Oh yeah they do pay per views around here. Impact is in a promising place for a change as they move to AXS TV later this month and have one big show to get through first. There are some good looking matches on the card and that means the show should work. This company’s pay per views have a tendency to be pretty good and this is their biggest of the year so hopefully the trend holds. Let’s get to it.

Rascalz vs. Dr. Wagner Jr./Aero Star/Taurus

This is one of those matches that should follow a pretty logical path but you never can tell with this company. The idea here is simple: take an Impact trip and have them face three luchadors, but it might not be as obvious as it seems. The Rascalz lost a trios match last week on Impact, so would it be that crazy to see it happen again? Given the amount of international guest stars this show has, they certainly seem to be important around here.

I’ll take the luchadors to win here as I really do think Impact would rather use them as jobbers for the three international stars. What this does for Impact going forward isn’t clear, but I guess they don’t think their shows will work people from outside the company to make them watchable. That has been the case around here for far too long and it seems to be the case here, as the Rascalz lose.

Call Your Shot Gauntlet Match

So this is a match where the winner gets the title shot of their choosing. That’s a fine idea, but there is one problem here: it isn’t clear who all is in the match. We know a few names though and that should be enough to make some sense of the thing. The problem though is there is always the chance of some kind of a surprise twist, which won’t make a lot of sense but they’ll go with it anyway.

I’ll take Tessa Blanchard to win here as it still seems that Impact wants her to be World Champion. She clearly still has issues with OVE and that means putting her against Sami Callihan and the newly won World Title. It’s the kind of thing that they seem to want to go for and while it wouldn’t be the biggest stretch, it might be too much too soon. I can see the thinking there though and I’ll go with that over some wild card winner, which is equally possible.

Ken Shamrock vs. Moose

So yeah, this is something that is taking place too, because we need that seventeen year old nostalgia for someone who was in the company for….what a few months or so? I’m not sure how bad this is going to be but there is a chance of VERY bad, which is about what you have to expect at this point from Shamrock. He has wrestled a handful of matches this year so he won’t be entirely rusty, but this still has the potential to be a terrible result.

For the sake of my sanity, I’ll go with Moose winning, because Shamrock should only be here for the sake of putting him over. I’m not sure how much value there is in that or why it needs to take place on the biggest show of the year, but it could be passable if they keep it to about five minutes. This doesn’t come off as a good idea, but as long as they avoid disaster, fine enough.

Tag Team Titles: The North(c) vs. Rich Swann/Willie Mack vs. Rob Van Dam/Rhino

Much like Moose vs. Shamrock, this is a case where they’ll be fine if they don’t do something stupid. I really wasn’t feeling the idea of Van Dam and Rhino getting a title shot but as long as they don’t walk out as champions, it really doesn’t hurt anything. The North have turned into a treat and one of the better tag teams going today, which I never would have bet when they first showed up.

You could go in two different directions here but the more I think about it, the more I think the North retains. Swann and Mack winning would make for a better moment, but I don’t think that’s where they are going. The match should be entertaining and you can have the ECW guys get in their stuff in the right spots. Put this together well and you could have a heck of a supporting match on your hands.

X-Division Title: Jake Crist(c) vs. Daga vs. Tessa Blanchard vs. Rohit Raju vs. Sabu vs. Ace Austin

This is a ladder match and WHAT THE HECK DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS ONE??? Of all the people in the world, we need Raju and Sabu in this thing? Was there any need to have those two in here instead of just going with the other four and having a fun match as a result? Sabu will likely get in his big dive and the people can chant ECW and hopefully he doesn’t die. Now with the nostalgia out of the way, we can move on to something else.

I think I’ll go with Austin here, as he is someone they seem intent on pushing. Give him the title so they can continue the Edwards vs. Austin feud for the title, if nothing else so we can get more Austin creepiness. It’s either going to be him or Crist, as I don’t want to see Blanchard win the title like this. If they want to make her a big deal, a future pinfall makes a lot more sense than having her win a ladder match, which can come off as luck more than skill.

Knockouts Title: Taya Valkyrie(c) vs. Tenille Dashwood

I’m really not sure what to expect with this one as Valkyrie has held the title for a long time but I can’t picture Dashwood being the one to take it from her. Dashwood is the kind of star who should be the big breakout deal but ever since her debut outside of WWE, the spark just hasn’t been there and I’m not sure they’ll make her champion here.

So yeah I’ll go with Valkyrie retaining, but I don’t think she’s going to keep the title that much longer. There are a lot of Knockouts stories going on in Impact at the moment and they don’t all have to do with the title. Havok seems to be next in line and I don’t think Valkyrie gets by her. Dashwood can be awesome, but she seems to be living off of her reputation at the moment and that isn’t great.

Michael Elgin vs. Naomichi Marufuji

It’s another guest star here as Marufuji is a big deal in Pro Wrestling Noah and since Elgin has a long career in Japan, this is what we’re getting. The match is likely to be very good, though it brings up the most common problem with this kind of match: why should I care about Marufuchi? Other than “he’s from Japan”, there isn’t much to go on with him here and it shows badly.

There is no reason to go against Elgin here as Marufuji is only here to put him over. The match is likely to be hard hitting and entertaining, but I just can’t imagine anything other than an Elgin Bomb for the pin. Elgin came into Impact red hot and has cooled down a bit, but he should be fine enough to get the win here. If nothing else, he’s the one sticking around and why have him lose otherwise?

Impact Wrestling World Title: Brian Cage(c) vs. Sami Callihan

Now this one is actually intriguing as the story of Callihan attacking Cage’s new wife is something that has some legs to it. Cage is a physical freak and should be able to destroy Callihan, but with the OVE lackeys and Cage being so furious, maybe they can pull off some kind of a surprise here. If nothing else, it’s nice to see Cage actually defend the belt after he won it six months ago.

That being said, I think I’ll go with Callihan winning here. They’re setting up the Ultimate Warrior vs. Rick Rude formula from Summerslam 1990 as Callihan has defeated Cage before, but this time around I think Callihan takes the title. Cage has barely done anything with it due to injuries and scheduling issues, so giving it to Callihan, who has been built up for a long time, makes a lot of sense.

Overall Thoughts

There really are a lot of guest stars on this show and I’m not seeing that as a good sign for the future. It’s like they don’t believe in their own talent enough and that isn’t exactly encouraging. What matters here though is getting a good show out there so we can move into the AXS TV era on a high note, and there is a good reason to believe that they could pull it off. Things will have to go right in a very specific way, but there is a path here and that’s as good as anything else. I’m curious about this one and that hasn’t been the case with Impact for a long time.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 27, 2019
Location: Sam’s Town Hotel And Gaming Hall, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Don Callis, Josh Matthews

It’s time for a wedding! We’re in Las Vegas and that means we need to do something big, which may or may not work out very well. I mean, it’s a wrestling wedding so I wouldn’t expect it to go well but you never know. It’s a big night for Brian Cage and Melissa Santos so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening video looks at Brian and Melissa’s relationship, which is just so well documented around here. I mean, it’s known outside of Impact but it’s not something that has been focused on around here.

We have a special correspondent and GAIL KIM is the first guest. She’s excited to be here, believe it or not.

Here’s the North, in LAX gear and to LAX music. Ethan Page talks about how the fans were expecting something else. They came out here looking like idiots and fans cheered for them anyway. Josh Alexander talks about how this is a serious place and sacred ground but the fans are making him sick.

They are the Tag Team Champions and they’ll make you forget who LAX was. You CANNOT have LAX back so stop talking online about how much you miss them. Konnan doesn’t have the power to overturn the North so here’s Konnan to interrupt. He rants about how stupid they are but has some new people to come after the titles. Cue Rhino and Rob Van Dam so let’s ring the bell.

Rob Van Dam/Rhino vs. The North

Non-title I believe. The champs get sent outside and we take an early break. Back with Van Dam monkey flipping Alexander and hitting Rolling Thunder for two. It’s off to Rhino to punch Page in the corner and run him over with a shoulder. Van Dam comes back in and gets taken into the champs’ corner with Alexander hitting a suplex for two of his own. Some right hands and a kick to the face get Rob out of trouble and Rhino comes back in for the running shoulders in the corner. Everything breaks down and Rhino runs Alexander over, setting up the Five Star for the pin at 6:42.

Rating: D+. There’s your Bound For Glory title match and as long as the titles don’t change hands (which they shouldn’t), everything is fine coming out of this. The ECW guys are going to be around no matter what and hopefully we still get what should be Willie Mack and Rich Swann’s spot at the pay per view. A triple threat makes sense here, at least after this match.

Impact moves to AXS TV on October 1….for some specials, with the real show beginning on October 29 but close enough.

Gama Singh yells at the Desi Hit Squad and praises Mahabali Shera as the savior of the team.

Back to the wedding, where there are only wrestlers as guests of course. Reno Scum yells at a somewhat disheveled Eddie Edwards. Johnny Swinger comes in to say people watch him on ECW after Rockin Bowl. Oh……move on.

Mahabali Shera vs. Cousin Jake

Jake swings away to start but gets knocked down and chokes a lot. Shera misses a charge in the corner so Jake throws a running shoulder into the corner, only to have Shera come right back with a World’s Strongest Slam for the pin at 2:34.

Post match the beatdown continues as this feud must continue.

TJP and Fallah Bahh argue about their wedding attires. Eddie seems drunk.

Madison Rayne vs. Tenille Dashwood

They fight over a wristlock as the announcers argue over how many times Rayne has been Knockouts Champion. Rayne takes her down and brags a lot, earning herself a basement dropkick. They slug it out on the floor with Dashwood kicking her in the face, only to miss a charge into the corner back inside.

Rayne tells a fan to “shut up old lady” and grabs the chinlock to keep things slow. Back up and a cutter gives Rayne two but another missed charge lets Dashwood hit the Taste of Tenille. The Spotlight Kick misses so it’s a neckbreaker for Rayne instead, setting up the Spotlight Kick to give Dashwood the pin at 8:12.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here with Dashwood winning a match that she was almost guaranteed to win. Rayne is fine as a midcard heel and the Locker Room Leader deal is growing on me a little bit. They need someone to go after the title though and Dashwood would seem to be the best option.

Rob Van Dam and Katie Forbes arrive at the wedding and are greeted by Rich Swann and Willie Mack. A discussion over the Tag Team Title shot at Bound For Glory ensues.

Dashwood gets the Knockouts Title shot at Bound For Glory. As she should…..I think.

Here’s Ken Shamrock (looking rather aged) for his big return. He has some great memories of being in this ring and he thanks the fans for their support. Shamrock was talking to Brian Cage when Moose interrupted and bragged about all of his skills, but Ken isn’t impressed. Now Moose isn’t here, meaning his whereabouts are like his resume: NOTHING. We get the call out but Moose comes up on screen from Shamrock’s gym. Some yelling ensues and Moose beats up a guy in a cage. This is totally different than when he did the same thing at the American Top Team gym when he was feuding with Bobby Lashley.

Taya Valkyrie asks Rosemary for help against Dashwood but doesn’t like Taya’s whining attitude. Until the old Taya is back, Rosemary will be no help. Taya even offers her a dress, which is thrown onto the floor.

Bound For Glory rundown.

Flashback Moment of the Week: Eric Young marries ODB.

OVE is not allowed into the reception.

Tommy Dreamer gives Brian Cage a pep talk about the wedding when Cage’s brother Ryan comes in. Dreamer finds his rather normal appearance amusing.

Rayne coaches the bridal party on how to walk down the aisle. Taya comes in and says she needs help with Dashwood.

Tessa Blanchard vs. Dave Crist

Jake Crist and Madman Fulton are here too and the winner goes on to an X-Division Title ladder match at Bound For Glory. Tessa hammers away to start so Dave kicks at the leg to no avail. A trip to the floor lets Fulton choke Tessa a bit, which is good for a quick ejection. Back in and Dave chokes in the corner and hits her in the back of the head, allowing Jake to get in his own choking. Tessa rolls him up for two but gets caught in something like a Go To Sleep for the same. A missed double stomp out of the corner misses as well and Tessa grabs the buzzsaw DDT for the pin at 6:20.

Rating: C-. The interference got annoying but it’s nice to see Tessa get the pin off a move instead of a fluke rollup. There is little to no reason to not put the X-Division Title on her at Bound For Glory now that her World Title chances are done. It might not be the coolest moment in the world but it’s a big deal and another step forward now that she has nothing left to do in the Knockouts diviison.

Post match Fulton is back in for a chokeslam.

Rayne tells Alisha Edwards to keep a better eye on her husband so Ace Austin can escort her at the wedding.

It’s time for the wedding with the Rascalz coughing a lot and the Deaners hitting on Jessika Havok. Rohit Raju is crying and Gama Singh has to glare at him to break it up. Taya glares at Rosemary for not wearing the dress she brought her but gets told to keep walking. In something that absolutely shouldn’t surprise me, Dreamer walks Melissa down the aisle.

Ryan is officiating the ceremony but hang on as Taya needs to brag about everything she has done. Ethan Page has objections….to how the company is run and wants royalty money. Eddie Edwards staggers in and vomits on Ryan before trying to beat up Austin. Dreamer asks if anyone can run the wedding. Cue James Mitchell to say you asked for a minister. He goes through their vows, gives Melissa his card just in case, and pronounces them man and wife. The reception is in the ring. Dreamer: “Right after this commercial break.”

Back from a break and they come into the ring for the first dance…and here’s Sami Callihan to sing his rendition of Here Comes The Bride. He’s here for a party instead of a fight because he’ll take the title at Bound For Glory. Sami wants to beat the Machine Brian Cage, and that’s his toast to the bride and the b****. Cage comes at him and Sami hits Melissa with a bottle to end the show as Sami knows he screwed up. The segment was a little long but the jokes at the reception were rather funny and the angle at the end worked well.

Overall Rating: C-. The big angle at the end helped a lot and felt like a big deal, which is really the first time that has happened in a long time. That’s been the biggest problem for Impact for a long while now: nothing they do feels like it matters and it needs to change in their busy season. Maybe the move to AXS can help, but there are some things holding them back, with some of their roster being near the top of the list. Not a bad show, but it needs more of the latter than the first half.

Results

Rhino/Rob Van Dam b. The North – Five Star Frog Splash to Alexander

Mahabali Shera b. Cousin Jake – World’s Strongest Slam

Tenille Dashwood b. Madison Rayne – Spotlight Kick

Tessa Blanchard b. Dave Crist – Hammerlock DDT

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 20, 2019
Location: Fronton Mexico, Mexico City, Mexico
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Don Callis

I’m pretty sure this is the final show in Mexico and that might be the best thing for everyone involved. These shows haven’t been the most consistent with a cross between horrible and entertaining enough. Tonight is all about LAX, who are having their farewell match before heading off to AEW. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Instead of the usual opening sequence, we get a nice retrospective on Santana and Ortiz, which is more than deserved.

Opening sequence.

OVE vs. Tessa Blanchard/Rob Van Dam/Rhino/Tommy Dreamer

Street fight so the slugout is on in a hurry. Sami and Van Dam are left alone in the ring with Rob kicking him down and hitting Rolling Thunder. Tessa and Jake take their places with Tessa crotching him in the corner to take over. The running Codebreaker out of the corner puts them both on the floor so it’s Fulton coming back in to slug it out with Rhino. With Rhino not having the best luck, Dreamer comes back in and hits a cutter on Fulton, who pops back up with a big boot.

Dave gets backdropped onto the pile at ringside and Tommy follows with the fall (there was a lack of diving) off the top. Van Dam hits his own flip dive, leaving Sami vs. Tessa inside. Another cutter drops Sami but Dave superplexes Tessa onto the pile again. Back in and Rhino no sells a suplex from Sami and it’s time for the parade of people knocking each other down with one shot. Tessa tornado DDTs Fulton but he’s right back up with a gorilla press so Jake can come in off the top with a big cutter.

