Impact Wrestling – November 23, 2023: Goofy Laziness

Impact Wrestling
Date: November 23, 2023
Hosts: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

This is another special show, in this case because of Thanksgiving. Impact has a history of looking back at some, ahem, classic Thanksgiving moments of the years and that is likely going to involve a bunch of Turkey Suit matches. There are worse traditions out there and it’s just goofy fun. Let’s get to it.

The hosts welcome us to the show and we are indeed looking at great Thanksgiving moments over the years.

From 2008.

Sheik Abdul Bashir vs. Rhino vs. Alex Shelley

Bashir is X-Division Champion and helps Shelley for a double team on Rhino. That goes nowhere as Rhyno easily slugs both of them away and scores with a belly to belly for two on Bashir. Clipped to Rhino getting double teamed again but the others keep getting in an argument over scoring the pin (and a $25,000 prize). Bashir rolls Shelley up for two but gets caught in a super atomic drop. Rhino uses the distraction to Gore Shelley for the pin at 2:48 shown.

Post match, Mick Foley tells Shelley he has to put the suit on but Shelley doesn’t want to. See, the women won’t be happy and that would hurt the ratings. That’s cool with Foley, but Shelley is fired if he doesn’t do it. Shelley finally puts it on and Foley makes gibblet jokes. Foley: “Is that a gizzard in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?” The suit goes on and more jokes are made. If this is the case, I can go with it more than holding a regular show on Thanksgiving.

We do have some 2023 material as well.

Good Hands/Champagne Singh/Jai Vidal vs. PCO/Johnny Swinger/Jake Something/Mike Bailey

Gravy Train Turkey Trot, meaning whomever loses the fall has to wear the turkey suit. Skyler shoulders Bailey down to start before handing it off to Hotch, who gets kicked in the head over and over. Swinger comes in but gets cheap shotted by Skyler, who gets rolled up for a fast two. It’s off to Singh to beat on Swinger as the villains keep tagging out to avoid the threat of the turkey suit.

Something comes in so Vidal….maybe flirts with him, earning a right hand to the face. Something cleans house and powerbombs Vidal over the top onto a pile on the floor. The big Something dive drops them again but the Good Hands and Singh manage to knock PCO down. That lasts all of two seconds as it’s a chokeslam into the PCOsault to finish Vidal at 5:14.

Rating: C. The match was nothing of note of course but this is one of the few traditions that Impact has which does feel like a fun idea. It’s completely goofy fun and they don’t present it as anything else. Vidal can play a fine enough post match goof and he got pinned by a monster like PCO. Nothing wrong with this and it’s once a year.

Post match Vidal won’t do it so Gisele Shaw and Savannah Evans force him to wear the suit for the sake of keeping the team together.

From 2016.

Grado vs. Robbie E.

They slug it out to start with Grado getting the better of it off the snap jabs. A double clothesline puts both guys down as this is a little less funny than I was expecting. Robbie grabs a rollup for the pin at 2:39.

Aiden O’Shea comes out to make Grado put on the suit and dancing ensues.

From 2013.

Here are all of the winners of the matches tonight plus Velvet who is with Sabin. Roode points this out and Sabin throws Velvet out. Bobby asks everyone what they’re thankful for. Bad Influence is thankful for their intelligence and large endowment. Kaz is thankful that Park isn’t here to drink the gravy or fornicate with the pumpkin pie. Gail is thankful for being the prettiest and most dominant Knockout in the history of the company. Oh and her family too.

Sabin is thankful for his hair, being the best X-Division Champion ever and Velvet Sky. The Bro Mans are thankful for Mr. O Phil Heath, Zema Ion (officially part of the team) and for being the best team ever. Bad Influence: “I’m not sure about that.” Roode says the real Thanksgiving was last month in Canada and the fans will be thankful when he becomes the next champion.

It’s time to eat but here’s Angle to interrupt. He sees a ring full of turkeys, which are fighting words for the people in there. Roode challenges him to a fight which Angle accepts, and here’s his backup. Fernum and Barnes are still in the turkey suits. You can fill in the blanks yourself here: bad guys are destroyed, food is everywhere, Spud panics, turkeys fly. The good guys, Velvet and ODB celebrate to end the show.

From 2017.

Team Edwards vs. Team Adonis

Eddie Edwards, Garza Jr., Allie, Fallah Bahh, Richard Justice
Chris Adonis, Caleb Konley, Laurel Van Ness, KM, El Hijo Del Fantasma

The loser of the fall wears a turkey suit and there’s food at ringside, along with Eli Drake. We’re not ready yet though as the teams sit down at the food tables as Drake insists that everyone has to put on the suit if they lose. He has a statement for JB to read, which pretty much just says everyone play nice.

Justice sticks his finger in Konley’s mouth to start and gets two off a rollup. Laurel comes in and jumps on Justice’s back so it’s off to the women for a change. KM and Bahh are up next with some shots to Bahh’s head taking us to a break. Back with Bahh crossbodying KM and bringing in Garza….WHO TAKES OFF HIS PANTS! I’m rather thankful.

Garza gets punched down though and it’s time for the heel beatdown. Adonis comes in for two off a legdrop and it’s time for a bearhug (on a guy with a bad shoulder). That goes nowhere and the hot tag brings in Eddie to clean house. Everything breaks down in a hurry and KM gets crushed between Justice and Bahh.

We get the big crash to the floor and Justice falls off the apron, only to be caught without much effort. Allie dives onto everyone to break up the pile and everyone is down. Back in and Adonis can’t grab the Adonis Lock, allowing Eddie to roll him up for the pin at 16:04, meaning Adonis gets to wear the suit.

Rating: C-. Oh what were you expecting here? This was all in good fun and nothing more than a comedy match. The match was just there for the sake of having a one off match for a holiday special and as a result, it’s really hard to be harsh on it. Adonis having to wear the suit is fine and it continues a (rather goofy) tradition. It wasn’t anything good, but it’s perfectly harmless.

Post break, Adonis refuses to wear the suit. Security actually stops him as the referee holds up the suit like an executioner’s ax. After a lot of persuading and a GOBBLE GOBBLE (One of us?) chant, Adonis finally puts it on and walks around a bit. Adonis isn’t cool with the chants though and the required food fight, with Adonis hitting Drake in the face with a pie, ends the show. This was actually entertaining as they just went with the simple comedy and it worked perfectly well.

From 2007.

Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles vs. Chris Sabin

This is the finals of the Turkey Bowl, with the winner getting $25,000 and the loser wearing the turkey suit. Joe and Sabin double team Styles to start and knock him to the floor. That leaves Sabin to take Joe down but a kick misses, giving us a staredown. Styles gets knocked to the floor again and we take a break.

Back with Sabin charging into a hot shot but Joe comes back in to punch Styles in the face. Styles breaks up the suicide elbow to Sabin though, meaning Joe punches him in the face some more. The drop down into a dropkick hits Joe and we take a break. Back again with Joe countering the springboard moonsault into an Air Raid Crash with Sabin having to make a save.

We take another break and come back again with Sabin hitting a springboard DDT to drop Joe. That earns Sabin a trip to the floor but Styles Peles Joe. The charge into the corner only hits kick to the face though, allowing Joe to hit the Muscle Buster for the pin at 9:33 shown (of the nearly thirty minute match).

Rating: B-. Well it seemed to be a good match, at least from what we saw of the thing. Joe was on another planet at this point and Styles was in his weird phase as Angle’s wacky goon, but it isn’t like he was going to be awful in the ring. Throw in a very talented Sabin and of course this was going to work, even if we missed almost twenty minutes.

Post match we cut to a livid Kurt Angle (AJ’s boss), storming out of his own Thanksgiving dinner. Back in the arena, AJ won’t put the suit on so here is Jim Cornette to order him to do it. After some coaxing, Styles (very slowly) puts the suit on so Tomko and Kurt come out to yell. Samoa Joe and the Outsiders come out to laugh at Angle and pals, meaning the brawl is on. The bad guys are cleared out, with Eric Young coming in to add a turkey leg to Angle to wrap things up. Then Hall got fired and Joe was given a live mic at the pay per view where he went on an all time rant against a lot of people.

Overall Rating: D+. Normally I have a good time with this show, as it’s the definition of goofy harmless fun. Then I went to pull some of the matches from previous reviews and realized that three out of the five matches on this show were on last year’s show, including the exact same main event and post match segment to end the show. They’ve been doing this for over fifteen years and they had to recycle that much in a year? Come on already and put in some more effort than that.

Results
PCO/Johnny Swinger/Jake Something/Mike Bailey b. Good Hands/Jai Vidal/Champagne Singh – PCOsault to Vidal

 

 

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Northeast Wrestling Brass City Brawl: They Put On Good Shows

Brass City Brawl
Date: October 1, 2010
Location: Crosby High School, Waterbury, Connecticut
Attendance: 850
Commentator: Jerry Strauss

This is from Northeast Wrestling and I think that’s the name of the show, though I’ve also seen this called the 15th Anniversary Tour. Northeast Wrestling has been around for a good while and I haven’t seen them do anything terrible yet. It would be nice to see them keep that streak up, but you never can tell with promotions like this. Let’s get to it.

The unnamed host runs down the card and we might be in for a good one here.

Jake Manning vs. Cedric Alexander

Manning is the Manscout (as in an adult Boy Scout), down to the uniform and reading from his manual. Commentary calls him creepy and…yeah I can go with that. The bell rings but hang on as Manning needs another look at his book. Manning shoulders him down to start and throws in a monkey flip for a bonus. Alexander reverses into an armdrag and it’s a standoff with a handshake.

Believe it or not, Manning suckers him in before avoiding a dropkick. With Alexander outside, Manning follows him to the floor, only to have Alexander run back inside for a flip dive. Commentary: “No hands for the rookie!” That’s one of the things I love about watching shows like this: seeing future names getting their start. Back in and Manning snaps off a neckbreaker, followed by a Big Boss Man slide under the ropes right hand.

Alexander can’t quite fight out of a chinlock so it’s a rather delayed vertical suplex for two. The basic offense continues with a second chinlock until Alexander fights up with a gordbuster of all things. A backsplash gives Alexander two but Manning’s backbreaker/Downward Spiral combination gets the same. Alexander kicks him in the head though and a split legged moonsault finishes Manning at 9:58.

Rating: C. Perfectly acceptable match to start things off here as you have the plucky rookie Alexander beating someone who seems more than a bit despicable. That’s a good way to open the show, as the fans get something to cheer about while seemingly not beating a huge star. You could see the potential in Alexander and it is no shock that he made it to WWE.

Here are Brian Anthony and Bull Dread for a chat before their tag match. Anthony isn’t happy with local police officer Mike Tripp arresting him last year so tonight it’s time for a beating. Sure Tripp has found a friend in Northeast Wrestling Heavyweight Champion Matt Taven, but the title is coming where it belongs. Cue the rather smiling/dancing Kurt Adonis, who has a bad history with Anthony. The villains don’t know why Adonis is here but they insist that it is NOT about him. We pause for a ONE MORE MATCH chant before Adonis teases a right hand to Anthony.

Instead they hug, with the fans not being pleased about the development. Adonis says the fans don’t deserve one more match and talks about how badly he has been treated for the last ten years. He doesn’t want Anthony to suffer the same fate so now they’re on the same side. The fans are all over Adonis as he promises to help make Anthony Northeast Champion. Nice heel turn here and the fans were livid.

Joey Bricco vs. Eddy Latham

Bricco seems to be the local favorite. Latham poses to start before getting dropkicked out to the floor. An attempted dive is cut off by a forearm to the face to give Latham two, earning some jeering from the fans. Some clotheslines give Latham two and a monkey flip sends Bricco flying. The charge in the corner misses though and Bricco scores with a slingshot DDT. Cue a big guy named Ron Zombie to jump Bricco for the DQ at 2:40.

Zombie beats up Latham as well and Bricco gets chokeslammed onto the chair. After the destruction, Zombie apologizes to everyone for not being around as much lately. Tonight, it is time to reintroduce himself against Tommy Dreamer. To prove how extreme he can be, he needs to take Dreamer out.

Vin The Chin/Ryan McBride vs. Caleb Konley/Chris Battle

Konley has bounced around the wrestling world for years. Vin and Battle start things off with Battle hitting some hard forearms. Vin is right back with a pair of atomic drops before handing it off to the rather slim McBride. Konley comes in and gets armdragged into a dropkick as the villains (I believe) are in trouble early. They prove their villainy with a cheap shot from Battle and Konley gets two off a neckbreaker. A butterfly suplex gives Battle two but Vin gets back over to McBride. House is quickly cleaned and a 450 finishes Konley at 4:47.

Rating: C. Well that was abrupt. It was an energetic match between four young guys but there isn’t much you can do in less than five minutes. McBride felt like someone the fans were into and….well there’s only so much you can do when your name is Vin The Chin. Not enough time to do much, but they didn’t do anything bad and got a bit of ring time, which is the point of a show like this.

Carlito vs. Robbie E.

Robbie E. is also know as Mr./Robert Stone from NXT and has Cookie with him. This is Carlito’s Northeast debut so he is treated as quite the big deal. Commentary: “He’s the coolest man in entertainment since the Fonz.” No, no he isn’t. Stop lying. Hold on though as Carlito has something to say. He thinks the fans appreciating him is cool and we’re ready to go.

Robbie takes him into the corner to start and pumps his fist, earning a shot to the floor. After yelling at some fans, Robbie gets back inside so Carlito can shoulder him right back to the floor. Back in again and we get the required hair messing, with Robbie bailing to the floor for a third time. Hold on though as Carlito needs to wash his hands after putting them in….whatever is in Robbie’s hair. Carlito throws him back inside for some rams into the buckles before grabbing the apple.

Cookie gets on the apron to protest and yeah the apple hits her in the face, as expected. That’s FINALLY enough for Robbie to get in a few shots and take over for the first time. A comeback attempt is cut off with Carlito’s head being slammed into the mat, followed by the chinlock (as the crowd noise goes way down all of a sudden. Carlito is back up with a springboard elbow to the face but Robbie neckbreakers him. That’s fine with Carlito, who is back with the backstabber for the pin at 8:28.

Rating: C+. This is the kind of a big name vs. local star match you would want, though Robbie was becoming a bigger deal in TNA at the time. That being said, they understood what they had here with Carlito and it makes sense to present him as a big deal. Nice match here and it felt like something that would have been a lot of fun for the live fans getting to see a former WWE star.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Ron Zombie

Hardcore match but they respect each other. Hold on though as, believe it or not, Dreamer has something to say before we can get going. Dreamer talks about wrestling in this town at a Toyota dealership once a month when he was young. There was one fan who kept telling Dreamer he hated him and yes, it was Zombie. Then ECW came along and Zombie was a fan there too.

Dreamer finally convinced him to follow his dream and become a wrestler and he couldn’t be happier. We get going with Dreamer shouldering him down before Zombie does the same. After Dreamer seems to approve, they both miss punches and that’s a standoff. The fans want tables and since these two have no control over themselves, it’s time to throw in…well pretty much everything but tables. What a bunch of heels.

Zombie grabs a kendo stick but Dreamer chairs him down to take it outside. Dreamer grabs a drink from a fan and spits it into Zombie’s face before grabbing a bunch of cans of Pepsi. One spit goes into Zombie’s face and Dreamer gives the rest of the cans to some kids (fair enough). Dreamer puts the ring bell between Zombie’s legs and hits it with the timekeeper’s hammer before firing off some right hands in the corner.

Dreamer’s charge hits the post and Zombie uses the chair to take over on the arm. A fan’s title belt to the face drops Dreamer again and Zombie goes Raven with the drop toehold into the open chair. Back up and Dreamer catches him on top with a kendo stick, meaning it’s off to the Tree of Woe.

Dreamer’s running dropkick sends the chair into Zombie’s face and NOW it’s table time. Zombie kicks said table into Dreamer’s face and puts it up in the corner. That takes too long too though and it’s a Death Valley Driver to send Zombie through the table. The DDT onto a chair is loaded up but Zombie reverses into an STO (judo leg trip according to commentary) onto the chair finishes Dreamer at 11:13.

Rating: C. I’m not a big hardcore guy, but after having to sit through various death match nonsense, it’s nice to see this much more, for lack of a better term, family friendly style of hardcore. Hitting each other in the back with chairs, a table spot and spitting drinks isn’t some cringe inducing garbage and the fans liked it, so this could have been much worse. Dreamer not going over is even a bit more shocking, as he was nine days away from pinning AJ Styles at Bound For Glory, because that’s a thing that happened.

Post match Dreamer grabs the mic and talks about Zombie living around here for over thirty years. Dreamer says Zombie earned his respect and he leaves Zombie in the ring to pose.

Matt Taven/Mike Tripp vs. Brian Anthony/Bull Dread

Anthony and Dread have Kurt Adonis in their corner. Tripp is in his regular police uniform and comes out to the Cops theme because…well what else was it going to be? Hold on though as Taven has someone to even things out a bit: George The Animal Steele! Apparently Steele was at the meet and greet before the show, which does cover the question of why Steele would happen to be available to counter a heel turn from an hour ago.

After we pause for Taven to throw his shirt to the crowd, Taven and Dread start things off. A leg lariat staggers the large Dread and some dropkicks put him on the apron. Anthony comes in and says he wants the cop. Tripp comes in and grabs a headlock, which sends Anthony bailing into the corner. A shoulder drops Anthony and some hiptosses make it worse. Dread tries to come in and gets leg lariated by Taven as the good guys clear the ring.

Steele even gets in a chair shot to Dread, setting up Taven’s Flight of the Conqueror for the big knockdown. Back in and Adonis trips Taven, allowing Dread to run him over. Anthony comes in and pounds Taven to the floor before hammering away back inside. Taven tries to dive over to Tripp but it’s far too early for something like that.

A missed clothesline lets Taven grab a small package for two but Anthony busts up his spine. Anthony drops a top rope elbow for two but Taven wins a slugout and kicks him down. The hot tag brings in Tripp for the clothesline comeback as everything breaks down. Taven moonsaults onto Dread but takes out Steele as well, which can’t be good. Steele is fine enough to chair Adonis, leaving Tripp to spear Anthony for the pin at 14:22.

Rating: B-. The thing to keep in mind is that this was a glorified handicap match with Tripp’s best offense involving sticking his arm out so the other two could bounce off of him. That isn’t a bad thing as it was built around a local interest story, with Tripp getting the pin to wrap it up. Completely decent match here as they protected Tripp well, allowing Taven to do the majority of the work.

Mickie James vs. Mia Yim

Yim is still new around here but it is James’ debut for the promotion. A fan high fives Mickie on her way to the ring and seems to hold onto her for a good while, leaving Mickie looking a bit annoyed. They fight over a lockup to start with Yim cranking on a wristlock. A headlock takeover keeps Yim in rather early control but Mickie flips over into a Last Chancery.

Back up and Mickie works on a wristlock of her own before kicking Yim in the face. Yim sends her into the corner though and chokes away while looking rather cocky. Mickie doesn’t approve and hits a basement dropkick to send Yim outside. Back in and Mickie goes up but gets kicked in the head to put her right back down.

Yim chokes a bit and stops for a jumping jack celebration (as you do) before grabbing a dragon sleeper. That’s broken up as well and they slug it out from their knees, with Mickie getting the better of things. A hurricanrana out of the corner drops Yim and the top rope Thesz press gets two. Yim is fine enough to snap off a spinning kick to the head for two but Mickie has had it with her. The MickieDT finishes Yim off at 12:04.

Rating: C+. Yim wasn’t a star yet but you could absolutely see the ability waiting to break out. She had that certain it factor to her and the talent was there to back it up. Then you have James, who was already established as one of the best of all time. This was a good part of the show and James being around felt like a special bonus for the fans.

As Mickie leaves, she seems to sidestep the weird fan from her entrance. It’s a shame that something like that had to happen.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan’s WWE US Title isn’t on the line. Bryan had already returned to WWE but was fulfilling his independent commitments. Feeling out process to start with Benjamin working on a headlock and then running Bryan over. A running dropkick sends Benjamin into the corner and the fans are right there with a BEST IN THE WORLD chant. Benjamin is back with a headlock on the mat until Bryan slips out for an armbar.

The threat of some kicks send Benjamin bailing to the floor as a fan has some advice for how Bryan should deal with Benjamin: “PRETEND HE’S MICHAEL COLE”. Ok that was clever. Back in and Benjamin takes him down with a test of strength but can’t break Bryan’s bridge. Benjamin is right back up as well and Bryan applauds him during the standoff. What might have been a cheap shot staggers Bryan and Benjamin whips him hard into the corner to take over. We hit the chinlock but Bryan fights up and heads to the top.

That takes too long though, allowing Benjamin to run the corner and kick him in the face for a great visual. Back in and Benjamin grabs a suplex, only to get kicked down hard to get us back to even. Bryan is back with the kicks in the corner before a crucifix gets two. Benjamin isn’t having that and BLASTS him with the Dragon Whip (an always cool move) for two of his own. Some more kicks stagger Benjamin though and Bryan’s missile dropkick gets another near fall. The LeBell Lock is blocked so Benjamin rolls some German suplexes, only to get rolled up to give Bryan the pin at 15:13.

Rating: B. This is a situation where you can look at the card, see “Daniel Bryan vs. Shelton Benjamin for fifteen minutes” and know that things are going to go well. That was exactly what happened here, as you had two very skilled professionals getting to have a main event style match. Bryan was already a made man in this kind of promotion and Benjamin had more than enough of a reputation. Very solid main event here in a match you don’t see very often.

Respect is shown post match and Bryan high fives some fans to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This is the third Northeast Wrestling event that I’ve seen and all of them have been good so far. They had a nice balance of up and comers, regular stars and legends/big names to offer a mixture. Having names like Carlito, James, Bryan and Benjamin made the show feel pretty big, while it was cool to see newcomers like Alexander and Yim. Nothing on here was bad, as it felt like a show where they put in the effort to make it work. Check out some stuff from this promotion, as they put on a good one most of the time.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Impact Wrestling – November 24, 2022: Turkeys Trotting (Thanksgiving Special)

Impact Wrestling
Date: November 24, 2022
Hosts: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

It’s Thanksgiving and that means we are in for a special Best Of show around here. That’s about as logical as you’re going to get for this time of year as there is no reason to believe that anyone is going to pay attention to a show on such a big holiday. You never know what you’ll see on something like this but let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

The hosts welcome us to the show and promise us some great Thanksgiving moments, plus a look at Overdrive.

We’ll start with Thanksgiving 2008, with Rhino pinning Alex Shelley in a triple threat match also involving Sheik Abdul Bashir. As a result, Rhino gets $25,000 and Shelley has to wear a turkey suit, as enforced by Mick Foley with threats of firings/bad history lessons.

Wrestlers say what they are thankful for (Joe Hendry is thankful for mirrors because he gets to see who he really is).

Deaner asks Eric Young if this is the end of Violent By Design but doesn’t get an answer. It’s time for an answer to the unanswered questions so they have to go back to where it all began. How about before that when the team doesn’t exist?

We go back to Thanksgiving 2007, at the Angle household, featuring Kurt and Karen as pilgrims and Jeremy Borash, Tomko and AJ Styles as guests (it was a weird time). They pray (with gold medals on the plates) and Styles eats during the prayer. People keep opening their eyes during the prayer, with Karen and JB making faces at each other. Robert Roode and Traci Brooks come in, as do James Storm and Jackie Moore (with beer). Chris Harris arrives and complains about the directions.

Eric Young shows up, a bit under dressed, and breaks a bunch of stuff. Kurt stands up to yell, revealing that he’s wearing the World Title, and sends Eric to the kid’s table (Eric gets lost on the way). Then the X-Division arrives, with Sonjay Dutt trying to get donations for starving children. Storm and Young get in a drinking contest and Styles leaves as Black Reign (Dustin Rhodes) and Rellik (that’s overused joke spelled forwards) arrive. Reign lets his rat Misty into the food and we take a break.

Back with Young and Storm rather drunk (Young has found a wig and they have both lost their shirts). Jay Lethal (as Black Machismo) arrives as Kurt looks like he wants some cyanide. Then So Cal Val arrives, so Lethal gives her his jacket to walk on. Kurt tries to restore order as Awesome Kong shows up and sits at the other end of the (really long) table. She eats food that may or may not be wax and, since there are a bunch of tables, Team 3D arrives, with food being thrown at them.

A bunch of people leave to get away from Team 3D, who were invited by someone other than Kurt. They sit at the kid’s table and take food from Kurt’s daughter, who says they suck (I would have paid to see her put through a table). Then Kevin Nash and Scott Hall arrive and Karen takes pies to the face. Everyone else shows up and the food fight is on. This was HILARIOUS in a wrestling way.

We look at Mickie James beating Taylor Wilde at Overdrive. Then Deonna Purrazzo comes out to yell at her and sets up the next match in James’ Last Rodeo.

From Thanksgiving 2016, loser wears a turkey suit.

Grado vs. Robbie E.

They slug it out to start with Grado getting the better of it off the snap jabs. A double clothesline puts both guys down as this is a little less funny than I was expecting. Robbie grabs a rollup for the pin at 2:39.

Grado is turkey suited.

We look at the end of Josh Alexander beating Kazarian with the C4 Spike to retain the World Title at Overdrive. Then Bully Ray came out, announced he was officially challenging at Hard To Kill in January, and beat up Alexander in front of his family. Then, with Alexander zip tied to the rope, Ray pulled Alexander’s wife over the barricade….and just threatened her because Alexander was loose. After the show, Ray grabbed the title but Rich Swann came out for the save. Scott D’Amore came out and threw stuff at Ray while asking what was wrong with him. Great segment. Why does it need to be Bully Ray and not someone new?

From Thanksgiving 2013.

Here are all of the winners of the matches tonight plus Velvet who is with Sabin. Roode points this out and Sabin throws Velvet out. Bobby asks everyone what they’re thankful for. Bad Influence is thankful for their intelligence and large endowment. Kaz is thankful that Park isn’t here to drink the gravy or fornicate with the pumpkin pie. Gail is thankful for being the prettiest and most dominant Knockout in the history of the company. Oh and her family too.

Sabin is thankful for his hair, being the best X-Division Champion ever and Velvet Sky. The Bro Mans are thankful for Mr. O Phil Heath, Zema Ion (officially part of the team) and for being the best team ever. Bad Influence: “I’m not sure about that.” Roode says the real Thanksgiving was last month in Canada and the fans will be thankful when he becomes the next champion.

It’s time to eat but here’s Angle to interrupt. He sees a ring full of turkeys, which are fighting words for the people in there. Roode challenges him to a fight which Angle accepts, and here’s his backup. Fernum and Barnes (a couple of losers who lost the Turkey Bowl) are still in the turkey suits. You can fill in the blanks yourself here: bad guys are destroyed, food is everywhere, Spud panics, turkeys fly. The good guys, Velvet and ODB celebrate to end the show.

More wrestlers are thankful for various things.

We look at Kenny King going after Mike Bailey at the overdrive pre-show and losing a six way match as a result.

King is going to take out Bailey before going after the X-Division Title.

From Thanksgiving 2017.

Team Edwards vs. Team Adonis

Eddie Edwards, Garza Jr., Allie, Fallah Bahh, Richard Justice
Chris Adonis, Caleb Konley, Laurel Van Ness, KM, El Hijo Del Fantasma

The loser of the fall wears a turkey suit and there’s food at ringside, along with Eli Drake. We’re not ready yet though as the teams sit down at the food tables as Drake insists that everyone has to put on the suit if they lose. He has a statement for JB to read, which pretty much just says everyone play nice.

Justice sticks his finger in Konley’s mouth to start and gets two off a rollup. Laurel comes in and jumps on Justice’s back so it’s off to the women for a change. KM and Bahh are up next with some shots to Bahh’s head taking us to a break. Back with Bahh crossbodying KM and bringing in Garza….WHO TAKES OFF HIS PANTS! I’m rather thankful.

Garza gets punched down though and it’s time for the heel beatdown. Adonis comes in for two off a legdrop and it’s time for a bearhug (on a guy with a bad shoulder). That goes nowhere and the hot tag brings in Eddie to clean house. Everything breaks down in a hurry and KM gets crushed between Justice and Bahh.

We get the big crash to the floor and Justice falls off the apron, only to be caught without much effort. Allie dives onto everyone to break up the pile and everyone is down. Back in and Adonis can’t grab the Adonis Lock, allowing Eddie to roll him up for the pin at 16:04, meaning Adonis gets to wear the suit.

Rating: C-. Oh what were you expecting here? This was all in good fun and nothing more than a comedy match. The match was just there for the sake of having a one off match for a holiday special and as a result, it’s really hard to be harsh on it. Adonis having to wear the suit is fine and it continues a (rather goofy) tradition. It wasn’t anything good, but it’s perfectly harmless.

Post break, Adonis refuses to wear the suit. Security actually stops him as the referee holds up the suit like an executioner’s ax. After a lot of persuading and a GOBBLE GOBBLE (One of us?) chant, Adonis finally puts it on and walks around a bit. Adonis isn’t cool with the chants though and the required food fight, with Adonis hitting Drake in the face with a pie, ends the show. This was actually entertaining as they just went with the simple comedy and it worked perfectly well.

Delirious and Yuyu Uemura yell at each other in….something and Japanese.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Steve Maclin wants the World Title but he is being held captive by his own company. From now on, it’s mayhem for all.

From Thanksgiving 2007.

Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles vs. Chris Sabin

This is the finals of the Turkey Bowl, with the winner getting $25,000 and the loser wearing the turkey suit. Joe and Sabin double team Styles to start and knock him to the floor. That leaves Sabin to take Joe down but a kick misses, giving us a staredown. Styles gets knocked to the floor again and we take a break.

Back with Sabin charging into a hot shot but Joe comes back in to punch Styles in the face. Styles breaks up the suicide elbow to Sabin though, meaning Joe punches him in the face some more. The drop down into a dropkick hits Joe and we take a break. Back again with Joe countering the springboard moonsault into an Air Raid Crash with Sabin having to make a save.

We take another break and come back again with Sabin hitting a springboard DDT to drop Joe. That earns Sabin a trip to the floor but Styles Peles Joe. The charge into the corner only hits kick to the face though, allowing Joe to hit the Muscle Buster for the pin at 9:33 shown (of the nearly thirty minute match).

Rating: B-. Well it seemed to be a good match, at least from what we saw of the thing. Joe was on another planet at this point and Styles was in his weird phase as Angle’s wacky goon, but it isn’t like he was going to be awful in the ring. Throw in a very talented Sabin and of course this was going to work, even if we missed almost twenty minutes.

Post match we cut to a livid Kurt Angle (AJ’s boss), storming out of his own Thanksgiving dinner. Back in the arena, AJ won’t put the suit on so here is Jim Cornette to order him to do it. After some coaxing, Styles (very slowly) puts the suit on so Tomko and Kurt come out to yell. Samoa Joe and the Outsiders come out to laugh at Angle and pals, meaning the brawl is on. The bad guys are cleared out, with Eric Young coming in to add a turkey leg to Angle to wrap things up. Then Hall got fired and Joe was given a live mic at the pay per view where he went on an all time rant against a lot of people.

Overall Rating: C. I never know what to say about these things, especially when it was a bunch of clips from what was little more than a comedy concept. There was a bit of decent action and it is fun to look back at some flashes of different times in the company’s history, but there was nothing worth seeing here. Granted that is kind of the point, but this was still a weird choice for a show.

 

 

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WrestleReunion VI: They Got The Idea Right

WrestleReunion VI
Date: January 28, 2012
Location: The Westin Los Angeles Airport, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 900
Commentators: Excalibur, Marty DeRosa

I’m not completely sure on the name of this show as I’ve seen it as both WrestleReunion VI and Pro Wrestling Superstars: Los Angeles but I’ll take the one with Roman numerals. As you can probably guess, it’s a big time indy reunion show featuring a bunch of wrestlers from years past, which can make for some interesting matchups but often some lackluster performances. Let’s get to it.

Here are Mick Foley and Mike Tyson to open things up so there is certainly some star power. Foley talks about his history with Tyson and mentions being a guest referee tonight. Now usually he promises to call a match right down the line and tonight he’s refereeing the New Age Outlaws vs. the Steiner Brothers. This time though Foley needs our help “because Rick Steiner has never liked me and Scotty is out of his f****** mind.” I’ve been watching Mick Foley for about thirty years and I don’t think I can remember three times I’ve heard him use an F bomb. I mean he’s right, but it’s rare.

Usually he’s going to get physically involved, but tonight he isn’t crazy enough to do that. This time though, he has Mike Tyson watching his back so he’s safe to head to St. Louis for the Royal Rumble (that gets a heck of a pop). Tyson takes the mic and talks about various wrestlers he likes, including Billy Graham and Sid Vicious. I really can’t make out most of what he’s saying, but that’s Tyson for you.

We get our first commentary and…..well actually Excalibur is quite good at this kind of show so it should be fine.

Arik Royal vs. Adam Page

This is one of the things I love about watching old shows because Page is 21 years old here and absolutely nothing. Excalibur tells DeRosa to calm down a bit and save some energy, which makes me chuckle for reasons of the future. The bigger Royal goes after the arm to start as commentary actually talks about something interesting, with a discussion of the pressure of having to follow Foley and Tyson.

Royal hits a headscissors into an armdrag but misses the backsplash, allowing Page to miss a standing shooting star. We get a standoff for a bit until Royal nails a spinwheel kick. Royal goes up but dives into a dropkick to the floor. Page tries a running shooting star off the apron and hits Royal’s chest with his head for a nearly terrifying landing. Page takes his necklace back and goes inside…..but we’ve got VADER. I think we’ll call this a no contest at about 4:00 as this is going to be a massacre.

Rating: C-. The ratings are going to be a little bit lighter this time around as this is a one off legends show and not about the match quality. I’ve seen Royal before and he did fine in both matches so he seems to have a little something going for him. Then there’s Page, who would go on to become a huge star on national television. That’s one of the things I love about watching a show like this: seeing someone who is nothing here but would go on to bigger things. Not much of a match of course, but VADER, so we’re fine.

Royal jumps Page post match….and then decides to go after Vader. Well maybe that’s why Page became a bigger star. Vader runs him over so Page tries to come in for a German suplex. Excalibur: “ARE YOU ANTONIO INOKI PAGE???” Destruction ensues but Royal gets up to help double team Vader in the corner.

A double suplex isn’t happening though and Vader mauls Royal again. Royal manages to trap Vader’s arms so Page can go up….but then Vader breaks free and hits Royal in the head. Page gets caught on top and it’s there’s a Vader Bomb. Royal gets chokeslammed and Page gets powerbombed as the Vader stuff went on a good bit longer than the match itself.

New Age Outlaws vs. Steiner Brothers

The only meeting ever here, with Mick Foley (“The hardcore legend and friend of Mike Tyson!”) as guest referee. Road Dogg does his usual stuff and hands it off to Billy Gunn to take it home. Gunn: “IF YA SMELL……” Hang on because that’s not right. Gunn knows he screwed up so let’s try it again. Gunn: “AND THAT’S THE BOTTOM….” No again, but he gets it right on the third time. You can tell he’s serious here too because he’s in the Kip James trunks. Then we get very serious because Scott Steiner grabs the mic and drops his first homophobic slur of the night.

We get a few F bombs to the fans and it’s time to go. Actually hang on because Foley realizes that he’s in over his head here and says he’ll be cowering in the corner. Billy and Scott finally get things going with Scott unloading in the corner. Well at least hitting some slow knees to the ribs. Billy fights out of the corner by punching Scott in the face and it’s off to Dogg. Rick comes in with a double clothesline though and we get the old Steiner Brothers pose.

The Outlaws bail to the floor (Wouldn’t you?) until we settle down to Rick biting Dogg’s pants in the corner. That’s enough to send Dogg outside to ring the bell because he isn’t standing for Rick’s tongue going…..uh, somewhere. Dogg: “I’m not saying we can’t have a drink later and talk about it, but in here, I’m not standing for it!” Ring announcer: “Ladies and gentlemen, referee Mick Foley has just informed me that he is authorizing tongue in the a** for this match!”

We settle back to Rick backing Billy into the corner, with Gunn’s trunks coming down a good bit in the process. Gunn gets in a right hand but misses a charge in the corner, allowing Rick to bite him right in the middle of the back of the trunks. That sends Gunn over to grab Dogg around the waist, giving us the expected reaction. It’s off to Dogg, who wants Scott for no logical reason. He has to stay with Rick, who he drives into the Steiner corner so Scott can come in for some shots to the ribs. Well he got what he wanted.

Dogg’s bouncing punches manage to put Scott down for two, with the fans saying YOU STILL GOT IT. I’ll let you figure out which one they’re talking about. Scott is back with a spinning belly to belly suplex and Rick gets in some choking from the apron. Foley: “MIKE TYSON FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHERE ARE YOU???” Scott suplexes Dogg and goes into the pushups, earning a cheer despite not being so nice earlier in the night.

Rick slaps on the crossface of all things as Marty gets his Mike Tyson history wrong (by saying that Mike Tyson called Steve Austin “Cold Stone” on Raw when it was at the Royal Rumble). Dogg fights up and gets the hot tag off to Gunn for some house cleaning. The belly to belly cuts that off and it’s time for Scott to get in Foley’s face. That means Mr. Socko…..who goes flying after a single Scott glare. The distraction lets Gunn hit the Fameasser for a pretty fast three at 11:32.

Rating: C. All things considered, this was not half bad whatsoever. They were actually working a bit and while of course it wasn’t great (they’re old and mainly retired), they did some goofy stuff to bridge the gap. The Foley being scared stuff helped a lot and I liked it well enough. For a one off dream match, I’ve seen far, far worse.

Post match Rick finds Socko and has some Alex flashbacks (look it up).

Colt Cabana vs. Fit Finlay

Under World Of Sport (British) rules and a fan who won an auction gets to handle the introductions. There are three five minute rounds and you can win by pin, submission or knockout. There are no closed fists allowed either, which probably won’t make that much of a difference but it’s certainly a rule. Another fan gets to be Cabana’s corner man but Cabana says we’re about two minutes away. The referee goes over the rules, with Cabana asking if a kick low is legal (Cabana: “WHAT ABOUT A KICK TO THE D***?”).

We get the bell to start the first round, as commentary still hasn’t actually explained the rules here. Finlay grabs Cabana’s leg so Cabana bails into the corner in a hurry as commentary explains the idea of the Troubles in Northern Ireland. A shot to the face rocks Cabana again and the corner man has to check on his face.

That seems to be ok so Finlay takes him down into a toehold. Finlay grabs a nerve hold and ribs at Cabana’s face because he’s kind of an awesome villain. Back up and Finlay starts in on the arm, with commentary almost calling Finlay a grizzled young veteran (like that would ever work for a UK wrestler). Cabana finally comes back with a headlock takeover and one fan calls it boring. Round one ends but Cabana doesn’t want to let go of the headlock that he worked so hard to get in the first place.

After the corner man gives Cabana some water and towels him down, we’re ready to go with round two. Some uppercuts rock Cabana as Excalibur says he suffers from knowitallism. Finlay stomps on the fingers and kicks him in the face before sending Cabana outside for a needed breather. The corner man adds some slaps (despite NOT being in the corner) and we get some Cabana sneering. Finlay heads outside to yell at a fan so Cabana tells the corner man to slap Finlay in the face.

Thankfully that isn’t going to happen so Finlay doesn’t get to do something so horrible that I can’t come up with a good metaphor for the level of violence. Back in and Finlay hits some elbows to send him outside, setting up a whip into the barricade. They get back inside for some arm cranking/stomping into a keylock to keep Cabana down. The round ends with Finlay evening things up by not letting go of the arm either, which does not seem good for Cabana either.

Finlay goes extra evil by jumping Cabana during his meeting with the corner man. The Fujiwara armbar goes on to start the third round but Cabana fights up. That earns him an arm first whip into the corner and it’s back to the armbar with a knee in the shoulder. A Jake Roberts short arm clothesline sets up the running seated senton but Cabana reverses into a sunset flip for a creative counter. The Flying Apple (which might not have been named yet) connects but it’s too early for the Billy Goat’s Curse. Finlay kicks him shoulder first into the post and then does it again for a bonus. The Celtic Cross finishes Cabana at 15:16.

Rating: C. This didn’t really feel like some kind of special British match as it was really just Finlay working the arm and the a regular finish. The rounds didn’t change much either and I was a bit disappointed with the whole thing. It was fine as a regular match, but they seemed to be going for something special here and it just wasn’t there.

7OH!4 vs. Unholy Alliance

7OH!4 is Caleb Konley/Cedric Alexander, with commentary saying they are the next CM Punk/Colt Cabana or Motor City Machine Guns. Eh they were names but hold on a second there. The Alliance is Tajiri/Mikey Whipwreck, former ECW Tag Team Champions but unfortunately minus James Mitchell/Sinister Minister. Konley grabs a wristlock on Mikey to start but he’s right back with a hiptoss into a headscissors despite not being the size of a guy you would expect to use a headscissors.

We hear about some rookie named Zack Ryder to come out of Mikey’s school as Tajiri comes in to a rather big reaction. Tajiri misses a swinging kick to Alexander’s face so it’s a hammerlock to take Alexander down instead. Back up and Alexander’s headlock doesn’t work and Tajiri starts firing off the kicks to the arm. Mikey comes in to pick Alexander up so Tajiri can nail a dropkick to the face. There’s a double gutbuster to Konley and stereo kicks to the head have him on the floor as the fans are rather pleased.

Mikey’s slingshot dive takes out both of them and the referee begins a rather slow count. Tajiri however won’t dive so Mikey comes back in and gets enziguried into a Downward Spiral for two (with Excalibur getting in the beta version of combiNATION, because I can’t escape the thing). Konley grabs the cravate to hold Mikey down for a bit, followed by the basement clothesline to give Alexander two. Tajiri spits at Alexander (with commentary thinking it’s Konley) and it’s a double Russian legsweep to drop Mikey for two.

Hold on though as Tajiri comes in to….pull Mikey’s pants up and then head back to the apron. Well at least he’s polite. Embracing the power of raised pants, Mikey superkicks Alexander (THE PANTS WORKED!) and it’s back to Tajiri to clean house. Everything breaks down and Tajiri’s superkick gets tow on Konley. Mikey snaps off a pretty nice Frankensteiner on Alexander and a low makes it worse. The referee checks on Alexander and Tajiri mists Konley, setting up the Whippersnapper for the pin at 10:19.

Rating: C+. I know Mikey and Tajiri were a big deal in the dying days of ECW but they were a rather nice team who still looked good here. You don’t get something like that very often and it was fun to see them working so well. Alexander and Konley were still really young here so losing to a team with some credibility, even if it was twelve years old at this point, was fine. Pretty good match here too so well done on a little surprise.

Demus 3:16 vs. Mascarita Dorado

Minis match and Dorado is better known as El Torito. Demus is a good bit bigger and is probably about Rey Mysterio size. A wristdrag takes Demus down to start and frustration is already setting in. Demus knocks him down without much effort so Dorado starts rolling around as we hear about the WWF Light Heavyweight division. Dorado pulls him into the cross armbreaker but Demus powers him up with ease because the size difference is a bit much here.

Back up and a rather spinning headscissors sends Demus outside, setting up the big suicide dive. Dorado manages to throw him back inside for a fireman’s carry, which is a little more impressive than you might think. A fireman’s carry slam sets up a moonsault but the second moonsault only hits raised boots. Demus grabs a tilt-a-whirl into a Dominator (cool) and there’s a giant swing to send Dorado down again. They head outside with Dorado being dropped onto the timekeeper’s table and Demus takes him back in for a pop up powerslam.

There’s a heck of a toss as Excalibur talks about Wolverine debuting back in the 1960s. Dorado bounces up out of the corner with a double springboard headbutt, followed by a crazy spinning (as in he spins around Demus about ten times) into a headscissors to the floor. That earns the HOLY S*** chant, setting up the top rope hurricanrana to take Demus down again. Back in and a top rope hurricanrana, with Dorado landing on his feet because, sets up another very spinning hurricanrana into a small package for the pin at 8:04.

Rating: C+. Yeah this was fun and Dorado is one of those things that has to be seen to be believed. He can do all kinds of stuff out there and makes it look easy, which is about as cool as you can get. Demus was a good target for Dorado as he is so much bigger, allowing Dorado to do all of his spots out there. Throw in getting in and out fairly fast and this was a lot of fun. Not great, but it was the kind of match that fit in perfectly on a show like this.

Dorado having a salsa version of the Mission Impossible theme makes it even better. The fans throw in the money so Dorado slaps him in the face with a dollar. That might seem rude, but Demus picks the dollar up and, ahem, cleans himself with it so Dorado is better….I guess?

Tommy Dreamer vs. Kevin Steen

Street fight and for you younger people, Steen is better known as Kevin Owens. The fans seem split here and it’s an exchange of hammerlocks to start. Dreamer’s shoulder bounces off of Steen (Steen: “IN YOUR DREAMS!”) and it’s time to hammer on Dreamer for a bit. Steen drop toeholds him down and hits the flipping legdrop to the back of Dreamer’s head. Back up and Dreamer kicks him low in the corner to send Steen outside, setting up the running flip dive off the apron.

A bottle of water to the head rocks Steen again but Dreamer gets crotched on the barricade because Dreamer spends too much time pointing at the crowd (as Dreamer tends to do). They brawl through the crowd and Steen hits him over the back with a well stolen crutch. Dreamer gets taken up onto a camera table and gets knocked down onto (not through) another table in a big crash. Back into the crowd with Dreamer hitting him in the head with a Steen DVD.

Dreamer sends him into the barricade and then heads backstage to grab the usual assortment of weapons. A hockey stick to the back rocks Steen again and there’s….something made of wood over Steen’s head. Dreamer gets sent into a plastic tray in the corner and Steen hits him in the knee with a stick. The Sharpshooter goes on (because Steen is Canadian) but is broken up in a hurry. Dreamer misses a charge into the post so Steen puts a stop sign over him to set up the Cannonball, which is not the brightest move in the world.

That lets Steen tie him in the Tree of Woe and this isn’t going to end well. Indeed, as Steen hits a running dropkick to a chair in the face. Commentary starts making Steven Segal references as Dreamer catches him on top with a superplex. Dreamer wins the big slugout so Steen goes low in a smart move. The Even Flow gets two but Dreamer catches him on top to break up a moonsault.

Now it’s Steen in the Tree of Woe so Dreamer can hit him low with a stick. There’s the running basement dropkick to drive a stop sign into Steen’s face and now it’s time to grab a piece of barricade. That takes too long though and Steen superkicks him off the apron. The fans want to see someone use a hammer but they settle for Dreamer kicking a rope for a low blow. With nothing else working, one of the fans gives Dreamer a HUGE hammer, which he uses to crush the bell between Steen’s legs. Steen is fine enough to shove Dreamer onto the piece of barricade inside and a Swanton finishes Dreamer at 19:24.

Rating: B-. This was a pretty hard hitting street fight, though it did run a good bit longer than it should have. What mattered here was the idea of the old hardcore legend vs. the new breed and that worked out rather well. I’m not wild on these matches most of the time but this one was pretty fun, which is about all you can hope for in this kind of a situation.

Post match Steen is ready to say something to Dreamer but Raven runs in to hit Steen low and DDT Dreamer for old times’ sake. Steen to Raven: “You’re a f****** a**hole!” Steen to Dreamer: “Thank you.”

Intermission, which is cut from the video.

Roderick Strong vs. Jake Manning

Manning is an adult Manscout and comes out to a John Cougar Mellencamp song, which I believe was used in the Waterboy. After Manning gives the referee some lessons on how to properly call a match, he takes Strong down to the mat for a headscissors. They grapple on the mat for a bit with Strong getting the better of things but that is broken up in a hurry. Manning takes him back down by the arm as commentary talks about how it might be difficult to find footage on Manning, who rarely leaves the southeast.

Strong is back up with a shot to the face and unloads with the chops in the corner. A belly to back suplex sets up a chinlock on Manning but he’s right back up with a kick to the face. Manning drops an elbow for two and drives Strong into the corner for the choking. They head outside with Manning sending him into the apron for two, setting up the next chinlock. That’s broken up as well and they go with a pinfall reversal sequence for some near falls each. Strong is back up with a dropkick and they’re both down for a breather.

It’s Strong up first with a bunch of running forearms into a belly to back suplex for two more. Manning comes back with an (oddly appropriate for reasons that I can’t figure out) airplane spin. Strong isn’t having that and hammers away but Manning is right back with a backbreaker into a Downward Spiral for three. Only two of them count though due to the foot being on the rope though, meaning Strong can come back with an enziguri. The Angle Slam gets two and it’s the backbreaker into the Sick Kick to finish Manning at 11:04.

Rating: C+. This is the kind of match that I like to see on a show like this, as Strong is a much bigger name than Manning but they went back and forth well enough here to make you believe that Manning could pull it off. The match worked well as Strong can have a good match against anyone and Manning held up his end despite being known for little more than his gimmick. Good stuff here, with a nice battle of the generations.

Davey Richards vs. Harry Smith

That would be Davey Boy Smith Jr., freshly released from WWE, and this could be interesting. They go with the technical exchange to start (shocking I know) with Richards getting him down into a modified surfboard and rolling him up for two. That’s broken up for a standoff and they lock up, with Smith absolutely towering over Richards. It’s back to the mat with Smith grabbing a short armscissors and rolling him around a bit.

That’s reversed into something like an Indian Deathlock from Richards to crank on the leg. Make that a Muta Lock with commentary thinking Richards would do well at Subway. Smith slips out and cranks him down by the arm, setting up a full nelson. That’s broken up as well as Richards rolls out with an armdrag, only to get pulled into a spinning belly to belly for two. More arm cranking has Richards down again but he sends Smith to the floor. There’s the running kick to the chest from the apron, setting up the suicide dive.

Back in and a missile dropkick sends Smith into the corner. It’s time to start working on the leg, with Davey kicking away and grabbing a Trailer Hitch. Richards stomps on both knees at once and it’s a dragon screw legwhip into a half crab. Now it’s an STF as the fans start shouting various things. Smith fights up and kicks him into the corner, setting up a powerslam for two.

Smith crotches him on top and grabs a delayed superplex for a slightly delayed near fall. A superkick and a powerbomb give Smith two more each but Richards kicks him down again. The top rope double stomp gets two and we hit the ankle lock. That’s broken up with a roll into the post, allowing Smith to grab a cross armbreaker. Richards rolls into another ankle lock, which Smith reverses into one of his own.

The grapevined version is countered into a Sharpshooter, which Smith reverses into his own Sharpshooter. Smith grabs a small package for two but Richards BLASTS him with a knee for the same. Back up and Smith tries a powerbomb but Richards reverses into a sunset flip. Smith sits down on it ala his dad against Bret Hart, only to have Richards slip out into a cradle for the pin at 17:26.

Rating: B. It was good action throughout and Smith looked good in defeat, but egads I had forgotten how hard it is to get invested in a Richards match. He is so ultra serious all the time, though at least he wasn’t doing his “get kicked in the head and scream a lot without selling anything” and writing it off as strong style. This got the crowd going and I certainly didn’t hate it though, which is some high praise for a Richards match.

Post match Richards says he can’t believe the people up north let Smith go. Richards talks about the similarities between the two of them, including idolizing the same people growing up. Respect is shown and Smith says it’s better to hear these fans chant his name instead of Michael Cole every Monday night. Wrestling will always be #1 for him, even if he jumps into MMA (which he didn’t).

El Generico/Great Sasuke vs. Young Bucks

The Bucks are actually young here and come out to MMMBop, which is rather frustrating. Matt does the Randy Savage finger spin and Nick parodies the Spinarooni (there’s your 90s reference). The fans go NUTS for Generico and it’s a shame that he retired so soon after this. You know Excalibur is right there with all of the Sasuke history because this is his thing.

Generico reveals a half Generico/Sasuke mask and takes Nick down to start. An exchange of wristlocks goes nowhere so Nick drives him into the corner and starts in on the arm again. We hear about how completely and utterly amazing the Bucks are as Sasuke comes in to headlock Nick. Some kicks to the ribs have little effect on Sasuke (the only time Sasuke and Rick Rude will be compared), who elbows Nick in the head. Generico comes back in and gets taken into the corner so Matt can talk a lot of trash.

A few quick armdrags have Matt in trouble as we hear about Sasuke making a documentary about mouthwash (or something). Generico hammers away on Matt in the corner and fires off chops against the ropes for a bonus. Matt is back with the headscissors to hold Generico in place, allowing Nick to kick him in the mask and into the barricade. Back in and Matt laughs at Generico, setting up the slow motion stomping.

We hit the front facelock until Nick comes back in for some shots in the corner. A handspring rake to the back sets up a slingshot hilo as Excalibur talks about how the Young Bucks have a supernatural feel for the DMZ on the thirty third parallel in the ring. Generico rakes the Bucks’ chests to escape but it’s still too early for the tag. Matt’s waistlock keeps Generico in trouble but he manages the exploder suplex into the corner.

That’s enough for the hot tag to Sasuke to clean house as everything breaks down. Sasuke dropkicks Nick through the ropes and Generico hits the big running flip dive to crush Matt. Back in and a Blockbuster gets two on Matt and Sasuke takes a LONG time to go up for a Ram Jam (from The Wrestler), allowing Matt to roll away. The Bucks take turns kicking Sasuke in the back of the trunks but it’s back to Generico for the Blue Thunder Bomb to Nick.

The Helluva Kick is broken up but Nick kicks Matt in the head but mistake. Sasuke crushes Nick with a springboard missile dropkick, only to have Nick low bridge him to the floor. A wheelbarrow faceplant gives Matt two on Generico and Risky Business gets the same. More Bang For Your Buck is countered into a half and half suplex and Sasuke is back with a powerbomb to Nick. Matt superkicks Sasuke though and everyone is down again.

Nick comes back in to knee Sasuke off the apron but Generico sends Nick’s kick into Matt’s head. You know the Bucks aren’t selling that though and it’s a double superkick into the assisted Tombstone for two on Generico with Sasuke making another save. Nick misses a moonsault and Sasuke hits a big flip dive onto Matt on the floor. That gets the fans back into it and Generico’s Swanton gets two on Nick. Now the Helluva Kick can connect to set up the brainbuster onto the buckle to finish Nick at 21:12.

Rating: B. This was better than I was expecting and it was nice to see the Bucks actually lose for a change. You don’t usually see the dream team beating the regular partners so this was quite the surprise. It really is a shame that Generico retired, as he is quite the star. You can see how influential he was too, as a lot of people would copy his style, almost down to the move at times.

Wrestle Royal

20 man Royal Rumble and Ken Shamrock is a ringside enforcer. Matt Classic (I hear Colt Cabana is a big fan) is in at #1 and Lanny Poffo is in at #2 for one of the most unique matches I can remember seeing in a long time. Commentary makes it clear that entrants will be STRICTLY timed, after an apparent issue last year. Classic slowly hammers away at the back and grabs a claw but misses the bottom rope splash. Poffo actually manages the moonsault (not bad for 57) and goes for the mask.

Rock Riddle (the original Mr. Wonderful, who I’ve never actually seen wrestle) is in at #3 as we seem to have 90 second intervals. Riddle doesn’t actually get in the ring as Classic and Poffo continue their slow motion fighting. The timing is already a bit off as Carlos Colon (The Youngster!) is in at #4. Colon gets to hit both guys in the head as commentary continues its running joke of Classic feuding with every old wrestler ever. Riddle finally comes in (I wasn’t betting on the flower print gear) for a few shots of his own as Gangrel is in at #5.

Brawling continues as Gangrel (getting a rather strong reception) bites Poffo in the corner. The clock is even further all over the place as Jesse Hernandez is in at #6. Classic gets beaten up some more but gets choked in the corner by Gangrel. Mando Guerrero is in at #7 and gets quite the reception as he beats on Classic. They finally start teasing some eliminations (and no you cannot expect any kind of serious quality out of this) until Kevin Sullivan is in at #8.

Stick shots abound until Colon headbutts the stick out of Sullivan’s hands. Colon stabs Sullivan in the stomach with said stick and then beats Gangrel in the back. Piloto Suicida (still active today) is in at #9 as the ring is really getting full. The rapid fire entrances (now barely at a minute) continue as Tommy Dreamer is in at #10 (OF COURSE Dreamer is working twice) to hammer on Gangrel as commentary talks about how these two are some of the youngest in the match. Everyone is still in as Dreamer beats on Classic, apparently as payback for all of those boring Madison Square Garden main events.

Robbie E., the reigning TNA TV Champion, is in at #11 and promises to become the youngest ever winner of this match. Then Dreamer tosses him in a hurry for a funny bit. Virgil (to Ted DiBiase’s music) is in at #12 as Poffo, Colon and Guerrero were all put out somewhere. Greg Valentine, coming out to Sharp Dressed Man of all things, is in at #13. Classic is doing Hindu squats as Sullivan hits Suicida with the bell. Valentine has Dreamer in the Figure Four as Gangrel drops elbows.

Konnan is in at #14 to go after Sullivan, with commentary (thankfully) bringing up the Dungeon of Doom. Dan Severn is in at #15 and this could be interesting. Gangrel goes after Severn in a hurry as the ring is too full again. Jimmy Hart, with a lot of padding, of all people is in at #16 and wisely walks around the ring for a bit.

Godfather, with his ladies, is in at #17 and Gangrel eliminates himself to join in. Hart was eliminated off screen and Brutus Beefcake is in at #18 (dang I miss that theme) and goes after Valentine to ruin the Dream Team reunion. Bradley Ray Schreak (an auction winner) is in at #19 as Sullivan is out. Beefcake grabs the sleeper on Schreak as Suicida is out. Schreak gets a haircut, including with the big scissors, as Severn gets rid of Virgil. The match completely stops for the haircut until Schreak wakes up and panics over his hair being gone.

That’s enough for an elimination and it’s Raven in at #20 (with Dreamer waiting on him) to complete the field. The final grouping is Classic, Dreamer, Valentine, Konnan, Severn, Godfather, Beefcake and Raven. Hang on though as Raven doesn’t want to get in, only to have Kevin Steen come out and jump him from behind. Steen throws Raven in for a DDT from Dreamer, who tosses Raven without much trouble. Dreamer, ever the genius, jumps out to beat on Raven some more and beats him to the back with Steen. Classic is eliminated and there goes Konnan.

We’re down to Severn, Valentine, Beefcake and Godfather (I love indy wrestling) but Shamrock distracts Severn, allowing Valentine to toss him. Severn pulls Valentine out and we’re down to two. The Ho Train misses Godfather but he low bridges Beefcake out for the win at 23:12.

Rating: C. Fun. What other word is there to describe something like this? They weren’t trying to do anything serious here and it was all about having people get a quick payoff and come out to a pop. It worked at the Gimmick Battle Royal in 2001 and it works at any show like this. I had a good time with it and that’s the entire point of this kind of match. It’s a lot of fun, and well done on doing what they should have.

The women come in to dance with Godfather, who hits his catchphrase (while clearly having a blast) to wrap up the night.

Overall Rating: B. I’ve seen a good number of these reunion style shows and this was one of the better ones, with a nice mixture of old vs. new and some legends matches thrown in there as well. They had some big names included and while they might have had a better option as the main event (though it did fit the reunion theme), this was a lot of fun. It’s longer than it needs to be (at nearly three and a half hours, not counting intermission), but I had a good time with it and that is entirely the goal with something like this.

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – November 24, 2016: No Thank You

Impact Wrestling
Date: November 24, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

It’s a holiday show and that means a lot of things could happen. In this case we’re also going to bear witness to Matt Hardy’s Ice Cream Social because this show is whatever the Hardys come up with to be all zany. As far as wrestling goes, we’ve got Ethan Carter III vs. Eli Drake with title shot vs. Drake being allowed to talk on the line. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the DCC attacking and defeating Eddie Edwards and Jeff Hardy last week.

Here’s Jeff to open things up in the arena. Jeff says today is all about family and while he’s not at home, the Creatures are still his family. As much as Jeff wants to jog Matt’s memory, he needs to deal with the DCC right now. Cue the DCC on screen to say they’re many, and can destroy the obsolete later tonight in a No DQ match. The unmasked men come to the ring but Jeff gets in a few shots and bails like a wise man.

At the Hardy Compound, Senor Benjamin is reading an adult magazine and Vanguard I is drinking lemonade. Matt goes off to set up for the Ice Cream Social and Vanguard I is worried that Matt will never get his memories back.

Andrew Everett/Trevor Lee/Marshe Rockett vs. Go For Broke vs. Rockstar Spud/Decay

Elimination rules meaning all three have to be eliminated (And NO, this isn’t TNA using a WWE idea. I need to stop being a WWE fanboy and shut up and enjoy this amazing concept!) and non-title since there isn’t a title for this Team X Gold thing. Mandrews, Steve and Lee start things off with the Brit cleaning house.

Spud comes in and gets slammed by six different people without an ejection because the rules are only enforced when it’s convenient. Abyss even gets in a slam on Spud because well why not. A missile dropkick puts Abyss down but Mandrews’ followup doesn’t work quite so well as he crashes to the floor. Abyss hits him with a chair and that’s a DQ. Oh wait it’s an EJECTION instead of a DQ. Ignore the whole rules being broken because apparently DQ’s have been replaced by ejections.

Mandrews taps out to a crossface chickenwing a few seconds later and Josh goes on a limb suggesting that the team with three members is in control at the moment. Everett moonsaults onto Steve for an elimination, only to get caught in the DJZ for an elimination almost immediately thereafter. So it’s DJZ/Sutter vs. Lee/Rockett vs. Spud. Sutter’s Flatliner gets rid of Lee but Spud and Rockett get in an argument over who gets to beat up DJZ. Unfortunately Spud realizes he has no partners left so it’s a kick to Spud’s face and a Rock Bottom for the elimination. Another Flatliner gives Sutter the final pin at 8:07.

Rating: D+. This is one of the dumbest concepts TNA has ever had and that’s saying a lot. There’s no structure, the rules make little sense (Hitting someone with a chair in front of the referee is a DQ. Stop trying to make this more complicated than it is.) and one team has completely dominated the whole thing. I really don’t get what they’re going for here but it’s falling really, really flat.

Allie is playing with dolls and talking about Thanksgiving when Maria and Laurel Van Ness come in. They rip on Allie for being stupid and Maria says Allie will be serving them dinner on their double date. Are we just supposed to forget Allie standing up to Maria a few weeks ago?

Matt says his food will make Robert Irvine’s cooking obsolete, sending Vanguard I a shot of hope. The first guest, a referee, comes up and has some tapes to show Matt.

It’s time for Thanksgiving dinner with Allie dressed as a Pilgrim. She doesn’t want Braxton Sutter to see her like this so guess who Laurel’s date is (Braxton has apparently taken the fastest shower in wrestling history as he looks fine here). Laurel and Mike Bennett say what they’re thankful for and Maria yells at Allie for trying to speak. Van Ness hits on Braxton and Allie finally snaps, calling Laurel a big meanie (Is there any wonder why she’s the most over person on the roster?). Maria gets pied and that’s about it. There was a chance for a followup there but since it’s TNA, we just go to the next segment.

Carter and Drake are ready for their main event tonight.

Matt looks at clips of becoming World Champion and can’t believe he was that violent. Reby doesn’t know what to do now.

Ethan Carter III vs. Eli Drake

Title shot vs. being able to speak for the rest of the year. They start brawling on the floor for a bit until Carter hits a dropkick inside to take over. Drake slowly pounds away but gets clotheslined right back to the floor as we take a break. Back with Drake being sent into the steps but he snaps Ethan’s throat over the top. We hit the chinlock for a bit, followed by a powerslam for two on Ethan.

With nothing else to do, Drake grabs a microphone and talks trash while stomping away. He slaps Carter in the face a few times but gets caught in the TK3. The 1%er is countered into a torture rack neckbreaker but Carter comes right back with a frog splash for the same. Blunt Force Trauma gets two for Eli and the 1%er gets the same. The rear naked choke makes Drake tap at 16:04.

Rating: B-. Not bad here as Drake continues to look good, though I have no idea where this rear naked choke came from. Carter just started using it a few weeks ago and now it’s some devastating finisher. Drake not being able to talk could be rather entertaining but I could go for him winning a big match for a change.

The Hardys hypnotize Matt to fix him. Well that’s underwhelming. Another snap of the hypnotist’s fingers turns Matt back into his one true self, meaning the one who doesn’t like wrestling.

Al Snow/Mahabali Shera vs. Tribunal

Snow and Baraka start things off with Basile yelling about the old man. The trapping headbutts have Snow in control and it’s off to Shera for the dancing. Thankfully that doesn’t last long and it’s back to Snow, who gets caught in the wrong corner. That only lasts a little while as well before it’s off to Shera for the Sky High and another near fall. Everything breaks down and the Snow Plow is broken up, leaving Baraka to hit Snow with a foreign object for the DQ at 6:34.

Rating: D-. THIS FEUD IS SO BORING! I can only imagine this feud is to appease the Sony Six audience as Shera is little more than a goon while Snow is a role that could be played by anyone else. It doesn’t help that this story has been going on and off for the better part of six months now with almost no advancement.

Grado and Robbie E. are put in a turkey suit match to bring back a tradition.

Grado vs. Robbie E.

They slug it out to start with Grado getting the better of it off the snap jabs. A double clothesline puts both guys down as this is a little less funny than I was expecting. Robbie grabs a rollup for the pin at 2:39.

Aiden O’Shea comes out to make Grado put on the suit and dancing ensues. Total waste of time here but at least it wasn’t Al Snow and the Tribunal.

Rosemary is ready for her cage match next week.

Jeff Hardy vs. Bram

Anything goes. Jeff knocks him to the floor to start and hits a dive, only to have to back off from the DCC. Back with Bram charging into boots in the corner but Storm comes in, which makes perfect sense. Well save for him waiting five minutes to interfere that is. Jeff makes another comeback but has to deal with Storm while Bram goes outside for a chair. The Whisper in the Wind gets rid of Storm and the Twisting Stunner gets two on Bram. A quick Last Call knocks Jeff into the Brighter Side of Suffering for the pin at 11:56.

Rating: C-. Well that happened. This was much more storytelling than a match as Jeff needs backup to help him fight off the odds (Where was Eddie Edwards tonight?), preferably in the form of his brother. There wasn’t much to this one and that’s fine enough, especially when it’s a story instead of a big match.

The DCC poses with the titles.

Reby is at her wits’ end with Matt but he just can’t remember what’s going on. Matt storms out of the house freaking out and asks the seven deities to send him a sign. He is then hit by a bolt of lightning, which turns him back into Broke Matt.

Overall Rating: D. Same problems as usual for TNA here: too much Hardy (though his normal self was making me chuckle) and a horrible lower card dragging down the good things this promotion does. Team X Gold gets more annoying every single time as there’s almost no consistency, let alone a point, to the whole thing. It also doesn’t help that TNA doesn’t really have anything to build towards since they only have Impact at the moment. I’ve seen worse episodes, but this wasn’t very good.

Results

Go For Broke b. Decay/Rockstar Spud and Marshe Rockett/Trevor Lee/Andrew Everett – Flatliner to Rockett

Ethan Carter III b. Eli Drake – Rear naked choke

Al Snow/Mahabali Shera b. Tribunal when Baraka used a foreign object

Robbie E. b. Grado – Rollup

Bram b. Jeff Hardy – Brighter Side of Suffering

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Impact Wrestling – November 10, 2016: Looking at you Through the Glass

Impact Wrestling
Date: November 10, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

It’s another big night here in TNA as the World Title is on the line again. This time it’s Eli Drake challenging as he cashes in his Bound for Gold title shot for a chance at Eddie Edwards’ World Title. Other than that we’ll likely get an update on Broken Matt Hardy, who might have amnesia. Let’s get to it.

We look back at last week’s main event.

Josh previews the show, which will feature the start of some competition to crown a new #1 contender.

Here’s Eddie to open the show. Over his career, he’s had a lot of support but there’s also been a lot of negativity. He’s developed a never say die attitude and is ready for anything, but here’s Drake to interrupt. Drake is Bound For Gold and is ready to lighten Eddie’s load a bit. This brings out Ethan Carter III to say he’ll be #1 contender no matter what. He can see it in Eli’s eyes: Drake isn’t ready to be champion. Now it’s Mike Bennett and Maria coming out to laugh at Ethan for betting on Eddie, just like when he bet and lost his streak. The fight is on but here’s Moose to join in as we take a break.

Mike Bennett vs. Moose

This is the first in a series of qualifying matches for a #1 contenders match. Moose throws him around to start so Maria pulls her husband to the floor, earning an ejection, followed by a lot of screaming. Back in and a chop block slows Moose down and we slow down into a standard “keep the power guy on the mat” match. Moose makes his comeback with headbutts to the arm but can’t do his running charge into the corner.

Instead it’s a Pop Up Powerbomb and a backsplash (becoming WAY too common a move in wrestling) for two, only to have Bennett kick out the leg again. A piledriver gets two because piledrivers are only devastating sometimes. The Game Changer is broken up with even more superkicks but Bennett no sells a pump kick, setting up a cutter for two. They head outside with Moose going head first into the steps, drawing a countout to give Bennett the win at 8:32.

Rating: D+. Standard Bennett match here, meaning nothing all that interesting. I’m glad they didn’t have Moose lose clean here and Bennett is more interesting going forward towards the title, especially if Lashley is involved in this competition. You don’t need two big power guys in the same match so Bennett going forward makes more sense.

Al Snow is here for a surprise from the Tribunal.

We go to the Hardy Compound where Jeff shows up to check on his brother. Apparently Matt has been acting differently since his injury, including wearing sweaters and showing an interest in home improvement. That means building a dining room, but he doesn’t recognize Jeff at the moment. Jeff tries to impersonate Broken Matt, who doesn’t even remember that they’re wrestlers. He’s an engineer now but Reby has an idea.

Here’s the Tribunal for a statement. They quickly bring Snow out and get right to the point: they don’t need him and never did. The beatdown is on and it’s Mahabali Shera for the save. The Tribunal easily beats up the dancer and stand tall.

Jesse Godderz wants to get his hands on Aron Rex and it’s not about the title.

Abyss vs. Ethan Carter III

Qualifying match. Carter misses an early charge but has to fight out of a chokeslam attempt. Abyss takes it outside and chokeslams Ethan onto the apron (which the announcers don’t point out as the hardest part of the ring). Back in and a hard shot to the face drops Carter again before a comeback is cut off by a chokeslam for two. A chair doesn’t work and Ethan grabs a sleeper for a tap out (Huh?) at 6:36.

Rating: D. A sleeper for a submission? I guess it was supposed to be a rear naked choke but when the announcers call it a sleeper, that’s what I’m going with. Maybe Carter couldn’t get him in the 1%er or something but that’s quite the weird ending. At least we had a fresh match for a change and that’s a good thing.

Eli is ready to take the title.

Back to the Hardy Compound where Reby plays the theme song while Matt eats lobster. A family sing-a-long breaks out but Matt has no idea what to do. To be fair they ask him to remember Jeff’s line. Jeff offers to take him on a ride on the dirtbike. Jeff: “ISN’T THAT EXCITING???” Matt: “No.”

JB is in the ring to bring out Gail Kim, who has an announcement. Gail comes out and says Borash is like family to him. Interesting but not much of an announcement. She asks Jade to come out here and calls Jade the future of the division. Gail sounds like she’s about to retire when Rosemary and Decay cut her off. It’s mist for Gail and Jade gets dropped, leaving Rosemary to choke Gail out. Rosemary isn’t done as she goes coast to coast to drive a garbage can into Jade’s face.

Trevor Lee vs. Rockstar Spud vs. DJZ

Thankfully it’s not a title match but rather another qualifying match. It’s a chase to start with Lee kicking DJZ in the chest but Spud can’t get a cover. Back in Lee throws DJZ around again but gets knocked outside, leaving Spud to take out DJZ’s leg. A springboard legdrop gets two but Lee muscles Spud up and sends him flying with a release German suplex. Spud comes back in for a low blow on DJZ but gets kneed in the face. The fishmerman’s buster gives Lee the pin on Spud at 4:22.

Rating: C-. This was every X-Division match you’ve seen in the last few years and there was no mention of the champion losing or of Lee earning a potential future title shot after winning a match involving the champ. At least DJZ didn’t lose though and he still has that stupid flag to carry around in Team X Gold which doesn’t actually involve gold.

Aiden O’Shea puts Grado and Robbie E. together as a team against Lashley. The happiness quickly ends.

Brandi Rhodes tries to give Allie a pep talk to no avail.

Lashley vs. Grado/Robbie E.

