NXT
Date: June 26, 2014
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Rich Brennan, Renee Young, Alex Riley

NXT is coming in off a bad show which isn’t something I have to say all that often. Last week’s show was pretty boring with Tyler Breeze having one of the least interesting matches I’ve ever seen from the promotion and the main event being an angle instead of a match. Things down here have a habit of turning around quickly though so let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

T. Perkins/Matt Sugarman vs. Vaudevillians

The Vaudevillians are introduced at a combined height of 12’7. Renee says Sugarman is a Bastion Booger fan because that’s how awesome she is. Gotch takes Sugarman down with an armbar before putting on a headscissors so he can do clap pushups. A slam puts Sugerman down and the top rope Swanton (That’s A Wrap) from English gets the pin at 2:45.

We recap the main event from last week. Zayn says Tyson is a weird kind of cat because he never learned how to lose. They’ll be hearing from each other again.

Xavier Woods vs. Bull Dempsey

CJ Parker’s crusade in the crowd continues. Dempsey gets a full entrance and has a theme song with the word BULL being shouted over and over. Dempsey grabs a headlock to start and hammers Woods down with pure power. A headbutt gets two before Dempsey just drills Woods with forearms to the chest. Dempsey is in a short singlet, earning him a PUT SOME PANTS ON chant from the lively crowd. Woods fights out of a chinlock with a jawbreaker but jumps into a right hand to the face. A sitout slam (the Bulldozer) gets Bull the pin at 4:40.

Rating: D+. Total squash here and Dempsey looked good the whole way. There’s nothing wrong with a powerful brute like this and the match worked well. His music is really catchy too and was stuck in my head the entire time. That’s a good sign as it’s just his name over and over, set to music.

Bull says the children have run NXT for too long and he’s the last of a dying breed.

Summer Rae vs. Becky Lynch

Becky is an Irish redhead in green. The fans chant for her to start and Lynch does a jig. Becky takes her down with an armbar but she gets kicked in the face for two. Charlotte tries to interfere but Summer shouts that it’s her match, allowing Lynch to get a VERY close two off a rollup. Lynch hits three straight legdrops for two followed by a capture suplex for the pin at 2:59.

Sawyer Fulton vs. Colin Cassady

They circle each other for a bit as the announcers hype Cassady up as a future NXT Champion. Fulton shoves Cassady to start but walks into a big boot and the S-A-W-F-T Elbow gets the pin at 1:26.

The Legionnaires come out to go after Colin but Enzo Amore runs out for the save. Catchphrases are spoken.

Adrian Neville vs. Rob Van Dam

Tyler Breeze is on commentary. Non-title and set up as RVD wanted to face the best NXT had to offer. Neville takes over with a headscissors on the mat and an armdrag sends Van Dam out to the floor. Back in and a rollup gets two for Adrian as Renee says Van Dam is Neville’s idol. Van Dam kicks Adrian to the floor and nails a shot off the apron to put both guys down. Adrian is back up first for a big moonsault to take Rob down again.

We take a break and come back with Adrian holding a front facelock but getting caught in an atomic drop. Renee asks Tyler about a potential full length album but Breeze says his one hit will last for awhile. Van Dam kicks Neville in the face and does it again in the corner. Neville’s sunset flip is countered for two and he gets tied up in the Tree of Woe. A running kick to the ribs has Neville in even more trouble but he escapes a German suplex.

Adrian’s springboard clothesline gets two on Van Dam but he comes back with a jawbreaker. The split legged moonsault only hits mat and a small package gets two for the champion. Van Dam throws Adrian into the air for a kick to the chest to take over again. The Five Star misses though and Neville comes back with a running DDT, followed by the Red Arrow for the pin at 13:56 shown of 16:26.

Rating: C+. There was a nice story here with Neville knowing Van Dam so well due to being a fan for so many years. I’m not the biggest Van Dam fan in the world but it’s nice to see him putting people over clean like this. I expected Van Dam to get the pin so this was a very nice surprise.

They shake hands post match and the announcers don’t treat this like a big upset.

Overall Rating: C+. And of course NXT bounces back with a good show this week. This was about bringing in some new stars and giving some new people pushes, which is necessary when WWE brings people up so often. Neville is reaching a point where losing the title is going to be a big deal and that’s a very good thing. Solid show this week.

Results
Vaudevillians b. T. Perkins/Matt Sugarman – That’s A Wrap to Sugerman
Bull Dempsey b. Xavier Woods – Bulldozer
Becky Lynch b. Summer Rae – Capture suplex
Colin Cassady b. Sawyer Fulton – S-A-W-F-T Elbow
Adrian Neville b. Rob Van Dam – Red Arrow

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Smackdown
Date: June 6, 2014
Location: U.S. Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

As I’m sure you’ve heard several times already, the main story coming into this show is the Shield breakup on Raw as Seth Rollins jumped from Shield to Evolution in a turn that doesn’t make a ton of sense on the surface but maybe they’ll turn it around with some solid promos. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the elimination tag, Batista quitting and Rollins turning on Shield the next night. This video doesn’t help a lot of the plot holes.

Here are HHH and Rollins for their medium speech as I’m sure the big one will be on Raw. Rollins is in his Shield gear and the fans tell him that he sold out. HHH says he isn’t out here to brag and say he told you so, but everyone knows that anyway. He talks about Rollins being the founder of the Shield, a team that crushed legends, giants and champions. They were the most dominant force in the world, so why did Rollins turn his back on them?

Rollins says everyone wants an explanation about why he did what he did to his brothers. The only person who needs to know and the only person that he owes anything to is him, which sounds like code for “We haven’t thought this all the way through.” Dolph Ziggler of all people interrupts him and says he can’t fall much further down so he can say this.

Ziggler dug the Shield for standing up to everyone and winning. What Rollins did was worse than anything else Shield did because Rollins is nothing more than a traitor. HHH says Ziggler is right. Seth did sell out, and he’ll sell out arenas night after night, which Ziggler will never do. That’s not enough though, so HHH makes Ziggler vs. Rollins right now.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Seth Rollins

Seth chokes him against the ropes to start but Ziggler comes back with right hands in the corner. A quick suplex gets two for Rollins and he pulls on Dolph’s hair for a bit. Ziggler sends him outside and kicks Rollins through the ropes as things calm down a bit. Back in and Rollins easily punches Dolph down again before putting on a chinlock. Dolph reverses into a sleeper but gets caught in a backpack stunner. Seth kicks him out to the floor and we take a break. Back with Ziggler fighting out of a cobra clutch but getting caught in the Downward Spiral into the middle buckle.

HHH goes over to the announce table to brag about his new man but Rollins charges into the running DDT. They slug it out with Ziggler getting the better of it and hammering away in the corner. Dolph throws him outside and hits a nice dropkick followed by the Fameasser inside for two. Seth comes back with an enziguri from the apron but takes too long going up and gets caught in the top rope X Factor for an even closer near fall. Another enziguri stops a charging Ziggler and the buckle bomb followed by the curb stomp put Ziggler away at 11:10 shown of 14:40.

Rating: C+. This was a good but not great match. The problem here is Rollins had to drop all of the stuff that was going to get him cheered which leaves him with a less exciting although still good style. Ziggler continues to be a completely different wrestler on Smackdown and Raw and it’s getting a bit tiresome. These matches are entertaining but you know not to expect anything on Mondays.

Bad News Barrett thinks it’s unfair that he has to defend his title against Cesaro and RVD. Why should he have to do that against two people far less classy than him? RVD is a flower child and Cesaro has fleas from sleeping with the dog that is Paul Heyman.

Orton shakes Rollins’ hand and welcomes him to the dark side. Big Show comes up and says Ziggler was right: Rollins is a piece of garbage. He’d love to see Rollins try that on him, but HHH makes Big Show vs. Orton for tonight instead.

Usos vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

Non-title. Jey nails a quick uppercut on Ryback to start but is quickly sent outside for a shot from Axel to take over. A double suplex gets two on Jey and the middle rope elbow into a middle rope splash gets the same. We hit the chinlock from Ryback before the quick tags have Jey in even more trouble. Jey comes back with a superkick to send Ryback to the floor and another knocks Axel out of the corner. A hot tag brings in Jimmy for a Superfly Splash on Axel for the pin at 3:10. That was the only move he hit all match.

Rating: D+. This was the Randy Savage in 1995 formula of having the Usos get beaten down for almost the entire match before hitting two moves for a quick win. It gets the Usos back on their winning ways and it doesn’t really downgrade Ryback/Axel as they lost to a team higher up on the totem pole.

Rusev vs. Xavier Woods

This week Lana brags about Mikhail Gorbachev and various Russian athletes and dancers. Woods comes out in a combination of his regular attire and his old Consequences Creed gear. The kick and the Accolade end him in 36 seconds, but at least Woods’ attire looked better.

A giant Russian flag comes down behind Rusev after his win.

Intercontinental Title: Bad News Barrett vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Cesaro

Barrett is defending of course and this is a result of Cesaro breaking up RVD’s title shot on Tuesday. Cesaro is quickly double teamed to the floor but comes back with a running uppercut to the champion’s back. Rob kicks them both down with ease for a double Rolling Thunder and two on both guys.

Cesaro sends Rob outside and stomps away on Barrett in the corner as Heyman shuts Cole down every few seconds with one great line after another. For instance, Cole: “Why did Cesaro interfere in the match on Tuesday?” Heyman: “It got him into the title match didn’t it?” The split legged moonsault gets two on Cesaro but Barrett pulls Rob to the floor as we go to a break. Back with Rob fighting out of Barrett’s chinlock and low bridging him out to the floor.

The big flip dive is blocked by an uppercut but Barrett runs Cesaro over and puts him on the barricade, allowing Rob to hit the spinning kick to the back. Back in and

Winds of Change get two on Rob and the German suplex gets the same on the American. Barrett gets knocked down by Cesaro who is kicked by Rob, setting up the Five Star. Rob walks around instead of covering though and walks into the Bull Hammer for the pin by Barrett at 6:50 shown of 10:20.

Rating: C+. Another nice match here but nothing we haven’t seen a bunch of times before. I would have thought they would save this for Money in the Bank but there’s a good chance Cesaro is in the ladder match. Barrett has now beaten Van Dam twice though so there’s no real need for them to keep going.

Bray Wyatt comes on screen and talks about being put in a box at Wrestlemania. It brought back a lot of memories and he heard Sister Abigail’s voice. She told him that the sharks would circle Bray and that death was real. He would find his peace in death but his rebirth would make him much stronger. His voice will soothe their ears and he will lead their armies. There’s nothing left to fear because he is reborn. Join him.

Videon NXT: Takeover.

Natalya vs. Alicia Fox

Fox is thrown down when trying a headscissors and a dropkick puts her on the floor. We get a mini fit out there and Alicia shouts at Natalya a lot for good measure. Now Alicia offers a handshake but Natalya smacks her in the face instead. Natalya does it again for good measure and gets thrown throat first into the bottom rope. A northern lights suplex gets two for Fox but Natalya counters the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker into a cross body for the pin at 3:18.

Rating: D+. I’m really not sure what they can do with Fox now as she’s still doing the same stuff but is now doing bits of it during the match. Again they couldn’t have her beat Paige so the character really has nowhere to go now. It’s still more interesting than anything else the division has going on, but when there’s no one else for her to work with due to there barely being a division, she’s pretty much stuck.

This week’s post match freak out includes Fox yelling at Lillian Garcia.

We look at Brie Bella quitting at Payback and Stephanie’s announcement about the fate of the WWE Title at Money in the Bank.

Bo Dallas vs. Santino Marella

We get the now traditional armdrag followed by the celebration to start but Santino scores with two armdrags of his own and celebrates. JBL: “Why would you do that?” Back in and Bo pulls him into a clothesline, followed by the Bodog for the pin at 1:58.

Post match Bo tells Emma to Bolieve.

Big Show talks about being bullied as a kid and not being able to fight back because there were so many of them at once. Then one day he was all alone with the leader and he knocked him out cold. I’m not sure how this ties into his match tonight as HHH is the bully but I’m more interested in trying to figure out if Be A Star is still a thing.

Video on the Rollins turn. The Shield will return to Raw next week. WWE needs to work on the definition of return.

Orton says he has to take care of Big Show tonight because the giant stuck his nose where it didn’t belong. Things can happen out of nowhere, like they did to Ambrose and Reigns.

Big Show vs. Randy Orton

A quick chop puts Orton on the floor but he comes back by going after the knee. That goes badly for him too as Big Show headbutts him out to the floor with ease. We take a break and come back with Orton holding Big Show in a chinlock. Back up and Big Show knocks Orton out of the air but a dropkick puts the bigger man down again. Orton manages to hit the Elevated DDT off the top but Big Show comes back with a spear. HHH gets on the apron but Rollins comes in with the springboard knee to the face for the DQ at 5:50.

Rating: D+. I don’t think this pairing really needs that much of an explanation. They never have worked all that well together and this was no exception. Also the ending was about as obvious as you could get, but that’s the kind of thing Big Show is used for anymore. It looks impressive when a giant is slain and stood over to end a show, even though that happens so often.

An RKO sets up a pair of curb stomps onto a chair to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. So to clarify, Rollins is involved in one of the biggest turns in recent memory and he goes from main eventing a pay per view to not even being able to main event Smackdown. Rollins felt like a bodyguard for Orton here instead of being the star and that’s a problem with this story. Now that being said, I don’t think anyone thought the big drama would take place here so you can look at this as a placeholder show more than anything else.

The rest of the show wasn’t that much better. The matches were just ok and none of them were required viewing at all. One thing I will give them though: the Intercontinental Title has been more active in the last two weeks than it’s been in months. It’s not a great or even a very good feud and story, but there are two people after the belt and the title is being defended regularly. That’s all I ask. Not a great show this week but much more average and dull than bad.

Results
Seth Rollins b. Dolph Ziggler – Curb stomp
Usos b. Ryback/Curtis Axel – Superfly Splash to Axel
Rusev b. Xavier Woods – Accolade
Bad News Barrett b. Rob Van Dam and Cesaro – Bull Hammer to Van Dam
Natalya b. Alicia Fox – Cross body
Bo Dallas b. Santino Marella – Bodog
Big Show b. Randy Orton via DQ when Seth Rollins interfered

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Last year’s show was pretty awesome so hopefully this one lives up to it’s Papa. Let’s get to it.

We’ll start with the preshow as always. This is one of the obvious matches as there’s no way they’re unmasking Torito and take away any money they could get from selling bull masks. Hornswoggle can leave 3MB and start getting evil to promote the Leprechaun movie. The match should be fun though as both guys can actually work a match.

I’ll get the other obvious match out of the way: Rusev destroys Big E. for his first meaningful win. No questions here.

Paige retains the Divas Title. She’s too big of a deal to not get the belt here, and are people really going to complain about Alicia Fox having a push wasted? I could go for her in those white shorts again though.

Barrett beats Van Dam. There’s just no reason for RVD to win but the match should be entertaining enough.

I think Cesaro vs. Sheamus goes to a draw and Sheamus keeps the belt. Hopefully they’re not tying Cesaro down to the US Title and let him get the briefcase or maybe even the title. Either way it would seem he’s heading for a match with Brock so why give him a worthless midcard title? The match should be good though.

That leaves us with the two main events. I’m hoping Bray beats Cena, as Cena beating him for three seconds was bad enough, but keeping him down for ten seconds would just be horrible. Bray winning would allow him to do a bunch of crazy stuff that could be very interesting. I’m really not sure where he’s going, but it’s in a bad direction if Cena beats him. Also it’s not like Cena hasn’t lost a last man standing match before so this isn’t the biggest stretch in the world.

Finally, Shield almost has to beat Evolution. There’s just no reason for Evolution to win here as they have nothing to gainand with Batista likely leaving, it would be a good way to get him out. The elimination and anything goes rules should make things even more entertaining.

For a bonus, I think Bryan hands over the title, even though it means sitting through a lot of stupid drama that involves the Bellas and Stephanie getting WAY too much screen time. Bryan can bring the acting at times though and he’ll likely get a lot of time to do so tomorrow night. I still think the title goes above the ring at Money in the Bank, which should be a good way to get some people to care

Overall Payback looks predictable but entertaining. To be fair, that’s almost the same thing that was said about Wrestlemania and it was one of the best shows I’ve ever seen. This has a lot of potential to be awesome and hopefully it means we have a good summer to look forward to.

 

 

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A monster, a monster, he’s turned into a monster. It’s Abyss.

After some years in NWA Wildside, Abyss found his way to TNA and became a monster in the early days of the company. He would get into a feud with AJ Styles and win the Tag Team Titles with him in 2004. After losing them a month later, the two would face off on Weekly PPV #85 in a ladder match for a shot at the World Title.

Abyss vs. AJ Styles

From March 17, 2004 and this is a ladder match for the #1 contendership. The brawl is on immediately and AJ hits the Pele (called a bicycle kick here) to stagger the monster. AJ tries to hit the ropes but Abyss hits a HARD clothesline to take his head off. A chop that would make Big Show cringe puts AJ down and Abyss goes to get the ladder. Abyss shoves AJ down with the ladder from the floor but AJ just rams into Abyss to knock him back to the floor. Styles goes up the ladder but hops down and moves the ladder closer to the ropes. It takes too long to set up though and Abyss shoves the ladder down.

Both guys are back inside now and Abyss whips Styles hard into the ladder. The monster climbs up VERY slowly so AJ makes an easy save before bulldogging him onto the ladder. A springboard dropkick sends Abyss to the floor and Styles follows out with a dive. Now it’s AJ going up but Abyss blasts him in the back with a chair before wedging it between the ropes in the corner. Shock Treatment puts AJ down again and Abyss pulls out another ladder. This one stays outside though as he bridges it between the ring and the barricade.

AJ blocks a chokeslam by biting Abyss’ fingers but the monster throws him head first into the chair in the corner to knock Styles loopy. Abyss throws in some more chairs but AJ counters a powerbomb into the Styles Clash (really a pancake due to the legs not being wrapped around Abyss’ arms but close enough) in a very surprising power display. AJ goes up the ladder for a 450 splash, drawing a well earned THIS IS AWESOME chant.

They both climb again but AJ slows Abyss down with some kicks to the head. AJ can’t reach the contract so he busts out a sunset powerbomb to put Abyss through two chairs set up in the corner. Cue Raven to distract AJ for no explained reason, allowing Abyss to shove the ladder over, sending Styles FACE FIRST into the bridged ladder. Abyss easily gets the contract. Apparently Raven was trying to get Russo’s attention or something.

Rating: B+. They had my favorite match ever in TNA so it’s no surprise that I liked this too. It’s the David vs. Goliath formula which is going to work almost every time, especially when you have two people that can work at a high level. The ending felt abrupt but the big spots almost all worked here. Really good stuff, as expected.

Abyss would appear on the first episode of Impact from June 4, 2004.

Shark Boy vs. Abyss

Sharky goes after Abyss and bites his way out of a chokeslam. A high cross body is caught in an easy slam before the Black Hole Slam ends this quick. Total squash for Abyss.

The most famous match type of Abyss’ career has always been Monster’s Ball. He would be in the first incarnation at Victory Road 2004.

Abyss vs. Monty Brown vs. Raven

This is the original Monster’s Ball match, which originally was far different. The idea here is that the guys have been locked up without light or food for 24 hours. This aspect has since completely disappeared due to reasons of sanity and now it’s just a regular hardcore match. The announcers say that Raven has the advantage here as he’s smaller and crazier which makes sense, at least in the lack of food and light idea.

We have a table set up inside of 30 seconds. Abyss is dominating here for the most part. It’s really more of an intense triple threat rather than a hardcore match and now we have chairs coming in. Raven really is underrated in the ring. I love what Brown does by just chucking a chair at Raven’s head. That’s awesome. Naturally we have a ref bump because they’re required I suppose.

Now we move to the big spots of the match as we have Brown sitting on the top rope and Abyss busts out the tacks. Since he’s the only one wearing a shirt you know that he’s the guy that’s going to wind up going through them. Yep, Raven comes in to powerbomb him while he’s trying to suplex Brown. That wasn’t predictable at all. Not a bit. Raven gets two off of it and then we set up another stupid spot as the table is set up in the corner and Raven gets Pounced (a spear/tackle) through it. It was a mess of course.

Rating: D+. These things are going to happen and while I can’t stand them, I get that there’s a point to them. There is a market for these I guess and at least they’re keeping it shorter. There’s really no way to make these good without going too far, but this was really lackluster even for one of these.

It’s back to the AJ feud with my favorite TNA match ever. From Lockdown 2005.

Abyss vs. AJ Styles

For the few of you that might be wondering, this is my favorite TNA match ever. AJ is YOUNG looking here which is saying a lot as he’s still young today but here he looks like he’s about 19. He’s a two time world champion here though which is never mentioned anymore for no apparent reason. Abyss is listed at 350lbs here again but he’s a LOT slimmer looking here.

He still has the chains here which were a nice touch for him. I have no idea why but they are. AJ dives through the door to take down Abyss before he gets in. Abyss tries to whip him into the railing but AJ baseball slides UNDERNEATH the railing and jumps up onto it and hits a rana to take down Abyss. That was freaking awesome and happened inside of five seconds.

All AJ to start as we’re still on the floor. Abyss had more or less been unstoppable recently since splitting from his stablemate Alex Shelley (let that sink in for a bit) so this is a major showdown and seeing Abyss reeling is odd to see. Abyss fights him back and whips him into the railing again so this time AJ channels his inner Morrison and double jumps up to a platform into the crowd, spins around and jumps over FIVE ROWS of fans to his the forearm on Abyss. This is one of the most awesome performances I’ve ever seen and we’re maybe three minutes into this.

AJ dives at Abyss on the railing ala Sting but instead of crashing into it clears the railing by a good foot and hits the ground in the crowd. Abyss pounds on him a bit but AJ just kicks the heck out of him to escape for a bit. West talks about Kenny Chesney for absolutely no apparent reason.

They open the door of the cage after about six minutes of brawling. The difference between this and the stupid stuff before: this was INCREDIBLY entertaining and the fans were way into it as opposed to Jarrett and Waltman walking around and occasionally hitting each other with something. AJ and Abyss never stopped moving and the fans were into it because of it. The difference here: hard work works better than walking around hitting each other with weapons.

AJ punches Abyss HARD but gets the cage door slammed into his arm and then his face where he snaps down to the floor. It looked like he got hit by a bus or something as fast as he hit the ground. Great selling there. AJ is busted open and Abyss pounds away even more. AJ finally in the cage now as Abyss looks under the ring for the bag of tacks. About eight and a half minutes in they’re in the cage together.

Abyss chokes him with the chain and we play tug of war. AJ simply will not quit and keeps hammering away to no avail though. With the chain on the top turnbuckle, Abyss launches AJ over his head in kind of a forced leapfrog and his head slams into the chain. The fans think this is awesome and for once they’re right. They stop for a bit for the a neck crank and AJ sells the heck out of it too.

AJ charges again but Abyss grabs him in a gorilla press and LAUNCHES him up to just let him crash down. He tries it again but AJ counters into a DDT onto the chain. Two punches and an enziguri takes Abyss down as does a headscissors. AJ hits a moonsault press but Abyss just lets him bounce off which was cool looking. AJ sends him into a chair into the corner that Abyss set up and gets a German suplex for two that looked very good.

He goes for the Styles Clash but Abyss is way too big for that. Chokeslam is countered into a rollup for two. AJ gets another running start but walks into the Black Hole Slam for a VERY long two. Dang Abyss looks awesome (what am I saying?) when he really uncorks that thing. Yep there are the tacks. Black Hole Slam into them are countered as is a powerbomb.

AJ gets the Styles Clash (ok more like a falling face first slam but we’ll give it to him) into the tacks for two. Wow I would have bet on that being the ending. You know if I didn’t know the ending already. Abyss is ROCKED here which was unthinkable until this match. AJ goes to the top of the cage and Abyss can’t catch him. His solution: throw the referee at the cage to knock AJ off. That was awesome.

Abyss climbs up as AJ is barely hanging on. He goes up with the chain and might be thinking to hang him as he had on Impact. Yep that’s what he’s going for. AJ is on the outside and Abyss on the inside and yep he’s hanging him. AJ gets the chain off somehow and Abyss grabs the chokeslam. AJ bites his fingers and opens those things up! AJ jumps off the top of the cage and hits a freaking sunset flip powerbomb onto the tacks from the top of the cage to get the pin as Abyss is DEAD.

Rating: A+. OH YES! AJ was absolutely amazing here and it was definitely Abyss’ best match ever. This was just a total war for twenty minutes with AJ never stopping and taking it to Abyss much like Flair did back at Starrcade 93 to Vader. There was no gimmick here as it was just a big old fight in a cage with weapons brought in for fun. AJ would get the title the next month….and then lose it to Raven the next month because the world was clamoring for more Raven and less AJ. Uh…sure. He wouldn’t get it back for over four years.

Abyss would enter into a Gauntlet for the Gold at Hard Justice for a title shot at some point in the future.

