IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 26, 2018
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Don Callis, Josh Matthews

We’re past Redemption and that means it’s time to get ready for Slammiversary. What that means is kind of up in the air at this point but it really could go in a variety of directions. Above all else though, we have a new World Champion as Pentagon Jr. defeated Austin Aries and Fenix in a triple threat match on Sunday. Let’s get to it.

Here are the Redemption results if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of Redemption, including results from every match.

Earlier today, Austin Aries talked to the roster and said he’s still the Grand Champion so it’s now the top title. Aries makes a bunch of excuses and Moose calls him out on them before walking out. The rest of the people leave as well. Sounds heel turnish to me.

Opening sequence.

The pay per view set is now the regular set.

Brian Cage vs. Trevor Lee

Lee drops to the floor for a meeting with Caleb Konley to start before a shoulder drops him to the floor again. Cage throws him around and shrugs off a forearm but a Konley distraction lets Lee kick him outside. Back in and a bridging German suplex gives Lee two and Konley adds in some choking. That’s enough for Cage who Hulks Up and hits a powerslam, followed by the apron superplex. The Drill Claw puts Lee away at 5:04.

Rating: D+. Cage is starting to run through some bigger names and it wouldn’t shock me if the names get bigger and bigger as we move forward. There’s a certain monster quality to him and I wouldn’t be surprised to see him near the World Title picture within the next year or so. Lee isn’t going to lose anything by getting destroyed here, but it was nice to have him get in some offense.

A livid Eddie Edwards arrived earlier today and ran into Tommy Dreamer (in a Lucha Underground shirt). Tommy told him to go be with his wife but Eddie shoved him out of the way.

Here’s Eddie in the arena to talk about putting Sami Callihan in the hospital. He’s not done though because he wants to put OVE in there right next to Sami. Cue OVE for the 2-1 fight and Eddie runs through them before grabbing the kendo stick. We cut to the hospital room where someone in a wheelchair with balloons covering his face rolls up to Alisha Edwards’ bed. It’s a very banged up Callihan, who says he wants to talk.

OH MY GOODNESS how stupid can Eddie be? A few weeks ago he sees OVE in his wife’s hotel and then LEAVES after checking on her for a few seconds. Now he leaves her IN THE SAME HOSPITAL WHERE CALLIHAN IS STAYING??? My goodness I know he’s a face in wrestling but Sting would find this dumb.

We look at Sunday’s main event.

Classic clip: the Steiner Brothers vs. Team 3D at Bound For Glory. I really wouldn’t point out that one half of your Tag Team Champions was old eleven years ago.

Video on DJZ, who is back after over a year away.

Moose vs. Braxton Sutter

Sutter’s pre-match promo is cut off by Moose’s music. Moose throws him into the corner to start and dropkicks him out to the floor in a heap. Sutter gets in a whip to send Moose into the barricade, followed by a suplex into the corner for two. That earns Sutter a running elbow and running dropkick in the corner, followed by a spear for the pin at 3:32.

Rating: D. Nearly a total squash here, which makes sense as Sutter has announced that he’s done with the promotion. It’s not like Sutter has done anything of note in the company and now that he and Su Yung seem to be done, there’s no reason to not have him go out on his back like this.

Post match the fans chant HAPPY BIRTHDAY at Moose. He wants Pentagon Jr. and the World Title.

Matt Sydal promises to retain the X-Division Title against Taiji Ishimori. A commotion is heard and we go to see someone (not clear who) unconscious with an X on their chest.

LAX wants the titles back but also want to know what’s happened to Konnan.

Knockouts Title: Taya Valkyrie vs. Allie

Allie is defending. Taya wastes no time in jumping Allie and hammering away in the corner. Allie’s comeback is cut off in very short order as Taya powers her down without much effort. A running dropkick in the corner only hits buckle and Allie is in even more trouble. Taya is all fired up but the Road to Valhalla is broken up, allowing Allie to hit the superkick and Codebreaker to retain at 4:17. That was pretty much all of her offense.

Rating: D. Nothing to this one and Taya deserved more than that in a title shot. Allie shrugged off everything Taya threw at her and won with her regular stuff in short order. The match needed more time, but then we wouldn’t have been able to plug the Steiner Brothers vs. Team 3D match and that’s WAY more important.

Post match Su Yung appears, flanked by a bunch of dead brides. They load up a casket but Rosemary appears for the showdown. The lights go out again and Su is gone.

Slammiversary is in Toronto.

KM yells at Fallah Bahh, his partner for next week. Why in the world are these two getting TV time?

Eddie goes to the hospital to see Alisha, who isn’t happy with him leaving her there. He goes into Callihan’s room and beats the heck out of him until a bunch of doctors make the save. This crazy Eddie character is actually working for me.

Video on Kongo Kong vs. Johnny Impact from last week.

Tag Team Titles: Eli Drake/Scott Steiner vs. LAX

Drake and Steiner are defending. Before the match, Steiner says he promised he’d win “last night” (which he says twice) because he’s world famous. Konnan was at Taco Bell due to a discount on burritos so we know his priorities. The champs stall on the floor for a long time before Ortiz drives Drake into the corner to start. Santana comes in for a chop of his own but gets taken outside and sent into the steps by Steiner as we take a break. Back with Steiner getting two off a belly to belly as he picks Santana up.

The fans chant for LAX but get cut off when Steiner “hits” a belly to belly superplex (not rotating enough and nearly falling backwards). It’s back to Drake (thankfully) for a chinlock as we hear that Edwards has been arrested. Well duh. Santana rolls over for a tag so Ortiz can get two off a short DDT. The Death Valley Driver gets two more on Drake but the Street Sweeper is countered into a powerslam (ala Rick Steiner back in the day) to pin Ortiz and retain the titles at 10:54.

Rating: D+. Steiner continues to be scary with some of those near botches, but at least they have a “big name” on the roster now right? Steiner does offer some star power but really, how much is he going to be able to offer without maiming someone? I can’t imagine that he’s going to be around very long but I’m still not a fan.

Post match Drake holds up the World Title briefcase and suggests that he’s cashing in right now. Actually it’s just a warning, but here’s Aries anyway. Back from a break, Aries says he’s healing from a dislocated elbow and looks at the “suitcase”. The fans chant for Aries, who says he wishes they were here on Sunday. The Grand Championship is what matters now but he’ll get the World Title back soon enough.

Drake wants to fight Pentagon, Aries and the Easter Bunny because it means he’s getting the title back. Cue Pentagon Jr. to say CERO MIEDO (zero fear) but Steiner and Drake beat down Pentagon and Aries. They fight back and clear the champs out of the ring, leaving Aries and Pentagon to stare each other down to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. I wasn’t feeling this one, as there wasn’t a lot in the vein of storyline advancement and the wrestling was nothing of note. Allie and Rosemary continue to be an interesting team but really, there’s not much else to go on here. That being said, they have a ton of time to get ready for the next pay per view so it’s not like this needed to be incredible. Not the worst, but nothing that pulled me in.

Results

Brian Cage b. Trevor Lee – Drill Claw

Moose b. Braxton Sutter – Spear

Allie b. Taya Valkyrie – Codebreaker

Eli Drake/Scott Steiner b. LAX – Powerslam to Ortiz

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 12, 2018
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Sonjay Dutt

We’re past Impact Wrestling vs. Lucha Underground and that means we need to hit the hard push towards Redemption. Now that being said, there’s the whole fact that Alberto El Patron has been dropped from the main event due to being Alberto. Hopefully they’ve had time to record something to address the situation, as otherwise a big chunk of this show will be a big waste of time. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of the Impact vs. Lucha Underground show, including the announcement of Alberto no showing and the new Redemption main event of Austin Aries defending the World Title against Fenix and Pentagon Dark. Really, that’s better for everyone all around.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Eli Drake with both briefcases….and an apology? He didn’t think much of the Tag Team Title briefcase but now he realizes he could have all the titles in this company in no time. At Redemption he’s picking up the Tag Team Titles but here’s LAX to interrupt. Konnan gets straight to the point of asking who Drake’s partner is going to be. Drake brings out Scott Steiner, looking like a grandfather more than anything else.

Steiner talks about how awesome the Steiner Brothers were and brags about being a World Champion on the NWO (wrong stable). They’ll win the titles but LAX doesn’t want to hear about it. Konnan laughs all of this off and says Steiner might beat Drake down before they even get to the match. Eli doesn’t care and says they’ll win anyway, but Konnan says play the LAX music so everyone can leave. Bringing Steiner in makes my head hurt, as it costs money and ignores the rest of the roster, many of whom could benefit from something like this.

The announcers talk about how awesome WrestleCon was and plug the rest of the card.

From December 1, 2016, Rosemary defeats Jade in a Six Sides of Steel match to win the Knockouts Title.

Sami Callihan vs. Moose

Moose wastes no time in hitting some running splashes in the corner, followed by a running hesitation dropkick. He can’t suplex Callihan to the floor though and gets clotheslined outside instead. A suicide dive sends Moose into the barricade but he’s right back with a weak apron powerbomb. The second attempt looks a little better so Sami is right back with a low blow to send us to a break.

Back with Sami hitting a running boot in the corner and walking into a powerbomb for his efforts. The chokebomb out of the corner gets two as the crowd is almost eerily quiet for this. Sami eventually pulls him down into a sunset bomb but walks into the Game Changer for two. Not that it matters as Sami hits him with the baseball bat for the DQ at 14:10.

Rating: D+. I’m just not feeling Sami and I never have. He’s a pretty standard brawler (though I’ve seen him crank it up before). At the same time, this is a pretty solid waste of Moose. He went from a Feast or Fired World Title case to getting beaten up by OVE. Maybe it’s me not caring for OVE whatsoever, but that’s quite the significant downgrade.

Post match the beatdown is on until Eddie Edwards runs in for the save. He’s beaten down as well so here’s Eddie’s wife Alisha to cover him up. The lights go out and it’s Tommy Dreamer (ERG) coming in for the real save with the kendo stick. Dreamer talks about fighting a war for his entire career so it’s a six man House of Hardcore match at Redemption. Cross promotion is fine, but my goodness why does it have to be Dreamer?

Josh Matthews vs. Petey Williams

Before the match, Josh blames Petey for the loss the Grand Championship and preventing Matt Sydal from being the World Champion. Tonight, he destroys the Destroyer. Josh hides in the corner to start and then bails to the floor and there’s no contact in the first two minutes. Sydal offers a distraction and Josh forearms Petey in the back so the chase is o again. Another distraction lets Josh forearm him down again but Petey is right back up with the Sharpshooter as Dutt is in stitches. That’s broken up with a distraction so Petey loads up the Destroyer, drawing in Sydal for the DQ at 3:57.

Rating: F. I’m not sure what the point of this one was but I know it was rather stupid. Matthews and Sydal’s spirit animal/spiritual guide thing isn’t working for me as Matthews should have been more like Michael Cole to Sydal’s Miz. Williams isn’t exactly thrilling me either but it’s not like much depth in the first place.

Petey gets beaten down post match.

Video on Brian Cage beating Bobby Lashley twice in a row.

Johnny Impact is tired of Kongo Kong and Jimmy Jacobs interfering so here they are again. Impact wants a fight next week and it seems to be set.

We recap KM insulting Richard Justice (who is TOTALLY above being mocked) and setting up a six man tag tonight.

KM/Cult of Lee vs. Fallah Bahh/Tyrus/Richard Justice

Bahh cleans house to start by running Lee over and rolling over him for good measure. Justice comes in for some lefts and rights as we seem to be firmly in the comedy match zone to start. A few shots keep Justice in the wrong corner but it’s off to Tyrus in short order. Tyrus gets two off a Big Ending and everything breaks down. The Tongan Death Grip into a Banzai Drop puts KM away at 5:26.

Rating: D. Well that happened. They set up the match last week and then blew it off here with almost nothing significant happening. I get the idea here, but Justice has been there as a joke for months now (and not a very funny one at that) so I have it kind of hard to make myself care about his feelings being hurt. Nothing match of course.

Taya Valkyrie vs. Rosemary

This is a Demon’s Dance match, which seems to be another anything goes match. They waste no time in starting the brawl and head straight to the floor. Taya can’t hit the Road to Valhalla on the ramp but Rosemary can’t get the Red Wedding there either. Back to ringside with Taya throwing a bunch of chairs inside.

One gets wedged into the corner but Taya puts a second onto Rosemary in the corner, setting up some running knees. Another shot drives a chair between Rosemary’s legs for two but she’s right back up with a Sling Blade onto another chair. Now it’s ladder time but Taya gets in a suplex instead of being thrown into the steel.

The second attempt works better for Rosemary though and now it’s time for a table. Back in and Rosemary misses a charge into the chair to give Taya two. They head to the corner and neither can hit a super version of their finisher through a table. Instead Rosemary PILEDRIVES HER OFF THE MIDDLE ROPE THROUGH THE TABLE, which thankfully is good for the pin at 10:13.

Rating: B. These two beat the heck out of each other with that finish being a sight to behold. In theory this puts Rosemary on a path towards a match for the Knockouts Title but seeing her vs. Allie is almost hard to picture for some reason. If nothing else I don’t want to see her vs. Su Yung in a battle of too similar characters, so maybe Allie is the easier call. Either way, very fun brawl here with a nearly scary finish.

Here’s the same video that opened the show.

We wrap up the show with nearly ten minutes of highlights from Impact Wrestling vs. Lucha Underground. I’m guessing this was all they could do to replace an Alberto segment. If so, that’s perfectly understandable.

Overall Rating: D+. The main event helped but there’s only so much you can do with the rest of this show. It wasn’t the worst show in the world but my goodness I don’t even want to imagine how bad the show would have been with some more focus on Alberto. The stories are developing, though they’re just nothing that I’m all that interested in at the moment. Hopefully Redemption is a lot better, but at the moment I’m not exactly thrilled.

Results

Moose b. Sami Callihan via DQ when Sami used a baseball bat

Petey Williams b. Josh Matthews via DQ when Matt Sydal interfered

Tyrus/Fallah Bahh/Richard Justice b. KM/Cult of Lee – Banzai Drop to KM

Rosemary b. Taya Valkyrie – Super piledriver through a table

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 15, 2018
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Sonjay Dutt

Things are entering a new phase here as we’re done with Crossroads, meaning it’s time to get ready for the next big show. While that hasn’t been announced yet, there is at least a hint of the upcoming World Title feud with Alberto El Patron staring down Austin Aries last week. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s episode if you need a recap.

Jeremy Borash (flashback time) is with everyone involved in Feast or Fired. The point of this: they’re all in Feast or Fired.

Recap of Crossroads. That really was a good show.

Opening sequence.

Sami Callihan vs. Fallah Bahh

Sami bounces off the huge Bahh and gets knocked into the corner by the power of the belly. The third knockdown has Sami bailing to the floor for a meeting with OVE. Their advice: shout a lot. Back in and Bahh takes him down to put a toe in Sami’s mouth. What’s the massive appeal of this guy again? Granted that could be said of Sami as well.

Callihan finally pulls him down by the head for a breather and some stomping keeps Bahh down for all of two seconds. A belly to belly plants Sami for two as the announcers plug the WrestleCon show. The Samoan drop connects but Sami is back up with a low blow and a Death Valley Driver (not bad) ends Bahh at 5:48.

Rating: D. Standard Yokozuna formula match here and that’s all you can do with someone Bahh’s size. I’m still not big on Callihan so keeping him short here was the right call. At least he didn’t horribly maim anyone this time around so things are looking up. As long as they keep Callihan around this level, everything will be fine. I’m worried that he’ll be moving up soon though and that’s just not a good idea.

Post match OVE loads up the chair and the bat on Bahh but Eddie Edwards runs in for the save with a pipe.

Matt Sydal is ready to unveil his spirit guide.

The hosts talk about the big stories with Josh dressing a little beneath the professional standard.

Classic Moment: Feast or Fired 2008.

Austin Aries has a sitdown interview and talks about having a pretty cool month. He plugs his new book and being vegan but here’s Alberto who needs to talk to Aries right now. Alberto welcomes him to the promotion (or back to it) before shifting to never losing the World Title. He brings in some wine and what looks like a steak but Aries will stick with the banana.

Alberto is offended and Aries tells him to chew with his mouth closed. They have a chew off until Aries stands up and Alberto backs off. He even hands Alberto a free book because he’s making a champion’s money now. Aries: “You remember what that feels like?” Alberto leaves and Aries has some wine.

Kiera Hogan comes up to congratulate Allie on her win and giggling ensues. Braxton Sutter comes in and wants to talk to Allie but she isn’t interested.

Here are Kongo Kong and Jimmy Jacobs for a chat. Jimmy says he loves to hear himself talk because words have power. If you think he and Kong have done a lot to get Abyss back, you haven’t seen anything yet. Cue James Mitchell of all people, who says that he sees a lot of himself in Jacobs. They’re both evil geniuses and Kong is an impressive monster, though James has one of his own. He sold his soul to make Abyss World Champion but eventually the note came due.

Abyss was pushed so far that his personality split into Joseph Park. Mitchell doesn’t like what he’s been seeing done to the Park family (Wait, is Park a real person or a made up personality? How can he have family if the personality isn’t real?) but Jacobs doesn’t want to hear the lecture. Actually, James is here to thank him for bringing the monster back. Cue Abyss and the brawl is on with Kong being knocked to the floor. Next week: Monster’s Ball. Nice segment, but the idea of where Kong is going after the feud with Abyss scares me.

Video on Taya Valkyrie vs. Rosemary and their fight to be the queen of the Knockouts. Of course this is different than being Knockouts Champion but that goes without saying.

Rosemary vs. Taya Valkyrie

Rosemary wastes no time with a spear and right hands to send Taya outside. That’s fine with Rosemary who spears her off the apron and hits a high crossbody back inside. A charge hits post though and Taya kicks her hard in the ribs to take over. Rosemary snaps back up with a German suplex before biting Taya’s leg.

That earns her a double stomp though and Taya rams the painted face into the corner. Taya makes fun of the ROSEMARY chants and hits a hard faceplant. The Road to Valhalla is broken up but a curb stomp knocks Rosemary silly. A moonsault misses though and Rosemary hits a Cactus Clothesline to send them both outside. They keep slugging it out and that’s a double countout at 7:33.

Rating: C-. I like that ending a lot as there’s no need to have the feud end already or to have one of them get a clean fall. This is the kind of thing that could be done far more often as there’s no definitive winner and the feud should continue. They also have chemistry together and a big, violent gimmick match could be a lot of fun.

Post match Taya gives her another Road to Valhalla on the stage.

An anxious Eli Drake is on the phone and Chris Adonis (never shown) isn’t going to be here tonight. Drake fires him from whatever official role he had. I’m actually surprised that they’re acknowledging Adonis walking out on the company and it’s very nice for a change of pace. All it took was a thirty second segment and Adonis is wrapped up for good.

Ethan Carter III talks about it being his destiny to get the right briefcase and become World Heavyweight Champion again.

Aries vs. El Patron is confirmed for the Redemption pay per view on April 22.

Next week: Allie defends the Knockouts Title against Sienna and Monster’s Ball.

Earlier today, Brian Cage was in the empty Impact Zone when Bobby Lashley came in. Lashley didn’t need the help but if Cage wants a fight, all he has to do is ask. Cage walks away.

LAX is watching Feast or Fired to find out who is up next.

Here’s Matt Sydal to announce his spiritual guide: Josh Matthews. Dutt loses his mind as Josh comes to the ring to talk about how he’s enlightened. He’s spent months trying to enlighten the fans and now wants us to put our hands together and center ourselves. Josh presents him with something like a cat mask, which Sydal calls his spirit animal. Matt says if he’s a champion, so is Josh, and he hands him the Grand Championship. Dutt: “That’s it I quit.” I like the idea of Josh as a heel but….this is a bit out there no?

Feast or Fired

Eli Drake, Tyrus, Petey Williams, KM, Moose, Caleb Konley, Trevor Lee, Ethan Carter III, Rohit Raju, Taiji Ishimori

Dutt is now on commentary by himself. There’s a briefcase above each corner with three title shots (World, X-Division and Tag Team) plus a pink slip. Four people will get cases and the rest get nothing. It’s a brawl to start (as it will likely be all match) until we’re down to Drake and Moose alone in the ring. That’s a bit too much in the ring though as they fight outside, only to be replaced by Raju and Ishimori.

Petey comes back in with some dropkicks as this is firmly in the revolving door period. The Cult of Lee comes in and beats the X-Division guys down for a bit but are dropkicked outside as well. Naturally Ishimori dives onto the floor instead of going up, leaving Petey to hit a Canadian Destroyer on Lee. Petey gets Case #2 and we take a break. Back with Dutt telling us no one got a case during the break (thank you) and Moose cleaning house.

Carter cuts him off with an elbow but Moose makes a save and gets Case #4. Josh rejoins commentary as Ishimori takes his shirt off. The Cult of Lee gets beaten down by Raju but here’s the angry Tyrus to start tossing the suplexes. Carter cuts him off with a low blow though and Case #3 is collected. He even knocks Tyrus silly with a case shot for good measure. Ishimori is alone on top but decides to crossbody Drake instead. A few Gravy Trains and a run up the ropes for a release German superplex allow Drake to pull down Case #1 at 17:50.

Rating: D+. This is one of those matches where it’s really hard to give it a grade. The action was nothing to see and since most of the people involved aren’t hurt by their outcome, it makes for a weird match. It wasn’t one of the more interesting Feast of Fired matches, but then again these are hard to make interesting by definition.

Overall Rating: D+. It’s never a good sign when I can barely remember what happened on the show just after it ended. The wrestling wasn’t the point here but you can see a lot of where they’re going for Redemption. At least they started setting stuff up here as they don’t have a ton of pay per views in the first place. Use the time you have and set something up. Not a terrible show here at all, but the lack of people to fill out the card due to the main event hurt things.

Results

Sami Callihan b. Fallah Bahh – Death Valley Driver

Rosemary vs. Taya Valkyrie went to a double countout

Petey Williams, Moose, Ethan Carter III and Eli Drake won Feast or Fired

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 1, 2018
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Sonjay Dutt

It’s the week before the big Crossroads show and that means it’s time to build things up a bit. Next week’s main event will see Austin Aries defending the World Title against Johnny Impact in what could be an awesome match. Other than that though we’re likely in for more build towards Abyss vs. Kongo Kong, because that’s what we need to see. Let’s get to it.

Need a recap?  Here’s last week’s review.

The opening video looks at Ethan Carter III and Tyrus reuniting and then splitting up in very short order. That’s the smart move considering Carter is leaving.

Opening sequence.

Ethan Carter III vs. Tyrus

Carter runs his mouth (as is his custom) and is promptly shoved out to the floor. Back in and Carter gets shoved outside again as Josh talks about all the other companies they’ll be visiting soon. Carter stalls a lot, including messing with a fan’s phone, before going back in to have his arm cranked.

Chops and running clotheslines have no effect on Tyrus and it’s Carter being crushed in the corner. A charge misses though and Carter gets in a few shots to the back. Carter’s middle rope ax handle drops Tyrus and we hit the cravate. Tyrus shrugs it off and hits a corner splash before hitting his own 1%er. The Tongan Death Grip slam is enough to end Carter at 8:13.

Rating: D+. Assuming this is it for Carter, I’ll give this one a break with him leaving the company for blacker and yellower pastures. It’s certainly a better way to have him go out than having Dixie Carter grab his foot and beg him to stay. I’m not sure on Tyrus being the one to get the rub but it’s better than having Carter just leave.

Joseph Park is going to fight Kongo Kong tonight on his own, but neither he nor his family seems to give him much of a chance.

OVE and Sami Callihan say this is no longer fun and games. Violence takes place tonight.

Josh and Sonjay are in a studio to preview the rest of the show. Better than them saying they’re ringside every week.

El Hijo de Fantasma vs. Braxton Sutter

Hijo’s Latin American Championship isn’t on the line and there’s no entrance for Sutter. Hijo shoulders him down to start as Josh plugs the network, featuring a bunch of names that aren’t around anymore. Some clotheslines put Fantasma down for two but the chinlock doesn’t last very long. A backbreaker gives Fantasma two and a jumping superkick puts Sutter on the floor for the hard suicide dive. Back in and Sutter powerbombs him for two with his feet on the ropes. Not that it matters as Fantasma’s Thrill of the Hunt (Samoan Driver) is good for the pin at 5:14.

Rating: C-. This felt like angle advancement more than anything else as Fantasma is now a big deal around here because he’s a big deal in AAA. Sutter on the other hand….what happened? He and Allie should have been moved up several notches last year off the wedding angle but instead we’re here, seeing him losing in five minutes. I’m sure this was the best possible use for him though.

Post match Sutter yells about how Allie isn’t here because she ruins lives. He’s the biggest star in the company….and cue Brian Cage to wreck Sutter in short order.

Matt Sydal wants to share his spiritual adviser with the world.

Sydal is ready to win the X-Division Title next week but Taiji Ishimori comes in with his own scroll, asking if Sydal will make it title for title. No answer is given.

Kongo Kong vs. Joseph Park

Park goes after him but gets dropped with a single shot to the chest. Kong hammers away in the corner and Park’s headbutt knocks himself down. The top rope splash puts Park away at 2:14.

Post match Jimmy Jacobs gets in while Kong chokes Park. They still want Abyss and this is just getting started.

The Cult of Lee is having a party when the Mumbai Cats come in. After making fun of the masked men and not letting them have a drink, Konnan comes in to wonder why the Cult of Lee isn’t doing cartwheels in Wonder Woman bikinis. They say Konnan is here before and if you don’t know what’s coming, you haven’t been watching wrestling long. LAX throws Lee and Konley into the pool.

Alberto El Patron should be #1 contender. Well to be fair he hasn’t had a World Title match in like two weeks at this point.

Rosemary vs. Hania

Rosemary wastes no time in hammering away at the chest and gets two off a clothesline. A very early Red Wedding attempt is broken up but Rosemary is right back up with her figure four neck lock over the ropes. Hania gets dropped with a dropkick and a t-bone suplex for two. A spear into the Red Wedding is good for the pin on Hania at 3:13. Total squash.

Rating: D. Odds are that’s it for Hania and other than a look, I’m not sure what else she had to offer. This was complete destruction with Hania getting in absolutely nothing, which should tell you that she’s either done or not exactly thought of in the first place. Rosemary getting back towards the title is a good idea though and she should be going after the title in short order.

Post match Rosemary says Hania was just a puppy and now it’s time to bring the Knockouts Title back to the shadow. Rosemary dubs herself the Alpha B**** but here’s the returning Taya Valkyrie to disagree. Taya says the only truth in that is the B**** part but it should be Taya’s, not Alpha. They both go to the apron but Taya jumps her from behind. The Road to Valhalla on the ramp drops Rosemary.

This week’s classic clip: Eddie Edwards wins the World Title from Bobby Lashley.

We get a somewhat creepy video on Laurel Van Ness’ rocky road, including her near wedding to Braxton Sutter, going crazy, nearly marrying Grado, and now her commitment ceremony to the Knockouts Title.

KM, the minister for the ceremony, brings the title, with a bow tie, to the ring. Laurel comes out in a dress with the lipstick being all over the place as usual. She wants him to get to the good part, meaning the objections. Cue Braxton, now in a neck brace, to interrupt. He was dropped on his head earlier and Laurel flashed before his eyes. A year ago, he made a huge mistake when he left her at the altar. He proposes, but she screams NO over and over. KM: “EPIC FAIL BRO!” Laurel asks for more objections and even shouts a request for them. Cue Allie, in a black body suit which isn’t really necessary as she’s sneaking in, to jump Laurel and ruin the ceremony.

The announcers preview next week’s show.

Video on Austin Aries vs. Johnny Impact for the World Title next week.

Sami Callihan vs. Eddie Edwards

Eddie sends him outside for the suicide dive five seconds in but Sami rolls back in to hit one of his own eleven seconds in. Eddie hits another though and we get to thirty seconds on the replays. Some chops rock Sami and OVE is ejected for a distraction. Sami gets in an apron kick to the face though and we take a break. Back with Eddie fighting out of a chinlock and chopping away, but getting caught in a piledriver on the apron. Since this is a regular TV match though, Sami doesn’t even bother to cover.

Eddie fights out of something like a standing Crossface and kicks Sami in the face to catch him on top. A superplex brings Sami back down for no cover as Eddie can’t follow up. The Backpack Stunner gets two but Sami is right back with the running knee in the corner. A slingshot suplex neckbreaker gives Sami two and an exchange of kicks to the head puts both guys down. Sami loads up a powerbomb but Eddie backdrops into a cradle for the pin at 15:04.

Rating: C+. I liked this better than most Sami matches as it actually felt like a match. I’m still not sure why Sami and OVE are going after Lashley and Eddie but I’m guessing it’s something to do with the team being insane. Eddie winning makes sense as it’s not like a member of the team losing a singles match to a former World Champion is a huge blow.

Callihan gives him a double underhook shoulder breaker and we cut to the back where OVE beats up Lashley. Back in the arena, Sami puts a chair on Eddie’s chest and hits it with a baseball bat…but the bat keeps going and HITS EDDIE IN THE FACE (with a sickening sound) to end the show. That shot to the face wasn’t planned, mainly because it’s about as dangerous of a thing as you could have done.

Overall Rating: C. You can see where they’re going with a lot of stuff and they set up next week’s show well enough. The World Title match didn’t need a ton of hype as that’s big enough on its own standing. The wrestling wasn’t anything great here but at least we’re getting towards the big show. If that works, then this doesn’t matter nearly as much. Pretty standard buildup show here and I can settle for that.

Results

Tyrus b. Ethan Carter III – Tongan Death Grip slam

El Hijo de Fantasma b. Braxton Sutter – The Thrill of the Hunt

Kongo Kong b. Joseph Park – Top rope splash

Rosemary b. Hania – Red Wedding

Eddie Edwards b. Sami Callihan – Rollup

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: December 14, 2017
Location: Aberdeen Pavilion, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews

Impact actually has some wrestling competition tonight as WWE is presenting its annual Tribute to the Troops. This week’s big match is for the vacant Knockouts Title as Rosemary vs. Laurel Van Ness wraps up the mini tournament. Other than that we’re likely to get more build between Alberto El Patron, Johnny Impact and Eli Drake for the World Title. Let’s get to it.

Laurel and Rosemary arrive.

Recap of Gail Kim vacating the title and the tournament being set up. Again: it was two triple threat matches and a singles match. It’s not exactly some game changer.

Opening sequence.

Sienna vs. KC Spinelli vs. Madison Rayne vs. Allie

#1 contenders match and one fall to a finish. Allie gets triple teamed in the corner to start but Spinelli and Rayne quickly turn on Sienna. A northern lights suplex gives Spinelli two and Madison does the same move for the same result. Spinelli is back with a spinout Rock Bottom but Allie is back in to take both of them down at once. A hair takedown drops Allie though and it’s Sienna coming back in with a big boot to KC.

Sienna tosses Spinelli with a fall away slam for two as Allie makes the save. Back from a break with Sienna faceplanting Madison and throwing Allie down as well. Spinelli and Sienna hit a double clothesline and everyone is down. It’s Allie up first and cleaning house, including a Codebreaker for two on Sienna. Spinelli is loaded up into the AK47 but Allie rolls Sienna up for the pin at 12:39.

Rating: C-. Not much to this one but they got the finish right, especially if we’re heading for Laurel winning the title. Allie is still the most popular name in the division (or second most at worst) and giving her a push towards the title would make sense. That being said, it feels like it’s just being kept warm while we wait on Taya’s visa issues to be resolved, which makes some sense.

Trevor Lee/Caleb Konley vs. Dezmond Xavier/Taiji Ishimori

Lee and Ishimori start things off as we hear about expansion into Italy. Maybe we can see some Italian wrestlers that mean nothing around here for a change. Xavier comes in and uppercuts Lee a few times before dropkicking him in the back of the head. Lee sends Dezmond outside and scores with a running kick to the face as we take a break. Back with Xavier still in trouble as Konley sends him hard into the corner. Lee comes back in for a chinlock and a hard clothesline.

Somehow, during an X-Division match, the commentary manages to bring the discussion back to Gail Kim. We saw her during the opening and we discussed her during the Knockouts match and now we’re hearing about her too. Well of course we are. The hot tag brings in Ishimori to thankfully speed things up a bit, only to have Lee grab a German suplex for two. Everything breaks down and Dezmond gets caught in the Tree of Woe. For some reason they try a spike piledriver in the same corner though, allowing Xavier to make the save. Ishimori rolls Lee up for the pin at 12:49.

Rating: C. This division is so dull and so much of that is due to the villains. You can only do the “I’m the champion and you want the title” story for so long and they passed that point a LONG time ago. Completely average match here as we keep waiting for Ishimori to hopefully save us from the drek that is Lee’s X-Division Title reign.

We recap Dan Lambert pinning James Storm last week.

Alberto El Patron, Petey Williams and Johnny Impact aren’t happy with having to team together tonight. El Patron and Johnny talk a bunch of trash while Petey just stands around like someone who doesn’t belong here. Well you can’t fault him for his way of thinking.

We see the last five minutes of the Knockouts Gauntlet Match to crown the first ever Knockouts Champion at Bound For Glory 2007. The winner of course: Gail Kim.

Chris Adonis and Eli Drake seem to have found their partner for the six man tag in the form of Jimmy Jacobs.

Alberto El Patron/Johnny Impact/Petey Williams vs. Eli Drake/Chris Adonis/Kongo Kong

Or not actually as Jacobs comes out to say he’s a good guy. He’s here to help, which is why he’s found Adonis and Drake a partner. Quick question: has Impact ever explained who Jacobs is or why he’s here? Or are we just supposed to have a working knowledge of who has left WWE over the last few months?

Alberto hammers on Adonis to start but gets shoved into a tag to Impact. That goes nowhere so Petey chases Adonis into the corner….and earns a shot against Kong. A rolling backsplash crushes Williams and it’s back to Adonis to stomp in the corner. The slow beatdown continues and we’re just lucky enough to see more Kong. Drake comes in after a splash and drops an elbow for good measure.

Adonis almost hits Kong by mistake and the apology allows the hot tag off to Johnny. There’s a Flying Chuck for two on Drake but Alberto comes in to break up some attempted cheating. That’s enough being nice though as Alberto hits a Backstabber on Johnny. Petey gets caught in a double flapjack but Kong misses his top rope splash.

Johnny dives onto Drake but Petey’s slingshot hurricanrana is countered with a powerbomb into the crowd. Kong and Petey head to the back, leaving Johnny to deck Alberto. There’s Starship Pain but Alberto DDTs Johnny on the ramp. A frog splash to Drake is good for the pin at 8:32.

Rating: B-. Alberto logic made sense and it’s fine to have the champ get pinned in a tag match, but you really could have done almost the same match without Kong and Williams. This got a lot better at the end and once we got to the storyline stuff, but even the worst part of it wasn’t that bad. Just don’t let Alberto talk.

The Legion of Doom was in TNA for a cup of coffee back in the early days.

Alberto gets a title shot on the January 4 show.

The Park Family is proud of how well business is going but Chandler wants to be a wrestler. Joseph isn’t sure.

Video on the Grand Championship match, which will now be a three way involving champion Ethan Carter III, Fallah Bahh and Matt Sydal. That also takes place on January 4.

Also on January 4, Taiji Ishimori vs. Trevor Lee for the X-Division Title.

The next two weeks will be Best of 2017 specials.

Here are Moose and Storm to talk about American Top Team. After explaining to Storm that he doesn’t mean AT&T, Moose talks about having Lashley beaten multiple times but having the MMA guys jump in time after time. Maybe Lashley just can’t beat him. Cue Lambert and Lashley with the latter saying he can beat either of them at any time. Storm gets in Lambert’s face, saying he respects Dan but they have a problem.

All Storm wants is to face Lambert one on one. Dan goes into his usual wrestling sucks speech and eventually calls Storm the face of the company. Here’s the deal: if they fight each other, Storm’s career is on the line. Storm agrees, but if he wins, the MMA guys are all gone. Lashley and Moose start fighting and here’s KM, who is quickly cut off by a Last Call.

Storm vs. Lambert is set for the January 4 show.

Knockouts Title: Rosemary vs. Laurel Van Ness

The title is vacant coming in. Van Ness is sent outside and we take a break less than a minute in. Back (after a good while) with Rosemary hammering away in the corner and Cactus Clotheslining her outside. Laurel is up first and kicks Rosemary face first onto the ramp. That’s only good for two back inside and it’s time to shove each other a lot. Rosemary is up first and grabs her leaning back choke over the ropes.

They fall outside again with an exploder suplex dropping Laurel on the floor. Back in and Rosemary spears her down but has to escape an Unprettier. The Red Wedding doesn’t work either and Rosemary misses the mist. The delay allows Laurel to hit the Unprettier off the top for the pin and the title at 14:04.

Rating: C+. I’m a bit surprised by the ending but at least we have Laurel vs. Allie to look forward to. The match wasn’t bad but treating this like some kind of huge tournament win and a passing of the torch from Kim (who was mentioned almost as much as either finalist leading up to the match) is quite the stretch.

We go to a meeting between Konnan and Sami Callihan. They argue over who is in charge of this company and a match is made with titles vs. careers. Konnan agrees and says after LAX is done with OVE, they’ll be like O’Reilly and Spacey. Callihan throws a fireball at Konnan’s face to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Pretty solid show here as they’re setting up something big for the January 4 show. That being said, I might have liked the show more because it means I get two weeks off from watching the show for the most part. If nothing else this show needs a breather and hopefully they have something a little more interesting when they get to the next taping cycle. This show worked better because it was mainly wrestling and didn’t feature much of Impact’s very sub par writing. Do that more often and the show gets better, though I don’t trust them to pull it off.

Results

Allie b. KC Spinelli, Madison Rayne and Sienna – Rollup to Sienna

Taiji Ishimori/Dezmond Xavier b. Caleb Konley/Trevor Lee – Rollup to Lee

Alberto El Patron/Johnny Impact/Petey Williams b. Eli Drake/Chris Adonis/Kongo Kong – Frog splash to Drake

Laurel Van Ness b. Rosemary – Super Unprettier

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: October 19, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews

Hopefully with more wrestling this week. We’re less than a month away from Bound For Glory 2017 and that means it’s time to really crank things up. The big story is Johnny Impact becoming #1 contender to Eli Drake’s World Title. Well at least that’s the big story on the wrestling side. On the MMA side, Moose has been joined by Stephan Bonnar to go after American Top Team. Let’s get to it.

Moose and Stephan Bonnar arrive with everything they stole from the American Top Team facilities.

American Top Team is here as well. It’s going to be another one of those shows.

Recap of Chris Adonis attacking Johnny Impact last week.

Chris Adonis vs. Johnny Impact

Adonis slugs away at Johnny to start but gets kicked in the ribs. We hit the bearhug on Impact for a bit before a spinebuster gets two. The Adonis Lock goes on but Johnny is able to dive over the top for the break in a unique idea. Back in and Impact slugs away in the corner, including a kick to the head. The flip neckbreaker gives Impact two, followed by a springboard corkscrew kick to the head for another near fall and we take a break. Back with Impact breaking up a superplex attempt and hitting the countdown 450 (Countdown to Impact) for the pin at 10:15.

Rating: C. Impact looked fine here, albeit about as bored as you’re going to be against Adonis. At least this match made sense for Impact as he was fighting Eli Drake’s lackey instead of fighting Garza Jr. for no logical reason. The match was more about advancing the story than anything else and that’s what this story needs.

Post match Eli Drake runs in but gets his pants ripped off. The double teaming takes Impact down but Garza Jr. runs in for the save because HE is the one who rips the pants off around here.

Alberto El Patron is back at Bound For Glory. Again I say: PLEASE NO!

Hijo de Fantasma vs. James Storm vs. Texano vs. Eddie Edwards vs. Ethan Carter III

This is from Cancun, Mexico, the winner goes on to a match we won’t be seeing and it’s one fall to a finish. It’s a brawl to start with Storm being sent outside as JB talks about how Team Impact needs to work as a unit. Again, one fall and singles matches of course so let’s talk about teamwork. Carter clotheslines Texano down and it’s time for some triple teaming until Carter doesn’t want Storm to get the pin. Fantasma crossbodies Eddie for two but it’s Storm up again to take over.

That’s still not cool with Carter, who says he should be getting the fall. We hit a parade of big moves until Carter and Texano hit a double clothesline to put everyone down. Back up and Texano posts Edwards, leaving Fantasma to piledrive Carter. Storm and Texano tease going after Fantasma’s father at ringside but the distraction just lets Texano pin Carter at 8:22.

Rating: C-. I’m running out of ways to say I don’t care about this story. They’ve run the same people fighting in Orlando over the promotion invasion and now they’re fighting in Mexico for a spot in a match we won’t be seeing. These matches are watchable but I need more of a story to make me care whatsoever.

OVE is in Tijuana, Mexico to find Konnan, who agrees to meet with them in exchange for a title defense in the Crash promotion.

Carter, Storm and Edwards bicker about the loss in Cancun.

American Top Team yells at Jim Cornette over the stolen property. You have breaking and entering, destruction of property and theft on tape/national TV and you go to the wrestling boss?

Dezmond Xavier vs. Andrew Everett

Everett takes him down by the neck for two to start and a snap suplex gives him the same. Xavier is sent outside as we hear that Taryn Terrell won’t be in the Knockouts Title match at Bound For Glory. Sounds like an injury or someone else leaving the company. That’s enough talking about the Knockouts so the announcers discuss Alberto El Patron returning.

Xavier makes his comeback with some kicks and a backdrop to the floor, followed by the running flip dive to take out Everett and Trevor Lee. Speaking of Lee, he offers another distraction but Xavier misses a charge into the corner. The moonsault kick to the head gives Xavier the pin at 4:37.

Rating: D+. Yeah this happened. It was your usual flip match with the announcers ignoring the action because the X-Division doesn’t mean a single thing in this promotion. As usual, it’s the vaguest of issues (Lee thinks he and his boys are the best, the rest of the division disagrees) and odds are they’ll be thrown into Ultimate X for the title match. That’s lazy writing and I’m not a bit surprised.

Preview of Lee going to Tijuana next week to defend the title. GOOD GRIEF ENOUGH WRESTLING FROM MEXICO ALREADY! These are just matches for the sake of having matches and this is now the third story on the show set in Mexico. I get that a partnership is cool but this is taking over the show.

Oh hey let’s go to Mexico again where OVE is looking for Konnan. They’ll have to defend the titles tonight.

Bonnar and Moose have the Bellator gear in the back. Yes they really brought it here with them and we’re supposed to believe this is real.

Long recap of the issues between Grado and Joseph Park with Park exploiting Grado and taking his money.

Here’s Grado to call out Park. Grado is ready to prosecute Park for stealing from him (or maybe just taking whatever Grado agreed to give him in the contract) and he’s going to be Park’s executioner. We hear a rant about how Grado has been worked ragged for Park’s benefit and Grado doesn’t want to hear any jokes. Park admits that the money was too tempting for him and he gave in. However, the visa keeps Grado in the country so he pretty much has nothing to say right now.

Grado wants the visa handed to him but Park has a better idea: a match at Bound For Glory for Grado’s freedom. Grado immediately signs and Park is rather happy. See, Grado still hasn’t learned about reading the fine print. It turns out that the match is going to be Monster’s Ball and against the monster Abyss.

Recap of Moose/Bonnar vs. American Top Team. My goodness this show loves its recaps.

A panicked Grado gets in his car when someone changes the radio to Abyss’ theme. It’s Father James Mitchell of all people, who scares Grado away.

Tag Team Titles: OVE vs. Black Diamond/Black Danger

OVE is defending and this is in Tijuana for the Crash promotion. Jake, in most of a suit, crossbodies Diamond to start and it’s OVE firing off some kicks to the ribs. We finally settle down to Danger being sent into Diamond, only to have Danger catapult Jake into a spear out of the air. Cool spot if nothing else. A superplex into a powerbomb gets two on Danger and it’s a spike tombstone (with a top rope double stomp) to put Diamond away at 3:44.

Rating: C. Points for having OVE get a win but, again, the focus was this being in Tijuana than anything else. I get that the company thinks going to these other promotions is the coolest thing in the world but all it does is make me think that the Impact Zone is a joke and that the company doesn’t think much of their own talent because they need to go elsewhere to make the show work.

JB is in the ring for what sounds like the Hall of Fame announcement when American Top Team interrupts. Dan Lambert says this isn’t how it was supposed to be. This was supposed to be a thing with Jeff Jarrett but now he’s the villain in the story, despite being a huge wrestling fan for forty years. He got into MMA through Japanese shoot professional wrestling promotions and has the biggest collection of wrestling memorabilia in the world.

Lambert pulls out Bruno Sammartino’s first WWWF World Title belt, the National Tag Team Titles from Georgia, the Mid-Atlantic Tag Team Titles, and Jerry Lawler’s AWA World Title (which I believe Lawler said he still had on the AWA documentary). Lambert talks about Moose and Bonnar taking their stuff and showing no respect.

Therefore, at Bound For Glory, we should have a fight with the two of them facing King Mo and Lashley. That’s a fight that wrestling can’t win because they’re not real fighters. Cue Moose and Bonnar with the Bellator titles but they’re quickly beaten down. Lambert runs his mouth about how horrible wrestling is and American Top Team beats down security and the invading roster.

This was a better segment than any other from the MMA guys but EGADS the level of focus this story is receiving is getting very old. It’s a bunch of guys who aren’t going to wrestle plus Lashley and King Mo, who wrestled like three times and wasn’t interesting. Lambert is a decent heel manager but I get really, really tired of hearing about how awesome mixed martial arts is every single week. As usual, this company has no idea what draws fans in and just goes with an idea that they like for months on end, probably leading to a tag match which should be a regular match, but that would imply that the wrestlers are the interesting ones.

OVE gets to meet Konnan and want their pay for the night. Uh, Konnan never said he’d pay them. He said he’d talk to them in exchange for them wrestling. Konnan basically says as much and here are the Crash guys to beat OVE down. Who decided to have two beatdown segments in a row?

Global Forged videos, as we continue to have ANYTHING but Impact on this show.

Recap of Taya Valkyrie vs. Rosemary.

Taya Valkyrie vs. Rosemary

Rosemary wastes no time in charging at Taya in the corner and throwing her across the ring. Taya chokes her in the corner a bit and we take a break. Back with Rosemary stomping in the corner as the announcers make a not so subtle reference to Sexy Star injuring Rosemary in Mexico. Rosemary’s modified Tarantula slows Taya down but Valkyrie throws her into the corner to take over again.

A quickly broken chinlock keeps Rosemary in trouble but she grabs a release German suplex. They loudly slug it out with Rosemary screaming a lot, only to be taken down by some hard kicks to the chest. Rosemary is dropped with her legs bent underneath her, only to come back up with an Undertaker style situp. Not that it matters as Taya hits a double stomp for the pin at 10:55.

Rating: C-. Well that was surprising. I would have bet on this being saved for Bound For Glory but we got it here instead. Having Rosemary lose here shows how strong they’re making Valkyrie, who will probably be Knockouts Champion when we’ve praised Gail Kim enough. I mean, that’s been the case for years now but why change what’s working so little over the years?

Post match Taya loads up the Road to Valhalla but gets misted for her efforts. Rosemary says they make each other see red so it can be a different shade of red at Bound For Glory: blood red. That sounds like a first blood challenge, though I’m more curious about why Taya’s face looks completely normal after taking red mist to the face.

Overall Rating: D+. What is Impact Wrestling? I know it’s supposed to be this promotion that has a bunch of international talent coming in but it feels like a place that has been taken over by that international talent and showcases it’s own talent when they’re given the chance. On this show, we saw the Team Impact guys, the X-Division Champions and the Tag Team Champions in Mexico, along with a woman who calls herself lucha royalty in the main event, the AAA World Champion challenging for the World Title and the main story on the show being built around something that started in Mexico.

As I’ve been saying for weeks now, this show is about everything other than Impact Wrestling. I’m having real issues caring about most of this stuff because I have no real reason to care about them. The MMA stuff continues to bore the heck out of me (pick a reason why, starting with the fact that it’s almost ALL about the MMA people with Moose feeling wedged in there to make it a wrestling angle) and the World Title feud feels like a midcard match. This show is really frustrating as they seem to be charging in the wrong direction as we had into the biggest show of the year.

Results

Johnny Impact b. Chris Adonis – Countdown to Impact

Texano b. Hijo de Fantasma, James Storm, Eddie Edwards and Ethan Carter III – Piledriver to Carter

Dezmond Xavier b. Andrew Everett – Moonsault kick to the head

OVE b. Black Danger/Black Diamond – Spike tombstone to Diamond

Taya Valkyrie b. Rosemary – Double stomp

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: October 12, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Jeremy Borash

We’re less than a month away from Bound For Glory and some of the card is starting to come together. You can pretty much guess a lot of the things they’re going to do, though one question is will Moose manage to do something dumber than walk into an MMA gym alone and pick a fight. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Eli Drake and Chris Adonis attacking Johnny Impact, only to have Garza Jr. interrupt. This sets up Impact vs. Garza for the Bound For Glory title shot.

Garza says he’ll win. No dude, you won’t.

Opening sequence.

We look at Eddie Edwards winning the GHC Title and Garza trying to win the title. As usual, GFW is really, really overestimating how interesting these other companies are.

Eli Drake is defending the title in Japan this week.

Here’s LAX with something to say. They want their title match right now and don’t care what rules they have to abide by. This brings out OVE to say bring it, even if it’s a 5150 street fight. The champs don’t care but Diamante says it’s all of LAX vs. OVE at the same time. The match, and the brawl, is on with the champs getting beaten down, including Dave being sent through a table at ringside.

We look at a press conference announcing GFW wrestlers going over to Tokyo to invade Pro Wrestling Noah. Is it really an invasion if you announce a working relationship and hold a press conference announcing the matches? More on this later, because we’re just that lucky.

Video on American Top Team, including them attacking various GFW employees and Moose going to their gym and getting beaten down. This is a compilation of clips and packages we’ve seen before.

Another video on Garza Jr. By the way it’s 8:31 and we haven’t had a match yet. I’m not sure if that’s a complaint or not.

Rosemary vs. Hannah Harper

Red Wedding ends Harper in 59 seconds. Nearly half of that was them staring at each other.

Post match Rosemary calls out Taya Valkyrie for a dance with the demon. Taya comes out and mists Rosemary for a change of pace, followed by the Road to Valhalla.

We look at Moose getting beaten down at the American Top Team facility.

Moose is going back to the facility, but this time he has backup.

Here’s Taryn Terrell to tell us all to shut up. She’s got a Knockouts Title shot at Bound For Glory but now she wants to focus on Gail Kim. Taryn talks about Gail’s husband Robert Irvine and says after she’s done, they’ll be heading appearing on Divorce Court. Gail comes out and says she won’t be attacking Taryn, only to slap her anyway.

Alberto El Patron is back at Bound For Glory. DANG IT MAN JUST GO AWAY ALREADY!!!

Sienna is ready for a mixed tag tonight and can’t wait to beat up Allie. One of her partners, Texano, says AAA is awesome. The other partner, Caleb Konley, says North Carolina is awesome.

Grado is very tired and says no more. Joseph Park comes up in an expensive car with a bunch of good looking women. They’re just interns, though one of them calls Grado the meal ticket. Grado isn’t happy as Park leaves with the ladies.

Wrestlers talk about the importance of Bound For Glory. This is probably the fifth promo for the show in the first hour to go with the 53 seconds of in-ring action.

We’re an hour into this show and it’s been little more than a recap show so far. 53 seconds of wrestling and an announcement of a tag match for the pay per view. Wrestling Challenge was run better than this.

Sienna/Caleb Konley/Texano vs. Allie/Dezmond Xavier/James Storm

We finally break a whole minute of wrestling an hour and nine minutes into the show. Sienna stomps Allie in the corner to start but gets taken down with a clothesline. It’s off to Texano vs. Storm but Konley comes in instead. Some villainous cheating has Storm in trouble but Storm is quickly out of a chinlock. A leg lariat gives Texano two and Sienna stomps away as well.

Texano gets dropped again and the diving tag brings in Xavier. Kicks abound and a standing corkscrew moonsault gets two with Sienna making the save. Everything breaks down and it’s a Codebreaker from Allie into a Backstabber from Storm. Konley comes back in with a swinging slap, only to have Xavier hit a 619 around the post. Lee breaks up something off the top but it’s the Last Call to end Konley at 6:38.

Rating: D+. Normally I’m a fan of throwing a bunch of feuds into one match but what happens when the feuds aren’t interesting in the slightest? This was more evidence that Bound For Glory isn’t an interesting show as the TV building it up isn’t compelling in the slightest. There’s no reason for AAA and GFW to be feuding and Xavier feels like he hasn’t been around in weeks. I’m sure he’ll be in the X Title match at the pay per view because that’s what they do with that title most of the time. More uninspired booking here, which is becoming a trend.

Here’s a slightly different package on the wrestlers in Japan. Some of the quotes and clips are the same.

Yet ANOTHER video on Garza Jr., this time of him in Japan.

This week’s Global Forged as this show is allergic to wrestling. This one focuses on Jon Bolen, the head trainer.

LAX is ready for the street fight.

Moose went to the American Top Team facility again (we’ve seen the clip of him on the phone at least five times now), though this time he has backup. Fellow MMA fighter Stephan Bonnar (not named until after the segment is over) is there this time though and they have pipes. They walk in and that’s all for now.

Garza Jr. vs. Johnny Impact

The winner faces Eli Drake at Bound For Glory. Feeling out process to start until Impact takes him down with a headlock. Garza sends him outside for a suicide dive as the announcers promise more American Top Team stuff later tonight. Johnny is back up with a flipping elbow off the steps and we take a break. Back with Garza forearming Impact in the corner but LET’S TAKE OFF THOSE PANTS!

Some kicks to the face have Johnny in trouble and they slug it out, followed by a crossbody to put both guys down. Back up and Johnny kicks him down for two more but he has to bail out of Starship Pain. A second attempt completely misses and Garza gets two off a standing moonsault. Garza’s missile dropkick gets another near fall but a pinfall reversal sequence goes to Impact for the pin at 13:50.

Rating: C+. I don’t know how else to say it but no one cares about Garza. He’s just a guy who was in the lucha tag team and then he’s randomly in the #1 contenders match. A bunch of packages on him for one night isn’t enough to make me care about him in this spot, especially when they weren’t hiding the fact that Impact was winning.

Post match Cornette comes in to interview Impact but Adonis comes in and breaks a board over his head.

And now, back to the real story with American Top Team and UFC LEGEND (yes UFC LEGEND I say, along with JB who says it multiple times) Stephan Bonnar. Everyone is gone (it’s the middle of the night) so they just break stuff with the pipes instead and Moose steals some MMA belts. They also wreck the merchandise area. This is the way they’re hyping up the biggest show of the year people. It’s the best idea they have. Moose leaves a note with the receptionist (who didn’t say a word while in the same room where all this was happening) to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. This is only above a failure because the main event wasn’t bad. I just sat through two hours of Bound For Glory ads, the same clip of Moose on the phone saying he needed help, videos that didn’t make me interested in Garza Jr. and GFW in Japan. If you take out the commercial from the main event, there was less than twenty minutes of action on the show and less than two minutes out of the first seventy were spent on wrestling.

I know they’re strapped with all the taping marathons and such but with this many wrestlers running around, there’s really no excuse to have almost no one to put on the shows. Come up with something better than a squash, a six person tag and a really obvious main event. With as many people as they have, including all the talent they bring in, there’s not much of an excuse for this. This show wasn’t so much bad as it was unacceptable, which is much worse.

Results

Rosemary b. Hannah Harper – Red Wedding

James Storm/Dezmond Xavier/Allie b. Sienna/Caleb Konley/Texano – Last Call to Konley

Johnny Impact b. Garza Jr. – Rollup

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Impact Wrestling
Date: July 27, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero, Jeremy Borash

The battle between LAX and Alberto El Patron continues as the group wants El Patron to join him but he’d rather not, leading to a series of fights. As usual though, the problem is finding a member of the team to fight him as there’s no one anywhere near Alberto’s level on the team. Therefore, they’ll likely need to add someone new to their ranks. Let’s get to it.

Joseph Park and Grado arrived earlier and it’s time to propose to Laurel Van Ness so Grado can stay in the country. Park has special gear for him to wear when he pops the question.

Long recap of LAX vs. Alberto and his family, including various kidnappings of Alberto’s brother and father.

Opening sequence.

The Mayor of Orlando is guest ring announcer for the night.

Eli Drake/Chris Adonis/Ethan Carter III vs. Eddie Edwards/Naomichi Marufuchi/Moose

Eddie and Eli start things off with Drake trying to silence the crowd. Edwards grabs him by the arm and hands it off to Marufuchi for some more of the same. Drake comes in and gets chopped for his efforts, followed by Adonis coming in to complete the trio. Marufuchi works on Adonis as well, including a double chop with help from Edwards (WE GET IT ALREADY).

The heels are sent outside but Adonis breaks up the Shot of Caffeine and we take a break. Back with Edwards still in trouble and Adonis coming in to kick him in the ribs. The beating continues so the announcers talk about Alberto facing LAX in a gauntlet match tonight. Adonis grabs a chinlock for a good while and Carter comes in to give up the hot tag to Moose.

Some running splashes in the corner have Carter in trouble until Drake and Adonis cut him off with some clubberin in the opposite corner. Marufuchi comes in and fires off kicks to the head, leaving Drake to eat a Pop Up Powerbomb from Moose. Carter sneaks in from behind though and kicks Moose low, setting up a lifting sitout Pedigree for the pin at 16:07.

Rating: C-. Just a boring six man here though at least the ending sets up Moose vs. Carter a bit more. Marufuchi is still just kind of there with little more explanation other than “he’s from Japan and he’s awesome”. Well yeah, but I’m not getting much proof of that when all he’s doing is coming in for about thirty seconds, chopping and kicking, and then getting back out. Moose vs. Carter should be fine especially if it gets Carter the title but there wasn’t much to see here.

A rather large guy named Richard Justice is warming up in case he’s needed. He’s the standby wrestler you see, which McKenzie Miller calls the stupidest thing she’s ever heard.

A brother tag team is coming. That would be the Crist Brothers.

Here’s Lashley to call out Bruce Prichard. In short, he wants a title shot and is tired of being told he has to earn them when people like Alberto come in here and get one on day one. He’d like Bruce to come out here and announce that he’s getting his title shot at Destination X. Cue Bruce with Tyrus to say….not much as Matt Sydal walks past him and gets inside. He pushes Lashley and says he won’t be ignored but Lashley shoves him down. That earns Lashley a knee to the face and a quick shooting star press.

See, this is what they’ve needed to do with the X Division for a long time. There’s no need to throw them into a nothing division off to the side and then use them as cannon fodder. Having them mix with the heavyweights and showing that they can hang makes the division look a lot better, which is whats been missing from this place for years. If they go somewhere with that, well done. Otherwise, it’s a nice thought but nothing more.

Davey Richards and Taiji Ishimori are ready for their Super X Cup match.

Super X Cup First Round: Davey Richards vs. Taiji Ishimori

They fight over a lockup to start with Davey patting him on the chest before trading wristlocks. Ishimori dropkicks him to the floor and teases a 619. Back in and Davey fires off the kicks, followed by a figure four neck lock to send Ishimori over to the ropes. The Indian deathlock goes on but Ishimori makes the rope again. Ishimori hits the running knees in the corner, followed by a Vader Bomb double stomp for two.

They hit the mat for a battle of rollups until Davey rolls him into an ankle lock. That goes nowhere either but Davey catches him in the hold again. Davey plants him down and goes up top, cancels the howl, but misses the double stomp. Ishimori grabs a tombstone but throws Davey up for a pair of knees to the chest instead. A 450 puts Davey away at 8:26.

Rating: C+. Much like Marufuchi, all I know about about Ishimori is whatever we’re told about him during his entrances. Now this match helped a lot more than Marufuchi as we got to see Ishimori work a match that didn’t have the stupid round system or five other people. It helped, though I still need to see a lot more of them and have a reason to care about them for this to really be worth much.

Here are the semifinals:

Dezmond Xavier

Drago

ACH

Ishimori

Prichard makes Lashley vs. Sydal for Destination X with the winner getting whatever title match they want.

Knockouts Title: Rosemary vs. Sienna

Rosemary is challenging and this is Last Knockout Standing. Sienna, with KM in her corner, gets jumped to start and Rosemary unloads on her to take over. A table is brought in quickly but Sienna drops Rosemary and takes a stroll on the floor. Another table is set up on the outside, followed by the champ throwing in a pair of chairs. We get the required duel with both of them being knocked out of the respective hands.

They fight into the crowd with Sienna’s face being raked over the barricade. Rosemary grabs a headscissors and bends backwards over the barricade into kind of a reverse Tarantula. Sienna taps to no effect and we take a break. Back with Rosemary still in control but having to block what looked to be a powerbomb off the apron. The block doesn’t last though and it’s an AK47 off the apron and down to the floor (basically a release powerbomb in this case) for an eight count.

Back in and the Silencer is blocked by the swing of a chair to put Sienna down for nine. A Red Wedding onto the chair knocks Sienna down but Rosemary can’t follow up. Sienna is up at nine but down at ten so Rosemary puts her in front of the chair in the corner. Rosemary puts a trashcan in front of her for a Van Terminator, only to have KM offer a distraction. That means mist to the face but Sienna shoves her off the top and through the table on the floor to retain at 15:39.

Rating: B-. Good brawl, though nothing we haven’t seen before. Rosemary is rather skilled and Sienna is rather…..well she’s rather boring actually but she’s competent in the ring. KM on the other hand is one of the least interesting guys I’ve seen in a long time and having him around doesn’t add anything to any match he’s involved with. It’s a good match but, save for the reverse Tarantula, this wasn’t anything of note.

We look at the end of the six man.

Carter dubs the sitout Pedigree as the ECD: Ethan Carter’s Driver. Moose vs. Carter for the title next week.

Alberto says LAX is lead by a crazy man.

Here’s Trevor Lee to say he’s a fighting champion, meaning he’s got another handpicked challenger. He’s the king of Mexico….and it’s Octagoncito.

Trevor Lee vs. Octagoncito

Lee wrestles with the stolen title on and runs Octagoncito over to start. He misses a charge into the corner though and gets headscissored down, followed by a very long spinning version to put Trevor on the floor. That’s enough for Lee as he takes the countout at 1:40.

Sonjay Dutt runs in after the match but gets stopped by security. Cue Bruce for another unnecessary cameo to send him to the back.

LAX is ready to destroy Alberto once and for all.

Here are Park and Grado, the latter of whom is in a rather form fitting orange suit, to propose to Laurel. Sienna has to force Laurel down the aisle before leaving. Grado calls Laurel knockout gorgeous and proposes but here are a very excited Allie and a less excited Braxton Sutter to pull her to the back. Before there’s an answer though, Kongo Kong interrupts with a shaking head. Grado bails and Kong picks Laurel up but she tells him to put her down. She never actually said no.

LAX vs. Alberto El Patron

Gauntlet match and non-title. Alberto comes through the crowd and it’s going to be Homicide starting for the team. A top rope splash ends Homicide in nineteen seconds and it’s Ortiz coming in second. We’re off to an early break and it’s back to Ortiz in trouble as well but LAX crotches Alberto on top. Not that it matters as Alberto shoves him Ortiz down and hits the double stomp for the pin at 6:30 total.

Santana is in last and hits a running boot in the corner for two. Alberto gets tripped from the floor but avoids a top rope double stomp. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker drops Santana again but Alberto has to go after the other members. Diamante’s high crossbody is caught and Alberto throws her out onto Homicide. Alberto grabs the cross armbreaker but Ortiz comes in for the DQ at 8:53 total.

Rating: D. So to recap, Alberto just cleaned out all of the wrestling members of LAX in less than nine minutes while also dealing with Diamante and Konnan. And these guys are the top heels in the promotion at the moment and we’re supposed to buy one of them, in theory at least, as a threat to the title? Really? Horrible idea here and a bad way to close the show.

Post match the beatdown is on with Alberto’s brother taking a beating as well. The Veterans of War run in and help Alberto clean house to end the show. In other words, Alberto, who just fended off five people at once on his own, now has his father, his brother, and two big power guys backing him up?

Overall Rating: D+. That main event storyline is just killing everything else on the rest of the show. Everyone in LAX is coming off like a jobber (the Tag Team Champions remember) and that story is dominating the show. There’s some good stuff on here and that’s keeping the show going but they are DYING for a top heel to oppose Alberto (who is far from a great character in the first place). In other words, a Jeff Jarrett run company still doesn’t seem capable of writing TV that is anything more than just average at best.

Results

Eli Drake/Ethan Carter III/Chris Adonis b. Moose/Naomichi Marufuchi/Eddie Edwards – Lifting sitout Pedigree to Moose

Taiji Ishimori b. Davey Richards – 450

Sienna b. Rosemary when Rosemary couldn’t answer the ten count

Octagoncito b. Trevor Lee via countout

Alberto El Patron b. LAX via DQ when Ortiz interfered

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Impact Wrestling
Date: April 20, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, D’Angelo Dinero

It’s a fresh batch of tapings with this episode being billed as live, even though it was taped a few hours ago. The big story coming into tonight is the lack of Josh Matthews on commentary after his team lost the eight man tag last week. In other news, Lashley will defend the World Title against James Storm after a fan vote. Let’s get to it.

In Memory of Rosey.

We look at James Storm winning the title nearly six years ago. Now it’s time for him to get the title back though Lashley doesn’t think much of it. Lashley: “I’m not good, I’m not bad. I’m me.”

Opening sequence.

Tag Team Titles: Joel Coleman/Jake Holmes vs. LAX

LAX is defending. Ortiz takes over on Coleman to start and it’s a suplex/high crossbody combination for two. Holmes comes in but is quickly sent into the corner for Poetry in Motion into a cannonball. The Street Sweeper (powerbomb/Blockbuster combo) is enough to put Holmes away at 2:36.

Konnan talks about how awesome the team is and mentions everyone by name. Cue Decay for the brawl and we take a break.

Here’s Karen Jarrett for a chat. Karen introduces herself and makes a major announcement: Global Force Wrestling and Impact Wrestling have officially merged. After a very weak “thank you Jarretts” chant, Karen declares this the Night of Champions with three title matches (not counting the Tag Team Titles).

She’s ready to bring someone out but here’s Sonjay Dutt to interrupt. He used to be a big deal in the X-Division so let’s make the X-Division Title match tonight’s main event. Oh and let’s throw him in there and make it a three way so he can win the title for the first time. This brings out Andrew Everett (the original challenger) to say it’s his shot tonight alone. Now it’s Gregory Helms and Trevor Lee interrupting, saying Helms runs the division. As for Dutt, if he never won anything around here, maybe it’s because he sucks.

Bruce Prichard comes out and says, on behalf of Karen and Dutch Mantel (So they all officially have power? Got it.) that the main event will be for the X-Division Title. We can also add three more people to the match to make it a six way. A brawl breaks out with Dutt and Everett standing tall but getting into an argument over the belt.

Anthony Mayweather (better known as Crimson) talks about growing up in a single parent household. He’s lived recklessly but now he’s changing because of his five year old son. He joined the US Army after dropping of college and that helped bring him here.

Knockouts Title: ODB vs. Rosemary

Rosemary is defending. ODB starts fast with a discus forearm but it’s way too early for the Bam. They head outside with Rosemary clotheslining her onto the ramp, only to miss a top rope backsplash inside. ODB’s rams into almost her crotch sets up a middle rope Thesz press for two but another Bam is broken up. The Bronco Buster doesn’t work either and it’s the Red Wedding to retain the title at 3:44.

Rating: D+. No time to do anything here but Rosemary winning is probably the best option as they seem to be trying to turn her into something special. She’s held the title for six months already and there’s a good chance that she’ll hold it at least until Slammiversary. ODB isn’t the most interesting character in the world so having her lose makes the most sense.

LAX defends against Decay in a street fight next week.

Bruce and Karen say Suicide has been added to the main event. Sienna comes up to Karen and asks where the GFW Women’s Champion is. Karen doesn’t think Sienna should be that excited to see the champ because she’s coming. No name is given.

Long recap of Laurel Van Ness and company vs. Allie/Braxton Sutter.

Chris Silvio vs. Kongo Kong

Kong suplexes him to start and hits the cannonball. A top rope splash ends Silvio at 1:18.

James Storm is ready to leave Lashley flat on his back.

Alberto El Patron is in Arizona and is going to be watching the World Title match.

Magnus says he should be #1 contender because he’s the GFW Champion and he got the fall in last week’s eight man tag.

Impact Wrestling World Title: James Storm vs. Lashley

Lashley is defending and has Josh Matthews in his corner. Josh sits in on commentary while JB does the ring announcing, much to Borash’s dismay. Storm gets backed into the corner to start as we hear about James being here for the first day. Well that’s what JB is talking about at least. Josh on the other hand is saying he’s the Jim Ross to Lashley’s Steve Austin.

Now it’s a talk about upcoming house shows (no dates mentioned) as Storm clotheslines Lashley outside. Cue Ethan Carter III so Josh grabs a beer bottle, only to have James hit Lashley from behind. A suplex onto the steps slows Storm down as we take a break. Back with Lashley still in control until Storm fights out of a chinlock. Storm gets in a few clotheslines and a running neckbreaker for two. Lashley heads up top but gets pulled back down, setting up an ugly top rope elbow.

Closing Time looks to set up the Last Call but Storm settles for two off a powerbomb instead. Lashley’s Dominator gets the same and there goes the referee (of course). Two Last Calls get no count so Storm goes outside and grabs the aforementioned beer bottle. Carter gets in as well though and blasts Storm with the bottle. The spear retains Lashley’s title at 17:07.

Rating: B. Overbooked (of course) but still good with Carter turning like he needed to and Josh switching over to a managerial role, which is easily the best call for him. I’m assuming we’ll now get Magnus vs. Alberto for the #1 contendership and we’re likely heading towards a triple threat match at Slammiversary.

Josh is very happy with the result.

Dutch Mantel says Dezmond Xavier is the fifth man in the X-Division match.

We look at Chris Adonis attacking Moose at a Border City Wrestling show.

Moose is all fired up but here’s Adonis with his arm in a sling. Davey Richards jumps Moose from behind and will be challenging for the title next week.

Josh is still on commentary.

Quick recap of the main event.

X-Division Title: Trevor Lee vs. Dezmond Xavier vs. Suicide vs. Andrew Everett vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. ???

Lee is defending and this is one fall to a finish. The last entrant is…..Low Ki, who hasn’t been around here for about two years. Low Ki is in the suit and there are no tags here, as is usually the custom. Dutt grabs a tornado DDT on Xavier while walking across everyone else’s chest in something out of the Matrix. A six way standoff sees Lee get dropkicked out to the floor.

Dutt moonsaults onto Suicide and Everett before sending Lee face first into the apron. Xavier avoids a Low Ki charge and moonsaults onto the pile as we take a break. Back with Everett taking the standing chest stomp from Lee. Trevor throws everyone out as Dutt seems to have an eye injury.

Things slow down a bit as Josh clarifies his status: “I said I’d leave. I left for a week and now I’m back.” Lee keeps throwing people out until Everett Pele’s him. We get a parade of kicks, including Xavier hitting a 619 around the post to Ki’s ribs. Dutt’s top rope splash gets two and Suicide does the fall onto everyone else. We’re officially in an overrun because we’re “LIVE” and you don’t know what’s going to happen.

Everett dives onto everyone but Xavier breaks up the shooting star. With Xavier on top, Everett tries a springboard reverse hurricanrana but only gets his legs on Xavier’s back. Thankfully Xavier lands on his feet instead of actually taking the move. Everett hits the Frankendriver on Lee, only to have Ki kick him to the floor. A top rope double stomp to Trevor gives Ki the title at 19:00.

Rating: C+. That would be annual “See, we care about the X-Division” match. I’ve never been a Low Ki fan and I’m even less of a fan of these multi-man cluster matches as they’re just a bunch of people doing spots until the final spot. On top of that, while it’s very nice to see some fresh blood, I’m so glad TNA wasted our time with the Everett vs. Lee story because HERE’S A BIG MULTI-MAN MATCH INSTEAD! The match was fun but it felt like a longer version of something we’ve seen many times before, which isn’t what the X-Division needs.

The announcers bicker again and Pope walks off. JB punches Josh to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This is a really tricky one as they addressed some of the issues (needing fresh blood, better focus on the X-Division, some better matches) but ran into some new issues (the fresh blood isn’t interesting/very good, going with the short term over the long term and thinking a big multi-person match is good because it’s long and messy).

The big story of the night, the GFW merger, means nothing because GFW means nothing. Coming into tonight they were slightly below the NWA, which at least runs some regular events. GFW and Impact merging doesn’t mean anything and is really just a way to add in some new names who weren’t going to be signed by anyone else. It’s nice to get rid of the GFW (likely with a bunch of unification matches down the line) but it really didn’t need to be treated like a big moment.

All those problems aside, there was a definite energy around here and that’s a very welcome addition. Impact has felt stale and dull for a long time now and hopefully this energy keeps up over the taping cycle. It’s a better show than they’ve done in a long time, though I’m not sure I like a lot of the ideas they seem to be going with for the future.

Results

LAX b. Jake Holmes/Joe Coleman – Street Sweeper to Holmes

Rosemary b. ODB – Red Wedding

Kongo Kong b. Chris Silvio – Top rope splash

Lashley b. James Storm – Spear

Low Ki b. Dezmond Xavier, Sonjay Dutt, Trevor Lee, Andrew Everett and Suicide – Top rope double stomp to Lee

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Impact Wrestling
Date: April 13, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

Tonight is all about the announcers as we have an eight person tag between Team Borash and Team Matthews with the winner getting…..it seems just bragging rights actually. This is the top story in the promotion at the moment as we’re still waiting on most other stories to really take off. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

We get a recap of most of last week’s show.

Reno Scum vs. Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. vs. Decay

It’s not a good sign when your tag division is the champs and the three teams they beat to win the belts. Josh starts off by insulting “all the marks and idiots on Twitter” as Adam kicks Garza down. It’s off to Crazzy Steve as Josh talks about all the support he has on social media. The Kid gets dragged in so Abyss can hammer away, leaving Josh to insult the fans some more.

Josh officially confirms that he’s off commentary if his team loses, thankfully followed by Pope talking about the match for a few seconds. That’s too long though so let’s plug Fury being unleashed tonight and the Fite Network app. Luster comes in for a spinebuster on Steve but gets chokeslammed by Abyss. It’s back to Kid for a springboard dropkick to send Abyss outside, followed by a suicide dive from Adam. Luster hits a running Razor’s Edge into the corner and an assisted double stomp ends Steve at 6:10.

Rating: D+. This is going to be a really, really long night with the commentary being way more annoying than it needs to be. At the end of the day, it’s a match about arguing commentators instead of the World Title situation or anything important. The match was nothing special and was your usual calamity, which happens way too often in these matches.

Josh leaves for a phone call.

Andrew Everett thinks he’s earned a title shot but the Helms Dynasty comes in to say not so fast. Instead, tonight it’s a four way with Everett vs. Suicide, Marshe Rockett and someone else. Everett has an idea: Helms himself can fill out the match. Helms is eventually talked into it.

Here’s Bruce Prichard to announce the new #1 contender by way of a fan vote. The choices were James Storm and Ethan Carter III with the fans choosing…..Storm. This brings out a ticked off Carter to say Prichard needs to read it again. Bruce says it was Carter’s idea to put the choice in the hands of the people and that one loss to Alberto El Patron probably stuck in the fans’ heads. Bruce’s suggestion is to go find a mirror and see if Carter can find out what happened to the man that used to run Impact Wrestling. Maybe the fans gave up on him for tapping out to El Patron. Carter is off to ponder.

Good segment here as Carter is really starting to sink into his heel turn, which they’ve allowed to build over time. Bruce was solid here too, which isn’t something you normally get from him. I can get where both of them are coming from and that’s not something you see too often.

Karen Jarrett wants to make Impact great.

Allie/Braxton Sutter vs. KM/Sienna

The guys start things off and here’s Josh back from his long phone call. KM misses a charge in the corner and let’s look at the commentators for a bit. Allie drops to the floor so Sienna yells a lot, allowing KM to run Sutter over from behind. As usual, commentary continues to talk about the main event and ignores Sutter slipping out of a powerslam. A suplex sends KM into the corner and Sienna misses a charge into another corner. Allie tags herself in and hits a crossbody with Sienna tripping over KM for the pin at 3:49.

Rating: D. Not much to see here again but thankfully Allie and Sutter finally won something. This story is starting to go long but at least they won a match here, which isn’t likely to be the blowoff. Allie pinning Sienna makes sense and hopefully they win a few more matches going forward.

Post match Kongo Kong (the Fury that was to be unleashed, complete with his rather large and saggy breasts) comes in and beats up Sutter. Laurel Van Ness comes out and helps beat Allie down.

Josh to JB on what happens after tonight’s main event: “I’m going to beat you and drag you out of here like United Airlines!”

Rosemary vs. Santana Garrett

Non-title and Santana used to wrestle here as Brittany. Rosemary chokes her over the ropes as Josh says he and his team are going to party in the hotel room and watch You’ve Got Mail on Pop TV. What hotel is he staying in that gets Pop TV? Back in and a clothesline in the corner sets up a t-bone suplex for no cover. A Last Chancery lets Santana do the long crawl to the ropes, followed by a handspring elbow in the corner. Josh: “Shades of Muta. Or Matthews!” Garrett misses a Lionsault though and the Red Wedding is good for the pin at 4:57.

Rating: C-. Slightly better match here and having Garrett back would be a good thing for the division. They’re really needing some fresh blood and having a familiar face (even one who wasn’t the biggest deal) back is a good thing. Rosemary doesn’t really have a top opponent to face at the moment, which isn’t good when she’s had the title for six months now.

Angelina Love stops kissing Davey Richards to say everyone deserves the suffering they’ll hand out.

Andrew Everett vs. Marshe Rockett vs. Suicide vs. Shane Helms

Helms is in a jacket, Impact t-shirt and jeans with knee pads. Everett goes after him at the bell but Helms bails to the floor and trips Everett, only to run from Suicide. Not that it matters as everyone else hits a dropkick, leaving Rockett in control. Everett slips on a springboard spinwheel kick but takes Rockett down anyway. Helms makes a save and finally takes off his jacket. A Downward Spiral stuns Everett but he knocks Helms outside anyway. Rockett comes back with a gordbuster, only to miss a high crossbody. Everett kicks Suicide to the floor and hits Rockett with the shooting star for the pin at 6:11.

Rating: C. The match was watchable (Everett’s botch aside) and all my normal X-Division complaints stand. They’ve got something interesting here with the Everett feud but the rest of the division (if you can call it that) is just floating along in their multi-man matches because that’s the only thing this company knows how to do with them. At least there’s a feud, though it hasn’t been the best executed.

Trevor Lee goes after Everett and gets laid out.

Matt Morgan wants to make Impact Wrestling great.

DJZ vs. Davey Richards

Davey kicks him down in the corner to start but stops to kiss Angelina. That earns him a suicide dive but more kicks stagger DJZ. The top rope double stomp misses though and DJZ kicks away before grabbing a jawbreaker. Richards pulls him down with an ankle lock for the submission at 3:22.

Rating: C. Just a squash here and there’s nothing wrong with that. Richards is far more interesting as a singles heel than he ever was as a tag wrestler and I’ve dug his feud with Edwards. DJZ is a talented guy and he’s not going to lose anything from a loss to a bigger star like Richards.

Post match Eddie Edwards and Alisha come out for the brawl but security breaks it up.

The Veterans of War are coming.

The announcers bicker one last time.

Team Matthews vs. Team Borash

Matthews: Lashley, Bram, Eli Drake, Tyrus

Borash: Alberto El Patron, Chris Adonis, Matt Morgan, Magnus

Alberto runs Drake over to start as the announcers are already at it again, though this time it’s a bit more understandable. It’s quickly off to Lashley, who misses an elbow on Adonis as Josh yells about Lashley spearing Pope last year. Bram and Magnus come in and quickly head to the floor for a brawl with Bram getting the better of it.

Drake can’t keep control though and it’s off to Alberto for the house cleaning. Back from a break with Tyrus running Adonis (Josh: “If that’s your real name!”) over from behind. Josh’s team starts taking turns stomping away on Adonis with Drake getting in a good looking slam.

Tyrus misses a Vader Bomb though and there’s the hot tag off to Morgan. House is cleaned and we hit the parade of finishers with Bram breaking up Morgan’s chokeslam. Magnus tags himself in as Morgan adds a Carbon Footprint, setting up the top rope elbow for the pin on Bram at 18:53.

Rating: C+. Pretty good eight man tag and the ending was the right call, which is the whole point of the show. The thing is this match showed the problem with the whole evil announcer idea: it made sense for him to be running his mouth here but it doesn’t mean as much when he’s doing it for the other ninety minutes of the show.

The locker room empties out to bid Josh (who is speechless in a funny moment) goodbye.

Overall Rating: C-. This show was more of a relief than anything else. Josh and JB’s feud has ruined a lot of shows in recent weeks but hopefully this wraps it up (assuming TNA doesn’t find a way around it) for good. The rest of the show was…..well it was certainly there. The Carter turn is going to be good but I’m not really sold on a lot of the other stuff. Maybe the new taping cycle will help but they really shouldn’t be running out of steam five weeks into a relaunch.

Results

Reno Scum b. Decay and Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. – Assisted double stomp to Steve

Allie/Braxton Sutter b. Sienna/KM – Crossbody to Sienna

Rosemary b. Santana Garrett – Red Wedding

Andrew Everett b. Shane Helms, Marshe Rockett and Suicide – Shooting star press to Rockett

Davey Richards b. DJZ – Ankle lock

Team Borash b. Team Matthews – Top rope elbow to Bram

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