Monday Night Raw – April 13, 2026: Talk Em In

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 13, 2026
Location: Golden 1 Center, Sacramento, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves

It’s a special show this week with the final Raw before this weekend’s Wrestlemania. That means we are not likely in for much in the way of the wrestling, but we should be getting a lot when it comes to hyping up matches. If nothing else, it should be the last big push between Roman Reigns and CM Punk. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Roman Reigns joins us to start and talks about how the fans trust him more than CM Punk because he’s real with them. We see some of Punk’s recent actions and what Pat McAfee has said about him. Reigns is giving Punk one more chance to tell the truth tonight. This was approved by Roman Reigns. Odd ending but ok.

We look at the Brock Lesnar/Oba Femi contract signing brawl from last week.

Adam Pearce is in the ring with HHH to open the show and says tonight, Lesnar and Femi will sign their contract separately. This brings out Paul Heyman, who says no one will get close to Lesnar during Wrestlemania fight week. Lesnar comes to the ring and signs, with a tip of his hat to Pearce. Heyman goes to talk about Femi, but Lesnar takes the mic and says no one will know Femi’s name after Wrestlemania. Heyman says there will be a winner and a loser and the winner will be Lesnar.

We look at the setup for the Wrestlemania six man tag.

The Vision is training with IShowSpeed, who is worried due to the whole “I’m not a wrestler” issue. They tell him that it doesn’t matter so he gets in the ring with the vision and what appears to be Dante Chen and Edris Enofe. Speed hits a nice high crossbody and a rather aggressive Boston crab before declaring himself ready.

Charlotte vs. Lyra Valkyria

Their partners are here too. Valkyria takes her down into a headlock to start but Charlotte reverses, only for Valkyria to slip away. Charlotte nips up and Valkyria drops her with a spinwheel kick, much to Bayley’s approval. A whip into the corner sends Charlotte to the apron and Valkyria kicks her to the floor. The dive misses though and Charlotte hits a big boot as we take a break.

We come back with Valkyria hitting a top rope ax kick for two but her moonsault hits knees. Charlotte’s moonsault connects for two but Natural Selection is blocked. Something like a fisherman’s buster gives Valkyria two so Charlotte throws her onto Bayley. Back in and Charlotte tries a rollup but Bayley trips her down to give Valkyria the pin at 10:24.

Rating: C+. This was another basic preview for the four (or maybe three) way at Wrestlemania. That’s not a bad way to go as Valkyria getting a pin on Charlotte is one way to change the titles. These random matches are about all you can do with the match set up and the match was completely acceptable.

Post match we get a staredown but it doesn’t get physical.

LA Knight and the Usos are ready for Wrestlemania but here are Solo Sikoa and the MFT’s to interrupt. Sikoa insults Knight and calls him an embarrassment, so Knight wants a six man tag against any of the MFT’s tonight.

We look at a clip from the Hulk Hogan documentary, focusing on the original NWO turn.

Here is Stephanie Vaquer for a chat…and Liv Morgan pops up from behind to shove her into Cathy Kelly. Agents break them up and Morgan calls her a little b****. Vaquer charges in and the brawl is on again before they’re separated again, leaving Morgan screaming a lot.

Video on Rhea Ripley vs. Jade Cargill, including Iyo Sky being taken out.

Sky is in the back when the Kabuki Warriors come up. Asuka calls Sky Ripley’s sidekick but Sky tries to tell Sane that she doesn’t have to listen to this. That’s cut off and Asuka makes Sky vs. Sane for tonight. Asuka calls Sane a good girl and they leave together.

Usos/LA Knight vs. MFT’s

Jimmy knocks Mateo into the corner to start and it’s off to Jey for a running forearm. Jey clotheslines Mateo to the floor for a big dive and we take a rather early break. We come back with Sikoa knocking Jimmy to the floor but Jey fights his way out of trouble. Knight comes in to clean house and Mateo is sent outside. Knight drops Loa but Mateo makes the save as everything breaks down. Jey low bridges Sikoa to the floor, where Sikoa sends him over the announcers’ table. Cue Tama Tonga (not here earlier) for a staredown with Sikoa, who isn’t pleased with him. During the distraction, Knight gives Loa the BFT for the pin at 6:48.

Rating: C+. This was another fine match, though I’m not sure why they needed a break in a match that doesn’t even last seven minutes. The good thing is Knight and the Usos have some momentum heading into Wrestlemania. Yeah it’s just a celebrity match, but at least it’s something a bit unique rather than the same multi team/man stuff we get elsewhere.

We look at Pat McAfee and Cody Rhodes’ segment from Smackdown. This resulted in Randy Orton beating up Jelly Roll.

Here is Gunther for a chat…and never mind as Seth Rollins runs in to knock Gunther outside. Rollins heard Gunther say it was personal between them last week and he wants to know why. He offers Gunther a chance to get in the ring and explain (which makes you wonder why he beat Gunther up in the first place) so Gunther grabs a mic.

Gunther goes face to face with Rollins and says it has ticked him off to hear Rollins talk about how he was the best in the world. When Gunther was World Champion and going for the best competition in the world, Rollins became Paul Heyman’s servant. Gunther says it’s personal to him because he wants to prove he’s the best in the world. The fight is on with Rollins knocking him to the floor but Gunther avoids a Stomp on the steps and bails into the crowd. That is a rather basic explanation from Gunther but it’s something that makes perfect sense for him.

We get a video narrated by John Cena advertising Club WWE (which has been shown in graphics for the last few weeks), which is a way to get fans exclusive access to various things. No word on how much it costs but I’ve heard worse ideas.

We see some smoke with red lights flashing over it and….yeah the Demon is officially back to face Dominik Mysterio.

Dominik Mysterio isn’t happy with Adam Pearce for letting this happen but he didn’t sign to face the Demon so the match has to be canceled. That won’t happen, and Pearce doesn’t care for Dominik talking about his father like he’s a loser. Pearce tells him to go look in the mirror because he’ll get what he deserves.

Iyo Sky vs. Kairi Sane

Sane takes her down and pounds away, followed by a running shoulder in the corner. A nice looking top rope forearm and we hit the chinlock. Sky fights up and flips out of a headscissors before taking Sane outside. The moonsault off the barricade drops Sane again and we take a break.

We come back with Sky’s missile dropkick connecting to send Sane into the corner. Over The Moonsault is broken up so they both go up top, with Sky being knocked into the ropes. Sane is knocked down so cue Asuka to send Sky into the post. This brings out Rhea Ripley (Asuka rolls up her sleeves) for the brawl but Jade Cargill runs in to jump Ripley from behind. Sane dives onto Cargill but Asuka breaks up Over The Moonsault again. Sane’s rollup gets the pin at 9:57.

Rating: B. This wound up being a match with a big angle and I got into what we were seeing. The Asuka vs. Ripley brawl didn’t last long but it made perfect sense for all of the run-ins. That’s a nice way to build up a few stories at once and it happened to come with a rather good match as well.

Video on AJ Lee vs. Becky Lynch.

Here are Adam Pearce and HHH for the signing with Oba Femi. Cue Femi, who signs the contract without saying a word. Paul Heyman pops up on stage to say he has never seen someone be perceived as the best around as fast as Femi. Heyman says Femi is the most violent person to come into WWE since Brock Lesnar so the fans chant for OBA.

This annoys Heyman again, but he says that everything comes crashing down for Lesnar at Wrestlemania. Don’t worry though, because Heyman’s door will always be open to him after Wrestlemania. The fans want Femi to beat Heyman up, but Femi says those scars will heal. The emotional beating after he beats Lesnar though? That never goes away. There are twenty five years of history that Lesnar can’t be beaten but Femi has four weeks of evidence that he can. It’s time to end the Beast and everyone can feel it.

Heyman has been Lesnar’s mouthpiece but he has never been an honest one. If Heyman was honest, he would have come out here and said that Lesnar was scared. Femi is the mountain that Lesnar cannot climb and the Beast is being slayed at Wrestlemania. Femi’s delivery isn’t perfect (granted he doesn’t have much experience) but I believed what he was saying and it sounded like he did too, which is a big part.

We get a Liv Morgan music video for a song called Trouble. This is certainly different, but it’s basically just an excuse to have Morgan dancing on TV in various outfits.

Je’Von Evans/Dragon Lee vs. JD McDonagh/Rusev

McDonagh stomps Lee down in the corner to start and hits a hard clothesline. Evans gets knocked off the apron and it’s off to Rusev to keep Lee in trouble. That’s broken up and it’s off to Evans to make the comeback. Rusev gets low bridged to the floor but McDonagh Asai moonsaults onto Lee. Evans dives onto him but gets fall away slammed onto the announcers’ table.

We take a break and come back with Lee’s running hurricanrana to send McDonagh into Rusev. McDonagh is able to catch him with a running Spanish fly so Evans is back with a flipping kick to the head. The huge dive over the top takes Rusev out, leaving Lee to roll McDonagh up for two. The Styles Clash puts McDonagh away at 8:13.

Rating: B-. This was a fast paced tag match with Rusev playing a good monster. That’s something the ladder match has been needing, as it has felt very thrown together. Giving it a bit of attention is a good idea and hopefully they can deliver on Sunday. The problem is that it’s still a bit thrown together, but this was the best build it has gotten thus far.

Post match Rusev wrecks the winners, as is his custom. Rey Mysterio runs in for the save attempt but gets taken out. Cue Penta but Rusev clears the ring again, including taking out McDonagh. Rusev grabs the Accolade on Lee and cranks way back.

Wrestlemania rundown.

Danhausen interrupts Adam Pearce and wants to talk to John Cena on the phone. Cena isn’t on the phone, though Danhausen hopes that he can see him at Wrestlemania. And then Danhausen disappears.

Here is Roman Reigns for the big closing segment. Reigns takes his time to set up the catchphrase but here is CM Punk, in the crowd, to cut him off. Punk takes his own sweet time to get to ringside, where he gets on the announcers’ table. Punk talks about watching the cold open and says stop him when he’s telling lies. Reigns says they won’t need these mics but Punk says this he hates Reigns because he envies him.

This is all Punk has ever wanted and he is jealous that it was handed to Reigns. He hates that Reigns was champion for so long, because he knows how hard Reigns worked to do that. Punk says the legacy is about how many and he hates how many times Reigns has main evented Wrestlemania. He hates that he feels this way before shifting over to Sika (Reigns’ father).

The reality is that Sika was a champion and a great man and a Hall Of Famer. Punk respects the old timers and he apologizes for invoking Sika’s name in vain. He hates that there is more than one royal family in wrestling and he hates that he wasn’t born into a dynasty. Punk doesn’t know what it’s like to have that kind of family. He grew up on the streets of Chicago and had to find his family.

Those people were found in barns, bowling alleys, abandoned churches and VFW halls. Punk conquered the indies and then he went to Japan and England and he made wrestling his home and family. Punk hates that he feels this way and he hates that he has to share his first singles Wrestlemania main event with Reigns. Tell him when he’s telling lies. He has gold on his shoes and gold around his waist, and on Sunday night after their fight, the gold will be around his head because he’ll still be Heavyweight Champion of the World. Tell him when he’s telling lies (Reigns has just stared at him during this whole thing).

Reigns says that’s probably the truest stuff he’s ever heard Punk say, except for the ending. The truth is he’s hated Punk for a long time, but that’s because of the relationship Punk has with the fans. He hopes that they chant for him when he leaves. No one can take away the connection he has with the fans and that’s his truth. The reality is that the time is up because on Sunday it’s not “AND STILL”, because it’s “AND NEW”.

The nostalgia act is through and on Sunday we fix this mess that Punk has made. On Sunday, the Tribal Chief takes over again and you, and everyone else, will acknowledge him. The staredown ends the show. Reigns didn’t get to say much but he didn’t really need to. This was a money promo and felt like a Wrestlemania go home speech from Punk, who showed some rare vulnerability. There have been some problems with this Wrestlemania build but this hasn’t been one of them.

Overall Rating: B. The wrestling wasn’t much here but that’s almost always the case with five days to go until Wrestlemania. This show was mainly focused on talking and the stuff we got worked well, with Punk’s speech and Femi’s response to Heyman going strong. I want to see their matches over the weekend as the Raw half of the shows are looking good. They mostly stuck the landing here, though the weekend is what really matters.

Results
Lyra Valkyria b. Charlotte – Rollup
Usos/LA Knight b. MFT’s – BFT to Loa
Kairi Sane b. Iyo Sky – Rollup
Je’Von Evans/Dragon Lee b. JD McDonagh/Rusev – Styles Clash to McDonagh

 

 

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WrestleMania Count-Up – WrestleMania XXXV (2020 Edition): It Does Help Things

Wrestlemania XXXV
Date: April 7, 2019
Location: MetLife Stadium, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 82,265
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Renee Young, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips
America the Beautiful: Yolanda Adams

We’re back to this show after a year away and I’m not sure what to think about this one. I wasn’t in the stadium for this one and for once that is making me remember the show a little bit better. This whole thing is centered around a few matches, as Wrestlemania always tends to be. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Cruiserweight Title: Buddy Murphy vs. Tony Nese

Murphy is defending and this is during Nese’s (who won a tournament to get here) not so great face run. First good thing: there are a bunch of people in their seats already so the place doesn’t look ridiculous. Murphy misses a running knee at the bell so Nese hammers away in the corner and tells the fans that this is his Wrestlemania moment. A cartwheel off the apron lets Nese hit him in the jaw but Murphy grabs a fireman’s carry drop onto the corner (Colt Cabana’s Chicago Skyline) as we take a break.

Back with Murphy holding a chinlock but getting suplexed into the corner to cut things off. Some running elbows to the face rock Murphy and the Lionsault, with Murphy hanging in the ropes, gets two. Nese catches him on the ropes with a palm strike, only to get pulled into a Cheeky Nandos kick. A powerbomb into a spinning faceplant gives Murphy two as we get the “still filing in line” from commentary. Murphy’s Law is countered and Nese hits a reverse hurricanrana to put them both down again.

Murphy wins a strike off but Nese is right back with a sunset driver for his own near fall as the fans are finally getting into this. The running Nese doesn’t get to launch so Nese hits the Fosbury Flop instead. Back in and the 450 gets two in a surprising near fall. The jumping knee connects out of nowhere and Murphy’s Law gets two as Nese gets a foot on the rope. Ever the villain, Murphy tries his own running Nese, which is cut off by a superkick. The real running Nese finishes Murphy at 10:44.

Rating: C. The 205 Live guys had several matches that would blow this one away but at least they had a nice moment in the end with the fans getting into things. Nese as a face didn’t exactly click but beating Murphy felt like a bit deal. It’s a nice mini feel good moment to start what is going to be a long night.

Kickoff Show: Wrestlemania Women’s Battle Royal

Zelina Vega, Kairi Sane, Ember Moon, Liv Morgan, Sarah Logan, Ruby Riott, Mandy Rose, Carmella, Maria Kanellis, Asuka, Sonya Deville, Candice LeRae, Naomi, Nikki Cross, Lana, Dana Brooke, Mickie James

Only Naomi and Asuka get entrances. Nikki goes nuts to start and it’s a big brawl, as a battle royal should be. Maria is out in a hurry and Asuka knocks out Candice and Nikki back to back. Ember and Naomi trade hurricanranas until the former hits a quick springboard Eclipse on Lana. Another Eclipse gets rid of Naomi and there’s the real version to Mandy. Ember goes up again but Lana (the one in the designated Captain Marvel attire) shoves her out.

Sane hits an Alabama Slam on Lana and goes up like a schnook, only to get shoved to the apron by Logan. Even the bigger schnook, Logan doesn’t eliminate her but rather joins the rest of the Riott Squad to go after Lana. The elimination doesn’t take long but Sane drops Logan. The Insane Elbow connects, only t have the Squad get together and eliminate Sane without much trouble. An assisted flipping Stunner rocks Vega but AGAIN Logan doesn’t get the elimination.

Instead the Squad goes after Asuka and again they don’t eliminate her. Brooke gets to fight off all three of them and manages a slow motion Thesz press on Morgan. Riott goes after Brooke and gets tossed, with Morgan following her out. Brooke’s handspring elbow hits Vega’s knees though and the running knees in the corner make it worse. Rose and Deville get rid of Vega and Brooke, meaning we can get a big hug.

We’re down to Rose, Deville, Asuka, James, Logan and Carmella, the latter of whom seems to be on the floor because that’s something you have to have in battle royals these days. James hurricanranas Rose to the apron and superkicks her out, only to get dropped by Deville. Asuka beats up Logan and Deville at once but she manages to toss Deville. Logan gets rid of Asuka but, say it with me, Carmella is still in and superkicks Logan out for the win at 10:33.

Rating: D. Holy sweet goodness I can’t stand that finish and yet we seem to get it in every few battle royals (including last year’s women’s battle royal). I know Carmella getting the win is for the sake of the New York fans but egads this feels like a waste of a match, which tends to be the case with so many of these pre-show battle royals. In other words: more of the same stuff that wasn’t good in the first place.

Kickoff Show: Raw Tag Team Titles: Revival vs. Curt Hawkins/Zack Ryder

Revival is defending and picked the match because they thought it would be an easy win. See, Hawkins hasn’t won a match in two and a half years so of course he gets a Wrestlemania title shot (you have to keep the New York crowd happy you see). Dawson shoves Hawkins down to start and then pats him on the cheek in the corner. We get a recap of the Edgeheads as Dawson headlocks Hawkins down.

Ryder comes in as we hear about how the show in “the shadow of New York”, which is acknowledged as New Jersey, likely for one of the only times tonight. A middle rope missile dropkick puts Wilder down but Dawson low bridges him out to the floor. Something close to a top rope Demolition Decapitator gets two and the armbar goes on. Dawson comes back in and rips at the face before working on his own armbar.

That’s enough of that so Wilder grabs another armbar (he’s up 2-1 on Dawson) to keep Ryder down. Ryder fights up again but neckbreakers his way out of a double suplex. With Hawkins being distracted, the champs cheat to set up a hard clothesline for two more. The assisted legdrop gives Wilder two and we hit the chinlock as this keeps going. Ryder finally suplexes his way to freedom and there’s the hot tag to Hawkins.

House is cleaned until it’s a double clothesline to put Hawkins and Dawson down at the same time. The middle rope Rough Ryder hits Dawson but Ryder and Wilder crash out to the floor. Wilder saves Dawson at two and tornado DDTs Ryder on the floor. A brainbuster drops Hawkins outside as well and they’re all down for a bit. Back in and Hawkins is dead but manages a small package for the pin and the titles at 13:20. Hawkins slowly realizing that not only is the match over but that they won is kind of awesome.

Rating: D+. This went on too long but the ending was fine after setting everything up for so long with the losing streak. Hawkins and Ryder are a likable team so it’s not like them winning the titles is a bad idea. Besides, WWE has already taken away anything that the Revival could offer (and yet it would still get worse) so the loss doesn’t do a ton of damage to them anyway.

Kickoff Show: Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Otis, Karl Anderson, Andrade, Gran Metalik, Chad Gable, Heath Slater, Bo Dallas, Colin Jost Jeff Hardy, No Way Jose, Lince Dorado, Bobby Roode, Konnor, Tyler Breeze, Viktor, Luke Harper, Ali, Apollo Crews, Michael Che, Titus O’Neil, Tucker, Braun Strowman, Shelton Benjamin, Jinder Mahal, Matt Hardy, Curtis Axel, Rhyno, Luke Gallows, EC3, Kalisto

So the big deal here is Jost and Che are from Saturday Night Live and Strowman doesn’t like them. The two of them bail to the floor and hide under the ring as Axel is out in about ten seconds. Dorado takes a SCARY bump to the floor with Breeze, EC3 and Benjamin following him out. There goes Dallas as well but it’s time for a staredown with Strowman and Harper.

That’s broken up in a hurry and Titus gets rid of Slater. As expected, Titus is out a few seconds later off a missed charge and Ali gets rid of Jose. Ascension sends Strowman shoulder first into the post for a crash to the floor (through the ropes so no elimination). Anderson isn’t so lucky as he gets tossed and the Hardys do the same to Rhyno. Roode and Metalik are out next as the ring is starting to empty a bit.

Andrade tosses Kalisto onto Metalik but Gable rolls Andrade with German suplexes. Since it’s Gable though, Andrade throws him out in a hurry, leaving Otis to hit a double Caterpillar on the Ascension. They’re both out as well but Strowman is back in to get rid of Gallows, Tucker and Otis in a row. There goes Mahal as Harper tries to suplex Ali over the top. With Ali hanging upside down, Strowman kicks Harper out, nearly dropping Ali on his head in a very near miss.

We’re down to Strowman, Andrade, Matt, Jeff and Crews in the ring with Che and Jost still underneath the ring. Andrade and Crews go to the apron and Andrade tries a hurricanrana for no intelligent reason in a double elimination. Strowman puts the Hardys on the apron in the battle of North Carolina as Che and Jost get back inside. They can’t get rid of Strowman, who dumps the Hardys and is ready for the destruction.

Jost grabs a mic though and says this doesn’t need to end in violence. He presents his personal therapist, whose breathing exercises earn him a chokeslam. Che tries to eliminate himself but Strowman punches himself out instead. Strowman misses a charge and almost gets eliminated but powers through it and tosses Jost for the win at 10:27.

Rating: D+. Yeah it’s stupid and the SNL guys added nothing to the whole thing but Strowman won in the end and there were some nice spots (granted they went with some scary ones) throughout. It isn’t anything better or worse than your usual “get them all in there” battle royal and it could have been worse. That’s high praise for something like this anymore.

And with that Smackdown length Kickoff Show out of the way, we can get on with the real show. Isn’t modern WWE great?

Yolanda Adams sings America the Beautiful and we get the big helicopter flyover.

The opening video, complete with a WWE Presents, features the wrestlers talking about how Shakespeare said all the world’s a stage. Tonight, this is their stage and they are the players. We get the classic moments of course because this show is built around history. They do a good job of starting this slowly and then building it up into a big feeling. As usual, WWE’s promo videos are nothing short of incredible and somehow they manage to get better a lot of the time. That being said, wrestlers calling themselves storytellers doesn’t sound right.

Maybe it’s how many times I’ve heard the song on highlight packages since then, but that Love Runs Out theme song is really catchy.

Here’s Alexa Bliss, the host for the evening, to open things up. Bliss talks about how this show needs a goddess and if she snaps her fingers, she can make a Wrestlemania moment. A snap of her fingers produces Hulk Hogan, who is happy to be back here in the Silverdome. That gets a chuckle so then he calls it the MetLife Center in a joke that doesn’t go over as well. Hogan and Bliss pose together in a cute moment.

Hold on though as Paul Heyman storms out and says we’re doing the Universal Title match RIGHT NOW. The faster Lesnar wins, the faster he can go to Las Vegas where he is ULTIMATELY appreciated.

Raw World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Seth Rollins

Rollins is defending after winning the Royal Rumble and gets a big BEAST SLAYER intro. At least BURN IT DOWN gets a big reaction so they’re doing something right. Lesnar jumps him before the bell and knees Rollins off the apron. An F5 plants Rollins on the floor and a hard whip into the barricade makes it even worse. Rollins gets tossed over the announcers’ table as the beating is on in a big way. That’s not enough for Lesnar so he throws Rollins over another table before throwing Rollins inside.

Heyman and Lesnar talk the angry trash but it’s back to the floor before the opening bell. Cole: “Seth Rollins never had a chance!” And there’s your usual WWE line that gives away the ending. Brock throws Rollins over the announcers’ table for a third time and then through the cover of the announcers’ table. They go back in for the opening bell and there’s the first German suplex. Lesnar: “SUPLEX CITY B******!” Give him his t-shirt money.

The second suplex sends him flying again as Cole brings up the Wrestlemania XXXI cash-in. The F5 is countered though and Rollins gets in a low blow. That means a low superkick and three straight Stomps make Rollins champion at 2:30. It was an exciting start and the whole thing from Lesnar’s first attack ran about 7:00. They had to get the title onto Rollins here (though more importantly off of Lesnar) and this was certainly a memorable way to do it. Certainly more so than when they did it again in a longer form four and a half months later.

AJ Styles vs. Randy Orton

This is your “here are two big names without much else to do” match. Orton eliminated him from the Elimination Chamber and they got in an argument about who built Smackdown. Orton’s big CGI snakes really don’t look great but those things are hit and miss for everyone. AJ headlocks him to start and is promptly driven into the corner. A very early threat of an RKO sends AJ bailing to the corner and it’s another standoff.

Orton pokes him in the eye and hits a dropkick to take over, including a boot across the eye to make it even worse. AJ gets in his own dropkick though as they’re pretty even in the early minutes. With Orton taking a breather on the floor, AJ scores with the slingshot forearm, only to get knocked off the apron and hard into the barricade. Back in and the chinlock goes on as the fans start chanting something I can’t understand.

That’s broken up so AJ hits the sliding forearm, setting up the fireman’s carry backbreaker for two. An early Styles Clash attempt is countered into a powerslam to give Orton his own near fall as the slow pace continues. The Calf Crusher attempt is countered without much trouble but the second attempt is slapped on in the middle of the ring. Not that the fans are exactly interested but AJ did get it on. That’s broken up in a hurry so AJ heads to the apron for the Phenomenal Forearm.

Orton jumps up to RKO him out of the air (as he had done last week) but AJ holds back, leaving Orton to crash. The springboard 450 gets two but Orton is right back with the backbreaker. Orton’s rather good looking top rope superplex has AJ crashing down for two and an uppercut gets a crazy loud pop (that had to be for something else). The hanging DDT gets no reaction but Orton walking around does, as I’m almost scared to imagine what had the fans’ attention.

AJ hits an enziguri to block the RKO, only to walk into it on the second attempt. That’s only good for two as well and Orton is shocked. With nothing else working, Orton loads up a super RKO, which is escaped without a lot of effort. A Pele sends Orton to the floor and the Phenomenal Forearm knock him even sillier. Back in and Orton still can’t hit the RKO, meaning it’s another Phenomenal Forearm to give AJ the pin at 16:12.

Rating: C-. Things got a bit better by the end but it never got going at any intense level. These two are capable of a lot but it was rather slow paced for the most part and when the match is going that long, it can get pretty tiresome in a hurry. It’s not bad in any sense but it wasn’t exciting and you know these two could do a lot better. That makes it more frustrating than anything else, as I kept waiting for them to get going and they never really did.

Here’s Lacey Evans to continue doing her thing of walking around, smiling, and then walking back.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Rusev/Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Bar vs. Ricochet/Aleister Black

The Usos are defending and it’s one fall to a finish. There is something so awesome about seeing the look on Ricochet’s face as he walks onto the stage. You can see what it means to him and there is no faking that kind of a feeling. This also marks Ricochet and Black’s third shot at different titles this week, after Raw and NXT title shots earlier in the week. Jimmy and Black start things off with a feeling out process until Sheamus tags himself in to face Black.

The armbar doesn’t last long as Rusev tags Sheamus and runs Black over. Nakamura comes in for a kick to the back but the rapid fire tags continue, with Jimmy coming in to Samoa drop Black. Nakamura kicks Jimmy into a tag to Ricochet, who does a very spinny headscissors on Cesaro. Since it’s just a headscissors though, Cesaro uppercuts Ricochet down and starts swinging him, as Sheamus forearms everyone else.

After a nearly 40 second swing (geez), the Sharpshooter goes on in the middle of the ring. Black makes the save and strikes away, setting up a springboard moonsault for two on Rusev. Nakamura is back in with some running knees to Black, meaning Ricochet has to make a save of his own. That earns him a swinging Rock Bottom from Rusev and it’s time for the nine man Tower of Doom. Just to show off, Ricochet flips out and lands safely in the corner, setting up the 630 for two on Sheamus. We hit the parade of kicks to the face with the Usos superkicking Sheamus down. The Double Us retains the titles at 10:05.

Rating: B. This was almost all action from bell to bell and that’s all you can do with a match like this one. Let them do whatever they want and get in spot after spot for a little while. They didn’t overstay their welcome either, as this match got in the right amount of time. Good stuff here and one of the more entertaining things all night so far.

Hall of Fame recap. Thankfully Bret being attacked isn’t mentioned whatsoever.

Here’s the class being presented in the stadium:

Honky Tonk Man (How was he not in yet?)

Harlem Heat (Perfectly fine.)

Torrie Wilson (The new low benchmark.)

Brutus Beefcake (Again, how was he not in yet?)

Hart Foundation (Should have been earlier so Neidhart could be there but long overdue as well.)

Sue Aitchison (Warrior Award.)

D-Generation X (I’m sure they had to twist their arms to get here. Deserved of course.)

We recap Miz vs. Shane McMahon. Somehow Shane won the World Cup despite not being in the tournament and Miz, the man he replaced in the finals, was jealous. Miz’s dad thought they should team together so they won the Tag Team Titles. The reign didn’t last long though and they split up, with Shane turning on Miz. Tonight, it’s Falls Count Anywhere. This was in the middle of Shane’s RIDICULOUS run near the top of Smackdown where he was all over the show and beating main eventers, including that Tag Team Title win. Of course he gets a big Wrestlemania match, because that’s what makes sense for such a star.

Shane McMahon vs. The Miz

Falls Count Anywhere, but hang on as Shane needs to hear his introduction three times in a row. With that out of the way, Shane bails to the floor at the bell so the chase is on, with Shane hitting his horrible punches. In a smart move, Shane grabs Miz’s dad (in the front row) and again, the chase goes badly for Miz as Shane hammers away. They head outside again with Shane loading up the announcers’ table.

A monitor shot to the head puts Miz on the table but Miz’s dad blocks the big elbow. Shane gets down so Miz’s dad gets inside for the showdown, with Miz’s dad doing the pose that launched a subplot on the upcoming season of Miz and Mrs. Shane takes him into the corner and stomps away, drawing Miz back in for the beating. They fight to to the floor with Shane falling over the barricade but hold on as Miz wants someone to check on his dad.

With the medics doing their job, Miz dives over the barricade to take Shane down again. They fight over towards one of the big pillars that holds up the canopy over the ring but Shane fights out of the Skull Crushing Finale. Instead Shane grabs a DDT for two but Miz kicks him down off the stage. Shane is sent knee first into a barricade and Miz beats on him with a chair to blow off some more steam.

They wreck announcers’ row with Miz throwing him over every chair he can find, plus throwing some chairs around. Shane gets sent through a table for two, followed by a monitor shot to knock him over a barricade and onto the top of a well placed golf cart. That gives Miz a delayed two so he punches Shane up towards a production tower. A Skull Crushing Finale onto the platform gets two, because he’s Shane and Miz is just a former World Champion.

Shane fights back (of course) and climbs up to the top of the tower. Miz pursues so Shane begs off, even dropping to one knee. That earns him some left hands to the head and Miz superplexes him all the way down (after asking if Shane is ready) onto a crash pad. Worry not though as Shane lands on top for the pin at 15:25.

Rating: D-. I knew the ending was coming here and I still shake my head at the ending. Shane is the boss’ son but my goodness how hard can you push him? The worst part is that it is only going to get worse as the summer goes on, but this was a punch to the gut as Shane wins AGAIN, meaning he isn’t going away anytime soon. The superplex was a nice idea but showing the landing on the pad (which just happened to be there) took away all of the impact that it had. That is, whatever was left before Shane won of course.

Paige joins commentary.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: IIconics vs. Beth Phoenix/Natalya vs. Nia Jax/Tamina vs. Sasha Banks/Bayley

Banks and Bayley are defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Bret Hart is here with Beth and Natalya (who really feel like fill ins for Trish Stratus/Lita), though he doesn’t go beyond the stage. Tamina shoves Bayley down to start and superkicks Natalya for a bonus. Everything breaks down in a hurry with Nia being sent outside for a ram into the steps. Back in and Peyton rolls Sasha up for two and it’s a double kick to put drop Sasha again.

The Hardys’ Spin Cycle gets two on Banks but she’s right back with a backslide for the same. It’s back to Bayley for a sliding clothesline for two on Beth but Billie tags herself in. The IIconics take over on Beth, who is right back with a suplex to both of them at once. Natalya comes in for two but Bayley makes a fast save. The champs get in a fight with Beth and Natalya and it’s a Bank Statement to Phoenix. That’s broken up but the Glam Slam is countered into a rollup into the corner.

Natalya drops Sasha onto Bayley and they get the always fairly dumb looking double Sharpshooter treatment. This time it’s Tamina making the save and Nia comes back in to wreck everyone else. The IIconics get crushed with stereo Samoan drops but Beth shoves Nia off the top to break up a splash. Sasha takes Beth down as well and Bayley drops the top rope elbow, followed by Banks’ frog splash. The Tower of Doom is broken up so Beth hits a super Glam Slam on Bayley, with Kay making a blind tag. With Beth sent outside, Kay steals the pin and the titles at 10:47.

Rating: D. This went on too long and wasn’t all that interesting in the first place. The titles were brand new at this point and they already seemed pretty worthless, which would be proven over the next year. The fallout here is more interesting than the match itself, as you Nia would go away for about a year with double ACL surgery and Sasha (allegedly) threw a fit over losing and took the summer off.

The pilots from the Kickoff Show flyover are in the crowd. That’s always cool.

We recap Kofi Kingston vs. Daniel Bryan for the Smackdown World Title. Kofi replaced the injured Ali in the Elimination Chamber and got down to the final two. That set up one of the most dramatic things that WWE has ever done, as Kofi got inches away from winning the title and the fans ate it up. It was clear that Kofi had to get the title at Wrestlemania or he never would, which sent Kofi and New Day into a crusade to finally get the title shot that had eluded him for eleven years.

After jumping through all kinds of hoops set by Vince McMahon, it took New Day winning a gauntlet match to get the shot, with their longtime rivals the Usos stepping aside in a great show of respect for Kofi. At the same time, Bryan said that Kofi was a B+ player in an awesome role reversal from his legendary run five years earlier.

The match was finally set and it was a heck of a story, as Kofi had put in so many years of building credibility to get here and was finally cashing in. This wasn’t JBL jumping up to the main event scene, as Kofi had pretty much won every title other than the World Title. That’s not a big jump, but it was hard to believe that they would actually pull the trigger here. In other words, this was EXCELLENT and would have headlined any other year.

Smackdown World Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Daniel Bryan

Kofi is challenging and has New Day in his corner, while Bryan has Rowan. Big E. has a gift for Kofi and promises it for after the match. I had forgotten how nice of a touch Bryan’s eco-friendly belt really was. They stare each other down to start and the fans are behind Kofi, which is almost hard to fathom until you realize that Bryan might be a better heel than face. Kofi’s headlock doesn’t get anywhere so they fight over a backslide. Bryan monkey flips him so Kofi lands on his feet, setting up a dropkick to the floor.

The big dive takes Bryan down again and the roster is behind Kofi in the back. Things slow down a bit as Bryan needs a breather with Rowan. Back in and Bryan uppercuts him a few times to set up the surfboard, which always looks awesome. That’s broken up in a hurry as usual, allowing Kofi to kick away in the corner. Bryan’s moonsault into the running clothesline is countered into something resembling the standing double stomp (almost a Thesz press as Kofi can’t hit it properly) for two.

Kofi’s jumping clothesline works a bit better and the Boom Drop connects. Bryan heads outside again so Kofi tries a springboard dive, which lands ribs first on the announcers’ table. You don’t have to ask Bryan twice to go after the ribs like that so he drops Kofi ribs first across the top rope. The ribs get sent into the corner and it’s off to a waistlock, which works a lot better this time around. Kofi fights up and elbows in the corner but a very quick Trouble in Paradise is countered into a Boston crab.

Bryan’s belly to back superplex is broken up with elbows to the face and Kofi hits a top rope splash to the back for two. They slug it out but Trouble in Paradise is countered again, only to countered into a small package to give Kofi two more. Kofi’s crossbody is rolled through though and Bryan pulls him into a failed LeBell Lock attempt so they’re both down for a second. The running knee is countered into the SOS but Bryan reverses into the LeBell Lock, with Bryan letting go for some more elbows to the ribs.

Kofi finally gets his foot on the rope and you can hear the sigh of relief. Bryan YES Kicks at the ribs even more but Kofi fires up and tells Bryan to kick him even harder. As Bryan backs away, Kofi throws his own kicks and busts out a reverse suplex for two. They head outside again so Rowan can go after New Day, earning himself Trouble in Paradise. The Midnight Hour on the floor takes care of Rowan and Kofi blocks Bryan’s suicide dive.

Back in and Bryan hits the running knee…..for two and a big pop on the kickout. Bryan has had it and unloads with stomps to the head to set up the LeBell Lock. Kofi breaks out again and blasts Bryan with forearms to the face with more aggression than you usually see from him. Bryan won’t let go of the wrist so Kofi stomps him right back, knocking Bryan silly. Trouble in Paradise gives Kofi the clean pin and the title at 23:45.

Rating: A. That is the definition of the Wrestlemania moment and it holds up to perfection a year later. The fans completely bought into the idea of Kofi fighting through everything and winning the title in the end and that’s all it should have been. Kofi is the kind of guy who has been around forever and built up so much good will that when he finally went after the title, everyone was on his side. That made for a special moment and it was amazing throughout as it’s something that I never thought I would see, but here it is. That’s a great thing to see as rare as it can be.

On top of that, this was an awesome match with both guys giving it everything they had. The story here was perfect with Kofi not being the wrestler Bryan was but knowing that this was his one shot and giving everything he had to achieve his dream when he could. The fans believed in him and there was no way he could lose in this spot. Outstanding stuff and if not for the historic main event, this would have headlined in a landslide. Watch this again and smile a lot.

Post match Woods and Big E. pull out the classic WWE Championship and hand it to Kofi for the first time (Kofi kneeling in the ring and waiting to have it presented to him is a great visual). The pyro goes off and Kofi’s sons get in the ring to celebrate with him and one of them holds up the title, which is almost bigger than he is. We’re not done yet though as Big E. brings in the present from earlier. It’s the first New Day shirt featuring Kofi as champion and his kids get to hold them up for a perfect visual. Woods: “THEY SAID WE COULDN’T MAKE IT! WE MADE IT TO THE TOP!” Outstanding.

Che and Jost are banged up so Bliss introduces them to Dr. Scott Hall and Dr. Kevin Nash. Ok then.

Booker T. is the next guest commentator.

US Title: Samoa Joe vs. Rey Mysterio

Mysterio is challenging and this year’s comic gear is…..well Mysterio appropriately enough. Now how did he never do that one before? Joe kicks him in the face but Rey is right back with the springboard hurricanrana. The 619 connects but Joe pulls him out of the air into the Koquina Clutch and Rey is out at 1:00, which may have something to do with Rey injuring his ankle on Monday. Booker being annoyed at wasting all the time on prep work is good for a chuckle.

Sneak peak of Batista’s new movie Stuber.

We recap Roman Reigns vs. Drew McIntyre. Reigns returned from leukemia after a four month absence and he needs a first victim. Drew has run through the rest of the Shield as a bonus. This is your likely layup result of the show and that’s fine.

Roman Reigns vs. Drew McIntyre

Drew gets played to the ring by the New York Bagpipe Band. They trade shots to the face to start so Reigns snaps off a Samoan drop for an early two. McIntyre is right back with a spinebuster into a jackknife cover for two of his own. The Glasgow Kiss knocks Reigns down again and McIntyre throws him into the corner for two. The chinlock/armbar goes on until Reigns powers out and knocks him to the floor. Reigns’ running kick to the face is blocked though and McIntyre suplexes him down.

Back in and the reverse Alabama slam gives McIntyre two so he takes Reigns up top. That earns him a crotching, only to have Drew pull himself up from the Tree of Woe to send Reigns flying with a belly to belly superplex. Reasons of general heelishness cause McIntyre to slap him in the face, meaning the comeback is on. McIntyre gets knocked outside again for the Samoan drop on the floor, followed by the Superman Punch back inside. The spear finishes McIntyre at 10:06.

Rating: D. The fans didn’t care and why should they have? As usual, it was clear that Reigns was going to win and that happens far too often at Wrestlemania. It’s amazing that Reigns got to come back here but it’s Reigns, who almost always wins, winning again in a match where the ending was obvious throughout. Nothing to see here, and the fans were silent throughout.

Post match Reigns gets to pose in a rather emotional moment.

Here’s Elias for his self described greatest performance ever. He’s on screen playing drums, with a second Elias joining him on piano and the real thing in the ring playing guitar. They jam for a bit and guitar Elias says the other two deserve a standing ovation. Elias teases more members of the band and gets in his catchphrase before loading up the song….but here’s a SPECIAL BULLETIN on Babe Ruth calling his shot in the 1932 World Series.

Cue John Cena in Dr. of Thuganomics gear and the fans seem rather pleased. Cena raps about how he’s about to turn heel and how bad his own movies are. WWE doesn’t stand for Walk With Elias because it really means Wasted Wrestling Experiment. We get a nuts joke, followed by the FU to leave Elias laying. They have history together so this was as good as you were going to get. This was funny for a change if nothing else and that’s a cool Wrestlemania feeling.

We recap Batista vs. HHH. Back at Smackdown 1000, Batista had mentioned that HHH never beat him but laughed it off. Then in February, Ric Flair was having a 70th birthday celebration but Batista attacked him, while asking HHH if he had his attention. This set up the match, with Batista demanding that HHH give him what he wanted (over and over and over). HHH has put up his career just in case the ending was in the slightest bit of doubt.

Shawn Michaels is guest commentator.

Batista vs. HHH

No holds barred with HHH’s career on the line. Batista goes out to glare at Shawn but here’s HHH, riding in a Mad Max style cart because of course he is. Batista drives him straight into the corner to start so HHH is back with some right hands to the face. A backdrop sends Batista outside but he throws HHH over the announcers’ table in a crash. HHH is right back up with a ram into the barricade and busts out a chain to whip Batista over the back.

The chain is pulled into Batista’s mouth (Shawn: “That’s not going to help his movie career.”) and HHH whips him into the steps. To ramp up the pain, HHH busts out some pliers to bend Batista’s fingers around a bit. HHH isn’t done with the toolbox so he grabs some needle nose pliers and ribs Batista’s nose ring out. To be fair, that thing looked horrible. Cole: “HHH just ripped a nose ring out of the nose of Batista.” So the nose ring in his ear is still intact.

Batista’s nose is good enough to drop HHH onto the announcers’ table and then he does it again onto a different one. A chair to the back sets up the shoulders in the corner for two as things have slowed way down. Batista slams him down for two more and let’s go outside again. The steps are set on the table and another table is cleared off as this is taking quite a long time for one big spot.

The huge Batista Bomb through the table is countered with a backdrop onto (not through) the other table and they’re both down again. HHH gets up, spinebusters him through the table, and we get another breather. HHH pulls out the sledgehammer but it’s a spear to cut him down for two. This time it’s HHH knocking the sledgehammer away from Batista, earning himself a spinebuster in the process. The Batista Bomb, which makes HHH drop the sledgehammer again, connects for two.

With nothing else working, Batista brings in the steps but goes up top for some reason. That reason would be so HHH can powerbomb him onto the steps, setting up a Pedigree for two (Because this MUST KEEP GOING!). They’re both down again so here’s Flair to slip HHH the sledgehammer. HHH gets up and uses the steps as a launchpad to hammer Batista in the head. Since that’s not enough to pin him (or KILL HIM as it probably should have), Batista pops up to take the Pedigree for the pin at 25:45.

Rating: D. Why does HHH do this? They could have had the same match with at least ten minutes chopped off but for some reason we needed to get HHH’s latest big epic match, no matter how much people aren’t interested in seeing it. This was terrible with Batista looking like a shell of his glory days (fair enough) and the match going WAY longer than it should have. Horrible match, and did you expect anything else given this style of match’s history?

The B Team model Daniel Bryan WWE Champion shirts but here’s Ron Simmons for the joke.

JBL is your next guest commentator.

Baron Corbin vs. Kurt Angle

This is Angle’s retirement match as he can barely get in the ring without injuring himself these days and needs to limp away for good. Corbin is here because we all did something horrible in a past life. Angle goes after him to start but gets knocked into the corner to put him in early trouble. Corbin takes it to the corner and pounds away before mocking Angle’s family a bit. A missed middle rope ax handle sends Corbin throat first into the rope so Angle snaps off some suplexes for two.

Angle walks into a big boot but is fine enough to grab a quickly broken ankle lock. Deep Six gives Corbin two more but he misses a charge, allowing the Angle Slam to connect for two. The straps come down and the ankle lock goes on until Corbin rolls him into the corner for the break. Corbin throws in a You Can’t See Me so Angle punches him into more rolling German suplexes. The moonsault misses though and the End of Days finishes Kurt’s career at 5:59.

Rating: D. Angle does seem fine with putting Corbin over on the way out but this was another step in the seemingly eternal nonsense that was/is the Corbin push. It’s a lot to take and while I can live with Angle going out on his back, it’s a lot to take because Corbin really is going way above his pay grade every time he’s in a match like this.

Post match Angle thanks the fans and asks for one more YOU SUCK chant for the road.

Intercontinental Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Finn Balor

Lashley, with Lio Rush, is defending and they’ve traded the title, so tonight it’s the Demon to make the match feel big. Balor gets a special entrance by coming down off a raised platform, though it’s not as creepy as his NXT entrances. Lashley has very bright green contacts in for some reason. Some early dropkicks put Lashley on the floor and Balor takes him out with a dive for a bonus.

A hard drive into the apron cuts Balor off though and there’s a suplex to make it worse. Lashley clotheslines him hard to the floor but a Sling Blade gets Balor out of trouble. Rush’s distraction lets Lashley hit a HARD spear through the ropes though and a regular one gets two back inside. Balor fights out of a powerbomb and hits one of his own, setting up the Coup de Grace for the pin and the title at 4:01.

Rating: C. The match was entertaining enough for something that was going so fast but at the same time, the booking still doesn’t make a ton of sense. Balor has already shown that he can beat Lashley so now he needs to bring up the powers to win? And the extraordinary thing was just a powerbomb? I’m glad to see the Demon again but this wasn’t exactly the most logical thing in the world.

Here’s Alexa Bliss to announce the attendance record of 82,265. Cue R-Truth and Carmella for the Wrestlemania Dance Break (Remember those?).

We recap the main event of Raw Women’s Champion Ronda Rousey and Smackdown Women’s Champion Charlotte defending against Becky Lynch in a winner take all match. Rousey is the unstoppable force, Charlotte is Charlotte and Becky is here because she’s the hottest name in wrestling at the moment and won the Royal Rumble. Tonight the winner leaves with both titles and it’s the biggest women’s match in history.

Raw Women’s Title/Smackdown Women’s Title: Ronda Rousey vs. Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch

Lynch is challenging both. In a nod to her father and the Four Horsemen, Charlotte lance in a helicopter outside and walks into the stadium. Already inside, Joan Jett and the Blackhearts play Rousey to the ring. There is something so cool about watching Becky walk down the ramp in a wide shot as Cole talks about how she has started a movement. I’m not sure if that is the right term but it looked awesome. The bell rings and even a year later I still can’t believe this happened. The women’s division was a joke just a few years ago and now it’s the biggest match of the year. That’s hard to believe and it’s very cool.

They stare at each other for a good bit to start until Becky goes after Rousey’s arm. Rousey kicks her to the floor without much trouble and that means a Samoan drop into the barricade. Charlotte follows and takes Piper’s Pit but pops right back up for a fall away slam to send Rousey into the barricade for a change. That sets up the required Charlotte vs. Becky fight with Becky getting the better of things but can’t get the Figure Four, allowing Rousey to come and hammer away.

Charlotte breaks up an armbar attempt but gets pulled into a triangle choke over the ropes. Becky hits a running dropkick though and Rousey falls HARD onto the floor in a nasty crash. That leaves Charlotte to knee Becky in the head as the fans get behind Becky in a big way. Charlotte’s moonsault hits knees and Becky gets the Disarm-Her but Rousey make the save in a hurry. A double Natural Selection gives Charlotte two each and it’s Becky going outside this time.

For some reason Charlotte tries to slug it out with Rousey, earning herself a knee to the head. Charlotte pulls her into a Boston crab, drawing Becky in for her own save. Becky and Charlotte slug it out again until Charlotte is sent to the apron. Charlotte gets caught up top with a super Bexploder for two but Rousey drops both of them with a high crossbody for a double near fall. The double armbar goes on so Becky and Charlotte powerbomb her for the break. It took three attempts but they finally got out.

Everyone is down for a bit until Becky hits a Rock Bottom for two on Charlotte. Rousey goes after Becky and gets pulled straight into the Disarm-Her so she uses the ropes to power up in the corner. That’s fine with Becky, who puts it on again in the corner until Charlotte boots her in the face. Charlotte’s super Spanish Fly gets two but she might have banged up her knee. Rousey’s knee is banged up as well so Charlotte stomps away and grabs the Figure Four around the post.

After sending Becky into the barricade, Charlotte grabs the Figure Eight but Becky dives in off the top for another save. Just because, let’s bring in a table but Charlotte decks Becky for taking too long to set it up. Rousey shoves Charlotte off the top and turns the table over because she doesn’t need it. A double spear takes down Becky and Rousey so Charlotte sets up the table in the corner.

Charlotte sends Rousey face first into the table and spears Becky for two more. Back up and Charlotte gets hiptossed through the table, leaving Becky and Rousey to have the slugout we’ve been waiting for. They throw some serious hands but Piper’s Pit is countered into a crucifix (with Rousey’s shoulder a good six inches off the mat in a bad botch) to give Becky both titles at 21:28.

Rating: B. I don’t know if it’s because I didn’t watch it in one sitting this time around but I liked the match a good bit better on a second viewing. These three beat each other up and while Becky winning was the presumed finish, it wasn’t entirely a lock given who she was in there against. It was a heck of a fight and the three of them all came out looking great. This is much more historic than good, but it’s really rather good and that’s always a positive way to go out.

Rousey is ticked as Becky celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The positives are better than the negatives but not by much. There are some flat out bad matches on here but they are overcome by some great feelings with the faces winning all of the big matches for a change. That felt like an old school style as for the first time in what felt like forever, they didn’t cut the fans off for the sake of dragging things out until later. For once it felt like a season finale and that’s what Wrestlemania should be when it gets the chance. Good show, but it could have been a lot better.

How you ask? CUT THE SHOW DOWN! Look at how long this show is and tell me that it’s well put together. There is no need for a sixteen match card, especially with some of the matches that feel tacked on. All three Tag Team Title matches feel like they’re here for the sake of being here and some of the matches just need to be shortened. Either that or find a way to get people to the ring faster. I know it seems simple but how much of these shows are spent on ring entrances alone? Just find a way to shorten things, please.

Overall there are more good things than bad, but this isn’t a show that you need to watch in one sitting. As soon as you get to the point where the show is five hours plus an episode of Smackdown before it starts (and a Smackdown with more wrestling than usual at that), you’re hitting a firm ceiling of how much you can enjoy this. I know you can’t cut out big chunks, but find a way to get this under six hours. Do that and it’s a lot better, but that has been the case for years now and it keeps getting longer. Either way, at least we had enough nice stuff on here, but don’t watch it all at once.

Ratings Comparison

Tony Nese vs. Buddy Murphy

Original: C+

Redo: C

Women’s Battle Royal

Original: D

Redo: D

Revival vs. Zack Ryder/Curt Hawkins

Original: C

Redo: D+

Men’s Battle Royal

Original: D

Redo: D+

Brock Lesnar vs. Seth Rollins

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

AJ Styles vs. Randy Orton

Original: B-

Redo: C-

Usos vs. Shinsuke Nakamura/Rusev vs. The Bar vs. Aleister Black/Ricochet

Original: C+

Redo: B

Shane McMahon vs. The Miz

Original: C-

Redo: D-

Boss N Hug Connection vs. Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. IIconics vs. Nia Jax/Tamina

Original: D

Redo: D

Kofi Kingston vs. Daniel Bryan

Original: A-

Redo: A

Samoa Joe vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Drew McIntyre vs. Roman Reigns

Original: C-

Redo: D

Batista vs. HHH

Original: D+

Redo: D

Baron Corbin vs. Kurt Angle

Original: F

Redo: D

Finn Balor vs. Bobby Lashley

Original: C

Redo: C

Ronda Rousey vs. Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte

Original: B

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: C+

About the same all around, but some of those earlier ones are a good bit off. Still though, too long, despite some of the very good parts.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/04/08/wrestlemania-xxxv-so-much-for-no-happy-endings/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




WrestleMania Count-Up – WrestleMania XXXIII (2018 Edition): Please Stop

Wrestlemania XXXIII
Date: April 2, 2017
Location: Camping World Stadium, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 75,245
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga, Tom Phillips

This hasn’t been quite a year yet but I have a feeling it’s going to be a very long night. Like a few years before, I was in the stadium for this show but haven’t seen it since I reviewed it last year. This is a show that was well received at the time and it could be interesting to see how it holds up a year later. Let’s get to it.

The set is one of the most intricate they’ve ever done, with a big Wrestlemania globe (ala Universal Studios) and a roller coaster next to it (I think you get this). There’s also an inflatable ring atop the structure above the regular ring, which I somehow didn’t notice until about an hour and a half of being in the stadium). The theme was the Ultimate Thrill Ride and the visual certainly works. It’s really cool looking and worked very well. Unfortunately the stadium isn’t the best looking in the world and it made the whole thing feel a bit out of place. Oh and the CRAZY LONG RAMP, which is something like seventy yards long.

Kickoff Show: Cruiserweight Title: Austin Aries vs. Neville

Aries is challenging after Neville has dominated the division for months and needs someone fresh to challenge him. The fans are behind Aries, which isn’t that surprising though Neville was nothing short (ok he was always short) of awesome at this point. Aries takes him down with an armbar but Neville is right back out with a headscissors. Back up and Neville has to bail to the floor so Aries has a rest on the top rope. I know it’s a Shawn Michaels spot but Aries sells the heck out of it.

Neville comes back in and eats a basement dropkick, followed by the middle rope elbow to the back for two. The suicide dive is blocked with a kick to the head though as the back and forth continues. A missile dropkick gives Neville two and we take a break. Back with Neville holding a chinlock (They even do it on the Kickoff Shows!) but taking WAY too long to glare at the crowd before trying a middle rope Phoenix splash (makes sense given his King thing).

One heck of a backdrop puts Neville on the floor and Aries is right back after him with the suicide dive. You can hear the fans getting back into this and that’s a good result from these two. The main reason to put something like this on is to get the fans fired up for the real show and it’s a great place to put them in.

They come back in with Aries blocking the superplex and nailing his own missile dropkick (looked awesome too) for a near fall. A snap German suplex plants Aries though and Neville takes over again. Another suplex gets another two and Neville is starting to look annoyed. With the technical stuff not working, Neville just kicks him in the face in the corner.

Aries is fine enough to reverse the Rings of Saturn attempt into a rollup and now the Discus knocks Neville hard to the floor. Back in and Aries hits a top hurricanrana and the 450 (with a really annoying crowd reaction shot) gets two. The Last Chancery goes on but Neville rips at the eye (which was recently reconstructed) to break the hold. Aries is writhing in pain and it’s the Red Arrow to retain the title at 15:40.

Rating: B. I remember hearing that this would be on the Kickoff Show and being very relieved as I didn’t think the main show would allow it nearly the amount of time that it needed and deserved. I’m glad to see that I was right here as they had a heck of a chess match here with both guys getting in everything they could and showing how back and forth the whole thing was. Neville cheating to win in the end fit him well, as he finally had someone who could match him and had to take a shortcut. Really good stuff here as Neville continues his unbelievable roll.

If the pay per view started here, it would have been a perfect Kickoff Show. But nah, we need two more matches.

Kickoff Show: Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Killian Dain, Sin Cara, Luke Harper, Kalisto, Sami Zayn, R-Truth, Chad Gable, Konnor, Braun Strowman, Curt Hawkins, Apollo Crews, Titus O’Neil, Curtis Axel, Goldust, Jimmy Uso, Jinder Mahal, Big Show, Simon Gotch, Aiden English, Tyler Breeze, Heath Slater, Epico, Bo Dallas, Fandango, Big Show, Rhyno, Primo, Viktor, Jason Jordan, Tian Bing, Jey Uso, Dolph Ziggler, Mark Henry

Rob Gronkowski, a friend of Mojo Rawley, is in the front row. Big Show’s music plays everyone but Braun Strowman to the ring. Braun tosses Primo two seconds into the match as the ring needs some serious cleaning out. Kalisto and Simon Gotch are tossed as well and Strowman eliminates Slater. Jimmy Uso and Goldust follow them out as they’re not wasting time here.

There goes Konnor but it’s time for the Show vs. Strowman showdown. Everyone stops to watch but Sami jumps Braun due to reasons of general stupidity. That goes nowhere so it’s Strowman dumping Show. Everyone goes after Strowman but he gets rid of Viktor in the process. Strowman is eliminated, making him look like a loser/afterthought in the process (oh….just wait). Hawkins is out and Ziggler gets to do his usual false hope spot. We get into the required “everyone hits everyone but doesn’t really try to win” portion as things slow down.

Ziggler low bridges Truth out as I manage to remember that Truth is employed. There goes Rhyno and Ziggler is thrown over the top, only to hang on again. There goes English, followed by American Alpha dropkicking English out. Jey Uso and Jason Jordan are tossed, followed by Chad Gable as the ring is really thinning out. Tian Bing gets rid of Fandango and Breeze, followed by Henry eliminating Sin Cara (in some sweet Wrestlemania gear). Henry is out next as there’s nothing between these eliminations.

Ziggler superkicks Bing out and that’s about it for Tian’s career accomplishments to date. Sami’s Helluva Kick gets rid of Epico and we’re down to nine. It’s been too long since Ziggler was nearly eliminated so Harper chokes him on the apron this time around. Mojo dumps Bo and Mahal eliminates Crews, followed by Rawley tossing Ziggler. Harper is out next and we’re down to Mojo, Jinder, Titus, Dain and Zayn.

A running clothesline gets rid of Titus but Dain eliminates Sami, completely sucking the life out of the crowd. Why you ask? Well we’re left with Dain, Rawley and Mahal. How excited would you be? Jinder gets clotheslined down and we get a Dain vs. Mojo showdown. A Pounce drops Dain but Jinder pulls Mojo through the ropes and out to the floor. Jinder follows him out and sends Rawley into the barricade, right in front of Gronkowski.

That means a drink going into Gronkowski’s face and here he comes over the barricade. This gives us the funniest part of the show as a security guard runs over to stop him, only to have a ringside guy tap her on the arm as some referees come over and allow Gronkowski to get in. Gronkowski runs Mahal over (your future WWE Champion everyone) and Mojo’s running right hands get rid of Dain. Another running punch to Mahal gives Rawley the win at 14:09.

Rating: D-. And this just LAUNCHED Mojo to the moon right? I know the idea here was to get Gronkowski involved (possibly as a substitute for Shaquille O’Neal) but Sami Zayn was RIGHT THERE to get the big win but nah, let’s go with the nothing guy winning the match. This wasn’t the best result for the battle royal but at least they were trying with Rawley, who took the time to talk to an entire group of fans when I saw him walking through Axxess that same weekend. Hopefully he gets somewhere in the future. The rest of the match was terrible with everyone being thrown out in short order and a bad ending.

Kickoff Show: Intercontinental Title: Baron Corbin vs. Dean Ambrose

Ambrose is defending and I have no idea why this was on the Kickoff Show. Corbin crushed Ambrose underneath a forklift to set this up, giving us the hilarious visual of the referees trying to LIFT IT UP despite the key being in the ignition. They waste no time in fighting to the floor with Dean getting the better of it and heading back inside.

That earns him a hard whip to send Ambrose’s ribs into the post and give Corbin a nice big target. Or 24 of them in this case. A choke shove puts Dean down for two and Baron whips him into the barricade for good measure. We hit the chinlock for a few moments before Dean avoids a charge to send Corbin shoulder first into the post. Corbin avoids the top rope elbow and blocks Dirty Deeds for good measure. That earns him a trip to the floor but Baron knocks him out of the air on a slingshot dive.

The top rope elbow puts Corbin down again though and Dean gets two off a swinging neckbreaker. These two aren’t exactly clicking so far. Deep Six gives Corbin two and works on the ribs a bit more. The Rebound Lariat runs Baron over again but he’s right back with a powerbomb to stay on the ribs. That’s about it for Corbin though as Dean jumps up and hits Dirty Deeds to retain at 10:44.

Rating: C-. I wasn’t feeling this one but the bigger issue was with the ending, as Baron winning the title would have made the most sense. Making it even worse was the fact that Baron won a street fight non-title rematch two days later but none of that matters as the Superstar Shakeup changed everything a week later. The match was nothing to see either as they didn’t go into the brawl that would have suited them best.

And now on the main show, which is FIVE HOURS AND TEN MINUTES LONG. Sweet goodness and they wonder why it’s hard to make new fans.

Tinashe, who looks like a low rent Beyonce (still very attractive though with a great voice) sings America the Beautiful. This includes the Air Force flyover, which will nearly knock you off your feet.

The opening video is about how everyone wants to come here, either as a fan or as a wrestler. This is the biggest show of the year and it is the ultimate thrill ride. The video turns into a roller coaster, starting with some historic moments and going into clips of wrestlers on tonight’s show. It’s continuing the theme and that’s a good thing when so many of these shows only have a loose theme at best. Ignore the fans cheering for Miz and AJ Styles and booing the heck out of Roman Reigns of course.

Here are your hosts for the evening: the New Day, in Final Fantasy inspired gear, with Kofi riding in on their bicycle powered ice cream cart. I still have one major question: HOW DID THEY NOT HAVE ICE CREAM FOR SALE??? They teased that for weeks and NOTHING. I was looking forward to it but for some reason it just never happened. After some dancing and gyrating, Xavier says there were a lot of options to host the show. Fans: “WOO!” It was your boys the NEW DAY who got the call though and they get to tell us about all the action that we’ll be seeing tonight.

It’s time to officially pulls their levers (making Kofi and Xavier cringe) and Big E. starts sending the smiling glances over to Woods as he freaks out. This was just after the sex tape fiasco, which was hinted at but never mentioned on WWE TV. In other words, this was a nice little inside joke for the fans while not giving away anything that would be un-PG. Well done and the way this needed to be handled. New Day’s level of rock is confirmed and that’s it, wrapping up this year’s installment of an unnecessary addition to the Wrestlemania card.

We recap AJ Styles babysitting Shane McMahon. AJ lost the Smackdown World Title to John Cena at the Royal Rumble and Daniel Bryan/Shane put him in the Elimination Chamber instead of giving him a one on one rematch for the title. That’s not cool with AJ, so he beat up Shane to set up this year’s “Shane can totally wrestle if you give him one of the best performers in the world” match. They’ve attacked each other a few times each since with Shane’s punches somehow getting a little worse since last year.

Shane McMahon vs. AJ Styles

Shane’s kids are at ringside because what would Wrestlemania be without them? AJ isn’t interested in throwing punches so a quick standing switch sends Shane into the ropes. A headlock and snapmare have Shane down as AJ is toying with him to start. Shane gets in some armdrags and takes Styles down for a rollup, giving us some frustration to send AJ outside.

Back in and AJ punches him in the face as it turns into a boxing match. You know you don’t have to ask Shane to do that twice so we let the suck fly, followed by an elbow to AJ’s face. One heck of a baseball slide sends Shane over the announcers’ table as control goes hard to Styles. Back in and a knee drop rocks Shane again but of course he can shake off the Phenomenal Blitz.

The Phenomenal Forearm is broken up and Shane starts his dance that was stupid back in the 90s so today it’s awesome (like everything in the Attitude Era). An Angle Slam gets two on AJ but he’s right back with the Calf Crusher. Shane reverses into a rear naked choke, a cross armbreaker and something like the Rings of Saturn. He trains MMA you see. AJ shrugs them off and drops Shane again but the springboard 450 is countered into a triangle choke. That’s reversed into a one armed Styles Clash, and of course Shane is up at two.

They slug it out and the fans are entirely behind AJ, even more than you might have expected them to be. I know he’s going to be the favorite coming in but this star treatment of Shane is making it even worse. The ref gets bumped (well duh) and it’s trashcan time. AJ loads up his own Coast to Coast but Shane throws the can at him (with AJ having to pull up on the dive, making it look horrible). Phillips: “AJ has stepped into Shane’s world now!” You mean high flying wrestling?

Shane’s Coast to Coast gets two and it’s time to load up the announcers’ table. The big elbow misses but of course Shane is fine enough to counter the Phenomenal Forearm into a Maiavia Hurricane. That’s not enough from Shane though as he gets to try the shooting star, which only hits mat. The Phenomenal Forearm connects to finally put Shane away at 20:31.

Rating: B. Well that was Shane, with some Shane on the side and then more Shane to wrap it up. AJ looked awesome but that’s all he supposed to be. This was all about Shane getting to counter and hang with AJ, which doesn’t do Styles any good. A 40+ year old who doesn’t wrestle shouldn’t be hanging with a guy who was World Champion less than three months ago. But hey, Shane, right?

James Ellsworth is having issues working out so Ric Flair comes in to give him a Snickers. Then Ellsworth becomes Charlotte. Uh, yeah.

We recap Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Owens. Their friendship had been having some issues of late so Jericho put together the Festival of Friendship, an over the top celebration of all things Owens and Jericho. At the end of it, Owens turns on Jericho and beat the heck out of him. Jericho came back and cost him the Universal Title at Fastlane so Owens is coming for Jericho’s Universal Title. The question became could Owens win without Jericho and now we get the chance to find out.

US Title: Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Owens

Owens is challenging. Jericho’s entrance brings back the countdown for a nice touch. Throw in the light up scarf and a big List of Jericho on the stage and this is advantage Chris. They slug it out to start with the Walls going on less than thirty seconds in. That sends Owens bailing to the floor and a top rope forearm to the head drops Owens back inside. Owens kicks him in the face and hammers away to take over.

We hit the chinlock, with some horribly obvious spot calling, followed by the backsplash for two. They head outside for the third time with Jericho backdropping his way out of the apron powerbomb. Jericho chops away and gets two off a super hurricanrana but gets clotheslined down. The frog splash misses, the Lionsault hits knees, and the Swanton hits knees as well to give us a slow down stretch.

Now the Lionsault connects for a delayed two but Owens gets in his own Walls of Jericho. A rope is grabbed so Owens tries the Cannonball, only to be reversed into the Walls. Kevin grabs the rope for the break and is right back with the Pop Up Powerbomb for two. Another Pop Up Powerbomb is countered into the Codebreaker but Owens touches the rope with one finger for the save. That’s a sweet heel touch. Owens rolls outside and superkicks the knee, setting up the apron powerbomb to give him the pin and the title at 16:46.

Rating: C+. Not bad but they never cranked up the violence that you would have expected after seeing the Festival of Friendship. These two should have been ready to destroy each other and instead it’s just a match with Owens working the ribs and looking for a powerbomb. They accomplished the goal of making Owens look like he can win on his own, but this isn’t the way they should have gone about it.

We recap the Raw Women’s Title match. Charlotte and Sasha Banks had raised the women’s division to entirely new levels and Charlotte needed a new challenger. Enter Bayley, who won the title on Raw in a big surprise, completely defeating the purpose of her character and leaving her with nothing to do. This problem would plague her for the next year and still does to this day. Nia Jax was added to the other three because you need to have as many people in Wrestlemania matches as possible.

Raw Women’s Title: Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax vs. Bayley

Bayley is defending under elimination rules. The tube men are at ringside for a special change of pace. Sasha rides in on the back of a chauffeured car because that’s what Sasha does. Charlotte gets a crazy amount of pyro, making her look even more like a star than usual. Everyone goes after Nia to start but she wrecks them in increasingly short order. A Banzai Drop crushes Bayley and Nia throws Charlotte off the apron onto both Bayley and Sasha. There’s something about people being thrown around like weapons.

All three get together to go after Nia with Sasha wisely grabbing the leg to keep her in place. Charlotte boots Nia in the face for a double German suplex for two in a painful looking crash. Nia is back up and tries a second Banzai, only to get TripleBombed out of the corner for the elimination at 4:08.

As usual, Nia chokes in the big match because that’s just how she rolls. Charlotte pulls Bayley to the floor and it’s Sasha hitting a flip dive to take the champ down. As you might expect, it’s the corkscrew moonsault from the top to take Bayley and Sasha down again in a huge crash.

Back in and Natural Selection is countered into a failed Bank Statement attempt. Instead Charlotte gets two off a backbreaker and rips off a turnbuckle pad in frustration. Sasha’s top rope double knees are good for two of her own and the Bank Statement goes on. Sasha goes with a rollup and the kickout sends her face first into the buckle for the elimination at 8:10.

Bayley comes back in and gets her knee rammed into the exposed buckle. The moonsault, with the wind blowing Charlotte’s hair around, only hits mat to give Bayley a near fall. Charlotte is fine enough to go after the knee and grab the Figure Eight. Bayley gets to the rope so Charlotte takes her into the Tree of Woe, only to get backdropped from the top in a big crash. The big elbow is enough to retain the title at 12:04.

Rating: D. Why can’t they get these big matches right? This was completely backwards with Nia being thrown in there at the last minute and lasting all of four minutes. Then it’s Bayley not really overcoming the odds and just pinning Charlotte after shrugging off some of the offense. It’s not some come from behind win or a big moment, but really just a match where Charlotte happened to lose.

Video on the Hall of Fame induction ceremony. Hearing Jim Cornette’s voice in WWE is just wrong.

Diamond Dallas Page. Nice reaction and WELL deserved just for his stuff with Hall and Roberts alone.

Rock N Roll Express. WAY overdue.

Rick Rude. See the Rock N Roll Express.

Teddy Long. I defy you to not smile at this.

Eric LeGrand. Warrior Award and that’s fine.

Beth Phoenix. Fine enough if a female entrant is required.

Kurt Angle. Yep. Moving on.

Support the Boys and Girls Club! Fair request actually.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Anderson and Gallows vs. Sheamus/Cesaro

No real story here as this is they’ve just been feuding and it’s time for a title match. Anderson and Gallows are defending and this is a ladder match because we have to have one. Enzo and Cass’ speech is short this time as they say they’re climbing every rung to win the titles. We’re ready to go….and here’s New Day. Yeah remember them?

Anyway they’re in wrestling gear here but first, an announcement. This is now a FATAL FOUR WAY with one more team to be added. That would be the HARDY BOYZ, making a shocking return and giving us a legitimate Wrestlemania moment. Before the music hit, I stood up and said “they wouldn’t”, which was aided as I couldn’t see that New Day was in ring gear. Amazing moment here and the twenty six million YouTube views suggest that it’s quite the popular idea. Cole says thinks are about to be BROKEN and Matt does the DELETE pose.

It’s a brawl to start (as it should be) and the Hardys waste no time with Poetry in Motion to Gallows. Enzo and Cass are taken down as well as the fans are entire enamored with the Hardys all over again. A Whisper in the Wind takes both Sheamus and Cesaro down and it’s time for the first ladder. Jeff goes up but it’s Gallows making a pretty easy save. Cesaro comes back in and climbs onto Gallows’ shoulders for a double stomp onto Anderson’s ribs. Well that worked.

This time it’s Enzo and Cass coming in, just to make sure that everyone gets their turn in you see. That goes nowhere so the Hardys bridge the ladders between the ring and the apron but Cesaro and Sheamus slam them together. With a little too much Sheamus on offense, Cass launches Enzo over the ladders like a cannonball to take him down.

Back in and Sheamus hits the ten forearms to Gallows while Cesaro Swings Anderson. Despite what Cole thinks, that’s not exactly working together. We hear about the Tag Team Titles not changing hands at Wrestlemania in SIXTEEN YEARS (that’s inexcusable) until Sheamus Brogue Kicks the heck out of Cass. Enzo shoves the ladder over to drop Gallows and Sheamus and goes up, sending Graves into hysterics over the horrible possibilities.

Sheamus and Gallows come back in for the save but don’t bother to knock him off the ladder. Instead it’s Anderson climbing the ladder and knocking Cesaro into the ladder. There’s a Magic Killer to Cesaro but Matt hits them both with a Twist of Fate, including a big one off of the ladder to Anderson. Jeff hits the required Swanton off the ladder to drive Cesaro through a bridged ladder, leaving Matt to pull the titles down at 11:05.

Rating: C+. There’s only so much you can get out of a ladder match like this with almost nothing to it other than the big Hardys return. That being said, they absolutely got the ending right as there was no other way to go here. Enzo and Cass weren’t going to work after something as special as the Hardys showing up so don’t even try. There wasn’t much to this in the way of high spots either, but this was ALL about Matt and Jeff, as it should have been.

Jimmy Fallon is here.

We recap the Miz/Maryse vs. John Cena/Nikki Bella, which is mostly about Nikki and Cena teaming together for the first time ever. The idea is that Cena won’t marry Nikki so Miz and Maryse are better, meaning we’re just waiting on Cena to pop the question here. In the show stealing moment of the year though, Miz and Maryse did some parody videos of Cena and Nikki and Total Divas/Bellas, giving us some of the funniest things WWE has ever done.

They nailed the ridiculous nature of the shows to perfection and made Miz look like the guy who should be ready to break through every ceiling above her. Oh and Maryse as Nikki Bella: sweet GOODNESS that worked on about a million levels. Finally though, a year later with Miz and Maryse now as parents, Cena’s jokes about Miz “firing blanks” are pretty much dead.

Jerry Lawler is on commentary.

Nikki Bella/John Cena vs. Maryse/The Miz

Al Roker is guest ring announcer for absolutely no reason whatsoever other than having a celebrity appearance. This is Maryse’s first match nearly six years and she doesn’t look like she’s lost a step. Cena and Nikki run down the ramp and we see a wide shot for a cool visual. Cena’s mom is in the front row and he seems shocked to see her, which would be a heck of a surprise.

The women start and there’s no contact for a minute so let’s bring in the guys instead. Miz poses on the ropes and then bails to the floor to start a chase. Back in and Miz finally stomps away as we finally make contact nearly two minutes in. Maryse gets in a poke to the eye so Miz can fire off a left hand. Cena and Nikki have had no offense so far. The fans are very pleased with Miz’s beating of Cena, mainly because they realize how awesome those Total Bellas parodies were.

Miz misses the running clothesline in the corner but Maryse breaks up the hot tag attempt by pulling Nikki off the apron. A DDT gives Miz two and he slowly does Daniel Bryan’s pose (How amazing is it that the match could ACTUALLY HAPPEN?). The YES Kicks keep Cena rocked but Miz makes the mistake of telling Nikki that she can’t see him.

A big slap puts Miz on the floor and a diving tag brings in Nikki. Some bad forearms to Maryse’s arms (Shane could do better than that) don’t do much damage so Nikki runs Miz over instead. Back in and Nikki’s big forearm sets up stereo Five Knuckle Shuffles. The AA and a Rack Attack 2.0 give us a double pin at 9:38.

Rating: D-. What in the world was that? Miz beat Cena up for about eight minutes and then it was hot tag Nikki to put the villains away Hogan style. After all the work and amazing promos, this is Miz’s Wrestlemania reward. I’m so glad this is what they went with instead of Cena vs. Undertaker, which was likely possible at this show. But hey, Total Divas and Total Bellas got a plot out of it.

Post match Cena says this is what Nikki wanted when she was rehabbing her neck. He tells a downright creepy story about Nikki being groggy before going inf or surgery. Apparently Cena asked if Nikki knew he would marry her one day. She said yes, and today is that day. Cena proposes and we get the big moment as she says yes. I’m SO glad this is what Cena, in the final few years that he has in WWE, is spending one of them doing this. It’s a sweet moment, but my goodness do this on Total Bellas where the fans want to see it.

We recap Seth Rollins vs. HHH, in another dumb story. So Rollins was HHH’s big ace in the hole a few years back and everything was all evil and great. Then Rollins tore his ACL and had to vacate the World Title, which HHH took as not being good enough to be the top guy. Let me repeat that: HHH said that leg issues were signs that someone wasn’t good enough to be the man in WWE. HHH then cost the returning Rollins the title to turn him face but now it’s time for revenge with a fired up Rollins wanting to burn the place down to destroy HHH.

Seth Rollins vs. HHH

Anything goes and, as usual, HHH gets the coolest entrance of the night with a big motorcycle and a police escort, plus Stephanie as a CRAZY HOT biker chick. Seriously, I know she can be irritating but she can rock the heck out of some leather pants. He gets the biggest entrance every year and it takes up a bunch of the spotlight but I can live with it if she’s in outfits like that.

Rollins’ entrance involves holding up a torch and touching it to the ground, sending digital flames down the ramp. I get the burn it down thing but it’s rather lame, along with coming after the really cool entrance. Well done again HHH, as he continues to be smarter than most wrestlers today.

They waste no time in slugging it out with Rollins getting the better of it (therefore I must remind you: HHH once won a slugout with modern day Brock Lesnar) to knock HHH outside. A dragon screw legwhip takes Rollins down by the knee that wasn’t hurt in the first place. Rollins shrugs it off and punches him away, followed by an enziguri back inside. The suicide dive sends HHH into the barricade and it’s already time for the announcers’ table. As usual, Rollins tries a Pedigree onto the table but gets countered with a DDT which doesn’t break the table.

HHH cranks up the violence with a chair to the knee before bridging Rollins’ knee between the ring and the table so he can drive his own knee into Rollins’. Back in and the slow knee work continues, because that’s how HHH loves to work on a show this big. Rollins tries the sunset bomb but hurts his knee all over again. It’s fine enough to hit the Buckle Bomb and a hard whip sends HHH over the corner to the floor. With HHH staggered, Rollins goes up top (Graves: “He’s screwed if he hits this or not.”) and scores with a high crossbody to the floor.

Since it’s an anything goes match, Rollins loads up a pair of chairs and a table on the floor instead of just bashing HHH with the chair. A frog splash to the back keeps HHH down but he kicks the knee out to cut Rollins off again. HHH takes forever to get up top though and gets a chair pelted at his head, setting up the superplex into the Falcon Arrow for two. You know, on the bad knee.

Stephanie breaks up the Phoenix Splash by pulling the knee onto the ropes and we hit a reverse Figure Four. That’s reversed into a Gargano Escape of all things but HHH goes smart by punching him in the knee. The reverse Figure Four goes on outside so Rollins reaches underneath the ring to find weapons. Naturally this includes the sledgehammer but HHH lets the hold go.

Back in and Rollins’ knee is fine enough for a low superkick to the face, followed by an enziguri to really hammer the point home. Stephanie takes the hammer away from Rollins though and a Pedigree gives HHH two. The fans barely even reacted to that one and I can’t say I blame them.

HHH channels his inner CM Punk and loads up a super Pedigree but gets backdropped down (already done by Bayley earlier). Now the Phoenix Splash gets two but neither can hit a Pedigree. Instead HHH hits him in the knee but walks into a superkick, which knocks Stephanie off the apron and through a table. That wakes the fans WAY up just in time for the Pedigree to give Rollins the pin at 25:25.

Rating: B-. This is an interesting one I was bored out of my mind watching it live but it flies by watching it back. That being said, the constant knee work got very dull, especially when it wasn’t even Rollins’ bad knee. As usual, the Stephanie bump got by far the strongest reaction of the night because it’s something you don’t see very often. It’s not a bad match at all but you EASILY could have chopped off ten minutes and no one would have missed a thing.

Pitbull performs the theme song and eats up way too much time.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Bray Wyatt for the Smackdown World Title. Orton joined the Wyatt Family after becoming tired of being beaten down by the team. Then he won the Royal Rumble and promised to never cash in the title shot on new champion Wyatt. It wound up being a ruse though and Orton used his newfound access to the Wyatt Family compound to destroy the whole place. Then Bray poured Sister Abigail’s ashes over himself and gained her powers as this story got REALLY stupid. There was also something about Luke Harper nearly becoming #1 contender that went nowhere but warrants a quick mention.

Smackdown World Title: Bray Wyatt vs. Randy Orton

Orton is challenging and has a viper go down the ramp, which he himself called stupid. We get the Big Match Intros and Orton takes him down with a Thesz press and some right hands. They head to the floor for more right hands but Bray goes caveman with a running headbutt back inside. And then the lights go out (which I thought was a blackout) until the mat is covered with a projection of maggots. We’re about two minutes into the match and this is already in the pantheon of dumbest ideas ever.

Bray runs him over again and this time it’s worms on the mat. The referee jumps out of the ring, possibly because he wants to go work for a sensible company like TNA. A Rock Bottom into a backsplash gives Bray two but Sister Abigail is countered into a rollup for two. I mean, it doesn’t matter as they’ve completely lost the fans after that stupid, STUPID idea but never let that stop WWE.

They head outside again with Bray diving off the apron and straight into a dropkick. Sister Abigail into the barricade drops Orton again but he’s back up with an RKO to knock Bray silly on the floor. That’s only good for two back inside and Sister Abigail is countered into the backbreaker. Orton’s hanging DDT looks to set up the RKO but this time Sister Abigail connects for two. But hang on because let’s hit those roaches to complete the trio of stupid! Orton is finally done with all this nonsense and hits the RKO for the pin and the title at 10:13.

Rating: F. You are the winter, fall and spring. You are the sun that summertime brings. You are the stars in the nighttime sky. You are my girl and I’m your guy. You got me all tied up in knots and I’m lovin’ you lots and lots. I’m just lovin’ you lots and lots. I’m lovin’ you lots and lots.

That doesn’t make sense? Neither does what we just saw. Moving on.

The pilots from the flyover are here. That’s kind of cool.

We recap the Universal Title match, which all started because of a video game. Goldberg came back at Survivor Series to face Brock Lesnar in a rematch of the nightmare that was Wrestlemania XX. In a shocker, Goldberg won in about a minute and a half. Then it was decided that Goldberg could win the title again. He went on to eliminate Brock from the Royal Rumble and then won the Universal Title in about thirty seconds at Fastlane. Lesnar needed to defeat Goldberg once and for all so we’re having the match for the title tonight. This is all narrated by Paul Heyman, who talks about fantasies coming to an end in a nice touch.

Here’s the thing: you could do this same story without the title. Have Lesnar put up his career to get one more shot at Goldberg (it’s not like there was any doubt on the winner here anyway) so let us have the original plan: Owens dropping the title to Jericho (who never won the World Title as a face) and then Lesnar winning it the next month. Nah. We need GOLDBERG winning the title in a nostalgia moment for whatever reason.

Universal Title: Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

Goldberg is defending and gets the long walk to the ring which might as well be the long walk to the gallows. Lesnar wastes no time and hits three German suplexes in nineteen seconds. In a great visual, the camera is on Lesnar when Goldberg cuts him down with a spear. A second spear sends Lesnar bailing and the third spear takes Lesnar through the barricade. That’s the first MINUTE of this match as they’re certainly starting fast.

Back in and both finishers are escaped, setting up another spear to Lesnar. The Jackhammer gets two, making Lesnar the second person to ever kick out (the other being Hogan, who only did it because of a missed cue). That means another spear (Heyman: “HE’S IN POSITION AGAIN!”) but this time Lesnar leapfrogs him and Goldberg hits the buckles. More suplexes (make it ten total) set up the F5 to officially conquer Goldberg at 4:47.

Rating: B. This was PERFECT for what they had to work with. Goldberg wasn’t going to be out there for a long match (he didn’t in his prime either) and they went with the right path. This was as action packed of a nearly five minute match as all you could have done. That first spear looked awesome and Goldberg gets to go out on his big moment. I’m pleased, though not as much as Goldberg, who probably made a ton of money for less than ten minutes combined of wrestling time in his comeback.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Alexa Bliss vs. Naomi vs. Becky Lynch vs. Carmella vs. Mickie James vs. Natalya

Alexa is defending and this is the most thrown together match that I can remember in a good while. They’re also rushing through the entrances due to the time issues. You know, because NOW they care about time issues. Naomi is the hometown girl and MY GOODNESS the Glow entrance is a sight to behold in a stadium. There are no tags of course so it’s a big brawl to start.

Naomi gets sent to the floor for a double suplex from Natalya and Carmella. Back in and Becky kicks the two of them down but James Ellsworth (Remember that?) grabs Becky’s foot to take over. Bliss breaks up a cover and screams at Carmella to get out of her ring. The DDT gets two on Natalya but Becky breaks it up this time, only to have Ellsworth come in. No Chin Music is countered into a Bexploder and it’s Naomi coming back in this time.

Naomi slingshots in to sunset flip Natalya, who German suplexes Becky at the same time. Speaking of the same time, Natalya tries a double Sharpshooter on Carmella and Naomi but can’t get the legs up. Well, not surprising, but it’s so bad that the camera cuts to her back. Naomi comes back in for a Rear View to Bliss and a big dive to take everyone out. Back in and Naomi’s reverse Rings of Saturn makes Bliss tap for the title at 5:33.

Rating: D. The timing issues KILLED this and there’s no way around it. Much like the ladder match earlier, there’s nothing you can do when you have five minutes and six people in a match. Naomi winning the title back is cool, but I still have no idea why her winning it back in her hometown is supposed to be some huge deal. Yeah it’s cool, but it’s not like this is some great moment.

Wrestlemania XXXIV is in New Orleans. Those songs will drive you crazy by the end of the weekend.

New Day comes out to thank the fans for the record attendance of 75,245. The team is still funny but egads they could have been cut out of this whole thing and not been missed.

We recap Roman Reigns vs. Undertaker. Reigns eliminated him from the Rumble and now we have a match to determine who is the real Big Dog.

Jim Ross is out to do commentary for the main event. That’s even more impressive when you consider his wife died days before this show.

Undertaker vs. Roman Reigns

No holds barred, first announced before the entrances. Reigns is booed out of the stadium, as has become a custom. In a smart move, Undertaker rises from the middle of the ramp (with a cool visual of smoke building up and clearing to reveal him standing there). I completely missed this as I was looking at the stage and then glanced down to the ring and saw him climbing the steps.

Undertaker slugs away in the corner to start and knocks Reigns to the floor. Back in and Reigns knocks him over the top as well, with Undertaker landing on his feet. Reigns hammers him down to take over and they head outside so this can be more of a brawl, which is the only way to go. The apron dropkick (to a standing Undertaker) puts Undertaker down again but he wins a slugout back inside. Reigns hits him in the face and Undertaker just looks mad.

Snake Eyes and the big boot set up the legdrop for two. The threat of a chokeslam sends Reigns outside again and this time the apron dropkick is punched out of the air. Another dropkick staggers Undertaker but it’s a chokeslam onto the announcers’ table. They climb onto the other tables and it’s a spear to drive Undertaker through (almost in a running spinebuster) for the double knockout.

Reigns is the only one back in….and Undertaker sits up. Back in and Reigns does the corner clotheslines into the corner right hands, meaning the Last Ride (an AWFUL one at that with little impact and more Undertaker dropping Reigns than slamming him down). It’s chair time but Undertaker takes it away and beats him down instead. A quick Superman Punch knocks Undertaker into the ropes but another is countered into a chokeslam onto the chair.

The Tombstone gets two and the fans, who are supposed to be smart at Wrestlemania, seem shocked at the kickout. Off the first Tombstone. In a Wrestlemania match. Who’s the smart one here? Another Tombstone is loaded up but this time Reigns backflips….and just can’t lift Undertaker for the counter. They try a few more times but just stop for the sake of embarrassment with Reigns trying a Superman Punch instead.

The spear connects but Undertaker is fine enough to put on Hell’s Gate. The rope is reached for a break (erg) and Reigns unloads with the chair. Another spear gets another two and another spear gets another two and another Superman Punch (Undertaker sits up and falls over) sets up another spear to give Undertaker his second Wrestlemania loss at 22:57. That last sequence took nearly five minutes.

Rating: D+. It’s not terrible, but Undertaker looked like an old man who should have hung it up a few years ago. The problem here was the crowd being completely dead and it showed really badly. There’s only so much energy you can have in an academic match at the end of a seven hour show. Reigns winning makes complete sense but it was a bad match (the botches and CRAZY amount of time spent standing around didn’t do it any favors) and there’s no way around that.

Reigns gets the big pyro display behind him as he stands on the ramp (great shot) but we’re not done yet. Undertaker slowly sits up and we go to a bunch of replays. Back to live and it’s Undertaker standing in the ring with the hat and coat on. I use that term loosely as it looks like Mark Callaway standing there dressed as Undertaker. For the first time, it seems like we’re seeing the real person instead of the character, which is a MAJOR change for him.

He looks around to the crowd, takes off his gloves, coat and hat and folds them up in the ring. With the fans applauding, he goes outside, kisses Michelle McCool, and walks up the ramp. Undertaker stops, looks back one more time, raises the fist, and lowers down through the ramp, fist still in the air, to end the show with the gong sounding one more time. There was no commentary for the last ten minutes, without even a goodbye (appropriate here).

That’s about as perfect of a sendoff as WWE has ever done. It was emotional, it felt special, and it came off like the real thing. Undertaker is the last vestige of that older generation and him breaking character for the first time ever and leaving is incredible to see. It’s why I don’t want to see him wrestle again and why it makes me sad to think that he will. Incredible stuff, and Thank You Taker.

Overall Rating: C+. There’s no way around it: this show is way way way way way way way WAY too long. I got through an hour of the show a few days back (you know I’m not watching this in one sitting) and looked down at the bar in near horror of how little space I had covered. Five hours, plus TWO HOURS of a Kickoff Show is just too much, especially when there’s stuff to be cut. What could be cut? Well off the top of my head:

AJ vs. Shane (move AJ to ANYTHING else and drop Shane) entirely or at least cut it down by about eight minutes

Corbin vs. Ambrose (I know it’s the Intercontinental Title but on a show this huge, it’s understandable)

Smackdown Women’s Title (it’s just nothing and felt like total filler)

Five to ten minutes each off of Reigns vs. Undertaker and HHH vs. Rollins (those combine for nearly fifty minutes total)

Pitbull

AT LEAST get this down to four and a half hours of main show. That can’t be too much to ask, right?

Other than the timing issues though, the show is mostly solid. There’s a ton of good stuff up until the mixed tag and then things start to fall apart. The Universal Title match was as perfect as it was going to be get but there’s just so much bad around it (Bray vs. Orton, Reigns vs. Undertaker, HHH vs. Rollins in that match that is still going on somewhere, with HHH still working the knee) that the good is dragged down.

At the end of the day, it all comes back to the timing issues as there’s almost no way to make a show this long work. It’s too much to sit through and it becomes a chore at the end. Just cut this down by a good hour (or two) and things are much better, but bigger is better for WWE and that’s not changing anytime soon. As it is, the show works more than it misses but it’s still not a classic by any means.

Ratings Comparison

Neville vs. Austin Aries

Original: A-

2018 Redo: B

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Original: D

2018 Redo: D-

Dean Ambrose vs. Baron Corbin

Original: C+

2018 Redo: C-

Shane McMahon vs. AJ Styles

Original: B

2018 Redo: B

Kevin Owens vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

2018 Redo: C+

Sasha Banks vs. Bayley vs. Charlotte vs. Nia Jax

Original: C-

2018 Redo: D

Hardy Boyz vs. Anderson and Gallows vs. Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Sheamus/Cesaro

Original: B

2018 Redo: C+

John Cena/Nikki Bella vs. The Miz/Maryse

Original: D

2018 Redo: D-

HHH vs. Seth Rollins

Original: C+

2018 Redo: B-

Bray Wyatt vs. Randy Orton

Original: F

2018 Redo: F

Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg

Original: B

2018 Redo: B

Naomi vs. Alexa Bliss vs. Becky Lynch vs. Carmella vs. Mickie James vs. Natalya

Original: D-

2018 Redo: D

Undertaker vs. Roman Reigns

Original: D+

2018 Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: B

2018 Redo: C+

Yeah I overrated a lot of this the first time around. It’s good, but not that good.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/04/07/wrestlemania-xxxiii-a-long-wait-for-a-long-show-with-a-long-ramp/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




WrestleMania Count-Up – WrestleMania XXXII (2017 Edition): Hitting One Heck of a Wall

Wrestlemania XXXII
Date: April 3, 2016
Location: AT&T Stadium, Arlington, Texas
Attendance: 101,763
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

We had to get here again at some point. I sat in the stadium last year for the better part of seven hours watching this show and was pretty entertained for the most part. However, since then I’ve thought back on it a few times and it seems to go all downhill from there. I’m not sure what to expect from this one other than it’s going to take a few days to get through. Let’s get to it.

As we get ready for the pre-show matches, the place might be 10% full at this point as there was some confusion in opening the gates. There were no lines and it was just a sea of humanity trying to get inside.

Pre-Show: Ryback vs. Kalisto

Kalisto, in some ceremonial bird headpiece, is defending and this is your standard bully vs. smaller guy feud. It’s such a weird visual to see people coming to the ring with so few fans in the seats. I’m not sure if it’s going to make a difference but I expect a three part podcast from Ryback about how unfair it was to his career. We get the big staredown to show the match’s story and to show off Ryback’s new trunks.

Ryback plants him off a headlock and easily throws the champ outside. Kalisto gets in a quick bulldog for two but the kickout sends him outside. Some double knees to the chest get the same result and Ryback gets to show off by gorilla pressing Kalisto up the steps and back inside. We take a break and come back with Kalisto taking a hard elbow to the jaw for two.

A running sitout powerslam (kind of like a Michinoku Driver) gets the same and it’s time to slap at the mask. I know Ryback had some issues but he did seem to be trying to mix things up on offense. He deserves credit for trying at least and it’s true that he had some unfair breaks. I just can’t imagine it was as bad as he made it seem.

A delayed superplex is countered into a crossbody for two and the Shell Shock is countered into a quick DDT. The corkscrew crossbody gets two but Ryback plants him again. Kalisto goes to the corner and pulls a turnbuckle pad off. I’m sure you can piece the next step together but in case you’re a bit slow, Ryback goes head first into the buckle and the Salida Del Sol retains the title at 8:57.

Rating: C. Despite the surprise when the title didn’t change hands, this was a snappy little match with the power vs. speed working quite well. Kalisto is the kind of guy who can perform well against anyone and Ryback’s power was a perfect foil. Ryback is still one of the more interesting what if’s in recent years but it’s pretty clear that the guy isn’t all there sometimes, which can make for some messy negotiations.

Team Total Divas vs. Team B.A.D. and Blonde

Total Divas: Natalya, Brie Bella, Paige, Alicia Fox, Eva Marie

B.A.D. and Blonde: Naomi, Lana, Summer Rae, Tamina, Emma

Yes this story is still happening for reasons I’m sure you can figure out for yourself. If nothing else, Wrestlemania is an excuse to see Brie’s legs, which you don’t get for the rest of the year. This is Lana’s only main roster match to date and uh…..yeah this works. Fox elbows the heck out of Summer to start and a sloppy tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two. We get the big ten Diva staredown and it’s off to a break because the pre-show is basically Raw.

Back from a break with Eva getting booed out of the stadium and suplexing Emma. A hard tag brings in Natalya and it’s off to Naomi for the dancing kicks. Paige comes in to play Bret to Natalya’s Neidhart (that must have made her smile) on a Hart Attack. It’s back to Emma for a wheelbarrow suplex on Paige before Lana is brought in to the pop of the match so far. Some good looking kicks drop Paige and we hear some trash talk with nothing resembling an accent.

Brie tries to come in so Lana mocks the YES chant in a nice touch. Tamina grabs a chinlock as the rapid tags continue (that’s all you can expect in something like this). A Tower of Doom is teased but instead Paige dives onto a bunch of the women at ringside. Back in and Emma stomps on Paige in the corner but a rollup sends Emma’s head into the buckle.

The hot tag brings in Brie to clean house and it’s time for the parade of secondary finishers. Naomi: “FEEL MY GLOW!!!” By that she means barely get grazed by a split legged moonsault and have Lana shoves Brie off the top. Not that it matters as Brie gets a good looking roll into the YES Lock to make Naomi tap at 11:26.

Rating: D+. Yeah the match was a mess but there’s only so much you can put on the wrestling here. With so many people and so many of them being there as eye candy, there’s only so much they can do. This is the last night for the old Divas style with people being able to use the most basic moves but mainly being there for the sake of their looks. There are FAR worse versions of this match though and this was actually fine for the circumstances.

Post match Nikki Bella comes out in her neck brace in what is supposed to be some big moment.

Usos vs. Dudley Boyz

The Dudleys are heels and refusing to use tables. It’s a brawl to start with the non-brothers cleaning house as the crowd is really filling in now. D-Von cranks on Jimmy’s neck and it’s off to Bubba for some trash talk about Rikishi. The snap punches take too long though and Jimmy gets in a superkick, setting up the hot tag to Jey. Everything breaks down and Jey takes What’s Up. Bubba calls for the tables but again takes too long, earning a double superkick. 3D is broken up as well and Jey superkicks D-Von for the pin at 5:20.

Rating: D+. Another nothing match here as we’re just getting ready for the big show and getting this stuff out of the way. You easily could have cut this match off and no one was going to notice it, especially with so little time. The Dudleys were fine at putting people over but did the Usos really need a win like this? Nothing to see here and it really could have been cut as a way to take some of the time off the main show.

Post match the Dudleyz load up some tables but get splashed through them instead. Cool visual if nothing else.

Fifth Harmony sings a very nice rendition of America the Beautiful.

The opening video focuses on the history of Wrestlemania and how it’s never been bigger than this. Various legends and legendary moments are shown, as they certainly should be. This transitions into a preview of tonight’s show, including the matches and of course a focus on the Rock’s unspecified role. Nothing out of the ordinary here but as is usually the case with these things, WWE really knows how to make these things look great. Also of note: Kelsey Grammer of all people narrates this.

I’m not a fan of his but Flo Rida’s My House is one of the catchiest theme songs they’ve had in years.

Inter-continental Title: Kevin Owens vs. The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Zack Ryder vs. Stardust vs. Sin Cara vs. Sami Zayn

Owens is defending and this is a ladder match. Originally there were just four people involved but the match fell through with Stephanie making a triple threat for the title shot. That match went to a no contest so LET’S JUST THROW EVERYONE INTO THE MESS OF A MATCH. And people wonder why this title isn’t treated as anything important anymore. Sami gets a very nice pop here but Owens’ blows it away, making him the big crowd favorite.

On the other hand, Stardust (in Dusty polka dots) and Sin Cara come out to near silence, which isn’t exactly the biggest surprise. Finally, Ryder gets to hear his music played at Wrestlemania for the first time ever, which really is a cool moment. Ryder: “I’VE BEEN WAITING MY WHOLE LIFE FOR THIS!!!”

Everyone drops to the floor to start and it’s Owens left alone in the ring. As you might expect, Sami comes in with a ladder and it’s time for the Wrestlemania slugout that you know means the world to them. Kevin gets the better of it and cleans house with the ladder until Cara gets in a ladder shot of his own to take over. Ryder neckbreakers Stardust onto the ladder and Miz throws a different ladder over the top and onto Cara.

Sami and Ziggler knock Miz’s ladder over and there’s the Blue Thunder Bomb, which thankfully doesn’t have to go through the motions of a near fall. Back in and Owens backdrops Sami onto a ladder. Kevin: “THIS IS KO MANIA! GO BACK TO NXT!” Ziggler and Ryder go up but Stardust makes a save to put both guys down again. Cara does the same to Stardust and it’s Sami vs. Miz in the ring.

That doesn’t last long either as Sami dives through a ladder to take out four people at once, followed by the diving tornado DDT on Owens. Cara gets shoved off the ladder but lands on the top rope into a springboard onto another pile of people. Ziggler starts the superkick party so JBL can talk about Shawn Michaels.

Owens comes back in and it’s a double superkick to put everyone down. Stardust pulls out the polka dotted ladder (The Exo Atmospheric Starbird Mark II. I’d call it Larry.) and spins it around his head, only to get caught in a Skull Crushing Finale onto said ladder. Now it’s Sami back in but charging into Kevin’s boot in the corner. A frog splash onto Sami onto a ladder bridged onto the bottom rope crushes everyone (JBL: “That’s the biggest frog I’ve ever seen.”).

Ryder doesn’t quite one up him with the Elbro off another ladder to crush Miz but it still looked cool. I’m not sure why there weren’t more flashbulbs going off either as it was quite the highspot. Ziggler faceplants Ryder off the ladder and comes up favoring his knee. The delay lets Owens powerbomb Ziggler off the ladder and Cara kicks Stardust onto a ladder bridged between the apron and the barricade.

Cara hits the big dive to put Stardust through the ladder, leaving Owens and Zayn to slug it out above the ring. Sami gets the better of it and hits the half and half suplex to drop Owens head first into a ladder (sick looking landing). That lets Sami go up until Miz shoves him over but this time Miz takes too long going up, earning himself a big shove off from Ryder, who climbs the ladder for the huge upset at 15:24.

Rating: B. It’s a fun match and the spots were great but…..RYDER??? I mean…..HE’S ZACK RYDER! As is so often the case, there were too many people in here with guys like Cara and Stardust just being there to add more bodies to the thing. Cut this down to four people (five max) and it’s WAY better but that might mean the title is treated a bit more seriously and we can’t have that. I still think this was supposed to be Neville’s spot until he broke his ankle but it doesn’t really matter.

Ryder’s dad comes in to celebrate with him for a really cool moment.

We recap AJ Styles vs. Chris Jericho. They traded some wins and then formed a short lived team (Y2AJ) but Jericho turned on him when they lost. Jericho was jealous over the AJ STYLES chants and wanted the respect for himself. It’s actually a solid feud and one of the matches people wanted to see, though I could have gone with not having the same match three times before.

AJ Styles vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho drives him into the corner to start and the AJ STYLES chants are already going nice and strong. Styles gets in a hurricanrana and a snappy armdrag before sending Jericho outside. That should mean a slingshot dive but Jericho dropkicks him out of the air to take over. Back in and a neckbreaker sets up a dragon sleeper for a change of pace.

AJ tries to fight back but gets pulled down into the Walls for some good old fashioned ASK HIM/AHHHH exchanges. A rope is grabbed so AJ can hit the moonsault into a reverse DDT for two. Both guys head to the corner for a super sitout gordbuster and one heck of a crash. The Pele is countered into a Walls attempt but AJ reverses that into the Calf Crusher.

The Styles Clash is broken up and a Codebreaker gets a delayed two (with Cole making sure to say the near fall was due to the delay in a nice touch). For a change of pace, Jericho loads up AJ for the Styles Clash but gets planted face first for two instead. A rollup exchange sets up the real Styles Clash for two and the springboard 450 gets the same. With nothing else left, AJ heads to the apron and loads up the Phenomenal Forearm, only to have Jericho shove the referee away and catch Styles with the Codebreaker for the pin at 17:08.

Rating: B. Another long match here with an interesting choice for the ending. I know Jericho went on to have one of the best years of his career but at this point he’s just Jericho and Styles hasn’t even been in the company for three months yet. This continues to feel like booking for the sake of the surprise, which is almost never a good thing. Still though, would you expect anything other than very good from these two for seventeen minutes?

Maria Menunos interviews Zack Ryder and talks about getting to take a picture with Razor Ramon and his Intercontinental Title when he was a kid. Tonight though, he and Ramon are taking a picture with RYDER’S Intercontinental Title. I’m not sure if that’s a better line than waiting your whole life for this but Ryder is nailing it tonight.

New Day vs. League of Nations

New Day comes out in a huge box of BootyO’s which tips over….to reveal them in Dragon Ball Z costumes, complete with a tail on Woods. This was originally a Tag Team Title match but was changed to a handicap match before switching to a six man (Sheamus/Alberto Del Rio/Rusev for the League with King Barrett in the corner) for no apparent reason. I mean, other than having New Day lose or something crazy like that. Also, make no mistake about it: New Day was by FAR the most popular merchandise choice of the weekend. You would see that blue shirt all over Dallas and nothing was anywhere near as common.

Kofi and Sheamus start things off as we hear about New Day holding the titles for over 200 days. Somehow they’re not even at the halfway point. Sheamus gets taken down into the corner for the Unicorn Stampede and Woods starts in with some tromboning. Xavier comes in and gets beaten down as JBL has the nerve to compare these two to the Freebirds and the Horsemen.

Sheamus gets in the forearms to the beat of NEW DAY SUCKS and it’s off to Rusev for a running flip senton. Woods sends Del Rio to the floor in a big crash but Sheamus is over there to takes New Day off the apron in a smart move. Not that it matters as Kofi gets the hot tag a few seconds later and house is cleaned again. Trouble in Paradise is broken up and Rusev adds a kick to the head of his own for two.

The fans try to get an UP UP DOWN DOWN chant going and Big E. tags himself in for some suplexes. The spear through the ropes takes out Sheamus, Rusev and Barrett but it does the same to Big E., who thankfully didn’t break his neck. Back in and Woods drops a top rope double stomp for two on Sheamus. Del Rio makes a save and hits a scary double stomp off the apron to crush Kofi. That leaves Woods alone to take the Bull Hammer from Barrett to give Sheamus the pin at 10:02.

Rating: D+. Ok they’re trolling us now right? The League of Nations is one of the most worthless stables in a LONG time and they’re beating one of the most over groups in recent memory? I know it’s designed to set up the post match shenanigans but there are multiple ways to do the same thing without beating New Day. It’s even worse when you consider the group was split less than a month later.

Post match Barrett says there are no three men who can beat them. Cue Shawn Michaels (nearly causing the wife to jump out of the upper deck), Mick Foley and Steve Austin (he’s a bit too big of a star for this group) for the beatdown. The moment is cool but Cole talking about how great of a moment this is feels so stupidly forced. Anyway, house is quickly cleaned (and apparently Austin further injures his already destroyed shoulder in the process). New Day gets back in and dancing ensues with Shawn and Steve getting into it…..until it’s a Stunner for Woods. Beer is quickly consumed.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Dean Ambrose. Lesnar is the Beast and needs someone to fight him so Dean was like “eh I’ll do it.” This led to one heck of a beatdown so Ambrose was given some weapons by various hardcore legends (barbed wire bat from Foley and a chainsaw from Terry Funk) because this is a no holds barred street fight.

Dean Ambrose vs. Brock Lesnar

Anything goes and Heyman gives Brock a big, over the top intro. JBL gives us a good example of trying to be too smart by calling Lesnar a former NWA Champion (assuming he means NCAA), which of course he never won. Brock hits the first suplex inside of ten seconds and the huge video screen above the ring kept count (It had been all over the place all night with unicorns for the New Day and various three camera shot replays. In other words, it was annoying in a hurry.).

We hit the third German suplex forty five seconds in and Ambrose is on the floor. A few kendo stick shots annoy Lesnar so he rolls two more suplexes. Brock breaks the stick over his knee and there’s number six. Ambrose can barely move so he gives the referee a thumbs up and there are numbers seven and eight before we’re even five minutes into the match. Dean slaps him in the face….and gets suplexed again.

With nothing else to do, Lesnar offers Dean a free shot with the stick, which Brock then stands on. That earns him a low blow (Ambrose: “THAT’S HILARIOUS!”) and now the stick shots work a bit better. Dean goes outside and finds a chainsaw (Heyman’s eyes bug out) but that means a tenth suplex. A laptop off Lesnar’s face allows Dean to chair him a few times, only to have Brock run the ropes for a belly to belly superplex. Dean’s next trick is a fire extinguisher blast to the face followed by some lame chair shots to the ribs.

A dropkick to send the chair into Lesnar’s face works a bit better and the top rope chair drop gets two. For some reason Dean throws in about ten chairs, which he then goes sailing over off another German suplex. The F5 is countered into a DDT onto (or close to) a chair for two. Now it’s time for the barbed wire baseball bat but it’s another German suplex onto the chairs. An F5 onto them is enough to put Dean away at 12:50.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t as bad as I remember it but they made it very clear that Ambrose wasn’t on Lesnar’s level or really close to it for that matter. There’s only so much you can do when Lesnar is out there doing nothing but suplexes (other than those and an F5, I actually can’t think of anything else he did in the match) and Dean ran into that problem here. This could have been a lot worse but a little more offense from Ambrose would have been appreciated.

Ric Flair teaches Ryder how to Woo but it turns out to be a Snickers commercial. Ryder takes a bite….and turns into Charlotte. Yeah I don’t get it either but I think Charlotte is the new Intercontinental Champion.

Hall of Fame time with a pretty good class:

Godfather (So completely out of place here.)

Stan Hansen (How was he not in already?)

Big Boss Man (That’s perfectly fine.)
Jacqueline (Fine, just don’t let her talk.)

Joan Lunden (Warrior Award, which seems to have been forgotten this year.)

Fabulous Freebirds (You could argue they were the headliners.)

Snoop Dogg (Harmless. Not exactly PG but harmless.)

Sting (Only entrance and the loudest reaction.)

We go back to the Kickoff Show with Lita unveiling the new WOMEN’S Title (meaning the Divas era is finally over). Oh and remember that this is completely different than the original Women’s Title, meaning it actually has its own lineage.

We recap the Women’s Title match with a really cool WWE Network themed video. It’s a search for Women’s Champions which shows some famous names before a Women’s Revolution search brings up the three of them (with Stephanie’s screeching narration of course). This gets the music video treatment, which it actually deserves.

Women’s Title: Sasha Banks vs. Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte

The title is officially vacant coming in though Charlotte never lost the Divas Title. Banks has Snoop Dogg (her real life cousin) rap her to the ring, which should guarantee her winning the title here. She also has Eddie Guerrero inspired gear and actually looks better in the tights than the trunks. Charlotte (still wearing the Divas Title) has Ric Flair in her corner and debuts the blue gear, with the robe being made from the robe Flair wore in his final match. That’s a very good thing as she rocks the heck out of that outfit. Lita is holding the new title and after the Big Match Intros we’re ready to go.

Everyone trades rollups to start in a fast and pretty athletic sequence until Charlotte kicks Becky in the face. That earns a nice round of applause and you can tell the women are ready tonight. A hurricanrana sends Charlotte across the ring and Sasha throws in an Eddie dance. They botch (not bad) a sunset flip/German suplex spot before Charlotte it sent outside, leaving Sasha to elbow Becky in the face.

Charlotte pulls Sasha outside though and gives her something like a wheelbarrow suplex onto the apron. Back in and Becky (with a lot of eye makeup) grabs an arm trap reverse DDT for two on Charlotte and we hit the cross armbreaker. Flair gets on the apron like a good pop though and it’s time for the Figure Four. That also means that it’s time for Sasha to come in with a frog splash for the save.

Becky grabs something like a Rock Bottom for two on Charlotte and rolls Sasha up for the same. In the first big spot of the match, Sasha dives through the ropes to flip onto Charlotte (possibly catching her foot on the ropes but it didn’t seem to change much). Becky TAKES OUT FLAIR, drawing one of the biggest pops of the night. With Becky and Sasha staggered, Charlotte goes up top and moonsaults onto both of them (looked sweet) for maybe the biggest spot in the history of women’s wrestling.

Back in and double Natural Selection gets a double near fall, much to Charlotte and Ric’s collective frustration. Charlotte loads Sasha up into an electric chair but Becky comes in with a missile dropkick for two on Sasha. The Disarm-Her has Charlotte in trouble until Sasha makes the save with the Bank Statement.

That brings Charlotte back in with the Figure Four on Banks, which is upgraded into the Figure Eight until Becky pulls them to the ropes. Charlotte spears Banks down but gets taken to the top for one heck of a superplex. Banks gets up and goes for the Bank Statement, only to be sent outside so Charlotte can grab the Figure Eight (with Flair holding Banks’ foot) to make Becky tap at 16:08.

Rating: A-. Match of the night so far by a good stretch and pretty easily the best women’s match ever on the main roster to date. There were a few botches here and there but the idea that three women could have a match on par with if not exceeding a lot of the better men would have been unthinkable just a few years ago. Great stuff here and FAR better than I think anyone could have hoped for (save for the logical Banks title win of course).

Charlotte poses and gets some pyro to really make this special.

You know, we’re about two hours and twenty minutes into this show and it’s on pace to be one of the best shows ever. I know there are some booking issues but other than a nothing six man (with a really fun post match segment), nothing has been bad and even that match was fine. However, there are four matches left and nearly TWO AND A HALF HOURS left in the show. I think I know where things are going to start going downhill.

The Cell is lowered for the 33rd time in WWE history. That stat kind of pulls things back a bit no?

We recap Shane McMahon vs. Undertaker and it’s time for this show to start to unravel. So Shane came back in January and talked about how Vince and Stephanie had ruined everything. There was something about a lockbox with evidence of Vince doing something bad (never specified) and Shane threatened to open it if he didn’t get to run Raw (which he said basically meant WWE). Vince decided to put it up in a match with Shane facing Undertaker in the Cell. Undertaker’s Wrestlemania career was put on the line and that’s about it for anyone buying this as anything serious.

At the end of the day, it’s really, REALLY hard to believe that Undertaker was in any real danger against Shane, who hadn’t wrestled a single match in seven years. It’s kind of hard to buy this as a competitive match, but there’s a very good chance that this was supposed to be John Cena instead of Shane but injuries derailed the plans (a major problem all night). To their credit, this match led to something like tens of thousands of tickets being sold in a hurry so it was definitely a draw and worthy of this kind of a push.

Shane McMahon vs. Undertaker

Inside Hell in a Cell. Shane does the high energy entrance and brings his kids out to dance to the ring with him as Shane Bucks fall from the ceiling in a cool moment. Apparently Shane wants to take Undertaker’s cardio, which you know Shane has in droves due to, you know, everything that works against him. Some right hands have no effect on Undertaker so he punches Shane down with one shot. Remember: best pure striker ever in WWE, which you can add to the list of reasons this should be a squash.

Snake Eyes into the big boot have Shane reeling but he gets Undertaker to chase him and stomps away. That earns him a throw into the cage wall and the apron legdrop as this is total dominance in the first five minutes. The Last Ride gets two and the match is instantly a complete mess at 5:32. I’m sorry but there’s no way I can buy this no matter what WWE wants to tell me. That move has beaten World Champions but SHANE MCMAHON, in his mid 40s and seven years removed from his last match, kicks out of it after getting beaten up? Just….no, period.

Undertaker grabs the steps but gets pulled into a weak triangle choke. That’s countered into a chokeslam onto the steps for another two as Shane is suddenly the offspring of Super Cena and Hulk Hogan. Undertaker misses an elbow onto the steps so Shane sits on them and teases Undertaker into a drop toehold onto said steps. I don’t buy Undertaker as being that stupid, nor do I buy the cover that follows.

Shane punches him in the face off the situp so Undertaker gets him in the Hell’s Gate, which Shane reverses into a Sharpshooter. You know, because anyone can survive THREE UNDERTAKER FINISHERS IN TWELVE MINUTES. Undertaker easily powers out so Shane punches him into the corner, which is totally enough to have Undertaker in trouble. Coast to Coast into a trashcan gets two and Shane grabs….boltcutters.

He cuts the Cell open but Undertaker tackles him through the wall and onto the announcers’ table. A monitor to the head looks to set up a Tombstone onto the table but Shane reverses into a sleeper. That’s reversed with a backwards crash through the table as this is getting even more ridiculous. A toolbox to the head puts Undertaker on a table…..and Shane climbs the Cell.

The big elbow completely misses (because it would have killed Undertaker) and you can see the crash pad deflate as Shane lands. Cole: “FOR THE LOVE OF MANKIND!” It was a terrifying spot live but now it’s much more silly than anything else, which isn’t the point in a match like this. Then again this stopped being anything serious or really interesting as soon as the Last Ride only got two so it’s a moot point. Shane says bring it again so Undertaker carries him inside for the Tombstone and the pin at 30:06.

Rating: D-. WAY too long here with a match that should have been a glorified squash (which this was) that ran only about half this long. The idea that Shane could hang in there with Undertaker under these or any circumstances (including a bunch of run-ins, which never happened), is a combination of insulting and stupid.

It’s a ridiculous story (both the buildup and the match itself) and a terribly dull match with one big spot not being able to make up for anything. This was more fun live but GOOD NIGHT it does not hold up. Cut it down to twenty minutes at most and this is much better but as it is, this is horrible. On top of that, allegedly Shane was supposed to win until Undertaker shot it down, which he certainly should have done. The show has hit a major wall now and it’s going to need something special to bring them out.

Shane is taken out on a stretcher as the announcers brag about how awesome he is, which is why a lot of people don’t like seeing Shane wrestle. Yeah he’ll do a bunch of stuff but he gets WAY more credit and praise than he deserves. Shane gives a thumbs up on the way out.

Reason #1 this show crashed so hard: from the time the Cell was lowered to the time we cut away from Shane: 50:43. That’s a lot of time to spend on something that…..bleh.

The pre-show panel chats for a bit.

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Fandango, Damien Sandow, Shaquille O’Neal, Big Show, Viktor, Diamond Dallas Page, Konnor, Tatanka, Jack Swagger, R-Truth, Goldust, Curtis Axel, Baron Corbin, Adam Rose, Heath Slater, Tyler Breeze, Mark Henry, Bo Dallas, Darren Young, Kane

O’Neal is a surprise, or as much of one as you can be when his face popped up on the big screen during the other entrances. We get the big staredown between Shaq and Show but they have to stop and double chokeslam Kane. Everyone else is sent outside (none eliminated) until Fandango comes in and gets eliminated. Sandow (POP) does the same and is eliminated as well, allowing everyone else to come in and eliminate Shaq and Show. Somehow, that means we NEED to see them at Wrestlemania the next year, despite almost no one asking to see it. Everyone stands around until Page hits the Diamond Cutter on Viktor and tosses him with ease.

Konnor gets rid of Page a few seconds later as this is already pretty dull stuff. The yet to be official Golden Truth eliminates Konnor and Tatanka goes on a warpath that no one was asking for. Corbin tosses Tatanka to no reaction and Kane backdrops Swagger out. The Social Outcasts of all people clean house and get rid of Goldust and Truth. We get a victory lap until Kane and Corbin get rid of Rose and Axel.

We’re down to Corbin, Kane, Young, Breeze, Henry and Dallas with Kane chokeslamming Baron. Henry comes back in after being on the floor for six minutes to eliminate Slater and Breeze to get us down to five. Kane and Young (the oddest couple until….Young and Bob Backlund I guess) get rid of Henry before Kane dumps Dallas and Young. Corbin sneaks in from behind though and eliminates Kane to win at 9:43 and set off the NXT chants.

Rating: D. This was your annual “hey we still have jobs” battle royal but for once they let someone have the win to elevate them up the card. Corbin hits the ground running and odds are he’s going to be challenging for the Intercontinental Title at next year’s show. That’s how you introduce a star and it worked very well. The battle royal itself didn’t though with too many dead spots, but at least they kept the pace up after the first year’s was over thirteen minutes and last year’s was over eighteen.

Wrestlemania XXXIII is in Orlando.

Here are the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders to perform, which is never a bad thing. They’re followed by something that’s a bit more hit or miss: Rock’s annual Wrestlemania appearance. This time it’s a bit different though because he has a FLAMETHROWER. He lights a ROCK sign on fire and this eats up even more time on a show already over three and a half hours long with the main event to go.

After the long entrance and some standing around, Rock FINALLY says his first words nearly eight minutes after the cheerleaders started. We get some crowd praising and talk of Rock babies as there’s a loud echo on everything Rock says (kind of cool because of just how big the place is) and the new attendance record of 101,763 is announced. Yeah I know it’s probably not quite that high and much like in 1987, I really don’t care that much.

Rock says it’s about to get good…and we’ve got Wyatts. Thankfully this means we get the Fireflies in the stadium, which was one of the coolest visuals I’ve ever seen. It actually lit up the ring, which is pretty impressive for a bunch of phones. Bray introduces himself and says he chose Rock because Rock represents a lie. Rock is supposed to be the People’s Champion but this is Bray’s moment. He’s going to eviscerate Rock on the grandest stage of them all and the people have to watch.

Rock mocks the eviscerating line and thinks Bray has been hitting the bong. We get some jokes about Rowan and Strowman (Is this where Rock buried Bray? I never can tell with these things.) before Rock praises Bray for having it all (BURIAL! HE’S BURYING HIM! SOMEONE GET A SHOVEL TO HELP BRAY!) and getting 100,000 people on their feet. Rock accuses Bray of eating Hot Pockets but Bray says he’s here to kick the door down. However, Rock has an idea: let’s have a match! We get a referee and Rock says pick any Family member as he takes off the workout gear to reveal trunks.

The Rock vs. Erick Rowan

Rock Bottom, six seconds. Again, I saw this called Rock burying the Wyatts. You know, because people are worried about ERICK ROWAN needing protection.

The Family surrounds Rock and heeeere’s Cena for the save. House is cleaned, signature moves are hit and Rock welcomes Cena back (he would be back in about a month) to FINALLY end this, 28:15 after the cheerleaders came out (I’m keeping time for a reason in case you couldn’t tell).

It’s 11:03pm so let’s recap the main event. Roman Reigns was World Champion but HHH couldn’t get him to go corporate so it’s Austin vs. Vince again. HHH made Reigns defend the title in the Royal Rumble, which he of course entered and won to set up this match. People really weren’t all that interested but you knew this was going to happen several months back. You know, because THIS TIME FOR SURE it’s going to get Reigns over.

WWE World Title: Roman Reigns vs. HHH

HHH is defending and here’s Stephanie in what I think is a Mad Max look. It’s a closeup of her face in front of a barren wasteland as she talks about how this is their world and we’re all just living in it. Basically all hope is lost and we need to give up on this ridiculous belief that anyone can save us from the Authority.

Then an army of people in skull masks (NXT wrestlers with Enzo Amore at the front) carrying WWE Titles comes to the ring to set up HHH’s entrance where Stephanie gets to show off her legs. Again, just like the last two years, the big face gets to follow this rather cool (and over the top) HHH entrance. But hey, at least we get the annual HHH is Cool moment right?

As ridiculous (and as much as they’re begging the fans to boo them instead of Reigns) as this is, it’s NOTHING compared to the outright hatred that Reigns receives. The man is booed out of Texas and allegedly the audio had to be turned down in response. If that’s true…..I really wouldn’t be surprised.

Since these two can’t stand each other, they go to a headlock and armbar to start. The fans unload on Reigns when he shoulders HHH, only to get hiptossed to the floor. Back in and HHH works on the arm some more until Reigns shoves him into the corner for more incredible booing. A lockup goes nowhere as this is already starting to look like one of HHH’s disastrous main events.

Some hard forearms to the back of Reigns’ head put him down. The comeback is so soundly booed that it’s almost comical. A Stunner over the top rope sets up the apron dropkick for one on the champ. Stephanie offers a quick distraction so HHH can get in a low blow (FACE POP) and Reigns goes down again. HHH goes with some hard right hands to the face and the spinebuster gets two.

They head outside with HHH sending him face first into the announcers’ table (which he did a few weeks back to break Reigns’ nose). Another comeback is cut off and Reigns is thrown into the German announcers. Back in and Reigns uppercuts him out of the air and hammers away, only to have HHH bail from the Superman Punch. They trade whips into the steps until Reigns spears him through the barricade for almost no reaction. This is basically the same problem as HHH vs. Jericho in 2002: there’s no reason to believe the champ has a chance so there’s no reason to care until Reigns hits a spear in the ring.

Back in again and Reigns is holding his arm but HE’LL CONTINUE! And without a thirty minute nap like at the Rumble! Oh he’s got his working boots on tonight. HHH puts on a Fujiwara armbar of all things because the main event of Wrestlemania with a match that’s supposed to be based on hatred is built around a bad arm. See, when Daniel Bryan did that, it was entertaining. When Reigns is doing it, the fans are cheering the evil villain.

Reigns powers out of something like the Rings of Saturn but can’t knock the confetti off of HHH’s head. It’s back to the armbar until Reigns FINALLY gets the break with a powerbomb. That goes nowhere so WE HIT ANOTHER ARMBAR BECAUSE THIS MATCH NEEDS TO BE ALL LONG AND EPIC AND STUFF! Another powerbomb breaks the hold again but the spear is countered into a Pedigree which is countered into a backdrop to the floor.

The fans start singing to placate their boredom until the spear gets….no count because Stephanie pulls the referee out. Now Stephanie gets in to yell at the referee, earning herself a spear and turning Reigns into the biggest star in the world (for about thirty seconds). If my memory serves me right, she hasn’t taken a bump in nearly a year since then, or really had anything bad happen to her that lasted more than a day or two.

The Pedigree gives us the first hot near fall of the match and it’s the Superman Punch to drop HHH. The second spear is broken up with a knee and Stephanie hands HHH the sledgehammer (She took a spear less than four minutes ago so OF COURSE she’s capable of doing that. This woman is scary.). Not that it matters as another Superman Punch and the spear give Reigns the title back at 27:04.

Rating: D. And a lot of that is just for having the guts to go out there and do a match this boring in this spot on this show. This match was twelve minutes of HHH working on the arm and then getting into the main event style that went exactly where we knew it was going. The lack of drama or really anything interesting (save for that Stephanie spear) killed this and there was no recovering given how long the thing ran.

This needed to be about fifteen minutes shorter and we would have had the same result: Reigns winning and getting booed out of the building because people just don’t want to see him in this spot. There was a total lack of hatred and violence here and it really dragged things down, which is far too often the case for any given HHH match. It’s one of the worst Wrestlemania main events ever and there’s really no way around that.

A quick celebration sets up the traditional long music video to wrap things up.

Overall Rating: D. I can’t think of a single show that is so completely different from the first half to the second. The worst thing about the first few matches is the booking with the worst match being a somewhat dull six man tag. If you cut this off after the Women’s Title, this is one of the better pay per views I’ve seen in several years.

Then the Cell was lowered, kicking off the last “four” matches (counting Rock vs. Rowan) and the long segment. When you add up the Cell, the Rock segment and the main event, they all combined for over two hours. That’s two REALLY bad matches and a segment that went on far too long (but was entertaining at times) adding up to an episode of Smackdown. Clip off fifteen minutes from Shane vs. Undertaker (and another five from the intro/post match stuff), ten from Rock’s stuff (say, him playing with a flamethrower) and AT LEAST ten off the main event and this is instantly a less horrible show.

Unlike most pay per views, Wrestlemania is almost exclusively remembered for two to three matches more often than not. Therefore, it’s a major problem when your two main matches are long and rather horrible. It was hard to keep interest in this show even sitting in the stadium and that should not happen. There’s a lot of good stuff in the first half though and switching the order up would have helped out a lot. Unfortunately that’s completely the opposite of what they did as it was all stupid booking overshadowing the good and then REALLY bad stuff covering the rest of the show.

It’s easy to see why this show is remembered so poorly when the second half is just such a wreck. It felt like a huge way to have the fans get annoyed while WWE laughs and says “we’ve got all your money”. You shouldn’t leave Wrestlemania talking about how bad the show was when there was so much good going on. The bad completely outweighs the good here and there was no way anything else was going to be remembered. Awful show that lives down to its reputation.

Ratings Comparison

Zack Ryder vs. Stardust vs. Sin Cara vs. Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens vs. The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler

Original: B

Redo: B

AJ Styles vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

Redo: B

New Day vs. League of Nations

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Brock Lesnar vs. Dean Ambrose

Original: D+

Redo: C+

Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch vs. Sasha Banks

Original: B+

Redo: A-

Shane McMahon vs. Undertaker

Original: D

Redo: D-

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Original: D

Redo: D

The Rock vs. Erick Rowan

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

HHH vs. Roman Reigns

Original: D

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D

Oh yeah I was still feeling the in-person vibe when I watched this back the first time. A C- is WAY too generous.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2016/04/08/wrestlemania-xxxii-strap-yourselves-in-this-is-a-long-one/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/03/24/kbs-history-of-nxt-volumes-1-and-2-now-available-in-paperback/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XXXI (2021 Redo): The Superstar Segment

Wrestlemania XXXI
Date: March 29, 2015
Location: Levi’s Stadium, Santa Clara, California
Attendance: 76,976
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

I haven’t watched this one in a few years so it seemed like a good way to go for the redo this year. This show feels like a lifetime ago and is built around Roman Reigns’ rocket push towards the main event where he will challenge Brock Lesnar. Other than that, we have the insane to imagine Sting vs. HHH showdown, which I’m sure will be a mat classic. Let’s get to it.

Before we get into the Kickoff Show matches, an interesting note: since Peacock has taken away the Kickoff Shows, I went to WWE’s YouTube page to watch the Kickoff Show matches there. The Kickoff Show is available…..but the matches have been edited out, despite the talking heads hyping them up. Unless I’m mistaken, the matches aired on YouTube in the first place, so who in the world decided to edit them out here? I’d love to hear the rationale for some of WWE’s decisions at times, because they can be downright baffling.

I say it every time I see anything from this show but DANG that stage is huge.

Kickoff Show: Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Tyson Kidd/Cesaro vs. Los Matadores vs. New Day

Kidd and Cesaro, with Natalya, are defending, one fall to a finish, Naomi is here with the Usos, El Torito is here with Los Matadores and it’s Big E./Kofi Kingston for New Day. The outdoor light is still weird to see but it’s a cool visual. Cesaro and Kofi start things off but Diego tags himself in. That’s too much for Cesaro, who drives Jey into the barricade to take him out (with JBL confirming a shoulder injury almost immediately).

Kofi monkey flips Diego down for two and it’s Cesaro coming in as Jey is taken out. Cesaro grabs the chinlock but Kofi is up in a hurry as they can’t waste time here. The Cesaro Swing into Kidd’s dropkick rocks Kofi and Kidd kicks Kofi over for the tag to Jimmy. With four people in a corner each, Jimmy hits a bunch of running Umaga Attacks, leaving Kofi to hit a heck of a dive off the top to take out Fernando.

Jimmy superkicks Kidd for two but a Big E. blind tag lets him launch Kofi into a double stomp for two on Cesaro. Back up and the apron superplex brings Big E. in again, this time setting up a slingshot splash from Diego. Los Matadores hit a sunset bomb/Backstabber combination for two on Kingston, leaving the seconds to get into it on the floor. Natalya gets the Sharpshooter on Torito, setting up Naomi and Jimmy to hit stereo running dives.

Back in and the Big Ending gets two Diego with a few people making the save. Big E. suplexes Fernando but Jimmy breaks up the Big Ending with a superkick. Kofi comes back in for Trouble in Paradise to Kidd and everyone goes to the corner. That means the required Tower of Doom, leaving Jimmy to Superfly Splash Big E…..but Cesaro comes in to steal the pin at 9:58.

Rating: B-. This is one of those matches that works every time I see it because they had a bunch of people in there flying around as fast as they could for about ten minutes. It worked very well because of the talent involved and it’s nice to see Cesaro get another big Wrestlemania win. Really smart choice for the opener here (much like the previous year’s four way tag) and the stage (even the really big one) is set for the rest of the night.

Kickoff Show: Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Curtis Axel, Diego, Kane, Jack Swagger, Titus O’Neil, Goldust, Tyson Kidd, Alex Riley, Erick Rowan, Ryback, Mark Henry, Fandango, Fernando, Xavier Woods, Darren Young, Jimmy Uso, Cesaro, Damien Mizdow. Viktor, Hideo Itami, Adam Rose, Konnor, The Miz, Big Show, Big E, Heath Slater, Zack Ryder, Bo Dallas, Sin Cara, Kofi Kingston,

Axel stops to tear off the Axelmania shirt and is quickly sent out by the mob. Rose and Fandango eliminate each other and Show chops Itami, who won a tournament in NXT to get his spot. Miz and Mizdow (in the stunt double phase) double team Riley for the elimination and Dallas dumps out Ryder, only to get tossed by Itami. Show puts Itami out with the big right hand, earning a lot of booing.

Kane gets rid of Fernando and Diego and Cesaro does the same to Cara. There goes Kidd as the eliminations are coming in a hurry. The Ascension manages to dump Henry (possibly their main roster highlight) but Ryback tosses both of them. Ryback tosses Young and Slater but Titus runs him over. That earns Titus an elimination and Show knocks out Swagger.

New Day triple teams Big Show, who eliminates all three from the apron. Rowan and Goldust are out as well and Kane chokeslams Miz and Mizdow (not out). Cesaro slams Kane out ala Show last year and Show gets rid of Uso. That leaves Cesaro to go after Show but he can’t slam him this time, allowing Show to dump him out. Ryback drops Show but charges into the elimination.

We’re down to Ryback, Miz and Mizdow, with the fans going nuts for Mizdow. The split is teased and Mizdow listens to the fans by dumping Miz and shouting that he quits. That leaves Show vs. Mizdow and the fans are right behind him again. Mizdow skins the cat to avoid an elimination and gets Show upside down on the top….but then Show powers him up and out for the win at 18:07.

Rating: D+. They kept it moving despite how much time it had, but between Itami being completely wasted in the whole thing and the storyline of “Big Show has never won a battle royal” (except he had) and the fans BEGGING for Mizdow to get the win, this was a hard one to sit through. Show would use his newfound momentum (which he totally needed) by not winning another match for two and a half months.

Aloe Blacc sings America the Beautiful.

The opening video is narrated by LL Cool J, who talks about how we have all been connected for years. It has been the case from radio to television to the internet but the one constant has been us. We have those moments where we can all connect to, when we look at each other and say that was awesome. That is what Wrestlemania has done for us to shape our history. These men and women will take the biggest stage in live entertainment to move us and shape us to connect us. This is Wrestlemania. Awesome stuff here from LL Cool J, who sold the heck out of this thing.

Intercontinental Title: Daniel Bryan vs. Bad News Barrett vs. Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Luke Harper vs. Stardust vs. R-Truth

Barrett is defending in a ladder match and this is the result of the rather stupid “a bunch of people steal the title” deal. Bryan is still crazy over, as you might have guessed. It’s so bizarre seeing Brandi Rhodes as a run of the mill (yet talented) ring announcer. It’s also weird seeing Cody Rhodes as….whatever Stardust was supposed to be. Huge pop for Ambrose here too. It’s a big brawl to start with some of the people being knocked out to the floor.

Ambrose hits a suicide dive onto Harper and Barrett throws a ladder. Truth hits a running flip dive to drop Barrett but Stardust dives onto a bunch of people. Harper backdrops Ziggler onto even more people and then hits almost everyone with a dive of his own. Ambrose is the last man standing so he climbs a ladder to dive onto the pile as well. It’s Truth up first with a ladder but the fear of heights lets Barrett come in with some ladder shots.

Bryan knocks Barrett down and crushes him with the ladder in the corner. Stardust and Barrett get crushed in the corner but Harper shoves the ladder at Bryan to cut him off. This includes tying Harper in the Tree of Woe for some YES Kicks but Ziggler makes the save with a superkick this time around. Ziggler and Ambrose pull each other down and then Barrett pulls them both down at once. With Barrett dispatched, Ambrose, Ziggler and Truth go up at the same time so Stardust dropkicks the ladder out.

The CODY chants mess with Stardust so he throws the ladder over the top to hit Harper in the head for a big knockdown. With no one else up, Stardust pulls out…Exo Atmospheric Starbird, which means a glittery ladder. Barrett breaks a rung off and starts beating people with it, only to have Ambrose knock the ladder onto him. Ambrose and Harper get in the ring with some normal sized ladders but Harper goes simple with a big boot. A catapult sends Ziggler face first into a ladder and Ambrose gets dropped face first onto a ladder in the corner.

Harper puts the ladder around his neck to blast a few people until Truth takes him down. Truth busts out the huge ladder but Barrett breaks it up. Stardust goes up but the ladder isn’t in the right place, meaning Barrett can superplex him down for the huge crash. Ziggler, Bryan and Ambrose go up at the same time with Ambrose being knocked down, allowing him to turn over the ladder to knock both of them down.

That leaves Ambrose to go up but Harper hits a heck of a powerbomb through a ladder bridges between the ring and the barricade. Ziggler grabs a sleeper on Harper, who climbs anyway, until Ziggler pulls him down with a huge Zig Zag. Medics check on Ambrose as Barrett has to pull Ziggler off the ladder into a Bull Hammer.

There’s another one to Stardust and another to knock Truth off the ladder. Bryan breaks that up but Barrett and Ziggler knock him off as well. Bryan’s running knee drops Barrett (which is not how he won the title last year Cole) and, after winning a slugout with Ziggler on top of the ladder (including a nasty exchange of headbutts), wins the title at 13:49.

Rating: B. This worked too, if nothing else for the sake of giving Bryan a prize to let the crowd have something to cheer about for later. Bryan is still one of the most popular stars in the company and it makes sense to start off like this. As for the match itself, it was the wild carnage that a huge ladder match like this should be, with enough people in there to keep things moving. Fun opener, which is the right way to go here. Unfortunately Bryan would have to vacate about a month and a half later and then go on the shelf for three years.

Quick bit of trivia: this is Bryan’s fifth Wrestlemania and the fifth different title he has competed for (United States, World Heavyweight, Tag Team, WWE, Intercontinental). That has to be some kind of a record/one time occurrence.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Seth Rollins. Orton was the future for a long time but then HHH changed his mind and made Rollins the new future. They were both part of the Authority but HHH chose Rollins, meaning Orton was kicked out of the team. This included a Curb Stomp onto the steps to put Orton out. It’s revenge time.

Randy Orton vs. Seth Rollins

Rollins, Mr. Money in the Bank, has J&J Security with him. They trade headlocks to start until Orton hits a dropkick. It’s too early for the RKO so Rollins snaps his throat across the top. Orton is right back with right hands to the head but has to deal with Security….by hitting a double hanging DDT to the floor. Yeah that should work, or at least it should as Rollins uses the distraction to hit the suicide dive.

Back in and Rollins gets two off a suplex and we hit the chinlock. That’s broken up and Orton ducks a sprinting to start the clothesline comeback. A t-bone suplex of all things sends Rollins flying but he nails an enziguri to put Orton on the floor. That means an Asai moonsault can drop Orton again and they’re both down. Back in and Rollins gets caught on top but blocks the superplex attempt.

That’s fine with Orton, who backdrops him down, setting up a high crossbody for two. The hanging DDT plants Rollins again and the RKO connects for two. Security comes in to block the Punt so it’s a pair of RKOs, which allow Rollins to hit the Curb Stomp for two of his own. Rollins has to roll out of a Phoenix splash so he tries another Curb Stomp, which is LAUNCHED into the air and pulled down into the RKO (that was GREAT and one of the best RKO counters ever) for the pin at 13:16.

Rating: C+. The match was pretty much a Raw main event but dang that ending stayed on the highlight reels for a while, as it should have. They timed it perfectly and Rollins falling down into the inevitable was great. Orton winning is a little odd as Rollins seems to be the future star, but it’s not like losing to Orton is some kind of a career killer.

Ronda Rousey is here.

We recap HHH vs. Sting and I’m still not sure I know what this is about. They said it wasn’t about WWE vs. WCW, but then Stephanie McMahon insisted that of course it was and you can’t question her, so that seems to be where we are. Or maybe it’s about Sting being the vigilante against the Authority. It’s just a big mess all around, but that’s the best thing that you can do when Sting can barely move.

HHH vs. Sting

Sting gets this big, kind of odd Japanese drum entrance. It certainly looks cool, but I have no idea what the connection to Sting is supposed to be. That’s a bit too cool though, so HHH gets a full Terminator entrance, complete with Terminators rising from the stage, armor for HHH, and a cameo from Arnold Schwarzenegger himself. Cole: “Wrestlemania is brought to you by Terminator: Genisys!” This is also a street fight (or at least pinfall/submission only), likely for the sake of things not going south in a hurry.

