Royal Rumble 1992
Date: January 19, 1992
Location: Knickerbocker Arena, Albany, New York
Attendance: 17,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

This year’s Rumble is often called the greatest ever, but I wonder how much of that is because of Bobby Heenan’s masterful commentary. The WWF Title is on the line in the Rumble, which to date (2012) is the only time this has ever happened. I could see that being a really good stipulation again, but for some reason it never has again. I remember loving this show so let’s get to it.

We start with the usual listing of most of the people in the Rumble, all of whom are #1 contenders I suppose.

Heenan is betting on Flair for tonight’s Rumble. Also we’ve got a NEW Intercontinental Champion as Mountie has beaten Bret Hart over the weekend. Now there’s something you don’t see everyday.

Orient Express vs. New Foundation

It’s Owen/Neidhart as the Foundation here. Owen and Kato start thing off here. All four guys look like they’re in pajamas here. Owen takes him down to the mat by the arm before climbing up the ropes (not in the corner mind you but just the ropes) to backflip into the ring for an armdrag. A rana puts Kato down and it’s off to Neidhart vs. Tanaka. Tanaka gets run over as well, so here’s Owen to beat him up.

Tanaka gets caught by an enziguri and it’s back to Neidhart. The Express gets clotheslined down by Jim and Owen adds a double cross body for two. A spinwheel kick gets the same for Hart so Kato tries to come in sans tag. The distraction lets Fuji hit Owen with the cane to finally give the Express control. Tanaka hooks a chinlock as this isn’t exactly as fast paced as last year’s opener.

Owen gets to do Bret’s chest to the buckle bump before charging into a superkick in the other corner for two. After Kato comes in and does nothing, here’s Tanaka again for a headbutt to the abdomen. A chinlock goes nowhere but a headbutt gets two on Owen. Neidhart gets the tag but the referee doesn’t see it of course. The distraction allows Fuji to put the cane on the corner and Owen’s shoulder goes through it in a loud crunch.

It only gets two though as Owen gets a leg over the rope. Kato channels his inner Anderson with a hammerlock slam before it’s back to Tanaka. Owen finally escapes and things break down for a bit, resulting in a double clothesline for two on Hart. A superkick to the chest doesn’t put Owen down, but Tanaka jumping over Kato to land on Hart’s back does. Hart comes back with a dropkick to take out both members of the Express at once. There’s the hot tag to Neidhart and house is cleaned. Owen dives onto Kato before a Rocket Launcher gets the pin on Tanaka.

Rating: B-. Decent match here but it felt like they were trying to do the same match that worked so well in 1991. The problem was the Express wasn’t anything that good anymore and the team was gone almost immediately after this. Either way, the match wasn’t bad and it’s fine for an opener. The New Foundation never quite did anything until 1994 when Owen was a heel.

We get a clip from the house show where Mountie won the IC Title from Bret. Post match he kept beating on Bret but Roddy Piper came out for the save.

Jimmy and Mountie brag about winning the title. Mountie is ready for Piper tonight.

Piper is ready for Mountie and tells Mountie to just try to take his manhood.

Intercontinental Title: Roddy Piper vs. The Mountie

Piper slowly removes his kilt and Mountie cracks jokes. When the champ turns his head, Piper shoves the kilt in his face and takes over quickly. We head to the floor with Mountie quickly reeling. Back in the ring and Mountie chokes a bit before getting punched in the face. A very delayed bulldog puts Mountie down and Piper easily wins a slugout. He misses a dropkick though and Mountie puts on a half nelson. A jumping back elbow gets two for Mountie as does a sunset flip for Piper. Piper atomic drops him to the apron but Mountie skins the cat. He also collides with Jimmy Hart and the sleeper gives Piper the title.

Rating: D. The match itself sucked but there was never any doubt about this match at all. Mountie is about as textbook a definition of a transitional champion as you’ll ever see and the place went NUTS when Piper won the title. This would be Piper’s only singles title in the WWF and his only title period (other than those before he got to the WWF in the first place) until he won the US Title in WCW for less than two weeks.

Hogan says he has no friends in the Rumble tonight. He talks to Lord Alfred Hayes about tea because Hayes is British and that’s about it.

The Bushwhackers and Jamison…..oh geez it’s him. This is one of the most annoying characters in wrestling history. He’s supposed to be the ultimate nerd, with a nasal voice, taped up glasses, a suit that doesn’t fit, and every other stereotype you can think of. Oh and he smells like sardines apparently. Let’s get this over with.

Beverly Brothers vs. Bushwhackers

This is more about the managers (Genius and Jamison respectively) more than the teams. Jamison chews on his tie as the Whackers do their arm thing to the audience. The Whackers lick each other and Jamison pulls out a roll for a snack. One of the Beverlies slaps Butch in the head so the Beverlies get chased to the floor. We FINALLY get started with Blake vs. Luke with the blonde (the Beverlies) in control.

The Beverly gets bitten on the tights and the Whackers clear the ring again. Jamison throws bread at Genius as the match stalls again. Now Jamison blows his nose in his sock. The fans don’t care at all here. Beau comes in now to beat on Butch but for the third time in like five minutes the Whackers clear the ring again. The Beverlies try to sneak up on the Whackers but keep getting chased off.

Double teaming to Luke’s back finally gets us down to a match, but let’s keep the camera on Jamison. Jamison keeps chewing on his tie as this keeps up the dullness. A guillotine gets two on Luke as we hit the highlight of the match. No seriously, other than that it’s been “comedy” and punching. Genius slaps Jamison to no reaction from anyone at all. A neckbreaker and legdrop hit Luke for no cover. Luke gets away with a move that I’m too bored to remember and it’s off to Butch. Things break down and Beau hits a top rope ax handle on Butch for the pin.

Rating: T. As in The Worst Match In Rumble History. Literally. Up to this point the Rumble has had some dull matches but this was absolutely horrible. There’s nothing of value here at all and it went on for FIFTEEN MINUTES. The Beverlies weren’t even over so this just kept going and going without ever getting anywhere. Absolutely terrible.

Jamison kicks Genius in the shin post match in another moment that gets no reaction.

The LOD says they’ll still have the belts after tonight and the Disasters’ tongues will be hanging out like dead deer. Did I mention Hawk was pretty insane at this point?

Tag Titles: Legion of Doom vs. Natural Disasters

LOD is defending here. Typhoon (formerly Tugboat) and Hawk start things off. They collide a few times with no one going anywhere so Hawk goes up and takes Typhoon down with a top rope clothesline. Off to Quake who Hawk can’t hurt either. A dropkick doesn’t have any effect so Hawk convinces Quake to try one of his own. Guess how well that one goes. Off to Animal for a slugout which is a draw.

Animal starts hitting the ropes and speeds WAY up before they hit a double clothesline to put both guys down. Animal picks up Quake for a slam but can’t turn him over, giving Quake two. Off to Typhoon who gets kicked in the face and clotheslined down. Back to the Bird Man as we get a lot more of the collisions that went over so well earlier. Typhoon finally takes him down and Hawk is in trouble via a lot of back pain.

It’s time for the hallmark of any power match: the bearhug. Quake comes back in and walks over Hawk a few times. Back to the bearhug for a little more time killing until it’s finally back to Animal. Everybody brawls to the floor and it’s a lame double countout. Oh wait Typhoon got back in so the Disasters win. Sure why not.

Rating: D. I love the LOD but this match sucked. At the end of the day, this was the totally wrong matchup for them as their entire offense revolved around throwing people around. This was around the time when Hawk was literally on the verge of a breakdown every day but Vince couldn’t quite convince then to drop the titles, until they did it on a house show which was never aired because LOD didn’t want to lose their heat. It was a different time to say the least.

The Disasters and Hart yell in the back a lot.

Roddy Piper is all fired up about winning the title and dedicates the win to his son Colt. He wants the world title now.

We get a clip from the Barber Shop incident where Shawn turned heel, igniting his singles push in the greatest team split ever.

Ric Flair says he drew #3 but when your name is Ric Flair, that’s not a problem. This is a Coliseum Video exclusive so Heenan doesn’t know yet.

Time for the interviews from people in the Rumble: Savage, Sid, Repo Man, Bulldog, Roberts, Flair (with Perfect talking with him too. You know, because Flair needs someone to talk for him), Undertaker (Bearer talks for him a bit too) and Hogan.

We get a statement from the biggest waste of oxygen that has ever been a boss in wrestling, Jack Tunney. He basically says the winner of this (he forgets the name of the Rumble) is the world champion. As he’s talking, here’s a recap of the title situation. Taker beat Hogan for the title at Survivor Series but Flair interfered. Hogan got a rematch about a week later but also kind of cheated to win it back. The title was vacated and put up for grabs in this year’s Rumble, making it by far the biggest Rumble of all time up to that point.

Royal Rumble

Davey Boy Smith is #1 and DiBiase is #2. The slugout is on quickly with Bulldog pounding away but getting sent to the apron. DiBiase stops paying attention and doesn’t realize that Smith didn’t hit the floor. A clothesline is enough to get rid of DiBiase and leave Bulldog alone in the ring. In at #3: Ric Flair. Heenan: “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!” Gorilla starts listing off stats about how Flair has no chance and Heenan explodes. He says he can’t be objective and you can hear Gorilla roll his eyes.

The gorilla press puts Flair down but he pokes Smith in the eyes to get a breather. It’s only temporary though as Davey clotheslines him down. Jerry Sags is #4 and HE BE CLUBBERIN TONY!!! Smith gets double teamed as Heenan is trying to figure out how long Flair would have to be in the match. Smith comes back with a double clothesline and knocks Sags out. Notice how they’re keeping the ring emptier here, which is a very good change from the 1991 version.

Haku is #5 and he immediately goes after Smith. Flair goes after Haku, sending Heenan into another fit. “HAVE YOU GONE NUTS???” Flair heads to the floor under the rope as Haku hits a piledriver on Smith. Flair goes after Haku again and hits the knee drop. Haku pounds on Ric in the corner but Smith tosses the Tongan. Shawn Michaels is #6 and he starts firing away punches to Flair. A superkick drops Flair and a gorilla press drops Shawn. I’ll let you guess who slammed Michaels.

Flair comes back to drop both guys as Heenan wants a drink. His panic in every line he says is great stuff. Shawn gets caught on the ropes and crotched, followed by Davey throwing him to the apron. Tito Santana is #7 as we get down to a decent tag match, another Rumble tradition. Flair gets Smith to the apron but Tito saves. In far less than two minutes, it’s Barbarian at #8. Heenan: “He doesn’t like anybody. When I managed him he barely liked me!”

Things slow down a bit as Davey keeps getting sent to the apron. Flair tries to dump Tito and Shawn at the same time but can’t get either guy out. Texas Tornado is #9 and Heenan is losing it. “THEY JUST KEEP GETTING BIGGER!” Von Erich goes right after Flair before shifting over to Michaels. Smith slingshots Michaels, who has to jump a LONG way to get to the buckle.

Santana stomps on Flair as Repo Man is #10. Santana hits a cross body on Barbarian and Flair hits Tornado with LOUD chops. Valentine is #11 and he gets in a chopping match with Flair. Shawn is literally hanging on by his feet. Nikolai Volkoff is #12 (Heenan: “A 320lb Lithuanian!” but Repo Man dumps him in about a minute. Apparently he was a sub for Jannetty after the window thing. That makes more sense. While that’s going on, Valentine has Flair in the Figure Four to send Heenan into a new level of panic.

The Boss Man is #13 and he punches everyone in sight. Valentine is out and Shawn starts his goofy selling. Boss Man throws out Repo Man, giving us a current grouping of Von Erich, Michaels, Boss Man, Haku, Santana, Smith and Flair. Flair backdrops Smith out and does the same to Von Erich in just a few seconds. Hercules is #14 as Santana and Shawn eliminate each other.

Barbarian helps Flair with Boss Man, so Flair turns on Barbarian because he, you know, Flair. Hercules dumps Barbarian so Flair dumps Hercules. It’s Boss Man and Flair alone now as Heenan needs oxygen. Boss Man hits a spin kick of all things and a right hand, but misses a charge and eliminates himself. Heenan: “FLAIR WINS!”

Piper is #15 and the crowd is right back into this. We’re clearly into the second stage now and Heenan LOSES IT. Piper backdrops him down and they head to the floor for a bit. Back in and Piper goes old school with an airplane spin, making Bobby want to cry. There’s the sleeper but Jake Roberts is #16. This is when he’s pure evil so the crowd goes into a hush. Jake sits in the corner as Flair is still in the sleeper.

Roberts finally breaks up the hold and works over Piper before hitting the short clothesline o Flair. Piper breaks up the DDT (Heenan: “Oh thank you Piper. It’s not a skirt, it’s a kilt!”) and Flair puts Jake in the Figure Four, only to have Piper stomp away on Ric (Heenan: “YOU NO GOOD DIRTY SKUNK! IT IS A SKIRT!”). Jim Duggan is #17 and he immediately goes after Flair in the corner.

Jake atomic drops Duggan to put all four guys on the mat for a breather. IRS is #18 and he too goes after Flair. Duggan grabs IRS by the tie (Heenan: “He’s got him by the tongue!”) and pounds away. Duggan saves Piper for no apparent reason and Flair gets beaten up some more. Snuka is #19 and for some reason he saves Flair. Snuka headbutts Duggan which has no effect on either guy of course. Flair, ever the grateful guy, pokes Snuka in the eye.

Piper chops Flair half to death in the corner and the Undertaker is #20. At the moment we’ve got Taker, Flair, Piper, Snuka, IRS, Roberts and Duggan in the ring. Taker immediately knocks out Snuka, so Flair goes after the Dead Man. Heenan: “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???” Duggan goes over to Taker and is immediately kicked in the balls. We get one of the major clock issues that would happen throughout the match, as Gorilla says Flair has been in there over 42 minutes. The whole match hasn’t even gone 38 yet and Flair didn’t even start. This will get stretched even farther later.

IRS goes to the middle rope for some reason but hops down a few seconds later. Taker grabs Duggan and Flair by the throat as Randy Savage is #21. Roberts immediately hides on the floor until Taker decks Savage. Randy ducks Jake’s short clothesline and ERUPTS on him, eliminating Roberts via a high knee. Savage screws up by jumping over the top to get to Roberts. Taker goes to the floor and throws him back in, but Savage goes after Jake again. The ruling is that Savage wasn’t thrown to the floor so he’s still in. Ignore Andre eliminating himself in 1989 of course.

Flair comes back with a low blow on Taker which has zero effect at all. Berzerker is #22 and we’ve got IRS, Berzerker, Duggan, Savage, Flair, Piper and Undertaker. Berzerker hits a choke bomb on Savage as Virgil is #23. Everyone goes into one corner of the ring for some reason, with Flair chopping at Taker like a schmuck. Colonel Mustafa (Iron Sheik) is #24. Things slow down a bit as we need someone to come in and clear things out. Rick Martel is #25 and he pounds on the other Ric in the corner.

Savage dumps Mustafa and gets chokes by Taker for his efforts. Hogan is #26 (does he EVER get a bad number?) and he goes right for Taker and Flair. Heenan starts bargaining with God as Martel is sent through the ropes to the floor. Hogan clotheslines Taker out and dumps Berzerker as well. Duggan and Virgil put each other out as the ring clears up a lot. Skinner is #27, giving us Skinner, Hogan, Flair, Piper, Savage, Martel and IRS.

Hogan puts Flair on the apron as Heenan wants another drink. A clothesline puts Flair down again and Sgt. Slaughter is #28. Someone dumps Skinner as Flair officially gets the Rumble record. Sure why not. Sid Justice is #29 and he goes for IRS. Flair pounds on Hogan before shifting over to Sid. Flair pulls Sid to the mat but Sid nips up and clotheslines him down. Warlord is #30, giving us a final grouping of Martel, Piper, Hogan, Flair, Savage, Sid, Slaughter, IRS and Warlord.

Hogan and Flair fight on the floor with Flair getting suplexed. Slaughter gets eliminated by Sid and Hogan kicks Flair down. Piper is sent to the apron by IRS but Piper grabs the tie to eliminate the tax dude. Hogan Hulks Up on Flair but stops to eliminate Warlord with Sid’s help. Justice dumps Martel and Piper, giving us a final four of Savage, Flair, Hogan and Sid. That’s quite a group.

Sid tosses Savage and Flair tries to chop Hogan in the corner because that’s what Ric Flair does. In a famous ending, Hogan punches Flair to the apron but as he’s dumping Ric out, Sid comes up from behind to dump Hulk. Hogan grabs Sid’s arm, allowing Flair to come up from behind and dump Justice, giving Flair the title and send Bobby into orgasmic bliss.

Rating: A. This is Ric Flair’s coming out party in the WWF and it worked perfectly. There are a few down parts to it and while the 1990 edition was more consistently exciting and had a better overall structure, this was all about drama. It also helps that the match actually meant something, as the title was officially on the line. Excellent Rumble and a true surprise to see Flair win the title.

Sid and Hogan have a shoving match post match, setting up their match at Wrestlemania.

Jack Tunney presents an exhausted Flair with the title in the back. Flair gives a victory speech, saying this is the greatest moment in his life. He says this is the only title that means you’re the best in the world and Heenan gushes some more.

Overall Rating: B. This is a hard one to grade because the stuff before the Rumble is HORRIBLE. The Rumble however is a masterpiece with Flair and it more than saves the show. There’s nothing else on the card that you would want to watch, other than maybe the Piper title win if you’re a big fan of the guy. Other than that though, there’s nothing to see here other than the Rumble itself.

Ratings Comparison

New Foundation vs. Orient Express

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Roddy Piper vs. Mountie

Original: B

Redo: D

Beverly Brothers vs. Bushwhackers

Original: F-

Redo: T (For The Worst Match In Rumble History)

Natural Disasters vs. Legion of Doom

Original: D

Redo: D

Royal Rumble

Original: A+

Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: B

Other than Piper, this is almost the same set of ratings.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/11/royal-rumble-count-up-1992/

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Royal Rumble 1990
Date: January 21, 1990
Location: Orlando Arena, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 16,000
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jesse Ventura

We hit the 90s and there’s a bit of a new feel to the company with that new decade. Things are now being made to look a little newer and it’s probably a good thing that they are. Oh and there’s also probably the biggest moment in the Rumble for…..arguably ever actually so there’s that to look forward to. Let’s get to it.

We get the list of almost everyone in the Rumble to start just like last year.

Jesse Ventura in Mickey Mouse Ears is a scary sight.

Buschwhackers vs. Fabulous Rougeaus

We get ALL AMERICAN BOYS for the Rougeaus and Jacques has his MANLY beard. This is a Wrestlemania rematch from the previous year. We start with Butch vs. Ray and while this may sound like a stretch, I think this might be a comedy match. A quick sleeper by Ray is broken up and it’s time to bite the trunks as well as the referee for some reason. The Whackers clear the ring but Jacques hits the floor to avoid the Battering Ram.

Off to Luke vs. Jacques, with Luke taking a bite out of his nose. Jacques says hit me in the face, so Luke charges with a clothesline and hits Ray instead. Things slow down again and the Rougeaus easily distract Luke, allowing Ray to jump him for two. Ray comes in for real and kicks Luke down for two more. Luke is sent to the floor and goes back first into the apron. This match is already dragging.

Back in and Luke bites some more but it doesn’t get him anywhere. Luke gets rammed into the corner a bit, drawing Butch in which allows even more double teaming. We hit the chinlock followed by an abdominal stretch from Jacques. Now it’s off to a reverse chinlock to keep things slow.

We get the Arn Anderson cannonball drop onto a guy on the mat but the guy on the mat gets his knees up to crush Arn’s balls spot, followed by a hot tag to Butch. The Rougeaus are sent into each other and Jimmy Hart gets involved and beaten up. Jacques gets a quick rollup for two and Ray puts a Boston Crab on Butch. With the Rougeaus hugging for some reason, the Battering Ram to the back of Ray is enough for the pin by Butch.

Rating: D+. This was WAY too long at nearly fourteen minutes. The idea behind comedy matches is to keep things quick so that people don’t realize that half of the stuff you see here is stupid. The Rougeaus clearly didn’t care anymore and this would be the last match of Ray’s career. Jacques would go on to be the Mountie and win the Intercontinental Title, in one of the biggest surprises ever. Well not really but it was pretty surprising.

Gene is with DiBiase and Virgil and Ted is annoyed. Gene brings up the shenanigans last year with Ted “drawing” number thirty, but this year there’s additional security. Virgil drew the number for DiBiase and he got number 1. DiBiase’s “Let me tell you something little man” is a GREAT delivery as he’s so great at talking down to people.

The Genius vs. Brutus Beefcake

If you’re not familiar with Genius, think Damien Sandow if he read WWF themed poetry. Oh and he’s a jobber. And Macho Man’s real life brother. Genius offers a left-handed handshake but Brutus isn’t interested. Jesse gets on Tony about Genius beating Hogan via countout on SNME. Tony: “Well…..” Jesse: “WHO WON THE MATCH???” Genius heads to the floor for a cartwheel and we finally get the first lockup.

We get a clean break and Beefcake tells Genius what he can kiss. They lock up again and Genius goes to the eyes to get the first advantage. Beefcake comes out with an atomic drop and Genius gets to do his way overdone selling. I miss that. Back in and Genius fires off some shockingly good punches so Brutus comes back with an even bigger punch. Expect to hear the word punch a lot in this match.

Beefcake steps on Genius’ fingers like a total jerk and crotches Genius on the top rope. Half of Beefcake’s taunts would get him fired today for suggesting that Genius is effeminate. We go back to the standard story of the match: Genius gets in some strikes, Brutus hits him once to take over again. A dropkick gets two for Genius as does a rollup, but Brutus catches him coming off the middle rope with a punch to the ribs.

There’s the sleeper but Genius quickly escapes. Another sleeper attempt is quickly countered, but the Genius is knocked into the referee. Ref bumps weren’t cliched back in the 80s, so this is kind of a big development. Anyway the sleeper goes on again and Genius is going down quickly. Brutus puts him out and starts cutting his hair, but Genius’ buddy Mr. Perfect comes out for the save and the DQ.

Rating: D. This is one of those matches that was bad but it was energetic. For as much of a mess as Brutus would become in real life, the guy could get the fans fired up. That’s pretty impressive as he was almost all punching and a sleeper. This was pretty lame stuff but the fans loved it which is the right idea.

Perfect and Genius DESTROY Brutus’ ribs with the chair post match.

Sean Mooney is with the Heenan Family and suggests that they could fight each other. An argument ensues. That’s what Mooney was good at: ticking people off.

A show is coming. It’s called Wrestlemania.

Greg Valentine vs. Ronnie Garvin

This is a submission match as they both use submissions for a finisher. See? Not that complicated. Now the interesting thing here is that both guys have shin guards (Garvin even has his named: the Hammer Jammer) which blocks the pain of a Figure Four. They slug it out to start with Valentine being rammed into the buckles repeatedly. Greg comes back with chops and they slug it out in the middle of the ring.

It turns into a boxing match until Valentine goes after the leg. That gets him a thumb in the eye and they slug it out some more with both guys going down via a Garvin headbutt. Ronnie tries a sunset flip for reasons of stupidity and Valentine tries a cover of his own. Both guys go down again as this match is already running too long. Garvin rolls him up again to REALLY make it clear that it’s a submission match. See, wrestling fans are stupid and can’t understand the basic explanation of the rules.

Valentine adjusts his own shin guard (the Heartbreaker) and puts Garvin in the Figure Four. Ronnie’s guard blocks the pain, so Garvin makes funny faces at Valentine. Since that doesn’t work, Valentine puts on an over the shoulder backbreaker, much to Jesse’s delight (his old hold). Garvin pounds away in the corner and puts on an Indian Deathlock which has an effect on Greg but Valentine finally makes a rope.

They slug it out for the fifth time, although this one is at least on the floor. Valentine backdrops out of a piledriver on the concrete and we head back inside. Garvin misses a dropkick in the corner and gets caught in the Tree of Woe. That goes nowhere so they collide again and both guys go down. Hart steals Garvin’s shin guard and there’s the Figure Four. After a rope is grabbed, Garvin can’t even stand up.

Valentine goes up and Garvin slams him down from one leg. He takes off Valentine’s shin guard and tries a rollup because Ronnie is STUPID. Valentine gets tied up in the ropes so Garvin beats up Hart for fun. A shin guard shot to the head knocks out Valentine and the Sharpshooter (called a reverse Figure Four) makes Valentine give up.

Rating: C+. Not a bad match here and it was even good at times, but MAN it was long, running nearly seventeen minutes. On top of that, the stupid pin thing went WAY too long into the match. This is probably the best Garvin match I’ve ever seen, but that doesn’t really mean much as he absolutely sucks most of the time.

Mr. Perfect doesn’t like Beefcake trying to take advantage of the Genius and we get a look at the chair attack from earlier tonight. Perfect says he got #30 in the Rumble. Well he is perfect after all.

It’s time for the Brother Love Show. You might know Love as Bruce Prichard, or one of the Gut Check judges on Impact. This is his most famous role, as a parody of 80s televangelists. He talks about what it means to be a lady, and brings out the woman whose picture is in the dictionary next to the word lady: Queen Sherri. Love sucks up to her and says he also looked up the word peasant in the Book of Love. The Book of Love is the dictionary?

Anyway the point is Sapphire (Dusty’s chick) is the definition of a peasant, making her fat and ugly. Sapphire comes out and they make fun of her looks, clothes and whatever else you would expect them to make fun of, while not letting Sapphire say a word at all. Now they make fun of Dusty for being fat and Sapphire finally blasts Sherri. Savage and Dusty come out and it’s a big brawl. Even Brother Love gets in on it until security breaks it up. A dance party ensues between Dusty and Sapphire, resulting in Love being thrown to the floor.

Duggan doesn’t have much to say about his match with Boss Man.

Big Boss Man vs. Jim Duggan

Boss Man has clearly lost a TON of weight since last year and he looks much better as a result. Duggan knocks him to the floor in a bump that Boss Man couldn’t have taken a year ago. They slug it out on the floor with Duggan taking over for a bit. Back inside and Boss Man reverses a whip before crushing Duggan with a splash. Boss Man busts out an ENZIGURI to put Duggan down again. It really is amazing to see how much better Boss Man looks after being a big fat blob last year at this show.

Boss Man hits his running crotch attack on the ropes to keep Duggan in trouble but he makes the mistake of ramming Jim face first into the buckles. Duggan’s comeback is short lived though as Boss Man hits him in the back to take over again. He cannonballs down on Duggan’s ribs as this is a good physical fight so far.

That of course comes to a screeching halt as we hit a neck crank by the cop. Duggan fights up and makes a quick comeback, only to get caught by a knee lift to the ribs. Back to the neck crank followed by a bearhug which Duggan fails to break with some smacks to the head. Instead he falls into the ropes and the brawl continues.

They slug it out some more and Duggan clotheslines him out to the floor. Back in and more punching (notice a theme here?) ensues by Jim. Boss Man comes back with a clothesline but misses a top rope splash. They collide again to put both guys down but Slick slips the nightstick to Boss Man which draws the DQ.

Rating: C+. They definitely made the right move here by going with a pure brawl instead of anything resembling a wrestling match. The fans absolutely love Jim Duggan so there was no way the crowd wasn’t going to be into this. Not a good match from a quality standpoint, but it was very fun which is the better way to go sometimes.

Wrestlemania is still coming.

We get some promos from guys in the Rumble, most of which are spent talking about whoever they’re feuding with at the time: Earthquake, Bravo, Demolition, Bad News Brown, Dusty Rhodes, the Rockers, Hercules (calling it the Rumble Royal, which was the original name for the show actually), Rick Martel, Tito Santana, Snuka, Akeem (Slick does the talking) and Warrior (Intercontinental Champion), who talks about Hulk Hogan. This would have given fans chills up their spine at the thought of it happening but then they would say “Nah, that couldn’t happen.”

More promos as we’re in intermission: Savage, the Powers of Pain (Fuji does the talking), Roberts, the Hart Foundation, Honky Tonk Man and Hogan (WWF Champion of course) who looks either bloated or high as a kite.

Royal Rumble

DiBiase is #1 and Koko B. Ware is #2. Ted jumps Koko as he gets in and stomps him down. The beating goes on for awhile until trying to ram Koko’s head into the buckle, which has no effect. See Koko is black and in WWF logic, that means he has a hard head. Koko fights back and misses a charge, sending him to the floor. Marty Jannetty is in at #3 and in literally one second less time, basically the exact same thing happens as did to Koko (minus the racial aspects) and Marty goes out.

Jake Roberts is #4 and they fight on the floor which I think is a first in the Rumble. DiBiase slams him on the floor before they head back inside. A backdrop puts DiBiase down but the DDT is countered into another backdrop. They keep brawling and #5 is Randy Savage. DiBiase and Savage forget their past hatred to double team Jake for awhile until Roddy Piper is #6, setting up one of those AWESOME tag matches we never got. Seriously, that would be excellent on a Coliseum Video.

Piper and Jake beat up the heels, nearly punch each other, and then beat up the heels even more. The energy for this match is WAY better than the previous two years, which is saying a lot. Warlord is #7 and he should be solid cannon fodder for some of these guys. Piper pairs off with him as DiBiase and Savage continue their beatdown on Roberts. Roddy makes the save until Bret Hart is #8, drawing a BIG pop.

We get a six man tag for all intents and purposes, which would be another pretty interesting one with Bret being there to bump like crazy for Warlord. Bret goes after Savage, which would be great like their match on SNME. Bad News is #9 as the good run of talent continues. Jake loads up a DDT on DiBiase but Savage clotheslines him out, which is probably a good idea given how many people we’ve got out there.

Dusty Rhodes is #10 and the place continues to erupt. He heads right for Savage as you would expect him do and it’s elbows a go-go. A backdrop puts Savage out and we get Brown vs. Dusty for awhile, which I’m not sure what to think of. DiBiase takes Brown’s place which is probably the right idea. Andre is #11 and the fans aren’t sure what to think of this. Warlord goes right to him and gets tossed to a big pop. The fans still love the Giant.

Heenan and Fuji get into a fight on the floor as Andre rams Piper and Dusty’s heads together before crushing them in the corner. They come back on him and it’s the Red Rooster at #12. Even HE gets a bit of a pop before people realize that’s who just came out. Piper eliminates Brown but Brown comes back to the apron and eliminates Piper. They brawl to the back, setting up one of the strangest matches you’ll ever see at Mania.

Andre beats up Rooster and tosses him out as Ax is #13. Their teams are fighting over the tag titles at this point so there’s a story there. Hart and Rhodes try to throw out DiBiase and we get the traditional Andre is tied up in the ropes spot. Haku, Andre’s partner, is #14. Andre stands on Ax as Haku beats on Dusty. Things slow down a bit, which is understandable after the very hot first twenty minutes.

Smash is #15, giving us a group of Ax, Smash, Haku, Andre, Hart, DiBiase and Dusty. Demolition demolishes Andre down for the second time in two years before going off to beat on Haku. Rhodes and Hart beat on Dusty as people swap partners a bit. Akeem is #16 to give us another big fat guy in there. He goes after the Giant, but it’s a Demolition double clothesline that eliminates Andre. I’ve always loved that moment. Bret went out somewhere in there too.

Here’s Snuka at #17 to go after Akeem and take him out with a running headbutt. Ted and Dusty hammer away on each other a bit more until Dino Bravo is #18 with his manly powder blood trunks. Demolition beats up DiBiase and Earthquake is #19. There’s another team getting back to back numbers. Rhodes is out at Earthquake’s hands, as is Ax. Neidhart is #20, giving us Neidhart, Earthquake, Haku, Bravo, Snuka, Smash and DiBiase. Everyone gangs up on Earthquake and eliminates him, much to Bravo’s chagrin.

Neidhart and Smash work together on DiBiase, which would be unthinkable in about eight months. Here’s Warrior at #21 to go right after Bravo. They’ve got a bit of a feud going right now so Warrior dumps him with ease. Things slow down until Martel is in at #22. Haku backdrops Smash to the apron and superkicks him out. We were getting too many people in there so that’s a good idea.

Tito is #23 and of course we get a Strike Force battle, as they feuded for like, ever. Honky Tonk Man is #24 as things slow down a bit. We need another blast of energy in this soon. A bunch of people get together and dump Neidhart and Warrior clotheslines DiBiase out, giving him a new Iron Man record at just under 45 minutes. At the moment we’ve got Warrior, Honky, Martel, Santana, Snuka and Haku. Remember that blast of energy I said we needed? Hulk Hogan is #25.

Snuka goes after him and is immediately put out. Haku takes a big boot and is gone. Warrior and Martel dump Santana and we’re down to four in the ring. Shawn Michaels is #26. Hogan dumps Honky and it occurs to me that for some reason the entrance music for people stopped after like #6. Hogan dumps Honky, Warrior dumps Shawn and Martel and there are only two left in the ring.

This is the moment that changed the course of wrestling for a LONG time. You often hear the expression “everyone is on their feet”. In this case, that’s literally true as the place goes nuts and everyone in unison stands up. It’s a really cool visual and proof that this would work for Wrestlemania. They collide a few times and no one moves.

We get a criss cross to set up a double clothesline to put both guys down and the place is eating this up. As I said, this changed wrestling because we now have a Wrestlemania main event, instead of the potential Hogan vs. Zeus or Hogan vs. Perfect. Perfect is great, but it wouldn’t have worked as the main event in front of 67,000 people. Anyway Barbarian comes in at #27 and doesn’t do much so Rick Rude comes in like twenty second early at #28. I’ve always wondered if that was intentional to prevent more of just Hogan vs. Warrior.

The heels double team Hogan to put him down but Warrior saves. They beat up Warrior a bit until Hogan Hulks Up and goes to the corner, eliminating Warrior in the process. Hercules is #29, which is pretty awesome luck as he got #28 the year before. Hogan tries to put Barbarian out but gets poked in the eye. Perfect is #30, giving us a final five of Hogan, Rude, Barbarian, Hercules and Perfect.

Hercules backdrops Barbarian out to get us down to four and we pair off with Herc vs. Rude and Perfect vs. Hogan. Rude backdrops the power dude out and we’re down to a handicap match. I think you can see how this is going to end. A quick double team ends with Perfect getting punched to the apron by Rude. Perfect low bridges Rude out and we’re down to two. Hennig pounds away and hits the PerfectPlex but it’s time for more Hulking Up. Slingshot into the post, clothesline, Hogan wins.

Rating: A-. THIS IS MORE LIKE IT! They totally got the formula down here and had a white hot crowd to do it in front of. The first twenty minutes or so here are just about perfect with a ton of talented guys working HARD. The next big drags just slightly but certainly aren’t bad, and then things went through the roof with Hogan vs. Warrior and the ending. Perfect was supposed to win here, but Hogan vetoed it and got the win himself. The more I think about that the less I dislike it because after the first two matches, you almost had to have a main eventer win this. Either way, great stuff here and one of the best Rumbles ever.

Overall Rating: B-. This is one of those tricky shows to rate as you have four pretty weak matches to start things off, but the Rumble is great and is longer than all four other matches combined. The Rumble is all that mattered here anyway and we got a great one to really establish a standard for the match for years to come. Also Wrestlemania is shaping up really well, so I don’t have many complaints here at all. Good stuff.

Ratings Comparison

Bushwhackers vs. Fabulous Rougeaus

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Brutus Beefcake vs. The Genius

Original: C+

Redo: D

Ronnie Garvin vs. Greg Valentine

Original: F (Biased). B- (Unbiase).

Redo: C+

Jim Duggan vs. Big Boss Man

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Royal Rumble

Original: A-

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: B-

Dang the weight of the Rumble has gone way up in the last few years.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/09/royal-rumble-count-up-1990/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of In Your House at Amazon for just $4 at:

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This is the original biggest show ever and it actually lives up to the billing.  The main event is Ric Flair vs. Harley Race inside a cage in one of the biggest storylines ever at that point.

Starrcade 1983
Date: November 24, 1983
Location: Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, North Carolina
Attendance: 15,447
Commentators: Gordon Solie, Bob Caudle

 

As mentioned, this was all about Race vs. Flair. Even the show’s title (A Flair for the Gold) was focused on that one match. Aside from that, the rest of the show was pretty much a big Mid-Atlantic house show. There was a world tag team title match between the Brisco Brothers and Ricky Steamboat/Jay Youngblood and Roddy Piper vs. US Champion Greg Valentine in a non-title dog collar match. The rest of the card pretty much was thrown together and had little to do with ongoing storylines. Let’s get to it.

 

There isn’t much in the way of an intro. We open on a shot of the arena and the announcer says “THIS IS STARRCADE!” That’s a very simple yet awesome way to say it.

 

The Assassins vs. Rufus R. Jones/Bugsy McGraw

 

This is one of those matches with no given story behind it. Jones is the reigning Mid-Atlantic Heavyweight Champion at this point, McGraw is a fat guy and the Assassins are guys in black sweaters and pants with yellow masks. They’re called Assassin #1 and #2 so it’s not going to be easy to remember which is which. Bugsy starts with we’ll say #1 and the match is shockingly fast paced to begin. Bugsy drops him with a shoulder block but both guys miss elbow drops. A slam sends #1 to the floor and the fans are VERY into McGraw.

 

Back in and they lock up with McGraw hitting a quick elbow to the head before pounding away on #1 over and over to knock him into the corner. Here’s Assassin #2 who is much smaller than his partner. Another slam puts #2 down and it’s off to Rufus for an even louder ovation. He gyrates a lot and pounds away as the cameraman seems to slip, sending the shot all over the place. Rufus works on #2’s arm with some headbutts before it’s back to Bugsy.

 

The Assassins make a tag but #1 winds up running away from McGraw instead of fighting him. #1 grabs the wrist and cranks on it a bit but Bugsy looks much more annoyed than anything else. Bugsy elbows his way out of trouble and brings Rufus back in for more headbutts to the shoulder. Jones pounds on #1 in the corner and knocks him down with a hard Irish whip. Assassin rakes him in the eye to finally take over but the advantage lasts for all of ten seconds before Jones fires off some headbutts to the ribs.

 

Back to Bugsy for some wild punches to take over. Everything breaks down until it’s just McGraw backdropping I think #1. In a pretty bad ending, #2 causally walks into the ring and rolls up McGraw for the fluke win. The referee seemed to be perfectly fine with the lack of tagging there.

 

Rating: D. The match sucked but the crowd reactions for McGraw/Jones were great. I have no idea what the point was in having the Assassins win here was as they were in control for roughly ten seconds out of just over eight minutes. Nothing to see here at all and the ending sucked the life out of the crowd.

 

The announcers talk about how great this show is and hype up the main event a little bit more. Apparently Dusty Rhodes is going to challenge the winner.

