Impact
Date: March 10, 2011
Location: Crown Coliseum, Fayetteville, North Carolina
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Episode Title: The Return of the Icon

Hey did you know that Victory Road was this Sunday?  You probably shouldn’t as it’s not like TNA has spent any TV time building anything for it outside of the quick mention of the tag title match last week.  Other than that we know very little for this PPV and the show is in 3 days.  We’re still in North Carolina this week and Sting is the new world champion.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a quick recap of the previous week’s shows and then it’s time for Sting to address the crowd.  He has a weird color scheme in his face paint that looks like there’s a bloody cross over his eye.  Sting talks about how he’s had a long career and the people have supported him every step of the way.  He talks about Jeff Hardy and how great he is and that he needs to get back to being his old self.

Cue Hogan and Bischoff with Hogan doing the talking.  He talks about how Sting saw it coming from miles away and no one believed them that Hogan was going to screw over TNA.  When no one believed it, he went home but now he’s back.  The fans don’t need another hero.  They have one named Hulk Hogan.

Sting says he went home but then he got a fire inside him, just like when he fought Flair or Hogan.  Sting says he has to start a new war and it starts right here.  Cue Anderson who says he wants his rematch.  The key word is “My” and he doesn’t care what Hogan or Bischoff or the Network says, he wants it.  Anderson introduces himself to Sting and Sting smiles at him.

Cue Hardy because this isn’t crowded enough already.  Anderson isn’t getting his shot yet is he?  He says he was robbed last week and that he’s awesome.  Hardy tells Anderson that the line for the world title starts behind Hardy.  Here’s RVD to complain some more.  Van Dam yells at everyone until Hogan starts talking again.  He calls the shots here and Bischoff makes RVD/Sting vs. Hardy/Anderson.  Hardy vs. Sting for the title at the PPV and Anderson vs. RVD grudge match.  Why do they have a grudge?

The girls talk in the back with the Jersey Shore chick talking and swearing a lot.  There’s a six girl tag later.  Winter gets rid of them and Velvet is still mad.

Samoa Joe vs. Pope next.

Samoa Joe vs. D’Angelo Dinero

 

Pope comes through the crowd and drills Okato with his chain to take over.  Joe hammers away on him with various strikes that leave Pope staggering.  Pope fights back a bit but gets destroyed by all kinds of things from Joe, namely a powerslam.  Joe tries a sleeper but runs into an STO for two.  Pope gets a turnbuckle pad off but walks into a suplex.  He grabs the chain from earlier and pops Joe in the head with it for the pin at 3:20.

Rating: C-. I’m not entirely sure what the point of this was.  If that was the blowoff to it I’m not sure what they’re thinking.  I don’t think it was but it’s a head scratching moment for sure.  Joe destroyed him for the most part and got caught by a single shot at the end to lose it.  Not sure where they’re going with it but hopefully that’s not the end of it.

Bully Ray yells at people and says he’ll be in the parking lot waiting on Dreamer.

Knockouts Title: Madison Rayne vs. ???

 

This is another open challenge.  My goodness Tara is stunning.  This week Roxxi answers it and is taken down quickly.  She misses a charge as this is all Madison early.  Spinebuster gets two for Roxxi as does a rollup.  That same neckbreaker/knee to the back combination by Madison ends this at 1:30.  This was nothing.  Mickie James comes out for the save.  So it’s back to this feud again?

Dreamer goes to the parking lot and says he’ll fight Ray right now.

After a break Ray is screaming for Dreamer.  How big is this parking lot that they can’t hear each other?  D-Von jumps Ray and beats the heck out of him by ramming him into various things, namely D-Von’s fists.  Ray begs for mercy as D-Von finds a chair to whip Bubba with.  D-Von gets a sledgehammer from a golf cart and Dreamer comes in to stop him from killing Ray.  After the leave Ray beats up the security guard just because.

Sarita/Cookie/Angelina vs. Angelina Love/Velvet Sky/Winter

 

Velvet and Angelina-Not Love start us off.  Winter and Angelina Love defend the tag titles against Sarita/Rosita on Sunday.  Everything breaks down quickly and here’s Robbie E to hold Velvet.  Winter teases hurting Velvet but saves her instead.  Winter bites Robbie’s hand so that Velvet can roll up Angelina-Not Love to win it at 1:50.  Was there a point to this other than girls in little clothing?  Not that I’m complaining.

