Royal Rumble 1988
Date: January 24, 1988
Location: Copps Coliseum, Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 18,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura

This is the first of the Rumbles and it aired on live TV instead of on Pay Per View. The battle royal tonight is twenty men instead of thirty and we also have three other matches on the card on top of that. We also get a bench press demonstration from Dino Bravo (just go with it) and the contract signing for Hogan vs. Andre II at the first live Main Event which would happen in twelve days. In a KB related story, I would happen in about ten days. Let’s get to it.

Vince does the intro over what I thought was Rude’s music. Oh it was Rude’s music. No wonder they sounded alike.

Rick Rude vs. Ricky Steamboat

This should work well with a career face vs. a career heel. That’s another thing you never get anymore: matches for the sake of having a match. You know what? It could work today too. For the sake of simplicity, Rick will only be used for Rude and Ricky will only be used for Steamboat. Rude pounds away to start but Steamboat fires off chops in retaliation. Rude throws him over the top because he’s still new at this WWF thing. Steamboat skins the cat back in and throws Rude to the floor.

Steamboat does Rude’s pose and Rude complains of a pull of the tights. Back in and Rude wants a test of strength and Dragon, ever the slow one, accepts. Down goes Ricky but he finally hits a knee to the hand to break the grip, followed by a wicked spin out to take Rude to the mat. Steamboat cranks on the arm and does so for a good while. The crowd is pretty much quiet here, so we can hear the individual shouts from fans which give Vince and Jesse something to talk about.

Rude escapes but Steamboat chops him right back down and armdrags him down as only Ricky can do. An elbow puts Ricky down for a bit and Rick pounds away some more. Steamboat comes back with chops and another armdrag into an armbar. More slugging out occurs with chops vs. punches dominating the action. In something you don’t often see, Steamboat seems to botch a spot, resulting in him backing into a knee from Rude and falling (intentionally) to the floor.

Rick sends Steamboat back first into the apron and slams him down as Steamboat is in trouble. There’s a camel clutch by Rude as he finally has a body part to work on. Steamboat taps but that wouldn’t mean anything else for about six years. The referee checks the arm and they make a BIG error as Ricky lets his arm fall three times before stopping it on the fourth drop. Jesse FREAKS as only he can but the match just keeps going. Gotta love that live TV thing right?

Anyway Steamboat stands up and drops Rude on his back to put both guys down. It’s Steamboat up first but a splash hits knees. Back to the chinlock but Ricky makes the ropes and sends Rude into the buckle ten times. A chop to the face gets two and we hit the mat for some technical stuff and a pinfall reversal sequence. By that I mean about five pin attempts each and the crowd is waking up now. Ricky suplexes Rude down but Rude pulls the referee in the way of the cross body. Rude puts on the over the shoulder backbreaker (his move before the Rude Awakening) but it’s a DQ win for Steamboat.

Rating: C. The main issue here was the length. This runs about eighteen minutes and a lame ending didn’t help things either. At least you had two talented guys in there to make the match work a bit better. Still though, cut about five minutes off of this one and it’s WAY better all of a sudden. Steamboat would be gone in just a few months.

It’s time for the bench press lift record attempt. Dino Bravo is doing the lifting (in wrestling gear) and Jesse is spotting. Frenchy Martin, Dino’s manager, is here too. Dino presses 415 to start but first demands complete and utter silence. The 415lbs are easily lifted ten times. We’re going for over 700 by the end so this may take awhile. Next up is 505, which I believe is what Yokozuna weighed when he debuted. That one only goes up eight times as we’re at six minutes spent on this so far.

This time it’s going to be 555. Great this is going to take even more time now. Dino stops to yell at the fans a bit first and now we’re going to the lifting. This one gets about seven reps as this continues to take time. Now it’s 595. They keep talking about a world record, even though there’s no official there to confirm this is happening or anything like that. Wait let’s yell at the fans some more before he lifts it three times. We’re at ten minutes now.

Jesse yells at McMahon a bit and Bravo takes forever to do 655. Gene doing the used car salesman selling of this segment helps a bit due to how over the top and ridiculous it is. Now they go for 715, but the record would be unofficial because the bar will have to be weighed later. We stop to yell at the fans of course first though and storms off. As Bravo goes to finish, Ventura reaches down and pulls the bar up. Yep, that’s the actual payoff of over fifteen minutes of this nonsense.

Women’s Tag Titles: Jumping Bomb Angels vs. Glamour Girls

These are real titles (held by the Glamour Girls at this point) which have perhaps the most confusing history ever, as the belts were literally bought and sold between two wrestling companies. Anyway, they’re here now and the Angels (Tateno and Yamazaki) beat the Glamour Girls (Judy Martin and Lelani Kai) in the finals of the Survivor Series match which basically set this up. This is also 2/3 falls.

I’m not entirely sure which is which on both teams but Vince doesn’t even know the names of the Angels at all until someone tells him later on. The Angels immediately charge at the Girls and hit stereo dropkicks to take over. For those of you unfamiliar with the Angels, basically imagine the Hardys before they became poster children for what drugs can do to you but with long hair and wearing one piece female swimsuits.

We start with Kai vs. Yamazaki (the one in pink. Got it) and a knee to the back from Martin gives the Girls control. Yamazaki Matrixes out of a cover and rolls Kai up for two. Off to Tateno for a kind of suplex out of a piledriver position for one. Jesse asks Vince the names of the Bomb Angels and Vince has NO idea. He suggests calling them pink and red. Yamazaki tries a cross body but it literally bounces off the shall we say rotund Martin.

Off to Kai again so Yamazaki knees her down before bring Tateno back in. Both Angels fire off forearms to take Kai down and there’s an Octopus Hold (a freaky kind of abdominal stretch from Japan) from Tateno. The Angels put on stereo figure fours before it gets down to just Tateno on Kai. There’s a legdrop between the legs ala Jeff Hardy but instead Tateno spreads her own legs to spread Kai’s into the splits as well.

Yamazaki hooks something like a Sharpshooter while being off to the side of Kai. That’s incredibly painful looking and I don’t think I’ve ever seen it otherwise. The Angels get in a tug of war over Kai with Martin losing the war. Martin makes a tag but it doesn’t count because her feet weren’t on the apron. There’s a rule you never see enforced. Not that it matters as there’s the regular tag anyway. Martin comes in and beats on Tateno a bit before hitting a falling backwards facedrop out of a powerbomb position for the first fall. Big Show called that the Alley Oop if it wasn’t clear.

Martin pounds on Tateno after the break but Tateno bridges out in the Matrix move from the mat. Martin misses a splash and there’s Yamazaki again. A middle rope clothesline puts Martin down for two as Vince knows the Angels’ names now. The Angels cause some heel miscommunication but Martin loads up the same move that won her the first fall. In a classic example of PSYCHOLOGY, Tateno rolls through it into a sunset flip for the second fall this time. See? She LEARNED over the course of the match. That shows thinking, which is psychology! It’s not that hard! She slipped a bit on the flip but I’ll forgive it this time.

The third fall begins with a double clothesline from the Angels for two on Kai but Lelani pounds away on her in retaliation. Off to Martin who blocks a fisherman’s suplex and escapes a backslide out of the corner. A slingshot sends Yamazaki into the wrong corner and double teaming gets two on her.

Off to Tateno who is thrown around even more than Yamazaki was. Tateno comes back with a pair of release atomic drops minus the knees and it’s off to Yamazaki for a top rope knee for two. A double underhook suplex gets two on Kai but a senton backsplash misses for Tateno. With Kai trying to get in, the Angels hit stereo missile dropkicks on Martin for the pin and the titles.

Rating: B. For the late 80s and women’s wrestling, this was off the charts. The Angels are every bit as good as any male cruiserweight not named Mysterio you’ll ever see and when they’re against people like the Girls, their skills are shown off even better. This was beyond state of the art for this time period and is still amazing today. Check these chicks out and you won’t be disappointed.

We recap Hogan vs. Andre at Wrestlemania by getting the opening minute or so which saw Hogan trying the slam and Andre getting a “controversial” two count. Andre wants a rematch and has been sold to DiBiase, who wants to buy the world title. Andre showed how evil he was by attacking Hogan on SNME and easily choking him down, setting up the rematch in about two weeks and a match which drew an INSANE 15 rating on LIVE national TV on NBC. Today Vince would lose his mind at a 5 on cable, so this was unthinkable back then.

Oh and now we get the contract signing between Andre and Hogan on tonight’s show for the match on February 5 in Indianapolis. DiBiase is here too as Jesse points out how stupid the fans are for cheering for a song called Real American here in Canada. Even Jack Tunney is here. For those of you unfamiliar, picture Johnny Ace if he wasn’t dripping with charisma.

Gene actually calls Andre Mr. Roussimoff here, which you NEVER hear on WWF TV. Andre won’t sit down and then he won’t sign. Hogan signs but Andre wants to read the whole thing first. One thing to note: Gene has probably said the date of the match about ten times. It’s so simple yet so effective. Andre signs and beats up Hogan for fun to end this after a LONG time.

Jesse and Vince talk about the Rumble and say that if you go over the top, it doesn’t matter where your feet touch because you’re out. I’m assuming that means you have to hit the floor but it’s not exactly clear.

Royal Rumble

Okerlund explains the rules and the intervals are every two minutes here. If you don’t know the Rumble rules, you have no business reading this. It’s a battle royal, people come in every two minutes, there are 20 people in it (this year only) last man standing wins. #1 is Bret Hart and #2 is Tito Santana, and wouldn’t you know it their tag teams are feuding right now. I mean what are the odds?

They slug it out to start with no one having any kind of advantage. Bret finally takes him down and heads towards the rope as Butch Reed comes in at #3. This is a different kind of Rumble as heels don’t fight heels and faces don’t fight faces yet. They just kind of work together as you would expect them to. Tito is almost thrown out by Reed but he escapes and beats on both heels for a bit.

It’s Neidhart in at #4 as not a ton is happening so far in this match. This leaves Santana more or less down 3-1 and everyone pounds away on him. The clock is pretty lenient so far as there’s no way they’re going two minutes between each of these entrants. We get some slow triple teaming and after a choke on the ropes, here’s Jake Roberts in at #5 to quickly toss out Reed. We’ve got Roberts/Santana vs. the Hart Foundation which is quite the tag match when you think about it.

The Harts get beaten down and then thrown into each other but Neidhart breaks up the DDT. Bret piledrives Santana down and Harley Race is in at #6. The crowd is staying way into this which is a good sign for the future. Things kind of slow down a bit as the faces and heels beat on each other for a little while. Here’s Jim Brunzell at #7 to make it a six man tag for all intents and purposes.

Roberts goes EVIL by pulling on Neidhart’s beard. Only Reed has been eliminated so far. The good guys are in control at the moment with Race almost being thrown out. Here’s Sam Houston, Jake’s real life half brother, coming in at #8 to beat on everyone in sight. Well every heel at least. The Harts finally get together and throw out Santana to get us down to six people in the ring.

After about 90 seconds, here’s Danny Davis at #9. To be fair he’s barely a jobber so it’s not like this is going to give the heels any significant advantage. Oh wait he’s fighting Sam Houston so yeah, the heels are in control. Race gets caught in the ropes and Jake keeps knocking him back and forth in a funny bit. Davis tries to kick Jake and gets his leg caught, followed by a suplex from Roberts.

Danny escapes a DDT as we get Boris Zhukov at #10, maybe 80 seconds after Davis came in. Things continue to go slow as we’re trying to build up to a regular battle royal. Race goes after Boris in the first instance of heel vs. heel in this match. Race and Hart double team Brunzell for a bit as this continues to be slow. Don Muraco comes out as #11 but Nikolai Volkoff follows him out, apparently thinking he’s #11. Now there’s a story you don’t see that often but which could work.

Brunzell puts out Zhukov and apparently Nikolai is going to be #12 in a few moments. After way too long of nothing happening, Nikolai is officially #12. Brunzell is put to the apron but gets back in just as Race is eliminated by Muraco. We’ve got eight in there at the moment, which would be Hart, Neidhart, Roberts, Brunzell, Houston, Davis, Muraco and Volkoff. Race won’t leave ringside so as Duggan comes out at #13, he beats Race up on the way. This would lead to one of those so ridiculous it’s hilarious moments at the Slammys.

Duggan goes right after Neidhart because HE wants to be the Jim in this match. The place is way into him too so the crowd reaction is good. After maybe a minute here’s Ron Bass at #14. Volkoff dumps Brunzell as Jake and Neidhart collide. The clock gets even shorter as B. Brian Blair is #15. There are way too many people in the ring now. Everyone fights everyone as Hillbilly Jim is #16, and the fourth person in this match named Jim. He also dumps out Jim Neidhart to empty the ring a tiny bit.

Dino Bravo is #17 as Bass dumps Houston. Back to slow motion mode with everyone pounding on people near the ropes without really doing much. Ultimate Warrior (doesn’t mean anything yet) is #18 and Bret is FINALLY put out by Don Muraco. I timed this next one, and the One Man Gang comes out at #19, 53 seconds after Warrior. They’re not even trying here. Gang immediately pounds on Roberts so Warrior jumps on the big man’s back. This is WAY before he would have been able to slam him anyway.

Gang dumps Blair and Roberts in about ten seconds, which is the best thing that could happen in this match. The Junkyard Dog is #20, giving us a final group of Davis, Volkoff, Muraco, Bass, Hillbilly Jim, Dino Bravo, Ultimate Warrior, Gang, Duggan and Dog. Hillbilly and Gang hammer on each other as Duggan puts Volkoff out. Gang tosses Hillbilly as Bravo and Davis double team Duggan. This ends badly for Davis as Duggan dumps him to a BIG pop.

Bravo and Gang dump the Warrior as we’re down to six pretty quickly. Bass jumps the Dog and tosses him to get us down to five. Muraco dumps Bass and we have a final four of Muraco, Gang, Duggan and Bravo. Gang splashes Duggan in the corner, leaving Muraco to have to fight off both guys. He even takes Frenchy Martin down with a dropkick, only to have Gang clothesline him out to get us down to three.

Jim gets double teamed for awhile and Bravo drops an elbow on him. The same clothesline sequence the heels tried earlier backfires and Bravo gets clotheslined out. Duggan pounds on Gang in a Mid-South reunion but a single shot from Gang takes him down. Gang beats on him next to the ropes, so Duggan low bridges him to win the first Royal Rumble.

Rating: C+. This is one of those matches where the words “well, they tried” come to mind. That’s the best way to put this match: they didn’t really know what they were doing yet, but they tried. The lack of star power hurt this one as only Duggan and maybe Dog were big names here. It wouldn’t be until next year when the star power came into this and it became a main event thing. Still though, it’s certainly not a bad match and they would get better as time went on.

