This is a show that I did not want to see. In case you didn’t notice it in my 148 different versions of complaining about the show, this was the least interested I’ve been in a pay per view since…..well since whenever TNA last had a pay per view probably. It’s almost entirely made of rematches, which can work but in this case I wasn’t interested in the matches the first time around either. This is the dark time of the year for the company but I wound up really liking the show. A lot of that was due to the lack of expectations but let’s see how well it holds up.
The pre-show match saw Cesaro/Neville/Dolph Ziggler defeating Rusev/Sheamus/King Barrett. This was ALL about Cesaro, who hit a stretch in the middle of the match where he had the fans more fired up than anyone this side of Daniel Bryan. It was fun, it was entertaining, and it was followed by two straight pinfall losses on TV the following week. This is what you’re going to get in WWE: someone starts getting over and it’s not something they want to happen so it’s time to have them lose when more people are watching. The match was really fun though and did exactly what it needed to be.
Alberto Del Rio was the surprise for the US Title Open Challenge. This was indeed a big surprise, but the more I think about it the more unsure I am. Let’s get the good out of the way first: it wasn’t Big Show or some other goon that no one wanted to see. Del Rio is fine but he’s not the most interesting guy in the world by any stretch. He’s a good choice going forward as a midcard champion and the Zeb Colter as manager addition is a nice touch. However, Del Rio has never shown the ability to make me care about him as a heel. He has the in ring abilities but the lack of charisma hurts him. I could go for another face run though.
As for the match, it was just a step ahead of a squash with Del Rio winning clean with the low superkick (there’s a drinking game with that move). This seems to send Cena away for the next few months, which might help freshen things up a little bit. The ending could have been more but it’s nice to have the ending be a clean pin. Also, Del Rio FINALLY beats Cena on his own. Well done indeed.
Next up we had the first Cell match with Roman Reigns defeating Bray Wyatt. This was a good, hard hitting match but it didn’t need to be inside the Cell. This was really just a glorified street fight that happened to be inside the big cage, which isn’t the point of a match like this. You could have just had a regular cage match or barred anyone from ringside with a threat of suspension or whatever. The story leading up to this made it fit in the Cell but the execution didn’t work.
I do like that Reigns won and ended the feud (for now, because you know they’ll get together again one day, probably on a meaningless Raw where they “renew their rivalry”). Wyatt will of course be fine because wins and losses mean nothing (so he’s Nikki with a beard) to him. It’s a good match though and about what I was expecting from these two.
New Day beat the Dudleyz in another average match. This really felt like the end of the feud and at this point that’s the best thing they can do. The Dudleyz never needed to win the titles again and it’s cool to see the New Day get a win over the most successful tag team of all time. Above all else though: this match showed how much New Day needs Woods around. It wasn’t bad or anything without him but he’s the heart and soul of the team.
Charlotte retained the Divas Title over Nikki Bella in a really well done match. Nikki has started getting some psychology down and isn’t screwing up such basic stuff. Also it was nice to see Charlotte win a big match for a change as she’s spent the last month getting beaten up and then often losing. I can live with her following the 1995 Randy Savage formula of getting destroyed and then hitting one big move to retain the title. Taking a beating is fine as long as she survives.
However, Charlotte and the rest of the newcomers (as in the women who arrived three months ago) desperately need personalities. Charlotte is Ric Flair’s daughter, Becky has red hair and great legs and Sasha is spunky. What else is there to say about these three since they’ve been in WWE? Nikki has a character (not a great one but at least it’s there) and is more interesting as a result. Let them have characters (like Paige, who is starting to get there) and there might be an actual division.
Ambrose and Reigns had a nothing segment in the back that seemed to be setting up something for the next night which didn’t really happen.
Seth Rollins retained over Kane in another lame match. What was anyone expecting here? This has been the Kane formula for nearly fifteen years now: he’s an unstoppable killing machine for weeks until he has a match where he’s just a power wrestler. I don’t know why anyone expected anything different and the match was as normal as any Kane match where he clearly had no chance to leave with the title.
Kevin Owens beat Ryback to retain the title in a short match that felt like it got cut down due to time. There’s really not much to say here because it was a Raw match that ended with Owens hitting his finisher. Ryback is probably going to drop down from the ranks soon and now we get a new challenger for Owens, which is probably good at this point.
That leaves us with the main event of Brock Lesnar vs. Undertaker. I’m not sure what to say here. They beat the heck out of each other and bled a lot, making it better than most Cell matches in recent years. The blood was such a nice touch and it really made the match feel like a war. It’s really tiring seeing people fight in something considered the most violent match in the world and never get that intense.
The idea here was that Lesnar is now the perfect fighting machine after learning from Undertaker…..but he kind of already was that in the first place. He regularly beat the tar out of anyone he fought, he made Undertaker tap and he’s an awesome amateur wrestler. I like the idea but it’s not something that holds up when you think about it for a little bit. Still though, Brock ripping up a ring and F5ing Undertaker on the exposed boards (after the hardest low blow I’ve ever seen) for the win was great stuff and made him look like an eve bigger killer than he was before.
Then the Wyatts kidnapped Undertaker to set up a Survivor Series match. That’s fine and there’s not much else to go into here, other than SHUT UP JBL! The entire time this was going on, JBL kept going on and on about how disrespectful it was to Undertaker to have a backwoods cult kidnap him, presumably to torture him or perform some ritual. Yeah Brock Lesnar can beat on him with a chair, make him bleed, crush his groin and drop him head first onto exposed boards, but the Wyatts were just rude. It was a moment that really didn’t need commentary and JBL really hurt the segment.
The more I think about this show, the less I like it. There’s a lot of good stuff on it but most of the title matches bring it down. It’s still a good show and a very nice surprise over what it was going to be, but it was really just a last stop before the company could start caring again. Hopefully they go somewhere interesting from here and this would be a good start to get there. The show wasn’t great but it was a good enough usage of three hours.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Smackdown Date: October 29, 2015
Location: Talking Stick Resort Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Rich Brennan, Booker T.
We’re coming off a good Raw and we now have a fresh #1 contender in Roman Reigns. The other big story however is Bray Wyatt kidnapping both the Undertaker and Kane in order to feast on their souls. It’s pretty clear that this is leading to a Survivor Series match but the Brothers of Destruction need partners. Let’s get to it.
We open with a narrated recap of the Wyatts’ recent actions.
The Wyatts say the spirits that fueled the Brothers of Destruction now belong to him. To celebrate the fallen sons on the day of the dead, Bray issues a challenge to any three souls brave enough to face his monsters. Fitting for a Halloween show. Rowan says he was never allowed to dress us for Halloween because it was too sinful. Harper says evil is very real and these aren’t costumes. Bray wishes his condolences to anyone who faces them and pulls out Kane’s mask. He hands it to Strowman, who promises annihilation awaits. Run.
Opening sequence.
The arena is full of Halloween decorations to give it a more festive feeling.
Here’s Reigns to open things up. Reigns has had one goal since he’s been here and that is to be the WWE World Heavyweight Champion. He’s been knocked down a lot but he’s dusted himself up and now he’s back in the fight. The only man left in front of him is Seth Rollins but here’s Kevin Owens to add himself to the mix. Owens says Reigns stole one from him on Monday. “YAY! YAY! EVERYBODY YAY! GO ROMAN!”
Monday wasn’t Reigns overcoming the odds because it was just a fluke. Roman must know that he was a second away from being powerbombed and pinned. Believe that. Reigns thinks that sounds like an excuse because it was straight skill that beat Owens. Kevin can whine Owens whine, or he can come in here right now and fight Owens fight.
Roman Reigns vs. Kevin Owens
Non-title. A quick point before we get going: as Owens came out, Brennan said they were scheduled for a match tonight. I’m so glad they actually announced that for once instead of just having a spontaneous match. It helps the show feel realistic for a change and that always helps. Reigns shoulders him out to the floor to start and scores with a neckbreaker as we take an early break. Back with Reigns putting him on the floor again but getting sent into the barricade this time around.
Owens throws him with a fall away slam for two back inside but Reigns kicks him in the face for two. See? There are moves other than clotheslines. Owens one ups him with a superkick but Roman breaks up the Cannonball with a clothesline. The threat of the Superman Punch scares Owens to the floor but he escapes a Samoan drop. Roman breaks up the swinging fisherman’s superplex (I miss that move) and Superman Punches Kevin to the floor. That’s enough for Owens and it’s a countout at 11:15.
Rating: B-. Well done here by not having Owens get pinned. You can tell when the company has flipped the switch and gone back to work because they don’t do stupid stuff like having their champions get pinned in a meaningless match. Reigns winning via countout is fine here and leaves the door open for a bigger rematch down the line. Owens looked competitive here which is all you can ask for against a main event star.
Ambrose, describing himself as ruggedly handsome, tells Renee (in a green fairy costume) to ask if he’s going to accept the Wyatts’ challenge. Of course he is because he slays monsters. He’ll be waiting to find out who is joining the ghostbusting monster squad but he’ll fight alone if he has to. Dean leaves and a ghost comes up behind Renee. It’s BOO Dallas, who promises to scare someone tonight.
Dudley Boyz vs. Ascension vs. Lucha Dragons vs. Sheamus/King Barrett
This is called Tag Team Terror which means fatal four way. New Day comes out on commentary and they now have unicorn horns. Kofi doesn’t like the four teams not wearing costumes because it means it means they don’t believe in magic. Big E.: “SHAME!” Kofi and Big E. join in on commentary as Kalisto headscissors Sheamus down. Bully and Barrett come in as New Day does their reporter voices.
The Dragons dropkick Ascension and the good guys clear the ring as we take a break. Back with Bubba yelling at New Day (Kofi: “THIS IS NOW THE HALLOWEEN SPIRIT!”) and D-Von elbowing Sheamus in the face for two. Kalisto comes in and is promptly stomped down by the pasty one (Big E.’s words), followed by a chinlock. Big E. thinks Sheamus is a carpenter because he’s hitting Kalisto like a hammer. Kofi: “YOU SEE WHAT HE DID THERE??? YOU SEE WHAT HE DID THERE???”
Off to Viktor for a spinebuster on Kalisto as Big E. tells Brennan to take notes. Konnor goes shoulder first into the post and it’s Sin Cara coming in off the hot tag. Cara’s hurricanana gets two on Konnor but everything breaks down with the Dudleyz coming in to hold Sheamus and Barrett for a double What’s Up. The Dragons get backdropped onto Ascension as Kofi and Big E. have completely taken over commentary with their nasal voices. A blind tag brings in Kalisto for a Salida Del Sol from the apron to pin Viktor at 10:32.
Rating: C. Another entertaining match with the Dragons getting a nice win. As usual though, New Day stole the show here as they jumped from their usual commentary to some hilarious comedy with the voices. Kofi’s was shockingly good and I forgot who I was listening to at times. Oh and again: the up and comers don’t get pinned. Fun match, outstanding commentary.
Lawler has an idea for a costume: write LIFE on a shirt and hand everyone lemons. Brennan: “Why not pennies?” Lawler: “You idiot.”
Ambrose can’t figure out Cesaro’s costume. Cesaro is in a suit and sunglasses but that’s just how he normally dresses. He offers to be Dean’s partner tonight but Dean insists that Cesaro swing them around so many times that their beards fly off. Cesaro: “You can be Jason Vorhees or something.” Dean: “I’ll just be me.” They leave and BOO Dallas appears again.
We recap last week’s MizTV with Tyler Breeze debuting to beat up Dolph Ziggler.
Dolph Ziggler vs. The Miz
Trick or Treat street fight, meaning the ring is surrounded by Halloween decorations, including about twenty pumpkins around the apron. Lawler says Ziggler is dressed as Nikki Sixx. Miz kicks some pumpkins around to start but Ziggler holds onto the ropes to block a catapult. As Ziggler pulls himself back in, Miz finds a plastic sword. That’s fine with Ziggler who has a kendo stick painted like candy corn.
The duel goes to Dolph and he shoves Miz’s face into a bowl of apples and water. That’s not enough as Ziggler puts a pumpkin over Miz’s head and breaks it up with a superkick. Miz has had enough of these shenanigans and starts going after the knee with a stick shot. The leg is wrapped around the post and Miz crushes it with a chair. It’s Figure Four time but Ziggler counters into a small package for the pin at 4:48.
Rating: C-. This was fine. They kept the jokes short enough that it didn’t seem corny and it was fun enough while it lasted. Ziggler pinning Miz doesn’t mean much as Miz can bounce back in no time and Ziggler is moving on to Breeze anyway. The match was fun enough and they didn’t get stupid like they so often do with these theme matches.
Ziggler is down post match so here’s Breeze to go after the knee with the kendo stick.
We recap Paige going full heel on Monday.
Paige vs. Natalya
Paige superkicks Natalya at the bell and slowly stomps her down in the corner. Natalya comes back with a quick suplex to put Paige on the floor but here’s Team Bad to say Natalya has their attention. The distraction lets Paige grab a Rampaige for the pin at 2:16.
Post match Team Bad lays Natalya out. This includes Tamina becoming the fourth person tonight to use a superkick.
Breast cancer segment from Monday.
Ryback offers to be the third partner. Dean: “Yep, you’ll do.”
Here are Del Rio and Colter with something to say. Colter calls Del Rio virtuous and is so proud to be one of the first citizens of MexAmerica. That title now represents MexAmerica and Del Rio promises to make it great by renaming it the MexAmerica Championship.
Alberto Del Rio vs. R-Truth
Non-title. Truth starts fast with the gordbuster but Alberto goes after the arm to take over. Del Rio goes up top and ties Truth in the Tree of Woe for the double stomp and the pin at 1:27. I like the move but there’s a danger of it becoming like the 619 where there are only so many realistic ways to set it up.
BOO Dallas tries to scare Mark Henry and gets punched in the face. I guess that ends the joke.
Ryback/Dean Ambrose/Cesaro vs. Wyatt Family
Bray is the odd man out here. Ryback shoulders Harper down to start and Luke’s shirt is torn. It’s off to Strowman but Ryback goes right after him with right hands to stagger the monster. A suplex doesn’t work so well but Braun easily suplexes him down. We take a break and come back with Harper getting two on Ryback off a slingshot hilo. Back to Rowan for the double fist head vice but Ryback fights up (because it was a lame hold) and grabs a quick spinebuster.
Ambrose gets the tag to give the fans something to cheer for. Dean sends Harper and Rowan to the floor for the big dive off the top but Rowan kicks him in the face (NOT a superkick for a change) for two. Dean fights up again and makes the tag off to Cesaro for your athletic freak of the night phase. Harper takes the running uppercuts and that reverse Angle Slam that needs a name.
There’s the crossface from Cesaro as everyone else fights on the floor. A suicide dive knocks Strowman against the announcers’ table and Ryback knocks him over for good measure. The crossface goes on Cesaro again but Rowan makes the save, only to get nailed by Dean. The superkick party continues with Harper kicking Dean’s head off but walking into the springboard discus uppercut. Strowman gets up for a distraction though and the discus lariat ends Cesaro at 11:48.
Rating: C+. Nice main event here as the Wyatts get to look dominant over a thrown together team. They did a good job of keeping Strowman looking like a monster again as Ryback could barely move him. It’s going to be a big deal when someone beats him if they do it right and so far that’s where we’re going. There was little doubt as to who was winning this given what the Wyatts are doing at the moment and that’s not a bad thing.
Overall Rating: C+. I had a good time with this show as you can see that the company is taking things seriously again, likely due to their perceived break being over. It’s still not must see TV or anything but at least we had a fun two hours for a change instead of the same stuff we get every week.
Results
Roman Reigns b. Kevin Owens via countout
Lucha Dragons b. Dudley Boyz, Ascension and King Barrett/Sheamus – Salida Del Sol to Viktor
Dolph Ziggler b. The Miz – Small package
Paige b. Natalya – Rampaige
Alberto Del Rio b. R-Truth – Top rope double stomp
Wyatt Family b. Cesaro/Ryback/Dean Ambrose – Discus lariat to Cesaro
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Night Raw – October 26, 2015: Something To Look Forward To
Monday Night Raw Date: October 26, 2015
Location: Valley View Casino, San Diego, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton
It’s the night after Hell in a Cell and a few things have been wrapped up. Above all, we need a new #1 contender for Rollins after he beat Kane to retain the title last night. We also need a new Director of Operations/boss because where would we be without three bosses? On top of that, we also need to find out what happened to Undertaker after he was abducted by the Wyatts last night, which is likely setting up an elimination tag at Survivor Series. There are a lot of people missing due to injuries/time off so this could be interesting. Let’s get to it.
The Authority gets us going and Stephanie talks about the legends that were made last night. Normally I would ask what she’s talking about but I’ve been advised to not drive my blood pressure up that high ever again. She introduces “the man who is simply known as the man”, Seth Rollins. Seth is all happy and celebrates with the Authority, who says he proved them right as he ran over everyone they put in front of him. Stephanie is very relieved because their reputations were on the line. That line made me cringe but it’s very clear that those reputations are the most important things in this company.
They’re proud of Rollins and he has to hug them both. HHH talks about the problem of Rollins cleaning out the roster. Starting tonight, people have to prove themselves all over again, so tonight the winners from last night are going to compete in qualifying matches. Those winners will compete in a fatal four way for the right to be defeated by Seth Rollins.
Seth thinks that’s best for business but here’s Roman Reigns to interrupt. Reigns says this has been making him feel sick (amen brother) because Rollins doesn’t belong in the WWE Hall of Fame. He’s winning tonight and then taking that title. Believe that. Stephanie: “LET THE GAMES BEGIN!” Let’s start with a game of SHUT UP STEPHANIE!
Roman Reigns vs. Kofi Kingston
Before the match, Big E. mocks Reigns’ hair and fashion sense (it hasn’t changed in three years!). Kofi says that New Day is putting the Dudleyz in the past, Woods in their hearts (“Let’s throw up a unicorn horn right now!”) and Reigns on the ground. “Just call me Harry Potter because I’m about to make some magic!” Kofi starts fast but Reigns is ready for him and grabs a neckbreaker to send Kingston outside. JBL’s hat gets knocked away and we take a break. Back with Reigns suplexing Kofi in as Big E. shouts various things.
One of the distractions work as Kofi gets in a shot from behind to take over. We hit a sleeper for a bit before a nice top rope ax handle keeps Reigns in trouble. For some reason Kofi goes to an armbar (you don’t often see bad psychology from him like that) and Reigns slams him down with his old NXT finisher (similar to the Protobomb). The corner clotheslines have Kofi in trouble a missed top rope dive makes things even worse as Reigns grabs a rollup into a powerbomb for two. Big E. gets on the apron but eats a Superman Punch, setting up a spear to give Reigns the pin at 12:49.
Rating: B-. This was a lot better than I was expecting as Kofi got in some good offense and got to control for a long time. Kofi is a great asset as he can be funny but also work a good match like this at any given moment. People often forget how great of a resume he really does have as he’s the modern day Tito Santana with all those titles. Good match here.
Miz has an audience to watch him play WWE2K16.
Stills of Del Rio returning and winning the US Title last night.
The other qualifying matches are:
Neville vs. Alberto Del Rio
Big E. vs. Dolph Ziggler
Kevin Owens vs. Cesaro
Kevin Owens vs. Cesaro
Non-title. In an inset promo, Owens says the greatest moment in WWE hasn’t happened yet because he hasn’t been Intercontinental Champion and WWE World Champion at the same time yet. I love it when people who aren’t going to be anywhere near the main event talk about wanting to be the World Champion. Even if it’s not realistic, it sounds good. Cesaro grabs a few rollups to start before sending him face first into the apron. A big delayed vertical suplex gets two on Kevin and it’s already back to the floor for a double clothesline. Both guys beat the count back in at nine and we take a break.
Back with Cesaro hitting the running uppercuts to send Owens outside to run, but Cesaro blasts him with another running uppercut. The cannonball off the apron puts Owens down again and a high cross body gets two. The Swing is countered into a DDT for two but Cesaro comes off the middle rope with a spinning uppercut. Sweet goodness that looked awesome. The referee tells Cesaro to get off the ropes, allowing Kevin to get in a superkick and the Pop Up Powerbomb for the pin at 10:23.
Rating: B-. Gah I was hoping for Cesaro to win here but I know I would have been annoyed if Owens got pinned clean. This is the logical ending but it’s a shame that Cesaro’s latest awesome run looks to be going nowhere. Good match here though as Raw is already on fire and a better show than it’s been in weeks.
Paige is in the back on the phone when Becky and Charlotte come in. She tells them to hang on for a second because everyone is interested in her after she was on Conan. Becky and Charlotte aren’t pleased but Paige promises she had nothing to do with attacking Natalya and it’s a new version of her. They do the pinky swear and things are cool for now.
Team PCB vs. Team Bella
So yeah, this revolution is another way to go with rematch after rematch. Byron says this is about being the BTB: the brand to beat. I’m going to ignore how stupid that sounds and watch Paige armdrag Nikki for two to start. Nikki forearms Charlotte off the apron and brings in Alicia, who walks right into a double dropkick from Charlotte and Paige.
The fans want Becky but get Brie taking over on Charlotte by kicking her in the leg instead. The YES Kicks are broken up by a neckbreaker and it’s finally off to Becky, who feels like she hasn’t been in a match in forever. Everything breaks down and Nikki hits the forearm and Rack Attack for the pin on Becky at 5:27.
Rating: C-. Raise your hand if this surprises you in any way. Becky is getting popular and the fans want to see her so it’s time to give the Bellas another win over them because that’s how this division works. Nikki and Brie are the chosen ones and they’re going to get wins no matter how many times we’ve seen them fight everyone or how much fire the division has been given by these new additions.
Post match Paige goes full heel and lays out Charlotte and Becky with Rampaiges before putting Charlotte in the PTO.
We see Lesnar vs. Undertaker inside the Cell. In WWE2K16 that is.
Now we get a stills package from the real match, including the post match attack by the Wyatts.
Zeb Colter quotes John Lennon’s Imagine and talks about there being no countries. Starting tonight, he and Del Rio are the only citizens of a new country like MexAmerica (uh……). Del Rio says he isn’t going to let an immigrant like Neville take away his chance to be WWE World Champion again.
Alberto Del Rio vs. Neville
Non-title again. Del Rio goes after the arm to start, sends Neville out to the floor, then cranks on another armbar back inside. You can’t say he makes things too complicated. A quick headscissors sends Alberto to the floor and we take a break. Back with Del Rio’s chinlock being broken but he settles for a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Del Rio puts on the chinlock again as JBL actually mentions being managed by Colter early in his WWE run (when Colter was known as Uncle Zebekiah).
Neville fights up again and sends Alberto to the floor for a big flip dive. The running enziguri knocks Neville off the top rope but Neville counters the armbreaker into a rollup for two. Neville tries to go up top too fast though, allowing Del Rio to crotch him into the Tree of Woe, setting up the top rope double stomp. That always looks sick and it puts Neville away at 12:08.
Rating: C-. Del Rio is still a little dull but his psychology is right there. I also like that they’re not going with just the armbreaker. That’s an established finisher for him and it’s a good thing that they’re letting him win by pinfall instead of just the submissions. Neville is getting pretty firmly into his jobber to the stars role but at least he won a match last night to keep him relevant.
Ryback/Dudley Boyz vs. King Barrett/Sheamus/Rusev
It’s a big brawl to start until we get down to D-Von dropping a headbutt on Sheamus for two. Rusev comes in and pounds D-Von into the mat before bringing Barrett in for some kicks to the ribs. Sheamus gets another turn with the forearms to the back and a chinlock. The Irish Curse doesn’t do much good as D-Von scores with a clothesline and makes the tag off to Ryback.
A BIG clothesline knocks Barrett off the apron and Bubba comes back in for a release Rock Bottom. All three of the good guys do FEED ME MORE and it’s a triple Meathook. Barrett takes What’s Up but a Sheamus distraction lets him roll D-Von up with a handful of tights for the pin at 6:13.
Rating: D. This was just there and I never got into it once. As JBL pointed out, this was the losers bracket and that’s really not something a lot of fans are going to want to see. I do like that they’re pushing the foreigners as something to be reckoned with and they actually haven’t lost a match yet, but they need to actually do something.
After another look at the ending of the show, Bray Wyatt is in the ring in his rocking chair. He talks about the twenty five years of the Undertaker and how scared people have been of him for all that time. Last night was war inside a Cell and the red horse of the apocalypse rode in. After promising to dance with Roman Reigns again later, Bray declares the demise of the Undertaker as his resurrection.
Right now Bray is feasting on the soul of the Undertaker but he needs more. He won’t stop until there is nothing left of the Undertaker and Bray has ascended to his throne. Undertaker’s soul is being destroyed bit by bit so Bray asks everyone here to bow their heads for a moment of silence. Is it that time of year again? Bray says rest in peace and here’s Kane to interrupt.
Kane gets on the apron but the rest of the Wyatts show up. Strowman comes in for the showdown but Kane actually cleans house until just Bray is left. Kane goes for a chokeslam but there are too many Wyatts. The real beatdown is on and Bray looks to the stage for Undertaker. No one comes out though and Kane is carried away like Undertaker was last night.
Post break the Wyatts drag Kane off into the shadows as Bray sings.
Big E. vs. Dolph Ziggler
Well this should pick things up a bit. Before the match, here are Tyler Breeze and Summer Rae, complete with camera view on the Titantron. Ziggler is so distracted that he tries a cross body on a power guy. That’s like lesson one of wrestling school. A dropkick works a bit better and Kofi tells Dolph to stop cheating. With Kofi proclaiming that the hips don’t like, Big E. comes back with an abdominal stretch until Ziggler Cactus Clotheslines both of them out to the floor.
Back in and Big E. runs Ziggler over for two and we take a break. Back with Breeze and Summer eating popcorn behind their velvet ropes as Big E. is still in control. Ziggler finally slips out of a slam and grabs a sleeper but Big E. sends him hard into the corner. Back to the abdominal stretch for a big but Dolph makes his comeback to silence.
A hard catapult sends Dolph into the post but Big E. goes to steal some of Summer’s beverage, allowing Ziggler to grab a Fameasser for two. Big E.’s Warrior Splash gets the same but Ziggler superkicks him back down. The running DDT is easily countered but Big E. misses a charge into the post, setting up the Zig Zag for the pin at 13:55.
Rating: C+. Obvious ending but this was entertaining enough. Again it helps when these guys get a chance to space out their matches instead of having to fly through everything in five minutes. Big E.’s power looked great here but it didn’t make sense for him to beat someone on Dolph’s level. Good surprise here.
The four way will be Reigns vs. Owens vs. Del Rio vs. Ziggler.
Ambrose reminds Reigns that he’s been this close time after time. Tonight it’s time for him to take it. Reigns says he’s got this.
It’s breast cancer time with a bunch of cancer survivors in the ring and a big chunk of the roster standing behind them. Titus O’Neil is actually doing the talking here as he goes over the basic idea of the campaign and leads the women in the Million Dollar Dance.
Miz is still playing the game, as Steve Austin for some reason. Miz wins and loads up the catchphrase but Austin’s voice comes out. Austin himself shows up and Miz says Austin’s catchphrases with a WWE2K16 theme. Austin might have been on screen for fifteen seconds and I wouldn’t be surprised if this wasn’t filmed last week.
Roman Reigns vs. Kevin Owens vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. Dolph Ziggler
Rollins is on commentary and there’s no Colter at ringside. It’s a brawl to start with all four heading outside, only to have Owens take over on Reigns. Del Rio jumps off the barricade to take Ziggler out and the champions double team Reigns back inside. Reigns fights back and clotheslines Alberto to the floor, followed by the apron boot to Owens. Del Rio gets one as well but Ziggler kicks Reigns’ head off as we take a break.
Back with Ziggler getting double teamed for a change but we get the obvious problem of who gets the pin. Del Rio gets the better of it and superkicks Owens to the floor, only to turn around and get laid out by Reigns. Ziggler comes back in for the staredown with Reigns, who Rollins points out has had a much longer rest than anyone else. The running DDT (you knew he was getting that in at some point tonight) gets two but Reigns gets the same off a Batista Bomb.
The Superman Punch connects but Del Rio knocks Reigns to the floor and steals the cover for two. I actually bought that for a second. Del Rio misses the corner enziguri and the Fameasser is good for two. You can hear Rollins having a blast with this on commentary. Reigns breaks up a Doomsday Device with a Superman Punch but Owens superkicks him down.
Del Rio and Ziggler both eat Cannonballs but Reigns adds an apron kick to Del Rio for good measure. It’s Reigns vs. Owens and the fans REALLY like this one. Owens hits a superkick but the Pop Up Powerbomb is broken up by a Superman Punch and the spear gives Roman the title shot at 15:01.
Rating: A-. Well that rocked (save for the champion getting pinned but I can live with it in this case). Reigns winning is the right call but it opens a lot of doors for Undertaker’s partners against the Wyatts. I’m hoping Reigns wins the title at Survivor Series because it seems to be a much better idea to have him win his first title ANYWHERE else but Wrestlemania and another big pay per view sounds like a great place. The fans were on fire for this and they did a good job of making it seem like anyone could win, even though Reigns was the pretty clear choice. Awesome match here and it makes a good show even better.
Reigns and Rollins stare each other down to end the show.
Overall Rating: B+. This show avoided one of WWE’s biggest problems: it stopped trying to cram so much stuff into three hours. That’s one of the things that amazes me about WWE: they have so much time to fill yet somehow they manage to overload the show almost every week. This was a good example of letting things take their time and breathe for a minute, which made for a much more entertaining show.
Combine that to actually building to a title match that people might want to see instead of Kane’s split personalities and you have a better result. I liked this a lot better than most shows and I have stuff to look forward to for once. Maybe all these people being gone is a good thing as it lets the show breathe. In a perfect world they would be back and WWE would push some of the stuff that clogs up the show to Smackdown but that’s never going to happen for reasons that I’ll never understand. Anyway, good show tonight with a MUCH better pace.
Results
Roman Reigns b. Kofi Kingston – Spear
Kevin Owens b. Cesaro – Pop Up Powerbomb
Team Bella b. Team PCB – Rack Attack to Lynch
Alberto Del Rio b. Neville – Top rope double stomp
Rusev/King Barrett/Sheamus b. Dudley Boyz/Ryback – Rollup with a handful of tights to D-Von
Dolph Ziggler b. Big E. – Zig Zag
Roman Reigns b. Dolph Ziggler, Alberto Del Rio and Kevin Owens – Spear to Owens
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Hell in a Cell 2015 Date: October 25, 2015
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield
It’s time for one of the most violent shows of the year with two matches inside the namesake structure. The other main event is Demon Kane challenging Seth Rollins for the WWE World Title but if Demon Kane loses, Corporate Kane loses his job as Director of Operations. Uh right. Let’s get to it.
Pre-Show: Cesaro/Neville/Dolph Ziggler vs. Rusev/Sheamus/King Barrett
Rematch from Raw where the bad guys won. Neville and Sheamus get things going with the big guy taking a kick to the back of the head. Off to Cesaro (who is jeered by Stardust and the Ascension from ringside) who gives Neville a platform for a corkscrew moonsault. The announcers talk about Blazing Saddles as Ziggler comes in to hammer away on Sheamus in the corner. A quick Fameasser gets two but Rusev superkicks Ziggler in the face and we take a break.
Back with Barrett cranking on Ziggler’s arms and kicking him in the chest for two. Rusev comes in to talk trash the announcers bounce back and forth between talking about the match and golf. Sheamus comes back in for one of the most intense chinlocks I’ve ever seen but Ziggler pops up for his jumping DDT. Leave it to Dolph to just get in his stuff instead of selling. Cesaro comes in for the running uppercuts and a cannonball off the apron to take Sheamus down.
There’s a running uppercut against the barricade for Rusev before Cesaro takes a lap around the ring to hit Sheamus with another uppercut. That was one heck of a run and Cesaro keeps it going by backflipping Neville onto Sheamus and Cesaro. Ziggler superkicks Barrett into the Swing and it’s the Red Arrow to put Barrett away at 11:31.
