Monday Night Raw – January 28, 2002: The History of the WWF

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 28, 2002
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Attendance: 9,034
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re inching closer to No Way Out and I don’t think we have any matches announced for it yet. Granted it’s not like it matters as that’s just a stop before we get to HHH’s moment at Wrestlemania which I’m sure everyone is thrilled about. The main event tonight is Austin vs. Angle which sounds like a #1 contenders match to me. Oh and in case you were wondering what Vince’s announcement was, keep reading. Let’s get to it.

Kane vs. Big Show

We immediately open with a match and Big Show runs him over quickly. A clothesline puts Kane down again and an elbow drop gets two. Kane fights up and wins a brief slugout, only to get kicked in the face. That’s fine by Kane as he pops up and slams Show, only to go up and jump into the chokeslam for two. Show is STUNNED so he tries another chokeslam but Kane hits his version first for the fast pin. Not horrible actually.

Flair is in the office when the APA comes in. They yell about the people Vince is bringing in (I’m saving the reveal for later) and say these people are poison. Bradshaw wants a fight right now but the guys haven’t debuted yet.

Goldust quotes the Usual Suspects and talks about presumably Rock some more.

We get another clip from the Rumble of Maven eliminating Undertaker and the beating that followed. Since Maven was never eliminated from the Rumble, Maven gets a world title match tonight.

Jericho says he granted Maven the title match tonight because he’s a fighting champion. However, why are the people talking about Maven when Jericho got the biggest win of his career at the same Rumble? Tonight Jericho is going to watch Angle and Austin beat each other up and then at No Way Out, he’ll pick up the pieces.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. William Regal

Regal is defending. Van Dam jumps Regal during the brass knuckles search and the fans go NUTS. Rob rams him into the steps before we head inside for the first time. There’s the stepover kick for two on Regal followed by the standing moonsault for the same. Not that it matters are Regal kicks Rob low for the LAME DQ.

Regal shoves the referee down and leaves with his belt. Rob goes after him though and pounds away but cue the Dudleys to beat down Van Dam. Edge makes the save for no apparent reason. I smell a tag match here. Regal comes back in and lays out Edge with the knuckles.

Stephanie comes in to yell at Flair for making HHH vs. Booker later tonight. Apparently it was Papa McMahon that made the match, not Flair. Ok then.

Lance Storm/Christian vs. Godfather/Diamond Dallas Page

Apparently Page is a client of Godfather’s escort service. Godfather and Storm start things off and a big back elbow puts Lance down. Christian pulls the rope down to stop Godfather and send him to the floor. Back inside a Storm dropkick gets two and Christian comes in to stomp away for a bit. A double Canadian suplex gets two and it’s back to Storm for a legdrop for two. Christian gets another two count but starts having a fit. Not hot tag brings in DDP who cleans part of the house. Christian goes up but gets crotched, allowing Godfather to hit the running splash, followed by a Diamond Cutter to Storm for the pin.

Rating: D. This came and went and was nothing of note. Godfather didn’t fit at all in the new WWF and it was very clear in a hurry. Page didn’t work in WWE either as there was no connection with the fans. Page grew up in WCW before the fans’ eyes, but here he’s a guy who used to be a big deal in WCW and that’s it. That isn’t going to work and never has before.

Vince is here and is almost in a trance. The limo was late to the show so the driver apologizes, but Vince just taps him on the arm and walks away. That’s not normal McMahon behavior to put it mildly.

Here’s Flair as we’re somehow in Flair Country again this week. He talks about beating Vince at the Rumble a few weeks ago, which led to Vince having a meltdown on Smackdown. The show saw Vince sitting in a chair for the entire show, talking about how he was going to destroy his own creation. At the end of the night, Vince spun around, revealing the letters N.W.O. on the back of his chair.

That’s who people have been worried about all night long and that’s who Flair wants to stop from coming. Therefore, Flair is going to appeal to Vince’s pride by showing a video he’s had made: The History of the WWF. Usually I don’t show videos in my reviews, but I can’t describe how good this is, as it covers EVERYTHING of note in company history. Check this out.

Flair asks Vince to come out and face him and here’s the (half) boss. Ric goes on a rant and a half about how Vince must be out of his mind to think of bringing those guys here. If Vince wants to beat up Flair, go right ahead if that keeps those guys out. If ANYONE in that video means anything to Vince, he shouldn’t do it.

Vince grabs the mic and says he wants 100% control of his company and he wants Flair out. If Flair sells Vince his stock back at the price Flair paid for it, no NWO. Vince gives him a few days to think about it, but if Flair says no then the poison of the NWO enters the WWF and destroys the company. Vince says that if his company is going down, everyone is going with him but he will be the last one to survive. AWESOME segment here and I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I want to see more of this stuff.

Nidia is at WWF New York and is excited about Maven’s title shot.

WWF World Title: Maven vs. Chris Jericho

Maven finally has some trunks. Jericho turns his back on Maven to start but gets jumped for his efforts. A decent dropkick gets two for the rookie and Jericho is STUNNED. They head to the floor where Maven gets his chest lit up by chops. Back inside and Jericho knocks him down before taking off a buckle pad. Maven escapes the Walls and launches Jericho into the exposed buckle for a VERY hot two. There’s a small package for the same and the fans are losing their minds here. Not that it matters though as the Walls are put on and Maven wisely taps out.

Rating: C+. Considering Maven debuted less than a year ago with NO seasoning, this was pretty awesome stuff. Those near falls were really close and the fans were totally into it. The one perk of having such a weak champion is that people buy into the idea that anyone can beat him, even someone like Maven. Not horrible by any account.

Post match heeeeeeeeere’s Taker for the big beatdown. He beats on Maven in the Tree of Woe and does the throat crush with a chair. Jericho is lounging back on commentary during the beating.

Taker threatens to make Coach’s teeth into a necklace if he says the name Maven in Taker’s presence again. The Dead Man goes on a rant about Maven and says that Maven is going to keep paying the price until it’s decided that the bill is paid up. As for Rock, it’s none of his business who eliminated Undertaker. Taker says he doesn’t sing and dance, and he won’t be disrespected by Rock.

Jazz finds Billy and Chuck “stretching”. Apparently groin stretches are next so Jazz leaves.

Stephanie yells about HHH’s match but HHH doesn’t seem to care who made the match with Booker. Oh and why did HHH take off his wedding ring for a match? HHH: “Because I’m wrestling.” Silly question, easy answer.

Trish Stratus/APA vs. Jazz/Billy and Chuck

The girls start and Jazz hits a big clothesline to take over. A dropkick sends Jazz out to the floor but she comes right back with a double chickenwing lift. Off to Chuck who shoves Trish down before it’s off to Bradshaw for a whooping. Chuck pounds away in the corner but Bradshaw shrugs it off and brings in Faarooq. A spinebuster puts Chuck down and everything breaks down. Trish tries a rana on Chuck but gets powerbombed down for two. Chuck made sure to not go chest to chest on her in a funny bit.

Rating: D. This went nowhere at all other than a funny comedy spot at the end. The tag division was dead at this point and I honestly can’t think of who the champions are here. Oh wait it’s a team that’s been together for all of six weeks and who won’t team together again after losing the titles. Nothing to see here.

Angle tells the fans WHAT: he’s going to No Way Out.

Booker T vs. HHH

They fight over a top wristlock to start and HHH takes him down to he mat where he can pound away. Now to mix it up, HHH pounds away in the corner, only to get dropped face first onto the buckle. Booker misses a spin kick and charges into a spinebuster to put both guys down. The jumping knee to the face staggers Booker and a neckbreaker gets two.

We head to the floor and HHH nails him with a clothesline before sending him back into the ring. Here’s Christian of all people to lay out HHH to give Booker a two count. There’s a facebuster to put Booker back down as Stephanie runs out to slap Christian in the face. HHH saves his wife but Booker rams them together, allowing him to roll up the Game and use a handful of trunks for the surprise pin.

Rating: D+. It’s pretty clear that new HHH isn’t nearly as good as the old one was. This was almost all punching and signature stuff before the screwy ending. Apparently Christian and HHH had some kind of interaction on Smackdown which is fine for a reason for the interference here. HHH would take a LONG time to get back into form.

HHH went OFF on Stephanie during the break and threw her out of the locker room.

Kurt Angle vs. Steve Austin

Winner gets the title shot at No Way Out. As is his custom, Austin starts pounding away on the floor before hitting a powerslam for two in the ring. There’s the Thesz Press and Angle is in trouble. Scratch that as Angle comes right back with a belly to belly overhead suplex for two. A hard whip sends Austin into the corner but he comes back with that whip spinebuster of his for a delayed two.

Angle comes back by rolling Germans but Austin comes back by sitting him on the top and chopping away. A top rope superplex takes Angle down for two and they head to the floor. Back in and a low blow puts Austin down. Angle slides in a chair but Austin intercepts it, only to hold his cool in a surprising turn of events.

Steve loads up the Stunner but gets shoved into the referee. Angle lays him out with the chair but only gets two when the referee is back up. There’s the ankle lock but Austin finally grabs the rope. The Angle Slam gets two as Austin gets his foot on the rope but Kurt of course things he won. The referee tells him what happened but he walks into a Stunner to send Austin to No Way Out.

Rating: B. Austin and Angle were guys that had great chemistry together and they showed it again here. As I’ve said before, Austin’s in ring abilities are often forgotten, which is a shame because he’s an excellent performer inside the ring. This worked very well and it made you believe Jericho was in real trouble when we get to the PPV.

Post match Jericho charges in but gets a Stunner of his own.

Overall Rating: B. This is a show where what was weak was quite weak but what was good was OUTSTANDING. The history video is as good as you will ever see and I’d love to see an updated one for the modern era. Either way, this is pretty easily the show of the year so far with some excellent stuff and mostly short bad stuff. That’s a great help to the show and it worked quite well.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Monday Night Raw – February 18, 2013: Wrestlemania Is Taking Shape

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 18, 2013
Location: Cajundome, Lafayette, Louisiana
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

Elimination Chamber was last night and the most important thing is we have our title matches at Mania (presumably) set. Rock is defending against Cena while Del Rio is going to defend against Swagger, assuming nothing is added to either match. Other than that Cena/Ryback/Sheamus were upset by the Shield in their six man tag. Tonight we continue the build to Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.

We open with clips from last night, highlighting all of the major matches.

Here’s Cena to open the show. He talks about how ten months ago, the location for Wrestlemania 29 was announced, but only last night did the sign start to mean something. Cena mentions the two world title matches that are set, but here’s CM Punk with a rebuttal. He admits that Rock beat him last night….if you ignore Rock hitting a referee and Punk having him pinned for about 18 seconds. Cena says that for once this isn’t about CM Punk and he has to sit this one out.

Punk talks about how he was champion for 434 days so he should get another chance. Cena earned his shot in one single match and eliminated about four people to go to Wrestlemania. Also, Rock has already beaten Cena, so why would we want to see it again? Punk asks Cena to walk away and get out of his life but Cena of course says no.

John says Punk should be smart enough to know that Punk isn’t stupid enough to think Cena would hand away a golden ticket. Cena says Punk isn’t going to be handed a golden ticket, but Punk can earn it. If CM can beat him right here and right now, Punk can have the title show. Punk of course takes him up on it….just not here. Instead he wants it next week and Cena says cool.

We hear about Shield winning their six man tag last night.

Sheamus is talking about the loss last night but Ryback keeps walking in front of him. Getting annoyed, Sheamus yells at Ryback and suggests that he’s a mindless neanderthal like everyone says. A fight is about to break out but Jericho breaks it up. Chris says this is like the NWO or the Nexus and says they have to band together. Jericho proposes another six man tag and the monsters are in.

Sin Cara vs. Mark Henry

During Henry’s entrance we get some clips of Henry’s Hall of Pain. Henry pushes Cara down and stands on his back before hitting a running splash in the corner. Cara hits a quick kick to the head but a second is blocked and countered into a powerslam. The World’s Strongest Slam ends this at 1:33.

