ECW on Sci-Fi
Date: October 17, 2006
Location: Jacksonville Memorial Coliseum, Jacksonville, Florida
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re thankfully back to a normal wrestling show this week without the stupid 13 year old fan service. The main event tonight is Big Show vs. Rob Van Dam in a match that could set up a future title shot down the line. Looking at the card, we have five matches packed into an hour long show. That’s not bad at all and hopefully will make up for last week. Let’s get to it.

Matt Striker vs. Sandman

Singapore cane on a pole match. Sandman is already busted open from his entrance. They stare at each other to start before Striker sprints to the corner, because Sandman could never possibly catch him. In a bit smarter move, Striker goes after Sandy’s leg to keep him from being able to climb. Striker misses a middle rope elbow to the knee but Sandman can’t get to the cane. Matt backdrops Sandman off the top and actually gets the cane first. A few shots to Sandman don’t do much as Striker swings and misses, allowing Sandman to get the cane. After a few shots, Striker bails and loses by countout.

Rating: D+. The blood (from both guys) was helpful but this wasn’t even four minutes long. What are you expecting out of a gimmick match that doesn’t even go that long? This was a feud that worked as you kept waiting to see Sandman get to maul the weasel, but it would have been better if Striker was built up some more.

CM Punk vs. Rene Dupree

This is a rematch from last week. Rene slaps him to start, ticking off Punk enough that he charges into a quick hot shot. Rene gets in some more offense but Punk leg lariats him, hits his quick strikes, the Rock Bottom and the Anaconda Vice for the fast tap. This was nothing.

Mike Knox hits the ring post match but Punk is ready for him. Knox bails immediately when Punk calls him into the ring.

Rob talks about working his way back to the top and earning a shot at Big Show tonight. Van Dam says he’s the best at ECW (his words) and he can slay the dragon. He’ll get a shot eventually and he’ll be ready.

Here’s Test with something to say. Joey continues in vain to try to convince us that Test is a completely different guy now that he’s in ECW, as in he’s more intense or something. That’s the problem with most of the guys that came over to ECW: they’re the same guys we’ve seen for so many years and there really isn’t anything different. Test shows us a clip of Holly’s back getting sliced open a few weeks back and another of Test saving Heyman from Holly. Test makes fun of Holly for being out, which brings out Balls Mahoney to challenge him.

Test vs. Balls Mahoney

Balls jumps him to start and gets beaten down for his efforts. Mahoney’s shoulder is sent into the post and it’s off to an armbar because Test is such a known technical wrestler. Balls fights up and hits his signature punches and the Nutcracker Suite for two. Not that it matters though as the big boot takes Balls’ head off and the TKO gets the quick pin. This was just a step above a squash.

Sabu vs. Shannon Moore

For the first time during the intros, December to Dismsmber is mentioned. Oh sweet goodness we’re reaching that time already? Sabu takes him down very quickly and hits a leg lariat, sending Moore to the outside. A big flip dive takes Shannon out again and they head back inside. After some required generic offense from Moore, he misses a Whisper in the Wind style move and a slingshot legdrop gets the pin for Sabu. Another squash here.

Big Show talks about the Champion of Champions match at Cyber Sunday and doesn’t seem concerned about the match tonight.

Big Show vs. Rob Van Dam

Non-title here. They stare each other down for a bit and RVD points at himself. Rob pounds away to start and goes for the legs but gets kicked in the face for his troubles. Show gets guillotined on the top rope and a top rope gets gets two for RVD. Show knocks him to the floor as we take a break. Back with Show in control and dropping some elbows. There’s a chop in the corner and Rob tries some shots to come back, only to get run over again. Rob comes back with more right hands and another top rope kick, followed by Rolling Thunder for two.

Show comes back with a spear but it only gets two. The fans are getting way into this which is kind of surprising given how the match has been going so far. A Vader Bomb Elbow misses but a clothesline puts RVD right back into the corner. The referee gets bumped and Van Dam counters the chokeslam into a DDT. He loads up the Five Star but Test shoves him off the top and stomps away. Test grabs a chair and pokes Van Dam in the ribs with it but Hardcore Holly runs out and hits Test with the chair. Holly cracks Show with the chair twice and the Five Star gives Rob the upset win.

Rating: C+. I wasn’t liking this one at first but once they got rolling with Van Dam staying in there no matter what and trying to find a way to slay the giant I got into it. Someone had to give Show a challenge eventually and there’s no one more popular or credible than Van Dam in ECW. Better match than I was expecting.

Overall Rating: C+. What a difference it is when you get some wrestling instead of some stupid gimmick for the show which was mentioned all of once this entire show. RVD is the best choice for a challenger to Big Show as I don’t think he ever got a full rematch unless it was right after he lost the title. Much better show this week as we’re starting to get to December to Dismember.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 6, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

It’s the final night of the BFG Series and the final spots this Sunday are up for grabs. Other than that, not a ton matters. I’m sure we’ll hear more about the Aces and 8’s stuff from last week, but it’ll be minor to say the least. Also we’ll probably get more of the card set up for Sunday which is desperately needed at this point. Let’s get to it.

We get videos from everyone still in the running for the spots in the Series.

Bound For Glory Series Leaderboard

James Storm 73

Samoa Joe 68

Rob Van Dam 55

Bully Ray 55

AJ Styles 50

Jeff Hardy 49

Kurt Angle 48

Mr. Anderson 47

Christopher Daniels 33

Magnus 33

Robbie E 12

D’Angelo Dinero 7 (injured)

Bound For Glory Series: Samoa Joe vs. Jeff Hardy

I think Joe has clinched a spot already. Jeff tries to work on the arm to start but gets shoved to the floor with ease. Joe follows out and rams Jeff into the steps, but a charge misses and Jeff dives at him off the steps with Poetry In Motion as we take a break. Back with Joe in control again. Apparently Hardy has to win by pin or submission to make it to the PPV and Joe needs a pin or submission to get the #1 spot and to be able to pick his opponent.

Joe hits his corner enziguri and Jeff sells it like he’s dead as always. That gets two so Joe pounds him down again but still only gets two. The fat man is getting frustrated and here comes Jeff’s comeback. He fires off some clotheslines and the mule kick as Joe can’t keep up with the speed all of a sudden. Jeff hits the legdrop between Joe’s legs and a low dropkick for two.

A jawbreaker looks to set up the Swanton but Joe gets up before it’s launched. Twist of Fate is countered into the Clutch but Jeff rams him into the buckle. The Whisper in the Wind hits Joe’s arm and there’s the Twisting Stunner into an arm trap headlock which gets the tap out for Hardy at 12:00.

Rating: B-. Another good match in the Series here although the ending wasn’t great. I think they were going with the shoulder injury from last week with Joe but they barely mentioned it so it was hard to remember. Good stuff here though and they’re both at the PPV anyway so it’s not like it matters much. I’m digging the end of the Series for one reason: the matches matter. That makes it so much better.

We recap Aces and 8’s attacking Aries lately.

Aries runs into Hogan in the back and is told the small guy that attacked him last week is here tonight. Aries has permission to do whatever he needs to take him out which pleases the champ.

Joe has something to say post match but Magnus interrupts him. Magnus says that as a team they were good but it was Joe’s fault they broke up. Magnus forgives Joe for it though and wishes him the best. He walks away and then jumps Joe from behind.

The candidates to face Daniels/Kaz are in the back for the begging to Hogan portion of our show. We have the Rob’s, Chavo/Hernandez and Gunner/Kid Kash. This is your tag team division in TNA people. After they bicker, AJ comes in and says he deserves a shot. Well he deserves them more than Kash/Gunner who already got beat by Chavo/Hernandez. Hogan eliminates AJ immediately. Ok then.

Brooke Hogan makes Tara vs. Tessmacher for the PPV. Brooke still can’t act at all. Gail comes in to yell at Brooke and we get Tara vs. Gail later.

Gail Kim vs. Tara

Well that was quick. Gail takes over to start with her usual kicks and a running shoulder to the ribs in the corner for two. Tara gets a quick sunset flip for two but Gail kicks her down again. A powerslam puts Kim down for no cover but a floatover suplex gets two for Tara. Gail tries to go up but gets caught in the Widow’s Peak off the top for the pin at 3:38.

Rating: C-. It’s absolutely mind blowing how much better this was than anything the Divas have done in months if not over a year. These chicks know how to wrestle a coherent match without looking like they’re going through a memorized script. They look natural is what I mean, and that’s the most important thing they can do.

We recap Joey Ryan’s Gut Check and attack of Snow.

Here’s Al Snow to call out Joey Ryan. Ryan happens to be here and gets in the ring. Snow says give him a mic then tells Ryan to shut up. Ryan has to go through Gut Check again but without judges. Joey says he has nothing to prove as Snow take his jacket off. Ryan finally accepts it but he has to fight Snow to get his contract. Joey says no one wants to see Snow in spandex anymore. Snow slaps Ryan down and Joey bails.

Bully Ray goes to see Joseph Park to ask what Park has found out about Aces and 8’s. Park can’t say because Sting and Hogan are the ones that hired him. Ray says be careful and that’s it.

A security guard puts a guy in a chair and leaves. Aries comes in and I think this is the guy that hit Aries last week. Aries says the guy better talk soon or else.

Back to Hogan’s office and Gunner/Kash are eliminated. Thank goodness.

Bound For Glory Series: Rob Van Dam vs. Bully Ray

Basically it’s winner gets in and loser is out. Ray takes over to start but they’re going very slowly so as not to make any mistakes. Van Dam starts speeding things up and fires off some kicks for two. Ray heads to the floor so Rob hits a big flip dive to take both guys down. Back in and Rob goes up, only to get crotched. Ray tries to pull him down but Van Dam’s leg gets caught in the ropes. Ray pounds away on it for a bit and it’s off to a a leg lock.

The Bully and Hebner get in an argument, allowing Van Dam to hit a shot out of the corner to take over. He pounds Ray in the head and clotheslines him down a few times before hitting the step over spinwheel kick. Rolling Thunder hits for two and a monkey flip out of the corner puts Ray down. Van Dam tries a kick off the middle rope but Ray avoids it and kicks Rob’s head off for two. A Vader Bomb misses and now Van Dam hits the kick he missed a few seconds ago. Van Dam goes up but dives into the Bubba Cutter for the pin at 8:54. Why would Rob dive with Ray already on his feet?

Rating: C+. Pretty good match here as Ray continues to be solid in the ring most of the time. More than anything else, this was a clean win. Rob isn’t going to lose his reaction from the crowd and Ray isn’t going to be pushed into being a face because of it. He won a match clean and there’s nothing wrong with that. Pay attention WWE.

The four in the Series on Sunday are Storm, Joe, Hardy and Ray.

Back to the interrogation. The guy is named Mike and he’s a freelance grip from New York. Aries wants to know what the boss wants with Aries and the title. He pulls out a pair of pliers and threatens to take Mike’s teeth out but Hogan comes in to stop it. Hogan goes after the guy but gets a call, apparently from Aces and 8’s. They want Mike back but Hogan wants the arm breaker one on one with Austin in a trade later. Aries gets the arm breaker on Sunday in exchange for Mike.

Here’s Storm to announce who he faces at the PPV. Storm talks about how he lost at Lockdown and went home but his friends thought something was missing. Then he came back here and beat Crimson before entering the BFG Series. Now he’s on top of that and he has three potential opponents. He asks the three of them to come out and gets his wish all at once. Storm talks about Hardy and Joe before picking Ray. Ray comes to the ring and Storm says he’s getting even for last year when Ray eliminated him.

Rob is in the back with Christy when Magnus comes up and says he thinks Rob isn’t who he used to be. Rob pops him in the jaw and they brawl a bit.

Tag Titles: Christopher Daniels/Kazarian vs. ???/???

It’s Chavo/Hernandez of course. The champions are run out of the ring very quickly and the challengers take over to start. Hernandez and Daniels start and it’s quickly off to Chavo with a slingshot hilo ala Eddie. Back to Hernandez for a bearhug into a belly to belly suplex. Daniels gets in just enough offense on Chavo to tag in Kaz but a hip toss stops him as well. The challengers are tagging in and out very fast. Apparently their name is Tex Mex. Why not I guess.

Daniels comes back in for a few seconds and gets beaten up as well so it’s back to Kaz who gets caught in the over the shoulder backbreaker. Hernandez does the delayed vertical while Chavo hits the Three Amigos on Daniels at the same time. That was pretty awesome. The champs are reeling and we take a break. Back with Daniels beating on Chavo before tagging in Kaz again. A running flip neckbreaker puts Chavo down and it’s back to Daniels who throws him to the floor.

Kaz hooks a double chickenwing but Chavo fights out of it and rolls into the corner to tag Hernandez. There’s the slingshot shoulder and he runs over both champions with ax handles. He and Sheamus have a few similarities in the ring. Hernandez badly screws up an Alpha Bomb and heads up. Chavo hurricanranas his own partner onto Kaz for two as Daniels makes the save.

Chavo dives onto Kaz on the floor as Daniels hits a palm strike to Hernandez. Daniels heads to the floor and Hernandez hits a HUGE dive to take both of them out. Kaz gets splashed in the corner and Daniels brings in a title belt. Hernandez picks up Kaz for something but a belt shot to the ribs lets Kaz roll up SuperMex for the pin at 14:47.

Rating: B. Good stuff here for a match with all of 20 seconds of notice. Daniels and Kaz are better on the mic than they are in the ring which says a lot given how good they are in the ring. I wasn’t expecting much coming into this and they surprised me which is always something fun to see.

Hulk comes out immediately and makes the tag champs vs. Angle/Styles for Sunday.

We run down the card for the PPV. Ion defends against Dutt, RVD vs. Magnus, the Knockouts, the tag titles, the Knockouts and the BFG stuff.

Here’s Aries with Mike to make the deal. He talks about wanting to fight the guy who broke his arm on Sunday but gets impatient. Instead of making the deal, he’s just going to beat Mike until Mike talks. Mike says he’ll talk but a big guy from Aces and 8’s comes out to save him. The big guy knocks Mike out cold before he can talk and brawls with Aries to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. Another good show here as they managed to build most of a card for Sunday while still building up angles at the same time. Getting Aces and 8’s in the ring on Sunday was the next step they had to take eventually and it not being for the title is fine. Given that there’s nothing on the line on Sunday in that match and I still want to see it is a good sign. I’m impressed by how well they did things tonight and that’s a good sign.

Results
Jeff Hardy b. Samoa Joe – Arm trap headlock

Tara b. Gail Kim – Widow’s Peak

Bully Ray b. Rob Van Dam – Bubba Cutter

Christopher Daniels/Kazarian b. Hernandez/Chavo Guerrero – Rollup after a belt shot to Hernandez

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

ECW on Sci-Fi
Date: October 3, 2006
Location: Landon Arena, Topeka, Kansas
Commentators: Joey Styles, Taz

We’re into a new month here as this show is starting to fly by. After last week we’re really right back where we were coming into last week with Show being completely dominant and no opponent for him at the moment. We also have Van Dam standing tall due to his victory over Holly. It’s hard to say what else we’re going to get from here on out. Let’s get to it.

We open with Holly and Heyman in the back, watching a clip from last week of Holly being sliced open like a cabbage. Heyman praises him for finishing the match after being out for a year due to a staph infection. Holly says that’s what he does and he wants Van Dam again tonight. Heyman almost panicking over the thought of a lawsuit is kind of funny stuff and he obviously says no. Holly grabs Heyman but Test pops in and hits Hardcore in the back with a chair. It’s Test vs. Van Dam tonight in an extreme rules match.

Opening sequence.

Sandman/Sabu vs. Big Show/Matt Striker

So I guess Sabu and Big Show are still feuding somehow. Sabu and Show start with the giant being clean shaven now. That’s kind of a good look for him. Show clotheslines Sabu down and tosses him around with ease. Off to Striker and Sabu gets on offense quickly, hitting a springboard leg lariat and some dropkicks to take over. Sabu is knocked to the floor as we take a break. Back with Show coming in to headbutt Sabu down followed by a suplex which gets two for the tagged in Striker.

Striker kicks Sabu low to knock him to the floor again. Striker hooks a cravate and Sabu is in trouble again. Matt goes up but jumps into a spin kick in a bad looking spot. Sandman finally gets the hot tag and the beating begins. Striker tries to go up but Sandman blasts him with a left hand and the Heinekenrana gets two. The White Russian leg sweep is broken up by Show, who splashes Sandman to give Striker the pin.

Rating: D+. The problem here is that this is just a tag match. Sabu can hang in a match for the most part but Sandman is dull when he can’t use his weapons. This was just your standard tag match which bordered on a squash. Show is being put over stronger than almost anyone I’ve ever seen which is good for him but bad for everyone else.

Kelly Kelly and Trinity plug Extreme Strip Poker. Kelly takes her top off and has cards covering her.

Kevin Thorn vs. Tommy Dreamer

Dreamer pounds away to start but gets slammed out of the corner by Thorn. Thorn beats on Tommy but a pumphandle slam is countered into a neckbreaker as Dreamer starts his comeback. The DDT is countered but the second attempt at it gets two due to Thorn being in the ropes. A shot from the cane to Dreamer’s head ends this quick.

Watch the Marine!

Maria will play poker next week and people have been giving her “good” advice on how to play.

CM Punk vs. Danny Doring

Doring tries an early suplex but gets kicked in the ribs. A butterfly backbreaker puts Doring down and Punk fires away with knees in the corner. The knee/bulldog combo sets up a striking sequence followed by the Rock Bottom and Anaconda Vice for the tap. This was barely over a minute.

Kelly pops up on stage and dances for Punk. Knox takes her away and Punk says he’s sick of this. He says Knox’s problem isn’t keeping him away from Kelly, but from keeping Kelly away from him. Knox comes to the ring but backs off. The fans were into this.

Kristal Marshall and Ashley will be playing too.

Test vs. Rob Van Dam

Extreme Rules. Test kicks him in the ribs during the finger pointing which is something you would think a lot more people would do. Van Dam is sent to the floor and Test chokes him on the barricade. Van Dam gets in a kick (were you expecting something else?) but misses the spinning leg to the back of Test, crashing into the barricade instead. Test gets the steps but gets tripped, sending the steps crashing down on top of him. In a cool spot, Van Dam hits Rolling Thunder onto Test onto the steps.

It’s table time and the fans erupt as a result. As always, that takes too much time and Test takes his head off with a clothesline in the ring. Test throws four chairs into the ring and a big boot into one of them into the head of Van Dam gets two. A suplex onto the chair is countered by Van Dam and he pelts the chair at Test’s head ala Sabu. Test goes to the apron but Van Dam can’t knock him through the table. Test tries to suplex him through the table in a repeat of the spot from last week with Holly, but Van Dam countered into a sunset powerbomb through the table in a great spot.

We take a break and come back with the arrival of Heyman and security. Back inside and Test low blows Van Dam but Rob manages to clothesline him on the top rope. The recoil sends Van Dam to the floor and the security guards pound on Rob for a bit. That gets two for Test back inside and the Canadian is getting frustrated. Somewhere in there a chair was wedged between the top and middle rope and Rob is launched head first into said chair. Somehow that only gets two and Test is stunned.

Off to a bearhug as Van Dam is in even more trouble. Van Dam escapes but a BIG chair shot to the head gets two. Test removes the buckle from a corner but RVD blocks the shot into it and this a spinwheel kick to put both guys down. Rob goes to the floor for another chair because the four in the ring weren’t enough I guess. After threatening the guards with the chair, he skateboards it into Test’s face in the corner. He loads up Rolling Thunder onto the chair but Test moves, sending Rob’s back into chair only.

With the chair on Van Dam’s face, Test goes up and drops a Cactus Jack elbow (as in he had a chair of his own and slammed it into the other chair) off the top…..for two. Test loads up another table but his powerbomb through it is countered into a sunset flip for two. Snake Eyes onto the exposed buckle is countered and Van Dam hits the top rope kick. After dispatching the guards, Van Dam loads up the Five Star through the table but Big Show comes out and shoves him through the table. A TKO from Test finally gets the pin.

Rating: B. Van Dam is on a roll right now and I’m digging this war with Heyman and his team of lackeys as he’s building up to the big rematch with Show. Test looked good here and after the match last week with Holly, I think it’s fair to call Van Dam an official miracle worker. Another strong match here which would probably be the best match of the week in WWE.

Overall Rating: B. With Van Dam being on fire like he is now, ECW is on a total roll. There are finally clear stories going on up and down the card with Van Dam vs. Heyman being a highlight. The main issue I see with it though is next week. The show ended with Joey guaranteeing someone losing their clothes next week. That flat out is not going to happen, or at least we won’t be able to see it. Also it’s annoying when that’s the focus of the show instead of the good action we’ve been getting. Either way, good show here as ECW has finally gotten it.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

ECW on Sci-Fi
Date: September 26, 2006
Location: Tulsa Convention Center, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Commentators: Joey Styles, Taz

We’re in Oklahoma so I’ll bet JR gets messed with somehow tonight. Other than that we’ve got a world title match with the most decorated former world champion in ECW history, the Sandman, challenging Big Show. Other than that we get the blowoff match with RVD and Hardcore Holly which has a semi-famous spot in it. Let’s get to it.

After the theme song, Joey and Taz basically say what I said in the intro.

Here’s JR to open the show. This can’t end well. He thanks Joey and Taz for inviting him, starting a brief argument over who invited him between the announcers. JR mentions getting started in Mid-South in this area a long time ago. He starts talking about how much he likes ECW when Matt Striker interrupts him.

Striker says JR is a blue collar worker and has the shirt to prove it. He gets in JR’s face about liking alcohol, just like Sandman. Striker keeps going on until Sandman comes in with the cane. Sandman gets in a shot to the ribs and hands the cane off to JR. Ross gets in a pretty good shot to the back and Striker bails in shame. JR toasts Sandman, the new ECW Champion, and beer is consumed.

Video on Eric Bischoff’s book, set to look like an old NWO promo. Basically he says he’ll tell the real story. I’ll give him this: I want to read the book now.

Extreme Strip Poker is coming. Oh geez.

Hardcore Holly says he’ll do his talking in the ring. Riveting stuff here.

Rob Van Dam vs. Hardcore Holly

Extreme Rules. Van Dam takes over to start and sends Holly into the corner. A superkick puts Holly down but it’s time to pose before Van Dam follows up. Out to the floor they go but Van Dam’s posing gets him in trouble again. Holly gets draped over the barricade and there’s the spin kick to the back. Van Dam loads up a table to the crowd’s delight but Holly blasts him in the back and sends him into the steps to take over.

Van Dam fires off more kicks and they head back inside, only to charge into Holly’s boot in the corner. A back elbow to the face puts Van Dam down and Holly goes to the apron for a suplex onto the aforementioned table. The suplex hits and we go to a break, coming back to see a MASSIVE gash in Holly’s back. That is sick looking and he would have a scar for the rest of his WWE career.

