Monday Nitro – September 7, 1998: They Don’t Make This Easy On Me

Monday Nitro #153
Date: September 7, 1998
Location: Pensecola Civic Center, Pensecola, Florida
Attendance: 6,379
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Larry Zbyszko, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay

It’s the go home show for Nitro and the main story is of course the Warrior taking out the NWO with his sleeping gas that doesn’t work on either himself or Hogan. The big story coming into tonight is Page giving his answer to the Wolfpack who gave him until tonight to decide about joining. The main event for tonight is Dean Malenko vs. Curt Hennig in a cage, which is a pretty smart idea actually. “You think this is awesome? This Sunday it’s twice as much carnage!” Let’s get to it.

As a side note: Nitro turns 3 years old with this show. It’s hard to believe it was only on that long at this point.

We open with the NWO freaking out in Hogan’s locker room due to Warrior graffiti everywhere. Vincent runs in to get Hogan and says someone has been taken away in an ambulance. There was a lot of confusion but it might have been Scott Norton and/or Brian Adams. Hogan and the NWO storm out to the ring to search for Warrior with Bischoff demanding that Warrior come out. Hollywood rants about Warrior staining his dressing room and injuring Norton and Adams. He’s as sick as Warrior as he is Hart, so Hart is off the WarGames team and Giant is on.

Opening sequence.

Konnan vs. Bull Pain

Feeling out process to start until Konnan sends him into the corner and takes Pain down with a rolling clothesline. Pain rakes the eyes to come back and sends Konnan outside for a clothesline off the apron. Back in and Pain hits something like a frog splash for two but misses a middle rope elbow. Konnan makes a very quick comeback with the X Factor to set up the Tequila Sunrise for the win. Pain didn’t look bad at all.

Announcers talk for a bit.

JJ Dillon says Hart is still in WarGames instead of Giant. Glad to see they resolved that story inside of fifteen minutes.

Nitro Girls.

Gene brings out DDP for a chat. He’s ready for WarGames, where he’ll take care of Hollywood SCUM Hogan. That brings him to the Wolfpack, which asked him to join last week. The Black and White offered him a spot a year ago and he made them feel the Bang. Now the Wolfpack seems like they’re threatening him and that’s not cool with Page. He doesn’t trust the Wolfpack so his answer is no.

This brings out Nash to thank Page for the history lesson. If Page isn’t part of his team at WarGames, he’s their target on Sunday. Page says he can’t trust Nash and can’t see how Luger or Sting can either. Those two hit the ring with Luger saying he and Sting were as close to WCW as anyone but they came on board.

He wants to know where Page stands, but Page says the same thing he said earlier: Nash would turn on either of them at the drop of a hat. Sting says Nash has powerbombed him a few times now but he still trusts him. Sting has also bailed Page out time after time but if Page isn’t interested, go get Piper and we’ll have a tag match. The Wolfpack leaves and Page says he wants Nash on that team.

Back with even more talking as Gene brings out Roddy Piper. He says he isn’t Page’s midget, lapdog or wife. Piper doesn’t like ultimatums and the teams mean nothing on Sunday. If he and Page are the last two guys standing, of course they’re going to fight each other. He’ll team with Page tonight though.

Video on the Nitro Girls. Nothing wrong with that.

Lenny Lane vs. Wrath

Wrath throws him around with ease to start and fires off kicks in the corner. A HUGE beal sends Lane flying across the ring and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts him down again. Lane tries a sleeper but is thrown down and flipped upside down off a shoulder block. Meltdown ends this fast.

Disciple is found hanging upside down in the NWO locker room.

Here’s Bret with something of his own to say. Before he can get anything out though, we get NWO music and here are Vincent, Hennig and Stevie Ray. However Sting runs out to chase the three of them off before anything can be said. Sting hands Bret the bat and turns his back on him but Bret drops the bat.

Hour #2 begins.

We look at Scott Steiner turning on his brother from seven months ago, even though we haven’t seen them fight yet. There are some cool old school clips of the Steiners being the best tag team in the world back in the early 90s.

Evan Karagias vs. Scott Steiner

Have a good Cruiserweight Title match, get squashed by Steiner next week. Makes sense. Buff comes in to commentary before Scott grabs the mic and takes credit for all of the Steiner Brothers’ success. Steiner pounds him down to start and talks trash on the mic at the beginning. A gorilla pres drop puts Evan down and a double underhook powerbomb sets up the Steiner Recliner for the win. Another match too short to rate.

Nitro Girls and Nitro Party winner.

Cruiserweight Title: Juventud Guerrera vs. Hector Garza

This is Garza’s return after knee surgery and he’s challenging. Garza takes over with a quick backdrop and some chops against the ropes but Juvy avoids a splash in the corner. The announcers ignore the match to talk about the NWO parody of the Horsemen from a year ago in this building as Juvy dives to the floor and drives Garza into the barricade. They head back inside where Hector dropkicks Juvy out of the air for two.

A nice spinebuster gets the same before it’s off to a Boston Crab with Hector lifting Juvy off the mat by his arms and rocking him back and forth. La Majistral gets two for Hector and he grabs a double underhook but pulls back on Juvy’s arms for a submission attempt. That goes nowhere so he just throws Juvy into the air and lets him crash. A dropkick to the back puts Guerrera down but he jumps to the apron and hits a quick missile dropkick for two. Garza blocks the top rope hurricanrana and hits a wicked powerbomb for two. A Lionsault minus the running start only hits mat though and the Juvy Driver retains the title.

Rating: C. This was fine. Garza was wrestling a different style than most luchadors here but he looked decent in his first match back after a knee surgery. Juvy continues to look awesome and he’s well deserving of the title. I like him having these title defenses every week as it makes whoever beats him look even better.

Hennig and Rude come out to talk about the Horsemen. Curt says he slammed the door on the Horsemen a year ago and calls Arn Anderson a coward. Rude says the Horsemen were riding high fifteen years ago (not quite) but now they’ve been put out to pasture. As for Malenko tonight, Curt says Dean is just being a horse’s ask Rick Rude about it.

Kenny Kaos vs. The Cat

Miller is slapping hands now despite being a heel for weeks. He dances around to start before stomping on Kaos’ foot and sweeping the leg to take over. Kaos gets annoyed and kicks him in the ribs, only to have his eyes raked. Miller throws him to the floor but Kenny comes back in with a springboard clothesline and puts on something like an abdominal stretch on the mat. Miller fights back but gets caught in a barely swinging neckbreaker, only to come back with the Feliner (Trouble in Paradise) for the pin.

Rating: N/A. The match ran 3:03 and about 40 seconds of that were spent on Miller posing. The guy just isn’t interesting at all and it’s getting annoying having to sit through him every week. Kaos was another jobber of the week for him here but I have no idea who thinks Miller is going to get over doing the same stuff he’s always done.

Miller issues an open challenge and no one comes out.

Stevie Ray vs. Chris Adams

Adams has some awesome trumpet music now. Stevie’s eyes are bugging out and it’s rather bizarre looking. Chris goes right at him to start but Stevie shoves him out of the corner, allowing Vincent to get in some cheap shots of his own. The fans chant for Booker T as Stevie slowly pounds Adams and puts on a nerve hold.

A knee to the face puts Adams down again but he avoids a charge in the corner and scores with a belly to back suplex. An enziguri staggers Stevie for a bit and a middle rope clothesline looks to finish but a Vincent distraction stops Chris cold. Stevie superkicks him down and hits the Slap Jack (Pedigree) for the DX Special and the pin.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here as usual. It’s a bad sign when the jobber’s music is the best part of a match. I still don’t get why Stevie Ray was given this spot but he’s not terrible in the role. It gives him something to do, but to go from the less interesting half of a tag team to a PPV main event in a few months is a jump for anyone, let alone Stevie Ray.

Another Nitro Girls video, this time with each Girl having her name listed.

Riggs vs. Kanyon

That’s a very strange pairing which is why something is up. Raven orders Lodi to make Saturn face Riggs instead of Kanyon, saying it’s about honor Army Boy. Riggs takes over early with a dropkick and a shoulder in the corner. Raven talks a lot of trash as Lodi tells Saturn to fight back. Saturn has had no offense yet. A standing clothesline puts Saturn down again and a running forearm does the same.

The fans think Lodi sucks as Saturn ducks a right hand and kicks Riggs in the face. Saturn keeps the momentum going with a t-bone suplex and some chops in the corner before throwing Riggs out to the floor. Riggs is thrown into the steps and barricade before the Death Valley Driver is good for the pin.

Rating: D+. More angle advancement here in the best story in WCW at this point. Riggs could have been any member of the Flock but it helped that he’s arguably the best known out of all the lackeys. Saturn is getting a great rub out of this and the story is helping make him a bigger deal. It never ceases to amaze me how simple that is yet it hardly ever happens.

Post match Raven wants to test Saturn’s honor, so he has Lodi order Saturn to break Riggs’ fingers. Saturn says there’s no honor in that so he’s given another option: break Riggs’ fingers or let Raven break Saturn’s. Saturn holds up his hand and Raven snaps at least two of them, leaving Saturn writhing around in pain though he refuses help from the trainer. The match is going to be awesome.

Hour #3 begins with more Nitro Girls.

TV Title: Chris Jericho vs. Jim Neidhart

This isn’t even the strangest challenger of the night. Jericho says he definitely is the Walrus. “Goo goo ga choo.” Neidhart quickly sends him outside and shrugs off a shoulder block back inside. Jericho is thrown into the air and crashes back down to the mat as this is one sided so far. Chris comes back with a dropkick and its springboard cousin sends Neidhart to the floor. Neidhart is sent into the barricade and back inside for a kick to the face and a two count.

Jim comes back with some hard whips into the corner but is leveraged to the floor. Jericho’s plancha is caught in midair and Jim rams him back first into the post to take over again. Back in and Neidhart misses a middle rope splash, setting up a very strange finish. Jericho tries the Walls, but Neidhart won’t let the hold go on full. Jericho eventually gets him turned but Neidhart keeps fighting as the referee calls for the bell, saying Jim is out, even though he’s clearly crawling for the rope. The bell doesn’t ring the first two times the referee asks for the bell which makes it even stranger. Both guys look confused.

Rating: D+. The match was decent for a power vs. speed match despite the strange ending. There was either some miscommunication or they were running short on time but whatever they were trying didn’t work. I’m not sure if the two things are connected or not, but this was Neidhart’s last match on Nitro as he would be gone before the end of the month.

Here’s Eddie Guerrero to say there’s nothing he enjoys more than wrestling in WCW because Eric Bischoff won’t let him go wrestle anywhere else. Last week he hurt his back in the Brian Adams match, so he can’t wrestle until he has an MRI. Eddie’s contract says that if he gets hurt, it’s Bischoff who is responsible. Therefore, to keep lawyers out of the situation, he’s taking the night off. Eddie was in a shirt with a picture of a pencil crossed out to reference Eric bragging about how much power he has with his pen.

The cage is lowered.

Curt Hennig vs. Dean Malenko

There’s a top on the cage too. Hennig jumps Dean to start and fires off chops and kicks to Ice Man. There’s a referee in the ring and Tony implies you can’t win by escape. Dean comes back with a leg lariat but Hennig jumps up and grabs the roof, only to be pulled back down in a big crash. Hennig avoids a charge in the corner and Dean rams his shoulder and head into the steel to change control again.

Curt goes after the shoulder as Rude is seen trying to pick the lock. The shoulder is sent into the buckle for two and Hennig rams him head first into the cage. Malenko comes back with kicks out of the corner but Curt gets in a shot to the ribs to put him down again. Hennig wants Dean to give up and wave at his Horsemen buddies. Another ram into the cage gets two as Dean is in trouble.

Hennig keeps showing psychology by going to a cross armbreaker. Dean rolls on top of him to break the pressure, only to be sent into the cage again. Malenko finally gets a double leg and catapults Curt into the cage as the fans go NUTS. Dean sends him into the cage again but Hennig gets the rope to block the Cloverleaf. Curt tries a slam but the referee gets bumped, only to have Dean dropkick Hennig into the cage and grab the Cloverleaf. Hennig taps out but cue the NWO with Bischoff unlocking the cage and letting Rude and Stevie Ray lay out Malenko for a DQ. In a cage match?

Rating: B-. Let Malenko make a comeback and win with the Cloverleaf here and it’s a sleeper classic. I’ll give credit to WCW: they managed to book a DQ with an NWO run-in in a cage match. That takes talent. The thing to notice here though was the crowd’s reaction. They were behind Malenko here and wanted to see tradition win the war against the jerks that wants to kill it. WCW just didn’t want to believe that and never went with it.

Curt loads up the door slam on Malenko’s head as the fans chant for Goldberg. They get someone a little bit better though. ARN ANDERSON hits the ring and cleans house, throwing Stevie into the cage and daring the NWO to come inside the cage and fight him. Malenko and Anderson share a look of respect and saying Anderson has his back. Absolutely awesome moment here with Arn having a very intense look on his face for the first time in too long.

WCW World Title: Goldberg vs. Scott Putski

Thankfully the match is over before fans realize that SCOTT PUTSKI might be going into Fall Brawl as world champion. Yeah Fall Brawl: the second straight PPV where Goldberg isn’t defending the world title.

Nitro Girls again.

Lex Luger/Sting vs. Diamond Dallas Page/Roddy Piper

I guess Nash was busy combing his hair. Piper and Page get in an argument over who is going to start until it’s Page vs. Luger. They circle each other for a bit until Piper tags himself in and goes off on Luger, stomping him down onto the ropes. They head outside for a whip into the barricade and more stompings by Piper. He shouts to Page that it’s war before tagging DDP in for a belly to back suplex and a two count.

Lex comes back with the running forearm and it’s off to Sting to speed things up. A jumping DDT puts Page down again but he comes right back with a running DDT of his own. Everything breaks down and a double clothesline puts Sting and Page down. Cue Nash to post Piper and Jackknife Page for the DQ.

Rating: D. This was barely a match and just a primer for the show on Sunday. Piper was energetic but it doesn’t help that it’s nearly 1999 and Roddy Piper is in a match for a future world title shot on PPV. He was right about the team stuff though and ruined the entire premise in one line earlier tonight. To be fair it wasn’t a good premise in the first place but he did indeed ruin it.

Here are Hogan and Giant to close the show. Hollywood, while grabbing a chair, says he knows the rules now and if Warrior still wants a piece he’ll have to go through the Giant. First though, let’s lower the cage to surround the NWO and let Warrior walk right through the door. Hogan goes on a rant about Goldberg as the smoke fills the ring. The smoke clears, Hogan is coughing, Giant is out, and Warrior is sitting in a chair inside the cage.

Ever the genius, Warrior circles Hogan, who has a chair in hand by the way, for a minute and a half before taking off his jacket. He misses his chair shot and Hogan gets in one of his own to no effect. Bischoff comes out and unlocks the cage to let Hogan out as Warrior gets to stand tall with the smoke filling the ring again. Warrior is gone and Hogan/Bischoff are terrified to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This show was so frustrating. There were so many good things on the show like the Horsemen, the Flock and Jericho, but then we get The Amazing Warrior and his magic act. It’s stupid when Undertaker does this stuff but at least he’s a character with a supernatural side to him. With Warrior, it comes off as Hogan and Bischoff looking like morons who are scared of their own shadows.

There are a lot of good things going on right now and almost all of them are completely isolated from the main event scene. Hogan seems to be running a circus in the main events anymore while Goldberg is stuck beating up guys like Al Green and Scott Putski. You couldn’t throw in a title match against Giant for Sunday?

A quick look at the card for Fall Brawl shows me that we have Jim Neidhart/British Bulldog vs. Disco Inferno/Alex Wright and Ernest Miller vs. Norman Smiley in matches that combine for over sixteen minutes. There’s room for that but not for the WORLD CHAMPION who is the hottest act in the company? It couldn’t be that Hogan was jealous and holding him off or anything so he could soothe his ego from a match that no one has thought of in years could it? This promotion is so frustrating and it’s only going to get worse as time goes on.

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Monday Nitro – August 31, 1998: With A Jamaican Witch Doctor

Monday Nitro #152
Date: August 31, 1998
Location: Miami Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 12,481
Commentators: Larry Zbyszko, Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay

We’re still getting ready for WarGames and even though Team WCW looked to be in place last Monday, DDP suggested that Piper wasn’t officially a part of the team this past week on Thunder. Other than that we get to find out more about the Warrior’s Revolution, which is likely to get very stupid in a hurry. Let’s get to it.

Here are Hogan and Bischoff to get us going. Bischoff thanks the fans for their money tonight before talking about the pen being powerful. Because of the pen, Eddie Guerrero has to wrestle tonight and Ultimate Warrior won’t be in the ring. Hogan talks about how WarGames will be proof of the NWO’s power and adds Stevie Ray to the team along with himself and Bret. You have Giant on your side and you pick Stevie Ray? The fans chant for Goldberg as Hogan moves on to Warrior. He’ll get his revenge after eight years and then take the title back from Goldberg.

Actually Hogan doesn’t even want to wait for Warrior so get out here right now. The lights go out and Warrior appears to some middle of the road rock music before a song that sounds very similar to Warrior’s WWF theme. Hogan says the fire represents the fear in Warrior’s eyes because the NWO is at ringside. The lights go out again and the ring fills up with smoke. They come back on and Warrior is gone, leaving the NWO confused. We get the Warrior Symbol in the sky before going to the opening sequence.

Hogan/Hart vs. Sting/Luger tonight.

We get a video of Goldberg at the Florida Marlins’ stadium and hanging out with Mark McGwire. For those of you unfamiliar, McGwire was chasing the single season home run record in 1998 and was quite possibly the biggest thing in America at that point.