Dreamer and Van Dam bring in a kendo stick with Rhino sliding in a table for a bonus. Before Dave can go through it though, Sami low blows Dreamer and Rhino. Dreamer grabs Sami with a groin claw though and Rhino Gores Dave through the table. The Five Star hits Jake and Tessa puts on the Crossface with the kendo stick to make Jake tap at 9:49.

Rating: C+. Not bad here with the ECW people being rather unnecessary supporting stars for Tessa. In theory this should set her up for the X-Division Title shot at Bound For Glory while the ECW people do….whatever it is that they do when they’re not on Impact. It was a pretty entertaining match, but I can’t help sighing whenever the ECW guys show up.

Ace Austin shows up in a wheelchair and neck brace but promises to be here for Alisha Edwards. He smirks at the camera after she leaves. This is another example of a story that would be over as soon as anyone involved watched the show.

We see LAX’s first Tag Team Title win.

The North is ready to celebrate LAX leaving, and they even have a pinata.

The announcers preview the show.

Alisha Edwards vs. Taya Valkyrie

Non-title. Alisha mocks Taya’s gyrating entrance and gets taken down for some right hands to the head. Cue Ace in his wheelchair as Taya chokes in the corner. Alisha manages to send her into the corner and hits a basement dropkick, followed by a Downward Spiral for two as John E. Bravo put Taya’s foot on the rope. Ace pops out of the chair and does his handstand on the apron into the kick to Bravo, with Alisa somehow not seeing any of it. Taya gets in a cheap shot and hits the Road To Valhalla for the pin at 3:24.

Rating: D. This story isn’t doing much for me whenever Eddie isn’t involved as Alisha isn’t all that good. Taya needs a big time opponent for Bound For Glory and I’m not sure who that is going to be. There are a lot of possible options but none of them really stand out above the others. The bigger problem though is Alisha looking rather ridiculous to not get what is going on, as apparently NO ONE in the company has told her a thing about what is going on in the ring and backstage.

Post match Alisha checks on Ace.

The North is looking for people to join their party (with Alexander no selling the whole thing). They run into Rob Van Dam and Rhino, the latter of whom rips up their pinata. I think we have our new #1 contenders.

Gama Singh introduces Mahabali Shera as the newest member of the Desi Hit Squad.

Mahabali Shera vs. Cody Deaner

Shera drives him straight into the corner and starts hammering away, followed by a neckbreaker to keep Cody in trouble. Cody slugs away and hits a suicide dive onto the rest of the Squad, only to dive into a chokeslam back inside. A World’s Strongest Slam ends Cody at 2:47. Shera looks great now but the Squad’s entire gimmick of being from India is still not enough to make me care.

Classic LAX moment: the street fight with the OGz.

We get what looks to be a glitch as Melissa Santos pops up with headphones in her ears, looking like she’s ready for a Skype interview before disappearing after about a second.

Rascalz vs. Australian Suicide/Toxin/Arez

The Rascalz jump the not quite named luchadors to start and hit stereo suicide dives. We settle down to Trey wristdragging Australian into a dropkick to the floor. Toxin comes in for a bunch of flips into a brainbuster to send Trey outside, with Dezmond flipping in to strike away. Arez comes in for a backbreaker on Dezmond so Wentz comes back in for a springboard spinning crossbody.

The Rascalz are sent outside for a big corkscrew dive from Toxin, followed by dives from the other two. Back in and the Rascalz are fine enough to hit a Burning Hammer/top rope double stomp combination to Toxin but Australian makes a save with a moonsault. A superkick into the push moonsault finishes Australian at 4:38.

Rating: C. This is the kind of match that is always going to work because it’s such pure insanity that is just entertaining. I’m not sure who the Rascalz will be fighting at Bound For Glory but it better be someone rather big, as the team deserves a high profile match. They don’t seem to get that around here, but they should be getting one.

Moose is walking the streets of Mexico City and looks for a fight. He finds and wins one while shouting for Ken Shamrock.

Various wrestlers (including Tommy Dreamer of course) are in Las Vegas for Brian Cage’s bachelor party. More on this later.

We get a sitdown interview with Tenille Dashwood, who is happy to be here because she hasn’t faced a lot of the Knockouts. She wrestled Taya Valkyrie in Taya’s first match and it went badly for Taya. Now it’s all about her.

Jessika Havok vs. Su Yung

No DQ. Havok has a staple gun and jumps Su during the entrance to start the fighting in a hurry. Su gets in a few shots of her own but Havok follows her outside. Old School on the barricade is easily broken up and it’s time for a ladder to be brought in. Su grabs a hanging Pedigree and dodges a charge in the corner to send Havok into a chair. Yung grabs the staple gun and stabs Havok in the….somewhere, setting up a cannonball off the apron. The bloody glove is loaded up but Havok Tombstones her for the pin at 6:07.

Rating: D+. This feud hasn’t been interesting since the start as it’s been so all over the place that it’s hard to keep track of why they’re fighting in the first place. Or maybe it’s just not interesting enough to make me want to keep track of the thing. Yung was interesting when she came in but they booked her like any other Knockout for so long that the impact is long gone.

Post match Su pops up and Mandible Claws Havok before pelting a chair at her head. They fight to the back with a quickly edited brawl up a stairwell. Havok grabs a rope and hangs Su over the stairs….and we see the legs hanging as we have our latest murder.

And now, Melissa Santos’ bachelorette party with the Knockouts attending and Taya making it all about her. Joey Ryan shows up as the stripper and I’ve seen more convincing acting on Total Divas.

Cage’s bachelor party includes him eating a bunch of cheat foods. Dreamer: “This is kind of turning me on.”

Classic LAX: Barbed Wire Massacre III vs. OVE.

Flashback Moment of the Week: Shane Douglas vs. Raven in a hair vs. hair match from 2003.

Next week: Johnny Swinger.

Bound For Glory rundown.

LAX vs. Rich Swann/Willie Mack

Everyone shakes hands to start as they’re all friends here. Santana and Swann start things off and it’s an early trip to the mat for a standoff. They both flip out of hurricanrana attempts so Swann hits a dropkick for the first real offense. Santana takes him into the corner though and it’s Ortiz coming in for the rapid fire double teaming. Ortiz slaps on a Boston crab but it’s quickly back to Santana, who gets armdragged into the corner.

It’s off to Mack, who gets double dropkicked for his efforts. Mack and Swann are fine enough to run Santana over and put him in trouble for the first time. Ortiz gets caught in a Samoan drop so the standing moonsault can connect for two. Back from a break with Ortiz being caught in the wrong corner for more chops. The chinlock goes on for a bit until Ortiz jawbreaks his way to freedom.

Ortiz manages to drop Mack though and it’s a double knockdown for a breather. The hot(ish) tag brings in Santana for a running kick to Mack’s chest as everything breaks down. Ortiz comes back in off a blind tag and an assisted powerslam gets two. Everything breaks down and a reverse Razor’s Edge/top rope flipping neckbreaker plant Santana for two more.

A dragon screw legwhip drops Mack and a powerbomb puts Swann down but Santana can’t cover. Two more powerbomb get two on Swann but somehow he’s fine enough to slip out of the Street Sweeper. The super hurricanrana sets up Mack’s frog splash for two, followed by a bunch of kicks to Santana’s head. The handspring cutter into the Stunner into the Phoenix splash into the frog splash finish Santana and LAX at 18:38.

Rating: B. This worked well and that shouldn’t be surprising in the slightest. LAX has been one of the best teams in the world for a very long time now and it is no shock that they can have a very good match with a team as good as Swann and Mack. They deserve the big sendoff and that’s what they got, as the AEW Tag Team Titles are next up.

The locker room comes out to send LAX off.

Su Yung wakes up in the hospital. Apparently she’s murder proof.

Overall Rating: C-. The main event helped but it’s clear that there are a lot of things on this show that aren’t working. It feels like so many of the stories are just thrown together with no direction in mind and they’re hoping for the best. Bound For Glory is looking ok at best, as we spent this week with two Tommy Dreamer segments, the ECW guys being set up as title contenders and a case of murder before a nice sendoff. That’s as all over the place as you can get and while they still have time, it’s not making Bound For Glory look great.

Results

Tessa Blanchard/Rob Van Dam/Rhino/Tommy Dreamer b. OVE – Crossface with a kendo stick to Dave Crist

Taya Valkyrie b. Alisha Edwards – Road To Valhalla

Mahabali Shera b. Cody Deaner – World’s Strongest Slam

Rascalz b. Toxin/Arez/Australian Suicide – Push moonsault to Australian Suicide

Jessika Havok b. Su Yung – Tombstone

Rich Swann/Willie Mack b. LAX – Frog splash to Santana

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 6, 2019
Location: Fronton Mexico, Mexico City, Mexico
Commentators: Don Callis, Josh Matthews

We’re still down in Mexico and hopefully things are better this week. Last time around, the show wasn’t worth watching with a bunch of matches featuring guest stars from Mexico and little in the way of major storyline developments. Hopefully things get better this time around as we’re getting closer to the build to Bound For Glory. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

Havok vs. Su Yung

Yung goes straight to the jabs to start (that’s more aggressive than I would have expected) but Havok sends her into the corner to start the pummeling. Some head first rams into the buckle knock Yung silly but the big leg misses. A running knee to the face gives Yung two, which just annoys Havok again. That means a chokebomb into a Boston crab with Yung having to bail to the ropes.

An anklescissors sends Havok face first into the middle buckle and the Mandible Claw goes on. Havok powers out but gets low bridged to the floor so Yung can flip dive off the apron. Since Havok is a monster, she’s right back up to drop Yung face first into the apron. With nothing else working, Su mists her for the DQ at 6:03.

Rating: C+. I don’t remember seeing Yung this aggressive in a long time and the match worked well as a result. It felt like Yung was in a fight and Havok was trying to destroy her. Their feud seems to be one based on who is more of a monster/evil, so the matches being more violent makes sense. You can all but guarantee some kind of gimmick match at Bound For Glory.

The North’s game plan for tonight: be the best tag team in the world and get rid of LAX.

Sami Callihan and OVE can’t wait to find out what happens to the World Title because it’s coming to Sami soon. Oh and Mad Man Fulton is going to finish Rob Van Dam and Sami has a nice jacket.

Moose vs. Fallah Bahh

Rubber match. Bahh is ticked off and splashes him in the corner at the bell to start fast. Moose misses a big chop and gets punched in the face, followed by a toss across the ring. Another shot to the face drops Moose but he goes to the eyes to cut him off. Just because he can, Moose runs up the corner for a spinning crossbody to drop Bahh. That lasts all of a second as Bahh pops up and turns Moose inside out with a clothesline. The Banzai Drop gets two and it’s No Jackhammer Needed to finish Bahh at 4:06.

Rating: C. You would think that a monster like Bahh losing weight would hurt him but he’s actually improved in the ring. Maybe it’s the weight loss adding speed but his matches have gotten better, possibly because he doesn’t have to rely on his size for everything anymore. If nothing else, the weight loss has turned into a bit of a story for him. Call that a nice little surprise, which is always appreciated.

Post match Moose puts Bahh in an ankle lock (he needs work) and screams about Ken Shamrock.

Tessa Blanchard yells at Tommy Dreamer, who she needs to help her get rid of OVE. Tommy tells her to calm down but she wants to know if he’s in or out. Tommy Dreamer is always in. Everywhere.

Alisha Edwards tells Eddie Edwards that she would never cheat on him but an unidentified female wrestler comes up to hit on him. Ace Austin comes up to check on Alisha but she leaves.

TJP vs. Golden Magic

Fallout from last week where Magic won a four way also involving TJP. They fight over wrist control to start until TJP gets in his headscissor takeovers. Magic snaps the throat across the top rope and hits the springboard flip dive to the floor as we take a break. Back with Magic being put in the Tree of Woe for a running dropkick, followed by the slingshot hilo for two. A front chancery doesn’t get TJP anywhere as Magic is right back up with something close to a Disaster Kick, only to have TJP roll some suplexes. A Swanton misses though and Magic hits a cool springboard twisting cutter to put TJP outside again.

That means a slingshot splash to the floor, which you won’t see very often. Back in and Magic is fine enough to hit the same Big Ending spun into a DDT that he used last week for two here. TJP’s brainbuster gets the same but Magic is right back with a springboard hurricanrana out of the corner. A dropkick to the leg takes Magic down but Magic follows him up top for a moonsault World’s Strongest Slam. The 450 misses though and TJP kneebars him for the tap at 10:09.

Rating: B-. This was your battle of the high fliers doing a bunch of big spots to each other, but TJP is the kind of guy who can pull throw in enough other stuff to add a different dimension to the match. I liked this one a good bit and could go for more TJP, who just looks like he gets it so much more than a lot of people.

Austin is about to pay off the mystery woman from earlier but Alisha shows up and he changes his tune in a hurry, saying he won’t pay for her services.

Flashback Moment of the Week: AJ Styles beats Sting at Bound For Glory 2009.

Taya Valkyrie is annoyed that things aren’t all about her and now Tenille Dashwood is coming to take her spotlight.

Johnny Swinger vignette, bragging about the size of his arms. This is really happening.

Dashwood is glad to be here when Madison Rayne and Kiera Hogan show up and tell her to go to the back of the line. She’s willing to fight anyone in the line right now so Madison makes Dashwood vs. Hogan for next week.

Mad Man Fulton vs. Rob Van Dam

Sami Callihan fires Fulton up before the bell so Van Dam starts slowly kicking at the leg. Fulton gets a hand around the throat so more kicks are required to save Van Dam. A dropkick to the knee and a spinwheel kick put Fulton on the floor so it’s the flip dive from the apron to put him down again. Fulton is fine enough to send him into the apron though and the beatdown is on. The swinging Rock Bottom is countered into a rollup to give Van Dam two and he kicks Fulton in the face again. Rolling Thunder connects but Dave Crist breaks up the Five Star for the DQ at 6:26.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have the time to go anywhere as a long stretch at the beginning was spent circling each other. Fulton can be a good monster so having Van Dam put him in this kind of trouble doesn’t exactly make him seem like a threat. At least it’s a star like Van Dam instead of someone much lower on the food chain, but Fulton shouldn’t be selling this much.

Post match Van Dam fights them both off and hits the Five Star on Dave.

Melissa Santos promiss answers on the future of the World Title tonight.

The Rascalz get in a fight in the clubhouse when Rich Swann and Willie Mack come in. Highness ensues and they’ll watch the LAX vs. North match together.

The Deaners are impressed with what the Desi Hit Squad have done on the farm. Now it’s time to go into the lake, with Raju being sent into the water.

Jordynne Grace goes to see Rosemary, who needs to stay out of her way. Rosemary says the Shadow told her to save Grace so get over it.

Konnan gives LAX a final pep talk.

Tag Team Titles: The North vs. LAX

LAX is challenging and this is titles vs. careers. Alexander drives Santana into the corner to start so Santana takes him down by the arm. Ortiz comes in for his falling splash and we take an early break. Back with everything breaking down and Ortiz chopping away at Page on the floor while Alexander works on Santana’s knee. Things settle back down with Santana getting beaten down in the corner but rolling over for the hot tag to Ortiz just a few seconds later.

A superkick/sitout powerbomb combination gets two on Alexander but an assisted implant DDT drops Ortiz right back. The double Neuralizer only gets two so the champs try their own Street Sweeper. That’s broken up as everything breaks down again but this time time the real Street Sweeper is blocked. The assisted spinebuster gets rid of LAX for good at 9:13.