We recap (see? It even happened back then) the contract signing from earlier tonight.

Hogan is in the arena (in jeans, which is a weird image for some reason) and says that he wants Andre. Standard hype interview for a big match but it’s Hogan in the late 80s so you know it’s awesome.

Islanders vs. Young Stallions

Another 2/3 falls match here just to fill in the final part of the show. The Islanders have recently kidnapped Matilda and are recently back off suspension for returning the dog. Tama and Powers (It’s Haku/Tama vs. Jim Powers/Paul Roma) start things off and no one can get a real advantage in the early going. The Stallions beat on Tama a bit, with shots to the head for some reason, before it’s Haku in off the tag.

A cross body gets two for Roma and the Stallions work on the arm for awhile. Off to Tama who gets in like one shot before we cut to a camera angle from over the announcers shoulders. That’s a new one. Powers gets caught by a double headbutt and Haku hammers away on him some more. This continues to go nowhere so I think out of boredom it’s off to Roma vs. Tama.

Roma dropkicks Tama down but Haku low bridges Roma, sending him to the floor and injuring the knee. That’s good enough for a countout for the first fall and the Stallions take Roma to the dressing room to get his knee looked at. In other words, we need a reason to show the contract signing again and let Andre talk a bit. Just like Hogan, Andre doesn’t have much to say but it hypes up the Main Event.

Back to the match after the promo, the recap and a pair of breaks and it’s basically Powers in a handicap match now. You can see big gaps of seats where fans have left. For this one, I can’t say I blame them. Powers dropkicks him down and we hear about Giant-A-Mania from Jesse. Off to Tama who pounds away even more and kicks out of a small package at two. Tama’s jumping back elbow takes Powers down and it’s a little Samoan trash talk for good measure. Haku’s dropkick gets two and there’s a gutwrench suplex for two more.

It’s off to an abdominal stretch but Powers finally hiptosses out of it to get a breather. Haku misses a splash and things slow down again, but there’s no one for Powers to tag because of Roma’s knee injury. Roma finally tags himself in and Haku casually kicks the leg out to take over. Jesse wishes that was Vince’s knee because that’s the kind of guy he is. Tama puts on a half crab and the referee stops it.

Rating: D. This match is a victim of its spot on the card. The problem here is that everything else is done and this was the textbook definition of filler. It’s hard to care about something like this when there’s no story and no interest in this match, and on top of that it wasn’t even anything decent. This is one of those matches though where you can’t blame a lot of the problems on the wrestlers.

Jesse and Vince chat a bit about what we saw to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. There’s one major thing to keep in mind about this show: it was on free TV. On PPV, this would have been bad, but to be fair they had no idea what they were going for here so anything good, which a lot of stuff on here was, was a surprise. This was a decent entry into the show, but they did WAY better next year when they had an idea what they were doing. Good first effort though.

As I did with the last series of reviews, I’ll be comparing the new ratings to the original ones and posting a link to the original review.

Ratings Comparison

Ricky Steamboat vs. Rick Rude

Original: C+

Redo: C

Jumping Bomb Angels vs. Glamour Girls

Original: B-

Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: C-

Redo: C+

Islanders vs. Young Stallions

Original: C-

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: C+

Redo: C+

This show hasn’t changed much other than a few tweaks here and there.

Here’s the original review:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/08/royal-rumble-count-up-1988/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Royal Rumble 2025
Date: February 1, 2025
Location: Lucas Oil Stadium, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Wade Barrett, Pat McAfee

It’s time to start the Road To Wrestlemania and that means we have one of the most important shows of the year. As usual, we have the two Royal Rumble matches, which could go in a few directions. Other than that, Cody Rhodes is defending the WWE Championship against Kevin Owens in a ladder match. Let’s get to it.

I was in the stadium for this show, sitting in the upper deck with the entrance on my right.

Commentary welcomes us to the show as people come to work.

Here is Stephanie McMahon in a surprise to welcome us to the show and hype up how big it is.

The opening video is naturally hosted by Pat McAfee, who talks about what a great city this is and how excited he is to have everyone here.

Commentary welcomes us to the show again.

Women’s Royal Rumble

So in a new innovation this year, we have some incredible (yet still simple) graphics, giving stats (how many Rumbles they have been in, their total eliminations etc), as well as how many people are in, how many have been eliminated, the next entrant, who is still in the match, who has been eliminated etc. These are GREAT and make this feel like so much more of a real sporting event while also making it easy for fans to jump in. Outstanding addition here and another sign of how great the changes have been.

Anyway we have two minute intervals and Iyo Sky is in at #1 and Liv Morgan is in at #2. They run the ropes to start until Sky dropkicks her into the corner. Sky misses a springboard but manages to send Morgan to the apron as Roxanne Perez (from NXT) is in at #3. Perez Thesz presses Sky and hammers away before hitting a DDT and Russian legsweep at the same time. Morgan is back up with a Codebreaker to leave everyone down as Lyra Valkyria is in at #4.

Valkyria cleans house to start and hits a tornado DDT on Sky…and we pause as Valkyria’s top starts falling off. Morgan is smart enough to knock her into the corner so things can be repaired. No one is eliminated and it’s Chelsea Green (to a heck of a pop) in at #5. Green comes in with the big over the top slaps, which leaves everyone to surround her for a group beatdown. B-Fab is in at #6 and gets in some shots as little is happening.

Ivy Nile is in at #7 and gets to German suplex people, including two at once. Zoey Stark is in at #8 and fires off some superkicks before sending Sy to the apron. Morgan gets close to eliminating Green butt can’t quite get there. Lash Legend (a big powerhouse from NXT) is in at #9 and gets to throw people around, including swinging Nile at various people. Fab gets in a slugout with Legend but Green throws Fab out for the first elimination.

Bianca Belair is in at #10, giving us Sky, Morgan, Perez, Valkyria, Green, Nile, Stark, Legend and Belair as the ring is rather full. Belair starts fast with a high crossbody to Green but it’s too early for any eliminations. Belair hammers away on Sky in the corner but moonsaults over a charging Sky to hammer away on both of them. Then she does it again with Stark and Legend and Morgan, though the latter gets away from the right hands. That was a great sequence and Belair follows it up with a suplex to Legend. Shayna Baszler is in a #11 and starts working on limbs until Stark slips on a springboard attempt.

Nile throws Valkyria out to set up their teased title match. Bayley is in at #12 and goes after Perez before having the big staredown with Sky. Stark and Baszler break that up but get sent to the apron as Sonya Deville is in at #13 to complete the Pure Fusion Collective. Deville gets to clean house and the Collective starts wrecking everyone. Green takes a time out on the floor as the beating continues.

Maxxine Dupri is in at #14 and forearms Nile down. The fisherman’s suplex drops Nile but the Collective breaks up the reverse Caterpillar. With the Collective down, Dupri can hit the reverse Caterpillar and kicks Nile out. Then the Collective tosses Dupri out as well. Naomi is in at #15 and teams up with Belair to start cleaning house. The Collective is out back to back to back to clear the ring an it’s Jaida Parker (athletic standout with some attitude from NXT) is in at #16.

Parker uses her hip based offense before staring it down with Legend. Belair and Naomi join in but Green gets in the middle of the four of them and is promptly destroyed. Green gets rid of Legend but runs into Naomi and Belair, who scare her off. Piper Niven is in at #17 and Green is rather happy, though it takes Niven forever to get to the ring, leaving Green frustrated. Niven comes in and cleans house….and accidentally eliminates Green. Panic ensues (even Cole knows that’s not good) and it’s Natalya in at #18 to a rather limited reaction.

Natalya starts fast and almost powerbombs Sky out, only for Perez to make the save. Jordynne Grace (officially part of the company and now with straight hair) is in at #19 and the fans are VERY happy. Grace gets to throw people around and tosses Parker, setting up a Parker style dance. A Death Valley Driver plants Niven and McAfee/Cole jump up in shock. Grace hugs old friend Naomi but Belair pulls them apart.

Michin is in at #20 to clean a bit of the house before getting planted by Niven. That gives us Sky, Morgan, Perez, Belair, Bayley, Naomi, Niven, Natalya, Grace and Michin. Alexa Bliss, with the Lily Doll, is back at #21 and so much for the contract issues. Even commentary gets in on the joke about the internet saying she wasn’t coming back. Bliss goes after Bayley for the old staredown and it’s Zelina Vega in at #22. The pace picks up, including a Code Red to Grace.

Candice LeRae is in at #23 and goes after Perez to limited avail. Belair has to hug the post to avoid being eliminated and it’s NXT’s Stephanie Vaquer in at #24. She gets to pick up the pace but charges into Bayley’s raised boot in the corner. Bayley gets her leg taken out and it’s Trish Stratus for the big surprise legend spot at #25. Stratus goes after Natalya, who Cole says is her “longtime rival.” They have never had a singles match or even been on opposite sides of a tag match.

Niven drops Stratus and things slow down as Raquel Rodriguez is in at #26. Rodriguez powerbombs Morgan onto Natalya and then dumps Natalya out. Bliss goes after Morgan and gets Codebreakered out for her efforts. Charlotte is back at #27 and, after taking her sweet time getting to the ring, chops quite a few people. Charlotte gets caught in a delayed double suplex but reverses it into a double DDT. Niven is out so Morgan and Rodriguez go after Charlotte as NXT Women’s Champion Giulia is in at #28.

Sky is waiting on her and they knock each other down as Charlotte fights off Morgan and Rodriguez. Giulia knees Grace out (that’s a bit of a surprise) but gets to face off with Vaquer. We get something of a current NXT vs. old school NXT brawl (cool) until Nia Jax is in at #29 (McAfee: “Oh no is what everybody is saying.”). Jax eliminates Vega and goes after Stratus, who doesn’t seem impressed. LeRae tries to break that up and gets tossed by Stratus, who tries the Stratusphere on Jax.

A hurricanrana just annoys Jax and Stratus is out and Jax runs over various people. Nikki Bella is back at #30, giving us a final grouping of Sky, Morgan, Perez, Belair, Naomi, Vaquer, Rodriguez, Charlotte, Giulia, Jax and Bella. Everyone circles Jax, who shoves them all away because she’s a monster and all. A bunch of strikes have Jax in trouble and Bella stops to do pushups, with Perez doing the same. In a totally not planned sequence, Vaquer, Sky, Belair, Naomi, Rodriguez and Morgan are sent to the apron and eliminated by Jax in the span of about fifteen seconds.

Giulia and Perez get Charlotte to the apron, only for Perez to eliminate Giulia instead. Bella knocks Bayley out but gets eliminated by Jax, laving us with Charlotte, Jax and Perez. Charlotte chops away at Jax but gets her leg twisted by Perez for a knockdown. Back up and Charlotte knocks out Jax, followed by a boot to eliminate Perez for the win at 1:10:16.

Rating: B-. I did like it, but there were WAY too many instances of people laying around and just killing time. On top of that, there is the “yes, it’s Charlotte, again” factor, as she’s gone for a year but comes back and wins the whole thing. That’s a bit of a lot to take, but it was the most likely option because, you know, Charlotte.

Other than that though, there were several great performances in here, with Grace, Perez, and especially Green coming off as absolute stars. That is quite the lineup but the bigger problem the long stretch of time without eliminations, leaving so may people laying around. Jax eliminating about six people almost at once was a bit much to take and large portions felt rushed, which says a lot when it was already long.

Big E. shills Slim Jim’s.

The Godfather, Mickie James and Kurt Angle are here, with Angle’s daughter wearing his gold medal.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Motor City Machine Guns vs. DIY

The Guns are challenging in a 2/3 falls match. The recap video (which shows the Guns debuting and winning the titles, only for Johnny Gargano to turn on his longtime friend Alex Shelley to steal them away) isn’t showed on the broadcast. Sabin and Ciampa chop it out to start until Shelley comes in for a double kick to the chest. The champs are sent outside for stereo dives from the Guns, setting up a suicide double clothesline from Sabin.

Gargano gets in a cheap shot on the floor though and DIY takes over back inside. That means some alternating double teaming can ensue, only for Shelley to fight back. Sabin finally gets in an enziguri and brings in Shelley but Ciampa…doesn’t tag. Gargano comes in for a distraction though, allowing Ciampa to come in with a jumping knee for the first fall at 3:16 (that was brilliant).

The second fall begins with Ciampa stomping away to set up the chinlock on Shelley. With that broken up, it’s a powerbomb/belly to back suplex combination for two as Shelley is in trouble. Back up and Shelley hits a Downward Spiral/DDT combination, only for Ciampa to offer a distraction. The referee doesn’t see the tag (that always works) and Sabin is caught in the wrong corner again.

A Shatter Machine gets two on Shelley but the slingshot spear is cut off. That’s enough for the tag back to Sabin and house is quickly cleaned. Ciampa is bleeding from the mouth as Sabin hits a huge dive to the floor for the double knockdown. Back in and a tornado DDT sets up Skull & Bones to tie the score at 9:04.

The third fall starts with Gargano getting in a shot to Sabin, allowing Ciampa to come in for a Fairy Tale Ending/superkick combination for two. Project Ciampa gets the same on Sabin and everyone is down. Ciampa takes Sabin up top but gets dropped face onto the post to knock him silly. With Ciampa in the Tree of Woe, Gargano gets suplexed into him to send Gargano outside.

A Sliced Bread/sitout powerbomb combination gets two on Ciampa, with Gargano making a last second save. Back up and Gargano accidentally kicks Ciampa, setting up the Dream Sequence. The referee is distracted though, allowing the Street Profits to come in with a crutch to knock Shelley silly. Meet In The Middle gives Ciampa the pin to retain at 13:59.

Rating: B. It was a good match, but it could not have been more filler to a card and it showed badly. The problem here is that it just didn’t feel that important and there was little way around that fact. That being said, it was good, back and forth action with DIY getting an assist to retain the titles, which works out just fine. Heck of a match here, with the Profits being added right back into the title mix.

Post match the Profits beat the champs down and pose with the titles.

And now, we look at Pat McAfee’s best NFL plays. But we don’t have time to recap the Tag Team Title match?

Some fans met Bianca Belair and Chelsea Green and got to come to the show.

Ron Simmons, Rick Steiner and Rob Van Dam (the latter of whom looks better than he did during parts of his career) are here.

We recap Kevin Owens vs. Cody Rhodes. Owens was livid about Rhodes teaming with Roman Reigns after Owens fought the team for years. Then Owens snapped and stole the Winged Eagle belt, setting up this ladder match for the title and a lot of revenge. Note that Cole says that we’re going to see a recap set to a Papa Roach song but it’s cut from Peacock.