Holly sets up a chair in the middle of the ring and drops Van Dam’s throat across the chair for two. With the chair over Van Dam’s face, Holly drops a middle rope leg for another two. There is blood all over Holly’s back. Van Dam comes back with a suplex onto the chair and blood SQUIRTS out of Holly’s back. That is freaking SICK. There’s the monkey flip and you can tell Holly is having to land awkwardly. The top rope kick puts Holly down and Van Dam gets the chair. There’s the skateboard dropkick into the corner and Holly is looking dead.

Rolling Thunder onto the chair onto Holly gets two. Van Dam tries another monkey flip but gets powerbombed down onto the chair for another close two. This is good stuff. Van Dam puts the chair on Hardcore’s chest and loads up the Five Star, but Holly throws the chair at his face on the way down. THAT gets two and the fans think this is awesome. Alabama Slam is countered so Holly gets the chair. However, YOU CAN’T HOLD A CHAIR IN FRONT OF VAN DAM! Van Daminator sets up the Five Star to finally beat Holly.

Rating: B+. That’s partially for the guts Holly had on display here. Take that either figuratively or literally as both are appropriate. This is easily Holly’s best match ever and one of the best matches that aired on this show. Really good stuff here and the cut on Holly’s back is insane.

Punk talks about being addicted to competition and wanting to compete with the biggest and the best. Kelly comes up and raves over Punk’s tattoos. She talks about extreme strip poker but is sad she can’t get into casinos yet. Kelly asks Punk to play extreme strip poker with him but he thinks that’s trouble. Knox comes up and gets in Punk’s face. Punk says worry about your woman because she keeps trying to get into his yard. Knox says he’s going to straighten Kelly out then he’s coming to look for Punk. Punk will be waiting.

Watch the Marine! No seriously, almost no one else did so could you please?

Ariel vs. Francine

This is an Extreme Catfight. Brawl to start, Ariel’s top comes off, Kevin Thorn comes in, Balls Mahoney makes the save, we’re done. This lasted like a minute.

Video on Sandman.

Heyman and Big Show are in the back talking about the main event. Show says he’s not worried about Sandman and wants Heyman and the security to stay in the back. The cane will be legal tonight and Heyman doesn’t seem happy.

Rene Dupree gets out of the shower in a towel. He says he’s extreme and opens the towel, looks down, and smiles. WWE before it was PG ladies and gentlemen.

ECW World Title: Big Show vs. Sandman

I love how Roberts says world title. We join this in progress after a break with Sandy pounding on Show with the cane and totally dominating. They head to the floor for more cane shots and Show is busted open. Holly needed 24 stitches to close the cut on his back. Sweet goodness that was a bad cut. Show comes back with a loud chop and some headbutts.

Things slow down a lot but that’s understandable in this case. A big right hand takes Sandman down and here’s the chokeslam. Sandman counters and hits a DDT before grabbing the cane. A middle rope cane shot to the head gets two but here’s Striker to steal the cane. The cobra clutch backbreaker and standing legdrop keep the title on Big Show.

Rating: D+. This is ECW 101 at this point: build up a challenger of the week and then have Big Show maul him. There’s nothing wrong with that as they need to dispatch these challengers before we get to the guy that can finally beat Big Show. Not a good match here or anything but for a TV main event like this it was acceptable.

Overall Rating: B. Given the opening match and the good shots of Ariel almost falling out of her top and a decent main event, this is probably the best ECW show yet. That Holly vs. Van Dam match was good back then and it’s aged well with the two guys beating the tar out of each other for almost twenty minutes. Good show here and hopefully they keep this up in the future.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

One Night Stand 2006
Date: June 11, 2006
Location: Hammerstein Ballroom, New York City, New York
Attendance: 2,460
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

I don’t think I’ve ever had a series of shows nearly demanded as much as this one so here they are. Since Great American Bash 2000 is still not done I’ll start this series and do all three in a row. This is the second One Night Stand (Two Night Stand? I hope there was at least breakfast in between) and is the first show in WWECW, as the show has been revived. Heyman has selected Angle and RVD over to his show so tonight Angle has an open challenge and RVD is cashing in MITB against Cena in a rather famous match. Let’s get to it.

We open with a shot of the crowd and HERE’S THE BOSS! That song he had which was the theme music for ECW on TNN is still awesome. He speaks for everyone that lived the dream to be a wrestler instead of a superstar and says that the tribe of extreme has risen again. They’re going to pour their Kool-Aid down the throats of everyone and it starts here tonight. The fans chant Thank You Paulie. This is because of the fans, not Vince. Heyman says he’ll be around for the fans and says this is better than Raw and Smackdown. The guy believed in what he had if nothing else.

Theme song plays us in.

Taz vs. Jerry Lawler

They had feuded with their commentaries for weeks leading up to this. Oh before I forget: there was a show called WWE vs. ECW on a Wednesday where Big Show jumped. That show will likely be referenced a lot tonight. Lawler of course is booed out of the building. The good thing though is Lawler is one of the best natural heels that has ever walked the face of the earth so this is no problem for him.

He goes over and slaps Joey before going to the ring. The strap goes down as the bell goes off but Joey comes in and jumps on his back. Piledriver attempt but Taz grabs the Tazmission and we’re done in 30 seconds via chokeout. Exactly what it should have been and a great way to protect Taz who can’t wrestle due to his neck.

We get a clip of the previously mentioned Wednesday show where Show turned. He and Orton were the last two in and Show pulled off his Raw shirt to reveal an ECW one. Well they had to give them some star power. On the same show Cena had a hardcore match with Sabu but Show saved Sabu from tapping and a massive brawl ended the show.

Taz jumps in on commentary.

Randy Orton vs. Kurt Angle

Orton does his pose on the corner and Joey hates there being fireworks in ECW. This was an open challenge to anyone from any ring “4 sided, 6 sided or 8 sided.” Orton accepted it on Monday so this wasn’t a shock. Angle is of course over like no other here and that whole psycho thing worked well for him. The arena is all smoky now and the vulgar cheers begin. Orton hits the floor and the fans aren’t thrilled at all, chanting pussy at him.

Ankle lock doesn’t work so the fans chant Angle’s Gonna Kill You. Off to a headlock in the ring as the fans curse Orton out like no other. Angle goes for the ankle again and Orton bails again. The crowd is getting to him too. Kurt grabs a double leg with ease and takes Randy down and works him like there’s no tomorrow. Angle offers Randy a free shot and says here, give me a headlock.

Kurt escapes again with a suplex but gets sent into the post to give Randy his first actual advantage. Randy hammers away and Kurt is like screw it and charges him, taking him down with ease again. That seems to be a theme in this match. The fans think Randy can’t wrestle. This is the same company that said guys like Balls Mahoney were great too.

Kurt grabs a half nelson and cranks on the arm but Orton grabs a chinlock instead. The crowd LOUDLY chants boring which I can’t say I disagree with. Angle finally wakes up and snaps off a German but can’t capitalize. They slug it out and Angle is able to get some clotheslines to take over. Another German and let’s Roll with those.

Snap dropkick gets two for Orton as the fans stay on him. Angle reverses into a belly to back because he likes to suplex people. Angle Slam hits for a long two because the Angle Slam isn’t really a finisher, namely due to it never finishing anyone. Ankle lock is reversed and there’s the backbreaker. Top rope cross body is rolled through for two for Kurt. RKO is countered into an ankle lock attempt but that fails. The next attempt doesn’t though and Orton taps.

Rating: B-. Pretty good match here but the chemistry was way off. Angle was destroying Orton out there and went into this big rush whenever Orton got anything going, making Orton look like an idiot out there. In one sense that’s fine but at the same time the match was kind of a mess because Orton never could get anything going. Angle would be gone in two months though so they didn’t really have to deal with it.

ECW is going to have house shows.

FBI vs. Tajiri/Super Crazy

Guido and Mamaluke here with a guy named Big Guido. The fans all chant welcome back to all four guys, even though some of them were here last year. Mamaluke isn’t tiny like he was back in the day of ECW. Tajiri breaks up a key lock by Mamaluke to tick off the Italians. Joey and Taz make fun of the whole Mexicool idea as the fans chant Nacho Libre. Technical stuff of course to start as that’s what you should expect from these guys.

Short arm scissors goes on and Crazy lifts Mamaluke up ala British Bulldog vs. Shawn Michaels. Taz says it’s like Backlund who is more famous for it I guess. Off to Tajiri (big pop) and Guido with the fans chanting for ECW in general. Guido grabs a very quick Fujiwara armbar but Tajiri gets a rope. That came out of nowhere. Guido really was good when he got going out there.

Tajiri gets something like an inbred cousin of the Tequila Sunrise which doesn’t last long. Tree of Woe for Guido and everything breaks down quickly. Double Tree of Woe and almost stereo baseball slides into the Italians. Crazy tries for the triple moonsaults but totally misses the bottom rope one and Mamaluke saves Guido from the others. Asai moonsault takes out the Italians though and everyone is down.

Big Guido finally gets into this and beats up Crazy like there’s nothing there. Crazy vs. Mamaluke now and Tony (Mamaluke’s first name if I missed that) throws on some fast submissions which get him nowhere. Guido kicks Crazy in the face and Tajiri is like GIMMICK INFRINGEMENT and kicks the Italians in half.

One man flapjack by Crazy sets up the tag to Tajiri and the kicks are on again. Octopus goes on Mamaluke as this has been about 1.1 sided. Handspring elbow takes out the Italians and a big kick to Guido gets two as it all breaks down again. Double Tarantula to the Italians as this is shifting to 1.05 sided. The good guys (I guess) try to take out Big Guido with kicks and that actually works. Some giant. Crazy gets taken down so Tajiri beats up the Italians for a bit until they catch him in a double Fisherman’s Buster to end it.

Rating: C. Really not sure if I agree with that ending as Tajiri was WAY more popular than anyone else in there. The Italians were a team that was funny when they had the joke right but then towards the end they blew it by making them just a regular tag team. Really not sure I get the ending there but not a bad match at all.

Big Show comes out and beats everyone up, including having what I guess is a big showdown with Big Guido.

ECW on Sci-Fi debuts Tuesday.

JBL pops up in the balcony with some other WWE guys behind him to run down WCW. The fans chant homosexual slurs which JBL has no issues shouting back at them. We get references to the Blue Meanie incident last year where JBL legitimately beat up Meanie during the big brawl to end the show. This goes into a huge anti-ECW rant where he praises Vince and bashes everything ECW stood for. This is great heel stuff and the crowd reaction mostly proves it. Oh and now JBL is the voice of Smackdown.

Get the ECW book!

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Sabu

Rey is booed out of the freaking building. Naturally he’s only the World Champion here instead of the World Heavyweight Champion because that’s how they roll here. This is under extreme rules, like every other match here should be but of course isn’t because that’s not the WWE way. Rey has a chair during the big match intros. Sabu grabs one before the bell and the fans are totally behind Sabu. Joey: “Mixed reaction here for Rey.” Taz: “Nah they’re booing him.”

After some basic wrestling stuff they duel with the chairs and guess who wins that. Air Sabu in the corner but Rey gets a drop toehold to break up the Triple Jump Moonsault. 619 misses and you would think Rey had just banned rainbows. BIG chair shot sends Rey to the floor and the brawl is on. It’s table time with the table set up as a bridge between the ring and the railing.

