Wrestlemania XXII
Date: April 2, 2006
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 17,159
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

We head to the midwest here for a pretty forgotten show. The main events here are Cena defending against HHH and Angle defending against Guerrero and Orton. No that isn’t a typo. The triple threat has nothing to do with Rey Mysterio but rather is there to milk every dime possible out of Eddie’s corpse. Seriously, that’s it. Other than that we have Shawn vs. Vince and Edge vs. Foley in a match that allegedly made Edge a bigger deal. Let’s get to it.

Michelle Williams of Destiny’s Child sings America the Beautiful.

The opening video is a Wrestlemania montage set to I Dare You by Shinedown. Awesome song and an awesome video.

We also get the usual kind of opening video with hype for the major matches.

Raw Tag Titles: Carlito/Chris Masters vs. Big Show/Kane

The monsters are defending here. Kane and Masters start stuff out and the 6’5 Masters looks tiny by comparison. Show headbutts him from the apron before coming in legally for some chops. A poke to Big Show’s eye slows him down and here’s Carlito who is immediately chopped down. Masters is slammed down as well with Show throwing Carlito over the top and out onto Chris.

Kane goes up top and dives onto both guys as the challengers are in trouble. Somewhere in between there the turnbuckle pad has been removed and Show misses a charge, going head first into said buckle. It doesn’t seem to have much effect though as Show suplexes both guys down with ease. Off to Kane as everything breaks down. Kane pounds away on Carlito in the corner and hits the side slam for no cover.

The top rope clothesline misses Masters though and there’s the Masterlock to Kane. Show breaks it up seconds later but there’s the Backstabber to Kane. The chokeslam is broken up by Masters and Show is sent to the floor. Kane’s double chokeslam attempt is broken up but after causing some heel miscommunication, a solo version to Carlito retains the titles.

Rating: C. Not bad here but this is one of the matches that probably could have been cut for the sake of trimming the show a bit. The match was a squash and not a very interesting one either. That’s the problem with a pair of giants like Big Show and Kane: there’s no one that can stop them and the resulting matches are dull at times. Not bad but it felt like a Raw match.

The losers argue post match.

Shawn says that when he told Vince to grow up, he was telling the truth. It’s pretty funny that a year ago Shawn and Angle stole the show and a year before that he stole the show with Benoit and HHH. This year though it’s going to be about violence, not the five star classic. Shawn tells Vince to pray tonight because he’ll be enduring quite a bit.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Finlay vs. Ric Flair vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Matt Hardy vs. Bobby Lashley

Money in the Bank here. Shelton is Intercontinental Champion and Matt is arguably the favorite. It’s a big brawl to start with Lashley cleaning house. The crowd favors RVD. Benjamin hits a BIG kick to Lashley’s head to put him down as Matt tries to bring in the first ladder. Instead it’s Van Dam with a baseball slide to take Matt down, followed by a big flip dive to put him down again. Shelton brings in a ladder of his own and after laying out Finlay with it, he sets the ladder up as a ramp for a springboard flip dive to take out everyone under the age of 40.

Finlay sets up a ladder but here’s Flair for the save. Naitch tries to climb but Matt superplexes him off the ladder which is good enough to hurt Flair’s back and knock him out of the match. As Flair is taken out, Van Dam lays out Shelton on the ladder but misses Rolling Thunder, hitting only the ladder. Lashley goes for a climb but Benjamin goes up to stop him. Shelton tries a sunset bomb over the top of the ladder but it takes Matt and Finlay helping to complete the move.

Matt gets a running start at Finlay but has a ladder pelted at him to put Hardy right back down. Finlay sets up the ladder but here’s Flair hobbling down the aisle. Instead of climbing up the ladder though, Finlay goes into the aisle and gets chopped back down. Ric fights off Shelton and Hardy and goes up, getting his hand on the case. Finlay goes up the ladder though and blasts him with the club to put him back down.

Shelton and Finlay fight on top of the ladder but here’s Lashley with another ladder to knock the ladder with two people on it down to the mat. Now Lashley goes up but Van Dam comes off the top rope and dropkicks a chair into Lashley’s back to break up the climb. Matt, ever the bright guy, goes up top on the ladder but drops a leg instead of going for the case. Matt goes up and gets his hand on the ladder, only to have Finlay make a save. Hardy takes Finlay down with a Side Effect off the ladder to put everyone down.

Van Dam, also not the brightest guy in the world, comes off the ladder with a splash on Finlay, leaving everyone down again. In the spot of the match, Van Dam goes for a climb but Shelton springboards off the top rope and lands on the ladder to punch Rob down. That looked AWESOME but he has to stop Matt instead of getting the briefcase. Matt and Shelton’s ladder fall down though and it’s Van Dam pulling down the case to win the match and the title shot.

Rating: B. Shelton’s spot was INSANE but this match was a bit too short. Also the match wasn’t as big with the spots as it was last year but the spots that were big certainly did look good. It’s not quite as good as last year, but it still lived up to the hype. A better roster would have helped this one too, as Finlay didn’t fit in a match like this and Flair didn’t exactly either.

Randy Orton interrupts Gene Okerlund and insults the idea of Okerlund being inducted into the Hall of Fame. Gene isn’t impressed and says he’ll be in the Hall of Fame one day because of nights like tonight. Batista, still injured at this point, comes up and says he’s coming for the winner of the triple threat tonight. Batista vs. Orton was the match that never got to have on the big stage they wanted to.

Here’s the Hal of Fame (minus Bret because pigs haven’t grown wings yet): Okerlund, Sherri Martel, Tony Atlas, Verne Gagne, William Perry (in barely fitting street clothes), The Blackjacks (with a drool inducing Maria) and the co-headliner, Eddie Guerrero (biggest ovation and accepted by Vickie).

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

JBL is challenging and takes over with a quick headlock. Benoit comes back with a drop toehold but can’t get the Crossface this early. Back to the headlock by JBL but Benoit gets his back and pounds on the challenger’s neck. The Sharpshooter is broken up very quickly and Jibbles heads to the floor. Back in and Benoit avoids a charge in the corner and lays out Bradshaw with the Rolling Germans. The champion loads up the Swan Dive but JBL crotches him to escape.

JBL cranks up the heel by doing Eddie’s chest slap. A superplex puts Benoit down but only gets a very delayed two. There’s the Eddie dance and JBL hits Three Amigos to HUGE heat. Benoit knees his way out of the third Amigo and pounds away, only to get kicked in the face for two. Off to a lame chinlock (his hands aren’t even locked) by JBL but Benoit suplexes his way out. Now Chris hits Three Amigos to a solid ovation before doing the chest slap. Now the Swan Dive hits for two and Benoit counters the Clothesline into a Crossface attempt, but JBL rolls onto his back and grabs the rope for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. Just like the opener this was pretty meh but JBL was an awesome heel here. The part of this that sticks in my mind though is Benoit hitting that headbutt. After it hit he was grabbing his skull and was clearly in pain. Every time I see him hit something like that I cringe a little bit more and wonder if that was the point of no return.

We recap Foley vs. Edge. Edge cashed in MITB at New Year’s Revolution and Mick was guest referee for the title change for no apparent reason. Foley got beaten up as Edge accused Foley of losing his edge so to speak.

Joey Styles jumps in on commentary for the next match.

Mick Foley vs. Edge

This is a hardcore match and DEAR GOODNESS I forgot how hot Lita looked in this match. Edge comes out in a vest with a ball bat but Foley comes out in…..gray flannel? There’s a Cactus shirt under it but I didn’t come to Wrestlemania to see Foley in GRAY flannel. Edge swings with the bat but only hits buckle. Foley slams him into the mat and puts Edge upside down in the Tree of Woe for the running fist to the face.

Edge comes back with a forearm and tells Lita to send him something. We get various flat metal objects like cookie sheets and stop signs which are smashed against Foley’s head. Edge loses the vest and hits the spear before falling to the side and writhing in pain. Foley opens up the flannel and reveals a ring of barbed wire wrapped around his stomach and A RED FLANNEL SHIRT! Edge’s arm is hacked open so Foley whips him with the barbed wire and drives it into the arm cut.

Edge is tied up in the ropes and Foley pulls out a barbed wire ball bat. Lita tries to interfere but a Cactus Clothesline to Edge puts all three on the floor. A swinging neckbreaker on the floor gets two for Foley but as he charges at Edge he gets hiptossed into the steps, leg first. Edge whips Foley HARD into the steps, destroying the knees even further. Mick is put on a table on the floor but rolls off before Edge can dive. Edge slams Mick’s head into the steel ramp for two and another sick thud.

Back inside the ring they go and Edge covers Foley with lighter fluid. Well that’s certainly stepping things up. A piledriver out of nowhere gets two for Foley and he loads up the Conchairto, only to have Lita make a save. Edge hits a DDT “onto” the chair before getting the barbed wire bat for some midsection shots. There’s a shot to the face for good measure and Foley is busted open. Edge gets in some psychology by ripping the barbed wire of Foley’s forehead like Foley did to HHH in 2000.

Since nothing else has worked, Edge busts out the thumbtacks. Foley blocks a facial damaging bulldog with a belly to back suplex into the tacks to send Edge into shock. It’s Socko time but Foley wraps it in barbed wire for good measure. Foley gets in a barbed wire bat shot to Edge’s ribs and one to the head as well, cutting his head open something fierce. Now Foley gets the lighter fluid to cover the table, but Lita slows him down with a bat shot to the ribs. The table is lit and Edge SPEARS FOLEY THROUGH THE ROPES AND THE FLAMING TABLE for the pin.

Rating: A. Oh yeah this worked. This was about blood and violence which is something you never get anymore. It helped that you had Foley and Edge out there, as in guys that knew how to wrestle a match and make a wrestling crowd care. That’s the difference between this and ECW: this was well built and about emotion and hatred instead of a freak show. Also it’s ONCE, not every match on the card.

The look of shock on Edge’s face as he goes to the back is amazing.

Booker and Sharmell want to know why Boogeyman wants them. They go to the ring for their match and see Pirate Paul Burchill practicing his sword play. Then it’s DiBiase offering Eugene money for dribbling a ball 100 times in a row, only to kick it away at 99. Snitsky is licking Mae Young’s foot with Moolah watching.

Goldust is dressed like Oprah (they used to be partners remember) and is apparently the leader of this group of freaks. He tells Booker to embrace his inner freak or he can’t beat the Boogeyman tonight. Goldust suggests putting worms somewhere and Booker freaks out. Booker and Sharmell leave and unfortunately there’s no Wrestlemania dance party.

Backlash ad. Hey I was there.

Some celebrities are here.

Booker T/Sharmell vs. Boogeyman

The idea here is that Booker and Sharmell are terrified. Booker makes Sharmell start but jumps Boogeyman to get things going. There’s a bunch of smoke in the arena from Boogeyman’s entrance and you can barely see anything. Boogeyman starts no selling stuff including the Book End which doesn’t even get a cover. The ax kick misses and a forearm puts Booker down. Boogey eats a big handful of worms but Sharmell picks up his staff. She tries to sneak up on him but SCREAMS to make sure Boogey hears her. A wormy kiss sends Sharmell running and the chokebomb ends Booker for the pin.

Rating: F. Do I really need to explain this? Booker would somehow be world champion in four months. I don’t get the idea behind Boogeyman and it never worked at all. This match didn’t need to be a handicap match either as Sharmell didn’t add a thing to the entire match. The stupid smoke was annoying too.

We recap Trish vs. Mickie. Mickie showed up as the psycho (and HOT) Trish stalker/lesbian luster. Trish turned her down so Mickie snapped and kicked her in the head. Mickie then kidnapped Trish’s friend Ashley and laid out Trish as she tried to save Ashley. Mickie kissed the unconscious Trish, sending 12 year olds everywhere into a frenzy.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James

Mickie is challenging and has those awesome skirts that go all over the place. Trish is looking great too with the usual attire but showing her stomach as well. Trish is all aggressive here and chops Mickie down into the splits. They head to the floor but the Chick Kick hits the post. Mickie wraps the leg around the post and is still looking very psycho. Back in and a dropkick to the knee takes Trish down again, as does a dragon screw leg whip for two.

The fans chant for Mickie and I can’t say I blame them. Mickie wraps the leg around the ropes before driving it down into the mat for good measure. Off to a half crab followed by a knee crank but Trish power up and hooks a spinning headscissors to put James down. Trish comes back with the forearms and a spinebuster of all things for two. Trish’s corner splash hits feet but as Mickie goes up, Stratus tries the Stratusphere but gets slammed down for a sexy two. A rana is countered into a powerbomb for two and Trish is TICKED.

Trish tries the Matrish but the knee gives out. Instead she tries Stratusfaction but Mickie gropes Trish’s crotch to break it up. It’s exactly what it sounds like. Mickie licks her fingers so Trish DRILLS HER with a forearm. Trish keeps firing away but the knee gives out, and then the match falls off the rails. Mickie tries the Stratusfaction but COMPLETELY misses the rope, making it almost look like a botched atomic drop by Trish. Instead Mickie hits a lame Chick Kick to end Trish’s reign. JR sums it up perfectly: “The nutjob won the title!”

Rating: B-. This was one of the best Divas matches ever but the ending cripples it. The idea here was that it wasn’t a women’s match but rather a match featuring women in it. These two were beating each other up and Trish had real emotion out there. Mickie was PERFECT for this character and you really felt like she had a screw loose. The sexuality was there but it wasn’t the focus which is nice for a change. It’s nice to see a real story and a real fight between two people who happen to be gorgeous women. Good stuff here.

Vince leads his family in a prayer before his match with Shawn. Vince: “God, I don’t like you and you don’t like me.” That’s where it starts and I think you get the idea.

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

This is a casket match and WAY before Henry got awesome. Druids bring out the casket surrounded by torches. Basically Henry has beaten up Undertaker and isn’t scared of the dark. No one on the planet thought Henry had a chance here. I’d bet even his mama didn’t. Henry pounds away to start and no sells a few clotheslines before running Taker over. They trade shots into the steps with Henry taking control before heading back inside. Back in and Henry chokes Undertaker down like he’s not even there.

Taker fights back but has Old School broken up with ease. The casket is opened but Taker kicked his way to safety. The Dead Man gets back to his feet and manages to hit Old School this time but it doesn’t drop Henry. A Downward Spiral is easily blocked and Henry controls again by choking on the ropes. Henry misses a charge though and lands in the casket, only to pull Taker down in with him.

They fight out of the casket and head back into the ring where Taker charges into the World’s Strongest Slam but Henry covers on instinct instead of carrying Taker to the casket. Henry makes the incredibly stupid yet eternally made mistake of pounding down on Taker in the corner, only to be powerbombed out of the corner. Mark is knocked out to the floor where Taker hits hit HUGE Taker Dive to put Henry down again. Back in and there’s the Tombstone, allowing Taker to put Henry in the casket to win.

Rating: D+. It’s Mark Henry and this is long before the career resurgence he had in 2011. There was never any doubt that Taker would win his signature match against a guy who just wasn’t on his level. Not a good Mania match here for Taker, but he would win the world title at the next two editions so he would be ok soon.

We recap Vince vs. Shawn. Back in December, Vince had been talking about Montreal again and Shawn finally said let it go before nearly superkicking Vince. This led to Vince basically declaring war on Shawn, eventually leading to a street fight here tonight.

Vince McMahon vs. Shawn Michaels

Oh wait actually this is no holds barred rather than a street fight because they’re such different things. Before the match Vince unveils a poster version of his cover of Muscle and Fitness magazine, which is indeed pretty impressive. Shawn will have none of this though and goes after the boss, pounding away at him and throwing him over the announce table for good measure. Vince gets choked out with a cable as the commentators lose their equipment.

Shawn cracks Vince over the head with his poster and here’s the Spirit Squad to try to save Vince. They’re five cheerleaders (one of them being Dolph Ziggler) who beat up Shawn with their five man lifting slam, but Kenny misses a guillotine legdrop. Shawn gets their megaphone and beats all of them up while Vince is getting a breather. The breather allows Vince to get in a clothesline and take over for a bit.

McMahon rips off his own belt to whip and choke Shawn but his attempt at Sweet Chin Music is easily blocked. The forearm puts Vince down and there’s a whipping for Vince. There’s the top rope elbow but as Shawn tunes up the band, here’s Shane to blast him with a kendo stick. Shane pulls out handcuffs but before they tie Shawn up, Vince takes down his pants. Yeah they’re doing this at Wrestlemania. Shane tries to send Shawn’s face in but Michaels reverses and we get a very disturbing father/son bonding moment.

Shawn hits Vince low and handcuffs Shane to the ropes. After throwing the key into the crowd and doing Shane’s dance, Shawn pounds him with the kendo stick and pulls out a chair. A BIG chair shot cracks Vince’s head open even more than it already was. Instead of kicking Vince’s head off though, Shawn pulls out a ladder. After ramming that into Vince’s head too, Shawn pulls out some trashcans to beat on Vince with as well.

There’s a table thrown in too and this can’t end well. Vince is placed on the table but Shawn isn’t pleased with the ladder he’s got. Instead he gets the jumbo ladder and puts the trashcan over Vince’s head. Shawn climbs the jumbo ladder and drops the BIGGEST ELBOW EVER through Vince through the table. The Sweet Chin Music is the icing on the carnage and it’s finally over.

Rating: C+. This is a hard one to grade as it’s really closer to a long segment than a match. Shawn DESTROYED Vince here and that’s what the whole thing was supposed to be. Unfortunately this feud would keep going for about six more months with DX reuniting to fight Vince and all his cronies. Still though, it was certainly entertaining and that’s all it was supposed to be.

Vince is wheeled out on a stretcher but still manages to flip off Shawn. That’s so Vince.

Wrestlemania 23 is coming to Detroit.

We recap the Smackdown World Title match, or the Eddie Guerrero Tribute match. You can call it either thing really as they’re the same thing. Guerrero died five months ago and Rey dedicated his Royal Rumble performance to Eddie, so of course he won. Randy Orton told Rey that Eddie was burning, which was enough to get Rey to put his title shot on the line at No Way Out.

Rey lost, but Teddy Long made it a triple threat with Rey involved, even though Rey lost a fair bet to Orton. This gets the music video, set to I Dare You by Shinedown. Oh and Kurt Angle is world champion coming into this and couldn’t be more of an afterthought. He was in Wrestling Machine mode at this point though and was completely made of awesome.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton

P.O.D. plays Rey to the ring. Rey comes out in some freaky looking eagle headdress which I guess is a Mexican thing. During Angle’s entrance, Orton grabs the belt from the referee and blasts Kurt in the face to send him to the floor. Rey tries a springboard cross body but Orton dropkicks him out of the air for two. Angle is back in now for a German suplex on Orton before suplexing BOTH GUYS AT ONCE. Angle is amazing, period.

Orton hits his backbreaker on Angle for two of his own as this is very fast paced to start. A belly to belly puts Orton down and Kurt puts Randy on the top for something, but Rey charges at Angle to break it up. Angle instead launches Rey up at Randy who is taken down in a SWEET hurricanrana by the masked dude. The ankle lock to Orton is quickly broken up by Rey and a big kick to Kurt’s head gets two. The fans chant for the 619 but as Rey loads it up, Kurt grabs the legs into the ankle lock with the grapevine.

Orton distracts the referee as Rey taps before finally breaking up the hold. Angle starts busting out the Germans and an Angle Slam puts Rey on the floor. The ankle lock goes on Randy and there’s a grapevine for good measure. Orton taps but now Rey pulls the referee out and covers his eyes in a pretty brilliant move. Back to the ankle lock but Rey drops the dime on Angle to break it up. The fans are booing Rey for some reason.

Mysterio misses a charge into the corner and slams his shoulder into the corner. The Angle Slam to Orton is countered into an RKO but since this is Wrestlemania it only gets two. Randy limps to the top rope for some reason and you just don’t do that with Kurt Angle in the ring. There’s the running up the corner suplex but Rey tries the 619 around the post. I say try because he slips off the apron and has to just kick Angle in the head for two.

Angle is kicked to the floor and there’s an over the shoulder backbreaker into a neckbreaker for two on Rey. I love that move. Randy loads up the RKO but gets Angle Slammed for two for Kurt. The Angle Slam to Rey is escaped and an armdrag sends Angle to the floor. The 619 and West Coast Pop to Orton give Mysterio the title.

Rating: C-. Uh…..what? No seriously, where’s the rest of this match? The Smackdown World Title match with a new champion gets less than nine and a half minutes at Wrestlemania? It was entertaining while it lasted, but there are Smackdown main events that get twice the amount of time this got. Was Rey ever even in trouble in this match? I’m guessing the match got cut short, but we had nearly 20 minutes for Vince to get beaten up? This is a head scratcher if there’s ever been one.

Chavo and Vickie celebrate with Rey.

Cena and HHH are getting ready in the back.

Candace Michelle vs. Torrie Wilson

This is your Playboy match of the year. Lillian screwing up the hometowns is the most entertaining thing about this match. They’re in their underwear and this is a pillow fight. Torrie coming out to what would become Laycool’s music is rather odd. What do you want here? There’s a bed in the ring, stuff is turned over, Torrie wins after like FOUR MINUTES. Remember that: this got four minutes, the Smackdown World Title got nine.

Rating: F. Were you expecting more here? Next.

Video on the Wrestlemania press conference.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. John Cena

HHH, known as the King of Kings, is in what can best be described as viking attire and rises up out of the stage on a throne. He had Thor’s hammer next to him and a bottle of water in his hand which doesn’t quite fit. Before Cena comes out we get a newsreel about Chicago in the Great Depression. The stage raises up and a car from the 30s drives out, complete with machine gun toting gangsters (one of which was played by future WWE Champion and Cena rival CM Punk who we’ll get back to later).

Cena comes out in a fedora and the shorts shooting a Tommy gun. After the big match intros (the announcer introducing them when they’re in opposite corners) we’re ready to go. HHH grabs a quick hammerlock and takes Cena down to frustrate him a bit. Cena gets caught in a wristlock and sent into the corner again as the fans tell Cena that he sucks. All HHH so far. With nothing else working, Cena tries a quick FU but gets punched in the face. After about four minutes of nothing significant, Cena is thrown to the floor, only to come back in with right hands.