Post match Henry is beating up Cara even more but Khali comes out for the save. Despite Henry regularly destroying Khali in the past, Henry walks away without a fight. He also dances to Khali’s music a bit in a funny visual.

We get a clip of the end of the US Title match last night. Miz gets another rematch tonight in a No DQ match.

The Miz vs. Antonio Cesaro

This is No DQ and I believe non-title. Miz attacks quickly to start, but we head to the floor where Cesaro rams the injured shoulder into the post. The champion brings in a chair and a kendo stick to pound away on the badly injured Miz. After a fast rollup gets two for Miz, a kendo stick shot gets the same for Antonio. Cesaro uses the chair on the arm before putting on a fast arm hold. The bad shoulder is sent into a chair wedged in the corner but Cesaro misses a charge into said chair, hitting it knee first. That and the Figure Four are enough to give Miz the win at 3:40.

Rating: C-. I’m really not wild on the idea of Miz getting destroyed like that and then getting a fluke win out of nowhere. The match was way too short for a submission loss for the US Champion, especially to a guy like Miz. This clearly is setting up a rematch later on for the title, but why? Miz has lost twice, one of which was clean. Losing twice then winning twice doesn’t make you look good. It makes you look even.

We get a video from Zeb Coulter and Jack Swagger about how illegal immigrants here for a handout are ruining America. If the government won’t do anything, Coulter and Swagger will do it for them.

Daniel Bryan yells at Kane for attacking him last night and tonight it’s Bryan vs. Swagger. Kane is going to get a singles match of his own and neither wants the other to come out for their match. Kane says he doesn’t deal well with snakes, which gets the attention of Orton, who just happened to be standing behind them. Randy says Kane is more like Barney the Dinosaur now. Orton vs. Kane is teased for later.

Vickie is on the phone when Paul Heyman comes up. She makes fun of him for the stipulations meaning nothing last night and promises a huge announcement for later tonight. Heyman doesn’t like surprises, which is why she’s going to surprise him.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler starts fast but is sent to the apron where an enziguri puts him on the floor. We take a break with Del Rio standing tall in the ring. Back with Ziggler choking Del Rio on the ropes followed by a dropkick for two. Langston gets in a cheap shot which gives Dolph another near fall. The Fameasser gives Dolph another two count but he goes to the top and gets crotched down.

Alberto follows up with a reverse superplex to put both guys down. Del Rio wins a slugout and hits his low superkick for two. The cross armbreaker is countered into a neckbreaker by Dolph but Del Rio sends him into the corner and hits a Backstabber for two. The cross armbreaker gets the tap out 9:24.

Rating: C+. This was fine but again, Ziggler gets to get beaten up by the guy he is supposed to cash in on. This is the trap they lay for themselves: if they finally do give Ziggler the belt, why would the fans buy him as a legit threat? He’s lost to EVERYONE more than once and hardly ever wins anything anymore, so why would we buy him as champion? My guess is we wouldn’t, but he’s got the belt and that’s all that matters right?

Post match Langston lays out Del Rio with the Big Ending and Ziggler tries to cash in. Ricardo steals the case though and runs off with it, only to drop it while Big E. chases him. AJ hands it back to Dolph but Alberto hits an enziguri to lay Ziggler out. No cash-in.

Wade Barrett shows us a trailer of a movie he’s in called Dead Man Down. After the trailer, Sheamus pops up on screen to make fun of how small Barrett’s part is in the movie.

Lawler and Cole do a commercial for the new WWE toys.

Brodus Clay/Tensai vs. Epico/Primo/Rosa Mendes

The girls get us going here with Naomi taking over quickly. Primo and Tensai come in but Brodus scares Primo to the floor. Brodus comes in legally and the double splash is enough to pin Primo in 1:30.

Clip from the press conference announcing Wrestlemania coming to New Orleans.

Here are Swagger and Coulter for the State of the WWE. Swagger says he did what he did last night for America before turning the mic over to Coulter. Zeb talks about how it’s Presidents’ Day and they have the freedom of speech. If the people don’t like what’s being said, that’s too bad. Very true point. Coulter blames the problems of the union on illegal immigrants and says that Swagger can do something about it.

The title match at Wrestlemania isn’t just a title match. It’s a battle for America between a real American and a man who came to this country to reap the rewards of the motherland. Swagger is going to reclaim America from someone trying to steal it. Swagger shouts WE THE PEOPLE a lot until Daniel Bryan’s music cuts him off.

Daniel Bryan vs. Jack Swagger

We return from a commercial to see the match already in progress. Bryan fires off kicks to the leg to slow Swagger up a bit before hooking a kind of sunset flip for two. Swagger blocks a surfboard but Bryan goes to the arm to slow him down again. Jack sends him out tot he floor but gets dropkicked down by Bryan. Swagger comes right back by ramming Bryan’s taped ribs into the barricade.

Back inside and Swagger hits a running charge to crush Bryan in the corner again. A knee to the ribs puts bryan down again and the Vader Bomb out of the corner gets two. Bryan fights back and sends Jack to the floor where he hits a suicide dive to put both guys down. Back in again and a missile dropkick gets two for Bryan.

Daniel fires off a bunch of kicks but Swagger counters into a spinebuster. The cover is countered into the NO Lock but Swagger gets a rope. Bryan misses a running clothesline in the corner and hurts his ribs again, allowing for Swagger to start in on the ankle. A chop block takes the leg out and the Patriot Lock (not Act) gets the tap out at 8:07 shown.

Rating: C+. The match was fine but I couldn’t stand the lack of psychology at the end. Why in the world would Swagger need to go to the ankle lock when Bryan had bad ribs? Swagger had worked on the ribs for the entire match but then has to go for the ankle to end the match. The fact that Jack has a move that works on the ribs (gutwrench powerbomb) makes this even worse. I can’t stand it and it happens far too often.

Here are Heyman and Vickie in the ring for Vickie’s announcement. Vickie announces her new assistant: Brad Maddox. Brad comes out to talk about how he got this job from Vince himself because he exposed the relationship between Heyman and the Shield. Heyman goes to leave but Vince pops up on screen to say not so fast.

Actually that’s not the surprise for Heyman. Vince asks about the stipulations in the title match last night and we get a clip of Heyman saying he would do anything to get those rules in place. Vince says anything means anything, so he could fire Paul right now. McMahon doesn’t do it yet because next week, Heyman and Vince are going to have a fight.

We see Cena and Punk’s challenge from earlier tonight.

Chris Jericho/Sheamus/Ryback vs. Shield

Ryback starts by launching Rollins into the corner and firing away shoulders. Jericho tries to calm him down before beating on Ambrose for a bit. A suplex puts Dean down and it’s off to Sheamus vs. Reigns. Sheamus pounds him down and sends him into the corner for a running knee lift. White Noise hits but Rollins pulls Reigns out of the ring before the Brogue Kick. Sheamus kicks Ambrose to the floor instead as we take a break.

Back with Reigns holding Sheamus in a chinlock. That doesn’t last long as it’s off to Rollins for some stomping in the corner. Reigns comes back in for more of the same but Sheamus fights back with a clothesline. A double tag brings in Ryback to face Rollins and it’s power moves all around. There’s the Meat Hook but Reigns spears Ryback down to break up Shell Shock again, but it only gets two. The fans cheer for Jericho as Ambrose keeps beating on Ryback. Rollins comes back in and stomps away a bit more for two.

Dean comes back in with a neckbreaker for two and it’s back to Reigns. Roman misses a splash in the corner and gets caught on the top rope, allowing Ryback to make the hot tag to Jericho. He gets to fight Ambrose but has to dropkick Rollins down as well. The bulldog takes Ambrose down and there’s the Lionsault for two. The Walls are countered into a small package for two as Reigns sends Ryback into the post. Jericho hooks the Walls on Ambrose and Sheamus takes out Reigns but it distracts the referee. Rollins kicks Jericho from the top rope for the pin at 13:31.

Rating: B-. Another solid match by Shield, who could be just fine taking out random three man combinations. They’ve been kept VERY strong so far and using them sparingly is the best idea the company could have had. This furthers the issues between Ryback and Sheamus and/or Jericho which could make for an interesting Mania fight. Good stuff here.

Kofi Kingston vs. Damien Sandow

Before the match Sandow says today is President’s Day, which Sandow holds close to his heart. Apparently members of his family have served as advisers to Presidents, including his great grandfather who came up with the idea of the New Deal. Sandow jumps Kofi before the match and it’s a big fight. Kingston’s shoulder is sent into the post and keeps up the beating until R-Truth returns and beats up Sandow.

Josh talks to the same two actors from G.I. Joe 2 that he spoke to last night. This leads to a clip from the movie.

Randy Orton vs. Kane

Kane runs him over with a shoulder to start and we stop and stare for a bit. Orton goes after the arm but gets punched out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Kane holding Orton in a chinlock and getting two off a big boot. A DDT gets the same and Kane is getting frustrated. Back to the chinlock but Orton fights up and hits some punches in the corner followed by a dropkick.

Kane fights back with a low dropkick of his own and we hit the chinlock for the third time. Both guys hit a variety of a slam (Power for Randy, side for Kane) but Kane misses the top rope clothesline. Kane takes Randy down again and loads up the chokeslam but here’s Bryan for a distraction. Orton and the RKO finish this at 9:33.

Rating: D. I’m a Kane fan but this was a pretty lame match. When you have three chinlocks seen in a less than ten minute match, it’s pretty clear that you don’t have much to do out there. This match kept going on and on which made for a very dull match overall. Orton was basically just a warm body out there instead of anyone of importance. Bad match.

Rock is played to the ring for his Championship Celebration by a university marching band. That’s pretty cool indeed. Rock talks about how much of a coward Punk showed himself to be by spitting in Rock’s face last night, but Rock pinned him anyway. Rock says that he’s going to Wrestlemania, but he’s not going with this title. There’s a table set up next to him with something under a blanket. Rock talks about the current belt being introduced eight years ago and some people thought it looked cool. Then again some people think Bigfoot is real so take that for what it’s worth. Also, the belt should never spin.

Rock hands a stagehand the belt and says take it to the Hall of Fame. He talks about the greats that have held the world title over the years (biggest pop might have been for Bret actually) before unveiling the new belt. It looks like the US Title shape but has a big WWE logo in the middle and Brahma Bulls on the sides. I’ve seen worse.

Moving on though, Rock says he has to face someone at Wrestlemania. The fans seem more interested in Rock vs. Cena II, so here’s Cena to the stage. Punk pops up from behind and hits Cena in the back with the old belt, laying him out. Rock is ready to fight but Punk walks away to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. The show was certainly entertaining but these Raws after a PPV are tough to sit through. Six hours in two days is just WAY too much time and I was getting tired halfway through the show. That being said, it was still an entertaining show and a lot of stuff was done, which is the most important part. Next week’s show looks big, which shows the stupidity of what WWE does most of the time: why don’t they announce something for next week more often? You very rarely hear something like this anymore, which makes no sense given how easy it is to do. Just be patient and things will be better.

Results

Mark Henry b. Sin Cara – World’s Strongest Slam

The Miz b. Antonio Cesaro – Figure Four

Alberto Del Rio b. Dolph Ziggler – Cross Armbreaker

Jack Swagger b. Daniel Bryan – Patriot Lock

Shield b. Chris Jericho/Ryback/Sheamus – Ambrose pinned Jericho after a top rope kick from Rollins

Randy Orton b. Kane – RKO

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new ebook of 1998 Monday Night Raw Reviews on Amazon at:




Rock Unveils New WWE Championship Belt, Picture Included

After eight years, dare I say…..FINALLY?  Photo coming when I can find one.  It looks like the US Title shape but has a big WWE logo in the middle and Brahma Bulls on the sides. I’ve seen worse.

Here’s a picture of the new title:

BUT DOES IT SPIN???




Thought of the Day: Cena vs. Rock II and The Comedy Of The Internet

So apparently, Rock vs. Cena II is happening at Wrestlemania 29.  Naturally the general consensus is that this is a horrible idea and Punk HAS TO save it.  Let’s get this over with.1. John Cena vs. The Rock I was the biggest drawing match of all time.  It makes good business sense to try it again.

2. John Cena vs. The Rock has happened ONE TIME.  The way people are talking, you would think it was Sheamus vs. Ziggler or something that happens once a week.  It’s their second match ever, not their 19th.

3. The first match was pretty good to great.  My guess is the rematch will also produce an excellent match.

4. Punk has been defeated.  From a storytelling perspective, it makes little sense to include him.

5. Triple threats suck anyway.




Elimination Chamber 2013: Looked Good On Paper, Looked Better In Reality

Elimination Chamber 2013
Date: February 17, 2013
Location: New Orleans Arena, New Orleans, Louisiana
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

This is the final PPV before we hit Wrestlemania 29. The main events tonight are the Rock defending the Raw World Title against CM Punk, Alberto Del Rio defending the Smackdown World Title against Big Show and an Elimination Chamber match for the #1 contendership to the Smackdown World Title. The card is pretty stacked on top which hopefully will make for a fun show. Let’s get to it.

Pre Show: Brodus Clay/Tensai vs. Rhodes Scholars

Sandow and Rhodes talk about how this is the reunion tour that the fans have demanded on social media. Tensai has his own hat now and dances down to the ring. It’s Sandow vs. Brodus to start things off but Damien is quickly sent to the floor. A double tag brings in Cody to face Tensai and after a splash staggers Rhodes, he comes back with a punch to the large head of Tensai.

Sandow cheats a bit, allowing Cody to hit the Disaster Kick for two. Damien comes in legally now and pounds away for a bit before bringing Cody back in for a front facelock. Tensai fights out and hits an uppercut but Rhodes gets a tag out anyway. Tensai shrugs off the Wind-Up Elbow and brings in Clay off the hot tag. Brodus runs over Cody in the corner and loads up his suplex but Sandow dropkicks him in the back for the save. The big guys crush Sandow with standing body attacks, followed by a double headbutt and double splash to Cody for the pin at 4:06.

Rating: C. This was exactly what it was expected to be: a fun opener that allowed both teams to fire up the crowd a bit. I have no idea what the point was in splitting up the Scholars to have them reunite like two weeks later, but I’m not a professional at stuff like this. Brodus and Tensai will probably enter the tag title picture soon, once HELL NO breaks up.

The opening video is about how this is the final chance at getting to Wrestlemania, but to go the men have to pay a price. We also talk about the six man tag with Shield vs. Cena/Ryback/Sheamus. Oh and the title matches are thrown in as well.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Alberto Del Rio

Alberto is defending, having beaten Show for the title on Smackdown earlier this year in a last man standing match. Del Rio won a rematch with the same gimmick at the Royal Rumble, but Big Show says Del Rio can’t pin him. Alberto broke Big Show’s bus because that’s what kind of a hero he is. Big Show takes the champion into the corner to start and hits a pair of the skin curling chops, only to have Alberto come back with a kick to the ribs.

The Big Bald tries to get a boot up in the corner but Alberto hits a kind of jawbreaker onto the leg to slow Big Show down. The superkick to the jaw gets two but Big Show easily throws Alberto away. Big Show spears Del Rio in half but only gets two out of it. A big clothesline puts Del Rio down and a kick to the throat does the same. The fans get behind Alberto but not enough to make him avoid the Vader Bomb for two.

Out of nowhere Alberto grabs the cross armbreaker but Big Show’s limbs are too long, allowing him to get his foot on the rope to escape. Big Show gets back up and grabs a bearhug to slow things down again. He lets it go quickly though as instead of squeezing the champion, he has to kick Ricardo’s bucket to the floor. Big Show tries a powerbomb but Del Rio counters with a rana to send Show to the floor. A suicide dive takes Big Show out and both guys are down on the floor.

Show dives in to break the count at nine but gets caught with a top rope seated senton for two. Back up and Big Show hits a fast chokeslam for another near fall but he can’t follow up. The challenger loads up the WMD (is it called that anymore?) but Del Rio wisely bails to the floor. Show throws him back in but Del Rio counters another choke attempt with a DDT. That gets two for the champion as does the running enziguri in the corner. The fans are way into these kickouts.

There’s the cross armbreaker again in the middle of the ring but Big Show stands up and hits a kind of powerbomb to break the hold. For you old school fans, think Davey Boy Smith vs. Shawn Michaels from 1992. The WMD is loaded up again but Big Show knocks out Ricardo with it instead. He picks up the bucket and Del Rio hits the running enziguri into the bucket (after slipping the first time) to drive it into Show’s head. Another enziguri sets up the cross armbreaker for the submission to retain the title at 13:05.

Rating: B-. How in the world can this be Big Show vs. Alberto Del Rio? These two SUCKED just a year ago but now they’re having awesome matches against anyone they face. Del Rio is in a total zone right now and I’m hoping he can make magic with guys like Henry or Swagger at Wrestlemania. Big Show can go back to the upper midcard to be slayed by a hero, which is fine all around.

No Ziggler cash-in.

US Title: Antonio Cesaro vs. The Miz

Cesaro, the champion, beat Miz at the Rumble but they’re having another match because they just want to keep fighting I guess. Two of Rock’s co-stars are in the audience here. Miz has a bad shoulder because of an attack from Antonio on Monday. Cesaro quickly sends him to the apron but gets caught in a sunset flip for two. Off to a wristlock by the champion but Miz reverses with another rollup for two. A shoulder breaker puts Miz down and the champion is in full control.

After a quick arm lock by Cesaro, Miz comes back with some knees to the ribs for two. Cesaro cranks on the arm some more to regain control and hooks a short arm scissors to keep Miz on the mat. The bad arm is draped across the bottom rope for two and it’s off to another arm lock on the challenger. They get back to their feet and a big boot staggers Cesaro for a bit. The running clothesline in the corner sets up the top rope axhandle, but Cesaro counters into a Fujiwara Armbar.

Miz rolls out of the hold and backdrops Cesaro out to the floor to buy himself some time. A cross body off the apron is caught by Antonio but Miz escapes and sends the champion’s bare knee into the steps. Back in and Miz channels his inner Nature Boy by working on the knee. A low DDT gets two on Cesaro and it’s back to the knee. The Figure Four is countered but Cesaro claims a low blow…and that’s a DQ at 8:22. That was a really unclear ending, but I’m guessing we get another match at Wrestlemania now. The replay shows that Cesaro caused the low blow himself.

Rating: C. Decent match with a lame ending here. At the end of the day, there’s no reason for this match to happen, but it’s pretty obvious that we’re getting the big win for Miz at Wrestlemania, despite the face turn floundering. Cesaro continues to look strong here though which is the right idea. This was one of Miz’s better matches in a good while.

Post match Miz kicks Cesaro low again.

HELL NO argues over whether or not Kane is in a bad mood. Kane says he’s focused because tonight is a big deal for him. Bryan offers a partnership tonight and they hug it out, but Kane doesn’t agree to watch Bryan’s back.

The Chamber is lowered.

Video on how the Chamber works. There are six men in the match with two men starting. The other four are in pods around the ring. Every five minutes, another man is entered into the match. People are eliminated by pin or submission and the last man surviving wins.

Jack Swagger vs. Kane vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton vs. Mark Henry vs. Chris Jericho

Swagger has new music and Zeb Coulter with him. Jack says that when he talks, he showers us with truth. The mustache with Coulter attached talks about the Louisiana Purchase and how disappointed Thomas Jefferson would be with what has become of the once great nation. He doesn’t like illegal immigrants asking for handouts, so the two of them will make things right. Tonight marks the beginning of a Jack Swagger America. The starters are going to be Jericho and Bryan.

Jericho snaps off some armdrags and hooks a headlock on the mat. Bryan counters into a NO Lock attempt but Jericho rolls out into an attempt at the Walls. Bryan rolls out of that to send Jericho into the corner before hitting some NO kicks. Daniel moonsaults out of the corner but gets sent to the cage on the outside. They fight to try to slam each other onto the Chamber floor but Bryan tries the NO Lock again. Jericho counters into a slingshot into the cage as they head back inside.

Back in and a belly to back suplex gets two for Chris. Jack Swagger is in third and he goes right after Jericho. Bryan gets rammed into the cage wall a few times and Swagger follows up with a splash to crush Goat Face again. Swagger drives his knee into Bryan’s head to mash it against the Chamber floor but Jericho makes a save. Jack sends the Canadian into the cage a few times but Bryan comes back with a running knee to Swagger’s head to put him down again.

The swan dive from Bryan misses Jericho and Kane is in fourth. Kane and Bryan team up on Jericho and Swagger but Bryan turns on Kane with a rollup for two. Bryan wants to hug it out but instead Kane hits him in the face. The NO kicks have Kane in some trouble but the NO Lock is countered into a side slam for two. Kane goes up top but Bryan breaks up the clothesline. Jericho comes back in and plays Animal to Kane’s Hawk in a Doomsday Device on Bryan. That gets two for Swagger but he can’t suplex Kane a second later.

Randy Orton comes in fifth. He cleans house and hits a slingshot suplex on Bryan followed by the Elevated DDT on Kane onto the Chamber. In a cool visual, Orton superplexes Swagger just before Jericho superplexes Bryan to put all five guys down. Henry is desperate to get in and there goes the clock, giving us all six guys in the Chamber at once. House is cleaned again and a World’s Strongest Slam eliminates Bryan to get us down to five.

Henry easily tosses Orton through the glass of a pod in a painful looking visual. Back inside it’s Henry vs. Kane and the masked man staggers Henry with a big boot. The top rope clothesline is countered into another World’s Strongest Slam to eliminate Kane and get us down to four. Henry loads up Jericho but Chris escapes and sends Henry into the pod wall. Swagger helps Jericho out and they hit a double suplex onto the Chamber floor. Jericho and Swagger head back in and a cross body off the top gets two for Chris.

The gutwrench powerbomb is blocked by Jericho but he can’t hook the Walls. A bulldog looks to set up the Lionsault but Henry catches Jericho by the throat and throws him into the Chamber wall. Mark launches Jericho onto Swagger and both blonde haired guys are down. Henry misses a Vader Bomb onto both guys and it’s a Codebreaker and RKO to eliminate the World’s Strongest Man.

We’re down to Orton, Swagger and Jericho but all three guys are down. Henry is applauded as he leaves but goes back inside to hit World’s Strongest Slams on all three guys. The fans are digging Henry here and I can’t say I blame them. Booker and Teddy come out to try to stop Henry and they finally get him out of the Chamber. Swagger covers Orton for two and has early control of the three way fight.

Orton and Jericho team up to throw Swagger shoulder and head first into the post/pod. The slugout is on now instead of eliminating Swagger though which could come back to haunt them. Jericho goes up but jumps into a dropkick for two. Swagger is back in now and walks into a powerslam, as does Jericho. Chris breaks up the Elevated DDT on Swagger with a dropkick for two. The Codebreaker to Swagger is countered into a belly to belly suplex for two more.

The running Vader Bomb (popular move tonight) doesn’t connect with Orton but Swagger avoids the boot to the face and hooks the Patriot Act. Jericho hits an enzugiri on Swagger to break up the hold (why?) and there are the Walls on Jack. Orton breaks up the hold (again, why?) and gets two on Jericho before hitting a double Elevated DDT. Randy loads up the RKO but Jericho blocks it, only to miss the Lionsault and walk into the RKO for the elimination. Swagger immediately rolls up Orton for the final pin at 31:25 to go to Wrestlemania.

Rating: B. This was solid stuff and while it was somewhat obvious that Swagger was winning when they got down to three, the match never got dull or uninteresting as they had a very solid triple threat segment at the end. I’m not wild on Swagger winning and getting a shot at the title, but at least they’ve tweaked his character a bit to make him somewhat more interesting. Good Chamber match.

Wrestlemania tickets are still available.

