Impact Wrestling
Date: September 29, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

It’s an interesting show this week for very different reasons. Above all else (at least in theory) this is the go home show for Bound For Glory. However, if the rumors are true, there’s also a strong chance that this is one of the, if not the very, last episodes of the show in general. Let’s get to it.

Jeremy Borash is in the ring to introduce Ethan Carter III and Lashley as the captains for tonight’s Lethal Lockdown. We’re going to get something like a live draft with the following teams announced:

Lashley, Drew Galloway, Mike Bennett, Maria Kanellis

Carter, Aron Rex, Moose, Gail Kim

The captains talk a lot of trash and say this is all that matters to them at the pay per view. Lashley isn’t like the people Carter has beaten because he can end Ethan’s career. Carter has a challenge: the two of them starting Lethal Lockdown one on one. Lashley agrees.

X-Division Title: Eddie Edwards vs. DJZ

DJZ is defending after accepting Edwards’ challenge last week. They chop it out to start until DJZ gets in a hurricanrana to send Eddie outside. DJZ’s flip dive doesn’t work though and it’s Eddie sending the champ into the barricade for a suicide dive. A sitout powerbomb gets two for Eddie but he takes too long going for the Boston Knee Party, allowing DJZ to hit a ZDT to retain at 5:34.

Rating: C. Well that happened. This was yet another match that probably should have been at Bound For Glory but instead let’s throw it on here for five minutes with no time to develop. As usual there’s nothing significant going on in the X-Division and there’s no title match announced three days before the biggest show of the year. I’m sure some multi-man match will be added on because that’s how this division works.

Post match the Helms Dynasty comes out and beats up both guys.

Maria yells at Allie some more when Laura comes in. Allie looks like she’s about to cry as Maria says this is what a woman should look like.

Mike Bennett and Moose had a sitdown interview earlier with Moose talking about how he’s dealt with people like Bennett for his entire football career. Bennett says this isn’t football and promises to teach Moose a lesson on Sunday. Moose says after he beats Bennett all around the ring, the fans will be chanting one name.

Madison Rayne vs. Laurel Van Ness

Laurel offers Madison a chance to kiss her hand before the match but Madison forearms her in the face. That means it’s time for a trip to the floor so Allie can check Laurel’s makeup. Back in and Laurel gets in a few slaps as even Josh is sounding bored with this match. Laurel hits a curb stomp for the pin at 3:56.

Rating: D. We’re three days away from the biggest show of the year and TNA is showcasing a newcomer instead of building up the matches they’ve got coming up. It says a lot when Josh Matthews, who can get hyped over whatever latest stupid sitcom he’s shilling for Pop, sounds like he’d rather be anywhere else. Laurel was watchable and the gimmick works but not the right time to debut it.

Allie announces Laurel as the winner, as per Maria’s orders.

Lashley offers a title shot to anyone who takes Ethan out.

Drew Galloway is in the ring and calls out Aron Rex for a chat. Galloway talks about how he made this the place to be (for unemployment checks) so you’re welcome. Rex: “First of all, get your own catchphrase.” Aron promises to beat Drew up like a greasy haired loser so Drew brings up the stuntman. This Sunday there can only be one and that’s going to be Drew Galloway. Security comes out to break up the brawl but both guys get in cheap shots.

Decay promises to destroy the Hardys.

Long recap of Decay vs. House Hardy.

Reby Hardy vs. Rosemary

Reby throws her around to start but gets choked down. Some forearms to the back have Reby in trouble but she grabs a Twist of Fate, only to have Steve get on the apron for a distraction. Reby goes after Steve and it’s the mist to Reby’s eyes for the DQ at 3:10.

Rating: D-. Yeah this was all you could have expected. Neither of them are regular wrestlers and the “match” was your old school Divas catfight instead of anything resembling wrestling. This feud can’t end quickly enough for me as I’m tired of hearing them say the same things for months on end.

Post match the big brawl breaks out and Rosemary gives Reby a Side Effect through a table.

Lashley wins the coin toss for his team.

Back from a break, Decay beats on Matt and Jeff even more. They fight to the back where Matt is electrocuted by a cable and we go to three camera shots at once with Steve shouting DECAY.

Cody Rhodes vignette.

Maria and Gail have another sitdown interview with Maria insisting on being introduced properly. They insult each other a few times and argue over whether the title or the Hall of Fame is more important.

Tyrus is talking about the Bound For Gold match when Eli Drake interrupts. A business partnership is offered but Tyrus isn’t interested. Then what’s the point of his character?

We run down the Bound For Glory card. The X-Division Title isn’t mentioned.

Ethan gives his team a pep talk.

Team Carter vs. Team Lashley

This is Lethal Lockdown, meaning there’s a cage with weapons around the ring. Two men will start for five minutes and then Lashley’s team sends in a man for a 2-1 advantage for two minutes. After those two minutes are up, Team Carter sends in a second man to even things up. The teams alternate every two minutes until all eight are in. At that point the cage roof lowers and it’s one fall to a finish.

Carter is in the ring to start but Lashley sends Bennett out to start instead. They slug it out to start with Carter getting the better of it, only to walk into a spinebuster. A clothesline gets Carter out of trouble and both guys are down until it’s Galloway giving Lashley’s team their advantage. The beating is on and we take a break.

Back with Rex coming in to even things up and the good guys take over, as is always the case in these things. Lashley gives his team another advantage as the clock is all over the place here. There’s nothing to talk about here as they’re just hitting each other over and over during these periods. Moose even things up and hits a spinning crossbody but everything evens out until it’s Maria coming down the ramp.

Bennett tells her not to get in though so the brawling continue until Gail Kim comes out and throws Maria inside. That lasts all of ten seconds as Maria runs out with Gail chasing her up the ramp. I’m SO glad they were added here and not, say, whoever is in the X-Division Title match. Ah right, WE DON’T HAVE ONE OF THOSE FOR THE PAY PER VIEW.

Back from another break with Lashley’s team in full control until Lashley has them stop for a meeting, allowing Rex to come back with a chair shot. Moose and Rex take turns beating Lashley down with various weapons. Bennett gets in a pipe shot on Rex and superkicks a chair into Moose’s face.

Moose does the same thing with a dropkick but walks into the Futureshock. It’s down to Carter vs. Lashley with Ethan winning a slugout and sending him head first into the cage. The TK3 is no sold so Lashley spears him down and grabs the head and arms choke. Carter goes for the ropes but it doesn’t matter inside the cage. Ethan passes out at 29:03.

Rating: C+. The women being a big waste of time aside, this was a standard Lethal Lockdown with an odd ending as Carter probably shouldn’t lose to end the go home show. Lashley continues to look dominant and he probably should drop the title on Sunday. The other people were really just background noise here, which is why this was such a waste of a gimmick. Just do an eight person tag or something.

Lashley’s choice for the main event: no holds barred.

Overall Rating: D+. Bound For Glory, assuming it happens, really isn’t looking that hot on paper and this show didn’t do it many favors. The matches have all been built up well enough but they’re still not interesting. The main event being no holds barred doesn’t do much for me and the X-Division still not having a match isn’t much better. The company certainly isn’t heading in on a high note but that’s pretty standard anymore.

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Impact Wrestling
Date: September 8, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

We have arrived. Unfortunately it’s not at Bound For Glory or anything that’s going to matter in the long run, but we’ve reached Final Deletion II: This Time It’s REALLY Final. In other words, Decay is going to the Hardy Compound to fight Matt and Jeff in what’s going to be a big mess that you may or may not find highly entertaining. Let’s get to it.

Senor Benjamin and Vanguard I tell us that these segments will be performed by professionals and no animals were harmed in making this.

We see a clip from last week with Reby saying prepare the battlefield.

Senor Benjamin digs graves for Decay as we hear an operatic version of the Obsolete song.

Matt tells Senor Benjamin to prepare the personal zoo for visitation.

Here are Mike Bennett and Maria with something to say. Mike says don’t bite the hand that feeds you, which is what Moose has been doing lately. It was Bennett that brought Moose in and paid him but thanks to a strongly worded text message, Moose has been fired. With him out of the way, Mike can become World Champion like he deserves.

This brings out Dixie Carter of all people to say people are here to watch wrestling. Tell me Dixie: how much time is Final Deletion II getting tonight? Mike says no one appreciates either himself or Maria but he knows Dixie is about to put him in the main event. Dixie says not so fast because Mike will be in a match against, of course, Moose. Mike and Maria wisely run off.

Post break Mike and Maria yell at Dixie, who says Mike is in breach of contract if he doesn’t fight. As a bonus, Maria is no longer in charge of the Knockouts because she has to defend the Knockouts Title against an opponent to be determined next week.

Gail Kim/Jade vs. Allie/Sienna

Sienna and Gail start things off because it’s always Gail first. Allie gets tagged in and is promptly run over by a shoulder to send her outside. Sienna tells Allie to stay out of it because she’s not a wrestler. The fans want Allie but get Sienna’s running splash on Gail instead. The AK47 is broken up but Sienna still won’t tag Allie in. Jade comes in with her kicks and Allie accidentally tags herself in and hits Sienna by mistake. Sienna runs Allie over with the Silencer and Jade gets the pin at 4:38.

Rating: D. This was angle advancement though I’m really not sure where this is going. Allie is being turned face but how do you go from her not being able to do basic stuff properly to being able to fight someone like Sienna? I still don’t care about Gail, Jade or Sienna but that’s the product of forcing our way to Gail vs. Maria despite it being a squash on paper.

Billy Corgan has a major announcement but won’t say what it is.

Back to the Hardy Compound with Matt bringing the rest of the team to his personal zoo. That means a giraffe named George Washington eats a hat and the brothers Hardy fighting a kangaroo named Smoking Joe Frazier. Later, Matt, described as a spot monkey whisperer, talks to monkeys named after members of the X-Division. Then a tiger tells Matt that Decay arrives tonight. I really don’t know what I just saw but it’s giving me flashbacks to Mean Gene and George Steele in the Detroit Zoo so we’ll declare this awesome.

Corgan is in the ring and unveils the Grand Championship, which is replacing the now retired King of the Mountain Title. This brings out Drew Galloway to say he’s 6’5, thirty one years old and has sixteen years experience so how can anyone else be the choice? Corgan says this is the evolution of wrestling and we get a video giving us the rules

3 rounds

3 minutes per round

The match can end at any time but each round is scored on a 10 point system and if no one wins in the nine minute time limit (yes a nine minute time limit), three judges will declare a winner.

There will be an eight man tournament and the first champion will be crowned at Bound For Glory. Galloway says he is this business but here’s Aron Rex to say this started over a title and it’s ending with Drew going back to Scotland in a medical helicopter. Corgan says not so fast because we’ve got a tournament match right now.

Grand Championship Tournament First Round: Braxton Sutter vs. Drew Galloway

The judges are just unnamed people and the lights are down for some reason. Drew gets in a belly to belly and says that’s a ten. A boot to the face gets two for Galloway and he fires off chops in the corner as this is one sided so far. Some right hands have Sutter in more trouble and the first round ends at just over three minutes. The first round goes to Drew 10-9 all around, giving us a 30-27 score.

Sutter gets beaten up for the first minute of the second round before he snaps Drew’s throat across the top rope to take over. A superplex gets two on Galloway and a snap powerslam gets the same. Sutter pounds away as Josh says Drew has given up his back (because this is a UFC match) and the second round ends. The scores go 10-9, 10-9 and 9-10 in Sutter’s favor…..which means the match is even because they’ve won a round each. Sure why not. Drew gets in a piledriver and the Iron Maiden makes Sutter tap at 8:03 (including breaks between rounds).

Rating: D. So to recap, the number of points you get don’t count because it’s based on who wins two rounds? In other words, they’re trying to make this like UFC but want to switch it just enough that it’s not UFC? Ignoring the scoring system (never been a fan in wrestling), this was a bad match with the guys mainly chopping each other and then pounding away like a UFC fight to end the rounds. Oh and again: nine minute time limits. How can that be a good idea?

During the break, Rockstar Spud attacked Sutter.

A guy leaves a liquor store and runs into Rosemary. Sexual innuendo is exchanged and Decay attacks, leaving the guy in the road and stealing the truck. Abyss says he’s heard Cameron is beautiful this time of the year.

We go to a press conference for the main event of Bound For Glory. Corgan, Ethan Carter III and Lashley all come out to their entrance music with the fans/press waving their arms to Ethan’s song. Corgan talks about how this is the kind of match you’re going to remember in twenty years. Carter sees a monster in Lashley but he also sees a coward behind those sunglasses.

Lashley destroyed a division and that’s not cool. They started fighting back in England over Kurt Angle’s broken body (Lashley: “I did that.”) and it ends at Bound For Glory. Lashley talks about being the guy that can defend Impact from other organizations but Carter says he’s beaten everyone and Lashley will be no different. Lashley goes on a rant about everyone he’s hurt and how Carter will be no different (that sounds familiar). A brawl broke out and the “press” just awkwardly watched. This is by far the best thing on the show tonight but that’s just because it’s less insane than the other stuff.

The brawl continued after a break with Lashley throwing Carter out of a door and through some wood.

Video on Jesse Godderz and how excited he is for the Grand Championship tournament.

Grand Championship Tournament First Round: Eli Drake vs. Jesse Godderz

Apparently you get points for aggressiveness, controlling the action and physicality. They trade arm work to start with Godderz working on a chinlock. A dropkick and forearm get two for Jesse and it’s a few armdrags to wrap up the first round. Jesse wins the first round 29-28 with the announcers turning into analysts in between rounds.

Drake hammers away in the corner and gets two off a DDT. A powerslam gets the same but Jesse gets in a forearm, followed by the Adonis Lock. Drake rides out the clock to end the round and it goes to Godderz again. The final round begins with Drake hitting some kind of a powerbomb but getting caught in the Adonis Lock again. An Angle Slam gets two on Eli, only to have him hit Blunt Force Trauma for the quick pin at 9:24 total.

Rating: D+. This was another basic match with a gimmick attached that makes it feel more “real” because that’s what wrestling fans tune in to see on a show featuring a boxing kangaroo. I like Drake and Godderz has grown on me tremendously but there’s nothing you can do when you’re having three mini matches and have to play to some judges who aren’t likely to mean much in this whole tournament.

We recap Galloway and Rex’s issues over the last few weeks.

Rex is kicking stuff over and really doesn’t feel like talking. He’s talked and performed for years but he’s done thinking. So here’s the problem: there’s a good chance these two are going to wind up in the finals of the Grand Championship tournament at Bound For Glory. Ok, cool. Those two fighting for a title is fine. What’s not cool is having this big, violent feud’s first match be in this rigidly timed format with a nine minute time limit. Let them beat the heck out of each other instead of going to a judges’ decision or having to get the match done fast. Think this stuff through.

It’s time for Final Deletion II. Decay goes after Senor Benjamin but he turns a shovel around to show the word DELETE. We cut to Decay arriving at the house, which Rosemary calls home sweet home. They look through the window to see Reby holding Maxill but here’s Matt, who KNEW THEY WOULD COME.

Back from a break and it’s time for the showdown with the Hardys (the three adults) holding up their fireworks. Abyss: “THIS IS NOT BEAUTIFUL!” Hang on because there are going to be a lot of very quick cuts in this thing. The Hardys chase them off with the fireworks and a ladder is knocked over. It’s really hard to see what’s going on here but for some reason fireworks are being shot horizontally at Decay but a camera cut shows them exploding in the air.

Matt sends Reby back to the house as Decay hides behind ye olde dilapidated boat. Abyss tells someone to get to the house and Jeff dropkicks the boat into the water. Cue Senor Benjamin to say Matt needs the boat. Jeff disappears and Benjamin starts pulling the boat but Joseph Park walks out of the water. Park: “Brother Benjamin! I loved you in Final Deletion!” Benjamin tazes Park and puts him in a conveniently placed bulldozer.

It’s off to Steve, who tries to send Jeff face first into a fire inside a big tire. That earns Steve a sitout gorbuster into a pool and they fight underwater. Matt is walking through smoke and calling for Rosemary as Benjamin dumps Park (presumably) into a grave. Jeff chokes Steve out under the water and sits on the side of the pool, only to be pulled back in ala the end of Friday the 13^th.

Back to Benjamin who laughs at the grave but Abyss pops out to choke him. Steve and Jeff fight over a pool toy but it’s back to Abyss going after Matt and pulling out Janice. Jeff takes the shot to the ribs for his brother but here’s Vanguard I to launch rockets at Decay. The Hardy symbol in the grass is lit on fire with Steve inside. We cut back to the house where Rosemary has Maxill.

Vanguard I tells her to put him down so she blows mist at the drone to knock it offline. Maxill escaped somewhere in there and here’s Matt to say Rosemary has crossed a line. She mists him but he sucks it into his mouth and spits it back at her. Maxill staggers over to Matt as Reby reappears. The family is reunited but we cut back to Jeff who is laying on the ground in agony. Steve laughs at the fallen Benjamin and a car, I guess containing Decay, leaves to end the show.

So yeah, the Final Deletion is basically Sharknado. It was a lot of fun the first time because it was just so stupid but the second version is really just a bigger budget version where you expect the same stuff over and over again. Other than the random Joseph Park cameo (really funny), this was a lot of the same bits that they did the first time but without the “what am I watching” reactions. I had fun with it and all but I really don’t need to see this again unless they come up with something fresh next time. It also doesn’t help that this set up (in theory) a regular tag match at Bound For Glory. Isn’t that kind of backwards?

Overall Rating: D. Let’s get this one out of the way right now: there was an idea here. This show was an attempt to try a lot of different stuff and not just do the same old ideas that we’ve covered for so many months if not years. I can give them a lot of credit for that attempt but that doesn’t mean it’s something that worked.

The wrestling here was bad and as is so often the case, that’s not on the wrestlers themselves. The tag match was built around Allie not knowing what to do and the other two matches were hamstrung by the time constraints and rules. Unfortunately that’s all the wrestling we had here as the Final Deletion is just an insane segment and not a match by any stretch. I really didn’t care much for this show but it’s an example where they tried to do something different, which you really don’t see often in wrestling. There’s certainly an audience that wants to see this but I don’t know how big it really is.

Results

Jade/Gail Kim b. Sienna/Jade – Silencer to Jade

Drew Galloway b. Braxton Sutter – Iron Maiden

Eli Drake b. Jesse Godderz – Blunt Force Trauma

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Impact Wrestling
Date: August 4, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

This should be interesting as the taping schedule changes has reared its head again. Bound For Glory 2016 was originally scheduled for early September but since WWE has added a show on the same night, Bound For Glory has been moved forward a month. As a result, tonight’s Bound For Glory Playoff final is going to set up a two month build towards the pay per view. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Bound For Glory Playoff.

Last week Drew Galloway was livid at Ethan Carter III and would say what he’s going to do to him but this video would be used as evidence.

Mike Bennett and Ethan are in the ring for a face to face chat before their match tonight. Bennett brings up Ethan hiding behind his aunt but Ethan says Mike isn’t fighting Aunt D. tonight. Mike didn’t need Ethan to come out there with a kendo stick last week because he could beat Galloway on his own.

The two of them are here to do this forever and Mike has already beaten the unbeatable and he knows he can do it again. No matter what Ethan can do, he’ll always be second best because Bennett is just flat out better. Bennett says he’s ready no matter what and here’s Moose for some intimidation. The beating is on and Carter is planted with a Sky High. Carter and Bennett just have mad chemistry together.

Eli Drake is ready to make James Storm cry in his beer.

We get another clip of Rosemary going insane and trying to get Bram to go to the barn.

King of the Mountain Title: Eli Drake vs. James Storm

Storm is challenging and has to give up beer, his music and basically his entire gimmick if he loses. In other words, Storm will be deleted, finally. It’s a brawl in the aisle to start with Drake taking him into the ring for a neckbreaker. A legdrop with Storm’s neck on the middle rope keeps him in trouble but James comes back with a spinebuster for two.

Drake continues to show off though by jumping to the top rope for a superplex, followed by a quick powerslam for two more. Dang I like this guy more and more every time I see him. Drake brings in the title belt but gets caught in the Eye of the Storm. Drake loads up the beer but it goes into the referee’s eyes, allowing Eli to hit James with the belt for two. Neither finisher can hit so Drake tries a springboard, only to dive into the Last Call to give Storm the title at 6:49.

Rating: C+. I really wouldn’t have expected to see Eli Drake do two Shelton Benjamin spots in a single match but the guy keeps surprising me. Storm almost had to win the title here as you don’t want to mess with a popular gimmick like his, especially at this point in his career. Good match here and I hope Drake is back soon.

Post match Lashley comes out as Storm celebrates. After a break, Lashley is in the ring with James to say they have the only singles titles in this company because they’re the best in the world. Storm likes the look of that TNA World Title because he had it five years ago. Lashley is a former NCAA Heavyweight Champion so Storm can probably beat him in about thirty seconds.

A challenge is issued and Storm says Lashley will hurt his hands from punching James’ face so many times. Lashley gives him a chance to hand over the title now so the beating doesn’t end Storm’s career but James is willing to fight at some point in the future. Dang it they’re going to have Lashley all the titles. I’ve never been a fan of that story and it’s been done too often in recent years.

Maria gives Gail Kim a match with Allie as part of her path to a Knockouts Title match.

Bram and Rosemary are in the barn with Rosemary getting very close to him.

Gail Kim vs. Allie

Allie looks terrified. Actually hang on as Maria comes out make it a handicap match.

Gail Kim vs. Allie/Sienna

Sienna takes her down and chokes with a boot before bringing Allie in, much to her own terror. It’s quickly back to Sienna for a wheelbarrow suplex but Allie can’t even handle a slam. Sienna is smart enough to drag Allie to the corner for a tag but Gail knocks Allie to the floor and starts his comeback. Allie comes back in for a distraction and Gail gets caught in the AK47 for two. Sienna hits the Silencer on Allie by mistake and Gail grabs a quick pin on Allie at 5:45.

Rating: D+. You could see the ending coming as soon as they announced Sienna but that’s not the worst thing in the world. On the other hand though, Gail being the challenger for the title at Bound For Glory is closer to being one of the worst things TNA could do for the belt right now. It’s just been done so many times now and the fact that she’s going into the Hall of Fame doesn’t make it any better. Gail isn’t interesting as a regular character, a veteran, or anything really for that matter. She’s certainly talented but that doesn’t make her interested.

Matt Hardy accuses Jeff Hardy of getting hurt and costing them the Tag Team Titles. True actually. Tonight, Matt is going to tell a story so Jeff can learn what to do next.

Next week: Lashley vs. Storm, winner take all.

Here’s Reby to introduce Matt, meaning it’s time for more loud screechy voices, a new found TNA trademark. Matt has Jeff come out so Reby can shout OBSOLETE over and over. We hear about the history of the Hardy Boyz with Jeff being described as a spot monkey. They won the TNA Tag Team Titles but Jeff got injured and betrayed his brother. That took money out of Matt’s pocket so it’s time to win the Tag Team Titles back for Matt’s financial benefit. Oh and Jeff isn’t allowed to jump off the top rope.

Jeff Hardy/Matt Hardy vs. JT Dunn/Chuck Taylor

Matt is staying on the floor to make this a handicap match. Taylor is a big name from the independents, primarily in Chikara. Dunn starts for the team but gets caught with a slingshot dropkick in the corner. The fans chant for Jeff as Matt keeps running his mouth on a mic about how Brother Nero is an obsolete mule.

Taylor comes in with an elbow drop and a seated abdominal stretch as Matt pulls a fan over the barricade and bites him to draw some blood. Jeff makes his comeback but JT blocks the Twist of Fate. Matt: “YOU BETTER NOT LOSE YOU DELETED OBSOLETE MULE!” Matt gets in the ring to block the Swanton but Jeff jumps over Matt anyway, only to take a Twist of Fate. With Jeff down, Matt tags himself in and pins Dunn at 6:24.

Rating: D. Hey, did you know that Matt is all wacky and insane and broken? I didn’t know if TNA had hammered it into your head enough yet so I thought I’d point it out again. It’s pretty clear that we’re heading for Jeff’s big win at Bound For Glory, even if it means stretching this feud out WAY beyond its expiration date.

Grado/Mahabali Shera vs. Tribunal/Al Snow

Yes again. Apparently Grado couldn’t hire Grado again because he spent all his money on Pokeballs. The numbers game has the bad guys in control to start with Grado’s clothesline having little effect. Snow takes Grado down as we get into a more standard match. We get some trash talk from the veteran to draw Shera in, causing the referee to miss Grado’s small package on Snow. The hot tag brings in Shera and he shrugs off the numbers advantage. Stereo powerslams plant the Tribunal and a Sky High ends Snow at 6:01.

Rating: D+. Again, this was a moderately interesting idea that TNA has no idea how to wrap up so they just keep going until it’s driven into the ground. The Tribunal could have been a nice midcard tag team but now they’re losing to goons like Shera and Grado long after this feud should have wrapped up.

Rosemary is still crazy. Bram tries to leave the barn but Rosemary holds him in place. He says everyone has had their heart broken and she needs to get over it. Rosemary starts screaming and Decay comes in to knock Bram out. Bram is thrown into the trunk of a car and Decay drives off, laughing maniacally along the way.

Video on EC3.

Bennett is ready for Carter.

Carter is ready for Bennett and says Mike can bring the whole wilderness to face him.

Tyrus is ready to fix your problems.

Bound For Glory Playoff Final: Mike Bennett vs. Ethan Carter III

No Moose in Bennett’s corner and Carter is coming in with bad ribs. Carter runs him over with a shoulder to start and works on the wristlock. A gorilla press drop looks to set up a splash but there’s no rocket fuel in the spaceship and Carter hits knees. Back from a break with Bennett in control and putting on an abdominal stretch. A spinebuster gets two on Carter but he grabs a rollup for the same. They slug it out with Bennett grabbing some rolling German suplexes, only to have Carter grab a sitout powerbomb for two.

Maria gets on the apron for a failed distraction so both guys head up top with a super cutter getting two on Ethan. More yelling earns Maria an ejection and the distraction means the 1%er only gets two. Cue Moose but Eddie Edwards takes him out, leaving Bennett to hit the MIP for two of his own. Both finishers are countered again until the 1%er hits again to give Ethan the title shot at 17:25.

Rating: B. These two just work together and this was another good match between them. Carter going to Bound For Glory is pretty much their only option, even though Carter vs. Lashley isn’t the most interesting main event in the world. That being said, I’m not sure what Bennett does unless they add he and Galloway to the title match.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was mostly good save for the first half of the second hour. There’s stuff on this show that works so well but at the other end of the spectrum their bad parts are just so dull. Bound For Glory looks good on top though it’s not entirely clear what they’re going with yet. Again: as long as the Hardys don’t main event, I’m perfectly fine with how most of the show is going. This week’s show was much better than recent weeks and I think a lot of it has to do with Matt and Jeff not dominating the first half hour. Amazing how that works no?

Results

James Storm b. Eli Drake – Last Call

Gail Kim b. Sienna/Allie – Gail pinned Allie after a Silencer from Sienna

Matt Hardy/Jeff Hardy b. JT Dunn/Chuck Taylor – Swanton Bomb to Dunn

Grado/Mahabali Shera b. Tribunal/Al Snow – Sky High to Snow

Ethan Carter III b. Mike Bennett – 1%er

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: July 28, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

Tonight is still about finding a #1 contender for the World Title as we have the semifinals of the Bound For Glory Playoff with four people still possibly advancing to fight Lashley. Speaking of Lashley he now holds both the TNA World and X-Division Titles so we’ll have to see what he does with both belts. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s first round to get us to the final four.

Here’s Matt Hardy for his match but first, Matt summons Brother Nero to the ring, meaning we get to hear Reby say OBSOLETE over and over again. Matt commands Jeff to help him win his match tonight despite THAT NOT BEING PART OF THE STORY. We’re still not ready as Matt growls at Ethan like an intoxicated gorilla. Ethan says nothing, including Senor Benjamin or Vanguard 1 bringing a dilapidated boat to the ring and dropping it on his head. Matt: “You are nothing more….” Ethan: “MY PROMO IS NOT OVER!!!” Carter says this man is Jeff Hardy and he is a relevant creature.

Bound For Glory Playoff Semifinals: Matt Hardy vs. Ethan Carter III

Matt bites the hand to block a chop so Carter goes with a middle rope dropkick, only to have Ethan tweak his ankle. A belly to belly suplex lets Matt kick at the leg but Ethan kicks him out to the floor for a dive. That just hurts his ankle again though and Ethan has to break out of the Twist of Fate. A Stinger Splash looks to set up the TK3 but Matt kicks the ankle again. The second TK3 works but Reby throws in the hammer. The referee is distracted by…..I think Jeff but Matt gets caught with the hammer anyway. As the referee takes it away, Ethan takes his own boot off to knock Matt out, followed by the 1%er to advance at 7:30.

Rating: C. The ankle injury worked fine but there’s still much insanity going on with the Matt vs. Jeff feud. Thankfully it seems to be wrapping up at Bound For Glory but why am I supposed to believe that it’s the final match? It’s kind of hard to buy that when they’ve already done the FINAL match. Oh and again: there’s no reason Jeff is Matt’s servant. Owning Jeff’s intellectual property doesn’t mean he has to do everything Matt tells him, even in TNA’s odd world.

Madison Rayne is annoyed at Maria and Allie so they give her Gail Kim tonight.

Post break, Matt yells at Jeff and promises to make it worse.

Madison Rayne vs. Gail Kim

No entrances. Gail gets an early two off a backbreaker but Madison knees her in the ribs and a kick to the head gets two. An enziguri gets the same for Madison and there’s a slide into a clothesline against the bottom rope. Back up and Gail hits a quick Eat Defeat for the win at 4:59.

Rating: D+. These two have fought several times over the years and it’s really not interesting to see them do it again as we build towards Maria vs. Gail Kim in what should be a one sided slaughter. Madison isn’t the most intriguing character in the first place as she’s really just that person who used to be important but time has passed her by.

Mike Bennett and Moose are ready to destroy Lashley.

Rosemary and Bram meet in the woods and we get a flashback to Rosemary looking normal. When she was younger (as in early 20s) she had a cat. One day the cat got sick so she took it to mama, who told her everything would be ok. Then her Mama threw the cat in a trashcan to make Rosemary crazy like she is today. Back to reality, Bram thinks Rosemary is a little weird but they stop to look at a barn. It’s always a barn.

Moose vs. David Star

David is sat on the top rope for a dropkick out to the floor but Star comes back with a running dropkick. A pop up apron powerbomb ends Star’s run though and probably most of his career at the same time. Back in the and the Gamebreaker (basically a Rainmaker but with a discus lariat but without pulling Star in, making the spin rather pointless) ends Star at 2:22.

Post match here’s Lashley to come after Moose. We come back from a break with Mike Bennett pulling Moose back from Lashley and asking who wants to see this match. Eh not yet though as Bennett wants Moose to wait because Bennett needs him in the corner for the playoff match later.

The two of them leave so Lashley says he’s already got two titles but he wants all the singles gold. This brings out DJZ to suck up a bit so Lashley says DJZ can pick the match type for the X-Division Title match (remember that DJZ became #1 contender at Ultimate X). DJZ picks a ladder match and it’s on right now. Thankfully there are ladders ready just in case Lashley allowed DJZ to pick a stipulation.

X-Division Title: Lashley vs. DJZ

Lashley is defending and it’s a ladder match. DJZ gets thrown around to start but scores with a middle rope back elbow to the jaw. Lashley throws the ladder out of the ring because he can so they head outside with DJZ hitting a flip dive off the announcers’ table. Back from a break with Lashley crushing DJZ with a ladder and no selling a baseball slide to drive the ladder into his chest.

Back in and the Dominator plants DJZ but he’s still able to dropkick Lashley off the ladder. That’s not enough for the climb though as Lashley lifts up the ladder and DJZ at the same time (Pope: “That’s not something you’ll see in the X-Division.” Except for right now, when we’re seeing it in the X-Division.). DJZ grabs a quick tornado DDT to plant Lashley but he slams DJZ off the ladder and retains at 12:38.

Rating: C-. This was fine even though the ending was obvious. There were some Undertaker vs. Jeff Hardy tones here so the story worked but it was only as good as a DJZ match could get. I still really don’t like the idea of the X-Division being a prop for the World Champion to use. It was bad enough when Seth Rollins did the same thing to the US Title last year and I’m fairly convinced that this is a copy of that story. Eleven months is long enough to copy something right?

Ethan Carter III and Drew Galloway want to fight each other in the finals.

Bram and Rosemary look at the barn and Rosemary asks if it matters. We go to the flashback again with Rosemary talking to a tree about some guy named John. Rosemary writes in a journal and signs an R in her own blood. This keeps cutting in and out with pictures in her Decay attire and is all over the place like the Final Deletion style videos. Back in reality, Bram says it doesn’t matter if we hear about these old things because they’re here now. To be continued.

It’s time for Fact of Life with Eli Drake. Eli calls Lashley a cross eyed halfwit and says you can’t just go around collecting titles like this is Pokemon Go. He likes the odds of putting Lashley’s two titles against his one but here’s James Storm to interrupt. Drake says he was calling out contenders and not a drunk. Storm brings up the DQ in their match and offers Drake another beer. Eli pulls out a jug of water but Storm kicks it out to the floor. Storm: “WATER SUCKS!”

That’s still a no so Storm makes parent sex jokes, earning himself a bunch of dummy’s. Drake will give him another shot but if Storm loses, he can’t have any more beer, can’t ride the Boozer Cruiser and can’t use that stupid country song. So…..he wants Storm deleted? Storm takes a swig of beer, drinks the one he had for Drake, and says it’s on. A belt shot misses but Drake gets in a low blow and Blunt Force Trauma.

Tyrus is still ready to fix your problems.

Grado calls Tyrus to try and get his help against the Tribunal but he and Mahabali Shera have no money. There’s a match next week.

Decay beats the BroMans down in the back and there’s a match up next.

Tag Team Titles: Decay vs. BroMans

Joined in progress with only Raquel at ringside. Decay is defending and this is Monster’s Ball just because. The champs are in control and pouring tacks out onto the mat as this is one sided so far. Jesse gets slammed down would rather grab a chair than follow up. Robbie ducks a double clothesline so Robbie can springboard in with a double clothesline of his own as the challengers take over.

Abyss gets a chair dropkicked into his face and a double spear sends him through a barbed wire board. Jesse grabs the Adonis Lock with Steve’s face in the tacks but Abyss breaks it up and throws him through a table at ringside. Cue another barbed wire board and Janice (of course) but Raquel sneaks in with a low blow to save her buddies. Robbie drops Janice though and a chokeslam onto the barbed wire retains the titles at 6:50.

Rating: C. If you’ve seen one of these you’ve seen them all, save for the pretty cool Adonis Lock onto the tacks spot. This was another gimmick match for the sake of having a gimmick match though and that gets really old in a hurry. It was fun enough and a violent (by TNA standards) brawl but almost nothing we haven’t seen before.

Bound For Glory Playoff Semifinals: Mike Bennett vs. Ethan Carter III

Moose jumps Galloway during the entrance and powerbombs him onto the apron. Drew still says ring the bell because disqualifications cannot possibly happen before the bell. Bennett slowly beats him down until Drew grabs an overhead belly to belly to get himself a breather. A quick cutter gives Mike two and he throws Galloway outside. They head outside with Bennett going chest first into the bottom of the ring (as in the wood that holds it up) for two.

Drew tries Futureshock but spins Mike around first. That’s not enough though as Bennett slips away and punches the referee by mistake. Cue Moose to take Galloway out with a middle rope Sky High but Bennett only gets two. Now it’s Carter to go after Moose and send him into the steps, only to miss a kendo stick shot which hits Galloway by mistake. Moose pulls Carter to the floor, leaving Mike to hit the MIP for the pin at 7:46.

Rating: C. WAY too messy near the end but they got the point across. In theory this should set up Galloway vs. Carter at Bound For Glory but I can’t imagine they’ll do Bennett vs. Lashley at Bound For Glory. Of course there’s always the big multi-man match that wrestling companies love so much and would be as big of a mess as you can get.

Overall Rating: C-. The show was fine but it really does show how weak they are once you get out of the upper midcard. Gail Kim is still a boring face of the Knockouts, the X-Division is a prop, Decay is still doing the same things they’ve been doing and the idea of Grado/Shera vs. the Tribunal again makes me very drowsy. Storm vs. Drake does sound good though so not all hope is lost. If nothing else, well done on having six matches in a week, which is hard for any tow hour show to pull off. Finally, they seem to have dropped Dixie vs. Corgan for now, though I can’t imagine it stays gone.

Results

Ethan Carter III b. Matt Hardy – 1%er

Gail Kim b. Madison Rayne – Eat Defeat

Moose b. David Star – Gamebreaker

Lashley b. DJZ – Lashley pulled down the title

Decay b. BroMans – Chokeslam onto a barbed wire board

Mike Bennett b. Drew Galloway – MIP

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: April 26, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

It’s another one of those big TV specials (Sacrifice in this case) for TNA with a main event of Tyrus challenging Drew Galloway for the TNA World Title. Other than that we have Ethan Carter III vs. Mike Bennett in a No DQ match and Beer Money defending the Tag Team Titles against Decay in a Valley of Shadows match. Let’s get to it.

Tyrus and Rockstar Spud are in the ring to start with Tyrus talking about how Drew Galloway has promised to defend the title against him no matter what condition he’s in. Here’s Drew and we’re ready to go.

TNA World Title: Tyrus vs. Drew Galloway

Drew is defending and has bad ribs coming in. Tyrus does the smart thing to start and sends Drew to the floor for some kicks from Spud. Some chops knock Tyrus back but the big man goes right back after the ribs to take over. A double legdrop to the ribs gets two but Tyrus misses a Vader Bomb. With the tape ripped off, Drew comes off the top with a chop to the head and (doesn’t) plant Tyrus with a horrible bulldog.

Spud gets dragged in and suplexed for his efforts, followed by a Claymore for two on Tyrus because this match MUST continue. A World’s Strongest Slam puts Drew down so Tyrus goes up, only to get caught with a right hand to the face. Drew gets two more off a superplex before the Futureshock puts Tyrus away at 7:55.

Rating: C. The match wasn’t even bad but it felt like it went on forever because only TNA thinks Tyrus is even the slightest bit interesting. Thankfully this gets rid of Tyrus as anything of importance and lets us move past the brilliant idea to have him win a World Title shot at the biggest show of the year.

We recap last week’s main event with Jeff Hardy hitting a Swanton off the set to knock out both guys.

Maria has plans for the Knockouts division.

Beer Money doesn’t care what the Valley of Shadows is because this is all about their legacy with the titles.

Maria is here to talk about rebuilding the Knockouts division through a revolution. Yeah they’re not even hiding the ripoff here. Cue Gail Kim to say Maria is ruining everything that has been built and to accuse Maria of having Rosemary kidnap her last week. Maria threatens her with her power and makes Gail vs. Rosemary. If this is really supposed to lead to Gail vs. Maria, they’re even more delusional than they thought.

Gail Kim vs. Rosemary

Rosemary has Crazzy Steve with her. It’s a brawl to start with Gail being sent outside and into the post. Back in and Rosemary puts on a full nelson with her legs. Gail easily gets out and puts on the figure four around the post, followed by a twisting top rope cross body for two. A Scorpion Death Drop gets two for Gail but Steve pulls her to the floor. This brings out Maria for a distraction, allowing Rosemary to mist Gail, followed by an F5 for the pin at 6:11.

Rating: D+. If there’s a point to this story coming that isn’t Gail vs. Maria coming anytime soon, I’d love for them to get to it already. The problem here is we’ve covered so much of Gail over the years that it’s really hard to get fired up about her again. In other words: GIVE US SOMETHING NEW ALREADY.

Here’s Eli Drake for Fact of Life where the mission is to name all the dummies. Like for instance Jeff Hardy, who dove off a scaffold to prove that he’s extreme. Or like Drew Galloway, who thinks having a belt makes him a big deal. Drake has a button to press after every name that says DUMMY, YEAH. His guests tonight are the BroMans, who are now wearing glasses.

Unfortunately they have no lenses so Drake thinks they’re dummies. Jesse had the chance to ride Eli’s coattails but decided to get back together with this waste of space like Robbie E. Jesse brings up the loss to Grado so Drake gets in his face and calls him every name he can think of, capped off by, of course, dummy. The BroMans quickly dispatch him and make fun of Drake’s catchphrase. As usual, Drake has a great presence to him and was one of the bright spots on the show.

Decay is ready for their Tag Team Title shot.

Ethan Carter III says he isn’t perfect because he’s no longer the World Champion. He’s on his way back though through revenge and that starts tonight with Mike Bennett.

Tag Team Titles: Beer Money vs. Decay

Decay is challenging in a Valley of Shadows match, which means anything goes. I’m assuming at least as there’s no explanation before the match. There are weapons everywhere and the lights are dimmer than usual. The champs control to start but are quickly pulled to the floor to keep up the brawl. Of course the lighting makes it difficult to see what’s going on but that might be best all around.

Pope tells us that this is No DQ and Josh throws in that it’s no countout, which you could tell on your own, furthering the theory that TNA announcers are entirely worthless. Decay takes over with Abyss throwing a bunch of weapons into the ring to continue the beating on the champs. Apparently Rosemary interfered at one point but the announcers couldn’t see what she did because of the lighting. A Rocket Launcher is broken up and Roode catapults Steve into a DDT from Storm. Abyss eats a spinebuster from Roode and a top rope elbow from Storm gets two.

We take a break and come back with Abyss bringing in the barbed wire board because this is yet another name for Monster’s Ball. The double suplex puts Steve onto the barbed wire but Abyss breaks up the name shouting. Now it’s thumbtacks because, again, this is Monster’s Ball. Rosemary comes in and mists Abyss by mistake, earning him a beer bottle to the head for two. Steve shoves Storm off the top and through a table, followed by a low blow to Roode. The chokeslam onto the tacks gives Decay the titles at 15:33.

Rating: C. Yeah fine. I know Roode is leaving and the team is done so Decay getting the belts makes more than enough sense but I’ve seen Abyss doing this match with this exact same set of spots so many times that it’s really hard to care anymore. Overall the match was fine but there’s no connection to it, which is the case for so many things in TNA.

We look back at Eric Young cutting off Bram’s beard last week.

Bram, still with a huge beard, says he’s ticked off and wants to end Young tonight.

Mike Bennett talks about how much his debut has changed things for Ethan Carter. No one has pinned him either so tonight the streak comes to an end.

King of the Mountain Title: Bram vs. Eric Young

Young is defending and they go at it from the bell. This is also falls count anywhere because we haven’t just gotten done with a hardcore style match. Bram backdrops him for two but the Brighter Side of Suffering off the apron is countered with a grab of the beard. Young pulls out a trashcan lid but opts for a low blow instead. A DDT plants Bram and there’s a trashcan lid shot for good measure. Young bites the face to break up a superplex attempt and drops the top rope elbow for two. The piledriver through a table is countered into the Brighter Side of Suffering through the same table for the pin and the title at 6:29.

Rating: D+. AND STAY OUT YOU RASPY VOICED PEST WITH A STUPID BEARD!!! In case you didn’t know, that was it for Eric Young and I couldn’t be happier. The guy always felt like he was in way too high of a spot and while he did have some moments, I’m so glad to see him finally out of TNA. Bram should have had that title a long time ago with Young being left out but then where would we have been without Young to guide us?

Drew Galloway wants to fight Lashley next week.

Here’s a banged up Jeff Hardy to update us on his condition. Jeff says he did what he did last week because he’s Jeff Hardy and hopefully that put some sense into Matt’s head. This brings out Reby and Spud to yell about how Jeff is selfish for hurting Matt. Reby slaps him a few times until Jeff knocks her hand away. Spud goes after Jeff’s leg and gets a Twist of Fate for his efforts.

Mike Bennett vs. Ethan Carter III

Street fight. They get right in each others faces to start and Ethan clotheslines him out to the floor. Bennett grabs a chair but gets backdropped out to the floor for his efforts. Some chops up against the barricade have Bennett in even more trouble and Carter stops a charge in the corner with a raised boot. Mike sends him shoulder first into the post though and the arm is wrapped around the post for good measure.

Ethan starts his comeback but can’t get the 1%er. Instead he settles for two off a jumping Downward Spiral, followed by a double clothesline to put both guys down. Bennett grabs a quick cutter for two so it’s time to beat the tar out of Carter with a chair. The 1%er connects but Maria comes in to break up the cover. Carter unloads on him with the chair and puts on a cobra clutch, only to have Bennett climb the ropes and flip backwards for the first ever pin on Carter at 11:08.

Rating: B. I’m digging the heck out of this feud and I’m hoping it continues. The key thing here though is that they treated Carter getting pinned as something big and then gave that accolade to someone who could go somewhere with it. Really solid main event here and exactly what this show needed.

Bennett is STUNNED to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The main event helped a lot but this really didn’t feel like a big show. The name didn’t help things either as this felt more like Hardcore Justice than a run of the mill show like Sacrifice. It doesn’t help that the World Title match had Tyrus involved and then three straight hardcore style matches. The main event was good though and TNA has some potential going forward, even though I have no reason to believe it’s going to last.

Results

Drew Galloway b. Tyrus – Futureshock

Rosemary b. Gail Kim – F5

Decay b. Beer Money – Chokeslam onto a pile of tacks

Bram b. Eric Young – Brighter Side of Suffering through a table

Mike Bennett b. Ethan Carter III – Rollup counter to a cobra clutch

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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