Rey is placed on it but moves as Sabu starts setting up. Sabu gets sent into the steps and a moonsault press gets two for Rey. Camel clutch by Sabu which draws a Sheik chant. Naturally he lets it go to grab a table. Arabian Facebuster has Rey in trouble as he left the table on the floor. Table is set up in front of the aisle but Rey knocks him onto it and hits a seated senton through it to put both guys down in the aisle.

Sabu’s arm is messed up and Rey tries something like Air Sabu in the corner but Sabu gets out of the way and hits a springboard leg lariat to take Rey down. Triple Jump Moonsault gets a close two. It was more like a knee drop to the face but close enough. Sabu gets all ticked off and pelts the chair at the head of Rey to take him down. Onto the bridged table from earlier and a big front flip dive over the top through the table takes both guys out. And here are some suits to say that they can’t continue and we’re done. I’ll spare you a very long rant about how stupid this is.

Rating: C+. This would have been higher if this had a finish. Rey wasn’t used to being hated like this so they went against it for the sake of having a decent match. That being said, taking the superhero out of the match in case it got too extreme is incredibly stupid. Oh screw it. Here’s that rant I mentioned.

This is the first shot to killing ECW. Let’s take a look at some of Sabu’s more famous stuff. He’s ripped open a bicep and glued it back together to continue a match. He’s had to be cut out of barbed wire after winning a match. He’s been set on fire. He’s been put through more tables than you can count. He’s been beaten up, stomped on, kicked, smacked around, choked out and everything else you can think of, but here he can’t continue because of going through a single table.

Just think about that for a minute. How weak does that make him look? The old grizzled hero of the people now can’t take a single shot through a table by doctors’ orders. How many times do you remember a doctor being around in ECW? The very idea of a DQ in ECW was blasphemy. You can see right here how it’s a WWE show and not an ECW show at all.

This would be a sign of things to come for the company as I’ sure you remember the Zombie being on the first show on Sci-Fi. Yes, as in a dead guy that craves human flesh. It’s as stupid as it sounds. Anyway, ECW was dead and the proof should have started right here. Stupid moment as even Rey winning on a fluke pin would have made more sense here. Just terribly stupid and a way to make ECW look weak from the get go.

Anyway take a guess as to how the fans take this one. The replay shows that it was more or less a jumping DDT to Rey so he should be hurt a good deal worse.

We recap Edge/Foley vs. Dreamer/Funk. Foley and Edge had a great hardcore match at Mania and declared that he and Edge were the best hardcore guys ever. Funk and Dreamer protested and we have a match. Heyman went off on Foley, saying he was a prostitute. Oh and Edge and Foley were declared co-hardcore champions. Foley says everyone in ECW is jealous because he got the star power that none of them did. Heyman made the required tag match.

Edge/Mick Foley vs. Tommy Dreamer/Terry Funk

Foley is booed out of the building but we have promos before the match. He says he did sell out, but he means Madison Square Garden. He loved ECW at the point when it was run by a true visionary, so let’s hear it for Stephanie McMahon! Long live the Alliance! Funny stuff. Here’s Edge with Lita. Edge says this is ECW’s Christmas but Heyman is Santa. Then they’re going to go home and text their imaginary girlfriends that the show was great then get on the internet and pleasure themselves to his actual girlfriend. Funny stuff again. Lita says the fans get little action and runs down Beaulah.

The cover of Man in the Box comes on to keep the riot from starting. Even Beaulah is here so let’s make it a six man/woman.

Edge/Mick Foley/Lita vs. Tommy Dreamer/Terry Funk/Beaulah McGillicutty

Always thought Beaulah looked great. Wonder if she’s related to Michael. Beaulah is in heels so this isn’t going to go well for her. Catfight to start but the guys pull them back. Edge and Dreamer start us off and they actually wrestle a bit. Off to Foley and Funk quickly who wrestle a bit also. Actually I’d give that to Funk. He might be better at it even though he’s a bit out of practice. Foley isn’t sure he wants to do this and tries to leave. Yep here’s the brawl.

Dreamer grabs some water to send into Edge’s face as Funk hammers on Foley with whatever he takes a notion to. The girls are still chilling on the apron as weapons come into the ring. There aren’t going to be any more tags at all are there? I really wouldn’t expect a lot of play by play from this point on. Baseball slide into a garbage can into Foley’s head. Edge takes over on Dreamer and it’s ladder time already.

The old dudes go up the aisle and it’s so nice to see WWE production values here where they know how to go back and forth and keep up with the action rather than seeing the tops of people’s heads and calling it following the action. Ladder goes upside Dreamer’s head but a spear is hiptossed and Edge lands on the ladder. Funk and Foley get back in and it’s windmill with the ladder time.

Funk, a spry 61 here, goes up the ladder only for Edge to dump it over and have him crash down onto the mat below. Dreamer sets for the Dreamer Driver on Edge but Lita finally does something, breaking up the Driver. Foley and Edge find a big plywood board. Uh…ok? They find another one covered in barbed wire. NOW THAT’S MORE LIKE IT! They slam it down on Dreamer who gets it caught in his skin.

They try to do it again but Funk pulls their feet out and it lands on the heels, including Edge’s face. The fans, ever the nice guys, chant that they want fire. Barbed wire board is set up in the corner and it’s time for some punching on Foley before he gets thrown through the board. Dreamer is crotched on the railing outside as the fans think this is awesome. I’d be inclined to agree for once.

Foley manages to throw the board onto Funk and has Lita get even more barbed wire. It gets wrapped around Foley’s arm and he rams it into Funk’s head. Terry is bleeding all over and shakes like a fish as is his custom. Foley rams the wire into his face for good measure so the referees take Funk out as he screams about his eye. The fans want Sandman but get a barbed wire ball bat instead.

That goes into Dreamer’s anatomy, including his balls due to the leg drop from Lita. Mick pulls out a pair of socks to really tick the fans off. Foley goes ultra heel by putting the Claw on Beaulah, setting Dreamer off. He gets caught in the hold anyway and Edge spears him half to death. Edge and Lita go after Beaulah and Edge bends her over in front of him. Where are Trish and HHH when you need them for pointers?

Instead it’s Funk, coming through the crowd with a big bandage around his head and a 2×4 wrapped in barbed wire. The distraction lets Dreamer hit a pair of low blows and Beaulah chases Lita off. Funk blasts them both with the board and then in the words of Bubba Ray Dudley, why don’t we just light it on fire? Funk drills Edge with it then hits Foley, sending him through the barbed wire board which Foley said was absolute agony on a commentary I heard for this match.

Funk gets dropped on top of him but Dreamer takes down Edge, putting him in a Crossface but instead of choking him he wraps barbed wire around his face and pulls back on it. FREAKING OW MAN!!! Catfight ensues and Dreamer gives Lita a Death Valley Driver and is all fired up but Edge grabs an Edge-O-Matic with the barbed wire. Spear to Beaulah and a cover with Edge putting her legs in the air and bouncing up and down on her ends this absolute war.

Rating: A-. Freaking WAR here as these four absolutely destroyed each other in the name of violence and revenge. Edge looked like a superstar which was the point of this whole thing. This is easily the match of the show and is well worth seeing if you’re a fan of big old violent wars. The WWE camera work helps a lot here too as they barely missed anything which is a major upgrade over the regular ECW production values. Check this one out as it’s great stuff and very violent but in a good way.

We take some time to clean up the carnage. Funk is still in barbed wire and him giving instructions on how to get him out of it is funny for some reason.

Cena is in the back and the heat is unreal.

RVD is getting ready and the fans are a bit more pleased.

Balls Mahoney vs. Masato Tanaka

Taz (sans sunglasses) makes fun of Balls being from Nutley, New Jersey. What are the odds of that one? These two used to be tag champions. Show of respect to start as the fans are totally behind Tanaka. He has a bad shoulder too. Tanaka hammers away to start but walks into a powerslam and some punches. Mahoney is sent to the floor so Tanaka dives on him to start a brawl outside.

Balls wants a beer so he takes a sip and drills Tanaka with the rest of it. Running chair shot misses as a fan has a sign that says pork. No one ever said they made sense. Back in now and Tanaka gets a superplex for two. Balls gets one of his own and screw it let’s have a chair duel. A huge shot from Mahoney is enough to end it, which is a bit hard to buy after the war Tanaka and Awesome had last year.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match to give the fans a breather which is probably a good idea. This was a rematch from some original PPV I think but that wasn’t referenced. To be fair though it’s not like there was a point to this one so I can’t blame them for that one. Just a match here and there’s nothing bad about that.

We recap RVD winning MITB at Mania and saying he wasn’t sure when to cash it in. He picked One Night Stand which makes perfect sense from his perspective actually. This gets the music video treatment.

The announcer gets ready to announce the match but here’s Eugene instead. Oh I don’t see this ending well at all. He says he loves ECW and says he’s Bischoff’s nephew which was forgotten by this time I think. He says he’s hardcore and thinks the boos are U for Eugene. He has a poem about ECW and the announcers blast this beyond belief.

Eugene gets through a few verses and says he wants to hug everyone…..and here’s Sandman to not Enter Sandman. The entrance takes forever but the destruction of Eugene….gee this isn’t a nice place is it? That was the inherent flaw in the Eugene character but that’s par for the course in wrestling. Eugene runs during the beating which is rather intelligent.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Rob Van Dam

After an extended entrance from RVD, it’s time for the moment that this show is remembered for. Cena’s entrance is a sight to behold as you will never, ever see more heat on one guy no matter how long you live. There’s the famous “If Cena Wins We Riot” sign but the thing here is: they really will riot.

The start of the song gets just booing but when he steps through the curtain it’s on. You see nothing but middle fingers as he comes down the aisle and Cena holds the title up like a boxer would and just soaks it in. The big match intros make it even worse. They throw his hat and shirt back, which says a lot actually. Then they do it again. Make it three times. Would you believe four? The thing to remember: there are only 2,500 people here. Watch this match and you would seriously think it was a 15,000 seat arena. It’s that bad.

There’s the bell and Cena is shaken up. There’s the FU already. The chant to Cena, not the move. Toilet paper comes in and this is insane. They lock it up a few times and Cena shoves him into the corner as the fans say you can’t wrestle. This is Extreme Rules which I forgot to mention. Perfectplex gets two. Every single move Cena makes is being booed even louder and it seems to be legit getting to him. Can’t say I blame him but it’s weird to see from Cena.

RVD kicks him to the floor and is nothing less than divine here. They butt heads in the ring and slug it out. Powerslam gets two for the champ and a clothesline sends him to the floor. The fans chant “same old stuff” but in a bit more colorful way. Cena goes up top and drops a forearm from the top and sends Van Dam into the table. Now the fans think he’s overrated. RVD gets a moonsault press off the steps to take over out of nowhere.

Cena reverses an Irish Whip and down goes the cameraman. Out into the crowd which I give Cena legit credit for doing as I’d be scared of being stabbed or something. Cena gets draped over the railing and Van Dam hits that spinning legdrop to take both guys down. Back to the ring now but Rob gets a baseball slide and a slingshot guillotine legdrop for no cover. Skateboard chair shot in the corner gets a close two.

Rolling Thunder lands on the chair but a delay in the cover means only two. Split legged moonsault (take notes Morrison) eats knees (take better notes) and Cena gets a DDT on the chair which no one sells like Van Dam. The fans remind him that he can’t wrestle. I wonder if Vince gave the guys a similar speech when they changed the company name. With a chair wedged between the ropes, Cena gets a slingshot to send RVD’s head into it for a close two.

