On This Day: July 19, 2012 – Impact Wrestling: Dig Those Young Aces and 8’s!

Impact Wrestling
Date: July 19, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s Open Fight Night again and Roode is calling out Aries tonight. Why he would do this when he has a world title match at the next PPV is a bit of a mystery but that’s wrestling for you. We also might get an update on the Aces and 8’s faction which is a pretty cool idea. We haven’t had masked me in awhile so that’s kind of a cool thing. Let’s get to it.

After the standard opening recap, we have another recap of the Aces and 8’s beatdown last week.

Hogan is shown in the hospital, which is due to a legit back surgery.

Theme song hits. Get your reinforcements.

Bound For Glory Series standings:

James Storm 43

Samoa Joe 37

Kurt Angle 27

Jeff Hardy 21

Mr. Anderson 16

Rob Van Dam 14

Magnus 14

Christopher Daniels 12

AJ Styles 7

D’Angelo Dinero 7

Bully Ray 0

Robbie E 0

Tonight the high scorers get to do the callouts.

Here’s Storm to talk about Aries being the new champion and wanting the title shot no matter who it’s against. He hasn’t forgotten about Roode either, because the title is just business while Roode is personal. As for Aces and 8’s, if this was the wild west, he’d be the sheriff because he’s the Cowboy. While he doesn’t have a star on his chest, he has a set of balls. Hogan gets a shoutout but Storm wants Angle tonight.

Bound For Glory Series: James Storm vs. Kurt Angle

And there’s no Kurt. The music plays again and it’s Aces and 8’s in the back destroying Angle. We go to a break with Angle out cold and Tenay wondering if the guy in an American flag t-shirt with no hair that looks exactly like Angle is in fact Angle.

Bound For Glory Series: Samoa Joe vs. D’Angelo Dinero

I’m not going to bother listing the quick callouts that happen unless anything significant is said in them. Dinero tries to knock Joe into the corner but Joe pounds him with elbows and an enziguri to take over. Joe pops him in the face but gets sent into the corner and out to the floor. Back in and Pope hits a powerslam for two and it’s off to the Rings of Saturn. Pope starts pounding away and gets caught in a cross armbreaker for the tap at 3:20.

Rating: C. See how easy it is to push Joe as a submissions master? It goes this fast and Joe continues to dominate the Series. Pope is still floundering and it’s still pretty dull to see him out there as he’s nothing more than a jobber at this point. Still though, they need people like that in the Series to keep things interesting. This wasn’t bad though and Pope looked good.

Roode denies having any connection to Aces and 8’s despite being the last guy seen with Hogan before the attack. He’ll prove Destination X was a fluke later too.

Bound For Glory Series; Jeff Hardy vs. Robbie E

Jeff says he has someone in mind to call out but Robbie E interrupts. T jumps Hardy to take over but Hardy realizes he’s Jeff Hardy and takes over with his usual stuff. T interferes again to send Jeff out to the floor. That gets two for E but Jeff comes back again and hits the Whisper in the Wind for two. A plancha to the floor misses as T shoved E out of the way. Jeff fights T up the aisle and E wins by countout at 2:49.

ODB and Eric Young are in the back and Eric is back. It turns into a plug for his fish show.

We recap Clair/Daniels/Kaz with Clair saying that AJ is her baby’s papa.

Daniels rants a lot as does Kaz, saying that AJ is a coward.

Smoe guy named Sam Shaw comes out for Gut Check and while he’s talking, here are Aces and 8’s. There are six of them this time. The beating continues as they go to a break.

Post break Shaw is helped up.

Bound For Glory Series: Mr. Anderson vs. AJ Styles

Anderson works over the arm and hits a hiptoss to take over. He hooks an armbar but AJ counters into a headscissors. They stay on the mat for a bit until a stalemate takes us to a break. Back with Anderson holding a headlock but AJ comes back with the drop down/kick sequence. AJ grabs the arm but gets elbowed in the face and a neckbreaker puts Styles down for two. Anderson hooks a cravate for a submission attempt but Styles rams him into the buckle to escape. Springboard forearm gets two for AJ.

Mic Check and Clash are countered as we’re getting close to fifteen minutes here. Regal Roll gets two for Anderson but the Mic Check is countered again. AJ goes up but Mr. snaps off a superplex with AJ landing on his arm. That only gets two for both guys as we have less than two minutes left. Pele out of nowhere (missed by the announcers) sets up the Clash but Anderson counters and they hit the mat with Anderson getting a pin out of nowhere at 13:38.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t really hitting on all cylinders but it worked well enough all things considered. Anderson needs some points and having him get a clean pin over Styles isn’t going to hurt anything at all. Besides AJ has bigger things to worry about right now, and here she comes to continue the soap opera portion of your show.

Clair comes over the rail and yells about the night that AJ came to the hotel but AJ doesn’t remember it. She says Styles was drinking that night too but Styles says this was all in her head. Clair has pictures of them in bed together with AJ looking very drugged/drunk.

Back and we look at the pictures again with AJ looking stunned in the back.

Bound For Glory Series: Rob Van Dam vs. Christopher Daniels

Some MMA guy is on commentary here because when you watch wrestling, you think MMA. Van Dam fires off some kicks but Daniels comes back with an elbow to the face. Daniels gets caught in an abdominal stretch, only for Daniels to fall backwards into the ropes. Back in after a quick run to the floor and Daniels hits the slingshot elbow for two. The MMA guy at least is interested here and sounds like a wrestling fan.

Daniels drops a knee to the back and puts on a chinlock with a knee in the back. Van Dam escapes and superkicks Daniels down, followed by a monkey flip. Five Star misses so RVD hits the walk over kick to take Daniels down. Rolling Thunder misses and Daniels rolls Van Dam up with feet on the ropes for the pin at 4:13.

Rating: C. Not bad again here and the announcer wasn’t that annoying for the most part. Daniels is doing a great job at being completely evil and that’s the right thing for him to do. RVD is fine for a warm body in the Series, which means that he’ll wind up in the middle of the standings and will get some wins here and there. This was fine.

Austin Aries says he can trump anything Roode can do. He finds playing cards on the floor and says he can trump Aces and 8’s too.

It’s Brooke Hogan time! She does a phone interview to talk about her dad’s injuries and how her dad doesn’t know what he’s in for. Nothing of note is said here.

Joseph Park offers his legal services to Garrett Bischoff as a way to talk about what happened last week when Park snapped. Park says that was all him.

Bound For Glory Series: Magnus vs. Bully Ray

Ray jumps Magnus in the aisle but Magnus fights back. Magnus sends him into the barricade and heads into the ring for the bell. Ray kicks him in the chest to take over but I think he was aiming for the face. Ray chops him in the corner and slams him down, but the splash misses. Magnus makes his comeback and throws on a Texas Cloverleaf but Ray makes the rope. Falcon’s Arrow gets two for Magnus. He misses a middle rope elbow though and it’s the Bully Cutter for the pin at 4:45.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here but Ray finally gets some points. Magnus has everything you need to be something good but for some reason he’s never risen above the level of a jobber. Unfortunately we didn’t get any Joseph Park stuff here but this got the job done well enough I guess.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. debuts next week.

Here’s Roode to call out Aries. That’ll be after a break though.

Austin Aries vs. Bobby Roode

Non-title of course, because why would you think of asking for a title match in a match where you have to accept said challenge? Aries snaps off an armdrag followed by Roode getting sent into the corner. The fans sound like they say they want t-shirts. Roode sends him to the apron but Aries counters and hits a slingshot hilo for two. Roode goes face first into the apron so Aries dives on him on the outside as we take a break.

Back with Aries in trouble as Roode hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. A spinebuster gets the same and it’s time for a chinlock. Aries fights up but walks into an elbow to the face to put him right back down. Aries gets up again and they slug it out but the spinning forearm gets caught in an armbar. Last Chancery goes on but Roode breaks out and hits the spear for two.

Roode loads up a superplex but Aries knees him in the head to escape. A missile dropkick puts Roode down but the brainbuster is countered into the Crossface. Aries hits the discus forearm and clotheslines Roode to the floor, followed by the suicide dive. And here are Aces and 8’s for the DQ at 13:42.

Rating: C+. This was pretty good and I guess this is supposed to prove that Roode is behind this, but that would make no sense as they appeared before he lost the title. Aries getting beaten down is a nice touch as it shows that it’s a company wide problem, but it doesn’t answer any questions. This was the only ending they could go with though, as if Roode won then Aries is a fluke but if Aries won, why watch the PPV match?

Roode gets beaten up too and it’s a big beatdown to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This show has really slowed down a lot in the last few weeks, but there was still some good stuff tonight. Aces and 8’s is still an interesting idea but with these random attacks, they’re not really going anywhere yet. That’ll change when Hogan and Sting get back or when someone mounts an attack against them. As usual though, the problem with Open Fight Night is that nothing of note happens from it. These matches could happen on any show and the calling out means nothing at all. Not a horrible show but it was nothing great at all.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:




Impact Wrestling – July 11, 2013: The Girls Take The Night

Impact Wrestling
Date: July 11, 2013
Location: Orleans Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Destination X so tonight is going to be all about Sabin vs. Ray next week, which is going to be a decent match but will also have issues drawing in an audience. Other than that we’ve got the Aces and 8’s feuding with the Mafia and potentially having a fight tonight. Other than that it’s going to be all about next week. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s events with the focus on Sabin winning the title back.

Bully Ray rants about Brooke’s real life engagement, saying he isn’t ready for her to move on yet.

Here are the bikers to open the show. Ray’s first order of business is Chris Sabin, who now has the right to face him next week at Destination X. Later tonight Hogan is going to come out here and ask Sabin to hand over his title. Sabin needs to keep the title he has now because he wants no part of Bully Ray. As for the club business, the Aces and 8’s get to vote in a new vice president. Ray takes a thinly veiled jab at WWE’s fan polls by saying the fans have nothing to do with the pick. As for the Mafia’s challenge to a fight next week, absolutely not because the bikers fight on their own terms.

This brings out the Main Event Mafia with Sting and Angle in suits and the rest in wrestling gear. Angle says their challenge was specifically for that date because the Mafia could kill two birds with one stone. Next week they’re going to take out every member of the Aces and 8’s, leaving Bully alone to face Chris Sabin. Sting promises yet another new member of the Mafia tonight and that he’s a heavy hitter.

As for the BFG Series, tonight there are going to be three Joker’s Wild tag team matches with the six winners going on to a gauntlet where the winner receives 25 points.

Jeff Hardy/Joseph Park vs. AJ Styles/Samoa Joe

Park and Styles get things going with AJ easily taking him down. It’s quickly off to Hardy who hits the sitout front suplex for two and it’s off to Joe with a running elbow to Jeff’s face. The corner enziguri puts Jeff down and it’s back to AJ who puts on the Calf Killer, only to have Hardy make the save. Park gets to face Joe and the lawyer cleans house. It doesn’t last long though as Joe shoves him into the springboard forearm which knocks Park into the Koquina Clutch for the submission at 4:34.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere which is a shame given the talent in this one. Styles and Joe could have been a dream team if given the time together but they would have likely wound up feuding sooner than later. Park continues to just kind of float around at the moment as his development has stalled.

Mr. Anderson/Magnus vs. Jay Bradley/Hernandez

Anderson offers to start against Hernandez but he immediately tags out to Magnus. Bradley comes in as well and hits a nice jumping knee to the chest. Off to Hernandez who gets caught in a wristlock but Anderson won’t tag back in. Hernandez takes over on Magnus with a splash in the corner and the slingshot shoulder for two. Back to Bradley who charges into an elbow in the corner and gets taken down by a boot. Anderson still won’t tag but Bradley accidentally trips Hernandez, allowing Magnus to roll him up for the pin at 3:53.

Rating: D. Well this match happened. Bradley continues to be a screwup with potential while Hernandez continues to be a waste of oxygen. Magnus and Anderson having their issues was a logical story and it’s cool to see Magnus’ push to the stars continue. I’m just not sure where he’ll land in the whole thing.

Aries is annoyed that Roode didn’t help him last week. Roode wants to focus on the BFG Series when Bad Influence comes in. They’re the final four men for the Joker’s Wild stuff and they’re sure the teams will be as expected. Many jokes are cracked.