We get a clip from a house show with Angle talking.  Anderson talks about the New York Jet interrupting Angle.  Angle says he’ll fight Bart Scott.

Anderson is in Immortal’s locker room and isn’t happy with having to team with Hardy.  Bischoff calms him down.

We recap Flair turning on Fourtune which was supposed to be shocking I think.  This also requires another Hogan appearance.

Ric Flair vs. Matt Hardy vs. AJ Styles

 

Flair is of course in a suit.  Nothing could go wrong with two North Carolina guys in North Carolina as heels right?  AJ is in jeans and a t-shirt   Flair says he hopes Flair country is grabbing AJ by the balls.  AJ says TNA is the house that AJ Styles built.  Flair says he made the town and has slept with most of the people’s mothers and fertilized Fayetteville.  Matt cuts AJ off and says AJ couldn’t understand what Matt has gone through in this business.  This isn’t personal though.

AJ blasts Matt as this is a 3 way street fight that continues after the bell.  Back with AJ hammering away on Matt with Flair on the floor.  The bell I believe rang pre-bell but it’s not quite clear.  Flair comes in for the first time during the match and hammers away.  That gets him nowhere as AJ takes him down and sets for the Figure Four.  He’s no Jay Lethal though so he can’t get a submission.  Matt drops the leg to break it up for two.

Out on the floor and Matt drills AJ with a chair and brings out a ladder.  Flair is all busted open again as is his custom.  Twist of Fate is blocked and Hardy goes into the ladder.  AJ beats up Flair for awhile as Matt grabs a Side Effect for two.  AJ avoids a chair shot from Ric and chops away.  Styles Clash is blocked and the Twist of Fate onto the chair allows Flair to win this at 9:58, assuming the bell rang just before the break.

Rating: C-. This ran long and I have no idea what the point of the three way aspect of it was.  Not much of a match but AJ vs. Matt does nothing for me at all.  This was ok I guess but at the same time, do we need to see Flair getting beaten up this badly in his early 60s?  I certainly don’t.

RVD isn’t happy that Sting thought he was part of THEY.

Generation Me vs. Ink Inc

 

Beer Money is on commentary here.  Jeremy vs. Shannon to start.  Storm talks about Shannon being his friend and the guy he came up and down the road with.  Gen Me has letters on their tights now so that helps.  Gen Me gets Kazarian and Robbie E in Ultimate X on Sunday.  Great to see them let that build.  Jeremy hits that springboard X Factor so that Max can come in to hammer away.

Shannon is the face in peril for awhile until it’s off to the fire red head hair.  He cleans house and hits a springboard cross body for two but can’t hit his spear in the corner.  Jeremy is brought back in and gets speared out of the air in a cool spot for…no cover.  Mooregasm ends Jeremy in 4:15.

Rating: C+. Just a tag match here to give Ink Inc some credibility.  This was nothing special for the most part but it did its job and the spear spot was cool.  Ink Inc has more or less no chance on Sunday but at least we get some build for the match here which is always good to see.

Both teams say basic things.

Jeff Hardy more or less threatens Anderson not to turn on him.  Anderson says he’s unorthodox and illogical because he’s a jerk.

Pope says he’s going to end this with Joe soon.

We recap the wedding from last week which was kind of awesome and VERY long.  The Jarretts are going on their honeymoon and going to Orlando.  Lots of sex is implied.

Package on Ultimate X.

We run down the Victory Road card.  In addition to the announced matches we also get Matt Hardy vs. AJ Styles and Morgan vs. Hernandez in a first blood match.  Ray vs. Dreamer also.

Sting talks about not wanting to become a wrestler but having his opinion changed.  TNA is his brand apparently and he doesn’t like Hogan/Bischoff/Hardy taking it over.  He says it’s been a great seven days and he’ll defend the title against anyone.  Anderson jumps him and beats him down, shouting about wanting his rematch.

Mr. Anderson/Jeff Hardy vs. Rob Van Dam/Sting

 

Some kid is doing the announcing here and sounds awful.  No Sting to stat us off here and after about three minutes there go the lights and on comes the music.  I know there isn’t much said there but it’s exactly what you would expect of it.  Sting is here, Death Drop, Five Star ends Anderson at 4:58.

Rating: C-. Weak main event here but they were so rushed with having to get to….uh all that other stuff.  Like the honeymoon announcement.  Yeah this was weak.

