Summerslam Count-Up – 2002 (Original): The Classic

IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 2002
Date: August 25, 2002
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial, Uniondale, New York
Attendance: 14,797
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Jim Ross

Another year and more changes have occurred. The main one is simple: the Brand Split. Yes, Raw and Smackdown are now two separate shows etc. However, there is an Undisputed World Champion and his name is the Rock. He’s defending tonight against the greatest rookie sensation of all time: Brock Lesnar. No one had EVER seen anything like Brock and they likely never will. He took the company and the business by storm, winning the shot by beating RVD in the KOTR final.

There were even rumblings that he could actually win the title tonight but that could never happen. What a silly idea. Your other main event is the return of HBK, facing HHH in what is considered a classic. This show is considered to be a rival to Wrestlemania 17 as the greatest WWF PPV of all time, or at least of the new millennium. Now I watched this show a few months after it aired and I remember it being good but not great. Let’s see if this is as good as it’s built up to be.

Oh also, two months prior to this, a new branch of the National Wrestling Alliance debuted: NWA: TNA.

Oh it’s also WWE now.

No opening video this year. That kind of sucks.

Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio

No real buildup here other than they don’t like each other. Given the amount of matches that they have to put together now, that’s the sacrifice that they had to make I suppose. Angle is wearing red and white stripes with a blue star, making him look like a barber pole. This was back when Rey’s knees weren’t falling apart yet and was close to what he was in WCW, which is to say, amazing. This is about as perfect of a pairing as you could want.

Rey is fast enough to wrestle with heavyweights, while Kurt is small enough and versatile enough to keep up with him. Going for Rey’s ankle makes sense as it could ground him and take away his best asset, so what’s not to like? My answer: nothing. This has been a very good match so far. The fans are very hot for this too so that’s always a perk. Rey keeps getting closer and closer here but Angle keeps getting up.

What you have to keep in mine here is that at the time, Rey wasn’t a huge star like he is now. He was a rookie that only had a handful of experience outside of the cruiserweight ranks. Think of him like a better Evan Bourne and think of Angle like Jericho. Imagine Bourne and Jericho opening a PPV and Bourne getting so close every time but just not being able to put Jericho away, but Jericho can’t win either. That’s where you get this match.

These guys are killing each other out there and it’s great, as neither can put the other away. Rey gets Angle on the floor but the referee won’t let him dive. Rey says screw it and jumps over the referee and lands on Angle in a sweet looking front flip (Do a barrel roll!).

619 (which in WCW wasn’t an attack but rather a fake out) and West Coast Pop get two as Rey doesn’t know what to do. Rey goes up top and flips forward to avoid Kurt and goes for a hurricanrana. Angle more or less jumps forward and grabs the ankle. He goes to the middle and just cranks on it until Rey taps.

Rating: A+. Awesome match. That’s the only way to describe this. These two just went out there and did it. This was back when Rey was relatively healthy before his knees just got destroyed. He’s still good now, but back then he was insane. Rey in WCW was the most fun I’ve ever had watching a wrestler.

If you think Bourne is good, Rey from back then would run circles around him. This was as close as Rey ever got to that in WWE, and it was great. Find this match and watch it as it’s absolutely great. Screw it, this gets an A+.

Stephanie is mad that Bischoff is in her office but she agrees to share it with him for the night, as she proves she just can’t act. She does have nice legs though.

Ross and Lawler are talking about the show, but for some reason they had them really far away from the ring back then. It made no sense to me and just looked odd.

Chris Jericho vs. Ric Flair

Again, no backstory. We get a clip from them fighting on Raw, including Flair breaking all of Fozzy’s equipment, but it’s never explained why they’re fighting in the first place. This was when Flair was still fairly mobile and not all old and disturbing looking. He was only 52 and still could be decent in the ring. Being in there with Jericho is going to help as Jericho can wrestle Flair’s style, and is smart enough to know how to wrestle a Flair match.

See, Flair is considered one of the best of all time because he knew what he did best and it worked with anyone. Flair had a formula, and all he had to do was plug his opponent into that formula for the majority of the match and then have the finish. This was exactly what he did throughout his career in WCW and it hardly ever failed. Yes, Flair’s matches are pretty standard, but they’re also pretty good. I mean his stuff from when he was in his prime mind you.

Go back and watch some of that stuff from the NWA in the mid to late 80s and tell me if you can find a truly bad match. Now not everything is going to be a classic of course, but he hardly ever had a truly bad match. On the rare occasions that he did, it was because the other guy wanted to run the style of the match, which traditionally meant Dusty Rhodes. Rhodes was notorious for insisting on having his style of match, which worked for him and him alone.

Go watch their Starrcade matches and you’ll see what I mean. It’s just not looking like a normal Flair match and it just isn’t that good. Granted, this could be because Dusty just was awful in the ring as he couldn’t go for more than 5 minutes without resting. He was lazy on a snapmare in that match. It’s one of the most basic moves in wrestling and he’s lazy with it.

Anyway, the point of this rant was that at the end of the day, the reason Flair’s stuff was bad near the end of his career was the matches stopped playing to his strengths and became based on what the other guy could do. Flair made a career out of taking a guy that was good and making him great by making him look great.

Look at Sting. He was a good wrestler, but his rivalry with Flair is where he got noticed, because Flair made him look great. In WWE, Vince didn’t let this happen and it caused Flair to look bad and the guys that were against Flair didn’t look as good as they could have.

Ok, rant over at least for now. Once I get going in those things I just can’t stop. For some reason we don’t have Flair’s normal music. It’s the weird imitation that he had back in 92. We’re a minute into this match and they’re already talking about how he beat Rock and Austin in one night. My goodness that is never going to leave. It’s a huge deal but good grief let it die. The WOOS are loud tonight.

This is a stat that blew me away. Jericho has been around for a LONG time right? He was 2 when Flair debuted. That’s just ridiculous. Flair has been wrestling almost as long as Jericho, a veteran at this point, had been alive. Jericho calls a spot to Flair in fairly obvious fashion. He just leans over and whispers it to him. It’s scary to think that Flair, at 52, has miles better cardio than most of the roster in their 20s and 30s. This match has been very physical to say the least.

There are so many little things that Flair does that show why he’s great. It’s not a bunch of big impressive moves with a few botches here or there. It’s a simple, basic style that has practically zero mistakes in it. In other words, it’s not about what he’s doing well. It’s about what he’s not doing wrong. Then the little things like getting the referee looking somewhere else to use a bunch of punches. He plays to the crowd well too.

How sad is it that so many people today would be clueless about how to do this? We get a cool sequence where Flair goes for the Boston Crab and Jericho gets a figure four, showing how fairly stupid it is to have finishers like that which almost anyone can do. That’s why I like the liontamer, the one with the knee in the back, more. No one else uses it. Apparently over time the amount of points that the figure four puts pressure on has gone from 5 in Gordon Solie’s days to 7 now.

In a brilliant move, Flair grabs the ropes and taps. The thing is, since the hold should be broken, the submission can’t count. That’s a very smart thing to do as it buys him a lot of time. Referee gets a thumb in the eye, or maybe a short knee (rep for the first person that gets what I’m talking about) allowing Flair to low blow Jericho and put on the figure four. Anyone think it’s a bit sexual looking when Flair bounces up and down while in it? Yeah I never thought that either. Jericho taps.

Rating: B. While not as good as the other match, this was still very solid. As good as Flair is though, I’m not sure I’m sold on him practically beating Jericho, who was world champion earlier in the year, clean. It was a very good match with Flair being the better of the two, but still, it just had me kind of wondering.

Promo for Hogan DVD.

Heyman is with Lesnar and talks about him ending Hogan’s career. Lesnar is a freaking tank.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Edge

Dang 3 matches and 6 world champions. Again, very limited backstory here as they just don’t have the time to do it. As awesome as Edge’s old music was, he desperately needs something more hardcore at this point. He’s rocking the glasses and the trench coat though so you can see the future Edge trying to get out. However, in less than 6 months he’d be out for over a year, so that kind of got put on hold.

Apparently Eddie is upset about Edge being popular and a sex symbol (really?). That’s almost creepy given who Edge would be married to on WWE TV. Just as I say that about Edge’s injury, he might have gotten hurt. He has a bit of a stinger according to Tazz, who would know something about having a Steve Borden. If he is hurt, Eddie doesn’t seem to care at all.

In case you didn’t know, Edge is a HUGE face here and way over with the crowd. Apparently it’s Edge’s shoulder….er neck…..maybe shoulder…..can the commentators make up their freaking minds?? Either way, Eddie is crushing him right now. Eddie is just going insane on Edge’s shoulder, so if nothing else we have a simple story going on that works really well. If nothing else, how can Edge spear someone if his shoulder is killing him without hurting himself really badly?

The main thing of this match is nothing more than Eddie working over the shoulder. Frog Splash misses but after a brief Edge comeback including the Impaler, Eddie hits a splash down onto the shoulder. Of course, because he’s the charismatic face though, Edge is able to spear Eddie without his arm falling off for the pin.

Rating: C+. The ending just ruined this for me. I got into Eddie’s shoulder work, but then when Edge more or less no sold it at the end, it was a total waste in my eyes. What’s the point in working an injury and taking away a guy’s finishing move if the other guy is just going to no sell it and use his move anyway? That was just bad and made me shake my head, which sucks as the match was pretty good.

Tag Titles: UnAmericans vs. Booker T/Goldust

Now this was a gimmick that I thought was very solid. Christian and Lance Storm represent the UnAmericans here, with Test being the third member of the trio. In short: they don’t like America. They were given the tag titles but very soon after this the gimmick was just completely dropped. I’ve never quite gotten why though. Either way, the odd thing here was that Booker and Goldust were also a team, yet they have absolutely nothing in common.

Hearing the announcers try to give them something in common really is quite funny. The fact that they’re both from Texas never really seemed to sink in. Either way, they were a fairly decent team, albeit they were far more comedic than serious, but Booker would be pushed towards the title picture soon and then put into a serious team with RVD, so all is good I suppose.

Anyway, on with the match. Hearing Lawler try desperately to make Booker and Goldust pro-America is rather interesting, as he compares them to the Great American Melting Pot without ever referring to it as such. The USA chants are really loud to say the least, so if nothing else the heels are drawing heat like they’re supposed to be. Ross’ repetition is nothing short of annoying.

Goldust hits a Bossman Slam as I try to come up with a connection between those two and it’s not working. We get a classic ref didn’t see the tag spot which needs to be done more often. It’s as simple of a way to draw heat as there is in a tag match. This crowd is HOT. Booker gets his own chant as he’s clearly the big star in this match. We knew he was a big deal, but they didn’t push him as such until March, when he was fed to HHH.

Oddly enough, HHH had everyone on the planet fed to him until tonight when he let Shawn, his old buddy, have a classic with him. It’s not like these jokes have no basis in reality, but I’ll save that rant for later…maybe. Anyway, Booker finally gets the hot tag to a huge pop. He throws chops at Christian so fast that the crowd can’t WOO fast enough. That’s actually pretty impressive.

Booker hits his missile dropkick which would have won him the world title in WCW but since this is the WWF and Christian is for some reason popular, he kicks out at two. It always amazes me how a finishing move can just lose its power over the course of a year. Booker spins up as Mark Madden gets another ego boost.

The faces dominate for a good while until Test runs out and kicks Booker’s head off to keep the titles for the heels. On replay, we see the referee looking right at Test leaving as Booker is left lying. Yeah that makes sense. The Smackdown tag titles would be debuted in about two months.

Rating: C-. This was about as cookie cutter of a match as you could have imagined. While it’s ok, it’s just ok. Booker and Goldust would eventually get the titles later on in January for all of two weeks. It wasn’t bad, but just not great.

Nidia does some stupid thing at the World, which is the new name for WWF New York.

Eric and Stephanie make some stupid sex jokes.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Benoit vs. RVD

This is cross promotional, so we have two announcers which is both kind of cool and kind of stupid. Benoit and Eddie have been jumping rosters lately, going from Raw where he won the title to Smackdown. The US Title on Smackdown was about a year away at this point, so there was only the midcard title on Smackdown. Van Dam kicks the freaking heck out of Benoit to start, so you know this is going to be physical to say the least.

This was a weird time for these two as Van Dam was kind of replacing Angle in the triad of the midcard. You always had Benoit and Jericho, but Angle was always a step ahead of those two, and eventually as he was phased up into the main event, Van Dam was thrown into the middle of the card more or less as an experiment and I’d say that it was a success. Frog splash misses and Benoit gets the crossface, which he locks on for about 30 seconds.

No tap though as we’re really just getting going. Over the course of the next 5 minutes or so, Benoit gets another two crossfaces on Van Dam who STILL doesn’t tap as we’re entering HBK at Mania 12 territories of not giving up. In a nice touch of comedy (in my eyes at least), Van Dam locks in the crossface, at least I think that’s what it is although he never was one for submission holds, on Benoit.

This lasts all of 4 seconds though as Benoit is the master of it so why wouldn’t he be able to get out of it? I’m not wild on the two matches with focus on the shoulder like this, but in this case it makes much more sense with Benoit’s finisher focusing on the shoulder. I guess with Eddie and Edge it made sense due to some psychology being thrown in, but I’m still not wild about it at all.

In something I never once remember seeing before, Van Dam’s hair tie comes undone and his hair is freely flowing. I’ve never seen that before and I really don’t like it. He looks almost like Tyler Reks with it like that, which works fine for the surfer, but it just doesn’t look right on Robbie V. I’m thinking I forgot a Ross joke here. That’s going to bother me now. The ending here is just not that great.

Benoit has a belly to back suplex countered as Van Dam rolls over onto him and lands in kind of a cross body/splash. In a very nice looking move, Van Dam looks down at Benoit from the top rope with Benoit’s feet pointing to him. He turns in the air and lands a Five Star for the pin and the title. Really not huge on that ending, as it’s just kind of there. There’s not a lot of drama as Van Dam just jumps up and hits the splash and pins him. However, a guy winning a title clean is a very refreshing thing to see. There was no interference or anything. Van Dam simply countered and hit his finishing move to get the pin. That’s both good and bad I guess, but the rest of the match was good so I’ll take it.

Rating: B. This was very intense and well done. It’s probably Van Dam’s biggest win of his career up to that point and is probably one of the biggest of his career even to this day, with the world title obviously being ahead of it. He beat Benoit, one of the best ever, clean. If that’s not validation of his ability at least on one night, I don’t know what is. Very good match though and worth checking out.

Stephanie, with those gorgeous legs showing very well, before laughing for no apparent reason at Bischoff bragging. Not sure what this led to, but it might have been the US Title. Actually that’s not it, as the IC Title would soon be unified with the world title, in one of the biggest head scratchers of all time. It would be revived about 8 months later when everyone realized how truly stupid it was, and THAT would bring about the US Title.

We’re getting ready for Test and the Undertaker. JR says a lot of people want to know who the UnAmericans are, why they’re here, and why they’re doing this. In short: Lance Storm, Christian and Test, they’re professional wrestlers and TNA was a baby at this time and since Vince had more or less created a monopoly there was nowhere else to work, and they’re Canadians that don’t like Americans. Why is that such a complicated thing to figure out?

The UnAmericans carry around an upside down American flag to symbolize how messed up America is. That’s either brilliant or really stupid. They keep saying they hate America, so the American wants to beat up Test. On a side note, William Regal would join them later on. Taker’s punches were called soup bones for no apparent reason around this time, as JR continues to get further and further away from this lovely little thing called reality.

Oh yeah we’re in the Tough Enough era here and Tough Enough 3 was going on. The winner of that was one John Hennigan. You may know him as John Morrison. The other winner was named Matt Cappotelli, and while you may not have heard of him, I was lucky enough to see him in OVW.

He was absolutely awesome and I can guarantee you of this: he would have been either as big a star as Morrison or far bigger. The guy had that X factor to him and you knew he would have been something very special. His retirement speech almost had me in tears. I wish I could find a copy of it.

Undertaker vs. Test

You won’t hear this, but JR says that Test has been living on nothing but potential forever. How true that is of so many workers today. This is part of the UnAmericans vs. everyone else so Taker busts out a hiptoss of all things as he dominates early. The big clothesline hits but Old School is blocked to let Test take over.

Test’s fairly generic big man offense takes over. This is rather slow paced and not very interesting. Taker gets a belly to belly to get out of most of the trouble but an elbow misses. They slug it out which of course Taker wins which lets him get a running DDT for two. Old School connects and the bigger man is in control.

Test’s big boot misses and a chokeslam gets two which is probably the high point of Test’s career. Christian and Storm run in which gets them nowhere. It does however allow Test to get his big boot for two as Test PANICS since the one solid move he knows did nothing at all. He grabs a chair but it gets kicked into his own ugly face and a Tombstone ends it. That was a rarity at this point so it was cool to see. He celebrates with the flag afterwards.

Rating: D. This wasn’t that good. It was certainly more about the angle than the match, and while there are occasions that I’ll make exceptions for that such as Hogan vs. Andre, this isn’t one of those occasions. It’s just not good as their styles were too similar and while Taker is good enough, Test just didn’t care at this point and it shows. Solid angle, bad match, as Test just wasn’t in Taker’s league, ever.

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Taker is just now leaving, so that was an extended celebration I guess.

We start the build for what I think (and yes it’s very debatable) was your real main event. Shawn hasn’t wrestled in over 1600 days. That’s a lot of sleepless nights for Becca. Lawler says that a lot of these people have never seen Shawn wrestle, which means that a lot of people have never heard of home video obviously, or Lawler thinks it’s 1940 and there’s no such thing as taping a match.

In case you’ve never heard it, here’s the basic build for this match. Shawn and HHH were in DX together as you likely know. However, Shawn got hurt and HHH took over DX and became the star that he is today. Now, in the Summer of 2002, Shawn came back for a night, unbeknownst to us, healthy and sober. That night, it seemed to be all about Shawn again, which was unfair to HHH who had actually had a more successful career as far as title reigns and time on top than Shawn had.

That night, Shawn came up with the idea of reforming DX (I want that man shot) and HHH went along with it, or at least he did in the beginning. They do the two words line, but then HHH kicks him and pedigrees him. You can tell this is serious because it goes into slow motion. HHH hits a very weird pedigree as he jumps way too high and it looks like Shawn was countering it with a backdrop.

Anyway, HHH says that Shawn used HHH to get to the top, so now HHH used Shawn to get to the top, which makes even less sense but whatever. Now this is the part of the storyline that I never understood. HHH is cutting the promo in the ring where he says all of that stuff. Ok, that’s fine. A guy gets his attention and says that something happened.

HHH bolts from the ring and goes off to find a bunch of guys around Shawn who is laid out on the ground bleeding and there’s a hole in the window of a car. HHH says he’ll find who did it and when he does, that person is a marked man. Shawn comes back a few weeks later for a satellite interview, and he has the footage from the security camera, and naturally it’s HHH. As I’ve said many times, what’s the point?

For one thing, why wouldn’t it have been HHH? He’s cutting a promo about how he can’t stand Shawn, and since Shawn has been back for all of 2 weeks, why wouldn’t it have been him? Seriously, who else was it supposed to have been? Why wouldn’t they have just shown it being him, maybe ending the show like that, and THEN have the interview where Shawn challenges him for Summerslam? HHH says that he did it to prove a point, which was that Shawn is vulnerable.

Ok, that’s all well and good, but WHY WOULD HE GO ON A FREAKING MANHUNT IF HE DID IT? That makes no sense! What’s the point in turning him heel one week, turning him face for two weeks, and THEN revealing him to be the mastermind for lack of a better term, thus turning him heel all over again? It’s just pure overkill and was absurd. ANYWAY, Shawn says that he’ll be completely recovered by Summerslam. So let me get this straight.

Shawn couldn’t get better from a broken back, which is something that could have paralyzed him, in four and a half years, but if you cut him on the head he’ll recover in less than a month? Are you telling me that all Shawn had to do to completely be healed was cut himself shaving? If that’s the case, Becca might have a fit. This match is non-sanctioned, which Bischoff says means that it never happens. HHH says the logical thing: Oh Eric, but it will happen.

See, that’s my issue with matches that never happen. YES THEY DID! When you erase something from the record books, people still remember the matches themselves. That’s why taking down banners for basketball games or erasing wins is freaking stupid. The games were played, and therefore we’re going to remember who won, who lost, by how much, and what kind of shoes they were wearing.

The match not only happened, it happened in a WWE ring, on a WWE PPV, had WWE commentators and had a WWE referee, but people know who freaking won it! The match DID happen, so what’s the point in saying it’s non-sanctioned? If it was non-sanctioned, then this would be happening in a parking lot somewhere instead of in front of 14,000 people. Since it’s not an official match, why is HHH in wrestling gear?

Does he wear that in his everyday life? Is there constantly a referee following him around to check and see if he wants to go for a pin? Does he think he’s Nighthawk and that he’s competing to become Champion of Wrestling (OCW joke for those of you that have NO clue what I mean)? Are you starting to see how stupid this really is? Just call it what it is: a WWE street fight. It sounds better, it looks better, and above all else: IT MAKES SENSE!!!

They get a full music video before the match here, which actually does show off how great of a match this could be. HHH’s line of “YOU CAN’T WRESTLE ANYMORE!” while as corny as it sounds, actually tells the whole story here in just four words.

That’s the sign of a good promo: it sums up everything simply, without having to use a big elaborate bunch of words to fill in time. All that being said though, the buildup had you actually believing that something special was coming, and for those of you that have seen it, you know that it is. For those of you that haven’t, be ready to enjoy.

HHH vs. HBK

Before I begin, one note that I’m likely to forget. In an interview that HHH gave about Shawn and this match in particular, he says that this was a 45 minute match. From what I’ve seen, it clocks in at about 27-30. That’s a far cry from 45 if my math is correct, but I digress. To say the pop for HBK’s music is massive would be like saying Hogan was a little over.

The flashbulbs are going off all over the place as this is actually a very epic moment. It’s not like Shawn was doing nothing when he left. He was wrestling in the main event at a major show as the world champion and he retained. It’s fairly obvious that he would have gotten at least a rematch with Austin at Backlash and likely have been champion again somewhere down the road. However, it’s likely that his addictions would have caused major problems.

