Smackdown
Date: October 4, 2013
Location: Riverside Centroplex, Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the final show before Battleground and the company has gone from on fire to limping into the PPV in a matter of weeks. Bryan vs. Orton is the main event on Sunday again but it feels like an afterthought. The problem is it doesn’t feel like an afterthought to any specific thing as none of the matches feel like a big deal at all. The main event tonight is Big Show vs. Shield so I guess that’s our focus tonight. Let’s get to it.

The opening recap shows Orton laying out Bryan to end Raw. The Bellas being involved makes me roll my eyes.

Theme song.

Here’s Big Show to open things up. Show says he’s been embarrassed of how he’s treated some people lately and we get a knockout montage. Big Show talks about Stephanie and HHH holding the job over his head and how some people can understand what it’s like to have to do things they don’t want to do. He knows he can’t be forgiven but asks for some understanding.

After what his wife said to Stephanie he isn’t even sure if he’s a man anymore. There’s so much anger and frustration built up inside of him that he threatened to knock HHH out on Monday. If he had done it though he would have been fired, but just for threatening it he has to face the Shield in a handicap match. However, if he’s going down he’s taking Shield with him.

Cue HHH because what would an opening segment be without him? He’s ashamed that Big Show doesn’t like his leadership, but Big Show’s frustration and financial and marital problems are all on Big Show. HHH has considered Big Show a friend for the last 20 years, meaning he knew Big Show in college, two years before Show had his first match in WCW.

HHH holds up Big Show’s mortgage, which apparently he’s paid, meaning Big Show owes him rather than the bank. Therefore, either Big Show gets his emotions in check or HHH moves into Big Show’s house. As for tonight, since Big Show is so crazy, we’ll make the main event Big Show vs. Shield/Randy Orton. And Big Show is crushed yet again, because there will be NO strong heroes in this company.

Rob Van Dam vs. Fandango

The announcers spend all of Fandango’s entrance talking about breast cancer and how pink everything is. Fandango dances to start so RVD does the finger points, earning himself an elbow to the head. Rob comes back with kicks in the corner and a monkey flip to take over. Van Dam goes to the apron but gets knocked to the floor as we take a break. Back with Rob coming off the middle rope with a kick to the face and some regular kicks for good measure. Rolling Thunder connects but Summer breaks up the Five Star for the DQ at 2:30 shown of 5:00. This match needed a break?

Fandango goes to find some weapons post match but Rob gets the upper hand and lays Fandango out with a slingshot DDT. He finds a trashcan and Fandango gets a Van Terminator to pop the crowd.

Ryback vs. R-Truth

Jobber entrance for the monster. Ryback powers him into the corner to start but Truth comes back with some right hands to send Ryback to the floor. Heyman calls Truth a bully and Ryback will have none of that. Back in and Truth escapes a gorilla press before kicking Ryback down for two. The ax kick misses and the Meat Hook and Shell Shock complete the squash of Truth at 2:24. Your #1 contender to the Intercontinental Title everyone.

Post match Axel lays out Truth again to really make sure no one buys him as a contender.

Alberto Del Rio isn’t worried about Dolph Ziggler tonight when a stagehand comes up with the trashcan RVD used earlier tonight. The champion isn’t pleased.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Dolph Ziggler

Non-title of course and Sandow is on commentary to hype up his Battleground pre-show match with Ziggler. Before the match we get the top ten Van Dam moments video from Raw. Sandow refers to Ziggler as a former Mr. MITB instead of a former world champion. That tells you almost everything you need to know about Dolph at the moment. Feeling out process to start with Ziggler getting a quick rollup for two, sending the champion to the floor.

Back in and Del Rio stomps Ziggler down, only to be dropkicked out to the floor as we take a break. We come back with Alberto holding a chinlock until Ziggler fights back up. Dolph misses a charge into the post and Del Rio has a shoulder to work on. A belly to back suplex gets two on Dolph and we hit the chinlock again. Ziggler fights up and comes back with another dropkick to knock Alberto off the apron, only to have him snap Ziggler’s throat across the ropes. Dolph comes right back again though with a top rope X Factor to put both guys down.

JBL tries to talk Sandow into cashing in as Dolph pounds away right hands in the corner. A running clothesline puts Del Rio down but he still avoids the Fameasser and gets two off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Alberto goes up but dives into a dropkick for a close two count. The champ gets back up and hits a LOUD running enziguri in the corner for two of his own. Del Rio loads up a superplex but gets countered into a sunset bomb for another close two.

There’s the sleeper from Ziggy but Del Rio rams him face first into the buckle for the break. A middle rope double stomp to the back has Dolph down again but the low superkick is countered into a rollup for two. The second attempt at the kick connects for two for the champion but Ziggler rolls through the armbreaker into the Fameasser for a VERY hot two. Not that it matters as the armbreaker goes on for the submission from Dolph at 10:30 shown of 12:50.

Rating: B-. This got a lot better at the end but ziggler having almost no chance at all didn’t help things. That’s the problem with how WWE takes guys down the card: there’s almost no way to believe they could win a big match when they’re on a losing streak. Del Rio as usual is much better in the ring than he is as a character but that’s been the case for years. I could have gone for more arm work than just at the beginning and ending of the match though.

Los Matadores vignette.

3MB vs. Los Matadores

Slater/Mahal again who ranted about Toroito costing them the match. There’s no McIntyre in sight for the second straight show. The bullfighters do their flips and bull stuff before the bell. Diego cranks on Slater’s arm to start and shouts OLE a lot. Mahal comes in and gets his leg swept out from under him before being double backdropped.

Back up and Los Matadores hit a combination backbreaker/slingshot splash for no cover. Slater comes back in and takes over with a kick to the face and a quickly broken chinlock. Fernando comes back with Ultimo Dragon’s corner headstand before it’s back to Diego vs. Mahal. Diego hits a reverse Cross Rhodes followed by the double Angle Slam for the pin at 3:20.

Rating: D. Remember the match on Monday? This was the same thing but with less flipping and less excitement. Los Matadores don’t seem to have a long shelf life to them but at least it gives us another tag team for a few months. Nothing to see here though as the bull continues to steal most of the attention.

Post match Torito dives on 3MB.

Heyman and his Guys are ready for their matches on Sunday. Truth’s dream of being Intercontinental Champion is false but at least he’s not CM Punk. On Sunday, CM Punk will fight to the death but it just won’t be enough. After the beating, Punk will be looking up at his lord, master and owner: Paul Heyman, the best in the world.

Brie Bella vs. Aksana

Please for the love of all things good and holy keep this short. Brie moves away from Aksana to start before dropkicking her out to the floor. Back in and Aksana sends her throat first into the middle rope and stomps away for two. We hit the chinlock on Brie before Aksana crawls around on all fours. Brie comes right back with a middle rope Bella Buster for the pin (ignore Aksana’s foot on the ropes) at 2:10.

Post match here are AJ with the psycho eyes and Tamina for whatever reason. AJ says after she keeps the title on Sunday, Brie and Bryan can go have a goat faced kid. After the doctor sees the abomination, he’ll spank Brie instead of the baby. I’m still wondering why I’m supposed to cheer for the Bellas other than who they sleep with.

Kofi Kingston vs. Big E. Langston

Before the match we get a clip from Smackdown of Bray Wyatt laughing at Kingston but not attacking him. Langston runs Kofi over to start and gets two off a running splash. Kofi goes up for a cross body but gets caught in midair, only to slip down Langston into the rollup for the pin at 52 seconds. Was there no one else that could do the job here? No one at all?

Post match here’s Bray on the stage with the Family behind Kofi. Bray talks about calling a hero another facade of a failed generation. This Sunday, the first will fall so follow the buzzards. Kofi still isn’t touched.

Post break Bray vs. Kofi is announced for Sunday.

We look back at the Rhodes Family segment from Raw. Word on the street is that Stephanie is ticked off for Dusty going slightly off script and putting his hand on her face. Heaven forbid everything isn’t EXACTLY planned out for her for once in her life.

Shield/Randy Orton vs. Big Show

It’s Ambrose in first with Show pounding away in the corner and headbutting Ambrose down. Off to Rollins who tries a kick to the ribs before being thrown into the corner for a beating of his own. It’s Reigns’ turn now but he goes down when trying a shoulder block. Randy gets the tag and tries to keep Big Show away from him in a smart strategy. Show gets him in the corner anyway for the not so loud chop, sending Randy running off to Rollins.

Seth actually knocks Show down with a top rope knee to the jaw and a kick to the face gets two. Randy is out on the floor until Reigns softens Big Show up a bit more. Orton comes in for some stomping and the knee drop for two. A quick DDT gets two more for Orton and it’s back to Roman. Show clotheslines Reigns down a few times before hitting his own spear for no cover. All of the heels come in at once but Big Show fights them off until Ambrose brings in a chair, only to have it punched into his face for the DQ at 5:40.

Rating: D+. That’s the only way you can end this if you want to save any face for Big Show. Obviously you can’t have the giant go over and you don’t want the heels to look weak (Heaven forbid of course) so the DQ after Show holds his own is the best option. Much like everything else on the show tonight though, this didn’t mean much.

Orton hits Show in the back with the chair but there’s no effect. Instead Reigns spears Big Show down as the fans chant for Bryan. There’s an RKO for Big Show and Orton wraps the chair around Big Show’s neck. Cue the Usos to take care of the Shield and FINALLY Daniel Bryan shows up to fight Orton. Bryan fires off kicks and hooks the YES Lock but Ambrose gets back in for the save. Dean takes the running knee and a staredown ends the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This wasn’t a bad show but what did it change about Sunday? The only thing added here was Wyatt vs. Kingston which could have been done just as easily on Raw or at the PPV itself. The wrestling was just ok and HHH is now Big Show’s landlord to make sure Big Show doesn’t get to grow a spine to fight back against the tyranny. Also what happened to the locker room rebellion? None of those guys have done anything against HHH and company for over a week and there’s no sign that they will in the future. As usual, this story just keeps going with no real direction to be seen.

Results

Rob Van Dam b. Fandango via DQ when Summer Rae interfered

Ryback b. R-Truth – Shell Shock

Alberto Del Rio b. Dolph Ziggler – Cross armbreaker

Los Matadores b. 3MB – Double Angle Slam to Mahal

Brie Bella b. Aksana – Middle rope Bella Buster

Kofi Kingston b. Big E. Langston – Rollup

Shield/Randy Orton b. Big Show via DQ when Big Show hit a chair into Ambrose’s face

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Anarchy Rulz 2000
Date: October 1, 2000
Location: Roy Wilkins Auditorium, Saint Paul, Minnesota
Attendance: 4,600
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

We it’s the final countdown here as we only have four shows left. The main event here is Lynn vs. Credible which is a big match for some reason I guess. It’s not like it matters much as their TV show’s last episode was five days after this. RVD gets his TV Title shot against Rhyno here in what should have been the big feud for the last 8 months or so but whatever. Let’s get to it.

Joel does his usual sex promo which is always funny and this is no exception. You could always tell he was having a blast doing those and he clearly is here too. We get the theme song with no real issue beforehand.

Christian York/Joey Matthews vs. Danny Doring/Roadkill

Matthews is more famous as Joey Mercury. Doring and Roadkill continue to be the insanely popular team that finally got the tag belts once the company was dying. Doring and Matthews start us off. Roadkill is ridiculously popular and gets a ton of cheers as he destroys York. He’s Amish in case I didn’t mention that. York counters a slingshot into a leg drop from the middle rope which was pretty sweet.

The better faces clear the ring but Doring goes for a tope but just misses completely and crashes into the concrete in a HORRIBLE looking bump. York and Matthews hit stereo suicide dives which is one of my favorite spots. Roadkill hits a SWEET double clothesline off the top. By that I mean he was standing on the rope, not the corner. That was awesome. This is an awesome high flying match.

Roadkill hits a huge powerbomb on York and the squash is on. A double team slam/top rope leg drop ends this. They hug it out afterwards and Simon Diamond and Swinger show up with chairs to take out the winners.

Rating: B-. Solid opener here that got the crowd into the show quite well. The tag titles meant nothing at all though as they were gone for so long and Nova/Chetti was the best team in the company for like the last year or so. This means nothing though as the belts aren’t even on the line on this show. Decent match but it’s not like it means anything.

Gertner eats Lucky Charms as his diet regimen. Someone has been training him apparently.

Cyrus comes out and bashes Gertner while using the I’VE GOT POP line that TNN had back then. They have a match tonight which should be one sided as Cyrus used to be a wrestler. Cyrus says to get him, Gertner has to beat a guy named EZ Money. Money was a no name guy that wound up in the very last month of WCW as Jason Jett. Gertner gets scared. Cue Spike for no apparent reason. Apparently he’s the commissioner now which has to be a parody of WWF or WCW. He says Money has to beat Kid Kash for no apparent reason, setting up this.

Kid Kash vs. EZ Money

Somehow the segment I just went through took about 8 minutes. To the shock of NO ONE, Kid Rock music gets no reaction in Minnesota. This should actually be fairly awesome. Kash could go, there’s no question about that. He had been pushed as a big time guy, actually beating Rhyno for the TV Title for two weeks. Money hits what would become his finisher in WCW (vertical suplex but he just lets him go so that Kash goes flying) for two.

The fans want tables and Money crashes onto all of his buddies. Kash hits an INSANE double jump front flip to the floor. If Kash could do nothing else, he could REALLY do big flips well. Gertner tries to get the crowd into things as Money hooks a reverse Boston Crabd and hooks Kash’s arms up with it in a PAINFUL looking move. Kash is just insane with these jumps and flips.

He hits a 360 tornado DDT for a long two as the fans are way into this. Kash hits what would be more commonly known as Whisper in the Wind and a bunch of other big flips and springboard moves for two. He was definitely exciting. Money Maker (double underhook piledriver) gets nothing due to interference.

The referee doesn’t notice three guys in the ring other than Kash apparently. None of this works though as Kash is too big of a star to lose to EZ Money. Money goes for a top rope powerbomb but reverses into a rana for the pin in a sloppy but difficult  move. Gertner vs. Cyrus now.

Rating: B-. This was supposed to be entertaining and it certainly was. Kash was fun to watch at times and this would certainly be in that list. Money was never anything all that special but he was ok here. This was just filler but for about 8 minutes it was a very solid cruiserweight style match.

The heels beat the tar out of Kash, Spike makes the save, Spike gets beaten up and Sandman comes in without music or anything to blow the roof off the place. Elektra tries to seduce him but gets beer poured on her chest and Gertner’s face shoved into them. Match finally.

Cyrus vs. Joel Gertner

Joel takes his shirt off and has Kamala paint on his chest. He goes for a People’s Elbow, even taking the neckbrace off. This is weird as Joel has no idea what he’s doing and Cyrus is a trained wrestler in a suit. It’s ALL Cyrus here of course as Gertner is pretty much dead. Pay no attention to Sandman out there. I’m sure he won’t do anything. Beer to Cyrus’ eyes and a rollup ends it for Gertner.

Rating: N/A. This was just for the ECW fans and it worked fine. It only took six months to get to this. They talk about how this is a victory over the Network, even though they would be canceled in 5 days anyway.

Beer bash follows.

Website plug and house show ads to fill time.

Da Baldies vs. Chilly Willy/Balls Mahoney

Angel and DeVito for the combination here. Willy was this guy that never meant anything but got a push near the end of the company due to no one else being around to get it. Joel comes back to commentary here and talks like a New Yorker in a funny bit. Mahoney has a fork and starts stabbing people with it. There’s a fork shot from the apron to the floor. Yeah this is going to end well.

This is the big blood/violence match of the night as Balls bites the cut and might have licked it a bit. There isn’t much here at all other than a DeVito moonsault in the crowd which mostly misses. Willy and Angel are more or less not involved here, leaving us with a one on one in the ring which isn’t that good. Angle runs back in and we get the staplegun to the eye. Three stereo chair shots to the faces end this.

Rating: D-. It’s your standard big brawl that means nothing at all but it got the fans into it so I guess we can pass it. A match with a staplegun to the eye though is just hard to get anything close to caring about or taking like pro wrestling as you probably guessed. I never got the appeal of these.

Lou E. Dangerously jumps Gertner. Joey goes after him and security drags him off. We go to the control room for no apparent reason where a guy is freaking now.

We go to Justin and Francine who we can’t hear at first. Oh he’s bashing Jerry Lynn. Credible is in a Favre jersey, which will NEVER mean anything in Minnesota. Nope not a thing.

Lynn says he’s tired of just being the best. He wants to be champion. If that was the case about two years ago, things would have gone differently for ECW.