Christopher Daniels/Austin Aries vs. Kazarian/Bobby Roode

Aries starts with Kaz who go to a quick stalemate. Off to Daniels vs. Roode but Chris quickly brings in Aries for a showdown of partners. Roode sends Aries out to the floor as we take a quick break. Back with Kaz holding Aries in a cross arm choke followed by a clothesline to take Austin down.

The Fade to Black is escaped with a forearm and it’s a double tag to bring in Roode vs. Daniels. Aries tags himself in to break up the BME and lays out Roode with a missile dropkick, only to miss the corner dropkick. Kaz comes in with the slingshot DDT for two on Aries but Daniels makes the save. Kazarian has his eyes raked and rolls up Daniels for the blind pin at 10:00.

Rating: C+. This was a fun tag match but I’m not wild on the dissent between Bad Influence. We need a feud between these teams before the inevitable splits for the comedy of the promos alone. Still though, good match here with the ending being a creative way around screwing over your partner.

The Aces and 8’s are voting for the new VP.

Hulk comes in to see Brooke but Brooke doesn’t want to talk about Bully. She’s more interested in the Knockouts ladder match tonight. Hulk says take care of all your business tonight.

Doc and Anderson are the candidates for VP and Bully abstains from voting. They both vote for themselves, Brisco votes for Anderson, D-Von for Doc, Taz for Doc, Bischoff for Anderson, so it’s up to Knux for the deciding vote. He picks Anderson to give him the position. Doc isn’t pleased with Knux and glares a lot.

Gail Kim vs. Taryn Terrell

This is a ladder match with the winner getting a title shot at some point in the future. Taryn throws her out to the ramp to start and spears her through the ropes for good measure. The first ladder is brought in and rammed into Gail’s ribs in the corner. Taryn dropkicks the top of the ladder to drive it further into the ribs as Taz is back on commentary. Gail’s cross body is kicked out of the air and the ladder is set up in the middle of the ring. Gail sends her into the side of the ladder to take over but can’t hook the figure four around the post.

Back from a break with both girls climbing and slugging it out on top. They both fall down and land on the ropes with the ladder nearly crushing Gail’s skull in the process. Taryn shoves the ladder face first into a charging Gail but her leg is tied up in the ladder. Taryn has to find a replacement but Gail gets up and climbs, only to be pulled back down by Terrell. The other ladder is bridged between the ropes and the standing ladder but Gail gets off before Taryn can crush her against the bridge.

Gail puts the figure four on Taryn inside the ladder but both of them climb up anyway. Taryn chokes Gail off the ladder and shoves her to the mat, but the knee won’t let her stand high enough. Instead Terrell dives off the ladder with a cross body and both girls are down again. They both climb onto the bridged ladder with Taryn being thrown to the mat again in a big thud. Terrell is up first and hooks a dragon sleeper, but Gail TIES TARYN’S HAIR AROUND THE ROPES. Gail climbs the ladder to get the shot at 15:10.

Rating: B+. Solid match here with a creative ending. The match was so good that it makes me get over Gail getting ANOTHER title shot which I don’t think anyone wants to see. Taryn is showing good promise in the ring which goes along with her looks. I liked the last man standing match better but this was certainly good stuff.

Sting and Angle recap the BFG Series stuff from tonight and the fifth member calls.

Bound For Glory Series Gauntlet Match

AJ Styles, Bobby Roode, Kazarian, Samoa Joe, Magnus, Mr. Anderson

The winner gets 25 points. AJ starts with Magnus and we have two minutes before the next entrant. You can be eliminated over the top until we’re down to the final two where it’s pinfall/submission only. Feeling out process to start with both guys cranking on the arm. AJ hits a hard elbow to stun Magnus as Kaz is in at #3. A snap suplex by AJ sends Kaz into the middle rope but Styles can’t eliminate him. Joe is in at #4 as Taz complains about the Mafia having the fix in. Magnus and Joe double team Kaz before they split off to work on both guys. Kaz sends AJ to the apron but gets backdropped out at 5:27 and we take a break.

Back with Anderson already in and Bobby Roode coming in at #6 to complete the field. Magnus is sent to the apron but slides back in with ease. Roode powerslams AJ down and goes for the elimination but it’s Anderson with a running clothesline to eliminate Styles at 11:50. Magnus throws Roode to the apron but Bobby slides back in. Anderson and Joe eliminate each other at 12:50, leaving us with Roode vs. Magnus for the 25 points.

A jumping knee to the face puts Roode down but Magnus walks into the spinebuster for a close two. Roode hooks the Crossface but Magnus rolls over into a cradle for two. Magnus hooks the Cloverleaf on Roode but Bobby gets into the ropes. Roode loads up a superplex but gets shoved off, only to have Magnus miss the top rope elbow. Roode tries an O’Connor roll but Roode kicks him off and cradles the shoulders for the pin at 16:51.

Rating: C. The one on one part was good but the battle royal part was very uninteresting for the twelve minutes was had to sit through. Magnus’ Superman push is continuing but I can’t imagine him getting the world title shot at the biggest show of the year. Crimson was on fire like this last year and I don’t think he even wrestled at the PPV.

Here’s Hulk to accept Sabin’s title for the shot next week. Sabin talks about being a kid and watching Hogan dominate the world over the years. He heard a lot of people saying he couldn’t do this but now he’s proven them wrong. Sabin goes to hand the title to Hulk but is cut off by the world champ.

Ray says he and his wife has unfinished business, but it’s time to focus on Sabin. He says Sabin shouldn’t hand over the title because Ray is a bad person. There’s no way he could ever beat a man like Bully Ray and the beating next week will be one for the ages. Sabin says Ray should shut up because Sabin has pinned Ray before. It was him that pinned Ray in Team 3D’s retirement match and the only man to kick out of the 3D (in TNA that is).

Most of the time a guy like Ray is going to win but all Sabin has to do is win one time and that’s what he’s going to do next week. Next week it’ll be Sabin asking if people know who he is, and he’ll be the world champion. Sabin hands over the X title to make it official so Ray calls in the bikers. This brings out the Mafia and Sting reveals the newest member: Rampage Jackson. Ray is STUNNED to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was all about the future but it was still entertaining for the most part. Magnus was the star of the show and looked great in the process so points to TNA for trying someone new. The Sabin stuff was a nice push towards next week and the match should be fun. Couple all that with a very good ladder match and it’s hard not to like this show. TNA continues to be on a roll right now and this was another good episode.

Results

AJ Styles/Samoa Joe b. Joseph Park/Jeff Hardy – Koquina Clutch to Park

Magnus/Mr. Anderson b. Jay Bradley/Hernandez – Rollup to Hernandez

Kazarian/Bobby Roode b. Austin Aries/Christopher Daniels – Small Package to Daniels

Gail Kim b. Taryn Terrell – Kim pulled down the contract

Magnus won a gauntlet match last eliminating Bobby Roode

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

 




TNA One Night Only – Jokers Wild: It’s Missing The Wild Part

Jokers Wild
Date: May 3, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

This is the second of the One Night Only shows, meaning that it’s another show taped two months ago and airing now because TNA doesn’t want to do the traditional three hour PPVs every month. The gimmick this month is that we have a bunch of tag matches with random pairings and the winners all go into a gauntlet match with the winner earning $100,000. I don’t get why money isn’t a prize more often in wrestling anymore. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about how all of these people are the foundation on which TNA is built. Allegedly this is a NEVER BEFORE SEEN concept, other than all of the other times this has been done over the years with various other endings. In the pure brilliance of TNA, they show us clips of various matches, including one partner turning on another. The idea of a spoiler doesn’t mean much around here does it?

Christy and JB draw names out of a tumbler in the ring to determine the pairings.

James Storm/Christian York vs. Gunner/Crimson

Wow Gunner still has a job? This is kind of an interesting match given that Storm has history with Crimson as Storm ended Crimson’s undefeated streak a year ago. Storm and Crimson get things going here with Crimson using the power game to take over. Storm comes back with a tackle and right hands as Tenay makes WINNING jokes ala Charlie Sheen. A hard clothesline puts Crimson down and it’s off to York who drops a knee for two.

Off to Gunner for the first time in a long time as Tazz makes ball jokes about Christy Hemme. It’s going to be a very long night on commentary. York gets two off a bulldog as we talk about the legendary Murphy. They slug it out for a bit with Gunner taking over, only to be taken down by a kick to the face for two. It’s back to Storm for a wind up poke to the eye before it’s back to York. Christian avoids a rollup but Crimson snaps his neck over the top rope to give Gunner control again.

Now Tenay is talking about walking through Memphis looking for moonshine as the match is ignored for the sake of inside jokes. A high collar suplex puts York down for two and a slingshot suplex gets the same for Gunner. Off to a chinlock by Gunner before Crimson comes in for the same hold. York kicks him away but it’s Gunner breaking up the tag again. Christian kicks him in the head though and it’s hot tag to Storm.

James cleans house and kicks Gunner in the head before getting two off a top rope crossbody. York catapults Gunner into a DDT from Storm for two but Crimson spears Storm down. Storm hits Closing Time on Crimson before York throws Gunner into the Last Call for the pin, advancing Storm and York.

Rating: C. I have a feeling my thoughts on a lot of these matches are going to be the same. This wasn’t bad or anything but the lack of a story is going to bring almost all of these down. Yeah Storm has history with Crimson, but it was a two minute match from a year ago. There’s no reason to watch any of these guys fight tonight other than money, meaning the matches are all going to be judged on in ring work alone. This wasn’t bad, but I can’t imagine them all being this good.

York thanks Storm for being a great partner but reminds Storm that it’s every man for himself in the main event. Storm is just thinking of how much beer a hundred grand can buy.

Jesse Godderz/Mr. Anderson vs. Douglas Williams/Kid Kash

No Tara unfortunately. Anderson comes out like normal to his own music and without the biker gear. Kash and Anderson start things off but Jesse tags in before anything can happen. A quick shoulder sends Godderz into the corner and it’s off to Anderson who might not suck as much. Anderson hits a quick dropkick to put Kash down and it’s back to Jesse for some arm work. He asks for a tag and Anderson isn’t sure if he wants back in or not. The announcers would rather talk about Aces and 8’s rankings and British terminology instead of calling the match.

Williams comes in and gets caught by a hiptoss and backdrop from Anderson. Jesse is jumping up and down to get in the match so it’s off to the rookie for some arm work. He cranks it once and already wants Anderson back in. Since Anderson is getting annoyed he takes more time, allowing Williams to suplex Godderz down. Off to Kash for a release belly to back of his own as the announcers continue to talk about stupid things like the “Pre-Tazz Era” of TNA.

Williams puts a cravate on Jesse for a bit, only to be taken down by a nice leg trip. Godderz still can’t make a tag though as Williams comes in with a clothesline to put him back down for two. Off to Kash again who helps out Williams with a double backdrop as Jesse continues to be picked apart. Back to Williams for a few slams as this gets more and more boring every few seconds. Kash kicks Jesse low and rakes his back a few times as we talk about roulette to keep up the announcers’ trend.

Off to a chinlock by Williams as we talk about gumption, moxie and tomatoes. I know I’m talking about the announcers a lot but it’s by far the most interesting thing in the match so far. Tazz actually says that Aces and 8’s don’t do losses. Jesse sends Kash into the corner but gets kicked in the face and caught with a moonsault out of the corner for two. Godderz is stomped around even more as Tazz talks about getting a furry sidecar on Bully’s bike. The commentary must have been recorded later as Bully wasn’t revealed as part of Aces and 8’s when this was taped.

A clothesline out of the corner takes Williams down and it’s FINALLY off to Anderson to clean house. Anderson hits his rolling fireman’s carry on Williams and loads it up on Kash, only to have Jesse pull Kash down to load up his own finishing move. Anderson kicks Kash down and Mic Checks Godderz before rolling up Kash for the pin.

Rating: D+. Remember what I said about the wrestling being the main thing to go off on this show? In this case it was hindered by Jesse, who is WAY too green to be in there as long as he was. There was a story being told here, but the match was so dull throughout that it didn’t make much of a difference. Anderson looked like a star though.

Bobby Roode says he doesn’t need strategy because he’s a winner in tag matches and single matches.

Crimson and Gunner complain about not being on television lately. Crimson wants to team with Gunner regularly since they’re both war veterans.

Christopher Daniels/Samoa Joe vs. Chavo Guerrero/Rob Van Dam

This should be interesting. Chavo and Daniels get things going and it’s a lengthy feeling out process until Chavo hits a dropkick to put Daniels down. Off to Van Dam for a kick to the face and a standing moonsault for two. Daniels rams RVD into the corner with some shoulders to the ribs, only to have Van Dam roll him up and crank on Daniels’ leg for a bit. Off to Joe vs. Van Dam as the fans aren’t sure who to cheer. Both guys counter everything the other guy throws until Van Dam gets a rollup for two and a standoff.

Chavo comes in and takes over on Daniels by stomping him down in the corner but a single shot allows for the tag off to Joe. Chavo punches Joe down in a rather surprising bit before hitting the slingshot hilo. Daniels cheats from the apron and comes in with more choking. Back to Joe for some headbutts and the enziguri in the corner for two. Back to the ball jokes by the announcers which never were funny in the first place. Off to Daniels for a chinlock as the match slows down a bit.

Chavo fights up with some elbows to the ribs as Tenay and Tazz talk about a party in the Aces and 8’s clubhouse. Back to Joe for the rapid fire punches in the corner followed by a crossface chinlock of his own. Guerrero gets back up but walks into a powerslam for two. Daniels comes in with an elbow drop and puts on what looks like a Tazmission. Chavo finally gets up but both guys try cross bodies and collide in the air.

Daniels drags Chavo back into the corner and Joe pounds him down again. An overhead suplex gets two on Guerrero and we hit the chinlock again. Joe loads up the Muscle Buster but Daniels tags himself in instead. A top rope cross body puts Daniels down and there’s the hot tag off to RVD.

Rob cleans house and hits a running spinwheel kick in the corner followed by Rolling Thunder for two. Everything breaks down and Joe hits a high collar suplex on Guerrero. Van Dam kicks Joe down but Daniels crotches him as he loads up the Five Star. Chavo takes Daniels to the floor, but Joe runs up and hits the Muscle Buster on Van Dam for the pin to advance.

Rating: B-. Definitely the best match of the night so far with all four guys knowing how to work the tag team formula quite well. Joe is the kind of guy that can work face or heel at the drop of a hat so we could easily have a face/heel dynamic. This is also the longest of the tag matches and that’s likely a good thing. Pretty solid match here.

Daniels celebrates like he just won the world title.

Godderz says he was responsible for 80%-90% of the offense and that he needs the money to fund his Hollywood parties. Anderson volunteers to throw everyone else out and let Godderz win tonight. Jesse leaves and Anderson says that’s not happening. Godderz is kind of funny at least.

Robbie E/Zema Ion vs. Bobby Roode/Joseph Park

Time for things to get wacky! Park wants to call the team Law and Order but Roode says no and calls Park Tons of Fun. Roode and Zema get things going as Park grabs the tag rope. Bobby runs over Zema and does the same to Robbie just because he can. Roode cranks on the arm and finally tags in the already sweating Park. Robbie seems to enjoy the prospects of fighting Park but Joseph is fascinated by the spiked hair. Roode: “TAG ME BACK IN YOU MORON!” Robbie tries a cross body but bounces off Park like he’s a wall. Park counters a slam into one of his own and the comedy continues.

Zema finally trips Park up and Robbie kicks away at the knee. Off to Ion with a missile dropkick and a middle rope forearm from Robbie for two. Back to Ion who tries a sunset flip but has to avoid a cannonball from Park. Robbie pounds away even more and the big man is taken down by a double back elbow. Ion comes back in to try a 450 but Park rolls away. He goes the wrong way and takes most of the splash but at least he tried.

Park punches Robbie in the head a few times but hits the middle rope splash for two instead. Ion uses Robbie as a springboard to hit Park in the corner, busting him open. Park snaps and it’s a chokeslam for Ion, a Black Hole Slam for Robbie….and he snaps back into reality. Roode tags himself back in and steals the pin for his team.

Rating: D+. Just a basic comedy tag match which was fine for the most part. The problem with comedy matches is that you can only reach a certain level with them and this match didn’t quite get there. Park is great in the role though and he played it perfectly here. The match was just kind of there though and it felt longer than it should have been.

Roode doesn’t want a hug post match.

Daniels celebrates in the back and offers to buy Joe dinner with the winnings. Joe says only one person can win and he’ll see Daniels out there.

D-Von asks Val if she’s part of the conspiracy to bring down TNA. He says that TNA can do nothing to stop them because this is their year. D-Von offers to give Val a job where he makes it rain.

D-Von/Doc vs. Alex Silva/Hernandez

Well that’s quite a coincidence. D-Von and Silva start things off and after about two minutes of circling each other we get some actual contact. Silva gets pounded down in the corner and D-Von is toying with him. A one footed dropkick staggers D-Von and it’s off to Hernandez to give him a real challenge. Off to Doc for the power vs. power match with both guys getting to show off their strength.

A delayed vertical suplex puts Doc down and it’s off to Silva who is promptly destroyed. D-Von crotches him against the post and it’s off to a chinlock by Doc. Off to D-Von again for a knee drop and a two count as Silva continues to be beaten down. Doc comes in with a legdrop for two and some elbows to the chest. A big splash gets another two as Silva’s destruction continues. D-Von puts on a front facelock but Silva escapes for the tag off to Hernandez. SuperMex cleans house but Alex tags himself back in like an idiot. A missile dropkick gets two on Doc but he gets caught in a chokeslam for the pin to advance.

Rating: D+. So a team that regularly works together is better than a thrown together team with a rookie for a member. It took ten minutes to get that point across? There’s nothing special to see here and if I have to hear about Taz’s sidecar one more time I’m going to lose my mind. The commentary on this show is absolutely horrible and it’s driving me insane.

Joey Ryan and Matt Morgan talk about percentages. I like Scott Steiner’s math a lot better.

Joseph Park talks about how important wins are. Christopher Daniels runs up and says he needs help. Joseph: “I told you she was seventeen!” Daniels offers Park 30% of the $100,000 (“$25,000 isn’t bad!”) for an alliance (“Your back is bigger than mine so I’ll be doing more work.”) but Park says no. He says if he wins, he’ll donate the money to a children’s charity in Chicago.

Matt Morgan/Robbie T vs. Joey Ryan/Al Snow

Wow, you mean people that don’t like each other are teaming together? That’s WACKY BROTHER! Once we were down to just two people left, why was Morgan surprised that Ryan was one of his opponents? Joey tries to run but Snow throws him back in to face Morgan. As Snow is throwing him in though, Ryan makes a quick tag so Snow gets the beating from Terry. Off to Morgan for some stomping of the ribs, which are covered in workout gear instead of wrestling attire.

Snow tries to get in a few shots but Robbie shrugs them off and rips at Al’s face. Tazz spends the whole match ripping into Snow for various reasons. Ryan bails away from a tag attempt as Tenay explains the Gut Check history between Snow and Ryan. Snow finally speeds things up a bit but Terry hooks a neckbreaker to put him right back down. We hit the chinlock for a bit as Terry tries to not screw stuff up. In an odd sequence, Snow catches Terry’s kick to the ribs, then tries a kick of his own which is also caught. He flips Terry off and hits an enziguri (to the shoulder) before making the tag.

Ryan is finally in and is immediately destroyed by Terry who hits a World’s Strongest Slam for two….as Matt Morgan makes the save. Morgan yells at Terry that Ryan is his partner, so Terry throws Ryan to a weakened Snow for a tag. Now Snow tries to get Terry to join up with him against Morgan before smacking Morgan in the face. Matt comes in and Snow is all fired up….and he tags Joey in. Morgan tries to tag in Terry as this completely falls apart. Snow bails from an attempted tag and runs a lap around the ring. Ryan offers to lay down and then jumps Morgan with the weakest forearms ever. The Carbon Footprint kills Ryan dead.

Rating: F. I have no idea what they were going for here, but it didn’t work. The fact that Ryan and Snow’s story was six months ago didn’t help at all here. I’m not sure what the rest of the story was supposed to be but whatever it was, it couldn’t have gone much worse. Absolutely terrible here and the last thing this show needed.

Joseph Park says he’s very tired but it was awesome to team with Roode. He doesn’t remember how they won at all though. Park also has no idea how a gauntlet match works.

Al Snow (in an interview clearly taped before the match as he looks perfectly fine) says he got his revenge on Ryan, which is worth more than the money.

We look back at the six matches to recap things.

Gauntlet Battle Royal

It’s basically a 12 man Royal Rumble meaning you eliminate people by going over the top and the winner get the money. Storm is #1 and Roode is #2. I think there are two minute intervals between entrants here. Roode sends him into the corner to start and pounds away as the announcers make thinly veiled references to the Royal Rumble. Storm comes back with an atomic drop and a backdrop before pounding away in the corner. Roode holds off elimination until D-Von is #3. That would put the intervals at about 90 seconds.

Storm gets double teamed for the entire time as Doc is #4. Seriously, there was nothing to talk about in that whole stretch. The bikers beat on the former Beer Money as Tazz asks what kind of a roller coaster he is. Storm gets up a boot in the corner and D-Von is in trouble. A double suplex puts Doc down and a double clothesline puts him out. D-Von clotheslines both guys down and Jesse Godderz is #5.

D-Von chokes Storm in the corner as Roode beats on Godderz. Bobby tries to put Storm out but Jesse the idiot breaks it up. Christian York is #6 as everyone fights each other. D-Von takes turns beating on Godderz and York as Beer Money continues their eternal feud. Joseph Park is #7 and appears to be sweating before he makes it to the ring. Now the intervals are at two minutes.

Roode offers an alliance with Park but kicks him in the ribs instead. Park runs him over before pounding on York in the corner, only to be hit low by D-Von. We’re into your standard battle royal formula here: a lot of stomping and punching near the ropes with the occasional attempted elimination. Mr. Anderson is #8 and still showing no indication of being part of Aces and 8’s here. He chops Jesse and hands him to Park for the easy elimination.

Now Anderson goes after Park for a bit before heading towards D-Von. The camera cuts away and once we go back, it’s Anderson working on Storm. Nice editing there. Park has D-Von in trouble in the corner but he sneaks back in. Daniels is #9 and you know he’s strutting on the way to the ring. He and Roode team up to have Park in trouble but an eye rake keeps the big man safe. Daniels is the only one doing much at the moment as we’re firmly in the battle royal lull.

Samoa Joe is #10 and he goes right for Daniels with rapid fire right hands. Now he’s after D-Von as Tazz freaks out. York and Daniels both survive elimination attempts and not a lot else happens at the moment. Rob Terry is #11 which means Morgan is #12. Terry starts cleaning house with clotheslines and throws out York to clear some space. Daniels joins York on the floor at Terry’s hands before Anderson misses a charge and goes out as well.

Here’s Morgan at #12, giving us a final grouping of Storm, Roode, D-Von, Park, Joe, Terry and Morgan. Terry tells Morgan to bring it on but D-Von and Park break up the staredown. Now it’s Park vs. Morgan and Joseph is out before I can finish typing that. Joe gets a running start at Morgan but is easily tossed out as well to get us down to five. A very low blow from Morgan is enough to eliminate Terry so we’ve got D-Von, Roode, Storm and Morgan.

Speaking of Morgan, he misses the Carbon Footprint and hits the ropes, allowing Storm to forearm him out. With the referee not looking, Knux of Aces and 8’s comes out and pulls Roode through the ropes and out to the floor. Knux tries to cheat again but D-Von hits him by mistake, allowing Storm to toss D-Von. Roode throws Storm over but makes the eternal mistake of not watching him the floor. One Last Call later and Storm wins the money.

Rating: D+. It’s a battle royal. What else do you want me to say here? It followed the same plot that almost all matches like this one follow, meaning it was ok once in awhile but for the most part there’s nothing of note to see. Storm winning is fine, although I’m really getting tired of people going bell to bell in battle royals. We get it: it’s something impressive. Let it rest already.

Lots of beer is consumed and Storm gets a massive check. He says the drinks are on him tonight and sorry about all the losers’ luck.

Apparently the next one of these is Hardcore Justice, which will include a Team 3D reunion and the return of some old hardcore guys, including Homicide, Hardcore Holly (he was never in TNA was he?) and…..Jackie Moore. DANG IT ALL!!!!!

Overall Rating: D+. As is going to be the case with these shows, the overall rating is a bit lighter than on other shows. At the end of the day, these shows are nothing of note and are there to fill in a spot. It was $15 for an HD PPV that runs over two and a half hours, so how much can you really complain? The concept is just ok and the ending is nothing special, but I’ve seen FAR worse PPVs. X-Travaganza was better though, and I can’t see many dropping lower than this one.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:




On This Day: April 5, 2012 – Impact Wrestling: Storm Was Fighting AJ A Year Ago Too

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 5, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

This is a different kind of show as I have no idea what’s coming here. Due to the WWE being in Orlando this week, the only recappers that care enough about Impact were at Raw and Smackdown, so there aren’t any spoilers coming in this week. It’s kind of a nice change of pace and I’m curious to see what happens when I don’t know what to expect. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s ending with Hogan becoming the new GM.

The roster is around ringside and here’s Hulk to address them. He thanks Sting for having his back and talks about meeting with creative earlier today. There’s going to be a lot of new stuff coming up but first of all, let’s talk about Lockdown. Hogan makes Morgan vs. Crimson and it ends there. As for the Knockouts, there’s a Knockouts Championship Challenge to determine the #1 contender, whatever that means.

Hogan calls out Eric Bischoff but Flair says he’s not here. Flair says no one tells him anything so Hogan says get Eric here. Here’s Roode who says he’s right on time. Roode says that his only obligation is Lockdown so he’s out of here. Hogan says hang on a minute and calls Anderson into the ring. He makes Roode vs. Anderson tonight because it’s what the people want. As for Angle, he won’t be wrestling Hardy at Lockdown. That draws booing, so he’s wrestling Hardy tonight. Actually RIGHT NOW! As in after a break!

Jeff Hardy vs. Kurt Angle

Hardy hooks an armbar to start and Kurt has some issues breaking it. Instead of wrestling he goes to the eyes but Hardy whips off a headscissors to send Kurt to the floor. There’s a slingshot dropkick and they brawl to the outside. Kurt is busted open. Kurt pounds Jeff down and we take a break. Back with Jeff hitting a great Whisper in the Wind to put both guys down. Twist is countered into the Rolling Germans with Kurt trapping Jeff’s left arm.

Jeff comes back with a Twisting Stunner but as he sets for the Swanton, Kurt runs the corner and hits the belly to belly. There’s the ankle lock but Jeff counters and hits a mule kick to put Angle down. Kurt grabs the referee to prevent the Swanton and tries to get Jeff to jump into a low blow but it’s avoided. Twist is countered again and Angle goes to the floor where he takes the countout at 12:54.

Rating: B-. This was getting good until the ending. I’d bet money on the rematch happening in ten days anyway (namely because I saw the rematch being made before I wrote this rating) because the idea of making people pay to see the match is a stupid idea in wrestling right? Good match until the bad ending.

Hogan runs into Angle in the back and makes the rematch for Lockdown in ten days. I give up.

Flair gets Eric on the phone and says get here.

Ray is trending apparently and says he’ll be the next world champion. He’s going to take care of Aries next.

Ray is in the ring and says he’s eaten chicken wings bigger than Aries. Here’s the X Champion who quiets the crowd down and the blasts Ray with the mic. He pounds Ray in the corner and the beating is on. He goes for ten punches in the corner but Ray hits a HUGE powerbomb out of the corner.

Joseph Park is looking in catering for Abyss. No luck again. He needs to find someone soon.

AJ is praising Storm when Storm pops up. Storm has to have a match tonight and he wants it to be with the best. Storm vs. AJ later. Geez think they’re stacking this show enough?

Mickie James vs. Winter vs. Tara vs. Angelina Love vs. Madison Rayne vs. Velvet Sky

I think this is one fall. Angelina and Madison start and everyone runs in to break up the pins. Mickie replaces Madison and gets two off a neckbreaker. Side slam gets the same for Angelina. Velvet tags herself in and hits a low dropkick. Rayne and Love get in an argument as Tara comes in. The spinning side slam gets two and it’s off to Mickie vs. Velvet. Madison knocks Mickie down before she gets in and we go to the parade of finishers which culminates with Velvet hitting In Yo Face on Mickie for the pin at 7:08.

Rating: D+. I know I’m underrating these most of the time but I don’t care about women’s wrestling most of the time. Nothing to see here but at least they’re getting back to Velvet who is the most popular of the Knockouts. I don’t think Winter was ever in the match which is sad as I love that pale British thing.

Anderson says he’ll beat Roode when the champ and his security come in.

Storm and Hardy were at some country music awards.

Off to Eric Young’s bachelor party. They have suckers, non-alcoholic beer and a fantasy baseball draft. ODB comes in with alcohol and chicken wings. This goes nowhere.

James Storm vs. AJ Styles

Feeling out process for the first few minutes of the match. They fight over headlocks and AJ keeps looking for the kick. AJ takes it to the mat and goes for the leg but Storm runs. Did Styles add a submission that I don’t remember? Styles is sent to the corner and Storm hits a running enziguri from the apron. He goes up but AJ hits an enziguri of his own. AJ goes up but gets caught in a wicked Eye of the Storm for two. He tries the Closing Time but AJ blocks it and tries a figure four. That gets him nowhere so Styles tries the backflip into the reverse DDT, only for Storm to duck and kick AJ’s head off for the pin at 6:38.

Rating: C+. Pretty good match here and that was an AWESOME superkick. The look on Styles’ face after he gets up is great as he looks like he got hit by a bus. This is what Storm needs before the main event at Lockdown: clean wins over big names. AJ isn’t going to get a main event push anytime soon so have him put people over like this.

Storm wants Roode in the ring next week.

Hogan tells Sting to take the time to get healthy because he needs Sting.

Storm celebrates with Montgomery Gentry, a country act. He leaves and Roode/security come up and the champ spits water at them.

Motorcity Machineguns vs. Mexican America

Here’s their big return. Shelley and Anarquia start things off with the Guns controlling early. Sabin comes in as does Hernandez. The speed takes over with a bulldog for two and it’s back to Shelley for some more double teaming. Shelley’s tornado DDT is broken up but we get quick heel miscommunication. The Guns speed things up and finish with Skull and Bones at 4:19.

Rating: C. This was just a squash as the Guns were clearly never in any danger. The thing is I don’t know what they’re supposed to do other than a feud with Joe and Magnus, as the division is about two teams deep at this point. They’re still fun to watch but there’s no Beer Money to feud with. I’m glad they’re back though.

Bischoff gets here and Flair whines about Hogan.

Back from a break and Hulk is in the ring, calling out Eric. Eric talks about how no one would predict that this would happen in the year 2012: Bischoff vs. Hogan. Eric says there are a lot of differences between the two of them but the big one is Hogan isn’t a leader. Hogan isn’t a leader of men like Eric is.

Hulk makes Team Garrett vs. Team Eric at Lockdown in Lethal Lockdown. Oh sweet merciful goodness he’s captaining the team for the namesake match at the second biggest show of the year. If Eric’s team wins, Garrett is off the roster forever. If Garrett’s team wins, Eric is gone….and he can never use the Eric Bischoff name again. How exactly can he do that? I mean….it’s his name.

Video on Storm training.

Mr. Anderson vs. Bobby Roode

Unless there’s an overrun which there hasn’t been in months, this is going to be a pretty short match. The security gets thrown out before the match and Anderson jumps Roode in the aisle. Anderson takes over quickly but the champ takes him down. We’re told that next week there’s a best of three series for the man advantage in Lethal Lockdown.

Roode runs his mouth about being the champ and walks into a powerslam for two. Fisherman’s suplex is countered as is Anderson’s neckbreaker. There goes the referee and Anderson hits the rolling fireman’s carry slam. Roode steals a beer from what appeared to be an 8 year old’s hands and the bottle goes across Anderson’s head for the pin at 4:11.

Rating: C. I’m trying to get over that kid. Seriously he looked like he was 11 at oldest. The match was nothing special but given just over four minutes there was only so much that they could do. Not much to see to it and the post match stuff doesn’t really mean much. Anderson is in the main event jobber role now which is about where he belongs.

Hogan and Storm come out post match and Hogan reverses the decision. Roode doesn’t seem to care.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a significantly better show than the last two, but I don’t like what it looks like they’re doing. It looks like they’re stacking the TV shows to get the TV ratings up which is fine short term but it’s a bad idea for the long term. I’m not wild on Hogan as GM but if we get rid of Bischoff in two weeks I’m good. This was a good show for the most part, but I’m not sure I like where things are heading.

Results
Jeff Hardy b. Kurt Angle via countout
Velvet Sky b. Angelina Love, Mickie James, Winter, Madison Rayne and Tara – In Yo Face to James
James Storm b. AJ Styles – Last Call
Motor City Machineguns b. Mexican America – Skull and Bones to Anarquia
Mr. Anderson b. Bobby Roode via DQ when Roode hit Anderson with a beer bottle

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and check out my book on the History of the WWE Championship on Amazon at:




On This Day: February 9, 2012 – Impact Wrestling: TNA Does Star Wars. Seriously.

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 9, 2012
Location: Wembley Arena, London, England
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Against All Odds and the final show in England. These shows are always fun because you get a much better crowd before we head back to Orlando on Sunday and the crowd that could put a Nick Bockwinkle promo to sleep. We’ll probably get a few more matches to flesh out the card tonight and remember there’s no Hardy due to travel issues. Let’s get to it.

Oh and it’s the Star Wars episode. This could mean ANYTHING.

We open with the Star Wars theme and shots of Qui-Gon Jin and Obi-Wan preparing to face droids. This is put together with hogan returning last week. We also talk about the four way a bit.

Here’s Ray to open the show who says he wants to talk to Bobby Roode and only Bobby Roode right now. Ray isn’t happy. Here’s Roode and Ray says cut his music. He meets Roode in the aisle and wants to know why Roode hasn’t had his back at all. Ray says he had Roode’s back against Storm but where was Roode for him? He says that Roode has the title because Ray has kept it on him.

Roode says he’s had Ray’s back and Ray says that’s true, but last time he put a knife in it. Bobby says their problems are both with Sting and here comes the scorpion enthusiast. Sting declares himself the special enforcer at the PPV and also, tonight it’s going to be the two of them against Storm and himself.

Hogan and Garrett arrive.

We recap the AJ/Daniels/Kaz story with Kaz being forced to turn on AJ due to some form of control that Daniels has over him.

Christopher Daniels vs. AJ Styles

These two must be approaching Sheik vs. Bobo Brazil lengths of a feud. Daniels jumps him quickly but AJ knocks him to the floor and hits a great flipping dive. Coming back in AJ dives over the top and almost gets the Styles Clash but Daniels kicks him away. Daniels tries to pull out a foreign object but the referee sees him trying it. Daniels throws it to Kaz which the referee misses. AJ gets knocked to the floor as Daniels takes over. Back in a clothesline gets two.

Daniels hooks what appears to be a nerve hold and the fans are split. AJ gets in an enziguri to put Daniels down. Christopher goes over to Kaz for the foreign object but Kaz doesn’t throw it in. Styles hits his moonsault into a reverse DDT and the springboard forearm. The Clash is countered again into a release Rock Bottom. BME misses but Daniels lands on his feet. Pele puts Daniels down but this time Kaz gives him the object. AJ tries to load up the Clash but as he pulls Daniels up, Daniels pops him with the knucks for the pin at 5:46.

Rating: B-. I really liked this match, probably a lot more than most AJ vs. Daniels matches. This feud has been done to death so if they have to do it again, I’m glad they’re adding in a new factor to it. The object was a fine little plot point to the match and it worked very well for this. Good match and far more entertaining than what they usually do in my eyes.

Gunner tells Bischoff he’ll protect him later.

Here are Joe and Magnus. Magnus talks about being back in the UK and how he has nothing against most parts of it. Tonight however, they’re not in Her Majesty’s UK. They’re in England. Tonight he’s come home and he’s brought his partner with him. A few months ago there was a Wild Card Tag Team Tournament and everyone said this wouldn’t work. However, they’ve proven everyone wrong. As for Morgan and Crimson, the only reason they’re a team is so they don’t have to face each other. At Against All Odds, they’ll win the titles.

Here are the champions and they say the time for talking is done. The champs clear the ring very quickly, running over Magnus and Joe as they have every time that it’s been on a level playing field. Joe pulls Magnus out before the double chokeslam takes him out.

Austin Aries vs. Doug Williams vs. Alex Shelley

This is non-title. Aries is sent to the floor so Williams and Shelley do their own thing for a few moments. Sliced Bread is countered and Williams goes after Shelley’s knee. Aries slides back as Shelley hits the floor. Doug dives on Shelley and Aries dives on Doug to put everyone down. Aries tries a superplex on Williams but Shelley comes back in and tries a Doomsday Device, but Aries escapes. Pendulum Elbow takes WAY too long to launch and Shelley moves. Chaos Theory to Shelley hits but Aries kicks Williams low to break it up. Shelley countered the brainbuster and hits Sliced Bread for the pin at 4:45.

Rating: C+. Fun match and it was a good way to have Shelley get momentum going into Sunday and his title shot. Williams is a guy you can bring in for something like this and it works well. They flew around the ring a bit and got the crowd going, which is what the cruiserweight style guys are supposed to do.

Hogan is talking to Garrett in the back when Sting comes in. Sting and Hogan are all cool and Hogan asks Garrett to step out for a minute. Hogan says Sting has a target on him and everyone is coming for him. If Sting needs Hulk’s help, he’ll have it. Sting says he likes the sound of that and Hogan says something is going to go down. The cameraman is thrown out before that gets explained.

Video of the fans talking about how much the love Impact.

Here’s a video from earlier today with Tara at the arena. She’s filming stuff when Gail comes in and beats her up. They go into the arena so as not to draw cops I suppose with Gail destroying her. She leaves Tara laying.

Quick video from Hogan talking about how TNA is this close to being the best in the world.

Here are Hulk and Garrett with Hulk talking about how these are the best fans in the world. Hogan talks about everything the fans have given to him over the years and how now he wants the fans to give all of that to Garrett now. And the fans just do not care one bit. There’s a canned pop and it still sounds weak. Hogan blames Eric for a lot of Garrett’s problems and here’s the papa now.

Eric and Gunner come out and Eric wants to know who Hogan thinks he is to get in Eric’s family business. Hogan says it’s not Eric’s time anymore. Eric says it’s not Hogan’s time anymore and that Hogan has no right to be here. Hogan says Eric doesn’t get it and that he has the Hulkamania Stroke around here. He talked to Sting and Hogan has booked Garrett vs. Gunner at the PPV. There’s more to it but Gunner and Garrett get into a fight. Eric hits Hogan low and down goes Garrett. Hogan gets up and clears the ring, still making Garrett look like a guy that is in way over his head and has to be saved. Garrett hits his dad and that’s about it.

Ray is mad at Roode and yells some more about Roode not having his back. Roode says they’ll be ok and wants a hug. Ray hugs him and says three days.

Hey it’s Hogan and Garrett again. Hulk says that they’ll put an end to Eric’s time in this business so Garrett can have a future. How exactly is Eric stopping that?

Mickie James vs. Velvet Sky

The announcers talk about Star Wars and Princess Leia in particular. The girls are a bit sloppy with Velvet barely holding onto a side roll. Mickie sends her into the corner and the fans are booing this somewhat. Headscissors puts Mickie down but she pops up and hits a low dropkick for two. Mickie hooks a seated abdominal stretch and the fans still don’t care. Velvet comes back and drives Mickie into both knees one at a time. Taz talks about pigeons and both girls reverse each others’ finishers. Velvet rolls Mickie up for the pin with a small package at 5:18.

Rating: D. This was a terrible match as both of them were missing things very rapidly. Also was there any point to this match being on the show? I can’t think of one other than to get hot women in the ring. That’s certainly good enough of a reason but it doesn’t do much for the sake of storylines.

Video on the UK tour so far.

Video on the PPV main event with all four of them talking about the match. There’s a ton of time left too.

Sting/James Storm vs. Bobby Roode/Bully Ray

Sting and Roode start us off and Sting quickly takes him down and puts on the Scorpion in less than two minutes. Ray comes in but Sting avoids the big boot. Off to Storm and the ring is cleared as we take a break. Back with Ray demanding Storm get in and here’s the Cowboy. The announcers talk about how there’s been no sign of Abyss since Genesis, which is a point I had forgotten about.

Storm takes over and winds up for awhile before poking Ray in the eye. Back to Sting as the dominance continues. The heels finally take over and work on the injured ribs of Storm. Roode comes in with a body vice and slams Storm into the mat before Storm can make the tag. Off to a bearhug which Storm breaks up with a poke to the eye. A Russian legsweep takes Ray down and it’s off to Sting vs. Roode.

He beats on Ray as well as house is cleaned. Both guys get splashes but a second to Roode misses. Sting calls on his memories with Flair and slams Roode off for two. Roode’s head goes onto Ray’s balls to send Ray to the outside. Spinebuster gets two on Sting but the fisherman’s suplex is countered. Death Drop puts Roode down and the Deathlock goes on. Ray looks to save but Ray say see you in three days. Roode taps at 15:14.

Rating: C. Yes, the world champion just tapped out clean to the part time wrestler/boss in the middle of the ring three days before a PPV. I’ve got nothing. I’m sure the TNA fanboys will explain to me how this is a brilliant move and foreshadows something or other, but I REALLY do not get who this benefits whatsoever. Was there a reason Storm couldn’t have gotten a pin here? Like ANY reason? I’m needing some help here because I don’t get it at all.

Overall Rating: B-. I really liked tonight’s show and it did a great job of building up Against All Odds. I still really don’t like the overpushing of Bischoff but that’s life in TNA anymore. The main event on Sunday is a pretty wide open field which is something you rarely get in wrestling anymore. Good show here and hopefully that means good things for Against All Odds on Sunday. Also, thank goodness the Star Wars stuff didn’t mean anything.

Results
Christopher Daniels b. AJ Styles – Pin after Daniels hit Styles with brass knuckles
Alex Shelley b. Austin Aries and Doug Williams – Sliced Bread #2 to Aries
Velvet Sky b. Mickie James – Small Package
Sting/James Storm b. Bobby Roode/Bully Ray – Scorpion Deathlock to Roode

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Impact Wrestling – February 7, 2013: They Can’t Even Win A Glorified Handicap Match

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 7, 2013
Location: Manchester Arena, Manchester, England
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz, Todd Keneley

We’re still in England for the second of four shows. The main story at the moment is that Garret Bischoff and Wes Brisco FINALLY joined Aces and 8’s, shocking a total of no one. Other than that we’re on the Road to Lockdown which is four weeks from Sunday. That being said, we need a #1 contender. Oh and we’ve got Ray/Sting vs. Aces and 8’s in a tables match tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Hogans/Ray and Aces and 8’s.

Here are the bikers to open the show. Most of them are sans masks now and I can’t say I’m any more impressed. Could it be because they NEVER WIN ANYTHING??? We get a video on Aces and 8’s beating up Angle over the last few weeks. Apparently Wes and Garrett have been on the team for awhile now. Yeah I’m stunned too. Garrett says this is his new family and Brisco complains about being introduced in a Gut Check match. D-Von isn’t worried about the tables match because Aces and 8’s have an ace up their sleeve.

Tara and Jesse annoy Brooke so it’s Tara vs. Tessmacher tonight.

X-Division Title: Kenny King vs. Zema Ion vs. Rob Van Dam

Hey look: a triple threat! RVD is defending and gets double teamed to start. Since Zema Ion sucks though, King turns on him and sends both he and Van Dam to the floor. A corkscrew dive by King takes both guys down and one from Ion….mostly misses both guys. Back in and a missile dropkick takes King down but Van Dam comes back in almost immediately. King sends Ion to the floor again but RVD takes him down.

Ion breaks up Rolling Thunder and hits a middle rope tornado DDT for two. King and Ion go at it a bit with Ion hitting a flipping facebuster for two. Ion takes King down again for two more as the champion is on the floor. This is basically a one on one match with Van Dam popping in every now and then. King hits a pair of running knees to the ribs of Ion followed by a northern lights suplex, but RVD comes in with the Five Star to take out King and follows with the pin on Ion at 5:54.

Rating: C. The match was ok but what difference does this make at all? There’s almost no story to it and the division is lucky to get a segment every two weeks. You pretty much saw the entire division out there in one match here, and that’s a really bad sign. Bring some fresh blood into this thing or drop it already, because this is nothing worth seeing at all.

We get a package on TNA British Boot Camp, which is their version of Gut Check. A 5’3 guy named Rockstar Spud wins.

We look at the opening promo from Wes and Garrett earlier. It’s still not impressive.

Bruce Prichard talks to D’Lo about Brisco sneaking on via Gut Check. I’m still thinking this isn’t going to live up to whatever it’s supposed to be.

Jesse comes out to run his mouth bout James Storm interrupts. Blah blah blah, I’m going to kick you in the face then drink, ring the bell.

James Storm vs. Jesse Godderz

Jesse takes over to start but Storm comes back with punches and a knee to the ribs followed by the Eye of the Storm. An enziguri from the corner sets up a running neckbreaker for no cover. Last Call ends this at 3:04.

Rating: D. Seriously, is there NO ONE ELSE that Storm can feud with? The guy is over like free beer in a frat house and he’s stuck beating up Jesse Godderz. I know the match with Roode at BFG wasn’t that big but it’s a bigger deal than what Storm is getting now. Nothing match here as Godderz continues to be decent, but Storm is WAY out of his league.

Tag Titles: Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez vs. Austin Aries/Bobby Roode

The Texans are defending and dear goodness please let the titles change tonight. Chavo and Roode start things off with the champion taking over with some headscissors to start. Aries comes in but runs into Hernandez who scares him away. SuperMex puts Aries on the top rope so Austin cartwheels away. Roode tells a posing Aries to turn around and there’s the delayed vertical, but Roode makes the save.

A double suplex with Chavo helping out puts the challengers down and there’s a slingshot hilo onto Aries. Roode pulls Chavo to the floor but the suicide dive misses, sending Bobby into the barricade. We take a break and come back with Roode breaking up a cover by Hernandez. Chavo chops away on Aries in the corner and it’s back to Hernandez. A running splash gets two for Hernandez and here’s Guerrero ago.

Roode finally cheats a bit and hits Chavo in the back so Aries can hit a discus forearm to take down Chavo and give the heels control. Tazz, now part of a team, goes on a rant about how much being in a tag team sucks before talking about how much he loves Aces and 8’s. Off to Roode again for a chinlock as Tazz talks about sitting on a boil. Ok then. A top rope double ax hits Chavo on the floor and gets two for Austin back inside.

We hit a LONG chinlock by Roode before Aries comes in with some cheating. Chavo fights up and it’s a double clothesline to put both guys down. There’s the hot tag to Hernandez who cleans house, only to have Roode pull his own partner into the slingshout shoulder from Hernandez. SuperMex destroys Roode but Aries escapes Three Amigos. The heels are rammed together and Roode walks out, only to return as Aries hits Hernandez low. The spinebuster to Chavo sets up the 450 from Aries for the pin and the titles at 17:29.

Rating: B. I don’t like the challengers but this was a very solid tag match. If nothing else these two will actually be interesting instead of just sitting around doing nothing at all. This had a long heel in peril segment which you hardly ever see anymore. Good match here and nice to see a LONG TV match that means something.

Hulk and Ray have a chat about Ray being a good guy. He says he isn’t and he’ll prove it against Aces and 8’s.

Video on AJ’s career falling apart.

Tara vs. Miss Tessmacher

Jesse is barred from ringside and this is non-title. Tara keeps looking back for Jesse and screaming his name. A few headlocks put Tessmacher down but she comes back with the stupid Stink Face. Tara tries to bail but comes back in for the spinning side slam for two. The Widow’s Peak doesn’t work so it’s off to a full nelson instead. Tara hooks a chinlock for a bit before Tessmacher comes back and hits a Tess Shock out of nowhere for the pin at 5:26.

Rating: D+. I don’t like them, this match has been done to death, the girls still look good, and the division is still dying before our very eyes. What is the point of these random matches? To set up Tessmacher vs. Tara for the title again? You know, such a FRESH match as that, which we NEVER see anymore?

Here’s Rockstar Spud to debut before the crowd. He gives a standard “I made it and this is my dream” promo before the Rob’s come out to interrupt. Robbie E sends Big Rob to take him out but Big Rob steps aside to let Spud hit Robbie in the face, furthering the face turn. Big Rob does the fist pump.

Sting and Brooke do nothing of note.

We recap the bikers taking out Hardy’s knee.

Sting/Bully Ray vs. D-Von/Doc

Tables match here and the TNA guys have face paint on ala Sting. The bikers are in trouble to start as Tazz goes on a rant about how the other bikers need to come out here for the save. This is still a big brawl for the most part with nothing from Aces and 8’s about two minutes in. Ray hits a Stinger Splash on D-Von in the corner and shakes the rails on the floor. Sting hits one as well and we take a break.

Back with Doc getting kicked down by Ray but the Bully misses an elbow. A big boot puts Ray on the floor and the guys pair off. Since it’s an Aces and 8’s match though, they get beaten down again and here are the tables. The bikers come back and try a double suplex through the table but Ray makes the save again.

Ray fights both of them off but gets sent to the floor for his efforts. Sting is loaded onto the table again but Ray pulls his brother to the floor. Sting crotches Doc on the top and it’s a superplex…not through the table as Knox moves the wood. Sting fights them both off (duh) and Ray hulks up before sending D-Von through a table for the win at 14:07.

Rating: C-. It’s a tag team tables match so what am I supposed to say here? These matches are almost always the same and it was clear that the bikers weren’t going to win because that’s just not what they do. This is clearly setting up Lockdown where hopefully this team is done for good.

The Hogans come out to celebrate of course, despite having nothing to do with this whatsoever.

Overall Rating: C+. This was decent but at the end of the day, Aces and 8’s bring nothing to the table (pun intended) whatsoever. They’re just not interesting and there’s nothing at all to them to make us believe they’re intimidating. They lose over and over again and they lose in the main event here. Other than that though the show was pretty solid stuff, even though it didn’t set up anything for Lockdown.

Results

Rob Van Dam b. Zema Ion and Kenny King – Van Dam pinned Ion after a northern lights suplex from King

James Storm b. Jesse Godderz – Last Call

Austin Aries/Bobby Roode b. Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez – 450 Splash to Guerrero

Miss Tessmacher b. Tara – Tess Shocker

Sting/Bully Ray b. D-Von/Doc – Ray chokeslammed D-Von through a table

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and check out my ebook on Amazon at http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00B9K3POI




On This Day: February 2, 2012 – Impact Wrestling: Back When Impact Was Awesome

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 2, 2012
Location: Wembley Arena, London, England
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

I was going to make a bunch of jokes about being in England tonight but I’ll try to find something funny to say instead. We have two shows in London before heading back to Orlando for Against All Odds on the 12th. I don’t think many matches have been announced officially yet but for the most part you can guess a lot of them which is fine. These shows outside of the Impact Zone are always interesting, so let’s get to it.

We open with a video of the fans who talk about how awesome wrestling is.

Hogan will be back tonight.

Roode and Ray open the show. The place looks great. Ray talks about how the fans aren’t going to see Hardy tonight because they took care of him last week. I think that was done because Hardy has visa issues due to the legal history. Roode says it’s great to be back in Ireland. He insists it’s not them that sucks and praises himself and Ray. I think the fans are chanting for D-Von.

Roode calls out Storm and here’s the Cowboy. Ray gets between them and there’s Sting’s music. The ring looks a lot smaller than usual. Sting says he talked to Hardy yesterday and Jeff will be back at Against All Odds. Sting announces the four way main event that I think we all knew was coming for the title at the PPV. As for tonight, Storm gets both of them in singles matches.

Garrett calls his trainer who will be here tonight.

Samoa Joe/Magnus vs. Crimson/Matt Morgan

Non-title here and it’s a Buckingham Brawl which is a new twist on things: there’s a coin flip to start and the winners get to be in the ring without having to tag, meaning it’s a handicap match in a way. Crimson starts and the numbers game starts up quick. The non-champions dominate for the opening minutes with a power/speed combination.

They set for their double team combination out of the corner but Crimson takes Joe down and Magnus jumps into a suplex. Hot tag brings in Morgan and everything breaks down. Crimson is sent to the floor and the Carbon Footprint misses in the corner. That allows Joe and Magnus to hit their finishing sequence on Morgan and the middle rope elbow gets the pin at 3:56.

Rating: C. Quick match but this was a good way to let Magnus/Joe get one up on the champs. Crimson and Morgan have beaten them I think twice now so why should we buy them having a real chance again? The rule twist was a nice addition and it lets the champs save some face. Decent match and the crowd was way into it.

Eric Bischoff is here.

Here’s Eric in the ring. A kid flips him off at ringside. Eric says he thought the British people were civilized. He says he’s here to burst the bubble of Garrett with a little dose of reality. Eric asks Garrett to come to the ring and then demands it. The arena is a very different setup as the entrance is on the hard camera side, making it almost like the old MSG setup for those of you familiar with it.

Garrett gets here and Eric tells him that no matter who is training him (remember that Eric knows who it is) it’s not going to matter because Garrett is never going to be good enough. Garrett asks why Eric doesn’t take it up with the trainer and Eric says that the trainer will never be here. The trainer (presumably) calls Garrett and Garrett doesn’t look that pleased. The trainer is here tonight and wants to speak with Eric.

Mark Haskins, a British guy that was in some X-Division series that was put on last year, talks about how he’s here to do whatever it takes to win. He says he’ll win the title.

Mark Haskins vs. Austin Aries

This is non-title I believe. The entire front row has its back to the ring for somer eason. Aries takes him to the mat and the fans still like Aries more than the hometown boy. Haskins is sent over the top but he skins the cat into a headscissors to take over. Aries skins the cat as well but Haskins dropkicks him down. Haskins sets for a plancha but Aries slides in. A springboard attempt is countered, resulting in Haskins being crotched.

A top rope shot to the floor takes him down even more and the fans are all for Aries. Back in and Haskins gets crotched again. A low dropkick misses and Haskins starts his comeback. A monkey flip puts Aries down but a second is countered. Haskins nips up and runs the ropes for a springboard crossbody. A cutter gets two on the champ.

Haskins goes up for a Shooting Star and lands Lesnar style, landing right on his head. Since he’s pretty much dead, Aries hits the brainbuster and holds onto him, flipping over to hook kind of a dragon sleeper hold but with Aries behind and under Haskins and pulling back on him for the tap at 4:45.

Rating: C+. Aside from the near neck breaking botch, this was a fun match. Haskins is fast but you would think he would get cheered in his hometown. I don’t know if that’s more praise for Aries or a bad thing about Haskins, although I’m leaning towards the former more than the latter. Good match though.

Eric Bischoff is yelling on the phone about getting a cab and Sting comes to bring him back inside.

James Storm vs. Bobby Roode

Feeling out process to start and Storm takes over. He takes Roode to the mat but the champ heads to the floor to avoid a Last Call. We take a break and come back with Storm hitting a facebuster but walking into a clothesline. There’s going to be a Star Wars Special next week. As long as it’s not the Holiday Special I’m all good with that. Spinebuster gets two. Storm comes back and they slug it out.

Roode goes up top but Storm gets in a big right hand to slow him down. Storm’s trunks have something that looks like the Brahma Bull on it. Storm snaps off a rana to send both guys down. Storm starts his real comeback and hits a Backstabber for no cover. Top rope elbow gets two.

Russian legsweep by Storm is countered into the Crossface but Storm rolls into the ropes. Roode sets for the Payoff but Storm counters into the Eye of the Storm but Roode counters as well. There’s the Payoff but it only gets two. Storm comes back with a Codebreaker to avoid a belt shot. He loads up the Last call but here’s Ray to break it up. That opening allows Roode to spear Storm for the pin at 13:50.

Rating: B-. If I never see another spear it’ll be too soon. This was a good match between two guys that should be facing each other for the title in a big time PPV program but that spot goes to Hardy because Storm never got high during a PPV and made the company look like a joke. Quite a good TV match though.

Post match Ray gives Storm a Rock Bottom onto the title belt. Sting makes the save.

Tara vs. Gail Kim

Tara is #1 contender but from what I can tell, this is non-title. Tara takes over to start and strips her top off for the standing moonsault. Gail takes over with some choking and a knee to the back for two. She hooks a leg lock by bending Tara’s leg over Gail’s neck then a clothesline gets two.

Mike thinks if Tara beats Gail here, it might be an advantage for her going into the rematch at the PPV. A missile dropkick misses for Gail and Tara hammers away. Powerslam (called a snap slam by Tenay) gets two but Rayne runs in for the…not DQ. She ran into Gail but it doesn’t count for some reason. Widow’s Peak ends this at 4:57.

Rating: C-. The match was ok but I really don’t get the theory here. What purpose did this serve? Why not have Rayne take the loss here rather than giving us the match ten days before its on PPV? I really don’t get this company’s thinking at times but then again, why bother trying to get people to buy the TV show when you can give the matches away for free?

Here’s Garrett to reveal the trainer but Eric comes out with Gunner. Eric talks some trash and to not a ton of shock, Hogan is the trainer. The fans of course love him because he’s an old school guy and if you’re loved once, you’re always loved. Hogan and Garrett beat Gunner up for a bit while Eric stands there. Gunner is knocked to the floor and Eric is terrified and runs. Of all the people that Hogan could give a rub to, they picked Garrett Bischoff?

Hogan and Garrett talk about how they’re coming for Eric.

Bully Ray vs. James Storm

This is Storm’s second match of the night and he has bad ribs. Ray works on the injury with some hard shots before draping Storm over the top. Off to a camel clutch for a few moments and then a slam. Here comes Roode and we take a break. Back with Sting coming to the ring with a cricket bat and Ray holding Storm in a bearhug.

Ray lets that go and hits a big boot followed by some elbow drops for two. A splash gets the same. The middle rope backsplash misses and Storm starts his comeback. He wins a nice countering sequence on the apron and a middle rope cross body gets two. Ray tries to grab Storm but gets knocked into the referee. Sting chases Roode out of the ring and the Last Call beats Ray clean at 14:00.

Rating: C+. Not as good as earlier but it was nice to see someone using basic psychology here like Ray was doing. Storm getting a win keeps him strong which is something he needed going into the PPV. Not a great match or anything but Ray has really impressed me in his singles run.

Overall Rating: B. This was pretty good here as the pretty strong string of non-Orlando shows continues. This moved us towards the PPV and gave us a big development in the Bischoff feud. Now if you don’t care for the Bischoff feud or the main event, this wasn’t the show for you because that was the majority of the focus tonight. Hogan being back isn’t a bad thing but hopefully he actually gives someone a rub for a change. That talk of a Star Wars show next week though scares me.

Results
Magnus/Samoa Joe b. Crimson/Matt Morgan – Middle rope elbow to Morgan
Austin Aries b. Mark Haskins – Reverse Dragon Sleeper
Bobby Roode b. James Storm – Spear
Tara b. Gail Kim – Widow’s Peak
James Storm b. Bully Ray – Last Call

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




On This Day: January 26, 2012 – Impact Wrestling: Get The Tables

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 26, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Back to Orlando for another week of shows, but after this (next week I believe) they’re off to England. Anyway, we now don’t have a number one contender because of the interference last week. This is probably setting up a triple threat or a fatal fourway at the PPV, which isn’t what I’m wanting but it’s probably going to happen and that’s ok. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the whole issue from last week and how we have no #1 contender.

Jeff is beating up Ray in the back and rams him into a table a few times. Jeff chokes him with a broom and the fight keeps going. The cameraman chases after him and Ray gets in some weak shots. They go through a door and Hardy keeps beating him up. A white truck pulls up with Roode in it and he saves Ray by ramming Jeff into a sign. Ray gets a wooden pallet but opts for some metal thing instead. He drops the pallet on Jeff’s leg and then does it again. They throw him in the truck but Storm comes in for the save but is beaten down as well. Sting eventually chases everyone off. The sight of him sans paint scared them.

Velvet Sky vs. Mickie James vs. Tara

The winner gets Gail at Against All Odds. Tara uses the Matrish to avoid a clothesline so it hits Velvet. We get into the standard formula of two fight while the third is down. Tara and Mickie do most of the fighting as we take a break. Back with Velvet monkey flipping Tara but Mickie breaks up whatever she was trying with a neckbreaker on Sky. Velvet knocks them both down, then Mickie knocks them both down. Thesz Press gets two on Velvet and a spinning kick gets the same on Tara. Velvet breaks up the jumping DDT and Tara hits the spinning side slam on Velvet onto Mickie (as in Sky landed on Mickie) for the pin at 9:37.

Rating: D. I think I’m getting very biased against women’s wrestling, but I just do not care at all about it. It’s whoever is hot at the moment and that’s about it. It’s not like people really care about it but they get a ton of time anyway. I don’t get it but there’s no way around it. Either way, weak match here but Tara vs. Gail could be good.

Gail says bring it.

We see highlights of the opening brawl earlier.

Here are Sting, Storm and Hardy to no music. He asks for Roode and Ray to get out here and the fight continues. Sting holds the good guys back with the bat and tries to calm things down. He gets them apart and says stay on one side. They fight again and eventually it’s made into a tag team tables match for later. That would be better if it wasn’t announced in the clip before the show started.

Shelley is facing Zema Ion and if he wins he gets the shot at Aries at Against All Odds.

Eric Young is getting ready and thinks a stagehand is Sammy Davis Jr. Angelina and Winter come up and imply sex. And they Love hits him low but he’s wearing a cup.

Zema Ion vs. Alex Shelley

Shelley takes over to start and gets a rollup for two. Zema beats him into the corner and doesn’t want this on cameras. He comes out of the corner with a spinning body press for two. Reverse powerbomb by Shelley and a powerbomb puts Ion on the floor. They fly around a bit and Ion sets for the 450 but Shelley moves and Sliced Bread ends this at 4:26.

Rating: C. This was a standard cruiserweight match and that’s about it. Shelley is fun to watch but ever since they’ve changed the weight limit, the title feels very secondary and the matches and feuds have felt like filler instead of something that I should care about. Such is life in a company run by Bischoff and Hogan.

AJ says that this business has changed everyone and tonight, he’s finding out why Kaz is Daniels’ puppet.

Tara says she’ll be training harder than ever and can beat Gail.

Earlier today, Eric went to Garrett’s gym to find out who the trainer is. Eric goes in and sees who it is but sends the trainer away. He was freaked out by it.

Winter/Angelina Love vs. ODB/Eric Young

Eric locks up with the referee who winds up on the apron and is then brought in. Now he tags in Eric and gets locked up with. Mike calls this the Harlem Globetrotters of wrestling. I’ve seen the Harlem Globetrotters. Eric Young is no Globetrotter. Over two minutes in and no contact yet. Winter finally hits him so Eric strips. ODB finally comes in and I’ve never been happier to see her in my life.

A Bronco Buster is messed up and Angelina takes over a few seconds later. Off to Winter who puts her in the Tree of Woe which is an image I don’t need. ODB gets in a shot and Eric throws in the flask for….another shot I guess. There’s the fallaway slam and nip up. Far too much of this match has been spent showing her underwear. Eric comes in and we get stereo airplane spins. TKO ends Angelina at 7:00.

Rating: F. I know Eric Young is popular. I get that, but my goodness I’m not a fan of him at all. This got seven minutes which is a lot of time that could have been used for someone else. Also, there was far too much of ODB losing her clothes.

Ray and Roode fire each other up for the match later.

Video on the tag title feud with Joe/Magnus challenging the champs.

Samoa Joe vs. Matt Morgan

Joe strikes him into the corner to start but Morgan uses the power of choking and chopping to come back. Morgan plays to the crowd with the elbows but gets caught in the choke. He breaks it quickly and beats on Joe even more. Clothesline gets two. Joe gets a boot up in the corner and a middle rope leg lariat gives him control.

A running charge in the corner and a kick to the head get two. Morgan takes over again and hits some clotheslines. A side slam gets two. Hellevator takes too long to set up so Joe kicks him down and a backsplash gets two. Morgan gets back up and hits a discus clothesline for….three? Mike sounds just as surprised as I am but it got the pin at 4:48.

Rating: C-. This was just ok. It still amazes me how far Joe has fallen in just a few years. He’s floated from random feud to random feud for years now and I still am not clear as to why that’s happened. This feud continues the theory that tag wrestling is done in this country, at least for the time being.

The champs get beaten down with Morgan taking the double team finisher from Magnus and Joe.

Hardy and Storm say they’ll win with a boom.

AJ wants to get to the bottom of this with Kaz and knows Daniels is pulling the strings. Here are Daniels and Kaz and the latter can’t talk to AJ. Daniels talks about how AJ is always throwing a tantrum about something or other. He says Kaz doesn’t owe AJ a thing. AJ goes to the floor but Daniels and Kaz backpedal. Daniels calls AJ a thug so AJ says he’ll turn around and let Kaz take his head off.

Kaz goes to leave but Daniels directs him to go do it. He goes to the apron and can’t do it. Daniels goes in and AJ knocks him to the floor with ease. AJ says Kaz can get in here right now and shake his hand and we’ll forget all this. The idiots at the Impact Zone count for some reason as Kaz gets in. AJ sticks out his hand but Daniels says Kaz isn’t going to do that so he gets out. Daniels says he’s had it and says he’s going to propose AJ vs. Kaz.

Jeff Hardy/James Storm vs. Bobby Roode/Bully Ray

Tables match. They manage to stay calm during the big match intros. SO Sting with a ball bat isn’t enough to keep them apart but Jeremy Borash is? Weird company man. Beer Money explodes on a table as Ray tries to suplex Hardy through one, only for Jeff to hang onto the ropes with his feet. This is all on the floor. Storm spits beer in Roode’s face. Ray takes over on Hardy but Storm makes the save. We take a break with Ray taking a water bottle to the head.

Back with Ray hitting Hardy with a chair. Hardy slingshots Ray into a post and a table is sent into the ring. Storm and Hardy try to suplex Roode through the table but Ray moves the table then takes them both down. It’s one person going through the table to end it. Roode comes back and stomps Storm to the floor so it’s Roode and Hardy in the ring now.

A table is set up in the corner and Hardy is almost able to send Roode through it but Ray makes the save. Ray tries a big boot through Hardy through the table but Jeff moves, leaving a hole in the table. Codebreaker takes Ray out but a spinebuster takes out Storm. Ray puts Hardy’s head against the post and punches it for awhile.

Storm goes into the steps and Hardy is put on the table in the ring. Ray goes up but Storm kicks him down. Now Storm goes up and Roode loads up a superplex through the table but Jeff moves. Hardy pulls Roode down and hits a Twist so he can put Roode on the table. Storm elbows Roode through it to win at 14:00.

Rating: C+. Not a bad table match and it was pretty fun on top of that. I’d assume this will wind up being a fourway for the title which is fine and would be a good way to shift it over to Hardy. This was a fun way to end the show as table matches are always popular for some reason that I’ve never quite gotten.

Post match, Ray destroys the winners with a chair and Hardy is powerbombed through a table.

Overall Rating: C-. I’m not a fan of TNA lately. The stories are all there and mostly make sense, but nothing they’re doing is grabbing me. Pretty much it’s “this happens then this happens which leads us to this.” That’s fine, but it’s not going to get people excited about things. It’s not a bad show at all but it really isn’t all that interesting. I couldn’t get into it all night and was just wanting it to end, which isn’t a good thing.

Results
Tara b. Mickie James and Velvet Sky – Pinned James after a spinning side slam to Sky
Alex Shelley b. Zema Ion – Sliced Bread #2
ODB/Eric Young b. Angelina Love/Winter – TKO to Love
Matt Morgan b. Samoa Joe – Discus Clothesline
Jeff Hardy/James Storm b. Robert Roode/Bully Ray – Storm put Roode through a table

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Thought of the Day: More Proof Tag Wrestling Doesn’t Work Anymore

After the big push last year, we’re back down to HELL NO vs. the Scholars again and the same formula that has been used for years now.  At the end of the day, the division isn’t going to last long term and there’s really no way around that.  The TNA tag division is dead again now too with just the champions and apparently a thrown together team of two main eventers.




Genesis 2013: Aces and 8’s Are Inept, Hardy Is Champion, Everything Keeps Going Along

Genesis 2013
Date: January 13, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Todd Keneley, Tazz, Mike Tenay

It’s the first PPV of 2013 and the first PPV of a new system for TNA. Starting this year, the company is only going to have four traditional three hour shows a year, starting with Genesis here tonight. The main event is Hardy defending against Aries and Roode in a triple threat elimination match. The second biggest match is……Sting vs. Doc I guess? This isn’t the deepest card in the world. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about a new beginning. How original guys.

Tag Titles: Matt Morgan/Joey Ryan vs. Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez

Chavo and Hernandez are defending and I’m glad to see this match get done first as it’s probably the least interesting one on the card for me. I just don’t care about either team at all. Chavo and Joey get things going with the champion taking him into the corner to start, only to get caught in a slingshot to send him into Morgan’s forearm. Off to the big man who almost immediately tags Ryan in again.

Joey dropkicks Guerrero down but like an idiot won’t cover. Chavo rolls into the corner for the tag to Hernandez who hits a BIG backdrop (Keneley can’t remember what to call it) before facing off with Hernandez. Joey blasts Hernandez in the back to allow Morgan to take over. Off to Joey for some chest rubbing and a front facelock. Morgan comes back in for a single shot and it’s back to Ryan again.

Morgan’s discus lariat keeps Hernandez down and he laughs at Hernandez for not being able to tag out. Hernandez finally avoids a charge in the corner from Ryan and makes the tag, but naturally the referee doesn’t see it. Morgan and Ryan tag in and out some more to beat on SuperMex with Matt holding Hernandez up for Ryan to pound away. Joey hooks a lame neck crank which Hernandez easily breaks and follows up with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker.

Hot tag brings in Chavo to clean house with Three Amigos on Ryan. Everything breaks down and Chavo staggers Morgan with a missile dropkick. The champs hit a double dropkick to send Morgan staggering over Ryan before Hernandez hits a SICK (and mostly botched) sitout powerbomb on Joey. The Frog Splash retains the titles at 11:30.

Rating: C. The match was fine aside from Ryan nearly having his neck broken. Ryan and Morgan have no reason to be together and I’m hoping the team gets split up after tonight. Morgan has the potential to be a big star in Aces and 8’s but instead, they’re just wasting him on a guy who is basically a comedy act. Nothing to see here and not a great choice for an opener.

Morgan glares at Ryan post match.

Apparently Joe has challenged Anderson for a match tonight. Anderson is tired of being accused so tonight he’ll have the match. Nice job of advertising this beforehand guys.

Mr. Anderson vs. Samoa Joe

They talk a lot of trash to start with Anderson throwing his shirt in Joe’s face. This goes badly for Mr. as Joe pounds away in the corner. Joe takes him down to the mat and drops a knee for two. We head to the floor with Anderson getting in a few shots to take over. Anderson kicks at the knee and rams the back into the apron before we head inside again. A clothesline gets two as does a swinging neckbreaker so it’s back to Joe’s knee instead.

Anderson hits a dropkick to the knee for two but seems hesitant to go for a submission hold, which makes sense given who he’s fighting. Instead he cannonballs down onto the leg a few times before getting kicked out to the floor. The elbow suicida takes Anderson out but he hurts his knee again in the same move. Back in and Joe takes over with a backsplash and the snap powerslam for two. We get dueling chants about Anderson as he counters the Clutch, only to charge into a Rock Bottom out of the corner. Joe loads up the MuscleBuster but here’s Knox for the distraction, allowing Anderson to hit the Mic Check for the pin at 10:55.

Rating: C-. These two just don’t work all that well together. This was better than their TV Title match from a few months ago but it still didn’t work all that well. The biker interfering was more annoying than anything else because we’ve been through the “which side is he on” stuff with Anderson before. The match didn’t do anything for me, much like Aces and 8’s in general.

Kenny King is ready for York tonight but he’s more ready for RVD. RVD has gone soft according to King, as he’s not the same one who kicked Sabu and Jerry Lynn in the face. Good promo here.

Christian York vs. Kenny King

Winner gets RVD later in the night. Apparently that means immediately after this match. Oddly enough we get a LOUD Christian chant. Feeling out process to start with York grabbing a quick headlock. They both try dropkicks at the same time and we’ve got a standoff. King slaps him in the face and they run the ropes a bit, only to have Christian hold the ropes and slap King in the face. Nice touch there.

York hits a leg lariat and a knee to the face for two but gets sent to the floor. King misses a corkscrew plancha attempt though and gets caught in a headscissors to take him down. Back in and York tries a tornado DDT but gets sent out to the floor instead. Back in and King shows off a bit before hooking a chinlock. A spin kick is caught in a kind of suplex by York and both guys are down. York grabs a cravate and hooks a Russian legsweep for no cover but a running kick to the face gets two.