Gauntlet For The Gold

Roode is #1 and the surprise entrant Zach Gowen is #2. Get the joke from earlier now? Roode steals the prosthetic leg. West: “Put it back!” but Gowen comes back with one footed dropkicks and a reverse DDT. Eric Young comes in at #3. The intervals are only a minute long which includes their time coming to the ring. Remember at this point it’s over the top to eliminate people.

Roode gets a pretty evil one legged giant swing on Gowen. Cassidy Riley is #4. Ok now the clock doesn’t start until he gets to the ring. He helps against the Canadians and Gowen hits a leg lariat on Roode. Here’s Skipper at #5 and the clock is under Young rules again. Skipper takes a lariat from Roode but hits a nice moonsault to take him down. The ring is getting a little full now so everyone has something to do.

Shark Boy comes in at #6 to a nice reaction. Thank goodness he’s not Stone Cold yet. He won a match on the preshow to get in. Sharky hits a neckbreaker on Young but Gowen takes him down. Shark Boy bites Gowen hard enough that Gowen goes out. So we have our first elimination. #7 is another Canadian in the form of A-1, the big power guy. He cleans house with clotheslines and stomps on Riley.

#8 is Chris Sabin. In a Matrix style move, he sets for a tornado DDT on Young but with his feet in the air, he kicks EVERYONE ELSE in the chest in a big circle before hitting the DDT. That was cool. Petey Williams is #9 to put the Canadians at full strength. He tries a Destroyer on Sharky but gets backdropped to the apron. Shark Boy goes after him and is eliminated by A-1. Eric puts out Riley to get some people out of the ring.

Sonny Siaki is #10 and he goes after the Canadians. Skipper gets REALLY stupid and tries to walk the ropes. Roode is like boy you’re stupid and clotheslines him out. Lance Hoyt is #11 and he has his own cheering section. Young is easily tossed out by Hoyt and Team Canada is down to three. Sabin can’t get Williams out and Bentley is #12. He superkicks Hoyt but is taken out by Sabin who goes out at the same time. They fight on the floor as the Canadians put out Siaki.

Here’s Jerelle Clark at #13. He’s just an X-Division guy. There are five people in at the moment: Roode, A-1, Williams, Clark and Hoyt. The Canadians help Williams on a Destroyer to put Clark out. Mikey Batts is #14 and he fires off some kicks to take down the Canadians. He’s another X-Division guy. He and Hoyt team up on Canada as The Outlaw Kip James is #15.

A HUGE cobra clutch slam kills Batts and the fans want to see it again. #16 is Trytan but Hoyt hits a big boot before Trytan even gets in. Batts is gone. Trytan is chokeslamming everyone in sight and hits a spinebuster on Hoyt. Ron Killings is #17 and gets powerslammed very quickly. As Trytan poses, all three Canadians team up to throw him out.

Apollo is #18 and he cleans house. He and Kip chop it out but Apollo charges and is low bridged out. BG James is #19 but the Canadians break up the staredown between the Outlaws. Hoyt kicks Roode out but Roode helps A-1 to get rid of Hoyt. The Outlaws team up on Petey and A-1, tossing them both out. Abyss comes in at #20 and knocks both Outlaws out to get us down to the final two.

So it’s Truth vs. Abyss for the shot and it’s a regular one on one match, meaning over the top doesn’t mean anything anymore. Abyss throws him to the floor anyway and tries to hit him with a chair but it’s taken away by the referee. Back inside now and Abyss pounds on Killings in the corner. Truth speeds things up and hits a leg lariat and a headbutt for two. Abyss gets a big boot and brings in the chain but that gets taken away.

Instead he’ll use a chair because the referee takes forever to put the chain in the corner. Truth gets the chair and hits Abyss twice in the head for two. We actually get a ref bump in this match. Is this really needed? Truth checks on him and walks into a chokeslam onto the chair for a very delayed two. Abyss tries to Earthquake down onto the chair onto Killings but Truth crotches him on the chair instead. Not that it matters though as Killings jumps into the Black Hole Slam and it’s over.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t a horrible battle royal and the one minute intervals keep things moving fast enough. I’m not sure how much I like the one on one match at the end but it’s not a terrible idea I guess. Still though, like most non-Rumbles, this wasn’t a very interesting battle royal. Not awful though.

Abyss is a hardcore guy, so here’s a hardcore dream match from Genesis 2005.

Abyss vs. Sabu

No DQ. Abyss has a chair and his chain. Sabu of course has….nothing. He had his arm covered but when he pulled the towel off there was no barbed wire (there had been at an earlier show). Abyss bails to the floor and Sabu dives on him to take over early. Sabu sets up a table but Abyss takes over and sends him back in. Abyss beats on him VERY slowly as I’m assuming they have a lot of time here.

Sabu is bleeding from the nose. For some reason Abyss goes up, only to be ranaed down. Sabu sets up a chair but it goes upside his head for his efforts. Abyss wedges the chair between the ropes but due to the law of wrestling, he goes head first into it. Triple Jump Moonsault almost totally misses and it’s out to the floor (complete with an F Bomb from Sabu) where Abyss is driven through the table with a slingshot flipping legdrop.

Abyss gets up first and picks up his bag of tacks. As he’s laying them out though, Sabu pulls out a barbed wire chair. Mitchell pulls it away, but Sabu hits some clotheslines in an attempt to put Abyss into the tacks. Abyss is like screw that and chokeslams Sabu into the tacks but it only gets two. He loads up a Frog Splash but lands on tacks, which gets two for Sabu. Camel clutch goes on but Abyss makes a rope. Sabu gets the chair but Abyss knocks him down. Powerbomb onto the chair is countered by a Black Hole Slam onto the chair (FREAKING OW MAN!) gets the pin. Abyss wasn’t scared of it at all.

Rating: C-. It was very violent and the ending was sick, but it’s nothing we haven’t seen a million times before. Abyss being scared of the barbed wire went nowhere at all which didn’t help anything here. The match wasn’t that bad but it’s just another hardcore brawl with some sharp stuff involved.

Next up was a feud with NWA World Champion Christian Cage, culminating in a Full Metal Mayhem match at Sacrifice 2006. Abyss stole the title itself before challenging to become champion.

NWA World Title: Abyss vs. Christian

This is basically a TLC match and Christian is defending. Christian immediately takes him down but can’t overcome the power soon afterwords. Abyss goes for a ladder but Christian dropkicks it back into his face. Back into the ring and Abyss throws him to the apron, only to have the ladder see-sawed into his face. They head to the floor with Christian pounding away on Abyss’ head.

Out into the crowd and they go to that wall that the people in every big TNA brawl fight to. They head back into the ring and the ladder is set up in the corner. Abyss misses a splash onto said ladder so Christian puts it up in front of the challenger. He tries a charge at the ladder but Abyss throws it back at him, knocking Christian down. Abyss wedges a chair between the ropes, and due to the law of wrestling #1, goes crashing into it for his trouble.

Christian goes up and gets his hand on the belt but Abyss makes a pretty easy save. They fight over a German onto the ladder but after neither can get it to go, it’s Christian that is sent crashing into the ladder. Abyss goes outside and sets up a pair of tables next to the ring. Now there’s a table set up in the ring as well but Christian gets in a boot to the ribs to break things up.

Abyss puts him on the ladder but misses a cross body kind of move onto the climbing instrument. A frog splash onto the ladder misses but so does a chain shot against the post. Christian chokes him with the chain but gets flipped through one of the tables at ringside. Abyss goes up but Christian makes the save with a chair. They both fall off the ladder with Christian hitting the top rope. Abyss lays out the tacks but walks into an Unprettier onto the ladder. Mitchell takes a Rock Bottom into the tacks and Abyss is put on the table. He has a chance to go for the belt but drops a frog splash through Abyss, then grabs the title.

Rating: B-. This was ok but it never hit the level that a lot of these matches hit. This felt like something you would see on a TV show, meaning that while it was good there was nothing above the usual level of violence or carnage. For a B level main event it was fine, but it’s absolutely nothing you’d ever want to see a second time unless you were completely obsessed with Christian or something.

Next up was a WAY too long feud with Sting, where Sting tried to help bring out the person behind the mask. This involved James Mitchell being revealed as Abyss’ father and a bunch of strange matches, including this one at Destination X 2007.

Sting vs. Abyss

This is a Last Rites match which means a casket match but the casket is above the ring and you have to have it lowered and then pull them to the ceiling where somehow it signifies their death and ascension or something like that. And people wonder why Russo is made fun of. Keep in mind that Abyss was world champion about two months earlier after just having been an unstoppable monster. This is what we’re getting instead.

Still on the floor as this is just a big brawl so far. As always the splash on the railing misses and Abyss takes over with a chair shot to the back. Into the ring for the first time and there are candles on the corner. Plastic ones mind you but still dude, candles? Scorpion Death Drop puts Abyss down for no cover but he was down for all of a second. One of the candelabras goes into Sting’s face and he’s busted open.

Abyss calls down the casket and the lights go all blue. LOUD fire Russo chant starts up as Sting is pouring blood. Half of the casket is shut and it becomes a regular casket match now. There’s a tombstone. The one made of rock, not the Piledriver. Scorpion goes on and Abyss taps which means nothing. Chair shot puts him down as Sting is bleeding a ton.

The fans chant boring as Sting puts the stone over Abyss’ head and breaks it with the bat. Sting gets out and Abyss shoves him into the corner with his hand around the throat. Abyss chokeslams Sting onto the casket, crushing it. The fans chant TNA, showing that it doesn’t take much to sway their emotions.

Abyss sets up a pair of chairs back to back and puts a tombstone over the top of them. He puts Sting on top for a suplex through it but Sting grabs the candelabra and blasts Abyss in the head with it, knocking them through the tombstone. Sting puts Abyss in the casket to win it before collapsing onto it and having both of them raised into the air. This is what we’re talking about by matches and angles that no one but the booker gets and he doesn’t care what the fans think.

Rating: F+. The FIRE RUSSO chants were right. There were candles, tombstones and a broken casket. On top of that they had only a weak match at best. Sting’s blood was impressive but at the same time it’s nothing we haven’t seen before. Weak match overall and rather stupid to say the least. This feud went on forever and seemingly never stopped.

Sting and Abyss would soon join forces (because wrestling says they have to) and feud with Christian’s Coalition, including this match at Hard Justice 2007.

Andrew Martin/Sting/Abyss vs. Christian Cage/AJ Styles/Tomko

There’s barbed wire around the top of the cage and you win by pinfall, but the person being pinned has to be bleeding first. Abyss gets beaten down until bald Test makes the save. The lights go out and Sting appears in the ring, clocking Tomko with a chair. No one is in the ring at the moment. Ok so it’s Abyss vs. Styles now. Well they had my favorite match ever in TNA in a cage so no complaints there.

Tomko is busted so he could be pinned now. AJ gets a jumping enziguri to put Abyss to the floor again. Styles dives out of the cage to take Abyss out again. So….you know what, screw it. I’m not playing dumb on this one. GET IN THE FREAKING CAGE LIKE YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO YOU IDIOTS! Three minutes in we’re told that whoever gets the fall is the #1 contender. Well sure why not.

Test beats up Christian but Christian isn’t bleeding yet so no cover. And now we cut to the back to watch Pacman freaking Jones get loaded into an ambulance. In the middle of the second main event of all times. OH COME ON ALREADY. NO ONE FREAKING CARES TNA. This is shown for 23 seconds, which could be worse but it was 23 seconds too long. Guess what the announcers are going to talk about for awhile now.

Everyone is in the ring now I believe. Oh wait Sting isn’t. Tomko breaks up a double chokeslam and Sting is trying to get in. That fails and they manage to lock him out of the cage. Abyss is busted open from his head and arm. Total heel beatdown here but Sting has wire cutters. Sting gets in and here comes the comeback. Tomko cracks Sting with a chari and AJ hits a top rope splash on Abyss as does Christian, getting two. Test kicks a chair into Tomko’s head and there’s glass on the mat. Christian escapes which doesn’t mean anything here. Black Hole Slam onto the glass gives Abyss the pin on Styles.

Rating: C. For this big bloody war, this wasn’t much. Then again we didn’t see the complete version because we couldn’t wait five minutes to see Jones get loaded up into the ambulance of course. Not bad but Lethal Lockdown is a lot better than this was. Having only six people in there was a good thing though as it wasn’t too crowded in there.

Father Mitchell would come back with his other son, Judas Mesias, who challenged Abyss in a very bloody feud. From Against All Odds 2008.

Judas Mesias vs. Abyss

This was taped three weeks ago and is in the Impact Zone down in Orlando. There aren’t any ropes but rather barbed wire. Abyss pushes over a cameraman on the way to the ring. For some reason that made me chuckle. The fans are behind Abyss here. Well that’s good since he’s the face. The lack of ropes makes things look really weird here.

Abyss does the arm pose and Mesias looks at him. It’s weird seeing the face tower over the heel like he does here. They fight to try to push the other into the wire but neither has any luck. Mesias hits a dropkick and Abyss hits wire, cutting his arm a bit. Mesias goes in also, but in his case it’s side first. Drop toehold sends Abyss into the wire. This is going to be one of those matches where all we’re doing is sending people into the wire isn’t it?

Abyss slides under the wire as the fans chant who’s your daddy. He finds a chair wrapped in barbed wire and the fans want blood apparently. Abyss puts the chair on the chest of Mesias but it goes into Abyss’ crotch. That has to hurt a bit no? Barbed wire chair to Abyss’ head. BIG cut over the eye of Abyss.

Mesias brings in a barbed wire board with a slight bit of help from Mitchell. They’re on the floor now with Mesias in control. Abyss finds another board and Mesias is bleeding from the side. The new board is set up between the railing and the table like a platform. Abyss tries to chokeslam Mitchell through it but gets blocked by Mesias and it’s back into the ring. Chokeslam onto the barbed wire is blocked but a gorilla press drop isn’t and Mesias is all cut up.

Abyss’ arms are a mess. There’s ANOTHER barbed wire board being brought in by Abyss. Mesias gets up on the apron so Abyss chokeslams him down onto the board that was set up like a platform. Time for Abyss to go after Mitchell now and it’s a Black Hole Slam for the manager. Mesias pops up somehow and it’s a Black Hole Slam for him too.

Abyss gets hit low to shift the momentum again. Mesias more or less tackles Abyss into the boards for Abyss’ first major bump of the match. They slug it out and Mesias thinks it’s smart to charge at a guy whose finisher is a swinging slam. It connects onto one of the boards and this is over.

Rating: C+. Well they got the violence stuff pretty well I guess. All things considered this was pretty good. Thankfully this feud was OVER after this as I couldn’t take much more from it. Tenay saying that Abyss could be added to the list of hardcore legends like Funk, Brody, Cactus Jack and the Sheik is a big nauseating but you get the idea. Better than you would expect but just what you would expect if that makes sense.

In 2008, Kurt Angle started feuding with Jeff Jarrett. Jeff won the first match and Angle wanted to go again, but Jeff said Angle had to beat Abyss first. From Turning Point 2008.

Kurt Angle vs. Abyss

This is Falls Count Anywhere. I kind of dig Angle’s music. Angle needs to stay away from the red and white stripe singlet. It just doesn’t work for him. Abyss is in the prison suit thing and looks even stupider. It’s all monster to start as you would expect.

We’re in the crowd now and all Abyss can do is throw punches it seems. Angle gets a chair out of the front row. Great to see that someone got up and left in one of the biggest matches on the card. Angle does the running front flip off the stage onto Abyss that you see on a ton of TNA highlight reels.

It doesn’t really matter as Abyss is dominating maybe 8 seconds later. West says Angle kicked Abyss in the nuts. That sounded odd. They go through a wall and are under the stage. Always good to see Angle do new stuff. The cameras lose them so we completely stop for a bit as they come through the other side of the wall.

We’re back in the ring now as this has been your standard hardcore match so far. Angle Slam gets two of course. Why does everyone put the chair between the ropes like that? Angle gets chokeslammed for two. Angle actually hits the moonsault. It’s just finisher to finisher now.

Speaking of which there’s the ankle lock for just a second and it goes into the Black Hole Slam. I hate this part of matches most of the time. We head to the Spanish announce table and Angle goes up the scaffolding behind it. And there goes Abyss down through the table for the pin

Rating: B-. Not bad and it was intense, but this was really just your run of the mill hardcore match. Angle looked solid here but there was very limited drama. That forward flip though was great looking. The in ring stuff kind of sucked though and Abyss is just so limited it’s not even funny. Fun match though.

After all the violence, Abyss finally found a friend in Matt Morgan. They would team up and dominate a few weak teams, eventually getting a Tag Team Title shot at Final Resolution in December 2008.

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Matt Morgan/Abyss

Beer Money has Jackie with them and no one cares about her at all, period. Storm has the Boozer Cruiser thing too and I still hate it. Big brawl to start of course with everyone in there at once. Everyone runs around and Abyss goes to the back for a bit. Morgan dives off the top to the floor to take out Beer Money in a cool spot as Abyss is back, accomplishing nothing with his leaving.

I really hope the bell rang already and I just missed it so that the time so far has been taken off the time of this match. And there’s my answer as this is all pre-match stuff. Great. Beer Money try to run and that gets them nowhere. Standard you have until ten or the titles are forfeited jazz. Abyss and Storm finally officially start us off which is apparently the meat of this feud.

Storm cracked Abyss with some bottles and the monster is ticked off about it if you’re curious about the details for some odd reason. We get word that the X Title is held up AGAIN. Sweet goodness man just have the freaking title match and have it stick. This is what we mean by overbooking if you’re curious.

Morgan beats up Storm for a bit and asks the crowd if they want to see Storm vs. Abyss. Didn’t we see that like two minutes ago or is my memory going already? Beer Money has the titles here if I forgot to mention that. Storm runs from Abyss so we get Roode instead. I prefer Rick but this is fine I suppose. Roode is in trouble so Storm goes off to get some beer.

The fans are all over Beer Money here. Morgan sets for the Carbon Footprint and that twat waffle Jackie gets involved which thankfully isn’t a DQ. Storm finally comes in for a bit and works over Morgan’s knee for awhile. Half crab goes on for awhile as Beer Money does the referee isn’t looking so we’ll pretend we tagged and swear we did and get away with it because the referee is biased against faces technique.

Abyss finally comes in and we get Storm vs. Abyss which apparently has been built up for three or four days! Shock Treatment to Storm gets a long two. Storm tries to get a shot with the bottle but Abyss intercepts it. Jackie interferes and Storm gets a shot with brass knuckles to end it. Not huge on this one at all.

Rating: D+. It’s watchable I suppose but it wasn’t interesting at all and no one really cared in the slightest. Abyss vs. Storm was allegedly the selling point of the match and that never happened at all really. The ending was overdone to no end which should shock no one at all. It’s ok I guess but it felt thrown together which is never really good at all.

As is almost always the case in wrestling, the team split, leading to another violent feud. Here’s a big match between them at Lockdown 2009.

Doomsday Chamber of Blood: Matt Morgan vs. Abyss

I’d assume it’s a first blood match. Oh ok you win by pin or submission but they have to be bleeding first. Mike makes sure to inform us that this is NOT a first blood match though, even it’s about bleeding first. Morgan had turned heel again and turned on Abyss. Is anyone really surprised by that? Morgan has a chair to start but it gets knocked back into his face.

Lots of punches to start. This is during the Dr. Stevie period for Abyss and him being all insane and whatnot like that. Basic big man match to start as the fans say they want blood. I’ve always wanted someone to come out with a needle or something and get a tiny poke with it to make the guy bleed and take credit for a win like that. Abyss can’t bring himself to use a chair and he’s in trouble because of it.

Morgan throws weapons out of the ring to protect himself, drawing great heat. I see no barbed wire at all mind you. The chair to Abyss’ head busted him open so Morgan threw them out as he had the stuff he needed already. That makes sense actually. Morgan gets a decent dropkick. Fans are rather bored here but not entirely. This gimmick match overload is starting to wear on them though.

He busts out the bag of glass, making the whole idea of him throwing the chair out TOTALLY POINTLESS. The fans want Stevie. Morgan can’t manage to shove glass into the head of the monster. Abyss comes back and rams him into the cage a bunch and gets a chokeslam but he can’t pin him due to the lack of laceration. Morgan misses a cross body and down goes the referee.

Abyss gets some glass and jams it into Morgan’s head which would likely kill him but who cares about that? He covers Morgan and here’s a second referee for the two count. Abyss goes to the floor and gets the chair. There has been NO barbed wire which was advertised. Dr. Stevie is revealed to be Stevie Richards to the shock of NO ONE and his distractions lets a Carbon Footprint gets two.

The fans chant ECW as you can feel Vince’s lawyers smile from here. Yes they actually made not only a PPV but a major angle out of this. After Stevie steals the chair, Abyss goes under the ring and gets a bag full of tacks. THEN WHY DID HE GO FOR THE CHAIR IF HE KNEW THOSE WERE THERE???

Stevie STORMS, yes STORMS I say, the ring and beats up Abyss which gets him nowhere. Sweet goodness could they not overbook a single match? And then Morgan jumps him and gives him a chokebomb into the tacks for the easy pin. Well I’m glad to see they got the important plot point of STEVIE RICHARDS in this.

Rating: D+. I saw no barbed wire in there which was promised. The rest of this was nothing special in the slightest. Again they overdid it for the sake of the live crowd and having no one care about the actual match due to them just wanting Steven. This wasn’t anything great at all and was just another Abyss weapons match which we’ve seen a thousand times.

Time for another hardcore dream match, but Abyss is fired if he uses thumbtacks.  From Bound For Glory 2009.

Mick Foley vs. Abyss

Stevie Richards is referee and is the doctor again. LOUD pyro for Abyss. Foley jumps him on the ramp and is all casual about hitting him with the barbed wire bat. I like that. I’m reading his book at the moment and haven’t gotten to this part if it’s in there. Almost immediately Foley goes up the set, climbing a tower. Abyss follows and gets knocked through part of the ramp.

Foley climbs down as Stevie says Abyss is done. Foley gets a running start and drives the bat into Abyss as he’s still in that hole in the ramp/stage. Foley, the face, of course gets cheered. Stevie is the cheerleader dude here as the match just kind of stops until Abyss climbs through the stage. We have a barded wire board from somewhere and he makes a platform with it between the guard rail and the ring.

And there’s another board that’s just like the first. Double armed DDT to Abyss to the board. Richards beats up Abyss too because EVERYONE loved that angle. Foley gets a bat shot into Abyss’ arm to open it up. His head is busted too. Foley goes into the wire board now then Abyss does the same. Make that a sandwich as the other is under him. Naturally it only gets two.

Foley busts out the tacks and Abyss sets to chokeslam him onto them but he’s not allowed. Down goes Stevie and here’s Daffney to give Foley a Taser. And just to make it more stupid it explodes as Foley jabs him with it. They TOTALLY botch it as Abyss misses his kickout and Foley gets three and Abyss raises his shoulder at what would have been four so the referee says he kicked out anyway.

Crowd totally boos that out of the building as Stevie pulls the referee out when Abyss goes for the pin. Daffney goes through the platform they made earlier to get a HOLY SMOKES chant. Stevie tries to beat up Abyss and goes into the tacks for his trouble sans shirt. Chokeslam for Foley and we get the Over the Edge 98 finish as Abyss slams Richards’ hand down for the pin.

Rating: C-. Totally violent but overbooked. Also the botch messed things completely up as it was clearly three and everyone knew it. These matches are fine once in awhile but does it really prove anything? This was a far cry from the Edge or Orton matches and it just didn’t work that well for me. Granted I’m not a fan of hardcore so it’s not my style anyway.

Time for a trip to Mexico as Abyss was brought in as a mercenary at Triplemania XVIII.

Cibernetico/Abyss vs. El Zorro/Vampiro

Cibernetico is one of the top faces in the company (or was at this point). Abyss and Vampiro I think you know. El Zorro is a heel and part of the Foreign Legion and after this show would win the world title. This is a hardcore match. Despite being a foreigner Abyss isn’t part of the Foreign Legion for some reason.

Cibernetico’s entrance is in a word, epic. I think he’s supposed to be a cyborg or something. He’s clearly one of the most popular people in the company. This is that odd kind of hardcore where you have to tag in and out. Yeah I know just go with it. Cibernetico and Zorro start us off.

The tights of Cibernetico says Main Man. At least there isn’t a target saying “goes here” underneath it. The partners just come in for no apparent reason with Abyss going off on Vampiro. This is during Abyss-A-Mania but it doesn’t seem to be that bad at this point. Zorro has a kendo stick as the announcers argue some more. Zorro beats on Cibernetico with a chair in the ring while the other guys are out on the floor.

Vampiro sets up a table but can’t get a moonsault through it. Abyss can’t get his powerbomb through it either so it all evens out. Cibernetico hits the floor and now it’s turning into a regular hardcore match. Vampiro and Konnan point at each other for some reason but the wasted time lets Abyss get his hands on Vampiro. Abyss is thrown at the table which collapses but doesn’t break.

Konnan gets in Vampiro’s face again for no apparent reason. Everyone but Abyss is in the ring now and it’s a 2-1 beatdown. I’m not sure what the deal is with two referees. Maybe Gorilla Monsoon is secretly commissioner here or something. Cibernetico dumps Vampiro (to be with Abyss I guess) but has a kendo stick tossed into his leg.