A quick fisherman’s suplex gets two for Cena and it’s off to a chinlock by the champ. The fans tell Cena that he can’t wrestle and HHH fights up. A hard whip sends HHH over the corner and out to the floor but he pokes Cena in the eye to break Cena’s momentum. HHH can’t piledrive Cena on the floor though and gets backdropped onto the steel instead. Back in and HHH hits the jumping knee to the face to a big reaction.

Back to the floor we go and Cena is whipped hard into the steps. They head inside again for a facebuster from the challenger and a big old clothesline for two. A neckbreaker gets the same as the fans alternate between “screw you Cena” and “Cena sucks.” Off to a neck crank by the Game which is transitioned into a sleeper and then a chinlock. The champ shoves him off and hits a clothesline to put both guys down again. Back up and Cena fires off some more clotheslines followed by a powerslam for no cover.

The spinning mat slam puts HHH down but the Game pops up for a spinebuster to block the Shuffle. Back to the sleeper but Cena almost immediately suplexes his way out of it. Now the Shuffle hits and there’s Cena’s new submission hold the STFU. HHH grabs a rope but Cena is in the zone now. The FU is countered but Cena is shoved into the referee.

HHH hits both of them low and gets the sledgehammer which goes upside Cena’s head. Since this is Wrestlemania though it only gets two instead of putting Cena in need of perpetual care. Back up and HHH charges into the FU for two so Cena goes up top. A cross body misses and HHH tries the Pedigree, only to be countered into the STF. With nowhere else to go, HHH taps out and keeps the title on Cena.

Rating: B-. This is one of the recurring problems with HHH matches: when he tries to have a big epic match it rarely works. Cena got a solid rub out of beating him here but at the same time the match wasn’t all that great. It felt like a way to make Cena a big deal rather than have a match between the two of them. It also didn’t help that there was no real issue between the two of them.

A highlight package ends the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This is one of the most forgettable Wrestlemanias in history. There’s nothing of note on here, none of the matches are great other than a middle of the show hardcore match which led to some great stuff. Batista being gone hurt this show a lot as Cena wasn’t quite ready to shoulder the weight of Wrestlemania yet. It’s not horrible, but it’s totally forgettable and not required viewing at all.

Ratings Comparison

Big Show/Kane vs. Carlito/Chris Masters

Original: D+

Redo: C

Rob Van Dam vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Ric Flair vs. Finlay vs. Matt Hardy vs. Bobby Lashley

Original: B

Redo: B

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Benoit

Original: D+

Redo: C+

Edge vs. Mick Foley

Original: A

Redo: A

Boogeyman vs. Booker T/Sharmell

Original: F

Redo: F

Mickie James vs. Trish Stratus

Original: B

Redo: B-

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

Original: D

Redo: D+

Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton

Original: D+

Redo: C-

Torrie Wilson vs. Candice Michelle

Original: F

Redo: F

HHH vs. John Cena

Original: A-

Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: D+

In the first one I said it wasn’t something I’d want to see again. Apparently that was accurate as the rating PLUNGED on a second viewing.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/29/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-22-i-barely-remember-this-show/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00SATPVKW

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble 2009
Date: January 25, 2009
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 16,685
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Tazz

This isn’t so much the Royal Rumble as much as it is HHH and Randy Orton are in a match and 28 other guys happen to be in the ring too. Other than that we have Edge challenging the NEW WWE Champion Jeff Hardy and Cena defending against JBL, who has Shawn Michaels and his crisis of conscience working for him at the moment. This wasn’t the best year for WWE so let’s get to it.

No intro video this year. That’s interesting.

ECW Title: Jack Swagger vs. Matt Hardy

Swagger won the title about two weeks ago and this is Hardy’s rematch. We actually get big match intros for this, which is a rare sight for an ECW Title match. Matt takes him into the corner to start before punching Jack in the face. Striker calls that a pugilistic endeavor to sound smart. Another punch sends Swagger to the floor and we head back inside for a clothesline from Matt.

Jack heads to the floor to hide after Matt swings again. Back in and Swagger takes Hardy to the mat and cranks on the arm a bit. Hardy comes back with a dropkick in the corner and a bulldog for two, only to go up and get shoved down to the floor. Back in and Swagger starts in on the arm but Hardy quickly escapes a key lock. A punch to Hardy’s arm blocks a clothesline and a big boot gets two for the champion.

Back to the key lock as Jack stays on the arm. He lifts Hardy off the mat by the arm a few times as the fans cheer for the challenger. Matt fights back but he’s basically fighting with one arm here. A bulldog puts Jack down for two and a middle rope elbow to Swagger’s back gets the same.

Hardy walks into a belly to belly suplex from Jack for two though and both guys are down. A DDT on the arm gets two for the champion but Matt blocks a belly to back superplex. Matt hits a decent looking moonsault for two and the fans are getting into these kickouts. The Twist is countered and Jack sends Matt shoulder and possibly head first into the post. The Swagger Bomb retains the title.

Rating: B-. Better match than I was expecting here with both guys looking good out there. Matt was getting close to being something decent as a singles guy and this was his way off ECW and onto Smackdown. Swagger would go on to win a world title and shock the world in the process before falling through the floor soon after. Solid opener here.

Orton arrives and gets glared at.

Women’s Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Melina

Melina is challenging and Beth has Santino with her here. Beth shoves her around to start before easily breaking out of a headlock. A LOUD Santino chant starts up as Beth throws Melina around. Melina comes back with a shot to the head but gets shoved down immediately again. The challenger hooks an armbar of all things but Beth easily stands up while Melina stands on her shoulder.

Melina gets on Beth’s shoulders again but Beth shoves her down in a crash. A running Umaga attack in the corner puts Melina down again and Beth is in full control. In a freaky looking move, Beth grabs Melina’s leg in a kind of ankle lock position and bends the leg forward to make Melina kick herself in the back of the head. FREAKING OW MAN! Melina escapes a gorilla press and fires off some forearms before getting two off a sunset flip. Two knees into Beth’s back have her staggered and a hair drag gets two. Out of nowhere, Melina grabs a spinning rollup for the pin and the title. As sudden as it sounds.

Rating: D+. Not terrible here and the girls looked good so I can’t complain much. That leg lock thing of Beth’s was SICK and it’s one of those moves that just looks painful all around. At the end of the day though, does it matter who has either of the female belts? They’re completely interchangeable and this one was retired the next year.

We recap JBL vs. Cena, which is basically the Shawn Michaels Story. Basically the story went that Shawn was crushed by the financial crash and JBL offered to hire him to help win the title. Shawn helped JBL win a #1 contenders match and the question is will he screw over Cena tonight and compromise his morals? There was a VERY real argument to be made for Shawn vs. JBL at Mania for the title, so this wasn’t a layup. The problem with this story is still there though: Shawn is a world class wrestler with the top company in the world….and he’s broke? He may have lost his savings but he’s not unemployed.

JBL tells Shawn is he wins the title tonight, Shawn is free with a huge payday and he can be in the Rumble tonight, which at the moment he isn’t. Bradshaw leaves and Taker shows up, saying that sometimes it’s a nightmare getting to Heaven.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Cena is defending in case you skipped the previous parts. We get the big match intros here and even a weapons check for old times’ sake. Cena takes him to the mat with a headlock to start but JBL counters into one of his own. A shoulder block puts JBL down and out to the floor as we take a breather. JBL whispers something to Shawn before heading back inside for some clubbing forearms to the back.

Cena slams him down for two though and we’re still in the early stages. JBL heads to the floor again but this time Cena goes after him. He runs into Shawn though and stops cold, allowing JBL to get in a shot to take over. Shawn didn’t move at all. Back in with JBL in control and a standing clothesline gets two. Presumably that one was only from Hoboken.

Off to a chinlock from the challenger as we keep things at JBL’s slow pace. A side slam gets two on Cena and he rolls out to the apron. Layfield knocks him to the floor and then sends him into the stairs for two back inside. Cena fights out of a superplex attempt and hits the top rope Fameasser for two of his own. The champ initiates his finishing sequence with all of his usual stuff including the Shuffle. Shawn hasn’t been a factor in the first nine minutes or so of the match.

JBL escapes the AA but gets caught in the STF instead. Shawn starts grabbing the ropes but doesn’t do anything. Cena lets go of the hold anyway, allowing JBL to kick Cena to the floor. JBL’s Clothesline gets two so he glares at Shawn for some reason. A quick AA attempt misses and JBL kicks the referee down by mistake. The Johns double clothesline each other and it’s time for the big moment.

Shawn gets in the ring and is staring at both guys. Both guys get up and Shawn superkicks John. As in the challenger/him employer. He also kicks the champion/the guy he was hired to take out before leaving. Shawn puts JBL’s arm across Cena, causing the fans to chant for the champ. Another referee comes out and gets a two count for Layfield and both guys get up. Cena hits a quick AA on JBL to retain.

Rating: C-. The match itself was pretty dull but the drama worked well enough to make up for it. At the end of the day, JBL simply wasn’t good enough at this point to hang in a world title match. Cena had to tone it WAY down to let JBL keep up with him and it showed badly. Still though, Shawn more than makes up for it and would go on to have a masterpiece with Taker at Mania so all is well and good.

We recap Edge vs. Hardy. Hardy shocked the world (including me) at Armageddon by winning the title, but a few weeks later he started having a string of “accidents” including having pyro go off in his face and nearly getting killed by a crazy driver. Everyone blamed Edge but he denied responsibility. The question is who is behind all this stuff. Hardy hasn’t had a match that I know of in the meantime. I went to a house show during this period and Hardy didn’t wrestle.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Jeff Hardy

Vickie makes it No DQ for no apparent reason and Chavo is in Edge’s corner because he’s familia. Jeff spears Edge into the corner to start and pounds away as fast as he can. The fans almost immediately start chanting WE WANT CHRISTIAN. Now remember that line as I’ll get back to it later on. Christian had left TNA and word hadn’t broken yet on if he had signed with WWE yet (I don’t think). Anyway, Jeff tries to bring in a chair but Edge kicks it out of his hands before it gets inside.

Hardy pounds away but Edge gets in a shot to take over for the first time. Edge sends him to the floor but can’t hit a baseball slide, allowing Hardy to hit a clothesline off the apron. Back in and Jeff tries a springboard but gets kicked down to the floor for the third time. Edge rams him into various hard objects including tables and the barricade and then another table.

We head back inside again with Edge in full control including a spear in the corner. Jeff grabs a quick two off a sunset flip but gets clotheslined right back down. Off to a body vice by Edge to slow things down a bit. Jeff fights up and hits a mule kick before going up top, only to jump into a dropkick from Edge for two. Now Edge goes to get two chairs but Jeff spears him down off the apron before it can be brought in.

Edge gets back to the apron but gets pulled down into a Twist of Fate onto said apron, sending both guys down onto the floor. Since it’s Jeff vs. Edge, here’s a ladder. Jeff spreads Edge out on the table but Chavo climbs up to slow Jeff down. Edge moves, so Jeff hits a HUGE splash to put Chavo through the table instead. Back in and Jeff gets two off a high cross body. Edge gets up first and pulls a buckle off, only to get caught in the Whisper in the Wind for two.

Out of nowhere Edge counters the Twist into a DDT for a very close two. We’re pretty clearly in the final stages of this match which means it’s getting awesome. Edge counters the slingshot dropkick into a kind of hot shot into the exposed buckle for ANOTHER two. The spear is countered into a Twist of Fate so Jeff goes up. After kicking Vickie away, the Swanton hits but Vickie pulls the referee out. Cue Matt to send Vickie into the ring and pick up a chair. To the shock of a lot of people, Matt cracks Jeff with the chair to give Edge of all people the world title.

Rating: B. This too awhile to get going but once they hit their stride they started acting like Edge and Jeff Hardy in a big match. The No DQ stuff wasn’t needed here but it made things work a bit better. At the end of the day, these two work best when they can turn off the rules and go nuts, which is what they did here.

Now remember earlier that I mentioned Christian. He was originally supposed to be in Matt’s spot, setting up a reunion with Edge. However, WWE felt the fans figured this out so we got Matt in his place. This also happened in 2012 with Sheamus winning the Rumble instead of Jericho. Based on this theory, Shawn should have kept the title at Wrestlemania 14 because almost everyone knew that Austin was winning.

That makes no sense and I don’t get what they think this is accomplishing. It didn’t work out well for Russo and it won’t work out for the WWE. Matt vs. Jeff didn’t work at the end of the day, mainly because I don’t think people wanted to see them fight. I’ll give them this: they did come up with a logical reason for Matt to turn so it’s not a terrible idea. It just wasn’t the best option they had.

Orton says he’ll win. Jericho pops in to thank Orton for punting Vince on Monday but Randy will probably get fired for it.

Rumble by the numbers which is roughly the same as the previous year.

Royal Rumble

Mysterio is #1 and Morrison is #2. Rey kicks him in the face a few times to start but gets put on the apron for trying his sitout bulldog. A springboard cross body puts Morrison down and there’s a big headscissors to take Morrison down. John gets sent to the apron but hangs on by the top rope, even when Mysterio dropkicks him in the ribs. Carlito is #3 and is the second tag champion in here along with Morrison. Those titles would be unified at Mania.

Rey tries a standing moonsault but gets caught in a modified swinging neckbreaker instead. Carlito hits a gorgeous double jump moonsault to take Morrison down and stomping ensues. MVP, currently on a winning streak after losing forever, is #4. There’s Ballin on Morrison and a facebuster to Carlito. Rey get sent to the apron but he saves himself almost immediately.

Great Khali with the awesome dance music is #5. Everybody gets a chop and Khali poses a bit. Mysterio tries to springboard onto him and Carlito tries a Backstabber, both to no avail. Kozlov is #6 and immediately headbutts Khali out by himself. MVP misses a running kick in the corner and he’s gone too (BIG heat on Vlad for that). Carlito is gone after jumping into a spinebuster and Mysterio looks to be up next, but heeeeeeeeeere’s HHH at #7.

Since no one else can get a good match out of Kozlov, you know HHH is going to try his hand at him. They stare each other down and Kozlov hits the headbutt to take him down. The facebuster stuns Kozlov and HHH throws him out wise ease. It’s HHH, Morrison and Mysterio in there at the moment with Rey chilling in the corner. The knee to the face puts Morrison down and Orton is #8.

The battle of Evolution continues and the backbreaker puts HHH down. Both finishers are countered with Morrison breaking up the Pedigree. Rey hits a seated senton on Orton and the 619 on Morrison before JTG is in at #9. Orton tries to put Mysterio out as people start pairing off. Ted DiBiase, as in one of Orton’s lackeys, is #10. Mysterio and DiBiase immediately fight to the apron with Rey doing some gymnastics to stay alive.

Jericho is #11 and goes right for Orton. He can’t get him out so there’s a Lionsault to HHH instead. Jericho is knocked to the apron and Mike Knox is #12. Orton and DiBiase focus on JTG as Knox beats on Rey. HHH saves the masked dude for no apparent reason and Miz is #13. He goes right after JTG and hits something like the Skull Crushing Finale before going after the Game.

Morrison and Mysterio team up on Orton but John and Miz both take RKOs. There’s one for JTG but HHH hits a Pedigree to stop Randy dead. HHH dumps Miz and Morrison to prove how awesome he is and Finlay is #14. Jericho backdrops Mysterio to the floor but he lands on Morrison and hops onto Miz to get back to the ring. Finlay beats on everyone in the ring until Cody Rhodes, the other of Orton’s goons, is #15.

We currently have Mysterio, HHH, Orton, JTG, DiBiase, Jericho, Knox, Finlay and Rhodes. Legacy (the collective name of the trio) starts picking off people one at a time, starting with Finlay. They don’t actually put anyone out but they get to beat on everyone at least. Rey dives at Orton but gets caught in an RKO in a nice counter. The Undertaker is #16 and here come the punches. His only victim at this point is JTG to clear the ring out a bit.

Goldust of all people is in at #17 and immediately goes for DiBiase. Rhodes pulls his real life brother (Goldust) off so Goldie sends him to the apron a few times. That’s as far as he can get though as an RKO puts Goldust down and Rhodes gets to dump him out. Punk is #18 and happens to be the IC Champion at this point. There’s a GTS for HHH as RKO works on Y2J. Mysterio gets sent to the apron by Knox and Finlay works on Taker.

Mark Henry is #19 and throws a lot of people around but can’t get anybody out. Shelton Benjamin is #20 to fill the ring up even more. Jericho and Punk go up top for no apparent reason other than for Shelton to charge the corner and hit a kind of double DDT to bring them both back down. Billy Regal is #21 and goes right for Punk, who beat him for the IC Title a week or so again.

Mysterio dumps Henry off camera to thankfully get someone out of the ring. HHH is upside down in the corner but he winds up sitting on the apron. Here’s Kofi at #22 to speed things up as well as he can with so many people around him. Taker dumps Benjamin and Kane is #23. After beating up a few people he stares his brother down before they start working together to chokeslam some people.

Punk pulls Regal out and brags about it without getting thrown out. R-Truth is #24 and nothing happens. Rob Van Dam makes a one night only return at #25 after not having been seen in the WWE in about a year and a half. That at least wakes the crowd up but there are too many people in there for his style of stuff to work. He loads up the Five Star but Truth is too close so he has to bail out in mid air.

The Brian Kendrick is #26 back when he was actually a big deal. To show how big he is, he manages to dump Kofi and get thrown out by HHH in about fifteen seconds. Dolph Ziggler gets lucky #27 but only lasts about six seconds longer than Kendrick with Kane getting the point. Your future World Heavyweight Champion ladies and gentlemen. Santino is #28 and breaks Warlord’s record of two seconds in the Rumble by being clotheslined out by Kane before he can even stand up straight.

Jim Duggan makes his token Rumble appearance at #29 and he punches everything in sight, including knocking the Dead Man down. Big Show is #30, giving us a final group of Mysterio, HHH, Orton, DiBiase, Jericho, Knox, Finlay, Rhodes, Undertaker, Punk, Kane, R-Truth, RVD, Duggan and Big Show, or half the field in the entire match. Nearly everyone goes after him at once but it’s Duggan that gets tossed instead.

Jericho tries to put a sleeper on Show but it gets about as far as you would expect. Taker throws Punk to the apron as Show dumps Truth. Punk fires off some kicks and hangs on three times so Show finally knocks him out cold and out to the floor. Show knocks out Knox and Mysterio as Horny gets in for no apparent reason. Finlay tries to save him and gets dumped for his efforts at good parenting.

Jericho hits a Codebreaker on Kane and Orton hits the Elevated DDT on HHH. Taker and Show have their required staredown and RVD hits the Five Star on Orton. Jericho comes up behind Van Dam to dump him while Rob holds his ribs. Chris turns around and sees Taker who tosses him with glee. Legacy teams up to put Kane out and we’re down to Taker, Big Show, HHH and Legacy.

The trio surrounds Undertaker as HHH gets chokeslammed. Taker does the same to most of Legacy so the giants punch each other a lot until Show gets knocked to the apron and hangs on with his feet flying off the apron. THAT was cool. Not that it matters anyway as he gets RKO’ed out a few moments later but it still looked good. Show pulls Taker to the floor a minute later because that’s how he rolls.

So as people expected at the time, it’s HHH vs. Legacy for the Rumble. Taker and Show fight into the crowd for no apparent reason. HHH goes after Rhodes first but the numbers catch up with him. He gets beaten down and Orton says pick him up. The RKO is countered though and HHH sends Orton to the apron. There goes DiBiase and Rhodes follows, but Orton sneaks up on HHH and throws him out to win the Rumble.

Rating: D. This was one of the weaker Rumbles there’s ever been. For one thing, it was clear that Orton was going to win no matter what happened. Second and probably more important, they got caught in the classic Rumble trap of having WAY too many people in there at once. They didn’t even try the three act structure here and it showed badly. That’s something Pat Patterson was absolutely amazing at and he was gone by this point.

Overall Rating: C-. It’s clear that the company was in a transitional period here and that makes this a hard one to get through. There’s enough good stuff here to check it out, but it’s nothing worth going out of your way to see. The only really solid match is Edge vs. Hardy and even that is nothing really worth seeing. This is a rare instance where the Rumble didn’t dictate how the show went as the rest of it is a far easier sit than the Rumble itself.

Ratings Comparison

Jack Swagger vs. Matt Hardy

Original: B

Redo: B-

Melina vs. Beth Phoenix

Original: C-

Redo: D+

John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Original: C

Redo: C-

Edge vs. Jeff Hardy

Original: B-

Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: D

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: B+

Redo: C-

So let me get this straight: every match is literally within a single grade of the original but the original is nearly two grades higher? Dang I was REALLY feeling generous that day. A show with an hour long match that gets a D doesn’t sound like a B+ overall to me.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/28/royal-rumble-count-up-2009-the-voices-tell-me-no-one-but-orton-has-a-chance/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00SATPVKW

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Time for one of those tag teams that dominated the company in a bad stretch: La Resistance.

There were three members of La Resistance at one point or another: Sylvain Grenier, Renee Dupree and Rob Conway. We’ll be looking at any combination of the three.

The original incarnation, which was also the most frequent pairing, was Grenier and Dupree. Here’s one of their first matches, from Judgment Day 2003.

Test/Scott Steiner vs. La Resistance

And you get to pay to see it! Test is a heel here while Steiner is all about AMERICA! La Resistance looks rather stupid but whatever. The French guys say they’re innocent in all this and that the American government promotes hatred. I’ll spare you all a long political rant here. Stacy likes Steiner but Test is insanely jealous. This of course would turn into Steiner “winning” her and turning heel.

Test and Dupree start us off and they slap it out while Rene dances. Resistance is Rene Dupree and Sylvan Grenier if the names are confusing you. Off to Steiner and it’s incredibly telling to see how far he’s fallen since having the world title match at the Rumble. Steiner uses the power of AMERICA to take over. Grenier is sent to the floor but Steiner walks into a hot shot to shift the momentum.

Double suplex gets two on Steiner and we hit the chinlock. Middle rope clothesline gets two for Grenier and it’s off to Dupree. He comes off the top and jumps into a T–Bone suplex and both guys are down. Off to Test again and some rooms are cleaned. Pumphandle doesn’t work but the full nelson slam gets two. Steiner gets sent into the barrier and Test steals a beret.

