Monday Night Raw
Date: June 30, 2014
Location: XL Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

Things have changed after last night’s Money in the Bank show but it was pretty much what people expected. John Cena won the World Title while Seth Rollins became Mr. Money in the Bank. I can’t help but think Cena’s reign is just until we get to Summerslam where Brock can destroy him and take the title. Battleground is in three weeks so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the ladder matches last night.

Here’s the Authority to get things going. Stephanie says she was born in Hartford before going into a discussion of Daniel Bryan’s announcement last night. However, the Authority is about the future going forward, much like Seth Rollins who became Mr. Money in the Bank. HHH talks about John Cena winning the ladder match and proving that he’s an A+ player.

Cena comes out to the usual reaction with the titles wrapped around his neck like an untied scarf. Stephanie gets cut off so John can say the Authority won’t give Bryan a title shot but Cena would love to. That starts up a huge YES chant but Stephanie has a different question. She asks how many people here are gamers. The reason she asks is because Cena is going to be on the cover of the WWE 2K15 video game. The banner unfolds and Stephanie dances to Cena’s music in a cute bit.

Cena says that’s very nice but hang on a minute. The Authority are being way too nice to him because he saw them right after he won those titles. He shows us a shot of them looking crushed after the match ended but Stephanie says it was because of Randy Orton’s injuries. Cena says that’s because they have Orton in their pocket, just like Seth Rollins.

HHH tries to talk like a Dr. of Thuganomics (seriously) before saying all this can go away really fast if Cena doesn’t do it with respect. Cena would rather do it the hard way if it means doing it by himself. HHH says he’d have it no other way, which is why Cena is defending the title in a fourway at Battleground.

After Stephanie explains the rules, HHH announces Kane, Orton and Roman Reigns. Just for fun, tonight let’s have Cena/Reigns vs. Kane/Orton. Cena says he’ll earn the titles again at Battleground and brings up Stephanie being thrown in the pool of whatever that was last week. Cena goes to leave but HHH says that if Cena survives the fourway, there’s always a plan B. Rollins comes out next to Cena, briefcase in hand.

Seth Rollins vs. Rob Van Dam

Van Dam quickly sends Seth outside before a big kick to the head staggers Rollins again. Rob fires off some shoulders to the back before putting on an old school abdominal stretch. He switches it up to a freaky looking double leg lock but Rollins makes the ropes and heads outside as we go to a break. Back with Van Dam hammering away but getting tripped into a half crab.

Rob injured his leg last night so there’s actually additional some psychology to this. Ropes are quickly grabbed and Van Dam comes back with clotheslines and a kick to the face, setting up Rolling Thunder for two. The split legged moonsault to Rollins’ back gets two but he grabs a legdrag to take over again. Rollins loads up the buckle bomb but Rob counters into a hurricanrana into the corner. The Five Star is ready but Rollins rolls to the floor, only to get taken down by a big dive from the top. As they come back in, Rollins twists the knee again to set up the curb stomp for the pin at 11:45.

Rating: B-. This worked really well and was one of Van Dam’s best matches in a very long time. He was actually doing stuff other than just the regular moveset so the match worked much better than usual. Rollins getting a win over a former World Champion is always a good thing and the match was a solid effort.

Post match Rollins says the briefcase proves him right over Ambrose because this is his golden ticket. Ambrose pops up on screen and says from one scumbag to another that this isn’t over. Plan A failed miserable last night when Rollins’ daddy had to send Uncle Kane out to save him. It might be more fun this way because Ambrose is going to be right there every time Rollins tries to cash in. That briefcase doesn’t have a contract inside because it’s full of TNT. Every time Rollins tries to case in, it’s going to blow up in his face.

Here are Rusev and Lana with something to say. Lana wants the USA chants to stop and talks about how there is only one superpower. She asks who will be the next American to try to stop him and Rusev speaks some Russian. The answer is the one that should have been here months ago: Jack Swagger.

Colter goes on a great rant about how Boris and Natasha can say this in America because they’re taking advantage of the Freedom of Speech. Lana said that nothing can stop the Rusev Crush but Colter thinks a Real American could do it. WE THE PEOPLE gets the loudest reaction of Swagger’s career and the boys are ready to go but Lana stops him. A LET’S GO SWAGGER chant starts and Rusev tries to get in a cheap shot. Swagger comes back with some armdrags of all things and the Russians bail.

Sheamus/Usos vs. Wyatt Family

Jey and Rowan get things going and a clothesline sends Jey to the floor and use to a very quick break. Back with Rowan cranking on Jimmy’s neck before Bray hits his running splash in the corner. Jimmy finally comes back with a Whisper in the Wind to Harper, allowing for the hot tag to Sheamus. Rowan gets sent to the apron for the ten forearms to the chest until Harper makes a save. Sheamus dives off the top to take the Family down before powerslamming Erick in the ring.

Wyatt offers a distraction though and Rowan sends Sheamus to the floor. Harper kicks Sheamus’ head off and the Wyatts take over. Rowan gets two off a splash and puts on the double fist head squeeze. It’s back to Bray who runs into a boot but knocks Sheamus out to the floor. A JBL chant starts up because the fans are bored I guess. Back in and Harper superkicks Sheamus down for two as the announcers ignore the crowd for a change.

Sheamus finally grabs the Irish Curse on Harper and makes the tag off to Jey as house is cleaned. A big dive takes Harper out and a pair of kicks to the face get two. Sheamus Brogue Kicks Rowan down and Jey hits a dive to take him out. Bray plants Sheamus with a release Rock Bottom and avoids a superkick from Jimmy, allowing Harper to hit the discus lariat for the pin at 13:07.

Rating: C+. Good but not great match here as the Wyatts will get another shot at the titles in theory. Harper continues to blow my mind every time he’s out there, but Bray makes me sad. The guy’s incredible push in the spring has been totally wasted and he hasn’t won anything of note in months. He isn’t being depushed but he just needs to do SOMETHING.

Stephanie interrupts Nikki Bella in the back and puts the Bellas in a tag match against the Funkadactyls. Since Brie is gone though, it just has to be a handicap match.

Here’s Bo Dallas who asks for sixty seconds of silence for Bad News Barrett and Daniel Bryan who can’t compete at the moment. He actually kneels for about sixty seconds before showing us a clip of him interacting with Bryan on last night’s pre-show. We go into the next match with Bo still on the stage.

Nikki Bella vs. Funkadactyls

Cameron gets things going as the announcers try to get bomb.com over as a catchphrase. Nikki fights off Cameron to start because even Nikki is better than she is. Naomi comes in with a huge high cross body and the reverse DDT for the pin at 1:35.

The Funkadactyls are about to fight post match.

We look at Barrett’s shoulder being injured, which will put him out for several months. The Intercontinental Title is now vacant and will be decided in a battle royal at Battleground. This brings out Paul Heyman for his usual talking points and to introduce Cesaro as the first entrant in the battle royal.

Cesaro vs. Kofi Kingston

Cesaro now has a black robe. Kofi is in the battle royal as well and comes out with a bad limp. Cesaro slams Kingston down with ease but gets sent to the floor for a BIG flip dive. Back in and a springboard gets caught in a Cesaro backbreaker. We hit the chinlock on Kofi before Cesaro hammers away, only to get rolled up for two as we take a break. Back….and the match ended during the break? Apparently that’s the case so we’ll say it ended at about 7:30.

Rating: D+. I don’t remember this happening in about the last ten years or so but it opens up a few more possibilities. I guess they’re pushing the App and to be fair this was a meaningless match so I don’t mind that I didn’t see how the fall took place. Kofi winning is a surprise, even though I have no idea how he won.

Cesaro DESTROYS Kofi with a hard throw into the crowd, Swiss Death, a throw over the table that wipes Cole out, and about 15 postings in a row. A replay shows that Kofi won with a rollup out of an electric chair.

Santino is having a party but no one showed up. Adam Rose and his Party shows up with a case of Twisted Tea, which I guess is a sponsor.

Damien Sandow comes out as Vince McMahon and does one heck of an impression. He hits all of the catchphrases and has the voice down perfectly. Sandow is in the Intercontinental Title battle royal but Stephanie interrupts and freaks out on Damien. He gets to face a giant also in the battle royal right now.

Great Khali vs. Damien Sandow

Chop, pin, four seconds.

It’s time for the return of a former WWE Champion and it’s….the Miz. He brags about being in Marine 4 and says he’s back to prove everyone wrong. People have called him a fluke but he’s here to show them that he isn’t a fluke. Miz isn’t leaving until he main events Wrestlemania again and people are begging him not to go. He’s finally cut off by the returning Chris Jericho in the real surprise. Miz rants about being the Marine and a huge star but gets taken down by a Codebreaker. Jericho says that felt great but we’ve got Wyatts. A triple team beatdown sets up Sister Abigail to leave Jericho laying.