Abyss is back in now but can’t get a double chokeslam. He settles for a double clothesline instead and down goes the Foreign Legion. Abyss……moves……very……very……slowly. The Foreign Legion hits the ring, in the form of Christopher Daniels, Kozlov, Chessman, Nosawa (Japanese guy) and Hernandez. Cibernetico is like screw that and beats them up on his own.

Zorro takes him down and hammers away with the kendo stick. Cue Abyss who hits Shock Treatment and Zorro is more or less dead. Hernandez misses a chair shot and hits Vampiro by mistake. Konnan grabs Vampiro and throws powder in his face. A chokeslam from Cibernetico ends this.

Rating: C+. Not bad here. They got rid of the tagging after about a second and things got a lot better. Decent little match here and the Foreign Legion losing is a good thing for a change tonight. Cibernetico is a guy that it’s easy to get behind so I can see why he’s one of the most popular there. Decent match all around but a bit rushed.

Soon after this, Abyss would start saying that THEY were coming. He would also get a World Title shot at Victory Road 2010.

TNA World Title: Mr. Anderson vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Abyss

Everybody goes for Abyss to start and it doesn’t work. The crowd is odd here for some reason. This goes nowhere as Abyss just gets up. Hardy and Anderson get him down for like a second and we’re into the usual formula here to an extent. Yep we’re in the formula. That’s fine though as it’s really the only way to do this.

We’re mostly just killing time thus far. The crowd seems a bit dead for some reason but maybe it’s just been a long show. Van Dam hits a split legged moonsault on Anderson for two as Hardy saves. Abyss is gone for the moment so I’m waiting on his return to break up a pin. Instead we get a Tower of Doom with RVD taking the big bump from it. The fans chant TNA for a heel doing a big move. That sums things up pretty well.

Everyone is in the ring now and RVD is in control. I have no idea why everyone is trying to beat Abyss. He’s supposed to be unhurtable but they keep going for him. The fans chant for Anderson. This is really just a bunch of near falls with moves on the side. It’s not bad, but it’s the hazard of multiple man matches. Mic Check on Abyss gets two. Black Hole to Hardy gets two. Abyss looks stupid counting the pin.

Anderson and Hardy finally go at it and it gets NOTHING. This crowd is just out of it. Remember who these fans are too. Abyss is on Hardy who is on Anderson so RVD hits the Five Star for the pin. Wow that was anticlimactic.

Post match Abyss beats up RVD and gets the nail board which misses everything. The show ends with Abyss holding the board and RVD looking at him. Yeah that was stupid.

Rating: D. This just didn’t do it for me. It could have been worse, but at the same time there just wasn’t anything at all special here. The ending to both the match and the show just completely sucked, but what did you really expect? I see no reason at all for RVD to retain there, so of course he did. Whatever.

After feuding with Van Dam for a little while longer, Abyss would be revealed as one of the major stars who combined to form Immortal. This earned him a TV Title shot at Genesis 2011.

TV Title: Abyss vs. Douglas Williams

Yeah because this is EXACTLY what the people wanted to see. Williams has a hurt hand here. Sunset flip can’t hit early on as this is power vs. technical here. Abyss rams the hand into the post to take over. Williams slaps away but can’t do anything of note. Chokeslam can’t hit but Abyss puts him down anyway off a big boot. The fans want AJ.

Here’s the majority of this match: Williams tries to fight, Abyss hits him in the hand, Williams gets another shot in. A jumping back elbow from the second rope sets up a top rope knee drop for Williams for two. Running knee in the corner is countered into a big chokeslam for two. Abyss goes to the floor and finds Janice. It’s merely a ruse though as AJ comes down to clock Williams with the belt. Janice hits the floor again and a Black Hole Slam gives Abyss the TV Title. Get on to something else now.

Rating: C-. Match was ok I guess but dang dude this Immortal thing is getting to be such complete and utter nonsense it’s unreal. Abyss is a champion now and that’s all fine and good apparently. I’m not interested in this storyline at all and I know very few people that are, but TNA insists it’s good so that’s what we’re going to get. Oh joy indeed.

After vacating the title due to an injury, Abyss was sent after the X-Division Title on Impact, May 19, 2011.

X-Division Title: Abyss vs. Kazarian

Bischoff gives Abyss a pep talk before the match, basically saying kill him and also quoting Sun Tzu. Power vs. speed since the beginning as the announcers talk about how this could be the last X Division Title match ever if Abyss wins the belt. Abyss takes him down with power and cranks on the neck but Kaz fights back, only to walk into a chokeslam attempt. That doesn’t work and Kaz gets a springboard dropkick to take Abyss down.

Kaz cranks things up with a rana, an elbow and a legdrop, all off the ropes and resulting in a two count. Chokeslam is countered again into a victory roll for two but Kaz gets caught in Shock Treatment to shift the momentum right back to Abyss. Vader Bomb totally misses and may have hurt his knee. Kaz charges into a big boot as Abyss was apparently faking and the Black Hole Slam gives Abyss the only title he’s never won at 5:05. Tazz says the internet is burning up because of that. Abyss quotes Sun Tzu post match.

Rating: C+. Just a David vs. Goliath match but with a nice little twist of Abyss outsmarting Kaz when he couldn’t beat him with just straight power. I’m thinking this might actually be the beginning of the end for the division as there really isn’t much of a point to the thing at the moment. The TV Title is fine for a midcard title and despite the whole no limits thing, it’s almost always been seen as a Cruiserweight Title. Anyway, not a bad match but nothing of note at all.

Despite being handed titles, Abyss would leave Immortal in late 2011. They wanted him back though and sent Bully Ray to accomplish the goal. This led to a match at Genesis 2012 and if Ray wins, Abyss has to rejoin the team.

Bully Ray vs. Abyss

This is Monster’s Ball, which basically means hardcore. Ray immediately hits the floor and walks around for a bit. He grabs a chair and feels all mighty, but Abyss gets one of his own. Here’s a chair duel and Abyss shrugs off a chair shot. Ray walks into a chokeslam which he pops up from and a big boot takes Abyss down for a good 1 second. Abyss cracks him with a chair to take over and goes to get a staple gun and cheese grater.

Ray gets in a chain shot but a trashcan is no sold. With more weapon shots, Ray grabs a kendo stick. Abyss hits the floor and finds Janice, making Ray run to the back. Abyss follows and then they’re back already. They weren’t off camera for two seconds. Back at ringside and Abyss goes into a barbed wire board. Abyss’ arm is bleeding. He throws Ray in and grabs a pair of bags.

He doesn’t open them yet and instead it’s a cheese grater to the balls. Bag #1 has thumbtacks. Ray kicks him low, shouts about how his balls hurt, and gets a table. According to wrestling law #1 though, Ray goes through it via a chokeslam for two. There are two barbed wire boards in the ring now but Ray Rock Bottoms Abyss onto one for two.

Ray slams the other board on top of Abyss and hits the backsplash off the middle rope. Ok that was kind of awesome. Since it’s TNA though, it only gets two. Ray gets Janice but walks into a chokeslam onto the tacks….for two. Bully gets a boot up in the corner and grabs a kendo stick. He beats Abyss down with it via about 12 shots but for some reason hits the ropes. That’s enough for a Black Hole Slam onto the barbed wire for the pin at 15:28.

Rating: B-. Pretty fun and very violent hardcore match. The key to this one: we hadn’t seen it in awhile which made it have more, pardon the pun, impact. The no selling at the beginning was pretty fun and the big spots worked, but at some point it got kind of ridiculous. To be fair though, that’s the point. At least Immortal didn’t get a new member though so that’s a plus.

Later in the year, Abyss disappeared. Soon after this, Abyss’ brother Joseph Park would debut and say he was looking for the missing monster. Park of course became a wrestler and had a match against Aces and 8’s member Doc at Turning Point 2012.

Doc vs. Joseph Park

Doc is Luke Gallows remember. Park is always amazing in this role given how inept he can make himself look. He tries single leg takedown but Doc just laughs at him. Some wild right hands miss Doc until one accidentally catches him, ticking the biker off. They head to the floor where Park does a lot of running but manages to send Doc into the steps. Back in and Doc loads up a studded belt around his fist but the referee takes it away. Then we stop, because it’s hammer time. That of course gets taken away and Park pounds away.

The next three minutes or so are just Doc beating on Park with basic stuff and there’s only so much you can say about punches. Park starts a comeback but gets hit in the head with the belt to bust him open. He goes into a rage and hits the Black Hole Slam before turning back into Park. Park grabs a chair to whack Doc in the back with for two, but that’s all he’s got as Doc chokeslams him down for the pin at 11:01.

Rating: D. This was WAY too long and that’s where it died. At the end of the day, the joke with Park has been going on for months now and the fans clearly get it. Once the fans get what’s going on, the joke stops being as funny, which means it’s probably time to pull the plug on it, or at least move things forward. The match was bad though as it should have been about five minutes shorter.

Over time, Park would start freaking out if he saw blood. These moments got him a TV Title shot at Slammiversary 2013.

TV Title: D-Von vs. Joseph Park

Park doesn’t show up due to the beatdown from earlier tonight so D-Von talks some trash about the Boston Celtics. D-Von demands a ten count for Park to get out here….and there’s still no Park so D-Von retains.

D-Von of course makes the eternal mistake of running his mouth, saying that if Abyss was here, he’d take a beating like Park would have. You all know what’s coming next.

TV Title: D-Von vs. Abyss

Abyss cleans house of Knux and kicks D-Von in the face as the bell rings. Knux interferes from the floor to let D-Von get in a forearm to the face and take over with some very basic offense. Knee drops and right hands abound but a middle rope splash misses the monster. Abyss hits a splash in the corner followed by a chokeslam and the Black Hole Slam for the pin and the title at 3:49.

Rating: D. The match was barely there but it was the right result. D-Von has done nothing at all with the title in the six months he’s held it so maybe Abyss will actually defend the thing. If nothing else the split personalities deal is interesting when you add in a title. Nothing to see here, but that wasn’t the point of the match.

Park would start teaming with Eric Young and the pair had some success. They were in a gauntlet match at Bound For Glory 2013 with the winning team getting a Tag Team Title shot later in the show.

Tag Team Gauntlet

It’s a four team gauntlet match with the winning team getting the tag title shot on the PPV. We start with Bad Influence vs. Hernandez/Chavo Guerrero. The Bro Mans will be fourth due to Robbie E. winning a four way on Impact. Eric Young and Joseph Park will be third due to winning a drawing earlier tonight. Hernandez cleans house to start and Bad Influence bails to the floor. We finally get down to Daniels running into a big boot from Hernandez in the corner and take a quick break.

Back with Hernandez hitting an over the shoulder face plant to stop Kazarian’s momentum, allowing for a double tag to Chavo vs. Daniels. Chavo gets two off a headscissors and everything breaks down. Hernandez runs over Bad Influence and hits the big shoulder to run over Kazarian. Daniels low bridges SuperMex to the floor but walks into Three Amigos from Chavo. Not that it matters though as Kaz comes back in to distract Chavo, giving Daniels a rollup with a handful of trunks for the pin at 7:30.

Young and Park are in next but get jumped on the way in. Park runs over Kazarian and slams him down, only to have Daniels chop block him down to give Kazarian control. Bad Influence double teams the big man as the fans chant for Young. Kazarian can’t quite get a sunset flip but avoids a seated senton from the big guy.

We take another break and come back with Eric getting the hot tag and pounding away on Daniels in the corner. Young flips over the corner and does Daniels’ strut down the apron before coming back for a belly to belly and a near fall. Kazarian makes the save and gets sent to the floor, allowing Daniels to hit a release Rock Bottom but miss the BME. Park hits a Samoan Drop on Daniels to give Young the pin at 16:50.

Bad Influence jumps Park and Young post match and sends Park into the Ultimate X structure. The referee calls for help as Park is injured and Young is out cold in the ring. Here come the Bro Mans with special guest Mr. Olympia Phil Heath. It’s basically a handicap match here with Young getting double teamed for a big, only to make a comeback with right hands and forearms. A slam puts Robbie down and Eric drops a top rope elbow for two. The numbers finally catch up with Eric though and a double flapjack sets up a Hart Attack for the pin and the title shot at 22:00.

Rating: C-. Nothing special here but I liked the length of the match. Far too often in these things the falls last about 2 minutes each and are completely unrealistic when you compare them to normal wrestling matches. Having the shortest be seven and a half minutes made this far better. Also anything that keeps Chavo and Hernandez off my screen is a good thing.

We’ll wrap it up with their battle after the inevitable split. Young has since figured out that Park is Abyss, because that somehow took over a year to discover. From Impact, February 6, 2014.

Eric Young vs. Abyss

This is Monster’s Ball, meaning anything goes. They’re fighting in the back with Young actually in control and bringing Abyss through the entrance. Abyss comes back with a big right hand and some forearms to the back and the opening bell rings. Young crawls over to a trashcan full of weapons and blasts Abyss in the back with a pipe to get the advantage, only to have Abyss backdrop him on the floor. It’s table time but Young hits a quick dropkick to get a breather.

Young goes for the mast but Abyss slams him into the apron to get a breather. They head inside for the first time with Eric coming off the top, only to jump right into Abyss’ hands. A hard clothesline drops Young again and Abyss goes outside to get a chair. The chair is placed on Eric’s ribs but he manages to turn it on its side to crotch a charging Abyss. Eric is sent into the corner and out to the apron where he comes back with a missile dropkick for two.

Just as Eric gets some momentum he gets sent face first into the chair in the corner and a chokeslam gets two. Abyss goes outside and gets his bag of tacks before loading up a superplex, only to have Young counter with a sunset powerbomb into the tacks for two. Eric goes up top but Abyss punches him off the top rope and out through the table in a huge crash. Back in and Young somehow gets his foot on the ropes to break the pin so Abyss pulls out the big weapon: Janice, the baseball bat full of nails. Young rips the mask off to save himself and reveal Joseph Park, earning himself the Black Hole Slam for the pin at 9:41.

Rating: B-. That might be a bit high but I was digging this match. It wasn’t the best hardcore match I’ve ever seen or anywhere close to it but Young was working well out there. I can tolerate him much more easily when he’s not being over the top and stupid which is what we got here. Abyss is a fun character too as there’s something awesome about a guy who just breaks stuff.

Abyss is a guy that has found his niche as TNA’s hardcore guy, but there’s a much more interesting character hidden beneath all the scars. He’s gone from being a monster to a complex character to a lawyer to the same old character he was before. There’s still a benefit to having him there but he relies on doing the same stuff over and over again.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: May 19, 2014
Location: 02 Arena, London, England
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s time for the post Wrestlemania European tour and things are in a big state of flux right now. Aside from the disastrous stock news on Friday, tonight we find out the fate of the WWE Championship due to Daniel Bryan being sidelined several months with neck surgery. The show was taped earlier in the day but I’ve avoided spoilers. Let’s get to it.

 

The Wyatts are in the ring to open the show and Bray sings the song as the fans all wave their phones for a pretty awesome visual. Bray talks about people laying his head down to sleep which is when everyone sees themselves as a superhero that can fix all the wrongs of the world and dream of payback. Then we wake up and see that we’re not really superheroes that can fix anything.

We kid ourselves by saying everything is fine but everything is wrong. Bray used to have this teacher that looked down on him and went to great measures to tell him that he was a piece of trash. She believed that everything she read in a book was true and everything he said was a lie. One day he went up to her and asked why she thought she was so much better than him. Was it because her parents paid for her to go to a school and waive her degree around, filling his head with propaganda?

Bray didn’t accept that so she told him that he was an evil boy. That woman is now in a retirement home while he’s here as the speaker of 1000 truths with the whole world in his hands. The fans start singing again and Bray loves it. That is his payback for the teacher that told him he was wrong. His tongue is the scorpion’s tail and he offers to save men like John Cena but John hides behind his false bravado.

The fans think Cena sucks and Bray promises to end this fairy tale at Payback. He’ll be the last man standing or no man will ever stand again. Tonight Luke Harper is going to put John Cena down. This brings out Cena, but he comes through the crowd to get at Bray as Harper and Rowan go to the aisle. Bray gets caught in the AA before Harper and Rowan can chase him off.

We recap Daniel Bryan being attacked by Kane last week and Stephanie saying how sorry she was. We’ll get the update on the title later tonight.

Here are Cesaro and Heyman with something to say. Heyman says the people in the ring are the stars while the fans are the wannabes. They should worship the mic he uses as he talks about Brock conquer the Streak. The fans finish the line for him so Heyman lays on the ground, asking who he is. “No I’m not your queen finally dead. I’M THE UNDERTAKER AT WRESTLEMANIA! EXCEPT I CAN GET UP!”

Sheamus vs. Cesaro

Non-title. Sheamus isn’t exactly popular in England. Cesaro takes him into the corner to start for a slap to the face but Cesaro bails to the floor before the ten forearms can get started. Back in and the ten forearms connect, but Cesaro bails to the floor again. They head back inside for some uppercuts from Cesaro as a JBL chant starts up. Sheamus comes back with the slingshot shoulder and the crowd has switched to JERRY. Cesaro sidesteps a charge to send Sheamus to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Cesaro ramming in knees to the ribs and putting on a sleeper. Sheamus quickly fights out with some shots to the ribs and the ax handles to the face. Not that it matters as Sheamus misses a charge into the post and Cesaro takes over again. The superplex from the apron gets two but Cesaro charges into the Irish Curse.

Sheamus hits the rolling fireman’s carry for another two and they have a hard slugout. Cesaro sends the Irishman chest first into the buckle and catches him coming off the top with the uppercut for two. Sheamus makes a quick comeback but gets distracted by Heyman, allowing Cesaro to grab a German suplex for the pin at 12:36.

Rating: C+. Two weeks. He’s been champion TWO WEEKS and he’s already getting pinned in the ring on Raw. Do they just want the titles to mean nothing at all or is this some massive rib that we don’t get? Yeah it’s Cesaro, but was there NO OTHER WAY to set up whatever they’re doing here?

Post match Cesaro won’t shake hands.

Shield vs. Evolution at Payback is now anything goes and an elimination match. We get a video of the end of last week’s show.

Big E. vs. Ryback

This is the first of eight Beat the Clock challenges. The winner in the fastest time gets an Intercontinental Title shot at Payback. Ryback runs Big E. over to start but E. shoves him into the corner with ease. A missed charge allows Ryback to take over again and stomp away before getting two off a suplex. Some hard elbows in the corner have Big E. in more trouble and a big driving shoulder puts him down again. Big E. grabs a belly to belly suplex for another two but Ryback nails a spinebuster and beats on his chest. The Meathook gets two but Big E. slips out of a powerbomb, setting up the Big Ending for the pin at 5:02.

Rating: D+. Not great here but it’s nice to see Big E. get a win like this. I can’t imagine that the time is going to hold up over the course of eight matches, but at it’s not a terrible time. I’m not sure who all they’re going to put into the challenge to have sixteen guys, but it might help get some people on television.

Some special Olympians trained at the WWE Performance Center. That’s always cool.

R-Truth/Trinity vs. Fandango/Layla

Fandango gets a BIG reaction, at least partially due to having the British Layla with him. Before the match, a LIVID Summer Rae storms out to the ring and kisses Fandango before getting into a catfight with Layla. No match.

Bolieve! This week on Smackdown.

We get Daniel Bryan’s music but it’s Stephanie coming out doing the YES pose. She says the fans should be chanting YES right now because Daniel Bryan is at home convalescing. She says she’s got some…well she’ll let someone else say it. We get a quick montage of Barrett saying he has BAD NEWS before we get a horrible imitation from Stephanie.

She’s thinking about stripping Bryan of the title and awarding it to Kane. Or she could strip him of the title and award it to Bad News Barrett. How about to Batista? Seriously though, if anyone is deserving, it should be HHH. In all seriousness though, Bryan won’t be stripped of the title. Instead, Bryan has to show up next week on Raw and surrender the title because it’s best for business. In other words, no real news this week.

Here are the Union Jacks, more commonly known as 3MB. Here’s his opponent.

Rusev vs. Heath Slater

Before the match Lana talks about how great Putin is and how the Soviet Union will take over England and America. Slater tries to dive on Rusev but all three Jacks are destroyed. We hed inside for the opening bell and pain quickly comes to Slater. There’s the spinning slam and the Accolade gets the submission at 38 seconds.

Shield still wants to know if that was Evolution’s best shot. Reigns is sporting a black eye from a match against Orton over the weekend. Rollins is ready for Batista tonight.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Rob Van Dam

Another Beat the Clock match with the time at 5:02. They trade some quick rollups for two each to start before Del Rio gets a quick suplex for two. Del Rio kicks him to the floor as we’ve got 3:30 to go in the clock. Back in and we hit the chinlock on RVD before he comes back with some lame clotheslines.

They seem to get mixed up with Van Dam wanting Rolling Thunder but Alberto being too close, forcing Rob into a legdrop instead. Del Rio comes back with a Backstabber for two but Van Dam kicks out of the armbreaker. A running flip splash keeps Del Rio down but the Five Star misses. A rolling cradle gets two for Alberto but he misses the low superkick, giving Rob the pin at 4:15.

Rating: C-. This is the problem with Beat the Clock: the matches don’t have time to go anywhere and people keep having to try for fast pins instead of giving the match a chance to build. These two don’t really have the best chemistry either, making the whole thing kind of mess. Fine from a technical standpoint but not much else.

We look back at the opening segment.

Cena is in the back and says he’ll have the Usos in his corner again tonight. At Payback, he’ll have to face a crowd full of Bray Wyatt’s followers. The three of them start rhythmically beating on their chests and do the We Say Us bit. This was rather strange.

Evolution is ready for Payback and tells Batista to take Rollins out.

Seth Rollins vs. Batista

Shield is banned from ringside, but HHH is guest ring announcer. His first announcement: Randy Orton is guest timekeeper. Rollins introduces Reigns and Ambrose as the special guest commentators to even things out. Batista hammers away to start but Rollins takes him into the corner for a quick stomping. Batista rams him into the apron as Ambrose is toying with JBL on commentary. Rollins escapes a powerslam and we take a break.

Back with Batista kicking Rollins out to the floor but holding his elbow in the corner. Evolution gets a bit too close to Rollins and Shield stands up to stop them. Back in and we hit the chinlock on Rollins before a hard elbow to the jaw gets two. Rollins fights back by shoving Batista off the ropes and nailing a running sleeper drop. A running dropkick puts Big Dave on the floor and there’s a nice suicide dive to take him down again.

Orton teases getting involved, drawing Ambrose and Reigns off commentary. Rollins misses the springboard knee to the head and gets caught by the spinebuster. Dave charges into a boot though and the springboard knee gets a VERY close two. Seth goes up again but gets shoved off the top, triggering a brawl on the floor. Ambrose runs across the announcers’ tables to take out HHH but gets caught by Orton. Rollins comes over to go after HHH but gets caught by a right hand, drawing the DQ at 13:42.

Rating: B-. I was digging this match but it’s a smart move to not have anyone job in the end. Rollins looked on equal footing with Batista out there, which is way more than I would have expected from him. Shield has looked completely equal to Evolution throughout this entire feud and that’s a GREAT sign.

Batista gets speared post match but a HHH distraction saves him from the Triple Bomb.

Alicia Fox vs. Paige

Non-title. Alicia kicks her right in the face to start but gets kicked in the chest and headbutted for her efforts. Fox bails to the floor but catches Paige coming out and rams her into the barricade. Back in and Fox leans over Paige for a slap to the face before sending Paige into the corner. Paige gets caught with a backbreaker into the corner and a kick to the ribs, allowing Fox to grab a deep cover for the pin at 3:32. Just like that.

Rating: D. Sheamus was bad enough. At the end of the day, this is still Alicia Fox. I think that’s about enough for the explanation.

Fox freaks out again post match, but this time due to happiness. She puts Lawler’s crown on to celebrate this time.

Luke Harper calls Cena a mouse that will be eaten by a snake. Bray says the Usos are dominoes that will be knocked over.

Mark Henry vs. Dolph Ziggler

Beat the Clock again with the time set at 4:15. Apparently this is the final match in the competition so I have no idea what Cole was talking about with eight. It’s not even eight people. Henry runs Ziggler over to start and suplexes him down as we’re already down to three minutes. Dolph falls to the floor but gets back in at eight. Ziggler hits what was supposed to be a Fameasser but looked more like a Rough Ryder for two.

Henry throws him outside again but Ziggler comes back with a quick dropkick. 90 seconds left. Another dropkick puts Henry down and we’ve got less than a minute to go. Dolph heads up top but gets caught in a powerslam for two. He loads up the World’s Strongest Slam but takes too long, allowing Ziggler to hit the Zig Zag. Time runs out though at 4:15 and Van Dam wins the challenge.

Rating: D+. This was an awkward match with both guys missing a few moves here and there. Van Dam winning the challenge is fine as he’ll get a good match out of Barrett. Ziggler winning would have been fine as well so there wasn’t a bad choice out of either guy here. The match didn’t work though.