Smackdown World Title: Cody Rhodes vs. Kevin Owens

Rhodes is defending in a ladder match and for some reason they both have their belts despite making such a big deal about them being hung up over a week ago. They stare at each other to start before going to the floor. The ladder is turned on its side so Owens slams him through the rungs in the middle. Said rungs are raked over Rhodes’ face and they fight into the crowd as this is quite the brawl so far.

Owens sends him face first into a camera for a great visual and they get back to the barricade, where Rhodes is dropped ribs first onto the barricade. Owens loads up a ladder inside but Rhodes is right there to cut him off. Another ladder is set up as a bridge between the apron and the announcers’ table but Owens takes too long. That lets Rhodes sends him into the steps…but Owens is back with a four foot step ladder and throws it at Rhodes to take over again.

A frog splash of the mini ladder doesn’t launch so Owens hits him with said ladder. Rhodes is dropped onto the mini ladder but he’s fine enough to send Owens into the really tall ladder. That lets Rhodes climb up but he winds up hanging from the belts. Owens pulls him down for a huge powerbomb, followed by a less huge ram into the standing ladder. Rhodes is fine enough to push the ladder over again and let’s tear off a rung to swing at Owens.

That lasts all of a few seconds as Owens kicks him in the face, setting up a Flip Flop And Fly for a nice chuckle. Instead of a Bionic Elbow though, it’s a rung to the head. Yet another ladder is brought in (even Cole thinks it’s excessive) but the package piledriver is broken up, with Rhodes backdropping him onto the side of a ladder for a NASTY landing. Rhodes goes up again, earning himself a powerbomb onto a ladder bridged over the bottom rope in the corner. Another ladder is bridged into the big standing ladder in the middle and Owens goes up.

For some reason Rhodes tries a superplex, which is as stupid as it seems as Owens superplexes him onto the bridged ladder. We pause for the medics and Nick Aldis to check on both of them….and Sami Zayn is here. With the two of them back up, Rhodes reverses a Stunner into the Cross Rhodes but it’s too early to climb. Rhodes takes it to the floor for a posting and Owens is busted open. That means a bunch of right hands to the cuts, but a low blow cuts Rhodes off. Another package piledriver is loaded up but Rhodes reverses into an Alabama Slam through the ladder. Owens is DONE and Rhodes retains at 25:05.

Rating: B. It’s a rather violent brawl and the ending spot looked great as Owens was destroyed. There were several cringe worthy moments and it felt like two people wanted to destroy each other. The problem here is the length, as it felt like they were killing tie more than once. Cut this down by five to eight minutes and it’s WAY better, but as it is, it’s basically just a violent ladder match with some good spots.

Evolve is coming in March. On Tubi.

Joe Tessitore and Big E. talk about the ladder match. For some reason only the audio was played in the stadium with no video.

Rumble By The Numbers video…which is also cut from Peacock.

Men’s Royal Rumble

2 minute intervals with Rey Mysterio in at #1 and Penta in at #2 for a nice start. We get a rather lengthy show of respect, which surprising as Penta has probably been a fan for decades. They start a bit slowly before going to the apron, where Penta’s feet certainly seem to hit the ground. The referee says it’s only one (the fans are REALLY not sure on that) butt Penta gets back in.

They knock each other down again and it’s Chad Gable in at #3. Gable fires off some suplexes but gets double teamed, with Mysterio climbing onto Penta’s shoulders to crash down onto Gable in a nice spot. Carmelo Hayes is in at #4 and hits the springboard reverse DDT on Mysterio before forming an alliance with Gable. That lasts all of ten seconds before they split up and pair off in the corners as Santos Escobar is in at #5.

Penta and Escobar have their showdown, with Escobar hitting a Canadian Destroyer butt getting caught with a 619 from Mysterio. We get a parade of people going to the apron and it’s Otis in at #6 as Gable (who can’t handle luchadors) keeps getting in trouble. Otis hits the Caterpillar before slugging it out with Gable, who plants him with a German suplex. Bron Breakker is in at #7 and a spear gets rid of Hayes (Breakker’s old NXT rival), followed by a backdrop to Otis.

Another spear drops Escobar (who was holding Penta) and Escobar is out. Akira Tozawa of all people is in at #8 but Hayes jumps him in the entrance. Since one forearm is enough to knock Tozawa silly, Adam Pearce comes out and carries him to the back, where HHH sends IShowSpeed (a streamer) in for his spot instead. Speed runs in and helps Breakker get rid of Otis before getting absolutely crushed by a Breakker spear (that looked GREAT). Breakker throws Speed over the top and onto Otis, who throws him over the announcers’ table for the elimination. Cole: “Are you ok so?” McAfee: “NO HE’S NOT OK!”

Sheamus is in at #9 (the booking for this has been great so far, as it’s one logical step after another, with Sheamus having issues with Breakker) and hits the forearms to Gable’s chest. Breakker gets the forearms as well and Sheamus hits Penta with a slingshot spear. The Brogue Kick cuts off Breakker’s spear and they chop it out until Jimmy Uso is in at #10. That gives us Mysterio, Penta, Gable, Breakker, Sheamus and Uso, the latter of whom hits a Whisper In The Wind to Penta.

Andrade is in at #11 and runs over Sheamus, followed by some running knee in the corner. Penta superplexes Escobar and most everyone is down…as Jacob Fatu is in at #12. Fatu Samoan drops Mysterio and Penta at the same time before throwing out Mysterio and Gable. There goes Andrade as well but Breakker is waiting on Fatu. Ludwig Kaiser is in at #13 and he’s not thrilled with getting in there immediately. The rest of the match slows down and Kaiser gets in, only to be tossed out by Penta two seconds later. Breakker saves himself from an elimination attempt and it’s the Miz in at #14.

Miz almost throws Breakker out and hits a Skull Crushing finale on Uso. A middle rope hurricanrana takes Penta down but Miz makes the mistake of going after Fatu, which goes as well as you would expect. The Samoan drop plants Miz and Fatu stands around….as TNA World Champion Joe Hendry is in at #15. The stadium sings his song and he gets to clean some house including the Standing Ovation (chokeslam) to Miz. Sheamus and Fatu have a standoff and Roman Reigns is in at #16 to a ROAR.

The spear hits Miz and he’s out, with Sheamus following him rather quickly. There’s a spear to Hendry who is out as well (to be fair, he was only there for the song) but Breakker spears Reigns for a change. Reigns is right back up to toss Breakker but Reigns needs a breather. Fatu dumps Uso and we have the big showdown with Reigns, which has to be a preview for something. The slugout is on and Reigns hits a spear but Drew McIntyre is in at #17. Fatu and McIntyre double team Reigns down and Finn Balor is in a #18.

The Sling Blade hits Penta but it’s not enough to get rid of him. Penta is back up with some slingshot dropkicks in the corner as Shinsuke Nakamura is in at #19. Penta’s Canadian Destroyer hits Fatu so he tries another on Balor, who tosses Penta out. Jey Uso is in at #20, giving us Uso, Balor, Fatu, McIntyre, Nakamura and Reigns. Uso hits a spear on McIntyre and a poisonrana on Fatu before trading kicks with Nakamura. Uso tosses Nakamura (and waves goodbye) and AJ Styles is back at #21.

House is cleaned before Styles gets in a staredown with Fatu. Braun Strowman is in at #22 (only a week after being smashed by Fatu, which is quite the turnaround) and goes straight after Fatu with a crossbody of all things. That’s enough for Strowman to power Fatu out, leaving Fatu to clear the announcers’ table and throw a chair. A bunch of people go after Strowman but none of that matters as John Cena is here at #23 (getting a not so subtle glare from Fatu). Cena gets rid of Strowman and Balor before getting in a staredown with Reigns. Since this isn’t big enough, CM Punk is in at #24 and we get a three way staredown, with Cena looking rather excited.

This goes on so long that Seth Rollins is in at #25 to make things all the more interesting. Rollins wastes no time in going after Punk as Cena brawls with Reigns. McIntyre is back up so Rollins goes after him as Styles chops Cena in the corner. Dominik Mysterio is in at #26 and comes in with a frog splash. For some reason Mysterio tries a suplex on Reigns, which goes as badly as you would expect. Sami Zayn is in at lucky #27 and starts firing off the Helluva Kicks. Nothing goes on for a bit until Damian Priest is in at #28.

Priest comes in with the Old School crossbody to McIntyre an a chokeslam is enough to get rid of Mysterio. Things slow down again and it’s LA Knight in at #29 to quite the reaction. The top rope spelling elbow hits Cena and there’s the jumping neckbreaker to Styles. Zayn gets sent to the apron and Uso’s superkick knocks him out by mistake. Logan Paul is in at #30, giving us a final group of Uso, Cena, Paul, Styles, McIntyre, Knight, Priest, Punk, Rollins and Reigns.

Paul comes in with a double Buckshot Lariat before Priest dumps McIntyre, who is aghast (again). Knight knocks Paul to the apron but Paul jumps to the announcers’ table (you sir are no Kofi Kingston). Knight clotheslines Priest out instead but gets tossed by Styles, leaving Paul to jump from the apron to the steps so he can get back in. As a bonus, he pulls Styles of the top for an elimination and we’re down to six. They all get up for a hexagon staredown and the pairing off begins.

The parade of knockdowns is on until Reigns glare at Rollins, We get the big showdown before both of them miss their big strikes. Reigns hits a clothesline against the ropes but can’t get rid of Rollins, so Punk is right there to dump both of them. Paul dumps Punk and Rollins is so mad that he takes out Reigns. Rollins brawls with Punk but once that’s broken up, he Stomps Reigns into the steps. Rollins FINALLY leaves as the other three are still down inside with the match basically having stopped. Uso and Paul get up to slug it out until Cena fireman’s carries them both at the same time.

With that broken up, Cena clotheslines Paul out and we’re own to two. They stare each other down and lug it out until Uso hits some superkicks. The spear cuts Cena down and we get a double breather. Back up and Cena throws him over the top but Uso holds on, with Cena joining him on the apron. Both are smart enough to try to get back inside before they slug it out but Uso slips out and knocks him to the floor for the win at 1:20:08.

Rating: A. I’m sorry what now? Uso winning is about as out of nowhere as you can get, but you cannot deny how over he is right now. Uso is as hot as anyone in WWE at the moment and while there is a LONG time left for the Wrestlemania title picture to be shaken up, this is the kind of win that can change someone’s career. I kept thinking they were making it too obvious in the final two and above all else, this was not boring. We’ll have to see where it goes, but dang points for a surprise.

As for the rest of the match, it was one of the best put together Rumbles I’ve ever seen, with the stories connecting throughout the match to make things that much better. Breakker and Fatu had another star making performance each and there were some stories set up for later. Heck of a match here and I had a great time with it. I’ll need some time to get my head around the ending, but the match was great.

Post match Cena is aggressive but shows respect before leaving. Uso gets to celebrate for a long time as the announcers’ YEET on the table to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. As usual, the Royal Rumble is going to be built around the two namesake matches because what else was it going to be about? They took up over two and a half hours of ring time and that is more than half of the entire show. The women’s edition was ok enough and the men’s edition was excellent, which is more than enough for a strong showing. The Tag Team Title match was good enough and the ladder match was a fight, making this one heck of an overall show.

Results
Charlotte won the Women’s Royal Rumble last eliminating Roxanne Perez
DIY b. Motor City Machine Guns 2-1
Cody Rhodes b. Kevin Owens – Rhodes pulled down the titles
Jey Uso won the Men’s Royal Rumble last eliminating John Cena

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

The wife and I are going on a road trip to Indianapolis and will be at the stadium for the show.  We’ll be staying in the city overnight and then coming home tomorrow so I’ll be trying to get to both the Rumble and Collision on Sunday night.  Enjoy the show and I’ll be back as soon as I can with the reviews.

KB

It’s time for the first major show of the year and in this case I’m a bit more excited than usual. Granted that might be due to me having a ticked for the show but maybe I’m looking too deeply into that. Other than that, it’s the usual two match card, with the Men’s and Women’s Royal Rumble matches dominating the show. That should be enough to carry things so let’s get to it.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: DIY(c) vs. Motor City Machine Guns

Here we have one of the longer matches to help flesh out the card as this is 2/3 falls. In other words, there is no reason for this to be anything more than good, as you have two talented teams in a match that is basically built for them. They have a bit of a story too as DIY cheated the Guns out of the titles in an overdue heel turn. I can always go for more of the Guns, and we should be getting that here.

As much as I would love to see the Guns get the titles back in a great moment on a big stage, this seems like it is going to be DIY getting to the last all and then losing in the end, likely due to some cheating. That would make the most sense and give DIY a way out, though I’m not sure what is next for the Guns. Either way, this should be a heck of a match and that’s all it is supposed to be.

WWE Title: Cody Rhodes(c) vs. Kevin Owens

It’s a ladder match for two titles and my goodness it’s going to be insane to see the Winged Eagle Title on the line. This is a feud that is several months in the making and while there is always the chance for Owens to steal the title in something like this, Rhodes is still the biggest star in WWE and that should be more than enough to help carry him. I think you get where this is going.

Of course I’m going with Rhodes here, as we should be on the way to her having some kind of a major showdown at Wrestlemania. Owens has become a pretty standard Royal Rumble opponent and that is a nice thing to have around. There are going to be some big spots here and I could go for seeing what they pull off before Rhodes retains the title, as he should at the moment.

Women’s Royal Rumble

This match always has the same issue: the women’s division only has so much depth and it can become something of a problem. The names at the top are all more than solid enough, but the match doesn’t usually have enough big names to fill out thirty spots. They are getting better and better at it, but hopefully we get some more NXT names or legends to spice things up a bit this time.

As for a winner though, as annoying as it might be, this feels like Charlotte’s to win. Unless Becky Lynch is going to make one heck of a surprise return, Charlotte is just too big of a deal to overcome. If WWE is so obsessed with her getting sixteen titles (and they are), then we are going to be in for another of her big runs as she becomes the first ever two time winner of the women’s edition.

Men’s Royal Rumble

Now we get to the fun part as I’m really not sure where to go. This week’s Raw made it feel like winning the title shot was the biggest deal in the world and that is what we should be getting here. When you have people talking about how important the win is, it makes the match feel that much better and WWE has done a good job of making it work here, which is where things should be going.

I really have no idea who to pick here, as you could easily go with John Cena, but with Roman Reigns, Seth Rollins, Drew McIntyre, CM Punk and maybe even Sami Zayn, you have a heck of a field of options. That doesn’t even consider the idea of someone in the middle of the card jumping up as a surprise. That being said, as it’s his last chance, I’ll take what should be the safe pick and say Cena steals the win here. It sets him up as the all time record holder for Rumble wins (well tied at least) and sets him up for the big record setting title match. It’s a wide open field though and that is great to see.

Overall Thoughts

When I was watching Raw this week, the thing I kept thinking was “I have no idea who is winning the Men’s Royal Rumble” and I love that feeling. It’s just cool to have so may options and it makes the match that much more interesting. I’m curious to see where things go and if they are getting fans to feel that way, they are doing things exactly right for one of the most important shows of the year.

Royal Rumble 2012
Date: January 29, 2012
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 18,121
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

We wrap things up here with last year’s show. The Rumble is back to the thirty entrant variety which is probably the best move all around. The odds on favorite is Jericho who returned very recently before this show. Other than that we’ve got Daniel Bryan defending his newly won world title against Big Show and Henry in a cage, along with Punk defending against Ziggler. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is of course about going to Wrestlemania.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Mark Henry

Bryan is champion and beat Show at TLC by cashing in his MITB case in 45 seconds. Show beat Henry at the same show and ran over Bryan’s girlfriend AJ on Raw to set all this up. This is one fall to a finish and it’s pin/submission/escape. Bryan immediately goes for the corner but Henry pulls him down and Show runs Bryan over for two. Show crushes Henry against the cage wall but has to stop to pull Bryan back inside. Bryan tries to run up again but Show catches him by the ankle and slams him back in.

Show loads up the WMD but hits the cage wall instead. The champion fires off some kicks but gets headbutted right back down. Bryan kicks the knee out even harder and fires off some kicks to Henry to keep the other monster down. He goes for the door but you know this isn’t ending that quickly. Henry makes the stop and demands that the referee CLOSE THAT DOOR. Show superkicks Henry down and it’s his turn to take over for awhile.

Bryan gets slammed down but Henry is back up again. A few punches put Show down because a dozen chair shots usually can’t, but a few punches can. Actually that’s a great way to keep Henry looking strong. The fans are cheering for Bryan as Henry and Show collide to put all three guys down. Show gets back up and clotheslines Bryan down a few times before superkicking him in the face. The chokeslam is countered and Bryan hits a tornado DDT on Show for two.

The LeBell (NO!) Lock is put on Show but Henry breaks it up in about a second. The WMD gets two on Henry but Bryan makes the save, which ticks Show off. Bryan SPRINTS up the cage but Show chases after him and grabs Bryan before he can get out. Bryan sits on the top of the cage and pounds away, only to be caught again. The champion is literally hanging from Show’s wrist before finally letting go and falling to the floor to retain the title.

Rating: D+. This really wasn’t all that great. At the end of the day, it was a lot of the same sequence over and over again with Show and Henry not having a ton of interaction at all. The ending didn’t look great either and I’m not sure why Show would just hold him out over the floor like that. This falls under the category of “…..really?” as it’s hard to buy Bryan keeping the belt here.

Long video on Cena and all the stuff he does for WWE. The man is insanely committed to that company.

Divas of Doom/Bella Twins vs. Eve Torres/Alicia Fox/Tamina/Kelly Kelly

The Divas of Doom are Beth and Natalya. Natalya and Tamina start things off and they collide a few times. Tamina slaps her in the face before chopping Nattie down for two. Off to Eve for that bouncing moonsault for two. Since that’s a pretty lame move, Natalya charges her into the corner and brings in Beth who blocks a rolling splash with knees to Eve’s back.

Off to let’s say Nikki for some basic stomps to the back and a quickly broken chinlock. Jerry is asked what he likes about the Bellas and he can’t even get an answer out. Not hot tag brings in Alicia who is immediately sent into the corner and chinlocked as well. Alicia finally counters by flipping Nikki forward and makes the actual hot tag to Kelly. There’s the screaming headscissors and a faceplant for two. Everything breaks down and almost everyone heads to the floor, where Kelly hits a HUGE dive to take everyone out. Back in and Beth SLAPS herself in to hit the Glam Slam on Kelly for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was your usual Divas match: they did their “sexy” spots, they had barely there outfits, Kelly screamed a lot, Beth beat up Kelly to end things. One interesting note from a year later: would they even be able to put together an eight Divas tag now? I’m thinking through the roster and I don’t know if I can name eight girls on the main shows right now.

We recap Ryder getting hurt at the hands of Kane. This was during the period where Ryder went from one of the hottest things in the company and US Champion to a rag doll that Kane destroyed over and over and over in the span of a few weeks until his push was completely destroyed. Eve blamed Cena for Ryder having his back broken for some reason.

Ryder is wheeled in and patronized by Johnny Ace (remember him?). Ace has a private room set up for Ryder but Eve comes up to yell at Ace first. Not much here but it’s setting up stuff later on tonight.

Kane vs. John Cena

This is when Kane had the welder’s mask look. Brawl to start with Kane beating Cena down into the corner as the fans are split on Johnny. A clothesline puts them both on the floor where Kane is sent knees first into the steps. Back in and Cena can’t hit the AA on Kane. That makes sense as after all, Kane is probably 175lbs lighter than Show who Cena throws around with near ease most of the time.

Kane kicks Cena down and gets two off an uppercut. A suplex gets the same and it’s off to a chinlock. Cena fights up and is sent into the buckle for his efforts followed by Kane’s stupid smother hold. John tries to counter into a Crossface but Kane comes out with a side slam. The idea here is that Cena can’t get anything going at all. The top rope clothesline takes Cena’s head off but Cena pops up and hits his shoulder block.

The Shuffle is countered by a grab of Cena’s throat and a big boot gets two. Cena blocks a superplex and hits the Shuffle off the top. That’s certainly a new one. The AA is countered by an elbow to the face and Kane kicks Cena out to the floor. Booker talks about how Cena is a good kid. I don’t think I ever recall Cena being called a kid since like 2004. Kane pounds on Cena in the aisle and that’s a double countout so we can do this match again next month.

Rating: D+. I know that’s a common theme tonight but it fits here again. These two didn’t work all that well together and the story was even worse. Then again, this was nothing more than giving Cena something to do for a few months until he could get ready for the biggest match of his career. This didn’t work for the most part.

The fight continues into the back where Kane finds a chair to lay to lay out Cena. To the shock of no one paying attention, Kane finds the door to Ryder’s private room and kicks the door in. Ryder is taken to the ring and tombstoned as Eve screams. Cena comes out to try to save Eve but gets chokeslammed by Kane who walks away. Ryder does a stretcher job, but somehow it would get even worse for him in the coming weeks.

BE A STAR!

Zack is wheeled out and Cena is booed for it. That’s the part of this story that never held up for me: why is this Cena’s responsibility? Ryder was the United States Champion. He should be able to defend himself.

We get a video on the Rock just like Cena got earlier. It’s shot in the back of Rock’s car and is more like a mini documentary. It focuses on how insane Rock’s life is and all of the stuff he does around the world.

Drew McIntyre vs. Brodus Clay

This is right after Brodus redebuted as the Funkasaurus so he was still a new character at this point. Brodus dances a lot, Drew punches him in the corner, Brodus headbutts him and hits the cross body (called WHAT THE FUNK) for the pin in about a minute.

Buy Slim Jims! For the troops!

We recap Punk vs. Ziggler who is challenging Punk on Ace’s behalf. This is during the “Ace is boring” phase where Punk made fun of him no matter what he did, so Ace helped Ziggler get a win over Punk to earn a title shot. Ace is also guest referee tonight just because. He’s openly admitted he’s going to screw Punk out of the title tonight, so HHH is going to evaluate his job status the next night on Raw, meaning Ace has to play nice.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler

Punk is defending and Ace is referee. Johnny Ace is John Laurinitis but that’s a hard name to spell. Before the match, Ace says he’ll be the outside referee. Ok then. Wait we’re still not ready to go as Ace throws Vickie out as well. We finally get going and Ziggler tries a quick Fameasser which is countered into a failed GTS attempt. Punk tells Dolph it was that close. They feel each other out a bit longer until Ziggler starts strutting.

Punk finally gets his hands on Ziggler and puts on an abdominal stretch, complete with a wrapped toe and slicking back his hair ala Ziggler. Dolph heads to the floor and gets taken out by a suicide dive but shoves Punk off the top rope once they get back inside. Ziggler drops about eight elbows in a row and a jumping version gets two. We hit the chinlock with Ziggler cranking on the head way more than necessary.

The champ starts firing off chops and strikes before getting caught in the sleeper. That goes nowhere but neither does Punk’s Anaconda Vice attempt. Back to the sleeper but Dolph can’t get it on all the way. Instead there’s a perfect dropkick for two on Punk but the Fameasser is countered into a helicopter bomb for two. A swinging neckbreaker by the champ puts Dolph into the corner where the knee/bulldog combination actually works.

The GTS is countered into a slingshot but Punk lands on the middle rope. He comes off with a spinning cross body but Ziggler rolls through for a near fall in a cool sequence. The high kick gets two for Punk as does the Macho Elbow, drawing a Randy Savage chant. The GTS is countered again and the referee goes down as per the requirement in a world title mach. Punk hooks the Vice but Ace is checking on the down referee. Then Punk gets a rollup and there’s STILL no referee.

Ace sends the referee back in as Punk loads up the GTS, but Ziggler’s legs knock Ace to the floor. Ace sees the pin but refuses to count because he thinks Punk did it on purpose. Ziggler counters another GTS attempt into the Fameasser for two before pounding away a bit. The champ comes back with a slingshot and the GTS gets a pin from both referees to retain the title.

Rating: B+. This took awhile to get going as we were all waiting on the Ace stuff. The feud would go on for weeks until Jericho finally showed up to give Punk someone with charisma to feud with. The near falls at the end were a lot better than Ace, but it occurs to me that this was pretty much the same match he had last year. Good stuff though.

Rumble by the Numbers:

30 Superstars

1 winner

31 Hall of Famers in the Rumble

21 main events those Hall of Famers have been in at Wrestlemania

695 entrants who have been eliminated

39 entrants eliminated by Michaels, a record (Kane is second at 35)

13 consecutive Rumbles for Kane

11 eliminations for Kane in 2001

194,107lbs that have been in the Rumble, or over 97 tons, or 430 Big Show

421,883 people who have attended the Rumble

62:12 Rey Mysterio spent in the Rumble in 2006, a record

3 wins for Austin

1 second that Santino lasted in 2009

2 women who have competed in the Rumble

1, the entrant that has produced the same amount of winners as #30 at two each

27, the entrant with more winners than any other at four

55 percent of winners that have won the title at Wrestlemania

Royal Rumble

The Miz is #1 and talks about how he’s going back to the main event of Wrestlemania this year. His former apprentice Alex Riley is #2 which isn’t really surprising given how RANDOM these draws are. I always liked Riley and he always got a good reaction, which is clearly why he doesn’t get on TV more. Riley pounds away to start and runs Miz over with a forearm but walks into a big boot. Maybe it’s the old school fan in me but I don’t like a 6’0 guy using a big boot. Miz talks trash and low bridges Riley out with ease.

R-Truth, Miz’s former partner, is #3. Truth fires off some kicks and avoids the Finale before hitting a kind of powerslam. Miz gets sent to the apron for the second time but Truth turns his back to watch Cody come out at #4. A quick Disaster Kick puts Truth down (Cole says it hits Miz because those two are so hard to tell apart) and Truth gets double teamed for awhile. He manages to send Cody to the apron but gets caught in the Reality Check as the clock seems to be speeding up.

Justin Gabriel is #5 and things speed WAY up. A big spinwheel kick puts Miz down before Cody goes nuts on Gabriel in the corner. Primo is #6 to keep things low key to start. Actually he speeds things up as well and hits a sweet headscissors out of the corner to take Gabriel down. Truth hits the spinning forearm on Cody, only to be dumped out by Miz a second later. Since he’s still crazy, Truth pulls Miz to the floor and lays him out on the outside.

Mick Foley is #7 to fire up the crowd a little bit. He dumps Primo almost immediately before getting beaten on by Cody. Foley looks really old and slow here but to be fair, he is in fact old and slow. In a HILARIOUS bit, Ricardo Rodriguez is #8 but comes out in an old banged up, rusted out rental car. He’s even got the Del Rio scarf to hide some of his hideous pale body. We get a HUGE Ricardo chant as Foley and Gabriel have no idea what to do here.

Ricardo takes Cody down and pounds away before proposing an alliance with Foley of all people. They actually do team up and toss Gabriel, allowing Ricardo to do a CM Punk knee slide. We keep the comedy going with Santino at #9 and Ricardo runs from the Cobra. Santino beats on Ricardo and literally rolls him around the ring before pulling his trunks up and tossing Rodriguez.

Now we get my favorite spot of the match as Santino puts on the Cobra and Mick puts on Socko and it’s TIME FOR A DUEL!!! Before they can collide though it’s Epico at #10 but he falls to the powers of the socks and is out almost immediately. The socks COLLIDE until Miz and Cody pop back in (neither was eliminated) and dump Santino. Miz gets Socko but Cody dumps Mick. Fun comedy bit here to give us a good first act to the match.

Kofi Kingston is #11 and hits a double springboard clothesline before hitting a double Boom Drop. In at #12 is Jerry Lawler (Cole: “WHAT ARE YOU DOING???”) and he causes Miz to hit Cody by mistake. Lawler speeds things up and hits the middle rope punch with the lowered strap, only to be put out by Cody. Ezekiel Jackson is #13 and gets to do the usual power moves on each guy while the others lay around.

Jinder Mahal is #14 and the fans start chanting USA, even though the only two Americans in this match are Rhodes and Miz. Great Khali comes in at #15 and Mahal panics. Everyone gets chops and Mahal is out in just a few seconds. Jackson tries to pound away and is put out almost immediately as well. Hunico is #16 on that stupid bicycle of his and hits a spinning cross body on Miz and his Angle Slam on Cody.

Khali chops Hunico down as the ring is staying relatively empty. Booker T is #17 to surprise Cole. You would think he would have noticed that the man sitting next to him for over two hours wasn’t wearing pants but he never was considered that bright. Now we get the spot of the match as Miz shoves Kofi to the floor but Kofi holds himself up by his hands. Miz shoves Kofi into a handstand but Kingston WALKS ON HIS HANDS ACROSS THE FLOOR TO THE STEPS to get back in. FREAKING AWESOME MAN!

Dolph Ziggler is #18 as the ring is starting to get full. Hacksaw Jim Duggan makes his annual return at #19 to pop the crowd huge. He cleans house for a bit and we get a DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER on Miz and Rhodes. Cody avoids a charge in the corner though and dumps Duggan in less than a minute. That’s the best idea at the end of the day. Miz and Cody team up to put out Booker and Khali at the same time.

We complete the trio with Michael Cole at #20. At the moment we’ve got Cole, Miz, Rhodes, Kingston, Hunico and Ziggler in the ring. Kharma returns at #21 in her only WWE match ever. She hits Cole so hard she knocks his headgear off so Cole eliminates himself. Well he gets to the apron where King and Booker eliminate him. Ziggler tells Kharma to get out so she DRILLS him. Kharma dumps Hunico but Ziggler sneaks up and eliminates her (Booker calls this doing the impossible. Not really Book.) to a ton of heat.

Sheamus is #22 to give us some A level star power. Well maybe B+ level. Things speed up with Sheamus destroying everyone and tossing Kofi out. There are the ten forearms in the ropes to Cody and ten to Miz as well. The Zig Zag is countered and Road Dogg is another surprise return at #23. He gets to clean house for a bit and earns a “you still got it” chant. In far less than 90 seconds, Jey Uso is #24.

Everyone pairs off until Jack Swagger is #25. After a few suplexes everything settles down into its usual brawling phase until Barrett is #26. He throws out Roadie and stomps away on a lot of people. David Otunga gets the lucky spot at #27 and poses a lot before he comes out. Not a lot happens so Orton comes in at #28 to pick things up a bit. Remember we’re in his hometown so everyone goes nuts.

Cody breaks up the RKO on Barrett so Randy hits the Elevated DDT on both Cody and Ziggler at the same time because he can. There’s an RKO to Barrett and he’s out. Chris Jericho, complete with a blackout of the arena, makes his return at #29. He’s still a face at this point and dumps Otunga to a good reaction. Big Show is #30 which was considered a letdown at the time. Dude, he was world champion a month ago. That’s hardly Darren Young coming out.

As Show comes in he pulls Swagger out from the floor, giving us a final grouping of Miz, Rhodes, Ziggler, Sheamus, Orton, Jericho and Big Show. That’s a pretty solid grouping. Show dumps Cody and Miz at the same time to get us down to five. Show tosses Ziggler as well to get us down to four. The big man cleans house but walks into an RKO, allowing Orton and Sheamus to pick him up and Randy clotheslines him out. Jericho dumps Orton immediately thereafter and we’re down to two.

The fans are entirely behind Jericho here so Sheamus runs him over a few times. Jericho’s bulldog is countered but Sheamus can’t throw him over the corner. Jericho charges into the Irish Curse but Sheamus can’t hit the High Cross. We get a great false finish with Jericho clotheslining Sheamus to the apron and then knocking him down to the point where Sheamus is hanging on by his leg. Sheamus comes back in with the slingshot shoulder but the Brogue Kick is countered into the Walls.

After the hold is broken Jericho gets knocked to the apron where he BARELY hangs on. They go to the top rope and both fall to the apron, meaning if they hit the floor they’re out. Both guys get back in and there’s the Codebreaker to Sheamus. Jericho gets Sheamus upside down but can’t get him out. A shot to the face ticks Sheamus off and he catches a Codebreaker attempt to put Jericho on the apron. The Brogue Kick sends Sheamus to Wrestlemania.

Rating: A-. This is one of those Rumbles that is great fun as you watch it live but it loses some steam on a second viewing. They spent a bit too much time on nostalgia and funny ideas here but they were still really good ideas. The ending with Sheamus and Jericho ROCKED and I have no idea why they never got to have a long PPV match. This is a really good Rumble but it never reaches that excellent level that some of them get to.

Sheamus celebrates a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. The Rumble is a unique show as it has a way to save itself from a bad first half. That’s what happened here as the last two matches were certainly good enough to save it from the horrible first few matches. As usual the last two guys would both get world title shots with the winner getting the opening match instead of the real main event, but going on before Rock vs. Cena is hardly torture.

Ratings Comparison

Daniel Bryan vs. Mark Henry vs. Big Show

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Bella Twins/Divas of Doom vs. Alicia Fox/Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres/Tamina

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Kane vs. John Cena

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Brodus Clay vs. Drew McIntyre

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler

Original: B

Redo: B+

Royal Rumble

Original: B+

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B

Just like last year, not much difference here.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/01/29/royal-rumble-2012/

That was fun. I really enjoy going back and doing these shows over again as a lot of them have great moments that you forget about over the years. The Rumble is a very unique show as it’s probably the only gimmick PPV that works almost every year. Over the years there have been a lot of gimmick shows like Survivor Series and most of them wind up being terrible at some point. The Rumble has been bad at times to be sure, but there has never been a period where the match wasn’t at least fun in some regard or valuable at the end of the day.

The best Rumbles tend to be the ones that follow the three act structure (dominant midcarder taking over to start, a lot of midcarders and lower guys in the middle, main eventers to wrap things up) with the best ones likely being 2000 and 2001. The comedy spots can help a lot as at nearly an hour, it’s hard to keep things serious the entire time. The only bad thing about it anymore is that it comes right before Elimination Chamber which takes away the feeling of the Road to Wrestlemania. Still though, it’s an excellent series and most are worth seeing if you haven’t before.

Speaking of Wrestlemania, I’ll be releasing the Redo series of that starting on March 10. I hope you enjoyed this as I did and it’s time for Wrestlemania season.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Royal Rumble 2009
Date: January 25, 2009
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 16,685
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Tazz

This isn’t so much the Royal Rumble as much as it is HHH and Randy Orton are in a match and 28 other guys happen to be in the ring too. Other than that we have Edge challenging the NEW WWE Champion Jeff Hardy and Cena defending against JBL, who has Shawn Michaels and his crisis of conscience working for him at the moment. This wasn’t the best year for WWE so let’s get to it.

No intro video this year. That’s interesting.

ECW Title: Jack Swagger vs. Matt Hardy

Swagger won the title about two weeks ago and this is Hardy’s rematch. We actually get big match intros for this, which is a rare sight for an ECW Title match. Matt takes him into the corner to start before punching Jack in the face. Striker calls that a pugilistic endeavor to sound smart. Another punch sends Swagger to the floor and we head back inside for a clothesline from Matt.

Jack heads to the floor to hide after Matt swings again. Back in and Swagger takes Hardy to the mat and cranks on the arm a bit. Hardy comes back with a dropkick in the corner and a bulldog for two, only to go up and get shoved down to the floor. Back in and Swagger starts in on the arm but Hardy quickly escapes a key lock. A punch to Hardy’s arm blocks a clothesline and a big boot gets two for the champion.

Back to the key lock as Jack stays on the arm. He lifts Hardy off the mat by the arm a few times as the fans cheer for the challenger. Matt fights back but he’s basically fighting with one arm here. A bulldog puts Jack down for two and a middle rope elbow to Swagger’s back gets the same.

Hardy walks into a belly to belly suplex from Jack for two though and both guys are down. A DDT on the arm gets two for the champion but Matt blocks a belly to back superplex. Matt hits a decent looking moonsault for two and the fans are getting into these kickouts. The Twist is countered and Jack sends Matt shoulder and possibly head first into the post. The Swagger Bomb retains the title.

Rating: B-. Better match than I was expecting here with both guys looking good out there. Matt was getting close to being something decent as a singles guy and this was his way off ECW and onto Smackdown. Swagger would go on to win a world title and shock the world in the process before falling through the floor soon after. Solid opener here.

Orton arrives and gets glared at.

Women’s Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Melina

Melina is challenging and Beth has Santino with her here. Beth shoves her around to start before easily breaking out of a headlock. A LOUD Santino chant starts up as Beth throws Melina around. Melina comes back with a shot to the head but gets shoved down immediately again. The challenger hooks an armbar of all things but Beth easily stands up while Melina stands on her shoulder.

Melina gets on Beth’s shoulders again but Beth shoves her down in a crash. A running Umaga attack in the corner puts Melina down again and Beth is in full control. In a freaky looking move, Beth grabs Melina’s leg in a kind of ankle lock position and bends the leg forward to make Melina kick herself in the back of the head. FREAKING OW MAN! Melina escapes a gorilla press and fires off some forearms before getting two off a sunset flip. Two knees into Beth’s back have her staggered and a hair drag gets two. Out of nowhere, Melina grabs a spinning rollup for the pin and the title. As sudden as it sounds.

Rating: D+. Not terrible here and the girls looked good so I can’t complain much. That leg lock thing of Beth’s was SICK and it’s one of those moves that just looks painful all around. At the end of the day though, does it matter who has either of the female belts? They’re completely interchangeable and this one was retired the next year.

We recap JBL vs. Cena, which is basically the Shawn Michaels Story. Basically the story went that Shawn was crushed by the financial crash and JBL offered to hire him to help win the title. Shawn helped JBL win a #1 contenders match and the question is will he screw over Cena tonight and compromise his morals? There was a VERY real argument to be made for Shawn vs. JBL at Mania for the title, so this wasn’t a layup. The problem with this story is still there though: Shawn is a world class wrestler with the top company in the world….and he’s broke? He may have lost his savings but he’s not unemployed.

JBL tells Shawn is he wins the title tonight, Shawn is free with a huge payday and he can be in the Rumble tonight, which at the moment he isn’t. Bradshaw leaves and Taker shows up, saying that sometimes it’s a nightmare getting to Heaven.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Cena is defending in case you skipped the previous parts. We get the big match intros here and even a weapons check for old times’ sake. Cena takes him to the mat with a headlock to start but JBL counters into one of his own. A shoulder block puts JBL down and out to the floor as we take a breather. JBL whispers something to Shawn before heading back inside for some clubbing forearms to the back.

Cena slams him down for two though and we’re still in the early stages. JBL heads to the floor again but this time Cena goes after him. He runs into Shawn though and stops cold, allowing JBL to get in a shot to take over. Shawn didn’t move at all. Back in with JBL in control and a standing clothesline gets two. Presumably that one was only from Hoboken.

Off to a chinlock from the challenger as we keep things at JBL’s slow pace. A side slam gets two on Cena and he rolls out to the apron. Layfield knocks him to the floor and then sends him into the stairs for two back inside. Cena fights out of a superplex attempt and hits the top rope Fameasser for two of his own. The champ initiates his finishing sequence with all of his usual stuff including the Shuffle. Shawn hasn’t been a factor in the first nine minutes or so of the match.

JBL escapes the AA but gets caught in the STF instead. Shawn starts grabbing the ropes but doesn’t do anything. Cena lets go of the hold anyway, allowing JBL to kick Cena to the floor. JBL’s Clothesline gets two so he glares at Shawn for some reason. A quick AA attempt misses and JBL kicks the referee down by mistake. The Johns double clothesline each other and it’s time for the big moment.

Shawn gets in the ring and is staring at both guys. Both guys get up and Shawn superkicks John. As in the challenger/him employer. He also kicks the champion/the guy he was hired to take out before leaving. Shawn puts JBL’s arm across Cena, causing the fans to chant for the champ. Another referee comes out and gets a two count for Layfield and both guys get up. Cena hits a quick AA on JBL to retain.

Rating: C-. The match itself was pretty dull but the drama worked well enough to make up for it. At the end of the day, JBL simply wasn’t good enough at this point to hang in a world title match. Cena had to tone it WAY down to let JBL keep up with him and it showed badly. Still though, Shawn more than makes up for it and would go on to have a masterpiece with Taker at Mania so all is well and good.

We recap Edge vs. Hardy. Hardy shocked the world (including me) at Armageddon by winning the title, but a few weeks later he started having a string of “accidents” including having pyro go off in his face and nearly getting killed by a crazy driver. Everyone blamed Edge but he denied responsibility. The question is who is behind all this stuff. Hardy hasn’t had a match that I know of in the meantime. I went to a house show during this period and Hardy didn’t wrestle.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Jeff Hardy

Vickie makes it No DQ for no apparent reason and Chavo is in Edge’s corner because he’s familia. Jeff spears Edge into the corner to start and pounds away as fast as he can. The fans almost immediately start chanting WE WANT CHRISTIAN. Now remember that line as I’ll get back to it later on. Christian had left TNA and word hadn’t broken yet on if he had signed with WWE yet (I don’t think). Anyway, Jeff tries to bring in a chair but Edge kicks it out of his hands before it gets inside.

Hardy pounds away but Edge gets in a shot to take over for the first time. Edge sends him to the floor but can’t hit a baseball slide, allowing Hardy to hit a clothesline off the apron. Back in and Jeff tries a springboard but gets kicked down to the floor for the third time. Edge rams him into various hard objects including tables and the barricade and then another table.

We head back inside again with Edge in full control including a spear in the corner. Jeff grabs a quick two off a sunset flip but gets clotheslined right back down. Off to a body vice by Edge to slow things down a bit. Jeff fights up and hits a mule kick before going up top, only to jump into a dropkick from Edge for two. Now Edge goes to get two chairs but Jeff spears him down off the apron before it can be brought in.

Edge gets back to the apron but gets pulled down into a Twist of Fate onto said apron, sending both guys down onto the floor. Since it’s Jeff vs. Edge, here’s a ladder. Jeff spreads Edge out on the table but Chavo climbs up to slow Jeff down. Edge moves, so Jeff hits a HUGE splash to put Chavo through the table instead. Back in and Jeff gets two off a high cross body. Edge gets up first and pulls a buckle off, only to get caught in the Whisper in the Wind for two.

Out of nowhere Edge counters the Twist into a DDT for a very close two. We’re pretty clearly in the final stages of this match which means it’s getting awesome. Edge counters the slingshot dropkick into a kind of hot shot into the exposed buckle for ANOTHER two. The spear is countered into a Twist of Fate so Jeff goes up. After kicking Vickie away, the Swanton hits but Vickie pulls the referee out. Cue Matt to send Vickie into the ring and pick up a chair. To the shock of a lot of people, Matt cracks Jeff with the chair to give Edge of all people the world title.

Rating: B. This too awhile to get going but once they hit their stride they started acting like Edge and Jeff Hardy in a big match. The No DQ stuff wasn’t needed here but it made things work a bit better. At the end of the day, these two work best when they can turn off the rules and go nuts, which is what they did here.

Now remember earlier that I mentioned Christian. He was originally supposed to be in Matt’s spot, setting up a reunion with Edge. However, WWE felt the fans figured this out so we got Matt in his place. This also happened in 2012 with Sheamus winning the Rumble instead of Jericho. Based on this theory, Shawn should have kept the title at Wrestlemania 14 because almost everyone knew that Austin was winning.

That makes no sense and I don’t get what they think this is accomplishing. It didn’t work out well for Russo and it won’t work out for the WWE. Matt vs. Jeff didn’t work at the end of the day, mainly because I don’t think people wanted to see them fight. I’ll give them this: they did come up with a logical reason for Matt to turn so it’s not a terrible idea. It just wasn’t the best option they had.

Orton says he’ll win. Jericho pops in to thank Orton for punting Vince on Monday but Randy will probably get fired for it.

Rumble by the numbers which is roughly the same as the previous year.

Royal Rumble

Mysterio is #1 and Morrison is #2. Rey kicks him in the face a few times to start but gets put on the apron for trying his sitout bulldog. A springboard cross body puts Morrison down and there’s a big headscissors to take Morrison down. John gets sent to the apron but hangs on by the top rope, even when Mysterio dropkicks him in the ribs. Carlito is #3 and is the second tag champion in here along with Morrison. Those titles would be unified at Mania.

Rey tries a standing moonsault but gets caught in a modified swinging neckbreaker instead. Carlito hits a gorgeous double jump moonsault to take Morrison down and stomping ensues. MVP, currently on a winning streak after losing forever, is #4. There’s Ballin on Morrison and a facebuster to Carlito. Rey get sent to the apron but he saves himself almost immediately.

Great Khali with the awesome dance music is #5. Everybody gets a chop and Khali poses a bit. Mysterio tries to springboard onto him and Carlito tries a Backstabber, both to no avail. Kozlov is #6 and immediately headbutts Khali out by himself. MVP misses a running kick in the corner and he’s gone too (BIG heat on Vlad for that). Carlito is gone after jumping into a spinebuster and Mysterio looks to be up next, but heeeeeeeeeere’s HHH at #7.

Since no one else can get a good match out of Kozlov, you know HHH is going to try his hand at him. They stare each other down and Kozlov hits the headbutt to take him down. The facebuster stuns Kozlov and HHH throws him out wise ease. It’s HHH, Morrison and Mysterio in there at the moment with Rey chilling in the corner. The knee to the face puts Morrison down and Orton is #8.

The battle of Evolution continues and the backbreaker puts HHH down. Both finishers are countered with Morrison breaking up the Pedigree. Rey hits a seated senton on Orton and the 619 on Morrison before JTG is in at #9. Orton tries to put Mysterio out as people start pairing off. Ted DiBiase, as in one of Orton’s lackeys, is #10. Mysterio and DiBiase immediately fight to the apron with Rey doing some gymnastics to stay alive.

Jericho is #11 and goes right for Orton. He can’t get him out so there’s a Lionsault to HHH instead. Jericho is knocked to the apron and Mike Knox is #12. Orton and DiBiase focus on JTG as Knox beats on Rey. HHH saves the masked dude for no apparent reason and Miz is #13. He goes right after JTG and hits something like the Skull Crushing Finale before going after the Game.

Morrison and Mysterio team up on Orton but John and Miz both take RKOs. There’s one for JTG but HHH hits a Pedigree to stop Randy dead. HHH dumps Miz and Morrison to prove how awesome he is and Finlay is #14. Jericho backdrops Mysterio to the floor but he lands on Morrison and hops onto Miz to get back to the ring. Finlay beats on everyone in the ring until Cody Rhodes, the other of Orton’s goons, is #15.

We currently have Mysterio, HHH, Orton, JTG, DiBiase, Jericho, Knox, Finlay and Rhodes. Legacy (the collective name of the trio) starts picking off people one at a time, starting with Finlay. They don’t actually put anyone out but they get to beat on everyone at least. Rey dives at Orton but gets caught in an RKO in a nice counter. The Undertaker is #16 and here come the punches. His only victim at this point is JTG to clear the ring out a bit.

Goldust of all people is in at #17 and immediately goes for DiBiase. Rhodes pulls his real life brother (Goldust) off so Goldie sends him to the apron a few times. That’s as far as he can get though as an RKO puts Goldust down and Rhodes gets to dump him out. Punk is #18 and happens to be the IC Champion at this point. There’s a GTS for HHH as RKO works on Y2J. Mysterio gets sent to the apron by Knox and Finlay works on Taker.

Mark Henry is #19 and throws a lot of people around but can’t get anybody out. Shelton Benjamin is #20 to fill the ring up even more. Jericho and Punk go up top for no apparent reason other than for Shelton to charge the corner and hit a kind of double DDT to bring them both back down. Billy Regal is #21 and goes right for Punk, who beat him for the IC Title a week or so again.

Mysterio dumps Henry off camera to thankfully get someone out of the ring. HHH is upside down in the corner but he winds up sitting on the apron. Here’s Kofi at #22 to speed things up as well as he can with so many people around him. Taker dumps Benjamin and Kane is #23. After beating up a few people he stares his brother down before they start working together to chokeslam some people.

Punk pulls Regal out and brags about it without getting thrown out. R-Truth is #24 and nothing happens. Rob Van Dam makes a one night only return at #25 after not having been seen in the WWE in about a year and a half. That at least wakes the crowd up but there are too many people in there for his style of stuff to work. He loads up the Five Star but Truth is too close so he has to bail out in mid air.

The Brian Kendrick is #26 back when he was actually a big deal. To show how big he is, he manages to dump Kofi and get thrown out by HHH in about fifteen seconds. Dolph Ziggler gets lucky #27 but only lasts about six seconds longer than Kendrick with Kane getting the point. Your future World Heavyweight Champion ladies and gentlemen. Santino is #28 and breaks Warlord’s record of two seconds in the Rumble by being clotheslined out by Kane before he can even stand up straight.

Jim Duggan makes his token Rumble appearance at #29 and he punches everything in sight, including knocking the Dead Man down. Big Show is #30, giving us a final group of Mysterio, HHH, Orton, DiBiase, Jericho, Knox, Finlay, Rhodes, Undertaker, Punk, Kane, R-Truth, RVD, Duggan and Big Show, or half the field in the entire match. Nearly everyone goes after him at once but it’s Duggan that gets tossed instead.

Jericho tries to put a sleeper on Show but it gets about as far as you would expect. Taker throws Punk to the apron as Show dumps Truth. Punk fires off some kicks and hangs on three times so Show finally knocks him out cold and out to the floor. Show knocks out Knox and Mysterio as Horny gets in for no apparent reason. Finlay tries to save him and gets dumped for his efforts at good parenting.

Jericho hits a Codebreaker on Kane and Orton hits the Elevated DDT on HHH. Taker and Show have their required staredown and RVD hits the Five Star on Orton. Jericho comes up behind Van Dam to dump him while Rob holds his ribs. That’s his last WWE appearance to date. Chris turns around and sees Taker who tosses him with glee. Legacy teams up to put Kane out and we’re down to Taker, Big Show, HHH and Legacy.

The trio surrounds Undertaker as HHH gets chokeslammed. Taker does the same to most of Legacy so the giants punch each other a lot until Show gets knocked to the apron and hangs on with his feet flying off the apron. THAT was cool. Not that it matters anyway as he gets RKO’ed out a few moments later but it still looked good. Show pulls Taker to the floor a minute later because that’s how he rolls.

So as people expected at the time, it’s HHH vs. Legacy for the Rumble. Taker and Show fight into the crowd for no apparent reason. HHH goes after Rhodes first but the numbers catch up with him. He gets beaten down and Orton says pick him up. The RKO is countered though and HHH sends Orton to the apron. There goes DiBiase and Rhodes follows, but Orton sneaks up on HHH and throws him out to win the Rumble.

Rating: D. This was one of the weaker Rumbles there’s ever been. For one thing, it was clear that Orton was going to win no matter what happened. Second and probably more important, they got caught in the classic Rumble trap of having WAY too many people in there at once. They didn’t even try the three act structure here and it showed badly. That’s something Pat Patterson was absolutely amazing at and he was gone by this point.

Overall Rating: C-. It’s clear that the company was in a transitional period here and that makes this a hard one to get through. There’s enough good stuff here to check it out, but it’s nothing worth going out of your way to see. The only really solid match is Edge vs. Hardy and even that is nothing really worth seeing. This is a rare instance where the Rumble didn’t dictate how the show went as the rest of it is a far easier sit than the Rumble itself.

Ratings Comparison

Jack Swagger vs. Matt Hardy

Original: B

Redo: B-

Melina vs. Beth Phoenix

Original: C-

Redo: D+

John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Original: C

Redo: C-

Edge vs. Jeff Hardy

Original: B-

Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: D

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: B+

Redo: C-

So let me get this straight: every match is literally within a single grade of the original but the original is nearly two grades higher? Dang I was REALLY feeling generous that day. A show with an hour long match that gets a D doesn’t sound like a B+ overall to me.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/28/royal-rumble-count-up-2009-the-voices-tell-me-no-one-but-orton-has-a-chance/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Royal Rumble 2002
Date: January 20, 2002
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 12,915
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is a show that is rather fondly remembered by some but I don’t recall it being anything special. Maybe it holds up better over time, which has certainly been the case before. The big appeal is the return of HHH, who is back in the ring after about eight months away following the famous quadriceps injury. Let’s get to it.

We open with a look back at some classic Royal Rumble endings. This transitions into a look at HHH returning. In case you thought they were hiding the obvious winner, they aren’t trying in the slightest.

Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Spike Dudley/Tazz

The Dudleys, with Stacy Keibler, are challenging and they jump the champs to start. The reverse 3D drops Tazz on the floor, leaving Spike, in a neck brace, on his own. Another reverse 3D hits Spike inside and there’s another neckbreaker to put him down again. A suplex makes it even worse as Tazz is on the apron.

Spike slips out of another suplex and hits the Dudley Dog but D-Von cuts off a tag. One heck of a double flapjack (JR mentions the Midnight Express) sets up a middle Swan Dive from D-Von and the Dudleys clothesline each other by mistake. Tazz comes in o clean house with the suplexes but stops to Tazmission Stacy. Spike gets thrown over the top for a nasty crash to the floor, leaving Tazz to get the Tazmission on D-Von to retain at 5:07.

Rating: C. This is one of those instances where they were trying to do something different and I get the thinking, but Spike and Tazz as the best tag team around just didn’t work very well. They were certainly trying and there was a story here, but it this could have been on any given Raw and felt as unimportant. Points for trying, though it didn’t click.

We recap Edge defending the Intercontinental Title against William Regal, who has bee using the brass knuckles. Edge fought back with a chair to break his nose, so now it’s time to fight for good.

Edge has his chair and is ready to fight the Devil, who is going to get burned.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. William Regal

Edge is defending. We get the old weapons check on Regal…and the referee finds the brass knuckles. You don’t see that very often. I mean, it happens every time I watch this match but that’s probably just an odds thing. Edge starts fast and hammers away as Lawler thinks the referee planted the brass knuckles in Regal’s trunks. Regal comes back with a shot to the face to take over and adds some jumping knees to the face.

The cross arm choke has Edge in more trouble but he suplexes his way to…well not freedom as Regal holds on and hits a tiger bomb for two. They head to the apron where Edge grabs a DDT onto the apron for a rather delayed two, despite his legs being underneath the ropes. Back up and they collide for a double knockdown, followed by Edge grabbing a suplex for two more. Regal shows him how to do a much better suplex so Edge nails a hard clothesline.

A quick Regal Stretch has Edge in trouble, sending him over to the ropes. Naturally Edge grabs the same hold and of course Regal goes right back to the ropes for a break of his own. A top rope spinwheel kick (that always looks good) connects but Regal pulls out even more brass knuckles (How did the referee not notice those?). The spear takes out the referee by mistake and Regal knocks Edge cold for the title at 9:45.

Rating: C+. This was a bit better than the opener but it still felt like something that could have been on a regular television show. The stuff with the brass knuckles was a nice touch though, with Regal being the kind of person to have multiple weapons just in case. Edge would be on his way to some far bigger and better things going forward, not the least of which would be a nice shampoo commercial.

Post match Regal brags about being blessed with the Power Of The Punch. JR: “He’s a liar!”

Women’s Title: Jazz vs. Trish Stratus

Stratus, with a bad hand, is defending and Jacqueline is guest referee. Jazz starts fast and fires off a backdrop, setting up a splash (JR: “Right on the purple puppies!” Lawler: “Hey, that’s my line! Right on the purple puppies!”) for two. Another knockdown lets Jazz start in on the hand but it’s time to argue with Jacqueline. Some shoving ensues and Jacqueline counts a VERY slow two off a rollup. A quick Stratusfaction gives Stratus two but Jazz is back with a DDT for the same. Back up and Jazz charges into a boot in the corner, setting up a bulldog to give Stratus the retaining pin at 3:43.

Rating: C-. I’m not sure how much Jacqueline added here as she was little more than a familiar face who didn’t really do anything for the ending. Maybe it’s a way to give Stratus a chance, but it wasn’t exactly a good match and felt like it could have been on TV. In other words, it was the women’s division in 2002.

Ric Flair’s family is here for his street fight.

We recap Vince McMahon vs. Ric Flair. Back in November, Flair debuted as the new co-owner of the WWF, leading to a not so great business relationship. They hate each other so they’re having a street fight. Naturally Vince dressed up as Flair because that’s one of his favorite deals. Then he beat Flair up with a pipe a bunch of times. This is WAY longer of a recap than this match probably needs.

Ric Flair vs. Vince McMahon

Street fight. They circle each other to start and Vince shoves him down, meaning it’s time to pose. Flair goes for the grappling to take over but gets taken into the corner for some shots to various places. They go outside with McMahon bending a KEEP OFF sign over Flair’s head. Some trashcan shots have Flair busted open as this has been pretty much all Vince so far.

The beating continues with Vince grabbing a camera to take a picture of the bloody Flair but Flair’s daughter takes it away. Back inside and Vince starts in on the leg with some cranking before the required Figure Four. With that broken up, Vince grabs the lead pipe but Flair hits him low for the needed breather.

Flair knocks him outside and gets in a monitor shot to the head to bust Vince open. The beating takes Vince around the ring to Flair’s daughter, who takes pictures with the camera from earlier (nice touch). There’s another low blow and now Flair has the pipe. The big shot to the head sets up the Figure Four and Vince gives up at 14:58.

Rating: B. This was a match where they didn’t go anywhere away from the most basic route and that’s what it should have been. Vince attacked him to start and tried to humiliate him, only for Flair to fight back and do the exact same things to him. Flair then beat him with a wrestling hold because he’s the better man and the fans got behind him throughout. It’s a match that Flair can do in his sleep and it worked well here. Good stuff and by far the best part of the show so far.

Nick Patrick has no idea what he thought of the William Regal title win but Stephanie McMahon comes in. She dismisses Patrick and promises that HHH will destroy everyone. It’s a shame Steve Austin’s wife Debra won’t be there, but Austin pops up behind her for the WHAT treatment (when it was still new). With Stephanie gone, Austin does a lot of WHATing about winning the Royal Rumble.

We recap Chris Jericho defending the WWF Title against the Rock. They had been feuding before Jericho won the title and now they’re doing it again after he won. Rock has made it clear that he’s taking Jericho seriously because this isn’t a joke. Then he said “tick tock, tick tock” a bunch.

WWF Title: Chris Jericho vs. The Rock

Jericho is defending and talks trash to start, meaning the beating is on in a hurry. The Samoan drop gives Rock an early two so Jericho bails out to the floor. Back in and the flying forearm takes Rock down but he avoids a charge into the post. Jericho is fine enough to hit the spinwheel kick for two and of course he complains about the count. The arrogant cover gets two and the missile dropkick connects for the same.

We hit the chinlock for a good while before Jericho goes up, only to get caught by some right hands. A superplex brings Jericho back down and they both need a breather. Back up and Rock hammers away, with his belly to belly throw getting two. Jericho is right back with the bulldog into a pair of Lionsaults for two but dives into the Sharpshooter.

Cue Lance Storm for a distraction as Jericho is tapping, leaving Rock to have to fight off an invading Christian. Jericho’s Rock Bottom gets two as the other Canadians are ejected but a counterfeit People’s Elbow is broken up. They fight out to the floor and Rock hits a heck of a Rock Bottom through the announcers’ table for a huge crash. Back in and Jericho countering another Rock Bottom into the Walls, sending Rock over to the ropes.

The referee gets bumped and there’s a belt shot for two, with another referee running in for the count (If he saw the ref bump, how did he not see the belt shot ten seconds later?). Rock grabs a DDT but the new referee (Nick Patrick, who was screwy earlier in the Regal match) won’t count, earning himself a Rock Bottom. The spinebuster and Rock Bottom get…nothing as there’s no referee. Well Rock brought that on himself. Jericho hits him low and sends him into an exposed buckle for a rollup with feet on the ropes for the pin to retain at 18:49.

Rating: B+. Jericho was reaching a new level at this point and having long form pay per view matches with people on the Rock’s level was only going to help that. It had a lot of shenanigans at the end, but what matters is Jericho beat someone that important. Jericho was needing to make it last while it could though, as the major stars were on their way. Rock was in a weird place too, as he was so huge at this point that he needed something special and going after the title really didn’t feel that important. At least not here. Anyway, rather good match here as these two work together very well.

Don’t try this at home.

Shawn Michaels, in a very Texas shirt, is at WWF New York and loved the McMahon vs. Flair match. He’s got the Undertaker or Steve Austin in the Royal Rumble.

We recap the Royal Rumble, which is HHH’s to win by about a hundred miles, with Steve Austin, Undertaker and Kurt Angle as the other best options….but it’s going to be HHH. They really didn’t even bother trying to hide it, which sometimes can’t be avoided.

Royal Rumble

Two minute intervals with Rikishi in at #1 and the returning Goldust in at #2. The ring is mostly covered in gold confetti as Goldust hammers away, only to be knocked to the apron. This lets commentary explain the rules again, which is perfectly fine and a good way to get fans refreshed before things get crazy. Rikishi knocks him down into the corner and here is Big Boss Man in at #3 to get knocked into the corner as well. A running clothesline turns Rikishi inside out and the slow brawling ensues until Bradshaw is in at #4.

The Stinkface has Boss Man in trouble and that’s the first elimination. Bradshaw powerbombs Goldust and it’s Lance Storm in at #5. The lack of anything interesting continues as it’s just low level people hitting each other without much urgency. Al Snow is in at #6 to pick up the pace a bit (let that one sink in for a bit) and the Clothesline From Bradshaw knocks Storm silly (but not out).

Billy Gunn is in at #7 and is quickly booted in the face by Bradshaw. Snow and Storm fight to the apron with Storm being superkicked out, which is somehow the most exciting part of the match about ten minutes in. Goldust dumps Bradshaw and it’s the Undertaker in at #8 to likely clear out more than a few people. Undertaker cleans house and knocks out everyone else in the ring without much trouble, leaving him standing alone (the fans like it).

Matt Hardy is in at #9 and it goes about as well as you would expect, only for Lita (who Undertaker recently attacked) to dive in for a distraction. A low blow lets Matt get in a running neckbreaker but Undertaker slugs him away. Undertaker loads up a suplex but Jeff Hardy is in at #10 for the save and we get a Team Xtreme beatdown. With Lita on the floor, Undertaker fights back, only to get caught in the Twist Of Fate/Swanton. Poetry In Motion is a bad idea though as Jeff is thrown out, leaving Matt to take the Last Ride, setting up the easy elimination.

Undertaker is left alone and it’s Maven, from Tough Enough, in at #11 (unfortunately with his rather awesome song missing). Undertaker goes after Lita again though and the Hardys come in to jump him. The sore losers are thrown out again….and Maven eliminates Undertaker with a dropkick. This marks the all time high point of Maven’s career and is immediately followed by an absolute massacre, as Undertaker completely wrecks him, including a nasty chair shot to the head.

Maven is thrown back inside as Scotty 2 Hotty is in at #12 and is punched in the face on the way to the ring. The bloody Maven is thrown over the top for an elimination as the destruction continues. Undertaker knocks him through the crowd and into the concession area, where the bloody Maven (as Christian is in at #13) is sent through a popcorn machine. Christian lays over the top as Scotty finally gets in, which is a heck of a lot better than waiting around for someone else to enter.

Diamond Dallas Page is in at #14 and goes after Christian but gets superkicked to the floor (not out). That leaves Scotty to give Christian the Worm…and then get thrown out by Page. Chuck is in at #15 as we’re back to the lack of top level stars. Chuck and Page slug it out (and do better than you might expect) as the Godfather, now the owner of an escort service is back at #16.

This means bringing out twelve women for his entrance, including a lot of dancing (JR: “Well he did give me a coupon earlier today…” Lawler: “HE’S GOT COUPONS!”) as we just stop watching the match. Page is eliminated off camera as Godfather goes back for more dancing. Godfather finally gets in and is promptly beaten down as Albert (the Hip Hop Hippo) is in at #17.

The villains fight up and knock out Albert and then Godfather, as this is still managing to stay slow. Perry Saturn is in at #18 and it’s more of the same generic brawling. We’re desperately needing someone to come in and spice things up….and Steve Austin is in at #19. Yeah that works, with Austin clearing the ring with three straight eliminations.

That doesn’t leave him anything to do, so he throws Christian and Chuck back in for another Stunner and toss over the top each. That’s the kind of thing Austin would do and it made him feel like so much more of a star because he was doing something extra other than just sitting around waiting. Val Venis (also returning) is in at #20 and actually takes over for a bit, which isn’t likely to last long. Indeed it doesn’t as Austin fights up, only to be jumped by Test, who is in at #21.

Austin fights up and eliminates them like they’re Val Venis and Test against Steve Austin in the Royal Rumble. That leaves Austin alone…and HHH is in at #22 for the mega showdown. They stare each other down and eventually slug it out until Hurricane is in at #23, as a double clothesline gives us a double knockdown. Hurricane tries a double chokeslam, giving us a funny look between Austin and HHH before they throw him out.

Faarooq is in at #24 and gets in a few shots before being tossed out as well. HHH and Austin get to fight some more and it’s the returning (we have a theme) Mr. Perfect in at #25 to quite the reaction. Perfect wisely takes his time getting in before going after Austin and punching HHH down. Things slow again until Kurt Angle is in at #26, with the fans knowing they’re in for some bigger stuff now.

For some reason Austin saves HHH from Angle, earning himself an overhead belly to belly. Big Show is in at #27 but the double chokeslam is broken up. Show fights back and tries a gorilla press on Angle, with HHH making the save. JR tries to explain that HHH feels Show is a bigger threat than Angle and….eh I guess I can take that. Show cleans house and chokeslams HHH but it’s Kane in at #28.

We get the big power showdown and Kane dumps Show, only to walk into a Stunner, allowing Angle to throw Kane out as well. Rob Van Dam is in at #29 with a Five Star to Angle and kicks to various people. Rolling Thunder hits Austin but HHH is back with a Pedigree, leaving everyone down. Booker T. is in at #30, giving us a final grouping of Austin, HHH, Perfect, Van Dam, Angle and Booker, who tosses Van Dam with no trouble.

The Spinarooni ensues…and so does a Stunner to get rid of Booker in about thirty seconds. Angle Angle Slams HHH and then rolls the German suplexes, only for Austin to get in a low blow. Austin is sent out to the apron but fights back…and is tossed by Angle and Perfect in something of a surprise exit.

We’re down to three and the beating continues on the floor. That doesn’t work for Austin, who comes back in with chair shots for everyone before leaving himself. Perfect is up with the PerfectPlex and Hennig necksnap to Angle, only for HHH to throw Perfect out. HHH takes Angle down and hammers away before getting in some choking. A backdrop sends HHH to the apron but he’s right back in with a facebuster and clothesline for the win at 1:09:25.

Rating: C+. I couldn’t get into this one for the most part, as there were just so many parts of low level names doing the bare minimum. It had some good parts, like the Undertaker vs. the Hardys, Maven’s destruction, HHH vs. Austin and most of Austin’s shenanigans, but those were feeling really far apart at times. It’s certainly not the worst Rumble, but HHH was the clear winner throughout and that made for a long stretch until we got to the ending.

Overall Rating: B-. This is a show that needed one more good match as the first three were just passable at best. The Flair vs. McMahon and Jericho vs. Rock matches were both worth a look and the Rumble was ok enough, but there just wasn’t much that stood out. The Rumble needed another viable winner, and with Undertaker out early and Austin just past his prime, it wasn’t there. Not a bad show at all, but there are far better options.

Ratings Comparison

Spike Dudley/Tazz vs. Billy and Chuck

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: C

William Regal vs. Edge

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: C+

Trish Stratus vs. Jazz

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C-

Ric Flair vs. Vince McMahon

Original: D+
2013 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: B

Chris Jericho vs. The Rock

Original: B+
2013 Redo: B
2025 Redo: B+

Royal Rumble

Original: C-
2013 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: B-
2013 Redo: B-
2025 Redo: B-

So most of the matches were lower but the overall rating was the same every time. In case you need any more proof that I used to be really bad at my job, here you go. The first three matches aren’t very good but they’re not as bad as I had said before.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Royal Rumble 1994
Date: January 22, 1994
Location: Providence Civic Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Attendance: 14,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Ted DiBiase

This is one of those shows where the good stuff is good but the bad stuff is REALLY bad. The main idea here is that someone has to stop Yokozuna, and it’s going to be one of three people: Bret Hart or Lex Luger who could get the shot by winning the Rumble, or the Undertaker who has a casket match against Yoko tonight for the title. Oh….this is going to be a long night. Let’s get to it.

Vince is on commentary here and gets to do his carnival barker stuff. The guy knows how to make a show sound exciting, I have to give him that. DiBiase comes out to do commentary with McMahon due to having to retire late in 1993 due to a bunch of injuries.

Tatanka vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Bigelow is in Ludvig Borga’s spot because Borga broke his ankle. Bigelow pounds on Tatanka to start and dropkicks him into the corner. Tatanka literally bounces off of Bigelow before coming back with a chop to take Bigelow down. A DDT puts Bam Bam down again but Tatanka goes up for a cross body, missing Bigelow by a mile. This is a REALLY hot start so far. Bigelow crushes Tatanka in the corner with a splash and things slow down somewhat.

Tatanka gets in a shot to the head and tries a top rope sunset flip, only to have Bam Bam sit on him. When all else fails, sit on the other guy. Off to a bearhug for about two minutes before Bigelow drops him with a shoulder block. Tatanka starts his war path thing so Bam Bam decks him in the head with an enziguri to drop him. The moonsault misses though and Tatanka goes up again, this time hitting the cross body for the pin.

Rating: C+. Shockingly hot opener here and if you cut the bear hug in half or so, this is a really solid match. They stuck to the formula really well here and the match was good as a result. This is one of the nice surprises in wrestling: on paper this sounded horrible but it turned out to be a pretty nice match. Good opener.

We recap the tag title match, which is a rare instance where it’s all about the challengers rather than the champions. Owen Hart was the only Hart Brother eliminated in the Survivor Series match against Shawn and his Knights, which ticked him off. Owen had been whipped into Bret on the apron and the distraction let Shawn roll Owen up for the pin.

This caused Owen to cut a heel promo, talking about how he was tired of being in Bret’s shadow and wanting a match with him to escape it. Bret of course said no, but instead offered to team up with Owen to get his brother his first championship. Owen talked about leading the team but seemed genuinely ok at this point. For some reason we also see the Quebecers losing the tag titles to the 1-2-3 Kid and Marty Jannetty for a single week for some reason.

The Harts talk about all the teams they’re going to give title shots to once they win the belts tonight.

Tag Titles: Bret Hart/Owen Hart vs. Quebecers

The Quebecers are managed by Johnny Polo, who would change his name to Raven in ECW. Pierre and Bret start things off with the challenger taking over. Off to Owen to work on the arm with his signature spinning counter to a wristlock. Off to Jacques and they botch something, but Owen hits a quick suplex to keep things on track. An enziguri gets two for Owen and it’s back to Bret.

After a bunch of rollups by Bret, everything breaks down and the Quebecers take over. Actually scratch that as Owen hits a kind of spear into a rollup for two and the Harts stand tall. It’s Bret vs. Jacques with Hart in control until it’s back to Owen for a gutwrench suplex for two. Bret comes back in, only to get powerslammed down by Pierre. A pair of knees to the back gets two and it’s back to Jacques.

That goes nowhere so Pierre comes in to jump into a boot. Owen comes back in and belly to bellys Jacques down before hooking the Sharpshooter. Pierre bulldogs Owen down for a fast save of course and it’s back to Pierre legally. Owen dropkicks both Quebecers down and it’s off to Bret again. For some reason both champions are allowed to stay in the ring for way too long. Pierre is atomic dropped to the floor, and now we get to the turning point of the match: Johnny Polo holds the ropes open to send Bret to the floor. Bret comes up holding his knee and he’s in big trouble.

Pierre rams the knee into the barricade to further the damage and the match turns into a kind of sloppy brawl on the floor. Owen finally throws Bret back into the ring and the leg work begins. Jacques puts on a half crab but Owen makes a fast save. The champions load up the Cannonball (kind of an aided Swanton) but Bret rolls away. Instead of tagging though, Bret tries the Sharpshooter….and the referee stops the match for the knee injury.

Rating: B-. This is one of those matches where you can look at it in multiple ways. From a match standpoint, it’s a standard tag match with the faces and heels doing exactly what they would be expected to do. On the other hand, the idea here was about setting up Owen’s heel turn, and the ending does that perfectly. There was no reason for Bret to not tag at the end and it sets Owen off as it should.

Post match Owen glares at Bret and paces back and forth. Bret manages to pull himself up but can barely stand up. Owen kicks the leg out, officially turning heel to HUGE booing. He leaves so here are some officials to come check on Bret. Ray Rougeau, a reporter for WWF at this point, comes out to interview Bret while he’s on his back in agony. For some reason that cracks me up.

Owen is in the back and goes on a huge tirade about how selfish Bret is and how Bret cost him the biggest match of his career. Bret is being carried to the back and has to watch this promo on the video screen. Owen’s face here is great as he unleashes all this pent up anger and frustration on Bret, saying he’ll win the Rumble because he doesn’t have to count on Bret. This would be the top feud for the next eight months or so.

Intercontinental Title: IRS vs. Razor Ramon

Guess who is defending here. JR and Gorilla Monsoon do commentary for this match. IRS goes on a big rant about how evil the crowd here is for not paying their taxes, even though they have about three months left to file. Razor goes off on IRS to start, knocking him out to the floor. IRS comes back with some forearms but Razor punches him right back down to take over again.

Ramon hits a bunch of basic stuff like atomic drops and clotheslines for some two counts, but IRS ducks under a clothesline to send Razor out to the floor. Back in and IRS goes up but jumps into a boot. For one of the only times I can EVER remember this happening, IRS avoids the foot and drops an elbow for two instead. WHY IS THAT SO HARD FOR PEOPLE TO DO???

We hit the chinlock for well over a minute before Razor fights up and hits the fallaway slam. The referee gets knocked out in the corner and IRS grabs his briefcase, only for Razor to take it back and clock him in the head with it. No referee though, so Razor loads up a belly to back superplex. There’s still no referee, so Razor sets for the Edge, only to have Shawn run out and clock him with the fake IC Title. IRS finally wakes up and pins Razor for the title.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t bad but the overbooking hurt it a lot. This should have lasted about three minutes less and it would have been a lot better. Oddly enough I don’t remember IRS being champion at all, but then again this is the remastered version so maybe they really cleaned things up.

Or maybe another referee comes out to explain the interference and the match is restarted. Razor hits the Edge to retain.

Bearer and Undertaker are making a coffin for Yoko.

We recap the world title match, which is Yoko being scared of Taker and Taker being one of the last hopes to stop the monster. Apparently the contract was signed before Yoko and company knew it was a casket match. Taker I believe debuted his popping out of the casket spot in this feud.

WWF World Title: The Undertaker vs. Yokozuna

They stare each other down to start and Taker fires off his uppercuts to stagger the champion. A clothesline puts Yoko down and another uppercut puts Yoko on the floor. Taker is sent into the steps and it’s immediately no sold, scaring Yoko to death again. There’s Old School but the jumping clothesline misses as Yoko ducks. Why does no one else ever think of doing that?

They fight over a chair on the floor which winds up going upside Yoko’s head. There’s a plastic chair to the back of the champion but Yoko grabs the trusty salt to blind Taker. Now it’s Taker’s back getting hit with the chair and we head back inside. A clothesline puts Taker down but he fights out of the casket. Taker wins a slugout in the middle of the ring but Yoko belly to belly suplexes him down. Come on. You know that’s not holding him down. Taker pops up and grabs Yoko by the throat and hits a DDT to put the champion down again.

Yoko is placed in the casket but here’s Crush to block Taker from closing it. Taker slugs him down so here’s Great Kabuki and Tenryu but Taker beats them down as well. Yoko is still out cold in the casket. Bam Bam Bigelow comes in now and it’s 4-1 in the ring. One has to wonder why Paul Bearer doesn’t go over and close the casket but this match doesn’t seem to be the most logical one. Fuji and Cornette have stolen the Urn.

Yoko finally gets out of the casket as Bearer beats up Fuji and Cornette, stealing the Urn back. He uses it to recharge Taker, who fights off all four mercenaries. Now it’s Adam Bomb to make it technically 8-1 but Taker fights everyone off with the salt bucket. Jeff Jarrett comes in as well, as do the Headshrinkers. That makes it NINE wrestlers (Yoko, Crush, Kabuki, Tenryu, Bigelow, Jarrett, Samu, Fatu, Adam Bomb) against Undertaker.

AND HE GETS UP. Diesel comes out and they get Taker in the coffin but he fights ALL OF THEM OFF. Yoko steals the Urn and hits Taker in the head with it before opening the Urn. Green smoke comes out of it and Taker now is powerless. Everyone hits a bunch of moves on him as this goes on WAY too long. After ALL THAT, Taker is put in the coffin and Yoko retains the title.

Rating: F. On a major wrestling show, The Undertaker just fought off ten men until green smoke was released to drain him of his power. I’ve seen Japanese anime that makes more sense than this. Oh and the match itself, as in the one on one part, might have gone about six minutes.

BUT IT GETS WORSE!

The heels all push the coffin away when a gong goes off. Smoke comes out of the casket…..and a FREAKING CAMERA FEED FROM INSIDE THE CASKET POPS UP ON THE SCREEN. Taker says his soul lives in everyone and he can’t be extinguished. He says there’s going to be a rebirth of the Undertaker and he won’t rest in peace. Then electrical noises go off and we get something like an inverse camera shot (as in it’s all in black and white but what is white is black and what is black is white).

Then, to REALLY hammer home the point, the image on the screen starts to rise up through the top of the screen (which should be the top of the casket, meaning it should be ramming into the people that put him in the freaking casket) and A FREAKING BODY RISES OUT OF THE TOP OF THE SCREEN. AS IN A TANGIBLE BODY (which might have been played by Marty Jannetty).

In other words, WWF just said Taker is something like Jesus. Oh and one other thing to really make sure this is stupid: YOU CAN’T SEE IT. All I can see are some quick shots of it when flashes go off. This is one of those things that embarrasses me as a wrestling fan. I mean…..WOW.

The usual Rumble interviews eat up some time.

Royal Rumble

Scott Steiner is #1 and Samu is #2. Also the intervals are every 90 seconds this year so the entrances will come in faster than ever. Scott pounds away to start and hits a butterfly suplex as Samu tries to hang on. He does indeed survive and kills Scott with a clothesline. Rick Steiner is #3 and Samu is in BIG trouble. After some suplexes he’s out very quickly (but not before getting his head caught in the top and middle rope which is always kind of scary looking), giving us the Battle of the Steiners.

That battle literally lasts six seconds as Kwang (Savio Vega in a mask, allegedly Asian here) is #4. Scott suplexes Kwang down and Owen Hart is #5 to BIG heel heat. The heels take over and Owen actually dumps Rick out. That’s one of the rare times where the constant pushing against the ropes worked. Bart Gunn is #6 and things speed up a bit. No one really does anything so here’s Diesel at #7. This is where things pick up as this match is without a doubt Diesel’s coming out party.

He beats on everyone and throws out Bart, Scott, Owen and Kwang inside of 45 seconds. Bob Backlund is #8 and immediately goes for the leg. He actually gets Diesel up against the ropes and upside down, but Diesel will have none of that. Who would believe these two would have a world title match in Madison Square Garden later in the year? Backlund is gone quickly. Billy Gunn is #9 and doesn’t even last fifteen seconds.

We cut to the back where Kabuki and Tenryu are destroying Lex Luger. After Diesel stands around for a bit, he has to throw out Virgil who is #10 in about thirty seconds (causing DiBiase to laugh loudly and get in some good verbal jabs). Note that the fans are LOUDLY chanting for Diesel here, who had NEVER gotten a reaction until this point. No one has been able to stand up to Diesel at all so far. #11 is Randy Savage. This should be a bit better challenge I’d think.

Savage goes right for him and pounds away on the big man in the corner before peppering him with jabs. He has Diesel in trouble but Jeff Jarrett is #12 to save the not yet Big Daddy Cool. We hear about Jarrett wanting to become WWF Champion so he’ll be a famous country singer in Nashville. And people wonder why he never got over until he completely changed everything about his character.

Savage is thrown to the apron by Jarrett but Randy comes back and eliminates Jeff with ease. Crush, who Savage HATES at this point, is #13. Diesel just kind of chills in the corner as Savage beats up Crush. The numbers finally catch up with Savage though until Crush eliminates him with ease. Doink is #14 and he gets beaten up as well but not tossed. Here’s his big rival Bam Bam Bigelow at #15 and it’s 3-1 now. Bigelow easily thorws the clown out ala the Spike Dudley throw from ECW.

Mabel is #16 and dang there are some big guys in there. He goes right for Diesel in a terrifying preview of Summerslam 95. Mabel cleans house until Sparky Plugg (Bob Holly as a racecar driver and debuting here as a replacement for the 1-2-3 Kid) is #17. Shawn Michaels is #18 and stares down Diesel to start. Everyone gets on Diesel and Shawn gives the final push to eliminate him. Diesel gets a VERY audible ovation and chant as he leaves.

Mo, Mabel’s totally useless partner, is #19. Nothing of note happens so here’s Greg Valentine in a one night only appearance at #20. Mabel misses a charge in the corner and Shawn is gorilla pressed by Crush but not eliminated for some reason. Tatanka comes in at #21. To recap we’ve got Plugg, Valentine, Tatanka, Mabel, Bigelow, Crush, Michaels and Mo in there. Valentine puts Michaels on the apron but can’t get him out.

Kabuki is #22 and almost everyone gangs up on Mabel to dump him out. It’s amazing how much easier it is to see with the big fat purple tub of goo out of there. Lex Luger (looking FINE after that attack like 15 minutes ago) is #23 and he cleans house. There are ten people in the ring right now but there goes Kabuki at the hands of Lex. Luger clotheslines Bigelow down and here’s Tenryu at #24.

There are WAY too many people in there right now. Like seriously, do we need FREAKING MO in there? Or Valentine? Those are bodies you could dump out and no one would care. Luger and Tenryu go at it as Shawn is almost dumped out. Bastion Booger is supposed to be #25 but he’s not here for some reason (Vince says it was supposed to be Bret Hart but more on that in a bit). I believe there are nine people in there at the moment so Booger not coming in was a good thing. Granted it was a good thing either way but you get the idea. Rick Martel is #26 and nothing happens.

For your big face pop of the match (other than Diesel): Bret Hart is #27 and limping very badly. Today, people would have a bandage on the knee and charge to the ring because modern wrestling is stupid. Fatu is #28 and DEAR FREAKING GOODNESS THROW SOMEONE OUT ALREADY! A bunch of guys team up and FINALLY throw Crush out as Marty Jannetty is #29. Naturally he goes right for Shawn and punches Shawn to the apron.

Adam Bomb is #30, giving us a ridiculous THIRTEEN FINAL PEOPLE in the Rumble. The final group is Bigelow, Sparky, Shawn, Mo (seriously, FREAKING MO?), Valentine, Tatanka, Luger, Tenryu, Martel, Hart, Fatu, Jannetty and Bomb. Bret saves Shawn (shocking I know) to dump out Sparky, thank goodness. Bret beats on everyone as we still need to get rid of more people. Everyone beats on everyone for awhile and nothing is happening. DiBiase: “The smart thing to do is go after Bret Hart’s knee.” Vince: “The smart thing to do is throw people out of the ring.” Did….did Vince just burn Ted Dibiase?

Martel dumps Valentine but is quickly dumped out by Tatanka. Luger throws out Bomb and Mo is FINALLY put out as well. Bigelow tosses Tatanka and Lex forearms Bam Bam out. Jannetty goes out to get us down to Luger, Hart, Fatu, Tenryu and Shawn. Tenryu rams Shawn and Fatu’s heads together which only hurts Shawn of course. Luger and Bret put out Tenryu and it’s Bret vs. Shawn (duh). Luger goes for Fatu’s head and gets superkicked for being stupid.

The heels put Luger on the apron but he fights them both off and clotheslines Fatu into a 360. Bret dumps Fatu and Luger dumps Shawn and we’re down to two. They slug it out and Luger picks up Bret, but they both fall out at the same time, giving us a double elimination to end the Rumble.

Rating: C+. This is a hard one to grade. The pacing is TERRIBLE with guys like Sparky Plugg and Mo staying in for over twenty minutes each, but the action is solid for the most part. The stuff with Diesel is excellent and it truly made him a star. The ending stuff once they got rid of about seven guys in 90 seconds was good too, but stuff in the middle didn’t work all that well.

Post match there’s a disagreement over who wins but both guys have their music played. This would lead to a somewhat complicated decision where there was a coin toss and two world title matches at Mania. This goes on for about eight minutes or so but it’s just the referees arguing and both guys saying they won. Replays don’t really show us anything either. They do a good job here of making it impossible to tell who won, unlike in 2005 when it was clear that one of them (I want to say Cena) hit first. They’re finally declared co-winners to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This show is one where it’s very hard to come up with an overall grade. I really liked the opener and the tag match and Rumble were both good, but when a show has what might be the dumbest moment in wrestling history (and that covers A LOT of stupid moments), it’s brought down a lot. Early 1994 was not a good time for the WWF but once they finally picked Bret as the guy, things got a lot better.

Ratings Comparison

Tatanka vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Original: B

Redo: C+

Quebecers vs. Bret Hart/Owen Hart

Original: A+

Redo: B-

Razor Ramon vs. IRS

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Yokozuna vs. Undertaker

Original: F

Redo: F

Royal Rumble

Original: B

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: C-

DANG I liked this show a lot better on the first viewing.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/13/royal-rumble-count-up-1994/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

It’s that time of year again as I’ll be looking back at the history of the Royal Rumble, with a review of the 1988 show going up on December 26 with one new edition each day until the 2025 edition on February 1.  As usual, I’ll be redoing at least two editions of the show and you get to pick one.  I’ll be doing the 2024 edition, plus whichever you vote for me to do.  All are available, save for the following, which I’ve ever done recently or too often:

1992

2001

2014

2023

Vote in the comments below and pick which Royal Rumble I redo!

KB

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/breaking-cm-punk-reportedly-suffered-serious-injury-royal-rumble/

Yes, again. So Punk apparently got hurt at some point during the Royal Rumble. While it isn’t confirmed, it is speculated to be a torn triceps, which would put Punk out of action for most of the rest of the year. Punk is apparently set to address the injury this week on Raw, which is likely not going to be the best news.

I’m a big Punk fan but my goodness this can’t keep happening. At the end of the day, this is yet another major injury that is likely to keep Punk out of the ring for months. He’s in his mid-40s and that does not exactly suggest a bright future. It wouldn’t shock me if he wants to come back for one more big moment, but how many special returns can he have? On top of that, how is WWE supposed to be willing to put him in a top spot if his body keeps breaking down like this? It’s sad to see, but it’s also the kind of situation where reality has to set in at some point.