Geez I need to stop these tangents. He gets the mega star treatment which he deserves, including pyro, confetti, etc. He’s actually looking like it’s a non-sanctioned fight, wearing an undershirt and jeans. His shirt says Philippians 4:13, which for you football geeks is what Tim Tebow has on his eye black in every games. For those of you that don’t know who that is, watch some real football, not that nonsense they play in Europe and find out.

For those of you that have no idea what it means, it’s a Bible verse that reads “For I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” That makes a lot of sense for this match. Usually I want the face to come out last and get the big pop, but here I think it’s better that Shawn came out first. Also, Lawler says that no one in history has had more charisma than Shawn.

Not sure about that King. I’m thinking of a guy in red and yellow. He posed a lot, kind of made wrestling what it is today. In an odd fact that you may not know, the man who wears red and yellow, despite many tries, has never once beaten Jerry Lawler by pinfall. They fought dozens of times, but Lawler never lost cleanly to him. SCREW these tangents!

HHH gets the booing to end all booing. You have to keep in mind: HHH is at about the level here that he’s at today, so it’s not like Shawn was coming back to fight Dolph Ziggler or someone like that. He was taking on one of the very best. Shawn is all calm here, even doing the lay on the rope like a hammock thing. I really like that actually, as it plays to Shawn’s laid back persona that he had when he was at his peak.

If he was all serious and angry that would have made sense too, but I think this actually works a bit better. Shawn starts fast, throwing his PERFECT towel in HHH’s face and punching him. Apparently this is due to his Texas pride. What in the world does Texas pride have to do with this? He jumped him. Isn’t that being a bit cowardly actually? Why am I trying to make sense of something JR said?

Shawn starts by throwing punches for the most part, but within two minutes he launches over the top rope with a plancha, followed by more punches. That’s a very smart idea actually. Shawn has been out of the ring for four and a half years. It’s not like he’s going to be the Shawn that was wrestling just before the injury. He’s going to have a lot of ring rust, so punching makes sense.

Also, it’s a good safety advertisement for kids and adults. Since this isn’t an actual match, it’s not actual wrestling right? Therefore, Shawn not doing a lot of wrestling moves is showing that people shouldn’t try this at home. Now it’s ok to punch someone’s head in, but don’t try to slam them. We get weapons brought in, namely the trashcan of death, as JR talks about Shawn’s son watching at home.

There’s a great parenting lesson: if you’re ever possibly walking into a match where you have little to no chance of winning and could be paralyzed because your pride got in the way of your thinking, make sure your kids are watching, because it could be your only chance to look good for them. Sweet Chin Music misses and HHH lands a backbreaker, which Shawn sells like death, opening the main psychology of this match, which was to be expected.

You know, you’d think that after four and a half years his back would be a bit better. Oh, Lawler has used vintage four times inside of 5 minutes. I wonder if that’s where Cole got it. You can almost see the Harley Race coming out of HHH already as he looks just pure evil. Ross says that WWE has nothing to do with this match as I am fighting from rehashing what I said earlier.

Chair is brought in and cracked over Shawn’s back, but since he has HEART, he can kick out of what would pin others, despite it being his weakest point. JR says HHH is 6’4 and a half and weighs 260, despite him being listed as 272 just 8 minutes ago. I feel like I’m watching a Captain Planet parody with all these heart references. DDT on a chair which should have crippled someone but he kicks out with ease, but he’s bleeding.

Lawler says this match may have been the biggest mistake of Shawn’s career. He hung out with Luna, so that’s a big negative there King. HHH gets the sledgehammer as Shawn fights him off. HHH goes for an abdominal stretch which I’m sure has Gorilla Monsoon complaining in his grave. HHH grabs the rope, which I’m still trying to figure out how that actually adds anything to the hold.

Earl Hebner yells at HHH about it and you can tell he means business because he has a mic on him, but keep in mind: this IS NOT a real match. Shawn gets crotched on the top rope as a little bit of Becca’s soul dies. Another chair shot to the back would normally end anyone else’s career, but SHAWN HAS HEART! I know I’ve made fun of a lot of this, but this match really has been good.

I’m rarely a person that can pick out specific things a guy does in a match, but even I can tell that HHH is a master heel. They do a spot where HHH sets up a chair and Shawn is side slammed through it. If it broke then it hurts horribly, and if it doesn’t break then it hurts like the 7th circle of torment. We get probably the 5th spot that would kill anyone else, but Shawn has….screw it even I’m getting tired of that joke.

JR says Shawn is limp. I’m sure Becca could fix that. Ok I’ll try to keep the Becca jokes to a minimum now. Shawn starts his comeback in his comeback match by countering the pedigree. The fans are white hot here, even 15 minutes into this. From out of nowhere, Shawn gets Sweet Chin Music into a chair but Shawn is spent, which makes sense. The psychology is definitely here, as it’s always nice to have guys that actually know how to work the mental side of a match as these two do. HHH is busted.

Ok, now this is just getting ridiculous. Shawn has had maybe 5 moves that would have ended any match with ease, including a DDT on a chair, and 5 minutes later he’s fine? Even Hulk Hogan thinks that’s a bit much to swallow from Shawn. Becca says…never mind. All of a sudden Shawn is limping around again, so I guess I can buy the adrenaline excuse. JR calls the chair shot a Jason Giambi like swing which makes me laugh. Of all the power hitters in history he picks him?

The commentators have a crazy idea: Shawn could win. I get that this is supposed to be his last hurrah, but is it that hard to believe? Ok yes it would have been at the time. The fans want tables, so HHH is put on the most famous one of all time: The Portuguese Announce Table! In a weird spot, Shawn pulls the shoe from one of the commentators, which Lawler says is a heel for a heel as I can’t believe he still has a job at this point.

You can say heel but you can’t say belt or strap? It’s ladder time. DAng why can’t it be wiggle time? HHH gets a solid shot right in the hand with it. In case you didn’t know, this is non-sanctioned. Did you know it’s non-sanctioned? I just want to make it clear that this is non-sanctioned. And last but not least, it’s non-sanctioned. HHH busts out a baseball slide as two things happen: he uses a new move so screw you HHH haters, and I am WAY past my record for talking about one match.

You can tell this is a big match as HHH goes up top. Shawn gets a weird float around sunset flip but he shoves himself off at two because the spot looks bad if HHH kicks out on his own. JR randomly throws in how evil HHH is. That is yet another example of why I love professional wrestling. Where else could someone try to cripple you but just a few years later you’re best friends again and fighting on PPV together?

That must have been one heck of a Christmas card that HHH sent him. “Hey man, sorry about that whole wanting you in a wheelchair thing and the attempted manslaughter. Next time we hit Waffle House, you can get a Coke on me.” Drop toehold into the stairs for HHH and we actually get a realistic looking impact. Why are tables such a big deal? It’s not like they’re that deadly.

Wouldn’t it actually break the fall a bit as you have less time in freefall? Shawn comes off with a splash from the top to the floor with a table, which is just cool looking no matter how long he’s been out. The holy crap chants have started, which is fine as this match is awesome. Correction: this match is greatness. There is a difference. The odd thing about that though is that this is really just an extended hardcore match with big names.

They’re hardly doing anything revolutionary, yet the match certainly is great. I think that goes to show just how awesome both of these guys are. They’re taking stuff that we’ve seen dozens of times before but by using storytelling and style, they’re making it look better than ever. Shawn lands the Screw You elbow and bounces up. The old school stomping on the mat clues HHH in to what’s coming and it’s countered into the Pedigree, but Shawn rolls him up to shock the world and win the match.

Normally I would have been for the Sweet Chin Music and the clean pin, but with that we can’t have what follows: HHH drilling him in the back with the hammer to become Satan incarnate. He then does it AGAIN to make Satan look like a baby bunny named Lucy.

Lawler is absolutely losing it in some of the best commentary I’ve ever seen. Ross sounds like any other heinous act, but Lawler is probably at his best ever here. The fans are chanting for HBK, but since he’s not Hulk Hogan, he can’t get up. Shawn is stretchered out as the fans are almost dead silent.

Rating: A+. Holy crap this was awesome. You have to remember, Shawn hadn’t done a freaking thing in nearly 5 years. This would be like Austin coming back and stealing the show and having one of the best matches of his life. Both guys were so on here that it’s not even funny.

Norcal says it’s in the top 5 matches of all time and I’m not sure I can disagree. I might not rank it that high, but dang it was fun. Easily one of the best I’ve ever seen and if you haven’t seen it before, turn the lights out and watch it right now. It’s certainly worth the 30 (not 45 HHH) minutes.

Ok, now I have to bring this up because it was the talk of the IWC around this time. As you know, HHH gets a LOT of criticism for never putting people over and while today that’s complete nonsense, those complaints started around this time and I think that at this time they were completely true. “But KB, he JUST put Shawn over.” Yes he did, but you have to remember that at this time no one, not even Vince himself thought that Shawn was coming back full time.

This was a one off performance and that was it. It’s no different than when Hogan came back and beat Orton and HBK. He had nothing to lose but he didn’t put them over as they needed. It’s no different here. HBK didn’t need to win here, given the circumstances at the time. Yes, HHH put someone over, but he put someone over that didn’t need it. Less than a month after this HHH would be awarded the WHC and after a brief Shawn run HHH would hold it for over 9 months.

In that time he beat everyone and beat them soundly. That right there is where he got the reputation for never putting anyone over, and I think those are valid claims. Prior to this he had won the title at Mania 18 and lost it to Hogan, who was just another nostalgia run like HBK was right here. In other words, for over a year and a half, HHH put over HBK, his best friend, and Hogan, the biggest star of all time.

Starting with the creation of the Undisputed Title in December of 2001 and ending with Wrestlemania 21 almost three and a half years later, the longest HHH wert without being world champion: just under four and a half months. Once the second title was created in September of this year or about 2 weeks after this show until Mania 21 (Batista and Cena winning the world titles): 5 months.

Both of these times he was feuding with HBK for the majority of the time. Therefore, I think there certainly was something to those claims back then that he was either playing politics or hogging the title while refusing to put anyone over, as he was either champion or feuding with HBK.

Since we had an amazing moment, we follow it with a bit that is supposed to be funny. This was the Get The F Out campaign because of those panda lovers.

JR and Lawler don’t think HHH is a very nice person. No valentine’s day cards for them.

Howard Finkel has something to say as we have entered the Twilight Zone. He says that he’s dedicated to the business and while MLB may be going on strike (they didn’t), the fans will always have the Fink. For no reason at all, Trish comes out for this. Apparently….they’ve been feuding?

Like I said in my Smackdown review, it’s kind of awesome hearing Fink’s voice being ticked off. Trish hits on him for some reason. Howard references his rather personal area as my scars are scarred for life. Lillian is behind them and she beats up Fink and leaves with Trish. Aside from having two very hot women appear, this may have been the most pointless segment I’ve ever seen.

We see a promo package on the rise of Brock and how Rock has been training “specially” for this match, which means he’s getting in shape to film the Rundown.

WWF Title: Rock vs. Brock Lesnar

After all that, Tony Chimmel is announcing. Brock’s music is great and Heyman is in his element as the jerk agent. This match was Rock’s very last time being around any title period as he would make one last 3 month run in the spring, beating Hogan and Austin before putting Goldberg over and riding off into Hollywood, only appearing for Mania the next year.

Basically, this was to launch Brock as high up as they could in one match and I don’t think I’ve ever seen it done better. Rock was really just a trophy champion at this point, having no title matches and never really being the focus of the show at all. Since Austin was on hiatus at this point, Rock was all they had left as HHH was busy with HBK. They figured they would roll the dice on Brock and just see what happened.

There’s not a lot to say here other than Brock is destroying him. I mean this is almost an extended squash, with the fans all over Rock. It’s a smark crowd so I’m assuming they know Rock is gone after tonight. Either way, Rock is getting booed out of the building here and the fans LOVE Brock, who was turned face about three months later at Survivor Series. Actually it was a bit before, but it was official that night as Heyman turned on him, making Brock face by default.

Brock puts on a bearhug which I kid you not lasts nearly three minutes. Granted, it’s the hug that killed Hogan off, but DANG that’s a long time. After the nap I was taking ends with them finally doing something, they go to the floor and Lesnar is down. During this time, Heyman gets the worst Rock Bottom of all time through the table. Back in, Rock hits the Rock Bottom and Lesnar kicks out because that’s what monster heels do.

He hits his own Rock Bottom which Tazz calls, say it with me, the Brock Bottom, and yes, it is stupider than it sounds. They trade punches with Rock winning and going for the Elbow but Brock pops up to just take his head off with a clothesline. That was one of the hardest moves I’ve ever seen.

We get a great series of near finishers and counters, but Brock lands the F5 to completely shock the world and win the title as the fans go nuts. The ending is really fast with clichéd lines like the next big thing has arrived. I think they were pressed for time or something here because the show is over maybe 15 seconds after the pin without even a single replay.

Rating: C+. This again wasn’t about the wrestling but what it meant. As I said this was Brock’s big moment and they couldn’t have put him over any stronger if their lives depended on it. He dismantled Rock and made it look easy. Of course they would screw this up royally by putting him with Big Show who would injure him at a house show because he was too fat for Brock to throw around without hurting himself.

Scratch that. Brock could throw him around, but Show just sucked badly at this time. Either way they had no choice but to give Show the belt in an angle that was just horrid as it made Brock look pretty weak. Also, less than two weeks after this the Undisputed belt is made exclusive to Smackdown which I think is what Stephanie was laughing about earlier.

Anyway it leads to HHH being given (literally) the World Heavyweight Championship which Shawn would win at Survivor Series in the first Elimination Chamber. DAng I got off topic again. Anyway, Brock was awesome, Rock put him over and bailed, and Austin was long gone, so Brock is officially a big deal.

Overall Rating: A+. This show is awesome, but HHH/HBK should have gone on last, plain and simple. It was by far and away the bigger story and got more attention. Also, after that match, the fans weren’t spent but they weren’t as alive as they could have been for the title change.

Other than that, I don’t have any issue with this show. It’s solid all around with nothing bad on it at all. I’ve heard it compared to Mania 17 and while I don’t think it’s better or equal to it, it beats anything for second place at least off the top of my head. Highest recommendation all around here.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Summerslam Count-Up – 2001 (2013 Redo): Austin And The Working Boot

IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 2001
Date: August 19, 2001
Location: Compaq Center, San Jose, California
Attendance: 15,293
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

Much like last year, a lot has changed in the last year. For one thing the Monday Night Wars are over and the WWF has absorbed the other two major companies to form the superpower that they are to this day. At the moment though we’re in the middle of the Invasion war, meaning it’s WCW/ECW vs. the WWF. That’s your double main event tonight: Rock vs. Booker T for the WCW Title and Angle vs. Austin (in the Alliance) for the WWF Title. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a WWF themed music video for Bodies by Drowning Pool. That’s still the best live performance of a song I’ve ever heard.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. Lance Storm

Storm is champion and is about to explain why there is no place for offbeat shenanigans around here but Edge cuts him off. Feeling out process to start as they trade hammerlocks and headlocks. A flapjack and dropkick put Storm down and Edge clotheslines him to the floor. Back in and Edge gets two off a high cross as the announcers bicker about the Invasion. Storm drapes Edge over the top rope and knocks him into the barricade.

Back in and Storm works on the ribs with some knees and a front suplex for two. The crowd is very hot tonight. The spear misses but Edge kicks away from the Mapleleaf and gets two off a small package. We see the WWF guys cheering Edge on from the locker room. Edge tries a crucifix but gets countered into a rolling senton for two. We hit the chinlock with a knee in Edge’s back before a backsplash gets two.

Off to an abdominal stretch from the champion but he’s too far away to pull on the ropes. Edge hiptosses out and sends Storm to the apron for a springboard clothesline but Edge catches him in a powerslam to put both guys down. They slug it out with Edge taking over via some clotheslines and a spinwheel kick for two.

Edge-O-Matic gets two and a hurricanrana is countered into a powerbomb for two on Storm. They hit the ropes and Storm rolls through into the half crab. Edge finally makes a rope and puts the same hold on Storm as the referee is bumped. Here’s Christian who accidentally spears his brother, giving Storm two. Not that it matters as Edge pops up and hits the Edgecution for the pin and the title.

Rating: B-. I liked this more than I should have but I’m a fan of both guys. This was a nice choice for an opener as it was very technically sound and gave the fans something to get excited for with a new champion. Not that the title changing means anything in the grand scheme of the Invasion but it’s not like anything really did.

Test says he didn’t turn his back on the WWF but vice versa. He praises the Dudleys and says they’ll take out Spike and the APA tonight. Test will show us what loyalty is tonight.

Chris Jericho calls Stephanie a big sl** and says he’ll beat Rhyno tonight.

APA/Spike Dudley vs. Test/Dudley Boys

Spike has the incredibly cute Molly (looking very good in blue) with him here. Test cost the APA the tag titles a few weeks ago due to them accusing him of being the Alliance mole. Bubba starts with Faarooq as Heyman calls Spike a bully. The Dudleys quickly double team Faarooq with the reverse 3D until it’s D-Von taking him down with a clothesline and back elbow. Off to Test who gets caught in the wrong corner, allowing for the tag to Bradshaw.

A powerbomb is countered by a Test backdrop and it’s back to D-Von to pound away in the corner. Spike comes in with a quick small package and rollup for two each on D-Von but Bubba gets a blind tag and LAUNCHES Spike onto the top rope to take over. Bubba comes in and stomps away in the corner before it’s off to Test to pound on the very pale Spike. D-Von pulls out a table but Spike saves himself from being thrown through it. Back to D-Von for a HUGE double flapjack from both Dudleys. I’m not a Spike fan but he could be in some very impressive crashes.

D-Von misses a middle rope splash and it’s hot tag to Bradshaw who meets Test. Faarooq comes in as well and the APA cleans house but D-Von breaks up the fallaway slam. A powerbomb puts Test down but Bubba breaks up the pin. The Dudley Dog is countered with Spike being launched through the table and here’s Shane McMahon with a chair to knock Bradshaw silly, giving Test the pin.

Rating: D+. Pretty pedestrian stuff here but I’ve seen worse. The majority of this was Spike getting destroyed and very little between the APA and the Dudleys. Test was the focus of this match which isn’t the most interesting idea in the world but at least they were trying. Shane running in is kind of questionable for a match at this level but he’s a loyal owner (of WCW) I guess.

WWF stars congratulate Edge on the title win but brags about getting a European Title match. Grandma calls but wants to talk to Edge. Christian isn’t happy.

Shawn Stasiak comes in to see Debra (Steve Austin’s wife) and thinks he should change his trunks. He was a pretty funny comedy guy who was trying to get noticed at this point but Debra throws him out.

Light Heavyweight Title/Cruiserweight Title: Tajiri vs. X-Pac

X-Pac is holding the more famous title and this is winner take all. Tajiri is the big crowd favorite but both guys are WWF wrestlers. X-Pac uses the referee to backflip out of a top wristlock. Tajiri takes him down with ease and hits a standing moonsault for two but X-Pac rides him on the mat and slaps him in the back of the head. A hurricanrana sends Pac to the floor and a big Asai Moonsault takes him down.

Pac pops right back up and crotches Tajiri against the post to take over. Back in and X-Pac puts on a surfboard but has to let it go to avoid getting pinned. X-Pac misses the Bronco Buster and gets caught in the Tree of Woe, setting up a baseball slide to the face. Another big kick to the head gets two for Tajiri. There’s the Tarantula by Tajiri but it doesn’t last long, as always.

Tajiri loads up a top rope hurricanrana but Pac kicks him off, only to have Tajiri pull him down into a kind of standing backslide pinning combination for two. A German suplex gets two on Tajiri but Pac sends him to the floor for a big flip dive. Back in and the X-Factor gets two and here’s Albert (Tensai, Pac’s stable mate). Tajiri hits the mist on Albert but gets hit low and the second X-Factor unifies the titles (for about two months).

Rating: D+. Well that happened. There wasn’t anything special at all to this title as the Light Heavyweight division means nothing at all and never did, making this a boring match that no one cared about. Foley summed up the division perfectly in a promo in a few months: “X-Pac hasn’t been around in a few months and I don’t think anyone noticed.”

A very confused Perry Saturn is looking for his love, Moppy (an actual mop) at WWF New York. Someone kidnapped her and her face is on a milk carton. This is one of the guys that was a coup in the Radicalz deal people.

Stephanie gives Rhyno a pep talk and she still can’t act.

We recap Jericho vs. Stephanie which went on for months with Stephanie sending Rhyno after Chris, resulting in him Goring Jericho through the Smackdown set. I’d still have loved to see a Jericho/Stephanie on screen romance with them insulting each other so much that they became infatuated with each other.

Chris Jericho vs. Rhyno

Stephanie is at ringside of course. Rhyno runs him over a few times to start but a cross body takes the big man down. A top rope elbow to the head drops Rhyno and a jumping back elbow to the jaw gets two. The Walls don’t work and Rhyno bails to the floor, sending Jericho to the top. Stephanie grabs his foot and the delay lets Rhyno get up and Gore Jericho out of the air to take over.

Back in and Rhyno drops the injured ribs over the top rope and stomps away like a good monster heel would. Stephanie adds a LOUD slap and Rhyno hooks a body scissors to make Jericho scream. Back up and Rhyno hooks an airplane spin of all things to set up a TKO for two. Off to a surfboard with a knee in Jericho’s back but Jericho fights up and gets a rollup for two. A suplex puts Jericho right back down and weakens the ribs even more.

Rhyno goes up top and misses a splash that would have missed even if Jericho hadn’t moved. A double clothesline puts both guys down to give us a breather. Back up and Rhyno charges into a boot to the face and Jericho hits a middle rope missile dropkick. Stephanie finally gets involved by distracting the referee so Jericho kisses her to the floor. The Lionsault kind of hits for two and the fans are surprised at the kickout. Rhyno comes back with a big spinebuster before putting on a Liontamer (not the Walls of Jericho. It’s a different move). Jericho finally crawls over to the ropes for the break but walks into a belly to belly which looks to set up the Gore. Chris dives out of the way to send Rhyno into the buckle, setting up the Walls for the submission.

Rating: B-. I liked this a lot more than I should have as it really wasn’t anything special. Jericho and Stephanie had some great chemistry that it’s almost impossible to not smile at their antics. Rhyno was a fine monster for Jericho to slay to make Stephanie even angrier and the match was better than I was expecting. Good stuff.

Rock torments Regal with catchphrases, sidesteps a charging Shawn Stasiak to send him running into a metal door, and leaves to get ready.

Hardcore Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Jeff Hardy

Rob took the title from Jeff at InVasion but Jeff stole it back on Raw. This is the rematch with the belt hanging above the ring, meaning it’s time to climb some ladders. Van Dam takes him to the start in a wrestling sequence but Jeff spins out into a standoff. Rob scores some kicks but misses a dropkick to give Jeff a breather. Hardy is hipblocked to the apron but he hangs on and does the same thing to send Rob to the floor. A big springboard dive takes out both guys in the first high spot of the match.

Both guys head towards the ladders but Jeff sends Rob into the barricade but misses a dive off the top. Rob drops a leg on the back of Jeff’s head to put him on the floor before getting the ladder. Hardy pops up again and runs the barricade to take him down before the ladder is inside the ring. With the ladder halfway in, Van Dam gets up on the barricade and jumps onto the bottom end of the ladder to send the top into Jeff’s face. Back inside and Jeff dives over Rob to send the top end of the ladder into Rob’s face for good measure.

Jeff drops his legs on Rob’s which is usually a cover but here just hurts. Rob puts him in the Tree of Woe and hits some shoulders to the ribs to take over even more. The ladder is placed on the bottom rope in the corner and Van Dam hits Rolling Thunder out of the corner to crush Jeff against the metal. A slingshot legdrop crushes Jeff against the ladder again but Rob can’t follow up. Jeff gets up first and baseball slides the ladder into Rob’s ribs to send him rolling up the aisle.

Hardy is the first person to go up top but Van Dam runs back to the ring and hits a top rope kick to bring Jeff back down. The ladder is placed on top of Jeff again for Rolling Thunder but Jeff gets back up in time to dropkick the ladder out from under Rob. A DDT plants Van Dam but he rolls away from the Swanton. The Five Star misses as well and it’s time for the slow double climb. Hardy is higher up but Van Dam sends him face first into the top of the ladder and superplexes him off the top of the ladder.

They both go up again but this time it’s Jeff with a sunset bomb to put both guys down. Jeff goes up again and grabs the belt but loses the ladder underneath him. Rob grabs Jeff’s foot but lets go, sending Jeff swinging back and forth. Hardy finally falls onto Van Dam before setting up the ladder again, only to have Van Dam shove it over and send Jeff into the ropes. Van Dam finally climbs up and pulls down the title for the win.

Rating: B. To the shock of no one, this was a solid match. There are certain gimmicks that are tailor made for certain people and it’s ladder matches for these two. It was a good brawl and the fans were way into it as both guys were big fan favorites. It’s not as good as some ladder matches but it still worked very well.

Shane gives Booker bookends made of announce tables. Seriously.

We recap DDP/Kanyon vs. the Brothers of Destruction. DDP had been revealed as the stalker of Undertaker’s wife Sara which was so far removed from his character that it wasn’t even funny. Kanyon and Kane were brought in because a goofy career midcarder vs. Kane somehow evens out Page vs. Undertaker. Oh and they’re both tag champions to make this title for title. Kanyon is US Champion for no apparent reason.

WCW Tag Titles/WWF Tag Titles: Undertaker/Kane vs. Diamond Dallas Page/Kanyon

Inside a cage to make sure the jobbers have no chance at all. The WWF guys have the WCW titles and the WCW guys have the WWF titles because CRAZY! Undertaker’s wife Sara drops the key to the cage down her shirt for safekeeping. The monsters dominate to start, shocking no one at all. Taker pounds on Page and Kane destroys Kanyon until DDP actually gets in a low blow and sends Taker into the cage.

The guys trade off opponents and Kane kicks Page’s head off as Taker destroys Kanyon. Kane powerbombs Kanyon into the corner as Taker rams Page into the cage. A big boot sends DDP’s head into the steel but Kanyon comes out of the corner to take Taker down. He hits a kind of Fameasser out of the corner to take Kane down but the Brothers sit up at the same time. Page and Kanyon go up top but Taker kicks Page down and tells Kane to let Kanyon go. Now it’s the Brothers against Page, two on one.

They take turns with running clotheslines in the corner and Taker hits a sidewalk slam for two. Kane yells at the referee in the corner as Taker pounds Page down. There’s a chain in the ring from somewhere and Taker whips Page in the back for fun. Kane is just chilling in the corner watching this. Taker tells Page he can leave and live, but if he ever looks at Sara again he’s dead. DDP tries to leave but gets chokeslammed off the top a few seconds later. The Last Ride ends the slaughter and gives the Brothers both sets of titles.

Rating: D+. So you the dominant team of former world champions beat a guy who is nothing like the successful character he portrayed a few years ago and his midcard comedic lackey. Thankfully this was only ten minutes long and Sara didn’t look bad. This finally ended Page’s destruction by Taker and Kane once and for all I believe.

Rock is having his injured ribs checked, steps aside to let Stasiak charge past him again, and tells the doctor he’ll be WCW Champion.

We recap Austin vs. Angle. Austin jumped to the Alliance because Vince McMahon was giving Angle too many hugs. Seriously, that’s what caused his heel turn. Angle became the great hope for the WWF and ran through the Alliance to get to Austin, earning this shot.

WWF World Title: Steve Austin vs. Kurt Angle

Angle jumps Austin in the aisle and the fight is on fast. This was an interesting characteristic for Austin: despite turning heel, he was still basically the same guy. He would fight anyone that challenged him and would go straight at them every time. That’s very rare to see in a turning wrestler, but Austin is a very rare kind of wrestler. The brawl stars in the aisle before they head into the ring for the bell.

The champion is in control in the corner but Angle clotheslines him down to take over. A cross body gets two for Kurt but Austin heads after the knee to get control. That involves going to the mat though and Angle picks the ankle for the ankle lock but Austin makes the rope. Steve sends Angle into the barricade to put Angle down again before suplexing him a few times back inside.

As he tries for his fourth suplex in a row though, Angle reverses into the Rolling German Suplexes to stagger the champion. Kurt hits a remarkable SEVEN straight suplexes to put Austin down, but the Angle Slam is escaped and Austin pokes Kurt in the eye. Austin nails a superplex and there’s a Stunner out of nowhere for two. A second Stunner hits but Angle falls out to the floor. Austin sends him into the post to bust the challenger open then does it again for good measure.

Back inside though, all of that beating just gets two. Since it didn’t work, Austin sends him to the post again to bust Angle open even more. Austin goes to drop Angle onto the announce table but Angle slides down his back and sends Steve over the barricade and into the crowd, only for Austin to grab Angle and suplex him onto the concrete. Back to ringside and Angle grabs the ankle lock but it doesn’t count out there. Kurt realizes this so he grabs Austin back into the ring to put the hold on again, only for Austin to grabs the rope.

Back to ringside again because we haven’t been there in awhile. Angle hits a release belly to belly suplex followed by a belly to back. We head back in and Angle actually hits his moonsault for a VERY close two. Austin grabs a Million Dollar Dream, his old finishing move, but Angle climbs the ropes ala Bret Hart at Survivor Series 1996 and Rock at Wrestlemania X7. However this time Austin kicks out but also hangs onto the hold as the psychology of that spot gets even deeper.

Angle finally makes a rope but he’s spent. There’s the third Stunner but SOMEHOW Angle kicks out again. Steve slaps him in the face which only fires Angle up enough for a quick Angle Slam for a very delayed two count. Austin has had enough of this and punches the referee but walks into a DDT from Kurt for no count. Here’s a second referee to count two, only to get a Stunner for his efforts. A third referee comes out and gets decked but Angle hits another Angle Slam. A WCW referee comes out and ends the match with a DQ, keeping the title on Austin and in the Alliance.

Rating: A-. This was a great war with both guys leaving it all in the ring. The match also made Angle look all the greater because Austin couldn’t beat him and had to get himself disqualified. This gave the WWF the hero that it was needing, which is the whole point of this match. Angle would get another chance in the future though, and all it took was kidnapping Austin, threatening to throw him off a bridge in Toronto and throwing him in a kid’s pool.

Angle destroys the WCW referees post match.

JR goes into full I CAN’T SHOT SHOUTING AND SHAKING MY HEAD mode about how Austin can’t beat Angle.

We recap Rock vs. Booker T. Rock came back from making Scorpion King and affirmed his loyalty to the WWF by laying out Shane. Booker is his first opponent because…..well how else are you going to have Austin and Rock as world champions at the same time?

WCW World Title: Booker T. vs. The Rock

Rock has bad ribs coming in due to a Bookend (Rock Bottom) through a table. Rock fires off right hands to start but has to chase Shane around the ring. Booker jumps him coming back in but gets sent into Shane, setting up a Samoan drop for two. Things settle down a bit and Rock clotheslines Booker down before hooking a side roll for two. Rock wins a slugout and sends Booker out to the floor.

They head over to the announce table and Rock gets in a blatant low blow. Now it’s into the crowd with Booker sending Rock’s ribs into the barricade to take over. Back to ringside and Booker loads up the announce table but Rock comes back with right hands. Booker easily reverses a whip into the post and Shane takes off the turnbuckle pad. Back in (finally) and an elbow to the face gets two for the champion.

A knee drop to the face has Rock in trouble and Heyman wants a Spinarooni. JR: “It sounds like something from Chef Boy-Ardee.” We hit the chinlock for a bit before Rock comes back and hooks a Sharpshooter. Shane is pulled in again but Booker gets in a cheap shot for two. A slingshot into the exposed buckle has Booker in trouble and Rock gets two off a DDT. Shane puts a chair in the ring and picks up the WCW Title. The referee goes to get rid of the chair and Shane lays out Rock with the belt. This brings out the APA to lay out the Boy Wonder.

Both guys in the ring are down and Shane is knocked silly. His eyes rolled back in his head while laid out is a great visual. The Bookend lays out Rock but the referee is with Shane so the delayed cover only gets two. Rock’s clothesline and the belly to belly get two and there’s the People’s Elbow but Shane comes back in for the save. Shane gets a Rock Bottom on the floor (eyes open again) and Rock hits the spit punch on Booker, only to walk into a spinebuster. The ax kick sets up the Spinarooni but the Rock Bottom connects for the pin and the title for Rock.

Rating: B. The match is good but I doubt even Booker’s mama gave him a chance in this match. Overbooking the match helped and Booker didn’t look like a jobber or anything but at the end of the day it was fifteen minutes of killing time until the obvious ending. Still though, good match that got stuck being on after a classic.

Rock celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. For a period as bad as the Invasion, this was an excellent show. The world title matches were very good, the ladder match was better than I expected and there was some other nice stuff sprinkled in. Nothing on here is really bad at all and the crowd was hot all night. Good show here and worth seeing if you want a good way to kill three hours.

Ratings Comparison

Edge vs. Lance Storm

Original: B

Redo: B-

APA/Spike Dudley vs. Test/Dudley Boys

Original: C

Redo: D+

Tajiri vs. X-Pac

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Rhyno vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Rob Van Dam vs. Jeff Hardy

Original: B-

Redo: B

Diamond Dallas Page/Kanyon vs. Undertaker/Kane

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Steve Austin vs. Kurt Angle

Original: A-

Redo: A-

The Rock vs. Booker T

Original: B+

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B+

Redo: A-

About the same all around.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/04/history-of-summerslam-count-up-summerslam-2001-summerslam-gets-all-alliancey/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Summerslam Count-Up – 2001 (Original): The Alliance One

IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 2001
Date: August 19, 2001
Location: Compaq Center, San Jose, California
Attendance: 15,293
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

Ok, I know I usually say little is different, but in this case, just about everything is different. WCW in its original form is dead, having been bought by Vince for an insane two million dollars just 5 months prior to this. The Invasion is going on at the moment as WWF is battling the ECW/WCW Alliance. Tonight we have a double main event of Steve Austin vs. Angle for the WWF Title and Booker T vs. Rock for the WCW Title.

Either way, this show is just a complete 180 from last year. Also HHH is injured having torn his quad about 3 months ago. The roster has been more or less put on steroids now with guys like RVD, Booker T, DDP, Rhyno, Tajiri and Lance Storm here now. Oh and Lawler quit over his witch of a wife being fired.

Finally, Austin is top heel now, having left WWF for the Alliance, saying that he’ll have better competition now, which is completely stupid as he’s fighting the same guys he was fighting before the Invasion, but who am I to critique the genius of Vince McMahon and his Invasion storyline?

The angle could have been far better, but there’s been laundry lists of reasons given about why it didn’t work, with the big one being that they didn’t wait long enough, but I’ll drop that before I go into a page and a half long rant. Let’s get started.

WOW. This video package to open the show is AWESOME. It’s set to Drowning Pool’s Bodies, which is still the best live performance of a song that I’ve ever heard. This looks like the opening to a TV show or something and is just well done all around. It looks awesome and is one of the best video openings I’ve ever seen. Actually, here it is.

Intercontinental Title: Lance Storm vs. Edge

A lot of the stories tonight are going to consist of this: WWF vs. Alliance, and that’s what this would be classified as. Storm was the midcard Alliance guy so they gave him the IC belt to help even out the title scene. Edge gets a huge pop. This should be good. Edge was at an odd stage in his career at this point, where he and Christian were way too big of a deal to be a tag team anymore and Edge was clearly on the verge of being a breakout star.

He won the KOTR this year with he and Christian feuded over the KOTR Cup and yes I said Cup. This is very solid for the first five minutes or so with Edge having a completely different style around this time. He would get hurt in I think 2003 just as he was on the verge of the main event push and be out for over a year. His style back then was much more well rounded with more high flying but everything else just about the same as it is now.

Lance Storm has a very odd stomp, as he kicks his left foot forward and then stomps with the right boot. He must be doing something right though as he’s the only wrestler ever, and I do mean only one ever, that could make a half Boston Crab seem like a deadly submission move. We cut back to the WWF locker room to see everyone crowded around a monitor watching the match.

That’s something that could have worked well in the NWO angle, which is what this is a redoing of, and while it’s not as good, I don’t think it’s as bad as everyone says it was. Heyman’s commentary is great as he can play the cocky heel as well as anyone ever on the headset could. Edge starts his comeback as we get a gem of a line by JR: “Powerbomb by Edge. It was a powerbomb.” The more I listen to him, the more I shake my head.

Anyway, they both almost get their finishers but they can’t quite get there. For no apparent reason, Christian comes out and tries to spear Storm but misses and hits Edge which gets two. We get a nice sequence of holds and counters but Edge catches Storm in the inverted DDT which he needs to go back to for the pin and the title. Christian hands him the belt and leaves in a weird moment.

Rating: B. Another solid Summerslam opener here as they were going fast paced and slow paced in a perfect balance. Both guys were working hard and it was a solid pairing that gives you a nice title change that was more or less clean. Good way to get the show going.

Test and the Dudleys are heading to the ring but are cut off by Michael Cole, somehow looking less heterosexual than he does now. Test has left the WWF because he’s tired of being upstaged. The Dudleys left because they’re tired of Spike and his girlfriend Molly getting the glory, so we get a six man out of it.

Jericho says that he’ll beat Rhyno tonight. He also gets some funny jokes in about Stephanie being rather friendly with the men and her plastic surgery.

Spike Dudley/APA vs. Test/Dudley Boys

Molly with the blonde hair and in the blue top is beyond pretty. Just absolutely gorgeous. Test cost the APA the tag titles, leading to this match. The white shirts on the WCW referees just look stupid. They start off with the faces beating the heels up and then Spike comes in. Now Spike reminds me of X-Pac. He tries so hard but his size is just too much to overcome.

Why should I believe that a guy that I outweigh by nearly a hundred pounds can beat up someone that outweighs me by 100lbs? Simply put, I don’t and I never have. He was fine as a cruiserweight guy, but he had no business being in there with big men. I get that it was his gimmick, but I couldn’t stand it. We’ve got tables less than 5 minutes into the match so at least we’re not waiting that long for them this time.

The Dudleys do a double flapjack and they throw him so high up they nearly lose their grip on him. That’s just downright impressive. This is actually a very fast match as the faces take over again for just a bit, until Spike is launched over the top and through a table. Bradshaw nails Test with a Clothesline, but Shane comes in and blasts him with a chair for the pin. Paul’s line of D-Von, get the ambulance makes me laugh.

Rating: C. It was just a short 6 man without much going on. We do need filler though and that’s what this match was. It was a seven minute match and a ten minute segment in total that was just fine. It’s not bad, it’s not great but I’d call it perfectly acceptable.

In the back, the WWF guys are upset over losing the match but they’re all congratulating Edge over winning the IC Title. Christian comes up and announces that he’s gotten a European Title shot tomorrow night on Raw. No one cares, as their Grandma calls. She talks to Edge and hangs up on Christian which gets a solid laugh.

Shawn Stasiak comes into Debra/Stone Cold’s locker room which ticks off Debra. At the time he was just an idiot character that was trying to impress Austin. He says something about his tights but Debra says if he wants to make an impression to go beat someone up.

Title For Title: Tajiri vs. X-Pac

It’s the light heavyweight championship vs. the cruiserweight championship here in a unification match. Actually, upon further review it’s not, and it’s just to hold both belts. Later on they would be split again until there was suppose to be a unification match at Survivor Series. X-Pac was injured so they just dropped the Light Heavyweight Title and replaced it with the WWF Cruiserweight Title. Uh, I guess that makes sense.

Anyway, let’s get to this. X-Pac at the time was the leader of perhaps the most useless group of all time: X-Factor. It was him, Justin Credible and Albert. They did nothing, they had no feuds, they accomplished nothing. Like I said, they were the most useless stable of all time. Oh yeah Pac is wearing just tights now instead of his singlet. Ross talks about how this is the last Direct TV broadcast of a PPV, as no one really cares.

The surfboard is just absolutely painful looking. See, this is how Pac should have been used the entire time. He simply had no business fighting guys twice his size, just like Spike in the previous match. It makes sense and works much better when he’s fighting guys like these. Oh apparently neither guy is in the Alliance, so this is the one real WWF match all night. Oh what a treat for us.

Both guys have educated feet I guess. This has been almost all X-Pac, and since this is one of my reviews and my timing is worse than a broken Boogeyman clock, Tajiri makes his comeback at that very second. Ok, so maybe this is for a unified title. They’re not very clear about it, but based on what the announcers say it’s for a unified title, yet based on what actually happened, it wasn’t unified until about three months later.

The company continues to amaze me with its complete lack of sense. Anyway, they botch the handspring elbow as X-Pac dives onto his stomach like it’s just a simple hitting of the ropes. Albert comes out and gets on the apron, causing the mist to be blown. A low blow and an X-Factor come as the referee is getting rid of Albert to end this.

Rating: C+. Short and sweet here, but overall it wasn’t bad. They were wrestling people that it made sense for them to wrestle and title for title matches are always cool no matter who is in them. Pac would be hurt soon enough and he would be the guy that had to drop out of the Survivor Series match after Tajiri got the Cruiserweight Title. It made no sense, so go figure.

We go to WWF New York and see Perry Saturn as he searches for Moppy. If you don’t know about this story, do yourself a favor and go look it up. It was one of the dumbest and best angles I’ve ever seen.

Stephanie is with Rhyno and says she picked him to beat Jericho because he’s never beaten Rhyno in the ring. Now table tennis, Parcheesi and Chinese Checkers, those are all different stories.

We get a recap of the feud, which was highlighted by Rhyno goring Jericho through the Smackdown set. Now, after that, he suggests a match with Jericho at Summerslam, which makes sense as he’s already gotten the last laugh, so we have to give the face another chance to get even right?

Chris Jericho vs. Rhyno

The editing is odd here as you get the Jericho interview from earlier in the show here. Not sure why they would do them twice like that. Stephanie looks AWESOME in a black leather dress. Her hair being braded/curled isn’t working so well though. Heyman hates Jericho apparently which is ironic I’d think.

They slug it out to start and Jericho is out of his league here. Top rope elbow to a standing Rhyno which is a move I’ve always liked doesn’t do much. Walls are avoided as Jericho has shifted it to wrestling and has taken over. Jericho gets that springboard dropkick while Rhyno is on the apron. Stephanie distracts Jericho to allow Rhyno to catch him with a Gore as Jericho dives at him to the floor and both guys are down, drawing a holy crap chant.

BIG old slap to Jericho by Stephanie which Ross calls a right hand. That’s true but it’s a bit misleading in wrestling commentary. Body scissors by Rhyno which is one of his signature moves I think. I watched a match of his last night and one today and I think he used it in both. He throws in a freaking airplane spin for two. Can’t say he’s typical.

Rhyno goes up for a splash which Jericho moved out of the way from but Rhyno would have missed even if Jericho hadn’t moved at all. Jericho messes up a springboard but gets something out of it anyway for two. Middle rope dropkick gets a cover but Stephanie literally hugs the referee to stop the cover. Jericho kisses her and then hits the Lionsault for a long two.

Spinebuster by Rhyno sets up the Walls for him and they’re better than the ones Jericho tends to use. Gore misses and the proper version of the Walls, as in the Liontamer, gets the tap.

Rating: B-. Solid stuff here as Rhyno was still worth anything at this point. Jericho of course was great as he was on the verge of going into the main event as a heel which worked out pretty well for him I’d think. This was a lot better than anyone expected I think and it was a solid 12 minute match.

Rock is walking in the back and is stopped by Regal. After a fairly boring promo, Stasiak runs at Rock who casually steps aside, causing Shawn to slam into a wall. Rock completes his promo and leaves.

Hardcore Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Jeff Hardy

This is a ladder match. It occurs to me, Hardy has had a more successful career than Van Dam, and it’s almost not even close. Imagine telling someone that back in 2001. They would have thought you were completely insane. At best for Van Dam, career wise they’re about even. Van Dam was a very interesting case. He was clearly the most popular ECW guy and WWF let him be. Yes he was on the heel team, but they didn’t make him evil.

Van Dam’s character isn’t someone menacing or threatening an they didn’t try to make him one. That’s why he was able to come out of it as a solid face: he always was one. Since I didn’t like the way I reviewed the TLC match at yesterday’s show, I’ll spare you the big long list of sick spots here and try to do more general stuff. For one thing, in this match there’s far less of a plan I think.

I’d guess that in the back, they just told these two to go put on a spot fest and that’s what happened. They go move for move with each other for about 15 minutes and it’s quite entertaining. Both guys can use the ladder very well indees, as they jump all over the place and try to one up each other with their big time moves. During the match, Heyman lists off the attributes of Sabu, yet doesn’t say his name. That just struck me as odd.

Were they not allowed to say it for some reason? I can’t imagine it was a copyright issue or something like that. Also, he’s credited as Van Dam’s mentor. I never really thought of him like that. Near the end they do the big hanging spot with Hardy holding onto the belt, which always seemed a bit stupid to me.

He really can’t unhook the belt with one hand? I find that a bit hard to believe. Anyway the ending is Van Dam just shoves the ladder down with Jeff on it and climbs up to get the belt in a rather anti-climactic ending.

Rating: B-. It was fun, but it wasn’t great. The problem with matches like these is that a lot of the spots have just been done before. We’ve seen all of these moves and while they’re cool, they’re not original anymore. Yeah the match was fun and cool, but it wasn’t great like a lot of them were. It’s still quite good though.

In the back, Booker is warming up for his match as Shane comes in with a present. He gives him book ends (like the Rock Bottom rip off of a finisher that he uses) made from the announce table that he put Rock through last week. That’s actually kind of clever.

We get a recap of the Brothers of Destruction vs. DDP/Kanyon. To me, this was an AWESOME story. Basically, we had seen Taker’s wife Sara (who was very hot, way hotter than McCool) being stalked by a guy that we never saw. He’d have tapes of himself inside their house, of her coming out of the pool, of her in the shower, in their bedroom, etc. The key thing was, you didn’t know who was filming them.

Now I’ve heard a lot of varying rumors as to who he was originally supposed to be revealed as, with the most prominent being Kane. However, it turned out to be DDP. The problem was they kind of discontinued the Sara aspect as DDP just kept getting beat up. Eventually Kanyon came in and Kane backed up Taker. They both won tag titles, so we have another kind of unification match here inside of a cage. In other words, it’s a way for Taker and Kane to kill them both at once.

WWF/WCW Tag Titles: DDP/Kanyon vs. Brothers of Destruction

Oh yeah Kanyon is the US Champion at the same time, so we have five belts in one match. Now aren’t you glad they unified some of them? I have to give them this: the WCW Tag Title belts just look awesome. They run down Taker’s history in cage matches, which is pretty extensive. I actually like the idea of pins and submissions counting here. Taker is a guy that needs to just win with a big knockout move.

Just after Taker and Kane get in, Taker grabs the door and slams it shut in a very cool looking thing. Immediately your heels try to go over the top in separate corners. If I were Taker and Kane, I would have let Kanyon leave. It gives you a handicap against DDP, who is the real hated one. Imagine what you could combine to do to him in that situation. Let the slaughtering begin. The heels actually take over for about 45 seconds which surprises me, but of course it doesn’t last long at all.

This is more or less a tag team beatdown. There is a cool moment though once the heels take over again as they’re both leaving over the top of the cage. The Brothers are down and at the same time they sit up. They follow my advice and let Kanyon leave without any problem, only to beat the living heck out of DDP. For a lot of this beating, Kane is just sitting on the top rope and watching.

Taker yells at Page that he can leave and he’ll let him live, but if he ever looks at Sara again he’ll kill him. Page tries to leave but Taker of course stops him and chokeslams him, before the Last Ride ends this. Dang, Sara is rather hot. Also, the unification lasted less than a month as both belts were individually defended next month.

Rating: C+. This was nothing but a double beating and that’s just fine. No one believed the heels had a chance so the match was booked correctly by not giving them a chance. They were completely destroyed and that’s how it should have been. Page of course turned face soon after this, becoming the motivational tooth guy (look it up).

Rock is with the doctor in the back and cuts a promo on the doctor as Stasiak runs at him again, and the same thing happens but this time the camera doesn’t even follow him. He just goes flying over the table as Rock steps back.

We get the recap of Austin vs. Angle. This was actually an epic match, as the buildup was great. They more or less made Angle into a monster leading up to this, having him beat every big name in the Alliance before finally challenging Austin. Austin had turned on the WWF at InVasion back in I think July, nailing Angle with a chair to give the heels the victory and join them in the process.

In the buildup, Angle had just beaten Austin down at every single turn and it looked like this one was going to be domination. To their credit though, the bookers never made Austin look weak. He was the same Austin that had dominated through the late 90s, but they simply made Angle look better. That’s hard to do but it works very well, as it saves Austin’s credibility as well as makes Angle look better.

WWF Title: Kurt Angle vs. Steve Austin

They meet in the aisle as Austin isn’t afraid of Kurt, which I think helps his character a lot. If Austin had just become this little coward, then no one would have bought him as the leader of the heel faction. By keeping him as the tough guy that he always had been, they make the Alliance look that much stronger. For the most part all we have in the first 2 minutes is nothing but punches.

I get why that’s how most big matches start but not two minutes worth. Austin works on the leg which isn’t as odd as you’d think but Angle gets a sweet counter into the ankle lock. The announcers more or less ruin it as they make it clear through their voices that this isn’t it. When I say announcers I mean JR. It’s weird to see Austin being in control for the majority of a match like this. These two are suplexing the heck out of each other, which is just freaking cool.

It’s not often that you see Austin using offense like this but it’s certainly both looking good and working. Angle hits seven or eight in a row, which somehow isn’t the most Austin has ever taken in a row as Benoit once hit I think 13 in a row. That’s just not only sick but impressive that Benoit could keep getting him up as well as he did. Since it’s pro wrestling though, Austin is just fine after a few seconds of resting following that many suplexes.

From out of nowhere, Austin gets a Stunner after about 8 minutes. The crowd has no idea what to think as Austin got it and got it clean. Angle of course kicks out and the second Stunner sends him to the floor. I don’t get why the announcers are so surprised that Angle kicked out. Rock kicked out after about 3 of them at Mania and after about a 20 minute match. Anyway, Austin goes to the floor and just beats the tar out of Angle.

He nearly breaks his leg and it’s Austin doing what he does best. This would have been a standard Austin match in the late 90s actually. See how well this was done? They’ve just turned his allegiance around and now Austin is still what he was before but just working for a different side. They go out into the crowd where Austin hits a suplex over the barrier but doesn’t go down with Angle. Apparently this was the best move ever, despite it being little more than a slam.

Angle counters though and gets the ankle lock on the floor with a downright scary look on his face. He gets it again in the middle of the ring, but he’s in the ropes in all of 4 seconds. Angle is bleeding bad here, like almost Austin at Mania 13 bad. Ok on second look it’s not that bad. Hey, did you know that Angle won an gold medal with a broken neck? Now sure if you’d ever heard something like that.

More suplexes follow as I’m gaining a new appreciation for those things. Angle busts out the moonsault and hits it like Curt Hennig would. Angle is going commando on Austin…whatever that means, but Austin breaks out the cobra clutch, which despite using it at Mania where Ross says that he hasn’t used is since he was the Ringmaster, Austin uses it here for the first time since he was the Ringmaster.

As Angle does the 80s style arm stays up on the third drop, his head is just looking awful. A third Stunner after all that only gets two as the fans are WAY into this. Angle Slam is the counter to the kick, as I continue to try to figure out how the Angle Slam is any different from a belly to back suplex that’s rotated just a bit. Austin hits the referee though after it gets a two as JR is of course, say it with me, FREAKING OUT.

Did you know that JR thought he knew that man? Did you know that? Not sure if you had heard that one or not. Austin low blows Angle and then stuns the other referee as JR is quoting the 25th letter of the alphabet. A THIRD referee comes out and Austin hits him with the belt. Angle hits the slam but JR is SHOCKED that the referee that got hit maybe 4 seconds ago is down. After all that, we get to the odd part of the match.

Nick Patrick, an Alliance referee, runs out, counts ONE time, and then slides out and tells Fink that it’s a DQ. Why in the world would you count a one and then go for the DQ? I thought he was pulling up because he was going to say his shoulder hurt or something like that, but just to count one and then the DQ? What kind of sense does that even begin to not make?

Naturally, Angle goes off on Patrick with the ankle lock, and I have two observations. One: Patrick taps. Why? Does he think that it’s a match and that’s going to make Angle let go or something? Two: Ross, as usual, says that he’s tapping like a drunk man. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? I’ve been around people when they’re drunk and not once have they tapped. The line makes no sense at all and yet somehow the fans have accepted it.

After the match, Ross goes insane again and just babbles on forever about how he knows Austin can’t beat Angle. I know I make fun of Ross a lot, but this was beyond bad looking. This was bordering on embarrassing. Either way, Austin would lose clean to Angle next month after some of the best promos that I can remember, easily the best Angle has ever done.

Rating: A-. This was an awesome match. Austin went suplex for suplex with Angle and they had huge drama going on near the end. Angle took a freaking beating but kept going. I’m not an Angle fan, but there are times when he gets into that zone of his that he is just flat out mesmerizing. This was one of those nights for him.

We recap Rock vs. Booker as it’s just pathetic to really see how much WCW was just stealing from the WWF at the end. There’s imitating and then there’s just flat out ripping off. WCW was doing that later. It was really just bad, and Booker was the worst of them all.

WCW Title: Rock vs. Booker T

Yes, the main event of Summerslam is for the WCW Title. Think of someone that’s very over. Rock is more over. Ross says that the people at home are on their feet. Has anyone ever jumped up for an entrance? Not that I can think of. This is Rock’s first PPV match since Mania as he left to film Scorpion King. Therefore, if you can’t guess the ending of this show, you’re an idiot.

It’s mainly a brawl to start as neither guy has a real advantage for that long. I like matches like that. It makes you think that anything can happen and it can give you a possible hint of what I say makes a match great: not knowing who is going to win. There’s little fun in a squash match, as it’s obvious who is going to win. A good match is typically one where you’re unsure who will win. Now there are obvious exceptions, but for the most part you’ll find that the lack of a clear winner is the better case.

Oh yeah Shane is outside helping Booker about every 8 seconds as can be expected. However, the APA run out and take him out with a sick clothesline by the future waste of air Bradshaw. There’s really not much to say about the match as it’s pretty standard for the most part. Booker is down after an elbow drop but Shane has to make the save since Booker fell asleep waiting on Rock to finish with all of the theatrics, earning Shane another beating.

This is a pretty solid match here though as it’s back and forth with Booker of course being in control most of the match. They fight even more but Booker spins up as Mark Madden continues to validate his existence. If you don’t believe he has a reason to exist, read his column.

I’m sure you’ll be amazed by all the things that he takes credit for, but he’d hate this show. Page had a role in it. What’s his deal with Page anyway? Whatever, it’s not like I’d be able to listen to his explanation. Anyway, as Booker spins up, Rock nips up and lands the Rock Bottom (NOT URANAGE BLAST IT!) for the pin, the title, and Heyman’s heart attack. He poses with the belt to end the show.

Rating: B+. This was a fun match and was great to send the folks home happy. Booker wasn’t going to win and everyone knew it, but they did the best they could with it and it turned out pretty well. It was Rock’s big return and it put the spotlight on him very well. It was definitely good but not great.

Overall Rating: B+. Would have been better to have Austin/Angle go on last, but this certainly worked very well. Either way, we have a good show here with a solid balance of gimmick and regular matches and a fun match to end the show. Austin and Angle is an underrated match, but their match next month was better.

However, I think this show is lacking the one huge match that steals the show which is keeping it from being an all time classic. Definitely recommended though as this is a very good, but not great, show.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – February 27, 2006: They’re On The Right Road

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 27, 2006
Location: Verizon Center, Washington DC
Attendance: 11,000
Commentators: Jonathan Coachman, Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles

We’re just over a month away from Wrestlemania and the show is starting to take some shape. The big story coming out of last week is HHH becoming the new #1 contender to John Cena’s Raw World Title, which could mean some extra long promos without much being said. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the Spirit Squad attacking Shawn Michaels last week, with Marty Jannetty making the save. Marty can have a job tonight, if he joins Vince McMahon’s special club.

Opening sequence.

Here are Edge and Lita to get things going. Edge says Mick Foley’s time is up because it has been a week since Edge challenged him. Foley might have something planned for April 2 but maybe he would rather not waste himself at another indy show or write another book that no one will read. Lita pulls out a pair of tickets to Long Island and if Foley isn’t here, they’re coming to his house.

Cue Foley to say it isn’t that he isn’t man enough to come to Washington DC. It was Edge who lost to John Cena at the Royal Rumble and last week on Raw. Edge was the one who choked, so Edge threatens to choke Foley at Wrestlemania. Foley turns down the Wrestlemania match but points out that he was a three time transitional champion, making him the greatest transitional champion of all time! Edge says Foley will be remembered for three things: having his ear ripped off, being thrown off the Cell and showing up in Vince McMahon’s hospital room with a sock puppet.

See, Foley has never won at Wrestlemania. Yeah he has had his disqualifications and such, but he has never had that classic. Edge is undefeated at Wrestlemania and has had his share of great moments. It’s true that Foley would lose a wrestling match at Wrestlemania, but he would like to challenge Edge to a hardcore match. Lita panics so Foley goes to the back to get some extra incentive. That would be the barbed wire baseball bat so Edge and Lita run off.

Saturday Night’s Main Event is back on March 18.

Tag Team Titles: Kane/Big Show vs. Viscera/Val Venis

Kane and Big Show are defending. Venis strikes away at Kane to start, earning himself a big boot and side slam. Joey tries to shift things over to Jannetty and McMahon but Lawler of all people gets them back on track. Viscera comes in for a Samoan drop and his own near fall but it’s off to Show for the big flying shoulder. A somewhat delayed slam puts Viscera down again and Venis has to make the save. Kane clotheslines Venis down and it’s a double chokeslam to retain the titles.

Rating: D. Another match as we wait around to find challengers for Kane and Show. That has been the case since they won the titles, which is hardly the biggest surprise. There isn’t much that you can do with them, which is a big part of why they have been doing singles stuff for so long. Venis tried as usual though and seeing Viscera thrown around is somewhat impressive.

Ric Flair talks about turning 57 over the weekend and maybe he has one more title run in him.

Shawn Michaels comes up to Marty Jannetty and apologizes for what Marty has gotten into. Marty talks about quitting and getting fired but never doing something like this. He needs to do what he needs to do at the moment though because he needs this job.

Carlito insults Maria and announces that Money in the Bank is coming back at Wrestlemania. Qualifying matches begin tonight.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Rob Van Dam vs. Trevor Murdoch

Murdoch jumps him to start but Rob sweeps the leg and twists it around. A basement dropkick keeps Murdoch in trouble and a kneebar sends Murdoch to the ropes. Murdoch bails outside but Rob’s dive only hits the floor. We get some TREVOR MURDOCH chants as he grabs a reverse chinlock, as the RVD chants take over. The regular chinlock goes on for a bit until Rob sends him into the corner. A running spinwheel kick sets up most of a Rolling Thunder and another kick to the face. The Five Star sends Rob on to Wrestlemania.

Rating: D+. Rob seemed especially sloppy this week but at least they kept it short. These qualifying matches can get a little annoying when they don’t have much drama but Murdoch is someone who is believable enough to make something like this work. At the same time though, there isn’t much that can be done when Rob isn’t exactly nailing his signature stuff.

Video on the Philippines tour.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Candice Michelle

Trish is defending and Mickie James and Torrie Wilson handle the respective introductions. An early Torrie distraction lets Candice get in a wand shot to take over. Some knees in the corner set up the Go Daddy dance but Trish takes her down and hammers away. Candice chokes away on the ropes but Trish grabs a sunset flip. Torrie grabs Candice’s hands, only to have the referee break that up. Trish rolls her up to retain. Not that it matters of course, because Candice’s Playboy cover is unveiled next week, and that’s what really matters.

Mickie is rather happy that Trish won.

Candice slapped Torrie during the break.

Here’s Coach to interview John Cena. Coach talks about how tough of a challenge HHH is going to be but before Cena can respond, here is HHH to interrupt. HHH gets rid of Coach and says that he is the greatest today. Cena talks about how he has been here four years and HHH probably didn’t think he would last two weeks. It’s true that Cena had to work hard to get to the top and now he is here to headline Wrestlemania XXII. HHH laughs it off and talks about Edge and Foley bringing up transitional champions.

That’s all Cena is because he’s just holding it for HHH. Cena is a tough guy, but he’s like Rocky Balboa. He has a lot of passion and pride, but he isn’t a very good wrestler. Rocky always finds a way to win, but this isn’t the movies and Cena can’t beat the bad guy. After that not so great illustration, Cena talks about how he has heard that from a lot of people, so what makes HHH different? HHH says Cena knows he’s different and he can see it in his eyes.

Cena lists off all of HHH’s accomplishments, including HHH being the kind of person who can walk around without the title and have everyone know he’s one of the best in the world. HHH has beaten a lot of names but Cena isn’t on that list. Cue Vince on screen to say that they will be facing off at Wrestlemania but before then, they are going to be teaming together against Kurt Angle/Rey Mysterio/Randy Orton on Saturday Night’s Main Event (with Vince making sure to get in all of the programming information, because he’s a promoter at heart). Good, intense segment, but the SNME announcement felt like it belong elsewhere.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Shelton Benjamin vs. Chavo Guerrero

Non-title and Mama Benjamin is here too. Shelton hammers away and hits a faceplant as Mama seems rather pleased. Or maybe it’s menacing. The chinlock doesn’t last long and Chavo is up with some quick shots to the face. A running headscissors sets up Two Amigos but the third is blocked for a whip out to the floor. Mama glares at Chavo and seems to have more health issues. Back in and Chavo counters a suplex into a DDT but the referee is with Mama. That lets Randy Orton run in for an RKO to give Shelton the pin.

Rating: D+. You know, if you need Randy Orton to help you beat Chavo Guerrero, you might not be the strongest choice for Intercontinental Champion. This Mama deal has crippled any credibility that Benjamin had left and I don’t see it getting any better. The match was short and to the point, though Orton vs. Chavo sounds rather….nothing.

Gene Okerlund is going into the Hall of Fame. The interview highlights alone are worth it.

Shawn begs Vince to not make Marty do this. Vince compares it to the President of France having to do this to George Bush, because that’s still a thing in 2006. Shawn better not get involved.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Carlito vs. Ric Flair

Flair headlocks him over for some one counts to start until Carlito drives him into the corner. A running shoulder puts Flair down and Carlito slaps him in the face. That means a series of chops from Flair and Carlito bails to the floor as we take a break. Back with Flair getting backdropped on the floor but Carlito has to hold his chest.

They head back inside and we hit the chinlock, with Flair chopping his way up. An enziguri into the Flair Flop gives Carlito two but he misses the knee drop. Flair gets in a few shots to the knee but Carlito dropkicks him out of the air. Carlito goes after the leg, only to have Flair sweep him down and grab a rollup (and ropes) for the pin.

Rating: C-. Another short and to the point match here, which wasn’t exactly thrilling stuff. Seeing Carlito take a beating is always nice though and Flair grabbing the ropes for the pin made me smile a bit. It was also nice to have a little drama to the match as you could go either way here, which is often a nice feeling to have.

Here is the Spirit Squad to sing about Marty joining Vince’s club. Vince comes out and talks about Marty leaving before so he must need this job. That brings out Marty, who looks defeated but willing to do what he has to do. Vince knows that Marty needs this job and demands that he get on his knees. Marty eventually does so Vince takes down his pants (Vince: “What are you smiling at Lilian?”), revealing the thong so Vince can deem everything magnificent.

Vince orders Marty to do it like everyone else does and, while Marty seems like he’s about to crack up, Marty gets to his feet and asks if there is another way. Fine enough, so here’s Chris Masters as Vince demands a chair. The Masterlock Challenge is on and Vince adds a low blow before insisting that Marty is going to kiss it.

Cue Shawn Michaels for the save but Shane McMahon pops out from under the ring to chair Shawn down. Vince makes Shane vs. Shawn at Saturday Night’s Main Event in a street fight. Shane makes Shawn kiss it instead and Vince promises to kick Shawn’s at Wrestlemania to end the show.

And then Marty was fired less than a week later and was never seen again.

Overall Rating: C. They have a focus and that’s what matters most at the moment. The show itself was average with some not great wrestling but good segments to advance stories, but the important thing is those stories exist to be built. They have a framework in place for Wrestlemania and you can see where most of the show is going. That’s a rather good sign over a month out and now they just need to hammer in the details over the next few weeks.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – February 20, 2006: It Was Inevitable

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 20, 2006
Location: Sovereign Bank Arena, Trenton, New Jersey
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

Smackdown is done with its pay per view and that means there is nothing left on the way to Wrestlemania. We need a Raw World Title challenger and that will be taken care of tonight as HHH faces Rob Van Dam and Big Show in a HHH Coronation Special. Other than that, Shelton Benjamin gets an Intercontinental Title shot at Ric Flair. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at the end of last week’s show with Edge blaming guest referee Mick Foley for costing him the World Title match against John Cena and beating him down as a result.

Opening sequence.

Battle Royal

Candice Michelle, Torrie Wilson, Ashley, Maria, Victoria, Mickie James

The winner gets a shot at Trish Stratus at some point in the future, so Trish comes out to watch from the stage. It’s a brawl to start with multiple catfights breaking out and Lawler wanting a wardrobe malfunction. Candice turns on Torrie and dumps her, much to Victoria’s annoyance. Ashley and Maria get rid of Candice and Mickie throws Maria out. Mickie tries a hurricanrana on Victoria but Candice dumps both of them for the win.

Rating: D. This was your fast paced nothing battle royal and that’s all it needed to be. Candice winning is fine for now, as it’s pretty clear what Trish is going to be doing at Wrestlemania anyway. They didn’t waste time with this one, but Lawler managed to make me cringe at least twice anyway. That takes talent.

Post match Candice brags about her accomplishments and does the GoDaddy dance while promising to win the title. Cue Edge and Lita to tell Candice (“Toots”) to get out of here because Edge is the one who should be champion. Edge is furious over what happened last week and says that’s what happens to Foley when he messes with the Rated R Superstar. Foley likes doing Jim Duggan impressions about Lita, so Edge wants a match…..with Duggan, which he’ll be getting tonight. Lita wants Duggan out here right now and Duggan isn’t making her wait.

Jim Duggan vs. Edge

Joined in progress. Duggan clotheslines away to put Edge on the floor but Edge snaps him throat first across the top. Now it’s Duggan being sent outside for a whip into the steps, followed by a dropkick back inside. Duggan slugs away and hits the ten right hands in the corner, plus the spinning slam. Lita grabs the foot though and the spear gives Edge the pin.

Rating: D+. In theory that should wrap up the Duggan stuff, which was funny once or twice but got a little annoying over time. Edge getting so frustrated over everything is a good way to go and setting up up against Foley is a promising thing, so hopefully we can get some of the amazing promos the two of them can do.

Post match, Edge asks if Foley saw that. Foley cost Edge his dream so he’ll make it simple because Foley only has one ear: Edge wants Foley at Wrestlemania and Foley has one week to make up his mind. If not, Edge is coming to Long Island.

Big Show talks about how important it is to go to Wrestlemania. He was in the main event of Wrestlemania 2000 and he knows what it takes to get there. Tonight, it’s a chokeslam to Rob Van Dam and HHH to stop HHH from having a chance to be WWE Champion again.

This date in WWE history: Bob Backlund beats Billy Graham to become World Champion.

Video on John Cena going to India. For some reason this isn’t on the Network version.

Kane vs. Chris Masters

They lock up to start and Kane wins a quick slugout. That’s enough to send Masters outside, where he pulls Kane into the post to take over. Back in and Masters grabs a quickly broken chinlock and Kane breaks up what looked to be a belly to back superplex. The top rope clothesline and a side slam drop Masters but he blocks a big boot and tries the Masterlock. That doesn’t work either and Kane tries his own, which is broken up with elbows to the face. The big boot finishes Masters out of nowhere.

Rating: D+. The streak of not so great wrestling continues tonight and I can’t say I’m exactly surprised. What were you expecting from these two? Kane and Big Show continue to forget that they’re Tag Team Champions, which isn’t exactly surprised given how nothing the tag division has been around here for, uh, well almost ever now.

Post match Masters grabs the Masterlock to send Kane outside.

Rob Van Dam wants to go to Wrestlemania. Serious Van Dam is always weird to see.

We look back at last week’s Shawn Michaels’ retirement ceremony.

Vince McMahon is in his office when the Spirit Squad comes in. He’s glad to see them because four of them are going to face Shawn tonight. The one left out tells the others to do it for him. These guys are growing on me in a weird way.

Intercontinental Title: Ric Flair vs. Shelton Benjamin

Benjamin is challenging and has Mama with him. Speaking of Mama, we cut to the back where she is on oxygen and Shelton dedicates the win to her. Flair hiptosses him into the corner to start and that’s a WOO. Back up and Flair hits a running shoulder, followed by some chops to the floor as we take a break. We come back with the Figure Four attempt being broken up with a kick out to the floor. Shelton follows and drives him into the apron, setting up a suplex over the top for two back inside.

A kick to the neck gets two and Shelton’s frustration is setting in. Flair charges into a boot in the corner and a top rope clothesline gives Shelton two more. Shelton tries his own Figure Four but gets kicked to the apron. A springboard back in is chopped out of the air though and now the Figure Four goes on. Benjamin makes the rope and gets outside, where Mama is having another heart attack. With the medics running out, Shelton gets in a pair of oxygen tank shots into the exploder suplex for the pin and the title.

Rating: C-. That’s your match of the night so far as Mama continues to get more attention than Shelton, even as he wins a title. Flair wasn’t exactly doing anything as champion so Shelton is a better fit, even if he has fallen off the face of the planet since Mama showed up. Granted he was almost all the way down before she showed up so maybe it wasn’t the worst thing imaginable.

Post match Mama dances with the title and Flair is all upset.

Video on Stacy Keibler on Dancing With The Stars.

Shawn Michaels vs. Spirit Squad

It’s a four on one handicap match with Kenny hitting a hiptoss into a dropkick to put Shawn in some mild trouble. Johnny comes in but Mikey gets in a cheap shot from the apron, allowing Johnny to kick Shawn in the face. Nicky grabs a chinlock for a bit, followed by Kenny low bridging Shawn to the floor.

The trampoline is set up on the floor and Kenny bounces off of it with a clothesline. Back in and Johnny’s assisted moonsault gets two but Shawn is back with a swinging neckbreaker. Kenny comes back in and misses his top rope legdrop, with Shawn nailing the running forearm. The top rope elbow hits Mikey and Shawn nails the superkick, drawing in the rest of the team to lay Shawn out for the DQ.

Rating: D+. The wrestling hasn’t exactly been hot tonight but this was angle advancement rather than the match itself. The Squad is fine enough in the ring, but it isn’t a good sign when your big draw is having a numbers advantage. If nothing else, it’s kind of a shame after watching these guys do so well in OVW and then get turned into a comedy heel act.

Post match the beatdown is on but Marty Jannetty of all people runs in for the save.

Carlito vs. Nick Burke

Carlito takes the mic from Lilian Garcia and punches Burke down while doing his own commentary. He talks about how he has an idea for Wrestlemania, hits the Backstabber and Rolls the Dice for the pin, then says it’s going to be Money in the Bank.

During the commercial, Matt Striker plugged his profile in GQ Magazine.

Eddie Guerrero is going into the Hall of Fame as well. Yeah that’s as much of a layup as you’re getting.

Here is Vince, who thinks Marty Jannetty should be rewarded for what happened. That’s why next week, Marty is getting a full time contract….if he’ll join Vince’s special club.

HHH talks about how important it is to go to Wrestlemania. He’s that big of a star and deserves to go to the biggest stage.

Wrestlemania Big Time Moment: “This is the biggest match in the history of professional wrestling.”

Road to Wrestlemania Tournament Finals: HHH vs. Big Show vs. Rob Van Dam

Show jumps HHH from behind to start and gorilla presses him without much effort. Rob breaks up the cover so Show chops him away. The beating continues with HHH being knocked outside and chopped into the crowd. Rob is right back with a kick to Show but he catches the spinning kick from the apron. HHH gets knocked down again and we take a break.

Back with Show shoving them both into the corner but Rob kicks Show in the head. The alliance forms to try and knock Show down and they finally put him on his knees. Show pops up with a double chokeslam though and they’re all down. A powerslam plants HHH and Rob is sent outside. Rob comes right back in with a top rope kick to Show’s face to put him on the floor for a change. That leaves HHH to get kicked in the face and the split legged moonsault gets two.

The stepover kick puts HHH down again and the Five Star connects but Show is back in. Rob kicks Show down again but HHH knocks him outside. A heck of a chair shot to Show’s head sets up the Pedigree for two, with Van Dam’s save getting a huge reaction. The Five Star connects on Show but HHH grabs the referee. The Pedigree finishes Van Dam to send HHH to Wrestlemania.

Rating: C+. The ending was inevitable as even Show talked about how it was more important to stop HHH from going to Wrestlemania. They didn’t exactly hide what was going on here but Cena vs. HHH does feel like a Wrestlemania main event. Cena is a star, but HHH is always hanging over the whole thing. Not a bad match, even with the obvious ending.

Post match Cena comes out for the big staredown to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This was a rough sit as there wasn’t much to see until the main event. What matters here though is setting things up for Wrestlemania and you can see a good chunk of the Raw side from here. That’s what matters more than anything else, but it would have been nice to have some better wrestling at the same time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – February 13, 2006: Last Stop

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 13, 2006
Location: Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, North Carolina
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jonathan Coachman, Jerry Lawler

We’re on the Road to Wrestlemania and it’s tournament time. We’ll probably be finding out the finalists in the tournament to crown a new #1 contender, which could make for some interesting moments tonight. The bigger story is the Raw World Title though, as John Cena defends against Edge with Mick Foley as guest referee. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Road To Wrestlemania Tournament Semifinals: HHH vs. Big Show

They’re not wasting time tonight. Show headbutts him down to start and fires off the chops in the corner, followed by the big gorilla press. A stomp to HHH’s hand draws some screaming before Show lifts him up by the wrist. More shots in the corner keep HHH in trouble and he falls face first for a good visual. The big whip over the corner puts HHH down on the floor but a quick pull sends Show into the post. Blood is drawn and we take a break.

Back with the bloody Show hitting an atomic drop and snapping off some headbutts to drop HHH again. HHH slips out of a slam though and hits a quick Pedigree for two. That means some shock from HHH so he tries another Pedigree, which is countered into White Noise. A poke to the eye breaks up the chokeslam attempt but the second attempt works just fine for two more. They fight outside with Show chopping him against the barricade and hitting a hard whip into the steps. HHH gets in his own whip to the steps but gets grabbed by the throat, meaning it’s a double countout.

Rating: C. Show was looking more crisp than usual here and that’s not something you expect to see from him. He’s one of those guys who doesn’t have to do much in the ring and can get by with it due to his size alone so seeing the motivated version is all the better. The ending is annoying, but I think you know what’s coming.

Post match the fight keeps going and Show loads up the announcers’ table. HHH gets in a low blow to save himself and grabs a chair, only to get speared through the barricade in the visual that always works.

Since Shawn Michaels is retiring tonight, here’s the Lost My Smile speech.

Vince is asked about the tournament and announces that HHH and Big Show will face the winner of Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Masters in a triple threat match for the Wrestlemania title shot. Mama and Shelton Benjamin come in with Mama crying about how her son needs to be the new #1 contender to the Intercontinental Title. Vince says if Shelton wins tonight against Eugene, he can have a title shot. Vince: “Shelton, now please get your Mama out of here.”

Lita hits on Mick Foley but Edge has to save her from not knowing anything about Scooter. Foley expresses his love for Jim Duggan but Edge threatens violence if Foley doesn’t call it fair tonight.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Eugene

Mama is here with Shelton of course. Shelton kicks Eugene in the face for trying to bring Mama some Valentine’s Day chocolates but Eugene Hulks Up in the corner. The airplane spin makes Eugene dizzy but he’s fine enough to grab a northern lights suplex for two. Shelton shrugs it off and hits the exploder for the pin.

Post match Shelton promises to win the title next week.

Your next Shawn highlight: the Curtain Call being shown on Raw.

Ashley vs. Torrie Wilson

Candice Michelle is here with Torrie and Lawler says this match is rated PG for Puppies Are Good. Torrie swings Ashley around by the pigtails to start and then puts her dog in Ashley’s face. A high paw to the dog and some spankings have Ashley in trouble but she grabs a rollup for the fast win.

Post match, Candice says don’t worry….because she’s going to be in Playboy this March. Some stripping ensues.

Another classic Shawn moment: Vince yelling at him in December for suggesting that it was time to let Montreal go.

Here is Vince McMahon to make Shawn Michaels retire. Shawn comes out, apparently for the last time, and Vince has a special present: the best music video anyone has ever seen! Actually scratch that as he has the entire roster here to shake Shawn’s hand. Scratch that also as Shawn’s family has been flown up from San Antonio. That isn’t happening either, but Vince does have the Spirit Squad here for a special Shawn cheer. Apparently it’s time for Shawn to kiss a certain part of Vince and then go to the unemployment line.

Shawn doesn’t seem convinced and Vince can’t believe he feels this way. Not that it matters as Shawn just needs to sign the papers and get it over with already. Shawn says this isn’t what he wants but Vince orders the microphone cut off. That isn’t happening either because walking away just isn’t an option. Shawn loves this job and it’s walking away from the fans. Vince says he’s doing this because Shawn has that inner peace that he can’t have.

All Vince knows is that he has an insatiable appetite for life and he wants more. There is all kind of pressure on Vince and Shawn can’t fathom what it’s like to be him. Shawn can make it all better by signing those papers though because Vince hates people like him. The papers are put in front of Shawn but he tears them up in Vince’s face. Vince slaps Shawn and the tables are turned over but Vince walks away, saying Shawn has just opened up his own personal h***.

And now, the historic announcement: Bret Hart is going into the WWE Hall of Fame on April 1. He’s one of those names you need in the Hall of Fame so this is a nice thing to see. Shocking, but also nice.

Road To Wrestlemania Tournament Semifinals: Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Masters

Masters knocks him down to start but gets kicked in the knee to put him in trouble. Rob’s slingshot legdrop to the apron gets two but a monkey flip is countered with a powerslam for two. A running shoulder knocks Van Dam off the apron and over the barricade for another near fall back inside.

The torture rack (I still wonder why no one has ever used that as a regular finisher as it’s not like Lex Luger has wrestled in about twenty years) goes on but Rob reverses into a sunset flip for two. Rob’s springboard kick to the face gets two more and there’s another kick to the face. Rolling Thunder connects but the Five Star is broken up with a crotching. Rob breaks up a superplex attempt though and hits the Five Star for the pin to advance.

Rating: C-. Not much to see here but it’s not like anyone was giving Masters a serious chance of making the finals when Rob was the other option. I’m not wild on the idea of having a triple threat match for the tournament final but that’s WWE for you. At least Rob seems to be back to normal after his incredibly long recovery time.

Jack (Trish Stratus’ date from a few weeks ago) has some flowers for Trish, but finds Mickie James in a Trish outfit and wig instead. Mickie pins him against the wall but he turns down her advances. She then screams for help and Jack is taken away, with Mickie smiling evilly.

Post break Trish comes in to console the screaming Mickie.

Long video on the history between Edge and John Cena.

Raw World Title: Edge vs. John Cena

Edge, with Lita, is challenging and Mick Foley is guest referee. They fight over a lockup to start with Cena taking him down for an early two. Edge bails to the floor and we take a break. Back with Edge hitting a clothesline but Cena grabs the release fisherman’s suplex for two more. The chinlock goes on but Foley yells at Cena for some reason, allowing Edge to get in a cheap shot.

Edge kicks Cena in the ribs and hits a running forearm to stagger the champ again. Cena gets knocked off the top and Edge sends him into the corner, allowing Lita to remove a turnbuckle pad. Foley catches her though and that means an ejection as we take a break (complete with Goodbye Song). Back with Edge baseball sliding him onto the ramp for a crash, followed by the sleeper, with bodyscissors, back inside. Cena powers up and drops him down for the save but Edge gets up top.

That’s countered into an attempted super FU but Edge reverses into a powerbomb for two with Foley catching the feet on the ropes. Edge’s Impaler gets two more and frustration is setting in. Edge sends Cena into Foley by mistake and the STFU goes on for the unseen tap. Cue Lita, with the distraction letting Edge get in a cheap shot. The belt to the head connects but Foley has to be thrown back in so it’s just two again. That means Edge goes up top for a high crossbody but Cena catches him and rolls through into the FU for the pin to retain.

Rating: B-. Edge and Cena are always worth a look but it’s not like this was going to be matter much in the end. The point of this was to set up Edge vs. Foley and you can guess that Edge isn’t going to be happy with how things went down here. Edge needs something for Wrestlemania and the big showcase match against Foley should work just fine. Cena can get a lot out of Edge, but it’s time for him to move on.

Post match Cena leaves so Lita can hit Foley low, followed by a spear from Edge. A lot of shouting ends the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show flew by and you can tell that it’s time to start gearing up for Wrestlemania season. That’s a good thing too as there are only so many things you can do with the lower level stuff before it stops having any semblance of importance. It was a good effort this week with important matches and a high level segment, but starting next week things move up to another level with the Wrestlemania build officially beginning.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – February 6, 2006: My Favorite Kind Of Show

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 6, 2006
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman, Joey Styles

We’re on the Road to Wrestlemania and now it’s time to start getting ready, as there is no Raw pay per view for February. That could mean more than a few different ways to go, but with the title back on John Cena, we need a new challenger and that process can start sooner or later. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening video gets straight to the point: tonight we start a #1 contenders tournament for the Wrestlemania title shot. Makes as much sense as anything else.

Opening sequence.

Maria brings out Edge and Lita for a chat but Edge tells her to shut up. Edge announces that he is facing Cena again next week, because he beat Cena last week. See, Lita did hit him with the title, but no it wasn’t due to her having some feelings for Cena. Edge is smarter than that and promises to go to Wrestlemania as the WWE Champion again. He doesn’t like Maria calling him the former WWE Champion and Lita insists that Maria make it the FUTURE WWE Champion.

Cue Jim Duggan to offer to be the guest referee for Edge vs. Cena next week. Edge doesn’t think so and keeps cutting off Duggan from the catchphrase about Lita. Duggan gets it in anyway and the beatdown is on. Edge gets in a shot with the 2×4 and Lita beats up Maria for a bonus. Cue Cena to cut off a spear, sending Edge and Lita bailing.

Road To Wrestlemania Tournament Quarterfinals: Kane vs. Chris Masters

Kane sends him into the corner to start and drops Masters with a right hand. The big elbow misses and Masters grabs a swinging neckbreaker, sending Kane into the situp. Back up and Kane kicks him in the face for Masters daring to tease the Masterlock. The chokeslam is broken up with a rake to the eyes so Kane kicks him in the head again. Instead, Masters grabs a rollup with the ropes for the cheating pin.

Rating: D+. This was too short to mean anything but they did something nice with Masters only trying the Masterlock. I’m not sure what it means that he has such a one note offense but it makes sense for him here. It was a punch and kick match otherwise but would you want these two to try anything else?

We get some tournament brackets:

Chris Masters

Rob Van Dam

Carlito

Ric Flair

HHH

Shawn Michaels

Big Show

Edge and Lita try to talk Vince McMahon into letting Lita be guest referee. Lita offers various favors, which Vince finds admirable because it means Edge will do anything to be champion. Tonight it’s a mixed tag, with Cena/Maria vs. Edge/Lita and the winning team gets to pick the referee.

Mickie James vs. Ashley

Trish Stratus is guest referee. Mickie runs Ashley over to start but a hurricanrana out of the corner is cut off. Some forearms stagger Mickie but she accidentally runs Trish over. Ashley grabs a rollup for the pin.

During the break, the Spirit Squad gave us a cheer on Raw Unlimited.

Mickie begged Trish’s forgiveness and says she loves her, but Trish’s date, Jack comes in. The glaring is STRONG.

Shelton Benjamin explains to his Mama that he’ll be beating Ric Flair for the Intercontinental Title. He needs to go get his phone, but she is worried about another freak coming in to mess with her. Shelton leaves anyway so here’s Eugene with an action figure to make Big Mama’s House jokes.

Wrestlemania Big Time Moment: Kane beats up Pete Rose. For the first time.

Road To Wrestlemania Tournament Quarterfinals: HHH vs. Ric Flair

Non-title. Flair starts fast with some hair checking and a WOO before hiptossing HHH down. The headlock doesn’t last long for Flair so he unloads in the corner instead. The Pedigree attempt is countered into a backdrop over the top and we take a break. Back with HHH hitting a spinebuster, followed by the Flair style knee drop. Right hands in the corner set up the Flair Flop so HHH hits a delayed suplex. A swinging neckbreaker cuts off Flair’s comeback attempt and there’s the Flair strut.

Flair grabs a rollup and starts chopping away again but charges into an elbow to the face. HHH charges into a boot in the corner and Flair starts going after the leg. The top rope forearm to the head gets two but the Figure Four sends HHH straight to the rope. The ref gets thumbed in the eye by mistake so Flair gets in a low blow (as only he can)….but the Pedigree finishes out of absolutely nowhere. I had to rewind the video to make sure I didn’t miss anything because it really was that sudden.

Rating: C. I’m trying to get my head around that ending because it was one of the most sudden that I can remember in a long time. It’s annoying enough to have the champ get pinned clean but to have HHH just shrug off a low blow and the Figure Four that quickly to win made it even worse. Did they just lose track of time and have to go home instantly or something?

Maria is in John Cena’s locker room and completely panicking so Cena kisses her calm. A quick slap to the back of her tights and a “see you out there” leave Maria looking rather pleased.

We get the full, uncensored GoDaddy Super Bowl commercial featuring Candice Michelle. This is edited off the Network of course, but the advertisement for it at the beginning isn’t.

Road To Wrestlemania Tournament Quarterfinals: Shawn Michaels vs. Big Show

Hold on though as here’s Vince McMahon to say it’s Shawn’s lucky day because Shane McMahon is gone tonight. Last week Shawn said he wasn’t going to walk out on his contract, but that’s what Vince wants. Next week, Shawn can have his retirement ceremony where he signs a contract and walk away with no threat of a lawsuit. That’s going to be mandatory, so he’s out of this match tonight and we have a replacement.

Road To Wrestlemania Tournament Quarterfinals: Shelton Benjamin vs. Big Show

Mama Benjamin is here with Shelton and we’re joined in progress with Show chopping away in the corner. Shelton tries a spinning dive off the top but gets pulled out of the air and sat on top again. That means another set of chops but this time he manages to drop Show throat first across the top. The Dragon Whip doesn’t even put Show down so Shelton goes with a springboard bulldog for two instead.

A neckbreaker gets the same but the kickout sends Shelton flying. Show powerslams him down and hits a running shoulder to send Shelton into the referee. Mama offers a distraction so Shelton kicks him in the head to the floor. Another charges goes badly for Shelton so Mama yells some more and it’s time to tease the heart attack. Show doesn’t matter and hits the chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t much to see but there is only so much that you can do with someone who wrestles like Shelton against Big Show. They did the best thing they could have done here by having Shelton bounce off of him but Mama was getting the focus here, as she tended to do in most of Shelton’s matches. Not terrible, but it just came and went, as it should have.

Post break, Mama seems to have had a heart attack. Oh well, time to move on.

Carlito rants in Spanish about Rob Van Dam.

Smackdown Rebound.

Road To Wrestlemania Tournament Quarterfinals: Carlito vs. Rob Van Dam

Rob is still mad over Carlito making his already injured knee even worse last week so the fight is on before the bell. Some shots to the head rock Carlito as the bell rings, followed by the spinning kick to the back on the barricade. We take a break and come back with Carlito knocking Van Dam for two and we hit the chinlock. Rob fights up for a kick to the face and hits the Rolling Thunder splash, followed by the regular Rolling Thunder.

The split legged moonsault hits knees but Rob is right back with a rollup for two. Carlito’s double springboard flip dive takes Rob down and the Backstabber gets a very delayed near fall. Frustration is setting in so Carlito grabs the chair, only to get caught with the Van Daminator. The Five Star gives Rob the pin.

Rating: C. This was a nice two fold match with Rob getting his revenge and moving on in the tournament. Rob is the kind of guy you can drop into a tournament like this and have him make a nice run without having much of a chance of winning the whole thing. Carlito….well he’s a person who is around here too. Yeah it’s still not working for me and I don’t see that changing.

Here are the updated brackets:

Chris Masters

Rob Van Dam

Big Show

HHH

Edge/Lita vs. John Cena/Maria

The winning team gets to pick the guest referee for next week’s title match. Edge jumps Cena from behind to start and sends him into the post before forcing Cena to tag Maria. With Maria panicking, Edge sends Cena into the steps for a crash. Lita pulls Maria in and doesn’t seem all that threatened as she kicks Maria around and knees her in the ribs. Cena comes back in and starts the shoulders to Edge but Lita breaks up the Shuffle. The Litacanrana hits Edge by mistake so she flashes Cena, only to get speared down by Edge. Maria comes in and steals the pin.

Rating: D+. This was little more than an angle to set up the guest referee and there’s nothing wrong with that. They weren’t even in there for five minutes so it’s not like it had much time to do any real damage. Edge vs. Cena III with a guest referee is fine enough and they got there with Maria and Lita involved. Not too bad all around, even in a not so great match.

Post match Cena says he ran into the perfect guest referee earlier today so here he is: Mick Foley! Edge panics to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. I’m always a fan of these streamlined, “here’s the one big thing we’re pushing tonight plus a little something extra” shows and that’s what we got here. This was almost all about the tournament as the sights move over to Wrestlemania in a hurry. That’s how this should go, as there isn’t anything left to take care of on the way to Chicago. Give us the biggest build possible to get there, which they started tonight. Not a great show, but certainly an efficient one.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – January 30, 2006: The First Step On The Road

IMG Credit: WWE

 

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 30, 2006
Location: TD Waterhouse Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jonathan Coachman, Jerry Lawler

We’re officially on the Road to Wrestlemania and Raw needs to get some stuff done after last night. Smackdown’s Rey Mysterio won the Royal Rumble so we are going to need a #1 contender for the Raw World Title, which John Cena won back last night from Edge. That sounds like the call of a tournament so let’s get to it.

Here is the Royal Rumble if you need a recap.

Edge isn’t waiting for Wrestlemania or Saturday Night’s Main Event because he wants his rematch tonight. He will NOT be a transitional champion. I wouldn’t worry about that, because winning the title from someone and then losing it back to them isn’t being a transitional champion.

Opening sequence.

Here’s a cocky Vince McMahon, who guaranteed that Shawn Michaels’ luck would run out at the Royal Rumble. We look at Shane McMahon eliminating Shawn last night, with Vince wanting some praise for his son. Sure he abused his power a little bit but what’s the point of having power if you don’t abuse it?

Cue Shawn to say maybe he could do the good Christian thing and just quit, but that would mean Vince suing him for breach of contract. Since that isn’t the case, Shawn can just be the old drinking, pill popping Shawn of days past. That isn’t happening either, so Vince thinks Shawn is screwed worse than Bret Hart.

Vince isn’t going to fire him because that’s not good business, so Shawn wants to appeal to the businessman. Shawn offers a match against Vince, but the boss isn’t sure. There’s no chance of that happening, and Shawn has ticked Vince off. That’s why tonight, Shawn can commit career suicide by hitting him. Vince takes off his jacket and begs Shawn to hit him but here’s Shane to chair Shawn in the back.

During the break, Shane says he did this to teach Shawn respect, like Bret Hart had to learn. The McMahons leave.

Rob Van Dam vs. Snitsky

Van Dam avoids a charge to start and kicks at the knee but Snitsky punches him down in the corner. The middle rope kick to the face slips (Van Dam: “S***!”) and Snitsky clotheslines him out of the air. We hit the chinlock before Snitsky chokes on the rope, followed by the bearhug. A powerslam gives Snitsky two and a hard running clothesline in the corner drops Rob again. Van Dam finally comes back with the stepover kick and a spinwheel kick, setting up Rolling Thunder for two. A big boot misses for Snitsky and Van Dam kicks him down again. The Five Star is good for the pin.

Rating: C-. Actually not terrible here as Snitsky looked better than usual with all of the power stuff. There’s no need to do anything more than keep it simple with power vs. high flying/speed as the point of this was to show that Rob could still go in the ring. It wasn’t anything memorable, but Van Dam being back is certainly a good thing.

Mama Benjamin yells at Shelton for not winning the Royal Rumble. Mama: “I DON’T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT THE OTHER TWENTY NINE BOYS!” She tells him to go win and then come back and rub his shoulders. Shelton leaves so here’s Goldust to rub her shoulders instead. Mama: “WHAT ARE YOU?” Goldust mentions loving golden showers and we’re leaving this one in a hurry.

HHH is annoyed at Maria for bringing up Rey Mysterio eliminating him after an hour in the Royal Rumble. That doesn’t go well because HHH faced 28 other men head on and then got blindsided. He can’t take that out on Eddie Guerrero or Rey Mysterio, but he has another idea.

HHH vs. Chavo Guerrero

Chavo doesn’t even get an entrance. HHH pounds him into the corner to start but Chavo gets in a dropkick for a trip to the floor. Back in and Chavo starts in on the armbar, setting up a flying forearm to put HHH outside again. They switch places and HHH backdrops him over the top for a big crash and it’s off to a break.

We come back with HHH in control and hitting a pair of backbreakers for two. There’s a hard whip into the corner to make things even worse for Chavo and HHH mocks the Eddie dance. The sleeper is countered with a ram into the corner and Chavo hits another dropkick. A spinning DDT gives Chavo two and there are Three Amigos. The frog splash misses though and there’s the Pedigree to give HHH the pin.

Rating: D+. What were you expecting here? It’s not like anyone believed HHH was losing to Chavo and the Eddie stuff has made a comeback out of nowhere. We’re less than three months removed from his death and it is already seeming to be one of if not the biggest story in the company. That isn’t exactly easy to sit through, let alone being the most entertaining.

Chris Masters isn’t happy with Carlito for eliminating him last night and slaps him as a receipt. Now they’re cool to go after the Tag Team Titles.

Tag Team Titles: Big Show/Kane vs. Carlito/Chris Masters

Show and Kane are defending. The champs jump them to start and it’s a big chop in the corner to Carlito. Kane gets annoyed at Carlito but misses a charge, allowing Masters to send him into the steps. Back in and Carlito hits a Backstabber on Kane, followed by the Masterlock. Show makes an eventual save and cleans house until Carlito low bridges him outside. Another Masterlock to Kane has to be broken up and it’s a double chokeslam to retain the titles.

Rating: D+. I’m not sure who is seeing all of the potential in a Carlito/Masters combination but I guess it’s better than watching the two of them be out there on their own in two different segments. Kane and Big Show are nearly unstoppable at this point though and these two schmucks aren’t going to take the titles from them. It was nice to see a little drama, but it’s still Carlito and Masters. That’s not going to get very far.

During the break, Carlito yelled at the referee but Rob Van Dam made the save. Granted we don’t see this, but Lawler tells us what happened on WWE.com.

Mickie James is ready to celebrate Trish Stratus. Joan of Arc, Queen Elizabeth II and Angelina Jolie have been celebrated and they’re “dime store hookers compared to Trish.” Mickie knows Trish loves her too.

We look at Edge winning the World Title at New Year’s Revolution and then losing it last night.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Goldust

Mama is in a wheelchair with an oxygen tank. They start fast and it’s Goldust catapulting him to the floor. An uppercut keeps Shelton in trouble and they head back inside with Shelton taking him down. Some right hands to the head draw the MAMA’S BOY chants and Goldust starts his quick comeback. Shattered Dreams connects but Goldust goes to hit on Mama, allowing Shelton to kick him in the head. The exploder gives Shelton the pin.

Rating: D. Now Mama has props. I get the point of the comedy but it makes the Shelton fan in me very, very sad. How this is the best thing that WWE could think of for someone as good as Benjamin is beyond me but that has never stopped them before. Not a good match either, which is kind of a trend this week.

Post break, Shelton wheels Mama to the women’s room and then goes over to tell Ric Flair he’s coming for the Intercontinental Title. Flair laughs it off as a threat from a mama’s boy.

Here’s how Candice Michelle made her GoDaddy.com Super Bowl commercial.

Here’s Mickie James to explain how much she loves Trish. We see a clip of Trish reluctantly counting the three count last night and here’s Trish. Balloons and confetti fall as Trish isn’t sure what is going on here. Mickie has another present to show her appreciation: the Spirit Squad! Their cheer explains the Mickie loves her and it’s time for Trish to say the same.

Before Trish can say anything, here’s Ashley to interrupt. Ashley makes it clear that Trish thinks Mickie is a psycho, sending Mickie into tears. Trish can’t really deny it so Mickie jumps Ashley to trigger the catfight. A save attempt from Trish lets Mickie kick Ashley in the face, which Mickie thinks means Trish loves her too.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Edge

Edge is challenging and has Lita with him. They stare at each other to start with Cena grabbing an aggressive headlock takeover. Edge sends him outside though and starts brawling until Cena takes it inside again for another headlock. The release fisherman’s suplex gives Cena two and he grabs a front facelock. Cena switches to a chinlock but Edge fights up with a dropkick. Edge takes too much time going up though and is shoved face first into the announcers’ table.

Back from a break with Edge in control and mocking You Can’t See Me, because it worked so well for him last night. A guillotine of all things has Cena in trouble but he slips out after a decent amount of trouble. Cena wins the slugout and catches a diving Edge in a powerslam for two. There’s a spinebuster for the same and Cena crotches Edge on top, setting up a superplex.

Edge gets his own rollup out of the corner for two but walks into the ProtoBomb. There’s the Shuffle (with a kiss blown to Lita) but Edge sends Cena into the referee. Edge hits Cena low and there’s the spear for no count. Cena is back up and tries the FU, drawing in Lita to hit Edge (yes Edge) with the belt for the DQ.

Rating: B-. Slightly better match than last night and I like the ending, but there was no drama about who was winning. I know Edge did well with the title and shocked the world before, but they just aren’t going to have him in the World Title scene at Wrestlemania so soon after getting into the title picture. The ending was smart though and gives Edge an out, but it’s still not looking like his time until after Wrestlemania.

Overall Rating: D+. This was more about hitting the brakes a bit after the Rumble and they do have a long time before Wrestlemania. That being said, things aren’t looking great around here at the moment as there isn’t anything on the show that made me want to see where things are going. It wasn’t the worst show, but there was nothing overly good and it feels like we’re still waiting for something big to start around here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XXII (2015 Redo): That Weird Placeholder Wrestlemania

IMG Credit: WWE

Wrestlemania XXII
Date: April 2, 2006
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 17,159
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

Really there isn’t much else to talk about here. The other major match on the show is Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon in a match over Vince not being willing to grow up and let go of some things in his past. The card just doesn’t feel big this year which was the case with most of the stuff this year. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

Raw: Eugene, Viscera, Goldust, Rob Conway, Lance Cade, Matt Striker, Trevor Murdoch, Tyson Tomko, Snitsky

Smackdown: Funaki, Super Crazy, Simon Dean, Steven Richards, Johnny Nitro, William Regal, Road Warrior, Joey Mercury, Psicosis

They’re keeping it a lot smaller this year with just eighteen names. Cade and Murdoch are a southern team, Striker is a former teacher who would become an annoying announcer, Road Warrior is our old friend Animal, Mercury and Nitro are partners in MNM (Smackdown Tag Team Champions) and Super Crazy and Psicosis are part of a group called the Mexicools. Also Viscera is now a self professed love machine.

Simon tries to make a sales pitch to start and gets superkicked for an elimination. Conway poses while beating on Richards and gets dumped for his efforts. Funaki gets catapulted out and Cade quickly follows him. Richards is stupid enough to pose on the apron and gets knocked out with Striker getting eliminated a few seconds later. Murdoch eliminates Crazy as the ring is quickly clearing out. Psicosis puts out Goldust in a pretty big upset.

Snitsky throws Regal out and MNM plants Eugene with the Snapshot (elevated DDT) for an easy elimination. The final eight (Snitsky, Viscera, Murdoch and Tomko for Raw, Mercury, Nitro, Psicosis and Road Warrior for Smackdown) have the big staredown with Psicosis quickly eliminating Murdoch, only to be put out by Tomko. Viscera tortures MNM as Snitsky and Tomko forget their allegiance by starting a brawl that no one cares about.

MNM avoids a corner splash from Viscera and actually tries the Snapshot, resulting in a severely sore back. Viscera stacks them both up for a splash and the Visagra, which can only be described as rhythmic thrusting on the mat. MNM are thankfully eliminated and Snitsky kicks Tomko out by mistake. Road Warrior stares Viscera down and the fans chant for the LOD. A big splash crushes Road Warrior and the elimination is academic, leaving Viscera to avoid a running boot to eliminate Snitsky for the win at 9:04.

Rating: D-. This was a horrible battle royal with the speed of the eliminations and the winner really holding things back. I mean……VISCERA? The long space near the end with no eliminations felt long too and really made the match drag, despite it not even breaking ten minutes. While last year’s felt fun, this one really felt tacked on and that’s not a good thing.

Viscera kisses Lillian post match.

Michelle Williams of Destiny’s Child sings America the Beautiful.

The opening video is set to I Dare You by Shinedown and gives us the required history of Wrestlemania package (very good this year) before shifting to the major matches this year. I like the song but this really isn’t making me want to see the show.

The set is much simpler this year as it looks like the side of a skyscraper and is shaped liked the Chicago skyline, which fits the theme of “Big Time”. The highlight though is a bunch of portraits of various wrestlers around the arena for a unique and cool look.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Big Show/Kane vs. Chris Masters/Carlito

Masters and Carlito are challenging as Big Show and Kane decided they were friends again and easily won the belts. Masters and Kane get things going with Kane using a very rare dropkick. It’s off to Show for the loud chops in the corner but a rake to the eyes allows the tag off to Carlito, who looks terrified. The challengers are quickly deposited on top of each other outside, followed by a big clothesline from Kane. He’s feeling aerial tonight. The referee yells at Kane and in the meantime, Carlito and Masters get the turnbuckle pad off. That almost feels like a Wrestlemania tradition at this point.

Show goes face first into the steel and a double flapjack gets two. A double suplex goes as well as you would expect and it’s off to Kane to almost no reaction. Everything breaks down and Kane dives into the Master Lock (Chris’ full nelson), only to have Show break it up with a kick to the face. A Backstabber puts Show down and Kane sidesteps a Masters ax handle, sending him into Carlito instead. The chokeslam ends Carlito and retains the titles at 6:43.

Rating: D+. That’s their opener? They really didn’t have anything better than this? Kane and Show were pretty boring champions as almost no one could give them a real challenge, which is why they lost to a team of five male cheerleaders the following night on Raw. Masters and Carlito never got as far as they were supposed to in WWE, which is really a trend of the era.

Masters and Carlito argue post match.

Shawn Michaels is ready for his no holds barred match against Vince McMahon tonight. A few months ago, Shawn told Vince to grow up and forget about Montreal, prompting Vince to go to war against Shawn. That doesn’t mean he’s going to take back what he said because he still believes every word of it. Tonight isn’t going to be a five star classic because it’s going to get ugly. Shawn isn’t going to be his 1995 self or his 2006 self. Instead he’s going somewhere he’s never been before and Vince better be ready.

Matt Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Finlay vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Ric Flair

Money in the Bank. Matt is serious again, Shelton is Intercontinental Champion again, Finlay is a tough Irish brawler and Lashley is an athletic freak and a powerhouse (originally described as Brock Lesnar times ten). To make it even better, all four commentators are on the match to make sure we never get a second of silence. Everyone goes after Lashley to start as the fans are all behind RVD.

Van Dam is there for them as he baseball slides a ladder into Matt’s face, followed by a plancha to land on the ladder on Hardy. Shelton won’t stand for being shown up though so he bridges the ladder against the ropes and flip dives out onto a pile of guys in a HUGE crash. Flair and Finlay are left in the ring for something that could be very interesting. Ric quickly dispatches him and goes up but Matt makes the save and SUPERPLEXES A FIFTY SEVEN YEAR OLD MAN OFF A LADDER!!!

Flair is taken to the back so we’re down to five for now which could make the match even better. Van Dam’s Rolling Thunder only hits ladder so Shelton and Lashley handle the climbing for now. Shelton tries a sunset bomb off the ladder but it takes Matt and Finlay to help make it happen. Cole again tries to get the whole Smackdown vs. Raw nonsense in and it still doesn’t work.

With most of the people down, Matt decides to charge at Finlay and a ladder in the corner, resulting in one of them being launched at Matt’s face. I’ll let you figure out which was which. Finlay loads up a ladder but here’s Flair because Heaven forbid we don’t have him around for five minutes. Ric cleans house with chops and goes up, only to have Finlay hit him in the back with the shillelagh (Irish club), sending Flair crashing down to the mat on his back.

The briefcase is swinging though, allowing Shelton to make the save. Lashley uses more power though as he uses another ladder to knock over the standing one to drop everyone again. Rob is right there though, coming off the top with a chair, dropkicking it into Lashley’s back for another save. Now it’s Matt’s turn to do something stupid as he drops a legdrop off the ladder to crush Lashley. That’s not enough either though as Matt Side Effects Finlay off the ladder, followed by Rob dropping the Five Star (well more like a regular one so he didn’t kill himself) from the top of the ladder onto Finlay.

That was a REALLY bad stretch for logic. All of the big spots looked really cool but what sends did most of them make? One of the dangers of Money in the Bank or any ladder match for that matter is doing crazy spots for the sake of doing crazy spots. You could say that they’re doing them to keep other people down, but the logical move, and what they did last year, is just throw people outside and then climb. It made for a higher quality match last year and it would do so again here if they tried the same thing.

Rob goes up now and in the spot of the match, Shelton springboards from the top rope ONTO THE STANDING LADDER and hammers away at Van Dam. Matt climbs another ladder so Shelton steps over to fight him but it’s Rob shoving them both down and pulling down the briefcase at 12:22.

Rating: B. Good stuff here but a major step below last year with too much insanity going around but still more than enough insanity to make the whole thing work. Van Dam is a really good choice for the winner as he’s been one of the most popular guys in the company for a long time so it was time to give him a shot, especially with Batista on the shelf. Good match here but it’s now a spot fest instead of a logical, well thought out match. Both are entertaining, though for far different reasons.

Gene Okerlund is happy to have been inducted into the Hall of Fame (not so happy with his bar tab, because Okerlund likes to drink you see) but Randy Orton comes in to say that he’ll be in the Hall of Fame for actions, not holding a microphone for 35 years. After Gene leaves while rambling about Orton’s old man, Batista comes up and says the title is being kept warm for him. He’ll be back soon.

It’s Hall of Fame time with the Class of 2006 consisting of Gene Okerlund, Sensational Sherri, Tony Atlas, Verne Gagne, William Perry (Celebrity inductee in some rather ugly street clothes. He couldn’t bring a suit?), the Blackjacks, Eddie Guerrero (accepted by Vickie to the loudest ovation of the group) and Bret Hart, who is still a few years away from appearing on WWE TV. Eddie would have been in one day and the reaction he gets here brings a smile to my face, even though I wasn’t a huge fan.

US Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit is defending and there isn’t much of a story here other than JBL wants the title and they tried to break each other’s hands (with only Benoit succeeding). In a really cool entrance, the ramp raises up and JBL’s limo comes out from underneath it to deliver him to the ring. JBL even Texas Two Steps to the ring with image consultant Jillian Hall (a good looking blonde) accompanying him. This is quite the drop down the card for both guys, though it’s not quite King Kong Bundy levels of bad.

JBL runs him over to start but has to block the Crossface. Benoit fires off some chops in the corner but the Sharpshooter doesn’t work either. Back up and Benoit chops him in the chest so JBL kicks him in the face. Chris still doesn’t let up and rolls some Germans, only to get crotched going for the Swan Dive. To make sure you know who the villain is here, JBL mocks Eddie’s signature dance (Benoit inducted Eddie into the Hall of Fame) before superplexing Benoit down for a delayed two.

Now it’s time for Three Amigos from JBL which is such an awesome piece of heel work. Jillian yells for some reason and we hit a chinlock on the champion. Benoit fights up and shows us the real way to do the Three Amigos (for those of you going to wrestling school by correspondence, though Benoit doesn’t have Eddie’s roll down just yet), followed by a big Swan Dive for two. Therefore it’s time for the Crossface but JBL rolls over and grabs the rope for the pin and the title at 9:44.

Rating: D+. Really good heel stuff from JBL aside, this felt like it was missing the middle. Instead of building to something, it felt like they ran out of time and just went straight to the finish. I do really like JBL’s heel actions but that doesn’t lead to being good between the bells. Benoit was his normal self here, which may be a step down from last year but it’s still good stuff.

We recap Edge vs. Mick Foley. Edge had cashed in the first Money in the Bank briefcase to steal Cena’s Raw World Title but he dropped it back to Cena three weeks later with Foley as guest referee. Therefore Edge wanted revenge at Wrestlemania, teasing Foley with the Wrestlemania moment performance. Foley accepted if they could make it hardcore, which Edge accepted by giving him a Conchairto (crushing Foley’s head between two chairs). This only woke up the hardcore legend inside Foley and the war was on.

Joey Styles, the voice of ECW, takes over for JR.

Edge vs. Mick Foley

Hardcore. Lawler’s reaction to Lita’s (now with Edge) look: “Whoa.” The cargo pants, Edge vest and bra look does have merit. Edge has a baseball bat and Foley’s flannel shirt is buttoned up for some reason. The bat misses to start and Foley bulldogs him down, followed by putting him in the Tree of Woe for a running ax handle to the face. Lita throws in some weapons to crack Foley upside the head.

The spear connects but Edge rolls away in pain, because Foley had barbed wire wrapped around his waist. The gray flannel comes off and NOW we get the classic red. Edge gets tied up in the ropes and it’s time for Barbie, the baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire. Edge is already bleeding from the arm but he’s able to hiptoss Foley into the steps for another sick crash. A baseball slide knocks Foley’s broken body back to the floor and of course it’s table time.

Foley rolls off the table before Edge can drop a top rope splash. That’s fine with Edge who slams Foley head first onto the steel ramp for two. That sound made me cringe….and so does Edge covering Foley in lighter fluid. It wakes Foley up though and he grabs a piledriver for two. Lita breaks up a Conchairto (well a Conchair-cookie sheeto) and Edge gets even more violent with a Barbie shot to the face, followed by just raking the wire over Mick’s forehead (ala Cactus Jack vs. HHH in 2000).

Edge is getting frustrated so he turns over more steps to reveal a bag of thumbtacks. Foley escapes and throws Edge into the tacks instead, sending Edge into shock. A barbed wire Socko appears (ok that’s awesome) and Edge is bleeding from the mouth. Shots to the ribs and head make it even worse and my goodness Edge is gushing.

In perhaps the scariest part of the match, Foley gets the lighter fluid. There is no way this can end well. The table is covered in it but Lita hits Foley in the knee with Barbie…..and lights the table on fire. Edge spears Foley through the ropes and through the fire, sending both men into shock. With Foley rolling around, Edge gets an arm over his chest for the pin at 14:37.

Rating: A. This is the kind of violence that they needed to have and the last shots with both guys in shock and rolling around in agony from the fire more than sold the whole thing. Foley is the perfect choice to bring in for something like this as this is the match that really made Edge. Yeah he was a big deal already, but this showed his mean streak for a change, which is one of the big steps up to the main event. This is the only match people remember from this show and it holds up very, very well.

Booker T. is trying to calm down his wife Sharmell over their handicap match against the Boogeyman (exactly what he sounds like). Sharmell thinks Booker attracts freaks but Booker says no and they walk down the hall. I think you know what’s coming. First up they run into Paul Burchill, who is embracing his family’s history as a pirate. After he calls them mateys, they find Ted DiBiase offering to pay Eugene money if he can bounce a basketball 100 times, only to kick the ball away at 99 (an old trick of his, once tried on Rob Van Dam himself when he was a kid).

Snitsky is kissing Mae Young’s feet (again, a thing of his), followed by Goldust dressed as Oprah Winfrey. Goldust gives him a pep talk, telling him to embrace his inner freak to defeat the Boogeyman. The real advice is to take the worms from Boogeyman’s mouth (Yeah he eats worms. Like, real live worms). Goldust whispers something in Booker’s ears and freaks him out even worse, sending Booker off for his match. These cameos would become a tradition.

Some fans won a contest to come to Wrestlemania, plus free Snickers.

Booker T./Sharmell vs. Boogeyman

Booker and Sharmell are terrified and we might be in for a comedy match here. This match has been a long time in the making as Booker keeps faking injuries so he can avoid fighting Boogeyman but it finally happens here. Sharmell has to start, only to have Booker get in a cheap shot and tag in a few seconds later.

There’s a bunch of fog in the ring from Boogeyman’s entrance as Booker superkicks him down. The Book End gets two and Boogeyman reaches into his pocket to pull out a bunch of worms. As you do. He eats the worms and kisses them into Sharmell’s mouth, sending her running in terror. A chokebomb puts Booker away at 3:54.

Rating: F. Booker is a former World Champion and would win his first World Title in WWE about four months after this. For some reason, he’s losing in a gross comedy match to a guy named the Boogeyman. Like I said: this was a very strange time for the company and this is a very good example of why. Also, was there any reason that this wasn’t one on one?

We recap Mickie James vs. Trish Stratus (good again and in the same reign with the Women’s Title from last year). Mickie debuted a few months ago as an obsessed fan who had a big crush on Trish. That was too much for Trish who told her to calm down, earning her a kick to the head and shouts of “DO YOU LOVE ME NOW” from Mickie. It got even worse as Mickie kidnapped Trish’s friend Ashley and laid out Trish during the save attempt, ending with a kiss to the unconscious Trish.

Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Trish Stratus

Trish is defending. Lawler thinks Mickie is crazy but JR says Lawler would date her anyway, even if she’s a bit old for Jerry (JR: “She’s in her early 20s.” Lawler: “Can she cook?”). Mickie slaps her in the back of the head to start so Trish elbows her right in the jaw. The Thesz press (JR: “Maybe the Louise Thesz press.”) has Mickie in more trouble and Trish throws her down, only to have Mickie land in the splits. Trish kicks the post by mistake and Mickie wraps it around the post, followed by dropkicking it out for two.

The fans are behind Mickie as I guess they don’t go for the talented blonde bombshell look. There’s a half crab to stay on the leg before Mickie wraps it up in the ropes and stomps down on it. Now it’s a LET’S GO MICKIE chant and the fans boo as Trish comes back with a headscissors. Even JR isn’t sure why Trish is being booed so badly, though it could be the whole gorgeous brunette in a very short skirt which keeps flying up and down thing. Mickie’s hurricanrana out of the corner is countered with a sweet sitout powerbomb.

The Stratusfaction (springboard bulldog) is broken up with a grab between the legs, followed by Mickie licking her hand (edited out of most DVD versions). Trish blasts her in the face with a forearm and tries the Stratusfaction but the knee gives out (this is also edited though it might have been a bad attempt at selling the knee injury instead of a botch), allowing Mickie to kick her in the head for the pin and the title at 8:49. JR gets in a great line with “the nutjob has won the title.”

Rating: B-. Good stuff here with an actual story and two women who can actually work a match instead of models who have no idea what they’re doing. These two had a good, long feud with Mickie eventually becoming the new face of the division due to Trish and Lita retiring later in the year. This is still one of the best Divas matches ever and pretty easily the best of this era.

Vince is with the other three McMahons and decides to lead them in a prayer. Vince: “God, I don’t like you and you don’t like me.” He brags about his physique and wealth before promising to destroy God’s favorite wrestler tonight.

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

Casket match. Henry destroyed Undertaker AS NO ONE HAD DONE BEFORE to set this up. This was rumored to be Angle vs. Undertaker but why do something awesome when you can do something boring? At least we get the full druid entrance for the casket, plus the classic story of “I’m not scared of the dark” from Henry. I say classic because EVERY HEEL EVER SAYS THAT TO UNDERTAKER. Undertaker’s entrance goes so long that Cole is able to go through every match in the Streak.

Henry jumps Undertaker during the nearly three minute entrance and pounds him down using big clubbing blows. Yes I said BIG CLUBBING BLOWS. Undertaker tries running him over but a clothesline puts him right back down. They head outside with both guys going into the steps. Slow progress so far. Back in and Henry breaks up Old School and chokes Undertaker near the open casket.

Anything goes though so Undertaker hits him low for the break. Old School works the second time around and Henry misses a charge, sending him down into the casket. Undertaker joins him and they choke each other a lot until Henry gets punched back into the ring. Isn’t that bad strategy for Undertaker? There’s the World’s Strongest Slam and Henry covers out of instinct.

Another trip to the casket goes nowhere so Henry pounds away with even more right hands. Since those don’t work well enough, Mark goes to the middle rope and gets powerbombed down. Not quite the Last Ride but it’s as close as Undertaker was going to get with Henry. Mark is sent to the floor and takes the Taker Dive, followed by a Tombstone to put him in the casket for the win at 9:27.

Rating: D-. This was as going through the motions as you were going to get with neither guy looking like they were trying with any sort of effort. That being said though, if you were scheduled to get Kurt Angle and got Mark Henry instead, how fired up would you be? Bad match here as it was nearly nine minutes of punching and forearms until the ending.

We recap Vince vs. Shawn which I covered earlier. After the grow up line set him off, Vince sent Shane and the Spirit Squad (five male cheerleaders in an odd gimmick choice) after Shawn and even forced him to join his special club. As in the one that involved Vince lower his pants and a kiss from the other person. Figure out the details for yourself.

Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon

No holds barred. JR apologizes in advance for being so biased in this match. Oh thanks for the warning Jimmy. Vince shows off a framed cover of his Muscle and Fitness Magazine cover, which really is amazing considering he’s 60 here. Shawn doesn’t want to wait and sends Vince over the table, choking him with an electric cord. The fans want Bret (maybe he could pick this show up a bit) but have to settle for the framed picture (minus the glass) going around Vince’s head.

Cue the Spirit Squad to take Shawn out, including their five man lifting slam. Nicky (later known as Dolph Ziggler and the only one who went anywhere) sends Kenny to the top for a guillotine legdrop but Shawn moves away. Their megaphone goes upside the Squad’s heads and Kenny is sent flying over the top onto the rest of the team.

Vince finally gets back into it with shoulders and choking, first with hands and then with the belt. See? He’s versatile! Vince is all fired up and runs around in a circle before tuning up the band. JR: “He can’t carry a tune.” The kick is caught though and it’s the forearm into the nipup. That means it’s time for Vince to get whipped with his own belt (oh the irony) as JR is even more annoying than usual, ranting about how Vince is a businessman with no heart.

Shane comes in with a kendo stick to break up the real Sweet Chin Music and pulls out some handcuffs. Vince would rather lower his pants though, only to have Shawn hit Shane in the ribs and send him face first into his dad. This is one of those moments that makes you embarrassed to be a wrestling fan but you have to expect it from Vince. Now Shane gets cuffed to the middle rope and Shawn takes the key away for safekeeping and even mocks Shane’s trademark dance. He was always good at that thing.

Back in and Shawn hits a GREAT chair shot to the head (Lawler: “CUBS WIN! CUBS WIN!”) to bust the boss open. Sweet Chin Music is canceled because Shawn would rather pull out a ladder. The top of said ladder goes into Vince’s face and this year it’s JR making the Home Depot joke. That’s still not enough for the superkick though as Shawn would rather bring in three trashcans. Oh and a table of course. You can see another can, ladder and table in case we have another wild brawl later.

Some can shots are followed by Shawn putting Vince on the table and climbing the ladder. That’s not enough though so Shawn climbs down and pulls out the big ladder for the elbow (after some crotch chops) through a trashcan through Vince. Sweet Chin Music FINALLY puts Vince away at 18:27.

Rating: D. This went on WAY too long as the last six or seven minutes were just Shawn beating Vince up with no offense from McMahon whatsoever. It’s entertaining in a perverse violent way but at the same time, how long can you see Shawn hit Vince with various metal objects before it gets dull? Even JR was saying end it already. Cut out five minutes of this and it’s way better as this was six minutes longer than Money in the Bank. That’s too much no matter how you look at it. On top of that, this led to a DX reunion and a one sided feud that went on for another five months, even after this total destruction.

Vince flips Shawn off from the stretcher in a perfect touch.

Wrestlemania XXIII is in Detroit.

We recap the Smackdown World Title match. Rey Mysterio had dedicated his Royal Rumble performance to the late Eddie Guerrero, last eliminating Randy Orton to win. Orton wasn’t happy with this and played on Rey’s emotions by bringing up Eddie’s name and saying he would burn forever. This made Rey put his title shot on the line at No Way Out 2006 where Orton defeated him. Smackdown General Manager Teddy Long put Mysterio into the title match anyway to make it a triple threat against champion Kurt Angle (who won the vacant title in a battle royal due to Batista’s injury). This gets the music video treatment.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton

Angle is defending and P.O.D. plays Mysterio to the ring. No superhero again this year as Rey has an Aztec eagle theme instead. Orton takes the belt from the referee to blast Kurt in the face and runs Rey over for two. Kurt, in black boots for some reason, comes back in with a German suplex to both guys at once. Rey is down so Randy has to take Kurt’s full wrath. This was a great period for Angle as he was on fire and really feeling the Wrestling Machine persona.

The ankle lock attempt is abandoned as Angle has to deal with Mysterio, who headscissors him to the middle rope. This time the ankle lock goes on though as Kurt counters the 619 but Orton gets on the apron with a chair so the referee doesn’t see Rey tap (what a hero: giving up five minutes in when he’s trying to honor his friend’s memory). Now it’s time to unleash the Germans with Angle not even leaving his feet as he throws Mysterio.

An Angle Slam puts Rey on the floor and now Randy gets caught in the hold to make him tap behind the referee’s back. Rey comes back in with a springboard legdrop for two on the champ but he sends Mysterio shoulder first into the post. An RKO out of nowhere (he even did it back then) gets two on Kurt with the ankle delaying the cover. Ever the rocket scientist, Orton goes up top on a bad ankle against Kurt Angle, who gladly runs up the corner for the belly to belly superplex.

Rey’s springboard seated senton gets two on Angle and Randy throws the champ to the floor. His powerbomb into a neckbreaker (a cool move I wish he would use more often) gets two on Rey but a quick Angle Slam gets the same on Orton. Rey armdrags the champ to the floor and it’s the 619 and West Coast Pop to pin Orton for the title at 9:25.

Rating: C+. Where’s the rest of the match? The World Title change at Wrestlemania can’t even get ten minutes but Boogeyman vs. Booker T./Sharmell and the next match can get four minutes each? Mysterio winning is a cool moment but this should have been just beating Orton while Angle fights Undertaker in a classic. At least we had a cool moment though and a good way to cap off Eddie’s legacy while giving Rey a surprise title win.

Vickie and Chavo Guerrero come out to celebrate.

HHH and John Cena are getting ready in the back and JR talks about Cena being defiant like his fans. Fans: “CENA SUCKS!”

Candice Michelle vs. Torrie Wilson

They’ve both been in Playboy before so here’s a pillow fight on a bed. JR: “This next match will not resemble Gotch and Hackenschmidt.” Of note: Torrie comes out to what would become Laycool’s music and carrying a puppy. Lilian also can’t pronounce Torrie’s hometown of Boise, Idaho. They brawl to start and Torrie turns the bed over. There goes Candice’s dress but she still chokes Torrie with her legs while bending over the top rope. Candice drops a knee and cuts Torrie’s dress off with some scissors. She rubs a copy of Playboy in Torrie’s face but charges into a rollup to give Torrie the pin at 3:55.

Rating: F. Again, this got about four minutes or nearly half the time of a World Title match. That’s really their best use of Wrestlemania time? As has been the case in the past, I get the appeal and thinking here but this really didn’t need to be the next to last match at the biggest show of the year.

Clips of the Wrestlemania press conference from earlier in the week. HHH called this the easiest match of his life because sooner or later, they all bow down to the king. He won a quick tournament to get the shot.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. John Cena

HHH is challenging and comes out first with a full on Conan the Barbarian look, complete with throne rising through the stage, fur pelt, and of course a bottle of water. Just like Kane in 1998 though, his entrance is trumped almost instantly. We see an old newsreel style video of Chicago in the Great Depression. Gangsters were the only people living the American Dream and a group in Chicago lived harder than anybody. To survive, those people needed three things: Hustle, Loyalty and Respect.

The stage rises up again and a 1930s car with gangsters hanging off the side (one of which is CM Punk) holding Tommy guns. Cena’s music hits and the booing gets even louder. He comes out in a black trench coat and fedora before firing off a Tommy gun of his own. This isn’t the best received entrance but it certainly makes an impression. With all that out of the way, we get the big match intros and it’s time to go. Well after we hear all of HHH’s nicknames of course.

Feeling out process to start with HHH grabbing a hammerlock and throwing Cena to the ground. A kick to the back sends him into the corner as this is all HHH in the very early going. The fans are all over Cena with some very bad words so he tries a quick FU, only to eat a right hand to the jaw to put him down again. To mix things up a bit, HHH throws him out to the floor as they’re taking their time here.

A backdrop of all things gets two for the champ as Lawler says Cena might not be the best wrestler but he can fight. JR jumps to the champ’s defense as he throws HHH into the corner and puts on a chinlock to take a breather. Fans: “YOU CAN’T WRESTLE!” A big whip sends HHH over the corner and out to the floor in a big crash, followed by a slam to put HHH on the ramp.

Back in and they start slugging it out, followed by HHH taking it to the floor again for a whip through the steps. Things slow down with the HHH knee to the mat, followed by one heck of a clothesline for two. Back to back neckbreakers get the same and HHH is as over as free beer in a frat house. JR tries to get over Monarch of the Mat as a new nickname for HHH as he cranks on Cena’s head. A sleeper takes Cena down and turns into a chinlock.

Back up and Cena takes his head off with a clothesline and follows with two more. A powerslam gets two and the ProtoBomb looks to set up the Shuffle, only to have HHH pop up with a spinebuster. It’s back to the sleeper but Cena quickly suplexes out and now the Shuffle connects. The STFU (the U would eventually be dropped) goes on but HHH is too close to the ropes. With that not working, Cena tries the FU but gets rammed into the referee. HHH uses the opportunity to get in a low blow, which hits Cena and the referee at the same time.

That means it’s time for a sledgehammer to the face for two, because a 6’4 270lb man HITTING YOU IN THE FACE WITH A SLEDGEHAMMER is only going to knock you out for two seconds at a time. HHH loads up the Pedigree (“I hit him in the face with a hammer as hard as I could. Maybe my wrestling move can beat him!”) but Cena reverses into the FU (looking like he’s been out there five minutes and hasn’t been touched) for a near fall. A high cross body misses and it’s back to the Pedigree but Cena reverses into the STFU to eventually retain at 22:04.

Rating: C. Cena was coming but he really wasn’t there yet. This is similar to Rock vs. Austin back in 1999 where the first match wasn’t great (though certainly not bad) but the rematch the next month was WAY better (partially due to Edge being added to spice things up a bit). The match didn’t work for the most part though and that sledgehammer shot was WAY more than I could handle. I repeat: he hit Cena in the face WITH A SLEDGEHAMMER FOR TWO.

That being said, this is the match that made Cena the biggest star in the company. He had always been a big deal and the top star of Raw, but this is the match that made him special. Until then he had been living in Batista’s shadow, but now it’s all about Cena and his in ring abilities would mature to back it up. The match is good, though much more important than anything else.

Highlight package ends the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This show just does not hold up. It felt like something used to set up stuff for the future which is fine, but aside from Edge vs. Foley and a good Money in the Bank, what is there on here of value? We have a pretty lame Tag Team Title match where the titles changed hands the next night, a forgettable US Title change, Boogeyman vs. Booker T. (for all intents and purposes), a good Women’s Title match, a REALLY bad casket match, a way too long squash, a World Title change that was far too short though memorable and a pillow fight. Does that sound like Wrestlemania to you?

Now that being said, this isn’t the worst show ever as they kept most of the bad stuff short. The long bad match with Vince vs. Shawn certainly had some good moments with some of Vince’s head trauma and the sheer amusement of seeing the boss get beaten up. Basically, as usual, this show needed another edit and to have about an hour cut out. If you lose some of the short matches entirely (Booker T. vs. Boogeyman to start. Do that nonsense on Raw.), trim off some of Vince’s destruction and add it to the triple threat and cut the show down by at least half an hour, it’s WAY better in a hurry.

This show fell into one of the most common traps for Wrestlemania: trying to squeeze in too much stuff, including a lot of stuff that really didn’t need to be here. There were eleven matches on the card which really is too much. It made for a lot of short and forgettable matches, plus a handful that are actually good. That doesn’t really make up for a good Wrestlemania, though there are worse. We’ll go with this one on the very bottom of the good list list but with the weaker stuff on here being much more forgettable and dull than bad.

Ratings Comparison

Big Show/Kane vs. Carlito/Chris Masters

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: D+

Rob Van Dam vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Ric Flair vs. Finlay vs. Matt Hardy vs. Bobby Lashley

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Benoit

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: D+

Edge vs. Mick Foley

Original: A

2013 Redo: A

2015 Redo: A

Boogeyman vs. Booker T/Sharmell

Original: F

2013 Redo: F

2015 Redo: F

Mickie James vs. Trish Stratus

Original: B

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B-

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D-

Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: D

Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: C+

Torrie Wilson vs. Candice Michelle

Original: F

2013 Redo: F

2015 Redo: F

HHH vs. John Cena

Original: A-

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: C

Overall Rating

Original: B

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: C-

In the first one I said it wasn’t something I’d want to see again. Apparently that was accurate as the rating PLUNGED on a second viewing.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/29/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-22-i-barely-remember-this-show/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/31/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xxii-hhh-does-it-again/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XXII (2013 Redo): The Mysterio Show

IMG Credit: WWE

Wrestlemania XXII
Date: April 2, 2006
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 17,159
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

We head to the midwest here for a pretty forgotten show. The main events here are Cena defending against HHH and Angle defending against Guerrero and Orton. No that isn’t a typo. The triple threat has nothing to do with Rey Mysterio but rather is there to milk every dime possible out of Eddie’s corpse. Seriously, that’s it. Other than that we have Shawn vs. Vince and Edge vs. Foley in a match that allegedly made Edge a bigger deal. Let’s get to it.

Michelle Williams of Destiny’s Child sings America the Beautiful.

The opening video is a Wrestlemania montage set to I Dare You by Shinedown. Awesome song and an awesome video.

We also get the usual kind of opening video with hype for the major matches.

Raw Tag Titles: Carlito/Chris Masters vs. Big Show/Kane

The monsters are defending here. Kane and Masters start stuff out and the 6’5 Masters looks tiny by comparison. Show headbutts him from the apron before coming in legally for some chops. A poke to Big Show’s eye slows him down and here’s Carlito who is immediately chopped down. Masters is slammed down as well with Show throwing Carlito over the top and out onto Chris.

Kane goes up top and dives onto both guys as the challengers are in trouble. Somewhere in between there the turnbuckle pad has been removed and Show misses a charge, going head first into said buckle. It doesn’t seem to have much effect though as Show suplexes both guys down with ease. Off to Kane as everything breaks down. Kane pounds away on Carlito in the corner and hits the side slam for no cover.

The top rope clothesline misses Masters though and there’s the Masterlock to Kane. Show breaks it up seconds later but there’s the Backstabber to Kane. The chokeslam is broken up by Masters and Show is sent to the floor. Kane’s double chokeslam attempt is broken up but after causing some heel miscommunication, a solo version to Carlito retains the titles.

Rating: C. Not bad here but this is one of the matches that probably could have been cut for the sake of trimming the show a bit. The match was a squash and not a very interesting one either. That’s the problem with a pair of giants like Big Show and Kane: there’s no one that can stop them and the resulting matches are dull at times. Not bad but it felt like a Raw match.

The losers argue post match.

Shawn says that when he told Vince to grow up, he was telling the truth. It’s pretty funny that a year ago Shawn and Angle stole the show and a year before that he stole the show with Benoit and HHH. This year though it’s going to be about violence, not the five star classic. Shawn tells Vince to pray tonight because he’ll be enduring quite a bit.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Finlay vs. Ric Flair vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Matt Hardy vs. Bobby Lashley

Money in the Bank here. Shelton is Intercontinental Champion and Matt is arguably the favorite. It’s a big brawl to start with Lashley cleaning house. The crowd favors RVD. Benjamin hits a BIG kick to Lashley’s head to put him down as Matt tries to bring in the first ladder. Instead it’s Van Dam with a baseball slide to take Matt down, followed by a big flip dive to put him down again. Shelton brings in a ladder of his own and after laying out Finlay with it, he sets the ladder up as a ramp for a springboard flip dive to take out everyone under the age of 40.

Finlay sets up a ladder but here’s Flair for the save. Naitch tries to climb but Matt superplexes him off the ladder which is good enough to hurt Flair’s back and knock him out of the match. As Flair is taken out, Van Dam lays out Shelton on the ladder but misses Rolling Thunder, hitting only the ladder. Lashley goes for a climb but Benjamin goes up to stop him. Shelton tries a sunset bomb over the top of the ladder but it takes Matt and Finlay helping to complete the move.

Matt gets a running start at Finlay but has a ladder pelted at him to put Hardy right back down. Finlay sets up the ladder but here’s Flair hobbling down the aisle. Instead of climbing up the ladder though, Finlay goes into the aisle and gets chopped back down. Ric fights off Shelton and Hardy and goes up, getting his hand on the case. Finlay goes up the ladder though and blasts him with the club to put him back down.

Shelton and Finlay fight on top of the ladder but here’s Lashley with another ladder to knock the ladder with two people on it down to the mat. Now Lashley goes up but Van Dam comes off the top rope and dropkicks a chair into Lashley’s back to break up the climb. Matt, ever the bright guy, goes up top on the ladder but drops a leg instead of going for the case. Matt goes up and gets his hand on the ladder, only to have Finlay make a save. Hardy takes Finlay down with a Side Effect off the ladder to put everyone down.

Van Dam, also not the brightest guy in the world, comes off the ladder with a splash on Finlay, leaving everyone down again. In the spot of the match, Van Dam goes for a climb but Shelton springboards off the top rope and lands on the ladder to punch Rob down. That looked AWESOME but he has to stop Matt instead of getting the briefcase. Matt and Shelton’s ladder fall down though and it’s Van Dam pulling down the case to win the match and the title shot.

Rating: B. Shelton’s spot was INSANE but this match was a bit too short. Also the match wasn’t as big with the spots as it was last year but the spots that were big certainly did look good. It’s not quite as good as last year, but it still lived up to the hype. A better roster would have helped this one too, as Finlay didn’t fit in a match like this and Flair didn’t exactly either.

Randy Orton interrupts Gene Okerlund and insults the idea of Okerlund being inducted into the Hall of Fame. Gene isn’t impressed and says he’ll be in the Hall of Fame one day because of nights like tonight. Batista, still injured at this point, comes up and says he’s coming for the winner of the triple threat tonight. Batista vs. Orton was the match that never got to have on the big stage they wanted to.

Here’s the Hal of Fame (minus Bret because pigs haven’t grown wings yet): Okerlund, Sherri Martel, Tony Atlas, Verne Gagne, William Perry (in barely fitting street clothes), The Blackjacks (with a drool inducing Maria) and the co-headliner, Eddie Guerrero (biggest ovation and accepted by Vickie).

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

JBL is challenging and takes over with a quick headlock. Benoit comes back with a drop toehold but can’t get the Crossface this early. Back to the headlock by JBL but Benoit gets his back and pounds on the challenger’s neck. The Sharpshooter is broken up very quickly and Jibbles heads to the floor. Back in and Benoit avoids a charge in the corner and lays out Bradshaw with the Rolling Germans. The champion loads up the Swan Dive but JBL crotches him to escape.

JBL cranks up the heel by doing Eddie’s chest slap. A superplex puts Benoit down but only gets a very delayed two. There’s the Eddie dance and JBL hits Three Amigos to HUGE heat. Benoit knees his way out of the third Amigo and pounds away, only to get kicked in the face for two. Off to a lame chinlock (his hands aren’t even locked) by JBL but Benoit suplexes his way out. Now Chris hits Three Amigos to a solid ovation before doing the chest slap. Now the Swan Dive hits for two and Benoit counters the Clothesline into a Crossface attempt, but JBL rolls onto his back and grabs the rope for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. Just like the opener this was pretty meh but JBL was an awesome heel here. The part of this that sticks in my mind though is Benoit hitting that headbutt. After it hit he was grabbing his skull and was clearly in pain. Every time I see him hit something like that I cringe a little bit more and wonder if that was the point of no return.

We recap Foley vs. Edge. Edge cashed in MITB at New Year’s Revolution and Mick was guest referee for the title change for no apparent reason. Foley got beaten up as Edge accused Foley of losing his edge so to speak.

Joey Styles jumps in on commentary for the next match.

Mick Foley vs. Edge

This is a hardcore match and DEAR GOODNESS I forgot how hot Lita looked in this match. Edge comes out in a vest with a ball bat but Foley comes out in…..gray flannel? There’s a Cactus shirt under it but I didn’t come to Wrestlemania to see Foley in GRAY flannel. Edge swings with the bat but only hits buckle. Foley slams him into the mat and puts Edge upside down in the Tree of Woe for the running fist to the face.

Edge comes back with a forearm and tells Lita to send him something. We get various flat metal objects like cookie sheets and stop signs which are smashed against Foley’s head. Edge loses the vest and hits the spear before falling to the side and writhing in pain. Foley opens up the flannel and reveals a ring of barbed wire wrapped around his stomach and A RED FLANNEL SHIRT! Edge’s arm is hacked open so Foley whips him with the barbed wire and drives it into the arm cut.

Edge is tied up in the ropes and Foley pulls out a barbed wire ball bat. Lita tries to interfere but a Cactus Clothesline to Edge puts all three on the floor. A swinging neckbreaker on the floor gets two for Foley but as he charges at Edge he gets hiptossed into the steps, leg first. Edge whips Foley HARD into the steps, destroying the knees even further. Mick is put on a table on the floor but rolls off before Edge can dive. Edge slams Mick’s head into the steel ramp for two and another sick thud.

Back inside the ring they go and Edge covers Foley with lighter fluid. Well that’s certainly stepping things up. A piledriver out of nowhere gets two for Foley and he loads up the Conchairto, only to have Lita make a save. Edge hits a DDT “onto” the chair before getting the barbed wire bat for some midsection shots. There’s a shot to the face for good measure and Foley is busted open. Edge gets in some psychology by ripping the barbed wire of Foley’s forehead like Foley did to HHH in 2000.

Since nothing else has worked, Edge busts out the thumbtacks. Foley blocks a facial damaging bulldog with a belly to back suplex into the tacks to send Edge into shock. It’s Socko time but Foley wraps it in barbed wire for good measure. Foley gets in a barbed wire bat shot to Edge’s ribs and one to the head as well, cutting his head open something fierce. Now Foley gets the lighter fluid to cover the table, but Lita slows him down with a bat shot to the ribs. The table is lit and Edge SPEARS FOLEY THROUGH THE ROPES AND THE FLAMING TABLE for the pin.

Rating: A. Oh yeah this worked. This was about blood and violence which is something you never get anymore. It helped that you had Foley and Edge out there, as in guys that knew how to wrestle a match and make a wrestling crowd care. That’s the difference between this and ECW: this was well built and about emotion and hatred instead of a freak show. Also it’s ONCE, not every match on the card.

The look of shock on Edge’s face as he goes to the back is amazing.

Booker and Sharmell want to know why Boogeyman wants them. They go to the ring for their match and see Pirate Paul Burchill practicing his sword play. Then it’s DiBiase offering Eugene money for dribbling a ball 100 times in a row, only to kick it away at 99. Snitsky is licking Mae Young’s foot with Moolah watching.

Goldust is dressed like Oprah (they used to be partners remember) and is apparently the leader of this group of freaks. He tells Booker to embrace his inner freak or he can’t beat the Boogeyman tonight. Goldust suggests putting worms somewhere and Booker freaks out. Booker and Sharmell leave and unfortunately there’s no Wrestlemania dance party.

Backlash ad. Hey I was there.

Some celebrities are here.

Booker T/Sharmell vs. Boogeyman

The idea here is that Booker and Sharmell are terrified. Booker makes Sharmell start but jumps Boogeyman to get things going. There’s a bunch of smoke in the arena from Boogeyman’s entrance and you can barely see anything. Boogeyman starts no selling stuff including the Book End which doesn’t even get a cover. The ax kick misses and a forearm puts Booker down. Boogey eats a big handful of worms but Sharmell picks up his staff. She tries to sneak up on him but SCREAMS to make sure Boogey hears her. A wormy kiss sends Sharmell running and the chokebomb ends Booker for the pin.

Rating: F. Do I really need to explain this? Booker would somehow be world champion in four months. I don’t get the idea behind Boogeyman and it never worked at all. This match didn’t need to be a handicap match either as Sharmell didn’t add a thing to the entire match. The stupid smoke was annoying too.

We recap Trish vs. Mickie. Mickie showed up as the psycho (and HOT) Trish stalker/lesbian luster. Trish turned her down so Mickie snapped and kicked her in the head. Mickie then kidnapped Trish’s friend Ashley and laid out Trish as she tried to save Ashley. Mickie kissed the unconscious Trish, sending 12 year olds everywhere into a frenzy.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James

Mickie is challenging and has those awesome skirts that go all over the place. Trish is looking great too with the usual attire but showing her stomach as well. Trish is all aggressive here and chops Mickie down into the splits. They head to the floor but the Chick Kick hits the post. Mickie wraps the leg around the post and is still looking very psycho. Back in and a dropkick to the knee takes Trish down again, as does a dragon screw leg whip for two.

The fans chant for Mickie and I can’t say I blame them. Mickie wraps the leg around the ropes before driving it down into the mat for good measure. Off to a half crab followed by a knee crank but Trish power up and hooks a spinning headscissors to put James down. Trish comes back with the forearms and a spinebuster of all things for two. Trish’s corner splash hits feet but as Mickie goes up, Stratus tries the Stratusphere but gets slammed down for a sexy two. A rana is countered into a powerbomb for two and Trish is TICKED.

Trish tries the Matrish but the knee gives out. Instead she tries Stratusfaction but Mickie gropes Trish’s crotch to break it up. It’s exactly what it sounds like. Mickie licks her fingers so Trish DRILLS HER with a forearm. Trish keeps firing away but the knee gives out, and then the match falls off the rails. Mickie tries the Stratusfaction but COMPLETELY misses the rope, making it almost look like a botched atomic drop by Trish. Instead Mickie hits a lame Chick Kick to end Trish’s reign. JR sums it up perfectly: “The nutjob won the title!”

Rating: B-. This was one of the best Divas matches ever but the ending cripples it. The idea here was that it wasn’t a women’s match but rather a match featuring women in it. These two were beating each other up and Trish had real emotion out there. Mickie was PERFECT for this character and you really felt like she had a screw loose. The sexuality was there but it wasn’t the focus which is nice for a change. It’s nice to see a real story and a real fight between two people who happen to be gorgeous women. Good stuff here.

Vince leads his family in a prayer before his match with Shawn. Vince: “God, I don’t like you and you don’t like me.” That’s where it starts and I think you get the idea.

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

This is a casket match and WAY before Henry got awesome. Druids bring out the casket surrounded by torches. Basically Henry has beaten up Undertaker and isn’t scared of the dark. No one on the planet thought Henry had a chance here. I’d bet even his mama didn’t. Henry pounds away to start and no sells a few clotheslines before running Taker over. They trade shots into the steps with Henry taking control before heading back inside. Back in and Henry chokes Undertaker down like he’s not even there.

Taker fights back but has Old School broken up with ease. The casket is opened but Taker kicked his way to safety. The Dead Man gets back to his feet and manages to hit Old School this time but it doesn’t drop Henry. A Downward Spiral is easily blocked and Henry controls again by choking on the ropes. Henry misses a charge though and lands in the casket, only to pull Taker down in with him.

They fight out of the casket and head back into the ring where Taker charges into the World’s Strongest Slam but Henry covers on instinct instead of carrying Taker to the casket. Henry makes the incredibly stupid yet eternally made mistake of pounding down on Taker in the corner, only to be powerbombed out of the corner. Mark is knocked out to the floor where Taker hits hit HUGE Taker Dive to put Henry down again. Back in and there’s the Tombstone, allowing Taker to put Henry in the casket to win.

Rating: D+. It’s Mark Henry and this is long before the career resurgence he had in 2011. There was never any doubt that Taker would win his signature match against a guy who just wasn’t on his level. Not a good Mania match here for Taker, but he would win the world title at the next two editions so he would be ok soon.

We recap Vince vs. Shawn. Back in December, Vince had been talking about Montreal again and Shawn finally said let it go before nearly superkicking Vince. This led to Vince basically declaring war on Shawn, eventually leading to a street fight here tonight.

Vince McMahon vs. Shawn Michaels

Oh wait actually this is no holds barred rather than a street fight because they’re such different things. Before the match Vince unveils a poster version of his cover of Muscle and Fitness magazine, which is indeed pretty impressive. Shawn will have none of this though and goes after the boss, pounding away at him and throwing him over the announce table for good measure. Vince gets choked out with a cable as the commentators lose their equipment.

Shawn cracks Vince over the head with his poster and here’s the Spirit Squad to try to save Vince. They’re five cheerleaders (one of them being Dolph Ziggler) who beat up Shawn with their five man lifting slam, but Kenny misses a guillotine legdrop. Shawn gets their megaphone and beats all of them up while Vince is getting a breather. The breather allows Vince to get in a clothesline and take over for a bit.

McMahon rips off his own belt to whip and choke Shawn but his attempt at Sweet Chin Music is easily blocked. The forearm puts Vince down and there’s a whipping for Vince. There’s the top rope elbow but as Shawn tunes up the band, here’s Shane to blast him with a kendo stick. Shane pulls out handcuffs but before they tie Shawn up, Vince takes down his pants. Yeah they’re doing this at Wrestlemania. Shane tries to send Shawn’s face in but Michaels reverses and we get a very disturbing father/son bonding moment.

Shawn hits Vince low and handcuffs Shane to the ropes. After throwing the key into the crowd and doing Shane’s dance, Shawn pounds him with the kendo stick and pulls out a chair. A BIG chair shot cracks Vince’s head open even more than it already was. Instead of kicking Vince’s head off though, Shawn pulls out a ladder. After ramming that into Vince’s head too, Shawn pulls out some trashcans to beat on Vince with as well.

There’s a table thrown in too and this can’t end well. Vince is placed on the table but Shawn isn’t pleased with the ladder he’s got. Instead he gets the jumbo ladder and puts the trashcan over Vince’s head. Shawn climbs the jumbo ladder and drops the BIGGEST ELBOW EVER through Vince through the table. The Sweet Chin Music is the icing on the carnage and it’s finally over.

Rating: C+. This is a hard one to grade as it’s really closer to a long segment than a match. Shawn DESTROYED Vince here and that’s what the whole thing was supposed to be. Unfortunately this feud would keep going for about six more months with DX reuniting to fight Vince and all his cronies. Still though, it was certainly entertaining and that’s all it was supposed to be.

Vince is wheeled out on a stretcher but still manages to flip off Shawn. That’s so Vince.

Wrestlemania 23 is coming to Detroit.

We recap the Smackdown World Title match, or the Eddie Guerrero Tribute match. You can call it either thing really as they’re the same thing. Guerrero died five months ago and Rey dedicated his Royal Rumble performance to Eddie, so of course he won. Randy Orton told Rey that Eddie was burning, which was enough to get Rey to put his title shot on the line at No Way Out.

Rey lost, but Teddy Long made it a triple threat with Rey involved, even though Rey lost a fair bet to Orton. This gets the music video, set to I Dare You by Shinedown. Oh and Kurt Angle is world champion coming into this and couldn’t be more of an afterthought. He was in Wrestling Machine mode at this point though and was completely made of awesome.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton

P.O.D. plays Rey to the ring. Rey comes out in some freaky looking eagle headdress which I guess is a Mexican thing. During Angle’s entrance, Orton grabs the belt from the referee and blasts Kurt in the face to send him to the floor. Rey tries a springboard cross body but Orton dropkicks him out of the air for two. Angle is back in now for a German suplex on Orton before suplexing BOTH GUYS AT ONCE. Angle is amazing, period.

Orton hits his backbreaker on Angle for two of his own as this is very fast paced to start. A belly to belly puts Orton down and Kurt puts Randy on the top for something, but Rey charges at Angle to break it up. Angle instead launches Rey up at Randy who is taken down in a SWEET hurricanrana by the masked dude. The ankle lock to Orton is quickly broken up by Rey and a big kick to Kurt’s head gets two. The fans chant for the 619 but as Rey loads it up, Kurt grabs the legs into the ankle lock with the grapevine.

Orton distracts the referee as Rey taps before finally breaking up the hold. Angle starts busting out the Germans and an Angle Slam puts Rey on the floor. The ankle lock goes on Randy and there’s a grapevine for good measure. Orton taps but now Rey pulls the referee out and covers his eyes in a pretty brilliant move. Back to the ankle lock but Rey drops the dime on Angle to break it up. The fans are booing Rey for some reason.

Mysterio misses a charge into the corner and slams his shoulder into the corner. The Angle Slam to Orton is countered into an RKO but since this is Wrestlemania it only gets two. Randy limps to the top rope for some reason and you just don’t do that with Kurt Angle in the ring. There’s the running up the corner suplex but Rey tries the 619 around the post. I say try because he slips off the apron and has to just kick Angle in the head for two.

Angle is kicked to the floor and there’s an over the shoulder backbreaker into a neckbreaker for two on Rey. I love that move. Randy loads up the RKO but gets Angle Slammed for two for Kurt. The Angle Slam to Rey is escaped and an armdrag sends Angle to the floor. The 619 and West Coast Pop to Orton give Mysterio the title.

Rating: C-. Uh…..what? No seriously, where’s the rest of this match? The Smackdown World Title match with a new champion gets less than nine and a half minutes at Wrestlemania? It was entertaining while it lasted, but there are Smackdown main events that get twice the amount of time this got. Was Rey ever even in trouble in this match? I’m guessing the match got cut short, but we had nearly 20 minutes for Vince to get beaten up? This is a head scratcher if there’s ever been one.

Chavo and Vickie celebrate with Rey.

Cena and HHH are getting ready in the back.

Candace Michelle vs. Torrie Wilson

This is your Playboy match of the year. Lillian screwing up the hometowns is the most entertaining thing about this match. They’re in their underwear and this is a pillow fight. Torrie coming out to what would become Laycool’s music is rather odd. What do you want here? There’s a bed in the ring, stuff is turned over, Torrie wins after like FOUR MINUTES. Remember that: this got four minutes, the Smackdown World Title got nine.

Rating: F. Were you expecting more here? Next.

Video on the Wrestlemania press conference.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. John Cena

HHH, known as the King of Kings, is in what can best be described as viking attire and rises up out of the stage on a throne. He had Thor’s hammer next to him and a bottle of water in his hand which doesn’t quite fit. Before Cena comes out we get a newsreel about Chicago in the Great Depression. The stage raises up and a car from the 30s drives out, complete with machine gun toting gangsters (one of which was played by future WWE Champion and Cena rival CM Punk who we’ll get back to later).

Cena comes out in a fedora and the shorts shooting a Tommy gun. After the big match intros (the announcer introducing them when they’re in opposite corners) we’re ready to go. HHH grabs a quick hammerlock and takes Cena down to frustrate him a bit. Cena gets caught in a wristlock and sent into the corner again as the fans tell Cena that he sucks. All HHH so far. With nothing else working, Cena tries a quick FU but gets punched in the face. After about four minutes of nothing significant, Cena is thrown to the floor, only to come back in with right hands.

A quick fisherman’s suplex gets two for Cena and it’s off to a chinlock by the champ. The fans tell Cena that he can’t wrestle and HHH fights up. A hard whip sends HHH over the corner and out to the floor but he pokes Cena in the eye to break Cena’s momentum. HHH can’t piledrive Cena on the floor though and gets backdropped onto the steel instead. Back in and HHH hits the jumping knee to the face to a big reaction.

Back to the floor we go and Cena is whipped hard into the steps. They head inside again for a facebuster from the challenger and a big old clothesline for two. A neckbreaker gets the same as the fans alternate between “screw you Cena” and “Cena sucks.” Off to a neck crank by the Game which is transitioned into a sleeper and then a chinlock. The champ shoves him off and hits a clothesline to put both guys down again. Back up and Cena fires off some more clotheslines followed by a powerslam for no cover.

The spinning mat slam puts HHH down but the Game pops up for a spinebuster to block the Shuffle. Back to the sleeper but Cena almost immediately suplexes his way out of it. Now the Shuffle hits and there’s Cena’s new submission hold the STFU. HHH grabs a rope but Cena is in the zone now. The FU is countered but Cena is shoved into the referee.

HHH hits both of them low and gets the sledgehammer which goes upside Cena’s head. Since this is Wrestlemania though it only gets two instead of putting Cena in need of perpetual care. Back up and HHH charges into the FU for two so Cena goes up top. A cross body misses and HHH tries the Pedigree, only to be countered into the STF. With nowhere else to go, HHH taps out and keeps the title on Cena.

Rating: B-. This is one of the recurring problems with HHH matches: when he tries to have a big epic match it rarely works. Cena got a solid rub out of beating him here but at the same time the match wasn’t all that great. It felt like a way to make Cena a big deal rather than have a match between the two of them. It also didn’t help that there was no real issue between the two of them.

A highlight package ends the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This is one of the most forgettable Wrestlemanias in history. There’s nothing of note on here, none of the matches are great other than a middle of the show hardcore match which led to some great stuff. Batista being gone hurt this show a lot as Cena wasn’t quite ready to shoulder the weight of Wrestlemania yet. It’s not horrible, but it’s totally forgettable and not required viewing at all.

Ratings Comparison

Big Show/Kane vs. Carlito/Chris Masters

Original: D+

Redo: C

Rob Van Dam vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Ric Flair vs. Finlay vs. Matt Hardy vs. Bobby Lashley

Original: B

Redo: B

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Benoit

Original: D+

Redo: C+

Edge vs. Mick Foley

Original: A

Redo: A

Boogeyman vs. Booker T/Sharmell

Original: F

Redo: F

Mickie James vs. Trish Stratus

Original: B

Redo: B-

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

Original: D

Redo: D+

Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton

Original: D+

Redo: C-

Torrie Wilson vs. Candice Michelle

Original: F

Redo: F

HHH vs. John Cena

Original: A-

Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: D+

In the first one I said it wasn’t something I’d want to see again. Apparently that was accurate as the rating PLUNGED on a second viewing.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/29/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-22-i-barely-remember-this-show/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6