Van Dam comes out and gets caught by a Bull Hammer from Barrett. Bad News sucks up to the London crowd and says there’s no way this Englishman is losing to a Yank. Rule Britannia plays Barrett out.

Renee Young brings out Adam Rose for a chat as JBL goes on a huge rant about how much he hates bunnies. Rose wants to know where his cheeseburger is and we’ve got a man named Ethan in a cheeseburger shirt. Rose: “He’s got sesame seeds on his buns. We’re taking him to the doctor next week.” The fans cut off the interview to sing the song (JBL: “STOP IT LONDON! THAT BUNNY COULD HAVE FLEAS!”) before Renee asks why Rose has targeted Swagger and Colter. He just wants them to stop being “grumpy pantses.”

Rose has the bunny dance (JBL: “Euthanize the bunny right now.”) but here are Swagger and Colter to interrupt. Colter wants to know what Rose’s deal is and even asks Swagger to stand back. He calls Rose the thing that is bringing America down and he’ll bring England down too. Colter wants to have a fight with Rose but Jack gets in a cheap shot. He goes after some of the members of the party but Rose is back up for the save.

Bolieve!

John Cena vs. Luke Harper

The Usos are here to counter Rowan and Harper and the phones come out for Bray’s entrance again. That’s quite a cool looking sight. The fans start the dueling chants as Cena hits a bulldog and a big boot to the face gets two. Harper gets in a shot of his own for two as we take our final break. Back with Harper knocking Cena down again before kicking him in the face for two. There’s the Gator Roll and a suplex gets another two count.

We get the singing John Cena Sucks chant as Cena comes back with the ProtoBomb but Harper is ready for the Shuffle and catches Cena in a German suplex. Harper misses a big boot and falls out to the floor, only to get caught in another ProtoBomb. Now the Shuffle connects but Luke escapes the AA and slams Cena face first for two. Harper busts out a dropkick of all things to send Cena to the floor, setting up a suicide dive.

Back in and Cena grabs a tornado DDT for two but gets caught by a superkick for an even closer near fall. Harper busts out a torture rack neckbreaker of all things but stops to look at Bray for support. Cena comes right back with the STF but Harper makes it into the ropes. The Usos take out Rowan and Bray but Wyatt pops up and hits a pair of Sister Abigails. He goes for Cena but gets low bridged, allowing Harper to hit a Michinoku Driver for another two. A quick AA connects but Rowan comes in for the DQ at 12:36.

Rating: C+. This was getting good but you knew there was no way Cena was jobbing here so there were only a few choices to end the match. Harper continues to look awesome in the ring as a power brawler and will certainly have a solid career once he’s no longer dealing with Bray anymore.

With the Usos down, Cena takes Sister Abigail as well and they take him up to the stage. Another Sister Abigail on the stage lays Cena out again. Bray sings while Harper slowly counts to ten to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Stupid booking of midcard champions aside, this worked well enough for the first part. I really could have done without the bait and switch for the title announcement but that’s what you come to expect from WWE. There was some decent enough stuff tonight and the Evolution vs. Shield segment was great. It’s right in the middle so the average grade seems to fit.

Results
Cesaro b. Sheamus – German suplex
Big E. b. Ryback – Big Ending
Rusev b. Heath Slater – Accolade
Rob Van Dam b. Alberto Del Rio – Rollup
Seth Rollins b. Batista via DQ when HHH interfered
Alicia Fox b. Paige – Kick to the ribs
Dolph Ziggler vs. Mark Henry went to a time limit draw
John Cena b. Luke Harper via DQ when Erick Rowan interfered

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Today is Monty Brown. Period.

 

Brown started in the NFL and didn’t start in wrestling until his early 30s. After starting in the indies for a few years, Brown was on some of the early TNA weekly PPVs, including their third show in July 3, 2002.

Anthony Ingram vs. Monty Brown

After Brown says he wants Shamrock, the squashing commences. After a powerslam the Alpha Bomb (starts in a slam position but Brown swings him into the air and powerbombs him down) gets the pin. Brown has what sounds like Abyss’ old music.

For something a bit longer, here’s another match from the tenth PPV.

NWA World Title: Ron Killings vs. Monty Brown

Truth is defending if that’s not clear. Brown shoves him around and they slug it out a bit with Brown taking over. A bunch of shoulder blocks get two on the champ but Truth low bridges him to send Brown to the floor. Truth dives onto Brown on the ramp before sending him into the steps and stomping away.

The champ gets on the announce table but Brown fights back. The Alpha Bomb through the table is blocked and they keep slugging it out. Brown hits a release overhead belly to belly, sending Truch onto his head. FREAKING OW MAN. Back in and Brown pounds away but walks into a Downward Spiral for two. Truth hooks a chinlock but Brown fights up and hits a sunset flip for two.

Brown grabs a suplex and after some LOUD spot calling, a snap suplex puts both guys down. A powerslam puts Truth down and a splash gets two for Monty. Truth does his signature backflip into the splits into the side kick sequence but Brown ducks away, only to get caught by the ax kick. That gets two and Brown has the Alpha Bomb countered into….I think that’s supposed to be a sunset flip by Truth for the pin to retain.

Rating: D-. This was AWFUL with both guys looking completely not ready for this level at all. Brown would get better when they just turned him into a monster that ran through people with the Pounce. This match sucked though, with both guys botching a ton of stuff, with the ending being an especially big eyesore. Nothing good at all from this one.

Brown would go back to the indies for all of 2003 and come back in 2004 as a monster. He would appear at the first three hour PPV, Victory Road 2004, in the first Monster’s Ball match.

Abyss vs. Monty Brown vs. Raven

This is the original Monster’s Ball match, which originally was far different. The idea here is that the guys have been locked up without light or food for 24 hours. This aspect has since completely disappeared due to reasons of sanity and now it’s just a regular hardcore match. The announcers say that Raven has the advantage here as he’s smaller and crazier which makes sense, at least in the lack of food and light idea.

We have a table set up inside of 30 seconds. Abyss is dominating here for the most part. It’s really more of an intense triple threat rather than a hardcore match and now we have chairs coming in. Raven really is underrated in the ring. I love what Brown does by just chucking a chair at Raven’s head. That’s awesome. Naturally we have a ref bump because they’re required I suppose.

Now we move to the big spots of the match as we have Brown sitting on the top rope and Abyss busts out the tacks. Since he’s the only one wearing a shirt you know that he’s the guy that’s going to wind up going through them. Yep, Raven comes in to powerbomb him while he’s trying to suplex Brown. That wasn’t predictable at all. Not a bit. Raven gets two off of it and then we set up another stupid spot as the table is set up in the corner and Raven gets Pounced (a spear/tackle) through it. It was a mess of course.

Rating: D+. These things are going to happen and while I can’t stand them, I get that there’s a point to them. There is a market for these I guess and at least they’re keeping it shorter. There’s really no way to make these good without going too far, but this was really lackluster even for one of these.

Brown would move up the card and be in a three way for a title shot at Final Resolution 2005.

Monty Brown vs. Diamond Dallas Page vs. Kevin Nash

This is under elimination rules. Brown’s theme sounds like a cover of Down with the Sickness. Nash has some weird instrumental stuff that sounds like R&B while Page has a cover of his famous cover. At least Page has the decency to wear a shirt out there. Nash chills in the corner and lets the other two go at it. Cutter doesn’t work early but he has the fans….only about half behind him as they like Monty also.

Shoulder puts Page on the floor as we hear about Brown having a Nikita Koloff poster on his wall as a kid. That would make him one of two people to have that poster but nice name drop if nothing else. This is kind of a handicap match but not really as Brown shifts off to Nash while Page chills in the corner. Big old side slam by Nash gets two. Headlock is countered into a suplex by Brown so Nash chills for a bit.

Apparently you can be eliminated by going over the top. What kind of a stupidly pointless rule is that? You can’t do a rollup and have to go out over the top? Really? Page takes Brown down with a discus lariat for two and LOUDLY calls a bunch of spots to him. DDT gets two on Page but Big Sexy saves. They finally start working together but Nash tries to double cross Page and is sent to the floor to get us down to one on one. Ah so it was so Nash wouldn’t have to get pinned. Now it makes sense.

Diamond Cutter out of NOWHERE gets two as Nash pulls Page out because he’s a jerk. Page gets sent into the post which gets two for Brown in the ring. Page gets a rollup out of the corner for two and another lariat gets two. Brown takes over with a wide variety of clotheslines and a fallaway slam for no cover. Powerslam gets two. Page tries a Diamond Cutter out of nowhere but gets reversed into the Pounds (Period) to end this and send Brown to the main event.

Rating: C. Match was ok and FAR better with the one on one stuff. Nash was kind of a third wheel here and I pretty much fail to see why he was there. Brown vs. Page wasn’t bad though as Page always had his matches worked out so well that it was hard for him to have a bad match against anyone competent, which Brown was for the most part. Decent here, but kind of unnecessary.

The title match was later that night.

NWA World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Monty Brown

This is a rematch from Impact where Brown got ripped off. Security has to hold them apart so JB can do the intros. Brown is mad over. Nothing of note to start and Jarrett gets to start. Jeff gets that dropkick of his as the first big move. Time for more strutting and Jarrett makes fun of Brown a bit. Jarrett rams into him and that gets him nowhere at all.

Gorilla press plants Jeff as it’s pretty clear this isn’t going to end clean. Brown gets him in a slam position but a thumb to the eye….does next of nothing to him as he slams Jarrett for two. Clothesline misses though and Monty is on the floor. LUCHA JARRETT but he gets caught (kind of) in mid air. To the floor and it’s time for brawling of course. Into the crowd they go and Jarrett pops Monty with a chair a few times. Remember that in TNA a DQ can change a title.

Back to ringside and it’s another chair shot to the ribs of Brown before they head to the announce table. After all that a belt shot isn’t allowed for some reason. Back in the ring and Jeff puts on a sleeper to eat up some time. Monty grabs one of his own but Jarrett uses the magical powers of experience to break out of it. Figure Four doesn’t work and Monty avoids the running hip to someone in the 619 position.

They hit the ropes a few times and hit heads to send both guys down. They slug it out with Brown taking over because he has more experience punching. I mean, what else does he actually do? Alpha Bomb (slam into a powerbomb) gets two. Spinning neckbreaker (called the Circle of Life apparently) gets two. Stroke is blocked and we have a ref bump. Guitar shot puts him down after he stands around for a few seconds but it only gets two.

The referee is holding his knee still so Jarrett grabs the chair. Brown puts him in an electric chair and blocks a shot to the head before dropping backwards to put both guys down. Jeff gets two off that as I guess he didn’t block the whole thing. Pretty weak belt shot puts Monty down again but he power kicks out at two. Brown makes his comeback but the Pounce kills the referee again.

Jarrett has a second guitar but Brown counters with a chokeslam for no cover because there’s no referee. Guitar shot looks to kill Jarrett dead but there’s STILL no referee. At least it’s from a finisher and not like a punch. A second referee comes out for a two count but Jarrett gets part of the guitar in for two. Stroke hits, Brown gets up before the cover, Stroke hits, Brown gets up before the cover, low blow, Stroke, pin.

Rating: B-. This was an ok main event brawl but at the same time there wasn’t a ton of chemistry out there. It hurt that Brown can only do a few things and the idea was that he can’t be taken down by anything. The match wasn’t all that bad but after the other two matches it really paled in comparison. Good stuff though.

Brown stayed in the title hunt and would compete in King of the Mountain at Slammiversary 2005.

NWA World Title: AJ Styles vs. Raven vs. Abyss vs. Monty Brown vs. Sean Waltman

The idea here is you have to hang the belt above the ring, sort of like a reverse ladder match. However before you can do that, you have to qualify by getting a fall on someone else. Whoever is pinned/submits goes to the penalty box for two minutes. Waltman dives off the box onto Raven while Styles dives off a ladder onto Brown. Brown shrugs him off and goes inside where he Pounces Raven and pins him to qualify. Raven has to go to the box.

AJ hits a huge dive to take out Waltman and Abyss so it’s Brown/Waltman in the ring. AJ sets for the springboard forearm but Abyss breaks it up. A spinwheel kick puts Abyss down but Brown breaks up the Bronco Buster. Raven is let out ten seconds early for some reason. Alpha Bomb pins Waltman which doesn’t change anything for Brown but Waltman goes to the box. Raven has a table set up at ringside.

AJ dives off the cage to take out Abyss. The camera work is lacking a bit here as we keep missing stuff. Brown hits the Pounce on AJ but Raven pulls him to the floor for the pin to become eligible. Abyss loads up Shock Treatment on Brown but Raven beats them both up with a trashcan. Styles and Waltman are forming an alliance in the box. Waltman is now out and he grabs another trashcan to take Brown down with.

The clock ends for AJ as Abyss hits the Black Hole Slam to pin Brown. AJ and Waltman aren’t eligible yet. As I say that AJ hits the Clash on Raven but Abyss makes the save. Pele puts Abyss down and Waltman cracks the masked man with a chair. No one has used a ladder yet. Waltman puts Abyss on the table and AJ hits Spiral Tap, which is good for a pin for AJ.

Brown is released and here’s the first ladder. Raven throws Brown into the barricade and AJ is going up the ladder. He drops the title, but Waltman hands it to him. Naturally that’s a swerve and Waltman hits the X Factor off the ladder, good for a pin. There’s a table in the corner now too. Raven staples Waltman’s head and Abyss is free. Abyss and Raven both get staples between their legs but Waltman gets taken down as well.

Waltman gets up first and chokes Abyss. Does anyone know where the belt is? Waltman sets up a ladder as Styles is released. They both go up and fight on top of the ladder but Abyss shoves it over. A Pounce puts Abyss through the table but Raven DDTs Brown. He goes up the ladder and Abyss can’t stop him, giving Raven the win and the title.

Rating: B-. This was a fun match but as always with these matches, they’re wild brawls that no one can keep up with. Well ok maybe that’s a stretch but they’re still chaotic. It’s probably a little too complicated but this is TNA’s signature mess and that’s ok for the most part. Raven winning should have won the title a year or so earlier but still, this worked well and he would have a good reign.

It’s another #1 contenders match, this time at Genesis 2005.

Jeff Hardy vs. Monty Brown

Winner gets Jarrett at some point in the future. The fans are almost universally behind Hardy. Jawbreaker slows Brown down….then Hardy sticks his hands out and shouts before crawling on the ground. Brown grabs him into a fallaway slam to take over. Jeff avoids a charge and Monty goes to the floor, but Hardy’s baseball slide misses and he hits the steel. Brown throws him into the crowd and Jeff is in trouble.

Jeff walks on a barricade and dives onto Brown who was nice enough to stand there and let him. At least he’s polite. Back in and Jeff is almost immediately thrown back to the floor over the top. The fans are split but the fans are more in Hardy’s corner. Whisper in the Wind misses and Hardy is in trouble. A double clothesline hits and both guys go down. Now Whisper in the Wind works and Jeff starts his comeback. Legdrop between the legs makes Monty’s eyes bug out.

The Twist of Fate is countered into an Alpha Bomb attempt but Jeff counters into the reverse Twist of Fate, which of course West calls the same thing. Either way it only gets two. Jeff goes up for the Swanton but it only hits mat. Monty gets up and CRUSHES Jeff with the Pounce for the pin. Apparently this just moves Monty up in the rankings instead of giving him a title match. You know, because that’s SO much different than any regular match right?

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much for the most part. Jeff’s selling was great of course but Monty was pretty much just another power guy. He wasn’t bad or anything but not much aside from his finisher made him stand out or anything. Not a bad match or anything but it’s really just kind of there.

And then an actual one on one title match, from Destination X 2006.

NWA World Title: Christian Cage vs. Monty Brown

Yeah still the NWA Title here which would last about another 14 months when Christian would be stripped of the title. Brown is a big old strong guy that uses a half spear/half shoulder block as a finisher. He’s a bit more known in WWE as Marcus Cor Von. Christian was certainly over in Orlando. Christian is the hometown boy so he’s by far and away the favorite. That and he’s a face.

Dueling chants begin and here we go. Christian has bad ribs because it’s illegal to be fully healthy against a monster challenger I guess. Christian grabs a headlock but Brown gets a shot to the ribs to break it up. They trade chops and Christian gets tossed to the floor. They brawl into the crowd where the people seem, shall we say, not very interested. Back to the ring and more slugging occurs.

And never mind as we’re right back to the floor. Christian tries to come back in off the top but gets caught by a punch to the ribs. This time they slug it out on the apron for a little variety before they go to the floor again. Into the ring again for more punching to the ribs of the champion. To say this is repetitive is like saying Austin likes to drink. Brown drapes him over the ropes and sends him into the post/buckle for two.

We hit the abdominal stretch which is a perfectly logical move. We’re over ten minutes into this match and I don’t think Christian has used anything other than punches or chops. Tornado DDT is reversed for two. Cage fires off some forearms before Brown hits him in the ribs to remind us that he knows how to do that. Down goes Monty but the frog splash misses for Christian and we hit another rib hold, this one on the mat.

To the corner now with Brown hammering on the ribs again. Christian knocks him off the top and drops a backsplash for two. Unprettier is blocked into an Alpha Bomb for two (big powerbomb). Unprettier is blocked into an F5 for two. Another Alpha Bomb is blocked into the Unprettier to end this. At least it’s over.

Rating: D+. Really dull match here as Brown was trying but Christian’s offense was so one dimensional for the first 12-14 minutes that it was putting me to sleep. Brown isn’t a guy capable of going 17 minutes without boring people to tears and that’s exactly what the case was here. Bad main event that needed to be about 5 minutes shorter to make it work in any fashion.

Brown would jump to WWE as Marcus Cor Von, where he debuted on the ECW brand. Here’s one of his first matches from April 10, 2007.

Marcus Cor Von vs. Rob Van Dam

This is part of the New Breed vs. ECW Originals story. Sabu and Elijah Burke are the seconds here. Feeling out process to start with neither getting an advantage with right hands or kicks. I’ll let you figure out which tried which. Rob tries a monkey flip out of the corner but has to use a hurricanrana to counter a powerbomb.

A hard clothesline puts Van Dam down and a slam does the same as Taz calls Burke Knute Rockne. We hit the chinlock for a bit before a neckbreaker gets two for Cor Von. Rob gets two off a rollup out of the corner but walks into a belly to back suplex to put both guys down. Back to the chinlock before a HUGE release German plants Van Dam for two.

There’s a third chinlock followed by some stomps to Rob’s face for two. It’s a FOURTH chinlock as this is dragging already. Van Dam fights up again and nails a bunch of kicks including a springboard kick to the jaw. A spinning legdrop is good for two and the top rope kick drops Cor Von again. Burke jumps the injured Sabu, and the distraction allows Marcus to hit the Pounce for the pin.

Rating: D+. As I mentioned in the Christian match, Brown’s offense was rather limited and couldn’t last in a ten minute match. He needed someone to help him expand his offense with some other power moves. Yeah he was strong, but the amount of chinlocks in this match was WAY too high.

Here’s the big showdown between the two factions at Wrestlemania XXIII.

New Breed vs. ECW Originals

It’s Elijah Burke/Matt Striker/Kevin Thron/Marcus Cor Van vs. Rob Van Dam/Tommy Dreamer/Sabu/Sandman and for no reason whatsoever this is a regular eight man tag instead of the Extreme Rules match we would get on ECW a few days later. Striker starts with Sabu and Matt is in early trouble. It’s quickly off to Sandman vs. Burke but before Sandy does much he brings in Dreamer. Cor Von hits Dreamer in the back and comes in to pound away a bit.

It’s quickly back to Burke (the New Breed’s leader and more famous as D’Angelo Dinero) for the running knees to the back for two. Thorn comes in to crush Dreamer into the corner and put on a chinlock. Back up and a sitout powerbomb gets two for Thorn and here’s Cor Von again. Burke comes in as well but Dreamer takes them down with a simultaneous neckbreaker/reverse DDT combo. The hot tag brings in Van Dam and there’s the top rope kick to Thorn. Rolling Thunder lands on Striker as everything breaks down. With everyone else on the floor, Van Dam Five Stars Striker for the pin.

Rating: D+. Seriously, why wasn’t this the Extreme Rules match? The whole point of ECW is to be extreme but we got a seven minute tag match which went nowhere at all. The theory was to finally let these guys get on Wrestlemania, but Van Dam had been on it before and won a title here. Nothing to see here at all.

The New Breed would win the rematch (an extreme rules match on TV instead of here for some reason) but CM Punk would jump in to continue the feud. From May 8, 2007 on ECW on SyFy.

CM Punk vs. Marcus Cor Von

Punk scores with some quick dropkicks to send Cor Von outside but he gets pulled out for a beating. Cor Von rams his back into the apron before hammering away at the ribs back inside. We hit the bearhug followed by some knees to the back and a release belly to belly suplex for two. Punk finally comes back with a kick to the head and a springboard clothesline but the ribs slow down the cover. A tornado DDT is countered by Brown shoving him out to the floor and the ribs are in more trouble. Back in and Punk scores with some forearms, only to get caught with the Pounce for the completely clean pin.

Rating: C-. You could see the potential in Brown starting to come out here. Stuff like the knees to the back and the suplexes were a great breath of air after the chinlocks and slams to Van Dam. He wasn’t ready to main event Summerslam or anything yet, but he was already getting better in the ring.

We’ll wrap it up there as it would be downhill for the New Breed after this and Cor Von would retire due to some family issues resulting in him having to take care of some children.

While he wasn’t around all that long, Brown was definitely a guy with some potential due to how strong he was. He wasn’t going to be anything huge but he was perfect for a young company like TNA. The Pounce worked perfectly and was better than a lot of spears that you see from bigger names. Had he debuted earlier in life he could have been something very solid.

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WRESTLER! OF THE! DAY! It’s Rob Van Dam.

 

Van Dam got started around 1990 and had some interesting matches and opponents before he got famous. We’ll start with a match in the USWA on July 6, 1991.

Rob Zakowski vs. Samu

Rob looks like Shane Douglas here in regular trunks with long hair. That’s not the Samu you’re thinking of either. Instead of a fat Samoan, it’s a homicidal, genocidal death defying guy from Michigan better known as Sabu. Rob hits a quick dropkick and an armdrag into the ropes. Back in and another dropkick puts Samu down and a suplex gets two. Samu comes back with a knee to the chest and a front chancery to slow things down. Rob comes back with a backslide for two and some rapid fire kicks to the chest drop Samu. He goes up top but Samu’s partner (Judge Dredd) shoves him down, allowing Samu to get an easy pin.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much but Rob was brand new and still trying to figure out his way around the ring. He would get much better very soon when he found a style that worked for him and could incorporate more high flying into his offense. Sabu was pretty much his usual self here minus the tables.

Another match in WCW would be against a man named Scotty Flamingo on February 13, 1993. Flamingo is more famous as another bird: Raven.

Scotty Flamingo vs. Robbie V

Rob has most of his signature look down now. Scotty grabs a headlock to start but Rob comes back with a spinning kick to the face. A headlock takes Flamingo to the mat before Rob jumps to the top rope (in the middle of the ring instead of the corner) and comes off with a spinning cross body. Flamingo takes him back down and stomps away, followed by a dropkick for two. We hit the chinlock on Rob but he’s quickly on his feet with another spinning kick. A powerslam sets up the split legged moonsault for the pin on Flamingo and a big upset.

Soon after this, Rob would be part of a TV Title tournament. I’m not sure when this was but the tournament was over before April.

TV Title Tournament Second Round: Vinnie Vegas vs. Robby V

Vegas is more famous as Diesel. He shoves Robby around to start but Rob immediately nips up. A hard slam puts V down again and some kicks to the ribs have him in even more trouble. Vegas throws him to the floor with ease but V comes back with a nice series of kicks and a cross body for two. Vinnie calmly chokes him down for two but V fights back with more kicks and a right hand. More choking has V in trouble so he fires off even more kicks for another comeback. Vegas gets tired of all these kicks and ends Robby with Snake Eyes for the pin.

Rating: C. I liked this WAY more than I thought I would. There was a nice chemistry going here with Van Dam’s kicks working really well against a monster like Vegas. This is a match I’d like to see again once they have more experience and know what they’re doing better than they did here as it could be very entertaining.

A few years in Japan went by and it was time for Rob to go where he would shine the brightest: ECW. Here’s his debut match from January 5, 1996.

Axl Rotten vs. Rob Van Dam

They circle each other to start and Axl gives him a nice round of applause. More circling ensues and a lockup goes nowhere at all. Rotten gives in to temptation and makes it a brawl like you knew he would but Rob comes back with a springboard cross body for two and it’s another standoff. The shoulders in the corner give Van Dam control and a rolling chop to the ribs gets two. Rotten grabs something like a t-bone suplex but misses a top rope elbow. Van Dam kicks him in the face and what would become the Five Star gets two. A standing moonsault gets the same and the split legged moonsault is enough to pin Axl.

Rating: D+. This was a bit better than I was expecting but at the same time Rotten just wasn’t very good. He was there because he could brawl but he wasn’t much of a technical master. As Jim Cornette put it, “And then you have the Rottens and oh boy were they.” Van Dam had a style that was going to get over with ECW and it worked in time.

Van Dam would hook up with Sabu and get a Tag Team Title shot at Cyberslam 1997.

Tag Titles: Eliminators vs. Rob Van Dam/Sabu

Eliminators are Perry Saturn and John Kronus who you shouldn’t know. This is a ladders/tables match which means they’re legal. You win by pinfall or submission and the Eliminators have the titles. Saturn talks about how awesome ECW is and how they’re going to Raw on Monday, which is true. This is on a Saturday (I think) and the ECW Invasion (not the Alliance one but a one night one) happened on Raw while the WWF guys were on a European tour.

This is a rematch apparently but Joey doesn’t tell us when the original match was from. The losers have to shake the hands of the winners. Van Dam and Sabu are heels here. Apparently the challengers have almost won the titles from this team before so this is an established feud. Saturn vs. Van Dam to start us off here. They hit the mat to start as there are tags here to make it seem like this is a regular match with rules for awhile.

They slug it out for a bit and a dropkick gets two for Van Dam. Sabu comes in but there was no tag so it doesn’t count. Off to Kronus who was good but not great. He gets Sabu now so this should be a bit faster paced. Saturn gets a modified Rock Bottom for two and Sabu works on the knee a bit. Half crab goes on so Saturn kicks Sabu in the head. I love using that as a counter. It’s so basic. Got a problem? KICK HIM IN THE FACE!

Sabu and Van Dam do some stuff that the Guns would later do in TNA but would do it a bit better and faster. A forearm by Kronus takes him and RVD out to the floor. Saturn and Van Dam fight for a ladder so the partners kick both of them, sending everyone to the floor. Kronus dives on RVD while Sabu and Saturn go into the crowd. Now the other pairing goes to the outside also as it’s a total brawl.

Saturn and Sabu are up by the….well by everything really as there was a lot put in one small area at these shows. Sabu gets a chair shot to Saturn back in the ring and the Triple Jump Moonsault hits Saturn as well. It’s ladder time and Van Dam hits a moonsault off the second rung of it, as in the second from the ground as the ladder was laid at an angle against the rope.

To the shock of no one, everything breaks down even though we’re still sticking with the corners. Nice to see them pretend that this has rules for awhile. Kronus hits a handspring elbow into the corner into Van Dam into the ladder. A ladder shot misses the challengers so they botch another attempt at it as the Eliminators keep control. This is threatening to get very sloppy rather quickly.

Kronus THROWS the ladder at Van Dam and it smacks him in the head. FREAKING OW MAN! Another ladder comes in so Van Dam puts Saturn in the surfboard. You know, because that’s what you want to see in a tables and ladders match right? Submission wrestling! Arabian Facebuster with the ladder gets two on Saturn. Saturn avoids a double clothesline (read as he runs through it) and hits one of his own but no tag.

Slingshot leg drop gets no count for Sabu and it’s off to Kronus. Double kick to Sabu as the tagging has finally died off. Total mess now with nothing at all as far as coherence. Sabu gets a big dive off the top rope into the front row to half kill Saturn. Van Dam adds a moonsault press off the guardrail to Kronus as Sabu and Saturn are back in the ring now.

Saturn hits a splash from the top of the ladder to Van Dam for no cover as Sabu is fighting again. Kronus and Sabu go to the floor as ladders are set up in the ring. With Saturn put on the ladder which is draped on the middle rope, RVD tries the split legged moonsault and botches it worse than Morrison ever dreamed of. Sabu hits the leg lariat to both guys including one that would be called Poetry in Motion when the Hardys used it later. The challengers get rammed together and a pair of Total Eliminations (Saturn with a leg sweep, Kronus with a spin kick to the face) to RVD ends this. Total mess in the second half.

Rating: D+. This got twenty minutes. Let that sink in a bit. They gave Sabu and Kronus twenty minutes. This was decent but the botches and the constant changing of the tag requirements (every company does this. Either have them or don’t) and the length it really got dragged down. The Eliminators had FAR better matches but this wasn’t one of them. Too long and way too sloppy.

One of Van Dam’s most interesting angles was thinking about jumping to the WWF as Mr. Monday Night when the companies were co-promoting. He would appear on Raw on May 12, 1997 against someone we’ll see more of later.

Rob Van Dam vs. Jeff Hardy

Most people don’t know who Van Dam is here but even fewer know who Hardy is. Jeff is also billed from Virginia which seems to confuse the Fink. Before the match Jerry Lawler introduces Van Dam as being from ECW and how awful it is, save for Van Dam. Rob doesn’t like ECW either and wants to be in the WWF.

Jeff would be 19 here and we get an ECW chant to get things going. A monkey flip puts Hardy down and a bad looking lifting Pedigree plants him. Van Dam hits a spinwheel kick to the face to knock Hardy to the floor, setting up a nice flip dive. Back in and a spinning leg drop draws a YOU SOLD OUT chant. The Five Star connects but Rob doesn’t cover. Instead he hits the split legged moonsault for an easy pin on Hardy. Total squash and Rob looked very flashy. Jeff’s selling was solid as well.

After being a decent but not great guy in ECW, Van Dam would start picking up gold when he and Sabu won the ECW Tag Team Titles in 1998. Here’s their defense in a match I just don’t get at what is considered ECW’s best show ever, Heat Wave 1998.

Tag Titles: Hayabusa/Shinzaki vs. Rob Van Dam/Sabu

This is considered one of the gold standards of ECW so let’s see if it’s as good as I’ve been told that it is. The fans are into the Walk theme music for RVD and that’s an understatement. Van Dam is also the TV Champion. It’s amazing that he held it more or less until the company ended minus six months. The announcer butchers Shinzaki’s name to an extent that even I roll my eyes at it.

They say Sabu is from Bombay, Michigan and that never gets old. There’s no storyline here as they’ve just brought the guys in for a one off match. Ok then. Hayabusa and Van Dam start us off. We get a stall for a good while before we actually start. It’s an old Memphis tactic that I’ve always hated. They do a sloppy rollup/leg lock spot. Not a great starting point.

We get a you f’d up chant off blown spot number two. We’re MAYBE two minutes into this by the way. Off a kick to the face (think Kofi’s Trouble in Paradise) Hayabusa misses Rob’s head by about 6 inches yet Van Dam sells it anyway. There’s been WAY too much walking around and doing nothing here. In what’s likely Shinzaki’s biggest move, he does a praying rope walk around the top rope like Taker but he goes around a corner.

Let me make sure I’ve got this straight. Van Dam is just holding onto him walking for about 8 seconds and has a free arm and two free feet, and we’re supposed to believe he’s just going to go quietly? ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? When Taker does it it’s about 2 seconds on the ropes and nothing more. Not only is this sloppy, but it’s not making much sense.

And Sabu hasn’t even been in until now. He comes in for a cover. That makes sense. Nothing says high impact and cool looking offense like a chinlock! I think Hayabusa stole his attire from Hannibal from WCW/NWO Revenge. SUE HIM IMMEDIATELY!

Sabu shows some intelligence as he dropkicks the knee and then WORKS ON THE LEG! I’m stunned actually. After a LONG time of mat work etc we get to the high flying stuff that this is supposed to be about. Hayabusa is moving out there. We’re in the crowd now in case you were wondering. We’re out of the crowd now in case you were wondering.

Shinzaki and Sabu are in the ring while the other two are down on the floor. Van Dam puts Shinzaki in a bow and arrow so Sabu can hit him in the ribs with a chair. Again, WHY DO YOU NEED THE CHAIR??? The match was just starting to get good and we bring in a pointless chair because Sabu can’t work more than 5 minutes without a weapon. If you want to know what drives me the craziest about ECW, it’s THAT.

Sabu goes out, the chairs are taken out, and the match is instantly going up in value. Hayabusa going insane off the ropes is fun to watch. Why do we need chairs and weapons? Sabu hits a decent jumping hurricanrana. That wasn’t bad at all. See, if he tries, he could do some decent NON WEAPON RELATED stuff. Shinzaki hits what we would call a Pele kick on Van Dam. Hayabusa hits a 450 splash and this isn’t terrible.

Sabu hooks a Boston Crab so Van Dam can go up for a leg drop. It turns out to be an leg drop on his head but whatever. This has lost anything resembling flow or actual tag wrestling and is just a mess anymore. If that’s the case, what was the point of the tagging thing earlier? We have a table and I more or less give up now. Shinzaki hits a WEIRD looking leg twist on Van Dam. It was cool looking if nothing else.

More chair use as Van Dam jumped from one side of the ring to another for kind of a Van Daminator. Sabu hurts his hand doing something. They break the table. Not break through it but just break it. So we get two more! Oh and a chair which is slammed over Hayabusa’s head. A Van Daminator takes down Shinzaki.

In the big spot of the match, both Japanese guys are on one table and the champions go up top and crash through both guys. That ends it. Seriously? It should be noted that in every replay, the champions use weapons and the challengers never do. That should tell you a few things.

Rating: D+. The first half of this was pretty good. It wasn’t great at all but I didn’t expect it to be. After about ten minutes though it’s your standard ECW tag match: weapons, ridiculous spots with zero transitions, and a complete lack of anything resembling tagging. Also, the first half is made to look pointless as they tagged then but they don’t in the second half. BE CONSISTENT BLAST IT! It’s watchable I guess, but it’s nothing I’m going to remember in about a day or so. This is the best tag match ECW ever had? That explains a lot.

Rob would pick up the TV Title around this time and hold if for 700 days. Here’s a title defense from Guilty As Charged 1999.

TV Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Lance Storm

Dawn Marie isn’t human. She can’t be. Storm gets in a great line: he’s not the whole F’ing show but he’s the best part of it. Now Paul make sure you pay attention to the reaction that Van Dam gets, because you won’t be hearing anything like it in the main event. We get a LONG feeling out process that actually isn’t boring at all. I’ve always liked the way Storm threw punches for some reason. Storm gets the half crab which doesn’t mean anything yet.

Fonzie and Dawn (Tammy Lynn Bytch at the time but not a lot of people would get that name) go at it on the floor which lets Van Dam take over. SWEET superkick by Storm. Has to be the second best guy at that ever. We’re in the crowd now and in probably one of the five sickest bumps I’ve ever seen, Van Dam gets a reverse DDT onto the floor. No protection at all and he just slams into it.

Storm is WAY underrated in the ring. This has been solid stuff so far, but I’d like more in ring stuff. Storm is a Canadian bad boy apparently. Van Dam more or less cuts a promo in the middle of the match. That’s just awesome. Ah there we go. We’re back in the ring. I don’t mind the insane stuff as long as it winds up being about wrestling. Van Dam goes for the Van Daminator (why can’t he go for coffee or lunch instead?) but Storm jumps away. WHAT A BRILLIANT IDEA!!!

It connects the second time and Storm is out cold. Oh ok he was faking. The referee takes a SWEET looking Van Daminator. After Fonzie interferes, a Van Daminator from the top gets two. The quick taunts from Van Dam are what set him apart I think. Like I’ve said before, the playing to the crowd is a signature of the all time greats like Austin, Rock, Sting, Hogan and Flair. In a very surprising finish, we get a wrestling sequence and Van Dam gets the CLEAN pin with a nice German suplex. I greatly approve.

Rating: B. Good stuff here but the overbooking and interference hurt it a bit. This was one of those matches where both guys could definitely bring it and they did here. The ending worked very well too as Van Dam beat him with his own game. What more can you ask for? Solid stuff.

Van Dam’s biggest rival in ECW was Jerry Lynn, who challenged him for the TV Title on several occasions. Here’s one such match from Hardcore Heaven 1999.

TV Title: Jerry Lynn vs. Rob Van Dam

Crowd is WAY behind Van Dam here. No time limit here after what happened at Living Dangerously. Hear those cheers Paul? They’re the ones drowning out the music. I think they’re chanting “Heyman push this freaking man you freaking idiot!” Lynn is another guy I like more every time I see him so this should be solid. They do a decent mat wrestling sequence to start but not as good as last time.

NICE there as Lynn goes for a counter he used at Living Dangerously and RVD gets out of the way of it this time. THAT is psychology people. They’re doing a start and stop thing here where they do a sequence and then walk around for awhile. The action is good but it’s like pausing it and watching a match in pieces which isn’t good. Good night wrestle already! Yeah they’re wrestling, but only in pieces.

We’ve had maybe 2 and a half minutes of action out of five minutes gone by. Sweet springboard dropkick from Lynn. See what I mean by when they actually do stuff it’s good? Fonzie is yelling about how this is what the 19.95 the fans paid for is all about. Creative line if nothing else. Van Daminator misses. And Lynn might be hurt so we can kill more time.

Something tells me this had about 20 minutes planned rather than the 27 it wound up getting due to the amount of stalling here. Lynn does the corner rollup that Booker T used for a long time. I think this is the match that aired on the debut of ECW on TNN. On the floor we get a Van Daminator with Lynn making sure to hold the chair up so it hits. Hey look: more stalling!

Did Larry Zbyszko book this or something? Half of this has been on the floor too. Lynn hits a sunset powerbomb through a table which more or less explodes. Ok stalling after big spots at least makes sense. Fonzie has a chair pelted at him and down he goes. They botch the heck out of something and the fans let them know about it.

Lynn hits a Van Daminator for two. Van Dam hits Starship Pain minus the twisting. There’s your five star but Lynn rolls him up for two. Van Dam hits his third Van Daminator out of about 7 tried. Another Five Star ends it. Good but not great. They high five after the match which is always a good sign.

Rating: B. This is a good match, but not a classic like everyone says it is. There are some major holes in it, with the main one being the standing around. The Van Daminators got OLD fast. We get it. You can kick someone holding a chair. We’ll ignore how stupid the move is (hey he handed me a chair. I wonder what I should do with it.) for now. The drama is there but it’s not epic. Solid though. Just far too much brawling and stalling for my taste, but it’s entertaining which is the main idea. Would have been way better with five to seven less minutes. Good match, but there was no shock or anything like that to make it great.

Van Dam would break his ankle in early 2000 and have to forfeit the title because he was on the shelf for a few months. His first match back was against Jerry Lynn at Hardcore Heaven 2000.

Rob Van Dam vs. Jerry Lynn

This is Van Dam’s return match and his BEST FRIEND Scotty Anton is at ringside. I’m sure nothing bad can happen there. DANG Van Dam is over, and yet he wouldn’t get the world title until he beat Cena in 2006. Brilliant Heyman, brilliant. Van Dam is so over it’s scary. Let’s get it on! I’ve always wanted to say that, so I said it out loud and then I typed it.

We start with a wrestling sequence and then we stall for a bit. We do another nice sequence with little contact being made but ending with a standoff and a standing ovation. The best part about it was that in their first match it ended with Lynn hitting a legdrop. In the second it ended with the legdrop missing a Van Dam kicking him. Here both of those missed and they continued the sequence.

That gets this match major points as that’s incredibly intricate thinking in there. Van Dam poses and stalls again so Lynn just pops him. I like that as we’re physical now. Where’s Olivia Newton-John when I need her? Now the fans like Jerry. Sure why not. Van Dam goes to some of his old favorites and Lynn is in trouble. Van Dam beats him down again and so he poses for a third time in about five minutes.

Apparently Lynn has been out for like five months or so also. This is one of if not his first matches back. In a strange moment, Fonzie just walks into the ring and puts a chair down before leaving. Lynn does what only Dreamer has done that I remember and counters the Van Daminator by just throwing the chair at Rob. That was awesome. Cyrus wants Fonzie to be flogged.

The spots here are pretty cool, but they’re just kind of preplanned. Of course they are, but they’re not supposed to look like they are. Ah ok Lynn has been back for about a month now. There have been a lot of counters and such in this and it’s been cool, but I’d like some more contact. Ah there we go as Lynn bulldogs Van Dam through the table. The problem was that he went through it at the same time so it hurt them both about equally.

Lynn hits a front flip onto Anton so we’re down to only three people being involved in the match. Fonzie interferes for the fourth time as it’s just stupid at this point. Van Daminator hits with Lynn sitting on the top rope. RVD hits the Five Star onto a chair onto Lynn and Cyrus leaves the broadcast place. Here are Corino and Victory as Lynn is a part of the Network…ok no he’s not. Rhyno Gores Lynn for no apparent reason. There’s a powerbomb for RVD.

Cyrus takes a Van Daminator, causing Joey to need new pants. Fonzie takes a chair shot to FINALLY make it 1-1. And of course Anton shoves Anton off the top. Let’s see: Corino, Victory, Fonzie, Anton, Cyrus, and Rhyno. Hey only six people interfered in this. Cradle Piledriver gets two but a Cradle Piledriver on the chair ends it. If this was a year ago, this would have changed ECW. Now it means nothing.

Rating: B. Solid stuff here, but GOOD FREAKING NIGHT DO YOU THINK THEY HAD ENOUGH RUN INS HERE??? Anton and Fonzie are the only two that mean a thing here or make enough sense. This is a much better match if you have only them running in but it’s still overbooked to heck and back.

The company would go out of business less than a year later with Van Dam sitting out the end due to not being paid other than one appearnace at their last PPV. Rob would show up the night the Alliance formed in the WWF before challenging Jeff Hardy for the Hardcore Title at InVasion.

Hardcore Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Jeff Hardy

Why all the TNA on TNA violence? RVD’s outfit is tiger print of all things tonight. He looks like Tony the Tiger in spandex. This should be fun. Hardy isn’t a huge deal yet but he’s in the midcard. Van Dam is WAY over. Crowd is red hot for this as it was more or less the second featured match on the card. Hardy goes for his run the rail spot and Van Dam makes the stop by jumping up on it to stop him. Nice.

Into the crowd now. This is totally sloppy and totally a mess but since it’s a hardcore match, it’s working rather well actually. The crowd is helping it a lot also. Van Dam takes a bow which is a very nice touch. With Van Dam on the apron, Hardy slingshots over the ropes into a powerbomb to the floor. Sweet looking spot and it’s ladder time. This had to happen. In another sick spot, Hardy is on the top of the ladder, and I mean the big one, and is pushed off and crashes to the floor.

This was what gave us the “How do you learn to fall off a 20ft ladder” soundbyte. In another, say it with me, sick spot, Van Dam is crouched but jumps into the air for a Van Daminator that looked GREAT. It knocked Hardy through the hole into the stage to the floor. We’ve reached the part where it’s just them beating the living crap out of each other and the fan are flat out eating it up.

The belt is in the ring as Hardy gets a nice German Suplex. Jeff is bleeding a bit. Swanton misses. With Jeff down, Van Dam puts the belt on Hardy’s chest and hits the 5 Star for the pin. Fun match.

Rating: B+. This is a great example of a match where you have to consider what was going on out there. This wasn’t meant to be a mat clinic or anything. This was about high impact, high intensity over the top spots and that’s what the fans got. This was fun as all goodness and the crowd loved it. Great match.

Van Dam would trade the title with Hardy and others for awhile, before getting it back for a defense against Undertaker on November 21, 2001.

Hardcore Title: Undertaker vs. Rob Van Dam

Van Dam is defending and he fires off strikes in the corner to start. Taker comes back with right hands in the corner as well but Van Dam clotheslines him to the floor. Van Dam dives at Taker but gets caught and rammed into the post. They go up to the stage and Taker misses a boot so that his leg gets caught in part of the set. Van Dam climbs up said set and dives off with a cross body for a very delayed two.

Rob knocks Taker over to the edge of the stage but Taker knocks him back for the sake of avoiding death. Taker pounds away and slams Van Dam into the set again. The Last Ride is loaded up but Booker runs out to break it up. Booker and Van Dam pound Taker down and they head back inside. Taker fights back but Booker takes him down again. Booker goes up but gets crotched and superplexed. Van Dam comes in out of nowhere and hits the Five Star while Taker is down to retain.

Rating: D. This show is AWFUL. The matches have no thought or effort into them at all and it’s sucking the little life they had left out of the building. Weren’t Booker and Van Dam having issues recently? Well apparently they patched things up off camera because they’re fine now. Nothing to see here and it’s very clear that no one cared at all.

After losing the title to Undertaker in December, Van Dam would challenge William Regal for the Intercontinental Title at Wrestlemania 18.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. William Regal

Regal is defending and this is during his Power of the Punch period. Van Dam kicks him down to start before pounding away at the champion’s head. The fans are all behind RVD here as Regal quickly loads up the brass knuckles. RVD is ready for it though and kicks the knuckles away. A nice jumping kick to the face takes Regal down again but a quick Five Star attempt misses.

The champion takes it to the mat for a bit before a quick suplex gets two. Regal puts on a quick chinlock but Van Dam flips out of it, only to hit knees with Rolling Thunder. A nice butterfly powerbomb gets two for Regal but Rob rolls him up before the Regal Stretch can go on. Van Dam monkey flips Regal down but Regal blocks the stepover kick into a half nelson suplex. Nicely done. Rob rolls to the floor and Regal follows, where he finds the brass knuckles. The referee takes them away back inside, but Regal pulls out a second pair. Not that it matters though as RVD kicks him down and hits the Five Star to win the title.

Rating: B-. Nice opener here with some solid strikes from Van Dam and even nicer counters by Regal. It’s also a good feeling moment for the fans which should put them in a good mood for the rest of the show. That’s what a good opener is supposed to do and it worked fine here. That’s the first of Van Dam’s six IC Titles over his career.

Rob wouldn’t hold the title long and Chris Benoit would eventually get his hands on it, taking it over to Smackdown in the process. Van Dam wanted to bring it back to Raw and got a chance at Summerslam 2002.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit is defending and a Smackdown guy in this brand vs. brand match. Van Dam hits some quick kicks to send Benoit to the outside but Benoit takes him down back inside. Van Dam spins away from a kick in the corner and hits a spinning cross body out of the corner for two. Benoit ducks another kick and hits a great release German suplex to take over. An elbow to the face gets two more for Benoit and it’s time to work on the back.

Benoit gets another near fall off a backbreaker and a snap suplex gets the same. Off to an armbar as Benoit wants the shoulder now. Rob gets some quick twos off rollups but Benoit runs him over with another elbow to the face. Benoit runs into a boot in the corner but the split legged moonsault hits knees. The Swan Dive misses but Benoit rolls away from the Five Star as well.

Now the Crossface goes on for a good while but Van Dam makes the ropes. The challenger goes up but Benoit shoves him off the top and shoulder first into the barricade. Back in and Benoit hits a shoulder breaker (see that people? It’s called psychology. LEARN IT!) for two as the fans are distracted by something. Benoit wisely puts on a rest hold until their attention is back again.

They trade cross arm chokes with Benoit taking over again. Van Dam kicks his leg out but misses Rolling Thunder, allowing Benoit to put on the Crossface again. Rob elbows out but gets rolled up for two. Benoit goes back to the arm and sends him shoulder first into the post. A northern lights suplex onto the arm has Van Dam….looking confused and two more don’t really change that.

Back to the Crossface and Van Dam looks more annoyed than anything else. Rob (with his hair down for maybe the only time I ever remember) makes the rope and puts a Crossface on Benoit for a few seconds. A jumping kick to the face puts Benoit down for two and now Rolling Thunder connects.

Van Dam hits a shoulder to the ribs but injures the shoulder again (thanks for selling Rob). Not that it matters though as he kicks Benoit in the face for two. Rob gets crotched on the top but counters a belly to back superplex into a cross body to put both guys down. Van Dam pops up and hits the Five Star for the pin and the title. Extra points for Rob doing the finger point from the mat when he’s announced as the new champion.

Rating: B. This bad shoulder selling is getting on my nerves. Benoit had RVD in one of the best submissions ever three different times and Van Dam looked like he had a five year old child on his leg. The rest of the match however was very solid with Rob hanging in there with Benoit who was his usual awesome self.

Van Dam would eventually team up with Kane and win the Tag Team Titles. Kane would lose his mask to HHH and turn on Van Dam, setting up a feud. Here’s the blowoff match inside a cage from September 8, 2003 on Raw.

Kane vs. Rob Van Dam

Kane was recently unmasked and therefore turned heel (granted it’s Kane so who knows why he turned) on his tag partner RVD, setting up this cage match. Instead of THIS taking place on PPV though, we got Shane McMahon vs. Kane because Kane electrocuted Shane’s testicles with jumper cables last week. Kane jumps Rob as soon as he gets in and immediately starts pounding away.

Van Dam gets sent into the cage but comes back with a kick and a flip attack out of the corner. Kane rams him right back into the cage again and crushes Van Dam’s head against the cage with a boot. A side slam puts Rob down for no cover so Kane rams him into the cage again. Van Dam tries a comeback but his stepover kick is countered into a powerslam for no cover again.

Kane loads up a powerbomb but Van Dam punches out of it. Not that it matters much though as Kane clotheslines him down and goes back up top. That goes badly for him as well though as Rob crotches him and crushes him against the cage with a cross body. Somewhere along the way Rob got cut over his eye. The jumping kick from the top rope puts Kane down again and Rolling Thunder hits for no cover. Rob tries to leave but has to kick Kane off the ropes.

Since Van Dam isn’t that bright at times, he tries the Five Star but only hits the mat. Kane loads him up in a powerbomb position but drops Van Dam face first into the cage. Van Dam gets thrown into the cage a few times and after pointing at himself, Kane loads him up for a third ram. Rob gets tossed….and the cage breaks, allowing him to fall to the floor for the win. Well that was unexpected.

Actually it’s so unexpected that before I can rate it, Bischoff comes out and says you have to go over the cage and not out of it to win, so we need to keep going. After a break Kane continues to pound away while talking trash. Apparently during the break Kane slammed the cage on Van Dam’s head to put him in this much trouble. Rob tries to climb and Kane just lets him so RVD kicks him in the face. Van Dam tries to climb up but Kane climbs onto the top rope with him and a kind of chokeslam off said top rope is enough for the pin.

Rating: C-. The match was ok but at the end of the day, unless you’re a wrestling encyclopedia, you’re not likely going to have an idea why this match is happening. JR and King mentioned Kane’s rage, but I don’t think they mentioned the two of them even being partners until a few weeks ago. Also the match itself was pretty one sided for the most part and I’m not sure why it was in a cage in the first place.

We’re going to jump ahead again as 2004 was spent doing nothing in the midcard on Smackdown before a knee injury sidelined Van Dam for nearly all of 2005. He would come back to be on the ECW roster when the brand was relaunched in 2006. Rob would also win the Money in the Bank match at Wrestlemania 22, setting up the title match with John Cena at One Night Stand 2006.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Rob Van Dam

After an extended entrance from RVD, it’s time for the moment that this show is remembered for. Cena’s entrance is a sight to behold as you will never, ever see more heat on one guy no matter how long you live. There’s the famous “If Cena Wins We Riot” sign but the thing here is: they really will riot.

The start of the song gets just booing but when he steps through the curtain it’s on. You see nothing but middle fingers as he comes down the aisle and Cena holds the title up like a boxer would and just soaks it in. The big match intros make it even worse. They throw his hat and shirt back, which says a lot actually. Then they do it again. Make it three times. Would you believe four? The thing to remember: there are only 2,500 people here. Watch this match and you would seriously think it was a 15,000 seat arena. It’s that bad.

There’s the bell and Cena is shaken up. There’s the FU already. The chant to Cena, not the move. Toilet paper comes in and this is insane. They lock it up a few times and Cena shoves him into the corner as the fans say you can’t wrestle. This is Extreme Rules which I forgot to mention. Perfectplex gets two. Every single move Cena makes is being booed even louder and it seems to be legit getting to him. Can’t say I blame him but it’s weird to see from Cena.

RVD kicks him to the floor and is nothing less than divine here. They butt heads in the ring and slug it out. Powerslam gets two for the champ and a clothesline sends him to the floor. The fans chant “same old stuff” but in a bit more colorful way. Cena goes up top and drops a forearm from the top and sends Van Dam into the table. Now the fans think he’s overrated. RVD gets a moonsault press off the steps to take over out of nowhere.

Cena reverses an Irish Whip and down goes the cameraman. Out into the crowd which I give Cena legit credit for doing as I’d be scared of being stabbed or something. Cena gets draped over the railing and Van Dam hits that spinning legdrop to take both guys down. Back to the ring now but Rob gets a baseball slide and a slingshot guillotine legdrop for no cover. Skateboard chair shot in the corner gets a close two.

Rolling Thunder lands on the chair but a delay in the cover means only two. Split legged moonsault (take notes Morrison) eats knees (take better notes) and Cena gets a DDT on the chair which no one sells like Van Dam. The fans remind him that he can’t wrestle. I wonder if Vince gave the guys a similar speech when they changed the company name. With a chair wedged between the ropes, Cena gets a slingshot to send RVD’s head into it for a close two.

Cena shows he has a massive set and does You Can’t See Me and the Five Knuckle Shuffle which is about as evil as you can get in ECW. FU is countered and a double leg spin kick takes Cena down. Cena cranks it up but a charge eats boot. The kick off the top is just ducked and Van Dam crashes. Crowd chants YOU STILL SUCK. RVD tries to sit Cena on the top rope (the rope itself, not the corner) but drops him to the floor. Dropkick sends Cena into the railing and it’s table time.

Table is set up in the corner by Van Dam but he turns around into the STFU. There’s a rope after a long crawl but does he really have to break it in an extreme rules match? The referee gets in Cena’s face so Cena drills him with a clothesline and crotches Rob on the top. Superplex but there’s no referee.

Cena brings in the steps and DRILLS Van Dam with them as I guess he’s a heel now as far as this match goes. A Smackdown referee comes in to count two and it’s FU time. RVD grabs the ropes so Cena sends him over the top instead. Out of NOWHERE a guy in a helmet and trenchcoat pops up to spear Cena through the table.

The helmet comes off and it’s Edge. Crowd: THANK YOU EDGE! THANK YOU EDGE! THANK YOU EDGE! This is the guy that tried to kill Tommy Dreamer earlier remember. Van Dam is like ok (Joey: Do it Rob, we’ll take it!”) and the Five Star hits as Heyman comes out to count the pin. This actually counted because Heyman was a WWE big shot or something like that. More or less he was the ECW GM.

Rating: B+. This is more for the crowd than the match for once. No question about it: this is required viewing to show what is meant by having the crowd make a match better than it should be. The people made RVD Cena’s equal and that was a big leap for him at this point. There was no other option for the ending, if nothing else for fear of the WWE guys’ safety. Good match, absolutely amazing visual.

We’re going to jump ahead nearly four years now. Van Dam would lose the title three weeks later due to getting caught with weed and be shunted down the card. He would stay on the ECW roster but lose the ECW Title on the 4th of July due to Heyman turning heel and screwing him out of the title.

After feuding with Heyman and then the New Breed for a few months, Van Dam would have a final feud with Randy Orton, culminating in Orton putting him out so Van Dam could tend to his very sick wife. Van Dam would tour Europe for a few years but we’ll skip over those as this is already going to be over twenty matches long. Rob would show up in TNA as a surprise in early 2010 and win the World Title in a surprise on April 29, 2010. Former champion AJ Styles would get a rematch at Sacrifice.

TNA World Title: Rob Van Dam vs. AJ Styles

LOT of time for this. The show has just been lackluster so far so this could help it a lot. Apparently Larry Zbyszko has been training these two as we stall A LOT. Three minutes in and no actual contact yet. We have a headlock! We get an AJ sucks chant to FINALLY get him some heel heat. And now MORE talking and waiting around. Is wrestling illegal in TNA?

Finally we get some extended contact and it lasts all of 30 seconds. Flair gets thrown out and we make it about anything other than the match and wrestling for a few more minutes. The bell rang like 7 minutes ago and they MIGHT have had a minute of contact. Flair does commentary. AJ hits a nice over the top swanton dive. Nice one indeed. I think the issue here is no one believes AJ is going to win.

In a painful looking spot, RVD jumps to the top with his back to the ring and gets shoved off the ropes where he slams head first into the ramp. Flair implies sexual relations with Dixie. Not a bad idea if I do say so myself. Flair is talking about AJ the most which is what he’s supposed to do. Nicely done.

Flair talks about what it’s like in the mindset of being the world champion and says if he was somewhere and an NBA All-Star was there it didn’t matter because he was Ric Flair. True story: when the NBA was locked out back in like 98, my Dad and cousin were in Atlantic City where some NBA guys were having an exhibition there. My cousin saw Flair there.

Said he couldn’t have looked better and couldn’t have been nicer. I got an autograph out of it. Also said he was built like a tank. That’s not something that comes off well on TV but apparently he looks incredible in person. To be fair though, he’s usually next to some of the best conditioned people on the planet so he kind of blends in. This is your standard back and forth main event match and it’s working pretty well.

Can’t ask for much more than a back and forth world title match between two guys of this caliber. AJ busts out a torture rack of all things. Given Flair’s wars with Luger, that’s rather amusing. Also it should be noted that he used it after countering Rolling Thunder with a knee to the back. THAT is thinking in a match. Flair gets fed up when AJ keeps messing up and goes to the ring but here’s Jay Lethal for the stop.

We keep the camera on them for a minute or so as Lethal puts the Figure Four on Flair. There’s a minute and a half I’ll never get back. Tenay thinks we should focus on what’s in the ring. What a concept! AJ has a suplerplex reversed and takes the Five Star for RVD to retain.

Rating: B-. Not bad, but nothing great. It’s certainly decent and probably the best match of the night. This just lacked any sort of drama though and it didn’t work well at all to me. It was solid though and AJ performed well. Van Dam as champion is fine I guess, but I’m at a loss as to who he fights now. I mean seriously, WHO is there? Angle?

One of Van Dam’s first challengers was Abyss, who injured him on Impact with the spiked board called Janice. This caused Rob to be stripped of the title, setting up a Monster’s Ball rematch at Bound For Glory 2010.

We recap RVD vs. Abyss which is a bit early on the card I’d think for it. I can’t imagine this is where THEY are revealed. That’s just way too early for it I’d think but who knows? The idea here is RVD isn’t at 100% but he wants revenge no matter what.

Rob Van Dam vs. Abyss

Monster’s Ball here which means anything goes. And remember this is his last match EVER! He brings Janice and Bob, which are the names of Dixie Carter’s parents in what I’d assume is a rib, and puts them on the announce table. Abyss says RVD is done and THEY are coming. And remember this is once a century. You know, like EVERY OTHER DATE.

RVD of course kicks the heck out of him to start to a HUGE RVD chant. Van Dam is in a t-shirt here for some reason. There’s a barbed wire table at ringside. Total dominance so far by Van Dam who is on fire. He gets taken down by an elbow of all things. Given the shirt I’d bet on RVD going into barbed wire.

Chokeslam is countered and of course Abyss eats barbed wire. This would be more effective if we hadn’t seen it just three days ago with bigger stars. And of course he’s up again just a few seconds later, dodging a splash that send RVD into the wire. Abyss busts out a regular table as we talk about THEY.

Trash can to the head of Van Dam as Abyss tries to make a barbed wire platform between the railing and the ring. Oh never mind it’s just a regular table. Abyss winds up on it and RVD hits Rolling Thunder onto it. Cool spot. Too many dead spots here though as we hit a spot and then stop to look for more stuff to use in the next one.

RVD sets up Coast to Coast but gets shoved off and RVD winds up in barbed wire. Sick looking bump. The match more or less stops as the referee is thinking about stopping it. Instead we throw him back into the ring and Abyss gets…nothing. Ok then. Instead we get the Hogan ear taunt.

Van Dam comes back and sends him into the barbed wire board in the corner. Now it’s Abyss in trouble. RVD goes for the Five Star but Abyss moves and RVD has a tummy ache. And now It’s time for Janice. Well of course it is. RVD counters though and gets a pair of shots with Janice to the gut of Abyss and the Five Star. Abyss is bleeding from the mouth.

Rating: B-. Fun hardcore match with everyone beating the tar out of each other. Ok so maybe saying everyone for two people is a stretch but you get the concept. This worked fine for what it was with lots of weapons being used and all that jazz. They’re dragging this angle out for all it’s worth and more though so points for that….I think. Fun match.

Van Dam would spend the next few months feuding with Immortal before chasing the World Title for a bit. He entered the Bound For Glory Series and took the lead until Jerry Lynn cost him a match. This led to the two facing each other in a Full Metal Mayhem match at BFG 2011.

Jerry Lynn vs. Rob Van Dam

Technical stuff to start but they’ve probably got a lot of time. There are only 8 minutes on this card and I can’t imagine that Hogan vs. Sting will break ten minutes. Rob takes over early and tries Rolling Thunder but Lynn pops up with a kick to the face. Tornado DDT is countered but the suplex is as well. The psychology here is solid and we hit a stalemate. They try a cross body over the top and that doesn’t work right, drawing half boos/half silence from the crowd.

We’re on the floor now and Van Dam tries a moonsault off the apron but misses and might have hurt his knee. Lynn brings in a ladder but Rob sends him in and gets a chair. He takes too long though and Jerry hits a baseball slide to send it into the face of Van Dam. Van Dam gets a spinning cross body onto Lynn onto the chair for two. The surfboard dropkick with the chair in the corner gets no cover. Rob does however get a ladder so the crowd is pleased.

The fans chant ECW and the ladder is splashed with Lynn under it for two. The fans never stay silent for long in this city. It’s something I wish you could hear in more cities too. Rob does a springboard moonsault over Lynn which appeared to be intentional. No idea what the point of that was other than to have Lynn hit him with the chair to take over. Lynn misses a senton backsplash onto the ladder and Van Dam takes over again.

Van Daminator misses so Lynn pelts the chair at him. Lynn gets a German for tow and Lynn is down more from it than Rob is. Lynn gets suplexed onto a ladder which is a lot more effective, so I guess American > Germany. Lionsault onto the ladder gets two for Rob. Rob tries one of his rolling moves but Jerry jumps off the middle rope and they collide at the same time. Lynn goes to the floor to get another ladder and I have the same question as Tazz: how many ladders do you need?

The second ladder is put up against the railing and Lynn tries a sunset bomb, resulting in Rob’s head slamming into the railing. FREAKING OW MAN!!! Lynn has a big bump under his eye. Van Daminator gets two. Rob sets up the Van Terminator with a ladder over Lynn’s face and it’s enough for the pin at 13:16. So Lynn can get up from a Van Daminator after two seconds but he can’t move after about 30 seconds of sitting in the corner?

Rating: B. Good match but it’s going to be overrated because it’s Lynn vs. Van Dam. This was more about the weapons and the violence than the whole psychology which was the standard of their old matches. The fans were of course into it because these guys used to be huge in ECW like 10 years ago. It was entertaining though and that’s the point of these matches.

The next year was even more uneventful for RVD as he didn’t do much of note, save for a shot at the World Title Sacrifice. With less than a week before the biggest show of the year, Van Dam didn’t have a match. He was allowed to pick his opponent and decided to challenge for the X-Division Title at Bound For Glory 2012.

X-Division Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Zema Ion

Ion is defending. Rob came out on Impact when Ion was running his mouth and Van Dam said Hogan said he could have any match he wanted at this show. Zema has been injuring a lot of people lately. Rob takes over to start and knocks Ion to the floor but Ion moves before Rob can dive. Back in and Ion takes out Rob’s leg followed by a corkscrew kick out of the corner for two.

The champ goes up again and gets crotched, followed by a kick to take him down again. Out of nowhere Ion hits a jumping tornado DDT for two and then two more. Rob goes up but gets shoved into the barricade like he’s had done to him a few dozen times over the years. Ion hits a flip dive to keep Van Dam down while also barely avoiding breaking a rib on the barricade.

Back in and a missile dropkick gets two for Ion. As usual with Ion, his in ring stuff isn’t bad but the promos and persona getting there don’t do him much good. Off to an abdominal stretch which is pretty quickly broken. Van Dam makes a very fast comeback, takes Ion down, hits Rolling Thunder and the Five Star and wins the title at 8:00.

Rating: C. I can’t complain about Van Dam winning the title at all as this gives the title some credibility that it hasn’t had in a new champion in awhile. Also this gives the fans something to pop for early on which is the right idea. The match itself was nothing you wouldn’t see on Impact, but the right ending helps.

The title reign wouldn’t be bad but didn’t really do much as he didn’t get to defend the belt all that often. Rob would come back to WWE over the summer of 2013 and be used as the veteran who could still make people look good. Here’s an attempt at that against World Heavyweight Champion Alberto Del Rio at Night of Champions 2013.

World Heavyweight Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Alberto Del Rio

Alberto is defending, Rob is the hometown boy (close enough) and Ricardo is here after being banned from ringside on Smackdown. Del Rio quickly takes him down but Rob comes right back with a kick to the face. A loud spinwheel kick in the corner has the champion staggered and a monkey flip gets two. Del Rio hits a dropkick of all things but misses a charge and falls to the floor. A slingshot moonsault puts Alberto down and Rob drapes him across the barricade for the spin kick to the back.

Del Rio blocks a suplex back in and brings Rob to the apron before knocking him out to the floor. The champion’s suicide dive takes Van Dam down and Del Rio sends him into the barricade. We hit the chinlock before Rob rolls him up for two. A snap suplex puts Rob right back down and Del Rio does the finger point. Del Rio kicks him in the back of the head for two and it’s back to the chinlock. An enziguri sends Del Rio to the floor but Alberto misses a dive and crashes on the outside.

Back in and a kick to the face gets two for Rob and the middle rope thrust kick gets the same. A top rope kick to the face sets up Rolling Thunder but Alberto rolls away and hits the Backstabber for two. Rob breaks up the reverse superplex and the cannonball off the top gets two. They slug it out with Del Rio getting two off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Rob kicks his way out of the armbreaker and gets two off a rollup.

The split legged moonsault gets the same but Alberto comes back with a Codebreaker on the arm. Del Rio’s low superkick gets two but Rob kicks him off the ropes. The Five Star hits knees and there’s the armbreaker but Rob gets to a rope….and Del Rio holds on through the five count for the DQ at 14:28.

Rating: C+. The match was fine but the ending crippled anything it could have been. Alberto just isn’t interesting as a champion whatsoever but he’s been in every PPV Smackdown Title match this year. I don’t know who we’re waiting on to take the title from him but this wasn’t the right ending for this match.

Rob Van Dam is a guy who has been around for a long time and has stayed solid for almost his entire career. I find his ECW stuff overrated but now that he’s toned down the high flying a bit he’s far easier to watch. The fact that he’s been around going on 25 years makes him all the more impressive. He stays in good shape too and takes breaks when he needs to, making it easier to cheer for him when he comes back. The guy is talented and probably the best ECW guy of all time, assuming you don’t consider Foley and Austin to be on that list.

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Smackdown
Date: May 2, 2014
Location: Sprint Center, Kansas City, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re two days away from Extreme Rules and everything is set up. WWE has been doing a good job of getting things ready for the show and making me care about the matches, which is something they should have been doing for years when the shows weren’t ten bucks a month but that’s a different story. Anyway, the main event tonight is Ambrose defending in a 3-1 handicap match against Del Rio, Ryback and Axel so let’s get to it.

 

The opening video talks shows HHH taking credit for Shield’s rise to the top but maybe he gave them a bit too much power. This transitions into a clip of their brawl that ended the show with Shield standing tall. The match on Sunday should rock.

The handicap match is now a fourway.

Sheamus/Usos vs. Wyatt Family

This has potential. Sheamus is here after losing to Bray on Main Event thanks to the Family. The Usos made the save so here’s a six man to continue the story. Jey starts with Harper and gets two off a quick shoulder before it’s off to Sheamus for power vs. power. They slug it out with Sheamus taking over until it’s off to Rowan who rams Sheamus into the corner. Back to Luke for another slugout with Sheamus taking over via the rolling fireman’s carry. A knee drop gets two on Harper but Harper comes back with a hard shot to the jaw.

Rowan comes in but misses a charge, allowing Sheamus to nail a knee lift. A cross body of all things puts Rowan and Sheamus on the floor and a staredown takes us to a break. Back with Bray getting the tag to work over Sheamus in the corner. Wyatt runs Sheamus over and crawls along the mat in the eerie way that only he can. Back to Erick for a knee drop followed by a good looking superkick from Luke for two.

Harper knocks an Uso off the apron but walks into the Irish Curse to put both big guys down. A hot tag brings in Jimmy to speed things up and Harper takes a Samoan drop. Jimmy nails an enziguri to Harper and some shots to the face put Rowan and Wyatt on the floor. The Whisper in the Wind misses though and Harper nails a Michinoku Driver for two. Everything breaks down and Sheamus lays out Rowan with the Brogue Kick. In all the confusion, Bray makes a blind tag and plants Jimmy with Sister Abigail for the pin at 7:44 shown of 11:14.

Rating: C. Nothing wrong with this as the Family gets a win and the Usos are pinned in a six man rather than the usual tag match. I’d assume this sets up Harper/Rowan vs. Usos, potentially at Extreme Rules, which would be an acceptable title match given how weak the division is for the most part anymore. Nice opener here.

Post match the Usos dive on the Family but Bray lays them out. Sheamus tries to fight all three monsters but the numbers catch up with him. The Irishman is thrown into the steps and taken down by Luke’s discus lariat.

Adam Rose is coming on Monday. “Next stop, Monday Night Raw! Come along! I HAVE BUNNIES!”

It’s time for the contract signing for Torito vs. Hornswoggle with Vickie running things. 3MB and Los Matadores are here as well and Slater says Horny has some demands. First off, he wants 300 mini green M&Ms and 3MB’s greatest hits playing for his training sessions plus 10 copies of Rudy on Blu-Ray. Torito interrupts him and yells in Spanish with Diego translating: “If you mess with the bull, you get the horns.” Vickie says she wants to keep this night and short and cackles at her joke. Horny signs but Torito doesn’t have hands.

Instead they put ink on his hoof and slam it down onto the contract. Horny says he’ll prove he’s the bigger man and moves his chair up a bit. Torito cranks his even higher so Hornswoggle gets a booster seat. They both get on the table and shove each other before a pose off begins. The brawl is finally on and Horny gets gored down onto Mahal. Los Matadores clear the ring and Torito uses the table as a launch pad to dive onto the Band. Yeah this went long, but at least they’re playing it as totally goofy which helps a ton.

Jack Swagger vs. Rob Van Dam

The triple threat on Sunday is now an elimination match. Before the match Cesaro comes out with his new music that sounds like the start of Attitude Era Raw. Swagger uses the distraction to go after Van Dam as Heyman jumps in on commentary. An early Vader Bomb gets two for Jack and a belly to belly gets the same. Van Dam is sent to the floor and gets kicked in the face by Swagger but Cesaro grabs Jack’s foot, allowing Rob to hit a quick kick and the Five Star for the pin at 1:52.

Post match Cesaro Neutralizes Van Dam.

Bolieve!

Alexander Rusev vs. R-Truth

Lana has her hair down for a change as she rants about America invoking sanctions against Mother Russia. Rusev takes Truth into the corner and fires off a series of kicks to the ribs before getting caught with a side kick to the face. Rusev falls to the floor but is able to punch Woods out. Truth dives over the top but gets caught in the air and thrown back inside. Woods comes in for the DQ at 1:04. This was the second time the match took place for what was likely a reshoot.

Truth and Woods clear out Rusev a few times post match.

Here’s Daniel Bryan in the neck brace with something to say. Thankfully he’s brought the titles with him this week. Daniel says he’s the same as all the fans right here in Kansas City. They come together and overcome obstacles every day. They also take care of their families and that’s everyone’s number one priority. This Sunday, with a lot of faith, determination and heart, he’s going to walk into the Extreme Rules as champion and he’s going to walk out as Champion.

Kane put him in this neck brace and put him in pain but none of that matters because Kane put his hands on Daniel’s wife. This is more than personal now because it’s a war. On Sunday Bryan will send Kane home by any means necessary and if that means Bryan goes out with him then so be it.

Kane comes on screen in the mask and says Daniel is making that sounds like a bad thing. When he and Bryan arrive in the devil’s home together, he’ll give Bryan a tour. We get a preview of it in the form of a Kane highlight video, showing him injuring Bryan over the last few weeks. Kane promises to show Daniel the depths of his depravity and gives an evil laugh.

Bolieve!

Dolph Ziggler vs. Damien Sandow

Damien is still dressed like Magneto. Cole asks JBL to tell us about Magneto and we get a somewhat in depth character biography. Sandow even has the helmet (hood) on as Ziggler takes him down with an armdrag. A Stinger Splash in the corner sets up a neckbreaker on Sandow followed by an elbow drop for two. Damien comes back with a flipping neckbreaker for two and an armbar that Cole calls the Magnet. The Wind-Up elbow connects but Ziggler hammers away. We stop for Magneto to use powers but since there’s no metal on Ziggler, he nails a dropkick and Zig Zag for the pin at 3:23.

Rating: D+. Sandow was destined to become a comedy character so I can live with this for the most part. Thankfully Dolph didn’t sell the magnetic powers stuff, putting him one step ahead of anyone who ever solid Little Jimmy. It’s almost hard to believe that Sandow was Mr. Money in the Bank less than a year ago.

Video on Paige vs. Tamina.

Big E. vs. Titus O’Neal

Non-title. Big E. muscles him to the mat before leapfrogging over Titus. He runs O’Neal over with ease and kicks him to the floor with one foot. Titus LAUNCHES Big E. over the announce table and then throws him on top of it for good measure. Back in and Titus hammers away in the corner before putting Big E. over his shoulder for a kneeling backbreaker. O’Neal chokes away and that’s a DQ at 2:16. Great way to make me believe in Big E. going into Sunday.

Post match Big E. destroys Titus and whips him into the announce table a few times. He stands over Titus in the ring which I think is supposed to make us think he’s ready for Sunday.

Video on Wyatt vs. Cena, including clips of the Wrestlemania match and the segment on Monday.

A record is playing the children singing on Monday and Bray calls it beautiful music. Those children pulls Cena’s soul out of his body and handed it over to Bray. He believes that the children are the future and they trust him more than Cena. When Bray climbs out of the cage on Sunday, he’s taking the children with him. That’s going to leave him an old bitter man all alone. Follow the buzzards.

US Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. Ryback vs. Curtis Axel

One fall to a finish with Dean defending and Shield banned from ringside. The challengers all go after Dean to start but he jumps on Axel with no reservations. A 3-1 beatdown puts Dean on the mat with ease though and Curtis asks where Dean’s buddies are. Dean’s comeback is easily stopped and he’s thrown to the floor, allowing Axel to grab a rollup on Alberto for two. Ryback and Axel get in an argument and Dean comes back in to hammer on Axel. Ambrose is thrown back to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Ryback and Axel hammering on Alberto in the corner. Del Rio’s Backstabber gets two on Ryback but Axel makes a quick save. The fans are behind Ambrose as he saves a cover by Axel on Del Rio. Ryback and Dean go to the floor so Axel can dropkick Alberto down for two. A bad looking tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two on Curtis but Dean is back in to break it up and go after Ryback. Ambrose hammers on Del Rio and BLASTS Ryback in the face before low bridging him out to the floor.

The running dropkick puts Alberto down but Axel gets in a cheap shot to take the champion down. A Perfectplex is countered and Dean comes back with a hard clothesline for two of his own. Ambrose is sent to the floor and the Perfectplex gets two on Del Rio. Del Rio ties Axel up in the ropes for a top rope double stomp for a VERY close two and Ryback takes Curtis down with the Meat Hook by mistake. The armbreaker goes onto Ryback but he lifts Alberto into the air for the Shell Shock. Axel saves that pin but Dean slides in for a cradle on Curtis for the retaining pin at 10:04 shown of 13:34.

Rating: B. Take four guys and let them go for a lot of fast pins for a good while. This is one of the formulas that is hard to screw up and it worked well here too. Making it a fourway was a good call as it’s really hard to buy that Ambrose could win in a handicap match here. I can’t imagine he keeps the belt much longer though as he’s already got the WWE record with the thing.

It’s a triple team post match but Reigns and Rollins come in for the save and stand tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. There were some issues in there but this was a good Smackdown for the most part. We got focus on everything with Evolution vs. Shield getting the least focus, which is the right idea after it was the top story on Monday. Bryan vs. Kane is looking better and better every week and some of the false finishes could be very good. Solid show this week and Extreme Rules is looking solid.

Results
Wyatt Family b. Usos/Sheamus – Sister Abigail to Jimmy Uso
Rob Van Dam b. Jack Swagger – Five Star Frog Splash
Alexander Rusev b. R-Truth via DQ when Xavier Woods interfered
Dolph Ziggler b. Damien Sandow – Zig Zag
Big E. b. Titus O’Neal via DQ when Titus wouldn’t stop choking
Dean Ambrose b. Alberto Del Rio, Curtis Axel and Ryback – Cradle to Axel

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: April 28, 2014
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for Extreme Rules and we’ve got most of the card set. The main stories are of course Daniel Bryan vs. Kane and Evolution vs. Shield with the latter being the bigger match of the two. Things are still solid after Wrestlemania but it feels like something is missing as we head into the follow up. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Wyatts vs. Cena last week and Bray cradling Cena’s head to end the show in a disturbing scene.

There’s a cage around the ring in the arena and here’s John Cena to a good reaction. Cena had a disturbed look on his face and wants to know why the fans put him in a 3-1 handicap match last week. He seems hurt by the idea because the fans gave him no chance last week. John believes the statement that you either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain. Ten years ago in this building, John Cena was drafted to Raw (it was nine years ago) and the fans cheered for him.

Now it’s ten years later and the fans aren’t cheering him as much because they’ve moved on to Bray Wyatt. Cena knows that he can’t do this forever and he has to step aside at one point. He loves that idea though because he sees a bunch of people in the locker room ready to take his spot like Reigns, Rollins, Cesaro and Bryan. Cena even knows names like Adrian Neville and Sami Zayn from NXT because they have the same passion that he has to entertain the people.

Bray Wyatt doesn’t have that passion because Wyatt’s passion is Bray Wyatt. On Sunday, the Wyatt Family will be kept out and Bray’s message will be kept in. If Wyatt escapes, his message and corruption will continue to manipulate and the world won’t have a chance. The Wyatts hack the feed but we only hear what sounds like a group of children singing He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands.

The lights come back up and there’s a whole choir of children on the stage in black robes singing the song. Bray and the Family come out with the lantern to sing as well and the children follow him to the ring. Bray gets them to sing about having the whole Cenation and the Big Bad Monster in his hands as well.

The lights go out save for the lantern and when they come back on, all of the kids are wearing the sheep masks. Cena has no idea what to do. One of the kids is sitting on Bray’s lap as he laughs like a demonic villain. A closeup of the kid’s mask takes us to a break. This was one of the most bizarre and disturbing things I can ever remember watching.

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

Usos are defending and the challengers now have team music. We even get Big Match Intros before it’s Axel vs. Jey to start. Cole suggests that the Usos are in trouble here, despite being on fire for months and beating this team before. A quick cross body puts Axel down and it’s off to Ryback who misses a splash, allowing for the tag off to Jimmy. The challengers are sent to the floor and there are the double dives to put them down. Jey is holding his ankle though as we head to a break.

Back with Axel cranking on Jimmy’s arm as the trainer is checking on Jey’s ankle. A running knee to the head puts Jimmy down and it’s off to Ryback for a series of covers and two each. Jey is able to knock Ryback down and suplexes Axel down onto him, allowing for the tag to a taped up Jey. The injury doesn’t seem to matters as Jey comes in with a cross body for two on Axel and a superkick to Ryback. There’s a Samoan drop and the running Umaga attack for two but a blind tag brings in Ryback.

A spinebuster gets two on Jey and Ryback pounds on his own chest. The Meat Hook is blocked by another superkick and Jey fires off some chops, only to be taken down by a regular clothesline. Shell Shock is countered into a sunset flip for two but Ryback takes him down again. The Usos make their own blind tag though, so as Axel hits the PerfectPlex, Jimmy dives in with the Superfly Splash for the pin on Curtis at 11:16.

Rating: C-. So what was the point of the injury? It didn’t change a thing about the match and Jey barely sold the thing at all, so why bother having it except for some drama that was broken up about three minutes later? The division is very thin at this point and we have a bunch of talent with nothing to do. Why this isn’t a layup for WWE’s creative team…..really doesn’t surprise me.

Adam Rose debuts next week.

Heyman tells Cesaro to not listen to RVD about Heyman’s morals or business practices. This of course turns into a discussion about Undertaker’s Streak being broken when he messed with Heyman. Paul admits that he’s a ruthless liar and completely unethical but he takes his clients to the top. That’s all Cesaro needs to hear.

We recap Kane attacking Bryan last week. Stephanie will apologize later tonight.

Kane’s mask is in its case.

Sheamus vs. Titus O’Neal

Titus jumps Sheamus during his entrance and sends him into the barricade a few times. Sheamus tastes the post as well before being sent into the ring for some right hands to the face. He says he’s ready to go though and we have a bell. Titus is on him again and hammers in the corner as Sheamus still has his shirt on….but he hits the Brogue Kick anyway for the pin at 35 seconds. And the annoying booking of Sheamus continues.

You should Bolieve.

Dolph Ziggler is in the ring in street clothes to talk about how this is his favorite time of the year. The weather is nicer, the girls look a little bit better, and the superheroes return to the ring. He’s talking about explosions, things being thrown all over the place and total chaos. But enough about his place on a Saturday night. Here’s a clip from the new X-Men movie. Ziggler brings out X-Men star Hugh Jackman who plays to the crowd quite well.

Jackman talks about how much he loves Raw because anything can happen. Ziggler says that’s true and shows us a clip of Hugh knocking Ziggler out so Zack Ryder could get a pin. Dolph says Jack Swagger has hit him harder than that and they bury the hatchet. This brings out Damien Sandow in a Magneto costume to brag about how a supervillain is now played by someone with intelligence.

They trade some insults and Sandow says tonight the two of them will meet their fate. Jackman touches the cape as Ziggler looks like he’s about to lose it. Sandow displays his “power” by trying to pull the microphone out of Jackman’s hands but gets hiptossed and Zig Zagged instead. I’m not sure what to say about this one.

We look at Evolution reforming and Shield destroying a bunch of people on Smackdown.

Cesaro vs. Jack Swagger

Before the match, Heyman has a joke for us. Knock Knock. Who’s there? Mike. Mike who? Mike lient Brock Lesnar conquered the Undertaker’s Streak at Wrestlemania. Heyman promises to never mention the Streak again before bragging about Cesaro winning the battle royal.

Swagger tries an early suplex but gets countered into rolling gutwrench suplexes. They head outside with Cesaro being sent into the barricade for two before Swagger cranks on a double chicken wing. Swagger loads up the Vader Bomb but Heyman goes after Zeb’s mustache for a distraction, allowing Cesaro to hook a German suplex for the pin at 3:17.

Rating: D+. This feud isn’t doing much for me but it’s cool to see Cesaro throw people around like they’re children. Heyman going after the mustache was a great touch and the match was more entertaining than it should have been. I don’t care much for Swagger though and he drags things down when he’s on screen.

We look at the opening segment again.

Cena has nothing to say about what happened earlier.

The mask is still in the case.

Cody Rhodes vs. Alberto Del Rio

Del Rio quickly takes him down for two but Cody comes back with a clothesline and slam for two of his own. Not that it matters as Alberto hits him in the head again and gets another near fall off a belly to back suplex. Cody hits a dropkick but walks into the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to set up a chinlock. Back up and the springboard dropkick is countered with a punch to the ribs, setting up the armbreaker from Del Rio for the submission at 3:20.

Rating: D+. I’m guessing this is for angle advancement as it was basically a Del Rio squash. My goodness I can’t remember the last time I actually got to type that. The match was nothing special and I wish it had been Goldust doing the job instead of someone like Cody who might have a lengthy future.

Cody walks away from Goldust again post match.

Heyman and Cesaro have a meeting in the back.

Alexander Rusev vs. Xavier Woods

Squash for about 40 seconds until R-Truth runs in for the DQ. The team knocks Rusev to the floor and stands tall before their handicap match on Sunday.

We see John Cena granting three Make-A-Wishes this morning.

RVD is ready to beat Bad News Barrett tonight. Zeb Colter comes in and suggests an alliance against their common enemy in Paul Heyman but RVD declines.

Los Matadores vs. 3MB

McIntyre and Slater here. The pre show match on Sunday is a, I kid you not, Wee L C match involving all of these guys plus the small ones. McIntyre sends Diego into the corner to start before it’s off to Slater. Heath doesn’t do all that well and it’s quickly off to Fernando who cleans house. The announcers of course spend the match making short jokes as Torito Gores Mahal’s groin into Hornswoggle’s head. Back in the ring and Slater hits an elevated DDT on Fernando for the pin at 2:19. JBL: “OH MY GOD 3MB WON! BARRY HOROWITZ IS ROLLING OVER IN HIS GRAVE AND HE’S NOT EVEN DEAD!”

Post match Hornswoggle misses a dive and crashes on the floor. Torito dives on 3MB.

Here’s Stephanie for the apology to Bryan. She calls out the champ and gets both him in a neck brace (minus belts) and Brie Bella who leads the YES chants. Daniel says he almost believed Stephanie when she was telling Kane to stop last week but she’s full of lies. Stephanie says she deserves that and the truth is she and HHH never wanted Bryan to be WWE Champion. Emotions ran high and got out of control.

Bryan says Stephanie’s emotions ran high, so how do you think his wife felt when the Authority was trying to take him out and had to let him do it on his own. Stephanie apologizes again and says she knows what it’s like for your husband to be in an ambulance. She’s sorry on behalf of the entire family for unleashing the demon and for everything else she’s done. Daniel still doesn’t buy it so she asks him to come down to the ring to convince him face to face.

Bryan says he’s going to see a liar if he gets in the ring and that Kane will be here at the snap of a finger. His head hurts and he can’t move his neck, but he’s never given up in his life. He’s been cleared for Sunday and if Kane takes him down, Bryan is taking Kane with him. Stephanie says she can give them something to make up for what happened last week. She offers Brie a Divas Title match tonight but Bryan says he’ll be there with her. The match is right now.

Divas Title: Paige vs. Brie Bella

Paige is defending. Before the match we cut to the back and see that the mask is gone. They trade some holds to start with Brie taking over with a flying mare and dropkick for two. Paige screams a lot and slams Brie into the mat before getting two off a northern lights suplex. Brie comes back with a kick to the face and a hard running knee. She goes up top but gets punched in the gut, setting up a nice superplex to put both girls down. Not that it matters as we’ve got Kane.

Daniel is waiting for him in the aisle but Kane comes up through the ring and tries to pull Brie down. Bryan tries to make a save but the neck injury slows him down. Kane stalks Brie as Bryan is down on the floor. He drags her to the hole but Bryan comes in with I think a wrench to knock Kane silly. Of course he sits up as Bryan tells Brie to get out. A chokeslam leaves Bryan laying. She gets back in like an imbecile and has to scramble away from Kane as he tries to drag her into the hole. Bryan is helped to the back by medics. The match went to a no contest at about 2:20.

Back from a break and a doctor is checking on Bryan when Stephanie comes in again to apologize. Bryan says he’ll be at Extreme Rules and will make her regret dragging Brie into this. Brie yells at Stephanie and calls her something you don’t say to your boss.

We look at the opening segment again.

Cena says the choir freaked him out but he knows the crowd hasn’t turned their backs on him. The crowd was still reacting to him and that gives him hope. Cena is ready for Sunday and will buy Bray a singing mule. The singing ends on Sunday.

Bad News Barrett is on his podium and has some BAD NEWS for RVD. The slogan for the company is Then, Now and Forever. RVD should only be Then, because he’s only living on the past.

Intercontinental Title #1 Contenders Tournament Finals: Rob Van Dam vs. Bad News Barrett

Winner gets Big E. for the title on Sunday. Feeling out process to start with Rob taking him down to the mat with a headlock. Barrett misses a charge and falls to the floor, setting up a moonsault from the apron to take down Bad News. Back in and Barrett sends Rob out to the floor almost immediately before doing the thumb pointing. They head inside again with Rob getting two off a rollup but getting thrown into a kick to the ribs in the corner.

Back from a break with Barrett holding a chinlock. Winds of Change get two and a neckbreaker gets the same for Barrett. We hit the chinlock again for a bit before Rob fights up and nails a superkick. Some clotheslines and the step over kick look to set up Rolling Thunder but here’s Cesaro for a distraction. Swagger intercepts Cesaro but Rob has to duck the Bull Hammer. Rolling Thunder connects but Cesaro distracts him from the Five Star, allowing Barrett to get his knees up. Bull Hammer sends Barrett to Extreme Rules at 11:22.

Rating: C-. The match was dull at times but this should set up Cesaro vs. Van Dam to flesh out Sunday’s card a little bit. Barrett is much more interesting in this character and has looked great since Wrestlemania. I can’t imagine Big E. holds the title and that’s the right idea at this point.

Post match Cesaro goes after Van Dam but Swagger lays him out with a gutwrench powerbomb. Van Dam beats up Swagger though and hits the Five Star on Swagger.

We look at Shield destroying people on Smackdown again.

Shield says they’ve passed Evolution by. Rollins holds up his fist and says it’s the new symbol of excellence (the name given to the four fingers of the Horsemen). Reigns says Evolution looks more like the past.

Ambrose has to defend the US Title against Alberto Del Rio, Ryback and Curtis Axel in a handicap match on Smackdown.

Randy Orton vs. Roman Reigns

Orton has Batista and HHH with him and comes out to the Evolution theme. Before the match, HHH says Shield is starting to remind him of Evolution. There’s a problem with that though: Evolution is still here and they’ll never be that good. Shield hits the ring….and here’s Ric Flair.

Ric looks bombed and asks if this is St. Louis, Missouri. He’s had a lot of fun in this town but says it’s great to be back in a ring with people who know what this business is all about: dominance. Flair talks about everything coming full circle, including greatness. Tonight he’s surrounded by superstars who exemplify power, style and greatness. By that he means the Shield and shakes all three of their hands. With that he leaves and Evolution is shocked.

We actually get a bell at 11:05 and Reigns hammers away but gets caught by a headbutt and right hands. They head outside and fight over a suplex with Reigns getting the better of it. Orton reverses a whip to send Reigns into the steps before taking it back inside for a chinlock. A hard clothesline puts Reigns on the floor but he fights out of the Elevated DDT.

The running clothesline and a right hand have Orton reeling and Reigns heads to the floor for the apron dropkick. Back in and HHH breaks up the Superman Punch as the brawl is on. The fans are WAY into this as Ambrose is thrown across the anounce table. Back inside and the Superman Punch connects but Reigns goes to the floor to get in on the fight for the DQ at 4:50.

Rating: C. This was a good moment for Reigns as he looked like he was capable of hanging with the guy that was World Champion coming into the main event of Wrestlemania less than a month ago. The match on Sunday is going to be NUTS and it should main event the PPV. I’d love to see a full match between these guys and it’s good to see Reigns getting some solo time.

Post match Evolution destroys Shield with spinebusters and slams. HHH loads up a Pedigree on Ambrose but Rollins makes the save with a springboard knee to the face. HHH is left alone and Reigns lays him out with the spear. Orton and Batista try to break up the Triple Bomb with chairs but get kicked in the face, allowing Shield to stand tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a rollercoaster of a show but the problem was it all had to follow that opening segment. There was just no way they could trump that all night long and it never did. I’m fired up for Sunday and the top three matches all look great on paper. The builds have worked perfectly and I’m looking forward to Sunday. More importantly, things seemed a lot more organic instead of scripted this week and that’s a VERY positive sign for the future.

Results
Usos b. Ryback/Curtis Axel – Superfly Splash to Axel
Sheamus b. Titus O’Neal – Brogue Kick
Cesaro b. Jack Swagger – German suplex
Alberto Del Rio b. Cody Rhodes – Cross armbreaker
Alexander Rusev b. Xavier Woods via DQ when R-Truth interfered
3MB b. Los Matadores – Elevated DDT to Fernando
Paige vs. Brie Bella went to a no contest when Kane interfered
Bad News Barrett b. Rob Van Dam – Bull Hammer
Roman Reigns vs. Randy Orton went to a no contest when Evolution interfered

 

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Today is another instance of there’s no one interesting today so here’s one of my favorites: 2 Cold Scorpio.

Scorpio got his start in Japan in the late 80s but got his first American exposure in WCW, debuting at Clash of the Champions 21 as a mystery partner for WCW World Champion Ron Simmons.

Cactus Jack/Tony Atlas/Barbarian vs. Ron Simmons/Too Cold Scorpio

Ok so Simmons is world champion and is feuding with various guys because they wanted to make Simmons seem like he had something to do while making the WCW Title a midcard title so that guys like Great Muta and Chono, NWA guys, could be the REAL focus of the show. Simmons vs. Barbarian was the WCW Title match at Halloween Havoc. Let that sink in for a bit.

This is Scorpio’s debut and the good guys sprint to the ring with the announcers having no clue what Scorpio’s name is. This match with having only one white guy in it is Watts’ attempt to make the company believe he’s not racist and of course he made the black dude worthless and the title a joke until Sting saved it. Jack is legit injured here so he was a manager for the most part. Somehow injured he was miles ahead of the guys he managed.

Atlas looks like a freaking tank here. There was supposed to be some guy named Robbie Walker as Simmons’ partner. Considering this is Scorpio when he was young and in awesome shape and totally mind blowing, I think he upgraded. Yeah he’s 27 here as is Jack so both guys are young and just awesome. Scorpio misses a moonsault completely and kicks Jack in the head so he has to tag.

Jack and Simmons now as Barbarian was in there all of 10 seconds. Remember: Jack is badly hurt here but he’s the only credible guy on his team. Ah, it’s the #1 contender: Barbarian. Yes that Barbarian. It’s weird hearing them constantly saying “Simmons’ partner” because they really don’t know who he is. Atlas comes in and is just old. He’s still ripped though so that helps.

Barbarian beats on him a bit but then Jack has to be the one to get kicked in the head. Hot tag to Scorpio who blows the roof off the place. He was SO far ahead of his time it’s not even funny. Barbarian misses the big boot to Simmons which kills Atlas and with Simmons holding the other two off, Scorpio unleashes the 450 which is more or less the national debut of it and you can’t hear Ross’ commentary (which is more or less him losing his mind) over how loud the fans are. Naturally that gets the pin.

Rating: B-. This was to do two things: further the Simmons vs. Jack’s team feud and the bigger one: make 2 Cold Scorpio look AMAZING. To say the very least regarding the second one, JACKPOT. The fans loved him as more or less he was a 240 pound Rey Mysterio and keeping in mind this is 1992, this was completely revolutionary stuff. Awesome debut and everything worked like a charm. Match sucked when him or Jack wasn’t in there though.

Scorpio would become a big deal on his own as a singles guy, including receiving an NWA World Title shot at Clash of the Champions 23.

NWA World Title: Barry Windham vs. 2 Cold Scorpio

This could be bad but it could be good. Windham was just holding the title for a little while before Flair got it back in about a month. Jesse asks what kind of name Scope is. Jesse brings up that he was in the Navy and Norfolk is a naval town so he’s happy here. No one believes Windham has any chance of losing here as Scorpio was young, talented and over so of course the NWA can’t let him have the belt. That’s Flair’s belt blast it.

Jesse wants to know who Jordan is betting on tonight. That’s a great line. Scorpio kicks out of a leaping, and I use that term loosely, DDT. Hey! Wanna know how Badd is? Call the Hotline and find out! Yes, we’ll not only give out private medical records, we’ll charge you for them! Windham punches the heck out of Scorpio and this is pretty one sided.

Fans are into it though so that works. In a very cool move, Scorpio is on the apron and hits a slingshot, note that it’s not a springboard, 450. Scorpio’s comeback is very good but in the end he gets caught just like you would expect him to. The Leaping DDT ends it to retain Windham’s title.

Rating: B. This was way better than it should have been. When Scorpio wasn’t fat and was actually motivated, he could go with anyone and that’s what he did here. Solid match all around although the ending sucked to a fairly large extent just out of boringness. The double title thing still didn’t work.

On to the tag team division that Scorpio was best known for. He would hook up with Marcus Bagwell for a Tag Team Title show on the October 23, 1993 episode of WCW Saturday Night.

Tag Titles: Marcus Bagwell/2 Cold Scorpio vs. Nasty Boys

Naties are defending. Knobbs shoves Scorpio into the corner to start and it’s quickly off to Sags who does…..nothing at all. Back to Knobbs who walks into a slam before a slingshot moonsault gets two for Scorpio. He puts on a hammerlock with his feet before it’s off to Bagwell for a double faceplant. We hit the armbar by Marcus and the challengers take turns working over the arm. Brian fights back and makes the tag off to Jerry who walks into the same arm work.

A double dropkick puts Jerry down again and Scorpio puts on another armbar. 2 Cold goes up but completely misses a splash to change control. A Knobbs distraction lets Sags get in a chair shot to the back and Scorpio is in big trouble. He’s able to kick out at two though as the fans chant WHOMP THERE IT IS. Back to Knobbs for a gutwrench slam but Bagwell breaks up the count at two.

We hit the abdominal stretch from Brian but Sags comes back in for some elbows on the bad ribs. Scorpio tries to fight back but gets caught in a bearhug to keep things slow. He finally fights out of it with something resembling a bulldog and an enziguri is enough for the hot tag to Bagwell. Marcus fights off both guys and everything breaks down. Sags and Scorpio are whipped into each other but Jerry gets up fast enough to drop a top rope ax handle on Marcus, only to pull him up at two. Sags lifts him up for a slam but Scorpio dropkicks them both down, putting Bagwell on top for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C-. Not a very good match here but I’ve seen far worse. This was the definition of a meaningless title reign as they would lose the belts back the next night at Halloween Havoc. Bagwell and Scorpio felt like a pair of guys thrown together and they weren’t much more than that at all.

Soon after this it would be off to an NWA territory known as Eastern Championship Wrestling for an NWA World Title tournament. Here’s Scorpio vs. Shane Douglas in the finals.

NWA World Title: Shane Douglas vs. 2 Cold Scorpio

And we get no entrances or anything like that. Joey said a quick thing about this is it and we cut to the bell ringing. I’m fairly certain that Shane is heel here but it’s not incredibly clear. Yeah he definitely is. The locker room is out to watch this. They try to tie this into the classic NWA guys like Race and Thesz, but for some reason the WHOMP There it is chant hurts the credibility on that one.

They do some decent stuff but it’s a tad sloppy which hurts it a bit. I wonder what Shane is thinking as he knows what he will be doing in about fifteen minutes. They lock up for about the fifth time in two minutes. We get it guys. You can do the most basic move on the planet. They do a bunch of small packages and reversals that aren’t bad but it’s hardly the masterpiece that Joey wants you to think it is.

To change the pace a lot, we have a lock up. A top rope cross body gets two and we hit a chinlock. You can really tell how far the title has fallen when it was eleven years before this when Starrcade aired and the company hit its peak. A top rope dropkick puts Shane on the floor and we have a sign that says I’ve Got Crabs. You can really feel the spirits of Thesz and Kiniski here can’t you?

They really do try to put this over as a classic. Well give Joey a point for trying of course. What they don’t point out most of the time is that Douglas beat Terry Funk for the ECW Title coming into this. Barely Legal was far from Funk’s first title reign. We get back in the ring with Shane somewhat in control.