Fandango vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler tries to start fast but gets sent into the corner and dropped face first onto the mat for two. Fandango gets a kiss from Layla but Dolph hammers away with right hands. Summer, looking great in a pink dress, comes to the ring and kisses Ziggler who does the same right back. Fandango isn’t sure what to do so it’s the Zig Zag for the pin at 2:36.

Ryback/Curtis Axel vs. Stardust/Goldust

Goldust hammers on Axel to start but Ryback gets in a cheap shot from the apron to take over. We hit the chinlock on Goldust for a bit before he counters the Meat Hook with a spinebuster. The hot tag brings in Stardust who cleans with clotheslines all around plus a springboard dropkick. A downward spiral is enough for the pin on Axel at 3:00.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here again as Goldust and Stardust are already getting dull. I do like Cody getting a new finisher but it would have been nice if it was something a bit less generic. Ryback and Axel have lost every bit of their momentum from winning all of those matches against Goldust and whoever he had as a partner.

Here’s Paige with something to say. People have been telling her that she needs to go back down to NXT because she isn’t ready to be a champion but she has proven everyone wrong. This brings out the returning AJ Lee who says she wants to prove that she can get the title back. She congratulates Paige on being champion but Paige won’t shake her hand due to it being exactly what Paige did in her debut. The Title is on the line right now.

Divas Title: AJ Lee vs. Paige

Paige takes her into the corner to start and poses a bit. She shouts that this is her house now but gets small packaged out of nowhere to give AJ the title back at 1:00.

John Cena/Roman Reigns vs. Kane/Randy Orton

Cena and Orton get things going and the fans are already on John. Feeling out process to start with Cena getting the better of it. Reigns comes in and Orton bails to the corner for the power showdown. Kane is sent to the floor and we take our last break. Back with Reigns in trouble and Orton cranking on a chinlock. Kane gets in a few shots but Reigns nails a clothesline to start a comeback.

It only lasts a few seconds though as Orton sends him to the floor for a clothesline from Kane. Back in and Kane puts on a chinlock but Reigns powers up. They slug it out and a Samoan drop is enough to put Kane down, allowing Reigns to make the hot tag. House is cleaned and Kane takes the ProtoBomb but Orton nails Cena with an RKO. Reigns Superman Punches Kane down though, leaving Orton and Reigns to fight up the ramp. Kane sends Cena to the floor and nails him with the steps for the DQ at 11:57.

Rating: C-. This was pretty dull stuff and was only there to build towards the fourway. Kane isn’t going to win the title and everyone knows it but at least he’s getting a nice push instead of looking like everyone else. It was just a standard main event tag match and not a very good one at that.

Post match Kane tombstones Cena and knocks him out, drawing out Rollins for a cash in. HHH says ring the bell but Ambrose hits the ring to attack Rollins before the bell. Ambrose chases Rollins into the crowd and HHH is livid. Kane gets a chair to go after Cena but Reigns comes back and spears him down. Roman and HHH stare each other down and the fans are into it to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. The wrestling wasn’t the best in the world here but a lot of stuff was happening on this show. We had three returns, a new champion, a title vacated, and the start of a nice new feud for someone that needs it. This show took care of a lot of things they’ve needed to get around to and it worked really well as a boost. Battleground feels like a throwaway show but they seem to actually be putting some effort into it on the way. That’s a rare thing but it’s very welcome. Not a great show but it got some stuff done.

Results
Seth Rollins b. Rob Van Dam – Curb stomp
Wyatt Family b. Usos/Sheamus – Discus lariat to Jimmy Uso
Funkadactyls b. Nikki Bella – Reverse DDT
Kofi Kingston b. Cesaro – Rollup
Great Khali b. Damien Sandow – Chop
Dolph Ziggler b. Fandango – Zig Zag
Stardust/Goldust b. Ryback/Curtis Axel – Downward spiral to Axel
John Cena/Roman Reigns b. Kane/Randy Orton via DQ when Kane used the steps

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As we’re coming up on Money in the Bank, WWE is kind of on a roll. Raw was a great example of that but there were certainly some issues in there as well. Let’s get to it.