Overall Rating: C. This was ok and better than last week’s but not by much.  There was more going on here and it helped things a lot.  They had to rush thing through here to get us to the PPV this weekend and they did ok at it.  I’m not sure what they’re planning to get us to here and it’s getting a bit old.  Decent show but nothing great at all.

Results

D’Angelo Dinero b. Samoa Joe – Dinero pinned Joe after a shot with a chain

Madison Rayne b. Roxxi – Neckbreaker/knee to the back of the head combination

Angelina Love/Velvet Sky/Winter b. Angelina/Cookie/Sarita – Velvet rolled up Angelina

Ric Flair b. Matt Hardy and AJ Styles – Flair pinned Styles after a Twist of Fate from Hardy

Ink Inc b. Generation Me – Mooregasm to Jeremy

Rob Van Dam/Sting b. Mr. Anderson/Jeff Hardy – Five Star Frog Splash to Anderson

Impact
Date: February 24, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz
Episode Title: Hot At Teacher

The main story tonight is that Dixie Carter has promised a major announcement that will change the wrestling world at the end of the show.  Given that TNA makes about one of these a month, I’m not exactly on the edge of my seat but one time they said this and it was Kurt Angle so there’s always a chance.  Other than that this is the last show before we get to the March 3^rd show which won’t be in Orlando.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s main event with Hardy beating RVD in a “ratings grab” which drew one of the lower ratings of the year.  Maybe if you had advertised the world title match for longer than an hour and a half that would work.  We also recap Flair turning heel (was he ever face?) and it’s AJ vs. Flair tonight.

Anderson comes into the ring with a chair and sits down in the middle of the ring.  He doesn’t care who’s calling the shots here because right now he’s in charge.  He’s sitting there in that spot until he gets his rematch because his contract says he gets one.  Anderson isn’t sure why the network doesn’t like him but it might be because he’s a jerk.  He says RVD isn’t exactly a law abiding citizen, and here’s Van Dam with a rebuttal.

RVD wants to know about the laws of morality, which is about not feeding your friends to the sharks to get ahead.  Basically Van Dam is mad because he thinks Anderson has plans which RVD is standing in the way of.  This is about the low blow that Hardy got in on Van Dam that Anderson missed.  Van Dam says he’s better whether Anderson likes it or not.

Anderson says that all that matters is getting his rematch, but  before they both do something they regret, and then that’s all he manages to say as Van Dam drills him.  They brawl for a bit until security comes out for the save.  Cue Bischoff and Immortal minus Jeff Hardy with Eric saying he thinks he has a main event, which is a shame as Anderson was going to get a rematch until he saw this.  Jeff Jarrett whispers into Eric’s ear and Eric says good idea.  They add Angle in because we need a triple threat I guess.

Scott Steiner vs. Rob Terry in a posedown later.

Steiner says he’s been doing six ounce curls with James Storm Beer.  Eric Young pops up behind him doing poses and Steiner throws him out.  Young has darker hair now it seems.

The Jarretts look at wedding dresses.  This doesn’t go well as Karen doesn’t like anything and gets annoyed but reminds herself she’s still a princess so everything is ok.

Kurt says he can’t give her away fast enough next week and there will be a wedding we’ll never forget.  Also he’s sorry to Anderson/RVD but he’s not in a ood move.

Gunner/Murphy vs. Orlando Jordan/Eric Young

 

Beer Money is on commentary here.  Yep it’s a comedy match as Young starts with I think that’s Gunner and we get a LONG crisscross, as in like a minute long.  Gunner and Murphy finally take over and hammer away on Young for a bit and we hit the chinlock.  Off to Murphy and Young’s blue shorts are ripped off to reveal regular tights that I think have a Mapleleaf on them.  Gunner and Murphy hit a combination side slam/top rope elbow for the pin on Young at 3:27.  I don’t think Jordan was ever in the match.  Gunner/Murphy vs. Beer Money next week.

Rating: C. Just a basic squash here which is exactly what Gunner/Murphy needed to get themselves up a bit before next week.  That’s why you have jobbers and Young and Jordan are perfect for it.  Decent little match that did exactly what it was supposed to do for both teams.

Angelina tries to talk Velvet out of putting her career on the line and is brushed off for the most part.

After a break here’s D-Von to apologize to his sons for letting Bully Ray (he calls him Bubba here) hurt them, putting them through a table and kicking them in the face.  D-Von looks very emotional here and says he should have been there to protect them.  He says this will not go unanswered but is interrupted by Ray on the monitor.