Grenier gets two with feet on the ropes and it’s a double team. Steiner is back in now and here comes the pumphandle from Test. The slam hits and there’s no referee. Grenier gets a dropkick which knocks Test into Stacy who is caught by Steiner. Rollup gets two for Grenier and Steiner makes a blind tag. Downward spiral gets no cover as Test accidently kicks Scott’s head off. A double spinebuster beats Steiner.

Rating: D. Why in the world is this, ANOTHER TV match on PPV? This is one of those matches that went nowhere as the people didn’t care in the slightest and everyone knew it. The French guys were the tag team of note for a few years and then they just went away and no one really cared. Weak match, as expected.

The team would go after the Raw Tag Team Titles after this, including a match at Insurrextion 2003.

Raw Tag Titles: La Resistance vs. Kane/Rob Van Dam

Grenier and Dupree here. Standard anti-whatever country we’re in promo from the French dudes. Dupree and RVD start us off. Van Dam destroys both guys before bringing in Kane. Double teaming works to a degree but Renee tries his dance thing and gets punched in the face for his troubles. Big RVD chant. Ah there’s your double teaming to give the heels the advantage.

The fans shout about hating Frenchies (their words not mine) as Van Dam is in trouble. Van Dam gets an enziguri to the shoulder which if you don’t know the meaning, translates to a head kick to the arm. Kane comes in to clean a few rooms as he doesn’t do enough to classify it as house. Everything goes insane and RVD gets crotched on the top rope. Double chokeslam sets up a Five Star from RVD who is just fine apparently. Does weed give you magically healing balls or something like that? Apparently so as he was fine seconds later.

Rating: D+. Just another boring match here as they never got going. It once again felt like nothing more than a long Raw match which is never a good thing. You would think this is just a random squash but the titles changed hands at Bad Blood in 8 days. Wow this division was horrid.

Time for the American rematch at Bad Blood 2003.

Raw Tag Titles: La Resistance vs. RVD/Kane

You can more or less see the ending from here. The heels are Sylvan Grenier and Rene Dupree in case you didn’t know. To my complete lack of shock and dismay, this is nothing that couldn’t be on Raw. I mean there is nothing to note here at all. This could be at any house show or Raw but on PPV? Really? The heels are both on the floor and Van Dam dives, naturally hitting all three of them. A double flapjack ends this. It couldn’t have come faster.

Rating: D+. Again, WHY IS THIS ON PPV? That’s the problem with the whole first hour here. I could see an argument for the two title matches, but seriously, none of this has been PPV quality. The matches are ok, but that’s the problem: they’re just ok. Nothing at all here is making me want to watch this show at all and it’s never something I’m going to watch again. I just want to get to the end of this show and forget about it.

Here’s a slightly bigger stage: a title defense at Summerslam 2003.

Raw Tag Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. La Resistance

The Dudleyz are challenging and the EVIL foreigners are Rene Dupree and Sylvain Grenier. Bubba of course comes out with an American flag to hammer in the face status. The whole patriotism thing was a big deal in this feud as the third member of La Resistance, an American named Rob Conway, pretended to be a soldier to sneak up on the Dudleyz. It’s a brawl to start in the aisle with the challengers in full control.

D-Von chokes Dupree with the robe to start before armbarring Grenier down. A slam and a legdrop gets two on Sylvain and it’s off to Bubba for the power brawling. He puts Grenier in the Tree of Woe and stands on his crotch to make the French guy scream. The Dudleys clear the ring but Grenier gets in a cheap shot to give the champions control on Bubba. A double shoulder puts Bubba down for two as the USA chant starts up.

Back to Dupree for a bearhug, which isn’t often a move you see on a fat man like Bubba. Some headbutts break up hold but Bubba walks into a spinebuster for two. Bubba punches his way over to the hot tag (four minutes into the match) and D-Von cleans house. A rollup gets two on Grenier as everything breaks down. D-Von walks into a double spinebuster for two but it’s What’s Up to Dupree. The 3D lays out Dupree but Grenier makes save. Now a cameraman lays out D-Von with a camera to the head to retain the titles. It’s Rob Conway of course.

Rating: D+. That’s a pretty lame choice for an opener. Not only did the fans not get what they wanted but the match sucked as well. This was a dark time for the tag team division and there was no reason at all for there to be two sets of titles at this point. At the end of the day there wasn’t nearly enough depth and it made for lame matches like this. The Dudleys would get the belts next month.

Here are all three members (plus some partners) on Raw, September 8, 2003.

La Resistance/Rob Conway/Rodney Mack/Mark Henry vs. Dudley Boys/Hurricane/Rosey

Oh I’m SURE this isn’t going to get all messy. The good guys clean house and Spike is launched onto La Resistance (the tag champions at this point). Hurricane throws in a dive of his own and it’s table time less than a minute into this shindig. They’re only set up on the floor though as we finally start with Rosey and Dupree. The fat man (Rosey) misses a charge but clotheslines Conway and Dupree down with ease because he’s fat.

Off to Spike for his double stomp on Conway but since Spike is the anti-Rosey, Conway gets the tag off to Henry. Picture any match of Henry crushing someone smaller than him for about a minute and you have what you’re getting here. Mark misses a charge and Spike picks….Hurricane for the hot tag? You’re Spike Dudley and you pick the freaking HURRICANE to fight Mark Henry? Conway is brought in as Henry is down on the floor, likely out for months with an injury. Everything breaks down and Conway walks into the 3D for two via a save from Mack as Henry comes back in and powerslams Bubba for the pin.

Rating: D. Yep it was a mess. It amazes me that they’re so strapped for time that they have an 18 minute talking segment and then they have to put ten guys in one match to get them all on TV for that week. There’s nothing here to see other than another quick match tonight with way too many people in one match.

Now we have all three defending the titles at Unforgiven 2003.

Raw Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. La Resistance

This is a handicap elimination tables match as La Resistance have Sylvan Grenier, Rob Conway and Rene Dupree. This was supposed to be a 6 man but the heels botched a table spot on Spike on Raw where the threw him over the top and missed the table entirely other than the back of Spike’s head smacking into the table in a SICK looking spot. And we have tags in a tables match. Sure why not?

You can tell this is a long time ago as they’re only 16 time tag champions here. Sweet goodness that’s ridiculous sounding. D-Von and Grenier, who is by far the worst of the three, start us off. And now it’s Conway. Thank you for wasting our time like that. He’s an American that is a French sympathizer. We get the eternal question of why do the French love Jerry Lewis movies. That’s a great question and I’ve yet to get an answer to it.

For a tables match there is a severe lack of tables in it so far. It’s just a handicap match with the Dudleys being way ahead. The double neckbreaker hits and so does What’s Up. Still no tables. There are no disqualifications in this, yet they have to tag. I’ll never get that. Ah here we go. D-Von gets sent through so it’s only Bubba left. They’re not eliminated though. Bubba is WAY over here which is odd to an extent. There are a ton of tables here.

Bubba, from his knees, slaps the tar out of Sylvan’s chest. That sounded GREAT. He goes through the table so it’s 2-1 I guess you could say. Wait…are they eliminated? Oh does it really matter? Well there’s D-Von and the referee is fine with it so I’m thinking no. Wait it’s No DQ so it doesn’t matter if they’re eliminated or not.

Conway goes through it and in nearly the same spot he hurt Spike in, he hits HIS head on the table. FREAKING OW! It’s Bubba vs. Dupree here more or less and since it’s both Dudleys vs. him, what do you expect? Actually Rene wins for the most part and gets to set up a table. He’s 19 here but walks into 3D to give the Dudleys the belts.

Rating: D+. Well this wasn’t that bad but it could have been on Raw. Well maybe not as it actually got over ten minutes. This wasn’t anything special but it made the Dudleys look strong here which is the right idea. It’s nothing special but it’s fine for what it was supposed to be so I can’t complain that much.

Conway and Dupree had a shot at the Raw Tag Team Titles at Wrestlemania XX.

Raw Tag Titles: La Resistance vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak vs. Booker T/Rob Van Dam

Booker and RVD are defending and this is one fall to a finish. Booker has an AWFUL remix of his song here so hopefully they drop the belts so we don’t have to hear it again. Van Dam and Dupree get us going with Rob monkey flipping him down. Booker comes in with a side kick for two and a hip toss for an interfering Conway. Rene is knocked into the Dudley corner for a tag off to Bubba with the Dudley getting two off a neckbreaker. Booker comes back with a side kick but D-Von tags himself in before the cover. RVD jumps in with a kick to the face of D-Von but there was no tag so it’s Jindrak vs. Booker instead.

Cade and Jindrak take over on Booker in the corner but Rene steals a tag to take over. This match needs to end already. We’re four minutes in and I’m already bored. Conway hooks a bow and arrow hold which goes on WAY longer than needed. Booker fights out with a spinebuster for no cover but it’s not hot tag to RVD. Everything breaks down but D-Von breaks up the Five Star. It’s Booker vs. D-Von but Cade breaks up 3D. The scissors kick and Five Star are enough to pin Conway and retain the titles.

Rating: D. Sacre bleu what a waste of my time. No one card about this match because the tag division was so dead at this point that almost every team was just thrown together. Since this is Wrestlemania though, there’s ANOTHER four way tag match later tonight. Nothing to see here and the match sucked on all levels. Let’s get on to ANYTHING else.

Finally some new challengers at Backlash 2004.

La Resistance vs. Hurricane/Rosey

This is what we call a filler match to bring the crowd back down. It isn’t even for a title. Conway and Hurricane start and the crowd goes almost completely silent. A headscissors takes Conway down and it’s off to Rosey. That’s really only so he can throw at Conway and it’s back to the storm guy.

Conway hits a swinging neckbreaker and powerslam before tagging in Grenier. Grenier puts on a powerslam and here’s Eugene. Hurricane tags Rosey as Eugene plays with the flags. Rosey misses a corner splash but Hurricane dives on both French dudes on the floor. Eugene runs the ropes but does nothing else. Eye of the Huricane gets the pin on Grenier.

Rating: D+. The match could have and probably should have been on Raw, but dang I always feel sorry for the people in this match. They know no one is really interested in seeing them out there but they have to go out and work a match anyway, which no one wants to see and that no one is going to talk about, but they do it anyway. This was fine and Eugene didn’t add or subtract anything.

And some better ones at Bad Blood 2004.

Raw Tag Titles: La Resistance vs. Edge/Chris Benoit

Dupree is now replaced by Rob Conway. King is wearing a purple jacket. You can tell it’s a slow night as Benoit is pulling a double shift tonight. Good night Lillian looks amazing in blue. So we have two Canadians vs. a team from French Canada. Why must we always have Canadian on Canadian violence? Edge and Sylvan start us off.

The talent and championship differences amaze me here. Benoit gets a great pop coming in. This is the rematch from when Edge and Benoit lost the titles to the French guys after beating Evolution for them. DANG Benoit could chop like there was no tomorrow. Naturally the heels take over to prevent the fans from thinking we were doing anything other than the standard tag team formula. We talk about John Glenn for no apparent reason. Oh he’s from Columbus. That makes sense at least.

They’re keeping Benoit out which makes sense as you have to let him save up strength. Edge gets an AWESOME counter to a double suplex as he lands on his feet and hits a double neckbreaker. That was freaking sweet. Benoit gets the Sharpshooter but it’s broken up at the last minute. Benoit now gets the Crossface on Grenier and holds it for about 40 seconds without the tap.

Great way to plug the move there guys. Kane comes out for the DQ though which at least makes sense here. He chokeslams Benoit and I want to break that bell guy. Kane vs. Benoit sounds really good actually. Into the stairs goes the champion as Kane leaves.

Rating: C+. I like Benoit and Edge so this worked fine for me. It also tied into the main match later on so there’s some continuity there which is always a good thing. This was a nice little refresher to set up for later in the show, but it also shows that the rosters can’t manage to do a whole show by themselves. Also, there was no way the titles were changing here so there was no drama. Still though, not bad at all.

Now for some random ones at Vengeance 2004.

Raw Tag Titles: La Resistance vs. Eugene/Ric Flair

Take a guess as to who the champions are here. On a random note, Lillian in Go-Go Boots is AWESOME. Flair’s music cuts off the French national anthem to a huge cheer. The look on Flair’s face when he looks at Eugene is hilarious. Eugene and Conway start us off and the Kentucky guy struts. These two were a team in OVW called the Lords of the Ring who won like 10 tag titles there. He starts using a bunch of Flair moves resulting in the required freak out from Flair.

Flair hasn’t even been in yet. Flair finally comes in and Grenier is in trouble. He’s one of those guys that never actually did anything but had a job because he fit into a tag team. Flair for the most part probably used more basic stuff than anyone ever while making it work. I mean really, how many complex moves can you think of Flair using? He does really basic stuff but he does it so efficiently that he makes himself look great while at the same time making others look great. That’s a very rare quality.

The figure four goes on but Conway makes the save. Flair is RIDICULOUSLY popular here. For some reason this is getting some time. It says a lot when a guy like Flair, a member of the top heel stable, is getting cheered this much. There’s a massive row of signs that spell out WOO in the crowd. There are a lot more o’s in there though which I’d guess you figured out.

Why is it that you never see guys use the front facelock in singles matches but you see it all the time in tags? Without a tag, Flair gets hit by Au Revoir (the champions’ finisher) but Eugene Eugenes Up and beats the tar out of them. And then he knocks the referee down for the CHEAP DQ. Eugene hits a Stunner and Rock Bottom on them after the match.

Rating: C. I don’t think anyone was really expecting much here or a title change and that’s about what they got. This was by no means bad but it’s nothing great at all. Flair and Eugene were part of a far more important angle that would culminate with HHH beating up a slow man on PPV. Still though, not awful at all but nothing special either

And now against a makeshift team at Unforgiven 2004.

Raw Tag Titles: La Resistance vs. Tajiri/Rhyno

Conway/Grenier here. Conway vs. Tajiri starts us off and Tajiri speeds around a lot to take over. Off to Grenier who hits the floor to avoid a Gore. Tajiri comes back in and takes over with a semi-botched tornado DDT. Conway beats on Tajiri and the fans just do not care. Off to a reverse chinlock as the fans chant USA for a Japanese comeback. Rhyno comes in and beats on both French dudes a bit.

This match needs to end like five minutes ago. It’s just boring but you could say that about every tag title match in this period. We hear about Rhyno looking everywhere for a partner as he walks into a double flapjack for two. The flag goes into Conway’s balls but a Gore only gets two. And there’s a flag to the face of Rhyno for the cheap pin.

Rating: F+. This had zero point in being on PPV. It wouldn’t even be a good Raw match, mainly because it went on way too long, getting almost ten minutes. La Resistance would be the heel team of the year for awhile as no one cared at all and it went nowhere at all. The tag division sucked BAD around this point and this is a fine example of it.

Let’s try a concept show at Taboo Tuesday 2004.

Raw Tag Titles: Chris Benoit/Edge vs. La Resistance

This is Conway and Grenier for you La Resistance fan out there. Grenier sings the Canadian national anthem in French to waste a ton of time. Benoit’s music finally kicks on to break up the “singing”. This is right around the time of Edge’s real heel turn and he was really getting good at it. He jumps Conway to start and there is no combination that the champions could use to have an advantage here.

I love that snap suplex from Benoit. That’s always so awesome looking. The crowd is, amazingly enough, dead for the most part here. Edge goes out in front of the barrier to argue with some fan that must have said something evil. I think he might not like Edge but I’m not entirely sure.

This crowd is DEAD. They aren’t moving at all and are barely making any noise at all. It’s like they’re working in front of a ghost town. Benoit has barely been in there at all but unless they pop like crazy for him, this match can more or less be considered a failure in the crowd’s eyes. Benoit comes in to about as great of a roar as the opposing team’s mascot would get.

King thinks the most important thing to the champions is to retain their titles. You can’t buy experience and analysis like that people! A depressing let’s go Benoit chant starts up and dies even faster. The referee doesn’t see the tag to Edge so it isn’t allowed. I love classic things like that. And there goes Edge as he leaves Benoit alone. Well alone with three other guys that is.

In the back Edge gets his bag and leaves. Back in the arena, Benoit hits a top rope suplex but can’t cover. Benoit reverses their finisher (Au Revoir) and shoves Grenier to the floor before locking in the Crossface on Conway for the tap out and the titles. Why look at this: champions that aren’t a real team that hate each other. NEW IDEAS RULE!

Rating: D+. This was like 17 minutes long and NOTHING happened. This was supposed to be big because of Benoit doing it on his own but when he’s on his own for like 3 minutes and the champions dominate for the rest of the time, it’s not a good match but rather just boring as all goodness. This wasn’t good at all.

Back to TV with this match on Raw, November 1, 2004.

Raw Tag Titles: La Resistance vs. Chris Benoit/Edge

Conway and Grenier this time. Edge isn’t here to start so the French Canadians pound on the Canadian whose Canadian partner isn’t here yet, prompting a USA chant. Or are they cheering for Conway? Either way he starts with Benoit who has to fight off both of them. Neckbreaker by Conway puts Benoit down and the challengers take over. Benoit goes off on both of them with release Germans and here’s Edge.

Edge is walking around the ring for awhile. And never mind as he’s on the apron now. Grenier pounds on Benoit but Chris breaks through, only to have Edge walk out on him. Back with no Edge in the ring because he’s on commentary now. This is when the commentary desk was near the entrance. Edge and Jerry are talking about the book at Benoit gets worked over even more.

Benoit hits a clothesline but there’s no Edge to make the tag to. Back to Grenier who stomps away. Benoit comes back and suplexes both of them with ease. He snaps off the Rolling Germans as Jerry talks about a picture of Edge’s puppy. Edge goes down to ringside because he thinks Benoit needs a hand. There’s the Swan Dive and Crossface to Grenier but Edge distracts the referee and Au Revoir (suplex/side slam combo) gives us new champions.

Rating: D+. This was a handicap match and on that front, it was pretty boring. That being said, this was all about the angle instead of a match, which is fine. This was around the time that the tag titles were rapidly dying in importance, and a lot of that is for stuff like this. Edge basically said “here you take this, it doesn’t mean anything to me.”

From Japan on Raw, February 7, 2005.

Raw Tag Titles: William Regal/Tajiri vs. La Resistance

Gee I wonder what’s going to happen here. Conway and Grenier here. The place ERUPTS for Tajiri who is all fired up here. Regal and Eugene were champions but Eugene is injured so Regal picked Tajiri as his new partner. Massive Tajiri chant starts up so Regal starts off with Conway. Regal Stretch goes on but it’s off to Tajiri who adds the low dropkick as the offense is on.

Regal plays Ricky Morton for a bit here despite getting some shots in to try to break the momentum. The fans chant something but it’s in Japanese. Grenier punches Tajiri so when Regal takes him down there’s no one to tag. STF is broken up quickly and there’s the hot tag to Tajiri who cleans house. Let the kicks begin! Enziguri hits Grenier for two as everything breaks down. Double handspring elbow takes out the French dudes and it’s Tarantula time. Regal takes Conway down and there’s the Green Mist and a Buzzsaw kick gives us new champions.

Rating: C+. The match totally doesn’t matter and is rated too high, but this is about giving the fans something to erupt for and that’s exactly what they did here. Tajiri and Regal would hold the belts about three months so this wasn’t just a fluke title reign. No problem at all with this and while it’s not great or anything, it was perfectly done as it made Tajiri look like a star.

We’ll wrap it up five weeks later on Raw, March 14, 2005.

Rockers vs. La Resistance

This is the Conway/Grenier version. Jannetty and Grenier get us going and after some arm drags by Marty, the EVIL Frenchmen take over. There’s the tag to Shawn and we get some signature Rockers stuff, although Marty can’t do the nip up anymore. Double dives to the floor take La Resistance out but Conway low bridges Shawn to give the heels control. Conway suplexes him for two and it’s back to Grenier. Marty tries to come in and La Resistance hits a Hart Attack of all things for two. Shawn comes back with his forearm and it’s hot tag to Marty. He cleans house and hits the Rocker Dropper on Conway for the pin.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t great or anything but it wasn’t meant to be. This was about having fun and some nostalgia and in that regard, it worked. On top of that, it wasn’t a half bad tag match. Having Marty get the pin was a nice touch because there was nothing for Shawn to gain here. The idea was to have Marty get a warmup for Angle on Smackdown and that worked well here. Good stuff.

As you might have picked up on, La Resistance dominated one of the worst times for tag teams in WWE history. This was a period where unifying the titles would have made a ton of sense as there was barely enough depth for one set, let alone two. The trio wasn’t bad, but they just had nothing to work with. Being so young didn’t do them any favors either.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Survivor Series 2001
Date: November 18, 2001
Location: Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, North Carolina
Attendance: 10,142
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

I’ve talked about the Invasion over and over and over as have a bunch of other people so I’ll spare you the big explanation of it. In short, WWF bought WCW and ECW (or close enough to that at least) and over the summer and fall of 2001, squandered what could arguably have been a billion dollars’ worth of stories, feuds and shocks. But hey, why make a fortune when you can destroy WCW and have a final blowoff in the home of Starrcade where you can say HAHA I BEAT YOU TURNER and crush WCW once and for all? That’s the whole show for the most part. It’s one Survivor Series match, winner take all. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a cool idea as it shows all of the old logos for the WWF over the years and a bunch of great moments in company history, set to a song called The End Is Here. Tonight it’s winner take all in the main event.

European Title: Christian vs. Al Snow

Christian is in the Alliance and defending. He greets his fans in South Carolina and says he’s awesome. Snow comes out to the Tough Enough theme which is always awesome. Snow takes him down to the mat which frustrates the champ. Christian comes back with a foot on Snow’s face in the corner followed by a Russian legsweep for two. We hit the chinlock as the match slows down.

Snow fights up and hits his headbutts but Christian hits a tiger driver backbreaker for two. Snow gets rammed into the buckle and things slow down again. The trapping headbutts hit Christian again and Snow escapes the reverse DDT into a neckbreaker for two. Heyman schilling for the Alliance guy is always funny. A sitout powerbomb gets two for Snow and now Christian’s reverse DDT hits for no cover. Instead Christian talks a lot of trash and gets rolled up for two. A top rope cross body is rolled through by Snow and the Snow Plow gets two. There’s the Unprettier out of nowhere to keep the title in the Alliance. That was quick.

Rating: C-. This is one of those shows where anything but the main event means nothing, which makes the first hour and a half of the show pretty uninteresting to sit through. This match was fine but it could have been on Smackdown on any given week. Snow and Christian are both good hands so a good match is really nothing shocking at all.

Austin arrives and yells at the Alliance. He doesn’t like being accused of being a traitor to the Alliance. This would be a lot better if Stephanie had more acting ability than say, a carrot. Austin yells at everyone on the team and says stop being paranoid.

Vince and Linda arrive with Vince brimming with confidence. Cole comes up and says this might be their last night in business but Vince doesn’t want to hear talk like that. Vince talks about taking calculated risks and being confident because someone is jumping to the WWF. Regal comes up and says he doesn’t buy the idea that Austin is jumping back to the WWF.

William Regal vs. Tajiri

Regal hurt Tajiri’s girlfriend Torrie on Smackdown to set this up. Also these two used to be friends. Tajiri is Cruiserweight Champion and was supposed to face X-Pac in a title for title match, but according to Commissioner Mick Foley, “No one cared about X-Pac or the Light Heavyweight Title anyway”. Tajiri fires off a kick but gets suplexed right back down.

The knee trembler takes Tajiri down but Tajiri goes after Regal’s knee with the kicks. There’s the Tarantula and Regal is bleeding from the nose. A handspring elbow gets two for Tajiri but Regal ties his head up in the ropes to stop the momentum dead. Regal tries a powerbomb but gets countered by another kick to the head. The Buzzsaw Kick misses and there’s the Tiger Bomb from Regal for the pin. Too short to rate but it was fine. Short, but fine.

Regal powerbombs him again post match. Torrie (looking GREAT in a purple top and leather pants) comes out to check on Tajiri, only to get powerbombed as well.

We recap Edge vs. Test. These two are both midcard champions after the seemingly dozens of never ending midcard title changes going on at this point. Edge is US Champion, Test is IC Champion, tonight only one belt survives.

Test complains about the makeup lady not rubbing in the oil well enough on him. Stacy comes up and agrees with Test. Test hits on her and she’ll think about it if he wins.

Edge compares himself to Test and says that there are a lot of similarities between them. The difference is that Edge hasn’t been dumped by every chick on the planet. Edge makes fun of Test for sounding wooden and that’s about it.

Intercontinental Title/US Title: Edge vs. Test

They fight over control to start with Edge taking over via a series of forearms to the head. Test powers him down and goes after the ribs with a wide ranging selection of stomps. We head to the floor with Edge being dropped across the barricade to further the attack on the ribs. Back in and Edge hits a dropkick to take over before we head outside again. Back in quickly and a swinging neckbreaker gets two for Edge.

Test drops Edge onto the top rope ribs first to reinjure him and the taller of the blonde Canadian champions takes over again. Test puts on a chinlock as the match slows down again. Edge fights up and avoids a corner charge before hitting a middle rope missile dropkick for two. A middle rope cross body misses though and Test puts him on the top rope.

Edge blocks a superplex with some CANADIAN right hands to the ribs but a sunset bomb doesn’t work. Test dives off the top but jumps right into a dropkick to put him down. The problem with this match is neither guy has been able to build up any kind of a run with the title as both have changed hands four times since the InVasion began about four months ago. How can you get behind either guy as a big time champion in that little bit of time? On top of that, Edge has been champion for six days and Test for thirteen. That’s not exactly Honky Tonk Man unifying with Luger in the late 80s.

Both guys are down now but it’s Edge up first with some clotheslines and a spinwheel kick. Test’s pumphandle slam is countered into the Edge-O-Matic for two. Test spears Edge down for two but the big boot misses. There’s the pumphandle for two but Test’s powerbomb is countered into a rana. Edge’s spear gets a close two but he can’t hit the Edgecution. Test tries a full nelson slam but Edge rolls through for the pin and both titles.

Rating: C+. This started pretty slow but it got going once Edge was able to start countering Test’s power stuff. In other words, Edge did the work to make Test’s generic big man offense look decent. This was probably the match of the night, which isn’t surprising given how hot Edge got in the next year.

Angle comes up to see a stressed out Stephanie. My goodness her acting is bad. I know I say that a lot, but IT’S FREAKING TERRIBLE. She says if the Alliance loses tonight, she’ll have to buy her own groceries and wash her own car. She can’t be a…..a…..a REGULAR PERSON!!! Angle reminds her that she’s special and doesn’t think Austin will jump.

A cage is lowered.

Jeff and Lita are talking about Matt being different lately. Matt comes up and yells at them for acting strange and not being focused enough. It turns into a rallying speech and things seem ok. The guys leave and Trish comes out of the same locker room Matt came out of earlier. It says Team WWF so maybe there’s nothing there……..but maybe there is. DUN DUN DUN!

WCW Tag Titles/WWF Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Hardy Boys

In a cage. The Dudleys are WCW Champions and the Hardys are the WWF Champions and Stacy is STUNNING at this point as the Dudleys’ manager. All four belts get laid out between the guys in the ring and it’s time to go. There are tags required here and it’s Matt vs. Bubba to start. Matt can’t get anywhere so it’s off to Jeff who walks into a Boss Man Slam for two.

D-Von comes in as Heyman talks about Big Daddy Dudley which JR could not care less about. Back to Matt who rolls D-Von up for two but walks into a reverse inverted DDT for two. Bubba comes in again and drops a bunch of elbows for two. The Dudleys tag in and out a lot and it’s back to Bubba for more punching to Matt’s ribs. Bubba tries to ram Matt into the cage but Matt counters into a reverse DDT.

Off to Jeff who cleans house as everything breaks down quickly. Poetry in Motion hits Bubba and Matt climbs but D-Von makes the save. It’s pin/submission/double escape to win here and there’s a Bubba Bomb off the top to Jeff. Wouldn’t that hurt both of them equally? Bubba goes up again but Matt slams him down for two. Matt gets rammed into the cage but when the Dudleys try to do the same to Jeff, he grabs the cage and tries to climb out, only to get caught in a Doomsday Device (Paul: “WHAT A RUSH!”).

Matt gets crushed against the cage and Bubba whips D-Von into him for good measure. Bubba splashes him as well and the Dudleys are in full control. Jeff gets in a shot and Matt hits a top rope double clothesline to shift the momentum just as fast though. A DDT puts Bubba down for two and Jeff hits the legdrop between D-Von’s legs. A double backdrop takes Ray down again and the Hardys go up.

Matt hits a legdrop and Jeff hits a splash off the top at the same time for two on Bubba. Matt makes a climb but gets pulled down with one leg still stuck in the cage. What’s Up to Jeff and Bubba asks Stacy for a table. Stacy hits on Nick Patrick and picks the key out of his pocket. There’s a table in the ring now but Matt breaks up the 3D by jumping Bubba. Why D-Von didn’t flapjack Jeff through the table is anyone’s guess.

Bubba and Matt go tot he top and pound away at each other until Bubba is knocked down. Matt climbs down to escape but he’s left alone against the Dudleys. D-Von is rammed into the cage a few times and Jeff goes up as D-Von climbs onto the table for no apparent reason. Jeff looks down and sees D-Von there before diving off the top of the cage, but the Swanton misses. Bubba covers the table and therefore Jeff as well for the pin and the titles.

Rating: B-. This was the usual good brawl between these teams and it furthers the Hardys’ issues, but at the end of the day this feud was played out at this point. There was nothing left for these two teams to do and at this point it was being dragged out way too far. Still though, good match and a good way to I believe finally end this nearly two year long feud.

Jeff is taken out on a stretcher.

Mick Foley is at WWF New York and admits that his job (WWF Commissioner) means nothing.

Scotty 2 Hotty is about to be in the Immunity Battle Royal but Test beats him up to take his spot.

Immunity Battle Royal

Test, Billy Gunn, Bradshaw, Farrooq, Lance Storm, Billy Kidman, Diamond Dallas Page, Albert, Tazz, Perry Saturn, Raven, Chuck Palumbo, Crash Holly, Justin Credible, Shawn Stasiak, Steven Richards, Tommy Dreamer, The Hurricane, Spike Dudley, Hugh Morrus, Chavo Guerrero Jr., Funaki

No matter who wins the main event tonight, the winner of this is guaranteed a job for a year. Stasiak is thrown to the floor before the bell rings and is apparently out. Test drops to the floor to hide as Tazz comes in late. Since it’s a battle royal there’s really not much to talk about here. Everyone punches everyone and no one is put out for awhile. Heyman freaks out about Tazz because Tazz choked him out on Smackdown.

Hurricane dives at Farrooq and is clotheslined out by Bradshaw. Albert throws Saturn out and Test, who is back in now, dumps Farrooq. Page is put out by someone we can’t see and Storm superkicks Palumbo out. Morrus and Chavo run in as wildcards because they tried to jump from the Alliance to the WWF on Raw but got fired as a result. Billy dumps Chavo as Morrus is eliminated as well. Tazz dumps Dreamer and Crash as Storm low bridges Spike out. Bradshaw’s Clothesline kills Richards and he’s gone.

Tazz stops to run his mouth to Heyman and gets dumped by Billy. Test and I think Kidman put Albert out. We’re down to Bradshaw, Kidman, Gunn, Test and Storm. Sorry if I missed a bunch of eliminations but a lot of them weren’t shown. The fallaway slam puts Kidman out and we’re down to four. Bradshaw kicks Storm down and might have hurt his ankle. Things slow way down as Billy and Bradshaw hang on for dear life. Storm and Test team up to put Bradshaw out but Test dumps Storm as well. A big boot eliminates Gunn and Test wins immunity.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but at the end of the day, it’s a battle royal so what are you expecting to get here? Test would fall through the floor in the next year with no one caring about him at all. This was a pretty big batch of jobbers in there though and that doesn’t really make for an interesting match. Then again, neither do most battle royals.

Sacrifice video by Creed.

Booker is worried about Austin jumping. Shane says it’s ok and stick with it.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Ivory vs. Lita vs. Mighty Molly vs. Jacqueline vs. Jazz

Chyna relinquished the title earlier in the year without being pinned and then disappeared so this is the best we’ve got to pick from for the new champion. This is Jazz’s debut and NO ONE CARES. Why does no one care? Because Jazz meant nothing in ECW and was a face there but is a heel here. Jazz and Lita start things off with Jazz pounding away. Off to Jackie vs. Molly off some blind tags and somehow even fewer people care about Jackie.

Jackie dropkicks Molly down and it’s off to Ivory who gets caught in a sunset flip for two. This is one fall to a finish. Ivory slingshots Jackie into the ropes and it’s off to Trish who is looking very good in those little pink shorts of hers. Lita gets knocked to the floor and the three Alliance chicks (Ivory, Jazz, Molly) triple team Trish for a bit. Jackie double crosses Lita on Poetry in Motion and everyone hits their finishers on everyone else. The Litasault gets two on Ivory as Jazz saves. Lita gets backdropped to the floor and it’s Ivory vs. Trish left. Stratusfaction gives Trish I believe her first title.

Rating: D. It was short, the match wasn’t any good, Trish looked great in the skin tight barely there pink shorts, Lita looked good as usual, and that’s all I’ve got here. As usual with situations like this, when the previous champion doesn’t lose the title, the new champion comes in at a big disadvantage.

Vince looks at Team WWF and gives them a pep talk, bringing up names like Dr. Jerry Graham, Peter Maivia, Gorilla Monsoon (pop) and Andre the Giant (BIG pop). He understands he might be looking at a group of losers, and if that happens no one will ever forgive them. After listening to that speech, I want to go fight three WWF guys and one guy each from ECW and WCW!

We recap the main event which has been summed up pretty well already. Vince was replaced by Big Show and Rock and Jericho are having major issues. Rock is WCW champion and Austin is WWF Champion. This really does feel like a huge match. The video is set to Control by Puddle of Mudd which is a good song.

Basically Vince said that he was tired of all of the InVasion (I think a lot of us were at this point) and offered one winner take all match with the losing organization going out of business. Angle joined the Alliance after the announcement but Vince says Austin is coming back to the WWF, giving the Alliance reason to be concerned. Austin stunned Angle on TV recently to further that idea.

Team WWF vs. Team Alliance

The Rock, Chris Jericho, Big Show, Undertaker, Kane

Steve Austin, Kurt Angle, Booker T, Rob Van Dam, Shane McMahon

Everyone gets individual entrances so it takes forever to get to the start of the match. As those are going on, a few things to notice here: Team Alliance has one of the biggest WWF superstars ever, a guy that at this point had only wrestled in the WWF, a WCW guy, an ECW guy, and the then heir to the WWF throne.

Also, as goes the stereotype for the WWF, most of their guys are big and strong instead of the more athletic styles of the Alliance team. One other thing: JR keeps up one of the annoying inaccuracies in wrestling by saying that Taker won the world title in his WWF debut. It was a year later, which you should know if you’ve been reading my reviews like good minions.

Rock and Austin start fighting before the bell and you know the early advantage doesn’t mean a thing in this one. Austin hits the Thesz Press and the middle rope elbow for a very early two. Rock comes back with a middle finger elbow of his own and dares Shane to get in. Off to Booker who gets clotheslined down for two as Shane makes the save. Expect to hear that line for awhile. Off to Jericho as Heyman blames Vince for the end of ECW.

Van Dam and Jericho have a nice fast paced sequence with Jericho hitting a spinwheel kick for no cover. Jericho chops away but misses a dropkick, allowing Rob to hit the cartwheel into a moonsault for two. For reasons likely related to high levels of drug use, Van Dam tries a standing rana on Jericho, only to be countered into the Walls. Shane makes the third save of the match already and it’s off to Angle vs. Kane.

Angle gets thrown around but eventually slips behind Kane and hits a German Suplex for two. Kane comes back with a side slam and the top rope clothesline for two of his own as Shane saves again. Off to the Dead Man who pounds away but misses a charge into the corner, allowing Booker to get the tag. Taker immediately drops Booker and hits a legdrop, but Shane breaks up his fifth near fall of the match.

There’s Old School to Booker followed by that lifting wristlock which always looks painful. Off to a short armed scissors followed by a clothesline for two, resulting in ANOTHER save from Shane. Austin comes in to pound on Taker (and to cause Heyman to say WHAT after everything JR says) but he gets caught in Old School. Say it with me: Shane makes the save. Taker gets caught in the wrong corner and quintuple teamed.

Angle is in next and tries to slug it out with the Deadman for some reason. Taker escapes a German and DDTs Angle down. There’s the tag to Big Show and JR almost immediately bashes him, saying Show can make a huge difference, or he can make some huge mistakes. Show throws around RVD and Angle before clearing off the entire Alliance corner. Angle gets underneath Show and there’s the Slam followed by an Ax kick from Booker (and a Spinarooni) and a Five Star and a top rope elbow from Shane for the first elimination.

Shane dances around in celebration before turning around to meet The Rock who beats the living tar out of Shane with right hands in the corner. Off to Kane for a chokeslam, then a tombstone from Undertaker and a Lionsault from Jericho to tie it up. That’s the best way to go as Show and Shane were the weak links on both teams. Angle vs. Jericho now with Jericho hitting the forearm to start. A double underhook backbreaker puts Angle down but Austin saves.

Angle uses an amateur takedown and brings in Booker to slam Chris a few times. RVD gets a tag but one of his shoulders in the corner is countered into a sunset flip for two. Off to Kane who catches a punch from RVD. Van Dam’s comeback? Kick the guy in the head. Why make things too complicated? Kane pulls Booker in and kicks him in the face too but the numbers game allows Van Dam to take Kane down and hit the Five Star. Rob takes too long to cover though and gets caught in a chokeslam, but Booker kicks Kane down. Everything breaks down and Rob kicks Kane from the top for the pin to make it 4-3.

Taker pounds on Van Dam in the corner while everyone else is fighting on the floor. Austin and Angle get in as well and Taker has to fight all four guys at once. He gets them all in a corner and keeps charging at all of them with clotheslines in a cool sequence. Snake Eyes and a big boot take Angle down and there’s a Last Ride for him as well. Booker comes in with a chair but Taker boots him down, leaving himself open to a Stunner from Austin and the pin by Angle. That leaves us with Austin/Angle/Booker/RVD vs. Rock/Jericho.

Booker stomps on Rock but Rocky comes back with right hands. A side kick takes Rock right back down but Rock does the same with a DDT for two. Booker charges into a Samoan Drop for two as Austin makes the save. Rock whips Booker into Angle and grabs a rollup to eliminate Mr. T, making it 3-2.

Rob is in next but as he goes up, Rock kind of powerbombs him off the top for two. Jericho gets the tag and hits a running neckbreaker for two before chopping away in the corner. Van Dam avoids the Lionsault and kicks Chris’ head off, followed by the split legged moonsault for no cover. Jericho pops up and hits a Breakdown (Skull Crushing Finale) out of nowhere for the pin and the elimination to tie it up at two each.

Austin slingshots Rock into the post on the floor while Angle and Jericho fight in the ring. Angle picks Jericho’s ankle and stomps away on him as Heyman thinks the Alliance can find a place for the Rock. Back to Austin to pound away on Chris and hit a superplex for two. Austin hits a kind of northern lights/belly to belly suplex for two and here’s Angle again. Jericho puts Kurt in the ankle lock but Kurt quickly escapes and hits a clothesline to take over.

It’s back to Austin for a suplex and an elbow to the face. Angle comes in and stomps away before it’s back to Austin who stomps away as well. We hit one of the few chinlocks in this match as Jericho is in trouble. Jericho fights up and it’s a double tag to bring in Rock vs. Angle with the Great One quickly hooking a Sharpshooter on Kurt for an even faster tap. Heyman LOSES IT in a great moment.

Off to Austin vs. Jericho with Chris trying the Walls but Austin rakes the eyes to escape. Austin can’t put Jericho in the Boston crab either but he gets the knees up to block the Lionsault. Steve loads up a superplex but gets shoved down, followed by a missile dropkick for Jericho for two. Austin counters a rollup out of nowhere for the pin and the elimination to get us down to Rock vs. Austin. Did you expect it to be anything else?

Rock hits a bad spinebuster but Jericho hits a Breakdown on Rock to take him down in a double cross. It’s not joining the Alliance, but rather just personal hatred. That gets two for Austin and Taker comes out to stalk Jericho to the back. Austin pounds away before launching Rock over the top and out to the floor. They fight on the floor with Austin being laid on the table and slapped in the chest over and over.

Austin comes back but gets sent over the announce table and punched in the face by Rock. Back in Rock chops away but gets caught in the whip spinebuster from Austin. Austin puts on a bad Sharpshooter and there’s your Montreal reference. Rock finally makes the rope so Austin grabs the WWF Title. Rock ducks the swing and puts Austin the Sharpshooter but he’s afraid to let go of the belt for some reason. I guess realizing he has a job no matter what, he grabs the rope instead.

Back up and Austin’s Stunner is countered into a Stunner from Rock. Why that puts Rock down after Rock had been in control for awhile is beyond me but whatever. Rock covers but here’s Nick Patrick to pull Hebner out. A Rock Bottom to Patrick is broken up and Austin Rock Bottoms Rock for two. Austin drills Patrick and pulls Hebner back in, only to be sent into him again as Rock counters the Stunner. There’s the Stunner to Rock but there’s no referee. Angle runs in and nails Austin with the title, letting Rock hit the Rock Bottom for the pin and the death of the Alliance. JR to Heyman: “You’re out of work! AGAIN!”

Rating: A. This felt like a main event and was very entertaining too. It runs forty five minutes bell to bell and feels like about half of that. At the end of the day, it was pretty clear what was going to happen but that doesn’t make it a bad match. Rock vs. Austin was pretty much done for a long time after this match, which is the right call as they had run it a lot this year. Great stuff here though.

Everyone celebrates and Vince comes out for the big dramatic pose, because this whole storyline was all about Vince and his kids remember.

Overall Rating: B+. Like I said, as goes the main event, so goes the show. The rest of the show isn’t bad but the main event is over an hour counting buildup video and entrances and all that jazz. The rest of the show isn’t bad at all with a good cage match and nothing truly bad that didn’t involve Trish looking great, so I can’t complain much here. Also, it gets rid of the Alliance which makes things better already.

As for the InVasion, I’ve gone on at great length about it already, but in short form here: it was the biggest waste of time, money, and potential that there ever could be in wrestling. This was the biggest storyline you could possibly ask for and they BLEW IT. There are multiple options you could go with here. One idea is have no mention on TV of the WWF buying WCW and just keep it going with WWF guys in charge behind the scenes. Think a network might have been interested with it being under the direction of the biggest wrestling company ever?

Another option: have the Alliance win. At the end of the day any money they’ve got goes into the WWF’s pocket as they own EVERYTHING, so what difference does it make? Granted that was never going to happen with Vince’s ego, but why let money get in the way of Vince feeling good about himself? The InVasion could have been so much more but it wound up running about five months with the WWF dominating the whole way through. Such a shame and a loss for wrestling fans who had waited for so many years for a chance to have this happen.

Ratings Comparison

Christian vs. Al Snow

Original: C+

Redo: C-

William Regal vs. Tajiri

Original: C

Redo: N/A

Edge vs. Test

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Dudley Boys vs. Hardy Boys

Original: B+

Redo: B-

Battle Royal

Original: N/A

Redo: C-

Trish Stratus vs. Lita vs. Jacqueline vs. Ivory vs. Mighty Molly vs. Jazz

Original: D+

Redo: D

Team WWF vs. Team Alliance

Original: B

Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: C+

Redo: B+

Like I said, as the main event goes, so goes the show. That’s apparently the case here as I liked both better the second time around.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/10/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2001-the-end-of-the-alliance-thank-goodness/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00NPPH0WI

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Hardcore Heaven 2000
Date: May 14, 2000
Location: The Rave, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Attendance: 3,400
Commentators: Joey Styles, Cyrus

In case that isn’t enough for you, Rob Van Dam is back from his broken ankle. Now you might think that this is the perfect time for Van Dam to take his rightful place at the top of the company now that he’s no longer TV Champion and now can focus on the World Title. Instead, he has a match against Jerry Lynn to continue their series. Let’s get to it.

We actually open with the theme song for the first time in this series.

Joel and Joey are in the ring with Joey mentioning various Milwaukee sports teams. The crowd isn’t impressed so he goes with bratwurst and beer to get the people on his side. Joel does his rhyme and actually isn’t cut off by Cyrus. Joey says he doesn’t care what the censors think because tonight they’re in hardcore heaven. With no interruption and the theme song already done, they just walk up the ramp (making its return on the side of the ring) to the broadcast booth while everyone stands around with nothing to do.

Balls Mahoney vs. Masato Tanaka

These two respect each other so there’s no hatred to the match. Mahoney just stands in the ring for his whole song (Big Balls by AC/DC) in a far too long entrance. Tanaka comes out as well but Cyrus appears at the broadcast booth and tries to throw Gertner out. Joel won’t go, so Cyrus has Kintaro Kanemura choke him out before taking over Joel’s spot.

As for the match, they actually have a technical sequence to start until Mahoney starts swinging to take over. Tanaka cross bodies him down for two and puts on an armbar. Balls sends him to the floor and hits a nice dive before nailing Masato with a beer. Both guys are whipped into the barricade and Tanaka drags him onto the ramp. The running chair to the head staggers Mahoney and a tornado DDT puts him down.

They head back inside and have a chair duel before three straight HARD chair shots to the head put Tanaka down. Back up and a superkick into the chair into Masato’s face puts him down but the fans want tables. Instead they get more chairs and Tanaka hits the tornado DDT onto said chairs for two.

The Roaring Elbow misses and Nutcracker Suite gets two. Diamond Dust gets the same and Tanaka is stunned that someone kicked out of his big move. Tanaka tries to jump over him but gets caught in another Nutcracker Suite onto the chairs for an even closer two. Balls’ middle rope leg only hits chair but he kicks out of the Roaring Elbow. A top rope chair to the head doesn’t put Balls down but the Roaring Elbow is enough for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match was a mess but it was exactly what you have to expect from these two. The lack of tables made this a lot better, though it wasn’t all that good either way. I like the trading finishers but when that’s almost the entire match, it really doesn’t hold up as well as it does with a good build.

Lance Storm says Justin is all alone tonight and the run ends.

Little Guido vs. Simon Diamond vs. Mikey Whipwreck

Mikey (now insane with red hair and an obsession with fire) has his new manager the Sinisiter Minister, Guido has Big Sal, but Simon has Mitch, The Prodigy (never went anywhere), the Prodigette (had some success on the independent circuit) and the Muskateer, who is exactly what he sounds like, complete with sword. Mikey recently burned Big Sal so half of his face is bandaged up. Everyone tries their finishers to start but no one makes any significant contact until Mikey superkicks Simon down for two.

Mikey charges into Guido’s elbow in the corner and Guido headscissors Simon out of the corner. A powerbomb out of the corner gets two on Simon but Mikey’s missile dropkick gets two on Guido. Simon hits rolling suplexes into a gordbuster on Mikey for two as Guido makes a save. Simon and Mikey head to the floor and most of the lights go out. Mikey hits Guido with a camera and the entourages go after Sal.

Simon’s dive is caught in mid air by the big man but Mikey dives on all of them to put everybody down. Sal crushes the entourage as Guido hits a flying armbar for two on Mikey back inside. The lights are still mostly out. Guido fights out of the Whippersnapper but Simon can’t escape and gets pinned.

Down to Mikey vs. Guido with Mikey lifting Guido in a Pedigree but putting Guido onto his shoulders and spinning him around before putting him down in the sitout Pedigree. The fans are very impressed but it only gets two. Big Sal comes in and Guido climbs onto his shoulders, only to miss a huge elbow drop. Mikey throws a fireball at Sal to burn him again, only to walk into a Tomikaze for the pin.

Rating: C. Good enough match here, but WAY too many people wandering around at ringside. That spinning Pedigree from Mikey was something else and I understand why he busted it out even though he was losing, but it still feels wasted. The lights going out make ECW look amateurish and that’s not good when you’re already the third rate promotion.

Justin Credible, now with Francine, says he’s been taking people’s blood for seven years now. He’s traded a Tag Team Title for this belt and that’s all that matters. Storm will see a real champion tonight.

The lights are back on as the Dangerous Alliance comes to the ring. Billy Wiles now has Elvis sideburns. Cyrus is annoyed that Elektra is in a jacket. Lou E. Dangerously tells us how great he is but he has to threaten the fans with Anderson violence if they don’t shut up. This is basically the same thing that he did last time. Lou claims that Elektra is all natural, which is pretty laughable. Before the match, Jazz comes out and beats up the Alliance, including stripping Elektra down to a Mike Awesome t-shirt and what are basically strings underneath it. Anderson plants Jazz with a spinebuster but Kid Kash runs out for his match.

C.W. Anderson vs. Kid Kash

Kash quickly sends Anderson to the floor and hits a big dive to take him down before the bell. Anderson nails a big left hand right after we get going but walks into a dropkick to put him on the floor. Kash dives off the apron to take Wiles down with a hurricanrana. Back in and Kash tries a hurricarana but gets caught in a sitout powerbomb. It’s been awhile since we’ve seen one of those. C.W. hammers away in the corner and knocks Kash to the floor, only to have Wiles drop Kid across the barricade.

Back in and Kash climbs the corner for a cross body and two, only to walk into a big clothesline. A reverse suplex gets two for Anderson and a powerslam gets the same. Kash avoids a charge in the corner but has to deal with Wiles. Lou E. misses a phone shot and hits Billy, only to have C.W. nail Kash with a superkick for another two. Anderson goes up but gets caught in a bad looking hurricanrana for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was a decent enough power vs. speed match but the interference got annoying fast. Wiles and Dangerously become more and more useless every time they appear but Anderson seems to have something special to him. He could use someone to talk for him but Lou isn’t quite up to that level either.

Bill Alfonso is worried about Van Dam coming back from his injury so soon. Van Dam is calm, especially with Scotty Anton being in his corner.

Da Baldies vs. Chris Chetti/Nova vs. Danny Doring/Roadkill

It’s nice to see the two young tag teams getting to be in the same match for a change. It’s Angel/DeVito here. The brawl starts on the ramp with Doring and Roadkill getting the better of Da Baldies. Nova and Chetti hammer away on DeVito in the ring but Angel switches places with him and takes a beating as well. Now we get the big showdown with Da Baldies down on the floor.

Doring’s jawbreaker puts Nova down but Chetti kicks Roadkill in the face. Chetti and Doring, the first two graduates of the House of Hardcore, slug it out but Da Baldies clean house. Roadkill takes both of them out with his springboard clothesline and Nova hits a Swanton Bomb on DeVito but Nova takes a Hart Attack from Doring and Roadkill. Da Baldies hit a double spinebuster to put Roadkill through two chairs but Nova hits a jawbreaker/DDT combo to put them both down.

Doring hits a top rope elbow on Angel but Grimes runs in for the save. Doring beats him up too but Angel BLASTS Doring with a guitar for the elimination. We’re down to Nova/Chetti vs. Da Baldies but Roadkill puts Grimes on a table and hits a HUGE splash to put both guys out. Back in the ring and Da Baldies are in full control and Nova is put in the Tree of Woe. Angel charges at Nova but he does a situp into a Diamond Cutter to drop Nova. The Amityville Horror and Tidal Wave are enough to pin DeVito.

Rating: C. This was a huge spotfest but also proof that these kind of matches can work without weapons. Other than the guitar shot, this was almost all about the wrestlers doing their stuff and that’s what a match is supposed to be. It’s also nice to see good teams getting pushed, but ECW won’t being Tag Team Titles for awhile for whatever reason they had at this point. You would think this would be a good place to have the titles on the line, but for some reason it didn’t happen.

Post match Da Baldies keep fighting until New Jack comes out with his weapons, including a staple gun and a fork. Time for another impromptu match.

New Jack vs. Angel

DeVito is still out there and already busted open. New Jack sends him into the crowd and I can barely see a thing. They finally get to a clearing and New Jack sets up a table. Jack stands around a lot before finally laying DeVito out and climbing the balcony. The big dive connects more safely this time and Jack staggers back to the ring, where Nova and Chetti are beating up Angel. A big guitar shot knocks Angel out but New Jack grabs a chair and blasts him in the head with a top rope chair shot to finally pin Angel.

Rating: F. Is this supposed to mean that New Jack has finally beaten Angel? That’s very impressive as it only took two people beating on Angel for five minutes after Angel already had a match while New Jack was doing something else. This was much more of an angle than a match as they barely had any contact until the ending. Hopefully this ends these two interacting.

Joey explains the opening being so awkward. Apparently Tommy Dreamer staggered into the arena covered in blood thanks to a beating from Justin Credible and Joey didn’t know what to do. Cyrus and Joey bicker and Cyrus mentions that TNN will soon have WWF programming. More on this later.

Steve Corino vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri

Corino is completely different now, having abandoned the cowardly character and becoming a serious old school style wrestler who can brawl with anyone. Tajiri has been thrown out of the Network after refusing to hand the TV Title to Rhino, thus turning face in the process. Corino is fighting for the Network here but offers to let Tajiri off. This turns into a racist tirade and Tajiri is ready to fight.

Tajiri misses a big kick to the head and Corino nails him with an enziguri. A hurricanrana is countered into a sitout powerbomb to give Steve two but Tajiri comes back with the Tarantula. They head to the ramp where Tajiri nails him with a kick to the ribs and a brainbuster to send Corino to the floor. Corino is already busted so Tajiri bites at the cut as is the custom in ECW. Back in and Steve is put in the Tree of Woe for the sliding kick to the face. There is a pool of blood under Corino’s head.

Tajiri loads up another baseball slide with a chair over Steve’s face but Jack Victory makes the save. Corino comes back with a superkick for one but his long blond hair is now almost entirely red. Steve can’t follow up so Tajiri sets up a table but kicks the edge of it, driving the other end into Steve’s ribs. You can’t see the blond in Corino’s hair anymore. Tajiri clotheslines Corino and Victory down but Corino pops back up with a backdrop through the table for two.

Corino gets two off a fisherman’s suplex and a northern lights gets the same. Steve sets up a table in the corner but gets kicked down to the mat. Tajiri puts on the Octopus Hold and Victory gets the green mist. The distraction lets Steve escape and grab a powerslam for a near fall. Tajiri goes INSANE with some of the fastest kicks and punches I’ve ever seen, followed by a big kick to the head. Corino is laid out on the table and a big double stomp from the top drives him through for the pin.

Rating: B. This was a really solid match with both guys looking great and Corino looking like a warrior out there. It’s a good example of two talented guys being able to have their skills shine through instead of getting bogged down by all the weapons and nonsense. Corino would gain a lot of respect very soon, partially because of this performance.

W*ING Kanemura comes out to attack Tajiri but Dusty Rhodes makes the save with elbows to the head. Rhino comes out to beat up the American Dream but we’ve got Sandman, segueing into the next match.

TV Title: Sandman vs. Rhino

Sandman’s entrance takes WAY too much time, but at least some of the blood gets cleaned up. Sandman seems especially calm for someone whose wife was nearly broken in half. Rhino throws him around with ease but Sandman comes back with left hands to send it to the floor. We get the first table thrown into the ring but Rhino wants the timekeeper’s table. Sandman nails him with some more left hands and puts the table on the ramp.

Rhino is sent into the barricade before they both get up on the ramp. The table is set up against the ropes on the ramp but Rhino’s Gore misses Sandman and only hits the wood. They head inside with Sandman hitting two straight piledrivers. Jack Victory tries to interfere but Lori nails him in the back with a Singapore cane.

Sandman goes after them but Rhino nails him from behind. Lori is dragged to the ring and piledriven off the apron through a table at ringside. Corino and Victory set up the table in the corner and drag Lori in front of it. Rhino loads up a Gore but Sandman canes him in the head. He goes to Lori but takes the Gore through the table to retain Rhino’s title.

Rating: D-. This was horrible with Sandman dragging down the young and talented Rhino. I don’t see the need to have Lori get beaten up again but at least the fans didn’t cheer when it happened. They’re setting up Rhino vs. Van Dam for a war but Sandman is really making these things hard to sit through.

Rhino yells at Lori, telling her Happy Mother’s Day.

The announcers talk all serious while talking about the company website and showing the Pervert Productions section. I think you can fill in the gaps.

Rob Van Dam vs. Jerry Lynn

Lynn has been more aggressive lately and is angry over not being as respected as Van Dam. Rob has Bill Alfonso and Scotty Anton with him. Van Dam is just insanely over. Scotty and Rob hug before the match because they’re best friends and would NEVER turn on each other. Feeling out process to start with the fans entirely behind Van Dam. Both guys speed things up but neither can hit anything with Van Dam’s flip legdrop missing, giving us a standoff.

Rob’s spin kick misses but the second connects, setting up a cartwheel into a moonsault for two. They head outside with Lynn getting crotched on the barricade and kicked in the face to knock him into the crowd. The spinning kick to the back drives a chair into Lynn’s spine but Van Dam is slow getting up. Van Dam misses a moonsault press off the barricade and Lynn takes over back inside.

Lynn jumps to the middle rope but his tornado DDT is countered and both guys nail kicks at the same time. Alfonso puts in a chair but Lynn counters two straight Van Daminators. Instead Rob drops the chair and tries a legsweep but Jerry hits a Fameasser onto the chair for two. A stepover kick to the face and Rolling Thunder get two for Rob and he skateboards the chair into Jerry’s face in the corner for two more.

The monkey flip onto the chair is countered and Lynn hits a powerbomb out of the corner onto the chair for his first near fall in awhile. A gorgeous superplex drops Rob for yet another two. Lynn sends him into the buckle and sets up a table on the floor. Rob counters a tornado DDT through the table and heads back inside, only to get crotched on the top rope.

A bulldog from Jerry drives Van Dam through the table and both guys are down. Jerry gets back up and tries a running dive off the apron but he misses Rob and hits Anton. Back in and Lynn’s back is bleeding from the bulldog. Rob crotches him on the top rope and hits a Van Daminator with Alfonso’s help. Even Joey is getting tired of Alfonso’s interference. The chair is laid over Lynn and the Five Star connects as Cyrus leaves commentary.

Corino and Victory come in but Lynn fights them off, squashing rumors that he’s in the Network. Rhino comes in and Gores Lynn before powerbombing Rob. Van Dam fights back but Cyrus comes in and takes a Van Daminator. Jerry dropkicks a chair into Alfonso’s face but gets kicked down again. Rob goes up for the Five Star but Anton turns on him, surprising no one at all. Lynn didn’t see what Scotty did, which will be brought up on commentary later. Rob’s head slams into the ramp but the cradle piledriver only gets two. A second one onto a chair is good enough for Lynn to FINALLY pin Van Dam.

Rating: B. The Network is swallowing the entire promotion at this point. This match could have been done exactly the same way with just Alfonso and Anton but it’s ECW so you have to overbook it. It was the usual entertaining match between these two, but the win doesn’t do anything for Jerry at this point as he should have gotten the TV Title a year ago. It’s still the biggest win of his career but it doesn’t mean nearly as much as it could have. That was Van Dam’s first pinfall loss in two and a half years.

ECW World Title: Lance Storm vs. Justin Credible vs. Tommy Dreamer

Francine and Dawn Marie are at ringside as well. Before the match Justin says this is going to be one on one with him vs. Lance. If anyone comes out to face him besides Storm and Storm alone, he’ll throw the belt in the garbage. This brings out Dreamer but Heyman cuts him off, saying Justin has them by the balls right now and promising Dreamer another shot at Heat Wave. Dreamer shakes Storm’s hand, flips Heyman off, and leaves. Yet another bait and switch.

ECW World Title: Lance Storm vs. Justin Credible

Storm goes right after the champion to start and Justin bails to the floor to stall. Back in and Lance nails some right hands before dropkicking Credible back to the floor. Lance’s dive hits Singapore cane though and he’s already busted open. Both guys are sent into the barricade and Justin sets up a table on the ramp. Back in and they trade chops with Lance getting the better of it, only to charge into a boot in the corner.

The fans LOUDLY chant that they want Dreamer as Justin puts on a chinlock. Back up and a clothesline drops Lance and they trade loud chops. The fans realize Dreamer isn’t coming and quiet down a lot. A thumb to the eye puts Storm back down and we hit the chinlock again. Storm fights up again and grabs a hurricanrana to get a breather before hammering away in the corner.

In a really impressive athletic display, Storm jumps from the mat to the top rope for a back elbow to the jaw. Storm gets another two off a dropkick and they fight over a tombstone until Storm suplexes him down for another two. Credible nails a superkick for two of his own but Storm rolls through a cross body to get a breather. Justin’s abdominal stretch is countered into a hiptoss over the top rope and through the table for two back inside.

Back up and Storm hooks the half crab in the middle of the ring but Francine nails him with her high heeled shoe. Dawn comes in for a catfight, earning her That’s Incredible from the champion. Storm nails Justin with the Singapore cane and gets two off a piledriver. That’s Incredible is only good for two and a DDT gets the same. Storm comes back with a catapult into the post and a dropkick to the side of the head but gets crotched on the top rope. Another That’s Incredible retains Justin’s title.

Rating: D+. The match was watchable but Justin is a huge letdown after guys like Taz, Awesome, Tanaka and even Dreamer. The guy just isn’t a main event level guy no matter how much ECW tries to shine him up. He’s nothing more than a loudmouth in jean shorts that can’t back it up in the ring at all. This would be Storm’s last match as he went to WCW over Heyman not being able to pay him.

Dreamer comes out and destroys both Credible and Francine to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This show was watchable for the most part but the bad parts bring down the good stuff that the show had going for it. The problem here is where we should go now. It seems like we’re heading for Rob Van Dam vs. Scotty Anton, which is a meaningless match for Rob because no one cares about Anton and another waste of how over he is. Lynn getting the win is nice for him but where can he go? Against Rhino maybe? The real star of the night was Steve Corino who looked like a warrior going through that bloodbath, but he’s still stuck in the Network angle that is taking over everything.

ECW on TNN
Date: May 12, 2000
Location: University Sports Pavillion, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

It’s the go home show for Hardcore Heaven and there really isn’t all that much set up for the card. We’re getting RVD vs. Lynn and Credible vs. Storm for the title (in theory) but I’m not sure what else we should expect. Knowing ECW I’m sure there will be some impromptu matches because Heyman expects his guys to be insane and get into arguments without a card being necessary. Let’s get to it.

We open with the Sinister Minster and Mikey Whipwreck in the back talking about their usual evil when the cameraman hears something. It turns out that Mikey has lit him on fire because Whipwreck is a weird dude.

Joel does his limerick about debuting in Minneapolis until Dreamer comes out. He can’t say anything though because Simon Diamond comes out to complain about not being taken seriously. Clearly Dreamer has lost his touch and isn’t as hungry as he used to be. You know those are fighting words.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Simon Diamond

They’re almost immediately on the floor and brawling in the crowd as is Dreamer’s custom. Tommy hammers away in the crowd and knocks Simon around like the comedy guy that he is. The Prodigy finally validates his employment by clotheslining Dreamer, only to have Tommy come right back with a suplex. He ties Simon in the Tree of Woe and stands on his crotch in the corner before hitting the running dropkick into a chair onto Diamond’s face. More goons try to interfere so Simon can DDT him down, only to have the referee take a chair away from Diamond. Back up and Dreamer’s DDT is enough for the pin.

Rating: D. So wait, ECW can have traditional rules thrown out the window but when Dreamer is in trouble the referee actually does his job? The match was just there to give Dreamer a win when he’s going into a big match on Sunday. Other than that there’s just nothing here and it’s your traditional ECW TV match.

Jerry Lynn vs. Lance Storm

There must be a winner. Jerry dropkicks him off the apron to start and nails a nice flip dive off the apron for good measure. They head inside for the first time with Lance coming back with a quick superkick and two before throwing on what would become the Canadian Maple Leaf. That goes nowhere as Jerry kicks away and tries a rollup for two, firing off a nice pinfall reversal sequence for some two counts.

Time for a chair because Heaven forbid we get to have something like the good wrestlers wrestling. Lynn kicks it into Storm’s face and nails a tornado DDT onto the chair for two as Dawn Marie offers a distraction. Justin Credible comes in with a crutch and nails Lynn by mistake, giving Storm the fluke pin.

Rating: D+. This was going to be better just based on who was in the match. That being said, there’s only so much you can do with a little under seven minutes and interference included. It wasn’t terrible and at least it helps to set up something for Sunday. You know, for the pay per view that is barely mentioned.

Dreamer comes out to fight go after Justin, only to have Storm dive on both and start a three way brawl.

Back from a break with Lynn down in the ring and Cyrus coming out for a chat. We get straight to the cheap heat with Cyrus making fun of Minnesota, which gets on Jerry’s nerves. Cyrus offers him a spot in the Network but Tajiri comes out to break it up. Lynn nails Tajiri with a clothesline but says he did it for himself and not the Network.

Jerry leaves and here are Corino and Victory to go after Tajiri. He comes back with kicks but here’s Rhino to start a match.

TV Title: Rhino vs. Tajiri

Tajiri hammers away to start and nails the handspring elbow. They head outside for a moonsault off the apron before throwing a table inside. Tajiri blows the mist in Rhino’s eyes but has to kick Corino down. Steve is laid on the table for a top rope double stomp, only to get Gored in half by the champ. Instead of covering though he loads up the piledriver from the apron through a table on the floor to retain the title.

Rating: D+. Not bad here but they needed more time. Tajiri is a guy that can fire off kicks like there’s no tomorrow but he needs something more to fight off a monster like Rhino. This Network stuff is getting old though as Rhino is the kind of monster that doesn’t need help to get anywhere yet for some reason that’s all we see.

Sandman comes out for the save and gets nailed as well, drawing out Van Dam for the real save. A kick to the face drops Rhino and the Five Star ends the show.

Overall Rating: D. Please let this show die already. The stuff we’re sitting through here is already old as it’s just running in circles. With the World Title out of the Network story, it makes the belt seem even more worthless. This goes back to the old idea of the TV Title meaning more than the World Title which is one of those things that ECW always did and never quite held up. Just make Rob the top guy already and be done with it.

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Today is a guy who has potential if he’s used right: Zema Ion.

Ion got his start back in 2004 but we’ll pick things up at the Super Indy VI tournament on May 11, 2007 with Ion wrestling under the name Shiima Xion.

Super Indy Quarterfinals: Ruckus vs. Shiima Xion

They trade wristlocks to start until Ruckus backflips into a headscissors. Ion comes right back with a hurricanrana and armdrag of his own to take over. Ruckus kicks him to the floor but gets slammed onto the concrete. Ion loads up another one but Ruckus slips down the back and posts Ion instead. Ruckus gets nailed in the face and nailed with a shooting star off the apron.

Back in and Ruckus flips a lot with a kick to the face getting two. He hooks Ion in a sunset flip but reaches down to grab Ion’s neck for kind of a reverse Crossface. Zema blocks a handspring elbow with a knee to the back but walks into a front flip neckbreaker. Ruckus misses a moonsault legdrop to give Ion two but a Fillipino Destroyer (a kind of reverse Dirty Deeds) for the pin.

Rating: D+. One guy did some moves, another guy did some moves, Ion beat him with a stupid looking move. This was the definition of the indy style that I really don’t care for: there’s no psychology or flow to the match and it’s just doing moves for the sake of doing moves. That gets old fast but thankfully it wasn’t that long of a match.

We’ll jump ahead to TNA now, starting with Destination X 2011.

Austin Aries vs. Low Ki vs. Zema Ion vs. Jack Evans

Winner gets a contract. Christy of course messes up something, in this case Aries’ entrance. We get some clips of their qualifying matches during each guy’s entrance. Winner gets a contract of course. No tagging here thank goodness. Aries gets a quick two count on Ion as the fans chant “everybody.” Aries and Low Ki (Kaval for the uneducated) square off and Evans starts flipping.

Spin kick by Evans gets two on Ion. Low Ki takes over again and hammers on Evans in the corner. Aries takes Low Ki down and uses some Hogan in late 90s offense for some reason. He beats up everyone but takes a triple dropkick to send him down. Evans starts flipping again and hits a dropsault to get two on Ion. Ion gets his turn to be on offense and gets a bunch of two counts.

Aries takes Ion down and has another showdown with Low Ki. After getting attacked they both throw submissions on the guys that jumped them. They manage to yell insults at each other while they have the holds. Ok that was cool. With the others outside they argue again and chop it out. Aries loads up the brainbuster but Low Ki escapes and gets a big kick to Aries’ back. Evans and Ion are back in now and Ion gets a knee to Evans’ face for two. Pendulum elbow gets two for Aries.

Ion clears the ring and takes over but Aries stops a dive. Aries tries a suicide dive but Low Ki gets a fast kick up to send him flying backwards. Evans comes in and flips a lot but spins around too much as Aries takes him down with a spinning forarm. The fans chant sign them all. Ion and Aries are the only ones up right now. Aries gets a neckbreaker on the rope to put Ion down. Low Ki gets a cartwheel into a kick to knock Aries off the top and also get two.

Evans blocks a Warrior’s Way to Aries with a rana, getting two. He calls for the 630 but Ion breaks it up. Ion hits the 450 on Low Ki but Aries makes the save. Using the distraction, Evans fires off the 630 but eats knees. Aries hammers on Evans and hits the brainbuster on Low Ki to win the contract. Probably the best choice.

Rating: B. Can’t really complain here as this was what the X–Division was built on. The fans got their flips and probably the best possible outcome here with Aries arguably being the best guy here. I’d expect to see all of them again in the future which is probably the best thing, especially with how weak the division has been lately. Fun match.

Ion would be back in TNA for Genesis 2012.

X-Division Title: Zema Ion vs. Kid Kash vs. Austin Aries vs. Jesse Sorensen

I didn’t know this but it’s elimination rules. The fans seem to like Jesse the most. Aries chills on the floor to start and Sorensen cleans house. A northern lights gets two on Ion and Aries comes in. This is one of those matches where there’s no point in trying to keep track of everything that’s going on. Kash and Aries are sent to the floor and after Ion is put up top it’s the Tower of Doom! That hasn’t been used in awhile.

Aries goes up top but Ion shoves him down to the floor onto Kash. Ion hits a big corkscrew plancha to the floor to take the two of them out. Sorensen of course follows in the customary series of dives. Still gets a great reaction from the crowd too. Jesse gets two on Aries back inside. Ion gets sent into the corner so Kash tries a superplex, but Aries is whipped into the corner to send Kash crashing. Ion stands up and hits the 450 on Kash to put him out first.

Aries busts out the 450 on Sorensen for just two. The fans are WAY behind Jesse here. Top rope cross body gets two on Aries. A suplex into a cutter kind of move gets the same as Ion breaks up the pin because he’s an idiot. Ion goes after Jesse but walks into a small package for the second elimination to get us down to one on one. Aries rolls up Sorensen but Ion has the referee.

Brainbuster is countered into the Game Changer (Test Drive into a DDT) but Ion’s distraction keeps it at just two. Aries breaks up something off the top but runs into a boot in the corner. Ion is ducked out of sight on the floor. Sorensen goes up but Ion crotches him, letting Aries dropkick him and a middle rope brainbuster keeps the title on Aries 10:59.

Rating: C+. I was really liking this until the ending. Sorensen has been built up for awhile now and the fans are clearly behind him, but they need to pull the trigger on him if they’re going to. Restocking the division is a good idea, but if all the guys keep losing it’s not really going to do them any good. The match was fun though and a high flying match to open the show is a tried and true idea.

Here’s a double shot at Destination X 2012.

X-Division Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Zema Ion vs. Flip Cassanova

Ion stares down Sorensen as he comes through the curtain. That could be an incredible moment when they have their match. Hopefully this match is short though as Cassanova was downright dangerous on Impact. Ion kicks him in the head to start and clotheslines Flip down. Ion misses a clothesline and Cassanova sends him to the floor, followed by a flip dive.

That gets Cassanova nowhere so Ion pounds him right back down. Cassanova gets sent to the floor for a baseball slide to send him down again. Back in and Flip kicks Ion down and hits a namesake moonsault for two. The flip dive that he won with on Impact misses here and Ion ends this with a modified Gory Bomb.

Rating: D+. This was just a step above a squash. Now hopefully we never see Cassanova and his dangerous self for a LONG time. He didn’t have the chance to screw much stuff here and for the sake of Ion, that’s a very good thing. Ion looked decent here, which is about how he’s looked the entire time he’s been around: not bad but nothing great.

And the second match that night.

X-Division Title: Mason Andrews vs. Kenny King vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Zema Ion

It’s Ultimate X and the title is vacant coming in. Ion puts in some hairspray and goes for a quick win, only to be brought down just as quickly. He runs to the corner but dives at the three guys instead. That goes just as badly as Ion dives into three dropkicks at the same time. Things start speeding up and Dutt is the only one left. He goes up but King breaks it up. Ion breaks up the breaking up and it’s Andrews vs. Ion at the moment.

King comes back in and counters an Andrews DDT by suplexing him into Ion who was in the Tree of Woe. King and Dutt slug it out on the apron and a cartwheel kick knocks Dutt to the floor. Kenny goes for the belt but Dutt takes him down with a springboard dropkick. Dutt fires off a standing shooting star but hits his arm on the rope in the process. Keep that in mind. Ion makes a run for the belt but Andrews and King make the save. The two saviors go to the corner and Andrews suplexes King down.

Dutt is being takes out of the match because of his arm/elbow/shoulder. Ion goes for the belt but gets brought down into an atomic drop from Andrews. King and Ion go to the floor with Andrews hitting a flip dive over the top to take both guys down. Andrews goes for the title but King hits a springboard spear to take him down in a good looking spot.

Here’s Dutt again, after having his arm/elbow/shoulder being popped back into place. King and Andrews go for the belt but they knock each other down. Ion and Dutt go up top onto the structure which makes my fear of heights cringe. They slug it out up there and slip down onto the cables, but Ion sprays Sonjay with the hairspray. That knocks Dutt down and Ion wins the title.

Rating: B-. This was pretty good and I can live with Ion as the champion. Unfortunately his main feud is going to be months away as Sorensen isn’t going to be ready for a long time. As for now that, he’s ok I guess but King probably would have been the best choice. Still though, decent match and a solid performance from Dutt as he worked through injury. That’s probably the first feud too, which should be good.

Time for a title defense at Hardcore Justice 2012.

X-Division Title: Kenny King vs. Zema Ion

King is challenging. Feeling out process to start with King finally taking over with a headlock. A backslide gets two as does La Majistral. Back to the headlock and then out to the floor with King hitting a sweet flip dive off the apron. They head back inside for a second but King is knocked back outside where the champ hits a flip dive of his own. Ion hits a neckbreaker for two and it’s off to a chinlock.

That only lasts a few seconds as Ion chokes instead. Now we get a longer lasting chinlock followed by a DDT for two. King comes back with an atomic drop and things speed up a bit. A high collar throw puts Ion into the corner and out to the floor. King hits a BIG corkscrew dive to the floor which gets two back in.

The modified F5 is broken up but King puts on a half crab of all things. A kick similar to Trouble in Paradise misses and a flipping backbreaker gets two for Ion. King hits a knee to the head for two and knocks the hairspray out of Ion’s hand. They head to the corner and King sets for some kind of sunset flip but gets countered into something like a shoulderbreaker for the pin by Ion to retain at 11:03.

Rating: D+. Ion is really freaking boring. At the end of the day all he has is big hair and that’s nothing interesting at all. I get that they want to wait on Sorensen to come back and take the title from him in a big moment, but do we have to sit through him as champion that long? Nothing to see here and Ion winning was a letdown as he was shown up in this match.

Here’s the opener from Bound For Glory 2012.

X-Division Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Zema Ion

Ion is defending and is obsessed with his hair. There’s no story here because there wasn’t time to get one together. Literally the Thursday before the show, Van Dam came out and said he was challenging for the title here. The fans are entirely behind Rob here as you would expect them to be. Feeling out process to start as Rob goes after Ion’s hair to take over. A few kicks to the face send Zema outside but he’s able to run away from Rob’s dive.

Back in and Rob ducks a clothesline but gets caught by a low dropkick. The ring is very loud here. Something like a Whisper in the Wind gets two for the champion but he gets crotched on the ropes and kicked back out to the floor. Rob takes a well deserved bow as this has been mostly one sided so far. The champ comes back in by diving through the ropes into a tornado DDT for a pair of near falls.

Rob gets shoved off the top and down onto the barricade, setting up a big flip dive from Ion. Zema throws him back in and blocks a monkey flip with a kind of hot shot. A missile dropkick gets two on Rob and the champion puts on an abdominal stretch to slow things down. That goes nowhere so they slug it out until Rob throws him into the air for a dropkick to the ribs. Rolling Thunder sets up the Five Star for the clean pin and the title.

Rating: C+. I liked this more than I thought I would with Ion being a perfectly adequate foil for the feel good title win. Rob broke a bit of a sweat here but there wasn’t a huge doubt as to who was winning. Ion had been champion for three months at this point and there wasn’t much else he could do with it so giving it to Rob to make him look like he still means something is a good idea.

Zema was in the Ultimate X match at X-Travaganza.

Zema Ion vs. Mason Andres vs. Rubix vs. Kenny King

In case you couldn’t tell, this is Ultimate X. Tenay says this is “just the 29^th time we’ve unleashed Ultimate X.” Yep, just 29 in ten years. By comparison, there have been 14 TLC matches in 13 years. The idea here is there are two ropes crossing way above the ring, forming an X. At their intersection there’s a big red X and whoever pulls that down wins. You have to use the ropes above the ring to pull yourself to the X to pull it down as the ropes are about seven feet above the top ropes of the ring.

Everything breaks down to start with Ion being sent to the floor. Rubix and Andrews go at it with Rubix taking him to the mat with an armdrag. King takes Rubix down with a sidekick but Ion is back in to take Kenny down as well. Andrews and Ion head down to the floor with King hitting a spinning springboard legdrop on Rubix back inside. Everyone is on the floor now as Taz keeps up his stupid jokes by calling Rubix Rubic like the cube.

Andrews and Ion are back inside with Mason going up, only to be pulled back down by Zema. Rubix comes back in with a sweet dropkick to Ion, sending him out to the floor. Rubix drops a slingshot legdrop on Andrews but Mason comes right back and pounds away on Ion in the corner. Ion slams Rubix down off the top as the match slows down a lot. King goes after Rubix’s mask in the corner but Andrews suplexes him off the top to save Rubix’s identity (which would be Jigsaw from Chikara).

Andrews stops Rubix from going for the X as Taz keeps the stupid running joke going. King dives out onto Rubix so Andrews dives down onto King to take both guys down. Ion hits a BIG corkscrew dive off the top onto Andrews and King to a rather weak reaction from the crowd. Rubix climbs up the structure in the corner to dive onto all three guys before heading back inside to go after the X.

It’s Kenny making the save though by pulling Rubix down into the Royal Flush to send Rubix to the floor. Ion crotches King in the corner but Kenny sends Zema to the floor to break up a superplex. Andrews manages to pull King down but Ion stops him from climbing across. Rubix comes back in and hits a dropkick on Ion and a tornado DDT on Andrews at the same time. Everyone is in a corner now and it’s Andrews going up, only to be pulled down into a German suplex by Rubix.

Rubix goes to the corner, only to be shoved down by Ion. Rubix and King team up to stop Ion with Rubix sending Ion into the structure in the corner. A dropkick takes King down but Andrews drives a knee into Rubix’s head. Ion and Andrews go across the ropes and meet in the middle above the ring with Andrews pulling Ion down in a Downward Spiral. In an anti-climactic ending, Rubix goes up and pulls down the X….but apparently he has to touch the mat. King catches him on the way down and steals the X to win.

Rating: B-. This was fun but the highspots were kind of lacking. It’s definitely entertaining, but again this doesn’t really mean anything and it was pretty clear that King or Ion was going to get the win. King stealing it was a nice touch but this was lacking the huge death defying nature of most of the Ultimate X matches.

Here’s a triple threat match at Lockdown 2013.

X-Division Title: Kenny King vs. Christian York vs. Zema Ion

King is defending. York knocks the champion down to start before clotheslining Ion down as well. King goes to the floor to let the other guys fight, only to have York dive out onto him, ramming King into the barricade. Ion loads up a dive of his own but runs into a boot from York. King tries to use Ion’s body as a springboard but slips off and rams his head into the guardrail in a SCARY looking landing. Ion dives on both York and King anyway before heading back inside with York.

Thankfully King is still alive and comes back in to break up a York cover before pounding away on Christian in the corner. Ion is down on the floor as York chops away at King, only to be poked in the eye. Zema comes back in with a quick rana off the top rope for two on York. A moonsault gets the same result and Ion is frustrated.

York hits a quick legdrop on King for two but Ion baseball slides King to the floor. A slingshot into a DDT gets two on York for Ion as King gets back in. Ion is sent out to the entrance ramp where King drops a leg to keep him down. York pulls Ion back inside for two and all three men are back inside. King loads up a top rope fallaway slam on Ion, only to have York add a powerbomb to make it a Tower of Doom. Christian gets control by hammering away on all three guys, including a suplex on King for no cover.

The Mood Swing neckbreaker gets two on Ion for York and a Capo Kick sends King into the corner. In an interesting combo, York DDTs King as Ion neckbreakers York, with Zema getting two on both guys. York hits a top rope double stomp to Ion’s back and a corner roll at King. Kenny comes back with a kick to Ion’s head but York rolls through the Royal Flush for two. Not that it matters as another attempt at the Flush ends York to retain the title at 11:10.

Rating: C. This was good, but at the same time it came off much more like a collection of spots rather than a coherent match. I’m not wild on matches like that, especially when there are that many botches. The one with King at the beginning was scary with him slipping down and nearly breaking his neck in the process. That’s scary stuff.

We’ll jump ahead a bit to Ion cashing in his Feast or Fired briefcase for a shot at the X-Division title on Impact, February 6, 2014.

X-Division Title: Austin Aries vs. Zema Ion

Ion gets two early near falls before a baseball slide to the back puts Aries down again. Austin comes back with a chop but is sent into the barricade to put him down again. A slingshot DDT gets two on Aries but Ion misses a corkscrew moonsault, allowing Aries to hit a discus forearm and a release belly to back suplex. There’s the running corner dropkick and a brainbuster retains Aries’ title at 2:11.

Ion was in action at X-Travaganza II.

Ultimate X Qualifying Match: DJZ vs. Rashad Cameron

DJZ takes him into the corner but hides from the threat of a right hand. Cameron gains control and cranks on a headlock, causing DJZ to yell about Cameron touching his hair. Naturally Rashad pulls him down by the hair before putting on DJZ’s headset. He throws the headphones in the air for a distraction and chops DJZ down, only to have his dive attempt broken up. DJZ stomps in the corner and gets two off a flapjack.

We hit the chinlock and Tenay throws a big wrench into the whole concept of the night. Apparently these are NOT qualifying matches, at least not in the traditional sense. Only Cameron can qualify for whatever reason, meaning that if DJZ wins, both guys’ night is done. The idea is current X-Division guys vs. outsiders and only the outsiders can qualify. So if the TNA roster wins in a sweep, there’s no Ultimate X? How do they manage to screw up something this easy? Why do they need to make something this simple so complicated? Such is life in TNA.

Anyway, Cameron fights out of a chinlock but gets dropped ribs first onto the top rope. The fans chant DJ CHICKEN LEGS as DJZ misses a charge and falls out to the floor, setting up a big flip dive (Tenay’s words) to take DJZ down again. Back in and a high cross body and hurricanrana get two each for Cameron. With DJZ hunched over, Cameron jumps backwards from the middle rope into a cutter. I’ve never liked that move. Cameron misses a top rope splash but comes back with a small package for the pin.

Rating: C. The match wasn’t bad but DJZ really doesn’t do anything for me in the ring. The story here though was how hard my mind was blown by the stipulations. Insiders vs. outsiders is a fine idea, but why in the world would you not just let the winners into Ultimate X? I don’t see the benefit of having the active roster guys get nothing for a win, but to be fair there’s a lot of stuff about TNA I don’t get.

Slammiversary 2014 was held in Dallas so it’s time for some Von Erichs.

Bro Mans vs. Ross Von Erich/Marshall Von Erich

Marshall wrestles barefoot like Kevin did. This is DJZ and Jesse for the team tonight. Marshall cleans house on DJZ to start but can’t hook the Claw. A powerslam puts DJZ back down and it’s off to the older Ross for some dropkicks. Jesse breaks up something off the top rope and DJZ hits a nice flip dive to take Ross down on the ramp.

Back in and Jesse nails a dropkick bur Ross avoids a second one and makes the hot tag to Marshall. Everything breaks down and Ross hits a missile dropkick to put both guys down. Jesse brings in a chair but gets it dropkicked into his face, setting up a series of basic double team moves from the brothers. Not that it matters as DJZ brings in the chair for the DQ at 5:07.

Rating: D+. Well that was a waste of pay per view time. The Von Erichs looked ok at best but it’s clear that they need ring time more than anything else. They didn’t know how to finish a match yet and it looked like they needed to get through a bunch of spots instead of bringing the match to a close. Not terrible, but the ending really didn’t work for me.

One more messy X-Divison match on Impact, September 3, 2014.

Homicide vs. DJZ vs. Craazy Steve vs. Low Ki vs. Manik vs. Tigre Uno

Winner gets an X-Division Title shot at some point in the future and this is one fall to a finish. Low Ki hammers on Tigre to start before hitting a kind of spinebuster for two. A fisherman’s suplex gets the same with all four other guys making the save. Off to Manik vs.Homicide with the masked man being sent into the ropes for a tag to DJZ.

Steve comes in with a sunset flip for two on DJZ before everything breaks down. DJZ and Steve are sent to the floor with Low Ki and Tigre being backdropped after them. Manik and Homicide trade some suplex attempts until Manik jumps into a cutter. The Gringo Killa gives Homicide the title shot at 4:32.

Rating: D+. Well that happened. There’s no story, there’s no psychology, there’s absolutely nothing we haven’t seen before. This division is such a disaster at this point as it’s back to the old habit of some big multiman match to set up a one off title shot and then do it all over again. That gets really old really fast and we reached that point a long time ago.

Ion doesn’t do much for me. He’s a guy that’s just kind of there with all of his flips and stereotypical X-Division style and that gets old after awhile. I like him FAR better as the annoying DJZ but the in ring work just isn’t there. He’s much better suited for an indy company that a big one like TNA, but the DJZ character works fine.

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Today we have a modern day evil foreign monster with Rusev.

After being trained by Gangrel and Rikishi, Rusev would sign a developmental deal in 2011. Here’s his debut match on FCW TV in June 2011.

Mike Dalton vs. Alexander Rusev

Dalton is currently known as Tyler Breeze. Rusev drives him into the corner to start and hits some nice jumping knees to the face. He hooks a full nelson and drives Dalton face first into the buckle for a nice move. Dalton finally gets up a boot in the corner and gets two off a victory roll. Rusev actually rolls some Germans for the pin to complete the squash.

We’ll jump ahead a bit to a tag match on FCW TV, March 4, 2012.

FCW Tag Team Titles: Bo Rotundo/Husky Harris vs. Antonio Cesaro/Alexander Rusev

Rotundo and Harris (Bo Dallas and Bray Wyatt) are defending. Rusev and Harris get things going with some hard headlocks before a double shoulder block doesn’t get us anywhere. Off to Bo but Rusev takes him into the corner for a beating from Cesaro. Back to Rusev for some kicks to the back as the foreign heels take over. Cesaro cranks on the arm before Rusev comes in to do the same. Bo rolls away for the hot tag to Harris as everything breaks down. Rotundo spears Rusev out of nowhere to give Harris the pin.

Rating: D+. There’s an ending that would change a lot of things today. It’s always interesting to see where these guys were before theys tarted on the main roster and this is a great example of something like that happening. These guys are almost all different today with maybe the exception of Cesaro, and the changes have all been for the better. Well in theory at least.

One more FCW match on June 24, 2012.

Alexander Rusev/Colin Cassady vs. Ascension

This is the original Ascension tag team of Conor O’Brien and Kenneth Cameron (Bram in TNA). Ascension’s entrance is totally awesome here and makes the guys look like total monsters. Colin and Cameron get things going but it’s quickly off to O’Brien for some power shoving. Colin actually drops him with a shoulder but Conor comes back with an armbar.

Rusev low bridges O’Brien to the floor and Colin hits a nice fall away slam, complete with a power stare to Cameron. Off to Rusev for some right hands as Cesaro (on commentary) talks about Rusev’s outdoor training regimen. O’Brien nails a knee to the face and the hot tag brings in Cameron. A victory roll gets two on Rusev and Ascension screams a lot. O’Brien plants Rusev with a downward spiral for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not a bad power match here and again it’s interesting to see these guys with different characters before they became what they were best known for. Ascension was much more interesting at this point before they became regular power brawlers. The supernatural elements to them made the team more intimidating but unfortunately that fell apart.

Off to regular NXT now, starting on August 21, 2013.

Alexander Rusev vs. Dolph Ziggler

Rusev is a very big man from Bulgaria who breaks a piece of wood with Ziggler’s name on it over his knee. Ziggler is WAY over with the crowd. Both guys are slow to start with Rusev trying basic power stuff and Ziggler easily countering everything thrown at him so he can strut a bit. Alexander throws him into the corner and Ziggler gets serious. He staggers Rusev with a dropkick but his cross body is caught in mid air. Alexander rams knees into Ziggler’s back and drops him on the floor for a breather.

Back in and a running shoulder to the ribs gets two on Dolph. Rusev puts on a quick body vice but misses a second running charge into the corner. Dolph hits a good looking dropkick for two but walks into a running knee to the ribs for the same result. Back up and Ziggler hits a quick Fameasser for two but Rusev comes back with a nice spinwheel kick (for a guy weighing over 300lbs) for another near fall. He misses a top rope splash though, allowing Ziggler to hit the Zig Zag for the pin at 6:14.

Rating: C+. I liked this more than I thought I would. Rusev has potential to him as he’s got a good look and moved very well for a guy his size. Ziggler did his job perfectly out there by making Rusev look far better than he would have otherwise. This was a very nice surprise as you would have expected a squash but got a solid match instead.

Another match in NXT on December 11, 2013.

Alexander Rusev vs. Kassius Ohno

Lana introduces Rusev who looks more and more awesome every time he’s out there. This is a result of Ohno beating Rusev’s time in the Beat the Clock Challenge a few weeks back. Rusev takes him into the corner to start and drops Ohno with a single right hand. He lifts Kassius up for a slam before driving knees into his ribs in midair.

Ohno gets slammed down for two and Alexander stays on the back and ribs. We hit the bearhug for a bit before another forearm to the back puts Ohno down. Ohno gets a forearm to the face to set up a small package for two. That’s the extent of his offense as Rusev runs him over and the Accolade ends Ohno at 3:05.

Rating: D. Total and complete squash here as Ohno leaves the company looking like a jobber. He never clicked in this company at all but at least his comments after leaving have been nothing but positive. Rusev has a spot waiting on him on the main roster once they finally make the call and he’ll take a lot of people apart.

One more NXT match against a main roster name on January 1, 2014.

Alexander Rusev vs. Kofi Kingston

Rusev pounds Kofi into the corner as Regal chides Phillips about not being able to talk to Rusev. “If he could talk to you, he wouldn’t need a translator. Fine money spent on your college education.” Kofi is lifted into the air so Rusev can drive knees into his ribs. A Samoan drop gets two on Kofi and a hard shoulder block gets the same.

Alexander misses a running splash and gets dropkicked down. The Boom Drop connects but Rusev heads to the corner so Kofi can’t try Trouble in Paradise. Instead he hits a cross body off the top (good one too despite Kofi slipping on the ropes) for two but a Lana distraction lets Rusev slam Kofi off the top. The Accolade gets the big upset submission from Kofi at 3:52.

Rating: C. Rusev didn’t look great in there but he got a win over a legitimate main roster guy. There’s definitely a future for this guy in the big leagues and he could be something special in the vein of Umaga. Kingston continues to be the same guy he’s been for years and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Rusev would appear in the Royal Rumble but then not get in the ring again until Raw on April 7, 2014.

Alexander Rusev vs. Zack Ryder

Lana is officially named the Ravishing Russian. That won’t last but she looks good in the short skirts. This is exactly what you would expect (plus a nice jumping kick to the face) and ends in 1:19 after the Accolade (Camel clutch) with Ryder tapping very quickly.

Time for a PPY squash at Extreme Rules 2014.

Alexander Rusev vs. R-Truth/Xavier Woods

Lana dedicates the match to the most powerful man in the world and her idol: Vladimir Putin. Truth says there’s no time to rap and dedicates the match to the USA. Before the bell, Woods is kicked in the face and into Truth, knocking both of them to the floor. Rusev hits a release belly to belly on the floor to drop Woods and we get the bell as he hammers away on Truth. Fans: “WE WANT LANA!”

Truth gets crushed in the corner but raises a boot to stop a charging Bulgarian. The backflip into the side kick sets up a middle rope dropkick but Rusev is right back up. Lie Detector has almost no effect but an ax kick gets two. Rusev shrugs it off and slams Truth down before the Accolade gets the submission at 2:51. Woods was being checked by doctors for most of the match.

Off to singles matches on PPV at Payback 2014.

Rusev vs. Big E.

Lana does her thing and Rusev is now from Moscow and weighed in kilos. They both hit their running body attacks to start with neither guy going anywhere. A nasty release German puts Big E. down as the fans want Ziggler. Rusev hits a running splash in the corner but Big E. comes back with a kind of STO. Rusev gets back up on the apron and Big E. spears him through the ropes and out to the floor in a BIG collision. Big E. comes up favoring his arm but is still able to get two. The Warrior Splash is countered by the jumping superkick and the Accolade makes Big E. tap at 3:35.

Rating: C+. Another solid match here with Big E. getting to show off before jobbing to the new monster. That jumping superkick is just awesome with Rusev still making great contact despite getting off the ground. The spear through the ropes looked great too as they’re really playing up the physicality tonight.

Rusev would be in a battle royal on Raw, June 16, 2014 for the final spot in the Money in the Bank ladder match.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Battle Royal

Titus O’Neil, Damien Sandow, Bo Dallas, Jack Swagger, Diego, Fernando, Curtis Axel, Fandango, Dolph Ziggler, Rusev, Ryback, Sin Cara, Santino Marella, Kofi Kingston, Big E., Roman Reigns, Rob Van Dam, Bad News Barrett, Xavier Woods

Those are all the people on the graphic so there’s a chance I missed a few. Damien is LeBron James because why not. Not that it matters as everyone gets together to put him out ten seconds in. Bo throws Santino out and Rusev does the same thing to both Matadores. Woods gets the same treatment from Rusev and everyone brawls for awhile.

Ziggler is sent to the apron and Reigns eliminates Titus. Swagger puts Sin Cara on the apron before catapulting him out. Kofi can’t get Swagger out and Big E. can’t get rid of Axel. Rusev gets Ziggler to the apron but a kick to the head saves Dolph. Kofi finally gets Swagger out and we take a break. Back with Rusev, Reigns, RVD, Ryback, Ziggler, Fandango, Dallas, Big E., Axel and Barrett still in, meaning Kofi (via Ryback) was the only elimination during the break. Speaking of eliminations, Ryback punches Ziggler out to the floor for his second straight elimination.

Reigns starts cleaning house and even takes Rusev down with a Superman Punch but can’t take care of Ryback that easily. Roman sends Fandango to the apron but has to spear Ryback and Axel down. A kick to the head puts Fandango out and Rusev kicks Reigns in the chest. Big E. dumps Ryback and Reigns throws out Axel. Another kick puts Roman down but Van Dam kicks Rusev in the face. Van Dam and Dallas start fighting but Barrett takes Rob down with a big boot.

Rob comes back with more kicks but Bo shoves him off the corner for a surprise elimination. That could be Bo’s first big feud. Barrett lays out a celebrating Bo and throws him to the apron but Bo hangs on. Nice little call back to the Rumble from a few years ago. Reigns dumps Barrett and Dallas knocks out Big E., but walks into the spear. Dallas is dumped and we’re down to Rusev vs. Roman.

The fans are WAY into this and the slugout is on. Reigns gets the early advantage but walks into a wicked spinwheel kick. They trade running charges in the corner and Reigns puts him on the apron. Some big right hands can’t get rid of the Russian but the Superman Punch sends Reigns to Money in the Bank and the crowd is VERY happy.

Rating: B. I was doubting Reigns for awhile but he’s coming off like a STAR at this point, just like Ambrose. This was a really solid battle royal as there were some good saves and the last bit of the match was really solid stuff. The last pairing is how you should do big matches: take two guys who look unbeatable and have them fight. Notice the reaction and you’ll see why that’s an idea.

Rusev would have a match at Money in the Bank as well.

Rusev vs. Big E.

Big E. hammers away to start and actually has some early success. Rusev in knocked to the apron but gets up a knee to stop the spear through the ropes. The gutwrench suplex drops Big E. and we hit a chinlock from Rusev. A splash misses though and Big E. gets two off a belly to belly. Rusev charges into the Rock Bottom out of the corner for two and Big E. avoids the jumping superkick. Another suplex sends Rusev to the apron and now the big spear connects. Back in and the straps come down but Rusev kicks him in the side of the ear. The jumping superkick and Accolade keep Rusev undefeated at 7:19.

Rating: C-. Better than last month’s match between these two but it was still nothing special. Rusev needs to move up a step as he’s defeated Big E. twice in a row now. It’s good to see him get tested a bit though and that’s what this match was designed to do. Those kicks still look good too.

Here’s Rusev’s first big singles match on Raw, July 7, 2014.

Rusev vs. Rob Van Dam

That’s quite the upgrade in opponent. Rob fires off kicks to start but Rusev says bring it on. A slingshot DDT freaks Lana out but Rusev throws Rob off the top to break up the Five Star. He runs Van Dam over and sends him flying with a fallaway slam. We hit the chinlock as Zeb Colter pops up in an inset interview and officially challenges Rusev for Battleground.

Rusev begs Van Dam to hit him in the ribs before putting on a front facelock. A small package gets two for Rob and he gets a boot up in the corner. Rusev is staggered and there’s a top rope kick to the face. Rolling Thunder has to be aborted and Rusev nails the jumping superkick. The Accolade gets the clean submission at 4:38.

Rating: C-. Not a great match but it’s a very good upgrade for Rusev. It’s more proof that Swagger has no chance at Battleground, but the USA chant and Swagger coming in carrying the American flag will be a great visual. Rusev is getting better and that jumping superkick just looks awesome.

The singles match on Smackdown, July 11, 2014.

Rusev vs. Roman Reigns

They lock up to start until Rusev kicks at the legs to take over. Reigns cleans house with right hands and knocks Rusev to the floor as we take a break. Back with Rusev controlling with a nerve hold before he drops Reigns with a spinwheel kick. We hit the nerve hold again before Reigns’ comeback is squashed by a kick to the chest. The fans think Russia sucks and help Roman fight out of the third nerve hold. A running clothesline drops the Russian and a Samoan drop does it again. The apron kick has Lana freaking out and there’s the Superman Punch, drawing in Orton for the DQ at 6:55 shown of 9:25.

Rating: C. This was decent while it lasted but there was no way either guy was getting a clean win here. Also, a nine and a half minute match on Smackdown doens’t have nearly the same atmosphere that these two had in the battle royal. Build these two up a bit more and make it mean something and the match will be much better.

Next up was a patriotic feud with Jack Swagger, including this flag match at Summerslam 2014.

Rusev vs. Jack Swagger

This is a Flag Match, meaning a regular match with the winner’s flag being displayed after the match. Lana talks about how unrealistic Hollywood is, because there will be no happy ending. Swagger comes out with a military escort and a presentation of the American flag. Rusev jumps Swagger before the bell so Swagger puts on the Patriot Lock. They’re finally separated but Lana says Rusev is too injured to wrestle. The referee says ring the bell and Swagger goes after him in the corner.

Rusev is sent outside but Swagger takes him back inside and hammers away. The Russian keeps running so Swagger runs him over with a clothesline on the floor. All Swagger so far. Back inside and the Vader Bomb is countered with a kick to Jack’s bad ribs. Rusev fires off some shoulders in the corner and puts on a bearhug. Jack can’t belly to belly suplex him and Rusev cannonballs down onto his back again.

Swagger fights back with a running clothesline and a big boot followed by the Vader Bomb for two. The superkick is countered into the Patriot Lock but Rusev quickly rolls out. A hard kick to the ribs has Rusev in trouble and a kick to the face sets up the Accolade. Rusev can’t stand on the bad ankle though so it’s a one legged Accolade instead. Jack rolls over into the Patriot Lock but Rusev rolls over and kicks at the ribs. A spinwheel kick to the shoulder drops Jack again and there’s a Warrior Splash, setting up the Accolade and Swagger is out at 8:53.

Rating: C+. Good match here with both guys bringing their harder games. Swagger looks good by not tapping out and the right guy wins. This should end the feud between the two though and hopefully sends Rusev after Sheamus and the US Title. Does anything else really make sense at this point?

Rematch from August 29, 2014 on Smackdown.

Rusev vs. Jack Swagger

Submission match. Swagger immediately goes after the ankle but he can’t suplex Rusev because of the bad ribs. With that not being an option, Swagger kicks him in the ankle and puts on the Patriot Lock, sending Rusev crawling to the ropes. They head outside with Rusev whipping Swagger into the barricade. We take a break and come back with Swagger being sent back outside but Rusev’s ankle is hurting too badly to follow up. Swagger blocks a kick and puts the Patriot Lock on outside.

Rusev crawls back inside for the break so Jack kicks at the leg in the corner. The Vader Bomb connects but the ribs are hurt even worse. Now Rusev puts Swagger in a Patriot Lock until Swagger rolls through into one of his own. The ropes save Rusev again and he nails the jumping superkick. Rusev hooks the Accolade but Jack gets an arm free and grabs a rope. The hold goes back on in the middle of the ring but Jack powers to his feet. A towel comes flying in and Bo Dallas trips up Swagger to put him back in the full hold, making Swagger tap at 7:03 shown of 10:33.

Rating: C. This is an interesting one as they keep Swagger looking as strong as they can, but having him tap defeats the purpose. It continues to set up Swagger vs. Dallas, but that doesn’t really do as much for me with Swagger submitting. Have him pass out again, or let it be a regular match ending in a pin but the tapping out hurts this. It does however keep Rusev strong and that’s more important long term.

The next big shot American to try their luck was Mark Henry at Night of Champions 2014.

Rusev vs. Mark Henry

Lillian Garcia sings the National Anthem before the match and Henry starts crying. Henry wins the early slugout and Rusev bails to the floor. They do the same sequence again but Henry follows him out the third time. Rusev drives him into the steps to take over before hitting a running splash back inside. He puts on a side choke and things slow down a bit.

Back up and Henry hits a quick splash in the corner but can’t lift him for the World’s Strongest Slam. Rusev nails a spinwheel kick and starts in on the bad back. Henry fights out of an Accolade attempt and nails the World’s Strongest Slam out of nowhere but his back gives out. Rusev wisely rolls outside but comes back in with the running superkick. Now the Accolade goes on and Henry quickly taps at 8:35.

Rating: D. That was pretty much exactly what was expected and it really wasn’t anything interesting. No one gave Henry much of a chance here and can you really blame them? At the end of the day the Hall of Pain period was such an outlier in his career as the rest of his career has been such a mess.

After a verbal showdown with Rock, Rusev would face the Intercontinental Champion in a non-title match on Smackdown, October 10, 2014.

Rusev vs. Dolph Ziggler

Non-title again. Rusev powers him into the corner to start and kicks Ziggler in the back before choking on the apron. Ziggler fights out of a chinlock but misses a Stinger Splash as we take a break. Back with Dolph hammering away but getting caught with the knees to the ribs and fall away slam. Rusev hooks a front facelock with a body scissors but Ziggler finally rolls forward to escape.

A hard shot to the face staggers Rusev and there’s a dropkick for good measure. The running DDT is blocked but Rusev misses a charge, setting up a bad looking Fameasser for one. Back up and the running superkick sets up the Accolade to make Dolph tap at 8:20. This was only a few steps above a squash save for that one flurry.

Rating: C. But I thought Rock buried Rusev on Raw and there was no way he could ever recover. Those comments still make my head hurt but that’s another story for another time. This was a big win for Rusev and they’re getting more and more common. I know the logical story was to have him go over Sheamus for the US Title, but they’re getting to the point where he needs to go into the World Title picture with wins like these. He’s not there yet, but they can’t ignore him much longer.

Rusev is the modern version of the evil Russian and his athleticism makes him quite the force. The problem with a character like him is that once he loses, a lot of his heat is going to go with him. It happens to everyone, but the question is how well can he bounce back. He’ll do something special in the future though, and that’s more than a lot of people can say.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Bound For Glory 2010
Date: October 10, 2010
Location: Ocean Center, Daytona Beach, Florida
Attendance: 3,500
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

And then it all changed. A few weeks after Bound For Glory 2009, TNA announced the signings of Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff. The two debuted on January 4, 2010’s Impact and started promising big changes for TNA. This included making AJ Styles a Ric Flair tribute character and having Abyss be granted superpowers via Hall of Fame rings. Around this time, TNA basically stopped being the Little Promotion That Could and tried to take it to WWE, resulting in one of the worst thrashings in wrestling history.

As for the show, this is probably TNA’s biggest pay per view ever and it actually feels like a show you had to see. The main event is the culmination of a months long story where Abyss has been promising that THEY are coming. Along with that, Bischoff and Hogan have been in a power struggle with Dixie Carter while Sting has been saying that he knows what’s really going on. This may or may not be him acting like a crazy psychopath, but we’ll get to that later. I’m sure I’ll find way more to say about this story later. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a series of clips of most of the people on the card, set to dramatic music. The main focus is on the three guys in the main event: Jeff Hardy, Mr. Anderson and Kurt Angle.

Tenay points out that it’s 10/10/10. They billed this up as once in a century, but isn’t that the case with every date?

The announcers run down the card. This is Abyss’ last match in the company and Angle is going to leave if he doesn’t win.

Tag Team Titles: Motor City Machine Guns vs. Generation Me

Generation Me is challenging and is currently known as the Young Bucks. The Guns FINALLY won the titles a few months ago and now they need some challengers. Shelley and Max (Buck, partner of Jeremy Buck) with Alex getting stomped down in the corner. Back up and a spinning leg trip puts Max down and the Guns take over. Sabin sticks out his boots so Shelley can send Max face first and things speed up.

Back to Shelley for some loud chops on Max’s chest, but Jeremy trips him up from the floor. Sabin kicks Jeremy in the face and Alex nails Max, setting up a double suicide dive to put the Bucks down. They get back inside with Shelley getting crotched on the top and taken down with a double DDT out of the corner. Jeremey nails a nice spinning enziguri for two on Shelley before a running flip neckbreaker into a backbreaker gets two more.

Shelley fights both Bucks off the top and hits a top rope double stomp on Jeremy before making the hot tag off to Sabin. The Guns speed things way up with double hesitation dropkicks to Jeremy in the Tree of Woe. A top rope clothesline gets two on Jeremy and a Dominator/running cutter combination gets the same on Max. Shelley misses a plancha to Jeremy, allowing him to hit a slingshot X Factor on Sabin. Everyone gets back in but the Bucks break up a Doomsday Sliced Bread #2.

Max hits a kind of neckbreaker off the top rope followed by a 450 from Jeremy. Shelly makes a last second save and catches a diving Jeremy in a Downward Spiral while DDTing Max at the same time. Max kicks Sabin in the face and sends Alex outside before a standing moonsault/springboard splash gets two on Shelley. The Bucks load up More Bang For Your Buck (a fast paced series of dives) but Sabin comes back in for a release German superplex to send Max flying. Skull and Bones (neckbreaker/top rope splash combo) is enough to pin Jeremy and retain the titles.

Rating: A-. GREAT choice for an opener here even though I can’t imagine much being able to follow it. The fans are totally hyped for the show and even I was way into this by the end. They kept playing “can you top this” and release German at the end looked great. The Bucks may be jerks but they can put on a spot fest. Really good stuff here.

Madison Rayne is glad that she unbanned Tara and is letting her fight in tonight’s four way. Mickie James can’t just walk into TNA and become the new boss. Actually she can as Mickie is refereeing tonight.

We recap the four way. The new head of the Knockouts division, Miss Tessmacher, is going to make Angelina Love prove she deserves to be champion. This is basically Beautiful People vs. non-Beautiful People.

Knockouts Title: Angelina Love vs. Madison Rayne vs. Velvet Sky vs. Tara

Angelina is defending and Madison has Tara in her back pocket for reinstating her after Tara lost her career in a match earlier in the year. Newcomer Mickie James is guest referee in the same vein that Bret Hart was at Starrcade 1997. You have to tag here so it’s Angelina vs. Madison to start. Rayne quickly tags out to Velvet as Tazz says there’s no tagging. The Beautiful People have to go at it and we get a very basic sequence until they collide to put both girls down.

Madison tags Velvet to come in and chokes Angelina in the corner but gets caught in a flapjack. Tara comes in with a hangman’s choke but Madison runs over to tag in Velvet. Sky gets two off a headscissors followed by something like AJ Lee’s Black Widow. Tazz is shouting about bacon for some reason as Velvet gets two off a faceplant. Madison knees Velvet from the apron and everything breaks down. The Botox Injection drops Tara, the Rayne Drop sends Angelina to the floor and Velvet DDTs Madison. Tara gets back up and grabs a rollup with tights on Velvet for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. This was when the division was starting to get going, but there was no real reason to have the tags here. Tara winning the title makes sense but, could they at least do something besides the same thing from last year with Nash and Young? Mickie was a total non-factor in this.

Madison freaks out on Tara post match but gets nailed by Mickie. James’ music plays and you would never know Tara won the belt.

Eric Young says Orlando Jordan (the bisexual wrestler) looks at him as a father figure. “Who cares if he’s bi…..polar?” Jordan comes up in a mask and offers Christy a sucker.

Orlando Jordan/Eric Young vs. Ink Inc.

Ink Inc. is a tattooed team comprised of Shannon Moore and Jesse Neal. This is the result of an Xplosion match and Eric is carrying a rulebook and has drawn on tattoos for some reason. Oh this is during Young’s latest crazy period. Jordan and Jesse get things going but Young quickly puts the referee on the apron and takes his place. Things settle down and Jesse gets two off a spinning cross body and it’s off to Shannon for a kick to the face and two.

Young comes in and gets rolled up for two so he congratulates Shannon for his success. He high fives everyone, including a tag to Jordan. Ink Inc. kicks Jordan in the corner and Eric wants to join in, only to get crotched on the top rope. Jordan gets crotched right along with him as comedy abounds. Back in and Orlando grinds on Shannon before planting him with a spinebuster. The fans want Eric but get a Jordan suplex for two on Moore.

Young breaks up Jordan’s cheating to give Moore another two count and now Orlando doesn’t want to tag. Instead Jordan nails Jesse and holds Moore open for a cheap shot but Eric goes over and takes Jesse’s place on the apron. Moore tags Eric in because why not and Young cleans house on Jordan. In the confusing, Shannon loads Jordan up in a fireman’s carry so Neal can hit a top rope neckbreaker for the pin.

Rating: D. If you like Eric Young’s comedy, this was gold. If you’re like me and he makes you want to pound a rusty spike into your eye, this was the longest eight and a half minutes of your life. I will however give him this: at least this was something different than the same four things he would do for years on end.

Jeff Hardy says he’ll win the title with a Twist of Fate and Swanton Bomb.

X-Division Title: Jay Lethal vs. Douglas Williams

Jay is defending and this is a rematch from a title match on Impact. They trade wristlocks to start with Douglas taking him down into an armbar. Lethal pops up and spins him down into an armbar of his own. Back up and Williams nails a shot to the ribs to take over, only to get caught in a quick Lethal Combination to send Douglas outside. Back in and Jay misses a springboard dropkick followed by a Williams knee drop for two.

A chinlock doesn’t get Williams anywhere and Jay is quickly up with a backdrop. Some dropkicks put Williams down again and a cross body gets two. Douglas comes back with a running knee to the chest and gets two off a snap suplex. Rolling Chaos (a rolling German suplex out of the corner) is good for a very near fall on the champion. The very grounded challenger tries a top rope hurricanrana but Lethal rolls through into a sunset flip to retain.

Rating: C. This was fine but forgettable and could have been on any given Impact. Lethal never did anything for me and still doesn’t to this day. Williams was the technical guy and the perfect villain for the division so it might have been a good idea to have him get the title before this show and losing it here. Still though, nothing too bad but pretty basic stuff.

Lethal goes into the crowd and gets jumped by Shore, a new act comprised of Cookie and a guy named Robbie E. Jay gets taken to the ring and laid out with with an RKO. Robbie promises to take the title back to New Jersey. Where Lethal is from. Well to be fair Robbie isn’t supposed to be a smart guy.

We recap Rob Van Dam vs. Abyss. The monster had been going crazy and then World Champion Van Dam tried to stop him at the Whole F’N Show. It ended in a huge brawl and Abyss nearly murdering Van Dam with his 2×4 covered in nails called Janice because THEY told him to. Abyss has promised that THEY will be revealed tonight but I can’t imagine it’s before the main event.

Rob Van Dam vs. Abyss

Monster’s Ball and this is Abyss’ last match in TNA for reasons not really explained. Rob hammers away to start and brings in a chair very early. A springboard kick to the face drops Abyss and he skateboards the chair into Abyss’ face in the corner. They head outside with Rob sliding in a barbed wire board, only to get taken down by an elbow to the face. Rob elbows his way out of a chokeslam and regular slam attempt onto the board before kicking Abyss down onto the barbed wire to really fire up the crowd.

Rolling Thunder misses Abyss nad hits the board again, sending Rob out to the floor. A trashcan to the head puts Rob down again and Abyss bridges a table between the ring and the barricade. They slug it out next to the board with Abyss getting the better of it but not being able to suplex Rob through the board. Instead Abyss gets kicked down onto it, allowing Rob to hit Rolling Thunder through the table for a nice crash.

Back in and a Van Daminator staggers Abyss but he pops up before Rob can launch the Van Terminator. Abyss pelts the chair at Rob to knock him off the top and through the barbed wire board at ringside. Back in again and Abyss sets up the barbed wire board in the corner but gets shoved face first into it, allowing Rob to stomp away at the board in the corner. The Van Terminator crushes the board into Abyss but the Five Star misses. Abyss pulls out Janice but Rob pelts a chair at Abyss’ head to knock Janice out of his hands. Van Dam sees Janice and drills the monster in the ribs for the pin.

Rating: B-. This was a good brawl and a solid way to have Rob get his revenge. The problem with Janice is you can’t show what it’s supposed to do because it would kill the guy, so a shot to the ribs is about as good as it’s going to get. Rob should have been the conquering hero here in theory, but it’s not quite the same with Abyss being the prophet for THEY. Still though, good stuff.

Rob leaves and Abyss tells the camera to come to them so he can say here WE come.

We recap the Band vs. Jarrett/Joe. The idea here is Sting and Nash are claiming that Hogan and Bischoff, the good guys, are up to something. It comes off as jealousy and heel turns for both guys, but Sting has never quite gotten to say the whole thing. All we’ve heard is talk of a huge conspiracy and a grand scheme between Hogan, Bischoff and potentially others.

Jarrett is here because he started TNA and supports Dixie while Joe is there because he has nothing else to do. Pope D’Angelo Dinero, a guy who debuted earlier in the year and hasn’t done much, has joined in with Nash and Sting but doesn’t sound nearly as evil as the other two. We’re also told that Hogan will NOT be here due to back surgery. A lot of people, myself included, saw this as a red flag.

Sting/D’Angelo Dinero/Kevin Nash vs. Jeff Jarrett/Samoa Joe

Joe grabs Dinero’s arm to start and runs him over with a shoulder. Dinero comes back with a flying tackle but Joe pops back up and stares at him. Some rights and lefts in the corner don’t have much effect on Joe so it’s off to Sting for a rematch BFG 2008’s main event. Sting hammers away and tries the Stinger Splash, only to charge into the release Rock Bottom. Joe takes Sting outside and nails some left hands to the jaw. Nash comes in from behind with a shot to Joe’s back to give Sting control.

They walk around just like in 2008 but thankfully stay at ringside instead of going through the crowd. It’s off to Nash back inside for some right hands of his own, followed by knees to the ribs in the corner. Back to Dinero for some stompings in the corner, followed by a slingshot elbow drop for two. Joe fights off Dinero, decks Sting and hits an enziguri in the corner to drop Nash. He crawls over to Jarrett but Jeff drops to the floor and leaves. Joe is all alone and tries to fight them off but three guys are too much for him. The Jackknife is enough to pin the Samoan.

Rating: D+. This was storyline advancement even though it didn’t make sense at this time. To be fair though, NOTHING made sense at this point which is what made this such a must see show, as we were finally promised answers. The match was just kind of there, much like Joe who had no connection to anything here. The annoying part here though was we were building to Sting vs. Jarret for months and now they’re either neutral with each other or on the same side.

Anderson says he’s going to end Kurt Angle’s career tonight because he has to.

Here’s Team 3D for a major announcement. Ray talks about all the titles they’ve won and say they don’t have anything left to do. They’re going to retire, but they want one more match against the Motor City Machine Guns for the titles.

The announcers talk about Team 3D’s challenge.

We recap Lethal Lockdown. This is a culture clash with EV 2.0 (Extreme Violence, the ECW reunion) being tired of Fourtune saying they’re not real wrestlers. The team being brought in wound up being one of the major plot points for what’s going on tonight but we’ll cover that at the end. Flair called EV 2.0 a gimmick and says his Fourtune is real wrestling.

Flair says Fourtune is the heart of TNA and that he’s ready for Foley. Each member gets in a jab at EV 2.0.

Fourtune vs. EV 2.0

AJ Styles, Beer Money, Kazarian, Matt Morgan

Tommy Dreamer, Raven, Rhino, Sabu, Stevie Richards

This is a one ring WarGames match. A man from each team starts and after five minutes, Fourtune gets a man advantage due to winning a match on Impact. That goes on for two minutes then a guy from EV 2.0 comes in. Two more minutes of that and then Fourtune gets the advantage again. Alternate until all 10 are in and then we lower the roof, complete with weapons. No pins or submissions until everyone is in. Foley and Flair are the seconds and everyone is at ringside for the match. They get in a brawl before anyone gets in the cage. Fourtune is all in blue here for a good team visual.

Things settle down so Richards and Kaz can get things going. Stevie hammers away to start and sends Kaz into the cage as Tazz isn’t allowed to say ECW. Richards chops him down in the corner before mocking Flair with a strut. A suplex puts Kaz down and there’s a Koji Clutch of all things. The clock runs down after about three minutes and it’s TV (Legends) Champion AJ Styles in for the save.

The drop down into the dropkick plants Richards and Fourtune puts him in a Figure Four with Kaz pulling at Stevie’s arms. Dreamer finally comes in for the save and clotheslines both of them down. A pumphandle suplex drops AJ and a Demolition Decapitator does the same to Kaz. Richards has a bad leg so Dreamer slams him onto Kaz before putting him on the top rope. Stevie tries a superplex but gets caught in a Tower of Doom by AJ, who sends Kaz crashing into Dreamer to put all four down.

Roode comes in to make it 3-2 and sends Dreamer face first into the cage. All of the Fourtune guys are back up now and in full control, with Flair helping by throwing punches through the camera hole. The destruction continues until Sabu comes in to make the save and somehow revive all of his partners in the span of about 20 seconds. A springboard into a tornado DDT drops Styles and Sabu puts on the camel clutch. Dreamer is covered in blood.

Fourtune starts getting back into it before Storm comes in to clean even more house. Beer Money does their SHOUT OUR NAMES bit as Fourtune is in full control. Raven comes in to even things up again as the extreme guys start getting back into it. Some pretty unspectacular brawling carries us to Morgan getting in as the final member of Fourtune. He drives Sabu into the cage and busts him open in the process. EV continues to get destroyed until Rhino ties things up. A series of clotheslines and suplexes set up a Gore to Storm as the roof of weapons is lowered.

The fans really wake up as the previous fifteen minutes or so were just killing time until we got to this point. EV takes over with the weapons shots as we see even more toys on the roof. Raven and Morgan slug it out until Kaz is thrown through the door and out onto the concrete. Stevie goes after Kaz and they head to the top of the cage. Richards sets up a ladder and a table up there as most of the other people have fought to the floor.

Kaz tries to put Richards through the table but Brian Kendrick pops out from under a tarp on top of the cage to make a save. He slams Kaz through the table and starts meditating because he’s a strange guy. Back in the ring, Dreamer nails AJ with a chair to crotch him on the top and a top rope Death Valley Driver onto the chair is enough to pin Styles.

Rating: D+. This was a pretty lame brawl as it followed the standard WarGames formula: they trade advantages and have a basic brawl until the next guy comes in. Ten people is WAY too much for one ring and that was the problem here. The fact that TOMMY DREAMER PINNED AJ STYLES doesn’t make things any better. Kendrick made things even more bizarre and the whole thing just didn’t do it for me.

Angle says he’ll retire if he doesn’t win and that he has to win the title. This one is for Hulk.

We get a music video on the main event, basically showing how everyone advanced through the tournament to get here and showing shots of them all.

The announcers preview the match for a good while.

TNA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Kurt Angle vs. Mr. Anderson

Anderson beat D’Angelo Dinero and Hardy and Angle went to a time limit draw, forcing the three way. Hardy debuts new music which should tell you a lot. Anderson gets double teamed to start but Kurt is sent out to the floor. Angle comes back in and throws Jeff to the floor so he can kick at Anderson’s knee in the corner. A release overhead belly to belly gets two on Mr. with Hardy making a save. Jeff gets back into it and picks up Anderson, so Angle Germans both guys at the same time.

Anderson goes outside for the first time but Jeff backdrops Angle up and over the top for a bad landing. Thankfully he’s ok enough to pull Anderson out to the floor for a brawl, but Hardy dives over the top to put everyone down. Back in and Kurt puts Anderson in a chinlock until Jeff makes a save. He goes up top very slowly though, allowing Angle to run the corner for the belly to belly. Jeff pops back up, only to miss the Swanton on Anderson and give Kurt a near fall. Dixie Carter is watching at ringside.

Angle loads up a superplex but Andeson turns it into a Tower of Doom for two on both guys. It’s Angle up first to roll some Germans on Anderson before doing the same on Hardy. He wants to keep things together so there’s an ankle lock to both guys at the same time. Angle goes up top but Anderson’s ankle is fine enough for the rolling fireman’s carry for two. Hardy breaks it up with a Swanton for two on both guys.

Back up and Anderson goes up, only to get caught in a belly to back superplex to give Kurt a near fall. Whisper in the Wind puts Angle down and there’s a Twist of Fate to Anderson. The Swanton crushes Mr. but Angle grabs Jeff’s ankle. Anderson breaks it up with the Mic Check for two on Kurt and everyone gets two off a rollup. Kurt actually hits the moonsault for two on Hardy, who falls out of the ring. Angle escapes the Mic Check but accidentally clotheslines the referee. Everyone knows the big THEY reveal is coming.

Anderson hits the Mic Check on Angle but can’t follow up. This brings out Eric Bischoff with a chair but Hogan comes out (I’m as shocked as you are) before he can swing it. Hulk is on crutches and moving pretty slowly as we have to wait even longer. Bischoff throws the chair down but takes away a crutch. Hardy gets back in to calm things down but Hogan hands him his crutch.

Jeff squares off with Bischoff….and breaks the crutch over Angle’s back. Hogan smiles and Bischoff says that was awesome. Hogan points at Hardy and hugs Eric as they watch Hardy break the other crutch over Anderson’s back. The Twist of Fate is enough to pin Anderson and give Hardy the title.

Rating: B-. The match is good but this was ALL about the booking and big swerve at the end. Hogan and Bischoff weren’t really surprises so it was all down to who was going to side with the new mega heel faction. Hardy winning the title is fine and the best option given who was in there.

Bischoff introduces Jeff as the new World Champion and a smiling Jeff Jarrett comes out. Abyss follows them out and hugs Hogan. Fans throw trash in the ring ala the NWO debut (there were rumors this was planted) as RVD comes out to ask Jeff what he’s doing. Hardy lays him out with a belt shot and poses with THEY to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This is a VERY tricky show to grade as it all revolved around the huge reveal at the end. I remember waking up on the day of the show and being genuinely excited to find out who THEY were. That kind of excitement is reserved for Wrestlemania and nothing else in wrestling. TNA did an OUTSTANDING job of building up this story, even though when you look back at the last six months, there are roughly 84,038 plot holes in the story.

The problems with THEY (later called Immortal) all came later when, just like the NWO, the team expanded to about a dozen people and you couldn’t keep track of what was going on. The same was true of the buildup as it went in so many different directions that the whole thing stopped making sense about halfway through. It’s a good twist ending because Hardy was kind of the forgotten one in the whole mix, but the problem with these kind of stories is in the details. There is so much material in a wrestling show that somewhere along the lines, someone did something that doesn’t add up in the end.

That’s where this story lost me at first: I really don’t like the idea of having to keep track of dozens of plot points to figure out if a show makes sense or not. That’s why the show is still good but doesn’t have nearly the weight behind it that it did live. In 2010, all I cared about was the reveal. Now I know what’s coming (including that Sting and Nash had been right all along), so much of the drama is gone. It completely changes the show and thankfully lets you see that there’s more to it than just the main event. Good stuff here though and still TNA’s biggest show to date.

Ratings Comparison

Motor City Machine Guns vs. Generation Me

Original: B

Redo: A-

Angelina Love vs. Velvet Sky vs. Madison Rayne vs. Tara

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Ink Inc. vs. Shannon Moore/Jesse Neal

Original: D

Redo: D

Douglas Williams vs. Jay Lethal

Original: C+

Redo: C

Rob Van Dam vs. Abyss

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Sting/Kevin Nash/D’Angelo Dinero vs. Samoa Joe/Jeff Jarrett

Original: D+

Redo: D+

EV 2.0 vs. Fourtune

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Mr. Anderson vs. Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Hardy

Original: B

Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: C+

This is the point where I was watching the shows live so the ratings are going to be closer.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/10/10/bound-for-glory-2012-im-still-not-sure-if-this-makes-sense/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00NPPH0WI

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

ECW on TNN
Date: May 5, 2000
Location: Mid-Hudson Civic Center, Poughkeepsie, New York
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

We’re getting closer to Hardcore Heaven 2000 at this point with some major matches announced but no World Title. In theory it would be Dreamer getting his rematch for the title, but given how fast everything changes around here it’s hard to say. Hopefully things are a bit better structured this week after last week’s mess. Let’s get to it.

We open with a quick recap of last week’s show with all the title title changes.

Off to Joey and Joel in the ring for the long limerick (about getting someone tipsy in Poughkeepsie) and a line from Joey about TNN producing their shows using rabbit ears. This brings out Justin Credible and Francine with the chick saying she just goes wherever the gold is and lists off all the wrestlers she’s led to titles over the years. I never realized how many she had actually done. By done I of course mean led to gold.

This sounds like Sunny with the Tag Team Titles back in 1996. I’ve heard worse (though Francine is no Sunny), but why do I have a feeling we’re not going to get an explanation for why she turned on Dreamer in the first place? Granted it’s a common problem but on a one hour show, you really shouldn’t have this many open questions.

Justin is about to say something when Lance Storm and Dawn Marie come out. Lance gets right in Credible’s face and actually shows some of the best emotion he’s ever had. Storm rips into Justin about disrespecting the titles and costing Lance a belt that he earned. Therefore, Credible owes Storm a title and that World Heavyweight Title looks pretty good. Credible can either hand it over to Storm or have it beaten out of him.

Storm slaps him in the face and the brawl is on, but of course we have to focus on the same Dawn Marie vs. Francine fight that we’ve seen roughly eight million times now. Raven runs out to go after Justin but Storm takes him down for reasons that aren’t entirely clear. Jazz comes out to go after Dawn and gets a superkick of her own. The opening match is next.

Kid Kash vs. Lance Storm

This is joined in progress but we have to look at Tommy Dreamer and Credible fighting in the crowd. Where did Dreamer come from? Uh….EXTREME! Kash starts off with a big flip dive to the floor because that’s his signature thing. They head inside for Storm to block a charge with an elbow to the jaw followed by a nice powerslam. Kash pops back up and tries a hurricanrana, only to be countered into a sitout powerbomb. Kash is on his feet WAY too fast and nails a hurricanrana for two but Dawn Marie breaks up the Money Maker. Jazz came out to go after Dawn, allowing Storm to nail a superkick and piledriver for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was barely long enough to rate due to constantly cutting away to other things. This is one of Heyman’s problems: he couldn’t sit still long enough to let things go the way they should. It’s like watching a really hyperactive squirrel running around a park and trying to make sense of it. There’s only so much the wrestlers can do when we can barely see them.

The New Dangerous Alliance goes to see the Sinister Minister. Elektra sits on the Minister’s lap and he pulls out some beads. Their next comments are censored and Elektra takes her top off and dances. Minister laughs. As usual, I have no idea what the point of this was.

Jerry Lynn vs. Scotty Anton

Joined in progress as well with Lynn nailing a plancha over the top to take Anton down. Anton sends him into the barricade and sets up a table in the ring because this is ECW. Lynn comes back with a tornado DDT but here’s Rhino to try and Gore Jerry. He leapfrogs out of the way though and Anton takes the Gore through the table, setting up the cradle piledriver to give Jerry the pin.

Cyrus comes out to shake Lynn’s hand and says he’s a friend of the Network. Lynn looks at him but dives over the top to take Lynn out instead. Rhino beats up Anton but RVD comes out for the save, only to get beaten up by Corino and Victory. Tajiri comes out for another save but RVD is taken out by security. The Network tells Tajiri to apologize because he’s on his own. Tajiri pulls out a beer and you can see the tag match coming from here.

Sandman/Tajiri vs. Rhino/Steve Corino

Wait not yet, as we have to watch Sandman drink and listen to Metallica for five minutes. I’ve always loved that about Sandman’s entrances. He can sit there and drink forever while the guy he’s supposed to be helping could be getting his brains beaten in. Why did more bad guys not take some sort of advantage of this? They have Tajiri 3-1 and they all just stand around and watch him do walk around and drink a lot. I know wrestling villains aren’t supposed to be smart but come on now.

It’s not just ECW either. This happens in WWE all the time as well with stuff like the opening sequences where the people that hate each other just stand in different parts of the arena with three ropes and air between them but they never actually do anything physical. I know security is supposed to intervene but come on already.

Oh yeah we have a match to talk about. Tajiri vs. Rhino to start with the power guy hammering away and actually working on the arm early on. Tajiri comes back with the handspring elbow and tags in Sandman as Rhino tags out as well. Corino gets nailed in the face over and over before they head outside for some whips into the barricade.

The Russian legsweep into the barricade has Steve in even more trouble. They head back inside for the Heinekenrana and White Russian legsweep for two. Cue Sandman’s wife for the first time in weeks to nail Rhino with a kendo stick. That goes about as far as you would expect and Tajiri mists Corino. Rhino Gores a table in the corner, allowing Tajiri to double stomp Corino through a table for the pin.

Rating: D+. Why can’t we just let Corino fight Tajiri for fifteen minutes instead? They’re talented guys and Rhino would be good when he figured out his style. Sandman isn’t a wrestler and I’m not sure why he’s consistently on wrestling shows. Lori Fullington really didn’t need to be here and I don’t remember seeing her outside of pay per views. Not much to see here but it could have been worse.

Gertner rants about TNN to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. We’re getting really close to Hardcore Heaven at this point and as usual, I have almost no idea what to expect for the show save for one or two matches. This show focused on two ideas (except for that weird Elektra and Minister thing) and that’s a bit more ok in an hour long show. The show still isn’t good, but you can never say it’s boring. Sometimes that’s better, but I don’t think it is here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00NPPH0WI

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6