We open with a roster meeting on the stage to set up the major matches tonight. The Authority gives us Cena vs. Kane in a Money in the Bank qualifying stretcher match because Bryan can’t do it (makes enough sense) and a battle royal for the other Money in the Bank spot. Ambrose and Reigns won’t be in the battle royal because they have other matches that we’ll get to later. There wasn’t much to the meeting and it really didn’t need to take place. This easily could have been announced by Cole to save more time for other stuff.

First match up was Seth Rollins vs. Dolph Ziggler. They’ve fought a few times on Smackdown and the matches have worked, much like this one here. The interesting thing was the ending though, which ties into the next match as well. Dean Ambrose would hit the ring and attack Rollins for the DQ as Seth was about to win. That’s the logical move as Rollins’ back was turned and Ambrose had his best chance to get in an attack. Rollins escaped but HHH gave Ambrose a match.

Ambrose lost to Bad News Barrett via countout when Ambrose went out to fight with Rollins. The match was good, but the main story here was how awesome Ambrose vs. Rollins feels. This feud is on fire and feels like something that could launch them to a much higher level. It’s a feud based on hatred between two men over a betrayal instead of something contrived and that’s exactly what you should do in a feud like this. The fact that both guys can more than go in the ring makes things even better. I said that it was giving me flashbacks to Rock vs. HHH in 1998 and that’s about as high of a compliment as I can give.

Now we get to the stupid part of the show because this is WWE and it wouldn’t feel right if we didn’t have one. Roman Reigns intercepted and spiked some coffee (in plastic cups for some reason) that Vickie Guerrero was bringing to the Authority. Jumping ahead, HHH would spill his coffee but Stephanie would suck it down and soon get sick, vomiting on Vickie (possibly in a tribute to Ultimate Warrior who did the same in 1992 and would have had a birthday on Monday).

Much like last week with Layla, WWE doesn’t have A TOWEL available and Vickie wouldn’t clean up all night. With Vickie left in charge while HHH got Stephanie to a doctor, Reigns would tell her that she’s getting fired anyway so why not put him in the battle royal. She agreed, completeing Reign’s plans. This doesn’t work for a variety of reasons.

First and foremost, Roman Reigns just isn’t a mastermind like this. Not that he’s stupid or anything, but he’s a muscle and power guy who gets by being physical. Ambrose was the smart and dastardly guy in the Shield and could get away with something like this, but it really doesn’t suit Reigns. They tried this with Kurt Angle back in 2001 when he tortured Austin into giving him a title shot and it just doesn’t fit.

Second, it took A LOT of convenience to make this work. Reigns didn’t know that they would get sick that fast, that they would leave, that they would leave Vickie in charge, that Vickie would go for this, and that Vickie would turn on them for giving her more authority. It’s REALLY convenient that all this worked and it didn’t work for me. Also, did we really need the projectile vomiting? That’s supposed to be entertaining? Insert your own “it’s WWE” joke here.

Bray Wyatt cut a really good promo about how the title would be his happy ending because it means power. This promo made me think that he could win, and that’s exactly what it’s supposed to do. It makes sense for the story and would be the boost that Bray needs. He also made me believe that winning the title made sense which I didn’t buy last week.

Sheamus would beat Bray Wyatt via DQ in a nice brawl when the Wyatt Family interfered. The Usos would make the save as they’re defending against the Wyatts at Money in the Bank. This was fine and made perfect sense, along with preventing either guy from taking a clean loss. See how easy it can be?

Heyman said that Cesaro will win and that’s a spoiler. Simple line but I liked it.

Rusev squashed Heath Slater, who appeared alone and referred to himself as the American Rock Star. It came off as kind of a face turn but it’s not going to make a difference when you lose in 34 seconds.

Kevin Hart was the guest star last night and did fine in his short segment with Adam Rose. He did commentary on a mixed tag with Rose/Summer Rae vs. Layla/Fandango. Nothing to see here and Hart was fine.

The battle royal was next and actually surprised me. The final group included Reigns, Rusev and Bo Dallas among others. Reigns was the fairly obvious winner, but WWE gave us just enough reason to believe that the other two could pull it off that there was doubt. All you have to do is have the smallest doubt and you can get around the obvious result. They pulled this off in the battle royal and the fans LOVED it. There’s a big match between Rusev and Reigns somewhere down the line and it will rock if they build it up properly.

Cena cut a Cena promo on the Authority. Nothing to see here.

Cameron dragged Paige down to a horrible match, which I believe is leading to the Funkadactyls splitting and Naomi getting a title shot. At the end of the day though, Cameron will be around because she’s on Total Divas and is loud, obnoxious and stupid, making her a reality TV star. She’s horrid in the ring though and hopefully the split lets Naomi get some solo time.

Goldust’s partner was Cody Rhodes as Star Dust. This actually worked as they won a quick match over Ryback/Axel (basically wasting all the wins they’ve gotten in recent weeks but that’s WWE for you) with Cody getting the pin. Yeah it’s destined to lead to Cody vs. Goldust, but Cody as Cody Rhodes has never worked so this is as good as anything else. One nice touch: Cody got the pin with a move that used to be called Diamond Dust. Those good things being said, I really don’t get why they split up the Brothers in the first place. They were on fire and having good matches, but now we’re back where we started with Cody in a new gimmick. It’s working though so it’s not necessarily a bad thing.

Cena beat Kane after surviving Rollins and Orton interfering thanks to Ambrose making the save. This was one of their better matches but it wasn’t anything all that good. Much like last week, Cena winning was obvious but there’s nothing wrong with that at all. You can’t have a huge multi man title match without Cena and WWE would be crazy to try.

Issues aside, Raw was awesome on Monday and Money in the Bank is looking like one heck of a ladder match. Reigns, Wyatt, Orton and Cena are all realistic options to take the title and that makes things far more interesting than just one or two choices. Reigns as a criminal mastermind aside, this was a good show that made the stars of the future look like huge stars and that’s a great sign going forward.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: June 16, 2014
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

We’re in Cleveland tonight and the main story continues to be Shield vs. HHH/Orton/Rollins, which doesn’t seem to be Evolution anymore. Other than that we’re getting ready for Money in the Bank with two spots left in the World Title ladder match. John Cena is still without a match for the show, so you can probably pencil him in for a qualifying match at some point this week. Let’s get to it.

First off on a personal note, Happy Birthday Mom.

We open with the roster on the stage and the Authority walking through them to get to the ring. Stephanie knows how hard it is for the fans to not have a WE Champion because the title means so much. Look at her husband, the greatest of all time for proof of how it can immortalize people. Bryan has proven that he’s a B+ player because he didn’t have the heart to defend the title.

This brings HHH to the roster on the stage, because the next WWE Champion might be standing up there right now. Stephanie says tonight is about opportunity because someone will join the Money in the Bank match. Everyone up there will be in a battle royal, minus the Shield because they’ve refused to evolve. Also, John Cena won’t be in the match for reasons not specified. HHH knows Cena loves to help people, so tonight Cena can help the Authority. Tonight Cena gets his own chance to qualify for Money in the Bank, in a stretcher match against Kane.

Comedian Kevin Hart is guest host tonight.

Seth Rollins vs. Dolph Ziggler

I think we had a miscue before the break as Kane came out and is nowhere to be seen now. Rollins has some new music and is back in something similar to his Shield attire, though it’s a plain black sleveless top instead of a vest. The hometown boy runs Seth over to start but Rollins slaps him in the back of the head a few times. Ziggler hiptosses him down and out to the floor for a breather. Back in and Rollins puts on a headlock before whipping Ziggler hard into the corner as we take a break.

We come back with Seth getting two off something we didn’t see before putting on a chinlock. Ziggler escapes and heads to the floor where he blocks a suicide dive. Back in and Rollins hits a quick enziguri but misses the curb stomp, allowing Ziggler to nail the jumping DDT for two. Ziggler hammers away and gets two off a sunset flip before putting on the sleeper. Seth is quicky out but the Fameasser gets two for Dolph. Not that it matters as Rollins hits two straight buckle bombs followed by the curb stomp, but Ambrose runs in for the DQ at 11:06.

Rating: C+. This was getting going but the DQ ending makes sense in this case. Ambrose not coming out there when he knew where Rollins was wouldn’t have made sense so the ending is as logical as you can get. You knew Ziggler wasn’t going to go over Rollins at this point, so there isn’t much to complain about.

Ambrose erupts on Rollins but Seth bails to the floor. Dean tells him to get down here for his beating, but HHH pops up on screen and says he has some bad news for Ambrose.

Bad News Barrett vs. Dean Ambrose

This is joined in progress after a break with Dean, in street clothes, hitting a cross body and hammering away on Barrett. I’m assuming this is non-title. A snap suplex gets two on Barrett and we hit the face rip. Barrett comes back with a knee to the ribs and puts on a chinlock, complete with an angry look on his face. Bad News hammers away in the corner but Dean runs him over and fires off right hands of his own to knock Barrett outside. A big dive takes him down again but Barrett takes him inside and clotheslines Dean off the top rope to mess up Ambrose’s bad shoulder again. We take a break with the referee looking at Dean.

Back with both guys still on the floor and Barrett ramming the bad arm into the apron. They head back inside for more arm work until Dean makes a comeback with his good arm. Some right hands have Barrett staggered but he runs into Winds of Change for two. Wasteland is countered into a crucifix but Dean does his bounds off the ropes clothesline to drop Barrett. Dean is feeling the crowd because he’s an awesome face, but Rollins is on the announce table again. The distraction doesn’t work as Barrett is sent to the floor, setting up a double suicide dive from Ambrose. Dean follows Seth into the crowd for the countout at 11:55.

Rating: B-. Nice match here but more importantly Dean is FEELING IT as a face. The guy is just flat out talented and has the awesome visuals that you need to be a star. This feud is starting to make me think of HHH vs. Rock in 1998 and that feud launched both guys into the main event for the rest of their careers. That’s a very, very good sign.

Vickie Guerrero is bringing coffee to the Authority. She runs into Roman Reigns and suggests sugar. Vickie leaves the coffee there and Reigns spikes it with her gone. She sneezes again because that’s her thing now. And people wonder why the writers are mocked.

Here are the Wyatts with something to say. The ladder is set up in the middle of the ring. The cell phones for Wyatt’s entrance make for an awesome visual. Before the match Bray talks about how without power, we’re all just little mice running from the lions in the jungle. Power can be addicting because we all need and crave it. Power will be our downfall though because a powerful is to be respected, but a weak man is less valuable than the dirt he crawls through.

Bray’s game is power and that title is all the power he needs. He wants us to look at Harper and Rowan and judge them as you will. Judge them as you want, because at Money in the Bank, they’re taking the Tag Team Titles from the Usos. Bray crawls under the ladder and says at Money in the Bank, he’ll claim his power and his title. Sheamus interrupts and offers to put his boot down Bray’s throat because it’s time to fight.

Bray Wyatt vs. Sheamus

It’s a brawl to start with both guys getting in their own big shots to the head. Bray takes him down and slugs away with Sheamus in early trouble. Back up and Bray’s suplex is slam is blocked into a suplex from the ticked off pale one. Now it’s his turn to hammer away on Wyatt before dropping him with a running forearm. A middle rope forearm staggers Bray and the fight goes out to the floor. The Family is about to get involved but the Usos come out to even things up as we go to a break.

Back with Sheamus fighting out of a chinlock to continue the brawl before Bray hits the running crossbody for two. Sheamus hits the forearms on the apron but Bray counters White Noise. A powerslam puts Bray down and it’s Brogue Kick time but the Family interferes for the DQ at 11:16.

Rating: C+. This was the Sheamus Special: put him in there with another power brawler and let them beat each other up for awhile. Bray is looking like a step above a dark horse for the title match and I’d love to see him get the title just to see where things go from there. Nice match here and it’s nice to see no one win in a match where both guys should look strong.

Post match the Usos and Sheamus clean house, including using the ladder as a ramp to dive on the Wyatts. Sheamus throws the ladder at the Family’s head and Rowan looked to take it full on in the face.

HHH accidentally knocks his coffee into Vickie’s face. Stephanie gets hers and says it’s good.

After the break, Stephanie is still drinking coffee and talking about how it’s every man for himself when her stomach gets upset. Because her drink is spiked and she needs a bathroom you see, because that’s what a violent and angry man like Roman Reigns does. Paul Heyman comes in to take Stephanie’s interview time and asks about who could win Money in the Bank. He says it’s going to be Cesaro and that’s a spoiler.

Rusev vs. Heath Slater

This time Lana’s speech takes place in the ring. She thinks American men should be ashamed because Rusev keeps running through them and they’re nothing compared to Vladimir Putin. We get a picture of a Russian Mount Rushmore and Rusev can apparently speak English, saying that resistance if futile. Slater actually gets to talk and asks why Lana and Rusev don’t go back to Russia if they love it so much. He’s now the American Rock Star. Heath sactually slugs away to start but runs into a right hand and the jumping superkick. Accolade ends this in 34 seconds.

Vickie is sent in to check on the sick Stephanie and gets vomited on. Vickie is put in charge while the Authority leaves. Screaming ensues. This made me groan out loud.

Reigns goes to see Vickie, who hasn’t cleaned up because, as we learned from Layla last week, showers don’t exist at WWE. Roman says she’ll get fired next week and asks to be put in the battle royal to screw with the Authority. “Fine. YOU’RE IN!” The fans seem very pleased with this.

We get a clip of Kevin Hart’s new movie Think Like A Man Too.

Kevin Hart is talking about the movie when Adam Rose and the Exotic Experience comes in. Rose plugs the movie and says Hart should be a Rosebud. Hart has no idea what he just said but says no. Kevin wants to know why they’re all singing at him and that’s about it.

Adam Rose/Summer Rae vs. Fandango/Layla

Kevin Hart is on commentary. Cole tries to explain why the girls have poured milk and kitty litter on each other and it sounds so ridiculous when you put it into words. The guys get things started as Kevin makes fun of their clothes. Layla tags herself in and we get a catfight but Layla quickly tags out. Summer chases her up the aisle and Rose hits the Party Foul for the pin at 1:25.

Hart joins the Express post match.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Battle Royal

Titus O’Neil, Damien Sandow, Bo Dallas, Jack Swagger, Diego, Fernando, Curtis Axel, Fandango, Dolph Ziggler, Rusev, Ryback, Sin Cara, Santino Marella, Kofi Kingston, Big E., Roman Reigns, Rob Van Dam, Bad News Barrett, Xavier Woods

Those are all the people on the graphic so there’s a chance I missed a few. Damien is LeBron James because why not. Not that it matters as everyone gets together to put him out ten seconds in. Bo throws Santino out and Rusev does the same thing to both Matadores. Woods gets the same treatment from Rusev and everyone brawls for awhile.

Ziggler is sent to the apron and Reigns eliminates Titus. Swagger puts Sin Cara on the apron before catapulting him out. Kofi can’t get Swagger out and Big E. can’t get rid of Axel. Rusev gets Ziggler to the apron but a kick to the head saves Dolph. Kofi finally gets Swagger out and we take a break. Back with Rusev, Reigns, RVD, Ryback, Ziggler, Fandango, Dallas, Big E., Axel and Barrett still in, meaning Kofi (via Ryback) was the only elimination during the break. Speaking of eliminations, Ryback punches Ziggler out to the floor for his second straight elimination.

Reigns starts cleaning house and even takes Rusev down with a Superman Punch but can’t take care of Ryback that easily. Roman sends Fandango to the apron but has to spear Ryback and Axel down. A kick to the head puts Fandango out and Rusev kicks Reigns in the chest. Big E. dumps Ryback and Reigns throws out Axel. Another kick puts Roman down but Van Dam kicks Rusev in the face. Van Dam and Dallas start fighting but Barrett takes Rob down with a big boot.

Rob comes back with more kicks but Bo shoves him off the corner for a surprise elimination. That could be Bo’s first big feud. Barrett lays out a celebrating Bo and throws him to the apron but Bo hangs on. Nice little call back to the Rumble from a few years ago. Reigns dumps Barrett and Dallas knocks out Big E., but walks into the spear. Dallas is dumped and we’re down to Rusev vs. Roman.

The fans are WAY into this and the slugout is on. Reigns gets the early advantage but walks into a wicked spinwheel kick. They trade running charges in the corner and Reigns puts him on the apron. Some big right hands can’t get rid of the Russian but the Superman Punch sends Reigns to Money in the Bank and the crowd is VERY happy.

Rating: B. I was doubting Reigns for awhile but he’s coming off like a STAR at this point, just like Ambrose. This was a really solid battle royal as there were some good saves and the last bit of the match was really solid stuff. The last pairing is how you should do big matches: take two guys who look unbeatable and have them fight. Notice the reaction and you’ll see why that’s an idea.

John Cena holds up five fingers and knocks down a finger at a time to explain why he should go to Money in the Bank. All that’s left is his index finger, because him being WWE Champion is what’s best for business. Various unfunny references to Stephanie and Vickie were included.

Cameron vs. Paige

Non-title. There’s some story here about Cameron slapping Paige on social media. Paige gets all ticked off to start and throws Cameron around by the hair before driving in some headbutts. Cameron bails to the floor but comes back in with a kick to the ribs and another slap for two. Paige shrugs it off and nails some clotheslines followed by the PTO for the submission at 3:30.