Wrath vs. Jim Powers

Wrath chops away in the corner and shrugs off forearms from Powers. Powerful shots to the chest have Jim in trouble and choking ensues. Jim comes back with some right hands in the corner with the fans trying to count along but Wrath keeps shoving him off to restart the count. An atomic drop by Wrath seems to blow out Powers’ knee so it’s the Meltdown for the pin.

Rating: D+. Wrath looked good out there as he ran over Powers like he wasn’t even there. The Meltdown is a good move for a guy that strong with the snap looking very impressive. This was Powers’ last match in WCW and I don’t think anyone missed him. Shame to go out with a knee injury like that if it was legit.

Nitro Girls at the announcers’ desk.

Okerlund and some Nitro Girls are at the Nitro Party grand prize winner in Ohio.

Norman Smiley vs. Scott Norton

Norton immediately headbutts him into the corner. A series of chops set up a powerslam for two as Norton pulls him up. He does the same off the shoulder breaker before powerbombing Norman in half for the pin.

The lights go out after the match and the Warrior is seen in the rafters.

Saturn carries Lodi’s bags into the arena due to losing a match on Thunder. The servitude lasts until Fall Brawl. Saturn says he has to do this because he lives by a code of honor as a former Army ranger.

Here’s the Wolfpack, again minus Sting, with something to say. Nash and Konnan do their catchphrases before Luger, with a goatee, says Sting is on his way to the arena for their tag match tonight. Nash says that unlike the Black and White, they have no leader. He announces the Wolfpack’s team for WarGames and to no surprise, it’s Sting, Luger and Nash.

That brings Nash to last week when DDP and Page got involved in Wolfpack business. Page has until next week to make a decision and Piper will be dealt with if he gets involved again. Nash also tells a story about a warrior sitting under a tree and waking up to see himself surrounded by wolves. The warrior tried to touch one of them and was eaten. The moral: if you don’t run with the pack, you’re being hunted. Not bad actually.

After a break, JJ Dillon is in the ring and asks Arn Anderson to come out for an off the record talk. Arn comes out to a WE WANT FLAIR chant as JJ talks about having to disassociate himself with the Horsemen when he joined the executive committee. However the other night he was watching an old tape and wants us to look at it.

We see an old promo of Arn Anderson talking about all the talent coming into the Mid-Atlantic area. Lots of people have wanted to come here and it’s been because of Gene and Ole Anderson. Well now the greatest Anderson of all time is here. He’s looking for guys like Dusty Rhodes, Ricky Steamboat and Magnum TA because he does it better than anyone else. That was probably from 1984.

Back live JJ talks about watching that promo many years ago and seeing something in Anderson. Arn became the heart and soul of the Horsemen. Over the years, JJ knew that WCW would be ok as long as the Horsemen were alive. However he’s seen the NWO factions take away a piece of the Horsemen at a time. Then he saw Chris Benoit and Steve McMichael ask Arn to restart the team, only to be told they don’t get it. Well JJ thinks Arn doesn’t get it and here are Mongo and Benoit to back him up.

They talk to Arn without microhones but Arn is shaking his head no. The fans chant WE WANT FLAIR as Arn starts to levae. JJ stops him and Arn is looking confused. JJ asks where Anderson is going and Arn asks why they’re doing this to him. Dillon never thought he would say this but he thinks Arn is afraid of all this. Anderson leaves to end this awesome segment. There’s something special here but since it’s WCW I’m just waiting for them to screw it up.

Hour #2 begins.

The announcers talk about what we just saw and Tony talks about Bischoff holding the Horsemen down. This transitions into a discussion of Eddie Guerrero asking to be released.

We look at Guerrero saying he wanted out of his contract and throwing coffee on himself. Bischoff is holding Eddie to his contract though.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Brian Adams

Before the match we get the Warrior signal again and Warrior is seen in the rafters. Eddie lounges on the top rope before the bell and then lays down on the mat. Adams won’t cover so Eddie gets on his knees and asks Adams to hit him. Brian towers over him even when Eddie is on his feet. Adams pulls back to hit him a few times but then throws him into the corner for some right hands. Guerrero isn’t fighting back at all. A hiptoss puts Eddie down and he lays there to be pinned. Adams puts his foot on Eddie’s chest for the easy pin. Storyline advancement.

Post match Eddie says Bischoff may have the power but he’s not going to be able to sue Eddie like he has other people.

We look at Ernest Miller turning heel on Thunder.

The Cat vs. Riggs

Riggs takes him into the corner to start and grabs a headlock before cranking on the arm. A dropkick, the only move Riggs is good at, sends Cat to the floor followed by a plancha. Back in and Cat pokes him in the eye and superkicks Riggs down. A big kick to the face puts Riggs down again and Cat talks a lot of trash. Two straight running spin kicks are enough to pin Riggs in a short match.

Post match Miller grabs the mic and says not to hate him because he’s beautiful. He’s the best wrestler and a three time world karate champion. No one can stop him, including all of the fans. Moving on.

Nitro Girls and it’s back to the Nitro Party.

Konnan vs. Marty Jannetty

Konnan takes him down to start and hits the rolling clothesline before pulling on his pants a lot. The low dropkick sets up a rolling armbar which isn’t broken even when Marty is in the ropes. Back up and Jannetty superkicks Konnan to take over but doesn’t immediately follow up. A jumping back elbow gets two and Marty stalls some more.

Marty puts on a chinlock and Russian legsweeps Konnan down for no cover. Jannetty stomps away and walks around a bit before putting on another chinlock. After that eats up some time, a clothesline gets two on Konnan. A neck snap across the top rope and a top rope cross body get the same and Marty is mad. Back up and Konnan grabs a quick X-Factor and the Tequila Sunrise is good for the submission out of nowhere.

Rating: C. Better match than you would have expected here, even though it needed to be about a minute shorter. Marty could still put on a decent match when he had the time and that’s what he got here. Konnan barely had any offense until the ending which is a WCW tradition that I’m getting tired of.

Here’s the Flock. Lodi makes Saturn carry a sign (“I’m With Lodi”) and they’re flanked by Kanyon and Raven. Before the match, Raven says Saturn isn’t allowed to touch himself or Kanyon tonight before telling Kanyon to break Saturn. Kanyon makes fun of Saturn’s military background and dares Saturn to hit him but Saturn stands him ground. Saturn doesn’t do it and is disgusted with himself.

Lodi/Saturn vs. High Voltage

Robbie starts with Lodi and the sign guy is easily shoved down. Saturn tells him to do something so Lodi bounces off of Rage. Now it’s Saturn’s turn but he’s clotheslined down as well. He’ll have none of that though and suplexes Rage down. Lodi immediately wants in but sees Kaos, sending Lodi right back to the corner for the tag to Saturn. Kaos gets kicked in the corner but a blind tag brings in Rage for an overhead belly to belly suplex. Back to Kaos for a hard clothesline but Saturn fights off both guys in lime green. The Death Valley Driver puts Rage down and Lodi tags himself in and steals the pin.

Rating: D+. This was angle advancement and there’s nothing wrong with that. I’m not wild on Kanyon joining the Flock but it’s nice to go somewhere in this story instead of just doing the same stuff over and over again. Lodi is entertaining too so having him on TV is another good thing.

Here’s DDP to open the third hour. He brags about Tom’s River, New Jersey winning the Little League World Series as a team. They took everyone’s talent and put them together into a team, just like Piper, Warrior and himself will do at Fall Brawl. They’ll take care of the NWO and Hollywood Scum Hogan in particular. Page brings out Piper who goes on a rant about Bret being a rookie and claiming to be Piper’s cousin.

Roddy says he has no family and rambles about Bret facing some guy named John in Toronto. Bret followed him around like a little puppy for years before becoming a Triple Crown Champion in the WWF. Hogan is conning Bret for everything he’s got and Bret is just as scared as he was before that match in Toronto. This brings out Giant but Page pounds away on him. Giant knocks both WCW guys down and chokes Page until security breaks it up. I still don’t get why Giant isn’t in WarGames.

Here’s Scott Steiner with his doctor. Steiner brags about his prowess with the ladies but is annoyed that JJ won’t believe him about the injuries. Apparently Steiner’s doctor has brought in another doctor named Juju Youbangee, which is Buff Bagwell dressed like a Jamacian. Buff’s accent comes and goes before he throws some powder on Scott. The fans think this is bull as Buff declares Steiner healed. Scott says he loves the voodoo that he do and promises to beat Rick up at Fall Brawl. Rick comes in from behind and clears the ring. Warrior and his signal pop up again to close the segment. This was so bizarre it was entertaining.

Cruiserweight Title: Juventud Guerrera vs. Evan Karagias

Juvy is defending. Feeling out process to start with a shoulder block sending Evan to the mat. The fans are paying attention to something off camera as Evan gorilla presses Juvy throat first onto the top rope. Juvy comes back with a springboard dropkick and some chops but charges into a powerslam for two. Now the fans are looking at something else as, Evan dropkicks him to the floor. Back in and Evan hooks a chinlock as the fans get distracted for the third time.

Juvy sends him to the floor to escape and comes back in with a guillotine legdrop but hurts his own back in the process. Evan is up at two and avoids a charge in the corner to put Juvy down again. Karagias goes after the knee as the fans chant Goldberg. Heenan yells at Evan for letting go of a half crab, allowing Juvy to put on a chinlock. The fans are AGAIN looking at something else and chanting what sounds like “take it off!”.

Evan slams Juvy down and goes up but gets crotched, allowing Juvy to hit a top rope hurricanrana. Now it’s Juvy getting crotched as the fans are booing something other than the match. Evan hits a top rope hurricanrana of his own for two but misses a top rope Lionsault. Guerrera hits the Juvy Driver to finally retain.

Rating: B-. I feel sorry for these guys as they were having a very good match and the fans were looking at about five other things instead. Karagias looked good out there and hung with Juvy every step of the way. Juvy continues to be as good of a high flier not named Mysterio as there is in the company.

Nitro Girls/Nitro Party. Jim Duggan is there too.

TV Title: Chris Jericho vs. Disco Inferno

Jericho is defending. Disco now has a sweatband. Chris runs him over with a shoulder and does a little shuffle. Disco comes right back with a clothesline and sends Jericho into the corner for some stomping. Tony calls a slam a tilt-a-whirl slam for no apparent reason but Jericho avoids a fist drop.

The Lionsault hits knees and an atomic drop sends Chris face first into the corner. A clothesline and spinebuster get two each and Heenan is impressed with Jericho. Jericho comes back with a German suplex but walks into the Chartbuster for two as Jericho gets his foot on the ropes. Disco charges again but gets caught in the Liontamer for the win.

Rating: C. Much better match than I was expecting here with Disco using his basic offense very well. Jericho continues to be one of the most awesome things on the roster but for whatever political reasons, he’s stuck fighting guys in the lower card and stealing the show every time.

Kevin Nash sits in on commentary for the next match.

WCW World Title: Goldberg vs. Al Green

Nash mentions that Green was his original partner in WCW, which was in a tag team called the Master Blasters. He also wouldn’t mind a shot at the world title. Green looks like a bald Scott Norton and jumps Goldberg to start. The choking and forearms have almost no effect as Goldberg drives him down to the mat. A backdrop and slam put Green down and he bails to the floor as Goldberg loads up the spear. Smart guy. Goldberg sends him into the post and back inside it’s the two moves to retain the title.

Hollywood Hogan/Bret Hart vs. Sting/Lex Luger

Bret and Luger get things going with the American grabbing a headlock. Bret comes back with right hands and choking in the corner but Luge rams him into the buckle to take over. A tag brings in Sting and Bret immediately runs to Hogan for a tag. Hogan fires off right hands but Sting shrugs them off and sends Hollywood into the buckle before tagging Luger back in. Choking puts Lex down in the corner and it’s back to Bret for some Canadian choking. We even get an eye rake across the ropes for good measure.

Hogan holds Luger in the corner so Bret can choke even more before choking from the apron. You may be noticing a pattern in the offense here. The heels keep switching without tagging like good villains are supposed to do. Bret hooks a chinlock but gets suplexed down to give Luger a breath.

No hot tag yet though as Hart makes a save, only to have a double clothesline put both guys down again. Now we get the tag to Sting who cleans house on Hogan, only to have Disciple shove Hogan away from the Stinger Splash. Hogan starts whipping Sting with the weightlifting belt but Bret pulls it away. Hart leaves but Hogan goes after him for an argument in the aisle, leading to a countout.

Rating: C-. The match was nothing special but we get yet another twist in the storyline. It’s nice for Bret to FINALLY have something going on, even though it’s rather confusing. I’m not buying into the NWO tension because it’s happened roughly 847 times now in the last two years but never leads anywhere.

Bret and Hogan shove each other in the ring as some smoke starts. It’s too early apparently as it cuts off, only to start up a few moments later. The lights go out as more smoke comes into the ring. They come back on and everyone is out cold with Warrior in the ring. So it’s sleeping gas, which doesn’t work on Warrior for some reason? Or Hogan apparently as he runs to the back to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This wasn’t the worst show ever, but Warrior vs. Hogan is shaping up to be the stupidest feud in a long time. But hey, Hogan’s ego can be repaired so who cares if he stops WCW from being the top company in wrestling again? I’d love to hear some of the creative meetings. “So you see, Warrior has this Bat Signal and sleeping gas that doesn’t work on him and Hogan and then Hogan beats him in the blowoff match using the powers of Hollywood-A-Mania. Great idea right?” As usual the midcard helps bring the show through, but the main event guys drag it right back down.

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Monday Nitro – August 24, 1998: An Actually Good Ending

Monday Nitro #151
Date: August 24, 1998
Location: United Center, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 17,094
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone, Larry Zbyszko

We’re closing in on Fall Brawl and the main event is coming into focus a little bit more. The main story coming into tonight ties into the PPV as Warrior is promising to begin a revolution tonight, whatever that means. He’s officially on DDP’s team to face Hogan and Hart for the Black and White and whoever is on the Wolfpack’s team. This three team stuff with one winner idea for WarGames is annoying. Let’s get to it.

We open with a black limo arriving with the Black and White coming out. It’s just Hogan, Bischoff, Liz and Disciple here and we get a long tracking shot of them coming all the way into the arena. Once they’re finally in the ring, Eric holds up a pen and says it’s what lets him keep in charge of WCW and the NWO. He ran Vader and Johnny B. Badd out of WCW and he’ll keep anyone he wants out as well.

Hogan takes the mic and talks about how he owns the world of wrestling and is more powerful than anyone. He can’t wait to get in the ring at WarGames and take everyone out one by one. Hogan promises to take the title back from Goldberg for awhile and that’s that. Shortest opening segment in a long time.

Opening sequence.

Mike Enos vs. Wrath

Enos fires in some knees in the corner but Wrath shrugs them off and chops away in the corner. They head outside with Enos being sent into the barricade and chopped even more. Wrath throws him back inside for a slingshot clothesline for two but Enos comes back with a powerslam for the same. Mike shoulders him in the corner but misses a second attempt. Wrath’s Meltdown (pumphandle powerslam) is good for the pin in a short match.

We look at part of Warrior’s speech last week, leading into the announcers talking about WarGames.

The Nitro Girls dance in the crowd.

Nitro Party winner.

Kaz Hayashi vs. Dean Malenko

The announcers immediately start talking about the Horsemen, despite most of the team losing almost every major match they’ve had in the last few weeks. Dean takes Kaz down by the arm and grabs the leg before putting on a reverse chinlock. Off to a headlock on Hayashi but he comes back with a knee to the ribs and a quick running senton. Dean easily takes him back down and puts on a figure four around the neck as we take a break.

Back with Dean winning a quick slugout but being sent to the floor. Kaz hits a very nice corkscrew plancha and gets two off a German suplex back inside. Hayashi goes up but his moonsault hits knees. A leg lariat (clearly misses Kaz by about six inches) sets up the Tiger Bomb and the Cloverleaf to give Dean the win.

Rating: C. Not a terrible match though I have no idea why they needed a break in there. Kaz was another in a long list of talented cruiserweights who got lost in the crowd despite being able to put on good matches. Malenko looked a bit off tonight but when you’re as sharp as he is most of the time you can miss once in awhile.

Video on the Wolfpack.

Here’s the Wolfpack minus Sting with something to say. After the catchphrases, Nash talks about Hogan running his mouth week in and week out, even though he can’t run with them. Nash says if Hogan wants a war, he’s got one. He talks about coming here for a war two years ago and his goal is to run the company. If he has to run off Hogan and Bischoff and become world champion to do it, then that’s what he’ll do. That brings him to Goldberg who has speared him twice in a row now.

After the first time, they had a beer and everything was cool. The second time there was no beer so everything isn’t cool. However, if Goldberg wants to make things right, he can team up with Nash tonight against someone whose names are cut off by Goldberg’s music. We get the long walk from the back to continue a motif tonight. Goldberg comes to the ring and says he’ll team up with Nash if that’s what Nash wants. Nash wants Hogan and Giant tonight.

Konnan vs. Jim Neidhart

Konnan went to the back during the break and comes out again for reasons I still don’t understand. A headbutt puts Neidhart down as Tenay explains what Arriaba La Raza means. Konnan grabs an armbar but Neidhart fights up and clotheslines Konnan to take over. Neidhart’s straps come down, making his back rakes all the more vicious. A middle rope knee drop only hits the mat though and the Tequila Sunrise gives Konnan a fast win.

Tony brings out Stevie Ray for a chat about the Black and White surrounding him at the end of Thunder. Stevie won’t comment on what they were saying to him but he’ll deal with the Giant in due time. As for the TV Title, Stevie is coming for Jericho soon but here’s an angry Booker T for his return. Booker says he’s been out of the country healing so he could come back and give the fans 110%. He can’t even leave his house to get his paper without people asking him about Stevie Ray.