It amuses me that this was supposed to be the biggest match of all time according to Joey, but that weekend we had Owen vs. Bret in a cage at Summerslam. Anyway, Scorpio misses a moonsault and Shane hits a belly to belly for the win. Scorpio says that Shane was better tonight but he’ll be back. Nice job on stealing the spotlight there buddy.

Rating: C+. This was nothing entertaining at all really. It’s just a match with limited heat and not very good wrestling. I get that this is supposed to mean something in the long run, but dang man, there was just nothing to talk about here at all. It’s not bad but there are about a million better matches.

Then some other stuff happened after the match.

Scorpio is one of the few guys that has been all over the world so we’ll take a look at some of his stuff with other companies. This is one such match from a AAA show, though it took place in Los Angeles.

Tito Santana/Pegasus Kid/2 Cold Scorpio vs. La Parka/Blue Panther/Jerry Estrada

This is IWC vs. AAA. Pegasus Kid you know as Chris Benoit and yes that’s the same Tito Santana you’re familiar with. Estrada is a brawler, Panther is a masked guy and captain and La Parka is La Parka. Scorpio is starting us off but Estrada and Parka fight over who starts. Instead it’s Panther who takes Scorpio to the mat to a HUGE pop. I’m a big Scorpio and Santana fan so I think you know which team I like here.

Off to Benoit vs. Parka. The Parka team is WAY more popular as they’re technically the hometown team. Santana comes in but Estrada and Parka fight over who gets to face Santana. Tito in black trunks is an odd sight to see. Also this is just Tito, not El Matador. Mike says Tito is clearly the weak link on his team. That’s not exactly what I’d say but he’s the Professor.

Parka won’t tag in, ticking Estrada off even more. Benoit and Panther come in to speed things way up and Benoit hits a huge suicide dive to the floor. Benoit is the captain of his team so if he loses it’s over. Scorpio and Parka come in and try to out overdo it. They slug it out but neither guy can take over. Parka fakes taking a low blow and both guys hit the floor. That allows Estrada vs. Santana to come in. Remember that’s legal here.

Estrada is sent to the floor and it’s off to Benoit vs. Panther again. They’re both in blue so that works out well. Benoit hooks the snap suplex but an elbow misses. Parka is tagged in and he walks along the apron for a bit first. The Canadian hits a German on the Mexican and it’s back to Panther again, this time against 2 Cold. They look like their chemistry is way off at times in this.

A powerbomb puts Parka down but Estrada comes in, breaks it up, kicks Parka a bit for good measure and now the heels can’t figure out who to get in. Ok so now it’s Tito vs. Panther. Benoit comes in but misses the swan dive. Scorpio misses his huge moonsault as well. I get why Panther is a champion. La Parka and Estrada fight over who gets to cover Scorpio so it’s back to Panther again.

Parka sends Santana to the floor and sets to dive but hits Estrada of course. Scorpio hits a big dive to take everyone out. Panther misses a moonsault so Benoit hits a Matt Hardy legdrop for two. Panther tries a powerbomb on Chris but Benoit rolls through into a rana for the pin and ZERO reaction, which also might be a cultural thing.

Rating: C. I liked it a little better than the previous one but it’s no classic or anything. The idea here was two different styles and in that theory it worked. At the same time though, the tagging thing isn’t something I can get used to inside of an hour, which is how long this has been going on. It was fine but it’s something I think I’d like a lot more if I watched lucha libre more often.

In 1995, WCW held a show in North Korea which had an audience of, I kid you not, 180,000 people. Scorpio was on the card, facing Wild Pegasus.

2 Cold Scorpio vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit is named Wild Pegasus here. Eric talks about how the lives in Korea are as so much is closed off to them and they have never seen anything like this. This really is something to see. New Japan is co-promoting with WCW here so you’ll see a lot of puro in this. This is a pretty choreographed and gymnastics based match to start which the fans applaud.

It’s so strange to see a totally new audience see something like this. If nothing else it’s cool to see their reaction to seeing something like this which they’ve never seen before. Onoo is playing a heel here that only likes the Japanese guys. His voice is very hard to hear as he’s really soft spoken. Benoit hits a jumping tombstone and the headbutt hits on Scorpio for the pin.

Rating: C+. These are hard matches to grade. There are no angles or anything to them as this is really just an exhibition and an attempt to expose wrestling to a brand new audience, even though they’ll hardly ever see it again. That being said, I’m not expecting much from these matches, but it’s nice to see. The grades will be far less harsh based on how these matches are going to be drawn up.

Back to ECW, where Scorpio would win the Tag Team Titles in a singles match against Rocco Rock. He would choose Sandman as his partner and defend the titles at November 2 Remember 1995.

Tag Titles: 2 Cold Scorpio/Sandman vs. Public Enemy

Woman manages Scorpio and Sandman who are champions (along with Scorpio being TV Champion) and come out to Whomp There It Is. Whoever gets the fall here faces Mikey Whipwreck later in the show for the world title. Woman is kind of hot actually. She could look rather good at times. Scorpio dances a lot while we’re waiting on the Public Enemy to get here.

I have no idea what the face/heel alignment is here but I think Public Enemy is face. According to Gertner the TV Title is on the line here also. Yeah apparently Sandman and Scorpio are the heels here. Sandman is billed from…..Utah? Seriously? Scorpio is doing a thing where he says he doesn’t weigh as much as he really does. He does have a gut on him.

Public Enemy is leaving soon after this for ECW apparently. Scorpio offers them a chance to leave so let’s have a dance off. Uh…..ok? Scorpio cuts a rug and Joey dances too. The camera catches him and his reaction is great. Rocco does a robot which isn’t horrible. Scorpio does one also and destroys him. And now we set dancing back about a thousand years with Sandman dancing too. Joey: “Yes but can he walk a straight line?” They want Woman to dance and it’s very short. Crowd is WAY into this.

The champs jump the dancing morons but Public Enemy clears the ring quickly. AND IT’S TIME TO DANCE! The music is still playing as I think we have a comedy match on our hands. Just a hunch mind you. Ok so now we’re ready to go with Sandman vs. Grunge. Sandy grabs a headlock but is sent to the floor. Everything breaks down quickly and they all head to the floor.

Everyone grabs a chair and gets back in the ring for a good old fashioned duel. Sandman and Grunge are thrown to the floor and Scorpio follows. They fight up the aisle and a fan offers 2 Cold a frying pan. He steals someone’s prosthetic hand instead. Well why not? Sandman goes into the crowd and Grunge is busted open. He hits a splash for two on Scorpio as we’re bordering on having a regular match.

Rocco hits Sandman with a pumpkin pie and Sandy is in the crowd again. Woman pulls Sandman out of the crowd. Sandman tags himself in and he jumps over the top (!!!) with something like a dropkick. Rocco comes in and hits a headscissors to take over. Slingshot legdrop by Sandman but he doesn’t cover.

Off to Scorpio who hits a slingshot splash for two. Scorpio vs. Rock at the moment if you’re all lost. Rock avoids a dropkick and escapes a tilt-a-whirl, only to miss a moonsault. The fans chant for SD Jones for some reason as Scorpio hits a double underhook powerbomb which is broken up at two.

Standing moonsault eats knees and it’s off to Sandman. Rocco (they’re Rocco Rock and Johnny Grunge if you’re totally confused by me changing named) still can’t bring in Grunge so Grunge comes in and pounds on Sandman. Woman cracks Rocco with a kendo stick and Sandman dives over the top to take out Grunge. Sandman gets backdropped onto a table which doesn’t break. FREAKING OW MAN.

Grunge finally goes through the table and everything breaks down even further. Rock hits a big moonsault to the floor as they need to end this soon. A broom handle is brought in from somewhere with Scorpio taking over with it. There it goes though so 2 Cold settles for a Stinger Splash and moonsault for two on Rocco. We’re tagging again now and Grunge gets the hot tag. Sandman comes in sans tag but Public Enemy screws up their finisher and Sandman falls on top for the pin.

Rating: D. Yeah this went too long. These guys aren’t the ones you want having seventeen minutes. This was better as a comedy match but then again I might have just wanted to see Woman dance. Either way, not much here and Sandman getting the pin was pretty much the only logical choice since he lost the title to Mikey in the first place.

After a few more months in ECW it was off to the WWF where Scorpio would become a pimp in a zoot suit named Flash Funk. One of his first big matches was at In Your House 12.

Leif Cassidy vs. Flash Funk

 

Cassidy is more famous as Al Snow but is one half of the New Rockers here. Funk is more famous as 2 Cold Scorpio and is basically a pimp without calling him as much. He has Funkettes and funk music, basically making him the original Brodus Clay. Even Vince dances to the theme song a bit. After a long dance sequence by Funk and his girls we’re ready to go. Funk shoves Cassidy into the ropes to start and dances a bit, only angering Leif as a result.

 

They trade wristlocks until Flash spins around and grabs an armbar on the mat. Cassidy spins up but a flying snap mare takes him right back down. Funk flips out of a Boston crab attempt and takes Leif down into a headlock. Back up and Flash tries to go up but slips off the ropes, only to pop back up and hit a cross body to set up another armbar. A headscissors out of the corner is countered into a reverse powerbomb by Cassidy and the Rocker takes over.

 

Cassidy blocks a right hand and traps Funk’s arms for some headbutts, followed by a belly to belly over the top and out to the floor. Leif follows it up with a springboard moonsault to the floor in a great looking dive. Back in and we hit the chinlock but Flash fights up and dances a bit more. Another powerbomb attempt by Cassidy is countered and Flash lands on his feet, dancing again. Leif comes back with a sitout spinebuster for a very delayed two count. Off to a modified dragon sleeper but Leif lets him go very quickly for some reason.

 

Funk avoids a middle rope moonsault as you can see a lot of empty seats not that far from the ring. Funk hits the ropes and cartwheels into a spinning enziguri, sending Leif out tot he floor. Another big dive takes Cassidy down before a gorgeous top rope moonsault gets two for Funk. They trade some quick rollups for two each until Flash scores with an enziguri and the Funky Flash Splash (450 and yes that’s the real name) gets the pin. We even get a rare error from JR who calls it a Shooting Star Press.

 

Rating: B-. This took awhile to get going but for its time, this was pretty awesome. Funk is a personal favorite of mine who could fly like few other mainstream guys at this time. Cassidy was no slouch either but it would take an absurd gimmick to get him noticed, which is a shame at the\\\ end of the day.

Continuing the international theme, Flash was on the March 3, 1997 episode of Raw, held in Germany.

Sultan vs. Flash Funk

Sultan is Rikishi. Jim Ross has joined us on commentary. Lawler calls in and yells at Vince for having ECW guys on Raw. Didn’t Jerry invite him? If the ECW guys show up next week, Lawler will finish the fight. After a break the match is joined in progress with Sultan running him over. Flash does his usual flying around the ring to get in some offense but Sultan hooks him in a sleeper. Heyman calls in to say Lawler is over the line. The challenge is accepted but it might not be next week. Standing rana sets up a top rope moonsault for two by Funk. Sultan counters a headscissors and the camel clutch ends this quick.

Rating: C-. This match was fine but it’s by far and away the weakest of the matches as far as star power goes. Good match here as Funk is always someone I love watching. Sultan was a dead end gimmick and more or less stopped meaning anything after Mania when Rocky beat him in the IC Title match.

To England, from One Night Only, a one off show (appropriately enough) from Birmingham in September of 1997.

Flash Funk vs. The Patriot

Flash Funk is more commonly known as 2 Cold Scorpio and is a pimp without the name of being one. Patriot showed up a few weeks before this and somehow had a title shot at the previous PPV which went nowhere. Naturally he “came within an eyelash” but that didn’t mean anything after that show.

Patriot has Angle’s old music which it’s just odd to hear in 1997. He’s more or less a heel here since he comes out with the American flag. Patriot says he wears a mask because he represents the face of every American. I don’t know that many men that have golden skin like that. Flash is wearing a freaking zoot suit. This isn’t as good of a match as it could be but it’s ok I guess.

It’s about as generic as you could get but that’s fine. Vince calls Flash the Funkmeister. I’m done. Patriot was just annoying as he never went anywhere. He wasn’t that good at all but was built up to be this great worker which he just wasn’t at all. They keep saying the reason they’re not being all violent and crap is because they don’t hate each other. That’s better than nothing I guess.

If nothing else this should tell you everything you need to know about Patriot: his finishers are a full nelson slam called the Uncle Slam and a top rope shoulder block called the Patriot Missile. Funk’s finisher is called the Funky Flash Splash. A full nelson slam ends this. That was a waste of time.

Rating: C-. Again, this was just there. It wasn’t particularly good or bad, but Patriot got some decent heat which is really all you can ask for. Funk went for a big move from the top and it missed for the Uncle Slam. That’s better than nothing I guess. It could have been a lot worse I guess, but this just wasn’t the best choice of a pairing.

In 1998 there was a quick cross promotional story with WWF and ECW that saw Flash go to ECW for a night at Living Dangerously 1998 against Rob Van Dam.

Rob Van Dam vs. 2 Cold Scorpio

Van Dam is still a huge heel here but it’s lightening up a lot. Scorpio is over at least. He’s Flash Funk at this point but here he’s just the simple 2 Cold Scorpio and therefore much better than he was in WWF. The more I hear the more I think Van Dam is already a face. They start with a long feeling out process which is fine as they do some decent technical stuff.

 

However, we of course get a botch because it’s ECW. Those things just suck the life out of a lot of matches. I understand that they are going to happen and at least here they covered it up a bit. In the previous match they just assumed no one noticed and thought it would be fine. That’s just freaking dumb. We get a very nice reversal sequence with a lot of monkey flips that ends with a standoff.

 

Very nice indeed. We hit the floor and Van Dam is in the crowd. Well you knew it was going to happen sooner or later I \guess. I think they’re going for the big epic match here but the fans aren’t all happy with it which can’t be a good sign. To be fair though, most of the time not all fans are going to love the thing. The fans want Sandman apparently. That sums up ECW crowds pretty well.

 

We’re given a high flying technically mostly sound match, and the fans want weapons and blood and tables. So many times these fans were just ridiculous and stupid and this is one of them. Scorpio hits a SWEET moonsault. The Five Star which isn’t called that yet gets knees or what are called knees I suppose as it looked like it hit pretty well to me. We hit the ramp for awhile and the Van Daminator is more or less no sold. Hint for how to counter: HIT HIM WITH THE CHAIR. Seriously dude, use some freaking intelligence.

 

A piledriver on the ramp and Van Dam is hurt. And there goes the referee because in a no DQ match we need a referee for…? Van Dam tries to steal the 450 and would have missed completely anyway. Scorpio mostly hits the 450 and here’s Sabu to up the workrate. An Arabian Facebuster gets two. Sandman comes out to chase off Sabu. Van Dam gets a SWEET jumping rollup for the pin. Post match Van Dam acts very cocky and offers a handshake but Scorpio nails him to a big pop.

 

Sabu comes back with a table so they try to put Scorpio through it. Naturally this doesn’t work as Sandman makes the save. In a stupid moment, as Scorpio is laying on it and Sandman makes the save, he pops up as soon as Sandman is here. Yeah that didn’t look dumb at all. Sandman tries a hurricanrana from the top through the table on Sabu. Guess what happens. Go ahead and guess. Anyway, the two faces share a beer after the match. Sandman dances. This is disturbing.

Rating: B-. This was good, but it suffers from the same problem that it always does: Paul Heyman overbooking it. Can ANYONE explain to me why Sabu and Sandman had to come in there? I know RVD and Sabu are partners, but he had no business coming to ringside at all. Just let him be Scorpio.

O Canada! From Breakdown 1998.

Too Much vs. Scorpio/Al Snow

 

Snow is completely insane and carries a mannequin head with him. Too Much is Brian Christopher and a newcomer named Scott Taylor. The fans get all over Too Much, sending Taylor into a fit before he starts with Scorpio. Feeling out process to start with Scorpio cranking on a wristlock before dropping him with a spinwheel kick. Taylor flips around and takes Scorpio down with a dropkick, only to have Scorpio in his face by the time Taylor nips up.

 

It’s off to Snow vs. Christopher with Snow hitting a bunch of headbutts to gain the early advantage. Things start to break down a bit with Scorpio bringing a chair into the ring but Snow uses it as a launching pad to dive at Taylor in the corner. Taylor falls face first into Christopher’s crotch to make the crowd wince. Christopher misses a charge at Snow on the floor and Scorpio hits a top rope splash on Taylor for two.

 

Snow moonsaults Christopher off the apron before heading back inside to slam Taylor. Scorpio goes up top but takes too long, allowing Brian to crotch him down to the floor. Taylor hits a nice springboard dive to take Scorpio down again. Things settle down with Too Much hitting a double backdrop on Scorpio but Christopher stops to dance.

 

Snow comes in sans tag with Head to clean house, only to hit Scorpio by mistake. The referee checks on Scorpio, allowing Al to hit Taylor low for a close two. The save is botched a bit with Christopher coming off the top late and the referee just stopping his count. Scorpio makes a save of his own (also a bit late) but Snow pops up and Snow Plows (scoop brainbuster) Taylor for the pin.

 

Rating: C. The ending was pretty messy but the rest of the match wasn’t bad at all. Scorpio had some incredible talent and Snow was one of the most underrated guys on the roster. Too Much would get far better when they stopped being goofy heels and became dancers. If nothing else it was probably better than the original idea for them: the first openly gay (and in love) tag team.

Scorpio left WWF soon after this and hit the indies. We’ll go from there down to as far south as you can get: perhaps the worst wrestling show ever. If you’ve never heard of this, save yourselves and run now. From Heroes of Wrestling.

2 Cold Scorpio vs. Julio Fantastico

Julio is more commonly known as Julio Dinero in case you’ve heard of him in ECW or old school TNA. Scorpio I’m sure you’ve heard of. If not, imagine a Godfather/Luchador combination. Yeah he was a weird one. Why is Julio on this show again? I have no idea either but whatever.

Why do these two and two tag teams have music but Steele and Valentine didn’t? Oh I guess it’s because they sucked. Scorpio is carrying a replica WCW Title belt. I know that because I see it, not because it’s mentioned or anything like that. This match might have potential to be something close to decent. Can’t you hear my enthusiasm in this show?

Lou Albano comes out for commentary for absolutely no apparent reason. I think he just wandered in here and needed a place to sit down. Albano, having no apparent power or anything, has the authority to give both announcers raises. You know, for the one night show, they’re getting raises for next week.

Albano babbles a lot but if you listen to him, he seems like he knows his stuff. Of course he does, but it’s so much rambling it’s hard to say. Can we just let him talk all night? He’s FAR more entertaining and interesting to listen to. He’s not bragging the whole time and he’s actually offering some insight and says that it’s a dropkick instead of a flying leg kick.

He then offers this and I had to listen at least three times to get all this. He says this about Randy: he’s a nice guy but he looks like he’s got the brain of a dehydrated baby if they put him in a pigeon pack and had him fly backwards. Ladies and gentlemen, this man was responsible for what became Wrestlemania. Apparently Lou looks like a pitbull in heat next to Dinero. This is making the show, hands down.

The match is very sloppy as Scorpio is having to carry this, but that’s the best choice I guess. There’s some decent stuff in there though but it’s just sloppy. We see Scorpio holding the ropes and pulling back for something but we go to a shot of Dinero and just see him being crashed on. Nice one guys. Scorpio’s hair is braided by the way.

Dinero isn’t bad at all actually and it was this match that got him a job with ECW of all things. In other words, Heyman or someone under him actually watched this and scouted talent from it. What does that tell you? Dinero takes a nice backdrop over the railing onto the floor.

They fight into the crowd and we can’t see crap because of the lighting and an annoying kid in a 49ers jersey. And the announcers point out that they don’t know what’s going on. Nice one guys. The referee sees a low blow and is fine with it of course. Dutch: we have a 2 count. The referee counted two. THANKS FOR THAT.

Albano gets on Randy for the leg kick thing again which is kind of amusing I guess. This needs to end like NOW. Dinero shoves the referee into the ropes to crotch Scorpio and that’s fine too.

Scorpio hits Trouble in Paradise which Dinero was going down from before it hit but whatever and a 2nd rope Tumbleweed (Harlem Hangover) hits then he goes up for a moonsault where he twists into another leg drop. He misses by a foot and a half, but that’s decent here.

Rating: D-. By FAR the best mach so far. This got something close to entertaining if you can believe that. The sloppiness just freaking kills it though as Scorpio just can’t do anything at all without botching it at all. There was something close to a decent match here though so that’s better than nothing.

It was back to ECW by the end of the year for a World Title shot on December 10, 1999’s ECW on TNN.

ECW World Title: Mike Awesome vs. 2 Cold Scorpio

Awesome (the champion) runs Scorpio over to start and Scorpio isn’t sure what to do. Scorpio knocks him to the ramp (the arena is strange as the aisle to the ring is on the level with the ring but the ring itself is in a kind of a pit) and hits a flip dive to take over, but back in the ring Awesome suplexes him to the floor. Scorpio is launched into the crowd and the champion dives over the barricade with a clothesline.

A chair to the back puts Scorpio back at ringside and a charge into the chair into Scorpio gets two back in the ring. Another tackle puts 2 Cold down and a clothesline knocks him inside out. This has been a total squash so far. Scorpio grabs a quick cradle for two and “hits” a superkick to set up a big top rope splash for two. A moonsault gets the same but Scorpio walks into a modified powerbomb for two.

Awesome hits a sweet release German suplex and it’s table time. It is ECW after all. Jazz, Scorpio’s manager, gets in and Scorpio has to save her from being powerbombed through the table. There’s another superkick to Awesome but Scorpio takes too much time to go up top and a HUGE powerbomb through the table kills 2 Cold dead to keep the title on Awesome.

Rating: C. I like both of these guys so I was a fan of this match before it started. This was when Scorpio was a shell of his old self when he was flying all over the place back in WCW in the early 90s. Good stuff here though as Awesome was moving around like Scorpio used to despite being bigger and taller than Scorpio ever was. Fun stuff.

Scorpio went to Japan for several years before coming back to America, mainly on reunion shows or on the independent circuit. Here’s one such appearance from the 15^th anniversary episode of Monday Night Raw.

15th Anniversary Battle Royal

THE FINK does the intros. We’ve got Al Snow, Bart Gunn (man, where did they drag him out of?), DOINK THE CLOWN, Repo Man, Steve Blackman (in far better shape than he ever was when he was a regular), Pete Gas of the Mean Street Posse, BOB FREAKING BACKLUND (58 years old here and looking to be in better shape than most of the roster), Gangrel, Goon, Skinner, IRS, Flash Funk, Scotty 2 Hotty, Jim Neidhart, Sgt. Slaughter and Gillberg, who gets a full entrance with guards and pyro sticks and canned chants. That’s AWESOME. This is supposed to be a 15 man battle royal but there are 16 in it. Eh who cares?

Gillberg is ganged up on and tossed immediately. Backlund is out quickly and the point of this isn’t who wins but is just for fun. A Head shot by Snow puts Doink out. Same for Gangrel. HEAD CHEESE EXPLODES!!! Skinner is called a fabulous one (haha) and there go Bart, Flash and Blackman. Repo Man puts Goon out and Skinner puts Repo out. Final Four are Slaughter, IRS, Skinner and Scotty. IRS gets his briefcase but gets it knocked into his face so we can see the Worm. Skinner puts Scotty out but walks into the Cobra Clutch. Slaughter dumps Skinner but IRS dumps Slaughter in the same ending from X7?s Gimmick Battle Royal.

BUT WAIT! Here’s Ted DiBiase, who is officially in the battle royal also. However, he says that IRS has his price so IRS dives over the top, making DiBiase the winner! And that my friends, is why Ted DiBiase is better than your favorite heel. We even get the evil laugh! The match isn’t worth rating because that’s not the point. The ending made me smile a lot though.

We’ll close it out with a win from a losing show: TNA’s Hardcore Justice, because why put on something original when you can put on an ECW reunion show?

CW Anderson vs. 2 Cold Scorpio

You know, because these two have SUCH a history together. They keep calling it the original era because they can’t say ECW, even though they do anyway. Oh this is wrestling. Just to be clear I guess. Amazingly enough, there’s next to nothing to talk about here. Scorpio was great in his time, but he was old in 99 and he’s very old now. This is kind of back and forth and really isn’t bad for the most part. Spinebuster gets two and the Tumbleweed ends it.

Rating: C-. This was actually ok. They had a nice back and forth thing going here with a solid clash of styles going. I liked Anderson to an extent and I always liked Scorpio so this worked well for me. Somehow I have a feeling this is going to be the best match of the night. This wasn’t bad at all though and has me in a better mood.

Scorpio is a guy that is remembered as being awesome but was more of a traveling attraction than anything else. He had some singles success in Japan and ECW but was mainly a tag team guy that made his partners look better most of the time. The stuff he was doing was insane back in 1992/3 and wouldn’t have been seen anywhere else in America. He’s a fun character and worth checking out if you’ve got the chance.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Summerslam at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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