Joey and Cyrus on commentary now. Is there a point to this after Cyrus got beat earlier?

Steve Corino vs. CW Anderson

The winner gets the title shot at the next PPV. I don’t remember either guy winning a PPV match recently but whatever. I think Corino is a face here but I’m not sure. Anderson is older than Corino? I wouldn’t have guessed that one. A long counter sequence starts us off and the fans are for Corino. They chop it out and amazingly Steve isn’t bleeding yet.

For a guy based around the idea of old school, Corino wasn’t very old school. As I type that Cyrus calls him out on it. Anderson is bleeding. Also isn’t Anderson supposed to be based on Arn Anderson? Therefore both of these guys are old school, and isn’t that completely against the idea of ECW in the first place? Corino takes a great chair shot and hey Steve is busted open. Even Joey points out how easily he bleeds.

Anderson goes for a Stunner on Corino’s arm as this really is old school based. They slug it out and Corino takes over for a bit. This has been pretty decent. Anderson gets crotches on a chair and they’re both down now. Corino goes Dusty Rhodes and I shake my head at him. Dusty, the guy that was supposed to be everything ECW was against, is getting tributes here. Simon and Swinger come out but Victory holds them off.

Anderson keeps trying to hit the spinebuster and never can get it. He sets up another chair in the middle of the ring but gets superkicked into it. He goes for the spinebuster AGAIN but gets caught in an Old School Expulsion (Reverse Twist of Fate and a great name for a move) on the chair for the pin and the title shot at November to Remember.

Rating: B-. This wasn’t bad but it was lacking that pop to get it to be something good. The chairs were used far too much in this for a match that is supposed to be about who is the best wrestler. Again I ask, who else have these two beaten? I certainly can’t remember them getting a major PPV win but I guess they’ve been hot on TV or house shows. Not bad but certainly lacking something.

Mikey, Tajiri and Sinister Minister (James Mitchell) read a book about witchcraft and demonology and it lights on fire. Riveting.

Rhyno wants RVD tonight. Good thing he has him. He says he’ll shove Fonzie’s whistle up his…yeah. Up Fonzie’s that is.

Tag Titles: FBI vs. Mikey Whipwreck/Tajiri

Once the titles hadn’t been in place for four months, Mikey and Tajiri won the belts in a tournament and held them for one day. The FBI, a former comedy team, held them for a few months before the final change at the next to last PPV. Nova and Chetti never got them of course. The challengers are in masks which is a weird look.

To my complete and utter shock, we start with a glorified comedy match. The Unholy Alliance (challengers) dominate and we get a Tarantula on Guido. Tony is tied up in the corner and gets a pair of baseball slides and a fireball. I continue to wonder why they called this wrestling after a certain point.

Can someone get these people a pizza before they all die? Tajiri slaps the turnbuckle to go with the clapping, but if he doesn’t speak English, how does he know it’s something he should clap to? Guido is busted open. They’re actually tagging in and out here which is rather odd. Unprettier is blocked by Mist but Sal pulls the referee out.

The Alliance is dominating here, meaning of course they’re going to lose. Yep there’s the belt into the ring from Sal. In a kind of creative ending, Tajiri takes Sal out with a moonsault but he lands on him and Tajiri can’t get out. A belt shot and an Unprettier keeps the titles on a completely uninteresting team for no apparent reason.

Rating: C+. This was ok and formula based but they could certainly have a better one. On TV where the titles changed hands, they apparently had a classic which I’ve heard a lot about but haven’t seen. This wasn’t bad at all but it was just kind of there. I still don’t get the appeal of the Italians as the champions though but they company was out of business in like four months anyway so it didn’t really matter.

More house show/website stuff.

TV Title: Rhyno vs. Rob Van Dam

The whole RVD never got beat and Rhyno is the bigger and better champion is decided here apparently while Justin Credible is main eventing another PPV. Rhyno charges while RVD is doing his spin kick to his name. We immediately go to the floor and I’m not sure if there was a bell yet. This is another of those big brawls that doesn’t really prove anything at all but the fans love them so they kept happening.

The lights are weird here as things are really dark. It’s likely the company just couldn’t afford it I guess. Van Dam hits an over the ropes dive to take out Rhyno. The idea here is RVD’s usual stuff isn’t working so he’s having to hit and run. The skateboard dropkick hits in the corner and the challenger is dominating. Cyrus calls the fans troglodytes. It must be a Canadian thing.

Rhyno hits a middle rope clothesline to kill RVD and take over. And it’s table time. You knew it was coming. Rhyno hits a chinlock as Alfonzo blows his whistle in time with the RVD chants. Five Star gets two and he’s stunned. The Gore hits and there’s the piledriver through the table. Fonzie hits Rhyno with a chair to set up the Van Daminator.

Van Terminator misses thanks to Justin interfering for no apparent reason and it hits Fonzie. Rhyno hits a running spinebuster through the table and then a piledriver on a chair ends it. I always hated that move for him as he’s a power guy using a move that Jerry Lawler used a lot. Never got that.

Rating: D+. You know for a big clash, this was pretty weak. RVD loses….why? Heyman wouldn’t put the spotlight on him because of guys like Justin? This wouldn’t have saved the company but it would have given them a better chance. This was a pretty weak match that didn’t feel special. It’s not really that good and while it’s entertaining, this should have been a main event somewhere instead of a throwaway match. But that would be logical booking which didn’t exist around this time so there we are.

Fonzie is more or less dead and takes forever to get taken out. There might have been a heel referee making a fast count too.

Did you know about the website and the house shows?

We’re at about 8 minutes of nothing at all happening at this point.

ECW World Title: Justin Credible vs. Jerry Lynn

Lynn is the home town guy here so the ending should be clear but it’s ECW so of course it’s not. Justin is still wearing the Favre jersey in Minnesota which is supposed to get heel heat. That doesn’t date the shot at all. Francine has a broken rib or something. Again, these two are in the main event and RVD isn’t. Lynn gets the hometown boy pop and it’s not bad.

We stall FOREVER as it’s been fifteen minutes plus since the last match ended and this one hasn’t even started yet. We start with some technical stuff and the fans think Francine is a crack w****. Joey isn’t sure if Justin can outwrestle Jerry. Great to see that kind of thought going into things here. Lynn hits a middle rope bulldog and we hit the mat again.

Justin goes into the corner and goes to the floor. It wouldn’t have been as bad if he hadn’t jumped over the ropes like that. The plancha mostly misses though and everyone is down. This is moving pretty slowly but there’s a TON of time left so they have time to set something up. I knew the in ring stuff was going on too long. We head to the floor to get away from this wrestling nonsense. Can’t have that now.

Lynn hits a DDT on the chair to get us back to even. This match feels like something that should be in the midcard rather than the main event. Justin gets on a mic and yells at Lynn which is cheap heat 101 and there’s nothing wrong with that. We get our like third DDT of the match on the chair. Mix it up a bit guys. And there are a pair of legdrops to fix that.

Francine makes a save so there’s no table for Credible. He can’t beat Jerry though and Lynn hits the Cradle Piledriver for two, killing the crowd. Credible gets his own piledriver for two and they’re back. The referee gets kicked in the face and another is here. He gets to two and then just stops. It’s the same referee from the RVD match so yeah he was cheating earlier. Belt shot gets two.

He’s counting so fast that Jerry is having to in essence kick at what would be a two in a normal match but is almost three here. Tombstone again gets two and it’s New Jack. Dang it. He was supposed to be the referee for no apparent reason and here he is. Cookie sheet (New Jack needs his own cooking show) for the referee but Credible knocks out Jack. He walks into a Cradle Tombstone to give Lynn the title though.

Rating: C+. Not bad here, but like I said this feels like a big midcard match and not a main event on a PPV. That’s not a good sign at all but at least Credible isn’t champion anymore. Again, RVD is never champion but Credible was for over five months. Yeah that’s intelligent. The match was good, but it was Jerry Lynn vs. Justin Credible for the world title. See a problem here?

The locker room empties and Lynn makes a big speech. Or at least he would if the mic works. Seriously?

A Limp Bizkit video to Rollin with highlights of the show ends it.

Overall Rating: C-. This didn’t suck. It’s certainly not a great show or anything like that, but this was certainly one of the better ECW shows. The problem is of course though that the company is dead at this point and this show really didn’t mean much of anything. The booking here is a bit odd but at the same time it came off as a fun show and there was some good stuff on here. If you’re incredibly bored and can actually find it, take a look.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Smackdown
Date: September 27, 2013
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

The WWE is almost on the verge of a civil war between the HHH regime and a good chunk of the midcard. Daniel Bryan continues to be the one big hope for the good guys but tonight is about Dolph Ziggler as he challenges for Dean Ambrose’s US Title. Other than that we may see some new developments for Battleground which is now just over a week away. Let’s get to it.

Here’s HHH to open things up. He’s been checking social media and doesn’t like seeing terms like favoritism or abuse of power. Sometimes WWE Superstars would rather blame management for their own failures. HHH and Stephanie are fine with that burden because they simply can’t make everyone happy so they do what’s best for business. Then on Raw HHH puts Shield in an 11-3 handicap match, ending with Daniel Bryan pinning Seth Rollins for the final win. HHH continues to talk about how awesome the match was but here’s Miz to interrupt.

Miz doesn’t think there’s much to this idea of being fair but HHH cuts him off by reminding Miz of all the opportunities he’s been given. Miz is the classic example of what HHH was talking about: a superstar who failed but blames someone else. HHH put him in the ring with Randy Orton two weeks ago and here’s a clip of the beatdown Orton gave him in front of Miz’s family.

What HHH doesn’t get is why the beatdown that Randy Orton gave Miz should be on HHH’s head. It’s HHH’s job to protect Miz, even from himself. That’s why Miz only allowed Miz to host MizTV on Raw and he even threw Miz another opportunity by giving him Big Show as a guest. We get a clip of Stephanie telling Big Show to knock him out, which Miz says was ridiculous.

HHH asks Miz what he called Stephanie, with Miz repeating the castrated witch line, but he wishes he could replace the W with a B. Tempers were running high all around on Monday and HHH is sure Stephanie regrets what she said. However, let’s talk about tonight. Miz must be ready to go, so tonight it’s Miz vs. Randy Orton. Maybe HHH should even get in the jet and bring Miz’s parents here to watch another beatdown.

R-Truth vs. Alberto Del Rio

Non-title of course. Del Rio is very excited over what he did to RVD on Raw and he easily weathers an early Truth attack, only to miss a charge into the post. Truth’s suplex into a Stunner gets two but the ax kick misses, allowing Del Rio to hit the low superkick for the pin at 1:33.

Post match Del Rio goes after Truth even more until RVD makes the save and holds up the title.

In the back Vickie and HHH make the match with Del Rio vs. RVD a hardcore match. HHH’s name for the match: the Battleground Hardcore Rules match. Somehow, that might be more creative than the writing staff.

The Prime Time Players teach some stagehands the Millions of Dollars dance.

Prime Time Players vs. Real Americans

Swagger and Titus get things going with O’Neil kicking both Americans down like they’re not even there. Swagger comes back by taking out the leg before the Americans start some rapid tags. Jack drives Titus into the corner for some shoulders to the ribs before it’s back to Cesaro to stomp him down. Here’s the giant swing on O’Neil for a ridiculous 27 seconds. It’s one thing on a small guy like Santino but to do 22 revolutions on a guy 6’4 and over 260lbs is INSANE. Again, why in the world is Cesaro in this tag team and not fighting for world titles?

Cesaro is too dizzy to stop a tag though and Young starts cleaning house. Cesaro comes right back with a spinning Rock Bottom for two as everything breaks down. Darren gets a rollup for two on Antonio but Swagger gets in a blind tag. Young hits the Gut Check on Cesaro but Swagger comes back in with the Patriot Lock for the submission from Young at 3:45.

Rating: C. Any match with nearly 30 seconds of Titus O’Neil being swung around in a circle makes me it at least passable. The Players are a fine midcard team and Cesaro is awesome but Swagger is just there. He’s such damaged goods at this point that he’s dragging down anyone he works with. Heaven forbid we change anything about him though right? That would just be lunacy.

Bray Wyatt vs. Zack Ryder

Harper and Rowan throw Ryder into the ring but don’t do anything to him other than that. Zack fires off some right hands so Bray just runs him over and drives in shots to Ryder’s back. We actually get a chinlock from Wyatt but Ryder fights up and hits his usual stuff. The Rough Ryder is countered with Ryder being LAUNCHED into the air, followed by Sister Abigail’s Kiss getting the pin at 2:21.

US Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler

Kofi and RVD flank Ziggler for protection. Just get to the DQ and six man tag already. Dean takes over with a headbutt and rakes Ziggy’s eyes over the top rope. An elbow drop gets a quick one for the champion but Dolph comes back with punches in the corner and a dropkick. A Cactus Clothesline puts both guys on the floor, triggering a brawl for the DQ at 2:01.

HHH makes the six man.

Shield vs. Dolph Ziggler/Kofi Kingston/Rob Van Dam

The bell rings and we take a break literally a second later. Back with Van Dam firing off kicks to Rollins before driving shoulders in the corner. Rolling Thunder gets two but Rollins gets in a shot to Rob’s bad arm to take over. Off to Dean to crank on the arm but Rob comes back with a spin kick to the face to bring in Ziggler. Dolph snaps off a dropkick and drops five elbows instead of ten. Ambrose pops up and counters the jumping DDT into a snap spinebuster to give Shield control again.

Off to Reigns for a hard clothesline for two before bringing Dean back in to work on the ribs. Reigns comes back in and slams Dolph face first into the mat in a move so simple that it’s awesome. Something like a gutwrench slam has Ziggler in even more trouble but he comes back with a dropkick to put both guys down. Rollins breaks up another hot tag attempt but gets backdropped down, allowing for the real hot tag to Kofi.

Kingston speeds things up and hits the Boom Drop on Ambrose followed by the spinning cross body for two. Ziggler hits the Fameasser on Rollins but gets speared down by Reigns. Rob kicks Reigns down and clotheslines him to the floor for a moonsault from the apron. Kofi hits a springboard clothesline on Ambrose and Trouble in Paradise to Reigns, only to have Rollins hit the running knee to the head to give Dean the pin at 8:13 shown of 11:43.

Rating: B-. Good match for the most part with a very hot finish. Shield certainly still has it for the six man stuff as they went nuts out there with the fast spots for the ending. It’s always more fun when you don’t know who is going to win a match and Shield is great at those false finishes with the last second saves.

Big Show says he can’t sleep at night and is a pariah in his own locker room. He starts crying again when HHH comes in and says maybe Show should just walk away. They really need to read up on what IRON CLAD means. HHH offers to help him find a job as a doorman or baggage handler since Big Show’s size makes him “special.” Big Show holds his fist up at HHH but doesn’t do anything past that.

Cameron vs. AJ Lee

Non-title. Tamina comes out with AJ due to every other Diva being against her (according to AJ in an inset promo). AJ takes Cameron into the corner before hooking a cravate about 30 seconds into the match. Cameron comes back with a quick rollup and a flying leg attack which was supposed to be a cross body for two. AJ sends her to the floor and shouts that Cameron is useless. Tamina takes out an interfering Naomi and the Shining Wizard knocks out Cameron for the pin at 2:41. Still no idea who I’m supposed to cheer for here but Cameron is worthless.

Here’s Heyman to show us a clip of him pinning Punk at the PPV. The fans have disappointed him because they’re surprised he pinned Punk. Heyman trade secret: Punk will lose every time the fans’ blood lust drives him to come after Paul. We look at the Heyman guys destroying Punk on Monday. Heyman thanks everyone for their help on Monday and that includes the fans for driving Punk to do it. Punk is crazy enough to want a match with Ryback at Battleground which will end up with Punk on his back and looking up at the best in the world.

Santino Marella vs. Heath Slater

Santino has Hornswoggle and Great Khali with him. Slater drops Santino with a single right hand to start and we hit the chinlock thirty seconds into the match. Santino comes back with his punches and hiptoss, only to have Slater knee him in the ribs to stop the comeback. As much of a comeback as you can have in the first minute of a match that is.

Slater gets crotched on the top and Santino loads up the Cobra….but Mahal plays a flute to hypnotize the sock. Khali plays a flute of his own to counter but McIntyre takes him down. The Cobra is about to attack Santino when Horny makes the save. Khali plays some more flute, allowing Santino to hit Slater with the Cobra for the pin at 2:58. I’ve watched wrestling for over 25 years and I can honestly say I’ve never seen anything like this.