Booker worked hard to get the TV Title and would like an explanation from Stevie about the title. Stevie says he defended the title because it got between the team. Booker was out for six months (it’s been like two) and Stevie did what he had to do. Tony informs Stevie that Booker is the #1 contender to Bret Hart’s US Title, ticking Stevie off. Booker says he’s coming for the title and wants Stevie to have his back.

Nitro Girls.

After a break Tony is in the ring and calls out DDP. He has a pen of his own and wants to shove it through Bischoff’s ear. Page runs down Hogan as usual and says if someone wants to step up as the third member of Team WCW, do it right now. This brings out Roddy Piper and I cringe a little bit inside.

Piper praises Page for doing a good job lately while he’s been in Hollywood. While he was out there, Piper heard people at Time Warner making fun of Bischoff’s power trips. Piper says he’s the only man that Bischoff can’t fire before implying Hogan and Bischoff are women. He’ll join Page in WarGames and promises to get Warrior to join them. Wasn’t he on the team already?

Hour #2 begins.

Steve McMichael vs. Riggs

Mongo takes him into the corner but Riggs actually takes over and stomps him down into the corner. McMichael is sent out to the floor and taken down by a clothesline from the apron as this has been one sided so far. Back in and the announcers talk about Saturn vs. Raven with the Flock’s freedom vs. Saturn being back in the Flock as the stakes. A dropkick puts Mongo down again and Riggs stomps away at the chest.

We hit the chinlock on Mongo who slaps the mat like he’s tapping but the referee says nothing. McMichael fights up but a knee to the ribs drops him again. Riggs mocks the Horsemen sign and avoids an elbow as Mongo can’t get anything going. A boot in the corner stops a charging Riggs and it’s a pair of three point tackles and the tombstone to give Mongo the win. Those were the only major offensive moves he hit all match.

Rating: D. This was basically a Riggs squash until the last thirty seconds. The Horsemen losing nearly every match they’re in sounds like something Bischoff would be behind to bury the team even further, because why would he care if the fans keep chanting for Flair? Granted having Mongo in there isn’t helping anyone. The guy just isn’t that good.

Post match Horace blasts Mongo in the head with the stop sign and the beating is on until Malenko makes the save. Saturn comes out as well but is quickly sent back outside, leaving Mongo and Malenko to hold up the Horsemen sign.

More Nitro Girls, this time in leather.

Scott Norton vs. Rick Fuller

They trade chops in the corner as Fuller has already survived longer than anyone has against Norton in weeks. Norton comes back with a Samoan drop but gets kicked in the face, only to pop back up and chop it out again. Scott blasts him in the face to take over again and a powerbomb is enough to end Fuller.

Here’s Scott Steiner with his doctor to make fun of Chicago and Michael Jordan. The doctor says Steiner can’t wrestle tonight but Scott wants Rick out here right now. This of course brings out Buff Bagwell dressed as Rick as the crowd can be heard groaning. Scott offers a doggie treat to get out of the fight, causing Buff to roll over and play dead for the pin.

Lex Luger vs. Brian Adams

They finally lock up after about a minute of stalling before taking their time with some lockups. Luger grabs a headlock as Heenan defends Bischoff for reasons of general weaselness. Luger sends Adams to the floor with some posing as the stalling continues. Back in and Luger hiptosses Adams down but a Vincent distraction lets Brian get in a right hand to take over. Luger is kicked to the floor and sent into the steps for two before it’s off to a headscissor choke from Adams.

Back up and Luger is whipped into the corner but comes back with right hands to a big reaction. Not that it matters though as Adams suplexes him down and puts on a nerve hold. Another comeback is thwarted by a gorilla press gutbuster for two but Adams misses a knee drop. The clotheslines and forearms are good for two, followed by a powerslam and the Torture Rack for the submission.

Rating: D+. Slightly better than the previous match but that’s mainly because the fans were more into the hometown Luger. The match was again close to a squash until the comeback at the end which doesn’t make for the most interesting match in the world. Adams getting this high of a spot on the card continues to astound me.

More clips of Warrior from last week.

Here’s Warrior to talk about how the Revolution that starts tonight. He talks about emulating the best in any field, such as when he emulated Hogan as champion. Warrior rants about Hogan selling out to mediocrity and self pity which is the most coherent thing he’s said in a long time. He does get in a good line by saying Hogan went from being one in a million to being one of the millions.

After pausing for no reason in particular, Warrior asks for patience before he takes out Hogan. Tonight is the beginning of the One Warrior Nation Revolution, which means he’ll destroy Hogan. A revolution isn’t based on cowardice and that’s all Hogan needs to know. I have no idea what this was supposed to accomplish.

Hour #3 begins.

TV Title: Chris Jericho vs. Curt Hennig

Jericho is defending and takes over a minute to get down the aisle due to jawing with fans about their signs. He takes one away and kicks it, falling flat on his face in a funny moment. Feeling out process to start with Hennig grabbing the hair and stopping a takedown attempt. Curt: “Two points!” They jockey for position until Henig goes to the ropes for a breather.

Jericho slaps him in the face, sending Hennig into a frenzy of headbutts and chops. Chris chops him into the corner as this gets very physical all of a sudden. Now it’s Hennig with chops of his own, setting up the Hennig neck snap for no cover. Jericho comes back with a spinning kick to the chin and some choking in the corner.

Curt takes out the knee to send Jericho outside for even more chops, only to have Jericho take him back inside to kick at Hennig’s legs. A springboard dropkick sends Hennig outside and a middle rope version of the same move drops Curt inside. Hennig misses a dropkick and gets caught in the Liontamer but Hennig is right next to the ropes. The PerfectPlex is countered into a small package for two and they slug it out as the time limit expires at…..6:10? At least make it close people.

Rating: C+. I was digging the heck out of this match with both guys working hard out there. Jericho seems like the kind of guy that would have a blast working with a guy like Hennig and he was on his game tonight. Really fun match which shows what happens when guys work hard. The lack of time makes me sad for a change.

Hennig gets the better of Jericho and here’s Giant for the double team, but Giant shoves Hennig down instead to save the Canadian. Curt is furious.

More Nitro Girls.

Booker T asks Stevie to have his back tonight but Stevie sounds mad.

US Title: Bret Hart vs. Booker T

Bret is defending. Before the match Bret grabs a mic and says he’s tired of being told he used to be a nice guy. The fans are the ones that have corrupted the heroes, which is why Bret went to the one man he could trust: Hulk Hogan. However, there’s a problem in the form of Sting. Bret says Sting is his buddy, so how can he pick between Sting and Hogan. The fans are to blame for his problems though.

Booker’s music plays but he never shows up. We go to a break and come back to see Stevie standing over a fallen Booker and saying Booker and JJ Dillon turned their backs on him. Stevie comes into the arena to take Booker’s place but yells at Bret instead of fighting him. Bret denies having anything to do with the attack as the NWO comes out with a shirt. Bret says there’s no reason for Stevie to take his frustrations out on him before offering Stevie a spot on the team. Since Stevie is a midcard guy who is starting to get some traction, he accepts.

Hollywood Hogan/The Giant vs. Goldberg/Kevin Nash

After about five minutes of entrances, we finally get down to Nash vs. Giant but the fans are all over Hogan. Giant shoves him into the corner to start but Nash avoids a big forearm. A headbutt staggers Kevin back and a big boot drops him to the mat. Giant misses an elbow though and Nash hits the framed elbow in the corner. Both guys hit clotheslines at the same time with no one going anywhere so they both hit big boots to drop the other.

It’s off to Goldberg vs. Hogan with the champion shoving Hogan down over and over. Hogan gets in some knees to the ribs and chokes to take over but Goldberg shrugs off being rammed into the buckle. A few shoulder blocks put Hogan down but Disciple hits Goldberg in the back with the title belt to change the moment. Hogan chokes away in the corner while Nash and Giant go at it on the floor (Tony calls it double teaming because he’s not that bright) as Hennig and Disciple come in for the no contest.

Rating: D+. This was more spectacle than match and that’s fine for the most part. They’re clearly setting up the idea of the team battle at Fall Brawl which is more than you usually get out of a Nitro main event. I’d still like to see Giant pin Nash just one time to make up for the last nine months or so but I can’t imagine it happening.

Luger and Konnan come out to even the odds until Goldberg and Hennig are the only ones left. Goldberg spears him down and Jackhammers him for the pin as this turns into an ECW show for a few seconds. Nash accidentally knees Goldberg in the face and Giant sends him to the floor as Warrior, Page and Piper come out to clean house and stand tall. Goldberg and Nash have a staredown to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. That was a really strong ending actually with an actual focus for a change. It’s not really surprising that WCW was actually winning a bit at this time with WarGames coming up and the Warrior offering something interesting. Unfortunately at some point he has to actually wrestle and it was all going to come down. Anyway though, less bad show than usual but all the nonsense earlier on brings down a good last hour.

 

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XWF Episode 2 – They Have To Take The Up Escalator To Get To Terrible

XWF Episode 2
Date: November 13, 2001
Location: Universal Studios, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Tony Schiavone

The debut episode of this show was, shall we say, horrible. Unfortunately there’s no time between the tapings to fix those things as these episodes were all taped in a two day span. The only good thing that could come out of this would be those wrestlers aren’t likely to work again on this show…unless those guys were their best. In that case I might be in the need of a well crafted noose. Let’s get to it.

Hart and Knobbs hype up the second episode and recap the first. We need a recap for a show that was on the same DVD set as this one?

This week’s episode opens with another recap of last week’s episode.

Juventud Guerrera/Psychosis vs. Ray Gonzalez/Konnan

Gonzalez is a big deal in Puerto Rico and I’m sure you know everyone else. Konnan and Psychosis get us going with Konnan taking him down four times in a row including twice by armdrags before bringing in Gonzalez. Ray tries to drop down but Guerrera drops an elbow on the back, only to have Gonzalez pop back up and choke Juvy to the mat. Guerrera comes back with a LOUD spinwheel kick before Psychosis comes back in for a double dropkick.

Psychosis gets two off a legdrop and Juvy gets the same off a springboard version of the same move. Ray comes back with an enziguri to Juvy and it’s hot tag to Konnan who speeds things up. A DDT puts Psychosis down and a double hiptoss gets two on Juvy. Guerrera comes right back with the Juvy driver to Ray but Konnan breaks up the 450, allowing Gonzalez to hit a swinging neckbreaker on Guerrera for the pin.

Rating: D+. I think the match had the potential to be good but it went by so fast that I could barely tell. This match needed to be about twice as long for the story they were trying to tell which has been the problem for a lot of the matches that this promotion has had so far. It’s ok to give a match more than four minutes and letting it develop.

That’s enough wrestling so here’s Rena Mero (Sable) flanked by security with something to say. She talks about how great this company can be but Gene interrupts her to ask about Roddy Piper overstepping his boundaries in the Hennig vs. Vampiro match last week. Cue Roddy to defend himself (I think, as his music drowns out the start of his speech) and say he’s taken many things into his own hands but Sable hasn’t been one of them…..yet.

She says Piper promised to avoid getting physical but thinks there might be a fire burning under his kilt. Piper rants about something the audio doesn’t pick up until Vampiro comes in. He thanks Sable for her confidence in the locker room’s abilities and Sable says make the most of it. One more thing: Sable wants Piper to hire Josh Matthews from Tough Enough, which gets a pop for some reason. Piper is cool with the idea and makes Matthews vs. Vampiro.

Big Vito wants to fight the best in the XWF.

The South Philly Posse (Public Enemy) walks past a bus stop and hits on a woman who is clearly a hooker.

The announcers talk for a bit until Simon Diamond comes out to yell at Jerry Lawler for his comments about Simon last week. Those comments were so quick that I don’t even remember them but apparently they were about Dawn Marie not having any class. Simon insults Lawler’s chick named Kitten and we’ve got a match.

Jerry Lawler vs. Simon Diamond

Lawler takes him into the corner for right hand but Johnny Swinger runs in for a double team. Jerry gets double teamed but Simon hits Swinger by mistake. Lawler cleans house and piledrives Simon for the pin in about 90 seconds. Again, less than nothing.

Sonny Onoo has a guy named Vapor. These vignettes are maybe ten seconds each.

Hail vs. Knuckles

Knuckles is a jobber who hasn’t seemed to fight anywhere of note other than in the XWF. Corner splash, modified belly to belly superplex, shoulder breaker, legdrop, Hail wins.

AJ Styles promises to prove he’s the best cruiserweight in the XWF. If you think he’s a country hick now, you would be blown away here. He sounds like a guy imitating a country wrestler.

Knobs and Hart recap the other half of last week’s show.

Horace and Greg Valentine are ticked off that they’re not on the card tonight. They complain to Piper who makes Horace vs. Josh Matthews next week.

Johnny B. Badd vs. Norman Smiley

Badd is way slimmer than he was in his WWF days. Smiley shoulder blocks him down and follows up with a hiptoss before stopping for a dance. Badd comes back with a headlock takeover of his own but stops to pose, allowing Norman to score with some uppercuts in the corner. A slam and clothesline drop Johnny for two and we hit the chinlock.

Jerry talks about Norman having a match last week, even though this is the first match we’ve seen him have. Badd fights up but Norman clotheslines him right back down. A delayed butterfly suplex gets two for Norman and it’s off to an abdominal stretch on the mat. Back up and Badd easily picks Norman up for the TKO and the pin.

Rating: D+. I’m having a hard time coming up with stuff to say about these matches. Norman was doing his best amateur and technical stuff out there but Badd literally did nothing but basic moves before hitting the TKO for the win. Nothing to see here, which should be the motto of this company rather than In Your Face.

Drezden is still coming.

Nasty Boys vs. Shane Twins

Since it was SO interesting last week. Actually there are no Nastys but here are some replacements.

Shane Twins vs. Road Warriors

The Warriors jump the Twins to start and again the audio issues flare up as we can’t hear the commentary over the ring noise. Mike and Animal get things going with Animal breaking out of a wristlock and clotheslining Mike down. Off to Hawk for some loud chops which send Mike out to the floor. The fans are entirely behind the LOD here but Mike gets Hawk to chase him back inside and suplexes him down for two.

Hawk is sent shoulder first into the post and out to the floor on his head. Back in and Todd forearms Hawk down for two and pounds away in the corner. Hawk staggers out and collides with Todd to put both guys down, setting up a double tag to Animal and Mike. Animal easily beats up both Shane Twins by himself and there’s the Doomsday Device to Mike but the Nasty Boys hit the ring and pull out the referee for the DQ.

Rating: C-. That’s almost out of pity more than anything else. The match wasn’t anything to see but it’s the longest match of the tapings thus far, running less than four and a half minutes. However, it advances a story and gives us somewhere to go from here so there’s at least something there. It’s going towards Nasty Boys vs. Road Warriors but it’s better than nothing.

The Nasty Boys bail and the Road Warriors raise the Twins’ hands.

Jimmy Snuka and Jimmy Snuka Jr. are here.

Curt Hennig vs. Buff Bagwell

Buff is a face again after doing that mid match heel turn last week. Hennig is sent to the corner so Buff can do his strut while Hennig bails to the floor. Back in and Curt takes Buff into the corner for some loud chops, only to be dropkicked out to the floor. Buff tries to pull him back inside but Curt snaps his throat across the top rope to take over. We hit the nerve hold for a few seconds before it’s off to standard choking.

Buff gets caught in an abdominal stretch but it lasts about ten seconds, just like everything else. A bad looking Boston Crab from Hennig lasts about as long but Bagwell comes back with a jawbreaker and clotheslines. In a bad looking ending, Buff goes to the middle rope for the Blockbuster but Heenan shoves him off the ropes (referee doesn’t care) and into the PerfectPlex (Bagwell’s shoulder was up, referee doesn’t care) for the pin.

Rating: D. WE BROKE FIVE MINUTES!!! Indeed we did but the match sucked. The holds lasting a few seconds at a time got really annoying because there was no reason for Hennig to let them go. He just dropped them like he was playing No Mercy which is stupid in video games and horrible looking in the real world. Horrible looking match.

Post match Vampiro comes out to yell about Heenan but gets beaten down by Curt. Buff makes the save but Ian Harrison comes out to beat up both guys. This brings out Roddy Piper with a chair to make the real save but Sable and her security come out to yell at him to end the show.

Hart and Knobbs wrap it up.

Overall Rating: D-. This show isn’t making me mad, but rather making me wonder how much longer there is to go with it. The show is starting to get some ideas together but none of the ideas are any good. At the end of the day, this is a nostalgia show and not a very good one. These guys weren’t incredibly old at the time, but there was no way they thought this was going to last more than a few months tops. It was somewhat better this time but they had nowhere to go but up.

 

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XWF Episode 1: Ahead Of Its Time…..Kind Of?

XWF Episode #1
Date: November 13, 2001
Location: Universal Studios, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jerry Lawler
Hosts: Jimmy Hart, Brian Knobbs

This is another one I doubt you’ve heard of. Basically about seven months after WCW and ECW folded, Jimmy Hart, Greg Valentine and Brian Knobbs signed up the talent to start a family friendly wrestling promotion to give the guys another place to work. They taped ten TV shows over a two day period but the shows never aired on TV due to Vince signing up a lot of the roster.

The World Wrestling All-Stars would take some of these guys before TNA became a real home for them. These matches are from a three disc DVD set called the Lost Episodes of the XWF. I believe these were supposed to be TV episodes but there’s a chance they’re just random matches thrown together with other clips edited in to add a story. It could be interesting though so let’s get to it.

Before anyone asks, the X stands for either the X-Factor of wrestling, Xcitement or Xtreme depending on who you ask. Also yes, this is the same arena that TNA uses as the Impact Zone.

Since this is a DVD release, Brian Knobbs and Jimmy Hart tell us the company’s backstory. They emphasize that the company was never meant to compete with the WWE but rather to offer an alternative. Their motto was No More Prima Donnas, so they immediately went after Hulk Hogan.

Hulk Hogan is excited to be here and rips his shirt off to prove it.

After a generic rock song intro, Gene Okerlund talks to us about how exciting this is.

Tony introduces us to Jerry Lawler as his surprise commentary partner. The Jerry Lawler Fan Club sign over Tony’s shoulder kind of spoiled things.

The production values are somewhere between mediocre and good with a well built stage but bad lighting.

An old looking Okerlund is in the ring to introduce CEO Rena Mero (Sable) who is nearly falling out of her low cut dress. She gives us the usual WE ARE THE FUTURE AND ALL ABOUT THE WRESTLERS speech that every wrestling promotion gives on its first show. Sable is glad to be here but the board has decided we need a commissioner: Roddy Piper.

We get Piper’s traditional over the top speech about how many of his friends have been ruined by this business and how glad he is that this place is about the wrestlers. We hear about some of the stars of this place: Jimmy Snuka and Greg Valentine. This is going to be a LONG night isn’t it? Piper is glad to have a beautiful lady working with him. She can deal with the money while he deals with the wrestlers. It’s an independence day for wrestling.

Gene Simmons of KISS is with the Demon of WCW 2000 fame. Ok then.

Big Vito vs. Buff Bagwell

The first bell rings nearly fifteen minutes into this show. Before the match we get comments from the Nasty Boys: “We’re back!” End of comments. Vito jumps Bagwell to start as Tony confirms this is the debut TV episode (which never aired). Bagwell escapes some choking to come back with armdrags and dropkicks. At least we have a somewhat clear face.

The fans think Bagwell sucks though so who knows what’s going on here. Vito comes back with a boot to the face and a side slam for two but Buff scores with right hands and a backdrop. Bagwell responds to the chants and basically does a mid-match heel turn which isn’t something you see that often. The Blockbuster is broken up with an old fashioned crotching to set up a Vito superplex for two. Not that it matters as the Blockbuster connects for the pin for Buff a few seconds later.

Rating: D. This immediately shows the problem with shows like this (aside from the match being Buff Bagwell vs. Big Vito of course): there’s no story, meaning the match is just two guys doing moves to each other for four minutes. The crowd reactions were interesting as the fans decided they liked Vito instead of Bagwell, but they weren’t enough to make me care about a boring match.

A bunch of cruiserweights go to Roddy Piper’s office and want a chance. Their chance is in a battle royal (with pins and submissions) tonight to become the first Cruiserweight Champion. Great to see those little guys getting their shot.

Marty Jannetty vs. Hail

Hale is a big muscular guy that hung around WCW for years but never did anything. Hail shoves him around to start, hits a weak backbreaker and drops a leg for the pin in less than two minutes.

Maximum Force (Simon and Swinger with Dawn Marie from ECW) will be in our face.

Drezden is coming.

Horace Hogan vs. Ian Harrison

Harrison is a huge muscle guy (notice a theme tonight?) from England. Horace pounds away in the corner but can’t whip him across the ring. Harrison comes back with a powerslam (by a strong guy from Leeds, England who comes out to Rule Britannia? They’re not even hiding the stolen ideas now) and some shots to the head. A bad looking overhead suplex sets up a triangle choke to make Horace tap out.

Johnny B. Badd is back. Egads they thought this was going to be a big deal?

Jimmy Hart and Brian Knobbs hype up the battle royal.

Cruiserweight Title: Battle Royal

Psychosis, Billy Fives, AJ Styles, Juventud Guerrera, Tongan Prince, Quick Kick, Kid Kash, Christopher Daniels

No one gets an entrance and you can be eliminated by pinfall, submission or over the top. Tongan Prince is Prince Iaukea and Quick Kick is Low Ki (they might as well have just called him that all the time. It makes more sense). Daniels has short blonde hair here. It’s a big brawl to start with everyone going after everyone and Tony having no idea who half of these guys are. Styles dumps Billy Fives as Josh Matthews (yes THAT Josh Matthews) is sitting in the crowd. Psychosis is dumped and AJ is LAUNCHED over the top onto Psychosis and Fives.

Low Ki hits some loud kicks to Kash’s head as Daniels kicks Iaukea down in the corner. They trade off with Kash and Low Ki going up top, only to miss stereo dives and collide (kind of) in midair. Daniels and Iaukea try to get in cheap shots but clothesline each other down. Low Ki misses a charge and eliminates himself before Kash (Krash according to Tony) hurricanranas Iaukea out. Kash’s tornado DDT mostly doesn’t connect but it staggers Daniels enough that Kash can hit a springboard kick to eliminate him for the title.

Rating: D. If you ever want an example of a spot fest, this is where you would look. Nothing more to say than that.

Kash invites Josh Matthews to hang out with him in the back. This was right after Matthews had lost the inaugural Tough Enough.

Alice Cooper likes the XWF.

There are XWF Girls. Ok then.

Nasty Boys vs. Shane Twins

You might remember the Shane Twins as the Gymini from 2006 Smackdown. If not, picture twin Rybacks named Todd and Mike. What appears to be a 350lb or so Sags elbows Todd into the Pit Stop from Knobbs. Todd comes back with some suplexes before tagging in Mike. A double flapjack gets two on Knobbs and everything breaks down. Sags is sent to the floor as Knobbs beats on Mike in the corner, only to charge into a clothesline to give the Shanes what is supposed to be an upset win.

The Road Warriors come out to chase the Nastys off and issue them a challenge.

Jim Duggan is on Willie Nelson’s tour bus….and that’s all for that scene.

Vampiro talks about getting shortchanged over the years.

Vampiro vs. Curt Hennig

Hennig has an agent by the name of Bobby Heenan, who does Curt’s entrance as only he could. Vampiro hits a quick kick to the chest to start and follows Hennig into the corner with a clothesline. Heenan talks to his client on the floor and it’s Curt coming back with knee lifts and chops in the ring. The neck snap keeps Vampiro in trouble but he comes back with a belly to back suplex and a top rope spinwheel kick for two. Heenan loads up a foreign object but Piper is out maybe half a second later to take it away and blast Hennig. The Nail in the Coffin ends Hennig in less than three minutes.

Sable, Piper and Vampiro pose to end the show.

Knobbs and Hart dedicate the show to the late Hennig and Hawk. Egads what a horrid tribute.

Overall Rating: D-. Oh this is bad. I understand what they were going for here but it bombed badly. This is something that might possibly have a chance of surviving in modern times with video on demand or a DVD release, but having all these guys who were way past their primes at this point with not great production values wasn’t going to work. The longest match was maybe five minutes long and there were no stories anywhere in sight until the very end. I’d give this promotion a month if this had been the pilot episode, but maybe the next two will get better.

 

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Royal Rumble Count-Up – 1992: WOO!

Royal Rumble 1992
Date: January 19, 1992
Location: Knickerbocker Arena, Albany, New York
Attendance: 17,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

This year’s Rumble is often called the greatest ever, but I wonder how much of that is because of Bobby Heenan’s masterful commentary. The WWF Title is on the line in the Rumble, which to date (2012) is the only time this has ever happened. I could see that being a really good stipulation again, but for some reason it never has again. I remember loving this show so let’s get to it.

We start with the usual listing of most of the people in the Rumble, all of whom are #1 contenders I suppose.

Heenan is betting on Flair for tonight’s Rumble. Also we’ve got a NEW Intercontinental Champion as Mountie has beaten Bret Hart over the weekend. Now there’s something you don’t see everyday.

Orient Express vs. New Foundation

It’s Owen/Neidhart as the Foundation here. Owen and Kato start thing off here. All four guys look like they’re in pajamas here. Owen takes him down to the mat by the arm before climbing up the ropes (not in the corner mind you but just the ropes) to backflip into the ring for an armdrag. A rana puts Kato down and it’s off to Neidhart vs. Tanaka. Tanaka gets run over as well, so here’s Owen to beat him up.

Tanaka gets caught by an enziguri and it’s back to Neidhart. The Express gets clotheslined down by Jim and Owen adds a double cross body for two. A spinwheel kick gets the same for Hart so Kato tries to come in sans tag. The distraction lets Fuji hit Owen with the cane to finally give the Express control. Tanaka hooks a chinlock as this isn’t exactly as fast paced as last year’s opener.

Owen gets to do Bret’s chest to the buckle bump before charging into a superkick in the other corner for two. After Kato comes in and does nothing, here’s Tanaka again for a headbutt to the abdomen. A chinlock goes nowhere but a headbutt gets two on Owen. Neidhart gets the tag but the referee doesn’t see it of course. The distraction allows Fuji to put the cane on the corner and Owen’s shoulder goes through it in a loud crunch.

It only gets two though as Owen gets a leg over the rope. Kato channels his inner Anderson with a hammerlock slam before it’s back to Tanaka. Owen finally escapes and things break down for a bit, resulting in a double clothesline for two on Hart. A superkick to the chest doesn’t put Owen down, but Tanaka jumping over Kato to land on Hart’s back does. Hart comes back with a dropkick to take out both members of the Express at once. There’s the hot tag to Neidhart and house is cleaned. Owen dives onto Kato before a Rocket Launcher gets the pin on Tanaka.

Rating: B-. Decent match here but it felt like they were trying to do the same match that worked so well in 1991. The problem was the Express wasn’t anything that good anymore and the team was gone almost immediately after this. Either way, the match wasn’t bad and it’s fine for an opener. The New Foundation never quite did anything until 1994 when Owen was a heel.

We get a clip from the house show where Mountie won the IC Title from Bret. Post match he kept beating on Bret but Roddy Piper came out for the save.

Jimmy and Mountie brag about winning the title. Mountie is ready for Piper tonight.

Piper is ready for Mountie and tells Mountie to just try to take his manhood.

Intercontinental Title: Roddy Piper vs. The Mountie

Piper slowly removes his kilt and Mountie cracks jokes. When the champ turns his head, Piper shoves the kilt in his face and takes over quickly. We head to the floor with Mountie quickly reeling. Back in the ring and Mountie chokes a bit before getting punched in the face. A very delayed bulldog puts Mountie down and Piper easily wins a slugout. He misses a dropkick though and Mountie puts on a half nelson. A jumping back elbow gets two for Mountie as does a sunset flip for Piper. Piper atomic drops him to the apron but Mountie skins the cat. He also collides with Jimmy Hart and the sleeper gives Piper the title.

Rating: D. The match itself sucked but there was never any doubt about this match at all. Mountie is about as textbook a definition of a transitional champion as you’ll ever see and the place went NUTS when Piper won the title. This would be Piper’s only singles title in the WWF and his only title period (other than those before he got to the WWF in the first place) until he won the US Title in WCW for less than two weeks.

Hogan says he has no friends in the Rumble tonight. He talks to Lord Alfred Hayes about tea because Hayes is British and that’s about it.

The Bushwhackers and Jamison…..oh geez it’s him. This is one of the most annoying characters in wrestling history. He’s supposed to be the ultimate nerd, with a nasal voice, taped up glasses, a suit that doesn’t fit, and every other stereotype you can think of. Oh and he smells like sardines apparently. Let’s get this over with.

Beverly Brothers vs. Bushwhackers

This is more about the managers (Genius and Jamison respectively) more than the teams. Jamison chews on his tie as the Whackers do their arm thing to the audience. The Whackers lick each other and Jamison pulls out a roll for a snack. One of the Beverlies slaps Butch in the head so the Beverlies get chased to the floor. We FINALLY get started with Blake vs. Luke with the blonde (the Beverlies) in control.

The Beverly gets bitten on the tights and the Whackers clear the ring again. Jamison throws bread at Genius as the match stalls again. Now Jamison blows his nose in his sock. The fans don’t care at all here. Beau comes in now to beat on Butch but for the third time in like five minutes the Whackers clear the ring again. The Beverlies try to sneak up on the Whackers but keep getting chased off.

Double teaming to Luke’s back finally gets us down to a match, but let’s keep the camera on Jamison. Jamison keeps chewing on his tie as this keeps up the dullness. A guillotine gets two on Luke as we hit the highlight of the match. No seriously, other than that it’s been “comedy” and punching. Genius slaps Jamison to no reaction from anyone at all. A neckbreaker and legdrop hit Luke for no cover. Luke gets away with a move that I’m too bored to remember and it’s off to Butch. Things break down and Beau hits a top rope ax handle on Butch for the pin.

Rating: T. As in The Worst Match In Rumble History. Literally. Up to this point the Rumble has had some dull matches but this was absolutely horrible. There’s nothing of value here at all and it went on for FIFTEEN MINUTES. The Beverlies weren’t even over so this just kept going and going without ever getting anywhere. Absolutely terrible.

Jamison kicks Genius in the shin post match in another moment that gets no reaction.

The LOD says they’ll still have the belts after tonight and the Disasters’ tongues will be hanging out like dead deer. Did I mention Hawk was pretty insane at this point?

Tag Titles: Legion of Doom vs. Natural Disasters

LOD is defending here. Typhoon (formerly Tugboat) and Hawk start things off. They collide a few times with no one going anywhere so Hawk goes up and takes Typhoon down with a top rope clothesline. Off to Quake who Hawk can’t hurt either. A dropkick doesn’t have any effect so Hawk convinces Quake to try one of his own. Guess how well that one goes. Off to Animal for a slugout which is a draw.

Animal starts hitting the ropes and speeds WAY up before they hit a double clothesline to put both guys down. Animal picks up Quake for a slam but can’t turn him over, giving Quake two. Off to Typhoon who gets kicked in the face and clotheslined down. Back to the Bird Man as we get a lot more of the collisions that went over so well earlier. Typhoon finally takes him down and Hawk is in trouble via a lot of back pain.

It’s time for the hallmark of any power match: the bearhug. Quake comes back in and walks over Hawk a few times. Back to the bearhug for a little more time killing until it’s finally back to Animal. Everybody brawls to the floor and it’s a lame double countout. Oh wait Typhoon got back in so the Disasters win. Sure why not.

Rating: D. I love the LOD but this match sucked. At the end of the day, this was the totally wrong matchup for them as their entire offense revolved around throwing people around. This was around the time when Hawk was literally on the verge of a breakdown every day but Vince couldn’t quite convince then to drop the titles, until they did it on a house show which was never aired because LOD didn’t want to lose their heat. It was a different time to say the least.

The Disasters and Hart yell in the back a lot.

Roddy Piper is all fired up about winning the title and dedicates the win to his son Colt. He wants the world title now.

We get a clip from the Barber Shop incident where Shawn turned heel, igniting his singles push in the greatest team split ever.

Ric Flair says he drew #3 but when your name is Ric Flair, that’s not a problem. This is a Coliseum Video exclusive so Heenan doesn’t know yet.

Time for the interviews from people in the Rumble: Savage, Sid, Repo Man, Bulldog, Roberts, Flair (with Perfect talking with him too. You know, because Flair needs someone to talk for him), Undertaker (Bearer talks for him a bit too) and Hogan.

We get a statement from the biggest waste of oxygen that has ever been a boss in wrestling, Jack Tunney. He basically says the winner of this (he forgets the name of the Rumble) is the world champion. As he’s talking, here’s a recap of the title situation. Taker beat Hogan for the title at Survivor Series but Flair interfered. Hogan got a rematch about a week later but also kind of cheated to win it back. The title was vacated and put up for grabs in this year’s Rumble, making it by far the biggest Rumble of all time up to that point.

Royal Rumble

Davey Boy Smith is #1 and DiBiase is #2. The slugout is on quickly with Bulldog pounding away but getting sent to the apron. DiBiase stops paying attention and doesn’t realize that Smith didn’t hit the floor. A clothesline is enough to get rid of DiBiase and leave Bulldog alone in the ring. In at #3: Ric Flair. Heenan: “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!” Gorilla starts listing off stats about how Flair has no chance and Heenan explodes. He says he can’t be objective and you can hear Gorilla roll his eyes.

The gorilla press puts Flair down but he pokes Smith in the eyes to get a breather. It’s only temporary though as Davey clotheslines him down. Jerry Sags is #4 and HE BE CLUBBERIN TONY!!! Smith gets double teamed as Heenan is trying to figure out how long Flair would have to be in the match. Smith comes back with a double clothesline and knocks Sags out. Notice how they’re keeping the ring emptier here, which is a very good change from the 1991 version.

Haku is #5 and he immediately goes after Smith. Flair goes after Haku, sending Heenan into another fit. “HAVE YOU GONE NUTS???” Flair heads to the floor under the rope as Haku hits a piledriver on Smith. Flair goes after Haku again and hits the knee drop. Haku pounds on Ric in the corner but Smith tosses the Tongan. Shawn Michaels is #6 and he starts firing away punches to Flair. A superkick drops Flair and a gorilla press drops Shawn. I’ll let you guess who slammed Michaels.

Flair comes back to drop both guys as Heenan wants a drink. His panic in every line he says is great stuff. Shawn gets caught on the ropes and crotched, followed by Davey throwing him to the apron. Tito Santana is #7 as we get down to a decent tag match, another Rumble tradition. Flair gets Smith to the apron but Tito saves. In far less than two minutes, it’s Barbarian at #8. Heenan: “He doesn’t like anybody. When I managed him he barely liked me!”

Things slow down a bit as Davey keeps getting sent to the apron. Flair tries to dump Tito and Shawn at the same time but can’t get either guy out. Texas Tornado is #9 and Heenan is losing it. “THEY JUST KEEP GETTING BIGGER!” Von Erich goes right after Flair before shifting over to Michaels. Smith slingshots Michaels, who has to jump a LONG way to get to the buckle.

Santana stomps on Flair as Repo Man is #10. Santana hits a cross body on Barbarian and Flair hits Tornado with LOUD chops. Valentine is #11 and he gets in a chopping match with Flair. Shawn is literally hanging on by his feet. Nikolai Volkoff is #12 (Heenan: “A 320lb Lithuanian!” but Repo Man dumps him in about a minute. Apparently he was a sub for Jannetty after the window thing. That makes more sense. While that’s going on, Valentine has Flair in the Figure Four to send Heenan into a new level of panic.

The Boss Man is #13 and he punches everyone in sight. Valentine is out and Shawn starts his goofy selling. Boss Man throws out Repo Man, giving us a current grouping of Von Erich, Michaels, Boss Man, Haku, Santana, Smith and Flair. Flair backdrops Smith out and does the same to Von Erich in just a few seconds. Hercules is #14 as Santana and Shawn eliminate each other.

Barbarian helps Flair with Boss Man, so Flair turns on Barbarian because he, you know, Flair. Hercules dumps Barbarian so Flair dumps Hercules. It’s Boss Man and Flair alone now as Heenan needs oxygen. Boss Man hits a spin kick of all things and a right hand, but misses a charge and eliminates himself. Heenan: “FLAIR WINS!”

Piper is #15 and the crowd is right back into this. We’re clearly into the second stage now and Heenan LOSES IT. Piper backdrops him down and they head to the floor for a bit. Back in and Piper goes old school with an airplane spin, making Bobby want to cry. There’s the sleeper but Jake Roberts is #16. This is when he’s pure evil so the crowd goes into a hush. Jake sits in the corner as Flair is still in the sleeper.

Roberts finally breaks up the hold and works over Piper before hitting the short clothesline o Flair. Piper breaks up the DDT (Heenan: “Oh thank you Piper. It’s not a skirt, it’s a kilt!”) and Flair puts Jake in the Figure Four, only to have Piper stomp away on Ric (Heenan: “YOU NO GOOD DIRTY SKUNK! IT IS A SKIRT!”). Jim Duggan is #17 and he immediately goes after Flair in the corner.

Jake atomic drops Duggan to put all four guys on the mat for a breather. IRS is #18 and he too goes after Flair. Duggan grabs IRS by the tie (Heenan: “He’s got him by the tongue!”) and pounds away. Duggan saves Piper for no apparent reason and Flair gets beaten up some more. Snuka is #19 and for some reason he saves Flair. Snuka headbutts Duggan which has no effect on either guy of course. Flair, ever the grateful guy, pokes Snuka in the eye.

Piper chops Flair half to death in the corner and the Undertaker is #20. At the moment we’ve got Taker, Flair, Piper, Snuka, IRS, Roberts and Duggan in the ring. Taker immediately knocks out Snuka, so Flair goes after the Dead Man. Heenan: “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???” Duggan goes over to Taker and is immediately kicked in the balls. We get one of the major clock issues that would happen throughout the match, as Gorilla says Flair has been in there over 42 minutes. The whole match hasn’t even gone 38 yet and Flair didn’t even start. This will get stretched even farther later.

IRS goes to the middle rope for some reason but hops down a few seconds later. Taker grabs Duggan and Flair by the throat as Randy Savage is #21. Roberts immediately hides on the floor until Taker decks Savage. Randy ducks Jake’s short clothesline and ERUPTS on him, eliminating Roberts via a high knee. Savage screws up by jumping over the top to get to Roberts. Taker goes to the floor and throws him back in, but Savage goes after Jake again. The ruling is that Savage wasn’t thrown to the floor so he’s still in. Ignore Andre eliminating himself in 1989 of course.

Flair comes back with a low blow on Taker which has zero effect at all. Berzerker is #22 and we’ve got IRS, Berzerker, Duggan, Savage, Flair, Piper and Undertaker. Berzerker hits a choke bomb on Savage as Virgil is #23. Everyone goes into one corner of the ring for some reason, with Flair chopping at Taker like a schmuck. Colonel Mustafa (Iron Sheik) is #24. Things slow down a bit as we need someone to come in and clear things out. Rick Martel is #25 and he pounds on the other Ric in the corner.

Savage dumps Mustafa and gets chokes by Taker for his efforts. Hogan is #26 (does he EVER get a bad number?) and he goes right for Taker and Flair. Heenan starts bargaining with God as Martel is sent through the ropes to the floor. Hogan clotheslines Taker out and dumps Berzerker as well. Duggan and Virgil put each other out as the ring clears up a lot. Skinner is #27, giving us Skinner, Hogan, Flair, Piper, Savage, Martel and IRS.

Hogan puts Flair on the apron as Heenan wants another drink. A clothesline puts Flair down again and Sgt. Slaughter is #28. Someone dumps Skinner as Flair officially gets the Rumble record. Sure why not. Sid Justice is #29 and he goes for IRS. Flair pounds on Hogan before shifting over to Sid. Flair pulls Sid to the mat but Sid nips up and clotheslines him down. Warlord is #30, giving us a final grouping of Martel, Piper, Hogan, Flair, Savage, Sid, Slaughter, IRS and Warlord.

Hogan and Flair fight on the floor with Flair getting suplexed. Slaughter gets eliminated by Sid and Hogan kicks Flair down. Piper is sent to the apron by IRS but Piper grabs the tie to eliminate the tax dude. Hogan Hulks Up on Flair but stops to eliminate Warlord with Sid’s help. Justice dumps Martel and Piper, giving us a final four of Savage, Flair, Hogan and Sid. That’s quite a group.

Sid tosses Savage and Flair tries to chop Hogan in the corner because that’s what Ric Flair does. In a famous ending, Hogan punches Flair to the apron but as he’s dumping Ric out, Sid comes up from behind to dump Hulk. Hogan grabs Sid’s arm, allowing Flair to come up from behind and dump Justice, giving Flair the title and send Bobby into orgasmic bliss.

Rating: A. This is Ric Flair’s coming out party in the WWF and it worked perfectly. There are a few down parts to it and while the 1990 edition was more consistently exciting and had a better overall structure, this was all about drama. It also helps that the match actually meant something, as the title was officially on the line. Excellent Rumble and a true surprise to see Flair win the title.

Sid and Hogan have a shoving match post match, setting up their match at Wrestlemania.

Jack Tunney presents an exhausted Flair with the title in the back. Flair gives a victory speech, saying this is the greatest moment in his life. He says this is the only title that means you’re the best in the world and Heenan gushes some more.

Overall Rating: B. This is a hard one to grade because the stuff before the Rumble is HORRIBLE. The Rumble however is a masterpiece with Flair and it more than saves the show. There’s nothing else on the card that you would want to watch, other than maybe the Piper title win if you’re a big fan of the guy. Other than that though, there’s nothing to see here other than the Rumble itself.

Ratings Comparison

New Foundation vs. Orient Express

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Roddy Piper vs. Mountie

Original: B

Redo: D

Beverly Brothers vs. Bushwhackers

Original: F-

Redo: T (For The Worst Match In Rumble History)

Natural Disasters vs. Legion of Doom

Original: D

Redo: D

Royal Rumble

Original: A+

Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: B

Other than Piper, this is almost the same set of ratings.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/11/royal-rumble-count-up-1992/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

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Royal Rumble Count-Up – 1990: He Had to Win It Eventually

Royal Rumble 1990
Date: January 21, 1990
Location: Orlando Arena, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 16,000
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jesse Ventura

We hit the 90s and there’s a bit of a new feel to the company with that new decade. Things are now being made to look a little newer and it’s probably a good thing that they are. Oh and there’s also probably the biggest moment in the Rumble for…..arguably ever actually so there’s that to look forward to. Let’s get to it.

We get the list of almost everyone in the Rumble to start just like last year.

Jesse Ventura in Mickey Mouse Ears is a scary sight.

Buschwhackers vs. Fabulous Rougeaus

We get ALL AMERICAN BOYS for the Rougeaus and Jacques has his MANLY beard. This is a Wrestlemania rematch from the previous year. We start with Butch vs. Ray and while this may sound like a stretch, I think this might be a comedy match. A quick sleeper by Ray is broken up and it’s time to bite the trunks as well as the referee for some reason. The Whackers clear the ring but Jacques hits the floor to avoid the Battering Ram.

Off to Luke vs. Jacques, with Luke taking a bite out of his nose. Jacques says hit me in the face, so Luke charges with a clothesline and hits Ray instead. Things slow down again and the Rougeaus easily distract Luke, allowing Ray to jump him for two. Ray comes in for real and kicks Luke down for two more. Luke is sent to the floor and goes back first into the apron. This match is already dragging.

Back in and Luke bites some more but it doesn’t get him anywhere. Luke gets rammed into the corner a bit, drawing Butch in which allows even more double teaming. We hit the chinlock followed by an abdominal stretch from Jacques. Now it’s off to a reverse chinlock to keep things slow.

We get the Arn Anderson cannonball drop onto a guy on the mat but the guy on the mat gets his knees up to crush Arn’s balls spot, followed by a hot tag to Butch. The Rougeaus are sent into each other and Jimmy Hart gets involved and beaten up. Jacques gets a quick rollup for two and Ray puts a Boston Crab on Butch. With the Rougeaus hugging for some reason, the Battering Ram to the back of Ray is enough for the pin by Butch.

Rating: D+. This was WAY too long at nearly fourteen minutes. The idea behind comedy matches is to keep things quick so that people don’t realize that half of the stuff you see here is stupid. The Rougeaus clearly didn’t care anymore and this would be the last match of Ray’s career. Jacques would go on to be the Mountie and win the Intercontinental Title, in one of the biggest surprises ever. Well not really but it was pretty surprising.

Gene is with DiBiase and Virgil and Ted is annoyed. Gene brings up the shenanigans last year with Ted “drawing” number thirty, but this year there’s additional security. Virgil drew the number for DiBiase and he got number 1. DiBiase’s “Let me tell you something little man” is a GREAT delivery as he’s so great at talking down to people.

The Genius vs. Brutus Beefcake

If you’re not familiar with Genius, think Damien Sandow if he read WWF themed poetry. Oh and he’s a jobber. And Macho Man’s real life brother. Genius offers a left-handed handshake but Brutus isn’t interested. Jesse gets on Tony about Genius beating Hogan via countout on SNME. Tony: “Well…..” Jesse: “WHO WON THE MATCH???” Genius heads to the floor for a cartwheel and we finally get the first lockup.

We get a clean break and Beefcake tells Genius what he can kiss. They lock up again and Genius goes to the eyes to get the first advantage. Beefcake comes out with an atomic drop and Genius gets to do his way overdone selling. I miss that. Back in and Genius fires off some shockingly good punches so Brutus comes back with an even bigger punch. Expect to hear the word punch a lot in this match.

Beefcake steps on Genius’ fingers like a total jerk and crotches Genius on the top rope. Half of Beefcake’s taunts would get him fired today for suggesting that Genius is effeminate. We go back to the standard story of the match: Genius gets in some strikes, Brutus hits him once to take over again. A dropkick gets two for Genius as does a rollup, but Brutus catches him coming off the middle rope with a punch to the ribs.

There’s the sleeper but Genius quickly escapes. Another sleeper attempt is quickly countered, but the Genius is knocked into the referee. Ref bumps weren’t cliched back in the 80s, so this is kind of a big development. Anyway the sleeper goes on again and Genius is going down quickly. Brutus puts him out and starts cutting his hair, but Genius’ buddy Mr. Perfect comes out for the save and the DQ.

Rating: D. This is one of those matches that was bad but it was energetic. For as much of a mess as Brutus would become in real life, the guy could get the fans fired up. That’s pretty impressive as he was almost all punching and a sleeper. This was pretty lame stuff but the fans loved it which is the right idea.

Perfect and Genius DESTROY Brutus’ ribs with the chair post match.

Sean Mooney is with the Heenan Family and suggests that they could fight each other. An argument ensues. That’s what Mooney was good at: ticking people off.

A show is coming. It’s called Wrestlemania.

Greg Valentine vs. Ronnie Garvin

This is a submission match as they both use submissions for a finisher. See? Not that complicated. Now the interesting thing here is that both guys have shin guards (Garvin even has his named: the Hammer Jammer) which blocks the pain of a Figure Four. They slug it out to start with Valentine being rammed into the buckles repeatedly. Greg comes back with chops and they slug it out in the middle of the ring.

It turns into a boxing match until Valentine goes after the leg. That gets him a thumb in the eye and they slug it out some more with both guys going down via a Garvin headbutt. Ronnie tries a sunset flip for reasons of stupidity and Valentine tries a cover of his own. Both guys go down again as this match is already running too long. Garvin rolls him up again to REALLY make it clear that it’s a submission match. See, wrestling fans are stupid and can’t understand the basic explanation of the rules.

Valentine adjusts his own shin guard (the Heartbreaker) and puts Garvin in the Figure Four. Ronnie’s guard blocks the pain, so Garvin makes funny faces at Valentine. Since that doesn’t work, Valentine puts on an over the shoulder backbreaker, much to Jesse’s delight (his old hold). Garvin pounds away in the corner and puts on an Indian Deathlock which has an effect on Greg but Valentine finally makes a rope.

They slug it out for the fifth time, although this one is at least on the floor. Valentine backdrops out of a piledriver on the concrete and we head back inside. Garvin misses a dropkick in the corner and gets caught in the Tree of Woe. That goes nowhere so they collide again and both guys go down. Hart steals Garvin’s shin guard and there’s the Figure Four. After a rope is grabbed, Garvin can’t even stand up.

Valentine goes up and Garvin slams him down from one leg. He takes off Valentine’s shin guard and tries a rollup because Ronnie is STUPID. Valentine gets tied up in the ropes so Garvin beats up Hart for fun. A shin guard shot to the head knocks out Valentine and the Sharpshooter (called a reverse Figure Four) makes Valentine give up.

Rating: C+. Not a bad match here and it was even good at times, but MAN it was long, running nearly seventeen minutes. On top of that, the stupid pin thing went WAY too long into the match. This is probably the best Garvin match I’ve ever seen, but that doesn’t really mean much as he absolutely sucks most of the time.

Mr. Perfect doesn’t like Beefcake trying to take advantage of the Genius and we get a look at the chair attack from earlier tonight. Perfect says he got #30 in the Rumble. Well he is perfect after all.

It’s time for the Brother Love Show. You might know Love as Bruce Prichard, or one of the Gut Check judges on Impact. This is his most famous role, as a parody of 80s televangelists. He talks about what it means to be a lady, and brings out the woman whose picture is in the dictionary next to the word lady: Queen Sherri. Love sucks up to her and says he also looked up the word peasant in the Book of Love. The Book of Love is the dictionary?

Anyway the point is Sapphire (Dusty’s chick) is the definition of a peasant, making her fat and ugly. Sapphire comes out and they make fun of her looks, clothes and whatever else you would expect them to make fun of, while not letting Sapphire say a word at all. Now they make fun of Dusty for being fat and Sapphire finally blasts Sherri. Savage and Dusty come out and it’s a big brawl. Even Brother Love gets in on it until security breaks it up. A dance party ensues between Dusty and Sapphire, resulting in Love being thrown to the floor.

Duggan doesn’t have much to say about his match with Boss Man.

Big Boss Man vs. Jim Duggan

Boss Man has clearly lost a TON of weight since last year and he looks much better as a result. Duggan knocks him to the floor in a bump that Boss Man couldn’t have taken a year ago. They slug it out on the floor with Duggan taking over for a bit. Back inside and Boss Man reverses a whip before crushing Duggan with a splash. Boss Man busts out an ENZIGURI to put Duggan down again. It really is amazing to see how much better Boss Man looks after being a big fat blob last year at this show.

Boss Man hits his running crotch attack on the ropes to keep Duggan in trouble but he makes the mistake of ramming Jim face first into the buckles. Duggan’s comeback is short lived though as Boss Man hits him in the back to take over again. He cannonballs down on Duggan’s ribs as this is a good physical fight so far.

That of course comes to a screeching halt as we hit a neck crank by the cop. Duggan fights up and makes a quick comeback, only to get caught by a knee lift to the ribs. Back to the neck crank followed by a bearhug which Duggan fails to break with some smacks to the head. Instead he falls into the ropes and the brawl continues.

They slug it out some more and Duggan clotheslines him out to the floor. Back in and more punching (notice a theme here?) ensues by Jim. Boss Man comes back with a clothesline but misses a top rope splash. They collide again to put both guys down but Slick slips the nightstick to Boss Man which draws the DQ.

Rating: C+. They definitely made the right move here by going with a pure brawl instead of anything resembling a wrestling match. The fans absolutely love Jim Duggan so there was no way the crowd wasn’t going to be into this. Not a good match from a quality standpoint, but it was very fun which is the better way to go sometimes.

Wrestlemania is still coming.

We get some promos from guys in the Rumble, most of which are spent talking about whoever they’re feuding with at the time: Earthquake, Bravo, Demolition, Bad News Brown, Dusty Rhodes, the Rockers, Hercules (calling it the Rumble Royal, which was the original name for the show actually), Rick Martel, Tito Santana, Snuka, Akeem (Slick does the talking) and Warrior (Intercontinental Champion), who talks about Hulk Hogan. This would have given fans chills up their spine at the thought of it happening but then they would say “Nah, that couldn’t happen.”

More promos as we’re in intermission: Savage, the Powers of Pain (Fuji does the talking), Roberts, the Hart Foundation, Honky Tonk Man and Hogan (WWF Champion of course) who looks either bloated or high as a kite.

Royal Rumble

DiBiase is #1 and Koko B. Ware is #2. Ted jumps Koko as he gets in and stomps him down. The beating goes on for awhile until trying to ram Koko’s head into the buckle, which has no effect. See Koko is black and in WWF logic, that means he has a hard head. Koko fights back and misses a charge, sending him to the floor. Marty Jannetty is in at #3 and in literally one second less time, basically the exact same thing happens as did to Koko (minus the racial aspects) and Marty goes out.