They fight to the apron and York hits a cartwheel kick to knock Kenny to the floor. York hits a top rope double stomp to the back for two but walks into a jumping spinning side kick followed by a spinning Rock Bottom for two. Christian goes up for a cross body but Kenny rolls through into a cover. His cheating is caught and York suplexes him down again. A running roll into the corner misses King and a pair of knees to the ribs gets two. King pulls the hair again to take over and tries la majistral, but York lays down on him for the pin at 10:15.

Rating: B. I was getting into this at the end with all of the counters and wondering what it was going to take either guy down. The simplicity of the ending was a very nice touch as York didn’t flip or spin around but rather just laid down on King for the pin out of nowhere. I’m not sure I wouldn’t have had King win instead but it was a good match so I can live with it.

King lays out York with a reverse AA as Van Dam comes out.

X-Division Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Christian York

York is all banged up and can barely move but as Van Dam checks on him, Christian blasts him in the face. Van Dam blasts him down and hits a reluctant Rolling Thunder for two. Off to a surfboard followed by a triangle choke by the champion. With York’s head on the apron, Van Dam hits a legdrop to the floor followed by a jackknife cover for two. York gets up a shot in the corner and a SICK knee to the face off the middle rope to put the champ down.

They tussle back and forth until Van Dam hits a springboard kick from the middle rope for two. York gets two off a surprise rollup but gets kicked in the face again. The Five Star misses and another rollup gets two. Rob puts him on the top rope for a jumping kick to the face followed by the Five Star for the pin at 5:33.

Rating: C-. Not much here other than an odd booking choice. What did this accomplish exactly? York looks tough but at the end of the day he comes out as a loser and Rob won a match he was supposed to win. It wasn’t bad or anything but it doesn’t help either guy and it makes King look less important than he should. I don’t get this one.

Van Dam applauds York post match.

Park thanks the well wishers for their well wishes and is ready for his match tonight. He doesn’t mean to K-Fab us (“That’s an insider term JB. I don’t expect you to know what it means.”) but he’s going to use his OVW training to beat D-Von tonight.

We get a compilation of Park’s training videos from OVW. Danny Davis continues to crack me up with lines like “Do you know why it hurt? BECAUSE YOU’RE STUPID!”.

D-Von vs. Joseph Park

Non-title here. The fans are all behind Joseph of course…and then they split into dueling chants because the Impact Zone is annoying. D-Von yells at Park for messing up basic stuff and then goes behind Joe to mess with his hair. In something I never thought I would say, D-Von uses chain wrestling to take over and takes Park down to embarrass him. D-Von gets down in an amateur position but Park does some of the same chain stuff that D-Von did earlier and slaps D-Von in the back of the head. Funny stuff.

After D-Von rants on the floor for a bit, he charges into a hip toss, an armdrag and a one armed slam. D-Von knocks him to the floor in retaliation and rams Park into the steps. Back in and the buckle gets ripped off as Park is in trouble. Park blocks a shot into the buckle and pounds away, only to walk into a jumping back elbow. A clothesline puts D-Von down and Park hooks a double leg takedown and pounds away before going to the corner. Oh this isn’t going to end well.

Joseph goes to the second rope and hits a splash for two but D-Von sends him into the exposed buckle. It busts Park open and it’s Abyss time. A Black Hole Slam out of nowhere puts D-Von down and he loads up a chokeslam before snapping back into reality. D-Von grabs a rollup with a handful of tights for the pin at 11:40.

Rating: C+. The character is still funny, but they’ve been doing this same thing for months now and while the wrestling training is a step in the right direction, they need to something substantial with him before the charm wears off. It’s clear they’re building to a huge Abyss return, but I’m not sure when it’s actually going to happen. Fun stuff here though.

D-Von blasts Park with the belt post match.

Austin Aries says he’ll win.

Knockouts Gauntlet Match

Winner gets a title shot at some point in the future. We start with Gail Kim vs. Tessmacher and they trade rollups to start. Tessmacher can’t hit her Stinkface and Kim clotheslines her down for two. Gail goes up but gets crotched, allowing Tessmacher to hit an X-Factor out of the corner for two. That means nothing though as Gail makes her Eat Defeat for the first elimination.

Next in is ODB who stops a charging Gail on the ramp. Back in and Kim gets spanked because that’s what happens in women’s wrestling. A splash crushes Gail and there’s a bronco buster to hammer in the point. They trade rollups and Gail avoids having her face rammed into ODB’s crotch before rolling her up with tights for the pin.

Mickie James is in next and she takes Gail down quickly, only to get caught by a running shoulder in the corner. A neckbreaker puts Gail down as do an enziguri and a flapjack. We head to the floor for a headscissors from James before heading inside where Gail molests the referee. A rollup on Mickie with another handful of tights gets another pin.

Velvet Sky is the last chick in this so she can beat a weakened Gail which is supposed to make us care I guess. I can live with Velvet in a catsuit though. Gail sends her into the barricade but poses on the ropes instead of covering. A cradle gets two for Gail but she gets caught holding the ropes. Sky hits her sitout Pedigree for the pin at 12:00. Gail had her foot under the ropes so I’m sure a triple threat is coming.

Rating: D. I can’t stand gauntlet matches for one reason: they’re nothing but a collection of short matches that don’t have time to develop at all and usually result in a bunch of stupid finishes. On top of that, this was your usual worthless female wrestling with stupid moves that are supposed to be sexy but come off looking completely stupid. I’m sure a triple threat match is coming because that’s how wrestling works.

Daniels and Kaz make fun of James Storm and drink an appletini. Storm apparently has permission to worship them now.

James Storm vs. Christopher Daniels

The winner gets a title shot at the 1/24 Impact. Kazarian apparently has an official manager’s license and gets to stay at ringside. Storm takes him down to the mat with a headlock for a good while before Daniels is sent to the outside. Storm immediately follows and pounds away before sending him back inside to pound away some more. Kaz interferes as you would expect him to, allowing Daniels to drop Storm’s arm across the ropes to take over.

The arm gets sent into the buckle and Daniels gyrates his pelvis a bit. Daniels pounds away on the arm but Storm punches back with his good arm. More cranking on the arm slows James right down again and Daniels grabs an armbar. By that I mean he holds the thing for like two minutes before Storm fights up and hooks a Russian legsweep. A backdrop puts Daniels down again and a top rope elbow gets two for the Cowboy.

Closing Time is countered by another shot to the arm but Storm comes back with the Eye of the Storm for two. The second try at Closing Time staggers Daniels but the Last Call is countered into the Angel’s Wings for two. BME misses and Storm pounds away but has to superkick Kaz down, allowing Daniels to hit I think an STO for the pin at 13:35.

Rating: B-. Decent stuff here but I’m getting annoyed at the rollups with some kind of cheating for the pin tonight. I’m digging the idea here of Daniels vs. Hardy as Daniels deserves a title shot given how funny he’s been lately. On the other hand though, Storm loses AGAIN. Who did he tick off to deserve this kind of a depush?

We recap the proposal from Impact because you knew we were going to get to this at some point tonight.

Here are Bully and Brooke, even though it’s 10pm and we’ve got two matches to go, one of which is an elimination match. Bully says Brooke looks hot tonight and talks about the guest list for the wedding. He pulls out his Twitter machine and takes a video of the crowd who is coming to the wedding. And that’s it. No seriously, that’s it. So glad we wasted PPV time on this.

We recap Doc vs. Sting, which is the result of a beatdown on Sting from a few weeks ago.

Sting vs. Doc

Sting fights off an attack in the aisle and beats Doc into the crowd before the bell as is his custom. We finally get back to the ring for the bell with Sting taking over. Immediately it heads to the outside with Doc kicking Sting in the ribs and sending him into the steps. Doc poses so Sting kicks him in the ribs as we head back inside. A big right hand drops Sting and it’s chinlock time.

Sting quickly fights up but gets splashed for two. They head to the ropes and Doc gets caught in them, allowing a Scorpion Death Drop to get two. The reaction to the kickout is a bit less than optimal I’d assume. Doc misses a charge into the corner and it’s Stinger Splash and Death Drop for the pin at 5:52.

Rating: D+. Sting’s matches on PPV tend to be far closer to brawls than matches but when you’re a legend like he is, you can get away with that I guess. Aces and 8’s continue to look like jokes but we’re WAY past the point of that surprising anyone anymore. This was about exactly what I was expecting to see, which is to say not much.

Post match Ray runs out to save Sting from the bikers who surround the ring.

Roode says he and Aries are going to work together to eliminate Hardy and the spotlight can shine where it should.

We recap the world title match. Hardy is against the odds, you can’t predict triple threats, you know the drill.

TNA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Austin Aries vs. Bobby Roode

We get some big match intros and this is an elimination match with Hardy defending. Feeling out process to start with Hardy taking over. Roode finally gets a shot in to Jeff’s back and the champ goes down. Hardy sends both challengers to the floor and hits a shot off the apron to take Roode down again. Back in and the spinebuster gets two on Hardy and as the champion goes up, Aries takes his leg out for two.

An elbow to Hardy’s face in the corner gets two as it continues to basically be a handicap match. Roode crawls back in and Jeff uses him for some Poetry in Motion on Aries. Jeff loads up a double Swanton but gets crotched by Roode instead. There’s a superplex to Hardy from Roode but it only gets two. Aries and Roode try a double team belly to back superplex but Jeff comes back to take them both out with the Whisper in the Wind.

Roode gets sent to the floor and kicked into the railing by Hardy but Austin kicks Jeff to the outside as well. Aries accidentally (I think?) crushes Roode against the barricade with the suicide dive before Hardy hits the Poetry in Motion to Aries against the barricade. The crowd is finally waking up here. Jeff loads up the Swanton on Roode but Aries breaks it up, only to get suplexed from the apron back inside onto Roode. A splash gets two on Bobby and Aries escapes the Twist.

Hardy tries to stack them up in the corner but walks into a spear from Roode for two. A discus forearm gets two for Austin and a Vader Bomb gets the same for Roode. Jeff is getting destroyed here. The running dropkick in the corner hits Hardy but the brainbuster only gets two. Roode tells Aries to hit the 450 but Roode shoves Hardy out of the way and gets two on Aries after the Payoff. Aries gets two on Bobby off another discus forearm and Roode’s spear is countered into the Last Chancery.

Bobby goes to the eyes to escape and there’s the Crossface to Austin. Roode counters a charging elbow by putting Aries on the top, only to get knocked down and caught with a missile dropkick. A running dropkick hits Roode in the corner but Bobby counters the brainbuster into a rollup. Aries backslides Roode and Hardy comes in to hold Bobby’s shoulders down for the first elimination.

So it’s Aries vs. Hardy here but Jeff is spent. The referee says Jeff got the pin which ticks Aries off. The Twist is countered but Jeff is sent to the apron and hits the Twist from there. The Swanton hits and Hardy retains the title at 20:29. Aries vs. Hardy was maybe a minute long at most.

Rating: B. Aries vs. Hardy was barely in existence and at the end of the day the elimination stuff wound up meaning nothing, but it allowed for a good story to start. Hardy surviving in the middle there was kind of overdone but thankfully he only cashed in on the work of others for the elimination on Roode which isn’t that over the top. Good main event here that was better than I expected.

Overall Rating: C. The main event helps this A LOT, as other than that we just had some ok stuff and a lot of boring stuff. TNA’s major problem at this point is the weakness of their midcard. The main event is solid but their midcard is completely uninteresting, mainly because of Aces and 8’s. There’s nothing there and the matches are treated as afterthoughts instead of a place to build guys up. WAY better show than last month but still nothing excellent.

Results

Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez b. Matt Morgan/Joey Ryan – Frog Splash to Ryan

Mr. Anderson b. Samoa Joe – Mic Check

Christian York b. Kenny King – Cradle

Rob Van Dam b. Christian York – Five Star Frog Splash

D-Von b. Joseph Park – Rollup

Velvet Sky b. Gail Kim, Mickie James, ODB and Miss Tessmacher – In Yo Face to Kim

Christopher Daniels b. James Storm – STO

Sting b. Doc – Scorpion Death Drop

Jeff Hardy b. Austin Aries and Bobby Roode – Swanton to Aries

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews