. Considering there was absolutely zero suspense about the ending, I’d say this was fine. There’s little drama but the match itself was fine.

Mickie was the future of the division so having her beat Lita clean after kicking out of her signature moves was the exact right thing to do. This was fine for what it was and the girls both looked hot. Couple that with a great comedy segment and this was sweet.

We go to an interview with Cole and Batista from earlier in the day. Cole asks a bunch of questions and Batista says nothing at all to anything. He just sits and stares straight ahead. After a clip of Booker attacking him on Smackdown, Batista still says nothing. Cole asks if he has anything at all to say and Batista takes off his glasses, looks at Cole and simply says “Tonight, I’m leaving as World Heavyweight Champion”. End of interview.

I LOVE that. How many times have you seen people do the exact same promo that absolutely nothing gets said in at all and it’s just the same stuff that we hear every month? This was directly to the point and made Batista look crazy, which is exactly the point. I loved this and it did its job to perfection.

Team DX vs. Team Rated RKO

DX, Hardys, Punk
Randy Orton, Edge, Mike Knox, Johnny Nitro, Gregory Helms

The feuds are pretty self explanatory here with Punk against Knox, Nitro against Jeff and Matt against Helms. We don’t get any stupid things like stories or anything like that. Why waste time there. Let’s just get theme music playing and get to it! Jeff is Intercontinental Champion here. For some reason Lillian calls Matt and Jeff Team Xtreme while Ross calls them their traditional names.

Punk gets a solid pop. He’s a rookie here and is still undefeated. Naturally since he’s young, over and good with a different gimmick, Vince decided that Hardcore Holly should outlast him in the Elimination Chamber. Heyman had wanted to put Punk over Big Show but Vince decided that Holly had more potential. For those of you keeping score, that’s Heyman – 1, Vince – 0. DX gets a big pop despite their entrance taking forever.

Who would have thought that at this time three years later Matt would be by far and away the least successful? After a longer version of the standard intro in which all of the faces try to get different sections of the crowd to cheer the loudest, we’re on to the heels. First of all though, we get a HUGE CM Punk chant. He gets to ask are you ready? That’s saying a lot. That really is a freaking stacked face team in there with what, 25 world titles between four guys?

Melina and Nitro come out first with her looking ridiculously hot. For some reason that no one gets, Kevin Federline was a character around this time and an A-list guy along with Nitro and Melina. Vince’s desperation to be in every facet of entertainment will never cease to amaze me. Helms, the Cruiserweight Champion and coming out to the most generic rock music of all time is next. Knox, sans awesome beard is somehow dating Kelly at this point. Her skirt might be 4 inches wide. That’s awesome.

Edge and Orton are the tag champions here and their mix of music is completely awesome. After about ten minutes of intros and another Punk chant we start off with Knox and HHH. HHH, being a selfish bastard as always, hits on Kelly. At the time Kelly was an exhibitionist character so she gets up to flash HHH but Knox cuts him off. He turns into Sweet Chin Music and it’s 5-4 after about 45 seconds. The fans are WAY into Punk here.

Naturally Hardcore Holly would get 10x the pops though. Shawn scares the heck out of Melina in a funny spot. Morrison is in now and the faces take their time beating the living tar out of him. Edge beats on Matt for a bit which is dripping with history. I’m glad the captains aren’t staying on the apron until the end. Matt is bleeding from the mouth. I guess that’s better than being From The South. Punk comes in and gets cheered louder than anyone in the match.

After a few seconds, Nitro is tapping fast. He needs to bring that back, even as a secondary move. I’m talking about the Anaconda Vice in case there was any confusion. Helms and Edge beat down Punk, but he still gets massive chants. They’ll be silent when Holly shows up though. You know he’s a real star. He won a tag title. Helms busts out a one leg version of what will become known as the Codebreaker. The RKO puts Punk more or less out cold but Shawn breaks up the pin.

Punk finally gets the tag to HHH who comes in for the first time. Naturally he cleans house for awhile but it’s time for the big brawl, leading to the Hardys taking everyone out. The Twist of Fate and Swanton takes out Helms to make it 5 vs. Rated RKO. The heels grab their belts and try to leave but the Hardys cut them off. They all beat on Edge for awhile and then he gets kicked in the face for the pin. Ross calls him a Canadian Piñata which is kind of funny.

Randy tries to run through the crowd but every face not named DX catches him and the DX Double Team Finishing Combination, which is a long way to say Sweet Chin Music and a Pedigree take him out for the clean sweep. Massive posing and celebrating follows.

Rating: B. This was very fun. It was fast paced and it got the point over perfectly. Also it doesn’t bury Edge and Orton because not even two A-list guys like them could overcome an obstacle like this. This was a great example of perfect booking and a great Survivor Series match. Punk’s pops are the most surprising part here though as they were by far and away the biggest thing of the match.

Vince is a freaking idiot to not let Punk get pushed because he wasn’t a big enough name yet or whatever. That’s a great example of his ego taking control of his senses. Punk would get pushed, but they freaking pushed Holly over him, and for what? The idea of paying dues? Come on now Vince, listen to the people and grow up for a change.

Time to recap the only real push that Kennedy ever got. This was around the time where he kept beating world champions and he’s challenged Taker at his show. Oddly that’s not Mania but whatever. They did manage to make this a First Blood match which helps a lot as it allows Kennedy to potentially beat Taker but Taker doesn’t have to actually get pinned. As for the story here, Kennedy says that he’s young so he has to take out the old man that is Taker.

How many people have used this same story? That’s just a painful lack of creativity. Also I would be willing to bet that at some point in the promos leading up to this, Kennedy has said he’s not afraid of the dark because no one ever has been. In the highlight package, Kennedy says that at Survivor KENNEDY! Sorry I had to get that joke in at least once.

He says that at Survivor Series the decade and a half of destruction will end. Well that’s all well and good for a threat but the decade and a half ended the year before. We’re closing in on two decades now. Is Kennedy planning on bringing a time traveling Delorean to the match or something? That would be cooler than he is, so maybe it should happen.

Undertaker vs. Mr. Kennedy

Before the match, Kennedy is talking to Krystal about how this is the biggest match of his career when MVP comes up. I almost forgot: they were teaming a bit at the time and actually had a very short feud with the Brothers of Destruction. I’ll give you two guesses as to which team got their heads handed to them. Kennedy has Vaseline on his forehead which keeps fists from making full contact and thereby opening up his head. That’s actually pretty smart.

Kennedy is wearing the Norcal shirt so I’m making a good bit here. Why does the blood have to come from the head? I’d love to see someone come out with a needle and poke their opponent’s finger to get the win. I’d half die of laughter. Kennedy desperately needs his new music at this point as the one he’s using here is painfully generic. He takes off two of the turnbuckle pads as JBL calls him the future of Smackdown. Again, that’s something that when you hear it now it’s just incredibly funny.

Holy crap Cole made a Back to the Future reference! I swear that wasn’t foreshadowing or anything like that when I made the Delorean joke earlier. Wow that actually made my review. I’m stunned. As Taker comes out Kennedy pulls off another buckle covering. Taker really does look awesome here. After over ten minutes since we started talking about this match, the bell finally rings. Ok, that’s just WAY too long.

I have no interest in watching it after that long, but at least this looks cool so let’s get to it. They keep pointing out that this is anything goes. We get it guys, chill a bit. This is really just a brawl/Taker beating up Kennedy to start us off, which I guess makes the most sense. I’m liking this actually. It’s a lot better than I expected, and I think that’s because they’re going on a rather slow style which allows them to set up to a big finish.

That’s fine, although I’m not sure why Taker is working on Kennedy’s ribs. I guess it’s because he wants to slow him down? Does that makes sense? I guess in some way it does, but it just doesn’t feel right. I’ve rarely seen anyone bleed from the stomach, at least in a wrestling match. Taker is completely dominant here. Cole asks about the logic of attacking the ribs as well, which has JBL saying Taker wants Kennedy to bleed from the mouth.

That’s…..kind of stupid but it works I suppose. A low blow does little to slow down Taker, which I kind of like I think. It keeps the whole painless man thing working. Another low blow actually works though so the first was completely pointless. Kennedy goes to the floor and is bleeding from the mouth but MVP comes out with a towel to clean it up. I’m surprised it can clot that fast but whatever.

With Taker back in control, MVP comes in with a chair for no apparent reason and cracks Taker with it to bust him open. That was just odd. Post match, Kennedy beats on him a bit more and gets in his face with the mic for his catchphrase. Taker of course grabs him by the throat and it’s beatdown time.

Taker KILLS him with the chair which gets a holy crap chant from a Philly crowd. That says a lot. A tombstone ends this beating as Taker poses to close the segment with JBL talking about how awesome and scary Taker is.

Rating: C+. This started off solid but it felt like the ending came from absolutely nowhere. MVP coming down wasn’t needed as he was swinging for Kennedy and it was just a big mess. I get why they had Kennedy win here as it makes the most sense, but dang this was just a mess near the end.

For the life of me I don’t get why they booked it like that. This is a great example of a match that just needed more time to flesh itself out. Another five minutes or so would have made this much better.

Booker isn’t worried about Batista tonight.

Again with no transition, we’re at our penultimate match.

Team Cena vs. Team Big Show

Cena, RVD, Kane, Lashley, Sabu
Big Show, MVP, Test, Finlay, Umaga

Dang those are some pretty motley crews of tag teams. Lashley is just becoming a bit deal, Kane is Kane, RVD is pretty worthless and Sabu just sucks. Test is the worst excuse for a big man ever and Finlay never really did anything other than have a midget for a son. This just doesn’t look good at all on paper. Let’s get this over with. Cena is between feuds with Show and Umaga here. We start with Umaga and Cena which would become the title feud very soon after this.

The Champ puts Umaga on the floor with a clothesline and the savage reacts savagely. He rips up the table of course and gets out a monitor which he blasts RVD, Sabu and Cena with for the fast DQ. Well that was abrupt. I get that they want to keep him hot but that’s a bit, shall we say extreme? I get what they’re trying to do here but it is a bit much. Granted it puts the faces at an early disadvantage so that’s mission accomplished if nothing else.

After that insanity we’re back with Finlay vs. RVD. Test comes in to beat on RVD a bit as Test continues to just be a failure on many levels. Vince to his credit though kept trying to push him despite him completely sucking at it. After about a minute in there Finlay comes back in just in case you missed him. Since he’s had his face kicked in for a good long while now Van Dam is bleeding from the mouth.

This is just not interesting at all for some reason despite there being a lot of names in there that are certainly A-list guys. I guess it’s that there’s no way Cena’s team is losing here but whatever. Van Dam hits one heck of a kick on Finlay which I think wasn’t supposed to be that solid. He caught him great though and it looked awesome. After a rather weak brawl, Kane interferes and hits a chokeslam on MVP to set up the Five Star and make it 5-3.

As RVD gets up though, Test hits the SICKEST big boot I’ve ever seen to take him out. Even Kane on the apron was knocked back by just looking at it. I mean Kane is just watching this and he looks like he got hit by a right hand and he’s only wincing because of how solid a kick that was. That was completely sick and no one would kick out of that. Based on that kick alone, I’d buy Test as a main event guy.

Go find a video of this match to see how sick that was. I’m impressed. Sabu immediately runs in and rolls Test up but since that’s a wrestling move it doesn’t work. On the floor Lashley hits a spear on Test to allow Sabu to hit a Tornado DDT to get the win on him, yet again crushing any semblance of a push that Test could have gotten. Show walks in and a simple chokeslam ends purple pants.

I know this is just listing stuff but there’s maybe 30 seconds between falls, which is counting people coming in, the moves and the counts. That leaves little time for anything else. Kane comes in. Oh in case you lost track, it’s Kane, Cena and Lashley against Finlay and Show. To follow up on that kick, RVD is just now leaving. That’s insane. Kane is 200lbs lighter than Show. That’s even scarier.

During a double choke from the big men, the man known as Little Bastard who will eventually be named Hornswoggle comes in and distracts the referee long enough for Kane to get smacked with the club and then chokeslammed to make this 2-2. This feels like they ran out of time in the middle of the match. Now we get Show against Cena with John being booed badly. After too long of a beating on Cena Lashley gets the hot tag and cleans house.

Show takes both guys down though to set up a pretty bad elimination for Finlay. The Irishman rolls Horny into the ring and is going to use him as a battering ram but Lashley hits a running punch to the ribs which is called a spear. Cena tries to FU Horny but Show stops him. Cena is just flat out hated in this town. Who would have seen that coming?

Once it’s 2-1, I don’t think Show got in any offense at all. Well, that’s a great way to make your champion look just before the first ECW PPV isn’t it guys? After the third Lashley spear of the match (learn some new moves for goodness’s sake) the 500lb FU ends this. Massive celebrations follow.

Rating: D+. What was the point of this? Cena was in the middle of his feuds here and the rest was just kind of a big preview of the awful Chamber match next week. Most of these guys were seemingly thrown together and told to go have a twelve minute Survivor Series match.

WAY too much of this was rapid fire eliminations which rarely if ever work. I really wasn’t too big on this but some cool spots make it ok. Also it’s short, which is a big problem but in another way it’s also the best thing about it. Try having that make sense.

Hey! There’s another PPV in a week and even though Vince is going to announce only two matches and go completely against what the fans are cheering for because he knows better. I mean really think about it. The fans are chanting for Punk despite HHH and HBK and one of the most popular tag teams of all time being in there, but he naturally didn’t get to last as long as that master of the ring, Hardcore Holly. Vince, grow up. You really need to.

We get what I guess you would call a recap of Booker vs. Batista. The idea is simple: Batista has tried twice or so already and hasn’t gotten the belt, so this is his last chance which gives the ending away already. This led to the ridiculously annoying Sharmell shouting ALL HAIL KING BOOKER!, about once every three seconds. It was a decent idea for a drinking game. Batista had been forced to relinquish the title nearly a year ago due to injury and hasn’t gotten it back yet. Yep, that’s about it.

Smackdown World Title: King Booker vs. Batista

Teddy Long comes out and says exactly the same thing I just did, but adds that if Booker is counted out or disqualified Batista gets the belt, again making sure that the ending of the Batista Bomb is set in stone. I’ve always shaken my head over the little spin move that Batista would do when he was jumping up and down. Of course it’s up and down as I don’t think you can jump any other way.

Actually according to AJ Styles’ old music you can jump to the left which you can also do in the Time Warp so there we are. That was a rather pointless rant but whatever. This is a long entrance and I’m not that interested in the match itself. King Booker was either brilliant or a complete failure and I’m still not sure which. If nothing else it gave him an actual gimmick. Before this he was just Booker T.

Cole says the following great line: “There’s the Animal, pacing like a caged animal.” Does that just sound stupid to anyone else? Good grief Booker is slower than Taker when it comes to entrances. Thankfully Batista jumps him so we get to this faster. Wow…this is very boring. There’s just nothing at all out of the ordinary here as it’s just Batista beats on Booker but as he goes for the Bomb Booker hits the floor. Wow how exciting.

This was around the time where Smackdown was almost universally looked down on for being awful and I can certainly see how that’s the conception. It’s been all Batista so far meaning that the Booker comeback is coming very soon. Yep there it is. This is just predictable. JBL tries to make us believe that this is the big match of the show.

There’s a big difference between going on last and being the main event, although there really wasn’t a main event on this card anyway so maybe that’s a fair statement to make. There’s a very limited reaction from the crowd here as for one thing this is in Philadelphia or as it’s more commonly known Smark city #1 or #2 based on your thoughts on New York City.

Batista hits a Jackhammer to even less of a reaction. Sharmell interferes and thereby gives Booker the advantage. After some more generic back and forth stuff we discuss the idea that Teddy Long is trying to get the belt off Booker because he’s racist. Sadly, that’s by far the most entertaining aspect of this match. They keep changing the story about the rules of the title.

At one point it’s he doesn’t get a shot at Booker again, then it’s at the title ever. Make up your minds on the pointless stipulations guys. I’m about to fall asleep from this match as it’s really that bad. Actually it’s not bad, but just boring on so many levels. Batista is treating him like a jobber in ever sense of the word. To up the drama/excitement, which is to say actually have some, Batista hits a shoulder block from the top.

JBL says it’s anyone’s ball game, which explains why Booker has been getting his face kicked in for about five minutes. Booker hits a random Book End so he can use the Spinerooni. Batista pops up and hits the Batista Bomb but Booker grabs the bottom rope. Sharmell interferes (for some reason that word was hard to spell) and Booker misses a belt shot, and Batista nails him with the belt for the title. Wait what? That’s how they’re ending this?

He has Booker more or less dead and he doesn’t even use the freaking Batista Bomb? To even further the stupidity of this, he kicked Booker in the ribs to make him drop the title, so he was in perfect position for the Bomb. That was a stupid ending because it makes Batista look both heelish and weak. That was awful.

Rating: D-. This was AWFUL. It was boring, the ending was never in doubt, and yet they somehow managed to botch that too. Batista breathed life back into the title though as he and Taker would soon start their mega feud over the belt, but seriously, this was the best they could do? It was like a main event for the sake of saying they had a main event which is just stupid. I want my fifteen minutes back! Awful way to end the show, plain and simple.

Overall Rating: C-. Again that’s being generous. The first half of this show is great but after that the whole thing just falls apart at the seams. The second half of this show just doesn’t work at all for me. The two main Survivor Series matches were just not good, plain and simple.

The main event was garbage of the highest degree and the whole show just falls flat for me. There’s some ok stuff here but it really just isn’t working at all for me. The first few matches, mainly the Benoit/Chavo match were actually pretty good. The show just doesn’t feel big at all and it just doesn’t work. I’d avoid it if I were you.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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IMG Credit: WWE

One Night Stand 2006
Date: June 11, 2006
Location: Hammerstein Ballroom, New York City, New York
Attendance: 2,460
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s time for another ECW show, but this one is a good bit different than what we had last year. While last year’s show was a seemingly stand alone reunion, this is more of a launchpad for the ECW relaunch. The big main event is Rob Van Dam cashing in his Money in the Bank contract for the WWE Title shot but there is also a heck of a grudge tag match between Mick Foley/Edge vs. Terry Funk/Tommy Dreamer. Let’s get to it.

Here’s a very emotional Paul Heyman to get things going. He thanks the wrestlers who wanted to be hardcore instead of a superstar and declares that the tribe of extreme has risen again. This time the Kool-Aid is being poured down the throats of a new generation because they’re back on TV (Heyman: “With a much better deal than we had last time.”) this week on Sci-Fi. This is all because of the fans and Heyman thanks every single one of them. We wrap it up with this show being better than Raw and Smackdown because it’s the only way to finish something like this. You could see how much this means for him and it’s great.

Opening sequence with that still awesome ECW On TNN song.

Tazz vs. Jerry Lawler

Lawler comes out with that great evil grin of his and you know he’s loving this kind of a reaction. He does make sure to go over and slap Joey Styles (I’d cheer for that), who jumps into the ring to choke Lawler. That’s broken up so Lawler tries the piledriver, earning himself the Tazmission for the choke out in about thirty seconds. Exactly what it should have been and probably had to be given Tazz’s health issues.

We look at WWE vs. ECW Head To Head with Big Show joining ECW in a nice surprise.

Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton

Orton’s entrance gets pyro and Joey is aghast at the great heel touch. Angle gets a heck of a reception of his own. Orton bails to the floor after Orton tries to go low on him, causing the fans to call him a certain nickname for a cat. Back in and the early stages of an ankle lock sends Orton right back to the floor as he can’t figure out how to start here. This time around Orton gets headlocked takeover as the fans chant F*** YOU ORTON.

Back up and Orton bails to the floor again as the fans are all over him for the fourteenth time. Orton heads back in and gets smacked in the face, which the fans describe as being B**** SLAPPED. Angle takes him down on the mat again and then offers Orton his head for a headlock. That just earns Orton a belly to back suplex as Angle is toying with him. Angle misses a charge into the post though and Orton finally gets a chance.

The fans implore Angle to F*** HIM UP so he slams Orton down without much effort. A hard whip into the corner cuts Angle down again and a knee drop gets two. Orton fights out of a choke attempt as the fans say he swallows. The chinlock keeps Angle down and the fans immediately dub it boring. Angle fights up and sends him into the corner, setting up the German suplex to a big pop. They trade uppercuts until Angle rolls the German suplexes to put Orton down again.

Orton’s dropkick gets two but the Angle Slam gets the same. Fans: “BREAK HIS ANKLE!” The ankle lock is broken up in a hurry and Orton’s backbreaker is good for two more. Orton goes up top for the high crossbody but Angle rolls through for another near fall. A clothesline blasts Angle but he counters a cradle into the grapevine ankle lock for the tap.

Rating: B. I know Orton might not be the most popular guy but he’s capable of having some very good matches when he’s in there with the right person. Angle is on a roll at this point though and this was the Wrestling Machine version. I know he’s an outsider and such, but Angle has so much intensity that you can believe he’s all in on ECW. I bought it and they had a pretty great match to really start the show off.

The fans are ALL OVER Orton as he is carried out.

FBI vs. Super Crazy/Tajiri

It’s Little Guido/Tony Mamaluke with Big Guido for the FBI. Well at least it’s not losing to Vito in a dress on Smackdown. Mamaluke goes for Crazy’s arm to start and then flips over with a hammerlock as Joey goes into his “I get to call moves now” deal. Crazy hiptosses Mamaluke down as we hit the NACHO LIBRE chants. Mamaluke grabs a short armscissors but Crazy powers him up and hits a big faceplant. Guido and Tajiri come in and it’s time to start the rapid fire (and hard) kicks.

The Fujiwara armbar has Tajiri in the ropes but he’s right back up to crank on the leg for a bit. Guido gets put in the Tree of Woe so Mamaluke comes in for the save, only to get tied up as well. Crazy and Tajiri hit the stereo dropkicks to send the FBI to the floor and Crazy hits the Asai moonsault. Big Guido jumps Crazy though and the little one sends him into the barricade. Back in and Crazy tries a backdrop but holds the leg a bit, making it a backdrop/flapjack combination.

After that near disaster, Mamaluke holds Crazy in face for a hard dropkick from Guido. Crazy is fine enough to hit a regular flapjack for the hot tag to Tajiri. Guido has to save Mamaluke from a Black Widow so Tajiri starts kicking everyone down. The FBI are whipped into each other and it’s a pair of Tarantulas. Big Guido comes in and gets kicked down just as fast, only to have Crazy get kicked out to the floor. A double fisherman’s buster finishes Tajiri.

Rating: C+. These guys worked well back in ECW and they still have it here. They had a fast paced match with Big Guido offering just enough interference to keep Tajiri and Crazy looking strong in defeat. There’s a reason that these matches were so popular back in the day and they still work well here.

Post match here’s Big Show to clean out all three Italians in a hurry.

Here’s JBL in the balcony to run down ECW as only he can. JBL talks about how Rob Van Dam is only becoming a star because of Vince McMahon and ECW is going to the Sci-Fi channel. Tazz is going with them, but he’s lucky to be leaving because JBL is going to be taking Tazz’s place on the Smackdown commentary team. JBL is perfect for this and much like Heyman, you can feel that he believes a lot of what he is saying.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Sabu

Mysterio is defending and it’s under Extreme Rules. They both have chairs during the Big Match Intros but the referee makes them put them down for some reason. Instead Sabu goes for the leg to start but then they come to their senses and grab the chairs. After a quick duel, Mysterio gets sent into the corner for Air Sabu. Mysterio does the same thing into a hurricanrana but it’s too early for the 619.

Instead Sabu chairs him to the floor and it’s already time for a table. Sabu bridges it between the apron and the ring but Rey is back up with a top rope moonsault press back inside. Rey gets caught in the ropes though and Sabu hits a quick top rope legdrop for two more. The Arabian Facebuster gets two so Sabu sets up another table at ringside, only to get caught with a springboard seated senton through the wood.

Rey seems a little banged up as well but he’s fine enough for a springboard Fameasser for two. Back up and Sabu hits a springboard leg lariat into the Triple Jump Moonsault (mainly landing on Rey’s face) for two more. Rey tries another 619 but gets a chair pelted at his head instead. Sabu puts him on the table and Rey stands up, meaning it’s a running springboard DDT through the table….and here are the officials to say the match is thrown out.

Rating: B-. A no contest stoppage. In ECW. Meaning Mysterio can’t even win in another promotion. It’s kind of a shame as they were having a heck of a match until the end but at the same time, do you really want to risk Sabu being out there that much longer? The Mysterio stuff is what it is and while you knew Sabu wasn’t going to win the title, maybe it shouldn’t be booked in the first place to avoid Mysterio not winning either.

We recap Mick Foley/Edge vs. Terry Funk/Tommy Dreamer. Foley and Edge had a hardcore classic at Wrestlemania so they joined forces and declared themselves co-Hardcore Champions. Foley then ran down the history of ECW, saying that he and Edge had surpassed anything that they had ever done. Terry Funk came out and stood up for both hardcore and to Foley, who saw him as a father figure. Since ECW was mentioned, Dreamer came as the story’s pack-in wrestler so it’s time for a tag match.

Before the match, Foley comes out to soak in the YOU SOLD OUT chants. Foley says he did indeed sell out…Madison Square Garden. He did used to love ECW when it was led by a visionary: Stephanie McMahon. Foley: “LONG LIVE THE ALLIANCE!” Edge and Lita come out with Edge saying this is ECW’s Christmas, and just like Santa Claus, all of their fans are old, fat and bald. Lita says Funk and Dreamer are the innovator of silence. Lita says when she sat on Dreamer’s face for the pin, it was the most action Dreamer has ever gotten, even from that woman of his.

Tommy Dreamer/Terry Funk vs. Mick Foley/Edge

Extreme Rules. Lita is here so Beulah McGillicutty is out with Dreamer and Funk. Before the match, Beulah says that she’s shocked to see what comes out of Lita’s mouth being worse than what goes into it. Since Lita likes threesomes, let’s make this a six person tag.

Tommy Dreamer/Terry Funk/Beulah McGillicutty vs. Edge/Mick Foley/Lita

Extreme Rules. Dreamer and Edge grapple to no avail so it’s off to Funk to slap Foley around a bit. Everything breaks down and Dreamer gets to spit some beer into the air while Funk hammers Foley against the barricade. It’s time to bring in the weapons with Dreamer and Funk cleaning house in a hurry. Foley unloads with right hands against the barricade and Edge ladders Dreamer in the face. The spear into the ladder is countered with a hiptoss though and Funk comes back in with the helicopter ladder.

Funk goes up but gets shoved down for the huge crash. Lita kicks Dreamer low to break up the Death Valley Driver so the fans dub her a crack w****. It’s time for the barbed wire board and Dreamer is slammed down onto it, with his arm being caught in it for a nasty visual. Edge and Foley pick it up but Funk trips them down, sending the wire face first into Foley’s face. Foley gets sent head first into the board but Edge is back up to crotch Dreamer onto the barricade.

Funk gets crushed with the barbed wire board and Foley wraps some wire around his arm. With Funk caught in the wire, Foley cuts the head open so Funk can crawl around and scream as only he can. Medics come out to get Funk to the back and it’s down to 3-2. Foley busts out the barbed wire baseball bat so Lita can drop a leg onto the bat between Dreamer’s legs. The fans want Sandman as Beulah is actually standing on the apron and reaching for a tag.

That’s so dumb that it’s downright adorable. Wanting more in on the fun, Foley drags Beulah in, sending Dreamer into a fit of violence. That earns him a Mandible Claw into the spear but Edge goes over to Beulah instead. Edge grabs a rather suggestive pumphandle on Beulah but here’s Funk with a barbed wire 2×4. The distraction lets Dreamer get in a double low blow and Funk starts wrecking things. That’s not good enough though so, as Bubba Ray Dudley said, why don’t we just light it on fire?

Using the flaming 2×4 wrapped in barbed wire (geez), Funk knocks Foley off the apron and through the barbed wire board, sending a bunch of people with fire extinguishers to put him out. Edge knocks Funk onto the barbed wire as well though, leaving Dreamer to DDT Edge down. Dreamer chokes Edge with the barbed wire as the women get in the catfight. The Death Valley Driver plants Lita but Edge barb wires Dreamer too. The spear with a rather suggestive cover finishes Beulah.

Rating: B+. I liked this way more than I was expecting to as they beat the heck out of each other and the women made things a little bit better. Foley was turning back the clock a bit here and Funk continues to be more and more amazing every time I watch him. There’s something so great and completely unique about him that you can’t take your eyes off of him no matter what he’s doing. Great stuff throughout.

Commentary is impressed as Funk has to be taken out of the wire and looks more annoyed than anything else.

Balls Mahoney vs. Masato Tanaka

Tanaka has a bad shoulder coming in but is fine enough to take Mahoney down with an early armbar. A running forearm in the corner rocks Mahoney, who comes right back out with a powerslam for two. The BALLS punches have the fans chanting along, with Joey comparing it to the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Fair enough actually.

They head outside with Mahoney grabbing a beer and hitting Tanaka in the head. Tanaka sends him into the barricade (near a fan with a PORK sign) and hits a superplex back inside. Mahoney hits one of his own for two and it’s time for a chair duel. Tanaka’s shot misses though and Mahoney chairs him in the head for the pin.

Rating: C-. The ending made me cringe and this was nothing more than a filler match between the two main events but it worked out fine. Mahoney was popular with the fans and Tanaka almost had to be on the show after last year’s great match with Mike Awesome. Good enough match here and it did what it was supposed to do.

We recap Rob Van Dam vs. John Cena for the Raw World Title. Van Dam won Money in the Bank and is cashing in on some friendly grounds as he tries to jump up to the next level. Cena is ready to come into enemy territory and this might be a bit of a rough night for him.

The ring announcer sets up the main event…but here’s Eugene to interrupt and say he loves ECW. His uncle Eric Bischoff used to tell him that he was as smart of an ECW fan. The fans aren’t pleased, which he thinks is a U for EUGENE chant. Eugene even has a poem about how much he loves ECW (“I want to hug all of you and I want a picnic with Sabu!”)….and here’s a rather ticked off Sandman (minus Enter Sandman, which takes away a lot of the impact) to can him beyond all logical necessity.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Rob Van Dam

Cena is defending under Extreme Rules and OH MY GOODNESS THE HATRED IS STRONG. The fans boo Cena so far out of the building, with the famous IF CENA WINS WE RIOT banner making it all the more perfect (mainly because these people would in fact riot). Cena tries to throw the shirt to the crowd but they throw it back four times, making him seem a little shaken, which you don’t see too often (then again, you don’t see a crowd like this very often either).

This is a level of hatred you don’t see very often but thankfully Van Dam does the finger pointing to get the focus off of Cena a bit. The fans throw toilet paper at Cena as the bell rings and there’s the YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chant. Cena gets a quick two off a fisherman’s suplex but the chants continue. Van Dam is back with a spinning kick to the face and the fans give him a WHOLE F***ING SHOW chant.

Back in the BOO/YAY punches are on with Cena knocking Van Dam outside. Fans: “SAME OLD S***!” Cena follows with a top rope ax handle to the floor and the fans still aren’t impressed. Since he knows how to be a bit of a heel when he wants to be, Cena holds up the title but Van Dam kicks him away. A moonsault off the apron brings up the RVD chants again but another one off the barricade is shoved into the crowd.

Cena does the bravest thing in his career by following him out but Van Dam is right back with the spinning kick to the back over the barricade. Van Dam hits the slingshot legdrop on the apron and there’s the skateboard dropkick to drive a chair into Cena’s face. Rolling Thunder onto a chair onto Cena gets two but Cena gets the chair up to block the split legged moonsault. The YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chants start up again as Cena wedges a chair in the corner.

Van Dam goes head first into said chair for two and Cena rubs the salt in with the Shuffle. The FU takes too long though and Rob scores with a spinwheel kick. Rob drops him onto the apron and hits a dropkick to the floor for another knockdown. It’s table time but Cena pulls him down into the STFU. The rope is grabbed, sending Cena into a shoving match because rope breaks shouldn’t matter here.

Cena decks the referee and throws in some steps to get more violent. A shot to the head gets two from a Smackdown referee but here’s a guy in a motorcycle helmet to spear Cena through a table in the corner. Of course it’s Edge and Rob is back up with the Five Star, with Paul Heyman running in to count the pin to give Van Dam the title.

Rating: B+. This is a great example of a match that is carried even higher by the crowd reaction. The fans hated Cena and everything he represented, which made things that much better. They had a really good match on their own but the crowd reaction took it to another level. On top of that, it was a heck of a match because the two of them are able to bring it on the big stage under the bright lights. They had a lot of things going on here, and that’s how it should be in an ECW moment. Good stuff, and the only ending they could have had.

Rob is announced as the new ECW Champion and the huge celebration is on. The locker room comes out to celebrate with the champ as Heyman looks very pleased to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. All of the ECW stuff aside, this was a heck of a show and one of the better things that WWE has had in a long time. This felt more like a WWE show with a twist than an ECW show and in this case, that worked out well. Instead of having the ECW centered show, they focused on bringing WWE together with ECW and turned into something a lot more unique as a result. I really liked this one and it gives me hope for the ECW relaunch, though it’s going to be hard to top what they did here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

WWE vs. ECW Head To Head
Date: June 7, 2006
Location: Nutter Center, Dayton, Ohio
Attendance: 4,700
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles, Tazz

This is a special show to help hype up One Night Stand while also giving us more of an introduction to the show. It was actually shown live for a bit of a change of pace and that might make things a little more interesting. I’m not sure what to expect here but hopefully it lives up to ECW’s positive hype so far. Let’s get to it.

Earlier today, Mick Foley gave Raw and Smackdown a pep talk.

Paul Heyman gave ECW one of their own and it’s a little bit better, believe it or not.

Opening sequence.

Commentary bickers at each other and Tazz and Lawler have to be held back.

Rey Mysterio vs. Rob Van Dam

Non-title and No DQ. They shake hands to start as commentary is going at it already, which is likely going to be the case all night. The feeling out process goes nowhere to start and the fans are rather behind Van Dam. A gorilla press drop into a standing moonsault gives Van Dam two as Joey rants about knowing move names and Tazz being there to analyze them. Rob drops him onto the barricade but misses the spinning kick, allowing Rey to hit a heck of a plancha to the floor.

We take a break and come back with Rey getting crotched on top so Rey can hit the top rope kick to the face. A slingshot legdrop hits Rey and Rob kicks him into the corner. Rob skateboards a chair into Rey’s face into the corner for two but tries to roll forward with the chair in hand, dropping it on the mat in the process. That lets Rey catch him on top for the super sitout bulldog onto the chair but Dropping The Dime hits chair instead. The Five Star finishes Mysterio.

Rating: C+. It was fun while it lasted, though the No DQ stuff added nothing and could have been completely dropped without changing much of anything. On top of that, you have Mysterio losing again, as they are now inventing new shows to have him get pinned elsewhere. That might not be the best idea when you are setting up the big title match with Sabu, but at least Rob got a nice win. There probably should be someone else for him to face, but at least he got the win.

The ECW locker room celebrates as Rey struggles to his feet and picks up the title.

Here’s Kurt Angle for a chat. He isn’t happy with what happened last night when Randy Orton attacked him. Angle has broken a lot of ankles over the years and none of them was any sweeter than Orton’s. This Sunday, Orton and Angle are facing off for the first time ever (Huh?) and it’s Orton vs. ECW Angle. Cue Orton, to say that going from Raw to ECW is like going from being in a blockbuster to being in adult films. Yeah Orton may be facing ECW’s Kurt Angle, but Angle will be facing Monday Night Raw’s Randy Orton. Angle is happy though because he isn’t going to have to answer to anyone, including Vince McMahon. Orton rants about Angle costing him the World Title and now it’s payback time. Angle: “What the h*** are you talking about Randy?” Orton says it’s his destiny to destroy ECW and it’s time to start on Sunday.

Mickie James vs. Jazz

Non-title. Jazz works on the arm to start and kicks at the ribs to slow him down. They head outside with Jazz hitting a Thesz press off the apron to take her down again. Back in Jazz hits the Jazz Stinger for two but the MickieDT is good for the pin in a hurry. That was Mickie’s only significant offense.

After looking at ECW beating him down last week, John Cena talks about what happens if Rob Van Dam beats him on Sunday. This title, which was held by Bruno Sammartino, Hulk Hogan and Steve Austin, will be the ECW World Title and he will look like a goat. If Cena wins though, he’s in the middle of the biggest riot in sports entertainment history. He’ll start fighting tonight against the homicidal, genocidal dance recital Sabu, who has messed with the wrong fire breathing son of a b****. Cena was fired up here and it showed.

Here’s Paul Heyman to hype up the debut of ECW on Sci-Fi next week and run down the One Night Stand card. That’s on Sunday though, and for those of you who aren’t exactly familiar, here’s what you can get from an ECW pay per view. We see a highlight package on the outstanding One Night Stand 2005 and now I’m a little more interested in Sunday.

Kurt Angle fires up the ECW locker room.

Big Show fires up the WWE locker room.

Battle Royal

Big Show, Finlay, Shelton Benjamin, Matt Hardy, Edge, Randy Orton, Carlito, Tatanka, Mark Henry, Bobby Lashley, Balls Mahoney, Kurt Angle, Little Guido, Terry Funk, Justin Credible, Sandman, Tony Mamaluke, Tommy Dreamer, Al Snow, Stevie Richards

This is a weird team battle royal as whichever team has someone left standing at the end wins. Dreamer chases Edge on the floor to start and the brawl is on in a hurry. Henry is dumped in seconds and Hardy follows him out. Show punches Guido out and Dreamer gets rid of Tatanka. Sandman dropkick (!) Carlito out and Edge, on the floor but not eliminated, helps pull Dreamer out.

We take a break and come back with Edge pulling Funk out and Finlay tossing Credible. Shelton kicks Snow out and Lashley LAUNCHES Mahoney out. Sandman and Shelton are tossed as well and we’re down to Finlay, Orton, Show, Edge (on the floor) and Angle. That means it’s time to snap off the suplexes and Angle Slam but Finlay is back up to put Angle on top. That’s broken up and Angle catapults Finlay outside. Edge comes in and gets suplexed out but Orton dumps Angle to win. Or not actually, as Show pulls off the shirt to show off the ECW colors and dump Orton for the win.

Rating: D+. You can only get so much out of something like this and it was only so interesting. At the end of the day this was all about the big surprise at the end and it worked out well enough. Big Show is someone who adds a little star power to ECW but at the end of the day, how far can you really get with him after everything else he has done? They did have some star power in here though and that’s the kind of thing that can help give ECW a bit of a boost.

Post match Angle hugs Show in the, uh, special moment.

ECW celebrates in the back.

Edge vs. Tommy Dreamer

Hardcore and Terry Funk, Mick Foley and Lita are here as well. Dreamer uses a barbed wire baseball bat to knock Edge’s chair out of his hands and they fight outside. A few right hands have Edge in more trouble but he gets in a weapon shot to take over. Back in and Edge gets sent head first into the trashcan but a drop toehold sends Dreamer face first into the back of an open chair.

A running trashcan lid shot gets two on Dreamer and the implant DDT onto the can makes it even worse. Dreamer fights up and ties him in the Tree of Woe for the running dropkick to drive a chair into his face. Commentary bickers about what is real wrestling, with Lawler criticizing tables and Styles ranting about the leprechaun on Smackdown.

Everything breaks down and Foley uses barbed wire to choke Funk. Edge tries a superbomb through the table but Dreamer backdrops him…not through the table, as Edge just lands on his head instead (egads). The Death Valley Driver through the table gets two as Lita makes the save, setting up the spear to pin Dreamer.

Rating: C. It was brutal and violent as it needed to be and that’s the kind of preview that they needed for Sunday. I’m not sure what to expect at the pay per view but dang it could be a heck of a fight if they let these people be themselves. They have done a rather good job of building things up, with Funk looking like only he can. Edge and Dreamer should be perfect additions too, and I’m wanting to see the match.

Post match the brawling continues until they go their separate ways.

See No Evil video.

Post break, Foley, with his eye cut open, it sitting in a chair in the ring and asking who the fans are to think that he sold out. He loved ECW but left to make his fame and fortune in WWE. The difference between himself and Tommy Dreamer is that he isn’t a w****. Years ago, Foley pulled a sock out of his pants and made Vince McMahon laugh so he was famous. Dreamer never did that though because he still has the ECW letters. Foley watched the Wrestlemania match with Edge back but maybe it wasn’t as good as he thought it was. Now they’re going to the Hammerstein Ballroom where 2,500 people are going to want their blood.

Foley has known Funk for years and he is the greatest wrestler that Foley has ever seen. He lit Funk on fire in Philadelphia but Funk put his arm around him. Now Foley doesn’t want that anymore, because it’s time to fight again. You have seen Foley destroyed and thrown off a Cell but that is nothing compared to what he is going to see on Sunday because ECW is calling his name. Foley is going to show you something different at One Night Stand and it will never be the same. This was excellent, as Foley can talk like few others and was on his game here.

Tazz and Lawler get into it again and this time it actually gets physical until security breaks it up (Joey: “LET THEM GO!”).

Post break, everything has settled back down.

We look back at Cena getting beaten down on Raw.

Sabu vs. John Cena

Non-title and Extreme Rules. Cena slugs away to start and knocks Sabu into the corner, setting up the snap suplex for two. A hard whip into the corner has Sabu in trouble but he sends Cena outside for the big dive. Back in and the triple jump moonsault gets two on Cena. Air Sabu hits in the corner for two more and they fight to the floor with Cena crashing out again. That’s good for two back inside but another Air Sabu is countered into the FU. The STF goes on but Big Show runs in….for the DQ/no contest because WWE doesn’t have the EXTREME RULES down yet.

Rating: C-. The ending hurt this a lot and that’s not exactly encouraging before ECW is back. What we got was a good sampling of what Sabu can do, but you never know what you might be seeing when things are back full time. Cena wasn’t going to lose to Sabu, but at least he got some revenge after Raw.

The big brawl is on to end the show with Joey and Tazz talking a lot of trash.

Overall Rating: C. What matters here is the fact that they are treating ECW as a big deal. That worked very well tonight and I want to see where things go with the pay per view as well as the new show. However, I’m not sure if I’m going to be able to believe that things will work out fine when they are back full time, as WWE tends to lose interest in a hurry. What we got worked well enough, but it was hardly some blow away show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2002
Date: November 17, 2002
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 17,930
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

For those of you who have read my old reviews of this show, you might remember that the main event has sent me into various rantings and ravings over the years. It might have ticked me off more than any match ever at one point, though it’s since been topped multiple times. I’m kind of curious to see how I react to it this time around so let’s get to it.

The opening video focuses on Big Show vs. Lesnar, which is built around the idea that Lesnar is banged up and can’t throw Big Show around like he can with everyone else. The Elimination Chamber actually takes second billing here.

Dudley Boyz/Jeff Hardy vs. Rico/3 Minute Warning

Elimination tables match and that would still be Bubba and Spike. The villains are quickly sent outside with Spike being thrown at the Samoans. He’s easily caught and 3 Minute Warning is nice enough to stand there while Bubba drops down for Poetry in Motion from Jeff. Back in and Jamal takes a hurricanrana out of the corner, followed by Jeff playing D-Von in What’s Up.

The first table is set up in the corner and Jeff is backdropped over the top for one heck of a crash. Rosey drives himself through a table (not an elimination) but stands up, allowing Jeff to hit a high crossbody….which just bounces off the big man. The Dudley Dog is countered and Spike is tossed through a table for the first elimination. Bubba and Jeff fight back but can’t get around the monsters.

Rosey takes Jeff outside and loads up a table but Bubba makes the save. A few forearms to the back allow Jeff to climb onto an exit tunnel for the Swanton to get rid of Rosey. Back in and Rico loads Bubba onto a table before setting up a moonsault. In a fairly infamous moment, there’s no Jeff to make the save so Rico stands there for about ten seconds and even Bubba can be seen looking around for Jeff. Rico very clearly shouts “COME ON JEFF” before Hardy crotches him for the save.

Jamal moves the table so Rico only has to take a regular belly to back superplex. That’s so much better you see. Jeff takes Jamal to the floor and tries to run the barricade (as in he climbs onto it and then runs instead of a running jump and then running across) but falls anyway, sending himself head first through a table. That would be twice in a week that he’s blown that spot and for some reason I don’t picture him being punished anytime soon. Thankfully Jamal hits one heck of a top rope splash to put Jeff through a table to get us down to 2-1.

Ever the genius, Jamal tries a hurricanrana with a table right behind him. After the most obvious powerbomb this side of an Undertaker match, we’re down to Bubba vs. Rico. 3 Minute Warning comes back in to beat on Bubba but D-Von comes out to FINALLY reunite with his brother to one heck of a reaction. A quick 3D puts Rico through a table for the win.

Rating: C+. They really didn’t have another option here as the Dudleys belong together. It would take about twelve years before Bubba was able to strike out on his own and even that only kind of worked. The tag division is dying for some better talent and while not the freshest thing in the world, the Dudleys are certainly better than most other options.

The rest of the match was entertaining but my goodness Jeff was embarrassing out there. He can barely do any of his signature stuff without messing something up anymore and yet he’s still out there every single week doing the same spots over and over. Get him some help already before this becomes an even bigger problem than it already is.

Stacy Keibler introduces Saliva to perform Always live at the World. At least we get some highlights for the show as a bonus.

Cruiserweight Title: Billy Kidman vs. Jamie Noble

Kidman is challenging after defeating Noble twice in the last two weeks. Noble tries a rollup for the fast pin before stomping Kidman down to really take over. A neckbreaker sets up a bow and arrow as Nidia is her usual VERY excited self. Jamie dives into a dropkick as the announcers talk about the tables match. A Hoshi Geroshi (or however you spell the fireman’s carry into a backbreaker) gets two on the champ, followed by a good looking placha to the floor.

Back in and Noble reverses a backslide into the tiger bomb for two but makes the mistake of putting Kidman on the top. A good looking super DDT plants Noble but since DDTs mean nothing, Jamie is right back up for a hanging DDT off the top for his own near fall. An enziguri drops Noble again and, after a failed Nidia distraction, the shooting star gives us a new champion.

Rating: C+. Some selling issues aside, this was a good, back and forth match with both guys looking strong. The problem is the division has fallen into the same pattern it always has: the champion and one challenger comprise the entire thing and that doesn’t exactly have staying power. The match was good though and Kidman winning the title is fine.

Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit get into it again but Angle insists that they’re amigos. Another long form hug ensues.

Victoria is getting ready but apparently her mirror thinks Trish Stratus is prettier.

We recap Victoria vs. Trish. Victoria claims that Trish slept her way into a job after WWE wanted to sign both of them. Now Victoria is here to get revenge on her former friend. The music sounds like the shower scene from Psycho for a nice touch.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Victoria

Trish is defending and this is a hardcore match. Victoria wastes no time and puller her down by the coat before grabbing a broom. JR asks if she’s going to fly it and suggests Victoria is un-Divaesque. That’s probably an unintentional compliment. A trashcan lid gets knocked into the champ’s face and Victoria sends her into the steps. Victoria sets up a trashcan in the corner (with the hole facing the ring), only to have Trish catapult her hands first into said can (that looked horrible and no camera edit was going to save it).

A kick to the head gives Trish two and one heck of a trashcan lid shot knocks Victoria (and her bloody nose) to the floor. The Chick Kick gets two and a HORRIBLE bulldog out of the corner (Victoria’s head hit Trish’s ribs) is good for the same. Victoria blinds her with a fire extinguisher though and a snap suplex of all things gives us a new champion.

Rating: B-. Botches aside, this is a situation where the energy carries the match. They were beating the heck out of each other and you could feel the intensity. The botches and the ending really hold it down but it’s still one of the best women’s matches you’ll see around this time. I know there are still some major issues with the women of this era but this was miles ahead of most things you would see from them at this time.

Eric Bischoff is bragging about the Chamber when Big Show comes up. He’s going to prove Eric wrong for trading him.

Paul Heyman is nervous but says Brock needs to put it all behind him. Tonight they’re in MSG and Heyman is going to do whatever it takes to make sure his client leaves as champion.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Lesnar is defending and the fans are entirely behind him. Brock gets right in his face but gets tossed into the corner. That earns show a double leg takedown and there’s a belly to back suplex on Show. A German suplex follows and Heyman looks nervous. The ref gets bumped but Lesnar belly to bellies Show anyway. Heyman slides in a chair and Brock cracks Show in the head with it, setting up the F5. Another referee comes down but Heyman pulls him out at two. Reality sets in as the chase is on but Show chairs Lesnar in the bad ribs. A chokeslam onto the chair gives Lesnar his first pinfall loss.

Rating: C-. They did everything they could here and thankfully it was really short. Aside from the obvious, I still have a major problem with the story: why did Heyman go through with the screwjob? Lesnar proved him wrong by suplexing and F5ing Big Show but Heyman turned on him anyway. Wouldn’t it make more sense to stick with the more dominant force when you still have Lesnar to protect you? I’d assume it’s because of Heyman and Lesnar’s issues but Heyman has been able to talk Lesnar down before. It’s far from the worst stretch ever but I’m still not sure it makes the most sense.

Heyman and Show run to the parking lot and drive away.

We recap the Smackdown Tag Team Title match. All three teams have traded the titles for over a month now with one classic match after another. The only possible option was a triple threat match and Stephanie McMahon has made it an elimination match for even more fun. This is the real Smackdown main event and they’ve certainly earned that honor with everything they’ve done so far.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Chris Benoit/Kurt Angle vs. Los Guerreros vs. Edge/Rey Mysterio

Edge and Mysterio are defending and Angle/Benoit still can’t get along. Benoit and Mysterio start things off with Chris going head first into the buckle. Edge, in some shiny tights, comes in to drop Angle with a forearm. It’s back to Rey for a springboard splash on Chavo as they’re tagging very quickly here. Eddie comes in to a very noticeable pop and keeps Rey in trouble with some forearms to the back.

The fast tags continue as Angle comes in and goes shoulder first into the post. He’s still able to knock Rey off the top though and the champs stay in trouble. Benoit stays on Mysterio with some rapid fire suplexes as Los Guerreros are (wisely) content with staying on the floor. The Angle Slam doesn’t work so Kurt clotheslines Rey’s head off for two instead. We hit a long front facelock until Rey fights up for a spinwheel kick to the jaw. That’s enough for the hot tag to Edge as everything breaks down.

Rey hurricanranas Eddie to the floor, leaving Edge to get caught in an ankle lock/Crossface combination. Somehow he doesn’t tap out immediately so it’s Rey making the save, followed by a running corkscrew dive onto Chavo and Angle. Benoit grabs the German suplex on Edge, only to have Eddie come in off the top with a sunset flip to send both guys flying. Everyone gets up so Benoit sends Eddie outside, followed by the rolling German suplexes on Edge. Those things always look great.

Eddie gives Edge the frog splash but Benoit breaks it up with a Swan Dive for no apparent reason. Angle comes back in with the ankle lock on Eddie while Benoit Crossfaces Edge, only to have Chavo save Edge with the title. Kurt picks up the title so Benoit thinks it was him, leaving Edge to spear Benoit for the first elimination. That leaves us with two but Benoit and Angle wreck everyone before heading to the back. What poor sportsmanship.

We settle down to Eddie grabbing a sleeper on Edge, followed by a front facelock in case that’s too intense for you. Edge flapjacks both Guerreros and brings Rey back in as this isn’t exactly the break neck pace you would expect. Everything breaks down again and the pop up hurricanrana gets two on Eddie. That would look to set up the West Coast Pop but Chavo gets in a belt shot, knocking Rey into the Lasso From El Paso for the submission and the titles.

Rating: B. This wasn’t as good as I remember but I think that’s because I just recently watched all the TV matches, which were almost all better. This had too much to live up to and there’s only so much you can do when you’re asked to go out and have a masterpiece. The belt shots didn’t do much to help either as they’re hardly anything interesting and you expect more from these guys.

It’s still a good match and the best thing on the show by far though and it deserves a bit more than just criticism. Some of the sequences were excellent and showed some creativity, along with Benoit and Angle suplexing everything in sight. If this was one of the matches that took place on TV, it would be considered a classic. Some more time would have helped as well.

Here’s Christopher Nowinski to say he’s smarter than the rest of the crowd. After some lame New York Yankees jokes, Matt Hardy (who keeps the temperature at a toasty 75 degrees and only drinks low fat chocolate milk) comes out to say this place is sucking the Mattitude out of him. The payoff is Scott Steiner, who shows up and destroys both guys because we haven’t seen Matt get beaten up recently.

Shawn Michaels is ready to talk about why he believes he can win but RNN BREAKING NEWS tells us that Randy came here to watch. Luckily a sexy flight attendant gave him an extra pillow so there was no further damage to his shoulder.

Long video on the Elimination Chamber which doesn’t really tell us anything. Granted that’s because there isn’t a story here. Basically Bischoff wanted to top Stephanie’s pay per view and invented the Chamber. They’ve made no secret of the fact that this is ALL about HHH vs. Shawn Michaels.

HHH says he’s gone through everyone so he’ll go through everyone tonight too.

Bischoff comes out to walk through the Chamber and explain the rules. This time really couldn’t have gone to the Tag Team Title match? Just put it on a graphic or something…..which they do while Bischoff is still talking.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Booker T. vs. Kane vs. Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Rob Van Dam

HHH is defending. Saliva, at the World, plays Jericho’s music for a cool bit. As the entrances go on forever, it occurs to me how much Shawn’s hair looks like AJ Styles’ soccer mom look. HHH and Van Dam start things off with Rob going straight to the kicks. A backdrop puts HHH onto the steel floor and he hits the cage wall three times in a row. The champ is busted open and Van Dam monkey flips him onto the cage again.

Rolling Thunder over the top makes things even worse as it’s all Van Dam so far. Rob climbs up on top of Jericho’s chamber and gets his legs pulled down into it. Somehow that’s still not enough for HHH to do anything as Rob flips down onto HHH. See? He’s giving Van Dam a rub right now!

Jericho is in third but gets kicked down almost immediately as Rob stays on a roll. In your first ever Chamber highlight reel moment, Jericho catapults Van Dam at the cage wall and Rob just hangs onto it instead of crashing. HHH gets back up and knees Van Dam in the head, meaning it’s time for the double teaming to begin. Rob kicks them both down again and it’s Booker T in fourth to even things up, despite Van Dam doing just fine on his own.

Jericho and HHH are sent to the floor so we can get a Spinarooni, followed by a slugout with Van Dam. The good guys clean house again and it’s HHH getting knocked down, allowing Rob to climb an individual chamber. That means a Five Star, with his knee going right into HHH’s throat which put him out of action for a few weeks. Van Dam seems to have hurt his knee as well, allowing Booker to eliminate him with a missile dropkick. HHH can barely move so here’s Kane to get us back to four.

Jericho is launched through the bulletproof (yes bulletproof) glass to draw some more blood. Chris is fine enough to hit Booker low, followed by a chokeslam and the Lionsault to get rid of Booker. Now that the two guys who have been more over than the entire roster for the last three months are gone, let’s get on with the REAL entertainment.

Jericho and Kane slowly fight until HHH is slammed off the top. Shawn, looking like he’s wrestled one match in four and a half years and in hideous brown tights for some reason, comes in and gets to clean house for a bit. Kane chokeslams everyone but eats a superkick, Pedigree and Lionsault to get us down to three. Jericho and HHH team up on Shawn with HHH rubbing his head against the steel to bust Shawn open. A ram into the wall gives Shawn an opening and he forearms HHH, only to get bulldogged down.

The Lionsault gets two and Jericho is so frustrated that he gets caught in the Walls. HHH makes the save with a DDT but gets in a fight with Jericho over who can pin Shawn. Jericho grabs the Walls on HHH but gets superkicked for the elimination. As anyone paying attention expected, we’re down to HHH vs. Shawn with a spinebuster going straight for the bad back.

Shawn gets thrown through the glass as we really crank up the emotions. The slow beating continues with Shawn being thrown outside again, only to catapult HHH into the wall. Shawn’s top rope elbow gets no cover and HHH grabs the Pedigree for a delayed two. Another Pedigree attempt is countered and Sweet Chin Music gives Shawn the pin and the title.

Rating: B. I’m still not sure what to think of this match. Above all else, it’s long, far longer than it needed to be. The Chamber itself did help and was interesting to see but they need to tweak things a bit (lower the time to four minutes or so). It’s still good but there’s the other problem that it’s kind of hard to overcome: the whole thing felt like a big waste of time until we got to the ending.

That ending of course is Shawn vs. HHH and they might as well have just put up a big clock counting down until we got there. No one else mattered in this match and WWE did nothing to hide it. That makes for an ending similar to Wrestlemania XXXII with Roman Reigns vs. HHH: there’s no drama and it makes for a boring match because you’re just waiting to get to the part that matters.

While I still have issues about guys like Booker, Kane, Van Dam and Jericho being treated as second class citizens so HHH and Shawn can do it one more time (as in the second one more time), it’s not as bad as it once was. After watching the TV shows building up to this, it’s not like this was exactly shocking and the four of them were hardly made to look like real threats to take the title. That doesn’t make it any better but it does make things a bit easier to take.

Overall Rating: C+. This show is pretty much all over the place with good action (there really isn’t a bad match on the card) but sweet goodness some of the choices make your head spin. We really are watching a show in 2002 where Big Show and Shawn Michaels walked out with the World Titles. On top of that we had a less than mind blowing Tag Team Title match which was probably the highlight.

The big problem is that aside from the Chamber itself debuting, there really isn’t anything on here that feels big. Big Show winning was more groan inducing than anything else and Shawn winning felt like we were seeing the inevitable, though the celebration felt big. There’s nothing on here that’s going to really stick with you and that’s not good as the show is worth seeing for the action alone. Overall it’s good but really not remarkable, which is kind of an odd way to compliment a show.

Ratings Comparison

Dudley Boyz/Jeff Hardy vs. Rico/3 Minute Warning

Original: B

2012 Redo: B-

2017 Redo: C+

Billy Kidman vs. Jamie Noble

Original: C+

2012 Redo: B-

2017 Redo: C+

Victoria vs. Trish Stratus

Original: C-

2012 Redo: B

2017 Redo: B-

Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: D-

2012 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: C-

Los Guerreros vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit vs. Edge/Rey Mysterio

Original: B

2012 Redo: B+

2017 Redo: B

Shawn Michaels vs. HHH vs. Booker T vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Kane vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

2012 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B-

2012 Redo: C+

2017 Redo: C+

I must have been in a REALLY bad mood when I watched the main event for the second time.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/02/20/survivor-series-2002-the-longest-rant-about-anything-ive-ever-done/

And the 2012 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/11/10/survivor-series-count-up-2002/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6