Rating: D. Total snack time match here, but it showed one thing: Cameron is there because she’s annoying on a badly scripted reality show and how she looks in shorts. She couldn’t do even basic stuff competently in there and Paige was carrying everything she could for the match. Nothing to see here and Paige needs better help.

We recap the Rhodes Brothers’ issues. Tonight Cody has found the perfect partner for Goldust. Goldust has met him and says the partner is super and galactic.

Ryback/Curtis Axel vs. Goldust/???

And it’s Cody Rhodes in Goldust paint under the name Star Dust, despite Cody saying it wouldn’t be him last week. The Dusts jump Ryback and Axel to start with Cody hitting a quick DDT on Axel. Ryback is sent to the floor and Cody nails a springboard elbow to Curtis’ head. Something resembling Diamond Dust (ending in a cutter instead of a Stunner) ends Axel at 1:00.

Stephanie helped host the Special Olympics to give her a new charity to work with.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: John Cena vs. Kane

Stretcher match which is taking place because Cena is replacing Bryan due to injury. Kane easily takes him down to start and stomps away before taking him down to the floor. Cena is quickly off the stretcher and rams it into Kane’s ribs a few times to take over. A hard whip sends Cena into the steps and another puts him into the post to give the monster control again. John is put on the stretcher but gets off before they get too far up the ramp.

Back from a break with Kane still in control but Cena sends him into a chair. Cena goes up, only to jump into a chokeslam. That doesn’t mean much in a stretcher match though so Kane brings in the steps. John dropkicks the leg out though and Kane’s head slams into the steel. An AA off the steps is countered into a DDT but Cena is still dead weight. Kane can only get the stretcher partially up the ramp before Cena fights back and sends him into the post.

Kane whips Cena into the barricade and loads up the table but gets caught in an AA through said table to put the monster down. He’s still a long way from the stretcher though so Cena wisely puts him in a fireman’s carry. Cena gets him to the stretcher but collapses before he can get Kane on it. Cena finds another stretcher from ringside and gets Kane on it but here are Orton and Rollins to put Cena back in the ring. Why they didn’t put him on a stretcher is beyond me.

An RKO lays Cena out in the ring but Ambrose hits the ring to save Cena from a chair shot. Kane is back up though with a chokeslam to Ambrose, leaving us with the people in the match. Cena low bridges Kane to the floor and looks at the steps. We get the throw the steps spot but Kane mostly blocks them with his hands. He goes down anyway though and puts Kane on the stretcher but Kane sits up at the last second. He grabs Cena by the throat but Cena AA’s him back onto the stretcher to go to Money in the Bank at 15:18.

Rating: C-. These two never really worked all that well together but this wasn’t all that bad. I was thinking they wouldn’t go with Cena there for a second but I wasn’t sure what that would leave him with at the pay per view. Hopefully this gets rid of Kane for awhile as there really isn’t much for him to do right now.

Cena poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. This show got by on energy alone and there’s nothing wrong with that at all. The parts that were good were REALLY good with the Shield stuff in particular knocking it out of the park. Rollins will be solid in his role but Ambrose and Reigns look like superstars already. The ladder match looks great and there are at least five legitimate contenders to win it.

It’s certainly not a perfect show by any means but the bad stuff was kept to a limit tonight. Yeah the stuff with the coffee was dumb and beyond a stretch, but at least the payoff was more than worth it. I have high hopes for Money in the Bank for the first time and above all else: IT LOOKS LIKE THERE WON’T BE A BRIEFCASE THIS YEAR! I couldn’t be happier about that so I’ll give the show bonus points. Really solid show this week that brought the goods.

Results
Seth Rollins b. Dolph Ziggler via DQ when Dean Ambrose interfered
Bad News Barrett b. Dean Ambrose via countout
Sheamus b. Bray Wyatt via DQ when the Wyatt Family interfered
Rusev b. Heath Slater – Accolade
Adam Rose/Summer Rae b. Fandango/Layla – Party Foul to Fandango
Roman Reigns won a battle royal last eliminating Rusev
Paige b. Cameron – PTO
Goldust/Star Dust b. Curtis Axel/Ryback – Diamond Dust to Axel
John Cena b. Kane – Cena pushed Kane over the finish line

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