ECW on Sci Fi
Date: December 19, 2006
Location: Hampton Coliseum, Hampton, Virginia
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re almost done with the year and I’m not sure what that is going to mean for this week. Last week’s show felt like a total throw away episode, but I’m curious about how much of that was over the big shakeup behind the scenes. Hopefully they don’t wait until the new year to fix things up. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Bobby Lashley for a match but first we see some shots of Lashley in Iraq to visit the troops earlier this month. Also before the match, Lashley talks about what the title means to him and stops reflect on the Big Show. If Show ever wants it back, come take it from him whenever he wants.

Lashley gets a little emotional before saying the fans can vote on who gets an ECW Title shot in two weeks. Their choices are Rob Van Dam, Sabu and Test with voting online. Lashley plugs Tribute To The Troops but here is Rene Dupree to interrupt. Dupree rips on the troops, who needed the boost because they are losing over there. He is challenging Lashley, who hits him in the face to start in a hurry.

Bobby Lashley vs. Rene Dupree

Non-title. Lashley slams him, shrugs off a poke to the eye, slams him two more times, and then sends it outside. Dupree manages a quick knee life and a neckbreaker over the ropes, setting up the chinlock. That’s broken up and Lashley hits the delayed vertical suplex, meaning it’s the Dominator for the fast pin.

Matt Striker vs. Balls Mahoney

Brad Armstrong of all people is on commentary here. Mahoney charges in and punches Striker down to start as we discuss where Armstrong is from. Striker takes him down and chokes with the shirt for a few near falls in a row. The armbar goes on but Mahoney rolls him into the corner for the break. There are the snap jabs but Mahoney blocks the low blow and takes him down again. The guillotine legdrop misses though and Striker hits the Golden Rule (that always weird move where he puts his knee behind Mahoney’s head and spins him back to drive the head into the knee).

Rating: D+. There wasn’t much to see here and the really dumb looking finisher didn’t make it better. Striker vs. Mahoney is the kind of feud that makes a lot of sense, but you’re only going to get so far with Striker in general. He’s a good heel, but he’s a good midcard heel at best, so hopefully they don’t try to go much higher with him than this.

Test says he should get the title shot because he has beaten Rob Van Dam over and over and Sabu is just another victim.

Rob Van Dam remembers being ECW Champion and promises to get the title back if he gets the chance.

Here is Hardcore Holly for a chat. Holly says that there is an ugly rumor that he tapped out to CM Punk last week. What really happened was the referee had to step in and save Punk’s life. Punk can’t make him tap out, so get out here right now. Cue Punk, but Holly says Punk only has three minutes to make him tap.

Hardcore Holly vs. CM Punk

Three minute time limit so Punk goes straight for the Anaconda Vice. With that not working, it’s off to a lockup with Holly taking him into the corner at a minute in. Holly takes him down and gets in a kick to the head before tying Punk up in the ropes. We’re down to a minute left as Holly puts on the chinlock. That’s broken up and Punk goes for the Vice again but time runs out.

Rating: D. Much more of an angle than a match here and there is only so much you can do in a three minute match involving a chinlock. Punk not being able to make Holly tap in three minutes doesn’t exactly make him look bad, and we should be in for a rematch sooner rather than later. Punk is on the rise and a definitive win over Holly should help him a lot.

Post match, Holly hits the Alabama Slam.

Shannon Moore runs into Daivari and gets a match with Great Khali for his transgression.

Video on Tribute to the Troops.

Great Khali vs. Shannon Moore

Khali throws him into the corner to start as here’s Tommy Dreamer to chair Daivari down. As we look at that, Khali finishes with the double chokeslam.

Post match Khali goes outside and knocks the chair away from Dreamer, setting up another double chokeslam onto the steps (THUD). Khali takes Daivari to the back.

Video on Sabu.

Dreamer is taken out on a stretcher.

See No Evil is on DVD.

We look at Mike Knox attacking Kelly Kelly two weeks ago.

Knox says he dumped Kelly because he is the victim. What if your girlfriend or wife kept taking her clothes off? She never hid her feelings for CM Punk so he stopped hiding his true feelings. It hurt him more than it hurt her.

Test vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Sabu

Joined in progress with everyone down on the floor until Van Dam takes Test back inside for a superkick. The standing moonsault gets two but Van Dam gets shoved off the top and into the barricade for his traditional crash. Sabu is back up as well and gets crotched on top to put him in trouble again.

Van Dam comes back in for the Tower of Doom and a pair of near falls. A flip over Sabu sets up a clothesline to Test and some double teaming gets two each. There is Rolling Thunder for two more on Test and he is sent outside. That leaves Sabu to hit the springboard leg lariat for two but Van Dam crotches him on top. The Five Star hits Sabu but Test comes in and decks Van Dam to steal the pin.

Rating: C-. This might not have been the most interesting match and the ending is about as played out of a triple threat finish as you are going to get, but it was a smart decision. Test isn’t going to win the fan vote, but now he has a reason to get a title shot later on if that’s where you want to go. Given how few options ECW has for a major Lashley match, Test is as good as anyone else they could throw out there at the moment. Smart booking to a pretty weak match.

Post match we get the results of the fan voting:

Van Dam – 45%

Test – 18%

Sabu – 37%

Van Dam is pleased but gets big booted by Test. With Test gone, Van Dam gets up and bows to Sabu, as the big boot might have kept him down for five seconds.

Overall Rating: D+. Another not very good show, but the big upgrade over last week was they actually had a point this time around. There was a focus on the title and getting Lashley a new challenger, which at least made the show seem somewhat important. They have a long way to go and I hope that it gets better in the near future, but this was at least a step above last week.

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ECW on Sci Fi
Date: December 16, 2006
Location: TD Banknorth Garden Arena, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s a special Saturday show as I’m assuming ECW is airing a holiday movie marathon to raise money for the metric system or something. Bobby Lashley has beaten the Big Show, meaning we need some new challenges for the ECW World Title. That might mean bringing in some new names, which would be a lot better than using what we have available. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We look at Bobby Lashley beating Big Show twice in a row to firmly establish himself as champion. That would be it for Show for over a year.

Opening sequence, now minus Paul Heyman’s “The tribe of extreme has risen again.”

Rob Van Dam vs. Test

They take turns driving each other into the corner to start until Test elbows him in the face. That earns Test a kick to the face into a standing moonsault for two, meaning it’s time for a breather on the floor. Back in and Test gets smart by going to the eyes and then makes Van Dam’s shoulder go to the post. Rob tries to get up top but gets shoved down for the crash (as tends to happen to him) and we take a break.

Back with Test diving into a raised boot, allowing Van Dam to fire off the kicks for two. The rolling monkey flip is countered by a hard clothesline but Van Dam crotches him on top. Rolling Thunder gets two and there’s the windmill kick to drop Test again. The Five Star only hits mat but Van Dam counters a powerbomb into a sunset flip, only to have Test sit down on it and grab the rope for the pin.

Rating: C-. Pretty by the book match here as Test used the power and then Van Dam used the kicks and high flying before they would do the same thing again. Test as the next challenger to Lashley would not be the worst way to go, if nothing else to give Lashley a win over someone who could be a little intimidating. Van Dam continues to just kind of be here without much of anything to do, which is kind of astounding given his status.

It’s time for Striker’s Classroom, with Matt Striker mocking….well pretty much everything about Boston, from college students to politicians to sports. With that out of the way, he brings out Balls Mahoney, who Striker says reminds him of Boston itself. This includes his looks, his skin care and his girth, meaning the beating is on, or at least it is until Striker kicks him low. Striker: “What’s the matter? Feeling a little blue, Balls?”

Elijah Burke brags about how he and Sylvester Terkay will knock you out or tap you out.

CM Punk vs. Hardcore Holly

Punk elbows and armdrags him down to start and grabs a suplex for two. Holly gets in a shot of his own though and ties Punk in the ropes for the forearm to the chest. A swinging neckbreaker gets Punk out of trouble and it’s time for the rapid fire strikes. The running bulldog out of the corner gets two but Holly knocks him into the corner and hammers away….for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Oh yeah Heyman must be gone, as this would seem to be the kind of thing that Heyman would fight to avoid. This would have been a lame ending on any show but it is especially lame in ECW. Holly is not likely a big name around here for very long and odds are Punk will beat him again in the rematch, as he should.

Post match, Punk grabs the Anaconda Vice to make Holly tap.

Here is Tommy Dreamer to call out the Great Khali. Cue Khali and Daivari, the latter of whom accepts the challenge instead.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Daivari

Daivari hammers away in the corner but Dreamer fights out, shrugs off a chop from Khali, and hits the DDT for the pin in less than a minute.

Post match, Khali pulls Dreamer outside to hit the double chokeslam on the floor.

We look at Mike Knox dumping Kelly Kelly and giving her a swinging Downward Spiral last week.

Bobby Lashley vs. Paul Heyman’s Personal Enforcers

Non-title. The Enforcers stay in their helmets and #2 tries to sneak in for a cheap shot. That has no avail as Lashley sends him outside and grabs a delayed vertical suplex on #1. A nightstick shot puts Lashley down and the stomping in the corner gets two. There’s a double clothesline to set up more stomping but Lashley avoids a charge into the corner. A backdrop sends #1 into #2 and a spear sets up the Dominator for the pin.

Rating: D. This felt like they remembered they needed Lashley to do something on the show and checked catering to see who was available. The ending was never in doubt and they didn’t do anything to make it that much more interesting. Lashley being all dominant is fine but this wasn’t exactly make me want to see more of him.

Post match Lashley spears #1 and gives him a Dominator as well. Lashley grabs the nightstick and beats them both down to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. I would be really curious to know how the creative aspect of this one went, as there was very little to suggest that much effort was put in. What we got here felt like it was mainly thrown together at the last minute, which isn’t the most inspiring effort. It wasn’t a good show and felt completely skippable, though maybe they were just burning through a weekend show.

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ECW on Sci Fi
Date: December 5, 2006
Location: North Charleston Coliseum, North Charleston, South Carolina
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re officially done with December To Dismember and for all intent and purpose, done with the original version of the relaunched ECW. This is now the third brand instead of something that has any kind of unique feeling to it and that is going to make for a pretty interesting change going forward. Bobby Lashley is now ECW Champion so let’s get to it.

Here is December To Dismember if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Bobby Lashley winning the ECW Title inside the Elimination Chamber.

Paul Heyman was in tears after the pay per view, as Big Show is not only the former champion but his blood is also on Heyman’s tie. The rematch is this week….and that’s the last we’ll see of Paul Heyman for five and a half years.

Opening sequence.

Rob Van Dam/CM Punk vs. Test/Hardcore Holly

More Chamber fallout. Punk and Van Dam dedicate the match to Sabu because he should have been in the Chamber with him. Holly starts with Van Dam as the lights seem to be flickering a bit. Rob kicks him down to start and hits a split legged moonsault to the back. Test pulls him to the floor though and stomps away, followed by Holly grabbing a suplex for two back inside.

It’s off to Test to hit a basement clothesline for two and Holly comes back in to get kicked in the face. The hot tag brings in Punk to strike away, followed by the bulldog out of the corner. The Alabama Slam is countered into the Anaconda Vice but here are Heyman’s security guards for the DQ.

Rating: C-. They didn’t have much time to work with here but it kept Van Dam and Punk strong (outside of the Chamber at least). Test and Holly might as well be Goon #1 and Goon #2 at this point, though I’m not sure who is supposed to replace them on the heel totem pole. They’ll do fine for now though.

Post match the beatdown is on but Sabu, with his arm in a sling, makes the save. Van Dam hits a Five Star and Sabu adds the Arabian Facebuster.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Daivari

Rematch from December to Dismember though Dreamer is mostly destroyed after being attacked by Great Khali on Sunday. Daivari dropkicks him down but Dreamer, with his shirt torn to exposed the bandaged shoulder, comes back with a spinebuster. The DDT finishes Daivari in a hurry.

Post match here is Great Khali to beat down Dreamer, including the chokeslam onto a chair.

BUY THE DECEMBER TO DISMEMBER REPLAY!

Next week’s show is on Saturday.

Big Show promises to win the title back because it took five people and a bunch of weapons to beat him. Tonight, he is taking the title back. This was as old school talk to the camera style as you are getting in this era.

Kelly Kelly vs. Ariel

Kelly is here by herself and looks terrified. Kevin Thorn is here with Ariel….or at least he is until he is ejected before the match. The catfight is on to start and Kelly grabs a rollup for the pin in less than a minute.

Post match here is Mike Knox with flowers to make peace with Kelly. He apologizes for what he did at December To Dismember and gets on his knees to beg her forgiveness. Then he dumps her and hits a swinging neckbreaker before walking out. Tazz of all people gets in to check on Kelly.

Kane is still in See No Evil and it’s still on DVD.

ECW World Title: Big Show vs. Bobby Lashley

Show is challenging. Lashley slugs away with right hands to start until an elbow to the face cuts him down. Back up and Lashley starts going after Show’s arm but Show shrugs it off and puts on a kneeling bearhug. Lashley fights out but gets run over with ease and we take a break.

We come back with Lashley’s crossbody being countered into a World’s Strongest Slam for a near fall. Show stands on his back but Lashley manages to come back with a flying shoulder for two. That earns him a kick to the face to give Show two more and there’s a suplex to cut Lashley off again. We hit the abdominal stretch on Lashley with Show adding some right hands to the ribs for a bonus.

With that broken up, Lashley slugs away to little effect as Show puts him on top. A headbutt drops Show and Lashley nails a flying shoulder. More clotheslines put Show down again but the spear is countered with a chokeslam for two. Lashley can’t quite hold him up for a slam but it was close enough for two. A big boot and a clothesline sets up another slam (much better this time) for the pin to retain the title.

Rating: C-. Pretty dull match here that went longer than it needed to. Lashley getting the clean win over Show is a way to remove the basically non-existent doubt over his initial title reign. Show beat Lashley up and Lashley made his comeback to retain. What more else can you ask for in a match like this? This would be it for Show for over a year, so at least he went out putting Lashley over again.

Overall Rating: D+. This wasn’t much of a show but then it’s kind of hard to get overly annoyed at this when everything was changing behind the scenes. I’m curious to see where things go from here, but it isn’t like what happened before all of the changes was all that great. Hopefully the new direction is better, though it’s not like there is any track record around here.

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December To Dismember
Date: December 3, 2006
Location: James Brown Arena, Augusta, Georgia
Attendance: 4,800
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

Well here we go. For the first time ever, the reincarnated ECW is getting its own pay per view and we have two matches announced on the way in. One of those matches features two teams who aren’t on ECW and the other is the EXTREME Elimination Chamber. This is not exactly looking promising but let’s get to it.

The opening video entirely focuses on the Chamber, with nothing else getting any focus. So half of the matches got a look, so maybe things are looking up.

Hardys vs. MNM

This is the result of the Hardys’ open challenge and neither of the teams are on ECW. Matt starts with Mercury and shoulders him down, meaning it’s already off to a double standoff. With that settled down, Mercury shrugs off some arm cranking and hands it off to Nitro as everything breaks down again. The Hardys clean house and it’s Nitro blocking Jeff’s jawbreaker and taking him into the corner to put him in trouble for the first time.

Jeff isn’t having that either and fights out, allowing the tag off to Matt to pick up the pace again. Melina offers a distraction though and MNM manages a double gutbuster to take him down. A double belly to back faceplant gets two on Matt but he manages a double DDT. Jeff gets knocked off the apron and it’s MNM hitting Poetry In Motion to rock Matt again. Not that it matters as Matt fights up and makes it over to Jeff for the hot tag a few seconds later anyway.

Everything breaks down again and it’s time for the parade of dives onto the floor. Back in and Nitro hits a springboard missile dropkick for two on Jeff. A double catapult sends Jeff face first into the buckle and Mercury cranks on both of Jeff’s arms for a bit. Jeff gets flipped into the corner and some forearms to the back keep him in trouble. There’s a slingshot elbow for two and we hit the reverse chinlock.

With that broken up, another double catapult is countered as Jeff comes back with a double Whisper in the Wind. The hot tag brings in Matt, including the middle rope legdrop for two on Nitro. Back up and Nitro snaps off a super hurricanrana on Jeff but the Hardys get up again and nail stereo superplexes.

With Jeff up first, Melina gets on the apron but her slap is blocked by Jeff grabbing his arm. Jeff steps away and Nitro dropkicks Melina by mistake, setting up a rollup for a rather hot near fall. The Snapshot gets two with Matt making the save so MNM puts Jeff on top. Matt makes another save and neckbreakers them down, setting up the Swanton onto the two of them for the double pin.

Rating: B. It’s rather good and I don’t think anyone should be surprised by that. You had two great teams going at it in a twenty minute match. I’m not sure how this couldn’t be good, though it’s kind of disappointing to hear that both teams are splitting up after this. It doesn’t make sense given how good this was, but it isn’t like WWE really cares about the tag division anyway.

Commentary hypes up the Elimination Chamber. It isn’t a good sign that they need filler like this.

Rob Van Dam is ready to take the risks for the chance to become ECW Champion again.

Here’s Matt Striker for a chat and it’s time to go downhill. Striker talks about the chaos and destruction that is coming tonight in the Chamber. He asks the fans if they want to see someone like him in an extreme rules match. The fans approve, so Striker is going to be in an EXTREME RULES match tonight. Now that means an EXTREME enforcement of the RULES of course, meaning no eye gouging, hair pulling, coming off the top or foul language of course. Let’s see how extreme his opponent can be.

Matt Striker vs. Balls Mahoney

Mahoney throws him down to start so Striker comes back with some forearms. That’s broken up so Mahoney tries a cross armbreaker of all things, with Striker going straight to the ropes. More forearms to the back stagger Mahoney and striker sends him shoulder first into the post. A Regal Cutter gives Striker two and it’s time to crank on the arm.

Mahoney comes back with right hands to the face (Striker picks no eye gouging but ignores punches from a guy with a signature sequence involving punches to the face. Right.) but gets pulled into a Fujiwara armbar. That’s broken up and Mahoney’s arm gives out on the snap jab attempt. Striker crotches him on top and the Fujiwara armbar goes on again. Mahoney fights back up with a belly to back suplex and now the punches work. The sitout spinebuster finishes Striker off.

Rating: D. Ignoring the fact that we’re on pay per view, this wouldn’t have even been a good TV match. Striker wanted the rules enforced and then they had a regular match. Having Mahoney win was one of the two ways they could have gone, but if this was their way of giving the fans something to cheer for, we’re in a lot more trouble than I thought.

Brian Pillman has a DVD (not on Peacock obviously).

Sabu has been attacked. After losing on Tuesday, it isn’t like he had any momentum or chance anyway. So yeah he’s not likely for the main event and you can hear the BULLS*** chants as we come back to the arena.

Sylvester Terkay/Elijah Burke vs. FBI

Trinity is here with the FBI. Before the match, Burke promises that they will leave their mark like a wild beast in heat. Commentary drools over Trinity as Guido and Burke (in a hat) start things off. Guido takes him down (and steals his hat) by the arm and hands it off to Mamaluke. A few fans try a WHERE’S MY PIZZA chant ala the original ECW because he thinks it is still alive.

Terkay misses a splash in the corner but manages to pull Guido’s high crossbody out of the air. After Terkay throws the FBI outside, it’s back in for a chinlock from Burke. Guido fights up and hands it off to Mamaluke so the pace can pick up. A double dropkick into a double flapjack gets two on Burke but Terkay gets in a cheap shot from the apron. The Elijah Experience finishes Mamaluke.

Rating: D+. Slightly better match but that is mainly due to having slightly more interesting people involved. Terkay and Burke are two more people who don’t really feel like they belong in ECW but at least they did something here and add a little variety. Not much of a match, though you have to take what you can get on this show.

Post match, Terkay hits Guido with a MuscleBuster for a bonus.

CM Punk and Rob Van Dam watch Sabu being loaded into an ambulance.

Daivari vs. Tommy Dreamer

Great Khali is here with Daivari, who rants about how Khali in Farsi. Daivari hammers away to start but a glare from Dreamer sends him bailing outside (just don’t let Dreamer talk). Back in and a hiptoss sends Daivari right back to the floor but this time he comes back in with a dropkick. There’s a baseball slide to put Dreamer on the floor but he reverses a whip to send Daivari into the barricade.

Back in and Khali low bridges Dreamer right back to the floor, earning himself an ejection. The fans say they want hardcore but get a neck crank into a chinlock instead. Dreamer fights up drops backwards onto Daivari for the break, followed by a reverse DDT for two. The Death Valley Driver is broken up but Daivari catches him on top. That means the Tree of Woe into the running dropkick…..but then Daivari rolls him up with tights for the pin.

Rating: D-. Gah no. Another nothing match here which would have been bad either here or on television and that is hardly the kind of thing that is going to make the show better. The ending was pretty awful as Dreamer just started to get going and then Daivari pinned him without much thinking. Bad match, bad setup and worse ending, especially on this show.

Post match Dreamer chases Daivari up the stage, where Khali catches him with the tree slam. Therefore, we pause for Dreamer to be checked on but then get up.

Paul Heyman puts Hardcore Holly into the main event to replace Sabu. This is booed out of the building.

Kelly Kelly/Mike Knox vs. Ariel/Kevin Thorn

Oh this could be trouble. Before the match, Kelly wishes CM Punk luck in the main event. The guys start (thank goodness) by shoving each other around before Thorn clotheslines him down and grabs a quickly released neck crank. A hard clothesline cuts Knox down again and we hit another nothing chinlock.

Knox fights up with a slam for two and kicks Thorn in the face for a knockdown. This time it’s Knox cranking on Thorn’s neck but Ariel makes the save. She even stays in this time and wants Kelly to join her, meaning it’s time for a lot of hair pulling (Striker disapproves). A boot choke in the corner has Tazz losing his train of thought and an ax handle to the back cuts Kelly off again. Kelly manages to kick Ariel away though….and Knox walks out on her, leaving Ariel to hit a choke STO for the pin.

Rating: D-. It was a nothing match and the high point was Mike Knox vs. Kevin Thorn. This is airing on pay per view and would have been an ice cold match on TV in addition to the match being terrible as a bonus. I didn’t think this show could actually fall even further but this pay per view continues to amaze me.

Post match the beatdown stays on but Sandman makes the save. Thorn gets caned down and beer is consumed.

We get a video of Michael Cole running down the Armageddon card. Also not on Peacock.

Bobby Lashley says it is his destiny to win the title.

Video on the Elimination Chamber. Notice the high level of padding tonight.

We’re still not ready yet though as here is Paul Heyman, with security, for a chat. Heyman talks about how Hulkamania will die with Hulk Hogan and WOO will die with Ric Flair. ECW will live on behind him though, with Big Show as its champion. The days of Sandman and Sabu and Tommy Dreamer are over and it is the ECW of the Big Show. Now lower the Chamber!

ECW Title: Big Show vs. Hardcore Holly vs. CM Punk vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Test

Show is defending in the Extreme Elimination Chamber, meaning there is a weapon in each pod. Hardcore Holly is in at #1 and Rob Van Dam is in at #2 and there are five minute intervals. Holly takes him into the corner and starts kicking away but Rob pops up and gets sent into the cage….but holds onto the side because he can. The spinning high crossbody only hits the rope though and Van Dam crashes down again. Van Dam gets sent into the cage again but manages to get a boot up to cut off a diving Holly.

Rolling Thunder over the top rope hits Holly but he suplexes Van Dam back inside. There’s the dropkick and it’s CM Punk with his chair in at #3. A monkey flip sends Holly onto the chair and Punk kicks Van Dam down. The chair is wedged in the corner and Van Dam, who has been busted open somewhere in there, is sent hard into it. Punk kicks him again but Holly is back up with a side slam. Holly drops Punk onto the top rope and there’s a top rope superplex to take him down again.

Test, with his crowbar, is in at #4 and hits Punk in the ribs before clawing at Van Dam’s cut. Punk grabs a Stunner on Test of the top rope and the bloody Van Dam kicks Holly in the face. Van Dam skateboards the chair into Punk in the corner and hits the Five Star for the pin and the elimination for Punk’s first pinfall in WWE. Test kicks Holly in the face for an elimination, even if the count didn’t seem to go down properly. Van Dam goes up top but Test chairs him in the knee and pulls him right back down in a crash.

An elbow off the top of the pod onto the chair onto Van Dam is good for the elimination, meaning that the countdown to Lashley is official. It also means that the ring is clear, save for Test, for about a minute and a half because this match can’t time things either. Bobby Lashley with his table is….not allowed to get in because test and the security guards block the door. That’s fine with Lashley, who uses the table to break the roof open and climbs through the top. Eh points for a cool entrance.

Lashley unloads for a bit until Test gets him into the corner for some choking. Lashley suplexes him down, hits him with the crowbar, and nails a spear for the pin. Therefore, let’s wait a minute and a half before Big Show with his barbed wire baseball bat can come in at #6 to give us the showdown. Lashley has to use the chair to shield himself with the bat but manages to knock Show outside anyway. Show is sent through the pod to bust him open but he knocks Lashley down again. Back in and the chokeslam is countered into a DDT, followed by a spear for the pin and the title.

Rating: D. And that’s probably high. This was a really dull Chamber with the two badly times falls that left them sitting around with nothing to do for a few minutes. The match is less than twenty five minutes and you knew that Lashley had the title won with about ten minutes to go.

Look at the participants here. Van Dam, Show and Lashley are fine, but that leaves you with three pretty weak choices. Punk would go on to become a huge star, but at this point he had been around for a few months with his career consisting of feuds with Shannon Moore and Mike Knox. That is kind of lacking in any kind of meaningful wins in WWE and it showed badly. The other two are Test and Hardcore Holly as a replacement. That leaves you with three options, but Test dominated a good portion of the middle. That’s the best they could put together and that should tell you a whole low.

The show was long past the point of saving by the time we got to the match, but then they had this boring mess to make it even worse. There was no drama, the popular guys were done in less than fifteen minutes and the weapons managed to make it less violent than the previous Elimination Chambers. Not the worst match of all time, but pretty horrible and probably the worst Chamber match to date, if nothing else for the star power included and the lack of drama near the end.

Lashley’s pyro celebration ends the show.

Overall Rating: F. What is there to say about this show? It’s a good match, then a C level version of the C level TV show and a huge main event which bombed as hard as anything in recent memory. This show felt slapped together and I would bet on the middle four matches being thrown together earlier in the day. Outside of the opener, the best match on the card was the FBI vs. Sylvester Terkay and Elijah Burke. Do you get how far you have fallen to have those four in second place?

This show made it very clear that WWE did not care about ECW and there was no stopping the show’s collapse even further into nothingness. There was no effort, there was one good match out of six (featuring people not from ECW) and the main event was a mixture of predictable and bad. This is what we got for the first ECW pay per view, which does at least give us a special milestone.

With this show, you can officially say that the new ECW is done. There wasn’t much to the show coming in and then it got even worse here. The show resulted in Paul Heyman leaving WWE and ECW, making this nothing more than the dumping ground for the people with nothing else to do. It was clear that the show wasn’t going to mean anything and once Heyman left, there was no reason to pretend anymore.

Heyman argued with Vince McMahon about the show both before and after, resulting in Heyman walking out on the company and not being seen again for over five years. Heyman’s idea was to have Punk make Show submit early and win the title, which worked fine for Show. Instead, Punk goes out first to end his undefeated streak. Heyman knew that things were done so he left, and after this debacle, can you really blame him?

One thing that doesn’t get the attention it deserves is the middle of the card with the four matches between the two they actually advertised. Striker vs. Mahoney is at least a logical way to go and Daivari vs. Dreamer has been built up a bit on TV. That leaves you with a tag team squash and a mixed tag with three heels and Kelly Kelly. I know WWE has a lot of problems, but they know how to throw together a four match series better than this. This felt like they were trying to troll the fans (or at least Heyman) and with none of these matches even hitting eight minutes, the lack of effort is pretty clear.

This show is about as perfect of an example of a show where WWE didn’t care and we were just left to get over it. It was a week after Survivor Series and two weeks before Armageddon, so in addition to treating the fans to an awful show, how many fans who watched or heard about the show passed on the next show because of what WWE delivered here?

This didn’t feel like a pay per view (a two hour and fifteen minute run time, comparable to Coliseum Videos didn’t help either) and it has absolutely earned the reputation that it maintains. I know it isn’t quite the same thing as a top level WWE pay per view, but it is hard to think of anything that the company has released that is near its level. This show is a complete disaster and one of the all time bombs on pay per view.

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ECW on Sci Fi
Date: November 28, 2006
Location: HSBC Center, Buffalo New York
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s the go home show for December To Dismember and I’ll let the screaming begin now. The show has barely been touched as we have the main event and a lone tag match set, but for some reason that seems to be all we’re getting. This show is screaming BAD IDEA more than almost any I can ever remember so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is Paul Heyman, with his security, to explain how the Elimination Chamber is going to work. This one is going to be EXTREME though, because each pod will have weapons. The big new information here: what the weapons are going to be! We’ll have a chair, a crowbar, a table and a barbed wire baseball bat, all of which get a quick demonstration. Violence is promised.

Opening sequence.

Rob Van Dam vs. Sabu

Before the match, Van Dam talks about how he knows the risks in the Chamber but they are worth the reward. Sabu talks about how his scars are his sacrifices, so imagine what he would sacrifice to be champion. Van Dam rolls him up to start and monkey flips him down for two more. Sabu kicks out the knee so Rob kicks him in the face twice in a row. Rob gets crotched on top but manages to crossbody Sabu out of the air to cut off the springboard leg lariat (that was cool).

We take a break and come back with Van Dam being knocked outside where he blocks Sabu’s sunset bomb. The apron moonsault connects (kind of) and Van Dam throws him back inside for a German suplex. Sabu starts going after the knee again but misses the slingshot legdrop. Rolling Thunder connects and, after blocking a springboard tornado DDT, Van Dam nails the Five Star for the pin.

Rating: C. I mean, is anyone really buying Sabu as having a chance in the Chamber? Sabu isn’t a big star outside of the original ECW and there is no reason to buy that he is going to win the title here. Having Van Dam win here made a lot more sense and it is a good idea to give him some momentum going into the Chamber.

We recap Bobby Lashley’s debut as he jumped into the Chamber match, plus beating down Big Show last week.

Hardys vs. Elijah Burke/Sylvester Terkay

Burke sends Jeff into the corner to start so the Hardys come back with the double elbow into a flip dive from Jeff. The legdrop between the legs gets two but it’s off to Terkay to plant Jeff hard. A missed charge into the post cuts Terkay off again and the Hardys double team him down. The Twist of Fate into the Swanton finishes Terkay in a hurry (I think that’ll pretty much do it for him and the team).

Rating: D+. Just a quick match here to establish that the Hardys are still a thing. I’m not sure you need that to establish that one of the best teams ever is still a thing and I certainly don’t see the need to have Terkay take the fall, but I also don’t think they have put that much thought into anything around here. Other than that, it was a pretty simple squash and not much more.

Post match MNM runs in for the beatdown.

Clips from the December To Dismember press conference. How low level of a reporter would you have to be to draw that assignment?

CM Punk vs. Test

Test drives him into the corner to start and unloads with shots to the face. Punk comes back with forearms of his own but a clothesline cuts him off. They’re on the floor in a hurry with Punk managing to post him, only to have Test come back with a tilt-a-whirl slam for two. The chinlock doesn’t last long and there’s the shot to the face to knock Test outside. A suicide dive drops Test again and they brawl into the crowd for the double countout.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and was only supposed to be a Chamber preview. It says a lot that Test and Punk are allowed to avoid a loss while Sabu took a fall earlier tonight. The double countout makes more sense here as you don’t want someone of note taking a fall before the Chamber, which explains Sabu’s loss.

Test bails from the fight.

Paul Heyman asks Big Show why he is facing Bobby Lashley tonight. My guess is because you, the ECW boss, booked the match?

We recap the MNM beatdown from earlier.

MNM talked to the media about how awesome they are and promise to have a great one night reunion.

Kane is in See No Evil on DVD.

We run down the December To Dismember card. Usually you get a bonus match announced at this point. That isn’t the case with this show.

Another video on the Chamber.

Big Show vs. Bobby Lashley

Non-title and Paul Heyman is at ringside. In an inset promo, Show promises to retain the title on Sunday. Lashley hammers away to start but Show sends him into the corner for the big chop. Show pounds away at the ribs and superkicks Lashley down to break up the comeback bid. After standing on Lashley in the corner, Show loads up the Vader Bomb but Lashley manages a bottom rope…..I guess that’s a superplex, followed by a spear. That’s enough for Heyman, who calls in the security and Test for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Much like the previous match, this was nothing more than a way to get these people in the ring as a preview for Sunday. Lashley is probably winning the title as that is the story they have been building up, even if it might seem a bit strange given how recently he arrived. That being said, who else is supposed to get it?

Post match the beatdown is on with Lashley being destroyed, including Show covering him for a count, to end the show. They might as well have handed him the title now given how little they are hiding Sunday’s results.

Overall Rating: C. They set up the show as well as they could, but you can see the cliff coming from here. The entire pay per view is based on one match and it involves Sabu, Test, a mostly unproven CM Punk and Big Show, with Rob Van Dam and Lashley thrown in on the side. MNM vs. the Hardys will be good just because the talent is there, but egads this has all the makings of an awful pay per view.\

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Survivor Series 2006
Date: November 26, 2006
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 15,400
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

I’ve always been a big Survivor Series fan and there is something great about seeing a milestone show with the 20^th edition. On top of that, we have three elimination tag matches for a change and the card looks pretty awesome. Then again that has been the case with several shows before and you never know if it is going to live up to the hype. The big non-elimination match is Batista vs. King Booker for Book’s Smackdown World Title so let’s get to it.

The opening video briefly talks about the anniversary before moving on to a traditional hype video looking at the big matches.

Team Legends vs. Spirit Squad

Legends: Ric Flair, Sgt. Slaughter, Dusty Rhodes, Ron Simmons

Spirit Squad: Kenny, Johnny, Mikey, Nicky

Arn Anderson and Mitch are at ringside. The Squad has been insulting Flair and the rest of the legends so it’s time to go to school. Simmons is replacing the injured Roddy Piper and scares Mikey down to start. A powerslam drops Mikey again and it’s a bunch of clotheslines to take the rest of the Squad down. Mitch offers a distraction though and Simmons goes out after him.

The stalking and watching Anderson beat up Mitch take a bit too long though and Simmons gets counted out. Simmons takes Mitch to the back with him and Anderson is ejected (with the fans NOT approving). That means Nicky gets to come in and request a salute from Slaughter, who works on his arm instead. It’s off to Flair for some shots of his own before handing it back to Slaughter for the cobra clutch. Kenny gets in a kick to the back of Slaughter’s head though and the mostly out Nicky gets the pin.

Dusty comes in for the Bionic Elbow to get rid of Nicky and it’s 3-2. Some jabs get Dusty out of the corner but a rollup is enough to finish him off. That leaves Flair alone against Kenny/Mikey/Johnny but Flair grabs a rollup and puts his feet on the ropes for the pin. A small package gets rid of Kenny, meaning Flair can chop Johnny and put him in the Figure Four for the fast tap. Flair beat the last three of them in about two minutes.

Rating: D. The wrestling wasn’t the point here of course and it isn’t like the Squad means anything in the first place. Flair can beat all of these guys without breaking a sweat and he came pretty close here. The team almost has to be done now and that is going to be better for Raw at this point. The idea wasn’t going to work no matter what they did so to get as much as they did out of them is impressive enough. Pretty bad in-ring stuff, and that was never the point.

Post match the big beatdown is on with no one coming out for the save.

We recap Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero for Benoit’s US Title. Benoit thinks that Chavo and Vickie Guerrero are taking advantage of Eddie Guerrero’s estate but they told him to stay out of their business (a fair point). Chavo beat Benoit up and tonight he can win the title.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero

Chavo, with Vickie, is challenging. Benoit starts very fast with a slam into a backbreaker for two, followed by easily winning a strike off. A snap suplex and slam get two each on Chavo as JBL says Chavo made Rey quit like a little girl. I’m almost scared to imagine when/how JBL made a little girl say she quit. Chavo comes back with a series of strikes and sends Benoit hard into the post.

There’s a Saito suplex for two and the armbar goes on. Benoit gets creative with a Samoan drop to escape but Chavo dropkicks him right back down. A suplex sets up the frog splash for two but Chavo stops to yell some more. Benoit fights up again and knocks Chavo away for a needed breather so Vickie gets on the apron. After dealing the pesky manager, it’s the Crossface to retain the title.

Rating: C. That is pretty much it for Chavo being seen as anything serious as he loses the big showdown after Benoit kicks out of his finisher. What other reason is there to buy into him at this point? Chavo was not exactly a can’t miss prospect here anyway and it’s ok for him to not win, but this should wrap it up on him being seen as a serious villain, at least for the time being.

Lita, with Edge, affirms that she is still retiring after her title match against Mickie James no matter what. Edge makes fun of Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb while Cryme Tyme sneaks in and steals a box. Edge rants about DX as Cryme Tyme sneaks out of the room.

Women’s Title: Lita vs. Mickie James

Lita is defending and gets driven into the corner for some shoulders to the ribs to start. Some kicks to the ribs slow Mickie down and Lita counters a headscissors out of the corner by slamming Mickie down on her face (the simple ones always work). The fans deem Lita a “crack w****” as she gets some near falls. With the chant down, Lawler is right there with more jokes about Lita as the bodyscissors has Mickie in trouble.

Lita misses a splash of all things, sending Lawler into the joy of hope over a wardrobe malfunction. Mickie kicks her in the face for two but the hurricanrana out of the corner is countered into another faceplant. The Litacanrana gets two but the DDT is countered with a grab of the rope. They trade rollups for two each until Mickie hits the MickieDT for the pin and the title.

Rating: C-. The match was about what you would expect from a big Raw showdown but what matters is passing the torch (which Mickie has held before). The bad thing here was the amount of jokes at Lita’s expense, as commentary laid it in even thicker than usual. I know she’s leaving, but WWE can be rather cruel with these things at times, which was the case here.

Post match Lita insists on being called the greatest of all time but has to rant at the fans for disrespecting her so much. Cue Cryme Tyme with the box, sending Lita further over the edge. It’s time for a “ho sale” but it’s cash only. First item up is some yeast infection medicine, followed by some underwear (which JBL wants to smell before buying). Something that vibrates goes for $25 and finally, Lita’s box (it’s cheap and wide) is a hot item to wrap it up. Kind of a cruel way to go, but at least it saves them the cost of a trash bag (April 2021 reference for those of you reading this in 3847).

Earlier today, Batista wouldn’t answer any of Michel Cole’s questions. After a clip of the beatdown on Smackdown, Batista says he’s leaving as champion.

Team DX vs. Team Rated-RKO

DX: HHH/Shawn Michaels/Matt Hardy/CM Punk/Jeff Hardy

Rated-RKO: Edge/Randy Orton/Gregory Helms/Mike Knox/Johnny Nitro

The fans are way into Punk so HHH lets him ask if they are ready. The bell rings and HHH has Kelly Kelly get on the apron for a better view (while covering Shawn’s eyes of course). The distraction lets Shawn hit the superkick for a fast pin and elimination. Shawn chops away at Nitro and hands it off to Jeff to knock him down as well. Helms comes in to take Matt down and it’s Edge coming in as well to stomp away.

The villains start taking turns on Matt, who has to cover up from Nitro’s right hands to the head. Matt kicks him away and brings Punk in, much to the fans’ delight. Matt’s neck snap across the top sets up a Rock Bottom into the Anaconda Vice to eliminate Nitro. Orton dropkicks Punk down and Helms takes over with a front facelock to keep him on the mat for a bit.

The yet to be named Codebreaker connects for Helms and the RKO gets two with HHH making a save. It’s back to HHH for the jumping knees to the face as everything breaks down. Jeff and Shawn hit some dives onto the floor, leaving HHH to bust Helms’ spine. The Twist of Fate into the spinebuster gets rid of Helms and it’s Rated-RKO against all five members of the other team. Rated-RKO try to leave but get thrown back inside for Poetry in Motion into Sweet Chin Music to get rid of Edge. Another superkick into the Pedigree finishes Orton for the win.

Rating: D+. How weird is it to see a squash in a Survivor Series elimination match? Granted the talent on one side was completely nuts but my goodness man. This was completely one sided and I’m not sure how wise that was. Rated-RKO were decimated here, Helms’ title somehow lost even more value and Nitro was just a guy. It was fun, but I’m not sure if this was the smartest move.

We recap Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker. Kennedy is the latest young guy to go after Undertaker and say he is the new big star. This time Kennedy even managed to bust Undertaker open with his microphone so tonight it’s a First Blood match, which seems like a nice way out of having someone take a fall.

Mr. Kennedy is ready for his match but MVP gives him a pep talk anyway.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker

First Blood. Kennedy hammers away to start and gets knocked over the top for his efforts. Undertaker sends him face first into the announcers’ table and then throws Kennedy over it for a bonus. Some headbutts have Kennedy in pain and there’s a big boot to to drop him again. Kennedy is back up with a whip into the steps but gets posted to cut that off in a hurry. Back in and Undertaker hits a top rope superplex but Kennedy is back with a low blow.

Undertaker doesn’t seem to mind and kicks away at the ribs before hammering away in the corner. Another low blow slows Undertaker down but Kennedy’s nose is busted. Cue MVP to towel Kennedy’s blood off….and throw Kennedy back inside as payback for Kennedy doing the same thing on Smackdown. Kennedy hammers away but here is MVP with a chair, which hits Undertaker by mistake (in theory) to bust him open. The referee finally sees it to give Kennedy the win.

Rating: C. The ending sets up a few more things, including MVP’s complete and utter destruction. Much like MVP winning the cage match against Kane on Smackdown, this is the kind of win that helps make Kennedy look that much more important. Of course it would be better to have Undertaker get pinned, but that isn’t something that happens very often so take what you can get here. Granted that’s Undertaker beating Kennedy up for most of the match and then getting cheated at the end, though I doubt Kennedy would mind.

Post match Kennedy brags about the win and talks a lot of trash, allowing Undertaker to wrap a chair around Kennedy’s head. Kennedy is busted open and Undertaker gives him a nasty Tombstone. The gloves come off and some bare knuckle punches have the bloody Kennedy bleeding even more. The referee drags him off.

Queen Sharmell gives King Booker a pep talk so Booker can monologue about how this is it for Batista.

Team Cena vs. Team Big Show

Cena: John Cena, Bobby Lashley, Rob Van Dam, Kane, Sabu

Big Show: Big Show, Finlay, MVP, Test, Umaga

Cena avoids Umaga’s charge to start and sends him outside. Everything breaks down and Umaga hits Cena in the ribs with a TV monitor for the fact DQ. We settle down to Test elbowing Van Dam in the corner and planting him down so MVP can come in with the chinlock. Van Dam, with his nose bleeding, fights up and scores with the spinning kick to the face.

More kicks put all of the villains down and it’s Kane kicking MVP in the face. The Five Star gets rid of MVP but Test is right there with the big boot to eliminate Van Dam. Test sends Sabu outside but Lashley nails a spear, allowing Sabu to hit a tornado DDT for the pin. Show comes straight in to chokeslam Sabu for the pin as these eliminations are flying by. The Leprechaun comes out to give Finlay the Shillelagh and a shot to the head rocks Kane, setting up a chokeslam so Big Show can get rid of him too.

So it’s Cena/Lashley vs. Show/Finlay with Show powerslamming Cena in a hurry. Finlay comes in to stomp away but Cena gets in a knockdown of his own. That’s enough to bring in Lashley and everything breaks down again. A double clothesline drops Show but here’s the Leprechaun, who is thrown onto Cena. The distraction lets Lashley spear Finlay down for the pin and we’re down to 201. Cena manages to DDT Show and there’s a double suplex to put him down again. The finishing sequence is initiated and the FU finishes Show.

Rating: D+. his match, which featured eight eliminations, is now the longest match of the night at about twelve and a half minutes. I’m not sure why we need to go that short with everything but it has been a problem with almost everything on the show. Cena and Lashley teaming up to take out Show worked, but was there really any need for five eliminations in less than two minutes?