Cena shows he has a massive set and does You Can’t See Me and the Five Knuckle Shuffle which is about as evil as you can get in ECW. FU is countered and a double leg spin kick takes Cena down. Cena cranks it up but a charge eats boot. The kick off the top is just ducked and Van Dam crashes. Crowd chants YOU STILL SUCK. RVD tries to sit Cena on the top rope (the rope itself, not the corner) but drops him to the floor. Dropkick sends Cena into the railing and it’s table time.

Table is set up in the corner by Van Dam but he turns around into the STFU. There’s a rope after a long crawl but does he really have to break it in an extreme rules match? The referee gets in Cena’s face so Cena drills him with a clothesline and crotches Rob on the top. Superplex but there’s no referee.

Cena brings in the steps and DRILLS Van Dam with them as I guess he’s a heel now as far as this match goes. A Smackdown referee comes in to count two and it’s FU time. RVD grabs the ropes so Cena sends him over the top instead. Out of NOWHERE a guy in a helmet and trenchcoat pops up to spear Cena through the table.

The helmet comes off and it’s Edge. Crowd: THANK YOU EDGE! THANK YOU EDGE! THANK YOU EDGE! This is the guy that tried to kill Tommy Dreamer earlier remember. Van Dam is like ok (Joey: Do it Rob, we’ll take it!”) and the Five Star hits as Heyman comes out to count the pin. This actually counted because Heyman was a WWE big shot or something like that. More or less he was the ECW GM.

Rating: B+. This is more for the crowd than the match for once. No question about it: this is required viewing to show what is meant by having the crowd make a match better than it should be. The people made RVD Cena’s equal and that was a big leap for him at this point. There was no other option for the ending, if nothing else for fear of the WWE guys’ safety. Good match, absolutely amazing visual.

RVD celebrates in the crowd as the locker room has a beer bash in the ring. Does anyone else find it really funny that Heyman never made Van Dam world champion but Vince and later Bischoff did?

Overall Rating: A. While it’s a step below last year’s, this was an awesome show with FAR better in ring stuff including two must see matches and some other decent stuff. This felt like a PPV instead of a reunion and that’s what it was supposed to be. Great show as everyone was working hard and it seemed like there was a reason for ECW to come back. Granted Van Dam was busted for drug possession in about three weeks and dropped the title and Angle would be in TNA in about four months, but we can let that go for the sake of a great show. Well worth seeing for multiple reasons.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Impact Wrestling
Date: August 30, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

Tonight is likely to be about Aces and 8’s again, but they really need to talk about the PPV. If my math is right, there’s only one match announced, and that’s the finals of the BFG Series, which may or may not be three matches. Other than that though, I don’t think anything is set. Then again it’s a throwaway show anyway. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s show. This is followed by the ending brawl from last week’s show where Aries’ hand/arm was broken.

Here’s Aries to open things up. He has a cast on his right hand but he holds the title up with it anyway. Aries talks about Aces and 8’s pulling off something major last week. He isn’t medically cleared to wrestle tonight, but he can fight. Also, they broke his right hand, but he punches with his left. Aries wants the leader to come out here tonight and fight him.

Instead (I hope) here are Hogan and Sting. Hogan rants about Aces and 8’s and thanks Sting for helping while Hogan was gone. Hulk is in charge again and says Aries can have whatever he wants. Aries says he wants the boss of Aces and 8’s again and here they are on the monitor. They seem to be celebrating and the leader says they’ll do things on their own time. They’ll be out here later on.

ODB calls Eric and says that if he doesn’t call back in ten minutes, they’re done. There’s no call and ODB says he has another five minutes. It goes over and hour and it’s still not over. She gives him until next week and wants fried chicken.

Bound For Glory Series Leaderboard

James Storm 66

Samoa Joe 61

Rob Van Dam 55

Bully Ray 55

AJ Styles 50

Kurt Angle 48

Mr. Anderson 47

Jeff Hardy 42

Christopher Daniels 33

Magnus 28

Robbie E 12

D’Angelo Dinero 7

Bound For Glory Series: Rob Van Dam vs. James Storm

Basically if Van Dam wins he clinches a spot in the final four but he still has another shot. Storm is more or less a lock already. Apparently whoever has the most points gets to pick who he faces in the semi-finals at No Surrender. Ok so it’s three matches at the PPV. Feeling out process to start with Storm getting a small advantage via a headlock. A kick from Van Dam and a forearm from Storm get two each.

They both fire away in the corner and no one can get an advantage again. Apparently whoever loses between Angle and Hardy is out of the running. Van Dam sends him to the floor and hits a big dive to take Storm out as we take a break. Back with Storm hitting a clothesline for two. Van Dam kicks him down again and hits Rolling Thunder for another near fall.

A running DDT from Storm gets another two and Eye of the Storm gets the same. Van Dam sends him into the corner and hits a yelling monkey flip to put Storm down. This is good back and forth stuff. Rob tries another monkey flip in the other corner but jumps into the superkick. It hit the chest but it gets the pin for Storm at 11:13.

Rating: B-. Good stuff here although the lack of transitions and the finish bring it down a bit. Still though, these two had good chemistry out there and it basically locks up a spot in the final four for Storm while giving Van Dam a need to win over whoever he faces next week. Good solid match here.

Here’s Madison who says she has her rematch for the title tonight. That’s not what she gets though.

ODB vs. Madison Rayne

ODB spits the liquid courage at Madison and starts very fast. The Bam (TKO) finishes this in 25 seconds.

Post match here’s Eric in a suit with fried chicken. He wants to leave with her but ODB doesn’t like the suit because that’s not the Eric she married. Eric doesn’t like it either so he strips. ODB eats chicken and jumps on him.

AJ says he’s glad the Clair stuff is behind him. Right now though, he’s focusing on the BFG Series.

The judges debate the Gut Check guy from last week. They don’t seem that impressed.

Hogan and Sting debate who gets to do something. Hogan wants a slow buildup to whatever they’re doing. Sting waves in Daniels and Kaz who beg to not be fired. Hogan yells at them a lot and says they’re what’s wrong with this business today. No, not really Hulk. They have to defend the titles sometime soon apparently. Sting scares the appletini out of Daniels’ glass to send the champions away. Hogan and Sting argue over the use of each others’ catchphrases.

Bound For Glory Series: Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles

This should be good. Feeling out process to start but Joe blocks the drop down/kick because he knows AJ that well. AJ bails to the floor for a second before coming back in to continue feeling each other out. A clothesline puts AJ down but he nips up into a headscissors to send Joe into the corner. Joe is too heavy to suplex, but Joe misses a kick and AJ goes for the leg.

Joe kicks AJ off so AJ dropkicks Joe’s head off to send him to the floor. There’s a bit dive but Joe kicks him on the way down. AJ looks like he got snapped by a very wet towel. Back in and the snap powerslam gets two for the Samoan from LA. AJ gets chopped down and there’s an STF from the fat one. That doesn’t work so Joe switches over to the Rings of Saturn. AJ finally gets a rope so Joe kicks his head off.

The backsplash misses so AJ hits the springboard forearm. He Pele’s the arm that Magnus injured with the chair a few weeks back but Joe blocks a cross armbreaker. AJ charges at Joe in the corner, only to get Rock Bottomed down. The Clutch is countered into a pair of rollups for two but the second is countered into the Clutch but it’s not fully on. AJ escapes that and puts on the armbreaker, but Joe rolls on top of him for the pin at 8:10.

Rating: B. These two are good by definition and I really liked this one. Give this another five to eight minutes and it’s a classic. The idea of AJ going for the submission is a logical idea given the points system and Joe being able to counter all of them was the perfect story to go with. See? Psychology isn’t that hard and it works very well.

Time for Gut Check. Lewie says that he gave his best effort but also says he gets better every day. Taz says no. Pritchard says no as well thank goodness. Joey ryan pops up with a megaphone and goes off on Snow before throwing a drink on him. Snow has to be held back. That doesn’t last long and Snow chases Ryan out of the arena.

Joseph Park asks Sting and Hogan if he can investigate Aces and 8’s. Hulk agrees, presumably to get Park to leave him alone.

Bound For Glory Series: Jeff Hardy vs. Kurt Angle

Both guys basically have to win. They have a ton of time too so this should be good. Angle almost immediately takes Hardy to the mat and puts on an armbar. Hardy counters into one of his own but Kurt will have none of that. Jeff headscissors him to the floor and hits a clothesline off the apron to take both guys down. Jeff kicks him in the corner but Kurt comes out with a clothesline as we take a break.

Back with Hardy using his fast paced comeback, including the legdrop between the legs and a low dropkick for two. That just fires Kurt up and it’s rolling Germans time. Hardy comes back with a Twisting Stunner for two followed by the Whisper in the Wind for the same. Angle snaps off a belly to belly and there go the straps.

A big Angle Slam gets two and why is Kurt surprised by that? Seriously, why? Ankle lock is countered into a rollup and a Twist of Fate. Swanton hits perfectly but only gets a very close two. Ankle lock is countered again and the mule kick looks to set up the Swanton again, but Kurt runs the ropes. Jeff shoves him off (good thing too as Angle was in the middle of the ring) and the second Swanton gets the pin at 11:15.

Rating: B. I know Angle does the same formula to almost all of his matches, but dang is it a good formula. This was the second great match of the night which is more than you get in almost any TV show anymore. When Hardy has someone in there to keep him grounded, he’s one of the best there is and that’s what he got here. Very good match.

Angle is eliminated from the Series now.

JB introduces the final five people who could still make No Surrender: Hardy, RVD, Samoa Joe, Bully Ray and James Storm. Next week it’s Hardy vs. Joe and RVD vs. Ray. Storm has already locked in his spot at No Surrender. No word on who has to do what to win.

Here’s Aries to close the show. Instead of the leader of Aces and 8’s, we get Hogan again. I really don’t like the way that seems to be going. The final five are behind Hogan and Sting on the stage. Scratch that as Styles is there too and Ray is next to Sting and Hogan. Hogan wants to see the faces of Aces and 8’s. Aries says he wants the ugly one but they can pick who that is. Aces and 8’s show up in the crowd and Hogan calls them out again. He says their finest is in the ring so Aces and 8’s can send their finest too.

Two smaller guys go to the railing but they’re just opening it for a bigger guy to get in the ring. This is a fight, not a match. The guy is right handed and he slugs Aries down. Aries spears him down and pounds away as the rest of the team gets in. It’s a big brawl on the floor while aries pounds on the guy that was sent into the ring. The running dropkick in the corner takes the big guy down and hee goes for the mask. Someone gets on the apron and puts his mask back on while pulling out a flapjack. He knocks Aries out and the whole team runs off. Apparently the guy that hit Aries wasn’t there at first. Aries is out cold to end the show.

Overall Rating: A. When you have three matches and they all rock like this, what more can you ask for from a free show? That being said, they didn’t do much at all for the PPV. Then again, who freaking cares? TNA has never been about the PPV builds and when you get a show like this, what difference does it make? Next week is going to be huge with the final matches in the Series before the finals three days later. Great show here and one of the best Impacts I can ever remember.

Results

James Storm b. Rob Van Dam – Last Call

ODB b. Madison Rayne – The Bam

Samoa Joe b. AJ Styles – Rollup

Jeff Hardy b. Kurt Angle – Swanton Bomb

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

ECW on Sci-Fi
Date: September 19, 2006
Location: DCU Center, Worcester, Massachusetts
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re past Unforgiven now and Big Show has some recovering to do. Therefore tonight we need a replacement top heel, so we have King Booker vs. RVD in the main event. We’re getting closer to No Mercy which which didn’t have an ECW Title match on it at all. Therefore the next month is pretty worthless as we’re approaching the only ECW PPV of the WWE incarnation. Let’s get to it.

Booker and Queen Sharmell arrive and Heyman has a red carpet waiting for them.

Opening sequence.

Sandman/Tommy Dreamer/Sabu vs. Test/Mike Knox/Matt Striker

Knox and Dreamer start things off but it’s quickly off to Striker. Sandy comes in so Striker bails, bringing Knox back in to face Dreamer. A Cactus Clothesline takes both guys to the floor where Test is waiting to spinebust Dreamer into the steps. Sandman is knocked into the barricade and has to be taken out as we go to a break. Back with Test elbowing Dreamer in the face in the corner.

Striker, the pretty boy teacher in the hot pink trunks, comes in and gets some cheap shots on Dreamer before distracting the referee so Knox can bend Dreamer’s back around the post. A neckbreaker gets two for Striker and it’s back to Test for some kicks to the back. Knox throws on a bearhug as Joey tells us of the bad back that Tommy still has from the original ECW.

A Knox powerslam gets two for Knox as Kelly screams, distracting Taz in a somewhat funny bit. Knox charges into a boot in the corner followed by a reverse DDT from Dreamer. The hot tag brings in Sabu and house is cleaned. Everything breaks down and Striker is put in the camel clutch but Test makes the save. Sabu goes up but Test shoves the referee into the ropes to crotch Sabu….drawing a DQ in ECW.

Rating: D+. This was fine but the ending hurt it a bit. The idea of the heels representing the new ECW is fine but it would take far too many months before we got to the payoff for it. Then again a lot of the faction of the New Breed wasn’t here yet so I guess it’s understandable. Not much to see here but the idea was there.

The heels beat Dreamer and Sabu down until Sandman staggers out for the save.

Heyman introduces Booker and Sharmell to CW Anderson, Stevie Richards and Balls Mahoney. Guess which one incites comedy.

Balls Mahoney vs. Kevin Thorn

Francine is with Balls here. They brawl to the floor quickly with Mahoney taking over. Back inside and Balls punches in the corner, only to be dropped face first onto the top turnbuckle. Mahoney comes back with more punches and the girls get into a catfight. Balls stops to watch and gets caught in a Razor’s Edge for the pin. This wasn’t even two minutes long.

Booker and Sharmell meet the FBI, Trinity and Punk. Guess which one wants to face Booker.

CM Punk vs. Shannon Moore

I guess we needed a rematch after the squash last week. Punk starts by firing off forearms to the head. Kelly is watching Punk from the crowd. CM puts on a seated surfboard to keep his advantage but Moore comes back with some shots to the ribs. Knox takes Kelly to the back as Moore hits a gutbuster. Punk comes back with some knees but a spinwheel kick puts him down. Moore misses a dropkick and it’s high kick, Rock Bottom and Anaconda Vice for the quick tap. Better than last week.

Heyman says Booker should join ECW. RVD comes up and offers a challenge to an extreme rules match.

Rob Van Dam vs. King Booker

Extreme rules a go-go. There was no transition between the challenge and the match either, yet Booker is in his gear already. That’s impressive. Booker is world champion but this is non-title. Booker takes over to start with some shots to the ribs but Van Dam comes back with kicks of his own. He goes up but Booker shoves him off the top into the barricade in that bump that Rob likes to do.

Van Dam gets dropped on the barricade and the King is in control. Back in and it’s chair time but Booker drops it in the ring instead of swinging it. Well no one ever accused him of being brilliant. Rob charges into the Bookend and there’s a Spinarooni. Rob is like screw this and hits Booker in the head with the chair to take him down. After skateboarding the chair into Booker’s face, there’s the Rolling Thunder onto the chair onto Booker for no cover.

The fans want tables. Well what good would a chair be if you didn’t have something to sit at? Split legged moonsault gets two and both guys are getting up. They slug it out and Van Dam is catapulted into the chair wedged between the top and middle rope. Booker’s piledriver onto a chair is countered so he has to settle for a spinebuster onto it instead. Booker goes up but the Hangover misses and both guys are down again. The Five Star hits and here’s Hardcore Holly. He hits the Alabama Slam on Rob and a scissors kick from Booker gets the pin.

Rating: C. This was storyline advancement for Van Dam vs. Holly rather than a competitive match but it wasn’t that bad. Booker was in a zone at this point as champion, as he went from the street guy as Booker T to the polar opposite as the King, which says to me that he was an incredibly talented guy. This was fine for a TV main event.

Overall Rating: C. This was better than last week as the bringing in guest stars to main event the show is the right idea. You can’t really go with an all ECW main event and have it work for the masses, so bringing in someone like Booker is a good idea. Holly vs. Van Dam would be blown off soon, but unfortunately Holly would stay in the main event scene of ECW for a few more months.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Vengeance 2002
Date: July 21, 2002
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detriot, Michigan
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

So at this time, the Brand Split has just happened, although this is still a double branded show. The main feud is Rock vs. Angle vs. Taker. Just glancing at the card, this show more or less sucks. Other than that, there just isn’t much here. Cena’s PPV debut is here if that helps anything at all. Van Dam vs. Lesnar could be ok I guess. Uh yeah let’s just get to this as I’m not sure how it’s going to go.

Should be noted that in April of this year, Orton debuted. In May Batista debuted, and in June, about a month prior to this, Cena debuted. Not bad for a three months period is it?

The opening video is based on a passage from the Bible of all things. Oh I forgot. Bischoff made his WWF debut around this time. Oh sorry. It’s WWE now. Really short though.

Tazz and Cole threatened JR and King and therefore they get to call half of the show due to JR and King not wanting to deal with a pair of idiots like them.

BubbaRayDudley/SpikeDudleyvs. ChrisBenoit/EddieGuerrero

This is an elimination match. Since D-Von got sent to Smackdown and is now a preacher (with a deacon named Batista), Spike and Bubba are more or less the new Dudley Boys. Yeah it didn’t work and at I think Survivor Series they put D-Von and Bubba back together. Eddie’s mullet is insane here. Benoit gets a decent pop. I’ve always liked how Fink said Benoit. Absolutely no reason for these guys fighting has been given yet.

Tazz says the Dudleys have tables all over their yard and porch. That’s kind of an amusing visual. Also, it’s stuff like that that is dead in wrestling today. It’s ridiculous, but it gives their characters a sense of kayfabe realism. Today, they’re just two guys that like putting people through tables. Here, they still have a bit of the crazed hillbillies in them which is what made them awesome in the first place. Benoit was hurt at KOTR 2001 so he’s back full time now.

See, that’s the kind of stuff we need to be told in case we’re not up to date. You know, information like WHY THEY’RE FIGHTING! Later in the fall, Bubba would get to feud with HHH over the world title of all things. To say they were low on ideas at this point is an understatement. With no tables involved yet, Cole is surprised that Benoit and Eddie are controlling this.

In other words, Cole is surprised that Benoit and Eddie are out-wrestling the Dudley Boys. WOW. Taz starts a sentence with “Those of you out there that haven’t been put through a table.” That sums up why I don’t have to make fun of it, even though it was made in a joking manner. HHH decides on Raw or Smackdown tonight. Ok then. Also, four ECW guys in there. But yeah Vince, ECW didn’t have much influence on WWE today. None at all.

Spike runs in for a modified Poetry in Motion that was pretty nice. This has been ALL Radicalz. Yes I know that’s not their name anymore so save your annoying comments. Bubba spears Spike to save him from going through a table. We’re about ten minutes into this and no one is eliminated yet. Spike does a double stomp to the ribs of Benoit from the top rope.

There’s no way that doesn’t hurt no matter how well you get ready for it. Bubba misses his back splash through the table but it doesn’t count since it wasn’t via an offensive move. They’ve been consistent with that so I can buy it. Spike reverses a suplex into a Dudley Dog on Eddie to eliminate him.

They kind of mess up the landing though as Eddie goes ribs first into it and doesn’t hit the ground with his body. Ow I think. Benoit hits a gorilla press on Spike (think about that for a second) and it’s one on one. And Bubba wins it with a Bubba Bomb.

Rati…..BUBBA DUDLEY JUST BEAT CHRIS BENOIT ON PAY PER VIEW??? WHAT IN THE WORLD IS THAT NONSENSE? SPIKE DUDLEY JUST BEAT EDDIE GUERRERO ON PPV??? I MUST HAVE EATEN SOME TAINTED YAK GUTS OR SOMETHING BECAUSE THIS ISN’T HAPPENING!!!

Rating: D+. It was long and had some drama, but in what non-existent universe should the Dudleys beat Eddie and Benoit in ANY kind of match? Someone explain this to me. Also, NO EXPLANATION of why they’re fighting at all. This was just a bizarre fifteen minutes if there ever has been a bizarre fifteen minutes. I’m legit stunned.

Bischoff says he’s here to sign the most ruthless athlete he knows of: HHH. Oh let it begin. He’s going into the Smackdown GM’s office. The Smackdown GM at the moment: Stephanie. I’d love to see HHH trying to get them to compete for his services. Three round competition: karate, lingerie, mud wrestling. Hey, tell me Stephanie wouldn’t look hot in a gi.

CruiserweightTitle: JamieNoblevs. BillyKidman

At this point, the belt means jack. It’s the guy wins title after being on “an impressive roll as of late”, holds it for like three months while never defending it, another guy goes “on an impressive roll as of late” and normally he wins the title. This would be the first major, and I use that term more loosely than Lita after a bottle of Jack, title defense for Noble though, so there’s more or less no way he loses here.

That and I reviewed the match where he did lose it already so yeah this isn’t in any doubt at all. Wow absolutely no one cares here. We get the line about Noble not being your traditional cruiserweight as he uses a ground based attack and isn’t a high flier. Well duh, he’s a heel champion. Has there ever been a high flier that’s a heel? Only an idiot would book that? Kidman goes up top. I wonder if he’s about to GET READY TO FLY.

I really could not be less interested in this. Yet I’m writing a review of it. There’s something extremely wrong with me I think. How in the world did Noble win the ROH Title for a month? Was that like a massive rib or something? Noble messes up Kidman’s shoulder to try to make people care. To be fair, Kidman gets some pops in there.

Oh some guy named Rey Mysterio debuts Thursday. So four months you got Ortn, Cena, Batista and Mysterio. Not bad. Kidman doesn’t tap to an armbar. Kidman goes for an enziguri. It lands on Noble’s back. Wow this is making my head hurt. Shooting Star misses and Noble rolls him up for two. Noble hits a Tiger Bomb to end this.

Rating: D+. Not bad, but seriously, no one really cared. This just filled in about 8 minutes and wasn’t that good at all. More or less a nothing match that went nowhere at all. Not that it was terrible or anything, but no point at all.

Angle says he’ll win tonight but does so in a comedic manner. He makes economy jokes based on Detroit. Wow that’s odd. Heyman and Lesnar interrupt and a rivalry is set up. Lesnar has the title shot at Summerslam. Brock was still the silent killer at the moment. Angle’s character has slowly grown on me over the years. He’s so happy go lucky and joking but he can whip so much ass in the ring that it’s ok.

EuropeanTitle: WilliamRegalvs. JeffHardy

Hardy is champion here for no reason whatsoever. Maybe the reason is he pinned the European Champion in a title match. Ah apparently it was to Hardy on Raw a few weeks back. He cried after losing the title. Cole of course makes fun of him. Jeff gets a big old pop even at this point. The fans can’t stand Regal at all. He always was a good guy for getting heat. Hardy does that dropkick through the middle and bottom ropes that he does but leaves it short.

Hardy messing up a move. Who would have guessed that? Whisper in the Wind doesn’t have a name yet. Oh and Jess is wearing body paint now. Swanton lands on the knees. That must hurt badly. Hardy gets a weird looking rollup from nowhere to retain. Seriously he was getting his head kicked in and then was rolling him up. Nice ending….I think. Regal freaks again afterwards.

Rating: D+. I know I’ve used that a lot here but it’s what comes up. Just a weird match to put it mildly. It was just random with Regal dominating most of the match but losing out of nowhere. The fans popped big for Hardy though so I can’t complain there.

Flair congratulates Hardy. Hogan is here too. These three are in the same company 8 years later and two of them are legends here. See something wrong there? Hogan says he might use a Swanton later. Flair says what he thinks Ross would say. It’s….not that funny. Hogan says he’s worried about Vince appointing Eric and Stephanie as GMs of THEIR company. Flair was still onscreen owner here, so what the heck is Hogan talking about HIS company?

Flair says he’s worried for the young guys. Oh that’s PRICELESS. You hear all of the political stuff coming, and you have to wonder why they have no problem talking about their bosses like this with a camera looking right at them. That’s wrestling though so I can go with it.

JohnCenavs. ChrisJericho

So Cena had debuted like a month before this and had nearly beaten Kurt Angle in a challenge match. Jericho is heel here mind you. Not bad for a debut feud. Jericho couldn’t beat him three days ago so he beat the tar out of him with a chair. Yeah Jericho not being able to beat Cena. I’m stunned too. Cena has generic rock theme #849B here. Oh and he’s from Boston here. Also he’s wearing red shorts with a white stripe up the side. It was a very different time.

He wouldn’t be a rapper for a few months. This is a totally different guy than you’re used to. He’s not that good in the ring, he has NO heat, and I don’t think he has an actual signature or finishing move. Jericho kicks his head off with a spinning heel kick. I love that move. More or less Cena is just trying to survive here. Random note but TNA started about a month before this. Lionsault misses and Cena gets two on a rollup. Jericho getting ticked off is a thing of beauty.

Lionsault hits but he doesn’t cover like an idiot. Cena counters the Walls into a rollup for a quick pin. See what I mean by not having a finisher? And remember, Jericho was main eventing Mania three and a half months earlier.

Rating: C-. TV level match here but this is far more of a signature moment than anything else. Jericho put him over clean here and you can’t ask for much more. This wasn’t bad at all, and given Cena’s experience at this point, there was only so high they could take this. Also, Cena beats Jericho again.

Bischoff and Coach are waiting outside Stephanie’s office where HHH has been for awhile. Her lawyer goes in. I don’t care.

JR and King take over on commentary.

RVD is stretching. So is Lesnar. BUYRATE BABY!

We recap them, which more or less is Lesnar is awesome and beats up everybody he fights. He beat RVD to win KOTR. That’s about it.

IntercontinentalTitle: BrockLesnarvs. RobVanDam

Ok so make that Cena, Orton, Batista, Mysterio and Lesnar in four months. Think this was a good time for the company? Heyman was perfect in this role. Although I do wonder why knowing Heyman’s money history Lesnar would let him handle his contracts. Makes little sense. Van Dam is OVER. Oh yeah he’s the hometown boy here. Brock uses an FU about 4 seconds in and since he’s not John Cena, it does nothing. Yeah Lesnar’s strength is nothing compared to Cena’s.

Van Dam gets some solid shots in on Lesnar that makes things believable at least. Weird to think that both of these guys are world champions today, almost eight years later. Lesnar hits a powerslam on the floor. Freaking OW! Ross thinks Van Dam has the advantage in speed in quickness. My head hurts from announcers at times.

We hit the bear hug with Brock in control. Van Dam cues up his comeback with Heyman’s advice being DON’T LOSE! F5 is countered into a DDT. Five Star connects but Heyman pulls the referee out. Yep, it’s a weak DQ. The referee beats up Heyman for no apparent reason. F5 to RVD post match.

Rating: C+. The key thing here was they had to protect both guys and that’s what they did. Van Dam keeps the title and had Lesnar beat, but Lesnar didn’t get pinned. It’s a nice deal because as they said, Lesnar had nothing at all to lose here. This was fine for what it was.

Let’s waste more time outside Stephanie’s office because it worked so well last time. Stephanie walks out and she’s not happy looking. She says he signed. Ok then. HHH walks out and Bischoff yells at him. Apparently he signed divorce papers. He hasn’t decided on who to sign with yet.

BigShowvs. BookerT

This is no DQ for no apparent reason. Maybe we’ll GET AN EXPLANATION HERE! No count outs either which I would have though was self-explanatory. Ah here’s an explanation. Show beat up Booker on Raw to culminate their feud. SO WHY ARE THEY FIGHTING??? Booker is in blue here which is oddly working for him. Apparently Show wanted the stipulations here. Oh and Show is in his one piece swimsuit again.

He would be the first guy to beat Lesnar. Wow. He’s just big, slow and bad here. We hear WWF here which would be a big issue today. If nothing else Show looks funny, although I don’t think that was their intention. Booker gets a good monitor shot into the head of Show on the floor. We now get one of the most contrived spots I can remember in a long time.

After that monitor shot, Booker gets on the other end of the tables and Show just happens to stay in perfect position for the axe kick. So if he hadn’t stood like that, what would Booker have done instead? That’s what I mean by contrived. We go back in and an axe kick and the Houston Hangover (front flip into a leg drop from the top) gets a clean pin. This was borderline squash.

Rating: D+. Not very good and that awful spot killed it for me. This was just random and it came off badly. Booker went on the hottest streak of his life just after this, culminating in being fed to HHH at Mania 19. This was just a weird one though.

Torrie and Dawn Marie are at The World, the newly named WWF New York. This was pointless.

And here’s HHH. Yeah, after about a month off or so, it’s time to talk about what his career plans are. Oh freaking JOY. Apparently he’s the biggest name in wrestling. Ok then. And we’re into HHH is awesome time now. Ross says he coined the phrase Cerebral Assassin months ago. Yeah that’s why they were using it OVER A YEAR AGO at Mania 17. Before he can talk though, here’s Bischoff. Once his theme song ends, his video keeps playing. Ok then.

Bischoff’s main pitch is he’s all business rather than personal. He offers HHH movie roles etc. He almost calls HHH a WCW Superstar. That was almost funny. He’s getting a shoe deal too. And here’s Stephanie of course. The weak rap/hip hop song for her just fails though. Wow Stephanie trying to be tough always FAILS. Oh yeah, and she cannot talk at all. They were unstoppable apparently.

You know, until they got, you know, stopped. Eric and Stephanie go back and forth for a bit with Stephanie mentioning that Eric once said HHH had no talent or charisma. WOW this is making my head hurt. Now HHH talks for awhile. This is just painfully bad. He sticks his hand out to Eric. He doesn’t shake it. He says he’d rather go with the devil he knows rather than the one he doesn’t. And here’s HBK who just left the NWO. Yeah that was just stupid.

The NWO had more or less been threatening to force HHH to join them on Raw. OH THAT’S RIGHT! Booker and Show were fighting because they were in the NWO together and Shawn said Booker was the reason the team sucked so Big Show started fighting Booker. This era sucked.

The NWO is gone now as they realized the thing was just stupid at this point. Shawn talks him into coming back to Raw. HHH turned heel the next night and beat up Shawn. This is ten minutes I’ll never get back. Gah it’s not over yet. Stephanie and Eric have to talk a bit more.

Rikishi says he’s surprised about HHH. This was pointless.

Booker and Goldust get asked about HHH. Booker says bring him on. Goldust makes a bad sex joke.

We recap the 4th of July tag title change. Edge was a childhood Hulkamaniac so they just randomly won the tag titles. Christian and Lance Storm were the UnAmericans at the time, so the REAL CANADIAN Edge and Hogan defended the country. Yeah it was stupid.

TagTitles: LanceStorm/Christianvs. HulkHogan/Edge

This isn’t going to be fun is it? I think the tag titles went on both brands at the time but I’m not sure. Yeah they did. Ross then explains that Toronto is in Canada. Ok then. It’s also the Hendrix music for Hogan. Yes let’s pay a commercial artist for music when WE OWN THE MOST FAMOUS SONG IN WRESTLING HISTORY! He follows that up by TWICE, yes TWICE saying that Hogan fought Warrior at Mania 3. WOW.

I knew that when I was 4 years old. Hogan vs. Christian starts. That’s a weird thing to see: Hogan fighting a guy that’s young and talented that hasn’t been elevated up yet. Dang how out of place does Hogan look here? If you get another talented guy in there, you could have a pretty interesting tag match. Or like this: Edge vs. Lance Storm. That sounds perfectly entertaining. This however, just isn’t interesting. Also, within about two months, Hogan has won the tag and world titles.

He’s like what, 50 at this point? Is there a reason to give him such title runs here? I can almost guarantee you that Edge will get pinned here if they lose the belts. Naturally Edge is the one getting beaten down. Hogan comes in and Christian goes for that diving reverse DDT of his. Hogan botches the HECK out of it. You know, because it’s such a hard move to take isn’t it? Leg drop to Christian but Storm makes the save.

Hogan doesn’t take the superkick from Storm right either. Edge comes in to clean house while Hogan looks for a pudding pack or something. And there goes the referee. Test runs down to beat up Hogan and Edge. Storm covers Edge for only two. Wow that surprised me. Rikishi of all people comes down to beat up Test. Sure why not?

Christian distracts the referee and JERICHO comes out to nail Edge with a title belt for the ending. Wow it only took four guys to get the belt off of Hogan and he didn’t even get pinned. That might be a new record low for Hogan. Naturally, this title that Hogan was so proud of was never mentioned again and he never went after it again.

Rating: D. Just bad and Hogan looked awful out there. Four guys to get the title off of Hogan. He botches a ton of spots, and he doesn’t even let Storm or Christian get to say they pinned Hogan. Yeah, this is definitely about the young guys. Can’t you see that?

Bischoff tries to get Angle onto Raw. Smart if nothing else.

Stephanie threatens to rip the heart out of Raw. Not sure what she means but she did get the IC Title to Smackdown. Pay no attention to the fact that the belts were unified soon after and we had the idiotic year where there were only world champions. Yeah it was stupid.

We recap the triple threat main event. Rock had a title shot for no apparent reason and there’s the famous Taker taps out while pinning Angle thing. Replays in slow enough motion show Taker tapping before the three hit the mat but whatever. It was a draw but whatever. That actually happened at UFC 34 in a Matt Hughes fight.

He was in a triangle choke and tried to slam the guy into the mat. He did so and won by knockout, but he was out from the choke. Taker suggested doing it to set up this angle. But no Vince, UFC which today is light years ahead of what it was back then has no impact on wrestling at all.

UndisputedTitle: TheRockvs. KurtAnglevs. Undertaker

So Rock is officially an actor now but he’s here for no adequately explained reason. That would come at Summerslam though. It’s your standard triple threat so far with Angle and Rock doing the heavy lifting early on. Taker goes for the chokeslam on Rock but Rock does it to him. In other words he did a Rock Bottom but didn’t go down with him. They show a close up replay and I forgot it was a chokeslam. Rock puts the ankle lock on Angle and Angle hits him with a Rock Bottom.

Taker hits an Angle Slam on Angle as we have a nice little sequence there. That wasn’t bad at all. I love it when Taker grabs a guy by the throat and throws them into the corner to punch the heck out of them. We do the standard one guy goes down and the other two fight for awhile. It does help as you can get three one on ones rather than a threeway so that’s good. Angle is bleeding. Not a bad cut either. He gets beaten back and forth between both guys.

Not bad, but this needs to pick things up a little. Oh look the referee is down and his leg hurts. Oh ok he’s already up again. Angle takes both guys out and covers Taker which is stupid as he was put down first. Taker hits the Last Ride but Angle gets the ankle lock. We use the same finish from Smackdown but now Rock is in the ankle lock. We’re fully into the whole finisher marathon segment here and it’s boring.

Rock Bottom to Taker gets two as Angle is down. Angle Slam to Taker but the Rock Bottom to Angle ends it. Meh. I would have been more interested if I didn’t know the winner beforehand. And I didn’t know because of this being 8 years ago. I knew because of the Rock/Lesnar poster they accidentally released two weeks before Rock won the title.

Rating: B-. Not bad, but DANG the whole nothing but finishers for the last 5 minutes got annoying. Rock jobbing to Lesnar was good and this set that up so I can’t complain much there. Angle was a nice placeholder I guess but this just wasn’t anything special at all. Seeing Taker do an Angle Slam was cool though. Just nothing special at all.

Overall Rating: D+. Nothing special here at all. This was a totally uninteresting show from start to finish with no great matches and 15 minutes going to HHH saying Raw rather than a long match in between. Thankfully this was the end of Hogan’s time around titles but man this was boring. The whole show just came off as uninteresting and like a waste of time. Take a pass here, although the triple threat is watchable.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

ECW on Sci-Fi
Date: August 8, 2006
Location: Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

This is I think the ninth episode and thankfully for the sake of WWE, the show is out of ECW country this week. The main event is Angle vs. Sabu in a match that has some historical significance which we’ll get to at the end of this. Other than that there isn’t much to talk about but Summerslam is coming up so you know there’s going to be talk about the non-ECW matches from that show right? Let’s get to it.

After a clip from last week with the opening tag, we’re ready to go.

Mike Knox vs. Tommy Dreamer

Knox jumps Dreamer as he’s getting in and we’re going fast. He tries a backdrop but Dreamer hits a bad neckbreaker to take over. Dreamer hits a Cactus Clothesline to put both guys outside. Knox goes into the steps and let’s head back inside. Middle rope elbow gets two for Dreamer and here’s Heyman. Dreamer hits the DDT but the security guards come in and take out Tommy. Knox hits a DDT for the quick pin.

Heyman and the guards set for a double beatdown but Sandman comes in for the save and we take a break.

Back with Heyman telling Sandman that Heyman gets what’s wrong. It’s about Dreamer getting attacked right? Dreamer was going to get another match with someone (presumably the tag match from last week) but instead Sandman gets to go it alone. Oh and it’s regular rules so no cane.

Test/Mike Knox vs. Sandman

I mean, what would we do without a Test appearance right? As Dreamer is on his way to the back, Test kicks his head off in a nice heelish move. Sandman tries to use the cane anyway but misses Knox. Test beats him down and the double teaming begins. The heels beat on him for awhile until Test missses a charge in the corner. Sandman dropkicks Knox and then grabs the cane for the quick DQ. This was less than nothing.

Sandman canes them both and leaves.

Video on Sabu.

We see Sabu attacking Big Show the last two weeks, which is why Sabu is in a #1 contenders match with Angle tonight.

Sabu says he’ll win. Insert rage about Sabu talking here.

Balls Mahoney loves ECW and has cuts in his head.

There’s a full moon, which of course leads to….

Kevin Thorn vs. Al Snow

DANG those things on Ariel are big. She hangs upside down on the ropes during the entrance. Thankfully Joey is there to pound it into our heads that they follow Vampirism. Snow jumps him to start and gets a very quick one. Thorn catches him and hits a very bad gutbuster as he works on the ribs. Snow fights back a bit but gets caught by the elevated Stunner. Razor’s Edge ends this squash.

Video on Angle.

Angle says that Sabu will lose tonight, because it’s suicide to come into the ring with him.

Rene Dupree is coming. Oh geez.

Here’s Big Show for a chat. Show knows that he’s the best ECW Champion ever. He doesn’t represent the blood and guts that usually are associated with the title. Instead he’s bringing some class to the belt. Angle will be crushed like crackers in soup and Sabu would be suicidal if he comes after the title. No one can beat him apparently.

We get a clip from last week with Punk debuting.

Punk says he was welcomed into the ECW family and he thanks the fans for that reception. All the years of training have paid off but now it’s about the future. He’ll be in the ring again next week.

Kurt Angle vs. Sabu

Main event and #1 contender match. Sabu charges straight at him which gets him nowhere at all. Angle takes Sabu down and slaps him around a little bit. He goes after the leg but Sabu gets a rope. The idea here is that Sabu has to be careful while Angle is looking for an opening. Sabu avoids a charge and Angle’s shoulder goes into the post. Sabu sends him to the floor and we take a break. Back with Sabu in a rear chinlock. The winner gets the title match at Summerslam.

Sabu fights up and hits a springboard tornado DDT for two. Angle is in a little trouble but he snaps off an overhead belly to belly to take over. Off to the grapevined chinlock which doesn’t last long. Sabu hits a springboard leg lariat and a slingshot legdrop for two. Let lariat gets the same. The American hits rolling Germans on the Arabian and loudly calls the flip over spot on the last one.

There go the straps but Sabu counteres the Slam. Sabu hits some springboard attacks for two. Camel clutch goes on but Angle reverses into the ankle lock. Sabu rolls through and the counter sends Angle out to the floor. A flip dive almost totally misses and both guys are down on the floor. Angle AGAIN can be heard talking to Sabu. This is getting ridiculous. Back in a spinning splash off the top gets two for Sabu. Angle counters an arm hold into the ankle lock but here’s RVD for the DQ.

Rating: B-. I was getting into this as Sabu having to go crazy to hold off Angle was a nice idea. The key to Sabu is to have someone in there with him that can keep him sane and the match works WAY better. This was way better than I was expecting and it’s always nice to have a match exceed yoru expectations, especially when you’re expecting a mess with Sabu.

Rob attacks both guys and stands tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. I liked last week’s show better but this certainly wasn’t bad. Rob returning is a good thing because the historical significance I was talking about earlier is that Angle would never have another WWE match on TV. After this he would be gone within a week and would be in TNA in less than two months. Rob needed to come back and they would soon start changing the way ECW looked. Decent show but nothing great.

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ECW on TNN
Date: September 17, 1999
Location: ECW Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 1,500
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

Back with another episode, I believe the forth one. The main event tonight is again Lynn vs. RVD which was at least more enjoyable last time. Other than that we’ve got some very short matches which I’m sure will please the fans in Philly but won’t do jack for the rest of the country. These shows at least go by quickly. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip of Raven and Dreamer pinning Rhyno/Victory to keep the titles, presumably at a PPV or somewhere. Raven only popped up at the end to retain again. Apparently this was the very ending of a match that was happening before the TV taping begin.

Cyrus’ ban has been lifted and he’ll be at the PPV, according to Cyrus. Fonzie says the only person in danger is Justin Credible for having Sabu banned in the first place. Sabu pops up and since this is the REAL ECW, he doesn’t talk.

Theme song.

Spike Dudley vs. PN News

Yes, it’s THAT PN News. Acid Drop, pin in less than thirty seconds.

Someone has been injured and is being taken out in an ambulance but we don’t know who.

Super Crazy vs. Tajiri

This is joined in progress with Tajiri in control. He powerbombs Crazy to the floor and they go into the crowd for a bit which doesn’t get them anywhere. Missile dropkick misses so Crazy hits him diez times in the corner. The handspring elbow misses but Tajiri does that submission where he bends Crazy over his back and spins him around. The Japanese guy hits a German on the Mexican but he walks into a powerbomb for the pin. Too short to rate but it was the usual fast paced goodness from these two.

We go to a playground at night with Raven hanging out by the swings. He talks about the two year war with Dreamer and we get some highlights from it. We get the “It’s Tommy’s” line from Beulah about her baby which is still awesome. Raven talks about how he took Dreamer to school and after two years, it was time for Dreamer to graduate. The pop when Dreamer pins him is still great. Then Dreamer let Beulah get hurt by the Dudleys, so now Raven has to save him again. This didn’t make a lot of sense but it’s Raven so it rarely did.

Here are Storm and Dawn Marie unscheduled.

TV Title: Lance Storm vs. Rob Van Dam

This means that it was Lynn in the ambulance earlier at the hands of the Impact Players. While Van Dam is walking around high fiving fans, Storm dives onto him to take over. Springboard missile dropkick puts Van Dam down and Storm crotches him on the top rope. Chair to the head puts Van Dam….not down at all as he hits a one footed kick to the chair, kind of like a Van Daminator from the top. And here’s Justin for the double beatdown.

Lynn, all taped up makes the save but a British dude named Johnny Smith runs in to make it 3-2 in favor of the Players.

Lynn is being taken out after a break but Rob runs his mouth enough to get Lynn off the stretcher and into the ring for the scheduled title match.

TV Title: Jerry Lynn vs. Rob Van Dam

Rob charges at him and we go straight to their usual “you can’t hit me but I can’t hit you either” sequence, resulting in a double clothesline. Spin kick gets two for Rob. Lynn cross bodies him to the floor but his bad ribs are sent into the barricade. Rob tries a Van Daminator but Lynn has a brain and pelts Rob with the chair. They both get onto the barricade and Lynn hits something like a bulldog to send Van Dam face first into a chair.

He picks up the chair and there’s the Van Daminator. That gets two back in the ring but Rob is still sore from the beating earlier. Lynn sits up to avoid Rolling Thunder but gets kicked down so that the split legged moonsault can get two. Fonzie throws in a chair but Rob lays it down in the corner. Lynn jumps over Rob in the corner but gets kicked in the face then kicked again, this time from the middle rope for two.

Now the chair is put in the middle of the ring. Rob tries the running monkey flip out of the corner but Lynn jumps out of the way and hits a powerbomb out of the corner onto the chair for two. Bridging German gets the same. Van Dam has a small cut above his eye. They go to the corner and the champ hits a BIG clothesline to put Lynn on the floor and through a table.

The match stops for a bit as Lynn is in agony and almost has to leave. Eventually he comes back to a big ovation and gets suplexed back inside. Rob goes for the chair but as he picks it up, Lynn dropkicks it into his face for two. Cradle piledriver is countered as is Van Dam’s northern lights suplex by a DDT from Lynn. That gets two and both guys are spent.

A superplex from Lynn puts both guys down again and gets an eventual two for Lynn. Van Dam grabs a small package for two as well as a rollup for the same. Fonzie pops Lynn with a chair but the Five Star misses. Lynn covers off the miss but THAT gets two. Van Daminator FINALLY gets the pin on Lynn.

Rating: B. This was probably my favorite of the 9000 matches these guys had. The near falls were great and the injury angle helped a lot. Joey seemed to have a conspiracy theory going on about how Lynn wasn’t really jumped or something, but I don’t think anything ever came of it. This was a really fun match and for a TV show, this was excellent.

Lynn gets a big ovation to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Given that one match was almost half the show, that gives this a pretty positive ending. The rest of it was pretty stupid, but for once they have some clear stories going on. They don’t however use the show to build up the PPV, which is probably the whole point of it. The Van Dam vs. Lynn match is good, but once you see them fight 10 times it loses some of the appeal. Good show, probably the best so far.

Here’s Anarchy Rulz if you’re interested:

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