We get the big staredown to start and the fans instantly deem this awesome. Ok fair enough after the entrances. They stare each other down for a good while to start until Sting nails a shoulder for a knockdown. HHH is back up with a headlock takeover as they are taking it very slowly to start. A shoulder puts Sting down for a change but the crotch chop is enough to bring him back up for a dropkick. There’s the YOU STILL GOT IT chant as we’re somehow three minutes into this already.

HHH punches his way out of the corner as Cole and JBL debate Super Bowls (with Cole somehow saying that the NFL winning two of the first three meant things were even). The facebuster has no effect on Sting but it’s too early for the Scorpion Deathlock. Instead Sting whips him into and over the corner but the Stinger Splash hits the barricade (traditions are fun). JBL says this is where you find out if Sting was ever that good in the first place, because you take shots at WCW whenever you can, a mere fourteen years after the company went under.

HHH hits a delayed vertical suplex and drops the knee for two. We hit the chinlock as commentary still tries to make it about WCW, which is a pretty good illustration of why younger fans don’t watch WWE as much these days (You would have to be……twenty here to have any vague memory of Sting in WCW? Thirty for when he was still good?). HHH comes back with the spinebuster for two but Sting grabs the legs and puts on the Scorpion (not a great one but still better than the awful ones in TNA)….and here’s DX, this time in the form of the New Age Outlaws and X-Pac.

Sting lets go to beat them up and then backdrops HHH out to the floor. That means the big Sting dive, easily the best looking thing that he has done so far (and one of the best in years). Cole: “WE WERE BEGGING TO SEE THAT IN THE MONDAY NIGHT WAR!” Yeah picture lines like that for the whole match. Back in and HHH hits the Pedigree (JBL: “HE LOST TWO WARS!”) for two, giving us the stunned look on the kickout.

HHH busts out the sledgehammer but the NWO (Hollywood Hogan/Kevin Nash/Scott Hall, all close personal longtime friends of Sting of course) taking their very sweet time, comes out for the save. As weird as it is to see Hogan punching X-Pac, the distraction lets Sting hit the Death Drop for two. We hit the Deathlock as everyone gets in a brawl on the floor (with Nash going down and grabbing his leg, which has to be a rib). HHH finally makes the rope (JBL: “THIS IS US VS. THEM!”) and here is Shawn Michaels to superkick Sting.

That gives HHH a delayed two as the fans deem this awesome. HHH gets the sledgehammer again so Sting backs up, allowing Hall to hand him the baseball bat (that’s a great visual, but I don’t think a wooden bat would have much of a chance). A bat shot to the ribs puts HHH down and another breaks the sledgehammer in half. Sting unloads in the corner and hits the Stinger Splash but a second attempt is knocked out of the air by the sledgehammer for the pin at 18:37.

Rating: C+. I’m really torn on this one as I loved the heck out of it live but egads this doesn’t hold up on another viewing. The huge leaps in logic around the NWO, commentary being a complete nightmare and Sting losing in his big WWE debut (which led nowhere) made this a mess. The nostalgia is enough to carry it, but my goodness they did everything they could to suck the fun out of this.

Post match (and two minutes after the sledgehammer shot), Sting is up to shake HHH’s hand. Cole: “Do you think it has finally been put to bed?” The thing has been put to bed, fallen asleep, woken up and is getting ready for college by this point.

Here’s what’s coming to the WWE Network.

Daniel Bryan (interviewed by a Bushwhackers shirt wearing Maria Menunos) is proud of his win, and is congratulated by Pat Patterson, Roddy Piper (who kisses him on the head), Ricky Steamboat (who does a bad Randy Savage impression), Ric Flair (for the WOOING) and Bret Hart, all of whom do a YES chant. Ron Simmons comes in and says the catchphrase, leaving us to start YESing again. I love these wacky cameos.

Now for something I don’t love: Skyler Grey and Kid Ink. Give us a mini concert of the show’s theme song.

Some troops are watching in Tacoma, Washington.

Paige/AJ Lee vs. Bella Twins

Not much of a backstory here other than Paige/Lee being wrestlers and the Bellas being….well the Bellas. Nikki and Paige start with the brawl until Nikki grabs the Alabama Slam for two, followed by a forearm to knock AJ off the apron. Brie comes in with a missile dropkick for the same and we hit the chinlock.

The BRIE MODE running knee knocks AJ off the apron again and it’s back to Nikki for the Rack Attack. Paige fights back and knocks the Bellas to the floor for a running flip dive, setting up the hot tag to AJ. Nikki rolls through a high crossbody as Paige and Brie fight on the floor. The Black Widow has Nikki in trouble but Brie makes the save, only to get superkicked by Paige. Another Black Widow makes Nikki tap at 6:39.

Rating: C-. Another nothing match here, but this one was at least a bit more interesting as it would be AJ’s last match as she walked away after getting one more Wrestlemania payday. The match itself was just above Raw level but it’s so weird to see Paige and AJ these days. They seem like such relics of the past as the Divas Revolution just completely blew them away (even if Paige was part of it) a few months later.

We get a tale of the tape for Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns, with Cole saying a supercomputer calculated them. It took a supercomputer to tell us the titles they won, their heights and weights?

It’s time for the Hall of Fame recap and presentation for the stadium. Alundra Blayze pulling the Women’s Title out of a trashcan was a great moment. Also: “With triumphant jubilation, we celebrate his name. Finally the Macho Man is in the Hall of Fame.”

Here’s the class in the stadium:

Rikishi (nice reaction)

Larry Zbyszko (not sure how many people today will care)

Alundra Blayze (just call her Madusa already)

Family of Conor Michalek (for the Warrior Award, which isn’t what Warrior wanted it for but it’s a nice moment)

Bushwhackers (biggest reaction so far, though Butch looks ancient)

Tatsumi Fujinami (I’d say he earned it)

Randy Savage (represented by Lanny Poffo, to a nice response)

Arnold Schwarzenegger (not much of a response)

Kevin Nash (gets the full music entrance)

We recap Rusev vs. John Cena for Rusev’s US Title. Rusev actually beat Cena by knockout at Fastlane so Cena is fighting for a rematch and AMERICA. After Rusev started insulting America, Cena put him in the STF until Lana finally agreed to the title match. I think you know where this is going.

US Title: Rusev vs. John Cena

Rusev is defending….and comes out in a Russian tank (where he and Lana allegedly had some rather personal time), complete with the full military band introduction. Yeah we’re not topping that one tonight, or for a long time to come for that matter. Cena gets a Ronald Reagan speech, with clips of great American innovations and sporting moments. The crowd is not exactly thrilled to see Cena here (make your own jokes). They knock each other down for an exchange of early near falls and Rusev gets two more off of a gutwrench suplex.

The Cannonball…mostly connects for two on Cena and it’s time to wave the Russian flag. Cena is back up with some flying shoulders into the ProtoBomb and the Shuffle. It’s too early for the AA but Rusev knocks him down for two more. Rusev’s swinging spin out Rock Bottom gets two but Cena breaks up a superplex attempt. There’s the top rope Fameasser for two more as the LET’S GO LANA chants start up.

Rusev hits the jumping superkick for two, followed by Cena’s tornado DDT for the same. Back up and a jumping knee to the head drops Cena again but Cena picks the ankle into the STF. Lana throws in a shoe, which is enough of a distraction to break the hold and let Rusev hit a fall away slam. Rusev goes aerial with a top rope headbutt (that looked good too) but the kickout frustrates him even more.

The Accolade is blocked and Cena busts out a springboard Stunner of all things, which only gets another RUSEV chant. Another superkick sets up a wheelbarrow faceplant and we hit the full Accolade. This time Cena powers out and drives him into the corner, setting up another STF. Lana gets up for the distraction but Rusev runs into her by mistake and it’s the AA to give Rusev his first loss and Cena the title at 14:32.

Rating: B. This felt like a big time match and the power of AMERICA wins in the end, which is all you can ask for. Cena winning is the right call (I think), though the collective gasp if Rusev had kicked out of the AA would have been great. This would kick off the John Cena US Open Challenge though, which gave us some of the most compelling WWE TV in years so I think we can call it a success.

Post match Rusev yells at Lana as the split seems likely. JBL declares Cena’s win a win for everything that is good as we flash even further back in the 80s.

Wrestlemania XXXII is in Dallas.

Long Kickoff Show recap.

Here’s the Authority (HHH/Stephanie McMahon in this case) to announce the attendance record. Stephanie talks about being eight years old at the first Wrestlemania where her friend Andre the Giant (they pushed the heck out of that around this time) made it feel like a huge show. We hear about how globally available Wrestlemania is and thanks the Authority for making all of this possible.

HHH says he beat Sting tonight and he feels like he beat every fan here too, plus millions around the world. They owned Sting, just like they own everyone in the back and everyone here tonight because the Authority always wins. And here’s the Rock to blow the non-existent roof off of the place. Stephanie: “Ok you’re happy to see him.” Rock says the Authority doesn’t own the people or the Rock because the Rock is an East Bay Boy, as he was born in the East Bay around here.

HHH has two choices: go dress up like Terminator again or have a Wrestlemania Moment right here. The guys go fast to face and HHH talks about beating Rock most of the time, meaning he has nothing to prove. Rock says that just like he left his heart in San Francisco, HHH left his testicles in Stamford, Connecticut. That gets HHH’s jacket off and but Stephanie gets between them and says they made Rock.

Therefore Rock can leave, which he does, by slowly walking around the ring….and finding Ronda Rousey (with Shayna Baszler next to her). Ronda jumps the barricade and gets in the ring with Rock as JBL freaks out about Stephanie being in danger (don’t worry though, because she trained for the armbar and could block it when they had their match, because Stephanie). Rock says he would never hit a woman, but he has a friend who would be happy to.

Stephanie doesn’t think much of Rousey because she is a big fan of hers. Rousey doesn’t look impressed so Stephanie tells Ronda to go sit down and enjoy Wrestlemania like a nice little fan. Rousey: “Any ring I step into is mine.” She tells Stephanie to make her leave and there’s the death stare. Rock stops things to warn Stephanie what that look means. Rock: “That look Steph, means that if you keep running your mouth, she’s going to reach down your throat, and pull your insides out and play jump rope with your Fallopian tubes.”

After one of my favorite lines ever, and Rock mocking jumping rope, HHH is tired of this. The fight is on and Rousey flips HHH so Stephanie gets in her face, earning herself and arm….well just cranking because of UFC but it’s enough to make her run so Rock and Rousey can pose. This was great and the big WWE welcome to Rousey, but it would be a little while before anything came from it. Till though, awesome segment and you could feel every bit of Rousey’s star power.

We recap Undertaker vs. Bray Wyatt. The Streak was broken last year and Undertaker was shaken up, so now Bray wants to be the new face of fear. Undertaker: “I’m not dead yet.” This screams bad idea but let’s do it anyway. Three notes here: I don’t believe this aired on the original broadcast due to time (and I have no notes on it elsewhere) and Bray sprained the heck out of his ankle during the intros. Also, the Peacock version of this actually includes the music, which I never would have expected.

Undertaker vs. Bray Wyatt

Bray’s entrance is another odd one, as he walks by several scarecrows who come to life and follow him. The entrances are cool of course, but they lose quite a bit in the daylight. They also take the better part of ever because Bray is hurt and Undertaker is Undertaker, though that guitar solo on Bray’s entrance is always great. Also, Undertaker has grown his hair out a bit and put on some muscle for a big improvement.

After about eight minutes of entrances, including Bray looking a little scared once Undertaker actually gets in the ring, we’re ready to go. Bray shouts that this is his and gets booted in the face before the bell. Undertaker strikes away in the corner and wastes no time in starting in on the arm. Old School connects and the fans say Undertaker still has it. A clothesline puts Undertaker on the floor but he lands on his feet and pulls Bray outside as commentary talks about Undertaker being the best ever.

The apron legdrop connects and sets up Snake Eyes but Bray is ready for the big boot. Bray unloads in the corner and manages a running splash for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit, followed by a ram into the post to keep Undertaker down. Bray is limping pretty badly as Undertaker pulls him into Hell’s Gate, which is broken in a hurry. The release Rock Bottom into the backsplash crushes Undertaker again as commentary thinks this might have been a bad idea.

Sister Abigail takes way too long to set up so Undertaker grabs the throat (Bray’s OH S*** look is awesome) for a chokeslam. The Tombstone connects for two and, after Undertaker is done panicking, Sister Abigail gets the same. Bray spiders up but Undertaker sits up and glares at him with a “boy what are you thinking about” stare, sending Bray crawling back. They slug it out with Bray getting the better of things, but Undertaker counters Sister Abigail into the Tombstone for the pin at 15:12.

Rating: C. It just wasn’t all that good with neither guy looking overly impressive. Undertaker looked WAY better than he did last year, but that isn’t exactly a hard bar to clear. The other problem is that Undertaker is just kind of an old legend here instead of having the Streak be the be all and end all deal. The match was fine enough, but this one isn’t remembered for a reason.

Chris Jericho is going to do a special podcast on the Network (because Steve Austin was out with shoulder surgery) with special guest John Cena.

We recap Roman Reigns (who looks so young here) vs. Brock Lesnar for the WWE World Title. Reigns won the Royal Rumble to continue the rocket push and suddenly was ready for Lesnar. Brock and Paul Heyman didn’t seem to agree and it was time to put Reigns in his place. This felt like a fight instead of a match and that is the only way it should have been billed.

WWE World Title: Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar

Lesnar is defending and the fans DO NOT like Reigns here, even as he makes the long entrance. The fans even go along with Paul Heyman’s intro of Lesnar to make the affiliation clear. Reigns charges at him and gets driven into the corner to start. Lesnar is bleeding from the cheek so it’s the first German suplex into an F5 in less than thirty seconds. Lesnar spends longer than that stalking Reigns and pounds away in the corner, setting up the release fisherman’s suplex.

The referee is already asking Reigns if he is sure about this so Reigns slugs away but Brock just stares at him for trying a clothesline. Another German suplex has Lesnar bouncing but Reigns is smiling at him. Some forearms to the back set up a belly to back suplex, allowing Lesnar to debut “SUPLEX CITY B****!” As WWE starts printing the t-shirts, Reigns hits some hard right hands but gets caught in a German suplex.

Reigns smiles at him again so there’s another German suplex to send Reigns flying. Lesnar drapes him over the top and fires off knees, with the fans deeming it awesome. A running forearm knocks Reigns off the apron and into the barricade, with Reigns barely being able to sit up. Back up and Brock charges into a knee, followed by another knee to the face. Reigns kicks him in the face so Brock SMASHES HIM with a clothesline out to the floor.

Lesnar is bleeding from the mouth now as he takes Reigns back inside for another suplex. Brock suplexes him back over the top rope so the crowd starts chanting EIGHT for the number of suplexes. The F5 gets two and Heyman’s eyes bug out as Lesnar smiles. Lesnar takes the gloves off and slaps Reigns in the face but Reigns keeps smiling. That’s too far for Brock, who snaps off more German suplexes. Another F5 gets two and now Lesnar has had it.

They head outside where Lesnar gets posted to bust him open from the forehead as well. Back in and Reigns has the look in his eyes and hits back to back Superman Punches. A third is countered into a German suplex but Reigns fights out and hits a bunch of headbutts. There’s the Third Superman Punch to FINALLY knock Lesnar down, followed by a pair of spears. The third is countered into an F5 to put everyone down…..and here’s Seth Rollins to cash in Money in the Bank and make this a triple threat!

WWE World Title: Seth Rollins vs. Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar

Lesnar is still defending. Rollins sends Reigns outside and hits a Curb Stomp on Lesnar. Another is countered into an F5 attempt but Reigns runs in with a spear to Lesnar. Rollins hits the Curb Stomp on Reigns for the pin and the title at 16:43 (plus a “thank you very much” to Reigns).

Rating: A-. This took a lot of time to get going but this was pure gold as soon as Lesnar got mad. It was one great moment after another with both of them giving it everything they had. That’s all you needed it to be and it played perfectly into the idea of a main event fight instead of a match. It’s also a great example of some brilliant booking, as WWE wanted to keep both of them strong and needed a way out. For one of the only times ever, the Money in the Bank briefcase was the perfect choice to get them out of the problem they have. It was an awesome moment to wrap up an outstanding match and easily the best thing on the show.

Rollins celebrates on the stage to a bunch of pyro to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. This is kind of an odd show as there is nothing truly bad, but aside from the main event and maybe Sting vs. HHH, what is remembered here? It’s one of those Wrestlemanias that is very good on its own but had almost no long term consequences or impact. You get those every now and then but it still makes for a pretty awesome show on its own. This is definitely worth another look and I had a lot of fun with it, as long as you aren’t expecting any game changers.

Ratings Comparison

Tyson Kidd/Cesaro vs. Usos vs. New Day vs. Los Matadores

Original: C+

2015 Redo: B

2021 Redo: B-

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Original: D+

2015 Redo: D

2021 Redo: D+

Daniel Bryan vs. Dean Ambrose vs. Bar News Barrett vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Luke Harper vs. R-Truth vs. Stardust

Original: B

2015 Redo: B

2021 Redo: B

Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton

Original: B

2015 Redo: B

2021 Redo: C+

Sting vs. HHH

Original: B-

2015 Redo: B-

2021 Redo: C+

AJ Lee/Paige vs. Bella Twins

Original: C+

2015 Redo: C-

2021 Redo: C-

John Cena vs. Rusev

Original: B-

2015 Redo: C+

2021 Redo: B

Bray Wyatt vs. Undertaker

Original: B

2015 Redo: C+

2021 Redo: C

Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns

Original: B+

2015 Redo: A-

2021 Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: A

2015 Redo: B+

2021 Redo: B+

Wyatt vs. Undertaker and Rollins vs. Orton have both fallen but it’s still a heck of a show.

Here is the original version if you are interested:

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/03/29/wrestlemania-xxxi-shock-and-awe-shock-and-awe/

And the 2015 Redo:

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2016/04/03/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xxxi-2016-redo-surprise/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Smackdown – April 3, 2026: The Ringer?

Smackdown
Date: April 3, 2026
Location: Enterprise Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Wade Barrett, Joe Tessitore

We could be in for a big one here, as we are in Randy Orton’s hometown and Orton has teased what we’ll be finding out who has been calling him lately. That opens up a bunch of options, but hopefully it gets the fans to actually boo him. Unfortunately, the whole “it’s Orton’s hometown” might make that difficult. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Stephanie McMahon slapping Cody Rhodes on Raw, warning him that he needs to wake up before Randy Orton knocks him into tomorrow.

Here is Orton to quite the hometown reception. After picking something off the microphone, Orton talks about how this is his hometown, but he’s not doing it for everyone here. He’s doing this for the six people right here in the front row, meaning his family. At Wrestlemania, Orton is winning his fifteenth World Title and bringing it back to St. Louis while Rhodes loses empty handed.

Rhodes gave him permission to listen to the voices and now Rhodes has no idea what is waiting for him. Orton saw him at the Garden with Stephanie McMahon on Raw and McMahon was absolutely right about what this is going to mean. Cue Rhodes for the fight and beats Orton down in the corner….but Pat McAfee comes in and kicks him low. Yes that McAfee.

The big beatdown is on, with Orton beating on Rhodes with a chair while McAfee insults the St. Louis sports teams. McAfee talks about how he said he felt WWE passed him by but Orton called him to talk about how things should be. The reality is that McAfee is sick of modern wrestling and watching 5’5 guys have an Iron Man match while RANDY ORTON is available.

There are tickets still available for Wrestlemania while Orton is on the card and we’re coming off the lowest rated Smackdown in a long time. Rhodes is leading this company in the wrong direction and at Wrestlemania, Orton is going to save it. The beating continues with McAfee confirming that he’s been the one on the phone and the villains leave as Nick Aldis and company come in.

We see them going back through the gorilla position as Rhodes is helped up. I have absolutely no idea how this is seen as their best option, as the idea is McAfee is standing up for the good old days? As in the McAfee who has been the biggest WWE cheerleader imaginable? It doesn’t make much sense and the fans really weren’t booing Orton at all (shocking in his hometown) so I have no idea what this accomplished.

Post break Orton and McAfee leave in McAfee’s truck (which is of course a Dodge Ram, which is the big logo in the middle of the ring).

Rhea Ripley vs. Michin

B-Fab is here with Michin. Ripley powers her into the corner to start and here is Jade Cargill as Ripley hits a fall away slam. Michin’s German suplex takes Ripley down and Michin hammers away as we take a break. We come back with Ripley still in trouble but she fights up with some clotheslines. The belly to back faceplant sets up a basement dropkick and a not great Razor’s Edge. The running knee gives Ripley two but Michin is back with a poisonrana. A sitout powerbomb gives Michin two but Ripley knocks her down again. The Prism Trap finishes Michin at 9:15.

Rating: C. This was WAY too much offense from Michin, as the win didn’t make Ripley feel like a big star ready to come after Cargill but rather made her look a lot weaker. At the end of the day, Michin and B-Fab have been made to look rather ineffective in recent months and Ripley should be running through either of them. I’m not sure what they were thinking here and Ripley’s finisher did look good, but this wasn’t the right way to go.

Post match the villains are in for the beatdown but Iyo Sky runs in for the save as the numbers even up a bit.

Matt Cardona is getting his wrist looked at when Aleister Black and Zelina come in. Black suggests that Cardona deserved this and a match is set for tonight.

Solo Sikoa says Uncle Howdy wants to fight for the lantern tonight but Sikoa isn’t letting the lantern out of his sight. So who is stepping up? Tama Tonga asks why they’re fighting for the lantern when it’s so much of a problem. Sikoa tells him to go face Howdy and don’t screw this up.

Rhea Ripley is glad to have Iyo Sky here because she needed backup and they are bloody unstoppable.

Tama Tonga vs. Uncle Howdy

Howdy pounds him into the corner to start but Tonga is back with some right hands and headbutts in the ropes. We take a break and come back with Tonga mocking Howdy but diving into the Mandible Claw. That’s broken up and here comes Sikoa, which is enough of a distraction for Sister Abigail to finish Tonga at 7:15.

Rating: C+. There was barely any time here and the point of the match was to further the issues between Tonga and Sikoa more than anything else. At the same time, this feud has been going on for a long time now so it’s time to wrap it up already. I’d rather they do something like this than have a huge showdown at Wrestlemania, though that might still be happening.

Post match Sikoa and Tonga argue over the lantern but Howdy gets it back.

Kit Wilson is complaining about his bad luck to Miz, who insists there is no curse. They run into R-Truth, who is insisting on how water in the hot tub in the new Judgment Day clubhouse. Wilson and Miz don’t like him because he keeps getting lucky despite never taking anything seriously. They want him to take one thing seriously….and Truth accepts their challenge for a Tag Team Title shot tonight. Granted they didn’t ask, but they’ll take it. Miz/Wilson: “Master, inspire, zone-in.”

So we…wait. Master, inspire, zone-in. In today’s “I’m an idiot”, I never before realized that spelled MIZ.

Jacob Fatu is ready for Drew McIntyre. Yes he has a criminal past, but he’s ready to get violent at Wrestlemania.

Sami Zayn talks to Nick Aldis and is ready for the US Title celebration…but Trick Williams’ music kicks him off.

Here is Williams, along with rapper Lil Yachty. Williams talks about how he brought out his own star power because he’s ready to take out the ginger at Wrestlemania. He doesn’t want any ginger ale, ginger tea or ginger snaps. For now, he wants Zayn’s pyro (which Zayn was so happy about), which goes off, but comes complete with Zayn interrupting

Zayn thinks Williams is getting a bit too excited and that he’s never been about the over the top reactions. At Wrestlemania, he’s going to humble Williams’ a**. Zayn: “I think ginger snap is pretty upset.” Williams says he’s the reason Zayn won the US Title, which brings out Carmelo Hayes to interrupt. Hayes says he and Williams have a long history and they’ll deal with that later. Zayn did something last week that Hayes didn’t like and Hayes isn’t letting Zayn get into the endzone after Hayes did the work.

The fans here want Melo instead of Zayn and he wants his rematch. Zayn says he thinks the world of Hayes, but the Wrestlemania match is set. They’ll just have to do this after Wrestlemania. Williams: “AWW COME ON GINGER ALE!” Zayn says he thinks he had Hayes beat last week but we’ll never know because Williams got involved.

The reality is Zayn has called out a bunch of people for taking advantage of things. Hayes tells Zayn to do the right thing so Zayn eventually agrees to the rematch tonight. Works for Hayes, who leaves. Williams says “Ginger Snap” could have said that a long time ago so Zayn clotheslines him to the floor. Williams continues to have so much charisma and comes off as such a star.

Solo Sikoa yells at Tama Tonga about losing the lantern but Tonga wants the team to get back to getting all the titles. Sikoa agrees and says they should finish the Wyatts and then get back to business. Tonga agrees and they seem good.

Aleister Black vs. Matt Cardona

Zelina is here with Black, who gets armdragged down. That banged up Cardona’s bad arm though and he can’t hit a backdrop. Black goes after the arm and takes over, including a legsweep to knock Cardona off the apron. We take a break and come back with Cardona fighting back, but Black escapes a double underhook….something. A neckbreaker drops Black and the Reboot gives Cardona two. Cardona manages a double underhook powerbomb for two but Black goes after the arm again. Black Mass takes Cardona out at 9:51.

Rating: C+. You’re only going to get so far with Black against an injured Cardona, as Black is treated like a much bigger star most of the time. If nothing else, Black Mass is something that can wipe out anyone and it looked good again here. I’m not sure how far Cardona is going on Smackdown but he’s fine enough in this role.

Bayley and Lyra Valkyria don’t think Charlotte and Alexa Bliss are real friends as they haven’t been through the same issues.

R-Truth talks to Johnny Gargano and Candice LeRae, who are ready to get back to normal at Stand & Deliver. The two of them leave and Damian Priest comes in to ask why R-Truth gave a random team their first title defense. R-Truth: “They’re cursed!” And he thinks Asuka did it! Priest points out that Asuka is on Raw, but R-Truth says it was the little girl with the facepaint running around. Priest: “….you mean Danhausen???” Anyway, R-Truth thinks it should be an easy title defense and Priest eventually gives in.

Drew McIntyre talks about how he had everything ready for him but then Jacob Fatu ruined it all. Fatu is just a filthy convict and he’s only here because of his family. You can’t outrun your past and next week, McIntyre is showing everyone who Fatu really is.

Charlotte/Alexa Bliss vs. Bayley/Lyra Valkyria

Valkyria takes Charlotte down to start fast but Charlotte sends her into the corner. Bliss comes in with a less than smooth tornado DDT and we take an early break. We come back with Valkyria still in trouble. A crossbody gets her out of trouble and it’s back to Bayley to take over on Charlotte.

Bayley knees her in the head and Valkyria helps knock Charlotte off the top. The top rope elbow gives Bayley two on Charlotte and it’s back to Valkyrie, who dives into the Figure Eight. Bayley breaks that up and Valkyria pulls Bliss out of the air. Nightwing is broken up though and Bliss tries the Sister Abigail. That’s blocked as well so Bliss hits her running Blockbuster to pin Valkyria at 10:30.

Rating: B-. This got better near the end and I’ll take this over another big run in and everything falling apart. The story makes sense for the titles and the division at the moment, though the title match has the potential to be quite the mess. Bayley and Valkyria still feel like underdogs, but hopefully they can do something other than just take the fall at Wrestlemania.

Post match the Irresistible Forces run in to beat down both teams.

Miz and Kit Wilson are ready for their match and Miz insists that there is no curse. Danhausen pops in with his jar of teeth, saying he’ll be at ringside with them tonight. Wilson calls him a spooky little goblin and toxic. Danhausen says he can come to the ring with them and uncurse them, which has Wilson interested. Miz isn’t having this but Danhausen disappears.

Tag Team Titles: Miz/Kit Wilson vs. Damian Priest/R-Truth

Miz and Wilson are challenging. R-Truth takes over on Wilson to start so it’s off to Miz, who gets caught in the Cena finishing sequence. Miz breaks that up and sends him outside for a running elbow from Wilson as we take a break. We come back with R-Truth escaping a Skull Crushing Finale attempt and handing it off to Priest. Everything breaks down and Priest drops Wilson on the floor.

Back in and Miz and R-Truth clothesline each other…and here is Danhausen. He gets on the apron to offer Miz a tag but Miz isn’t doing this. R-Truth however will dive over to tag Danhausen in (Priest is lost watching this) so Miz glares at him…and the referee gets cursed by mistake. Miz loads up the Skull Crushing Finale on Miz but the lights go out and Danhausen escapes. Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale on R-Truth but the referee suffers a crippling injury at two. South Of Heaven pins Miz (with the referee using his good arm to count) at 9:47.

Rating: B-. This was a case where the match itself was nothing special or even notable, but it was a lot of fun because they rolled with the joke. The Curse thing is working well and while it might not last very long (though it could), they’re getting a lot of value out of the thing. Hopefully Miz and Wilson interact with him some more, because it’s working rather well thus far.

Post match here is Cody Rhodes to take out Kit Wilson and yell about how he got dressed up to find out who Randy Orton has been talking to. It was Pat McAfee, which would be like the Third Man being Disco Inferno instead of Hulk Hogan. McAfee is a stoner, grifter and Logan Paul without muscles and he has a receipt coming and can kiss Rhodes’ a**. If you don’t like that, fire him. It sure worked out for you the last time.

He needs to be a bad guy to beat Orton but he doesn’t know if he can do that anymore. Rhodes talks about every record WWE has been setting with him on top. Yes he was wrestling Roman Reigns and John Cena but they were wrestling him too. Now the voices are talking to him, but you don’t want to hear what they’re saying. Rhodes was showing fire here but this whole story is just spiraling right now and it might need to be reset hard before Wrestlemania.

We look at Roman Reigns and CM Punk on Raw.

Wrestlemania rundown.

Classic Wrestlemania Moment: Kevin Owens vs. Steve Austin. Yeah that qualifies.

US Title: Sami Zayn vs. Carmelo Hayes

Zayn is defending and Trick Williams/Lil Yachty are at ringside. Hayes blocks an early leapfrog attempt and hits a dropkick, followed by some chops in the corner. Zayn fights up and hits a clothesline, only for Hayes to hit a springboard clothesline of his own. The Fadeaway connects for Hayes and the running flip dive to the floor takes Zayn out. Hayes comes up holding his leg though and we take a break.

We come back with Hayes’ leg banged up and Zayn hammering away in the corner. Hayes is able to get in a knockdown of his own but the First 48 is blocked. Zayn exploders him into the corner but charges into a superkick. A top rope splash gives Hayes two, only for Zayn to reverse into a rollup for two of his own. The Blue Thunder Bomb is countered and Hayes goes up, where he misses Nothing But Net. The referee checks on the bad leg…but Zayn fires off the Helluva Kick for the pin to retain at 10:55.

Rating: B-. That ending feels like a step towards Zayn going evil, which wouldn’t be the biggest surprise. He wants to go to Wrestlemania no matter what and that’s what he seems to be doing after that win. The match worked out well enough, though I’m hoping Hayes finds a way onto Wrestlemania somewhere.

Post match Yachty gets in to promise that Williams will win. Williams jumps Zayn and lays him out with the Trick Shot. The villains pose to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This is a situation where the overall rating could have been just about anything and it would have been appropriate. The thing here is there are two sides to this show: the Orton/Rhodes/McAfee stuff and everything else. For the most part, the “everything else” wasn’t exactly thrilling, but it was ok. The US Title stuff has my attention and R-Truth/Danhausen were rather funny. While some of the matches were just ok (or misguided in the opener), they were acceptable enough to a bit closer to Wrestlemania. It’s not great, but it’s ok enough.

The problem though is the show doesn’t end there. I have absolutely no idea what WWE was expecting out of the McAfee reveal/segment, but it just did not work. Orton has been cheered since the beginning of this story and…well why wouldn’t he be? Rhodes told him to go all aggressive and evil and that’s exactly what Orton has done. Orton is easy to cheer and while Rhodes has his fans, it’s really hard to get more excited about Rhodes right now. We’ve covered him as champion for a long time now and Orton would feel fresh.

Unfortunately that brings us to the issue of how we’re getting here. Unless there is some wacky double turn coming, the match at Wrestlemania could be an absolute circus. I really do not know what they are going for here and unfortunately I’m not sure I can believe WWE knows either. This was the kind of train wreck segment that really seemed to go opposite how WWE was hoping and I have no idea how to get around that situation. Not a great show overall, but the opening segment and the rest of the show are on different planets.

Results
Rhea Ripley b. Michin – Prism Trap
Uncle Howdy b. Tama Tonga – Mandible Claw
Aleister Black b. Matt Cardona – Black Mass
Charlotte/Alexa Bliss b. Bayley/Lyra Valkyria – Running Blockbuster to Valkyria
Damian Priest/R-Truth b. Kit Wilson/Miz – South Of Heaven to Miz
Sami Zayn b. Carmelo Hayes – Helluva Kick

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – March 30, 2026: Boy We’re In The Garden

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 30, 2026
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves

It’s back to the home place for WWE and that means they’re going to make things even bigger than usual. That’s not a bad thing either as this year’s Wrestlemania build has been a bit hit and miss. Hopefully something other than Roman Reigns vs. CM Punk and Brock Lesnar vs. Oba Femi gets to take off this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is Cody Rhodes to get things going. He hits the catchphrase but here is Stephanie McMahon of all people to cut him off. She talks about how she wants to talk about Randy Orton because they’re all third generation people in the wrestling business. We’re coming up on Wrestlemania and she sees Orton being all crazy. This version of Rhodes can’t beat this version of Orton and so far, Cody isn’t as good as his father.

Rhodes says he doesn’t know who Orton is because he knows everything about Orton. The reality is that Orton has done some great things and some things that are so violent that we can’t even show them around here anymore. At one point Rhodes was having to babysit Orton by making sure he was still breathing when Orton passed out in the car. With all due respect, no he isn’t his father, but Stephanie isn’t her father either.

That gets one heck of a gasp from the audience and one heck of a slap from Stephanie to Rhodes. She’s out here because she cares about him because Rhodes needs to become more like Orton if he wants to keep the title. Orton is listening to the voices in his head and someone else on top of that. Rhodes says he has two words for her, which are THANK YOU, and he leaves as Stephanie smiles. The message was good, but this felt like a way to get Stephanie on the show whether it fit or not.

IShowSpeed is in the back and demands to see Danhausen. Cue Danhausen, with Speed wanting the curse to be reversed because Speed’s week has been terrible. Danhausen will do it for ten million dollars and the rights to Speed’s streaming service, but Speed can’t do that. Instead, Adam Pearce gives Speed front row seats and introduces him to LA Knight, who will be a guest commentator for the Tag Team Title match. Danhausen doesn’t disappear because Pearce is watching.

Tag Team Titles: The Vision vs. Usos

The Usos are defending in a street fight and LA Knight is on commentary. It’s a brawl to start and the Usos send them outside to start, setting up Jey’s big dive to take them out as we take a break. We come back with the Vision in control and a bunch of weapons in the ring. Some running trashcan shots miss though and the Usos get to fight back, with a trashcan being put on Paul’s head. Stereo superkicks knock him outside and Theory is put in the trashcan for a beating with the kendo stick.

The table is loaded up and Theory gets double superplexed through it for the big crash. Paul goes over to the barricade where his mom gives him some brass knuckles. Knight goes over to go after Paul (Mr.) but IShowSpeed is pulled over with him. Speed picks up the knuckles and accidentally knocks Knight down. That sends Speed bailing as he knows he’s in trouble. Paul misses the knuckles shot and gets superkicked, with Theory getting the same. Jey spears Theory but Paul uses the knuckles to knock Jimmy out. Jey dives on Paul but Theory gets the pin and the titles at 8:53.

Rating: B-. That feels like a way to set up a six man tag for Wrestlemania and….eh I’d take it over seeing these teams fight again. The title change is a good way to go as the Vision desperately needed something good to happen and it’s not like the Usos need the titles. Nice enough match here, with the street fight aspect helping a bit.

Speed realizes he’s in trouble but stays with the Vision, who know Knight and the Usos are going to want to kill him. That would be quite the six man at Wrestlemania.

We look back at the end of last week’s show, with CM Punk getting under Roman Reigns’ skin and laughing when Reigns hurt him.

We look at CM Punk winning the WWE Title in this building at Survivor Series 2011.

WWE, Monday Night Raw, WWE Raw, Liv Morgan, Stephanie Vaquer

IMG Credit: WWE

Here is Liv Morgan for a chat. She gets right to the point by saying that Stephanie Vaquer is done at Wrestlemania. Vaquer attacked her family, including Dirty Dom, but she doesn’t have any family of her own here. Morgan is ready to fight on sight so here is Vaquer to interrupt. Vaquer kicks her down and grabs a chair but Roxanne Perez is back to jump Vaquer from behind. Oblivion onto a chair leaves Vaquer down and Morgan is rather pleased. Morgan is all but guaranteed to win the title so she doesn’t need the help, but it’s good to have Perez back.

We look back at Paul Heyman getting attacked by Seth Rollins last week, resulting in Rollins being arrested.

IShowSpeed tries to explain that he didn’t mean to help the Vision and it was an accident. Heyman comes in and says Speed is in good hands so the three of them should go to dinner. With the three of them gone, Heyman says the Usos are going to kill Speed. Adam Pearce comes in to say he needs to talk to Heyman, who didn’t get his email. Heyman leaves without finding out the message. That’s dumb for Heyman.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Lyra Valkyria/Bayley vs. Irresistible Forces

The Forces are defending. Legend throws Valkyria around to start and it’s off to Jax to crush her in the corner. Legend comes back in so Valkyria flips over her and brings Bayley in for a change. Legend knocks both of them down and it’s back to Jax to take over on Valkyria. Bayley sends Jax outside for a dive and we take a break.

We come back with Valkyria trying to get over for a tag but Jax knocks Bayley off the apron. Valkyria manages a DDT to Legend though and it’s back to Bayley for the middle rope elbow. A kick to the face cuts Bayley off though and Jax drops the big leg for two. Bayley actually breaks up the Annihilator though and hits a powerbomb, with Valkyria adding a moonsault.

Legend makes the save and everything breaks down, leaving all four of them down. Cue the Bella Twins, followed by Charlotte and Alexa Bliss, who show up to argue with them. Valkyria yells at them all so Jax shoves Valkyria into Bliss and Charlotte. Legend jumps the Bellas and drives Bayley into the apron. Back in and Jax headbutts Valkyria but Bliss comes in to jump Jax for the DQ at 10:42.

Rating: C. This has pretty clearly been building towards a multi-team match of some kind for the titles and that ending almost guarantees one is getting set up. It’s nice to have this many viable teams coming for the titles and it lets us get the Bellas title match, which absolutely has to happen. Either way, the match wasn’t great, but it served it purpose.

Post match the six non-champions knock the Forces out to the floor.

We look back at Oba Femi and Brock Lesnar in recent weeks.

Danhausen announces the Saturday Night’s Main Event will be back in the Garden on July 18. Having him be this weird backstage guy who makes the occasional announcement is the best use of Danhausen.

Here is Brock Lesnar, in fighting gear and with Paul Heyman, for a chat. Heyman says he’s here to talk about Oba Femi, with the fans seemingly being on Femi’s side. What Femi needs to learn is that a ticked off Lesnar is a different kind of beast and various people have taken some beatings over the years. Lesnar grabs the mic and calls Femi out but instead it’s Adam Pearce, with security.

Pearce says this isn’t happening tonight…and here is Femi to interrupt. Femi wrecks security, and Pearce, and takes his time walking around the ring. The fans are WAY into this as Femi gets inside for the staredown but HHH himself comes out to get between them. Lesnar goes to the floor and grabs the steps (Femi tells him to bring it) but Lesnar throws them down and leaves instead. Lesnar gives a security guard an F5 to blow off some steam. I want to see these two fight and that’s a good sign.

WWE, Monday Night Raw, WWE Raw, Judgment Day, Finn Balor, Dominik Mysterio

IMG Credit: WWE

Finn Balor talks about how he wasn’t happy with some of the things he did in the Judgment Day. Dominik Mysterio turned on him because Mysterio is a coward and a villain. He created Mysterio and now it’s time to destroy him at Wrestlemania.

WWE Raw, Monday Night Raw, Kofi Kingston, Grayson Waller, Penta

IMG Credit: WWE

Intercontinental Title: Penta vs. Kofi Kingston

Penta is defending and Grayson Waller is here with Kingston. They start fast with Kingston sending him into the corner. That’s broken up and Penta strikes away but Kingston is able to get up top. Kingston dives into a Codebreaker though and the slingshot dropkick in the corner gives Penta two. They fight out to the apron with Kingston getting in a shot to take over but calling Waller off as we take a break.

We come back with Penta fighting out of trouble and hitting a reverse Sling Blade. The SOS gives Kingston two, followed by a jumping Fameasser to send Penta outside. Waller picks Penta up but Kingston says he wants to do this on his own. Kingston’s dive over the top is cut off though and Waller drops him onto the announcers’ table. Waller leans over to mock Kingston and gets taken down by a Mexican Destroyer. Back in and Penta dives into Trouble In Paradise, leaving Kingston’s eyes bugging out. Penta is right back up with the Mexican Destroyer to retain at 10:02.

Rating: B-. These two working well together isn’t exactly a surprise and it’s a good idea to have a veteran like Kingston out there to give Penta another nice title defense. Penta is getting some momentum going as champion but I’m not sure what he’s supposed to do at Wrestlemania. He doesn’t have a big challenger right now and they’re running out of time to set one up.

Post match Penta is asked what he’s going to do with the Intercontinental Title at Wrestlemania. Penta says it’s pain for himself and anyone who dares because it’s going to be….a ladder match. Well of course it will be.

Paul Heyman is discussing a sandwich when Adam Pearce comes in. Pearce asks about Brock Lesnar, who has left the arena. That’s fine with Pearce, who asks if Heyman checked his email yet. Heyman says he hasn’t and there’s nothing overly interesting, so he’s got something to say in the ring.

Here is Heyman, who mocks the lighting guy as possibly being from New Jersey (the fans approve of the mocking) before praising the Vision for winning. He tries to give something back to the fans, like Oba Femi vs. Brock Lesnar, but here is Pearce to interrupt. Apparently the email said that all charges against Seth Rollins have been dropped, which Heyman seems to lie about knowing in advance.

Heyman isn’t worried because he’s the last manager standing from the 1980s and the last promoter standing from the 1990s. Pearce gets to the second part of the email: Rollins is medically cleared to compete (how this really changes much for Heyman isn’t clear). Cue Rollins from behind with a chair to knock Heyman down. The Stomp is loaded up…but Gunther pops up to choke Rollins out. Gunther even points at the sign (and got his eye cut up somewhere in there). That’s an interesting way to go and it’s certainly a big match for Gunther at Wrestlemania.

Post break we look at what we saw pre-break.

WWE Raw, Monday Night Raw, Raquel Rodriguez, Kabuki Warriors, Asuka, Kairi Sane, Iyo Sky

IMG Credit: WWE

Raquel Rodriguez vs. Iyo Sky

Neither get an entrance. Sky is sent into the corner to start but comes back with a quickly broken octopus. A dropkick to the knee sends Rodriguez outside but she cuts off a dive and hits a hard clothesline. Back in and Sky can’t get very far on an armbar so Rodriguez kicks her in the face. A hurricanrana sends Rodriguez into the corner though and Sky hits an Asai moonsault as we take a break.

We come back with Sky hitting a springboard missile dropkick into the running knees in the corner. Over The Moonsault hits raised knees though and Rodriguez Pounces her for two. Cue the Kabuki Warriors as Sky fights up and hits a top rope diving DDT. The running knees connect in the corner again as Asuka yells at Kairi Sane. Sky dives onto Asuka (and lands on her head for a scary crash), which she says she did for Sane. Back in and the Tejana Bomb finishes for Rodriguez at 10:28.

Rating: C+. This was another match that felt a bit tacked on to get us to something at Wrestlemania. Sky doing something against Asuka, possibly for Sane’s freedom, could be interesting, though I’m not sure where that leaves Rodriguez. The match was fine, though it never really got going.

Wrestlemania rundown, with Rey Fenix, Je’Von Evans, Rusev and JD McDonagh now in the ladder match. Also added: Finn Balor vs. Dominik Mysterio and a four way tag for the Women’s Tag Team Titles, featuring the four teams from earlier tonight.

Oh and John Cena is hosting Wrestlemania.

Adam Pearce makes Seth Rollins vs. Gunther for Wrestlemania.

Here is Roman Reigns for a chat. He soaks in some dueling chants and hits his catchphrase…but here is a ticked off CM Punk, who marches to the ring and starts the fight fast. Reigns gets the better of things by knocking Punk outside, where Adam Pearce and security are here again. Reigns loads up the powerbomb but Punk gets out and tries a GTS.

Reigns manages to spear Petey Williams but walks into the GTS. Punk teases leaving and then comes back to powerbomb Reigns through the announcers’ table. Punk sits down next to him and does the crazy laugh before mocking the Roman Reigns chants. Celebrating/posing ends the show. This was a hot angle and it’s nice to see Punk fired up, as this feud is ready to go for Wrestlemania.

Overall Rating: B-. There wasn’t much in the way of great action this week but there was more than enough build to Wrestlemania. You had a few title matches added, plus Gunther vs. Seth Rollins, which should be quit the undercard match. The Reigns vs. Punk stuff is still good and I want to see where it goes at Wrestlemania, which is a good feeling. This wasn’t a great show , though it did get some important things accomplished, which is the bigger deal.

Results
The Vision b. Usos – Brass knuckles punch to Jimmy
Irresistible Forces b. Bayley/Lyra Valkyria via DQ when Alexa Bliss interfered
Penta b. Kofi Kingston – Mexican Destroyer
Raquel Rodriguez b. Iyo Sky – Tejana Bomb

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw – March 16, 2026: They’ve Lost That Feeling

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 16, 2026
Location: Frost Bank Center, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves

It’s Steve Austin Day and odds are that isn’t going to mean much for this show. We’re about a month away from Wrestlemania and the show is needing a shot in the arm. We might get some of that this week as Brock Lesnar is here to hopefully address his Wrestlemania challenge. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The masked men storm ringside to start things off and Seth Rollins is in the ring. Rollins gets right to the point: he created the Vision and he will be the one to destroy it. He doesn’t care which member you are, but if you stand next to Paul Heyman, you are marked for death. Rollins is the one who attacked Paul Heyman and….here is Heyman, looking like he just fell out of a bus. Rollins is ready to destroy Heyman, who says he wouldn’t miss this for the world. Everyone knows that the rule is FAFO. Heyman: “FAFO. FAFO. FAF….5.”

And here is Brock Lesnar, which has Rollins’ goons surrounding him. Lesnar takes off his hat and wrecks the masked men until he’s alone with Rollins….and here is Oba Femi. Even Lesnar isn’t sure about this one and Femi stares him down. The Fall From Grace immediately plants Lesnar (Cole: “HOLY S***!”) and Femi steps on Lesnar’s chest while pointing to the Wrestlemania sign. Well that works, but DANG Femi better be ready.

We look at last week’s CM Punk showdown with the Usos, who are not happy with how Punk has been talking about Roman Reigns. Punk didn’t back down and got hit in the face for his efforts.

We look at El Grande Americano winning the AAA Rey de Reyes tournament over the weekend. You should check out AAA if you haven’t (it airs on WWE’s Youtube page) as it’s one of the better weekly series going today.

Original El Grande Americano vs. El Grande Americano

Los Americanos are here with Americano. Original hits a quick rolling Liger Kick and crabs an armbar over the top rope. The lackeys get involved for a distraction, allowing Americano to send Original into the post. Original is able to reverse a slingshot into a northern lights suplex for two and they chop it out. A suplex sends Americano over the top onto the other two and we take a break.

We come back with Original grabbing a backdrop but needing a breather. Original’s rolling kick to the head sets up some rolling German suplexes but Americano sends him to the apron. That lets Original take out Rayo and then Bravo, only for Americano to grab his weird Death Valley Driver variant for two. A big kick to the chest rocks Original again and Death Valley Driver gets two more.

Original manages a suplex into the corner and the ankle lock goes on, with Americano making the rope. The rolling Chaos Theory suplex drops Original but the referee is with Rayo. Original Cactus Clotheslines him outside, allowing Bravo to load up Americano’s mask. Original’s Swan Dive knocks himself out and Americano gets the pin at 9:55.

Rating: C+. This was a fine enough match, but dang they need to have the inevitable mask vs. mask match down in Mexico. The fans there are eating up everything these two are doing and it would be great to see them get the chance to show off on the big stage. If nothing else, it’s nice to have them getting something else rather than fall down the ladder by being themselves.

Roman Reigns arrives and runs into the Usos. Reigns says there are consequences for what you say and he grabs the camera, saying his fans should be offended by what CM Punk said. Over Wrestlemania Weekend, Punk belongs to him. He’ll catch up with the Usos later.

We look back at Judgment Day turning on Finn Balor last week.

Liv Morgan says this has been her plan since the day she joined Judgment Day. She only put up with Balor for his relationship with Dominik Mysterio and it has been a pleasure watching Balor fall from grace. It made her sick to call him family every week so they took something out of his playbook. The team is on to bigger and better things, like her beating Stephanie Vaquer for the title at Wrestlemania.

We look at Dominik Mysterio retaining the AAA Mega Title on Saturday, though he isn’t medically cleared for tonight.

The Usos talk to Roman Reigns about how he should deal with CM Punk. He’s heard the part time thing all the time but he doesn’t care because it’s about his wife and children. Reigns will get his apology later tonight.

Women’s Intercontinental Title: AJ Lee vs. Bayley

Lee is defending and gets powered into the corner to start. Some quick rollups give Lee two each but Bayley trips her down. Lee kicks her out to the floor and lets Bayley come back in, where Lee grabs a flipping armbar. Bayley gets out and sends her outside for a change as we take a break.

We come back with Lee reversing a suplex into a crossbody before also reversing the Bayley To Belly. A spinwheel kick gives Lee two and a Standing Sliced Bread drops Bayley again. The Shining Wizard is countered into a half crab but Lee gets out, only to be kneed in the face for some near falls. The Rose Plant is blocked so Bayley goes with the Bayley To Belly for two instead. They slap it out from their knees until the Shining Wizard rocks Bayley. The Black Widow is countered into a side slam but Bayley misses the top rope. Now the Black Widow goes on and Bayley taps at 10:32.

Rating: C+. This is the kind of win that does a lot of good for Lee. She isn’t likely to be around here, champion or not, for very long but she can still beat some of this generation one on one. That’s what Lee did here with a clean win over a big modern name. Bayley is absolutely set and can lose something like this without being hurt so it’s not like there is much of a downside.

JD McDonagh isn’t happy that Dominik Mysterio isn’t getting his Intercontinental Title shot but Mysterio isn’t cleared. Penta comes up and thanks Adam Pearce, who argues with McDonagh some more.

Back from a break and Becky Lynch is attacking AJ Lee in the aisle. Referees try to break it up but Lynch drops Lee with a belt shot to the head.

We look at Randy Orton turning on Cody Rhodes on Smackdown and laying him out on Smackdown.

Here is Penta for a chat before his Intercontinental Title defense. He wants to be a fighting champion because this title is for everyone. And we have a challenger.

Intercontinental Title: Penta vs. Dragon Lee

Penta is defending and we’re joined in progress with the two of them going to the mat. Lee gets up and does Penta’s strut and then dropkicks him into the corner. Penta is back with a chop of his own, followed by the slingshot dropkick to send Lee outside. Lee is able to get back up for a running flip dive, only for Penta to come back with one of his own. Back in and Penta’s high crossbody gets two and we take a break.

We come back with the two of them slugging it out until Lee manages a Styles Clash for two. A quick Penta Driver gives Penta two more but Lee kicks him out to the floor. One heck of a running flip dive knocks Penta over the announcers’ table and the fans are way into this. Back in and Operation Dragon gives Lee a very close two but Penta is right back up with the Mexican Destroyer for the pin at 11:48.

Rating: B. Yeah this worked as they did the fast paced, non-stop action match that you would want them to do. It worked very well, with that flip dive from Lee looking outstanding. This was about Penta getting in the ring and getting a nice win, with Lee getting to do his thing as well. Very entertaining match.

Post match respect is shown.

The Vision tells Paul Heyman that they’re coming for Seth Rollins but an anxious Heyman says that’s a bad idea. They need power to do what they want and that means getting the Tag Team Titles. Go do something to get the Usos’ attention. Austin Theory is off to do just that, with Logan Paul saying consider it done.

Maxxine Dupri vs. Nattie

Nattie wrestles her down with ease to start and it’s time for some choking in the ropes. Dupri gets tied in the Tree Of Woe for more choking and Nattie grabs a rear naked choke. That’s reversed into the ankle lock, followed by a kick to put Nattie down. A fisherman’s suplex lets Dupri take the straps down for a step up legdrop and a near fall. Nattie is right back with a knockdown of her own though and the Sharpshooter makes Dupri tap at 4:20.

Rating: C. This was about what you would expect from these two, as Dupri showed off her athleticism and spammed the heck out of the ankle lock. Nattie’s whole point is about proving that Dupri isn’t ready and she got so show some of that tonight. Odds are this feud isn’t over yet, which is quite the shame at the moment.

Post match Nattie says the Dungeon is alive.

Randy Orton is on the phone with someone about what he did on Friday, saying he’ll see you soon. Orton stops for an interview with Michael Cole…but he’s changed his mind and isn’t doing it. He will say this though: he had a conversation with someone who has a brain and they made him understand who and what he is. The reality is Orton is a killer and wrestling has more than one royal family.

Je’Von Evans comes up to Dragon Lee, who is banged up from his match. Kofi Kingston pops in to tell Evans to hang out with the right people. Kingston insults Lee and that’s enough for Evans to give him a no. Grayson Waller says he doesn’t get what they see in Evans, but Kingston says that’s how people feel about Waller. Cue Danhausen to say he should join the New Day because they can have curse cereal. He does the New Day Dance but gets a no, so YOU ARE CURSED, with Kingston and Waller arguing over which one got it.

Stephanie Vaquer vs. Raquel Rodriguez

Non-title and Liv Morgan is here with Rodriguez. Vaquer gets shouldered down to start so she grabs a rolling cradle for two. A big clothesline hits Vaquer and we’re already in the chinlock. That’s broken up just as fast and Vaquer escapes a powerbomb attempt. Vaquer’s running dropkick sends Rodriguez outside, where she launches Vaquer face first into the post. That leave Vaquer’s eyes bugging out as we take a break.

We come back with Vaquer being knocked to the apron, where she gets up top for a high crossbody. Vaquer starts in on the leg and hits the running knees in the corner. Rodriguez is able to block the Devil’s Kiss and a suplex cutter puts Vaquer down. The Vader Bomb elbow misses though and now the Devil’s Kiss works.

Morgan gets up for a distraction but here is Iyo Sky to go after her. Rodriguez is up with a shoulder to put Sky over the announcers’ table but Vaquer superkicks Rodriguez and throws Morgan into the timekeeper’s area. Back in and Vaquer tries a high crossbody, which is reversed into a powerslam. The Tejana Bomb is loaded up but Vaquer reverses into a rollup for the pin at 10:06.

Rating: B-. The interference got a bit messy at the end but Vaquer gets to look solid in a win on the way to Wrestlemania. It is hard to imagine Vaquer retaining the title at Wrestlemania but she needed a chance to get back in the fans’ mind. Sky wanting to destroy Morgan is an interesting side story and I like where this is going.

Lyra Valkyria tries to talk to Bayley about her Wrestlemania prospects but Bayley cuts her off. The idea is for them to do it together but the Kabuki Warriors come in, with Asuka blaming them for her recent loss. Revenge is teased. Of note: the Vision was shown in the background, talking to a woman I believe was Maxxine Dupri.

We look back at Oba Femi laying out Brock Lesnar and their Wrestlemania match is set.

The Usos run into LA Knight, who wants to take out the Vision as well. As for Roman Reigns, it’s Family business and Knight needs to mind his own business. Knight respects the idea but he doesn’t want the Bloodline coming back.

Here is Roman Reigns for a chat. Reigns hits the catchphrase and says the fans know who closes this show. The thing is Phil gets a little confused because this is Monday and this is Reigns’ show so come on out here. Punk comes out and takes his sweet time circling the ring until Reigns welcomes him to his show. Punk says Reigns keeps calling him Phil when it’s supposed to be an insult.

That’s a friends and family thing and he should call Reigns “Titi Tiaki” or whatever his real name is. Punk certainly isn’t going to call him Joe because that’s insulting to a real Samoan named Joe that he loves very much. Reigns hasn’t sent any Samoans after Punk but he has told them to do whatever they need to do. Punk shows the proof that this is his show by asking how good it feels to be alive in San Antonio.

Punk knows he has already won because he is in Reigns’ head, though the fans chanting for Reigns cuts him off a bit. Reigns says the fans are calling Punk out, with Punk saying that he called Reigns out last week because he wasn’t here. Reigns says that he’s heard the part timer thing for years and if Punk wants to know what the top stars do, go ask his wife. That’s enough for Reigns to leave, but Punk cuts him off, saying Punk decides when he leaves on this show.

Punk promises him a GTS at Wrestlemania so Reigns says he didn’t want to go here. Everyone knows Punk is great on the mic but he can’t phase Reigns, who is the most successful star Punk has ever faced. At the end of the day, the truth is Punk isn’t stronger, faster or anything than Reigns. He isn’t even as good looking as Reigns. Punk is a try hard because he’s….old.

That’s enough for Punk to hit him with a right hand so agents come out to stop him, with Reigns laughing. With a ticked off Punk being escorted out, Reigns looks into the camera and talks about making Punk snap with one word. This feud is working for the simple reason (one of many) that you can believe these two do not like each other at all. It’s making these exchanges feel genuine and it comes off like a Wrestlemania main event, which is a job well done.

The show is dedicated to Davey Coates, the international tour manager who passed away last week.

Overall Rating: C+. This show illustrated the same thing as the last few weeks of Smackdown: outside of a few things, this company doesn’t feel like it’s in Wrestlemania mode. The main event segment was great and Femi vs. Lesnar could be awesome, but a good bit of the rest of the stuff is just kind of there. Some of it is good and could be worth your time in Las Vegas, but it isn’t making me hyped for the show. They need more of a feeling that this is what matters more than anything else and I’m not sure they can make that feel effective with about a month to go.

Results
El Grande Americano b. Original El Grande Americano – Swan Dive
AJ Lee b. Bayley – Black Widow
Penta b. Dragon Lee – Mexican Destroyer
Nattie b. Maxxine Dupri – Sharpshooter
Stephanie Vaquer b. Raquel Rodriguez – Rollup

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw – March 2, 2026: A Bunch Of Masks And Cursing

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 2, 2026
Location: Gainbridge Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves

We’re officially out of big stops before Wrestlemania as we are done with Elimination Chamber and the Wrestlemania title matches are set, at least for now. That leaves us with about six weeks before Wrestlemania and we have a title match to get through here, as Penta challenges Dominik Mysterio for the Intercontinental Title. Let’s get to it.

Here is Elimination Chamber if you need a recap.

Long recap of Elimination Chamber.

Here is the Vision to get things going and Paul Heyman is not happy. Heyman says this is where someone is supposed to welcome us to the show but they are here to talk about Seth Rollins, who returned at Elimination Chamber. Rollins is the single biggest thief…and we pause for the fans to sing.

Heyman talks about how he can’t stand that song before talking about how Rollins keeps stealing the main event of Wrestlemania from people who don’t deserve it. He threatens Rollins before handing it off to Austin Theory, who says Rollins stole the victory from Logan Paul. That leaves Paul to talk about how the last person to eliminate three straight people in the Chamber was Brock Lesnar because that is the kind of company he keeps.

Paul threatens to hold the show hostage until Rollins gets out here but here are Adam Pearce and security to cut him off. Pearce says this can’t happen because Rollins isn’t cleared to compete, but here is a masked man over the barricade. Security gives chase and here’s another masked man to draw out Paul. A third masked man draws Theory away and Heyman suddenly realizes he’s all alone.

Cue another masked man, this one through the entrance, but a fifth pops up from behind and unmasks as Rollins. A Roman Reigns style chair shot to the back puts Heyman down and Rollins hits a Stomp. Cole says that was Heyman getting his a** stomped out but I’m pretty sure it was his head. Rollins leaves through the crowd and medics come in to check on Heyman, who is bleeding from the mouth.

Post break we watch what we saw before the break and Heyman is taken away in an ambulance but Jimmy Uso pops out of a car to jump Austin Theory, apparently believing that the Vision attacked Jey Uso. With Theory down, Jimmy goes to the cab of the ambulance…and LA Knight drives it away.

WWE, WWE Raw, Monday Night Raw, Dragon Lee, Gunther

IMG Credit: WWE

Gunther vs. Dragon Lee

Lee jumps him in the aisle and hits a dropkick through the ropes. Gunther is back with a great looking backdrop into the timekeeper’s area and we take a break. We come back with the match joined in progress with Gunther slowly hammering away, including going after the mask a bit. Some choking on the ropes has Lee in more trouble but he fights back with some kicks and manages to knock him outside. A dropkick connects with Gunther again but Gunther chops the heck out of him and we take a break.

We come back with Lee chopping away and hitting some running clotheslines. Gunther goes for the mask again but gets kicked in the head, allowing Lee to hit the running dropkick in the corner. Operation Dragon is countered into something like an Emerald Flosion for two and we slow back down. The powerbomb plants Lee again but Gunther picks him up at two. They head outside for an apron powerbomb and then another onto the announcers’ table, leaving Lee looking mostly done on the floor.

That’s good for an eight before Gunther tries another powerbomb, which is countered into a Code Red. Lee is back up with a suicide dive to knock Gunther over the table and Operation Dragon gets nine as Gunther beats the count. Back in and Lee actually drops him with a clothesline but Gunther pulls him into the sleeper. Gunther isn’t playing here and rips the mask off (with the camera getting a clear shot of the uncovered face) so Lee immediately taps at 12:22.

Rating: B-. Lee still being alive after those powerbombs might have been a stretch and I’m rather sick of the “rip the luchador’s mask off” finish, but they hit another gear there at one point. If you’ve got me thinking there was a chance for Lee to actually beat Gunther (even by countout), something is going right. I liked this way more than I was expecting and that is nice to see.

Asuka yells at Kairi Sane over not winning the Elimination Chamber but Sane says Asuka complimented her last week. That earns Sane even more yelling before Asuka leaves. AJ Lee comes up to check on Sane, who is almost in a trance (Lee: “Blink twice if you need anything.”) until Asuka shouts for her.

Demolition is going into the Hall Of Fame. That’s about as overdue as you can get.

WWE, Raw, Monday Night Raw, Women's Intercontinental Title, AJ Lee

IMG Credit: WWE

Here is AJ Lee for a chat. She’s back to do more than snatch the hair off of Becky Lynch’s big head. She thanks the fans for having her back and remembering her when others wanted her to be forgotten. Now she’s the Women’s Intercontinental Champion after beating Lynch and having the scars to prove it. She’s exactly who she thought she was and Wrestlemania is in front of her. We’re not waiting for then though and she’s going to be a fighting champion. She mentioned a bunch of women she wants to fight so come at her.

Earlier today, Penta ran into the Original El Grande Americano, who wished him bueno suerte. Americano wants the first shot when Penta wins the Intercontinental Title, with Penta saying cero miedo. With Penta gone, Los Americanos came in, with an argument over which of them is the real version. Apparently they’re fighting at Rey de Reyes, but Original wants to fight one of them tonight.

WWE, WWE Raw, Monday Night Raw, Liv Morgan, Stephanie Vaquer

IMG Credit: WWE

Liv Morgan talks about being ready to face Stephanie Vaquer and prove herself again. Morgan lists off her resume and is ready to take the title at Wrestlemania.

Original El Grande Americano vs. Rayo Americano

The other Americanos are here too. Grande goes after the arm to start but Rayo fights back, almost out of desperation. La majistral gives Grande two and a frustrated Rayo bails to the floor. Bravo dances a bit for a distraction but Grande knocks Rayo outside for a flip dive off the apron. Another distraction lets Rayo post Grande though and we take a break.

We come back with Grande hitting a rolling kick to the head, followed by something like a reverse Angle Slam. The ankle lock goes on but Rayo flips him into the corner. Rayo goes up top, where Grande belly to belly superplexes him back down. Grande tries for the mask so Bravo offers a distraction, allowing Americano to hit the (presumably) loaded headbutt. Rayo’s Swan Dive gets two so he goes after Grande’s mask, which has Grande fighting back. Americano’s interference doesn’t work so it’s a rolling Chaos Theory to give Grande the pin at 10:07.

Rating: B-. This whole Americanos thing is some of the goofiest stuff I’ve seen WWE do in a long time but what matters the most is hitting a big blowoff. Doing that at Rey de Reyes has me wondering just how crazy they’re going, because it could be a lot of fun. The wrestling itself is good, but put this in front of the right audience and a mask vs. mask match could be excellent.

Penta is ready to win the Intercontinental Title.

We look at Oba Femi wrecking Miz on Smackdown.

Here is Rusev on the announcers’ table to call out Femi for a fight right now. Cue Femi, who says come in here and make something happen. They go face to face and actually slug it out with Femi getting the better of things to clear Rusev out.

Bayley and Lyra Valkyria talk about having a bad run lately but Valkyria wants to make sure Bayley gets to Wrestlemania. Valkyria suggests the Women’s Intercontinental Title but Bayley says she cost Valkyria a title match already so they should both go. They get to Adam Pearce’s office but Iyo Sky is walking out at the same time.

Jimmy Uso vs. Austin Theory

Uso jumps him to start but gets dropped with a spinning right hand. Back up and Uso knocks him to the floor for the suicide dive and it’s time for the announcers’ table. A superkick puts Theory on the table but Uso has to dive on Logan Paul. Theory gets back in and the double teaming is enough for the DQ at 2:40.

Post match Jey Uso is already back to make the save, complete with crutches.

Adam Pearce is on the phone with Nick Aldis but runs into Danhausen. He has some demands, like a Hall Of Fame induction, his face on the trucks, and something about a camera boy. The paper is wet as he dropped it in a toilet so Pearce isn’t pleased. Judgment Day comes in (Pearce is off to drink) and Danhausen doesn’t know JD McDonagh’s name. They don’t like him, with Dominik Mysterio saying that no, he can’t have the Intercontinental Title. That earns Mysterio a CURSE and Mysterio is gone.

Here is Rhea Ripley, with Iyo Sky, for a chat. Ripley talks about how bad things have been for the two of them, but then everything changed on Saturday. She thanks Sky for being everything to her and getting her out of a dark place. Sky is proud of her and says she’ll be ok on Raw, while Ripley can go win the title at Wrestlemania. Ripley looks into the camera and says she’ll be at Smackdown and leaving Wrestlemania as champion.

WWE, Monday Night Raw, Raw, Penta, Dominik Mysterio, JD McDonagh, Finn Balor, Judgment Day

IMG Credit: WWE

Intercontinental Title: Penta vs. Dominik Mysterio

Mysterio, with Judgment Day, is defending. They start fast with an exchange of kicks and Penta sends him to the floor for the early running flip dive. We take a fast break and come back with Penta kicking him in the back of the head for two. Mysterio grabs an Edge-O-Matic (which I believe he has named the Mullet-O-Matic) for two and they go to the apron, where Penta gets planted with a DDT for two. Penta tries to kick back but gets sent to the floor for a big step up dive. A running crossbody sends Penta over the barricade and we take another break.

We come back with Penta kicking away in the corner, including the slingshot dropkick for two. The Backstabber out of the corner gets two more but Penta charges into a Michinoku Driver. The 619 connects but Mysterio dives into the Sacrifice. A Penta Driver gets two more and a ticked off Penta stomps away in the corner.

The charge misses into the post though and Penta has hurt his shoulder. Mysterio tells McDonagh to get the bell hammer but Balor cuts it off, saying Mysterio needs to do it himself. Penta’s big running flip dive takes Judgment Day out and the Mexican Destroyer gives us a new champion at 16:25.

Rating: B-. This was kind of a slow paced match for awhile but Penta getting the big upset win is a great thing. He’s been the kind of guy who has been around the title picture for a long time but hasn’t won anything, so it’s nice to see it actually happen. Mysterio feuding with Balor is a fine way to go, especially if he gets the title back so Balor can get a big win of his own. It’s not like Mysterio is going to lose his heat anytime soon.

We see a clip from after Elimination Chamber, where Nick Aldis had to be held back from Drew McIntyre. As a result, McIntyre is defending against Cody Rhodes this Friday on Smackdown. McIntyre came out to yell and Aldis even took his jacket off before being held back.

Here is Roman Reigns for a chat and after a break, he hits the catchphrase but gets cut off by CM Punk. He does the one finger and points out that he’s acknowledging Roman, which is all Reigns wants. Reigns brings up a tweet he sent out about Punk, who says he isn’t bothered by it because he doesn’t get mad at what people say about him on podcasts and such. Punk says he’s got to put up with Reigns’ bulls*** for seven weeks and the first stop on the Road To Wrestlemania is here in Indianapolis.

This is where the Shield debuted because Punk brought them up. Reigns: “You brought the other two. Not me.” Punk talks about how he’s under Reigns’ skin and it’s translucent because he can see right through Reigns. It’s true that Reigns hates him but what Phil is missing is that if he didn’t have the title, Reigns would be indifferent to him. Punk is back to entertain the 38-40 year old virgins who still live with their parents. Or maybe to sell some t-shirts and draw a house in Chicago. But being champion?

That’s above Punk’s pay grade because he’s a liar. Reigns says Phil has people believing that he’s a locker room leader who has some great time. Every second that Punk is b******* and moaning back there, Reigns’ cousins are telling him about it because Punk is just a punk a** b****. When Reigns wins the title, he’s putting Punk on a John Cena retirement tour. Then Punk can go down to NXT to teach these people how to do what they do and then they’ll come up to the main roster where Reigns smashes them.

Reigns goes to leave but Punk stops him, saying they have to cover some things. Punk wants to know what Reigns means by “we” because Reigns is all alone. There are no more Samoans or even a wise man because Punk took the wise man away. Reigns is the one chasing him because Punk runs things around here.

Yeah he’s hanging out with Reigns’ cousins and the reality is Reigns can’t get it done by himself. Punk doesn’t care if Reigns doesn’t love him but Reigns will respect him. That puts Reigns on the list, because he’s not just getting beaten but he’s getting buried. Then he won’t be all alone anymore, because Punk is going to bury him next to his father. Punk leaves and Reigns is not happy with how personal that just went.

This worked rather well, as it had me wondering how much of this was a story and how much was two people airing some grievances. I want to see where it’s going from here and I have no idea how the Wrestlemania match is going to go, which is one of the best feelings you can have for a match, especially one of the biggest of the year.

Overall Rating: B+. You may like where things are going for Wrestlemania or you may not. What matters is that WWE seems to have a card in mind with a month and a half to go. Right now you have the four main singles title matches and there is a good chance you can pencil in Usos vs. Vision and Rollins vs. possibly Brock Lesnar. This show did some serious work to get us there and I’ve heard worse cards. It would be nice to have Smackdown doing the same, which very well maybe the case this Friday. Raw did well this week, though there is still a long time before Wrestlemania.

Results
Gunther b. Dragon Lee – Sleeper
Original El Grande Americano b. Rayo Americano – Rolling Chaos Theory
Jimmy Uso b. Austin Theory via DQ when Logan Paul interfered
Penta b. Dominik Mysterio – Mexican Destroyer

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw – February 9, 2026: Time Marches On

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 9, 2026
Location: Rocket Mortgage Fieldhouse, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves

The road to Elimination Chamber continues here as we have some more qualifying matches for the namesake matches. That isn’t going to be enough to fill out the card though and that means we should be getting some more things being set up. The Tag Team Titles are on the line as well so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

CM Punk is in the back and AJ Lee happens to be here as well. Becky Lynch sees them and is not pleased.

We start with some less than good news: Bron Breakker has suffered an injury and undergone surgery, which will leave him out of action indefinitely.

Here is a ticked off Becky Lynch for a chat. She’s tired of the disrespect…and here is AJ Lee to interrupt. Lynch doesn’t like Lee being here to support Maxxine Dupri and insults her EYEBROWS before calling her a little chihuahua who keeps barking and ruining Lynch’s life. Lee thinks that’s a tad dramatic before going into a list of the things that she’s done to Lynch, including a bunch of defeats. Lee: “That’s water under the bridge.” Lynch: “THERE IS NO WATER AND THERE IS NO BRIDGE!!!”

Lynch starts to lose it (Lee’s eyes bugging out is hilarious) and issues a challenge for Elimination Chamber where she can spill Lee’s blood. Lee: “BECKY! I knew you liked me!” She thinks that since she beats Lynch, she should be #1 contender but that’s a big NO from Lynch. Lee: “No title, no match.” She teases leaving and Lynch begrudgingly agrees to make this a title shot. Lynch says if Lee thinks she was held down by the man before, she has no idea what this will be like. This was really good, as Lynch sold the heck out of losing it over Lee, who strung her along every step of the way.

WWE, WWE Raw, Monday Night Raw, Usos, Jimmy Uso, Jey Uso, Akira Tozawa, Otis, Alpha Academy

IMG Credit: WWE

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Alpha Academy

The Usos are defending and Tozawa knocks Jey down into an early chinlock. That’s broken up and Jey drives him into the corner so Jimmy can come in. Tozawa fights out of the corner and gets in a hurricanrana, followed by a spinning kick to the head for two. Everything breaks down and the Usos are sent to the floor, with Tozawa being thrown onto them as we take a break.

We come back with Tozawa getting in a DDT to spike Jey (who thankfully seems ok), allowing the tag off to Otis. House is quickly cleaned but the Caterpillar is cut off with a superkick. Jimmy comes back in for the double superkick. Otis runs the champs over with a double clothesline. Everything breaks down and Tozawa’s top rope backsplash gets two on Jimmy. Otis is sent shoulder first into the post before missing a charge. A double spear drops Otis and the 1D retains the titles at 10:01.

Rating: B. I was dreading this match coming in because the Academy have been nothing for so long, but at the time, it’s not like there is a better option out there right now. The Raw tag division has been nothing for a long time so having a random tag match wind up being good is a nice surprise. They desperately need some fresh teams, but that could take a long time to get going, especially given WWE’s history.

Post match respect is shown but the Usos are asked what’s next for them. Jimmy wants Jey to qualify for the Elimination Chamber and get the World Title back.

We look back at CM Punk and Roman Reigns’ face to face showdown last week, with their Wrestlemania title match being set up.

Here is Judgment Day for a chat. Liv Morgan has something to say but first, Dominik Mysterio has some flowers for her. Morgan says that’s what should be done for Valentine’s Day and he’ll get his gift from her later. She knows that whomever she faces at Wrestlemania will lose, so here is Stephanie Vaquer to interrupt.

Vaquer says Morgan talks too much and switches to Spanish, with Morgan asking for a translation. Mysterio doesn’t think he should translate but responds in Spanish on Morgan’s behalf. Morgan asks what he said, with Vaquer saying “he said he’s a little b****.” More arguing ensues and Morgan insults her in Spanish, earning Mysterio a slap from Vaquer. Morgan getting all excited over the Spanish was a great touch and this opened the door of Morgan picking Vaquer a bit wider.

Rhea Ripley, Ivy Nile and Lyra Valkyria are ready for their Elimination Chamber qualifying match.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Rhea Ripley vs. Ivy Nile vs. Lyra Valkyria

Ripley sends Nile flying to start so Valkyria is right there to get two off a small package. Back in and Nile German suplexes both of them, with everyone heading outside. Valkyria snaps off a hurricanrana and we take a break. We come back with Nile getting caught in the Tree of Woe while the other two fight on top. Nile sits up and grabs a German suplex for the Tower Of Doom.

Back up and Ripley kicks away at Nile until Valkyria gets a quick two off a rollup. A Steiner Bulldog is loaded up but Ripley drops Valkyria down for a faceplant instead. Nile German suplexes Ripley and covers Valkyria for two more. Valkyria’s DDT to Ripley gives Nile another two as this has been about stealing covers at every possibility. Ripley saves Valkyria from a seated dragon sleeper but gets knocked outside. Nightwing connects, with Ripley making the save, setting up Riptide for the pin on Valkyria at 9:30.

Rating: B. Nile got something of a standout performance here, which has not been the case for a long time. At the same time, it was nice to see Ripley getting back to what made her a star in the first place. Fun match here, with everyone trying to steal a pin and keeping things moving until the finish.

The sore Dominik Mysterio is in an Elimination Chamber qualifying match last week but also has to defend the Intercontinental Title. For now though, Mysterio has to calm Finn Balor down, but Balor wants the World Title. Mysterio thinks Balor’s window might be closed, but Balor says he’s tired of being an afterthought. He thought they were supposed to be family and leaves.

Michael Cole is in the ring to introduce CM Punk but Finn Balor interrupts and grabs the mic. Balor knows that Punk is hurt but everyone is talking about Punk vs. Roman Reigns. Balor had Punk beat and he’s tired of being pushed around. He wants Punk for the title at Elimination Chamber but here is Adam Pearce, who says we’re not doing things like this. Pearce tells Balor that the title is spoken for so forget about this or get out of here.

Cue a ticked off CM Punk, who says Balor is the first thought instead of an afterthought. Punk thinks Balor deserves a beating instead of a title shot so get off the announcers’ table and come get it. Balor wants the title on the line so Punk says let’s do it. Pearce says no, but Punk says give him the match he wants or Punk will spend the rest of the show beating Balor up around the arena. Pearce says the match is on…at Elimination Chamber, taking a lot of the air out of the arena.

With all that out of the way, Punk is ready for the scheduled interview, with Cole asking what Punk is doing by jeopardizing his Wrestlemania main event. Punk says he isn’t jeopardizing anything, because he is trying to build things up. He is trying to get one step better every day and he knows this is a risky way to go.

These people deserve this but he knows it could end anywhere in any city in front of any crowd, but he’s confident enough to know “that s*** ain’t gonna happen.” The only way Wrestlemania ends is with his hand raised and the ring announcer saying AND STILL World Heavyweight Champion, CM Punk. Good stuff here from Punk, though that match with Balor is about as dead in the water as you can get. At the same time, Punk got to show what a master of the microphone he is here, as he was basically directing the whole segment with his words.

Adam Pearce makes sure Finn Balor is out of the building but here is the Vision to interrupt him. Paul Heyman underestimated Pearce because he kept pushing Bron Breakker, who injured himself lifting and had to undergo major surgery. Pearce stands up and says he knows Breakker is one of the keys to the future of WWE (Heyman: “Agreed.”).

He wants Breakker back more than anyone but we need to focus on the now, including Austin Theory’s Elimination Chamber qualifying match. Pearce also tells the Vision to stay out of the match, and that’s a threat. Heyman: “There it is.” Logan Paul asks Pearce what he’ll do if the team interferes, but that’s a rhetorical question.

Nattie vs. Maxxine Dupri

Yes it’s officially Nattie and Dupri gets her in the ankle lock in about ten seconds. That’s broken up so Dupri knocks her outside for another ankle lock. Nattie kicks her into the steps for the break and gets in a hard posting as well. Dupri gets dropped onto the announcers’ table and pummeled down for the double countout at 1:35. If this was the big change for Nattie, it’s about exactly what I would have expected from her.

Post match Nattie gets the Sharpshooter on the table. AJ Lee runs out for the save but Becky Lynch is here to post Lee, as a person who is snapping tends to do.

LA Knight is ready to qualify for the Elimination Chamber and wants to take the chance away from Austin Theory.

Los Americanos vs. Je’Von Evans/???

Evans’ mystery partner is…the Original El Grande Americano. Well who else was it going to be? Ron Bass? Rayo jumps Evans to start and gets dropkicked for his early efforts. A springboard hurricanrana takes Bravo down as well but Evans is sent outside. That earns the Americanos a top rope double clothesline from the Original.

We take a break and come back with Original coming in to start firing off suplexes. Rayo headbutts Evans but gets kicked in the face by Original. The regular El Grande Americano shoves the Original off the top so Bravo goes up. A dive (after Original has already moved) is cuttered out of the air and Original’s top rope headbutt gets the pin at 7:45.

Rating: C+. The dive into the cutter was such awesome timing that it makes up for how dump Bravo looked for jumping in the first place, which is rather impressive. The Americano stuff is awesome, especially considering it’s totally different down in AAA. Odds are this is setting up a mask vs. mask match and it could be rather good given how talented these two really are.

Post match both Americanos try to go after the masks but neither get anywhere.

Penta, Austin Theory and LA Knight are ready for the Elimination Chamber.

We look at Gunther’s celebration last week and beatdown of Dragon Lee from last week.

Gunther is annoyed at being told he has an Elimination Chamber qualifying match last week because he already knows that. His road to Wrestlemania should have started when he beat Bill Goldberg but the result will be the same, because he’ll leave Wrestlemania as the new WWE Champion. Of note: Gunther had a very nice looking watch.

WWE, WWE Raw, Monday Night Raw, LA Knight, Penta, Austin Theory, Paul Heyman

IMG Credit: WWE

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Penta vs. Austin Theory vs. LA Knight

Paul Heyman is here with Theory, who is taken into the corner to start for the slingshot dropkick. Knight’s running knee rocks Theory again and a double clothesline puts him on the floor. Penta takes over on Knight and sends him outside, only to get dropkicked by the returning Theory. A ram into the steps has Penta in trouble and we take a break.

We come back with Knight slugging away at Theory, who gives Penta a brainbuster for two. Theory kicks Penta down for two more but Knight is back in with a running clothesline to put Theory on the floor. That means Knight can send both of them into the announcers’ table but Theory is able to trip Knight into the turnbuckle. Penta is back up with the Backstabber out of the corner to Theory, with Knight making the save.

They go up top for a Tower Of Doom to give Theory two on Knight, meaning frustration is setting in. Knight knocks Theory down and hits the top rope elbow but here is the Vision for a distraction. The Tsunami crushes Knight so Adam Pearce runs out with security to get rid of Bronson Reed. Penta gets sent onto the announcers’ table but the masked man is back with a superkick and Stomp to Theory. Back in and the BFT finishes Theory at 13:42.

Rating: B-. I’m rather over seeing triple threat qualifying matches for anything, but at least they had a good match here. Knight getting the revenge on the Vision and moving on to the Chamber is a good way for him to go, as he’s still one of the most popular stars in the company. Go with what the fans want, as Knight getting the title later this year would not be a crazy way to go.

Knight promises more for the Vision and Pearce glares at Heyman to end the show.

The show is dedicated to Jim Shank, a longstanding member of the production team who passed away earlier today.

Overall Rating: B. They had a solid show here as we shift away from the Royal Rumble to the Elimination Chamber. The qualifying matches were both good and you can see a lot of the pieces on this side coming together. I’m not wild on seeing Punk vs. Balor again, especially after how the previous match ended and what is set for Wrestlemania, but at least it should be quality. Nice show this week, and hopefully they can keep up the interest going into the pay per view.

Results
Usos b. Alpha Academy – 1D to Otis
Rhea Ripley b. Ivy Nile and Lyra Valkyria – Riptide to Valkyria
Nattie vs. Maxxine Dupri went to a double countout
Original El Grande Americano/Je’Von Evans b. Los Americanos – Top rope headbutt to Bravo
LA Knight b. Penta and Austin Theory – BFT to Theory

 

 

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