We recap Batista vs. King Booker for the Smackdown World Title. Batista had to vacate the title earlier this year due to an injury in this very building. It is his missing to get it back but Booker isn’t going it up so easily. If Batista loses, he can never challenge Booker for the title again.

Smackdown World Title: King Booker vs. Batista

Batista is challenging and starts fast by jumping him before the bell. They get inside to officially start the match with Batista hammering away in the corner. The threat of a Batista Bomb sends Booker bailing to the floor and the fans aren’t pleased. Back in and Batista hammers away even more but a hot shot gets Booker out of trouble. A catapult sends Batista throat first into the bottom rope and Booker stomps away even more.

Booker pokes him in the eye but you don’t need two eyes to hit a side slam for two. They head to the apron for a slugout with Batista knocking him back in. Sharmell grabs the leg though and Booker kicks him out to the floor again. Back in and Booker pounds him down into a chinlock as Cole asks JBL what it feels like to try and get the title back. JBL: “I’m not a loser Michael. Bring up something else.”

Batista fights up and hits the clotheslines into a big boot to send Booker outside. That means a whip into the steps, followed by a top rope shoulder (dang) for two back inside. Booker is right back with a Bookend for two but Batista is up with the Batista Bomb. They’re right next to the rope so Booker saves himself, allowing Sharmell to hand him the title. A Sharmell distraction doesn’t work though as Batista ducks the shot and takes the belt away. Batista’s belt shot is enough for the pin, the title, and the energized celebration.

Rating: D, This really didn’t work and the ending was stupid. How much of a conqueror does this make Batista, when he needed a belt shot to beat Booker? It’s a reclaiming the glory story and that should work, but the lack of drama didn’t help anything. Pretty awful main event with the main bright spot being the fact that they didn’t go long here. It’s the longest match of the show at less than fourteen minutes and it felt every one of them.

Batista celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. For a show that looked pretty fun on paper, this wound up being a nearly complete miss with nothing worth seeing, a bunch of matches that felt rushed, and a World Title change in the end that was about as lame as possible. These Survivor Series matches are supposed to be about hanging in there over a grueling match, but Finlay and Benoit had a match on Smackdown that was longer than anything here. It wasn’t the worst show, but someone needs to teach them how to Survivor Series.

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ECW on Sci Fi
Date: November 21, 2006
Location: Nassau Coliseum, Long Island, New York
Attendance: 10,500
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

It is the go home show for Survivor Series, but we are also less than two weeks away from December To Dismember. The big story coming out of last week was the debut of Bobby Lashley to finally give ECW a fresh main eventer. Other than that, we have some guest stars this week with the Hardys dropping by. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Bobby Lashley making a surprise debut last week to take what appeared to be Hardcore Holly’s Elimination Chamber spot.

Opening sequence.

Here is Matt Striker in the ring, complete with his classroom, to talk about how scary the Elimination Chamber will be. You shouldn’t have to wait for December To Dismember for the carnage and destruction so tonight he will annihilate Bobby Lashley. Striker offers a comparison between the two, including Lashley doing a tour with the military and Striker doing a tour with the New York City public school system. As Striker (probably accurately) says that his job was more dangerous, here is Lashley to wreck the classroom and get things going.

Bobby Lashley vs. Matt Striker

Some suplexes and a spear set up the Dominator to beat Striker in about a minute. More competitive than I would have bet on.

Full Blooded Italians vs. Hardy Boyz

This is the Hardys’ first time together in four years. Matt takes Guido into the corner by the arm to start and hands it off to Jeff to stay on said arm. A double leg trip puts Guido down again so it’s off to Tony Mamaluke, who gets caught in the Spin Cycle. The Whisper in the Wind misses though and a pair of elbows to the back gets two on Jeff.

There’s a double belly to back suplex for two but Jeff jawbreaks his way out of a chinlock. The diving tag brings in Matt and it’s time to clean house in a hurry. Matt hits bulldog/running clothesline combination to set up the middle rope legdrop. A middle rope sitout powerbomb/neckbreaker drops Guido and the Swanton is good for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was little more than a squash and that’s all it was supposed to be. The Hardys being back is a pretty good deal and it would probably draw in some extra eyes to ECW. The whole reunion concept is almost always going to get at least a quick look and the fact that the Hardys are still good helps a lot.

Rob Van Dam comes in to see Paul Heyman (and his security) and agrees that he is willing to do anything to be champion. Heyman threatens to suspend him for showing up unannounced last week but has another idea instead: if Hardcore Holly beats him tonight in their Extreme Rules match, Holly is in the Chamber instead.

Video on Sabu.

Kevin Thorn vs. CM Punk

Ariel is here with Thorn, who shoulders Punk down hard to start. Punk is back with a kick but charges into an elbow in the corner. We hit the early chinlock with a knee in Punk’s back, setting up the Boston crab to keep Punk screaming. Cue Kelly Kelly to cheer Punk on and he quickly reverses into the Anaconda Vice for the tap.

Post match the catfight is on with Kelly getting the better of things and Punk kicking Thorn to the floor. We get a hug and here’s Mike Knox to glare from the stage.

Here are Paul Heyman and Big Show for a chat. Show thought the idea of the Extreme Elimination Chamber was crazy because the Elimination Chamber is scary enough as it is. Now we are going to have the most extreme match in history with a bunch of weapons and five challengers, but Show likes his odds. He lists off all of his successful title defenses and says no one can beat him. Cue Bobby Lashley and the fight is on, with Lashley knocking him out to the floor with a belt shot. Just give him the title already.

Video on the Elimination Chamber.

Test gives Hardcore Holly a pep talk. Let me repeat that: TEST gave someone a PEP talk. Just pack it in now people.

Rob Van Dam vs. Hardcore Holly

Extreme Rules and if Holly wins, he gets Van Dam’s Chamber spot. Van Dam kicks him in the face to start and then down it again for a bonus. They head outside with Van Dam hitting the spinning kick to the back over the barricade. We take a break and come back with Holly kicking Van Dam into a chair wedged in the corner. Holly puts said chair on Rob’s face and stomps on it for two, followed by a throat first drop onto the open chair.

The chinlock goes on for a bit before Holly hits some forearms to the chest. Van Dam gets in a kick and grabs a chair but gets dropkicked right back to the floor. Back in and Holly puts the chair on Van Dam’s face for the middle rope knee, meaning it’s time for a whipping with a belt.

Rob is back with a kick to the face and the clothesline comeback is on. The monkey flip out of the corner sets up a top rope kick to the jaw. The skateboard chair to the face rocks Holly again but he gets up and chairs Van Dam in the back. Van Dam catches him on top with a top rope superplex onto the chair, followed by the Five Star onto the chair onto Holly for the pin.

Rating: B. This took some time to get going before they started beating each other senseless with one big move after another. It’s also nice to see them not go crazy with the weapons, as the biggest thing here was the chair. Van Dam beating Holly to keep him out of the Chamber (for now) is a good sign, but ECW really likes Holly so you can almost guarantee that this isn’t done yet.

Overall Rating: C+. They kept it to the point here and that’s all they should have done. Survivor Series was only mentioned as the next place for the Hardys to team together, with Knox and Show’s appearances there having no build at all. That leaves us with December To Dismember and the Chamber….with nothing else announced for the card and a single week to go. You don’t think that’s going to be a problem right?

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Wrestlemania XXXVII Night Two
Date: April 11, 2021
Location: Raymond James Stadium, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Samoa Joe, Byron Saxton
America the Beautiful: Ashland Craft

It’s time for the second half of the show and hopefully it is just as good if not better than last night. This time we have the main event of Roman Reigns defending the Universal Title against Daniel Bryan and Edge, along with four more title matches. That should make this feel more like a complete Wrestlemania, though I’m still not sure on whether I like one or two nights better. Let’s get to it.

Here is Night One if you need a recap.

America the Beautiful, with the roster on the stage.

We get the same opening video from last night, again with the Captain Jack Sparrow impersonator though with some fresh visuals.

Here are Titus O’Neil and Hulk Hogan to get things going….and they’re in pirate costumes. They make pirate jokes and the fans do not seem overly interested as we are thrown to our first match.

Randy Orton vs. The Fiend

Fiend has been tormenting Orton so Orton burned him alive. Now the charred remains of the Fiend are back for revenge. Orton is in white gear in a look I don’t remember seeing before. We see Fiend walking through the hall backstage and he transforms from the burned version into the regular one. Before Fiend appears, here’s Alexa Bliss with a huge jack in the box on the floor (it goes above the top rope). She turns the crank and the Fiend pops out of the box like the boss in a fairly creative game.

Fiend jumps off of the box and clotheslines Orton down as the red lights are back. A release Rock Bottom plants Orton and Fiend shouts what sounds like YOWIE WOWIE. Fiend loads up his own Punt but Orton bails out to the floor. That’s fine with Fiend, who follows him out with the Mandible Claw. Orton rolls inside for the break and there’s the hanging DDT to drop Fiend for all of two seconds.

The RKO is countered so Orton sends him into the side of the box (“box like structure” according to Cole) and there’s another DDT. Fiend is back up with the crossbody and right hands so Orton sends him outside again. That means a third DDT and this time Fiend stays down for a bit. The RKO is countered into the Mandible Claw and Sister Abigail is loaded up….but fire comes out of the posts. Bliss is sitting on top of the box with the black goo all over her. Fiend is distracted enough that the RKO can finish him at 5:54.

Rating: D. And I thought the bugs on the mat were never going to be topped. The Fiend gets to lose to Orton again in another idea that probably sounded great on paper but since this company doesn’t get that there is more to it than that, this is what we get. I don’t know if they’re going with the beauty killed the beast idea or something like that, but good grief man. Is it asking too much for Fiend to be able to get a bit win without doing something stupid? Awful stuff again, and hopefully they get it out of the way here.

Post match Fiend stares at Bliss and the lights go out. When they come back up, both of them are gone.

Bayley comes up to Hulk Hogan, Titus O’Neil and Eric Bischoff as they talk about Sasha Banks and Bianca Belair. She offers Bischoff a spot on her show but Bischoff would rather have Belair on. Hogan and Bischoff leave to talk about Hogan’s new boat, though Titus does give Bayley his pirate hat.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Natalya/Tamina vs. Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler

Natalya/Tamina are defending after winning Tag Team Turmoil last night. Natalya and Shayna go to the mat to start and it’s an early standoff. Nia comes in and wants Tamina, who gets what I hope are ironic cheers. Tamina’s headbutt sets up an unsuccessful slam attempt so it’s back to Natalya to take Shayna down. A catapult sends Shayna into a superkick from Tamina for two.

Shayna is back up with a knee to Natalya’s face as Jax beats up Tamina on the floor. It’s time to start in on Natalya’s leg, including a nasty stomp to twist the ankle around. Nia comes in to stay on the knee and we get some of the trademark Natalya screaming. A missed charge sends Nia shoulder first into the post but she is back up with a spinebuster with Tamina having to make the save.

The hot tag brings in Tamina (which they miss on the first try because they can’t even SLAP HANDS properly) and the pace picks up. Tamina blocks the Kirifuda Clutch is straight power and Samoan drops Shayna for two. Shayna catches Tamina on top but Natalya breaks up a super Samoan drop from Nia. That sets up a double high crossbody to give Nia two, though she seems to bang up her knee in the process.

Nia shouts at Tamina a lot so Tamina backhands her in the face. A slam (with less rotation than Lex Luger got on Yokozuna) plants (kind of) Jax for two and we get a TAMINA chant because wresting fans are annoying. The Superfly Splash misses and it’s Natalya and Shayna coming back in, with Natalya dropkicking Shayna first. The Sharpshooter has Nia in trouble but Baszler grabs the Kirifuda Clutch on Natalya to retain at 14:21.

Rating: D. What does it say that I’m relieved Nia Jax is still a champion? This went WAY too long as WWE will not give up on the idea of Tamina and Natalya being something. The match was completely uninteresting because of who was in there and it isn’t like the action was very good either. Awful match, as WWE continues to not have the first clue of how to use these titles.

We recap Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn. Sami has been going a little bit nuts because he is convinced that there is a huge conspiracy against him. Owens does not seem to buy it but Zayn has even brought in YouTube sensation Logan Paul, who doesn’t quite seem to buy Sami’s conspiracy theory. Paul is here tonight in an undefined role.

Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens

It’s pretty awesome that these two are getting to face each other at Wrestlemania. Sami comes out first and introduces Paul, who does not seem that popular. Owens plants him with a Pop Up Powerbomb at the bell so Sami rolls outside. That means Sami has to grab the ropes to avoid an apron powerbomb. Sami gets dropped ribs first across the top rope and there’s the Cannonball to crush him again.

The threat of Owens going to the top sends Sami outside again but this time he catches Owens with a brainbuster on the apron for a big reaction (egads). Back in and the Michinoku Driver (Cole calls it a Blue Thunder Bomb, but Graves “saves him from the internet” by correcting him. Cole: “Thanks Corey. I got enough of that last night.”) gives Sami two so he puts Owens on top.

Some headbutts send Sami flying and the frog splash gives Owens two of his own. A fisherman’s buster onto the knee knocks Zayn silly for two more but ht he’s right back with the exploder suplex into the corner. The Helluva Kick and Stunner both miss so Sami grabs the Blue Thunder Bomb for two. Another exploder sets up a nasty half and half suplex to rock Owens and the brainbuster gets another near fall.

Sami takes him up again and gets countered into the swinging fisherman’s superplex to crush Zayn and have Paul slumped over in his chair. Back up and Sami hits the Helluva Kick but makes the mistake of trying another one, allowing Owens to hit a superkick. Another superkick sets up the Stunner to pin Zayn at 9:17.

Rating: B-. A lot of what made this work was just seeing Owens vs. Zayn at Wrestlemania. These two have one of the deepest histories in modern wrestling and it must be so special to them to get to do this. Good match too, with Owens getting a win like he deserves after having such a great series with Reigns. Also, thanks for getting the show on track after the awful first hour.

Post match Paul checks on Sami as he gets up so Sami yells a lot and reminds Paul that Owens is the enemy. Paul shoves him down and storms off so Paul raises Owens’ hand. The Stunner leaves him laying so Owens can hug his family. Paul is helped out and asks why Owens did that.

Riddle runs into Great Khali and congratulates him on the Hall of Fame. He thinks Khali should open a store for giant sized people and sell giant toilets and scooters. There seems to be a communication issue so Rob Van Dam comes in to act as a translator. Van Dam says Khali says they need to dominate the market share with good marketing ideas, so Van Dam recommends his brand of rolling papers (to a big pop).

US Title: Sheamus vs. Riddle

Riddle is defending after Sheamus attacked him with Riddle’s own scooter a few weeks back. One day someone is going to have to explain the birds on Riddle’s entrance. Sheamus takes him down with a headlock takeover to start and stomps away but Riddle is back up with a choke on Sheamus’ back. That’s broken up and the swinging Rock Bottom plants Riddle again.

The Irish Curse connects but Riddle is back up with some shots to the face. Sheamus knocks him back and goes up so Riddle catches him with a top rope flipping belly to belly superplex. Some running forearms set up the exploder into the Broton into the Jackhammer for two (he can’t let the Goldberg stuff go) on Sheamus and Riddle is stunned. The Bro Derek is broken up and Sheamus sends him to the apron. Riddle flips back in for a knee to the face (looked like it was supposed to be the Brogue Kick, as Cole called it) for two.

An Alabama Slam gets two on Riddle, who is right back up with a suplex to the floor. The Floating Bro drops Sheamus again and they head back inside. Another Floating Bro gets two but Sheamus knocks him back again. Sheamus goes up top so Riddle follows him, only to have Sheamus load up a super White Noise.

That’s a bit too much though as they slip off, leaving Sheamus to hit the regular White Noise. Sheamus adds a top rope knee for two (proving that Riddle is tougher than Bruno Sammartino) so Riddle tries another springboard flip, which is Brogue Kicked out of the air (in some great timing) to give Sheamus the pin and the title at 10:49.

Rating: B-. These guys beat the heck out of each other, though some of the spots didn’t quite connect as planned. The ending made up for a lot of that though and while I’m not wild on Riddle’s short reign, Sheamus absolutely deserves something after his great run run with Drew McIntyre. Solid midcard match between two hard hitting guys, though I’m not sure where Riddle goes from here. Sheamus isn’t likely a long term champion, but him putting someone over will be a good moment.

HHH gives Bad Bunny a golden microphone to start his world tour.

We recap Big E. vs. Apollo Crews for the Intercontinental Title. Big E. won the title on Christmas night and defeated Crews to retain it. Crews thinks there have been shenanigans so he attacked Big E. Then Crews embraced his Nigerian roots and gained an accent, a scarf and a spear. Then Big E. beat Crews to retain it so Crews thought there had been shenanigans so he attacked Big E. Now it’s a Nigerian Drum Fight, which seems to be another hardcore match, in Big E.’s hometown.

Intercontinental Title: Big E. vs. Apollo Crews

Big E. is defending in a Nigerian Drum Fight, meaning anything goes and you can only win by pin or submission. Wale performs Big E.’s entrance live for a bonus. Big E. looks rather emotional and has a Feeding Tampa Bay (charity) logo on his entrance gear. Commentary explains that this has nothing to do with percussion instruments, but rather beating your opponent like a drum, though there is a gong at ringside.

There are also various weapons, including some kendo sticks, with both of them grabbing one to beat on the other. Big E. gets the better of it and they head outside, where there are indeed drums. A superkicks gets Crews a breather and he sends Big E. into the gong. Back in and Big E. spears Crews through the ropes to the floor and it’s time to pick some new weapons. Crews knocks him down and puts Big E. onto the steps. He picks up the other half and goes to the apron to crush Big E. but only hits steps.

Big E. is back up with a release Rock Bottom off the apron and onto the steps for a rather disturbing thud. A table is set up but it takes a bit too long, allowing Crews to hammer away with a kendo stick. The frog splash through the table only hits table though, allowing Big E. to nail the Big Ending. Cue a giant (Dabba Kato of Raw Underground fame) in something like a military uniform to beat Big E. down though, including a chokeslam. The giant puts Crews on top for the pin and the title at 6:50.

Rating: C+. They beat each other up well enough here and the title change was a nice moment, but Big E. being the latest star to have the big moment in his hometown is rather depressing. I’m not sure what WWE’s obsession with that is but it gets a little tiring. Also, for those keeping track, this is the second night in a row where a member of New Day has lost a title in the fourth match of the show thanks to a giant hitting something like a chokeslam.

Video on the first night of Wrestlemania.

Hall of Fame ceremony video.

The Hall of Fame class is presented:

Molly Holly

Great Khali

Ozzy Osbourne (not here)

Eric Bischoff

Rob Van Dam

Rich Hering (Warrior Award)

Kane (gets the headliner entrance)

We recap Asuka vs. Rhea Ripley for the Raw Women’s Title. Asuka has been champion for most of the last year and Ripley debuted to challenge her. Not much more to it than that and it really doesn’t need to.

Raw Women’s Title: Rhea Ripley vs. Asuka

Ripley is challenging and gets played to the ring live by Ash Costello. Asuka starts fast by kicking her into the corner and then counters a charge into a drop toehold into the middle buckle. That’s enough to send Ripley outside for a breather so Asuka follows her out with a knee to the face. Back in and Asuka kicks Ripley in the back as it seems Ripley is a bit shaken up by the pressure to start.

Ripley gets in her own kick and a belly to back faceplant gets two. The fans are split here as Ripley grabs a bodyscissors and shouts about how much she wants this. That’s broken up and Ripley slows the pace for some hard clotheslines. Asuka counters a kick to the chest into a kneebar so Ripley goes with the power to muscle up into a German suplex. Some shoulders in the corner stay on Asuka’s back and Ripley takes her up top.

That can’t go well so Asuka knocks her down and nails a good missile dropkick. Asuka’s German suplex sets up the rapid fire strikes, capped off by the big kick to the head for two. Asuka goes up again but this time Ripley dropkicks her down, setting up a face first drop onto the apron (which thankfully doesn’t smudge Asuka’s eye makeup). They fight to the apron and Asuka grabs a DDT to the floor (GEEZ) with Ripley thudding hard. That gets seven, because dropping four feet from the apron to the floor and landing on your head isn’t worth an eight these days.

Back in and Asuka fires off the Kawada kicks but the sliding knee is countered into some stomps to the head. The Prism Trap is countered into an armbar but Ripley swings her into the corner for the break. A bottom rope superplex (you don’t see that every day) gets two on Asuka so she tries the Asuka Lock. That’s broken up so she misses Ripley’s head, allowing the Riptide to give Ripley the pin and the title at 14:15.

Rating: B-. Perfectly fine match, but there was no story coming in and the ending did kind of come out of nowhere. What matters here though is they got the winner right as Asuka has done just about everything she can with the title. Also, it was kind of nice to not have it be Charlotte giving Asuka a major loss for a change. Good match here, though not exactly a break the door down debut for Ripley.

We recap Fiend beating Randy Orton. That might not be the right thing to recap.

Here are Hulk Hogan and Titus O’Neil to thank the fans and everyone who made this possible but Bayley interrupts. She demands her thank you and pyro because she has been carrying this show on her back for the last two nights…..and here are the Bellas to interrupt. Bayley: “I don’t know what you heard, but John Cena is not here tonight!” Nikki slaps her and Brie gives her a facebuster as the fans are not pleased. Hulk and Titus dance with the Bellas to wrap it up.

Here’s what’s coming to Peacock, with the main focus on the Ruthless Aggression series.

We recap the main event of Roman Reigns defending the Universal Title against Edge and Daniel Bryan. Edge won the Royal Rumble after returning from another long term injury, but wasn’t happy that Daniel Bryan is complaining about not getting his own shot. Bryan won the Elimination Chamber and then had to face Reigns immediately, with Reigns winning in less than two minutes. Bryan wanted another shot and had Reigns tapping at Fastlane but guest referee Edge cost him the match after accidentally getting knocked down. Therefore, it’s a triple threat for the title.

Universal Title: Roman Reigns vs. Edge vs. Daniel Bryan

Reigns is defending and Edge gets a monster pop. Paul Heyman and Jey Uso, with the lei’s, are here with Reigns. We’re ready to go after the Big Match Intros and Reigns decks Bryan at the bell. Edge hammers on Reigns but Bryan is back up, only to be thrown outside. Uso drops Bryan on the floor and then does the same to Edge, leaving Reigns as the only one up. Reigns loads up the announcers’ table but Bryan is back up with the suicide dive.

Uso is right there to take both of them down though, earning himself a whip into the steps from Edge. Reigns gets posted too and Edge is the only one left standing. The Edgecution plants Uso on the steps and medics come in to take him out. That leaves Bryan to hurricanrana Edge off the top but Edge rolls him up for two. Reigns is back up on the apron so Bryan slides between his legs to pull him back to the floor.

Bryan’s missile dropkick hits Edge and he nips up but Reigns counters the suicide dive into an overhead belly to belly. Back in and Edge counters the Superman Punch into the Edgecution but loads up the spear instead f covering. The spear is cut off with a Superman Punch so Reigns loads up his own spear. That’s countered into a sunset flip for two, leaving them to both try spears at the same time and collide.

Bryan comes back in with a Swan Dive each with Reign having to kick out. Edge is knocked outside, leaving Bryan to stomp on Reigns’ head over and over. The YES Lock goes on (and Heyman’s eyes pop up) until Edge makes a save to give us a quick breather. Bryan YES Locks Edge with Reigns making a save this time, setting up a powerbomb to drive Bryan into Edge. Reigns isn’t done though as he takes Bryan outside for a powerbomb off the steps and through the announcers’ table, allowing Edge to spear Reigns off the steps for the three way knockdown.

Edge is up first and grabs a chair to knock Reigns down again. The Crossface, complete with a piece of the chair in Reigns’ mouth, has Reigns in trouble inside but Bryan comes in with a YES Lock to Reigns at the same time. Bryan and Edge headbutt the heck out of each other for the break so Bryan stomps on Edge’s head too. The running knee is countered by Edge’s spear though and another spear gets two on Reigns with Bryan having to pull the referee out.

Edge is incensed so he chairs Bryan in the back. The chair is taken inside so Edge can chair both of them over and over as the psycho eyes are back at full strength (he was always great at those). With both of them down, Edge loads up a pair of Conchairtos, because covering is a little too basic for him. The first Conchairto hits Bryan but Jey Uso is back in to save Reigns but Edge spears him down. Reigns spears Edge down and gives him a Conchairto for the double pin at 21:49.

Rating: A-. I really liked this and above all else, it came off as a Wrestlemania quality match and main event. I’m rather pleased with the ending as well, even if it seemed like the least likely result. You could feel all three as possible winners more than once and that is a great feeling to have. Awesome main event here and by far the best match of the two nights.

A lot of pyro and replays take us out.

Overall Rating: B-. The first hour really dragged this one down a lot but they did what they could to make up for it. The very good main event helped it a lot and allowed it to overcome a fairly weak middle of the show, but that first hour was the big problem. This one felt more like Wrestlemania than the first night, though the real version is somewhere between the two with some stuff cut out. It still isn’t a great Wrestlemania or even very close, but what we got was very good and I’ll take that after last year’s mostly forgotten show.

Overall Overall Rating: B. Two good halves make for a rather good weekend and it felt like WWE was back to normal, if only for two nights. I know it is time to go back to the Thunderdome (even the new one this time) but it was so nice to have things back to normal for a change. The wrestling was mostly (though not entirely) good and we had some memorable moments, though it is pretty clear that they need to fine tune the Wrestlemania formula again before Dallas. Still though, very enjoyable weekend and it made me smile about wrestling for the first time in a good while.

Results

Randy Orton b. The Fiend – RKO

Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler b. Tamina/Natalya – Kirifuda Clutch to Natalya

Kevin Owens b. Sami Zayn – Stunner

Sheamus b. Riddle – Brogue Kick

Apollo Crews b. Big E. – Chokeslam

Rhea Ripley b. Asuka – Riptide

Roman Reigns b. Daniel Bryan and Edge – Double pin

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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ECW on Sci Fi
Date: November 7, 2006
Location: Mark of the Quad, Moline, Illinois
Commentators: Tazz, Joey Styles

We’re coming up on December To Dismember and that means the Extreme Elimination Chamber is coming. You might consider this a warning, but we need to have some more participants set for the thing. I’m not sure what else we are going to have on the way there, but this place is in need of something fresh. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last week’s main event with Paul Heyman dressing like a gorilla to attack Rob Van Dam from behind. Heyman can be a weird guy.

Opening sequence.

Extreme Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Mike Knox vs. CM Punk

Knox sends Kelly Kelly to the back to make him even more of a heel. They trade shots to the face in the corner to start with Punk kicking him in the head for two. Knox elbows him in the face though and starts stomping away until Punk ties him in the ropes for something close to the Anaconda Vice. The springboard clothesline sends Knox outside and an Oklahoma roll gives Punk two back inside. Knox knees him in the back for two and a backbreaker makes it worse.

We hear about these two being parts of Team Rated RKO and Team DX at Survivor Series as a backbreaker gives Knox two. Punk fights out of a chinlock so Knox powerbombs him down. That doesn’t last long though as Punk is back up with the series of forearms but another backbreaker gives Knox another two. Knox takes him up top but a superplex is broken up, allowing Punk to hit a high crossbody. The Anaconda Vice makes Knox tap.

Rating: C-. This was about all you could have expected, though I can’t imagine this is the end of the feud. Punk is a rising star and Knox could be any muscle headed numskull who is there to stand in his way. The Kelly Kelly factor still needs to be dealt with, but for now this was all it needed to be.

Elijah Burke and Sylvester Terkay are now in ECW. Well they certainly are new.

Here is Paul Heyman, with security and gorilla head, for a chat. He promises announcements tonight but first of all, we take a look at him attacking Rob Van Dam last week. That’s why tonight it’s Van Dam/Hardcore Holly vs. Big Show/Heyman himself. One more thing: we already have four participants in the Extreme Elimination Chamber and a fifth will be named tonight. Therefore, we’ll have the final name announced next week, and it can be anyone from Raw, Smackdown or ECW.

CM Punk will be on Ghost Hunters tonight.

Daivari vs. Little Guido

Great Khali is here with Daivari and Trinity is here with Guido. It’s a brawl to start with Daivari getting the better of things and ripping at Guido’s face on the ropes. A sunset flip doesn’t do much for Guido as Daivari sends him into the buckle for his efforts. Guido gets in a dropkick for two but it’s the hammerlock DDT to give Daivari the fast pin.

Post match Khali lays out Guido again.

Here’s what John Cena has done to promote the Marine.

Extreme Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Test vs. Tommy Dreamer

Test elbows him in the face in the corner to start but Dreamer is right back with the Cactus Clothesline. That earns Dreamer some rams into the post to keep him in trouble and we hit the chinlock with a knee in the back. Make it an armbar, followed by a chinlock as Test can’t make his mind up. Dreamer fights up and hits a neckbreaker but the DDT is blocked. The referee misses a low blow from Test and it’s a big boot into the TKO for the pin.

Rating: D+. Another match where there wasn’t a ton of drama coming in but that’s fine. Sometimes you need to just get the job done and that is what they did here. I know Dreamer is the ECW original but is anyone asking to see him in a big time title match? Test might not be much, but he’s higher on the food chain than Dreamer right now.

Rob Van Dam/Hardcore Holly vs. Big Show/Paul Heyman

Heyman is in a track suit and has the security with him. Van Dam goes for Heyman to start but gets knocked down by Show, who takes him into the corner. Heyman is bouncing up and down on the apron as Show hammers away on Van Dam. It’s too early to dive over for the hot tag as Show takes him down again and chokes away on the mat. The fans are actually chanting for Holly, which is about as bizarre as you can get.

Holly goes outside to scare security away from Van Dam, causing Heyman to panic and shout about keeping Holly back. A running clothesline drops Van Dam again and Show holds his arms back so Heyman can get in a few slaps. Van Dam tries slugging away and gets dropped with another clothesline. Show misses a charge though and gets caught with a spinwheel kick in the corner. Van Dam gets over for the tag….and Holly turns on Van Dam because of course he does. The referee throws it out as Holly chairs Van Dam down.

Rating: C. They weren’t really hiding what they were going for here as Holly didn’t do anything physical until the end of the match. The more I think about it, the more I think this might be a better move, as Punk is starting to move up the ladder and can be the second face on the show. I know Holly was getting cheered, but he is going to have a pretty firm ceiling above him no matter what. It might not be the best move in the short term, but it is in the long term.

The Alabama Slam onto the chair leaves Van Dam laying to end the show as Styles thinks Holly is working with Heyman to get into the Chamber.

Overall Rating: C. The wrestling wasn’t the point here, but rather the fact that they have something to build towards. It gives the show a much needed structure and narrative, which have been lacking for most of its run so far. I’m curious as to who is going to be the final entrant, but they could absolutely use another name from outside to build up the roster. Not a great show, but an encouraging one.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: June 16, 1997
Location: Olympic Center, Lake Placid, New York
Attendance: 2,773
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jim Ross

We’ve got three weeks before the next pay per view and Steve Austin needs four partners to take on the Hart Foundation in Calgary. After last week, it seems that he has his lineup ready with Ken Shamrock, the Legion of Doom and Mankind, but that Stunner to Shamrock to end last week’s show might cause him some problems. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Vince and JR discuss the fight between Bret and Shawn before last week’s show. Shawn has re-injured his knee and hurt his neck, so he’s out 4-6 weeks. Bret has re-injured his knee and will be back soon. Since Shawn is out, the Tag Team Titles are vacant and therefore we’ll be having an eight team tournament with the winners facing Austin and a partner of his choice for the titles.

Here’s Austin to open the show. The lights are really low to hide how empty the arena is. Austin doesn’t care who his partner is or that Shawn is injured because he’ll fight anyone on his own. This brings Mankind to the screen, who says he felt a bond last week when Steve Austin flipped him off and that he knows they would be great partners. Austin: “You ain’t got no ears.” Austin didn’t like Shawn out here dancing and wearing his hair long, but Mankind has both things covered. He’ll let Austin think about it so have a nice day.

Vince shows a clip of the Foundation beating Austin down last week and Mankind coming out as a replacement. Then Shamrock came down to help after the match and got a Stunner. Austin rants about Pillman but here’s Shamrock to interrupt. He came out here last week because he doesn’t like bullies, but he sees Austin as the same as the Hart Foundation. Shamrock promises violence and challenges Austin to a match, which finally knocks the smile off Austin’s face. Shamrock is ready right now but Austin says he’ll fight Pillman then beat up Ken for fun. Ken is still awful on the mic but it’s a hair better than it used to be.

After a break, Pillman is shown a clip of Austin shoving his head in a toilet at King of the Ring. As for the Foundation being handcuffed to the posts during the match with Austin tonight, Shamrock has nothing to worry about because there won’t be anything left of Austin after Pillman gets through with him.

Tag Team Tournament First Round: New Blackjacks vs. Owen Hart/British Bulldog

Both teams promise to win in some pre-recorded interviews. Windham clotheslines Owen down to start and puts on an armbar as JR ruins several children’s lives by admitting that Owen was the Blue Blazer. Bulldog has some more success against Bradshaw with the pure power before handing it off to Owen for a missile dropkick. Bradshaw pops back up and cleans house with clotheslines of his own, followed by a powerslam for two on Bulldog. Bradshaw spends too much time loading up a powerbomb though, allowing Owen to spinwheel kick him down to give Bulldog the rollup pin.

Rating: C-. This could have been far worse and it was nice to see Owen and Bulldog fight a regular team instead of whatever makeshift combination of main eventers they had thrown at them. The division could use a tournament like this to go somewhere, as Owen and Bulldog cleaned the thing out for so long that no one has any real stature.

We recap the Nation crumbling last week. Faarooq has promised a new Nation tonight and will be debuting his newest member in a tag match against Undertaker/Ahmed Johnson.

Undertaker and Paul Bearer (now showing a huge gash on his face with the bandages removed) are in the back and Undertaker is told to be quiet when Vince asks him about teaming with Johnson tonight. Bearer says it’s all about him and what he wants as long as the secret is over his head.

Shamrock says Austin made a huge mistake last week. Tonight, it’s time for Austin to knuckle up. They’re far better off keeping Shamrock’s promos really short like this as it’s more effective to keep it quick and let his fighting do the talking.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Phineas Godwinn

Mankind vs. Helmsley is confirmed for In Your House: Canadian Stampede, meaning Austin might be minus a partner. Well a potential partner at least. They head into the corner to start with Helmsley hammering away, which is exactly what Godwinn wants. A mule kick puts the king down but he’s smart enough to go a bit more technical with his facebuster.

Phineas is sent outside so Chyna can get in a bit shot of her own, much to the delight of the HHH fan club in the first few rows. Back in and Phineas clotheslines him out of the air and loads up the Slop Drop, only to have Chyna offer a distraction. That’s fine with Phineas who kisses Chyna, only to walk into the Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: D+. Nothing match, but Helmsley and Chyna are really starting to work well together. There’s a chemistry there and that’s not something you can fake. You can see the potential in him and it’s a great example of someone growing up in front of our eyes. He couldn’t pull this off a year ago but with the time and experience, this is working for him.

Post match Henry Godwinn, who had a broken neck like four weeks ago but isn’t even in a collar here, comes out to yell at Phineas. For some reason he blames McMahon for the loss. Vince: “Everything is my fault these days.”

Faarooq promises a bigger, badder and better Nation. So it’s the Wrestlemania III version of the Nation? There will be two new members and the Nation will be blacker than ever.

Chris Candido vs. Brian Christopher

Sunny is guest ring announcer and Paul E. Dangerously is on commentary. This is ECW vs. USWA as Christopher (Grand Master Sexay) was a top heel down in Memphis. Thankfully Paul points out that Candido used to wrestle in the WWF. Candido jumps him to start but Brian counters with an atomic drop and an enziguri.

A quick neckbreaker from Candido sets up a middle rope legdrop (bad one too) as Dangerously tries as hard as he can to make this serious. Vince gets on him for it so Paul goes into a rant about Christopher being Lawler’s son (“his mother is probably 37 years old.” Christopher would be 25 here), drawing out Jerry himself to slap Paul and throw Candido off the top for a DQ.

Tommy Dreamer runs in for the save with a chair. This feud is interesting when you look back at it, but most wrestling fans probably had no idea who these people were or why they were on Raw.

Ahmed Johnson is willing to be Undertaker’s partner.

We get some house show ads, followed by clips from a Toronto house show where the Harts were just crazy over.

The Hart Foundation doesn’t like the idea of being handcuffed to the posts tonight but they’ll show that crime pays. Neidhart did the talking here, which is one of the best things he can do for the team.

Goldust vs. Jim Neidhart

Neidhart starts with the power shots to the back as you might have expected. Goldust comes back with his punches and chest rub in the corner but grabs Neidhart’s beard instead of kissing him. The announcers talk about Dusty even more, which is odd as he wouldn’t be on Raw again for years. Goldust gets in some stomps but here’s British Bulldog to follow up on what happened last week. Marlena goes to slap him but Bulldog grabs her arm, earning him a right hand from Goldust. Neidhart gets in some cheap shots but ducks his head back inside, allowing Goldust to uppercut him for the pin, deemed an upset by Vince.

Rating: D. Seriously? An uppercut? And Goldust beating Neidhart is an upset? This match raised a lot of questions but that’s about all it raised. There wasn’t much to see here, but you can pretty much pencil Goldust in for a spot on Austin’s team at the pay per view. That’s fine enough, as the interviews have given his character a new direction.

Austin says he has Pillman where he wants him. After that, Ken Shamrock wants him to enter his world? How about Austin rocks it instead?

First hour recap and hour number two opening sequence.

Steve Austin vs. Brian Pillman

Owen, Bulldog and Neidhart are handcuffed to a post. JR actually talks about the Hollywood Blonds to give us some background here. Austin is billed as a Tag Team Champion so I guess the belts aren’t vacated until the tournament is over. Steve starts fast but makes the mistake of going after Bulldog, allowing Pillman to get in a cheap shot to take over. Some more right hands put Brian down so Owen starts pulling at his handcuff to no avail.

Brian offers a handshake from his knees but of course Austin is smart enough to kick him in the ribs and clothesline Pillman down. It’s so nice to see a face who is smart for a change. Pillman tries to go up top but gets crotched onto the ropes. The referee checks on him so Austin goes to the floor to beat up Bulldog for fun. Brian’s attempt at using a chair is easily broken up and Austin beats up the other handcuffed guys. Some choking with a cable finally puts Austin down and we take a break.

Back with Pillman (sporting a bloody nose) hammering on Austin but he comes back with a low blow. For some reason it doesn’t have much effect though as Pillman grabs a sleeper, only to be taken down by a jawbreaker. Austin is tired of this wrestling stuff and sweeps the legs so he can hammer on Pillman’s bloody nose. The referee doesn’t like that so he gets a Stunner. With no referee, Pillman hits Austin low and knocks Austin cold with a foreign object (Canadian perhaps?) for two from a new referee. Pillman gets the key to the cuffs from the first referee though and Neidhart is quickly in for the DQ.

Rating: C+. This was good stuff when you consider the horrible condition Pillman was in at this point. He could barely move but was still able to have a totally watchable brawl before the DQ. Austin had to actually fight these guys at some point so having a match against Pillman was as fine a place as any to start.

Mankind, Goldust and Shamrock run in for the save. With Mankind and Goldust gone, Austin tries to Stun Shamrock again but gets suplexed instead. It’s rare to see someone get one over on Austin like that. Ever the fighter, Austin goes right after him but here’s the Legion of Doom to break it up. Goldust comes out and grabs a mic to say that these are the best five in the WWF, so they’ll go to Calgary to fight the Hart Foundation. Austin says he wants to fight alone but Monsoon won’t let him, so it’s going to be the five of them for one night only.

The Hart Foundation are ready to treat those five like the scum they are. Owen still can’t get the name of the show right, calling it Calgary Stampede.

Bobby Fulton vs. Tommy Rogers

Well ok then. These two used to be known as the Fantastics and this is billed as a light heavyweight match. Sable is guest ring announcer and in some shorts, meaning we’ll likely be seeing Marc Mero again. We hear a quick history of the Fantastics, despite the fact that almost no one is going to know them here as they were mostly a southern team. Fulton has one leg in trunks and the other in tights.

Tommy scores with a nice dropkick (he always had a good one) so Fulton runs to the corner. Bobby grabs a headlock as he’s the heel here. A spinwheel kick drops Rogers as the fans are eerily silent here. Rogers gets sent to the apron for an elbow drop, followed by a baseball slide to knock him into the barricade. JR talks about a light heavyweight tournament coming soon. Fulton’s rollup with his feet gets caught so Tommy hits a quick Tomikaze (Killswitch) for the pin. The crowd just did not care here but the match was fine.

Mero comes out to drag Sable to the back.

Tag Team Tournament First Round: Headbangers vs. Jerry Lawler/Rob Van Dam

This could be interesting. The Headbangers want the belts so they can hold up their skirts. Dangerously and Dreamer are in the crowd as Mosh starts with Van Dam. Mosh takes over to start and dives at Van Dam in the corner before a double flapjack puts Rob down again. Thrasher gets two off a gutwrench powerbomb but gets monkey flipped over, setting up Van Dam’s jumping kick to the face.

Lawler comes in and slowly punches Mosh to set up the Five Star for no cover. Jerry’s middle rope punch misses though and Thrasher comes in to clean house. A quick piledriver plants Thrasher though but Lawler yells at Dangerously, allowing Sandman (an ECW mainstay) comes in to cane Jerry, allowing Thrasher to suplex Mosh onto Lawler for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was more storyline than anything else and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s a nice idea to have the ECW guys come in and more fans would know them in New York, but I don’t see how this story is going to take anyone anywhere. Still though, good enough match here and the right team won.

Ahmed says he and Undertaker are ready but Bearer says he’s the leader around here. Johnson says Undertaker will have problems if Paul is the one calling the shots out there.

Undertaker/Ahmed Johnson vs. Faarooq/???

Faarooq has promised two new members of the Nation but only comes out with D’Lo Brown, who was already a member. Kama Mustafa, a former bodyguard of Ted DiBiase and better known as Papa Shango, is introduced as a new member though and takes the fight to Undertaker. Mustafa had been rumored to come back as Shango here but this might have been the better move.

A double clothesline drops Undertaker and Ahmed holds his arm out despite Undertaker being about ten feet from him. Undertaker busts out a Fameasser of all things to put Faarooq down but Kama prevents the tag. Brown gets in some shots on the floor and we take a break. Back with Undertaker scoring with a chokeslam on Faarooq but Kama is there for the save.

Vince and JR think the new member might be Mr. Hughes, Butch Reed (JR: “He has a link to Simmons.”) or Abdullah the Butcher. Undertaker goes for a tag but Ahmed is on the floor going after Bearer, allowing Kama to hit a Rock Bottom….for the PIN??? Yes the newcomer just pinned the WWF World Champion clean in the middle of the ring. For some reason Vince and JR don’t seem to care.

Rating: D. Storyline advancement again here but there’s no excuse for not getting excited over the Undertaker getting pinned here. Yeah he was basically in a handicap match but he got pinned in less than four minutes and it’s treated with the same reaction as when Rogers pinned Fulton earlier tonight. Still thought, that’s quite the debut for Mustafa.

Johnson chases the Nation off but never touches them. In case you’re new at this wrestling thing, that’s because Ahmed gives Undertaker the Pearl River Plunge and reveals himself as the newest member of the Nation. Above all else, this FINALLY ends the feud so there’s a positive to be found. Also this Nation lineup should be a lot stronger as Savio and Crush always seemed like prototypes than the final group.

Overall Rating: C-. The lack of Bret and Shawn is still hurting this show but they’ve got a place to go in the main event scene now and Undertaker has a fresh challenger in Johnson. This was much more of a moving day episode than anything else as they’re getting ready for the next pay per view, which is sneaking up on them rather quickly. This wasn’t a great or even very good show, but it accomplished a lot in just two hours.

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