Rating: B-. The lack of time hurt here as this felt like the kind of match that needed to be twenty minutes instead of less than half of that. LAX going to AEW is a good move for them as there is nothing left for them here, but at the same time they deserve a big sendoff here. The North had to beat them for their big definitive moment so it all makes sense, but it’s sad to see LAX go after they’ve been so good for the last year plus.

LAX and Konnan get a quick pose and that’s it for them.

Here are Brian Cage and Melissa Santos to address the World Title situation. Cage talks about how he spent fourteen years trying to become World Champion but he never expected how things went. He should be back in about six weeks to defend the title against Sami Callihan at Bound For Glory. The one positive to being injured has been that he has been able to spend more time with Melissa, which brings him to his most important thing. That would be a proposal, with Melissa saying yes to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. MUCH better show this week and one of the better ones they’ve done in a few weeks. The wrestling was mostly good up and down the card with only the Van Dam vs. Fulton match not being good to rather good. The only problem here was the timing of the Tag Team Title match, especially when the big closing angle was Cage announcing the Bound For Glory main event and proposing. That’s something that can be done later while LAX gets more time. Anyway, good show here and hopefully they can continue that roll.

Results

Havok b. Su Yung via DQ when Yung misted her

Moose b. Fallah Bahh – No Jackhammer Needed

TJP b. Golden Magic – Kneebar

Rob Van Dam b. Mad Man Fulton via DQ when Dave Crist interfered

The North b. LAX – Assisted spinebuster to Santana

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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With Summerslam finally out of the way, I had some extra time and started back in on the pile of DVDs I bought a few weeks back.  I took care of this one, which was the first of the set so far that had actual wrestling (shocking I know).  Let’s get to it.

Bigelow is an interesting case as he’s one of the first high flying big men to gain prominence in America.  He had a very unique look with a lot of size that could move around, but that head tattoo is one of the best trademarks you’ll ever see.  He was always someone to watch and would have been a main event player back in the late 1980s had his knees not given out (and had he not been as loyal to Japan).  If nothing else, he was the first wrestler whose name I could say as a baby, though given that my first word was cranium (I don’t get it either), I don’t know how much of a positive that is.

What we have here is a collection of very random matches and parts of a 1998 shoot interview.  The interview itself is about two hours and forty five minutes but we only get about forty five minutes here.  What we do get is rather entertaining though as Bigelow is a pretty good interview, talking about everywhere he’s been (which is a lot of places) and speaking highly of himself, but not going insane.  He has praise for some people and criticisms for others so it’s not like he’s going nuts or anything.  At the same time, his discussions of what happens when you have no competition and a billionaire comes along with a bunch of money to invest in wrestling hold up 21 years later in an almost eerie manner.  I could go for the whole interview as what we got was intriguing stuff.

The matches….I don’t get it.  I understand that they could only use certain stuff so we have an indy match, a pair of ECW fancam matches and a short clip from a Memphis match in 1986, but there’s one problem: Bigelow goes 1-3 in these matches, including losing a title in one of them.  If the set is supposed to be a nice look at Bigelow, who in the world thought showing him losing most of the time was a good idea?

The whole thing only runs about an hour and a half so it’s a very quick sit with one good match and some interesting stuff in the interview, so this was as easy of a DVD as you could sit through.  The other three matches combine to be about as long as the good one so even they don’t weigh it down too much.  It’s a nice entry, but it feels like it was put together without thinking things through.  Bigelow isn’t going to get the big WWE DVD release so this is about all you can ask for.

And now, the matches.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Samu
Date: November 6, 1998
Location: Patterson Catholic High School, Patterson, New Jersey
Commentators: Unknown

This is from an Independent Superstars of Professional Wrestling (ISPW) event. Samu (Roman Reigns’ father) is a pretty big guy as well, though nowhere near as big as Bigelow of course. Commentary talks about Bigelow being a champion everywhere in the world. And that’s very true, assuming you leave out the two biggest companies he had worked for so far. Samu jumps him at the bell and gets in a “beautiful eye rake”. Bigelow comes out of the corner with some clotheslines and it’s time to go out to the floor.

Samu goes into various metal objects as one of the commentators suggests going after the bare pinkie toe. Back in and Bigelow misses a splash in the corner, allowing Samu to hit a “beautiful” side kick. Choking ensues and what looked to be a low blow in the corner keeps Bigelow in trouble. Samu bites in the corner and pokes him in the eye, only to miss a splash of his own. The referee gets bumped off a clothesline, just as Bigelow hits his headbutt. The timing of these things is one of the great marvels of wrestling. Cue another Samoan to hit Bigelow with a chair though and Samu gets the pin at 3:49.

Rating: D+. Of all the matches you could pick for Bigelow, you start the match with a loss? I know it’s kind of hard to find an indy match for him, but you would think they could find a squash win for him. Either way, they treated Bigelow as a big deal here and it wasn’t a clean loss, but the match wasn’t even that good.

Post match, Bigelow promises to get a piece of Samu’s a** and make it his. That’s getting a tad personal, no?

ECW TV Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Bam Bam Bigelow
Date: April 4, 1998
Location: Burt Flickinger Center, Buffalo, New York
Attendance: 2,600

Bigelow is defending and this is fan cam footage so the quality isn’t exactly quality. Bigelow (with a bandage on the side of his head) comes out to Welcome To The Jungle and the star power is strong with this one as Bigelow almost charges to the ring and you can feel the raw energy. The song is kind of perfect for a wrestling entrance (it was used in the WrestleCon Supershow Battle Royal and one of the commentators said “This could be any independent wrestler since the 80s!”) but my goodness it’s weird to see Bigelow with a belt. Van Dam (with Bill Alfonso) is just a cocky heel at this point and not the ECW legend he would become.

We get some LAWRENCE TAYLOR chants during the Big Match Intros for a little old school twist. They take their time to start with Bigelow being weary of the kicks. Bigelow gets smart and punches him in the face but Rob is right back with the kicks. For some reason Rob tries a charge in the corner and is thrown down like he’s not even there. I mean, as much as you can throw something that isn’t there….I think. We get a breather on the floor so Fonzie can give Van Dam some pointers, or maybe make a weed order.

Back in and Bigelow pounds away some more but the top rope kick to the face takes him down. Rolling Thunder: beta version gets one and Bigelow low bridges him to the floor. That means an exchange of postings before Van Dam’s headscissors is easily countered with a shove over the barricade. They’re playing up a nice story here with Rob using all of his flying and athleticism and Bigelow just using raw power.

The fight into the crowd is capped off with Bigelow being sent face first into the barricade and then getting kicked right back into the chairs. Fonzie declares Bigelow soft as a boiled egg as Van Dam pelts a chair at Bigelow’s head. That sets up the big dive over the barricade as Van Dam is breaking him down. A CRAZY top rope flip dive over the barricade takes Bigelow down again but Van Dam crashes even harder. The legdrop over the barricade (minus the spin) keeps Bigelow in trouble but Van Dam is spent from all the flips.

Bigelow is back up with a slam onto the timekeeper’s table and a big elbow off the apron puts Van Dam through it in a crash that isn’t as big as you would expect around here. It takes some time for them to get up so Van Dam kicks him in the head, with the bandage gone and the blood flowing. Back in and Bigelow runs him over again but misses the moonsault (I always liked how he did those), setting up the Five Star (or close to it) for two.

A Samoan drop (with Van Dam landing on his shoulder) gets two and Bigelow spikes him with a scary looking brainbuster for the same. Greetings From Asbury Park bumps the referee so here’s Sabu to throw a chair at Bigelow. Not to be outdone, Bigelow throws Sabu at Van Dam and then powerbombs him, with Sabu somehow landing on his face (only Sabu). The chair is back in though as it’s the Van Daminator for the pin and the title at 15:47.

Rating: B-. Remind me to not sign up for a compilation DVD anytime soon as it seems to be a bunch of losses. I liked this one and the interference at the end is fine as it makes sense to have Fonzie’s guys cheat to win the title. Van Dam was about to have a rocket attached to his back as he would hold the title for nearly two years without ever being defeated for it as a broken ankle forced him to vacate it.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. New Jack
Date: February 20, 1998
Location: Woodbridge Armory, Woodbridge, New Jersey
Attendance: 1,200

Fancam again and since it’s a New Jack match, the music is blaring so loudly that there may or may not have been a bell. Bigelow jumps him during the entrance and pounds away with a headbutt sending Jack into the pile of weapons. A low blow is loaded up as Bigelow somehow doesn’t notice Jack holding a big metal sheet, which goes right along the tattooed head. And now, here’s an umbrella, because Jack apparently inspired Jack Gallagher.

There’s a trashcan lid to the head and a low blow with what looked like a garden hoe. Bigelow gets in a trashcan shot and then follows it up with a trashcan shot to send Jack outside (I don’t see this ending well). The timekeeper’s table is laid against the barricade but Bigelow throws him through it instead. Back in and Bigelow stomps away but gets knocked down with a cookie sheet and a golf club. Cue Chris Candido and Shane Douglas (Bigelow’s Triple Threat teammates) to go after New Jack, allowing Bigelow to hit a DDT. A splash and the headbutt finish New Jack at 5;52.

Rating: D+. Well at least he won something. This was all about the weapons vs. the wrestler though Bigelow can brawl very well in his own right. I’ve never cared for New Jack for the most part but it’s hard not to smile a little bit at him being so into what he does. As long as they don’t advertise him as a wrestler and just acknowledge that he’s a gimmick nutjob, he can be acceptable in small doses like this one.

Post match the beatdown is on until someone (looks like John Kronus) comes in for the save. This goes badly for him as well with Greetings From Asbury Park leaving him laying. Jack and Kronus get destroyed with the weapons.

AWA Southern Title/AWA International Title: Jerry Lawler vs. Bam Bam Bigelow
Date: September 8, 1986
Location: Mid-South Coliseum, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentator: Lance Russell

Lawler is International Champion, Bigelow is Southern Champion and this is a Texas Deathmatch, meaning Last Man Standing but you have to get a pin before the count starts. Therefore, we’re joined in progress in the seventh fall, with Russell saying we’re about thirty minutes in. Lawler knocks him down but gets whipped into the referee in the corner.

A splash gives Bigelow the pin from a groggy referee, who doesn’t notice Lawler’s feet on the ropes. Bigelow’s manager Larry Sharpe blasts Bigelow with a chair by mistake and they’re both down after a rest period. Lawler gets to his feet first and gets both titles at 4:14 shown. I’m not rating four minutes (with over a minute of the two of them laying after the bell) of a thirty minute match but this was classic Memphis.

Post match Sharpe beats Bigelow up, which for some reason needed a quick intro from Lawler.

Impact Wrestling
Date: August 16, 2019
Location: St. Clair College, Windsor, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Don Callis

Impact has been going up and down as of late with some of the stories being better than others and some good enough shows. It’s not the best show in the world but at least they have enough stuff going on that I can remember it for a change. That’s more than they’ve had going for them in the past so at least there are some positives around here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

Moose vs. Fallah Bahh

Rematch from two weeks ago when Bahh beat him in about a minute. You really can see how much weight Bahh has lost and that’s a good thing. Moose gets smart by stomping on the bare foot and sending Bahh outside, setting up a pump kick against the barricade. You don’t do that to someone like Bahh, who crushes Moose with a running crossbody. A splash on the ramp makes it even worse but Moose goes for the eyes to take over.

Some slow kicks to the face let Moose call Bahh a fat piece of garbage so Bahh shouts his name a lot. The Samoan drop takes Moose down and a rolling belly to belly gets two. Moose crushes him in the corner though and manages a top rope superplex (not bad) but the spear hits buckle. The Banzai Drop misses though and it’s No Jackhammer Needed to give Moose the pin at 8:52.

Rating: D+. Bahh slimming down makes him look better but it takes away one of the best things he had going for him. Moose seems to be flailing for something to do at the moment, which is why he’s stuck facing Fallah Bahh in a two match series for whatever reason. At this point he needs to get into the World Title picture or change things up because he’s stuck in that weird not quite ready for the top spot but too big for the midcard limbo.

Tommy Dreamer comes in to see Tessa Blanchard and gives her a history lesson on….her family. It took others to make her family a success and now Tessa needs help to get through OVE. Dreamer wants to stand with her to improve this business so she’s with him. Good grief Dreamer couldn’t be more forced into this story if his career (which has gone on for thirty years and he respects the business so freaking much) depended on it.

Video on Su Yung.

Kiera Hogan/Madison Rayne vs. Jordynne Grace/Alexia Nicole

Fallout from Kiera and Madison beating up Nicole last week. Kiera jumps Nicole before the bell and it’s already time for some villainous double teaming. A sliding basement clothesline gives Madison two but she stops to GRR at the referee, allowing Alexia to hit a running Meteora. We take a break and come back with Madison chinlocking Alexia.

Some yelling at the referee lets Madison poke Alexia in the eye and it’s Hogan coming in for a basement dropkick. Alexia pops up and gets over for the tag to Grace as everything breaks down. Alexia hits a high crossbody on Hogan but Madison is legal. Said legal Madison hits CrossRayne to finish Nicole at 9:41.

Rating: D+. This story continues to not do much for me as I’m not even sure why they’re fighting. I guess Grace doesn’t like Rayne acting like a big shot but since Impact doesn’t know how to let things go or advance them a lot of the time, we’re likely to be watching these same people feud for a good while.

Post match the brawl continues but the lights go out and it’s Rosemary to chase off Rayne and Hogan.

Flashback Moment of the Week: Gail Kim vs. Awesome Kong from Bound For Glory 2015.

Alisha Edwards comes up to Ace Austin in the back. Ace is fearing for his safety from Eddie Edwards but Alisha insists they’re just friends. She’ll worry about Eddie.

Post break, Ace lays down when he sees Alisha coming but here’s Eddie to beat him up when he sees the two of them together.

Taya Valkyrie is in California and has John E. Bravo do various things for her, mainly including taking care of her dog.

Rhyno and Michael Elgin are fighting outside.

Rascalz vs. Willie Mack/Rich Swann/Rob Van Dam

This could be interesting. The Rascalz, and the fans, want Van Dam to start and they get their wish, with Rob kicking Wentz into the corner for the tag off to Xavier. Mack kicks him as well and a running elbow gets two. Swann comes in for a dropkick of his own as it’s one sided so far. A shot to the face sends Swann into the corner and it’s Miguel coming in to chop away. The slingshot hilo gets two on Swann and the fans want RVD. Instead they get an enziguri to Swann for two more but Swann slips out of a double backbreaker.

A cutter drops Miguel and there’s the hot tag to Van Dam. The split legged moonsault gets two on Wentz and Mack’s standing moonsault into Van Dam’s Rolling Thunder is good for two more. Everything breaks down but the push moonsault is broken up. Wentz and Swann chop it out and the pace picks up with Swann getting the better of it. Van Dam hits the Five Star and Swann drops the Phoenix splash for the pin on Wentz at 13:01.

Rating: B-. It wasn’t as good as it could have been but having Van Dam as the one to come in and clean house with his signature stuff is the best thing for him at the moment. Swann and Mack are potential future superstars around here and putting them with a big name is a good idea. Keep that up, as long as Van Dam doesn’t get the spotlight.

The North says they’re going to California to defend the Tag Team Titles at Cali Combat next week.

Jake Crist comes in to laugh at the Rascalz, Swann and Mack. Some glares send him running.

Deaners vs. Desi Hit Squad

The losers are the winners servants, meaning this feud is going to continue beyond tonight. It’s a brawl to start with everyone going out to the floor and the Deaners getting the better of things. Raj gets dropped ribs first onto the top rope and a knee knocks him back off. The Squad is right back up for a double suplex on Jake do Cody comes in for a clothesline.

Back from a break with Raju raking Cody’s eyes, leaving Gama to low bridge Cody to the floor. Cody gets caught in the Squad’s corner with Gama getting in a cheap shot from the outside. Raj rips at Cody’s face (it might be an improvement) but Cody kicks Raju away. That’s not enough for the tag though as Raj pulls Jake off the apron. A sidestep sends Raj outside and now the hot tag can bring in Jake.

Everything breaks down and Cody hits a suicide dive, followed by Jake’s running dive. Back in and Jake hits a Michinoku Driver for two on Raj and things settle back down. Gama’s distraction lets Raju get a rollup for two more as everything breaks down again. An assisted top rope double stomp gets two on Cody but Raju’s Cannonball is caught in the corner. Raju is sent outside and it’s the assisted suplex into the Side Effect (CTD) for the pin on Raj at 14:49.

Rating: D. Yeah THIS MATCH just got nearly fifteen minutes and I don’t get why either. We’ve spent how many weeks on this culture clash feud and now it’s going to be even longer. The segments will probably be funny enough but that doesn’t make up for having to watch these four have such an uninteresting rivalry for so many weeks. The match could have been worse, but that’s not much in the way of praise.

Sami Callihan wants to know where Jake Crist is but switches over to threatening Tommy and Tessa. She will NEVER beat him and tonight will be exactly like any other night.

The Deaners are ready to make the Squad work on their farm. Why can I not get the dueling banjo music out of my head?

Sami Callihan/Dave Crist vs. Tessa Blanchard/Tommy Dreamer

At least Tommy doesn’t get the last entrance. They start fast with Tommy and Tessa trying stereo Bionic Elbows (because the BLANCHARDS just love Dusty Rhodes) but have to settle for kicks to the face instead. Everything breaks down early on and Tommy hits a double clothesline off the apron. Tessa hits a top rope dive of her own (landing on her feet of course) and we take a break.

Back with Dreamer handing Tessa a beer from the crowd (I bet Dusty Rhodes would like a beer, but he’s gone so consider this the next tribute from Dreamer) so she can spit it in Sami’s face. Dreamer does it to Dave (passing it on to the next generation you might say) and we settle down to Sami begging off from Tessa inside. Everything breaks down again in record time with all four heading back outside.

Dave catapults Dreamer throat first into the barricade (add that to the list of injuries he’ll talk about for the next 15 years) and takes it back inside to crank on both of Dreamer’s arms. Staying down in a hold like that would damage the industry though so Dreamer is right back up, only to have Sami take him into the corner. Dreamer fights back using the power of tears over his memories of wrestling but Tessa gets pulled off the apron. Double Bionic elbows and the diving tag bring in Tessa (with a scary look on her face as she cleans house).

A running Codebreaker out of the corner gets two on Dave as everything breaks down and the ref gets bumped. Double DDTs lay out OVE (Because Dreamer stole that move too. Does he actually do ANYTHING original? Other than the Tommyhawk, which was awesome, that is.) with a second referee running in for two. Dreamer loads up a piledriver with THUMBS UP THUMBS DOWN (The Repo Man didn’t steal this much stuff!) but stereo low blows put….well just Dreamer down as Tessa glares at Dave for not thinking it through. Magnum with a kendo stick finishes Dave at 13:49.

Rating: C-. Did I ever tell you about the time that Tommy Dreamer did something in wrestling? The exact thing doesn’t matter because it’s probably something that has been done a million times, but he did it while looking sad, drinking a beer, hitting someone with a kendo stick an hour after wearing a shirt that talked about some famous wrestler.

But he just wants to help the business, including his House of Hardcore promotion, which is in no way another attempt to cash in on ECW’s legacy again and again because he’s never done anything noteworthy not associated with ECW. If you’ve never heard that story before, don’t worry because he’ll probably do it again in a week.

Overall Rating: D+. This was a miss as there just wasn’t enough good stuff to warrant half an hour of Deaners/Squad/Dreamer. Tessa doesn’t need Dreamer helping her out so he can steal more of her spotlight, especially after Swann, a young star who could go a long way around here, offered to help her last week. It’s a spot where someone could get a nice rub but instead it’s Dreamer for no logical reason whatsoever. The rest of the show was skippable aside from the six man tag, which hopefully isn’t a new trend around here. Hopefully they bounce back next week because this was a rough sit.

Results

Moose b. Fallah Bahh – No Jackhammer Needed

Kiera Hogan/Madison Rayne b. Jordynne Grace/Alexia Nicole – CrossRayne to Nicole

Rob Van Dam/Rich Swann/Willie Mack b. Rascalz – Phoenix splash to Wentz

Deaners b. Desi Hit Squad – CTD to Singh

Tessa Blanchard/Tommy Dreamer b. Dave Crist/Sami Callihan – Magnum to Crist

Remember to check out my website at kbwrestlingreviews.com and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Summerslam 2003
Date: August 24, 2003
Location: America West Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Attendance: 16,113
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s one of the biggest shows of the year and I can’t bring myself to get excited over it. This show really hasn’t been built up very well with only the Smackdown World Title match with Kurt Angle defending against Brock Lesnar offering much interest. The rest of the show feels very flat, especially the Raw World Title match which should have been Goldberg vs. HHH. Let’s get to it.

The United States Marine Corps Color Guard presents the flag and Lillian Garcia sings the National Anthem. As always, it’s an outstanding performance.

The opening video shows a beach but the sun goes behind a cloud and the shot shifts to the Elimination Chamber. The narration basically makes it sounds like the Chamber is poisoning everyone’s souls and turning them all evil, including Kane, who isn’t even in the thing. I’d bet money that Jim Ross wrote that, thinking it sounded even more dramatic than when he gives the Cell human characteristics.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. La Resistance

La Resistance is defending and Bubba brings out the American flag. The Dudleys jump them in the aisle and the beatdown is on with D-Von choking Dupree with the robe. An armdrag into an armbar (FEEL THE HATRED!) doesn’t go very well as Dupree takes D-Von into the corner so the champs can take over. D-Von is right back with the shots to the head, allowing the tag off to the very loud Bubba. It might be annoying, but I can always go for a partner making noise and being active on the apron instead of just standing there.

Grenier gets tied in the Tree of Woe so Bubba can stand between his legs for a loud scream. It’s not quite table time, allowing Grenier to get in a cheap shot so the champs can really take over. Dupree grabs a bearhug, which is quite the odd visual on someone as big as Bubba. A Bubba Bomb gets him out of trouble though and the not very hot tag brings in D-Von for the house cleaning.

Dupree gets powerslammed for two but the champs clear the ring again. The double spinebuster gets two on D-Von (there’s the crowd reaction, and all it took was kicking out of the champs’ finisher). Bubba comes back in for the Flip, Flop and Fly, followed by What’s Up on Grenier. 3D connects but Grenier pulls the referee out, allowing a cameraman to deck D-Von with his camera, giving Dupree the pin. It’s the serviceman from Raw of course.

Rating: C-. The match was ok, but not exactly the hottest choice in the world for an opener. Having the Americans lose to the EVIL Frenchmen doesn’t quite get the show off on the right foot and now we’re likely to see another rematch between these teams as this feud to show off THE POWERS OF AMERICA continues. La Resistance is fine to hold the titles, but they need something more than “we are French and therefore evil”.

Post match Spike Dudley comes in and gets beaten down as well. So after the big American military opening and carrying the flag, the Dudleys lose to the heatless champions again. The Dudleys would get the belts back a month later, but instead we need to see them lose here. Of course we also needed this match instead of the World’s Greatest Tag Team, Rey Mysterio, John Cena or Christian.

Coach tries to talk to the Dudleys but makes the mistake of praising La Resistance’s success. Bubba declares that people who hate America suck and promises to get the belts back.

Christian asks Eric Bischoff why he’s not on the show but Eric blames Steve Austin. Since he can’t wrestle, he offers to be Bischoff’s backup tonight. Bischoff has a plan though and promises to tell the world what happened with Linda on Monday.

We recap A-Train running Stephanie McMahon over last month and costing her a match against Sable. This turned into A-Train vs. Undertaker and WWE actually expects us to believe that this isn’t going to turn into Sable vs. Stephanie again.

A-Train vs. Undertaker

Sable is with A-Train in a rather nice outfit. Undertaker has bad ribs so he dodges a bit to start instead of going in full steam ahead. Instead of staying on the ribs, A-Train tries a headlock, allowing Undertaker to knee him in the ribs and take over. The running DDT gets two on A-Train and Old School connects early on. A shot to the ribs finally cuts Undertaker off (thanks for finally getting the idea Train) and some forearms to the ribs are good for two.

A-Train stays on the ribs with a vertical suplex, followed by a headbutt. Cole: “It’s like being hit in the head with a typewriter.” Normally I would question that, but Cole is the kind of dolt who would do that for fun. Undertaker manages Snake Eyes and a double clothesline puts both guys down for a quick rest.

A slugout goes to Undertaker (well duh) and a big legdrop gets two. For some reason Undertaker tries the Last Ride but a shove gives us a ref bump. The Derailer of course gets a delayed two and the referee gets bumped again. That is way, WAY too popular of a booking trope these days. A-Train hits the bicycle kick to take Undertaker down but gets a chair kicked into his face for two. The chokeslam gives Undertaker the pin.

Rating: D. Matches against power guys like this can be Undertaker’s bread and butter but there’s only so much you can do to make A-Train interesting. The match wasn’t terrible and they kept it slow enough, but this Undertaker stands up for Stephanie thing is about as forced as you can get. There’s only so much you can do as a surrogate for Vince vs. Stephanie, especially when the best villain available for the spot is A-Train.

Post match Undertaker loads up the Last Ride but Sable comes in and rubs his chest. Undertaker grabs her by the throat and STEPHANIE IS BACK!!! WE CAN LIVE HAPPY LIVES AGAIN!!! Stephanie gets to do some catfighting until A-Train pulls Sable out. I guess this is what passes for a big moment around here.

Some fans in the front row think Goldberg is going to win the Chamber. Uh, thanks for that.

We recap Shane McMahon vs. Eric Bischoff, which starts off looking a lot like Shane vs. Kane. Bischoff then decided that he hated Shane for stealing WCW from him back in 2001. You know, because that’s a story people were thinking about. Eric went after Shane, including having Kane attack him and cost him a match against Eric.

Then Eric went to Connecticut and may have forced himself on Linda McMahon. It came out of almost nowhere and really was more of a complicated way to get to Kane vs. Shane. It’s more of WWE thinking you could just toss a McMahon into a story and everything would be fine, which doesn’t work as well when you do it in two straight matches.

Shane McMahon vs. Eric Bischoff

Before the match, Bischoff addresses what happened with Linda, saying it happened again and again and again. Now he knows where Shane gets all of his energy, so here’s Shane in a….complete non hurry actually. Shane pounds him down in the corner with reckless abandon (Or is it still Ruthless Aggression?), followed by some forearms to the ear (called crossfaces by JR).

Eric can’t make it up the aisle as Christian might be coming off like a good idea right about now. A baseball slide sends Eric into the barricade as this has been one sided so far. Shane’s dancing punches take Bischoff down again but the Coach of all people comes in to chair Shane down. Let me make sure I’ve got this straight: Bischoff thought COACH was a better option than the Intercontinental Champion? I get that they want to protect Christian from having to get beaten up by Shane but that makes no sense from Bischoff’s perspective.

Eric says he’s restarting the match as falls count anywhere with no disqualifications so Coach sends Shane into the steps for two. They head inside where Bischoff tells the production staff to cut JR and King’s microphones so Coach can do live commentary in the ring. Bischoff throws kicks as Coach does the traditional job of mocking JR. Shane finally gets in a kick of his own and scores with a DDT, only to have Coach hit him low.

That’s enough to make the glass shatter, as everyone knew was coming. Coach does the “I’m not touching you” thing until Shane shoves him into Austin, meaning the beatdown can be on. The dispatching doesn’t take long and Austin orders JR and King’s mics be turned on again. Austin is about to leave but Shane grabs Bischoff’s hand and slaps Austin in the jaw, meaning a Stunner is perfectly acceptable. Shane pulls him up at two though, as the big elbow drives Bischoff through the announcers’ table for the pin.

Rating: F. What did this accomplish? There’s no reason this couldn’t have been the end of Monday Night Raw as the big deal was Coach turning heel. Use this valuable pay per view time (some of the biggest pay per view time of the year) on the people who matter, not for the sake of making Kane look good because he never gets to do that otherwise. This was really annoying, especially when you consider everything that was left off the show so this could get a lot of time.

Beer is consumed post match because this hasn’t eaten up enough time yet.

HHH and Ric Flair get very serious with Randy Orton, telling him that he needs to focus on keeping the title on HHH and nothing more. Orton: “What? I got it.”

US Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit vs. Tajiri vs. Rhyno

Eddie is defending under tornado rules and one fall to a finish. Tony Chimmel tells us that this is the four way for the US Title before telling us that this is the four way for the US Title. It’s a brawl to start with Eddie staying on the floor, which might not be the smartest move in the world here. With Tajiri sent outside, Benoit snaps the Crossface onto Rhyno, drawing Eddie in for the save. Rhyno clotheslines Tajiri for two and Eddie is there for the save again. Eddie gets triple teamed but Rhyno shifts over to Benoit for some reason.

A powerslam gives Rhyno two on Eddie as it’s still all over the place, albeit not at the fastest pace. Rhyno and Benoit are sent outside, leaving Tajiri to monkey flip Eddie for two. All four are back in with Rhyno superplexing Eddie for two with Tajiri making the save. Tajiri gets the same by kicking Benoit in the head but the champ saves this time. A headscissors puts Rhyno on the floor and Eddie’s rope walk hurricanrana gets two on Benoit.

Tajiri comes back in and gets caught in the Lasso From El Paso but Benoit quickly follows with a Crossface on Rhyno. Eddie isn’t sure what to do but Tajiri making the ropes makes his decision much easier. That earns Eddie a Crossface of his own until Rhyno and Tajiri break it up. Rhyno busts up Tajiri’s spine for two and it’s Benoit rolling some German suplexes to make Tajiri feel even worse.

Tajiri manages to get in one of his own though and bridges back for a close two, leaving everyone down at once. Back up and Tajiri gets Benoit in the Tarantula, leaving Rhyno to Gore Eddie. The problem is Eddie had the US Title in his hands to bust up Rhyno’s shoulder, leaving him down in pain. Benoit’s Swan Dive gets two as Tajiri dives in for a save, only to have both of them fall outside. Eddie sneaks in with a frog splash to pin Rhyno and retain the title.

Rating: B-. This was a good match that was trying hard to be great. There were a few too many dead spots in there though and they never hit a higher gear that they were capable of, but at least they did well with what they did. Eddie stealing the pin after cheating with the belt makes perfect sense for him and it’s the right idea to keep the title on him with the roll he’s currently on.

We look at Brock Lesnar destroying Zach Gowen, who will be out for a good while as a result.

Earlier tonight on Heat, Matt Hardy accepted a forfeit win over Gowen.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle. Brock beat Angle for the title at Wrestlemania and Angle went on the shelf. While he was out, Angle and Lesnar became friends, which lead them to Vengeance where Angle won the title back in a triple threat. A few weeks later, Lesnar turned on Angle to join forces with Vince in the name of being the REAL Brock Lesnar. Brock attacked Angle in a cage and left him laying, which has only ticked Angle off coming in to the title match.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar

Brock is challenging and we actually get an old school rules explanation from the referee. They hit the mat to start with Angle getting the better of it (not exactly shocking) and frustrating Lesnar early on. Another takedown looks to set up the ankle lock but Kurt goes to a headlock that Brock can break far more easily. Odd thinking there. Back up and Brock shoves him away without too much effort so Angle armdrags Lesnar outside, frustrating Brock all over again.

Kurt follows him outside and starts in on Brock’s knee before sending him into the barricade. Back in and the first suplex gets two on Brock, who responds by gorilla pressing him out to the floor in a big crash (great visual with Angle just falling to the floor). Now it’s Brock’s turn for a suplex as he’s starting to look all surly. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two on Kurt and we hit the rear naked choke before that meant much to a lot of fans. It’s off to a regular bodyscissors instead, followed by a chinlock.

Of course Angle fights up (after Brock let go of two better holds), this time being cut down by a hard knee to the ribs. A hard clothesline drops Angle again and the move that would become known as Shell Shock (complete with walking around the ring) gives Brock two. Some shoulders in the corner stay on Angle’s ribs so Kurt hits him in the face. You don’t do that to Lesnar though and Angle gets more shoulders to his ribs for his efforts.

Brock’s big running charge goes into the post though and Kurt’s running shoulder block staggers Lesnar. A dropkick to the knee has Brock in more trouble and it’s time to roll the German suplexes (with Lesnar holding the shoulder off each one). The Angle Slam doesn’t work and Brock goes back to the ribs with a spinebuster. Since one finisher is countered, the other has to be as well so Kurt reverses the F5 into a good looking DDT for two of his own. Now the Angle Slam is good for two and Angle is even more fired up.

In my favorite Angle spot, he puts the straps back up so he can take them down all over again. The ankle lock goes on but Brock rolls forward, sending Angle into the referee. Kurt charges at him for what looks like a sunset flip but stops halfway, wrapping his legs around Brock’s neck and arm (almost in an upside down triangle choke). Since that’s not the easiest hold to maintain, Angle switches over to the ankle lock for the tap but there’s no referee.

Cue Vince to chair Angle in the back, setting up the F5 for a delayed two. Another F5 is reversed into the ankle lock to put Brock in real trouble. He grabs all four bottom ropes but the hold isn’t broken for absolutely no apparent reasons, meaning Brock has to tap to retain Angle’s title.

Rating: B+. It’s not quite their Wrestlemania match but Angle getting his win back makes sense….in theory. They’ve been building Lesnar up as the unstoppable monster for the last few weeks so it would have made sense to have him win here (with Vince’s help) before losing the rematch down the line. That being said, I’m fine with Angle retaining here as it makes sense from the long term. In other words, this one depends on how you look at it, but it’s a rather strong match either way.

Vince gets an Angle Slam through a chair to wish him a happy birthday.

We recap Kane vs. Rob Van Dam. Kane lost his mask and despite Van Dam trying to calm him down and say that he didn’t need the mask, Kane went crazy and started destroying everything in his path. This included beating up Van Dam, Shane McMahon and Linda McMahon and setting Jim Ross on fire. This seems to be setting up Kane vs. Shane, but first Van Dam gets his shot tonight.

Kane vs. Rob Van Dam

No Holds Barred, which is added right before the match. JR refers to Kane as the “byproduct of an inbred mongrel dog”. As I so often wonder of both JR and Jim Cornette: WHERE DO THEY COME UP WITH THIS STUFF??? Van Dam tries to start fast but gets clotheslined down in short order. They head outside with Kane sending him into the barricade but charging into a boot, allowing Rob to follow up with another kick to the face.

Van Dam gets posted though and it’s time for a ladder. Rob is smart enough to kick it into his face, followed by a top rope kick to the chest. A crossbody puts them both on the floor and of course Kane takes over again. The announcers talk about what Kane did to Linda, which is both a good and bad idea. It’s good in that it shows you what Kane is capable of and how evil he is, but it also shows you how unimportant this match is because it’s all about Shane vs. Kane down the line.

Back in and another kick to Kane’s face knocks him into the corner (there’s certainly a pattern here) as JR deems Kane smelly. Kane shoves Rob off the top and down onto the barricade as the violence starts to go the monster’s way again. The ladder to the face drops Rob again and it’s time for some simple choking. Thankfully the referee doesn’t break it up because that comes off as barring a hold, which might get a lawyer involved with his life.

Rob gets kicked outside again and this time Kane follows by going to the top, only to dive into the barricade by mistake (that looked bad on replay as Kane seemed to slip, leaving him without enough distance and sending him head first into the barricade). Now it’s Rob getting in a ladder shot, which Kane of course shrugs off.

A DDT on the floor knocks Rob silly but he’s able to drop toehold Kane into the steps. The spinning kick from the apron drops Kane again, followed by Rolling Thunder onto the chair. Kane sits up so Rob dropkicks the chair into his face for good measure. The Van Terminator misses though and a Tombstone onto the steps is enough to end Rob.

Rating: B. Nice brawl here but I couldn’t shake the feeling that it didn’t mean anything given the story they’ve already told us is coming. Rob was trying here though and made the match fun, especially with the story of the wrestling going to Van Dam and the hardcore stuff going to Kane, but we’re heading for Kane vs. Shane and everyone knows it.

Bischoff is banged up and doesn’t want to talk about his loss but Linda McMahon comes in. Eric starts stammering and gets slapped in the face as the billionaire gets revenge. I can totally relate.

Flair gives HHH a final pep talk.

The Chamber is lowered.

Long recap on the main event, which also features a look at the Chamber. HHH was scheduled to defend against Goldberg one on one but a torn groin necessitated a multi-person match because Heaven forbid HHH take a spear and Jackhammer and lose in a short match with the excuse that he wasn’t ready or was wrestling hurt or any other idea they had. Somehow we get Kevin Nash in another main event though, because that’s what the world was waiting for. There have been some personal issues added after the match announcement but it still feels a little thrown together.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Goldberg vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton vs. Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Nash

The intervals are three minutes this year because we need to move this along. Goldberg slips during his entrance, which is edited out of the Network version (though he goes from standing in the middle of the stage to a few steps to the right off a camera cut). Shawn and Jericho start us off as the fans chant for Goldberg. They hit the mat to start for the Flair pinfall reversal sequence before trading slaps.

Shawn backdrops him but has to switch to a small package to escape the Walls attempt. Jericho can’t hit the Lionsault so instead we’ll listen to JR mess up history by saying this title has only changed hands once before in Arizona. That’s some nice sounding trivia, but remember that this title isn’t even a year old yet and has its own lineage. Sure that doesn’t mean much, but this is the way WWE has set things up and they can’t keep it straight. Anyway, Orton is in third with a high crossbody for two on Shawn, followed by the signature backbreaker gets the same on Jericho.

The RKO is broken up though and Jericho backdrops Orton onto the steel. Now the Walls work just fine on Shawn but it’s Kevin Nash in fourth. That’s enough for Jericho to break it up and go after Nash, who isn’t happy with his new haircut. I find it rather spiffy, even as Nash throws Jericho into the Chamber wall. Nash’s side slam gets two on Orton and Jericho is busted open. Nash goes over for a Jackknife, only to get superkicked down, allowing Jericho to roll him up for the pin, meaning Nash was in there for all of two minutes.

HHH is in fifth….and Shawn superkicks him right back into the pod. Nash isn’t done yet though and Jackknifes Jericho and Orton as a parting gift. Shawn, who is down off throwing a superkick, covers both villains for two each. Everyone punches it out until Goldberg is in to complete the field. Right hands and forearms abound and it’s the spear to get rid of Orton in short order. Jericho gets launched onto the cage floor again and another spear sends him through the Plexiglas.

As Goldberg gets back in, Shawn scores with a forearm followed by the top rope elbow. Sweet Chin Music misses though and it’s a spear and Jackhammer to get us down to three. The same thing gets rid of Jericho and it’s HHH (who still hasn’t gotten out of the pod) vs. Goldberg for the title.

Flair shuts the pod again and holds it shut as well as he can, only to have Goldberg break the “unbreakable Plexiglas”. Some right hands keep HHH in trouble and Goldberg sends him into the Chamber walls a few times. A clothesline takes him down again and HHH is busted open. Goldberg loads up the spear but Flair slips HHH the sledgehammer to knock Goldberg cold and the title is retained.

Rating: D. This wasn’t even twenty minutes long. The best way to describe this match would be a middle finger to the fans who are nearly dying to see HHH lose that freaking title already but we need to make sure he’s ready to give Goldberg the rub or something. I’m not sure how WWE can validate keeping the title on HHH when they have Goldberg right there and HHH can barely move, but I’m sure it’s just the right thing to do, at least according to HHH. That’s 2003 in a nutshell: cheer for whomever you want, but you get HHH.

The rest of the match was of course nothing because Goldberg was the only person who could conceivably win the thing. Instead of something competitive and compelling, it was fifteen minutes of waiting around on Goldberg, then Goldberg crushing people for a few minutes, and then HAHA IT’S THE SLEDGEHAMMER AGAIN! The ending was so deflating that there’s not

Evolution beats Goldberg down and handcuffs him to the Chamber because WWE needs to demonstrate how to book Goldberg.

Overall Rating: D. The show isn’t even that bad, but rather almost completely flat. There are a few good matches with Brock vs. Angle being a highlight but that just made me want to watch the Wrestlemania match again. The TV coming into this show has been really dull due to a lot of McMahons and while they were used more sparingly here, you could still feel them throughout the whole show. That main event really took the life out of the whole thing though and there was nothing else that was going to fix things. Not a good show, but it could have been worse.

Ratings Comparison

La Resistance vs. Dudley Boys

Original: C

2013 Redo: D+

2018 Redo: C-

A-Train vs. Undertaker

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2018 Redo: D

Eric Bischoff vs. Shane McMahon

Original: D

2013 Redo: N/A

2018 Redo: F

Rhyno vs. Tajiri vs. Chris Benoit vs. Eddie Guerrero

Original: B-

2013 Redo: B+

2018 Redo: B-

Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: A-

2013 Redo: B

2018 Redo: B+

Kane vs. Rob Van Dam

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2018 Redo: B

HHH vs. Goldberg vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Nash vs. Randy Orton

Original: D

2013 Redo: C-

2018 Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C

2018 Redo: D

That’s one of the hardest swings I’ve ever had on a show but you can see a little consistency in there somewhere.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/06/history-of-summerslam-count-up-2003-brock-vs-angle-ii/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/08/08/summerslam-count-up-2003-meet-the-old-hhh-same-as-the-new-hhh/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Summerslam 2003
Date: August 24, 2003
Location: America West Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Attendance: 16,113
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tazz, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

So Austin and Rock are retired, Lesnar is still a big name, HBK stuck around to shock the world even more, and that’s about it. Seriously, not much else has happened. Cena and Batista haven’t risen to power yet as they’re about a year and a half away from taking over the company. There is a new arrival however: Goldberg, who I wouldn’t call a flop but I’d call him a disappointment.

He’s at war with HHH over the title currently, so that’s your main feud, but of course they couldn’t just have them go one on one, so we get the second Elimination Chamber instead. Your other main event here is Brock vs. Angle in a Wrestlemania rematch. The card looks….ok I guess but a bit top heavy. Let’s see how it is.

Lillian Garcia sings the Star Spangled Banner with the Marine Corps Color Guard on the stage. To say she’s gorgeous is an understatement. They need to do this more often at PPVs. The opening video is pretty good, as we hear a clock striking what I would assume to be midnight and with each bell sound we see a clip of another match. Oh I forgot to mention: Lesnar is a heel again and is working for Vince.

Raw Tag Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. La Resistance

This is as simple as you can get here: the French champions make fun of American so the American team that’s never really been patriotic rally round the flag to fight for the Red White and Blue, despite the fact that the French flag has the same colors but you get the idea I guess. La Resistance are the guys that were the tag team of the year at this time, always holding the belts mainly due to the fact that they never had any opponents of note to face them.

The Dudleys were guys you could just throw into the title picture and it would work though, much like they do now in TNA. Guys like that are great to have because their resume makes them a legit threat so you know you’ll get a decent performance out of them and they make the other team look good. It’s the same thing that Shawn Michaels did in the last year or so.

He was never going to beat Jericho for the belt, but he was a legit challenger that you could count on for a solid match and he can be thrown into the title picture at a moment’s notice and be perfectly credible. That’s a very valuable asset to have. This was also back in the day of the old school tag title belts which I’ve always loved. JR touches on the idea that Bubba and D-Von are related which he kind of brushes off.

The faces are WAY over and take control early on which makes sense. They continue to dominate after a brief heel comeback, but after the 3D a cameraman comes in and hits D-Von with the picture taking machine for the pin. Bubba was too busy counting the three to stop the run in to break up the 3D, so the heels steal it. Post match, the camera guy beats up D-Von, Bubba and Spike who runs in for the attempted save, with the camera. Of course it’s Rob Conway, who didn’t have a name yet.

Rating: C. This felt like an extended TV match to me. It was ok, but nothing you wouldn’t see on Raw. The tag division was pretty much the same for about 5 years and it’s still that way today, with not much of anything of note going on other than the occasional title change. La Resistance was nothing special, but they were ok I guess. Not a bad match, just nothing that jumps off the page at me.

Coach interviews the Dudleys in the aisle, saying that the French were clever. Bubba doesn’t like this.

Bischoff is warming up and Christian talks to him like they’ve never met. Really? Bischoff is fighting Shane tonight for some reason. Christian is upset that he doesn’t have a match and Eric blames his co-GM, Stone Cold. The audio is bad here for some reason and I can’t make out all of what they’re saying.

We see the recap of Taker against A-Train. Basically Vince is hiring all the monsters he can find and Taker is the one he can’t get, so he’s the one that fights them off. A-Train started by attacking Stephanie last month at Vengeance to keep her from beating Sable, who Vince was having an open affair with.

Then, Taker fought back but A-Train kept making him lose matches, including one on Smackdown by pinfall to John Cena. Yes, Cena has indeed hit the FU to the Undertaker and pinned him in the middle of the ring. Anyway, that of course leads to this match.

Undertaker vs. A-Train

Taker’s music with lyrics is just awesome. This is the very end of his biker character though, as he was literally buried at Survivor Series by Kane in a Buried Alive match. I used to get the opening to A-Train’s music and JBL’s music confused. How can Sable be this hot at this age? She’s even hot now with Brock and this is 6 years later. Why is Taker in the second match of the night? Can I get an explanation?

Sable’s chest is EPIC here. Taker still has taped up ribs. Basic big man match for Taker which is probably his specialty: fighting monsters. A-Train was always someone that they wanted to push it seemed but it just never happened. Old School puts the train down.

We hit the floor for a bit and Taker’s back goes into the post as A-Train takes over. Can we just look at Sable’s chest some more? It’s certainly more entertaining. Taker grabs a sleeper of all things but walks into a belly to back suplex as Train keeps dominating. Taker gets out of the corner as nothing but punches. At times it seems like he does nothing but that and his finishers.

After some very basic stuff Taker can’t get the Last Ride and walks into a Derailer (choke powerbomb) for two of course. Good grief this is a formulamatic match. Down goes the referee as A-Train hits a bicycle kick and grabs a chair. It gets kicked into his face for two as we learn a good lesson about bringing a foreign object in. Use AMERICAN DANG IT! Chokeslam ends it clean.

Rating: D. Again, Taker is good at fighting monsters, but it feels like a TV match and nothing more. Why would I want to watch a TV match on PPV when I have to pay for it? It’s ok, but that’s all it is. A-Train was an underused talent, but come on. Taker deserves more than an underused talent, and to be fair he would be put into a title feud with Lesnar starting in the next week or two. Sable was hot as fire though.

Post match, Sable comes in to try to seduce Taker. Taker doesn’t go for that and chokes her until Stephanie returns and beats the heck out of her. Cole says she kicks the heck out of her, but I’m pretty sure it’s only punches. Then again, I’m no professional. Sable and A-Train bail as Cole freaks because of the power in the ring at the moment.

