Impact Wrestling – December 29, 2011 – Not Their Best To Close The Year Out

Impact Wrestling
Date: December 29, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s the last show of the year and we have one more Impact after this before we get to Genesis. Unless my memory is off (and it very well may be), there are only two matches set: D-Von vs. Pope and the title match. There are a lot of other matches which you can pretty much assume but I don’t think they’ve been named yet. I’d expect a lot of that tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video about the Knockouts situation.

Gail and Madison come to the ring with the latter demanding Tara and Tessmacher get out here now. She says that she needs to get rid of the diseases that Tara and Tessmacher carry around with them. And they’re both fired. Cue Sting and Madison kind of panics. She says she has this under control but Sting says it’s not over until he says it’s over. Madison doesn’t have a legally binding contract like Karen had so she has no power. They get into a funny shouting contest and Gail has to defend against Mickie tonight.

Steiner tells Abyss that they’re the best team out there. Abyss agrees that they’re a team. Ok then.

Wildcard Tag Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Abyss/Scott Steiner vs. AJ Styles/Kazarian

Kaz vs. Steiner start us off but Scott yells at AJ before the match gets going. Nothing happens there so it’s off to the Grand Slam winners. AJ uses strikes and avoids the power. Steiner cheats a bit and Shock Treatment gets no cover on AJ. Steiner comes in and beats on AJ some more but AJ hits a Pele to counter.

Double tag brings in Kaz vs. Abyss in I guess a rematch from the X Title match earlier this year. Man that sounds like forever again. Kaz fires off whatever he can including a springboard tornado DDT for two. Chokeslam is countered into a victory roll for two. The second attempt at a chokeslam puts Kaz down and Abyss knocks AJ into the barricade. He brings in Steiner…and hits him with the Black Hole Slam to send the former Fourtune guys to the finals at 7:50.

Rating: C-. Not a bad tag match but I couldn’t get into it for the most part. Abyss turning on Steiner isn’t really all that shocking and it’s good to see a team that makes sense going to the finals of this thing, although I have a feeling the wacky team is going to wind up winning the thing, because that’s what TNA thinks is the right idea.

Ray comes out to yell at Abyss post match and we take a break.

Post break Ray yells at him and says he’s tired of Abyss being a bully to him and Steiner. Abyss grabs him by the throat and Ray asks him what it’ll take to get him back into Immortal. Abyss wants Ray one on one at Genesis. If Abyss loses, he’s back into Immortal. Ray goes to leave but Abyss stops him. The match is Monster’s Ball.

Sting is with Kurt in the back and they talk about the incident last week in Tennessee. It’s Angle vs. Storm at the PPV and Kurt is getting a tuneup match tonight. It’s with RVD.

Flair and Gunner say Gunner will be great. Gunner is in action later tonight. Flair looks really old. Gunner is looking to put someone in an ambulance tonight.

Anthony Nese vs. Zema Ion

It’s the final match in the series and it’s contract on a pole. Well what else would it be? Aries is in on commentary here. The winner of this joins Aries, Kash and Sorensen. According to Aries, Ion has pole experience while being an exotic dancer. Both guys tease going for the pole but it turns into your regular “I go for the pole, you stop me then you go for the pole and I stop you.”

They go to the floor where Nese takes over. Nese goes for the contract but Ion saves. Ion goes for the contract but Nese saves. Nese hits a German off the top but hangs himself in the Tree of Woe. He goes for the contract again but gets shoved into the barricade. And then Ion gets the contract at 4:33.

Rating: D+. Ok then. I mean really, ok then, let’s go to the next match. There’s nothing interesting here at all and now we have a new challenger. There’s nothing different about these two other than Ion has messier hair. The matches were ok and that’s about it. I don’t know what the point of this being a series but whatever.

Gunner vs. Douglas Williams

Total dominance for awhile by Gunner and then they go to the floor. Gunner shoves the referee and it’s a DQ at 1:38.

Williams takes the DDT on the concrete post match.

Roode’s family still doesn’t like him.

Here’s Roode who says it’s no shock that he’s selfish. His friends and family have all turned their backs on him, but tonight he’s brought one of his friends here. This name is Tracy and they’ve been friends for over twenty years. Tracy stands up and gets an ovation for some reason. Roode apologizes for not answering his calls and texts lately. Tracy has been brought here tonight to say whatever he wants.

He talks about how everyone is missing him and wondering where Roode has been. His wife wants to know where he is and his kids want to know why Tracy is driving them to hockey practice. Bobby can still come home. Roode says that back in high school, Tracy was his lackey. Roode says his family’s fifteen minutes of fame are up and goes to leave, then he beats Tracy up. Jeff runs out for the save.

Eric and ODB have more “comedy”.

Angle rants about facing RVD later tonight.

Wildcard Tag Team Tournament Semi-Finals: Magnus/Samoa Joe vs. ODB/Eric Young

Eric locks up with Tenay on the way to the ring. See it’s funny. Eric and Magnus start but ODB comes in before there’s any contact. There’s no contact as both circle the other in a flirty manner. Tag off to Eric who strips and comes in. Remember when Joe says Eric was all awesome at Turning Point 07? I don’t think this is what he intended. Joe comes in and has a decent mini-match with Eric. ODB gets launched to the floor and the MuscleBuster sends Joe and Magnus to the finals at 5:14.

Rating: D+. The comedy here wasn’t funny, but it’s Eric Young who does the same nonsense every week. To be fair though, the guy can’t get over without a CRAZY comedy gimmick so he has to do this. Not much here and I have a feeling the random pairing will beat the normal team to get the shot because that’s how TNA works. Nowhere near as bad as it could be though so it’s not much of a complaint.

Mickie says the title match will be interesting.

Kurt Angle vs. Rob Van Dam

So the girls are main eventing? Ok then. Basic stuff to start as neither guy has much of an advantage so far. Rob kicks a lot and hits Rolling Thunder for two. Kurt snaps off a belly to belly for the same and a regular suplex gets two also. After a quick chinlock Van Dam takes over again with some clotheslines. Kurt gets in a shot and tries a superkick but Van Dam takes him down. Five Star misses and there’s the ankle lock. And here’s Storm to superkick Angle for the DQ at 5:17.

Rating: C-. Nothing special at all here but the ending was something that needed to happen. That’s going to be a great match once it happens at Genesis and I can live with Storm losing if they have a third match. Not bad here but they needed a few more minutes to get something special going, which to be fair wasn’t the idea here.

RVD isn’t thrilled with Storm coming out there.

Angle isn’t either.

Storm says he’s coming for Angle.

Knockouts Title: Mickie James vs. Gail Kim

Mickie grabs a rollup for two almost immediately. Thesz Press hits and Mickie takes over. Mickie sends her to the floor but misses a baseball slide. A neckbreaker hits though and we take a break. Back with a slugout on the floor won by Gail as they go back into the ring. Gail grabs the arm for some cranking.

Mickie fights back but Gail hooks Inoki’s Octopus Hold. I can’t say I’m complaining about the visual. Mickie rolls into the ropes so Gail tries it again but it doesn’t work as well this time. Ok so maybe it does. After she gets done with that, a missile dropkick gets two for the champ. Eat Defeat is countered and Mickie hits a kick of her own to put both chicks down. Mickie makes her comeback and goes up but Gail heads to the floor. Mickie tries a Thesz Press to the floor but leaves it short so it doesn’t look that great. Her knee is hurt so a masked chick runs in, hits the Rayne Drop on Mickie and Gail get the pin at 14:17.

Rating: C. FAR better Knockout match than the Knockouts or Divas have done lately but still nothing all that great. I’ll give them points for having something else in the main event but the ending kind of sucked, especially given what’s shown post match. Not sure why they went with this to end the year but whatever.

Post match, yep that’s Madison with facepaint.

Overall Rating: C-. I won’t say the show was bad tonight, but it didn’t click for me. Things ran well and the storylines are pretty logical, but for the most part they’re not grabbing me which is probably more preference than anything else. The problem is mainly on top as Roode still comes off as a midcard guy in the main event. Not bad, but not something I was able to get into.

Results
Kazarian/AJ Styles b. Abyss/Scott Steiner – Kazarian b. Steiner after a Black Hole Slam from Abyss
Zema Ion b. Anthony Nese – Ion grabbed the contract
Douglas Williams b. Gunner via DQ when Gunner shoved the referee
Samoa Joe/Magnus b. ODB/Eric Young – MuscleBuster to Young
Gail Kim b. Mickie James – Pin after a Rayne Drop from Madison Rayne

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Impact Wrestling – December 22, 2011 – Tag Teams And Tim Tebow

Impact Wrestling
Date: December 22, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We’re back with week #2 of the wild card tournament but at least now we know who almost all of the wacky partners are. The show last week was pretty ok so hopefully they crank it up a bit more this week as the year comes to a close. We’ve got I think three more Impacts before the PPV where it’s pretty likely that Jeff gets the title back. Oh and the Jarretts are gone at the moment. Let’s get to it.

The opening video recaps last week which is the norm now.

Here are Roode and Ray to open the show. Roode is in a suit and to be fair, he’s rocking that thing. He says he loves Christmas and the fans can all thank him for the gifts they got last week. Sting and Hardy getting beaten up was great and all they needed were bows on them. Ray talks about how giving he is: he gives chicken bones to the homeless, he gives dollars to strippers and he gives whiskey to his cat.

Roode talks about learning that every action has a consequence. Lately he’s learned that he’s probably on the naughty lists of both Sting and Santa. He asks Sting to come out here and get his suspension over with because he needs time off for Christmas. Instead he gets Hardy. Don’t worry about the suspension because in three weeks, Hardy is taking the title. Tonight it’s the two of them against Hardy and a partner of his choice. This would be a little more suspenseful if they hadn’t mentioned this in the preview before the show. Of course it’s Sting. Here he is and he has the insane face paint on again.

The main event tag is officially a street fight.

Wildcard Tag Tournament First Round: AJ Styles/Kazarian vs. Rob Van Dam/Christopher Daniels

And remember, the teams are RANDOM! I mean, no one would take rivals and put them against stable mates. That would be STUPID! Tenay says Fourtune is officially defunct. Kaz vs. Van Dam to start us off. They hit the mat quickly and it’s off to AJ. Daniels wants him but Van Dam says he’s mine.

After some basic stuff it’s back to Kaz who seems to have better chemistry with RVD. Monkey flip by Rob sets up a headlock by Kaz. Back to AJ and Van Dam goes to the corner. He rams into Daniels and that counts as a tag. Daniels comes in and misses AJ, allowing the tag to Kaz. Van Dam slaps Daniels into the Fade To Black for the pin at 5:18.

Rating: D+. Basic but fine here and that’s all it needed to be. Thankfully they didn’t push Van Dam and Daniels as a team that lucks its way into the second round. Either way, this was ok but it wasn’t anything special. That goes for a lot of first round tournament matches most of the time though so there isn’t much to complain about there.

Anthony Nese says he’s awesome and can hang with anyone.

Zema Ion says he’s pretty.

Zema Ion vs. Anthony Nese

This is the second match in the best of three series with Ion up 1-0. Ion has hairspray so you know he’s a heel. The winner of this is in a four way against Aries, Kash and Sorensen. Ion dives through the ropes to take Nese out with a dropkick before the bell. Back in Nese snaps off a rana for two. Cross body gets the same. Ion gets in a shot but Nese fights back and hits a Lionsault for two.

The American hits a German on the Filipino for two. Nese misses a springboard body block for two and Ion takes over again. Nese jumps from the mat to the top for a super rana for two. Ion hits a spinning facebuster but pulls Nese up like he did last week. Naturally it allows Nese to nip up into a rollup for the pin at 4:00.

Rating: C+. Not bad but the problem is the lack of any reason to care about these guys or the match they had. Nese is a generic face and Ion is a generic heel. The match was fine and they did some good stuff, but I’ve seen a match like this a thousand times and I’ve seen it better a few hundred times. That’s the problem with these cruiserweight matches: it’s REALLY hard to top them and when they’re average, they look weak.

Madison Rayne is in a referee dress and says Karen put her in charge of the Knockouts.

Pope says he’s there for people when they need him. What D-Von didn’t get is that Pope is a better trainer than he is so let him train. He’ll always be pimping too. D-Von vs. Pope at Genesis again. D-Von comes in and grabs him but one of his kids hits him in the back. Pope calls them his boys.

Eric Young and D-Von are on a date because they’re in the wild card tournament together. One of their opponents is Shannon Moore and Eric locks up with a referee.

Here’s Madison and she calls out Tara and Tessmacher. She shouts a lot and the fans chant what sounds like USA. Madison repeats that she’s the head of the Knockouts which surprises Mike and Taz, even though she said it earlier. Her job is to destroy the Knockouts and she’s starting with the two of them. Their closeness makes her sick so they’re fighting each other tonight and she’s the referee.

Brooke Tessmacher vs. Tara

And it’s a comedy match. They do the slowest wristlock this side of Delirious and Tara shouts ouchie. They trade some very weak covers and this is kind of amusing. The limited wrestling turns into talking and even the Impact Zone is silent. They finally get into a fight and Madison won’t count due to reasons of waving. Madison shouts at them to hit someone so they hit her. And then the Tebow it. Ok then. It ran about 6 minutes but there wasn’t exactly an ending point.

Rating: N/A. This wasn’t exactly a wrestling match. I’m not sure what it was but the girls were hot so I’ll let it go.

Sting and Hardy say they’ll win.

Eric looks for a gift to give ODB and looks through the kitchen of the restaurant.

Here’s Storm to FINALLY give us something interesting. He says that Angle is looking for him but Storm will either be in the bar or in the ring. Angle gave him a beating but Storm won in the end. He makes football references and drops Tebow’s name. Angle pops up on the screen and is in Storm’s hometown. He insults a woman and that’s about it.

Ray says he and Roode will win.

Wildcard Tag Tournament First Round: Eric Young/ODB vs. Anarquia/Shannon Moore

Young vs. Anarquia to start us up and Eric dances a lot. Young locks up with the Mexican America chicks outside and then disrobes. Anarquia comes in and slams Eric. It’s off to ODB and Moore bails. ODB kind of slams him and Eric hits a top rope elbow. A low blow by ODB gets the pin at 4:36.

Rating: F. What. Ever. Man. I’m so over Eric and his unfunny comedy but TNA insists we need to see it time after time on every show.

Matt Morgan and Crimson recap the tag tournament. They don’t take it seriously it seems.

Angle beats up people in Tennessee. He pulls out a freaking cap gun and hits someone in the head with it. He superkicks a lot of them after standing them up in a line. Angle even throws the Christmas tree at someone. He challenges Storm for Genesis.

Bully Ray/Bobby Roode vs. Sting/Jeff Hardy

This is a street fight and they have a ton of time. I wonder if Sting vs. Ray is going to happen at Genesis. Probably not. Those two head to the floor and Roode takes over in the ring on Hardy. They go split screen for a bit but the painted guys clear the ring. STEREO DIVES take the heels out. Sting diving like that was pretty awesome. That takes us to a break.

Back with more violence and the bad guys in trouble. Ray hits Hardy with a kendo stick to the back and does the same to Sting. We get the dreaded cookie sheet and Ray takes over on Sting. Sting fights back and hits a superplex to take Ray down. He’s showing off tonight. Roode comes in to beat down the guy with the full facepaint (Sting) but Sting comes back again. He loads up the splash but Ray hits him with part of a wooden sign to break it up.

Ray drops an elbow for two. Hardy hasn’t been focused on in this match very much. Ray and Roode set for something but Sting ducks so Ray clotheslines Roode. Death Drop to Ray but Sting walks into a spinebuster. Hardy comes in and takes out Roode but Ray kicks his head off. Ray gets the table but Sting moves it before Hardy can go through it. He cleans house and hooks the Scorpion on Ray (who taps but it doesn’t count) and puts Roode down with a Death Drop. Another table is set up and Hardy splashes Roode through it for the pin at 18:20.

Rating: B. This knew that it was supposed to be an over the top and fun brawl and that’s what it was. There wasn’t really anything all that significant going on here but it did the job in giving Hardy the pin over Roode. Also it gave Sting a chance to look awesome as he’s limited in the ring anymore and that’s fine. Fun match and a good way to close the show.

Overall Rating: C-. I don’t want to say this show was bad, because it really wasn’t. It was however pretty meh. It came off a lot like Raw on Monday as a throwaway show, and for the most part I’m ok with that. However, stuff like the Knockouts and Eric Young got really old really fast. The main event was fun and there was kind of an energy to the show that helped it, but not one of their better episodes. Still though, it’s a holiday kind of show so taking things less seriously might be a good idea.

Results
Kazarian/AJ Styles b. Rob Van Dam/Christopher Daniels – Fade To Black to Daniels
Anthony Nese b. Zema Ion – Rollup
Tara vs. Brooke Tessmacher went to a no contest
Eric Young/ODB b. Anarquia/Shannon Moore – Low blow to Anarquia
Jeff Hardy/Sting b. Robert Roode/Bully Ray – Splash through a table to Roode

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Impact Wrestling – December 15, 2011 – WACKY TAG TEAMS!!!

Impact Wrestling
Date: December 15, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

So we’re done with the Final show and we’re off to the Genesis, or beginning, show. There’s a Doc Brown joke in there somewhere. Anyway, Hardy vs. Roode is set as the main event and I can’t help but think Roode is in severe danger of being a transitional champion. From what I’ve heard, tonight we begin a wild card (as in “random” draw) tag team tournament to find new #1 contenders, because the tag division is somehow worse than WWE’s at the moment. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the main event of the PPV Sunday here Roode ran around at the end to run out the clock. The video has a soundbyte from Sting, saying we’re going to open the show with a five minute overtime. Ok then.

TNA World Title: AJ Styles Robert Robert Roode

AJ speeds things up immediately and tries to get a fast pin. They hit the mat and it’s still pretty fast paced. Rollup gets two and we have three minutes left. All AJ so far. Roode gets in a shot to the knee but can’t wrap it around the post. Two minutes left. AJ keeps trying for pins but the champ keeps running. He hits the moonsault into the reverse DDT with a minute to go. Roode pokes him in the eye and hits the floor, where he’s able to run around well enough so that the Pele that AJ hits isn’t enough for the pin so the time runs out at 5:00.

Rating: C. That’s a really subjective grade as I’m not sure what you can really say about this. It’s not particularly good or bad so I put it right in the middle. Both guys had the psychology but there’s only so much you can do with five minutes and a story already built in. Not bad, but they were in a big box here.

Sting comes out and says we’re going until there’s a winner. Roode hits AJ in the knee and puts on a one legged Liontamer to end this in less than 30 seconds.

Roode says he’s awesome and bring on Jeff Hardy.

Wild Card Tag Tournament First Round: Robbie T/Hernandez vs. Abyss/Scott Steiner

And remember: these teams are RANDOM. Pay no attention to the rivals being partners. Hernandez vs. Papa Pump starts us off. Steiner takes over and hits the suplexes into the push-ups. Rob comes in and throws Steiner around for a few seconds but that’s about all he’s trusted with so it’s off to Hernandez and Abyss. Abyss cleans house and hits the Black Hole Slam on Robbie but slowly tags in Steiner for the pin at 4:10.

Rating: D+. I really don’t like these random tag partner tournaments. The winners aren’t going to win the titles and it’s just filling in time until the division can get itself back together. They’re waiting on the Guns, but they’re going to need more than two teams, because that isn’t a division.

Angle says he’s going to take care of Sting.

Here’s Kurt who demands Sting come out here. Angle talks about Storm and demands a rematch, threatening Sting with violence if he doesn’t get it. Sting says no because Angle has had two chances and it’s time for Storm to go after Roode. Angle threatens to go to Storm’s hometown

and beat up the whole city. That’s a new one.

Anthony Nees vs. Zema Ion

There’s going to be a best of three series between these two for a shot at Aries at Genesis. I barely remember this Nees guy but I guess that’s enough for him to be up for the #1 contender spot. They speed things up to start and I have no idea who is supposed to be the heel here or if there is one. Nees sends him to the floor and comes back in with a springboard Lionsault for two.

Flip dive to the floor and a springboard forearm gets two. Back in and Ion can’t get anything going at all. This is really just an exhibition by Nees. Ion hits a missile dropkick and a nipup dropkick for two as he pulls Needs up. Ok so Ion is the heel I guess. A modified facebuster gets two but he pulls Nees up again. A 450 ends this at 4:00.

Rating: C. It was high flying and fun, but I’m going to need more than a 4 minute Cruiserweight spot fest to really get into two guys that are barely ever on TV. Has Nees been in more then five matches ever in TNA? If he has I certainly don’t remember them. Fun stuff but the lack of connection to either guy hurts it.

The Jarretts get here and argue over who is going to retire.

Zema says he’s pretty and he took the chances tonight. It’s all about me, himself, and Ion now. Oh for corn’s sake.

Gunner gets fired up by Flair.

Jesse Neal vs. Gunner

Gunner beats him down to start and I don’t think this is going to last long. They go to the floor and Gunner shoves Hebner for the DQ at 1:40. Neal takes a DDT on the exposed concrete. I think he’s done with the company and this is writing him off TV.

Karen flirts with Sting to try to keep her job. Sting implies everything is cool and Karen leaves happy. Sting says poor Jeff.

Here’s Hardy who says he’s hurt but he’s going to Genesis as the #1 contender. Cue Ray who says Hardy is the kind of guy who sit around and Tweets to his fans. They’re fighting tonight and Ray says he knows Hardy almost as well as anyone. Ray talks about Hardy no showing a PPV which let Ray take Hardy’s spot in Immortal.

Joe tells Magnus to stay out of his way tonight. They’re partners in the tournament. Magnus tells Joe to get out of his face.

Wild Cart Tag Tournament First Round: Samoa Joe/Magnus vs. Douglas Williams/Robbie E

The Brits, still called a team here, explode for a bit until Douglas takes over. The idea here is they’re trying to keep Joe out because they can’t stop him. Robbie comes in with a middle rope fist drop. Magnus takes over on him and it’s back to Magnus. Rolling Chaos fails and here’s Joe. He cleans house and has some decent team work with Magnus as Robbie appears to leave after taking a middle rope elbow. Williams goes up and gets crotched, allowing the MuscleBuster to end this at 3:50.

Rating: D+. Joe and Magnus had some decent chemistry, but I highly doubt they’re going to mean anything long term even if they win the tournament. Magnus is brought back like once every six months and then dropped again. Not much to see, but the winners were at least gelling out there, which is more than more teams can say.

Jeff Jarrett basically says fire Karen to Sting, which is the opposite of what Karen said earlier. Interesting.

Eric Young talks about how he’s been told to find his partner here in the back. It’s ODB.

Here’s D-Von and he calls out Pope. Cue Pope with D-Von’s kids. D-Von says those are his boys and he’s been there for them since they were born. He put food on their table and clothes on their backs. He’s going to train them the way he’s going to train them and that’s that. Pope talks about how the boys want someone cool to train them, not a boring guy like D-Von. D-Von goes to leave and Pope says that’s what your wife did. He implies sex with D-Von’s ex and D-Von half kills him. Pope gets in a low blow and D-Von’s kids help in with the beatdown, putting on Pope glasses. Pope shouts that they’re his now.

Jeff lies to Karen about who he said should be fired. Sting wants to see them both at once.

Traci Brooks vs. Madison Rayne

Traci charges at Madison on the top of the ramp and beats her down to start. There’s the bell. Madison takes over once we get back in the ring and the announcers talk about Traci’s double D’s. Madison screams a lot and does nothing really worth talking about. Traci fights back and the crowd politely applauds. Rayne Drop gets two. A hard kick to the side of the head is enough for the pin at 3:51.

Rating: D. Madison is hot and that’s about the whole aspect that was good here. If this was supposed to be the big revenge match for Traci….it didn’t really work. To be fair though, Traci is really only good for wearing low cut tops. The match was bad, which is probably due to only one being anything decent in the ring, and even then she’s not enough to carry a match.

The Jarretts have their meeting with Sting and their stories seem to not line up that well. They both deny it and Sting has footage. The Jarretts argue a lot and it’s like 10:54 and the main event entrances haven’t even started yet. Sting’s look standing in the back at this is hilarious. He fires them both.

Roode comes out for commentary.

Jeff Hardy vs. Bully Ray

After the big match intros, the bell rings at 10:59. Ray jumps him during the shirt toss and works on the ribs that are still hurt from the cage match. Tree of Woe doesn’t go well for Jeff. Off to a bearhug and he even gets a few two counts off of it. A Vader Bomb misses and Jeff gets in his first offense. Bubba Bomb is countered into the Twist of Fate for two. Side slam gets two for Ray. A second Twist ends this at 4:44.

Rating: D+. This was really just a formality for Jeff but the win was a good thing for him as it gives him some momentum. Also, how nice was it to see a CLEAN win in the main event of Impact? Not a classic or anything, but for what it was, this was certainly fine. I don’t like the finisher hitting until it gets the pin though. That gets old.

Roode jumps Hardy post match and Ray helps put him through a table.  Sting comes out for the save and is beaten down too.

Overall Rating: C-. There was some good stuff on here but the tag tournament does absolutely nothing for me. I can’t complain at all about getting rid of the Jarretts. Jeff is going to India for whatever they’re doing over there. TNA still feels like they’re in a really low level string of shows lately and Genesis isn’t looking like it’s going to fix that. Not a bad show, but it’s nothing that really blew me away at all.

Results
Bobby Roode vs. AJ Styles went to a time limit draw
Bobby Roode b. AJ Styles – Single Leg Half Crab
Scott Steiner/Abyss b. Robbie T/Hernandez – Black Hole Slam to Robbie T
Zema Ion b. Anthony Nees – 450 Splash
Jesse Neal b. Gunner via DQ when Gunner shoved the referee
Samoa Joe/Magnus b. Douglas Williams/Robbie E – MuscleBuster to Williams
Madison Rayne b. Traci Brooks – Kick to the head
Jeff Hardy b. Bully Ray – Twist of Fate

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Final Resolution 2011 – Now They’re Talking About Twitter Too

Final Resolution 2011
Date: December 11, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s the final PPV of the year for TNA and the card has been built up pretty well on TV. In essence there’s a double main event with the Battle of the Jeffs and the Iron Man match for the title. There are a few matches that haven’t been built up at all but that’s bound to happen to a degree. The card looks pretty good though so let’s get to it.

The opening video is just what you would expect: a highlight package of the two main event feuds.

Rob Van Dam vs. Christopher Daniels

This is supposed to be “just a wrestling match” according to Daniels. They take turns with a headlock for awhile to fulfill the idea that it’s going to be all clean and nice. Rob kicks away and does his rolling leg cradle for two. They fight to the apron and Van Dam is sent intot he post chest first. This is one of those matches where time is passing but there isn’t much to talk about.

Since Van Dam’s ribs hit the post first, Daniels puts on a reverse waistlock. Van Dam makes his comeback and hits the standing moonsault for two. This is a really uninteresting match. Rolling Thunder gets two. He goes up but Daniels rolls out of the way and spears him down for two. Great, ANOTHER person using that move. A palm thrust gets two for Daniels. They go up top and Van Dam casually knocks him off and hits the Five Star for the pin at 11:40 (my stream is jumpy so the times are about as accurate as I can guess.)

Rating: C. This was really boring for the most part. There was no real heat to the match and they didn’t do anything significantly interesting. I’ve never been a fan of Daniels at all because he doesn’t get anything going for me at all with this being a great example. Still though, it’s him against someone not named AJ Styles so I can’t complain much.

The announcers run down the card.

Mickie says tonight it’s about wrestling, not politics in her match with Gail Kim. They’ll take it to the wall tonight.

TV Title: Robbie E vs. Eric Young

Eric disrobes because it’s funny I guess. A Thesz Press puts Robbie down and we go to the floor. Young hits a nice dive but has to avoid a Big Rob shot, allowing the champ to take him down with a clothesline. Robbie takes over with his pretty dull stuff and hits a middle rope elbow after some fist pumping for two.

He hooks a chinlock to waste some time. Young makes his comeback but misses coming off the top. Eric puts him down again but Big Rob chokes him out for a few seconds. Robbie is sent into Big Rob’s crotch and Young tries a DVD on both of them. And never mind as a Codebreaker keeps the title on Robbie at 7:30.

Rating: D. Ho-freaking-hum. Horribly uninteresting match again here with nothing going on at all in it. To be fair though, this is one of those matches that suffered from the automatic rematch issue: since we’ve already seen a winner and a loser here, there’s no real interest in seeing them fight again. That being said, we’ll probably get this again because of Big Rob getting involved again. Nothing to see here and the first half hour of this show has been pretty awful.

Pope and D-Von say they’ll win. There’s no trouble at home says D-Von. Pope says it’s not his fault D-Von is a bad father and tonight it’s about the gold.

Tag Titles: Crimson/Matt Morgan vs. D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero

Crimson vs. Pope gets us going here with Crimson using his cravate with the knees to take over. Morgan comes in and he wants D-Von. That isn’t the best idea in the world as D-Von takes over with his usual stuff. Back to Red Man vs. Pope with the street preacher who never preaches taking over. STO gets two but he gets speared down quickly. An exploder suplex gets the same.

Morgan hits the fallaway slam for two as well as a side slam. Pope finally gets in a DDT to put both guys down and brings in D-Von off the not-hot tag. A neckbreaker and headbutt off the top get two on Crimson. Everything breaks down and there’s a spinebuster to Crimson. Top rope elbow from Pope gets two. A double chokeslam from the champions keep the titles on them at 9:33.

Rating: D. Again, this was BORING. There’s no heat on any of these matches because their build has been horrible or non-existent. This D-Von vs. Pope stuff has been going on since June and it’s still not getting anywhere. That’s one of TNA’s problems: they take forever to get anywhere which is what’s going on with this. That and no one cares about D-Von in 2011 but that goes without saying.

AJ says his knee is fine and he’s ready to go tonight.

X-Division Title: Austin Aries vs. Kid Kash

If Kash wins….I’ll probably just complain more than usual. Feeling out process so far with Aries showing off as only he can. Kash takes over and things get a little sloppy. He slaps Aries around a bit because he’s just not a nice person. Is Aries a face now? I don’t think he is but I’m not really sure. Is Kash one? I’m so confused by this company. Kash rolls Aries up and it looks awful. Back to the champ’s control but a jumping fist drop misses.

Out to the floor and Aries rolls him up, this time using two feet on the top rope to out do the one foot that Kash used earlier. Ok that was cute. Back to the floor again and Kash puts Aries down to take over again. Aries takes over right back and hits the best suicide dive in wrestling. Most people just slap the other guy’s chest anymore which isn’t that impressive. A gutbuster gets two for the champion.

There’s the Pendulum Elbow for two. Kash counters the brainbuster and knocks Aries down, then hits him again as he’s falling. Kash sets for what looks like a belly to back but slams him forward instead. The replay makes it look a lot more vicious. Moneymaker is broken up and Aries goes up, only to get crotched. Kash goes up for the same result but he manages to try a top rope powerbomb. Aries counters into Splash Mountain (not exactly Mysterio level but not bad).

They chop it out and Kash sets for the Moneymaker again. Aries counters with a basic stomp on the foot and then a backdrop. This has been better than I was expecting. Into the corner and Austin runs into a boot but the Moneymaker is countered again. Aries pulls out a foreign object which is taken away quickly. Now Kash has one too but it gets stolen. Aries hands him the title which gets taken away, allowing the brainbuster to keep the belt on the champ at 12:45.

Rating: C+. They started off badly but once they got down to doing basic stuff it got a lot better. Splash Mountain is one of those very cool moves and it worked very well here as it hasn’t been done in forever. The ending was creative too and it worked all around. Good match and definitely the best of the night so far.

They try to go to a video recap but it’s not there so let’s try that again. Ah ther eit is. Mickie is great, Gail is great, so let’s have a match about it. Karen keeps trying to hold Mickie back but it doesn’t really work.

The production mistakes continue as the video package plays again.

Knockout Title: Gail Kim vs. Mickie James

Why does no one ever wear the Knockouts Title? I mean you NEVER see it around someone’s waist. They fight over a wristlock to start and then Mickie wins a brief slugout. Gail avoids a charge in the corner but can’t get a rollup out of said corner. Mickie’s victory roll is countered by having her face slammed into the mat. That looked great. Gail takes over and works on the back but her second backbreaker is countered into a nice headscissors by James.

Gail works her over some more but Mickie sends her to the floor where Gail’s leg hits the steps. That can’t feel good. Thesz Press off the top gets two but Mickie couldn’t cover properly because Mickie was still in a split. Jumping DDT is countered so Mickie settles for a dragon screw instead. Gail goes to the floor and tries to walk but she gets sent “into the post” instead. Her head pretty clearly didn’t hit but nice effort anyway. And then Madison comes out to hook Mickie’s foot so Eat Defeat can end this at 7:48.

Rating: C+. REALLY don’t like that ending as it just comes flying out of nowhere and it really didn’t work given how much they had been having the competitive match before that. Good girls match though which was a lot better than most of them have been lately. My goodness the Knockouts blow the Divas so far out of the water it’s not even funny anymore.

Storm says there’s always someone bigger and tougher than you are to knock you down. That’s his message to Angle, because tonight he’s getting his second win in a row over Kurt.

We recap Storm vs. Angle, which is about Angle jumping Storm in the back and injuring him. It’s so nice to see a feud that makes sense and follows the story.

James Storm vs. Kurt Angle

The fans are all behind Storm. He’s gotten the push of a lifetime out of this. Storm tries to take it to the mat and that goes about as well as you could expect it to. They exchange some quick arm work and Storm grabs a headlock to take over. For someone that said he wasn’t coming here to wrestle Angle, he certainly looks like he’s wrestling Angle. Kurt hammers away in the corner to take over, which plays into the whole concussion story/real injury.

Out to the floor and Storm gets rammed into the barricade which might have hit his head again. Off to a chinlock but then Kurt just pounds away at the head. That always makes me a bit shaky, especially when Storm had a legit head injury recently. A suplex puts Storm down again and Storm looks out of it. Back to the chinlock and Storm’s head injury is being played up here.

He finally suplexes out of the hold though and both guys are down. Storm wins a slugout and hits the Codebreaker/Backstabber combo for two. Angle snaps off an overhead belly to belly for two. Storm avoids the rolling Germans and it’s ankle lock time. I really can’t stand that as it comes out of nowhere and goes completely against the whole psychology of almost all of Kurt’s matches.

It doesn’t last long but James gets caught in the Rolling Germans this time. They’re slower than usual though. Just three in this set for a count of two. Angle Slam is countered into the Eye of the Storm for two. Storm goes up but gets caught in the (second attempt of) running belly to belly for two. The crowd isn’t as into this as they should be since it’s been pretty good.

Angle Slam is countered as is the Last Call, the latter into the ankle lock. Storm kicks out of that and Kurt’s shoulder goes into the post. Instead of pulling Kurt out, Storm channels his inner Apex Legend Killing Viper with an elevated DDT onto the apron. Somehow that only gets two back in the ring but Kurt snaps off an Angle Slam for two. Moonsault misses and the Last Call ends this clean at 17:54. Can’t say they didn’t put him over.

Rating: B. Solid match but for some reason the crowd wasn’t all that into it. The ending being clean is a very nice change of pace and it worked pretty well indeed. Now, if Storm wins the feud in the end, everything is right in Orlando. That’s kind of the key: Angle needs to put Storm over clean at the end of the day, and I’m not 100% certain that’s going to happen. Very good match though.

The Jarretts are nervous. Jeff is ticked because he’s been on the cruise for three days and now he hears about the stipulation Sting added despite being a company man. Sting pops up with the handcuffs.

We recap the battle of the Jeffs. Hardy came back and Jarrett complained because Hardy wasn’t a company man and dropped the ball and all that jazz. Jarrett lost to Hardy three times at Turning Point to set this up.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Jeff Hardy

This is in a cage. Sting will be handcuffed to Karen on the floor. If Hardy wins, he gets the title match at Genesis and a Jarrett is fired. If Jarrett wins, Hardy is gone from TNA. I didn’t hear the opening bell so the time is going to be a little off. You can win by any means. Hardy takes over early and hits the basement dropkick for two. They keep stopping for some reason. Hardy goes for the escape but that gets him nowhere.

Jarrett goes into the cage a few times as Hardy is definitely in slow gear here. Twist of Fate is countered into the Figure Four just a few minutes into the match. It’s very frustrating to not be able to say Jeff in this. Hardy gets rammed hard into the cage and Jarrett goes for the climb but Hardy makes the save. Jarrett goes into the cage and Hardy hits something like a Lionsault for two. There wasn’t a running start but the camera angle wasn’t clear as to what he did.

They slug it out, won by Hardy. Twist of Fate hits but Jarrett is too far away for the Swanton. A second Twist sets up the top of the cage Swanton….which completely misses as Hardy crashes and burns. And people wonder why he’s addicted to drugs. There’s the Stroke and Jarrett calls for the door to be opened. Hardy makes a diving save and we keep going. How has this only been going eight minutes so far?

The referee goes down from something and Hardy is rammed into the cage which is rammed into Sting. Karen gets uncuffed and the door is rammed into Hardy’s head. That gets a VERY close two. Karen tries to send in a guitar but Sting makes the save. We also get the ultra rare barefaced Sting shot. The Twist of Fate ends this at 10:03. That seems really short.

Rating: C+. Pretty solid cage match but again, the length really hurt it. There wasn’t much of a beginning and the violence was pretty limited. Jarrett being the designated loser from the beginning of this match didn’t help anything either. Not a classic by any means but the Hardy Swanton spot was pretty cool looking, although not really needed.

Sting says someone is fired on Thursday.

Roode says the same stuff he’s been saying for weeks now.

We recap the title match which is just Roode turning heel and AJ being his first challenger. This is their rematch.

TNA World Title: AJ Styles vs. Bobby Roode

This is a 30 minute Iron Man match and AJ has a bad knee coming in. Feeling out process to start as AJ is tentative because of the knee. They trade headlocks as we’re three minutes in. They’re pacing themselves though and that’s just fine. Thank goodness this is thirty minutes and not an hour because those matches are just dreadful to sit through. They go back and forth with headlocks and headscissors and AJ is currently in control.

They run the ropes and AJ’s limpp is getting more pronounced. Roode hits the floor for a break and we’re five minutes in. Back in and he hits some shoulders and chops in the corner. AJ gets sent to the floor and it turns into more of a brawl. Roode takes over back in the ring but AJ tries to speed things up and gets some rollups for two each. While he’s laying on his back, AJ nips up into a rana. That was cool.

Clothesline gets two for the challenger and we hit the chinlock. Roode fights up and hits a knee crusher…which doesn’t seem to slow AJ down that much. A second crusher sends AJ to the corner where Roode gets in a shot to the knee and a rollup with feet on the ropes for the first fall at 10:00 with 20:00 to go. Roode works over the leg for the next few minutes, which is perfectly smart strategy.

AJ tries that nip-up into the rana again but gets caught in a half crab. He finally makes the rope and the knee is in trouble. There’s a Figure Four which is still on at the 15:00 mark. AJ taps with 14:38 left and Taz says he should have done that earlier. A chop block puts AJ down again and Roode tries a Figure Four again, but AJ kicks him off, sending the champ’s shoulder into the buckle. He may have injured the shoulder on that.

AJ hits a flying armbar and then a Crossface makes Roode tap with 12:23 to go. Twelve minutes left. He hooks the arm but Roode countered into kind of a half crab but with Roode laying on the mat. AJ escapes and strikes away but Roode knocks him down again. He walks over and gets caught in a small package with 9:51 to go, tying it up. They slug it out and Roode kicks him in the knee to regain momentum.

Spinebuster gets two for Bobby. Roode goes for the knee and AJ kicks him in the shoulder, but the champion gets a DDT onto the leg to put AJ back down. Roode tries a slingshot but AJ lands on the rope (on one foot so the quick recovery isn’t ridiculous) and tries the springboard moonsault into the DDT which mostly doesn’t work. The springboard 450 however does get him a pin and a 3-2 lead with 7:00 to go.

A Fujiwara Armbar is countered as is a half crab attempt. AJ drapes the arm over the rope but when he slides back in, Roode drops onto him and grabs the rope for the pin at 5:00 to go. They go up to the corner where AJ runs the corner and arm drags Roode down onto the shoulder. Three minutes left and AJ drops him onto the arm with a belly to back suplex. Fisherman’s suplex is countered into a small package for two.

There’s the Pele but AJ can’t follow up. Two minutes left. He loads up the Clash but falls backwards with his knee getting all twisted up in the process. Roode goes to the floor instead of covering or following up for some reason. AJ’s leg is fine apparently as he hits a flip dive over the top to the floor with 1:00 left. Back in and Roode rolls to the floor again and keeps running until the clock runs out for a 3-3 tie at 30:00.

Rating: B-. Pretty good match but I’m not a fan of Iron Man matches at all. The problem with them is that there’s almost no point to watching them for the first 25 minutes or so since they’re almost always decided at the very end. Not a bad match at all, but I think everyone knew the tie was coming or that AJ would lose somehow, which hurts things a lot.

Overall Rating: C+. I was disappointed by this show but it’s certainly not bad. The first hour or so is really bad but after that things pick up a lot and it gets a lot better. That being said, the big matches were pretty lackluster overall, with the Battle of the Jeffs being too short and both main events being too predictable. Coming in though we all knew this was a B-Level show which makes things a little better, but at the same time it wasn’t a great show at all. Not bad, but nothing that’ll mean anything in two months.

Results
Rob Van Dam b. Christopher Daniels – Five Star Frog Splash
Robbie E b. Eric Young – Codebreaker
Matt Morgan/Crimson b. D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero – Double Chokeslam to D-Von
Austin Aries b. Kid Kash – Brainbuster
Gail Kim b. Mickie James – Eat Defeat
James Storm b. Kurt Angle – Last Call
Jeff Hardy b. Jeff Jarrett – Twist of Fate
AJ Styles vs. Bobby Roode went to a 3-3 tie

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Final Resolution 2011 Preview

I forgot to put this up earlier but it’s still Saturday so it counts I guess.

 

Tomorrow is the final PPV of the year for TNA and it’s pretty much a B-List show.  Here are my thoughts.

The show has been built up pretty well on Impact, but it still feels pretty basic on paper.  The main event should be fine as the guys have enough history together to make a solid and fairly emotional match.  Now with that being said, I’ll leave it up to you if I mean Jeff vs. Jeff or AJ vs. Roode, because if you watch the shows, either of them could be built up as the show’s main event.  My bet is on the cage match but it’s not a strong feeling.

 

One thing you may not know, and since I doubt anyone follows Dixie on Twitter which is where this came from, is that if Hardy wins then he gets to pick whether Jeff or Karen is fired.  Think that should have been mentioned on Impact?  Yeah I thought so too, but I’m no professional.  On to the picks.

 

I’ll take:

Roode vs. Styles to a tie

Hardy wins, duh

The tag champs and X Champ keep their titles (PLEASE let this be the case for Aries.  Not that I love Aries but the less Kid Kash I have to see the better)

Daniels to cheat to win over RVD

Assuming it happens, Storm over Angle

Did you know there’s a TV TItle match?  I certainly didn’t, because the TV Title is the most worthless belt that doesn’t have a twin and is red in wrestling.  Eric gets another shot so I’ll go with Robbie to retain.

The other matches…..eh who cares.

 

Your picks/thoughts?




Impact Wrestling – December 8, 2011 – Nice Night For A Neck Injury

Impact Wrestling
Date: December 8, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

This is the go home show for Final Resolution and I think most of the card is set. The show has been built up pretty well, but it still feels like a B-show to me. AJ vs. Roode should be good and they’ve kept the older guys out of the spotlight lately, but I still feel like this isn’t the most exciting show in the world. I think it’s due to Roode not really feeling like a top level guy to me yet. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a recap of last week with Roode being in the three way match and stealing the win via Jarrett. Also Storm confronts Angle tonight.

Here’s Sting to open things up. Tonight it’s AJ/Hardy vs. Roode/Jarrett. He calls Roode to the ring and says there are some things we need to deal with, so could Dixie please come out here as well. Sting says if you put your hands on Dixie, you might as well put your hands on him. A few weeks ago Roode used Dixie as a human shield and now, he needs to make things right.

Roode asks for some space to do this right so Sting steps back a bit. Roode apologizes for not being completely honest with her. However he doesn’t have to be because he’s the champ. That means Dixie needs her because business is better with him as champion. Everyone wants to jump on board the Roode show but he wouldn’t even sell Dixie a ticket. Dixie is a fake because she’s daddy’s little rich girl. He walks away, turns around and spits at Dixie, then runs. Sting chases him and then stops for some reason. Roode poses as we go to a break.

In the back, AJ shoves Roode against a fence and says Roode has no idea what he’s doing. Tonight, he’s going to take out Roode for everyone to see. Sting comes up freaking out and AJ says someone has to be levelheaded.

Samoa Joe vs. Abyss

Joe hammers him down into the corner but Abyss pounds him down as well. After that brilliant display, we take another break. Back with Joe taking over, hitting a backsplash for two. He goes up and jumps into a chokeslam attempt which doesn’t work. Some clotheslines set up attempt number two but Joe counters again. An enziguri puts Abyss in the corner and he calls for the MuscleBuster. Here’s Scott Steiner for a distraction and Ray hits Joe with a chain. Chokeslam ends Joe at 7:29.

Rating: D. The match was awful, which I think is due to Abyss more than anything else. Joe is a full fledged jobber to the stars at this point and I don’t see that changing anytime soon. The Immortal stuff was pretty obvious and I guess we’re back where we used to be in this story, which is, in two words, the beginning.

Abyss poses with Immortal but hits Steiner with the Black Hole Slam. Ray runs from a showdown.

Karen gives Madison marching orders of take care of Mickie. Gail has to fight Traci too which ticks her off. The door is shut while Karen explains her plan.

Gunner wants a match with Garrett, swearing no Flair and no Bischoff, which is good enough for Sting.

Here are D-Von and Pope for a little chat with the champs. D-Von does the talking, saying how he’s a legendary tag wrestler and that the Dudleys beat a bunch of great champions. Crimson and Morgan are great, but remember that after the match there will be new champions. This is the whole “I respect you” promo that happens WAY too much in TNA. And that’s it. Oh wait Pope wants to talk.

Pope calls them honkies and says that this is all about the money. He doesn’t care how low he has to go and he’ll steal, take and/or garnish the titles. The champs never talked so Morgan drills Morgan and a brawl breaks out. Pope hits Morgan low as the other two have fought up the ramp. He waves D-Von’s kids in to help with the beatdown. Morgan gets up and all three of them run.

Storm is here.

Madison Rayne vs. Mickie James

Madison breaks up the intro of Mickie. She throws on a chinlock for a few minutes until Mickie fights back but misses something off the top. Something like a bulldog doesn’t really work for Madison so she poses instead before getting two. Madison beats on her some more until Mickie hits the jumping DDT for the pin at 4:05. It was as weak as it sounds.

Rating: D. It wasn’t that it was bad, it was just kind of there. Madison looked like she was just wasting Mickie’s time until the DDT ended it. To be fair though it was light years ahead of anything the Divas have done lately, but that’s because I hate the Divas very, very much. This was pretty bad though.

Ray and Steiner say they need a new plan for Abyss. Steiner says he’ll go talk to Bischoff about it.

Recap of Gunner vs. Bischoff. It’s about respect don’t you know.

Gunner vs. Garrett Bischoff

Eric and Flair come out with Gunner and we’re waiting on Sting to send them away. Instead Gunner sends them to the back, saying he’s got this. Gunner takes over early but Bischoff hits a bulldog. A clothesline is no sold and Gunner beats him down again. Garrett goes shoulder first into the post a few times and Gunner takes over. This is total domination with Gunner yelling a lot. And then Garrett grabs a single leg takedown and cradles him for the pin at 3:19. Yeah who didn’t see that coming? Honestly.

Rating: F. It’s still a referee getting beaten up and scoring a quick win because of the person whose genitals he came out of. Nothing to see here at all.

Gunner freaks post match and beats him down again, trying a piledriver on the floor. Eric makes the stop, wanting the mats pulled back first. Now the piledriver hits. Please let him be out for months. It would make my Christmas all the more magical.

Garrett is taken out on a stretcher while Eric applauds. Flair says send the nurse back to the hotel.

Here’s Storm for his standoff with Angle. He says he never backs down from a challenge so Angle needs to get down here. Here’s the bald man who says Storm is either an idiot or the toughest man he’s ever seen. The concussion should have put him out for six months but it was only three weeks. Angle says he thinks about Storm every night before he goes to sleep. Storm: “That kind of creeps me out a little bit.” Funny line. Storm gets in his face and talks about all the hardships he’s gone through and how that means Angle isn’t going to scare him.

Storm says the last time he hit the Last Call, it won him the world title. Next time, it’s going to crush Angle’s head like a beer can. Do you really want to get into an alcohol contest with Angle? Storm turns his back on Angle, saying if he feels like it, jump him. Angle does nothing and Storm says he’ll see him on Sunday. No word on if he’s legit cleared or not for Sunday.

Karen tells Traci she’s going to lay down for Gail.

D-Von goes off on his kids in the back when Pope comes in. D-Von LAUNCHES him against a wall but one of the boys stops him before he punches Pope. Paternal violence is implied. Pope comes back in to check on them. After six months of this, we FINALLY get a line about what’s going on here: Pope is willing to help train them and has promised to get them to the main event if they stick with him. WHY HAVE WE NOT HEARD THIS SINCE JUNE???

AJ and Hardy say they’re going to figure out a way to work together.

Traci Brooks vs. Gail Kim

The bell rings and Gail says lay down. Traci kicks out and hammers away (kind of) on Gail to a big reaction. She beats on Kim for awhile and gets a rollup for two. There’s a spear and Karen comes down to say get out of the ring NOW. Traci grabs Karen but the referee makes the save. Madison runs in with a belt shot and it’s over at 2:16. Just a brawl really.

Roode and Jarrett say they’ll win.

Daniels challenges RVD to a technical match on Sunday.

We run down the Final Resolution card.

Jeff Hardy/AJ Styles vs. Robert Roode/Jeff Jarrett

It’s a big brawl and they even break up the big match intros. After they fight on the floor we start with AJ vs. Jarrett in the ring. AJ hits his leapfrog into a dropkick sequence which is always good. Jarrett sends him to the apron but avoids the springboard forearm. AJ tweeks the knee and brings in Hardy. Jarrett runs so we get a previous of the Genesis main event as we take a break.

Back with Hardy hitting a headscissors on Roode and then the double legdrop between the legs. Seated dropkick gets two. Back to AJ but the knee isn’t working well still. The heels work the knee over and Jarrett does the Tim Tebow pose. Hardy finally snaps (not because of Tebow) and the Jeffs brawl to the back.

We keep the camera on them because who needs to see that wrestling match stuff? Roode hooks on a half crab and back to the brawl again. AJ finally grabs a rope and gets a boot up to a charging Roode. He can’t do much though because of the knee. A spinebuster puts Styles down but the fisherman’s suplex is countered into a small package for the pin at 13:38.

Rating: C. Just a main event tag match here which was about setting up both main events on Sunday. There’s nothing wrong with that and the knee injury aspect adds a little something to the match. It gives Roode a way out or a way to a draw on Sunday, which he really didn’t have before. Pretty decent match though and fine for a TV main event.

AJ dives on Roode like an idiot and stands tall to almost end the show. Roode hits a running chop block to take the knee out again and rams it against the stage to really mess it up.  He yells at AJ a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Better show than the last few weeks and a pretty solid go home show. I’m still seeing Final Resolution as a B-show which I don’t think they’re really trying to disagree with. A lot of stuff got pushed here which is the idea and they did a pertty good job of it. Good stuff, but certainly not without flaws, such as D-Von/Pope and the Bischoff drama.

Results
Abyss b. Samoa Joe – Chokeslam
Mickie James b. Madison Rayne – Jumping DDT
Garrett Bischoff b. Gunner – Single Leg Rollup
Gail Kim b. Traci Brooks – Pin after a belt shot
AJ Styles/Jeff Hardy b. Robert Roode/Jeff Jarrett – Small Package to Roode

 

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Impact Wrestling – December 1, 2011 – Pacing Issues Are Back

Impact Wrestling
Date: December 1, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We’ve got two more shows before Final Resolution and the card is starting to come together. It feels like a filler PPV until we get to something a lot bigger. The interesting thing will be if Storm is allowed to wrestle again as he’s really getting hurt by being injured as the mini-feud with Roode he had made him the real star out of the whole thing. But it’s a concussion so it’s hard to say when he’ll be better. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video of Roode’s family talking about how he’s pretty much abandoned them and it’s all about him anymore. Cool idea given how he was pushed as this family man when he was going for the title.

Sting opens the show and says everyone is trying to run this place. Right now, he’s going to deal with Bobby Roode, so get on out here. Roode says let’s get this over with. Sting talks about how Roode has done all this stuff and jumped Styles and Hardy to end the show. Roode calls it great TV and says Sting is welcome for what he’s done recently. Sting says he runs the place and it’s run his way. For every bad thing Roode does, there’s a consequence, which starts right now.

Cue AJ and Roode says Sting is fighting AJ’s battles now. Sting also brings out Hardy who asks why Roode doesn’t respect Sting’s authority. Sting says screw you Bobby and makes it a three way match for the main event tonight.

The Knockouts are in robes while Karen yells. She gets in Velvet’s face and yells about disrespect and all that jazz. Tonight they’re going to wash six cars and then the rest of them. Oh and they’ll be in swimsuits. Madison gladly disrobes and looks pretty good underneath it.

Jeff Hardy says he and AJ are about to go talk strategy. Jarrett comes up and takes his jacket off. He wants to know why Hardy thinks he belongs here. Hardy says this is his last shot. Jarrett throws his jacket in Hardy’s face and beats him down. Here’s your backstage brawl of the week.

Bischoff meets with Ray in the back because they don’t have an office anymore. Eric wants Ray to wait before killing his kid. Yeah brilliant there dude. Instead, let’s get rid of Abyss. Ray put him through a table and it did nothing so Eric suggests talking to him. Ray thinks he’s nuts (both Eric and Abyss) so he’ll get Scott Steiner to help talk. Oh geez.

The Knockouts are in bikinis and washing cars and Tara is forced to disrobe. ODB gets a street fight with Mickie James for some reason. If she hurts Mickie she’s the new #1 contender.

Mexican America vs. Ink Inc vs. D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero

Winners are #1 contenders. D-Von and Pope clear the ring until we get down to Pope vs. Anarquia with the street preacher taking over. The Mexicans finally take over until it’s a hot tag to D-Von. There’s nothing interesting going on here. I still want to know why they think pushing D-Von is a good thing. Neal tags himself in, spears Hernandez but walks into a spinebuster from D-Von for the pin at 5:06.

Rating: D+. Whatever man. The tag division is such a joke anymore without any solid teams in there. It’s like the tag champions and the #1 contenders are just slapped together with no real rhyme or reason. This isn’t going to be much of a match and does anyone buy that these guys are going to get the titles?

Here’s Austin Aries to talk a bit. He says he has a problem as the greatest man that ever lived. His plan was to revitalize the division and bring in some greatness, but his greatness is so far ahead of everyone else. It’s time to call this the A Double division. No one can hold a candle to him so….oh dang it here’s Kid Kash.

He talks about Turning Point and how Aries screwed him over after Kash took out Sorensen for him. It’s an old vs. new argument and Aries says he’s champion. Kash says he held it before. Aries says shake my hand and you have a shot. They shake hands and punch each other at the same time. I think that’s supposed to be a face turn for Kash.

Gunner goes to find Garrett Bischoff at a gym.

AJ says he’ll win tonight.

Gunner tries to find Garrett Bischoff but finds someone else who he beats up. No one else seems to care. He keeps looking and annoys someone else. Gunner beats up two more people and then the original guy comes back. There’s a clothesline for him and then he chokes the guy down. He hurts a guy’s arm and tried to be menacing, saying he’s coming for Garrett.

Sting yells at Jarrett, telling him to stay out of the main event tonight. Jarrett says Sting has no room to talk because he was in the match with Hardy at Victory Road. Sting says there will be consequences if Jarrett interferes. Jarrett says he might be willing to pay that consequence.

More parenting stuff from Roode’s “wife”.

The Knockouts are still washing cars. Taz’s car is in line for later and a bus or something like that comes up.

Steiner is lifting weights when Ray comes up to talk about Abyss. CAN WE HAVE A WRESTLING MATCH ALREADY??? Steiner suggests offering a freak to Abyss to get him to join their team again.

Mickie James vs. ODB

Street fight. It’s a brawl on the ramp to start and they roll towards the ring. Street fights mean falls count anywhere here I guess. Mickie’s rana is countered into a powerbomb. They go into the crowd and Mickie fights back in front of a handicap ramp. ODB hits her with a lot of metal stuff and Mickie looks a bit dead. We do the odd hardcore match thing where people insist on walking around.

She walks around even more until Mickie gets in a chop. Gee, I wonder if the minute long walk had anything to do with her getting a second wind. Back to the ring and Mickie starts her comeback. ODB breaks up the jumping DDT and gets a chair. Like any idiot, she holds it in front of her face to allow Mickie to kick the chair into her face for the pin at 7:00.

Rating: D+. Well that was pretty dull. I have no idea why they went walking around like that but I never get that in any wrestling match with hardcore rules. ODB continues to look like an idiot and the girls are still better than the Divas, but they’re still nothing to blow my skirt up. The weak show continues.

Storm (at home) says he’s still out with a concussion. Angle interrupts and asks Storm how it felt to have his head bashed in and how his daughter reacted to it. Angle blames Storm for losing the title so Angle says be here next week to confirm a match at Final Resolution. Storm says it’ll be a beating, not a match.

Some chicks are in the back and looking for Abyss.

We see the long version of Roode’s family complaining. Roode says he got them a bunch of stuff with the money so if he’s a user, so are they.

TV Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Robbie E

Why do I have a feeling the obvious ending isn’t the one that is going to happen? RVD dominates to start and sends Robbie to the floor quickly. Big Rob gets in a shot to take over and Robbie pounds away a bit. Back to the floor and here’s Eric Young in underwear with a fire extinguisher. RVD gets a kick to the face and hits the Five Star but Eric has the referee. Daniels runs in and hits Angel’s Wings on RVD so Robbie can get the pin at 4:02.

Rating: Rob. What else do you want me to call it? This was about as predictable as you could want it to be, which isn’t saying much. The match wasn’t the point here obviously and the idea was to have Daniels run in and Young to be all wacky because that’s all he knows how to do.

Steiner’s girls are all messed up after meeting Abyss.

The Knockouts get in a fight with the water and soap. Karen comes in with garden hoses and sprays them all down.

Robert Roode vs. AJ Styles vs. Jeff Hardy

This has over twenty minutes to go so maybe it’ll be good. This is non-title of course. Roode immediately hits the floor and we get our first contact about a minute in with both guys beating on Roode. He gets ping-ponged between the two of them and then clotheslined to the floor. Time for the face showdown….or not. Instead they get in a mini argument over who gets to dive to the floor. Hardy hits a baseball slide as we take a break.

Back with Roode hitting a belly to back suplex for one as Hardy makes the save. AJ gets his eyes raked and accidentally hits Hardy, giving us the showdown we’ve been waiting for. AJ hits his drop down into a dropkick sequence but Hardy takes over and gets two of his own. Roode comes back in and beats both guys down before focusing on Hardy. Spinebuster gets two.

AJ pops back up with the springboard forearm and backflip into the reverse DDT on Roode. Roode takes over again and hits a fisherman’s suplex on AJ which Hardy breaks up. Twist of Fate to Roode and he loads up the Swanton, but here’s Jarrett to crotch him. Roode covers Hardy for the easy pin at 14:30.

Rating: C. Pretty ok match here but at the end of the day, so what? This is more about pushing Jeff vs. Jeff again and that’s not exactly something interesting. Not a bad match at all but I’ve never been a fan of three ways, which isn’t helping things here. At least it sets up a match at Final Resolution, which we’ll get to now.

Sting comes out and makes Jeff vs. Jeff in a cage at the PPV. If Jarrett escapes first, Hardy is gone. If Hardy escapes first, he gets the title shot at Genesis. Karen comes out to yell so she’ll be handcuffed to Sting during the match.

Overall Rating: D+. The biggest problem with this show is that the pacing problems were back. There were five minutes of wrestling in the first hour and for what? So we could have segments about Gunner, Garrett Bischoff, and the Knockouts in swimsuits? That’s what we’re focusing on now? This was a backstage heavy show and that’s really not all that interesting. Also, you don’t need to have Roode’s family pop in all through the show if you’re going to show a full version of it later on. Not a bad show, but pretty boring overall.

Results
D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero b. Mexican America and Ink Inc – Spinebuster to Neal
Mickie James b. ODB – Spinning kick to the face
Robbie E b. Rob Van Dam – Pin after Angel’s Wings
Bobby Roode b. AJ Styles and Jeff Hardy – Pinned Hardy after Jeff Jarrett interfered

 

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Impact Wrestling – November 24, 2011 – An Elimination Match On Thanksgiving? That’s So Last Century

Impact Wrestling
Date: November 24, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

It’s Turkey Day here in the Impact Zone and that usually means a pretty fun show from these guys. There’s always the chance of the return of the turkey suit which thankfully isn’t coming out of a huge egg and dancing with a bald interviewer. Expect a bit more build towards Final Resolution but the majority of things should be a bit lighter tonight, which is fine. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video of last week with Storm looking for his attacker with Angle being the reveal at the end of the show. There’s still tension between Storm and AJ.

Here’s Angle, who along with Storm will captain teams for an elimination tag later. On Thanksgiving? You don’t say! Kurt says it wasn’t an attack from behind. James just didn’t see him coming. Cue Storm who says this is beyond personal. It’s business now and if Angle says he won’t jump someone from behind, here’s his chance to fight face to face. Angle says this is about Storm stealing the title from Angle so Angle cost him the title in Georgia. Immortal plus Daniels comes out so Storm SHOWS HE HAS A BRAIN by hitting Angle once and running. Anderson, AJ and RVD come out for the big brawl.

Eric Young brings an old referee back on a homemade bicycle. Rudy Charles brings out the turkey suit.

We recap Mexican America losing the tag titles last week to Morgan/Crimson.

Tag Titles: Mexican America vs. Crimson/Matt Morgan

A big brawl to start is won by the champions and it’s down to Anarquia vs. Morgan. The beating begins as the champions pound him down. A double chokeslam ends this in 1:57. Total squash.

Eric Young says Sting has said there’s officially a turkey suit challenge later on. It’s a regular match and the loser has to wear the suit. Rob Terry gives him a pat down and says he’s not on the list. If Robbie doesn’t do it, he’s stripped of the title. The Robs go to find Sting and Young admits Sting didn’t say any of that.

Here are Karen and her associates. She calls out five of the Knockouts (Tara, Tessmacher, Winter, Angelina and Velvet) and gets them very quickly. The fans want a rematch but the fans (according to Karen) want more skin. Tonight it’s the first lingerie ball.

The face Knockouts whine about the match. Yeah…..I’d buy that if the pigeons weren’t always being let loose.

The heel Knockouts are happy when Mickie comes in to yell at Gail in private. They leave the door open and Mickie yells at Gail for going against whatever she said when she wasn’t in there. Mickie gets beaten down.

Angelina Love/Winter/Madison Rayne vs. Tara/Velvet Sky/Brooke Tessmacher

They’re all in lingerie/thongs. The anger over it isn’t working at all but they look good. Scratch the thongs actually. It’s a regular six person tag. Winter shows off and looks good like that. Tessmacher rips her shirt off and is in the exact same thing she wrestles in. For chicks that are ticked off, they don’t seem to mind posing on the ropes. Velvet is in less clothing than usual. They have a pose off until FINALLY the evil ones jump them. There’s a quick commercial as Tara and Winter get us going.

Back with the good chicks in control and Tessmacher gives Winter a Stink Face. Yeah we get it: it’s embarrassing or whatever. Do an actual move please. Tessmacher gets beaten down as Taz is talking about Helen Keller. Madison is far more covered than she usually is. Hot tag finally brings in Velvet and house is cleaned. Madison grabs a belt but Mickie comes out for the save. Velvet’s bad facebuster ends this at 13:18.

Rating: F. Dumb premise, dumb anger, no thongs, dumb match.

Here’s Hardy in a mask but it’s actually Jeff Jarrett. He wants to know why the fans love Hardy. Is it because he looks like a clown? Perhaps the bizarre promos or the stupid chances he takes for the fans. Jarrett wants Hardy’s fans to grow up and embarrass the company they work for. Here’s Hardy at a full sprint to beat down Jarrett. Immortal plus Daniels makes the save. Immortal comes out (plus Daniels and Roode….oh no) and here’s Team Storm for the save. Jarrett sends Hardy into the steps and then does it again. Immortal stands tall.

We get a history of the turkey suit match which is one of those funny things that you can get in wrestling.

Robbie E vs. Eric Young

Robbie jumps him on the floor and beats up the turkey suit also. This is non title. Rudy counts really slowly. He won’t drop the suit for the count and we’re in a total comedy match here. Robbie gets what was presumably loaded punch for the pin at 2:14. The referee sees it and reverses the decision. Oh wait he restarts the match. Robbie shoves the referee and a piledriver ends this clean. Total comedy match and there isn’t a thing wrong with that.

Big Rob has to put on the suit because Robbie is out cold.

Rudy and Eric train for next year on a bike but Rudy crashes.

Team Angle vs. Team Storm

AJ Styles, Mr. Anderson, Rob Van Dam, Jeff Hardy
Jeff Jarrett, Bully Ray, Christopher Daniels, Bobby Roode

There’s been talk all night about Hardy being on the team but he’s not mentioned here. Storm is in street clothes. Oh wait Angle and Storm aren’t wrestling. Ok then. So it’s 4-3? This is an elimination style match so it’s Survivor Series rules. Roode sits in on commentary because he’s not loose yet. AJ vs. Daniels gets us off because we need something new. After nothing of note happens there it’s off to Jarrett vs. Anderson.

Van Dam comes in and this is starting pretty slowly. Rob gets caught in the corner and Ray takes over on him with a splash. Not hot tag to Anderson who takes over with some elbows and a neckbreaker for two. Ray hits a Rock Bottom and Roode heads to the ring. He steals a tag and gets the pin on Anderson to make it 4-3 or 4-2 depending on how you look at it.

Here’s AJ to speed things way up with a backdrop. I think the ankle is ok now. Roode hits him low right in front of the referee for….not a DQ. Ok yeah it was but there was no bell. Ah there’s the announcement. We take a break as Daniels pounds on AJ. Back with Ray coming in to beat down AJ even more. AJ counters Angel’s Wings into a rana and then the Pele puts Daniels down.

Hot tag brings in RVD who cleans house with various kicks. Rolling Thunder puts Daniels down but Angle breaks up the Five Star. He and Storm fight up the ramp but RVD gets rolled up and pinned to make it 3-1. Daniels is bleeding from the mouth. It’s a 3-1 beatdown and Ray tells Daniels to give him the moonsault. It eats knees/feet because Ray shouted GIVE HIM THE MOONSAULT. Ray accidentally takes out Jarrett and a Pele puts Ray down.

Cue Hardy as all four are down. He’s pulling his pants up as he comes out. What was he doing before that??? Hardy slips on the apron as he comes out but there’s the hot tag anyway. He cleans house and the Twist takes out Daniels to tie things up. Twist to Jarrett is countered so Hardy gets a small package to take him out instead. A HUGE boot takes Hardy down for two and Jarrett hammers on Hardy a bit more. AJ makes a blind tag and hits the forearm on Ray to win it at 18:45.

Rating: C-. Not bad here and it makes Hardy look like a star which is the right idea. It’s nothing we haven’t seen a bunch before but it didn’t need to be. Hardy stands tall and we’ll get to some post match stuff here in a few seconds. For a Thanksgiving show main event, this was certainly fine.

Roode lays out both winners with the belt post match.

Overall Rating: C. I’m going with right in the middle here. On a normal week this would have been around an F, but the thing you have to remember here is that it’s Thanksgiving. There’s no reason to assume this show was going to be anything of note and it wasn’t supposed to be. No one is going to watch the show, so why waste anything big on it? You see Raw do this a lot and there’s nothing wrong with that. Not an interesting show, but all things considered this was fine. Well ok it was bad but there are a lot of things to consider on it.

Results
Matt Morgan/Crimson b. Mexican America – Double chokeslam to Anarquia
Brooke Tessmacher/Tara/Velvet Sky b. Winter/Angelina Love/Madison Rayne – BeauDT to Rayne
Eric Young b. Robbie E – Piledriver
Team Storm b. Team Angle last eliminating Bully Ray

 

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Impact Wrestling – November 17, 2011 – We Have An Attacker

Impact Wrestling
Date: November 16, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Well we’re after the Turning Point PPV now and head towards Final Resolution which is likely going to see AJ vs. Roode II because AJ was injured in the previous match. Also because there really isn’t anyone else to face Roode at the moment. Other than that, expect more Bischoff vs. Bischoff stuff to bore the fans out of their minds. Impact has been good lately though so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the main event of Turning Point where Roode cheated to keep the title.

Here’s Roode to open the show. He says it’s a shame to think he was part of Fourtune. He was the star, he was the leader and he was the future of the company. Roode says he got rid of the two of them and here’s Storm. They’ve made him the real star of the company in this. Storm wants to know why Roode jumped him, which Roode denies. Storm doesn’t care so he charges but security stops him. He turns around to have AJ behind him and the beating is on. Security pulls them apart and are about as successful as they usually are.

Post break AJ rants some more and Roode says no rematch. The brawl starts up again and cue Sting. He makes a 30 minute iron man match for Final Resolution for the title.

After we hear Taz and Mike talk a bit, Roode goes after Dixie in the front row. AJ makes the save but Roode hits him in the back to knock Dixie down as well.

Joe comes up to Storm in the back and says it wasn’t Roode as he saw him the whole time. Joe says it wasn’t him either. They fight anyway since this is TNA where backstage brawls are required by law.

Sting goes after Roode post break, saying that was like putting Roode’s hands on Sting.

TV Title: Robbie E vs. D-Von

Pope is hitting on some blonde outside. D-Von takes over to start and runs him over with a clothesline. Some shoulders and a side slam put him down as well. D-Von throws him to the floor right in front of Pope. Pope slaps Robbie and is drilled by Terry for his efforts. D-Von’s kids go after Terry for no apparent reason and Eric Young comes down to pop Terry with a chair which does nothing. D-Von’s distraction lets Robbie roll him up at 2:00 to retain.

D-Von yells at his kids post match and they stay with Pope.

Sting talks to Garrett, praising him for his match last week. Garrett wants more of Gunner and Sting isn’t sure. Garrett leaves when Morgan and Crimson come up. They wind up with a tag title shot later in the show. Sting is worried about the lack of a tag division or something.

Eric and Flair rant about Garret when Sting comes up to them talk about the rewriting of Bischoff’s contract. However Eric doesn’t have a signed contract so it doesn’t mean jack. Sting makes Garrett vs. Gunner for later.

Kid Kash/Austin Aries vs. Jesse Sorensen/Brian Kendrick

Kendrick has dark hair now. Jesse vs. Kash to start because we haven’t seen that enough yet. Cross body off the top gets two for Jesse. Aries won’t tag in and Kash gets rolled up for two by Kendrick. Aries comes in for about a second, ducks an enziguri and here’s Kash again. Hot tag to Jesse and he gets a northern lights for two. Aries walks out to make this a handicap match. Kash misses a moonsault and Sorensen hits a reverse Cross Rhodes (it ends in a DDT) for the pin at 5:02.

Rating: C-. I’m so over Kid Kash at this point that it’s not even funny. The guy is old, he’s fat, he can’t talk, and he’s not interesting. He’s never meant anything but he’s running his mouth about being a legend which no one even remembers. Nothing to see here as it’s the same stuff they’ve been doing for awhile.

Karen is her usual self and gives Gail the night off.

Anderson is playing a football game in the back when Storm comes up, wanting to know if Anderson had anything to do with it.

Gauntlet Match

There are ten chicks in it and the winner is #1 contender. Velvet vs. Rosita starts us off. I’ll only be giving the total time for this. Velvet is in blue which I highly approve of. Velvet hits a facebuster to end Rosita in about 4 seconds. Tessmacher is next and we have some good looking women in TNA. Brooke takes over and hits her Stinkface thing and takes her top off. A bulldog ends her a second later.

Fourth is Angelina who counters the facebuster into a rollup with tights to end it. I hate gauntlet matches because most of them are quick wins that are totally unrealistic by comparison to regular matches. Velvet kicks Mickie in the face on her way to the ring and we take a break. Back with Love hammering on Mickie which doesn’t last long as Mickie kicks her head off for a quick pin.

Off to Sarita in 6th and this is UGLY. Sarita botches a springboard move, landing on Mickie’s head despite Mickie ducking. A sloppy jumping DDT (head didn’t hit) ends this a bit later. Tara is 7th and they hit the match. Tara throws on a heel hook and then the standing moonsault for two. Another somewhat bad jumping DDT gets us to Winter who is still gorgeous. A bridging suplex gets two as Mickie is getting tired.

Mickie escapes a fireman’s carry and hits a SICK kick to Winter’s head for the elimination. ODB is in at 9 and is A LOT slimmer. She even had abs. A fallaway slam sets up a nipup and a Bronco Buster. She’s in camo pants now which works a lot better for her than the long shirt she usually wears. Top rope Thesz Press gets rid of ODB and Madison is last. ODB drills Mickie before leaving and hits a TKO (love that move). Madison walks around forever and Mickie rolls her up for a surprise pin at 15:02.

Rating: D. I hate these matches. The 9 eliminations took WAY too short an amount of time and it’s unrealistic even from a wrestling perspective. Nothing to see here although the girls looked hot and it’s amazing how much better/in depth the Knockouts are than the Divas at this point.

Ray is talking to some ugly chick (joke from Turning Point I think) when Storm comes up. He says take a free shot because he thinks Ray was involved. Ray says no but he knows who it was and that person is here. He offers Storm a spot in Immortal and Storm turns him down flat.

Garrett says he hopes Gunner underestimates him again tonight.

Here’s Hardy and we get a quick shot from Turning Point where he beat Jarrett three times in a row. He says thanks to the fans and promises to always be there for them. His sights are shifting to the world title and that brings out Karen. She says someone with some balls needs to put Hardy in his place. She has the biggest set here and says Hardy needs to do more than just have sad eyes.

What he did at Turning Point wasn’t being a man and Hardy needs to be one. She calls Hardy disrespectful and talks about Hardy’s wife Beth. Karen pretended to be Beth’s friend and performance problems are implied. She tries to get Jeff to hit her and says he didn’t beat Jarrett fairly. Karen goes to slap him but Jeff blocks it. Here’s Jeff Jarrett with the AAA belt but Hardy sees it coming. Karen tries a low blow but Hardy grabs it and the brawl is on.

Flair and Bischoff give Gunner a pep talk, saying destroy Garrett tonight.

Tag Titles: Mexican America vs. Crimson/Matt Morgan

Crimson vs. Anarquia starts us off and the chicks distract Red Boy so Hernandez can clothesline him down. LAX beats on Crimson who can’t get anything going in the first three minutes or so. A shoulder/spear takes down SuperMex and it’s a double tag for Morgan and Anarquia. Morgan throws everyone around and chokeslams Anarquia for two. Exploder suplex and the Carbon Footprint give us new champions at 5:21.

Rating: C-. Not much to see here but the titles need a shot in the arm at this point. Maybe this is it and that’s perfectly fine. I hope this goes somewhere different than Morgan and Hernandez went to as that did no one any favors. Too short to mean much but this could have been a lot worse. At least Mexican America and their dead end gimmick is over.

Storm thinks he knows who the attacker is.

Garrett Bischoff vs. Gunner

Sting, Eric and Flair are in corners. Garrett has his own song now. He uses basic stuff to start and it’s off to Gunner in control because he’s, you know, not a referee. A charge of his hits the post but Eric grabs Garrett’s foot and Gunner takes over again. A spear in the corner has Garrett in trouble but you know the fluke pin is coming. And there it is as Garrett counters a suplex into a DDT for the clean pin at 3:56.

Rating: F. The match sucked, but maybe that’s because HE IS A REFEREE. I know he’s Bischoff’s son, and that’s what’s wrong with this story: the guy has no reason to be in the ring but he’s there anyway because he’s Eric Bischoff’s son and is getting 3-4 segments a show and going over people like Gunner instead of people like Alex Shelley or someone else going over him. That’s why this angle doesn’t work.

Here’s Storm for the big finish. He says he’s being passed over because he’s too southern and that’s not right. Storm calls out AJ of all people and Styles is a little banged up still. AJ: “Are you kidding me?” AJ doesn’t think that makes sense because he’s been the one behind Storm the entire time. Storm points out that ever since Storm has been on the shelf, AJ has gotten two shots at Roode. Styles says Sting made those decisions and denies being the attacker.

They’re about to fight when Kaz comes out to break them up. Kaz gets AJ out of the ring and Angle comes in from under the ring for the beatdown. We have an attacker.

Overall Rating: C+. Pretty decent show tonight where the wrestling matches don’t add up to the final grade of the show. A good amount of stuff happened here with new champions and a new main event level feud starting up. I’m ok with Angle being the guy but it can’t end with Angle going over Storm. They’ve made a new star in the Cowboy and they need to keep him strong. Beating Angle in a feud would be a great way to do that, but Angle going over would completely miss the point. Decent show tonight though.

Results
Robbie E b. D-Von – Rollup
Jesse Sorensen/Brian Kendrick b. Kid Kash/Austin Aries – Spinning DDT to Kash
Mickie James won a gauntlet match last eliminating Madison Rayne
Crimson/Matt Morgan b. Mexican America – Carbon Footprint to Anarquia
Garrett Bischoff b. Gunner – DDT

 

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Turning Point Preview

The show is tomorrow night and even after watching Impact regularly, I’m not sure what all the matches are.  I’ve heard of a few more being announced, but it’s not like they’ve had a ton of time to build them up.  Here are the predictions.Roode to retain of course.  There’s no way he’s dropping the title that fast after winning it.  This match is as slapped on as an octopus tattoo during a drunken night on the town.

 

Geez what are the other big matches?  It’s pretty sad that I have to check Wikipedia to remember them less than 48 hours after watching the Go Home show.

 

Hardy over Jarrett.  No way they’re having Jeff lose that fast.  Hardy I mean, not Jarrett.  This is going to get really annoying when I write the review.

 

Daniels over RVD with some cheating involved.  Remember when like 13 months ago RVD was in the main event of the show of the year?

 

And Crimson to beat Morgan in what is not a dream match no matter what they say.

 

Thoughts/predictions?

 

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