Los Matadores arrive on Raw.

We recap the Rhodes Family troubles. Cody and Goldust (and presumably Dusty) accept an invitation to Raw on Monday.

The Miz vs. Randy Orton

Miz charges at Orton to start and fires off left hands in the corner. A clothesline sends Orton to the floor and he goes into the post for good measure. Back in and Miz pounds away even more before kicking Orton in the face. The running corner clothesline only hits buckle though and Orton has a breather. Miz might have injured his shoulder and has to be looked at but says he can keep going. Orton immediately grabs the Elevated DDT and won’t let the doctor check on Miz again, drawing a DQ at 3:05. I’m not going to bother rating it due to a good chunk being spent on the medical check but this was more of an angle than a match.

Cue HHH to say that Orton isn’t getting out of it that easily so we’re restarting this as a No DQ match. Orton throws Miz over the announce table and then into the steps as he’s in psycho mode. Miz gets in a chair shot to the ribs but Orton gets in a shot of his own to take over again. Another Elevated DDT on the floor knocks Miz out cold but it’s the RKO for the pin at about 6:20 total.

Rating: C. Again this was more of an angle than a match. They’re doing a much better job at getting Orton over as a heel here though and that’s the important thing. Orton being all smug and holding the title isn’t going to get people to hate him but being a psycho that destroys people when they can’t defend themselves certainly will. Miz is a good choice for a sacrificial lamb.

Overall Rating: C. This was a story building show and there’s nothing wrong with that. The show flew by and never dragged, but there’s nothing on here you need to see. The good for business thing was a bit better tonight with HHH screwing over faces instead of heels like he did on Monday. Not a bad show but it was a supplement to Raw which is a bad choice for Smackdown.

Results

Alberto Del Rio b. R-Truth – Superkick

Real American b. Prime Time Players – Patriot Lock to Young

Bray Wyatt b. Zack Ryder – Sister Abigail’s Kiss

Dolph Ziggler b. Dean Ambrose via DQ when Shield interfered

Shield b. Rob Van Dam/Dolph Ziggler/Kofi Kingston – Ambrose pinned Kingston after a running knee to the head

AJ Lee b. Cameron – Shining Wizard

Santino Marella b. Heath Slater – Cobra

Randy Orton b. Miz – RKO

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 23, 2013
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

Things are getting interesting around here with the locker room starting to revolt against the HHH regime. The main story at the moment sees a group of ten guys standing up to the boss last week, setting the stage for a potential showdown between HHH and pretty much everyone else. This has the potential to be a very fun time for the WWE and Raw in particular. Let’s get to it.

We open with an in memory graphic of Angelo Savoldi, the world’s oldest professional wrestler, who died over the weekend at age 99.

We recap the events of Night of Champions as well as the Bryan/Armstrong segment resulting in Bryan being stripped of the title. Some of the locker room revolted, setting the stage for tonight.

The ten men who revolted (Prime Time Players, Usos, Zack Ryder, Kofi Kingston, R-Truth, Rob Van Dam, Dolph Ziggler and Justin Gabriel) are on the stage as HHH and Stephanie head to the ring. The bosses welcome us to the show before turning their attention to the guys on the stage. Shield is standing guard as usual. HHH thanks the guys for finally standing up for what they believe in. RVD says they were fighting for Daniel Bryan because HHH would have done the same thing to them had the roles been reversed.

HHH thinks they’re supposed to be fighting to be WWE Champion, not for the WWE Champion. The bosses ask why none of them are the face of the WWE, but HHH answers for them: it’s because of the Shield. Therefore, tonight it’s an elimination handicap match with Daniel Bryan joining the ten of them. Also there’s going to be an audience poll on the WWE App to determine who faces Orton here tonight: Truth, Ziggler or RVD.

Cole shows us how to install the WWE App because we’re not bright enough to do that ourselves.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston

Non-title of course. Del Rio shoulder blocks him down to start but Kofi comes back with the double leapfrog, only to be sent into the corner before he can hit the jumping back elbow. A running clothesline sends Del Rio to the floor and there’s a BIG flip dive (much more like a flip clothesline with Kofi landing on his feet) to take Alberto out. Back in and Alberto hits a hard kick to the head before taking it to the mat for a bit. Another kick to the head has Kofi in trouble but he dropkicks Alberto the floor, setting up the aborted suicide dive as we take a break.

Back with Del Rio kicking Kofi in the back for two and cranking on the arm. Apparently Kofi sent the arm into the post during the break. Del Rio gets caught on the middle rope but pulls Kingston down into the armbreaker on the ropes. Del Rio clotheslines Kofi down and goes up, only to jump into a dropkick which missed by nearly a foot. Some more dropkicks and the SOS are good for two on Alberto and the Boom Drop keeps the champion in trouble.

Trouble in Paradise is countered into a German suplex for two and a double stomp has Kofi down again. Kofi counters the armbreaker and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker into something Cole calls a DDT for two. Kingston misses a springboard cross body, landing on the bad arm. Del Rio sends it into the post, hits a Codebreaker to the arm and the armbreaker gets the tap at 14:03.

Rating: C+. Nice match here as Kofi is continually good for a solid performance against anyone you put him against. Getting wins like this will only help Del Rio get his credibility back but he’s too far gone to be saved now. It’s nice to see the WHC get some exposure like this though so not much to complain about here.

Miz is about to talk about Orton’s attack last week when HHH comes in. He laughs about Miz being hurt last week so tonight it’s MizTV with Big Show as guest.

We recap the Rhodes’ family troubles over the last few weeks.

Wyatt Family vs. Prime Time Players

You could have known that the Wyatts were in action tonight had you downloaded the WWE App. Or you could have just watched the show and found out like everyone else. The Players get a jobber entrance and the squashing begins early. Harper pounds on Young to start before bringing in Rowan, who is still wearing the mask. A hard slam leads to the mask being revealed as Young is destroyed even more.

A backbreaker from Rowan and it’s back to harper who stops Young’s comeback attempt. There go the lights for some reason but it appears to be an electrical glitch as they’re back a few seconds later. Darren kicks Luke away and makes the tag off to Titus to clean house. Darren hits a Cactus Clothesline to take Rowan to the floor but Harper catches Titus with the discus lariat for the pin at 4:26.

Rating: D+. Long squash here as the Players’ push appears to be in trouble. The Wyatts continue to be awesome with that discus lariat becoming quite the weapon. Introducing the Sister Abigail plot point for Bray was a nice recharge for the characters and hopefully they’ll add more to it soon.

Post match Bray hits Sister Abigail on Young.

Time for MizTV with Big Show. Miz is still favoring his arm after the Orton attack last week. He says he’d usually welcome us to the show but right now he’s banged up and ticked off. It’s a lot easier to put him down than to keep him down and payback is coming. Miz moves on to the Big Show/Dusty Rhodes segment from last week before bringing out the giant. Miz immediately asks Big Show how he could have done that last week before saying if Show didn’t, Shield would have destroyed Dusty instead.

HHH and Stephanie are trying to break Big Show because he’s the biggest guy in the locker room but now everyone is starting to step up. It’s time for Big Show to step up to that witch, so here’s Stephanie to her horrid music. She calls Miz’s statements slander but Miz isn’t scared. Stephanie talks about Miz’s failures and calls him a utility player. He’s good for all the promotional stuff but last week in his hometown, Miz failed his family, his friends and himself. Big Show is forced to knock Miz out before storming off.

Rob Van Dam wins the poll to face Orton in a landslide.

Randy Orton vs. Rob Van Dam

Orton takes him into the corner to start but has to bail to the floor to avoid a spin kick. Back in and RVD hits a kick in the corner to send Randy right back to the floor. Orton sends him face first into the apron as we take a quick break. Back with Orton getting two off a suplex and putting on a chinlock. RVD comes back with some kicks and Rolling Thunder for two. Orton charges into a boot and gets caught with the split legged moonsault, only to come back with the Elevated DDT.

The RKO is countered with a kick to the face and a rollup is good for two on Randy. The middle rope kick to the face puts Orton down but he’s back up before Rob can launch the Five Star. Instead it’s the cannonball to put Orton down but he pops up to crotch Rob in the corner. A kick to the head puts Rob on the floor and Orton sends Rob into various objects until it’s a double countout at 10:45.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t bad but it was all to set up the post match stuff. Rob was looking good out there and Orton was his usual solid self. They actually had some chemistry together and the match was pretty entertaining as a result. A double countout wasn’t necessary as Van Dam might be leaving soon, but at least Orton didn’t lose.

Orton keeps up the attack and destroys Van Dam even more, sending him into the barricade, steps and announce table before taking Rob’s unconscious body back inside. A top rope Elevated DDT knocks Rob silly, possibly to write him off TV since his 90 day deal is coming up soon. Appropriately enough, Orton put Van Dam out in 2007 for Rob’s first exit.

Los Matadores are here next week!

The announcers show Del Rio attacking RVD during the break on the WWE App. He put Rob in the armbreaker for a few seconds but was pulled off by referees.

Randy Orton comes up to the Bellas to offer himself as a replacement man once he takes out Daniel Bryan. Brie turns him down and Orton talks some more trash.

We get some clips from HHH and Stephanie’s wedding as an ad for the new HHH DVD. Stephanie is watching in the back when AJ comes in to see her. Stephanie gives AJ a copy of the new DVD to show her what a real wedding looks like. AJ wants the Total Divas to go away like the reality show so Stephanie glares at her. Stephanie threatens to strip AJ of the title if she doesn’t fight tonight. Again, who am I supposed to cheer for in AJ vs. Total Divas? It’s never been made clear.

Santino Marella vs. Fandango

Naturally we start with dancing until Fandango takes him down and stomps away. Santino hurts his head trying to nip up and it’s off to a body scissors. The fans chant overrated which Cole says is actually Summer Rae. Back up for an abdominal stretch but Santino hip tosses out and starts his usual offense. A Summer distraction lets Fandango suplex Santino down and the guillotine legdrop gets the pin at 3:50.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing of note but we got to look at Summer in a very revealing outfit and the comedy goof gets pinned. What more can you ask for in less than four minutes? Fandango’s push coming back would be fine but he doesn’t really have anything to go after given how all the champions are heels.

Here’s Punk, clad in a Chicago Blackhawks jersey, for the first time since Night of Champions. During the entrance we’re told it’s Punk vs. Ryback at Battleground. Punk is annoyed at the audience for ruining his bad mood because he hasn’t smiled in eight days. He tried to get the Stanley Cup here tonight but he couldn’t quite get it. It feels like he let everyone down just like he did in Detroit last weekend. It’s going to read in Gray’s Sports Almanac that Paul Heyman beat him.

Punk isn’t smart enough to stay down a lot of the time but maybe he can’t do this anymore. Maybe he doesn’t deserve to wear this jersey anymore or to wrestle in front of the best crowd in the world or to say he’s from Chicago anymore. Then he comes out here and remembers being down 3-1 against the Detroit Redwings and coming back to win the series in seven games. That’s the Chicago way: if you get beaten you come back and keep fighting. Punk wants to fight anyone right now but here’s Heyman on a motorized scooter, singing what sounds like a Frank Sinatra song.

Heyman does his catchphrases but the fans finish it off for him in a funny bit. Punk threatens Heyman with an even worse beating than at Night of Champions because there are thousands of people here that will bail him out of jail. Heyman reminds us that he beat Punk but it’s due to geography. See, Chicago is the Second City while the first city is Heyman’s hometown: New York City.

We see a shot of Paul getting the pin at the PPV, triggering a walrus chant. Heyman says he may be a walrus, but he pinned the shark in Detroit. Punk wants to know if Heyman’s goons can get to him before Punk gets to Heyman, because he only needs two seconds to rip Heyman’s face off. Paul says he beat Punk with both hands tied behind his back and goes to leave but the scooter doesn’t work.

Punk goes after him but Ryback and Axel save their boss just in time. Punk makes a comeback and sends Axel into the set before diving off the stage to take out Ryback. The numbers catch up to him though and Ryback rips off the Blackhawks jersey. Punk is thrown onto the equipment and onto the edge of a table for good measure. Heyman stands up and jumps off the ramp, revealing that it was of course a ruse. Ryback says this is what happens to bullies.

Total Divas vs. AJ Lee/Alicia Fox/Layla/Aksana

Nikki is back in the ring now. Punk is helped to the back during the entrances. Natalya and Alicia get things going and Fox has to escape the Sharpshooter after just a few seconds. A big boot in the corner gets two for Alicia and it’s off to the chinlock. Natalya goes after the leg and it’s off to Brie for some dropkicks. Off to AJ for some kicks, only to get caught in the Bella Buster for the pin at 1:55. Great, this feud gets to continue.

We get a montage of RKO’s from the Youtube channel. Thanks for adding in that Youtube detail. It really made the video that much better.

Shield says their backs are against the walls but that means they always win.

Here’s Bryan with something to say. He talks about the allegations of a fast count from last week but doesn’t think it holds up. Why would you need a fast count when the other person was out cold? Bryan doesn’t really care though because he’s taking back the title in two weeks at Battleground. There won’t be any fast counts or conspiracies. After Orton wakes up, the only thing he’ll be hearing is YES. Cue Shield for the attack but Cody Rhodes and Goldust jump the barricade to go after them, only to be dragged off by security.

Shield vs. Daniel Bryan/Usos/Prime Time Players/Zack Ryder/Kofi Kingston/Dolph Ziggler/Rob Van Dam/R-Truth/Justin Gabriel

Elimination rules here. Jimmy Uso starts against Rollins but it’s quickly off to Ziggler. Kofi and Rob are both here though very taped up. The fans are way behind Ziggler but Ambrose gets the tag to take over. Dean takes him into the corner to bring in Reigns for the power strikes. Back to Rollins for a kick to the chest but the now legal Ambrose gets dropkicked down. The tag brings in Van Dam but a quick shots to the ribs slows him down. Van Dam misses a charge into the post and the bulldog driver makes it 10-3 at 2:57.

Back with Kofi’s hold on Rollins being broken before it’s back to Ambrose to work on Kofi’s injured arm. Dean pounds away in the corner but Kofi flips out of a belly to back suplex. Ambrose goes right back to the bad shoulder to stop the hot tag though and the bulldog driver eliminates Kingston at 8:06 (all times total).

Titus comes in next to throw Ambrose around before it’s off to Reigns for the power showdown. Roman easily shoves him into the corner for some cheap shots from Rollins as Shield takes over again. This has been one sided so far. Titus gets away for a few moments but the spear takes him out at 9:44. Gabriel comes in and gets speared out 15 seconds later.

It’s Ryder in now with some more luck, including the knees to the face and the middle rope dropkick, but a spear takes Ryder out at 10:30. GREAT sequence there by Reigns. Bryan comes in with the kicks and clothesline to put Reigns down followed by the running dropkicks in the corner. Jimmy Uso hits a SWEET superkick and Jey’s superfly splash eliminates Reigns at 11:24. That’s the first time Reigns has been pinned in WWE.

Back from another break with Rollins dropping Young face first onto the buckle before it’s back to Ambrose for the dropkick against the ropes. To recap right now it’s Rollins/Ambrose vs. Young/Bryan/Ziggler/Usos/R-Truth. Rollins hooks a chinlock before bringing Dean back in, only to have Young score with a belly to belly. The northern lights suplex gets two for Darren but Ambrose escapes the Gut Check. A blind tag brings in Rollins for the top rope knee to eliminate Young at 17:16.

Back to Ziggler to a BIG ovation as he scores with a neckbreaker. Ziggler goes nuts but charges into a release Downward Spiral into the middle rope to give Dean two. Ziggler pops back up and hits a Zig Zag out of nowhere to make it 5-1 at 18:45. It’s Rollins vs. Ziggler/Usos/Truth/Bryan. Seth slams Ziggler down and puts on a chinlock but Ziggler comes back with a running DDT to put both guys down. The tag brings in Truth for the first time to clean what’s left of the house, getting two off the sitout gordbuster. Rollins comes back with a kick to the ribs and the running curbstomp for the elimination at 11:12.

It’s still 4-1 so Bryan sends one guy to each apron in a Shield-esque move. Everyone comes in at the same time for the big beatdown, but here’s Ambrose to brawl with Ziggler. The Usos superkick Reigns to the floor and hit BIG stereo dives to take the other Shield members out. Rollins jumps Bryan from behind and puts him on top, only to be shoved off for the flying headbutt. The running knee ends Rollins at 23:07 for the final pin.