In the back he’s got someone down in front of him who we can’t see but he keeps hitting.  Raw asks how D-Von’s kids are and then says that so D-Von will never forget what Ray did to his kids.  Apparently that’s D-Von’s brother and he’s going to put him through a table.  D-Von just stands there and apparently doesn’t care.  Did his brother stiff him on the bill at Olive Garden or something?  Tommy Dreamer pops up to make the save and takes Ray into the Impact Zone but security breaks it up.  D-Von accidentally hits Tommy.

Madison says she doesn’t need Tara’s help in the open challenge tonight.

AJ says he’s not taking a backseat to anyone anymore.

Crimson vs. Magnus

 

This is Crimson’s singles debut.  Magnus says that Crimson and he are a lot alike.  They’re both muscular and ambitious etc but Magnus is more of all of them.  Also he’s not carrying Angle’s bags.  After he says this, pain begins happening to him.  Crimson drills him for awhile until Magnus gets a Stunner on the top rope.  He sets for some kind of driver but Magnus counters into a spinning Rock Bottom into a Downward Spiral for the pin at 1:20.  Not even a squash because Magnus might have been on offense longer.  The move is called Red Alert apparently.

RVD says there are a lot of goals he’s going to try to reach tonight but he’s not sure why Eric made this match.

Time for the posedown.  Terry is in shorts and barefoot.  He says he’s the genetic freak so let’s do it.  He’s already one step up on the other Welshman in wrestling in Mason Ryan.  You can understand Terry.  Steiner comes out in a suit.  He says he’s the real genetic freak and has been since Terry was sucking on his mom’s *censored*.  Terry should be called Chernobyl because he’s a few vitamins away from a chemical explosion.

Steiner says that he’s going to go put his gear on rather than coming out here in speedos like a Chippendale.  Terry says that’s just like an American as he’s running when someone bigger and stronger and faster is challenging them.  Steiner turns to take the suit jacket off and Terry hits him with the dumbbell he brought with him.  Steiner gets choked out by the bands that Terry had also.

Velvet comes into her locker room and Winter is there.  Winter says that people are doubting Velvet’s abilities in her match with Sarita next week but Winter isn’t one of them.  Velvet says when she’s done with Sarita she’s coming for Winter’s.  Velvet leaves and Winter smiles evily.

Flair is coming to the ring despite his match being later.

The Jarretts talk to a minister and Karen keeps interrupting everyone.  It’s about Kurt apparently.  The minister hears what they’re planning and says “Oh Lord”, calling it blasphemy.  A minister just summed up this storyline in a nutshell.

Here’s Flair who says it’s hard to be humble when you’re the Nature Boy and therefore God.  He says he might give girl at ringside a shot at Space Mountain.  The fans cheer for him and he says he knows who he is already.  Flair says AJ has one more chance to apologize on his hands and knees before God.  Beer Money and Kaz will get their chances later.

Here’s AJ and Flair tells So Cal Val to open the ropes for AJ but AJ stops her.  Flair’s smile is almost creepy here.  AJ starts to talk but Flair says the fans aren’t needed here because we have a man talking to a God.  AJ isn’t going to beat up Flair tonight because if Flair gets to AJ then Flair wins.  Flair says that Fourtune wasn’t supposed to do anything without Flair.  He even offered James Storm 100 beers last night but Storm wouldn’t do it.

AJ says that if Flair had known what was coming then Flair would have tried to stop them.  Flair says he was trying to show Fourtune how to be great but tonight he’s going to teach them respect.  Flair slaps the taste out of AJ’s mouth and the fight is on.  Hernandez runs out for the save but is thrown over the top and out to the floor by AJ.  Styles goes after Flair again but Hernandez comes back.

Taz and Tenay aren’t sure if Hernandez is officially with Immortal or not.  What part of “Do you want to be in Immortal?” “Yes” Do they not get?  AJ beats up both guys and Flair is, say it with me, BUSTED OPEN.  AJ beats them down again but Hernandez makes a third save and finally takes AJ down.  Ok scratch that as AJ hits a plancha to take Hernandez down for the third time.

And since it’s a Flair segment Flair’s clothes are ripped off.  Styles Clash is attempted but it’s one pose too many as Hernandez comes in for a fourth time and FINALLY they get AJ down.  Fourtune finally runs down for the save.  Morgan pops up and drills Hernandez.  Fourtune stands tall and Morgan leaves Hernandez laying in the crowd/back.

Anderson says he’ll do what he’s always done and get by the odds.  He’s in this for the world title and it’s tunnel vision for him.

Hogan is coming back next week.  As opposed to when he was supposed to come back on 2/3.  This comes with a recap video of the THEY storyline.  The Final Verdict in the court case is next week.

Madison Rayne vs. ???

 

This is a non-title open challenge.  Madison talks about all the Knockouts she’s knocked out and how she’s getting bored.  The first challenger is the returning ODB now with black hair.  ODB hits a Thesz Press and a slam to take Madison down very quickly.  Bronco Buster misses so ODB rubs her crotch a bit.

Madison does that humping the mat thing where the other girl’s head is rammed into the mat.  She tries to do it again and ODB fights her off and runs her over a few times.  Fallaway Slam sets up a nip up and then the Bronco Buster.  She sets Madison into a Fireman’s Carry but Madison escapes and gets a combination swinging neckbreaker/knee to the back of the head of ODB to end it at 3:50.

Rating: D+. Any match that has a woman rubbing her crotch on national TV is a match I have some issues with.  This was nothing special at all and Madison continues to dominate.  This Queen Bee thing isn’t doing anything at all for me as it’s rather boring.  I don’t get why they didn’t go with Mickie but whatever.

Velvet goes to talk to Sarita and Sarita says it’ll be one on one and a fair match with the career on the line.  Velvet leaves and Sarita/Rosita crack up laughing.

Main event is next.

Morgan says that was comeuppance for Hernandez because Hernandez cost Morgan the title.  Apparently they’re fighting next week.

Jeff Jarrett gets a fitting for his tuxedo and apparently Kurt is going to need one also.  Karen still won’t shut up.  Jeff says he’s tired of this princess stuff.  Karen says that’s good because now she’s a queen.  Jarrett gets his suit and that’s about it.

We recap J-Woww showing up to yell at Cookie.  J-Woww said she might be back.  Cookie and Robbie says they’re going to have one of the other Jersey Shore girls call out J-Woww.  Sadly enough this is probably going to get a better rating than anything else they’ve done in awhile which means we’ll see more of it.

Rob Van Dam vs. Mr. Anderson vs. Kurt Angle

 

This is for the #1 contender spot apparently.  We take a break before the opening bell.  Here we are and Anderson is double teamed to start.  Double suplex puts Anderson down which Van Dam was almost on his feet still while Angle was on his back.  Angle is sent to the floor and RVD hits a monkey flip on Anderson.  Angle back in now and the beating continues.  Rolling Thunder is attempted on both but only hits Kurt.

This turns into a regular triple threat with everyone fighting everyone until RVD takes out both guys on the floor and we take a break.  Back with Anderson on the floor and Van Dam taking Angle down with a spinkick.  A monkey flip is blocked but RVD gets the standing moonsault for two.  Angle is sent to the floor and Anderson is back in.  RVD takes him down with a middle rope kick but Angle is back in now.

Clotheslines for everyone as Angle is dominant.  Suplexes for both guys and Anderson gets Rolling Germans.  Angle Slam to Anderson but RVD kicks Angle in the face.  Five Star is blocked by the running belly to belly.  Mic Check is blocked and Angle hits a T-Bone and sets for the ankle lock but Here Comes the Bride plays and here are the Jarretts.  They kiss in the aisle and the distraction lets Anderson Mic Check Angle for the pin at approximately 10:00 shown of 13:12.

Rating: C+. I’m not a fan of these matches at all but this wasn’t bad I guess.  They did about what you would expect them to do and while it wasn’t bad, it was nothing out of the ordinary.  Anderson continues to be the title chaser which he was already since he had a title rematch, but at least it’s official now.

We run down the card for next week:

The Jersey Shore stuff

Bart Scott of the New York Jets

Velvet vs. Sarita

Morgan vs. Hernandez

Gunner/Murphy vs. Beer Money

The Wedding Vows

Dixie and Hogan’s Final Verdict

Taz says there’s some new footage so we’re going to go to it.  There’s a guy walking in the rain and up some stairs.  It says 3-3-11 and my eyes roll.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a massive commercial for next week and on that front it was ok.  The main event was fine despite me not being a fan at all of three way dances.  I still fail to see the point of having everything put on more or less two matches but thankfully they’ve added some other stuff to flesh next week out a bit.  It’ll be nice to see it in a place that isn’t the Impact Zone though, if nothing else to see who is over and who isn’t.  Anyway, not bad this week but nothing great.

Results

Gunner/Murphy b. Orlando Jordan/Eric Young – Side Slam/Elbow Drop combination to Young

Crimson b. Magnus – Red Alert

Madison Rayne b. ODB – Swinging Neckbreaker/Knee to the Neck

Mr. Anderson b. Rob Van Dam and Kurt Angle – Mic Check to Angle

Impact
Date: February 17, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Episode Title: The Boy Is Back In Town

It’s the first show after Against All Odds and we have a new TNA World Heavyweight Champion in the form of Jeff Hardy who still isn’t clear of jail time after his drug charges.  Other than him though it was a very bad night for Immortal as only Jeff Hardy and Jeff Jarrett won on Sunday.  It should be interesting to see where we go from here.  Let’s get to it.

We open with clips from after Against All Odds with Jarrett saying Kurt will deliver his princess to him on March 3^rd.  Jeff Hardy says he made ladder matches famous and still is at 33 years old.  RVD vs. Jeff Hardy for the world title tonight.  I’m not saying a word.

Here’s Immortal to open the show.  Eric brings out Jeff Hardy for the celebration.  He talks about how Immortal is still dominant despite Fourtune leaving.  As he’s talking we see Flair arriving.  Matt Hardy vs. Styles tonight.  Eric talks about how Jeff Hardy was supposed to get some time off but he got a call from the network who wants ratings.  Therefore tonight Jeff Hardy has to defend the title against RVD tonight.  Bischoff is going to try to avoid it but right now that’s the plan.

Eric now shifts over to Flair who he’s not sure about.  It gives Eric a weird feeling that he doesn’t like so Flair has until next week.  Cue Flair’s music and here he is.  He says that only one person gave him an ultimatum.  That person was his 3^rd ex wife.  Everyone in this ring grew up on Ric Flair and he even got together with Hogan after 25 years.

Did you forget he’s a wrestling god?  When he was in Europe people didn’t call him Ric.  They just called him God.  Cue a God chant of course.  Flair says that he’ll see them later and we really get no resolution here.  Flair definitely came off like a face here.

The Jarretts are getting massages and talk about the wedding vows on March 3^rd.  They talk about tuxedos and imply sex later.  That’s the only way to put it really.

We’re back and Matt Hardy and AJ Styles are in a fight in the back.  Immortal runs in as does Fourtune and it’s a big brawl.

We get some clips of Kurt from Sunday looking very sad after losing.  Now we talk about the ladder match.  Hey, did you know both Jeffs won on Sunday?  I didn’t know if the three clip packages and talking about it in 20 minutes made that clear enough.

Sarita/Rosita run into Hernandez in the back and he walks to the ring with them after some Spanish chatting.

Douglas Williams vs. Hernandez

 

Hernandez jumps him in the aisle and beats the living heck out of him while the girls cheer him on.  Hernandez throws him in the ring and chokes him with what looks like a shirt.  Velvet runs down and beats up Sarita a bit but Rosita takes care of her.  Angelina comes out to even things up and they brawl.  Wasn’t there a match going on?  Back in the ring an absolutely SICK Border Toss ends this.  Williams landed right on the back of his head and if he didn’t seriously hurt his neck I’ll be surprised.  Match ran 2:00 even and a large amount of that was the fight between the girls.

Eric is on the phone with someone from the network and is trying to get Jeff Hardy out of the title defense tonight.  This goes over about as well as Eugene in a feature match at Summerslam did and we take a break.

Back with Pope in the ring with a stuffed pig on a table.  It looks like a party of some kind.  He says that he’s a hot Pope and the pig is a sloppy Joe.  Pope wants to talk about Jesus and just like he fed thousands with fish and bread, he’s going to feed everyone here with that pig.  Ronald Regan and Michael Jackson believe in him apparently, as does Jesus who texted him and believes in Pope too.  That last bit was funny.

Pope wants to know who is first but it’ll cost $10 a pop.  Cue Joe’s music and he’s ticked.  Okato is behind Pope and when pope tries to run Okato kicks him in the chest.  Joe drills Pope in the corner and it’s a Muscle Buster through the pig.  Pope gets the apple shoved in his mouth.

Back and Robbie E and Cookie say they’re going to win the title again.  In the back Kazarian is kissing Traci Brooks (real life wife) and it’s time for a match.

X-Division Title: Kazarian vs. Robbie E

 

Not sure if this is a title match or not.  Before the match Kaz runs down Cookie and says she’s ugly with the makeup.  She gets ticked off and leaves.  Yes this is a title match apparently.  Robbie is all aggressive to start and Kaz is in trouble.  Beautiful People vs. Sarita/Rosita tonight.  Kaz gets a springboard elbow and a leg lariat to take over.  And then Cookie comes out with a big purse to hit Kaz in the head with for the DQ at 1:57.  No rating of course but Robbie showed some nice aggression here.  Traci bounces down and it’s a mini cat fight.

Flair goes in to talk to Fourtune and seems to be accepted by them.  He has presents for them and of course they get Iced.  AJ can wait until after his big match though.  They chant chug and down the drinks.  Storm drinks AJ’s just because he can.

AJ vs. Matt Hardy next.

Matt Hardy vs. AJ Styles

 

See?  I told you it was next.  AJ sprints to the ring in the athletic pants of doom and goes off on Matt.  He busts out a huge tope con hilo to half kill Matt.  Ah good he got rid of the warm-up pants and has regular tights under them.  Back in the ring and Matt gets a Side Effect for two.  Matt grabs a Cravate and here’s Flair to play cheerleader.

AJ gets up and seems to rub Matt’s face to take him to the mat.  Styles Clash is blocked and they speed it up a bit with Matt tripping over AJ.  Nice dropkick puts Matt down and AJ goes up.  And then Flair shoves him off the top, naturally joining Immortal again as it was about as obvious as you could get.  Twist of Hate ends it at 3:25.

Rating: C. Match was just long enough to grade but was nothing special at all.  As soon as Flair was there the swerve was completely obvious.  Somehow this is by far the best match of the night and it barely ran 200 seconds.  That might be good though as Matt isn’t someone that can go long distance for the most part.

Flair and Matt beat down AJ until Fourtune runs them off.

Anderson is mad and wants Bischoff.

The Jarretts are in a hot tub.  Can’t complain much with Karen in there.

Anderson wants Bischoff and here comes the silver fox.  He’s annoyed that RVD is getting the title shot tonight.  Despite losing clean on Sunday, Anderson thinks he’s been robbed.  The network decided that RVD got the shot tonight.  Anderson wants to know since when did the network have anything to do with anything around here.  Put him in the ring and that’s ratings.  Bischoff says that Anderson needs to PG himself down a bit.

Anderson says he’ll take the word out of his vocabulary and Bischoff talks more.  Eric will put him in the main event as the guest referee.  Jeff won clean on Sunday and Eric says that Anderson can get a shot if he plays it fair tonight.  Mic Check leaves Bischoff laying.  Anderson is supposed to be TNA’s Austin and it’s just not there.  Points for trying though I guess.

Velvet is talking to Winter and Velvet wants Winter to stay out of ringside tonight.  Velvet turns her back and Winter picks up some scissors until Angelina comes in.  Winter says Velvet could never feel for Angelina like Winter does.  Velvet leaves and Winter says all will be revealed.

AJ is ticked about Flair and says this is about AJ vs. Flair.

Angelina Love/Velvet Sky vs. Rosita/Sarita

 

The brawl starts in the aisle as you would expect.  Velvet vs. Sarita starts us off officially.  Off to Rosita as the fans are rather quiet.  Tandem elbow drop from the Beautiful People gets no cover as Sarita breaks it up.  World’s Strongest Slam from Angelina to Rosita and it’s off to Sarita again.  Backbreaker gets two for Angelina and Velvet comes in again.

The cousins are tagging in a lot.  Rosita doesn’t seem to want to stay in and keeps bringing Sarita in, which ticks her off.  Everything breaks down with Angelina and Rosita on the floor.  Velvet tries a DDT but Rosita trips her up and holds the feet down for the pin at 3:52.  Can we please break 4 minutes?  Please?

Rating: D. Weak match here with a predictable ending.  There was no way the Beautiful People were going to be able to win here and everyone knew it.  This went nowhere for the most part and was just to continue the losing streak by Velvet.  Somehow this is the longest match of the night.  That’s a little absurd.

Velvet says she wants to end this with Sarita.  Sarita says Velvet is a loser then remembers she’s supposed to have an accent.  Sarita wants Velvet’s career on the line and Velvet says bring it on.

The Jarretts are going to dinner.  More sex is implied.

Kurt is mad and is going to their dinner party.

Madison is talking to Tara and says she’s knocked out the entire locker room so she’s bored.  There’s an open challenge next week.

Next week there’s a pose down between Terry and Steiner.

We recap RVD’s world title win and him having to vacate the title due to the attack by Abyss.  Also we see about Hardy betraying him and being responsible for the attack on RVD.  Hardy says he’s going to hurt Van Dam.

The Jarretts are complaining about the food and toast Kurt having to be humiliated on March 3^rd.  Karen complains about the wine and Jarrett goes off on the chef.  And here’s Kurt who just somehow got in the restaurant.  He wants to know where the tip is.  This was uh….odd.

RVD says tonight he gets his shot and preparation meets opportunity.  The title is just a bonus.

Since we need to make sure no match gets anything resembling a decent amount of time tonight we talk about the Dudley street fight at the PPV but Spike won’t let them show the footage.  D-Von won’t give comments but Ray comes out to the table.  Ray goes all bully on them and Tazz has something to say about it.  Ray says that if he wants to smack Tenay (this old man) then he will.  Tazz says no you won’t because you crossed the line Sunday.  Isn’t that the point of the company.  Ray slaps Tenay’s headset off and leaves.

TNA World Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Jeff Hardy

 

Anderson is the guest referee.  He does his usual intro but calls Green Bay Title Tow USA to mess the fans up a bit.  Taz says that Jeff’s entrance is inspired by Lady Gaga.  Oh dear he’s coming out of an egg.  I give up.  RVD, the guy that is so angry, starts with a collar and elbow tie up.  He gets the one footed dropkick to Hardy who is crotched on the top.  Flair vs. AJ is announced for next week.

All RVD to start.  To the floor and RVD drapes him over the barricade so he can hit the spinning leg kick to the back as we take a break.  Back with Van Dam hitting something on Hardy that we couldn’t see since when we came back the camera was on the monitor above the ring and then cut away.  Either way it gets two for the challenger.  Split Legged Moonsault out of the corner eats knees though.

Hardy gets a low dropkick to send RVD’s ribs into the post.  Sitout Gordbuster gets two for Jeff.  Whisper in the Wind misses and Van Dam gets a standing moonsault for no cover.  Van Dam gets shoved to the floor and Jeff takes over again.  Swanton gets two.  Five Star gets two as Jeff gets his foot on the ropes.  Van Dam tries to get a rollup but accidentally runs Jeff into the corner where Anderson is standing.  A low blow by Hardy when Anderson can’t see it sets up the Twist of Hate to end it at 12:20.

Rating: C+. The match was fine and thankfully it got some time unlike the rest of the matches tonight, but this should have been at Victory Road instead of on Impact.  Anderson added very little here but I guess it’s supposed to set up the continuance of their feud and make him look more like Austin.  Either way, not bad here but nothing I’ll remember in a few days.

Anderson hits the Mic Check on Hardy post match and Van Dam complains about the low blow.  Here’s a Mic Check for Van Dam as well to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Yeah this was pretty bad.  The main problem here is simple: until the main event which started at 10:47, we had (rounded up to) 11:30 of wrestling.  I’m sorry but that’s unacceptable for me in nearly two hours of wrestling.  They gave us a decent main event which should have been a PPV main event but instead we got it with about two hours of buildup.  If nothing else make THIS the main event March 3^rd but that’s Hogan and the Jarretts’ night I guess.

Overall the show was too light on wrestling and all of the talking they did amounted to nothing.  Flair returned and was with Fourtune for about an hour before joining Immortal again.  That and the Jarretts were the main focus of the show tonight.  All in all it’s a big preview for March 3^rd which seems to be the new norm for TNA: have supershows instead of the PPVs as the main thing.  That’s fine, but it makes the TV shows pretty boring on the way there.  Bad show this week after TNA had been on a hot streak lately.

Results

Hernandez b. Douglas Williams – Border Toss

Kazarian b. Robbie E via DQ when Cookie hit Kazarian with a purse

Matt Hardy b. AJ Styles – Twist of Hate

Rosita/Sarita b. Angelina Love/Velvet Sky – Rosita pinned Velvet when Sarita held Rosita’s legs

Jeff Hardy b. Rob Van Dam – Twist of Hate