Royal Rumble Count-Up: 2013 Redo – 1995: The Worst Rumble Ever

Royal Rumble 1995
Date: January 22, 1995
Location: USF Sun Dome, Tampa, Florida
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon

Jarrett is challenging and now has the Roadie with him. Razor starts with his usual assortment of punches and a fallaway slam to send Jeff to the floor. After a little toweling off on the floor, Jeff armdrags Razor down and struts. They trade arm holds until Razor gets taken to the mat where Jeff messes with his hair. Careful with the grease there Jeff. Razor gets annoyed and knocks Jeff to the floor for some more Memphis stalling.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon

Razor tries some quick rollups for two but Jeff goes right for the knee to take over. Jeff does his best Ric Flair imitation but as he goes for the third cannonball down onto the leg, Razor kicks him over the top and out to the floor. Back in and Jarrett puts on the Figure Four, putting Razor in a lot of trouble. Razor escapes and starts his comeback with punches and the belly to back superplex but Jeff counters in mid air for two. Razor clotheslines him down and loads up the Edge, but the knee gives out and Jeff rolls him up for the pin and the title.

IRS vs. The Undertaker

This is the start of the Undertaker vs. Million Dollar Team feud which went on FOREVER. The bell rings and we stand around a lot. IRS tries to jump Taker from behind and it goes nowhere. Taker glares him down to the floor and the stalling continues. IRS slides in, gets glared down, and hides on the floor again. Finally we head back in with IRS pounding away and getting kicked in the face for his efforts.

Taker grabs him by the tie and swings him out of the corner, followed by Old School as this is dominance so far. IRS and DiBiase get in an argument on the floor, causing DiBiase to call for some druids. Taker loads up Old School again but the druid shakes the rope and Taker goes down. A clothesline puts Taker on the floor where he beats on the druids a bit before IRS jumps him from behind.

Bret is ready for his chance at the title.

WWF World Title: Diesel vs. Bret Hart

Backlund stays in the ring and puts the Crossface Chicken Wing on Bret. This set up their I Quit match at Mania which even Bret admits sucked. Diesel makes the save and hugs Bret.

More Pettingill and Anderson stuff.

Bob Holly and 1-2-3 Kid are excited to be in the finals of the tag team title tournament.

Tag Titles: Bob Holly/1-2-3 Kid vs. Bam Bam Bigelow/Tatanka

Shawn and Diesel split up and we needed champions. Holly and Tatanka start things off with Tatanka hitting a side slam for two. Holly comes back with a slam and a few dropkicks as this is going nowhere so far. Off to the Kid vs. Bigelow, with the big man running over both of the smaller guys with ease. Bigelow LAUNCHES Kid into the air but gets caught in a rana to send Bam Bam rolling.

Shawn laughs a bit.

We look at the ending to the match from last year.

Vince apologizes to Lawrence Taylor.

Royal Rumble

Billy Gunn is #23 so naturally Bart Gunn is #24. Bob Backlund is #25 and also lasts about fifteen seconds due to a Bret Hart attack. Steven Dunn is #26 as there are like ten people in there. Bret and Backlund fight in the aisle again and old man Dick Murdoch is #27. Mantaur misses a charge at Bart and Adam Bomb is #28. For the second year in a row, Vince decides Adam Bomb is going to win the Rumble. Seriously.

Fatu is #29 and Luger eliminates Mantaur. Crush is #30, giving us a final group of Shawn, Bulldog, Luger, Montoya, Godwinn, Bart, Billy, Dunn, Murdoch, Bomb, Fatu and Crush, or WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE. Thankfully Crush immediately eliminates the Gunns to clear the ring out a bit. We cut to Anderson who gives a very uninterested wave and points to the ring. You know, because this is SO beneath her. Well, not beneath her enough to give the check back or anything but you get the idea.

Anderson poses with Shawn to end the show.

Ratings Comparison

Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon

Original: B+

Redo: C+

Undertaker vs. IRS

Original: D

Redo: D

Bret Hart vs. Diesel

Original: B-

Redo: A

Bob Holly/1-2-3 Kid vs. Bam Bam Bigelow/Tatanka

Original: D+

Redo: C+

Royal Rumble

Original: D+

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: C+

What in the world was I thinking on the title match? It was great.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/14/royal-rumble-count-up-1995/

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Royal Rumble Count-Up: 2013 Redo – 1994: I’ve Seen Japanese Anime Less Confusing Than This

Royal Rumble 1994
Date: January 22, 1994
Location: Providence Civic Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Attendance: 14,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Ted DiBiase

Vince is on commentary here and gets to do his carnival barker stuff. The guy knows how to make a show sound exciting, I have to give him that. DiBiase comes out to do commentary with McMahon due to having to retire late in 1993 due to a bunch of injuries.

Tatanka vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Tatanka gets in a shot to the head and tries a top rope sunset flip, only to have Bam Bam sit on him. When all else fails, sit on the other guy. Off to a bearhug for about two minutes before Bigelow drops him with a shoulder block. Tatanka starts his war path thing so Bam Bam decks him in the head with an enziguri to drop him. The moonsault misses though and Tatanka goes up again, this time hitting the cross body for the pin.

Rating: C+. Shockingly hot opener here and if you cut the bear hug in half or so, this is a really solid match. They stuck to the formula really well here and the match was good as a result. This is one of the nice surprises in wrestling: on paper this sounded horrible but it turned out to be a pretty nice match. Good opener.

Tag Titles: Bret Hart/Owen Hart vs. Quebecers

Intercontinental Title: IRS vs. Razor Ramon

Guess who is defending here. JR and Gorilla Monsoon do commentary for this match. IRS goes on a big rant about how evil the crowd here is for not paying their taxes, even though they have about three months left to file. Razor goes off on IRS to start, knocking him out to the floor. IRS comes back with some forearms but Razor punches him right back down to take over again.

Ramon hits a bunch of basic stuff like atomic drops and clotheslines for some two counts, but IRS ducks under a clothesline to send Razor out to the floor. Back in and IRS goes up but jumps into a boot. For one of the only times I can EVER remember this happening, IRS avoids the foot and drops an elbow for two instead. WHY IS THAT SO HARD FOR PEOPLE TO DO???

Or maybe another referee comes out to explain the interference and the match is restarted. Razor hits the Edge to retain.

Bearer and Undertaker are making a coffin for Yoko.

We recap the world title match, which is Yoko being scared of Taker and Taker being one of the last hopes to stop the monster. Apparently the contract was signed before Yoko and company knew it was a casket match. Taker I believe debuted his popping out of the casket spot in this feud.

WWF World Title: The Undertaker vs. Yokozuna

AND HE GETS UP. Diesel comes out and they get Taker in the coffin but he fights ALL OF THEM OFF. Yoko steals the Urn and hits Taker in the head with it before opening the Urn. Green smoke comes out of it and Taker now is powerless. Everyone hits a bunch of moves on him as this goes on WAY too long. After ALL THAT, Taker is put in the coffin and Yoko retains the title.

BUT IT GETS WORSE!

Then, to REALLY hammer home the point, the image on the screen starts to rise up through the top of the screen (which should be the top of the casket, meaning it should be ramming into the people that put him in the freaking casket) and A FREAKING BODY RISES OUT OF THE TOP OF THE SCREEN. AS IN A TANGIBLE BODY (which might have been played by Marty Jannetty).

The usual Rumble interviews eat up some time.

Royal Rumble

Mabel is #16 and dang there are some big guys in there. He goes right for Diesel in a terrifying preview of Summerslam 95. Mabel cleans house until Sparky Plugg (Bob Holly as a racecar driver and debuting here as a replacement for the 1-2-3 Kid) is #17. Shawn Michaels is #18 and stares down Diesel to start. Everyone gets on Diesel and Shawn gives the final push to eliminate him. Diesel gets a VERY audible ovation and chant as he leaves.

For your big face pop of the match (other than Diesel): Bret Hart is #27 and limping very badly. Today, people would have a bandage on the knee and charge to the ring because modern wrestling is stupid. Fatu is #28 and DEAR FREAKING GOODNESS THROW SOMEONE OUT ALREADY! A bunch of guys team up and FINALLY throw Crush out as Marty Jannetty is #29. Naturally he goes right for Shawn and punches Shawn to the apron.

Ratings Comparison

Tatanka vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Original: B

Redo: C+

Quebecers vs. Bret Hart/Owen Hart

Original: A+

Redo: B-

Razor Ramon vs. IRS

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Yokozuna vs. Undertaker

Original: F

Redo: F

Royal Rumble

Original: B

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: C-

DANG I liked this show a lot better on the first viewing.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/13/royal-rumble-count-up-1994/

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Royal Rumble Count-Up: 2013 Redo – 1993: The New Monster

Royal Rumble 1993
Date: January 24, 1993
Location: ARCO Arena, Sacramento, California
Attendance: 16,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

Historical note: this is 13 days after the debut of Monday Night Raw.

Steiner Brothers vs. Beverly Brothers

Scott avoids an elbow drop but Blake breaks up the hot tag again. The crowd is silent when the Beverlies are on offense. Scott comes back with a butterfly powerbomb to put Blake down and Scott actually dives through the ropes and tags at the same time. Rick cleans house and there are Steiner Lines for both Beverlies. Scott pounds on Blake in the corner and counters a Doomsday Device with a victory roll for two. The Frankensteiner to Beau gets the pin.

Rating: D+. Pretty dull match here as the Steiners were clearly going to dominate the entire time. The Beverlies never got above lower midcard status and their biggest feud was against the Bushwhackers. What were you going to expect them to do against the freaking STEINER BROTHERS? Nothing here but a squash.

Intercontinental Title: Marty Jannetty vs. Shawn Michaels

Jannetty controls to start, sending Shawn to the floor twice with a knee lift and a clothesline. Marty punches Shawn down on the floor and poses in the ring. He tries a punch off the top but gets caught in the ribs on the way down. Shawn loads Marty up on his shoulder and in one of the only times I can ever remember it working, rams Marty shoulder first into the post.

Sherri finally does something by slapping Shawn, who gets belly to back suplexed into the ring. Shawn gets launched to the floor again as the pace picks up a bit. A powerslam puts the champ down but Shawn avoids the top rope punch. Marty stops himself before crashing and gets two off a DDT. Shawn misses a superkick and gets caught by one of his own for two. The crowd is getting into this.

Marty slingshots Shawn so he gets to do his big bump onto the post. There goes the referee via an elbow to the face and Sherri comes in. She swings her shoe but hits Marty by mistake of course. Shawn yells at her a lot and then superkicks Marty in the chest for the pin to retain.

In the back, Gene yells at Sherri to calm down. Marty comes to the back for some more brawling.

Heenan and Gorilla argue a bit.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Big Boss Man

We get a clip from WWF Mania (Saturday morning show) of Razor beating up Owen to hype the world title match.

WWF World Title: Razor Ramon vs. Bret Hart

Feeling out process to start with Razor getting the early advantage with some right hands. A knee in the corner misses and Bret has on the Figure Four in less than 90 seconds. Razor gets the rope so Bret drops elbows on the knee instead. The leg gets wrapped around the post before Bret goes after the other leg in the corner for some reason. Ramon comes back with a whip to send Bret ribs first into the post.

Here are Caesar and Cleopatra to hype up Wrestlemania. They read a proclamation about it and this is really stupid.

Royal Rumble

Ric Flair is #1 and Bob Backlund, going through a career resurgence at the time, is #2. Backlund drops Flair with a shoulder and does his little dance. Flair pounds him into the corner but Bob backdrops him down. Papa Shango is #3 and is dumped out by Flair in less than thirty seconds. Backlund it sent to the apron and Flair stomps away. They chop it out until Ted DiBiase, I believe half of the tag champions here, is #4.

Heenan makes fun of Backlund as the double teaming ensues, prompting Gorilla to threaten to knock Bobby out. Backlund is beaten on even more until Brian Knobs is #5. The Nasties are good guys at this point and happen to be feuding with Money Inc. Guess who he starts swinging at. Knobs almost dumps Flair but only gets him to the apron. Things slow down for a bit until Virgil is #6. The faces team up to fight the heels as not a lot is going on at this point.

Ratings Comparison

Steiner Brothers vs. Beverly Brothers

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Shawn Michaels vs. Marty Jannetty

Original: C

Redo: C+

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Big Boss Man

Original: D+

Redo: D

Bret Hart vs. Razor Ramon

Original: B

Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: D+

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: D

Redo: D+

Not much change here.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/12/royal-rumble-count-up-1993/

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Royal Rumble Count-Up – 1992 (2023 Redo): Yeah This One

Royal Rumble 1992
Date: January 19, 1992
Location: Knickerbocker Arena, Albany, New York
Attendance: 17,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

It’s time to get back to one of the classics as this one comes up on the request list pretty regularly. Since this is going to be my fourth time looking at it, odds are this is going to be the last time I look at it for a very good while. You probably know the big attraction by heart at this point and that should be more than enough to carry the whole thing. Let’s get to it.

We open with Vince McMahon narrating a list of Royal Rumble entrants, which does have a certain charm as he is SO into it.

Commentary runs down most of the card. There are only five matches, so a full list wouldn’t be too much to ask.

Orient Express vs. New Foundation

The Express (Kato/Tanaka) has Mr. Fuji with them. Owen and Kato start things off as Heenan ignores everything else to talk about Ric Flair in the Royal Rumble (fair enough in this case). Kato’s O’Connor roll is countered into an armbar, followed by a running hurricanrana to give Owen two. Neidhart comes in for an armbar of his own before it’s off to Tanaka for another showdown.

Tanaka bounces off of Neidhart as commentary talks about Neidhart’s questionable sanity. A spinebuster sets up Owen’s middle rope elbow as commentary finally starts talking about the match in front of them. That lasts all of ten seconds as we switch over to the Mountie winning the Intercontinental Title from a rather sick Bret Hart (not quite) at a recent house show. Heenan: “He had a 104 degree temperature. I’ve wrestled with an 113 degree temperature! It’s not that big of a deal!”

Neidhart hits a double clothesline to set up Owen’s high crossbody, followed by a spinwheel kick for two on Kato. Tanaka gets in a kick from the apron though and a Fuji cane shot lets the villains take over. Kato is back up with a jumping back elbow for two as Heenan tries to leave to consult with Flair before the Rumble. We get our first “fair to Flair” of the day as Owen does Breth’s chest first into the buckle bump. A superkick gives Tanaka two so he does it again, setting up a headbutt to the, ahem, lower abdomen (even commentary isn’t sure on that one).

Owen fights up and gets over for the tag but the referee doesn’t see it thanks to a well timed distraction (because the classics always work). Instead a belly to belly plants Tanaka for two, leaving them both down. Neidhart gets drawn in again, allowing a double clothesline for two on Owen. Another superkick drops Owen again but he gets back up with a double dropkick. The hot tag brings in Neidhart to clean house as everything breaks down. Owen hits a heck of a suicide dive on Kato, setting up the Rocket Launcher for the pin (Monsoon: “Sayonara baby!”) at 17:19.

Rating: C+. This is the kind of match that I miss in modern wrestling: take some talented people and put them in the ring together for a good while with little on the line. I get why it wouldn’t go over well today, but dang it is a nice flashback to a different era. The New Foundation wasn’t exactly as good as the Harts, but they were good enough to put in a nice effort like this one here.

We look at the Mountie defeating the sick Bret Hart to win the Intercontinental Title. Mountie kept the beatdown going after the match until Roddy Piper made the save. Another sneak attack from Mountie didn’t work, but now we have a title match.

Jimmy Hart is ECSTATIC over the Mountie winning the title. Mountie promises to beat Roddy Piper up, while taking his manhood AND his skirt.

Roddy Piper says we’re looking at one of the original Village People in the Mountie. First, Mountie wants to take Piper’s integrity, but Piper doesn’t have any! Then he’s coming for Piper’s manhood. Piper is here to wrestle, but he doesn’t know what Mountie is here to do. Tonight, Piper can win two titles and now he has to go win the first one.

Intercontinental Title: Roddy Piper vs. The Mountie

Mountie is defending and has Jimmy Hart in his corner. Piper unloads to start and Mountie bails outside fast. A Hart distraction lets Mountie get in a few shots, followed by some leapfrogs back inside. You can only do that to Piper for so long though as he sends Mountie into the buckle a few times. There’s a bulldog out of the corner as commentary bickers about how many rights Heenan has.

Hart’s distraction lets Mountie get in a few shots, including some face first rams into the buckle. A sunset flip gives Piper two as Heenan again claims the 113 degree temperature, which he survived thanks to half of a children’s Aspirin. Back up and Piper sends him over the top, only to have Mountie skin the cat. Piper sends him into an interfering Hart though, grabs the sleeper, and wins the title at 5:20.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing, but was anyone buying the Mountie as having a chance against Piper? The whole thing was a way to transition the title off of Bret to set up the eventual showdown with Piper at Wrestlemania. Piper winning a title after all those years as a star is great to see though and that was the other major point. Bad match, but a good result.

Post match Hart tries to come in with Mountie’s shock stick, which Piper takes and uses on the Mountie instead. We do get a classic Fink AND NEEEEW moment, with Piper getting to hold the title for a great moment.

Hulk Hogan is ready to win the Royal Rumble, where he won’t have any friends because he wants the WWF Title back.

The Bushwhackers and Jamison (a disturbingly nerdy guy with a bad suit and a sock sitting out of his pocket) are ready for the Beverly Sisters’ final fling. They’ll beat up the Genius too.

Bushwhackers vs. Beverly Brothers

Jamison and the Genius are here too. We hit the stall button to start, with two and a half minutes passing before the Brothers jump Luke to start the physicality. Luke fights up and bites the back of Blake’s tights, setting up a double forearm to put the Brothers outside. We settle down to Beau vs. Butch as commentary talks about Jack Tunney actually doing something lately.

Beau gets in a cheap shot to take over as commentary talks about 20,000 fans here (17,000 official, so at least it’s not that far off). Everything breaks down again and the Bushwhackers clear the ring for the second time as we are somehow almost seven minutes into this. The Beverlies both try sneaking up from behind to even less avail but this time Butch goes outside to beat up Beau. A cheap shot to Luke finally gets us into a more traditional match, with the Beverlys taking turns with the elbows. Jamison: “Stop cheating!”

A backbreaker puts Luke down again and there’s a headbutt to the back for two. Heenan rants about his tax money going to Jamison as this match just keeps going. Luke gets beaten up again as genius slaps Jamison. One shot is finally enough for Luke to get over for the tag to Butch so house can be cleaned. The Battering Ram hits Blake and a running headbutt gets two on Beau. The referee has to get Luke out though and Blake hits a top rope ax handle to pin Butch at 14:56.

Rating: D-. Yowza this was a horrible match, with nothing good in the way of wrestling, a bunch of repetitive stalling and a lame ending. This was one of the worst pay per view matches I’ve ever seen from the WWF and the time would have been better used by airing an old pinball tournament. Awful in every sense.

Post match the Bushwhackers clean house and hold Genius back so Jamison can kick him in the shin. Good for him I’m sure.

The Legion Of Doom is ready for the Natural Disasters because they’ll fight anyone. Hawk wants the Disasters’ tongues hanging out like dead deers’.

Tag Team Titles: Natural Disasters vs. Legion Of Doom

The Disasters, with Jimmy Hart, are challenging. Hawk wastes no time in swinging away at Typhoon and everything breaks down quickly. Earthquake comes in and shrugs off Hawk’s dropkick, only to miss a (decent actually) dropkick attempt of his own. Gorilla: “He wouldn’t have hit Sky Low Low with that one!” Well no, as it would have been two feet above Low Low’s head. Think Monsoon.

It’s off to Animal for a double clothesline and knockdown, followed by Animal’s failed slam attempt to put him in trouble again. That lasts all of three seconds as Typhoon comes back in and gets his arm cranked, allowing the tag back to Hawk. A backbreaker cuts Hawk down and Typhoon adds a running crotch attack to the back. The required bearhug goes on before Earthquake steps on Hawk’s ribs.

Another bearhug goes on as Heenan is trying to pay someone to go to the back to get Flair information. This one is broken up just as quickly as the other, leaving Earthquake to miss a splash in the corner. Hawk manages a middle rope elbow to the head and it’s finally off to Animal to pick up the pace. Everything breaks down and they fight to the floor, with only Typhoon beating the count back in for the win at 9:24.

Rating: D+. While it wasn’t good, this is just slightly better than the other tag match and that is what matters here. At the end of the day, the match was about setting up something in the future, even if that didn’t quite happen. The match wasn’t exactly fun to watch, as Earthquake and Typhoon are only going to be able to do so much in the ring. Throw in the LOD being a bit limited in their own right and this was about as good as it was going to get.

Post match the brawl is on and the Disasters are cleared out.

In the back, Jimmy Hart and the Disasters rant a lot.

Roddy Piper is very happy with his win and dedicates it to his son Colt.

After a clip of the famous Barber Shop split, Shawn Michaels doesn’t care that Marty Jannetty is out of the Rumble because Shawn is going to win it anyway.

Ric Flair has drawn #3 and doesn’t care, because he’s Ric Flair.

Randy Savage is ready to get back to the top of the mountain.

Sid Justice is ready to win the Royal Rumble.

Repo Man is ready to repossess the WWF Title.

British Bulldog is ready to win another battle royal, just like he won another one last year at Royal Albert Hall in London.

Jake Roberts is ready to get what he needs and beat up Randy Savage at the same time. Trust him.

Mr. Perfect and Ric Flair are ready for the latter to prove that he is the REAL World’s Champion.

Paul Bearer is ready for 29 caskets as the Undertaker is WWF Champion again.

Hulk Hogan is ready for it to be every man for himself in the Royal Rumble so he can get the title back. Hogan was sounding rather whiny and a bit paranoid here.

Jack Tunney gives us a brief welcome and says may the best man win.

WWF Title: Royal Rumble

For the vacant title (after Hulk Hogan cheated to take it back from Undertaker) with two minute intervals. British Bulldog is in at #1 and Ted DiBiase is in at #2 as Heenan is already calculating odds on Flair’s ring time. Bulldog hammers away but charges into an elbow in the corner. DiBiase grabs some suplexes as Heenan suggests going through the ropes and hiding to kill time.

Bulldog gets thrown over the top but hangs on and runs back in to toss DiBiase, leaving Heenan upset. Ric Flair is in at #3 (Heenan: “NO!” Monsoon: “YES!”), sending Monsoon into a statement about how no one from entrants #1-5 has ever made it to the end. Heenan apologizes for not being able to be objective as Bulldog grabs the gorilla press. Flair gets in a poke to the eye for a breather as Jerry Sags is in at #4.

Bulldog gets double teamed as Heenan wants Flair to go rest in the corner. A double clothesline gets Bulldog out of trouble and there’s a dropkick to get rid of Sags (Heenan: “OH NO!”). Haku is in at #5 and goes after Flair (Heenan: “WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING HAKU??? HAVE YOU GONE NUTS???” You know, because HAKU is most well known for his calm, rational demeanor), who actually takes him down and drops a knee to the head. Bulldog gets rid of Flair and Shawn Michaels is in at #6.

A superkick drops Flair fast (not yet the big time finisher) and another….lands in the general vicinity of Bulldog’s head as Heenan wants a stiff drink. We also start the weird timing as Heenan says Flair has been in over ten minutes despite the match not even going for ten minutes yet. Tito Santana is in at #7 and has Flair upside down in the corner (Heenan: “PERFECT! GET OUT HERE!”).

Flair slips out and gives Santana a belly to back suplex, followed by a low blow to Bulldog (Heenan: “I’d do that to my grandmother if I had to!”). The Barbarian is in at #8 (Heenan: “When I managed him, he barely liked me!”) and everyone brawls around without much going on. The Texas Tornado is in at #9 and goes right after Flair as Heenan is sounding increasingly desperate. Things slow down even more (fair enough) as the Repo Man is in at #10, giving us Bulldog, Flair, Michaels, Santana Barbarian, Tornado and Repo Man.

Barbarian and Flair double team Tornado and it’s Greg Valentine (in his bizarre face run) at #11. Naturally he goes right for Flair as Heenan talks about how the Perfect Plan called for Flair to go no more than 30 minutes. Flair kicks Repo Man low and it’s Nikolai Volkoff (Heenan: “300 pound Lithuanian!”) in at #11. Valentine grabs the Figure Four on Flair (Heenan….well you can just imagine) as Volkoff is tossed out to clear some of the ring. The Big Boss Man is in at #12 to pick up the energy a bit.

There goes Valentine, with Repo Man and Bulldog following him. Tornado is out as well as Heenan is begging Flair to get away from Boss Man. Santana and Michaels are both out and it’s Hercules at #13. Flair chops at Barbarian (Heenan: “NO RIC!”) and gets gorilla pressed for his efforts. Hercules dumps Barbarian (saving Flair in the process) but gets tossed as well. Boss Man clotheslines Flair but misses a charge and gets low bridged out, leaving Flair alone in the ring.

It’s Roddy Piper in at #14 and Heenan is beside himself as Flair is in even bigger trouble. Piper beats him up and takes it to the floor to keep up the beating. Back in and it’s an airplane spin into the sleeper to knock Flair mostly out. Jake Roberts is in at #15 to sit in the corner as the sleeper continues. Roberts goes after Piper (Heenan: “Thank you Jake!”) before hitting the short arm clothesline (Heenan: “You no good….”). Piper makes the save (Heenan: “It’s not a skirt! It’s a kilt!”) and Flair puts the Figure Four on Roberts. That’s broken up by Piper (Heenan: “You no good skirt wearing…..”) and it’s Jim Duggan in at #16.

Even Monsoon is praising Flair’s conditioning at this point as Heenan thinks Hulk Hogan is behind the order of entrants. Duggan punches Flair into the corner as Roberts does the same to Piper. It’s IRS in at #17 and it’s a double noggin knocker from Duggan to Roberts/Flair, giving us a Flair Flop. Jimmy Snuka is in at #18 and he still looks weird in those long tights. Heenan: “He’s wasting time!” Monsoon: “He is not!” Heenan: “I don’t know what I’m saying anymore.”

Piper chops on Flair in the corner but hands him off to Roberts, who can’t get rid of him. The Undertaker is in at #20 and Heenan is….oddly kind of calm about it. That gives us Flair, Piper, Roberts, Duggan, IRS, Snuka and Undertaker, with Snuka being tossed almost immediately. Undertaker grabs Flair by the throat, with Heenan declaring that everything is over. Duggan saves Flair and gets kicked low by Undertaker (that’s a weird visual) as Randy Savage is in at #21, meaning Roberts bails straight to the floor (not out).

Undertaker jumps Savage from behind so Piper comes back in, only to get kneed over the top by Savage. Hold on though as Savage dives over the top to go after Roberts again….but Undertaker throws Savage back inside, apparently because he wasn’t THROWN over the top. Ignore that this goes against previously established rules, but since when has that mattered? Flair stomps on Savage in the corner and hits Undertaker low, the latter of which doesn’t seem to matter.

Berzerker is in at #22 and hammers on various people as Heenan panics at Flair going after Savage. Undertaker and Piper choke Flair until Virgil is in at #23. Flair survives an Undertaker elimination attempt and it’s Colonel Mustafa in at #24. Monsoon refers to Flair as “Martel” twice, even as Duggan punches Flair in the face. Piper beats on Flair in the corner and it’s Rick Martel in at #25.

Heenan thinks some of the bigger names have gotten some great luck in the drawing, again forgetting an announcement on Superstars that some of the bigger names were guaranteed later numbers. Mustafa is out and everyone brawls….until Hulk Hogan is in at #26 (Heenan: “OH MY GOD NO!”). The brawl is on again as Heenan starts bargaining with God to let Heenan win. Hogan gets rid of Undertaker and Berzerker back to back with Virgil and Duggan going out at the same time.

Skinner is in at #27 as Heenan thinks Flair should be the Real World’s Champion no matter what. Sgt. Slaughter is in at #28 as Skinner is out. Hogan and Piper go at it, with Monsoon sounding almost surprised because they’re friends, despite having one of the most famous rivalries in wrestling history. Flair officially sets the all time record as Sid Justice is in at #29 to quite the reaction.

More brawling ensues as Warlord is in at #30, giving us a final grouping of Flair, Piper, IRS, Savage, Martel, Hogan, Slaughter, Sid and Warlord. Hogan slams Flair at the top and they both roll outside (not eliminated) to fight some more outside. Sid dumps Slaughter as Monsoon can’t believe that Flair is still here. Granted he also thinks Flair has been here for an hour when we’re still coming up on an hour into the match.

Piper pulls IRS out by the tie and Sid dumps Warlord to get us down to six. Sid gets rid of Martel and Piper, leaving us with Savage, Sid, Hogan and Flair, which makes me want to play Super Wrestlemania. There goes Savage as well, leaving Hogan to punch Flair over the top. Hogan goes to dump him but Sid tosses Hogan instead. Ever the nice guy, Hogan grabs Sid’s arm because “you stole my belt”, allowing Flair to dump Sid (with Hogan’s help) for the win and the title at 1:02:02. Heenan: “YESx50!”

Rating: A. Yes it’s still great and it still works as well as probably any Rumble would for almost ten more years. Flair has a great performance in setting the record and never once seeming like he was laying around for any extended period of time. You also have a star studded lineup with all kinds of people feeling like dark horse candidates, meaning there was little down time. Then of course there’s Heenan, who has the call of a lifetime as you can picture him losing his mind at everything falling apart. Monsoon laughing at Heenan when Flair comes out early but then respecting Flair by the end is great too, making this a masterpiece.

Post match Hogan and Sid bicker a lot, setting up Wrestlemania. I remember watching this at around four years old and wondering why Hogan was upset when he was eliminated without breaking any rules. There was no reason for him to be angry over this and he was just whining.

In the back, Jack Tunney presents Ric Flair with the title, allowing Flair to give the incredible “with a tear in my eye” speech, talking about how this is the title that matters the most in the world. Flair, Perfect and Heenan all WOO in celebration. Perfect: “We’re not the kind of guys to say we told you so but….we told you so!” After Flair cracks up at that one (and Gene gets in the infamous “PUT THAT CIGARETTE OUT!”), Gene signs off and sends us to the highlight package to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. This is a weird show as the main event is the ONLY thing that matters (though the Piper title win was a very nice moment) and everything else is pretty minor. The problem is one of those two matches is horrible and another is pretty bad, bringing the overall rating down a bit. That being said, this is the definition of a one match show and there is little reason to watch anything but the Intercontinental Title match and the main event. One is a feel good moment and the other is an all time classic, so we’ll call this quite the success.

WWF, 2022, 1992, Redo, Royal Rumble, New Foundation, Orient Express, Mountie, Roddy Piper, Jimmy Hart, Hulk Hogan, Bushwhackers, Beverly Brothers, Jamison, The Genius, Natural Disasters, Legion Of Doom, Ric Flair, Hulk Hogan, Sid Justice, Randy Savage, Undertaker

Ratings Comparison

New Foundation vs. Orient Express

Original: C+
2013 Redo: B-
2018 Redo: C
2023 Redo: C+

The Mountie vs. Roddy Piper

Original: B
2013 Redo: D
2018 Redo: D
2023 Redo: D+

Beverly Brothers vs. Bushwhackers

Original: F+
2013 Redo: T (The Worst Match In Royal Rumble History)
2018 Redo: F
2023 Redo: D-

Legion of Doom vs. Natural Disasters

Original: D
2013 Redo: D
2018 Redo: D
2023 Redo: D+

Royal Rumble

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A
2018 Redo: A-
2023 Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: B
2013 Redo: B
2018 Redo: B
2023 Redo: A-

I’m pretty much done with this show after this one, though it’s still rather great.




Royal Rumble Count-Up: 2013 Redo – 1989: The First Modern Rumble

Royal Rumble 1989
Date: January 15, 1989
Location: The Summit, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 19,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura

Dino Bravo/Fabulous Rougeaus vs. Jim Duggan/Hart Foundation

Slick says the Twin Towers (Boss Man and Akeem) are probably winners of the Rumble but denies knowing anything about shenanigans with DiBiase. Sean Mooney has footage (the original Vickie Guerrer) of Slick and DiBiase together and suddenly Slick realizes he misunderstood Mooney the first time. He has no comment though.

Rude runs his mouth a bit about beating Warrior. This must be intermission.

Jesse is sitting on the throne that will go to either Haku or Race. He thinks he might just run for King because the chair is comfortable.

King Haku vs. Harley Race

Time for more Rumble promos, with Beefcake, Greg Valentine (both of whom say they just need their fists), the Powers of Pain (Fuji does the talking for them), Big John Studd (freshly back in the company), Mr. Perfect (pretty new at this point) and Savage (insane of course).

DiBiase is much happier about his number now.

Hogan gives his usual promo with the focus on Boss Man and Akeem this time.

Royal Rumble

Warlord is #20 and Hogan clotheslines both Busters out at the same time. Warlord poses on the apron, gets in, and is clotheslined out in 2 seconds flat, setting a record that would last 20 years. Hogan also dumps Bad News, but it takes out Savage in the process which adds even more fuel to the Mega Powers Exploding in less than a month. Liz comes in to play peacemaker and the Powers shake hands.

A cross body is caught and Akeem dumps Martel to get us down to Studd, Akeem and DiBiase. Akeem pounds on Studd as DiBiase gives instructions. Studd pulls Ted in front of a splash and dumps Akeem to get us down to two. DiBiase offers money but Studd shakes a finger at him. Studd actually fires off some suplexes to the shock of Monsoon. The elimination is academic and Studd wins.

Jesse and Gorilla wrap things up.

Ratings Comparison

Jim Duggan/Hart Foundation vs. Dino Bravo/Fabulous Rougeaus

Original: C+

Redo: C

Original: C-

Redo: D

King Haku vs. Harley Race

Original: C

Redo: D+

Royal Rumble

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D+

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/08/royal-rumble-count-up-1989/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Royal Rumble Count-Up: 2013 Redo – 1988: How’s This For A Free TV Match?

Royal Rumble 1988
Date: January 24, 1988
Location: Copps Coliseum, Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 18,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura

Rick Rude vs. Ricky Steamboat

We start with Kai vs. Yamazaki (the one in pink. Got it) and a knee to the back from Martin gives the Girls control. Yamazaki Matrixes out of a cover and rolls Kai up for two. Off to Tateno for a kind of suplex out of a piledriver position for one. Jesse asks Vince the names of the Bomb Angels and Vince has NO idea. He suggests calling them pink and red. Yamazaki tries a cross body but it literally bounces off the shall we say rotund Martin.

We recap Hogan vs. Andre at Wrestlemania by getting the opening minute or so which saw Hogan trying the slam and Andre getting a “controversial” two count. Andre wants a rematch and has been sold to DiBiase, who wants to buy the world title. Andre showed how evil he was by attacking Hogan on SNME and easily choking him down, setting up the rematch in about two weeks and a match which drew an INSANE 15 rating on LIVE national TV on NBC. Today Vince would lose his mind at a 5 on cable, so this was unthinkable back then.

Royal Rumble

Gang dumps Blair and Roberts in about ten seconds, which is the best thing that could happen in this match. The Junkyard Dog is #20, giving us a final group of Davis, Volkoff, Muraco, Bass, Hillbilly Jim, Dino Bravo, Ultimate Warrior, Gang, Duggan and Dog. Hillbilly and Gang hammer on each other as Duggan puts Volkoff out. Gang tosses Hillbilly as Bravo and Davis double team Duggan. This ends badly for Davis as Duggan dumps him to a BIG pop.

Jim gets double teamed for awhile and Bravo drops an elbow on him. The same clothesline sequence the heels tried earlier backfires and Bravo gets clotheslined out. Duggan pounds on Gang in a Mid-South reunion but a single shot from Gang takes him down. Gang beats on him next to the ropes, so Duggan low bridges him to win the first Royal Rumble.

We recap (see? It even happened back then) the contract signing from earlier tonight.

Islanders vs. Young Stallions

Jesse and Vince chat a bit about what we saw to end the show.

Ratings Comparison

Ricky Steamboat vs. Rick Rude

Original: C+

Redo: C

Jumping Bomb Angels vs. Glamour Girls

Original: B-

Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: C-

Redo: C+

Islanders vs. Young Stallions

Original: C-

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: C+

Redo: C+

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/08/royal-rumble-count-up-1988/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Pick A Royal Rumble For Me To Redo

It’s that time again. The Royal Rumble is in about five weeks so it’s time for me to redo some of them. As usual I’ll be redoing the most recent, but I’d like you all to pick the other redo. You can pick any in history except for the ones listed below, which I’ve either done too recently or too often:

1992

2000

2008

2022

Vote in the comments, with the count-up starting on December 22.

KB




Royal Rumble 2023: He’s Gone And Done It Now

Royal Rumble 2023
Date: January 28, 2023
Location: Alamodome, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Pat McAfee

It’s time to get on the Road To Wrestlemania and that means we should be in for a big night. There are two Royal Rumbles, but the real main event is probably Roman Reigns defending the World Title against Kevin Owens. The interesting piece there is not in the result, but in what Sami Zayn is going to do. That should make for a heck of a show so let’s get to it.

Hardy (a musician) talks about the opportunity and how you kick down a door in front of you.

Pat McAfee is back to join commentary and Graves is livid.

Men’s Royal Rumble

90 second intervals and Gunther is in at #1 and Sheamus is in at #2. They slug it out hard to start with Gunther not being able to throw him out. The Irish Curse slows Gunther down but it’s too early to toss him out as well. Sheamus takes him into the corner and the Miz is in at #3. Miz annoys Sheamus before he can get in though and the chase is on, allowing Gunther to chop Miz down. Sheamus and Gunther take turns missing each other but hitting Miz by mistake.

Kofi Kingston is in at #4 and hits a Boom Drop on Gunther and Sheamus as Johnny Gargano is in at #5. Miz can’t toss Gargano out so it’s One Final Beat to cut Miz down instead. Sheamus hits the forearms to Miz on the apron and the Brogue Kick gets rid of him. Gunther can’t get rid of Sheamus and it’s Xavier Woods in at #6. New Day gets to clean house for a bit before stopping for a dance (spanking is involved). Everyone else gets back up and it’s Karrion Kross in at #7.

Kross, Gunther and Sheamus get to beat on each other with the heavy shots until Chad Gable is in at #8. Suplexes and shooshing abound but Woods actually takes Gable down in a wrestle off. Drew McIntyre is in at #9 and drops everyone before kicking Kross in the face for the elimination. Gunther and McIntyre have the showdown and it’s time to chop it out. Santos Escobar is in at #10, giving us Gunther, Sheamus, Kingston, Gargano, Woods, Gable, McIntyre and Escobar.

A quick trip to the apron has Escobar in early trouble but he kicks Sheamus in the head. Escobar dives back in to drop Gable but Gargano catches him on top. The super Phantom Driver hits Gargano and it’s Angelo Dawkins in at #11. Dawkins gets to clean house and Gunther kicks Woods out. Kingston hits his standing double stomp on Escobar but Gunther knocks him off the apron and into a well placed chair. That was a NASTY crash but one foot is still on the chair.

Brock Lesnar is in at #12 though so none of that might matter. Most of the people in the ring stops for Lesnar and it’s time for Suplex City on a bunch of people. Escobar, Dawkins and Gable are all out….and it’s Gunther vs. Lesnar. They stare each other down and it’s Bobby Lashley in at #13. Lashley spears Lesnar down and hits McIntyre with another one. There’s one for Sheamus as well and Lashley gets rid of Lesnar. That’s not cool with Lesnar, who throws in part of the announcers’ table.

Baron Corbin is in at #14 as Lesnar throws some steps around. Lesnar runs Corbin over before he can get in and wrecks various other things at ringside. Seth Rollins is in at #15 as it seems Kingston is gone (not confirmed though). Rollins takes forever to get in and throws Corbin inside. A superkick and clothesline get rid of Corbin and Rollins slugs it out with Sheamus.

Otis is in at #16 and World’s Strongest Slams McIntyre. Rey Mysterio is in at #17….or at least he is supposed to be as he doesn’t show up. Rollins dumps Lashley and there’s the Caterpillar to Gunther. Dominik Mysterio, in a Rey mask, is in at #18. Otis is eliminated during Dominik’s entrance as commentary suggests that Dominik jumped Rey and took his mask. Dominik stays outside for warmups before coming in for some worthless shots to Sheamus.

Elias is in at #19 and guitars Gunther but McIntyre and Sheamus give him stereo kicks to the face (OUCH). That’s it for Elias and Finn Balor is in at #20, giving us Gunther, Sheamus, Gargano, McIntyre, Rollins, Rey Mysterio (yet to be seen), Dominik Mysterio, and Balor. Sheamus won’t let Balor go after McIntyre and gets dropped for his efforts. Dominik saves Balor from being dumped by Gargano and Balor kicks Gargano in the head. That’s it for Gargano, leaving us with Judgment Day gs. Sheamus/McIntyre. Booker T. of all people is in at #21 and it’s a Book End into a Spinarooni.

Gunther tosses Booker without much trouble and it’s Damian Priest in at #22 to complete Judgment Day. Brawling ensues and it’s Montez Ford (dressed like a boxer) in at #23. Ford sends Dominik to the apron but can’t get rid of him. Instead Balor sends Ford over the top but some cat skinning is good for the save. Priest chokeslams Ford out without much trouble though and it’s Edge in at #24.

Spears abound to Judgment Day and Edge tosses Priest and Balor. We get the Edge vs. Rollins staredown but Dominik interrupts, allowing the rest of Judgment Day to pull Edge out. Austin Theory is in at #25 as Edge chases Balor up the aisle. Edge beats up Priest at the entrance but Rhea Ripley jumps Edge. Cue Beth Phoenix to go after Ripley though and I think we have a mixed tag set for Elimination Chamber. We get back to the match with Theory taking down Rollins and hammering on McIntyre.

Omos is in at #26 and side slams Theory before getting chopped by Gunther. A chokeslam drops Gunther and it’s Braun Strowman in at #27. The Omos vs. Strowman staredown is on and they hit each other in the face a few times. Strowman’s right hand just annoys Omos but a running clothesline gets rid of him. Strowman beats up various humans and it’s Ricochet in at #28.

Sheamus and McIntyre go after Strowman and get him to the apron but can’t get him out. Sheamus saves McIntyre from an elimination and slugs it out with Gunther again. With Sheamus on the apron, McIntyre helps him again but Gunther puts both of them out. Logan Paul returns at #29 and everyone goes after him.

Paul gets back up and hits a Buckshot Lariat on Ricochet but Gunther sends him to the apron. That’s broken up and it’s Paul vs. Strowman for a bizarre staredown. Strowman and Ricochet beat up Paul and send him through the ropes to the apron as Cody Rhodes is in at #30. That gives us a final grouping of Gunther, Rollins, Theory, Strowman, Ricochet, Paul, Dominik and Cody. After taking his time with the entrance, Cody hits a Cody Cutter on Theory.

Dominik tries Three Amigos on Cody but gets caught with the Cross Rhodes. That’s it for Dominik but Strowman Monsterbombs Cody. The Last Symphony hits Strowman but Ricochet hits Gunther with a standing Sliced Bread. Ricochet and Paul land on the apron and springboard at each other, colliding in the air for one of the coolest spots you’ll see in a long time. Cole says there are seven left, meaning Rey is officially not in. Cody gets rid of Strowman and Theory dumps Ricochet to get us down to four, as Paul apparently evaporated somewhere.

Cody clotheslines Theory out, leaving us with Cody, Gunther and Theory. Rollins and Cody team up on Gunther and they both hit Pedigrees. With Gunther down (not out), Cody and Rollins slug it out but Paul comes back in toss Rollins. So we’re officially down to Gunther, Cody and Paul, the latter of whom gets in the Wrestlemania sign point. The big right hand is countered into Cross Rhodes and Paul is gone, leaving us with Cody vs. Gunther.

Cody flips away from Gunther but gets chopped in the corner. With the Wrestlemania sign over them, Gunther gets sent to the apron but blocks the Disaster Kick to get back in. They both go on top with Gunther getting Cody to the apron and stomping as well as he can. A butterfly superplex brings Cody back in but the Cody Cutter drops Gunther again. Gunther gets back in from the apron and Shattered Dreams makes it worse.

Somehow Gunther manages the running dropkick though and there’s the powerbomb to drop Cody again. Cody is sent to the apron but hangs on and they chop it out. The sleeper goes on with Cody still on the apron but he tries to pull Gunther over. Gunther is smart enough to let him go and chop Cody back inside. Cody pulls him into Cross Rhodes though and Gunther is out to give Cody the win at 1:11:25.

Rating: A-. Now THAT is how you do a Royal Rumble, as they kept this filled with star power and kept it moving throughout. You had mini feuds and stories throughout the match and then the last ten minutes had some actual drama. Cody was the big favorite to win throughout but what matters here is they showed they know how to do a Royal Rumble. It was an excellent performance throughout with only a few down spots. Cody gets the win but this was an absolute star making performance for Gunther too. Awesome match and one of the better Rumbles of all time.

We recap the Mountain Drew Pitch Black match. Bray Wyatt returned and LA Knight doesn’t think too much of him. They have attacked each other, but now it’s time for Bray’s first match back after returning a few months ago. No one knows the rules, but you win by pinfall or submission.

LA Knight vs. Bray Wyatt

Pitch Black match meaning….the lights are going to be all neon, including Knight’s gear. Wyatt, all covered in paint, starts fast and choke throws Knight. They head outside with Bray loading up the announcers’ table (and knocking around all of the light up neon stuff). Knight fights out of a suplex and hits a clothesline to drive them through the table. A kendo stick shot just wakes Wyatt up though and it’s Sister Abigail to give Wyatt the pin at 5:03.

Rating: D+. Yes it was stupid and yes it was WWE getting a nice check, but it was five minutes and Wyatt gets his feet wet with a win now that he is back. That’s about all you can ask for out of something like this so I’ll take what I can get. Wyatt going too far is always a danger and thankfully they mostly avoided it here.

Post match Wyatt puts on a new mask and stalks Knight, whose kendo stick shots have no effect. They fight to the tech area and Wyatt cuts him down with the Mandible Claw. Uncle Howdy pops up on a balcony above the stand and dives down onto Knight, meaning it’s time for a bunch of explosions and fire. The Firefly Fun House characters pop up above the platform too and look down on Knight.

Tonight’s attendance: 51,338.

Raw Women’s Title: Alexa Bliss vs. Bianca Belair

Belair is defending and hammers on Bliss in the corner. Bliss pulls her out of said corner and hits a dropkick to the ribs. Some kicks to the ribs have Belair in more trouble and we hit the chinlock. Belair powers that up and snaps off a suplex before pounding down forearms in the corner.

The handspring splash hits knees but Belair is fine enough to hit a faceplant. Now the handspring moonsault can connect for two but Belair can’t quite powerbomb her. Instead Bliss grabs a DDT for two and a backsplash gets the same. Back up and Belair hits a quick KOD to retain at 7:02.

Rating: C-. Not much to see here as Belair runs down someone else. I’m not sure what is coming for her at Wrestlemania but she almost has to lose at some point. There is nothing left for her to do on Raw save for maybe losing to Rhea Ripley, which very well may come in Los Angeles in a few months.

Post match we see a playground and visions of Uncle Howdy, as Bliss sees various images from her past. What in the world does the writer of this story have on WWE? They’ve been at this for years now and I still don’t get the appeal.

Women’s Royal Rumble

90 second intervals and Rhea Ripley (favoring her ribs from earlier) is in at #1 with Liv Morgan in at #2. Liv knocks her into the corner to start and gets in a few shots, only to get pulled out of the air. Ripley muscles her up for a suplex and Dana Brooks is in at #3. Brooke dropkicks them out of the air and knocks Ripley around a bit before going up top with Morgan. A superplex brings Morgan back down and it’s Emma in at #4. Emma cleans some house, including a neckbreaker over the middle rope to Ripley.

Shayna Baszler is in at #5 and goes after Ripley’s arm before ankle locking Liv. Baszler stomps on Dana’s arm and Bayley is in at #6. Liv grabs Oblivion on Bayley before she can get in but Bayley saves herself on the apron. Bayley fights back on Liv and B Fab is in at #7…and is the first one out at Ripley’s hands. NXT Women’s Champion Roxanne Perez is in at #8 and snaps off a headscissors to Ripley. As Perez gets to clean house, Dakota Kai is in at #9. Damage Ctrl takes too long to pose and get jumped by Liv and Dana.

Iyo Sky is in at #10 to complete Damage Ctrl, giving us Ripley, Morgan, Brooke, Emma, Baszler, Bayley, Perez, Kai and Sky. Morgan and Brooke get springboard missile dropkicked down before Brooke and Emma are tossed. Perez goes after Bayley but a hard dropkick from Sky puts Perez out. Natalya returns at #11 and goes after Baszler, who put her on the shelf. Candice LeRae is in at #12 and gets knocked into the corner by Baszler. We get the Natalya vs. Baszler showdown with Natalya snapping off a German suplex. They fight to the apron with Damage Ctrl eliminating both of them.

Zoey Stark from NXT is in at #13 and gets to kick a bunch of people. A kick to Ripley staggers her a bit and it’s Xia Li in at #14. Li gets to fire off a bunch of kicks of her own as Damage Ctrl gets rid of LeRae. Becky Lynch is in at #15 and this should clear out the ring a bit. Lynch unloads on Bayley and they fight to the floor (not out) with the rest of Damage Ctrl going after them. The trio takes out Becky and sends her over the announcers’ table but no one is eliminated.

Tegan Nox is in at #16 and helps Liv beat up Stark. Asuka is in at #17 (in long tights, with what looks like tiger/clown face paint and short hair, which might be her old Kana persona) and cleans house before starring Bayley down. Bayley gets scared and Asuka kicks Nox out. Piper Niven (yes Piper Niven, not Doudrop) is in at #18 and gets to clean house. Splashes abound and Tamina is in at #19.

Tamina goes after Doudrop, with commentary saying they have been dreaming of this showdown. No, no you haven’t you liars. Everyone else breaks it up and Becky is back in to start hitting people. Chelsea Green returns at #20, giving us Ripley, Morgan, Bayley, Kai, Sky, Stark, Li, Lynch, Asuka, Niven, Tamina and Green. Speaking of Green, Ripley tosses her in 5 seconds. Lynch gets rid of Kai and Sky back to back but Bayley dumps Lynch as well. Morgan gets rid of Bayley and Damage Ctrl brawls with her to the back.

Zelina Vega is in at #21 and is dressed as a character from Street Fighter 6, which she will be in as a character. Doudrop takes Vega to the apron, where Li and Vega strike it out. Li gets knocked to the floor and a middle rope Codebreaker hits Niven. Raquel Rodriguez is in at #22 and runs people over, including a fall away slam to Stark. Mia Yim is in at #23 with a tornado DDT to Stark and Lacey Evans is in at #24.

House is cleaned again and Michelle McCool, coming out of the front row, is in at #25. Tamina is out and Indi Hartwell from NXT is in at #26. Not much happens until Sonya Deville is in at #27. Yim hits Stark with Eat Defeat and Deville gets rid of her. Evans Cobra Clutches Vega to choke her out and send her hard to the floor for the elimination. Shotzi is in at #28 and has to save herself from a fast elimination. Deville gets rid of Hartwell and Nikki Cross is in at #29.

Cross forearms just about everyone….and Nix Jax is back at #30. The final grouping is Ripley, Morgan, Asuka, Niven, Rodriguez, Yim, Evans, McCool, Deville, Shotzi, Cross and Jax. Everyone surrounds Jax but she shrugs them off, setting up the showdown with Rodriguez. Jax drops Rodriguez and Morgan but a bunch of people go after her, with Ripley not being able to slam her. A horrible Riptide (fair enough) plants Jax and everyone gives her the giant treatment for the elimination.

Rodriguez knocks Evans out but gets caught in Asuka’s armbar. Asuka and Deville go to the apron with the latter being kicked out. McCool is out, with Shotzi and Yim following her. We’re down to Ripley, Morgan, Asuka, Niven, Rodriguez and Cross, with Niven getting to clean some house. Rodriguez kicks Niven out though and picks Ripley up for the trip to the apron. Ripley kicks Rodriguez out and Morgan gets rid of Cross. That leaves us with Ripley, Morgan and Cross so we reset a bit.

Morgan gets tossed into a Codebreaker on Asuka and manages to put Ripley on the apron. Ripley pulls Morgan out to the apron with her and kicks her down but not out. Asuka’s hip attack is blocked and all three of them wind up on the apron. Asuka mists Morgan and gets kicked out, leaving Morgan and Ripley. Morgan kicks the feet out so Ripley is hanging on by her hands but a headscissors drops Morgan to give Ripley the win at 1:01:07.

Rating: C. Well, the important thing is it cleared last year’s bar by about a mile. Having the NXT women in there helped a lot as there was no reason to not have them in there before. Other than that, they went with what mattered the most, as the idea was to have Ripley get the big win to move back into the main event scene. Ripley has been ready for the next big title run and this should set her up for that rather well. They had some dead spots in here but I’ll take some NXT surprises and a few returns (not Jax, never her) over the same legends every year. Not a great Rumble, but a passable enough one.

Hardy performs the show’s theme song, with commentary basically ignoring him.

We recap Roman Reigns vs. Kevin Owens for the World Title. This is all about finding out which side Sami Zayn is on, even if there is nothing to really suggest that he is anything but loyal to the Bloodline.

Undisputed WWE Universal Title: Roman Reigns vs. Kevin Owens

Reigns, with Paul Heyman and Sami Zayn, is defending. They take their time to start with neither going very far. Owens knocks him to the floor though and takes over early, including a backsplash to crush Reigns. Back in and Owens gets whipped hard into the corner, allowing Reigns to hit the jumping apron kick for two. Reigns grabs the chinlock before firing off the corner clotheslines.

Owens hits his own running clothesline for a breather before another one sends Reigns outside. The apron Bullfrog splash connects and the real version gets two back inside. Owens takes too long to follow up though and it’s a sitout powerbomb to give Reigns two. The Superman Punch is countered into a German suplex for two on Owens, only to have the Superman Punch connect to give Reigns a near fall of his own. The spear goes into the post though and Owens nails a superkick.

Owens hits the Swanton for two but gets caught on top. Some elbows knock Reigns down and Owens tries a jumping spinning moonsault but crashes down instead. Back up and Owens tries a more traditional moonsault, which misses anyway. The spear connects for two but the referee gets bumped. The Pop Up Powerbomb hits Reigns but there is no one to count. Reigns hits him low and tells Owens to grab a chair. Sami: “You told me not to do anything!”

Sami goes looking and finally finds one but takes a second to slide it in. The Stunner connects for two on Reigns, who comes back with the spear for the same. Owens bails to the floor and lands in front of Sami. Zayn tells him to stay down but Reigns hits another spear to send Owens through the barricade.

Back in and….Owens rolls outside again. This time Reigns sends the back of Owens’ head into the steps (OUCH) and then does it again. Reigns throws what used to be Owens back inside, with Heyman acknowledging Reigns as Zayn is looking worried. Some slaps to the face wake Owens up…and another spear cuts him down to retain the title at 19:14.

Rating: B-. The ending was about as obvious as you could get, but the question was what Sami would do. In this case that would pretty much be nothing, though you can all but guarantee something is coming before the end of the show. For now though, Owens gets to be the latest designated victim as we get closer to Reigns vs. Cody Rhodes at Wrestlemania. Not a great match, but that was never really the point.

Post match Jey goes to give Sami his own lei but Reigns says hang on a second. The big beatdown is on Owens, with a chair being wrapped around his neck in the corner. Solo Sikoa hits the running Umaga Attack as commentary wants someone to do something about this. Reigns busted out the handcuffs as Sami is looking more and more uncomfortable. Owens is cuffed to the rope so the Usos can superkick him over and over.

The fans chant for Sami as Reigns picks up the chair. Reigns talks a lot but Sami FINALLY gets in front of him before the swing. Sami says Owens is done and this is beneath Reigns. Instead, Reigns hands Zayn the chair, but Zayn doesn’t want it. Zayn finally takes it, with Reigns telling him about how Owens has held him down since day one(ish). Zayn loads up the chair and…..pauses, until Reigns hits him in the face.

They go nose to nose with Reigns saying this is his whole life. Zayn nods….and blasts Reigns in the back with the chair to a MONSTER reaction. Jimmy and Sikoa are livid and kick Zayn down as Reigns sits up and looks crushed. Jey Uso looks at Zayn but doesn’t beat on him as he is told to, instead walking up the ramp and looking upset.

Reigns unloads on Sami with the chair (Fans: “F*** YOU ROMAN!”) and rips up the lei before leaving Sami laying. I know Cody is the #1 contender and all that, but with that segment and that reaction, they better have something huge for Sami between now and Wrestlemania or Cody is going to be sacrificed to the wrestling gods in Los Angeles. That segment, especially that reaction, was an all timer and there is nothing that is topping it for a long time in WWE.

Overall Rating: B. This is a bit of a weird Royal Rumble as the show is normally built around the Royal Rumbles. In this case though, you have an awesome men’s Rumble, an ok women’s Rumble and an incredible post main event angle. That Zayn/Bloodline segment is more than enough to boost this up a bit and tied together with an all time men’s Rumble, the rest of the show is good enough. The Wyatt and Belair matches weren’t great, but they clocked in at a combined 12:05 (call it 20 for the post Wyatt match stuff) out of a four hour and twenty minute show. This show worked and the Road To Wrestlemania could be great.

Results
Cody Rhodes won the Men’s Royal Rumble last eliminating Gunther
Bray Wyatt b. LA Knight – Sister Abigail
Bianca Belair b. Alexa Bliss – KOD
Rhea Ripley won the Women’s Royal Rumble last eliminating Liv Morgan
Roman Reigns b. Kevin Owens – Spear

 

 

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Royal Rumble 2023 Preview

It’s that time of year again as we are beginning the Road To Wrestlemania. That means we are going to be seeing some of the biggest shows of the year and things are about to get a lot more exciting. WWE has done a nice job setting up the Royal Rumble matches this year as there are a lot of open spots remaining, though the men’s match is more or less a two horse race. Let’s get to it.

Bray Wyatt vs. LA Knight

Let’s get the goofy out of the way first. This is the Pitch Black match, which is a product placement match from Mountain Dew. WWE still hasn’t exactly explained what it’s going to be, but knowing Wyatt’s involvement, things are going to get more than a little strange. By strange I mean ridiculous, but it’s a new Wyatt so I’m trying to hold on to false hope for as long as I can.

Of course Wyatt wins here, as there is zero reason to have Knight beat him in his first match. Save or some Uncle Howdy shenanigans, I can’t imagine there being any reason to think that Wyatt is in any danger here, though it is nice to see Knight putting in the work to make the match feel more important. This is Wyatt’s to win and I can’t imagine anything else, so hopefully they keep the goofiness to a minimum.

Raw Women’s Title: Bianca Belair(c) vs. Alexa Bliss

As much of a layup as this seems to be, this one has me wondering about where it is going. Belair has nothing left to prove on Monday Night Raw and shifting her over to the Smackdown Women’s Title picture could be a good change of pace. At the same time, if Bliss is doing nothing more than being weird all the time without any actual success, it is going to get old fast.

I’m not certain on it, but I’m taking the title change here, as I think Belair moves over to do something else. Becky Lynch or even Bayley can take the title from Bliss soon enough, but Belair is very, very firmly established as a top star and she needs a new challenge. At the same time, Bliss needs a win to reestablish herself and I’ll go out on a limb and say she gets that win here.

Undisputed WWE Universal Title: Roman Reigns(c) vs. Kevin Owens

The fact that Reigns is still on the same reign from when he defended against Owens TWO YEARS AGO at this same event tells you a lot about what he is doing. As has been the case with a lot of stuff lately, this is going to be much more about Sami Zayn than anyone in the match. Reigns has basically made this match Zayn’s final Bloodline exam and it begs the question of what is going to happen.

I’ll go with Reigns retaining, but I think we get the big stuff after the match. Once Reigns keeps the title, Zayn does something like refusing to help destroy Owens, turning face in the process. For the life of me, I can’t imagine anything but Zayn challenging Reigns for the title next month in Montreal, which would basically be Zayn’s Wrestlemania. Reigns isn’t losing the title here, but it’s going to be a big turning point in the Bloodline saga.

Men’s Royal Rumble

Let’s get the obvious out of the way right now. You can have your Brock Lesnar, your Bobby Lashley, your Seth Rollins and your Drew McIntyre. This match is 100% Cody Rhodes’ match to win with Sami Zayn being the only other person on the planet as a dark horse. Unless WWE has a monster surprise waiting on us here (and there are 11 spots open as of the end of Smackdown), this one should be pretty much in the bag.

Naturally I’m taking Rhodes, as I can’t picture a reason not to. I’m still not sure if Rhodes is THE guy to do all of this stuff, but if WWE has picked him to do it, then that’s better than slapping something together at the last second. As for a surprise pick, I still think there is a chance Randy Orton is back here, though he would almost have to win if he is back in this kind of spot. It’s going to be the Rhodes Show though, and while I don’t quite like it, I certainly get the idea.

Women’s Royal Rumble

Then we have this one and as sure as I was on the men’s, I’m completely in the dark here. There are several ways you could go for a winner and the fact that we only known twelve entrants makes it all the more confusing. Bayley and Becky Lynch are both possibilities, even if Lynch has yet to be announced for the match. I’d also call Raquel Rodriguez the darkest of dark horses, but if they wanted to pull the trigger on someone (even if they aren’t ready yet), Rodriguez is an option.

That being said, I’ll go with Rhea Ripley, who has yet to have her big moment. Her title reign was completely overshadowed by Charlotte and since then she has grown into a much bigger (and better) star. Ripley fits all of the criteria here and could be primed for a heck of a title match at Wrestlemania, say against a bit of a lame duck champion Becky Lynch. It should be Ripley this year, but I’m far from confident on this one.

Overall Thoughts

Even though the Sword Of McMahon continues to hang over our heads, there is a lot of potential with this show. If nothing else, I love not knowing who is scheduled for the Royal Rumbles and there is a good chance that we could be in for some awesome surprises. Just the fact that I can be excited for this show again is nice, and while it might go away as soon as McMahon changes his mind (again), I’ll take it for one night.

 

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Royal Rumble 2014 (2015 Redo): Do They Have Your Attention Now?

Royal Rumble 2014
Date: January 26, 2014
Location: Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

Pre-Show: Tag Team Titles: Goldust/Cody Rhodes vs. New Age Outlaws

The Outlaws reunited as a nostalgia act and pinned the champs to earn this shot. Dogg and Cody get things going with Dogg hammering away, only to miss his Shake Rattle and Roll punch. Cody misses the Disaster Kick but sends both Outlaws to the floor. The champs hit dives on the Outlaws as we take a break. Back with Goldust in trouble as Dogg puts on a chinlock.

Rating: C. This was fine for an opener and the fans were into the nostalgia. The Outlaws were only transitional champions anyway as the Usos would get the belts before Wrestlemania. Cody and Goldust had them back before the year was over too so no one was really hurt by this.

Daniel Bryan vs. Bray Wyatt

Bray huddles with his Family on the floor, allowing Daniel to take him down with a plancha. Back in and a high cross body gets two on Wyatt but he chops Daniel off the middle rope and out to the floor. Bray charges at Daniel but drives the bad knee into the steps to put him back down again. Back in and Daniel starts kicking at the leg before snapping off a dragon screw leg whip. A modified curb stomp gets two for Bryan but Bray drives him back into the corner.

Some kicks stagger Bray and a drop toehold sends him into the middle buckle. Daniel kicks away in the corner and nails a top rope hurricanrana for two. Another running clothesline is countered by a running elbow to the chest as Bray takes over again. Bryan low bridges him to the floor and hits a running tornado DDT off the apron. A running dropkick sends Bray into the barricade and a missile dropkick puts Wyatt down in the ring.

The YES Kicks get two but Bray turns him inside out with a clothesline for two. Sister Abigail is countered but Bray bites his way out of the YES Lock. Daniel scores with more kicks and hits a top rope splash but Bray ducks to the floor to avoid the running knee. The Flying Goat is blocked though and Bray hits Sister Abigail into the barricade to knock Bryan silly. Back in and another Sister Abigail is good for the pin.

Paul Heyman says Brock Lesnar is going to challenge the winner of Orton vs. Cena for the World Title. However, first he has to make an example out of Big Show.

Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger is here.

Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

These two have had a feud for years and this time Big Show has been getting the better of it through pure power. Lesnar takes Show down before the bell and pounds on him with fists and then a chair. As Big Show is down, Lawler says Big Show gave Lesnar his first loss at the 2002 Royal Rumble, which would be three months before Lesnar debuted. We get the opening bell with Lesnar getting another chair but Show nails him with the KO Punch. Lesnar is rocked and Show takes him outside for a whip into the barricade. Back in and Big Show loads up another KO but Lesnar ducks and throws him up for the F5 for the easy pin.

WWE World Title: Randy Orton vs. John Cena

No countout and no DQ with Orton defending.. The fans loudly chant for Daniel Bryan before and after the bell. They hit the mat and the fans are already bored less than twenty seconds in. Cena fights up and gets two off a bulldog but charges into an elbow in the corner. Now a Randy Savage chant starts up and Orton stops for a second before kicking Cena even more.

The fans chant for Bryan as the Wyatts destroy Cena even more.

Tribute video to the recently passed away Mae Young.

We get some classic Rumble promos.

The Usos are cool with having to fight each other.

Batista just says exactly.

Ryback says there are 29 superstars and one Human Wrecking Ball.

Mysterio will shock the world again.

The expert panel makes their picks. Duggan likes Ziggler, Shawn goes with Shield or Punk and Flair takes Batista.

Royal Rumble

90 second intervals with Punk at #1 (as ordered by Kane) and Seth Rollins at #2. Punk takes him into the corner to start for some shoulders to the ribs. Some kicks stagger Rollins but he comes back with a big kick of his own. A clothesline drops Rollins again but he pops back up with an enziguri. Both guys are down as Damien Sandow is in at #3. The fans loudly chant for Punk as he DDTs Sandow and drops Rollins with a neckbreaker at the same time.

Kevin Nash makes a required return at #14. He eliminates Swagger with ease and goes after Ambrose and Rollins. Punk has Ziggler dangling but Dolph gets his feet back in. Roman Reigns completes the Shield at #15, giving us Punk, Rollins, Rhodes, Kingston, Goldust, Ambrose, Ziggler, Nash and Reigns. Roman cleans house with punches and spears before launching Kofi out.

Ziggler puts Roman down with a DDT but eats a spear to cut him in half. Reigns throws Ziggler out with ease and the fans suddenly hate him. Nash gets the same treatment as Reigns now has three eliminations in less than two minutes. Great Khali is in at #16 and goes after the Shield but gets tossed by Reigns. Goldust eliminates Cody to make up for the last two years but Reigns gets rid of Goldust a second later. That leaves the Shield alone with Punk but Sheamus returns after being out six months with an injury at #17.

El Torito is in at #20, giving us Punk, Rollins, Ambrose, Reigns, Sheamus, Miz, Fandango and Torito. Of course the bull cleans house until Punk stands up. Punk grabs him by the head but takes a headscissors, only to have Fandango run Torito over. The referee checks on Punk as Torito dropkicks Fandango out. Reigns catches Torito with ease and dumps him out for his sixth elimination. Punk gets back up as Cesaro is in at #21. He immediately starts swinging Miz but Shield breaks up a Swing attempt on Punk. Instead Rollins gets swung a ridiculous THIRTY TIMES. Luke Harper is in at #22 as Reigns spears Cesaro down.

Rollins and Cesaro slug it out until Jey Uso is in at #23. The brawling slows down a bit now and JBL is in at #24. Cole: “The JBL character has never entered the Royal Rumble.” Good grief. JBL wears his full suit into the ring but asks Cole to go get his jacket, allowing Reigns to dump him out. Fans: “YOU STILL GOT IT!” Erick Rowan is in at #25 as JBL tries to talk about ANYTHING but being in the Rumble. Rowan kicks Miz out to clear things up a bit but everything slows back down again.

Harper tosses Jey Uso but the Wyatts turn around to see the Shield. Ryback is in at #26 and goes right for Cesaro as the fans chant Goldberg. Alberto Del Rio gets lucky #27 and things slow down yet again. Batista is in at #28 and the fans just rip him apart. He quickly dumps Rowan and has a staredown with Ryback before dumping him as well. Del Rio, the man who has been going after Batista since he returned, superkicks him down but gets lifted into the air and dumped with ease.

Batista is booed out of the building as we see a highlight package ends the show.

Ratings Comparison

New Age Outlaws vs. Goldust/Cody Rhodes

Original: C

Redo: C

Daniel Bryan vs. Bray Wyatt

Original:A

Redo: A

Brock Lesnar vs. Big Show

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Original:B

Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original:B

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original:A

Redo: D+

Hokey smoke that’s quite the drop.

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