Qualifying match and the team doesn’t get an entrance. Tags are required here as Josh tries to say the team should be favored. Robbie is driven into the corner to start before it’s off to Grado for a top rope ax handle. Robbie’s middle rope clothesline actually puts Lashley down and Grado does his dancing punches. A double suplex just seems to tick Lashley off and it’s time to get serious. Grado’s spine is busted and the spear ends Robbie at 2:56.

We look back at Rex defending the title last week and knocking Godderz out with one punch.

Rex arrives while polishing the belt. Jesse is waiting on him (Rex: “Someone had too much Creatine.”) and we go to a break. Back with Rex saying he’s not interested in this and getting beaten up anyway. The beating continues until Rex gets back into the car and leaves.

Back to the Hardy Compound where Matt is terrified to be on the bike. They go to the lake where Matt is very confused about the idea of talking to a boat. Matt on what’s going on in his head: “It’s just so hard to describe!” Cue the Scribe to confuse Matt even more. Jeff suggests getting in the water but Matt says it’s freezing. Matt won’t do it so Jeff says he’ll go fight by himself. As his brother leaves, Matt suggests counseling.

TNA World Title: Eddie Edwards vs. Eli Drake

Drake is challenging and we get Big Match Intros. Feeling out process to start until Drake takes over with a hard clothesline. The champ gets beaten down a few more times and a powerslam gets two. Eddie’s comeback sees him throw Drake over the top but a little skinning the cat….doesn’t work as Drake is clotheslined out to the floor.

The suicide dive is overshot as Eddie crashes into the crowd and Drake comes up holding his arm. Back in and a quick Blunt Force Trauma gets two, followed by a quick belly to back suplex for the same. Not that it matters as the Boston Knee Party is enough for the pin to retain the title at 10:21.

Rating: C. The best thing about this match is the time. There’s no reason whatsoever for Eddie to need more than about ten minutes to dispatch Drake and that’s what happened here. Drake is similar to the Miz: mainly talk, but he’s so good at it that he can hang above his in ring levels. This gets rid of Bound For Gold but Drake did well enough that he could be back here someday.

Post match here’s the DCC to go after Eddie. The champ is laid out and the masks come off to reveal someone unnamed (Eddie Kingston), Bram and James Storm, the latter of whom seems to be the leader.

Overall Rating: C-. The show was fine enough but as usual there’s almost nothing to get connected to. Everything in TNA (save for the Hardys) is always so structured with people winning a tournament or a competition or something like that to get a title shot. You never have someone get over on sheer popularity and become a contender because everything has to be earned. I like the sentiment and it’s good for a change but as usual, it’s not a good idea to have everything be the same. I need more emotion and something to connect to as most of the time I’m just watching things happen instead of getting interested in them.

Results

Mike Bennett b. Moose via countout

Ethan Carter III b. Abyss – Sleeper

Trevor Lee b. Rockstar Spud and DJZ – Fisherman’s buster to Spud

Lashley b. Robbie E./Grado – Spear to Robbie

Eddie Edwards b. Eli Drake – Boston Knee Party

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Impact Wrestling – November 25, 2015: Thank Goodness

Impact Wrestling
Date: November 25, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

It’s the final night of group play as we’re finally going to know the final sixteen people who could become the new World Champion. That means the matches almost all have meaning for a change, which should mix things up a good bit. There’s no word on what happens after this but the finals should be coming soon. Let’s get to it.

We open with the standard recap and preview.

Group X-Division: DJZ vs. Manik vs. Tigre Uno

This is a playoff after these three tied in points. It’s a two fall match with the winner of the first fall getting to leave and then the second winner advancing as well. They all go after each other to start with Tigre sending both guys to the floor and hitting a huge moonsault off the top to take them both out. Back in and Manik and Uno trade arm holds until DJZ comes back in to break it up, only to be sent to the floor. Manik puts Tigre in a Gory Special and adds a reverse Boston crab to DJZ at the same time. Back up and DJZ grabs a quick double DDT to advance to the round of sixteen.

Tigre starts fast with a reverse suplex into a Stunner for two (cool move) but gets caught in a cross armbreaker. That sends Tigre to the ropes so Manik tries a belly to back superplex, only to get elbowed down. A split legged corkscrew moonsault sends Tigre to the next round at 7:57.

Rating: C. This is becoming my standard rating for an X-Division match. It didn’t have much time to go anywhere, the high spots were fun and the title meant nothing. I’m really not sure what they see in DJZ going forward after the changes to Manik but why bother with potential when you can go with comedy?

Drew Galloway was in Glasgow and talks about being married to this business because it’s all you have time for as a wrestler. This is the longest time he’s been home in ten years and he can’t wait to come back here with his perfect partner: the World Heavyweight Championship.

Group UK: Rockstar Spud vs. Drew Galloway

Feeling out process to start until Drew unleashes the power with a gorilla press. They head outside with Drew sending him back first into the apron, only to miss a charge and go head first into the steps. Drew barely beats the count back in and misses a charge into the post to make things even worse. Some running dropkicks and an enziguri mean it’s time for Spud to take off the bowtie. The Underdog is broken up but Drew can’t bring himself to take a cheap shot, allowing Spud to grab a jumping DDT for two. Not that it matters as the Claymore (running boot, to the chest in this case) puts Spud away at 7:17.

Rating: B-. Better than I was expecting here as Spud has found that perfect formula to make you believe that he could pull off a huge upset like this without it being ridiculous. Galloway is going to make a deep run in this thing and it’s cool to see him have to sweat a bit against someone who is fun to watch in Spud. Good match here and better than I was hoping for.

Group UK

Drew Galloway – 9 points (0 matches remaining)

Bram – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Rockstar Spud – 3 points (0 matches remaining)

Grado – 0 points (1 match remaining)

Group UK: Grado vs. Bram

If Bram wins, he advances to the round of sixteen. If Grado wins, there’s a three way playoff with Spud, Bram and Grado later tonight. Grado dances a lot and gets rolled up in four seconds. They had to get seven matches in tonight so this almost had to happen at some point.

Group UK

Drew Galloway – 9 points (0 matches remaining)

Bram – 6 points (0 matches remaining)

Rockstar Spud – 3 points (0 matches remaining)

Grado – 0 points (0 matches remaining)

Group Future Four: Micah vs. Jesse Godderz

Winner advances. Micah gets sent to the floor to start as Pope talks about getting the job done no matter what he was doing. Well he certainly did a lot of jobs so he’s got something there. Back in and Jesse slowly pounds away until Micah makes his comeback to indifference. A Samoan drop puts Jesse down but he avoids a top rope headbutt, setting up the Adonis Crab to advance Jesse at 4:29.

Rating: D. Is there a reason Micah has a job? He’s generic in the ring, no one cares about him, and I don’t remember a single thing about him. Jesse is starting to turn a very weak corner and it’s always good to have a heel that you want to see get punched in the face. At least they kept this quick as this group has been death since it started.

Group Future Four

Eli Drake – 7 points (0 matches remaining)

Jesse Godderz – 6 points (0 matches remaining)

Micah – 4 points (0 matches remaining)

Crimson – 0 points (0 matches remaining)

Recap of Group Tag Team.

Kurt Angle has been in the UK to hype up the Maximum Impact tour. He officially announced his retirement tour and says his run is over, possibly after this tour.

Group Tag Team Specialists: Robbie E. vs. Davey Richards

Winner advances. They trade armdrags to start and it’s an early standoff. Robbie’s armbar doesn’t work and Davey sends him to the floor, only to have Robbie switch places for a flip dives off the apron. Back in and Davey takes over with a clothesline and inverted Indian deathlock. Robbie fights up with some clotheslines to set up the Boom Drop for a close two, more or less sealing his fate. They trade rollups until Davey stomps onto Robbie’s chest for two more. Creeping Death advances Davey at 7:15.

Rating: C+. Gah I can’t stand Davey Richards. He’s fun when he’s out there with Edwards but when he gets into that martial arts and LET ME SHOW YOU NINTEEN DIFFERENT WAYS I CAN KICK YOU stuff, he’s one of the most annoying guys I’ve ever seen. Robbie would have been a fun story but we’ll go with dull and overrated instead.

Group Tag Team Specialists

Matt Hardy – 9 points (0 matches remaining)

Davey Richards – 4 point (0 matches remaining)

Robbie E. – 3 points (0 matches remaining)

Eddie Edwards – 1 point (0 matches remaining)

Group Wild Card: Crazzy Steve vs. Kenny King

If Steve wins we have another playoff but if King wins, he advances. They start fast and trade armdrags to continue a popular trend tonight. Josh recaps the Menagerie until King elbows Steve in the face to take over. Steve goes up top and honks his horn before a springboard hurricanrana gets two. What appeared to be a Codebreaker is countered into the Royal Flush to advance King, who I don’t think is with the promotion anymore, at 4:29.

Rating: F. This is your weekly WHY AM I WATCHING THIS match as Steve is an unfunny comedy guy who is still around for reasons I’ll never understand. The only good thing here is the lack of having to watch Aiden O’Shea and Steve again in a playoff. This was the worst division by about a mile and one of the few I actually dreaded.

Group Wild Card

Mahabali Shera – 9 points (0 matches remaining)

Kenny King – 6 points (0 matches remaining)

Aiden O’Shea – 3 points (0 matches remaining)

Crazzy Steve – 0 points (0 matches remaining)

Aries says Lashley will have to be at his best to win.

Pope gives out more awards:

Move of the Tournament – Sky High to Kenny King

Upset of the Tournament – Brooke b. Gail Kim

Turkey of the Tournament – Grado vs. Rockstar Spud

Group Champions: Lashley vs. Austin Aries

Winner advances. Aries bounces off Lashley to start until a missile dropkick staggers Lashley a bit. That’s fine with Lashley as he throws Aries away and starts driving shoulders in the corner. Aries knees his way out of a delayed vertical suplex by knocking Lashley down to a knee but Lashley stands back up and suplexes him anyway. That is SCARY power.

Back from a break with Aries elbowing out of Lashley’s grip but getting caught in a belly to belly. The spear hits the post though and Aries follows up with a missile dropkick. Lashley slaps him out of the corner though and dead lifts him into a powerslam. I repeat my scary power line. The Last Chancery doesn’t get Aries anywhere so he goes with discus forearms. Lashley again powers out of the brainbuster and throws Aries over his head with a release German.

Aries avoids the spear but Lashley sidesteps the suicide dive. The match comes to a screeching halt as Aries is holding his arm with ninety seconds to go. Lashley finally clotheslines him down again as this thing JUST WON’T END. Aries grabs the Lash Chancery but Lashley makes the rope. Instead of standing around for the last thirty seconds, Aries tries a 450 but eats a spear to send Lashley on at 15:05.

Rating: B. At least it went out on a good match, even though Aries got stupid at the end after being smart most of the time. Lashley is the smart choice here since he actually works for TNA, but Aries was a nice surprise. I mean, I’m stupid for realizing he’s a surprise according to Josh but he’s a lot smarter than me after all.

Group Champions

Ethan Carter III – 7 points (0 matches remaining)

Lashley – 6 points (0 matches remaining)

Austin Aries – 4 points (0 matches remaining)

Mr. Anderson – 0 points (0 matches remaining)

We recap the night because just announcing the brackets isn’t interesting enough.

Here are the official round of sixteen brackets:

Ethan Carter III

DJZ

Bram

Davey Richards

Lashley

Drew Galloway

Mahabali Shera

Eli Drake

Tigre Uno

Gail Kim

Eric Young

Kenny King

Jesse Godderz

Awesome Kong

Bobby Roode

Matt Hardy

That could be worse, but they’ve handed Carter a spot in the semifinals.

Ethan Carter III is thrilled with his draw.

DJZ is ready…..for the three women he’s brought home.

Davey Richards is of course respectful about Bram.

Eli Drake is a smarmy jerk and says he won’t be dancing with Shera. I like him more and more every time I hear him talk.

Eric Young IS GOD.

Jesse Godderz isn’t worried about any man, woman or Kong.

Bobby Roode says his toughest test is coming.

Matt Hardy thinks no one is stopping him.

Overall Rating: C-. THANK GOODNESS! I am so incredibly sick of this tournament and listening to Josh talk about how IT’S SUDDEN DEATH IN THIS GROUP and having Pope call everyone daddy every ten seconds. I understand that there has been a lot of action in this and some of it has been really good. However, so much of it has been stuff like Jesse vs. Micah or King vs. Steve.

The good is indeed good but this concept going on for two straight months with NOTHING else would drive anyone crazy. If you want to have a tournament then fine, but don’t drag it out this long. The good is completely overshadowed by the bad and uninteresting, leaving you with two months of watchable wrestling that is completely wasted because it’s the same idea over and over and over. At least it’s over now and we can get on to……the actual tournament.

Results

Tigre Uno and DJZ b. Manik – Split legged corkscrew moonsault

Drew Galloway b. Rockstar Spud – Claymore

Bram b. Grado – Rollup

Jesse Godderz b. Micah – Adonis crab

Davey Richards b. Robbie E. – Creeping Death

Kenny King b. Crazzy Steve – Royal Flush

Lashley b. Austin Aries – Spear

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling – October 28, 2015: Uncomfortably Numb

Impact Wrestling
Date: October 28, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

We’re still in the early part of the World Title Series as we hit week #4. As much as I like the presentation as they treat this like a real sporting event, the lack of stories are making this hard for me to get into. There’s no reason for these people to be fighting other than they have some similar characteristics or backgrounds and they’ve been scheduled against each other. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s matches and see a preview of tonight’s matches.

The announcers do the same things the opening video did.

Ethan Carter III brags about kicking out of Lashley’s spear and promises to win the title.

Group Tag Team Specialists: Matt Hardy vs. Robbie E.

Feeling out process to start with Matt taking him into the corner for some right hands. Pope feels the need to explain why wins are important in this series and Josh talks about Robbie E. challenging Rob Gronkowski in a stupid idea that TNA never learns from. A corner clothesline puts Robbie on the floor but he comes back with a flip dive off the apron to put Matt in trouble.

Now Pope compares Robbie to Leif Cassady and Josh tries to convince me that Robbie might be World Champion, which continues to show the problem with this entire concept. Back in and the Side Effect from Matt and a middle rope clothesline from Robbie get two each but Matt picks it up with a big sitout powerbomb. The Twist of Fate is countered into the Boom Drop for a close two and that’s it for Robbie’s chance. Another Side Effect and another Twist of Fate give Matt the pin at 6:40.

Rating: C+. The match was good but totally uninteresting for a point that I’ve already beaten into the ground despite having probably another two months of qualifying matches before we get to the actual tournament. Robbie is a nice midcard guy but he’s on a long list of people who have no reason to be involved in a World Title competition.

Group Tag Team Specialists

Matt Hardy – 6 points (1 match remaining)

Robbie E. – 3 points (1 match remaining

Edwards – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Richards – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Gail promises to fight Awesome Kong hard again tonight. Can they just show us the Bound For Glory match so I can save some time?

Matt says Robbie is tough and he was impressed.

Robbie says he doesn’t feel like a loser because he earned some respect.

Back to Matt when Grado comes up to ask for a picture because he’s a fan. Is this their best version of comedy these days?

Video on Drew Galloway.

Group UK: Grado vs. Drew Galloway

Speaking of wastes of time. The bell doesn’t even ring for this match and Grado starts with a schoolboy trip for two. Drew throws him to the mat and starts chopping in the corner. Grado’s comedy seems to get on Drew’s nerves so he chops away and throws Grado again with a belly to belly for two.

Drew slaps him in the face and Grado comes back with some right hands and an elbow to the head. A Rock Bottom and Cannonball in the corner (called a flippy move by Pope) have Drew in trouble. Grado puts him in the Tree of Woe but Galloway sits up and grabs a German suplex, followed by the running boot (the Claymore according to Josh) for the pin at 4:39.

Rating: D+. Fine enough for a match with the most obvious ending in the whole competition so far. It would be nice if they would just put Spud and Galloway in the next round already because there’s almost no chance of anyone else moving forward. Then again that can’t be done because they’ve taped all this in advance and that’s what we’re getting like it or not. I’m sure I’m too stupid to understand why I want to watch a bunch of average and uninteresting matches though.

Group UK

Drew Galloway – 6 points (1 match remaining)

Rockstar Spud – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Bram – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Grado – 0 points (1 match remaining)

Clip of Gail Kim beating Awesome Kong at some show in the past that isn’t important enough to name.

We look back at the final destruction of the Revolution with Mahabali Shera pinning James Storm. Shera dances you know. They’re talking about it on Twitter.

Group Wild Card: Aiden O’Shea vs. Crazzy Steve

Oh come on. I know I probably complain about this Series too much but I’m supposed to want to watch this? They circle each other for about a minute to start until O’Shea slugs him down. O’Shea shoves him into the corner and takes a boxing stance as Steve is down on the mat. They head outside with Aiden punching him in the jaw but then punches the steps and post by mistake. Back in and Steve bites his hand, only to have Aiden take his head off with a clothesline for the pin at 4:47.

Rating: D. Well at least it was short. O’Shea is fine for a brawler and it’s a good idea to have him win here but this was such a waste of time. They couldn’t air something old and just give this a thirty second highlight package? This is the perfect example of a match that is making the Series feel like it’s taking forever to get through and a big reason why people aren’t very interested.

Group Wild Card

Mahabali Shera – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Kenny King – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Aiden O’Shea – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Crazzy Steve – 0 points (1 match remaining)

Abyss says the only thing that soothes him is gold because he’s a monster. He’ll win and you can take that to the bank.

Package on Storm vs. Abyss.

More clips of an unknown Gail Kim vs. Awesome Kong match.

Grado is confused after getting kicked in the head and doesn’t remember anything since the end of the match.

The announcers recap Group UK.

Group TNA Originals: Abyss vs. James Storm

Before the match, Storm suggests Abyss turn around and leave so Storm can win by countout. Abyss says he’s a monster and punches Storm in the face to get things going. A chokeslam doesn’t work but Storm charges into a side slam. Back from an early break with Storm diving off the steps and having to escape a chokeslam attempt. Storm loads a chair into the corner but Abyss sends him face first into it instead.

Hebner lets it go and Abyss drops a splash for two. It’s Janice time but it gets stuck in the turnbuckle like it does every single time, setting up Closing Time and a cowbell to the head for two. Storm goes up top and counters a superplex attempt into a powerbomb, followed by a top rope elbow for another near fall. Back up and Abyss no sells the Last Call and chokeslams Storm for two. With nothing else working, Storm spits beer into Abyss’ face and hits two more Last Calls for the pin at 11:00.

Rating: C-. Way too many weapons in here and I have no idea why they would let Abyss no sell Storm’s finisher. The match wasn’t the worst in the world but more than that it was nice to see a match where I didn’t know who was going to win. That’s been the big problem with tonight’s show: I either didn’t care who won or I could figure it out as soon as the names were announced. Good enough match here, despite how ridiculous they were with the weapons here.

Group TNA Originals

Bobby Roode – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Abyss – 3 points (1 match remaining)

James Storm – 3 points (1 match remaining

Eric Young – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Shera loves the World Title Series and thinks this is a cool opportunity to his family. He respects everyone else in the group and will do his talking in the ring. The upcoming India tour is a dream come true for him and he wants to return home with the World Title.

We preview next week with Shera vs. King, Brooke vs. Rayne and an interview with Jeff Hardy. A quick preview of the interview focuses on how happy he was to see Matt as World Champion.

Bobby Roode vs. Eric Young next week in another match we’ve seen way too many times.

Group X-Division: Tigre Uno vs. DJZ

Tigre takes him down by the arm to start as the announcers bicker over who is supposed to call play by play. DJZ sends the champ (no belt in sight here) into the corner for a running dropkick. We hit the chinlock on Tigre for a bit until he pops up and dropkicks DJZ outside. A corkscrew plancha connects for the champ (Josh: “Carpet defense!”) and they trade hurricanranas back inside. Tigre’s split legged corkscrew moonsault misses and DJZ’s tornado DDT is good for the pin at 6:43.

Rating: C. Fun enough match and we have yet ANOTHER group where three people have won a match each. Josh suggested that this might lead to an X-Division Title match, even though Tigre isn’t going to be defending the thing until around Christmas. You would think that would mean vacating the title due to a lack of defenses but that’s not the case around here.

Group X-Division

Tigre Uno – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Manik – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

DJZ – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Mandrews – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Clips from Kim vs. Kong at Bound For Glory 2015.

Group Knockouts: Gail Kim vs. Awesome Kong

In case you haven’t seen this one enough yet. Gail goes after the arm to start but gets sent out to the floor. Pope thinks these two are like twins. Because they know each other so well you see. A big clothesline sends Gail outside again and we take a break. Back with Gail fighting out of a camel clutch and scoring with a jawbreaker before kicking away at the legs.

Gail tries a Black Widow but opts to dropkick Kong to the floor and dive off the apron with a flying forearm. Back in and Gail’s cross body is countered into a World’s Strongest Slam for two we as have under five minutes to go (meaning their clock is way off this week). The chokeslam is countered into a DDT and a high cross body gets two for Gail. Kong loads up a powerbomb but gets caught in a hurricanrana to give Kim the pin at 13:58.

Rating: C. Well they certainly had another match. This is considered one of the greatest rivalries in TNA history and it’s really just ok. Yeah they had some awesome matches about nine years ago but I haven’t seen them do anything above average in years now. This was a decent enough match but nothing that makes me want to see them fight again.

Group Knockouts

Brooke – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Gail Kim – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Awesome Kong – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Madison Rayne – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Overall Rating: D. The show is over and I’m totally numb. I don’t have any feelings about it and I really didn’t for the two hours the show was on the air. The wrestling was adequate for the most part and there were times where I didn’t know who was going to win, but I didn’t care. These shows (and we’re just getting started with them) are offering no reason for me to care and it’s getting worse every week. It’s really hard to drive a show on pure wrestling and this is the proof of why.

For two hours tonight, I sat here listening to Josh and Pope do the same analysis of what it means for someone to be two matches in with no points or how confident they must be to have six points and only one match to go. The groups are the exact same idea with different names included and if you’ve watched TNA for more than five minutes you can pretty much pick the field of sixteen from here. I’m sure the TNA super fans will have some excuse for why the show bombed like the World Series, the Republican debate etc., because there’s ALWAYS something else on that interferes with TNA.

Maybe next week we can cancel all other TV and air Impact on every channel. Then people can be collectively bored by this concept with no individual stories and no real reason to watch until around Christmas because this company spent years putting on boring TV and keep getting canceled but we’re supposed to treat them like some kind of plucky victim that never did anything wrong. This is boring television and the audience tuning out is proving it, no matter what excuses TNA’s diehard fans have.

Results

Matt Hardy b. Robbie E. – Twist of Fate

Drew Galloway b. Grado – Claymore

Aiden O’Shea b. Crazzy Steve – Clothesline

James Storm b. Abyss – Last Call

DJZ b. Tigre Uno – Tornado DDT

Gail Kim b. Awesome Kong – Hurricanrana

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling – October 14, 2015: Deal With It

Impact Wrestling
Date: October 14, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

It’s the second week of the World Title Series (love the effort that went into that name) and tonight we get to see the other four groups to complete the field. It should be interesting to see how they can fit in this many people given their roster limitations, meaning we might be in for some extra surprises. The action last week was good so hopefully it continues in that direction this week. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the World Title situation and last week. This still doesn’t make the whole thing feel any less messy and overcomplicated to get to the conclusion of a tournament.

It’s time to announce the new groups.

Group Tag Team Specialists

Matt Hardy

Eddie Edwards

Davey Richards

Robbie E.

Group Future Four

Jesse Godderz

Mica

Eli Drake

Crimson

Group X-Division

Tigre Uno

DJZ

Mandrews

Manik

Group TNA Originals

James Storm

Bobby Roode

Abyss

Eric Young

Yes Manik and not TJP because this was taped months ago and new storylines are erased.

We get a challenge from Robbie E. for NFL superstar Rob Gronkowski for some point in the future. Ignore him saying that he’ll beat Gronkowski worse than the Dallas Cowboys as that game already happened.

Group Tag Team Specialists: Matt Hardy vs. Davey Richards

So it’s Group Rockers. Davey takes him down to start and works on a leg lock but lets it go just as quickly. We get a chat from the round table discussion where Davey is pretty passive about the whole thing but Matt wants the title back. They head to the apron with Matt grabbing a quick Side Effect to send Davey to the floor.

Back in and Matt hooks a sleeper but Davey fights back with a jawbreaker to knock Matt to the floor, followed by a suicide dive. Josh: “Of course the ending to Bound For Glory has been trending for two weeks.” Back in and Davey fires off kicks until Matt grabs the Side Effect for two more. Matt dives into a kick to the ribs but Davey misses a top rope double stomp, setting up the Twist of Fate to give Matt the pin at 9:06.

Rating: C+. Nice match here with Matt doing his normal stuff and Davey doing all of his kicks. Matt would have been fine for a token title reign but giving him one in the spot they did it and the quick fallout are going to make it much more infamous than a feel good moment. You almost have to expect Matt to advance into the round of sixteen, likely winding up against Galloway or Carter down the line.

Group Tag Team Specialists

Matt Hardy – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Robbie E. – 0 points (3 matches remaining)

Eddie Edwards – 0 points (3 matches remaining)

Davey Richards – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

We take a look at Beer Money splitting and Roode taking the World Title from Storm.

Group X-Division argued about who is the least likely to advance. Bart Simpson jokes are made.

Pope predicts DJZ and Tigre Uno advance from the group for his fearless predictions.

Group Wildcard: Aiden O’Shea vs. Kenny King

The announcers act like O’Shea is an unknown who had never been seen before Bound For Glory. We go split screen for the round table (with the roundtable being far bigger than the match) and come back with King getting two off a sunset flip as Bradley’s pants have split. A spinning kick to the face drops O’Shea but the Royal Flush is countered. Instead it’s a springboard Blockbuster to give Kenny the pin at 4:44.

Rating: C-. So Shelton Benjamin pinned Sheamus. A good chunk of the match was spent on the round table where O’Shea thought King could win because he’s handsome. I actually like the idea of O’Shea as there’s always room for a big power brawler. No he isn’t going anywhere but it’s nice to have him around.

Group Wildcard

Kenny King – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Crazzy Steve – 0 points (3 matches remaining)

Mahabali Shera – 0 points (3 matches remaining)

Aiden O’Shea – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Eric Young says he’s exposing Abyss for the worthless freak that he is tonight.

Davey Richards says he lost a fair match to a better man tonight.

Here’s your latest filler: we see a group and Pope swipes right if he thinks the wrestler wins or swipes left if he thinks they lose. Abyss and Roode to win and Young and Storm to lose.

Group TNA Originals argue over who is eliminated. Storm and Abyss are annoyed over the Revolution fallout.

Group TNA Originals: Eric Young vs. Abyss

Abyss splashes him in the corner to start but Eric bites the hand to block a chokeslam as we take a break. Back with the brawl heading to the break and Abyss sending him into the steps to take over. Young starts choking a lot but dives into a chokeslam attempt. Abyss has to settle for a Samoan drop for two, followed by the chokeslam for the same. Janice is brought in but Hebner takes it away, allowing Eric to get in a low blow and the top rope elbow for two. The Black Hole Slam gives Abyss the quick pin at 10:39.

Rating: D+. This is the match where the reality of this Series sat in for me. Yeah the concept isn’t bad and they’ve organized it really well, but this is probably all we’re getting for the next two to three months: mediocre matches that only exist for the sake of the tournament with no one interested in doing anything outside of the ordinary. Such is life in TNA.

Group TNA Originals

Abyss – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

James Storm – 0 points (3 matches remaining)

Bobby Roode – 0 points (3 matches remaining)

Eric Young – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Ethan Carter III, on a bad Skype connection, says he was robbed of the title at Bound For Glory. He’s going to win and isn’t worried about fighting Lashley next week. This tournament doesn’t end until he wins it. Carter is really good at these closing lines.

Young says everyone is against him but he’ll win in the end.

Abyss says tonight was Young’s night. Roode and Storm will have their nights.

Group Tag Team Specialist: Eddie Edwards vs. Robbie E.

Feeling out process to start until Eddie gets in a running knee to the face. Robbie sends him out to the floor and takes Eddie down with a nice dive. A legdrop gets two on Eddie as we hear Matt Hardy picking Robbie E. as the least likely to advance. They slug it out on the floor until Eddie takes over with some chops, only to walk into the Boom Drop for two. So much for Robbie’s chances. The backpack Stunner out of the corner gets the same for Eddie but Robbie grabs a reverse DDT for the clean pin at 5:49.

Rating: C+. This was actually a lot better than I was expecting and I like the idea of Robbie getting a win here. I can’t imagine he goes anywhere in this thing but it’s cool to see him going somewhere and not being treated as a joke for a change. Edwards continues to be far better than Richards in just about every way.

Group Tag Team Specialists

Matt Hardy – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Robbie E. – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Eddie Edwards – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Davey Richards – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Eddie shakes his hand post match.

More on Roode vs. Storm’s history.

Roode is proud to be King of the Mountain Champion but tonight he’s winning because he wants it more.

Robbie E. says he’s a good singles wrestler in the Tag Team Specialists group.

Edwards is surprised but he’d love a rematch.

Group Future Four gets annoyed at Eli Drake who completely outclasses the other three. He speaks a very basic style but comes off like a really good, arrogant heel.

Group Wildcard: Mahabali Shera vs. Crazzy Steve

Shera still has the Khoya trunks and doesn’t do the dance. Some of the fans do, but I’m assuming it was clipped from another show. Shera powers him around to start but Steve sends him into the corner and gets in some forearms to the back. Not that it matters as a quick Sky High gives Shera the pin at 2:35.

Group Wildcard

Kenny King – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Mahabali Shera – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Crazzy Steve – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Aiden O’Shea – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

More Roode vs. Storm history, this time including the Revolution, which had nothing to do with Roode.

Group TNA Originals: James Storm vs. Bobby Roode

Roode pounds him into the corner to start before a headlock takes Storm to the mat and us to a break. Back with Storm taking Roode out of the corner but walking into a dropkick. They fight to the floor as Josh tells us we can get all the details on the tournament on the TNA website. Then, if you’re lucky, he’ll call you out as an internet nerd next week. Eye of the Storm gets two and we hit the chinlock on Roode.

Five minutes to go. Roode fights up and gets two off a spinebuster. The Blockbuster gets the same but Storm grabs a Backstabber for two of his own. Storm tries to bring in a chair but it’s just a distraction so he can use the cowbell for two. The Last Call misses and Roode grabs a fisherman’s suplex for the pin at 14:40.

Rating: C. Well at least it wasn’t a time limit draw. It’s another match between two guys who have fought a hundred times and Roode wins again, as he’s done so many times over the years. Storm isn’t likely to win as he’s already out of the company at the moment, but it would be nice to see him get one last run.

Group TNA Originals

Abyss – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Bobby Roode – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

James Storm – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Eric Young – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Overall Rating: D+. This is all we’re going to get until about January. That makes me dread this show more and more every week, even if it’s not the worst concept in the world. The wrestling wasn’t terrible tonight but I have almost no interest in sitting through ten or so weeks of this stuff, hoping that something makes me care about an individual match with almost no story to it. It’s all we’re getting though and I can’t wait to see the ratings when the fans catch on to what they’re stuck with for so long.

Results

Matt Hardy b. Davey Richards – Twist of Fate

Kenny King b. Aiden O’Shea – Springboard Blockbuster

Abyss b. Eric Young – Black Hole Slam

Robbie E. b. Eddie Edwards – Reverse DDT

Mahabali Shera b. Crazzy Steve – Sky High

Bobby Roode b. James Storm – Fisherman’s suplex

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


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Impact Wrestling – August 12, 2015: It Had To Start Somewhere

Impact Wrestling
Date: August 12, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

They’re here! Tonight is the first time we’ll be seeing Global Force Wrestling talent (other than the Jarretts that is) on TNA TV. With Bully Ray out of action, Jeff Jarrett has offered to be in charge tonight and have the GFW talent come in and help out for a night. I’m sure this won’t go badly for TNA whatsoever. Let’s get to it.

The Jarretts and Global Force wrestlers arrive.

We open with a recap of how Jeff got to be in charge tonight and run down the card of interpromotional matches, including a King of the Mountain match for the King of the Mountain Title.

Here are the Jarretts to open things up with Jeff being so thankful that he answered that call from TNA management. He left TNA on a positive note and has founded Global Force Wrestling, which is about competing at the highest level. Everyone can connect to competing and tonight is all about creating a new rivalry. Tonight is about the best of the best squaring off and Jeff runs down the card, including a dream match between Trevor Lee/Brian Myers (Curt Hawkins) vs. the Wolves. That’s not a dream match dude.

The main event is the King of the Mountain match for the vacant title, but here’s Eric Young to protest. Young says he doesn’t care about the fans but declares himself God because he’s decided the fate of the World Title not once but twice. He took a war hero’s leg because he felt like it, so Jeff can be the promoter and bookerman and put himself in a match against Eric for the King of the Mountain Title.

Jeff says he isn’t a wrestler anymore so he won’t be defending the title here. This title isn’t just going to be defended in Global Force or TNA, because it’s going to be defended around the world. If Young wants in on the first King of the Mountain match, he’s in. Young is happy but beats down Jeff anyway, but here’s the GFW roster for the save. The TNA roster comes out and it’s a big brawl. This was a decent segment, but it would have been better had we not heard the card five minutes earlier.

Post break the GFW guys are all upset but Jeff comes in to say this isn’t an invasion and they need to just go win their matches.

Lei’D Tapa vs. Awesome Kong

Josh acts like Tapa is someone most of us wouldn’t know. For something that makes sense, we don’t know her big manager Royal Red. Red is nice enough to introduce himself (“My name is Royal Red”) before going on about how awesome Tapa is. They ram into each other to start with Kong getting the better of it off a corner splash, followed by a cross body for two.

Pope brings up Barbarian being Tapa’s uncle as Kong gets two off a splash. Tapa comes back with a Samoan drop for two but Kong fires off strikes to the head, capped off by the spinning backfist. A chokeslam drops Lei’D and a clothesline puts her on the floor. Kong gets pulled outside as well and it’s a double countout at 4:42.

Rating: D+. Well that happened. I still have no idea why I’m supposed to care about Tapa (I mean, other than being Barbarian’s niece of course) and this was just two big girls slamming into each other. Why that’s supposed to be appealing to me isn’t clear, as it came off as a lame match that we’ve seen about a dozen times between the likes of Kamala and King Kong Bundy, though not as memorable.

PJ Black (Justin Gabriel) and Drew Galloway are in the King of the Mountain match.

Black is ready for the match but has to take a phone call.

Drew Galloway is going to stand up for TNA and himself.

Here’s Bobby Roode to talk about how insane everything is here, but he’s ticked off. Roode isn’t happy with not being in the main event already, so if Jarrett has a problem with him, come say it to his face. First though, Roode would like Rockstar Spud to come out here. Roode says Spud must be proud as a peacock after his win last week but Spud looks worried. Last week, Spud showed that anyone can defeat anyone at any time, “even little old you Spuddy.”

Spud doesn’t think he’d ever be here with Bobby Roode and have him be such a condescending jerk. The Rockstar is tired of being told he shouldn’t be here, because he said he’d be a wrestler and then he did it. Then he said he’d be a champion in TNA and he did it. Then he said he’d cash in the X-Division Title and fight for the World Title and he did it. Roode is mad about Aries being gone but don’t take it out on Spud, because Roode is coming off like a bully that takes kids’ lunch money.

Roode doesn’t like Spud talking like that and says he’d take Spud out where Aries failed. That’s enough for Spud who drills Roode in the face, only to get his head taken off by a clothesline. Roode chokes Spud with his shirt and beats him on the floor until we go to a break. Good segment here as Roode continues to be as talented as ever and Spud overachieves like few I’ve ever seen.

After a break, Jarrett and Roode yell at each other in the back until Roode says Jeff isn’t his boss anymore and tells him to get out of his face.

Jesse Godderz vs. Lashley

The winner is in the King of the Mountain match. Godderz won’t let Lashley pose on the ropes so Lashley press slams him with ease. Jesse bails to the floor to avoid the spear as the announcers talk about Ronda Rousey. Back in and the running shoulder in the corner has Jesse in trouble and a delayed vertical suplex with one arm makes things even worse.

Jesse gets in a nice dropkick and drive some forearms into the face. He makes the mistake of trying a hold on the mat though, allowing Lashley to easily pick Jesse up and throw him down. Some rolling suplexes have Jesse reeling but the spear is countered by a powerslam for two. The Adonis Lock is easily countered though and the spear sends Lashley to the main event at 5:45.

Rating: C-. This could have been much worse, but I don’t see much for Godderz after this, which is a shame as he was finding a nice groove for himself with the Adonis gimmick. That being said, this is a good use for guys like you. You don’t has to put main eventers like Lashley against other main event talent all the time and Jesse isn’t really crushed by the loss. Hopefully he bounces back, but I wouldn’t get my hopes up.

We recap last week’s Full Metal Mayhem match with Ethan Carter III retaining over Matt Hardy.

Drew Galloway is unconscious in the back, in the same place where Bully Ray was laid out.

Dixie Carter is with the Jarretts……wait if she’s here, WHY IS SHE NOT IN CHARGE??? The three of them think someone is trying to take down the companies working together. Jeff will fix the main event.

Here are Ethan Carter III and Tyrus with something to say. Ethan talks about this title representing a culmination of his life’s work and that it proves he’s better than anyone in any locker room across the world. Last week he defended the title in a car crash after Matt Hardy caught lightning in a bottle (read as he won a match thrown together as a #1 contenders match when he backdropped someone through a table).

Ethan denies sucking because he defends this title in God Mode. Cue Matt Hardy because losing in his signature match isn’t enough of a reason to end this story. Matt says Ethan has a claim of being the best in the world right now, but he won’t take his eyes off Carter until he wins the title. No one knows more about dusting yourself off and marching forward than Matt Hardy because he will not die.

Ethan respects Matt for hitting him harder than anyone else ever has, but the people will get to decide if Matt gets another shot. This ends as you would expect, with Matt having a belt bounced off his face. I have no idea why this is still going, but the more I think about it, who else does Carter have to face? Everyone else has left the company or he’s already beaten them.

Taryn Terrell tells the Dollhouse to beat Gail Kim in a cage match.

Christopher Mordetzky (Chris Masters) is in the King of the Mountain match for no given reason and says he’ll win.

Brian Myers/Trevor Lee vs. Wolves

Non-title and Lee is an indy regular who looks like a caveman. Davey and Myers (who looks a bit like AJ Styles with bad hair) start things off and the Wolves quickly take over with their precision double teaming. The Wolves send them to the floor for a pair of baseball slides and suicide dives as this is one sided so far. Back in and Lee gets in a shot on Eddie to take over, allowing Myers to slap on a chinlock.

A nice double hurricanrana puts Myers and Lee down, setting up the hot tag to Davey. We get the eternally stupid “dropkick an opponent to make him DDT his own partner because HE DOESN’T LET GO” spot from Davey before he slugs it out with Lee. Myers plants Davey with a nice Downward Spiral into a German suplex from Lee, only to have the throw into the kick and powerbomb/backstabber combo take out Trevor for the pin at 6:24.

Rating: C. The match was fine but are Lee and Myers really the best team GFW has? They were decent enough but it’s just Curtis Hawkins and some guy. That’s Jarrett’s idea of a dream match? It’s good enough as a stand alone match but if this was supposed to be some big clash, they’re in major trouble.

Lashley says of course he can win tonight but he’s also here to defend TNA, which no one is talking about.

Sonjay Dutt vs. Tigre Uno

Non-title. The fans are behind the former TNA mainstay Dutt. Tigre gets in a quick kick to start and ties up Dutt’s arms into his legs, setting up a running dropkick on the mat. Back up and Dutt hurricanranas Tigre out to the floor and does it again on the outside. A springboard splash gets two for Sonjay and it’s time to go for the mask. That goes nowhere so Dutt takes him to the top and poses, allowing Tigre to roll through into a sunset flip for the pin at 3:36.

Rating: D+. As I said earlier, well that happened. It’s another three minute X-Division match with some decent flips and dives but no real reason to care about the match. They’re building Tigre up into something, but there needs to be either some more time or an actual story instead of these one off matches.

Jeff comes up to Ethan in the back to praise him, but Ethan claims it’s a sham. Jarrett suggests that Ethan watch the main event, because the winner gets a title shot next week.

Mr. Anderson says the microphone doesn’t define him but it does define his success. It was on that very spot where Bram attacked him, but he’ll go home when he’s ready. Today isn’t that day, because next week it’s a microphone match, which means mic on a pole minus the pole.

Next week is Turning Point. This would be their second special in three weeks.

King of the Mountain Title: PJ Black vs. Chris Mordetzky vs. Lashley vs. Eric Young vs. ???

The title is vacant coming in and the mystery replacement is…..Robbie E. The rules here are complicated, as it’s a reverse ladder match where you have to hang the belt in order to win. However, before you can do that, you have to qualify by getting a pin or submission. Whoever is pinned or submits is sent to a penalty box for two minutes, meaning there could be some strategy involved.

Lashley spears Young down for a pin in less than thirty seconds to qualify and send Young to the penalty box. Black does the same to Chris off a top rope sunset flip to make this a three way for now. Lashley cleans house but charges into the post, allowing E. to nail him with a top rope clothesline. Another one from PJ looks to get a pin but Black and Robbie get in a fight.

The Boom Drop is enough to pin Black and Robbie is eligible, only to get speared down to give Lashley another pin. Lashley is the only person not in the box at the moment but Young and Chris get out (after more than two minutes) to keep Lashley from winning in four minutes. Back from a break with Lashley being sent to the floor, allowing Mordetzky to roll Young up for the pin, meaning only Young isn’t eligible.

Mordetzky puts Lashley in the full nelson but Robbie dives off the box to take them both down in a completely unnecessary spot. Robbie and Black chop it out on the floor and Young gets out of the cage as we have a ladder brought in. Young piledrives Robbie on the steps for the pin and all five are now eligible. Black stops Mordetzky from climbing the ladder but Lashley comes in and cleans house, only to have Young stop his climb.

Eric starts cleaning house with the title but Black springboards in ala Shelton Benjamin for a slugout on top of the ladder. Lashley spears Young down but Black would rather hit the 450 (meaning knees to the chest) on Lashley before climbing up and hanging the title for the win at 14:58.

Rating: C. Black winning is a nice surprise but he comes off as the guy that loses the title to the first big name to be champion. I’m still not a fan of this match as it’s such a mess but at least they had something big for the ending. It’s also nice to have GFW actually win something for a change tonight, but this wasn’t anything great.

Ethan comes out to pose with his title to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Where do I even start? First and foremost: the GFW contingent mainly consists of Sonjay Dutt, Chris Masters, Curt Hawkins and Justin Gabriel. I know GFW doesn’t have the world’s strongest roster, but good night that’s the best they can do on the first time they’re on the national stage?

Other than that, the main problem here is the matches not being very good. The wrestling wasn’t bad, but it’s a bunch of WWE rejects/former TNA guys out there fighting what’s left of the TNA roster. How is this supposed to be interesting to anyone but the rosters themselves? This felt like a desperate shot at saving the company and it really, really didn’t work. The show was better than some of TNA’s previous offerings due to just being different, but this is far from the answer to their many prayers.

Results

Awesome Kong vs. Lei’D Tapa went to a double countout

Lashley b. Jesse Godderz – Spear

Wolves b. Brian Myers/Trevor Lee – Powerbomb/Backstabber combination to Lee

Tigre Uno b. Sonjay Dutt – Sunset flip

PJ Black b. Lashley, Robbie E., Chris Mordetzky and Eric Young – Black hung the title