Rating: C. For Cesaro, who stole this match as well as anyone I’ve seen do in years. He had the fans totally into him and ran with it for a change, though somehow it seems that he’s considered boring. If that’s still the case, he needs to get out of WWE now because he’s never going to get a crowd more fired up than he did right there.
Oh and in case you don’t get what I meant, the match was a B-.
The opening video is about the torment everyone is about to go through, including those not in the Cell. I take it to believe that their torment will be the same, meaning the Cell changes nothing and is therefore worthless. Nice job WWE.
US Title: John Cena vs. ???
Cena is defending in this Open Challenge. The mystery opponent is…….not clear yet as we’ve got the returning Zeb Colter on a motorized scooter. He calls Cena a divider and a separator so it’s time for people of all different backgrounds to come together. Colter thinks it’s time for Cena to lose the title to someone who will do more with it than Cena ever has. That next US Champion is…….ALBERTO DEL RIO! That’s quite the surprise but more importantly, HE ISN’T THE BIG SHOW!
Cena shoulders him down to start but a hard kick to the hamstring sends the champ out to the floor. Back in and we hit the armbar as Del Rio’s psychology hasn’t slipped a bit. Alberto misses a charge though and crashes out to the floor, only to come back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and a chinlock.
Cena continues his loud spot calling until he comes back with the release fisherman’s suplex. An enziguri looks to set up the armbreaker but Cena comes back with that clothesline that he uses for his comebacks. The finishing sequence is initiated but the AA is countered into a Backstabber and the low superkick is good for the completely clean pin at 7:50.
Rating: C. Not much to the match here as we knew Cena was losing but I really like the fact that it was clean. WWE needs stars right now and Del Rio is as good of a choice as anyone due to his resume and the shock value of him coming back. It’s better to have a big name come back and win than have someone win it with a fluke. Del Rio looks legit and that’s exactly what he needed to do.
Rollins comes in to the Authority’s office and does that weird recapping events thing that he does until Kane comes in to say he’s back from suspension. He was back on Smackdown and made a match but as usual that doesn’t count. Kane and Rollins get in an argument and HHH throws Kane out.
We recap Wyatt vs. Reigns. They’ve been feuding for months as Wyatt doesn’t want Reigns to be the next face of the company for reasons that he kind of explained months ago and hasn’t brought up since. This led to a series of tag matches and then they were ready for the Cell.
Bray Wyatt vs. Roman Reigns
No seconds at ringside. Cole hypes up the fact that these are the 34th and 35th men inside the Cell. It’s been around 18 years so that’s not really all that impressive. They slug it out to start until Reigns throws Bray with a suplex. It’s quickly out to the floor for the apron boot and a ram into the cage but Bray comes back with a kendo stick to take over. Bray starts driving the tip of the stick into Reigns’ hand before putting the stick and a chair in the cage wall.
Roman gets sent through the stick but comes back by throwing Bray face first into the chair. Now since Bray used a kendo stick, Reigns has to come up with something more devastating. His choice: TWO kendo sticks and TWO tables. As is the law of the table match though, Roman sets one up and winds up going through it via a Rock Bottom from the apron.
The backsplash gets two back inside and Bray loads up another table. The fans give Reigns the Cena dueling chants but he breaks up a superplex attempt and powerbombs Bray through the table for two. Now the fans think it’s awesome. Pick a side already. Sister Abigail is countered into a fast rollup and the Superman Punch gets two more.
The fans switch to ROCKY’S COUSIN (that’s an insult?) until Reigns spears him through the ropes and through the table for a huge crash. It’s only good for two though and Bray grabs Sister Abigail for the same. Some kendo sticks are put up on the turnbuckles but Roman pulls one down and beats Wyatt with it, setting up the spear for the pin at 23:22.
Rating: B-. This is the new normal for the Cell: a long street fight that happens to be inside a big cage. This didn’t have a big moment or a big finish but it did have some good spots and was entertaining but they’re never going back to the old Cell style. It’s sad and annoying but it’s the truth. Unfortunately WWE talks about it like this big warzone and it’s just not that kind of match anymore. Good match, but the standard underwhelming Cell formula.
We recap the New Day vs. the Dudleyz. They’ve traded some wins and the Dudleyz put Woods through a table. This feud has gone on too long and it’s getting tiring.
Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Dudley Boyz
New Day is defending and Big E. brings the broken trombone for the spirit of Woods. Big E.: “Tromboner……trombonists……TROMBONE PLAYERS around the world are in mourning!” However, they promise to play the bongos on D-Von’s head and a drum on Bubba’s belly. Kofi: “LIKE A CAUCASIAN KAMALA!” D-Von shoulders Kofi down to start and Bubba knocks Kingston to the floor.
The champs have a huddle (Big E.: “TIME OUT SUCKA!”) and the announcers look at the trombone. The Dudleyz botch a backbreaker/legdrop spot and the fans boo it loudly. Big E. runs D-Von over and it’s time for the rotating stomps, followed by more dancing. The Warior Splash gets two but the champs make the mistake of trying What’s Up, allowing D-Von to kick Kofi away and make the tag.
Bubba cleans house until Kofi dropkicks both Dudleyz down. Kofi grabs the trombone and throws it to Bubba before falling down ala Eddie Guerrero. The referee teases the DQ but doesn’t go for it, only to have Big E. blast D-Von in the back with the trombone, setting up Trouble in Paradise to D-Von for the pin at 9:24.
Rating: C. And hopefully that’s that. I don’t really need to see these teams fight again for a very long time as they’ve covered almost everything they need to cover. The Dudleyz are going to be fine after putting New Day over and if they’re gone after tonight, they’ve served their purpose. I’m sure they’ll stick around and have a few more feuds but this was the right result.
We recap Nikki Bella vs. Charlotte. Nikki lost the title to Charlotte last month but Charlotte has been treated like a joke ever since while Nikki hasn’t seem to mind that she isn’t champion anymore.
Divas Title: Nikki Bella vs. Charlotte
Charlotte is defending and again no one is at ringside. Feeling out process to start with Charlotte hammering away in the corner and countering a powerbomb attempt with a hurricanrana. Some big forearms put Charlotte down and Nikki cranks on her neck with a knee in the back. Nikki backbreakers her a few times before putting on a half Liontamer of all things. Charlotte finally gets to the ropes and kicks Nikki in the face but she can’t pull off a suplex because of the back. Double knees to the back and a spinebuster keep Charlotte in trouble but trash talk is enough for her to come back with chops.
Nikki comes off the second rope but jams her knee to give Charlotte an opening. Not that it matters as Nikki is fine enough to load up a belly to back superplex, only to have Charlotte backflip off the top and send Nikki crashing down again. The Figure Eight doesn’t work because of the back though and Charlotte crashes to the floor. Nikki follows up with an Alabama Slam onto the apron (freaking OW man!) but the Rack Attack is broken up, setting up the Figure Eight to retain the title at 9:42.
Rating: B+. Yep it was good. I’m fine with Charlotte selling for most of the match as long as she doesn’t lose in the end like a squash. Nikki has gotten WAY better in recent months but it took so long to get there that she’s got a long way to go. It’s still really entertaining stuff though and I’m glad they didn’t give it back to Nikki as that’s been covered for way too long already.
Paige and Becky run out to celebrate with Paige making sure to get in first. Ignore Nikki casually rolling out of the ring and walking up the aisle holding her back instead of limping.
Reigns is in the back when Dean comes in. Ambrose congratulates him on the win and says they have something new to deal with but Reigns says they’ll do that tomorrow. That’s cool with Dean and they’re celebrating tonight. That must be setting something up for later.
We recap Kane vs. Seth Rollins. They fought for months over the summer but then Brock Lesnar broke Kane’s ankle. Kane returned and saved Rollins from Sheamus cashing in and then developed a split personality. Therefore, tonight it’s Demon Kane vs. Rollins but if Kane doesn’t win the title (or the match as it’s changed a few times), Corporate Kane loses his job as director of operations.
WWE World Title: Seth Rollins vs. Kane
Are Kane’s magical hair growing powers ever going to be addressed? Rollins is defending but Kane starts fast with a running DDT and basement dropkick. They’re on the floor in a hurry with Kane loading up the announcers’ table but Seth escapes and they get back inside. Rollins sends Kane right back to the floor and it’s a big flip dive to take the monster down. Back in again and Seth dives into an uppercut but avoids a charge in the corner and pounds away. That goes nowhere as he gets crotched on the top and kicked in the face for two.
The top rope clothesline sets up the chokeslam for two and Kane is stunned. Why he’s stunned isn’t clear as everyone kicks out of that thing but since when has logic ever stopped a wrestling match? The tombstone doesn’t work so they head outside and load up the announcers’ table again. Lawler: “The Spanish announce table is right over there!” Rollins escapes another chokes attempt and powerbombs Kane onto the Spanish table. The count almost beats Kane but he gets back in, only to take some kicks to the head and one heck of a frog splash for two. Another chokeslam is countered and the Pedigree retains clean at 14:36.
Rating: C-. This wasn’t the worst but above all else THANK GOODNESS they didn’t set up a rematch. It’s another example of “hey let’s set Kane up as this unstoppable monster!” and then he just loses the title match because he’s Kane, he’ll be fifty the year after next, and no one buys it at this point.
The pre-show panel chats for a bit. Renee has changed outfits for some reason.
Intercontinental Title: Ryback vs. Kevin Owens
Owens is defending after taking the title from Ryback last month. Ryback ax handles him in the chest to start and shrugs off Owens’ offense. Back in and Owens gets in a shot to the ribs to take over, followed by the backsplash for two. The Cannonball is countered into a spinebuster and the fans just do not like Ryback. Owens avoids the Meathook but walks into a powerbomb for two. Ryback goes up top but gets shoved out to the floor, only to come back in for the Meathook. They fight over by the ropes and it looks like Owens gets in another thumb to the eye, setting up the Pop Up Powerbomb (minus any power) to retain at 5:34.
Rating: D+. I’m thinking time hurt this one a lot but they weren’t going to have anything great no matter what they did. This was the most obvious result of the night and there wasn’t a lot of interest going into it. Ryback can go off to do something else now and Owens needs a new opponent. Not a horrible match but it could have been on any given Raw.
We look back at Del Rio winning the title tonight.
Recap of Lesnar vs. Undertaker from Summerslam where Undertaker tapped but won by knockout after hitting Lesnar low and putting him in Hell’s Gate. Tonight is the final showdown (allegedly) inside the Cell.
Brock Lesnar vs. Undertaker
They stare each other down before the bell and Undertaker gives him the throat slit. The fans are split on this one and it feels like a main event. They slug it out as you would expect with Undertaker over off a clothesline. Undertaker blocks some suplexes and Brock is sent to the floor. Brock tries an F5 on the floor for some reason and Undertaker sends him into the post, drawing a nice cut on the head.
Back inside with a chair included but Brock grabs a spinebuster to get a breather. And now let’s stop for a doctor INSIDE THE CELL. Why even have the thing at this point? A lot of the blood is wiped away and Lesnar beats away on Undertaker with the chair, including a shot to the arm that impresses the announcers far too much. Undertaker suplexes him on the floor but now he’s busted open as well.
Back in and Undertaker drives Brock’s throat onto the top of a chair for two. A suplex out of nowhere sends Undertaker flying and Brock follows up with two more. The F5 is good for a near fall and let’s get that doctor in there to check on the cuts. At least they let them do the high spots first. Thankfully Lesnar throws the doctor away and hits a second F5 for another near fall. Some steps to the head get two more and Cole says we’re all in shock. No Cole, we’re not.
Lesnar picks up the steps, poses with them until Undertaker can raise his feet, and then slams them onto said feet so Undertaker can kick the steps back into his face. Hell’s Gate goes on (Heyman: “NO!!!!!”) but Brock punches his way out. Brock erupts on Undertaker with lefts and rights….and then he rips the mat apart.
Undertaker sits up though and it’s a chokeslam onto the exposed boards. The Tombstone onto the boards (work with me here) gets two and Undertaker gets in his awesome shocked look. Undertaker does the throat slit but Brock hits one of the hardest low blows I’ve ever seen, followed by the F5 onto the boards for the pin at 18:10.
Rating: A-. Now that felt like a Cell match. I know it’s an easy answer but that blood really does add a lot. It makes them feel like they’re actually having a violent battle instead of a street fight that happens to be inside a big cage. In other words, it makes it feel special. This wasn’t as good or violent as their first Cell match but thirteen years will do that to you. Oh and how much better was this with three suplexes instead of like fifteen? That helped so much.
The announcers treat this as WAY bigger of a deal than it is considering we saw it before. JBL talks about how Undertaker might be the best of all time and we get the big emotional situp with a THANK YOU TAKER chant. The only thing I can think of to say: oh shut up. He’s lost this exact same match before and this one really means nothing, especially after the Streak was broken. If it’s his retirement match then fine (it’s not) but stop treating this like anything more than a really good match.
Undertaker stands up…..and we’ve got Wyatts. Undertaker tries to get ready to fight but it’s an easy beatdown. JBL will not SHUT UP during the whole thing about a lack of honor or some nonsense like that as the Wyatts take Undertaker away to end the show.
Overall Rating: B+. So much of that is due to the low expectations coming in but this was a heck of a show. The worst match is five minutes long and the main event was a great surprise. Unfortunately WWE has no idea how to do TV right now but their pay per views rock. In other words: it’s great when they’re finally able to settle down for a change and not waste everyone’s time with stupid build that completely misses the point. Get the TV better to set up these great shows and the company is on fire again. Until then though, just wait for the big shows because it’s all you’re getting.
Results
Alberto Del Rio b. John Cena – Superkick
Roman Reigns b. Bray Wyatt – Spear
New Day b. Dudley Boyz – Trouble in Paradise to D-Von
Charlotte b. Nikki Bella – Figure Eight
Seth Rollins b. Kane – Pedigree
Kevin Owens b. Ryback – Pop Up Powerbomb
Brock Lesnar b. Undertaker – F5
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
What am I supposed to say about this show? It’s been one of the least interesting builds to a pay per view that I’ve seen in years and I haven’t seen many people who think otherwise. The matches are ranging from “we don’t need to build this” to “they’ve been feuding for a long time so let’s just have them feud more” to “it’s a pay per view with a major main event so let’s burn this off here.” Maybe I’ll find something to get excited about but I’m not there yet. Let’s get to it.
The pre-show match is a replacement due to Orton being injured again, though to be fair it’s been a pretty long time since his shoulders acted up. Instead of the match that’s only been kind of built up, we’re getting a rematch from a match that wasn’t great in the first place but it’s a way to let the writers do the same idea twice in a week so they don’t have to think of anything new.
The new match is Cesaro/Neville/Ziggler vs. Sheamus/Rusev/King Barrett in a match that changed on Thursday after the debut of Tyler Breeze. I know the most common (not common sense that is) booking would be to have the good guys get their win back here and set up the fabled rubber match on Raw, but I’m thinking instead they go with the heels winning here as Ziggler already has business with someone else. Maybe Breeze even interferes like he should in a well booked promotion. Either way, heels win for my pick that has little chance of being right.
We’ll start the actual show with the most obvious ending: Kevin Owens retains over Ryback. This was more interesting before Ryback got pinned clean in four minutes on Monday but since the writers think they have about fifteen male wrestlers, we had to sacrifice the Intercontinental Title match to help rebuild the World Champion. This wouldn’t be a problem but Rollins has been destroyed in recent weeks and needed the help. This was because
1. The writers don’t know how to book a heel champion.
2. How else was Kane going to look strong because Big Show had recently squashed every normal piece of cannon fodder to set up a house show match no one believed he had a prayer of winning?
So yeah Owens retains and there’s no real reason to believe otherwise.
New Day retains over the Dudleyz in another rematch (that’s three in a row for those of you counting). If they didn’t change the titles in New York, there’s no real reason to change them anywhere else. I’m hoping this is the end of the feud and that they don’t try to stretch it all the way out to a tables match somewhere. New Day can entertain against anyone and the Dudleyz can put over team after team without losing their credibility. There’s no need to continue the feud so hopefully they wrap it up here.
Now we have a match that could go either way with the Divas Title match (rematch #4). Nikki was never really broken down after losing the title because holding the record seems far more important to her than actually being the champion. Charlotte on the other hand has had trouble beating Brie Bella, even losing to her in a tag match recently. Either way it seems that the winner will just be keeping the title warm for Sasha Banks, so the question comes down to does WWE want Nikki to bore us to death against Banks or do they want a rematch of the Charlotte vs. Sasha classic? All hail the new champ.
Next up is the US Title Open Challenge, which may or may not be a rematch. Cena is pretty clearly losing here so the question is who gets the belt. There are multiple options in this case, ranging from the newly debuted Tyler Breeze to perhaps a newcomer debuting to the now free Dean Ambrose. While I think they’ll go with Ambrose, that leaves the issue of how does Ambrose put Cena on the shelf for a few months? I can’t imagine Cena is just going to lose and say “see you in two months” so he needs someone to injure him.
Unfortunately, I think that leads us to Big Show. He’s still fresh (as fresh as you can be nearly seventeen years after debuting) off the Lesnar feud and WWE is the kind of company that would rather make him a transitional champion, believing that he gets the win over Cena and whoever beats him inherits the momentum, even though that doesn’t work because it’s freaking Big Show. That’s my pick, though it’s probably going to be Ambrose.
That leaves us with the three main events and we’ll start with the least important: the WWE World Heavyweight Championship (rematch #5). The idea here is that Kane has multiple personalities and if his Demon side can’t beat Seth Rollins for the title, his Corporate side loses his job as head lackey to the Authority. At the same time though, Rollins continues his eternal quest to impress the Authority because this show exists to make them look important. Oh and of course Kane pinned the champ on Raw to make us believe that they might put the title on the 48 year old who hasn’t been interesting in years.
Of course Rollins retains as that old “who cares if he loses all the time if he still has the belt” mindset shines through again. I know we’re still setting up Rollins vs. HHH (which has been coming for months now) but could they try to give us something good along the way? This is the match that they spent months setting up in the summer and we’re finally getting it here because the REAL main event is carrying the show, meaning there’s no need to put in effort on this match because we’re lucky that way.
I don’t think they want to get rid of Sheamus’ briefcase yet (oh lucky us) so Rollins retains, though I’m sure there’s going to be some wacky shenanigans that mean Kane gets to keep his job (probably after a thorough performance evaluation or whatever they call it this time). It’s probably a DQ or a countout because that way Kane wins the match and we can ignore the whole “if Kane doesn’t win the title he’s fired” stipulation because of whatever reason the Authority has this time. Rollins retains but doesn’t win, meaning we get a rematch at Survivor Series and probably TLC because we’re just that lucky.
Then we have the match with the biggest build as Bray Wyatt and Roman Reigns get inside the Cell for rematch #6. This is another bad feud as they started fighting back in June and are still after each other today. Bray won at Battleground with Harper’s help and they’ve traded tag wins ever since. Therefore, it’s clear that it’s time to go inside the Cell. I mean, a regular cage or something else is out of the question because it’s October so what else can they really do? This should be a fun brawl but we’ll be waiting around for the interference that everyone knows is coming.
I think I’ll go with Roman here, though Bray needs the win a lot more than he does. Neither guy has done anything significant since Wrestlemania but at least Reigns was a big deal at the beginning of the year. Wyatt has his full minions (well once Harper is back from his “personal issues”, which I assure you have nothing to do with that photo that I’m sure you’ve all seen.) now and is probably going to lose anyway, which will (or at least should) set up a Survivor Series elimination match so they can continue the feud past the advertised ending. Like they almost always do.
Speaking of the end, we have what is billed as the final showdown between Lesnar and Undertaker and I can’t be more thankful. Oh and rematch #7 to complete the field of matches that we actually know about. The match at Summerslam was fun but it’s the same story as the Wrestlemania match with Lesnar vs. HHH: yeah it was good but I don’t need to see them again this fast. It doesn’t help that neither guy seems interested in selling the match. Brock has appeared twice, Undertaker once in recent weeks. Their showdown on Monday was “yeah we’re going to fight on Sunday” and that’s about it.
I’ll take what should be the obvious winner with Lesnar, but don’t be surprised if they have some sort of wacky ending and set up one FINAL (as in final final, not prelude final) match at Wrestlemania to send Undertaker out. The drama and violence should be good but it’s a match where they’re having to drag me into it and I don’t really care what happens.
What a horrible looking show. I can’t remember the last time I was less interested in a pay per view than this as WWE hasn’t given me a single thing to get excited about. Save for the Cena match, everything is a match we’ve seen recently. That’s how you book a house show and we’re getting it as a regular pay per view. They need to figure out something new and do it in a hurry because this is one of the worst times I can remember for creative in a long time and the ratings are backing that up.
I don’t know of anyone excited for this show and it’s only going to get worse as the company throws its feet on the desk and say “eh no one is going to watch because of football anyway so we’re on vacation.” I know people aren’t going to watch but at least pretend like you care what’s going on and don’t give us a blend of the last two pay per views you put together and expect us to be entertained.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Smackdown – October 22, 2015: Prince Pretty’s Here
Smackdown Date: October 22, 2015
Location: Frank Erwin Center, Austin, Texas
Commentators: Booker T., Jerry Lawler, Rich Brennan
It’s the final show before Hell in a Cell and we might get some build towards the World Title match after it got little more than lip service on Monday. Aside from that I’d assume we’re in for a lot of video packages on the other big matches and maybe another cryptic promo from Bray, possibly including the prophecy he was supposed to give on Monday. Let’s get to it.
We open with Seth Rollins walking through the back when he runs into Kane. That would be Corporate Kane, not Demon Kane, Harlem Heat Kane or Kane the Undertaker. Kane has a match for him tonight and threatens violence if Rollins tries to run again. Rollins leaves and Kane finds Kofi and Big E., both of whom have XW bands on their arm. Those dastardly Dudleyz put Woods through a table on Monday and now there are just two unicorns. Kofi: “What do you see in front of you right now?” Kane: “Men with fingers on their heads.” Kane plays a tiny trombone for them and makes the two of them vs. Ambrose/Reigns for later.
Seth Rollins vs. Cesaro
Non-title. Cesaro takes him to the mat and rides the champ before gutwrenching him for two. Seth bails to the floor and we see Stardust and Ascension in the Stardust Section again. The champ grabs his belt and thinks about leaving but changes his mind and goes back inside for the running uppercuts instead. Another bailout attempt is broken up by Cesaro but Seth sends him into the steps as we take a break.
Back with Seth getting two off the springboard knee to the head. It doesn’t seem to have much effect though as Cesaro dropkicks him off the top and out to the floor, followed by the running uppercut against the barricade. Back in and Seth’s enziguri sets up the low superkick for two, only to charge into Swiss Death. The Crossface doesn’t last long and Rollins breaks up the apron superplex, followed by the Pedigree for the pin at 10:35.
Rating: C+. This was the entertaining match you would expect from these two when they’re given a bit of time. Cesaro loses of course because that’s all he knows how to do these days. The big thing I took away from this though was the Pedigree is so out of character for Rollins. He’s a high flying striker and the Pedigree really doesn’t fit that style. I know it’s going to be part of the HHH vs. Rollins feud, which is still going to start any day now right? Like any day.
The Stardust Section mocks Cesaro.
Miz promises that MizTV will be awesome, unlike Renee’s hair.
Breast cancer time.
Here’s Paige to address trying to reform PCB and being accused of attacking Natalya last week. Paige says she only cares about what Charlotte and Becky think of her so she’d like them to come out here for her explanation. Becky doesn’t care to hear it but Paige talks about being happy when the two of them made it to the main roster. That’s all well and good, but Becky doesn’t believe it after everything Paige has said and done.
Charlotte says she’s going to talk now. Paige had her moment over a year ago and all Charlotte wanted was her own moment to share with the two of them. It’s clear that Paige doesn’t respect Charlotte because it’s not all about Paige for once. Cue the Bellas with Nikki talking about her record and Brie saying this feels like Pretty Little Liars. Charlotte wants a fight but Paige says Nikki has to fight her first. Nikki accepts because she’s fearless or whatever.
Nikki Bella vs. Paige
Lawler says Paige has made it all about herself again as Nikki takes over with a facebuster to start. Booker brings up winning the TV Title and how it messed up Harlem Heat. I’m sure Stevie being out for five months had nothing to do with it either. Nikki sends Paige shoulder first into the post and we take an early break. Back the bad arm going around the post again as Booker thinks Nikki knows about pressure points.
Nikki mocks THIS IS MY HOUSE before slamming Paige down on the arm. Paige comes right back with a superkick for two but walks into a spinebuster for the same. The Rack Attack is broken up and Paige gets two off a fall away slam. Brie: “STAY FEARLESS!” We get what looked like a quick edit to get to an Alabama Slam from Nikki for another two. Nikki finally drills her with the forearm and the Rack Attack is good for the pin at 11:20.
Rating: B-. I’m no fan of the Bellas but this was actually good. They were trading big moves and it worked really well all things considered. It’s amazing how much more entertaining these women are when they cut out all the stupid cattiness and just beat each other up. I’m really hoping they don’t put the belt back on Nikki but this was one of her best matches to date.
It’s time for MizTV with guests Dolph Ziggler and Summer Rae, with Dolph coming out after a long recap of the story since Lana and Rusev’s engagement was announced. Miz brings up Ziggler being tossed aside by TMZ of all places despite having more relationships than almost anyone in WWE. Lana is a grown woman who can do whatever she wants and Summer was just trying to use Dolph (“Which I’m usually into”) but he wants nothing to do with it. Miz isn’t convinced so here’s Summer to make it more interesting.
She gets right to the point and suggests that she wants to propose to Dolph. Dolph: “I’m just not that into you bro.” Actually that’s not what she meant because she’s found a new man: Tyler Breeze, complete with NXT theme and entrance. After a quick NXT chant, Breeze says he needs no introduction but Dolph needs someone to bring him beyond 1985.
Tyler has been hearing of Dolph treating his Summer Rae of sunshine so poorly so he flew in from Monte Carlo. Ziggler calls him a whiny millennial but Breeze decks him (and rightfully so. That’s quite the insult.) and drives the still injured throat (still injured? It is?) into the buckle. Referees help Ziggler up so Breeze adds a Beauty Shot before posing for a picture with Summer.
Sheamus/King Barrett vs. Lucha Dragons
Rusev is at ringside. Cara starts with Barrett and kicks him to the mat before monkey flipping Kalisto into a 450 for two. That was cool. It’s back to Cara who gets shoved off the ropes and grabs his knee. The knee is fine enough for Sheamus to throw him into the barricade though and a powerslam gets two. Barrett’s pumphandle slam is broken up and Cara scores with an enziguri, allowing the tag off to Kalisto. A quick hurricanrana driver plants Sheamus but Rusev pushes Barrett out of the way of a suicide dive. Kalisto dives onto Barrett but the distraction sets up the Brogue Kick for the pin at 4:17.
Rating: C. There’s always room for a foreign heel stable. It’s like Jello. Besides it’s not like most of them are doing anything else so why not throw them together? It worked for Road Dogg and Billy Gunn so maybe it works here too. Good enough match here and it makes the monsters look good before they lose on Sunday for the sake of setting up a rubber match that no one wants to see.
Clip from Raw of Reigns and Ambrose cleaning house of the Wyatts.
Here’s Bo Dallas with something to say. He accepts the US Open Challenge for he and his fellow Bo-Mericans. His version of Bo say can you see is interrupted and it’s time for a match.
Ryback vs. Bo Dallas
Ryback throws him around to start but gets his throat snapped across the top rope as we see Owens watching in the back. Not that it matters as the Meat Hook and Shell Shock end this at 1:39. Nice job of rebuilding Ryback after the totally unnecessary loss on Monday.
Owens says Ryback is a lot of things Owens isn’t, including champion. Renee takes this as Owens being arrogant but Owens thinks it means he’s better than Ryback. This Sunday it’s the Kevin Owens show and he’s walking out Intercontinental Champion. Trust him.
Long video on Lesnar vs. Undertaker, which Booker compares to Ali vs. Frazier.
Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose vs. New Day
Non-title. Eden introduces this as a tag team match which will probably get her in hot water backstage. No Woods here due to being put through a table on Raw. It’s been far too long since someone was off TV to sell a short term injury like this. A loud NEW DAY ROCKS opens things up as Kofi does the unicorns pose. Ambrose headlocks Kofi to start and brings in Reigns for the jumping clothesline.
Big E. comes in for the hip swiveling and a shoulder to put Roman down. Reigns gets driven into the barricade and it’s time for a break. Back with Reigns breaking out of an abdominal stretch and making the tag off to Dean for some right hands. A quick Kofi trip puts New Day back in control though and it’s time for the rotating stomps. Big E. sounds like he’s on a microphone as he shouts encouragement.
Kofi loads up the Boom Drop, shouts HOPSCOTCH, does a little hopping, and lands on Dean for two. Ambrose makes the quick tag and it’s off to Roman to clean house. There’s an apron boot to Big E. and another one on the announcers’ table to Kofi. Ambrose comes back in with a missile dropkick to Big E. and the champs bail, only to run into the Dudleyz. Back in and Big E. takes a Doomsday Device, followed by a Superman Punch to Kofi. The spear puts Kingston away at 12:07.
Rating: C-. It’s really kind of amazing how much less entertaining the New Day is without Woods out there. They’re just a basic power and speed team and the HOPSCOTCH thing wasn’t enough to get me really into the match. Woods is the heart and soul of the team and I never would have guessed that when they got together in the first place.
Bray pops up on screen and says Roman can’t outrun his fear.
Overall Rating: D+. Totally standard go home episode of Smackdown as they’ve found the safest formula they can come up with and aren’t moving away from it until USA drags them to a new night. It was another two hours that came and went with the Divas match actually being the highlight of the show. Smackdown continues to be the definition of “just there” and I’m getting more and more indifferent to it every single week.
Results
Seth Rollins b. Cesaro – Pedigree
Nikki Bella b. Charlotte – Rack Attack
Sheamus/King Barrett b. Lucha Dragons – Brogue Kick to Kalisto
Ryback b. Bo Dallas – Shell Shock
Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose b. New Day – Spear to Kingston
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Smackdown – October 15, 2015: The Weekly House Show
Smackdown Date: October 15, 2015
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Rich Brennan, Jerry Lawler, Booker T.
Somehow we’re ten days away from Hell in a Cell and it’s time to put the finishing touches on the build. The announced main event for tonight is hometown boy Dean Ambrose teaming up with the Dudleyz to fight New Day in a bit of a preview for the pay per view. We might even get more speculation of what Cena is going to do there as well. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Roman Reigns vs. Bo Dallas
Before the match, Bo talks about Reigns going to a scary place at the pay per view. Dallas knows all about scary places because he went to Suplex City, but he actually survived it unlike Reigns. Dallas actually takes him into the corner to start but Reigns drops him with a neckbreaker. A middle rope clothesline to the back of the head gives Bo an opening, only to have Reigns come back with even more clotheslines of his own. Dallas wants time and Reigns stops to smile, only to get annoyed when he takes a kick to the ribs. Now the Samoan drop connects and the two moves end Dallas at 2:58.
Roman talks about Bray referring to himself as the devil. He can get behind that idea because he sees the pure evil in Bray’s eyes. Roman is going to bring the big fight because it’s the only way to stop the devil. Cue Bray, who says Reigns’ sins will be his undoing. It is the sin of pride that will bring Reigns down because he isn’t Bray’s muse. On Monday, Bray is going to deliver a prophecy to Reigns. Anyone but you.
Cesaro/Neville vs. Sheamus/King Barrett
Rematch from Raw because the writers already came up with their idea for the week. Ascension and Stardust are sitting in the crowd with a STARDUST SECTION sign. Barrett and Neville get things going with Neville starting his kicking regimen early. Sheamus comes in and eventually gets hurricanranaed out to the floor, allowing Cesaro to backdrop his partner over the top and onto the villains in a nice visual.
The referee tells them that they’re about to go to a break so we come back with Barrett putting his knee into Neville’s back and cranking on the arms. Sheamus stands between Neville and the corner like a good bully before planting him with a slam. We hit the chinlock from Barrett for a bit before he misses a running boot in the corner. Cesaro gets the tag and fires off the running uppercuts to Sheamus for two. The briefcase is brought in and the distraction lets Barrett get in a Bull Hammer to give Sheamus the pin at 10:10. Stardust and Ascension never got involved.
Rating: C-. This match is a good example of everything wrong with Smackdown. Not only have we already seen it on Raw with the same result but it’s a match with no energy. I know it makes for a dull match but can you blame them? None of the matches on this show mean anything and Cesaro isn’t going to get a major push because the boss doesn’t care for him, so why should they try in a tag match that they’ve already done before? That’s the nature of Smackdown these days and it has been for a very long time. If the wrestlers don’t care, I don’t get why I should either. At least Barrett/Sheamus have potential as a team.
Summer, guest referee for Ziggler vs. Rusev later tonight, says she’s put men down before and is willing to do it again if she has to.
Earlier today, Ambrose unloaded his bag, which included a Slammy, a slinky, a balloon animal, a magic 8-ball…..but no Payday. Oh never mind as it fell out of his bowling ball. I hate the fact that I chuckled at this.
Kevin Owens vs. Zack Ryder
Non-title and Ryback is at ringside. Owens shrugs off an early flurry and stomps Ryder down. A quick missile dropkick doesn’t have much staying power for Ryder as Owens hits a Meathook, shouts FINISH IT and plants Ryder with the Pop Up Powerbomb for the pin at 1:39. Total squash but effective.
Recap of Rollins and Kane on Monday. That would be another loss for the champ, which of course has nothing to do with the ratings plunging.
Paige stops Natalya in the back to offer an apology for her attitude as of late. The pressure got to her and she couldn’t handle Natalya trying to take her place on Team PCB. Paige wants to make it right and just wants to be Natalya’s friend again. Natalya says this is a start and leaves.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Rusev
Summer Rae is guest referee and Dolph doesn’t seem to mind when she takes her hair down. Rusev stomps Ziggler in the corner to start as Booker confuses Sherri Martel for his wife Sharmell. Ziggler gets knocked off the apron and into the barricade for a nice crash. Back in and Rusev charges into an elbow, followed by an elbow for a fast two. We get a Danny Davis reference, followed by Dolph’s superkick being countered into a catapult into the corner. Rusev’s jumping superkick gets the slow count required in a match like this, followed by a slap to knock Rusev into the Zig Zag for the pin at 4:26.
Rating: D+. This was every Rusev vs. Ziggler match you’ve ever seen plus every lame guest referee trope in the book. They’re running out of places to go with this story so instead, why not just do the exact same things over and over again and expect a different result? This was nothing interesting aside from Summer’s outfit. I’m curious to see how Lana will be received upon her return as she’ll be booed, but I’m not sure how the fans are going to respond to her being stupid for going back to Rusev instead of the normal reasons they booed her.
Post match Summer suggests she and Dolph get back together but Dolph isn’t playing those kind of games.
The Dudleyz say they have chemistry with Dean Ambrose. They’re already the best team ever and Dean is combustible. Bubba tells Renee to touch Dean’s arm. Bubba: “BOOM!” Dean says Dudleyville reminds him of Cincinnati and they’re going to take the New Day to the lunatic fringe. BOOM!
Wyatt Family vs. Prime Time Players
Small change here as the Wyatts are in the upper left corner and the Players are in the lower right. You rarely see those changed up. Titus tries his luck against Braun to start and some corner clotheslines stagger the giant. They only stagger him though as Braun throws him into the corner and brings in Harper for a Gator Roll. O’Neil powers over for the tag to Darren as things speed up. Darren goes after the now legal Strowman but Harper superkicks him into the standing choke for the win at 2:59.
Charlotte vs. Alicia Fox
Non-title. Fox takes over with a quick backbreaker and we hit the chinlock. We see Team BAD watching in the back as Alicia’s northern lights suplex gets two. Both of them try big boots at the same time but it’s Charlotte up first with the spear and the Figure Eight for the submission at 3:10.
Rating: D. A three minute match shouldn’t have a 45 second chinlock. Every day that ticks by as we get closer to the pay per view, the more worried I get that they’ll give the title back to Nikki because of her “star power”. Also, how could they not throw Sasha in at this point, or at least not have her be the next challenger? She’s on fire right now and they would be crazy to not go with it.
Team Bella attacks post match but Paige makes the save.
Post break Paige thinks PCB is back together but the other two aren’t convinced. They head into their locker room and find Natalya laid out.
Video on Lesnar vs. Undertaker.
New Day vs. Dean Ambrose/Dudley Boyz
Kofi tells everyone to forget what they learned in science class because the strongest force in the universe is the power of positivity. Cena, Ziggler, Orton, D-Von, “Bully Ray Dudley” and Ambrose have all come to the New Day and gotten dropped. It’s all science you see. You could even call it geology because New Day ROCKS. Dean is in a Cincinnati shirt and earns the hometown pop. We take a break before the bell (thank goodness) and start with Kofi headlocking Bubba.
D-Von comes in for a double elbow but Kofi drives him into the bad corner. A low blow gets D-Von down into the corner for the rotating stomps. Woods gets in a running forearm in the corner but D-Von grabs a neckbreaker. Lawler lightens the mood by talking about how the New Day won’t go near a boot because it has a table of contents.
Dean comes in to clean house and Woods eats the suicide dive. The top rope standing clothesline gets two on Woods but Big E. hits a clothesline of his own. Bubba gets the tag for the Bionic Elbow (complete with trombone) to Kofi as everything breaks down. Dean goes up top for a dive on Big E. but Woods shoves him to the floor. Kofi eats 3D but Woods gets in a trombone shot for the DQ at 9:35.
Rating: C. Standard main event six man with Ambrose not really getting to do anything as the hometown boy. To be fair though he already got a big moment in Cincinnati earlier this year and that’s more than most people get. They need to do something with the Dudleyz soon though as you can only have them beat New Day by DQ so many times.
New Day lays out the Dudleyz to end the show.
Overall Rating: C-. Smackdown feels like a house show. Like I mentioned: there’s little reason for the wrestlers to put in much effort, the matches almost never go anywhere or are referenced on Raw and they rarely get time to do anything interesting. What happens here that I would be interested in seeing? These shows aren’t bad but they’re not important and that makes Smackdown a waste of time.
Results
Roman Reigns b. Bo Dallas – Spear
Sheamus/King Barrett b. Cesaro/Neville – Sheamus pinned Cesaro after a Bull Hammer
Kevin Owens b. Zack Ryder – Pop Up Powerbomb
Dolph Ziggler b. Rusev – Zig Zag
Wyatt Family b. Prime Time Players – Standing choke to Young
Charlotte b. Alicia Fox – Figure Eight
Dudley Boyz/Dean Ambrose b. New Day via DQ when Woods used a trombone
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Night Raw – October 12, 2015: Lumberjacks and Marriage Proposals
Monday Night Raw Date: October 12, 2015
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton
We’re getting closer to Hell in a Cell and most of the card is now set. The big story though is New Day, who was showed a completely different style last week as they left John Cena, Dolph Ziggler and the Dudleyz laying. This is a different kind of crowd to perform in front of though and they could certainly change a lot of what we’ve got coming. Let’s get to it.
Kane is on the phone with HHH and Stephanie, who aren’t going to be here until late. They tell him to keep things with Rollins under control until they arrive. Kane promises he will and then makes himself vs. Rollins in a lumberjack match.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Dean Ambrose with something to say. He’s here to welcome us to the show but now he’s looking for a fight. Instead he gets Randy Orton, who says he’s been fighting the Wyatts alongside him and they’re going to continue doing that at Hell in a Cell against Luke Harper and Braun Strowman. Ambrose says he’s been fighting the Wyatts for years so if Orton follows his lead, everything will be fine.
Naturally they get in a mini argument over who the leader is but here’s New Day to interrupt. They talk about slaying everyone last week and brag about leaving everyone laying with their bare hands. This included sending the Dudleyz to a retirement home and beating the WWE’s prized possession down, even though they could see him. Evolution or Legacy couldn’t do that and…..dang Orton has been in a lot of groups. It’s out with the old and in with the New Day so Orton and Ambrose need to pull a Derrick Rose and sit on the bench. That brings Kane to the screen to make the tag match for right now.
New Day vs. Randy Orton/Dean Ambrose
Non-title. Dean cleans house on Kofi to start and works on the arm. A shoulder sends Kofi to the floor and we take an early break. Back with Dean clotheslining Big E. for two and it’s off to Orton for a dropkick. The good guys take turns stomping on Big E., complete with the Garvin stomp.
Dean shows Orton how to stomp and they get in an argument, allowing E. to crawl over and tag as we take another break. Back with New Day in control and stomping Orton down, including the running dropkick from Orton. Big E. slaps on a bearhug until Randy elbows his way out, setting up the tag to Dean.
All of the New Day members are sent to the floor for a suicide dive but E. comes back with a belly to belly inside. Another tag brings in Orton, who ducks Trouble in Paradise and plants Kofi with the hanging DDT. The camera went wide like someone was going to run in but nothing happened. The RKO is loaded up but Kofi shoves Randy into Dean, setting up a rollup for the pin at 17:53.
Rating: C+. Long match here but more of a plot device than anything else. Above all here though: New Day didn’t lose. That’s a really nice surprise out of them as they didn’t go with the lame idea of having the Tag Team Champions used to build up someone for a one off tag match and a possible feud among themselves. They’re getting somewhere, just very slowly.
Video on Undertaker vs. Brock with the final chapter inside the Cell.
Nikki Bella vs. Naomi
We see a video of the Iron Man match from last week and the fans want Sasha, who is at ringside. Naomi’s corner wiggle (she’s just having fun!) and a kick to the chest get two on Nikki but she takes Nikki down and stands on her hair. We hit the hammerlock on Naomi as Nikki tries to have some psychology. That preposterous idea offends Naomi so much that she rapid fires kicks to the ribs and sends Nikki out to the floor for a big dive. Brie gets on the mic and starts a WE WANT SASHA chant to get in Naomi’s head. Sasha pulls Brie off the table but the distraction lets Nikki hit the forearm and Rack Attack for the pin at 4:54.
Rating: C-. Not bad here but they’re getting dangerously close to making Sasha the star of the division while almost never wrestling a singles match. At this point they almost have to add her to the title match at the pay per view and that’s where it seems they’re going. I’d put the title on her now and be done with it, but Nikki getting it back is always a chance. Maybe Charlotte can chase her and not look like a huge loser for a change but that might be giving WWE too much credit.
Paige has been named the Most Unconventional Diva in a Payday (candy bar) product placement bit.
Here’s John Cena for the US Open Challenge but first he wants to talk about this building. This is where he had his first WWE match back in 2002 but tonight Chicago is the place to be and he’s the man to beat so who wants some this week?
US Title: John Cena vs. Dolph Ziggler
Cena is defending and starts with an armdrag (that’s a new one) into an armbar. Ziggler goes to the floor and the fans go nuts with a YES chant and look at something in the crowd. Cena grabs the mic and says that we just had a marriage proposal and SHE SAID YES. Well that’s not something you see every week. Fans: “She! Said YES!” Cena even goes to applaud them again and it’s off to an armbar from Ziggler as we take a break.
Back with Ziggler hitting his elbow drops but Cena fires off the shoulders. Ziggler breaks up the Shuffle with a dropkick as we hear about John Cena facing Kurt Angle in his debut. A modified ProtoBomb sets up the Shuffle and the STF goes on. Ziggler somehow powers out and puts on a sleeper while they’re still on the mat. That goes as far as a sleeper is going to and Cena knocks Ziggler to the floor.
The middle rope AA is broken up and Ziggler catches him with a running middle rope DDT (cool move) for a very close two. Cena’s big running clothesline takes Ziggler down and he catches a charging Dolph in the AA but Ziggler counters into the Fameasser in midair for two. Now the STF goes on in the middle of the ring but Ziggler makes the rope again.
The cross body off the top sets up the roll into the AA but Ziggler rakes the eyes and superkicks Cena down for two. They slug it out and Ziggler headbutts him into the Zig Zag for a very close two. I thought that might have been it. Back up and the AA ends Ziggler at 17:40. It’s as quick as it sounds.
Rating: B+. This was the standard formula for the US Open Challenge and it still works. I’m really curious where they’re going to go with Cena as he’s due off right after the pay per view and he doesn’t really have anything to do aside from the New Day fallout (is he going to mention that tonight?) and I’m not sure how they get the title off of him before then.
HHH calls Kane from the plane and asks how things are going. Kane doesn’t mention the main event.
Dudley Boyz vs. Ascension
Ascension jumps them to start and Viktor hits a nice jumping knee to D-Von’s face. D-Von avoids an elbow and makes the tag off to Bubba, who talks trash as he beats Viktor up. The Doomsday Device (you knew they were busting that one out in Chicago) sets up the 3D to pin Viktor at 2:41.
Neville/Cesaro vs. Sheamus/King Barrett
This could be fun. Neville speeds things up on Barrett to start before it’s off to Cesaro, who gives Neville a boost for a (partially botched) standing Phoenix splash of all things. Sheamus comes in for a slugout but the battering ram is countered by another uppercut. Cesaro throws Neville down onto Sheamus and Barrett, only to have Sheamus’ kickout send Neville into the Bull Hammer to give Sheamus the pin at 3:56.
Rating: D+. Neville is officially in free fall. He’s still there and in some stories, but he’s falling through the cracks in a hurry. I don’t remember the last time he won a big match and the Stardust story just kind of ended with no real blowoff. Hopefully he bounces back and it’s certainly not too late for him, but this isn’t a good sign.
Video on Braun Strowman.
Here’s Roman Reigns for his match against Braun Strowman but he has something to say first. He recaps the entire Bray Wyatt feud while stopping to ask if the fans can’t hear him when they keep chanting WHAT. The fans aren’t interested in the recap of the ANYONE BUT YOU but Reigns says this isn’t boring. Imagine if someone tried to keep you from making a future for your family because Bray Wyatt is trying to hold Reigns back from building a life for his daughter.
That’s the biggest mistake Bray could make and he’ll get what’s coming to him at Hell in a Cell. This was MUCH better than Reigns’ normal stuff and he didn’t stumble once. Cue the Wyatts with Bray asking who Roman is trying to convince. Bray will take the blame for Roman’s lot in life but it all ends in the Cell. Roman says when that door is locked, Bray is going to wish that he’s inside there with anyone but him. Good line there.
Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman
Roman is quickly sent out to the floor so he tries to hit and move a bit more. Strowman easily powers him into the corner and slams Reigns down as Roman can’t do anything with him here. Off to a neck crank for a bit until Reigns fights up and starts with the clotheslines. Bray is getting worried but Reigns can’t Samoan drop Strowman.
Reigns punches away from the floor and the apron boot has Strowman staggered. The second attempt is blocked with a clothesline though and Braun comes out to play. Reigns sends him into the announcers’ table several times but Roman has to Superman Punch Harper. There’s another one to knock Strowman over the table and Braun is counted out at 7:58.
Rating: D+. Pretty ugly brawl here and I’m really not wild on having Strowman lose in any way this early. The fact that he wasn’t pinned helped but as usual WWE has no idea how to book someone beyond from pay per view to pay per view. Strowman is looking more and more like a plot device to get us to Reigns vs. Wyatt again and that’s a shame.
The Wyatts surround Roman but he gets to the floor just in time. Bray kneels in front of Roman and says follow the buzzards so Reigns pops him in the jaw.
The Authority calls again and they’re on the way to the arena. This time Kane tells him the main event but HHH can’t hear him due to bad reception. HHH: “I know Rollins but who is he facing?” Kane: “It’s me.” HHH: “I know it’s you Kane but who is he facing?” Full House had better plot devices than this.
Ryback vs. Rusev
No entrances for either guy. We recap the Summer story from last week and Cole casually mentions that TMZ reported Lana and Rusev got engaged over the weekend. So yeah, screw storylines because a gossip site told the truth about your story. You could always NOT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT but that would be ignoring the internet and that might mean a downgrade in your social media score or whatever.
JBL asks why Summer is here. Cole: “Maybe she’s not into social media?” The Meathook looks to set up the Shell Shock but Rusev slips out. Rusev’s charge hits the post though and now the Shell Shock is good for the pin at 3:07. So much for Rusev meaning much after Wrestlemania.
Rating: D+. What do I even say here? The entire story has been thrown out because we need to report on TMZ. It’s another example of just taking the easy way out of a storyline instead of actually writing your way out of it. I can’t stand that sort of laziness but it’s what we’re stuck with in modern wrestling.
Post match Summer shows us photos from TMZ and rips into Rusev for leading her on. She slaps him in the face and walks off as Rusev shouts a lot. My loose Russian translation thinks he said “I’ll take em both, I’m hardcore.”
Kalisto vs. Kevin Owens
Non-title. Owens shrugs off the early kicks and punches Kalisto in the side of the head. Some more kicks have little effect and Owens sends him to the floor. Owens teases a dive of his own but opts for a running slide to the floor instead. We get the Lucha Dragons pose from Owens but Kalisto comes back with a rolling kick to the head and the hurricanrana faceplant for two. A tornado DDT gets the same but Kalisto’s hurricanrana is countered into the Pop Up Powerbomb for the pin at 3:45.
Rating: C-. I still really like the booking here as Owens gets to have this meaningless mini feud with the Dragons but still gets to build towards his rematch with Ryback without the usual tropes WWE is so obsessed with. Good stuff here and again Kalisto is an incredibly fun act who could be something special going forward.
Brie Bella/Alicia Fox vs. Becky Lynch/Charlotte
Paige is on commentary and isn’t happy that Natalya is now part of Team NBC. Paige: “They’re just going through a phase.” Becky works on Brie’s arm to start before it’s off to Charlotte who helps with stereo legdrops onto Brie’s arms. The spear gets two but Natalya goes to argue with Team Bella, causing Paige to get up and shove her a few times. Back inside and Charlotte walks into a middle rope dropkick from Brie for the pin at 3:07.
Rating: D. BRIE BELLA??? Now they have Charlotte losing to BRIE BELLA??? Charlotte’s reign is reaching Zack Ryder territory now as they’re having her lose everything and then expect her to still be over while the Bellas are the dominant looking ones. Nikki is one thing but BRIE BELLA???
The Authority finally finds out who Rollins is facing because Kane couldn’t just text them the match earlier tonight. HHH says there’s no way that match can happen. Anyone can replace Kane but he can’t face Rollins. I smell a loophole coming. Fans: “CM PUNK!”
Rollins appeals to Big Show and says he sees him as family. Show laughs it off and leaves with Kane taking his place. He’s going to find a suitable replacement though.
Another Lesnar vs. Undertaker video.
Seth Rollins vs. ???
Non-title lumberjack match and the opponent is…….of course it’s Demon Kane. Did you really expect anything else? They’ve even managed to calm down the Chicago crowd and Kane keeps throwing Rollins out to the lumberjacks who are more than willing to throw him back in. Kane gets low bridged to the floor but the lumberjacks just stand back. Seth’s suicide dive is caught by the throat so Seth runs away, only to get caught by Cesaro.
Back in and a clothesline knocks Kane over the top but he lands on his feet. Kane starts beating up New Day but stops to stare at Big Show. Gah anything but that. Kane slaps him in the face so Show knocks Kane out but he’s still able to kick out at two. The springboard knee to the face gets the same as the announcers keep calling him Demon Kane.
A frog splash gets two more for the champ but Kane pulls him off the top with a superplex. Both guys are down and New Day pulls Kane to the floor, triggering a big brawl between all of the lumberjacks. Back in and the lumberjacks come in but Kane sits up to stop Big E.’s Warrior splash. Everything breaks down again and the Pedigree is countered, followed by a tombstone to pin Rollins at 8:21.
Rating: D. BUT HOW CAN ROLLINS POSSIBLY KEEP THE TITLE NOW??? I knew Kane was going to win the second his music hit because that’s how you build to a match on pay per view: by having the same match on free TV just a few weeks beforehand. Kane doing his same schtick that he was doing twelve years ago doesn’t do much for me, especially since he has no chance at winning in the title match.
Overall Rating: C+. This show had a lot more energy than usual and it helped things out quite a bit. They’ve got most of the show set for the pay per view and I’m actually intrigued by the card. Naturally there are some holes in this show such as the “let’s ignore stories because TMZ said so” and the stupid swap for the main event, but did anyone not see that coming? I had a good time with this one though and it flew by, which is always a good feeling on Raw. I’m not sure that’s a good thing though as it means you can’t wait for it to be over and it’s not as bad as it could have been. Take that for what you will.
Results
New Day b. Randy Orton/Dean Ambrose – Rollup to Orton
Nikki Bella b. Naomi – Rack Attack
John Cena b. Dolph Ziggler – Zig Zag
Dudley Boyz b. Ascension – 3D to Ascension
Sheamus/King Barrett b. Neville/Cesaro – Sheamus pinned Neville after a Bull Hammer
Roman Reigns b. Braun Strowman via countout
Kevin Owens b. Kalisto – Pop Up Powerbomb
Brie Bella/Alicia Fox b. Becky Lynch/Charlotte – Missile dropkick to Charlotte
Kane b. Seth Rollins – Tombstone
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