Brock has a new DVD.

We see Jericho stretching in the back as Coach is at ringside asking fans who they think will win the EC tonight. Everyone thinks Goldberg. If you’re going to waste time, I guess you might as well involve the audience.

Hit the recap button for Bischoff vs. Shane. This is REALLY long so I’ll try to summarize it as well as I can. Shane and Kane were feuding because Kane tombstoned Linda. Vince is being a jerk and won’t let Shane fight Kane, so Shane fights Bischoff. Kane saves Eric and helps him win. JR then decides that since Bischoff caused Kane to try to burn JR alive, that he’s going to sue Eric.

Austin comes out and says that JR won’t sue if Bischoff agrees to face someone. Eric, assuming it’s Shane, agrees. However, it’s Kane. For no apparent reason, Kane bails and Eric immediately wins by count out. However, the contract had a clause in it that said that the winner got Shane at Summerslam.

My that’s a fast contract to have drawn up in a matter of minutes isn’t it? Anyway, Bischoff goes to Vince’s house and kisses Linda and it’s implied he either raped her or slept with her with her being willing.

Eric Bischoff vs. Shane McMahon

According to Tony Schiavone, anyone that follows tournament karate knows that Bischoff is a great fighter. In other words, about 4 people know that. Eric gets on the mic before Shane comes out and implies again that he slept with Linda. Eric is cut off by Shane’s music. You can tell he’s mad because he only dances a bit. They’re on the floor inside of a minute as Shane is just killing him as you would expect.

Shane keeps rolling in and breaking the count and then goes back out again and it’s getting annoying quickly. JR references an elevator company, and sadly enough I get the reference. Coach pops up and smacks Shane in the back with a chair. Bischoff gets on the mic and makes it a hardcore match. Bischoff says that since Coach is the best commentator of all time to cut off JR and Lawler so that Coach can do all of the commentary. Yeah, this isn’t going to be bad at all.

What was the appeal of Coach? I’ve yet to ever be entertained by him at all. Without commentary this is somehow more boring if that’s possible. Shane finally wakes up and fights them both off, breathing some much needed life back into the crowd, but Austin comes out to really wake things up. I miss JR screaming about this. Austin can’t hit Coach though unless he’s touched so we get the I’m not touching you joke.

Shane makes Coach touch him though, which I think is illegal in some states, leading to the Austin beatdown. Austin and Shane make a weird team to say the least. Austin thankfully turns the announcers back on, which I hope is illegal in all states. Bischoff slaps him and gets a stunner from the man that he fired via fed ex.

Shane puts Eric through the Spanish Announce Table, which is famous enough to get all capital letters, with the elbow for the pin on the floor. JR calls this coast to coast. No JR, no. Austin and Shane have beers to kill some more time.

Rating: D. This was more like a big angle and it went on WAY too long. There were parts of this where it was just dragging on and on and on. Austin coming out completely saved this as it was an incredible boring segment. Coach is a waste of air and always has been so why would I care about him?

This was just really bad with only Austin being interesting at all. You know, even after this, the problem for Shane is that it’s never known if Linda did anything or not, so what does Shane actually gain out of this?

Of all things, we get a Wrestlemania Recall. Dude, the show is EIGHT MONTHS AWAY. I get the idea of early promotion, but come on now isn’t that a bit much?

Nash is getting ready for the Elimination Chamber.

Flair is with Orton, talking about how HHH will win tonight. Evolution was in a weird stage at the moment as Batista was out with an injury. The real reign of terror would begin in October when he came back.

US Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit vs. Rhyno vs. Tajiri

Eddie is champion here. All four are in the ring and the first person to either get a submission or as Chimmel puts it, catch a pinfall, is the champion. After announcing that, he says it again seconds later in case we weren’t listening I guess. There’s no backstory here that I know of and if there is they don’t cover it. I can’t find any mention of one, so I’m guessing it’s one of those let’s throw everyone together and have them do their best. That can be a great idea at times.

Eddie comes out in a car of course. He would very soon be pushed to the main event and given the WWE Title in one of the biggest head scratchers of all time as he wasn’t a big enough star and obviously wasn’t ready for it, and likely never would be ready for it. Oh so Eddie hit all of them with the belt on Smackdown so that’s our story? Dude, anyone can do better than that. The US Title is just over a month old at this point, so it’s not like there’s time for a real history.

Eddie beat Benoit for it in a tournament final at Vengeance the previous month. It’s funny seeing the table all destroyed with Eddie standing in front of it. It looks so out of place and it’s making me chuckle. It’s kind of cool to think that Benoit and Eddie would both be champions at the end of Mania in 8 months. I love the Rhyno character around this time as he was just completely insane and liked hurting people. I love that.

In other words, he was his normal self. Four ECW guys out there as well, so if nothing else ECW had an eye for talent. I always like the Lasso From El Paso. In a very cool spot, Benoit puts Rhyno in the Crossface at the same time Eddie has the Lasso From El Paso on Tajiri. For one thing, the referee isn’t sure who to check on, but Eddie has a problem. Does he try to win, or does he break up the Crossface to save the title? That’s very smart and I really like it.

Tajiri gets to the ropes though so that’s all over. Eddie gets put in it and it takes several kicks from Rhyno and Tajiri to get him to break it up. Why does ever spinebuster have to contain an Arn Anderson reference? We get it, he had a sweet move. I will always mark out for the rolling German suplexes. Rhyno hits a gore but Eddie is holding the belt which is an old and classic move. Benoit and Tajiri fight to the floor which allows Eddie to steal the pin with the Frog Splash.

Rating: B-. To me, this is perfect for a PPV title defense for a new champion. It looks challenging, he gets a clean pin over an opponent, it’s about 11 minutes long, and two guys save face, allowing them to challenge for the title in the future because they didn’t get pinned. The wrestling was fine, but as is the problem with multi-man matches, it can get hard to follow. Either way, this was fine and a great way to really start Eddie’s reign.

Shawn Michaels is in a hallway getting ready. I guess that’s better than being in a closet.

Metallica is doing the theme song, with St. Anger. Still not sure if I like that album or not. The song is good, but I’m not sold on it. It’s certainly not bad, but I’m not sure if it is good enough for Metallica.

Lesnar has been a monster lately and this past Thursday he beat up Zach Gowen, and for those of you that don’t know, he had one leg. He broke his leg apparently. Gowen was supposed to fight Matt Hardy on Heat, so Matt declared himself the winner. Matt saying that real wrestlers fight through injuries absolutely cracked me up.

We get the recap of the Angle/Lesnar feud, which they more or less say has only happened over the course of a month and not 8 months, which is the real case. Angle was a heel back then so I guess that’s why. Angle won the title at Vengeance as a face but it was a triple threat. Kurt and Brock formed kind of a super team in between the shows as Angle said Brock helped him through his injury. After he agreed to the title match though, Lesnar turned heel in a complicated angle.

Vince said that Brock had to earn the title shot, but he would have to beat Vince in a cage match to earn it. Ok, that makes little sense on Vince’s part so I guess that means everything is perfectly normal. To continue making things odd, he makes Kurt the guest referee. Before the match though, someone attacks him.

Lesnar goes into the match anyway but collapses. Angle beats up Vince but Lesnar is faking and turns heel by beating up Angle. I’m not wild on Lesnar being the heel, but I guess that works. I am glad that he comes out alone though.

Smackdown Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle

They start with amateur moves which I’m always a fan of. It’s just cool to see guys that are so naturally talented at things like that and it’s always fun to watch. This was back when Angle still had meat on him and didn’t look like he was about 200lbs. He was also relatively sane at the time, which is always a plus. In a funny visual, Angle out wrestles Lesnar and sends him to the floor. The Spanish guys STILL have no table.

They have at least a dozen tables for hardcore matches but they can’t loan the Spanish guys one for the night? I’d love to hear how ticked off they are at times. It turns into more of a brawl and Lesnar takes over as is expected. Lesnar’s second press slam is countered into a rollup. I like that as it shows that Angle learns with every move that he uses. That’s a nice little touch that likely wasn’t even intentional at all.

Lesnar busts out a rear naked choke so I guess MMA was always in his blood. We slow it down a LOT as Brock takes over with some standard heel stuff which is fine, but when I watch Brock Lesnar I want to see more than just stomps and chin locks. They keep talking about how Brock won the title last year, which is stupid as I’m pretty sure he’s done more since then. In this match, we get some of the good Angle, as he gets into that zone of his and more or less wills himself to victory.

He continues to steal moves from other wrestlers as he launches into a series of Germans from that other guy. Angle gets thrown over his head as I completely love Brock’s belly to belly and I always have. This review is rather short but as I’ve said many times, it’s hard to make fun of a good match. Lesnar’s shoulder hit the post so it’s hurt as well. Angle counters the F5 into a DDT while making it look miles better than Eddie would at No Way Out.

He pulls the straps down and for likely the first time ever, I’m loving Kurt Angle. He’s much better as a face than a heel to me, but I’m odd in that area. In a very weird thing, Angle puts the straps back up, only to pull them down again. Um, why? It looked very odd to see him do that as he got the big pop for it once so I guess he wanted another big pop? Either way it came off as odd. Ankle lock is on after Brock kicks out of the slam. In a huge twist, the referee gets knocked down.

Angle looks like he’s going for a sunset flip but in a unique move he locks his legs around Brock’s head and I guess uses a sleeper? It looks cool and I could see it working as a knockout hold I guess. From this he transitions to the ankle again and after about 30 seconds and two ropes Brock taps but there’s no one to tap to. I guess Brock is a drunk man? Vince runs out and chairs Angle to break it up as I’m going into a play by play guy which I don’t like doing.

Vince looking around as if to say I didn’t do anything makes me laugh. To just show how much of a freak he is, Lesnar hits the F5 while standing on one leg. To say that’s insane is the understatement of all time. It looks completely sick too as Angle lands straight on his head. However since this is a major PPV, Angle kicks out. Vince’s shirt looks completely stupid. The F5 is reversed into the ankle lock but Brock gets to three of the bottom ropes (called all four by Cole as he’s just a stupid boy).

However, despite him touching the ropes and even grabbing them, Kurt pulls him back and the referee doesn’t count them I guess. Lesnar taps as Kurt Mir keeps the belt. Post match Vince tries to attack Kurt with a chair and in an odd looking bit Vince misses but falls on his back. Angle slam through the chair looks completely sick.

Rating: A-. This was a GREAT match. It was two machines working very hard out there and with the right amount of time they were able to make this something special. Brock would get the title back in a few weeks after an iron man match on Smackdown. This was a very good match all around with Angle having to go to lengths he rarely had to in order to keep the title. Very good match and you should watch it.

We get an ad for Shawn’s first DVD which is also available on VHS. That just sounds odd.

Goldberg is getting ready with IPod headphones in. That makes me chuckle.

I think it’s Vince’s birthday if I’m reading the commentator’s hints right.

We see the first diva search winner, Jamie. She never got a contract which is why you’ve never heard of her. She’s cute.

Recap of RVD and Kane. This came about because Kane had to unmask in a very creepy moment and he blamed RVD for it for no apparent reason. Since then he’s just been a violent big red monster. Van Dam tries to fight him off but Kane just keeps destroying him, leading to Van Dam being tortured.

RVD vs. Kane

Just before the match starts, Fink announces that it’s been made no holds barred. At the time Kane was wearing the singlet top with pants and no mask, so he looks like a freaking moron. Anyway, Van Dam comes out and Kane of course kicks his head in for the most part. The opening half is just about all Kane but Van Dam is able to get some random punches and kicks in, but of course since he’s a main event guy, they work better. I’ve always wondered that.

Why do jobber punches mean nothing while a single right hand from say Austin can stop a guy dead in his tracks? Is it the punch that makes a guy great or is it the guy that makes the punch great? We get weapons brought into the equation and now Van Dam at least has a fighting chance. I wouldn’t call this filler, but it’s certainly not a major match, at least not in my eyes, as it’s sandwiched between the two title matches.

It’s odd to think that RVD has been world champion for far longer than Kane was, twenty two times for that matter. Kane comes off the top with the diving clothesline but misses and hits the barrier which is awesome looking.

This is back when Kane was really quite good in the ring still, but for no reason at all they wouldn’t give Kane the belt in 2002 when he was at his hottest since his debut. Van Dam gets in his usual offense but it was fairly obvious that Kane was getting the win here. RVD goes for the Van Terminator but Kane moves. This leads to the tombstone on the stairs to end it.

Rating: C-. You have a former tag team, no rules, and a violent guy. That should be a solid match wouldn’t you think, especially with two of the bigger names around. This just fell flat to me. It’s ok, but it wasn’t something I wanted to really watch. Some people would probably say it was good and I likely wouldn’t argue with them, but I just couldn’t get into it. I think the placing on the card was bad for this.

In the back Eric is getting iced and Terri asks how he’s feeling. He asks if she’s stupid. This came off as really funny to me when it likely wasn’t that great, but I really liked it. Linda comes in and Eric gets all nervous. She slaps him.

HHH is looking at his title belt. I’ve always wondered if it talks back to him. Flair gives him a pep talk.

The Chamber is lowered.

We get a recap of the first chamber match, including HHH’s legit throat injury. The problem is that we’re never told why these 6 are in this match. We instead get a music video set to St. Anger. From the best I can tell, HHH and Shawn have been kind of feuding, Nash and Jericho I know were feuding, Orton is there because he’s in Evolution, and Goldberg is the next big feud for HHH and his current feud. This is all what I remember and infer from the video.

Raw World Title: Kevin Nash vs. Jericho vs. HHH vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Orton vs. Goldberg

In case you don’t know the rules, you start with six guys, four in the individual pods and two in the ring. After a set amount of time, one of the four are released. It’s pinfall or submission, last man standing wins. Orton is out first, so he’ll be in the pod, as will the next three. I’m 21 years old. That’s how old Orton is here. That’s absolutely scary. Nash, out second, got his hair cut by Jericho on Monday, which in reality was for a movie he was in.

Third is HHH, who I would say needs no introduction but he’s getting one anyway. Flair isn’t with him. Correction yes he is, but just very far behind. HHH was coming off a torn groin at the time so he’s rocking some shorts, kind of like Lashley wears but a bit longer. Think of Cena’s but tights. Goldberg is out fourth so Jericho and HBK will be starting. WWE of course had to change his music, which is dumb because his music was awesome.

The chants have already started. Him walking through the pyro was always cool. JR says that describing Goldberg as intense is like describing the universe as fairly large. Listen here fat boy, I use analogies, not you, UNDERSTAND? Goldberg is also wearing the shorts now and he also looks stupid. I guess it was to avoid looking too much like Austin, which makes sense as he was a pure rip off of him already. The fans are WAY into him.

Orton is just a kid here and he looks almost scared to death. Jericho is next, making Shawn last. HBK is the grizzled veteran here who once again is going for one more shot at the title which would be his storyline going into Mania. The Chamber really does look awesome. There’s the bell and we’re finally ready to go. Jericho and Shawn had the classic at WM 19 so this is going to be good. JR says a coin toss determined who starts. How can you have a six way coin toss?

JR says that HBK dominated the late 80s and early 90s. Am I thinking of a different HBK? The fans are chanting Goldberg so I’m not sure what promotion I’m watching. The announcers do a good job of playing up HBK vs. Jericho as JR talks about the history of the world title changing in Arizona. Dude, you’re either preparing WAY too much or you’re the most bored man in the history of the world. Wait, that’s not right anyway.

That was the original world title, not this one. This belt has only been around about a year at this point, so no it hasn’t changed in Arizona. Are you starting to see why I can’t stand JR? This is probably my favorite period in Jericho’s career. It’s a shame he was turned face soon and feuded with that waste of air Christian. Orton is in third so it’s 2-1 in favor of the heels. I wish he did that cross body more. It’s awesome and always has been.

We get the WOO for Jericho’s chops, which is interesting as Flair is at ringside. I wonder if he considers that a compliment. I’d have to think that he would. Ross is really getting annoying with his repetition of things. Ross calls for Orton to break free of HHH and work for himself. Give it about a year or so there Jimmy boy. They finally go outside the ring and hit the cage a bit and the match instantly gets more interesting.

Shawn goes for…something and Jericho catches him with the Walls. It looked bad as more or less Shawn jumped perfectly for the Walls. Nash is in now as they try as hard as they can to make him sound like a credible threat. Well, he’s been in there 15 seconds and he’s not hurt yet so he can consider tonight a victory of sorts I guess. He has short blond hair here, so he looks completely stupid.

He’s the jobber here as no one, and I mean no one thought he was a legit challenger, despite being the only guy here to actually have beaten Goldberg. Jericho is busted. Nash and HHH had easily the worst Cell match ever earlier this year, ending any credibility that he had left. Apparently Shawn is really close to a lot of people. It’s a shame none of them are named Becca.

Shawn super kicks Nash leading to a Jericho rollup to get rid of him, just furthering the theory that he’s a jobber. HHH is next and in a cool spot he steps through the door and HBK kicks him in the face. HHH falls back into the pod, out cold. Nash, desperate to get injured so he gets more time off with pay I guess, jackknifes Jericho and Orton before leaving. It’s a shame that he couldn’t stay healthy as he’s certainly a decent worker, especially when he’s talking.

He gets a solid pop when he throws his hand in the air, so if nothing else the people still liked him. HHH looks like he’s taking a nap. Shawn is bleeding now too, so at least we’re getting some solid violence in this one. This match isn’t very good. It’s about half the length of the original if even that and it’s just not interesting. All anyone wanted to see was Goldberg and HHH, yet for no good reason, we got this. It’s a novelty and nothing more, and in this case it’s hurting things.

Back in 2002, it was great because it was new and flashy. It’s been a letdown since then and this match is a great example of that. I think a big part of last year being a success also was Shawn’s big moment, which really was cool when you think about it. I’m actually pretty bored right now watching this. I think it’s the lack of drama. Everyone knew that it was coming down to Goldberg and HHH, so why have the other four?

There are a bunch of combinations you could put those guys in, so why have the Chamber other than to bump up buyrates? Goldberg and HHH had the one on one showdown the next month, so it’s not like it was never going to happen. It makes little sense to me and it’s really hurting things because we have to wait 20 minutes before Goldberg is there and another 10 before he and HHH get into it.

What’s the point? Most of the rant is over but I reserve the right to come back to it later on which I likely am going to do. Yeah this is another reason it sucks. Right now and for the last 45 seconds or so, EVERYONE IS DOWN. Literally, we’re watching them lay there and try to get up. Dude I can go to my aunt’s house and watch people lay around and do nothing if that’s what I’m looking for. Why would you have a match based on a lot of action and then do nothing with it?

Who do you think you are, TNA? Of course since we get a fistfight, JR says it’s like Saturday night in some obscure Oklahoma town. Is there really nothing better to do in Oklahoma than get in bar fights and choke in big football games? Oh yeah apparently you can overeat and become the world’s most annoying announcer who does nothing but shout and be a big country boy.

I get that JR is a great announcer and he’s had some masterful moments, but DANG he’s just annoying most of the time. Some of the stuff that he says blows my mind with how annoying it is.

Man I want to just sit here and rant about him for the next few minutes but I guess that would be fairly boring, so instead I’ll continue rambling like this. Oh Goldberg is in and the fans have a pulse again. Good for them. JR says he’s hitting everything with a heartbeat. If that’s so, why isn’t he hitting the camera guys or himself?

Jericho and Shawn commit an ultimate sin and cause a sign of the apocalypse by teaming up to fight Goldberg. Orton gets the heck speared out of him to eliminate him and HHH has been down a LONG time now. Oh he’s up. I guess that’s this being a cowardly heel thing I’ve heard about so many times. I know it’s hard to believe but yes, the WWE does make their heels cowardly from time to time.

In the first really good spot of the match, Goldberg spears Jericho through the Plexiglas. That just looked and sounded awesome. Sweet Chin Music is ducked and Shawn gets speared. I don’t have a Becca joke here. Jackhammer ends him. Just before that he points at HHH and JR says it’s as if he’s saying you’re next to HHH. My oh my what a great phrase JR has coined. How does he EVER come up with these things?

Jericho gets the same combo platter so it’s now one on one but HHH is still in his pod. There’s no way to get him out, so Goldberg kicks and punches the door in. That’s actually really stupid but it was all he could do. Anyway, HHH gets completely destroyed as you would expect. HHH starts coming back so at least this isn’t a squash. The showdown lasts all of 3 minutes though as they go into the ring and Flair slips the hammer to HHH.

Goldberg goes for the spear but he gets a hammer into the head. After the match we get the Evolution beat down. JR says that it’s felonious assault. You know what, that’s so stupid I’m not even going to make fun of it. You Jim Ross, are annoying, plain and simple.

They handcuff him to the cage as JR is saying that they think Evolution doesn’t want to see Goldberg around here anymore. Really JR? Did you figure that all by yourself? Did you manage to tie your own shoes together too? I guess Vince and Linda must like each other since they have kids. HHH poses with the belt as we go off the air.

Rating: D, For reasons already given, this match just sucks and it sucks badly. Actually that makes no sense because it means it’s bad at being bad, making it good. Oh dang it I’m turning into JR. Where’s my Texas shirt when I need it? Anyway, this match was horrible.

It was about two guys and they were together for all of 4 minutes out of 18 the match went for. Last year it was anyone’s to win, even guys like Booker or RVD. This year, we knew it would be one of the two, so why should we care? Add onto that the dead time and Nash and this was just really bad.

Overall Rating: D+. This was really quite bad. There’s one very good match here with Brock and Kurt, but other than that everything is either bad or average at best. I liked the US Title match but for the way it was booked more than the match itself. This show is pretty bad, as was most of the WWE around this time.

Nothing of interest was going on and it wouldn’t until the young blood stepped up and took over next year with Benoit’s title reign and Edge coming back from his injury to fight Evolution. Batista would be back in about a month or so to complete the team, which was both good and bad but that’s a rant for a later time. I wouldn’t watch this again, but Brock and Kurt is definitely worth checking out. Other than that, stay away.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: July 26, 2019
Location: St. Clair College, Windsor, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Don Callis

We’re finally back to a regular show this week after last week’s Mash-Up Tournament show. Next week is the big Unbreakable show, which will feature Tessa Blanchard vs. Sami Callihan for the #1 contendership to the World Title. Tonight it’s Brian Cage vs. Michael Elgin in a street fight, which isn’t likely going to be the next major story. It’s a long way to Bound For Glory so we don’t need to get things going from here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap and preview.

Jordynne Grace vs. Kiera Hogan

Hogan now has blue and silver hair instead of the fire red. I’m not sure if that’s an upgrade or not. Madison Rayne comes out for commentary and now wants to be known as Her Royal Highness The Queen Bee. Grace goes straight for Hogan in the corner and takes her outside for a belly to belly. Since selling isn’t the strong suit of today’s wrestling, Hogan is right back up with a suicide dive to take over. Back in and Hogan stomps away as Madison talks about being friends with Meghan Markle.

A running hip attack in the corner gives Hogan one but it’s a helicopter bomb out of the corner to put Hogan down for two. The Michinoku Driver gets two but Hogan kicks her into the corner for some running basement dropkicks. Hogan unloads with shots to the head until Grace blocks a neckbreaker out of the corner. A Vader Bomb gets two but Hogan sends her outside. That’s fine with Grace, who hits a suplex on the floor but Madison throws Hogan inside. Grace is right there with a bridging cradle for the pin at 8:57.

Rating: D. The lack of selling was really noticeable here as they were doing moves to each other and then popping back up to go to the next move. Hogan being more aggressive and changing her look is fine, but having her lose so soon might not be the best idea. That and focusing so much on Madison again doesn’t do much for me, but Impact certainly loves doing the same stuff over and over again.

The announcers run down the rest of the show.

Brian Cage promises to send Michael Elgin to the hospital this week.

Taya Valkyrie talks to Rosemary about Slammiversary but gets shushed. Their deal is done and unless Taya is willing to offer another title shot, they have nothing to do with each other. John E. Bravo offers to take care of this.

Here’s Sami Callihan for a chat. He demands that Tessa get out here right now so here she is in a hurry. When Sami was first told he was wrestling Tessa, he thought it would be a night off. But then Tessa showed that she has spunk and fire, drawing a TESSA chant. Sami cuts that off and then talks about winning the tournament last week. He can admit when he is wrong and he gave Tessa equality. From one wrestler to another, Sami respects her. He’ll show her respect now, but on August 2, it’s winner take all. They shake hands and he calls her toots and gives her a quick spank. The beating is on and Tessa hits Magnum.

Callihan yells at OVE for not coming to save him but he told them to stay there. Sami says Tessa sucker punched him so next week she can face Mad Man Fulton. Given that she is already scheduled to face Sami next week, that might be a conflict of interests.

Moose vs. Ray Steel

Moose throws him around to start and blocks a whip attempt. No Jackhammer Needed finishes Steel at 58 seconds.

Post match Moose says what matters around here is not being loyal to this place. He’s the guy who has put the company on his back and now he’s here to beat up a piece of garbage. Moose yells at Callis and apron bombs Steel for good measure.

Bravo finds Havok and tells her there will be no Knockouts Title match. She can have some fun with him though. Havok chokes him, which Bravo calls the hard way.

Video on the North retaining the Tag Team Titles at Slammiversary.

The Rascalz get a Tag Team Title match next week. Joking ensues and Gail Kim of all people pops in to talk about the Jonas Brothers.

Flashback Moment of the Week: Kurt Angle beats Matt Morgan at Bound For Glory 2009.

Kiera Hogan and Madison Rayne argue and Melissa Santos walks off.

Ace Austin hits on Alisha Edwards with some magic and gets blown off. An unnamed woman comes in and hits on Austin but he isn’t interested.

Willie Mack vs. Rob Van Dam

Rob takes his time coming out of the curtain for some reason. As Callis talks about Rob being relatively injury free over his career (not quite), Rob works a headlock to start. Mack snaps off a spinwheel kick and Rob needs to stop for a breather. They head outside with Rob kicking him in the face as Callis continues to talk about how big Rob is. The running cannonball off the apron drops Mack again but a charge against the barricade is cut off without much effort.

Back in and a pump kick in the corner sets up a reverse cannonball in the corner. The standing moonsault gets two, with Josh calling the match one sided. Mack has been in control for about a minute and a half chum. Rob kicks him back down but the split legged moonsault hits knees. A Backstabber puts Rob down again but he’s right back with a springboard kick to the face.

Another kick to the face sets up Rolling Thunder for two and Mack is in trouble. He’s fine enough to come back with a cutter for a breather, followed by an exploder suplex. Mack’s frog splash misses though and it’s the stepover kick and it’s the Five Star to finish Mack at 12:22.

Rating: C+. Van Dam still looks slow and old but he can still do his greatest hits well enough. I’m not sure I would have had him go over someone with the potential that Mack has but Van Dam is the legend around here and is going to get a win like this every now and then. Not a bad match, but it got Rob some momentum back.

They shake hands post match.

Ace hits on Alisha again but can’t get her to put her hand in a box and grab a live bird. The box is just below Austin’s stomach in case you don’t get the joke. Alisha leaves and Stone Rockwell comes up to grab whatever is in the box, making Austin wince. Rockwell: “Seems malnourished.”

Ortiz, with a censored bottle in his hand, rants to Konnan about wanting to finish the North. Konnan tells him to calm down because Daga is going to replace the injured (torn MCL) Santana. Daga comes in and Ortiz isn’t happy, but Konnan says he has this.

Michael Elgin thinks it’s non-title tonight because Cage is scared. Cage needs to stop worrying about his fiance (who is holding the mic) and worry about him instead.

X-Division Title: Jake Crist vs. Rich Swann

Swann is defending and Crist is here alone. Crist headlocks him down to start Swann reverses into an armbar and they flip up to a standoff. Swann wastes no time in sending him outside for a flip dive but here’s Dave Crist, who gets kicked in the face. The distraction lets Jake hit a running DDT on the floor though and we take a break.

Back with Jake working Swann over in the corner before grabbing the reverse Rings of Saturn. That’s broken up so it’s a camel clutch to keep Swann in trouble. Swann breaks out of that as well and rolls forward into a flipping clothesline. Some kicks to the head give Swann two but he jumps into a Death Valley Driver for two as well. They slug it out again with Swann getting the better of it and hitting a top rope elbow for another near fall.

It takes too long to go up again though and it’s a superplex into a swinging neckbreaker for two on Swann. An exchange of kicks to the head sets up the Phoenix splash but Dave puts the foot on the rope. Swann cutters both of them but it’s Mad Man Fulton coming out to shove Swann into a cutter from Jake. Sliced Bread #2 gives Jake the pin and the title at 15:46.

Rating: B. This feels like a bigger deal because Swann had been built up as a huge star. There is no reason to not put him into the main event now as there isn’t anything left for him to do in the X-Division. It was a surprise title change and it wasn’t clear, and it even came at the end of a rather good match. These two worked well together and the ending was the best way to get the title out of Swann in a singles match.

Post break Sami says the team won the title and doesn’t like Jake calling himself the Golden Draw. Sami: “IT’S SILVER!” They need to focus on Tessa.

Unbreakable rundown.

Brian Cage vs. Michael Elgin

Non-title street fight. Hang on though as Cage crawls through the curtain and it’s Elgin standing over him with a chair. Elgin chokes him with the chair in the ring but stops to grab a mic. He rants about this being non-title because Cage is scared of him. Elgin grabs another chair and hits the Conchairto on Cage’s head as we won’t be having a match here.

Security is quickly beaten up and Elgin wraps the chair around Cage’s head. Cue Melissa Santos to beg but the masked man comes in for the save. Elgin chairs him in the face but a second masked man comes in to Gore him down. The second masked man runs into the crowd and unmasks as Rhyno (it wasn’t really a secret) to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. The wrestling was up and down here but they got in some angle advancement and storytelling so the show worked well. This felt like the big fallout show from Slammiversary and while they did lose some momentum, it was still a good show that picked up where the previous stuff took off. Unbreakable can be a nice stepping stone towards Bound For Glory and Impact could be in a good place for a while to come.

Results

Jordynne Grace b. Kiera Hogan – Bridging cradle

Moose b. Ray Steel – No Jackhammer Needed

Rob Van Dam b. Willie Mack – Five Star Frog Splash

Jake Crist b. Rich Swann – Sliced Bread #2

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Summerslam 2002
Date: August 25, 2002
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial, Uniondale, New York
Attendance: 14,797
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Jim Ross

It’s very rare that a Summerslam is the biggest show of the year but that might be the case in 2002. Wrestlemania XVIII was in a much bigger venue and had a much bigger top match but as far as a whole card goes from top to bottom, this might have it beaten. The big matches here are Brock Lesnar challenging the Rock for the Undisputed Title and HHH vs. Shawn Michaels in a grudge match with Shawn making his first in-ring appearance since 1998. Let’s get to it.

Not much of an opening video other than the theme song over shots of the crowd.

Opening sequence.

Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio

Rey showed Angle up recently and Kurt wants to prove that it’s just a fluke. Angle’s singlet looks like a barber pole and Rey sneaks in from behind with a springboard ankle scissors. The ankle lock goes on in less than thirty seconds but Rey sends him into the ropes with Kurt having to duck the 619.

A hard wheelbarrow suplex sends Rey hard onto the mat and one heck of a clothesline gives Angle two. Rey’s back is bent around the middle rope and Angle is getting a bit too cocky. A one legged Liontamer has Mysterio in even more trouble but a rollup gives him a fast two. Rey is certainly sticking around well enough so far.

That just ticks Angle off though and he throws Rey with a belly to belly. Kurt misses a charge though and goes sailing over the top but the referee won’t let Mysterio fly. That’s fine with Rey who flips OVER THE REFEREE to take Kurt down. The fans are losing their mind and Rey Dropping the Dime (springboard legdrop) for two makes them even worse. Now the 619 connects and the West Coast Pop is good for a VERY near fall. Rey puts him on top for a super hurricanrana but Angle slips out and grabs the ankle lock for the submission at 9:20.

Rating: A-. What a match. This is one of the best opening matches in company history as they just do not stop for the better part of ten minutes. It’s an outstanding performance with Rey getting his big breakout performance and Angle showing that he’s still one of the best in the world.

Stephanie McMahon brags about that match and tells a production guy to tell Eric Bischoff about it. She goes into her office and….there’s Eric, who seems to be sharing the office with her. I’m sure comedy and drama will ensue.

Ric Flair vs. Chris Jericho

Standard “you’re old and it’s my time so get out” feud with the required broken guitars to ruin a mid-show concert segment as well. This is actually Flair’s in-ring debut at Summerslam. Feeling out process to start and we hear about Jericho becoming the first ever Undisputed Champion. JR: “Not too many people can claim that.” Yeah Jim. I think it’s like, one or so.

Jericho misses an elbow drop and the chops start flying. They head outside with Jericho sending him into the barricade, followed by a middle rope dropkick for two back inside. Some suplexes stay on Flair’s back so you certainly can’t fault Jericho’s psychology. This time it’s Jericho taking too much time going up though and Flair slams him right back down.

The Walls are countered into a small package for two but Jericho goes extra evil by grabbing the Figure Four (I said evil, not original). In a creative save, Flair grabs the rope and then taps out, which means the hold is broken and the submission doesn’t count. The referee gets bumped and it’s a low blow into the Figure Four to make Jericho tap at 10:23.

Rating: C+. This was fine and while I’m not wild on having Flair go over Jericho, at least he lost in a good match to a dirty finish. If nothing else it could mean a whiny Jericho and that’s nothing but entertainment. Oh and Flair low blows are always worth checking out, just for how hard he hits those things.

Ad for a Hogan DVD.

Paul Heyman loves the idea of the Hogan DVD because it looks like they’re trying to squeeze out the final few dollars from his body after Lesnar destroyed him. Tonight, Lesnar destroys the Rock.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Edge

Apparently Eddie is mad that Edge fancies himself a sex symbol. I don’t really remember that being brought up on TV leading up to this match but maybe it was subtext. Eddie snaps the back of Edge’s neck across the top rope and takes over, only to get thrown across the ring.

Edge ties him up in the ropes and hits a spear but a second attempt misses to send the Canadian outside. That might mean a bad shoulder so Eddie sends him into the steps. Back to back DDT’s on the arm including one from the top get two on Edge and we hit a Kimura of all things.

It’s off to a crossface chickenwing and then a top wristlock which is a very good idea. I get so bored watching matches where we get the same hold over and over. There are so many holds that can be used on the same body part so mixing it up like this helps so much. Edge fights back with a one armed slam and a faceplant to send Eddie outside.

It doesn’t take two good arms to dive out to the floor so Edge takes Eddie out all over again. Back in and a super sitout gordbuster gives Edge two more, followed by the Edgecution for the same. Eddie goes right back to the shoulder but walks into the spear (more on that in a second) at 11:47.

Rating: B-. This was going to be much higher until that completely ridiculous ending. Eddie spent eleven minutes working on the arm and then Edge just uses the shoulder for the spear to end the match with nothing more than a flinch? There’s no excuse for that and Edge should know better.

The Un-Americans are ready to give the greedy Americans more. More of the Un-Americans that is.

Tag Team Titles: Goldust/Booker T. vs. Un-Americans

Lance Storm and Christian are defending. Goldust cleans house to start before it’s off to Booker, who JR describes as being “as Americana as Americana can be.” The Canadians are still reeling so Storm throws Goldust over the corner to take over, setting up some of those weird hopping stomps.

Christian gets two on a backbreaker, which JR says works on the back. Something like a Boss Man Slam gets Goldust out of trouble but Christian grabs a front facelock. As you might expect, that means a missed tag so Goldust has to catapult the champions into each other.

That’s STILL not enough for the tag though as the champs knock Booker off the apron, only to miss a Conchairto. The USA chant starts up and there’s the hot tag to Booker who scores with a missile dropkick on Christian. Storm hits the referee by mistake and both champions take the same ax kick. Cue Test to kick Booker’s head off, giving Christian the pin at 9:35.

Rating: C. The match was fine but the ending brought it down a good bit with the standard WWE style finish hurting things a lot. At least we had a good match to get there and the Un-Americans are still fine for heel champions. The Test stuff gets annoying but you had to know it was coming as soon as the ref went down.

There’s a Make Out with Nidia Contest at the World. We’re moving on before that sinks in.

Stephanie and Bischoff debate women’s place in wrestling. McMahon: “It’s like mine: ON TOP!” This turns into a discussion of the Intercontinental Title match and GOOD GRIEF Stephanie’s acting is somehow worse here.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Benoit

This is Raw vs. Smackdown and Benoit is defending. A kick to the leg sends Benoit outside but he comes back in and easily takes Van Dam down until Rob starts spinning around to escape. The release German suplex drops him again though and Benoit starts in on the neck to set up for the Crossface later on.

A Dynamite Kid snap suplex gets two on Van Dam but he avoids the Swan Dive. Chris does the same to the Five Star though and it’s time for the Crossface. The long legs get Van Dam over to the ropes so Benoit shoves him off the top and down onto the barricade for a crash. Benoit cranks on the arms for a bit and slams him head first into the mat to keep Van Dam in trouble.

It’s right back to the Crossface with Van Dam quickly breaking free, only to be sent shoulder first into the post. Some suplexes onto the arm make me realize that Eddie probably should have worked something other than the arm if Benoit, whose finisher is an arm hold, was going to do this.

Another Crossface is about to be broken so Benoit switches into a dragon sleeper of all things. That’s escaped as well and Van Dam’s hair is down in a very rare sight. Rolling Thunder gets two on Benoit but he’s able to crotch Rob on top. You don’t try a belly to back superplex on a high flier though as Rob crossbodies his way out, setting up the Five Star for the pin and the title at 16:22.

Rating: B. Sometimes you just need to have two talented guys go out there and have a match. The shoulder didn’t quite play into the finish but at least Van Dam’s finisher isn’t done with his arm. I liked this more than I was expecting to and that’s always a positive, especially on a show this stacked.

Bischoff gloats so Stephanie laughs at him. WELL OF COURSE SHE DOES! How dare we suggest that Stephanie not have some kind of ace up her sleeve? That’s why people get tired of Stephanie: she almost NEVER has to give up anything and it gets old in a hurry. I’m sure she’s stolen some other talent and Bischoff will be crushed while Stephanie gets to dance around and talk about how great Smackdown and its fans really are.

Video on the Un-Americans to set up Test vs. Undertaker.

Undertaker vs. Test

JR says Undertaker has a big home field advantage. I get what he’s going for but we’re MUCH closer to Canada and Toronto in general than we are to Houston. But then again, never underestimate how hard an American announcer is going to push his countryman in a feud like this. Undertaker starts with a hiptoss of all things but a knee to the ribs cuts off some driving shoulders.

Test shoves the referee into the ropes to break up Old School and since this isn’t Raw, that’s not a DQ. After a quick trip to the floor, Test very slowly hammers away in the corner and drops a knee on the ribs. It’s off to an armbar of all things until Undertaker fights up and suplexes his way to freedom. AMERICAN freedom that is.

The pumphandle slam doesn’t work so Undertaker plants him with a chokeslam for a delayed two. Cue Storm and Christian for a distraction so Test can get in the big boot for two of his own. Test grabs a chair and shoves the referee down, allowing Undertaker to kick the chair straight back into his face. The Tombstone ends Test at 8:20.

Rating: D. This was fine for a long Raw match but on a show with this much talent around, it’s only going to go so far. Undertaker winning is fine enough as it’s really hard to buy Test beating someone who was in the main event of last month’s pay per view going toe to toe to toe with Rock and Kurt Angle.

Undertaker goes into the crowd and grabs an American flag for some posing.

We get a long and very good recap of HHH vs. Shawn Michaels. They used to be friends and Shawn came back as part of the NWO. After the team was disbanded, Shawn came back again and was made into HHH’s manager. That wasn’t cool with Shawn and his Texas pride so HHH beat him up twice in a row, including putting Shawn through a car window. Shawn is willing to have one more fight (not match, but fight) here tonight.

HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Anything goes and unsanctioned with Shawn in jeans. Shawn hammers away to start and spears HHH down for more right hands. They’re quickly on the floor with Shawn ramming him head first into the post. It’s time for some toys, including a trashcan to HHH’s head and a top rope right hand for the same.

Sweet Chin Music misses less than three minutes in and Shawn walks into a spinebuster for the first real shot to his bad back. Like a smart villain, HHH starts in on the back but Shawn says bring it, earning himself a kick to the chest. One heck of a chair shot to the back has Shawn’s face in agony, which is where so much of this match’s strength comes from. Michaels could tell such a story with his face and it really does bring you deeper into the story they’re trying to tell.

Shawn gets in a desperation rollup for two but walks into the facebuster to cut him off again. A DDT on the chair gets two and we’ve got some blood. HHH steals Shawn’s belt for a good old fashioned whipping followed by a few buckle shots to the cut head. With Shawn pulling himself to his feet, it’s sledgehammer time. As is his custom though, Shawn cuts HHH off at the exactly right time, earning himself an abdominal stretch.

HHH goes for the hammer again but Earl Hebner calls him off and yells a lot. A superplex is broken up so HHH blasts him in the back with the chair again. There’s a side slam through an open chair and Shawn looks dead. You can feel the fans getting more and more into this and JR wants the referee to do a fast count. Shawn kicks out and now HHH is getting frustrated because Michaels won’t stay down.

Another side slam onto a closed chair gets the same and HHH covers three times in a row. The Pedigree is broken up by a low blow and you can feel the crowd coming back to life. HHH grabs the chair but a desperation superkick knocks it into HHH’s face to draw blood as well. Shawn hits the forearm into the nipup and the fans actually come to their feet as it’s the old Shawn one more time. A great chair shot to the head drops HHH and Shawn picks up the belt to even things up a bit from earlier.

Shawn bulldogs the very bloody HHH onto the steps to knock him even sillier. Since that’s not enough, let’s bring in a ladder too. Said ladder is thrown inside but HHH baseball slides it into Shawn’s ribs for a breather. HHH goes up top for some reason and it’s a superplex to bring him back down for two. Now the steps are brought in but Shawn drop toeholds HHH into them before knocking him outside again.

With nothing else left, here’s a table too with Shawn splashing HHH off the top through the wood. HHH very slowly rolls back in and Shawn brings the ladder inside again. The big elbow off the ladder crushes HHH and Shawn pops right back up. It’s superkick time but HHH counters into the Pedigree which is countered into a jackknife rollup for the pin at 27:19.

Rating: A+. My goodness what a performance. That’s the only way to put it as Shawn basically started all over again and had this kind of an amazing match. This was some outstanding storytelling with Michaels taking us to the very brink but fighting back until there was an actual way to believe he could pull it off. HHH was at his most dastardly here and that makes for one heck of a match. This is one of the best matches of both of their careers and the circumstances make it even more amazing. Shawn timed that comeback as well as anything I’ve ever seen and I got swept up in the match all over again. Just excellent.

Post match, HHH hits a celebrating Shawn in the back with a sledgehammer to go biggest heel ever. Shawn does a stretcher job, seemingly putting him out of action for a long time. Oh and one more thing: for some reason HHH has tried to claim that this match was forty five minutes long. Even if you count the entrances and the post match stuff, it’s less than thirty six minutes total. That’s a big stretch even in wrestling, which is covering a lot of ground.

Here’s Howard Finkel of all people to talk about how he hasn’t been here since Wrestlemania II but you’ll always have him because of loyalty. Cue Trish Stratus (who has been feuding with a sexist Finkel) but the Fink doesn’t want to hear from someone who thinks she’s hot stuff because of her looks. Trish hits on him and Finkel makes sex jokes until Lillian Garcia (who is having the real issues with him) to slap Howard in the face and kick him low. This was just a way to calm things down after the previous match but it was still stupid.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. The Rock. Lesnar won the King of the Ring tournament to earn this show and Rock won the title at Vengeance. Brock has run through the company but this is by far his biggest test to date.

Undisputed Title: Brock Lesnar vs. The Rock

Lesnar is challenging and has Paul Heyman in his corner. The fans are ALL OVER Rock as he charges right into a belly to belly, further banging up his already injured ribs. Some backbreakers have the fans cheering for Rock though and Brock takes him outside for a beating in the crowd.

Back in and another belly to belly sends Rock flying for two. Heyman even gets in a little choking as Rock’s right hands are cut off by a powerslam. Brock charges into the post and three straight clotheslines finally put him down for two. It’s off to a bad Sharpshooter with Rock nowhere near sitting on Brock’s back.

Heyman finally gets on the apron for a distraction but Lesnar saves his agent from a Rock Bottom. The distraction lets a chair go into Rock’s ribs, setting up a bearhug into a waistlock on the mat. This stays on WAY too long but to be fair, Lesnar isn’t really capable of having a long match on his own just yet.

Rock punches his way out but takes one heck of a running shoulder to the ribs in the corner. Lesnar gets punched (you might notice a pattern emerging here) outside again and it’s announcers’ table time. Instead though Brock gets catapulted into the table and Heyman takes a very slow motion Rock Bottom through the table.

Back in and the Rock Bottom only gets two but Lesnar grabs one of his own (JR: “Brock Bottom?”) for another near fall. The spinebuster looks to set up the People’s Elbow but Brock jumps up for a BIG clothesline. Brock can’t hit the F5 but reverses the Rock Bottom into the F5 for the pin and the title at 16:02.

Rating: B. It’s not a classic but the key thing here is that Brock reversed Rock’s finisher into his own for the completely clean pin. Heyman hadn’t been a factor for about five minutes so the pinfall is WAY more important. Lesnar won because he was better here (ignoring the rib injuries but that was hardly cheating). This was a good match but it’s important and well done which is all that matters.

Overall Rating: A. This is one of the best pay per views the company has ever put on and pretty easily the best Summerslam ever. The worst match of the night was Undertaker vs. Test and even that was watchable. Throw in a masterpiece like HHH vs. Michaels and this is an instant classic, which isn’t often the case at Summerslam.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Ratings Comparison

Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A-

2017 Redo: A-

Chris Jericho vs. Ric Flair

Original: B

2013 Redo: C

2017 Redo: C+

Eddie Guerrero vs. Edge

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2017 Redo: B-

Un-Americans vs. Booker T/Goldust

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: C

Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Benoit

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2017 Redo: B

Undertaker vs. Test

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2017 Redo: D

Shawn Michaels vs. HHH

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2017 Redo: A+

The Rock vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2017 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2017 Redo: A

Still a masterpiece.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/05/history-of-summerslam-count-up-summerslam-2002-best-summerslam-ever/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/08/07/summerslam-count-up-2002-the-performance-of-a-lifetime/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6