Rating: B. Really fun match here with an amazing performance by Reigns in such a short amount of time. That’s the kind of thing that got Diesel over back in the day and it set up a good ending to the match here. Bryan gets to stand tall and everyone looked great out there. Can you ask for something better?

Overall Rating: B-. The wrestling wasn’t much for the most part, but the addition of a show long angle really helped things out here. The locker room revolting is a nice change of pace as you can only have Bryan vs. the world for so long. Other than that the Heyman vs. Punk segment worked really well for me and gives Punk more of a personal reason to want to take out Ryback. Good show this week and one of the better ones in awhile.

Results

Alberto Del Rio b. Kofi Kingston – Cross Armbreakerer

Wyatt Family b. Prime Time Players – Discus lariat to O’Neil

Randy Orton vs. Rob Van Dam went to a double countout

Fandango b. Santino Marella – Guillotine legdrop

Total Divas b. AJ Lee/Aksana/Layla/Alicia Fox – Bella Buster to Lee

Daniel Bryan/Usos/Prime Time Players/Justin Gabriel/R-Truth/Zack Ryder/Dolph Ziggler/Rob Van Dam/R-Truth b. Shield – Running knee to Rollins

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Anarchy Rulz 1999
Date: September 19, 1999
Location: Odeum Expo Center, Villa Park, Illinois
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Cyrus

And so it dies here. No not the company as they held onto life, if you want to call it that, for about another 16 months after this. Taz leaves here though, as WWF came with a huge sum of money about three weeks after ECW debuted on TNN. The Dudleys already left about two weeks earlier. Word has gotten out that Taz is leaving too, so don’t expect him to be incredibly over tonight. Other than that, there isn’t much on the card. Storm vs. Lynn should be fun though. Let’s get to it.

We see Masato Tanaka showing up. He’s the number one contender. I’m not sure but I think that was Dave Prazak doing the interview. Awesome’s manager shows up and doesn’t like Tanaka. He gets smacked.

Cyrus and Joey do the intro you would expect before we throw it to the theme song.

Lance Storm vs. Jerry Lynn

We start with this? Really? I guess part of anarchy is that we’re getting rid of the best match right off the bat for some reason. Dawn Marie’s dress is almost not even there. These are two of my favorites from ECW so I’ll be pleased with this more than likely. Jerry’s ribs are messed up because the Impact Players beat him up about a week before.

Lance Storm having his own personal chick is rather amusing. Crowd is pretty one sided to say the least. We have a nice technical piece to start. Did you expect anything else? The fans applaud which is always a good sign. ECW fans were fair if nothing else. I’ve always liked Joey’s mentioning of the referees. They work extremely hard and rarely get the credit that they deserve. Storm’s chops kind of suck.

There’s a bad delay right before it connects and it makes them look really weak. The fans get bored with the match and would like to see something from Dawn. Cyrus gets a nice line in by saying that Storm is a step ahead of Gene Kiniski who was billed as Canada’s Greatest Athlete: he’s CALGARY’S Greatest Athlete. That’s a great line and could be solid for a heel in a territorial promotion.

The referee yells at someone at ringside for a LONG time with his eyes totally away from the action. Nice one guys. Jerry hits a nice plancha from the top rope to the floor and down goes Storm. Having Cyrus as an analyst is a GREAT help. Joey is fun to listen to but there is simply too much to have one guy do. That’s not a knock on Styles. It’s too much for anyone. Having an analyst in there takes a ton of pressure off of Joey and it’s helping a lot.

Cradle piledriver is blocked. Again, can someone explain the difference to me? SWEET pinfall reversal sequence that goes on for nearly a minute straight. That’s VERY impressive and literally gets a standing ovation from the crowd. They go wide to show it and they well should. Amazing stuff as I knew it would be. Cyrus points out that he used to be a wrestler which is something that needs to be done more often.

TNA has been doing it more often lately as they point out that Taz used to be a wrestler. He’s been retired what, 9 years or so? A LOT of fans likely haven’t seen him wrestle. How long has it been for King? Point out to the fans that he actually has experience. Jerry is a former world champion as is Taz. Let the fans know that once in awhile. There’s a chair wedged in the corner that hasn’t been doing anything yet.

Lynn is thrown into the corner but slides to avoid the steel macguffin. He slams his ribs into the post though and Storm goes after it like a Hart-trained wrestler attempting to use basic psychology. Lynn hits a Stunner out of nowhere to get us back to even. I love when wrestlers just bust out random moves.

It makes no sense that so many guys only use their signature stuff. Use whatever comes to mind, at least in kayfabe terms. Storm hits a knee to the ribs and hooks a ¾ nelson of all things for the clean pin? That came out of NOWHERE. It’s fine to end it that way as it looked solid, but DANG was that random.

Rating: A-. I loved this and yes it’s biased. Even still though, this was very solid stuff. See what happens with simple psychology and good wrestling? It works very well indeed and you get a great match that I was way into. This worked and to be fair it’s probably because they’re two of my favorites in ECW.

Joey and Cyrus argue about “the office.”

Simon Diamond is here. He used to sleep with Dawn Marie so he’s awesome. He talks in the 3rd person but has none of Rock’s talent so there you go. He is looking for a partner and asks for Tom Marquez who graduated from the House of Hardcore. And that’s not good enough because Simon didn’t say it. There is no man here to fight Simon. And cue Jazz. Apparently he’s looking for a partner. Which is why he asked for someone to fight. Got it.

She’s a face at this point and is in no way shape or form a Chyna rip-off. Nope, not at all is she, the woman that looks tough and is overly muscular and fighting men a rip-off of Chyna. Not at all. Diamond runs his mouth off and yells at Marquez, the timekeeper tonight, to fight Jazz. Sure why not.

Jazz vs. Tom Marquez

Jazz gets beaten up for awhile and then hits a mat slam for a long two but a guy named Tony DeVito pulls the referee out. Yeah this wasn’t a match. 45 seconds at most.

Chris Chetti and Nova run out for the save and apparently THIS is a tag match now.

Chris Chetti/Nova vs. Tony DeVito/Simon Diamond

Apparently Nova is the most ripped off wrestler in the world as whatever he invents is on Monday night the next week. While that’s true to an extent, I’ll let it go and let Mr. Joey Pot and Cyrus Kettle, call this match. Wow that Jazz is BLACK. WOW that joke sucked. Anyway, you get the idea I think. DeVito goes for a Rock Bottom and botches the living tar out of it. And after about two minutes Danny Doring and Roadkill along with that redhead chick named Angelica run out for the DQ. Yes it’s Lita.

Rating: N/A. Two minutes of just boring stuff.

They hit Jazz with the Hart Attack. A ton of jobbers come out to stop Roadkill and it’s just a massive brawl. And now we get the point to all this: it’s New Jack. Oh why does he have to come back? I’m sure you know my thoughts on New Jack by now. One of the jobbers in there is the semi-famous Big Vito.

Staple gun to the head of some guy. And we do it again. Make it three times. I hate New Jack. I truly do. Nova and Chetti seem to like him though. Ok to be fair, the crowd is going nuts over this.

Tour ad.

Cyrus and Joey argue some more.

Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. Super Crazy vs. Little Guido

During the entrances, Joey says he’s more or less high on laryngitis medications. Ok then. Tajiri is in his traditional look now. Crowd seems to favor Crazy the best. They point out the three distinct styles here which is a nice touch. Well this is better than another combination them going one on one again I guess. Oh and Big Sal is now the Big Salbowski. Give me a break.

Yes I get that it’s an intentional parody, but if this was the other way around, ECW would be FREAKING over WWF taking another idea from them. When ECW does it, it’s a parody though. Yeah that’s annoying. The chant of Where’s My Pizza starts up. WOW those get annoying. It’s your basic spotfest to start: stupid but fun. Guido hooks a camel clutch on Crazy and Tajiri kicks the tar out of him. They set for it again and Tajiri kicks the heck out of Guido. Nice one.

Tajiri hits a picture perfect moonsault to the floor to take out both guys. It was of the Asai breed in case you were curious. Guido hits a second rope Fameasser which looked good. Not sure why but it did. Crazy one ups Tajiri by hitting a top rope Asai moonsault and lands ON HIS FEET. That was awesome looking. In a SICK spot, Tajiri goes for a sunset flip on Crazy but it’s blocked. Tajiri pulls himself back up, spins crazy around and hooks the Tarantula.

Guido throws in a great double foot to the face. That was one of the coolest things I’ve seen in a long time. Guido gets the Sicilian Crab at the same time Crazy gets a camel clutch. Tajiri was totally off the ground. Ton of sick spots in this match. That baseball slide dropkick in the Tree of Woe is always great. Crazy follows that up with a moonsault to put Guido out.

It’s elimination rules in case you didn’t get that so we’re down to Tajiri and Crazy. The ten punch count being in Spanish is always a nice touch. The handspring elbow hits for Tajiri. We get a Super Loco chant. When they get creative like that I can live with them. Tajiri blocks the triple moonsault and just goes off on Crazy. A SICK brainbuster ends it.

Rating: B-. This is an odd match. The spots were great and I liked them a lot, but I just could not get into the match as a whole if that makes sense. I think it’s because this has been done so many times now that there’s just no real reason to care about this match. It was fun, but there’s just nothing of substance to it. Nice spot fest though.

We throw it to Steve Corino who says they were going to bring in the Insane Clown Posse to fight Raven and Dreamer tonight. And they’re not here. Corino was the manager apparently and brought them in. Instead Raven and Dreamer get Rhino and Corino. Ok then.

Billy Corgin is here.

They rant about WCW or something or other for awhile.

Justin Credible vs. Sabu

Does anyone else find it stupid that ECW says Sabu is genocidal? That’s just a bit of overkill. Sabu was banned for no apparent reason. Justin has a restraining order. Sacre bleu. What a waste of my time. Yes I quoted Smart Guy of all things. The referee says it’s a legal document, but there is no law tonight since Anarchy Rulz. Justin drills the announcer for saying it and the lights go out. Let’s get to it.

Apparently the Impact Players got him banned for being too violent. Fonzie gets a table for Sabu. Justin gets a Russian leg sweep on the ramp which looked good. I’d expect that’s the only wrestling move for awhile. Sabu goes through a table for some reason. Did anyone care about Credible? I don’t really think so. We get a vague Kliq reference which Justin was a part of in the back.

Sabu hits a big spot and Joey calls it indescribable just before he, say it with me, DESCRIBES IT. A bunch of overblown table spots follow. I don’t care either. So since Justin is having his head handed to him, I’m more or less counting down the time until the SHOCKING yes SHOCKING I SAY comeback that gives Justin the win. Cyrus finds Fonzie annoying. That’s very amusing. Justin is bleeding fairly badly.

A kendo stick shot gets two but Sabu has his foot on the ropes. Ok, so legally binding documents aren’t legal, but the ropes are. Got it. That’s Incredible gets two. Fonzie slides in a chair but it hits Sabu in the head. Nice one. BAD looking tombstone (That’s Incredible) on the chair ends it.

Rating: D-. The only word that came to my mind here was meh. I just totally did not care here for a few reasons. One, it’s Justin Credible. Two, you bring Sabu back to have him job? What sense does that make? The match was so sloppy and just bad. Didn’t like this at all, mainly due to the idiotic booking as Heyman continues to insist that Justin is some ring god.

ECW World Title: Masato Tanaka vs. Taz

No intro or anything. Joey just says it’s time for our world title match. The fans throw a TON of stuff into the ring because of Taz. He sold out apparently. No. Heyman screwed up the booking of him because no one cared about him as a face after he whined for a year and Shane Douglas wouldn’t drop the title like he should have. I still say that had as much to do with killing ECW as anything did.

That and not putting the belt on RVD about 5 months before this. Mike Awesome is in the crowd and Taz says send him in there too. Heyman comes out and holds Awesome back. I love how the fans go from YOU SOLD OUT to yelling his catchphrase with him inside of a minute. Remember that officially Taz hasn’t been announced as leaving yet but it’s the worst kept secret in wrestling. Heyman makes it a threeway.

So yeah add Mike Awesome to the title because I’m lazy. Oh and Awesome is in wrestling gear in the crowd. I’m shocked too. They double team him and that doesn’t work at all. Tanaka takes an Awesome Bomb. And then the Roaring Elbow and Awesome Splash puts Taz out in about two minutes. There you go then.

The locker room empties so that everyone can say goodbye to Taz. Yeah this was a total secret right? Awesome hits a sweet Tope (Taker Dive) to the floor to take Tanaka down. This is your standard solid match with these two. Naturally chairs and tables are brought into play but you have to expect that in ECW. Tanaka hits a Tornado DDT on a chair for two.

And Tanaka gets powerbombed over the top to the floor through a table. Top rope splash follows that for two. Ok then. Tanaka no sells three LOUD chair shots and this Diamond Dust which is an awesome move. It’s table time again with Awesome in control again. Awesome hits a top rope powerbomb for the pin. Yeah that works but a chair shot to the head from the top doesn’t? Taz hands him the belt after the match. The roster says goodbye to Taz as no one cares about Axl Rotten. The fans loving Taz now is kind of stupid. Taz tells them to chant for Awesome. Nice touch there.

Rating: B. Usual good stuff here from these two, but at times the no selling gets annoying as all goodness. Still though, this was a shock to some people and it was a nice touch throwing Awesome in there as people knew Taz was losing, so here we didn’t know who was leaving with the belt. This was good.

Raven is hanging out by a swing and runs down the majority of the feud between him and Dreamer. The “It’s Tommy’s” line gets me every time. And no, I’m not running down that whole feud. The thing was excellent though. Raven and Dreamer are tag champions at the moment. Raven says he let Dreamer beat him that night. This is the Raven that everyone loved and he was awesome. He quotes Keyser Soze. How awesome is that?

Gertner comes out to interrupt the announcer and the crowd pops. And here are Francine and Dreamer. Man in the Box is always awesome so I can’t complain. To get it over with, the Dudleys were leaving and Dreamer stood up to them. Raven ran in to be his partner and they won the tag titles. They hate each other though and Dreamer is hurt badly so Raven is making him wrestle until he’s crippled.

Simple in a way I guess. Dreamer says he won’t be cutting a babyface promo. And cue the babyface promo. He’s going to wrestle no matter what the doctors say. And here’s Corino so I’d bet we’re getting a tag title match. Ok never mind as it’s a singles match with Rhino. Pay no attention to the fact that they said there would be a tag title match later tonight with these three and Raven which is inevitable. Yeah I’m not even counting this as a match because Raven is just killing time before he gets here. They’re just wasting time and HERE’S Raven.

Tag Titles: Raven/Tommy Dreamer vs. Steve Corino/Rhino

Jack Victory, the sidekick of Corino and Rhino comes in to help and a double DDT ends this about 12 seconds after Raven gets there.

Rating: N/A. Can someone tell me when the match ended and when it started?

Mancow, some annoying DJ that had TWO WCW PPV matches comes out with some fat guys since we have a ton of time left. They do nothing other than high five Raven and leave. WOW.

Ad for November to Remember.

So with 35 minutes left in the tape there’s just RVD to go.

Axl Rotten comes out to talk. Seriously, why does this guy keep getting on PPV? He wants the shot at Awesome. Please come murder him. Instead it’s the Impact Players and a British guy named Johnny Smith. Apparently Smith vs. RVD is the main event. Rotten says the people are cheering for the women and not the talent.

Insert your Becca joke here. Balls Mahoney and Spike come in for the save and Dawn gets hit with an Acid Drop. Smith takes a BIG chair shot and leaves. So Balls gets the title shot instead. Oh dear.

ECW TV Title: Balls Mahoney vs. Rob Van Dam

And we have half an hour to go and this is the main event. Oh DANG this could be painful. So we have Lynn who is obsessed with beating Van Dam and we get….Balls Mahoney vs. RVD. And people wonder why this company died. So Van Dam walks around for a few minutes to kill time. Wouldn’t a five minute match be a better use of time?

Oh that’s right: that army of jobbers had to be beaten up by New Jack instead of having a quick match. So with 25 minutes to go, NO ONE buys Mahoney having a prayer here. Seriously, they’re just blatantly wasting time now. I can’t get over Balls Mahoney main eventing a PPV. Seriously, no one cares about this match at all. All I’m doing is watching the clock on the player to wait until this is over.

Are those punches Balls throws supposed to be impressive or something? Van Dam hits a nice dive from the top into the crowd. And that ends anything interesting in this match. Seriously, the rest is more or less nothing but punches, kicks, chair shots and Balls doing moves he botches. This got TWENTY MINUTES.