 

Tony Schiavone (long time WCW commentator making his debut tonight) is in the back as the good guys are warming up for their matches later, including both Flair and Piper.

 

Kevin Sullivan/Mark Lewin vs. Scott McGhee/Johnny Weaver

 

McGhee and Sullivan get things going meaning we don’t have a tall man in the ring at all. Off to Lewin to slap McGhee in the back and tag out to Sullivan again. Weaver gets the tag and we get a crisscross resulting in Sullivan holding onto the ropes to avoid a right hand. Lewin comes back in but Weaver starts cranking on his arm to gain control. Off to Scott again as Lewin isn’t sure what to do.

 

Mark and Kevin start tagging in and out very quickly to work on Scott’s arm with knees and chops to the shoulder. Lewin comes in to crank on both arms at once but Scott manages to make a tag while still in the hold. That would be very impressive but the tag doesn’t count as the referee didn’t see it. Lewin and Sullivan stay on the arm before it’s a nerve hold by Mark. Sullivan comes back in but lets McGhee go long enough for the hot tag to Weaver. Johnny cleans house but has his bulldog broken up by Sullivan. Now it’s Weaver getting pounded down and Lewin comes in off the top rope with a knee to the arm….for the pin? Seriously?

 

Rating: C-. It was better than the opener but not by much. The arm stuff was fine although the ending was out of nowhere. Sullivan just held the arm while Lewin jumped onto it for the pin. The match wasn’t bad but we’re now a fourth of the way through the show and no good guy has won yet. That’s some questionable booking.

 

Post match Sullivan and Lewin’s manager Gary Hart throws in a spike and McGhee is stabbed in the head, busting him open. Huge referee Angelo Mosca gets beaten down for a bit before making the save.

 

Some fans from South Carolina are in the front row and are very polite about being here.

 

Harley Race is his usual calm and collected self and says he knows all of Flair’s injuries. He’s coming after them tonight.

 

Abdullah the Butcher vs. Carlos Colon

 

This was a MEGA feud in Puerto Rico where the match was allegedly banned from ever happening again, despite the two feuding on and off on the island for the next ten years or so. Abdullah looks exactly the same here as he’d look for years to come. Butcher shoves Colon into the corner to start and pounds away on him against the ropes. It looks like Abdullah has something in his hand to jab Carlos in the head with.

 

Carlos comes back with some right hands and an object of his own. Colon fires off some shots the ample gut and gets two off a legdrop. Butcher kicks Carlos off of a near fall and the referee is crushed in the process. Colon puts on the Figure Four but Butcher’s manager Hugo Savonovich rakes Carlos’ eyes, giving Butcher the pin.

 

Rating: D+. Just a brawl here for the most part which never got wild in the slightest. Butcher was there because he could bleed a lot and look like a mess at the end of the match. Carlos was somewhat known here but the fans weren’t quite sure what to make of the match as neither guy was all that well known in this area. This was about three minutes of punching and then a finish though, which makes for a dull match.

 

Angelo Mosca is furious but says he’s going to be the referee in the world tag title match later. He’s going on a crusade for people like his son so he doesn’t have to deal with people like Sullivan and Lewin. The camera pans back to see Scott McGhee covered in blood and looking completely unconscious in a disturbing visual. Oh and Mosca picks Flair to win tonight.

 

More fans pick Flair to win tonight.

 

Wahoo McDaniel/Mark Youngblood vs. Dick Slater/Bob Orton

 

Slater and Orton put Flair out with a broken neck and McDaniel and Youngblood are Flair’s friends, here for revenge. Youngblood and McDaniel are both Native Americans so they come to the ring in big headdresses. Before the bell Dusty Rhodes is introduced to the live crowd for no apparent reason. Wahoo and Slater start things off with McDaniel quickly throwing him over the top and out onto the apron.

 

Back in and Wahoo works on the arm before it’s off to Mark for some arm work of his own. We cut to an overhead camera view which is pretty disorienting. Slater is slammed down but comes back with a quick rollup for two. Mark puts on a hammerlock as we go back to the overhead view. Slater is kicked to the apron again but comes back in with a Russian legsweep for two. Orton comes in with a knee to the back and it’s Youngblood in trouble.

 

A gorilla press backbreaker has Youngblood down again but Bob misses an elbow. After a quick chase on the floor, Orton brings Slater back in after only a brief rest on the apron. Actually scratch that again as the tag doesn’t count for some reason. It’s very clear that the tag team formula hasn’t been invented yet. A crisscross results in a backbreaker to Youngblood and a tag off to Slater. There’s a gutwrench suplex for two on Mark and he falls to the floor for some stomping by Orton.

 

Youngblood breaks the count by a second but the punishment to the back continues with a reverse chinlock. Orton lets go on the hold and stomps him in the face for good measure. Slater comes in and breaks up a tag before suplexing Mark down for two. Back up and they bang heads, allowing for the hot tag to Wahoo. He cleans house with an atomic drop on Orton and a big chop for good measure.

 

Everything breaks down and it’s Wahoo getting double teamed for a change. A belly to back suplex gets several two counts for Dick before it’s back to Orton. Bob misses a headbutt and it’s off to Mark who speeds things up almost immediately. Wahoo is sent to the floor and Youngblood has to fight off both villains on his own. After a quick double beating, Orton hits Youngblood with the superplex for the pin.

 

Rating: C. Not a terrible match here but the majority of it was Slater and Orton toying with Youngblood and McDaniel which doesn’t make for very entertaining action. I’m not sure what sort of revenge this gets for Flair and it makes the Native Americans look pretty lame. Also this is the fourth straight loss for the good guys here.

 

The winners injure Wahoo’s arm post match.

 

Flair is in the back with Ricky Steamboat and Jay Youngblood who are getting ready for their matches later. In a rare sight, Flair is very calm and collected before the main event. He wishes the other two luck. Youngblood and Steamboat are ready too and promises to win the tag belts again.

 

Dusty Rhodes…..has technical difficulties but I think he’s talking about wanting the first shot at the winner. Expect to hear things like this a lot, as Dusty had a big issue with making everything about himself and not the guys that the show was supposed to be focusing on.

 

TV Title: Charlie Brown vs. Great Kabuki

 

This has a lot of stuff to mention. First of all, Kabuki is defending. Second of all, Brown is Jimmy Valiant under a mask, but given that he has Valiant’s foot and a half long beard, it’s clearly him. Also this is a sixty minute time limit but the title is only on the line for the first fifteen minutes which I’ve never heard of before. The referee is in jeans here too which isn’t something you often see. Finally this is mask vs. title, but again I think that’s only for fifteen minutes.

 

Kabuki is sent to the floor but Brown is all over him, sending the champion into the post and chasing him with a chair. Kabuki gets crotched against the post and it’s time to dance back inside. Brown chokes away and pounds away before putting on a sleeper hold. Kabuki goes for the mask to escape but Brown puts the hold back on almost immediately. The champion’s manager Gary Hart puts Kabuki’s foot on the ropes for the break and Brown yells a lot.

 

Kabuki comes back with a kick to the chest and some chops to take over before putting on a claw hold. Brown escapes and backdrops Kabuki down, only to have the champion come back with another claw hold. Charlie fights up again but he’s too dazed to follow up. Back to the claw for the third time but Kabuki lets it go for no apparent reason. A top rope chop to the head gets two on Brown so Kabuki goes after the mask again. Another kick puts Brown down but he fights up, avoids a kick in the corner and drops an elbow for the pin and the title out of nowhere.

 

Rating: D. Another dull match here but we finally get a victory for a good guy. The majority of this match was spent with Brown laying on the mat in a hold which doesn’t make for an interesting match whatsoever. Brown would become Jimmy Valiant again soon and had to drop the title as a result. Nothing to see here but the good stuff is coming.

 

Caudle and Solie talk to a local radio show host who predicts Flair winning. Does ANYBODY think Race is winning? The announcers run down the rest of the card. Both guys look and sound like great announcers which they both are for the most part. Solie talks about being saved by Roddy Piper during a brawl so he’s backing Piper in the dog collar match.

 

Slater and Orton talk about the bounty they collected and think Race is retaining the gold. Race says these two men know Flair better than anyone so he’s as ready as he can be.

 

Dusty (noticing a pattern here?) says that he wants the first shot at the new champion. He picks Flair too after talking about how great his own career has been for a minute or so.

 

Roddy Piper vs. Greg Valentine

 

Greg is US Champion but this is non-title because it’s a dog collar match. The idea is they both have collars around their neck and there’s a chain attaching the two collars, meaning neither guy can run away. Anything goes and you can win by pinfall. This match came about because Valentine injured Piper’s ear in the match where he won the title. They immediately start by pulling on the chain with their necks in a painful looking tug of war. Neither guy can get an advantage so they both start pulling on the chain to get closer to each other.

 

Piper gets in the first shot with the chain and Valentine is mad. They back up again but Valentine misses some swings and Piper gets back to the corner. Both guys come to the center of the ring for a slugout but no one can take over. Roddy gets in some shots with the chain and Valentine is in trouble. Greg goes for the bad ear and start choking away with the chain but also wrapping the chain around Piper’s face for extra torture.

 

Piper comes back with some shots to the eyes of his own before choking away in the middle of the ring. Valentine is sent into the corner and Piper keeps pounding away on the head. Piper takes it to the floor for some HARD shots with the chain as they head into the barricade. Greg gets in some shots to the bad ear and Piper is bleeding from the side of his head.

 

Back in and Valentine pounds away but Piper blocks a suplex. A hard elbow gets two for Valentine but Piper is in big trouble. Greg tries to hit the ropes but Piper pulls the chain to bring him down. Piper goes NUTS on Valentine and pounds away on him, busting the champion open in the process. Valentine goes right back to the ear but Piper comes back with some straight left hands to the jaw. A BIG right hand drops Valentine but Greg goes after the ear again to take over. Greg gets two off a knee drop as both guys are tiring.

 

A chain shot to Piper’s ear gets two but Roddy comes back with a suplex to put both guys down. Greg grabs a quick sleeper but Piper’s arm only drops once. Roddy wraps the chain around his hand but the hold slows him down again. A jawbreaker gets Piper out of the hold but it’s Valentine going up first. Roddy pulls him off the ropes and beats the tar out of him with the chain before tying the legs up to pin Valentine. Solie says that was for the title but corrects himself a few seconds later.

 

Rating: B+. This is a very hard hitting brawl but it can be a bit slow at times. This is the match that made people realize how insane Piper could be as he went out there and took an insane beating before coming back time after time and trying to hurt Valentine. He would jump to the WWF soon after and become the top villain in the world, which is what he deserved to be.

 

Post match Valentine jumps Piper and chokes him with the chain.

 

Flair gets I think his third interview of the night, this time with Wahoo McDaniel next to him, says that he’s coming for Race, Slater and Orton. He wants the best from Race tonight.

 

Don Kernoodle, former world tag team champion, wants to see Flair win.

 

Tag Titles: Ricky Steamboat/Jay Youngblood vs. Brisco Brothers

 

The Brothers would be Jerry, who you might remember as one of Vince’s Stooges in the Attitude Era and the legendary former world champion Jack. They’re defending here against the guys they took the belts from. Jack and Steamboat start things off in what sounds like a dream match. It’s a feeling out process to start with neither guy being able to get any kind of advantage to start. Steamboat does some fast leapfrogs but Brisco grabs the ropes to avoid a chop. Mosca, the big guy mentioned earlier, is referee here.

 

Jerry comes in to work on the arm for a bit before it’s back to Jack for an armbar. Jerry comes in again and pounds away in the corner but Ricky chops him down and tags in Jay. Youngblood counters a slam into an armdrag on Jerry before bringing Steamboat back in to pound on the arm as well. Jay jumps off the top onto the arm as well but it’s off to Jack again to drop Steamboat throat first onto the top rope.

 

A quick suplex gets two for Jerry and he hooks a short armscissors to keep Ricky in trouble. Ricky escapes in an impressive power display by lifting him off the mat and dropping him down on his back. Hot tag brings in Jay and things break down. The Briscos double team Youngblood to take over again but Jerry can only get two off a suplex. Jerry tries his abdominal stretch cradle but Jay kicks out again. He tries again but rolls Jay into the corner for another tag to Steamboat and the future dragon cleans house. A double chop puts Jerry down and Steamboat slams Jay down onto Jerry for the pin and the titles.

 

Rating: C+. Nice tag match here to give Steamboat and Youngblood their fifth tag titles. Yeah even back then there were teams who would get a bunch of titles in just a few years. Anyway, the Briscos would be retired soon after this while Youngblood would die in 1985 due to injuries suffered in the match. Good stuff here though.

As the new champions celebrate, we actually have the credits read to us. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that before.

 

Charlie Brown comes in to see Flair and says the TV Title is for Jimmy Valiant. Piper comes in to say it’s not over between himself and Valentine (yeah it was). The new tag champions say they know what it takes to be champions now because the first three reigns didn’t count I guess.

 

The announcers hype up the main event even more.

 

NWA World Title: Ric Flair vs. Harley Race

 

The entrances take a LONG time, especially when you compare them to the other intros tonight. Wait has anyone else had an intro tonight? I don’t think they have actually. Flair has a long light sequence with his legendary music (the song playing in the gorilla sequence from 2001: A Space Odyssey) playing in the background. Former world champion Gene Kiniski is guest referee for no apparent reason and this is inside a steel cage. Race is a seven time and reigning champion and Flair is a two time champion so these are both seasoned veterans.

 

They talk trash to each other to start before Flair takes him down with a headlock takeover. Race sends him into the ropes for a knee to the ribs but Kiniski pulls them apart. Ric snapmares him down into a chinlock which transitions into a headlock. Race fights up and hits a high knee, only to have a falling headbutt hit the canvas. Flair goes back to the headlock and cranks away on it on the mat but has to shift over into a front facelock.

 

Race escapes but misses a big elbow drop, only to fall on Flair for two during a slam attempt. Race drops a knee on the forehead and it’s Flair in trouble this time. Kiniski pulls Race off again so Harley opts to hit Ric in the ear instead. A piledriver puts Flair down but Race drops an elbow before covering. Race stays on the neck which is logical given the piledriver that put Flair out earlier in the year. The champion drives some knee into the back of the neck before sending Flair head first into the cage. That’s the first time it’s been used and we’re about ten minutes into the match.

 

We go to that overhead camera shot again as Race hits what looks like a shoulder breaker for two. A falling headbutt has Flair in trouble again as does being slammed face first into the cage. Another shot into the steel has Flair in trouble and Race is in full control. The referee pulls Race off Flair for the third time but this time he yells at Flair as well. Ric is busted open now.

 

Flair tries a headbutt get gets raked in the eyes to bring him down again. Now Ric blocks a ram into the cage and sends the champion in to get his first advantage in a long time. A knee to Race’s head gets two and Harley is busted open as well. Flair hits a piledriver of his own but Race’s afro protects him, meaning Flair only gets two. There’s a butterfly suplex for two for Flair and he sends Race head first into the cage again.

 

Race is in trouble but comes back with a headbutt which looked very low and Flair is in trouble as a result. Kiniski interferes AGAIN before Race throws Flair into the cage. Flair loads up a punch but Gene pulls the arm back because that’s illegal. IN A CAGE MATCH. Ric gets ticked off and pounds away on the champion but Kiniski breaks up the strut. Flair puts on the Figure Four but Race turns it over, which is apparently a big deal at this time.

 

Race headbutts out of the corner but Flair falls on top during a suplex attempt. The champion slams him down and drops a middle rope headbutt but stuns himself in the process. A suplex gets two more for Race and there is blood EVERYWHERE. Race pounds away and Kiniski has a problem with that too. Harley shrugs off some Flair punches and sends him into the cage before choking away with his boot.

 

Flair counters a suplex into one of his own as the back and forth control continues. A big elbow drop misses Race and both guys are down. Flair has been in such a fight that he’s gone from covered in blood to clean again to bloody again. Race accidentally knocks the referee down and in a famous but odd ending, Flair goes up top and hits a cross body, sending Race falling over the kneeling Kiniski for the pin and the title.

 

Rating: A. This is the definition of an old school fight. While it was pretty clear that Flair was going to win, it wasn’t a complete lock which made the match that much more interesting. The only slight flaw is the ending as the Kiniski stuff really wasn’t needed and the build wasn’t all that strong. Still though, this was a bloody and violent match between two of the best ever. Great stuff.

 

Flair’s friends storm the cage to celebrate. Ric thanks the fans for the win.

 

The announcers talk about Dusty vs. Flair which is coming soon.

 

Tony is in the back with Flair (again) and Flair thanks the fans (again). Here’s Dusty (AGAIN) to say he’s coming for the title, because Heaven forbid Flair gets his moment without Dusty being the last thing we see on the show right???

 

The announcers talk about Dusty. AGAIN.

 

Race says that he’ll be back, which he technically would by beating Flair in an unrecognized title reign in New Zealand but it only lasted three days. There’s a misconception that Race was very old at this point, but he was only forty years old here, which is a lot younger than a lot of the guys on this show, many of whom were in their mid to late 40s.

 

Flair (in his fifth or sixth promo tonight) is with Steamboat and Youngblood as they pose with their titles.

 

The announcers talk about everything to end the show, over twenty minutes after the main event ended.

 

Overall Rating: B. This show is a hard one to grade because it’s literally the first of its kind. Starrcade was a very ambitious effort and it worked quiet well for the most part. The first three matches were pretty bad, but with the longest one being just over eight minutes long. The next two matches weren’t particularly good either but at least they had some stories behind them.

 

That brings us to the final three matches which were all somewhere between good and masterpieces. This is pretty much a one match show with the main event being the focus of about 90% of the hype and that was excellent. On top of that you have another great match in the collar match and a very solid tag match, so what more can you really ask for here? It’s a very good show which is a very easy sit and required viewing for all wrestling fans.

 

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Also if you’re interested in Starrcade, I’ve written an e-book reviewing all 18 editions.

Cyber Sunday 2006
Date: November 5, 2006
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re obviously on Sunday now as this should be a bit better of a show, at least in theory. We have a main event of Champion vs. Champion vs. Champion as Big Show vs. Booker T vs. John Cena is the main event. The vote is which title is on the line. This also has a very long Rated RKO vs. DX match on it and one of my favorite comedy moments ever in wrestling if not my favorite. All that being said let’s get to it.

The video is about how we have the power and it lists off most of the matches and the stipulations we can pick.

The first vote is who fights Umaga with the choices being Sandman, Kane or Benoit. Benoit, the US Champion, is last as Kane more or less dominates the poll with nearly 50%. And what a coincidence that these two had been feuding!

Umaga vs. Kane

Umaga had sent Kane to either Smackdown or ECW recently so again there’s a point to this, which is just so convenient no? It was Smackdown apparently. Umaga is still undefeated here. Kane can’t hurt him with a headbutt as it’s good to see that Vince is keeping up with his stereotypes. Total slugout to start and Kane no sells a bunch of stuff. Pretty boring match so far but what do you expect?

The Samoan hits a downward spiral of all things to take over. This needs to end already and we’re like three minutes into it. The running hip shot has Kane reeling. Ok apparently it woke him up. Is this supposed to make sense? A mas of Samoan fat in your face wakes you up? Also what is it with Samoans and that move in the corner?

Kane starts his comeback and has the…uh….small man in trouble. Estrada gets up on the apron to do nothing of note and Kane sits up after the Samoan Drop. This has gotten better if you couldn’t tell. He jumps off for the clothesline but jumps into the Samoan Spike and another one ends it.

Rating: D+. This got better but still not by much. It’s ok but that’s about all it was. Umaga would get a main event push very soon but it never really went anywhere either. This was a pretty decent opener I guess but the crowd was pretty much dead for it which is really weird. Kane jobs again. What a shock that is.

Show and Sharmell talk and Sharmell tries to talk Show out of the match. Oh wait she wants them to team up. This is generic and stupid but it’s standard fair for shows and matches like these.

Cryme Tyme vs. Viscera/Charlie Haas vs. The Highlanders vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

The options are Texas Tornado, Fatal Fourway or Tag Team Turmoil with the insane one winning. Texas Tornado means everyone is in the ring at the same time. No titles or anything but rather just a match to fill out the card. Tornado gets half the vote and it’s a big mess. I remember Viscera and Charlie as a team but have no idea why. This is a total mess of course.

Who would imagine that JTG would be the only one left in the company at this point and that Viscera is the most famous name in this match somehow. I’m not even going to try to keep track of what’s going on here as it’s a free for all. JTG and Charlie are the only ones in the ring. Great German suplex by Haas to take over but they’re replaced almost immediately by Shad and Viscera.

Shad has been arrested 23 times for assault. The Highlanders get rid of the fat man as Cade and Murdoch take over. And then JTG hits a kick to end it. Sure whatever. They dance on the announce table after the match and teach JR the handshake. And there goes King’s laptop. Racial stereotyping FTW! Yes I said FTW.

Rating: D. Total mess here with no flow or story in sight but that was the idea I guess. It was just a big disaster with everyone all over the place. It was to put Cryme Tyme over but of course they never wound up doing anything. They would get fired sooner or later here but I’m not sure when. It’s not like it matters or anything so whatever.

Time for the moment referenced in the title. Shawn and HHH are at a computer with Shawn voting on who should be the referee in their match tonight. They’ve tormented Coach and Vince enough, so that leaves Bischoff. HHH tells Shawn he’s not controversial enough anymore, sending Shawn into a frenzy. He asks a production guys what his name is. Production guy: “Stan.” Shawn: “Stan?” Then he superkicks Stan. It’s so out of nowhere that it works perfectly. Then Shawn runs down the hall, superkicking everyone he runs into. Youtube this. It’s hilarious and cracks me up every time.

The next pick is for Jeff Hardy’s opponent with the choices being Johnny Nitro, Shelton Benjamin and Carlito, who wins in a LANDSLIDE with over 60% of the vote.

Intercontinental Title: Carlito vs. Jeff Hardy

The title was getting a bit of a rejuvenation around this time before dying again soon after this due to one Santino. I think both are faces here but I’m not sure. They shake hands so I’d assume so. They do some mat/technical stuff but it’s botched pretty badly. And there’s another semi-botch. Either they’re doing a really weird style or they’re just botching a lot of stuff. Someone really wants Carlito to cut his hair.

Hardy’s rail running clothesline is countered by a dropkick in a decent looking move. Twist of Fate is reversed as this is getting better. The one that isn’t on national TV at the moment controls as we’re just waiting around a lot at this point. What we’re waiting for I’m not sure but the fans think this is boring. I can’t say I disagree. We’ve had a lot of Carlito using a reverse bearhug on the mat. Yes he’s being lazy. I’m shocked too.

From that we head to a sleeper. I bet the concession stand people are loving this. Crowd is pretty dead for this and I can’t blame them at all. I love people complaining about Cole and Lawler now as he and JR are botching a ton of lines here. Jeff makes a comeback but the Swanton hits knees. Whisper in the Wind gets two as this part at least is good. Carlito misses a hurricanrana and the Swanton finally ends it.

Rating: D+. The ending made it watchable but DANG the stalling here was stupid. They just laid around here far too long and it just was boring for the most part. It’s about 13 minutes long but the majority of that is just Carlito doing rest holds. This could have been good if Carlito wasn’t so lazy, but then again if he wasn’t he’d still be employed.

Ad for one of Hogan’s DVDs.

We recap DX vs. Rated RKO which was about Orton and Edge teaming up to take Raw back from DX and its selfishness. This was a cool idea for an angle but of course HHH got hurt as he was known to do. Naturally this allows us to have a DX montage package since that’s just what you do. The choices here are Vince, Coach or Bischoff.

D-Generation X Vs. Rated RKO

DX’s intro takes forever of course even though they come out first. Bischoff gets sixty percent of the vote, beating Vince and Coach combined. This makes me question the legitimacy here as Bischoff getting that many especially with Vince in the poll is REALLY odd. He’s going to be against DX here for no adequately explained reason. It says a lot when HBK, probably the best and biggest star of these four, is the one with the least world titles on his resume.

We see more of Edge than I’d like as Shawn pulls his tights down. We’ll he’s had it done so often to him I guess he had to return the favor to someone. HHH says he’s coming in off the top then says screw it and just climbs down. That was kind of funny. It was completely pointless but it was kind of funny. All DX to start here but I think that was more or less expected. Lots of punching here so far but we’re only a few minutes into it.

Orton is really arrogant here and is perfect as the total jerk. He’s not quite as good as he was two years before, but he was great back then so it’s hard to call him at his best. Shawn comes in and we get the forearm and nip-up like five minutes into this. Orton stops Chin Music though and crotches Shawn. He plays Ricky Morton now, which says a lot about how much the Midnights and the Rock N Roll Express changed and influenced wrestling.

Shawn’s selling really is great. You would believe he’s been run over by a bus off of every move he takes, which really makes the other guy look devastating. Naturally, Orton hits a chinlock. Shawn gets out of the way of a spear and down goes Bischoff to a solid pop. Naturally DX waits for a tag to have HHH come in even though there’s no referee. Uh…moral?

Spear takes down HHH and Edge does a crotch chop so he takes a plancha from Shawn for his troubles. RKO puts HHH down and here’s a spare referee to count the two. This all took like a minute so sorry for the commentary. Sweet Chin Music to Orton gets two since Bischoff pulls the referee out of the ring. A chair is brought in and both DX guys get popped with it and Bischoff doesn’t seem to mind. RKO on the chair ends it.

Rating: B-. Not bad here but there was just something missing. It felt rushed even though this somehow was pushing 20 minutes. The beginning is just a bunch of punches and then Shawn got in trouble, setting up the ref bump and the ending. It’s definitely a good match but this could have been more if the time they had was used more properly, which isn’t something you often have to say about a match Shawn is in.

Ad for The Marine, which wasn’t that bad.

Rated RKO says nothing of note.

The Divas come out to be told who to do. Make your own jokes on that one. It’s a lumberjack match.

Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Lita

Trish retired so we had a four Diva tournament to set this up. Lita is about a month from retiring at this point so she’s more or less destined to win. Mickie throws the absolute worst dropkick anyone with a great rack has ever thrown. This is horrible but at least we get to look at Mickie’s figure. Lita as a heel just doesn’t work from an in ring perspective. She hooks on a sleeper that does fairly well.

Not that it wins or anything since it’s a freaking sleeper but nice try if nothing else. Instead of a match here, Lita seems like she’s just there doing moves on Mickie with no particular rhyme or reason. The girls do their thing of course and nothing of note is going on here at all. Lita blocks/Mickie botches the Stratusfaction and Mickie gets a rollup for two. The other Divas get involved and a spike DDT ends it for Lita.

Rating: D. This was boring beyond all belief. The only highlights were Mickie in general and Lita’s chest. Other than that we were just sitting around watching this nonsense go on and on. The match never went anywhere as it’s clear Lita just didn’t care anymore. Mickie would win the title from Lita at Survivor Series in Lita’s retirement match.

Mania is in Detroit.

Kenny yells at the Spirit Squad and says he’s better than they are so he’s the leader.

Raw Tag Titles: Ric Flair/??? vs. Spirit Squad

The vote is for Flair’s partner. The choices are Piper, Slaughter and Dusty. Piper, looking VERY old, gets the nod. Is there supposed to be a connection between Slaughter and Flait that I’m just not getting? Piper takes his shirt off and I get mad at him. How could he not tell us he was 8 months pregnant? He even has breasts full of milk! Dusty and Slaughter come out to back up the old guys for this.

Kenny and Mikey are the two in the ring at the moment. Ross says this is like Lebron vs. Michael Jordan. Well no one ever claimed Ross toned things down. Both tag and Piper is pathetic looking. Piper gets beaten up as Flair is by far the ace of the team. That’s either awesome or sad and I’m not sure which. The heels dominate for the most part while Piper just kind of lays there.

The hot tag brings in Flair and Mikey is in the figure four but Kenny saves with his top rope legdrop. Are we waiting on the Piper hot tag now? It’s clear that Flair is the only guy on his team in any semblance of shape. Figure four goes on again and OLD GUYS WIN! Dusty and Slaughter come in to stop the big beatdown. Rhodes’ music of all things plays them out. Ah ok it’s so they can dance.

Rating: D-. This was pretty pathetic really. Flair is passable but Piper was clearly just in nothing close to wrestling shape. He would at least wear a t-shirt for the rest of his time in the ring which is a nice break. They would drop the belts in 8 days to Rated RKO so at least this wasn’t long or anything. The match was bad though, namely due to Piper.

Booker tries to get Cena on his side and Cena says ok, but he wants one night with the Queen. Can’t say he’s not smart as Sharmell is rather attractive. Booker sends Sharmell out and then says ok to a HUGE shocked pop. Cena asks if he’s crazy as that’s Booker’s wife. He leaves and makes up a story to Sharmell about this weird orgy that he gets to watch. Funnier than it sounds, and Ron Simmons says his catchphrase.

Ad for Survivor Series, where it’s brand vs. brand vs. brand.

Some Bengals are here.

We see how all three champions got their titles in a cool package.

Basically you’re voting for who you want to win here since no title is going to be unified here. Booker wins by a landslide.

Smackdown World Title: Booker T vs. John Cena vs. Big Show

Booker is knocked to the floor almost immediately and it’s Cena vs. Show for a long time. We swap that out for Booker vs. Cena as it’s clearly going to be a basic triple thread with two guys fighting for awhile as the third is down. Show gets two and Cena makes the save. A double clothesline puts the big man on the floro and something tells me that’s the last we’re going to see from him for a LONG time.

Of course I’m wrong as he makes a save off a Fisherman’s suplex from Cena. Show gets the stairs but gets a dropkick to his knee, driving his head into the steps. Ok that’s how they get rid of him. Book End gets two in the ring. Just to mess with the internet, Cena hits a belly to belly suplex and goes for a top rope splash. Lawler points out Cena has nothing to lose here which is true.

It’s been Booker vs. Cena for about 4 minutes now with Show on the floor. Both counter the other’s finisher and we’re about even. STFU doesn’t work as this just isn’t that much at all, mainly because we know nothing is coming from this since Show is going to be back eventually to stop whatever is going on here. Token plug for the Marine follows as Cena is in control.

After about seven minutes Show is finally up. That’s part of the issue with matches like these: a move like that would never keep a guy down that long but here it’s perfectly normal. A missile dropkick puts Show down and takes Cena down with him since Cena was on Show’s shoulders. Wow that came out awkward but you get the idea. Show takes over now and takes Cena to the floor.

And so much for that theory as Show gets put down (and booed loudly) before the 5 Knuckle Shuffle has Booker in trouble. FU to Sharmell as she tries to hit Cena with a belt. STFU on Booker and KEVIN FREAKING FEDERLINE comes in and blasts Cena with a belt. A belt shot from Booker lets him keep the title.

Rating: D+. Just a bad match overall. There was no way a title was changing here and since Show couldn’t stay in there longer than like two minutes at a time due to general fatness, this was a glorified one on one match. It’s a cool idea on paper but other than that it’s really not that much. The over twenty minutes did go by quickly though which was nice.

Overall Rating: D. These shows just aren’t that good. The voting thing is a cool idea but the problem comes when the matches simply aren’t any good no matter what you throw out there. The Champion of Champions match was a good idea but it was really weak given Show laying on the ground for most of it. Like I’ve said for a long time, these should be TV specials rather than PPVs. Nothing big ever happens and the tag titles changing hands is almost predictable at this point. Bad show, but not too bad.

 

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Monday Nitro #60
Date: November 4, 1996
Location: Van Andel Arena, Grand Rapids, Michigan
Attendance: 7,568
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone, Larry Zbyszko

We’re into November now and World War 3 is in three weeks. Well 20 days but you get the idea. Ok so it’s really 15 years ago plus a few months but we’ll be here all day if we get into that. Anyway after last week, there’s not much to go on so hopefully we really get things going tonight. Let’s get to it.

Sting is in the rafters. DiBiase, Vincent and Giant are in the crowd and looking up at him.

Tonight we start a tournament for the new WCW Women’s Title.

Eric isn’t here tonight, but rather in Portland trying to get Piper to sign a contract. Remember that. It becomes REAL important in a few weeks.

We get a clip from Havoc where Piper yells at Hogan. Tony says the fans have demanded it, including over the internet. Tonight a word is promised about the signing.

Marcus Bagwell vs. Brad Armstrong

Sting leaves before the match starts. Man even he hates Buff. Riggs it at ringside too. Random question but where have the Steiners been? Are they still out from the car wreck thing? Bagwell does the clap thing and to his credit, the crowd is doing it with him. Technical match for the most part as they’re on the mat a lot. One thing that’s unrelated to the match: there are fans in the front row leaning over people (nice guys) to try to see themselves on a screen. I guess there are monitors or something by the entrance. That helps a lot as far as the videos they play.

We take a break (in the opener? Between Bagwell and Armstrong?) and come back to Armstrong hitting some armdrags (with his strong arms I guess) to frustrate Bagwell. Bagwell hits him in the face and the brawl is on. The fans are getting into this too. A dropkick puts Bagwell down and he gets tossed to the floor. Bagwell does just the same, hitting a dropkick and a clothesline to put Armstrong on the floor. There’s a dive to the floor and Brad is in trouble.

The NWO is in the crowd. They seem to be in the same place we saw them earlier so presumably they’ve been there the entire time. Why we’re looking at them and should be surprised to see them eludes me but a lot of what WCW did eluded me. Ok now they’re leaving. A tornado DDT gets two for Armstrong. There’s a gutbuster for Bagwell and what looked to be a forearm to put Armstrong down. We get the same ending from Fall Brawl 95 with Johnny B. Badd vs. Pillman where they both hit cross bodies and Bagwell lands on top for the pin.

Rating: C+. Marcus Bagwell vs. Brad Armstrong got 15 minutes and a commercial on Nitro and IT WAS GOOD. I’m in an alternate universe here. Brad was almost always at least watchable but Bagwell was a tag team guy and the same wrestler he was five years earlier, so why in the world did this get so much time? I’m not sure but it worked pretty well.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Ice Train

We’re reminded of the NWO watching Page last week. Page whispered something to Nick Patrick before this starts. The NWO (Outsiders) are in the crowd watching again. Train easily overpowers Page to start and knocks him to the floor. Page is starting to look a lot like he would during his main run. The Outsiders leave. Page guillotines him on the top and hits a top rope clothesline to take over.

Tony says Teddy has become a role model for young people all over the world. I can see the tag team matches being made on playgrounds all over the world. Sunset flip (and a bad one at that) gets two for Train. Larry says Piper vs. Hogan would be the biggest match of the 20th century. I never thought I’d say this, but Larry has been in bigger matches than that would be. Pancake puts Train down for two.

Swinging neckbreaker gets the same and a huge kickout, sending Page onto Patrick. A powerslam and two splashes get a slow two. Page gets knocked to the floor when the Outsiders come in and destroy Train with the title belts. Patrick is on the floor with Page. The champs leave and the Cutter ends this.

Rating: D+. This was more angle than match, which is something you can usually say about Teddy Long’s clients’ matches. It’s cool to see the Outsiders doing something to pull someone up and it certainly worked with Page. Was there a kayfabe reason why Patrick never went on medical leave? I never got that.

Cruiserweight Title: Dean Malenko vs. Scotty Riggs

Dean vs. Psicosis is announced for the PPV. The bell never rings so technically this is just a big prematch exhibition. Riggs has a bad shoulder coming in. Tony: “Well he’s trying to win. That’s a good sign.” Well what else would he be there for? A pottery class? Syxx pops up in the crowd as Riggs hits the post shoulder first. Riggs doesn’t seem to mind as he turns on the jets and sends Dean to the floor. There’s a plancha and back in a top rope double axe gets two. Scotty goes up again but Dean falls against the ropes and Riggs crashes onto the apron. Bagwell throws him back in and Dean gets an easy pin.

Rating: C. Not a bad match here and it foreshadows the troubles that the Males would have. Ok so maybe foreshadows is too big of a word given that they would only last like 3 weeks but you get the idea. Dean looked good here as did Riggs, and that ending fall looked awesome and painful at the same time. Decent little match.

We get a clip from last week with Mongo helping steal a win for Benoit.

Hector Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit

Hector is Eddie’s older brother and possibly even more talented. He’s also a dead ringer for Eddie if you just glance at him. I’ve often gotten them confused until I took a good look. Flair has had his surgery and Anderson is out with a back injury. On Saturday, Benoit said Sullivan is no longer the man he used to be. Sullivan pops up and says he’ll hurt Benoit in Baltimore. He’s actually talking about a house show.

Hector speeds things up and hits almost a Vader Bomb from the top rope out to the floor onto a standing Benoit. Benoit’s shoulder is still taped up. Hector works on the arm and mixes up the attack on it, because Hector Guerrero is smarter than most wrestlers. He goes to take the tape off and we take a break. After an NWO t-shirt ad, we come back to Benoit hitting a knee to put Guerrero down.

He draped Hector over the top rope with a release suplex and Guerrero is in trouble. Benoit works over the ribs and hooks an awkward abdominal stretch. Hector is basically crouched down and Benoit is bending over. Benoit hammers him down as Tony hypes up how amazing the second hour is. There’s the explosion. Hector grabs a small package for two. Guerrero speeds things up and uses a rolling tumbleweed style cradle for two. Woman breaks it up which isn’t a DQ. Benoit grabs a rollup via the distraction and uses the ropes for the pin.

Rating: C+. Another long match which again works. Benoit could move better this week which is a nice perk. Hector wouldn’t be around that much I don’t think so this was really just to avenge Eddie I guess. Nothing that great but they were moving well out there and the psychology worked so big points for that.

We look at Giant and Jarrett from last week. The Horsemen and Jarrett are in the aisle and Jeff says he’s the lead horse right now. Was he ever officially inducted? Benoit protests and says business pertaining to the Horsemen will be dealt with by a Horseman. Jarrett talks about getting WCW together as Sting watches. He just kind of goes on and on while we look at Sting.

The announcers talk about Sting.

Lee Marshall is in Florida for next week’s Nitro.

WCW Women’s Title Tournament First Round: Reina Jubuki vs. Madusa

Jubuki is Akiri Hokuto under a mask. Reina takes over quickly to start and chokes Madusa down. Another female Japanese wrestler comes out and watches. Her name is Zero apparently. Sonny Onoo rants like a heel Japanese man would in pro wrestling. Madusa hits something like what we would call the Stratusphere but Jubuki hits a release suplex and missile dropkick for two. The American grabs a quick German to pin the Japanese for the win. Too short to rate but it was way better than most modern female matches.

Michael Wallstreet vs. Chris Jericho

Wallstreet takes it to the mat quickly but Jericho works on the arm and then grabs a headlock. He tries to speed things up and Wallstreet fires him through the ropes. Tony calls the attorney of Nick Patrick a Schyster. I have a feeling there was a wink in there somewhere. Wallstreet pounds away as the announcers debate what the name Lionheart means.

Off to a chinlock and after awhile we look at the crowd. I can’t say I blame them as things got really boring all of a sudden there. Jericho comes back to break up the boring chants which were coming quickly. Missile dropkick sends Wallstreet out to the floor. Jericho gets sent into the post but as they come back in he grabs a quick small package for the pin.

Rating: D+. Nothing special here at all but they didn’t have much to go on. Jericho needed the ring time at this point and putting him in there with a veteran like Wallstreet was a good idea. This wasn’t all that bad but it’s nothing interesting at all. Basically just a way to make sure people remember who Jericho is.

Patrick and his attorney are here again and Jericho says there’s nothing wrong with the neck and that Patrick works for the NWO. Somehow this turns into an argument about Jericho’s dad playing in the NHL. Teddy comes out to yell at Patrick too. The attorney brings up Teddy being suspended while he was a referee like 8 years ago. Jericho cuts him off and says that’s the past, what Patrick is doing today.

We get a video from last week with Luger chasing after Sting to end the match with Booker.

Lex Luger vs. Booker T

Before the match we get an inset promo from Luger saying he’ll be waiting for Sting whenever he’s ready to talk. Luger grabs a delayed vertical suplex to start and seems to be more focused than he was last week. An elbow puts Booker on the floor and we take a break. Tony promises that if anything happens during the break, we’ll see it on replay. There’s no replay, so I guess we can assume that they just stayed in the same place during the break.

Powerslam gets two for Lex. Booker grabs a release Stun Gun to take over. Lex gets thrown to the floor where he takes a kick to the ribs from Sherri. Booker works on the back out on the floor. Back in the ring a hooking kick puts Luger down again. Side kick results in Booker crotching himself and Lex makes his comeback. He hits a powerslam and calls for the Rack but Booker grabs the rope. There’s a side kick to take Luger down and Colonel Parker is here to hug Sherri. An enziguri puts Lex down but Parker gets on the apron for some reason. Booker yells at him so Luger rolls him up for the pin.

Rating: D. This was a chore to sit through. The problem basically was that I don’t think anyone thought Booker was going to get a decisive win here so it was just kind of waiting around until the end of the match. That’s a very boring kind of match to watch and I stopped this whenever I could to do ANYTHING else. It wasn’t bad but it was very uninteresting.

Sting is still watching.

Eric Bischoff calls in and says that things are going well with him and Piper, but there’s no match signed, due to attorneys and agents interfering. He won’t say what’s wrong but he’s going to talk to Piper in Toronto next week. This goes on for awhile. Remember this segment. It becomes very important later.

Remember last week where we saw part of the Hogan vs. Piper showdown from Halloween Havoc but it was clipped for time? Well here’s the FULL version! That eats up ten minutes.

Here’s the NWO to end the show. Hogan demands a spotlight so he feels like he’s in California. Here’s a clip from Santa With Muscles, as we’re actually playing the “my B-movie is better than YOUR B-movie” game between Piper and Hogan. Hogan, as Santa, beats up some goons/thieves in a mall. Back in the arena, Hogan talks about the Cable Ace Awards or something and threatens to come to the ceremony and steal Ted Turner’s award. Is there a point to this at all? Hogan says Piper is scared and hiding out with Savage somewhere. He poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Well it was better than last week due to the matches and wrestling being a lot better, but at the same time, nothing happened here. That’s the problem with having a main event like the big battle royal as everyone of note is in there and there might be a few other matches on there, most of which are just midcard matches. Things pick up speed soon enough though.

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Survivor Series 1991
Date: November 27, 1991
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 17,500
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

Things are a bit different here but the real change will come next year. The main thing here is that we have a world title match in the first singles match in the history of this show. Undertaker has gone from squashing jobbers to the stars to squashing people out of the company to terrorizing Savage and Liz at their wedding to being #1 contender. Hogan hasn’t done anything since Wrestlemania so a change of opponents will do him a world of good. Oh and Ric Flair is here. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from Superstars with Savage being tied up in the ropes as Jake Roberts made the cobra bite Savage’s arm. Piper immediately ran down from the broadcast booth to try to help. Liz came out screaming as well. This is when Savage was a commentator and retired but looking for reinstatement.

The key thing is he had been scheduled to be on the PPV as a captain against Jake’s team, but because of this, both captains were pulled off the show with three days’ notice, basically baiting and switching the fans. The actual match between the two of them would be a week later on a different PPV called Tuesday in Texas, which was another $20.

Anyway back on Superstars, Savage can’t stand up because of the snake bite but he keeps trying to fight Jake. They finally get Savage on a stretcher and start wheeling him away but he falls off. Now we get to the unintentional comedy part of this. Savage falls off and remember that Vince is on commentary here, so he’s FREAKING over all this stuff. The camera cuts to a crying child in the crowd and Vince loses it, audibly cracking up on air and trying to talk about “complete chaos” while clearly laughing.

We get the announcement from Jack Tunney that Savage and Roberts won’t be allowed to wrestle at Survivor Series. This is translated as “HAHA WE GOT YOUR MONEY ALREADY!”

Gorilla and Bobby talk for a bit.

Team Ric Flair vs. Team Roddy Piper

Ric Flair, Ted DiBiase, The Mountie, The Warlord

Roddy Piper, Bret Hart, Davey Boy Smith, Virgil

Roddy was Flair’s first feud in the company as not only did you know the matches would be good, but the promos would be awesome too. Bret was feuding with Mountie over the IC Title, Smith was feuding with Warlord over who was stronger and Virgil was feuding with DiBiase because who else was he going to feud with?

Flair has the REAL World Title with him here, which is mosaiced but if you know your titles, you can see a WWF Tag Team Title, which looks really weird if you’re in the arena (if you’re not familiar with what I’m talking about, the short version is Flair was NWA Champion, left the NWA, wasn’t paid back for the deposit he put down on the belt, brought it to the WWF, got sued, and couldn’t use the title in the angle they were doing anymore so they would substitute in another belt which was censored in storyline.)

Big reaction for Bret, who has finally split from Neidhart and is IC Champion as of Summerslam. DiBiase starts for his team against Piper which is a pretty awesome match. No managers are allowed at ringside this year but Sherri is there anyway. Flair sneaks in and blasts Piper in the back to give Ted an early advantage. Piper atomic drops Ted and Sherri comes in to choke him which somehow isn’t a DQ. Piper kisses her and punches DiBiase to take over.

Sherri is sent to the back and Roddy brings in Smith. The good guys work over the arm of DiBiase with Virgil of all people getting the biggest pop. After all four go in they start going around again with all four getting in another set of shots on the arm. Bret stays in but misses a knee in the corner to put himself in trouble. They trade near falls before Bret takes him right back down by the arm.

DiBiase hiptosses him down and wisely tags in Flair. Bret starts with some of his favorite moves before tagging in Davey Boy to slingshot Flair into the corner. Piper wants in but Flair stops the tag. There’s the gorilla press to Flair and the tag to Piper, drawing a BIG pop from the crowd. Piper goes nuts with punches, knocking Flair to the floor where we get a Flair Flop.

Back inside and it’s off to Warlord who Piper wants to try a test of strength against. Piper is just playing though and brings in Smith for the big power match. Smith hits some shoulder blocks but misses a charge and it’s off to Mountie. Bret tags in and Mountie immediately hits the floor. Instead here’s DiBiase who gets elbowed off the middle rope for two. Ted and Bret hit head to head and both guys are down.

Mountie is willing to get in there now but it’s back to Davey instead. Smith gorilla presses Mountie and pumps him about three times before slamming him down for no cover. Off to Flair who chops away at the Bulldog which doesn’t work at all. DiBiase and Flair try a double team but get double clotheslined instead. There’s the powerslam to Mountie but he’s not legal. Flair comes off the top with a shot to the back of Smith’s head for the pin and the elimination. Both guys were legal too.

Piper immediately charges in but Flair tags DiBiase back instead. Flair comes in to face a downed Piper but Ric is put in the Figure Four almost immediately. Off to Mountie vs. Virgil and Mountie can’t get a tag out from anyone, because everyone is afraid of Virgil. I can’t say I blame them. He might tell them about how great he is. Flair comes in and has zero luck so it’s DiBiase vs. Virgil again. Ted powerslams him down and it’s immediately back to the Warlord.

Virgil gets sent to the floor and Flair sends him into the steps, with Virgil doing an awful job of pretending to slam into them. The full nelson goes on but everything breaks down and Bret comes off the top to take out Warlord, giving the illegal Piper the pin to tie us up at 3. Piper vs. DiBiase now before Virgil is quickly tagged in. Virgil slaps the Million Dollar Dream on DiBiase but Ted sends him into the buckle to escape.

Here’s Flair again with a belly to back supelx before it’s back to Mountie. Every remaining heel takes their shots on Virgil which is likely the best possibly option. I mean, do you want VIRGIL getting the hot tag? Flair covers him for two and puts his feet on the ropes because that’s what Flair does. DiBiase comes in and ducks his head, only to get caught by a swinging neckbreaker. There’s the hot tag to Piper who no sells everything Flair throws at him. Everything breaks down and Flair is sent to the floor. That’s important because the referee disqualifies EVERYONE in the ring, but Flair was outside and is the sole survivor.

Rating: B. Gah this was going AWESOME until the pretty lame ending. Having Flair be the sole survivor is a smart move though as it makes the fans hate him even more. This was a GREAT setup though and was on pace to be a classic before the ending. To be fair though, at the pace they were going the match would have been an hour long if they were going to do a full version. Still though, what we got was very good.

Gene is on the platform and brings out Savage to talk about Jake, because we can’t have the match on this show so let’s talk about it instead. Savage talks about being bitten by the snake and being able to see and hear Liz crying, which is the worst thing Jake could do. He promises to be all over Jake like melted butter. Oh man stuff just got REAL. Liz comes out which is a big deal apparently. As usual, she has nothing to say.

Gorilla thinks Tuesday in Texas may be on TV! Give me a break.

Team Mustafa vs. Team Slaughter

Colonel Mustafa, Berzerker, Skinner, Hercules

Sgt. Slaughter, Tito Santana, Jim Duggan, Texas Tornado

A lot of these guys are on their way out. Hercules would be in WCW by May, Tornado would job to the stars until leaving in July as would Mustafa (Iron Sheik), and the rest of the guys would do nothing of note for the rest of their time in the company. Kerry (Tornado) looks high as a kite and almost falls off the apron getting into the ring. This is pretty recently after Slaughter’s face turn as he was a heel at Summerslam. This isn’t exactly the most talent laden match ever and the only feud is Slaughter vs. Mustafa.

Tito and Skinner start with Santana taking over with a headlock. There’s the flying forearm out of nowhere and Skinner hits the floor without a cover. Off to Berzerker vs. Tornado which would work a lot better down in Dallas. Berzerker (a crazy viking who tried to stab Undertaker with a sword) misses a dropkick and it’s off to Mustafa. After some very brief offense, Kerry tumbles to his corner and brings in Duggan to face Hercules, which was in the first ever match at Survivor Series.

Duggan gets taken down by double and triple teaming and it’s off to Mustafa. He loads up his curled boots (it’s a Sheik thing) and does nothing with them. Thanks for wasting our time with that. Duggan pounds away and backdrops Mustafa down before the hot tag to Slaughter. The big showdown is an atomic drop and a clothesline to Mustafa for the elimination.

Berzerker comes in with some clotheslines and a kick to the fat gut of Slaughter. A boot to Slaughter’s face puts him down and it’s off to Hercules for some two counts. Back to the viking who gets crotched on the top rope and kicked in the legs. Off to Duggan who clotheslines Berzerker to the floor and backdrops him back there a few seconds later. Tornado comes in and pounds away on him before it’s off to Hercules again. Tito gets a blind tag and hits a forearm to the back of the head (El Paso Del Muerte) for the pin and the elimination.

Skinner, the guy that owned now former developmental program FCW, comes in as it’s 4-2. When you have Skinner and Berzerker as your only guys left, the team is in big trouble. A blind tag brings in Slaughter who rolls up Skinner for the elimination. Slaughter whips Berzerker into Duggan’s clothesline for the elimination and the win.

Rating: F. The match sucked, it was never in doubt, and the biggest deal on the heel team was Skinner, who would get an IC Title shot soon after this. What a horrible match and one of the most worthless ones in the history of the show so far, which is covering quite a bit of ground. Nothing to see here at all.

Here’s Jake to plug Tuesday in Texas some more. To be fair, Trust Me Jake was AWESOME. Jake swears he didn’t know that the snake had venom in it still but making Liz cry excited him. God has told Jake that God doesn’t like Okerlund, so let’s blame everyone but Jake. I said he was awesome, not that he made sense. No reptiles are allowed at the match between Savage and Roberts. He wants to kiss Liz and that’s about it.

We recap Hogan vs. Taker. Flair confronted Hogan in Taker’s Funeral Parlor and went off on him about hearing about Hogan for years. Now Flair is here and wants to know what Hogan is going to do about it. Hogan pulled off the shirt and Taker came out of a standing casket behind Hulk and hit him with the urn. Piper and Savage ran out of the broadcast booth with chairs but Taker literally swatted away Savage’s swing. Taker rips Hogan’s cross off ala Andre in 87 and leaves.

WWF World Title: Undertaker vs. Hulk Hogan

Taker is “undefeated” here, which means overseas tours and house shows don’t count because Tito beat him in Spain and Warrior beat him on a bunch of house shows. Feeling out process to start with no one being able to get a real advantage. Taker shoulders Hogan and Hulk regroups a bit while Taker reaches to the urn. Back in and Taker chokes away in the corner in a shot you see in a lot of Taker video packages.

Bearer chokes Hogan a bit and Taker slams him. A big elbow misses and the place pops loudly. Hulk pounds away but he can’t put Taker down. A slam doesn’t work nor does an elbow to the head. Hogan clotheslines Taker to the floor where the dead man lands on his feet and pulls Hogan outside. Back in and Taker chokes away some more as does Bearer. Taker starts smothering him as you can see the Hogan super fan, a guy who dressed up like Hulk (including yellow trunks) sitting in the front row and freaking out.

This hold goes on for a good while, which is just Taker having his hand on Hogan’s face and doing nothing else. By long I mean like two and a half minuets. When the whole match is only thirteen minutes, that’s a long stretch. Hogan comes back with some shoulder blocks that don’t do much, only to have Taker clothesline him down again. There’s the Tombstone but Hogan is up before a cover. He pounds away on Taker and knocks him down to one knee which is a new thing for Taker.

Hogan gets a good slam as Flair is on his way to the ring. I miss that black and white robe. That thing was spiffy. Hogan takes out Flair with a right hand and big boots Taker, only to have Bearer grab his leg. Taker loads up the Tombstone as Flair slides in a chair. The piledriver on the chair gives us a new world champion and a decisive face pop for the dead man. Taker holding the title like it’s a coupon for a free coffee at a Shell station is a nice touch.

Rating: D. Yeah this match completely sucked but we have a new champion and a reason to watch Flair vs. Hogan, which never happened for various reason. Hogan would beat Taker for the title at Tuesday in Texas six days later, but the title would be held up and decided in the Rumble, where Flair would win it and set up Wrestlemania. Bad match, but a BIG moment.

People come out to check on Hogan as Gorilla rips into Flair. Hogan takes awhile to leave, likely to let the fans get over some of their shock.

Roddy is in the back and goes on a big rant against Tunney and Flair and Taker.

Flair and Perfect say they told us this would happen and now they’ve been proven right. Flair is the REAL World Champion now. Tunney needs to stop distorting the belt.

Intermission, which means we see a graphic for fifteen minutes.

Gene recaps what’s happened so far in case someone ordered the PPV halfway through for some reason.

The Natural Disasters and IRS are ready for the LOD and Boss Man. That’s the main event people. They’re not even hiding the screwing over of the fans anymore.

LOD and the Boss Man are ready too. Seriously there’s nothing else to say here. They say exactly what you would expect them to say and nothing else. Hawk gets ready to do the WHAT A RUSH line but as he loads it up, Sean interrupts him to say Gene is with Jack Tunney. Hawk gives him a look that would stop a tank and says his catchphrase, then lets Sean throw it to Gene.

Tunney announces Hogan vs. Taker II at Tuesday in Texas. He’ll be at ringside as well, which makes the boredom levels shoot through the roof, if that’s even possible.

Team Nasty Boys vs. Team Rockers

Nasty Boys, Beverly Brothers

Rockers, Bushwhackers

This is right before the Rockers split and they’re already having issues. This is regular rules, which means individual eliminations and not one loss means both team members are gone. Butch and Knobbs get things going as Gorilla and Bobby talk about Hogan vs. Taker II. Butch hits a running knee lift and it’s off to Luke. The Whackers take over on the Nasties with a pair of double clotheslines.

The Beverly Brothers come in and do about as well as the Nasties with both Brothers taking a Battering Ram. The Rockers double dropkick the Nasties and the good guys have cleared the ring. It’s Shawn vs. Beau (the other is Blake) now as the announcers debate which guy on either team is the brains. A backbreaker puts Shawn down and it’s back to Knobbs. Luke comes in and avoids a splash in the corner but whacks his arms too much, allowing Knobbs to hit a middle rope clothesline for the elimination.

Off to Shawn vs. Sags with Jerry suplexing him down. Gorilla talks about how tonight will culminate at Tuesday in Texas. Again, screw you fans who bought this, as you just got part one. Some idiot fan stands up and poses for the camera so the shots keep cutting away a lot. The Rockers work on Sags’ arm before it’s off to Blake. Gorilla somehow can’t tell the Rockers apart, even though they pretty much look nothing alike.

A superkick puts Blake down but Beverly comes back with knees in the corner. Marty comes off the middle rope and shoves the referee for no apparent reason. It doesn’t go anywhere so I guess it was a mistake. Must be Colombian coke for Marty tonight. Off to Beau who doesn’t do much other than allow a tag to Butch who cleans house. The Beverlies double team him with a backdrop into a facejam for the pin and the elimination.

It’s Nasties/Beverlies vs. Rockers now with Marty coming in again. Marty monkey flips and ranas Beau down for two as Heenan and Gorilla trade statements of excitement. An enziguri puts Beau down again and it’s off to an armbar. It’s also off to Shawn who doesn’t do as well as you would expect against one of the Beverly Brothers. Off to Blake who jumps over Beau and lands on Shawn’s back in a move that the World’s Greatest Tag Team made famous.

Out of nowhere Shawn grabs a backslide on Beau for the pin to make it 3-1. Sags is in next as Gorilla thinks Marty should reach further for a tag. Even though the Rockers would split less than a month later, it wasn’t clear yet who would have gotten the super push. The Nasties head to the floor and Shawn clotheslines Sags off the apron and superkicks Knobbs down. Back in and Sags takes over again. Marty’s eyes are just gone and he looks awful.

Blake comes in again and gets kicked in the face, allowing for a falling tag to Marty. A big jumping back elbow takes Knobbs down and a snapmare gets two. Knobbs takes Jannetty down again and Heenan talks about Tuesday in Texas. Off to Sags with a powerslam and a belly to back suplex before it’s back to Knobbs. Marty gets his knees up to stop a middle rope splash and there’s the tag to Shawn. Everything breaks down and Marty swings Sags’ feet into Shawn’s face, resulting in Knobbs rolling Michaels up for the pin.

That leaves us with Marty vs. Blake and the Nasties which I don’t see going well for the coke head. Shawn freaks out on him before he leaves too to even further tease the tension. Marty starts with Knobbs and hits a middle rope bulldog but Jerry takes him down almost immediately and knocks him to the floor. A powerslam from Blake puts Marty down and the Nasties head to the floor. Jannetty dives on both of them and slams Blake’s face into the mat. Marty hooks a terrible looking small package on Sags but Knobbs rolls them over to give Jerry the final eliminating pin.

Rating: D. Man alive this was a long match. That’s the problem the rest of this show has created: there’s nothing else worth watching for the rest of the night and now they’re just filling in time to say that you’re getting a PPV that means something, when really you need to see the sequel to get the full thing. But hey, who cares about treating the fans right when you can get their money?

Gorilla and Bobby plug Tuesday in Texas again.

Legion of Doom/Big Boss Man vs. IRS/Natural Disasters

This is your main event people. Let that sink in for a minute. The LOD are the tag champions and IRS and Boss Man are having a worthless midcard feud. Boss Man and IRS start things off with the tax dude (if you need help figuring out who that is you’re beyond my help) getting thrown all over the place. Off to Animal vs. Earthquake which fires the crowd up a bit.

They collide and Animal’s cross body is caught in a backbreaker in an impressive display of strength from Quake. Back to IRS to face Hawk with the latter working on the arm. Typhoon gets the tag, only to have IRS thrown at him by Hawk. Off to Earthquake who carries Hawk to the heel corner. IRS and Boss Man come in again and it’s a briefcase shot to Boss Man’s head for the elimination.

It’s Typhoon vs. Animal now and the Disasters double team Animal in the corner. Quake suplexes him down as Monsoon talks about Bobo Brazil. IRS hits a top rope right hand for two and Typhoon puts on a bearhug. Animal escapes and hits a clothesline before tagging in Hawk. IRS misses a briefcase shot to the head and hits Typhoon by mistake, giving Hawk the easy pin.

Quake wants to fight IRS now but walks off with Typhoon instead, making it the LOD vs. IRS. Hawk powerslams IRS down but a charge goes shoulder first into the post. Hawk gets sent face first into the steps as we continue to fill time by having IRS look like he has a chance. We hit the chinlock as the announcers talk about Thanksgiving dinner. Not hot tag brings in Animal who cleans whatever is left in the house. IRS tries to walk out but runs into Boss Man in the aisle. Hawk hits a top rope clothesline for the win.

Rating: D+. We go from Hogan vs. Andre II to this in five years? That should give you a good idea as to what you’ve got going on with this show. The match was nothing and there was no reason to get excited about it, because the whole reason the match was happening had been postponed to Tuesday. In Texas.

Hogan won’t talk to the cameras about what happened.

Gene is in the bowels of the building with Bearer and Taker. Hogan will rest in peace. In Texas. They look in a casket to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. Let’s take a look at what we had on this show: a really good opener, a horrible second match, a bad yet historic third match, a bad fourth match, and a worthless fifth match. This is all interspersed with a bunch of commercials for Tuesday in Texas, which is possibly the biggest bait and switch in company history. This show made me mad because it’s a big flip off to the fans, and that’s not acceptable. Watch the opener and that’s about it.

Ratings Comparison

Team Flair vs. Team Piper

Original: A-

Redo: B

Team Slaughter vs. Team Mustafa

Original: F

Redo: F

Undertaker vs. Hulk Hogan

Original: C-

Redo: D

Team Nasty Boys vs. Team Rockers

Original: D

Redo: D

Legion of Doom/Big Boss Man vs. IRS/Natural Disasters

Original: D

Redo: D+

Overall Rating:

Original: D+

Redo: D-

A little worse this time, but the same problems still plague this show. Screw you Vince.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/10/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-1991-here-lies-hogan/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Saturday Night’s Main Event #3
Date: November 2, 1985
Location: Hersheypark Arena, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura

This is in between the first and second Manias so you can tell that this isn’t going to be anything really special. The main thing here is that it’s Halloween and Roddy Piper is a jerk. There’s also Hogan and Andre vs. Studd and Bundy which would become one of the more important matches for them in their feud as clips of it were played about a dozen times before Mania. All that being said let’s get to it.

Bobby is getting ready for some contest as the Halloween movie music plays in the background which is a nice touch.

Hogan says it’s going to be a fair fight tonight and Andre agrees.

Roddy Piper is dressed as a superhero and Ventura is proud of how Piper messed up their wedding at the last SNME.

Terry Funk is brand new here, as is some guy named Jimmy Hart. Wow that’s weird to say. Funk says he’ll house train the JYD.

Cue theme song. That song and video made this feel special and it really was. The fans are all dressed as wrestlers which is pretty cool.

We see a clip of Funk beating up a ring attendant while there’s a female referee. Well ok then. Jimmy says that was because of television tricks.

We go to another clip of Funk beating up JYD in Madison Square Garden. Monsoon was great at making things feel epic.

JYD says tonight is his day to get revenge.

Junkyard Dog vs. Terry Funk

Grab Them Cakes is a fun song. I can’t stand the guy but he had cool music. JYD jumps him early on and here we go. Funk gets crotched and I have a bad feeling about this already. Any kind of logic or fairness says Funk wins here. It’s ALL JYD to start here and the reaction is great so I guess something is working here.

Funk grabs Hart, thinking he’s JYD. Didn’t the hair or jacket tip him off at all? I guess not. It’s still all JYD here as he beats up Jimmy. Funk comes back and my faith in the universe is restored. Hart comes in again and drops the Megaphone. You know what comes next I’m assuming. Post match Funk tries to brand JYD but it doesn’t work. JYD steals Jimmy’s pants and brands him afterwards.

Rating: D. Pretty weak here as it was about as paint by numbers as you could ask for. Funk got a weird short push around this time as he was a great heel that WWF didn’t really ever capitalize on. To be fair though he was gone soon so it’s not like it really mattered. This was more of a comedy match but the right guy won so my complaints will be limited.

It’s time for round one of the Halloween competitions. The wrestlers in costumes are rather funny. Iron Sheik is Batman of all people. The captains are Heenan and Albano. I wonder who is going to win this, which is a pie eating contest. Hogan is Hercules, Bundy is Abraham Lincoln, Albano is in a toga.

Savage and Liz are Tarzan and Jane (Liz in leopard REALLY works), Volkoff is Robin, Heenan is Davy Crockett, Tito Santana is Zorro, Gene is a pumpkin, the Hillbillies are the 3 Musketeers and this is awesome. Albano is Caesar apparently. Albano vs. Bundy in pie eating. This could cripple the pie market. It’s most consumed in 90 seconds. Albano is declared the winner. That was rather disturbing to watch.

Piper’s Pit

The guests are Hillbilly Jim, Cousin Junior and Cousin Elmer. The latter two were brought in because Jim broke his leg and they wanted to keep the angle going. We recap the last main event where Piper and Ventura were jerks. Piper has ridiculous heat at this point as he was the most evil man alive back in the mid 80s.

Elmer keeps saying things are none of Piper’s business. Piper says it was Ventura that said all those things and Jim calls Ventura out. Here’s the future governor which is just hilarious in hindsight. Dang that ring is huge. Piper shoves Junior over Orton for a school boy thing and it’s on. The Hillbillies get Jesse’s hat and stomp on it.

It’s time for round two: the Pumpkin Dunk. It’s Cousin Junior vs. Heenan. JYD is a mummy. He sucks at that too. It’s like bobbing for apples but in chocolate and with pumpkins. Heenan is whipping the hillbillies so far which is weird. Heenan actually wins fairly which is very weird. Good freaking night Liz was perfect.

Gene is with Studd, Bundy and Heenan. Heenan brags about his team as he was so good at. The heels say nothing interesting.

Hogan and Andre say they’re ready.

Hulk Hogan/Andre the Giant vs. King Kong Bundy/Big John Studd

Hogan in white is always interesting. This was the main house show main event at the time so you would see this quite often around this time. It’s still Eye of the Tiger for Hogan which is weird to say the least. He’s rocking an Abyss shirt as it says American Made. Who would have thought ripping a shirt off would get such a pop?

Hogan vs. Bundy starts us off. Hogan of course can’t slam him and hurts his back. That lasts less than two seconds and it’s ALL Hogan. Ok make that Andre, called the Big Boss Man here which is something I’ve heard before. I love Andre’s punches since he has to swing down to connect due to his height.

Hogan does the majority of the match due to Andre already being injured. Ventura says he’ll be in a six man on the next SNME with the previously mentioned guys. Andre accidentally hits the referee and of course we get a huge brawl. It’s weird when Hogan is the smallest guy in there. Actually it isn’t as he commonly was. Another referee comes in since the original is more or less dead. Vince’s overselling of all this stuff is great. After a commercial we have Studd vs. Andre.

Hogan spits at Studd after knocking him down. What a nice guy. Andre gets tied up in the ropes and Bundy hits the avalanche on Hogan and the double team begins. The referee throws it out as Hogan makes the save. Hogan and Andre win by DQ.

Rating: D. This was a glorified squash as the heels controlled for a combined 9 seconds I think. This was just to have a TV spectacle and nothing more which is fine I guess. It’s a tag team main event match, but this was just different and didn’t work in the slightest. The historical aspect helps it a bit though.

Andre rambles on a lot afterwards and is difficult to understand. I think he wants the pastrami on rye.

We now get the debut of the Land of 1000 Dances video, which for any nostalgic fan like me is must see.

That was just awesome, if nothing else for seeing Bret Hart try to dance.

Gene asks Savage why he has a woman for a manager. Savage says anyone that asks that is blind or stupid. Savage was brand new at this time and wouldn’t mean anything until he made it to the finals of the Wrestling Classic less than a week after this aired. Gene stares at Liz as she leaves. Can’t blame him.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Savage vs. Tito Santana

Oh yes! Liz’s cleavage makes this work. Santana doesn’t even get an intro? These two had some freaking WARS on the touring circuit and they never ceased being awesome. Savage stalls and the heat is GREAT. Savage nails him with a right and Santana looks like he got shot. Was there a point to that clap Savage would do before throwing a back elbow? I always guessed rhythm or something. DAng this is fast paced.

Savage was just completely awesome at this point and Santana wasn’t far behind. You have to keep in mind that Savage was completely revolutionary in what he did. The heels on this show so far are Roddy Piper, Bob Orton, Terry Funk, Bundy and Studd. None of them are incredibly athletic guys. Piper was more of a talker than a wrestler at this point, Funk was brand new, Orton was a bodyguard that occasionally wrestled and Bundy and Studd were Bundy and Studd.

Savage came out there as this small guy that was completely insane and could go move for move with guys like Santana. He was a completely new kind of heel as he had a mean streak but wrestled like a face but with insane speed. He was exciting yet deadly, which made him AWESOME. Liz didn’t hurt either, as women managers simply didn’t happen that often, at least not in WWF.

Savage runs away and catches Santana coming back into the ring and the fight is on on the floor. Savage goes for a piledriver out there, channeling his inner Memphis. It’s a double count out to set up the final blowoff match I believe in Boston where Savage won the title about three months later, holding it until he lost it to Steamboat.

Rating: B-. Short but exciting as all goodness. These two are another pair of guys with mad chemistry together and this was no exception. This is another of those matches that you simply can’t screw up, even in a 4 minute TV match. It was another of their many battles and while it’s not great, some of their others were utterly fantastic.

Mr. Fuji makes funny sound effects and grinds his knuckles into his head.

Steamboat breaks cinder blocks and wood. There’s a Kung Fu Challenge coming up.

We go to Roddy Piper’s house to see how he spent Halloween. Piper is making candy apples out of bowling balls and chocolate out of bricks. Piper is completely insane here and it’s hilarious. He looks like the villain in a decent comedy/horror movie. Some kids come up and Piper HAS to be on coke here.

No one could talk this fast otherwise. One of the kids is dressed as Hogan. Piper drops bowling balls in their candy bags and steals some of their candy. He’s COMPLETELY insane here and then it turns out the kids give him chocolate covered red peppers. This was funny yet oddly creepy.

Hogan thinks it was funny.

Fuji is ready for the Kung Fu Challenge.

We see a clip of Steamboat being hanged by Fuji and Muraco. Steamboat says nothing of note.

Mr. Fuji vs. Ricky Steamboat

There are different rules here apparently. Don’t worry: they’re not important or anything since we aren’t told what they are. Basically it’s an overly long striking contest with little of note to it. Steamboat hits a missile dropkick from the top for the win. Muraco and Fuji beat up Steamboat afterwards.

Rating: N/A. This was definitely something different so I’ll give them points for that. That doesn’t mean it’s good or anything though.

It’s time for the finals of the Halloween Games. This is the Pumpkin Pass where you have a line of guys and you put a pumpkin under your chin and between your chest and pass it to the next guy and so on and so forth. Furthest down the line wins. The faces allegedly cheat but there’s no proof of it. HOGAN SCREWS IT UP!

They score five passes. The heels then go and have Roddy with them, apparently giving them an advantage somehow. The heels keep covering things up with capes and we get an upskirt shot of Liz as we more or less see her in a bikini. Oh yes. They only get four and therefore the faces win. Savage blames Liz of course.

Vince and Jesse close us out as Monster Mash plays in the background.

Overall Rating: C+. This is FAR more about comedy here than anything else but it had that 1980s charm to it that worked pretty well. Again the wrestling is freaking bad but to be fair it wasn’t supposed to be that kind of show. There was no direction here so they improvised and it worked well I thought. Not really recommended, but the comedy is solid and they didn’t try to be anything impressive here, which made this work I think.

 

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Great American Bash 1998
Date: June 14, 1998
Location: Baltimore Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 12,810
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

We’re at the big summer PPV which originally gave us everything between the first War Games and the worst major PPV of all time, so it’s hard to say what to expect here. There’s a double main event with Sting vs. Giant for control of both tag titles and an actual tag match of Hart/Hogan vs. Piper/Savage with Piper and Savage agreeing to fight each other after it’s over. Hopefully the lower part of the card can save the top guys again. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a seizure inducing series of videos of the people in almost all the matches with various patriotic symbols in between.

The announcers talk about the main events a bit.

Gene talks about the Giant vs. Sting tag title match. Apparently Giant will pick Disciple if he wins both belts. That’s quite the team.

Now the announcers preview match #7 (really 8^th) match in the Booker vs. Benoit series. We get a video of the original seventh match from Thunder where Bret Hart tried to give Benoit the match but Chris didn’t want to win it that way. Booker agreed to another match tonight, winner take all.

Booker T vs. Chris Benoit

The winner gets a TV Title shot tonight against Finlay. Feeling out process to start with Benoit hooking a very quick armdrag to take over. Booker might have a bad knee coming in after the match on Thursday but he comes right back with an armdrag of his own. Benoit bails to the floor and it’s right back to a standoff a few seconds later. Booker grabs a hammerlock to take Chris down before hooking a half nelson into a rollup for two. Benoit fights up and cranks on a hammerlock of his own, only to be elbowed in the face.

Benoit is sent into the corner and peppered with more forearms before charging into a boot to the jaw. Chris will have none of that and takes out the bad knee with a dragon screw legwhip to get his first real advantage. They head to the corner for some WOO inspiring chops from the Canadian before he elbows Booker in the face for two. We hit a chinlock on Mr. T. as Tony compares Booker vs. Benoit seven times to Finlay fighting guys like High Voltage. There’s a snap suplex for two on Booker as things slow down a bit.

Benoit’s belly to back superplex is countered into a cross body for two but Benoit comes right back by stomping Booker down and putting on another chinlock. Booker fights up again but a hard knee to the stomach puts him right back down. Benoit drapes Booker’s ribs across the top rope for two but doesn’t seem sure how to follow up. Back to the chinlock as the fans immediately start cheering for Booker again. Off to a surfboard hold with Benoit’s knees in the back but Booker fights up and scores with a powerslam.

T goes up but Benoit steps to the side to avoid a spinning cross body ala Samoa Joe in a nice counter. A Crossface attempt lands right in the ropes so Benoit goes right back to the chinlock. Booker elbows up and hits an enziguri to put Benoit back down. There’s the snap spinebuster followed by a flapjack, allowing Booker to spin up. The missile dropkick is broken up with Booker getting crotched on the top, allowing Chris to superplex Booker down in a great looking crash.

Neither guy can immediately follow up though until Benoit gets a very delayed cover for two. Here are the rolling Germans but Booker breaks it up before the third. Instead Benoit busts out the dragon suplex for a very near fall. Booker is sent into the corner and tries the spinning sunset flip but Benoit is still in the middle of the ring in a nice bit of psychology. Benoit suplexes him down again and hits the Swan Dive but still can’t cover. Booker comes back with a side kick to the back of the head, setting up the missile dropkick for the 100% clean pin.

Rating: B. This would have been better with a minute or two cut out to lower the chinlockery levels, but even with them this was a great opening match and a perfect way to fire up the crowd. It’s one of those matches where both guys come out looking great though I would have liked to see Booker win more. Still though, very few complaints here.

Chavo is on the internet and says he needs the punishment that Eddie will give him tonight.

Saturn vs. Kanyon

I believe this is Kanyon’s first match under that name. Someone comes out in the Mortis gear but the real Kanyon sneaks in behind Saturn and gets two off a rollup. A neckbreaker gets the same as Kanyon starts fast. Saturn gets stomped down in the corner as Kanyon still has his vest on. An electric chair into a faceplant gets two but Kanyon has to deck Kidman off the apron. There’s a clothesline to put Saturn on the floor as this is all Kanyon so far. Saturn trips him up though and scores with a slingshot splash for no cover.

Kanyon gets back up and hits a kind of Fameasser out of the corner as Lodi, Riggs and Horace are all on the floor. Saturn kicks him to the floor for a triple team from the Flock, followed by a BIG dive over the top to put everyone down. Nick Patrick throws the Flock out and Kanyon is whipped into the barricade (called the post by Tony) to injure his ribs. Back in and Saturn kicks away at the head and puts on an ankle lock. Off to something resembling Cattle Mutilation but Kanyon gets his feet in the ropes.

Kanyon is crotched on the ropes and a springboard clothesline from Saturn puts both guys on the floor. Saturn throws a chair into the ring as apparently this is Raven’s Rules. Perry uses the chair as a springboard for a dropkick in the corner and a Sabu Triple Jump Moonsault gets two. Saturn tries a sunset flip but gets caught in midair with a northern lights suplex for a close two. Saturn comes right back with a swinging neckbreaker for two of his own and we hit the chinlock.

They get back up with Saturn getting suplexed down and then dropped throat first across the top rope. A jumping back elbow to the jaw puts Saturn down and a fireman’s carry flapjack gets another near fall. Kanyon’s downward spiral is countered into a half nelson suplex from Saturn but the Death Valley Driver is escaped as well.

Saturn kicks Kanyon in the face but he loads up a superplex instead of covering. Kanyon fights back and both guys get crotched before falling out to the floor. Cue the guy who played Mortis earlier….and another guy in a Mortis mask as well. The Mortises (Mortisi?) slug it out and brawl to the floor as Kanyon hits a quick downward spiral for the pin.

Rating: B. Take two guys who can do a ton of moves in the ring and let them beat the tar out of each other for fifteen minutes. The pair of masked guys near the end had me worried but thankfully they didn’t do anything but throw Saturn back inside. Kanyon had a ton of potential as the guy just showing off every night but like everything else in WCW, that wouldn’t get very far.

One of the Mortises holds up Kanyon’s arm but pulls him into a DDT. That one is Raven but we don’t get to see who is under the other hood. Raven says Saturn had one job but couldn’t even do that right so here’s the Flock for the big beatdown. Saturn will have none of that though and fights them off, including a suplex for Raven.

