Bash at the Beach 1999
Date: July 11, 1999
Location: National Car Rental Center, Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Attendance: 13,624
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

We’re going in a new direction at this point in WCW as the promotion has gone from really boring to freaking insane in the course of a few weeks. A good chunk of this show was booked within the last few weeks and knowing the stories isn’t likely going to help me get through it. Let’s get to it.

I’ve actually seen this show far more often than I should as I found it at a Blockbuster for $2 when I was about thirteen. It took many years to suppress those memories but here we go again.

The opening video is a wordless montage about the four men in the main event. I mean, if there’s one story that doesn’t need a verbal explanation, it’s one about Savage and Sid trying to kill Nash and then the heroic champion kidnapping and potentially raping Gorgeous George, causing Savage to throw her out of their dressing room with a side plot of Sting potentially driving the Hummer that nearly killed Nash and then Nash changing the rules of the tag match so that anyone, including his partner, can pin him for the title. Also for some reason they air the video then show it about five more times as a very fast speed.

Tony says the tag match tonight started as a tag match. It was once going to be Sting/Nash vs. Savage/Sid in a tag team match, but it’s now Sting/Nash vs. Savage/Sid in a tag team match. No that’s not a misprint.

After those words of wisdom, Schiavone explains the junkyard match and the boxing match before throwing it to Gene for a Hotline ad.

Mike Tenay is at the junkyard, which he knows about because his sources told him where to go. Apparently there’s going to be a ring of cars with a bunch of obstacles to get around and the first person to jump over a fence and escape wins. This company is rapidly becoming more of a parody of wrestling than an actual wrestling promotion.

Video on the Cat vs. Disco Inferno. Cat had a kickboxing match with Jerry Flynn and lost via DQ so Flynn took him down in a brawl after the match. He and Disco had a dance off a week earlier, making the kickboxing stuff completely pointless.

Disco Inferno vs. The Cat

The original stipulation was the loser could never dance again but that has since been dropped. The lawyers must be working overtime as the match was announced three days ago and the stipulation was never mentioned on Thunder. Miller rants before the match and wants another dance contest before we get going. He demands that the people all vote for him or else he’ll beat them all up. Tony explains that he’ll lose because he threatened the fans because WCW thinks we’re rather thick headed. Disco dances for about two seconds before Cat goes after him and we’re ready to go.

Inferno starts like a kitchen of fire (not enough for a whole house) and sends Miller sliding out to the floor. Back in and Cat nails a few kicks, so Disco just tackles him to the mat and hammers away. Some atomic drops from Disco set up some miscommunication on what looked to be his swinging neckbreaker.

Cat comes back with a kick to the head and walks around as Sonny gets in a few shots of his own. Those are as effective as you would expect since Sonny, a legitimately accomplished karate fighter, is a manager and therefore incapable of hurting anyone. Back in and Disco grabs a quick sunset flip for two but gets his head kicked off again.

Another kick misses though and Disco legsweeps him down, setting up a middle rope elbow for two. Cat rakes the eyes and puts on the shoe, only to have Disco take it away and blast him in the face. Sonny’s distraction makes it only a two count though, allowing Cat to put the shoe back on and kick Disco for about the fifth time for the pin.

Rating: D. This really was the best thing they could think of to start a show? It’s really hard to care about a match with no build, no value and nothing beyond basic moves. The fact that it had Ernest Miller in there made things even less interesting. It’s not even a horrible match or anything, but there’s just no reason to care about something like that.

Judge Mills Lane won’t put up with any garbage tonight and will chase Bagwell or Piper if need be.

We recap the TV Title match. The video starts with Van Hammer surviving against Disco Inferno because the referee was down and a handful of tights. Then Flair saved Hammer from getting put through a table by banning hardcore matches, allowing Hammer to hit Hugh Morrus with a table and drive him through it. Somehow that earned him a TV Title shot here.

TV Title: Rick Steiner vs. Van Hammer

Keep in mind that there really isn’t a face in this match as there’s no reason to like either guy. Steiner comes out first for no apparent reason. They trade hard shots to the face to start and Steiner is knocked out to the floor. Steiner goes into his new standard of just driving someone down to the mat and ripping at their face a lot. Back up and Rick hammers away before taking Hammer outside to send him into the barricade.

Rick hits a horrible looking DDT on the exposed concrete and covers on the floor to continue getting on my nerves. Back in and Hammer hits him low, only to have Rick punch him in the face to take over again. They head outside one more time with Hammer nailing him in the head with a chair before taking him back inside for the Alabama Slam for two. Steiner bites him between the legs, punts him in the same spot (referee just watches him) and hits the Steiner Bulldog to retain.

Rating: F. Rick Steiner has reached the point where he’s an embarrassment. Between never selling anything from a chair shot to a low blow, there’s just nothing Hammer (who isn’t the guy you want carrying a bag of groceries, let alone a PPV title match) can do. What WCW saw in him other than name recognition I’ll never know, but if someone thinks he’s skilled in the ring, they have no business being in charge of a wrestling company.

We get an overhead view of the junkyard, which really just looks like a parking lot with a bunch of cars stacked up in a circle. The winner gets a trophy but Tenay can’t answer who is going to be in the match because it’s unsanctioned.

We recap David Flair being named US Champion, meaning we just see the segment again. Again, weren’t the Flairs fighting months ago about David siding with Torrie and having his father hold him down? Now David has ten women around him (including Torrie) and his dad made him US Title. That’s a big jump in the span of five months.

US Title: Dean Malenko vs. David Flair

David is defending of course and comes out with Torrie, in a very pushed up tied off top, shirt that might be nine inches long, and a black cowboy hat. Ric, Arn and Asya are here too but Johnny Boone is refereeing. Tony says David hasn’t been impressive in all of his title defenses. You know, all one of them.

Dean of course throws him down with ease and stomps away in the corner before planting David with a suplex. Ric comes in but gets decked as Dean puts on the Cloverleaf. Anderson nails the referee with a spinebuster, allowing Robinson to take over as referee. Dean Cloverleafs Asya but Ric nails him with the US Title to give David the pin.

Rating: F. Dang it this was just long enough to grade. As I said in the Nitro review, I get the idea they’re going for here, but wasn’t there another scrub you could put in there instead of Malenko? I know Dean isn’t going to be headlining a PPV anytime soon, but he’s the kind of guy that should actually be the US Champion. This kind of story is good in the right circumstances, but WCW isn’t in a place where they can turn yet another title into a joke and keep beating their midcard guys into the ground, even in a match that doesn’t end anywhere near clean.

Long recap of the Rednecks vs. the No Limit Soldiers, complete with the full I Hate Rap video. Barry Windham is such a talented drummer that he just scares the drums into playing themselves because he certainly isn’t hitting them. This includes a lot of shouting HOOTY HOO, which amazingly enough didn’t get the rappers over. Master P. is long gone, apparently saying that there weren’t enough of “his people” in the audience for the night the angle took off. That would be in P.’s hometown in New Orleans if you aren’t big on guys who shout like owls.

No Limit Solders vs. West Texas Rednecks

Swoll, B.A., Rey Mysterio Jr., Konnan

Curt Hennig, Barry Windham, Kendall Windham, Bobby Duncum Jr.

Elimination tag, which I believe is the first explanation of the rules for this match. The best part of this: the camera comes back to the arena early, showing ring announcer David Penzer counting the fans down on when to cheer. Tony fails at covering for him by saying that he was saying hi to his five family members in the audience. The levels that this company falls to when trying to cover their mistakes is astounding. Heenan redeems things a bit by saying that the Soldiers’ problem could be solved if they just put a light in their closets. Rey and Konnan make sure to shout a lot before we’re ready to go.

Mysterio and Barry get things going with the Cruiserweight Champion getting hammered down in the corner. Rey comes back by sending Barry into the corner and getting two off a split legged moonsault. Off to Hennig vs. B.A. with Armstrong nailing a dropkick before trying to talk some trash. Thankfully that goes nowhere as it’s off to Duncum before the big Swoll comes in with a bad looking clothesline. Swoll hammers on Duncum but Kendall comes in with a cheap shot to take over.

Kendall misses a charge into the post so Mysterio comes in without a tag. Naturally the referee is fine with this. Kendall tries to beat the rules into him but Rey nails him with a springboard seated senton to knock both Kendall and Duncum out to the floor. Back in and it’s Konnan vs. Hennig before Rey hits another springboard seated senton on Hennig. Duncum and Hennig both get hammered in the corner until it’s Swoll ducking Duncum’s cross body for two in an awkward sequence. Rey adds a springboard legdrop and Swoll pins Bobby.

The other Soldiers, Chase and 4×4 (who makes Ezekiel Jackson look like David Flair) beat up Duncum in the aisle because they’re heroes. Barry and Konnan hammer away on each other until Curt comes back in for a double clothesline. Off to BA as the Rednecks keep control with Curt nailing a quick HennigPlex to make it 3-3. Mysterio tried to dive in for a save but came in too fast and basically started crawling in slow motion for no logical reason.

So it’s Konnan getting beaten down now with Kendall hitting a bad looking lariat and a slightly better looking slam. He misses a middle rope knee though and Konnan hits a rolling lariat of his own (called a DDT by Tony), followed by the facebuster for two. Rey dropkicks Kendall into a horrible “rollup” for the pin on Kendall. Barry DDTs Konnan for two as 4×4 and Chase beat up Kendall.

Everything breaks down with Barry going to the floor…..and being carried off by Chase with Konnan following. For some reason this isn’t a DQ and both guys are counted out. So it’s Hennig vs. Swoll/Mysterio. Swoll comes in for some incredibly sloppy offense as Barry comes back in. Curt tries to bail but 4×4 stops him in his tracks. Back in and Swoll hits his stupid palm strike to the chest before bringing in Rey for the Jimmy Snuka/Andre the Giant big splash off the shoulders for the pin.

Rating: C-. Swoll is horrible. Like he’s really, really bad, to the point that he can barely throw punches correctly. I understand that he was really new at this, but as WCW should have learned over the years, that’s why he shouldn’t be on a major show like this. The Soldiers continue to act entirely like heels here, just like they have for most of this feud.

The announcers chat for a bit about the rest of the card.

We get Hak’s challenge for the junkyard match.

Junkyard Invitational

Ciclope, Jerry Flynn, Johnny Grunge, Hak, Horace Hogan, Brian Knobs, Hugh Morrus, La Parka, Lord Steven Regal, Fit Finlay, Rocco Rock, Silver King, Squire David Taylor, and Mikey Whipwreck

They’re in a junkyard, first person to climb over a fence wins. The place is huge so there’s almost no way to see more than four or five people at once unless you go to a helicopter shots. Public Enemy (a surprise) flips a car over as I’m only going to be able to call big spots. There are barrels of fire everywhere. Jerry Flynn puts an electrical cord into an engine to make sparks fly out. Knobbs dives off one car for an elbow onto King on the roof of a van.

Finlay hits la Parka in the ribs with a bumper as Dave Taylor hits Morrus in the head with a trashcan lid. The annoyed look on Morrus’ face as he just keeps walking is rather amusing. The camera shots are only lasting about ten seconds at most so it’s hard to call much of anything. Jimmy Hart is running around in a yellow shirt and a hard hat. Rocco Rock is thrown into the window of a van. Morrus dives off a car with an elbow onto Rock because they’re already repeating spots.

I think Ciclope dives off a car onto about six guys before they start throwing things at each other instead of doing anything coherent. Finlay goes Captain America by blocking a punch with a trashcan lid and hitting Horace in the face with it. Brian wraps Taylor in a tire as we’re waiting on someone to try and win. Rocco and Horace make the first trip over with Horace making a last second save to keep Rock from escaping.

Silver King is bleeding from the arm as this just keeps going. Taylor has to dance out of a tire before Knobs and Hak put Finlay in a car. A forklift pops up and takes the car over to the crusher but Finlay gets out to prevent death. Of course the forklift hasn’t been seen all match until this point. Then another car blows up and Finlay climbs over the fence to win.

Rating: N/A. This wasn’t wrestling, and quite frankly I’m really not sure what it was. Why in the world WCW thought this was a good idea is beyond me and I’m sure the live audience is going to be THRILLED after having sat there for fifteen minutes waiting on this to end. On top of all that, Finlay would hurt his leg soon after this at a house show (in a hardcore match of course) and be out for months, making the whole thing worthless. I can’t imagine he’s the only one to get injured in this mess either.

We recap the Triad vs. Saturn/Benoit. They fought each other, then they fought each other some more, then they had some singles matches, now they’re having a title match. For some reason we get a bunch of clips of the eight man tag from Nitro which doesn’t seem to be going anywhere, other than a boxing match. They’re trying to tie this into the old vs. new feud, which doesn’t even seem to be a thing anymore.

Tag Team Titles: Chris Benoit/Perry Saturn vs. Jersey Triad

The Triad is defending. Kanyon starts on the floor as Saturn and Page slug it out in the middle. It’s Saturn taking over with a bunch of right hands before knocking Bigelow and Kanyon off the apron for good measure. Off to Bigelow vs. Benoit as the announcers call Benoit an uncrowned champion. Hasn’t he been a three time champion by this point? Bam Bam gets dropped into the middle buckle and sent out to the floor for a meeting with his partners.

Back in and Kanyon fights out of a suplex from Saturn and knees him down against the ropes. He grabs the referee to block a German attempt, only to have Benoit chop him into a t-bone. Back to Benoit for the decapitation clothesline followed by a Liontamer (which he used before Jericho). A double clothesline drops Kanyon for two more as the challengers stay in full control. Benoit stomps Kanyon down in the corner and starts in on his leg.

Saturn drops a top rope legdrop for two but Page comes in without a tag to take over, sending Saturn to the floor for a triple team to take over. Bigelow comes in for a big suplex and a falling headbutt for two. Back to Kanyon after Bigelow uses Flair’s “how much time is left” trick. Kanyon drops a leg for one of the slowest two counts I can remember in a long time. The fans get distracted by something in the crowd so Bigelow puts Saturn in a chinlock.

Kanyon comes back in but gets crotched on the top, setting up a belly to belly superplex from Saturn. Benoit gets the hot tag and goes after Bigelow, only to have Page take him down with a top rope clothesline. Page is VERY pleased with this move, running out to the floor and celebrating like a mad man, even climbing onto the barricade. Back in and Page gets two off an elbow drop before it’s off to Bigelow for some fat man offense.

Page comes in again and runs Benoit over for two with Saturn making the save. We get a front chancery from Page but Benoit drives him into the corner for the hot tag, which of course the referee doesn’t see. That wicked sitout powerbomb from Page is good for two. Benoit finally suplexes Kanyon down but Bigelow breaks up a hot tag attempt. Bam Bam misses the moonsault though and we FINALLY get the hot tag to Saturn (which the camera doesn’t catch).

Saturn cleans house with suplexes and clotheslines Page and Kanyon out to the floor. Everything breaks down again and Saturn hits a top rope splash, followed by the Swan Dive from Benoit but Page comes in off the top for the save. Saturn loads Page up with the Death Valley Driver but Kanyon throws powder in his face, only to have it get in Page’s eyes too, causing him to Diamond Cut Kanyon. Bigelow makes the save but Benoit Germans Page for a VERY close two. Page throws in a metal trashcan as the referee gets bumped. He hits Kanyon by mistake but Bigelow comes in for a 3D on Saturn to retain the titles.

Rating: B+. Give that match a less messy finish and it’s a classic. There was a lot of good stuff in here and the majority of it was due to how much time they were given. Everyone was allowed to get in there for awhile and the fans bought into the idea of two guys trying to fight against the big cheating team. They gave it a great effort and the whole thing just worked. Really good stuff here, though not enough to save this disaster of the show.

Clip of Judge Mills Lane agreeing to referee the boxing match. That’s all of the recap because there was no reason for this to be a boxing match other than Piper barely being a wrestler anymore.

Roddy Piper vs. Buff Bagwell

Big time boxing referee Mills Lane is referee here to try to make people care. In case you’ve never seen him, just picture Mr. Strickland from Back to the Future. Piper has Flair in his corner. Buff’s gloves are actually labeled “Buff’s Left” and “Buff’s Right”. Bagwell sees Flair in Piper’s corner, so he has someone to have his back: HIS MOM, “Judge Judy” Bagwell. And I give up. Seriously it was bad enough when this was boxing instead of Piper just doing a freaking job for Bagwell like he should be doing, but now BUFF’S MOM IS HERE???

Flair gives Bagwell a chance to leave but Buff reminds him of the pin off the Blockbuster a few weeks back. You know, when Flair put Bagwell over in the middle of the ring in the whole point of this entire story. The rounds are two minutes long here. Piper sticks his chin out to start until Buff hammers him into the corner. The fans are dead at this point if you couldn’t guess. Bagwell tees off on Piper (well, as much as he can BECAUSE HE ISN’T A BOXER) to end the first round.

Flair sprays something on Piper’s gloves in between the rounds as this continues to fall apart. Piper hits a few jabs to the face and Bagwell’s eyes are burning. He gets punched down in the corner as Judy brings over a sponge to try and clean Buff’s eyes out. Back up and Piper wildly swings until Buff knocks Piper down in the corner in an identical sequence from Piper vs. Mr. T. thirteen years ago, because that’s what this is supposed to be….a tribute to I suppose? Piper gets up as round two ends.

I’m going to pause for a second here and give you a bit of context to what is about to happen. Fifteen months ago, WCW was still in control of the Monday Night Wars and hadn’t lost a night in the ratings in nearly two years. Their last win was about nine months before this. Yeah they were in trouble, but it’s not like they were so desperate for something good to happen that they had to go insane. A few weeks back, Buff Bagwell hit his finishing move and pinned Ric Flair in the middle of the ring on Nitro, which should have been the start of a huge push for him. After all that, I give you the third round of this boxing match.

Piper jumps Bagwell in the corner and attacks Bagwell early, so his mother Judy gets in the ring and bites Piper’s ear. She then dumps the spit bucket over Piper’s head as Buff punches Flair off the apron. Buff goes up and hits the Blockbuster on Piper as Judy holds Flair on the apron, allowing Buff to pin Piper for the win. Judy chases the President of WCW around the ring after the match.

Rating: G. As in below an F and for GOOD FREAKING GRIEF THEY REALLY COULDN’T COME UP WITH ANYTHING BETTER THAN THIS??? Piper wasn’t capable of doing a five minute match and doing a job for Bagwell? Does WCW really think that it’s important enough to protect him from taking a fall in a wrestling match that they’ll let him take a fall in a boxing match? Read that sentence back and see how insane it sounds. Now throw in Judy Bagwell and more hijinks than an episode of Looney Tunes and you see what happened to WCW in the summer of 1999.

We recap Nash/Sting vs. Savage/Sid. Savage being a woman beater and Nash potentially raping George is glossed over. On the other hand, the Fake Sting attacking Nash, causing Nash to go after Sting, even though the real Sting came out to beat up the Fake Sting, is left out with only the Fake Sting beating Nash down being shown. For some reason Nash wanted this to be a tag team match where anyone, including his partner, could pin him for the title. Again, this isn’t mentioned in the video. We’ll also ignore Nash saying he saw Sting driving the Hummer before we see that happening in the package.

WCW World Title: Sid Vicious/Randy Savage vs. Kevin Nash/Sting

Nash is defending in what is more like a handicap fatal fourway than a tag match if that makes sense. In theory Sting can only pin Nash for the title, meaning it’s basically one on one on two. Thankfully Tony mentions the whole Sting can pin Nash and the real Sting coming out during the entrances. Yes, we’ve reached the point where Tony Schiavone is having to cover for the production team’s goofs.

George (living up to the gorgeous moniker tonight) comes out in sunglasses but takes them off to reveal a black eye as she goes to stand in Nash’s corner. The reason for the black eye isn’t explained because that really wasn’t something that should have happened, nor is it even referenced by the announcers. Savage and Sting start but Randy sees George changing corners and freaks out. Sting uses the chance to deck Savage and the fight is slowly on.

Off to Sid to face Sting as Tony explains the rules, making this match even more confusing that it was in the first place. Sting quickly knocks Sid out to the floor but Nash isn’t interested in tagging. So in theory, if Nash doesn’t get pinned, he doesn’t lose the title? It’s not like we’ve ever gotten a clear answer to that, though to be fair I doubt WCW thought it that far through. Sid and Savage start double teaming Sting with the big man putting on a bad looking camel clutch.

Savage comes in and spits at the champ, but thankfully doesn’t hit his hair. Sting finally rolls away and makes the tag to Nash for all the usual offense. He has Savage in trouble but gives Sting a very hard tag to get out. Sting takes it outside and splashes the barricade before Savage takes him back inside for some choking. Tony points out that almost no one has tries to pin Nash yet, making the whole stipulation rather pointless.

Sid hooks one of the lamest chinlocks I’ve ever seen on Sting, who is nice enough to go down to the mat in a heap. Granted he might have fainted after hearing some of the nonsense they actually aired on this show. Sting fights up again and does the falling low blow spot, allowing for the hot tag off to Nash.

Everything breaks down and the girls come in, only to have Sting splash both of them plus Sid. Savage and Nash get splashed at the same time, allowing Sid to plant Sting with a chokeslam. George gets in and low blows Nash (SHOCK AND AWE, SHOCK AND AWE), setting up the big elbow from Savage for the pin and the title.

Rating: D-. I wonder if they bothered to tell everyone else in the match about the whole Sting can pin Nash rule, because it was NEVER attempted and was a complete non factor. George’s face turn (can you even call it that?) lasted all of twelve minutes, meaning she’s picking the woman beater over the kidnapper and potential rapist. I can’t believe I just had to type that, so I’ll wrap it up by saying it’s a horrible match.

Overall Rating: F. The fact that a REALLY good twenty three minute Tag Team Title match is needed to bring this show up to a failure tells you all you need to know. This show had eight matches. One of them was a joke with David Flair needing an army to beat Malenko, one wasn’t wrestling because it was a big fight in a junkyard, and one was a boxing match. Two of the others were matches that belonged on Thunder at best, another one was a boring elimination tag, and one MADE NO FREAKING SENSE.

This show blew my mind in ways that I honestly didn’t think were possible. Just let some of this stuff sink in for a few minutes. Roddy Piper apparently can’t be trusted in a five minute match, we can’t have a DQ anymore because Rick Steiner wouldn’t be able to have a match break 10 seconds if we did, and we have to drop stipulations that are made less than three days before the match. WCW is dying before our eyes and it’s kind of amazing to see in a morbid way.

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Today we’re looking at the greatest wrestler on God’s green Earth: Harley Race.

Race started in 1960 but we’ll pick things up with him as NWA World Champion and wrestling at MSG for NWA member the World Wide Wrestling Federation on December 19, 1977.

NWA World Title: Harley Race vs. Rick Martel

Martel is about 21 here and the announcers are Australian. This has to be the forerunner to OCW. Crowd is INSANE here and we keep hearing the announcer say World Championship Wrestling which is weird as all goodness. The turnbuckles are HUGE. This is just odd to see but rather fun. A hiptoss and backdrop into an arm drag and armbar warrants a slow motion replay in the middle of the match.

This announcer is really good. No clue who he is but he’s quite engaging. Race was fairly awesome at this point as he was still young at 34. Martel gets out of a hammerlock to a nice pop. He’s quite popular here. I wonder if he has an enormous schwanzstück (rep to whoever gets this reference first).

Race gets a nice gutwrench suplex to take over again but Martel starts the comeback. The punches are let loose but Martel misses a cross body off the middle rope and Race hits a British Bulldogesque delayed suplex to get the pin. It was a very different time back then and winning with a move like that was perfectly acceptable at this point.

Rating: B-. Very fun little match here as Martel did his thing but Race just outsmarted him to get the pin. Race in his prime is a sight to behold as he really is as good as he’s made up to be. I’m not a big Martel guy but this was a good match and the crowd being very hot helped a lot. Who would have expected that from Australia?

From two years later in the same building on December 17, 1979.

NWA World Title: Harley Race vs. Dusty Rhodes

Why am I not thrilled to see this? Race is champion here. Rhodes is listed as 261 pounds. That’s just hilarious. Race had the title and then Dusty beat him for it and vice versa, leading to the rubber match here. Dusty hits his elbow drop for two because it’s not the end of the match and since IT’S AN ELBOW DROP it doesn’t work here. This was back in the final days of the WWF being in the NWA so these wouldn’t happen much more often.

This is fairly basic and Vince keeps trying to tell us how great Rhodes is in the ring. On the mic yes but in the ring not so much. They fight over a suplex and this is definitely a different style than the rest of the show has been as it’s a more NWA style of slow building. Race is bleeding from the head. Race gets launched to the floor as this thankfully picks up something resembling steam.

Dusty hits a piledriver but the feet are on the ropes again. Race comes back with his standard stuff as this is pretty clearly coming to a close. Dusty makes his comeback which lasts about 8 seconds. Race drops a bunch of knees and Dusty is busted open too. His is a lot worse than Race’s though. Dusty makes his real comeback but the referee stops it because of his cut for a CHEAP finish. LOUD bull chant afterwards.

Rating: C. This was boring as all goodness for the most part but it picked up a lot near the end. The finish was clearly going to be screwy but I can live with that as this was just a token title defense. Also that means Race wins here instead of a draw or a no contest. Nothing great at all here but pretty watchable.

Off to Texas Stadium at some point in 1982.

Kerry Von Erich vs. Harley Race

The winner gets a title shot against Ric Flair. Kerry uses his speed to start and hits a nice dropkick but gets small packaged for two. Off to a headlock on the veteran but Race slams him down and tries a headbutt, only to have Kerry just hold up his hands to block it. The Claw goes on and Race is suddenly screaming but he’s able to send Von Erich to the floor. Kerry slams him down on the concrete though and calmly waits in the ring.

Back in and Race easily takes him down with a chinlock but Kerry quickly fights back up and nails a discus punch. The referee goes down in a rare sight at this point, meaning Race’s piledriver only gets two. They fight to the floor again with Race in full control and ramming him into various metal objects. Some knees to the head have Kerry in even more trouble but he’s able to post Harley for a breather. Back in again and Kerry hammers away before putting on a sleeper.

Race is bleeding from the eye and sends Von Erich into the buckle to escape. A nice suplex puts Kerry down but Harley can’t follow up. Another headbutt misses and Kerry gets two before slamming Harley off the top. They collide again and fall out to the floor for a slugout with Kerry taking over. Back in and Race goes up top for a cross body but Kerry rolls through for the big upset.

Rating: C+. This was the stadium match style played very well and it worked like it was supposed to. For a show in this big of an area, you have to do stuff that is going to get noticed very easily. Almost everything here was a big move that could be seen from a long way off and the match worked well. Also notice that Race, nearing the end of his time on top, is putting young stars over clean. That’s what aging veterans are supposed to do.

Race’s most famous feud was against Ric Flair in the early 80s. Race had defeated Flair for the title and then offered a bounty for anyone that could take Flair out. Dick Slater and Bob Orton attacked Flair and claimed the bounty, but Ric came back with a ball bat, swearing revenge. Here’s his chance at the first Starrcade in 1983.

NWA World Title: Ric Flair vs. Harley Race

The entrances take a LONG time, especially when you compare them to the other intros tonight. Wait has anyone else had an intro tonight? I don’t think they have actually. Flair has a long light sequence with his legendary music (the song playing in the gorilla sequence from 2001: A Space Odyssey) playing in the background. Former world champion Gene Kiniski is guest referee for no apparent reason and this is inside a steel cage. Race is a seven time and reigning champion and Flair is a two time champion so these are both seasoned veterans.

They talk trash to each other to start before Flair takes him down with a headlock takeover. Race sends him into the ropes for a knee to the ribs but Kiniski pulls them apart. Ric snapmares him down into a chinlock which transitions into a headlock. Race fights up and hits a high knee, only to have a falling headbutt hit the canvas. Flair goes back to the headlock and cranks away on it on the mat but has to shift over into a front facelock.

Race escapes but misses a big elbow drop, only to fall on Flair for two during a slam attempt. Race drops a knee on the forehead and it’s Flair in trouble this time. Kiniski pulls Race off again so Harley opts to hit Ric in the ear instead. A piledriver puts Flair down but Race drops an elbow before covering. Race stays on the neck which is logical given the piledriver that put Flair out earlier in the year. The champion drives some knee into the back of the neck before sending Flair head first into the cage. That’s the first time it’s been used and we’re about ten minutes into the match.

We go to that overhead camera shot again as Race hits what looks like a shoulder breaker for two. A falling headbutt has Flair in trouble again as does being slammed face first into the cage. Another shot into the steel has Flair in trouble and Race is in full control. The referee pulls Race off Flair for the third time but this time he yells at Flair as well. Ric is busted open now.

Flair tries a headbutt get gets raked in the eyes to bring him down again. Now Ric blocks a ram into the cage and sends the champion in to get his first advantage in a long time. A knee to Race’s head gets two and Harley is busted open as well. Flair hits a piledriver of his own but Race’s afro protects him, meaning Flair only gets two. There’s a butterfly suplex for two for Flair and he sends Race head first into the cage again.

Race is in trouble but comes back with a headbutt which looked very low and Flair is in trouble as a result. Kiniski interferes AGAIN before Race throws Flair into the cage. Flair loads up a punch but Gene pulls the arm back because that’s illegal. IN A CAGE MATCH. Ric gets ticked off and pounds away on the champion but Kiniski breaks up the strut. Flair puts on the Figure Four but Race turns it over, which is apparently a big deal at this time.

Race headbutts out of the corner but Flair falls on top during a suplex attempt. The champion slams him down and drops a middle rope headbutt but stuns himself in the process. A suplex gets two more for Race and there is blood EVERYWHERE. Race pounds away and Kiniski has a problem with that too. Harley shrugs off some Flair punches and sends him into the cage before choking away with his boot.

Flair counters a suplex into one of his own as the back and forth control continues. A big elbow drop misses Race and both guys are down. Flair has been in such a fight that he’s gone from covered in blood to clean again to bloody again. Race accidentally knocks the referee down and in a famous but odd ending, Flair goes up top and hits a cross body, sending Race falling over the kneeling Kiniski for the pin and the title.

Rating: A. This is the definition of an old school fight. While it was pretty clear that Flair was going to win, it wasn’t a complete lock which made the match that much more interesting. The only slight flaw is the ending as the Kiniski stuff really wasn’t needed and the build wasn’t all that strong. Still though, this was a bloody and violent match between two of the best ever. Great stuff.

Off to the AWA with Race’s career winding down. From SuperClash 1985.

Asian Six Man Tag Titles: Giant Baba/Tsuruta/Genichiro Tenryu vs. Harley Race/Bill Irwin/Scott Irwin

I can find no source claiming that these titles existed either before or after this show. The three Japanese guys are the defending champions but they have no belts. Baba has freaky skinny arms. Scott vs. Tenryu to start. They talk about the two former world champions here: Race and Tsuruta. That’s very interesting that they’re ignoring Baba being a three time NWA World Champion.

Ok so Scott is in the shirt. Got it. Race comes in to fight Tenryu and never mind as it’s Jumbo. Race is his usual old school heel self and it’s off to Bill. Bill makes a tag as Tsuruta counters a top wristlock. Off to Race vs. Baba as this match is really awkward. There’s no story here so there’s no heat to it. They tag in and out a lot and technically it’s ok, but it’s more like a collection of moves than a coherent match.

Bill gets a boot in and the fans are getting behind the heels. See what I mean about it not making a lot of sense? Tenryu is going to be playing Ricky Morton it seems. Piledriver gets two for Race. The Irwins hit a double back elbow for the same. Tenryu gets a boot up and it’s hot tag to Jumbo. Everything breaks down and Baba LAUNCHES Bill into the corner and to the floor. Back to Tenryu who gets a slam for two. Everything breaks down again and Baba hits a big boot on Bill for the pin to retain.

Rating: D. This show has been pretty meh so far and this match hasn’t helped anything. The fake champions defended their fake titles against guys they have no issue with right? On top of that like I said, there’s no issue here so the match isn’t anything interesting either. This felt off the whole time and it really brought it down. That and the heels being cheered because no one knew most of the Japanese guys.

Race got a shot at a former AWA World Champion at WrestleRock 1986.

Harley Race vs. Rick Martel

This is billed as former champion vs. former champion, which sounds SO exciting doesn’t it? Race grabs a headlock to start as is his custom but Martel whips him in and it’s time for an armbar. This is so common in this company I can’t believe it. That doesn’t last long as Race whips him in and RACE LEAPFROGS MARTEL. And I thought I had seen everything. Martel doesn’t know what to do so naturally, it’s an armdrag into an armbar.

Race takes him down again as neither guy can get a real advantage here. Headbutt sets up a chinlock which isn’t something the people seem all that interested in seeing at this point. Yep there are the boring chants. Martel gets up and there’s armbar #3 five minutes into the match. Race’s counter this time? Slam his head into Martel’s. Well you can’t say he’s not using his head. I’ll give you a minute to roll your eyes at how lame that joke was.

Powerslam gets two for Race but Martel escapes a suplex and throws on a sleeper. Does this guy know ANYTHING besides rest holds? Race rams him into the buckle and hits a neckbreaker to put Rick down. Harley goes up (not as bizarre as you would expect) but gets slammed off. Well his last major feud was with Flair so that probably has something to do with it. They slug it out a bit which should result in pain bruises and agony for Martel but instead he grabs a headlock. Martel hits a backbreaker and slingshot splash for two, which Trongard says Martel debuted five years ago in 1983. Check the date on the show.

Anyway after that warping of time and space, Race headbutts and piledrives him for two. Elbow drop gets two and it’s off to the chinlock. Race sends him into the corner and Martel tries a cross body out of the corner, but Race just casually steps to the side, ala Samoa Joe. After a brief slugout, Martel whips Race into the corner and out to the floor, but it’s not a DQ due to whatever alteration they want to make this time.

Suplex gets two for Rick back in. Shoulderbreaker and neckbreaker get two for Race. They collide and Race is knocked to the floor. He always was great at taking that backwards fall. Back in another piledriver is countered into a gutwrench suplex for two by Martel. Now Rick goes after the knee for some reason. After some knees to the leg it’s off to a leg hold but Race uses his head (as always) to escape. Race pounds on him in the corner but has his suplex countered. A splash by Martel eats knees and they go to the floor off a slam attempt. They brawl even more and it’s a double countout, two minutes before the time limit.

Rating: C+. Pretty decent match here but again the problem is that there’s no story to this. That being said, they were getting close to overcoming that with some solid back and forth stuff. At the end of the day, it’s Harley Race going 18 minutes so the match by default has to be pretty good. Martel was a WAY bigger deal in the AWA than in the WWF.

Somewhere around this time, Race invested in the Kansas City territory and lost a fortune due to national expansion. He had to take a job in the WWF and we’ll pick things up on June 14, 1986.

Harley Race vs. Lanny Poffo

Race is the “newcomer” here, although they openly say he’s wrestled for twenty years. Clipped to Poffo taking something like a brainbuster on the floor. The fans are quiet but this is the old Race, as in the old school style of him. Top rope headbutt (which Race is credited with inventing) puts Poffo down and a regular one puts him on the floor.

Poffo starts his comeback and hits a flying headscissors to bring Race over the top and back in. Race gets him in a fireman’s carry and drops him throat first across the top rope to break up the comeback though. Fisherman’s suplex ends this. Not enough to grade but Race was his usual great self, even though the match was dull.

Off to the Big Event against another legend.

Harley Race vs. Pedro Morales

They’re both old and they’re both fat. They’re also rather slow and it’s not interesting at all anymore. The main event is next so this is likely Hogan’s effort to make people forget the previous good match so that he looks good next. He did it to the whole company in about 8 years with WCW. The referees have more or less sucked all night as they never count fast enough. Race gets a double leg trip and uses the ropes for the easy pin.

Rating: N/A. This was just a filler to put some space between the two matches that were good and nothing more.

Here’s a match that had a hand in starting a series. A Survivor Series if you will. From November 24, 1986.

Randy Savage/Harley Race/Adrian Adonis vs. Roddy Piper/Junkyard Dog/Ricky Steamboat

This is elimination rules and it was a brand new idea at the time. They were popular enough that a PPV version was made later in the year. For some reason, Slick is on commentary. These are all matches at Wrestlemania and the last appearance in MSG for Piper so gee, I wonder who will win here. Savage runs and hides from Steamboat but they wind up starting.

Savage tries to roll away and it’s Race in now with no tag. Off to JYD and it’s rolling headbutts time. They look at each other for awhile as Steamboat plays cheerleader. Belly to belly puts JYD down and it’s off to Savage again. He loads up the elbow but stops to yell at Steamboat. Piper shoves Randy into the now legal Steamboat. My goodness I’d love to see Savage and Piper have a feud. Not the kind they had in WCW either.

Off to Adonis and he runs from Piper. Everything breaks down and all six are in there. A double suplex puts Roddy down and Adrian hooks the sleeper on him. That doesn’t last and Piper hooks a sleeper which is broken up just as quickly. JYD is waiting on an opponent now. I know it sounds like I’m skipping a lot but they’re moving in and out of there so fast that it’s almost impossible to keep up with.

Adonis works on the Dog but hits him in the head because heels are stupid. Everyone goes to the floor and Roddy hits Adrian with a chair. Back to some form of sanity as Piper hits a belly to back suplex on Race but Savage breaks up the cover. This has been incredibly fast paced. And there’s a bell. Uh……why? Adonis and JYD were both counted out because they were legal. Ok then.

Piper vs. Race now and make that Piper vs. Savage. Piper blocks a suplex as Gorilla and Slick argue. Savage misses a shot into the ropes but Race prevents the tag. And never mind as he makes it just a second later. Steamboat speeds things up on Race as Slick yells about karate. Everyone gets in again and my goodness is there some talent in there. There isn’t a bad combination at all out there.

Steamboat rolls up Race but Savage reverses it and somehow it gets the pin, after about 15 seconds of Steamboat being down. I don’t think so but whatever. Ok so it’s Piper vs. Race/Savage. Piper of course is all cool with going straight for Race and they go to the floor. Savage tries to hit him with a chair but they get back in and somehow Savage is now legal. Top rope double axe gets two. Powerslam gets two for Race. Piper grabs a gutwrench suplex but Savage makes the save.

Savage goes up but the double axe hits Race, allowing Piper to steal a pin and it’s 1-1. Now THIS should be awesome. And this is how Piper goes out of MSG? This works I’d think. Race won’t leave so Piper throws Savage into him and then bulldogs Randy down. Savage tries to bail but suckers Piper in and gets the first punch in. That weird clothesline Savage does takes Roddy down for two.

They start choking away at each other and this is so awesome. Piper actually shows off his strength and holds Savage up in a choke. They collide and Savage is knocked to the floor. Piper gets up but then lays down and plays possum. Savage goes up for the elbow but Piper moves and a small package ends the Macho Man. TOTALLY AWESOME and vintage Piper.

Rating: A. I had a blast with this. The talent levels out there were completely insane and they gave us twenty minutes of a great match. These matches could work so well if they were done right and this one was, especially when they have the time to put it together. The eliminations were a bit off, but this was probably the first one ever. Great match though and an absolute blast.

Against a bigger name on February 23, 1987.

Paul Orndorff/Harley Race vs. Hulk Hogan/Roddy Piper

These two teaming up together always feels wrong. Big brawl to start until Hogan and Piper clear the ring. The heels come back in so Hogan picks up Piper and uses his feet as a battering ram. Piper vs. Race officially gets us started. Off to Hulk and the place goes manic. They work on Race’s arm and it’s back to Piper for another big pop. Ok make it Hogan http://improvehearingnaturally.com again. You know they work well together for mortal enemies.

They do look at each other with a bit of disdain and a lack of trust but if they didn’t it would be awful. Race headbutts his way out of trouble but still can’t bring Paul in. Back to Hulk and the arm work continues. The place is about to come unglued. Race finally gets in a belly to belly and knee drop to take over. Here’s Orndorff off the top and Piper is in trouble now.

The heels take turns on Piper and it’s off to a chinlock. This place is going to explode when Hogan gets the tag. Suplex keeps Roddy down and it’s off to Paul again. Race hammers away on Piper some more and headbutts him. Roddy stands still and looks like he’s about to fall down when he dives forward for the tag. That looked great. Race looks scared to death and Hogan pounds away. House is cleaned and he drops the leg but Orndorff saves. Heenan gets drilled and heel miscommunication lets Piper pin Race which counts for some reason.

Rating: C+. This is one of those matches where it’s about the atmosphere instead of the match itself. Piper and Hogan teaming together is still a weird sight and I’m not sure how well I like it. Still though, fun little match that blew the roof off MSG (that thing has to be in disrepair given how often it happens) which is the entire idea.

Here’s Race’s most famous WWF match. From Wrestlemania III.

Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog

The loser has to bow. Uecker is apparently in love with Moolah and bails out of the booth. Race comes out to either Lawler’s music or the song Lawler’s music was remixed from. Dog says that he wants to take over the spot on the throne. Oh and I forgot to mention the ring carts which only appeared here and at Mania 6. Those things were AWESOME. Dog blocks some punches to start and pounds away but Race trips up JYD to give Race control.

Dog comes right back with a headbutt to send Race to the floor before pulling him right back in. Race gets knocked to the floor again and is in big trouble. Back in and Race tries a headbutt and knocks himself silly. A Flair Flip in the corner sends Race to the floor AGAIN but it still doesn’t last long. Back inside Dog hits some headbutts but has to stop to chase off Heenan, allowing Race to hit a belly to belly for the pin.

Rating: D. This wasn’t that good primarily due to time. The majority of the match was spent with Race on the floor which isn’t what you expect from him. Dog was all about personality and crowd response as most of his offense was a bunch of headbutts. Not much to see here but the crowd was into it.

Race was in the opening match from the first Survivor Series in 1987.

Team Honky Tonk Man vs. Team Randy Savage

Honky Tonk Man, Harley Race, Ron Bass, Danny Davis, Hercules

Randy Savage, Jim Duggan, Ricky Steamboat, Jake Roberts, Brutus Beefcake

Honky doesn’t have Cool Cocky bad as his theme music yet which is a shame. It’s amazing how great the music got in the late 80s. After the heel entrances, Team Savage says they’re here to settle scores. This was a different time as almost all of the faces were friends by default as were the heels just because they were faces and heels. The feuds going into this are Honky vs. Savage and Race vs. Duggan. Other than that the guys are just random midcarders who are faces or heels on a team, which is a pretty cool idea.

The place erupts for Savage’s entrance. Even Jesse couldn’t deny how great Randy was and was a huge fan in his own right. It was clear they had to do something with him soon, and they certainly did soon enough. In the answer to a trivia question, it’s Beefcake vs. Hercules starting the first Survivor Series match ever. Beefcake struts a bit and not much goes on for the first 20 seconds or so.

Hercules (guess what he’s known for) runs Beefcake over but walks into Barber’s sleeper but he falls into his corner to tag in Davis, one of the lowest lever guys you’ll ever find who somehow wasn’t a jobber. He’s a wrestling referee. Seriously, that’s the extent of his gimmick. He’s a referee who cheated a lot and got fired. Savage and Steamboat (who are apparently fine after wanting to kill each other about eight months ago) take turns on Davis but Steamboat misses a charge and it’s off to Race, the current King of the WWF.

Steamboat chops Race in the head and man alive how amazing would those two be able to be in a long old school program? Steamboat skins the cat (I’ve asked this many times, but is that really the best name they could come up with for that? I mean, skinning a cat?) and sends Race to the floor before bringing in Duggan to pound away on Race, knocking him to the floor. Hacksaw heads out with him and they brawl to a double countout, making it 4-4.

Bass (a standard old school cowboy) comes in to face Roberts but it’s quickly off to Savage. A knee sends Bass into the corner and Savage is starting to roll very fast. Savage immediately goes after Honky due to the really bad blood between the two of them and it’s lets Bass get in a shot. Off to the IC Champion (Honky) who gets in some cheap shots but like any good heel, he tags out when Savage starts coming back.

Bass comes in again but a blind tag brings in Barber (Beefcake for you younguns) who hits a high knee for the elimination. Hercules comes in and the bad guys start working over Beefcake’s arm. Off to Honky with an armbar and then right back to Herc. Wisely they’re keeping that schmuck Danny Davis out of there. I guess he’s there because he works for Jimmy Hart but other than that there’s no logical reason for him to be there.

Beefcake tries to punch his way out of trouble but Honky stays on the arm. To say Honky wasn’t much on offense is an understatement as he barely looks to be cranking on the hold at all. Beefcake fights out of the hold but won’t tag because he’s kind of dumb. Davis adds the only thing he’s going to add the whole match and knees Beefcake in the back so that Honky can hit the Shake Rattle and Roll (swinging neckbreaker) for the pin on Beefcake to tie us up at three.

Off to Savage vs. Hercules with the power guy taking over. Davis comes in and things suddenly go downhill for Honky’s team. Yeah, a referee beating on Randy Savage doesn’t work. Who would have guessed? Honky comes in and gets elbowed in the head which lets Savage tag in Jake to pound away. The comeback doesn’t last long though as Jake charges into a boot in the corner and it’s off to Herc. That goes nowhere so here’s Davis and since his offense sucks (BECAUSE HE’S A REFEREE) Jake shrugs it all off and DDTs him to death, making it 3-2 (Savage/Steamboat/Roberts vs. Hercules/Honky).

Herc comes in and takes Jake down and Savage tries to come in for a save, which just allows the heels to double team Jake. Savage isn’t thinking here because of his anger, almost like…..a savage. Oh you’re very clever WWF. Honky hooks a chinlock and Hercules comes in to do the same. Jake hits a jawbreaker to escape and there’s the hot tag to Steamboat who cleans house with chops.

A top rope chop has Herc reeling and it’s off to Savage for the elbow. It’s just Honky left and Savage explodes on him, only to miss another charge (third one for Savage’s team) and let Honky get in some offense. That lasts all of six seconds as the beating continues. Jake comes in and pounds away on him, followed by Savage dropping a double ax. An atomic drop sends Honky to the floor and he’s like screw this and takes the countout. Can you blame him?

Rating: B. This was a really fun match with a good story to it. The fans HATED Honky and the idea of getting him caught at the end with no one to defend him had the fans going nuts. Honky vs. Savage was a great feud but it never had a blowoff due to a bunch of backstage stuff. Honky would somehow hold the title nine more months before perhaps the greatest end to a title run ever at Summerslam. This was a great choice for a first match ever for the concept too as it showed how the idea worked and gave the fans something to cheer about too. Really good stuff.

Here’s Race in a dream match at SNME XV.

Hulk Hogan vs. Harley Race

HOLY CRAP THEY KEPT IT RIGHT! What I mean by that is Hogan’s shirt is torn both in the interview and in the intro. See, back in the day these interviews might be taped 4 months in advance in multi-hour long sessions. This would result in problems such as titles being different and clothing changing. In his interview, Hogan ripped up his shirt and he came out with a ripped shirt again. Most impressive indeed.

Hogan beats the heck out of Race before the bell rings. Cheater! They start brawling and Race takes over like he should be doing the entire time. It’s sad to see Race having to do this as he was a better worker than Hogan could ever dream of being. This is far closer to a brawl than an actual match which I think was the best choice in this case. Race hits the belly to belly and doesn’t even cover here. Good.

That is a terrible finisher no matter who uses it. This is your run of the mill Hogan match so there you are. What else do you expect here? Hogan is laid on a table and Race dives at him, missing though. The important thing here though is that the table spiked up and went into Race, injuring him and more or less ending his in ring career. The headbutt from the top hits but it’s Hogan in the 80s. What do you think he’s going to do? The usual ends it with what looked a lot like an edit. Heenan comes in and gets beaten up. Oh wait no he doesn’t as he DIVES over the top rope. That looked awesome.

Rating: B-. Pretty solid brawl here but nothing amazing. Race vs. Hogan is something close to a dream match but not from this era. Still though it’s cool to hear names like that announced as opponents given what they mean to the business as a whole. That being said, this was a decent match for Hogan’s standards.

Race also appeared at the second Survivor Series in 1988.

Team Jake Roberts vs. Team Andre the Giant

Jake Roberts, Ken Patera, Jim Duggan, Scott Casey, Tito Santana

Andre the Giant, Rick Rude, Dino Bravo, Mr. Perfect, Harley Race

Casey is a jobber who is here because B. Brian Blair left the company. Blair was on the team because JYD left, so Casey is the third string guy. Rude and Patera start things off. This would be around the time when Gorilla suggested that Patera retire because he wasn’t any good anymore, so you can tell what kind of stuff we’re about to get. Rude gets thrown around a bit and it’s off to Bravo, as Gorilla implies Patera made him retire. Now there’s a trivia answer for….somebody I guess.

Bravo bangs on Patera a bit before it’s off to Perfect (called Curt Hennig as well here) with a double ax off the top. Patera shrugs it off and drags Hennig over to hand him off to Roberts. Jake works on the arm as he was known to do before bringing in Santana. Tito and Hennig have as good of a match as you would expect them to have with Tito getting the better of it, only to miss a charge in the corner. Hennig elbows him down and it’s off to Bravo again. Talk about bringing the talent level down.

Off to Roberts who hits Bravo once and then brings in Casey to really cripple the level. A monkey flip doesn’t work for him and now he gets his first real opponent on PPV: Harley Race. Race beats up Casey like he’s a grizzled veteran who is here because his investment went south and he’s working for the guy who caused him to lose all his money and is now beating up some jobber who got a spot on a major show because there was no one else available.

Rude comes in again and it’s time for everyone to get their shots in on Casey. This has to be some kind of initiation or something. Hennig headbutts him and hurts himself in the process. Back to Tito as the match gets a lot better all of a sudden. Did I mention I really like Santana? Patera helps with a double elbow to Perfect and it’s off to Duggan to fire up the crowd again. Hennig tries various things to Duggan’s head which don’t work at all. See, when Duggan does it he follows up. When Casey does it, he doesn’t do anything. One is a legend, the other is never heard of again.

Off to Casey again for some contractually obligated reason more than likely and he’s immediately drilled by Rude which makes my day better. Casey misses a charge and it’s off to Tito with a cross body. Duggan beats up Hennig as well but he misses an elbow. Duggan and Henig hit heads and it’s off to Rude vs. Patera. Patera throws Rude around but misses a charge and gets Awakened for the first elimination.

Casey tries to come in and jump Rude, only to be sent into the heel corner and beaten up even worse than before. Off to Race who hits a good old man dropkick before bringing Bravo back in. Side slam hits and it’s 5-3. See you later Casey, have fun training that Booker T guy. It’s back to the bread and butter of this match with Perfect vs. Tito…the latter of whom immediately tags out and brings Duggan back in. Ok then.

Hennig kicks Duggan in the face which he sells for some reason, but the punches that follow aren’t sold and Duggan gets all fired up. Duggan, ever the lunkhead though, gets fired up near Andre who chokes him down immediately. Back to Hennig for a second and then Rude comes in for his offensive contribution. Duggan finally clotheslines Rick down and it’s a double tag for Tito and Race.

Since Race is a genius, he moves aside of a charging Tito and slams Tito’s head into Andre’s. Well that’s one thing he’s good for. Dino comes in again but misses a charge into the corner and gets sunset flipped for two. Back to Race for the piledriver for two and he whips Tito in, only to get forearmed out of nowhere for the quick elimination, making it 4-3. Andre climbs in, grabs Tito, chokes him a bit and sits on his chest. For reasons that no one could figure out, Tito tries a freaking sunset flip. Pain immediately comes to his chest and Andre makes it 4-2 (Andre, Dino, Rude, Hennig vs. Duggan and Roberts).

Duggan comes in and clotheslines Andre into the ropes, where he and Jake both get in some open shots on the Giant. Jake chokes away but Andre gets his arms free. Andre, being a smart giant, tags out after getting beaten up that badly and brings in Rude. Rude whips Jake into the buckle a few times as we hear about the Cheryl Roberts story. Off to Hennig with some chops and Andre kicks a bit from the apron because that’s what evil giants do.

Hennig slingshots Duggan throat first into the bottom rope so Andre can choke a bit more. Off to Bravo who gets beaten on by a suddenly fired up Roberts. The short clothesline looks to set up the DDT but Rude leans in to break it up. Rick comes in legally now and stomps away like he’s still in Memphis, which means very slowly with a lot of playing to the crowd in between.

Dino piledrives Jake for two but an elbow drop misses and here’s Hacksaw again. Duggan sends him into the corner and literally throws him out before clotheslining him down. The Three Point Clothesline is loaded up but Frenchy Martin, Bravo’s manager, hooks Duggan’s foot. Bravo slams Duggan on the floor so Duggan hits Bravo with the 2×4 for the DQ, leaving Roberts alone 3-1. Bravo manages to get a tag to Hennig before Jake can pin him so Roberts punches Perfect instead.

The DDT is loaded up but Perfect makes the corner and it’s off to Dino again. Jake, likely drunk, tries a test of strength with a guy billed as the world’s strongest man. When that doesn’t work Jake tries another DDT but is backdropped this time instead. Back to Rude and Jake heads to the floor to think. Well he is considered a master of psychology so thinking is what he does. That and cocaine.

Back in and Rude takes over again, hitting a gutbuster on the Snake. Would that even hurt a snake? Off to a bearhug but Jake quickly thumbs him in the eye. Rude hits a top rope punch and swivels the hips a bit, only to have his tights pulled down and DDTed for the elimination. Andre comes in and hammers Jake before choking him in the corner….for a DQ. It’s two on one which means nothing as Hennig immediately covers Jake for the pin and the final elimination.

Rating: C-. The lower half of this match being pretty weak really hurts it. Other than Jake, Andre and Duggan, at this point most of these guys didn’t mean much. Rude was on his way up but he was still a glorified midcard guy here. Just not a very interesting match and it definitely didn’t need to go half an hour.

Race would be injured in a match against Hulk Hogan, mostly ending his career. Here he is on fumes at the 1989 Royal Rumble.

King Haku vs. Harley Race

Race was King (a former title) but got hurt and the crown went to Haku. This is his chance to get it back in a one time only return to the ring. Harley shoves over Haku’s throne to start and the brawl is on. Back in and Race pounds away before suplexing Haku down for two. Heenan manages both guys here but Race is kind of the face by default.

They head to the floor again with Race being sent into the post and chopped a few times. Haku sends him back to the floor after a few seconds in the ring as we stall for a few moments. More chops have Race in trouble as Jesse talks about Hogan injuring Race, which is only kind of true (Hogan was in the match when Race was injured). Race no sells a headbutt and gets two off a piledriver. They collide again and Race falls to the floor as Heenan plays both sides, saying he’s for both guys when the other is out of earshot.

Back in and Race punches some more before getting two off a suplex. Haku gets sent to the floor again as it’s pretty clear there’s not much to this match. Race tries to piledrive Haku on the floor but gets backdropped as is the usual result for that move. A second attempt at a piledriver works for Race but not incredibly well. Back in and a clothesline puts Haku down for two but Haku comes back and misses a top rope headbutt. Race misses a headbutt of his own and charges into the superkick from Haku (looked great too) for the pin to keep the crown in Tonga or wherever he’s from.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t terrible and the ending kick looked awesome, but other than that there wasn’t much to see here. Race was clearly old and banged up and he didn’t have a lot to work with in Haku. The crown was mostly a minor title that was only somewhat official anyway but this was a nice rub for Haku. Nothing to see here, but no one cares about anything but the Rumble tonight anyway.

Here’s his last big time match at Great American Bash 1990.

Harley Race vs. Tommy Rich

After this I’m pretty sure we get to the real part of the show. Race is in a singlet which I’ve never seen him wear before. Rich runs him over a few times and avoids an elbow. Off to a headlock and Race’s arm is rammed into the post. Race comes back with a piledriver which knocks Rich to the ramp. Rich gets suplexed out there as Race takes over.

Tommy comes back, knocking Race over the top and sending his head into the apron in the process. A middle rope elbow gets two. There’s a belly to belly from Race followed by a swinging neckbreaker. Rich comes back and tries a slam and they tumble to the floor. Back in, Rich tries a top rope cross body but Race rolls through for the surprise pin.

Rating: D. The match was boring and again I have no idea why it exists. We’re 45 minutes into a roughly three hour show and the best match has been a long Brian Pillman vs. Buddy Landell match. What’s the point of these things anyway? Wouldn’t they be better suited spaced out a bit? Unless they hope they’re having the best final two thirds ever, I really don’t understand this.

Harley Race is one of the wrestlers on almost everyone’s short lists for the greatest of all time. He’s been called one of the toughest men to ever set foot in a ring and it’s easy to see that holding up. Race is as perfect of a wrestler as you’ll ever find and is in the running for best ever. Not many people can say that but Harley Race can. One of the best ever, bar none.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Nitro #192
Date: June 14, 1999
Location: MCI Center, Washington D.C.
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

We’re past the Great American Bash and there is no way things can get any worse than the got last night. I mean I do not believe it’s possible for a promotion to get less interesting and worse than things have been for the last five weeks or so. The main story seems to be Nash vs. Savage/Sid, which should be more interesting due to Sid being totally nuts and semi-mobile. Let’s get to it.

We open with a package of recap stills from last night.

Savage, Sid and the girls arrive.

DJ Ran babbles about the cowboys vs. rappers last night.

Brian Adams/Vincent vs. Curt Hennig/Barry Windham

Adams runs Hennig over with a hard shoulder to start so Curt tries a headlock. That’s fine with Brian who sends him crotch first into the post, causing Hennig to slowly crawl over for a tag. Windham runs Vincent over with a Vader standing clothesline but takes too much time going up, allowing Vincent to actually slam him down.

Back to Curt for some shots to the back and the Hennig neck snap, followed by a belly to back suplex from Barry. Vincent gets dropped by what was supposed to be a double clothesline, but it needs to actually connect to be a clothesline. Vincent comes back with some clotheslines of his own to Barry and we get a hot tag to Brian. Did the Black and White turn face and I wasn’t told? Brian cleans house for a bit until Barry plants him with a DDT. Duncum pulls Adams to the floor and a cowbell shot to the head is enough to pin Vincent.

Rating: D+. When did the Black and White actually get energy in their legs? Granted the match wasn’t anything special but what do you expect from these four? Hennig and Windham can be good when they’re motivated, but that’s a very rare thing to see anymore. I do like them making it more of a stable than just a team but it’s going to get better.

Here’s a press conference from earlier today where Master P. signed with WCW. This is exactly what you would expect, including Master P. using a run on sentence that goes on for about 45 seconds. Mysterio, Konnan and Bischoff have some appreciative lines as well. The fact that this goes to commercial while P. is still talking tells you everything you need to know.

Here are Savage and the girls with something to say. Savage says he’s the boss and last night was crowned the uncrowned World Champion. He talks about how awesome the girls are and has George gyrate a bit in a demonstration of how Nash looked after the elbow, complete with a cover and pin. Savage rambles about being vicious from here on out and says the Wolfpack sucks. This went WAY too long and made Savage sound even crazier than normal.

Nitro Girls.

Pictures of the dogs from last night. Please, anything else.

Hugh Morrus vs. Kidman

Well this is indeed something else. Morrus pounds him down in the corner to start and spins Kidman inside out with a few clotheslines. A running splash in the corner has Kidman reeling but he finally hooks a headscissors to get a breather. Morrus gets dropkicked out to the floor but he catches Kidman’s plancha. Kidman is rammed back first into the post and Jimmy slides in a chair. A distraction lets Morrus drop Kidman ribs first on the top of the chair but Kidman counters a powerbomb and hits the Shooting Star for the pin. At least hold your ribs dude.

Rating: D. Is that really the end of the Morrus attacks the cruiserweights stuff? They had that mess of a battle royal a few weeks back and this is the best they can do? Like I said, Kidman just popped up and finished the match without even holding his ribs. I expect that from Morrus but not Kidman.

DJ Ran.

Here are Flair and Anderson with something to say. Ric threatens to make the eternally present fat boy’s mom go WOO. He’s here tonight to offer Roddy Piper the Vice Presidency so here’s Piper with a full pipe and drums band. Piper accepts the job and talks about how great the old days were with Flair.

This brings out Dean Malenko who says that if someone was waking up from a fifteen year coma and turned on this show, they wouldn’t think anything had changed. Good line. Other greats have passed the torch but Flair wants to hold it forever. That’s not cool with guys like Dean so he’s going to take the torch no matter who likes it.

Anderson says Dean needs to cool it or instead of being a Horseman, he’ll be one of their victims. Arn stands at Flair’s side but Piper gets in Dean’s face. The brawl is on and we see Benoit and Saturn coming to the ring, only to get jumped by the Jersey boys. Bagwell comes out but gets beaten down as well.

Let’s stop for a few seconds here and look at how stupid this is. The young guys are perfectly fine here as everything they said and did made sense. That brings us to Piper, who has spent the last month and a half trying to get Flair’s power and even had him committed to a mental hospital, but now he’s perfectly fine with being Vice President, basically giving him the exact same authority he’s had for over a year now as Commissioner? Isn’t he still Commissioner and in theory second in power?

Unless I’m missing something, Piper has the same power he had before but is now clearly under Flair and has stopped fighting because he and Flair used to be buddies fifteen years ago. If there’s one thing Piper has never been over the years, it’s someone who falls in line and gives up a fight. This is so totally out of character for him and makes the last month and a half totally worthless. Things like these are the ones that make this such a frustrating era for WCW.

Bischoff joins commentary.

Video on Norton vs. Miller

Cat vs. Scott Norton

Why this didn’t happen last night isn’t clear. Miller puts on the red shoes for a dance before the match. Norton charges to the ring with a growl and hammers on Miller to start fast. Cat bails to the floor but gets sent face first into the post and then the barricade. Some chops have Miller in even more trouble before they head back inside. Sonny offers a distraction so Miller can hit a low blow. He loads up the red shoe but the referee goes down because we’re not overbooked enough yet. A superkick to the face with a red shoe is enough to pin Norton.

Rating: D. Miller becoming the dancer is a bit more interesting than just being a karate guy but it doesn’t make stuff like this any easier to sit through. These two have feuded for weeks now and I’m really not sure why they’re even fighting at this point. Is it over who is tougher? It’s really taken three or four matches to answer that?

Nitro Girls.

Disco Inferno vs. Van Hammer

Hammer powers him down to start with a slam and a clothesline, followed by the enhanced Vader model clothesline. Disco comes back with some shots to the back and a great looking clothesline, only to get caught in the Flashback (Alabama Slam). Hammer stays on him with some basic power stuff before putting on a sleeper. This is stupid given that Disco’s finisher is a jawbreaker, which is exactly what he uses to get out.

It’s not the finishing jawbreaker though so Disco has to avoid a charge in the corner and then screw up a neckbreaker. He somehow swung the wrong way. The guy has like four moves and he screwed one of them up? Really? The Last Dance is broken up and we actually get a ref bump in this match. Now the neckbreaker connects but the referee counts a slow two. Hammer grabs a belly to back suplex and a handful of tights for the pin.

Rating: F. We really needed all that in Disco Inferno vs. Van Hammer and Disco managed to screw up a swinging neckbreaker? Why are we seeing so many heel vs. heel matches on this show anyway? Come to think of it, there really aren’t that many faces on the roster, or at least not many worth much. But cool heels are the same as faces right?

Disco Stuns the referee post match.

Dennis Rodman might be coming back. Good grief does he have to?

Stills of the Tag Team Title match.

Fit Finlay vs. Brian Knobs

The fight starts on the floor with Finlay getting dropped throat first on the barricade. Knobs sends him into the steps and they head inside for the first time. Finlay comes back with a hard clothesline, only to have his shoulder go into the post. The nasty one stays in control with his boring offense before charging into the corner. Of course Finlay can’t get in any further offense as he charges into a powerslam. Finlay avoids a splash and stomps away before getting two off the rolling fireman’s carry. Cue Hak for a kendo stick to Knobs’ head, giving Finlay the quick pin.

Rating: D. Well, at least it was short. The problem here is an old one in wrestling: with no title or anything to fight for, these are just one off matches that don’t lead anywhere and don’t change anything. One guy beats another then a third guy wins and then it’s back to the first loser. They’re running in circles and it got old after about ten seconds.

We cut to the crowd and Sable of all people is in the front row.

Here’s Nash for his variety of catchphrases. He’s not out here for Savage though. Instead he wants to talk to Sid face to face. Sid pops up on screen for some jibber jabbering and the vague mention of maybe a title match down the line.

Recap of Flair vs. Piper from last night. Buff was going to get the ball if Piper won, then he cost Piper the match. What does that say about Bagwell?

DJ Ran.

Ric Flair/Roddy Piper/Kanyon/Diamond Dallas Page vs. Saturn/Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko/Buff Bagwell

That’s quite the tag match. The old guys run away to start until we get down to Flair vs. Benoit. We get the required chop off until Benoit backdrops him into the heel corner. Off to Page who has to be saved from a Crossface attempt. Piper comes in and gets his wish to face Bagwell, only to get punched out to the floor a few seconds later. An atomic drop to Piper sends us to a break.

Back with Benoit escaping a belly to back suplex and rolling up Flair for two. We get the pinfall reversal sequence with Benoit coming out on the bad end of it. Flair tries the Figure Four but gets rolled up again, only to have Benoit nail him with an enziguri and put him in the Figure Four instead. Everyone comes in and the good guys put on Figure Fours in a cool spot (Malenko screwed up at first). Bigelow makes the save with a legdrop though and it’s off to Kanyon to work on Chris. A middle rope Fameasser drops Benoit and Kanyon brings in Page as the heels have him in trouble.

Flair comes back in for chops before it’s back to Kanyon, who sends Benoit into the discus lariat from Page. Piper gets the tag for his lame punches before it’s back to Page for a stomping. We get the required missed tag to Saturn, allowing the Jersey boys to suplex Benoit down. Page goes up for the middle rope jump that is clearly designed to jump into a raised boot and nothing else, allowing for the hot tag to Bagwell. Everything breaks down until it’s only Malenko and Flair left in the ring. Ric knocks him out to the floor but turns around and takes the Blockbuster for the surprise pin.

Rating: C+. Not bad here with the young guys FINALLY getting a big win. However, this brings up the important question: how can Flair possibly come back from this devastating loss to a fluke move from a former champion that has been rising up the card for years? I mean, clearly such a loss completely cripples Flair’s career and ends any potential he’s ever going to have right?

Nitro Girls.

Hak vs. Rick Steiner

No TV belt again this week but Rick does use a collar to nail Hak upside the head. Some chair shots send Hak up the aisle and Steiner takes him backstage. They hit each other with various metal objects before moving on to a big SUV. Rick takes him to the top of the car and rams Hak head first onto the hood. Hak staggers around and falls over a motorcycle, freaking Bischoff out all over again.

Barely able to stand, Hak finds what looks to be a piece of a car engine and chokes Rick with it, only to get choked right back. They fight over to the Hummer from last week (yet we still don’t know who drove it?) and Hak is knocked through the roof. The door opens and it’s STING inside. A few ball bat shots drop Rick and Sting throws him through the side ofM an RV which just happened to be there. I’m assuming the match has been thrown out at this point.

They come back to ringside so Sting can beat on him with the bat some more. Sting: “What’s black and brown and looks good on Sting? A doberman! What’s black and white and looks good on Steiner? STING!” The beating continues until Sting picks Steiner up on his shoulder and carries him to the back.

DJ Ran.

Psychosis/La Parka vs. Konnan/Rey Mysterio Jr.

The No Limit Soldiers and Master P. are out in full force. Mysterio and Psychosis get things going with Rey climbing onto his shoulders and crawling downing into a sunset flip for two. Psychosis gets sent out to the floor and it’s off to Konnan vs. La Parka with Konnan actually climbing the corner for a Sin Cara armdrag. A headscissors puts Psychosis down and Rey nails a springboard legdrop to La Parka.

Back in and Psychosis gets in a cheap shot from the apron to take over and La Parka adds a kick to the head of the head. Konnan slips by him and makes a tag off to Rey, setting up a double dive to the outside. Back in and Konnan beats up both guys with ease before stereo headscissors get stereo pins on Psychosis and La Parka.

Rating: D. This was pretty messy as I could barely keep track of who was legal for most of the match. Psychosis and La Parka were mostly there as pinballs to bounce around the ring and never be in any real trouble. The Master P. schilling from Bischoff is going to get old in a hurry but at least he was a fairly big name back then.

The Soldiers come in to celebrate but we hear Rap Is Crap as Hennig and Windham have taken over DJ Ran’s booth. Finally they do something worthwhile. The rap guys storm the booth and P. shouts HOODY WHO or whatever it is and the fans are just silent. A rap song is played and that’s about it.

WCW World Title: Sid Vicious vs. Kevin Nash

Nash is defending of course. Savage and the girls come out and there’s no Sid. Randy says everyone knows he pinned Nash last night and wants another shot right now. Nash says come get your belt so Savage says he’s the Unified World Champion. He gets in and we have a bell, so I guess this is a new match.

WCW World Title: Randy Savage vs. Kevin Nash

Nash hammers away in the corner until George comes in for a distraction so Savage can hit him low. Miss Madness’ dropkick hits Savage by mistake and here’s Sid as well. The beatdown is on and the match is quickly thrown out.

Sid and Savage destroy Nash until Sting finally comes out for the save to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This was another lame show and the Piper stuff is stupid but that eight man was a nice glimmer of hope. Unlike the paranoid guys in the main event, Flair is at least smart enough to know that he can lose one match and then cut a good promo to make people hate him all over again and get his heat right back. If we can get Piper off screen and let Sid and Nash have their watch big man matches (they have to be better than Savage vs. Nash), things could actually be tolerable around here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Survivor Series 1991
Date: November 27, 1991
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 17,500
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

Things are a bit different here but the real change will come next year. The main thing here is that we have a world title match in the first singles match in the history of this show. Undertaker has gone from squashing jobbers to the stars to squashing people out of the company to terrorizing Savage and Liz at their wedding to being #1 contender. Hogan hasn’t done anything since Wrestlemania so a change of opponents will do him a world of good. Oh and Ric Flair is here. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from Superstars with Savage being tied up in the ropes as Jake Roberts made the cobra bite Savage’s arm. Piper immediately ran down from the broadcast booth to try to help. Liz came out screaming as well. This is when Savage was a commentator and retired but looking for reinstatement.

The key thing is he had been scheduled to be on the PPV as a captain against Jake’s team, but because of this, both captains were pulled off the show with three days’ notice, basically baiting and switching the fans. The actual match between the two of them would be a week later on a different PPV called Tuesday in Texas, which was another $20.

Anyway back on Superstars, Savage can’t stand up because of the snake bite but he keeps trying to fight Jake. They finally get Savage on a stretcher and start wheeling him away but he falls off. Now we get to the unintentional comedy part of this. Savage falls off and remember that Vince is on commentary here, so he’s FREAKING over all this stuff. The camera cuts to a crying child in the crowd and Vince loses it, audibly cracking up on air and trying to talk about “complete chaos” while clearly laughing.

We get the announcement from Jack Tunney that Savage and Roberts won’t be allowed to wrestle at Survivor Series. This is translated as “HAHA WE GOT YOUR MONEY ALREADY!”

Gorilla and Bobby talk for a bit.

Team Ric Flair vs. Team Roddy Piper

Ric Flair, Ted DiBiase, The Mountie, The Warlord

Roddy Piper, Bret Hart, Davey Boy Smith, Virgil

Roddy was Flair’s first feud in the company as not only did you know the matches would be good, but the promos would be awesome too. Bret was feuding with Mountie over the IC Title, Smith was feuding with Warlord over who was stronger and Virgil was feuding with DiBiase because who else was he going to feud with?

Flair has the REAL World Title with him here, which is mosaiced but if you know your titles, you can see a WWF Tag Team Title, which looks really weird if you’re in the arena (if you’re not familiar with what I’m talking about, the short version is Flair was NWA Champion, left the NWA, wasn’t paid back for the deposit he put down on the belt, brought it to the WWF, got sued, and couldn’t use the title in the angle they were doing anymore so they would substitute in another belt which was censored in storyline.)

Big reaction for Bret, who has finally split from Neidhart and is IC Champion as of Summerslam. DiBiase starts for his team against Piper which is a pretty awesome match. No managers are allowed at ringside this year but Sherri is there anyway. Flair sneaks in and blasts Piper in the back to give Ted an early advantage. Piper atomic drops Ted and Sherri comes in to choke him which somehow isn’t a DQ. Piper kisses her and punches DiBiase to take over.

Sherri is sent to the back and Roddy brings in Smith. The good guys work over the arm of DiBiase with Virgil of all people getting the biggest pop. After all four go in they start going around again with all four getting in another set of shots on the arm. Bret stays in but misses a knee in the corner to put himself in trouble. They trade near falls before Bret takes him right back down by the arm.

DiBiase hiptosses him down and wisely tags in Flair. Bret starts with some of his favorite moves before tagging in Davey Boy to slingshot Flair into the corner. Piper wants in but Flair stops the tag. There’s the gorilla press to Flair and the tag to Piper, drawing a BIG pop from the crowd. Piper goes nuts with punches, knocking Flair to the floor where we get a Flair Flop.

Back inside and it’s off to Warlord who Piper wants to try a test of strength against. Piper is just playing though and brings in Smith for the big power match. Smith hits some shoulder blocks but misses a charge and it’s off to Mountie. Bret tags in and Mountie immediately hits the floor. Instead here’s DiBiase who gets elbowed off the middle rope for two. Ted and Bret hit head to head and both guys are down.

Mountie is willing to get in there now but it’s back to Davey instead. Smith gorilla presses Mountie and pumps him about three times before slamming him down for no cover. Off to Flair who chops away at the Bulldog which doesn’t work at all. DiBiase and Flair try a double team but get double clotheslined instead. There’s the powerslam to Mountie but he’s not legal. Flair comes off the top with a shot to the back of Smith’s head for the pin and the elimination. Both guys were legal too.

Piper immediately charges in but Flair tags DiBiase back instead. Flair comes in to face a downed Piper but Ric is put in the Figure Four almost immediately. Off to Mountie vs. Virgil and Mountie can’t get a tag out from anyone, because everyone is afraid of Virgil. I can’t say I blame them. He might tell them about how great he is. Flair comes in and has zero luck so it’s DiBiase vs. Virgil again. Ted powerslams him down and it’s immediately back to the Warlord.

Virgil gets sent to the floor and Flair sends him into the steps, with Virgil doing an awful job of pretending to slam into them. The full nelson goes on but everything breaks down and Bret comes off the top to take out Warlord, giving the illegal Piper the pin to tie us up at 3. Piper vs. DiBiase now before Virgil is quickly tagged in. Virgil slaps the Million Dollar Dream on DiBiase but Ted sends him into the buckle to escape.

Here’s Flair again with a belly to back supelx before it’s back to Mountie. Every remaining heel takes their shots on Virgil which is likely the best possibly option. I mean, do you want VIRGIL getting the hot tag? Flair covers him for two and puts his feet on the ropes because that’s what Flair does. DiBiase comes in and ducks his head, only to get caught by a swinging neckbreaker. There’s the hot tag to Piper who no sells everything Flair throws at him. Everything breaks down and Flair is sent to the floor. That’s important because the referee disqualifies EVERYONE in the ring, but Flair was outside and is the sole survivor.

Rating: B. Gah this was going AWESOME until the pretty lame ending. Having Flair be the sole survivor is a smart move though as it makes the fans hate him even more. This was a GREAT setup though and was on pace to be a classic before the ending. To be fair though, at the pace they were going the match would have been an hour long if they were going to do a full version. Still though, what we got was very good.

Gene is on the platform and brings out Savage to talk about Jake, because we can’t have the match on this show so let’s talk about it instead. Savage talks about being bitten by the snake and being able to see and hear Liz crying, which is the worst thing Jake could do. He promises to be all over Jake like melted butter. Oh man stuff just got REAL. Liz comes out which is a big deal apparently. As usual, she has nothing to say.

Gorilla thinks Tuesday in Texas may be on TV! Give me a break.

Team Mustafa vs. Team Slaughter

Colonel Mustafa, Berzerker, Skinner, Hercules

Sgt. Slaughter, Tito Santana, Jim Duggan, Texas Tornado

A lot of these guys are on their way out. Hercules would be in WCW by May, Tornado would job to the stars until leaving in July as would Mustafa (Iron Sheik), and the rest of the guys would do nothing of note for the rest of their time in the company. Kerry (Tornado) looks high as a kite and almost falls off the apron getting into the ring. This is pretty recently after Slaughter’s face turn as he was a heel at Summerslam. This isn’t exactly the most talent laden match ever and the only feud is Slaughter vs. Mustafa.

Tito and Skinner start with Santana taking over with a headlock. There’s the flying forearm out of nowhere and Skinner hits the floor without a cover. Off to Berzerker vs. Tornado which would work a lot better down in Dallas. Berzerker (a crazy viking who tried to stab Undertaker with a sword) misses a dropkick and it’s off to Mustafa. After some very brief offense, Kerry tumbles to his corner and brings in Duggan to face Hercules, which was in the first ever match at Survivor Series.

Duggan gets taken down by double and triple teaming and it’s off to Mustafa. He loads up his curled boots (it’s a Sheik thing) and does nothing with them. Thanks for wasting our time with that. Duggan pounds away and backdrops Mustafa down before the hot tag to Slaughter. The big showdown is an atomic drop and a clothesline to Mustafa for the elimination.

Berzerker comes in with some clotheslines and a kick to the fat gut of Slaughter. A boot to Slaughter’s face puts him down and it’s off to Hercules for some two counts. Back to the viking who gets crotched on the top rope and kicked in the legs. Off to Duggan who clotheslines Berzerker to the floor and backdrops him back there a few seconds later. Tornado comes in and pounds away on him before it’s off to Hercules again. Tito gets a blind tag and hits a forearm to the back of the head (El Paso Del Muerte) for the pin and the elimination.

Skinner, the guy that owned now former developmental program FCW, comes in as it’s 4-2. When you have Skinner and Berzerker as your only guys left, the team is in big trouble. A blind tag brings in Slaughter who rolls up Skinner for the elimination. Slaughter whips Berzerker into Duggan’s clothesline for the elimination and the win.

Rating: F. The match sucked, it was never in doubt, and the biggest deal on the heel team was Skinner, who would get an IC Title shot soon after this. What a horrible match and one of the most worthless ones in the history of the show so far, which is covering quite a bit of ground. Nothing to see here at all.

Here’s Jake to plug Tuesday in Texas some more. To be fair, Trust Me Jake was AWESOME. Jake swears he didn’t know that the snake had venom in it still but making Liz cry excited him. God has told Jake that God doesn’t like Okerlund, so let’s blame everyone but Jake. I said he was awesome, not that he made sense. No reptiles are allowed at the match between Savage and Roberts. He wants to kiss Liz and that’s about it.

We recap Hogan vs. Taker. Flair confronted Hogan in Taker’s Funeral Parlor and went off on him about hearing about Hogan for years. Now Flair is here and wants to know what Hogan is going to do about it. Hogan pulled off the shirt and Taker came out of a standing casket behind Hulk and hit him with the urn. Piper and Savage ran out of the broadcast booth with chairs but Taker literally swatted away Savage’s swing. Taker rips Hogan’s cross off ala Andre in 87 and leaves.

WWF World Title: Undertaker vs. Hulk Hogan

Taker is “undefeated” here, which means overseas tours and house shows don’t count because Tito beat him in Spain and Warrior beat him on a bunch of house shows. Feeling out process to start with no one being able to get a real advantage. Taker shoulders Hogan and Hulk regroups a bit while Taker reaches to the urn. Back in and Taker chokes away in the corner in a shot you see in a lot of Taker video packages.

Bearer chokes Hogan a bit and Taker slams him. A big elbow misses and the place pops loudly. Hulk pounds away but he can’t put Taker down. A slam doesn’t work nor does an elbow to the head. Hogan clotheslines Taker to the floor where the dead man lands on his feet and pulls Hogan outside. Back in and Taker chokes away some more as does Bearer. Taker starts smothering him as you can see the Hogan super fan, a guy who dressed up like Hulk (including yellow trunks) sitting in the front row and freaking out.

This hold goes on for a good while, which is just Taker having his hand on Hogan’s face and doing nothing else. By long I mean like two and a half minuets. When the whole match is only thirteen minutes, that’s a long stretch. Hogan comes back with some shoulder blocks that don’t do much, only to have Taker clothesline him down again. There’s the Tombstone but Hogan is up before a cover. He pounds away on Taker and knocks him down to one knee which is a new thing for Taker.

Hogan gets a good slam as Flair is on his way to the ring. I miss that black and white robe. That thing was spiffy. Hogan takes out Flair with a right hand and big boots Taker, only to have Bearer grab his leg. Taker loads up the Tombstone as Flair slides in a chair. The piledriver on the chair gives us a new world champion and a decisive face pop for the dead man. Taker holding the title like it’s a coupon for a free coffee at a Shell station is a nice touch.

Rating: D. Yeah this match completely sucked but we have a new champion and a reason to watch Flair vs. Hogan, which never happened for various reason. Hogan would beat Taker for the title at Tuesday in Texas six days later, but the title would be held up and decided in the Rumble, where Flair would win it and set up Wrestlemania. Bad match, but a BIG moment.

People come out to check on Hogan as Gorilla rips into Flair. Hogan takes awhile to leave, likely to let the fans get over some of their shock.

Roddy is in the back and goes on a big rant against Tunney and Flair and Taker.

Flair and Perfect say they told us this would happen and now they’ve been proven right. Flair is the REAL World Champion now. Tunney needs to stop distorting the belt.

Intermission, which means we see a graphic for fifteen minutes.

Gene recaps what’s happened so far in case someone ordered the PPV halfway through for some reason.

The Natural Disasters and IRS are ready for the LOD and Boss Man. That’s the main event people. They’re not even hiding the screwing over of the fans anymore.

LOD and the Boss Man are ready too. Seriously there’s nothing else to say here. They say exactly what you would expect them to say and nothing else. Hawk gets ready to do the WHAT A RUSH line but as he loads it up, Sean interrupts him to say Gene is with Jack Tunney. Hawk gives him a look that would stop a tank and says his catchphrase, then lets Sean throw it to Gene.

Tunney announces Hogan vs. Taker II at Tuesday in Texas. He’ll be at ringside as well, which makes the boredom levels shoot through the roof, if that’s even possible.

Team Nasty Boys vs. Team Rockers

Nasty Boys, Beverly Brothers

Rockers, Bushwhackers

This is right before the Rockers split and they’re already having issues. This is regular rules, which means individual eliminations and not one loss means both team members are gone. Butch and Knobbs get things going as Gorilla and Bobby talk about Hogan vs. Taker II. Butch hits a running knee lift and it’s off to Luke. The Whackers take over on the Nasties with a pair of double clotheslines.

The Beverly Brothers come in and do about as well as the Nasties with both Brothers taking a Battering Ram. The Rockers double dropkick the Nasties and the good guys have cleared the ring. It’s Shawn vs. Beau (the other is Blake) now as the announcers debate which guy on either team is the brains. A backbreaker puts Shawn down and it’s back to Knobbs. Luke comes in and avoids a splash in the corner but whacks his arms too much, allowing Knobbs to hit a middle rope clothesline for the elimination.

Off to Shawn vs. Sags with Jerry suplexing him down. Gorilla talks about how tonight will culminate at Tuesday in Texas. Again, screw you fans who bought this, as you just got part one. Some idiot fan stands up and poses for the camera so the shots keep cutting away a lot. The Rockers work on Sags’ arm before it’s off to Blake. Gorilla somehow can’t tell the Rockers apart, even though they pretty much look nothing alike.

A superkick puts Blake down but Beverly comes back with knees in the corner. Marty comes off the middle rope and shoves the referee for no apparent reason. It doesn’t go anywhere so I guess it was a mistake. Must be Colombian coke for Marty tonight. Off to Beau who doesn’t do much other than allow a tag to Butch who cleans house. The Beverlies double team him with a backdrop into a facejam for the pin and the elimination.

It’s Nasties/Beverlies vs. Rockers now with Marty coming in again. Marty monkey flips and ranas Beau down for two as Heenan and Gorilla trade statements of excitement. An enziguri puts Beau down again and it’s off to an armbar. It’s also off to Shawn who doesn’t do as well as you would expect against one of the Beverly Brothers. Off to Blake who jumps over Beau and lands on Shawn’s back in a move that the World’s Greatest Tag Team made famous.

Out of nowhere Shawn grabs a backslide on Beau for the pin to make it 3-1. Sags is in next as Gorilla thinks Marty should reach further for a tag. Even though the Rockers would split less than a month later, it wasn’t clear yet who would have gotten the super push. The Nasties head to the floor and Shawn clotheslines Sags off the apron and superkicks Knobbs down. Back in and Sags takes over again. Marty’s eyes are just gone and he looks awful.

Blake comes in again and gets kicked in the face, allowing for a falling tag to Marty. A big jumping back elbow takes Knobbs down and a snapmare gets two. Knobbs takes Jannetty down again and Heenan talks about Tuesday in Texas. Off to Sags with a powerslam and a belly to back suplex before it’s back to Knobbs. Marty gets his knees up to stop a middle rope splash and there’s the tag to Shawn. Everything breaks down and Marty swings Sags’ feet into Shawn’s face, resulting in Knobbs rolling Michaels up for the pin.

That leaves us with Marty vs. Blake and the Nasties which I don’t see going well for the coke head. Shawn freaks out on him before he leaves too to even further tease the tension. Marty starts with Knobbs and hits a middle rope bulldog but Jerry takes him down almost immediately and knocks him to the floor. A powerslam from Blake puts Marty down and the Nasties head to the floor. Jannetty dives on both of them and slams Blake’s face into the mat. Marty hooks a terrible looking small package on Sags but Knobbs rolls them over to give Jerry the final eliminating pin.

Rating: D. Man alive this was a long match. That’s the problem the rest of this show has created: there’s nothing else worth watching for the rest of the night and now they’re just filling in time to say that you’re getting a PPV that means something, when really you need to see the sequel to get the full thing. But hey, who cares about treating the fans right when you can get their money?

Gorilla and Bobby plug Tuesday in Texas again.

Legion of Doom/Big Boss Man vs. IRS/Natural Disasters

This is your main event people. Let that sink in for a minute. The LOD are the tag champions and IRS and Boss Man are having a worthless midcard feud. Boss Man and IRS start things off with the tax dude (if you need help figuring out who that is you’re beyond my help) getting thrown all over the place. Off to Animal vs. Earthquake which fires the crowd up a bit.

They collide and Animal’s cross body is caught in a backbreaker in an impressive display of strength from Quake. Back to IRS to face Hawk with the latter working on the arm. Typhoon gets the tag, only to have IRS thrown at him by Hawk. Off to Earthquake who carries Hawk to the heel corner. IRS and Boss Man come in again and it’s a briefcase shot to Boss Man’s head for the elimination.

It’s Typhoon vs. Animal now and the Disasters double team Animal in the corner. Quake suplexes him down as Monsoon talks about Bobo Brazil. IRS hits a top rope right hand for two and Typhoon puts on a bearhug. Animal escapes and hits a clothesline before tagging in Hawk. IRS misses a briefcase shot to the head and hits Typhoon by mistake, giving Hawk the easy pin.

Quake wants to fight IRS now but walks off with Typhoon instead, making it the LOD vs. IRS. Hawk powerslams IRS down but a charge goes shoulder first into the post. Hawk gets sent face first into the steps as we continue to fill time by having IRS look like he has a chance. We hit the chinlock as the announcers talk about Thanksgiving dinner. Not hot tag brings in Animal who cleans whatever is left in the house. IRS tries to walk out but runs into Boss Man in the aisle. Hawk hits a top rope clothesline for the win.

Rating: D+. We go from Hogan vs. Andre II to this in five years? That should give you a good idea as to what you’ve got going on with this show. The match was nothing and there was no reason to get excited about it, because the whole reason the match was happening had been postponed to Tuesday. In Texas.

Hogan won’t talk to the cameras about what happened.

Gene is in the bowels of the building with Bearer and Taker. Hogan will rest in peace. In Texas. They look in a casket to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. Let’s take a look at what we had on this show: a really good opener, a horrible second match, a bad yet historic third match, a bad fourth match, and a worthless fifth match. This is all interspersed with a bunch of commercials for Tuesday in Texas, which is possibly the biggest bait and switch in company history. This show made me mad because it’s a big flip off to the fans, and that’s not acceptable. Watch the opener and that’s about it.

Ratings Comparison

Team Flair vs. Team Piper

Original: A-

Redo: B

Team Slaughter vs. Team Mustafa

Original: F

Redo: F

Undertaker vs. Hulk Hogan

Original: C-

Redo: D

Team Nasty Boys vs. Team Rockers

Original: D

Redo: D

Legion of Doom/Big Boss Man vs. IRS/Natural Disasters

Original: D

Redo: D+

Overall Rating:

Original: D+

Redo: D-

A little worse this time, but the same problems still plague this show. Screw you Vince.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/10/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-1991-here-lies-hogan/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00NPPH0WI

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Survivor Series 1989
Date: November 23, 1989
Location: Rosemont Horizon, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 15,294
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura

We’re at a major changing point with this show, as we now have four man teams and five full matches, instead of the previous years with four matches. The matches are shorter now, but there are some kind of head scratching booking choices here. We do however get the greatest Survivor Series team ever on this show though, so we have that to look forward to. Let’s get to it.

Also stay tuned after the end for a special BONUS MATCH REVIEW!

We open with a video shot from a car going up to the arena, going through the doors, at the souvenir stands (12.99 for a shirt. Today that might get you a sleeve) and now it’s time for opening show promos.

Hogan is thankful for time with his family and to be the strongest force in the universe. And for his team.

DiBiase is glad he’s rich.

Jake likes his snake and the DDT.

Demolition is glad they don’t have to fight each other.

Savage is glad he’s the Macho King.

Duggan is proud to be an American.

Bravo is glad Earthquake is on his side.

Dusty is thankful for his polka dots.

Beefcake for cutting hair.

Martel for his looks.

Rude for his body.

Piper because he’s not Ricky Rude. Burn.

Genius for being the smartest man in the world.

Perfect for being his name.

The Bushwackers for sardine stuffing.

Heenan for being surrounded by the Heenan Family.

Warrior should be thankful that Ritalin is soon to be available.

We run down the cards with those nifty squares.

Dream Team vs. Enforcers

Dusty Rhodes, Brutus Beefcake, Tito Santana, Red Rooster

Big Bossman, Bad News Brown, Rick Martel, Honky Tonk Man

This is mainly over Dusty vs. Bossman which is Dusty’s first big feud in the company. Dusty stole the nightstick and the hat which has ticked Bossman off. The rest of the guys are there because it’s Survivor Series and we need six more guys. Brutus’ music was awesome, just like the names for the teams. Tito and Honky start things off and for the third straight year Honky and Brutus are in the opening match on this show. I’m not sure what that means.

Tito takes over quickly but Honky gets in one kick before RUNNING over to make a tag to Martel. Rick dropkicks Tito down as Jesse talks about the now broken up Strike Force. Tito atomic drops Martel for two and everyone but Bad News gets in the ring at once. Nothing happens but it’s cool to see. Brown not getting in is perfect for his character too. Off to the Boss Man who is immediately armdragged down by Tito.

Off to Dusty who pounds away as the fans go nuts. Chicago was a big NWA town so it’s easy to see why he’s popular. Brutus comes in to another pop but Boss Man takes him down with a few shots to the back. Honky comes in but misses a fist drop. Beefcake hammers away but Martel makes a blind tag and takes over on Brutus. Rooster comes in and the place goes quiet. When you can’t get a reaction in Chicago, things aren’t that good for you.

Martel hits some knees to the face and it’s off to Honky who dances a lot. Boss Man comes in and they slug it out with the big man taking over with ease. Martel comes back in and drops some knees but gets rolled up for two. Back to Honky as Rooster is in trouble. I’m digging these four man versions already as the match seems less crowded and the guys can stay in the ring a little longer. Rooster and Honky collide and it’s a double tag to give us another battle of Strike Force.

Tito goes loco on Martel and beats him down, but Martel breaks the figure four. Santana tries an O’Connor Roll but Martel rolls through and grabs the trunks for the first elimination. Dusty comes in next and hits a dropkick (and a decent one) followed by the big elbow…for two? We must be in the WWF. Brutus comes in to work on the arm and stomp on Martel’s face when he tries a reverse monkey flip.

Rooster comes in and can’t seem to figure out what to do with a headlock. Martel is like screw you you nitwit and backbreaks him down. Off to Boss Man who slaps on a bearhug. Gorilla keeps calling Brutus the team captain but the team is called the Dream Team and Dusty came out last. Rooster bites out of the hold and Boss Man tags Bad News who isn’t interested in coming in.

After Bad News gets pulled in he takes over because he’s fighting a freaking rooster. Just like last year though, Bad News accidentally gets hit by his partner and he walks out. It’s three on three now and we have Boss Man vs. Brutus. After the Barber gets beaten on some more it’s off to Honky for a belly to back suplex. Out of nowhere Brutus hits a high knee to Honky for the fast pin, making it 3-2 (Brutus, Dusty and Rooster vs. Boss Man and Martel).

Martel immediately comes in and puts a chinlock on Brutus which doesn’t last long. The second version of it does though as the match slows down a lot. A backbreaker puts Brutus down and he goes into the buckle a few times. Brutus grabs a sunset flip again out of nowhere to eliminate Martel and it’s 3-1. Brutus tags in Rooster to throw a bone to Boss Man and after some punches from Rooster, the Boss Man Slam gets the fast pin and it’s 2-1.

Dusty is in next but it’s quickly off to Brutus for some knees to the chest. Back to Dusty as the good guys are using some intelligence (yes, Dusty and Brutus are using intelligence) with the fast tags. Boss Man gets whipped into the ropes and Dusty takes him down with a cross body, likely rupturing at least three vital organs of Boss Man and getting the final pin. I may have been right about those organs.

Rating: C+. Nothing special here but it was fine for an opener. The fans liked most of the good guys and other than Rooster, that was a solid set of guys. The match wasn’t competitive or anything for the most part after the first five minutes but there was nothing particularly bad about it I guess.

Boss Man destroys Dusty with the nightstick and cuffs him to the ropes to keep up the beating. Brutus makes the save with the clippers.

Boss Man brags about what he just did.

The King’s Court, Savage’s team, is read.

The 4x4s say the same thing but much louder.

4x4s vs. King’s Court

Jim Duggan, Ronnie Garvin, Bret Hart, Hercules

Randy Savage, Earthquake, Dino Bravo, Greg Valentine

The 4x4s all jog to the ring with boards in their hands. This would be the second or third time that Bret was teased as a singles guy but it wouldn’t click for another year and a half. The only major feud here is Savage vs. Duggan over the crown but that’s about it. The board carriers clear the ring and stand in the ring for awhile. It looks like we start with Garvin vs. Savage but Duggan chases Savage to the floor before it’s Hercules who actually starts for the 4x4s.

Herc pounds away and slams Savage down, but right into the King’s corner and it’s off to Valentine. Greg gets atomic dropped and it’s off to Bret. Bret works on the arm for a bit and it’s off to Duggan for some right hands. Garvin comes in and I forgot about this feud. That’s likely due to me trying to block anything Garvin related from my mind. Garvin gets taken into the heel corner and it’s off to Bravo for some power.

Hercules comes back in to make it power vs. power with the dark haired guy (Hercules for you young’uns) taking over. And never mind as Earthquake comes in, kills Hercules with a shot to the head and hits the Earthquake for the elimination. Duggan comes in and collides with Quake (he’s still Canadian Earthquake here but that didn’t last long at all) but can’t do anything to him. Bret, being the smart guy that he is, sneaks up on Earthquake and school boys him so Duggan can take him down.

Off to Garvin who pounds away but Earthquake is like boy I’m gonna make you my pizza toppings. Bravo comes in to pound away on Garvin as does Valentine. The Figure Four is countered and Garvin rolls Hammer (Valentine) up for two. Savage drops a knee and it’s back to Bravo to work Garvin over a bit more. A backslide gets two for Ronnie and it’s back to Savage very quickly.

It’s back to Valentine even faster and they chop it out but Garvin makes a blind tag to Duggan who hits the three point clothesline to eliminate Valentine and tie things up. Bravo comes in again and is quickly followed by Savage and then Earthquake. Quake misses a big elbow and there’s the tag to Garvin. He beats on whomever he can and headbutts Bravo down. Here’s the still stupid Garvin Stomp (Orton does it now) and he tries the Sharpshooter (Garvin used it before Bret) but Dino breaks it up.

NOW we get somewhere with a double tag to Savage vs. Hart. These two had an awesome match on SNME a year or so before this and Bret takes over with an atomic drop. Bret loads up something on the legs but Savage dives away and tags in Bravo again. The middle rope elbow gets two for Bret and it’s back to Garvin who immediately walks into a side suplex to make it 3-2.

It’s Duggan vs. Earthquake again with Jim pounding away in the corner. Bret gets the tag and a double clothesline puts the big man down. Savage comes in and Bret is all like BRING IT ON. Well maybe not that loud but you get the idea. Savage gets tied up in the ropes and Duggan chokes away like the hero he is. Randy gets Bret down and misses a knee drop, allowing Hart to hit a backbreaker for two.

A small package gets two for Bret and Savage charges into a boot. Bret misses a middle rope elbow and it’s off to Bravo again. Dino puts on a bearhug because this match hasn’t dragged enough already. Off to Earthquake for some high powered choking followed by an elbow drop for two. The crowd popped a bit for the kickout which is more than can be said for most of this match.

Bret finally breaks free and tags Hacksaw in again so he can slam Savage. And never mind as Bret tags back in about 15 seconds later. Bravo works over the mostly beaten Bret and Hart misses a charge, going shoulder first into the post. A shoulder breaker sets up the Savage Elbow to make it 3-1.

It’s off to Quake to beat on Duggan in the corner but he misses a charge and everyone comes in. Duggan throws everyone into the corner into Earthquake and the Court all bails to the floor. Savage and Bravo get clotheslined down but Quake jumps Duggan to take him down. A big elbow gets two on Duggan and it’s back to Bravo. Duggan avoids a charging Savage but Sherri lowbridges him and it eventually draws a countout.

Rating: D+. For the life of me I don’t get why Duggan didn’t get pinned here. The ending is rather lame and it doesn’t help a match that ran WAY too long anyway. You could easily cut ten minutes out of this and no one would have missed anything at all. The match was dull outside of the moments when Bret was in there, which is something we’ll touch on more later.

Duggan chases them off with the board.

The Million Dollar Team is ready for a Thanksgiving feast in the form of the Hulkamaniacs.

Dusty Rhodes is hurt badly.

The Genius reads a poem about Thanksgiving.

Hulkamaniacs vs. Million Dollar Team

Hulk Hogan, Demolition, Jake Roberts

Ted DiBiase, Zeus, Powers of Pain

My goodness that’s an amazing face team. Ok, so now I get to explain Zeus. A month or two ago, WWE released No Holds Barred, a movie Hogan made in the late 80s, on DVD. The villain in the movie is named Zeus and you may notice he’s here. Zeus is played by an actor (not a wrestler mind you) named Tom Lister and the idea is that he’s living his character and is coming to beat Hogan up “in real life” because he lost in the movie. This would be like the guy who played Goldfinger trying to get revenge on Sean Connery. To make things even better, this was originally going to be the main event of Wrestlemania 6.

I’m sure you can see the problems mounting up already, with the main one being that Zeus doesn’t know how to wrestle. Other than that, there’s the idea that the movie barely broke even so a lot of people didn’t get the idea of the story. A positive twist to this is that a lot of people didn’t get the idea of the story, which probably kept the company from being laughed at more than they already were. Zeus wrestled like four matches ever, most of which were short or tag matches so he wasn’t in the ring long. WCW, the geniuses that they are, brought him back seven years later and put him in the main event of another PPV.

Anyway back to the match. The Million Dollar Team won’t let them get inside until Jake fires in the snake to chase them all away. Hogan and Demolition are the champions that you would expect them to be at this point. Zeus wants to fight Hogan one on one but their respective partners hold them both back. Jake starts with Zeus but the actor wants Hogan. They stare each other down and Hogan bounces off Zeus. Hogan pounds away but nothing hurts Zeus at all.

Instead Hulk finds the one weak spot on Zeus by raking the eyes. He slams Zeus down and amazingly enough, IT DOESN’T REALLY DO MUCH. Barbarian hits Hogan in the back of the head and Zeus twists Hogan’s neck around. He starts choking away and it’s a DQ for Zeus who is only pulled off by DiBiase and the promise of money. Just to clarify, we’re giving the Hulkamaniacs, an 80s dream team, a man advantage. Also why would DiBiase get Zeus off Hogan? Wouldn’t Hogan’s pain and agony make DiBiase happy?

It’s DiBiase vs. Hogan now and Hulk is in big trouble. DiBiase hammers away in the corner but Hulk gets a boot up in the corner and there’s the tag to Jake. A clothesline puts DiBiase on the floor and it’s off to Ax who demolishes DiBiase with ease. Smash comes in and they both pound Ted down. Back to Hogan who triple teams DiBiase along with Demolition. Back to Ax with a clothesline but DiBiase elbows him down out of desperation.

Off to Warlord as these two teams are still feuding even a year later. Come to think of it there wasn’t much else in between for those guys either. Dang did the division fall that fast in just a year? A shoulder breaker puts Ax down but Barbarian misses a middle rope elbow. Off to Warlord again but he gets clotheslined down. Fuji trips Ax up and a basic elbow drop is enough to tie the score.

It’s Smash vs. Warlord now but it’s quickly off to Hogan. Hulk softens him up to bring in Jake, which Jesse calls a mismatch. That’s likely based on power but I’m pretty sure Jake is taller than Warlord. Off to Smash but Warlord pokes him in the eye to take over. Back to Barbarian whose big boot is caught but Smash misses the elbow. DiBiase comes back in with those falling punches of his which get two.

It’s chinlock time with a knee in Smash’s back. DiBiase misses a middle rope back elbow of all things but Smash won’t tag for some reason. Barbarian makes a blind tag so the hot shot Smash hits on DiBiase doesn’t count and Barbarian takes his head off with a top rope clothesline for the pin. Jake comes in next but he can’t DDT Barbarian. Barbie whips Jake into the corner with authority although I’m not sure who’s authority it was.

Back to Warlord as things slow down a lot due to exhaustion. Jake dives for a tag but DiBiase slaps Hogan to draw him in instead. DiBiase piledrives Jake but Roberts gets a foot on the ropes to Jesse’s annoyance. Barbarian misses a headbutt and there’s the hot tag to Barbarian. He cleans house and gets two on Barbarian off a big boot. A suplex gets the same and my goodness how rare is it to see Hogan get a two count? Hogan fights off both Powers of Pain but they catch him in a spike piledriver which is good for a DQ for both of them, making it Hogan/Roberts vs. DiBiase.

Dibiase drops knees on Hogan before slapping on the Million Dollar Dream. That eventually gets two arm drops and Jake makes the save. That’s actually a nice touch as it makes the hold look stronger by needing a save instead of Hogan saving himself. Hogan finally breaks the hold and punches a jumping DiBiase. Hot tag brings in the Snake who cleans house. Jake drives in knees on DiBiase’s head as Hogan is dying in the corner.

Here’s Virgil to interfere and take the DDT. DiBiase drops a fist on Jake and puts his feet on the ropes to steal the pin. Ted pounds on Hogan who is still reeling from the long Million Dollar Dream. I’ll give him credit as that’s some great selling of a hold like that. Off to a chinlock and Hogan taps, which wouldn’t mean a thing for years. Hogan breaks the hold but they clothesline each other. DiBiase belly to back suplexes him and it’s Hulk Up time. You know the rest and there’s the legdrop.

Rating: C. There’s one major problem with this match: the first four minutes of this match give away the ending almost immediately. How can you give Hogan, Roberts and Demolitio a man advantage that fast? I’m not saying Hogan should have lost, but the Zeus stuff could have come later in the match and worked much better. Have Zeus stand on the apron most of the match and it would have worked fine. The fans finally reacted though.

Savage and Zeus are ready for their tag team cage match on PPV two days after Christmas. More on that later.

Hogan and Brutus do the same. They’re facing Savage and Zeus in case that wasn’t clear. Sherri shows up and throws powder in their faces so that Savage and Zeus can jump them.

Jesse and Gorilla talk about the tag match and Jesse mentions that there’s trouble in the Heenan Family, which is code for Arn Anderson about to go back to the NWA and Tully got busted for cocaine.

The Rude Brood is ready for Roddy’s Rowdies. These promos are pretty much the same all around.

This one however isn’t. Roddy is talking to Gene when the Bushwhackers and Snuka come up and are all holding turkey legs. Roddy says after the match they can have lunch. Then they all scream about breaking big bones.

Rude Brood vs. Roddy’s Rowdies

Rick Rude, Fabulous Rougeau Brothers, Mr. Perfect

Roddy Piper, Bushwhackers, Jimmy Snuka

If nothing else we get to hear All American Boys, perhaps the best theme song in wrestling history. There’s no Heenan with Rude, which is part of the issues the Family is having. Luke and Perfect get things going but after a single slam it’s off to Butch who bites on Perfect’s thigh. Luke comes in and does the same and Snuka matches suit. Butch bites as well and it’s off to Snuka.

Jacques comes in as well and they stall a lot. Jacques poses a lot so Snuka headbutts him down and follows up with a big chop. A slam puts Jacques down and it’s a Superfly Splash for a quick elimination. Rude comes in next and swivels his hips, only to get headbutted into a tag from Perfect. Rude accidentally low bridges Perfect so Snuka rams them together and the Brood is in trouble.

Off to Piper vs. Perfect and the Brood’s luck continues to go bad. Luke comes in and drops a knee before it’s off to Snuka for more shots to the head. Back to Luke for more biting and Butch beats on him a bit more. Piper comes in to face Raymond and for some reason Rougeau tries to slug it out with Piper. A superkick puts Piper down for two but he piledrives Raymond for the easy pin and it’s 4-2.

Perfect comes in with his neck snap for two and for the first time, Piper’s team is in trouble. Piper comes back with a slingshot to send Perfect into the post. Butch comes in for some basic stuff but it’s quickly back to Luke. Piper comes back in for some rapid fire punches and Perfect is in trouble. Back to Butch for more biting but he poses too long and Perfect rolls him up for the elimination.

Piper tries to steal a pin on a rollup to Perfect but it only gets two. Off to Snuka before Luke headbutts Perfect in the stomach. Rude makes a blind tag but jumps into a punch to the gut. Luke ducks his head and the Rude Awakening ties us up at two each. It’s Piper/Snuka vs. Rude/Perfect which is a heck of a midcard tag match.

Rude vs. Snuka starts the final four off and Rude swivels a bit more. Perfect comes in and taunts Piper, drawing him in so Snuka can get double teamed. Snuka finally gets in a shot to break Perfect’s momentum but Rude gets the tag before Piper can come in. Snuka grabs a quick small package for two before taking Perfect down with a flying headbutt. They hit head to head and both guys go down, followed by a double tag.

We finally get Piper vs. Rude which is what this whole match is based on. Piper easily wins a slugout and backdrops Rude down. They fight to the floor and it’s a double countout, getting us down to Snuka vs. Perfect. Perfect hits a great looking dropkick to put Snuka on the floor which eventually gets two. Snuka gets in a chop in the corner and a cross body for two. The Perfectplex out of nowhere gives Perfect the win.

Rating: C-. They did the right thing by having the tag teams get knocked out quick because they didn’t mean anything in this at all. Other than that though there was nothing of note here. Piper and Rude were both counted out to make sure they stayed strong and Snuka didn’t mean anything at this point. Nothing to see here but it wasn’t bad or anything.

The Rude Brood celebrates and Rude says don’t worry about Heenan being gone.

The Ultimate Warriors are very fired (and likely coked) up. Warrior’s topic of the night: orga donor cards.

Ultimate Warriors vs. Heenan Family

Ultimate Warrior, Jim Neidhart, Rockers

Andre the Giant, Arn Anderson, Haku, Bobby Heenan

Andre can barely move and it’s sad to see. Neidhart and the Rockers start before anything happens and Jim is in trouble early. Here’s Warrior without any music (he’s IC Champion here) and a big clothesline puts Andre on the floor, which draws a countout because when the bell rang, Andre was the only Heenan Family member in the ring. We’ve already got the same problem the Hogan match had.

Warrior and Haku get things started for all intents and purposes but it’s quickly off to Anvil vs. Arn. Andre (in blue instead of black) yells incoherently at the Warrior as he leaves. It’s Haku vs. Anvil now with Haku in control. A superkick puts Neidhart down and eliminates him like it’s a squash match. Off to Shawn to make Haku miss him and now it’s off to Jannetty.

Haku tries a double clothesline but only hits Shawn. He picks up Marty but Shawn dropkicks Marty down onto Haku for a near fall. Off to Arn who tries a double suplex with Haku on Jannetty, but Shawn catches his partner in a nice move. Double superkicks put the wrestlers on the other team down and it’s off to Marty vs. Haku. Warrior gets a tag in a few seconds later and Haku immediately goes for the eyes.

Haku backs Warrior into the corner and Heenan points to Arn for the tag in a funny bit. Arn immediately gets taken down and Marty hooks an armbar. Anderson brings Marty to the corner and brings in Heenan for a single punch before it’s back to Haku. Arn knees Marty in the back and Haku superkicks him down so Heenan can drop a knee on Jannetty for the pin. You could loudly hear them calling spots on that sequence for some reason.

Warrior comes in so here’s Anderson again. There’s a bearhug by the Champ and Haku gets one as well. Off to Shawn who gets knocked to the floor with a few shots. Shawn moonsaults out of the corner over Arn and Anderson is in trouble. Warrior and Michaels both punch Anderson at the same time and Arn backs away from Warrior. A splash from Shawn gets two and it’s off to Haku.

That doesn’t last long at all as a cross body eliminates Haku to get us down to Warrior/Shawn vs. Heenan/Anderson. Heenan tries to get in some cheap shots on Shawn which draws in Warrior. Why? Was he that afraid for Shawn’s safety? Arn dumps Shawn to the floor and Heenan goes up….and then regains his sanity and climbs back down. Arn keeps asking for help from Heenan because he’s getting tired so it’s finally back to Bobby who runs at the first sign of trouble.

Shawn rams his head into the back of Arn’s head and both guys are down. They slug it out but Shawn walks into the spinebuster (called the Anderson Drop) for the elimination. Warrior fires off some shoulders but Arn ducks and sends him to the floor. Heenan goes up again but thinks better of it again. Off to Heenan but Warrior quickly Hulks up so we see some more Anderson. Warrior fights him off as well and whips Arn into Heenan to knock Bobby to the floor. The gorilla press and splash get us down to one on one. Warrior sneaks up on Heenan and what do you think happens here? A shoulder block and splash ends this.

Rating: C-. I think it was watching the whole show before this but this was another dull match. Warrior was never in any danger and I think everyone knew it. To be fair, this would have been better with Tully out there and you can’t fault the guys for that. Heenan being in there had to turn it into a comedy match and I can’t hold that against them. Still though, another dull match in a series of them tonight.

Warrior sprints up the aisle and clotheslines Heenan as he leaves to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. There are multiple problems associated with this show. First of all, nothing here is what you would call good. The matches are all ok at best and nothing beyond that. I guess the best match would be the opener, but even that was just ok. This was a really weak time in the company as they had Hogan but he had beaten everyone already so there’s nothing for him to do really.

However there’s a bigger problem with Survivor Series overall. In short, what’s the point of any of this stuff? No stories are advanced here, other than the first match there was no clean fall between the people the feuding people, and there’s nothing to build off here. Look at Hogan. If you have Hogan lose in that match with DiBiase putting him to sleep after that much of a beating, you have a new opponent for him.

Instead, we have Hogan standing tall again which is nothing new at all. That’s the problem with the first few shows other than the first one. Survivor Series went nowhere and the appeal died very quickly. That wouldn’t change until 1991 so 1990 was somehow even more boring to sit through.

Wait I’m not done.

So as I mentioned, there was another match talked about inside a cage between Hogan/Beefcake and Zeus/Savage. This was a dark match at a TV taping in I believe Nashville. It was released as a PPV special called No Holds Barred: The Movie and The Match. Let’s get to it.

Hulk Hogan/Brutus Beefcake vs. Zeus/Randy Savage

This is one of like three matches Zeus ever had. Both guys have to escape to win. Vince and Jesse are on commentary. Beefcake gets in first but Sherri slams the door on Hogan to keep him out of the cage. Savage chokes Hogan through the cage as Zeus destroys Beefcake. Sherri locks the cage as Hulk punches Savage through the bars. The crowd is on fire for this. Hogan comes in over the top and makes the save as it’s time for the big showdown with Zeus.

Hogan slams Zeus into the cage a few times and down goes the monster. Savage gets whipped HARD into the cage by Brutus and both heels eat Hogan boots in the corner. Zeus gets double teamed but he sends both Hogan and Beefcake into the cage to take over. Savage tries to climb out but Beefcake stops him. Sherri tries to help Savage but Beefcake rams their heads together to keep Savage in the match.

Savage and Zeus ram both guys into the cage over and over which is a very basic yet very smart strategy for a match like this. Beefcake comes back and rams Zeus and Savage into the cage and all four guys are down. The referee unlocks the door to see what he should do, but Sherri rams the cage onto Hebner’s head and slides Savage the cage.

We load up the big spot of the match as Savage climbs the cage. Vince is freaking out. Jesse: “Well who’s going to stop it McMahon? You can’t do nothing about it.” Savage goes up to the top of the cage and wraps the chain around his hand. He dives at Beefcake but Brutus hits him in the ribs on the way down.

Beefcake gets the chain and pounds on Savage as Hogan can’t slam Zeus. Savage and Beefcake climb at the same time and it’s Hulk Up time. Beefcake gets over the top as Savage goes through the door and it’s one on one. Hogan slams Zeus, rams him into the cage about four times, slams him again, drops an insane THREE LEGS and Zeus is DEAD. The pin is academic.

Rating: B. That’s likely high, but this was absolutely perfect for what it was supposed to be. This was a TV taping main event and the fans got to see Hogan DESTROY his biggest rival at the time. The match was a ton of fun with Hogan in his late 80s goodness. Hogan vs. Zeus was actually going to be the Mania 6 main event for awhile until Vince woke up and put Warrior in there instead.

Ratings Comparison:

Dream Team vs. Enforcers

Original: B-

Redo: C+

King’s Court vs. 4x4s

Original: B+

Redo: D+

Hulkamaniacs vs. Million Dollar Team

Original: D-

Redo: C

Rude Brood vs. Roddy’s Rowdies

Original: D

Redo: C-

Ultimate Warriors vs. Heenan Family

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Overall Rating

Original: D+

Redo: D

Bonus Match

Original: B-

Redo: B

I think the difference here is that with the original I didn’t like it at all but with the new one I got bored by it because it just keeps going and going.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/08/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-1989-includes-a-bonus-review/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00NPPH0WI

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Nitro #189
Date: May 24, 1999
Location: BI-LO Center, Greenville, South Carolina
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

The big story tonight is the return of Hulk Hogan, which somehow sounds like a breath of fresh air. Randy Savage has been pushed as a killing machine because he wants the title, but he’s gone back and forth on being good or evil in the last few weeks. He helped the heel Page keep the title for reasons that aren’t clear, then he feuded with Flair as a face, and then just started going after Nash without ever having a big evil moment. Either way he’s dragging the company through the floor, but to be fair almost everyone else is too. Let’s get to it.

We open with an In Memory Of graphic for Owen Hart and a three bell salute.

We recap the Steiners becoming the super evil brothers and squaring off with Sting and Luger last week.

Recap of the main points of last week’s show and Thunder with Savage beating up five guys on his own.

Bigelow is yelling at Raven and Saturn and reminds them about getting a partner. DDP runs up with a 2×4 and the champions get beaten down. Old guys over young guys again.

Nitro Girls.

Tony says his thoughts and prayers are with the Hart Family.

Van Hammer vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Both guys are already in the ring so I don’t see this lasting long. Hammer is now just a basic big man and looks a bit like a biker. He throws Chavo around to start hammers away in the corner. A big boot drops Chavo but he comes back with a dropkick and drop toehold. That earns Chavo a press slam but he slips down the back into a sunset flip for two. A suplex and legdrop get the same for Hammer but Chavo escapes the cobra clutch slam. Chavo tries a Thesz press and gets caught in a bearhug, followed by the Flashback (Alabama Slam) for the pin. Total squash.

Video on Randy Savage.

DJ Ran.

Gene brings out a banged up Disco Inferno who is wearing sunglasses to cover up a black eye. He didn’t care for Savage’s “traveling show of pimps and ho’s” attacking him on Thursday and says he can get Savage in touch with Nash. Savage has been going after the young talent in the company and thinks it’s because Randy is afraid of them.

This brings out Ernest Miller of all people to dance and tell Disco to be a man. Disco wants Cat out of his face (would he prefer DJ Ran all up in his area?) and the fight is on. Nick Patrick comes out but is quickly knocked to the floor so I don’t think this is a match. Miller goes after the eye with a show and other referees come down to get Disco out. We cut to the Black and White locker room for the “Miller is talking about you” bit with Norton, because that’s still a thing. Norton chases Miller off.

Mike Tenay goes into Flair’s office.

Video on Nash.

Flair and Anderson are with El Dandy and offer to elevate his status for a loss to David tonight. Buddy Lee Parker comes in and asks for the office and secretary he was promised. Instead he’s given a Gold’s Gym membership and an offer to fight Benoit tonight. Parker takes it and says he won’t lay down again.

Gene brings out Mike Tenay who has an update on the Randy Savage situation: he’s getting the World Title shot at Great American Bash. Ric Flair storms out and talks to a woman in the audience, saying her mom rode Space Mountain twenty years ago and maybe she’ll get to tonight. As for business, Savage has injured Charles Robinson and Flair is thinking about banning the top rope elbow as punishment. He’s the ONLY man in WCW with power so Bischoff and Piper can tell their stories walking. Now it’s time to make some future stars. Flair loses his voice while saying this, maybe realizing how bogus what he’s saying is.

El Dandy vs. David Flair

During the entrances, Tony announces that the Tonight Show match has been canceled, meaning Nash may be here tonight. Dandy gets taken down by a shoulder and clothesline as David can barely even run the ropes properly. He avoids a dropkick though and backdrops Dandy with ease. A nice looking suplex gets two but Dandy smacks him in the face. Anderson sneaks in for a spinebuster, setting up the Figure Four for the win. Again, it really doesn’t look like the guys are throwing the matches, making this story a bit confusing.

Gene brings out Buff Bagwell who agrees that Savage is scared of the younger guys. Savage can come after him anytime, but tonight it’s about getting the TV Title. I could get behind a young vs. old story.

Here’s a five minute package on Eric Bischoff’s rise to power in WCW and joining the NWO. We’re nearly halfway through this show and have seen two matches but we have time for a guy who presumably has no power.

Battle Royal

Ciclope, Kaz Hayashi, Prince Iaukea, Johnny Swinger, Juventud Guerrera, Villano V, Damien, Kidman, Psychosis, Lash Leroux, Blitzkreig, Evan Karagias

The winner gets a shot at Rey next week. Juvy falls down on the way to the ring. I guess he tried to watch the show and started falling asleep. It’s a huge brawl to start with everyone sending everyone else to the ropes for attempted eliminations. Damien slams Blitzkrieg and Villano gets knocked down by something the camera misses. Iaukea works on Kidman near the ropes as Leroux is almost put on by Psychosis.

Ciclope gets taken down but not out by a top rope hurricanrana. Blitzkrieg takes Leroux out with a hurricanrana of his own but falls outside for a double elimination. Good timing too as the ring was too full. They keep slugging it out on the floor as Kidman clotheslines Iaukea out. Since this is WCW though, here’s Hugh Morrus to come in and destroy everyone in sight. Everyone jumps on him but he’s able to throw out Damien, Swinger, Psychosis, Ciclope, Kaz and Evan.

That leaves Juvy and Kidman in the ring, because Heaven forbid anyone other than those two get pushed against Mysterio. Kidman goes after Morrus as Juvy bails, but for once Morrus is able to powerbomb Kidman in half. No Laughing Matter cruses him again and Morrus goes up for a second, but Rey runs out and dropkicks Morrus to the floor. There’s no bell, but since Kidman is the only guy left in I’m assuming he wins. Either that or WCW just managed to have a battle royal end in a no contest.

Rating: F. For failure because there’s no other word to describe it. The cruiserweight division is a disaster right now as no one but Juvy, Rey and Kidman are consistently pushed and now Hugh Morrus, a jobber to the stars, beats up about six guys with ease before another runs away from him? On top of that, we’re now heading towards Kidman vs. Mysterio AGAIN? Assuming Rey even has a challenger that is. What a mess.

Here’s Piper to really get things going. We get some standard cheap heat with mentions of the local baseball team and Piper saying he’s had about fifty fights in this town and two or three of them were in the ring. Piper doesn’t care for Bischoff’s apologies but his real issue is with Randy Savage. Well of course it is. He lays down on the mat and calls out Savage but gets the girls instead.

Piper asks Miss Madness how she won the title before asking George where Savage is. She says he’s being honored and Piper makes Slim Jim jokes. He yells at all of them until Flair comes out for a save, earning him a beating. This brings out Page and Bigelow to lay out Piper for some reason. Page says Flair owes him, so Flair gives him a Tag Team Title shot at Great American Bash. Ric also makes another match between him and Piper for the show because….oh you know the drill by now.

Benoit and Malenko are in the back watching what just happened. Dean wants to know where their title shot is and thinks you have to be over 45 to get a push around here. Dean Malenko: wrestling’s smartest man. Benoit thinks Flair is for Flair and Dean says every man is for himself. That might do it for the Horsemen.

Video on Luger and Sting’s history together, going back a long way.

Piper is getting his ribs taped up and says he wants Flair/Page/Bigelow vs. himself and two partners. Gee I wonder who they’ll be.

Tony says WCW is partnering with Tommy Boy Records to merge wrestling and music. They’re about fifteen years too late but that’s WCW for you.

Curt Hennig comes out and tells Tony to turn him on. His headset you see. Curt doesn’t like rap music but did like beating up Konnan recently.

Video on a Tommy Boy Records wrestling themed party.

Chris Benoit vs. Buddy Lee Parker

Hennig is still on commentary and talks about how young guys like Benoit aren’t respecting the veterans that came before them. A black arm band can be seen on Chris’ arm for Owen. Parker actually gets in a few shots in the corner to start and I don’t see him getting in much more offense.

As you would expect, he charges into a boot in the corner and gets caught in the Rolling Germans. Benoit chops the fire out of him in the corner before hitting a quick belly to back suplex. Parker comes back with a powerslam, only to get drop toeholded into the middle turnbuckle. The Swan Dive sets up the Crossface and Parker taps very quickly.

Rating: D+. It’s always fun to see Benoit run someone over like this. Parker was older than dirt at this point and had been getting beaten up for years now. That’s probably why he was such a jerk down in the Power Plant. The match was just there for Benoit to show how awesome he was, because somehow that wasn’t an established fact to the WCW brass at this point.

TV Title: Rick Steiner vs. Buff Bagwell

Before the match we get a chat from the Steiners. Scott rips on WCW, saying they suck with Heenan saying “good point.” After bragging about the Red and Black, we get a perfect Scott line as he calls himself the US Champion and Rick the United States Television Champion. Bagwell charges the rings and hammers away at both Steiners, actually knocking Scott out to the floor. A quick dropkick puts Rick down but he starts going after Buff’s neck to take over. He ties Buff in the Tree of Woe so Scott can choke away from the floor.

Bagwell comes right back with a neckbreaker of his own, only to have Scott trip him from the floor. Scott gets in a few shots and Rick knocks Bagwell out to the floor with a Steiner Line. The brothers pull the mats back and Rick actually piledrives Buff on the floor. Things are about to get even worse with Scott holding Buff’s neck across the barricade as Rick goes up top…..and we’ve got a Sting monster truck in the aisle. Lex Luger, in a Sting mask for some reason, is driving. We cut back to the ring and Sting is there with his bat as we go to a break.

Rating: D. ANOTHER match ends in a DQ or a no contest because Heaven forbid anyone have to job around here. At least the stuff with Rick was short, though I’m still waiting on Goldberg to come back and fight the Steiners for what happened to him at Slamboree. Instead we’re getting Sting and Luger teaming up until Luger turns heel again and starts yet another feud between them.

Hennig is still on commentary and ripping on rap, so here’s Konnan to start a fight. They brawl into the ring with Konnan beating the tar out of Curt.

Mike Tenay is in the ring and calls out Jimmy Hart and Curt Hennig. Jimmy wants Mysterio out here right now to explain what happened earlier. Morrus complains about the same guys having the same matches for four years now and he wanted to mix it up a bit. Again, they need to stop saying things that the critics are saying. Rey starts brawling with Morrus and uses his usual springboard based offense until Jimmy trips him up. Hugh crushes him in the corner and plants him with a huge powerbomb. They get a chair but Konnan and Kidman come in for the save.

Here’s Hollywood Hogan for his big return from knee surgery. He’s still in a big knee brace and on crutches but is being all heelish anyway. Hogan praises Nash because they’re both part of the Pack and says he’s coming for Page. We get a reference to Raw, called the XXX Wrestling on the other channel. Hogan is the master of politics and has seen the people talking in the back, so he’ll return soon brother.

Nash comes out for a chat because Heaven forbid we get another match. After sucking up to the crowd ala Piper, he gets to the point of Savage running around like a crazy man after the World Title. Nash isn’t hard to find: he’ll be the guy with the big gold belt for a long time to come. This brings out the girls again with George’s leg hurt again. Why she’s wearing high heels while on crutches isn’t clear but at least she looks good.

Nash talks to George, saying he’s seen her wrestle but he’s rather see her box. The girls go after him and break a crutch over Nash’s back but it doesn’t seem to have much effect. Savage coming out and nailing him with the belt does have an effect though. We get the lipstick on the face thing again which is still kind of stupid.

Roddy Piper/???/??? vs. Ric Flair/Diamond Dallas Page/Bam Bam Bigelow

After a break, Malenko (in street clothes) and Benoit come out be Piper’s partners. Piper has his ribs taped up from the attack earlier and thankfully is sporting a black armband of his own. Unless I missed it, that’s the second of the entire show. Page and Malenko get things going but Dean wants Flair instead. Once Flair is in, Benoit wants to fight instead. They take turns chopping each other’s chests off until Benoit backdrops him down.

Benoit cleans house and clotheslines Bigelow out to the floor as everything breaks down. Flair finally gets back in and backs into his own corner, which Heenan calls a bad neighborhood. A thumb to the eye and chop put Benoit down and the Jersey boys come in to take over. Bigelow headbutts him down for two before Flair comes in for a low blow. Page has to break up a backslide but Bigelow misses the top rope headbutt. The hot tag brings in Piper and here are Raven and Saturn to go after the Jersey guys for the DQ.

Rating: D. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS GOOD AND HOLY STOP WITH THE FREAKING DQ ENDINGS! You can’t get a clean ending to any main event match around here and I’m getting sick of it. Also, why in the world did we need Piper out there? To give former World Tag Team Champions credibility? Heaven forbid Piper isn’t around every two seconds to make things feel big.

It’s a huge brawl post match with the good guys getting the better of it. Piper puts Flair in the Figure Four as Benoit stomps on him. Ric bails and we cut to the back where Hogan is standing over a fallen Page to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. Oh sweet goodness this got old in a hurry. There were FIVE matches in three hours. Think about that for a minute. Nothing broke ten minutes and they can only give us five matches, one being a battle royal that ended in a no contest? Obviously there were major outside circumstances to it, but the ratings results for this night: Nitro’s 3.1 losing to WWF’s 7.2. Nitro hadn’t been that low for a regular show in over two years and Raw only topped that once in the entirety of the Monday Night Wars. This was a disaster for Nitro and a sign that things had to change.

Luckily for them, there actually was a glimmer of hope here. This idea of old vs. new, albeit the same thing they did with WCW vs. the NWO three years ago, has something to it as you can see the battle lines being drawn. Unfortunately some of those lines are just Piper’s wrinkles BECAUSE HE WON’T JUST GO AWAY, but there’s something there. Granted I have have no confidence in WCW because the old guys won’t lose once in awhile but it’s better than nothing.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00NPPH0WI

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Today is a personal favorite: Hillbilly Jim.

After wrestling for years in Memphis, Jim was brought into the WWF as his most famous character. His introduction story saw him as a fan who wanted to wrestle and had a choice between Hulk Hogan and Roddy Piper to train him. He chose Hogan, cementing his status as a hero. We’ll start things up with one of his first matches in December 1984.

Terry Gibbs vs. Hillbilly Jim

Our first match starts in progress almost 12 minutes into the tape. Hogan is at ringside with him. Jim uses very basic stuff like stand there and let the smaller guy run into you. Basic offense from Gibbs who is a career jobber. Jim slams him and the bear hug ends it in less than two minutes. Yeah it’s one of those tapes.

His first major match was at the War to Settle the Score.

Hillbilly Jim vs. Rene Goulet

BIG pop for Jim. Andy Warhol is here as is Danny DeVito. Since this was shown later on the syndicated show, those cameos are awesome. Jim is wearing Hogan’s boots. Good thing they were the same size. Jim chases him away to start as we’re into stalling mode. Long headlock by Goulet which gets him nowhere. Jim does that chest out pose of his which is always fun. He’s a character that always would work because he wasn’t ever treated seriously. He would probably get over today if he was treated the same. Big old headlock by Jim as Goulet has nothing but that’s his job as a jobber.

Basically this is a long squash as Goulet can’t do much at all but gets in jobber offense to take some control. He bites Jim which just ticks the big old boy off. Very basic offense with the biggest move being a headbutt sets up the bearhug for the easy submission. Post match Goulet goes after some fan at ringside. That fan’s name: Mr. T. Guess how that goes for the jobber.

Rating: D. Like I said this was a very long squash at nearly eight minutes. The fans loved Jim though as he was just big and fun. What more can you ask of him than that really? The match was bad but the fans were way into it and that’s all that matters at the end of the day.

One of his first big feuds was with Jesse Ventura, including this match on Saturday Night’s Main Event IV.

Jesse Ventura/Roddy Piper/Bob Orton vs. Cousin Luke/Uncle Elmer/Hillbilly Jim

Jim is the most talented of the face hillbilly team. What does that tell you? Piper and Orton say funny things about the hillbillies. He was a total master on the mic in this era. The hillbillies say generic hillbilly stuff. The mat is dark gray and the ropes are mixed up, as in they go blue, red then white. It’s weirder than it sounds. Also, the ring looks TINY. Uncle Elmer and Ventura start. Elmer is REALLY fat.

Wow it’s odd hearing Heenan from this era. It really is. He’s a totally different commentator. He’s still his usual jerky self, but his voice sounds different to put it mildly. Luke…sucks. That’s all there is to it. I mean he sucks HARD. Naturally he gets beaten down for the majority of the match. Piper was still moving in the ring at this time and was far better at wrestling than he was given credit for.

Jesse’s wrestling was underrated. He knew how to sell and could work a crowd really well. Luke gets his head handed to him for a good while. We get the classic ref doesn’t see the tag spot which is one of the easiest ways in the world to get heat on someone. Piper beats up Uncle Elmer, who is like 6’7 and close to 500lbs on his own. It’s rather amusing. We get a melee and after a cast shot to Luke, Piper puts him to sleep to end a glorified squash.

Rating: D. Weak stuff here but like I said, I’d expect a lot of that. There was heat from the crowd, but when the third best in ring guy is Hillbilly Jim, it’s a bad sign. This just didn’t work and felt weak. Thankfully this ended the story between these guys as it really didn’t work all that well.

Time to team with Hulk on April 22, 1986.

Hillbilly Jim/Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy/Big John Studd

Studd and Jim to start. Is Hogan the smallest guy in this? Jim is recently back from a leg injury. This would be just after Mania 2 if the dates I can find are correct. Studd is still doing the $15,000 slam thing. Studd slams him instead and says he wants Hulk. Hogan is in white here which is odd indeed. Here’s Hogan and he gets his ass kicked with relative ease. This clearly should have been the Big John Studd set.

Hogan fights back and slams Studd and then Bundy with relative ease. Something tells me he won’t get his money. Everything breaks down and the good guys clean house with Hogan drilling Heenan. Hayes says Hogan is the first man to slam Studd. I give up. Things settle down and it’s Hogan vs. Studd. Off to Bundy who has some better success.

Ladd wants to talk about football and is completely ignored in a funny bit. Studd and Bundy work Hogan over and it’s a bearhug by Studd. Off to Bundy who is immovable apparently. If so, how is he moving? An elbow misses and it’s off to Jim again. He crushes Jim and we’re right where we were a minute ago but with more denim and Deliverance references this time

Gorilla says Hogan should come in to break up the chinlock but Al says Hogan won’t break the rules. And people make Superman jokes about Cena? Off to a bearhug by Studd to Jim which is relatively easily broken. Hot tag to Hogan, house is cleaned, a leg is dropped, but it’s broken up by Bundy and everything is thrown out for a big double DQ.

Rating: D+. Eh this was ok I guess but it’s the same thing you would see at any given house show in this era. That being said, the fans ate it up which is exactly the right idea since this was likely the main event. Nothing terrible, but nothing we haven’t seen a million times. Granted it was a simpler time.

Time for comedy, starting on November 24, 1986.

Don Muraco vs. Hillbilly Jim

Muraco is dressed like Piper and Fuji is with him in a tux. Remember that. Muraco is wrestling in the kilt. Jim rips it off quickly and the beating begins. Muraco is sent to the floor and Fuji’s hat got crushed. Muraco hides in the corner and Jim works on the arm. A headbutt puts Don on the floor. Muraco takes him down and it’s off to a nerve hold. Jim comes back and hits a big boot. Bear hug (called a full nelson by Monsoon for some reason) draws in Fuji for the DQ.

Rating: D. Jim was a fun character and this was designed to set up the next match and that’s all. Muraco was definitely on the downside of his career at this point but he still had a few more years on the top level to go. Fuji interfering directly sets up the next match on the tape which is always cool to see.

Fuji tears Jim’s overalls and hits him in the ribs with the cane a bunch of times. Jim challenges Fuji to a tuxedo match next month.

Hillbilly Jim vs. Mr. Fuji

This is a tuxedo match. It’s an evening gown match but for men. Jim rips the hat off immediately. I wouldn’t bet on this lasting long. They fight over tearing jackets off and Jim gets his shirt ripped. Jim tears out the pocket of Fuji’s jacket as does Fuji to Jim’s. Fuji steals the jacket and Jim is mad. Fuji’s jacket gets ripped so he kicks Jim low. Jim is topless now and as I type that Fuji is as well. And there go Fuji’s pants to end it. I’m not rating it because it’s not really much of a match but it was all in good fun.

Off to Toronto on March 15, 1987.

Hillbilly Jim vs. Dino Bravo

Both guys aren’t anything special but Jim was Hogan’s buddy so he’s of course over as all hell. I wouldn’t go messing with a country boy. He had been around about a year and a half at this point and his biggest feuds were behind him. That sums things up rather well for him. Oh and Bravo has brown hair and is wearing the same tights that Spivey was wearing earlier. Hart mentions his accomplishments in music including the tour with the Beach Boys. He really was a huge asset to Vince.

We’re almost four minutes in and I don’t think anything past a headlock has happened. Ah here we go as Bravo is actually doing some stuff. It’s boring as hell but he’s doing something at least. And there goes the referee. That’s good enough for the DQ. Scratch that. It’s bad enough for the DQ. Nothing good about this match.

Rating: F. Again, this is pure filler and it was bad filler at that. I want this show to end like NOW.

Here’s Jim’s most famous match at Wrestlemania III.

Hillbilly Jim/Little Beaver/Haiti Kid vs. King Kong Bundy/Lord Littlebrook/Little Tokyo

Beaver would be 52 and Littlebrook would be 58 at this point. Uecker jumps in on commentary. Haiti and Tokyo start before we get a four way crisscross. The good small guys hook a stupid looking hold called the rowboat on their evil counterparts and the crowd doesn’t seem interested. Off to Beaver as Uecker seems really happy to be here. Jesse wants to see Bundy crush one of these guys because that’s the kind of guy he is.

Littlebrook vs. Beaver at the moment but it’s quickly off to Bundy. Beaver and Haiti annoy him a bit until it’s off to Hillbilly for a nice ovation. Bundy gets dropped by a clothesline and an elbow drop allows Jim and company to pile on for a two. Jim gets caught in a front facelock but Beaver comes in and blasts Bundy in the face to get on his nerves again. Bundy finally grabs Beaver and crushes him with a slam and an elbow drop, drawing a DQ.

Rating: D+. This is another of those matches where you have to consider what they were going for. You’ve got two giants and four midgets out there with Hillbilly Jim picking up a 52 year old man so he can pull on Jim’s beard. How tough can I be on a match like this? Unfortunately Beaver’s back was hurt by Bundy in this and he had to retire.

Off to Philadelphia on December 5, 1987.

Hillbilly Jim vs. Dino Bravo

Frenchy Martin is Bravo’s new manager here. The fans actually tolerate Hillbilly at first before the boring chants start a minute or so in. Bravo hammers away but gets caught by a big boot and a headbutt to send him to the floor. Stalling results in a request for a test of strength. Hillbilly’s limited offense works away but he walks into a bad atomic drop to change the momentum again.

Bravo isn’t exactly a master of the repertoire either so this isn’t much of a match at the moment. Off to a chinlock as this power vs. power game continues. Crowd is dead as can be here. Bravo hammers away with his great variety of stomps. There’s Bravo’s side suplex which is usually his finisher but an elbow drop misses. Jim comes back and uses even more basic stuff, but goes after Frenchy. A knee to the back from Bravo ends it.

Rating: D-. Terrible match here so of course it got about 10 minutes. Who thought that was a good idea? They should be made to watch this match over and over again. Jim was a guy that was good for kids. Who thought he was a good idea to put in a match in PHILADELPHIA??? Terrible match and incredibly boring.

Time for the required Survivor Series match in 1988.

Team Mega Powers vs. Team Twin Towers

Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, Koko B. Ware, Hillbilly Jim, Hercules

Big Bossman, Akeem, Ted DiBiase, Red Rooster, Haku

Savage is world champion and this is based on a tag team feud which would be blown off in a huge live match on February 3. Hogan comes out to his own theme music after his partners all used Savage’s. This is actually a plot point as the Mega Powers would explode because Savage thought Hogan was taking his spotlight. It’s a Wrestlemania rematch with Savage vs. DiBiase to start things off.

They knock each other down with DiBaise taking over in the corner. The champ comes back with right hands and a clothesline. Off to Hercules who is feuding with DiBiase as Ted had called Hercules a slave, prompting a face turn. Instead Herc gets the Red Rooster who doesn’t do well at all, which is the idea. Heenan said he could take anyone, even Rooster, to the top. Off to Koko who gets in a shot to Ware and it’s off to Akeem (One Man Gang).

Haku comes in with a chop but misses a legdrop and it’s back to Herc. I’m not sure why when you have Hogan and Savage on the apron but whatever. Now it’s off to Hogan and the place erupts. He takes Haku down and drops some elbows before bringing Hillbilly in for a quick main event opportunity. Akeem comes in and runs Jim over before bringing Rooster in. Even Gorilla found that stupid. Jim doesn’t do much to Rooster so here’s Koko instead.

Rooster rams Koko’s head into the buckle, but see, Koko is black so it doesn’t hurt. A missile dropkick gets two on Red and it’s off to Hogan. The big boot sets up Savage’s elbow and it’s 5-4. Hogan’s team has a massive in ring celebration while Bossman’s team hits the floor. Heenan rips into Rooster as we get Savage vs. Haku. Haku chokes on the ropes but Hogan makes a blind tag and, brace yourselves, actually loses a slugout!

Haku hits a nice dropkick but gets slammed down and it’s off to Herc. A suplex puts Hercules down and it’s off to Akeem. A splash misses and it’s off to Hillbilly who fires away with all he’s got. Jim’s big boot doesn’t take Akeem down and a clothesline floors Jim. The 747 (big splash) gets the pin and we’re tied up. Koko comes in and dropkicks Akeem in the back before wisely bringing in Hogan to do the heavy lifting.

Back to the world champ with a double ax to the head but they can’t knock Akeem down. Hercules pounds away a bit as does Koko with a dropkick only sending Akeem into the corner. Akeem shrugs it off and hits Koko once to take over. Off to Boss Man who hits his namesake slam to make it 4-3. It’s Hogan in now and this is the match everyone has been wanting to see.

Hogan pounds him into the corner and everyone left on Hogan’s team (Hogan, Savage, Hercules vs. Bossman, Akeem, DiBiase, Haku) gets in a shot. Hogan easily slams the then bigger Boss Man but he charges into a spinebuster. That looked really good too. Back to Akeem and the big men hit a double elbow to take Hulk down. Off to Haku who gets in some shots to the neck before tagging in Boss Man. I wonder why they’ve gone so long since having DiBiase in there.

Naturally as I say that he comes in and clotheslines Hogan down. A falling punch gets two but Hogan Hulks Up. Off to Hercules for some revenge and some hard clotheslines and punches. Virgil trips him up though and a school boy eliminates Hercules. It’s now 4-2 but Savage charges in and rolls up DiBiase to pin him within about ten seconds.

Haku comes in again but misses a headbutt, allowing Hogan to get the tag. Something like a superkick takes Hulk down and it’s back to Boss Man for some headbutts tot he back. Akeem comes in for his usual shots before it’s back to Haku again, who suplexes Hulk for two. It’s nerve hold time followed by the Boss Man Slam for no cover. Instead Boss Man goes up and misses a splash.

The hot tag brings in Savage who cleans house. Slick trips Randy up and things slow down again. Boss Man puts on a bearhug as Slick goes after Liz, grabbing her by the arm. Hulk makes the save and DRILLS Slick with a right hand. The Towers go to handcuff Hogan to the rope but Boss Man gets counted out in the process. Boss Man beats on Hogan with the nightstick and then goes to beat on Savage. Akeem helps with that, drawing a DQ for himself and getting us down to Hogan and Savage vs. Haku.

Hogan is still cuffed to the rope though so it’s basically a one on one match. Haku beats on Savage as the camera is on the Towers leaving. Slick has the keys and is taunting Hogan with them. Savage holds the rope and avoids a kick but there’s no Hogan to tag. Haku accidentally superkicks Slick and Liz raids his pocket to get the key. Hogan is freed and Haku hits a top rope splash for two. Hot tag to Hogan and since it’s 1988, you can fill in the ending for yourself.

Rating: C+. While not great, this was better than the previous match to be sure. This would be part of the Mega Powers Exploding, as Savage would be jealous of Hogan for getting the glory and not being there for him earlier in the match. It’s no classic or anything, but 80s Hogan is always fun.

Here’s a tag match from May 29, 1989.

Hillbilly Jim/Blue Blazer vs. Bad News Brown/Brooklyn Brawler

Those are quite the teams. Jim and the Blazer dance after the opening bell so we get a second bell for some reason. Blazer and Brawler get things going with Brawl actually taking Blazer (Owen Hart) to the mat. Back up and Blazer scores with a hiptoss and hammers away at the head. That’s not very heroic. Off to Jim who gets choked on the ropes but comes back with a bearhug to make Brawler squeal.

Brown comes in and hammers away with a headbutt putting Jim down. Back to Brawler for more choking but Jim cartwheels away from a backdrop attempt. A hot tag brings in Blazer, who is slammed down almost immediately. Brawler gets two off a backbreaker but walks into a quick belly to belly. Brown glares at his partner before tagging in and sidesteps a missile dropkick, setting up the Ghetto Blaster (enziguri) for the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a basic heroes vs. villains match with the villains actually getting the clean pin. Blazer wouldn’t do all that much around this time but was athletic enough to make his matches fun. Brown was a guy that would have been a huge star if he came around about ten years later.

Here’s one of Jim’s biggest matches ever at the Nassau Coliseum on June 10, 1989.

Andre the Giant vs. Hillbilly Jim

Jim lunges at Andre and scares him backwards, sending Andre into the ropes. He doesn’t follow up though and Andre chokes him down. Jim bails to the floor and gets his lucky horseshoe but it’s quickly taken away. The distraction works well enough that he can ax handle the Giant to his knees but a single chop freezes Jim in his tracks. A headbutt puts him down and it’s back to the choking. There’s a knee to the ribs for the same effect and we hit the bearhug. Jim whacks the ears to escape but the hold goes right back on.

The fans correctly describe this match as boring so Andre just crushes Jim in the corner. He drives in some shoulders but Hillbilly raises a knee. Haku comes out for support and gets in a few shots until Jim Duggan comes out for the save. Back in and Andre chokes a lot but Duggan nails him with the board. Hillbilly covers for two but Haku comes in for the DQ. I think he came in late actually as the kickout wasn’t shown and seemed late.

Rating: D. The fans were right that this was boring but again, why in the world would you put Hillbilly Jim at a show like this in New York? They actually might have lynched him if he had pinned Andre so the DQ was the smarter move. It’s not good or anything but these battles of the big men rarely are.

One more big match from SNME XXVI.

illbilly Jim vs. Earthquake

First of all, let it be known that Jim’s music is freaking amazing on all levels. Jim wasn’t much in the ring, but he wasn’t supposed to be. He was a gimmick character that worked as well as any ever has. Can you think of a single time that he didn’t get a pop and a half? He was just so ridiculously over because of nothing more than the clapping thing he would do.

Like I’ve said before, he found something that worked and he ran with it. I would almost guarantee that if he came back today as a guest host, he would get the roof blown off almost any arena in the country. The key thing to him was that he was never taken seriously. He wasn’t shoved down our throats as a major player ever and because of that we never got sick of him.

Look at Eugene. He was originally an awesome character that a lot of people marked out for. Then they put him in an 18 minute match with HHH at Summerslam, and to the shock of no one, he got booed out of the building. The point is, keep the comedy characters in the right place.

As for the match, it’s a 90 second squash as Hart distracts Hillbilly and Quake hits a corner splash and two earthquakes to end this. That’s how it should have been. As usual, Quake’s opponent is taken out on a stretcher. That more or less was his gimmick which was fine.

Rating: N/A. It’s far too short to grade, but it did its job so this would have been a positive rating.

We’ll wrap it up there as I think that describes Jim as well as anything else I could have said. Jim was the definition of a fun kids’ character and he was never supposed to be anything else. Putting him with Hogan at the beginning was the best way to get him over and he stayed the same kind of character for his entire run. I still like the guy and he’s about as innocent of a guy as you’ll ever find in wrestling.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Slamboree 1999
Date: May 9, 1999
Location: TWA Dome, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 20,516
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay

Things are going downhill in a hurry around here and the pay per views can be the biggest disasters they have. The main event here is Page vs. Nash for the title along with a Sting vs. Goldberg match that you had to pay attention to hear about. We also have Piper vs. Crazy Flair for control of the company, even though both have been fired in recent weeks. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is your basic look at the three main events with a bunch of circles coming out of the middle of the screen. The rest of the card gets a quick focus as well.

The announcers do their opening chat.

Gene runs down the card as well and plugs the Hotline.

Tag Team Titles: Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko vs. Saturn/Raven vs. Kidman/Rey Mysterio Jr.

Kidman and Mysterio are defending and this is one fall to a finish with three guys in the ring at once. You can only tag your own partner. Saturn and Kidman drop Malenko with a double clothesline to start before a dropkick puts Dean on the floor. Benoit comes in and gets dropkicked as well before Saturn nails Kidman with a dropkick. A huge belly to belly suplex sends Kidman flying out to the floor as the fans think the Horsemen suck.

Back in and Benoit grabs a German suplex on Kidman for two with Raven making a save. Rey comes in and throws Raven down before taking Chris down with a hurricanrana. Mysterio’s slingshot legdrop hits Benoit by mistake to give Raven two. Kidman and Benoit drop Raven across the top rope but the Canadian turns on his short term partner. This is really fast paced stuff so far.

Kidman misses a top rope splash on Benoit and gets caught in the Crossface until Raven makes a save. Raven hits a front suplex on Kidman so Saturn can nail a top rope splash but Dean makes a save of his own. Malenko throws Rey over his head but Mysterio lands on the top rope and moonsaults back onto Dean for two. Awesome spot. All six guys are in now but it’s quickly down to just Raven and Saturn.

The Horsemen come back in to clean house and double team Saturn. They do the same to the champions until we settle down to Benoit vs. Kidman vs. Saturn. Kidman runs Benoit over but Saturn crotches him on the top and runs him over, sending Kidman to the floor. Benoit runs Saturn over and knocks him out to the floor as well. Back and in and Benoit and Saturn collide to give Chris a two count. Benoit rolls some Germans but Kidman runs in for a last second save.

Saturn counters the Cloverleaf with a small package for two but Kidman makes another save. Dean spits at Rey to tick him off, allowing the Horsemen to run Kidman over. It’s back to the tagging again as the announcers are saying let the guys fight. A snap suplex gets two on Saturn and Benoit stomps away at Kidman. Dean comes back in and throws Kidman in the air, earning him a dropkick to the chest. Saturn tags Raven in for some rolling vertical suplexes on Benoit for two.

Kidman brings in Mysterio for some near falls and everything breaks down. A top rope clothesline drops Benoit and a springboard seated senton does the same to Saturn. There’s a Bronco Buster to Raven before the champs do the launched hurricanrana off the top to take down Benoit. They try it on Saturn but Mysterio gets planted with a super sitout powerbomb.

Kidman reverses a powerbomb from Saturn but Saturn calls for the Death Valley Driver. This brings in Anderson for the spinebuster to Saturn and Dean puts on the Cloverleaf. Someone in a Sting mask, DDP shirt and backwards hat comes in to shove Kidman into the Evenflow to give Raven the pin and the titles.

Rating: B+. This was a really hot opener and I can’t imagine how good it was going to be if they let the guys go nuts like Tony was asking for. Either way it got the crowd into things and was the right way to end this long running feud. Raven and Saturn are the only ones that haven’t had the belts yet, though they didn’t need Kanyon’s help to get them.

The masked man was Kanyon.

Video on Page.

Konnan vs. Stevie Ray

This is due to Ray attacking Konnan a few weeks back. Ray hammers Konnan down in the corner to start but Konnan comes back with right hands and a float around bulldog for two. Back up and Stevie nails a big boot to take over before sending Konnan out to the floor for a beating from the Black and White. Stevie hooks a chinlock back inside before a suplex gets two. Konnan fights up for the rolling clothesline and X-Factor but has to knock Vincent off the apron. Mysterio comes out to try for a save but has to fight off the Black and White. In the confusion, Rey nails a top rope seated senton on Stevie to give Konnan the rollup pin.

Rating: F. A six minute Stevie Ray vs. Konnan match had a referee distraction and three people interfering for a rollup finish. The match was boring and WAY too much chinlock before all of the interference. It doesn’t help that the story was barely there, making the match feel all the more pointless.

Video on Nash.

Rick Steiner says he has a lot to prove.

Video on Sting, mostly with clips from 1997.

Page and Bigelow are in the back and have a conversation we can’t hear.

King of Hardcore: Brian Knobs vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

I think the title is vacant coming in but you can’t really tell with this company. We get a bonus stipulation for the match: falls count anywhere. I guess that’s only standard in WWF hardcore rules. Neither guy has music. They start with the weapons early and Brian nails him with a waiter’s tray and cookie sheet. Bigelow botches raising his feet in the corner by kicking the trashcan when it’s down by Brian’s knees. Bam Bam puts him on his shoulder for something like a backwards suplex into a Diamond Cutter for two.

The top rope headbutt gets two for Bigelow as the announcers get in a stupid argument over talking when the weapons hit. Knobs misses a chair shot and falls out to the floor to really make it hardcore. Bigelow sends him into the steps and hits Brian with various metal weapons. He uses a pair of trashcan lids like cymbals around Knobs’ head and hits a LOUD cookie sheet to the head.

Both guys are already looking spent. Bigelow is sent into the weapons cart but Brian misses a charge into it as well. Brian gets a mop bucket put on his head and a punch makes things even worse. The fans want tables but get a chair to Knobs’ ribs instead. They fight over to the souvenir stand that is there for them to fight in. Off to backstage (complete with a shot of about 10,000-15,000 empty seats. Remember that this is a football stadium) and swing a ladder at each other. Knobs dives off a ledge onto Bigelow to drive him through a table. Naturally he jumps too far and just crashes because this match is a disaster. Bigelow suplexes him through the table for the win.

Rating: D-. Heenan’s line of “And they do this for a living” sums up the whole thing. The fact that these people make more money than I likely will in years makes me feel very very sad, though that might be due to the last twenty five minutes of whatever it was that I’ve had to sit through. Between Stevie’s lame chinlock and this mess, I need something good to cleanse the pallet.

We recap Rick Steiner vs. Booker T. THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT!!! They’re fighting because Booker is champion and Rick Steiner is employed for some reason.

TV Title: Booker T. vs. Rick Steiner

Booker is defending. They circle each other for a minute or so until Rick hammers him with right hands and a belly to belly suplex. Booker bails to the floor for a breather as the crowd is silent. Back in and Booker fires off some kicks with a spinning shot to the face putting Rick on the floor again. Steiner head back inside and gets elbowed in the jaw for two before the champ puts on a chinlock.

They head outside a third time with Rick sending him into the barricade over and over. A release German gets two for Steiner and he hammers away with right hands on the mat. Booker tries to fight back but gets elbowed into the corner to keep him in trouble. Back to the chinlock on the champion before a hard kick to the face drops Steiner again. The sidewalk slam sets up the missile dropkick but Scott Steiner runs out for a distraction. Rick gets two off a Steiner Line but Booker sends the brothers together. The side kick gets two and Booker is fired up, until Scott grabs his foot. The Steiner Bulldog gives Rick the title.

Rating: D. Can anyone explain to me why the Steiners are both champions in 1999? He’s had like two matches back and he gets to pin Booker T. on PPV? It’s getting really frustrating watching Booker have consistently good matches (when he doesn’t have a horrible opponent of course) and have to keep rebuilding himself up because WCW keeps wasting him.

We recap Gorgeous George vs. Charles Robinson. This is a side feud of Savage vs. Flair who are feuding for reasons not quite clear. Robinson is Little Naitch here and has been calling George a bimbo.

Rick looks for Scott in the back and warns Buff Bagwell to be careful tonight.

Charles Robinson vs. Gorgeous George

If George wins, Savage is reinstated. Robinson is doing a perfect Flair impression here, complete with the smirk and strut. The nurse is now named Asya (oh so funny) and Flair is at ringside here. Charles’ fingers are even taped up. Thankfully George isn’t dressed like Savage. Flair says he’s always wanted Madusa to ride Space Mountain and Miss Madness can come with her. George is being left to Little Naitch though and Charles says he’ll let George ride Space Mountain all night. Savage gets on the mic (pop of the night so far) and says George is going to destroy Robinson.

We get started and Charles is now in regular Flair gear. They stall for about a minute and Naitch avoids the lockup and WOOs. Well woos actually since he’s Little Naitch. Robinson gets in Savage’s face so George cranks on his arm. They trade wristlocks with George cranking on a hammerlock followed by a full nelson. She shoves the Nature Boys together and the big guys get in for a staredown.

Robinson and Miss Madness fight over a chair on the floor. Naitch shoves her down and slams her so Savage calls for a medic. The regular referee shoves Robinson down as the match kind of stops for a bit. Back in and Robinson chokes George on the ropes before being sent into the corner for a Flair Flip. He runs the apron and goes up, only to get slammed off the top. George nails a clothesline and the Flair Flop sets up a two count.

Asya trips George up and cranks on her knee but Kung Fu Madusa makes the save with a kick to the head. Robinson goes after the bad leg and NOW WE GO TO SCHOOL! He puts on the Figure Four but George turns it over. Flair sneaks in to save Robinson but Savage slams Robinson, setting up the top rope elbow from George (so much for the leg) for the pin.

Rating: C. Well they tried. That’s more important than anything else here and the match was WAY better than it could have been. This could have been a disaster and it wound up being a fun little match. Robinson nailed the impression and George looked great in her cheerleader outfit. Again, they tried and that’s what matters in something like this.

We recap Steiner vs. Bagwell, which stems from Steiner blaming Buff for losing the TV Title and Buff saying Steiner’s ego was out of control.

US Title: Buff Bagwell vs. Scott Steiner

Buff is challenging and jumps Steiner before he can get to the mic. A swinging neckbreaker drops Scott while he still has the belt on. Steiner drops Buff with a low blow and the muscle clothesline gets two. He plants Buff ribs first against the turnbuckle before tying him up in the Tree of Woe to crank on Bagwell’s neck. Scott chokes and swears a lot before planting Buff with a butterfly powerbomb for two. Total dominance so far.

There’s a belly to belly but Scott goes outside and grabs a chair. Buff clotheslines it into the champ’s face before making his comeback with a dropkick. There’s an atomic drop but Scott pulls the referee in front of a clothesline. Cue Rick Steiner to chair Buff into the Recliner to keep the title on Scott.

Rating: D. Erg this show is trying to drive me crazy. I have no idea why WCW thinks the Steiner Brothers being together (after never having a real match against each other) is a good idea, but this is what they’re going with to combat Austin and Rock vs. the Corporate Ministry. They deserve what they get.

Video on Goldberg.

Video on the two singles matches people might want to see. That would be Sting vs. Goldberg and Nash vs. Page if it’s not clear.

Video on Flair being the crazy president. I’m sure the fans must be loving this.

Roddy Piper vs. Ric Flair

For the Presidency. Charles Robinson comes out to be referee and Johnny Boone is fired for the heck of it. Piper slaps Flair down to start as Tenay tries to make sense of who has been fired. Tony: “Who knows?” Ric is knocked to the floor but Robinson won’t let Roddy go after him. Back in and they trade chops in the corner until Piper punches Flair down. They head outside with Piper throwing more chops against the barricade to keep control.

Back in again and a low blow puts Piper down. Robinson: “You got a stomach ache?” He yells at Piper for choking before turning his back so Anderson and Asya can get in some shots of their own. Another low blow drops Roddy but Flair takes forever to cover, allowing Piper to make his comeback. He can’t follow up after a backdrop though and Anderson chokes him on the ropes. Roddy fights back with chops to Ric’s chest and Flair flips over the corner and out to the floor.

That’s a bit too much work so they head back inside for a collision to fall on the mat. Flair is up first and starts going after the knee as this match just won’t end. A cannonball onto the leg sets up the Figure Four but Piper quickly turns it over. Ric sends him outside again but gets his trunks taken down on a sunset flip attempt.

The worst backslide in history gets no count as Robinson is with Anderson and a small pile of unfastened boxes (there’s no package to it at all) gets the same. Piper puts on the Figure Four and Flair shouts that he gives up but Anderson comes in for the save. Roddy slaps a sleeper on him but has to let it go to put it on Ric. Asya comes in for the save and gets kissed and put in the hold as well. Piper finally nails Robinson but gets hit with a foreign object as Robinson gets up just in time to count the pin.

Rating: F. This was on pay per view in 1999 so it’s a failure on principle alone. On top of that, the match was a disaster with the spots being totally blown and neither guy looking like he had the energy to last three minutes let alone the twelve this got (third longest match on the card). Horrible match, but we’re not done yet.

Eric Bischoff comes out for the first time in months and says he isn’t screwing this up. He declares Piper the winner for reasons that aren’t explained. Why he has the authority to do this (remember that he had his power stripped), why he’s suddenly good (not explained) and why he did this (ok to be fair there are about a million reasons to disqualify Flair. I’ll give him that one) aren’t explained. Piper immediately fires Flair and thanks Bischoff for what he did.

Very quick video on Goldberg vs. Sting in case you didn’t catch the other three of them.

Sting vs. Goldberg

The announcers spend the entrances trying to explain the Bischoff stuff. Feeling out process to start with Sting trying to escape a powerslam but falling out of the air. A powerslam puts Sting down again and Goldberg clotheslines him out to the floor. Back in and Sting ducks a superkick and hits a dropkick to stagger Goldberg. A clothesline puts Goldberg outside as well and it’s a stalemate.

Back in and Goldberg puts on a cross armbreaker but Sting makes the ropes. Sting goes after the knee and drops all of his weight down onto it a few times. There’s a Boston crab but Goldberg powers out of it and sends Sting out to the floor again. Back in and Sting grabs a headlock as this is still in low second gear.

The headlock goes about as well as you would expect and Goldberg hiptosses Sting over. A horrible looking swinging neckbreaker drops Sting for two but he jumps to the top for a clothesline. The Stinger Splash is countered into a spinebuster which the announcers call a spear. Cue Bret Hart to beat up the referee and whack Goldberg with a chair for the no contest.

Rating: D+. This was really dull as they were just filling time until they got to the stupid ending. Sting vs. Goldberg is a match that should have headlined Starrcade at some point but instead it’s used as a plot device to get Bret Hart back on television, because you know WCW is going to use him right after a year and a half of wasting him.

Bret destroys Goldberg’s knee for a bit and leaves. The Steiners come out to beat up Sting and Goldberg because they’re the top villains now I guess.

Yet another Nash vs. Page video because three weren’t enough.

WCW World Title: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Kevin Nash

Nash is challenging. Page tries a fast Diamond Cutter but gets shoved away, only to come back with rights and lefts. A big boot puts the champion on the floor before Nash brings him back inside for some slow right hands. Page fights out of the corner and keeps swinging away until Nash shoves him across the ring. A low blow stops Nash and Page uses the distraction to cut off a turnbuckle pad. That’s just a distraction to let Page hit Nash with the microphone for two.

Nash rolls to the middle of the ring and pulls Page face first into the exposed buckle. A very delayed cover gets two as both guys are still laying on the mat. They slug it out again and a clothesline puts Nash outside again. A Diamond Cutter on the floor lays Nash out, meaning we continue the lack of action. For reasons not quite clear, Page thinks this is falls count anywhere (he says that to the referee and is stunned when it’s not true). Back in and Page gets two with his feet on the ropes.

An elbow drop between Nash’s legs let Page pose even more. He goes to put on the Figure Four around the post but Nash kicks him into the barricade. Back in and Nash still can’t get up. The fans look at something in the crowd as Nash makes his comeback, complete with Snake Eyes onto the exposed buckle. There’s the Jackknife but Savage runs in for the DQ.

Wait scratch that as Bischoff still has some authority and says keep going. They’re just making this nonsense up as they go aren’t they? Tony says this is No DQ even though Bischoff never said that. Page hits a Russian legsweep and a clothesline for two before puttnig on a horrible looking sleeper. Nash reverses into a hold that looks like he’s trying to rip off Page’s ear. The champ grabs a jawbreaker for two and gets a chair. The chair hits the top rope and nails Page in the head for two. Back up and the big boot and Jackknife give Nash the title.

Rating: D-. Another boring match which fits the theme tonight. We still have no explanation as to why Savage and Page are associates now and I can’t imagine we ever will. This was supposed to be about Nash getting revenge for Hogan, but given that it hasn’t been mentioned in weeks, I’m assuming WCW has forgotten about it. Bad match here with neither guy feeling interested in working.

Overall Rating: D. I can’t say a show with an opener that hot is a failure. This period of WCW has the biggest problem a wrestling company can have: it’s really uninteresting. The matches aren’t very good for the most part, but that sort of thing can be fixed. The problem here is the main stories range from really stupid to something that completely falls apart if you think about it for more than five seconds. Things are about to get even worse though and the few good spots are getting rarer and rarer.

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Monday Nitro #185
Date: April 19, 1999
Location: O’Connell Center, Gainsville, Florida
Attendance: 8,567
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

We’re getting closer to Slamboree and the main event is set with Page defending against Nash. Other than that we have the further exploits of the NWO as things fall apart with Hogan nowhere in sight. Savage and Sting are still running around and feuding with Flair so it’s hard to say what’s coming tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with Goldberg arriving and carrying a briefcase. He says it’s him vs. Page for the title tonight.

Ricki Rachman and DJ Ran do their thing.

Nitro Girls.

Scott Armstrong/Steve Armstrong vs. Dean Malenko/Chris Benoit

This should be good. Benoit and Scott get things going and of course Charles Robinson is referee. They speed things up to start with Scott ducking a chop but getting taken down with a very crisp armdrag. A quick tag brings in Steve who cleans house and stomps away on Benoit. The Horsemen get Steve out to the floor though and the triple teaming is on. Back in and Malenko nails a low dropkick to the side of Steve’s head and the stomping continues.

Benoit takes his head off with a clothesline for two as a LOUD Goldberg chant starts up. Malenko comes back in and hammers away in the corner before Anderson helps with even more cheating. Robinson allows the Horsemen to change without a tag to Arn’s approval. Benoit finally charges into a boot but still won’t allow the tag off to Scott. Dean comes back in but walks into a double clothesline, finally setting up the hot tag. Scott comes in and everything breaks down. Dean jumps over Scott in the corner and powerbombs him down into the Cloverleaf for the submission.

Rating: C+. This was the best opening match they’ve had in a good while. The Armstrongs are guys that can wrestle with anyone so if you give them a pair of technicians like Malenko and Benoit it’s bound to be good. More importantly than that though, the brothers kept working the whole time they were getting squashed. It’s so annoying to see someone just laying on the mat instead of trying to get the tag or doing anything other than just laying around.

Georgia, the woman that gave Flair papers that he signed without looking at them on Thunder, gives them to Piper. Roddy looks very pleased.

Opening sequence.

Savage and Gorgeous George arrive but Doug Dillinger won’t let them in. Piper comes up and says he’s the Commissioner so they need to be let in. Dillinger reluctantly agrees.

Gene brings out DDP for a chat. Page starts by wishing Hogan the best with his knee surgery. The fans are already chanting for Goldberg. Page says Goldberg needs to get focused like he’s been. Both guys know what it’s like to grab the brass ring because Page is World Champion right now.

Page sees a lot of Goldberg in himself and there’s nothing he would like more than to put the title on the line tonight….but that’s not going to happen. This brings out Goldberg who gets right in Page’s face. Apparently Page agrees to put the title on the line tonight. Goldberg’s music hit and he was out of the ring in less than a minute. So why did Page say no in the first place if he would agree that fast?

Piper is in the back with David Flair and says Ric needs help. They talk about him being put under observation for 72 hours and David agrees before signing the papers Piper was given earlier.

Page comes up to Gene in the back and confirms the title is on the line. Gene isn’t done yet though and shows us the clip from Spring Stampede of Page injuring Hogan. We don’t actually see Page’s reaction to it or anything, but why would that be interesting?

Cruiserweight Title: Psychosis vs. Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Kidman vs. Blitzkrieg

Mysterio is defending and this is one fall to a finish. The fans really odn’t seem to like Psychosis or Blitzkrieg. We cut to the front row and see a man all in black with a mohawk hair cut and jewelery on his fingers that look like claws. Tony recognizes him as Alex Wright, which is very impressive detective work on his part as Wright looks completely different and is wearing big sunglasses.

It’s a big brawl to start with only Juvy and Psychosis left standing. Blitzkrieg avoids a charge to send Psychosis hard into the post. Juvy loads up a powerbomb on Psychosis for a springboard seated senton from Rey. Guerrera backdrops Mysterio out to the floor and holds up Blitzkrieg for a missile dropkick from Psychosis. Blitzkrieg escapes another powerbomb attempt and causes Juvy to accidentally hit a top rope Fameasser on Psychosis.

Rey is back in with a split legged moonsault to Juvy but Psychosis takes over and throw Guerrera into the air for a big crash. Blitzkrieg and Rey knock the other two to the floor before hitting a pair of Asai moonsaults. Back in and Blitzkrieg hits some standing flips onto Rey for two as Juvy and Psychosis are trying to get back in. Guerrera is back up first with a springboard missile dropkick to Blitzkrieg’s back, leaving him alone with Rey.

A quick hurricanrana puts Guerrera down and a slingshot splash gets two. Psychosis and Rey take turns breaking up pins by hitting each other in the face. Things settle down with Juvy bulldogging Rey for two before calling for the Juvy Driver. Instead it’s a kind of reverse DDT but Psychosis comes in with a top rope splash for two on the champion. Mysterio’s top rope bulldog puts Psychosis down and we have to take a break.

Back with Juvy hitting a huge dive onto Blitzkrieg and Psychosis. Rey goes outside as well but Psychosis pops up and dives onto all three of them. Back in and Rey powerbombs Juvy for two but Psychosis makes a save. Blitzkrieg busts out a very quick Figure Four to Psychosis, only to have Juvy make the save and drop a guillotine legdrop on Psychosis for two. Juvy powerbombs Blitzkrieg but Rey gets the cover for two. Mysterio hurricanranas Juvy off the top and Psychosis steals two of his own.

Blitzkrieg can’t get a jawbreaker on Juvy so Rey dropkicks Guerrera to the floor instead. Rey makes the mistake of posing instead of covering, allowing Juvy to try a powerbomb out of the corner. That’s fine with Rey as he hurricanranas Guerrera again. Juvy pops back up and snaps Mysterio across the top for two more. Psychosis clotheslines Juvy to the floor but Blitzkrieg kicks him in the face.

A slam sets up the Phoenix Splash for two on Psychosis but this time it’s Juvy making the save and Juvy Drivering Blitzkrieg for two. Rey comes back in and hurricanranas Guerrera out to the floor. Psychosis breaks up a Blitzkrieg superplex attempt and drops the guillotine legdrop for the pin and the title in a shocker.

Rating: B+. WHAT A MATCH! I don’t ever remember a cruiserweight match going this long (over twenty one minutes) and there is something going on for the entirety of the time. Usually there’s the period where things cool down but they never reached that point here. Psychosis winning is a big surprise and the match was very entertaining. Great stuff.

Gene brings out Flair for a chat. Ric, in a University of Florida shirt, seems very happy to be in Gainesville. He talks about students thinking they can out drink him and offers to buy each one of them a drink. Before he can get any further he’s interrupted by Roddy Piper. Ric wants to know why Piper always has to ruin his good time but Piper cuts him off and says Flair is becoming the Dennis Rodman of WCW.

He brings up Flair signing papers and offering to buy kids drinks. Somehow this makes him insane and unfit to be President of WCW. Piper is treating this like something serious instead of over the top like it should be. Flair starts dancing and throws his shoes into the crowd. Roddy brings up Flair handcuffing himself to the ropes to fight Bischoff from a few months back so Flair strips off his clothes to reveal Florida boxers.

Ric says his first crazy thing and says he’s President of the United States. Robinson brings out Flair’s robe as Piper has Gene read the papers. Basically they say Flair is nuts and that he’s out of office pending a review of his competence. Flair fires Piper and gives Florida the National Championship from Tennessee.

It’s time for more dancing so Piper says that the paper Flair signed last week made Flair vs. Nash (who went to the University of Tennessee in a nice touch) tonight. So he’s crazy but allowed to wrestle? Anderson faints in the corner for a few seconds but Flair makes himself vs. Piper for the Presidency at Slamboree and if Piper loses he’s fired.

This segment was a mess and really doesn’t make sense. The problem comes down to Flair not being insane until just now, and it’s a stretch even at this point. Anderson and Heenan made it clear that Flair taking off his clothes and spending a fortune is Flair being himself. That’s very true and we’ve seen him do exactly that for well over ten years.

Yeah Flair has been a bit out there with stuff like signing papers without looking, but going from that to having him committed in four days is a really big jump for this story. It makes the whole thing seem stupid and they could have gotten to the Piper vs. Flair match for control without it. The fact that this is setting up Roddy Piper vs. Ric Flair in a major match on PPV makes things even worse as you can almost hear the fans groan when Piper is mentioned anymore.

The Black and White tells Konnan they’re looking for Nash but Konnan says he has nothing to do with Nash anymore. This earns him a beatdown. Konnan was scheduled to fight for the US Title later in the night.

DJ Ran and Nitro Girls.

The announcers hype up the World Title match and they actually have a graphic for it. The shot of the belt on Page’s shoulder looks horrible as he’s not even touching it.

Brian Knobbs vs. Hardcore Hak

This is a garbage can match or something like that. Brian hammers Hak with a can as he comes in but Chastity slides in some extra weapons for them to use. We get a Pit Stop for old times’ sake and Hak is sent out to the floor. Hak sends him into the post and a cameraman goes down. It’s already table time but Knobbs nails him in the back with a chair.

Hak comes back with a ladder as you can barely see the mat at this point. There’s no wrestling in between these spots. Hak bulldogs him onto the ladder and sets up the table in the middle of the ring. He misses a Swanton though and mostly breaks the table to give Brian a two count. We get the Terry Funk spinning ladder spot to put Hak down but Chasitity takes Knobbs’ kendo stick away. Not that it matters as a pair of trashcan shots is enough to pin Hak.

Rating: D-. Remember the good tag match and the really good four way? This was nothing like those matches. As is usually the case with these things, the best part of it was it only ran about seven minutes. On the other hand, I could have spent those seven minutes doing something more constructive, like ripping my fingernails out with rusty pliers.

More DJ Ran because WCW doesn’t understand wrestling fans.

Nitro Girls.

Randy Savage has a present for Gorgeous George: Madusa, who is here to train her for Slamboree.

Nash comes in to see the Black and White and ask about what happened with Konnan. Stevie says they know what Nash has been doing and won’t be taking it anymore. Nash leaves, saying the team doesn’t want this. They’re going to send Norton to take care of Steiner tonight.

Buff Bagwell vs. Disco Inferno

Buff talks about how bad Scott Steiner thinks he is and rips off his catchphrases. Disco stomps him down in the corner to start but gets caught by a clothesline. Bagwell chokes Disco with his own shirt before working on a wristlock. A dropkick puts Inferno on the floor and Buff does his strut.

Disco comes back in and is quickly hiptossed right back to the floor. He tries to get back in again and actually shows some intelligence by snapping Buff’s throat across the top rope. Disco starts going after the neck as we stop to look at Alex Wright again. Bagwell avoids a middle rope elbow and makes his quick comeback, only to get crotched on the top. The Last Dance is countered and Buff tries (and fails) a running Blockbuster for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was another good win for Bagwell as they actually seem to be building up a young guy for a change. I can’t imagine it’s for anything more than feeding him to Steiner but it’s nice while it lasts. Bagwell really needs to stick with the middle rope version of the Blockbuster though as it looks about 8000% better.

Here’s Scott Steiner with a group of women because Godfather was a hot act around this time. After some catchphrases, Steiner gets right to it with talking down Bagwell and mentioning Buff’s history as a male stripper. He goes on about it for awhile and says the NWO made Bagwell. The fans chant steroids and there’s no Norton as promised by the Black and White. Not only are the boring and losers, but they can’t tell the truth about their sneak attacks announced on national TV. What is the world coming to?

Video on Gorgeous George vs. Charles Robinson.

Nitro Girls.

DJ Ran for the third or so time tonight.

Recap of the Flair/Piper stuff from earlier.

Kidman vs. Raven

Raven starts off aggressively but gets taken down by a headscissors. He pops back up and suddenly feels like trying a powerbomb. Kidman is lucky that his opponents always want to use that move even though they never do otherwise. After the faceplant, Raven sends Kidman out to the floor and throws in a chair. The drop toehold sends Kidman face first into the steel and Raven drops a leg onto the chair onto Kidman’s head for good measure. Kidman shoves Raven off the top but the Shooting Star hits the chair. The Horsemen come in for the DQ, even though Raven matches are supposed to be non-title.

Mysterio makes the save for his partner and the Horsemen run. Saturn decks Mysterio but gets sent down with a headscissors. Rey gets superkicked but Kidman powerbombs Saturn down. Raven Evenflows Kidman but the Horsemen run back in for the big beatdown.

More of Piper/Flair.

US Title: Scott Steiner vs. Scott Norton

So apparently the Black and White can just make US Title matches at their whim. Steiner is defending of course. After the champion finishes posing, the battle of clubbing forearms begin. Norton runs the champ down with some shoulders and a big clothesline sends him outside. More stalling ensues until Norton drags him back into the ring for some right hands in the corner. Steiner finally sends him to the floor and then into the barricade.

Back in and Steiner gets his required steroids chant. Steiner charges into a boot in the corner and Norton hammers away before getting two off a side slam. Norton loads up the shoulder breaker but the referee gets bumped. A low blow and belly to belly suplex retain Steiner’s title. Steiner’s feet on the ropes helped too.

Rating: D. I had a feeling this wasn’t going to be much of a power brawl. Norton was wrestling like a face here and it worked on a kind of weird level. Steiner’s mega push continues as his in ring ability continues to deteriorate every single week. Granted putting him in there with a one dimensional guy like Norton wasn’t the best idea.

DJ Ran AGAIN. We get it already.

Kevin Nash vs. Ric Flair

Before the match, Nash promises to get revenge on Page for Hogan. Naturally Robinson, with what looks like a Horsemen sticker on his shirt, is refereeing. Nash shoves Flair down before the bell and Flair is ready to go. Flair tries some shoulder blocks to as much success as you would expect. Back up and Nash knees him into the corner and nails the backdrop. Nash even mocks Flair slicking back his hair as Ric bails to the floor.

Naitch slows things down a bit so Nash busts out a headlock of all things. They trade shots in the corner and there’s another backdrop to Flair. A big shot in the corner gives us the Flair Flop and there’s the framed elbow. Anderson finally gets involved by tripping up Nash and helping Flair crotch him against the post. Back in and Anderson just gets in the ring to help Flair double team. We get the old “how much time” bit from Flair and Nash goes down to a low blow.

Flair hammers away in the corner while calling Nash Tennessee. Anderson interferes again but Nash comes back with a right hand and the side slam. Flair heads to the apron and gets clotheslined out to the floor. For some reason he tries to come back in off the top and you know what’s coming. Anderson tries to come in but gets kicked in the face for his efforts. There go the straps and Flair gets powerbombed, sending Robinson to the floor instead of counting. Gorgeous George comes out and takes his referee shirt to count the pin on Flair. Because that’s how WCW works anymore.

Rating: C-. It was Flair vs. Nash so you knew it was going to be at least watchable. The overbooking made sense here and Robinson just walking out was a nice touch. The ending on the other hand was stupid but exactly what you would expect from WCW at this point: someone just deciding they’re a referee and having their pin count. I mean, people can make US Title matches so why not this?

Post match Flair is taken out on a stretcher by people in white coats. Yep, they’re really doing this. Piper shows up to talk some trash as Flair is loaded into the van. Somehow Anderson doesn’t get what’s going on.

Dusty Rhodes joins commentary for no apparent reason.

WCW World Title: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Goldberg

Page is defending of course. The referee gets shoved down and we’re ready to go. Page charges at Goldberg and gets shoved down as well. Back up and Page is thrown to the floor where he stops to take a breather. He gets back in and tries the Diamond Cutter but is quickly sent back to the floor. A leg trip doesn’t even get one on Goldberg who hits a kind of AA into a cross armbreaker, sending Page into the ropes.

Page’s shoulder block has no effect and the spear connects out of nowhere. He goes to pick Page up for the Jackhammer but the champ sends him face first into the middle buckle instead. A swinging neckbreaker gets two for Page and a belly to belly suplex gets the same. Goldberg gets caught in a front facelock but he powers up into a kind of powerslam for two. Another Diamond Cutter attempt is countered into another powerslam and Goldberg is getting frustrated.

Page neckbreakers him for two but misses the discus lariat. A superkick puts Page into the corner and Goldberg loads up the spear but the champ is smart enough to just stay right where he is. Goldberg tries the spear anyway and hits the buckle. The Diamond Cutter connects but Goldberg kicks him off hard enough to send him onto the referee. Page loads up a foreign object but stops to use the referee as a shield for the spear.

The Jackhammer connects but there’s no referee. Page gets up and nails Goldberg with the foreign object to knock him out to the floor. He loads up the steps next to Goldberg and crushes the ankle with a chair. The referee wakes up and tries to stop Page, earning him a right hand to the face. Page loads up the Figure Four around the post but Nash makes the save for no apparent reason other than the script says so. He helps Goldberg into the ring but Page nails Nash with the belt to end the show.

Rating: C+. This was actually a good match until the screwy ending. These two have some solid chemistry together and can put on a good match with the right amount of time. Goldberg kicking out of the Diamond Cutter as strong as he did was a surprise and the ending was…..well I’ll get back to that. The match was good though.

Overall Rating: C+. You know if you just go by the wrestling, this was one of the best Nitros in a very long time. The Cruiserweight Title match was outstanding and the main event was solid too. You couple that with some other good to watchable stuff in between and write off the non-wrestling that was Hak vs. Knobbs and you have one heck of a show.

Unfortunately this heck of a show has an 800lb gorilla right in the middle of it and a 300lb orangutan at the end. We’ll start with the slightly better one first. Page and Nash’s double turn is acceptable as Nash has basically been a face for months now and Page….yeah it really doesn’t work. Much like the Flair stuff, it was just setting down its roots when they jumped it forward to the end goal.

One of WCW’s biggest problems at the moment is its lack of top faces. There’s Sting, Nash, Piper (oh joy) and in theory Savage, though he’s just a glorified manager right now. Nash becoming the top guy is fine enough, but it brings up the obvious question: if he wins the title, why should I believe he’s going to hang onto it? It may sound like a stupid question but the Fingerpoke was less than four months prior to this. It’s not out of the question.

That leaves us with the big problem with this show: Ric Flair, the fourteen time World Heavyweight Champion and the President of WCW was put in a white van and taken away to a mental hospital after apparently thinking he was President of the United States due to what could easily be written off as a slip of the tongue. Aside from what was just mentioned, the fact that it sets up Piper vs. Flair in 1999, how out of character it is for Flair and how much of a stretch this is, it’s not even a well told story.

From what we can tell, David Flair and Piper decided to have Flair institutionalized because he signed a single contract for a match without looking at it. Yeah it’s stupid but it’s not really grounds for being institutionalized. Just writing that and reading it back makes me realize it’s even worse. Ric Flair is being put in a mental hospital. Let it sink in for a second. This is a really bad idea and unfortunately it’s the first step off a cliff for WCW. Things were getting stupid before, but now they’re flying into the abyss.

Somehow though, the show was actually good for the most part. The Flair/Piper stuff is horrible but it’s only a part of what is otherwise a really good show. That’s what makes WCW so frustrating: they have the tools and ability to have a good product, but they do things like have a DJ in the arena (because I guess a professional wrestling show just isn’t entertaining enough) and the hardcore nonsense drags all the good stuff down.

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Today we’re going to look at a technician whose son is far more famous than he is: Bob Orton.

Bob got his start in 1972 but we’ll pick things up in Mid-South in 1981.

Mississippi Title: Bob Orton vs. Jimmy Garvin

Orton is defending. Garvin takes him down with a wristlock to start followed by a headlock on the mat. These guys look a lot alike from behind so it’s kind of hard to tell them apart. Back up and Orton misses a dropkick and Garvin headlocks him out of the corner to maintain control. They get back up again with Orton hammering away to take over. Garvin whips him into the corner and nails a backdrop, only to have the corner headlock countered into a belly to back suplex. Bob hits a middle rope elbow followed by a piledriver to retain.

Rating: D+. Not bad here but the time hurt them a lot. I did like the psychology near the end with Orton catching on to the earlier headlock and countering to take over. The piledriver wasn’t bad and the match did what it could in the time they had. Garvin was just a guy at this point and not the bigger deal he would become later.

Orton would head to the WWF and get a World Title shot in Philadelphia on May 22, 1982.

WWF World Title: Bob Backlund vs. Bob Orton Jr.

This is Orton’s return it seems. This is called the main event despite three more matches after this. Backlund outmoves him to start and trips Orton easily. Orton, a very good scientific wrestler in his own right, can’t keep up with Backlund at all and almost gets sent to the floor because he can’t even stand up when Backlund goes after him. There’s an abdominal stretch by the champ but Orton escapes.

Backlund hooks a top wristlock so Orton braces against the referee to backflip out of it. The champ trips him immediately but it was a cool visual. We get a test of strength and Backlund monkey flips him over but maintains the grip. Off to a bodyscissors as this is all Backlund so far but he’s not doing much damage. Instead he’s getting in Orton’s head which is a lot more interesting.

Backlund fakes him out on two monkey flips so Orton tries an elbow. Backlund avoids THAT and Orton is ticked off so he heads to the outside to cool off a bit. Backlund looks awesome so far. Orton tries an armdrag and is IMMEDIATELY taken into a headscissors. Backlund is so fast. I just realized they’re both named Bob so I had to go back and edit that name out. Pinfall reversal sequence results in a backslide for two for Backlund.

Orton wants a handshake and actually doesn’t sucker Backlund in. They go to the ropes and Backlund gives him a clean break but the Cowboy doesn’t, smashing Backlund with an elbow. Out to the floor and Backlund goes into the steel as Orton takes over. Backlund gets whipped over the railing and may have hurt his back. Somehow he’s not counted out so Orton stomps on him some more.

Here comes the superplex which is Orton’s finisher. Why can’t more people use basic moves like that and have them be built up as finishers? Anyway Backlund breaks that up and hits a middle rope forearm to knock Orton into the corner. Backlund hooks a suplex and pounds on Orton. Orton is in big trouble and rolls to the floor. Back inside and Backlund hits a not that great piledriver for two.

Orton comes back with a belly to back suplex and both guys are down. They slug it out from their knees and Orton gets his knee up in the corner to take Backlund down. Orton goes lucha and tries a Vader Bomb but it gets knees. Backlund knocks him to the floor which doesn’t last long as Backlund knees him in the head and dropkicks him right back to the floor. Now Orton is running which is where we get to the interesting part of Backlund which I’ll get to later. Out to the floor and Orton finds a rope from somewhere to choke Backlund with and the champ misses the count, giving Orton the win.

Rating: B. This was a very fun match as Backlund was the guy who was rather uninteresting until he was pushed to the edge when he would blow everyone away like he did here with Orton. He’s a fun guy to watch and would be even better in stuff like Texas Death Matches where his back was to the wall and he had to fight for everything he had, which he could do quite well. Fun match and by far the best of the night so far.

Orton would jump to the NWA and appear at Starrcade 1983 as one of Ric Flair’s cronies.

Wahoo McDaniel/Mark Youngblood vs. Dick Slater/Bob Orton

Slater and Orton put Flair out with a broken neck and McDaniel and Youngblood are Flair’s friends, here for revenge. Youngblood and McDaniel are both Native Americans so they come to the ring in big headdresses. Before the bell Dusty Rhodes is introduced to the live crowd for no apparent reason. Wahoo and Slater start things off with McDaniel quickly throwing him over the top and out onto the apron.

Back in and Wahoo works on the arm before it’s off to Mark for some arm work of his own. We cut to an overhead camera view which is pretty disorienting. Slater is slammed down but comes back with a quick rollup for two. Mark puts on a hammerlock as we go back to the overhead view. Slater is kicked to the apron again but comes back in with a Russian legsweep for two. Orton comes in with a knee to the back and it’s Youngblood in trouble.

A gorilla press backbreaker has Youngblood down again but Bob misses an elbow. After a quick chase on the floor, Orton brings Slater back in after only a brief rest on the apron. Actually scratch that again as the tag doesn’t count for some reason. It’s very clear that the tag team formula hasn’t been invented yet. A crisscross results in a backbreaker to Youngblood and a tag off to Slater. There’s a gutwrench suplex for two on Mark and he falls to the floor for some stomping by Orton.

Youngblood breaks the count by a second but the punishment to the back continues with a reverse chinlock. Orton lets go on the hold and stomps him in the face for good measure. Slater comes in and breaks up a tag before suplexing Mark down for two. Back up and they bang heads, allowing for the hot tag to Wahoo. He cleans house with an atomic drop on Orton and a big chop for good measure.

Everything breaks down and it’s Wahoo getting double teamed for a change. A belly to back suplex gets several two counts for Dick before it’s back to Orton. Bob misses a headbutt and it’s off to Mark who speeds things up almost immediately. Wahoo is sent to the floor and Youngblood has to fight off both villains on his own. After a quick double beating, Orton hits Youngblood with the superplex for the pin.

Rating: C. Not a terrible match here but the majority of it was Slater and Orton toying with Youngblood and McDaniel which doesn’t make for very entertaining action. I’m not sure what sort of revenge this gets for Flair and it makes the Native Americans look pretty lame. Also this is the fourth straight loss for the good guys here.

It was off to the WWF soon after this, including this match at the Brawl to End It All.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Greg Valentine

Valentine was a much bigger deal back in this era, even “being awarded” the WWF Title once in a big mess that was a pretty decent story. Anyway let’s get to this. We get promos from both guys. Valentine says Hogan is going to feel his wrath. There’s a reason he rarely talked. Albano is his manager. This guy was BUSY back then.

Hogan had only been champion about 6 months at this point so his title reign wasn’t really huge yet. Eye of the Tiger for his music at this point along with the white tights. Sweet GOODNESS Hogan is over. The song fits perfectly here, almost better than Real American. What was up with the five bell strikes after everything Fink said? Hammer jumps Hogan and we’re on.

Oh come on it’s 1984 like that’s going to work at all. This is Hogan back when he was in his 20s so he’s moving incredibly well. Scratch that actually as he’s 31 here. It’s so weird to think that his big break didn’t come until he was that old. It just comes off as strange in today’s era of people being world champion by their mid 20s.

Valentine reverses a headlock into a suplex to take some control. Hogan takes back over a bit later with just pure power. He even throws in a shoulderbreaker to mess with our heads a bit. We hit the floor and it’s all Hogan. Valentine jumps him as he gets back in and Gene says it’s because Valentine is a capitalist. Ok then.

A chinlock has our hero in trouble. Hogan does the always funny finger shake of no before the comeback. He throws some left hands which are weird to see from him. Valentine gets some chair shots to the knee and the referee is ok with it I guess. Figure four is blocked twice so Valentine just punches him. Rather than Hulking Up Hogan just hits Valentine as he’s coming off the top and drops the leg to retain. It was a different time I guess.

Rating: C+. Nothing that special here as it’s really just a standard Hogan title defense. It’s not bad or anything but it’s just Hogan out there doing his thing and not really looking like he’s in that much trouble. Still though he was moving very well out there and had the place rocking so I’ll give him something for that. Decent match and fine for a basic title defense.

Here’s a match from August 10, 1984 against a fellow legend.

Pat Patterson vs. Bob Orton

Orton jumps him at the bell and takes over before dropping a knee for two. Patterson quickly fights out of a chinlock and catapults him into the corner. We actually get a bit violent as Patterson wraps the leg around the post a few times. Back in and we hit the Figure Four but Orton makes the ropes after just a few seconds. Orton is limping around now and stalls on the apron for a breather, only to get caught in a knee crusher. It doesn’t seem to have much effect though as Orton hits a big backbreaker for two. Pat grabs a quick rollup but Orton reverses into one of his own and grabs the trunks for the pin.

Rating: D+. This started off slowly but it got better as things went on. Patterson was clearly nearing the end of his run here and would actually be done as an active competitor in less than two months. Orton was getting better at this point and wins like this would help him gain credibility with the crowd.

Orton would be involved in the main event of Wrestlemania as a manager. This led to him getting his own World Title shot at the first SNME.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Bob Orton

Hogan coming out to Eye of the Tiger is some combination of odd, awesome and epic. You figure out the proportions. Naturally it starts out with Hogan completely dominating Orton. This was also on the DVD but the color and picture quality were WAY better there. It looks bad here to say the least. This is exactly what you would expect it to be: Hogan works the arm and then a shot from Orton gives him control. Our hero is in trouble. WHAT IS HE GOING TO DO???

Well at the moment he’s going to get his head kicked in a little more. And of course there’s the comeback and you know the finish. Actually I typed too soon. Hogan drops an elbow and uses a headbutt of all things. Orton takes over again. This is most odd indeed. Hogan fights out of the superplex and comes off the top rope! He goes for the leg but Piper runs in for the DQ. The heels beat up T and set for the double team but Orndorff runs out for the save and the full face turn.

Rating: C. This was just pure average. It was what you expected but the DQ was kind of odd. It’s not like a pin would have been odd here but whatever. This was fine for what it was. Hogan gets on TV and the biggest star got to showcase himself. Orton was a talented guy and a good option for something like this.

Take two guys, let them have a great match. From July 20, 1985, I believe in Toronto.

Bob Orton vs. Ricky Steamboat

This looks like Toronto. Steamboat goes after the bad arm which is a very slow healing injury. Orton tries to kip up but can’t quite escape the arm hold. Steamboat slams him and we’re right back to the arm. Orton comes back with a beal and flying headscissors but misses a charge which sends him to the floor. Out there he throws a drink in Steamboat’s face but that’s not a DQ.

Orton takes over and hooks a cravate. Off to a chinlock which is quickly broken but Steamboat can’t slam him. Orton hooks the chinlock on again and rubs the cast in his face. I love little things like that. Steamboat comes back with chops and heads to the top. The top rope cross body only gets two, probably putting Orton in a very elite club.

Steamboat gets thrown to the apron but he skins the cat and comes back with a shot to send Orton to the floor. He was always great at that bump. The Cowboy tries to suplex Ricky to the floor but Steamboat counters. They speed it up again and Ricky misses a splash. Orton loads up the cast and comes off the top with a shot to the head and that draws the DQ.

Rating: B. Two guys that are absolutely great getting a good deal of time in front of a hot crowd. What are you expecting but a solid match? Orton was great as a guy that could be thrown in there and be asked to give you a solid match. He’s kind of the Kofi of his day but as a mat guy instead of a high flier. You never get a bad match out of him and he’s always entertaining. Very fun match.

Time for some comedy at SNME #4.

Jesse Ventura/Roddy Piper/Bob Orton vs. Cousin Luke/Uncle Elmer/Hillbilly Jim

Jim is the most talented of the face hillbilly team. What does that tell you? Piper and Orton say funny things about the hillbillies. He was a total master on the mic in this era. The hillbillies say generic hillbilly stuff. The mat is dark gray and the ropes are mixed up, as in they go blue, red then white. It’s weirder than it sounds. Also, the ring looks TINY. Uncle Elmer and Ventura start. Elmer is REALLY fat.

Wow it’s odd hearing Heenan from this era. It really is. He’s a totally different commentator. He’s still his usual jerky self, but his voice sounds different to put it mildly. Luke…sucks. That’s all there is to it. I mean he sucks HARD. Naturally he gets beaten down for the majority of the match. Piper was still moving in the ring at this time and was far better at wrestling than he was given credit for.

Jesse’s wrestling was underrated. He knew how to sell and could work a crowd really well. Luke gets his head handed to him for a good while. We get the classic ref doesn’t see the tag spot which is one of the easiest ways in the world to get heat on someone. Piper beats up Uncle Elmer, who is like 6’7 and close to 500lbs on his own. It’s rather amusing. We get a melee and after a cast shot to Luke, Piper puts him to sleep to end a glorified squash.

Rating: D. Weak stuff here but like I said, I’d expect a lot of that. There was heat from the crowd, but when the third best in ring guy is Hillbilly Jim, it’s a bad sign. What else was there going to be with the Hillbilly stable? They never were anything but comic relief, though I don’t remember most people finding them funny. This just didn’t work and felt weak.

From July 26, 1986. How could this be bad?

Tito Santana vs. Bob Orton

This is around the time when Orton is siding with Adrian Adonis so he’s even more hated since it was arguable that Adonis was the most hated heel in the company (not top heel, most hated. There’s a difference.). Gorilla says Tito has Excellence of Execution. We’re in Boston again here. They exchange basic stuff to start and hit the mat. Clipped to talking about Terry Garvin and that’s not going to go well.

Orton hits a hip toss and a slow flying headscissors. He misses a dive in the corner though and kind of crotches himself. Tito sends him to the floor because he’s not a nice person at times. Back in a jackknife cover gets two for Santana. This is shaping up to be LONG. Tito throwing on an armbar would seem to confirm my theory. Clipped again to later in the armbar so you know this is going to last awhile.

Orton gets up and just pounds him down as the fans boo. Backslide gets one for Tito and it’s back to the arm. As the fans’ eyes begin to close, Orton finally wakes them up a bit with an atomic drop. His shoulder hits the post though and so it’s back to the arm. Bob sends him to the floor to make this slow down even more. Santana gets thrown into a barricade and knocks it over.

Tito gets draped on the rope coming back in and Orton walks around even slower. And now we go to a chinlock. Grrrrrreat. Thankfully Tito atomic drops out of it and they both fall down. And then Bob grabs it right back. Tito punches him down and grabs the leg. He works it over a bit and here’s the Figure Four. After Orton gets the rope, Tito sets for the headknocker but takes a head to the balls (at least it’s a complete set) and Bob takes over again. They slug it out and the bell rings for a time limit draw. Apparently this ran 30 minutes.

Rating: D+. It’s ok but that’s just it: there’s nothing interesting here at all. They do a little bit of something and then they do a little bit of something else. They repeat this for the twenty minutes that we see of it. I don’t want to imagine what would have happened here if this was shown in full. What does this prove to anyone? That’s why you don’t see many of these that often. Also, this is proof that simply going 30 or 60 minutes as so many old guys claim to have done, doesn’t mean it’s any good.

Time for a match that was years in the making. From SNME #8.

Roddy Piper vs. Bob Orton

Adrian Adonis attacked Piper earlier in the day apparently. Muraco is out at ringside too and is wearing a kilt for some reason. That’s inconsequential though as he’s sent to the back. Piper’s punches and fists are insanely fast. He looks kind of fat here for some reason. To end this very short match, Piper rams Orton into Hart for the rollup and the pin. This was all of two minutes long. Way too short to properly rate but it was just a brawl with punching and some other basic strikes so it would have been low anyway.

Orton would hook up with Don Muraco and open Wrestlemania III.

Can-Am Connection vs. Don Muraco/Bob Orton

No story here as they’re just two teams having a match. The Can-Am Connection is Rick Martel (Can) and Tom Zenk (Am) which would kind of evolve into Strike Force. Martel and Muraco start things off with Rick hitting a quick shoulder to take Don down. A hip block and a kind of monkey flip put Muraco down again and it’s a standoff. Zenk comes in for a double monkey flip and it’s off to Orton who gets armdragged down as well.

Bob gets hit from one corner to the other until Zenk takes him down with an armbar. All Connection so far. They trade full nelsons and Muraco hits Orton by mistake for two. Bob gets his arm cranked on a bit until FINALLY making the tag out to Muraco. The bad luck continues for the heels as Don is slammed down and has his arm worked on as well.

Orton and Muraco finally start cheating with a knee to Zenk’s back and a shot from the middle rope. Zenk and Bob ram heads and it’s a double tag as everything breaks down. The heels are sent into each other and a double dropkick takes Orton down. Muraco gets double teamed and a cross body with a trip from Zenk is enough for Martel to get the pin.

Rating: B-. I’ve called this the best opening match in Wrestlemania history and I don’t think it’s that far off from the truth. There are definitely matches of higher quality, but think about what an opening match is supposed to do. It’s designed to set the tone for a show and this one did that. It’s about five and a half minutes long and the good guys beat the bad guys with some nice continuity. It’s nothing flashy but it wasn’t supposed to be. This is a very nice, basic tag match and the crowd was into it, which is all it was supposed to accomplish. Good stuff here.

Here’s a rematch from Superstars on August 17, 1987.

Hulk Hogan vs. Bob Orton

Non-title and Orton has Mr. Fuji in his corner. Orton takes Hulk into the corner to start but Hulk easily punches him out to the floor and over the barricade. Back in and Orton is whipped hart into the corner and Hulk drops a series of elbows. There’s a running clothesline in the corner and it looks like we’ve got a broken top rope. Orton nails a backbreaker and knees Hogan to the floor for a breather.

We take a break and come back with Orton dropping an elbow to the apron and hammering away at Hulk’s head. Off to the chinlock for a bit before another elbow drop gets two for Bob. Back to the chinlock followed by a knee drop for two. Hogan fights up and sends Orton into the buckle over and over but walks into a knee lift. Orton can’t go up though so a regular elbow gets two. Hulk Up, legdrop, we’re done.

Rating: C-. Standard Hogan match from the late 80s here in what was probably a dark match to close out a long TV taping. The match wasn’t anything great but the Hogan formula was used over and over again for a reason: it’s such a basic idea and it still makes for some entertaining matches.

It was back to the NWA for a bit for this match at Clash of the Champions VI.

Bob Orton vs. Dick Murdoch

Orton, managed by Gary Hart is another newcomer even though he’s been wrestling forever. Murdoch has been around even longer and is nicknamed Captain Redneck. They fight into the corner to start before trading fireman’s carry takeovers. Murdoch puts on a wristlock but Orton nips up and counters into one of his own. Dick comes back with another wristlock into a hammerlock before Orton counters into an armbar. Murdoch looks annoyed instead of in any pain at all.

We hit the five minute mark and we look at the legends looking bored in the audience. The hold is FINALLY broken and Orton drops a few knees. They slug it out in the only interesting part of the match so far. Murdoch dropkicks him into the corner and the fans are actually waking up a bit. Some hard elbows to the chest have Bob reeling and Murdoch easily blocks a superplex attempt. Dick loads up the brainbuster but Gary Hart reaches in and trips his leg to give Orton the pin in the same finish as Warrior vs. Rude at roughly the same time.

Rating: D. This was a horribly uninteresting match save for that little rush near the end. I get the idea of the match being old school, but it doesn’t make the match any more interesting here. There was no explained story here other than “they’re both veterans and a lot alike”, which isn’t enough to get me through six minutes of wristlocks.

Orton’s full time career was starting to wind down around this time but he would get on with the new UWF promotion. This is from some point in 1990/1991.

Sonny Beach vs. Bob Orton

Orton is with John Tolos and is a 247lb wrestler apparently. Hopefully this goes quickly. This was in the middle of an hour long show as this is listed as the next match. Beach is a surfer in case you didn’t get the idea. This channel has a really bad habit of cutting to a commercial out of nowhere where it seems like there shouldn’t be a commercial there. Yep I’m bored already, just like the fans here.

How much were these guys paid to show up I wonder. This just is boring to say the least. It’s just suck a basic match and the guys are so uninspired that it’s pathetic. WHO IN THE WORLD THOUGHT THIS NEEDED TWO COMMERCIALS??? Oh great now we’re on the floor to make this thing go even LONGER. And after FIFTEEN MINUTES of TV time, Steve Ray comes in for the DQ.

Rating: D-. Foley is involved so it isn’t a failure. SWEET GOODNESS this was boring though. This Beach guy has been on every show and he’s just not any good at a ll. Orton was past his prime by about 5 years here and the whole thing was awful. Terribly boring match and I have no idea what they saw in Beach.

Orton would basically retire at this point, but would be brought out of retirement for Heroes of Wrestling.

Bob Orton vs. Jimmy Snuka

They say Orton is from Kansas City, Kansas even though it’s been Missouri his whole career. They say they’ve been excited for this match since the video of the poker game, meaning all of 3 minutes. Albano is stepping down as Commissioner after tonight. Good to know I guess. They do a long mat sequence which is the highlight of the match but gets an Orton is gay chant. Yeah because good wrestling is such a terrible thing to have on the card. Ok to be fair he does work the arm way too long, as in he does it nearly 5 minutes.

Nothing at all of note happens in this match, but it’s by far the least sloppy of them all. Snuka wins with a crossbody from the top. Why? You have one of the most famous finishers of all time and you use a freaking high cross body that they act like is the same thing as the splash. I don’t know what to even say to this.

Rating: F+. Somehow this was 11 minutes long. I think nearly half of that was arm work by Orton. Did any of that actually mean anything? Not at all of course as that would have been psychology and a good thing and we can’t have our HEROES do that. I still can’t get over the lack of the splash though. Who thought that was a good idea?

Orton would come out of retirement again to help his son in a war with Undertaker. From No Mercy 2005.

Undertaker vs. Bob Orton/Randy Orton

Both Ortons have to go in for Undertaker to win. Taker gets the full druid entrance as they bring out the casket. He then gets his own entrance to really fill in time. Taker controls with punches to start, knocking both Ortons around. Then the numbers take over so the Ortons control with punches. Now Taker comes back and knocks them both down. He manages to throw Bob in the casket but Randy throws Taker knees first into the steps.

Undertaker is put in the casket but gets out with, you guessed it, punches. Back in the ring and Bob is down in the corner. Old School is loaded up for Randy but Bob manages to crotch him. Both Ortons go up on the ropes and they manage a double superplex. Bob covers probably out of instinct. They keep trying to double suplex Taker into the casket but Taker counters into a double DDT.

Bob is thrown into the casket and Randy takes the snake eyes/big boot combo. Bob is out of the casket now and appears to have something in his hands. Oh it’s a fire extinguisher. Randy hits the backbreaker in the ring and we go outside. Randy jumps off the apron but gets rammed back first into the post. A big chair shot to the back puts Randy in and Bob gets caught in a triangle choke. Taker finally gets Bob in but Randy gets up and knocks Taker away.

All three are in the casket now as the younger guys stand up and brawl. Taker knocks Randy out and slams the lid on Bob. The announcers talk like that eliminates him but there’s been nothing that implies he would be until now. Randy low blows Undertaker and hits the powerslam. Randy opens the casket but takes a low blow as well. Taker pounds on him some more but Randy hits the dropkick and they go into the corner.

Randy, ever the idiot, puts himself in perfect position for the Last Ride. Tazz: “WHY DID HE DO THAT???” Last Ride kills Randy but Bob pops out of the casket with the fire extinguisher. A blast into the eyes by Bob allows Randy to hit the RKO. Bob tries to roll Taker into the casket but Taker grabs him by the throat. Randy pops up with the fire extinguisher to the head and Taker is knocked into the casket. He pulls Randy in with him and the lid closes, but for some reason that doesn’t end it. Not that it matters as Taker and Randy pop up seconds later and Randy hits him with a chair to win.

Rating: C-. It’s not a horrible match I don’t guess but it never got interesting at all. That’s what this PPV has been in a nutshell: not bad but nothing to get excited about at all. Cole declaring this the final nail in Undertaker’s coffin was laughable because that guy has died more times than I can count but he keeps coming back. Anyway, not bad but it lead to HIAC at I think Armageddon.

Bob Orton is the definition of a great technical hand that reached the peak of his career. There was no way he was going to become World Champion but he was awesome as a guy that a top star had to get through to get to the big villain. That broken arm gimmick could work like a charm if used today, but Orton made it as good as it could get. Unfortunately his son completely overshadows him because people have forgotten how good Bob was.

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