Yeah I skipped a lot of the details here, but other than managing to kill an ECW crowd in a town like Chicago, this is the least interesting main event I can ever remember. Just terrible. A video package of the show fills in the final three minutes of the show.

Rating: F. Balls Mahoney main evented a PPV. That should be a meme somewhere for EPIC FAIL.

Overall Rating: D+. This wasn’t completely terrible. There are some good matches here, but good night the stuff that sucked was sucking hard. The opener and world title match were both very solid but the rest is completely forgettable. The three way cruiserweight match was fine for what it was but it’s been done WAY too much for me to care again. Not completely terrible, but nothing worth seeing. Storm and Lynn and the title match are good though.

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I took in the WWE house show tonight at Rupp Arena in Lexington, Kentucky. I know I said this about the TNA show I went to over the summer, but this might have been the most fun I’ve ever had at a wrestling event. The crowd was red hot all night and the matches were all at least decent. There was even a nice surprise that I’ll get to in a bit. Let’s get to it.

The tickets didn’t cost anything as I beat a wrestling expert on the local radio station in a trivia competition to win the seats. We were in the second row on the first level above the floor seats, which is where I’ve sat many times before. The view was great and you could easily see almost everything save for some brawling on the floor or in the aisle. I’m horrible at guessing attendances but I’d guess there were a few thousand people. The entire upper deck was empty but Rupp arena holds well over 20,000 people so a packed house was out of the question. As usual the empty sections started filling up as the show went on.

Also note that I’ll be lighter on the ratings tonight as this is a house show, not a major show.

Damien Sandow vs. Zack Ryder

In possibly the biggest shock, Zack Ryder might have actually received the ovation of the night. I mean the place exploded for him and didn’t stop cheering for him for nearly half of his match. It was like 2011 all over again and it was a very nice surprise for an old Ryder fan. Before the match Sandow asked up to stand for My Old Kentucky Home (state song) but said we weren’t worthy of it. He also promised to drive 65 miles to Louisville to be with a real basketball team before trying to start a Let’s Go Cards (hated enemy of the Kentucky Wildcats who play at Rupp) chant. He also said God bless Rick Pitino (Cardinals coach) to really tick them off.

The match was what you would expect, though there was some nice psychology included. Ryder missed a charge and got his arm tied up in the ropes. Sandow spent the majority of the match working over the arm which is such a basic move but so many wrestlers just miss it anymore. Ryder hit the Broski Boot and sent Sandow face first into the buckle, setting up the Rough Ryder for the pin in about 6:00.

Rating: C. Fine opener and the crowd is very hot tonight.

The fans voted for the Divas tag to be a dance off instead of a match.

AJ/Layla vs. Funkadactyls

Didn’t Layla turn her back on AJ recently? Anyway AJ got a high pitched pop before refusing to dance. Layla did the usual comedic dancing before slipping while going to the corners. The Dactyls did their usual routine but AJ/Layla jumped them to start a match. I sat through this entire thing and absolutely nothing happened that deserved to be written down. Horrible boring stuff and the fans didn’t care at all. Cameron pinned Layla after about 7:30 with a not horrible DDT.

Rating: D-.

The Dactyls danced afterwards.

Jack Swagger vs. Sami Zayn

Since this is an ultra conservative state, Swagger was relatively over. Zayn was the one guy I was hoping would be here who wasn’t advertised, though he came out to crickets. Remember that for later. This wasn’t as good as their NXT match but it was still one of the better matches of the night. A few fans behind us chanted OLE which seemed to confuse many fans around us. Colter wasn’t there either as was recently announced.

This was a nice match with Swagger controlling for the most part. Sami came back with his high spots, including a big flip dive over the ropes to take out Swagger. Sami’s top rope cross body looked great too. He tried a second one but got caught in the second Patriot Lock of the match, only to roll Swagger up for the pin at about 10:00. The important thing to note was that while Sami came out to crickets, he had the crowd invested in the match after just a few minutes. Zayn made them care about someone they didn’t care about, which is really difficult to do. That’s a good sign for his future.

Rating: B-. This was really fun stuff.

Kofi Kingston/Usos vs. Wyatt Family

The Wyatts was the advertised appearance I was looking forward to most. First of all though, the Usos’ entrance got a HUGE reaction. They always get a solid reaction on TV as well, which makes me hope that they get a stronger push soon. The Wyatt entrance got a nice reaction too and the reports are correct: they’re just chilling in person. Bray sat in his rocking chair while the other two were in the ring when the lights came on. I’ve seen Undertaker, Kane and Big Show in person but those two were even more imposing. Rowan, the one with the mask, stood perfectly still during the pre-match staredown and stayed there until the opening bell. It worked really well.

Bray stayed on the floor at first before bolting into the ring to beat down an Uso, revealing some bright red pants that you have be a brain washing swamp preacher to pull off. Bray is downright eerie in person, walking around the apron with this psychotic look on his face. They worked a regular formula match here with I think an Uso getting beaten down for the most part. You just couldn’t take your eyes off Bray though as he was so creepy. The big spot of the match was a triple suicide dive from the good guys.

It was quickly forgotten though as Bray came back in and did the spot where he leans over backwards in the corner, only to drop to his hands to do the upside down on all fours walk from the Exorcist. JBL freaking out when he sees that on TV will be quite a sight. Anyway Kofi got the hot tag and everything broke down with Kofi hitting Trouble in Paradise on Harper, only to get caught with Sister Abigail for the pin at about 12:00.

Rating: B. REALLY fun match here with the Wyatts, Bray in particular, totally stealing the show.

World Heavyweight Championship: Alberto Del Rio vs. Rob Van Dam

There wasn’t much to talk about here. Alberto worked on the arm, Rob came back with kicks. Del Rio went after the arm and got the armbreaker, only to not break when Van Dam got to the ropes for the DQ, just like at the PPV. Match ran just under 10:00 and was nothing special at all. Not bad, but these two have don’t have much chemistry.

Rating: C-.

Rob got up and kicked Del Rio down, drawing out Sandow to tease a cash-in, only to be kicked in the face by Van Dam. Van Dam went around shaking hands as we went to intermission.

Ryback vs. Santino Marella

Now we get to the comedy portion of the evening. Ryback insisted that the referee hold the ropes open for him, only to say those weren’t the ropes he meant and that the referee had to open the other set. Ryback was then introduced at 305lbs, which he insisted be described as ALL MAN. Santino was ticked off about the bullying and said Ryback was just a bully, just a mean person and….much bigger than he looked from the floor.

Santino tried a series of shoulder blocks to start the match but kept bouncing off Ryback and falling to the mat. He hit the ropes again but stopped short of Ryback, said “allow me” and fell on his back without being touched. Santino couldn’t execute a nip up or slam Ryback, so the big man destroyed him for a bit instead. Santino came back and hit the nip up and slam to big pops because they had been built up. Again, simple idea but no one does it anymore. Santino loaded up the Cobra but Ryback bit his fingers to block it and put on a bearhug, only to have Santino escape with a wet Willy. The Shell Shock ended Marella in 7:40.

Rating: C+. Fun comedy squash here and there’s nothing wrong with that.

CM Punk vs. Curtis Axel

This was kind of confusing as the match had been advertised as for the title, then as No DQ later in the show. Axel said that Heyman (not here tonight) had found a rule saying that Axel didn’t have to defend the title if he had defended it in the last 30 days, so this was non-title. Axel also said there would be DQ’s, because apparently he just has that authority.

There really wasn’t much to this match and it was mainly punching and kicking. Punk did his usual spots, including the dive through the ropes and the Macho Elbow, but there were no weapons at all in the match. At one point Axel even grabbed a mic and said he wouldn’t be using a table so stop asking for one. Punk won with a GTS in approximately 15:00 (I forgot to time it). Not much of a match but the fans were into Punk.

Rating: C. I’m guessing Punk is moving a bit slowly due to the injuries from the PPV.

Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton

Now this is where we’ll get to the interesting part. Orton got a solid pop but Bryan…got the same at best or maybe even a bit weaker one. The fans got on their feet and did the YES chant and the finger point, but it definitely wasn’t an explosion or even a huge pop. My buddy Josh suggested that a lot of the fans aren’t so much into Bryan, but maybe just joining in because everyone else is doing it. I read a report from I want to say Wade Keller from a Smackdown taping a few weeks back and he said about the same thing: the fans cheered for Bryan, but he doesn’t get the same reaction that other superstars get. There’s time to change that, but it’s very difficult to overcome.

This was about what you would expect as Bryan got in all of his usual spots. Bryan is incredibly talented, but he’s getting to the point where he’s using a lot of the same sequences. Those sequences are very entertaining, but other than the running knee he hasn’t changed things up in awhile.

The interesting part of this was Orton might have lost a tooth due to a running dropkick in the corner. Something very large flew out and Orton was holding his mouth and nearly writhing around in pain. Bryan got the YES Lock but Orton got to the rope. Bryan missed a dive to give Orton control, meaning a lot of chinlocks. Bryan made his comeback and hit his signature spots before hitting the running knee out of nowhere for the pin at 16:50. I don’t even think Orton loaded up an RKO.

Rating: B-. Good match but it wasn’t great by any means.

Bryan went around to shake hands to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. This show was a blast with only the Divas match being bad, but if the worst thing I have to sit through is Layla basically wrestling in a bikini, so be it. The fans were on fire all night, most of the big stars were there, and the matches were all solid. I believe the seats we were sitting in cost about $20-30 and they would have been more than worth the price. I was at the show in Louisville a few months back and wasn’t very impressed. This was the polar opposite and one of the most entertaining shows I’ve ever been to. WWE is on fire at the moment and at a level I haven’t seen in a long time. Great show.

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Sorry for the delay as I was at a WWE house show.  Report coming.

Smackdown
Date: September 20, 2013
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re past Night of Chapions and the main story is that there’s no WWE Champion. Bryan won the title on Sunday but has been stripped of it due to an alleged conspiracy between he and now fired referee Scott Armstrong. On Raw however, the roster finally came together to fight back against HHH and the Corporation, giving us an interesting battle for the first time since this began, which was somehow just over a month ago. Let’s get to it.

We open with a look back at Night of Champions and Raw, set up through an interview with HHH. He compares the scandal with Armstrong to Pete Rose hypothetically conspiring with an umpire to fix the World Series.

Here’s Vickie to open things up. She says she has a thrilling and exciting show planned for us tonight, but first she has to introduce the laughing stock of the WWE. Bob Backlund held the WWE Championship for over 2,000 days, but this man held it for less than a day: Daniel Bryan. Daniel says he’d rather be champion for one day than being a shrill corporate suck-up for his entire life. Vickie gives him an opportunity to come clean but Bryan says the truth is he kneed Orton in the face for three. It could have been a twenty count because Orton was out cold.

Bryan says he should still be champion but Vickie says he should be fired. Daniel says everyone is grateful that Vickie has no real power, but Vickie would rather talk about the people that got involved at the end of the night. Those people would be Ziggler, the Usos, R-Truth, Justin Gabriel, Zack Ryder, the Prime Time Players, Kofi Kingston and Rob Van Dam. Tonight it’s going to be an 11-3 handicap gauntlet match. The idea is all eleven of them will come down to face the Shield 3-1 until Shield has defeated them all. Bryan is lucky enough to go last.

Naomi vs. AJ

Non-title. Natalya is on commentary and talks about how AJ is riding the coattails of the Total Divas who have revolutionized the division. AJ easily takes Naomi down and hooks a cravate as Natalya calls AJ an opportunist for how she kept the title on Sunday. A running back elbow gets two for the champion, though Natalya is FAR more entertaining, trying to make the Total Divas sound like good people. Naomi comes back with a dropkick and the Rear View for two. AJ’s sleeper is quickly broken up but she grabs the Black Widow for the submission at 3:25.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing but this story is ranging anywhere from so bad it’s hilarious to horrible depending on how you look at it. The problem is the whole angle hinges on no one ever watching Total Divas, because there’s no way to cheer for any of its cast, but AJ is being presented as a stuck up villain who lords her title over everyone in sight.

Jack Swagger vs. Santino Marella

Colter tells Santino to take the ravioli out of his ears and asks if he has the proper papers to own a reptile. During Santino’s entrance, JBL and Cole hype up Billy Gunn as the guests on their show by saying Road Dogg’s catchphrases. Swagger throws Santino down and shouts at him a lot before hooking a double armbar. Santino comes back with his usual sequence before hooking a backslide to pin Swagger at 2:02. When I’m feeling sorry for Jack Swagger, it’s a bad sign.

Ryback vs. Nick Nardone

Nardone is OVW Champion Jamin Olivencia. Before the match, Heyman talks about Punk giving him all he could handle at Night of Champions, but only one of them could come out on top. Ryback says Heyman doesn’t deserve to be picked on by a bully like Punk, so he’s going to treat Nick like he’ll treat Punk. It’s a fifty second match with the Meat Hook and Shell Shock ending Nardone, as you would expect.

Here’s Orton with something to say. He talks about Bryan and Armstrong taking the title from him at Night of Champions, but that was 100% his own fault. He never should have been in that position but he’s spent two years repressing who he really is for the fans. Orton locked away the Viper because that’s what everyone wanted. But then Monday night on Raw, HHH and Stephanie showed Orton what he really should be. We get a clip of the attack on Miz from Raw, which Orton calls a warning to anyone who gets in his path. At Battleground, he’s going to end the war with Daniel Bryan and be his own WWE Champion.

Shield vs. Usos/Prime Time Players/Justin Gabriel/Zack Ryder/Kofi Kingston/Rob Van Dam/Dolph Ziggler/Daniel Bryan/R-Truth

It’s 3-1, one man at a time, no tagging. Darren Young is first and it goes exactly as you would expect with Reigns getting the pin via the spear in 41 seconds. Titus O’Neil is in next and has a bit better luck by throwing the smaller guys around a bit. Reigns runs him down though and the big beatdown is on. Rollins grabs a guillotine with a body vice and the beating continues. The TripleBomb ends O’Neil at 1:57 (all times total).

Dolph Ziggler is in third but he charges in like a nitwit too. Ziggler speeds things up as fast as he can but Rollins and Dean finally get him to the ground. Reigns gets to take his shots including a headbutt. Ambrose takes too much time talking though and Dolph gets in some solid offense, low bridging Reigns to the floor and hitting the Fameasser on Seth. A Cactus Clothesline puts Ziggler and Ambrose on the floor for a second but Rollins knees Ziggler to the floor. Reigns spears Ziggler down and he can’t beat the count at 5:39.

Here’s Kofi Kingston to try his luck but Rollins comes to meet him in the aisle for some reason, allowing Kofi to snap the other twos’ necks across the top rope. A quick Trouble in Paradise gets a near fall on Reigns but the numbers catch up to Kofi. The bulldog driver gets rid of Kingston at 7:13. Rob Van Dam is in next and Reigns is still down.

A banged up Rollins and Ambrose jump Van Dam but he kicks both guys down as things speed up. Ambrose is monkey flipped down and Reigns is kicked back down to the floor. Rolling Thunder hits both Rollins and Ambrose at the same time and Van Dam loads up the Five Star on Dean….as HHH comes out to call the match off at about 9:00.

Rating: C. The non-finish hurt this a lot because I was starting to get into it at the end. The idea of Shield fighting off everyone at once but slowly getting beaten down made sense and felt like something out of a video game. It was really doing a good job at building drama to seeing how far anyone could get without getting beaten but the ending stopped it cold.

Post break HHH yells at Vickie, asking what in the world she was thinking. After what Vickie did tonight, ten more of them would revolt next time, then ten more until we had a full scale revolt. Vickie says it was good for business, but tonight needs to be about fair competition. HHH demands Vickie to make the Usos/Daniel Bryan vs. the Shield, therefore again making Bryan the focus of the show after saying for weeks that there was no way we could have Bryan as the focus of the show.

The Raw ReBound covers the Dusty Rhodes story.

Ryder and Gabriel come in to see HHH and he gives them a match for no apparent reason.

Zack Ryder/Justin Gabriel vs. Wyatt Family

Harper gives Ryder a freaky look to start but Zack fires off a forearm in the corner. A big boot takes Ryder down for two as everything breaks down. Gabriel is sent to the floor and Harper hits a buckle bomb on Ryder followed by the discus lariat (JBL: “GOOD GOD!”) for the pin at 1:12.

Bray hits Sister Abigail on Ryder post match and talks about keeping his promises.

RVD has a banged up elbow but HHH comes in and gives him a world title match against Del Rio at Battleground. HHH leaves and Del Rio comes in to beat RVD down, including the low superkick. Cole thinks it’s odd that Del Rio was right there at that given time.