Jake Roberts is #4 and they fight on the floor which I think is a first in the Rumble. DiBiase slams him on the floor before they head back inside. A backdrop puts DiBiase down but the DDT is countered into another backdrop. They keep brawling and #5 is Randy Savage. DiBiase and Savage forget their past hatred to double team Jake for awhile until Roddy Piper is #6, setting up one of those AWESOME tag matches we never got. Seriously, that would be excellent on a Coliseum Video.

Piper and Jake beat up the heels, nearly punch each other, and then beat up the heels even more. The energy for this match is WAY better than the previous two years, which is saying a lot. Warlord is #7 and he should be solid cannon fodder for some of these guys. Piper pairs off with him as DiBiase and Savage continue their beatdown on Roberts. Roddy makes the save until Bret Hart is #8, drawing a BIG pop.

We get a six man tag for all intents and purposes, which would be another pretty interesting one with Bret being there to bump like crazy for Warlord. Bret goes after Savage, which would be great like their match on SNME. Bad News is #9 as the good run of talent continues. Jake loads up a DDT on DiBiase but Savage clotheslines him out, which is probably a good idea given how many people we’ve got out there.

Dusty Rhodes is #10 and the place continues to erupt. He heads right for Savage as you would expect him do and it’s elbows a go-go. A backdrop puts Savage out and we get Brown vs. Dusty for awhile, which I’m not sure what to think of. DiBiase takes Brown’s place which is probably the right idea. Andre is #11 and the fans aren’t sure what to think of this. Warlord goes right to him and gets tossed to a big pop. The fans still love the Giant.

Heenan and Fuji get into a fight on the floor as Andre rams Piper and Dusty’s heads together before crushing them in the corner. They come back on him and it’s the Red Rooster at #12. Even HE gets a bit of a pop before people realize that’s who just came out. Piper eliminates Brown but Brown comes back to the apron and eliminates Piper. They brawl to the back, setting up one of the strangest matches you’ll ever see at Mania.

Andre beats up Rooster and tosses him out as Ax is #13. Their teams are fighting over the tag titles at this point so there’s a story there. Hart and Rhodes try to throw out DiBiase and we get the traditional Andre is tied up in the ropes spot. Haku, Andre’s partner, is #14. Andre stands on Ax as Haku beats on Dusty. Things slow down a bit, which is understandable after the very hot first twenty minutes.

Smash is #15, giving us a group of Ax, Smash, Haku, Andre, Hart, DiBiase and Dusty. Demolition demolishes Andre down for the second time in two years before going off to beat on Haku. Rhodes and Hart beat on Dusty as people swap partners a bit. Akeem is #16 to give us another big fat guy in there. He goes after the Giant, but it’s a Demolition double clothesline that eliminates Andre. I’ve always loved that moment. Bret went out somewhere in there too.

Here’s Snuka at #17 to go after Akeem and take him out with a running headbutt. Ted and Dusty hammer away on each other a bit more until Dino Bravo is #18 with his manly powder blood trunks. Demolition beats up DiBiase and Earthquake is #19. There’s another team getting back to back numbers. Rhodes is out at Earthquake’s hands, as is Ax. Neidhart is #20, giving us Neidhart, Earthquake, Haku, Bravo, Snuka, Smash and DiBiase. Everyone gangs up on Earthquake and eliminates him, much to Bravo’s chagrin.

Neidhart and Smash work together on DiBiase, which would be unthinkable in about eight months. Here’s Warrior at #21 to go right after Bravo. They’ve got a bit of a feud going right now so Warrior dumps him with ease. Things slow down until Martel is in at #22. Haku backdrops Smash to the apron and superkicks him out. We were getting too many people in there so that’s a good idea.

Tito is #23 and of course we get a Strike Force battle, as they feuded for like, ever. Honky Tonk Man is #24 as things slow down a bit. We need another blast of energy in this soon. A bunch of people get together and dump Neidhart and Warrior clotheslines DiBiase out, giving him a new Iron Man record at just under 45 minutes. At the moment we’ve got Warrior, Honky, Martel, Santana, Snuka and Haku. Remember that blast of energy I said we needed? Hulk Hogan is #25.

Snuka goes after him and is immediately put out. Haku takes a big boot and is gone. Warrior and Martel dump Santana and we’re down to four in the ring. Shawn Michaels is #26. Hogan dumps Honky and it occurs to me that for some reason the entrance music for people stopped after like #6. Hogan dumps Honky, Warrior dumps Shawn and Martel and there are only two left in the ring.

This is the moment that changed the course of wrestling for a LONG time. You often hear the expression “everyone is on their feet”. In this case, that’s literally true as the place goes nuts and everyone in unison stands up. It’s a really cool visual and proof that this would work for Wrestlemania. They collide a few times and no one moves.

We get a criss cross to set up a double clothesline to put both guys down and the place is eating this up. As I said, this changed wrestling because we now have a Wrestlemania main event, instead of the potential Hogan vs. Zeus or Hogan vs. Perfect. Perfect is great, but it wouldn’t have worked as the main event in front of 67,000 people. Anyway Barbarian comes in at #27 and doesn’t do much so Rick Rude comes in like twenty second early at #28. I’ve always wondered if that was intentional to prevent more of just Hogan vs. Warrior.

The heels double team Hogan to put him down but Warrior saves. They beat up Warrior a bit until Hogan Hulks Up and goes to the corner, eliminating Warrior in the process. Hercules is #29, which is pretty awesome luck as he got #28 the year before. Hogan tries to put Barbarian out but gets poked in the eye. Perfect is #30, giving us a final five of Hogan, Rude, Barbarian, Hercules and Perfect.

Hercules backdrops Barbarian out to get us down to four and we pair off with Herc vs. Rude and Perfect vs. Hogan. Rude backdrops the power dude out and we’re down to a handicap match. I think you can see how this is going to end. A quick double team ends with Perfect getting punched to the apron by Rude. Perfect low bridges Rude out and we’re down to two. Hennig pounds away and hits the PerfectPlex but it’s time for more Hulking Up. Slingshot into the post, clothesline, Hogan wins.

Rating: A-. THIS IS MORE LIKE IT! They totally got the formula down here and had a white hot crowd to do it in front of. The first twenty minutes or so here are just about perfect with a ton of talented guys working HARD. The next big drags just slightly but certainly aren’t bad, and then things went through the roof with Hogan vs. Warrior and the ending. Perfect was supposed to win here, but Hogan vetoed it and got the win himself. The more I think about that the less I dislike it because after the first two matches, you almost had to have a main eventer win this. Either way, great stuff here and one of the best Rumbles ever.

Overall Rating: B-. This is one of those tricky shows to rate as you have four pretty weak matches to start things off, but the Rumble is great and is longer than all four other matches combined. The Rumble is all that mattered here anyway and we got a great one to really establish a standard for the match for years to come. Also Wrestlemania is shaping up really well, so I don’t have many complaints here at all. Good stuff.

Ratings Comparison

Bushwhackers vs. Fabulous Rougeaus

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Brutus Beefcake vs. The Genius

Original: C+

Redo: D

Ronnie Garvin vs. Greg Valentine

Original: F (Biased). B- (Unbiase).

Redo: C+

Jim Duggan vs. Big Boss Man

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Royal Rumble

Original: A-

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: B-

Dang the weight of the Rumble has gone way up in the last few years.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/09/royal-rumble-count-up-1990/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of In Your House at Amazon for just $4 at:

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On This Day: November 24, 1983 – Starrcade 1983: The First

This is the original biggest show ever and it actually lives up to the billing.  The main event is Ric Flair vs. Harley Race inside a cage in one of the biggest storylines ever at that point.

Starrcade 1983
Date: November 24, 1983
Location: Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, North Carolina
Attendance: 15,447
Commentators: Gordon Solie, Bob Caudle

 

As mentioned, this was all about Race vs. Flair. Even the show’s title (A Flair for the Gold) was focused on that one match. Aside from that, the rest of the show was pretty much a big Mid-Atlantic house show. There was a world tag team title match between the Brisco Brothers and Ricky Steamboat/Jay Youngblood and Roddy Piper vs. US Champion Greg Valentine in a non-title dog collar match. The rest of the card pretty much was thrown together and had little to do with ongoing storylines. Let’s get to it.

 

There isn’t much in the way of an intro. We open on a shot of the arena and the announcer says “THIS IS STARRCADE!” That’s a very simple yet awesome way to say it.

 

The Assassins vs. Rufus R. Jones/Bugsy McGraw

 

This is one of those matches with no given story behind it. Jones is the reigning Mid-Atlantic Heavyweight Champion at this point, McGraw is a fat guy and the Assassins are guys in black sweaters and pants with yellow masks. They’re called Assassin #1 and #2 so it’s not going to be easy to remember which is which. Bugsy starts with we’ll say #1 and the match is shockingly fast paced to begin. Bugsy drops him with a shoulder block but both guys miss elbow drops. A slam sends #1 to the floor and the fans are VERY into McGraw.

 

Back in and they lock up with McGraw hitting a quick elbow to the head before pounding away on #1 over and over to knock him into the corner. Here’s Assassin #2 who is much smaller than his partner. Another slam puts #2 down and it’s off to Rufus for an even louder ovation. He gyrates a lot and pounds away as the cameraman seems to slip, sending the shot all over the place. Rufus works on #2’s arm with some headbutts before it’s back to Bugsy.

 

The Assassins make a tag but #1 winds up running away from McGraw instead of fighting him. #1 grabs the wrist and cranks on it a bit but Bugsy looks much more annoyed than anything else. Bugsy elbows his way out of trouble and brings Rufus back in for more headbutts to the shoulder. Jones pounds on #1 in the corner and knocks him down with a hard Irish whip. Assassin rakes him in the eye to finally take over but the advantage lasts for all of ten seconds before Jones fires off some headbutts to the ribs.

 

Back to Bugsy for some wild punches to take over. Everything breaks down until it’s just McGraw backdropping I think #1. In a pretty bad ending, #2 causally walks into the ring and rolls up McGraw for the fluke win. The referee seemed to be perfectly fine with the lack of tagging there.

 

Rating: D. The match sucked but the crowd reactions for McGraw/Jones were great. I have no idea what the point was in having the Assassins win here was as they were in control for roughly ten seconds out of just over eight minutes. Nothing to see here at all and the ending sucked the life out of the crowd.

 

The announcers talk about how great this show is and hype up the main event a little bit more. Apparently Dusty Rhodes is going to challenge the winner.

 

Tony Schiavone (long time WCW commentator making his debut tonight) is in the back as the good guys are warming up for their matches later, including both Flair and Piper.

 

Kevin Sullivan/Mark Lewin vs. Scott McGhee/Johnny Weaver

 

McGhee and Sullivan get things going meaning we don’t have a tall man in the ring at all. Off to Lewin to slap McGhee in the back and tag out to Sullivan again. Weaver gets the tag and we get a crisscross resulting in Sullivan holding onto the ropes to avoid a right hand. Lewin comes back in but Weaver starts cranking on his arm to gain control. Off to Scott again as Lewin isn’t sure what to do.

 

Mark and Kevin start tagging in and out very quickly to work on Scott’s arm with knees and chops to the shoulder. Lewin comes in to crank on both arms at once but Scott manages to make a tag while still in the hold. That would be very impressive but the tag doesn’t count as the referee didn’t see it. Lewin and Sullivan stay on the arm before it’s a nerve hold by Mark. Sullivan comes back in but lets McGhee go long enough for the hot tag to Weaver. Johnny cleans house but has his bulldog broken up by Sullivan. Now it’s Weaver getting pounded down and Lewin comes in off the top rope with a knee to the arm….for the pin? Seriously?

 

Rating: C-. It was better than the opener but not by much. The arm stuff was fine although the ending was out of nowhere. Sullivan just held the arm while Lewin jumped onto it for the pin. The match wasn’t bad but we’re now a fourth of the way through the show and no good guy has won yet. That’s some questionable booking.

 

Post match Sullivan and Lewin’s manager Gary Hart throws in a spike and McGhee is stabbed in the head, busting him open. Huge referee Angelo Mosca gets beaten down for a bit before making the save.

 

Some fans from South Carolina are in the front row and are very polite about being here.

 

Harley Race is his usual calm and collected self and says he knows all of Flair’s injuries. He’s coming after them tonight.

 

Abdullah the Butcher vs. Carlos Colon

 

This was a MEGA feud in Puerto Rico where the match was allegedly banned from ever happening again, despite the two feuding on and off on the island for the next ten years or so. Abdullah looks exactly the same here as he’d look for years to come. Butcher shoves Colon into the corner to start and pounds away on him against the ropes. It looks like Abdullah has something in his hand to jab Carlos in the head with.

 

Carlos comes back with some right hands and an object of his own. Colon fires off some shots the ample gut and gets two off a legdrop. Butcher kicks Carlos off of a near fall and the referee is crushed in the process. Colon puts on the Figure Four but Butcher’s manager Hugo Savonovich rakes Carlos’ eyes, giving Butcher the pin.

 

Rating: D+. Just a brawl here for the most part which never got wild in the slightest. Butcher was there because he could bleed a lot and look like a mess at the end of the match. Carlos was somewhat known here but the fans weren’t quite sure what to make of the match as neither guy was all that well known in this area. This was about three minutes of punching and then a finish though, which makes for a dull match.

 

Angelo Mosca is furious but says he’s going to be the referee in the world tag title match later. He’s going on a crusade for people like his son so he doesn’t have to deal with people like Sullivan and Lewin. The camera pans back to see Scott McGhee covered in blood and looking completely unconscious in a disturbing visual. Oh and Mosca picks Flair to win tonight.

 

More fans pick Flair to win tonight.

 

Wahoo McDaniel/Mark Youngblood vs. Dick Slater/Bob Orton

 

Slater and Orton put Flair out with a broken neck and McDaniel and Youngblood are Flair’s friends, here for revenge. Youngblood and McDaniel are both Native Americans so they come to the ring in big headdresses. Before the bell Dusty Rhodes is introduced to the live crowd for no apparent reason. Wahoo and Slater start things off with McDaniel quickly throwing him over the top and out onto the apron.

 

Back in and Wahoo works on the arm before it’s off to Mark for some arm work of his own. We cut to an overhead camera view which is pretty disorienting. Slater is slammed down but comes back with a quick rollup for two. Mark puts on a hammerlock as we go back to the overhead view. Slater is kicked to the apron again but comes back in with a Russian legsweep for two. Orton comes in with a knee to the back and it’s Youngblood in trouble.

 

A gorilla press backbreaker has Youngblood down again but Bob misses an elbow. After a quick chase on the floor, Orton brings Slater back in after only a brief rest on the apron. Actually scratch that again as the tag doesn’t count for some reason. It’s very clear that the tag team formula hasn’t been invented yet. A crisscross results in a backbreaker to Youngblood and a tag off to Slater. There’s a gutwrench suplex for two on Mark and he falls to the floor for some stomping by Orton.

 

Youngblood breaks the count by a second but the punishment to the back continues with a reverse chinlock. Orton lets go on the hold and stomps him in the face for good measure. Slater comes in and breaks up a tag before suplexing Mark down for two. Back up and they bang heads, allowing for the hot tag to Wahoo. He cleans house with an atomic drop on Orton and a big chop for good measure.

 

Everything breaks down and it’s Wahoo getting double teamed for a change. A belly to back suplex gets several two counts for Dick before it’s back to Orton. Bob misses a headbutt and it’s off to Mark who speeds things up almost immediately. Wahoo is sent to the floor and Youngblood has to fight off both villains on his own. After a quick double beating, Orton hits Youngblood with the superplex for the pin.

 

Rating: C. Not a terrible match here but the majority of it was Slater and Orton toying with Youngblood and McDaniel which doesn’t make for very entertaining action. I’m not sure what sort of revenge this gets for Flair and it makes the Native Americans look pretty lame. Also this is the fourth straight loss for the good guys here.

 

The winners injure Wahoo’s arm post match.

 

Flair is in the back with Ricky Steamboat and Jay Youngblood who are getting ready for their matches later. In a rare sight, Flair is very calm and collected before the main event. He wishes the other two luck. Youngblood and Steamboat are ready too and promises to win the tag belts again.

 

Dusty Rhodes…..has technical difficulties but I think he’s talking about wanting the first shot at the winner. Expect to hear things like this a lot, as Dusty had a big issue with making everything about himself and not the guys that the show was supposed to be focusing on.

 

TV Title: Charlie Brown vs. Great Kabuki

 

This has a lot of stuff to mention. First of all, Kabuki is defending. Second of all, Brown is Jimmy Valiant under a mask, but given that he has Valiant’s foot and a half long beard, it’s clearly him. Also this is a sixty minute time limit but the title is only on the line for the first fifteen minutes which I’ve never heard of before. The referee is in jeans here too which isn’t something you often see. Finally this is mask vs. title, but again I think that’s only for fifteen minutes.

 

Kabuki is sent to the floor but Brown is all over him, sending the champion into the post and chasing him with a chair. Kabuki gets crotched against the post and it’s time to dance back inside. Brown chokes away and pounds away before putting on a sleeper hold. Kabuki goes for the mask to escape but Brown puts the hold back on almost immediately. The champion’s manager Gary Hart puts Kabuki’s foot on the ropes for the break and Brown yells a lot.

 

Kabuki comes back with a kick to the chest and some chops to take over before putting on a claw hold. Brown escapes and backdrops Kabuki down, only to have the champion come back with another claw hold. Charlie fights up again but he’s too dazed to follow up. Back to the claw for the third time but Kabuki lets it go for no apparent reason. A top rope chop to the head gets two on Brown so Kabuki goes after the mask again. Another kick puts Brown down but he fights up, avoids a kick in the corner and drops an elbow for the pin and the title out of nowhere.

 

Rating: D. Another dull match here but we finally get a victory for a good guy. The majority of this match was spent with Brown laying on the mat in a hold which doesn’t make for an interesting match whatsoever. Brown would become Jimmy Valiant again soon and had to drop the title as a result. Nothing to see here but the good stuff is coming.

 

Caudle and Solie talk to a local radio show host who predicts Flair winning. Does ANYBODY think Race is winning? The announcers run down the rest of the card. Both guys look and sound like great announcers which they both are for the most part. Solie talks about being saved by Roddy Piper during a brawl so he’s backing Piper in the dog collar match.

 

Slater and Orton talk about the bounty they collected and think Race is retaining the gold. Race says these two men know Flair better than anyone so he’s as ready as he can be.

 

Dusty (noticing a pattern here?) says that he wants the first shot at the new champion. He picks Flair too after talking about how great his own career has been for a minute or so.

 

Roddy Piper vs. Greg Valentine

 

Greg is US Champion but this is non-title because it’s a dog collar match. The idea is they both have collars around their neck and there’s a chain attaching the two collars, meaning neither guy can run away. Anything goes and you can win by pinfall. This match came about because Valentine injured Piper’s ear in the match where he won the title. They immediately start by pulling on the chain with their necks in a painful looking tug of war. Neither guy can get an advantage so they both start pulling on the chain to get closer to each other.

 

Piper gets in the first shot with the chain and Valentine is mad. They back up again but Valentine misses some swings and Piper gets back to the corner. Both guys come to the center of the ring for a slugout but no one can take over. Roddy gets in some shots with the chain and Valentine is in trouble. Greg goes for the bad ear and start choking away with the chain but also wrapping the chain around Piper’s face for extra torture.

 

Piper comes back with some shots to the eyes of his own before choking away in the middle of the ring. Valentine is sent into the corner and Piper keeps pounding away on the head. Piper takes it to the floor for some HARD shots with the chain as they head into the barricade. Greg gets in some shots to the bad ear and Piper is bleeding from the side of his head.

 

Back in and Valentine pounds away but Piper blocks a suplex. A hard elbow gets two for Valentine but Piper is in big trouble. Greg tries to hit the ropes but Piper pulls the chain to bring him down. Piper goes NUTS on Valentine and pounds away on him, busting the champion open in the process. Valentine goes right back to the ear but Piper comes back with some straight left hands to the jaw. A BIG right hand drops Valentine but Greg goes after the ear again to take over. Greg gets two off a knee drop as both guys are tiring.

 

A chain shot to Piper’s ear gets two but Roddy comes back with a suplex to put both guys down. Greg grabs a quick sleeper but Piper’s arm only drops once. Roddy wraps the chain around his hand but the hold slows him down again. A jawbreaker gets Piper out of the hold but it’s Valentine going up first. Roddy pulls him off the ropes and beats the tar out of him with the chain before tying the legs up to pin Valentine. Solie says that was for the title but corrects himself a few seconds later.

 

Rating: B+. This is a very hard hitting brawl but it can be a bit slow at times. This is the match that made people realize how insane Piper could be as he went out there and took an insane beating before coming back time after time and trying to hurt Valentine. He would jump to the WWF soon after and become the top villain in the world, which is what he deserved to be.

 

Post match Valentine jumps Piper and chokes him with the chain.

 

Flair gets I think his third interview of the night, this time with Wahoo McDaniel next to him, says that he’s coming for Race, Slater and Orton. He wants the best from Race tonight.

 

Don Kernoodle, former world tag team champion, wants to see Flair win.

 

Tag Titles: Ricky Steamboat/Jay Youngblood vs. Brisco Brothers

 

The Brothers would be Jerry, who you might remember as one of Vince’s Stooges in the Attitude Era and the legendary former world champion Jack. They’re defending here against the guys they took the belts from. Jack and Steamboat start things off in what sounds like a dream match. It’s a feeling out process to start with neither guy being able to get any kind of advantage to start. Steamboat does some fast leapfrogs but Brisco grabs the ropes to avoid a chop. Mosca, the big guy mentioned earlier, is referee here.

 

Jerry comes in to work on the arm for a bit before it’s back to Jack for an armbar. Jerry comes in again and pounds away in the corner but Ricky chops him down and tags in Jay. Youngblood counters a slam into an armdrag on Jerry before bringing Steamboat back in to pound on the arm as well. Jay jumps off the top onto the arm as well but it’s off to Jack again to drop Steamboat throat first onto the top rope.

 

A quick suplex gets two for Jerry and he hooks a short armscissors to keep Ricky in trouble. Ricky escapes in an impressive power display by lifting him off the mat and dropping him down on his back. Hot tag brings in Jay and things break down. The Briscos double team Youngblood to take over again but Jerry can only get two off a suplex. Jerry tries his abdominal stretch cradle but Jay kicks out again. He tries again but rolls Jay into the corner for another tag to Steamboat and the future dragon cleans house. A double chop puts Jerry down and Steamboat slams Jay down onto Jerry for the pin and the titles.

 

Rating: C+. Nice tag match here to give Steamboat and Youngblood their fifth tag titles. Yeah even back then there were teams who would get a bunch of titles in just a few years. Anyway, the Briscos would be retired soon after this while Youngblood would die in 1985 due to injuries suffered in the match. Good stuff here though.


As the new champions celebrate, we actually have the credits read to us. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that before.

 

Charlie Brown comes in to see Flair and says the TV Title is for Jimmy Valiant. Piper comes in to say it’s not over between himself and Valentine (yeah it was). The new tag champions say they know what it takes to be champions now because the first three reigns didn’t count I guess.

 

The announcers hype up the main event even more.

 

NWA World Title: Ric Flair vs. Harley Race

 

The entrances take a LONG time, especially when you compare them to the other intros tonight. Wait has anyone else had an intro tonight? I don’t think they have actually. Flair has a long light sequence with his legendary music (the song playing in the gorilla sequence from 2001: A Space Odyssey) playing in the background. Former world champion Gene Kiniski is guest referee for no apparent reason and this is inside a steel cage. Race is a seven time and reigning champion and Flair is a two time champion so these are both seasoned veterans.

 

They talk trash to each other to start before Flair takes him down with a headlock takeover. Race sends him into the ropes for a knee to the ribs but Kiniski pulls them apart. Ric snapmares him down into a chinlock which transitions into a headlock. Race fights up and hits a high knee, only to have a falling headbutt hit the canvas. Flair goes back to the headlock and cranks away on it on the mat but has to shift over into a front facelock.

 

Race escapes but misses a big elbow drop, only to fall on Flair for two during a slam attempt. Race drops a knee on the forehead and it’s Flair in trouble this time. Kiniski pulls Race off again so Harley opts to hit Ric in the ear instead. A piledriver puts Flair down but Race drops an elbow before covering. Race stays on the neck which is logical given the piledriver that put Flair out earlier in the year. The champion drives some knee into the back of the neck before sending Flair head first into the cage. That’s the first time it’s been used and we’re about ten minutes into the match.

 

We go to that overhead camera shot again as Race hits what looks like a shoulder breaker for two. A falling headbutt has Flair in trouble again as does being slammed face first into the cage. Another shot into the steel has Flair in trouble and Race is in full control. The referee pulls Race off Flair for the third time but this time he yells at Flair as well. Ric is busted open now.

 

Flair tries a headbutt get gets raked in the eyes to bring him down again. Now Ric blocks a ram into the cage and sends the champion in to get his first advantage in a long time. A knee to Race’s head gets two and Harley is busted open as well. Flair hits a piledriver of his own but Race’s afro protects him, meaning Flair only gets two. There’s a butterfly suplex for two for Flair and he sends Race head first into the cage again.

 

Race is in trouble but comes back with a headbutt which looked very low and Flair is in trouble as a result. Kiniski interferes AGAIN before Race throws Flair into the cage. Flair loads up a punch but Gene pulls the arm back because that’s illegal. IN A CAGE MATCH. Ric gets ticked off and pounds away on the champion but Kiniski breaks up the strut. Flair puts on the Figure Four but Race turns it over, which is apparently a big deal at this time.

 

Race headbutts out of the corner but Flair falls on top during a suplex attempt. The champion slams him down and drops a middle rope headbutt but stuns himself in the process. A suplex gets two more for Race and there is blood EVERYWHERE. Race pounds away and Kiniski has a problem with that too. Harley shrugs off some Flair punches and sends him into the cage before choking away with his boot.

 

Flair counters a suplex into one of his own as the back and forth control continues. A big elbow drop misses Race and both guys are down. Flair has been in such a fight that he’s gone from covered in blood to clean again to bloody again. Race accidentally knocks the referee down and in a famous but odd ending, Flair goes up top and hits a cross body, sending Race falling over the kneeling Kiniski for the pin and the title.

 

Rating: A. This is the definition of an old school fight. While it was pretty clear that Flair was going to win, it wasn’t a complete lock which made the match that much more interesting. The only slight flaw is the ending as the Kiniski stuff really wasn’t needed and the build wasn’t all that strong. Still though, this was a bloody and violent match between two of the best ever. Great stuff.

 

Flair’s friends storm the cage to celebrate. Ric thanks the fans for the win.

 

The announcers talk about Dusty vs. Flair which is coming soon.

 

Tony is in the back with Flair (again) and Flair thanks the fans (again). Here’s Dusty (AGAIN) to say he’s coming for the title, because Heaven forbid Flair gets his moment without Dusty being the last thing we see on the show right???

 

The announcers talk about Dusty. AGAIN.

 

Race says that he’ll be back, which he technically would by beating Flair in an unrecognized title reign in New Zealand but it only lasted three days. There’s a misconception that Race was very old at this point, but he was only forty years old here, which is a lot younger than a lot of the guys on this show, many of whom were in their mid to late 40s.

 

Flair (in his fifth or sixth promo tonight) is with Steamboat and Youngblood as they pose with their titles.

 

The announcers talk about everything to end the show, over twenty minutes after the main event ended.

 

Overall Rating: B. This show is a hard one to grade because it’s literally the first of its kind. Starrcade was a very ambitious effort and it worked quiet well for the most part. The first three matches were pretty bad, but with the longest one being just over eight minutes long. The next two matches weren’t particularly good either but at least they had some stories behind them.

 

That brings us to the final three matches which were all somewhere between good and masterpieces. This is pretty much a one match show with the main event being the focus of about 90% of the hype and that was excellent. On top of that you have another great match in the collar match and a very solid tag match, so what more can you really ask for here? It’s a very good show which is a very easy sit and required viewing for all wrestling fans.

 

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Also if you’re interested in Starrcade, I’ve written an e-book reviewing all 18 editions.




On This Day: November 5, 2006 – Cyber Sunday 2006: Shawn Michaels At His Best

Cyber Sunday 2006
Date: November 5, 2006
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re obviously on Sunday now as this should be a bit better of a show, at least in theory. We have a main event of Champion vs. Champion vs. Champion as Big Show vs. Booker T vs. John Cena is the main event. The vote is which title is on the line. This also has a very long Rated RKO vs. DX match on it and one of my favorite comedy moments ever in wrestling if not my favorite. All that being said let’s get to it.

The video is about how we have the power and it lists off most of the matches and the stipulations we can pick.

The first vote is who fights Umaga with the choices being Sandman, Kane or Benoit. Benoit, the US Champion, is last as Kane more or less dominates the poll with nearly 50%. And what a coincidence that these two had been feuding!

Umaga vs. Kane

Umaga had sent Kane to either Smackdown or ECW recently so again there’s a point to this, which is just so convenient no? It was Smackdown apparently. Umaga is still undefeated here. Kane can’t hurt him with a headbutt as it’s good to see that Vince is keeping up with his stereotypes. Total slugout to start and Kane no sells a bunch of stuff. Pretty boring match so far but what do you expect?

The Samoan hits a downward spiral of all things to take over. This needs to end already and we’re like three minutes into it. The running hip shot has Kane reeling. Ok apparently it woke him up. Is this supposed to make sense? A mas of Samoan fat in your face wakes you up? Also what is it with Samoans and that move in the corner?

Kane starts his comeback and has the…uh….small man in trouble. Estrada gets up on the apron to do nothing of note and Kane sits up after the Samoan Drop. This has gotten better if you couldn’t tell. He jumps off for the clothesline but jumps into the Samoan Spike and another one ends it.

Rating: D+. This got better but still not by much. It’s ok but that’s about all it was. Umaga would get a main event push very soon but it never really went anywhere either. This was a pretty decent opener I guess but the crowd was pretty much dead for it which is really weird. Kane jobs again. What a shock that is.

Show and Sharmell talk and Sharmell tries to talk Show out of the match. Oh wait she wants them to team up. This is generic and stupid but it’s standard fair for shows and matches like these.

Cryme Tyme vs. Viscera/Charlie Haas vs. The Highlanders vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

The options are Texas Tornado, Fatal Fourway or Tag Team Turmoil with the insane one winning. Texas Tornado means everyone is in the ring at the same time. No titles or anything but rather just a match to fill out the card. Tornado gets half the vote and it’s a big mess. I remember Viscera and Charlie as a team but have no idea why. This is a total mess of course.

Who would imagine that JTG would be the only one left in the company at this point and that Viscera is the most famous name in this match somehow. I’m not even going to try to keep track of what’s going on here as it’s a free for all. JTG and Charlie are the only ones in the ring. Great German suplex by Haas to take over but they’re replaced almost immediately by Shad and Viscera.

Shad has been arrested 23 times for assault. The Highlanders get rid of the fat man as Cade and Murdoch take over. And then JTG hits a kick to end it. Sure whatever. They dance on the announce table after the match and teach JR the handshake. And there goes King’s laptop. Racial stereotyping FTW! Yes I said FTW.

Rating: D. Total mess here with no flow or story in sight but that was the idea I guess. It was just a big disaster with everyone all over the place. It was to put Cryme Tyme over but of course they never wound up doing anything. They would get fired sooner or later here but I’m not sure when. It’s not like it matters or anything so whatever.

Time for the moment referenced in the title. Shawn and HHH are at a computer with Shawn voting on who should be the referee in their match tonight. They’ve tormented Coach and Vince enough, so that leaves Bischoff. HHH tells Shawn he’s not controversial enough anymore, sending Shawn into a frenzy. He asks a production guys what his name is. Production guy: “Stan.” Shawn: “Stan?” Then he superkicks Stan. It’s so out of nowhere that it works perfectly. Then Shawn runs down the hall, superkicking everyone he runs into. Youtube this. It’s hilarious and cracks me up every time.

The next pick is for Jeff Hardy’s opponent with the choices being Johnny Nitro, Shelton Benjamin and Carlito, who wins in a LANDSLIDE with over 60% of the vote.

Intercontinental Title: Carlito vs. Jeff Hardy

The title was getting a bit of a rejuvenation around this time before dying again soon after this due to one Santino. I think both are faces here but I’m not sure. They shake hands so I’d assume so. They do some mat/technical stuff but it’s botched pretty badly. And there’s another semi-botch. Either they’re doing a really weird style or they’re just botching a lot of stuff. Someone really wants Carlito to cut his hair.

Hardy’s rail running clothesline is countered by a dropkick in a decent looking move. Twist of Fate is reversed as this is getting better. The one that isn’t on national TV at the moment controls as we’re just waiting around a lot at this point. What we’re waiting for I’m not sure but the fans think this is boring. I can’t say I disagree. We’ve had a lot of Carlito using a reverse bearhug on the mat. Yes he’s being lazy. I’m shocked too.

From that we head to a sleeper. I bet the concession stand people are loving this. Crowd is pretty dead for this and I can’t blame them at all. I love people complaining about Cole and Lawler now as he and JR are botching a ton of lines here. Jeff makes a comeback but the Swanton hits knees. Whisper in the Wind gets two as this part at least is good. Carlito misses a hurricanrana and the Swanton finally ends it.

Rating: D+. The ending made it watchable but DANG the stalling here was stupid. They just laid around here far too long and it just was boring for the most part. It’s about 13 minutes long but the majority of that is just Carlito doing rest holds. This could have been good if Carlito wasn’t so lazy, but then again if he wasn’t he’d still be employed.

Ad for one of Hogan’s DVDs.

We recap DX vs. Rated RKO which was about Orton and Edge teaming up to take Raw back from DX and its selfishness. This was a cool idea for an angle but of course HHH got hurt as he was known to do. Naturally this allows us to have a DX montage package since that’s just what you do. The choices here are Vince, Coach or Bischoff.

D-Generation X Vs. Rated RKO

DX’s intro takes forever of course even though they come out first. Bischoff gets sixty percent of the vote, beating Vince and Coach combined. This makes me question the legitimacy here as Bischoff getting that many especially with Vince in the poll is REALLY odd. He’s going to be against DX here for no adequately explained reason. It says a lot when HBK, probably the best and biggest star of these four, is the one with the least world titles on his resume.

We see more of Edge than I’d like as Shawn pulls his tights down. We’ll he’s had it done so often to him I guess he had to return the favor to someone. HHH says he’s coming in off the top then says screw it and just climbs down. That was kind of funny. It was completely pointless but it was kind of funny. All DX to start here but I think that was more or less expected. Lots of punching here so far but we’re only a few minutes into it.

Orton is really arrogant here and is perfect as the total jerk. He’s not quite as good as he was two years before, but he was great back then so it’s hard to call him at his best. Shawn comes in and we get the forearm and nip-up like five minutes into this. Orton stops Chin Music though and crotches Shawn. He plays Ricky Morton now, which says a lot about how much the Midnights and the Rock N Roll Express changed and influenced wrestling.

Shawn’s selling really is great. You would believe he’s been run over by a bus off of every move he takes, which really makes the other guy look devastating. Naturally, Orton hits a chinlock. Shawn gets out of the way of a spear and down goes Bischoff to a solid pop. Naturally DX waits for a tag to have HHH come in even though there’s no referee. Uh…moral?

Spear takes down HHH and Edge does a crotch chop so he takes a plancha from Shawn for his troubles. RKO puts HHH down and here’s a spare referee to count the two. This all took like a minute so sorry for the commentary. Sweet Chin Music to Orton gets two since Bischoff pulls the referee out of the ring. A chair is brought in and both DX guys get popped with it and Bischoff doesn’t seem to mind. RKO on the chair ends it.

Rating: B-. Not bad here but there was just something missing. It felt rushed even though this somehow was pushing 20 minutes. The beginning is just a bunch of punches and then Shawn got in trouble, setting up the ref bump and the ending. It’s definitely a good match but this could have been more if the time they had was used more properly, which isn’t something you often have to say about a match Shawn is in.

Ad for The Marine, which wasn’t that bad.

Rated RKO says nothing of note.

The Divas come out to be told who to do. Make your own jokes on that one. It’s a lumberjack match.

Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Lita

Trish retired so we had a four Diva tournament to set this up. Lita is about a month from retiring at this point so she’s more or less destined to win. Mickie throws the absolute worst dropkick anyone with a great rack has ever thrown. This is horrible but at least we get to look at Mickie’s figure. Lita as a heel just doesn’t work from an in ring perspective. She hooks on a sleeper that does fairly well.

Not that it wins or anything since it’s a freaking sleeper but nice try if nothing else. Instead of a match here, Lita seems like she’s just there doing moves on Mickie with no particular rhyme or reason. The girls do their thing of course and nothing of note is going on here at all. Lita blocks/Mickie botches the Stratusfaction and Mickie gets a rollup for two. The other Divas get involved and a spike DDT ends it for Lita.

Rating: D. This was boring beyond all belief. The only highlights were Mickie in general and Lita’s chest. Other than that we were just sitting around watching this nonsense go on and on. The match never went anywhere as it’s clear Lita just didn’t care anymore. Mickie would win the title from Lita at Survivor Series in Lita’s retirement match.

Mania is in Detroit.

Kenny yells at the Spirit Squad and says he’s better than they are so he’s the leader.

Raw Tag Titles: Ric Flair/??? vs. Spirit Squad

The vote is for Flair’s partner. The choices are Piper, Slaughter and Dusty. Piper, looking VERY old, gets the nod. Is there supposed to be a connection between Slaughter and Flait that I’m just not getting? Piper takes his shirt off and I get mad at him. How could he not tell us he was 8 months pregnant? He even has breasts full of milk! Dusty and Slaughter come out to back up the old guys for this.

Kenny and Mikey are the two in the ring at the moment. Ross says this is like Lebron vs. Michael Jordan. Well no one ever claimed Ross toned things down. Both tag and Piper is pathetic looking. Piper gets beaten up as Flair is by far the ace of the team. That’s either awesome or sad and I’m not sure which. The heels dominate for the most part while Piper just kind of lays there.

The hot tag brings in Flair and Mikey is in the figure four but Kenny saves with his top rope legdrop. Are we waiting on the Piper hot tag now? It’s clear that Flair is the only guy on his team in any semblance of shape. Figure four goes on again and OLD GUYS WIN! Dusty and Slaughter come in to stop the big beatdown. Rhodes’ music of all things plays them out. Ah ok it’s so they can dance.

Rating: D-. This was pretty pathetic really. Flair is passable but Piper was clearly just in nothing close to wrestling shape. He would at least wear a t-shirt for the rest of his time in the ring which is a nice break. They would drop the belts in 8 days to Rated RKO so at least this wasn’t long or anything. The match was bad though, namely due to Piper.

Booker tries to get Cena on his side and Cena says ok, but he wants one night with the Queen. Can’t say he’s not smart as Sharmell is rather attractive. Booker sends Sharmell out and then says ok to a HUGE shocked pop. Cena asks if he’s crazy as that’s Booker’s wife. He leaves and makes up a story to Sharmell about this weird orgy that he gets to watch. Funnier than it sounds, and Ron Simmons says his catchphrase.

Ad for Survivor Series, where it’s brand vs. brand vs. brand.

Some Bengals are here.

We see how all three champions got their titles in a cool package.

Basically you’re voting for who you want to win here since no title is going to be unified here. Booker wins by a landslide.

Smackdown World Title: Booker T vs. John Cena vs. Big Show

Booker is knocked to the floor almost immediately and it’s Cena vs. Show for a long time. We swap that out for Booker vs. Cena as it’s clearly going to be a basic triple thread with two guys fighting for awhile as the third is down. Show gets two and Cena makes the save. A double clothesline puts the big man on the floro and something tells me that’s the last we’re going to see from him for a LONG time.

Of course I’m wrong as he makes a save off a Fisherman’s suplex from Cena. Show gets the stairs but gets a dropkick to his knee, driving his head into the steps. Ok that’s how they get rid of him. Book End gets two in the ring. Just to mess with the internet, Cena hits a belly to belly suplex and goes for a top rope splash. Lawler points out Cena has nothing to lose here which is true.

It’s been Booker vs. Cena for about 4 minutes now with Show on the floor. Both counter the other’s finisher and we’re about even. STFU doesn’t work as this just isn’t that much at all, mainly because we know nothing is coming from this since Show is going to be back eventually to stop whatever is going on here. Token plug for the Marine follows as Cena is in control.

After about seven minutes Show is finally up. That’s part of the issue with matches like these: a move like that would never keep a guy down that long but here it’s perfectly normal. A missile dropkick puts Show down and takes Cena down with him since Cena was on Show’s shoulders. Wow that came out awkward but you get the idea. Show takes over now and takes Cena to the floor.

And so much for that theory as Show gets put down (and booed loudly) before the 5 Knuckle Shuffle has Booker in trouble. FU to Sharmell as she tries to hit Cena with a belt. STFU on Booker and KEVIN FREAKING FEDERLINE comes in and blasts Cena with a belt. A belt shot from Booker lets him keep the title.

Rating: D+. Just a bad match overall. There was no way a title was changing here and since Show couldn’t stay in there longer than like two minutes at a time due to general fatness, this was a glorified one on one match. It’s a cool idea on paper but other than that it’s really not that much. The over twenty minutes did go by quickly though which was nice.

Overall Rating: D. These shows just aren’t that good. The voting thing is a cool idea but the problem comes when the matches simply aren’t any good no matter what you throw out there. The Champion of Champions match was a good idea but it was really weak given Show laying on the ground for most of it. Like I’ve said for a long time, these should be TV specials rather than PPVs. Nothing big ever happens and the tag titles changing hands is almost predictable at this point. Bad show, but not too bad.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




On This Day: November 4, 1996 – Monday Nitro: Two Old Guys Argue A Lot

Monday Nitro #60
Date: November 4, 1996
Location: Van Andel Arena, Grand Rapids, Michigan
Attendance: 7,568
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone, Larry Zbyszko

We’re into November now and World War 3 is in three weeks. Well 20 days but you get the idea. Ok so it’s really 15 years ago plus a few months but we’ll be here all day if we get into that. Anyway after last week, there’s not much to go on so hopefully we really get things going tonight. Let’s get to it.

Sting is in the rafters. DiBiase, Vincent and Giant are in the crowd and looking up at him.

Tonight we start a tournament for the new WCW Women’s Title.

Eric isn’t here tonight, but rather in Portland trying to get Piper to sign a contract. Remember that. It becomes REAL important in a few weeks.

We get a clip from Havoc where Piper yells at Hogan. Tony says the fans have demanded it, including over the internet. Tonight a word is promised about the signing.

Marcus Bagwell vs. Brad Armstrong

Sting leaves before the match starts. Man even he hates Buff. Riggs it at ringside too. Random question but where have the Steiners been? Are they still out from the car wreck thing? Bagwell does the clap thing and to his credit, the crowd is doing it with him. Technical match for the most part as they’re on the mat a lot. One thing that’s unrelated to the match: there are fans in the front row leaning over people (nice guys) to try to see themselves on a screen. I guess there are monitors or something by the entrance. That helps a lot as far as the videos they play.

We take a break (in the opener? Between Bagwell and Armstrong?) and come back to Armstrong hitting some armdrags (with his strong arms I guess) to frustrate Bagwell. Bagwell hits him in the face and the brawl is on. The fans are getting into this too. A dropkick puts Bagwell down and he gets tossed to the floor. Bagwell does just the same, hitting a dropkick and a clothesline to put Armstrong on the floor. There’s a dive to the floor and Brad is in trouble.

The NWO is in the crowd. They seem to be in the same place we saw them earlier so presumably they’ve been there the entire time. Why we’re looking at them and should be surprised to see them eludes me but a lot of what WCW did eluded me. Ok now they’re leaving. A tornado DDT gets two for Armstrong. There’s a gutbuster for Bagwell and what looked to be a forearm to put Armstrong down. We get the same ending from Fall Brawl 95 with Johnny B. Badd vs. Pillman where they both hit cross bodies and Bagwell lands on top for the pin.

Rating: C+. Marcus Bagwell vs. Brad Armstrong got 15 minutes and a commercial on Nitro and IT WAS GOOD. I’m in an alternate universe here. Brad was almost always at least watchable but Bagwell was a tag team guy and the same wrestler he was five years earlier, so why in the world did this get so much time? I’m not sure but it worked pretty well.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Ice Train

We’re reminded of the NWO watching Page last week. Page whispered something to Nick Patrick before this starts. The NWO (Outsiders) are in the crowd watching again. Train easily overpowers Page to start and knocks him to the floor. Page is starting to look a lot like he would during his main run. The Outsiders leave. Page guillotines him on the top and hits a top rope clothesline to take over.

Tony says Teddy has become a role model for young people all over the world. I can see the tag team matches being made on playgrounds all over the world. Sunset flip (and a bad one at that) gets two for Train. Larry says Piper vs. Hogan would be the biggest match of the 20th century. I never thought I’d say this, but Larry has been in bigger matches than that would be. Pancake puts Train down for two.

Swinging neckbreaker gets the same and a huge kickout, sending Page onto Patrick. A powerslam and two splashes get a slow two. Page gets knocked to the floor when the Outsiders come in and destroy Train with the title belts. Patrick is on the floor with Page. The champs leave and the Cutter ends this.

Rating: D+. This was more angle than match, which is something you can usually say about Teddy Long’s clients’ matches. It’s cool to see the Outsiders doing something to pull someone up and it certainly worked with Page. Was there a kayfabe reason why Patrick never went on medical leave? I never got that.

Cruiserweight Title: Dean Malenko vs. Scotty Riggs

Dean vs. Psicosis is announced for the PPV. The bell never rings so technically this is just a big prematch exhibition. Riggs has a bad shoulder coming in. Tony: “Well he’s trying to win. That’s a good sign.” Well what else would he be there for? A pottery class? Syxx pops up in the crowd as Riggs hits the post shoulder first. Riggs doesn’t seem to mind as he turns on the jets and sends Dean to the floor. There’s a plancha and back in a top rope double axe gets two. Scotty goes up again but Dean falls against the ropes and Riggs crashes onto the apron. Bagwell throws him back in and Dean gets an easy pin.

Rating: C. Not a bad match here and it foreshadows the troubles that the Males would have. Ok so maybe foreshadows is too big of a word given that they would only last like 3 weeks but you get the idea. Dean looked good here as did Riggs, and that ending fall looked awesome and painful at the same time. Decent little match.

We get a clip from last week with Mongo helping steal a win for Benoit.

Hector Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit

Hector is Eddie’s older brother and possibly even more talented. He’s also a dead ringer for Eddie if you just glance at him. I’ve often gotten them confused until I took a good look. Flair has had his surgery and Anderson is out with a back injury. On Saturday, Benoit said Sullivan is no longer the man he used to be. Sullivan pops up and says he’ll hurt Benoit in Baltimore. He’s actually talking about a house show.

Hector speeds things up and hits almost a Vader Bomb from the top rope out to the floor onto a standing Benoit. Benoit’s shoulder is still taped up. Hector works on the arm and mixes up the attack on it, because Hector Guerrero is smarter than most wrestlers. He goes to take the tape off and we take a break. After an NWO t-shirt ad, we come back to Benoit hitting a knee to put Guerrero down.

He draped Hector over the top rope with a release suplex and Guerrero is in trouble. Benoit works over the ribs and hooks an awkward abdominal stretch. Hector is basically crouched down and Benoit is bending over. Benoit hammers him down as Tony hypes up how amazing the second hour is. There’s the explosion. Hector grabs a small package for two. Guerrero speeds things up and uses a rolling tumbleweed style cradle for two. Woman breaks it up which isn’t a DQ. Benoit grabs a rollup via the distraction and uses the ropes for the pin.

Rating: C+. Another long match which again works. Benoit could move better this week which is a nice perk. Hector wouldn’t be around that much I don’t think so this was really just to avenge Eddie I guess. Nothing that great but they were moving well out there and the psychology worked so big points for that.

We look at Giant and Jarrett from last week. The Horsemen and Jarrett are in the aisle and Jeff says he’s the lead horse right now. Was he ever officially inducted? Benoit protests and says business pertaining to the Horsemen will be dealt with by a Horseman. Jarrett talks about getting WCW together as Sting watches. He just kind of goes on and on while we look at Sting.

The announcers talk about Sting.

Lee Marshall is in Florida for next week’s Nitro.

WCW Women’s Title Tournament First Round: Reina Jubuki vs. Madusa

Jubuki is Akiri Hokuto under a mask. Reina takes over quickly to start and chokes Madusa down. Another female Japanese wrestler comes out and watches. Her name is Zero apparently. Sonny Onoo rants like a heel Japanese man would in pro wrestling. Madusa hits something like what we would call the Stratusphere but Jubuki hits a release suplex and missile dropkick for two. The American grabs a quick German to pin the Japanese for the win. Too short to rate but it was way better than most modern female matches.

Michael Wallstreet vs. Chris Jericho

Wallstreet takes it to the mat quickly but Jericho works on the arm and then grabs a headlock. He tries to speed things up and Wallstreet fires him through the ropes. Tony calls the attorney of Nick Patrick a Schyster. I have a feeling there was a wink in there somewhere. Wallstreet pounds away as the announcers debate what the name Lionheart means.

Off to a chinlock and after awhile we look at the crowd. I can’t say I blame them as things got really boring all of a sudden there. Jericho comes back to break up the boring chants which were coming quickly. Missile dropkick sends Wallstreet out to the floor. Jericho gets sent into the post but as they come back in he grabs a quick small package for the pin.

Rating: D+. Nothing special here at all but they didn’t have much to go on. Jericho needed the ring time at this point and putting him in there with a veteran like Wallstreet was a good idea. This wasn’t all that bad but it’s nothing interesting at all. Basically just a way to make sure people remember who Jericho is.

Patrick and his attorney are here again and Jericho says there’s nothing wrong with the neck and that Patrick works for the NWO. Somehow this turns into an argument about Jericho’s dad playing in the NHL. Teddy comes out to yell at Patrick too. The attorney brings up Teddy being suspended while he was a referee like 8 years ago. Jericho cuts him off and says that’s the past, what Patrick is doing today.

We get a video from last week with Luger chasing after Sting to end the match with Booker.

Lex Luger vs. Booker T

Before the match we get an inset promo from Luger saying he’ll be waiting for Sting whenever he’s ready to talk. Luger grabs a delayed vertical suplex to start and seems to be more focused than he was last week. An elbow puts Booker on the floor and we take a break. Tony promises that if anything happens during the break, we’ll see it on replay. There’s no replay, so I guess we can assume that they just stayed in the same place during the break.

Powerslam gets two for Lex. Booker grabs a release Stun Gun to take over. Lex gets thrown to the floor where he takes a kick to the ribs from Sherri. Booker works on the back out on the floor. Back in the ring a hooking kick puts Luger down again. Side kick results in Booker crotching himself and Lex makes his comeback. He hits a powerslam and calls for the Rack but Booker grabs the rope. There’s a side kick to take Luger down and Colonel Parker is here to hug Sherri. An enziguri puts Lex down but Parker gets on the apron for some reason. Booker yells at him so Luger rolls him up for the pin.

Rating: D. This was a chore to sit through. The problem basically was that I don’t think anyone thought Booker was going to get a decisive win here so it was just kind of waiting around until the end of the match. That’s a very boring kind of match to watch and I stopped this whenever I could to do ANYTHING else. It wasn’t bad but it was very uninteresting.

Sting is still watching.

Eric Bischoff calls in and says that things are going well with him and Piper, but there’s no match signed, due to attorneys and agents interfering. He won’t say what’s wrong but he’s going to talk to Piper in Toronto next week. This goes on for awhile. Remember this segment. It becomes very important later.

Remember last week where we saw part of the Hogan vs. Piper showdown from Halloween Havoc but it was clipped for time? Well here’s the FULL version! That eats up ten minutes.

Here’s the NWO to end the show. Hogan demands a spotlight so he feels like he’s in California. Here’s a clip from Santa With Muscles, as we’re actually playing the “my B-movie is better than YOUR B-movie” game between Piper and Hogan. Hogan, as Santa, beats up some goons/thieves in a mall. Back in the arena, Hogan talks about the Cable Ace Awards or something and threatens to come to the ceremony and steal Ted Turner’s award. Is there a point to this at all? Hogan says Piper is scared and hiding out with Savage somewhere. He poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Well it was better than last week due to the matches and wrestling being a lot better, but at the same time, nothing happened here. That’s the problem with having a main event like the big battle royal as everyone of note is in there and there might be a few other matches on there, most of which are just midcard matches. Things pick up speed soon enough though.

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