To recap so far, we’re about 45 minutes into this show and two of the matches have been GREAT. You’ve had Benoit, Booker, Saturn and Kanyon tearing the house down and firing the crowd up over a match for a shot at the lower card title and a story that makes little sense. These guys are tearing the house down, but how long would it be before any of them got anywhere? Nearly two years, with Booker and Benoit becoming world champions because the original choices for champion were unavailable. It’s amazing what politics and idiocy can do to a company.

We recap Malenko vs. Jericho since Slamboree. Basically Jericho has been demanding the title back because Malenko wasn’t announced as an entrant in the battle royal and saying Dean was letting his dead dad down. Malenko agreed to give up the title for a shot against Jericho. Chris freaked out because he wanted to be handed the title instead of having a match for it.

Cruiserweight Title: Dean Malenko vs. Chris Jericho

The title is vacant coming in. They stare each other down before charging into a double clothesline. Jericho pops back up and hits another clothesline to take over but Dean comes right back with a German suplex. Malenko stomps Jericho down in the corner as Chris screams like a coward. Jericho gets up a boot to stop a charging Malenko before putting on a headlock. Malenko rolls out of a quick Liontamer attempt and gets two off a suplex. Dean puts a knee in Jericho’s back and pulls on his arms to give us more screaming.

Dean whips him into the corner for a Flair Flip, but Jericho takes it two steps further by hitting his head on the post and getting caught in the Tree of Woe. Jericho falls out to the floor but slides back in to hit a pescado to the floor to take over. Back in and a suplex gets two for the blonde before it’s off to a sleeper. Dean fights out but gets suplexed back down for another two.

Jericho is getting frustrated at not being able to finish Malenko so he chokes Dean on the top rope. A slam sets up the Lionsault but Malenko rolls away to get a breather. Malenko comes back with a leg lariat and a rolling cradle for two. A middle rope facejam out of the corner gets another close two and Dean puts Jericho on the top. Jericho is able to fight out of the super gutbuster and hook a top rope hurricanrana. A very quick cover gets two for Chris but his powerbomb is blocked by right hands.

Jericho rolls through the cover into a regular Boston crab but Malenko quickly makes the ropes. Dean tries to jump over Jericho in the corner but gets caught in an Alabama Slam. Jericho still can’t hook the Liontamer so Dean grabs the Cloverleaf. Chris gets to the ropes even faster than Dean did and grabs a quick butterfly backbreaker. Jericho slaps him in the face and says Dean is nothing, just like his dead father. That’s enough for Dean and the brawl goes to the floor where Malenko cracks Jericho with a chair for a DQ.

Rating: B-. Logical but frustrating ending aside, this is the third straight good match of the night. Malenko snapping is a great thing to see and Jericho being forced to shut up and wrestle is always worth a look. This feud has been really solid and Jericho using his brain to take away Malenko’s calm was really smart.

Dean isn’t done and takes Jericho to the back, ramming him into various things along the way. They go outside the arena with Jericho being rammed into a mailbox. They get too near the traffic and security steps in, so Jericho sprints across the street and into another building. Jericho is announced as the winner via DQ.

Eddie begs Chavo for forgiveness and for Grandma to get him out of this.

Juventud Guerrera’s music starts but stops after a second so the announcers can talk about Jericho having a claim to the Cruiserweight Title.

Video on Juventud Guerrera who won’t give up. By this I mean him walking around ancient ruins in Mexico.

Juventud Guerrera vs. Reese

Standard giant bully vs. scrappy little guy story coming into this. Guerrera prays before the match starts and we get a LONG staredown. Juvy tries a right hand but is easily sent backwards into the corner. He charges right back and scores with some shots to the face but Reese shoves him right back down. Guerrera bails to the floor and gets Reese to chase him, only to slide back in and try a dive. Reese pulls him out of the air and tosses Juvy back inside but the small man kicks at the knee as Reese gets back in.

Reese grabs Juvy by the head and holds him back to show just how much bigger he is than Guerrera. Juvy goes up and tries a choke before ripping at his face. Reese goes down to one knee where he still comes up to Guerrera’s shoulders. The big man finally just drops back to crush Juvy and the beating begins. There’s a backbreaker with Juvy being bent over Reese’s knee like a toy.

A HUGE beal sends Guerrera across the ring and Reese stands on his hair and pulls on Juvy’s arms. There’s the bearhug with Reese shaking Juvy around like he’s made of paper. Reese lets him go so Juvy kicks him low a few times, which is legal since Reese is in the Flock ala Saturn earlier. In a smart move, Reese drops down to a knee to punch Juvy in the face.

A vertical suplex puts Juvy down but he climbs up the referee to beat the ten count. Now Reese gets a chair but referee Charles Robinson pulls it away. Juvy goes up top for a hurricanrana but gets caught in midair. Lodi has the referee for no apparent reason and Van Hammer pops up to blast Reese with the chair, allowing Juvy to flip him over (even more awkwardly than you would imagine) and get a pin with Reese’s shoulders only about four inches off the mat.

Rating: C+. They were THIS close to hitting this out of the park but the ending didn’t quite work. The hurricanrana looking terrible and the pin being a disaster brings this down but that’s about its only problem. They had the crowd right where they wanted them and could have blown the roof off if the underdog won like he should have. Hammer coming in was fine as if Juvy overcomes too much it becomes comical which is the wrong idea. This was a tightrope to walk and they almost pulled it off.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

This is the match I’ve wanted to see more than any other after seeing the buildup. Eddie tried to turn Chavo into an Eddie clone and kept tormenting Chavo when he couldn’t get it right. Chavo finally snapped and completely turned the tables on Eddie, sending his uncle running scared. Chavo is all ticked off to start and slaps Eddie in the corner, causing the uncle to pound him in the face. Eddie takes him down with a trip but Chavo gets on top and pounds away with right hands.

Back up and Chavo rushes at Eddie but gets dropped face first on the top turnbuckle. Eddie misses a charge into the post though and Chavo rams him into all three buckles in a corner a total of about 15 times. Chavo drags him around the ring by the hair and dropkicks him down, sending Eddie out to the floor. He tries to walk out but Chavo is still ticked off. They head back in where Eddie kicks the rope into Chavo to take over.

Back in and Eddie works on the arm for a bit before sending Chavo to the apron. The nephew goes up top and tries a flip attack but lands on his feet, only to run across the ring and go up top for a moonsault press, good for two. Eddie sends him right back into the corner and out to the floor as this has been very physical for the first six minutes or so. Back inside and a brainbuster puts Chavo down, but Eddie slaps him in the face to make Chavo snap again. Chavo chases Eddie around the ring until Eddie gets back inside and hides behind the referee.

The distraction lets Eddie get in a shot to the knee and Chavo stops cold. A dropkick to the knee sends Chavo down in a heap so Eddie puts on a figure four. Eddie yells at the fans and lets the hold go before putting on the Gory Special. Again Eddie lets go of the hold and kicks Chavo in the face to set up a camel clutch. The fans chant for Goldberg so Eddie lets go of the hold to act as a conductor. There’s an over the shoulder backbreaker but Eddie spins him around and drops Chavo down to the mat for no cover.

Chavo blocks a slam and LAUNCHES Eddie over the top in a backdrop. A big running dive completely misses Eddie as Chavo jumps too high but it looked great. Now the fans want Flair because a good match with a good story isn’t good enough for them anymore. Back in and a bulldog gets two for the nephew but he takes WAY too long setting up a frog splash, allowing Eddie to shake the ropes to bring him down. Eddie’s frog splash misses though but he still blocks a tornado DDT. Chavo is sent to the floor so he springboards back in for a tornado DDT and the stunning upset pin.

Rating: B. I can’t believe I’m saying this but this has been an AWESOME show so far with good match after good match. This was the perfect blowoff to the story with Chavo showing he was learning the entire time, but not in the way Eddie was hoping for. He’s gone from a generic cruiserweight to an interesting character who just pinned a former US Champion clean. Good stuff here, as has been the case all night.

We get the Piper vs. Savage confrontation from Nitro to remind us that the last hour and forty five minutes of awesome are going to be brought down into the abyss very soon. Given that there are five matches left and about an hour to go, things are about to get very screwy in a hurry.

TV Title: Booker T vs. Fit Finlay

Booker doesn’t have any elbow pads or gloves on here which is a weird look for him. There’s an undefined extended time limit over the usual ten minutes here. Booker sends him into the buckle to start followed by an awkward looking clothesline. A kick to the face gets two for Booker but he misses an enziguri, allowing Finlay to hook a leg lock. Back up and Finlay forearms his way out of a headlock, only to have Booker come back with a flying forearm for two.

Some chops put Finlay on the floor but he comes back in to block an ax kick and go after the leg again. There’s a half crab followed by a regular crank on the leg to keep Booker in trouble. Finlay slams the knee onto the apron and wraps it around the ropes for good measure. Booker comes back with the spinning sunset flip out of the corner for two, only to have the champion come back with another leg crank. He wraps Booker’s knee around his neck ala the Brock Lock before going off to a kind of half Liontamer.

Booker rolls away and just pounds Fit in the head with right hands, only to have Finlay come right back with a shin breaker and another leg hold. They head outside again where the referee has to stop Finlay from getting a chair. The knee is wrapped around the post and Finlay hits a Vader Bomb for no cover. Instead he yells at the crowd and kicks Booker’s knee even more but stops to yell at the fans.

Booker comes back with a spinwheel kick and a powerslam before hitting the ax kick. He spins up so Finlay clotheslines him inside out. The tombstone from Finlay is countered into an AWFUL looking sequence where Booker was supposed to backflip into a tombstone of his own, but instead he fell down and got covered for two. Back up and Finlay misses a charge into the “post”, allowing Booker to hit a kneeling piledriver (Finlay was facing forward but Booker dropped to his knees like a tombstone) for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. And there goes the really good match streak. The match wasn’t horrible but you can only watch Finlay lay on Booker’s leg and pull on the ankle so many times in thirteen minutes. The ending was HORRIBLE too with the sequence being botched and the ending coming out of nowhere. Also Booker not selling the knee at all after coming in with a bad knee and having Finlay work on it for ten minutes was inexcusable. I think everyone knew Booker would win here after taking the series, which made him look like a star.

US Title: Konnan vs. Goldberg

Hennig and Rude are with Goldberg’s dinner tonight. Goldberg is now from Parts Unknown instead of Atlanta. To say the place has gone nuts is an understatement. Konnan is easily shoved to the floor and wants to know what that was. Back in and Goldberg grabs a headlock followed by a botched roll thru into a legbar. Konnan grabs a rope and gets two feet up in the corner to stop a charge. Not that it matters as the spear and Jackhammer make Goldberg 100-0.

Post match Hennig and Rude turn on Goldberg and join the Black and White. That’s the best move as neither of the fit with the Wolfpack at all. Luger and Nash come out for the save.

I’m going to pause for a minute here and recommend that you go do something else. So far this has been an excellent show with logical booking, good matches and hard work from almost everyone involved. No more good can come from the remaining parts of this show. You would be better off being stuffed inside a bag and beaten with large wooden clubs. I might recommend going to a blind dentist with Parkinson’s Disease for a root canal. Or better yet just go watch the first two hours of this show again. Don’t say I didn’t warn you if you keep going.

Roddy Piper/Randy Savage vs. Hollywood Hogan/Bret Hart

This is the real main event though we’ve been promised Savage vs. Piper post match as a “bonus”. Savage is Wolfpack, Hogan is Black and White, Hart is technically NWO but never made it official and Piper is one of the last heroes remaining in WCW. He might be the only one in the main event picture actually. Sign in the crowd: Savage/Piper vs. Hart/Hogan: WELCOME TO JURASSIC PARK!

To the shock of no one, it’s a stall fest to start. It’s Hogan vs. Piper to get us going but Roddy spits at Bret. Hogan backs into the corner so Piper calls time out before jumping him for our first contact about two minutes in. Hogan gets poked in the eyes and has his bandana taken off to reveal a bald head. Off to Savage who rams Hogan face first into the buckle before it’s back to Piper for some biting and right hands.

Disciple hits Piper in the back with the world title to give Hogan control. Yeah remember the guy that has been beaten up like he’s in a Three Stooges short is world champion. Bret gets the tag and hits a few forearms before bringing Hogan back in for right hands. Piper staggers around and won’t go down so Bret cheats a bit to get him on the mat. Bret comes back in for a Russian legsweep and the middle rope elbow for two.

Hogan chokes Piper from the apron but Piper comes back with one of the worst small packages ever. He flails his arms and tags Savage which doesn’t count for no apparent reason so Hart puts on a front facelock. Piper makes another tag which doesn’t count due to Patrick not seeing it, allowing for another double team. Savage comes over with a chair and puts it on Piper’s chest so Bret’s headbutt hits steel.

The hot tag brings in Savage and the pop from the fans pales in comparison to pretty much any given pop of the night so far. Hart and Hogan stop Savage pretty easily, only to have Hogan deck Hart by mistake. Everything breaks down and Savage goes up for the elbow, only to have his knee give out. Hogan and Piper head outside where Hogan wraps Savage’s leg around the post. The Sharpshooter goes on and Savage is done.

Rating: F. I would pay big money to be in the production meetings to hear Hogan and Bischoff explain why Hollywood should be pushed so hard. These matches aren’t even acceptable or decent. They’re absolutely horrid with no redeeming value whatsoever and making the entire promotion look like a joke. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Hogan is coming off like the Honky Tonk Man. He wrestles glorified comedy matches, gets destroyed for good chunks of them and then survives through some sort of shenanigan. I knew these matches were bad but I didn’t realize how horrible they really were.

Since that wasn’t enough though, IT’S A RODDY PIPER DOUBLE FEATURE!

Roddy Piper vs. Randy Savage

Bret still has Savage in the Sharpshooter when the bell rings so Randy is pretty much done already. Wait or was that the closing bell for the opening match? Gene comes in to talk to Piper but he helps Savage up instead, only to have Macho punch Piper. Savage chokes him down and actually hits the elbow but Piper, superhuman that he is, gets to kick out at two. The referee gets punched out so Piper hits Savage low and pokes him in the eyes. A figure four makes Savage quit for the second time in five minutes with his finisher only getting two in between. That’ll teach him for getting cheered.

Tag Titles: Sting vs. Giant

So if you haven’t been following the Nitro and Thunder reviews leading up to this, you’re a schnook. Go read them now. Anyway, Sting and Giant won the belts when Giant joined the Black and White. Sting turned down an offer to do the same and is in the Red and Black, but the titles were held up because Giant tried to replace him with Brian Adams, leading to this match. The winner gets to pick his new partner to be the tag champions.

Giant smokes a cigarette on the way to the ring to get the fans to boo him. He blows smoke in Sting’s face in the corner but misses a charge into the corner, allowing Sting to fire off kicks to the ribs. The Stinger Splash lands on a boot though and Giant sends him to the floor. Back in and Sting’s cross body just bounces off of Giant so he lifts Sting up into a gorilla press, LAUNCHING him face first into the buckle. That looked awesome.

We hit the bearhug for a good while as we’re almost out of PPV time. Sting bites his way out of the hold and dropkicks the knee out. A Stinger Splash to the back and one to the front have Giant in trouble and there’s a slam for good measure. The Deathlock goes on but Giant easily powers out of it. Instead a Death Drop gets two and Sting blocks a chokeslam. Another Death Drop gets another two but a Death Drop from the middle rope is enough for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D+. It wasn’t a masterpiece but this was better than most recent Nitro main events. This felt like a dark match to send the fans home happy and there’s really nothing wrong with that. It ends the stupid titles in two camps story and lets Sting pick a partner later on. In a word, this was acceptable.

Overall Rating: B. If you cut out the tag match and put in ANYTHING else, this is one of the best PPVs WCW ever put on. Everything ranges between very solid to acceptable at worst and most of the booking makes perfect sense. That tag match really hurts it though because it’s just so horrid.

If I were booking this show, I would have thought about putting Goldberg on last. It’s a B-level show and the last match was just less than seven minutes long and for the tag belts. Make Goldberg vs. Konnan a five minute match for the US Title and do the Hennig/Rude turn the next night on Nitro. On top of that it was to make him 100-0. That would send them home happy. Shockingly good show here though, embarrassing real main event aside.

 

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Monday Nitro #59
Date: October 28, 1996
Location: America West Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Attendance: 6,300
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Larry Zbyszko, Mike Tenay, Eric Bischoff, Bobby Heenan

We’re FINALLY done with Halloween Havoc and the big reveal: Roddy Piper is back. Hogan and he literally talked until the show went off the air last night and neither really said anything. Tonight we begin the road to World War 3 which wasn’t a world title match for Hogan because he took that show off I guess. Hogan vs. Piper wouldn’t happen until Starrcade where the ending was pretty stupid. Oh and the Outsiders are tag champions now. Let’s get to it.

Larry is in a sport coat and a Superman t-shirt. He and Tony talk about Piper arriving last night. The still of Hogan’s face is GREAT.

TV Title: Steven Regal vs. Juventud Guerrera

Sting, in white facepaint, is watching from the rafters. Oh here we go. Some NWO fans come in with signs and the fans all react. Juvy and Regal hit the mat and wait for things to calm down. Syxx pops up in the crowd with a mic. The match basically stops and Syxx says he’ll be Cruiserweight Champion. Now the match gets going again as Syxx gives Sting a recruitment speech. Juvy snaps off a rana and a dropkick. He loads up the 450 but Regal moves. The Stretch ends this quickly. Too short to rate, especially with the match just stopping for about 45 seconds for Syxx.

Tony is about to interview Regal but talks about Sting first. Sting gets up and walks away.

We get some stills from Luger vs. Anderson last night.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Mike Enos

I don’t like Enos’ chances. Enos slaps him almost immediately and they go to the floor. Page sends him into the barricade to take over. Back in a Batista Bomb gets two. Top rope clothesline hits an we’ve got Outsiders. Page points at them so Enos can take over. Enos points at them and maintains control. I guess he’s better at time management than Page is. Enos points at them again and hits a powerslam again. He loads up a Bulldog powerslam but takes too long, letting Page hook the ropes and counter into a Diamond Cutter. The Outsiders seem pleased as Page gets the pin.

Rating: D. Eh it’s just a three minute match so how bad can it be? This would start the angle that made Page a star which I’ve been mentioning for months. See? I’m not crazy. Enos had signaled that the running powerslam was his finisher, which is impressive since I didn’t know he had one. You learn something new every day.

Stills of Dean winning the Cruiserweight Title last night from Rey.

Dean Malenko vs. Jim Powers

There’s a player from the Suns in an NWO shirt. Psicosis comes out to watch the match. Powers controls to start with headlocks but Malenko uses the technical stuff to get us to even. They go to the mat and Powers grabs an armbar. Dean is a heel here if you’re not familiar with this period. Off to a chinlock as Nick Patrick has a sore neck and argues with Teddy for awhile. Powers makes a brief comeback with an atomic drop and clothesline for two. A right hand gets two. Knee lift puts Dean down and a powerslam gets no count because Patrick is arguing with Teddy. Dean rolls Powers up for the pin.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here other than to continue the Patrick is a bad referee and is feuding with Teddy Long storyline. I don’t remember what Patrick has against Long but I guess we’ll get to it soon enough. Powers is fine at what he’s doing which is just easily jobbing to people, but he’s pretty boring. Granted that’s his job so it’s hard to complain.

Still of the Dungeon vs. Horsemen last night. The Horsemen won but Benoit and Mongo got laid out. Sullivan and Woman had words but we don’t know why yet.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Ricky Morton

Memphis explodes! Jarrett controls early but Ricky works on the arm. Morton hits a spinning crossbody out of the corner for two. Jarrett suplexes him down and Tony plugs World War 3’s ticket info. Top rope cross body is rolled through for two but Jeff hooks a neckbreaker to keep control. Figure Four is rolled up for two. A knee crusher sets up the Figure Four and it’s over.

Rating: C-. Again not bad but just there to get Jarrett on TV. He was so painfully uninteresting at this point and I don’t think anyone cared about him at all. They basically did the same thing with Hennig like a year later and it actually worked. Jarrett didn’t get over as a serious guy until he ditched the country music, but that was years away.

Giant, with the US Title which isn’t his, says he had Jarrett last night but Flair saved him. He runs down the Horsemen, saying that Jarrett will be chokeslamed soon. Jarrett says bring it on. He says it after Giant leaves but he does say it. Jarrett also becomes the probably 58th person to say WCW has to unite to face the NWO.

Amazing French Canadians vs. High Voltage

High Voltage starts off fast and beats up every French Canadian in sight. Rage vs. Oulette start us off. We launch fireworks to remind the fans that the show is two hours long, because the wrestling match going on doesn’t tell them that the show is still going. Savage isn’t here tonight. The foreigners take over and hit the Rougeau Bomb onto Kaos and then load up the Quebecers’ Cannonball finisher before the Nasties run in for the DQ. Too short to rate but it was just there to give the Nasties two teams to beat up.

The Nasties yell about Hogan and swear revenge. They don’t belong to WCW, just like Sting and Piper. They’ll always be Nasty though.

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Jimmy Graffiti

Graffiti jumps him and hits an electric chair drop for two. Rey comes back with a springboard moonsault for two. A rana takes Graffiti to the floor but Rey is sent into the railing. Graffiti gets up on the apron and hits a flip dive to crush the more famous one. Chinlock by Graffiti but Rey casually gets up, speeds things up and hits West Coast Pop for the pin.

Rating: D+. All of these matches have pretty much been interchangeable tonight. Nothing has lasted more than about 4 minutes and nothing has been really interesting. Everything has been focused on what happened last night and it’s really slowing things down. The matches haven’t been bad, but they’re all coming and going with nothing really happening at all.

Lee Marshall is in Grand Rapids, Michigan to hype up the show.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit

Please give them more than four minutes. We have like 40 left in the show not counting commercials so it’s not like they don’t have time. Benoit is all taped up from the beating last night. After a break we’re ready to go. Mongo and Debra come out just a few seconds into it, apparently to watch out for the Dungeon. We get an inset interview from Jimmy Hart and Kevin Sullivan who say there’s something about Woman which is going to be revealed soon.

Eddie is banged up too so the match consists of them both trying to get going but every time they do something physical they have to stop and lay on the mat for a long time. Benoit goes after Eddie’s bad ribs. Back in and Eddie is in agony. Benoit hooks on a seated abdominal stretch but since he’s hurt, Eddie fires off an armdrag which really injures Benoit.

Back to that stretch after some more slowly moving around. I don’t remember what caused Eddie’s injuries but I think it was a match with DDP. Wikipedia says I’m right so there you are. Eddie wakes up and pounds away in the corner but he has to pause again. He hits something that looks like a flying headbutt and both guys are down. Woman offers a distraction and Mongo pops Eddie in the ribs with the briefcase so Benoit can steal the pin.

Rating: C. This is a hard one to grade. As far as a match, it’s dull due to having to go very slowly. However, it would have been REALLY stupid to have them go out there and fly all over the place after we saw at least Benoit get mauled last night. I’ll go with right in the middle because the match made sense, but it was still kind of boring.

Nick Patrick and his attorney have an “interview”, which means the attorney is rude and spins things. It’s Jericho’s fault apparently. Jericho comes out and calls BS, saying Patrick is NWO. The attorney suggests Jericho needs anger counseling. Teddy comes out and blasts the attorney so the attorney threatens a slander lawsuit. This just goes on and on for like 4 minutes.

Booker T vs. Lex Luger

This would be a very different match a few years later. There’s no Stevie or Colonel Parker with Booker. There must be a LONG segment planned to close the show because we have well over 20 minutes not counting commercials, so it was probably about 9:30 when this match started. Colonel Parker has a quick promo, saying his gaffe last night (came in with the cane, Hall stole it and clocked Stevie with it for the titles) is all just blown out of proportion.

Lex takes over to start with pure power and sends him to the floor. Booker takes over back in and Sherri yells at the basketball player outside, saying he can help Booker win. Booker gets knocked to the floor again and things slow down one more time. Lex pounds him down in the corner and is acting more aggressive than usual. Lex hits a forearm and we take a break.

Back with Booker holding a chinlock. Wow a match getting over ten minutes. I don’t know how to handle this. Booker takes over and hits some of his basic stuff as Eric seems to drool over the idea of Piper being WCW. The Hangover misses and Lex calls for the Rack, but Sting pops up in the crowd and stares Luger down. Lex jumps into the crowd and runs after Sting for the countout loss.

Rating: D+. This was an elongated version of what we had going on earlier. Nothing to see here but they had a lot of time so they let them go for awhile. The problem is Booker wasn’t ready to do this yet so the match was pretty boring. It’s not that bad but it was again there just for the ending.

Eric talks about Piper calling WCW and asking for five minutes to confront Hogan. Here’s the whole segment from last night which basically says that Piper is as big a star as Hogan and Hogan is terrified. They talk forever and Hogan keeps backpedaling. Why Giant didn’t destroy him is still beyond me. This goes on for about ten minutes. The line of “If they didn’t hate me so much do you think they would have loved you so much” is pretty dead on though. They cut off the ending due to time.

Here’s the NWO to offer a rebuttal to last night because they didn’t talk enough there. Hogan gets a spotlight and says he told you so. As for Savage, he respects him due to carrying the burden of WCW. Hogan implies sex with Liz I think. After about two or three minutes he addresses Piper. He lies about what we just saw (classic heel move) and says Piper is scared. DiBiase says Hollywood is going to entertain us now so Hogan poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. I really wasn’t feeling this one. Everything here was kind of a big recap show for Halloween Havoc. Nothing at all was advanced in the main event as the whole ending was just a quick thing from Hogan which goes nowhere. I still don’t get why they went with Hogan vs. Piper in 1996 and then in 1997, but it made them a fortune so it’s really hard to question them. It doesn’t pick up for about three weeks though.

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Monday Nitro #140
Date: June 8, 1998
Location: The Palace of Auburn Hills, Auburn Hills, Michigan
Commentators: Larry Zbyszko, Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay

We’re at the last Nitro before the Great American Bash and we have a new co-main event for Sunday of Sting vs. Giant for the tag titles. It’s hard to say what we’re going to get tonight as almost everything is set, meaning we’ve got a three hour commercial for a show that doesn’t sound all that interesting in the first place. Let’s get to it.

We open with Michael Buffer doing his Are You Ready schtick. Instead of a big match though, he’s introducing Hogan and Bischoff for the opening promo. They have a special guest with them though as Dennis Rodman is back. Bischoff sucks up to Hogan and Hollywood brags about having Rodzilla back with him. He dares Piper and Savage to come out here for a fight right now. Rodman gets the mic and says hey a lot and sucks up to the Detroit fans since he used to play for the Pistons. Bischoff tells the fans to bite him and Hogan brags about how awesome the Black and White are. Not much to see here.

We look at Sting joining the Wolfpack because we haven’t seen it in a few minutes.

Opening sequence.

Nitro Girls.

The announcers talk about the power struggle for a few minutes as is their custom.

We get some interviews Mike conducted with fans on Sting joining the Red and Black. I don’t think the main event of Starrcade got this much attention.

Here’s the Wolfpack with something to say. Nash, the hometown boy, sucks up to the Detroit crowd before praising Luger to sign Sting up and then get DDP to team with him on Thunder. Kev talks about being ready to walk out of the business about five years ago because he couldn’t get a break, but DDP believed in him. That being said, now DDP needs to make a decision.

The Wolfpack has had a vote and it was nearly unanimous (apparently Savage voted no in a nice bit of continuity): they want him in the Wolfpack. Two years ago Page decided to not go Black and White and that was the right call. Tonight though he can make the right call and join the Dream Team. This brings Nash to Hogan but the mic stops working. Hogan’s voice comes from the technical area where the Black and White are watching the show. Rodman is allowed to set off some pyro and turn off the lights to get rid of the Wolfpack.

Konnan interviews JJ Dillon in the back and asks him to prevent the Black and White from doing anything else tonight. JJ says that it’s the Wolfpack’s problem, not WCW’s.

Yuji Nagata vs. Jerry Flynn

Flynn gets in some kicks to the ribs and pounds away in the corner but misses a running kick, sending him out to the floor in a heap. Back in and a high collar suplex gets two for Nagata but Jerry comes back with a snap suplex of his own as the announcers talk about anything but this match. A leg lock gets Nagata nowhere so Flynn comes back with a DDT for two. Yuji comes back with a jumping kick to the face but Flynn hits a kick to Nagata’s head to even it up. Tony talks about some announcement we’ll get on Thunder as Jerry goes after Sonny Onoo, allowing Nagata to put on the Nagata Lock for the win.

Rating: D. I’m really tired of these karate showdowns because there’s nothing to any of these characters other than they like to kick people. Neither guy here is interesting in the slightest and it’s really questionable to have this as the first match in over half an hour. Is it any wonder why no one stuck around to watch these shows when Raw came on?

Here’s Jericho with an envelope and something to say. It’s a registered letter from Ted Turner himself. The letter says that Jericho has asked Turner to look at the Cruiserweight Title loss. Turner praises him for tenacity and thinks Jericho has a lot of the same traits Turner himself had. After reviewing the tapes from Slamboree, it has been determined that Dean Malenko should not be the champion. However, Jericho’s incessant whining has sickened Turner, so the decision stands. Signed, Uncle Ted Turner.

We see Luger recruiting Page to the Wolfpack from Thunder.

Reese/Horace vs. Van Hammer/Juventud Guerrera

Hammer and Reese get us going but everyone comes in before too long. A double clothesline puts the Flock members down and Juvy hits a springboard seated senton to take Reese down. Juvy pounds away with right hands to send Reese to the floor before hitting a big dive, only to be caught in midair. Hammer dives on top of both of them to put Reese down so the good guys can stand tall. Well kind of tall in Juvy’s case.

We really get started with Hammer vs. Horace and Hulk’s nephew taking Hammer down with a Samoan drop. A running clothesline crushes Hammer in the corner and it’s off to an arm wringer. Horace wraps up the arm but gets caught in a cobra clutch slam, allowing for the hot tag off to Guerrera. A slingshot legdrop keeps Horace down but he gets up a big boot in the corner to put Juvy down.

The big man beating begins with Horace pounding away before hooking a reverse chinlock. Juvy fights up again and snaps off a quick hurricanrana before countering a belly to back superplex into a crossbody. There’s the real hot tag off to Van Hammer who cleans house but regular clotheslines don’t do much damage to Reese. A middle rope clothesline finally takes him down and a Cactus Clothesline puts Horace to the floor. Not that it matters though as Reese hits a chokebomb on Guerrera for the pin.

Rating: D+. Nothing special here but at least there’s a story going on here. Juvy needs to get the win in the showdown with Reese but having him lose in a tag match like this is ok. The match wasn’t all that good but it was a huge step up over the battle of the karate guys from earlier.

The Black and White has a party with some good looking women. Hogan promises a new member of the team soon and talks about how Skinny Legs Nash isn’t getting away with all those powerbombs Hogan had to pay for.

Hour #2 begins with a riveting interview with JJ Dillon. He reiterates that Luger and DDP aren’t tag champions because Giant had no authority to pick a partner to defend the titles. Sunday it’s Sting vs. Giant for both belts and the winner gets to pick his partner.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Scott Putski

Putski is a good example of a guy with a great look with almost nothing else to back it up. Guerrero runs into a hard shoulder to start but takes Scott down with a drop toehold. An elbow to the face sets up an abdominal stretch by Eddie as you can feel the ratings battle slipping away. Putski fights out and hits a scary looking release German suplex, dropping Eddie down on his shoulder. A short powerbomb puts Eddie down as Tony shills the big announcement on Thunder again. Eddie escapes a gorilla press and dropkicks the knee out but here’s Chavo for the DQ without actually doing anything.

Rating: D+. Believe it or not this might have been the match of the night so far. Putski wasn’t doing anything of note but he was throwing Eddie around pretty nicely. He would have been a good candidate to throw into a tag team as a silent enforcer. Eddie was his usual smooth self.

Chavo punches Scott out as Eddie bails. The nephew shouts at Eddie to come back because he needs his uncle.

Nash and Konnan, with the latter in different clothes than he was in earlier, say they’ve got some money from the 5,000 Wolfpack t-shirts they sold tonight so they can pay Hogan back now. The money is in a Swiss bank account down there. Down where you ask? Both guys laugh before they can answer.

Bischoff and Giant are at the tech area again because we haven’t heard enough from the NWO tonight. Apparently Giant hasn’t eaten in four days so he’ll eat Sting on Sunday like the chicken he is. Somehow this took two and a half minutes.

Here are Rude, Hennig and Konnan in his fourth appearance in ninety minutes. Rude cuts a heel promo on Goldberg but Konnan does his usual deal to get the crowd back on the Red and Black’s side. Rude and Hennig just don’t fit with the Wolfpack at all.

Chris Benoit vs. Booker T

Match #6 in the best of seven series for the TV Title shot on Sunday with Booker trailing 3-2. Feeling out process to start until with Booker taking it to the mat, only to have Benoit take over with a hammerlock. Booker counters into one of his own before lifting Benoit into the air into a kind of pumphandle slam. A spinning kick to the face puts Benoit down again and the Canadian bails to the floor.

Back in and Booker hooks another armbar as Heenan talks about Booker having more video equipment to watch tapes than Bob Crane (star of Hogan’s Heroes, eventually became a sex addict who made hundreds of sex tapes). Benoit fights up and hits a knee to the ribs to send Booker out to the floor. The Canadian gets two off an elbow to the face and a snap suplex for the same.

A belly to back suplex gets the same and the Swan Dive connects, but Benoit might have injured his shoulder and can’t cover. Cue Stevie Ray to give Booker a pep talk but his comeback is stopped with a German suplex for two. Booker comes back with a kick to the face and the sidewalk slam but Benoit fires off kicks in the corner to slow Booker down again. Not that it matters as Booker hooks a spinning sunset flip out of the corner for the pin to send up to a seventh match.

Rating: C+. This match is another instance of the same problem this entire series has had: the matches are still good but they’re running out of things to do to each other. Still though, I can’t imagine anything on the show topping what they did here. Thankfully there’s just one match to go in the series though.

Benoit kicks Booker’s leg out post match but Stevie runs him off.

Nitro Girls.

Nitro Party winner.

Hogan and Hart are in the sky box again so Hollywood can make gay jokes about Konnan. We get a pretty awesome Randy Savage impression from Hogan as he brings in Liz. Apparently she’s a gift to Bret and is no longer with Savage. Ok then.

We look at the end of the Booker vs. Benoit movie again with Tony actually praising Benoit’s heel actions. That’s new at least.

TV Title: Fit Finlay vs. Norman Smiley

Finlay grabs a headlock and a cravate to start but Smiley hiptosses him down and scores with a dropkick. Finlay comes back with a rake to the eyes and takes Smiley down into a Crippler Crossface. Back up and a running forearm puts Smiley on the apron for some shots to the chest. The fans do the wave and the announcers actually call it. Finlay puts on an armbar for a bit before planting Norman with the tombstone to retain.

Rating: D. The announcers spent more time talking about the wave, the announcement on Thunder, Booker vs. Benoit, or ANYTHING else they could come up with besides the match. Could it be because Finlay is clearly just a placeholder for the winner of the series and Smiley had no chance at all here? I’m sure this match had fans glued to their sets instead of watching whatever Austin was doing to McMahon at this point.

Hour #3 begins.

Here’s Tony in the ring for something actually interesting: a Sting interview, which I believe is the first one in over a year. Sting says Giant is fat and talks about how he beat up big guys like him at the first Great American Bash. He recommends Giant loses some weight and take a shower before Sting wins both belts on Sunday. This was nothing.

Back from a break with Tony still in the ring for even more talking. This time it’s Piper who compares himself to Barry Sanders and promises to hit Hogan and Hart in the head so much that they’ll feel like they just got out of a Red Wings’ game. Piper makes jokes about Karl Malone beating Dennis Rodman in the NBA playoffs and says Savage is from a test tube. This draws out Macho who will fight Piper after the tag match on Sunday.

Piper says they’ll fight in Baltimore but Savage wants to do it tonight. Hart and Hogan (appearance #5 tonight) pop up at the tech area again and apparently Liz is a present for Eric, who doesn’t need Viagra. Eric kisses Liz as Bret cracks jokes about Savage and Piper. Savage says he’s over Liz but not Piper and there’s a right hand to the Scot. Piper punches Savage back, sending him to the floor. This ran nearly ten minutes whereas Sting got about three.

The announcers talk. Again.

We recap Jericho’s tour of Washington DC last week as well as Jericho showing the 1934 NWA rule book to Malenko on Thunder.

Cruiserweight Title: Disco Inferno vs. Dean Malenko

Dean stomps him down in the corner to start and gets two off a powerslam. Disco comes back with a clothesline and an elbow drop for two but Dean puts him back down with a leg lariat. The Cloverleaf retains the title with ease.

More Nitro Girls, this time in pink.

The Black and White, including Hogan (#6) are with the girls in the lounge again to run down the Wolfpack some more before introducing a video of Hogan’s newest movie.

Video of Hogan (#7) and Steiner on a movie set where they run into Carl Weathers (Apollo Creed from the Rocky movies).

Back to the lounge for Hogan to talk about how awesome an actor Scott Steiner is going to be.

Video on Goldberg.

US Title: Goldberg vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Chavo requested this match and says “be very very quiet. I’m hunting Goldbergs.” Chavo dives at Goldberg and is easily sent lying across the ring. A kind of fallaway slam puts Chavo down again and there’s a gorilla press into a powerslam for good measure. Eddie is cheering on the stage as Goldberg hits the two move combo to become 99-0.

Here’s the Wolfpack (appearance #5 for Konnan tonight) to offer Page a spot on the team. Page comes to the stage where Tony asks him for his decision. DDP talks about the talent he sees in the ring and says he can’t believe what he’s about to do. Before he can say what he’s going to do, Hogan (appearance #8) and Rodman come up behind and blast him with chairs. Sting and the Wolfpack chase the NWO off to end the show.

Overall Rating: N. As in NWO, because that’s all this show was about. This was a really good example of something WCW was horrible about: putting FAR too much of the focus on one idea instead of spreading the show around. Hogan was on TV in 8 (arguably 9) different segments in about two hours and twenty minutes of total air time. The guy has reached new levels of overexposure and we’re to the point that I just don’t care about what he’s doing at all.

On top of that, there was barely any wrestling at all on this show and the only stuff we got was decent at its very best. I mean, Booker vs. Benoit was a fine match, but it’s literally the sixth time they’ve done the match in two weeks. Of the other six matches, two were under three minutes, one was a karate off, one was a squash, another featured Ivan Putski and the last was a decent match featuring the Flock B-Team. Is it really any shock that Nitro hasn’t won a ratings night since April? Absolutely awful show this week with the NWO just crushing everything in their sight.

 

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