R-Truth vs. Alberto Del Rio

Non-title again. Truth pounds away in the corner to start and gets two off a suplex. The ax kick misses though and Del Rio hits a quick Backstabber for two. Off to a reverse chinlock but Truth comes back with some kicks to the ribs. The front suplex is good for two but Alberto hits the corner enziguri for the same result. Truth rolls out of the armbreaker and hits the ax kick for two, only to be caught with the low superkick and the armbreaker for the submission at 3:34.

Rating: D+. This was about what you would expect out of these two. Truth is a jobber to the stars anymore but at least we don’t have to put up with his matches being set up by dancing anymore. Del Rio still has nothing to his character other than being from Mexico as the money has been phased out, keeping him as average of a heel as you can be.

Shield vs. Usos/Daniel Bryan

Bryan starts by firing off kicks in the corner to Rollins’ chest before dropping a knee for two. Rollins tries the jumping knee but gets caught in the surfboard instead. With the hold still mostly on it’s Jey in off the tag with a clothesline, only to get caught in the Shield corner and punched by Ambrose. Jey comes back with a backdrop and brings in his brother who gets two off a clothesline.

Off to a hammerlock but Dean fights into the corner, only to have Jey come back in with a big chop for two. The Usos drop a double elbow for two but Jey is driven into the Shield corner again for the tag off to Reigns for some stomping. Jey stays out of trouble by pulling Roman into the corner for the tag off to Bryan. Kicking abounds until Reigns takes Daniel down with an elbow to the jaw and a tag off to rollins for a chinlock. That goes nowhere as Daniel jawbreaks his way out and tags in Jimmy.

Jimmy does about as well as a career tag team wrestler fighting off three guys who have been defeating main eventers for over a year now as we take a break. Back with Jimmy fighting out of a Rollins chinlock and making the hot tag off to Jey. A few rooms of the house are cleaned but Rollins enziguris him down, allowing for the real heat segment to begin.

Dean hits a running dropkick against the ropes and holds Jey in place for a slingshot hilo, giving Rollins two. Back to Reigns for a jumping elbow drop for two and we hit the chinlock. A huge clothesline gets two for Roman and it’s right back to the chinlock. Jey fights up again and fires off right hands all around followed by a Bubba Bomb on Rollins. The hot tag brings in Bryan for the real house cleaning by knocking Reigns and Rollins to the floor.

Two running corner dropkicks set up a hurricanrana to Dean for two. Jimmy dives over the top to take out Reigns and Jey does the same to Rollins. Dean clotheslines Bryan down but gets caught in the YES Lock, right in front of the ropes. Jey superkicks Ambrose into the running knee from Bryan at 14:00 shown of 17:00.

Rating: B. This was the same thing that you’ve grown to expect from every Shield match: great action, a bunch of saved near falls and a hot finish. On top of that the Shield doesn’t lose anything here given that they were coming in at a disadvantage. Good match here but did you really expect anything else?

Overall Rating: C+. This was a hard one to grade. The gauntlet match was really fun but it was pulled halfway through for some reason. A solid main event helps of course and we got some story development, but this show felt like it was over before it started. I’m not sure if that was a good thing as only the gauntlet match felt like anything special. Still though, fun show overall and a good use of two hours.

Results

AJ Lee b. Naomi – Black Widow

Santino Marella b. Jack Swagger – Backslide

Ryback b. Nick Nardone – Shell Shock

Shield vs. Usos/Prime Time Players/Justin Gabriel/Zack Ryder/Kofi Kingston/Rob Van Dam/Dolph Ziggler/Daniel Bryan/R-Truth went to a no contest

Wyatt Family b. Justin Gabriel/Zack Ryder – Discus lariat to Ryder

Alberto Del Rio b. R-Truth – Cross Armbreaker

Daniel Bryan/Usos b. Shield – Running knee to Ambrose

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 15, 2003
Location: Carolina Coliseum, Columbia, South Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

I can understand asking for a 2002 Raw, but 2003? Why would you want to subject yourself to that? I don’t get wrestling fans sometimes. Anyway, this is the go home show for Unforgiven which had a main event of……Goldberg vs. HHH I believe? A check of that would say I’m right, as well as saying that I need to get a life. Let’s get to it.

Eric Bischoff and HHH are in the back and there’s going to be a going away party for Goldberg tonight because HHH is going to destroy him on Sunday.

Theme song. Across the Nation was as good a theme as they’ve ever had.

As the show opens, Jericho and Christian are in the ring with signs demanding that Stone Cold must go. This is an official protest you see. Jericho does the talking and says that Austin is a menace and a horrible GM. Christian says Austin is a joke because he’s keeping Christian off PPVs. They try to start a Stone Cole Must Go chant and here’s Austin. Austin talks about how Jericho slapped him on the back and eventually hurt his feelings. The idea here is that Austin cannot attack anyone unless provoked and he really wants to beat someone up.

Austin says that Christian will be defending on Sunday (that takes about 30 seconds) but doesn’t name an opponent. Instead he’s interested in getting someone to provoke him but as he pulls his fist back, he tells Christian to do it instead. Jericho gets in Austin’s face again and wants the shot at Christian on Sunday. Austin says ok but Jericho has to win the following match first.

Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Jericho

Christian tries to get in a cheap shot but gets kicked down instead. Jericho gets dumped to the floor and taken out by a dive as we take a fast break. Back with Van Dam hitting a forearm and the cartwheel moonsault for two. A standing rana (called a moonsault by JR for some reason) gets two for Van Dam so he goes up, only to be shoved off the top by Christian.

Back in and Jericho puts on a chinlock as the fans chant for RVD. Rob fights up and hits a spinwheel kick and that stepover kick of his followed by Rolling Thunder. A flying kick off the top gets two but Jericho rolls through a monkey flip. The Walls don’t work so Jericho hits a sleeper drop for two. Rob tries a springboard kick but the referee gets kicked in the face. Well of course he does. The Lionsault and Five Star both hit knees so Christian comes in and hits both of them with the title so it’s a draw.

Rating: C. This wasn’t bad but Jericho was really needing to get the to the Trish storyline to get a recharge at this point. Christian would stay at about this level for awhile until he left for TNA for a few years. Van Dam is Van Dam and that’s about all there is to him. The match itself wasn’t bad but it’s nothing we haven’t seen them do way better at other times.

Austin makes it a triple threat. You know, LIKE EVERY OTHER TRIPLE THREAT.

Video of Goldberg beating Hogan on Nitro.

Spike Dudley vs. Rob Conway

Spike is in a neckbrace and his brothers fight the other members of La Resistance into the crowd. Conway hits a neckbreaker and wins in about 20 seconds.

Post match Conway powerbombs Spike through a table before the Dudleys make the save. The Dudleys would win the tag titles Sunday in a handicap tables match.

Coach and Al Snow suck up to Bischoff but he blows them off as some chick from Tough Enough gives him a note saying there are two women here. I have a bad feeling about this. Regarding Snow and Coach, see they’re the Heat commentators and want to be the Raw commentators so there’s a tag match between the two of them and JR/King on Sunday for the Raw commentary job. Somehow WWE isn’t sure why no one liked 2003.

The two women are of course Moolah and Mae. We’re in South Carolina so you knew this was coming. Moolah wants a match for her 80^th birthday. Austin pops in and says do it and tells Eric to kiss Moolah for luck. Mae Young is there, so you should know what comes next.

Victoria vs. Fabulous Moolah

Victoria hits both Moolah and Mae, but the distraction of Mae lets Moolah roll her up in thirty seconds. That would be two matches that combined to last less than 60 seconds.

Post match Victoria beats both of them up but Randy Orton comes out to save for some reason. Then he realizes they’re legends and RKO’s Moolah.

Goldust/Lance Storm vs. Mark Henry/Rodney Mack

This is when Storm was “just having fun” and would come to the ring dancing to hip hop music. Whoever asked me to review this show, I’d advise you to NOT REQUEST ANOTHER ONE LIKE THIS. Teddy Long manages the team you would expect him to manage, which may or may not be called Thuggin N Buggin Enterprises. Storm and Mack start things off and the fans chant boring, which is the idea behind Storm’s new character. See, Austin told him he was boring and to get a personality.

Storm takes Mack down but Henry hits him in the back of the head to take over. A splash crushed Storm and it’s off to Goldust who almost immediately gets caught in the World’s Strongest Slam for the pin. This actually broke 1:50, so we’re getting closer to a match that’s actually long enough to rate (even the first match barely was as a lot of that was in a lot of that was in a commercial). This would be Goldust’s last match on Raw for about three years.

Evolution (minus Batista who is recovering from injury) is in the back planning for the party for Goldberg later. Orton has to take care of something and runs into Shawn who he faces Sunday. Orton says Shawn made his career out of being a stepping stone and Sunday, he’s going to use Shawn as a stepping stone. Shawn slaps Randy in the face and says Orton better step hard.

Hurricane tries to teach Rosey to fly. Rosey gets a cab instead.

Molly and Gail Kim say their handicap match tonight with Trish is now No Holds Barred. Sure why not.

Here are Kane and Shane McMahon to sign the contract for their last man standing match on Sunday. Shane says he’s taking Kane down on Sunday and signs. There goes the table and the fight is on. Shane hits Kane low several times and gets in a pair of chair shots. With Kane down, Shane pulls the cover off an announce table at ringside that is apparently only here for this segment (JR and King broadcast from up by the stage at this point). Shane puts Kane on the table and hits the big elbow to drive Kane through it.

Gail Kim/Molly Holly vs. Trish Stratus

No Holds Barred just because. Trish hits a quick double neckbreaker to start and gets down to one on one with Molly. You know, because they have to tag in a no holds barred match. I will say this: Molly is really good looking with black hair. Trish kicks Molly in the face and hits the Stratusphere before it’s off to Gail. Kim takes over with a clothesline and a middle rope legdrop for two. Some heel double teaming allows for a Molly handspring elbow for two. Apparently Molly is Women’s Champion. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Trish rops Molly while trying a spinebuster. The villains double team Trish and the Molly Go Round pins her.

Rating: F. When you hear the words “no holds barred”, you expect more than a generic bad handicap match. The only thing good about this was the girls all looking good, which was the case for most Divas matches back in the day. This division needed a shot in the arm and it needed one in a hurry.

Post match the beating continues and a chair is grabbed, but here’s the returning Lita to make the save. She’s been gone over a year due to a neck injury. If nothing else she looks great in a black bra and tiny shorts.

Post match Gail and Molly are in the back with Eric. Eric says he fired Lita but Austin comes in and says he rehired her. There’s a tag match for Sunday. Gail: “I slept with the wrong general manager.”

Here are Coach and Snow dressed as JR and King respectively. They go to the broken announce table as they’re going to give us a preview of what Raw is like next week. Yeah, THIS is one of the top matches at Unforgiven.

Test vs. Val Venis

Test has Stacy with him as his reluctant love slave or something like that. Test makes Stacy sit down in a chair after hitting Val a few times. Val escapes the pumphandle slam and hits a Blue Thunder Bomb for two. Val loads up the Money Shot but Test kicks the referee into the ropes. There’s the Pumphandle Slam but Stacy pulls Test to the floor. Scott Steiner, Stacy’s alleged savior, comes out to distract Test and Stacy crotches her client on the ropes. Val hits a full nelson slam for the surprise pin. Coach and Snow were very annoying on commentary here. Steiner would turn heel and use Stacy just like Test was soon.

Steiner beats up Test post match but Test gets Stacy before he leaves.

Lawler comes out and asks to fight Snow right now. The match is after a break.

Al Snow vs. Jerry Lawler

Coach and JR are on commentary here as Lawler controls with some very basic stuff. They slug it out and King hits a DDT for two. Snow comes back with a slam but a suplex is countered into a small package for the pin. This was the last match of the show people. This is the main event. Let that sink in.

Coach hits JR before bailing.

Austin runs into Evolution and says HHH is having the Goldberg party by himself.

Here’s HHH for the farewell. He asks the crowd for a Goldberg chant but they’re not interested. We get music and confetti and balloons because this needs to get stupider. HHH says there are no such things as dynasties in wrestling but he’s the one constant. Apparently the one constant isn’t the mic as it goes out yet we can still hear it on TV. With a new mic, HHH shows off a portrait of Goldberg being bloodied by Evolution. This is going nowhere by the way. Now we get VIDEO of the beating! Goldberg finally pops up on screen and says he’ll win the title before coming out and gorilla pressing HHH to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. Despite that TEN MINUTE closing segment, I have zero desire to see either the main event or any of the matches on the show. There are two matches on this show that were long enough to rate: one ended in a draw and one was a no holds barred match that had nothing out of the ordinary. Other than that you have all kinds of stuff like Moolah and Test and the Spike match. Horrible show here and I want nothing to do with Unforgiven or Raw in 2003. Naturally the whole year is on my schedule.

Here’s Unforgiven if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/11/03/unforgiven-2003-i-was-wrong-2002-isnt-the-worst-year-ever-for-wwe/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

Night of Champions 2013
Date: September 15, 2013
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

This is the first PPV after the big summer angle with the rise of the new Corporation. Our main event tonight is Randy Orton defending his title against Daniel Bryan in Bryan’s first one on one shot against the new champion. The other main event is CM Punk vs. Paul Heyman/Curtis Axel in an elimination tag for Punk’s chance to get his hands on Heyman. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Tag Team Turmoil

This is a tag team gauntlet match with the winning team earning a tag title shot at Seth Rollins/Roman Reigns later in the show. There are five teams in total with two teams starting. The winners of the first match move on to face the next team, last team standing wins. It’s 3MB vs. Tons of Funk (minus the Funkadactyls) to get us going.

Brodus starts with Heath (teaming with McIntyre here) and quickly crushes Slater in the corner. Off to Tensai who follows Slater to the floor. Drew busts out a flip dive over the top of all things to take over for a bit. Back in and Tensai gets two off a sunset flip but Drew pounds away in the corner, only to get rolled up for the pin by Tensai at 2:40.

The Real Americans are in next but 3MB sticks around to beat on Tensai. Cesaro shouts WE THE PEOPLE and it’s time for a commercial on the pre-show. Back with Cesaro still shouting WE THE PEOPLE before Tensai counters a suplex to take him down. Hot tag brings in Brodus to clean house with his headbutt to the chest and a splash in the corner but Swagger breaks up the cover off the middle rope splash. Swagger makes a blind tag and puts a covering Brodus into the Patriot Lock for the submission at 5:16 total.

It’s the Usos in fourth, meaning the Prime Time Players are last. They charge in to the ring with Jey hitting a big flip dive over the top to take out Swagger and a slingshot moonsault connects on Cesaro. Swagger comes in legally with a belly to belly suplex on Jey before we hit the armbar. Back to Cesaro for some choking and we take ANOTHER break. Do we really need commercials during a big commercial?

After seeing the same explanation of how to order the show that we got in the first commercial break, we’re back with Cesaro being knocked off the apron but Swagger avoids the Superfly Splash and the Patriot Lock submits Jey at 10:00. It’s the Prime Time Players in last with Titus cleaning house on Swagger. A fall away slam puts Jack down but he takes Titus’ leg out, only to have Darren Young break up another Patriot Lock. The hot tag brings in Young but he gets caught in the Patriot Lock as well. Young rolls through and the Gut Check gives the Players the title shot at 11:55 total. Cesaro was gone for the last fall.

Rating: D+. These matches are fun in theory but I’ve never cared for them for the most part. At the end of the day, it doesn’t work to see these falls go down in just a few minutes. There’s no time to get any story going and one of the last two teams in line always wins the thing. Nothing special here and I think everyone knew the Players were winning here.

The opening video is about what defines a champion with clips of men like Sammartino, Hogan, Michaels and Austin. It transitions into the usual PPV opening video focusing on the main events.

Here’s HHH to open the show. He thanks us for joining him in what’s best for business and says he’s listening to the audience. There won’t be any interference in the main event from anyone, including Shield, Big Show or anyone else. HHH asks us if we’re ready for Night of Champions which brings out Heyman (in a suit) and Curtis Axel.

Heyman says he’s tried everything to get a message to HHH but this is the best he can do. HHH asks Heyman when he last slept or showered and Paul snaps that he’s stressed out. Heyman complains about the position he’s been put in as we’re ten minutes into the show and this is what we’re getting. He explains the entire story of Punk vs. Heyman/Lesnar as well as the match we’ve got tonight in case you bought all the PPVs available tonight and aren’t sure what you want to watch.

