Backlash 2006
Date: April 30, 2006
Location: Rupp Arena, Lexington, Kentucky
Attendance: 14,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is a very special show for me as I was in the audience live. It was the first pay per view I ever got to attend live and the only one I would see in person for about fourteen years. We have a two match show here with John Cena defending the World Title against HHH and Edge in a triple threat, plus Shawn Michaels/God vs. Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon in a match that can’t possibly take place without a lot of cringing. Let’s get to it.

For a bonus, here’s the pre-show match from Sunday Night Heat.

Rob Conway vs. Goldust

Goldust does his crouch to start and the fans certainly seem to approve. A knee to the ribs sets up a running hip attack, which commentary finds hilarious. Conway’s clothesline gets two and we hit the chinlock. Back up and simultaneous crossbodies put both guys down for a bit and it’s time to slug it out. A neckbreaker gives Conway two but Goldust is back with some right hands. The chest rub right hands in the corner have Conway in more trouble and it’s the scoop powerslam to give Goldust the pin.

Rating: C-. The action wasn’t the point here and there is nothing wrong with that. They did what they were supposed to do by getting the crowd warmed up with some people they would have recognized (Conway was an OVW legend and the TV show aired in Lexington). Throw in Conway’s completely obnoxious music and it was easy to cheer for Goldust to beat him.

The opening video focuses on Vince McMahon’s war against Shawn Michaels, including the always awesome visual of Vince’s bloody smile from ringside at Wrestlemania XIX. The triple threat gets some attention as well, as they are the only two matches that matter.

At least they aren’t using the still wrong line of Rupp Arena being on the campus of the University of Kentucky.

Carlito vs. Chris Masters

Carlito slaps him in the face to start and gets choked with his own shirt as a result. A basement dropkick into a running faceplant gives Carlito two but Masters is back with a backdrop. Carlito slips out of a gorilla press and tries his own full nelson, which is broken up in a hurry. They head outside with Carlito hitting a dive and then hammering away back inside. That earns him a buckle bomb as the fans think that Masters suck, allowing JR to get in some always well deserved jabs at the University of Louisville.

We hit the neck crank for a bit, followed by an elbow to Carlito’s jaw and then into another neck crank. The comeback is cut off by a clothesline but Carlito slips out of the Masterlock attempt. A springboard elbow drops Masters and Carlito throws an apple at him for a distraction. Masters sends him into the corner again but the belly to back superplex is broken up. Carlito’s moonsault press gets two and he sends Masters into the corner. The Backstabber finishes Masters.

Rating: C+. Pretty much an above average Raw match here and that’s not the worst way to open a B pay per view. Masters even had a logical offense by softening up the neck while Carlito used the high flying to fight against the power game. It’s a good enough match and that’s all it needed to be in this spot.

Maria throws us to some fans giving their predictions earlier today. Lita comes in and says no one cares what Roscoe P. Coltrane thinks about the match (because Kentucky is full of country bumpk….carry on) and she is tired of keeping her mouth shut. Maria has heard otherwise about Lita’s mouth, so Lita offers to knock her out. Edge is winning tonight and they’ll have a private celebration because unlike these people, she actually gets some.

Ric Flair vs. Umaga

Armando Alejandro Estrada handles Umaga’s introduction. Flair jumps Umaga on the floor to start but gets taken into the corner for the right hands. A quick referee distraction lets Flair get in a low blow and then does it again for a bonus. Umaga doesn’t seem to mind and hits him in the throat for a knockdown.

Flair rolls to the floor and hits some rather hard chops before avoiding a charge into the post. Back in and Flair starts taking out the knee but it’s way too early for the Figure Four. The Tree of Woe headbutt sets up the running hip attack in the corner and Flair is in big trouble. Umaga’s middle rope headbutt sets up the Samoan Spike for the fast pin.

Rating: C-. This was almost a squash and that’s all it needed to be. The important thing here about Flair is that he knew he could pop right back up like it was nothing because he had been a made man for about fifteen years. That means he can put someone like Umaga over and have no real damage whatsoever, which is a rather valuable lesson to know.

Vince McMahon is flexing in the back when Shane McMahon comes in to say it isn’t a handicap match tonight. Shane needs to leave God to Vince because Vince can do anything God can. To demonstrate, Vince pours water on the floor and walks on it, then pulls out a fish and some bread. He doesn’t quite know the story but he looks to the ceiling and someone off screen throws in a bunch of fish. Vince sees this as a sign because it’s HOLY MACKEREL. Vince leaves and Shane drinks some water, which now looks a lot more purple. Shane: “Uh, dad?”

We recap Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James for Mickie’s Women’s Title. Mickie was obsessed with Trish and stalked her for months before winning the Women’s Title at Wrestlemania. Trish responded by dressing like Mickie and playing her own minds games. It’s time for the big rematch.

Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Trish Stratus

Mickie is challenging and they’re dressed as themselves. Trish shrugs off a wristlock to start and busts out the Matrish into a headscissors. A kick to the head sends Mickie outside for the Thesz press off the apron into some right hands. Back in and Mickie hammers away in the corner but Trish gets sent over the top and out to the floor… and that’s a dislocated shoulder. Back in and Mickie hammers away, followed by some choking for the VERY sudden DQ. I’m not going to rate it as they had barely gotten started when the shoulder went out but it was looking good early on. Trish would be out for nearly two months.

Shawn Michaels says God is with him as he always is. Tonight is a handicap match though and the McMahons are being brought down to their knees again.

Intercontinental Title/Money In The Bank Briefcase: Shelton Benjamin vs. Rob Van Dam

Shelton’s title and Rob’s briefcase are both on the line and it’s winner take all. Commentary starts talking about the missing Mama Benjamin plus the time where Vince McMahon performed surgery on JR. Ross: “What great programming that was.” Shelton bounces around and armdrags Rob over, leaving Rob with a “so that’s how it is” look on his face. Rob’s rollup sets up his own armdrags and the threat of a spinning kick to the face sends Shelton bailing to the corner.

The fans want Mama (I was disappointed too) as Rob knocks him outside but Shelton comes back in with a knee to the face. Rob hits a spinwheel kick into some clotheslines so Shelton goes outside again. That means a slingshot dive but Shelton catches him on the way back in. A big running sunset bomb to the floor (THUD) drops Rob hard and we hit the chinlock back inside. Shelton grabs a backbreaker into another chinlock, followed by the reverse chinlock to mix it up a bit.

Some slams stay on the back and there’s another chinlock. It’s too early for the exploder, but Shelton reverses Rolling Thunder into a Samoan drop for two. The Five Star is broken up so it’s off to another chinlock (I think we get the point). Rob fights up with some kicks to the face and now Rolling Thunder connects for two more. There’s a split legged moonsault for another near fall but the Five Star misses as well.

Shelton hits a hard DDT for his own two so he grabs the briefcase, which draws Rob outside. A kick to the head cuts Rob off but he’s right back in with a hurricanrana. Rob gets shoved into the referee so Shelton grabs the briefcase. Van Dam takes it away though and it’s a Van Daminator into the Five Star to give Rob the pin and the title.

Rating: B-. The chinlocks got a bit annoying here but the result worked well. I liked the winner takes all deal as I couldn’t imagine Van Dam losing the briefcase so adding the potential that he could win the title helped boost things up a bit. Van Dam is getting some momentum built up at the moment and if they have him cash in a little faster than Edge, it could make for a heck of a title showdown.

We recap Kane vs. Big Show. They had been dominant Tag Team Champions but then lost them to the Spirit Squad. Soon thereafter, Kane became obsessed with anyone mentioning May 19 and eventually snapped when Big Show said it. Kane went for Show’s eye and drew a lot of blood, setting up this match so Show can try to beat some sense into him.

Big Show talks about how May 19 is the release date of Kane’s movie. So Kane has problems. So what? Big Show was in Waterboy but you didn’t see him running around beating people up. Show doesn’t know if Kane’s goldfish died or what, but tonight it’s eye for an eye.

Kane vs. Big Show

Kane jumps him at the bell so Show shoves him down to take over. They head outside for a second with Kane knocking him into the post on the way back in. A running corner clothesline rocks Show again and a regular version gets two. The armbar goes on for a bit and Kane hits him in the arm to break up a chokeslam attempt. Kane goes up for the top rope clothesline but gets caught in a fall away slam. The chokeslam is loaded up but Kane reverses into a pretty messy DDT (the camera work didn’t help things) for two.

Show knocks him down again and drops the leg for two as JR mentions that this hasn’t been the prettiest match. Show powerslams him down for two more but Kane big boots him to the floor. Then we get the red lights and Kane’s voice comes over the loudspeaker. He keeps saying May 19 and taunts Kane about not being able to control it. Kane keeps grabbing his head as the voice talks about how he knows what happened. Show grabs a chair and hits him in the head so he can walk away for the no contest.

Rating: D. It was a bad match until the ending and then it got even worse. This was a lot of the same plodding match you’ve seen these two have a dozen times before and it wasn’t any better this time around. Kane going insane to promote his movie wasn’t exactly groundbreaking stuff. It was entertaining breaking stuff though and that’s a pretty bad way to end a pay per view match, especially after such a blatant advertising campaign to promote the match.

Post match the lights are normal and the voice stops as Kane sits up and smiles.

Candice Michelle is coughing in Vince’s office because she has a chest cold. She wants Vince to give her a healing touch so he winds up on top of her and she screams a lot until Shane comes to get him. And we move on.

We recap Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon vs. Shawn Michaels/God in a video we’ve seen in one version or another multiple times lately. Shawn told Vince to get over Montreal and grow up already so Vince declared war on him. Then Shawn beat him at Wrestlemania, so Vince said Shawn cheated by having God help him. Hence the tag match.

Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon vs. Shawn Michaels/God

This is going to hurt. Vince introduces the Hipster From Heaven and we get some harp music to go with a spotlight. Hold on though as Vince says that isn’t a WWE entrance so he wants God to get jiggy with it. The dance music is on but Vince tells the referee to check God for weapons. Vince doesn’t care if he has any weapons because it’s going to be a no holds barred match. Thankfully Shawn comes out before this gets even worse (to be fair, I had expected a guy with a big white beard so this could have been worse….maybe).

Before the match, Vince tells Shawn where he and God are going tonight so Shawn hits him in the face to start fast. Shawn sends Shane to the floor for the slingshot dive and beats him up the ramp to make it one on one. Shane slugs away on the ramp but gets backdropped onto the stage. Vince joins them but Shane gets sent into the big set. A crossbody drives Vince off the stage and through a table for the big crash. Shawn goes up the steps but gets blasted in the face by a Shane chair shot.

That’s enough to draw some blood, with JR proving he doesn’t understand the word literally by saying it’s “literally ear to ear”. They head back to ringside with Shawn going into the post and then the barricade, followed by a spinning DDT back inside. Now Vince is willing to make a tag, even though Vince needing a tag in a No Holds Barred match doesn’t make much sense for him. Shane throws Vince a trashcan for a shot to the head and it’s time for Vince to grab a mic.

Vince wants to know why God is walking out on the match, even declaring that God has left the building. Vince: “God has left the building!” In one of those visuals that is hard to fathom, Vince tries his own superkick but Shawn knocks it away and hits the running forearm. There’s the nip up and Shane accidentally caves Vince’s head in with a chair. Shawn knocks Shane down and hits the top rope elbow and JR is knocking the nicknames and monikers out as fast as he can.

There’s the superkick to Shane but Shawn would rather grab a pair of tables. Both McMahons are put on the tables and the fans want ladders. Shawn gives them what they want with the huge ladder but here’s the Spirit Squad so he has to dive on them instead. The Squad gets back up and jumps Shawn though, meaning the beatdown is on in a hurry. They move the tables and take the ladder down, meaning it’s a big Uppsa Daisy through the table to give the rather evil looking Vince the pin. JR: “That’s bull****!” Lawler: “It’s the father, the son and the holy Spirit Squad.” Eh point for a good line.

Rating: B-. This was about as logical as you could get, especially if they insist on keeping the feud going. At the end of the day, Shawn was probably on equal footing here at best after he beat the fire out of Vince at Wrestlemania, so stacking the deck was the only way to give it some drama. Shawn is going to need some help though and those crotch chops should give you a hint of where it’s going. This also flew by, which shows you how well they could play the smoke and mirrors given the almost twenty minutes that they had. The God stuff is going to offend some people (fair) but Vince being over the top is always worth a look.

Post match the Squad carries Vince and Shane out on their shoulders.

John Cena talks about how controversial he is and how there are different groups who want to see the three of them all come out as WWE Champion. There will be one voice at the end of the match though and that will be….Lilian Garcia, who will announce that Cena is still WWE Champion.

Here’s Matt Striker for Striker’s Classroom. Striker says he was not originally scheduled to be here (I wonder if he is filling in time after Trish got hut) but now we are seeing a miracle: an educated man in Kentucky! He lists off some things Kentucky is famous for, which does not include being well educated. Striker is here to be your teacher though and is here with one of the most educated people in the history of Kentucky.

Cue Eugene, which Striker says is proof that you shouldn’t marry your cousin. Striker hands Eugene some chalk and asks him to write his name on the chalk board. The camera goes onto Striker and we come back with a message on the board declaring Striker’s love for a bodily excrement. Striker complains about how the sentence is written as Eugene picks his nose. After ordering Eugene not to eat it, Striker gets Eugene’s nasal contents shoved into his mouth. There’s a Stunner to Striker to wrap things up.

We recap the Raw World Title match. Edge beat John Cena for the title at New Year’s Revolution but then lost it back at the Royal Rumble. Cena went on to defeat HHH at Wrestlemania, where Edge also stole the show against Mick Foley. Both Edge and Foley want title shots so let’s have a triple threat.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Edge vs. HHH

Cena is defending and Lita is here with Edge. With Edge heading outside to start, Cena and HHH slug it out with Cena getting the better of things. The release fisherman’s suplex gets two on HHH with Edge making the save and bailing straight back to the floor. HHH hits the jumping knee to the face for two and the slugout (with BOO/YAY crowd reactions) is back on. Edge gets up on the apron so the two of them bring him back in to keep the beating up. They all head outside when HHH and Cena compete to see who can ram Edge’s head into the announcers’ table harder.

HHH jumps Cena and takes Edge back inside, only to miss a charge in the corner. Cena pulls HHH off the apron though and goes up top for a splash onto Edge for two (that’s a new one). The Shuffle is loaded up but Lita low bridges Cena to the floor. HHH is back in with a facebuster and clothesline to Edge and the spinebuster gets two. Edge is right back with the Edge O Matic for his own near fall but HHH grabs the sleeper. Cena comes back to lift both of them up for the FU at the same time.

Edge slips out and spears Cena down, making him Samoan drop HHH in the process. HHH and Edge head outside with HHH being busted open off a posting. The Edgecution onto the announcers’ table knocks HHH silly, leaving Edge to hit a missile dropkick for two on Cena. Edge gets pulled into the STFU though and it’s HHH grabbing the hand to block the tap. A mic shot to the head knocks Cena silly to break thing sup and HHH CRACKS Edge with a chair to the head.

Back in and Cena grabs the STFU on HHH (note the booing) for two arm drops. HHH grabs the rope but gets pulled right back into the STFU. Edge goes up top so Cena lets go to break it up, with the ref getting bumped in the process. HHH breaks up the super FU with a powerbomb and everyone is down. That means it’s time for Lita to bring in a chair but HHH breaks it up with a spinebuster. The sledgehammer is whipped out but Edge cuts HHH down wit the spear. HHH hits Cena low to break up the FU, only to have Cena counter the Pedigree into a jackknife rollup to pin HHH and retain.

Rating: A. Oh yeah this was great and one of the more action packed main events you’ll see from around this time. They were all fired up and hitting on every level, with Cena getting the surprise win to wrap it up. It’s also WAY better on the broadcast than it was live, as you couldn’t get a good feeling for the level of blood and carnage. Great stuff here and worth seeing for sure.

Post match HHH sledgehammers both of them down and holds up the sledgehammer. One more crotch chop ends the show.

Overall Rating: B+. There might be some nostalgia on this one but dang it was a fun show to watch back. Of course there were bad moments but it was a two match show and the two matches delivered. I’m not sure what else you could ask for out of a B pay per view and they threw in a pretty good opener and a better Intercontinental Title match. This worked really well, but there was one problem.

Kentucky is one of those states with a rather ridiculous athletic commission (partially because of the deathmatch nonsense out of IWA-MS and it’s horrible boss who caused a lot of trouble) which REALLY didn’t like the blood, meaning WWE got about $50,000 in fines for the show (including things like Cena and Edge (yes Cena and Edge) not stopping the match when HHH bladed). Throw in that, depending on which reports you believe, HHH actually bled onto the commission’s representative and it should be no surprise that WWE was banned from holding televised events (if not events in general) in Kentucky for three years.

The commission has since been toned WAY down and now WWE is here at least once or twice a year for TV, but it was a rather long wait because of this show. Other than that though, it was a pretty good night all around and quite a nice memory for me that I’m never going to forget.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 17, 2006
Location: Savvis Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 16,108
Commentators: Jonathan Coachman, Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles

We are less than two weeks away from Backlash and that means it’s probably time for another handicap match this week. The three way feud between Edge, John Cena and HHH continues, which makes it a lot easier to sit through than Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon vs. Shawn Michaels/God. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Vince McMahon to get things going. Vince: “The question is, will Mr. McMahon go to h***?” Vince was asked that last week by Shane and tonight he needs to set the record straight. The answer is no, because he was there this morning when his driver got lost and he wound up in east St. Louis. He respects all religions and tonight he is going to announce his own. That would be McMahonism, which is based on the principle that he is lord and master of all sports entertainment. Everyone involved with wrestling will worship him, whether you are in the ring or if you buy a ticket.

That makes McMahon wonder what would happen if McMahonism had been around at various points in history. We see a version of Michelangelo’s The Creation Of Adam with McMahon in the middle, with McMahon of course talking about his endowment. Then we have Moses coming down Mt. Cyanide carrying the Ten Commandments while McMahon has his Muscle and Fitness cover. There are some commandments of McMahonism as well. These include screw unto others, do not covet they neighbor’s wife unless she is really hot.

Back to the photos, with McMahon at the Last Supper. Or what if McMahonism went to Asia? That means a photo of him with a statue of Buddha. And another one at Shea Stadium with the Pope. The fans accurately describe this as boring so Vince talks about how we are in America where there are various freedoms. Tonight, Vince allows everyone to join his church.

Shawn Michaels certainly will not convert, but at Backlash, Shawn will worship at Vince’s feet. If he is lying, strike him down right here in this ring. Vince promises to beat Shawn tonight but here’s Shawn to superkick him and throw in a crotch chop for good measure. The joke went on WAY too long here, even though it wasn’t as long as some of the other opening segments. It wasn’t funny in the first place and then they just kept going with it, making things even worse.

Post break Vince yells at HHH for calling him an old man last week. Tonight, HHH vs. John Cena/Edge.

Rob Conway vs. Kane

Conway says he’s sick of being treated so badly and is then chokeslammed for the pin in less than a minute.

Post match Kane goes outside and grabs Lilian Garcia by the throat for mentioning May 19. Big Show, in workout pants for a weird look, comes out for the save. That means a chokeslam to Kane, who sits up and smiles.

We recap Chavo Guerrero failing to win the Intercontinental Title two weeks ago and quitting as a result.

Chavo has a sitdown interview with Jim Ross. Maybe he made a hasty decision, but the more he thinks about it, the less sure he is. He made a promise to his friends, family and to Eddie Guerrero. The loss summed everything up and JR asks if quitting is honoring Eddie’s memory. Chavo thinks Eddie would have been disgusted by his loss so maybe he should go get a real estate license. JR doesn’t buy this but Chavo says his career is at an end. They shake hands but JR doesn’t seem convinced.

Coach takes over as ring announcer as Lilian is traumatized.

Shelton Benjamin vs. ???

Non-title and if Benjamin wins, the Money in the Bank contract is on the line at Backlash but if Haas wins, the title is on the line. The mystery opponent is….the returning Charlie Haas, meaning Benjamin looks like he has seen a ghost. Charlie German suplexes the look off of his face and snaps off some armdrags to keep Shelton in trouble. A clothesline puts Shelton on the floor and Haas chops away against the apron. Charlie: “DID YOU FORGET ABOUT ME???” Well yeah kind of.

Back in and Shelton gets in a running clothesline to cut Haas down, followed by a hard whip into the steps. The chinlock goes on back inside but Haas fights up, only to miss a dropkick. A belly to back drops Haas again and Shelton does the Rob Van Dam finger point to set up his own Rolling Thunder. Shelton has to bail out of his own Five Star though and Haas grabs a rollup for the surprise pin.

Rating: C-. Haas was looking intense here and the match wasn’t bad at all, but it is rarely a good idea to have a champion lose clean, especially when he is heading into a big match against someone else. Throw in that Shelton doesn’t have the best record over the last few months and I wasn’t wild on the pin here. They certainly did have a surprise though and Haas looked good enough.

During the break, Maria held the Kiss Cam. That is all.

Armando Alejandro Estrada comes in to see Vince McMahon and, because he is a follower of McMahonism, he offers Umaga to face Shawn Michaels tonight. Vince says it’s next so Estrada leaves. Shelton Benjamin comes in to say he saw the light that led him straight to the office. Benjamin drops to a knee and says only McMahon can save him. Vince: “I do kind of like people on their knees before me.” Shelton looks a little unsure. And moving on, thank goodness.

Umaga vs. Shawn Michaels

We take a look back at the opening segment and we’re ready to go. Shawn sticks and moves to start until Umaga blasts him with a clothesline. A kick to the chest puts Shawn on the floor and here’s Vince to watch in person. More shots to the chest have Shawn sailing over the announcers’ table and a running knee drop crushes him again back inside. The falling headbutt makes it worse but Umaga charges into a boot in the corner.

Umaga knocks him straight back down but misses the running hip attack in the corner. The forearm puts Umaga down and there’s the nip up into the top rope elbow. Estrada breaks up Sweet Chin Music and Umaga sends Shawn into the Tree of Woe for the running headbutt. Another running headbutt connects and Umaga chokes away for the DQ.

Rating: C. They didn’t do anything wrong here as it advanced the story, kept Shawn from taking a loss and gave Umaga a dominant performance. It wouldn’t make a ton of sense for someone presented as a savage to care about a disqualification so the ending is as logical as they could have had. Good enough here, especially for such a short match.

Post match Umaga beats Shawn down some more but Vince calls him off from using the Samoan Spike. Vince wants to do this himself and ties Shawn in the ropes. He goes to grab a chair….and an explosion comes out of the ring post. Then another explosion comes out of another post, sending a worried Vince running. Another explosion goes off on the stage and now we have a wall of fire keeping Vince from the ring. We officially have divine intervention.

Vince sped away in the limo during the break.

This Week In Wrestling History, Rock held a funeral for Steve Austin and revealed that he still had the Smoking Skull Title. As a result, Austin crushed Rock’s Lincoln Continental with a monster truck.

Here’s Matt Striker for Striker’s Classroom. He says what we just saw from Austin and Rock is everything wrong with this nation today. Students at his school in New York couldn’t even tell him about the Bill Of Rights so imagine how bad it is here in St. Louis. Everyone is so obsessed with being cool and being like Nelly or whomever that is rather than learning about Nixon. Everyone here gets an F, but here is Carlito to interrupt. The fans are rather pleased to see Carlito, but he isn’t happy that Striker STOLE HIS APPLE.

Teachers didn’t get him back in the day and kept sending him to detention, so he spat the teacher’s apple in his face. Carlito thinks Striker looks like his old teacher so let’s do it again. Striker has an analogy for him (Carlito: “Anal what?”) and it involves giving Carlito a beating. The fight is on but here’s Chris Masters with the Masterlock to Carlito. I never cared for Carlito as a heel so maybe the face turn can help him a bit.

Rob Van Dam vs. Spirit Squad

The Money in the Bank briefcase has been spray painted for a change. Speaking of the Money in the Bank briefcase, it is on the line along with the Intercontinental Title at Backlash should Van Dam lose here. Van Dam tries to send the Squad outside as fast as he can but they finally get him down. The High Spirits (appropriate) set up the guillotine legdrop for the pin in just over a minute.

Trish Stratus, as Mickie James, has a surprise for the real Mickie James.

There is a big gift box in the ring for James (Where do you buy those things?) and here’s Trish (as Mickie, complete with entrance and outfit) to remind us of the time where Mickie gave Trish a present just before Wrestlemania. Since Trish is going to be challenging Mickie at Backlash, she has a gift for her this time around. Cue Mickie, as Trish, to sound rather nervous about what could be in the box.

Trish insists though and it’s….Trish’s boyfriend Jack, tied to a chair. Trish ungags him and he says that he thinks “both of you b****** are crazy.” With the gag put back in, Trish sits down on his lap (the fans seem to approve) and says if Mickie is really Trish, she’ll be worried right now, but if she’s really Mickie, this means nothing.

Trish: “Ya dig?” Mickie: “GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF MY BOYFRIEND!” Trish leaves so Mickie (seemingly with some issues of her top not holding up) helps Jack…who she accuses of cheating on her and kicks him in the head. That’s not how it played out when Mary Ann thought she was Ginger on Gilligan’s Island so I’m completely lost.

HHH comes up to Edge and Lita in the back with Edge promising to pin HHH tonight. HHH says it’s possible, unless John Cena does something about it. What has Edge done about Cena taking his title? Think about it.

Here’s the See No Evil trailer, plus some people in the crew talking about the movie. This isn’t on the Network of course.

We look back at Kane snapping on Lilian Garcia.

Backlash rundown, including Big Show vs. Kane.

John Cena/Edge vs. HHH

Lita is here as well. HHH jumps Cena to start and Edge is more than happy to start on the apron. Cena is back up with the whips into the corner and the release fisherman’s suplex for two. A back elbow cuts Cena off though and the fans are VERY pleased. HHH throws in a crotch chop before dropping the knee for two but Cena is back up with the clotheslines.

The Shuffle is countered with a spinebuster though and now Edge is willing to tag himself in. Edge gets in a shot to Cena but then walks into a spinebuster of his own. There’s the facebuster but Edge goes old school with a spinwheel kick. Cena is back in to suplex Edge and the referee gets bumped. HHH whips out the sledgehammer and lays out Cena but walks into the spear to give Edge the pin.

Rating: D+. Just like last week, the wrestling wasn’t the point here and that’s ok. I can go with everyone going for the mind games and getting the pins, as they at least have some bearing on what we will be seeing at Backlash. The falls don’t mean anything about elevating everyone and in this case, that’s an acceptable situation.

Overall Rating: C. The McMahonism stuff is going to be hit or miss for everyone and that’s understandable given the subject matter and how over the top it is. It is rather dumb, but Vince can make something like this work and is certainly trying to do so. Other than that though, Backlash is still a two match show, though Mickie vs. Trish is so goofy and borderline insane that I’m liking it more every week. They’re doing well enough for a show that is nothing but Wrestlemania fallout though and that’s a nice surprise.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 10, 2006
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

We’re on the way to Backlash and one of the bigger matches has already been set up. That would be Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon vs. Shawn Michaels/God as the feud has officially gone on both too long and off the rails. I’m not sure what to expect tonight, but the pay per view card needs some building with less than three weeks to go. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here are Edge and Lita to get things going, complete with a graphic announcing Edge vs. HHH vs. John Cena for the World Title at Backlash. So there’s your fast build. Edge says he’s back in the title hunt and announces the match for the fans. He must be the favorite because he didn’t lose at Wrestlemania or last night so the fans need to start appreciating him. Look no further because the champ is here. Cue John Cena to thank Edge for the introduction because now THE CHAMP IS HERE.

Cena says Edge was indeed the most watched WWE Champion in five years but he was champion for two weeks. The first week people wanted to see who beat John Cena and the second week people wanted to see Cena beat him up. As for tonight, Cena wants to fight but Edge hides behind Lita, saying Cena actually cares about what the fans think. Why is Cena always trying to please them? Unless they are under the age of seven, they don’t care about him.

Cena admits there is some unrest out there because these people know him. They remember him as he was and people want to see the evil side of him come out again. Cena: “Pompous, crass, a little bit sexual.” After the high pitched pop, Cena looks at the fans and says he’ll call them later. Cena knows some fans want to have him say they suck, but it just isn’t his way. If everyone bowed down to him, he would probably get some ego problem with his nose in the air and call himself something like the King of Kings.

Cue HHH to laugh off the idea that Cena doesn’t want to be HHH because no one could ever make that mistake. HHH has to pause for the YOU TAPPED OUT chants but he doesn’t care what they say. Everyone here respects him because he has done a bunch of things. Cena says he doesn’t like HHH but he does respect him so maybe he should learn something from him. Like don’t make the same mistake twice. Last week he was Pedigreed and pinned so would HHH like to try it again?

Cena is ready to fight but Edge cuts them off saying he was the star of Wrestlemania and now they’re trying to leave him behind again. HHH: “Are you done now?” He brings up the times he beat up Foley six years ago and how we’ll see Foley again because he’s always back. As for tonight, HHH has been talking to Vince McMahon, which will see Edge in a handicap match against the two of them. An annoyed Edge storms off to wrap up a pretty long opening segment. Wait not so fast as HHH teases attacking Cena but then extends his hand. Cena slaps him in the face and then leaves.

Rob Van Dam vs. Rob Conway

Conway is shaken up as HHH beat him down on the way to the ring. Shelton Benjamin comes out to join commentary, allowing Conway to get in a cheap shot from behind. Rob kicks Conway out to the floor and hits the spinning kick to the back. Shelton challenges Rob for a match for the briefcase at Backlash as Rob hits the top rope kick to the face and the Five Star for the quick pin.

Post match Van Dam is asked about the challenge and says he isn’t putting up the briefcase at Backlash. Now if Shelton is interested in putting up the Intercontinental Title, we might be onto something. Shelton can have a week to think about it.

Mickie James, with shorter and blonder hair (looking rather like Trish’s), talks about how this has been her greatest Wrestlemania by far. She can’t wait to go back to Toronto to celebrate but Maria points out that Trish is from Toronto. This earns Maria a title shot later tonight, but she’s a little scared because Mickie is, you know, a psycho.

We see a clip from See No Evil. After the clip, Kane isn’t here for an interview so we’ll try again later. This is edited off of the Network.

Post break, Kane is wandering through the back and we hear voices, presumably in Kane’s head, talking about May 19 and how everyone will know.

Tag Team Titles: Spirit Squad vs. Big Show/Kane

Kane and Show are challenging. Johnny and Nick are defending for the champs so Show sends Johnny into the corner for the big chop to start. There’s a slam to put Johnny down again and it’s off to Kane for a chop of his own. Johnny gets sent into the corner so Nicky tries his luck, with Johnny having to make his own save. Nicky dropkicks Johnny onto Kane for two but Show comes in for a headbutt. Show throws Johnny onto the rest of the team for a crash and we take a break.

Back with Nicky coming back in and Kenny getting in a cheap shot from the floor to keep Kane in trouble. A distraction makes Show give chase around the ring, allowing Nicky to work on Kane’s leg. Johnny’s missile dropkick to the back gets two but Kane sits up, freaking the champs out. They head outside with Kane wrecking the team and then throwing a bunch of chairs in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Not terrible but fairly boring here as they go with the storyline ending rather than more of a traditional finish. Kane going insane is something that shouldn’t surprise many people and could lead to something…well probably not good but it’s likely to be different. At least they didn’t switch the titles back in a bad move.

Post match Kane destroys the Spirit Squad and the referee so Show tries to calm him down. That earns Show a chokeslam of his own and Kane leaves on his own.

John Cena is ready to team with HHH tonight but will take him out if he has to.

Vince McMahon and Shane McMahon went to church earlier today and Vince was annoyed that he couldn’t make a donation with a credit card. Then he uses holy water to do a HHH spit and compares himself to God, because creating Adam and Eve is equal to creating Hulk Hogan and Shawn Michaels. God casts out demons and he cast Ted Turner out of wrestling. Vince even has his own commandments:

1. I am the boss.

2. There are no other bosses before me.

3. Thou shalt not tell me to move on.

4. Thou shall not take thy urine and douse it into my face.

5. Thy shall not cross thy arms and shout SUCK IT.

6. Thy shall not take my disciple’s face and shove it into my rectal cavity.

7. Thy shall not take a garbage can and shove it over my head and fall from a thirty foot ladder and try to take me out.

Vince says even God cannot protect Shawn Michaels at Backlash. Shane reads a version of the Lord’s Prayer (Vince’s semen is mentioned) and Vince promises to unleash the apocalypse on him. If he’s lying, may God strike him down right here. As Shane steps to the side, Vince praises his own name. I’m going to guess that this got them some letters.

Umaga vs. Chris Guy

Guy is better known as Colt Cabana. Umaga sends him into the corner to start and hits the middle rope headbutt. A thumb into the side of the neck finishes Guy in a hurry.

Smackdown Rebound.

Carlito talks about how he got rid of 275lbs of dead weight last week. He isn’t happy with Chris Masters so here is Masters in person. Masters talks about how they have stabbed each other in the back several times and suggests that he screwed Carlito (and himself) out of the Tag Team Titles at Wrestlemania on purpose. Carlito thinks that’s as stupid as the Masterlock, so let’s have a Masterlock Challenge right now. Masters goes for it and gets chaired down. Maybe he is that stupid.

We look at Chavo Guerrero dedicating his Intercontinental Title shot to Eddie Guerrero, losing, and quitting. Next week: Jim Ross has an exclusive interview with Chavo.

Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Maria

Mickie is defending and looks very Trishesque. Commentary is eating Subway, with Coach taking Joey’s. Maria rolls her up for a fast two so Mickie gets annoyed and kicks her in the ribs. A middle rope ax handle misses but Mickie is right back with a backbreaker. The Mick Kick retains the title in a hurry.

Post match here’s Trish….as Mickie James. Trish does the really excited Mickie impression and kisses Mickie, who bails with what seems to be a blown mind.

John Cena/HHH vs. Edge

Lita is here too of course and Edge jumps Cena from behind to start. Edge stomps away but walks into a belly to belly for two. Lita’s distraction lets Edge get in another shot to take over but Cena grabs the fisherman’s suplex for two. HHH tags himself in to annoy Cena and unloads on Edge in the corner. Lita gets up on the ropes and leans forward to distract HHH though, allowing Edge to send him into the steps.

Back in and the Edge-O-Matic gets two and Edge hammers away in the corner until an atomic drop slows him down. There’s the facebuster but Edge grabs a DDT to put them both down. HHH gets over for the tag to Cena and it’s time to clean house in a hurry. HHH breaks up the FU though and hits the Pedigree on Edge. Cena hits the FU on HHH and grabs the STFU to make Edge tap.

Rating: C-. The wrestling wasn’t the point here but that makes things more interesting in this case. There is no point in pretending that this match mattered as anything more than mind games and they didn’t bother to here. That’s an interesting way to go for a feud like this and I’m curious to see how it works.

Overall Rating: D+. It’s pretty clear that Backlash is going to be a two match show and only one of those was built up well this week. The Vince vs. Shawn stuff is a little difficult to watch and things are probably only going to get worse. The triple threat is looking cool though and that’s what matters most in the end. As for the rest of the show, what else were you expecting for a bunch of stuff that is going to serve as Backlash filler at best?

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 1, 2020
Location: Skyway Studios, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Madison Rayne, Josh Matthews

It’s a big show this week after the two weeks of big shows as the World Title is on the line again. This time it’s Eric Young challenging Eddie Edwards because this company sees something in Young as a major star. I’m not sure what that something is but I’ve yet to actually see it. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Sami Callihan vs. Rob Van Dam

Katie Forbes is here with Van Dam but her gyrating distracts Rob, allowing Sami to knock him off the apron. Rob gets sent into the barricade as Josh asks if Father Time has finally caught up with Van Dam. Josh can be a little slow on the uptake at times. They get back in and Katie’s need for attention lets Sami kick him in the face again. Katie finally does something right by grabbing Sami’s foot but the slingshot legdrop only hits apron. Another trip puts Sami down as Madison thinks Katie might cause Van Dam a lot of trouble.

Now the spinning kick to the back over the barricade connects and it’s a faceplant back inside. Rolling Thunder hits knees though and a low cutter drops Van Dam again. Katie gets on the apron AGAIN but this time it actually works as Rob hits a running kick to the back of the head. The split legged moonsault connects but the Five Star takes way too long. A hanging cutter out of the corner plants Van Dam for two so Katie just comes in this time. Even commentary is begging for the referee to eject her as Rob gets a rollup, which Sami reverses for the pin at 7:22.

Rating: C-. Katie got annoying here and that’s what they were going for. I could see them doing something where Katie is the reason Van Dam is losing and he refuses to admit that he’s gotten old. It could go a few ways and if it means Katie is off TV for a little bit, I guess I can just suffer through the horrible, tragic loss.

Post match Katie yells at Sami so Rob jumps him from behind. Katie adds a running hip attack in the corner and holds the chair over the face for a running dropkick from Rob.

The announcers preview the show.

Hernandez beats Fallah Bahh at arm wrestling and gets paid. Reno Scum comes in and wants the money for looking for Heath. There’s no sign of him but Hernandez says no pay until they beat Rhino.

Rosemary, Taya Valkyrie and John E. Bravo rant about everything going on with the three of them as of late.

And now, Wrestle House.

Everyone is trying to get Johnny Swinger out of a room because Crazzy Steve got to dress him (thanks to winning last week). Susie promises not to make fun of him so he finally comes out, dressed like a clown. Swinger: “Matt Borne is laughing at me.” Tommy Dreamer comes in and makes Bravo the referee between Rosemary and Taya.

Reno Scum vs. Rhino

The brawl starts in the aisle with Rhino fighting away but getting caught in the corner. Some right hands to the face have Rhino in trouble as we take a break. Back with Rhino being sent into the corner so Luster can punch him down. A falling headbutt gets two and we hit the chinlock. Thornstowe’s cheap shot from the floor cuts off the comeback so Rhino goes outside and Gores Thornstowe down. The referee gets distracted….and the cameraman (ahuh) comes in with the Wake Up Call to Luster, giving Rhino the pin at 7:14.

Rating: D+. It’s not like there is anything else of note for Heath to do so letting him team with Rhino again is fine enough. Rhino has been doing nothing but playing the hits for years around here so it’s not like it’s taking apart some other big story. That and the Heath4Impact stuff is a lot better than VINCE DIDN’T USE ME RIGHT.

Post match Scott D’Amore sends security out to get rid of Heath.

An EC3 promo interrupts Moose. EC3 says Moose can come find him, or the TNA World Title will be sent back to him piece by piece. Moose freaks out and tells a production worker to call the cops. After Moose leaves, the guy reveals a Control The Narrative shirt so that isn’t likely working.

Karl Anderson tells some guys a story about Doc Gallows falling asleep in a bar when the Rascalz are told to come over. They can’t because they have Ace Austin and Madman Fulton tonight. The Good Brothers don’t seem to mind and plug their future beer.

Back at Wrestle House, Swinger tries to tell Bravo that if he plays his cards right, he could get Taya and Rosemary. Bravo doesn’t listen to Swinger, who leaves.

The Deaners and XXXL get in a fight over the beer and we go cinematic as they fight around the house. Dreamer gets in a plug for Impact and a ping pong match breaks out breaks out between Cody and Acey. Larry punches the wall by mistake, followed by the ping pong ball going into Cody’s mouth. Cody is thrown into a trashcan but comes back to slug away at Acey…who is knocked into an elevator. Cody takes the stairs and then steals a bicycle, allowing him to miss a clothesline on Acey.

Back upstairs, Cody gets a long running start (as in long enough for Acey to get back upstairs and talk to Larry) but the charge misses, allowing Acey to pull Larry out of the way. Cody is back and they fight into XXXl’s room, where they find the beer bottles. A DDT plants Larry, which turns him into Lawrence. Jake knocks him out but Susie pops in. The violence brings out a flash of Su Yung, allowing Susie to walk out…with very bloody hands. Dreamer names her the winner and runs off. This stuff is such goofy fun.

Rascalz vs. Madman Fulton/Ace Austin

Dez and Wentz for the Rascalz. Dez rolls away from Fulton to start and gets on the monster’s nerves with a slap to the face. More escapism allows the tag off to Wentz for some double team striking to put Fulton down for two. Fulton finally gets back up and stomps away at Wentz’ back, allowing Austin to slingshot in with a legdrop.

The playing card cuts the finger and it’s back to Fulton for some corner choking. The referee yells at him, allowing the tag to Dez who gets to kick away at everyone. That ticks Fulton off and he misses a charge out to the floor. Wentz hits a dive over the top onto Fulton and Dez hits the Final Flash to finish Austin at 4:51.

Rating: C+. This didn’t have much time, which is a shame as I like everyone involved in the match. It’s nice to see the Rascalz get a pin, though it is kind of amazing to see how far down Ace has fallen since Slammiversary. They didn’t have a lot of time here but we got some good stuff out of what they had.

Post match the Motor City Machine Guns come out and praise the Rascalz for a bit. This turns into a challenge for a title match to next week but Ace and Fulton jump the Rascalz from behind. The Guns make the save.

Deonna Purrazzo is annoyed at how under dressed people are for her black tie celebration. No Willie Mack, shoelaces do not count. Purrazzo is annoyed but asks Kimber Lee to be her security for the match.

Rohit Raju is admiring the X-Division Title. TJP comes up to ask about a title shot but Raju says he has to beat Chris Bey. That sets off some rhyming and TJP leaves.

Rosemary vs. Taya Valkyrie

John E. Bravo is referee. Taya starts the trash talk by calling Rosemary an emo kid who shops at Hot Topic. Rosemary comes back by mocking Slam Town and the slapping begins. Bravo breaks up the brawl so Taya kicks her in the chest to set up the running hip attack. More yelling at Bravo lets Rosemary drive her into the corner and then hit a spear. A lot of yelling ensues but a double kick to the head sets up a double knockdown. Both of them miss charges into the corner but Taya grabs the Road To Valhalla for the pin at 3:35.

Rating: C-. It was weird to see a Wrestle House match go this long but it helps that you had two of the better options in the ring. This worked out well enough, though I’m surprised that it actually had a clean finish. They needed to have something definitive like this so this was not only surprising, but kind of necessary.

Post match Bravo tries to check on Rosemary but she shoves him away. Bravo whips out a ring and says he can manage Taya and marry Rosemary too. Everyone is stunned and Taya gives her blessing. Rosemary: “You do know we’re a demon right?” Rosemary accepts. Kylie Rae says that’s sweet but can we get back to the Impact Zone now? Taya says sure and they get in the ring.

The Deaners are very banged up and want beer, but they realize there was only one bottle under Larry’s bed. We cut to Crazzy Steve who admits he took the beer because he couldn’t read the labels. Back in the ring, Taya is congratulated for finding an activity they all liked. They all touch hands and warp away. I guess they ran out of taping.

The ring is surrounded and Kimber Lee introduces Deonna Purrazzo for her celebration. We start with a toast and Purrazzo talks about how she has painted a masterpiece since she debuted. No one is ruining her night but here is Jordynne Grace to congratulate her on her wins. Enjoy the title reign, because it isn’t going to last. Cue Tenille Dashwood, who says it’s great that everyone is here for her return. Tenille is coming for the title but Grace goes to get in her face. The Wrestle House Crew appears in the ring and Susie and Kylie Rae clear the ring with ease. Rae winds up with the Knockouts Title.

Brian Myers is ready to offer Willie Mack a handshake next week. Moose comes in to ask if Myers has seen EC3 so Myers sends him down the hall.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Eddie Edwards vs. Eric Young

Eric is challenging and wears a mask to the ring because…well it isn’t like anything else makes him stand out. Eddie isn’t waiting but charges into an elbow to start. He’s fine enough to snap off an overhead belly to belly for two and there’s a chop in the corner. Eddie snaps the throat across the top to send Young outside and we take a break. Back in and Eddie punches him to the apron and they both go outside.

That goes fine for Eddie as they go back up to the apron, where Young snaps off a neckbreaker to take over. Back in again and another neckbreaker gives Young two and it’s time to stomp away. Another neckbreaker gets another two and we hit the neck crank. A heck of a forearm rocks Eddie but he snaps off the Blue Thunder Bomb to put both guys down. Eddie strikes him into the corner but Young gets up and chokes him from the middle rope. The Backpack Stunner gets Eddie out of trouble and an enziguri in the corner rocks Eric again.

Young knocks him off the top though and the top rope elbow gets two. They strike it out and Eddie kicks him off the apron to the floor. Eddie dives onto hit but hurts his knee on the landing. Back in and Eddie gets two off the tiger driver with a grab of the knee messing up the cover. Eric rolls to the floor from the threat of the Boston Knee Party so Eddie hits a dive, messing up the knee even more. Back in and Young grabs the title, which is quickly taken away. That lets Young hit Eddie with the hockey mask, setting up the piledriver for the pin and the title at 15:41.

Rating: C. I think my thoughts on Eric Young are well known enough at this point so allow me to say GAH! Of all the people they have available on this roster, they pick ERIC YOUNG to win the World Title? Are people really that fascinated by his big bugged out eyes and calling himself a maniac that he should be the top man in the promotion? This is rather frustrating as Eddie hadn’t even been champion long, but I guess Young is more interesting because….I really have no idea actually. Uh, Canada? I guess? Maybe?

Post match Young stays on Eddie by cranking on the knee until security breaks it up.

Post copyright notice, Moose finds a stalker style collection of photos of himself, including some from yesterday and at his hotel. A bunch of threads come together over a map, where Moose says he needs to go. He pulls down the board and finds a message behind it saying YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a weird show overall as they were jumping all over the place. I kind of liked that though, as you had a nice mixture of stuff as they seem to be on a fresh taping cycle. The show was rather energetic and I liked some of it, aside from the result of the main event. That being said, more Kylie, Rosemary, Rascalz and Dashwood are certainly good things so hopefully they keep this up next time.

Results

Sami Callihan b. Rob Van Dam – Rollup

Rhino b. Reno Scum – Wake Up Call to Luster the Legend

Rascalz b. Madman Fulton/Ace Austin – Final Flash to Austin

Taya Valkyrie b. Rosemary – Road To Valhalla

Eric Young b. Eddie Edwards – Piledriver

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: August 25, 2020
Location: Skyway Studios, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Madison Rayne, Josh Matthews

It’s the second and final night of Emergence and that means we’re in for a big match. This time around it’s going to be a thirty minute Iron Man match for the Knockouts Title as Deonna Purrazzo defends against Jordynne Grace. The World Title is on the line as well, plus the usual Wrestle House shenanigans. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Eddie Edwards vs. ???

Eddie is defending against….Rob Van Dam with Katie Forbes. Yeah that’s a little better than Brian Myers. Eddie goes to the arm to start and snaps off an overhead belly to belly. They head outside in a hurry with Rob sending him into the barricade but a kiss from Katie slows things down. Eddie hits a suicide dive but another distraction lets Rob get in a posting. That means the spinning kick to the back as Eddie is on the barricade, meaning Katie needs to dance.

They bother heading back in for a change with Rob sending him throat first into the middle rope. The split legged moonsault gives Rob two but the Blue Thunder Bomb plants Van Dam again. Eddie grabs the tiger driver for two more as Madison insists that Rob and Katie owe her a couch. Rob shoves him off the top for a crotching and Rolling Thunder connects. The Five Star misses though and the Boston Knee Party retains the title at 7:51.

Rating: C. Not as good as you would expect, but then again why would you have any kind of expectations for Van Dam in 2020? Watching him wrestle is better than watching Katie do anything though so at least there was a minor positive. Unfortunately for Eddie this seems to be leading to an Eric Young match and….I’m really not sure why.

Post match Eric Young runs in and jumps Eddie from behind. Eric shouts NEXT WEEK because the World Title goes through him.

Here’s what else is coming tonight.

And now, Wrestle House.

The Deaners are throwing a toga party and insult Johnny Swinger.

We cut to Swinger, who is in his leopard print toga. Crazzy Steve isn’t sure about this, but Swinger says follow his lead and they’ll have every woman in the house.

The party is on with a lot of dancing and drunkenness. Kylie Rae is rather happy and sober but Taya isn’t happy with her for still being #1 contender. The Deaners and XXXL bury the hatchet over the beer, followed by Steve getting powder thrown in his eyes. Steve says he’s blind and it’s Swinger’s fault. Match time and we’ll even make it a blindfold match with the loser having to dress like the winner next week. Tommy Dreamer: “Let’s get to it.”

Crazzy Steve vs. Johnny Swinger

Cousin Jake is referee. Steve honks his horn a bunch and Swinger falls for it, allowing Steve to beat him up. Swinger does the point for the crowd noise thing but they send him into an empty corner, allowing Steve to get the pin at 1:23.

Eddie Edwards goes Eric Young hunting and quotes Batman, saying we can get nuts.

Rhino thinks you should vote Heath4Impact. And then he’ll get to Reno Scum.

Here’s Eddie in the ring to say Eric is trying to send a message. He can have the title shot next week but let’s get nuts right now. Cue Eric to say everything is by design, but maybe it wasn’t a single, solitary act of violence. We’ll do everything next week. That’s fine with Eddie, but he isn’t waiting until next week to give Eric his beating. Referees and Scott D’Amore come out for the save and D’Amore gets shoved down. Eric says he has Eddie right where he wants him.

Rohit Raju talks about how it took him a long way to get to this title but he made it work despite not being the popular guy or knowing the right people. Now he is giving people opportunities, but it is his time.

It’s off to Locker Room Talk, with the Rascalz now serving as Madison Rayne’s co-hosts. After some references to smoking, Madman Fulton and Ace Austin come in as this week’s guests. They don’t like being asked about the losses to the Good Brothers and violence seems imminent. They wind up walking out instead, leaving Madison to turn down an invitation to the Tree House.

Sami Callihan says last week was 2020 in a nutshell. He would have won the World Title last week if Rob Van Dam hadn’t jumped him. Then Van Dam lost tonight because Sami is in his head. Next week, Sami is going to be waiting in the ring so Van Dam can come see him.

We get a long video on EC3’s successes in Impact Wrestling and winning the World Title over and over. As long as the TNA World Title exists, he can never be free. Moose is hiding behind words and is a false idol. Now he is coming for Moose and to change everything. You have been warned.

Brian Myers vs. Willie Mack

They go with the grappling to start as Josh suggests that Madison Rayne hasn’t wrestled more than thirty minutes combined in her life. Thankfully Madison calls him out for not really having a career as Mack shoulders Myers down hard. Myers comes back with a chop and choking on the ropes, followed by a kick to the back for two.

Mack’s running hurricanrana into a dropkick sends Myers into the corner and it’s time to shove it out. A double leg takedown has Mack in trouble and Myers sends him throat first into the top rope. We hit the chinlock and then a reverse chinlock to take things in another direction. Mack fights up but is elbowed straight back down as Myers is getting frustrated.

The third chinlock goes on but Mack is back up with a heck of a Pounce for the double knockdown. Mack’s spinning slam into a jumping legdrop gets two. The Samoan drop into the standing moonsault gets the same but Myers breaks up a superplex attempt. That means a top rope elbow can give Myers two, followed by an enziguri for the same. Back up and Myers slips out of a Rock Bottom and grabs an O’Connor roll with trunks for the pin at 9:43.

Rating: C. Not too bad here and Myers needs a win to give him some credibility around here. You can’t get very far coasting off a tag team with Zack Ryder from last year so the win could give Myers some much needed capital. Mack will be fine as it was a cheating win, though he has been in a bad way as of late and needs a win of his own.

Heath says we have one week to get Heath4Impact trending so he can team with Rhino against Reno Scum next week.

It’s back to Wrestle House with the Deaners thinking that Lawrence D. is the Stefan to Larry D.’s Steve Urkel. Allie gets in Rosemary’s face and accuses her of using Lawrence to hurt John E. Bravo. Dreamer asks Bravo about it but he says Rosemary isn’t his girl.

Lawrence is laying on a table for Rosemary, who gets a bit sick at the sight of him. Rosemary, after taking his hand away from her face, says it wasn’t supposed to go this far but here’s an angry Bravo to interrupt. Bravo slaps him and that turns Lawrence back into Larry. Match time.

Larry D. vs. John E. Bravo

Acey Romero is defending and a shot to the face drops Bravo. The Best Hand In The House finishes him at 34 seconds.

Rosemary tries to console Bravo, who admits he has feelings for her. Taya comes up and is stunned and blames Rosemary for everything. Next week, they fight for everything, including Bravo.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

Knockouts Title: Jordynne Grace vs. Deonna Purrazzo

Purrazzo is defending in a thirty minute Iron Man match. They lock up to start and Purrazzo even goes to the mat without it being broken. Grace goes to the wristlock and powers Purrazzo down by the arm. Purrazzo reverses into one of her own and is taken down in a hurry. A headlock takeover works a bit better for the champ but it’s reverses into a headscissors. Purrazzo nips up and gives graceful bow before getting shouldered down. A faceplant sets up a half crab on the champ, sending her over to the rope as we take a break.

Back with no falls and Grace sending her hard into the corner. There’s no clock but Josh says we have a little over twenty minutes left. Some hard whips to the corner have Purrazzo in trouble but they head outside where she gets in a pump kick for a breather. The clock shows eighteen minutes left as Purrazzo finally starts in on the arm. The arm gets draped over the top rope and it’s off to a standing armbar. Grace gets her foot in the ropes for the break and we hit fifteen minutes to go. Purrazzo hits a short arm clothesline and we take a break.

Back with Purrazzo cranking on the arm even more, which is so interesting that we got to a full screen replay of Grace’s arm being stomped on the steps during the commercial. Purrazzo takes her down by the arm with nine minutes left and the cranking continues with eight minutes left. Grace comes back with some forearms and puts her on top for a running palm strike into a superplex. They pull themselves up so Grace can win the slugout, setting up back to back backsplashes or two.

The rear naked choke goes on and Purrazzo is out for the first fall with….a need for a clock but Josh says about 4:30 to go. Back up and Purrazzo gets a Downward Spiral into a Koji Clutch but Grace makes the rope again. We have two minutes left and they strike it out until Purrazzo has to elbow out of the Grace Driver.

Grace runs over the referee and now the Grace Driver connects for no count. That means a check on the ref so Purrazzo gets in a belt shot to tie it up at about a minute left. Purrazzo covers for two and grabs the armbar, which is broken up with a rollup. A bridging German suplex gives Purrazzo two and the Fujiwara armbar makes Grace tap with two seconds left.

Rating: B-. It was good enough but this felt like they were going off of a textbook of how to have an Iron Man match instead of doing anything interesting or unique. It isn’t bad by any means (the production value was, with the clock being up for about five seconds at a time and not even a scoreboard) but they were treating this like some kind of an epic and it was just a match that got more time than most.

Overall Rating: C+. I wasn’t feeling this one as the show probably didn’t need to go two weeks. The Wrestle House stuff took away from the special feeling as well as that is as goofy as you can get (in a rather entertaining way). The main event was nice but it’s nothing worth going out of your way to see. Not a bad show, but it definitely didn’t feel like a big night.

 

Results

Eddie Edwards b. Rob Van Dam – Boston Knee Party

Crazzy Steve b. Johnny Swinger – Rollup

Brian Myers b. Willie Mack – O’Connor roll with trunks

Larry D. b. John E. Bravo – Best Hand In The House

Deonna Purrazzo b. Jordynne Grace 2-1

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 20, 2006
Location: FedEx Forum, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

So we are finally done with everything between here and Wrestlemania, unless WWE brings back some randy episode of All American Wrestling to promote the show. There is still a little more work to do to get to Wrestlemania and there are four shows left to get it all done. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at Vince and Shane McMahon cheating Shawn Michaels out of the street fight at Saturday Night’s Main Event.

The Spirit Squad is in the ring to cheer about Shawn tapping and to introduce the McMahon. That means a marching band playing When The Saints Go Marching In, a bunch of confetti, and Vince dancing to guarantee a good opening. Vince praises Shane, who talks about Shawn losing on Saturday. That makes it McMahons 3, Michaels 0, including two pins on one night. Shane knows Vince is going to make it 4-0 at Vince’s greatest creation when he beats Shawn at Wrestlemania.

Vince says Shane is his greatest creation and talks about various horrible things he has done to Shawn in recent weeks. Things are all heading to Wrestlemania though and it is going to be a turning point for him. Shawn is going to crash at Wrestlemania and become his old self again. Just to make it more fun, their match is now No Holds Barred. Shane: “I love it!” As for tonight, Shawn can face HHH. Before we get to that though, here’s John Cena to interrupt.

Vince doesn’t like being disturbed but Cena tells Darth McMahon to calm down. Cena doesn’t want to wait for Wrestlemania because he took a Pedigree on Saturday. Shane gets in Cena’s face and says he doesn’t make the rules around here and threats are made. Cena wastes no time in taking the shirt off but Vince breaks it up and gets annoyed at the CENA chants. As for tonight, Cena can have HHH….when he teams with Shawn against HHH/Shane. Vince dances off as only he can, but Shane is a little unsure about this one.

Post break Shane isn’t sure about this but here’s HHH to say Vince better have a plan. Vince is going to be out there with them.

Carlito vs. Kane

Carlito ducks a right hand to start and slugs away in the corner to as much success as you would expect. A DDT works a bit better as Kane takes a full second before sitting up. The faceplant lets Kane step on Carlito’s head but he comes back with a quick Backstabber. Kane isn’t having any of that and grabs him by the throat, followed by the uppercuts. The top rope clothesline is dropkicked out of the air for two but Kane is back with a big boot. Carlito breaks up the chokeslam, only to springboard into another attempt to give Kane the pin.

Rating: C-. There wasn’t much to see here but that’s not exactly surprising. You can only get so much out of Carlito against a monster like Kane and that doesn’t exactly bode well for the Wrestlemania title match. Chris Masters and Carlito aren’t the best team in the first place and putting them against two monsters because there is no one else to get the shot isn’t a good sign.

The Blackjacks are going into the Hall of Fame. I would have thought they were in before.

Intercontinental Title: Ric Flair vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Rob Van Dam

Shelton is defending but has no Mama. Flair and Van Dam knock the champ down to start and Flair drops a knee. Van Dam’s spinning legdrop lets Flair get two but Rob isn’t happy with the cover. The alliance falls apart in a hurry this time around so Rob gives Flair the spinning legdrop this time around. Rob hits the big running flip dive to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Flair and Van Dam both busted open as their heads collided on the flip dive. Flair stomps Van Dam in the corner but Shelton pokes Flair in the eye to take him down. Rob is sent hard into the post so Flair is left to chop away at Shelton. A Samoan drop into a suplex puts Flair down for two with Rob making a save this time around. Rob grabs a northern lights suplex for two on Shelton but Flair gets in a save of his own.

The spinwheel kick staggers Flair again and Rob follows with Rolling Thunder. Shelton is kicked to the floor and Rob adds the split legged moonsault for two. The champ brings in the title but gets kicked away, leaving Rob to miss the Five Star. Flair Figure Fours Van Dam but Shelton runs in for the cover to pin Flair and retain.

Rating: C+. I liked this more than I was expecting to and there is a good chance that this is going to shift things over to Shelton vs. Van Dam for the title. Flair has already had his title reign and there is no reason to keep him around the title picture after the losses. Van Dam needs something to get him back into the thick of things and an Intercontinental Title feud would do just fine.

We look at Saturday Night’s Main Event Cutting Edge, with Mick Foley destroying Edge. A Conchairto on the ramp was included.

Here’s a bandaged Mick Foley for a chat. Foley says Edge is speaking the truth when he says that Foley is a big teddy bear. It’s true that Foley has never had the Wrestlemania moment and yes, a few weeks ago he would have said a town’s name, plugged a book no one would read, and then prance around with a sock puppet. Then Edge busted him open with a Conchairto and it was different.

This time it was Chinese food, because just a short while after tasting it, he wanted it all over again. Edge has awakened something inside of Foley and it is known as Cactus Jack. The BANG BANG brings out…actually just Lita this time around. The fans aren’t pleased to see her but Lita says none of them are getting any of her so just shut up. Edge is stuck in Detroit with vertigo so Lita needs to speak to the Winner the Pooh shirt wearing Foley, just for a minute.

See, Edge has an idea: let’s just have a wrestling match at Wrestlemania. That isn’t Foley’s thing, but maybe it could be his Wrestlemania moment. Foley isn’t sold and demands that Lita slap him so Edge can come out here for the cheap shot. He demands that Lita slap him so she does, drawing out Edge. Foley is ready for him though and sends Edge to the floor, setting up the Mandible Claw on Lita to keep Edge from coming in for the big beatdown. Edge is furious as Foley leaves.

Now confirmed for Wrestlemania: Candice Michelle vs. Torrie Wilson in a Playboy pillow fight.

Torrie Wilson vs. Victoria

Hold on though as Candice is carried out on a bed with her big Playboy cover behind it. Candice throws pillows at Torrie and the Widow’s Peak gives Victoria the pin in less than a minute.

Big Show vs. Chris Masters

Show starts with the big chops in the corner and shrugs off Masters’ clotheslines. A superkick drops Masters instead and another shot puts him on the floor. Show follows him and misses a big boot, crotching himself on the barricade. Masters uses the distraction to grab a chair and blasts Show for the quick DQ.

Post match another chair shot lets Masters try the Masterlock but settle for a posting instead.

Here’s Mickie James and there is a big present in the ring. She admits that she did the wrong thing on Saturday and it’s a shame because the two of them could have been beautiful together. There is a silver lining though, because now she can become Women’s Champion. That way millions of girls can look up to her, but she won’t shove them away like Trish did to her. As for tonight though, Mickie has a gift for her. Trish doesn’t come out, so Mickie has the box opened to reveal….a kidnapped Ashley.

Now Trish comes out but as she’s a few feet from the ring, Mickie tells her to stay down or she’ll….I’m not sure what she could do to Ashley in the time it would take for Trish to get inside actually but it stops her anyway. Mickie screams at Ashley but walks too close to Trish, who pulls her out to the floor. Trish goes in to save Ashley, but Mickie gets back in to give Trish the DDT. With Trish out, Mickie kisses her and smiles a lot, despite having a busted nose.

This Week In Wrestling History: Bret Hart vs. Steve Austin in the submission match. I still get something new out of that match every time I see it.

Wrestlemania rundown.

HHH/Shane McMahon vs. Shawn Michaels/John Cena

Vince McMahon is here too. Shawn charges straight at Shane, who runs into the crowd in fear. As security holds Shawn back and Vince does a little Shane dance, Shane sneaks back around (that red baseball jersey is such a great disguise) to ringside but Cena punches him out of the air and we’re ready to go. Hold on though as Vince says that’s a DQ for Cena using a closed fist.

Cena is thrown out under threats of losing the title so let’s have a handicap match.

HHH/Shane McMahon vs. Shawn Michaels

Security holds Shawn back so HHH can get in a cheap shot before the bell rings. Vince has a mic to taunt Shawn as Shane gets in a kick to the ribs. HHH comes in and gets caught with a right hand, only to grab the spinebuster on Shawn. Shane adds an elbow and hands it right back to HHH to unload in the corner.

The facebuster cuts Shawn down again and Vince declares this as brutal. Shawn fights back on Shane though and hits the forearm into the nipup. HHH comes in sans tag so Shawn fights them both off and sends HHH outside. The top rope elbow connects on Shane but HHH breaks up Sweet Chin Music. That means a crotching against the post but here’s Cena to shove Shane off the top. Security comes in for the no contest.

Rating: C-. This was another storyline advancing match as Shawn continues to want to beat the fire out of Vince, who continues to get himself in trouble by not knowing when to let something go. We should be in for a pair of good matches at Wrestlemania, as both of these stories have been set up rather well.

Shawn and Cena clean house but Vince announces himself (with his eyes bugging out) vs. Cena for next week.

Overall Rating: B. I really don’t remember liking the build to Wrestlemania this well as the Raw side has been very good. They have three big matches on the red side and they are making me want to see all three of them. Just keep things going over the last week and then make the show work well in Chicago. Rather strong show here that did everything they needed to do with less than two weeks before Wrestlemania.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 13, 2006
Location: Ford Arena, Beaumont, Texas
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

We’re still on the way to Wrestlemania and John Cena vs. HHH is starting to look good. Other than that you have Vince McMahon vs. Shawn Michaels in the big soap opera feud, which is setting up Saturday Night’s Main Event later this week. I’m not sure what else we are going to be getting on the way there but it could be a good one. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

Here are Vince and Shane McMahon to open things up, along with some security and what looks like a doctor. There is no way this can end well. They get inside and there is a black curtain waiting in the ring. Vince talks about how they both beat Shawn Michaels last week, but after the matches, Shawn was slurring his speech and could barely stand. Therefore, it is clear that SHAWN MICHAELS IS ON DRUGS!

Tonight, Shawn is going to take a public urination test. Shawn is ordered to come out here right now so here he comes in a hurry. Vince doesn’t like the pro-Shawn chants and wants to know why Shawn did what he did last week. Shane calls him a hypocrite and a disgusting junkie. Vince isn’t done and says that if Shawn tests positive, he forfeits both Saturday Night’s Main Event and Wrestlemania.

Shawn goes behind the curtain with the doctor as Vince cuts a PSA about not doing drugs. The doctor has the sample in the cup and Vince asks Shawn if he has anything to say. Shane thinks Shawn should just say no, but Shawn says it’s better to be p***** off than p***** on. Shawn throws the cup into the McMahon’s faces in a segment that would be copied almost verbatim in 2020. I know Vince loves this stuff but egads it can be grating to sit through.

Post break, Vince and Shane rapidly wash their faces and mouths, with Vince making Shawn vs. the Spirit Squad in a cage.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Victoria

Trish is defending and Candice Michelle is at ringside. Victoria charges at her to start but gets Thesz pressed down for some right hands to the face. A kick to the head slows Trish down and the spinning side slam gives Victoria two. Victoria’s over the back choke has Trish in more trouble and she gets dumped outside. That doesn’t go anywhere and they’re back inside for a double clothesline. Trish is up with the handstand into the spinning headscissors but Candice breaks up Stratusfaction. The Widow’s Peak is loaded up but here’s Torrie Wilson for the save as Candice has the referee. The Chick Kick retains the title.

Rating: D+. Given that the Torrie vs. Candice feud is built on who looked better in Playboy, what are you expecting from a match with the two both getting involved? Trish vs. Victoria is one of the only good combinations they had for a long time but they did it so many times that it wasn’t exactly interesting again. Not the worst, but it was more about the people not in the match.

We get a movie trailer for Mick Foley, which is rated O for Overrated. It includes a bunch of clips of his Wrestlemania losses, plus some critics saying they can’t wait to see Foley lose to Edge.

Edge vs. Goldust

Cowboy Troy, the host of a country music competition show, joins commentary. Goldust starts with the hip attack as commentary completely ignores the match to plug the show and talk about country music. Edge hammers away but Goldust comes back with some right hands and the powerslam. Granted since the camera is on commentary, some of the impact is kind of lost. The right hands in the corner have Edge in trouble but a Lita distraction lets him hit the spear for the pin.

Rating: D. They really didn’t have another time to do the country music thing? This was just a way to get Edge on screen and run the trailers, but the focus was on the cowboy. Goldust wasn’t going to do anything here and I had forgotten he was even with the company at this point.

Post match Edge mocks Cowboy Troy and rolls his own trailer, promising to end Foley for good at Wrestlemania. Back in the arena, Edge says Foley will be his guest on a special hardcore edition of the Cutting Edge at Saturday Night’s Main Event.

Big Time Wrestlemania Moment: Roddy Piper vs. Morton Downey Jr.

Trish interrupts Maria’s chest workout (with the Bowflex Extreme) to ask if she has seen Torrie. Maria hasn’t, but Trish finds Torrie out cold with a Playboy on her chest.

Verne Gagne is going into the Hall of Fame.

It’s time for the John Cena/HHH contract signing, with Coach running things. Both guys come out and HHH throws his feet on the table. Before signing, HHH talks about Cena FUing Big Show last week. That should kill a normal man, but not John Cena. At Wrestlemania, that doesn’t mean anything because the match is a formality. The title is coming back home, and HHH signs his side. Cena signs as well without saying anything. HHH: “And just like that, it is over.”

Usually this is the time where HHH hits someone with a sledgehammer, so Cena says bring it on. HHH doesn’t need an advantage this time though, because Cena is already at a disadvantage. Cena laughs it off and threatens to violate HHH if he tries to use the sledgehammer. They both get up but here are Big Show and Kane to interrupt. HHH has the sledgehammer attached to the table but here are Chris Masters and Carlito to jump the monsters. Vince pops up to say not so fast and makes a six man tag main event.

Shawn Michaels vs. Spirit Squad

In a cage with Texas Tornado rules. Ignore commentary saying that it’s Shawn vs. the entire Spirit Squad when only four of the five are in there. The team gets smart by climbing in from different sides of the cage and Shawn can only fight them off for so long. They toss him into the air for a big crash and then into the cage but a big Poetry In Motion misses. Kenny misses the top rope legdrop and Shawn starts slugging away, including the top rope elbow to Mikey. Sweet Chin Music hits but here’s Shane to slam the door on Shawn’s head and put Kenny on top for the pin.

Rating: D. Another angle disguised as a match and that’s fine. They’re doing a nice job of making you want to see Shawn beat the fire out of both Vince and Shane (more the former than the latter) and that’s how you set up a match like this. There isn’t much else that can be done and they have gone with this for months now. Give us a good payoff and it will be fine.

Post match Shane sends Shawn into the cage and asks for it to be raised. Shawn is busted open and Shane hits the Van Terminator.

Trish says Torrie has a concussion and is out of Saturday Night’s Main Event. Mickie James comes in to offer her services as a replacement. After the match, they can go their separate ways. Trish agrees and Mickie has a creepy smile.

Video on Steve Austin, featuring the old Oh H*** Yeah song.

Vince is pleased with Shane and announces that Jim Ross is coming back to call the match. Shane threatens to bloody JR if he doesn’t call the match right.

Smackdown Rebound.

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Rob Van Dam

Shelton is defending and Ric Flair is on commentary. There is no Mama Benjamin though because she is having heart surgery, all because of Flair causing her to get even worse. Feeling out process to start with Rob driving him into the corner and hitting a running clothesline. A dropkick puts Shelton on the floor but he comes back in and runs the corner to superplex Rob back down.

We take a break and come back with Rob caught in an armbar as Flair talks about where he wants to be partying in Chicago after winning Money in the Bank. Shelton misses a dropkick and Rob starts striking away, setting up a running splash for two. The stepover kick puts Shelton on the apron and the top rope kick to the face makes it worse. Shelton grabs the title so Flair takes it away, only to be knocked outside by Rob. A rollup with a grab of the ropes retains the title.

Rating: C. The commercial and ending took away from what they had here but it was a nice job of pushing Money in the Bank, which hasn’t had the biggest build so far. Then again it’s not exactly a concept that needs a lot of setup. Flair doesn’t really fit into the idea of a ladder match but the match is set up in a way that he can be used in the right way.

Saturday Night’s Main Event rundown.

Carlito/Chris Masters/HHH vs. Big Show/Kane/John Cena

Show shoves Carlito into the corner to start and it’s off to Kane for a clothesline. The side slam drops Carlito again but it’s a rake to the eyes, allowing the double tag to Cena and HHH. The fans seem to like this but HHH hands it back to Carlito before doing anything. Cena drops him in a hurry and glares at HHH, allowing Masters to get in a cheap shot from behind.

Carlito comes back in to stomp away for two, followed by a lifting Downward Spiral for the same. Cena avoids a charge in the corner though and brings in Big Show to clean house. Everything breaks down and HHH is left alone with the monsters. The double chokeslam is loaded up but Carlito and Masters come in with chairs for the DQ.

Rating: C. Run of the mill main event tag match here and they’re doing a good job of making me want to see Cena vs. HHH. Cena wanting to fight and HHH hiding until Wrestlemania makes sense and that’s a nice way to set things up. Carlito/Masters vs. Big Show/Kane isn’t exactly the same thing but when have the Tag Team Titles been?

Post match the tag teams leave and Cena tells HHH to bring it. HHH teases getting in but Randy Orton runs in for the RKO to Cena to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This was kind of a weird one as they are less than three weeks away from Wrestlemania but at the same time they are building towards Saturday Night’s Main Event. They managed to make it work this time though and that’s a nice thing to see, even if the wrestling wasn’t great. Cena vs. HHH is going far better than I remember and it feels like a major match. Just get down to Wrestlemania though and things will feel a lot better.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Summerslam 2003
Date: August 24, 2003
Location: America West Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Attendance: 16,113
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s one of the biggest shows of the year and I can’t bring myself to get excited over it. This show really hasn’t been built up very well with only the Smackdown World Title match with Kurt Angle defending against Brock Lesnar offering much interest. The rest of the show feels very flat, especially the Raw World Title match which should have been Goldberg vs. HHH. Let’s get to it.

The United States Marine Corps Color Guard presents the flag and Lillian Garcia sings the National Anthem. As always, it’s an outstanding performance.

The opening video shows a beach but the sun goes behind a cloud and the shot shifts to the Elimination Chamber. The narration basically makes it sounds like the Chamber is poisoning everyone’s souls and turning them all evil, including Kane, who isn’t even in the thing. I’d bet money that Jim Ross wrote that, thinking it sounded even more dramatic than when he gives the Cell human characteristics.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. La Resistance

La Resistance is defending and Bubba brings out the American flag. The Dudleys jump them in the aisle and the beatdown is on with D-Von choking Dupree with the robe. An armdrag into an armbar (FEEL THE HATRED!) doesn’t go very well as Dupree takes D-Von into the corner so the champs can take over. D-Von is right back with the shots to the head, allowing the tag off to the very loud Bubba. It might be annoying, but I can always go for a partner making noise and being active on the apron instead of just standing there.

Grenier gets tied in the Tree of Woe so Bubba can stand between his legs for a loud scream. It’s not quite table time, allowing Grenier to get in a cheap shot so the champs can really take over. Dupree grabs a bearhug, which is quite the odd visual on someone as big as Bubba. A Bubba Bomb gets him out of trouble though and the not very hot tag brings in D-Von for the house cleaning.

Dupree gets powerslammed for two but the champs clear the ring again. The double spinebuster gets two on D-Von (there’s the crowd reaction, and all it took was kicking out of the champs’ finisher). Bubba comes back in for the Flip, Flop and Fly, followed by What’s Up on Grenier. 3D connects but Grenier pulls the referee out, allowing a cameraman to deck D-Von with his camera, giving Dupree the pin. It’s the serviceman from Raw of course.

Rating: C-. The match was ok, but not exactly the hottest choice in the world for an opener. Having the Americans lose to the EVIL Frenchmen doesn’t quite get the show off on the right foot and now we’re likely to see another rematch between these teams as this feud to show off THE POWERS OF AMERICA continues. La Resistance is fine to hold the titles, but they need something more than “we are French and therefore evil”.

Post match Spike Dudley comes in and gets beaten down as well. So after the big American military opening and carrying the flag, the Dudleys lose to the heatless champions again. The Dudleys would get the belts back a month later, but instead we need to see them lose here. Of course we also needed this match instead of the World’s Greatest Tag Team, Rey Mysterio, John Cena or Christian.

Coach tries to talk to the Dudleys but makes the mistake of praising La Resistance’s success. Bubba declares that people who hate America suck and promises to get the belts back.

Christian asks Eric Bischoff why he’s not on the show but Eric blames Steve Austin. Since he can’t wrestle, he offers to be Bischoff’s backup tonight. Bischoff has a plan though and promises to tell the world what happened with Linda on Monday.

We recap A-Train running Stephanie McMahon over last month and costing her a match against Sable. This turned into A-Train vs. Undertaker and WWE actually expects us to believe that this isn’t going to turn into Sable vs. Stephanie again.

A-Train vs. Undertaker

Sable is with A-Train in a rather nice outfit. Undertaker has bad ribs so he dodges a bit to start instead of going in full steam ahead. Instead of staying on the ribs, A-Train tries a headlock, allowing Undertaker to knee him in the ribs and take over. The running DDT gets two on A-Train and Old School connects early on. A shot to the ribs finally cuts Undertaker off (thanks for finally getting the idea Train) and some forearms to the ribs are good for two.

A-Train stays on the ribs with a vertical suplex, followed by a headbutt. Cole: “It’s like being hit in the head with a typewriter.” Normally I would question that, but Cole is the kind of dolt who would do that for fun. Undertaker manages Snake Eyes and a double clothesline puts both guys down for a quick rest.

A slugout goes to Undertaker (well duh) and a big legdrop gets two. For some reason Undertaker tries the Last Ride but a shove gives us a ref bump. The Derailer of course gets a delayed two and the referee gets bumped again. That is way, WAY too popular of a booking trope these days. A-Train hits the bicycle kick to take Undertaker down but gets a chair kicked into his face for two. The chokeslam gives Undertaker the pin.

Rating: D. Matches against power guys like this can be Undertaker’s bread and butter but there’s only so much you can do to make A-Train interesting. The match wasn’t terrible and they kept it slow enough, but this Undertaker stands up for Stephanie thing is about as forced as you can get. There’s only so much you can do as a surrogate for Vince vs. Stephanie, especially when the best villain available for the spot is A-Train.

Post match Undertaker loads up the Last Ride but Sable comes in and rubs his chest. Undertaker grabs her by the throat and STEPHANIE IS BACK!!! WE CAN LIVE HAPPY LIVES AGAIN!!! Stephanie gets to do some catfighting until A-Train pulls Sable out. I guess this is what passes for a big moment around here.

Some fans in the front row think Goldberg is going to win the Chamber. Uh, thanks for that.

We recap Shane McMahon vs. Eric Bischoff, which starts off looking a lot like Shane vs. Kane. Bischoff then decided that he hated Shane for stealing WCW from him back in 2001. You know, because that’s a story people were thinking about. Eric went after Shane, including having Kane attack him and cost him a match against Eric.

Then Eric went to Connecticut and may have forced himself on Linda McMahon. It came out of almost nowhere and really was more of a complicated way to get to Kane vs. Shane. It’s more of WWE thinking you could just toss a McMahon into a story and everything would be fine, which doesn’t work as well when you do it in two straight matches.

Shane McMahon vs. Eric Bischoff

Before the match, Bischoff addresses what happened with Linda, saying it happened again and again and again. Now he knows where Shane gets all of his energy, so here’s Shane in a….complete non hurry actually. Shane pounds him down in the corner with reckless abandon (Or is it still Ruthless Aggression?), followed by some forearms to the ear (called crossfaces by JR).

Eric can’t make it up the aisle as Christian might be coming off like a good idea right about now. A baseball slide sends Eric into the barricade as this has been one sided so far. Shane’s dancing punches take Bischoff down again but the Coach of all people comes in to chair Shane down. Let me make sure I’ve got this straight: Bischoff thought COACH was a better option than the Intercontinental Champion? I get that they want to protect Christian from having to get beaten up by Shane but that makes no sense from Bischoff’s perspective.

Eric says he’s restarting the match as falls count anywhere with no disqualifications so Coach sends Shane into the steps for two. They head inside where Bischoff tells the production staff to cut JR and King’s microphones so Coach can do live commentary in the ring. Bischoff throws kicks as Coach does the traditional job of mocking JR. Shane finally gets in a kick of his own and scores with a DDT, only to have Coach hit him low.

That’s enough to make the glass shatter, as everyone knew was coming. Coach does the “I’m not touching you” thing until Shane shoves him into Austin, meaning the beatdown can be on. The dispatching doesn’t take long and Austin orders JR and King’s mics be turned on again. Austin is about to leave but Shane grabs Bischoff’s hand and slaps Austin in the jaw, meaning a Stunner is perfectly acceptable. Shane pulls him up at two though, as the big elbow drives Bischoff through the announcers’ table for the pin.

Rating: F. What did this accomplish? There’s no reason this couldn’t have been the end of Monday Night Raw as the big deal was Coach turning heel. Use this valuable pay per view time (some of the biggest pay per view time of the year) on the people who matter, not for the sake of making Kane look good because he never gets to do that otherwise. This was really annoying, especially when you consider everything that was left off the show so this could get a lot of time.

Beer is consumed post match because this hasn’t eaten up enough time yet.

HHH and Ric Flair get very serious with Randy Orton, telling him that he needs to focus on keeping the title on HHH and nothing more. Orton: “What? I got it.”

US Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit vs. Tajiri vs. Rhyno

Eddie is defending under tornado rules and one fall to a finish. Tony Chimmel tells us that this is the four way for the US Title before telling us that this is the four way for the US Title. It’s a brawl to start with Eddie staying on the floor, which might not be the smartest move in the world here. With Tajiri sent outside, Benoit snaps the Crossface onto Rhyno, drawing Eddie in for the save. Rhyno clotheslines Tajiri for two and Eddie is there for the save again. Eddie gets triple teamed but Rhyno shifts over to Benoit for some reason.

A powerslam gives Rhyno two on Eddie as it’s still all over the place, albeit not at the fastest pace. Rhyno and Benoit are sent outside, leaving Tajiri to monkey flip Eddie for two. All four are back in with Rhyno superplexing Eddie for two with Tajiri making the save. Tajiri gets the same by kicking Benoit in the head but the champ saves this time. A headscissors puts Rhyno on the floor and Eddie’s rope walk hurricanrana gets two on Benoit.

Tajiri comes back in and gets caught in the Lasso From El Paso but Benoit quickly follows with a Crossface on Rhyno. Eddie isn’t sure what to do but Tajiri making the ropes makes his decision much easier. That earns Eddie a Crossface of his own until Rhyno and Tajiri break it up. Rhyno busts up Tajiri’s spine for two and it’s Benoit rolling some German suplexes to make Tajiri feel even worse.

Tajiri manages to get in one of his own though and bridges back for a close two, leaving everyone down at once. Back up and Tajiri gets Benoit in the Tarantula, leaving Rhyno to Gore Eddie. The problem is Eddie had the US Title in his hands to bust up Rhyno’s shoulder, leaving him down in pain. Benoit’s Swan Dive gets two as Tajiri dives in for a save, only to have both of them fall outside. Eddie sneaks in with a frog splash to pin Rhyno and retain the title.

Rating: B-. This was a good match that was trying hard to be great. There were a few too many dead spots in there though and they never hit a higher gear that they were capable of, but at least they did well with what they did. Eddie stealing the pin after cheating with the belt makes perfect sense for him and it’s the right idea to keep the title on him with the roll he’s currently on.

We look at Brock Lesnar destroying Zach Gowen, who will be out for a good while as a result.

Earlier tonight on Heat, Matt Hardy accepted a forfeit win over Gowen.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle. Brock beat Angle for the title at Wrestlemania and Angle went on the shelf. While he was out, Angle and Lesnar became friends, which lead them to Vengeance where Angle won the title back in a triple threat. A few weeks later, Lesnar turned on Angle to join forces with Vince in the name of being the REAL Brock Lesnar. Brock attacked Angle in a cage and left him laying, which has only ticked Angle off coming in to the title match.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar

Brock is challenging and we actually get an old school rules explanation from the referee. They hit the mat to start with Angle getting the better of it (not exactly shocking) and frustrating Lesnar early on. Another takedown looks to set up the ankle lock but Kurt goes to a headlock that Brock can break far more easily. Odd thinking there. Back up and Brock shoves him away without too much effort so Angle armdrags Lesnar outside, frustrating Brock all over again.

Kurt follows him outside and starts in on Brock’s knee before sending him into the barricade. Back in and the first suplex gets two on Brock, who responds by gorilla pressing him out to the floor in a big crash (great visual with Angle just falling to the floor). Now it’s Brock’s turn for a suplex as he’s starting to look all surly. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two on Kurt and we hit the rear naked choke before that meant much to a lot of fans. It’s off to a regular bodyscissors instead, followed by a chinlock.

Of course Angle fights up (after Brock let go of two better holds), this time being cut down by a hard knee to the ribs. A hard clothesline drops Angle again and the move that would become known as Shell Shock (complete with walking around the ring) gives Brock two. Some shoulders in the corner stay on Angle’s ribs so Kurt hits him in the face. You don’t do that to Lesnar though and Angle gets more shoulders to his ribs for his efforts.

Brock’s big running charge goes into the post though and Kurt’s running shoulder block staggers Lesnar. A dropkick to the knee has Brock in more trouble and it’s time to roll the German suplexes (with Lesnar holding the shoulder off each one). The Angle Slam doesn’t work and Brock goes back to the ribs with a spinebuster. Since one finisher is countered, the other has to be as well so Kurt reverses the F5 into a good looking DDT for two of his own. Now the Angle Slam is good for two and Angle is even more fired up.

In my favorite Angle spot, he puts the straps back up so he can take them down all over again. The ankle lock goes on but Brock rolls forward, sending Angle into the referee. Kurt charges at him for what looks like a sunset flip but stops halfway, wrapping his legs around Brock’s neck and arm (almost in an upside down triangle choke). Since that’s not the easiest hold to maintain, Angle switches over to the ankle lock for the tap but there’s no referee.

Cue Vince to chair Angle in the back, setting up the F5 for a delayed two. Another F5 is reversed into the ankle lock to put Brock in real trouble. He grabs all four bottom ropes but the hold isn’t broken for absolutely no apparent reasons, meaning Brock has to tap to retain Angle’s title.

Rating: B+. It’s not quite their Wrestlemania match but Angle getting his win back makes sense….in theory. They’ve been building Lesnar up as the unstoppable monster for the last few weeks so it would have made sense to have him win here (with Vince’s help) before losing the rematch down the line. That being said, I’m fine with Angle retaining here as it makes sense from the long term. In other words, this one depends on how you look at it, but it’s a rather strong match either way.

Vince gets an Angle Slam through a chair to wish him a happy birthday.

We recap Kane vs. Rob Van Dam. Kane lost his mask and despite Van Dam trying to calm him down and say that he didn’t need the mask, Kane went crazy and started destroying everything in his path. This included beating up Van Dam, Shane McMahon and Linda McMahon and setting Jim Ross on fire. This seems to be setting up Kane vs. Shane, but first Van Dam gets his shot tonight.

Kane vs. Rob Van Dam

No Holds Barred, which is added right before the match. JR refers to Kane as the “byproduct of an inbred mongrel dog”. As I so often wonder of both JR and Jim Cornette: WHERE DO THEY COME UP WITH THIS STUFF??? Van Dam tries to start fast but gets clotheslined down in short order. They head outside with Kane sending him into the barricade but charging into a boot, allowing Rob to follow up with another kick to the face.

Van Dam gets posted though and it’s time for a ladder. Rob is smart enough to kick it into his face, followed by a top rope kick to the chest. A crossbody puts them both on the floor and of course Kane takes over again. The announcers talk about what Kane did to Linda, which is both a good and bad idea. It’s good in that it shows you what Kane is capable of and how evil he is, but it also shows you how unimportant this match is because it’s all about Shane vs. Kane down the line.

Back in and another kick to Kane’s face knocks him into the corner (there’s certainly a pattern here) as JR deems Kane smelly. Kane shoves Rob off the top and down onto the barricade as the violence starts to go the monster’s way again. The ladder to the face drops Rob again and it’s time for some simple choking. Thankfully the referee doesn’t break it up because that comes off as barring a hold, which might get a lawyer involved with his life.

Rob gets kicked outside again and this time Kane follows by going to the top, only to dive into the barricade by mistake (that looked bad on replay as Kane seemed to slip, leaving him without enough distance and sending him head first into the barricade). Now it’s Rob getting in a ladder shot, which Kane of course shrugs off.

A DDT on the floor knocks Rob silly but he’s able to drop toehold Kane into the steps. The spinning kick from the apron drops Kane again, followed by Rolling Thunder onto the chair. Kane sits up so Rob dropkicks the chair into his face for good measure. The Van Terminator misses though and a Tombstone onto the steps is enough to end Rob.

Rating: B. Nice brawl here but I couldn’t shake the feeling that it didn’t mean anything given the story they’ve already told us is coming. Rob was trying here though and made the match fun, especially with the story of the wrestling going to Van Dam and the hardcore stuff going to Kane, but we’re heading for Kane vs. Shane and everyone knows it.

Bischoff is banged up and doesn’t want to talk about his loss but Linda McMahon comes in. Eric starts stammering and gets slapped in the face as the billionaire gets revenge. I can totally relate.

Flair gives HHH a final pep talk.

The Chamber is lowered.

Long recap on the main event, which also features a look at the Chamber. HHH was scheduled to defend against Goldberg one on one but a torn groin necessitated a multi-person match because Heaven forbid HHH take a spear and Jackhammer and lose in a short match with the excuse that he wasn’t ready or was wrestling hurt or any other idea they had. Somehow we get Kevin Nash in another main event though, because that’s what the world was waiting for. There have been some personal issues added after the match announcement but it still feels a little thrown together.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Goldberg vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton vs. Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Nash

The intervals are three minutes this year because we need to move this along. Goldberg slips during his entrance, which is edited out of the Network version (though he goes from standing in the middle of the stage to a few steps to the right off a camera cut). Shawn and Jericho start us off as the fans chant for Goldberg. They hit the mat to start for the Flair pinfall reversal sequence before trading slaps.

Shawn backdrops him but has to switch to a small package to escape the Walls attempt. Jericho can’t hit the Lionsault so instead we’ll listen to JR mess up history by saying this title has only changed hands once before in Arizona. That’s some nice sounding trivia, but remember that this title isn’t even a year old yet and has its own lineage. Sure that doesn’t mean much, but this is the way WWE has set things up and they can’t keep it straight. Anyway, Orton is in third with a high crossbody for two on Shawn, followed by the signature backbreaker gets the same on Jericho.

The RKO is broken up though and Jericho backdrops Orton onto the steel. Now the Walls work just fine on Shawn but it’s Kevin Nash in fourth. That’s enough for Jericho to break it up and go after Nash, who isn’t happy with his new haircut. I find it rather spiffy, even as Nash throws Jericho into the Chamber wall. Nash’s side slam gets two on Orton and Jericho is busted open. Nash goes over for a Jackknife, only to get superkicked down, allowing Jericho to roll him up for the pin, meaning Nash was in there for all of two minutes.

HHH is in fifth….and Shawn superkicks him right back into the pod. Nash isn’t done yet though and Jackknifes Jericho and Orton as a parting gift. Shawn, who is down off throwing a superkick, covers both villains for two each. Everyone punches it out until Goldberg is in to complete the field. Right hands and forearms abound and it’s the spear to get rid of Orton in short order. Jericho gets launched onto the cage floor again and another spear sends him through the Plexiglas.

As Goldberg gets back in, Shawn scores with a forearm followed by the top rope elbow. Sweet Chin Music misses though and it’s a spear and Jackhammer to get us down to three. The same thing gets rid of Jericho and it’s HHH (who still hasn’t gotten out of the pod) vs. Goldberg for the title.

Flair shuts the pod again and holds it shut as well as he can, only to have Goldberg break the “unbreakable Plexiglas”. Some right hands keep HHH in trouble and Goldberg sends him into the Chamber walls a few times. A clothesline takes him down again and HHH is busted open. Goldberg loads up the spear but Flair slips HHH the sledgehammer to knock Goldberg cold and the title is retained.

Rating: D. This wasn’t even twenty minutes long. The best way to describe this match would be a middle finger to the fans who are nearly dying to see HHH lose that freaking title already but we need to make sure he’s ready to give Goldberg the rub or something. I’m not sure how WWE can validate keeping the title on HHH when they have Goldberg right there and HHH can barely move, but I’m sure it’s just the right thing to do, at least according to HHH. That’s 2003 in a nutshell: cheer for whomever you want, but you get HHH.

The rest of the match was of course nothing because Goldberg was the only person who could conceivably win the thing. Instead of something competitive and compelling, it was fifteen minutes of waiting around on Goldberg, then Goldberg crushing people for a few minutes, and then HAHA IT’S THE SLEDGEHAMMER AGAIN! The ending was so deflating that there’s not

Evolution beats Goldberg down and handcuffs him to the Chamber because WWE needs to demonstrate how to book Goldberg.

Overall Rating: D. The show isn’t even that bad, but rather almost completely flat. There are a few good matches with Brock vs. Angle being a highlight but that just made me want to watch the Wrestlemania match again. The TV coming into this show has been really dull due to a lot of McMahons and while they were used more sparingly here, you could still feel them throughout the whole show. That main event really took the life out of the whole thing though and there was nothing else that was going to fix things. Not a good show, but it could have been worse.

Ratings Comparison

La Resistance vs. Dudley Boys

Original: C

2013 Redo: D+

2018 Redo: C-

A-Train vs. Undertaker

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2018 Redo: D

Eric Bischoff vs. Shane McMahon

Original: D

2013 Redo: N/A

2018 Redo: F

Rhyno vs. Tajiri vs. Chris Benoit vs. Eddie Guerrero

Original: B-

2013 Redo: B+

2018 Redo: B-

Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: A-

2013 Redo: B

2018 Redo: B+

Kane vs. Rob Van Dam

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2018 Redo: B

HHH vs. Goldberg vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Nash vs. Randy Orton

Original: D

2013 Redo: C-

2018 Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C

2018 Redo: D

That’s one of the hardest swings I’ve ever had on a show but you can see a little consistency in there somewhere.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/06/history-of-summerslam-count-up-2003-brock-vs-angle-ii/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/08/08/summerslam-count-up-2003-meet-the-old-hhh-same-as-the-new-hhh/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Summerslam 2003
Date: August 24, 2003
Location: America West Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Attendance: 16,113
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tazz, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Another year another Summerslam and yet again the company has changed. Tonight we have a double main event with a Wrestlemania rematch of Lesnar vs. Angle II for the Smackdown Title and an Elimination Chamber match for the Raw Title. 2003 was split down the middle in quality as Raw was atrocious and Smackdown was some of the best television in company history. It’s always interesting to see the two shows come together. Let’s get to it.

The US Marine Corps presents the American flag while Lillian sings the Star Spangled Banner.

The opening video talks about how there is evil in this world and the Chamber tonight will prove it.

Raw Tag Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. La Resistance

The Dudleyz are challenging and the EVIL foreigners are Rene Dupree and Sylvain Grenier. Bubba of course comes out with an American flag to hammer in the face status. The whole patriotism thing was a big deal in this feud as the third member of La Resistance, an American named Rob Conway, pretended to be a soldier to sneak up on the Dudleyz. It’s a brawl to start in the aisle with the challengers in full control.

D-Von chokes Dupree with the robe to start before armbarring Grenier down. A slam and a legdrop gets two on Sylvain and it’s off to Bubba for the power brawling. He puts Grenier in the Tree of Woe and stands on his crotch to make the French guy scream. The Dudleys clear the ring but Grenier gets in a cheap shot to give the champions control on Bubba. A double shoulder puts Bubba down for two as the USA chant starts up.

Back to Dupree for a bearhug, which isn’t often a move you see on a fat man like Bubba. Some headbutts break up hold but Bubba walks into a spinebuster for two. Bubba punches his way over to the hot tag (four minutes into the match) and D-Von cleans house. A rollup gets two on Grenier as everything breaks down. D-Von walks into a double spinebuster for two but it’s What’s Up to Dupree. The 3D lays out Dupree but Grenier makes save. Now a cameraman lays out D-Von with a camera to the head to retain the titles. It’s Rob Conway of course.

Rating: D+. That’s a pretty lame choice for an opener. Not only did the fans not get what they wanted but the match sucked as well. This was a dark time for the tag team division and there was no reason at all for there to be two sets of titles at this point. At the end of the day there wasn’t nearly enough depth and it made for lame matches like this. The Dudleys would get the belts next month.

Spike tries to run in for the save but Conway lays him out with the camera. Conway hasn’t been named here but I think the spoiler is ok at this point.

Coach says La Resistance was clever so Bubba accuses him of being anti-American and vows to get the belts back.

Eric Bischoff is warming up when Intercontinental Champion Christian comes up. He wants to know why he isn’t on the show but Bischoff blames Co-GM Steve Austin. Christian isn’t pleased but offers to be in Eric’s corner for his match later. Bischoff says he has his own plan and won’t answer what happens in the bedroom with Linda. Eric says he’ll tell everyone later.

We recap A-Train vs. Undertaker. A-Train (Tensai) is working for Vince who is in a semi-war with Taker, setting up tonight’s match. This would evolve into a bigger war soon enough.

Undertaker vs. A-Train

A-Train comes out with Vince’s mistress Sable and Undertaker has bad ribs. Feeling out process to start with A-Train grabbing a few headlocks for early control. Taker hits a quick Russian legsweep for two and he cranks on the arm to set up Old School. The second attempt works a bit better and Taker stays on the arm. A big boot misses and Taker falls out to the floor, reinjuring the ribs.

A-Train starts pounding away on the ribs and sends them into the barricade for two back in the ring. Taker gets in some shots to the ribs of his own for a breather but A-Train comes back with an impressive suplex to take him down. This is the kind of character A-Train was perfect as: a heavy who could do some impressive moves at times. A-Train fights out of a sleeper with a belly to back suplex but Taker hits a quick Snake Eyes to get a breather. A big boot misses the big bald head and a double clothesline puts each other down.

Taker wins a slugout after A-Train hung in there a lot longer than expected. Now the big boot sets up the legdrop (BROTHER) for two and another legdrop to the back of the head with A-Train on the apron has the bald one staggered. The Last Ride is easily broken up but the referee is bumped.

A-Train hits the Derailer (chokebomb) but the delayed count only gets two. Taker accidentally clotheslines the referee down again (the second match does NOT warrant two ref bumps) and A-Train brings in a chair, only to have it cracked over his own head for a near fall. A-Train escapes a tombstone but gets caught in a chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: D. What are you expecting out of this match? This was back when Taker was pretty bad in the ring due to being completely unmotivated and bored with the biker character. Thankfully he would be the Dead Man again by Wrestlemania and would eventually reignite his career around 2007.

Post match Sable tries to seduce Taker for some reason but Stephanie comes in to go after her, presumably setting up a mixed tag.

Coach polls some fans on who wins the Chamber.

We recap Shane McMahon vs. Eric Bischoff. Shane was feuding with Kane but Bischoff stopped them from fighting. Austin made Bischoff vs. Shane for that night but Kane interfered and cost Shane the match (he later tied Shane to the steps and electrocuted his testicles. It was stupid back then and it’s even worse now. This is what I had to deal with people).

Later, Bischoff caused JR to nearly be lit on fire, so Austin had to prevent a lawsuit by making Kane vs. Bischoff but Kane walked away for some reason, giving Bischoff the win by countout. This was a qualifying match for a Summerslam match with Kane, making our match tonight. Then Bischoff went to Linda’s house and pinned her arm behind her back and kissed her against her will.Think that’s enough to set up this match?

Shane McMahon vs. Eric Bischoff

Before the match, Eric implies that he screwed Linda several times over that night. This brings out Shane to send Eric into the corner for a beating. Crossface punches send Bischoff to the floor but Shane clotheslines him in the back of the head. Back to ringside and Shane breaks the referee’s count (sidebar: why doesn’t that happen when both guys are on the floor and one guy slides back in at the last second?) before kicking away at Shane even more.

Bischoff is sent into the announce table and stomped down, only to have Coach come in with a chair and turning heel by helping Bischoff. The referee says ring the bell but Bischoff makes it No DQ and falls count anywhere. Shane is sent into the steps for two as Coach is playing the enforcer here. He holds Shane as Bischoff tells the production truck to turn off JR and King’s microphones so Coach can do commentary.

Bischoff starts firing off kicks as Coach does the eternally annoying JR impersonation. This keeps going for awhile until Shane gets in a right hand, only to be dropped by a low blow from Coach. Cue Steve Austin who can’t fight unless physically provoked. Shane shoves Coach into Austin which is enough for the beating to begin. Austin and Shane stomp Coach down in the corner and clear the ring. Austin has the mics turned back on as Shane grabs Eric’s hand and uses it to slap Austin’s face, meaning Austin can Stun Bischoff. That’s not good enough or Shane so he puts Eric on the table for the big elbow for the pin.

Rating: N/A. This was a long segment instead of a match. Also to recap how stupid things were at this point, we’re supposed to be interested in Austin/Shane vs. Coach/Bischoff when Austin has equal power to Eric. We also have Stephanie vs. Sable, because EVERYONE wants to see the McMahons dominating the show. This is in addition to Evolution dragging Raw down the drain with the Kevin Nash and Goldberg feuds. See why 2003 is considered so bad?

Wrestlemania moment. Kind of an odd time for one of these but Shawn superkicking Bret was an awesome moment.

We see Kevin Nash getting ready. JR: “Nash is a street fighter at heart.” I haven’t laughed that hard in awhile.

Flair and HHH tell Orton to keep the title on the Game tonight and nothing more.

US Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit vs. Tajiri vs. Rhyno

Eddie is defending and this is one fall to a finish. Eddie has ticked off all three challengers so they all want to take him out. The champion bails to the floor so everyone else can fight and we quickly get down to Rhyno vs. Benoit. Chris hooks a quick Crossface, drawing Eddie in for the save. Tajiri is back in as well but Eddie breaks up a cover. Everyone is in now and all three challengers go after Eddie at the same time.

Rhyno hits a running shoulder to Eddie’s ribs in the corner and powerslams him down for two but Benoit comes back with a German suplex. A belly to back gets two on Tajiri but Eddie makes another save. Benoit is suplexed to the floor and Eddie is left alone with Tajiri, only to have the challenger monkey flip Eddie down for two. Rhyno comes back in and sends Tajiri to the floor but Benoit wants to beat up Eddie himself, triggering a brawl between challengers.

Rhyno gets control again and superplexes Eddie down for two but Tajiri kicks him in the back of the head. Tajiri snaps off the handspring elbow for two on Chris but Rhyno sends Tajiri to the floor, only to have Eddie headscissor him out to the floor. Eddie hurricanranas Benoit out of the corner for two and it’s Tajiri in again for some hard kicks. Eddie hooks the Lasso From El Paso (Liontamer crossed with the Texas Cloverleaf) on Tajiri but Benoit stops Rhyno from making the save with the Crossface.

Tajiri makes the ropes so Eddie turns around to dropkick Benoit in the head for the save. Benoit grabs the Crossface on Guerrero but Rhyno and Tajiri make the double save. Rhyno hits a spinebuster for two on Tajiri but Benoit knocks Rhyno to the floor. Chris rolls some Germans on Tajiri but Tajiri reverses into one of his own for two on Benoit.

Tajiri catches a charging Benoit in the Tarantula and the distraction lets Eddie get the US Title to shield himself from Rhyno’s Gore. Tajiri breaks up the Frog Splash but gets caught in the Tree of Woe. Benoit Swan Dives Rhyno but Tajiri makes a last second save. Tajiri and Benoit fall to the floor and Eddie frog splashes Rhyno to retain.

Rating: B+. This was non-stop action for about eleven minutes and incredibly entertaining as a result. It’s a great example of how wrestling and action can be so much more interesting than whatever drama the McMahons have going on at the moment. Watching these four make save after save is WAY more fun than hearing about Bischoff forcing himself on Linda or Stephanie being FURIOUS with Sable over whatever affair her dad is having this month.

We recap Brock Lesnar destroying Zack Gowen on Smackdown (good for him). Lesnar had him COVERED in blood and rubbed the blood on his own chest. Gowen had his leg broken in two places so he couldn’t face Matt Hardy tonight. Matt declared himself the winner on Heat like a good heel would.

We recap Angle vs. Lesnar. Angle lost to Brock in the main event of Wrestlemania, leading to Vengeance where Angle pinned Lesnar in a three way to get the title back. The two of them became best friends and friendly rivals, leading to Brock wanting a rematch. Vince said no, but if Lesnar can beat Vince in a cage with Angle as referee, he can have the shot. Before the match, someone attacked Brock and laid him out with a concussion. Brock popped up and turned on Angle, revealing that he’s working for Vince as the new heavy and getting the title shot for tonight. Vince called this the REAL Brock Lesnar.

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is defending of course. Brock shoves him in the corner to show off the power so Angle starts getting lower. They hit the technical stuff on the mat but Brock escapes into a standoff. Brock quickly takes him down with a headscissors but it’s Angle escaping to another stalemate. Lesnar shoves him around with the power so Angle leverages him into the corner and says bring it on. Some quick armdrags send Brock out to the floor and various things are destroyed in frustration.

Lesnar picks up the belt and tries to walk out with it but Kurt pounds him down in the aisle to start the brawling. Back in and Angle snaps off the first overhead belly to belly for two before stomping him down in the corner. Brock comes right back with a gorilla press and throws Angle out to the floor. Angle is sent into the steps as this is far different from the Wrestlemania match. Back in and Brock hits a release belly to belly without leaving his feet.

Angle slips out of another gorilla press and gets two off an O’Connor Roll, only to walk into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. We hit the rear naked choke on Angle which is turned into a bodyscissors. Angle fights up but runs into a knee to the ribs to put him right back down. Kurt is pounded into the corner but grabs a rollup for two, only to be clotheslined back down. The story of this match isn’t working as well as their first fight. This is much more of a traditional wrestling match with good vs. evil and that’s not what these two are best at.

Lesnar comes right back with something like a Muscle Buster for two, followed up by shoulders to the ribs in the corner. Brock sends him into the corner to stay on the ribs and back before firing off more shoulders in the corner. Angle finally moves to avoid a charge, sending Brock shoulder first into the post. A dropkick takes Brock’s knee out and Angle rolls some Germans for a close two. Brock comes back with an overhead belly to belly of his own but Angle pops up and tries the Slam, only to be countered into a spinebuster for a close two. The fans are into this match.

Angle counters an F5 into a DDT and both guys are down. A delayed cover gets two for the champion and there go the straps. The Angle Slam connects but Brock is up at two as per tradition. In one of my favorite moments, Angle puts the straps up so he can take them back down, firing himself up even more. There’s the ankle lock but Brock makes a rope. Angle pulls him back so the rope doesn’t count in a questionable call, so Lesnar rolls out, bumping the referee in the process.

Lesnar sends him into the corner and Angle tries a sunset flip but stops before going down, wrapping his legs around Brock’s neck in a choke before putting on another ankle lock. Lesnar eventually taps but there’s no referee so here’s Vince with a chair to Angle’s back to break the hold. Brock gets to his one good foot and hits a pretty awesome one legged F5 for a delayed two. Vince demands another F5 but Angle counters into the ankle lock. Brock grabs the rope but again Angle pulls him to the middle for no break. Brock grabs all four bottom ropes but the referee doesn’t break it, forcing Brock to tap out.

Rating: B. It’s a good match but the ending never worked for me. At the end of the day, if you touch the ropes the hold is supposed to be broken. That’s wrestling 101, but for some reason it doesn’t count at the end of this match. The match was good but it was overbooked when you have these two being able to own whatever ring they’re in. The Vince stuff was annoying but that’s what you have to expect in WWE.

Post match Vince tries to jump Angle again but gets Angle Slammed through a chair for his efforts. And on Vince’s birthday too.

Goldberg is listening to an iPod to get ready. That’s such a wrong image.

Some Arizona Diamondbacks are here.

We recap Kane vs. RVD. They had been friends and tag champions but Kane lost a match to HHH, forcing him to unmask. This unleashed Kane’s inner demons for the 10^th time or so, turning him into a psycho who lit JR on fire. Kane swore everyone was laughing at him even though RVD told him everything was fine. Kane beat up RVD in a match and tombstoned Linda McMahon on a stage to start his feud with Shane, leading to a rematch with Rob here tonight.

Kane vs. Rob Van Dam

Fink says this is No Holds Barred. So does that make Kane Zeus? JR calls Kane an inbred mongrel dog, which isn’t that high up on his list of sayings. Van Dam fires off right hands to start but Kane takes him to the floor with a few uppercuts. Kane charges into a boot and gets kicked in the face to put the monster down. Kane easily slugs him down and pulls out a ladder. Van Dam manages to smash the end of it to drive the ladder into Kane’s face, only to have Rolling Thunder caught by the throat.

RVD kicks out of the chokeslam but gets knocked out to the floor as the brawl continues. Kane sends him into the steps and is in full on monster mode. Back in and Van Dam scores with a kick and some shoulders to the ribs for two. Rob goes up top but gets shoved down onto the barricade to give Kane control again. A ladder to the face gets two back in the ring and a big clothesline puts Van Dam down again.

We hit the slow motion part of the match as Kane pounds on Van Dam very slowly to stop the crowd from being interested. Van Dam is backdropped to the floor but Kane badly botches the top rope clothesline, nearly falling on his head and dying. Kane avoids another ladder shot and DDTs Van Dam on he floor, only to have Rob catch a charging Kane in a drop toehold to send him face first into the steps. Kane is kicked into the crowd and crotched as he tries to come back to ringside.

Van Dam’s spin kick off the apron puts Kane down again as this match just keeps going. Back in and Rolling Thunder onto the chair crushes Kane but Rob can’t follow up. Kane sits up but gets caught by a Van Daminator. Rob loads up the Van Terminator but Kane rolls away at the last second. They head to the floor and Kane tombstones Rob onto the steps, killing him dead for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was an ok brawl but it went on WAY too long. At the end of the day this was just a rest stop on the way to Kane vs. Shane next month which was probably the more interesting feud anyway. The match was Van Dam trying his best but not being able to keep Kane down. It certainly wasn’t a squash but it wasn’t many steps above one.

Eric is annoyed that Terri is asking him questions. Linda comes in and slaps Bischoff in the face.

HHH looks at the world title.

The Chamber is lowered.

We recap the world title match. There isn’t much to this other than HHH is injured and can’t fight Goldberg one on one so we get an Elimination Chamber instead. Goldberg is in for obvious reasons, Jericho and Nash have been feuding lately, Orton is there to give HHH a hand and Shawn is there for past issues with HHH. This gets the music video treatment, set to St. Anger by Metallica.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Kevin Nash vs. Goldberg vs. Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton

After about 12 minutes of entrances we start with Shawn vs. Jericho, who will go for three minutes. After that time is up, a pod will open to release another wrestler. Three more minutes and another pod opens. This repeats until everyone is in and it’s last man standing wins. Eliminations can occur at any time and have to take place in the ring, not on the cage floor outside the ring next to the pods. They trade hammerlocks to start until Jericho rolls through a cross body for two.

They trade chain wrestling moves into a pinfall reversal sequence as the fans chant for Goldberg. Back up and Shawn slaps him in the face before backdropping him down. Jericho’s Walls attempt is countered into a small package for two but Jericho comes back with a bulldog to take Shawn down. JR screws up the world title continuity by saying the title has only changed hands once in Phoenix, but that’s the other world title. Not that it matters to WWE but they make such a big deal about the continuity that it’s worth pointing out.

Anyway Orton is #3 and gets two off a high cross to Shawn. Michaels is clotheslined to the cage floor but he comes back in to pound away on Jericho. Randy dropkicks him down and stomps Jericho down against the ropes but can’t RKO Shawn. Instead Orton is sent to the cage floor by a combined effort, only to have Jericho put Shawn in the Walls. Kevin Nash is in at #4 to make the save and go after Jericho as Shawn and Orton brawl in the ring. Jericho’s face is rubbed against the cage to give us our first blood.

Nash (with short blonde hair here for a movie) cleans house but walks into a superkick into a rollup for the pin by Jericho. Nash was in there about two minutes or so. HHH is #5 but Shawn superkicks him before he can get out of the pod to make sure the injured champion doesn’t have to do much. Nash lays out Jericho, Orton and Shawn with Jackknives, leaving everyone down for a massive dead spot. Shawn is busted as well.

They finally get back up to slug it out as JR talks about Oklahoma for no apparent reason. Here’s Goldberg at #6 to FINALLY wake the crowd up a bit. He cleans house and clotheslines Jericho and Shawn down before spearing Orton down for the pin, leaving us with four. Jericho hits a quick missile dropkick for two on Goldberg but he launches Chris into the cage to put him back down.

Goldberg sends Shawn into the corner before spearing Jericho through the glass pod. Goldberg is dazed though, allowing Shawn to drop the elbow to set up Sweet Chin Music. This is Goldberg though so the kick is blocked by a spear and the Jackhammer gets us down to three. A quick spear and Jackhammer to Jericho leaves us with HHH vs. Goldberg. HHH is still in the pod as he’s been in the match for about six minutes now and literally hasn’t done anything.

Flair shoves the pod door closed to save HHH so Goldberg kicks the pod door in so we can actually have a match. Goldberg pounds away in the pod before sending HHH face first into the cage. The champion is busted open but he FINALLY gets in a kick to the leg and sends Goldberg into the cage. Goldberg comes right back with a clothesline and they head into the ring. The spear is loaded up but hits the sledgehammer that Flair slid in, keeping the title on HHH.

Rating: C-. This didn’t work very well and the ending sums up everything wrong with Raw in 2003. The fans were primed for a Goldberg title win, HHH was injured and had no business being in the match anyway, Goldberg dominated the match, HHH literally hit two offensive moves in ten minutes of match time, but HHH uses the sledgehammer to retain the title. Yeah Goldberg got the title a month later, but THIS is the match people remember because THIS is the big show. HHH wins at the big show, the monster wins the next month at the B show. Does this sound familiar to fans in 2013?

As for the rest of the match, there’s nothing going on here. It’s less than twenty minutes long from bell to bell and the three minute intervals really hold this down. No one had time to do anything, making it more like the 1995 Rumble than anything else. It’s just not very good and the ending sucked whatever life it had out of the match. Again, 2003 Raw just wasn’t that good and this match sums up why.

Post match HHH and Evolution gets to destroy Goldberg again with the hammer to really pound in who is the star. Goldberg is handcuffed to the cage so HHH can shove the belt in his face and remind him who the champion is to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. There’s some good stuff on here but the HHH factor drags it down again. I’ve said this a lot tonight but 2003 just wasn’t a good year overall. It’s a bunch of matches and feuds that people don’t want to see but we have the same McMahon nonsense over and over again because WWE is their playground and they can do whatever they like. Over on Raw HHH gets to keep the title FOREVER despite being hurt and having beasts like Benoit and Guerrero waiting in the wings to be the next guys. Did they pan out in the end? No, but at this point no one knew that was the case and HHH got the title as a result.

Ratings Comparison

La Resistance vs. Dudley Boyz

Original: C

Redo: D+

A-Train vs. Undertaker

Original: D

Redo: D

Eric Bischoff vs. Shane McMahon

Original: D

Redo: N/A

Tajiri vs. Rhyno vs. Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit

Original: B-

Redo: B+

Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle

Original: A-

Redo: B

Rob Van Dam vs. Kane

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Goldberg vs. HHH vs. Kevin Nash vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho vs. Randy Orton

Original: D

Redo: C-

Overall Rating

Original: D+

Redo: C

So I liked almost all of the matches more or the same the first time, but the overall rating is much higher this time. Not surprising.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/06/history-of-summerslam-count-up-2003-brock-vs-angle-ii/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Summerslam 2003
Date: August 24, 2003
Location: America West Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Attendance: 16,113
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tazz, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

So Austin and Rock are retired, Lesnar is still a big name, HBK stuck around to shock the world even more, and that’s about it. Seriously, not much else has happened. Cena and Batista haven’t risen to power yet as they’re about a year and a half away from taking over the company. There is a new arrival however: Goldberg, who I wouldn’t call a flop but I’d call him a disappointment.

He’s at war with HHH over the title currently, so that’s your main feud, but of course they couldn’t just have them go one on one, so we get the second Elimination Chamber instead. Your other main event here is Brock vs. Angle in a Wrestlemania rematch. The card looks….ok I guess but a bit top heavy. Let’s see how it is.

Lillian Garcia sings the Star Spangled Banner with the Marine Corps Color Guard on the stage. To say she’s gorgeous is an understatement. They need to do this more often at PPVs. The opening video is pretty good, as we hear a clock striking what I would assume to be midnight and with each bell sound we see a clip of another match. Oh I forgot to mention: Lesnar is a heel again and is working for Vince.

Raw Tag Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. La Resistance

This is as simple as you can get here: the French champions make fun of American so the American team that’s never really been patriotic rally round the flag to fight for the Red White and Blue, despite the fact that the French flag has the same colors but you get the idea I guess. La Resistance are the guys that were the tag team of the year at this time, always holding the belts mainly due to the fact that they never had any opponents of note to face them.

The Dudleys were guys you could just throw into the title picture and it would work though, much like they do now in TNA. Guys like that are great to have because their resume makes them a legit threat so you know you’ll get a decent performance out of them and they make the other team look good. It’s the same thing that Shawn Michaels did in the last year or so.

He was never going to beat Jericho for the belt, but he was a legit challenger that you could count on for a solid match and he can be thrown into the title picture at a moment’s notice and be perfectly credible. That’s a very valuable asset to have. This was also back in the day of the old school tag title belts which I’ve always loved. JR touches on the idea that Bubba and D-Von are related which he kind of brushes off.

The faces are WAY over and take control early on which makes sense. They continue to dominate after a brief heel comeback, but after the 3D a cameraman comes in and hits D-Von with the picture taking machine for the pin. Bubba was too busy counting the three to stop the run in to break up the 3D, so the heels steal it. Post match, the camera guy beats up D-Von, Bubba and Spike who runs in for the attempted save, with the camera. Of course it’s Rob Conway, who didn’t have a name yet.

Rating: C. This felt like an extended TV match to me. It was ok, but nothing you wouldn’t see on Raw. The tag division was pretty much the same for about 5 years and it’s still that way today, with not much of anything of note going on other than the occasional title change. La Resistance was nothing special, but they were ok I guess. Not a bad match, just nothing that jumps off the page at me.

Coach interviews the Dudleys in the aisle, saying that the French were clever. Bubba doesn’t like this.

Bischoff is warming up and Christian talks to him like they’ve never met. Really? Bischoff is fighting Shane tonight for some reason. Christian is upset that he doesn’t have a match and Eric blames his co-GM, Stone Cold. The audio is bad here for some reason and I can’t make out all of what they’re saying.

We see the recap of Taker against A-Train. Basically Vince is hiring all the monsters he can find and Taker is the one he can’t get, so he’s the one that fights them off. A-Train started by attacking Stephanie last month at Vengeance to keep her from beating Sable, who Vince was having an open affair with.

Then, Taker fought back but A-Train kept making him lose matches, including one on Smackdown by pinfall to John Cena. Yes, Cena has indeed hit the FU to the Undertaker and pinned him in the middle of the ring. Anyway, that of course leads to this match.

Undertaker vs. A-Train

Taker’s music with lyrics is just awesome. This is the very end of his biker character though, as he was literally buried at Survivor Series by Kane in a Buried Alive match. I used to get the opening to A-Train’s music and JBL’s music confused. How can Sable be this hot at this age? She’s even hot now with Brock and this is 6 years later. Why is Taker in the second match of the night? Can I get an explanation?

Sable’s chest is EPIC here. Taker still has taped up ribs. Basic big man match for Taker which is probably his specialty: fighting monsters. A-Train was always someone that they wanted to push it seemed but it just never happened. Old School puts the train down.

We hit the floor for a bit and Taker’s back goes into the post as A-Train takes over. Can we just look at Sable’s chest some more? It’s certainly more entertaining. Taker grabs a sleeper of all things but walks into a belly to back suplex as Train keeps dominating. Taker gets out of the corner as nothing but punches. At times it seems like he does nothing but that and his finishers.

After some very basic stuff Taker can’t get the Last Ride and walks into a Derailer (choke powerbomb) for two of course. Good grief this is a formulamatic match. Down goes the referee as A-Train hits a bicycle kick and grabs a chair. It gets kicked into his face for two as we learn a good lesson about bringing a foreign object in. Use AMERICAN DANG IT! Chokeslam ends it clean.

Rating: D. Again, Taker is good at fighting monsters, but it feels like a TV match and nothing more. Why would I want to watch a TV match on PPV when I have to pay for it? It’s ok, but that’s all it is. A-Train was an underused talent, but come on. Taker deserves more than an underused talent, and to be fair he would be put into a title feud with Lesnar starting in the next week or two. Sable was hot as fire though.

Post match, Sable comes in to try to seduce Taker. Taker doesn’t go for that and chokes her until Stephanie returns and beats the heck out of her. Cole says she kicks the heck out of her, but I’m pretty sure it’s only punches. Then again, I’m no professional. Sable and A-Train bail as Cole freaks because of the power in the ring at the moment.

Brock has a new DVD.

We see Jericho stretching in the back as Coach is at ringside asking fans who they think will win the EC tonight. Everyone thinks Goldberg. If you’re going to waste time, I guess you might as well involve the audience.

Hit the recap button for Bischoff vs. Shane. This is REALLY long so I’ll try to summarize it as well as I can. Shane and Kane were feuding because Kane tombstoned Linda. Vince is being a jerk and won’t let Shane fight Kane, so Shane fights Bischoff. Kane saves Eric and helps him win. JR then decides that since Bischoff caused Kane to try to burn JR alive, that he’s going to sue Eric.

Austin comes out and says that JR won’t sue if Bischoff agrees to face someone. Eric, assuming it’s Shane, agrees. However, it’s Kane. For no apparent reason, Kane bails and Eric immediately wins by count out. However, the contract had a clause in it that said that the winner got Shane at Summerslam.

My that’s a fast contract to have drawn up in a matter of minutes isn’t it? Anyway, Bischoff goes to Vince’s house and kisses Linda and it’s implied he either raped her or slept with her with her being willing.

Eric Bischoff vs. Shane McMahon

According to Tony Schiavone, anyone that follows tournament karate knows that Bischoff is a great fighter. In other words, about 4 people know that. Eric gets on the mic before Shane comes out and implies again that he slept with Linda. Eric is cut off by Shane’s music. You can tell he’s mad because he only dances a bit. They’re on the floor inside of a minute as Shane is just killing him as you would expect.

Shane keeps rolling in and breaking the count and then goes back out again and it’s getting annoying quickly. JR references an elevator company, and sadly enough I get the reference. Coach pops up and smacks Shane in the back with a chair. Bischoff gets on the mic and makes it a hardcore match. Bischoff says that since Coach is the best commentator of all time to cut off JR and Lawler so that Coach can do all of the commentary. Yeah, this isn’t going to be bad at all.

What was the appeal of Coach? I’ve yet to ever be entertained by him at all. Without commentary this is somehow more boring if that’s possible. Shane finally wakes up and fights them both off, breathing some much needed life back into the crowd, but Austin comes out to really wake things up. I miss JR screaming about this. Austin can’t hit Coach though unless he’s touched so we get the I’m not touching you joke.

Shane makes Coach touch him though, which I think is illegal in some states, leading to the Austin beatdown. Austin and Shane make a weird team to say the least. Austin thankfully turns the announcers back on, which I hope is illegal in all states. Bischoff slaps him and gets a stunner from the man that he fired via fed ex.

Shane puts Eric through the Spanish Announce Table, which is famous enough to get all capital letters, with the elbow for the pin on the floor. JR calls this coast to coast. No JR, no. Austin and Shane have beers to kill some more time.

Rating: D. This was more like a big angle and it went on WAY too long. There were parts of this where it was just dragging on and on and on. Austin coming out completely saved this as it was an incredible boring segment. Coach is a waste of air and always has been so why would I care about him?

This was just really bad with only Austin being interesting at all. You know, even after this, the problem for Shane is that it’s never known if Linda did anything or not, so what does Shane actually gain out of this?

Of all things, we get a Wrestlemania Recall. Dude, the show is EIGHT MONTHS AWAY. I get the idea of early promotion, but come on now isn’t that a bit much?

Nash is getting ready for the Elimination Chamber.

Flair is with Orton, talking about how HHH will win tonight. Evolution was in a weird stage at the moment as Batista was out with an injury. The real reign of terror would begin in October when he came back.

US Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit vs. Rhyno vs. Tajiri

Eddie is champion here. All four are in the ring and the first person to either get a submission or as Chimmel puts it, catch a pinfall, is the champion. After announcing that, he says it again seconds later in case we weren’t listening I guess. There’s no backstory here that I know of and if there is they don’t cover it. I can’t find any mention of one, so I’m guessing it’s one of those let’s throw everyone together and have them do their best. That can be a great idea at times.

Eddie comes out in a car of course. He would very soon be pushed to the main event and given the WWE Title in one of the biggest head scratchers of all time as he wasn’t a big enough star and obviously wasn’t ready for it, and likely never would be ready for it. Oh so Eddie hit all of them with the belt on Smackdown so that’s our story? Dude, anyone can do better than that. The US Title is just over a month old at this point, so it’s not like there’s time for a real history.

Eddie beat Benoit for it in a tournament final at Vengeance the previous month. It’s funny seeing the table all destroyed with Eddie standing in front of it. It looks so out of place and it’s making me chuckle. It’s kind of cool to think that Benoit and Eddie would both be champions at the end of Mania in 8 months. I love the Rhyno character around this time as he was just completely insane and liked hurting people. I love that.

In other words, he was his normal self. Four ECW guys out there as well, so if nothing else ECW had an eye for talent. I always like the Lasso From El Paso. In a very cool spot, Benoit puts Rhyno in the Crossface at the same time Eddie has the Lasso From El Paso on Tajiri. For one thing, the referee isn’t sure who to check on, but Eddie has a problem. Does he try to win, or does he break up the Crossface to save the title? That’s very smart and I really like it.

Tajiri gets to the ropes though so that’s all over. Eddie gets put in it and it takes several kicks from Rhyno and Tajiri to get him to break it up. Why does ever spinebuster have to contain an Arn Anderson reference? We get it, he had a sweet move. I will always mark out for the rolling German suplexes. Rhyno hits a gore but Eddie is holding the belt which is an old and classic move. Benoit and Tajiri fight to the floor which allows Eddie to steal the pin with the Frog Splash.

Rating: B-. To me, this is perfect for a PPV title defense for a new champion. It looks challenging, he gets a clean pin over an opponent, it’s about 11 minutes long, and two guys save face, allowing them to challenge for the title in the future because they didn’t get pinned. The wrestling was fine, but as is the problem with multi-man matches, it can get hard to follow. Either way, this was fine and a great way to really start Eddie’s reign.

Shawn Michaels is in a hallway getting ready. I guess that’s better than being in a closet.

Metallica is doing the theme song, with St. Anger. Still not sure if I like that album or not. The song is good, but I’m not sold on it. It’s certainly not bad, but I’m not sure if it is good enough for Metallica.

Lesnar has been a monster lately and this past Thursday he beat up Zach Gowen, and for those of you that don’t know, he had one leg. He broke his leg apparently. Gowen was supposed to fight Matt Hardy on Heat, so Matt declared himself the winner. Matt saying that real wrestlers fight through injuries absolutely cracked me up.

We get the recap of the Angle/Lesnar feud, which they more or less say has only happened over the course of a month and not 8 months, which is the real case. Angle was a heel back then so I guess that’s why. Angle won the title at Vengeance as a face but it was a triple threat. Kurt and Brock formed kind of a super team in between the shows as Angle said Brock helped him through his injury. After he agreed to the title match though, Lesnar turned heel in a complicated angle.

Vince said that Brock had to earn the title shot, but he would have to beat Vince in a cage match to earn it. Ok, that makes little sense on Vince’s part so I guess that means everything is perfectly normal. To continue making things odd, he makes Kurt the guest referee. Before the match though, someone attacks him.

Lesnar goes into the match anyway but collapses. Angle beats up Vince but Lesnar is faking and turns heel by beating up Angle. I’m not wild on Lesnar being the heel, but I guess that works. I am glad that he comes out alone though.

Smackdown Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle

They start with amateur moves which I’m always a fan of. It’s just cool to see guys that are so naturally talented at things like that and it’s always fun to watch. This was back when Angle still had meat on him and didn’t look like he was about 200lbs. He was also relatively sane at the time, which is always a plus. In a funny visual, Angle out wrestles Lesnar and sends him to the floor. The Spanish guys STILL have no table.

They have at least a dozen tables for hardcore matches but they can’t loan the Spanish guys one for the night? I’d love to hear how ticked off they are at times. It turns into more of a brawl and Lesnar takes over as is expected. Lesnar’s second press slam is countered into a rollup. I like that as it shows that Angle learns with every move that he uses. That’s a nice little touch that likely wasn’t even intentional at all.

Lesnar busts out a rear naked choke so I guess MMA was always in his blood. We slow it down a LOT as Brock takes over with some standard heel stuff which is fine, but when I watch Brock Lesnar I want to see more than just stomps and chin locks. They keep talking about how Brock won the title last year, which is stupid as I’m pretty sure he’s done more since then. In this match, we get some of the good Angle, as he gets into that zone of his and more or less wills himself to victory.

He continues to steal moves from other wrestlers as he launches into a series of Germans from that other guy. Angle gets thrown over his head as I completely love Brock’s belly to belly and I always have. This review is rather short but as I’ve said many times, it’s hard to make fun of a good match. Lesnar’s shoulder hit the post so it’s hurt as well. Angle counters the F5 into a DDT while making it look miles better than Eddie would at No Way Out.

He pulls the straps down and for likely the first time ever, I’m loving Kurt Angle. He’s much better as a face than a heel to me, but I’m odd in that area. In a very weird thing, Angle puts the straps back up, only to pull them down again. Um, why? It looked very odd to see him do that as he got the big pop for it once so I guess he wanted another big pop? Either way it came off as odd. Ankle lock is on after Brock kicks out of the slam. In a huge twist, the referee gets knocked down.

Angle looks like he’s going for a sunset flip but in a unique move he locks his legs around Brock’s head and I guess uses a sleeper? It looks cool and I could see it working as a knockout hold I guess. From this he transitions to the ankle again and after about 30 seconds and two ropes Brock taps but there’s no one to tap to. I guess Brock is a drunk man? Vince runs out and chairs Angle to break it up as I’m going into a play by play guy which I don’t like doing.

Vince looking around as if to say I didn’t do anything makes me laugh. To just show how much of a freak he is, Lesnar hits the F5 while standing on one leg. To say that’s insane is the understatement of all time. It looks completely sick too as Angle lands straight on his head. However since this is a major PPV, Angle kicks out. Vince’s shirt looks completely stupid. The F5 is reversed into the ankle lock but Brock gets to three of the bottom ropes (called all four by Cole as he’s just a stupid boy).

However, despite him touching the ropes and even grabbing them, Kurt pulls him back and the referee doesn’t count them I guess. Lesnar taps as Kurt Mir keeps the belt. Post match Vince tries to attack Kurt with a chair and in an odd looking bit Vince misses but falls on his back. Angle slam through the chair looks completely sick.

Rating: A-. This was a GREAT match. It was two machines working very hard out there and with the right amount of time they were able to make this something special. Brock would get the title back in a few weeks after an iron man match on Smackdown. This was a very good match all around with Angle having to go to lengths he rarely had to in order to keep the title. Very good match and you should watch it.

We get an ad for Shawn’s first DVD which is also available on VHS. That just sounds odd.

Goldberg is getting ready with IPod headphones in. That makes me chuckle.

I think it’s Vince’s birthday if I’m reading the commentator’s hints right.

We see the first diva search winner, Jamie. She never got a contract which is why you’ve never heard of her. She’s cute.

Recap of RVD and Kane. This came about because Kane had to unmask in a very creepy moment and he blamed RVD for it for no apparent reason. Since then he’s just been a violent big red monster. Van Dam tries to fight him off but Kane just keeps destroying him, leading to Van Dam being tortured.

RVD vs. Kane

Just before the match starts, Fink announces that it’s been made no holds barred. At the time Kane was wearing the singlet top with pants and no mask, so he looks like a freaking moron. Anyway, Van Dam comes out and Kane of course kicks his head in for the most part. The opening half is just about all Kane but Van Dam is able to get some random punches and kicks in, but of course since he’s a main event guy, they work better. I’ve always wondered that.

Why do jobber punches mean nothing while a single right hand from say Austin can stop a guy dead in his tracks? Is it the punch that makes a guy great or is it the guy that makes the punch great? We get weapons brought into the equation and now Van Dam at least has a fighting chance. I wouldn’t call this filler, but it’s certainly not a major match, at least not in my eyes, as it’s sandwiched between the two title matches.

It’s odd to think that RVD has been world champion for far longer than Kane was, twenty two times for that matter. Kane comes off the top with the diving clothesline but misses and hits the barrier which is awesome looking.

This is back when Kane was really quite good in the ring still, but for no reason at all they wouldn’t give Kane the belt in 2002 when he was at his hottest since his debut. Van Dam gets in his usual offense but it was fairly obvious that Kane was getting the win here. RVD goes for the Van Terminator but Kane moves. This leads to the tombstone on the stairs to end it.

Rating: C-. You have a former tag team, no rules, and a violent guy. That should be a solid match wouldn’t you think, especially with two of the bigger names around. This just fell flat to me. It’s ok, but it wasn’t something I wanted to really watch. Some people would probably say it was good and I likely wouldn’t argue with them, but I just couldn’t get into it. I think the placing on the card was bad for this.

In the back Eric is getting iced and Terri asks how he’s feeling. He asks if she’s stupid. This came off as really funny to me when it likely wasn’t that great, but I really liked it. Linda comes in and Eric gets all nervous. She slaps him.

HHH is looking at his title belt. I’ve always wondered if it talks back to him. Flair gives him a pep talk.

The Chamber is lowered.

We get a recap of the first chamber match, including HHH’s legit throat injury. The problem is that we’re never told why these 6 are in this match. We instead get a music video set to St. Anger. From the best I can tell, HHH and Shawn have been kind of feuding, Nash and Jericho I know were feuding, Orton is there because he’s in Evolution, and Goldberg is the next big feud for HHH and his current feud. This is all what I remember and infer from the video.

Raw World Title: Kevin Nash vs. Jericho vs. HHH vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Orton vs. Goldberg

In case you don’t know the rules, you start with six guys, four in the individual pods and two in the ring. After a set amount of time, one of the four are released. It’s pinfall or submission, last man standing wins. Orton is out first, so he’ll be in the pod, as will the next three. I’m 21 years old. That’s how old Orton is here. That’s absolutely scary. Nash, out second, got his hair cut by Jericho on Monday, which in reality was for a movie he was in.

Third is HHH, who I would say needs no introduction but he’s getting one anyway. Flair isn’t with him. Correction yes he is, but just very far behind. HHH was coming off a torn groin at the time so he’s rocking some shorts, kind of like Lashley wears but a bit longer. Think of Cena’s but tights. Goldberg is out fourth so Jericho and HBK will be starting. WWE of course had to change his music, which is dumb because his music was awesome.

The chants have already started. Him walking through the pyro was always cool. JR says that describing Goldberg as intense is like describing the universe as fairly large. Listen here fat boy, I use analogies, not you, UNDERSTAND? Goldberg is also wearing the shorts now and he also looks stupid. I guess it was to avoid looking too much like Austin, which makes sense as he was a pure rip off of him already. The fans are WAY into him.

Orton is just a kid here and he looks almost scared to death. Jericho is next, making Shawn last. HBK is the grizzled veteran here who once again is going for one more shot at the title which would be his storyline going into Mania. The Chamber really does look awesome. There’s the bell and we’re finally ready to go. Jericho and Shawn had the classic at WM 19 so this is going to be good. JR says a coin toss determined who starts. How can you have a six way coin toss?

JR says that HBK dominated the late 80s and early 90s. Am I thinking of a different HBK? The fans are chanting Goldberg so I’m not sure what promotion I’m watching. The announcers do a good job of playing up HBK vs. Jericho as JR talks about the history of the world title changing in Arizona. Dude, you’re either preparing WAY too much or you’re the most bored man in the history of the world. Wait, that’s not right anyway.

That was the original world title, not this one. This belt has only been around about a year at this point, so no it hasn’t changed in Arizona. Are you starting to see why I can’t stand JR? This is probably my favorite period in Jericho’s career. It’s a shame he was turned face soon and feuded with that waste of air Christian. Orton is in third so it’s 2-1 in favor of the heels. I wish he did that cross body more. It’s awesome and always has been.

We get the WOO for Jericho’s chops, which is interesting as Flair is at ringside. I wonder if he considers that a compliment. I’d have to think that he would. Ross is really getting annoying with his repetition of things. Ross calls for Orton to break free of HHH and work for himself. Give it about a year or so there Jimmy boy. They finally go outside the ring and hit the cage a bit and the match instantly gets more interesting.

Shawn goes for…something and Jericho catches him with the Walls. It looked bad as more or less Shawn jumped perfectly for the Walls. Nash is in now as they try as hard as they can to make him sound like a credible threat. Well, he’s been in there 15 seconds and he’s not hurt yet so he can consider tonight a victory of sorts I guess. He has short blond hair here, so he looks completely stupid.

He’s the jobber here as no one, and I mean no one thought he was a legit challenger, despite being the only guy here to actually have beaten Goldberg. Jericho is busted. Nash and HHH had easily the worst Cell match ever earlier this year, ending any credibility that he had left. Apparently Shawn is really close to a lot of people. It’s a shame none of them are named Becca.

Shawn super kicks Nash leading to a Jericho rollup to get rid of him, just furthering the theory that he’s a jobber. HHH is next and in a cool spot he steps through the door and HBK kicks him in the face. HHH falls back into the pod, out cold. Nash, desperate to get injured so he gets more time off with pay I guess, jackknifes Jericho and Orton before leaving. It’s a shame that he couldn’t stay healthy as he’s certainly a decent worker, especially when he’s talking.

He gets a solid pop when he throws his hand in the air, so if nothing else the people still liked him. HHH looks like he’s taking a nap. Shawn is bleeding now too, so at least we’re getting some solid violence in this one. This match isn’t very good. It’s about half the length of the original if even that and it’s just not interesting. All anyone wanted to see was Goldberg and HHH, yet for no good reason, we got this. It’s a novelty and nothing more, and in this case it’s hurting things.

Back in 2002, it was great because it was new and flashy. It’s been a letdown since then and this match is a great example of that. I think a big part of last year being a success also was Shawn’s big moment, which really was cool when you think about it. I’m actually pretty bored right now watching this. I think it’s the lack of drama. Everyone knew that it was coming down to Goldberg and HHH, so why have the other four?

There are a bunch of combinations you could put those guys in, so why have the Chamber other than to bump up buyrates? Goldberg and HHH had the one on one showdown the next month, so it’s not like it was never going to happen. It makes little sense to me and it’s really hurting things because we have to wait 20 minutes before Goldberg is there and another 10 before he and HHH get into it.

What’s the point? Most of the rant is over but I reserve the right to come back to it later on which I likely am going to do. Yeah this is another reason it sucks. Right now and for the last 45 seconds or so, EVERYONE IS DOWN. Literally, we’re watching them lay there and try to get up. Dude I can go to my aunt’s house and watch people lay around and do nothing if that’s what I’m looking for. Why would you have a match based on a lot of action and then do nothing with it?

Who do you think you are, TNA? Of course since we get a fistfight, JR says it’s like Saturday night in some obscure Oklahoma town. Is there really nothing better to do in Oklahoma than get in bar fights and choke in big football games? Oh yeah apparently you can overeat and become the world’s most annoying announcer who does nothing but shout and be a big country boy.

I get that JR is a great announcer and he’s had some masterful moments, but DANG he’s just annoying most of the time. Some of the stuff that he says blows my mind with how annoying it is.

Man I want to just sit here and rant about him for the next few minutes but I guess that would be fairly boring, so instead I’ll continue rambling like this. Oh Goldberg is in and the fans have a pulse again. Good for them. JR says he’s hitting everything with a heartbeat. If that’s so, why isn’t he hitting the camera guys or himself?

Jericho and Shawn commit an ultimate sin and cause a sign of the apocalypse by teaming up to fight Goldberg. Orton gets the heck speared out of him to eliminate him and HHH has been down a LONG time now. Oh he’s up. I guess that’s this being a cowardly heel thing I’ve heard about so many times. I know it’s hard to believe but yes, the WWE does make their heels cowardly from time to time.

In the first really good spot of the match, Goldberg spears Jericho through the Plexiglas. That just looked and sounded awesome. Sweet Chin Music is ducked and Shawn gets speared. I don’t have a Becca joke here. Jackhammer ends him. Just before that he points at HHH and JR says it’s as if he’s saying you’re next to HHH. My oh my what a great phrase JR has coined. How does he EVER come up with these things?

Jericho gets the same combo platter so it’s now one on one but HHH is still in his pod. There’s no way to get him out, so Goldberg kicks and punches the door in. That’s actually really stupid but it was all he could do. Anyway, HHH gets completely destroyed as you would expect. HHH starts coming back so at least this isn’t a squash. The showdown lasts all of 3 minutes though as they go into the ring and Flair slips the hammer to HHH.

Goldberg goes for the spear but he gets a hammer into the head. After the match we get the Evolution beat down. JR says that it’s felonious assault. You know what, that’s so stupid I’m not even going to make fun of it. You Jim Ross, are annoying, plain and simple.

They handcuff him to the cage as JR is saying that they think Evolution doesn’t want to see Goldberg around here anymore. Really JR? Did you figure that all by yourself? Did you manage to tie your own shoes together too? I guess Vince and Linda must like each other since they have kids. HHH poses with the belt as we go off the air.

Rating: D, For reasons already given, this match just sucks and it sucks badly. Actually that makes no sense because it means it’s bad at being bad, making it good. Oh dang it I’m turning into JR. Where’s my Texas shirt when I need it? Anyway, this match was horrible.

It was about two guys and they were together for all of 4 minutes out of 18 the match went for. Last year it was anyone’s to win, even guys like Booker or RVD. This year, we knew it would be one of the two, so why should we care? Add onto that the dead time and Nash and this was just really bad.

Overall Rating: D+. This was really quite bad. There’s one very good match here with Brock and Kurt, but other than that everything is either bad or average at best. I liked the US Title match but for the way it was booked more than the match itself. This show is pretty bad, as was most of the WWE around this time.

Nothing of interest was going on and it wouldn’t until the young blood stepped up and took over next year with Benoit’s title reign and Edge coming back from his injury to fight Evolution. Batista would be back in about a month or so to complete the team, which was both good and bad but that’s a rant for a later time. I wouldn’t watch this again, but Brock and Kurt is definitely worth checking out. Other than that, stay away.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6