We recap Shield vs. Cena/Sheamus/Ryback. The Shield is here to fight for justice, but they’ve mainly attacked Ryback. Sheamus and Cena were attacked as well, so tonight the three superheroes join up to fight the seekers of justice.

Shield vs. John Cena/Sheamus/Ryback

Shield is Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns in case you’re reading this in 15 years. This was rumored to be inside the Chamber but it’s just a regular six man tag. The fight starts as Shield comes through the crowd and it’s a big brawl at ringside. They head into the ring and the bell hasn’t rung yet. The good guys hit triple vertical suplexes on the Shield and the bell finally rings with Sheamus vs. Ambrose to start things off.

Sheamus is in full control and wisely rips off Ambrose’s jacket to hit the ten forearms to the chest. Rollins is decked as well but a staredown with Reigns lets Ambrose get in a cheap shot. Off to Reigns legally now for some power strikes to the chest. Rollins and Ambrose hit some fast dropkicks for two until Seth hooks a rear naked choke to slow things down a bit. Back to Ambrose but he spends too much time shouting, allowing Sheamus to hit a fast Brogue Kick to put both guys down.

The hot tag brings in Cena to face the legal Reigns and there’s a Shuffle for Roman. There’s the STF but Ambrose makes the save. Rollins dives onto Cena to keep him down and get two for Reigns. A hard whip into the corner puts Cena down again and it’s off to Rollins. Seth talks a lot of trash which allows Cena to come back, only to be taken down by a jumping kick to the face for two.

Back to Dean as the focus is on Cena’s hand and arm. Shield hits some nice triple team stuff culminating in a big clothesline from Reigns for two. Sheamus and Roman get in a shouting match but Reigns is able to stop Cena’s comeback attempt with a Samoan drop for two. Off to a chinlock followed by a punch to Cena’s chest for two. Ambrose gets two off a neckbreaker followed by a figure four choke to keep Cena in trouble. John fights up but gets caught by a DDT for two almost immediately.

The fans really want to see Ryback now and they might get the chance as Cena backdrops Ambrose to the floor. The double tag brings in Rollins to face Ryback as the place lights up. Ryback throws Ambrose into Rollins in the corner but Reigns breaks up the Meat Hook. Everything breaks down as Sheamus goes to the floor with Roman.

A HUGE spear puts Sheamus through the barricade but Reigns is down too. Rollins dives at Ryback but is caught in midair, only to be saved by Dean. Reigns comes back in for the TripleBomb but Cena makes the save. There’s an AA to Ambrose as Ryback loads up the Shell Shock on Rollins, but Reigns spears Ryback down to give Rollins the pin at 14:51.

Rating: B-. Well that’s one way to go. I’m not sure where they go with Ryback now though as he keeps losing every time he fights Shield. They’ve basically crippled his momentum at this point since Ryback hasn’t won a match of note since….October? I have no idea what they’re going to do with Shield next but you can’t say they’re not putting them over like free beer in a frat house.

Ryback storms out.

Don’t try this at home.

Here are Ziggler and company with something to say. Ziggler congratulates Swagger on making it to Wrestlemania, but that doesn’t guarantee him the world title. The MITB case guarantees you the title apparently. You should call the cops because Ziggler has stolen more shows than this year’s Hall of Fame class combined. Cue Booker T who says Ziggler is wrong. He knows someone that can do everything Ziggler can do and more, so it’s time for a match.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston

Ziggler immediately takes it to the mat but Kofi pops up with a dropkick. Kofi misses a charge and goes shoulder first into the post though and Ziggy takes over. Kofi pops back up and does his double leapfrog, only to jump into the sleeper. The hold is broken and Kofi dives onto Big E. Langston on the floor. An AJ distraction backfires and Trouble in Paradise lays out Ziggler. It only gets two though as Langston makes the save, so Kofi dives on him again. Back inside and a cross body gets two for Kofi so he goes up top, only to get dropped onto the buckle. The Zig Zag is good for the pin for Dolph at 3:54.

Rating: C. Usual decent match from these two as you would expect. When you fight each other as much as these two do, you become capable of having good matches in your sleep. These two passed that point years ago so even a quick four minute match like this is fine. Kofi continues to do his thing: make people look good.

Post match Langston lays out Kofi with the Big Ending.

We hear about the WWE App for the 475th time in the last month.

Brodus and the Funkadactyls are playing with the new WWE toys when Tensai comes in to hear a commercial. Tensai wants to know where his figure is. Brodus asks what the tattoos on his face mean but Tensai doesn’t know. It might be a sushi menu though. Dancing ensues.

Divas Title: Tamina Snuka vs. Kaitlyn

Kaitlyn is defending and this match was set up on the WWE App on Monday. The crowd is silent for Kaitlyn’s entrance so we get a quick promo from her about how scary Tamina is. Tamina shoves Katilyn around a bit to start but gets caught in a rollup for two. A backslide gets two more for the champ and Tamina is knocked to the floor. The other Divas are watching in the back. Kaitlyn goes to the apron, only to be rammed into the buckle and knocked out to the floor. Back in and a Samoan drop puts Kaitlyn down but the Superfly Splash misses. Kaitlyn spears her down to retain at 3:15.

Rating: D+. Did we really need this? No? I didn’t think so either. When your match is set up on the WWE App, it’s pretty clear that it’s not needed on the card. For about two weeks there were no Divas mentioned anywhere on WWE TV and it was a very nice break. Why did they need to come back again?

Wrestlemania is in 49 days.

We recap The Rock vs. CM Punk. Rock won the title at the Royal Rumble but during the match, the lights went out and Shield attacked the Rock. That was enough to give Punk the pin, but Vince McMahon restarted the match because he thought Punk was behind the attack. Rock came back and won the title with a People’s Elbow to end Punk’s fourteen month long reign. Punk DEMANDED a rematch tonight and recently got Vince to agree to the stipulation of if Rock gets counted out or disqualified, he loses the title.

Raw World Title: The Rock vs. CM Punk

Rock is defending and if he gets counted out or disqualified, he loses the title. Punk stole the physical belt on Raw and has it with him here. We get some big match intros and we’re ready to go. Feeling out process to start with Rock avoiding some kicks from Punk. The fans are split on who to cheer for as Punk shoulder blocks Rock down. Punk does it again and smiles a lot. Heyman shouts that it’s 2-0 now.

The challenger grabs a headlock and there’s the third straight shoulder knockdown by Punk. Rock snaps off some armdrags so Punk bails to the outside. Back in and Punk slaps Rock which ticks the champion off. The referee breaks up the beating in the corner because it was about to cost Rock the title. Punk spits in Rock’s face ala Christian vs. Orton from 2011. Rock takes his head off with a clothesline and sends Punk to the floor for another clothesline.

After a Heyman distraction, Punk takes Rock’s head off with another clothesline back inside for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Punk hits some elbow drops for two. Back to the chinlock as Rock is in some trouble. The champion fights up but gets kicked in the head for two. Heyman shouts that Punk is getting closer and there’s a snap suplex for two more. Back to the chinlock for a bit before Rock charges into a boot in the corner.

The springboard clothesline gets a near fall for Punk and it’s off to a cravate. That lasts a few seconds because it’s time for another chinlock. This is a much slower paced match than what they did at the Rumble. Rock fights up and pounds away in the corner but Punk avoids the spit punch and hits a running knee to the chest. The running knee hits to the jaw this time and the Macho Elbow gets two more.

They head to the floor where Punk loads up the announce table but gets rammed into the other table to stop the momentum. Back in and the high kick stops Rock cold for another near fall. We head outside again and Punk hits a Rock Bottom onto the table which doesn’t break. That looked great as Rock bounced off the table with no give. Rock slides back in at nine so Punk pounds away. Punk runs his mouth a bit too much and charges into a Samoan drop to put both guys down.

Back up again and Rock hits a BIG right hand to stagger Punk against the ropes. They slug it out and there’s the jumping clothesline by Rock followed by a DDT to put CM down. The Rock Bottom is countered and Punk elbows Rock down. Punk goes up top but dives into a Rock Bottom for two. The fans are shocked at that one. Punk shoves Rock into the referee right before hitting the GTS but there’s no one to count. Another referee comes out as Rock escapes another GTS.

The spinebuster sets up the People’s Elbow but it only gets two as well. Punk rolls onto the referee’s ankle, sending him to the floor in pain. Another high kick puts Rock down and Punk calls for Heyman to send in the belt. Punk nails Heyman with the title and a second Rock Bottom is enough to send Rock to Wrestlemania at 20:57.

Rating: B. This stated slow but got a lot better once they hit the main event style. The match was probably overbooked but that’s Rock’s bread and butter as an Attitude Era main eventer. I don’t think people were expecting Punk to win the title here and the stipulation wasn’t needed, but at least the match was entertaining. That’s all you can ask for when you have a match with a pretty obvious ending.

Rock poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. This was a really solid show with nothing outside of the women being less than quite good. There are a TON of options still on the table for Wrestlemania which is a very exciting feeling. Things tomorrow night should shed some more light on what we’re going to get, but we’re definitely on the Road to Wrestlemania which means things should be getting very exciting very fast. Good show tonight too.

Results

Alberto Del Rio b. Big Show – Cross Armbreaker

Antonio Cesaro b. The Miz via DQ when Miz hit Cesaro low

Jack Swagger b. Randy Orton, Chris Jericho, Mark Henry, Kane and Daniel Bryan last eliminating Orton – Rollup

Shield b. John Cena/Ryback/Sheamus – Ambrose pinned Ryback after a spear from Reigns

Dolph Ziggler b. Kofi Kingston – Zig Zag

Kaitlyn b. Tamina Snuka – Spear

The Rock b. CM Punk – Rock Bottom

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my ebook of 1998 Monday Night Raw Reviews on Amazon at:




Monday Night Raw – January 21, 2002: Is It Really Nostalgia If It’s Only Three Years Old?

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 21, 2002
Location: BI-LO Center, Greenville, South Carolina
Attendance: 9,420
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with the Rumble now and the road is pointing to HHH vs. Chris Jericho at the Rumble. Other than that….there’s not much going on here. Basically it’s all about HHH for the next seven or eight weeks, but now we need to bring in Stephanie as well because what would Monday Night Raw be without her? Let’s get to it.

We open with the Martin Luther King Day video. What is Vince’s obsession with that holiday? Not that I’m complaining but he never misses that thing.

We recap the winners of the Rumbles over the years before getting to HHH’s win last night.

Rob Van Dam/Tazz/Spike Dudley vs. Booker T/Dudley Boys

Booker eliminated RVD last night to set this up. Spike is in a neck brace. Booker and RVD start things off by trading some forearms. Booker takes him down but stupidly tries to get into a kicking battle with Rob freaking Van Dam. Why in the world would you think that was a good idea? A dropkick and standing moonsault get two for Rob and it’s off to Tazz. Some Dudley interference lets Booker take over before it’s off to D-Von.

The jumping back elbow puts Tazz down and there’s a tag to Bubba who knocks Spike off the apron. There’s the ax kick from Booker but instead of the Spinarooni it’s back to D-Von for more pounding in the corner. A legdrop gets two on Tazz and D-Von throws him to the floor. After some cheating by Bubba we head back inside where Tazz hits a quick suplex on D-Von to put both guys down.

The hot tag brings in RVD and let the rolls and flips begin. Rob cleans house but gets caught in the reverse 3D for two. Everything breaks down and everyone hits something, including a 3D to Tazz. As Bubba is getting up though, Van Dam hits him with the Five Star for the surprise pin.

Rating: C. This was a nice little tag match and the surprise ending made it that much better. I’m still a big fan of combining feuds like this as it allows them to save time while giving us some fresh matchups at the same time. This lets both feuds continue as a combination of both were involved in the fall. Decent stuff here.

It’s Jericho time as he gets to gloat over keeping the title last night over the Rock. Jericho talks about how everyone knew Rock was going to win but he shocked the world. This is the kind of promo that Punk could have had after this year’s Rumble but they went with the logical booking instead, which was probably the right move. Jericho demands respect and appreciation for his accomplishments, which are indeed pretty awesome. He wants a standing ovation but here’s HHH instead.

The Game gives Jericho some applause and says Jericho has never beaten HHH. He talks about going to Wrestlemania to face Jericho, assuming Jericho keeps the title. In two months, Jericho has to be larger than life, because that’s what it’s going to take to face HHH at Wrestlemania. At Wrestlemania, it will be time for Jericho to play the Game.

This brings out Kurt Angle for his second interruption of HHH in three weeks. He yells at HHH for jumping him from behind to eliminate him in the Rumble last night. The brawl is on but Jericho hits HHH with the belt to stop it short. Jericho puts him in the Walls but Rock comes out to make the save.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. William Regal

Regal won the title last night with the aide of brass knuckles. Edge jumps him on the floor while the referee looks everywhere for the brass knucks. Regal is sent over the barricade and suplexed right back to ringside as Edge is on fire early on. There’s the bell as Edge comes in with a missile dropkick for two. A belly to back suplex gets two more and Regal bails to the outside.

They head to the floor for a bit and the champion sends him shoulder first into the post to take over. Regal fires off some knees tot he shoulder like a good villain before hooking a chinlock. That goes nowhere so the Canadian fights up and hits a cross body and a spinwheel kick to drop Willy. The Edge-O-Matic gets two so Edge goes up, allowing Regal to pull out the knuckles. Edge knocks them away though and decks Regal with the for….two as Patrick sees the knuckles and calls for the DQ.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t awful but it didn’t do much for me. Regal was only a short term champion anyway as he would lose the belt at Mania in the opening match. Edge would of course have the logical feud from here: fighting Booker T over a Japanese shampoo commercial. Don’t you see the connection?

Edge beats up some referees post match.

Post break Edge is taken out of the arena.

Kane and Big Show talk for a bit about Kane eliminating him from the Rumble last night. Show leaves and Billy and Chuck come in (instead of out). They offer Kane a spot on the team complete with his own headband. A two on one beatdown ensues when he says no. Ok then.

Mr. Perfect and Debra chat about Austin. This also goes nowhere.

Here’s Flair to liven things up a bit. He says we’re in Flair Country tonight and thanks the fans for supporting him for 25 years. In that time he left his family behind because he was blinded by ambition to be the best. The only thing he knew about his children was that he was there when they were born. He couldn’t be at their ball games or recitals because he had to be wrestling around the world. Flair doesn’t regret a bit of it because the fans became his family. Lawler: “Good to see he’s got his priorities in order.”

In recent years though, Flair has wanted to become a better father who his kids can look up to. That’s why when Vince started to screw with him and his family, Flair had to change his catchphrase to “to be the man, you’ve got to beat Vince McMahon.” Last night, Vince took a camera from Flair’s kids’ hands and took pictures of Flair’s bloody face. Then Flair’s daughter got the camera back and took a shot of Vince’s bloody face. We see the picture and WOW Vince’s eyes looked insane.

Anyway here’s a bandaged Vince to stare down Ric. Flair takes his jacket off but Vince leaves his on. He says people think he lost at the Rumble, but apparently Flair lost too. Vince says that after last night, Flair is going to do something bad. Something so bad that even Vince might regret it. Flair is going to see what it is and that’s it. That announcement would come on Smackdown.

Val Venis vs. Mr. Perfect

Both guys returned at the Rumble last night. Val does the Rick Rude thing, although instead of getting a kiss, she gets to remove his towel. He doesn’t even want to know her name so they don’t get too attached. Val kisses her anyway. Perfect takes him into the corner for some hard chops but Val comes back with some knees to the ribs. A clothesline puts Val down…and here’s Austin. He BLASTS Perfect in the head with a chair, presumably for something from the Rumble last night. The match is thrown out.

Val gets in Austin’s face and gets the Stunner he deserves. Austin has a story for us tonight: it’s about a man named Jed, a poor mountaineer who barely kept his family fed. Austin goes through the entire theme song (get some culture if you don’t know what I’m talking about) but says that’s not the story he’s here to tell us. Instead he wants to talk about Steve Austin going to the Royal Rumble.

He ate a bunch of Mexican food and drank a lot of alcohol but last night he was hoodwinked, bamboozled and flabbergasted by two guys from behind. He’s entering the 2003 Royal Rumble right now and is going to Wrestlemania this year to beat someone up. Austin gets into nearly a sermon, talking about how he’s going to bloody and torture someone at Wrestlemania. The direction for this seemed to be “Austin, go fill up five minutes because we have no idea what to do tonight.”

Big Show/Kane vs. Billy and Chuck

Big Show is a surprise partner and the brawl starts on the ramp. Kane gets Billy in the ring and launches fire from the posts. Chuck gets kicked in the face and it’s off to Big Show as he and Chuck are legal. Billy is pulled in as well as Show is beating up everything in sight. Kane goes up top but Show accidentally knocks him to the floor. Chuck takes Big Show’s leg out and the Fameasser is enough for the pin. Next.

HHH yells at Rock for saving him earlier, which makes Rock ask a very good question: why is HHH so mad all the time when he’s going to Wrestlemania? Rock recommends some ice cream and a ham and cheese sammich. Oh and he wasn’t saving HHH earlier. It was just a preview for Angle and Jericho.

We get a clip of Maven eliminating Undertaker in a legit shocking moment last night.

The APA is at WWF New York.

The newly legit Godfather is here, now owning an escort service instead of being a pimp. He says he’s in the Yellow Pages now and this needs to end already. It’s time to dance but here’s Lance Storm to complain. Storm: “This business is as legitimate as a three legged donkey….which is illegitimate as a donkey of course has four legs.” Storm tries to clear out the ring but Godfather hits the running splash in the corner to dispatch the Canadian.

Goldust says there’s a star that burns brighter than he does and Goldie is coming for him.

Stephanie yells at HHH for being Rock’s partner tonight. She tells him to go beat up Rock but HHH tells her everything doesn’t revolve around her. He finally tells her to shut up and walks out.

The Rock/HHH vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Jericho

Rock and Angle start things off but it’s quickly off to Jericho as the villains take over. Jericho shoulders him down but Rock nips up and hits a spear of all things to put the Canadian down. Off to HHH as the beating continues. Chris is slammed off the top and HHH hooks a running choke to keep the pressure on. Back to Rock for a release belly to belly suplex and a spinebuster to set up the Elbow, but Angle low bridges him to the floor.

Rock gets to play Ricky Morton for a bit as Jericho drops a bunch of elbows for two. Back to Angle who gets punched in the face and put in the Sharpshooter, only for Jericho to quickly break it up. A DDT puts Chris down and there’s the double tag to bring in HHH and Angle. The Game beats up both evildoers and catapults Jericho out to the floor. Angle gets speared as well and Jericho gets crotched.

There’s the Pedigree for Angle but Jericho dives off the top for the save. It’s off to Rock vs. Jericho with the champion getting punched over and over. Jericho is knocked to the floor and grabs the bell but hits his own partner before walking into the Rock Bottom to end things. Nice job of making the champion look strong going into Mania.

Rating: C. The match was a standard main event tag match which means it was just ok at best. Jericho getting pinned makes me roll my eyes more than anything else, but it’s not like HHH wasn’t clearly winning the title the second his return date was announced. The match was just ok but star power helped it a lot.

Overall Rating: C-. This show was more disappointing than anything else. The problem here was mainly the Attitude Era guys being brought back in but only being warmed over imitations of what they used to be. In 2002, I don’t care about Val Venis or Godfather or Goldust. On top of that, we’re coming up on the most obvious main event of Wrestlemania since 1998, but that’s going to be overshaddowed by what’s coming on Smackdown. Not that it’s a good thing mind you, but it’s big.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my Monday Night Raw 1998 Reviews ebook on Amazon at:




Elimination Chamber 2013 Preview

How nice it is to only have one Chamber match at this show.  Let’s get to it.Starting with the preshow, I’ll go with Brodus/Tensai to beat the Rhodes Scholars.  Wait, didn’t they split up already?  Oh wait that was about two weeks ago so there’s no reason to remember it.  This is basically just a way to put the dancers over which is fine, but the Scholars shouldn’t have split already.  This should be the reason they break up, but that would make too much sense I guess.

 

I’ll go with Rock to retain the title, but I’m not 100% sold on it anymore.  The promos don’t have me wanting to see the match as much as I wanted to see them last month, but it should be better now that Rock isn’t coming in seven months cold.  I think they’re heading for Rock vs. Cena II at Wrestlemania and I can’ t say I’d argue over that idea.  Rock retains.

 

For the other title match…..I’ll go with Del Rio winning.  The bigger question seems to be will Ziggler cash in.  He hasn’t been seen much lately at all, which may be an attempt to make us forget about him before he cashes in on Sunday.  That being said, I’ve been thinking he’ll cash in for six months now, but I don’t think he’ll do it here.  Either that or he cashes in and loses.  Del Rio walks out with the title.

 

This brings us to the Chamber itself.  I’m pulling for Henry to win and set up the 6’4 Mexican David vs. the guy that Goliath checks under the bed for every night.  That being said, I have a bad feeling they’ll go with Swagger for the evil xenophobia angle at Wrestlemania, which makes my head hurt.  Bryan and Kane will likely continue to self destruct which is probably the best thing for them.  Orton and Jericho are just there and might have a match at Mania out of it.  Hopefully Henry wins but Swagger is the dark horse candidate.

 

I’ll take the three man machine to beat Shield.  Why would you have Cena win the Rumble one month and then lose in a six man the next?  Shield goes down here.

 

Kaitlyn over Tamina and Cesaro over Miz in matches that make no difference whatsoever.

 

Elimination Chamber looks like it could fit into the category of “good because it has no expectations coming in.”  Things could change a bit at this show and odds are we’ll finally get some answers about the rest of the card at Wrestlemania.  There are a lot of options open still which is nice as opposed to the card being pretty obvious eight weeks out.  The show should be good an interesting, which is a good sign.




On This Day: February 13, 1997 – Monday Night Raw: Raw Should Be On Thursdays More Often

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 13, 1997
Location: Memorial Auditorium, Lowell, Massachusetts
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is another special Raw show called Thursday Raw Thursday. This was another special request and my first one through e-mail actually. Anyway the idea here is that there’s either tennis or the stupid dog show on Monday so Raw is on Thursday this week. Don’t ask me why they say the day twice but it’s Vince so I think that explains it. This is famous for two reasons: Rock vs. HHH in a LONG match (for the time frame) and this is where Shawn lost his smile. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video on Shawn who is vacating the title, meaning that the winner of the Final Four this Sunday will be the new champion. The opening video is about Sid vs. Shawn which was supposed to be the rubber match tonight. Naturally they say Thursday Raw Thursday about a million times in between this.

Intercontinental Title: Rocky Maivia vs. HHH

 

HHH is champion here and Rocky is a glorified rookie. Also tonight there’s Sid vs. Austin and Bret vs. Vader. For no apparent reason Undertaker is fighting Savio. This is live it seems. It’s still Hunter Hearst Helmsley here so there’s no HHH name yet. The curtseying future Game gets a hip block to start us off and is very confident. They do some nice mat stuff which I’ve never seen before. They have some leg locks and head scissors with impressive counters. Cool stuff.

Off to a chinlock by HHH here but Rocky fights out and hits a dropkick to send him to the floor. A charge misses and Rocky hits the post. Back inside with HHH working on the arm. Rocky fights up but HHH gets a single arm DDT for two. Some chops hit in the corner as we take a break. Back with HHH still in control and just going OFF on Rocky’s head with right hands.

Honky Tonk Man comes out for some reason. He was looking for a protégé or something like that. He wound up picking Billy Gunn who became Rock-A-Billy as one of the dumbest gimmicks of all time. HHH has dominated the vast majority of this with a jumping knee to the head and then a sleeper. Rocky tries to reverse into a sleeper of his own but gets rammed into the buckle.

Rocky starts his comeback with right hands (called a chop by Vince for no apparent reason). Top rope cross body, more or less Rocky’s finisher, is rolled through by HHH for two. Facebuster sets up a neckbreaker by HHH for a close two. HHH is getting frustrated. Piledriver gets two AGAIN as Vince and Jim can’t believe it. Superplex gets two and no one knows what to think.

HHH sets for the Pedigree but Rocky can’t stand up long enough for it to go on. Rocky falls flat on his face and is more or less dead. Honky shouts ROLL HIM OVER! HHH finally tries to do just that and gets rolled up by Rocky for the pin and the title in perhaps the biggest upset of all time up to that point.

Rating: B-. This was good but it’s really just Rocky hanging in there until the end for the one small package to win the title. That being said, the resilience thing with HHH being all stuck up and not going for the kill when he could have makes this work more than it should. Also it’s Rock vs. HHH so it’s hard not to like it at least a little bit.

Rocky cuts his best Boy Scout promo after the match, saying he’ll make his fans and family proud.

Ad for Final Four which was a great main event.

Here’s Sunny, poured into a little white dress. Ah she’s ring announcer.

Headbangers vs. Bob Holly/Aldo Montoya

 

Montoya is more famous as Justin Credible. We see some clips of some WWF guys on a country music show. Road Dogg got to sing his song on there and Hillbilly Jim played some guitar. Also there was a “match” with the Godwinns vs. Jarrett/the host. Who thought this was a good idea for a match? Mosh vs. Holly to start us off. Holly doesn’t so much do things well as much as he doesn’t do things well.

In case you can’t get it, this is a terribly boring match. It’s not that it’s bad but there’s no point to having it and yet it’s here anyway. We’re talking about Shawn Michaels anyway which is far more interesting so that helps. I mean really, does anyone want to watch these four guys have a match? The announcers aren’t paying a bit of attention to this which I can’t blame them for at all.

The Headbangers hit a double Gordbuster on Holly as they take over. Yeah I don’t care about this match at all either. The idea is that Shawn might have to have reconstructive surgery. In reality the knee was slightly injured but he could have gone without the surgery but that would have meant losing the title at Mania which he just wasn’t going to do.

We might have talked about this match for 20 seconds combined of four and a half minutes. Thrasher misses a moonsault and it’s off to Montoya. We’re talking about Brett Favre now. I can’t escape this guy. Finally the Headbangers win with a powerbomb/leg drop combination. Sunny says Mosh and Thrash just won. Even she wasn’t paying attention.

Rating: D. The match was ok I guess but at the same time this was one of those times where no one cared in the slightest and everyone knew it. WWF in 97 was just bad at some points and this is one of them. Who in the world thought this was something people would want to see? Bad match, but now let’s get to something that matters.

Vince introduces Gorilla Monsoon who is going to accept the WWF Title from Shawn Michaels. Shawn limps out and is very sad. Here’s the basic idea: Shawn was supposed to return the favor to Bret and lose the title to him at Mania 13. However Shawn didn’t really want to do that and “hurt his knee” and couldn’t do it. He claimed the doctors said it could be career ending when it was really minor. In short, Shawn didn’t want to lose so he forfeited the title and was back in the ring by May. This is the famous Lost My Smile speech and not a lot of the guys in the back bought it to put it mildly.

Shawn gets all teary eyed and talks about his body being beaten up and all that jazz. HUGE We Want Sid, the guy that might have been winning the title that night depending on who you ask. No one has had to endure the schedule that Shawn had over the years etc. This is rather sickening knowing what’s actually going on here. Do I think he was hurt? Yeah he was somewhat hurt but at the end of the day he was looking out for himself here far more than anyone else when Shawn as a heel could have worked very well but he was afraid of doing it.

He talks about how he’s not going to be around the title for a long time. The doctors aren’t sure where his knee is and he may be beyond reconstructive surgery at this point. Shawn talks about riding in leer jets and limousines as I have a feeling like I’ve heard this before. You also have to remember that the WWF was in real trouble at this point and had it not been for Austin they would have been dead. He hands the belt to Monsoon and says he’s going back home. Shawn says that somewhere along the line he lost his smile. Oh dear.

Overall my thought on this is Shawn knew what was really going on and he put his ego over the fans, the company, the title and the rest of his roster. He had no problem taking all the benefits of being champion but didn’t want to do the harder parts of it (like losing) and that to me isn’t right. The fans were mixed to put it mildly on this. This would have been fine at its time, but given that he would be back before the summer kills any sympathy this would have had.

Savio Vega vs. Undertaker

 

Savio turned heel recently and joined the Nation. Taker was feuding with them for lack of anything better to do. He would win the title at Mania so it seems like he got noticed. After a break we’re back with Taker destroying him. The announcers talk about Bret vs. Vader but it’s not as bad as it was in the tag match. Why in the world am I watching Savio Vega vs. the Undertaker? Who thought this was a good idea?

Taker hits a big boot and stumbles back from it. Leg drop gets two on Savio. Not yet Old School hits as this is one sided for the most part. There are still tickets available for the PPV in Chattanooga. Savio gets a low blow and a set of clotheslines to get two. The other members of the Nation interfere a bit as we’re waiting for Taker to end Savio.

The fans chant rest in peace. My goodness how nice does it sound to be able to take a nap and let someone else do this? Or just to not watch this at all? Savio gets a spinwheel kick to put Taker down for two. Since that’s his finisher the rest of the match is pretty predictable. Taker is finally bored with all this and hits a chokeslam to end it.

Rating: D-. Oh dang it all this was boring. Nothing at all was going on here and it never got interesting. It’s nearly NINE MINUTES LONG. Why in the world did this need nearly ten minutes? It’s Undertaker vs. Savio Vega for crying out loud. Boring match and one of the least interesting things I’ve seen in a good while.

Nation attacks, Ahmed saves, Nation lackeys are hurt.

Psycho Sid vs. Steve Austin

 

After Austin’s entrance, Gorilla says that the four guys have a golden opportunity on Sunday. Sid will get his title shot and will get it against the winner of the Final Four match this coming Monday. Sid would face Bret and win the title. Sid was mad over to say the least. Austin jumps Sid to start and the fight was on. Jerry picks Austin to win the title on Sunday.

Austin kicks Sid low and does Sid’s taunts as this is a total battle from the bell. Fans are TOTALLY behind Austin which is saying a lot considering how over Sid was at this point. Austin sends him into the post and takes him down in the ring with an elbow. This is pre-neck injury for Austin so he’s a completely different guy than the brawler he would become. Abdominal stretch by Austin but Sid gets a sleeper. And never mind as Austin suplexes him almost immediately.

Off to a front facelock so they can call some spots. JR says it’ll be Austin as well on Sunday while Vince says it’ll be Sid. You know, the guy that isn’t in the match Sunday? Sid hammers him down and misses a legdrop so Austin tries a failed Sharpshooter. Big boot takes Austin down and then Bret comes out to fight Austin and it’s a DQ win for Stone Cold.

Rating: C+. This was a brawl with the fans telling you a lot about what they wanted. You had a crazy dude in Sid and Austin being the anti-authority figure that everyone wanted to see. Thankfully Vince listened and everything turned out well in the end. This was a fun brawl and that’s all it needed to be.

Bret and Sid fight while Austin laughs.

Vader stumbles through an interview where he says he’s beaten everyone in the Final Four match recently.

Lawler talks about sending his mom money for Valentine’s Day. This is being written on the night Lawler faced Miz for the WWE Title at the Elimination Chamber where Lawler was talking about his mother passing away the previous week so that’s kind of sad to hear.

We replay part of the Shawn speech about losing his smile. Did you check under that copy of “How to Fake a Knee Injury?” When Vince hugs Shawn you can see him thinking “You bastard!!!”

Tag Titles: Farooq/Crush vs. British Bulldog/Owen Hart

 

Bulldog and Hart had the titles forever in one of the longest title reigns in history. No one since has had a longer WWF/E tag title reign that I can remember. That doesn’t count the Smackdown tag titles made in 2002 mind you. Owen vs. Crush to start and the Canadian gets a cross body for two. Over to Bulldog as Crush throws Owen around a bit.

We take a break just after Farooq tags in. Vince says that if anything significant happens while we’re gone it’ll be shown. Nothing is shown so that means nothing of note is happening during a title match. That sounds like blasphemy to Vince to me. Owen and Bulldog had been having issues lately and they do here as well, resulting in Bulldog being in trouble.

Bret is watching the match and says that what Shawn said was sad. We got split screen to do this of course so we can barely see the match. Bulldog is getting beaten down here if you’re curious. Bret says that there’s no way around Vader so Bret will have to do something different than he did last time when he lost. It’s Hitman Time, not Vader Time.

Ah hey it’s the full match rather than the split one. Owen starts a Bulldog chant even though the Bulldog is getting crushed out there. Hey that was funny and wasn’t even supposed to be! I kill myself sometimes. Crush gets a bodyscissors. Vince: “Speaking of body scissors, how would you like to be bodyscissored by La Femme Nikita, coming up next on USA!” That man is a natural salesman if there has ever been one.

The fans chant what sounds like Bulldog/Owen but it’s not really clear. Maybe if it was in a town bigger than Lowell, Massachusetts that would go a bit better. Bulldog reverses a bearhug with a belly to belly but can’t get a tag. Owen gets tagged but it’s not seen in a classic tag team move. Smith finally gets an enziguri to bring in Owen who cleans house. Missile dropkick to Crush gets two and it all breaks down. We hit the floor and Owen might have injured his knee. Injured or HBK-ified, it’s good enough for the count out to end this.

Rating: D+. I just wasn’t feeling this one at all. The idea was to plug the whole fighting amongst themselves champions and while that happened this felt rushed and a big forced. Not a terrible match but it just kind of came and went. The knee injury never went anywhere that I can remember.

The Nation beats down Bulldog post match while Owen tries to fix his knee. Bulldog helps him out but Owen limps back to get the belts. That’s nice subtle heel stuff.

Vader vs. Bret Hart

 

Main event time here. Before we get started though Taker comes out to watch. Oh and he’s got a loud mic. He hates to interrupt but Taker gets no respect anymore. This is a very un-Deadman like promo. He’s talking fast and sounds more like Biker Taker than Deadman Taker. Vader jumps Bret as Taker leaves and Hart is in trouble early on as we take a break.

Apparently just after they went to a break Austin came out and stomped on Bret some before being sent to the back. Vader goes up and Bret catches him in a POWERSLAM??? WHAT THE HECK??? Bret pounds away and gets a terrible looking Russian Leg Sweep for two. It might have helped if he actually, you know, swept the leg? BRET SLAMS VADER!!!! WHAT IN THE WORLD AM I WATCHING????? He picked him up like he was a cruiserweight and just turned him over for a slam like it was nothing. WHAT THE HECK?????

Bret can’t get the Sharpshooter. Well I guess he was in Power Bret mode or something. Dude Bret Hart slammed Vader. I can’t get over that. Why not a belly to back suplex too? Bret is throwing Vader around like he weighs 180. Bret low bridges Vader and there’s the Sharpshooter but Vader grabs a rope. Austin pops up in the balcony to yell at Bret and Vader drills the Canadian from behind. Vadersault misses and Bret gets the easy pin to end the show.

Rating: D+. Not bad but it was ok I guess. I really can’t get over that slam. Bret Hart just picked Vader up like he was picking up a Slurpie. This was just a match to set up the PPV for the most part with nothing special going on at all. Austin’s interference felt rushed as did Taker’s at the beginning. Either way the match at the PPV was great.

Overall Rating: C-. Well there’s certainly a lot of history here but the delivery isn’t that great. Shawn’s speech doesn’t really mean a lot anymore as he more or less just took a vacation. This wasn’t that bad though and considering the card had to be shuffled earlier in the week as did the PPV, this was pretty solid. Not great, but good enough for what it was.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Monday Night Raw – February 11, 2013: Raw Is Rolling To The Chamber

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 11, 2013
Location: Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

It’s the last week before Elimination Chamber and the word on the street is that there’s going to be another Elimination Chamber match announced, although in the form of a three on three WarGames style match. I’d be more than cool with this as the Chamber is the only way they’re going to be able to use the idea in WWE due to the size of the extra ring taking up too much space. Rock is in the house too. Let’s get to it.

Heyman opens the show and talks about all the sacrifices he’s made over the years with a focus on ECW. Then he came to WWE (F at the time) and saw a rookie named Brock Lesnar. Heyman turned him into the Next Big Thing and saw a man that could carry WWE into the future and break Sammartino’s record. Oh wait he means Punk should have broken the record.

Apparently something very bad is going to happen and the Sword of Damocles is hanging over Paul’s head, but it’s going to fall onto Punk’s head. Therefore, tonight he’s going to tender his resignation, because he isn’t going to distract Punk from winning the title back. He’s going to miss Punk but he’ll be cheering for him.

Cue Punk with a concerned look on his face. Paul says that Vince believes that he was behind Shield, Lesnar and Maddox and even though he wasn’t, it doesn’t matter. Punk says both he and the people look up to him so he can’t leave. Heyman says he told Punk when he started that in the land of the McMahons, perception is reality.

What happened at the Rumble is nothing compared to what’s coming, so remember him as a friend and not a martyr. Punk says forget all this because on Sunday, everything will be back to normal. He’ll win the title and Heyman will be in his corner. Paul says he’ll be there on Sunday and they hug. Ok then.

Great Khali vs. Mark Henry

Apparently Mysterio was injured last week so he’s out of the Chamber. He wasn’t at the house show I was at last night so maybe there’s something to that. We’ve currently got Bryan, Orton and Henry inside there. Henry pounds Khali into the corner to start but runs into an elbow and boot to slow him down. Henry shrugs it off and hits some clotheslines to put Khali down and the World’s Strongest Slam ends this at 1:34.

Horny gets a slam as well post match.

Jericho wants in the Chamber but Booker says he has to beat Daniel Bryan first. Booker yells at Teddy a bit too, and we get a Jericho impression of Booker for fun.

Vickie is on the phone with someone when Heyman comes in. Paul wants a stipulation added to the title match Sunday but a phone call from Vince interrupts them. Heyman asks to talk to Vince so Vickie turns speaker on. Paul apologizes to Vince for what Lesnar did and knows that Vince will be back soon. Vince tells him to shut up and wants to know the stipulation Heyman had in mind. Paul suggests that if Rock gets counted out or DQ’ed that Punk gets the title back. Vince says put it in writing and it’s a deal before hanging up. We get dial tone off an iPhone 5. Methinks this is fake.

Fandango is coming. I saw him last night and I don’t want to see him again.

Daniel Bryan vs. Chris Jericho

We start things off with a feeling out process as Cole talks about the history between these two on the first season of NXT. Jericho sends him to the apron but misses the springboard dropkick. Bryan hits the suicide dive and we take a break. Back with more back and forth action, such as Bryan hitting a clothesline but having a running dropkick into the corner countered into a Walls attempt.

The Lionsault hits knees though and Bryan goes up. Jericho breaks up whatever Daniel was going to try though and tries a superplex, only to be knocked off, giving us the FLYING GOAT HEADBUTT for two. Jericho tries for the Walls again but gets countered into a NO Lock. Jericho rolls through again and loads up the Walls, only for Bryan to roll through and kick him in the chest. A rollup gets two for Chris and after ducking another kick, Jericho hits the Codebreaker for the pin at 10:48.

Rating: B-. Solid match here but you knew that was going to be the case when it was happening. Bryan looked fine here, but again I can’t stand that they have one guy get into the Chamber by beating someone already in it. It makes one of the people look weak going into the match, and that’s not good. It’s ok when you do it for one guy at most, but doing it with nearly half the people is annoying.

3MB vs. Sheamus/John Cena/Ryback

Methinks this isn’t going to last long. Slater vs. Ryback gets things going and there’s Warrior gorilla press drop to start. Off to Sheamus vs. McIntyre with Sheamus pounding away quickly. A right hand to the face slows Sheamus down but he comes right back with the forearms to the chest. Off to Cena vs. Mahal and Cena gives a look as if to say “let’s get this over with.” John easily knocks him down and hits the Shuffle before everything breaks down. We get stereo AA/Shell Shock and White Noise with Cena pinning Mahal at 2:50.

Regarding the six man, this was perfect. We got to see how awesome these three can be together, it was short, and it’s not like 3MB loses anything here. I liked this a lot and the idea and execution were perfect.

Ryback says he’s going to feast on Sunday. Sheamus says he doesn’t believe in the Shield but he believes they can fight tonight instead. Cena says if they want some come get some.

We get a clip of Del Rio breaking Show’s bus on Friday and pouring paint on him. Earlier today Alex Riley and Yoshi Tatsu were laughing about it and Show massacred them.

Here’s Big Show to the ring so he can knock out Matt Striker. Show picks up the mic and walks out. Ok then.

Sammartino HOF video.

Zack Ryder vs. Jack Swagger

Dutch Mantel of all people, known here as Zeb Coulter, is with Swagger here. Ryder hits a fast Broski Boot to start but gets sent to the floor for a belly to belly suplex. Back in and Swagger pounds away before hitting a buckle bomb to stop Zack dead. The gutwrench bomb and Patriot Act end this at 2:40.

Post match Coulter goes on a rant about how this isn’t his America anymore. He sees people that don’t look like him that he can’t understand anymore. Coultier wants to get rid of these people and oh dear goodness this ABSOLUTELY CANNOT END WELL. I’m a big political geek and this sounds like a Tea Party character. This cannot end well. Period.

Booker says Swagger is in the Chamber now. Ziggler comes up to whine about Jericho being in the Chamber and says that if he’s in, Ziggler wants in. Booker makes Ziggler vs. Kane, winner gets the last spot in the Chamber.

We recap Lesnar beating up Miz last week.

The Miz vs. Cody Rhodes

Cesaro is on commentary because the feud continues. Feeling out process to start with Rhodes taking over, hitting a running knee to the face for two. Off to an armbar for a bit but Miz comes back with a flapjack. We head to the floor where Cody is sent into the apron, but Miz has to stop and kick a charging Cesaro in the face. Cesaro gets up and posts Miz for the DQ at 3:03.

Rating: D+. This was all for the ending because Cesaro has only beaten Miz once or twice now. I will give them this though: at least they didn’t have Rhodes lose clean, which would have been probably the worst thing they could have done. I’m guessing we get Miz vs. Cesaro on Sunday now.

Post match Cesaro grabs Miz and hits a kind of giant swing, but each time Miz is rammed head first into the barricade. That was pretty awesome.

Wrestlemania Reading Challenge video.

Brodus Clay/Tensai vs. Primo/Epico

Tensai and I think Epico start things off and the fat man takes over. House is quickly cleaned and it’s the suplex from Brodue and the backsplash to Primo for the pin at 1:11.

Post match it’s time to dance. Of and Rosa gets thrown to the floor and beaten up by the Funkadactyls.

Here’s Shield to talk about how they’re here to shield us from atrocities. They call out the three guys that challenged them earlier to a fight right now but there’s no one coming. Rollins says Cena fails every day just by existing, and on Sunday he’ll fail again. Ambrose talks about how Cena lives in his own little world with no idea what the real world is like.

Cena has set the standard for everyone in this generation and is the reason a lot of them are here today. They call out all three guys again and there go the lights. They come back up and it’s Cena, Ryback and Sheamus in the ring to start the brawl. It heads into the crowd and the Shield runs.

We recap the Punk/Heyman segment from earlier.

Damien Sandow makes fun of Nashville’s taste in music.

Damien Sandow vs. Alberto Del Rio

Sandow starts fast and hits a Russian legsweep and the Wind-Up Elbow for no cover. Del Rio avoids a clothesline in the corner and fires off some clotheslines. The tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Sandow down and there’s the low superkick for two. The Cross Armbreaker ends this at 1:16.

Del Rio praises Big Show’s promo earlier (where he didn’t say anything) because the time for talking is done. It won’t be in a bus or a hotel room, because the only place Del Rio wants to go is Wrestlemania.

Barrett is on the way to the ring when Bo Dallas jumps him.

Kofi Kingston vs. Wade Barrett

Barrett is shaken up because of being attacked. Kofi takes over to start but Wade comes right back with some knees to the ribs and an elbow to the face for one. Off to a chinlock for a few seconds but Kofi hits a jawbreaker to escape. A kind of splash to the back of the bent over Barrett (for you indy fans, think Delirious’ Shadows Over Hell) gets two as does a top rope cross body. Another springboard misses and the Winds of Change get two for Wade. The Bull Hammer and Trouble in Paradise miss but as Kofi goes to the floor, the Hammer hits for the pin at 3:02.

Rating: C-. Well he won at least. That’s better than you can say for most matches for the midcard champion anymore. There wasn’t much to see here but Kofi is always good for a decent performance. Barrett vs. Dallas has some potential to be good and the feud is shaping up pretty well.

Kane vs. Dolph Ziggler

The winner gets to join Bryan, Swagger, Orton, Henry and Jericho in the Chamber. Kane slugs him down to start as Cole and Lawler talk about Valentine’s Day. Ziggler comes back with a dropkick and some stomping to the back before pounding away in the corner. Kane tosses Ziggler into the air to slow him down but Dolph bails to the floor to avoid a chokeslam.

We take a break and come back with Kane charging into a boot in the corner. Ziggler gets up onto the corner, only to get knocked off via an uppercut. Langston stands over Ziggler as if to say bring it on Kane but Ziggy takes Kane down before the showdown. Back in and Ziggler fires off a bunch of elbow drops but his cross body is caught.

Ziggler escapes again and hits the jumping DDT for no cover. Off to the sleeper for a bit but Kane slams him down, only to get caught with the Fameasser. Kane comes back with the side slam and goes up, but AJ gets the distraction. She gets knocked into Langston which distracts Ziggler just enough for the chokeslam to put Kane in the Chamber at 10:20.

Rating: C+. This was a pretty decent match with Kane being his usual decent self. His style fits well with small athletic guys so it was no shock that the match was a success. Ziggler jobs again despite being likely to win the championship in a few months at worst. That’s WWE for you, although Ziggler being concerned about AJ is a new development.

Video on how the Chamber works.

Here’s Rock to end the show. He says that right now is Story Time with the Rock. In 1987, Rock and his family moved to Nashville, Tennessee. Rock signed up for high school as a 6’4, 220lbs fifteen year old. Unfortunately he couldn’t get anything from the girls because they thought he was an undercover cop. Since he was so big, he hung out at a bar with his boy Downtown Bruno (Harvey Wippleman’s character).

One night at the bar someone showed up (“No not Jeff Jarrett.”) but it wasn’t the person he was hoping it was: Willie Nelson. Instead it was a crackhead who had a car to sell. He wanted $75 so Rock gave him a $40 down payment. “Yeah at 15 years old Rock was hustling a crackhead in a bar.” He was out driving it when he found out that there was another crackhead in the back seat. Rock threw the crackhead out and then thought the car might be stolen. So he ditched the car at 2am in a Burger King parking lot and walked right back to Tootsie’s Lounge, which I guess is a popular place in Nashville.

Two lessons from the story: if you’re buying a car, don’t buy it from a crackhead. Also, don’t be like Rock at 15. Instead be like him at 25 when he had his first match at the Nashville Fairgrounds. Those matches got him started on the road to where he is today, which is where he’ll be after Elimination Chamber: on top of the world as WWE Champion.

This brings out Punk but Rock says that he’s ready to go right now. There goes the shirt but Punk stops before he gets to the ring. Scratch that as Punk charges in and Rock beats him into the corner. There’s the spinebuster but Heyman breaks up the Elbow. The GTS takes out Rock and Punk walks off with the title. Punk says that if Rock brings it, Punk will take it. He poses with the belt to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was a pretty sweet show as we had a running theme of the Chamber going. Rock sells the PPV as only he can and we’ve got a good six man to give the top stars something to do until the real build to Wrestlemania starts. This was a really solid show though, political “insights” aside. Good stuff here.

Results

Mark Henry b. Great Khali – World’s Strongest Slam

Chris Jericho b. Daniel Bryan – Codebreaker

Ryback/John Cena/Sheamus b. 3MB – Attitude Adjustment to Slater

Jack Swagger b. Zack Ryder – Patriot Act

Brodus Clay/Tensai b. Primo/Epico – Backsplash to Primo

Alberto Del Rio b. Damien Sandow – Cross Armbreaker

Wade Barrett b. Kofi Kingston – Bull Hammer

Kane b. Dolph Ziggler – Chokeslam

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and remember to pick up my new ebook of 1998 Monday Night Raw Reviews on Amazon at:




Monday Night Raw – January 7, 2002: The Loudest Ovation I Have Ever Heard

The year of 2001 is gone and we’re now into the year that might be even worse in 2002. At this point we’re getting close to the Brand Split that has dominated the company since it first started. On the Raw side, the year would be dominated by some surprising champions in the form of Undertaker and Hulk Hogan, but by the end of the ear we’ll be getting a DX reunion and a big feud over the newly created World Heavyweight Championship. This is the first full year when WWF had no competition so let’s get to it.

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 7, 2002
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 13,978
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

It’s the night of the loudest pop I’ve ever heard in wrestling as HHH is back from eight months of recovery from quadriceps surgery. To say there’s nothing else going on tonight is an understatement, but that’s going to be the case for a lot of these shows in the future. We’re coming up on the Rumble and if you can’t guess who is winning that, I can’t help you. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is set to Beautiful Day as HHH is back tonight.

Tonight we have a tag team contest “for the ages.” It’s Booker T/Big Boss Man vs. Rock/Austin. If those are the ages, then the ages are lost.

Here’s Vince to open things up with a blue box. This is during the time where he and Flair co-owned the company and Vince isn’t happy. We get a montage of Flair’s triumphs of the 80s and 90s, which would be much better if it wasn’t set to Cocky by Kid Rock. We also get a clip of Flair announcing himself as the new co-owner of the WWF. Then Flair challenged Vince to a match at the Rumble and punched Vince out at the same time. Vince goes to the box and pulls out….a Flair wig and robe. He does a Flair strut which finally brings out Naitch. Stupid sign of the night in the crowd: “Rick Flair is God.”

Flair talks all slow and respectful before going into a classic rant, talking about how McMahon will NEVER do this again no matter what. He says he’s Ric Flair and Vince is not so take the wig off RIGHT NOW. As Vince takes the robe off though, he blasts Flair in the head with a hidden pipe. Flair gets posted and stomped on for a bit as well.

Test vs. Rob Van Dam

The idea here is that Test can do whatever he wants because he has immunity from a battle royal win at Survivor Series. Test pounds away to start but Van Dam comes back with a spinwheel kick to take over. Another spin kick is caught in a kind of powerbomb and the Canadian pounds away on the head. A clothesline in the corner gets two and it’s off to the chinlock already. Rob fights up and escapes a suplex before kicking Test’s leg out.

Van Dam kicks Test down but Test kicks the referee into the ropes for the crotch. The referee and Test get in a shoving match which gives Van Dam two. Test misses the big boot so Van Dam kicks him to the floor where Test grabs a chair. The referee is shoved down again and it’s the Van Daminator to set up the Five Star for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was just ok for the most part. The Test storyline didn’t really go anywhere as at the end of the day, he’s just Test. He was a whiny guy that never did anything of note after the year 2000, so why should anyone care that he’s shoving referees around? Nothing to see here.

Angle is annoyed at HHH getting all the attention when he isn’t even here. He has a big announcement of his own, but he’ll save it for later.

Trish and Terri argue at WWF New York, resulting in a wet t-shirt contest later tonight. This was back when Trish was a blonde head of hair and a big rack and nothing more.

Billy and Chuck vs. Scotty 2 Hotty/Albert

Billy and Chuck aren’t entirely gay yet, but Billy does suggest that they should be in the wet t-shirt contest rather than the girls. Billy and Albert get things going and it’s Albert taking over on both of the guys in red. We get the COMEDY spot of Billy being sent into the corner and falling face first into Chuck’s crotch because that’s funny right? Scotty comes in with a neckbreaker for two on Chuck but Billy blasts him in the back to take over. The heels take over for a bit, but Scotty comes back with a DDT on Chuck to put both guys down.

There’s the hot tag to Albert as the fans are nearly comatose. A powerslam gets two on Chuck and there’s a splash in the corner to Billy. Chuck hits Billy by mistake and Scotty loads up the Worm. After a dancing accompaniment by Albert, the Worm gets two but Billy breaks it up. Chuck superkicks Albert down and the Fameasser is enough to pin Scotty.

Rating: D. This would be your second straight lame match that doesn’t accomplish anything and is really here just to fill in some time. I’d almost think that they were intentionally having a boring show so that HHH’s return looks all the more awesome, but they would NEVER do something like that right?

Jericho demands more respect and doesn’t want to face Rikishi, even in a non-title match. Oh and he sucks up to Vince for a bit.

Michael Cole is in a yellow shirt and is WAY too excited. Austin comes up and gives him the still fresh WHAT treatment. Austin says he saw HHH here in the back and he isn’t sure what to think of it. He knows what it’s like to come back from a nearly career ending injury. That being said, he didn’t want to say hi to HHH.

Tonight he’s here to enter the Royal Rumble, which is the match where you take a man and throw him over the top, then you take another (WHAT), then another (WHAT), repeat I kid you not 28 times. He actually said it that many times. Also tonight Austin is teaming up with the Rock, which prompts a bunch of WHAT’s. Austin is really into this at the moment and it’s working really well.

Lawler has a watergun and gets to emcee the t-shirt contest.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. Lance Storm

Edge is defending. Storm immediately jumps Edge and clotheslines him in the corner. They trade some fast rollups and Storm hooks the Canadian Maple Leaf (half crab). That goes nowhere so Edge elbows him in the face a few times and hits the Impaler to retain. This was barely a minute long.

William Regal jumps Edge as he leaves and it’s the Power of the Punch for the champion.

Buy the WWF Magazine to read EVEN MORE about HHH.

Angle complains to European Champion Christian about HHH returning. It was Angle that saved the company at Survivor Series and it’s Angle that brings happiness and joy to children every day. They make fun of Beautiful Day for a bit too before Angle gets in this gem: “I tore my quadricep this morning and I’m here tonight!” When Angle is on, he’s WAY on and he certainly was here.

Steve Austin/The Rock vs. Big Bossman/Booker T

Booker and Boss Man are Vince’s cronies and they’re fighting the heroes. It’s a big brawl to start of course with Rock vs. Booker on the floor and a Thesz Press to Boss Man back inside. They switch partners and it’s Austin vs. Booker to start things off. A hot shot puts Booker down as Boss Man is rammed into the table a few times. Austin throws Booker to the floor so Rock throws Boss Man inside.

It’s time to stomp a mudhole as the Super Best Friends are completely dominant so far. Another clothesline puts Boss Man down and it’s off to Rock. The big jumping clothesline gets two for Rocky but Boss Man hits a kind of running clothesline in the corner to take over. Off to Rock who gets his face slammed into the mat, only to come back and send Rock to the floor. Back in and Booker stomps away but Rock pops up for a quick slugout.

A spinebuster puts Booker down but Boss Man breaks up the People’s Elbow. There’s the Book End but Austin comes in to break up something that hadn’t started yet. Boss Man comes in to fire off a knee to Rock’s chest and Booker adds a superkick for two. Austin comes in to break things up again and this time it’s enough for the hot tag to the Rattlesnake. Boss Man seems to have issues with any spot where he has to be lifted into the air. Everything breaks down for a third time and the Stunner pins Boss Man.

Rating: D+. Tag match for the ages? This? This was two legends beating up a big name and a guy who was over the hill nine years before this. It was clear that Austin was losing steam at this point as there was no fire in him here at all. He wasn’t terrible looking or anything, but at the end of the day he’s beating up Big Boss Man. Can you blame him for bailing in a few months?

Beer is consumed.

Apparently Rikishi gave Test a Stinkface recently.

Rikishi vs. Chris Jericho

Non-title here. Rikishi shoves him around to start and loads up a quick Stinkface, only to have referee Nick Patrick block it for no apparent reason. We head to the floor where Jericho rips the padding off the barricade and whips the fat man into it to take over. Back inside we go and Jericho gets two off a missile dropkick. The Lionsault misses though and the fat man starts his comeback.

A kind of Alabama Slam puts Jericho down and there’s a Samoan Drop for no cover. Rikishi loads up the Banzai Drop but Patrick blocks it again. After shoving him away, Rikishi misses the Banzai and Jericho heads to the floor. He grabs one of the belts but the swing misses and Rikishi superkicks Jericho into Patrick. A Stinkface only hits the referee and it’s a belt shot to Rikishi’s non-stereotyped head for the pin.

Rating: D. Did we really need a crooked referee, a belt shot and a cheating win for Chris Jericho to beat Rikishi in less than four and a half minutes? The match was dull and mainly there for the chance of Rikishi hitting a Stinkface, which isn’t really all that interesting at the end of the day. Another nothing match.

Big Show, Torrie and Tajiri have an awkward moment talking about HHH until Angle comes in and accuses them of acting like teenagers at a Ricky Martin concert. Tajiri does a Martin impression. Next.

We recap the Vince/Flair thing earlier.

The Dudleys get in a confrontation with Tazz and Spike, who they defend against in a bit. Wouldn’t this be better suited for more than five minutes before the match?

Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Spike Dudley/Tazz

This is hardcore for no apparent reason and Stacy is with the Dudleys. It’s a brawl to start with Spike being sent into the steps. Bubba sprays him with a fire extinguisher as the fans want tables. Spike tries a sunset flip on Bubba, only to get blasted with the extinguisher again. A HARD trashcan lid to the face puts Tazz down and What’s Up Tazz? Bubba wants tables but whispers it because he’s evil right now.

Tazz is almost put through but Spike makes the save with a stop sign. There’s a Tazmission to D-Von but Tazz has to let it go to move a table. Stacy flashes Tazz to distract him but Bubba gets the view instead, allowing for a suplex onto a table. Spike puts him through the table with a Dudley Dog for the upset and the titles.

Rating: D+. The match was fast paced but not all that great. The problem here was that at the end of the day, does anyone buy Spike and Tazz as a long term championship team? It was clear that they were transitional champions, which is ok, but it doesn’t do much overall. The live crowd loved this though and there was a match before this to set it up, so it was far better than some other angles I’ve seen that tried to do the same thing.

Undertaker says he’s winning the Rumble, and wishes HHH bad luck.

It’s time for the wet t-shirt contest now. Terri goes first and Jerry freaks out as you can see through her shirt. Trish leans against the ropes to get wetted down, but Jazz runs in to beat her down and end the contest. This was about what you would expect from it.

Here’s the reason this show exists: HHH makes his return to the absolutely loudest pop I have ever heard in MSG and likely the loudest I’ve ever heard anywhere. I mean the place EXPLODES. He poses for a good long while as the fans will not stop cheering. That’s very awesome when you think about it. HHH says he’s the Game and he’s back to another huge reaction. He officially enters the Rumble and here’s Angle to break it up. Kurt says that he too will be in the Rumble which is the big announcement he’s been talking about all night. The brawl is on and HHH of course gets the better of it, hitting a Pedigree to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This show isn’t bad but it’s clear that all they’ve got to hope for at this point is HHH. His return was awesome, but they’re not going to have an MSG crowd to bail them out of a weak show week after week. Next week is the go home show for the Rumble though so we’ve got a lot of changes coming up which would be changed even more in a few months. Not a terrible show but it’s nothing worth seeing other than the end.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews