IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: December 30, 2004
Location: Lakefront Arena, New Orleans, Louisiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’ll wrap up the year here as we’re back stateside after Tribute to the Troops. With that out of the way, it’s time to head towards the Royal Rumble, which hasn’t really been set up yet. It’s hard to say what we’re going to be getting tonight as Smackdown can go anywhere from one extreme to the other. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

General Manager Theodore Long announces that tonight will be the Night of Champions with every champion defending their title against an opponent of their choosing. I think you know where this is going.

Opening sequence.

Here’s John Cena to get things going. Cena talks about the calendar changing but the champ is still here. His New Year’s Resolution is to start a revolution, meaning that from now on there is no such thing as a John Cena fan. From now on, you’re a part of the chain gang and the same of him. They all fight and ride together and since they’re so close, Cena goes out into the crowd. Back in the ring, it’s time for the US Title match so come get a shot.

US Title: John Cena vs. Rene Dupree

Cena is defending and say if you want some, come get some, making this the first ever US Open Challenge. Dupree comes charging in and gets caught in a fisherman’s buster, allowing Cena to put on his robe. That means a funny little dance before the Shuffle and it’s time for Dupree to bail. Cena won’t have that though and catches Dupree with some headbutts. Back in and Dupree manages to whip him into the corner and then avoid a high crossbody, setting up the French Tickler. Cena is fine enough to drop him throat first across the top rope and the FU is good for the pin.

Rating: D. This was pretty much a squash with Cena barely breaking a sweat. The important thing here though is that Cena looked like a star and a main eventer, though there has been no mention of him going after the World Title yet. You can see the confidence in his eyes and that’s a great sign for the future.

JBL and Amy Weber have some great idea when they run into Joy Giovanni. Amy calls her fat and Joy asks what is up with the weird skin hanging from Amy’s neck. JBL yells at Joy but Big Show interrupts. Show wants the title shot tonight, which JBL will take into consideration. Amy and Joy are acceptable in these roles, assuming you ignore that the roles don’t need to exist.

Here’s Kurt Angle for his open challenge. He wants the shot at JBL as well, because Angle made him tap out two weeks ago. First though, let’s get on with the challenge.

Kurt Angle vs. Matt Stryker

Not the well known Striker. Angle wrestles him to the mat and hits a few shots to the head. The ankle lock is good for the tap in less than a minute.

Rob Van Dam and Rey Mysterio go over possible opponents for tonight. Van Dam suggests Moolah and Mae Young when Eddie Guerrero and Booker T. come in. The challenge is thrown out and I think you know where this is going. Eddie and Booker get in an argument over what the team name should be, with Booker thinking his name should be first because it’s alphabetical. Eddie: “What alphabet is that? The ebonics alphabet???”

We look back at Undertaker vs. Heidenreich last week with Heidenreich walking out. They’ll meet again at the Royal Rumble and Undertaker gets to pick the stipulation. We really need to build to that?

Daniel Puder introduces himself to the locker room but knocks someone’s bag off the bench. That would be Hardcore Holly, who doesn’t want to hear about Puder training for eight weeks. Puder apologizes for Holly taking eleven years to get here but wonders why Holly has never been in the main event of Wrestlemania. That’s where Puder is going to go after he wins the Royal Rumble. Holly thinks Puder has a lot to learn.

Long has another random woman in his office when JBL, Weber and Orlando Jordan come in. JBL is glad about getting to choose his opponent and has everyone’s name in a fish bowl. He draws a name and wants to go again but Long says it’s whoever is on that paper. JBL reluctantly agrees.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Shannon Moore

Moore is challenging and takes the Clothesline From JBL for the pin in about twenty seconds.

Post match Long comes out because he knows something is up. He wants to see what’s in the fish bowl, which Amy tries to hide. JBL yells a lot and Amy tries to leave but Joy jumps her from behind and the papers fall on the floor. As luck would have it, Long finds every paper has Moore’s name. Since JBL got to pick tonight, Long will pick for the Royal Rumble. That would be Kurt Angle, who comes out and calls JBL a liar, along with BUCKO. Angle calls him out for beating up someone small, with JBL saying Angle does that every week. Long cuts it off with a surprise: it’s going to be a triples threat match, also including Big Show.

Carlito doesn’t like Long and has a New Year’s Resolution of his own: to get rid of Long as GM. You can feel the petition coming from here. Josh Matthews can also feel the apple landing on his face from the spit.

Here’s Heidenreich for a chat because it seems that they’re giving us a break from the wrestling this week. Heidenreich insists that he is NOT scared of the Undertaker and even tried to give Undertaker a way out last week. Now Undertaker wants more? The Royal Rumble will be his final resting place because Heidenreich does not fear him.

Undertaker’s voice is heard and he promises to make Heidenreich rest in peace. Cue the druids with the casket, which of course has Undertaker inside. Heidenreich freaks as Cole speculates that we could be having a casket match. This would be your weekly example of “we don’t need commentary here”.

Mark Jindrak and Luther Reigns say they should be getting the Tag Team Title shot tonight because they’re awesome. The Basham Brothers come in to say they’re the real competition because they’re former champions. Eddie and Booker come in to say they’re winning the titles.

Cruiserweight Title: Funaki vs. Spike Dudley

Funaki is defending in an Armageddon rematch. Spike starts fast with some slams to start but the top rope double stomp misses. That’s not good enough for Funaki to get away so Spike wraps the ribs around the post. Tazz starts singing Auld Lang Syne as Spike stomps away in the corner. Commentary switches to a discussion about Dick Clark as the audio is clearly being dubbed over something else. Funaki gets in an enziguri and a bulldog for two, followed by a sunset flip (with a pretty fast count) to retain.

Rating: D+. They barely had time to do anything here and I had almost forgotten that Funaki was champion. The Cruiserweight division is already looking like it could go away with nothing changing and that’s not a good sign so soon after a new champion. There are talented cruiserweights around, but if they’re never going to be featured, it doesn’t really matter.

Long video on Tribute To The Troops.

Michelle McCool, Rochelle and Lauren are in the back and hit on Cena as he gets coffee. He doesn’t like being interrupted but changes his tune very quickly when he sees who they are. Lauren: “Can we see it?” Michelle: “Can we touch it?” Rochelle: “Can we play with it?” They mean the spinner belt. Cena seems pleased.

Raw Rebound.

RVD thinks Dawn Marie and Torrie Wilson should get the shot. Rey goes with the actual pick of Booker and Eddie (with Cole being shocked, as you knew he would be). Rey: “THEN we’ll face Dawn Marie and Torrie Wilson.”

Tag Team Titles: Eddie Guerrero/Booker T. vs. Rob Van Dam/Rey Mysterio

Eddie and Booker are challenging and during their entrances, we hear about how awesome last week was. Rey and Eddie start things off with Rey hitting a quick headscissors for an early standoff. We’ll switch things up a bit as Eddie grabs a hammerlock but that’s broken up as well, meaning the second standoff. Booker comes in and muscles Rey into the corner until Rey pops up with a dropkick.

It’s off to Van Dam and the fans are rather pleased with the change of pace. A headlock slows Booker down so he suplexes his way out, only to have Rob grab it again on the mat. Rob slams him down and it’s the 4:20 for two more. Everything breaks down for a bit with Rey being sent outside so the champs can take a breather. Back from a break with Rey missing a charge into the post to put him in trouble.

Eddie comes in for some right hands and sends Rey into a spinning kick to the face from Booker. Rey fights back with forearms to Eddie and a tornado DDT to put both of them down. Van Dam comes in for some shots to the face which don’t appear to have the most effort behind them. A monkey flip sets up the Five Star to Eddie so Booker makes a save. This time it’s Van Dam going shoulder first into the post and Booker clotheslines him down to break up a tag attempt.

Eddie hits Three Amigos for two on Van Dam with Rey making his own save. Booker grabs the chinlock as things settle down a bit. Rey has to break up a cover off a Book End, this time allowing Rob to kick Booker in the face. It’s back to Rey for a super hurricanrana on Booker but the ref gets bumped.

The 619 hits Booker but Eddie breaks up the springboard. Booker kicks Rey and Rob kicks Booker, followed by a hurricanrana to take both of them to the floor. With no referee, Eddie is tempted to go after a title, which he throws to Rey for the old playing possum spot. The referee actually catches on this time and Rey grabs a victory roll to retain.

Rating: B. This felt like a match where they were getting ready to launch into a great one but they just never got to that other level. Either way, it’s very nice to end the year on a rather good match with four people who can go for a long time. Counting commercials, this was over twenty minutes, which you don’t see to often.

Eddie and Booker aren’t happy but seem to agree that it was fair to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The main event helped but it felt like a lot of the people were taking the last week of the year off. Aside from the main event, nothing got any serious time with two of the matches adding up to less than a minute and a half. That being said, it makes a lot of sense to have a lighter show like this as they can start the build to the Royal Rumble next week. This was basically a week off and that’s ok given that it wasn’t likely to be a show many people were going to be watching in the first place.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: May 24, 2019
Location: 2300 Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Don Callis

You knew this was coming at some point and there was no way around it. This week’s show is headlined by an ECW tribute match between Rob Van Dam and Tommy Dreamer. They’re both somewhat regulars around here, but I still can’t stand it when the promotion stops what they’re doing to praise a promotion that went out of business nearly twenty years ago. How many times have they done this over the years? Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap of last week’s pretty good show.

Opening sequence.

Sami Callihan vs. Fallah Bahh

Sami is on his own but Bahh has Scarlett Bordeaux. Callihan goes straight at him in the corner so Bahh is back with a clothesline and running splash. Some running clotheslines don’t do much to Bahh, who slams Callihan with little effort. Bahh’s spinning elbow gets two and the toe goes into Sami’s mouth.

That earns Bahh a bite and Callihan is knocked outside. They head outside with the spit chop having Bahh in even more trouble. A middle rope clothesline knocks Bahh down again and it’s back to the toe. Some shots to the head anger Bahh, but he gets taken right back down into a chinlock. Bahh fights up again and screams his name a lot, meaning it’s time for some chops and a belly to belly.

The Banzai Drop is loaded up too early and Sami knees him down for two. The Samoan drop (he likes drops) plants Sami to set up the Banzai Drop but here are the Crists for the save. Jake superkicks Dave by mistake so Scarlett takes Jake down, leaving Bahh to plant Sami. Bahh hits the suicide dive onto the Crists but a hanging Cactus Special finishes Bahh (with feet on the ropes) at 10:47.

Rating: C-. Not too bad here with a lot of stuff going on to make it a little better. Scarlett and Bahh’s Beauty and the Beast thing is an easy way to go, though Scarlett seems to be destined for something a lot bigger. Bahh has been putting in the effort recently though and has slimmed down a bit. I still see potential in OVE, but they never really break through to the other side for some reason.

Tommy Dreamer talks about wrestling Rob Van Dam in this building in 1996 (first match I can find for them there was in 1997). Then they headlined Madison Square Garden to unify the Hardcore and Intercontinental Titles (that match didn’t headline the show) and then Hardcore Justice (Dreamer and Van Dam were never involved in a match together, either working with or against each other, at any Hardcore Justice event, nor did Dreamer ever main event one of those shows). They’ll bring it against each other and make it extreme one more time. Or for the first time since he isn’t the most accurate narrator.

Johnny Impact has the red X from United We Stand that makes him #1 contender to the X-Division Title. He insults Michael Elgin, who is right behind him. Impact backpedals and suggests that they team up against Rich Swann and Willie Mack.

Knockouts Title: Madison Rayne vs. Taya Valkyrie

Taya is defending after losing to Madison in a series of non-title matches. Madison chases her outside and then back inside so the punching can begin. A middle rope crossbody gives Madison two and we take a break. Back with Madison getting two off a cutter to send Taya outside. Taya suckers her to the floor and gets in a kick to the leg to take over. With Don making some subtle references to Josh being Madison’s husband, Taya starts in on the leg. That means we stop for some posing before it’s off to the half crab.

The rope break gets Madison out of trouble so it’s the swinging Rock Bottom to take her down again. The limping Madison forearms back, only to walk into a spear. Madison is right back with her own half crab (which she used to win last time). Taya evens up the rope grabbing score and grabs the referee for a distraction, setting up the Road to Valhalla to retain the title at 14:07.

Rating: C. This was a good way to wrap up the story which didn’t overstay its welcome. Madison might not be the most interesting talent in the world but she’s more than capable of having a match like this. Taya winning when she had to makes her seem especially dangerous, though you can feel the showdown with Tessa coming from here, as should be the case.

Post match here’s Rosemary with the chained up Su Yung so Taya bails in a hurry.

The Deaners eat and talk about getting in shape. Their solution: beers and cheese steaks.

Rosemary and Yung run into James Mitchell, who isn’t happy with them. He wants Yung back but Rosemary tells him to go back and cower at his father’s boots. Rosemary wants the title now and Yung is going to die.

Flashback Moment Of The Week: Sami Callihan vs. Pentagon from last year’s Slammiversary.

Eddie Edwards talks about his highs and lows with Kenny by his side. Next week, he’s getting back at Killer Kross for breaking Kenny in half.

The Rascalz hate training and argue with each other so the smoke starts up again and everything is calm. We get a fresh training montage, which goes far better than last week.

The North vs. LAX

Non-title. Santana works on Alexander’s arm to start and it’s quickly off to Ortiz for a rollup. Page comes in and takes LAX’s rapid fire double teaming, setting up a suicide dive onto Alexander. Back in and Alexander takes Ortiz down for a top rope elbow from Page as the villains take over. A suplex out of the corner gives Alexander two and Page grabs the chinlock.

That’s broken up in short order and Santana comes in off the hot tag to clean house. A dropkick through the ropes sends Page up the ramp and it’s time for some kicks to Alexander’s head. Page comes back in for a knee to Santana’s head to give Alexander two of his own and a double Neutralizer is good for the same on Ortiz. LAX has had it though and their rapid fire kicks into the double belly to back faceplant finishes Alexander at 8:19.

Rating: C+. Nice match here, despite the North being one of the least interesting teams this side of the Desi Hit Squad. I know Don Callis is booking but is that really the best idea they have? They’re the tag team version of Petey Williams with the main sticking point of their characters being that they’re from Canada. At least the match was pretty good though, which does help a lot.

Here’s Glenn Gilbertti for a special exhibition. He hates women’s wrestling and wants to prove how worthless women are so here’s Ashley Vox to challenge him. Gilbertti asks which of the boys she’s dating because she must have been fired from Hooters.

Glenn Gilbertti vs. Ashley Vox

Gilbertti shoves her down to start and talks trash on the mic while sending her into the buckle and grabbing a hard headlock on the mat. Gilbertti: “I know this isn’t a five star match but it’s not my fault!” More trash talk lets Vox get in a rollup and some dropkicks so Gilbertti hits the Chartbuster. That’s good for two with Gilbertti pulling her up and shouting that Vox kicked out of his finish. Cue Tessa Blanchard to chase Gilbertti off for the no contest at about 3:30.

Rating: F. I get what they’re going for (it’s not exactly subtle) and Gilbertti is good at what he’s doing, but this feels like it’s out of 1984. This was going to be Eli Drake and that would have helped with the blowoff, because there is no reason to believe that this is going to end with anything other than Tessa beating him in ten seconds. They spent months building up Tessa for Gail Kim and this is the best they have for her? You can’t just have her slaughter some jobbers for a few weeks until she has something else to do? It’s not the worst, but it certainly feels like a bottom of the barrel storyline.

Rohit Raju vs. Petey Williams vs. Ace Austin vs. Dezmond Xavier

They start fast with Austin hitting a springboard spinning kick to Raju’s jaw. Petey’s slingshot Codebreaker staggers Austin and a running bulldog drops him onto Raju. Austin breaks up a very early Canadian Destroyer attempt and it’s time to cut Raju’s finger with the playing card. Dez comes in and fires off the strikes, plus a suicide dive onto Raju. Austin adds his own dive and kicks some people in the head. Petey comes back in with a Canadian Destroyer to Austin but Raju stomps on his back to break up one on Dez. The backflip kick to Raju’s head gives Dez the pin at 3:49.

Rating: C-. Was there really a need to not even give them four minutes? This was entertaining while it lasted but it felt like the first third of a fun match that never got the chance to get going. The X-Division could use some fresh blood and there are some viable challengers in here, with the Rascalz being great candidates along with Austin.

Next week: Impact/Elgin vs. Mack/Swann, Eddie Edwards vs. Killer Kross in a street fight and Gilbertti vs. Blanchard.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Rob Van Dam

They soak in the dueling chants and the ECDUB chants are back in full force. Feeling out process to start with Dreamer getting in a suplex of all things before stopping for a high five. Dreamer seems rather pleased and it’s even better as he trips Van Dam down for a headscissors. Rob flips up and we get another I RESPECT YOU TOO BUDDY staredown. Back up and Dreamer starts punching away until a kick to the face cuts him off. They head outside (you knew this was coming) with Dreamer throwing water in his eyes and then…going back inside because we’re not going full extreme here.

Rob grabs the chair instead and skateboards it into Dreamer’s face in the corner. Dreamer is right back by putting Rob in the Tree of Woe for the running dropkick (after the ECW chant of course). Rolling Thunder misses and Dreamer hits the DDT on the chair for two more. The fans want the table but settle for Rob’s spinning legdrop on the chair. Dreamer is right back up with the piledriver and a flipping sell from Rob. An elbow hits the chair and Rob is right back with a drop toehold into the chair ala Raven. The Five Star finishes Dreamer at 9:23.

Rating: D. It wasn’t terrible and they didn’t embarrass themselves, but is there a reason that these two are getting almost ten minutes and the X-Division guys, who are going to be here in a few years and could be stars of the future, are stuck cramming in everything they can into less than four minutes? Are Van Dam and Dreamer really the best this company can do for a draw to a TV taping? The guys were trying, but it just makes you realize that their heyday was twenty years ago. That’s the best you have?

Post match the North runs in to beat down Van Dam and Dreamer with Moose coming in to make it even worse. The lights go out and freaking Sabu is here with the chairs for the save. A Van Daminator lets the ECW guys pose to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. There are two big issues sticking out in this show and it hurts everything else. The booking goes from fine to “we’re really doing this?” far too often and that’s going to become an issue. It’s still a watchable show, but they seem to force these things in for the sake of some short term booking which could be used on much more valuable stuff. I don’t need to see Gilbertti, Van Dam and Dreamer (though he’s on every show anymore) in 2019, though Impact seems to think they’re the best options. What does that say about how they view their own talent?

Results

Sami Callihan b. Fallah Bahh – Hanging Cactus Special with feet on the ropes

Taya Valkyrie b. Madison Rayne – Road to Valhalla

LAX b. The North – Double belly to back faceplant to Alexander

Glenn Gilbertti vs. Ashley Vox went to a no contest when Tessa Blanchard interfered

Dez b. Rohit Raju, Petey Williams and Ace Austin – Backflip kick to Raju’s head

Rob Van Dam b. Tommy Dreamer – Five Star Frog Splash

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: May 10, 2019
Location: Rebel Sports Entertainment Complex, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Don Callis, Josh Matthews

We’re still in Canada and we still don’t have a World Champion around at the moment due to Brian Cage’s back injury. What we do have though is a new #1 contender in the form of Michael Elgin, who seems rather content with waiting around until Cage gets back. I’m not sure what that means for this week so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap, with the World Title situation getting some extra time, as it should.

Opening sequence.

Josh: “We sit just fifty eight days away from Slammiversary!” You might want to wait a bit on that countdown.

Moose/Josh Alexander vs. LAX

Non-title and no Konnan with LAX. Alexander and Santana start things off with an exchange of wristlocks until Ortiz comes in for the running splash. It’s off to Moose, who puts Ortiz on top and dropkicks him to the floor. That leaves Callus enough time to list off Moose’s athletic stats and then say they’re off the charts. Hence why they have been charted you see. Back to Alexander for some forearms in the corner and the required chinlock.

Ortiz fights up and suplexes Alexander into a Stunner for the tag off to Santana. Moose gets sent outside and it’s a double flapjack into a facebuster combination to drop Alexander again. It’s already back to Moose for the power, including a powerbomb to Ortiz onto Santana. The chokebomb gets two on Santana but Moose hits Alexander by mistake, allowing LAX to hit a double enziguri. With Moose down on the ground, LAX hits their usual flurry into the double faceplant to finish Alexander at 7:38.

Rating: C. LAX can do no wrong at this point and that was the case again here, with another entertaining performance against a team that didn’t have the best chemistry. If nothing else though, hearing “their opponents, Moose and Josh Alexander” sounds a lot better than The North. That’s such a bad name for a team and while their work is good, it sounds like the most indy of names.

Madison Rayne is ready for her third non-title match against Taya Valkyrie, even if Taya doesn’t have to defend the title for thirty days. I get the story they’re going for here, but Madison is another shining example of what is wrong with a lot of the roster: she’s perfectly adequate. She’s going to give you a fine match, a fine promo and a fine everything, but there’s no reaching for the next level. Madison, along with so many others on the roster, are a safe bet and that’s a big reason why Impact never goes any higher than they already are.

Tommy Dreamer gives his partners a big pep talk about how they’re all a bunch of misfits. He knows about that, because he used to work for ECW. I actually yelled at my screen OH MY GOODNESS SHUT UP ABOUT ECW. Dreamer promises that the team will fight tonight, because this is the kind of company he wants to fight for.

Announcers’ preview.

Madison Rayne vs. Taya Valkyrie

Non-title again and Tessa Blanchard comes out for commentary, definitely acting a lot more faceish. Taya heads straight outside for the stalling so Madison chases her back inside, where the champ gets in a dropkick to the head. That means the always annoying break less than a minute in and we come back with Madison hitting a running shoulder in the corner.

Taya throws her down again and we have an inset window showing Tessa on commentary. I don’t really need to watch commentary talking, but EGADS is that better than cutting to Gail every ten seconds. Taya cuts off a springboard with a faceplant and it’s a Jeff Hardy legdrop between the legs. A little dance sets up Taya bending Madison’s ribs around the post as the announcers talk almost non-stop about Gail vs. Tessa.

Back in and Madison gets in a tornado DDT, followed by a few forearms for two. A windup cutter gives Madison two as Tessa forgets that this is non-title. Taya stops for more trash talk and slow kicks to the back/chest. A big kick is countered into a half crab and Taya taps immediately at 12:08.

Rating: C-. The story is fine and they can do a title match before Slammiversary, but I’m still not buying Madison as a top challenger. She hasn’t missed a step since her previous run, but that doesn’t make her all that inspiring. Taya tapping so fast makes sense and it’s very nice that they’re doing a story with the champion losing over and over again rather than just doing it and rarely going anywhere other than “here’s a title shot to make it 50/50”.

This week’s Flashback Moment of the Week: Rob Van Dam beats Abyss at Bound For Glory.

Van Dam thinks he’s facing Diamond Dallas Page tonight instead of Ethan Page. He’s not worried about Rob Van Dam.

Rosemary wants a Demon Collar match against Su Yung, winner take all. That would be all the souls/people I presume?

Jordynne Grace vs. Alexia Nicole

Grace shrugs off the kicks to the leg and hits a one armed delayed vertical suplex. Nicole’s sleeper doesn’t work at all and it’s a giant swing to make it even worse. A clothesline goes even worse for Nicole and Grave hits a torture rack into a spinning powerbomb. The Grace Driver is good for the pin at 3:03.

Rating: D. Grace continues to look dominant and at some point they’ll make her the monster champion that she should be. Sometimes you need a nice squash like this as it’s one of the best ways to keep someone over. She doesn’t have anything going on right now but keeping her dominant on TV like this works just fine.

Josh Alexander gives Ethan Page a pep talk for his match with Van Dam tonight.

Kiera Hogan walked away from Rosemary last week because that’s what Rosemary wanted. She has tried to be friends with everyone around here and it hasn’t worked. Grace comes in to say they are friends but Kiera doesn’t care about her. Grace can die like Allie did.

Ethan Page vs. Rob Van Dam

Alexander is here with Page and the announcers talk about Van Dam’s marijuana enthusiasm as both villains yell at Rob. They’re knocked to the floor as the discussion moves over to ECW and all the great moments Rob had there. An Alexander distraction breaks up the spinning kick to Page’s back and it’s Page taking over in the corner.

A backbreaker and suplex have Van Dam in trouble but he’s back with kicks to the face. Rolling Thunder looks to set up the Five Star but Alexander’s distraction lets Page get up. There’s a bicycle kick to Rob, who is right back with a spinwheel kick. The Five Star (with very little elevation) finishes Page at 6:10.

Rating: D+. It wasn’t terrible or even bad, but it was a 48 year old Van Dam playing the hits while the announcers tried to treat it as anything other than nostalgia/a way to draw a crowd for Philadelphia next week. There’s nothing wrong with Van Dam not being able to do it as well as he used to, but treating him like he’s still the same athlete is hard to take. Bringing Rob back in makes sense as he has star power, but I’m worried about how hard they’re going to push him at this point.

Brian Cage is still injured and starting rehab on his back soon.

Johnny Impact comes up to Michael Elgin and they argue over who injured Cage. Elgin will send him to the hospital to prove he’s right.

Deaners vs. Desi Hit Squad vs. Brent Banks/Aiden Prince vs. Rascalz

Banks flips a lot and dropkicks Raju into the corner so it’s off to Singh as we’re already in the rapid fire offense as no one is going to have time to really showcase themselves. The Squad takes over on Prince with a boot to the face giving Raju two. Prince gets in a kick of his own and the fans want the Deaners, showing that Canadian fans don’t have the best taste. The Deaners come in a few seconds later as everything breaks down with the Rascalz taking over. Wentz hits a big dive onto a bunch of people and Dezmond hits a cartwheel corkscrew dive but Raju uses the distraction to roll Cousin Jake up for the pin at 5:05.

Rating: D+. What am I supposed to say here? The Desi Hit Squad wins (because the Rascalz aren’t allowed to build any momentum) in a match with eight people trying to get stuff in over the course of about five minutes. It’s too much in one match and the Squad winning took away a lot of the energy that the match could have build up.

Killer Kross talks about stealing Kenny the Kendo Stick last week, which he did to prove a point. Now he wants to hear from Eddie Edwards. Tick tock.

LAX is in the Rascalz clubhouse and they talk about lions protecting the stash. Ortiz wants to fight the Rockers, the Eliminators, Bert and Ernie and Tango and Cash. Shots are consumed.

The announcers talk about going to the 2300 Arena next week and say EXTREME about half a dozen times.

Tommy Dreamer/Fallah Bahh/Rich Swann/Willie Mack vs. OVE

OVE Rules, meaning anything goes and Scarlett Bordeaux is here with the non-Ohioans. Joined in progress after a break with Bahh splashing Dave Crist in the corner. It’s time for some chairs with Dave being slammed onto the steel, leaving everyone to head outside. Mack comes back in and slams Sami, setting up a standing moonsault onto Dave. The big flip dive lets Mack knock everyone down, followed by Dave moonsaulting off the top onto everyone else. Jake dives, then Tommy dives as we get in the required exchange of dives out of the way. Dreamer heads to the back to get something as we take a break.

Back with the weapons abounding, including a big ladder that Dreamer pulled out. Dreamer wraps the ladder around his head and does the spinning knockdowns until Fulton gets in a shot to take over. Fulton sets the ladder up on the ramp as Sami and Dave beat on Fallah with a chair. That leaves Mack to pile a bunch of stuff up in the ring, only to take a cutter from Jake for two.

Bahh’s belly to belly onto a trashcan gets two but he’s fine enough to set up some chairs. A superplex to Dave is broken up with Fulton powerbombing Bahh through some chairs. The chair wrapped in barbed wire is sat on Bahh’s chest for a top rope double stomp into a near fall. Swann comes back in (Was he in at all?) and goes to the ladder but Fulton makes the save, allowing Dave to hit a super cutter off the ladder.

Fulton dives off the ladder into a Samoan drop to give Bahh two. Dreamer busts out the Legos and DDTs Sami and Dave onto them for no cover. That leaves the barefooted Bahh to walk onto the Legos but Fulton plants him with a chokeslam. Mack Stuns Fulton onto a chair but Sami blasts Mack with a stop sign. The Cactus Special onto the Legos gives Sami the pin at 16:29.

Rating: C+. It’s a garbage brawl that I’ve seen done a million times but they were putting in some effort and got the time to make it feel more violent. I’m not sure why you would have Mack take the fall when you have Dreamer in there, but they do seem to be teasing a Mack vs. Swann feud. This wasn’t bad, and thank goodness they didn’t put it in the ECW Arena instead.

Overall Rating: D+. I really wasn’t feeling this one as it seems that they’re building up to both Slammiversary but more importantly the 2300 Arena shows. It’s not the worst thing in the world, but I’m worried about how big of an ECW tribute we’ll have to sit through for the next few weeks. This wasn’t terrible, though they’ve lost some momentum from Rebellion.

Results

LAX b. Moose/Josh Alexander – Double faceplant to Alexander

Madison Rayne b. Taya Valkyrie – Half crab

Jordynne Grace b. Alexia Nicole – Grace Driver

Rob Van Dam b. Ethan Page – Five Star Frog Splash

Desi Hit Squad b. Rascalz, Brent Banks/Aiden Prince and Deaners – Rollup to Jake

OVE b. Tommy Dreamer/Fallah Bahh/Rich Swann/Willie Mack – Cactus Special to Mack

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: December 9, 2004
Location: Bi-LO Center, Greenville, South Carolina
Attendance: 2,300
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Armageddon and thank goodness for that. The last few weeks of shows have been nothing short of dreadful and I can’t wait to get this pay per view out of the way so we can move on to the Royal Rumble build. Tonight is likely going to feature a lot of Tough Enough and the other two stories that matter around here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look at JBL and the Cabinet beating down Undertaker last week.

The Cabinet is in the ring to open the show. JBL demands respect and talks about all the other former WWE Champions that aren’t as great as he is now. His three challengers on Sunday couldn’t beat him one on one and now they get a chance at the same time. It is a sick, sick joke and all Theodore Long’s fault. The lights go out and it’s Undertaker appearing to beat up the Cabinet, who run away in a hurry.

We recap Torrie Wilson vs. Hiroko, which is all because Kenzo Suzuki wants Torrie.

Battle Royal

Funaki, Chavo Guerrero, Billy Kidman, Nunzio, Paul London, Shannon Moore, Akio

The winner gets a Cruiserweight Title shot on Sunday. It’s the standard brawl to start with teased eliminations that don’t get very far. Nunzio takes a rather stupid trip to the top and gets kicked in the head for the first elimination. London hits a top rope double stomp to Akio’s back but gets dumped by Kidman. Funaki crotches Akio on top and Shannon dropkicks him out to get us down to four.

Kidman’s pop up powerbomb to Chavo is countered by a hurricanrana and Shannon grabs a swinging neckbreaker on Funaki. The announcers aren’t sure who to pick here as Funaki backdrops Shannon out. A Gory Bomb doesn’t get rid of Kidman so Funaki eliminates Kidman and Chavo at the same time for the win.

Rating: D. Pretty run of the mill battle royal with far too few people to make sense for a match like this and a rather uninspiring winner. The Cruiserweight division is back to its old standard of a champion and a random challenger with nothing in between. There’s nothing to see here and the division needs a change in a hurry.

Jackie Gayda begs Charlie Haas not to fight tonight as his eyes are bloody and his ribs are banged up. He’s going to do it anyway so here’s Josh to ask annoying questions about him being guest referee on Sunday. Of course he’s going to be partial. Well I certainly appreciate the honesty.

Mizanin wants Justice Smith and Daniel Puder to step into his reality on Sunday. He needs a lot of practice but you can see the talent there.

Jesus vs. Charlie Haas

Anything goes and falls count anywhere but we can’t say hardcore anymore. Carlito gets ejected before the match so he spits apple at Charles Robinson. Charlie starts fast and gets in a chair shot but Carlito brings out Dawn Marie, allowing Jesus to get in a chain shot to the head for the knockout in about 45 seconds.

Post match, Jackie and Dawn run in to check on Charlie and glare at each other.

Justice Smith doesn’t care who he knocks out on Sunday.

Luther Reigns sneaks up on Joy Giovanni and asks her to tell her boyfriend the Big Show that Reigns is looking for him. Bad acting ensues.

JBL and the Cabinet are leaving before tonight’s handicap match. Long says the Cabinet is a joke and says JBL is wrestling on his own on Sunday and if anyone comes out to help him, he is stripped of the title. Just cue up his victory music already. The Bashams come in to say there has been a security breach, meaning someone has stolen the tires from the limo and put it up on blocks. We cut to the arena where Eddie rolls out a tire. Eddie says he knows a guy who can get JBL a good deal on some tires but to save the tears for Sunday.

Daniel Puder rambles about how great a fighter he is. Mizanin really did outclass the other two by a long way.

Torrie Wilson is at a photo shoot when Michelle McCool delivers some flowers to her. They’re from Kenzo Suzuki and Torrie isn’t happy. Hiroko comes up and doesn’t like Torrie calling him a jerk so the catfight is on with Torrie being stripped to her underwear. The chase is on and Torrie strips her as well so they can run into the arena. Kenzo and Rene Dupree come in for the save so here are Rob Van Dam and Rey Mysterio for the real save. Cue Long to say let’s have Sunday’s title match right now.

Tag Team Titles: Rob Van Dam/Rey Mysterio vs. Kenzo Suzuki/Rene Dupree

Kenzo and Dupree are defending and we’re joined in progress with Rey getting chopped down. For some reason that means the hip swivel from Suzuki so Rey kicks him in the face and hands it off to Rob for the slingshot legdrop. Rene comes in and gets kicked down as well to give Rob two more. The illegal Rey adds a springboard seated senton to let Rob get another two off a sunset flip.

A Bronco Buster in the corner keeps Rene in trouble and it’s a split legged moonsault from Rob, with Kenzo hitting his partner in a botched save. 420 (with Cole quickly explaining the name as a combination of legs and shoe sizes) looks to set up the Five Star but Kenzo crotches Rob for the save. The chinlock slows things down a bit and Rene drops Rob on the back of his head for two.

Cole says that suddenly the champs are in control, despite them being on offense for the last minute plus since Cole said they took control in the first place. Kenzo comes in to add his own chinlock and it’s back to Rene for the French Tickler, with Tazz adding a lot through the singing. The dancing takes a bit too long though (well duh) and Rob scores with a kick to the face (like it would be anything else) to get a breather.

Rob finally kicks Kenzo down though and now the hot tag brings in Rey. A top rope seated senton and the spinning DDT get two on Kenzo, setting up another springboard seated senton (Rob is less subtle with his kicks to the face). Rolling Thunder from Rob gives Rey two with Rene making the save. There’s the 619 but Rene busts Rey’s spine before the cover. Hiroko puts Kenzo on top for two with the raised shoulder drawing a scream. Back up and Rey grabs a rollup with Rob pulling on his arm for the pin and the titles. Thankfully Cole points out how Kenzo and Rene cheated to keep the titles at No Mercy.

Rating: D+. It was rather dull when the champs were on offense and it that is a surprise, then you haven’t been paying attention lately. Rob and Rey’s offense wasn’t much better as they were doing the same stuff over and over again. That being said, I’ll take the title change over anything else as Kenzo and Rene have sucked the life out of the titles every time they’re in the ring.

Video on the house show tour.

Video on HHH beating up Ryan Reynolds in Blade: Trinity.

Armageddon rundown. My already low interest falls even further.

It’s Tough Enough time and Justice Smith is eliminated. That leaves Puder and Mizanin to face off in a boxing match on Sunday. That’s not enough though as we have to have the American Gladiators style joust first. It’s 2/3 falls and Puder wins 2-0 with ease. This was FAR shorter than usual as they weren’t even out there for five minutes total and it helped a lot.

Raw Rebound.

Booker T. stretches with Michelle McCool and reveals that he stole JBL’s hat. Now though, it has a hole in the top for his hair.

Here’s Kurt Angle for the Kurt Angle Invitational, though he looks to be limping a bit. This week’s hometown hero: the Big Show. Well at least it isn’t Moolah. Angle grabs a mic though and says this isn’t happening because Show isn’t getting it down to 2-1 on Sunday. Instead, Show can face….Mark Jindrak, as introduced by Luther Reigns, who doesn’t seem interested in the spot.

Big Show vs. Mark Jindrak

Show tosses Jindrak, in street clothes, into the corner for the early stomping and a headbutt to make it even worse. The overhand chops and step on the chest continue Big Show’s Greatest Hits. Jindrak’s dropkick earns him a big boot but Angle’s distraction lets Jindrak chop block Show. It doesn’t seem to matter that much though, as Show grabs the chokeslam, earning himself a chair shot from Angle for the DQ.

Post match Angle hits Show in the back with the steps for a good shot.

Heidenreich lays in a small room and watches a clock. The ticking gets very loud until Paul Heyman comes in with medication. He takes it, and thanks Heyman for visiting him again. Heyman even has a surprise: Heidenreich’s therapy is complete and he can come back to Smackdown. Heidenreich is happy there though and won’t leave. He does thank Heyman for visiting him though, so at least he’s polite.

Booker T./Eddie Guerrero/Undertaker vs. The Cabinet

Amy Weber is here with the Cabinet though there’s no limo. Eddie has the low rider though, complete with JBL’s tires on the back. It’s a brawl to start with JBL hanging back instead of getting involved. The Cabinet is sent outside without much effort and we take an early break. Back with the smoke still in the ring from Undertaker’s entrance and Booker kicking Danny in the face.

Eddie comes in and stomps in the corner, followed by a poke to the eye to slow Danny down. It’s back to Booker as they’re saving Undertaker for the big tag at the end. Danny finally clotheslines Eddie, allowing the first tag off to JBL. A glare from the Undertaker is enough to hand it off to Danny, but Undertaker chases JBL into the crowd. We settle back down to Eddie in trouble with Doug dropping a leg and grabbing a seated full nelson. Eddie fights up so JBL gets in a cheap shot from the apron to cut him off again.

JBL comes in and puts on a sleeper until it’s a suplex to freedom. The fall away slam is countered into a DDT and NOW it’s Undertaker time, with Orlando Jordan getting to be the first victim. The legdrop hits the side of the head for a change of pace and everything breaks down. Eddie ducks a belt shot from JBL and the champ is surrounded. Jordan makes the save and gets chokeslammed, leaving Eddie and Booker to beat up the Bashams. Eddie hits a frog splash and it’s the Tombstone to give Undertaker the pin.

Rating: C-. Not too bad here with Undertaker being the big ending, but my goodness they’re not even trying to hide how much they’re telegraphing JBL retaining on Sunday. The more they stack up the odds, the more obvious it is that he’s keeping the title again and that’s going to be really annoying when Sunday is over.

JBL is terrified to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. It wasn’t a good show, but this was miles better than what they’ve been doing recently. Maybe it was Tough Enough being so short or maybe it was giving something other than the World Title match some focus, but this wasn’t as bad as the rest of the shows from the last few weeks. The problem is that it still wasn’t very good as they’re firmly in the holiday break season.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: May 3, 2019
Location: Rebel Sports Entertainment Complex, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Don Callis, Josh Matthews

We’re past the rather good Rebellion show and the big story is Brian Cage winning the World Title but injuring his back so badly that he won’t be on TV for the time being. With the champ gone, odds are we’re going to be focusing on the #1 contendership, which could go in a variety of ways. Ok so it’s pretty clear who it’s going to be but there are options. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of Rebellion, which was one of their best shows in a long time.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Michael Elgin (who debuted after the World Title match and laid out Cage) for a chat. Elgin talks about the time honored tradition of a new World Champion coming out to celebrate his title win with the new champ. So where is Cage now? That would be in the hospital, but Elgin has more important things to worry about. On Sunday, the Canadian fans cheered for Cage instead of sticking up for their Canadian heroes, like him. He left Japan to come here and be World Champion so he should get a title shot.

This brings out Johnny Impact (all in white for a cool look) to say he’s seen the muscle man with no brain, but this one doesn’t have hair. Elgin says Johnny’s testicles are in his wife’s purse, which Impact points out is Versace and expensive, unlike Elgin’s Highspots gear. Impact takes the credit for sending Elgin to the hospital but Elgin says it was the Elgin Bomb that left Cage laying. We hear about the rematch clause….and here’s Konnan to interrupt.

After making a gay joke, he talks about the main event on Sunday and how the Lucha Bros are familia. Pentagon should be getting the next title shot but Impact says he’s played games of Mario Kart that lasted longer than Pentagon’s title reign. Konnan: “Kind of like your movie career.” Elgin grabs Konnan so here’s Pentagon for the save and the brawl is on. With the champ gone, this is as good as anything else and they were smart to start the show hot to distract from the lack of Cage.

Tonight: Pentagon vs. Elgin vs. Impact for the #1 contendership.

We look at Cage getting injured on Sunday.

Preview for the rest of the night.

Ace Austin vs. Petey Williams

The fans sing O Canada for Williams as Impact continues to book for the live crowd instead of the larger audience. Petey headscissors him out to the floor to start but Ace hits a forearm to send Petey outside. That means a suicide dive and Austin’s rather impressive flips on the apron to frustrate Petey again. Back in and Ace gets caught in the Tree of Woe so Petey stands on his crotch for O Canada, earning himself a German superplex.

Ace pulls out a card to slice open Petey’s finger but Petey is right back with his swinging Russian legsweep. A kick to the head gives Austin two and the swinging double underhook slam is good for the same. Petey is right back with the Sharpshooter to send Austin bailing to the ropes so it’s a springboard spinning Fameasser to drop Petey again. The Fold misses so Petey hits his lifting Downward Spiral, only to get enziguried on top. Now the Fold can connect to give Austin for the pin at 7:19.

Rating: C. This was fine for a quick match with the right guy winning, which is about all you cak ask for with Petey. He shouldn’t be winning anything significant and the fans like him enough so this isn’t that bad. At least Austin won though, which is a good sign as I could see him being a success very soon.

Rosemary still has the Undead Maid of Honor on the chain and takes her to find a firefly.

OVE wants an eight man tag against Rich Swann next week, with any three people Swann can find. Anything goes.

Rosemary vs. Kiera Hogan

Rosemary has the Maid of Honor on the chain and ties her to the post in a smart move. Kiera starts fast and sends Rosemary into the corner for a running kick to the face. A side slam gets Rosemary out of trouble but a fireman’s carry doesn’t work. Some low superkicks give Kiera two but Rosemary is right back with a release German suplex. The Upside Down makes it even worse for Kiera so she sends Rosemary out onto the ramp. With Rosemary in trouble, cue Su Yung and the Undead Bridesmaids to jump Rosemary for the DQ at 4:27.

Rating: D+. Not much to this one, but Kiera is starting to get better and better in the ring every week. She has a charisma to her which makes her look like a stronger force and that’s a good sign for her future. Rosemary’s story is still going, though I’m not sure they know how to get to wherever they’re going.

Post match Su frees the Maid of Honor and everyone destroys Rosemary. Kiera thinks about making the save but leaves.

Taya Valkyrie brags about how awesome she is when Madison Rayne comes in to say she’s 2-0 against Taya and should get a title shot. Taya blows her off and tells Melissa Santos to come with her.

Flashback Moment of the Week: Samoa Joe and Kurt Angle get in a brawl.

Taya says she doesn’t have to defend her title for thirty days so next week, Madison’s match is non-title.

Konnan and LAX celebrate their title win and count money. They’re not worried about the North and then they get to go to the Rascalz’ clubhouse. For now though, training time.

Eddie Edwards vs. Fenix

Hang on though as Eddie doesn’t want to put Kenny down. We get a rather over the top handshake before they lock up, with Fenix taking him to the mat without much trouble. It’s back up to another standoff until Fenix sends him to the floor, meaning Eddie needs to bring Kenny in. With that taken away, Fenix hits a Pele kick and rolls forward, only to have to back away from another stick threat.

They go outside with Eddie hitting a chop against the barricade as Killer Kross is watching from the stage. Back in and now the rolling forearm connects for Fenix, setting up a crucifix bomb for two. Eddie gets two of his own off a powerbomb but stops to stare at Kross. Fenix uses the distraction to hit the rolling cutter but Eddie is right back with a tiger driver for two more. Kross offers Kenny to Eddie, but won’t let him take it. That means a superkick and the Black Fire Driver to give Fenix the pin at 8:03.

Rating: B-. Fun match (well duh) with some angle advancement as Fenix was his usual great self. What catches my attention here though is Eddie, who has gone from clean cut wrestler to this in the span of just a few months. I want to see what happens with him and how far he can take this, which seems to be a very long way given how talented he really is.

Tommy Dreamer offers his services to Rich Swann for next week. Scarlett Bordeaux, with smoke, comes in to offer Fallah Bahh as well.

Here’s an old looking Rob Van Dam to greet the “Impact Universe”. He knows the talent is great here so he isn’t going to list off all the classic matches he could have here so it’s time to show the difference between who you met on TV and the Whole F’N Show. This brings out Ethan Page with a couple of chairs, which he says must excite Van Dam. Tonight he’s going to show Van Dam a fresh way to use these chairs, by sitting down in one of them and offering Rob the other one.

Page doesn’t like the idea of Van Dam being a hero and the inspiration for everyone’s offense. Page: “Clearly you’ve never watched an Ethan Page match.” Van Dam: “Nope.” Rob gets the bucket list thing of being in the ring with him and is ready to fight right now. Page tells him to take some medicine and calm down so they can do this next week. The Van Daminator leaves Page laying.

Post break Josh Alexander yells at Page for not thinking about the North. Moose comes in and tells them to win the Tag Team Titles.

Video on Gail Kim vs. Tessa Blanchard with Gail talking about being glad to give Tessa that moment. The loss makes things feel complete.

Tully Blanchard congratulated Tessa on her win and talks about how proud he is of her. He knows Tessa and Gail respect each other, just like he respected the people who beat him up back in the day.

Preview for next week’s show.

Michael Elgin vs. Johnny Impact vs. Pentagon

For the #1 contendership. Pentagon goes straight for the rollup on Elgin and it’s already a standoff. Elgin gets sent to the floor and pulls Impact with him, allowing Pentagon to dropkick both of them through the ropes. Impact tries a springboard but gets pulled down into an apron bomb, leaving Pentagon to take a German suplex inside. Pentagon kicks him off the top though and goes up top, only to have to chop Elgin in the chest.

That has no effect so it’s Impact springboarding back in for the German superplex as Elgin superplexes Impact. Elgin plants Pentagon again and suplexes Impact onto him and it’s time to start wrecking things. Impact survives enough to kick Elgin off the top as well, setting up a spinning Razor’s Edge slam. Countdown to Impact misses (it’s going to hit one day and it’s going to be amazing) and Elgin hits three straight kicks to the face.

Now it’s Pentagon coming back in with a Pentagon Driver to Elgin and a powerbomb backbreaker for two on Impact. Elgin gets knocked to the floor and Impact….I’m not sure what he does actually but I think he kicked Pentagon by mistake instead of coming down onto Elgin. Some chair shots have Pentagon down but Elgin is fine enough to blast Impact with a clothesline. The Elgin Bomb is good for the pin and the title shot at 10:48.

Rating: C+. This was all about having Elgin win and that’s what matters most, especially with him pinning Impact. Pentagon can come back later on and get somewhere on his own, which is what probably should happen going forward. If nothing else, Impact can get back into the title scene just by being the former champion, though I hope we don’t get a triple threat title match out of this. They did things right here and Cage vs. Elgin could be great.

Overall Rating: B-. Pretty strong show for the most part here with solid wrestling and storytelling, with some things moving forward between now and Slammiversary. If that’s the case in the future, Impact is doing a lot better than I expected. This was a rather nice show and I liked just about everything I saw, which is a pretty rare accomplishment in just about any wrestling company.

Results

Ace Austin b. Petey Williams – The Fold

Rosemary b. Kiera Hogan via DQ when Su Yung and the Undead Bridesmaids interfered

Fenix b. Eddie Edwards – Black Fire Driver

Michael Elgin b. Johnny Impact and Pentagon – Elgin Bomb to Impact

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: December 2, 2004
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re finally into December and things have been a near nightmare around here as of late. With a combination of the Tough Enough stuff taking over the show and very limited wrestling, I’m not sure what is supposed to make me want to keep watching the thing. That has never stopped WWE before though so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

JBL and the Cabinet (complete with the Bashams being named the Co-Secretaries of Defense) arrive late with Theodore Long not being happy. Tonight the Bashams can face Booker T. and Eddie Guerrero while JBL and Orlando Jordan can face the Undertaker. Two matches made in less than two minutes. Not too shabby.

Opening sequence.

Rey Mysterio/Rob Van Dam/Torrie Wilson vs. Kenzo Suzuki/Rene Dupree/Hiroko

Fallout from last week’s brawl which started over Kenzo oogling Torrie. Hiroko shoves Torrie before the bell and strikes the Crane Kick pose because we need more stereotypes in this one. Rob and Rene start things off but hang on as Dupree needs to bow to Suzuki first. We get what looks like one of the same sequences Van Dam used to do with Jerry Lynn until Rene is sent to the floor.

That leaves the women to come in and roll over Kenzo, who likes it so much that he swivels his hips. Rey loads up a 619 on Hiroko but walks into a spinebuster, followed by the French Tickler. Rey is back up and plants Rene, setting up a Five Star from Van Dam so Rey can grab a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D-. I have no idea what the point of this was other than stretching us out for another week before we get to what should be a layup of a title change at the pay per view. The match was barely a thing and focused way too much on the stupid Kenzo angle. He hasn’t been interesting since he debuted and that isn’t going to change with having a thing for Torrie.

After that waste of time, here are the Tough Enough guys for their weekly shindig. Ryan Reeves isn’t quitting due to his broken ribs so let’s look at who each person wants voted off.

Mizanin wants Puder gone because he’s a suckup and hasn’t actually fought in the UFC.

Reeves wants Puder gone for not wanting to be a wrestler and only being here to get himself over in MMA.

Smith wants Puder gone for being too overconfident.

Puder wants Smith off because he’s been on other shows before and doesn’t want to be a wrestler.

Ryan Reeves is voted off. That leaves us with three, and next week another will be voted off. The remaining two will box at Armageddon, but there’s another competition tonight. This week: they get to dress like women.

Hiroko doesn’t like Kenzo wanting Torrie and since her milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, she wants Torrie in a bra and panties match next week.

Charlie Haas vs. Jesus

Before the bell, Carlito gets in the ring and says he doesn’t like Charlie hogging up the women like Jackie and Dawn Marie. Carlito hits on Jackie and puts his hand on her shoulder so Charlie grabs him, meaning it’s a beatdown from Jesus. Haas gets posted and chained in the chest. No match.

Post match Long yells at Carlito and Jesus, the latter of whom gets to have a street fight against John Cena at Armageddon.

Raw Rebound.

Michelle McCool stretches with Eddie Guerrero and Booker T. She feels some negative energy though and the tensions seem ready to boil over. They argue over losing title shots but Michelle calms them down before their tag match later. At least she has a few perks.

Basham Brothers vs. Eddie Guerrero/Booker T.

JBL is out for commentary with Jordan at his side. After a quick argument over who gets to start, Booker knocks Doug into the corner and stomps him down. A running clothesline puts Doug on the floor and we take a break. Back with Eddie leg lariating Danny into the corner for some stomping of his own.

Some double teaming lets the Bashams take over so Eddie snaps off a hurricanrana to get himself out of trouble. Eddie feeds Doug into a side kick from Booker for two but the referee yells at Eddie, allowing the Bashams to take over again. We cut over to JBL ranting about how awesome of an athlete he is as the Bashams take turns on Booker.

The flapjack plants Doug and Eddie comes in as JBL threatens lawsuits over commentary criticizing him. Everything breaks down and Eddie low bridges Doug but sends Booker to the floor at the same time by mistake. The argument is on and Danny knocks Eddie into Booker from behind. We’ll get to the explosion later, but for now it’s a rollup with ropes to give Danny the pin.

Rating: C. The Bashams have had one match as part of the Cabinet and they’re already about 18485% better than Jordan. They look better, they’re actually effective in the ring and they didn’t need three chinlocks to get them through a nine minute match. This was all it needed to be and Eddie vs. Booker could be good once we’re done with the pay per view.

Post match JBL Clotheslines Eddie and Booker.

Kurt Angle Invitational: Kurt Angle vs. Sebastian McCauley

Angle Slam and ankle lock in less than a minute.

Post match Angle has Mark Jindrak and Luther Reigns join him in the ring because he wants to make something right. Now he wants Joy Giovanni in the ring because she was embarrassed last week. Reigns apologizes for last week with the Thanksgiving meal because he got carried away. As an apology, he offers her dinner tonight, his treat of course.

Joy accepts the apology but says she already has dinner plans with Big Show. Angle thinks that’s insulting to the three of them so Reigns gets more aggressive in asking about that dinner. Cue Big Show for the save and a challenge to fight all three of them at once but the bad guys bail.

We look back at last week’s Christmas in Iraq.

And now, the Tough Enough contestants in drag. Mizanin is in a Metallica shirt, Daisy Duke shorts and has a six pack of Miller Lite. As a bonus, he even does the slow lean into the ring ala Stacy Keibler. The other two are just guys in drag with little effort. Cue Hardcore Holly (Cole: “If anyone was homophobic, it would be Hardcore Holly.”) to say these are some ugly women.

They each have thirty seconds to prove that Holly is the object of their affections, which is too far for Holly. Snow: “Are you saying you’re not tough enough?”

Holly actually stays and Michelle Mizanin (just go with it) asks if he likes whips and chains. He leans over and asks if Hardcore can smack that and thankfully the time is up.

Justina Smith talks about speaking with Hardcore’s mama, who says he likes lobsters. For a present, he pulls out a bottle of “crunk juice”….and a live lobster. Snow: “GIVE ME THE MIC!”

Daniella Puder has a Puder Bear and admires the way Holly fills out his trunks.

Mizanin wins, ending one of the most embarrassing things I’ve ever seen as a wrestling fan. Thankfully Holly punches Snow out for putting him through all this.

Armageddon rundown.

Here’s Dawn Marie to say that her sexy Santa outfit is better than Jackie’s earlier tonight. Jackie runs out and the brawl is on. Long comes out and makes a match between the two of them at Armageddon with Haas as guest referee.

Undertaker vs. John Bradshaw Layfield/Orlando Jordan

The Bashams are banned from ringside but Amy Weber is given a chair. Jordan starts for the team as JBL chills on the floor, looking rather terrified. The threat of a right hand sends JBL bailing off the apron but Jordan’s kick to the face just annoys Undertaker again. A trip to the floor lets Undertaker beat up Jordan some more, followed by a Downward Spiral for two back inside.

JBL makes the save and gets Snake Eyes into a big boot and the bad guys are sent outside in a heap to end us to a break. Back with Undertaker hitting a side slam for two on Jordan with JBL making another save. The apron legdrop crushes JBL and the jumping clothesline drops Jordan. The Last Ride is broken up with a big boot so JBL is willing to come in, allowing Undertaker to grab a legbar. Jordan stomps away, making Cole think he could be champion one day. Thankfully a DDT cuts off that nonsense and it’s time for the double chokeslam, drawing a low blow from JBL for the DQ.

Rating: D. That’s only because it wasn’t as bad as the first match. This feud has been a disaster and this match didn’t do it any favors with a long, boring beatdown from Undertaker until HAHA LOW BLOW for the finish. You really can’t have Jordan take a chokeslam for the pin? His whole job is to take a beating and that can’t be the finish?

Post match Undertaker comes back and beats them up some more until the Bashams come in. The big beatdown leaves Undertaker laying to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. The Basham Brothers were the best thing about this show. The build to Armageddon is almost entirely based on the four way and the Tag Team Titles, meaning Kenzo and Dupree are one four of the pay per view build. Other than that, you have Angle vs. Show, which is fine but something we just recently covered. Dawn vs. Jackie is good for eye candy but I need something with a little more substance. The less said about Tough Enough the better.

Right now Smackdown feels like a classroom where the teacher put a movie on and hoped for the best. It might keep a few people quiet, but there is nothing for the majority of the people there. I’m sure it’s going to get better when the Rumble season starts, but until then we’re stuck with this no effort show and it’s making me long for the days of Maven being a focal point of Raw.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: November 25, 2004
Location: Blue Cross Arena, Rochester, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s Thanksgiving and that means we’re likely in for a heavily themed show. That’s rarely a good idea around here as WWE doesn’t have the best track record with these things. That being said, there are worse things they could do, like focus on Orlando Jordan vs. Josh Matthews again. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Vince McMahon narrates a video thanking the troops.

Opening sequence.

Joy Giovanni is setting the Thanksgiving table and happens to be leaning over quite a bit.

Here’s Torrie Wilson, tonight’s ring announcer, to wish us a happy Thanksgiving and hopes we saved room for dessert: Smackdown. With that bad line out of the way, she introduces the first match.

Rey Mysterio vs. Rene Dupree

Kenzo Suzuki and Rob Van Dam are barred from ringside. Dupree has a black eye coming in and the announcers try to figure where it came from. Maybe a match perhaps? Rey starts fast with the top rope wristdrag but the springboard crossbody is dropkicked out of the air. A guillotine legdrop misses, which is far better than jumping straight down with nothing in mind. Rey’s sitout bulldog gets two more but the 619 attempt is sidestepped for a crash to the floor. Rene’s bad luck continues with a posting and the springboard seated senton gets two. Now the 619 can connect, setting up the springboard legdrop for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was as generic of a match as you can get with both guys doing their regular stuff and getting out of there in a few minutes. You’re only going to get so much out of a match like this but since there are almost no other teams on the show, this is about all you can expect for a build towards the title match. They might as well bring out Van Dam and Suzuki for their match now.

In the back, Hiroko explains Thanksgiving to Kenzo Suzuki, who is too busy fawning over Torrie. Hiroko gets the point and leaves in a huff.

We recap last week’s Tough Enough competition.

Here are Al Snow and the Tough Enough competitors for this week’s shenanigans. Ryan Reeves has two broken ribs but he isn’t quitting. This week’s elimination: Daniel Rodimer, who would bounce around developmental for a long time as a Stephanie McMahon project that never worked out. Tonight it’s arm wrestling with Mizanin having to compete right handed to make it even less fair. Puder beats Mizanin in about a second and Reeves beats Smith, albeit with some more effort. After Smith and Mizanin give their predictions, Puder actually beats Reeves without much trouble.

Eddie and Booker T. are ready for their tag match tonight against JBL and Orlando Jordan. Amy Weber comes in and offers her services as an image consultant, which manages to drive a wedge between them over who will be winning the upcoming title match. Booker talks about Eddie already getting his rematch but Eddie explains why those weren’t fair. Eddie talks about Booker being a five time WCW World Champion and it turns into an argument over family. Amy breaks it up by saying they’re forgetting about Undertaker. Eddie says he doesn’t forget anything and leaves angry.

As we transition to the announcers, we get a CGI version of JBL’s entrance….with JBL as a turkey in the limo. These have been going on throughout the night and they’re as bizarre as they sound.

We recap John Cena winning the US Title from Carlito last week and getting attacked by Jesus after. His kidney is messed up pretty badly.

Carlito and Jesus brag about the injury with Carlito saying Jesus took care of Cena. They still have the chain that injured the kidney last week, which was like a drive by. Jesus says he showed Cena what it was like to be from the streets and if Cena ever comes back, he’ll do it again anywhere Cena wants. Carlito spits apple at the camera.

Rey and RVD alternate between Spanish and English about Rob vs. Suzuki.

Rob Van Dam vs. Kenzo Suzuki

Rey and Rene are barred this time. Rob starts fast with the kicks to the face but gets crotched on top to cut off the momentum. A running clothesline gives Kenzo two as the announcers talk about Japanese Thanksgiving. Kenzo drops a running knee, which Cole describes as “well that was a knee to the nose”, because he’s good at explaining the obvious. Rob fights up with a kick to the face, followed by a springboard kick to the face for good measure. Rolling Thunder connects to set up the Five Star but Hiroko gets in the way. She also hands over her sash, which Kenzo uses to choke Van Dam for the DQ.

Rating: D. So the solution to the boring Tag Team Champions is to have them wrestle two bad matches. They can’t drop the titles soon enough as this has been a terrible reign between two guys who couldn’t get a strong reaction if their lives depended on it. Kenzo going after Torrie isn’t going to work either, though at least it seems that they’re moving towards the team dropping the title.

Post match Hiroko goes after Torrie to set up a catfight with Kenzo breaking it up and gyrating in front of Torrie. Rob kicks him in the face.

Joy has put all the food in the ring with Josh Matthews hosting Big Show’s Thanksgiving. Show is happy to celebrate his favorite holiday and says he’s glad to celebrate with the greatest announce team of all time. Well he would if this was Monday and Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler were here. Show plugs the Rise and Fall of ECW DVD before asking Tazz not to have a flashback and suplex him through the pumpkin pie. Fans: “ECW! ECW!” Show: “You should buy the DVD!”

Show talks about eating a bunch of food when he was a kid, to the point where his dad put a lock on the refrigerator. Then one Thanksgiving his sister brought her boyfriend over. That wasn’t working for Show, so he waited until no one was looking, knocked him out with a turkey, tied him up and threw him into the neighbor’s yard. He told the sister that the boyfriend went home so she went after him, meaning more food for Show.

Now it’s on to all the food he liked to eat, including the cranberry sauce that better be shaped like a can. He calls Cole, Tazz, Tony Chimmel and the production staff to the ring to eat because it’s time to share the wealth. Everyone goes to eat but here’s Luther Reigns to interrupt. Reigns talks about never having a Thanksgiving because he was always in prison.

These people talk about not having enough to eat but he spent his time trying to stay alive. Reigns gets in the ring and makes Joy put him some food together, earning herself a pie to the face. Show sends him into the food and Reigns bails, leaving everyone else to get in a food fight. Joy pies Show to make things even.

I remember watching this live and the same thing stood out to me nearly fifteen years ago: Show sounded natural. This wasn’t scripted and was pretty obviously him being told “go talk about Thanksgiving for a few minutes.” Show is a good talker so it’s not like there was any danger there. Why that isn’t done today is one of the great mysteries of modern WWE.

The announcers are covered in food.

Here’s Kurt Angle, with armed security, for a chat. Angle is thankful for this holiday but not as thankful as the fans are for him starting the Kurt Angle Invitational. The security holds up the Gold Medal and tonight it’s time for someone else to get a shot at it.

Kurt Angle vs. Cody Steele

The fans chant what sounds like LIAR when Cody says he’s from Rochester. Angle even volunteers to drop down to all fours so Cody can have an early advantage. The reversal takes all of five seconds and Angle hits him in the face. That means a breather for Steele, who agrees to go down as well because he doesn’t seem that bright. Of course Angle kicks him in the face and it’s the Angle Slam into the ankle lock for the fast tap.

Angle gets in a little more ankle cranking for a bonus.

The remaining Tough Enough participants get twenty seconds each to tell us what they’re thankful for.

Mizanin is glad to be here, for the Mizfits who vote for him and for not being Daniel Puder.

Reeves is thankful for food and family. He does a survey asking who the people are here to see and Snow has to take the mic away from him for taking too long.

Smith thanks God, friends, family and the fans.

Puder says just about the same thing as Smith while promising to win. His three favorite words are Snap Crackle and Pop and he’ll show us what that means soon.

We look back at Heidenreich breaking down last week.

Paul Heyman talks about Heidenreich being under round the clock supervision and on medication. He knows a different side of Heidenreich, who is a very sensitive man. Heyman actually bows his head in prayer for him. I’ll give WWE this: they’re trying everything they can with Heidenreich, even if he’s that terrible.

Jackie Gayda and Michelle McCool are stretching for obvious reasons when Charlie Haas comes in. Michelle leaves and Charlie likes Jackie’s pilgrim outfit. Jackie is ready to rip Dawn Marie’s costume off and then her head is coming with it. That makes Charlie happy and he doesn’t like the rumors of him cheating on her with Dawn Marie. Kissing ensues. That’s better than Charlie talking again.

Dawn Marie vs. Jackie Gayda

Indian vs. Pilgrim. Catfight, referee shoved, done in thirty seconds.

Post match Charlie tries to break it up and pulls Dawn off. It says a lot when a story about two gorgeous women fighting in small outfits is this uninteresting.

Booker T./Eddie Guerrero vs. John Bradshaw Layfield/Orlando Jordan

JBL and Eddie start by throwing the towel at each other until Eddie snaps off some armdrags. Booker comes in and side slams Jordan for two because Jordan is really not very good. A JBL cheap shot from the apron lets Jordan take Booker down and we hit the chinlock. It’s back to JBL for an elbow to the face and some elbow drops get two.

Jordan grabs another chinlock as Cole thinks the fans are split on who they want as champion. As long as it’s not JBL that is. Booker gets up pretty easily and makes the hot tag off to Eddie so house can be cleaned. Three Amigos keep JBL in trouble and everything breaks down. JBL powerbombs Eddie out of the corner and boots Booker in the face.

Booker pops up for the ax kick but a fan in a Rey Mysterio mask decks Booker in the jaw. There’s something hilarious about the smartened up security guard sitting there with his arms crossed as a fake fan attacks a wrestler. So much for suspension of disbelief. It’s Danny Basham, followed by another “fan” (Cole: “Now who could this be?” I’m guessing the other fan helping Danny Basham is…..Funaki probably.) shoving Eddie off the top. That would be Doug Basham, who smiles as the Clothesline From JBL finishes Eddie.

Rating: D. Believe it or not, Jordan was in fact able to bring down a pair of Hall of Famers and JBL, who should be in there too. There’s no way to believe that he’s a threat to these two and yet he’s in there week after week for reasons I still don’t understand. It’s another bad match to close out the show, which really doesn’t surprise me.

Post match Undertaker comes out to crush JBL, leaving the Bashams as an afterthought to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. I’ve had to say this a lot lately but I feel so sorry for the fans who bought tickets to this. Quick matches from the Tag Team Title feud, an Angle squash, a thirty second match between Dawn and Jackie, a food fight and a thirty second long arm wrestling tournament from people fighting for a chance to train in developmental. Then their big main event: an Orlando Jordan match. If I paid money for this show, I wouldn’t be coming back and that’s been the case for a few weeks now.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: November 11, 2004
Location: American Bank Arena, Corpus Christi, Texas
Commentators: Tazz, Michael Cole

It’s the go home show for Survivor Series and hopefully this show is a little more inspiring than Monday’s efforts. Survivor Series isn’t looking like the most thrilling show in the world but under the right circumstances, Smackdown’s half could be a little bit better. Hopefully this week features a little less Tough Enough, but I don’t think we’ll be that lucky. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

As promised last week, we open with the Tough Enough guys waiting for the Torrie Wilson Sex Test. Two women from the Tonight Show are here to call the action, but first Al Snow needs to give Chris Nawrocki a chance to quit due to having a broken rib. He says no so it’s time to announce the first cut: Nick Mitchell, who was dressed as a cowboy for the Sex Test, complete with the pockets cut out of the back of his jeans with nothing underneath.

With that out of the way, here’s Torrie with a riding crop. Mizanin, in a Santa hat and Santa boxer shorts, holds the ropes open for her. Each one of them has fifteen seconds to make out with a WWE Diva, who will then pick the winner for a very special surprise. Torrie brings out Dawn Marie (in very little clothing) as I hope people aren’t falling for this so far. And yeah, Torrie brings out Mae Young for the least surprising surprise ever.

Puder goes first and gets pulled down as the Tonight Show women offer absolutely nothing. Mae jumps into Justice’s arms and gets spanked, sending Tazz into hysterics. Rodimer wants a peck and gets taken down to the mat. Reeves gets the same but winds up on top of Mae.

Mizanin has condoms and gets on the mat as well, where he spanks Mae a bit. She chokes him for an image I never needed to see. Nawrocki goes last and lays down slowly with Mae kind of laying on him. Puder wins and gets a lap dance from Mae. In case you didn’t get the joke clearly enough earlier. This took over fifteen minutes for the same Mae Young joke over and over and over.

Chavo Guerrero yells at his old friend when Rey Mysterio comes in. It’s nothing to worry about.

Spike Dudley/Billy Kidman vs. Chavo Guerrero/Rey Mysterio

Kidman offers an early distraction so Spike can jump Chavo to start. That doesn’t go well for Spike as it’s already off to Rey for the quick legdrop. Spike sends him into the corner though and it’s off to Kidman for the first time. The top rope hurricanrana takes Kidman down and Chavo comes in for the long awaited revenge.

Spike cuts him off though and the heels take over on Chavo this time. A whip into the barricade sets up a chinlock with a knee in Chavo’s back as the pace slows. Back up and Kidman clotheslines Spike by mistake, allowing Chavo to suplex Kidman onto him. The hot tag brings in Rey and it’s a springboard seated senton to Chavo. The basement dropkick hits Spike as everything breaks down. Chavo dives onto Kidman and it’s the springboard splash to give Rey the pin on Spike.

Rating: C. Pretty run of the mill match here as it’s all but guaranteed that Mysterio isn’t winning the title on Sunday. Spike isn’t exactly inspiring as champion but it’s not like there are any other fresh options at the moment. We’ve seen Rey and Chavo with the title so many times now and it’s becoming more and more clear that this division doesn’t offer much at all.

Orlando Jordan comes up to Josh Matthews to offer an apology. Josh looks scared as Jordan talks about not taking him seriously, even though Josh was a Tough Enough finalist. Jordan has to make him shake his hand and slaps Josh for the lack of respect. My goodness we’re still going with this?

Post break Booker T. brings the bloody Josh to Theodore Long’s office where Josh says he wants Jordan tonight. Oh and he wants Booker in his corner too. The match is made.

Team Guerrero is ready for their matches tonight, even though Eddie doesn’t have a fourth member yet. Eddie looks a little nervous but he’s fine in Texas.

Raw Rebound.

Orlando Jordan vs. Josh Matthews

Cole: “I can’t believe this is happening.” Preach it brother. Jordan is as cocky as he should be and puts an attacking Josh on top without much effort. A high crossbody is blocked as well so Josh scores with a dropkick to the back for some more luck. Some rollups get two each and it’s time to head outside for the four way staredown.

Back in and JBL trips Josh as the referee yells at Booker, sending Cole completely over the edge. The chinlock doesn’t last long but we stop so Booker can superkick JBL. Now the high crossbody gives Josh two as JBL gets up on the apron. That’s enough of a distraction so Josh can hit Jordan low, setting up Booker’s ax kick for the pin.

Rating: D-. What is this supposed to accomplish? Booker is costing JBL’s loser lackey matches to a commentator. How does that make me want to see the title match any more? The match was terrible because Jordan is awful and Josh isn’t a wrestler. What were they expecting from this one? At least it wasn’t all that long.

Mark Jindrak/Luther Reigns vs. Eddie Guerrero/Rob Van Dam

Hold on though as here are Carlito and Jesus to do commentary. Jindrak kicks Van Dam in the corner to start and the split legged moonsault misses. It’s off to Reigns for stomps in the same corner and this one goes a little better for Rob, with a few kicks putting Reigns down for a change. Eddie comes in with the slingshot hilo to take over but a Jindrak distraction breaks up the Three Amigos.

Back from a break so abrupt that Cole can’t finish his “this match will continue” with Carlito having spat apple on him. Eddie fights out of a chinlock and nails a flapjack but stops to yell at Carlito. Reigns uses the distraction to jump Van Dam and the villains take over again. The chinlock goes on before Jindrak and Reigns take turns stomping.

Rob slips out of a powerslam and brings in Eddie for the headscissors to Jindrak. Everything breaks down and Eddie hits Three Amigos on Reigns as Rolling Thunder hits Jindrak. Carlito gets dropkicked off the apron but Rob misses a dive. With the referee distracted, Eddie hits the apron with a chair and throws it to Jesus so Carlito and Jesus are gone. Back in and stereo frog splashes give Eddie and Rob the pin.

Rating: C. This was fine and played up the idea that Team Eddie is in a bit of trouble due to being down a member. Then again, is it really any secret about who the last member is going to be? And are Jindrak and Reigns combined equal to any member of Team Eddie? This is a pretty one sided match on paper and watching Eddie and Rob vs. two goons wasn’t the most inspiring build.

Post match Eddie announces the pretty obvious: John Cena is the fourth member of the team.

Post break Carlito yells at Long about what happened but Theodore doesn’t want to hear it because Jesus was in the same club that night. Cena is going to be in the ring at Survivor Series and Carlito has to get over it.

Recap of the Tough Enough shenanigans earlier tonight.

How to vote for the Tough Enough guys.

JBL rants about getting out of Texas because he wanted a better life. The only reason Booker T. was the WCW World Champion was because JBL wasn’t in WCW. JBL isn’t losing and if by some miracle he does, he’s out of WWE. He lists off everything that he’s gone through as champion and isn’t losing on Sunday. Instead, he’ll be putting Booker through more than Booker ever thought possible because that’s what JBL does. Having JBL do the big promo for the title match probably isn’t the right idea.

We look back at Heidenreich attacking Jackie Gayda and Charlie Haas last week.

Here’s Paul Heyman to yell at Michael Cole, calling him a JR wannabe. Tazz is tired of this and takes the glasses off as Heidenreich is in the ring. There go the lights though and it’s Undertaker staring Heidenreich down…until Heyman breaks it up. Undertaker looks bored staring at Heidenreich and it’s not like you can blame him.

Survivor Series rundown.

Big Show vs. Kurt Angle

Team Angle is out with Kurt, who says that Team Eddie has no chance because no one ca beat him. Team Eddie comes out to even things up and we take a break. Back with Angle not wanting to get in the ring until Jindrak offers a distraction. The cheap shot from behind doesn’t work so Show blasts Angle in the chest with the chops.

Another distraction also fails, with Angle going back first into the post. Back in and Angle gets in a shot to the knee to set up a choke but everyone gets in a brawl on the floor. Team Angle gets the better of it as the ankle lock goes on. Show breaks it up and grabs the chokeslam, drawing in Jindrak and Reigns for the DQ.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing, though it was nice of them to not wait around very long before the big brawl between everyone on the floor. You know that’s where they’re going so why bother with anything more than they had to? Show vs. Angle is fine enough for something like this and Show continues to look good since his return.

Post match Angle goes for the ankle again and might have broken it to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. I don’t know if it’s the lack of Maven or the lack of a not very interesting stipulation, but the Smackdown Survivor Series match is a lot more interesting than the Raw version. Yeah it’s pretty one sided on paper, but at least they’re having a more interesting build.

The rest of the show wasn’t all that great and the JBL vs. Booker feud is more about Josh Matthews and Orlando Jordan than the World Title, but I want to see this half of Sunday’s show a lot more than the Raw half. Probably because what is being built up here is actually being blown off on Sunday instead of over the next month. Not a good show, but I want to see part of Survivor Series more than I did before, so points for that at least.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: Fite.TV

United We Stand
Date: April 4, 2019
Location: Rahway Recreation Center, Rahway, New Jersey
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Don Callis

It’s nice that Impact has finally realized that they should be running a show over Wrestlemania weekend. How that eluded them for so long isn’t clear but I think we can go with general reasons of “It’s Impact.” The main event here is Rob Van Dam(recently signed)/Sabu vs. the Lucha Bros in a match that isn’t likely to be as epic as the company expects. Let’s get to it.

Earlier today, Rob Van Dam showed up!

The opening video talks about how five companies (Impact, AAA, MLW, WrestlePro, MLW, Lucha Underground) are coming together for one show that shows what can happen when you unite.

Johnny Impact vs. Jake Crist vs. Dante Fox vs. Jack Evans vs. Pat Buck

Ultimate X (four structures with cables crossing over the ring and an X hanging in the middle) and the winner gets a future X-Division Title shot. Everyone goes to the floor to start with Johnny being smart enough to go straight for the X. Buck makes a save and handstands his way out of an RKO attempt, because Impact is known for his RKO’s. Austin comes back in and kicks Fox to the floor but gets pulled outside by Crist.

The camera misses a Crist dive and it’s Buck cutting Austin off and hiptossing him to the floor. Nearly everyone goes for a climb and the audio starts cutting in and out. Never change Impact. Fox pulls Impact off and Crist hits a superplex on Impact for a bonus. Buck gets pulled off and it’s a massive knockdown. Buck is up first but can’t get very far as the audio goes out again.

A Tower of Doom brings everyone down and Impact hits a spinning Razor’s Edge slam. Fox goes with a Coast to Coast instead of going up for the X and then hits an imploding moonsault. Austin one ups him with a dive OFF THE TOP OF THE STRUCTURE onto everyone for the huge knockdown. Back in and Buck spears Crist off the cables and Impact hits a Spanish Fly on Fox. Austin climbs up and hangs upside down, leaving Crist to hit a diving cutter. Impact uses the knockdown to pull down the X for the win at 13:01.

Rating: C+. It’s a bunch of people doing a bunch of dives and flips off a bunch of high structures. What else can you really expect here? Well perhaps not having the World Champion getting a title shot against the midcard champion? Impact vs. Swann should be a good match, though there might be better choices to pick from.

Moose yells at Eddie Edwards in the back and the audio is so bad that you can’t make out a word. Cage comes in and tells them to get on the same page. I’m sure you can figure out the story, but you should be able to hear the story as well.

Video on last year’s Impact vs. Lucha Underground show with varying levels of audio.

Team Impact vs. Team Lucha Underground

Impact: Brian Cage, Moose, Eddie Edwards

Lucha Underground: Drago, Daga, Marty the Moth Martinez, Aerostar

Impact is down 4-3 to start but there’s a replacement for….someone Impact isn’t exactly making clear. You know who the replacement is going to be. Who else could it be? OF COURSE IT’S TOMMY DREAMER BECAUSE IT’S ALWAYS TOMMY DREAMER!!! Eddie and Aerostar start things off with Aerostar snapping off a hurricanrana and Eddie rolling around into a standoff.

Marty and Tommy come in and it’s Martinez going to the ample gut. Drago comes in and snaps off most of a headscissors to Dreamer so it’s Cage coming in for a change of pace. Daga’s running headscissors just annoys Cage, who is right back with a backbreaker to take over. Moose and Cage get in an argument though and Daga takes over with some shots to Moose’s knees.

Cage comes back in to clear out most of the luchadors until Daga and Drago combine to kick him in the face. Everyone gets set outside for the dives and it’s Dreamer teasing a dive before going outside for more punching. He doesn’t dive because he’s old and fat you see. Dreamer spits water at them and we settle back down to Aerostar getting two off a cutter to Eddie.

Drago and Daga start taking turns on Eddie until he dropkicks Daga in the face. The tag brings Cage in and the power goes up in a hurry. Everything breaks down (you knew that was coming) and we go to the parade of secondary finishers. Cage loads up Daga for the F5 but Moose spears his partner, leaving Dreamer to cane Moose in the head. Marty’s double arm DDT finishes Dreamer at 10:22.

Rating: C-. Much like the opener, what are you expecting here? This was a bunch of people in one match, getting in as much stuff as they could at once. Dreamer taking the fall was a relief, but more than that I’m rather sad to see Lucha Underground being such an afterthought. The show is done and it’s sad that they’re trying to throw themselves out here like this with nothing to go on to next. At least they won though. That’s something right?

Taya Valkyrie is in a four way tonight but just like Johnny Impact, she’ll overcome the odds and win.

Knockouts Title: Rosemary vs. Jordynne Grace vs. Katie Forbes vs. Taya Valkyrie

Taya is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Forbes dances and gyrates a lot with very big hair. Everyone goes after Rosemary, which is kind of a weird choice when Grace is right there. We go to the early exchange of rollups that have no chance of working and no one buys them as real near falls. Taya kicks at Katie in the corner and hits a running hip attack. Rosemary comes back in and shouts Taya down but Grace sends Rosemary shoulder first into the post.

A Vader Bomb gets two and a spinning Samoan drop plants Rosemary again. Forbes comes in with a bicycle kick for two on Grace but a collision puts all four down. Rosemary does her upside down triangle choke on Grace until Katie breaks it up. Grace’s missile dropkicks takes down Katie and Taya and it’s Grace slamming everyone in sight. Rosemary spears Taya but here’s Su Yung to draw Rosemary up the ramp. Forbes manages to fireman’s carry Grace for some squats but gets reversed into the Grace Driver. Not that it matters as Taya runs over and steals the pin to retain at 9:00.

Rating: D. They really missed here as there was no flow or structure to the match with a bunch of spots coming one after another. Taya stealing the win isn’t surprising as this isn’t going to be the kind of show where anything significant is going to happen. Not a good match and it really didn’t work, mainly due to trying to do too much.

Tessa Blanchard isn’t interested in what is between Joey Ryan’s legs.

Konnan is tired of disrespect from Low Ki and Ricky Martinez.

Low Ki/Ricky Martinez vs. LAX

It’s interesting how much less I care about Low Ki and Martinez without Salina de la Renta. Konnan is here with LAX though. Low Ki is back in the Hitman attire, which still doesn’t work. Ortiz and Martinez start things off and there’s no contact in the first minute. Make that two minutes and it’s off to Low Ki before anything happens. Santana and Low Ki finally lock up…and do it again…and a third time as they’re not exactly cranking up the work here. Ki puts on an armbreaker over the ropes to get in the first significant offense but everything breaks down for a standoff.

Martinez kicks Ortiz in the head at the five minute mark but a northern lights suplex gives Ortiz two. An assisted sitout flapjack plants Martinez for two but it’s Ki coming in off a blind tag to take over. Martinez comes back in for the Madison Rayne face thrusts into the mat and it’s Ki cranking on the neck. Santana finally avoids a charge and it’s off to Ortiz as the pace picks up.

A middle rope dropkick sends Ki down as the camera keeps cutting so much that it’s hard to get a clear shot of some of these moves. Martinez gets caught in the corner for a superkick into a Tower of London but Ki dives off the top for the save. Ortiz gets caught in an electric chair with Ki adding a Disaster Kick for a near fall of their own. Santana posts Ki though and a Death Valley Driver finishes Martinez at 12:38.

Rating: C-. Ki and Martinez weren’t exactly on fire here and as great as LAX are, they can only do so much. It’s not like the match is terrible or anything close to it, but it’s also not something I ever got into. The lack of Salina really does lower the interest levels in Martinez and Ki, but it could have been a lot worse.

Sami Callihan is ready to show Jimmy Havoc what Ohio violence is all about.

Tessa Blanchard vs. Joey Ryan

Before the match, Joey does his lollipop and baby oil deals. Joey offers to let Tessa touch it but she flips him off instead. A waistlock doesn’t get Tessa anywhere as Joey tries to make her touch it. Hang on though as Joey shouts something….and I can barely hear it. Whatever Joey asked, he gets tossed across the ring by the chest hair instead. Magnum gives Tessa two but Joey sends her outside for a posting. The arm is banged up and Joey makes it worse by bending it around the barricade. Back in and the arm work continues as Ryan can do a standard enough match if he’s willing to try.

Tessa comes back with a hurricanrana to send him outside, setting up a suicide dive. Back in and Tessa gets two off a Cannonball but he’s right back with an arm trap suplex. The Fujiwara armbar goes on but Tessa is back up with a springboard tornado DDT. A German suplex, meaning Joey grabs her by the chest for a suplex, followed by Tessa grabbing his crotch for the flip, gets two. The lollipop from the trunks goes into Tessa’s mouth for the near fall out of the superkick but Tessa breaks up a superplex. Magnum finishes Ryan at 10:48.

Rating: D-. Nope. I don’t find it funny and it’s so out of place three days before a women’s match is going to main event Wrestlemania. Tessa winning is the only call they could make but Joey’s act is old and played out. He’s been doing that same stuff for a long time now and I roll my eyes every time I hear about it because I don’t find it entertaining. It didn’t fit here but he got it in anyway because….well what else was he going to do?

X-Division Title: Rich Swann vs. Flamita

Swann is defending and we get a handshake. An exchange of shoulders doesn’t work so Swann knocks him outside for the big flip dive. Back in and Swann’s stepover kick to the back of the head gets two and it’s time for the slow form stomping. Swann chops away in the corner but misses a charge and takes the 619 in the corner.

A missile dropkick sends Swann outside and it’s a Backstabber for two on the champ back inside. More kicks to Flamita’s head set up a missed Phoenix splash and Flamita grabs the Spanish Fly. A 450 gets two and Flamita is frustrated. He hammers away at the champ until a Lethal Injection cuts him off. Now the Phoenix splash retains the title at 7:46.

Rating: C. Quick yet entertaining match here and that’s about all you could have asked them to do. Both guys can do so much more but what else can you do given less than eight minutes? Swann has become one of the better talents around and you don’t really ever see him have bad matches. That’s a pretty good role to play and he does it very well.

Rob Van Dam and Sabu say (yes Sabu talks) that they’re Rob Van Dam and Sabu.

Jimmy Havoc vs. Sami Callihan

Monster’s Ball, meaning a street fight. They both bring weapons to the ring but Sami goes back to get some extras. You wouldn’t want to be unprepared. Jimmy pokes him in the eyes to start and it’s already time for a staple gun to Sami’s chest. Another staple to the crotch has Sami in trouble until he gets in a bell shot to the face. More weapons are thrown in and Jimmy is already bleeding.

The spit chop only hits the post but Sami’s hand is fine enough to run into….I have no idea actually as the camera missed it. Havoc stops for some water so Sami chairs him in the face and it’s time for a fight on the apron. Sami gets out of a piledriver and hits one of his own on the apron to really take over. Well as much as you’re going to take over in a hardcore match. Sami staples his way out of a sunset flip and then staples pieces of newspaper to different parts of Havoc.

Some frying pan shots to the head let Sami take a bow and we bust out the lemon juice into the open wound. Havoc gets caught in a trashcan and beaten with a chair but fights back anyway and manages to get the better of it. A paper cut to the mouth has Sami in trouble and it’s time to take off Sami’s shoes. That means another paper cut to the toes with actual salt being poured into the wound. A Death Valley Driver into the trashcan gets two and it’s time for the Legos. The Cactus Piledriver onto the Legos gives Sami one but another one onto some open chairs finishes Havoc at 13:51.

Rating: C-. Picture any hardcore match you’ve seen in recent years, though minute the barbed wire. I can only get so much into these things because there just isn’t much to the things. Both guys are best known for their violent stuff and when you see it so often, it kind of loses whatever impact it can have. As has been the case all night: it could have been worse, but it’s nothing that got my attention.

The announcers recap the show so far.

Rob Van Dam/Sabu vs. Lucha Bros

Non title and it’s anything goes. We start with CERO MIEDO vs. ROB VAN DAM so the fans deem it awesome before any contact is made. Sabu finally starts punching and we’re at a standoff after two minutes. They head outside and it makes a lot more sense to go with the brawling instead of making the mistake of trying to have a match. Sabu stumbles through the Arabian press and Rob hits the spinning legdrop for two.

Pentagon kicks them both down and Sabu gets kicked a second time to make it even worse. The wheelbarrow splash gets two on Rob and it’s already time for a table. Sabu gets in a DDT on Pentagon and the Bros are put on the table for the Five Star/top rope legdrop as they try to turn back the clock again. Fenix chairs Rob to the floor and it’s a double superkick into the spike Fear Factor for the pin at 8:05.

Rating: D. Well what else were you expecting here? Van Dam and Sabu are both up there in years (Sabu is the older of the two at 54) and you’re not going to get much else out of them. Their one big spot looked good enough but this was all about the Lucha Bros doing what they could to cover up the rest of the match. It was fine for a nice little nostalgia moment, and thankfully that’s really all it’s going to be.

The lights go out as they shake hands and pose to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. And that’s being generous. Between the production issues (audio cutting out earlier in the night, theme music being so loud you could barely hear commentary and the music cutting off instead of fading out), the lack of anything significant happening, most of the matches not being very good and the incredibly dim lighting that made it look like they were in the dark most of the night, it came off like a pretty amateurish show, which isn’t a good sign for a promotion as big (and old) as Impact. Not a disaster, but more pedestrian stuff that isn’t going to draw anyone back in.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: October 21, 2004
Location: MetroCentre, Rockford, Illinois
Commentators: Michael, Cole, Tazz

Maybe it’s having Taboo Tuesday dulling my brain for nearly three hours but last week’s show isn’t exactly standing out to me. I’m not sure what to expect here but Survivor Series is in about a month so the build is probably about to begin. Carlito is the US Champion and seems to be getting some traction while Kurt Angle vs. Big Show doesn’t seem to be finishing up anytime soon. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Torrie Wilson, basically in a swimsuit, as guest ring announcer.

Carlito Caribbean Cool vs. Rico

Non-title. Before the match, Carlito says the title looks good on him and he would look good on Torrie. She isn’t interested so he spits the apple on her, sending Torrie running off. The fans are behind Rico as he backdrops Carlito to start but Carlito’s swinging neckbreaker gets two. Rico has to fight out of the very early chinlock and there’s the first spank. A kick to the face staggers Carlito and another kick to the face makes things even worse. Not that it matters as Carlito is right back with an Overdrive (that Rocker Dropper into a neckbreaker) for the pin.

That would be Rico’s last match in WWE. I always liked the guy, but there was no way he was going to do anything with that gimmick. It’s a shame too as his time in OVW was outstanding and he could have been something if he was allowed to be taken seriously, but the character was death.

Cole and Tazz talk about John Cena’s injuries. He’s recovering and should be able to save his kidney.

Booker T. complains to Theodore Long about being put in a six man tag with Rob Van Dam and Rey Mysterio because he’s done with tag teaming. Long doesn’t want to hear it and doesn’t care what Booker does, as long as it’s out there in the ring. Tonight, Long needs him to represent gangster. True that.

Video on Billy Kidman injuring Chavo Guerrero and being upset that no one was there for him when he was depressed. Kidman has since snapped and become selfish, using the shooting star as a weapon on everyone he can.

Here’s the injured Guerrero for his return, which Cole hypes up as FIFTY FIVE days in the making. Less than two months isn’t exactly some epic return but Cole hadn’t learned subtlety yet (or ever actually). Cole: “Many people call Chavo the greatest cruiserweight in Smackdown history and it’s really hard to argue that point.” He also hasn’t learned much about Smackdown, Smackdown’s history, or cruiserweights. Chavo talks about the overwhelming support he received while he was sitting at home and he’s very grateful. He’s been excited to set foot in the ring again but here’s Kidman to interrupt.

They’re both victims in this thing because Kidman suffered too. The people made him into a monster over an accident and that’s a lot to go through. All that matters is that Chavo forgives him, though Chavo doesn’t seem to agree. Chavo says this isn’t ballet and talks about a friend who has stuck by him throughout the entire thing. They shake hands, but that friend wasn’t Kidman so Chavo beats him down. A running clothesline sends Kidman to the floor.

Paul Heyman comes in to see Heidenreich before his first match on Smackdown. Long wants to cancel the match but Heidenreich is having none of that. Apparently there are some safety concerns so Heidenreich has to come out in a straitjacket. Neither of them like the idea with Heyman saying it leaves him vulnerable to the Undertaker. Heidenreich is willing to wear it because he wants to fight. The jacket feels like sweet home.

Video of the Survivor Series press conference.

Heidenreich vs. Shannon Moore

Shannon is smart enough to go after Heidenreich while the jacket is still on but a headbutt knocks him right back down. Heidenreich throws him outside but Shannon comes back in with some forearms. A big boot and backbreaker have Moore in trouble again though and a swinging Boss Man Slam finishes him off.

Post match the jacket goes back on but Heidenreich isn’t done. He wants Undertaker and calls him out while defenseless. No one comes out so Heidenreich demands Heyman bring him.

Torrie complains about Carlito spitting apple on her when Kenzo Suzuki comes up to sing to her. Thankfully Long comes in to cut things off. This wasn’t on the Network version because laws about music are screwy.

Long strolls up to Carlito and asks about the spitting on Torrie. Carlito doesn’t even get a chance to answer before Long switches to accusing him of attacking Cena in the club. That’s not a cool tone and Carlito is going to talk to his lawyers before he answers.

Video on the European tour. The FBI being so over is a strange sight to see.

Orlando Jordan interrupts Booker’s jump rope session to ask about a meeting with JBL. Booker walks away.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Mark Jindrak

Luther Reigns is out with Jindrak. Eddie flips out of an early wristlock but gets caught in a headlock. One arm gets Jindrak out of a fight over a top wristlock as Cole and Tazz make short jokes about each other. Eddie finally gets smart and pulls him down by the hair to escape before hitting a pair of armdrags into a dropkick. We take a break and come back with Eddie headlocking him down, allowing the announcers to hype up the Tough Enough finalists being unveiled tonight.

Jindrak suplexes his way to freedom and we hit the chinlock. A backdrop gets two on Eddie and we’re already back in the chinlock. Eddie fights up and gets in a headscissors, setting up the Three Amigos, which actually connect for a change. The frog splash is broken up by Reigns, who gets kicked off the apron and ejected but the distraction lets Kurt Angle run in and slide Jindrak the ring bell. Now the splash hits the bell and Jindrak gets the cheap pin.

Rating: D+. You know, for someone who is billed as this amazing athlete with a record vertical leap (which I believe still stands in WWE today), Jindrak is a pretty basic wrestler. He’s huge and has a great physique, but he doesn’t exactly do anything that shows off his abilities. Here he used basic arm holds, a backdrop and some chinlocks. Any lower midcard guy can do that, which makes me wonder why they’re wasting that kind of natural ability.

Heyman comes in to see Long because Heidenreich would like a favor. Long: “Now this is going to be good.” Heidenreich wants a match with Undertaker at Survivor Series and Long makes the match without hesitation. That’s not it though as Long needs a signed contract. Heyman is fine with that and has power of attorney over Heidenreich so he’ll sign right now. It’s not so simple though as Long wants Heyman to get a contract signed….by Undertaker. Oh and have it by next week.

Booker comes in to see Rob Van Dam and Rey Mysterio, saying that while they’re a great team, he’s doing his own thing. He didn’t want any part of this six man tonight and wants them to stay out of his way. Booker leaves before they can say anything so Rob and Rey agree to watch each other’s back.

The announcers discuss the awesomeness of Tough Enough.

And now, the Tough Enough competition in Venice Beach, California. Various people talk about what a big chance this is, including a certain Mike Mizanin, in what I believe is his first appearance on WWE TV. A guy in tye dye named Brian Danovich talks about how he’s wanted to do this his entire life and gets a good amount of screen time.

First up is an obstacle course, then a weightlifting test and a 40 yard dash (on sand). After the physical tests, we’ll have a personality/charisma test. We see some highlights of the physical stuff with various people collapsing and vomiting. Believe it or not, Bill DeMott is right there yelling at everyone. Daniel Rodimer is very confident and seems to do well with the physical aspects. You can tell they see potential there. Big John Studd’s son is here as well and wants to do well to honor his father. Marty Wright is very intense and has face paint on. He’s thirty years old but is ready to prove himself because he wants a job from Vince.

Some of the guys got in the ring for some grappling and to show what they could do as far as charisma and entertainment. One guy agreed to run into the ocean without anything on. Danovich tried to impress them on the bench press and seemed to injure his chest. On the second day, it seems to be more of the same with an ex-NFL player collapsing and leaving, though he apologized for wasting everyone’s time. That’s impressive.

Danovich came back with a huge bruise on his arm (that has to be a torn muscle) and did the obstacle course with one arm, actually finishing the thing. He had a torn bicep and a torn pectoral and promised to get to the big time one day. Al Snow gave him a very nice speech…and then immediately cut him.

As he was leaving though, Johnny Ace said that because of that heart, WWE wanted to pay for his surgery and send him to OVW on a developmental deal (From what I can find, he kept getting hurt and never made it to the main roster, or even to a match as far as I can tell. He passed away in August 2018 from what seems like an overdose.). Miz gets a quick profile where he talks about how he sees being on the Real World as a detriment. He wanted to be a wrestler and actually proved that he was a good athlete in the tests.

Back to Wright, he admitted that he was actually forty years old and was cut for lying. He would debut for OVW about seven months later as the Boogeyman. Daniel Puder is a UFC fighter and admitted that his promo was terrible. On the second day he had the best time on the course and got a woman to get in the ring with him because he’s cute.

The eight finalists:

Daniel Puder

Ryan Reeves

Nick Mitchell

Mike Mizanin

Justice Smith

John Meyer

Chris Nawrocki

Daniel Rodimer

Everyone is really happy to have made the finals. This ran for nearly eighteen minutes and while it served well as a way to get to know some people, it was WAY too long to air on a regular TV show. Make it a half hour special somewhere but don’t spent a fifth of your air time on something like this. I’d also hope they didn’t air this live in the arena, though with a taped show there’s a good chance they didn’t. This was several steps above the Diva Search, which consisted of things like selling ice cream and dancing. It’s still not exactly the best idea in the world, but it makes for slightly less annoying TV.

JBL and Jordan come up to Booker in the back but he cuts them off and congratulates JBL for all of his success. As a fellow Texan, Booker thinks along a similar path and likes the idea of having a house boy. He’s just kidding, though Jordan doesn’t find it funny.

John Bradshaw Layfield/Kenzo Suzuki/Rene Dupree vs. Rob Van Dam/Rey Mysterio/Booker T.

This is billed as a Champions Showcase. Rob and Rene start things off and the announcers bring up last week’s scary German suplex to Dupree. They go to the mat this time for an early standoff before Rob tags Rey while going down from a sunset flip. That means a pair of dropkicks to both sides of Dupree but another blind tag brings Suzuki in. An enziguri sends him into the corner and it’s a Bronco Buster from Rey into a split legged moonsault from Rob.

It’s already back to Rey for a springboard seated senton and the springboard spinning crossbody gets two. A headscissors/headlock takeover has the tag champs down so JBL comes in for a fall away slam. That’s fine with Rob, who crossbodies both of them for a double knockdown as Booker watches from the apron. Rob dives onto Rene but Kenzo throws Rey’s feet at Booker to knock him to the floor.

Back from a break with JBL suplexing Rey and grabbing a sleeper, which is quite strange looking given the size difference. Rey gets out and hits a headscissors but Booker won’t tag, allowing JBL to drag Rey into the corner. Dupree comes in but the 619 is broken up with a kick to the back.

Everything breaks down and Van Dam misses an ax handle off the apron for a crash into the announcers’ table so Rey DDT’s Dupree. Booker finally gets the tag to face JBL and they smile at each other. Booker loads up Rey for the Clothesline From JBL but winds up kicking all three villains down. Rene and Kenzo are sent outside, leaving JBL to take the ax kick for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was as efficient as they could get with a nice story being told of Booker being in it for himself and then going exactly the way he should have gone. Booker is more than qualified for a run after the title and could get a good match out of JBL if everything goes right. You can see the obvious Tag Team Title match on a pay per view as well so it’s a well done job of knocking out two stories at once.

JBL looks terrified to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. What we got was good and you can see some seeds planted for Survivor Series, but egads that Tough Enough thing felt out of place. It’s way too long and while it gives me a lot more hope than the Diva Search did, I’m almost terrified to see what else we might have to sit through going forward. The rest of the show was the usual hit or miss, though the main event was good stuff and helps set up a lot going forward. Overall, not the worst, but that Tough Enough thing really hurt it. Oh and Heidenreich, who is still awful.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6