Apparently the handicap match is No DQ which must have been announced on the pre-show. HHH says Heyman shouldn’t be worried if he trusts Curtis Axel as much as he claims to. The match stays on so now Axel gets to beg for his boss’ life. He brings up beating HHH in a match as the fans chant BORING. HHH says this is Night of Champions so HHH is going to go to the back and the first person he finds gets an IC Title shot.

Intercontinental Title: Curtis Axel vs. Kofi Kingston

Well this is a letdown. Kofi takes him down by the wrist and sends Axel to the floor. Back in and Curtis avoids the double leapfrog and bails to the floor again because the seventeen minutes of stalling to open the show weren’t enough. Kofi kicks him on the way back in and Axel is on the floor for the third time in three minutes. Back in again and a dropkick gets two on the champion so Axel goes outside AGAIN. Kingston gets tired of waiting and goes outside but gets sent into the steps. Kofi stops himself and jumps to the apron and then the top for a spinning cross body to the floor.

Back inside again and Axel gets in a cheap shot to take over. Kofi is tied up in the Tree of Woe for a spear to the ribs and the snap Saito Suplex is good for two. We hit the neck crank followed by a clothesline for two for the champion. A quick slam gets two on Kofi as this boring match continues. Back to the chinlock for a bit before Kofi tries to spin around a clothesline but can’t quite pull it off as crisply as he wanted to. A DDT gets two on Axel and Kofi’s spinning cross body off the top gets the same.

There’s the Boom Drop but Trouble in Paradise misses. Axel drives Kofi into the corner but walks into a pendulum kick. Kofi goes up, only to dive into a dropkick to the chest for two. Kingston escapes another Saito Suplex and a side roll gets two. The SOS is countered and Trouble in Paradise is ducked but Kofi counters Curtis’ neckbreaker into the SOS for…..something as the camera is on Heyman at what could have been the three count. It’s only two so Kofi goes to the corner, only to wind up on Axel’s shoulders and dropped on the top rope. The neckbreaker into the cutter are good enough to retain Curtis’ title at 14:05.

Rating: C. When civilization has come to an end and the human race is gone, Kofi Kingston will still be in the Intercontinental Title hunt. The match wasn’t terrible and it got WAY better at the end, but the first five minutes of this match were way too boring. Also what’s the idea of having Axel in a nearly fifteen minute match before he was a big underdog in the match later? Methinks something is up.

Chris Jericho is named the best IC Champion ever with 63% of the vote over Mr. Perfect, Pat Patterson, Rick Rude and Honky Tonk Man. Those are your only options.

Ricardo teaches Van Dam how to say his finishing moves in Spanish. Also Del Rio has no testicular fortitude and the universal term for World Heavyweight Champion is RVD.

AJ’s new friends (Aksana/Alicia/Layla) want nothing to do with her for the title match. AJ says they’re nothing without her, which makes me think they’re actually pushing the Total Divas as the good ones in this.

Trish Stratus dominates Michelle McCool, Wendi Richter, Lita and Fabulous Moolah to be named best Divas/Women’s Champion ever.

We get the entire promo that set up AJ vs. the Total Divas and the Total Divas beating AJ up.

Divas Title: Natalya vs. Brie Bella vs. AJ Lee vs. Naomi

Big face reaction for AJ despite the lack of clarity in whom we’re supposed to cheer for. AJ gets chased to the floor and sent into the barricade before. The challengers all kick AJ to the floor before the Total Divas break down. The crowd goes SILENT when AJ isn’t in there. Brie cleans house but walks into a dropkick from Naomi. Those two take each other out an AJ grabs a rollup on Natalya for two. The Rear View gets two on Natalya and Brie loads up a superplex on Naomi.

Natalya makes the save but has to duck a high cross body from Naomi. AJ sends Naomi to the floor but Naomi pops back up onto the apron to totally miss a high kick to Brie. Natalya baseball slides AJ to the floor and suplexes Brie down for no cover. Brie breaks up a Sharpshooter on Naomi so Natalya slams her down onto Naomi. Why the referee doesn’t count Naomi while Brie is on top of her isn’t clear. Natalya puts both of them in a Sharpshooter which I believe she did to Laycool before but AJ makes the save. There’s the Black Widow on Natalya for the submission to retain AJ’s title at 5:45.

Rating: D. This is in no way related to AJ because she did everything she could out there. These other girls SUCK and no one cares about them. There’s nothing else to it than that. They’re getting this push because they’re horrible to each other on a reality show and that’s supposed to make them interesting wrestlers. Yeah Natalya can go in the ring and Naomi is athletic, but that doesn’t mean anyone cares about them. I’m being very generous with the rating actually. It was that bad.

We go to the All-Star panel of Alex Riley, Booker T and Santino Marella.

World Heavyweight Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Alberto Del Rio

Alberto is defending, Rob is the hometown boy (close enough) and Ricardo is here after being banned from ringside on Smackdown. Del Rio quickly takes him down but Rob comes right back with a kick to the face. A loud spinwheel kick in the corner has the champion staggered and a monkey flip gets two. Del Rio hits a dropkick of all things but misses a charge and falls to the floor. A slingshot moonsault puts Alberto down and Rob drapes him across the barricade for the spin kick to the back.

Del Rio blocks a suplex back in and brings Rob to the apron before knocking him out to the floor. The champion’s suicide dive takes Van Dam down and Del Rio sends him into the barricade. We hit the chinlock before Rob rolls him up for two. A snap suplex puts Rob right back down and Del Rio does the finger point. Del Rio kicks him in the back of the head for two and it’s back to the chinlock. An enziguri sends Del Rio to the floor but Alberto misses a dive and crashes on the outside.

Back in and a kick to the face gets two for Rob and the middle rope thrust kick gets the same. A top rope kick to the face sets up Rolling Thunder but Alberto rolls away and hits the Backstabber for two. Rob breaks up the reverse superplex and the cannonball off the top gets two. They slug it out with Del Rio getting two off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Rob kicks his way out of the armbreaker and gets two off a rollup.

The split legged moonsault gets the same but Alberto comes back with a Codebreaker on the arm. Del Rio’s low superkick gets two but Rob kicks him off the ropes. The Five Star hits knees and there’s the armbreaker but Rob gets to a rope….and Del Rio holds on through the five count for the DQ at 14:28.

Rating: C+. The match was fine but the ending crippled anything it could have been. Alberto just isn’t interesting as a champion whatsoever but he’s been in every PPV Smackdown Title match this year. I don’t know who we’re waiting on to take the title from him but this wasn’t the right ending for this match.

Post match Rob hits a Van Terminator to wake the crowd up.

Axel is confident while Heyman panics even more. We’ve covered this for weeks now.

Booker T beats out Flair, Edge, Batista and Undertaker as greatest World Champion ever. WHAT?

Orton wants to know what HHH is thinking. HHH says he’s just making sure he picked the right face of the WWE.

The Miz vs. Fandango

Here’s the filler match we all knew was coming. Fandango dances around to start and drives some elbows into Miz’s neck. Miz comes back but can’t hit the Reality Check or put on the Figure Four, allowing Fandango to send him to the apron. Back in and Miz hits the corner clothesline but a Summer Rae distraction lets Fandango take over again. We hit a chinlock with a bodyscissors as a Summer Rae chant starts up.

The announcers are talking about baseball as Miz sends Fandango to the floor, only to jump into a kick to the ribs. Now it’s a Randy Savage chant as the fans just do not care about this match. Miz fights up and goes after the leg before hitting the short DDT for two. Now the fans want tables. Fandango suplexes him down for two and ties Miz up in the ropes for a guillotine legdrop for two. The real guillotine legdrop misses and Miz gets two as the crowd groans. Thankfully the Figure Four ends Fandango at 8:00.

Rating: D. This show is sinking like a stone. The fans didn’t care about this at all and there’s no reason for them to. It’s a feud about Miz interrupting Fandango’s dancing and that’s about it. Why would I want to see that on a show I’m paying to see? Also it’s a bad idea after such a dull show so far.

WWE loves the National Guard.

We recap Punk vs. Heyman/Axel. Punk asked Heyman to stop coming to the ring with him so Heyman screwed him over at MITB. Punk swore revenge so Heyman brought Lesnar back to beat Punk up with Brock getting the pin at Summerslam. Now it’s Heyman/Axel vs. Punk in an elimination match so Punk can get his hands on Heyman.

Paul Heyman/Curtis Axel vs. CM Punk

No DQ and it’s under elimination rules. Heyman of course hides on the floor as the other guys swing kendo sticks at each other. Axel gets in a shot but Punk comes back with a series of his own to take over. Curtis gets knocked down and Punk dives through the ropes to get at Heyman. Paul is taken into the ring and put in a chinlock before Punk picks up the stick. CM takes too long though and a low blow drops Punk. Curtis pounds away and gets in some stick shots to the back.

The beating continues as Heyman does Brock’s bounce on the floor. The fans still want tables but they get chops and forearms from Punk instead. Axel hits a clothesline to the back of the head for two and it’s table time, making Curtis the most over guy in the arena for a split second. The table is set up in the corner but Punk blocks a suplex through the table, only to have Axel do the same. Axel takes Punk down again and we hit another chinlock.

Punk fights up and sends Curtis into a chair in the corner, knocking Axel to the floor. Back in and Punk hits his swinging neckbreaker and the knee into the corner. Axel rolls away before the Macho Elbow and gets in a chair shot for two. The lone boring chant is blocked out by a Punk chant as Axel gets two off a neckbreaker of his own. Heyman shouts that Axel is better than Punk as Curtis strolls around the ring. More kendo stick shots to Punk’s back get two but Punk counters the neckbreaker into the cutter into the GTS. The Anaconda Vice gets the tap out at 10:40 to get us down to Punk vs. Heyman.

Punk wisely keeps the hold on to knock Axel out even more before going after Heyman. Heyman slowly walks around the ring before running up the ramp, only to go into the crowd and back to ringside. Punk catches him in the ring and pulls on Heyman’s ears and nose. Punk gets the stick but Heyman hugs him. The smile on Punk’s face is rather creepy as he canes Heyman down. Heyman: “OH THAT HURTS!” Punk pounds away before calling for the GTS. He’s not ready yet though as he pulls out the handcuffs from his boot, just like Heyman used on him for the big beating a few weeks ago.

Heyman tries to tap out but the fans think this is awesome. Heyman begs for mercy, making it even better. Punk hits him very slowly with the stick and says to remember that it was him doing this to Paul. Heyman tries to tap with his foot so Punk promises to break Paul’s face. Cue Ryback to drive Punk through the table, slicing Punk’s back open in a scary looking visual. Heyman is placed on top for the pin at 1 5:56.

Rating: B-. This was exactly what it was supposed to be: Punk getting some revenge, only to have Heyman debut his new guy to give Punk a real challenge next month at Battleground. At the end of the day, Axel just isn’t competition for CM Punk and everyone knew it. Ryback isn’t a huge star, but he’s a much bigger deal than Axel and gives Punk a much better challenge. Good choice here and the perfect booking.

Punk refuses medical attention for his back.

More expert panel stuff.

US Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Dean Ambrose

Ziggy beat Ambrose via DQ on Friday to get this shot. Feeling out process with Ziggler trying to speed things up, only to have Dean grab the rope. Ziggler gets two off a dropkick and there are the ten elbow drops. They tumble out to the floor and Dean takes over before heading back inside for a knee in the back and some face rubbing into the mat. We hit a reverse chinlock followed by a regular chinlock until Ziggler fights up and gets two off a sunset flip.

They trade rollups for two each and Ziggy goes to the middle rope, only to be knocked down so Dean can slowly rake his back. A superplex gets two for the champion so Dean flips over the top and goes up but Ziggler catches him in a top rope X Factor for two. Ambrose’s full nelson is countered into a rollup for two and Dean goes to the corner.

A Stinger Splash and ten punches set up a clothesline for two on Ambrose and it’s off to the sleeper. Dean easily suplexes his way to freedom and a near fall but gets caught in the Fameasser for a close two. Dean’s bulldog driver is countered into a rollup for two but the second attempt is good for the pin to retain the title at 9:54.

Rating: C+. I liked this one more than I thought I would. This is the kind of match the show needed: a fast paced, back and forth match with both guys looking good. A clean win over a former world champion is nothing but good for Dean and the match was a nice pickup as well. Good stuff here.

Sting is named best US Champion ever over Bobo Brazil, Harley Race, Sgt. Slaughter and Ricky Steamboat.

Tag Titles: Prime Time Players vs. Shield

It’s Rollins/Reigns defending as the Players won tag team turmoil on the pre-show. Rollins and Titus start in a nice power vs. speed matchup. Seth can’t throw Titus around and has his cross body caught, only for O’Neil to throw him down like it’s nothing. Off to Young with a headlock on the mat followed by some shoulder blocks and a clothesline for two. Roman gets the tag and blocks an O’Connor Roll before being sent to the outside.

A big elbow gets two for Young and it’s back to Titus to pound on Rollins some more. All Players so far as Titus blows the whistle, allowing Rollins to bail to the floor. Darren follows Seth to the floor, allowing Shield to take over as they come back inside. It’s Reigns working over Darren before throwing him back to the outside.

Back in and Seth hooks a chinlock on Young before slapping him around a bit. Young comes back with a quick belly to belly but Reigns blocks the hot tag. Darren sends him into the corner and backdrops Seth down, allowing for the hot tag to Titus. O’Neil starts cleaning house and hits the release fall away slam on Rollins. Clash of the Titus gets two as Reigns makes the trademark Shield save. Young and Roman go to the floor but Reigns jumps back in for the spear on Titus, giving Seth the retaining pin at 7:30.

Rating: C. This was fine all things considered. The Players weren’t going to get the belts and everyone knew it, but it’s nice to see a fresh team in the title scene. It’s not like those two getting a title shot is a stretch or anything so I can’t imagine a ton of complaints about Young being pushed. Nothing special here but it was fine.

We look at Heyman vs. Punk some more.

DX is named the greatest tag team of all time over the Wild Samoans, the Bulldogs, the LOD and the Harts. That’s so laughable I’m not even going to bother making fun of it.

We recap the main event. Bryan won the title from John Cena at Summerslam before being screwed over by HHH and Randy Orton, bringing in the new Corporation with Orton being named best for business. Bryan was then beaten down for weeks on end as he waited for his one on one rematch with Orton here tonight. No one has been allowed to help Bryan for fear of losing their jobs. Cody Rhodes questioned things and lost his job in a match against Orton.

Hulk Hogan dominates Cena, Punk, HHH and Austin as Best WWE Champion ever. All of the polls were landslides.

WWE Championship: Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

HHH has guaranteed no interference but there are no special rules. BIG pop for Bryan as expected. Feeling out process to start with Bryan taking the arm for early control. Orton takes him down with a shoulder but Bryan fires off a knee to the ribs to take over. Bryan unleashes the kicks but Orton comes right back with a clothesline. Randy takes too much time posing and Bryan comes back with right hands, only to be clotheslined down again for two.

We hit the chinlock for a bit before Orton fights up and pounds away at Orton’s head with some good aggression. Randy comes back with a knee to the ribs and the slow circle stomp They’re doing the slow build here for the big finishing sequence. Orton rains down right hands in the corner with the fans chanting NO on each one in a nice touch. Bryan fights back with the running clothesline and the kicks in the corner as Orton is suddenly reeling. The headbutt connects to send Orton to the floor for the FLYING GOAT.

Back in and the missile dropkick sends Orton to the floor again, setting up a second FLYING GOAT! Back in again but Orton bails to the other side of the ring but Bryan’s third FLYING GOAT meets a forearm. Orton hits the Elevated DDT on the floor but Bryan slides back in at nine for a nice false finish. Orton does the finger point and loads up the RKO, only to have Bryan escape but knock the referee to the floor.

Bryan can’t get the YES Lock but there’s a second referee in now. Orton’s powerslam gets two but the Elevated DDT is countered into the YES Lock in the middle of the ring. Bryan is CRANKING on it too with the arm looking like a pretzel. Orton very slowly crawls over and finally makes the rope in another nice false finish. There are more kicks in the corner but the running dropkick misses. The first referee is still on the floor which makes me very nervous of a double fall.

Orton puts Bryan on the corner but Bryan slips through the legs and crotches the champion. Orton is put down into the Tree of Woe for more kicks to the ribs and now the running dropkick connects. Bryan loads up a belly to back superplex but Orton knocks him down, only to have Daniel pop up with a forearm to a seated champion. Now Bryan’s superplex connects but Bryan hangs on by the legs.

A LONG flying headbutt hits Orton but Randy is out at two. The original referee is back in now which isn’t something you see that often. Bryan unleashes more kicks but Orton catchs the big one into the high collar suplex to put both guys down. Orton can’t get a backslide so Bryan hits the big kick to the head and the running knee gets the pin and the title 17:49.

Rating: B+. This took awhile to get going but once they got on a roll they didn’t stop. That running knee has become a devastating finisher and it worked very well here again. I’m sure there will be more shenanigans in the future but the match tonight was very good. Solid stuff here and I can’t say I’m upset that Bryan won. Good stuff here, as you would expect.

Bryan celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. The last couple of matches saved this from being one of the least interesting shows I’ve ever seen. It’s still not a good show but it set up Battleground well enough. That’s the problem with having three PPVs in seven weeks: there’s not enough time to build anything up. Nothing really happened tonight and it felt like a big episode of Raw. I’ve seen worse but this was a huge drop after Summerslam.

Results

Prime Time Players won Tag Team Turmoil last eliminating the Real Americans

Curtis Axel b. Kofi Kingston – Neckbreaker into a faceplant

AJ Lee b. Natalya, Naomi and Brie Bella – Black Widow to Natalya

Rob Van Dam b. Alberto Del Rio via DQ when Del Rio wouldn’t break the cross armbreaker

Paul Heyman/Curtis Axel b. CM Punk – Heyman pinned Punk after a spear through a table by Ryback

Dean Ambrose b. Dolph Ziggler – Bulldog driver

Shield b. Prime Time Players – Spear to O’Neil

Daniel Bryan b. Randy Orton – Running knee to the head

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 9, 2013
Location: Air Canada Centre, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

We’re in Bizarro Land tonight with three stories for the show. First of all, Edge is back for one show only to promote the season premiere of his TV show Haven and likely cutting a big promo on what’s going on in WWE at the moment. Other than that we have Goldust returning to fight for his brother’s job against Randy Orton in a match that will be more interesting for the story than the wrestling. On top of that it’s the go home show for Night of Champions so we’ll get the final push. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Edge to open things up to a big reaction. He still has the short hair which is still strange to see from him. Chimmel even throws in an over the voice crack for old times’ sake. It’s the Cutting Edge which is back due to a request from HHH. The boss wanted to have Edge back to talk with his old partner. Not Christian, but Randy Orton. Edge however doesn’t see anything interesting in Randy Orton because Edge made cashing in MITB cool.

Orton is just a puppet who has Shield do his fighting for him. Therefore, Orton won’t be the guest tonight. The guest will be someone good for business (Edge: “Say YES if you agree with me”): Daniel Bryan. As Bryan comes out, we see a clip from the end of last week’s show with Big Show knocking Bryan out cold.

Bryan says having this many people chanting your name helps because he’s taken a lot of TripleBombs, a lot of RKOs and a lot of Knock Out punches. No matter how many times HHH holds him down though, he’ll be WWE Champion. Edge says Bryan deserves a fair shot at Orton and asks Bryan if he thinks he can beat Randy. Can he shove it in HHH’s face and become WWE Champion? Can Bryan become the face of the WWE? Bryan is about to say yes but here’s Orton for an interruption.

Orton calls it a shame that Edge can only get a reaction in a place like Canada. Edge thinks Orton acts like an entirely different body part than a face. The Ortons have a history of long running medical problems. Bob had a bad arm forever and Orton has no spine. HHH has made Orton his puppet. As great a mind as HHH has for the business, he’s flat out bad at picking talent. This brings out HHH but Edge cuts him off, reminding HHH that he (Edge) can’t get in trouble because he doesn’t work here. HHH has said that Edge, Chris Jericho and John Cena had no future so why should we believe what HHH says about Bryan?

HHH plugs Haven on Friday and admits that he was wrong about Jericho and Cena, but he was right about Edge being a failure. The bottom line is that the experiment of the Rated R Superstar was a failure because he never drew a dime. At the end of the day, the best way to shut up HHH is to prove him wrong. Bryan is going to get that chance by facing Dean Ambrose here tonight.

Since Dean will have Shield in his corner, Bryan can have Big Show in his corner. HHH says he isn’t a dictator, but Edge cuts him off by saying he earned his Hall of Fame ring instead of marrying into it. The boss says it’s easy to talk when you know no one can come down there and hurt you, but maybe he can hurt the ones Edge loves. Here’s Shield dragging out an unconscious Christian as we go to a break.

Back from a break with Edge storming in on HHH and Stephanie but Shield jumps between them. Edge wants to be cleared for one night only so he can take HHH apart. HHH wants to know who Edge thinks he is by storming into his city (HHH’s) of Toronto like this. He tells Edge to get out of this town and off of his show, threatening him with Shield.

Kofi Kingston vs. Curtis Axel

Non-title here. Axel hammers away on Kofi and hits a quick dropkick for two. Kofi flips out of a belly to back suplex and hits a spinning chop to take Axel down. The SOS gets a quick two but Curtis grabs the rope to escape. Axel heads to the floor but comes back in to pound on Kofi in the corner, eventually drawing a DQ at 2:14.

Heyman yells at Axel that this can’t happen on Sunday. Axel goes over to Kofi but gets his head kicked off.

Video on Goldust to hype up his match with Orton.

Medics look at Heyman’s leg in the back due to him slipping on some water earlier. I smell goldbricking.

We look at the end of last week’s show with Bryan vs. Big Show and Bryan being laid out. Again.

Booker T comes up to Big Show in the back and talks about everything that big Show wants to do to everyone tonight. Show needs to remember his daughter and his family when he’s out there tonight. He can’t let his pride make him make a mistake. Show says pride is all he has left.

Wyatt Family promo.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Bray Wyatt

That’s quite the upgrade for Bray. Wyatt pounds Ziggler down to start and shouts GAME OVER. Ziggler comes back with a dropkick but Bray runs through him as we take a quick break. Back with Ziggy fighting out of a chinlock but getting caught with an elbow to the jaw. Off to a reverse chinlock but Ziggler fights out and pounds away with everything he can throw. The dropkick and Fameasser gets two but Ziggler has to avoid the Family, allowing Bray to crush him in the corner. Sister Abigail gets the pin at 6:40. Not enough shown to rate but this was pretty much a Wyatt squash.

Video of Goldust’s comedy bits over the years, mainly with Booker T.

Heyman comes out on crutches, flanked by Curtis Axel and a guy who could be Damien Sandow’s twin but is actually a doctor. Heyman doesn’t care for the Canadian healthcare system, which is why he’s brought along his personal physician from New York City. Apparently Heyman has torn his meniscus or ACL from slipping on the water. Therefore, he’s out of the match with Punk on Sunday.

This brings out Maddox with the famed Dr. Samson for an official WWE medical examination. Heyman is told to sit in a chair for the knee examination and we have to see his bare leg. Fans: “This is awkward!” Samson checks all of the ligaments and Heyman says everything is very sore. The diagnosis is that Heyman is fine so Heyman freaks. This brings out Punk with the kendo stick and Heyman sprints off, meaning the jig is up. Punk beats up Heyman’s doctor for fun.

Brie Bella/Natalya/Naomi vs. Layla/Alicia Fox/Aksana

AJ is on commentary as Trinity starts with Aksana. The Rear View gets a quick two as AJ talks about the Divas Title being reality. Trinity goes up top but Aksana shakes the ropes to bring her down and take over. Layla chokes Trinity on the ropes and gets two off a dropkick. AJ: “I’m too old for you Jerry. I’m 26.” Trinity finally gets in a shot to bring in Natalya vs. Alicia. Nattie cleans house as Cole talks about AJ having a 25% chance of keeping her title. AJ: “Well I had a million to one shot at making it in WWE and I main evented Raw.” Point to AJ. Natalya hooks the Sharpshooter on Alicia for the win at 2:53.

Video on Goldust’s in ring accomplishments.

Alberto Del Rio vs. R-Truth

Del Rio easily takes Truth down to start but gets sent to the floor for a dive by the non-champion. The fans chant for the announcers as Del Rio catches Truth with the running enziguri to knock him off the apron. Back in and we hit the chinlock followed by a clothesline for two on Truth. R comes back with a leg lariat and the sitout front suplex for two of his own. Now the chant is for Undertaker as Del Rio hits a tilt-a-whirl slam. The low superkick and the armbreaker are good for the win for the champion at 3:50.

Rating: D+. Just a squash here to set up Del Rio for the title defense on Sunday but it was better than expected. It can’t be a good sign when Del Rio beating a jobber to the stars is a big win for him though. A champion of any kind shouldn’t need a win like this going into a PPV. It’s not a good sign for the booking leading into the title defense.

There’s a five team Tag Team Turmoil match with the Real Americans, the Usos, 3MB, Prime Time Players and Tons of Funk for the #1 contendership this Sunday.

Zeb Colter thinks Canada is a bad neighbor but they can all be saved if they start caring about more than hockey.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Santino Marella

Cesaro takes him down with a dropkick as soon as the bell rings. A clothesline puts Santino down but he comes back with his strikes as Cole talks about Marella’s Battle Arts Academy. Cesaro will have none of this though and hooks a giant swing with a TON of revolutions. As in this goes on for like 30 seconds. It’s STILL going!

Cesaro throws him down after almost a minute straight of spinning but Santino comes right back. The saluting headbutt sets up the Cobra but Cesaro uppercuts him down for two. A running European uppercut in the corner gets two and Cesaro starts slapping him. Santino comes back with a throw and gets the pin at 3:45.

Rating: F. Not for the wrestling but for the stupid booking. We announce Cesaro for a big PPV match and have him do the awesome giant swing, but the comedy goof is back so we have to give him a win for no apparent reason. Either A, wait until after the PPV match or B, USE SOMEONE ELSE. Put a 3MB guy in there (only two will be in the PPV match) or Wade Barrett or someone else not doing something. Why waste a cool moment like the giant swing for the sake of giving a comedy guy a win? Because there’s no long term thinking in the midcard and hasn’t been for years.

Damien Sandow vs. The Miz

Miz takes over with a quick suplex but Sandow takes him into the corner with some shoulders to the ribs. Miz comes back with the top rope ax handle for two. Sandow avoids a low kick to the face and hits a quick Russian legsweep. The Wind-Up elbow gets two on Miz but he comes back with a kick to the leg. Cue Fandango for a distraction, allowing Sandow to roll Miz up for the pin at 3:49. I believe that’s Sandow’s first one on one win since June.

Rating: D. This was nothing at all as neither guy has anything going for them at all. I have no idea what it is that the fans love about the “distraction leads to a rollup” finish but it’s been beaten so far into the ground that it’s hit water. Miz vs. Fandango doesn’t do anything for anyone but at least it gives them something to do.

Goldust talks about Cody living right and how he wants to make up for his past failures by saving Cody’s job tonight. HHH interrupts and says he hopes Goldie doesn’t let them down.

Randy Orton vs. Goldust

If Goldust wins, his real life brother Cody Rhodes gets his job back. Kayfabe takes another bullet as Cole talks about Dustin Rhodes coming here and being given the Goldust character instead of just being a creepy guy who does this on his own idea. JBL drops the Crockett name to confuse most people under the age of 30. Goldust gets in some quick offense and knocks Orton the floor for a breather.

Back in and Orton pounds away but misses a dropkick, giving Goldust two. Orton fires off right hands but Goldust counters the powerslam into a rollup for two. Randy rolls to the floor to avoid Shattered Dreams and we take a break. Back with Goldust sending Randy into the steps but being sent into the post to give the champion momentum all over again. Orton gets two back inside and hits the circle stomp followed by a chinlock.

Goldust fights up and hits a bulldog out of nowhere to put both guys down. The sliding uppercut staggers Orton and Goldie rains down right hands in the corner. Goldust is looking really winded as he gets two off a rollup. Orton comes back with the Elevated DDT but the RKO is countered into Cross Rhodes for two. Not that it matters as the RKO is good for the pin at 14:54.

Rating: C-. Is this supposed to be surprising on any level? On the best day of his career, Goldust was an upper midcarder at best and he’s fighting the reigning WWE Champion. Goldust has never been close to Orton’s level but we’re supposed to believe he can come out of retirement and beat him here? He looked really winded near the end too which didn’t help things.

Post match Orton says he’ll shatter Bryan’s dreams at Night of Champions.

Stephanie “consoles” Goldust by reminding him of all the people he let down and calling him a loser. Oh and tell Dusty that she says hi.

Rob Van Dam vs. Ryback

Del Rio comes out and says that the people will be chanting ADR on Sunday. Ryback shoves Van Dam down to start but gets caught by a kick to the face. An elbow to the jaw puts Rob down and Ryback pounds away before hooking an abdominal stretch. Van Dam escapes and hits the step over kick followed by Rolling Thunder for one. The top rope front flip gets two on Ryback and the top rope kick puts him down again. Ryback bails to the floor to avoid the Five Star but Rob’s dive to the floor only hits barricade. Rob is crotched against the post (barely) for the DQ at 2:58.

Ryback Shell Shocks Van Dam post match.

Stephanie tells Big Show not to touch Shield during the match tonight or he’s fired. Big Show destroys a TV.

Dean Ambrose vs. Daniel Bryan

Big Show and Shield are at ringside. Bryan fires off kicks in the corner to start but Dean comes back with some chops. Daniel gets in some more kicks and Ambrose bails to the floor for a conference. Back in and Daniel kicks away even more before starting on Dean’s arm. The seated surfboard doesn’t last long as Ambrose makes the rope to escape. Bryan flips over Ambrose in the corner and hits the running clothesline followed by a single arm butterfly suplex. Bryan goes up for the headbutt, only to be distracted by Rollins and knocked into the apron as we take a break.

Back with Dean sending Bryan into the buckle but Bryan avoids a charge into the corner. There are the running dropkicks and the kicks in the corner followed by a top rope hurricanrana for two. Dean avoids the big swinging kick to the head but and grabs a rollup for two. Bryan slaps on the YES Lock but Ambrose gets to the rope. Bryan misses another dropkick in the corner and gets rolled up (with trunks) for two.

Dean loads up a superplex but gets crotched down into the Tree of Woe for more kicks. A belly to back superplex gets two on Ambrose as Big Show plays cheerleader. Bryan fires off more kicks to Ambrose but misses a charge and falls to the floor. Reigns’ spear hits the steps and Rollins’ dive hits the announce table. Dean DDTs Bryan on the floor and sends him back inside for two, only to get caught in a small package for the pin by Bryan at 14:08.

Rating: B. Good match here as you would expect from these two. Ambrose is MONEY in the ring and can have a good match against almost anyone. Bryan continues to be on fire with the crowd but the title isn’t changing on Sunday. I’m worried that the reactions are going to die down eventually but they’re still solid enough for now.

Post match Bryan avoids a charge from Ambrose and sends him into the tag champions. Cue Orton but Bryan hits the FLYING GOAT to take him down. Shield is back up though and beats Bryan down but Big Show gets up with a chair. Of course he drops it though as Orton throws Bryan back into the ring for the RKO. Big Show slowly walks up the ramp but HHH and Stephanie come out and order him to knock Bryan out.

Big Show doesn’t want to do it but Orton tells him to follow orders. Orton holds up Bryan for the punch but Big Show won’t do it. Orton throws Bryan down and takes too long yelling at Big Show, allowing Orton to hit the running knee to end the show. This would be the 1st consecutive show to end with Daniel Bryan standing up since he won the WWE Championship.

Overall Rating: C+. I liked this one tonight. It felt like there was an energy tonight that we haven’t had in a few weeks. Things are looking good for Night of Champions, but it feels like it’s going to be a filler show before we get to the next big show. Edge helped a bit but the Goldust match didn’t do much for me. The main event was solid though as Shield continues to have good matches every week. This wasn’t a great show but it did a good job at setting up the PPV, which is the right idea here.

Results

Kofi Kingston b. Curtis Axel via DQ when Axel wouldn’t stop attacking Kingston in the ropes

Bray Wyatt b. Dolph Ziggler – Sister Abigail

Natalya/Brie Bella/Naomi b. Layla/Alicia Fox/Aksana – Sharpshooter to Natalya

Alberto Del Rio b. R-Truth – Cross Armbreaker

Santino Marella b. Antonio Cesaro – Throw

Damien Sandow b. Miz – Rollup

Randy Orton b. Goldust – RKO

Rob Van Dam b. Ryback via DQ when Ryback sent Van Dam into the post

Daniel Bryan b. Dean Ambrose – Small Package

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews, and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at: